#jimmy valmer hcs

[starkspondwater]

Hii, hope you're doing well

If you're willing to write it, could I maybe get some hcs of Jimmy as a dad? The return of my obsession for this show is hitting me like a 90mph brick to the face and I love the way you write him <3

I'm doing well! Work and life have gotten a little busy but I'm getting through it!

And thank you!!! I try to write him well, I just adore him!! I hope you like my hcs for him!

Jimmy Valmer as a Dad HCs

💛I'd like to really begin this by saying I hc Jimmy as someone who is GREAT with kids. After a childhood attending Lake Tardicaca, he went on to eventually work there as a counselor in the summers. He knows how to handle kiddos with an ease and humor that endears them to him almost immediately.

💛Jimmy comes off to me like someone who isn't a boy dad or a girl dad, just a straight up DAD

💛I picture him eventually have two little ones, a boy and girl each. The thought of his kids having a built in best friend always seemed so appealing, so why not make that a reality! (Though he's not going to complain if two turns into three or four)

💛Unplanned and very much wanted. The first baby was definitely a surprise in the sense that no actual trying had been happening. Jimmy had joked about kids before but no big huge conversation had taken place. Despite this he was over the moon excited- do you know how many dad jokes he has had just saved up for this??

💛He handles the whole thing with grace, almost like he was kind of made for it. Cravings, mood swings, the complaints of enlarged ankles, all of it he takes in stride and somehow turns them into something positive!

💛Going with the hc that Jimmy has cerebral palsy, there were questions from others outside your close circle if such a thing would pass down to your kids. It's an annoying question that time and time again you have to explain that no, it is not hereditary, and yes, even if it were it would be a non issue. Throughout the show Jimmy has a positive outlook on his disability and I see him having no problems educating others on it, at the very least so that sort of ignorance doesn't spread

💛Speaking of his disability, there is no question that it doesn't stop him from playing with his children. Having had to learn to maneuver himself for rough play in his childhood, dealing with those much smaller than him is not a problem. He's hands on and nothing is going to get in the way of that.

💛That being said, you cannot convince me that his children wouldn't be into pranks. He is going to lovingly refer to them as little shits when they hide his crutches for the fifth time that week in an attempt to keep playing outside. To be honest, he is fully aware of where they "hid" them (under the couch) and how to get them, but their little giggles at getting one over on him are enough to keep him sat down and "grumbling"

💛Fun and somewhat lenient dad. He's down for goofs and laughs, and is willing to let his children get away with certain things, but when he puts his foot down he means business. No means no and those kids are well aware of that.

💛Big birthday party energy. He is planning the best parties with only the best entertainment: him. Just kidding! That only works for the first few years when its mostly the adults hanging out but once the youngsters get a bit older he does plan some more fitting things. However, he is still decked out in his "party" gear- a fun suit and tie and lights wrapped around his arm braces!

💛Will include his children in his comedy sets, somehow, someway. It started out as funny anecdotes that he just couldn't help but share but over time did include them coming out onto the stage for their own little bits. Even if his children aren't good with jokes, he would still love to encourage and show off the small talents they do have.

💛Overall, I see Jimmy Valmer as someone who gladly embraces fatherhood like he was made for it. He will roll with the punches as they come, whether its tantrums, sick nights, full on teenage arguments, or even a bad boyfriend he doesn't like. He's got it in the bag

[tecchouism]

Gh. Those guys

[dollyyss]

stop stop bc bc bc bc um um um.

maybe u should do hpw craigs gang kisses you. maybe

~🍋

Because I love you, and I was thinking of Craig and remembered I had this in my inbox.

Also I promise I’ll get requests done I post once or twice sometimes Daily so I do what I can! But please feel free to bring requests in!!

┌── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┐

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

𝘾𝙍𝘼𝙄𝙂𝙎 𝙂𝘼𝙉𝙂 𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝙃𝙊𝙒 𝙏𝙃𝙀𝙔 𝙆𝙄𝙎𝙎

𝙀𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥

𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙜𝙚𝙙 𝙪𝙥! 𝙃𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙨𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙤𝙡 𝘼𝙐

𝘾𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙜, 𝘾𝙡𝙮𝙙𝙚, 𝙅𝙞𝙢𝙢𝙮, 𝙏𝙤𝙡𝙠𝙞𝙚𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙏𝙬𝙚𝙖𝙠

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: not really aware of any, if there is please let me know!

└── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┘

Craig ⊹★🔭๋࣭ ⋆｡˚

Craig leans into the kiss, he subtly brushes his thumb against the back of your hand, creating a tender connection beyond the physical act of kissing. It adds a sweet and personalized touch to the moment, expressing his deeper connection without saying it. one he just doesn’t do far too often.

-His kisses tend to be quick. Just pecks to your lips or the sides of your cheeks.

-I think there’s a part of him that’s a bit.. afraid to fully go in for it? He doesn’t want to kiss you just to kiss you, he wants to kiss you to.. explore that whole side of his love for you. But he doesn’t want to overdue it.

-Though.. when he does go in for it, his hands are holding onto you for dear life, as if he’s afraid you’ll pull away from him. He becomes more confident in himself, pressing himself against you, his nose a bit squished against you.. your like some drug he can’t stop. Filling him with a buzz he can’t come down from. When like this he occasionally bites at your bottom lip, softly pulling when he stops the kiss.

- Never a huge one to do it outside ever or in public, and if he does they aren’t on the lips. They’re on the top of your head, quick swift kisses.

-He’s the same when not in public as well, except he’s more then okay with giving you them when you both are alone. So it’ll tend to happen more often then.

Clyde

In the quiet intimacy of a moonlit night, Clyde’s letterman Jacket had been hung on your shoulders, eyes wandering as he leaned in, his eyes locking onto yours. The air hummed with unspoken words as his lips met yours, creating an overwhelming feeling of the weight of a thousand untold stories in that stolen kiss. “You taste good.” With a soft shove he let out a blissful laugh, “Clyde you are so stupid.”

“Stupid enough for you to kiss again?”

- he’s quite the kisser. Will take any god damn kiss he’ll get. I’m telling you he’ll pout like a mother fucker if he doesn’t get it. He thinks your lips are so fucking sweet, so addicting.

-his normal kisses are always on your lips. Yes occasionally he’ll kiss elsewhere but he loves how soft your lips are, how they fit so perfectly with his. If he could kiss you a million times he would, never wanting to pull away.

-Clyde is completely okay with PDA. So kisses in public? 100%. He wants everyone to know you’re his. His arm will be hung around your shoulder whilst he talks to one of his friends. He’ll press a kiss to the side of your head every now and then, sometimes pulling your chin to look up at him and placing a kiss to your lips.

- He can be needy. When things are heated there’s no getting Clyde Donovan off of you. He’s pushing you back against his bed, lips locked while his hands roam underneath your shirt with curiosity. He won’t stop for air, I’m telling you. He’s desperate for you.

Jimmy

With an unexpected twist of humor, Jimmy seized the moment, pulling you into a spontaneous dance of laughter. Amidst giggles, he planted a playful, yet surprisingly genuine kiss, turning a lighthearted exchange into a memory where joy and affection collided in a delightful, whimsical symphony

- Oh Jimmy. That sweet sweet boy. He loves you tremendously. He likes to kiss you wherever! But his personal favourite is your nose. He loves whenever he makes a joke.. you laugh so hard your nose turns pink. He can’t help himself but plant a kiss to it, making you giggle even more.

