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onlyswan · 1 year

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summary: in which jungkook is giving up on you but you have so much love left to give.

> idol!jungkook x f!reader / angst, fluff, suggestive / wc: 8.3k

> warnings: mention of infidelity (no one did u can breathe ily), mention of a classmate slipping their number in oc’s pocket and oc feeling unsafe, mention of puking, mentions & allusion to s/x, alcohol consumption, making out, boob!e fondle, gr*nding kinda? jungkook is hard™️ they’re so in love it’s sickening

> in which masterlist!

playlist! and if/or when - ruel / hate everything - jungkook cover (gsoul) / hits different - taylor swift / statue - lil’ eddie / i wouldn’t ask you - clairo (i had to get in the zone & this is so oc-coded i need u to listen i’m so srs)

next: in which you don’t want to give up jungkook (even when he gave you reasons to, even if they give you reasons to).

note: this was a journey. happened back in june 2019.!! i’m ripping off the bandaid <3 deep sigh writing this made me realize how my babies have come so far. hopefully will follow up with a fluffy fluff lowkey inspired by the underwear live soonest lols i’m excited for it 2 stay tuned 🫂 reblogs & feedback are much appreciated <3

—

you forgot the walls of the apartment building you’re living in are thin. a small portion of the white paint has been chipped off, it looks like a birth mark, you note — except it’s not, and you’re the one who caused the irregularity.

your favorite glass is scattered across the kitchen floor, reduced to shards and to sparkling pieces almost as miniscule as dust. you don’t know what came over you. you don’t know why you threw it at the wall instead of filling it with cold water to only drink three sips like you usually do.

just when you thought you’ve been faring well in holding yourself together today, a fresh wave of sorrow overwhelms you. your knees buckle as you begin weeping, the loudest you’ve been since this nightmare has started. it swallows the knocking sounds at your door, but it’s still not loud enough to quell jungkook’s quivering voice playing like a broken record on loop inside your head.

“we should end this… i think it’s for the best, before we get drained.”

the rain is coming down fiercely and you’re freezing inside his car, parked outside your apartment. after all, his balenciaga windbreaker can only do so much against the blasted airconditioner. your throat is painfully dry, and your hands and face are numb from the piercing cold. but those are the least of your concerns because you feel like your head had just been dunked in ice water. the sting in your eyes are burning warmer as the seconds fly by and the muffled sounds of the torrential raindrops drum frantically in your ears. they’re clouding the car windows, mirroring jungkook’s tear-stained cheeks.

“i’m leaving again in three weeks. and i’m leaving again next year… and i’ll be gone again soon after that for a long time. i-i don’t know when i’m coming home, ___.” he pauses. the heel of palms press against his eyes, as if that could possibly barricade the saltwater leaking from them. “i never know where my life is taking me and you have your own… there’s too much-too much going on. i think that i’m just wasting your time, that this isn’t- it’s not going anywhere.”

��open the door! hello?! ___!”

“what do you want?!” you seeth in annoyance, swinging the door open to reveal your pesky neighbor.

he scratches the top of his head awkwardly at the sight of the mess that you greeted him with, having not bothered to pretend that you weren’t wailing your heart out.

”hey, i know you’re going through something…” his lips remain parted as he struggles to find the correct word, his right eye twitching voluntarily. “soul-crushing? right now. but i heard glass breaking and i was concerned that you, uhm, might’ve hurt yourself.”

the apparent nervousness and sincerity in his actions pull you out from the isolating disassociation you’ve imprisoned yourself in. you feel humiliated, presenting yourself in your most pitiful form infront of a kid two years younger than you. you envy him for having it together after storming out of his parents’ house while you-

“i’m not hurt. it was just an accident.”

you’re shamelessly lying infront of his face because the truth makes you feel too ashamed of yourself.

he only nods, smiling in relief. “i don’t know how to help make you feel better, so i just brought honey like i used to do before.”

you sigh, the familiar jar of honey and its red checkered lid waving at you like an old friend. has it been a year?

“bro, i told you i can’t accept this anymore.”

“you and your boyfriend already broke up. what’s the big deal?”

you have never wanted to smack someone more, the genuine confusion painted on his face feels like an infuriatingly harsh slap to yours.

“he wasn’t threatened by your honey, you dipshit. we just found out my blood sugar was getting a bit high!”

“oh- i’m so-”

you angrily slam the door shut. the silence you’re left with is suffocating, and you find yourself breaking down again.

he jumps in surprise when you open the door again, yelling- “and we’re not broken up!” before ripping away the jar of honey from his sweaty palms. he’s left completely flabbergasted, an inexplicable heaviness weighing on his chest when he hears your sniffling from the other side of the hard-wood.

“does that mean i can deliver again next week? i have too much in my kitchen…”

he doesn’t receive a snarky answer, surprisingly, so he continues talking.

“and f-y-i, your left cheek is bleeding! you might want to check on that!”

—

“you didn’t even give me any signs…”

you inhale a deep, shaky breath in a fragile attempt of keeping your composure. you want to scream, rip apart this thick tension with your bare hands, and force him to admit that this is just some kind of sick joke. you finally see him in person after months and all he has for you is a gift bag filled to the brim with heartbreak. this is too casually cruel, not something you would’ve expected from your jungkook.

