#jane if nothing else tried it for experience when he was a teen

[stars-in-a-jam-jar]

Thinkin' about how Gamzee Makara is genuinely a Really Tragic Character. Like he spent his entire childhood unsupervised and unattended in the throes of a cult, developing an actual substance abuse problem in an attempt to self medicate because of the constant voices he appeared to be hallucinating. Except He Wasn't Fucking Hallucinating, THOSE VOICES WERE FUCKING REAL they were the Literal Devil and an unholy fusion of what would become of his debilitatingly loyal and subservient friend after Gamzee kills him and some thirteen year old alien But Fucked Up And Dangerously Overclocked By A Supercomputer made as a response to apocalyptic loneliness and said someone else's need to keep occupied and feel on top of things, and Gamzee could only hear them because his soul is irrevocably tied to the cursed artefact they all reside in that brings nothing but misery and paranoia wherever it goes. He developed a very laid back unbothered inscrutable personality in response to all the awful things he didn't want to be aware of and relied heavily on his faith in a pair of Mirthful Messiahs that would give deliverance to all and forever erase any unpleasant stagnancy in favor of a chaotic carnival of wonder.

When Gamzee calms down from his whole murderous rampage/vindictive ruining of the Beta Kids' Session thing, he Can't go back to the way he was. He Can't be the same person he was before. He never speaks the same again, we hardly see him speak again At All. His thirteen-year-old mind breaks under the realization that he is not who he thought he was. He is not the person who extends his own brand of kooky clownish shangri-la to those around him until they see the world as it should be. He is the tool of something malevolent and petulant and calculating and selfish. He decides (correctly if the deterministic Alpha Timeline is to be followed) that this cannot be helped, and simply leans into dissociation.

Like-- Karkat sees this kid when they're still on Alternia and is like 'I can fix him' and he tries so god damned mother fucking hard and fails in part if not only because he simply was not meant to fix Gamzee. Not because Gamzee never wanted to be fixed, but because when Gamzee sobers up and his head becomes clear enough for him to reckon with reality and he understands that: he hasn't been hallucinating the voices, the religious beliefs he has held above all else throughout his broken memory were corrupted half truths at best, and at least two of the trolls on this void forsaken meteor are dirty backbiters and bad friends who he believes don't deserve an ounce of forgiveness, he completely goes off the deep end and starts relying on The Literal Actual Most Evil Person To Ever Exist for judgement. How is Karkat supposed to remedy that when he doesn't understand or won't believe that the voices are realer than he previously believed and He Is Powerless To Dispel Them? When he truly wants all of them to just. Fucking. Be A Team and trust one another and be good to one another, but Gamzee no longer believes that was ever an option? What does one Knight wager against the Devil and The Narrative for someone's soul?

In that space of three years where he's growing into the offputting smelly clown husk of a teen that Jane meets in front of her house just before The Trickster Incident and that everyone in the fandom in my experience collectively frowns and groans audibly at, he tries to become comfortable in this new state. In the dreaded Retcon Spree that removed a huge chunk of the complexity happening in an effort to power through to an ending, it's revealed that he did genuinely develop black affections for Terezi, He Just Also Was Bad For Her and she wasn't what he needed because Nobody could give him what he needed because what he needed was to Not Be Connected To Lord English for one second longer. He brought out self loathing in her and no amount of fucking with her and getting into fights that were supposed to be stimulating and romantic but in reality were just hurtful and toxic could make him feel like he could be any semblance of any normal ever again.

I have thought about Gamzee taking care of Calliope and Caliborn from the shadows for Literal Actual Years at this point. He does it because he has to. Because it is his duty as steward and passive enabler to the evil locked inside Lil Cal. Because he has faith that this little sugar loving skrellington squiggle worm will grow up big and strong and horrifying, and it is imperative that he help that along. We never once hear him say anything about Calliope. It's as though she's not a factor that weighs at all in his mind. As though her existence is incidental to the fruition of his grander purpose in her brother's life. Does he think about her? Does he know that another version of her is what will do in the voices that have tormented him since he could comprehend speech? Does he want good things for her? Does he think Caliborn is good at this point, or does he just think he's Important? Is his perpetually placid vacant stare a mask he uses to become inscrutable, or has he truly locked away his every emotional reaction from even himself never to be found again?

The interaction he has with Kurloz and Meulin between becoming sober and becoming a caretaker where the other two are going all 'Hail Lord English' and doing The Cult Thing and he just looks at them with such deep contempt and says in all lower case 'shut the absolute mother fuck up' is So Fucking Important-- like he does not think this is fun and glorious and enriching anymore. He just knows it to be true and knows he's in this shit whether he wants to be or not. These two Chose this. Kurloz could've Run The Fuck Away from the chucklevoodoo bullshit that deafened his matesprit, and Meulin could've simply Not leaned into this evil toxic nonsense, but they both actively turn to it to cope. They see serving the power of Lord English as their salvation. Gamzee sees his salvation as completing his grim purpose and hopefully finding solace in oblivion, and he Cannot Fucking Stand these two talking like that grim purpose is a blessing that gives his life new dimension instead of a horrifying curse that ruined his health and relationships.

I don't mind the existence of The Retcon, I think a retcon was a perfectly sound writing decision given The Everything, but I really hate that the solution to everyone's problems in The Retcon was just bringing back Vriska so she could be The Most Important Person Ever just like she always wanted with no downsides and no caveats. This is in no small part because the solution she provides to The Gamzee Situation is just to domesticate him essentially. He won't be a problem if we keep him leashed up and under control. After all Gamzee's always been passive and only started being a problem when he started committing murders, so just keep him where we can see him and keep the option of murder off the table and Nothing Bad Will Ever Happen With Him Again~. And he Never Does Anything Else and We Never Hear From Him Again. Or if we do, it certainly wasn't consequential enough for me to remember it. Like, if you're gonna take the Gamzee Piece off the board while still holding the story together, just create a scene where the others banish him to Earth A during the timeframe where he's taking care of the cherubs and then bam! He's no longer a factor in the Alpha Medium while also still being able to do the things that he Must Do in order to retain the most continuity. Like I get that keeping him in the fridge for the rest of canon is a joke about fridging a character, but It's Not A Good Joke.

Gamzee Makara Deserved Better! I'm not even necessarily saying he should've gotten better. He deserved like. A Moment for us to see into his head before/whilst he went Full Catatonic Sycophant, as a token of respect for the Really Fuckin' Tragic arc he underwent. He deserved the ability to speak his mind post-Sober Murder Rampage. He deserved to be given weight beyond 'Anyway, now the murder clown is Also Here, so you know some funky shit is about to go down.' Or at least a proper transition into that 'portent of further chaos' role and not just a weird disconnected moment of Calliope going 'Yeah, bards are real passive and real fucky, y'all are lucky you don't have one in your session.' as a vague hint that Gamzee is doing the shit he does and appearing where he appears for completely inscrutable reasons that you shouldn't be looking into. Gamzee is one of plenty of characters in Homestuck whose arcs and selves kinda got lost in the shuffle, and It Makes Me Sad.

This essay has been brought to you by the emotions that arose in me thinking about how Gamzee Makara could've been a really good kid, and the only person who seems to mourn that loss is Karkat offscreen.

[vennussy]

Ronance Fic Idea #2: Single Mom Nancy x Soccer Coach To Her Child Robin AU

hi welcome to another episode of its currently 1am and venny is self projecting, in today's episode we have the second part to my ronance ideas yipee!! here's the link to the first part [tw: mentions of torture and murder there] and sit back and relax since this one is more wholesome 🥰

edit: i started this at 2am and finished at 3:30am so pls beware there will be mistakes and i'll reread it tmrw when im not dying. im sorry who has to suffer through this now tho, may the lesbian goddesses be with you

set in a modern-ish time (I'm still not sure when this fic would take place in but definitely not the 80s) with no upsidedown or anything like that, and because of this nancy doesn't end up with jonathan.

nancy and steve were young and experimenting when steve accidentally gets nancy pregnant at 17. nancy's dad doesnt allow her to abort and practically disowns her while karen, the sweet angel she is, helps nancy with little max so she can learn how to take care of a child while still being able to go to school.

at some point steve and nancy breaks up mutually due to the fact they started to fall out of love and that raising max wasn't making their collapsing relationship better. but to this day, steve still stays in hawkins, working multiple jobs to send money to nancy for max's welfare and college. (ik he was an ass in s1 but idc, i want him to be a good dad)

after nancy finishes her college (let's say she doesnt go to emerson but another high level college in indiana), a year later, nancy gets a job and boston where her and max officially move to at the age of 23 for nancy and 6 for max.

HERE COMES THE SELF PROJECTING WOO!!

since nancy was practically away all the time due to her studies, she didnt really got to raise max that well and have a distant relationship with her. after they move to boston, nancy tries to fix her ralationship with max. and though max loves her and understands why she practically wasnt there for half of her life, she just doesn't know her own mother that well anymore, so she distance herself and nancy having a family who are also distant, didnt know what to do.

(i am totally not self projecting my own mother's neglection when i was younger only for her to try harder around my peak teen years and being absolutely successful bcs i love my mom so much and she's still trying her best)

ANYWAYS !! who else to save their relationship than Robin "I Will Love Someone And I Will Show It In Every Way" Buckley!!!

nancy is 31 now and is the chief editor for the popular boston bugle papers (hehe fallout 4 reference), whereas max is 14, starting her first year in highschool. they're relationship is still a bit strained but if not improving little by little until one day max comes home eagerly and tells nancy about a new friend she met in school that asked her to join the soccer team after seeing her kick the ball during her gym class (said friend was jane hopper). nancy was nothing but supportive of the idea and asked her how she could join.

apparently for freshmen newcomers, they have to go to this initiation with a parent or guardian just to get direct permission for their child but if not then a signed form is plausible. ofc nancy chooses the former option wanting to watch her daughter play in a school team for the first time as she was interested in sports like softball, volleyball, basketball and skateboarding but never commiting to it through a school team until now.

SO INITIATION DAY COMES !!!

nancy is sitting along the outside bleachers just people watching and looking at max with jane and all that shit when the presentation comes and the official gym teacher introducing herself. thats when the most beautiful woman comes in looking distressed and interrupts her during her introduction to the parents and children. nancy finds out that the woman was the soccer coach who only part-times as a coach for the school soccer team. robin buckley.

obv robin looked distress bcs her ass woke up late and was almost late to the intiation.

now the pining insues, nancy practically staring at robin the whole intiation and only looking away once in a while to watch her daughter beat the shit out of everyone else in the team along with her new friend like holy shit bro.

during the intiation she meets a nice woman named joyce where nancy can finally be friends with and tells nance that she's actually the mother of max's new friend. and yadda yadda plot plot.

SO thats the most of it now on to the little fun facts of the story !!

max is ginger bcs karen's parents and her are ginger but she dyes her hair blonde so dont be confused

steve is practically besties with nancy now and has the same distant relationship problems with max too, but she still loves him

"mom, why is my second name mayfield?" "bcs you decided that you wanted me to have a miserable time while i was out on the field with your dad and left my stomach. it was may at the time too" "oh-"

nancy has dated people in the past but none of them stayed that long due to nancy's distant personality and max's evil gremlin one

max def got her sarcasm from nance. who else? steve? yeah no.

robin is 28 in the fic and is not the sweet innocent robin we know 🥺 i mean she is still sweet and caring but not so innocent if u know what i mea- *gunshot*

joyce was very sweet at learning that max was a teen pregnancy and even often invites her and nancy for dinner

nancy meets jonathan and they become friends

fun fact will was there for el's intiation bcs he could never miss a soccer game for el as el could never miss any of will's award night for his paintings!!

robin and max get along well through soccer AND their sarcasm towards the boys

nancy is unlabled and doesnt care who she dates as long she likes them and can love max too

nancy teaches max all of about sexuality and gender respectfully thats why max is so open minded

nancy doesnt fall for robin at first sight, she was mostly intrigued and attracted to her but the more they talk the more she fell for her

gonna uni reverse this shit and say nancy fell first but robin fell harder

robin part times as a soccer coach and full time as a barista in a coffee shop

thats how they officially met

robin is new to boston, she only moved a few months ago from france, her parents are american tho

max loves hearing robin's adventures while traveling around europe

robin is very physical and bcs of this, she teaches nancy (indirectly ofc) how to express love through simple gestures and she starts doing this to max

when max was hugged tightly for the first time than what she can remember from nancy, she freezes and nancy thinks she made a mistake before max hugs back

max soon realizes that she loves physical affection

robin calls nancy the sweetest things and tells her that a compliment, even small, to max wont hurt

"hey max?" "yeah?" "good job during the game today, im proud of you" "........*sobs*" "MAX?!"

safe to say max and nancy's relationship started to heal and they often even joke around now, something they almost never do due to nancy's reserve personality and max's distant one

"mom pls tell me you weren't looking at coach buckley's ass today" "okay fine i wont!" "...." "*whispering* i do it everyday-" "MOM PLEASE"

robin then shows nancy the beauty of quality time love language, something nancy lacked with max

anyways thats all for now, i hope yall know i started writing this at 2am and its now 3:39am

I HAD FUN THO!!! this one was a woozy to write but i hope yall enjoyed it, maybe i will write a fic of this since i loved it sm

we'll see 👀👀

[leverage-ot3]

okay but hear me out: leverage x the mentalist crossover

the cbi team is working on a case while the leverage team is investigating a corporate screw up that now has a dead body involved and bam! shenanigans ensue

patrick IMMEDIATELY knows they’re not who they say they are, but is totally a chaotic gremlin and knows they’re not there to hurt the case so he lets them carry on with their business

he is, admittedly, fascinated with this group of thieves that help others by grifting and schemeing for the greater good

highlights:

patrick takes one (1) look at parker, hardison and eliot and thinks: those bitches gay!!! those bitches poly!!! good for them

(bonus points if they’re not even together yet and he just knows romantic/sexual tension when he sees it)

eliot is put off by patrick at first because he has the chaos and quirkiness of parker and the charisma of hardison

nate assures parker that patrick is not, in any way, a psychic. parker hates psychics (as we all know) and her family makes sure that she knows she doesn’t need to be uncomfortable

now that parker knows she doesn’t have to be weary of patrick, they become FAST friends. they create an unholy amount of chaos together. he teaches her some of his tricks and she teaches him how to lift wallets

she later repeats the tricks to hardison and he gets very frustrated trying to figure them out (think: rigsby energy)

eliot knows that cho was part of a gang (and later the military) because, hardison, it’s a very distinctive stance and haircut

hardison takes van pelt under his wing and teaches her a ton of tech and hacking tricks (all ‘legal’, of course)

sophie and lisbon bond over being the team moms and complain (lovingly) about their chaotic children

after the job is over for the leverage crew and the murderer has been put behind bars they all sit down for pizza to celebrate.

