#jason says lol and i don’t care if u guys don’t agree

[delicrieux]

—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER

extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”. 

pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing.  word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie​:  y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao

author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao

ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist

You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.

A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?

Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.

A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”

mother i crave violence

sensing evil energy rn!!

i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖

^with peace and love shut the fuck up

“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”

You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”

Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.

“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!” 

rip headphone users

i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears

yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭

To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.

Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 

queen rly went from  🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?

Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie

akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.

Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.

There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.

The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.

nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!

^pack it up girl defined

“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”

You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing. 

“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.” 

i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live 

shes trying give her time

ya dig??? y not capeesh

what scene from the godfather is this lol?

“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.

Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎

You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”

The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.

Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:

I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.

You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.

“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”

NOW she considers it

well....

if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3

Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”

Onto the bio:

You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜 

“What the fuck did I just read?”

The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.

The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall. 

But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.

No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.

“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.

WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????

tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be

^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell

look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling

It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.

What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.

Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.

YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets. 

...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.

You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.

“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.

“What?” She grits.

“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”

“What did you do now?”

“I made fun of men on Tinder.”

She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”

“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”

“Y/n.”

“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”

She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.

Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.

You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(

my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?

Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout. 

Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!

You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?

my husband Not jealous.

Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”

He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!

my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.

You ik u repeated tht like 50 times  u trynna convince me or??? lmao

my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?

You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs

my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)

Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.

hope you liked it!! xx

[sleeping-lilies]

Title: I Get Tim a Cat Because It’s What He Deserves (oh and i guess a group chat 🙄)

a batfam/wayne family groupchat would literally never happen in canon but it would be so fucking funny you all don’t even know, so i will do it anyways.

the chat just kinda... starts. no one know where it came from. who added them. who??? none of their emotionally stunted asses would be caught dead making making a family chat tf? why can’t any of them leave? they smash their phones and then on their laptop a notification pops up like “you’ve joined ‘x’ group” and they’re stuck there. might as well use it ig, but for what???

“everyone who is alive type ‘i’” no one responds so bruce spends hours trying to find out where their bodies are until he finds out everyone just had the chat on mute

“why isn’t alfred on here” “huh. alfred isn’t on here and no one knows who made the chat?” “so whoever made it just left immediately?” “...” “lol anyways”

tim was trying to send a snap to the core four gc but accidentally sent it to the family chat and gets super embarrassed (of course this happens when everyone’s online why wouldn’t they if it makes tim’s life more difficult) and everyone makes fun of him. duke printed out copies and plastered them all over tim’s apartment while tim was out for something and tim nearly murders duke. after that no one puts the chat on mute because this was too funny.

no one actually, like, texts on a regular basis because they’re not like other families 🙄 they only text if it’s really important or someone’s dying.

that’s being said, “dick where is dog” “send doggy” “dog?” “send doggy” “dick when did you get a dog?” “SEND DOGGY” “i demand you send the dog this instant” “dog now.”

damian breaks into dick’s apartment to take a selfie with him and haley (or bitewing, haley is just shorter to type) captioned “she is mine this is a warning to all of you. i will not hesitate if any of you low lives come near her.” and dick is like “??? this is my dog i can’t have anything these days, siblings take everything, man—” oh ya, everyone reacts to the haley photo with a heart. also dick only lets this shit slide with damian, if jason the problem child pulled this shit it would be on sight lmfaooo

- tim: the dog is cute but, but in photography i learned you have to crop out everything unimportant, like this *crops out damian from the photo*

- in other news, tim joined the dead bats club and now only bruce and duke are left 😃🔪

bruce: check in if you are alive. *everyone’s status is online*

u don’t know about y’all, but my bruce wayne is a responsible father who keeps an eye on his kids, or at least does his best, “has anyone seen duke? he has school and i can’t find him” “i will find him... if you give me $50.” “i will give you the money jason just tell me where he is” jason sends a photo of himself and duke laying down on the floor eating pop tarts.

-“literally why do you all keep coming into my apartment” “our apartment, dick” “i pay for this apartment it’s mine, i keep living in blüdhaven for a reason, god, siblings always steal everything that’s your’s—” it’s ok guys dick simultaneously has eldest daughter’s syndrome and absent sibling syndrome, who is doing it like him? legend behavior. anyways, duke and jason left crumbs on the floor and dick beat them up lmao.

“can i have money” “dad” (theyre sent by same person just different text) “yes cass i will sent you as much as you need, $2,000 is enough for shipping with friends?” “dad can i have money too” “dad can i too” “may i have some too dad” “dad” “dad” fhdjdjsks they only call him dad when they’re dying, want something, or are tattling on each other, someone save him 😩

“@everyone the interviewer in the last segment asked me if we have a family chat and i have a feeling they will try to pry into my texts to see what we are texting, please actually send something so they don’t get even more nosy from our lack of communicating” *someone sends the bee movie script*

ok but like, as time goes on they get more comfy texting each other and acting like a normal(ish) family unit that texts a little more. like tattling.

“someone broke the vase in the hallway and if they don’t want me to tell pennyworth who did it they will buy alfred the cat a new scratching post by nightfall” damian is so funny i love him

“HELPPVHRNXKAK” “what’s up with jason?” “cass is sitting on him” “lol” “i think she’s gonna break his arm fhdjdksk” “ANDBSJ I HAT E YO U A LL” “when did you all come to the manor???”

“😂” bruce vs “lol” dick and cass vs “agdhsjak” tim and duke vs “hA” jason vs “i don’t find any of you funny” damian

“damian i am putting your lemon cake pop thingies in the last bottom shelf on the right, i put the code and everything in the safe” “how often does damian even come to your apartment, dick?” “whenever you’re being an asshole bruce” “he’s always an asshole dickhead 🙄” “exactly 🥰”

“dad guess what” “TIM NOOO” “remember when” “TIM TIM TIM” “you told duke to take the day shift” “I WILL NEVER POST YOUR SNAP PHOTOS TO A GROUPCHAT WITH THE ENTIRE SUPERHERO COMMUNITY AGAIN!!!” “and he agreed to if he did his school work first?” “MERCY, MERCY” “what did he do, tim” “fjdjxkskkz duke goes on school zoom meetings during patrol and pretends he doesn’t have a mic and camera and i was watching his helmet footage and it was so funny, the teachers just believe him when he pretends to have really bad network and can barely type in the chat” “my teachers never trusted me that much” “that’s because you made a kid cry once jason stfu” “wait how did u know that cass—“

“AHDBSNZKAJHF” “stfu duke” “what’s wrong with him where is he?” “cain came to visit” “ohhhh” “FHDJFJDJ HELLPPPXSND” “i know you’re taking a video, you little shit, send it” “no todd come here and take one yourself—or don’t, your presence is unwanted” “fucking brat”

“DAD DICK HIT ME” “DAD JASON’S LYING” *bruce wayne online* (he doesn’t fucking respond fhsjskla) (is it because he’s exasperated with them or crying because they called him dad even though it’s a manipulation tactic or both we’ll never know)

“everyone who is alive, type in chat” *everyone is online* then bruce edits the message to say ‘everyone who wants alfred’s cinnamon rolls, type in chat’ “i guess NO ONE wants alfred’s cinnamon rolls, how sad” and the entire chat goes wild lmfao

ok uhhh let’s do on a scale of 1-10 texts most vs is online the most

bruce: 6-texting, 5.9-online because he always makes an effort to text his kids to check up on them and when his kids are texting he will text as well here and there in the convo to interact with them because he never sees and interacts with them normally and he wants to do better 🥲. he get’s minus 0.1 because of that one time jason and dick were fighting and he logged off agdhsjnz

dick: 3-texting, 3.5-online because he’s the only one in this hellhole of a family that has an actual job (in this house we uphold gymnastics teacher grayson 🙏) and sometimes he won’t have energy to text. so. but he does make an effort when he can. he’s online more than he texts because he’s able to sneak looks at the fights when he has downtime during his job and wants to see the drama lmfaooo. also everything goes on in his fucking apartment for some reason, so now he gotta break up a (one sided) fight between cass and tim because someone has to be a responsible adult.

