#jfc i am so stressed out right now

[captainchokchok]

.

[comphy-and-cozy]

oh I have a marty thot for sure! I’ve been thinking about riding his thigh while he sits back and just watches, kinda unimpressed at the show and telling you “you can do better than that, can’t you?”

Earn It

Pairing: Matt Martin x sugar baby!reader (f)

Universe: sugar daddy Marty

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: Smut (18+ ONLY). Sugar daddy/baby dynamic, lap dance, semi-public/risque sex, unprotected sex, hair pulling, choking, mild degradation, creampie, a little bit of cum play (lmao jfc).

Fridays are supposed to be celebratory; the end of the week, welcoming in a few days off to relax and reset. What they’re not supposed to be are stressful, non-stop, chaotic. 

Yet here you are, already thinking about the large glass of wine you’re going to pour yourself when you get home; the only decision you’re planning to make for the rest of the night is red or white. 

Setting your keys into the bowl on the table beside the door, you eye the pristine leather sneakers next to your shoe rack, but make no move to greet the person you already know is waiting on the couch. You knew you’d regret having the extra key made for him, that he’d show up unannounced like a poorly-timed pimple, but it’s not like you really could say no—not when you consider that he all but pays your rent. 

When you round the corner, bag left on the quartz countertop (an upgrade he insisted on when you were signing your new lease), you finally offer him your attention.

“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” he muses, glancing up from where he’s scrolling on his phone. You do your best to mask the shiver that runs down your spine when his eyes lock with yours. Based on the smirk that quirks up on his face, you’d wager a guess that you did a poor job of it.

“Hi, Matty,” you say. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“You need a new dress for the charity gala,” he drawls. 

“I do, do I?”

He ignores your attitude, standing up to walk over to the island and setting the invitation in front of you. You glance it over, admiring the thick, black cardstock and gold foil detailing the casino-themed event taking place at UBS Arena next month.

“Black tie attire,” you hum. “I don’t have anything that’s black-tie appropriate.”

“That’s why you need a new dress.”

“And that’s why you’re here right now, sitting on my couch after a day from hell, full of back-to-back meetings, am I correct?”

Matt smiles again. “Already have a bubble bath going for you, my little brat. I’ll be here tomorrow at 9 to pick you up.”

You feel a little guilty for the sass, smiling bashfully at him as he plants a sweet kiss on your cheekbone on his way to the door. “Lock up behind me, darlin’.”

Goddamn him. Always knowing exactly how to charm you to get you to bend to his every will—but not without giving him the kind of attitude that makes his dick hard. A fair tradeoff, in your opinion.

That’s why you work, why your dynamic makes your relationship feel so smooth and seamless and… perfect. Except the part where he’s paying you to fuck him.

Either way, it’s how you find yourself walking along Fifth Avenue, following Matt as he leads you into stores with price tags that intimidate you so much, your cheeks get hot. He lets you browse on your own, warming you up a bit, picking out a few items for work along with a new Yves Saint Laurent purse.

Purchase after purchase. Item after item. The ease with which Matt whipped out his thick, black credit card—you know, the heavy ones that just feel luxurious—almost physically pains you as you try to do the mental math of what he’d spent today.

Finally, you follow him to the dresswear section of Bergdorf Goodman’s, admiring the ease with which he carries the multiple bags in his large hands. You feel well and truly spoiled, thinking to yourself that the dark green lace set he purchased at Fleur du Mal will come in handy later when it comes time to show your gratitude.

“This dress,” he murmurs against your temple, pressing an affectionate kiss to your skin as the fitting room attendant readies a room for you. “I want everyone there to imagine fucking you out of it.”

At this point, you’re used to his blunt and sometimes crude nature, but that doesn’t stop your skin from heating at his crass words. You can’t deny the warmth that radiates between your legs, though, at the thought of him showing you off, claiming you as his, publicly. And, well, how are you supposed to say no to him buying you a dress that’s worth more than your groceries for the month?

The selection is enormous, and you find yourself overwhelmed by the options—lace, chiffon, silk, crepe—all of it doesn’t mean much to you, so you rely on your stylist to select a few options that complement your body type. Matt sits quietly in the corner of the fitting room, watching you try on dress after dress, making barely any comment other than an occasional hum.

When the stylist leaves you to contemplate your options, you glance over your reflection, at the Alex Perry gown that stares back at you. It’s the first dress that feels right, and you can’t help the feeling of excited anticipation that fills your chest when you think about wearing it beside Matt at the gala. Maybe he’d wear that delicious gray suit that you like, the one you almost stained permanently humping his thigh like a fucking dog in heat.

“Is this the one you want?”

You do a final spin in the mirror, checking the various angles and standing on your toes to imitate your height in heels. It’ll need to be altered a bit, but you’re pleased with the way it fits your body and, more importantly, the way it makes you feel luxurious. With your nod, Matt leans forward and glances at the price tag hanging out of the back. His eyes flick to yours in the mirror, and you stew in discomfort for the few seconds before he’s sitting back, apparently approving of the price.

A wide smile forms on your face, feeling a bit like a child on Christmas morning at your excitement. You like Matt for far more than his wallet, but you can’t deny that it feels nice to be spoiled by him, to feel lavished by his gifts and special treatment. 

“Think it’s time for you to say thank you, don’t you?” 

Matt’s low purr snaps you out of your thoughts, eyes focusing back on the navy silk material that’s hugging your body. The corset bodice keeps you tucked in, accentuating the curve of your breasts, fabric draped across your middle and fastened in place with a large, glittering piece. But the real attention-grabber is the slit on the left side that goes up to your hip, revealing almost your entire leg.

You cast a glance at him in the mirror, a flutter in your chest when you see the way his eyes rake in your reflection. He hums, and though he told you it was your decision, you’re pleased that he likes what he sees.

“Thank you, Matty,” you say, batting your eyelashes at him. You lean forward and press a kiss against his lips, warm and soft—the kind you could fall into with ease. He smiles, crooked and patronizing as he tsks.

“Oh, sweetheart, you know that isn’t good enough. Look at all these bags—all for you. I think I deserve more gratitude than that, hm?”

The hidden meaning of his velvet words are enough to make you shiver, your heart chilling as you realize what he wants. His eyes glitter as he watches you, sees the recognition on your face and the hitch in your throat. 

Your voice is hoarse as you whisper, “Here?”

Matt blinks, lazily, with a raised eyebrow, like he’s challenging to you to deny him. Of course you can’t, and he knows it. He leans back on the bench, his back resting against the wall and his legs spread comfortably. It’s a silent invitation, one you can’t refuse, and you find yourself moving to sit in his lap with a shaky gulp.

His hands weave their way to your hips, warm through the material of your jeans. “Good girl.”

With just the right amount of pressure, he encourages you to move your waist, swaying your hips as your ass brushes against his groin. He’s half hard, the bulge firm against you as you set a rhythm, listening for any other customers entering the dressing rooms nearby. The classy elevator music hums softly through the speakers while the silk covering your ass glides against his slacks in a filthy narrative.

A low hum of approval sounds from Matt’s chest, eyes glued to the way you work your hips. It isn’t long before you’re glancing behind you, meeting his eyes as he regards you with his easy, lazy gaze. Beneath the firm press of your ass, you can feel him hardening as the tick of your heartbeat increases in your throat. His signature smirk slides its way onto his face, smug, soaking in the fact that he’s got you wrapped around his finger, willing to do practically anything he asks you.

It isn’t long before he’s stiff, solid beneath you, and you feel an involuntary throb at the size of him. Every moment, you remain vigilant, ears perked for voices—or worse, the sound of someone’s gasp. It reflects in your movements, not lackluster but certainly not to your usual level of enthusiasm. There’s something about him when he’s like this—cocky confidence rolling off of him in waves, his gaze heating your skin—that drives you desperately, deliciously wild, a feral urge in you snatching control of your conscience.

But not right now. And he knows it.

He hums, displeased, and you have a split moment to register his disappointment before he’s purring, “Sweetheart, I think you can do better than that, can’t you?”

The velvet of his voice strokes the flame inside you, sending a wave of warmth between your thighs. Another throb against the stiffness under your ass. His hands remain at his sides, not offering any assistance. You can practically feel his lazy gaze on your ass, waiting patiently for you to react.

He senses your hesitation, knows the reason you’re timid—waiting for the fitting room attendant to come back at any minute and discover the lewd situation unfolding. So he changes his approach, voice honeyed and silky smooth. “Look at that gorgeous dress. Y’look fucking stunning in it, baby. But you gotta earn it, darlin’.”

You meet his gaze in the reflection of the mirror, see the glitter in them that tells you he’s serious, accepting the small nod he gives you. Bracing your hands on his meaty thighs, you resume your movements, pressing yourself into his groin with more force.

Matt’s words echo in your head as you work him—and yourself—into a frenzy. Earn it. He didn’t specify what his… end goal was, but from the glint in his eye you think it’s safe to assume it’s more than just a clothed lap dance in the middle of the dressing room. 

How you ended up half-naked, thong tugged to the side, hands bracing yourself against the wall of the fitting room, you’re not sure; all you really know is the feeling of Matt’s weight behind you, so tall his face is almost out of your view in the mirror’s reflection. He’s not looking at you, instead focused on tapping the head of his erection against your ass.

You bite your lip to stifle a whine, staring at him in the hopes he’ll offer you just a glance so you can beg him silently to please, put it in. Eventually, he does, sees the desperation pooling in your eyes and chuckles smugly, pleased at the rash desire he finds in them.

“Arch it for me, sweet girl.”

Obeying, you press your ass out toward him, thinking you’d break your back right here, right now, if it meant he’d provide you with some relief. His warm palm presses against your spine, encouraging you to go further, and he hums in approval at the view you present him: expensive dress bunched over the swell of your hips, ass out, pussy dripping, eyes wanton and pleading with him in the mirror.

“You want it?” he asks, his voice so low you strain to hear it.

You’re almost embarrassed at how fast you nod, not wanting to waste any time. He smirks again, and you know he’s biting back the urge to tease you, instead just offering, in all its simplicity: “Slut.”

There’s a brief moment where he allows his words to sink in, a flood of arousal seeping out of your bare, uncovered core, threatening to drip onto the faded wood flooring of the dressing room. You’re grateful that he didn’t make you beg—he usually does—but then he’s pressing into you without warning and a loud cry leaves your lips.

Your hand slaps over your mouth to muffle the sound, but he’s already gotten what he wants out of you, a more than obvious admission of the debauchery occurring just inside the fitting room. Instead, he focuses on the warm wetness enveloping his dick, watching the way your cunt sucks him in, greedy.

Despite his reckless attitude, he’s aware of the slap of his hips against your ass, and instead of jackhammering into you the way he wants to, he’s opted for hard, deep, slow thrusts; hard enough to have a soft, involuntary sigh every time he sheaths himself to the hilt inside of you. It’s the opposite of a quickie (even though that’s exactly what this is); instead, he’s diligent, indulging himself in the feeling of your tight walls throbbing around his length. 

All things considered, you’re pleased with the minimal amount of noises sounding from your stall; though your body shivers when you hear the low groan rumble in his chest. With a glance in the mirror, you can see the way he’s watching himself pull out of your cunt, biting his lip at the sight.

Matt offers a light slap of his tip against your lips before he’s jutting his hips forward, subtly, to rub his length against your clit. The sensation makes you shiver, the slickness of his shaft sliding against the tender button, and you feel the shockwaves coursing through you at the movement. 

With his free hand, he gathers your hair in his fist and yanks backward, arching your back until your head is resting against his chest. The sharp pain melds into pleasure, loving the way he knows exactly how to take control over your body to have you dizzy with lust. Hot breath fans over your ear, soft and subtle pants puffing air down your neck. “Fuck yourself on it, baby.”

His warm fingers press into your hips, urging you to move; you do, seeking out that delicious tingle when the fat tip of his cock brushes against your clit, running between your folds. You hear the pleased hum in your ear, quiet, and then the chuckle that follows when he slips into you, a loud gasp leaving your lips.

“Fuck, sweetheart,” he murmurs with a low groan. “So fucking wet for me, just the way I like it.”

Matt urges you to keep going, biting back another moan at the feeling of him being buried inside you. Your hips roll him in and out of you, and Matt’s hand trails over your ribcage, groping your breast on its way up to finally land at your throat, fingers curling around the base and squeezing. “Makin’ too much noise. Someone’s gonna hear you, and then I won’t get to flood this pretty little cunt with cum, will I?”

Swallowing the urge to whine with need, you shake your head, trying to tell him with your eyes how badly you want that. His lips press softly against the place where your shoulder meets your neck, keeping eye contact with you through the mirror while he angles his hips in search of the spot that’s going to have you dribbling down your legs. He knows he’s reached it by the way your mouth falls open, your brows scrunching in pleasure when the nudge of him against your g-spot has your eyes fluttering shut.

He hums again, and you know he’s pleased—both with himself for reading your body like his favorite book, and with you for being obediently quiet. The hand around your neck tightens while the forceful punch of Matt’s hips grows more intentional, aiming for precision rather than speed.

The smirk in the mirror, flashed in your direction is enough to make you shiver in his arms. “You think you can stay quiet while you come for me? Hmm?”

You’re trapped—can’t nod, can’t speak, barely hanging onto your last shred of control before you’re succumbing to the release that rips through you. Your legs shake, lungs scrambling for breath as the wave crashes over you, hands clutching the wall in search of purchase. Tears prick at the rims of your eyes, blurring your vision. 

Matty’s eyes glitter as he pulls out of you, grinning when he hears the slickness between your legs. 

“Love it when she purrs for me.”

It’s only when you feel hot liquid oozing out of you that you realize he met his climax, too, burying the evidence deep within your core. Your shaky legs clench together in an effort to prevent his cum from seeping down your legs and onto the floor.

Matt’s hands linger on your sides to make sure you’re steady before he’s tugging your panties back in place and swooping the dress back over your hips. He hums at the creamy drips on the inside of your thighs, swiping up to collect it on his finger. You don’t even have to be told to open your mouth, eyes fluttering shut when he presses the salty mixture onto your tongue. He hums when your lips close around the digit, sucking it clean before he releases it with a pop.

His eyes are still dark when he presses the call button on the wall with a crooked grin, and when the attendant knocks gently on the door, he says simply, “We’ll take the dress.”

[everlastiingiimmortals]

2.0 commentary below, re: that conversation between Ratio and Aventurine

I haven't actually seen anyone talking about it say explicitly what happened, so I thought I'd break that wall a little.

Ratio was notably racist (or at the very least xenophobic) towards Aventurine.

There's no denying or softening it at all. I don't think Ratio is a bad person, clearly he is not, but that does not absolve him of the awfulness of what he said. There's a lot of importance in the hostility Ratio displayed towards Aventurine towards that moment, and I am actually very thankful that hyv didn't cut corners with that interaction and put Ratio on the same level as Sparkle, who has far less morals than he does (and also called Aventurine a prostitute for power in the CN dub, jfc). But despite his harsh tongue and critical attitude, he doesn't... give an impression of having that sort of bias to him. What matters to him is intelligence, so why did he say the things he did?

With my take on Ratio I've established that he does view the IPC as much as a threat and with as much disdain as the Genius Society, both despite and because of his affiliation with the Intelligentsia Guild. He doesn't like working with any of the higher ups in the first place, and they're on a high stakes mission on Penacony right now. For all of Ratio's quick thinking and ability to improvise, he strikes me as someone who quite heavily relies on plans, and not being on schedule with a strict time limit puts him extremely on edge. It was made abundant the moment he opened his mouth: his first complaint was Aventurine's tardiness. He was late. Ratio was counting the seconds until Aventurine showed up, he was stressed.