- he’s okay with kissing in public, but he’s more then happy to share these moments at home. Though,, if you ever have a really shitty day at school, you have a panic attack.. anything. Text him. He’s immediately getting up from his seat and coming to your aid. Once he finds you, his crutches are against the wall and he’s sliding down the wall to sit, ushering you over to sit between his legs. Your face is littered in kisses, occasionally your lips.

- When moments become more intimate they tend to be a bit silly, his lips move at such a sloppy rate, his hairs a mess. Occasionally your teeth clink against his braces and he can’t help but laugh with you before diving back in. He’s gentle, but also likes to get what he wants so he does put quite a bit of force to it.

-he can be a goofy kisser…. He once puckered his lips for you to give him one.. just for him to blow a raspberry and piss himself laughing at your face..

Tolkien

In the soft ambiance of a candlelit evening, he held out his hand, a silent invitation to a dance that transcended mere steps. With a courteous smile, he led you through the waltz of shared glances and whispered conversations. Finally, in a moment of undeniable sincerity, he pressed a gentle kiss upon your hand, leaving an indelible mark on your pumping heart.

- stop because he’s so god damn loving. We know Tolkien to be quite the gentleman, he’s constantly kissing at your knuckles, your hands and up your arms. He’s like Clyde, he just can’t seem to keep his lips off of you. It doesn’t matter where.

-you’re sitting on his lap while his lips dance over your chin and jaw, sitting beside him class? He’s gripping your hand and placing a gentle kiss to it, crying? He’s kissing those tears away. You took a nap on his bed, he’s finding his way over and placing a kiss to your head and tucking you in.

-he’s more then okay with it in public. You don’t have to ask him please, he’s delighted to have your lips on him, he wants to show people he’s happy in his relationship.

-He’s quite good at it, he knows when to be rough, when to be soft, when to pull away to leave you wanting more.. and he uses this so often to tease you whilst your body sits on his lap facing him, a chuckle escaping his lips before he kisses your neck..

Tweak

Amidst the whirlwind of nervous thoughts, he took a deep breath, his anxious gaze meeting your understanding ones. In that vulnerable moment, he mustered the courage to bridge the gap, and as your lips met, a quiet reassurance unfolded—a kiss that spoke of shared vulnerabilities and the solace found in each other's presence.

-He’s so scared to do it wrong. He’s so scared to push forwards, to place his hands literally anywhere. What if you didn’t like it? What if you didn’t want his kiss? “Tweak my love, right here..” he melts when you place your hands on his to guide him. Once you’ve done it, he’s confident enough to place shaky lips on yours.

-He likes kissing your jaw, and lips. Your jaw being because he enjoys being able to hide his away, peppering kisses to your jaw while he takes in the scent of your hair. It’s soothing to him. And your lips because they’re so warm. If he’s ever just not able to calm himself he’s looking for you immediately to press his lips to yours, soon hiding his face and littering kisses all along your jaw.

-He’s typically not the one to act out on kissing in public but if you do it to him he doesn’t mind it. Just try not to in a group of people, not that he’s embarrassed of you but more embarrassed that people could stare at what he believes is a sweet intimate moment.

- hi. He’s whiny when he kisses. Because I said so. He doesn’t like when you pull back, he grips your shirt muttering out a shaky whine and almost begging you for you to come back. His eyes are half lidded, lips quivering while his hands find anyway to bring you closer. “No! You can’t just.. pull away from me like that, agh! I need you..”

- Needy. Whiny kisser. I love him.

[sp-by-april]

Who of Stan's gang+craigs gang would want/end up having kids?

Ooh, I love this question. Let's dig in!

Kids or No Kids? Let's find out!

💙 Stan is too scared to have kids. He doesn't wanna be his dad.

🧡 Kenny has the same fears but occassionally gets lax with condoms/birth control and it happens anyway. He's a total girl-dad. (IYKYK)

💚 Kyle wants a family. He's a total family guy, even when he was a kid. He wants to build a life with someone, have something worth protecting.

💔 Cartman wants kids he can use as bargaining chips to control and lock down his partner. He's not interested in actually being a parent.

💜 Tolkien wants kids and has the means to take care of them. He's gonna be a great dad.

💛 Jimmy says he's down for whatever, but lowkey wants kids. He's got all the dad jokes locked and loaded.

🖤 Craig is kid-neutral, but his instinct is to resist. They're loud, messy, and he hates that society expects people to have kids. The defiant streak in him is prone to resisting such forced expectations.

🤎 Tweek wants kids but is terrified. They're a constant source of anxiety. What if there's a problem with the birth? What if they bump their head? What if they buy the wrong crib? What if, what if, what if...

[fennecfiree]

South park sleeping headcanons cuz I'm bored AF

Stan - he sleeps on his side, he rolls over a bit in his sleep and shit, doesn't really snore

Cartman - the most annoying little shit. He definitely hogs the blanket and takes up as much space as possible during sleepovers, and he probably sleeps on his back, snores a lot. Also sleeps with all his stuffed animals surrounding him

Kyle - sleeps on his back, snores a little bit, he moves around a lot in his sleep, like he'll be on his back with the blanket all on his body in the night, then in the morning he's on his side with the blanket fully off of him (based off of me LMAO)

Kenny - this fucking shit sleeps on his stomach, with his head in the pillow, he dies in his sleep a lot

Butters - sleeps on his side, he always has to hug something, a pillow, a stuffed animal, or a fucking human. Lmao. He also drools a bit

Tweek - can't even sleep

Craig - sleeps on his side, he talks in his sleep sometimes. Oh he also is a fucking weirdo and sleeps with no blanket

Clyde - similar to Kyle, Sleeps on his back, snores, moves around a lot

Jimmy - sleeps on his back, probably hugs something, usually a stuffed animal, I imagine it being something reallllyy stupid like a fucking skibidi toilet plushie

Tolkien - sleeps on his side, the most normal out these guys. He's just very peaceful

[voltaridylla]

Hi hi sketch dump of this AU in my head 😞 Stan Marsh is divorced and struggling but he’s just trying to do better and clean up his act for his daughter. Super wholesome and I have hcs for all of these kids. I’ll probably create more bc I shed a tear from cuteness overload. <3

Also some bonus sketches tah dah 😰

[everythingwasnormalhere]

been thinking about chronic pain kenny this morning

about how on bad pain days butters will cuddle him until he feels better

about how when he eventually gets mobility aids, jimmy suggests him to decorate them, and they go buy stickers together

about kenny saying "i fell" about his bruises, everyone thinking it's an excuse for abuse, but he did indeed fall

about kyle and stan standing up for him against cartman

about his friends accomodating him and helping him out whenever he needs it

about his siblings staying with him on bad days when butters can't

about him not getting better, but slowly becoming a lot happier and getting the support he deserves<3

[southparkhcs]

🚸 South Park HC's:

— Our tumblr page, as it's name says, will post South Park headcanons about the characters every day! Our headcanons will be shared as:

• Text (phrases, ideas, scenarios...).

• Short dialogues.

• Sketches.

• Playlists.

• Edits/moodboards.

• ...and much more!