(hardison knocks his knee against eliot’s under the table, whispering to him that his pizza is better. parker, munching on her own slice, pauses before nodding in agreement)

eliot invites them to the brewpub for a meal on the house if they ever find themselves in portland

bonus:

rigsby LOVES eliot’s cooking so he and van pelt visit the brewpub sometimes and enjoy a meal on the house

patrick sometimes takes a weekend trip to portland to participate in one of their cons to expel some of his chaos energy. he found that he really likes grifting and after sophie and nate leave, sometimes if the ot3 needs an extra grifter they’ll call him

unlike nate who dials up his obnoxious personas to 11, patrick is more smooth and charismatic

lisbon is totally chill with it but insists plausible deniability so she doesn’t usually go up to portland with him if he’s participating in a con. other than that she enjoys the occasional trip to portland to visit their friends

yeah and patrick totally secretly adopted them as well because, crime children? how could he not? it’s not like he’s actually the law

[brawltogethernow]

@mirrorfalls​ submitted: Came across this while searching for James Bond’s scrambled-eggs recipe (long story). Your thoughts?

~~

But did you find James Bond’s scrambled eggs recipe?

In this article, Scocca laments his inability to find accessible, lighthearted superhero comics suitable to read with his young son, while also demonstrating a mysterious aversion to looking at DC and Marvel’s lines of comics for children, which is where the accessible, lighthearted superhero comics suitable for reading with young children are. He wants his elementary schooler to be able to safely have the run of all superhero media so he doesn’t have to touch the yucky baby books.

This is not an industry-wide crisis. This is just one dude who got paid to write an article where he accidentally exposed one of his personal hangups.

The child headed toward the trade paperbacks of Marvel and D.C. superhero titles on the side wall […] a few steps in front of me. […] Is he with you? a clerk asked me. I said he was. You know, the clerk said, we have a kids’ section. The clerk gestured backward, at a few shelves near the entrance. I said, Thanks, we know and tried throwing in a little shrug, as the kid kept going.

You can’t just turn a seven-year-old child loose in a comic-book store to look at the superhero comic books. […] My seven-year-old really wanted to see that last Avengers movie […] that is, he wished it were a movie he could see, but he understood that it was, instead, a movie designed to scare and sadden him—a movie actively hostile to people like him.

They have a children’s section. Because comics are a medium suitable for stories for everybody, and they are sold in comic book shops, which have sections, like bookstores. You can use this organization to find books that you know in advance are suitable for children. What goes in that category is determined by industry professionals. This area will be bigger the bigger the shop is. These comics are not lower quality that titles from the main lines. They are actually slightly better-written on average.

Your local comic book shop has considerately wrapped Empowered in a plastic bag, so your child will not be drawn in by a colorful superhero and accidentally read a graphic scene. If you think your kid might find a memoir about internment camps upsetting, it is your job to notice them picking up They Called Us Enemy and read the blurb on the back before you let them have it. This comic adults are meant to read is in a comic book shop because that is where comics are sold. Not every public place is supposed to be Disneyland.

Movies have ratings systems. If you do not want your child to watch a PG-13 movie, you will find that most superhero cartoons are for children. They are about the same characters. Some are quite good! I really enjoyed Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. Your child may like Avengers Assemble. At least I think that’s right. I’m always mixing those titles around.

This is a deeply weird bias for Scocca to casually demonstrate, because he identifies in the article that real childishness is striving for empty maturity.

He compares an old comic,

[…]a 1966 Spider-Man comic in which Spider-Man meets, fights, and defeats the Rhino; participates in a running argument between John Jameson and J. Jonah Jameson about his heroism; buys a motorcycle; breaks up with his first girlfriend, Betty Brant; flirts with Gwen Stacy; and reluctantly agrees to let Aunt May take him to meet her friend Mrs. Watson’s niece, Mary Jane.

and a new comic,

[…]a 21st century comic book in which Thor, brooding in a Katrina-destroyed New Orleans, beats up Iron Man. He also yells at Iron Man a lot about some incomprehensibly convoluted set of grievances, including involuntary cloning, that he believes Iron Man perpetrated against him while he was dead(?), and then summons some other Norse god from the beyond somehow for reasons having something to do with real estate. I think. Where the 1966 comic is zippy and fun and complete, the whole contemporary one is muddled and lugubrious and seems to constitute a tiny piece of a seemingly endless plot arc—simultaneously apocalyptic and inert.

and concludes that the edgier comic is actually less mature. This is true. (This is not news about mediocre comics.)

It also has nothing to do with either comic being child-friendly, the article’s nominal thesis, except in the sense that ASM #41 (yes, I eyeballed that from that summary, yes I am just showing off now) is better written, making it more everyone-friendly. It also has practically more space dedicated to word balloons than art and is about a college student juggling girl problems and a part-time job with a tyrannical boss. But the immature one, as Scocca points out, is dour.

These are both teenagery issues, separated only by quality. It’s true that lots of new comics published by the big 2 are bad in the specific way Scocca describes here, taking themselves too seriously and hauled down by associated stories instead of buoyed by them. Some are not! Some titles from these companies’ main continuities are zippy, contained, and child friendly. Give your child The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl! Or if you like vintage comics so much better, why don’t you…buy some?

The books on the kid’s rack are good and fun and totally suitable for parents to read with their children without wanting to scoop their eyeballs out. Scocca cites the Batman ‘66 comics as the brightly colored, tightly written all ages solution to his problem about sharing superhero stories with his son. My local comic shop stores this title in the kid’s section. I am glad that Scocca’s does not, as he seems to have a peculiar aversion to looking for comics to read with his son there.

Scocca cites Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse as a superhero movie he could watch with his kids. (I was surprised when this line made it sound like he has several. I don’t want to assume the other one isn’t in this article because they’re a girl, but I very much am assuming that.) Great! Go to the kid’s section and look for Marvel Adventures: Spider-Man. It’s a fun, zippy title directly inspired by ITSV where Miles, Gwen, and Peter superhero together. It’s much more tightly written than most of the various Spider-Verse comics, which are ambitiously messy ubercrossovers. You may not want to give those to children because they include murder and so on, but also you just have the choice between the two as an adult reader deciding how much continuity you want to deal with. Adventures is one of the only titles I would buy on sight before corona. The kid comic rack is a reliable place to take a break from How Comics Get Sometimes regardless of how old you are.

This article makes me feel quarrelsome. Maybe it’s that it doesn’t seem like exploration of a single idea so much as a loosely grouped bundle of things to kvetch about. Maybe it’s that the experience of getting into superheroes that Scocca describes experiencing, projects his seven-year-old son will experience, and from which he extrapolates a metaphorical microcosm of the history of the genre is completely alien to me.

Comic books [and] comic-book movies—are […] trapped in their imagined audience’s own awful passage from childhood to adolescence. A seven-year-old has a clean […] appreciation of superheroes. They like hero comics because the comics have heroes: bold, strong, vividly colored good guys to fight off the bad guys and make the world safe.

But seven-year-olds stop being seven. […] They become 13-year-olds, defensively trying to learn how to develop tastes about tastes.

The 13-year-old wants many things from comics, but the overarching one is that they want to prove that they’re not some seven-year-old baby anymore. They want gloomy heroes, miserable heroes, heroes who would make a seven-year-old feel bad. (Also boobs. They want boobs.)

Not because of the boobs line, although that does illicit an eyeroll that this gloomy thinkpiece is fretting over preserving the superhero experience of little boys who resemble the little boy the writer was while casually dismissing everyone else. I was one of those unlikable little seven-year-olds with a college reading level and the impression that maintaining it was the crux of my worth. I only read Books - distinguished media you could club someone with. I have a formative memory of pausing, enraptured, in front of a poster for Spider-Man 3, preparing to say that it looked pretty cool, and being beaten to the punch by my mother making a disparaging comment about how the movie was trash. It wasn’t out yet, but it was a superhero movie. That meant it was for loud, brainless children.

That was the total of my childhood experience with superheroes, excluding being the unwilling audience to incessant renditions of “Jingle Bells, Batman Smells” that left me wondering why in god’s name Batman’s sidekick was named Robin. I certainly never visited a comic book shop. I got into TvTropes, which got me into webcomics, which got me following David Willis, who got me into Ask Chris at ComicsAlliance, which led to me rewarding myself for studying like a demon for the AP tests with three volumes of Waid’s Daredevil, pitched as a return to the character being colorful and swashbuckling. I was seven…teen.

This is of the same thread as Scocca’s point that immaturity is running from childish things. It leaves me baffled that he doesn’t follow that maturity is embracing them.

I will disclose here that while I think it was dumb I had to overcome my upbringing’s deeply embedded shame associated with enjoying arbitrarily defined lowbrow media and children being childish, I think it’s fine that I was allowed largely unchecked access to technically age-inappropriate content. In my limited experience, content small children are too young for is also content they’re too young to understand, so it kind of just bounces off of them, and what actually ends up terrorizing them is unpredictable collages of impressions that strike out at them from content deemed perfectly child-friendly. I would not forbid a seven-year-old I was in charge of from seeing an MCU movie unless I had a reason to believe that specific child would not take it well. These are emotionally low-stakes bubblegum films. It will probably be easier to socialize with other kids if they have seen them.

But then, when I picture being in charge of a hypothetical child, I usually imagine this being the case because they are related to me, and the pupal stage in my family strongly resembles Wednesday Addams. ALL children love death and violence, though, right?? This isn’t a joke point. I know it looks like a joke point.

The MCU thing seems especially weird in light of the article’s particular focus on Spider-Man, which is the kiddie line of the MCU, even if they refused to waver from their usual formula enough to get a lower rating. Though I am more inclined to describe it as “preying on the young” than “child-friendly”.

(MCU movies are increasingly dubious propaganda, but I would not judge them in front of a child who wanted to watch them for that reason, just in case this led to them partaking of them without me the second they were old enough to and then they grew up to run a blog about them while our relationship suffered because they didn’t feel like it was safe to talk to me about their interests…Mom.)

I tried to overcome the philosophy of letting anyone read anything while compiling this handful of mostly-newish superhero recs for the road that anyone can read. (Handily, I have been in spitting distance of being hired as a comic shop clerk enough to have thought about it before):

For actual children:

Marvel Adventures Spider-Man (the new one is reminiscent of ITSV, the old one is more like 616) any DC/Archie crossover, Archie’s Superteens The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl (for bookish children who think they’re too good for comics and adults afraid of the kid’s section) Teen Titans Go (even if you hate the show) Superman Smashes the Klan

For teens:

Ms. Marvel Young Avengers (volume 2) Unbelievable Gwenpool Batman: Gotham Adventures Teen Titans Go (the tie-in comic based off the old show was also called this)

Here are a bunch of relevant C. S. Lewis quotes.

[kaypeace21]

Rebel Robin podcast (ep 3 &4 analysis)

For those who haven’t read them yet. Here’s the analysis for podcast ep 1&2. Analysis of Rebel Robin book-here. And eastereggs from rebel robin novel- here.

So the main things I noticed in ep 3 was how Robin spying was shown as a huge NEGATIVE-and Mr Hauser got upset over her doing so. Robin listens to mr. Hauser’s phone call (like Karen with Mike in s3/ us gov spying on calls in s1) & on a different occasion Robin also eavesdrops on a private convo he is having with someone else in his classroom ( like El spying on Mike talking to Lucas in s3). And when he finds out about this he tells her how wrong it was to spy on other people like that. In the past, I also talked about how the theme of spying is shown for many other st characters ( in the show) and how it  isn’t romanticized like people think it is- here .

Anyways , Ep 3 ends with a call from a h*mophobic teen( Dash) telling Robin to “stay away” from Mr. Hauser cause he’s “dangerous”. Why he thinks he’s dangerous is solely for the fact he’s gay.I think this theme may come into play in s4 Hawkins (in relation to the satanic panic). In ep 4 Robin jokes to (gay) Mr. Hauser  : “ So what are you into... satanism?” (Sadly most queer people have been told over and over we’re going to hell for being gay/lgbt+. it’s sadly an almost universal experience.) For those unaware- the ‘satanic panic’ was a right wing christian movement in the 80′s that WRONGLY associated certain things with supposed satanism.  Just some of the many things they demonized : rock music , stephen king , wearing black,  horror/fantasy media, and of course queer people and d&d (hellfire club - the name is a a xmen ref but in the show it’s probably an inside joke about the satanic panic and people being scared of d&d). We see foreshadowing of the satanic panic hinted in s3 (in relation to d&d)- on tv the narrator asks if “satanism” (pans to d&d set) is to blame for the odd occurrances in Hawkins. And given how the s4 el-trailer had the clock say 3:00am for the “witching hour” also called “the devil’s hour” since it’s supposed to be a subversion of jesus dy*ing at 3:00 pm. And the possibility s4 may take place around Easter.  I think we’ll see that religious (Christian) extre*sm  causes many people in Hawkins to interpret the supernatural as ‘satanic’. And no , I’m obviously not talking poorly about all religious/christian people).

After this Mr. Hauser jokes how Hawkins is like “lord of the flies” and how he “worries” what would happen if teens were left to their own devices-like in the book. The themes in the book mostly focus on the dangers of ‘mob mentality’ and how human beings can become v*olent and turn on each other- if the safety of civilization disappears...

This I believe is foreshadowing - i mentioned in a post a while back (here). How movies on the s4 list had the theme of :  a supernatural event indirectly causing towns people to act irrationally and turn on eachother v*olently. Despite literal monsters attacking them from outside (they chose to turn on eachother instead). In the end some townspeople become the real monsters via mob mentality/v*oence/false witch hunts (the mist, the birds, etc). In ‘the birds’ (while people are hidding in a store)- they wrongly  blame certain characters for the supernatural chaos. Similarly, in ‘the mist’ (crowd of townspeople are trapped in a store) and some  start interpreting the monsters as being sent as punishment by god- some town’s people start quoting the bible and saying the only way to stop the punishment is to start “sacrificing the s*nners and nonbelievers”. BIG YIKES.ST references mapple street (where the wheelers and sinclairs live). It’s based on the twilight zone ep of the same name “The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street” .The ‘monsters’ of that episode -were the townspeople turning on eachother because they incorrectly think their own neighbors are part of an invading supernatural army. The enemy was actually the paranoia/mob mentality-not the supernatural force they feared.  And yes i do think this concept is linked with 80s satanic panic and will cause some town division/obstacles for our heroes to deal with . **I also think the s4 bts of the Hawkins blood clinic-may be used to show h*mophobia (linked to satanic panic) in the town. Like in one s4 movie “paradise lost”the punk rock boys who were into black clothes, rock music , horror/stephen king books- were accused by the town’s people of being gay AND have demonic powers that are k*lling fellow town’s people.