cass: 2-texting, 10-online because she watches more than she texts? she’s more content to watch what’s going on than to join in. also 8/10 she’s usually the one causing the drama that everyone’s texting about, like beating up the others, so she can’t text while beating them up. i mean she could, but she wants to put more energy in beating them up (lovingly) (cass is basically violence (loving)) and watching what everyone’s saying about her fights. she’s always online to catch a glimpse at the drama. also most of her texts are to dick to see bitewing. and ask for money.

jason: texting-8, online-4 because if cass is the one causing drama offline, jason’s causing drama online. jason wants to be chat cryptic but texts the most lmfaoooo. he’s antagonizing his siblings whenever he sees them and whenever he can’t, king shit. he’s online less because he deadass doesn’t care that much, he’ll read the texts later if he really wants to, otherwise either duke or tim will fill him in on the drama. (“jason ur in the chat too—“ “shut up, tim, now tell me how cass beat damian’s ass)

tim: texting-6.44444, online-10, see tim texts a lot just not to the family group chat lmfao, he has REAL FRIENDS 😤 uhh ya, that’s why he’s online all the time, cuz he’s either texting his friends or on his phone doing some shit. broke: tim stays up late working on cases, woke: tim stays up late texting his friends and playing video games over chat. tim just. interacts with his family, gets bullied by them, ya. that’s the life. also he and duke keep throwing hands because it’s the family curse to beat up tim and in this essay i will discuss how dick is the superior sibling because he never tried to kill tim—wait he probably pushed him down the stairs once nvm but it was totally justified, king

duke: texting-4, online-4 because he has, like, school. and daytime patrol. and is like a junior in high school and therefore has a fuck ton of homework. my boy has no time for family and he doesn’t want it because they’re annoying, obviously 🙄. if he wants drama he’ll go into damian’s room and get the drama. diy icon. he’s online as much as he texts but is so fast of a reader he’ll know the drama in time for the next episode of wayne family shit. most of his time online is picking fights with tim and roasting his siblings to a crisp. he’s so mean, guys, legend has it that one time duke told jason that his helmet looked like a shriveled up dildo and that it could never be the gay statement he wanted it to be jason went offline for that entire day in order to cry himself to sleep. at least he got sleep (allegedly) ayyy duke the problem solver.

damian: texting-1.5, online 2 because the only time he’s texting is to ask dick for photos of bitewing and to send photos of his pets back as proper payment. a negotiator ugghhh father like son. damian honestly doesn’t care about the drama he just wants to sketch bitewing (using the photos dick sent as reference) into the Family Portrait Sketch™️ of the rest of the Animal Family™️. it is an honor for damian to create such a piece, picasso the women hater quakes in his grave as such art that blows his dog shit “art” FAR out of the water is developing. anyways, he goes online for that and to throw random barbs at his siblings. like no one is online and damian just throws a “drake is stupid” in chat and just dips. he’s online more to text the other teen titans and jon because they’re better than his dumbass family (and he texts grayson on messenger so fhdjdjsks) true chat cryptic, jason envies him

alfred: 0-texting, 10-online. huh who said that

“duke take down the tik toks, tim is crying”

“who has my sweatshirt??? i will kill you all” “i have it jason” “nvm cass that’s your sweatshirt now i’m sorry for being presumptuous don’t aTTACK ME” fhdjdjsks

“guys i have the day off do you want to hear when delilah said to jonathon it’s so funny” “are those the kids in your gymnastics class?” “ya” “tell us everything”

the bats just... love hearing drama about those kids because they’re so dramatic. apparently alex threw a rubber ball at maya and she tackled them. wild.

time for a round of: WHO SAID IT?!?!

“how do i make my text bold like the rest of you?” —bruce, dick, cass, and jason at some point.

“how do i change my screen name? please change it back to before” -cass when tim changed her name to “hal jordon #1 stan” (“what is a stan” —bruce), (“i don’t like it either change it back” —bruce after finding out what a stan is)

“what the fuck is a pog” —jason

“fucking ‘tik tok’. we used to use vine when i was a teen. i was a front line soldier of great disasters” —dick on one hand lmfao dick is so old but on the other hand holy shit you used vine??? tell us more about the battles fought

“what is a dilf?” —bruce after scrolling through twitter

ok that’s all, my brain is gone.

“cass dick is turning purple get off him” “no. make him give me my scarf back.” “oh dad that’s terrible can you send a video as evidence?”

“GUYS I FOUND A CAT AND IT SCRATCHED ME AND IM GOING TO THE HOSPITAL BUT GUYS!!! CAT!!!” “drake send a photo of the cat immediately” lmfao bruce zooms to the hospital after that text

“GUYS THE CAT HAS AN OWNER I CANT KEEP THE CAT 🥲” “the one time you could prove to be of use and you fail, drake.” “wow tim, find a cat to steal without an owner next time” “timmy, timmy, timmy, i can’t believe you’ve messed up in finding a cat again” “again?” “again?” “again?” “when i adopt a cat i’m not showing any of you, i hate you all” (lmao hard version of guess who is who i’ll give you a hint dick cass and bruce are the confused ones. )ok it’s not hard anymore.

“dad please get me a cat 😳🐱 haha jk 🤣😩 unless 👀😏😃🙏🥰” anyways tim named the cat starry because of her fur-hair-thingy

“they just so you all know steph just crashed in my apartment and i have work in the morning” “i will pick her up in the morning” “you mean tim will, you don’t have a license, cass. anyways”

“dick do you need help moving?” “no, bruce, i think i can handle it, donna and wally are helping me anyways, but thank you” “mOVING???” “OUT OF YOUR APARTMENT???” “DICK THAT SAME APARTMENT ON 666 HELLHOLE AVENUE???” “...ya?” “NOOOOO” anyways they all break into dick’s new apartment when he moves in, walk around it, and then leave. they just... ya... damn, these bats...

anyways that’s all. see ya.

[i-am-a-reader-fear-me]

A Percabeth AU where they keep their relationship secret in fear of what their parents might think. (Warning: this goes over both PJO and HoO so it's very long):

The beginning of TLT goes as it should but after Percy is claimed, Annabeth is suddenly meaner and colder.

He remembers the Poseidon/Athena rivalry but doesn't see why they have to hate each other bcuz of their parents.

But Annabeth doesnt relent.

They still go on the quest together bcuz "you are so going to fail without a daughter of Athena."

But they still argue a lot and give poor Grover a satyr migraine.

When they have that bonding moment on the truck, Percy thinks maybe they're sorta friends, but Annabeth proves that wrong later by calling him a "Seaweed Brain" bcuz he's so stupid.

Percy fires back with "Wise Girl" but Annabeth seems to take that as more of a compliment than an insult.

(He doesn't stop calling her that tho)

After Luke betrays Percy, Annabeth's the one that found him after the dryads and she drags him to the infirmary but completely denies caring about him afterwards.

By SoM, Percy is so done with this and goes over to her asking if they could be friends.

Annabeth, who actually would like to be his friend, agrees with reluctancy, saying, "We have to keep it a secret though, or who knows what our parents might do."

Percy agrees.

Grover knows they're friends now cuz of the empathy link, but doesn't say anything.

In TTC, when Annabeth falls off the cliff, he blames himself more than ever, bcuz if they hadn't been fake arguing she might not have been distracted and fallen.

Thalia blames him even more too, and he has to keep his cover and can't tell her he knows it's all his fault.

Nico asks if Annabeth is Percy's girlfriend.

He says no, but he has a funny feeling in his heart.

He goes to the attic to ask the Oracle about Annabeth.

It doesn't answer.

When he thinks Artemis is about to ask Annabeth to join the Hunters, he knows he has to tell her something, even if it meant blowing their cover.

He breathes a sigh of relief when Artemis asks Thalia, and Annabeth is waiting for him to talk with narrowed eyes as if trying to figure out what he wants to say.