— We can also share your headcanon too! You can choose if you want to receive credits or if you want to stay anonymous by selecting when send us the ask, right below our bio.

* obs. it's important to say that we don't respost or even tolerate:

• Hateful headcanons (misogynistic, homophobic, transphobic, racist, etc...)

• Problematic headcanons (S.A., incest, pedophilia, etc...).

• Sex headcanons.

• Proships in general.

• Literally any problematic stuff...

— We're not here to judge or block anyone, everyone can enjoy our page — even those who aren't really part of the age rating of the show. Minors can interact with the account, but, those who are 16-, please be very careful with who you interact in the net or in the fandom and the contents that you are consuming. Stay safe.

— Well, still tho, not everyone is welcome here. Please do not interact if you're okay with any kind of discrimination or with most of the list above the previous paragraph.

— And if you're just against headcanons in general, bro, what are you even doing here? Stop being obsessed, it even, breaks your algorithm, you dumbass. Let people have fun and just ignore it, scroll down or block the account if you don't like it.

· ⚠️ Warning!

— Our headcanons for the characters will mainly be about themselves, or about their friendships and family, but it may contain our main ships, because we can, we're a bit biased and we're not very multishipper. So sometimes we will make content of:

• Style (Stan x Kyle).

• Crenny (Craig x Kenny).

• Candy (Cartman x Wendy).

• Bratters/B2 (Bradley x Butters).

• Petweek (Pete x Tweek).

• Clymmy (Clyde x Jimmy).

• Tolkole/Blaniels (Tolkien x Nichole).

• BeRed (Bebe x Red).

• Heidietta (Heidi x Henrietta).

• M2 (Michael x Mike).

• Dip (Damien x Pip).

• Gregstophe (Gregory x Christophe).

• And many others...

— You don't wanna pass hours trying to find the content about your favorite character? Easy! By clicking on the 🔍 right above our pfp, you'll find tags of the four main groups: The Boys, Craig's Gang, The Girls, Goth Kids and The Foreign Kids, each character of all these groups will have their own tag, unfortunately, we can't tag more then 24 characters, so if you wanna find content about any other character besides them, you'll need to find by yourself.

💭 MEET THE ADMS!

— Here, we choose to stay anonymous and mysterious for a while. But, we would like to introduce ourselves so we can interact with you! You can recognize us by our emojis.

🐦‍🔥: he/him — 18y

A normal guy — internally excentric, very passionate 'bout things, considerably chill, be having a few loose screws. Loves birds, 2000s fashion, night-time skies, race karts and hip-hop, rock and jazz music.

🦚: he/him — 18y

May i introduce me as kyle broflovski himself but made by light academia and grandfather clothes from thrift stores, peach tea, elephant gun & a sociology passion. Also my dog's name is Stan!

We hope you enjoy our page!

🐦‍🔥 🦚.

[cloudy-skyes]

yo can we get some jimmy valmer x reader fluff?

-🔥 anon

Jimmy Fluff Headcanons

Notes: Yippee a new anon! Enjoy my silly little rambles about Jimmy :)

Warnings: None, only fluff here!

Relationship: Established romantic relationship

Gender: Gender neutral, no pronouns mentioned

To start this off, Jimmy loveesss telling jokes to you. It started with his typical one liner jokes, and when he started to like you more, he used jokes as a way to flirt. His jokes started to become romantic with you and would leave you all flustered.

Jimmy and you often have nights where you spend time at his house and watch comedy movies together. You lay on the couch together, a bowl of popcorn and snacks between you two to share. You both like judging the jokes told in the movie

He likes repeating the jokes that you guys found funny on your movie nights to you when you’re hanging out with him. He likes making everyone laugh, but the sound of your laughter is his favorite, so he takes any opportunity he can to get you to chuckle.

You also have gossip sessions with each other when you go over the latest drama in South Park and talk shit about the people involved. Jimmy is very blunt about people and he doesn’t really have a filter, so he’s one of your favorite people to gossip with.

I don’t think Jimmy is huge on physical affection. Instead, he shows his love for you with words. He tells you sappy jokes, and constantly compliments you. He loves telling you how much he loves you every time you hang out with cheesy romantic sayings <3

[razzle-zazzle]

How to Ruin a Guy's Life in Three Easy Steps

5666 Words; Prologue - Tweek Tweak Did Nothing Wrong

TW for murder mention

AO3 ver

“You might as well go jump in a dumpster, it’ll accomplish just as much!”

“Maybe I will!” Tweek shrieks back, letting go of Craig’s collar to shove at him instead. “And maybe I’ll find a—ngh—a better boyfriend in there, too!” He’s not even entirely sure what he’s saying, at this point, white-hot rage clouding his vision and words. His finger jabs mercilessly at Craig’s chest with every word, lips drawn back in a snarl that wouldn’t be out of place on a rabid dog. Tweek can’t remember how the argument even started, really, or how it got going—all he knows is that Craig is being a bitch about everything and everything is fucked. Like always!

Craig’s arms finally uncross, eyes wide and lips twitching. Were it not for the fury coursing through his veins, the unbridled rage in Craig’s expression would have given Tweek pause. Almost.

“If you think I’m trash,” Craig’s voice is soft, low, then suddenly: “WHY DON’T WE JUST BREAK UP?” His shout echoes across the cafeteria, but neither of them are paying any mind to their surroundings.

“Oh, like you wouldn’t be crawling back within the week!” They don’t usually fight like this, if at all. But talking it out wasn’t working, and one thing had led to another, and—well. Now Tweek can hardly think past the fact that he wants to strangle his idiot boyfriend.

“Wh—bold words coming from you!” Craig sputters, incredulous in the face of Tweek’s rage. It’s infuriating. It has Tweek twitching even worse, now, especially when Craig leans in close, dull green eyes like two algae-clogged pools. Is Tweek choking? He feels like he’s choking, drowning in all the too much it’s too much crashing around in his chest.

“AGH, just—FUCK OFF!” Tweek shoves Craig back. He can’t do this. Is his heart still beating? It’s too much. It’s all just too much pressure. “You don’t care, so why don’t you just leave?!”

“Maybe I will!” Craig’s already walking off, middle fingers extended. He sounds like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

“Good!” Tweek shouts back, nails digging into his palms, “And stay away!” He doesn’t feel much better.

“I will!” And then Craig’s out the door, and Tweek is left standing alone in the middle of the cafeteria, shaking and angry. He pants, slowly coming back into awareness of his surroundings. The rest of the cafeteria is quiet.

Ohhhhhhhhh god oh FUCK, what the hell did I just do—

The show’s over; one by one, the tables return to whatever they were talking about. Tweek can still feel so many eyes on him, from the underclassmen he barely knows to the cafeteria staff shamelessly watching from behind the counter. It’s too much. He wants to run—instead, he trudges over to their usual table, to the thermos he left on the table. Craig didn’t take his bag; it’s still sitting next to Tweek’s. Tweek yanks his own bag to his shoulder, away from Craig’s.

“Trouble in paradise, huh?” Clyde tries, voice wavering between sympathy and joviality, like he’s not sure if he should be making jokes about this.

“Save it.” Tweek grits out, gripping his thermos like a lifeline. He sits down; all at once, it crashes into him, and his forehead meets the table with a resounding thunk. “I can’t believe he—I—aeraughaghhhh.” Jesus fucking christ.