Mr Hauser says he thinks steve Harrington is Ralph from lord of the flies. And Robin disagrees saying he’s Jack. Personally- since this was when Robin didn’t know/hated Steve. I think Mr hauser is right that Steve is Ralph (one of the oldest boys) who’s “commitment to civilization and morality is strong”. But Jack  (perhaps the popular s4 kid Jake?) and his savage crew take control of the group and start trying to attack Ralph and his friends (steve’s crew- over satanic panic?). How this begins is -

 Jack, torments Ralph and others. And some kids begin to develop savage personalities, after someone claims to have seen a Beast (demongorgan?) in the woods. This creates fear among the boys, which allows Jack to access more power.Ralph gets into an argument with Jack, who splits from the tribe. Many of the other boys follow Jack, who uses fear to manipulate the boys into leaving Ralph. And Jack’s crew begin attacking Ralph and his friends.

----------------

Ok, next topic of ep 4- the sentimental part of my brain got emotional when hearing how upset Robin was. And than Mr Hauser-telling her she’s wrong and she’s not “broken” or “rotten” and “nothing about her needs to be fixed’” (got me right in the feels) . As a queer person- I feel like every lgbt+ kid/teen needs to hear what Mr. Hauser said to Robin. 

However,  the analytical part of my brain -did notice some easterggs/ series parallels.

The convo starts with them talking about music Mr hauser likes (such as Bowie). And transitions to Mr Haauser asking about things she likes, whether she’s being bullied, and he later tells her “ DON’T let other people’s small mindedness make you fell bad about yourself. you don’t need to change yourself-no matter what anyone else says” . And Mr Hauser than says him calling her the “weirdest girl in Hawkins” was a compliment (not an insult-like she initially assumed). 

This is remarkably similar to certain scenes in s1/2. In s1, Jonathan mentions musicians he likes such as Bowie, asks Will about what he likes,  and tells Will “don't like things cause people tell you you’re supposed to-especially not him (their dad who called him h*mophobic names)” . In s2, Jonathan tries to cheer Will up after asking if he's being being bullied. And calls Will  “a freak” (and says it’s a good thing) and he should be content with being a “freak “ and compares Will to Bowie ( who was openly queer since the 70s) . 

In ep 4, Robin also mentions how sad she is that her parents won’t let her ride her bike anymore cause their paranoid about her safety  (like what happened to Will in s2).

Robin (before Mr. Hauser comforts her) says she feels like she has a “rot” inside her  . This is a s2 eastergg that could be linked to either Will or El. Will says his now-memories are “growing”, spreading”, and killing.” Later Kali says the emotional pain caused by her father  caused a “wound” to “spread”. Later allusion-Brenner tells El she has a “terrible wound “ (“a rot”) that Will “grow, spread, and kill.”

The reason Robin rants about feeling like she has a “rot” inside her is because she’s being bullied, and  lost all her Hawkins friends and says  “maybe I’m broken maybe there is just something about me that drives people away? I’m the only common denominator-there’s something wrong with me! There’s something inside of me that’s just rotten and there’s nothing i can do to fix it”. Which 1)-poor Robin. 2) I feel like could easily be How Will feels in s4(who will be the same age as Robin is here in the podcast)- his dad abandoned him, all his hawkins friends are gone , the st s4 movies have h*mophobic bullying in them (and he was bullied in the past). In a interview Noah said Will in s4 “doesn’t really get along with people-it’s just him and Mike.”  I think it fits more so with Will than El . But they may feel similar:  it’s implied in s4 audition tapes she’ll be bullied too,  she moved away from her friends,  and her father (Hopper) fake “passed away.” It could easily be how both Will and El feel in s4- that there is  something “broken”/ “rotten” about them . In fact, in the rebel Robin novel there is even a character named Sheena. Sheena reminds me a bit of a mix between Will and el . She is very quiet, queercoded, and is often bullied. And she finds mean notes and other things stuffed  in her locker- placed there by bullies. A bit like how Will found the zombie-boy note in his locker. A teacher doesn’t stop her bullying just blames her and says “ This wouldn’t happen if you made it just a smidgen easier for PEOPLE to understand you.”(sort of reminding me of that Noah quote about s4 Will not getting along with most people/Jonathan saying not to change himself cause “people” say to). But sheena can be another name for Jane (there was also a 80s show character named Sheena who was psychic) so ...maybe foreshadowing of el/jane being bullied in highschool? Along with Will?

*It’s not a eastergg/parallel...just speculation. Unlike the rebel robin book... in the podcast (in multiple episodes) almost every time she opens up to Mr Hauser about her problems she says it’s ok for him to do the same and she’ll be supportive and listen. However, Mr Hauser (so far) always rejects her offer-much to her hurt/frustration. In ep 4, she asks if he has someone his “own age” he can talk to about his problems-which he says he does. Now... since in ep 4 Mr hauser is paralleled to Jonathan maybe Jonathan will have someone his own age to talk to about his problems (maybe his new friend Argyle?) We see similar to Mr Hauser giving advice/pep talks to (gay) Robin. Jonathan is always giving advice/peptalks to our (gay-coded) Will. But so far- Jonathan has no one he really emotionally leaned on in the same way (Will does with Jonathan). I also wonder if Will in s4 starts gets tired of how he always confides in Jonathan (but Jonathan never does the same with Will  in return)? Like Robin with Mr. Hauser?

[gophergal]

ASK ABOUT YOUR FIC?! I CAN DO THAT! SO! I am so fucking curious about your Myers fic and Jane. What was your inspo for starting the fic? Is there anything you do to get in the right headspace or vibe for writing it? I am very curious about Jane and anything else you wanna tell that you haven't yet would be so cool. I am also wondering what you like in particular about them being together, I know that we haven't gotten there in the fic but anything you are willing to share now!

HDBGCISVXYN HEY THANKS BEX

Wow, where to start!

(that's your warning that the post got away from me a bit)

Well, for one, this is actually the second iteration of the same basic fic from nearly two years ago! I've probably mentioned that before. The old one is from 2019, and can still be found on my AO3, though it's not as good. I've had a lot of improvement since I wrote it. I'm actually almost caught up to the old one plot wise while also nearly surpassing it in word count. Which is fucking hilarious to me

I started the original almost immediately after I joined the fandom in August 2019. I realized that my interpretation of Michael is a bit in the middle of the two major fanon Michaels.

At the time, I saw most people would do

A.) Cute Bishounen Michael Did Nothing Wrong UwU

Or

B.) This Man Sucks, He's Absolutely Evil, And He Will Stab You After You Fuck

Which are both valid! Both fun!

But neither really fit what I was looking for. My interpretation revolves around exploring Michael's abuse by Dr Loomis and his actual motivation for killing Judith because those don't seem to be explored very often. Which, also valid!

(Sometimes you just want to see him as a big murder hunk and that's cool)

Which means I kinda have to go on a tangent about my tinhat idea of what goes on in Michael's thick skull

I always thought that his first murder was very much the action of a young child experiencing jealousy (Judith hadn't been spending time with him anymore) and expressing it in a very extreme way. He didn't understand how badly he'd hurt his sister, only that he wanted to make her hurt too. That's admittedly a lot of projection on my part, but stay with me.

I don't think he ever got a chance to work through his feelings of jealousy or the sudden loss of his sister. Sure, Loomis "helped", but it's more or less confirmed that he saw a young boy suffering from mental illness, and become obsessed. There's a part in the novelization where Loomis confirms that he was obsessed when he first saw Michael and heard of the case. And then he called the boy evil.

Loomis said that he tried to help for years, but considering how other staff react to him and how he treats Michael, we can tell that his heavy sedation of a man he's meant to be treating is not a new development. Besides, mental health care in the 1960's-70's was... not great to put it lightly.

So I wanted to write a story which explored that through the lens of romance. I wanted someone to knock a hole through his walls and find the scared child inside, then I wanted her to spiral into a deeply unhealthy and fucked up relationship with him.

Jean's not exactly the peak of mental health herself. She's also got a bit of my experience in her (wow how shocking), and struggles with building relationships, asking for help, and making decisions overall. She's a bit of a shell of who she could be. And she's clingy. She's lost many people in her life and that causes her to latch on to any semblance of normalcy.

I believe I mentioned on my Gophercast that she was the result of a teen pregnancy and her father dipped out on her mom. Her Grandpa, however, was very supportive and helped raise her while her mom went to college. Her mom passed away from a sudden illness when Jean was a young teen and her grandpa continued to raise her after that. At the start of the story, it's been about three ish years since he passed away.

She projects onto Michael, aware of the danger of him, but unable to tear herself away. He's whatever she wants him to be. A blank slate. When that doesn't work for her, she gets angry, which puts her in danger.

I think Michael has two reasons for keeping her alive: she's useful, and she's new. He's not really interacted with someone like her before, but then again, he's never really had the chance to interact with anyone.

But that's enough of that lol. That pretty much explains why I like Jean and Michael together anyway. It's more of a thought exercise lol.

To get in the headspace to write this, I read the last chapter I published of it, then listen to a playlist I've made. I won't drop the whole thing, but most of the songs on it are obsessive and dark. I really enjoy songs sung from the pov of a stalker for this. I might list a few songs later if anyone's interested

Other than that, I just put some long winded and boring video/podcast on in the background and start writing. I might sample other folks' fanfic while taking a break, but I try not to steal their ideas

Anywho, I think I'll end that here for now since this is so wordy lol. I'll def talk about it more if anyone wants to know about anything else!

[sweetsmellosuccess]

TIFF 2020: Days 5 & 6

Films: 5

Best Film of the Day(s): New Order

Good Joe Bell: Or, The Education of a Straight White Father. What Reinaldo Marcus Green’s film lacks in depth, it tries hard to make up for with earnestness. Mark Wahlberg plays the real-life father, who was in the process of walking across America in honor of his gay son, who committed suicide after being badly bullied in his smalltown Oregon high school, before he was accidentally hit on the road and killed in Colorado, six months into his planned two-year sojourn. The story is cut up between the present, with Joe on the road, doing terse speaking engagements (as Wahlberg plays him, the taciturn Bell isn’t much for public speaking), at local high schools and churches, and flashbacks to the past, as his son, Jadin (Reid Miller), attempts to get through his high school experience while being the subject of bullying, both in-person and via the Internet, until he reaches his breaking point. The message is certainly resonant, and Miller plays Jadin with the right amount of heartbreaking pathos, but Green’s film feels unnecessarily mechanized in order to put Joe front and center of the story (using a hallucination of Jadin at the beginning, which allows Joe to interact with him feels more than a little manipulative). Bell, with his quick temper, and impatience for anything that’s not directly to do with him, is a reasonable stand-in for exactly the type of straight white male who should be watching the film (but more than likely won’t). Wahlberg is gifted at playing this sort of character, who wants to have the full attention of everyone any point in time he chooses (“Did you hear what I said?” he asks incredulously after making an announcement and not receiving the proper praise for it). He’s a complicated dude, which the film alludes to without entirely capturing: He’s ready to fight at a moment’s notice, but shies away from directly confronting any of Jadin’s tormentors; has the good intention to take action to draw attention to the problem, but doesn't seem the least bit prepared to give a speech that really makes an impact (one detail the film does make work: His manner of saying “I love you” to his wife or sons, but only as a way of getting them to say it back to him). Connie Britton plays Lola, Jadin’s mother, a largely thankless role as the nurturer of the family, loving both her sons (Jadin’s brother Joseph is played by Maxwell Jenkins), and staying supportive no matter their father’s attitude. Near the end of his journey, as Joe begins to see the true folly of his ways, he meets a Sheriff (Gary Sinise), whose oldest son is also gay, which allows the two men to sit on the front porch of the sheriff’s house and contemplate the ways in which their lives didn’t go as expected. It’s clearly meant for the kick-ass Wahlberg audience (as Jadin says earlier in the film, they’re the actual problem), but I very much doubt they will be heading in droves to see it.

New Order: Meet the new boss, only in Michel Franco’s damning portrait of a society locked forever in cycles of oppression, revolution, and new oppression, it makes no difference who you are, what your belief system is, or whether or not you subscribe to a moral set of ethics. After an ominous opening montage of imagery largely taken from the film to come, we shortly begin at a resplendent wedding held at the city manse of a wealthy businessman for his daughter, Marianne (Naian Gonzalez Norvind), and her betrothed, Alan (Dario Yazbek Bernal). As Marianne’s mother, Pilar (Patricia Bernal) happily secrets away the envelopes carrying the new couples’ gift money in her safe, and rich and powerful families co-mingle, the distant danger of a furious revolution, lead by violent rioters raising up against the economic disparities of the city, seems at first to be light-years away. Until it isn’t. As rioters infiltrate the house, with the help of an insider, chaos reigns and bullets fly. The next morning, many people have been shot, the house has been utterly pillaged, and Marianne has been taken hostage by a rogue group of military, who snatch up wealthy-seeming refugees and hold them for ransom at an undisclosed outpost. By film’s end, Franco, working from his own screenplay, leaves no man, woman, or child unmarked. The wealthy are callous and vain, the rioters bloodthirsty and cruel, the hostage takers unbelievably greedy and horrible, and the righteous vanquished by further corruption at even higher levels of power. It’s a bit like the ending of a Coen brothers picture (Burn After Reading comes to mind), in which all loose ends are closed, and few, if any, people are any the wiser for it; only, there’s nothing the least bit arch in Franco’s thrown gauntlet: We aren’t spared the worst of it by indelible Coens’ proxies. We are all to blame, it would seem, and it has nothing to do with original sin: Our conniving, violent nature will undo any and all attempts to curb it. Insatiable avarice is our continual undoing, washing over us like the green paint the rioters hurl at passing cars and pedestrians, marking them as the enemy. In Franco’s thunderous film, nobody emerges unscathed; we’re all set on fire.