He chokes. (~Like doesn't say his feelings, not actually choke lol~)

In BotL, they are totally going out on a secret unofficial movie date but ofc the fiasco with Kelli at Goode happens.

Annabeth gets really jealous when Rachel appears. (Especially since Rachel has more opportunity to go out with Percy bcuz Annabeth and Percy have to pretend to hate each other.)

Percy, ofc, does not realize why in Hades she's acting like she really hates him even though they're in private.

At camp, they're playing Capture the Flag when they stumble on an entrance to the Labyrinth.

They go down to hide from monsters and end up stuck.

It's so dark Annabeth grabs his hand to keep from being separating. (~this is canon, they were holding hands I checked~)

When they find their way back out, it appears almost an hour had gone by when they were sure they were down for a couple minutes.

The campers were searching for the two of them and are immediately suspicious when they find the two alone. Together.

But they forget about that when Clarisse comes and asks about the "hole" they fell into and Annabeth suggests they continue talking in private.

It is then that Annabeth, Percy, Grover, and Tyson go on their quest.

When Annabeth and Percy reach Mount St. Helens they are quickly found out.

Percy tells Annabeth to escape saying he has a plan. (He really doesn't)

She kisses him. (~whaaaaaaaat~)

When she leaves, Percy apparently decides to cause a volcano to erupt. (~ya he doez~)

He lands on Ogygia, while Annabeth, thinking he is dead, goes back to camp, alone.

When she returns, they ask where Percy, Grover, and Tyson are but she refuses to say anything.

They realize what happened.

They have a burning of the shroud ceremony where she doesn't say anything, sitting, her face emotionless, but her heart in turmoil as she listens to Chiron.

That's when Percy crashes the funeral.

Annabeth is outraged.

She pretends it's because "THE WHOLE QUEST IS BEING HELD UP BECAUSE OF YOU! AND WHAT WERE YOU DOING, ENJOYING A VACATION AT PARADISE ISLAND?!?!"

It's really because she was head over heels with worry and grief (while he's off with sOmE imMorTal gOdDeSs) but she can't let anyone know that.

She is certainly not happy when Rachel joins their quest.

(Percy still doesn't get it.)

Before TLO, they are playing Capture the Flag, and the two are on opposite sides. (~in The Demigod Files, the story they find Festus for the first time in~)

Annabeth and Silena capture Percy and Beckendorf and the boys suffer an utter loss. (Were the myrmekes part of the plan? They'll never know.)

Beckendorf and Silena totally know they like each other no matter how much Percy and Annabeth fake it and try to get one of them to ask each other to the Independence Day firework show.

Annabeth does end up asking Percy and they watch the fireworks secretly next to the woods so no one sees them.

They hold hands or something else just as cute idk.

In TLO, when the Battle of Manhattan starts, everyone is surprised when Annabeth let's Percy take the lead.

When she takes the blade for Percy she says it was bcuz "I didn't know it was him!"

"So you would take a blade for anyone if it wasn't Percy?"

"...yes."

But by this time everyone secretly ships Percabeth so no one questions it.

After the war, Percy gives up immortality mostly for her but only those two know it. (And maybe Grover).

Annabeth asks him to meet her in the woods and when he does, she brings him a lumpy blue-colored cake which Tyson helped make. (Bcuz of course Tyson knows that they're secretly friends but Grover told him not to tell anyone).

They kiss, duh.

But then a monster comes out from the woods and they don't want to fight it after they just had a war so they run.

They end up by the lake and Percy pulls Annabeth in to get away from the monster.

Cue best underwater kiss ever.

They date in secret for two months but Percy's mom knows.

When Percy goes missing, Annabeth freaks.

She searches for him everywhere and if anyone asks why she's searching so hard for someone she doesn't even like, she just replies, "He probably just disappeared bcuz it's his turn to do the camp chores and I will not let him slack off," or "Who else am I supposed to use for target practice???"

(None of the campers who'd been in the Titan war buy it.)

In SoN, the only thing Percy remembers is Annabeth, but for some reason, he has this instinct to not tell anyone about her so he doesn't.

In MoA she still judo flips him and acts all mad (which she is) but he still laughs it off and says all sarcastic, "Oh, did the smartass daughter of Athena miss me?"

But he missed her too.

When they go to eat lunch Annabeth and Percy excuse themselves to "go to the bathroom" but they really snuck off to have their own private reunion.

"I missed you so much, Seaweed Brain. Don't ever disappear like that again."

"I'm sorry, Wise Girl. I missed you too."

*kissing*

Later, when Annabeth and Percy sneak off to the Pegasi stables on the Argo II and sleep next to each other.

Frank finds them.

They swear they didn't do anything and threaten Frank into silence.

He can never look at them the same way again though.

When Annabeth has to get the Athena Parthenos, Percy paces the deck of the Argo but says he's not worried about a daughter of Athena.

When she finally gets the statue, he goes down to meet her but she trips and falls into the Pit.

He catches her, but now he's hanging on a ledge.

"Percy, let me go. You can't pull us both up." She whispers, knowing they're too low for the others to hear.

"We're staying together. You're not getting away from me. Never again." He whispers back.

"As long as we're together."

At least in Tartarus, they don't have to pretend they don't absolutely, utterly love each other.

In Blood of Olympus, Percy, Annabeth, and Piper are walking underground to the monster's base in the Parthenon when they see a trident mark in the ground.

Annabeth says it's the place where Poseidon struck the ground.

At this point, Percy turns to Piper and asks, "Can you keep a secret?"

Piper nods.

That's when Percy kisses Annabeth.

When he pulls away, he says, "This is where the rivalry ends….for us, at least."

Piper acts surprised but on the inside she is rAGING bcuz now Leo owes her ten bucks but she can't tell him.

After the Giant war they consider telling their friends, but they're not sure…

Idk how to end this just keep going

Sort of a bonus:

The Hephaestus and Athena cabins worked together to make everyone monster-proof phones (which also correct their dyslexia) and Annabeth and Percy use them all the time to text each other and no one knows.

Jason asks Percy to come to a cafe with some of the others, and Annabeth and Percy are texting the whole time.

Their convo goes something like this:

'hey Annabeth, me, Jason, Frank and some of the others r going to that cafe on 31st street'

'*Jason, Frank, some of the others and I' 'Really? Piper, Hazel, and I are going there too. They mentioned Jason, Frank, and Leo might be there, but not you.'

'weird, they didn't say anything about u either' 'hey wait a sec, Jason's texting on some gc called Operation Get Them Together' 'the other guys' phones r ringing everytime he sends something…'

'What? Operation Get Them Together???'

'yeah'

'....'

'what'

'Oh no.'

'what??? Annabeth????'

'They're trying to set us up.'

'wdym set us up'

'I MEAN, they're TRYING to get us TO GET TOGETHER'

'huh?'

'THEY WANT US TO GO OUT PERCY! YOU KNOW, TO BE A COUPLE???'

'ok okkk u don't have to yell'

'🤦‍♀️'

'so what do we do'

'I think we should go along with it.'

'wait hold on, Jason's asking me who im texting'

'Wait, tell him it's your girlfriend. Just to screw with them.'

'haha yes ur a genius'

'I know.'

Percy tells Jason that he is texting his girlfriend, to which Jason replies by "What?!" and frantically starts typing on the group chat to tell everyone that 'YOU GUYS PERCY SAYS HE HAS A GF ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION!!!'

To which Piper is the first to reply, saying, 'Nah, trust me, keep going with it'

At this point, they reach the cafe, and the boys and girls meet up at a table.

Annabeth, immediately going into acting mode, says, "What is he doing here?"

Percy fires back with a scowl and says, "You didn't tell me she was going to be here. I'm leaving."

Jason stops him tho

Percy and Annabeth sit down at the table, but everyone is still standing.

Piper and Hazel say they have to go to the bathroom and leave.

Jason and Leo say they're going to go order (even tho it's a sit down with a menu and order type of cafe???)

Everyone seems to have some kind of excuse to leave until Percy and Annabeth are left alone.

The two pull out their phones again.

'Seriously? This is their plan? Say we're all going out to eat and then leave the two of us alone?'