Jimmy and Tolkien don’t share a lunch hour with them, so it’s just Clyde and Tweek. Craig’s bag continues to occupy the empty seat at their favored little round table in the corner—no, wait, Clyde’s grabbing it. “Want me to go check on Craig?” He asks, the unspoken since you won’t stabbing directly into Tweek’s chest.

“I don’t care.” Tweek groans into his hands. “Do what you want, I’m—ckh—going home.” He can’t take this. The cafeteria is alive with conversation once again, but Tweek can still feel so many judging eyes on his back. He slings his bag over his shoulder, uncaps his thermos and takes a drink, and then heads straight for the door. He needs to not be here—his parents won’t be home, and nobody’s gonna give him shit for skipping if he’s at the coffee shop. So Tweek leaves, feeling wretched as he makes his retreat back home.

He feels eyes on his back the whole way there.

+=+=+=+=+

“I’ll take a tall caramel frappuccino with two pumps of vanilla.”

“Tall caramel frappe with two pumps vanilla.” Tweek nods, putting the order into the register. “Would you like anything else?”

The customer shakes her head. “That’ll be $6.39.” They put their card in, and Tweek grabs the cup he’ll be using. “Name?”

“Lesley with a y.” She says. “That’s L-E-S-L-E-Y.” The card reader dings.

“Right, thanks.” Tweek writes down her name and order on the cup while Lesley makes her way over to one of the tables to wait. He passes the cup off to Ron, who gets to putting it together while the next customer comes up.

It’s just after the morning rush, so not too busy, but still plenty to do. Which is just what Tweek needed, so he’s not complaining. He can’t handle school today, nor does he want to. Craig will be there, and Tweek can barely even think about him without feeling like he’s going to throw up. For all the… turbulence associated with the shop, there’s comfort in the familiar scents and sounds of the coffee and machinery—comfort that only comes from years of familiarity. Better to be annoyed by benign things like customers than to throw another shitfit at school. Probably.

The day goes by about as smoothly as it ever does in this place, order after order and customer after customer coming through for their daily or weekly fix. Ron takes his break right in the middle of the lunch rush, as usual, but it’s fine. Tweek can deal. He always does. It helps that his mother takes the register to talk to the customers.

It’s during the afternoon lull that Tweek takes the opportunity to slip into the back to grab another bag of coffee beans for the incoming after school rush. There’s an axe hanging on a peg in the back room, in case of emergencies. Tweek pays it no mind; it’s been there for years and it hasn’t seen much use. It’s really more the principle of the thing: the man who sleeps with a machete is a fool all nights but one, as the saying goes.

The day continues. The afterschool rush hits just after Ron clocks out and Tim clocks in. Tweek’s mother takes the register, and even Richard comes out of the office to keep things moving; it’s all hands on deck until all the high schoolers with money to spend get their fix of pastries and trendy drinks—it’s pumpkin spice season, with gingerbread right around the corner. It’s nowhere near as bad as the morning rush, but so many of his peers show up that Tweek has to fight the urge to go hide in the back.

Craig doesn’t show—not that Tweek expected him to. Maybe some part of him had hoped, but—no. Craig’s stubborn. And Tweek doesn’t want to see him right now anyway—he doesn’t have the wherewithal to clean up whatever complicated snarl of emotions he’ll vomit out the next time he sees that asshole.

Things wind down. Richard goes to the drive through. Tweek’s mother steps out to attend her weekly book club meeting. Tim goes on break, and Tweek grabs a rag to wipe down the counter with. At this hour, the shop is a ghost town.

…or maybe not. A customer comes in, coming to a stop in front of the register, sneaker tap-tap-tapping on the tile. He looks to be about Tweek’s age, though Tweek can’t remember his name—do they share any classes? Tweek doesn’t think so. Though, the guy is kinda plain-looking, shaggy brown hair not that different from a hundred other guys Tweek sees at school.

“Hi, welcome to Tweak Bros’ Coffee!” Tweek greets, setting the rag down to take his place behind the register. He flashes the best smile he can manage—ah, he must still be off from the whole thing, because now the customer’s frowning. “What can I get for you today?”

“A white caramel mocha.” He says, eyes fixed on Tweek. Tweek goes to input the order—

“And what size will that be?” He keeps his eyes on the screen. Something about the guy’s stare is unnerving him.

“I dunno, a medium?” The guy shrugs, scuffing his shoe on the floor.

Tweek inputs the order. “Will that be all for you today?” A nervous grin crawls onto his face. Is his face twitching? It better not be.

“Yeah, sure, whatever.” The guy shoves a twenty at Tweek’s chest, and Tweek pops open the register to give the guy his change.

“Name?” Tweek asks, grabbing a cup and marker.

The guy glares harder. Tweek’s eye is definitely twitching. What is wrong with this guy? Whatever bad day he’s having, Tweek did not ask to bear the brunt of it!

“Adam.” He sneers, then continues to stand there.

“Okay, thanks.” Tweek gets to work. He passes the mocha over to Adam, who slouches over to one of the tables. Ha! Successful interaction! Tweek grabs the rag to get back to wiping down the counter—

Adam’s cup slams against the counter. He’s leaning forwards, mouth pulled back in a sneer as he stares Tweek down. “This isn’t white.”

Um… what? “You ordered a medium caramel mocha?” Tweek’s pretty sure he made it right—and the order’s still on the register, so Tweek at least knows what Adam paid for. “Do you want me to remake it?” The last time Tweek made a drink wrong was two years ago—he’d been panicking over upcoming finals, and Richard had had to send him to break to calm down. Maybe the fight with Craig had affected Tweek worse that he thought—but he’d been doing so well today—

“No, see, that’s—” Adam gestures, “There’s coffee in it. I wanted white.”

Tweek flounders. As patiently as he can manage, he explains, “Mochas come with—tch—espresso.” Shit, no, he’s ticcing, now Adam’s gonna think he’s some kind of freak—

Adam crosses his arms. “Well, I don’t want any fancy espresso. I want white.”

Then why did you order a mocha?!

No, no, Tweek can do this. “That’s just a hot chocolate.” He points out, totally not twisting the rag in his hands. “Look, man, do you want me to refund the mocha and charge you a hot chocolate instead? It’ll be cheaper.” He’s pretty sure he’s never seen Adam here before, so chances are the guy just didn’t know. Yeah. Tweek can be civil, he’s great at civil! The best!

“I’m not asking for a hot chocolate.” Adam smacks his hand against the counter. “I want a white caramel mocha.”

“With no espresso?” Tweek asks, just to clarify. “And you don’t want to be charged for a hot chocolate?” It’s cheaper!

“Ugh, just get me a manager.” Adam grouses. “You clearly don’t know what you’re doing.”

“Sure!” Tweek’s going to burst. He’s going to burst into a nervous explosion and they’ll be cleaning up bits of him for days. First the fight with Craig, and now this? What does the world have against him all of a sudden?! Would it kill the universe to be nice for once?

Richard’s already come over, curious about the commotion. At Adam’s demand, he steps forwards, smoothly laying down reassurances and platitudes while Tweek slips into the back.

“Bad customer?” Tim asks, looking up from his phone just long enough to acknowledge Tweek’s presence.