Wildfire: It’s a hoary Hollywood staple to substitute individuals as emotional stand-ins to capture the direness of historic catastrophic events, scaling everything down so we care more about the couple in star-crossed love than the war going on all around them. In Cathy Brady’s Irish drama, however, a pair of sisters are reunited after a year’s absence in the North Ireland bordertown in which they grew up, products of the uneasy peace, post-Troubles, in which everyone is meant to get along as one country, though hard feelings still abound. Kelly (Nika McGuigan) returns to the staid home of her sister, Lauren (Nora-Jane Noone), after taking off on her own the year before, and, by all appearances, living as a vagabond. Initially thrilled to have her sister back, Lauren is also still angry with her for taking off suddenly and not making any contact since. When the girls were little, their father was killed in a political bombing, and their mother might have committed suicide as a result (the car accident that killed her was, apparently, suspicious). Left to their own devices, then, they developed a fierce protective shell against any outsiders, including, it turns out Lauren’s increasingly concerned husband (Martin McCann), and longtime family friend Veronica (Joanne Crawford). The film changes gears when Lauren finally accepts Kelly again, and the two reform their partnership as intense as it was before. As the film points out, in a real sense, they are all each other truly have in the aftermath of their tragic childhood. The film clicks better into focus as well in its final act, when the sisters are reunited against all comers, and the world around them is better revealed for what it is: They represent the schism still very much a part of their community that no one else wants to see. Instead, people hang about in bars, or at work, nursing the bitternesses and hurts of the Troubles in private, and putting their public energy to getting along. Kelly, with her wildnesses and significant impulse control issues (trying to teach a young boy how to hold his breath underwater is, perhaps, not best accomplished by holding him down until he begins to panic), is at least honest with her feelings, open to her various wounds, and refusing to put the past behind them. Their mother gets referred to as “crazy” in the town’s estimation, but it’s more likely she, like her two daughters, represents the clear-eyed view of someone who refuses to live in denial.

Concrete Cowboy: Philadelphia as an open prairie has a nice vibe, and Ricky Staub’s film about a troubled teen who mother takes him from Detroit to where his father, an urban cowboy, lives in North Philly in hopes to setting the kid straight, is made with genuine care and gets solid performances from its mixture of professional and amateur actors. If this sounds like faintly damning praise, it’s only because despite its strengths, it still feels like a great set-up in search of a suitable story. Based on the real-life Fletcher Street stables (and the novel from Greg Neri), in which locals on the rough streets of the city shelter and take care of a group of horses for the sheer love of riding, the story follows the difficult maturation of Cole (Caleb McLaughlin), a decent enough kid, but searching for his place in the world, and the tough-love tactics of his dad, Harp (Idris Elba), a longtime cowboy, who hasn’t been in his son’s life in more than a decade. Cole starts out hating everything about his new situation, from Harp’s barebones lifestyle (not only are the cupboards empty, and the fridge filled with nothing but Coke and Bud Light, Harp keeps one of his horses in the living room, sharing it with his son), to being forced to muck the stalls out at the stables to earn his chance to ride, takes up with an old friend, Smush (Jharrel Jerome), a charismatic kid caught up in the drug life. Naturally, Cole’s choice comes down to which sort of life he wants to have, his father’s hardscrabble but honest approach (made more attractive when Cole develops a bond with his own horse, Boo), or Smush’s push for increased market share and more money to buy his own piece of land out West. Shot on location in North Philly, and around the city  —  one shot, in which Cole sits astride boo in full silhouette against a mottled purple sky, the lampposts standing in for saguaros, hits just the right note -- Staub’s film has a properly gritty texture, and the use of some of the real Fletcher cowboys adds further verisimilitude, but the story moves predictably enough, beat-by-beat, that it doesn’t hit with the potency it might have been capable of with a less predictable narrative arc.  

In a year of bizarre happenings, and altered realities, TIFF has shifted its gears to a significantly paired down virtual festival. Thus, U.S. film critics are regulated to watching the international offerings from our own living room couches.

[dvp95]

throw your head back laughing

pairing: chris kendall/pj liguori rating: teen & up tags: outsider pov, au, established relationship, idiots in love word count: 1657 summary: Cara has to wonder how much of it is performative. Of course she does; everything she knows about this game points to them being in a Scene of some sort. They seem to genuinely enjoy each other's company, if nothing else.

written for the LOVELY @jestbee <3 happy goddamn birthday jane!!!!!! you’ve been such a good pal to me and i hope i can make you smile with this stupid thing!!!!!

read on ao3 or here!

"Hello, welcome to -" Cara cuts herself off in the middle of her spiel when she looks up from the podium. Two men stand in front of her for probably the ninth time this year, matching grins on their faces as they watch the recognition wash over her. She smiles, closer to a real one than a customer service one, and gestures behind her. "Your table is available. Do you need me to escort you?"

"Thanks, love," one of them says with a wink, "but I think we can manage."

He takes his companion by the sleeve and makes a beeline for a table near the middle of the restaurant, the same one they always go for. Cara bites back a laugh as she makes eye contact with one of the waitstaff.

Nate makes a big show of sighing and turning back around to tell the kitchen at large about their arrivals. She can't hear it from here, but Cara knows that people who have been here long enough are either thrilled or frustrated, and the new hires are probably just confused. When Nate is looking at her again, Cara taps her glasses and holds up three fingers. He makes a note on his order pad. She wonders how big the betting pool is going to be this time.

The men are, as always, ensconced in their own little world the moment their asses hit the seats. Their long legs overlap under the table in a comfortable, familiar sort of way, and they talk to each other with such dramatic hand gestures that Cara wishes she could hear the topic that's got them so riled up.

Sometimes she makes excuses to walk by their table and eavesdrop. So far she's learned that they're passionate about science fiction, craft supplies, what specific colour the ceiling is painted, and gender expression. It doesn't seem to matter if they're talking about the sliding scale of acceptable femininity for men to show in public or how easy it would be to build a robot out of cardboard - they have the same amount of enthusiasm, every time.

Cara has to wonder how much of it is performative. Of course she does; everything she knows about this game points to them being in a Scene of some sort. They seem to genuinely enjoy each other's company, if nothing else.

It's always a strange atmosphere for the first half hour or so after they've been seated. They talk and they eat and they seem oblivious to the wary eyes of the staff around them, even though anyone with half a brain knows they're fully aware of the attention on them. The only time they left without anything happening was when the place was practically empty and there was no audience of unsuspecting patrons for their nonsense.

That had been a different sort of anticipation. Like the whole building had been waiting for a beat that never dropped. The men had left without fanfare, and every employee had gone home perplexed.

The general consensus, up to that point, had been that they did this for the free food and champagne, but their need for some kind of audience opened up a Pandora's box of possible motivations. Nate's convinced that they're doing some sort of social experiment, one of the line chefs thinks they must be YouTubers or something, and a very optimistic new waitress has been positing that maybe it's genuine every time.

"Maybe one of them has short term memory problems," she'd explained to Cara. "Or they're very on-again off-again."

Cara had nodded along at the time, but she's not buying it. It's the grins on their faces every time they meet her at the hostess podium that convince her they know exactly what they're up to.

As far as Cara can tell, they might just do it for the hell of it.

Forty-something minutes after the men are seated, the signs start to show themselves. Cara drifts over to Nate and nudges him, interrupting his bussing for something much more entertaining. He grins and turns around. Neither of them make an effort to hide that they're staring, because it's happened seven or so times before.

The man in glasses is twitching like he's nervous, all of a sudden, and keeps patting at the same spot in his jacket. Cara might find it sweet if she hadn't seen it so many times.

"Ha," she whispers. "Told you it was him this time."

"They don't have a pattern," Nate argues. He's always a little prickly when he loses.

"But only one of them is wearing a jacket," Cara points out. "So obviously, it was going to be him. Is it a 50/50 split again?"

Nate sighs and shakes his head, pulling out his notepad as the men start talking in low voices across the small table. "No, most people guessed the other guy. You're only splitting the win with two of the cooks."

"Nice."

It seems like Nate wants to whinge some more, but then the man in glasses is standing up. The waitstaff all pause in what they're doing and turn to look, prompting the other diners to look as well. With hilariously awkward movements for how practised Cara knows the motion is, he drops to one knee and takes his companion's hand in both of his own. Some of the diners gasp or whisper amongst themselves; the waitstaff mostly just seem annoyed to lose the pool.

"Christopher," the man starts. His voice trembles the perfect amount, and Cara is reluctantly impressed by how sincere they make this seem every time.

"Oh my god," Christopher stage whispers. Cara wonders if that's actually his name.

"We've been friends for so long," the man continues, "and I've been so deeply in love with you for most of those years - I couldn't believe it when you first agreed to see a film with me in a non-platonic sort of way."

Out of the corner of his mouth, Nate murmurs, "What the hell is that accent? I can't place it for the life of me."

"Not sure," says Cara. "He just sort of sounds like he's on telly, doesn't he? Like a presenter?"

"D'you think there are hidden cameras?"

"Surely we'd have seen it somewhere if there were."

"But why else -"

"Shh," says Cara.

They're all so familiar with this song and dance that she knows Christopher is going to fan at his face with his free hand and then start tearing up. Watching him cry on demand is her favourite part. They can argue about motivations once they've left.

Sure enough, Christopher is wiping at his eyes and grinning down at his partner in crime. "Are you serious? Of course I'll marry you."

The other diners applaud politely when the men embrace. Cara makes a mental note of those who aren't, those who roll their eyes and mutter things to their companions, those who look upset when Christopher tugs the other man into a short, sweet kiss. She's not sure if it's a perk or a curse to know which of their regulars hate her, but it's certainly useful to know who to sit by the loo.

"Better bring them their celebratory fucking champagne," Nate sighs.

"Every goddamn time," Cara says, unable to hide the fondness in her voice. She can't help but root for these idiots. "Don't forget to comp their food."

"That's not even why they do this," says Nate. He's whinging, but Cara knows it's not actually a bother to him.

Nate's right; the free food and champagne clearly isn't the reason they've proposed to each other a half dozen times in the middle of their restaurant, but it's probably a bonus. Just like weeding out the homophobes on the staff is a bonus.

When everyone goes back to their dinners and their jobs and the newly-engaged-again men are back in their seats, Cara approaches them.

"Congratulations," she says, tucking her hair behind her ear. She sees the way Christopher's eyes linger on her interlocked Venus tattoo. He holds tighter to his fiancé's hand and gives her the same shit-eating grin as whenever they ask her for a table.

"Thanks, love."

"I'm Cara," she says, tapping at her name tag. "Just so you know how to address the invitation."

The man in glasses laughs, loud. He still seems like he's performing in some way, but a look passes between them and makes his voice softer, less put-on. "I promise that we would," he says, "except that we got married eight years ago."

Cara bites back a cackle of her own and shakes her head, trying not to make eye contact with any of her curious coworkers. She's definitely keeping this one to herself - you never know when another opportunity to win a betting pool will present itself, after all - so she doesn't exactly want to draw attention to the conversation.

"Alright," she says. "I better go back to work."

"Don't you want to know why we do this?" the man in glasses asks, sounding a bit put out.

Cara shrugs. "For the hell of it, right?"

Another look passes between them, and Christopher tips an invisible hat to her. "Pretty and smart, eh? Do you accept tips?"

Technically, no. And while she thinks she probably deserves one for this, Cara knows she's got a good chunk of everyone else's tip money tonight.

"Do you?" she asks instead. "Because I've got a tip for ya. You should try saying no next time."

"Saying no?" Christopher echoes, grinning across the table.

"We haven't tried that," his husband agrees. "Not as much fun, maybe, but surely the sympathy from it will make up for that."

"Plus, I can cry more."

Cara snorts and heads back to her podium. As curious as she is, she thinks it'll be more fun to wait and see how it pans out the next time they wander in to shake things up.

[joesbbqandfootmassage]

We need to talk about Jane and Carlos…

So if someone had to ask me what one of the most underrated things in the world was, I would definitely say dcoms. (Disney Channel Original Movies)

They’re cheesy and dumb and not a single one lacks their flaws.

But they are still just so fun to watch and you just get a whole new experience from watching dcoms than you do any other movie.

Now among all those dcoms is a sub genre of musicals, being made popular by the one and only High School Musical trilogy. But we also have the Cheetah Girls, Teen Beach Movie, ZOMBIES, and the Descendants.

Now while all of those movie series are amazing in their own right, I’m gonna zero in on Descendants.

Kenny Ortega’s big return to Disney Channel and oh my gosh was it hyped up.

You couldn’t go two minutes watching Suite Life on Deck reruns without having this shoved in your face.

And you’d be dang right if you thought I was excited to see it. The children of iconic Disney characters all in one shared universe? Sign me the heck up!

Of course we got rid of cable before it came out and it would be maybe two years later until i finally considered watching it with my sister.

Needless to say our reaction could be boiled down to, “Oh. Oh no.”

Love it or hate it, as a movie lover I can say that D1 is a fundamentally broken movie on every level.

Nothing is developed enough and it relies way too heavily on you loving Mal as a character. Spoiler alert, I don’t.

But regardless of that, D1 also introduced me to a guy named Carlos De Vil.

Now i will never be able to comprehend WHY on Earth, puppy-skinning, vampire bat, inhumane beast, Cruella De Vil would EVER do the do with anyone and then still keep the baby after not killing it during pregnancy.

But she did and there he was.

Canonically physically and mentally abused by his mother to such a degree that he wakes up at night screaming.

Something Disney had never really had the guts to do before.

And immediately he charmed the heck out of me because regardless of how awful he had it on the Isle, it didn’t take a genius to see that he was a genuinely a good person at heart.

He was so clearly different and that was shown through maybe a culmination of like five minutes of screen time and Cameron’s incredible acting abilities.

And he deserved so much more in those movies than what was given to him but I won’t complain.

Because we still need to talk about another sweetheart.

Jane gets even less development than Carlos which is to be expected since she isn’t a main character, but you can still figure out and understand her if you read between the lines.

In D1 you not only get the fact that she likes to hide in her own little bubble, but she’s also incredibly insecure. So much so that Mal is quickly able to see it and take advantage of it.

Spending her whole life having to repeat that it’s not the outside that matters, it’s the inside, even though she doesn’t completely believe.

And then someone comes forward and basically validates her in her belief that she isn’t pretty, but she could be if she stopped focusing on the inside.

That’s what leads to her downward spiral throughout the movie as she lets her newfound “beauty” (seriously bobbed hair is cute and Disney needs to calm down) go to her head and she turns on Mal and the rest of the VKs.

Now while I find Mal to be completely irrational, her reversing Jane’s spell makes sense.

It’s Jane’s actions that follow.

Her, so desperate to be beautiful (literally she is so gorgeous how?) deciding to steal her mother’s wand isn’t paced very well and doesn’t make a lot of sense in the plot. But they just wanted to avoid Mal being the cause of the barrier being brought down so her redemption would be easier.

A classic Kylo Ren of avoiding direct contact and having it all be indirect so they can easily be forgiven later.