'ig' 'what do we do now'

'I don't know.' They're probably spying on us…'

'um is that Reyna, Hazel, and Calypso in the bushes with mud and green war paint on their faces?'

Reyna, Hazel, and Calypso were indeed hiding in the bushes (with binoculars) with mud and green war paint on their faces.

'Wtf?? How'd they do that so fast???' 'And is that Leo and Piper holding newspapers with eyeholes cut through???'

'lol yea...then that eagle flying above us is prolly Frank'

'Jason is hiding in the clouds to your six.'

'where r Nico and Will?'

'I think that's them making out in the bushes.'

'lmaoo im so gonna tease them for that' 'so what do we do now Wise Girl'

'...' 'Follow my lead.'

'k'

Annabeth puts away her phone and stands up.

Percy follows her lead.

She says, "We know you guys are there, just come out. It's not going to work. And we see you too, Nico and Will."

The other demigods come out of their hiding spots (the two who had been called out looking especially sheepish).

"Why not?" Piper says, knowing perfectly well why not.

Percy looks between Annabeth and Piper, and seems to come to a decision.

"Because," he says and goes over to Annabeth and kisses her, "we're already together."

The responses were very diverse.

"What?!"

"I knew it!"

"Leo! My ten bucks. Now."

"Yeah, I walked in on them sleeping together…"

"So we did all this for nothing???"

"Wait, did you say sleeping together?"

They arguing stops as two flashes of light almost blind everyone and two gods appear.

Poseidon and Athena.

For several seconds, the two gods just stare at Percy and Annabeth (who are now holding hands just bcuz)

Then, finally, after what seemed and EXCRUCIATINGLY long time, Poseidon turns to Athena and says:

"I was right, you were wrong, I was RIGHT, you were WRONG, I WAS RIGHT, YOU WERE WRONG, YOU OWE ME FIFTY DRACHMAS BIRD BRAIN"

This was not the reaction the demigods was expecting if you couldn't tell

Athena just scowls and makes a pouch filled with drachmas appear, and throws it at Poseidon.

Poseidon catches it, bringing out what appears to be a phone and starts calling someone.

Athena goes over to Percy and Annabeth.

She looks mad, and Annabeth tries to let go of Percy's hand, panicking, trying to think of a lie, but Percy doesn't let go.

"My daughter is the smartest and best of my children, and as much as I don't approve of this, if she chose you, sea-spawn, she must have a good reason. But if you step one foot out of line, I will have you punished, understood?"

Athena addresses this to Percy, who nods fearfully.

"Good."

Suddenly there are a bunch more flashes of light as more gods appear bcuz apparently, Poseidon wanted everyone to see that he was right and Athena was wrong.

Ofc chaos ensues.

But Percy and Annabeth are still holding hands and look at each other and feel overwhelmingly happy for the first time in a long time because now they don't have to keep their relationship a secret anymore.

THE END~

WTF HAVE I WRITTEN.

[palmett-hoes]

Do you have any fan casts or strong takes/feelings on the foxes’ appearances? Fandom tends to use the same Pinterest models, which feels wrong to me.

i do in fact! i've actually been meaning to make a post about how i choose to write all of the foxes' ethnicities anyway

but yes i absolutely agree that the typical pinterest model types u generally see on edits is not how i see any of them. nor is reece king or froy gutierrez or lucky blue smith one of my FCs for anyone

for a lot of them i don't necessarily have a single specific FC so much as i have like,, a general impression of features that i will see on various different people, who all may look wildly different from each other or who may not even look how i see the character as a whole but do have a specific feature i associate with them. mostly it boils down to the Energy i get tbh and that's just a Feeling i cant even explain

fun fact im a tiny bit face blind so that might account for some of why i'm so all-over about this

may as well go chronologically. some of them i definitely have more thoughts on than others

1. Dan

ethnicity: Afro Native (Sioux)

features: medium dark skin. buzzcut, killer fade. she often styles it in waves. she's very butch, wears a lot of basketball and cargo shorts, tank tops and flannels and jerseys, hiking boots. skinny but muscular, with a very rectangular body shape. defined jaw. probably like 5'4 or 5'5

FC/Energy: sometimes i get some dan energy out of janelle monae but more butch. lotta dan energy out of samira wiley. lashana lynch

2. Kevin

ethnicity: a lot of things tbd, but he's pretty multi-ethnic. i like the idea of kayleigh being half- or a quarter-japanese in addition to irish because it gives her more of a reason to go to japan for her undergrad. wymack is from d.c. which is a majority black city for its actual residents, but i also like the idea of him being Pasifika/Hawaiian. HOWEVER - and this is pretty important to my read of kevin's character - he's white passing, and has been mostly treated as a white guy who tans his whole life, like occasionally asked if he's italian maybe. learning that his father was a Distinctly Not White Man was a big shock to him.

kristin kreuk, lindsay price, phoebe cates, and marie digby are all half-asian actresses i base kayleigh on

i suppose i base his story partially on broadway actress carol channing, who revealed publically that she was a quarter black when she was like 80 years old. though maybe wentworth miller, a biracial actor who knows his father is black but also doesn't know him, is more accurate to kevin's story. then keanu reeves is a white passing actor with asian ancestry

also none of these people look anything like how i picture kevin lol. kevin is just like,, a guy. handsome ig. but kind of in a CW character kind of way

actually

kevin looks exactly like young jason momoa

3. Andrew

ethnicity: kayin/karen from myanmar

features: fat and muscular, very wide and heavy. this blog is basically all andrew body type refs. medium-olive skin, has a bit of a greyish tinge that makes him look a bit eerie or unhealthy. deep set, droopy eyes; looks so tired. flat face with a low-bridged nose. crooked teeth, especially his canines. natural hair black-ish but he bleaches it light blond. has the beginnings of martial artist punching callouses in his knuckles

FC/Energy: holy shit the characters i feel have Andrew Energy are all over the place. pedro pascal. babe ruth (yes fr). oddjob (harold sakata) from goldfinger. the jinn (mousa kraish) from american gods. gaear grimsrud (peter stormare) from fargo. takeshi kovacs (joel kinnaman) from altered carbon. and i wanna be clear, it's these characters specifically, and generally NOT the actors outside of that specific role. except pedro ❤️

4. Matt

ethnicity: cuban

appearance: matt has more of an Energy than specific features to me rn. that energy is Warm. he has that Warm bro jock dude energy. kind of a marvel hero build, hunky and muscular. very rectangular face. has this haircut:

5. Aaron

i get to cut myself some slack and not go AS in depth about aaron because he and andrew are identical twins

ethnicity: kayin/karen from myanmar

appearance: similar build to andrew, less confident and casual posture and body language. less apathetically murderous and more emotive expressions. better teeth bc his mom took him to the dentist. yes also bleaches his hair

celebrities: probably a lot like the difference between the characters and the actors. andrew is the characters and aaron is how the actors actually look. idk ive never looked at someone and thought 'hey! looks like aaron!'

6. Seth

ethnicity: have been going with half-vietnamese. considering looking into various south asian possibilities like pakistani

appearance: string bean build. that's all i have to offer

7. Allison

ethnicity: allison's very up in the air for me. she and seth are the two foxes i feel fine with being white, but im committing to having no white foxes sooo. i would say i generally see her as either half-middle eastern or chinese

appearance: plus sized and hourglass shaped. heart shaped face. taller, like 5'8 or 5'9. she has a pretty fraught history with her appearance and her parents payed for/pressured her into getting a nose job to have a 'prettier' nose. she also bleaches her hair blonde. she gets it done at a salon tho the twinyards do it in their bathroom

FC/Energy: elle king and nadia aboulhosn are my main inspos for her, esp body type but nadia esp in Vibes

8. Nicky

ethnicity: multi-ethnic. his mother is southern mexican Indigenous, possibly oaxacan. his father is mixed white/kayin

appearance: definitely takes after his mother while his father is white passing. dark brown skin, warm undertones. slightly stocky build. tall ovular head and thin aquiline nose. he's kind of just,, the opposite of the twins ig, so like their facial features look very different, which is a big part of why people don't make the connection between him and the twins alongside the difference in their skin tones, heights, and builds. nicky's build and features are very vertically-oriented, with a tall head, narrow-set eyes, thin nose with a high bridge, etc. the twins are horizontally-orienged, with broad, flat faces, wide-set eyes, wide noses with a low bridge, etc.

