#james is not mentionned for obvious reasons

[lovinregulus]

Thought of the marauders singing 30/90... which in canon would be Remus, a rat and Sirius in prison

[solarisburns]

Dorcas knew something was wrong when Evan showed up at her door one night. At the start of the war, right before she graduated all three of her-the boys took the dark mark. She wanted, desperately, for there to be more to the story, but if there was they never told her. So when she found out she was furious told them all she never wanted to speak to them ever again, and the only time they would see her face is from behind bars or in a shallow grave. They respected that and before she knew it, its been over a year and she missed them like she misses a limb. but she does not regret her decision.

So when one night evan shows up alone, dorcas knows something is wrong. she nearly curses him outright when he asks to come in but he offers his wand to her and doesn't even flinch when she rips it out of his hand. idly she considers snapping it. Evan didn't look good, he was more wirey than before the war and he looked depressed. his eyes were red.

he came into her apartment and looked around in curiosity, right he had never seen her apartment they had stopped speaking a week before she moved in. he sat on her couch and she pretended not to be hurt about how right it felt to have him here. then he spoke, "We wanted to tell you, I swear we did but he told us that if you knew and someone found out you would be a target. You and marlene and your family. We tried Dorcas we tried so fucking hard but were losing and we don't know what to do and you, your the most powerful witch we know and Reg-" he rambled frantically and when he tried to say Regulus' name his voice broke and Dorcas was filled with this horrible sense of dread. She knew why Evan was here but she didn't want to believe it. She needed to hear it out loud but merlin she didn't want to.

"Evan, what are you doing here."

"Regulus is dead."

"Oh."

And the worst part is, Dorcas knew, they all knew that Regulus would not make it through this war. One way or another, no matter what side, this always ended with Regulus dead. She feels a stab of resentment for the dead boy.

"Were spies, we um have been for years. Regulus stole something from Voldemort, he uh he died to get it. He told us if he didn't make it back to bring it to you, that you would have the power to destroy it. It's with Pandora at the moment, we try to keep it moving so theres less of a chance it can be tracked, but we wanted to tell you now. I'm sorry. And I'm sorry I had to be the one to tell you, I know you never wanted to see me again but Pandora is telling Sirius and Barty the Potters." Evan was crying, and he was desperately trying to hide it. Then Dorcas realized she was crying to. They sat there and cried and cried, it could have been for hours the two of them cried.

She clears her throat and looks at the clock, "Marlene will be home soon, you should leave. And uh tell Pandora she, alone, can bring whatever it is over tomorrow afternoon." Dorcas wants to forgive them but she can't, not yet. And Regulus is dead, it doesn't feel real except for the way it's all too real.

Evan nods, "of course, whatever you need." he holds his hand for his wand and turns towards the door when he gets it, but hesitates. "I know I have no right to ask this, but Cas, can I have a hug?"

She's up before he finishes his sentence and pulling him into a hug "Sure Ev." she whispers into his ear as she rocks them, their the same height now, she used to have an inch on him. he huffs what might be a laugh. and before she knows it their letting go and he's almost out the door.

"See ya around Meadowes?"

"See you around Rosier."

And then he's gone and if she closes her eyes she can pretend that he was never here at all. That somewhere in the world the three boys are out there getting drunk and ruining peoples lives and growing up without her. The boys are spies and lied to her for years and Regulus is dead. She sinks down the closed door and sobs.

(She never does see Evan around, he died two months later)

[sysig]

Self-contradictory (Patreon)

[dumbkiwi]

bellhands is so fucking funny to me. he's not real! he doesn't exist! and theyre matelots nonetheless

[daxite]

i'm so fucking tired about how the internet has to dissolve every discussion into some fucking black-and-white "us vs. them" shit

[neroushalvaus]

Okay I am going to use the Somerton situation to talk about something that is very important to me. Following the discussion I have seen former Somerton fans being disappointed in themselves and questioning how they can ever trust another video essayist again. I have also seen some people being smug because to them Somerton was obviously unreliable from the start. As a person who also saw the "red flags" in Somerton, I would like to skip the smugness and talk a bit about what the red flags were to me.

Someone else has probably posted something similar and Hbomberguy's & Todd in the Shadows's videos touched a few of these points, but they didn't focus on them or how to spot these things. I think it is a good thing: I think it would have reinforced the idea that Somerton's fans were to blame for being lied to, and these youtubers didn't want to pin any blame on the fans. Also, some of the things I'm going to talk about were not by any means proof of him being unreliable, they were common tropes I personally associate with people who are bullshitting on internet. Think of it as something like spotting terfs: If you consider following a tumblr user and find out they have at some point posted "males will always be a danger to females no matter what they say", it is very possible that they are not a terf. Maybe they were having a bad day and were just wording their post badly – But you should probably search "trans" from their blog before following them, just to be sure.

So, the tropes in James Somerton's content that I consider red flags:

Lack of sources. This one may seem obvious and Hbomb talked about this in his video, but the lack of sources in his videos was outrageous. Video essays are called essays for a reason, they are not supposed to be just a guy talking about whatever comes to his mind, they should be well researched essays. Obviously video essays should contain one's own thoughts and interpretations and those do not need citations. But James Somerton didn't come out of the womb knowing everything about LGBT history, Disney and film theory, if he actually knew something about all this stuff, he should have learnt it from somewhere. There should be sources he could point to. It is very common that even when a video essayist doesn't tell you where they got all their information, they open their video by saying stuff like "when I prepared for this video I read the book Also sprach Zarathustra by Friedrich Nietzsche and this one thrilling blog post about lesbian cruising in 1960s Sweden". From what I've seen, James does not really do this. From watching his videos you could arrive to the conclusion that James Somerton does not read any books, he just knows everything. There are situations where people don't feel the need to add sources, like when the information is considered common knowledge or when the topic relates heavily to the essayist's actual academic field or profession. This is okay and very understandable, but can sometimes be dangerous, since if the video essayist markets himself as a marketing specialist, people are more likely to take his word for stuff that has to do with marketing, even without sources. It is understandable that in many situations an essayist may think "why should I cite a source? I know this thing!", but doing your research well is partly about checking if the information you are certain of is actually true. Also, as Hbomb pointed out, if you can cite a source, your audience can go learn more about the subject. It's not about anyone doubting you know your stuff, it's about learning. That's why well-respected video essayists usually cite their sources very clearly.

Lack of pictures and screenshots. This is about different kinds of sources again, many things on this list are kind of about sources. An example: When James Somerton made a video about JKR, he mentioned something about Rowling at one time saying that trans students in 30-50Feralhogs (or whatever the wizard school is called) could use magic to present as their gender. If this was any other video essayist, you'd expect a tweet to pop up, or something else confirming Rowling ever said this. Nothing pops up, obviously because Rowling didn't say this, but you can't see anything fishy in that because things rarely pop up in Somerton's videos. He doesn't show you court documents when speaking about a court case, he doesn't show you the comments apparently mad at him for implying the gay anime is gay when he is complaining about people being mad at him. There is a reason people show screenshots and tweets in video essays. When a good video essayist says JK Rowling has tweeted that all people who menstruate should be referred to as women, the video essayist shows the tweet so people know they are not making it up. If there were hoards of annoying bitc-- I mean, angry white women whining about gay sex in HuffPost articles or Somerton's youtube comments, he should have no trouble showing you those. Remember that you should not trust someone just because they show you pictures or screenshots. Pictures can be photoshopped, screenshots can be doctored. Many youtubers are aware that you listen to their videos while cleaning or while walking your dog and don't actually see the screen all the time, and some may take advantage of that by saying something like "and here she threatened to kill me" while showing a text message where someone said "die mad about it". A screenshot alone isn't much but you should demand to see the screenshot.

Passive voice. I am once again bitching about this. Somerton repeatedly says things like "it's been said that" or "it was common knowledge that" or "a legend says that" or "according to most interpretations". He doesn't say who says it, making it very hard to fact check and that seems to be his goal in some cases.

Relying heavily on anecdotes. Writing a dense, analytical video about film theory or history can be exhausting and you may want to pepper in little fun facts. However Somerton seemed to rely on these heavily; he can't just talk about how he has totally bought every lie told by The Pink Swastika, he also needs to tell a cute little anecdote about SS men forcing sexual favours out of men. He can't just tell a story about a court case, he needs to add in ridiculous stuff about the jury booing. This is what I mean by not all the things on this list being necessarily proof of someone being unreliable. Many people use anecdotes and little stories in their storytelling, it makes the videos flow better and it's hard to decide which anecdotes are valid and which are not. A source obviously makes an anecdote a bit more believable, but here are some things that instantly make me fact check an anecdote:

It's a bit too convenient, poetic or ironic. Sometimes real life is weirder than fiction but if an anecdote is "perfect" and has an amazing punchline and you could write twelve poems about it, there is a possibility it was invented by pop science books.

It assumes your political enemies are stupid. Dunking on conservatives, MRAs and transphobes is always fun and after you've seen a lot of this kind of content it's easy to believe anything about these people. You must resist the impulse to believe everything that may make your opponents look stupid.

The person telling the anecdote implies it is an example of a larger, systemic problem. You know what's worse than taking a random happenstance from human history or internet and basing an entire political theory on it? The said random happenstance being made up. You should in general be wary of people telling one story and explaining why it's an example of everything that's wrong in the world. We live in a huge world. You can always find a white woman who loves cute gays but hates the idea of Nick Heartstopper and Charlie Heartstopper getting nasty but that doesn't mean it's an indicator of a larger issue.

Simplifying complex issues. We all know that "only the boring gays survived the AIDS crisis, and that's why gays started to only care about marriage equality and military" is a horrible, insensitive thing to say, but you also have to think about it for like two seconds to realize that it can't be correct. It kind of reminds me of the "roe v wade caused the crime drop of 1990s" claim in Freakonomics. It sounds logical and simple, like a basic math calculation. Societal issues rarely are like that, though. You should never believe anyone who tells you about a huge societal shift and says it happened because of one thing and one thing only.

These were some of the things I noticed in Somerton's content that caused me to distrust him. I hope these were helpful to you and feel free to add your own "red flags" if you feel like it!

[pretty-little-mind33]

James Potter x fem!reader

Summary: You and James are friends with benefits until daisies and an incident with one asshole Quidditch player stirs up some hidden (or not-so-hidden) feelings

Genre: Fluffy fluff <3

Warnings: swearing, slut shaming, mentions of sex, pranks

Since you met him in Charms class your fourth year he'd been a nuisance. In the beginning, you didn't even consider him; he was just some boy who was consistently louder than anyone else in the room and incredibly obnoxious.

Only eventually, it became obvious he'd somehow wormed his way into your heart when in the first month of your seventh year, three drinks in and one drunken kiss later, James Potter had ended up taking more than just your heart.

Your mutually-beneficial-arrangement, which has blossomed since then, is the reason you're now standing in front of the Gryffindor changing room. The boys' changing room.

You and James have this new tradition where, after he wins an important game, you'll meet him in the changing room after his teammates had left and, well, you were his reward.

Slowly, you run a hand through your hair, fixing the barrette you have pinned on one side, and then smooth your hand down your uniform. Hesitantly, you turn the handle.

Once you walk in, it takes approximately less than three seconds for you to realize you made a terrible mistake.

Inside you're met with loud, bustling, chatter as Gryffindor boys you only know by name and Quidditch positions pack their equipment and uniforms into their bags. You freeze.

One of the boys turns around, "What the bloody fuck is a girl doing in here?" He exclaims, sounding truly horrified.

Immediately, you spin around to leave but without warning another boy seemingly materializes next to you and slams his hand into the door. You almost bump into it as it shuts directly in front of you. You swallow nervously as you have no choice but to turn around.

"Y/n?" You hear your name and an immediate sense of relief rushes over you. You watch James walk in. His hair is still damp from a shower and a towel is thrown over his shoulder.

His look of confusion quickly turns into realization when he scans you and sees the small flower in your hand. Usually, when he wins you gift him a daisy and he likes to keep them all in the pocket of his Captain's uniform as good luck charms.

James's eyes then jump to his teammate and when he sees how close his arm is to your head and how close he is to you in general, he frowns, "Hey O'Conner, back it up, buddy." He says, hiding his annoyance behind a joke as he quickly makes his way to you.

O'Conner huffs but listens to James anyway. He sends you a look and then laughs to himself, "Is this your girlfriend, Potter. Seems like she has a little present for you." O'Conner looks at the daisy in your hand and you quickly hide it behind your back, cheeks burning hot.

When James reaches you, he gently holds your shoulder and turns you around. His mouth is pressed near your ear as he whispers, "Come on," and leads you out the door.

Even when James shuts the door behind you, you can still hear mocking and whistles from inside the changing room and you've never been more embarrassed in your life. You're sure James can sense how anxious you've become because he runs his thumb over your knuckles, "It's okay, love. You're just a little early. You can come back in thirty minutes and it will just be just us, like it usually is."

You stare at him and, after a moment, shake your head. You don't have to speak or explain yourself for James to understand as he kisses your forehead, "Ok, I'll see you at Honeydukes in a bit then? Pads and Moony said they invited you already?"

"Yeah." Is all you say.

James gently slides his hand down your cheeks and uses his thumb and index finger to tilt your chin up, "Gimme a smile, love?" He asks seriously.

You look into his eyes, rolling yours, but smile at him anyways. You hear him mumble something and then he swiftly plucks the daisy from your hand and, because he doesn't have any available pockets, puts it behind his ear.

When James sends you his signature smirk, you think you're melting.

"Bye Jamie," You whisper as he turns around to walk into the changing room again. The door opens and you can hear the laughter inside but they don't bother you anymore when you see a glimpse of James giving one of his teammates the middle finger as the daisy stays in his hair.

* * *

Honeydukes is known to be busy after Quidditch matches and it's especially busy when Gryffindor wins. It's a tradition that originated from James, Sirius, and Remus, and now almost everyone just comes along until it's turned into a full party.

James has his arm draped over the booth behind you as he leans against the corner. He laughs as Sirius chugs Butterbeer as quickly as possible. Your nose scrunches in disgust and Remus quickly snatches what was his drink away from Sirius's hands, "You're a pig." Remus reprimands gently and rolls his eyes.

Sirius just winks, licks his lips, and leans in to wipe the side of his mouth on the collar of Remus's sweater, to which the latter smacks him over the head and earns an amused, still muffled, laugh.

You smile. You're lost in thoughts when you suddenly feel James's fingers draw circles and various shapes on your back. It's something he does almost routinely. You turn to him, but he doesn't look back at you as his fingers find your hair and play with the strands. You admire how his hazel eyes dart from Remus to Sirius depending on who's talking. You like the way his messy black hair, now dry, is curling around his forehead and you have to resist pushing up his round glasses, which sit a little low on his nose.

You have completely lost track of their conversation and when you're pulled down to earth by a shout from another drunk student, you avert your gaze from James and instead focus on your nearly finished Butterbeer. A blush of embarrassment heats your cheeks and you slide out of the booth.

"Everything ok?" Sirius asks and the boys look at you.

You smile and lift your glass, "Yeah, I just want another round."

"Alright, love." James says, turning his head a little. You can see the daisy still hiding in his curls and your chest tightens.

You really wish you'd known in fourth year how badly you'd fall for James Potter, because maybe then you could have prevented the pain of how shitty it feels to only admire him from afar.

Pushing past a bunch of students, you go to lean against the bar as you wait your turn to order. You hadn't heard someone come up to you until you feel someone's shoulder close to yours. Because of the intimacy, you think it's one of your friends, "Hey–" You start and look up, only to jump a little as O'Conner grins down at you.

Quintin O'Conner is a rather tall, handsome boy with short, thin, auburn hair. His vibrant green eyes shine as he tips his full glass of beer with an obnoxious smirk, "Hey, stalker."