Now by all means after her actions that day, I’m surprised Jane herself isn’t sent to jail.

But I guess in D3 they show that they have an AK bias so whatever.

Now the important thing about this is that Carlos is there for all of Jane’s worst moments.

The moments where she is not at her best emotionally and it’s manifesting in bad ways. He knows that Mal had planned to use her to get to the wand in the first place before dumping her when that wasn’t going anywhere.

He knows that’s she’s afraid of them by the way she reacts to them in her first scene in Goodness Class.

He knows all of that.

And he still drags her onto a dance floor, refusing to let her be alone.

You could argue that Jay was there too, but her immediately ditched to jump on the Audrey train so…

This small moment, Carlos’ selfless act of kindness, plants a seed that most people laughed at or rolled their eyes - but all the same it was there.

And that little seed began to grow until two years later (six months in the actual movies) we get a beautiful Janelos flower.

Now D2 Janelos is some quality stuff and never have I seen so many people hate a ship that hasn’t done anything wrong.

And I think it’s fitting that Carlos’ arc for D2 is all centered around Jane.

In the first movie, he conquered his fear of dogs.

Now in this movie, he conquers his fear of being rejected by her.

Now if you’re an over analyzer by nature and a Carlos stan by choice, you tend to pick up on subtleties that Disney doesn’t have the guts to cover. Most notably, Carlos being touch/affection starved

You can see it in the ways his mother doesn’t show him love outside of threats and total, emotional reliance. In the way the VKs don’t particularly reciprocate his touches unless absolutely necessary. Or unless you’re Jay and you need to pull and alpha male moment and start wrastling.

And you can definitely see it in the way he thrives off of contact with Dude, and later, Jane.

Now somehow you people don’t think it is absolutely incredible that Carlos De Vil, physically and emotionally abused since birth, grew up on the Isle where love and dating were not a common place thing, fell in love.

And with the girl that was afraid of him in the first movie.

And omg I could talk about Carlos “Heart Eyes” De Vil forever and ever. Amen.

But instead I’m gonna talk about the three most major Janelos scenes in the film.

First one is gonna be the truth gummy scene.

First of all, Carlos’ puppy dog eyes when he’s thinking about Jane restore my life to the full one million years I am supposed to live.

People you are not allowed to overlook what Carlos was going to do in this short and beautiful scene.

Because he’s never really lived a life where he can speak his mind and share his feelings, the whole movie he’s struggling to even figure out how he can open up to Jane.

Not change his personality to get her attention.

Not making a love potion that’ll force her to love him.

No, he decides that the only way to approach it is honesty - by that I mean he agrees to sacrifice lying for the rest of his mortal life. And Mal gives him plenty of reasons to back out, most of them being about her but still, and he simply replies, “I’ll take my chances.”

Ugh.

The world did not do anything good enough to earn Carlos De Vil.

But the thing is, the truth gummy is his only hope to help him spit out how he feels about Jane. Because whenever he’s in her presence all he can do is freeze up and stutter. Simply due to the fact that when he’s faced with the chance, Carlos has no clue how to describe what he feels and what he wants.

But he knows that his heart does.

It’s in there somewhere and dang he’s gonna get it out because he cares about her so much and just wants to TELL her how he feels when he looks at her.

Of course then Dude eats it and all those years Carlos’ heart eyes had given me instantly went away again.

And then the whole Janelos plot line takes a bit of a nap until the third act of the movie when Carlos decides that Mal alienating herself from the Core Four ain’t helping her mental health and their friendship.

That’s when he drops the absolute BARS of knowledge, “Then don’t.”

He tells her that she never should change herself just to make someone else happy, you’ll never know if they really love you that way.

And I just wanna take a moment to wonder where Carlos got all these strong good person energies, because being raised on an Isle where love and dating aren’t even concepts should show in all the VKs.

Yet in D2 and D3 we can see that Carlos and Evie both seem to approach love with an impressive maturity that I can’t even fathom how they figured it out.

His advice is a comfort to Mal as well as Jay’s protective big brother move, and then we get to see the way his own advice affects him.

His Lovecraftian horror paraphrases what he said in the earlier conversation, “If she doesn’t love you for who you are than she isn’t the one.”

But this applies differently than in the Ben/Mal situation.

Carlos doesn’t try to change who he is or how he acts (unless you count the sacrificing lying thing but that wasn’t really used to earn her love so) but he gets the general idea.

And so, Carlos offers himself to her.

Just him, and a date and his love because that’s all he has to give her.

And she can either say yes and accept him and he can finally begin to understand what he’s feeling.

Or, she can turn him away - not wanting anything to do with what he has for her.

Which leads to such a beautiful scene, ugh I could write songs about the Janelos confession scene it’s that good.

First you see Carlos running at the speed of sound just to catch her, and he was definitely running around the whole campus because he absolutely needed to do this before he chickened out like every other time in the movie.

And at first it doesn’t seem to click in Jane’s head, because she’s only ever been just Jane.

Not pretty like Audrey or athletic like Lonnie.

Boys didn’t flirt with her or ask her out on dates, certainly not the boys she liked.

So of course, like the other times he had tried, she just wasn’t getting it. Too preoccupied with party planning and not getting her hopes up to let it sink in.  And that’s when Carlos does something that he didn’t even need a truth gummy to do.

He gives her a list of all that he can give her, looking into her eyes and waiting for her to take or leave it

And not only does she take it, but she fully adds all the things on the list that she’s always wanted to do with him, giving herself right back to him in the process.

Leaving Carlos absolutely shocked and overwhelmed and happy.

He just figured she’d either say yes or no.

Her giving herself to him wasn’t even a consideration in his mind.

And then she throws him for a loop once again, by throwing her arms around him and holding him tight.

And honestly, Carlos’ reaction says it all.

The first time somebody initiated legitimate affection towards him, and it’s from the girl he loves no less.

He’s at a loss for words and can’t even fathom what he’s feeling, but finally, Carlos is the one hugging back. Clinging onto her for dear life because it’s almost like he can’t believe this is real.

The next time we see them, they’re both looking super fine at cotillion; and let me tell you that seeing touch starved Carlos finally getting to hold hands and cuddle with his girlfriend makes me weak every time. You can see that for now, they’re figuring it out, they’ve both been super far away from the whole love thing so now they’ve just gotta go at a healthy pace for them.

Regardless of that, you can really see how much they not only love but need each other.

And then it was gonna be another two years until we’d get to figure what the writers were gonna do with Janelos, if anything at all.

During that time I had gotten well acquainted with the horrifying wall of Janelos hate you had to walk along before getting occasional content. So obviously, I chose to have nothing to do with the fandom and then Janelos fell off my radar again until I found the nerve to watch the third movie.

And oh my goodness remember just a few lines ago when I said that Jane and Carlos needed each other?

That was the key point of their story in D3.

While I think it’s poorly shown, Carlos’ character arc from a quiet abuse victim with a good heart to an honest to goodness hero (I’m talking the kinds they write songs about) is just amazingly beautiful and deserved so much more screen time than it actually got.

In D3, Carlos finally has something to lose.

Or, more accurately, something he needs to protect.

I really wish they had zeroed in on him worrying about Jane more, because while it was still there it wasn’t very focused on.

Not that I can be mad because their reuniting scene was something that made me immediately sit up in my chair and go, “Oh my fluffing gosh they have a thing.”

Like I’m sorry, what?

You’re telling me that whenever they cling to each other like that Carlos has that same look of just, pure happiness.

“She loves me and I love her, I’m never letting her go.”

Carlos De Vil went from someone who had never known or felt love in his life, to loving a girl so much it made me fall out of my chair.

D3 just wanted to remind us that the VKs have come very far, and now they’re happy and loved and we don’t need to worry about them.

All I can say is that Jane and Carlos are just an amazing couple if you step back and just look at what it means for them to be together.

A touch starved abuse victim and an insecure cheerleader fell in love and surrendered their hearts completely. And you don’t see that anywhere near Disney as a franchise, much less dcoms.

Bottom line, I know I went off for a hot minute but if we’re being honest I still have about a trillion things I could say about “Jarlos.”

But I’m pretty sure I’ve elaborated enough  to get my point across.

I just wanna say that Carlos would literally never let his mother come anywhere near the light of his life and that was some total BS.

[7fwmrdcg-blog]

Home business and home insurance?

Home business and home insurance?

What s the risk when running a home business if your home insurance provider (not business insurance) become aware of your home business operations. What will happen and/or can happen. If you have a business insurance can your home insurance premium go up as a result of having a home business?

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :insurancefreerates.top

SOURCES:

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[kilroy-lucy]

version of me

'Cause I got some trauma, some family drama Just thought I'd warn you You have a hard time making sense of this I'm the most low-key masochist The wrong place if you're looking for Heaven So I got one question Can you love the version of me I don’t let anybody else see

Lucy was nervous and a nervous Lucy wasn't good news for anyone. She had no idea why she'd agreed to go to Ian's family's Christmas party, but there she was standing in front of her mirror in one of her more family appropriate dresses, debating whether or not red lipstick was too much to get away with. Bright red lips were her mother's favorite look, but Blair could pull it off. Lucy? Not so much. God, she was so stupid to pretend that this was a normal occurrence for her, going to someone's house to play nice and meet the parents. That wasn't her at all. She'd never let herself get that into someone to let herself get invited over for something as formal as meeting their entire family and in all honesty, she really didn't want to meet Ian's family. She knew of his sister, Jane, but she knew nothing about his parents. She still didn't really know anything about him when she really thought about it. If someone asked her why she even liked Ian, she wasn't really sure. They hadn't really spent all that much time together since meeting, but there was just something about him that went beyond her just thinking he was hot - which he was. Completely and totally hot. She'd always cringed at the idea of dating someone younger than her, even if it was only by a year or so, but she just kept coming back to him even when she knew she shouldn't. It wasn't completely uncharacteristic of her to stab someone in the back to get what she wanted, but Ruby? How could she treat someone who was practically her baby sister like that just for a guy? In all honesty, she had been trying to convince herself that it was okay, that everyone knew Ruby was crushing on Harry much harder than she was on Ian. Ian was just a blip in her relationship timeline, the first boy to date her because the first one should always be someone kind and cute to give her the experiences she should have before dating the bad ones. He wasn't the one that would last for her, and maybe, just maybe, once she had him out of her system, she wouldn't care about Lucy taking him. And it wasn't like Lucy was getting sloppy seconds, he had been hers first. Is that why she wanted him, though? Because she had had him first? She shook her head at the thought, that wasn't why and she knew it. She tried to play it off that way at first to convince herself that her feelings weren't involved with a boy she hardly knew, but anyone with eyes could see that when Ian was around, Lucy was a puddle of mush. She become un-Lucy-like and that was the most terrifying part about it to her. Despite the tough demeanor, she was actually soft underneath it all. She was still a girl who got butterflies when being too close and giddy when something cheesy was spoken to her, but she rarely showed it. That was a sign of weakness and weakness wasn't a trait that was viewed kindly in her family. Turning to a knock on her door, she found her mom standing in the entryway holding two cups of tea. Lucy forced a tight smile at her before looking back into the mirror, avoiding eye contact with her. The last time they'd talked, Blair had screamed at her and when that happened, the two of them stayed away from each other for awhile to let the other one calm down. It was an unspoken agreement that the two had made when Lucy entered her teen years and it worked out perfectly for them. "Where are you going?" Blair sipped her tea carefully, eyeing her daughter up and down while Lucy glanced back at her through the glass. She wasn't sure if Blair really cared or if she was just going to tell her she couldn't go, so Lucy shrugged. "Nowhere special," she answered, smoothing down the skirt of her dress. That as it, she decided. She was changing into something else. She sighed, turning around to look at her mom. "Can you unzip me?" Her mom nodded, setting down her cup on Lucy's desk before walking towards her. "I thought you looked nice." Lucy sighed, holding the dress to her chest to keep it from falling. "It looks like I'm trying too hard." "For what?" "Street walking." The side eye from her mom wasn't enough to keep Lucy from grinning at her joke. The two of them weren't best friends anymore, Lucy knew that, Blair knew that, so when Lucy reached for a pair of jeans from her closet, her mom turned the other way, reaching back towards her tea, talking to her without seeing her. "Jeans are more comfortable for that." Lucy snickered. She was in a good mood, which was mostly rare for Blair. Growing up, Lucy was well aware of Blair's bipolar disorder and how to behave around her when she was going through one of her bad periods. Unfortunately, that mixed with Lucy's hormonal changes when she turned thirteen had broken most of the ties that were there when she was younger, when her and Blair had been each other's best friends. But she loved moments like this, when Blair could just talk to her and she could actually say the things she wanted to say to her mom, like most other girls her age could. Blair appeared next to Lucy, shifting through her clothes in the closet along with her daughter, picking out shirts and holding them up, before they both decided on one. While Lucy slid it on, Blair picked out shoes to finish it off. "He'll like it," Blair said, nodding in approval before giving Lucy a soft smile as she disappeared. It was funny, that Blair could know something without Lucy having to tell her just like Lucy did for Blair when it was just the two of them all those years ago. She stared in the mirror, deciding not to change a thing. 

[theolddarkmachine]

desert smoke & aries rising

There was something about weed and starlight that was inherently romantic to Keith. Maybe it was the way those very stars he looked up to seemed to burrow their way into the spaces between his ribs with each inhale. Maybe it was the combination of the constellations with the heady scent of musky floral.

Most likely, it was because if he was sitting on the roof, tracking the likes of Andromeda and Scorpius with a joint between his lips, he wasn’t alone.

“I wonder what everyone would say if they knew my supplier was the Takashi Shirogane,” he mused, each word carrying a cloud across his lips. It had never escaped Keith that the biggest joke of all was that the Garrison’s pride and joy was also the one with the best bud on campus.

It’s medicinal, Shiro had once said when Keith didn’t know better.

Medicinal, my ass, Keith had said, because he’d always known better.

Warnings: Rated T for Teen for making out and getting high.

Word count: 2k

AO3

A/N: I CAN NEITHER CONFIRM OR DENY MY OWN EXPERIENCES WITH MARY JANE. However, if I did so happen to have any, my favorite strain would probably be called Space Queen. This was partially inspired by @acatnamedskai ‘s smoky Sheiths ( x // x ) that originally got the idea of Sheith and weed stuck in my head. And also somehow partially inspired by a drive home from volunteering and shuffle hitting me with some Panic! at the Disco. yall i just dont even know either okay

*********************************

There was something about weed and starlight that was inherently romantic to Keith. Maybe it was the way those very stars he looked up to seemed to burrow their way into the spaces between his ribs with each inhale. Maybe it was the combination of the constellations with the heady scent of musky floral.