“HnnnnnnhrnnrghrghnghnnghraaAAAAAGHHHHH.” Is all Tweek can manage in response. His whole body feels alight, his chest twisting in on itself. His hands drift to his hair; he starts tugging the straps of his apron instead. The worst part is that that’s not even the worst customer interaction he’s had! And he’ll probably have even worse in the future! So why now is he struggling not to fall apart between bags of coffee beans?

If anything else goes wrong today—Tweek doesn’t know what he’ll do. Something drastic, he’s sure. A part of him wants to grab the axe, like always—and just like always, the rest of him knows it wouldn’t be worth it. The mess alone would give him fits, not to mention the hit the shop would take to its reputation, and the trouble Tweek would be in, and he’d have hurt someone who really didn’t deserve it over something so small and stupid and he would never be able to live with that—

So yeah. Tweek ignores the part of him crooning to just burn the whole place down and keeps tugging at his apron. It’s like Craig always says: they’re just thoughts, honey, they can’t hurt you if you don’t let them.

At the thought of Craig, Tweek frowns. Maybe he was too mean during their argument, too willing to let his emotions run him over. Maybe he should apologize, now that he’s cooled off.

Tweek scowls. Or maybe Craig should stop being such a shithead. Because, actually, Tweek hasn’t cooled off, and he doubts Craig has, either. Just because Craig can look up good advice for Tweek doesn’t mean he knows everything, self-righteous prick—

“Ah, go on home, son.” Richard says, hand landing on Tweek’s shoulder despite the innumerous times Tweek’s told him not to do that. “You’re no use to anyone like this.”

Tweek jerks, stepping away from Richard’s hand. “But the shop—”

“I’ve got it.” Richard says. “Helen will be back from her book club. We’ll handle closing up.”

Tweek twitches, suspicion skittering around in his stomach. “What’s with the—ngh—sudden generosity?” If it was coming from his mother, he could understand—but Richard? Something’s definitely up. It’s only 5:45; Richard never sends Tweek home this early.

Richard shrugs. “You’re no use if you’re just going to keep spazzing out like this.” He waves his hand dismissively, but there’s something in his eyes—excitement? Tweek can’t tell. “So until you’ve resolved,” he gestures loosely at Tweek, “this, you’re off the schedule.”

“Off the—!” Okay, there’s definitely an ulterior motive to this. Tweek has never been barred from working at—wait.

Oh. Oh. Tweek groans, tugging at his apron. “Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Of course. His nametag is a fucking gay pride pin—that he didn’t ask for—so what else does he expect? There might be something well-meaning hidden under all of Richard’s calculation, but it all boils down to marketability in the end. Can’t get all jazzed about having a gay son if that son doesn’t have a boyfriend! Tweek tugs the apron off with more force than necessary, tossing it vaguely towards the employee cubbies. Whatever. Richard can clean it up, since he’s so insistent on closing.

Tweek passes by Adam on the way out; the guy’s seated in a booth with a donut and—yep, that’s a caramel hot chocolate. Tweek’s eyes roll; at least he won’t have to deal with that anymore.

The sun’s already set by now; of course, in a place like South Park, sunset always comes early—especially at this time of year. Most of the way home is cast into shadow, lit only by sparse streetlamps, but it’s barely a two minute walk—Tweek makes it home with minimal fuss, keys between his knuckles just in case.

There’s nobody else home when Tweek steps inside, locking the door behind him. Not that he expected there to be anyone. His relationship with his parents is… complicated doesn’t even begin to cover it. He knows Richard wants him to take over the shop, and he knows that that’s never gonna happen. He just has to make it to graduation—less than six months away. He can do it.

But man, it sure doesn’t feel like it right now.

+=+=+=+=+

There’s an essay due tomorrow.

There’s an essay due tomorrow on the economic impact of the civil war and Tweek completely forgot—

Well. There’s only one solution. Tweek cracks open the minifridge by his desk he bought sophomore year and grabs the first red bull he can reach. The coffee pot downstairs is full, of course, but Tweek can’t afford to waste time going back and forth up and down the stairs. He needs to get this done, and get it done tonight. He needs to lock in.

His phone buzzes. Tweek glances at it, sees the notification atop the screen—nope. He’s not in the mood. Glowering, Tweek tosses the phone onto his bed, and goes back to pouring through the internet for good sources. Another empty red bull joins the growing pile on his desk; he keeps his fridge well-stocked for exactly this reason.

He measures his productivity in the growing number of energy drinks scattered across his desk rather than in hours; time loses all meaning past ten, anyway. It’s on the seventh and a half that Tweek has something he might be able to call halfway decent—what time is it. Shit, where the fuck did he put his clock—wait, there’s a clock on his computer. Tweek squints blearily at the numbers… 3:31 AM? Wait, but that means—

A soft tune slowly comes into Tweek’s awareness. A soft and familiar tune.

“…Time to go to work, work all night! Search for underpants, yay! We won’t stop until we have—”

“No no nonono no!” Tweek’s chair wobbles precariously as he spins around, eyes tracking across the room—there! “Stop that! Stop that right now!” Fucking gnomes! How did they even get in? Tweek blocked all the mouse holes!

The gnomes slowly grind to a halt under Tweek’s glare, underwear in hand. They stare up at him from their little tower by the dresser, though Tweek can’t read their tiny expressions from across the room.

Tweek glares harder. “I’m not—ngh—in the mood!” He brandishes the first thing he grabs—a notebook—in their general direction, shaking it as though he might swat them with it. “Drop it!” Just leave him alone!

“Up yours!” One of the gnomes declares. With a cry, Tweek tumbles out of his chair in what might be called a lunge by someone far more generous, notebook swinging wildly in an attempt to swat that stupid little tower—

The gnomes scatter, underwear briefly forgotten on the floor. Tweek manages to smack one of them, sending it flying into the wall while the others scatter.

“GAH! Why do you always—ack!—have to torment ME?!” He needs them out, out, out of his room! Away from his underwear! He only has so much! How’s he supposed to escape this town if he has to keep spending his money on more fucking underwear!

Most of the gnomes have already hoofed it out the door, and Tweek sweeps his notebook in an effort to force the rest of them out. He grabs the abandoned underpants so that they can’t, and stands in the center of his room once they’re gone, panting.

Fuuuuuuck. Tweek whines. Why is everything in his life going to shit all of a sudden? Craig would probably say something about the late hour messing with Tweek’s head—but Craig’s not here right now, and Tweek doesn’t want to see him!

“Hey, you!” A tiny voice snaps Tweek out of his breakdown. Shit, one of them hid under his bed! Tweek squats down, notebook ready to swat the offender in the direction of the door. It’s the warlock, so he’ll probably live if Tweek scores a direct hit.

A wave of the warlock’s hand, a splash of glittering dust right in Tweek’s face—

.

.

.

+=+=+=+=+

.

.

.

Tweek wakes up to the beeping of his alarm. His eyes blink open slowly, head pounding—wait.

Since when has he woken up to his alarm instead of before it? And he’s not even in his bed, instead lying awkwardly on the floor—which, ow, his neck—

What happened?