You frown at the nickname, "Can I help you?" You ask.

"Sure." O'Conner licks his lips, "Potter didn't say you were his girlfriend, so I'm wondering if you're free tomorrow night? If I'm honest, I'd love one of your good luck daisies too." His hand slides over the counter and hesitates at your hand. You shift.

James told his teammates about your daisies? You blush, "Oh um, no, those are for James." You try to explain without sounding creepy and possessive. O'Conner fakes a pout and this time his hand reaches yours and his thumb caresses along your palm.

"Yeah, but like, he's not your boyfriend is he?"

"He's not but,"

"Listen, it's pretty obvious whatever activities you and Potter do in private has caused you to fall in love with him but, clearly, he just doesn't feel the same," O'Conner now grips your hand and leans in way too close, "Y/n, if you were mine I would never take you for granted." He looks you over, his eyes more sinister than his words.

You feel like someone has just choked you. Has James been going around telling people you've been hooking up? You thought you'd agreed you wouldn't even tell Sirius and Remus? You stare at O'Conner, "How do you know that?" You stutter.

"Please," O'Conner rolls his eyes, "It's quite obvious you know? You didn't just walk into the boys changing rooms looking for Potter to have a chat, did you? Plus, anyway, Potter told us the moment you left."

You shake my head automatically as his hand grips yours and somehow leans in even closer. "What's he doing to you that I can't do?" O'Conner's lips are close to your ear now and a shiver runs down your spine. Quickly, you pull your hand away and swoop under and around him.

"Sorry, I have to go." You mumble and start to make your way back to the booth, head spinning.

"Slut," You hear O’Conner shout over the chatter and you wince, closing your eyes.

When you find your way back to Sirius, Remus, and James empty handed, they look at you confused, "What's wrong, love?" James asks, sitting up in his seat. His eyes look you over and you can tell just by his eyebrow scrunch he knows you're upset.

Sirius and Remus look equally concerned and they look towards the bar, only by now O'Conner has probably gone to bother another unsuspecting girl.

When you don't move, James is up on his feet and is making his way towards you. He holds out his arms and tries to wrap them around your shoulders comfortingly but you push your arms outwards and up so he can't touch you. You shake your head. Now, the boys look even more concerned, "Seriously, what happened, Y/n?" James whispers and crosses his arms.

You look at him and the daisy in his hair just pisses you off now, "Did you tell them?" You ask, the butterbeer in your system creating a light buzz, making your head feels fuzzy, "James, did you tell them?"

"What?" James's eyes round.

"You heard me." You hiss. Sirius and Remus look at each other confused.

"Please, just tell me what happened." James pleads in another whisper as he starts to walk towards you again, only this time you move away from him.

"Oi, Potter, next time keep your bitch on a tighter leash. She was all over me a few moments ago." You suddenly hear O'Conner taunt and your head snaps towards the sound. O'Conner's arm is swung around another girl's shoulder as he grins at you.

"What the fuck did you just say, man?" Sirius exclaims as Remus instantly holds his arm back.

You glance at James and you can see his mind racing. He's staring at O'Conner but he hasn't reacted or even moved in any way. Instead, he looks at you, and his eyes soften, "Y/n," He starts but you don't wait for an explanation and just turn around.

You've barely gone out the door when James is behind you again, "Wait, please. Talk to me." He says and his hand skims your arm. Reluctantly, you pause and let out a sigh,

"I'm so fucking mad at you, James." You exclaim.

"Okay," James's voice is calm and he guides you to turn around and look at him, "Why is that, love?" He's eerily calm, especially since he has a few drinks in him, and you're extremely suspicious.

"Why are you so calm?" You ask lightly, only a little hurt he didn't stand up for you in Honeydukes.

James tilts his head, "After what O'Conner said? Sweetheart, I'm fucking furious but that wanker isn't who I care about right now." He takes a breath, "I want to know what happened to make you so mad at me."

You glare at him, "We promised we wouldn't tell anyone about us."

James looks flustered, "Yeah? And I haven't." He defends.

You roll your eyes, "So why did O'Conner come up to me asking me about what you do to me, James?"

James looks like he's seen a ghost. He shakes his head and his hands come up to your shoulders, he’s gentle as he holds you, "Y/n, I never told him anything. Bloody hell, I'd never brag about shagging you to anyone, you deserve so much more than that."

He looks so sincere you sigh, "You think he just figured it out then?" You ask.

James smirks and plucks the daisy from behind his ear. He twirls it in front of you, "I mean this is pretty damning, isn't it?"

Your smile weakens, "Do you not like them?"

James laughs a little and his hand comes up to hold your cheek, "I love them, love." His hand lingers on your cheek and he starts to move his thumb, "Come on, let’s go back in, yeah?”

He starts to turn around but you grab his wrist, "Promise you didn't tell them about us?" You whisper, still feeling insecure.

"I promise." He reassures you. When a small bell chimes, he looks back to the door which swings open and Sirius and Remus come stumbling out.

Remus is holding onto Sirius's collar, helping him stay on his feet, "Mates, let's leave. Pads has had way too much to drink and he almost knocked O'Conner's teeth out in there." He groans. You and James look at each other, laughing.

"I'm seriously debating going back in there and punching that asshole myself." James jokes, swinging his arm around your shoulder and Sirius grins drunkenly.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Prongs?" He asks, staggering on his feet.

"Oh, I sure am." James says, smirking.

* * *

It happened a week later. All week, James had been visibly agitated after his Quidditch practices and he wouldn't tell you why.

It's Saturday morning now. Mail time. You're sitting in your usual seats: James and Sirius on one side, You and Remus on the other. James is directly in front of you and he’s been playing footsies since you all sat down. You can't hide your giggles and he can't hide his smile.

"Hey, hey, the show is starting soon."Sirius leans in after a while and smirks. James looks around excitedly as owls start to swoop in from the sky. You look at them: they look like giddy children that have just been allowed to have candy after 8pm.

"What did you guys do?" You ask, raising an eyebrow.

Remus chuckles from beside you, "You'll see."

You glance at him, surprised, "You're in on it, Moony?"

"Of course he is, this was a group project, doll." Sirius winked and then his eyes follow a brown owl. You recognize it as James's owl, only it isn't flying towards you guys.

"Where is your owl going, Jamie?" You frown

"Somewhere special." James says nonchalantly and turns to watch, his arms crossed as he leans on Sirius: who is leaning forward himself and resting his chin on his hand as he wears a smug grin.

You watch his owl swoop down near where some Gryffindor Quidditch players are eating, O'Conner being one of them. He's laughing obnoxiously and anger bubbles inside you.

Remus leans in to you and whispers, "3…2…1," Pause and then James's owl drops a letter in front of O'Conner. Sirius first pumps the air as James smirks.

"You sent O'Conner a letter?" You ask James, hesitantly.

"Better." He grins. As if in clock work, a loud voice booms over the dinning hall. You recognize it immediately, it's James. Well, it kinda sounds like James only he's making an exaggerated, frankly mocking, Australian accent. Quite like how O'Conner sounds normally.

James is also clearly attempting to sound more feminine and you cover your mouth in shock as James from inside the howler begins to talk, "Quinnie, this is mummy," You look at James and Sirius, who look like they're already pissing their pants with laughter.

"Hi my darling. I'm replying to your earlier letter. Daddy and I think you should get that itchy rash on your penis checked out sooner rather than later, honey. You've been a good boy and used protection, right?"

Remus snorts from next to you as you hear some laughter resound around the room. O'Conner looks absolutely mortified as his friends laugh around him. His misery isn't over as the howler continues, "Try Granny's cream every night, ok? Daddy and I hope you feel better soon, lovie. Kisses, your Mummy dearest." James ends the letter with a loud, slobbery, kiss and then the letter rips.

Sirius has his head in his arms and his shoulders bounce as he hyperventilates quietly while James looks extremely proud. Even Remus is wearing a shit-eating grin. When O'Conner looks at you all, his cheeks dusted pink from embarrassment and anger, James simply blows him a kiss and sends him the middle finger.

You laugh behind my hand, "Why did you guys do that?"

Sirius shrugged, "That bloke has always been an asshole,"

"And he was extremely disrespectful to you yesterday, Y/n/n." Remus points out, to which James nods as he eats a mouthful of scrambled eggs. You scrunch your nose at him and eat your toast. Occasionally, you'll look over at O'Conner, who looks absolutely infuriated as his friends tease him endlessly.

"Seeing his face turn that red was pretty satisfying." You point out.

"Anyways, he should have seen it coming. No one messes with my girl without consequences." He says it without a second thought and he doesn't even look phased. You on the other hand? You're extra aware of the dryness in your throat as you try and process what James so casually said. His girl? You look at Remus and then at Sirius almost for confirmation that he had indeed said it. They look a little unsure but more awkward than confused.

"Okay well, we have Potions. See you later." Sirius stands, looking at Remus and gestures for him to stand too, "Coming, Moons?"

Remus nods quickly and walks out behind him, leaving you and James alone.

You find it incredibly annoying how nonchalant James can be sometimes. "So, your girl, huh?" You ask, hesitantly.

James pauses and looks at you, something sparks in his eyes but it quickly dies as he bends his head and continues to eat, "Mmhm." His foot nudges yours a little, "You're our girl, and we take care of what's ours."

Your heart sinks. You don't want to be their girl. You want to be his girl. Instead of the girl he fucks in secret, you want to be the one he kissed sweetly in the hallway. You want to be more than just friends.

More than just fuck buddies.

"Oh." You say, your disappointment hidden behind a small smile and James perks up.

"Wanna ditch?" He asks with a smirk.

* * *

You and James like to play Wizard's Chess.

He's infamously bad at it which means you win everytime. Still, he always loses graciously and plays whenever you ask him.

You're sitting at the edge of the lake, the warm spring air hitting your skin, and the chess board Remus had gotten you for your sixteenth birthday sits in between you and James.

"Checkmate," You stick your tongue out at him as James groans.

James scrunches his brows and then, quite obviously, uses his knee to knock over the chessboard, "Oops." He laughs. You widen your eyes and try to push him on his shoulder but James just grips your wrist and pulls you into him.

He stumbles backwards until he's laying on the grass and you're hovering over him, sitting on his waist. You look at him, breathing heavily, and he looks at you.

You don't protest when James's hand curls around the back of your neck and he guides you down to kiss him. You melt into his arms. His hand finds your hair as he kisses you more passionately and for a moment you're content until James's other hand starts to tug at the buttons of your chemise. You tense and disconnect your lips, holding his hand away from your body.

"You ok?" He asks, sitting up and helping you sit in between his legs.

You can't look at him without feeling shame and embarrassment. Is this over? All because of your stupid feelings? You turn to him hesitantly and when you look at his lips, your heart hurts. Was this the last time you'll ever kiss him?

"Hey, love, what's wrong?" James asks, holding your cheeks in his hands and gently forcing you to look at him.

You shake your head and push him away, "James, no, you know I don't like it when you do that."

"Sorry," He whispers, his cheeks pink. You feel guilty.

"It's ok, Jamie. It's just," You rub your eyes and run a hand in your hair, probably messing it up, "I- I don't think I want to continue this. Us." You pause, "Not like this." You add in a whisper.

"What? Why?" James sounds confused and a little hurt, "Is it me? Have I not been good enough? I- I can learn, love." He stutters and you can't help but wonder why he's insisting so badly.

"No, you've been more than wonderful, James." You admit and then fiddle with your hands, "It's me,"

"Y/n, you're bloody fantastic." James interrupts, voice croaky.

You lower your eyes and smile softly, "No, it's because I think I've been falling in love with you." You say quietly and shut your eyes. You feel sick to your stomach.

James is not talking, he's not even moving anymore. You feel like you could vomit.

"You've been falling in love with me?" James asks.

Hearing those words, you quickly cover your face with your hands, "I- I'm sorry."

James takes your hands and gently moves them away from your face, "You're sorry?" You nod quickly and your heart pounds. Hope is a dangerous game, but James is smiling so maybe hope is worth the risk.

"Please don't be sorry, my love." James brings your palms to his lips and kisses your hand. His lips are light and shivers run up your arms, "I'm sorry. I have been such a fool." He leans his forehead on yours and suddenly, you feel lightheaded in a completely different way.

"James," You start but he interrupts you with a finger pressed to your lips.

"I didn't think you felt the same way as me," He chuckles, "I mean? Why would someone like you: someone so kind and honest, actually want more with someone like me? So, I was happy with our agreement because I still wanted to have you in any way I could. But, you love me? You really love me?" You nod and James's smile widens until it almost looks like it hurts him, "I've loved you since forever, Y/n/n, you can't even begin to imagine how happy you've made me."

"Really?" You ask.

James rolls his eyes and leans in to kiss you gently. He pulls away and smiles that grin you love so much, "I knew I wasn't as obvious as Remus and Sirius said I was." James teases and your eyes round as you lean away from him a little,

"Remus and Sirius know?"

James touches your cheek and looks at you fondly, "Yeah, about how madly in love with you I am, not our extracurricular activities." He jokes with a wink, "I think if I'd been honest to them about that, they would have warned me how dangerous it'll end up being for me, and in the end they would have been right."

You still feel like you're in a dream when you take his hand in yours and play with his fingers, "How's that, Jamie?" You whisper, simply enjoying the new found warmth in your stomach.

"Because it was absolutely torture to have you so close, and yet, so far away from me all the time." James says and you feel validated in your own feelings.

You nuzzles your head in his chest and wrap your arms around him,

"Well, you have me now." You reassure him. He sighs and holds the back of your head and for the first time, you have everything you want here in your arms. You smile against his chest, "Does this mean I can call you my boyfriend now when someone asks."

James huffs and kisses your head, "You better, love."

"And, am I your girl now?" You ask, more timidly now as you sit up and look him in the eyes. James’s hand runs along the grass as he smirks. You see him pluck a daisy from the ground and, as he places it behind your left ear, you feel your cheeks start to burn.

"You've always been my girl." He whispers and leans in to kiss you once more. You think he mumbles, "mine" against your lips again, but at that point you're too busy being lost in the moment.

And, frankly, you don't want to be found.

[moonstruckme]

Hiiii!I hope your doing great I saw your requests just opened and I was wondering if you would mind doing a poly emt marauders with a reader that’s in hospital and they don’t know until they’re like bringing in someone in or something and their like why didn’t you tell us and she’s like oh cause I didn’t want you to worry.Something like that if not it’s fine have a good day!!!🌊

Thanks for requesting gorgeous! Not super sure if this is accurate since I don’t think paramedics usually spend much time inside the hospital but oh well haha. Hope you have a good day too! <3

cw: hospital/emergency room, mention of broken bone

emt!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 827 words

You’re just on your way out of A&E, feeling sore and shattered and more than a little sorry for yourself, when someone says your name. With an odd mix of relief and trepidation mingling in your chest, you turn. 

Sirius makes it to your first. He takes your face in his hands, eyes scanning it over thoroughly before starting to make their way down your body. “Baby, what’s happened?” 

“Hey,” you say, “what are you doing here?” 

“Um, no.” James gives you a funny-looking smile, amusement tangled up with worry. “It’s fairly normal for us to be here, what are you doing here?” 

“I, um—” 

“Idiots.” Remus bypasses them both, taking your injured hand gently and holding it up where your other boyfriends can see it. “What happened here, lovely?” 

“I broke my finger,” you admit. 

Sirius looks devastated, though with the splint binding your two fingers together you thought it was fairly obvious. “How?” 

“Shut it in my car door.” 

James winces and Remus tsks compassionately, turning your hand so he can see the injured digit from another angle. 

“How long have you been here?” he asks.

You shrug, not quite looking at any of them. “I had to wait a while. A few hours.” 

Remus’ look lets you know your sheepishness isn’t without good reason. “Did you drive yourself like this?” 