So he already doesn't trust Aventurine just due to the nature of his affiliation, and he is upset because of the situation they're in, but there's also hostility directed at Aventurine personally. Whether Aventurine's personality and attitude is born from the nature of his people or because he's playing into the horrid reputation they have is unknown, but I'm inclined to believe the latter. Regardless, everyone displays some level of wariness towards him because of it and his occupation. I don't think Aventurine expected Ratio to dig up what he did (and likely more) about him, but I do think Ratio did it with the intent to weaponize his status, his past, his vulnerabilities against him because of his view of Aventurine as a threat.

(I'd also like to comment on part of his hostility towards Aventurine being due to protectiveness over the Trailblazer, because he very plainly snaps at Aventurine for attempting to rope the Nameless into the situation.)

But rather than what he said then, what's more striking to me is what happened after. Aventurine did not get hostile or lash out in turn, nor did he outwardly express any upset at Ratio's comments or lack of trust. Instead he offered a calm and personal correction, and that to me is what led Ratio to both regret his comment and adjust his perspective on Aventurine. It's evident in how his body language immediately shifted: from furrowed eyebrows, a combative tone, arms crossed and tucked close to his body, to a relaxed face and stance and much softer voice as he backpedaled. I like that because it shows that for all of Ratio's hostility, he really doesn't mean to harm anyone regardless of his opinion on them, and it's clear that he did. How does one weaponize a person's status as a (former?) slave against them so heartlessly and thoughtlessly? This exchange was a reminder that Aventurine is not just some threat but also human, and a reminder to himself that he is human too, and he is subject to prejudice (that he might not even be aware of) and clouded judgement that need to be corrected from time to time. I don't want to call his comment a slip-up, because it was definitely intentional, but I don't believe that it was done purely because of Aventurine's race unlike Sparkle's comment. And clearly, he regretted it. He overstepped. I like to think it was this moment that fostered some respect for Aventurine within Ratio, mostly because Aventurine's very gracious handling of his very ungracious fuck up.

I'm not trying to defend Ratio's comments with this, mind you, only try to get into his mindset and understand the perspective behind him saying what he said. This exchange does lead me to wonder, though, what led to the reputation of the Sigonians being as awful as it is for multiple characters to comment on it. Whatever it is, whether legitimate or (very likely) IPC propaganda, it was potent enough for the stigma to spread to even Ratio, enough for him to be willing to use it as an attack.

[alpinefrsh]

jfc I think I’m driving myself insane/pos. I genuinely cannot wait for the turtles to find out about Tommy’s absolutely f’ed up past life and just be like ‘oh what bullshit is this!? >:(‘

Also, I think I have an idea of how you’re going to do the ✨Trauma Reveal✨ and if I’m right I am SO excited!! (I’d be excited either way)

Another thing I’m really excited to potentially see (don’t know if you’ll touch on this exact thing) is how different their world’s morals are!

Rise being a kids show, means that most of the villains are pretty one dimensional and, unless they’re actually important, tend to never really be treated seriously or ever get treated like actual people (unless there’s a redemption arc planned, like Barry).

But with the SMP, because all of the characters are written by individual real people and are treated like people, all of the ‘villains’ are actually just really bad(or good) people with enough questionable motives to earn them the title of ‘Villain’. (Minus JSchlatt and Dream ofc. They’re genuinely just evil)

I can totally imagine Tommy getting stressed or upset about the turtles labeling these characters as ‘villains’, and somewhat frantically trying to explain to them how morally gray people can really get. Because for Tommy, all the villains he’s seen were people he actually knew and could’ve been good friends with. My point is, Rise’s version of a Villain is vastly different from the SMP’s version of a Villain and I find that incredibly interesting, just in case you couldn’t tell ;)

Analogy over, that was way too many words but i started typing and couldn’t stop. Hope the writing is going well! Can’t wait :D

Raahhhh so many people would be added to their 'to punt' list (if only they weren't a universe away, lmao).

I'm gonna be honest, my current plan for how they find out about his past is slightly batshit and entirely evil (in the sense that I will be very mean to Tommy). We draw closer to that fic every day and I'm very excited about that fact.

Yeah, that's deffo one of those things where if it comes up it comes up, but I don't have any particular plans for it. I like to think he'd enjoy hanging out with Hypno and Warren (bullying. He would enjoy bullying Warren), they're rather flamboyant in their crime, I imagine Tommy's theatre kid ass would appreciate that.

But yeah, If I remember correctly, c!Tommy's of the mindset that most people aren't really evil or bad per se, they just make really bad choices sometimes. Like c!Wilbur. I remember c!Tommy once had a chat with Foolish about his stance on the concept of forgiveness and what he thought about Wil's past and current behaviour.

Never worry about using too many words, I happen to be a big fan of those things. Not gonna complain about that, it was very enjoyable to read :D

It was fighting me for a while, but I've finally found an approach that I'm happy with, so things are thankfully starting to go much smoother now o7

[iheartchv]

Hey I was hoping I could get a cod matchup? Sorry in advance for the yapping

Umm as for appearance I am 5’4” in my early twenties. I have layered curly brown hair that comes to just above my shoulder, blue eyes, freckles pale as hell, a few scars here and there that I’m kinda proud of (from various causes) I don’t really have a specific style it can range from a tank top and sweats to t-shirt and jeans or something completely wild, color coded decked out in jewelry, skirts, layers the whole bit. Relatively active build, used to be a gymnast until an injury now I just workout twice a week w a friend. Interests; I like movies top five rn probably Scream (1996), Spiderverse, 10 things I hate about you, the last unicorn, Dead poets society, +Star Wars cause I can’t leave it out. I like playing chess every now and then, I’d say I’m pretty good but I still have a ways to go. I’m also an artist, and I like music I can’t do anything music related I just like listening to it, all kinds. I like baking when I’m stressed, typically cookies during finals week at 2 am. My future prospects, or at least what they are currently, is just going to law school, after that I’m not really sure, I’ve thought ab going the military route, both of my parents served/are serving, so I’ve thought ab the possibility of being a military JAG or something in Intel, but I’m still feeling for it, I mostly like law cause I’m pretty good at it and I like knowing more than people. I’m Bi so my taste in Men/Women varies. As much as I’d like to say I don’t have a type, hot people are hot, there have been patterns in the past few fictional guys. Tbh my taste in men is shit, like I don’t have daddy issues, I have a great relationship with him, but my past fictional crushes say other wise. But basically, capability is HOT, if they’re good at something to the point of mastering it I’m entranced. Women are just pretty, there’s not much there. I’m relatively paranoid, even describing myself like this online is strange, I think it’s just growing up around military but I’m typically just cautious. That and trust issues. I’ve done some martial arts/self defense and I think sparring is really fun I just need someone to teach me. Also I am a huge simp (with shit taste as my friends say) I’m an ambiavert, so I like to be pretty adaptable depending on who I’m around. I’m also German/American but definitely more American than anything else, I ‘grew up’ in south Germany and we still have family there but since we moved here I’ve forgotten most of  the language. JFC in hindsight I am SO SORRY about all this I got carried away. I hope it didn’t come across as self absorbed 😭😅 thanks 

Sorry again 

🤔 I'll pair you with...

Captain John Price 🚬

Price might be the one to fall for you

If you ever decide/decided to join the military, him and Laswell will look through files and find you

He can't help but feel that you would bring something to the table

Recruiting you, along with many others, he'd be watching you

Through the tests, he'd be silently hoping you'd pass

When he asks to see you, you think you've done something wrong

Instead he just tells you that you've done a good job with all the training and tests he's put you through

"I admit, I thought you would call it quits anytime soon... but... you're determination surprised me."

"You've got guts, spirit. I like that"

He wants to take you under his wing and train you

He was right about you; there was something special there

Though he didn't know just how special you would be to him later on 🤭

After many months and near death experiences later, he'd come to realize he cares about you... a lot

💞

When off duty, he will take you somewhere to talk

Price doesn't play games, you know that

So... he tells you that he really likes you

All this time he'd spent getting to know you, he felt something he hadn't in a long time

One time, when he looked like he was about to fall asleep he was surprised that you showed so much concern for him; You wanted to do something, anything, for him

His hand gently held yours, showing how gentle he can be

"If you'll have me, love, I can make you happy... even if it takes my whole life to"

[mlobsters]

supernatural s14e20 moriah (w. andrew dabb)

dads fighting over killing their kid, sammy stressed. what a world

(jfc when jdm/john is talking in the recap i'm like godDAMN whose voice is he reminding of - oh right, i talked about this already when watching that very episode -_- good voice 10/10 both actors)

i wonder how far back it goes that they showed people getting their heads chopped off to the line "Lay your weary head to rest" in carry on my wayward song because i remember this song used to hit me in the feelings way back when (mentioned it still working for me in 6x22 at least.) anyway, i am also very literal with song lyrics and my little fanvids so i can't really criticize but tone 🤌

CASTIEL You should never have tried to lock him away. DEAN You know what? You're right. I never wanted to put him in that damn box. I wanted him dead. CASTIEL Dean. DEAN He's dangerous, Cas, and you knew it! You've known it for a long time! But that's okay. You know why? Because me and Sam, we've killed just about everything there is. And this -- Jack -- oh, we'll find a way. Because he's just another monster. CASTIEL You don't mean that. DEAN The hell I don't.

sigh, this is frustrating! but we gotta have conflict somewhere right, so dean's taking out is hurt and grief over mary on jack, making choices that are making jack worse. and now hellbent on killing him without taking any time to try to work the problem in another way

DEAN I don't know. Maybe we call Rowena, see if she can put together one of those, um, "soul bombs." SAM The...thing you were gonna use against the Darkness? DEAN Yeah, might actually put a dent in the kid. SAM Okay. (quietly) DEAN Sam, I know this isn't easy, okay? He -- I know how much he meant to you. He meant a lot to me. He was family. But this? This is not Jack anymore. He's hurting, he's killing people. This isn't gonna be easy, but we're gonna have to do the hard thing. We're gonna have to do the ugly thing. Ain't like it's the first time, though, right?

was he raring to kills cas when he killed all those people and angels when fake god juiced up on souls?

apparently yes! clearly forgot about that

wiki summary excerpt from 7x01 The ritual is successful, and Death appears, bound. He thinks that he has been summoned regarding Sam's hallucinations, and Dean looks to Sam, surprised by the news. Death asserts that he can't help Sam (there's only "one wall per customer"), and Dean tells him instead that they want him to kill Castiel. Before they can convince him, though, Castiel appears. He threatens to kill them all, but Dean reminds him that Death is under their control. It appears that they are at a stalemate.

ok, so is this truth spell business from jack everywhere? fic premise-y. and mirror universe for the company name, okay.

SAM You. Come on, man. You're always calling me a geek, but you know every word to every Led Zeppelin song -- backwards and forwards -- you can discuss in detail every major rock drummer between '67 and '84, and... you watch "Jeopardy!" every night.

not to mention nerding out over horror films, cars, etc etc. we are all but nerds in our own special ways

like, we're really going for truth spell gags here? what'd i say about tone? lol

well. stapler queen is cute

pretty place to film and nice shot. didn't expect chuck but knew he had to come around eventually. i do really enjoy rob benedict though. he's so good at being that chill aw shucks persona that chuck usually is. like hey what a nice smile, good to see him! wait, he's the absent-est of fathers and lets the world nearly implode on a regular basis

DEAN Yeah, guess your life isn't so perfect after all, EightPackMommy. SAM What? DEAN Yeah, she's got this blog. Yeah, you know what? Your kids aren't that cute. And that gluten-free popover looks like crap because there's no gluten in it. You know what I mean? I'll stop talking. SAM Probably a good plan.

hope we get better truth spell anecdotes than dean follows a mommy blogger (nope.) also are we really supposed to just take on this info that sam's favorite singer is actually celine dion? :p

cathartic until god yells at you

CHUCK Okay, look. I get it. All right, I'm from the deus from the machina, and you have questions.

all very twee

CHUCK: Listen, you guys know me. I'm hands-off. I built the sandbox -- you play in it. You want to fight Leviathans? Cool. You got that. You want to go up against -- what was it? -- the "British Men of Letters"? Okay. Little weak, but okay. But when things get really bad, like the Apocalypse or the Other Apocalypse, that's when I have to step in.

i will always appreciate a roast of the bmol plotline

SAM So you're saying Jack is Apocalyptic? CHUCK The kid said, "Stop lying," and I don't know if you noticed, but the world kinda went insane.

the whole crazy powered up nephilim actually equates to god powers, sure

lol what. the colt 2.0 but actually kills anything

CHUCK So, this doesn't so much fire bullets as it sends a wave of multi-dimensional energy across a perfectly balanced quantum link between whoever's shooting it and whoever they're shooting at.

this is giving very crack treated seriously (or just plain crack) vibes

CHUCK Uh, whatever happens to the person you're aiming at also happens to you. So you kill him... DEAN You die.

🙄okay.

CAS I don't understand why we're talking about killing Jack. Y-You can fix him. You can --You can restore his soul. That's why I called you. CHUCK Yeah, not so much. SAM You're God. CHUCK Well, souls are complicated -- even for me. Besides, even if I could, would you really want -- I mean, after what he did? CASTIEL Then we bind him. We throw him in the Cage until -- DEAN Stop, Cas. You heard him. This is the only way. CAS And Billie said the only way to defeat Michael was to lock you in a box. CHUCK Ugh. Billie. I liked the old Death better. He was all about fried pickles and tickle porn. This new Death -- she's always sticking her scythe where it doesn't belong. CAS There has to be another way. DEAN Well, there's not. Now, I know you don't like it, and I don't really care. 'Cause you just heard it from God Himself that this is the only thing that can kill Jack, so either get on board, or walk away.

i think part of why i'm finally warming up to cas is him consistently caring about someone - like, willing to go to the mat with anyone for jack. and there's less of this bumbling clueless angel schtick periodically thrown in.

and something again i don't like is when anyone does this shut up there's no other way it's my way or the highway business. i feel like i talked about this before... maybe with the soul bomb business? and probably the box too? rushing into deadly action that can't be walked back with almost no information. which i compared to agonizing over how to deal with lucifer all season in s5 and finally accepting sam going into the cage was the only viable option left. there's just so many plot beats and so much going on at one time. and then dean rushes into shit and i'm just like STOP BREATHE WAIT.

hopefully not plot relevant flask filling, unlike last time we saw him do it (that i recall) in 7x18

music (lennertz and wynn) at the beginning reminds me a bit of hannibal bloodfest again, the muted version that was in 14x08 when jack had died from the heavenly tuberculosis

glad sam is standing up to dean's willingness to again sacrifice himself at the drop of a hat and point out they haven't even tried to fix anything, just rushing into these awful solutions. and pointing out that they got themselves into this situation in the first place by bringing jack back. (and hey, maybe consider chuck's motivations in all this)

not a great hug but way less creepy than hugging soulless sam at least. glad he didn't actually kill his grandmother and has calmed down a bit and acknowledged he's not feeling anything anymore

CHUCK No. Sam... you and your brother, of all the Sams and Deans in all the multiverse, you're my favorite. You're just so interesting. I mean, like that thing that happened at the office earlier today -- that was crazy, right? SAM Do you watch us? When you're not here, are -- are you... watching us? CHUCK Yeah. I mean, you're my favorite show.

creeper asshole. what new way can we make them suffer today

SAM Wait a second. Why, when the chips are down, when the world is -- is failing, why does it always have to be on us?! CHUCK Because you're my guys.