FC/Energy: yalitza aparicio, not a guy but one of the few Mexican Indigenous stars in the film industry and i really like her features for nicky. she's oaxacan

9. Renee

ethnicity: Black. african american

appearance: plus sized, circular/apple body shape. round face. dark skin. microlocs to a bit past her chin, bleached white and dyed at the ends. she and allison go to the salon together. femme but plain style, a lot of blouses and long skirts, practical shoes. knuckle callouses. about 5'6

FC/Energy: dominique fishback. tracie thoms, esp in RENT. gabourey sidibe. nicole byer, but not in Energy. brandy, for some reason, probably bc i think she has very serene Energy and is a little bit otherworldly. like if brandy played arwen or galadriel from lotr it would make perfect sense to me, and that's the Renee Energy™️

10. Neil

ethnicity: mixed. Black/Jewish on both sides. his father is polish ashkenazi and afro-brazilian. his mother is Black British and algerian jewish

appearance: very... sharp. like sharp all over. does that make sense? sharp features, sharp face shape, sharp angles to his body. he's got what i vaguely think of as a 'basketball build' not meaning tall but meaning very rangy and angular and lean. all limbs. seth has a similar build. lighter brown skin. he has waardenburg syndrome which is actually where he gets he gets his eye color, and his eyes are very large and widely spaced as well. freckles freckles freckles. freckles everywhere. 4a hair but at least during canon it's not very healthy and thus the curls aren't well-defined. he grows it out long enough to tie back and starts taking better care of it in post-canon. wonky, slightly crooked teeth, with a gap between the fronts

FC/Energy: now neil i actually have a ton for. mostly models which im a lil ashamed of bc i do try to draw more from athletes. alton mason is a main body type ref. mugsy bogues is good to see what i mean about the basketball build without the height. here're the boys: cykeem white, luka sabbat, désiré mia, Leo Hoyte-Egan, dylan hasselbaink, this beautiful stock photo model i've never been able to track down

i think about him every. goddamn. day.

in terms of like,, real ppl and not models: corbin bleu, especially during Jump In. figure skater elladj balde. rayan "ray ray" lopez from mindless behavior. A$AP Rocky a lil bit, maybe i just like his hairstyle idk

two more models i think are important: carissa pinkston and ralph souffrant

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #238

“crimson calligraphy written on the trees, creature from the grave, headless and hellbent for me.”