You nod meekly. 

“Angel!” James wraps his arms around you, tucking your head underneath his chin, and you go happily. You’ll take his mollycoddling over Remus’ reproachful stare any day. “Why didn’t you call us? I can’t believe you had to sit here all by yourself.” 

“I knew you were busy at work, and I didn’t want to worry you.” Now Sirius is glaring at you, too. You snuggle further into James’ embrace. “It wasn’t so bad.” 

“Did they have to set it?” Sirius asks. 

Your face heats. “Yeah. It was pretty weird-looking when it first happened.” 

James makes a pitiful whining sound. “Poor love.” 

“How long did they tell you it’d take to heal?” Remus’ voice sounds somewhat gentler now. He finally relinquishes your injured hand to Sirius, who starts turning it about and inspecting it in the same manner, like the doctor who splinted it for you might not have done a good enough job. 

“Six to eight weeks,” you say glumly. It already feels annoyingly constraining not being able to bend either of those fingers; you’re not sure how you’re supposed to deal with it for weeks on end. 

The boys exchange a look, and James drops the protective circle of his arms from around you. “I’m going to go find Amelia,” he says, “see if she’s on break.” 

You clutch at his shirt with your good hand. “Don’t leave me,” you whisper. 

Your boyfriend smiles, dropping a kiss on your head. “Sorry, lovie.” 

“I think we ought to feel insulted,” Sirius comments as James walks away. Remus only shrugs. 

He reaches for your face now that it’s not hidden under James’ chin, wiping frownily at something on your cheek. 

“Are you feeling alright now, dove?” he asks, and you veritably liquefy at the tenderness in his voice. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You shrug one shoulder lightly. “I’m sorry I didn’t call, but it really wasn’t awful.” 

Sirius gives your wrist an admonishing little squeeze. “You have tear marks on your face,” he contradicts you softly. 

“Oh.” You run a finger under your eyes, feeling your face heat. 

Remus tuts and lets his hand against the side of your neck, thumb stroking at your jaw. “We’re only on shift for another hour,” he tells you. “James is finding our friend Amelia so you can stay in the break room with her until we can come back and get you, okay?” 

You shake your head, and his stare hardens but you say anyway, “I don’t need to be babysat. I can get home on my own.” 

“You shouldn’t be driving after having anesthetic.” 

You narrow your eyes. “Wouldn’t they have told me if that were the case?” 

“We don’t want you driving with a numb hand,” Sirius clarifies. When you turn your attention to him, he gives you a stern look. “You should have called us in the first place. Just let us do what we can for you now, okay?” 

You sigh in resignation just as James comes up behind you again. Seeing as no one has taken over hug duty, he wraps both arms around your waist, setting his chin on your shoulder. 

“Okay,” you tell Sirius. 

“Oh, excellent. All on the same page, are we?” James turns his head to smooch your cheek. “Knew you’d come around, angel. Amelia’s ready for you, so you can hang in the break room until we get back.” 

“Is she going to baby me too?” you joke, letting him steer you towards the hallway. 

“Probably not,” Sirius says, “but don’t you worry, sweetness. We’ll make up for that when we get you home.” 

[marauroon]

hello !!! can i request a right person, wrong time with siri? maybe they broke up because of the war... and the reason is because siri doesn't want to put the reader into danger and then they meet again, all grown up and they still have feelings for each other and Siri has to grovel to win reader back again? And it ends with a happy ending (please) (Siri was the one who broke the relationship and reader was really hurt) it's very long yet vauge 😅

A CALL TO ARMS — S.BLACK

sirius black was the love of your life, and you were his. but sometimes higher priorities—and deep-seeded anxiety—can get in the way. but the invisible string of fate always brings people back together.

cw — fem!reader, details of the first wizard of war, reader and sirius have a messy and complicated relationship, harsh arguments, character death mentions, happy ending

sirius black x reader || hurt/comfort || 6.2k || requests open!!

a/n — let’s just pretend sirius doesn’t get avada’d like three weeks after this fic ends

The war put a strain on everybody. Some people had to leave their families to join the fight, some had to hide away to protect themselves from the Death Eaters.

Some didn’t have a family, anyone to worry about them coming home at the end of the day.

They threw themselves into it the hardest.

Then there was you and Sirius, a pair of outcasts who found solitude in each other. A pair who paid no greater devotion than protecting the people that you cared about from the ravages of Voldemort’s uprising.

You were barely eighteen when you both joined the Order, fresh out of Hogwarts and straight into the line of fire after the group had been offered a spot in Voldemort’s army and refused, leaving every one of you with a target on your back.

By the time you were twenty it almost seemed fruitless, with James and Lily being sent into hiding to protect them and their son under Dumbledore’s direct orders under fear for their continued safety and a Fidelius Charm placed over them to keep them safe. Sirius denied being their secret keeper with the explanation of it being too obvious a choice. What a mistake that was.

Then order members started dying.

And it all began to fall apart.

The brass framed picture in the entrance of the Black family home offered Sirius no empathy as he escaped the bitterness that October was serving him, the laughing faces of his friends and self-proclaimed family only serving to make his already dwindling morale dampen further.

Twenty-two people in the picture. And how many remained? Fourteen. In the span of five months.

It was Dorcus and Marlene that really did him over, and he could barely so much as glance in the direction of their hopeful smiles without feeling like he was going to throw up.

The trudging of his feet up the wooden stairs was proof enough of his arrival for any present members of the Order to hear, too fatigued and all together bleak at the continued state he was living in to announce his presence verbally.

“Sirius, sweetheart, you’re home thank goodness,” Not even the warmth of your arms around him or the relief in your voice as you pulled his head into your shoulder could satiate him anymore.

You shouldn’t have to be relieved that he walked through the door.

You shouldn’t have to hug him like it’s your final goodbye every time he leaves.

Every time you leave.

You didn’t deserve that. And neither did he.

“Godric you’re freezing, come and sit down,” You pull Sirius into his childhood bedroom with all of the care of a feather floating on a pool of water, squeezing his hands in yours like you’re trying to transfer your own heat to him.

He follows you with no real resistance, though he doesn’t make any move by himself, and you have to push his shoulders down to get him to sit in front of the lit fireplace that would hopefully quell the chill echoing across his skin.

You help him remove his coat with a sigh, dark frown lines marking your features as you take a seat beside him and rest the side of your head against his shoulder, your hand gently tracing over his to capture his palm in your own. He doesn’t return the small squeeze of your fingers.

You can’t blame him for being so dismal, the situation was something that nobody could make it through without a gargantuan crack in their emotional shield, but seeing Sirius display his almost funereal sentiment so fervently without so much as a hint of a mask was devastating.

Displaying even the tiniest glimmer of hopefulness was what allowed the Order to survive for so long, and Sirius couldn’t even muster that.

“Harry said his first word today,” You try to keep the conversation positive, ignore the downfall of everything around you and keep focusing on the small wins. “Dada of course, apparently Lily was pretty miffed,” You punctuate your sentence with a small laugh, although it’s more pathetic than genuine and even you can tell you’re doing a horrible job of trying to uplift Sirius’ spirit.

“They sent over a picture, Remus has it if you’d like to see—”

“Just stop.” Sirius shakes his head sharply, pulling his hand from yours and standing with his back to you.

“Sirius—”

“I don’t know why you keep trying to pretend that everything’s okay, it’s not. Our friends are dying and you’re acting like its completely fine.” There’s more malice in his voice than he’s intending, and logically you know that he doesn’t really mean to get so angry at you. It wasn’t you that was the problem, it was the world in which you were living.

But logic can often times get overridden by other facets.

“I am trying to stop anyone else from dying.” Your words are more desperate than harsh, and they’re not laced in anger like Sirius’ are, but they carry just the same amount of conviction. “If we lose hope then we may as well just hand ourselves over…”

There’s a stuttered exhale as you trail off, and Sirius swears he hears your voice crack as you try to take his hand in yours again. “I can’t bear to see you like this…”

“You should leave the Order.”

You’re almost not sure you heard him.

“What?”

“You don’t belong here, you’re not fit for this,” He sounds almost resigned, and his shoulders drop just enough that you’re not sure he really believes what he’s saying. “You should leave before you get hurt.”

There’s a moment where all you can really do is let out a breath of astonishment, and then there’s an overwhelming need to defend yourself against Sirius’ accusation. “I am perfectly fit for this, Dumbledore agreed that—”

“Well I don’t agree with it!” He cuts you off harshly, turning around so that you can see the anguish that’s drenching his features. “People are dying, our friends are dying, and you are on the goddamn list of whose next.”

He takes your upper arms in his hand and shakes you like it’s going to make you see his point, practically shouting at you as he desperately tries to get you to see his point of view. “You are a brilliant witch, and you are in so much danger that it makes me want to rip my heart out so I don’t have to worry about you any more—”

His rant doesn’t stop once his hands halt, and they stay gripped uncomfortably tight around your biceps to the point where you’re sure it’ll bruise. “Dorcus died because she was brilliant, Marlene died because her father was a muggle, you are like the two of them wrapped up in a package practically serving yourself up to the Death Eaters every time you step out of this goddamn house and I cannot take it anymore.”

Sirius practically pants as his yelling comes to a halt, and he almost immediately regrets getting riled up as he sees the reflection of the fireplace in your glassed over eyes.

“I love you. I love you so much and I can’t live like this anymore.” His hands move from your arms to cup the sides of your face, and you flinch at the contact like you’re afraid he’s going to hurt you.

It breaks Sirius’ heart.

“The Order is falling apart love… I don’t want you to be here when it collapses,”

You pull his hands from your face with yours at his wrists, shaking your head as you blink through clouds of tears. “I’m not leaving the Order, Sirius. You really think I would abandon my friends like that? My family? You?”

“Then I’ll make one of the hard choices for you,” Sirius lets his hands fall to his sides on your prompting, taking a step back from you to hide them in the pockets of his jeans. “I’m breaking up with you.”

“What—” There’s nothing but absolute betrayal written across your face, and Sirius almost breaks down immediately. “Sirius—”

“If you want to stay here and watch shit hit the fan then be my guest, but I will not put myself through watching your downfall.” He doesn’t give you the courtesy of replying before opening and slamming the door behind him as he leaves, but you’re not sure you’d be able to articulate anything even if he did, your only response being the start of a sob that echoes off of the empty walls and back into your ears to amplify your own anguish.

You move your belongings out of his room that same evening, taking refuge under Remus’ open arms as you cried yourself into an uneasy slumber, so emotionally exhausted that you could barely formulate any sense of coherency.

Lily and James died two days later.

The news hit you like a truck when Dumbledore relayed it to you, and whilst most of the Order were left in a blanket of shock, Sirius took off in a rage before he could even finish his sentence.

It was enough for you to push the grief aside to not cost you any more.

“Sirius wait—” You weave your way through the others and past Dumbledore to rush after him, the first words either of you had spoken in the other’s direction since the argument. “Where on earth do you think you’re going the Death Eaters might still be there—”

“I hope they are.” Sirius’ tone drips with venom as he pulls his motorcycle helmet from the coat rack at the front door, and you just barely catch his wrist before he has the chance to leave.

“You’re going on a suicide mission—”

“They murdered my brother, I have nothing to lose.” He again leaves the conversation with a slammed door, and you don’t know whether the possibility of his death or the fact that he’d seemingly accepted it hurt you more.

He had nothing to lose.

It was the biggest insult he could’ve possibly left you with.

And it’s all he did leave you with.

For twelve years.

You grieved the loss of Sirius like you did James and Lily, like he too had entered into an early grave of which he would never return. Azkaban may as well have been.

You were angry at first, disgustingly loathing the thought of what those twelve poor muggles had to endure as their final moments. You were less empathetic towards Peter’s fate, although your grief for him was replaced with a deep-seeded betrayal that sunk into your muscles all the same.

Then it settled into an uneven weight in the bottom of your chest, something that you carried with you from that point onward.

You moved out of England soon after, with nothing but a silent vow to Remus that if Voldemort were to ever return, that you’d be there, a final standing against the allegiance that stole your life from you.

You couldn’t stay there anymore, every street of London reminded you of him, of them, of all the people that you lost and how the prime years of your young adulthood were unceremoniously ripped from you under the false belief that you could actually make a difference.

As weeks turned into months, and then into years, there were days that passed where you didn’t think of what happened, of how your previous life had fallen apart and left you as a shell of yourself, and eventually, you managed to pick up the pieces and live your life like it hadn’t happened.

Apart from a single shard of your heart that had lodged itself at 12 Grimmauld Place, underneath the black silk sheets you and Sirius once shared.

You were thirty three when a letter from R.J.Lupin was sent through the letterbox of your house, and it was like those twelve years of growth and acceptance disappeared in an instant.

—

‘I hope this letter finds you well, I know I promised to contact you only for something of the upmost urgence regarding the resurgence of you know who, but I believe this is appropriately important.

Wormtail is alive. He was the one who caused those muggles to die without reason. Which leaves no question of Padfoot’s innocence.

I don’t know if you have kept up with the wizarding news, but he escaped from Azkaban, and is in a safe and secure location known only by the Order.

I understand if this news is too much for you to digest, but he has asked me personally for your consideration in returning to the place where everything began.

Yours sincerely,

R.J.Lupin’

—

The aftermath of your reading was a mess of shallow breaths and an elevated heart rate.

Panic.

You hadn’t felt so horrible since the day that James and Lily had died, the day one of your closest friends betrayed you and the love of your life was taken away presumably to never be seen again.

And now he was just out there? You were just adjusting to living without him, and now he was being thrust back into your life by his own doing.

He threw you away right before your house of cards toppled, and now he was trying to worm his way back into your life?

It took you almost three weeks of staring at the sheet of parchment before you made a decision, and it ended with the letter going up in flames and you watching on with a sunken expression, no tears left to cry over the man who’d ruined you.

All of those months where you’d pondered, where you’d asked yourself over and over again what might’ve happened if you’d have just not spoken to Sirius that day, if you’d just let him rest like he’d obviously wanted rather than try pathetically to lift his mood.

If it might’ve meant he would regard you as something to live for and stop him from blindly running off to avenge James and Lily without a second thought.

All of it went straight down the drain. Because you could have him back if you wanted. But you didn’t. You didn’t want to go back and see him again because the minute his name invaded your mind all you could think about was that god awful argument and it’s aftermath.

And it ripped you apart every single time.

—

“She’s not coming Pads…” Remus’ hand on Sirius’ shoulder was almost apprehensive as he gave it a soft squeeze.

It was almost three months of having to watch Sirius treat the front door like it was his lifeline, his head turning at the smallest creak of the wood in the fruitless hope that when it opened you would be on the other side.

“I know…” Sirius lets out a small, pathetic laugh as he rakes his fingers through his hair, his facade of indifference threatening to break with every breath he took. “Can’t blame me for trying though right?” His voice betrays his devastation, tone wavering and quiet, cracking when he tries to push it to sound more convicting.

“Pads…”

“I’m fine,” Sirius shakes his head with a dismissive hand, clearing his throat and blinking away the starts of tears from the corners of his eyes. “I’m gonna go get some sleep, gonna need all I can get if we’re gonna fight these sons of bitches hey?” Sirius nudges Remus with his elbow as he plays a characature of his former self, although it’s poorly executed at best.

“Yeah…” Remus consciously suppresses a sympathetic sigh that tries to escape his mouth, pressing his lips together. “Goodnight Pads,”

“G’night Moony,”

—

There’s eighteen months of radio silence before another letter is slotted through your door, and you have half the mind to burn it on sight when the familiar red seal is left face up on your patio tiling, but the handwriting on the back wasn’t Remus’, and it was definitely not Sirius’ either.

The scrawl of your address was almost unmistakably Dumbledore’s, and you were left in an emotional state of uneven limbo as you debated why he of all people would be personally sending you a letter.