good to see sam yelling at chuck about it.

sigh

like this really is soul bomb 2.0 (i was not a fan). some half cocked plan with new random made up weapon that gets introduced mid episode in the season finale that will result in dean dying to kill some almost-impossible to kill god type entity. not making me cry this time, bitches

padalecki got to phoebe-run through the park yelling for dean for an extended period of time, that was something

CHUCK This isn't how the story is supposed to end. CAS The story? CHUCK Lookit, the -- the -- the gathering storm, the gun, the -- the father killing his own son. This is Abraham and Isaac. This is epic! DEAN Wait. What are you saying? SAM He's saying he's been playing us. This whole time. CHUCK Come on. SAM Our entire lives. Mom, Dad -- everything. This is all you because you wrote it all, right? Because -- Because what? Because we're your favorite show? Because we're part of your story? CHUCK Okay, Dean, no offense, but your brother is stupid and crazy. And that kid is still dangerous. So pick up the gun. Pick it up... pull the trigger... and I'll bring her back. Your mom. DEAN No. My mom was my hero. And I miss her, and I will miss her every second of my life, but she would not want this. And it's not like you even really care. 'Cause Sam's right. The Apocalypse, the first go-around, with Lucifer and Michael -- you knew everything that was going on, so why the games, Chuck, huh? Why don't You just snap your fingers and end it?! CHUCK Look, I -- SAM And every other bad thing we've been killing, been dying over -- where were you? Just sitting back and watching us suffer so we can do this over and over and over again -- fighting, losing people we love? When does it end? Tell me. CHUCK Dean, don't do this. DEAN No, we're done talking. 'Cause this -- this isn't just a story. It's our lives! So God or no God, you go to hell.

it feels kind of bonkers that they're just now getting clued into the conceit that all the suffering and misery and death they've been through has been at chuck's direction

surely the god-killing gun doesn't actually work on chuck. there's been a couple weird cuts for ads in the past season or two - where they repeat some action/dialogue after a cut for an ad. which is so weird, they never did that before.

looks like the bandana dean was using for sam's woulda-been-fatal head wound few episodes ago

spn 14x17

so jack's in the empty... and billie is there. okaayyy

resurrecting all the monsters they killed or whatever this is, sure. an extremely long shot of shambling zombies. did they need to kill time (i thought the cut to billie was the end of the episode and almost just skipped the last several minutes 🥴)

one season left to go. makes me think about how jared and jensen periodically talk about reviving the show but like. The Show was so out of ideas and things just got more and more convoluted and outlandish, what is there even left to do? other than some timeline reset but when they're older. or like apparently the winchesters, whole new au.

and despite how critical i am of the show, i'm still invested and care about sam and dean. so i'd watch whatever sam and dean show they might make. but i'm still gonna be critical :p i have avoided reading other people's opinions on any of the show i haven't seen so whatever criticism i'm spewing out is just my reaction as i watch

[polyamorouspunk]

I have so much going on right now (/neg) so I was wondering if you would share anything you do whenever you're stressed/sad to cheer up :')

Escapism is my usual route. However, if there’s something that needs doing that I’m putting off I will do OTHER things that need doing instead. Can’t do math homework, say, if I’m busy putting away my laundry and doing the dishes and sweeping the floor, etc. Like if you’re going to avoid doing what needs to be done you at least need to do something else that needs to be done in its place. Aka NOT escapism. I also stress eat. I’m probably gaining weight this month into next month because my chocolate intake has probably tripled because I just eat chocolate while I’m doing my math homework. I reward myself with things to do AFTER my math homework for the day is done (like sleeping, or coloring, or watching YouTube, aka escapism), but if I choose NOT to do math homework, I need to do something productive instead (chores). I break up my math homework into sections. Yesterday I finished at like 1:30 I think, it’s 2:20 now and I am still not done but I need to finish, so like I’m not doing anything like making lunch or relaxing until it’s done, but obviously since I’m answering this ask I am taking a break. I can have escapism after I finish my math and I will not make myself do chores today since math homework = chores. I am going to do laundry just because I have today off anyway but if I had work after like I will tomorrow I wouldn’t be.

Basically, when I am stressed from An Event (aka not a class I’m taking for multiple months and therefore can plan) I sleep if it’s really bad.

If it’s not that bad (like perhaps one day of math) I might stress eat.

If I don’t have chores (like math) and I am sad/stressed I will use escapism (watching tv, listening to a podcast and coloring, video games, etc.)

When I am in a depressive slump I WILL try and force myself to shower/get dressed/go outside. If it is 75 and sunny and I am like uwu I woke up sad then I am getting dressed and forcing my ass to go outside and photosynthesis.

If I am in a depressive slump but I showered yesterday and I don’t need to shower again today and it’s 45 out I will allow myself a sad cozy depressed day in bed.

If I am in a depressive slump and it’s 45 out but it’s been 4 days since I’ve showered and I have to go to work I am forcing myself to shower and get dressed as soon as I get up.

Tomorrow I’ll probably take my test, shower and get dressed right after since it’ll have been 3 days at that point, and then allow myself escapism before I have to go to work.

Yesterday it was 70 so I did math and then got dressed and had outside escapism.

Today it is not 70 so I will be finishing this math and not getting dressed and doing inside escapism. Which at this point may involve taking a nap because the stress is more than it has been in a while. First though I will be eating lunch and chocolate. Because oh my god. Jfc.

[laurabenanti]

hi friendly people (more than likely just the mutuals 🍑)~

my migraines are still pretty consistent and non-stop; they mostly just get a little less intense randomly for an hour or so without consistency. it's, unfortunately, noticeably worse any time i get onto tumblr (desktop or mobile). i can kind of only narrow this down to gifs, but honestly i'm not 100% what's going on. since they tend to be optical as well, becoming essentially blind in one (or one and a half) of my eyes is kind of scary. throw in that now they've made me incredibly nauseous, i have to actually do something about it. and since i have zero intentions of blocking gifs or stopping the creation of my own, i'm just going to extend my little hiatus. idk if i'll be gone only for a week from here, as it will kind of depend on when i can find an actual resolution to this issue, but i will be back before the 12th. i'm hoping that, by staggering out when i do things in photoshop (it's one of few hobbies i am finding myself really happy with nowadays / stress relieving / giving me joy) jfc i can hardly even english right at this point and not checking my dash at all, these migraines get a minute to chill and reset. we'll see if my body agrees.

anyway, see you soon ❤︎

[roughentumble]

me: hello oracle deck i havent used in a billion years. why am i so tired recently

oracle: jfc stop stressing yourself out, your life is So Good right now. youre exhausting yourself for No Raisin. take a pilates class and look inside yourself and Chill. eat some candy and indulge in how sweet your setup is

[wikiangela]

911 lone star 4x05

it seems that the season is finally picking up, and this is my fave episode so far 😂

more thoughts and spoilers ahead!

jfc Rob Lowe is so good in comedic roles fr, I think that's why I enjoy Owen now, because he gets funny stuff 😂 that scene was so funny 😂

the boy calling about the math problem was so adorable, and Grace's reaction was even more adorable, she's so fucking cute I can't 😩😍😍 that smile with a nose scrunch??? 😍😍😍😍

"not a math whiz, just a math fan" SAME I love math, I miss it, why did I go study English at uni lmao

we should see more of the 911 dispatchers, like we do in the og - like, I'd love to at least learn like 3 names of something 🙄😂

ngl, I have no memory of this paramedic they're talking about 😂 (also, the music in this scene is kinda loud isn't it? like the drums or whatever? idk, it makes my head hurt lol)

waaait, I knew it was a more Marjan focused episode from the promo, but... someone complained about her to HR???? what the fuck about, she's a delight 😂

oh my god the lady from the mobile home?? over the word "crazy" when Marjan saved her life?? seriously?

we're focusing a lot on Linus, huh - I bet something bad is about to happen (clearly something's wrong with the mom, and I'm anxious waiting to see what haha)

jfc it was one stupid word, that people used to throw around at anything and anyone, jfc I don't wanna be one of those "why are people these days so sensitive" bitches but... she saved you life lady, leave her alone

I love seeing more Marjan but I feel so bad for her

I almost forgot about this dude since the beginning tbh, I'm enjoying this episode a lot haha - no idea what his deal is but it's stressing me out

I am loving getting more of the dispatch - if this is how this season continues, I might change my opinion about it (which is that this season is kinda whatever so far, but maybe just the first four episodes were bc this is good)

I kinda like Marjan and Owen's dynamic, this is fun (pls give me more Owen and TK tho, I miss them, and I'm always a sucker for a father son relationship 😂)

this couple is so ridiculous, jfc, Owen's right, how is that guy not in jail 😂 and they want her to post an apology for calling her "crazy"? and tag their gofundme? lady, you are fucking crazy 😂😂

they're blaming the fire department, aka people who rescued her life, for destroying their home??? that dude fucking took it - oh my god they're insane and it's infuriating but also kinda funny 😂

I love Grace and Judd and I missed them, we barely saw them the last couple of episodes haha (and Charlie is the most adorable baby 😍😍)

thank God for Grace and her instincts about what's happening, and that Judd nudged her to go over there right away

also, Tommy is amazing and I love her and her friendship with Grace

Paul "notices things" - I completely forgot about that because it hasn't been referenced since like s1 - pls give him an actual storyline that includes all aspects of him, including this superpower of his 😂

Paul and Marjan are one of my fave friendships, they're really ride or die's, I just love them (also, I just love the way Paul speaks if that makes sense? I'm weird about voices and cadence and pronunciation idk 😂)

sooo, Asha's sticking around, right? 😂 they wouldn't have her know Paul from way back when if they weren't starting something here right? 😂 I'm not complaining, pls give Paul a storyline, and if it's finally a good love interest, even better haha

I'm sorry, but making such a big deal over the word "crazy" is literally so ridiculous I can't help but laugh

nooo, don't tell me she's really leaving

I'm crying

not Nancy and Mateo being the parent friends 😭😂

like, she's not gone forever is she? I'm sure she'll be back eventually... right?

okay, promo: I am so excited for this bomber storyline, it seems more interesting than the first 4 episodes of the season (like, I loved the Carlos episode - 4x04 but like... eh)

so, I loved this episode, please tell me this is when the season picks up finally, I was finally engaged from the beginning until the end, and enjoyed all of it

I did miss Carlos, and he's my fave character, but also, like I mentioned a lot already, the tarlos storyline so far with Iris etc was so fucking boring and it took a lot of time in those first episodes (and it's crazy I'm even saying that because I always say to give Carlos all the screen time 😂) so it was nice to kinda have a break from them haha and I'm so glad we're over the whole FBI thing

now, I adore Grace and I loved her storyline this eps, it was great and interesting

I feel like Asha's gonna stick around and I'm excited if they're gonna do anything with her and Paul (or just fucking give Paul some more screen time ffs)

I loved that we got more of other dispatchers aside from Grace and please keep it up, I wanna know them like we know Josh and Sue and Linda, for them to be around you know? 😂

and Marjan.... I don't believe she left for good, and I don't wanna believe that, and I get her reasoning, because fuck those people, but also.... this was just so ridiculous, do people really get that offended over the word crazy? I know it's offensive or whatever but since when it's a slur? 😂

anyway, it was a great episode for Marjan, loved seeing her more and her struggle with this whole situation, and her and Owen actually have a great dynamic, wish we'd seen more of that (if they didn't give 90% of screen time to Owen alone 🙄 I like him but sometimes it's like.... there are people who are more interesting that I wanna find out about lol)

genuinely can't wait for the next one, and it's the first time this season I'm actually looking forward to the next episode, I hope it's gonna only get better now haha

[s0urt33th]

ooo work rants

I'm rewriting the office manual for fun bc Im bored and wasn't taught what I should be doing. (no I don't have permission to re-write it)

Things I hate about the handbook- it's long tho so it goes in text jail.

Listed in the responsibilities section, "Bring a positive attitude to work" shouldn't be the first thing listed. Especially when she ignores all the negative things that happen.

If you're so much as 5 min late you gotta tell EVERYONE you're 5 minutes late, even if you think you're going to be late you have to text the entire group chat you're going to be 5+ minutes late.

"Growth Mindset" and "Stereotype Threat" are both before actual procedures and take up more pages than the procedures. Instead of- idk- telling me what I should be doing and how. If someone rings the office phone I have 0 clue how to answer and how to transfer calls

the way the stereotype threat section is set up basically says to ignore aspects of yourself and others that're apart of minority groups to avoid stereotyping yourself.

Stressing out? Just think about Obama! If he became president, anyone can do anything. Thanks Obama :)

Oh- still stressing? Change your mindset! You're just thinking wrong.

you're STILL stressing? Push it off for another time and get what you need to get done right now. Then you won't choke under pressure.

Our commitment to a positive workplace climate: We will "demonstrate a commitment to diversity and multiculturalism" and to "take care of our well-being and exhibit team wellness" ah yes, I will demonstrate multiculturalism. Also- I told this person about sexual harrassment i'm facing outside of work and that i am struggling and the response was, "hmm thanks for sharing... anyways."

This is a quote: "If you work with more than one student, encourage your students to study together outside of your mentoring sessions.... Asian students, who studied in groups, formal and informal, and made little distinction between their academic and social lives, did better than White and African-American students." First and foremost- UNHEALTHY. I am Asian. I don't have distinctions. It's very very unhealthy t b h. Study groups and social times are both important but jfc. ALSO MODEL MINORITY MYTH WHO?! JFC

^^^^^^^^ This is the person that told me that I would be the first guy that they have hired because they have, "People of all different backgrounds." (I'm trans. HUH. Actually I wonder why the only man they have in the office is me- who ngl is v v feminine.) Then tells me after our first team-building day that they "Just so happen" to have only really hired Asians for their interns(the others don't work directly under this person or are in charge of specific programs). Anyways myself and my one other coworker are both asian and we're both her interns who basically act as assistants.

back to the "choking" from stress- the list includes(and I quote), "Think differently. Think about yourself in ways that highlight your aptitude for success. Instead of focusing on how your group might be negatively stereotypes, think of the tools you have to excel- you have done well in school in the past or you have a supporting network or peers and mentors" Okay I didn't actually read the negatively stereotypes part. djldfkjgflkgjdflkgjdflkgjfdlk what the fuck???

"Educate the worries. Reminding students that stereotypes are just stereotypes and nothing more can help prevent people from worrying about their ability when the pressure is on."

"Reinterpret your reactions. When under pressure, learn to interpret your bodily reactions in a positive way ("I am amped up for the test") rather than negative ("I am freaking out")." ah yes I will just say that my anxiety and panic attacks are actually just fun little excitement sparks of j o y.

The stereotype threat(Steele & Aronson, 1995) section. Instead of educating yourself about the students you work with, if they're a minority- just ignore that fact! Otherwise you'll make them fail. Set high standards and show them that you have also struggled in school- so that they can relate to you.

This was all in the first 5 pages of this handbook bro. What the fuck.

[zombabiee]

I can’t keep thinking that I am untouchable if I keep fucking up I’ll just keep causing problems for myself. I cannot handle everything at once. I should of blocked his number to make him think there wasn’t another chance. I was bored and wished keith would say things like him. But I’m just as dumb and just as naive because all I like is attention. He’s in a gang who’s trying to be better, I respect that but I don’t want nothing to do with him. The attention I got doesn’t mean shit if it’s not from keith. No one will compare to him I know how I sound but thats just how I feel rn.

I’m focusing to hard on the wrong things school is getting stressful I can’t fuck up I need to start taking this shit more serious. money is at stake here I can’t fuck up I have to keep trying I can’t keep ignoring and hope that things will work out for me. I fucked up last semester I can’t fuck up this semester I need to try harder I can’t be fucked.