Tweek groans, slowly pushing himself up. He’s still in yesterday’s clothes, too. What—

All at once, recollection hits him like a truck. “GoddAMMIT.” Since when did the gnomes put people to sleep instead of just shrinking them?! At least Tweek would be able to get a week’s worth of gnome dust out of the warlock if they had just shrunken him. But here he is, sore and tired and gross because he passed out on his fucking floor. “Nhnnnngh.” Christ.

Tweek peels himself up off the floor, reaching for his alarm to shut it off. He doesn’t want to go back to school today, but he’s not allowed to go skulk at the shop for the time being. And it’s not like he can sleep in, either—now that he’s actually awake, Tweek knows he’s not getting back to sleep. Nor does he want to. Goddamn gnomes.

Wait. Tweek nearly yanks out his dresser’s top drawer, and—no! His underwear! Tweek’s forehead thuds against the dresser. “I hate.” Thud. “This stupid.” Thud. “Town!” He wouldn’t be dealing with this shit if he lived anywhere else—even North Park has way less bullshit than Tweek sees daily here.

His phone starts to ring from where it’s still on the bed. Tweek glares at it, not in the mood for whatever asshole has decided to bother him n—oh wait that’s Laura’s number. Tweek likes Laura—she’s like a second mother, but way more… sincere. Yeah, that’s the word Tweek’s looking for. Craig doesn’t know how good he has it when it comes to parents.

Tweek answers the call, holding the phone against his ear as he sits down by his bed. “Laura?”

“Can you and Craig stop by before school? His backpack’s still here, and I packed lunches for the both of you.” Laura says, straight and to the point. Already, Tweek’s relaxing to the familiar cadence of her voice—wait.

“Why would I tell Craig anything?” Tweek asks, staring blearily at the floor. “We’re not—ngh—we’re not talking right now.” He hasn’t even seen Craig since their fight—nor does he want to see him. Not at all. Nope.

“But I thought…” Laura’s voice trails off—okay, that’s weird. Then, “Didn’t he spend the night?”

Okay, something’s up. “nnnNo.” Tweek sits up, stomach already churning, “I haven’t seen him since our fight! I’m still—ack—so mad at him!” He really is. It’s hard not to be, when Craig can so effortlessly slide under his skin and curl up around his heart like he belongs there. It riles Tweek up to no end, and has for years. But it’s that same grasp on his heart that always gets Tweek coming back around for more, gripping onto Craig with just as much intensity. He loves him, he really does—just… fuck, he’s still angry.

“He left to go make things up with you.” Laura explains, and Tweek’s chest twists in tandem with his stomach. He doesn’t doubt it took some coaxing from Laura—a lot of coaxing from Laura—but this is Craig, so it would have been sincere nonetheless. “When he didn’t come back we all figured he must be spending the night.” Tweek wants to hate how plausible that sounds, but—if Craig showed up to apologize, they probably would have spent last night gaming, shittalking, slotting back into their normal with minimal fuss. In the same way that Craig riles him up like nobody else, few things can calm Tweek down as fast as Craig can. At least part of him wants to keep avoiding Craig just to avoid the inevitable reconciliation—he’s just not ready.

An itch Tweek will never be able to reach crawls down his spine. “Well, he never showed.” Shit, fuck, goddammit, this isn’t good. At all. This is so not good. “And he never came home?” Tweek won’t be able to stomach breakfast or lunch, at this rate.

“No, he didn’t.” Laura’s voice is taut, her words stabbing directly into Tweek’s chest. The call ends. Tweek’s hand slowly falls, phone slipping onto the floor.

Craig never made it home.

Craig never made it here.

Craig is missing—

“Oh god.” Tweek pitches forwards, grasping at his pant legs, nails digging into the denim. “Oh, jesus christ.” What if Craig never turns up? What if something really horrible happened?

And the last thing Tweek said to him was to fuck off—

“Nnnno no no nonono nghhaAAGH!” This is bad. This is so stupidly bad. Tweek’s feet kick against the ground, the back of his head smacking into the bed. One of his hands makes its way to his hair, tugging sharply, while the other grasps at his shirt. Fuck, fuck, fuck, this isn’t good this is bad this is so bad what if something happened something definitely happened Tweek’s sure of it and the last thing he ever said to Craig was that he didn’t care but he does care he’s sorry he’s sorry oh god oh jesus oh fuck fuck fuck—

“Tweek.” And there’s his mother, holding his shoulders tight enough to hurt, staring him down until he starts to come back down to earth.

“Tweek, it’s time for school.” She squeezes his shoulders, then pries his hand away from his hair. “Go take a shower, sweetie.” With that, she withdraws, walking away as though everything’s normal. Tweek exhales shakily, standing on unsteady legs.

“Ack! Craig is missing.” He blurts out, and his mother stops in the doorway.

“Is that why he never showed?” She frowns. “Well, I hope he turns up soon. He’s such a nice boy.” And then she’s gone, down the hall before Tweek can even begin to formulate a response.

Tweek tosses his head back and groans. A moment longer, and then he’s standing up. He does need that shower…

“Ack!” Shit, his essay!

+=+=+=+=+

Tweek can’t do this.

He’s standing in front of the school, backpack slung over his shoulder, thermos in hand. By some miracle, he’s arrived five minutes before first period is due to start, freshly showered and dressed, essay printed out in his backpack. There’s a few other people milling about outside the building, or slowly making their way in—and here Tweek stands, rooted in place with every stare he feels.

He can’t do this. He should have just stayed home, or seen if his mother would let him work in the shop despite Richard’s ultimatum. He can’t do this, can’t walk through those halls while everyone stares at him and Craig’s not even there—

“Tweek!” And there’s Clyde’s heavy arm across Tweek’s shoulders, broad grin taking up Tweek’s peripheral. “Gah!” Tweek startles, elbowing Clyde sharply on reflex.

Clyde shrugs the action off, used to sharp elbows in his side from a childhood spent being best friends with Craig. “Glad to see you back, buddy!”

“Ack! I’ve told you to stop doing that!” Tweek shoves Clyde away, more harshly than usual. It’s unfortunately Clyde’s nature to be as obnoxious and friendly as possible, but Tweek can’t handle that right now. He’s still not sure why he even came to school—the mere thought of how many people will be in the halls is making Tweek break out in hives.

Clyde frowns. “You okay?” He moves to the side, putting himself between Tweek and the building. The sound of crutches heralds Jimmy’s arrival—Tolkien’s probably already inside, always the early bird.

“Tweek!” It only takes a moment for Jimmy to register—Tweek doesn’t even know. Is it something on his face? Something in the way he’s twitching? Whatever it is, Jimmy notices it immediately, “Whoa, who p—who pissed in your coffee?”

“Ggnnnnnnrgh.” Tweek’s shoulders hike up. He can’t do this. He turns around, intent on leaving before something even worse happens—

A hand on his arm stops him. “Still mad at Craig?” Clyde asks, and it’s so painfully sincere that Tweek wants to vomit. He can’t do this. He can’t!

“I don’t know! Maybe!” Tweek wails, glad that there’s so few people out this close to the first bell. “I just—hhhhhnnnnn—Laura called me this morning because she thought Craig—ack—was staying over but I haven’t seeeeeen him since Monday at allllllllllll—gaaAAAAAGH!” The words spill out, Tweek burying his face in his free hand. “Which means he’s—gah—missing and—”

“Hey.” And there’s Clyde up in Tweek’s personal space, sweaty hand patting Tweek’s shoulder. “Tweek, buddy, breathe. C’mon, in, out, innn, ouuut.” He’s no Craig, but there’s comfort in familiarity, and Tweek’s known Clyde for almost ten years at this point. Somehow, Tweek manages to calm down enough to think.