Logically, you already knew the reason, but your brain chose to ignore that logic as you ripped the envelope open, only for that denial to be thrown right back at your face once the seal of the Order inked itself into the folded parchment.

You didn’t even need to read the letter to know what was inside it.

Three words.

Invitatio ad arma.

A call to arms.

You barely remember packing your bags, leaving the sense of normalcy you’d built over the past fourteen years to throw yourself back into the line of fire and more devastatingly, right back to Sirius Black.

The train ride to England almost felt like a fever dream, your body left in a state of dissociation where you couldn’t discern whether your actions were real or just a part of some vivid nightmare that you couldn’t wake from no matter how much you tossed and turned.

And by the time you reached the front door of number 12 Grimmauld Place it felt like you were right back where you started, just barely twenty one thrust into a war that could leave you in your grave at any unfortunate minute.

It felt almost foreign to you as you entered, the hallways that once proved to be your substitute home reduced to unfamiliar sights covered in dust and peeling wallpaper. There was no brass lamps to warm the sight, no picture of your closest friends on the wall, not even the mirror that had been hung beside the door had survived, reduced to a half shattered mess that hadn’t been replaced under higher priorities.

“Oh—” The slightly surprised sentiment draws you away from your almost depressing nostalgia, drawn instead towards an almost perfect capture of teenage James Potter, down to the slanted circular glasses sat over his nose bridge.

It’s enough for you to genuinely consider for a second that you’d actually stepped back in time, right into your graduation year when you were all so young and full of hope.

But it couldn’t be James. As much as your heart desperately wished it was.

“You’re another member of the original Order of the Phoenix right?” The boy takes a few steps towards you, wonder still lingering in his eyes despite the film of knowledge that cloud them. Knowledge of just how unfortunately dark the world actually is. “It’s nice to meet you, I’m—”

”Harry…” Your interruption is barely more than a breath of air as you take in the sight of one of your closest friend’s child, a child that he never got to see grow into an almost perfect replica of himself. “You look just like your father…”

There’s a mix of shock and a small amount of sadness in his expression at your statement, and it’s enough for the glimpses of Lily to shine through in his demeanour. “Thank you,”

It’s enough for your eyes to well with tears, and you blink them away with a small clearing of your throat to regain your composure in front of the boy. He didn’t need to see you cry over the fact that he looked like one of your dead friends with the personality of another. That wasn’t fair.

“It’s nice to finally meet you Harry, properly,” You extend your hand almost hesitantly as you introduce yourself, and he takes it graciously in his own with a small sympathetic smile. Being proxy comforted by a teenager, how pathetic.

“It’s nice to meet you too, my parents have good friends,” You give the boy a small nod with a small, sad smile, and he mirrors it himself in turn.

“I’m so sorry, you didn’t deserve any of this,” You let your hand rest on his shoulder, squeezing it lightly in a terrible attempt at consoling the sadness riddling his expression. “You’re just a boy Harry,”

“I know,” He gives a small sigh and a more confident smile, sympathy lingering in the creases of his cheeks in a perfectly Lily fashion. “I’m sorry for your loss too, I know they probably meant a great deal to you,”

“They still do, that’s why I’m here,”

“Thank you,” He sounds more confident in his thanks this time, more determined, and the remnants of his parents continue to show on full display as his focus returns to the reason you’d arrived here in the first place. “We’re about to sit down for dinner, join us?”

“I’ll be there shortly,” You give Harry a small nod and another small squeeze of his shoulder before excusing yourself up the stairs to leave your belongings.

—

“Good evening everyone,” Your voice is taught and awkwardly flat as you push open the door to the dining room, and you stand there with your hands wrung together behind your back as your eyes flicker over the room.

There are so many people that the table is almost entirely too crowded, and a mix of familiar and unfamiliar faces in your presence, although those who do recognise you leave their seats almost immediately to greet you properly.

“It’s good to see you,” Remus reaches you first, wrapping you in a secure hug that you happily return with your own.

“It’s good to see you too, Remus, it’s been too long,”

“Welcome back, we need all of the human shields we can get,” Mad Eye’s reuinionative statement is much less heart felt, but you give him a small laugh and a “Thank you,” nonetheless.

Then there was Sirius. Stood at his chair, not daring to walk into your little bubble under fear of whatever consequences that might come from it.

He looked almost as you remembered him, but he was leaner, more gaunt, his hair more unruly and his skin even more paper-white than the almost impossibly pale complexion of his teenage years.

He was still Sirius, but he was different, and it took less than half a second of eye contact for him to realise that you were different too.

“Welcome back,” His voice is hesitant, almost catching in his throat as his brain catches up to the fact that you’re stood in front of him, less than ten feet away after all of those years he’d spent desperately dreaming of what it would feel like to have you in his arms again.

Now you were here. And you were a stranger.

“Thank you,”

Dinner progresses pretty much how you expected, a mix of awkwardly introducing yourself to the Order’s new members and horrifically failing at avoiding eye contact with Sirius from across the table.

Then the topic of interest moves to the Order’s plans, and things seem to spin into a downwards spiral all too quickly.

“We don’t have enough members to reliably be able to pull this off,” The argument was entirely valid from a logical standpoint, a weakness that quite a few of the Order seemed to have choice opinions about.

“Yeah well we’re not getting any new members are we?” Sirius leans back in his chair exasperatedly. “With the way Fudge is portraying Dumbledore and the lack of official credibility, we’re on our own here, there’s no use in waiting around,”

“I’m inclined to agree, we all know you know who isn’t going to waste any time,

“It’s reckless,” You shake your head with furrowed eyebrows. “We not ready to face something like that head on.”

“We’re never going to be ready,” Sirius shakes his head with a sigh. “We have to take action before he has the chance to build himself back to where he was all those years ago.”

“Sirius is right, we need to do something,” Sirius gestures towards Harry’s response like it’s the final nail in the coffin against your reasoning.

“Harry, sweetheart, I appreciate your enthusiasm but you don’t know the extent of what we’re dealing with,” Your voice is as gentle as it is assertive, not wanting to put him down too much but also wanting to make sure he understood the true extent of what was going on.

“He killed my friend in front of me—”

“And he’s killed dozens of ours,” You shake your head softly but firmly. “Jumping in without a plan is only going to make things worse, trust me.”

He seems more than a little shot down, but he gives you a small nod of understanding nonetheless as he backs down from his standing.

Sirius doesn’t pay you the same mind.

“So you’re suggesting we just wait in hiding for what, forever? We need to act,”

“The last time you ‘acted’, Sirius, you spent twelve years in Azkaban for it.” Your rebuttal holds none of the softness that was present when you were talking to Harry, and you can see it eroding the calcified shield behind Sirius’s eyes.

“That wasn’t my fault,” Sirius presses his teeth together to keep himself from raising his voice, his back straightening alongside his defensiveness. “At least I’m trying to do something, if you don’t want to contribute maybe you shouldn’t be a part of the Order at all,”

“I will not have this argument with you again Sirius!” His chastation seems to finally get under your skin as you rise yourself from your chair with your hands on the dining table, ignorantly ignoring the uncomfortable gazes of everyone else present as you’re forced back into that evening fourteen years go all over again.

“Okay, I think it’s time we called it a night,” Remus, seemingly the only normally functioning person at the table, rises from his chair slowly, taking your shoulders in his hands to guide you away from the group and calm you down.

“Yes right you are Remus,” Molly stands up with a nod that’s almost too enthusiastic clasping her hands together. “Off to bed, all of you,”

You can practically hear the lingering exasperation in Remus’ breathing as he leads you up the stairs and into the room he was staying in, and the second he shut the door behind you you knew what you were in for.

“You need to speak to him.”

“I know,”

“Properly.”

“I know,”

You’re sure the sigh you let out echoes across the house’s first floor, and it’s enough for Remus’ eyes to shift into displaying a concerning amount of sympathy in your direction.

“He misses you, you know,” Remus takes a seat on the edge of his bed with a soft sigh. “He said the thought of seeing you again was the only thing that got him through Azkaban,”

“Yeah well he wouldn’t’ve gone there in the first place if he hadn’t’ve been such a hot-headed twat,” You wouldn’t lie that Remus’ statement didn’t hit you a little where it hurt, but the lingering anger towards Sirius’ situation was clearly still more forefront in your mind.

“It’s a carried trait in all of us ’m‘fraid,” Remus tilts his head knowingly, and you have half the mind to roll your eyes at the clear implication of what he’s saying.

But he isn’t wrong, not really.

“You know where to find him,”

There’s a small moment of silence, then a sigh. “Do I have to?”

“The longer you wait the worse it’ll be,”

Sometimes you hate how logical Remus can be.

With another sigh and a loll of your head, you reluctantly stuff your hands in your pockets and turn towards the bedroom door, muttering a soft—and only half genuine—“thanks,” in his direction as you leave.

The wooden door that barricaded you from the former love of your life felt more like steel than anything else. Tall, dark, and intimidating to the point where you couldn’t even consciously lift your hand to knock against it under the blood rushing behind your ears from how fast your heart was pounding in your ribcage.

It really shouldn’t be so scary, you’d spent weeks, months in that room when you’d originally joined the Order, yet now it felt entirely foreign to you.

Maybe it was the fact that the wood was slowly rotting away with how unkept it was. Maybe it was the knowledge of what—who—was on the other side of it. Or maybe, your mind was just so completely and utterly fucked that the idea of confronting the consequences of your own actions was more nerve-wracking than the idea of standing face to face in a death match with Voldemort himself.

You stand there staring dumbly at the door for almost two minutes, and when it opens your eyes widen like it’s a new form of magic that you’d never encountered.

Sirius halts halfway out the door, arm stretched straight with the doorknob still in hand as his face seems to go through an insurmountable number of emotions in the half-second it takes for him to realise you’re there.

You don’t say anything as you make eye-contact, head immediately ducking downward and stepping aside so that he can leave without you blocking his path, but he just stays there, staring at you like you had been the door, and it was becoming increasingly uncomfortable by the second.

You clear your throat with a feigned cough, pursing your lips together with a muttered “excuse me,” as you turn around to leave, but Sirius catches your wrist in his hand before you even manage to take the first step.

“Wait—” He loosens his grasp almost immediately after he feels a resistance, but his eyes convey just how determined he was to keep you where you were. “Let’s talk, please?”

There’s a hint of desperation in his tone, and you almost crumble on that alone, but you manage to maintain your composure with a small shake of your head and a gentle pull of your wrist from his hand. “I don’t think it’s worth it Sirius, not anymore,”

“Don’t say that, we can fix this,” Sirius mirrors your head shake with his own. “You just need to talk to me,”

“I tried talking to you Sirius, and look where it got us,” You gesture between the two of you with exasperation in your tone.

There’s a small pause where the two of you share and almost identical mask of composure over your agony.

“It just wasn’t meant to be, that’s it,”

“That’s not true,” Sirius shakes his head again, more confidently this time, and his inky black curls bounce against his shoulders like they’re trying to torment you with the memories of your fingers raking through them. “We can fix this, us, we just have to try,”

“I don’t want to argue with you anymore,” You lower your gaze away from his so you don’t have to see the heartbreak in his irises. “Especially not over this…”

“Then don’t, let’s work this out properly, like adults,” He reaches out his hand cautiously towards yours, and you flinch away as your fingers make contact. “Please,”

“Sirius…”

“I’m sorry.” Sirius lets out a heavy, pathetic breath as he retreats his hand to run it through his hair. “I am so sorry. I made the biggest mistake of my life and it cost me the person that I love more than life and I have suffered the consequences of it every day for the last fourteen years.”

Sirius lets his hands fall to his side with a start, voice beginning to tremble under the strain of his emotions as he desperately tries to voice everything that he’d bottled up over the last decade and a half before you leave him to rot in his own depression again. “I spent every hour in Azkaban imagining what it would be like to see you again, to hear your voice, to hold you and tell you that you’re the one thing in this goddamn hell that we live in that actually makes anything worth fighting for,”

The breaths between his words are shallow and weak, and your expression starts to blur as his eyes glass over with the beginnings of tears. “I love you so much, and I’m so— sorry that you had to live through everything I forced on you and I just—“ He takes a sharp, stuttering breath in. “—I need you to know that I will spend the rest of my life devoted to you, to correcting what I’ve done even if you don’t so much as spare me a glance,”

He’s not sure when the tears started running over his eyelids, but he can feel them fall in drops to dapple the ivory skin of his fingers. “And if I die tomorrow, I’ll take whatever punishment hell has to give me so that you can rest easy,”

The end of his rant is echoed by laboured breathing and a horrific attempt at muffling a sob that leaves his throat, bouncing off the walls of the hallway to settle into your muscles as you stand stationary in an astonished silence.

You’re not sure what to say. You’re not sure there’s anything you can say. How on earth are you supposed to respond to something like that? Something so desperate and raw and real?

Sirius Black, after fourteen years of radio silence, still loved you like you’d never parted.

“Sirius…”

And you’d be absolutely damned if you weren’t the same.

“I forgive you…”

It’s like a tsunami of relief ravages Sirius’ body at your words, barely a whisper escaping your mouth but invading his ear canals like a nuclear explosion, and it’s enough for that sliver of composure remaining to erode under the waves of his tears until he’s sobbing into his hands, hunched over with trembling shoulders as he lets everything go all at once.

“I’m so sorry—“

His final apology is doused in so much heartbreak it might as well rip your heart right out of your chest, and your at his side almost immediately, gently pulling his hand from his face to pull his head into your shoulder with a soft shush of consolation.

He clings to you like it’s the last time he’ll ever get the chance to, tears damping the shoulder of your shirt and his arms wrapped so tightly around your torso you’re not sure he intends to ever let go. You’re not sure you’d complain if he didn’t.

That familiar musky scent of cigarettes and faux leather hits your nose once he’s close enough, and that’s where you break too, silent tears streaming down your face as you bury your nose in his hair.

You’re eternally grateful that everyone on this floor of the house is already asleep, either that or just polite enough not to interrupt the two of you out in the hallway, because the state the both of you were in was definitely not meant to be seen by other people.

A desolate, broken side to the two of you only trusted in the company of the other.

“Stay with me tonight, please…” His plea is barely more than a mutter against your shoulder, and you’re sure he wouldn’t even have to ask to know what your answer would be.

And so you find yourself back where you started, tangled up underneath the silky black sheets of Sirius’ bed in the warmth of his embrace, that tiny shard of your heart finally recovered and back in it’s rightful place.

Right where you belong.

[spenglernot]

STORIES TELLING: NED LOWE AND THE DEATH OF POOR REPRESENTATION IN OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH

In history, Ned Lowe was one of the most sadistic and violent pirates in the early 18th century, so he’s an obvious choice for a villain for season 2, episode 6 – Calypso’s Birthday.  What is interesting is what the OFMD writers chose to do with him.

Lowe announces himself to the crew of the Revenge with great fanfare (cannon ball attack) and gets right to the point.

Ed is thoroughly unimpressed.

Cut to Ed and Stede tied up while Ned attempts to set the mood so he can monologue about why he wants to kill Ed.

Ed knows what’s coming. He is going to suffer but he still can’t be arsed to meet Ned with anything but vaguely bored dismissiveness (and Stede is happy to play along).

Up on the deck, Ned prepares the crew for his big, dramatic moment of symphonic torture.

Note that the Revenge crew is tied down, braced by vices and generally unable to protect themselves from imminent torture and possible death, but their spirits are up. They don’t seem terribly fussed.

Then Stede uses his people positive management style to happily orchestrate a worker uprising in Ned’s crew.

Ned’s crew responds instantly; severing their allegiance to Lowe and telling him off.

The crew sails away and talks profit sharing while Ned dully threatens to hunt them down.