I’m treating Amy like shit rn, I won’t help her with college I won’t help her with her prom dress and I’m not with her. I’m neglecting her just as much as I’m neglecting everything else

I’m doing so many things wrong

Chloe feels differently about me resentment jealousy it’s new it’s different. if I loose more weight look the way I want to look act the way I want to act have everything fall into it’s right place I would feel guilty if she still hands those feelings towards me. Because I have no idea how to comfort someone who wants to look like you. Why am I so bad at saying the right things. Then I want to get upset at keith that he isn’t better? I’m just as bad and shouldn’t hold that double standard. I feel like I’m such a shitty friend to her now. What is wrong with me. I’m sure she’ll be happy that I am getting better but I hold resentment towards myself the expectations I have for myself are so high nothing I feel or do will ever feel enough.

I know her feelings will quietly linger because I’m just the same. Maybe we’ll explode soon.

I feel like a huge fight is approaching between us. It will sent me down a spiral and I know will for her too. I am so scared of things going wrong. I am so weak.

I no longer feel valid I feel like im just narcissist now who craves attention. A really insecure narcissist.

I feel different now, the change has or is happening right now. I want to go back all I do is cry now and feel so sorry for myself.

Truthfully I feel like I have nothing else to offer besides the way I look.

All I do is mope in my sadness and expect to be comforted like I am some puppy

In reality all my sadness stems from my mistakes, guilt, shame, and insecurities. I am a selfish person who thinks nothing can touch her. I don’t think I ever experienced no real consequence. I don’t think I have ever experienced a heavy loss besides what happen to me in late November. (a problem I asked for)

yeah things will work out in its own way but am I changing in the wrong way? am I changing for the better? why can’t it be the same as it was before with the both of them? Am I becoming a shitty person? Why can’t I be better? Why can’t I handle anything? Am I doomed?

jfc I’m so fucking dramatic I just wanna die

January was the closest I ever felt to being suicidal, I loved going to the beach everyday and wish i was there again in those moments.

[liberty-belle-a]

// My Rambling Thoughts on Episode 3x05

I am gonna preface ths with I’m watching it at my mom’s house...so I am very excited for her to wander in. Because her comments when I watch TV are just...top tier.

Well that’s horrific.

FUCKING FAERIES AND DANCING DILDOS!!! There’s a phrase I need to encorporate into my every day life. 

Homelander is so crazy. I love everything about this descent into madness and I need to figure out how Maddie is coping with it. 

WHY IS THE DEEP IN CHARGE OF ANYTHING??? Cassandra is fantastic. Her Lady Macbeth-ing is top notch.

MAEVE! She looks so pretty...

Maeve bringing up Ryan tho...makes me wonder if there’d be a half second where she considered bringing Maddie into all this. Seeing if she had to potential to defeat Homelander. But then Maddie’s a much more complicated case. As she actually was raised by Homelander and has an attachment to him that Ryan does not.

Shut up, Billy. Stop making Maeve sad.

WAIT. WHAT. NO. STOP THIS. NO KISSING. NO KISSING. MADDIE DOES NOT LIKE THE WAY THIS IS GOING LOL.

Well shit. Now I need threads with a Butcher. Cause AWKWARD.

OH SHIT.

I am very worried about Todd and his getting sucked into the cult of Homelander.

I too would stress eat Almond Joys with the analytics lady. Tho over here we tend to stress eat turtles.

JFC. Blue Hawk. I need someone to curb stomp him. A LOT.

OH SHIT. OH SHIT. I AM VERY WORRIED ABOUT THINGS RIGHT NOW.

I do love that Maeve is one of the few people who call him John.

Okay. I love everything about this scene and it fits perfectly with the whole Maddie narrative. Cause Maeve admitting that every ounce of affection she showed him was out of love for the child they created. Not him.

WAIT. WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. MADDIE DOES NOT APPROVE.

Oh, Hughie....

YEAH. NO. I LIKE NOTHING ABOUT THIS.

I am also kind of concerned about Ashley. I’ve been saying girl is headed for a psychotic break.

I AM LIVING FOR THIS MUSICAL NUMBER.

OH NO. Is she gonna think her left her? Noooooo.

Oh, Hey, Seth Rogan.

Oh, it’s Butcher. I thought it was Soldier Boy.

HOW DID SHE KNOW????

Butcher!

WELL DAMN JENSEN LOOKS GOOD IN THE SUIT.

Butcher’s so proud of himself for the team up line.

The parallels between Homelander and Maeve and Soldier Boy and the Countess...

WHAT ABOUT THE CHIMPS??? ARE THEY SAFE????

I NEED MORE. I NEED MORE NOW.

[levi-my-beloved]

Birds of a Feather

Chapter 5

Pairings: Canon!Levi x F!Reader

Content Warnings: Violence, open wound (minor), smut, oral (m and f receiving), thigh riding, fingering, unprotected sex, masturbation (m), virgin!Levi, virgin!reader, mutual virginity loss, tooth rotting fluff, gets a little angtsy towards the end.

Word Count: 13.2K

Summary: You were the most notorious criminal in The Underground City. With your organisation of highly skilled professionals, only one man could take you down. He also happened to be Humanity’s Strongest... and your ex.

Previous Chapter

First Chapter

Series Masterlist

A/N: oh my god picking out those words and selecting them individually to bolden them cuz tumblr doesn’t know how to copy and paste correctly was TEDIOUS. it gives the effect i wanted but jfc tumblr learn how to copy and paste bold and italics jeez. this was definitely the most fun chapter, as you shall see. this was supposed to contain more than just smut but i got super carried away and it would have been like, 22K if i paired it with the next one, so the next chapter will take a little longer, but i’ll make a post about that separately after this one. hope you all enjoy!

18+ MINORS DNI

𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔

“Levi?! You fucking idiot, you could have died!” it was the last thing you’d expected to come back to after a few days away. After spending some time with the strange man who took you in three years ago, Viper, he called himself, you were excited to come back to the small house you had with your best, and possibly only, friend outside The Nest.

What you weren’t expecting was to find him, propped up against the small wooden table in the centre of the room, shirtless, slowly bleeding out through his shoulder. You didn’t know where the other two were, and in fact, that was your first question.

“Where the hell are Isobel and Farlan, and why the fuck haven’t they sorted you out?” you stormed across the room, setting your bag down on one of the kitchen chairs before assessing his injury.

“First of all… I didn’t die. Second of all… shit… they’re out buying ODM parts after Isa’s shitty landing the other day, and th-fuck-thirdly, this only happened today. They’d just left when I got back,” Levi grit his teeth as you gently prodded the wound. Shit this fucking hurt. It was a stab wound from a shitty bartender in a shitty part of town who decided he didn’t like Levi’s shitty attitude. Honestly, looking back…

He couldn’t blame him.

You sighed, running a hand through your hair.

“You’re a fucking idiot,”

“You’ve said that already,”

“This isn’t funny, Levi,” you huffed, turning to rifle through the bag you’d haphazardly dumped on the chair. You’d never been so thankful for Viper’s weird yet wonderful survival lessons. Over the last three days, he’d taught you basic medical training. You had no idea how the fuck he knew how to apply a tourniquet or sew wounds, but you never questioned the man. He reminded you of your father in some ways.

Just a little more violent.

“Stay still, it needs to be cleaned,” you brought out a small bottle of whiskey, a gift from one of Viper’s associates. His “Shadows”, or something.

Levi narrowed his eyes as you began taking out various pieces of equipment, and couldn’t help but raise his eyebrows at the expensive looking bottle.

“Where the fuck did you get these things, (Y/N)?” he breathed, glancing between the medical supplies and your face. Levi hated how he didn’t know what you did. He didn’t know where you went for days, and it worried him when you didn’t return when you said you would. He was always worried about you. Instantly missing the warmth of your smile as soon as you left.

“That’s not important right now. I need you to hold still, this is going to hurt,” his face heated slightly as you searched him, that apologetic guilt in your expression made him want to hold you and tell you everything was okay.

But he wouldn’t.

Because you two were friends.

And had been for years.

Despite his budding feelings, he would never cross that line with you.

Unless you wanted to, of course…

“It’s fine. Do what you gotta do,” he responded flatly, choosing instead to find the wooden skirting board incredibly interesting to look at. Much more interesting than your face.

He couldn’t stop the pained hiss that escaped his mouth as the piercing sting of alcohol in a fresh wound clouded his mind for a moment, fist clenching as his eyes screwed shut.

“I’msorryI’msorryI’msorry,” you muttered under your breath, hating every second of pain you were putting him through. But you had to clean the wound, and you had nothing else to use. You silently thanked the man called Wolf for the burning liquor, not expecting to use it in quite a way. Screwing the lid back on the amber bottle, you set it to one side, gently dabbing the torn flesh with a cotton bud.

“Levi, this is going to need stitches. Shit, what were you stabbed with, a fucking sword?” This was one of the things he loved most about you. No matter how dire or stressful the situation, you could always crack a joke, even whilst keeping a straight face.

“Kitchen knife. Pretty standard for the tavern–”

“THAT MOTHERFUCKER AGAIN?” yeah, this wasn’t the first time Levi had been met with problems from that place.

“Yeah, him. Got me good this time,” Levi almost laughed at your look of subdued rage. He knew how much you hated that owner. But that amusement was quelled when your rage was replaced with something he couldn’t quite decipher.

He let the silence drag on as you retrieved a small needle and thread, not even questioning where you learnt how to do this.

“Sorry, this will hurt again, but not as much,” you warned him, your tone having dropped several notches to something almost melancholic. Angling the needle next to the tender flesh, you waited for his nod until you continued, trying to concentrate throughout the whirling guilt.

He’d gotten himself hurt. Again.

And you weren’t there for him.

Again.

“I’m sorry, Levi,” you whispered, pulling the thread through the wound, slowly closing the gaping tear.

“‘S’fine, I didn’t even feel it,”

“N-no, not that. I’m sorry I wasn’t here. Again,” this was the thing he hated most about you. You had a habit of blaming yourself for things you couldn’t control. You always felt like you had to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, and you always felt like you had to do it alone. It always took Levi some time and a long, long conversation to convince you that you weren’t alone.

“(Y/N), stop,” you immediately pulled back, scared you may have hurt him.

“Sorry! I didn’t realise it was hurting, i’ll try–”

“No. Stop,” he took both your hands in his own, making you raise your eyes to him. “You know thinking like that is pointless because I always manage to get it through your thick skull that I am in fact, not your responsibility, okay? It’s my job to get stabbed, to get shot and have random glass bottles thrown at me. It’s what happens when you steal a bunch of shit and sell it on. So quit thinking like you have to look after me. It should be the other way around,”

“Why? Because you’re a man?” your small, mischievous grin told him he managed to get his message across.

“No, brat. Not because I’m a man,” he stopped that sentence there, for he feared if he’d continued, he wouldn’t have been able to stop himself from confessing how hard he’d fallen for you over the last eight years.

You took his continued silence as a sign that the conversation was over. He had slightly lessened the guilt constricting your heart as you returned to stitching up the gash. It would definitely leave a scar, since you weren’t exactly adept at using a needle and thread yet, but at least he wouldn't bleed out now.

Finishing the final stitch, you cut the thread with a small pocket knife, tossing the blade on the table whilst you reached for the small roll of bandages. You think Viper would be proud of your work.

“This is about as sterile as we’ll find down here,” you comment absentmindedly, stretching out the bandage and applying it over his shoulder and across chest to secure it. You tried to ignore the subtle blush dusting your cheeks as his hard muscle flexed beneath your touch. You tried to ignore the almost mouth watering sight of his shirtless body when you first entered the room. Fuck, you’d tried to ignore the butterflies in your stomach when he took your hands. Tried to ignore how honest he looked.

You tried to ignore how much you’d fallen in love with him.

But Levi was nothing if not observant. He saw the gentle rose petals blooming across your face, smirking slightly to himself at your reaction. Maybe…

Just maybe…

You two could cross that line.

He found himself missing your presence so close to him when you pulled back to admire your work.

“There. All done. Don’t move it too much because if you pull those stitches, I will hold a knife to your throat and you will apologise,” Levi rolled his eyes at your empty threats, internally chuckling at how over dramatic you could be sometimes. “Oh, and rub this salve into it if it starts to hurt. It’s a herbal recipe, supposed to help numb pain,” you left the small tin tub on the table whilst you continued to repack your bag of the supplies Viper had gifted you.

Levi’s eyes followed your movements as you effortlessly reached for the second roll of untouched bandages on the table. It was such a simple movement, but the way your loose shirt untucked from your leather pants, showing just a teasing amount of skin, had him readjusting how he was sitting. Shit you were beautiful. Since you’d both been managing to gain somewhat of an income, you’d been able to afford more food. He marvelled in the way you’d filled out a bit, your own lithe frame rippling with muscle. Granted, you were still dangerously skinny, but that was to be expected down here.

Packing away the final set of stitches, you collapsed onto a chair, once again running a hand through your hair before cringing at the repeated action. You really needed to stop doing that, or your hair would go greasy.

Looking at the small fireplace kettle, you returned your gaze to Levi, who you noticed was still shirtless, and didn’t seem to have any interest in covering up anytime soon. You felt your face heat up for a second, before distracting yourself with something else.

“Tea? I feel like you could do with one,” you grinned playfully, already knowing he would say yes and rising from your seat.

Until you were forcefully shoved back down.

“I’ll get it. You’ve done more than enough,” Levi felt bad expecting you to make him tea as well, but you just didn’t know when to quit. Removing his hand from your shoulder, you stood up, now close enough to either kill him;

Or kiss him.

“Not happening. You almost bled out a few moments ago. I’m not letting you do anything, shortstuff,” you raised an eyebrow, as if daring him to challenge you. Which of course, he did. But not without smirking at the ironic nickname.

“I damaged my shoulder, brat. I’m not crippled. I can make tea for fuck sakes,” there was never really any malice when the two of you argued like this. It was a more playful back and forth.

It was only when the breath of your laugh reached his face did he realise how close you were and the two of you fell into a strangely comfortable silence, subconsciously admiring one another. Only, his view of your face was slightly obstructed.

Levi hesitantly brushed a strand of hair back behind your ear, his hand hovering by the side of your neck. You could see nothing but admiration in his steely, maelstrom hues. Admiration, and something else you were sure you were reciprocating in your own gaze.

It was only then it occured to you.

And you didn’t know how’d you’d been so stupid to miss it.

Levi loved you.

Just as much as you loved him.

“I was worried about you today,” Levi murmured, prying apart the silence as his hand now rested comfortably on the side of your neck. He hadn’t missed what he’d seen in your eyes. A glassy reflection of his own feelings.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to come back late. I just got caught up in some things,” your whisper carried so much tension he was tempted to grab the knife from the table and attempt to slice the air.

But he didn’t.

Instead, he opted to rest his other hand on your waist, gently pulling you closer to his body.

“Will you ever tell me where you disappear off to?” The question held no weight. He knew that if you wanted to tell him, you would. He also knew that you needed your privacy sometimes, and this was just one of those things you didn’t talk about. He just hated how his mind would race when you didn’t come back.

Your heart was almost beating out of your chest, pulse quickening to something you didn’t think possible as the hand on your waist caused goosebumps to prickle your skin. You learnt into his touch as his palm came up to cup your face, thumb tracing the apple of your cheek.

“One day, maybe,” you replied, your hand mimicking his own as you reached up slightly to smooth over his eyebrow, he in return mirrored your response, leaning into your touch. You stayed like this for what felt like years, until he spoke up again with a question that let loose all the caged butterflies in your stomach.