“You know Craig,” Jimmy points out. “He’s probably still sulking somewhere like a little b—like a little bitch.” Tweek wants to believe it. He really does. But he’s not blind to the glances Clyde and Jimmy are giving each other, and—well, if Craig were to sulk and mope, he’d do it somewhere familiar. It just doesn’t bode well at all.

“Yeah!” Clyde agrees, gently herding Tweek towards the building. “He’ll turn up.” He doesn’t sound as certain as Tweek wants him to.

They part ways at the door—Jimmy heads off to the ramp and his first period science class, Clyde has algebra, and Tweek has to hoof it to make it to AP English before the bell. Tolkien’s already there, of course, and Tweek takes his usual seat next to him.

“You’re not working today?” Tolkien asks, in the few minutes it takes the teacher to get her lesson plans in order.

“Richard said I was off the schedule.” Tweek grouses, fishing through his backpack for his notebook—fuck, he left it in his room after trying to swat gnomes with it. Goddammit. With a grumble, Tweek grabs some loose notebook paper and a pencil.

Tolkien’s eyes widen in surprise—he doesn’t get the chance to say anything, though, because class is starting. Tweek keeps his head down and tries to focus on the lesson, but his stomach is still trying to find new knots to tie itself in. Tweek drinks from his thermos frequently, doodling on his paper in an effort to keep his hands busy.

Class ends, and Tweek retreats through the hall before Tolkien can say another word. He wants to go home. He’d explode from his nerves alone if he tried—it’d be too quiet. He slips into one of the less-used bathrooms, splashing water on his face to try and calm himself down. It only helps a little. He ends up skipping second period chemistry entirely, hovering nervously in the bathroom and unintentionally scaring off the underclassmen that come in to vape.

Third period comes—home ec. Another class that Craig wouldn’t even be in; the only classes Tweek shares with Craig are after lunch; fifth period theatre and seventh period study hall. Tweek trudges into class, unable to bear just standing around in the bathroom any longer, but he can’t focus on his cross stitch project, absently twirling the thread in his hands instead.

Fourth period. Calculus. Most of his classmates are used to his twitching, but Tweek swears more people are staring at him than usual. The bell rings for lunch, and Tweek makes it two steps into the hall before wanting to turn back around and go home. He can’t do this. Why did he think he could do this?

“Yo, Tweek, c’mon!” And there’s Clyde, gently herding Tweek to the cafeteria—did he plan this? His class this time of day is nowhere near here, so he must have come all this way knowing that Tweek would be frozen in the hallway like a loser.

“I stopped by Craig’s place earlier.” Clyde says, guiding Tweek to their usual table. Craig’s seat is empty, and will probably stay that way— “And I made sure to grab this!” He sets a bag on the table—Tweek’s heart lurches. The lunch that Laura made for him. Clyde wouldn’t have known about it, so she must have told him, must have given it to him to give to Tweek even though her actual son is missing and it’s probably Tweek’s fault somehow—

Clyde sits down right next to Tweek, blocking his attempt to run for the bathroom. “Hey, it’s all gonna be okay, okay?” He nudges Tweek, then pulls out his own lunch. “We’re just gonna sit here and have a totally normal lunch.”

Tweek grips his thermos. He hasn’t had breakfast—and he doubts he’ll be able to stomach lunch, either. He can already hear Kyle screaming at Cartman across the cafeteria; though that’s normal, and Tweek quickly drowns out the sound. The feeling of eyes on his back feels much more pressing—but when he looks, he can’t see anyone looking at him.

Clyde nudges him. “C’mon man, you gotta eat something.” He urges. Tweek grumbles, picking up his sandwich—toasted peanut butter and jelly with the crusts cut off, fuck Tweek is definitely going to start crying—but doesn’t take a bite.

Clyde’s mouth opens to say something, probably another admonishment—

The cafeteria has gone quiet. Clyde’s eyes widen, and he leans to look around Tweek at the doors. Tweek turns around to look—oh, cops.

Wait. Cops?! Did Cartman do something stupid again?! No, wait, Cartman almost never gets in trouble like that these days. Did someone finally get sick of all the bathroom vaping—no, the cops never bother with that shi—why are they coming this way. What the fuck?

“Tweek Tweak.” There’s two officers, and they march right over to where Tweek and Clyde are sitting. Tweek barely has a moment to consider running for it—a stupid idea—before his head is suddenly slammed against the table, his hands wrenched behind his body.

“Gah—what?!” Oh god, did they find out about the meth? Are his parents being arrested right now? Oh jesus christ, this is it, isn’t it? Even though Tweek never had anything to do with that part of the family business, he’s guilty by association and now his life is over—

“Whoa whoa whoa!” Clyde’s standing, hands on the table as he leans forwards. “The fuck are you doing? Tweek did nothing wrong!”

“Stand aside.” The second officer intones, as cold metal pinches Tweek’s wrists. What the fuck is going on? Clyde’s shouting, phones are out and flashing—

“Tweek Tweak, you are hereby under arrest for the murder of Craig Tucker.”

[buggysimp]

hi can u PLS give me some jyle headcanons 😭😭

YES I ABSOLUTELY CAN

-while I hc Kyle is taller than most of the others, Jimmy is the tallest by 4 inches and while that pisses Kyle off at first, it starts making his heart flutter having to look up at Jimmy, something he hasn't experienced with most people

-at some point Kyle asks Jimmy about his workout routine (he can't stop noticing how muscular Jimmy's arms are 🙄) and Jimmy takes him to the gym. Kyle INSISTS on doing Jimmy's usual workout and he's like ermmm I'm not sure about that it's a bit intense but Kyle keeps assuring he can keep up.

An hour later Jimmy is half supporting Kyle and half dragging him back to the car.

-after that though, Kyle does start regularly going to the gym with him, doing much easier workouts

-while Kyle laughs at a lot of things, stand up comedy is not one. He gets somewhat high and mighty about the jokes and complains about how crude most are. However, in middle school he goes to one of Jimmy's routines, dragged on by Cartman who is genuinely a fan of Jimmy's, and is so surprised by how intelligent Jimmy's jokes are. While some are still crude, the smut and such isn't the punchline and that makes the jokes so much funnier to Kyle.

He starts going to every show after that

-in stick of truth Jimmy is Kyle's second in command, Kyle trusts him completely to take care of the elf army and kingdom while he fights with the grand wizard. It gets to the point where the elves see Jimmy as the other king and assume that a political marriage took place. When Kyle hears about this he gets completely flustered while Jimmy is quite alright with the people thinking that

-also sot, when things get intense in the kingdom and Kyle has to make tough choices, he always goes to the bard for advice and comfort. Jimmy helps Kyle see things with a more clear head, playing a soothing song for him after, happy to help his king

-in post covid, Kyle is always in the audience of Jimmy's show. He has the option to watch from bsckstage, but he prefers seeing his husband up on stage from the point of the audience. It reminds him of going to his routines every weekend

-also pc, Kyle has his kids from a past marriage but the second he brings home his boyfriend Jimmy his kids demand that Kyle marries him. They latch onto him instantly and he's perfectly fine with it, he loves the kids as much as they love him

-going with pc dating, Kyle and Jimmy dated well into highschool and everyone always just assumed they'd always be together. But in the last year of highschool Jimmy moved away and Kyle broke up with him, worried he'd hold him back. When they met again years later they realized even after seeing other people over the years, they still loved each other just as much as when they were 10 and playing a silly fantasy game where they were kings together

I GOTTA STOP HERE OR ILL JUST KEEP GOING FOREVER!!