Ned is now a prisoner of the Revenge crew and seems entirely disinterested in his own survival.

And Ned sinks to the depths, without struggling at all.

There is a lot going on in this episode: pay and labor equity direct action, gay love engagement bliss, kink humor, Stede being a hero and saving his crew by playing to his strengths, then having to decide whether to kill in cold blood and feel the consequences of that choice. Ed having one more reason to be done with piracy (while being so impressed with and fond of Stede), and then watching his man make a fraught choice and having to deal with the fallout from that. (And, damn, I haven’t even mentioned the passionate sex bit.) Anyway, back to the point.

Now for the the meta part

The Ned Lowe sequences are perfectly in keeping with OFMD’s signature blend of madcap violence, humor, and big emotional gut punches. But something about Ned Lowe just strikes me as off for this show.

Ned is seriously threatening the crews’ lives, so why don’t they take him seriously?

Why does Ned have such a boring, throwaway backstory?

Why is Ned so nonchalant about his own death; like it’s a foregone conclusion?

Why does Ned have a silver violin and silver spurs on his slip-on dress shoes?

Why is Ned sartorially monochromatic?

And then I realized who Ned reminds me of.

This guy,

Earnst Stavro Blofeld in the James Bond film Diamonds are Forever (1971)

And this guy,

Scar in Disney's The Lion King (1994).

And this guy,

Xerxes, 300 (2006).

And it sure seems like Ned Lowe isn’t just an episodic villain. He is an archetype of the one-dimensional, stereotypical queer-coded villain that has been endemic in film and television throughout history. The OFMD writers have a lot to say about what to do with this kind of character:

Don’t respect him.

Feel free to openly mock him.

Don’t let him take your joy, even though he will hurt you.

He won’t disappear on his own. You have to throw something at him (take action) to make him go away.

Once he’s in the water, he’s content to drown. He’s not into what he’s doing any more than you are.

Oh and, just to be clear,

The LGBTQIA+ community has a very long history of turning shit media into better stories. So, hey, big media, prepare to have your crap characters wrecked (improved).

Now, back to our transformative pirate show with rich, complex queer characters and a multi-layered plot that surprises me every week and makes me feel big feelings - most of all, joy.

Final thought: I do wonder if Ned Lowe is monochromatically silver as a tribute to/poke at, Hollywood and the silver screen.

This meta was written before OFMD season 2 has fully aired. No idea what’s going to happen in the finale (and I’ve generally fled social media to avoid spoilers). I’ll be back, looking at everyone’s fascinating posts after episode 8 airs.

[yamujiburo]

Why do you say that James has softened since season 20? Have you forgotten his gentle behavior in the early seasons? What about the time he caught Chimecho? James was so sweet in the early seasons too. It's actually Jessie who became gentler from season 20 onwards. In fact, Megumi Hayashibara herself explained in her book that she requested this change.

When I say early I do mostly mean OS. James was always much kinder and gentler than Jessie. Like I said, his change was GRADUAL. He started softening up around those AG seasons BUUUT he would still talk back to Jessie, frequently take jabs at her and other people and make vain comments about himself. A lot of that was lost during DP, was completely gone by BW (but for other, obvious reasons), and then I'd say SM is kinda where you notice the hard pivot

And yes! This is the Megumi Hayashibara request I mentioned in my last post

[sthavoc]

enzo with a girl who loves to read <3 she loves books like crime and punishment, dorian gray, on earth we're briefly gorgeous, etc... she's just such a bookworm and he loves it and is always seen with a book now because of her and he talks about her sometimes to like she recommended a book to him etc...

༼ ；📚 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐒 | ENZO VOGRINCIC

·˚ ༘ pairing: enzo x fem!bookworm!reader

·˚ ༘ summary: headcanons of how you got enzo into reading and him talking about your love for books.

·˚ ༘ warnings: fluff and admiration

·˚ ༘ note: I’m not rlly a big reader but I tried my best. I hope you enjoy! this one is a small blurb

☆ You have always had a love for books, mostly novels, no one could ever catch you without a book in your hands. That’s how Enzo met you. A book in hands and with the same admiration of the words that captured your attention.

“¿Quien es la nena que está con el libro?”

☆ Even the first gift Enzo ever got you was a book, a classic, The Pictures of Dorian Gray. You had already read the book, but you never got the chance to buy your own copy, and of course, after you mentioned it to Enzo he picked up on it and made sure to gift it to you.

“Te brillan los ojitos al leer, entonces te lo compré.”

It was also that the man knew how much you wanted it.

☆ And after months of dating you he even began to get curious as to why, why did you like reading so much? And so he once came up to you in bed while you had a few candles on and was reading a new book that you had just started, titled The Black Tulip. His question made you go on a rant for hours and after he had gotten his answer he began to simply nod along so you could continue talking, and only because he loved the sound of your voice.

After you finished you let him borrow two of your favorites, On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous and Crime and Punishment. You were always very careful with your books and would never let anyone borrow them since you feared they would wrinkle the pages or spill something on them, but it was Enzo. You knew he was temperate with his things so he wouldn’t do anything to yours.

☆ After he read the books he understood why you loved them so much. The intrigued of not knowing what could happen next, the way the writer inked their pages, the prompt. The way the words made your heart sink, stop, have you at the edge of your seat. It was amazing.

He even started to read too, during his free time.

☆ When pictures of him would appear on the media, he would carry a book or would be reading one. He seemed at piece just like you would be.

“Look at Enzo reading a book just like his girlfriend. what a bookworm he is now.”

It was true, he had begun to buy books of his own, sometimes your recommendations, one of them being In a Shallow Grave by James Purdy.

☆ In one of the podcasts they brought up the question of, what does he do during his free time? And his answer was the obvious—

“Bueno ya llevo rato que me gusta leer. A mi novia le fascinan los libros entonces me prestó unos y los empecé a leer. Ahora llevo uno conmigo a todos lados.”

☆ Also when he speaks about you he does it in a way of admiration. He is so dedicated when somebody brings you up or mentions you. It’s like his favorite question, anything that involves you he loves.

“Se me hace tierno que le fascinen tanto los libros. Ya hasta me los recomienda, se pone muy contenta con el tema.“

☆ You were like his book, the way you would get excited to talk about them, he would get excited to talk about you. You were his reason for excitement. You were his ink on paper.

[wordsarelife]

DAY 7: PLEASE COME HOME FOR CHRISTMAS

pairing: regulus black x fem!potter!reader

summary: when everything gets too bad, regulus has to place to stay. james isn’t happy about that though.

warnings: mention of a bad home life

note: this was so fun to write hehe!!

you had told him to come home to you if it would get too bad. he had said no many times, just like you had repeated your offer. you wanted him to know that he was welcome. and if you had to say it to him every day, you would. you knew regulus had too much pride to take your help. he loved you and he wanted to keep you out of his problems.

the relationship to you was different to everything he had ever had in his life before. he didn't want to ruin it.

you were calm and a total sunshine, you didn't belong in a world full of death and fear. you didn't belong in his world. he knew that. but he still couldn't keep away from you. so he tried to hide most of his home life from your sight.

which was harder than he had anticipated, considering his brother was living with you now. seemed like james had made him the same offer.

one evening on which you repeated the offer, he had looked at you concerned. "don't do that" he had said "that hero complex will get you killed someday" he had brushed through your hair "it's not wise to help people like sirius and i in a world where humans are killing for all the wrong reasons"

he didn't want to talk about anything else after that so you had just watched him drift to sleep, wondering which horrible things were plaguing his mind.

then came the christmas holidays and you had to split up. you tried everything to convinve him, but he wouldn't budge, never giving you another reason than what he had said to you that night.

it was christmas eve, when the doorbell rang and james went to get it. "black?" he asked confused, when he was met with a crumpled version of his best friends younger brother "what in the world are you doing here?"

regulus ignored the question "is y/n home?" he asked instead. you had walked out of your room when you heard the doorbell and when you heard his voice, you had immediately started walking down the stairs.

"reggie" you said concerned. before anyone could say another word, you gently pushed james out of the way and hugged your boyfriend. you knew that something had to be really wrong for him to show up here.

“they found the letters” regulus whispered “they made me choose, i didn’t know what do to”

“it’s alright” you said, trying to comfort him.

"what the fuck?" james asked. he was still standing beside you both while neither one even acknowledged his presence. he pulled you back by your shoulder. “what is going on?”

“regulus needs to stay” you simply said, without taking your eyes from the boy. you had never seen him cry before, but there were evident tear stains on his cheeks.

“what?” james asked, acting like he hadn’t understood you “why do you even know each other?”

“we’re dating” you turned your head to look at your brother “can we go in now?”

james was so stunned from the new information that he didn’t even protest when you gently walked regulus into the house. he quickly gathered back his consciousness though. he closed the door and was hot on your heels. “i’m not sure mum would allow this”

“are you kidding me right now?” you pointed to the couch for regulus to sit down. then you walked back to james, talking to him in a harsh whisper “you brought sirius here and he was allowed to stay, why wouldn’t regulus be?”

“because sirius isn’t my boyfriend?” james asked like it was obvious, why your situation was different to his.

“close to it, no?” you crossed your arms in frustration “look at him, james” and james did just that “he has nowhere else to go. i offered him a million times to stay with us and he always said no, there must be something very wrong for him to show up here. you know how they are, you know it better than me, i only know a few things and it’s bad enough”

james eyes softened as he looked between you and the boy. “you love him, don’t you?” he asked and you nodded your head.

“don’t make him leave” you pleaded “i’d do anything”

you knew james acted like that to protect you. he didn’t know regulus as well as you did. only the things sirius had told him and his younger brother was far from a hero in that.

“let me help him” you pleaded once again, because james didn’t answer you.

james knew that the blacks were horrible and he knew that you had the same right to help someone close to you as he did.

“okay” he nodded, hugging you. you sighed in relief. james watched as you darted across the room, kneeling in front of regulus. you spoke to him fast, and he smiled softly at you. james knew in that moment, that regulus felt the same for you as you did for him.

“was that my package?” a voice from the door asked. james looked towards the entry of the living room and saw sirius, munching on a rather gigantic sandwich.

“no” james said “but i think it somewhat belongs to you”

sirius looked at the couch and his eyes grew big. you had sat down beside regulus and were gently rubbing his back, while his head was laying on your shoulder.

“whoa” sirius just said and made both you and regulus look up “seems like someone else has inherited that potter hero complex. they’re always trying to save us, aren’t they, reggie?”

regulus smiled at you “i’m glad they are”

you smiled back and all was well. “at least we’re together for christmas now” you whispered to him. and it took a moment but then he smiled, a big toothy grin and he looked more like himself again.

taglist: @twistedhistory @bakingintheshire @mqstermindswift @taygrls @athenalikethegoddess @lovemelikecrazyiloveyoucrazy @neewtmas @ahead-fullofdreams

[izels-writing]

s. black — august

Tagged; @urbansaint

Pairing: sirius black x fem!slytherin!french!reader

Summary: you and sirius spent most of august together.

Warnings: slightly ooc sirius, a little drama but they’re teens so😝, harassment (brief), slight enemies to lovers if u squint real hard, a bit rushed i apologize, brief mention of france so i apologize i forgot that was part of the request, also i didn’t put regulus and sirius making up in this bc it was already long asf my bad

you hated sirius black. with a passion. not for any unknown reason—no, you had every right to hate him. even his friends knew it. and you were nothing if not stubborn. you'd never admit someone could get under you skin, but he absolutely could.

to understand why you hated sirius, first you had to understand what lead to this in the first place—starting at the beginning.

after a two-week vacation in your parents home town, bordeaux, france, you were very happy to be home. it wasn't that you hated your extended family, but you certainly enjoyed the comfort of your own bed as opposed to the old mattress that your older cousin no longer used.

living beside the potters was fun, if you could believe. you and your parents got along amazingly with the potters, despite you and james' teasing rivalry. you both never meant anything by it, but it was a fun inside joke—even if you hardly acknowledged each other at school.

placing your book down, you glanced up through your bedroom window, peering inside james' bedroom curiously. adding to the rivalry, your bedrooms faced each other—which was funnier than you both cared to admit.

you spotted a tall, though shorter than james, lean boy with handsome features and beautiful black hair. immediately, when he turned around, you recognized it to be sirius black—james' best friend. you knew seldom of sirius' home situation, but knew enough to know that the potters were his safe haven.

unfortunately, a week into the summer, before you left for france—sirius showed up to you and james' movie night, bleeding and crying hysterically from whatever had happened at his home. james helped him get changed while you made them tea and you quickly left, knowing it was not your place to stay. since then, sirius had spoken to you and apologized for the intrusion—but you knew he had nothing to be sorry for. it wasn't his fault.

since you had gotten home, you had gotten yourselves into a bit of a tedious situation.

one night, before the beginning of august, he had trouble sleeping and he had signaled to you through your bedroom window (given he knew what a night owl you were) that he was bored. though you felt you shouldn't have, given your parents no boys rule, you invited him over through your window. he had stayed up with you for a few hours, you two talking about anything and everything that came to mind.

and then, it became a nightly occurrence. you both thought james had no idea, given his habit of sleeping at 9:30 pm sharp, and if he did, he never made it obvious. every night, at 11 pm, he'd climb out of james' window and into yours.

and eventually, given the intimacy of those shared late nights, you grew an attraction to one another. one that did not go left unsaid.

you pulled away from your kiss, pushing sirius' hair out of his face. he was under you, with you straddling his torso as he lied on your bed. his lips were a red shade, from the bruising kissing you two had been engaged in. he tried to pull you in again with a smirk, but you chuckled and pulled away again. you stared into his eyes.

"we're going back to school soon, you know that right?" you asked. he groaned.

"don't remind me," he whined. he pulled you in for another kiss, pulling your hips down onto his. you hummed happily into the kiss but pulled back again.

"so, i know it may be too early to decide this, but we've got to figure out how to explain it you know?" you replied. his side wasn't so much a problem, but you were already a pariah in the slytherin house—given your indifference to pureblood status—you didn't exactly want to seem like the weird girl who sneaks around with a gryffindor.

sirius furrowed his eyebrows. "what're you talking about?"

he sat up as you situated yourself on his lap. he gave you a confused look and you shyly explained, "well, people are gonna ask questions—i feel like we should be on the same page about this, whatever this is,"

"yeah, well it's simple, no one will know," sirius shrugged. he tried to lean into to kiss you again, but you pulled away, sliding off of his lap.

"what do you mean no one will know?" you questioned, your blood running cold as he looked at you.

"i mean we'll keep it a secret, no one should know and frankly i don't want to tell anyone," he said casually.

you blinked at him. "and why not?"

he chuckled, trying to ease the growing tension. "y/n, you and i can't be seen together, you and i both know that..."

"what're you on about?" you asked, narrowing your eyes slightly at the boy.

"well, you know you're a...slytherin, you know? i can't be seen with you, your house is what i've been trying to escape my whole life..." he said dumbfounded.

you felt your heart drop as you chuckled humorlessly, you stood up and paced the room, "i don't believe this..."

frankly, hearing this made you wish you had never met him into your room in the first place.

"what? y/n, come on, you can't be that way... you know what my families like, and they're all slytherins, what'll people say when they see me with you? after running away? it's laughable!"

your blood boiled. "how can you sit there and say that? so what, i'm shameful to be with? not all slytherins are the same, just because your family is from that house and they're dickwads—it doesn't mean the same for the rest of us!" you said angrily.

"i can't believe you're overreacting about this! it's just not the right time! i ran away from my family, to be with a real loving family, to what? be associated with another slytherin? i've worked so hard to be separated from that house, from that family, i'm sorry but i won't go back—not for anyone. you can't sit here and tell me that everyone from that house isn't exactly like my family!" sirius replied angrily. he stood from your bed as he yelled and you felt your heart twist, staring up at him with fury.