“(Y/N)... can I kiss you?”

Your lips parted as you let out a breath, unable to contain your smile of pure adoration as you nodded a little shyly.

“Yes,” Levi wasted no time. As soon as you managed to form a response, his lips were on yours. You gasped slightly against his mouth, arms moving on their own to wrap around the back of his neck and hold him close.

The hand on your waist extended to embrace your lower back as your lips moulded against one another.

Fuck, he’d dreamt of this moment for so long. And it was so much better than he ever imagined. Levi elicited a breathy moan as you ran your tongue along his bottom lip, silently asking for permission to explore his mouth. Something he was all too eager to accept, eyes rolling as he felt your slick muscle brush against his.

Your hands travelled to thread through his hair as you subtly pushed him back to the chair he’d stood from. He seemed to get the hint, bringing you down with him as he sat, pulling you to straddle his lap.

You drew circles with your nails in his undercut, once again drawing another delightful, gravelly groan from his throat, lips still hungrily devouring his.

It was only until you felt his hardening manhood grind against your slickening folds did a thought occur to you, and you had no choice but to pull back.

“Shit, what about Isobel and Farlan?” it wasn’t a question he put much thought into answering, especially when you were scratching his undercut like that.

“Won’t be back for a few hours,” he mumbled, before reclaiming your mouth in an ever deepening kiss. You whimpered softly as he began to roam your body with his hands, grasping at your waist as you started to rock gently against his tented crotch, relishing the noises he made.

“Ah– (Y/N), sh-shit,” you peppered featherlight kisses along his jawline, stopping briefly to suck his earlobe into your mouth, his soft gasp only fueling your arousal.

His pants grew to whines as you moved down his neck, suckling and biting where you saw fit, leaving purple blemishes across his soft skin. His lengthy moan set your skin ablaze when you found his pulse point, licking a stripe up his neck before sucking on the sensitive spot.

By now, Levi was painfully hard. Wanting nothing more than to free his aching cock from it’s cloth prison. But you were the one in charge here, and he was more than happy to continue at your pace.

As long as you didn’t take too long.

He started thumbing the buttons on your shirt free, dragging it off your shoulders as you continued to leave marks along his collarbones. The clothing was quickly discarded, along with the bralet one of Viper’s escorts gifted you. Levi didn’t have time to admire your breasts within the delicate lace before it was thrown to the floor along with your shirt.

Pride swelled in Levi’s chest as you mewled against his skin, his hands gently kneading your now exposed mounds. He loved how your nipples instantly pebbled beneath his touch, rolling the sensitive nub between his thumb and forefinger, smirking at your hisses.

“Fuck, Levi– shit that feels good,” your praise only made him harder as you sat up, wanting to feel his mouth against yours again. But Levi had other plans.

As soon as you raised your head from the crook of his neck, Levi ducked down and sucked one of your nipples into his mouth. You cried out, back arching into his touch, hips bucking involuntarily. Levi groaned against your breast, the vibrations only adding to the sensation.

Your hands once again found his hair, gently encouraging him to keep going, his own hand rolling your other bud.

Levi switched sides, showing your neglected mound the same kind of treatment, and you couldn’t stop the stream of breathy gasps and desperate whimpers as he showered your breasts in physical praise, making a mental note of every reaction you made to his touch.

Finally you grew impatient, wanting to show him as much love as he was showing you. Your hands withdrew from his hair and you almost laughed at his disappointed huff around your pebbled nipple.

“Don’t worry, I think you’ll like this more,” your voice wasn’t one you recognised. It was lower, breathier. You’d never heard yourself sound like this before.

But what almost broke your resolve was the sound of his voice, showing you just how much your actions had affected him.

“Oh? But I was rather enjoying myself. I think i’ll just continue doing– oh fuck,” Levi threw his head back, eyes screwed shut in pleasure as you palmed his length through his pants. Shit, your mouth watered at the feel of him. Harder than steel and girthy. You briefly wondered how he tasted, that particular spark fueling your next movements.

Slowly sliding from his lap, you left a wet trail of kisses down his chest, careful to avoid the wound in his shoulder. Your lips nipped at each of his abs individually before continuing down to the prominent V in his naval, tongue caressing the small dips directing you down to your goal, Levi encouraging you every step of the way with his sharp breaths and small groans.

Pushing apart his knees, you settled in between his thighs, grinning slyly as he looked down at you, wide eyed. His expression settled for a moment, hand coming to rest against the side of your face.

“(Y/N), you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. I’m more than happy with how far we’ve gone today. I don’t want to force you into doing anything with me if you’re not ready,” your heart almost fell to pieces at the sound of his concerned, yet still gravelly voice. Your coy smile softened to something so genuine and loving, Levi thought he had died.

“Trust me, I want to do this. I’ve wanted to do this for so long, Levi,” you gently caressed his thighs, reassuring him that what you were doing, and what you were about to do, was something you’d longed for.

Levi’s smile was nothing short of angelic. He gently stroked your hair, and despite the heat of the moment, he still managed to make you feel so loved.

“Alright, but if you want to stop at any point, please tell me. I don’t want to make you feel obligated to carry on just because of me, okay?” you nodded happily at his words, giving his leg a small squeeze.

“I promise. Now shut up and let me suck your dick,” Levi laughed breathlessly, tilting up your chin as he leant down to capture your lips in a swift, affectionate kiss.

“You’re filthy,”

“Your fault,” you grinned, subtly fiddling with his belt.

“How is any of this my-ah fuck,” Levi cut himself off as he felt your hand gently grind on his length over his pants, the friction causing him to elicit the most gorgeous whimpers. You could definitely get addicted to the sounds he made.

“Nngh– shit, shitshitshit (Y/N) I– a-ah,” Levi stopped trying to form words as you slowly pulled down the offending clothing, leaving him in just his shorts, cock tenting painfully. You helped him kick his pants from his legs, joining the pile of clothes you’d made as you kept palming his dick. Neither of you had done anything like this before, both being too busy to engage in any sexual activity, but you felt like you already knew what to do. Acting off instinct, you adored his little shiver as you finally freed his length, your own folds slickening at the sight of his leaking manhood.

“Shit Levi, you’re gorgeous,” the compliment slipped out before you could rein it in, Levi’s cheeks heating slightly as your words reached his ears.

“Th-thank you,”

Your eyes took immediate interest in a rather prominent vein pulsing along the underside of his cock, and once again you couldn’t help but wonder how he tasted.

Levi couldn’t think straight. He’d touched himself before, jerking himself off when his hormones deemed it necessary, but he’d never felt anything like this. And when you took a hold of his length, he felt as if every nerve in his body had set alight. His eyes screwed shut instinctively, unable to suppress the breathy moan of ecstasy.

You started to slowly stroke up and down tentatively, watching the different expressions he made. You never thought he could look so needy, and yet here he was, mouth hanging open, brows knitted, eyes closed, a gentle flush dusting his cheeks. You smiled slightly at his breathless pants, taking note of how his breath hitched when you circled his leaking tip with your thumb, smearing his precum across his over his pulsing cock.

His hips bucked unapologetically, back arching into your touch as you squeezed him experimentally.

“Fuck…! Fucking— HAH, a-aah, oh my god… (Y/N), what’re you— FUCK… fuck, ‘feels so— nngh, feelssogood,” Levi’s words slurred as his head lolled back, sweat starting to bead on his brow. He didn’t know what to do with his hands, switching between gripping the table next to him and hovering around your head.

You hadn’t even taken him in your mouth yet, and he was already reacting so well to your touch. You watched him physically relax as you let him go, giving him some time to recover before you’d take it further.

“'M’gonna take you in my mouth, okay? Tell me if it’s too much or if you want me to slow down,” you rested your head against his inner thigh, admiring his fucked out expression as he nodded, his bangs sticking to the slick of his forehead. You could stare at him like this for hours, committing every part of his face to memory. But the temptation to show him how good you could make him feel was far too great.

Leaning forward, you gripped around the length of his cock, delivering a few kitten licks to the tip, relishing in the responsive jolt of his sensitive body. Shit you were wet, it was taking all of your willpower not to reach down and pleasure yourself. You knew your matching underwear was likely ruined, quickly lamenting the loss of such an expensive gift, but that thought was quickly extinguished as you ran your tongue along that delicious looking vein you’d clocked earlier.

“SHIT, oh fuck, ohfuckohfuckohfuck, (Y/N)... shit, (Y/NNNNN),” just as you thought your own arousal couldn’t grow any further, he whined your name and you almost came there and then. Smirking against his dick, you leant forward just a little more, and engulfed his tip in your mouth, slowly taking more of him.

Levi’s hips bucked into your warmth, unable to stop himself as his brain was completely consumed by the sheer, mind-shattering pleasure. He’d decided this was nothing like getting himself off. This was something completely different. This was on a whole other level.

When you had taken as much as you could of his length in your mouth, you started to bob up and down, hollowing your cheeks as you pulled back to suck on his tip, before engulfing him again.

You could have sworn he almost screamed.

“Aaa-ah, you’re… you’re so– nngh, so good at this, HAH-aah, w-wait, fuck, s-slow down. ‘M gonna’– AH, ‘m gonna’ cum,” you did as he asked, taking your mouth of his raging length, gently caressing the base with your thumb as you waited for his laboured breaths to calm.

“Take your time, baby. Let me know when you’re ready,” even in his foggy, aroused state, he was still able to squint down at you with a brow raised at the new pet name. He couldn’t say he didn’t like it though, looking at your swollen, shining lips slick with your saliva and his pearly essence.

“Fuck (Y/N), you’re fucking stunning, look at you,” Levi tenderly held the side of your face, thumb smoothing over your eyebrow as he regarded you with such fondness. He hissed as you jerked his length in retaliation.

“Don’t be so cute, it’s not allowed whilst I’m sucking you off,”

“Technically you weren’t, you were waiting for me,”

“Oh is that how you want to do this?” you eyed him mischievously, and before Levi could even respond, you took his entire, swollen length down your throat, gagging a little at the intrusion before slowly getting used to him.

Whatever Levi was about to say died on his tongue as the tip of his cock brushed the back of your throat. He had no choice but to surrender to the pleasure threatening to shatter his mind, his mouth falling open as you swallowed around his sensitive tip.

“Shit…! Oh fuck, oh fuck, (Y/N)– nngh, haaah, ah, fuck, don’t stop. Don’t… don’t stop,” Levi panted, only just able to form cohesive words as you continue to take him down your tight, warm throat. He sandwiched his bottom lip between his teeth, biting almost hard enough to draw blood.

Tears started to line your lashes as you suppress your gag reflex, swirling your tongue along the underside of his length. Your eyes rolled back as his hands found your hair, not to push you onto him, but just so he didn’t completely lose himself in the pleasure.

The vibrations in the back of your throat as you moaned only heightened the sensation, and Levi wasn’t able to take much more.

“Hhhh, (Y-Y/N), m-move away, i’m -shit- i’m gonna cum, i’m gonna fucking cum!” but you didn’t move, instead opting to moan more wantanly, lapping at his cock and swallowing him down your throat, your hands coming up to rub and cup his rapidly tightening balls. His thighs began to shake as he came undone, back arching completely off the chair. His head was thrown back as you watched his Adam's apple bob through wet lashes.

“Ah, hnng– a-AH, FUCK (Y/NNN)!!” Levi came with a broken, desperate cry of your name on his lips, his salty seed shooting down your throat. His hands tightened in your hair, clinging on for dear life as you milked him through his orgasm, sucking him dry.

It wasn’t until he’d completely emptied himself into your mouth did he collapse back on the chair, breathing as if he’d just run a marathon.

You released him from your mouth with a pop, tenderly kissing his tip clean before rising to check the state of your partner.

“Levi?” you giggled, moving to carefully straddle his lap so you could take his face in your hands. He looked completely spent, head heavy as he lazily grasped your waist. “You alright?” you thought your question fell on deaf ears, until he cracked an eye open.

“Honestly? I don’t know. I think you broke me,” you laughed at his tired, satisfied smile, brushing his sweat slickened locks from his forehead to lean against him.

“Was that okay?” you asked, searching his face for an answer. The grin he gave sent butterflies to your stomach and heat to your already throbbing core.

“Are you serious? Yes, that was okay. That was more than okay. It was incredible,” he gently wiped away any salty tears from below your lash line. “You’re incredible,” Levi leant up to capture your lips in a tender, loving kiss. It didn’t quite have the same heat as earlier, it felt more fueled with adoring gratitude. You pulled back a fraction.

“Who knew you could be so vocal?” you teased with a lopsided smirk, earning yourself a small, playful nip on your lower lip followed by a low, breathy laugh rumbling from his chest.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up brat. Not like I won’t get you back,” you hadn’t noticed his hand had trailed down to the crease in your thighs until a bolt of pleasure shocked your system as he slowly pressed his thumb to your swollen clit. “Speaking of which…” –he whispered, dark eyes searching your own– “Would you mind if I repay the favour?” Levi didn’t give you time to respond before his head ducked down below your chin, licking a long, deliberate stripe up the column of your throat. He smiled against your skin as you began to rock your hips against his hand, moaning and gasping with each movement.

“Mmn, Levi,” you breathed his name like a secret, shivering as he decorated your neck and collarbones with red and purple blossoms, leaving his mark on you.

“I liked the sounds you made when I did this,” Levi’s hand left a trail of goosebumps as he travelled from your waist, up you naval to your breasts, the pads of his fingers rolling the pebbled buds. Your needy cry caused his fingers to grind harder on your clothed clit, increasing the speed as you threw your head back, the pleasure consuming you.

“Fuck…! Levi… ‘need more… ple-HAAH, please,” you whined, lamenting the loss of friction as he guided you to stand. Your confusion was short lived when he pulled you back down to straddle one of his thighs, hands gripping your waist and encouraging you to drag your hips against him in a steady rhythm. Levi snickered against your neck as you gripped his shoulders, grinding wantanly against his muscular leg.

“Feel good?” he asked, brushing your hair back behind your ears as you nodded eagerly, too busy whimpering to form words. He could feel your slick soak through the leather of your pants before making the executive decision that you were wearing far too many clothes for his liking.

Levi deftly unclasped the front of your belt, chuckling as you refused to stop chasing your high long enough for him to pull them down.

“(Y/N), you’re gonna need to move,” his husky voice sent shivers down your spine, heightening the blissful sensation of your knot rubbing against his thigh.

“Nngh– can’t… a-aah! Feels… feels too g-good,” you were so close. That coil in your lower stomach tightening and you knew any moment, with just the right movement, it would snap and you would release all over his thigh.

Or at least, it would have done, had his strong hands not stilled your hips.

“L-Levi?! What the fuck? I was right there,” you pouted as he gently lifted you from his lap, tugging down your pants.

You felt a flair of pride as his jaw dropped at your choice of underwear, the deep red, intricately laced material covering only the bare minimum, accentuating the curve of your hips and the lean muscle of your legs.

If only you’d kept the bralet on. You’d give anything to see his expression when you rocked the set together.

“Fuck…” he breathed, standing from the chair and reaching for you as you kicked the pants from your legs. You smirked, seeing his length hardening once again.

“Hmm, like what you see?” you stepped back like a sly vixen, motioning him to come closer with a provocative finger. You saw his dick twitch in response.

“I’m going to fucking devour you,” your breath hitched in your throat as he caged you against the wall with his arms, his mouth hovering by your ear, soft whisper tickling your neck before it was replaced with his tongue sucking against your pulse point. You arched into his touch, smiling as he tried unsuccessfully to repress the small groan when your hips ground against his cock, your own clothed sex throbbing at the touch.