Most likely, it was because if he was sitting on the roof, tracking the likes of Andromeda and Scorpius with a joint between his lips, he wasn’t alone.

“I wonder what everyone would say if they knew my supplier was the Takashi Shirogane,” he mused, each word carrying a cloud across his lips. It had never escaped Keith that the biggest joke of all was that the Garrison’s pride and joy was also the one with the best bud on campus.

It’s medicinal, Shiro had once said when Keith didn’t know better.

Medicinal, my ass, Keith had said, because he’d always known better.

A shoulder pressed playfully into the meat of his arm as Shiro leaned in close, plucking the spliff easily from between his fingers as Keith marveled at the way the contact was interpreted through his skin as a gilded thrum. He would never admit that he was a quantifiable weed lightweight, but if he did, he would say that a couple hits was all he needed to turn simple touches into painted colors that left his mind reeling.

Good thing he wasn’t admitting it.

“No one would believe you, bad boy,” Shiro laughed darkly around the moniker before pinching the joint between his thumb and forefinger, bringing it carefully to his lips before he sucked in a deep breath. For a moment, Keith let himself get lost in the way his cheeks hollowed around the inhale.

For another, he recalled how Shiro’s cheeks had hollowed the same way earlier around a different kind of suck.

Seconds past as the older cadet let the smoke settle into his lungs, coating it with the earthy sour taste of their favorite bud. All the while he held Keith’s gaze, waiting until he knew good and well that he was truly seeing him before dropping a deadly wink.

Heat rose up from the forest fire in his chest and flooded to his cheeks, turning them a light pink that he’d be embarrassed about if he didn’t already feel the buzz of the smoke that shook all his other shames away.

“You make being a bad boy sound hot,” he hummed thoughtfully as he Shiro offered him the joint again. While he knew he probably shouldn’t, the bright shock of the cherry was oh so inviting.

Almost as inviting as the lips that had just kissed it with more life.

A smirk twitched at the corner of Shiro’s mouth before he exhaled a near opaque curtain of smoke that masked all but the sharp spark of his silver eyes.

“You are hot,” he said simply with a shrug as if it was the most natural and obvious thing. Of course, to Shiro, it probably was. Keith didn’t have any qualms about how his boyfriend felt about him. He knew, just as much as Shiro knew how he felt. They were vocal enough about it, and when words just weren’t enough to capture the way their veins burned with want, they translated it through touch.

That didn’t stop the way those three simple words made his stomach flip and his heart jolt.

Some would call it sappy.

Keith would call it love. With a side of some Space Queen.

“Shut up,” he said without heat before he pushed the filter between his teeth and knocked his shoulder against Shiro’s in soft retaliation. Dragging in another long breath of hazy burnt earth, he focused on the way it twisted and burned its way down his throat. It sent a rush to his head in the most satisfyingly dizzy way as he turned his eyes towards the sky, not missing the way the pinpricks of light dragged into lines before his vision could catch up.

They really were beautiful. Not that they weren’t always.

There had been two reasons why Keith had come to the Galaxy Garrison. The first being that he really didn’t have any other option. Iverson had plucked him from a holding cell in the local jail after he’d stolen the man’s hover bike and “shown him some of the best racing style he’d ever seen.”

Get in a simulator, and I’ll drop the charges, the man had said in a commanding voice. If anyone asked, Keith would have told them that it was nothing more than a good business decision.

Really, it was the second reason, which was the never ending stretch of stars that littered the desert sky each night.

There hadn’t been much that Keith could depend on in his life. Other people were always a letdown, and life always seemed to like to remind him of that, but the stars? They had always been there for him in a way that no one else had been and the Garrison stood like a shiny and chrome beacon trying to help him finally find a place amongst them.

Of course, then he’d been a dumb kid with a chip on his shoulder and some pointed, bony fists.

Now?

Well, now he was still a dumb kid with hard fists, but he’d also found someone as reliable as the inky night sky.

Takashi Shirogane. Noble silver. Just like the starlight they both shared a deep rooted love for. Keith hated to say it felt like fate.

But…

“The bud has you thoughtful tonight, babe,” Shiro’s voice was a purr at his ear as his nose brushed against the soft waves around it, sending a shock of neon tickles racing down his spine and eliciting a sharp laugh that expelled smoke upwards towards the heavens. Fingers brushed over the bow of his lips as they gently pulled the blunt from between them.

“No,” Keith said in a hush, violet gaze painting itself over the shape of Aries above them as he raised a hand to gesture to it. “It’s just—”

Words escaped him as he tried to string together the proper sentiments to explain to Shiro just how beautiful he thought it all was. Beautiful, gorgeous and devastatingly magnificent just didn’t seem to sum it up. If he could, he would just something about how the pinpricks of faraway light gave him the same feeling of awe as the bright polished silver of Shiro’s eyes and then maybe he would get it.

Only everything he wanted to say was a swirl of haze and lightning that ran through his body, unruly and unattainable.

“I know,” Shiro breathed, leaving a shock of heat burning across his cheek before he soothed it away with a gentle kiss. “We’re going to be up there one day.”

It was another simple statement that painted Keith’s insides bright yellow. We’re going to be up there one day. Simple and easy, and as obvious as the sky being up and the sea being down.

He could have said as much, but even the three letters of ‘yes’ stuck themselves to the inside of his throat. Instead, Keith turned his head quickly, capturing Shiro’s lips with his own. It was a sweet thing, tinged with the edge of sour smoke that still hung on their tongues. Without preamble, and without breaking the contact, Keith rolled over his hip, deftly crawling into Shiro’s lap and wrapping his arms around his neck.

The sweetness was quickly chased away by something much more sloppy, and much more natural as he opened into the kiss, pressing forward with his tongue and licking the back of Shiro’s teeth. He felt the steady slide of his boyfriend’s hands as the skimmed up and over his ribs, the soft poke of the joint still clutched in the v of his fingers drawing a ticklish line along the heat that spread with them.

“Keith.” His name was a moan that he swallowed as he ground his hips down, the sensation of it cracking his lips into a devilish smile. Behind his sternum, he could feel the expanding formation of a whole new universe that was sure to burn him alive if he wasn’t careful.

Gently, Keith pulled back.

“Baby,” Shiro said in a hush as he chased after him with half lidded eyes and peony petal lips. The sight of him pushed the solar flare closer to being as Keith pushed his fingers up the nape of his neck, catching the growing hair hair there between their spaces. He was always beautiful, but like this, he was stunning. A paragon of everything Keith could have ever hoped to dream for, except even then his dreams never did line up just right.

There was no way he could have ever been creative enough to come up with a dream like Shiro.

Holding his sterling gaze within the amethyst of his own, Keith reached his other hand towards his side to pull the still smoldering joint from Shiro’s fingers. It didn’t have much left, maybe a hit or two, but they had never been a pair to let anything go to waste. Silver turned molten as Shiro watched Keith take the shallow hit, trapping the smoke within his mouth before he pressed the cherry into the roof beside them, snuffing it out.

Gently tipping his head back with the tips of two fingers, Keith leant down, brushing his nose against Shiro’s in silent question. Recognition sparked as the older cadet parted his lips just as Keith exhaled, trapping the smoke in the minute space between them as Shiro breathed it in.

Then he was pushing forward, swallowing the tang of it and the small sound Keith made. Coated with the smooth brush of smoke, this kiss was slower. Gentler. It caressed every inch of his skin was the soft blushing glow of everything sweet.

Everything that Shiro was.

The world tilted as he slowly laid out beneath him, pulling Keith down on top of him with the grace of feigned sobriety. Catching his sigh on the tip of his tongue, Shiro returned it with a wet brush against his lips.

Keith’s body thrummed with the feathery weightlessness of the weed coursing through his veins until he was certain the only thing keeping him tethered to Earth was the halo of Shiro’s arms.

Pulling away slightly to catch his breath, he pushed one soft peck to the corner of his boyfriend’s mouth. Then another.

And then another.

It pulled a slow chuckle from deep within Shiro’s chest, which raised a warm balloon within his own as he finally rolled off him and nestled into his side. Cheek pressed to his shoulder and smile hooking his mouth upwards, Keith returned his slightly shaking gaze back up to the heavens that twinkled and winked above them.

“Shiro?” He said after he finally found his voice buried beneath the burning sun of happiness in his chest.

“Yeah?” The word rumbled against his skin as Shiro’s fingers began to track lines across the arm splayed across his waist. Each stroke left a shimmering hum that effused from the boundaries of each touch.

“We’re going to be up there one day,” Keith said slowly. Even with the way it slurred and swayed at the edges, the meaning of it stood open and bare between them.

I love you. As if he hadn’t said it before. But somehow, saying it this way seemed to get the point across better. Of course, maybe that was just the weed talking.

“Yeah, baby,” Shiro breathed before he dropped a soft kiss to the top of his crown, sending a shock of Northern Lights scattering down through his body and curling at the tips of his toes.

I love you, too.

“We sure are.”

*******************************

[juniperhillpatient]

Summary: The kids go to a haunted house. Will struggles with feelings for Mike that don’t quite fit in the “friendship” category. An unexpected ally is able to help out. Trigger warnings: Internalized homophobia, panic attack description

***

A kid screamed and Will jumped. 

Without thinking, he grabbed Mike's hand. Mike glanced at him, and for a moment Will thought he saw a question there, but the look was gone quickly and Mike squeezed Will's hand. He didn't let go. 

Dustin and Lucas were having an odd sort of standoff with a man dressed as a clown about five feet in front of them. They were sneaking up close to him, but when they got close enough he'd sort of lunge towards them and they would yell and stumble backwards only to repeat the process again. Max was watching this exchange with a mixture of annoyance and amusement. 

To Mike's cries of disappointment, Hopper had decided against letting Jane go along, even if she wore a costume - saying that it was too risky and besides, she would probably hate it and end up knocking a spook out with her powers and causing a panic. So, it was just the boys and Max in the line to the haunted house. 

The line to enter the haunted house had moved much faster than Will had anticipated. How long had they been standing there? Thirty minutes? Twenty? It felt much shorter. 

Finally, it was their turn to go in and Will felt his stomach tighten up. He heard his breath hitch and hoped no one else did, but he saw Mike's worried glance. 

"Will," Mike said. Mike had offered to stay in and do something else about a million times so that Will didn't have to endure the jump scares and Jane could spend the evening with them, but both Will and Jane had insisted Mike go to the haunted house. 

"Mike," he said. "I'm fine. I promise." How often had he told that lie over the past year? 

He'd lied so often he almost believed it sometimes. I'm fine. It was the sort of thing you got into the habit of saying all the time when you were decidedly not fine. 

Dustin, Lucas, and Max hurried in with no hesitation, excitedly yelling and laughing as they went. Will wished he could join them. He wished he could but his heart was pounding painfully in his chest and his lungs felt tight. 

They went in and a goon jumped at them. Will gripped Mike's hand so hard he heard Mike gasp in pain, but Mike didn't let go. They kept going and a girl with fake blood popped out of the wall, howling at them. Will felt his eyes fill with tears, which he tried to force back and ignore. 

It was the animatronic monster that got him. The thing lunged and thoughts of the monsters from the Upside Down flooded his mind, thoughts of being a monster (hurting his friends) and controlling all those monsters overpowered him, and he lost it. He couldn't breathe, couldn't think, couldn't function. His heart was pounding and his lungs were constricted, and he fell to the ground. He was vaguely aware of Mike shaking him and yanking on his arm. 

A blur of movement later Will found himself sitting outside in the grass. He could hear the muffled screams from inside, but it was quiet other than that. Mike's hands were on his shoulders. 

"You okay?" Mike asked, his voice thick with worry. 

"Yeah, what-" 

"I took you outside through the emergency exit," Mike said. 

Looking at Mike's worried face, Will burst into tears and fell forward onto Mike's shoulder. Mike wrapped his arms around Will and squeezed. 

"Hey," Mike said. "Hey, it's okay. You're alright." 

Will didn't want to ever be let go of. He felt incredibly safe and warm and he wished the hug would never end. Inevitably, it did as the others hurried around from the other side of the building to meet them and the boys broke apart like there was an electric shock between them. 

"What happened?" 

"Nothing," Mike said in a hurried voice. "We just got through faster than any of you slowpokes." 

***

November first, all the candy was on sale, and Dustin had pretty much bought up the store and taken it to the home of the one person who loved candy as much as him - Jane. Mike, of course, was also with them, but less because of the candy and more as an opportunity to spend time with Jane. Lucas was racing his bike against Max's skateboard, which Will had watched for a while before getting bored of their banter and leaving. 

He was walking the streets of Hawkins, kicking a stick across the pavement and watching the autumn leaves fall when a car pulled up beside him. and parked. He looked up, at first alarmed, but relaxing when he recognized the one person with hair better than Farah Fawcett, and one of few people he was okay with running into when he was feeling as crappy as he did. Steve Harrington. 

"Hi Steve," he said. 

"Hey kid," Steve replied. "How was the haunted house last night?" 

"It was...fun," Will said. He continued walking. Not to his surprise, Steve fell into step beside him. 

"Sure," Steve said. "I can tell by the enthusiasm in your voice." 

Will kicked the stick he had been kicking down the street a little too hard and it went the wrong direction and into the middle of the road. He sighed and sat down on the edge of the sidewalk. Steve sat down beside him. 

"So what happened?" 

"Nothing happened," Will insisted, without looking at Steve. 

"You know how Nancy is dating Jonathan now?" Steve asked. 

"Yeah." Will wasn't sure what this had to do with anything but he knew it was a matter that weight on Steve's mind so he decided to let the older boy talk about it if he wanted to. 

"It hurts." He looked at Will like he was trying to get Will to understand some great concept. "It hurts a hell of a lot. And you know what? It hasn't gotten better. But I've just had to suck it up and deal with it. They're happy together. They really do love each other like she never did, never could love me." 

"Yeah," Will said again, unsure what to say. 

"But I still hang out with them both, don't I?" 

"Yeah, you do," Will said. "Jonathan helps you with your homework." 

"That's right. Because he's a good friend. And he knows how I feel about Nancy too." 

"He does?" Will asked. 

"Of course. It's not like we talk about it, but he knows. How could he not? I was in love with her. It's common knowledge." 

"Why are you telling me this?" Will asked, finally. 

"Because..." Steve hesitated. "I think you could be honest with your friends, and they'd still accept you. That's what I'm trying to say. Maybe it wouldn't be easy, and maybe it would still hurt, but I think you could. But hey you know, what do I know?" 