"you know, you sit here and talk about how terrible your family is and how much you hate them and never want to be like them," you spat. "but you are exactly like them!"

"you judge people, you act like you're better than everyone because of who you are or what house your from, and you are a coward and cruel!" you spat angrily, lip quivering. "get out!"

sirius' expression changed. he was angry. he was hurt. more importantly, he felt like you had just plunged a deep knife into his heart and twisted. but most of all, he looked numb.

"you know what? i will leave, i may be a coward, but i would've never said to you what you just said to me," he spat. he climbed out of the window, leaving quickly and quickly going into his own home.

you watched angrily as he did, unfortunately still caring that he made it inside safely, and closed your window and curtain.

you couldn't believe he had made you feel so stupid...

———

months had passed since you and sirius' huge fight. since then, you'd hardly spoken to each other—and if you did, it wasn't very kind exchanges. your interactions were filled with glares and sarcasm and irritability with each other—and james was left more than confused how something so gentle could change into something so angry overnight.

nonetheless, you did your best to avoid each other at school. did you miss your late night talks with him? your late night eating sessions? most of all, your late night arts and crafts? of course, but he had shown you who he really was. you didn't need to miss someone like that. ( and honestly, it had become really clear how boring you two were together—but those nights were the funnest nights of your life. )

"hey, y/n," pandora burke sighed, throwing herself in the seat in front of you in the great hall. you looked up at your friend and smiled slightly, "hey, dora," you replied.

soon enough, evan rosier joined you both—quickly accompanied by regulus black. you were close with pandora for a long time, but not so much regulus and evan until this year. pandora, who was the only one to know about your fling, attributed the newfound friendship with the younger black brother as a subtle way to get back at sirius—whether it was or not, you certainly enjoyed regulus' company since he matured as a person—and you had to admit, the angry and infuriated look on sirius' face when you laughed with his brother was priceless.

you glanced up from your cereal as evan talked happily about the new spell he had learned to mess with gryffindors, finding grey eyes looming over you as you ate. you flared at sirius, finding he more than returned the favor.

"hello? y/n? why aren't you listening to me? can you stop eye-fucking regulus' brother for one second and listen to me?" evan said loudly, turning a few heads. thankfully, plenty were afraid of regulus that when he glared at them to mind their business, they did just that.

"i am not," you seethed.

"you kind of are," pandora added sheepishly.

"leave her alone," regulus sighed. "he was staring at her,"

"that fucking asswipe, i don't understand what's so interesting about me eating my cereal?" you scoffed, turning to regulus dumbfounded.

regulus shrugged. "maybe he thinks you're pretty,"

"probably," pandora smirked, eyeing you subtly.

"i know i'm pretty, i don't need his validation," you spat—glaring at the boy who had promptly turned to join in with lupin and pettigrews conversation.

you turned to regulus and smiled nonetheless, "but thanks, reg," you grinned, hitting his side playfully.

"whatever, we should go...we have divination soon," regulus muttered.

"you don't even like that class," evan said.

"yeah, but i do, and reggie is my mini me, let's get on with it, reg," you grinned, pulling regulus up with you. bidding a goodbye to your friends, you and regulus left the great hall arm-in-arm—unbeknownst to both of you, a pair of grey eyes watched you both angrily as you left.

——

potions was a hard enough class as it was, given your head of house taught it and expected perfection from his students. it was even harder when slughorn had no sense of social cues and decided to pair you and sirius up today to complete a potion.

frankly, you couldn't put all the blame on slughorn. if sirius and james weren't acting like such idiots, then you and pandora wouldn't have gotten separated to be paired with them.

"can you at least pretend like you're interested?" you hissed at the boy who had put his hair up in a makeshift bun and kicked his feet up on the table. you swatted his feet to the ground, glaring angrily at him.

"why should i? you're just gonna do what you when you want to anyway," sirius spat back.

you rolled your eyes. you nodded at the wooden spoon, "hand me that, you twat," you sneered. with ab annoyed huff, sirius grabbed the spoon and placed it softly in your hand. his fingertips brushed against your palm and for a second, it felt like that comforting feeling of you two back in your room—hands intertwined under covers and lips locked passionately.

he pulled his hand away promptly as you stared at the cauldron, trying to snap your common sense back into place. you acted unbothered by the hand touch and resumed your potion making, a subtle scowl printed on your lips.

you turned to sirius, glancing down at your textbook before looking at him. "bring me the rat's heart," you said sternly. with an exaggerated, annoyed sigh—sirius stood quickly and made his way over, picking up a small jar of the rats heart and ambling over, placing it gingerly in your hand.

"anything else, your highness?" he asked sarcastically.

you glared at him. "no, that'll be all, thank you," you spat back.

——

after class, you went to the library to try and get homework done. as much as you loved pandora, you were easily distracted by her and you would really like to turn your stuff in on time.

unfortunately for you, goyle had other plans. he was some persistent 5th year who had a thing for you, which would be fine, if he wasn't a downright creep about it. you didn't even know the boys first name, that's how irritating he was to you.

"come on, i'll bet I'll give you the best night of your life," goyle whispered to you, trying his hardest to seduce you it seemed. you rolled your eyes.

"leave me alone, i don't want any nights with you," you sneered, shoving a book into its shelf and attempting to walk off.

nonetheless, the boy persisted. "you're playing hard to get," he chuckled.

"or maybe you're not worth my time," you scoffed.

his face twisted angrily as he tripped to grip your hip. "don't talk to me like that," he said angrily.

"get your hands off of me!" you spat, throwing his hand off.

"i ought to—" goyle began.

"get the bloody hell off of her," sirius spat, shoving goyle away from you. "when a girl tells you no, she means no,"

"whatever, you're a slag anyway," goyle spat at you before walking off. sirius almost went after him, but you grabbed his arm as you watch goyle leave.

"don't worry about it, thanks," you said nonchalantly.

he nodded at you, "any time, n/n,"

both of your eyes widened, as you both remembered the exact times he'd call you that nickname. you cleared your throat and walked off, leaving him standing there blankly before he eventually walked off.

you turned the corner, bringing your back to the shelf, and took a deep breath. why did he have to keep reminding you?

——

parties were debatable to you. a part of you liked the music and the dancing, and most certainly the drinking. another part of you hated to be around that many people at one time. however, you'd do it for james.

gryffindor had just won their game against ravenclaw, and james begged you to come to the party. it was rare you two actually spoke to you at school, but when you did talk—it was usually to ask for each others support.

you entered the gryffindor common room, your little black dress wrapped around your body in all the right places and your heels heightened you just enough that it made your legs look longer. you pulled off your cardigan, draping it over the couch that sat near the fireplace.

you quickly joined your friends marlene and dorcas on the dance floor—you, james, and marlene had grown up together as neighbors. so though you weren't as close anymore, you still considered each other friends.

"hey babe," marlene grinned, running over to hug you. dorcas smiled and did the same, greeting you quietly.

"hey marls, where's james?" you asked, looking around for your tall, messy-haired friend.

"uh...oh! doing shots over there with sirius, remus, and peter!" she replied, pointing over to the four boys. you smiled and the three of you made your way over.

"congrats james!" you and marlene exclaimed, running up to hug him. he smiled and kissed both of your heads.

"guys, these are my sisters! i love them so much!" he slurred, pulling you and marlene close. the other boys and dorcas laughed, while you and marlene chuckled. thankfully, james had showered before the party.

the rest of them quickly ran off to the dance floor, leaving you and sirius standing there watching them. you poured yourself a cup of beer, taking a small sip.

"you look great, n/n," sirius smiled. his cheeks were a bit flushed, but above all else, he looked sober.

"how drunk are you right now?" you asked, surveying him closely.

"never mind," he said promptly before attempting to walk off. you grabbed his forearm swiftly and smiled slightly.

"thanks," you said simply. he grinned at you, before walking off into the dance floor. he was most definitely drunk.

as the party progressed, you managed to be the only one to stay sober. every one of your friends was hammered, leaving you to babysit the group. thankfully, they weren't blackout.

"alright, here you both go," you grunted as you set peter down in his bed and remus on the one beside it. truthfully, you didn't know which was who's bed, but you knew if you didn't get them to sleep now—it wouldn't end well.

they muttered a thanks to you before the snores quickly began. you laughed it off, before walking over to james where he lied on what you presumed was his bed. he was sound asleep thankfully, so you swiftly removed his glasses and placed it on his dresser.

marlene and dorcas had already been put to bed, with the help of lily, who had bid you a quick good night as she went to babysit the two of them.

with a sigh, you went back downstairs to your last caretakee of the night. sirius, though you disliked him, couldn't be the only one you didn't put to bed. you sighed and crouched in front of him, being sure to cover your knees with your dress.

"sirius, it's time to go to bed," you said.

"no, i want to party!" he exclaimed through his closed eyes, pumping his fist in the air.

"yeah, there's a party in your bed, come on," you tried. then you scrunched your nose, "that sounded so wrong,"

he giggled. "you're funny,"

"it's one of my many talents," you replied. then, you stood and offered him a hand. he sighed and took it, standing up and stumbling slightly.

you allowed him to support his weight on you, despite the height difference, and you both stumbled over to the stairs. you took a few steps before he groaned.

"stop, stop, i'm going to throw up," he groaned. you quickly let him sit down, sitting beside him promptly. you waited patiently as he took a few deep breaths.

you both sat there in silence. you used to talk all the time, but now this is what your interactions consisted of. pure silence. it was a miracle he was drunk now, at least that would explain it this time.

he looked at you. "you know, you do look pretty today, beautiful even,"

"you're drunk," you rolled your eyes. "you wouldn't be saying it otherwise," you said—turning to look at him as well.

"i think it all the time, did you know that, miss know-it-all?," he chuckled. "you're captivating,"

you rolled your eyes. "alright, charmer, are you actually nauseous or did you just want to talk my ear off all night?"

"i dunno, i used to do it all the time, remember? i miss it..." he mumbled.

"yeah, well, that's not exactly on me," you muttered, loud enough so he could hear it.

sirius took a deep breath, looking at you with sorrow-filled eyes. "it was the biggest mistake i've ever made, y/n,"

you looked at him softly.

"i mean, you understood me. you didn't care what baggage i had. sleeping beside you that summer was the first time i'd gotten real sleep in a long time," he admitted. "you made me feel safe... the way you'd laugh, the way you'd touch me, all of it,"

he's drunk. he's drunk. he's drunk. he's drunk. you repeated to yourself over and over. despite the feeling of your chest being ripped apart, you knew he couldn't actually mean it. yes, you loved him—more than you ever wanted to admit. but he didn't feel the same, he had showed you that much.

"let's get you to bed," you whispered. comfortingly, you grabbed his forearm and helped him up.

he followed you up the stairs, before quickly entering his dorm with him. you laid him gently on his bed, sliding his shoes off. he looked relieved that you were there, despite everything in your body telling you to just leave. he had hurt you before, he was cruel—so why were you still helping him?

you noticed him close his eyes and you turned to leave, but he sat up and grabbed your hand. you turned to him.

"i still get nightmares, especially after we broke up," he admitted. you knew about these. they were scary and heart wrenching to watch him experience. you couldn't imagine actually having them.

"will you stay until i fall asleep?" he whispered softly.

every logical part of you was screaming no. telling you to leave and not look back. but the part of you that cared—that loved him, was begging you to stay.

and unfortunately, that part that was begging won.

"yeah, sure," you whispered. you sat beside him on his bed. you folded your legs to the side and held his hand tightly as he closed his eyes.

within minutes he was asleep.

you admired him quietly as he slept. his chest rising and falling, his perfect features relaxed in a perfect way. a part of you could stay like this, watching him, forever.

but then another part of you remembered what he said—and you knew he'd never feel for you what you felt for him.

with a frown, you slowly let go of his hand and stood up—making your way quickly out of his dorm. silently, you made your way back to the slytherin dungeons, trying to ignore your heartbreak.

——

a week had passed since your incident with sirius. you had hardly spoken to him and he agreed with you it seemed—because he hasn't talked to you much either. sure, there was a snarky comment here and there, but other than that, you two managed to stay your separate ways.

you chuckled quietly, shaking your head as evan and regulus argued playfully. pandora sat beside you, rolling her eyes at the two.

lunch was soon ending, leaving you and evan to have to separate from pandora and regulus soon. you two shared a herbology class, despite him being a year younger than you. he was rather smart, doubling up in certain classes to finish them easier.

"bye, you guys," you chuckled, as you and evan walked side-by-side toward the greenhouses. you quickly pulled your emerald green tie out of your bag, tying it around you neck swiftly.

you and evan linked arms after, continuing your way to class. if it was one thing you two had, it was the ability to talk about anything and everything that had little to no importance.

"yeah, and then i told my dad—" evan began.

"y/n!" a familiar, now sober voice called out. sirius quickly walked over, as you and evan stopped and turned around. evan gave you an alarmed look but you looked at sirius.

"sirius?" you questioned as he finally caught up to the two of you.

"can i talk to you?" he mumbled.

"about?" you asked, crossing your arms.

"it's important," he assured. "please,"

you rolled your eyes. "fine, what is it?"

he looked over at evan sternly. "leave?"

you stepped in front of evan protectively. he and regulus really did feel like younger brothers to you, now that you thought about it. "don't talk to him that way," you interjected—narrowing your eyes at sirius.

"i'm fine, evan, i'll catch up to you," you said, glancing at evan before looking at sirius pointedly. evan grinned.

"i listen to her because i want to, not because of you," he told sirius pointedly. sirius rolled his eyes as evan laughed and walked off.

you looked at sirius with your arms crossed. "well?"

sirius stood in front of you awkwardly, finding it seemingly difficult to look you in the eyes. "uh, i remembered today what i did,"

you stared at him, urging him to continue. you had no idea what the fuck he was talking about.

"that night at the gryffindor victory party," he added, finally mustering the courage to look you in the eye.

you shifted uncomfortably. "look, we don't have to talk about it—"

he nodded, "yes we do,"

"no, we really don't—"

"well i want to," he said sternly.

"i wasn't lying that day, yes i was drunk, but i meant it, every word of it. the way you make me feel, how safe you feel, everything..." sirius said. "pushing you away was the biggest mistake of my life, i should've never been such a coward,"

"except you didn't just push me away, you said cruel things," you replied. "sirius, you don't get to just drop that bomb on my life after destroying my feelings and expect immediate forgiveness! what you said hurt, it stung even!"

"you made me feel ashamed!" you added, hurt lacing your tone. "do you think i dealt with that easily? i fancied you, and you made me feel like i wasn't worthy of being near you. do you know how that feels?"

sirius pushed your strands of hair behind your ears, cupping your face. "and believe me, i will spend my entire life earning your forgiveness. you were never the embarrassment, i was. i'm so sorry, y/n,"

suddenly, like something had possessed you, you kissed him swiftly. you didn't know you could miss someone's touch so much.

he quickly kissed back. you pulled away.

"you still have to earn that forgiveness," you breathed out, "but this...is a good start,"

he grinned. "believe me, i will work my entire life if i have to," he chuckled, pulling you in for a tight, bone-crushing hug. one that you had missed for months now.

"believe me, i won't make it easy," you smirked.

bonus;

"do you have one in green?" you asked your husbands coworker. you were at a work party and they was handing out party bags, which everyone decided to match to their house while attending hogwarts.

your husbands coworker snorted. "what're you? a slytherin?"

you blinked at him, crossing your arms. "as a matter of fact, i am, problem?"

sirius slid his arm around your waist, kissing your head. "no problem, right alexander? my wife's a proud slytherin, no big deal," he shrugged.

alexander cleared his throat and his cheeks tinted pink. "no, of course not. here's a green one," he mumbled. you took it and he walked off, clearly embarrassed.

you turned to sirius with a smile, leaning in close. "thank you for defending my honor," you chuckled.