You’d completely forgotten about his hands until they travelled round to cup your ass, squeezing and moulding the cheeks in his palms. Your gasp spurred him on, lifting you so you could wrap your legs around his waist, both moaning as you came ever closer to each other.

Levi held you against the wall, still nipping and biting at the flesh on your neck, sucking sweet bruises into the skin. Hoisting you up with one forearm, he let the other skirt between you, the pads of his fingers finding a home against your damp folds.

“Shit you’re soaked. You’ve completely ruined these, (Y/N),” he teased, gently rubbing your clit not nearly enough for you to find your high, but enough to coerce the most delicious moans from your throat.

“Mmn, worth it,” you grinned, head tilted upwards as he attacked the hollow of your throat with his mouth. His laugh fluttered against your neck, your hands finding purchase in his inky locks.

“C’mere you,” Levi’s playful tone went straight to your heart as he held you against him, carrying you from the wall. His arms braced under your ass as you leaned down to capture his mouth, lips moving in sync against each other.

You hadn’t noticed he’d carried you into his room until you both fell amongst the bed covers, his body covering yours.

You lay there, panting, looking up into those eyes you’d come to adore. The smile so rare you sometimes didn’t think he even could. You certainly didn’t think it would be so beautiful. Your hand came up to cup his face, chest warming as he nuzzled into the touch.

“Hey,” he breathed, kissing the heel of your palm.

“Hey,” you replied with a soft laugh.

“Bye,” you looked at him, your expression puzzled at the response.

“Wha– FUCK!” your hips arched as his fingers once again dipped between your thighs, sandwiching and rubbing your clit between his thumb and forefinger, his head trailing kisses down your front, pausing briefly to pay attention to your breasts before continuing south.

His fingers hooked over your waistband and Levi looked up at you for permission as he settled between your thighs. You smiled at his continued show of chivalry, nodded in confirmation before the cool air caressed your swollen pussy.

Levi must have forgotten how to breathe. That must be why he felt so lightheaded. Why his heart was beating so hard. Why his mind was reeling.

“God, look at you (Y/N), you’re perfect,” if you weren’t so goddamn aroused, you might have shed a tear at the compliment. You’d never had anyone say anything like that to you before. You’d never had anyone call you stunning, or pretty, or perfect. He made you feel so special.

And so fucking good.

Smirking slightly to himself, Levi turned to your inner thigh, biting gently at the supple, soft muscle and relishing how you squirmed eagerly beneath his touch. He was teasing you, and you were growing rather impatient.

But he couldn’t help it. He’d dreamt of this for so long he wanted to savour the moment. Wanted to remind himself that this wasn't a dream. He’d loved you for so long, and he couldn’t even fathom the elation now he knows that you love him back. The sweet scent of your dripping folds pulled him back to reality, like a siren beckoning him to a watery death, he let your essence pull him in, before the tip of his nose rested on the pearl of your clit.

His hands dragged up your thighs, gently kneading the sensitive flesh. He stayed like that for what felt like far too long, until everything happened at once. Throwing your legs over his shoulder, Levi’s tongue lapped a strong, solid line through your centre, sending your mind reeling.

“Aaaah…! Yes, Levi, Levi…!” Levi’s mind could have been a crime investigation blackboard. Making a mental note of every single reaction you were making. The buck of your hips when he kisses your folds. The arch of your back when he suckles on your clit. The hitch in your breath as his fingers came up to slowly tease your soaking entrance. Levi pulled back slightly, peering up at you and honestly, you almost lost control at the sight of him.

His mouth and chin dripping with your juices, pupils blown with pure, hungry desire. You parted your lips to comment on the delightful sight, but were cut off by the rogue moan he dragged from your throat, his fingers gently rubbing your clit, slowly travelling further south until you felt them circling your aching hole. Nerves gently bubbled through your stomach. You’d heard what the prostitutes and escorts said about a woman’s first time. You knew it was going to hurt, if the two of you went that far tonight. You knew it wasn’t going to be amazing the first time.

Levi also seemed to know.

“Hey, I’m not expecting anything after this, okay? I just want to pay you back for earlier, and make you feel… well, good. We can stop if you want,” you whined slightly at the loss of friction against your sensitive bud, but you couldn’t deny the reassurance calming your suddenly beating heart.

“Stop now and I’ll never give you head again,” you grinned, but he could see the sincerity and gratitude behind your mischievous eyes. You wanted this, and he was more than happy to provide.

“Order received,” he chuckled, before returning his mouth to your waiting pussy.

“Fuck, yes…! Yesyesyesyes HAA-AH, L-Levi…! Right there, fuck, fuck! Yes, right there,” Levi smirked as you whined his name, realising he’d never heard a sweeter sound.

Maybe the bubble of your laughter at a close second.

That same scandalous finger still rubbing patterns into your now throbbing clit, bringing you closer to your high. His other hand once again returning to your wanton hole, gently massaging your folds as his tongue darted into your entrance, dragging a long needy moan from your mouth.

Levi gently eased his finger into your waiting heat, his eyes rolling at how tight you were. He loosened a groan as he ground his now seeping length into the sheets below, the vibrations from his mouth almost enough to send you over the edge if you weren’t clenching at the strange intrusion.

As if sensing your slight discomfort, Levi latched onto the hood of your clit and sucked, relishing in the desperate cry of his name as the pad of his fingertip started rubbing against your walls.

The clench of discomfort soon turned to a flutter of pleasure as you adapted to having someone touch you so intimately. You started to understand why some women enjoy this, and more so when Levi twisted his wrist, hooking his fingers up and brushing against that spongy spot hidden deep within your folds almost by accident. He was worried he’d hurt you, your reaction was so sudden, but your loose string of breathless moans put him at ease.

“SHIT, there, stay… Nngh, AAH, stay there… that feels, yes…! That feels so good Levi,” you threw your head back against the pillow in utter ecstasy as he continued to massage that spot, easing anothing finger in to add to the now heightened pleasure. Whilst you felt both fingers inside of you, there was no discomfort as his tongue continued to swirl around your pearl.

This was his favourite part. Whilst having you kneeling between his thighs and shattering his control was indescribable, nothing could compare to the pleasure he felt whilst eating you out like a starved man. Fuck it felt good to make you feel good. Levi couldn’t stop his constant stream of whispered groans as his cock contiued to weep precum at the mere realisation he was wedged between your legs, feasting on your sex. He continued to grind against the mattress, feeling his own release start to tighten.

Quickening the pace of his working fingers, you couldn’t decipher the pattern Levi was lapping with his tongue, moving in what you thought was random zig-zags against your almost overstimulated clit.

You felt your thighs start to shake, moans escalating into high pitched, breathy pants as the coil in your stomach tightened to the point of snapping, quivering with tension.

“I’m gonna– fuuuuck…! Levi, Lev-Levi, I'm gonna cum… Yes, oh fuck yes, YES FUCK oh– LEVIIII!” with the continued ‘come here’ motion and mind numbing pace of his fingers against your g-spot and a final, long suck of your clit, you completely came undone with a desperate, lengthy scream of his name. Knuckles draining white with your iron grip on the sheets, your thighs locked around his head as your back arched completely off the bed.

It was all Levi needed to find his own release, hearing you chant his name like a prayer and feeling you convulse around his fingers and gush around his face was enough for him to spill all over the bedsheets, a small needy whine fluttering from his muffled mouth, devoured by your leaking cunt.

You two stayed like that for a moment as you both came down, Levi allowing you to catch your breath before being forced to tap on your thighs to release him, the clamp around his head easing.

“As happy as I would be suffocated between your legs, I don’t think I want to die quite yet,” Levi’s gravelly, gently teasing voice brought your back down from whatever elysium your mind had wandered off to, feeling his breath against your face. Your eyes peeled open, too fucked out to widen completely at the state of his face. Pearly white translucent essence lathered his lips and chin, bathing him in a glossy coat until he wiped it away with his other hand.

“What the fuck was that pattern? The one with your tongue?”

“Something I thought of on the spur of the moment. L-E-V-I, A-C-K-E-R–” your giddy giggle cut him off, hand pushing his face to the side playfully.

“Okay okay I get it, you’re utterly filthy and possessive.”

“Well, I had to leave my mark on you somehow.”

“As if the marks on my neck don’t exist.”

“Oh, they do. I’ll be spelling my name like that next time,” you gaped at his cocky smirk, unable to believe this was the same man you’d spent years living with.

As if inspecting your release on the tips of his fingers, he went to suck them clean in his mouth, but you were suddenly much faster. Grabbing his wrist, you brought his hand to your face, engulfing his fingers and swirling your tongue around the soft pads.

Levi’s eyes widened, a brow raised in incredulous disbelief.

“You brat, that was mine,” he huffed against your neck, looking at his hand with a pout as you took his fingers out your mouth with a small suck.

“Hmm, I don’t taste too bad,” you mused with a smirk, hoping to get some sort of rise out of him.

What you weren’t expecting was for him to roll to the side, pulling you into his chest so you had to angle your head up to peer into his now soft, grey eyes.

“You taste divine, firefly,” your heart skipped a beat at the nickname he’d only called you twice before.

“Why do you call me that? Don’t get me wrong, I love it but– why?” you murmured, snuggling into his warmth as much as you could whilst still being able to look into his loving gaze.

Levi stayed quiet for a moment, almost as if he were contemplating something, before gently tucking a strand of loose hair behind your ear.

“Because you’re a light, (Y/N). I was in a shit place, and you were a light. From the day I met your scrawny ass. You shone like some weird, feisty little beacon. You’re my firefly in the dark,” Levi was never good with words. Shit, he didn’t know how many times he’d rehearsed that little explanation, ready for the day when you would inevitably ask, and even then he still got it wrong. There was so much more he wanted to say. How you guided him forward. How you bathed him in your glow. You were so much more than his beacon.

You were his whole heart and soul.

You had been for a while.

Tears lined your eyes. You certainly weren’t expecting that. You weren’t expecting something so tender, even after your lovemaking. You weren’t expecting to see the raw, unwavering devotion in his eyes as he spoke such soft, soulmending words. His arms tightened around your waist as you nestled into the crook of his neck, breathing in his fresh, sweat musked scent.

You were both tired, content from you finding your highs in each other. Administrating pleasure for one another.

You were both happy with how far things had gone.

Then why were you both still awake?

Levi felt you lashes flutter intermittently against his collarbones, his only indication that you joined him in consciousness.

Neither of you said anything. You didn’t have to. Raising your head from his neck, the unspoken want reflected in his own eyes. Your lips joined his, gently moulding against one another in a gentle, passionate kiss. Wordlessly, he rolled on top of you, caging you against the bed with his arms either side of your head as his mouth moved against yours.

“Do you want this?” Levi pulled back just far enough to murmur, his lips still ghosting your own. Your hands found his hair, gently massaging his scalp as you nodded, looking deeply into those stormy eyes, blue and silver swirling seamlessly within his irises.

“I want you, Levi. Always you,” you responded, leaning back up to close the miniscule gap between you. One of your hands travelled down his back, skirting round his hips to his half hard length. You giggled cheekily at his muffled groan when you took him in your hand again, slowly pumping as he continued to harden. You wanted this. More than anything, you wanted him to claim you, and you wanted to claim him. You belonged to each other.

Levi lined himself up with your folds, shivering as his tip grazed your wetness.

“Last chance to say no before I take your virginity,” there was nothing but sweet sincerity in his hushed voice, his thumb caressing your cheekbone.

You masked your nervousness by raising a cocky brow, a lopsided smirk pulling at your lips.

“Right back at you, handsome,” you replied, but Levi could see right through you. Though your tone put him at ease slightly, he could still tell you were anticipating what was to come.

“I’ll be gentle, I promise. I’d never deliberately hurt you, (Y/N),” Levi lowered himself to recapture your lips, hoping to take some of your mind off the pain as he began to ease himself into your slick folds. You were thankful he’d stretched you somewhat with his fingers, but it wasn’t quite enough to quell the pained hiss you elicited as he slowly filled you. He would pause his movements at every sharp inhale, patiently waiting for you to accommodate his girth. It actually helped him as well, the overwhelming pleasure of your walls tightening around his cock almost enough to send him over the edge for the third time. He felt guilty for enjoying it, knowing you were in a lot of discomfort.

“I’ve got you firefly. I’ve got you. You’re doing so well, we’re almost there, I promise, take as long as you need, I’ve got you,” he cooed reassuring encouragement in your ear, letting you know there was no pressure on you. You relaxed a little, feeling the pain ease a tad as you did.

Levi felt your muscles loosen a fraction, and relief washed over him at the mere thought of you feeling a little more comfortable. Still, he refused to move until he’d heard you give him the go-ahead. You were dictating this, and he was once again more than happy to go at your own pace.

“Okay… okay. You okay?” you opened an eye to look up at his strained expression, slightly concerned he wasn’t enjoying it. You knew it would get better for you, but there was no point in continuing if he wasn’t feeling good either. But that thought was quickly extinguished when he nodded slightly erratically.

“Yeah, more than okay. I should be asking you that,” your small, huffed amusement was music to his ears.

“Go on then,” you smiled mischievously, almost forgetting about the tearing pain between your thighs. Your calmed, comfortable demeanor soothed his guilt ridden heart as he smiled fondly.

“You okay?” he gave you an eskimo kiss, gently nuzzling his nose against yours.

“More than okay,” you replied, copying his own response with an earnest grin. “You can keep going, by the way. Sorry, I should have said that sooner,” you smiled, looking away a little sheepishly. He hated how you thought that way. Hated how, even now, you weren’t thinking about yourself. He swept away your expression with a quick peck to your lips.

“No, you shouldn’t have. I want to move with you. This is all about you, don’t worry about me,” you could have cried at his words, feeling his lips against your neck. “You feel amazing,” he whispered, grasping the sheets as he continued to fill you to the hilt. You hissed again, but the pain was lessening to a dull throb now, his entire length sitting snug within your walls.

You both paused again, allowing you to get used to the sensation of being so full.

“Everything alright?” you could have chuckled at the obvious restraint in his voice, heart warming knowing he was doing everything he could to make you feel as comfortable as possible. You loved how he continued to need reassurance.

“Yeah, all good. You can move now baby,” Levi looked back at you, wide eyed and stunned.

“Are you sure? You don’t need more time? I can wait, I don’t want you to think–” he couldn’t finish his sentence before your lips crashed against his, your hips bucking as you feasted on his mouth. His eyes rolled at the friction and you swallowed the groan escaping his lips as he began to pull out, only to slowly thrust back in, his eyes fluttering shut at the sensation of your gummy walls gripping and massaging his length.

“Fuck… god you feel so good,” he moaned, having to remove his mouth from yours in favour of breathing. You gasped quietly, raising your legs to wrap around his waist, encouraging his hips to roll deeper. The pain had been completely replaced by a unique pleasure you’d never felt before.

“Yes… Levi, shit, yes…!” Your breathy moans fueled his gentle thrusts, keeping the pace steady and rhythmic. It worked perfectly for both of you, especially when the tip of his cock grazed the same spot you were sure his fingers were grinding against earlier.

“There! L-Levi, right there, yes oh fuck!” you whined, rolling your hips to meet his. Levi stilled, allowing you to grind yourself on his length, your mouth falling open as he continued to rub against your g-spot, the spongy texture enveloping his leaking tip.

“(Y/N), a-aah,” Levi gave up on forming words for the second time that night, loosening a lengthy, gravelly groan into your ear. You whimpered as he started to thrust again, picking up the tempo as the two of you lost yourselves in the pleasure of each other’s bodies.