Have you ever played golf? Like, mini-golf. Is there a lake near your house? No, but there's two small ponds down the road. Have you ever made your own pizza or pasta dough? No. Have you ever watched an entire season of a tv show in one day? Uhhhhh how long are the first few seasons of Supernatural? Because Jason and I fucking binged it, and I honestly think that's partially the reason I don't even enjoy TV anymore. Like I liked the show, but jfc it became torture at some point. Not his fault at all, I just never pointed it out. BUT ANYWAY, it's definitely possible we did. What did you have for dinner tonight (or last night)? A ham and cheese hot pocket. Do your parents do things that ‘embarrass’ you? This is so mean, but my mom makes the cringiest jokes and such imo that gives me mad secondhand embarrassment. Do you like any Bon Jovi songs? Yeah, a decent handful. Who was the last person you were in a car with? Mom. Do you give people second chances? Ha, more than "second." How’re things between you and your most recent ex? We're totally great. Really as if we didn't even break up, considering I mean... nothing emotionally has changed. We just know that being together right now isn't the wise decision. It's frustrating as hell, though. We've already established we're not going to "wait" for each other, but neither of us are actively looking for a new partner, either. I want her, and from what I can tell, she wants me, too. We kinda just... don't talk about how unfair it all is anymore because we both get too upset. I was even supposed to go up there with her and her fam for her birthday and Christmas, but that's changed because she and I agree it's too soon after splitting, making it only more difficult to be around each other. We'd want to cuddle and kiss and such by instinct, so we're trying to wait until the wound isn't as fresh. Though honestly, I don't know how visiting period would go consider as said, there has been zero change in romantic attraction. Ugh yeah I just hope she figures out what she wants and all and we can get back together. Have you been to a wedding this year? No. I'm going to my half-sister's next year, though. Are you an aunt or uncle? Yes, and another niece is on her way. :') Do you expect to be married in the next two years? Probably not. What season is your birthday in? Winter. Have you ever been hunting? Fuck that shit. How often do you walk around barefoot? Always in my own house + in other houses if I'm allowed to take my shoes off. When you eat take-out, do you just eat it out of the containers provided? Usually, but it does depend on what food it is. Ex., those little boxes that have rice in them from Chinese places? I'm using a bowl. From the container is just messy. Would you need to sleep with someone before considering marrying them? Nah. Do you carry condoms? No. Would you date someone who has a hearing aid? ... Yes...? "No" is just... so rude?? Like that is something the person absolutely cannot help, nor is it a HUGE thing. It's just a hearing aid, dude. How organized are the files on your computer? Pretty decent. Folders and such. Could be better still, probably. Have you ever been to a strip club? Nah, not my scene. Have you ever brought home a stray animal? Pleeeeenty of cats. Are you physically strong? No, especially not my legs. I've got a newborn fawn's legs, jc. Still working on building the muscle back up. Would you date someone with braces? Oh my god, fuck off. Yes I would. I was the person with braces dating someone without them, so 1.) I obviously can't say shit, 2.) they're taking care of their goddamn teeth, and 3.) I dunno, wearing braces has no goddamn impact on personality???????????? Does scuba diving interest you? Not to an incredible degree, but it'd be cool. Would you ever ask your parents for relationship advice? Maybe for certain topics. Do you think people look up to you? Y'know that "oh no hunty WHAT is u doin" meme??? That's me if someone does. How often do you have trouble sleeping at night? *blinking* There are people who don't??????? Do you blush easily? Ohhhhhh yes. Do you get angry at yourself or at others more often? Hm. Not sure. Can you name five current world leaders? AHAHA nope. How many times have you had the flu? Zero. Do you think imagination is valuable? Oh hell yes. We would be NOWHERE CLOSE to where we are as animals without it. Who or what are you most impatient with? I don't know. When was the last time you mowed a lawn? Never. Have you seen all of the Star Wars films? No; seen only the first three with a friend and saw zero appeal. He didn't either. How about all of the Harry Potter ones, so far? I haven't even seen one. Jason and I started the first one together but. Paid way more attention to each other than the movie lmfao. What part of the newspaper do you typically enjoy reading? None. I collect my school's papers now though 'cuz I'm the photographer for it. :') Have you ever made a website, even a simple one? Four that I remember. The ancient and now-defunct ones were back when I think this site called Wetpaint was a host for simple sites, and a lot of us RPers posted our mob info and stuff there. I had one for Talons, one for Connrads. Ha, out of curiosity, I think I looked for them not all too long ago since I never actually deleted them, but I think the site itself was re-purposed. NOW, I have a Wix site for my photography, and then Kalahari Manor is a ProBoards-hosted site. Which was better: your childhood or your teen years? Jfc, childhood. Teen years were a chaotic and rancid cesspit in terms of mental health. What was your reaction to your first time falling in love? I truly imagine that realizing I was *in love* with Jason surpassed what a high probably feels like lmao. What does it take for someone to win your heart? I'm actually putting thought into this one and I think what appeals to me in a person most is just being friendly with a good sense of humor and obvious, shameless concern for others. AND JFC, HAVE EMOTION. Don't be a brick wall with me. Lacking an emotional side, positive or negative, is such a turn-off to me. I'm not attracted to robots. Being a gentle person is important, and for me personally, you need to actually act like you're into me. Not just between us. Do not make me a secret. AND BE CREATIVE AND WEIRD AND FRESH!!!!!!!!!!! There's nothing wrong with more "vanilla" people, but just for me myself, I need someone who stands out for some good reason. lol okay this answer's actually getting kinda long, I'll stop. There's a number of ways. What is one thing you would rather be doing? Ha ha yo real talk, Sara and I are getting all emotional and deep into our relationship, platonic or romantic, and I want me and her in her bed right now tearing each other up alsdkjfla;kwejre I love her a lot ok. When was the last time you changed your mind about something? OKAY SO I started a new birth control, right? It. Sent. Me. BACK. With my PTSD. How? Idfk, but I was suddenly obsessing over Him again, badly. I stopped that shit, and wha'd'ya know, two days later, I'm like "lol wtf I don't want him why did that just happen hunty was u ok????????". SO YEAH, that was a trip. Do you know anyone with a lisp? I'm not sure. Possibly. How much weight can you lift at once? No clue. Not a lot. Do you ask guys out, or wait for them to ask you out? I've never asked a guy out, but I wouldn't say I wouldn't. Do you like the last person who showed interest in you? I love her. Describe the last person you stared at? I have no idea. Do you like dating one person at a time, or multiple people? I'm personally monogamous. Have your experiences made you more or less sympathetic to others? MORE. Do you find smoking unattractive? I do. Have your parents ever searched your personal belongings? Mom has. Where did you get your last bruise from? ... Well. This is uh. Awkward. Tying into when I was on that medicine that made my libido fucking uncontrollable (thank the fucking lord I'm back to normal), my breasts are lookin rough, sister. Are you looking forward to anything? Nothing in the VERY near future, I think. A bit further off, Christmas. I can't wait to see the kids so excited again, and for once, we come together as a true family. Plus my #1 wish is to have my Mark tattoo improved at an amazing parlor, and I'm pretty sure that'll be happening, just obvs. not on Christmas Day itself. I'll just be fuckin STOKED when I *know* it's happening. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Yes. How much money did you spend today? $1.25 for something from the vending machine. I didn't have breakfast, so I was really hungry. When you’re bored in class, what do you usually do? Try to not doze off. If we're not doing anything, then I'll play around with my phone. Have you ever had a song stuck in your head for more than a day? Oh, definitely. Ever walked into the guy’s bathroom? HA as a stupid elementary school with her friends, we sure did during a work day (my mom used to work with special ed kids at school). We thought we were soooo rebellious. How many wives or husbands do you want? One. What happens if you fall in love with your best friend? Ha, did. I still am, and we hope to be back together someday. Has a teacher ever flirted with you? Not that I know of. Thankfully. Is it okay for friends to kiss each other, as friends? It's not my thing, but sure, if it's consenting and both are aware it's platonic. Do your wishes ever get granted in the worst way possible? Probably in some way at some point I don't recall. How do you feel about your naked body? NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO Have you ever been called obnoxious? I don't think so, anyway. Do you wish you had a bigger family? No. Which friend would you kiss full on the mouth, no questions asked? Sara. Can you do a split or stick your foot up next to your ear? Nope. When was the last time you complained about something? I was venting some mild frustration to Sara earlier tonight. What is your favorite color combination? Favorite is probably pastel orange and light blue. Love it. Then there's pastel pink and purple. Okay pretty much any combination is about the pastels When was the last time you spoke in front of a group? A month or so back when I had to do my Lifeline presentation in FYS. Do you like group projects, or do you prefer to work alone? I strongly prefer working alone. There's no disagreements, compromises, incompetent partners, etc. Have you ever been told you were going to Hell? Yup! (: Indirectly, but. How did you respond? I don't recall, but I wish I did. Who is the most argumentative person you know? She's not in my life anymore partially BECAUSE of that shit. Do you know anyone who is crazy about proper grammar? Yes, but she has OCD as a valid reason. I'm pretty particular about it too to a degree. Who was the last person to make you feel special? Oh my gosh, my therapist told me she was so proud of me and the progress I was making that I just entirely lit up and became a total beaming ball of giggles and "thank you"s. Would you feel funny if you kissed somebody of the same sex? No, I'm bi. If your best friend grabs your hand, what do you automatically do? Squeeze it. What’s something you can cook or bake like a pro? Cheesy and spicy scrambled eggs, man. Also known as the only thing I can properly cook lmao. Do you tend to flirt a lot, even when the person isn’t single? Fuck no, if they're not single. I'll flirt with my s/o when I see it appropriate or relevant, and in a case where we're both single, I'd be very subtle about it because shy. What’s something that you think is really cute? Off the very top of my head, the Ewoks from Star Wars, oh my fucking god. They were the only thing I enjoyed in the movies. What’s a pretty bird? I mean... pretty much all of them. BUT, can we take a moment to appreciate the bearded vulture? like???? they're fucking BADASS???????????? Besides sleeping, what do you do in bed? Almost... everything. It's the reason I endured/am still recovering from muscle atrophy in my legs. Have you ever hacked into somebody’s account? Playfully, back when that was a thing for friends to do and post lovey-dovey stuff about them everywhere. Megan and I, and I believe Mini and I as well, did it to each other. Possibly more. Is having to pee really badly worse than being really thirsty? Oh hell yes it is. The former can get to a point of hurting. Have you ever touched a Qu'ran? No. Do you love animals more than most? Oh definitely. Why do you eat fast food? It's easy to grab when on the run, and Mom has almost zero time to cook. Then we both have school. Most often I just warm things up in the microwave or grab something substantial enough in the fridge. Is there always going to be that one person you and a friend makes fun of? I guess you could say indirectly, yes. Just something she said in a certain way became an inside joke. Her as a person, no, I wouldn't do that. What is a bad habit of yours that you’re actually trying to fix? Having terrible eye contact. I have a very hard time maintaining it, but I've been trying to keep that weakness in mind when talking to people. Do you write out your feelings? That's one reason why I take these surveys, yes. Do you have bills to pay yet? It's embarrassing that I don't. Not saying like, I want to pay bills, what madman would, but I do want to feel more like a proper, independent adult. Will you be changing your hair any time soon? Not the style, but one thing I'm asking for Christmas is a professional to dye my hair silver. I say pro because my hair does NOT hold color, and because of the bleach needed, Mom's concerned I'll damage my hair if I put my trust into anyone less qualified. Does your mom have a celebrity look-alike? I don't think so, but she looks UNCANNILY like her firstborn daughter. It is SCARY. Is there something you wish you could learn to do? There's loads of stuff. Probably above all, cook. Or stop procrastinating. If you could be amazing at ONE thing, what would it be? Drawing precisely what I see in my head. Because of how important they are to me, I would pay BIG FUCKING BUCKS to get how my 'kats look onto paper. What do you wish people would pay you to do? Complain about my weight. :^) I'd be able to just pay for surgery to fix that within a day. Do you take good pictures? I personally think I do. I mean I wanna be a professional photographer. How would one go about impressing you? It depends on the subject and difficulty of whatever. What probably impresses me most would be someone maintaining a mature, peaceful attitude when there is reason to act otherwise. Self-control, that's it. Do you automatically apologize if you walk into somebody? Duh? Tell me a memory of this summer: It was fucking scorching and I hated every minute of it. What’s something that you don’t need, but really want? Hmmmm. OH, HELL YES. IF I had the proper body to even remotely pull them off, I. Would wear. NOTHING. But corsets. Jesus FUCKING Christ they are so hot. What do you draw more than anything else? Just about all I draw is meerkats. What’s the most favorite class you’ve ever had? The Digital Photography course I took in high school. Or Art Honors my junior year. I really enjoyed the stuff I made. For each person you’ve kissed, describe your feelings in one word: Jason: melancholy; Tyler: dramatic; Girt(?): loyal; Sara: ideal. How do you react when you trip or stumble? Gasp and carry on. If it was a more serious trip, I look around at who saw. Are you good at “biting your tongue”? NO. Why do you love the one you do? She's been there for me without fail, has undying faith in me, supports me through everything, is honest, she's funny and very unique, her adoration for animals shows a great level of compassion, she trusts me so much despite her history, she stands extremely firmly for what she sees as right and wrong... okay I can honestly write an essay on why I love her. Would you rather get [another] tattoo or piercing? GIMME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 THE TATTOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111 Do you have long or short legs? I'd say they're normal, idk. When do you listen to Nickelback? *shrugs* When I wanna? Would you rather make the first move, or your crush? Them. I'm shy.