"well, anything for my wife," he laughed, kissing you softly.

[weasleykisses]

You’re So Pretty IV (Remus x Reader)

You’re So Pretty IV

A/N: final chapter to the series. Happy ending bc I’m a sucker for love. You and Remus are desperately in love with each other, and it was only a matter of time before someone said something. *Not edited*

Might write a Sirius alternate ending to this if I get the inspiration.

Word count: 6.1k

________

Y/N had been a bit down in the dumps since Remus ran away from her after sharing another one of their little moments together. She just couldn’t understand why he was always running away. He wasn’t the most outspoken or extroverted of the group, but surely he felt comfortable around her. They were best friends.

When they studied together, she tried her best to act normal, like his behavior wasn’t killing her inside. She was frustrated with him, for how indecisive he was acting and how he kept tugging at her heart string just to let them go without warning. She talked to him at meals like normal, and shared her desk with him in classes they shared, but things felt so strange.

Her heart beat so swiftly when he was around she thought she might have a heart attack when their hands skimmed over each other’s or when his eyes lingered just a bit too long on her. She even felt flustered when he offered to share his textbook in Charms, something completely normal for the two of them any other time.

This was becoming ridiculous, really.

She didn’t tell the other girls why she cuddled a particular sweater of hers when she laid in bed, terribly worried about her relationship with the boy who used to wear it. She certainly didn’t say it was because it was laced with the scent of Remus Lupin. It had been his until he gave it to her on a snowy cold day in Hogsmeade.

She dreaded the day it might lose his smell and lose his touch, then she’d have to find something else of his to latch onto.

It would just be another reason for the girls to joke about how she fancied him. She never admitted it to them, refusing each time they brought it up. Yet, they persisted as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. She felt hopeless against the onslaught of suggestive looks they gave her when she was around the boy. She couldn’t even study with him without one of the girls suggesting she was going to spend the whole time staring at his ‘cute’ face.

It was nights like these, quiet ones with just the girls, when she felt the most vulnerable to their jokes. In the privacy of their own dorm, anything they said could be kept secret, just between the four of them. There was no way any of them would let the sensitive information slip out of that room.

Marlene would stay up at night gossiping about boys despite her obviously having a crush on Dorcas. Y/N never said anything about it. That was something she had to figure out on her own terms. Still Y/N found it adorable whenever Marlene would look at the other girl with starry eyes.

Beside her, Dorcas would sit braiding Marlene’s golden hair into intricate plaits for the next day. Lily would be up finishing her homework but chiming in whenever Potter was mentioned. Always the bookworm with a bit of an adventurous streak coming from James Potter’s everlasting crush on her.

Finally, a sweet Y/N laid in her bed staring at the ceiling with that sweater clutched to her chest, listening to the gossip her friends passed around. She would chime it sometimes, gushing about the boy she fancied. Talking about how he made her smile and laugh so much her cheeks would be sore. Talking about the way he was the perfect guy, personality and looks wise. She loved talking about that special someone. It made her heart race and her cheeks burn with passion.

That special someone was obviously Remus Lupin, even if she never specifically said so. Tonight, however, she wasn’t so cheery about her crush, in fact, she was rather quiet. The other girls talked freely amongst themselves while she kept silent in her bed, just pondering what she was to do about everything.

“I just wish Sirius would quit fooling around and ask me out,” Marlene groaned. “He’s so hot, I get dizzy just being around him sometimes.”

“You said that about Thomas Brookstone last week,” Dorcas teased, rolling her eyes at the incredibly flaky nature of her best friend. She finished her long plaits and moved on to the large curler she used on her bangs. Y/N was always a bit jealous of Marlene and her golden blond hair, hanging to her middle back and sparkling in the sunshine.

Marlene was quick to defend herself, “It was a moment of weakness; you know my heart belongs to Sirius Black.” Yeah, right. Sirius was cute, for sure, but he wasn’t boyfriend material.

Y/N loved Sirius. He was a great friend, albeit a bit too flirty at times. He was charming and she could understand why Marlene would fall for him. Just like she could tell why Lily had taken a liking to James even if she denied it adamantly. Y/N thought James was just as swell as Sirius, being some of her closest friends outside the girls’ group.

She listened silently to her friends bicker on about crushes, Sirius and James, some talk of Dorcas potentially dating Peter, those kinda things. Nothing too important.

With a frustrated frown, she stared up at the canopy of her bed, her eyes trailing along the gold embroidery against the red velvet. It was dreadfully stressful. She felt completely sucked into her own little world, her heart beating steadily in her chest.

She brought the sweater up to her face and sighed at the scent, as if Remus was there laying with her right now. He smelled like books and cocoa and this strong cologne she loved.

“You’ve got any thoughts, Y/N?”

She snapped out of her haze, jumping from her place flat on her mattress to prop herself on her elbow. She shoved down the sweater, attempting to hide it under the covers. “Oh, about what exactly?” She asked, cringing now that they knew she was daydreaming again.

“About Sirius.”

“What about Sirius?”

The girl waved her hand through the air dismissively. “Nevermind. You’re always lost in your own thoughts, aren’t you?” Marlene laughed.

It was true. She got lost quite a lot, drifting between the real world and her imaginary one. One where Remus held her tightly to his chest like the night they danced around the common room to the record player all night long. One where Remus kissed her and held her cheeks in his strong, calloused hands.

Y/N was quick to reply, hoping she was correct in her assumptions. “I definitely think you should ask him out. He totally adores you.” She tried to be a good friend, really. Yet, she had no idea if the boy liked Marlene back. He never mentioned or hinted at it, from what she could tell.

“He’s like that with every girl.” Dorcas finished her friend’s hair, finally setting down her brush. “You’ve got to find yourself a new person to fancy. He’s too much of a player, practically romancing the entire student body at this point.”

“Not me,” Y/N replied.

Dorcas laughed, as did Lily. Her brows furrowed, confused at what was so funny. Was there something she was supposed to know? She squirmed a bit in her place on the bed, her eyes trailing to the carpeted floor.

Marlene answered her questions though. “Hun, Sirius flirts with you the most out of anyone, for obvious reasons...”

“Trying to make a certain someone jealous.”

“I never know what you’re talking about. Someone? Like who?”

“Just lay back down and keep daydreaming, Y/N. We know you’d rather be with your little boyfriend,” Dorcas told the girl, brushing off her oblivious nature. “Well, not so little, quite tall actually.”

“Shush. You don’t have any idea what you’re talking about. I don’t have a boyfriend.” Y/N did take the opportunity to lay back on her bed again, head hitting the plush pillows.

“I bet you’re thinking about him right now. Can’t ever get that boy off your mind.”

She clutched at the sweater under the blanket, holding it to her chest. They always made fun of her for her crush, nearly every chance they got. Really, Y/N was content just holding his sweater close and seeing him during the day. She was particularly proud each time she managed to get him to smile, a real genuine one. He was so dreamy when he smiled.

A soft curve to her lips indicated that she’d fallen victim to another fantasy, thinking of his grin, saved just for her. He was so handsome, with his fluffy brown hair and turtleneck sweaters. She thought of the way he bit his lip when lost in thought, reading a book or listening to an interesting transfiguration lesson.

Not that she stared at him all class. That would be weird. But it would explain her needing tutoring in the subject.

She was consumed by him, everything about him down to his tiny imperfections. He was mysterious in a way that peaked her interest, and snarky with people he didn’t like. He was kind to her, and tolerant of the rest of the group. He was just so perfect. So devilishly charming in his own special way.

Her heart beat faster and she felt heat rising to her cheeks. Her fingers dug into the jumper in her hands even tighter, wanting to bring it up to her face and hug it, getting a piece of Remus before she saw him the next morning at breakfast.

After seven long years of knowing the boys and rooming with the girls in the Gryffindor dormitories, she wondered if it was time to come clean. It felt like the stars were finally aligning in her favor. Her grades were better than usual, she had the best friends in the world, Christmas was right around the corner, and she was unbelievably happy, if not for the stupid Remus situation.

Her friends sat around Lily’s bed, going on about boys again, not that she was keeping track. She could barely pay attention, her mind was on the boy she fancied. He made her so dumb. So distracted she might as well give up on thinking about anything else but him.

The other girls already knew. It was only a matter of time before her heart had swelled so much that it burst. She needed to confide in someone.

“I think I’m in love with him,” Y/N whispered, interrupting their conversation..

Dorcas raised a brow, lifting her eyes from a magazine in her lap. The other girls didn’t bother sparing more than a glance before going back to reading. “Seems you’re the last to find out. I think even James was able to deduce that before you,” the blonde laughed.

“I know you like to make fun of me, but it’s serious.”

“And we’re serious about just pulling the poor boy into a broom closet and snogging him,” Dorcas added, “Remus isn’t so scary.”

“He cares for you so much, Y/N,” Lily assured, resting a gentle hand on her friend’s knee soothingly. It was quite obvious to everyone else except for the girl in question. If only she could clearly see in from the outside, through the eyes of anyone else there. “You should just say something to him.”

Y/N took a deep breath and sighed. “I’m just so scared to lose him. Remus is like my best friend.”

“And so she finally admits it,” Marlene giggled, “Remus loves you. There’s nothing you could do that would scare him away, sweetheart.”

It was only a bit reassuring to her, the things the girls said. It was easy to say those things when you were looking in from the outside, supposedly unaffected if disaster were to strike. If he were to be disturbed by her confession and turn her down, forever making their relationship complicated and uncomfortable.

Tears filled her eyes and she sniffled, covering her eyes with her forearm to keep the tears from dripping down her cheeks. She was such a crybaby. Remus didn’t want a crybaby. He wanted a smart and confident girl. Someone that would raise him up, not drag him down. Y/N was far too messy.

“I-I just love him so much. He means the world to me. I can’t risk ruining our relationship,” the girl whimpered. Marlene was quick to take a seat on the edge of the bed, running a soothing hand through Y/N’s hair. “He’s just so perfect and I’m so awkward. He doesn’t want me.”

“Don’t cry, please. It’s gonna be okay, I promise,” Marlene hushed.

Dorcas added, “If he breaks your heart, Lily will hex the shit out of him anyway.”

Y/N pulled the sweater out from under the blanket and pressed it to her face, taking in the scent and the feeling of the fabric against her skin. “He gave me this jumper, you know. I was supposed to give it back, but he never asked and it smells so good, just like him. I lay here every night thinking about his smile and his laugh, and his sweet honey-brown eyes. I think of his voice and his fluffy hair, and the way he always has chocolate frogs in his bag for when I’m sad. I just love everything about him.”

Marlene swiped her fingers under her eyes, blinking back some tears herself, “Damn, Y/N, you’re gonna make me all emotional.”

“I was wondering why you kept sleeping with that jumper. Figured you were just cold,” Lily hummed. “I think that’s really sweet. You should tell him what you just told us.”

“You’d melt his icy, cold heart, babe,” Dorcas said.

“You’d be surprised. He’s been sending me very mixed signals recently, and I really don’t think he’s interested,” Y/N confessed sadly, pressing her face into her pillows. “We get so close and then he just runs away. It’s like he’s scared of me or something. I-I don’t know what to do!”

“He’s a complicated guy. I think you should go find him. Figure all this out, like, right now.”

“It’s past curfew,” Y/N argued.

“Since when do those boys head to bed at curfew? They’re probably up talking about some stupid stink bomb prank or whatever,” the blonde argued back, “Maybe they’re like us and talking about their own crushes. Who knows?”

Again, Dorcas was right. Those boys would never fall asleep before midnight. They were probably wide awake plotting some shit while Remus read in his own bed, pretending to be disapproving of their behavior. He liked to prank and go on mini adventures, just didn’t want to stoop to their level of idiocy.

“Well, go on. Get to it,” Lily practically ordered, waving her hands towards the door. “I can’t stand seeing you drool over this boy any longer.”

Y/N didn’t stand up right away, not until Marlene took her hands and pulled her from the bed to her feet. She wore her pajamas with cartoon monkeys and bananas on it, and she wondered if she should change. It was kind of embarrassing after all.

“Really, I don’t have to tell him tonight. I’ll do it some other time, I swear,” she tried to say but was interrupted.

“Nope. You have to go now. We’ve decided that’s best for you.”

“Don’t you think this is rather sudden?”

“Don’t make excuses. If you come back to this room without shagging a certain bookworm in the broom cupboard, you’re sleeping on the floor.” That made her feel heat in her cheeks and she choked on air, coughing suddenly from the vulgarity of her friend.

Marlene pushed her out the dorm room and shut the door, making sure to lock it from the inside so she couldn’t get back in. They weren’t lying. If she didn’t do this, she might be sleeping on the couch in the common room for the night.

With a deep breath, she stood up a bit straight and walked towards the boy’s dormitories. She felt wrong being there, a girl sneaking into the boy’s dorms in the middle of the night. If someone saw her, they might think she was a massive pervert.

She rounded the corner, her eyes catching sight of the third door to the right, precisely where all four of the infamous marauders slept every night. Quickly, she scurried over to the large round door and stood in front of it, her fist hovering a few inches from the wood. She was afraid to knock. What if they were sleeping and she woke them? Would Remus be grumpy? Would James whack her over the head with a slipper?

She shuffled nervously, before hesitantly tapping on the door, praying that no one heard and she could just turn around and tell the girls everyone was asleep.

Only, that’s not what happened. She heard a loud crash from inside the room followed by some hurried talking. Footsteps approached the door and cracked it open just enough to peer out and see her dumbass standing there in her stupid pajamas, twiddling her thumbs.

It was Peter. She smiled awkwardly at him, and he let out a loud breath of relief.

“Y/N, I’ve never been so relieved to see you,” the boy exhaled, opening the door just enough for her to slip inside. She stared at him, confused at what he meant by that. He took her wrist, peering left and right in the hallway for watching eyes, then tugged her into the room. He shut the door behind her and flipped the lock shut.

She stared at the short boy, her mouth open but her brain empty of words. “Peter, what are you on about?”

“Y/N! Darling! What a coincidence you show up at this hour. We were just about to get you-“ Sirius started, until Y/N interrupted, her eyes latching onto the bubbling brew on the floor before her. It was smoking and quite grayish-green for a proper potion. She wondered what they could be up to at this hour.

“What are you guys trying to brew?” She peered around the room at the boys. James and Sirius were leaning over the pot with confusion on their features, James clutching at the recipe in his hand while the other held a wooden spoon. Peter was pacing, as the boy does when he finds himself at all stressed. Remus sat in his bed watching from the sidelines, presumably having been reading the book that he now sat at his side.

Tonight he must have been wanting to avoid their shenanigans for a change. He did that sometimes, when he was tired or he had been studying for a long period of time beforehand and wanted to relax.

“Healing potion, although we seem to have fucked up somewhere along the way,” James said warily, staring down into the disgustingly thick, bubbling liquid that burned from a makeshift heat source on the hardwood. “We have a prank coming up soon that might require some if it comes back to bite us in the ass.”

She hummed, reaching out to take their recipe from his hands and read the fine print, something the four of them seemed to ignore. It wasn’t that she doubted their ability to brew a complex potion such as this, it was just that they didn’t have experience with healing brews like she did, in fact, it was the one thing she actually enjoyed brewing. Everything else went over her head.

Perhaps that’s why they seemed relieved to see her. She’d made the potion for Remus in times of need quite a few times. “I don’t know why you didn’t just ask me to make you some in the first place. You know Slughorn lets me use the classroom when I ask,” she commented.

“You seemed stressed. We didn't want to bother you.”

“Nonsense. I’m always willing to help friends, even if it’s for less-than-honorable means,” Y/N brushed off their worries. She reached down to their pile of ingredients and took a pinch of mint leaf, tossing it into the pot and stirring with the spoon five times counterclockwise. “I should be able to fix this right up with a few tweaks.”