He kept the angle the same, heatedly relishing in the high pitched moans with each well placed thrust.

“M-more, Le-vi, Levi, ‘need more,” your heels dug into the small of his back as if he would pull away. Snaking his hand between you, your hips bucked wildly as he started to circle your clit with his first two fingers.

“Yes, yes, FUCK, yes, shit (Y/N),” he couldn’t stop the stream of breathy grunts as your walls contracted around him, sucking him deeper than he ever imagined. “Does it– nngh– does it feel g-good?” he asked, as if you could find a voice with which to reply. Miraculously, you managed to nod frantically, uttering a guttural “yes” as his thrusts swiftened to something a little rougher, encouraged by your continued string of curses, his hips now pounding into you. The room was filled with the sound of skin slapping against skin, the continued squelching of his cock entering you repeatedly only heightened the sensation as you walls began to clench, you high fast approaching with the repeated rubbing of your clit and g-spot. Your nails began to claw against his back, scratching lines of fire against his skin.

“Levi... LEVI! Fuck… fuck... I’m gon-na cum. D-don’t stop, feelssogood…!”  

“Yeah? C-cum then. Cu– fuck, cum for me,”

“A-ah, Levi, yes… YES…! LEVIIII…!” Levi’s breath hitched as you held him in a vice grip, his eyes rolling back in sheer ecstasy as you came around his dick, back bowed in an arch, eyes closed as your orgasm washed over you in waves Your thighs shuddered and tightened around his hips as he fucked you through you high, fingers still blurring against your pearled bud until overstimulation shattered through your nerves, muscles twitching and clamping as he continued to find his own high.

“Shit…! Shit, oh fuck… Fuck, i’m so close, (Y/N) I’m s-so– so close, ha-ah…! Nngh, i’m gonna– oh fuck, yes… yes fuck…! Imgonnacum, (Y/N)... aa-aah, fuck (Y/N)!” Levi only just managed to pull out before he came across your abs, groaning desperately as his hips bucked into your lower stomach. You reached down through your own fucked out haze to grasp his cock, milking him through his orgasm much like you did early on in the night. Thumb grazing circles across his overly sensitive tip.

“Fuck, (Y/N) stop, ‘s too much… p-please,” you grinned against his neck as he collapsed on top of you, his face turning to the side as he fell between your shoulder and the pillow, panting against your skin.

You both refused to move, limbs too heavy to even think about cleaning up right now.

“Fuck… that was good,” you breathed, arms coming to drape across his marked back. It was only then you realised how painful it looked. “Levi! Oh my god I’m so sorry! Are you okay?” you asked, gently caressing the now raised lines across the muscles on his shoulders and back, hoping to soothe what you had done. He huffed a chuckle at the concern in your tone. If only you knew how much he’d loved feeling you draw white hot lines into his skin.

“Don’t be. I’m fine, I kinda liked it,” he confessed, tilting his head up to look into your shimmering, concerned eyes. (E/C) irises that quickly swirled with cheeky intent. You poked his forehead fondly, raising a brow.

“You little masochist,” your teasing tone made him lift his heavy body off yours, holding his weight a little shakily on his elbows as he leaned down to kiss you gently, his tongue brushing effortlessly against yours.

“Mmm, it was rather good wasn’t it?” he smirked against your lips as you scoffed.

“Rather? Says the man who the neighbours will be complaining about for the next god-knows-how-long. I think even those shit eating nobles above ground heard you,” you teased, smoothing over his eyebrow, his eyes rolling dramatically as he bunched up the sheet to gently wipe his seed from your abdomen.

“Okay fine, it was really good. But you know, you weren’t exactly silent yourself, right?” you’d never get bored of this banter between you. Never get tired of the amused spark in his dark irises, the slight quirked pull of his lips.

“Shut up,” you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him against your neck when you couldn’t keep up the feigned annoyance on your face. He chuckled into the dip between your neck and shoulder before the two of you fell silent, content to bask in each other’s comforting warmth.

“You need to go pee,” and maybe it was his flat delivery breaking the serene silence, but that one sentence broke you. You exploded into fits of laughter, head thrown back in hilarity. Levi looked up in bewilderment, puzzled by your sudden reaction. But you had a certain contagious spark to your laughter, and he found himself joining you in your amusement. You couldn’t tell whether it was the release of all the sexual tension between you, or whether it was the elating realisation that you belonged to each other. Whether it was the relief of finally physically admitting your mutual attraction, or something completely different, but you found yourself unable to stop the bubbles of happiness from escaping your chest, even when you’d calmed down a little.

Levi too managed to control his hiccups of mirth, at least enough to ask you a one word question.

“What?”

You adored the way he looked at you and you were sure only one other person had ever seen him look like that before.

“Nothing, you’ve always got my wellbeing at the front of that beautiful mind of yours, haven’t you?” your hands carded through his hair as he rolled his eyes again. You could tell he was trying to school his smile back to neutral, but found himself unable when faced with your grinning visage.

“Shut up and go pee brat, I’ll clean up here,” Levi reluctantly rolled off you, pulling you up with him because he knew you wouldn’t have moved otherwise. You were shaky on your legs and he held your arms until you’d regained your strength before sending you off with a quick peck on your lips, something you tried to deepen but he caught on to your antics disappointingly quickly. “Go, you insatiable minx,” you laughed again as he gently pushed you, not before glancing at your gorgeous physique.

“Oi, stop checking me out,” you grinned over your shoulder as you left the room to do as he said.

It didn’t take him very long to strip the bed and change the sheets, finding some spare cloth and cases to drape over the bare mattress and pillows, bundling up the dirty bed clothes and dumping them in a small basket to be washed All before you wandered back in. Levi could see how tired you looked as you made a beeline for him, not quite with the same savvy confidence as you had five minutes ago, the night’s activities finally catching up with you. He couldn’t say he felt any different.

“C’mere beautiful,” he sighed as you collapsed into his chest. Levi tightened his arms around your body, pulling you to the bed with him.

Lying down on the fresh sheets, he tucked you closer into his chest, a smile pulling at his lips as you wrapped your tired arms around him.

As if he would ever leave you.

Tilting his head down, he pressed a delicate kiss to your hair, smiling against the faint scent of his soap you usually used.

“I love you, Levi,” Levi’s breath hitched at the three words he’d longed to hear you say. Never in his entire Underground existence did he think he could ever be this happy. The thought provoked a rogue tear to slide down his cheek.

When he’d regained some of his composure, realising he hadn’t moved or even breathed for a little too long,  his legs shifted to tangle with yours, simply wanting to feel you against him.

“I love you too, firefly,” he felt your soft, relieved smile against his neck as you both settled into each other, drifting off into one of the longest sleep either of you had managed in a very, very long time. At some point he’d rolled the two of you over, facing his back to the door, caging you in and instinctively protecting you against the horrors that lay outside those four walls.

Neither of you woke when Isobel and Farlan returned to the house in complete disarray.

Isobel immediately suspected what had happened judging by the plethora of discarded clothing and bundled white sheets in the wash basket.

“Oh my god, Farlan look! Is bro okay? Wait, are they both okay?! Look at (Y/N)’s neck!” Isobel gawked in slightly scared awe at her brother and his childhood friend. Well, lover now, they supposed, if the scratches on his back and the hickeys on your neck were anything to go by.

“How long do you think they’ve been knocked out like this?” the taller, sandy haired man asked, raising a brow to the girl as they leant on the doorframe, both looking at your sleeping, barely covered forms.

“Honestly? Beats me. Took them long enough though. If they didn’t fuck soon I would have thrown myself out the window. You could smell the sexual tension between those two,”

“That’s gross, Issy,” Isobel giggled at Farlan’s disapproving look, the dirty blonde clipping the back of her head as he leaned forward to shut the door, giving the two of you privacy.

Levi had been semi-coherent. Too tired and comfortable to throw either of them one of his glares, the sleeping bundle in his arms had softened him to the point of gooeyness. He smiled contently against your head.

Honestly, he couldn’t blame Isobel.

If you two hadn’t done something soon…

He would have thrown himself out the window alongside her.

꧁ꨄ꧂

“So, you did know her?” Levi tried to trace the steps he took that led up to this exact situation. He was always about no regrets, but shit, if he wasn’t starting to have a few. Sitting opposite his Commander, an ankle crossed over his knee, arms folded defensively, occasionally leaning forwards to take sips from his small cup of tea he’d managed to bring with him before being almost dragged into the blonde’s office.

He rolled his eyes, setting down his teacup once again, his arms returning to their positions against his chest.

��No. I already told you,” he’d insisted on keeping up this charade of ignorance, not knowing what it would do to either of you if anyone found out. Although he knew it was useless lying to him, Erwin would inevitably find out sooner or later.

The man across his face rubbed his palm against the side of his face in slight frustration, eyes closing as he took a calming breath. Levi almost felt sorry for him. He knew Erwin was under a lot of constant stress, and he knew he was contributing to that stress right now. If it was about anyone else, he would have caved in sooner. But this was you, and he would go to the ends of the earth to protect you.

“Levi… this is serious. If you know her, I need to know. It could help us protect her–”

“Protect her? Against what? I thought the MPs were done with her now,” Levi’s façade slipped slightly as worry invaded his normally rational mind. Erwin raised a thick eyebrow, clearly noting Levi’s change of tone.

“Just because they’re done with her doesn’t mean they won’t fight to get their way. She killed a lot of their soldiers, Levi. It’s only natural they would want to harm her, and we can only offer so much protection to the criminals we seem to be accumulating,” Erwin explained cautiously, as if realising Levi was a ticking time bomb, and any wrong move could set him off. But the shorter man decided against exploding at that comment, too fixated on the idea you could be harmed further.

“But you struck a deal with Niles, right? Aren’t you commanders supposed to honour deals like that?” the ravenette asked with no small degree of irritation in his tone. Erwin seemed to be slowly understanding what was going on. It was becoming more obvious that Humanity’s Strongest Soldier was perhaps more than familiar with The Raven.

“Levi, please. Who was she to you? An associate? Business partner? A friend? A lover?” Levi’s jaw flickered at the last suggestion, telling the Commander all he needed to know. “Really?” there was no judgement in his voice, only genuine, surprised curiosity. He didn’t think Levi even had it in him to love another, especially since he’s lost so many.

“Tch, so what?” might as well admit to it now he’d already guessed. Levi’s heart clenched with guilt, already trying to formulate some sort of plan. He didn’t know why there would be any repercussions to the two of you having a relationship years ago, but he didn’t doubt there would be. There always seemed to be.

“No, nothing, I’m just… surprised if I’m honest. You’ve never mentioned her before,” Erwin seemed genuinely, innocently interested, rather than that usual tone he took when he was fishing for information. Levi relaxed a tad, reaching for his teacup and taking a good, long sip, providing himself time to think.

“It was a very long time ago now… We haven’t seen each other in a decade or so,” he admitted quietly over the rim of his teacup, attempting to hide his face behind his hand.

“Do you still love her?” Levi almost choked on his tea at the sudden, incredibly personal question. The obvious answer was yes. Yes, he still loved you. He never stopped loving you. He only realised how much he really did still love you when he saw you again.

“No,” his response wasn’t as strong as he wanted it to be, and true to his perceptive nature, Erwin noted his hesitancy.

“I think we’re well past lying now, don’t you think?” Erwin smiled gently, now knowing why this was always such a sensitive subject for Levi. Why he stormed into his office the other day demanding to talk to him. Why he was so beside himself about your treatment.

That was his past lover.

Levi sighed, placing the teacup back on the desk before running a frustrated hand through his hair.

“It’s more complicated than that,”

“It’s a yes or no question Levi,”

“What’s it to you, Eyebrows? Pretty sure my answer doesn’t dictate whether she’s safe or not just because The Raven is an ex to one of your captains,” the venom in his voice was tamed by his obvious fatigue. Erwin could only imagine how much of a toll this had taken on the ravenette.

“No. It doesn’t. But I don’t want you to think you can’t come to your friends about something like this, Levi. She’s–” Erwin cut himself off, internally debating the best way to go about this. “She’s somebody important to you. Incredibly important, if your little display the other demonstrated anything,” Levi rolled his eyes, clicking his tongue at the remark.

“I just don’t want her to get hurt. More than she already has,” it was strange seeing Levi, a man Erwin had known to be incredibly stoic and in control seem so vulnerable. It was strange to think Levi had any weaknesses. But the blonde supposed every man had a weakness. Even him.

However if Levi didn’t want her to get hurt, then he should have spoken up before Erwin struck a deal with the MPs to let her join the Scouts.

“Levi… She's a Scout now. It’s highly likely she’s going to get hurt on expeditions,”

“I KNOW THAT,” Erwin raised his brows at the sudden, raised tone, not expecting something quite that desperate to come from Levi, the smaller man now refusing to make eye-contact. “I know that,” he repeated quietly. It was obvious he was in a difficult situation.

“Then I'll ask you again. Do you still love her?” Erwin’s tone was ever patient, something Levi appreciated as he sat in silence before answering, once again unable to meet Erwin’s piercing gaze.

“Yes. Yes I do. I didn’t stop. I never stopped loving her,” Erwin’s expression softened at Levi’s words, leaning his chin against his intertwined fingers, his elbows resting on the desk.

“Does she know that?”

“Fuck sakes Erwin, are you seriously giving me dating advice?” Levi raised what could have been an amused brow, if only the seriousness of the conversation didn’t convert it into something of irritation. He couldn’t deny this conversation had gone better than he could have expected. He didn’t expect his Commander to be so supportive of a relationship between his Strongest Soldier and The Raven. But, he supposed, as much as he hated to admit it, Erwin was one of his closest friends. And his hearty chuckle only exaggerated that fact.

Annoyingly.

“No. No I’m not. I’m not one to give such advice,” another silence settled between the two men, before Erwin spoke up again. “What would you like to do about this?” he asked, willing to let Levi have some say in how his ex lover was treated within the Scouts.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, how would you like to oversee her training? From what I’ve seen, she doesn’t respond well to… authority,” god, talking about this it was akin walking on a sleeping titan, not knowing what would suddenly jolt it awake enough to lunge and bite. This was more Hange’s field than anything, knowing Levi had a strange soft spot for the scientist. Not that he would ever admit it.

“No. I don’t think that’s a good idea. She’s… well… Yes, she’s difficult. And yes, she doesn’t like authority. And yes, she’s perfectly capable of kicking the shit out of any of us whilst eating a salad as she did it but she’s not impossible. You just have to know how to… work her,”

“Sounds like you do,”

“Watch it.”

“Apologies. That was inappropriate,” Levi could tell there was nothing apologetic about Erwin’s tone. And he couldn’t deny that it was rather funny, conveying his thoughts with a less spiteful eye roll.

Eyebrows’ eyebrows furrowed in thought, wondering who should survey your training, and who’s squad you should join after.

“I can have Miche take her through ODM maintenance, he should–”

“No point. She knows how those things work better than you or I. She was the one who sold to us,”

“Without your knowledge?” Levi stayed awkwardly quiet for a moment.

“She was wearing a mask…”

“Seriously?”

“It’s dark down there, okay? We couldn’t fucking see her face,” Levi spat, only adding to Erwin’s humerous disbelief. “Anyway, she doesn’t need to be taught that shit. She already knows it. She just needs to be taught how to use it. But she’s a fast learner. If she doesn’t surpass Miche’s kill count in her first two weeks I'll be extremely surprised,” Erwin smiled subtly as Levi kept singing your praises, seemingly unable to stop himself from aggressively gushing about how fantastic you were.