[lostinafictionaluniverse]

Riverdale 1x11 thoughts

This review is rather late seeing as the new episode airs tomorrow, but I wanted to get it out since I definitely wouldn’t do it after watching 1x12 and also because I didn’t want 1x12 to cloud my thoughts about 1x11.

The more things change, the more they stay the same. Jason’s death was months ago, and since then none of the events in Riverdale have been cancelled. So why should Homecoming be the exception? They mentioned the football game – Riverdale Bulldogs Vs the Baxter High Ravens. When is this game happening? Will we get to see it – maybe in the finale?

Some scenes in this episode seemed so superfluous, almost as though they had to be included because Molly Ringwald was the guest star and she has to have something to do. All her scenes this episode could’ve been cut without losing anything. Her conversation with Archie showed nothing except that she knows what Archie’s been up to with his song-writing thanks to Fred. Didn’t Fred tell Mary about the important stuff – like Grundy? Why couldn’t Mary and Archie’s conversation have been about that?

So Ronnie gave evidence that would help her dad and now she’s anxious that he’ll be out of jail soon. She obviously shares or used to share a very close relationship with him, but all that changed when he so obviously threatened her in that letter. Now she seems to want nothing to do with him, that fear going to the extent of wanting him to stay in jail. Hermione – I still don’t understand her motivations for hooking up with Fred when her loyalties seem to lie with Hiram. She seems happy he’ll be released. That could be relief that she could go back to her lifestyle once he’s back or it could be from genuine affection. I thought she had some nefarious intent when she kissed Fred, but now I think she was just lonely and needy.

Jughead and FP was my most favorite scene in this episode – it was so organic, real and the conversation flowed so effortlessly between these two. FP being honest about himself and Juggie’s talent and Juggie being surprised that he actually read his work and engaged with it - truly the equivalent of tectonic plates shifting for him. That again crushes my heart when I think of how little it took for Juggie to start hoping again – his dad had shaved, not missed work and had quit drinking, and taken interest in him. Something that had never happened in 16 years. Wow! FP, you truly were a shitty dad.

“That’s what Betty says and then it’s about a dozen suggestions”. Throwback to “I’ll help, and suggest and edit but it’s your story, your voice”. Can we please have a scene with Betty talking to Juggie about his manuscript and her dozen suggestions??

Is Riverdale a place of good or a place of darkness and evil? This is something that can posited over people in Riverdale too. Betty? Veronica? Fred Andrews? FP? Alice? Cheryl? Penelope? Hal?

Juggie looks surprised and a little deflated when FP says this shouldn’t be the most important story he should be telling and that he should move on.  

Ronnie was blowing off Archie because of what she found out about Hiram? Does she already sense that her hooking up with him might cause her dad to react in an unfavorable way? Or is it that she has too much on her mind?

Alice Cooper wants to include the Pussycats as suspects. Was this dialogue included to hint at Alice’s ineffectiveness in investigating the murder since she obviously suspected FP and he seems to be innocent? So the Pussycats are too? And Hiram Lodge and Joaquin?  

Way to go, Betty, standing up for your man’s beliefs!

That wig room is seriously creepy. And Cliff Blossom has grey hair. This seems common knowledge since Hermione commented on it once. So why the pretence? Is it symbolic of something- like the Blossoms are good at covering things up? Or is something deeper and more nefarious? (like my Cliff’s twin theory)

 Ronnie not feeling the same loyalty to the Jones family is not surprising. They are friends, yes, but kind of forced friends. It’s like Juggie said in ep 10, he would’ve shunned Ronnie two months ago. He’s only friends with her because Archie and Betty are. And Ronnie possibly feels the same about Juggie. I wish they’d thrown Ronnie and Juggie together in a sleuthing adventure to develop their friendship a little more. I guess there are more seasons to do that.

Archie’s songs make you wanna slit your wrists in a good way, Juggie? LOL, that wasn’t very kind. But Betty skeptical look was surprising, she was all over Archie and his songs earlier. Shows how much her judgement was clouded by the fact that she liked him then, she didn’t have one bad thing to say about him. But now? She looks at him more objectively now. Juggie finishing Betty’s sentence was so Bughead and Ronnie standing up for Archie was nice. But dude, she only agreed to sing with him so she could inveigle a favor outta him? Cheap! Kevin’s facial expressions are so cute, I really want Casey to have more scenes in Season 2, he’s so good.

Archie is such a fuckboy – omg his expression goes from overeager to ididn’tsignupforthisshit in 2 seconds after Ronnie talks about the “favor”. LOL!

Ronnie is completely focused on her dad’s release and what it would mean for her if he were indeed tied up with Jason’s murder. Understandable. But couldn’t she spare a thought for Jughead and the fact that it’s his dad she was so callously suspecting? And she did think Juggie could be protecting his dad – she suspected Juggie too! Not kosher Ronnie! Archie said the first sensible thing in weeks when he said “There’s a difference between vandalism and murder”. Yeah right, Ronnie. FP is a thug, but that doesn’t make him a killer?

This episode was about the power of manipulation and how one can use it effectively to get someone to play into one’s hands.

Ronnie used it for Archie, she tried to use his attraction to her to get him to help her snoop FPs trailer, but when that wasn’t enough, she used his affection for Jughead, which worked. “I hope you’re right or Jughead could find himself in the middle of something very messy and very dangerous”. When just minutes before she was ready to believe that Juggie was an accomplice who would warn his dad or protect him! This was clearly a manipulation technique that she used to get Archie thinking. The seeds were already sown in his head. Juggie talking about his dad’s interest in the murder provided the fodder for him to agree to Ronnie’s scheme. He didn’t want Juggie to get hurt, but he ended up hurting him anyway by his betrayal. Foolish Archie!

Alice manipulated Betty by using her love and loyalty to Juggie. She cleverly invited him and FP to dinner and then when Betty confronted her about her scheming, she cunningly played the “He was so excited, so you really want to break his heart by telling him?” card.

I get why Betty and Archie tried to protect Juggie, but why do they think he’s so fragile? I mean this guy has been hurt over and over by the people he cares about, and he still yearns and longs for love. He maybe cynical and sardonic on the outside but internally he always hopes for sunshine after darkness. He’s the epitome of resilience as I’ve said earlier in my meta (X), and it’s strange to me how his friends are all walking on eggshells around him. It’s sweet, but inexplicable.

So Hermione was a mean girl in school and thinks it’s karma that’s bitten her in the ass now. And Mary feels sorry for her and invites her to the dance. Glad to see there was no bitching between Mary and her, it was just old friends/ acquaintances catching up after a while. Mary must have known about Fred carrying a torch for Hermione back then, which is why she didn’t bat an eyelid when Alice outed their fling while they were in the restroom.

How happy was Juggie that Alice had invited him and FP over? This boy so wants his family and wants to feel part of Betty’s family too. “It’s important for us, you know” and his smile! UGH! Just protect him from all the hurt that keeps coming at him! He deserves the world!  

Okay, so the Blossoms protect their bedroom obsessively but Polly already discovered 2 secrets – the wigs and the ring. Penelope may have truly loved Jason but she was quietly menacing as she told Polly with sugary sweetness to stay away from the East wing. (dun dun dun). And lacing her milkshake with a sedative (even if it was a natural relaxer that wouldn’t harm the babies) was a just creepy. 

Archie and his parents scene was so ho-hum, I know it was there for Archie to see the possible rekindling of romance between his parents and make him yearn to have his family back together but it was such a yawn fest, until Juggie walked in. And didn’t Archie already know his mom was coming to hear him play at the dance? Or was he just surprised his dad and mom were coming together? And he was gonna play wasn’t he? But that glance for Juggie’s approval and Juggie’s “of course you’re playing dude how can u think of not” was supercute!