She added a few more things, stirred the pot and waited for the color to change and the bubbling to die down to a low simmer. Finally happy with the results, she spooned a bit into a vial and held it out to her friend.

“Oh, thank you, sweet angel,” Sirius replied, quite pleased , “Have I ever told you how much I love you?”

She giggled, nodding her head at his words. “All the time.” He stepped forward carefully to take the potion vial from her hands and tuck it into his pants pocket for later. James spooned the liquid into a few more potion bottles he had sitting off to the side, putting them into a little sack to save for later.

She turned away from the pot, suddenly stuck in the precarious situation she came here for. She wondered if she could somehow sneak out without finishing her seemingly impossible task.

Peter furrowed his brows, now concerned with things other than an explosive, unpredictable potion that was previously in their room. “Y/N, why were you outside our dorm this late anyway? It’s almost midnight.”

“It’s a long story,” she replied, now thinking about why she was sent there in the first place. Her cheeks bloomed as embarrassment flooded her features. She wrung her hands in her lap, staring down at the monkey print on her favorite night shirt and pants. Everything is interesting when you’re trying to avoid the inevitable.

“We‘ve certainly got the time,” James chirped, setting his broom on the floor and plopping into his bed. “It’s awfully out of character for you to be sneaking about after curfew.” She cringed at his words. James was right. She would never leave her bed at this hour normally, especially not to show up at their room unannounced. She wrestled with her options on how she could explain herself without seeming like a bumbling idiot.

Her eyes flickered over to Remus, who appeared to be reading a book, distracting himself from the chaos at hand. Only each time she turned away, he peered back to see her pretty face. That innocent smile and her sparkly eyes.

“Didn’t even bother getting dressed. Must have been urgent,” Sirius inquired further.

She stood from her spot on the ground, her eyes staring off at the wall, and then at the floor, anywhere but in the eyes of one of her friends. “I came to see Remus.” Her words were very quiet, almost incoherent. Still, they all heard her. The boy in question peered up from his novel with a brow raised.

“Oooooh,” James cackled, “What did you do this time, Moony?” His friends teased him. Out of all of them though, Remus was probably the least likely to offend one of the girls and get a scolding. James and Sirius definitely outranked him on the mischievous scale.

“It couldn’t have waited til morning, Y/N?” He asked, voice seemingly caught in his throat. He swallowed thickly. What could she possibly need at this hour? From him of all people?

“Um, no. It’s rather important, actually,” she replied, a bit of nervousness in her voice, leading to some shaky words. “Let’s go outside for a minute, if that’s okay with you.”

He set down his novel on the nightstand beside his bed. He felt embarrassed as the guys winked his way and made crude gestures as he walked behind her out the door. His face was no doubt turning a light shade of pink just at the thought of her desperately needing to talk to him in the middle of the night.

He shut the door behind them, looking down at her expectantly. “So, what did you need?” he asked, rubbing the back of his neck. She noticed the way his hair fluffed up at the touch, and it made her heart beat just a bit faster than before.

“It’s a lot. Do you want to go to the sofas to talk?” She asked, but really she felt like she was just stalling what was bound to happen. He nodded regardless, and they found themselves seated beside each other on the velvety red sofa in front of the always-alight fireplace.

She crossed her legs under her and grabbed a pillow, hugging it to her chest. Her eyes stared at the wisps of fire crackling beside them. Remus found himself growing concerned at the look in her eyes, seeing the fear and confusion in her gaze.

“You know I trust you more than anyone, right, Rem?”

“Yeah,” he lied. Images of her and Sirius whispering in the common room and the hallways and during class when they sat beside each other lingered in his mind as he agreed. Sometimes he worried he would always be second place to his raven-haired friend.

She took a deep breath before burying her face into the pillow she held, wishing she could just scream into it and run back to her dorm room to sleep away this nightmare of a confrontation.

She lifted her eyes to meet his, and she couldn’t help feeling at ease seeing his soft brows and caring gaze back. “I like someone,” she confessed, “I like him a lot, like really bad.”

Even if her voice was muffled by the cushion, he heard what she said. His heart dropped in his chest. He knew this was coming, but he didn’t expect it so soon. He wasn’t prepared. All he could muster was a pathetic, “Ah, okay.”

“I want your advice.” Another pang in his chest. Was he really going to sit here and help her fall in love with another guy? He wanted to die right where he sat, that way he wouldn’t have to endure another second of this torment. “How do I tell him?”

“Guess it depends on the guy.” The guy she fancied was most definitely Sirius, if she liked someone in the group. James was off limits because of Lily being her best friend. Peter wasn’t her type. Remus barely thought of himself as a romantic person; he was neither charming nor charismatic, simply himself. He abandoned her the other night while the record played. He was barely best friend-material, far from boyfriend-material.

Sirius was handsome, charming, flirty, and just around wonderful. He noticed the way her smile dropped when Sirius left them alone in Hogsmeade. He saw the way she smiled whenever he called her that silly nickname. He watched everything happen right in front of his eyes, and he couldn’t do a thing about it. Remus was too afraid to.

“How would you like a girl to confess to you?” she asked further.

He sighed, staring over at the fireplace now. “I suppose I’d want her to be comfortable with me first. Comfortable enough she could just tell me without being nervous. I’d hate to make her feel intimidated,” he explained, “It would have to be private. Not in front of the guys, they would mock me endlessly.”

She urged one last time, wanting to squeeze out any more information he might be willing to give out, “Anything else?”

“I’d like to hear why she chose me. I’m not exactly the friendly type. Nor the funny type. Or the charming type. I don’t have much going for me,” he commented. When he looked back over at her, she was staring down at her hands wrapped around the pillow. She twiddled her thumbs nervously like she always did when she felt some anxiety rolling in.

“And what if she was in love with you? It wasn’t just a crush, it was more than that, has been for a while?”

He felt like crying. He didn’t know why. He was the one that pulled away when they almost kissed the other night. He was the one that brushed off her nicknames and her soft touches, the sweet cheek kisses she gave him when he sat on the couch and she approached silently from behind. He was the one that let her go into the arms of someone else. He let her fall in love with some other guy, and now he felt like a clown for wanting to cry over it.

Remus was beginning to think he just had shit luck, some kind of curse possibly.

“If someone told me they loved me, I would hope I loved them back. I’d hope they’d let me spoil them, kiss them, admire everything about them.”

“And if you didn’t love them back?” She was scared of his answer for this one, knowing there was quite a large possibility that he didn’t love her back. In fact, she was confident that he couldn’t love her. She was so silly and naive, and he was mature. He was so smart and handsome. He’d want someone better than her.

He thought about it for a moment. “I’d much prefer to keep a friend and pretend it never happened than to lose them entirely. I suppose we’d look past it and move on.” It was hard to say what exactly he would do. He’d had random girls come up to him and confess their crushes to him, but it was never anyone he was close with, nor anyone he had to interact with again.

She buried her face into the pillow one more time. Trying to calm her breaths so she didn’t seem suspicious. He wanted her to be relaxed when she confessed to him. She had to be comfortable, and normally she was comfy with him. It was just now she felt herself crumbling under his gaze.

“Can I ask who it is?”

She shook her head, biting her lip to keep herself from saying something stupid. It was taking quite a long time for a Gryffindor girl to muster up the courage to confess her love to a kind boy like Remus. She was never very brave or strong. Not like Lily, Dorcas, or even Marlene.

“Remus,” she started, trying to find the words on her tongue. “Do you like anyone?” She mustered out, somehow finding a way to avoid her confession once again.

He nodded. She was sitting right in front of him, hugging a pillow for dear life as she talked about being in love with some other bloke. He just prayed it wasn’t one of his friends. The heartbreak he would feel knowing she liked Sirius that way would be indescribable.

She felt scared now, even worse than before. She wondered who she was competing with. Probably Dorcas. She was so confident and intelligent, and she had beautiful braids that fit her features perfectly, looking like a goddess every day. Maybe he liked Marlene. Marlene was nice, and oh-so pretty. She could hold a conversation about just anything.

What could Y/N do? Not much.

“Do you think she likes you back?”

“No. Even if she did, I couldn’t be with her.”

“Why not?”

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, eyes shut tiredly. “I’m a freak, Y/N.”

Her eyes widened, and she shook her head furiously. Her hand extended to hold onto his, running her thumb over his knuckles in an attempt to comfort him. Her eyes lifted to meet his, and he could see the conflicting feelings running through her mind.

“You are not a freak. Never say that again.” She was stern with her words, giving his hand a squeeze as she did so. Y/N wanted to reach out and cuddle him to her chest, telling him everything was going to be okay. That he was wonderful, and the man of her dreams.

“I could kill you. You do realize that, right?” He asked, and she just rolled her eyes.

“Yes, and James could come down here and Avada Kedavra me out of existence. Every full moon you come back to me worse than any of the others, so if anything, I’d say you’re more of a threat to yourself than anyone else.”

“Still, I hardly deserve it. She’s just so…” He peered over at her and then back to the fire. “Perfect.”

“And you aren’t?” She stared into the fire, too afraid to make eye contact. “Remus, you are so kind to me. You’re so charming and smart.” He felt himself blush at her generous compliments. It wasn’t often someone said such nice things about him. It meant so much, especially coming from her.

“Thanks. You’re not too bad yourself,” he replied calmly, but inside he felt his little heart might implode from joy. It didn’t take much for her to get his heart racing.

She continued, this time her voice just above a whisper. “I could fall asleep listening to just your voice, or your laugh. I’m addicted to hearing it.” The room was quiet save for the crackling of the wood logs in the fireplace and her quickened breaths. He didn’t say anything. He really didn’t know how to reply to that.

She took his silence as a means to keep going, to just display her heart for him to see. It was such a vulnerable moment, one where she felt weak. Powerless. Desperate.

“I spend my nights thinking about you. I hope you don’t mind, and I promise I’m not a weirdo, but I kept the jumper you lent me at Hogsmeade. It smells like you and I’m terrified it’ll lose your scent. I sleep with it just to pretend you’re close to me,” she confessed, feeling the fear leave her body the more she spoke. It was relieving to finally get this off her chest. To tell him everything she’d been keeping to herself.

“I’m not very good at this sort of thing, so forgive me. The girls just told me if I didn’t tell you tonight they were gonna lock me out of the dorms for the night. I know you just said not to be intimidated, but I am. I’m so scared, I’m shaking,” she commented, raising one of her hands to show the tremors that ran through her arm into her shaky wrist. “I’m so hopelessly in love with you, Remus. I don’t know what to do with myself.”

“This isn’t some sort of elaborate prank, right?”

“Of course not. I’m not cruel.”

He leaned back on the couch and shut his eyes, keeping himself calm to avoid the tears that would inevitably gather in the corners of his eyes. He was so lonely. He was so scared of everyone hating him one day and leaving him behind. He never even imagined a girl as beautiful as Y/N walking into his life and falling in love with him for who he was.

“Remus? Are you okay?” she questioned nervously, worried that she really had ruined everything despite what he said earlier about pretending it never happened and moving on with their lives. She reached out to rest her hand gently on his upper arm.

He turned to her, looking down at her shy self hiding behind a throw pillow. She was so adorable, so perfect and pretty he felt like he was living in a dream. He tried to pinch himself awake, but she stayed the same.

Remus really didn’t know what overcame him in that moment but he felt himself lurch forward, hands going to cup both her cheeks. His lips found hers, and his eyes squeezed shut. It wasn’t until he felt her kissing back with just as much fervor that he relaxed. Her lips moved slowly against his, so soft and plump against his chapped ones.

She pulled away for a moment, her lips just barely touching his as she laughed, “Guess you love me back?”

He just kissed her again. And again. And maybe a few more times after that.

[fear-is-truth]

 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐄𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐬: 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐤

𝐓𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐝𝐨𝐧

you find him lying face down on the floor, unmoving.

“tate..?”

his eyes are red-rimmed and slightly watery when he rolls over to face you.

you put a hand to his forehead, which was burning hot.

"oh god, you're hot!”

“i know, it’s one of my finest attributes.” he mumbles.

“tate i was talking about your temperature-"

you ask him if there’s anything you can get for him to make him feel better

he looks at you with puppy eyes and tells you that you’re all that he need.

and those cherry-flavored cough drops (he can finish the entire box if you’re not watch)

loves to snuggle against you in bed. extra clingy.

your soft coos, the feeling of your fingers running through his hair as he falls asleep.

he just loves it when you baby him.

𝐊𝐢𝐭 𝐖𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐞𝐫

he comes home from work one night, and you could hear him sneezing in the hallway.

when you go over and greet him, kit wraps his arms around you and after a bit of hesitation, pecks your cheek instead of the usual passionate kiss on the lips.

“sorry, suga. but i think i’ve caught a cold, don’t wanna risk you gettin’ sick.”

tired as hell but insists that he’s fine and you should tuck the kids in bed first. asks you to give thomas and julia a kiss on the forehead for him.

after the kids are in bed, you do everything to make your hardworking and sweet husband feel better. treat him like the king he is.

you draw him a relaxing, warm bath with salts, and sit at the edge of the tub, massaging his shoulders.

“what did i ever do to deserve an angel like you, hm?”

before you could reply, he wraps his hands around your waist and pulls you into the tub.

needless to say, he felt a lot better after that. to him, you’re the best medicine in the world.

𝐉𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡

he carries on with his duties as a hotel owner / serial killer like every other day.

although he does a good job of hiding it, you can just tell something’s up.

the way he keeps using his handkerchief to wipe the beads of sweat on his forehead.

not to mention him attempting to stifle his coughs by pretending to clear his throat.

when you ask if he's feeling a bit 'under the weather,' he dismisses it by saying, “nonsense. i’m dead, dear. ailments no longer affect me."

james is a busy man– there are hotel guests to greet and people to murder. and for whatever reason, he doesn’t want to admit that he’s sick.

so there’s one more option to “lure” him into taking it a small break.

you simply express your wish to spend some quality time, and james immediately focuses all his attention on you.

james is a busy man, but spending time with his queen is always his top priority.

you both unwind by engaging in relaxing activities together, such as playing cards, reading, or discussing plans for the upcoming devil's night over hot tea.

𝐊𝐚𝐢 𝐀𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧

deny, deny, deny.

stomps around the house aggressively doing everything to prove that he’s not sick at all.

very hostile and snappy to anyone who bear witness to his sick, weakened state.

complains about everything.

“why is it so fucking cold here? did the heater break down again?”

kai also refuses to take medicine that you or winter try to give him.

you have to leave a box of NyQuil and a glass of water somewhere obvious, where he would find.

he pretends not to notice them.

but when you check on it a couple of hours later, you find a few pills missing from the blister pack.

the glass of water remains untouched, though. he swallows his pills dry. (typical kai behavior)

𝐅𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐊𝐲𝐥𝐞

kyle doesn’t really mind being sick all that much.

but he hates the cough syrup and refuses to take it.

(but who can blame him? that stuff is nasty)

you try to trick him into taking the “magic syrup” but he didn’t fall for that.

after fifteen minutes of failed attempts, you resort to to bribery:

promises of chocolate chip cookies, with lots of hugs and kisses finally made him take the spoonful of syrup.

(him scrunching up his nose and making weird faces all the time)

you build a cozy nest made out of blankets, pillows and stuffed animals.

then you watch videos in his ipad, sharing a box of cookies. (crumbs all over your bed but who cares?)

and lots of cuddling, kisses and affection.

you probably end up sick too.

but hey, it’s your sweet boy kyle. definitely worth it :)

consider this a sequel to “what they would do if you are sick”

✧. a/n ─ pls excuse the cringe writing, i wrote this while i was literally sick in bed :,) if you wanna be on my taglist just lemme know <3