“You seem confident,”

“I am.”

“Why?” The question caught him off guard. Why? Because it was you. He was always confident when it came to you. He could always trust you with anything because he knew you.

Or… at least…

He did.

“Look, I know you’re usually the one asking me to trust you, but just this once, trust me,” Erwin had already made the decision to trust Levi on this one. He seemed to know you better than anyone, even if he had just avoided the question.

“I was going to anyway, but alright. Miche for ODM, Hange for titan theory–”

“Terrible idea, but continue,”

“And she can join the rest of the soldiers for hand to hand. Does that suit you?” Levi couldn’t quite understand why Erwin was being so lenient with this.

“I don’t give you orders. If that’s how it is, that’s how it’ll be,” the raven haired man folded his arms once again, leaning back in his chair.

“Levi, I’m trying to be accommodating about this,” Erwin huffed, growing ever more tired with the Captain’s attitude.

“Why? Just treat her like any other cadet,”

“Honestly? Because I don’t want you to be in a constant foul mood if something goes wrong with her training,” Levi scoffed, averting his eyes from Erwin.

“Fine. Yes, that suits me. Whether it’ll suit her or not… that’s a different question altogether,” Levi’s subtle, fond smile didn’t escape Erwin’s ever-searching gaze, the man picking up on all of Levi’s tells.

“Very well. She can join Captain Francis’ squad as a temporary fix until we see where she would fit in–”

“That man’s a waste of air and you know it,” Levi really was behaving like a petulant child, huffing and folding his arms with every idea he disagreed with.

“Whilst yes, I agree with you, he’s also another Captain. You should probably treat him like one,”

“I don’t see him here with us, do you?”

“Levi…” Erwin warned lowly. Though he did sometimes enjoy the smaller man’s sarcastic quips, now wasn’t the time for such things. Before Levi could respond to the warning however, Erwin continued swiftly. “So, you’ll oversee her training?”

“Didn’t I just say that was a bad idea?”

“I find myself disagreeing with you.”

“Tch, fine. ``We done here?” he asked, tapping his foot impatiently as if he’d been waiting to ask that question throughout their entire meeting. Erwin sighed, trying so hard not to roll his own eyes before nodding and waving a hand. But before Levi could even open the door, he was stopped.

“Levi… What's her name?” Erwin asked, peering at him as if he could see right through him. Levi’s expression softened, thinking back to when she asked him to refer to her with her name rather than her alias.

“(Y/N),” he spoke your name as if saying it any louder would shatter it, the delicacy in his tone so unlike the Levi Erwin had come to know. “But call her Raven until she tells you. Hate to say it, but you wouldn’t stand a chance if she decides you have a target on your back,” that alien fondness returned to Levi’s expression, as if he wasn’t talking about his ex lover possibly murdering his commander.

“I’ll take your word for it. Thank you Levi, for being honest with me. I know there’s more to say, but I'm sure you’d rather rest than talk to me about it,” the offer was there, Levi knew it was. He knew Erwin was offering to help sort through his thoughts with him, but he needed time to…

Adjust to this new normal.

So instead he hummed non-comitally and bid the Commander goodnight.

“Night Erwin, don’t strain yourself too hard thinking about this,” it was his way of saying he was grateful for Erwin’s support. Levi always had his own special way of saying things like this.

Erwin couldn’t respond before Levi was already closing the door behind him.

꧁ꨄ꧂

Warm shower. No, hot shower. Fuck it, scalding shower. Levi kept turning up the temperature, the showerhead gurgling with each twist. He usually found, when nothing else could calm his nerves or soothe his head, a scalding shower and a hot tea worked the trick. But every part of him was alight tonight. His body, his mind.

His heart and soul.

His entire being crackled with some sort of energy he hadn’t felt in a while. He recognised it. Of course he did. It was the same energy he’d feel whenever you’d return home from your strange trips away, which he now knew was Viper teaching you how to survive. Was that how you knew how to stitch his wound that night? Was that how you knew how to effectively apply a bandage, how to suture and sew? That night when he’d stumbled through the door to find the house empty. When he’d sat at the table, silently begging you to come back just so he could see you again. Just so he would stop worrying.

That night when he’d first kissed you.

There were a lot of firsts that night, he remembered fondly. The first kiss, the first touch. The first time he’d heard you moan his name. The first time he moaned yours.

The first time he’d felt such utter pleasure, when your tongue swirled around his tip and your lips lapped at his vein. When your throat massaged his length and he spilled into your mouth.

The first time he’d tasted you, delicately kissing your swollen folds and listening to you unravel above him. Your breathy whines playing on repeat in his head.

The first time you two were joined, closer than you’d ever been before.

Gradually, the shower became far, far too hot. Looking down, Levi could both see and feel the result of his little nostalgia trip. The small whimper of his name in the cell had unlocked a torrent of repressed urges that now sprang to light.

In more ways than one.

It was wrong. It was so, so wrong. You were a mere husk of who you were. You were damaged, fractured. Spiderwebbed cracks lined your mind, threatening to shatter and yet, no matter how far down he turned the shower temperature, no matter how much cold water splashed against his toned back, images of your ecstasy creased face still flashed in his mind, his length only hardening further the longer he left it.

“Damnit…” he muttered with a heavy sigh, before wrapping his hand around his cock and slowly fucking into his fist. His hips bucked involuntarily, having not done this in quite a while now. Levi ran his thumb over that prominent vein, remembering how your hot mouth would suckle kisses along the underside. A low moan escaped his throat, lost down the drain along with the filthy cold water.

He lathered his precum over his sensitive tip, hissing at the friction as he began to pump faster, boney knuckles gripping tighter as he neared his high. His hand didn’t feel like his own. There were no rough callouses on his palms, but rather they were softer. Daintier. Smaller. He couldn’t stop his imagination running wild as he thought of you jerking him off, that playful, fox-like smile pulling at your lips whenever his back arched or his hips bucked.

“Fuck…” he groaned, fucking into his fist with renewed vigor, his balls tightening as he felt his release wash through his body, mouth falling open. Throwing his head back, Levi thrusted his hips into his grip as ropes of white seed spilled from his tip, seeping through his fingers.

He braced his arm against the white tiled wall, watching the water wash away his ivory sins as his cock softened in his hand. Guilt punctured his afterglow, self hatred a constant accomplice as he turned the temperature back up to boiling, hissing as the lava scalded his back, staining his skin an angry red. He wouldn’t have tea after this. He wouldn’t carefully dry himself off, or sit at his desk and stave away sleep.

He would collapse amongst the unused duvet and pillows of his bed, and hope his nightmares carry him to retribution.

[thinkingisadangerouspastime]

what do you think about people saying aang and katara wouldn't work because katara has abandonment issues and aang first instinct is always to run away / flee? (you don't need to answer if you dont want to ofc)

I’ve been pondering over this ask for a few weeks now (I think it’s been a few weeks? Time is a lie and I’m bad at answering asks in order lmao) and honestly, anon? I don’t think it’s worth it for any of us to acknowledge this particular rhetoric regarding Kataang’s relationship. Why? Because it’s a perfect example of a bad faith argument. People who offer up this as “evidence” that Aang and Katara wouldn’t work romantically do not care that what they are saying is untrue. Thus, they are not seeking to find compromise or common ground, and you shouldn’t feel bothered to entertain them.

Like, let’s be real. Aang runs away a grand total of… twice in the show? Once technically prior to the present storyline itself? Correct me if I’m wrong in my counting, of course! But I cannot think of any time Aang runs away that a) happens outside of Book 1, b) he doesn’t accept the consequences of and/or impose unnecessary guilt on himself, c) is in regard to his relationship with Katara. To my knowledge, Aang ran away:

Pre-canon, fearing separation from Gyatso because of his status as the Avatar (provided in a flashback in “The Storm”)

From the fisherman’s criticism that is ultimately linked to the same issue as above (which makes sense, because this instance also occurs in “The Storm”)

I suppose a case could be made that Aang was “running away” post-DoBS when he temporarily delays getting a firebending teacher, but like. Extenuating circumstances (he blames himself for the mission’s failure and for their friends’ capture, not to mention he’s back at an empty Air Temple - intense mixed feelings, you know?). Also, it’s not like he “runs away” once Zuko becomes his teacher, and in fact Aang both very eagerly accompanies him to the Sun Warrior “ruins” and is the one to originally allude to why Zuko’s firebending is off in the first place (“Maybe your firebending comes from rage and you just don’t have enough anger to fuel it the way you used to”). So I find it hard to categorize this instance as “running away” when arguably it falls more in line with hey, Aang was stressed and guilty and re-encountering memories of his people, so it’s not exactly a surprise he needed a moment to himself.

Furthermore: I also do not count Aang “running away” in the Book 3 premiere because to me, it’s pretty clear Aang was actually running towards his responsibilities as the Avatar there both out of obligation and to grapple with what he deems his own failure (running towards his responsibilities too soon, as it happens, hence why he reunites with his friends after the fact). I also don’t count his “running away” in the series finale with the Lion Turtle because he was a) clearly in some kind of trance jfc and b) again, he was trying to face his responsibilities as the Avatar. Literally the opposite of running away and also entirely out of his control because yk. Spirit World powers, lol.

So Aang ran away twice, thrice if one is feeling really harsh. Even taking into consideration the latter two examples (that again are really not him running away), it’s clear that none of his motives are ever related to Katara. It’s always about his being the Avatar. Fearing his duties, accepting his duties, facing his duties, etc. etc. So trying to overlay that theme with his and Katara’s affections for each other seems pretty nonsensical, lol. And besides - a major part of Aang’s arc is him reconciling that he is both the Avatar and the last airbender. His transition from running away to running towards (to kind of meeting in the middle) these parts of himself is demonstrative of his growth as a character. Like,, sorry Aang has solid and nuanced development??

In other words, there is no canon basis to the idea that Aang’s “first instinct” is always to run away. Yes, he runs away a couple times, but it’s never related to Katara and is only a significant struggle for him in the early days of Book 1. Thus, when people try to use it as “evidence” against Kataang, it’s a clear red flag that they don’t care about taking canon at its own merit. They simply prefer fanon. To each their own, ofc! But again - watch out for the bad faith argument. Ain’t worth your time.

Regarding Katara’s “abandonment issues”: I don’t think it’s untrue to say that Katara struggles with people leaving her, and she definitely struggles with Aang’s brief disappearance in the Book 3 premiere (also related to how her father had to leave during the war). But Aang proves time and time again that he always comes back to her. To name a few: they reunite at the end of “The Awakening.” Aang returned to her after the Siege of the North (Koizilla, lol). Aang came to find her in CoD. Aang found and helped in her “The Painted Lady.” When Aang disappears during the series finale, Katara trusts - even though she is understandably anxious - that he will return to defeat Ozai and that he will succeed (“Aang won’t lose. He’s gonna come back”). So it’s clear Katara doesn’t see Aang as a “flight risk,” lmao - why should the fandom? Once again, it all returns to the notion of bad faith. People who adamantly believe in the rhetoric you present, anon, do not care about canon, which in itself is totally fine, but it is oftentimes important to distinguish between canon and fanon. If someone outright refuses to do that - major red flag.

In sum: this argument is 99% of the time not worth engaging because it is a blatant misinterpretation of canon. We all have better things to do! (Like prepping for Kataang Week, am I right?)

[sarahdraws-sometimes]

Hello, so I cannot stress this enough.

It's.. no surprise that I'm a Pale King liker. My blog has (kind of?) been centered around him since the beginning, when I decided to sell my soul and make a Tumblr page.

Apparently, there is a very... Unique and small side of the Hollow Knight fanbase who believes that the Pale King is simply 'misunderstood', and tries to justify his actions/put down other characters to make him look nicer than he truly was, just as a 'reason' to like him.

I'm going to say it right now, this is not me. And if you are like this, then you are on thin fucking ice.

.

I like the Pale King simply for what we know about him that fits with the canon of the story. The Pale King is a figure who was praised by many bugs, however he is not what he seemed, and was doing many questionable things behind the scenes to get rid of the infection, and the Radiance. It is very fun to play with his character, and come up with many interpretations for his character. That is what I enjoy him for.

However, interpretations are just that. They aren't canonical by any means. And... Yeah, I am guilty of having a couple headcanons about tpk that is positive, in a way. But never, would I ever try to convince others that tpk is something that he is not. My headcanons are not intended to clash with canon, nor are they intended to appear canonical, if they even do. I just try and think of certain situations in a different light. Y'know, for fun, and nothing more than that.

What the point of this entire post is, is that... Apparently, people are trying to justify his actions, or just downright denying canon, for the sole reason to make tpk look "not as bad" in comparison to other morally grey characters within the Hollow Knight universe. This is NOT what I intend to do with any of my posts that even remotely sheds any positive light onto a very very dark and complex character such as him. I do NOT understand those who are putting down characters like the Radiance, and just making up random bullshit about her, and fuck it, even making up shit about the Pale King, just so there's a 'good' reason to like him.

Guys, there is literally nothing wrong with accepting the faults of a character you enjoy. Why the fuck are we making shit up about this game's canon, just so we can enjoy a character as twisted as the Pale King? The Pale King is already interesting on his own, as a very mysterious character with a LOT of responsibility and power in his hands. There is no other character in the world of Hollow Knight as influential to the story as the Pale King. That alone is enough reason for me to enjoy his character. Why are these particular few trying to convince the rest of the fanbase that the Pale King basically did nothing wrong, that he's misunderstood, and that other characters are awful and just as bad as him, JUST so you can like him? Because at that point, you don't even like the Pale King, you like a very altered version of him in a universe that simply is not canonical in any sense. It's just nonsense. And no, there truly is no wrong in having your headcanons, no matter how much they clash with canon. But when you alter and change a charcater, and OTHER characters THIS much, just to make your fav seem like a better person they really are, and try to convince your following that he is a good person, then what the fuck are you doing?

And, AUs are perfectly fine! If you have an AU that flips the canon for fun, then good on you. I have a ton of AU ideas always rattling in my head, most of them fuck around with hk's canon because why not? But if you are gonna sit there and tell me that, canonically, the Pale King was not a bad person, then what the fuck. That's just you misleading your audience.

YOU CAN LIKE A VILLAIN WITHOUT FEELING THE NEED TO JUSTIFY THEIR ACTIONS. JFC GUYS. THEY ARE VILLAINS FOR A REASON. The Pale King is an AWFUL, piece of shit person, that simply has ZERO redeeming qualities. And to me, that's quite alright. The fact that he is so villainous, yet praised by some blind bugs in Hallownest, is all I need to love his character.

The fact that I feel the need to even make this post after disappearing for MONTHS says quite a bit about how upset this shit makes me. It's incredibly embarrassing for me to know that other Pale King likers try and justify his actions rather than just accepting him as a villain. Just. Like the Pale King for what he is, and not what you WANT him to be.

That's all. I'm pinning this post because I don't want this to get buried as I plan to start posting more HK artwork again.

Edit; I know I've "defended" tpk in the past, but that was just more of me trying to get my original interpretations of him out there rather than actually justifying his actions. I wrote that awhile ago and even partially disagree with stuff I said (for example, the 'he cared for his people', especially considering it was a rather weak point anyway). And as I just said, it was mostly just interpretations, filling in the gaps with things we simply don't know much about. The plot of hk is incredibly vague to the point where the backstory could be viewed from multiple angles, thus the post. It was a pretty weak post overall and I hate that its still being spread around. If you were introduced to this blog because of that post then I am deeply sorry. If I knew a lot of PK enjoyers acted this way then I wouldn't have had the balls to post that lolol ok. edit over