Juggie notices everything and he seems truly happy Fred and Mary could be getting back together. But why does Archie say it would’ve been Little Archie’s pipe dream? I mean Little Archie did have his parents together, and Mary left only 2 years ago, so Archie would’ve been around 13 and not so little? Or had the trouble started way back? Was Archie’s childhood tainted with fights and arguments too?

Poor Juggie is so excited about the tectonic plates shifting in his life finally with his dad shaving, quitting drink and showing up at work that he’s considering moving back with him. And this somehow triggers warning bells in Archie – Is Archie capable of even this little bit of logical thinking? Good to know. Archie rushing off to get almond milk for his mom and Juggie teasing him about his tryst with a raven-haired princess was so funny, I Lol-ed. I love Juggie in his light-hearted moments, let the poor boy be happy, damn you!

Archie rushes off to Ronnie’s and Ronnie is immediately worried this is a booty call! LOL. She’s kinda read him correctly,(not in this instance though) but why then does she think he’s boyfriend material? Must be because her mind is constantly there too (Remember-  I’ve had every flavor of boy but orange?)

So they conspire to break in because Archie in his dimwitted way thinks he’s protecting Juggie, but Juggie can never know and neither can Betty. How were they hoping to cover it up? What if they had found something in FPs trailer to incriminate him? How could they hope to keep it secret from Juggie or Betty? Clearly they hadn’t thought that far ahead.

Polly cunningly gets Cheryl to show her her parents’ room on the pretext of borrowing some vintage bling and Cheryl seems happy enough doing it – she knows she’s breaking a rule and her parents won’t like it, but that seems to compel her even more. Polly blatantly searching the drawers with Cheryl looking on was so unbelievable! Also, Cheryl’s comment about her dad’s hair turning grey when he saw the ghost of Grandpa Blossom with his throat slit – does she mean her grandpa or her dad’s grandpa? And if she means Cliff’s grandpa, then wasn’t he the one that offed Hal’s Grandpa? Then who slit his throat?  

“We Blossoms live and die by our curls” – what is that supposed to mean? Truly these Blossoms are so cryptic! “Hands off, Gollum” – how does Madelaine utter her lines with a straight face?? I was laughing so hard!!

Now the mystery of Nana Rose’s ring – how did it get back to the Blossoms? Is Penelope’s story about Jason throwing it at Cliff the last time they saw him true? Again with the cryptic – Nothing is lost forever, everything comes back. WTF does this mean?

The dinner – ahh – in-laws bonding, Alice is in her element, being sweetly nasty and FP just reads through her. He’s more than equipped to deal with her but I wonder if Juggie knows about FP trashing the drive-in for Hiram Lodge. I’m guessing he doesn’t, and FP looked kinda trapped there, he was saved by the doorbell. That will be one of the secrets that comes out in the next episode I guess. Juggie and FP standing up when Betty walked in with Hal – so gentlemanly! Swoon!  FP was so amused when he heard Hal talk about Alice throwing a brick at his window. Perfect cue for him to start talking about the Homecoming years ago and when Alice and Hal were king and queen and the argument they had. It’s got to be about Alice being pregnant and Hal wanting her to go for an abortion. FP knows about Chic. And he knows about Alice’s penchant for keeping up appearances. His turn to manipulate her into silence now. I loved Juggie’s expression when FP said – Don’t jerk me around in front of my son. He looked a little taken aback  – that FP actually cared what Juggie thought of him and was looking to make a good impression on him. Betty and Juggie handled that awkward as heck dinner from hell with so much panache – is it any wonder they make such a good team?

Archie and Ronnie’s search of FPs trailer was so laughable – did Archie even look in the closet or did he just move on after preening in front of the mirror? And they made out in the trailer right after their clandestine operation – wtf Varchie? I think Archie kind of hit the nail on the head when he said – Do you want him to be guilty? Ronnie seemed to want to find some clue that connects her dad &/or FP to Jason and that seems to me to be really desperate because she started out sharing a real closeness to her dad. And then along the way there came revelations about his dealings – trashing the drive-in, ruining Ethel’s dad and not-so-subtly threatening her – that made her realize he was twisted and she probably does not want him in her life anymore.

“You’re a Blossom through and through” – Cliff’s turn now for the cryptic one-liner. And how well he knows how to manipulate Cheryl. Approval and acceptance are what she’s been craving from her parents and she never had that when Jason was around. But Cliff didn’t feel like that two episodes ago when he was pimping Archie to be by his daughter’s side because of her eccentric ways.  Saying those words when he did definitely means he does not believe them but wants Cheryl on their side. It’s clear Cheryl does not trust her parents though and full marks to her for not falling for their trap. She lied about the ring – but again, - her saying she flushed the ring to destroy proof, because that way if Polly said anything, it’d be her word against ours. How is the ring proof? There’s more to this than meets the eye and we will know in ep 12 of course.

During the dance she rushes back because she’s concerned for Polly. This indicates that Cheryl is going to change allegiances as the spoilers have forewarned.

The Homecoming – I will never forgive the writers for not giving us a Bughead dance!

He always is, Mr Jones! How cute is Betty vouching for her man? And Juggie gallantly holding out the umbrella for her? And Betty waiting at the steps for her man to escort her in? Aaahhh I’m dying of feels!

Also, FP how could you? How could you hang that Toledo bait for Juggie? You know he wants to be with family and he wants to be with Betty? So how could make him choose? That scene was so poignant with Juggie looking out the car and seeing Betty standing there and “Bette Davies eyes” playing! Siiiigh!!

Of course, it’s a no-brainer for him! He wants to stay with Betty. His mind is possibly already made up but he still wants to figure it out together! How adorable they are! And then that kiss and Betty’s concern – will you be alright for a minute? She knows her man’s lack of comfort in huge social gatherings and she doesn’t want to him to feel awkward. And his reassuring smile he says I think I’ll be fine – as long as she comes back to him, he’s going to be! All those casual, intimate touches, the hand placements, the little cheek kiss, his arm on her back, that look of concern for her when she realizes Varchie have been in cahoots with her mom – arrgghh! Just kill me now! This ship!

Betty cornering Varchie about their betrayal and Juggie walking in on them – why do I feel left out? Oh no – my poor boy, the past is coming back to bite him again now after he’s found a safe place with his friends – he discovers he’s been betrayed. “To think I was gonna pass moving to Toledo with my family for you” – and Betty’s face – broke my heart, and then her tears when she’s reaching for him and saying she didn’t wanna disappoint him – my heart shattered and then Juggie finding out FPs been arrested and rushing out (Fred, couldn’t you have shown a bit of compassion for the boy while breaking the news dammit? You were like his guardian!)

And then the most heart breaking scene of all when Juggie makes his way to FPs trailer and breaks down – I don’t think I will ever recover from this, my heart!

Alice likes Jughead, yet she didn’t have any qualms about hatching a plot to snare FP – you truly are heartless Alice! But I don’t care, Bughead will find a way out of this mess and they will get together because BETTY LOVES JUGHEAD! And considers him family – more than her own family! And she’s not gonna stop until she finds him and makes it okay! She’s hella determined, my girl and I have all the faith in her – she rarely gives up if ever, remember?

Varchie – you fucked up. Admit it, even though it may seem like a good thing you snooped before FP got arrested so now you know he’s being framed. That doesn’t make what you did okay. I’m okay with Juggie being pissed at them for a while. But not with Betty. He has to see that Betty had the best intentions and she clearly had no idea what Alice was upto behind her back. Who did call Keller though? And planted the gun? It would have to be someone who knew FP was going to be away at dinner and someone who knew they’d have a small window of opportunity after Varchie left and FP returned.

Do they know already that’s the gun that killed Jason? Do ballistics reports come back so quickly?

I’m not prepared to see Juggie cry again – it will break me. Who’s he calling? Why does he decide not to leave Riverdale? Cheryl, you bitch – don’t touch my son! Oh God I cannot take the waiting!