Will let that idea sit with him for a few moments. Part of him was shocked that Steve had any idea about his feelings, but then again, Steve was over a couple times a week to hang out with Jonathan, and he had gotten to know Will pretty well during that time. Did Jonathan know? Did everyone know? 

"Who else-" 

"I don't think anyone else knows," Steve said, already guessing Will's question. "I just know the look you give someone you're supposed to be just friends with when you're in love with them." 

"Right," Will said. 

Steve got up and headed to his car. "Look," Steve said. "Even if you don't want to talk to your friends if you ever need...." he trailed off. "I know Jonathan is there too. But, he's not the only one." 

"Thanks, Steve," Will said, watching Steve climb into his car and start the engine. 

He watched Steve's car driving away, thinking. He had been left with plenty to consider. 

A swirl of autumn leaves blew past, and he could hear Lucas and Max laughing in the distance. What would they think? He tried to imagine what it would be like if he were honest with them, how things would change. What would his mom think? What would Jonathan think? 

The thing was, he knew what they would think. Lucas, Dustin, and Max wouldn't care at all. Jonathan and his mom would probably be proud of him for being honest. The real question he had was about what Jane would think and, most importantly, what Mike would think. 

He didn't know what to do, but as he stood up and began the familiar route to the Wheeler home, hoping Mike would be home by now, he couldn't help but remember the feeling of Mike squeezing his hand in the haunted house and wonder if he would ever feel that again. 

*********

A/N: I wrote this based on my experiences as a person with PTSD and panic attacks, and as a member of the LGBT community who came out as a teen. I just felt like I should include this as a disclaimer to make it clear the panic attack and internalized homophobia weren't meant as cheap plot devices but instead as a way to relate to the characters and hopefully tell a story with some emotional depth. 

If you read, thank you so much! Feedback is much appreciated! I really hope this turned out alright and that you enjoyed it if you read <3 

[ragwitch]

Halloween prompt: 14. Darcy/Daniel Sousa (from Agent Carter) Phone calls from the past.

This got longish and this got saaaaaaad which I apologize for and hope is okay

14. ‘The phone keeps ringing but no one’s there when I answer.’

Pairing: Darcy Lewis/Daniel Sousa

Rating: T to low M

Warnings for feels.

The landline had come with the apartment. It was even advertised in the listing. Phone line included, long-distance billed. Darcy found this sort of whimsical and charming. Who used a landline these days? She toyed briefly with the idea of canceling her cell service, hooking up an answering machine, and going back to a simpler existence where she only took calls at home. And then she quickly tossed the idea out because that was crazy.

Either way it worked out fine because for a year, five months, and sixteen days the phone never rang and everyone that came over thought it was hilarious and listened to the dial tone for the sake of nostalgia. No big deal.

_

The first time the phone rang it was October 1st, Daniel was in her shower, and Darcy was considering joining him because he gave the best head rubs while he washed her hair. Also, because Darcy pretty much couldn’t keep her hands off him.

She jumped at the sound of bells jarring out of the wall in her living room.

Brrrrrrrrrring!

Brrrrrrrrrring!

Brrrrrrrrrring!

She stared at the old fashioned black rotary phone on it’s little wooden shelf and then shrugged. If it was a telemarketer, she would hang up. She might as well enjoy the novelty of the experience.

“Hello?” she said.

There was quiet, and soft static.

“Helloooo?” she repeated. Still nothing. Maybe her free phone line didn’t really work after all. It wasn’t like she was about to complain to the super about it.

She hung up the phone and went to find Daniel.

_

She met him that summer in the hallway. He was leaning onto his crutch, green canvas army bag over his shoulder, squinting up at the number on her door.

“Hey, you lost?” she asked, and shifted the bags of groceries off her shoulder where they were digging bruise lines into her skin.

“I…I think so,” he said, and then he turned to look at her and Darcy tried not to think about that fact that she probably had sweat stains in weird places ‘cause it was steamy hot out and she’d just lugged a week’s worth of food five blocks. And that this new guy had a jaw that could cut glass and short dark curls she wanted to dig her fingers into.

“My key says one-eighteen,” he said, and he held the tag out for her to look. “But it’s not working.”

“Oh yeah,” she said, nodding. “This happens a lot. You came for the pre-furnished apartment? It’s eleven-eight actually. Kind of a bonkers system if you ask me.”

“Uh…yeah. You got an elevator?” he asked, glancing down at his leg.

“Oh yeah,” she said. “It’s also bonkers. Lemme put these inside and I’ll show you.”

He didn’t have trouble with the old Otis manual elevator at all actually. Pulled the gate back and forth without blinking an eye, counted the floors up and knew just when to pull the lever. That probably could have been her first clue if she’d known what to look for.

_

She wondered. Of course she wondered. Was it the army? Was it the battle of New York? Prosthetic and crutch aside, Daniel was obviously carrying something on his shoulders. Some days he just seemed so…elsewhere.

They’d been in Central Park together, their first unofficial date, eating ice cream and holding hands and suddenly he had just…stopped, and stared at the skyline. She’d joined him because sometimes she forgot that she was living in New York City and just plowed through the neighborhoods like she didn’t have the time to be amazed by it all.

But then after the time stretched out she looked at him. There were lines in his forehead and something in his eyes like…like he was trying to memorize the buildings or trying to correct the view in front of him.

“Are you alright?” she asked. She was carrying things too and she didn’t want to press at places that she didn’t want pressed at either.

He looked at her, searched her face, studied her lips, and then blinked.

“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, I’m alright.”

_

The second time the phone rang was a few days after the first. Daniel had her squeezed to his side in bed and he was patting her shoulder softly with his hand.

“Mmph.”

“Darce. Phone.”

“S’not real.”

“Phone. Phone ringing,” Daniel said, nudging her shoulder. Darcy ignored him even as the phone blared for the fifth time. “I’ll get it,” he said, and started to shift.

“Ugh,” Darcy said, and rolled out from under the covers. She wasn’t going to say so cause he wouldn’t want her thinking it, but she didn’t want him to have to limp out to the living room with his crutch while he was half-asleep.

“Darce, you’re naked,” he hissed as she shuffled out into the hall.

“Well I’m not turning the lights on,” she grumbled. She doubted anyone had the lucky timing to be looking in her living room windows at all of three o’clock in the morning.

“Hello?” she snarled into the receiver.

This time it wasn’t static. There was an intake of breath at the other end of the line.

“Hello? Who is this?”

It was quiet and Darcy wasn’t even sure if she was imagining the faint exhale. All she knew was that she was naked and there was someone breathing over her phone line and in any 1990’s teen movie that meant someone was looking in her window. So she slammed down the phone and ran back to bed where Daniel was barely managing to keep his eyes open.

“Whossit?” he asked.

“No one,” Darcy whispered and then she burrowed close against his skin.

_

Before they slept together Darcy had the sense to ask, “Hey…you’re sticking around for awhile, right?”

After all, he’d shown up at the apartment building with a duffle bag, and while he kept the little studio clean, it wasn’t super…lived in. After she’d invited him down for dinner the first time they’d just sort of…fallen in together. He was friendly, he had a dimple on his chin, and he managed the careful balance of being a gentleman without being patronizing.

The question seemed to puzzle him, or maybe it was just taking him a minute to gather his thoughts since she asked it after kissing him back into the arm of her couch and sliding his hands up inside of her t-shirt.

“As far as I know I’ve got nowhere else to be,” he said, and then he grinned and the smile reached his eyes and she was gone for him.

It was just so easy not to hear what was missing in those words.

_

Sometimes at night he would wake up from a dream, and sit up in bed, and run his hand up and down her back, big palm covering her spine.

“Nightmares?” she asked once.

“Weird dreams,” he said. “Like…like some other place. Other people. Just remembering where I am.”

So she rolled over and tugged him down to lay against her, and helped remind him.

_

The calls came, and came, and came, all month. Sometimes in the morning while Daniel was running across the street to grab them breakfast and she would ask ‘Hello?’ over and over again as she watched him from her window. Sometimes while she was cooking, and she would pick up the receiver and hang it back up again, heart pounding. Sometimes at night, while Daniel was inside her, kissing at her neck, and she would hold on tight to him and squeeze her eyes shut and they would ignore the insistent sound until it stopped again.

_

On Halloween the phone wouldn’t stop ringing. It rang all morning before she left for work. A neighbor texted at lunch threatening to break her door down and unplug it. And as she and Daniel was walked into the building together after stopping the grocery store together, they could both hear the clanging from the first floor hallway.

Darcy spun in step. “Let’s make pasta at your place tonight.”

Daniel was squinting at her door, and then back at her. “I don’t have pots. What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing. Change of scenery,” Darcy said, trying to step back down the hall to the old elevator that she invariably ignored unless Daniel was there to tame it for her.

He plucked her keys off her fingers where she’d had them ready and passed her with quick steps.

“I’m just so sick of the sound!” Darcy said.

Daniel paused, key in the lock and frowned back at her and she felt a sudden burst of exhaustion as tears welled up in her eyes.

“It keeps ringing and ringing,” Darcy said, breath hiccuping. “And I swear to god, there’s someone on the line but they won’t say anything and I’m so sick of it!”

The phone was still going, blaring loudly as Daniel opened the door and hurried into the apartment, Darcy rushing to catch up with him.

“Hello?” he snapped into the receiver. “Who’s calling?”

“Daniel? Is that you?”

The voice was tinny but everything else in the apartment was silent and still and Darcy almost dropped the groceries to the floor. Daniel’s face went white and he stared straight ahead at the cream and mint striped wallpaper.

“Daniel? It’s Peggy. Is that you?”

Darcy felt her stomach turn over as he answered, “Yes. Yes it’s me. I…I’d forgotten.”

“Howard got it all wrong, Daniel,” the voice on the line said and Daniel wiped a hand down his face.

Darcy excused herself to the kitchen, heart crashing down to her toes, and even further.

_

He didn’t leave right away. They had a few more days together. Days where Darcy learned everything about who Daniel Sousa really was and where it became painfully clear all the questions she had failed to ask him while they were together. Days saying goodbye.

Darcy was joining Tony in the Howard Stark Is To Blame For My Emotional Injury club. It wasn’t Daniel’s fault his memory was scrambled in the time leap. Darcy never thought she’d say this but…Tony really was a good scientist. He found the flaw in Howard’s work right away and it had taken Jane all of two days to sort out how to send Daniel back. And the two days might have been generous stalling, a gift from a friend.

But on the third day he kissed her goodbye in the center of the lab and pulled away, lips parted, at the edge of saying something- asking to stay maybe, or asking her to come. But then his mouth shut and she stepped back and Jane set the machines whirring. And less than a minute later Daniel Sousa was gone.

That night the phone in the apartment rang.

She was out of bed and running down the hall before she’d even really finished waking up, eyes sore and puffy from crying.

“Hello?” She was catching her breath, the sound echoing over the line. “Hello?”

She waited, held her breath until her chest burned, and heard a quiet puff of air, a sigh. She tried to swallow and couldn’t manage.

“I miss you too,” she whispered. There was a long quiet, another shaky breath, harder this time, and then the line clicked dead.

[littledonkeyburrito]

Some lint

1. Have you ever punched someone and broke their nose? Haven’t broken their nose but I’ve certainly hit a few in the face bc karate

2. What is the longest time you have gone without sleep? Forty-something hours without even a nap

3. Have you ever been someplace tropical? Several places

4. You see an ant on the ground, do you squish it? If it’s in my house, yes.

5. Have you ever baked a pie? I don’t think so.

6. What is your favorite social networking site? Instagram probably

7. Has anyone in your family fought in any of the wars? Dad’s dad was in WW2. Dad fought in Belfast in the 70s I think

8. Would you make any changes to your current bedroom? Yeah, I would like $100,000 to magically appear under my mattress.

9. Has a stray dog ever tried to bite you? Playfully. I stop playing with strays when they get boisterous bc rabies

10. When riding a bus, do you prefer to sit up front, down back or the middle? Middle-back generally

11. Have you ever been on a cross-country train ride? Yes, in a few places. I freaking love sleeper trains, I think they’re so fun with a group. On one of the sleeper trains I went on in China we accidentally taught the guy with the food/drink trolley the english word for beer because we bought more every time he went past.

12. Is there currently any caffeine in your system? No

13. Look around, are things organized? Yes, I keep my apartment very tidy.

14. Is there any TV show that ended that you wish hadn’t? Don’t Trust the Bitch in Apartment 23

15. Know what you’re planning to do after this? Attempt to kill time for a couple of hours until I can go to bed

16. How often do you update your Facebook status? I don’t really do statuses, just post photos from my instagram.

17. Do you even wear any jeans other than skinny anymore? All my jeans are of varying levels of skininess. From slim-fit to practically painted on.

18. Are you sensitive to caffeine? Yes. I would have a rum and coke right now but 1) I don’t have any coke, and 2) if I drank any it would take me a long time to get to sleep.

19. How do you usually get around? Walking or metro

20. Which languages do you wish you could speak fluently in? It would be nice to be fluent in spanish but if it happened magically overnight it wouldn’t be fun because I like the challenge. It would be cool to magically become fluent in arabic and/or mandarin.

21. Have you ever been accused of being too clingy? No

22. Can you speak any French? No.

23. Have you ever stayed in a hotel? Dozens. I travel a lot.

24. What is in your pocket? Some lint.

25. Is there a secret you’ve never told your parents? There are certainly some details of my life that I have omitted. Such as some experiences with sex, drugs and alcohol.  

26. Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in your presence? People from that office I briefly worked at. Or probably more recently just random people on the street.

27. Have you ever lived with a friend? Yeah, a few.

28. What are a few of your favorite tv shows? iZombie, Brooklyn 99, Jane The Virgin, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Club De Cuervos, Parks and Rec 29. What kind of socks do you like to wear? Brightly coloured ones with wild patterns 30. Do you have your own house key, and how often do you actually use it? Whenever I need to get into my apartment. (This question must have been written by a teenager)

31. How often do you eat chocolate? Not actually that often. I don’t have as much of a sweet tooth as I did when I was younger. 32. How often do you wash dishes at your house? Every 1-3 days depending on how lazy I am.

33. How much sleep did you get last night? ~7 hours 34. When was the last time you went to a cemetery and why were you there? Last year on halloween myself and a few other drunk people from the party I was at decided to go wander around the nearby cemetery. 35. What were you doing when you heard about the attack on the twin towers? I don’t remember specifically hearing about it. I was only 7 so I wouldn’t really have cared anyway. Mostly what I remember is that they took cartoons off tv to play non-stop news for at least a week. 36. Doesn’t John Mayer suck? I have no opinions on him. 37. When was the last time you saw the sun rise? When I was in Colombia. One night in Cartagena I stayed up with a swedish and a colombian guy chatting in spanish while we watched the sun rise over the river. Then the cops came over and told us to leave.