Thank you so much for this ask, I hope these weren't too ooc 😿 I love talking about them and WILL write more if you ask

Might draw one or two of these also if anyone's interested ?

Otherwise, have a great day/night 😸

[starkspondwater]

jimmy 🟣

🟣 for my boy Jimmy Valmer!

I have a growing affection for him

💛 This boy is a charmer and no one will talk me out of that. He can and will sweep anyone he wants off their feet with words alone and he knows that. I really like to hc Jimmy as being a little cocky when it comes to flirting and romancing, especially compared to his friends

💛 is comfortable in relationships in general. I don't see Jimmy having any sort of awkward phase with his partners- from the get go he makes everything feel natural and easy.

💛I've mentioned NSFW hcs for him before but to add onto that I'm of the opinion that I do think in particular he does make some special efforts for things he find important- anniversaries, holidays, you saying it was a bad day, etc. He'd pull out the stops for a special evening that for sure is ending under the covers

💛also adding to the NSFW stuff- good grip with those hands. I don't feel like I need to explain this. It's there. You've read it.

💛If we're getting shippy around here lately I've been down bad for jimbe (Jimmy x Bebe) because it is so sweet I want to gnaw my own arm off. Big thanks to @voltaridylla for creating some wonderful artwork of them 😭

[leobebestevens]

what if i went all millennial on you and presented you with sp kids and their hogwarts houses....TOO LATE!!!! (these r just my opinions no one hate me pls) also im a Slytherin

Stan: Gryffindor. Idk what else to say, just Gryffindor. I could also see him being a Hufflepuff to be honest.

Kyle: Slytherin. He's ambitious, determined, and has that most likely to succeed vibe.

Kenny: Gryffindor. He's quiet but brave and I think he's funny and chaotic just a lil bit.

Cartman: I hate to say it, but as a Slytherin, he is a textbook Slytherin. I could also see him being a Gryffindor.

Butters: THIS IS SO BASIC but Hufflepuff. He's extremely loyal even when people fuck him over. He also is very hardworking and sweet even though he's kind of a dick.

Wendy: SLYTHERIN!!!!! Imagine Kyle, Cartman, and Wendy all being in the same house and almost killing each other. Beautiful.

Bebe: My beautiful Gryffindor girl<3

Clyde: Hufflepuff. For sure Hufflepuff.

Tolkien: Ravenclaw. In pursuit of knowledge on how to steal Kyle's hoes.

Craig: I think Ravenclaw. It might be the autism, but I really see him learning a lot just for fun.

Tweek: Gryffindor. He may have crippling anxiety, but he's also a pretty aggressive dude, which gives Gryffindor to me. (sorry to all of the soft uwu Tweek people but I dont care)

Heidi: Miss "I can change him" is a Hufflepuff. Nuff said.

Nichole: Ravenclaw. Very smart.

Jimmy: Hufflepuff. Charismatic, everyone likes him.

[sp-by-april]

What's your headcannon of the South Park character's future jobs disregarding of the canon future that is Post Covid?

I love PC, it's so difficult to throw it all out... but I'll do my best. 😭

💔 Cartman - Conman It's theatrical. It's what he already does. Donning different characters and swindling people of money, goods and services comes to him like breathing.

🤍 Butters - Pimp He goes back to his roots. His hoes are unionized and... Okay, fine. Marketing. He's great at selling shit. He'd make a (real) start-up, do regional work and then national campaigns. He'd get to sit in a room with other dudes and actually have them listen to his ideas and convince people to buy shit.

🧡 Kenny - Guidance Counselor I like rich Kenny, but I really love the conversation he has in Mackey's car. Mackey is one of the few adults to praise Kenny and seeing him say he think Kenny would be great to fill his role when he's gone is really sweet. Idk I just love it!

💚 Kyle - Fullstack Coding Kyle is good with tech (he was even an ipad once! /hj) and extremely online. Plus I think he'd like the idea of having a sanctuary (his office) and working from home. Kyle is a family man, he'd appreciate the extra time with his kids and extra opportunities to fuck his wife (me) stupid.

💙 Stan - Music Teacher/Tutor At 19, Crimson Dawn had one song on the bubbling under chart, but that was their peak. They broke up for a while, and Stan started teaching to scrape by. A few years later, Crimson Dawn is on much better terms and will get together for reunions and play small local venues whenever Jimmy is in town. His music students always show up to cheer him on.

💜 Tolkien - Wildcard. A Sociologist. Meterologist. Economist. Farmer. DEI Consultant (/hj). Zoologist. Carnival Barker. Actor turned Rapper (aka the Childish Gambino). Rapper turned Actor. (aka the Will Smith). Literally anything but a fucking cop.

💛 Jimmy - Showrunner of a Sitcom on CBS Jimmy's never gonna stop chasing his dream. He's incredibly talented and more importantly - he works on his craft. He starts as a staff writer and pitches a bland sitcom to CBS as a joke but they love it and hire him as Showrunner/Executive Producer.

[fennecfiree]

Hc dump from my notesapp

Stan listens to slipknot

Butters is half canadian

Jimmy likes sonic

Kyle is a really picky eater

Cartman is autistic and has ocd

Mr garrison has ocd, autism and DID

Stan plays animal jam with Wendy

Kyle plays club penguin

Craig paints his nails black and sometimes paints Tweeks nails

Kyle sleeps with a orca whale plushie

Clyde has dyslexia

Tweek has fucked up teeth from meth, acne, skin sores, and he's really skinny.

Wendy has 2 cats (1 white cat named sparkles 1 orange cat named cheesecake)

Bebe unironically uses those glasses nerdy Snapchat filters

Stan works at McDonald's in his late teens and gives Kyle free food

Sheila has a Facebook and shares every single moment of ther life on it, she used to post pictures of Kyle when he was a baby and ike

Cartmans actually pretty good at drawing. Kyle sucks at art tho and gets embarrassed whenever Cartman sees his art cuz Cartman makes fun of him like crazy for it

Butters favorite animal is bunnys

Nichole and Kyle still hang out. Nichole doesn't really have a crush on Kyle anymore but Kyle still kinda likes her

Kyle is scared of dogs, especially big dogs

Wendy wants to be a docter

Kenny gets really cold easily since he's malorished

Kyle is lactose intolerant

Mr garrison has a calico cat named tom

Kyle is oblivous to any and all romantic interest someone may show him

Stan forgets to eat a lot

Kennys favorite season is summer

Bebe does kyles hair sometimes

Stan gets car sick really easily

Stan is the oldest in the group, cartmans the 2nd oldest, kyles the 3rd, and Kenny's the 4th

Shelly has a Tumblr and looks at yaoi and yuri

[voltaridylla]

So… I did a thing…