38. What was the last picture you took? It was of my DS because I started playing pokemon in spanish and I was sending the picture to a couple of friends to say that the pokemon names are still the same in this language.

39. Are there many traffic incidents in your area? I don’t drive anymore so I don’t pay attention. 40. Have you ever been for a ride in the back of a truck? Probably at some point during travels. I’ve done a lot of weird shit 41. Are you currently downloading anything? No. 42. Does your father have any facial hair? No

43. Have you ever played golf? My mum attempted to get me into golf when I was a kid (maybe young teen?) and I absolutely hated it. It was the most infuriating game I’ve ever played.

44. What was the last tv show you watched an episode of? The Defenders 45. Do you like beer? If so, what’s your favorite brand? Beer is fine. I’m pretty used to Moritz and Estrella Damm because they are common local brands. The fucking worst beer is Balboa in Panama. God it was so awful. Also not a fan of San Miguel which is common across all of spain. 46. Do you feel bad when you throw food out? Yes 47. When was the last time you waxed anything on your body, if ever? I’ve never waxed. I just shave. 48. What’s your favorite fast food place? I don’t have one. I don’t really eat takeout here. 49. When was the last time you went out for a meal? A few weeks ago. 50. Have you ever been in a car accident? A few minor ones but not while I’ve been driving. 51. What colour shirt are you wearing right now? Navy blue

52. Have you ever had a bonfire on the beach? Y’know I actually don’t think I have... I should get on that.

53. Are you skilled when it comes to working in the kitchen? I don’t burn anything. That’s a skill, right?

54. When was the last time you went to a campground? That would have been back in April, camping in the Sahara Desert.

55. Do you listen to music while driving? Yes, and I sing along Very Loudly.

56. When was the last time you hung out with people younger than you? I have absolutely no idea. 

57. What is the closest blue object to you? Box of tissues on the coffee table.

58. How much did you spend on your last shopping trip? Probably about 25 euros at the grocery store

59. Have you ever gone over your cell phone plan by accident? I used to go over my data limit pretty regularly at my old job.

60. Can you honestly say you’ve been drunk before? Very, and many times. (this question must have been written by a teen)

61. Where did you get your last bruise from? Probably that mystery bruise I got in my armpit in central america. I’m pretty sure I got roofied that night so I don’t remember anything at all but I am still sooooo curious how I got that bruise. Nobody I was with knew how it happened either but then again they were all pretty trashed anyway so even if they saw they might not remember.

62. Are you a person that likes to take chances? Depends. Sometimes I take calculated risks.

63. Would you consider your life to be great right now? Right now it’s pretty mediocre but a month ago it was freaking awesome.

64. Do you remember the dream you had last night? Not exactly but I think it involved me getting tattoos on my arm

65. Do you get emotional easily? I don’t really have emotions tbh

66. Do you get obnoxious when you’re drunk? Nah, I get fun when I’m drunk

67. Who was the first person to ever give you flowers? I’m not sure anybody has ever given me flowers.

68. What was the last thing you heated up in your microwave? Chicken and veggies to go with my baked potato the other day

69. Were you born somewhere other than a hospital? No.

70. What was the last flavor of ice cream you had? Mango. It was homemade by a woman in Comuna 13 in Colombia 71. When you go out drinking, what do you prefer to drink? Beer or rum and coke 72. Is there a trash can near you? Yeah

73. When and where was the last time you took a picture of yourself? I think I took a selfie in my kitchen a few days ago 74. When was the last time you stayed up throughout the entire night? Cartagena, Colombia. ~8 weeks ago. But I stayed up until 2 or 3am a few times after that.

75. Have you ever considered a foreign-exchange program? No, I just fucked off overseas on my own accord.

76. Are sex and sexual activities something you enjoy? Yep 77. What’s an interesting fact about the state in which you were born? I know literally nothing about the region I was born in.

78. What’s one aspect of your life that did not turn out as you expected? Well I definitely didn’t expect to learn spanish 79. Is there a subject about which you know a great deal? Probably, but nothing immediately comes to mind 80. What was the last thing that you put off doing? I should probably vacuum and mop my apartment 81. What did you do instead of that activity? Anything else.

Before and after: 3 years ago, today

82. What size is the last bed you kissed on?  - Double.  - A single bed in a twin room in a hotel. Tbh I probably could have swapped to a double room but at that point I didn’t realise he’d be staying with me

83. When was the last time you were sick? - I got the flu pretty bad in 2013. Probably should have gone to hospital but instead I only took 2 days off work. - I had a mild cold when I got home from my last trip. 84. Do you have any summer plans yet? - I ditched summer in favour of going skiing in Japan - Summer just ended. I don’t know whether my next summer will be here next June/July, or back in Aus in January. Will depend on whether I find a job 85. When was the last time you shaved your legs? - Probably within 2 weeks - Earlier today 86. Is there someone you wish you were closer with? - I think I had just started developing a crush on a guy that I later dated briefly and then he cheated on me, lied about it and broke up with me by facebook message while I was on holiday overseas. So, not the best idea really. - I’m all g. 87. Do you tend to waste a lot of money? - I made 1 or 2 poor decisions with money but I was earning enough to cover my ass. - It’s not a waste when it’s something I actively want to spend the money on. 88. What did you last drink? - Probably pepsi - Orange juice 89. Have you ever received an injury from a hook up? - Uhhh no? - Not unless that’s how I got that mystery bruise in my armpit. 90. Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? - Yes - Yes, the same ones 91. When was the last time you had a crowd at your house? - Probably around this time 3 years ago was my housewarming - I have never had more than 2 people visit this apartment at a time. Last time I had a crowd would have been my moving out party (from the place I just moved into 3 years ago) which was a bit over a year ago.

92. How many cell phones have you had? - 5 - 7, if you include the work phone I had 93. Where do you get all your clothes? - JayJays - H&M, C&A, Mango etc 94. Have you ever regretted kissing someone? - Nah - Nah 95. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket? - No. - I got one just under 3 years ago 96. Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? - Alone - Depends. Sometimes I wouldn’t mind having someone here 97. Do you think age matters in relationships? - To an extent - Not really 98. Have you ever lived with a girlfriend/boyfriend? - No. - No 99. When will your next kiss be? - Probably the next party I went to. I made out with a lot of people that year - No idea 100. Add up all the digits of your cell phone number. What do you get? - 40 - 50 101. When you lost your virginity, do you honestly feel like you were ready? - I didn’t regret it but I probably wasn’t emotionally ready for it. - Same as above I guess. You only lose it once.

102. Was the person you lost your virginity to younger or older than you? - Older. - ^^

103. Were you sexually experienced whatsoever when you lost your virginity? - Not at all - ^^

104. Have you had sex with more than one person? - Yes - Yes by a larger amount

105. Have you ever had sex with the lights on? - Yes. - Yes

106. Have you ever had sex on a floor? - No - Yes

107. When is the last time you had sex? - Probably like at least 6 months before - About a month ago (can’t believe my trip ended so long ago)

108. Do you care for that person? - Eh - I guess

109. Is this your boyfriend or girlfriend? - No - No

110. The first time you got drunk, how old were you? - 16 - ^^

111. Where were you located the first time you got drunk? - The afterparty of my highschool formal. It was in the backyard of a girl in my grade - ^^

[sammygiddings]

Josh and Ashley, Theatre AU?

“Chris, please tell Josh that he set up too many lights for this scene.”

“Chris, Will you please tell Ashley that the lighting is perfect and it’s her fucking stupid rewrite that are ruining the scene!”

Chris stood in between this two best friends in the world. He didn’t even want to be working for the play anyways, but the two of them practically begged him to be the sound director since their last one had to drop out after her dad passed. He expected it to be boring, and lame, but at least Josh and Ash would be there so that would make it fun. He thought he’d joke around with them, and they’d get a bite to eat after the super long rehearsals. Chris was oh so very wrong.

“Actually! Chris, tell Josh if he wrote the climax better, I wouldn’t have to rewrite the entire thing!”

“WHAT THE FUCK WAS WRONG WITH MY CLIMAX?!?!”

“WHY THE FUCK WOULD A GIRL FALL IN LOVE WITH A GUY SHE MET TWO SECONDS AGO!

“HE SAVED HER FROM THE MAFIA!”

“YES! A PLACE THAT YOU ESTABLISHED THAT THEY THREATENED TO SEXUALLY ASSULT HER! NO GIRL IS GONNA RUN INTO THE ARMS OF A STRANGER AFTER THAT!!”

“WHAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!?!?” Chris shouted. The two of them her red in the face, and Chris was convinced they would have pounced at each other if it weren’t for the fact he was in between the two of them. He couldn’t remember ever seeing Ashley so angry. Josh on the other hand, he knew would get tis worked up over someone tampering with his script, hell Ashley did too. Which of course, made it a bigger “fuck you” to Josh than it wold have been if it were someone else.

“CHRIS! Tell the red-haired devil that this isn’t a stupid Jane Austin play and the people want resolution!”

“Well! Chris, be sure to tell the butt muncher that he needs to stop jacking himself off at his own writing and admit that it was shit!”

“YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT SHIT?!?!” Chris threw his arm up, as Josh lunged forward. He was amazed at just how much rage could fit inside such a tiny pair of teens.

“Woah, woah!” Chris said. Ashley turned her back to them, not at all looking afraid of Josh, and fuming from the ears. She humphed a little to herself, crossing her arms and sticking her nose slightly in the air. Josh on the other hand looked ready to kill, and Chris knew he needed a time out. “Let’s take a walk.”

“Not until we settle this-”

“No,” Chris said, dragging him away by his arm, “we’re taking a breather.” Josh glared at Ashley the whole way as Chris pulled in out of the green room and into the hall. He vaguely remembered a few of the actors mentioning that Josh and Ashley fight often as the director and writer of the theater. But this, even the actors saw this play as a legendarily bad one. It was Josh’s first time as Co-writer and every little idea that Ashley had that was different than his caused major fights.

“She,” Josh pointed to the closed door separating him for Ashley. “Needs to shut up!”

“Dude, What the fuck is wrong with you?” Chris asked. “Why are you being such a...” he paused, not fully wanting to say the word.

“A what?” Josh asked, a fire fuming in his eyes. Chris really really did not want to start something with Josh but he knew Josh would just keep asking if he didn’t answer.

“A dick.” Chris answered.

“Oh, sorry!” Josh said, throwing up his arms. “I forgot, you’ve got a fucking hard one for little red in there!” Chris’s eye brows knitted together as a furious scowl appeared on his face.

“Stop!” Chris shouted.

“What? scared you’re little secret crush is gonna get exposed?!?!”

“Josh! Enough!” Josh looked a little shocked at Chris raising his voice. It wasn’t often he did it for Josh, but Chris was not dealing with any of his shit today. There was a silence between them and Chris lifted his hand in the air, opening and closing his mouth as he thought was what to say next. He was pissed at how Josh was treating Ashley, but Josh was still his friend, and not the best person to piss off if one is trying to show why they’re right.

“What are you even going on about?” Chris asked, the only this he could think of that he knew wouldn’t piss off Josh. “I don’t have a dumb crush on Ashley!”

“What?” Josh asked.

“Dude, she’s like a little sister. A crazy smart, weird little sister that may or may not have tried to kill me that one time.” Josh’s eyes grew wide, his mouth falling open slightly.

“REally?” He asked, shouting more confused than shocked.

“Yeah!” Chris answered. “dude, I’m Ace. I am not even slightly attracted romantically or physically to her. Ashley is just my friend.”

“In my experience, guys and girl can never ‘just be friends’“ Josh said, still sounding skeptical. Chris loved Josh, he really did, but there were times Josh would say something just so stupid, Chris wasn’t sure whether to fight him or pity him.

“That might be the sadness thing you’ve ever told me.” Chris said choosing pity. “Seriously, that’s just so fucking stupid.”

“But let me get this straight,” Josh said ignoring Chris’s comment completely. “You do not have any slight feeling for Ashley. Like zero of that shit.” Chris rolled his eyes, still amazed at how much he had to spell it out for the guy.

“Yes! Geeze, Josh!”

“Why?” Josh asked.

“What?”

“I mean, how could you not?!?! Look at her, she’s amazing! Like tiny yeah, but I’m not that much taller so you know, but for you she must be an ant. An ant with like, really really good legs, and a surprisingly big ass for a white skinny girl.” Everything suddenly clicked for Chris. “and I mean, she’s like a puppy. Like her big big eyes and soft skin. Like not Angelina Jolie fine but like Ellen Page, girl next door, kinda fine.” 

Chris shook his head. 

“What?” Josh asked.

“You are like a second grader,” Chris said, laughing slightly. 

“I mean probably but why?” That made Chris start laughing.

“Nothing,” Chris said shaking his head. “No reason, just ahhhh, knowing now that I have ZERO romantic feeling for Ashley and for anyone at all, why don’t you go and try to make peace with her.”

“I don’t see how knowing that will change anything!” Josh said. “I mean, the girl is just unreasonable!”

“Well, just try,” and with that, Chris pushed Josh back into the green room and waited. 

There was screaming at first, which Chris thought nothing of, but then as it continued five minutes later he was starting to get nervous. Chris looked around, there was no one else in the hall with him. That made him a little more nervous, he did not want to be the only one keeping ashley from ripping Josh’s head off. She’d kill him without a second thought.

Suddenly, the screaming stopped and there was a clanking sound. Like something had been thrown. without second thought, Chris bursted into the room, expecting to see Josh on top on Ashley, but not quite in the way he thought.

Ashley was pinned up against the make-up table, moaning as Josh had his face buried in her neck. Chris froze, too shocked to move, and then Ashley’s eyes opened and she squealed.

“Oh my GOD!” She screamed, instantly her eyes growing wide on horror. “CHRIS!” She tired to push Josh off of her, slapping away a wandering hand Chris hadn’t noticed before. Josh turned to his, looking completely breathless.

“Dude!” He shouted, and instantly Chris threw his hand over his eyes, and felt his face grow warmer than it ever had before. 

“SORRY!” he shouted and he shot out of the room slamming the door behind him. For a long time, Chris was too embarrassed to even move, than when he calmed down, he felt a strange calmness. That image was forever engraved in his mind and would disgust him till the day he died, but at least the weird sexual tensioned fueled fights would stop and they’d finally get the damn play ready for show night.