“do you really mean that? or is there something else you’re not saying…? look at me.” you plead, weakly tugging at the hem of his long-sleeved shirt. the horrors of long-distance relationship stories claw their way out of your skin, adding fuel to the fire of your deepest fear. “you didn’t cheat on me, right? that can’t be it. we- we always-”

after you ended your last relationship, you cried at the parking lot of your university and continued living your life the next morning as if nothing happened at all. you did it all for yourself, anyway. he was gradually tearing down your confidence and your dignity; and you didn’t want to become a person the future you would despise for not being wiser, stronger.

and here you are at present day: spending the cozy sunday night solving chemistry problems on your desk. you have a blue bandaid plastered on your face and a cheek full of fruit and honey. and you would say you’re fine, but jungkook wasn’t here to sweetly dote on you while treating your wound. he isn’t here to taste the honey from your lips with that coquettish smirk of his. he isn’t laying on your bed, fighting to stay awake because he wants to fall asleep with you as his pillow.

no matter how hard you try to shut out this thought, it keeps knocking on the door. he’s going to be doing these sweet nothings for a different person when he finally reaches a more stable place in his life. you want to kneel on the ground, beg the heavens to meddle with destiny and never let you hear about it.

because that means he will never set foot in your apartment again, and the personal belongings you left in his room will be thrown out to erase the traces you left behind.

so this is how it begins.

the ugliest parts of you are swimming to the surface, tying themselves around your ankles because jungkook took away the ground from beneath your feet after unearthing your soul and… nothing makes sense to you anymore. if you wake up every morning to tend to your garden, and you look outside the window to learn that the sun has stopped burning, what do you have left?

your lips inevitably curve into a frown, but you inhale a sharp breath, patting your eyes dry before they can smudge the black ink on your notepad. and then you dip a strawberry in honey for the third time.

—

“no, baby, no- that’s not it.”

the dread and insecurity weaved into the cracks of your voice fill him with nausea and panic. he captures your frigid hand with haste, firmly holding it to his pounding chest.

“i would never do that to you. just the thought alone fucking disgusts me… you’re the only one. you’ve ruined me for everybody else.”

“then why are you giving up on me? am i becoming a burden?”

jungkook feels painfully numb, mind floating as the buildings outside the window get left behind him as a mere, passing blur.

“yah, jungkook-ah. are you crying?”

a torturous moment of silence passes as he struggles to find his voice. his tongue is tied, and his lost eyes are betraying the nights he spent practicing how to explain himself to you. back then, the reasoning he curated made sense. but faced with the consequences of his actions, the love of his life’s brain running a thousand miles per hour, recording a tale of woe and heartache on his passenger seat — he has never felt this much loathing for himself and his weaknesses.

you release a shaky breath, patting his rosy cheeks dry with your sleeves. you smile at him kindly, and he watches you in sheer disbelief. he can’t fathom the perpetual luck he’s been blessed with that he met, who he believes to be, the purest soul to grace this corrupted world. they’re damp with your tears, so it’s practically useless, but the sweet gesture is a stray beam of sunlight in the midst of the dull gray clouds.

the comforting rubs on his shoulder extracts him from his torturous thoughts, and only then does he feel the wetness on his face.

“you’ve been holding it back for the past week. just cry it out.”

he nods wordlessly, hiding himself in the fleece blanket from his lap. yoongi can feel a lump forming in his throat as he witnesses his youngest brother breaking down, jungkook’s pain also being his pain. as a group who’s been living together for the past decade, no one will be able to empathize with them as well each other. especially during times like this.

“___ hasn’t called?”

jungkook shakes his head wistfully, wiping away the tears that slid down his nose. he is dying to send you a text message, worried sick, and still used to hearing about your day the same way he is used to sleeping on his stomach.

“hyung,” the sound of the word borders on a sob. “it’s over. this is killing me… it’s all my fault.”

“but isn’t that what you wanted?”

“exactly. so why am i crying?” his hands ball into closed fists. “i’m an asshole.”

“enough of that!” yoongi loudly whines out his scolding. ”we all know you had your reason.”

“but, hyung, i fucked up!” he tenses up, blurting out the acknowledgement that’s been haunting him day and night. “she told me the most romantic thing and i felt so… fuck, i’m so angry at myself. i ruined everything. and i’m scared that i’d end up making things worse if i try fixing it.”

“stop beating yourself up. we can’t solve things this way.” yoongi grabs a bottle of water from the cupholder between them, twisting the cap open before handing it to jungkook. “drink first.”

once he starts drinking, he realizes that his throat has been awfully dry and sore. it’s most probably best for him to rest his voice. he can already foresee the concert rehearsal being absolute hell tomorrow. if he can’t sing, he doesn’t know how else he’s supposed to keep himself sane.

“talk to me. what did she say?”

“you’re the first person i’ve fallen in love with, do you know that?”

and with that revelation, he loses the warmth of your touch, and he comes crashing down like a wingless aircraft.

“i also need time to think about it. that’s only fair, right? that i get to decide, too…?” you swallow thickly, lips parting as if the words are resisting to come out of your mouth.

he looks at you with an emotion you can’t name, a push and pull between longing and trepidation.

if this was a movie, he would brave the rain and somehow perfectly deliver a poetically romantic speech that would sway your heart. if this was a movie, you would take a warm bath together, make out in the bathtub, and make love on your bed. if this was a movie, the day would end with the two of you tangled up, peacefully asleep and rhythmic breathing in sync. but he knows you. apparently not as well as he thought, but to some extent, he knows you. if he pulls you closer in the heat of the moment, you would feel suffocated and defensive and you would push him away; and he would lose you for good. that much he knows. so he lets you leave and he stays in the car— heartbroken, crestfallen, and regretful, because he might’ve just recklessly thrown away the best gift the universe has ever given him.

“i was thinking about how she never would’ve made this much sacrifices and efforts for anyone else and i feel like… i- it’s all going to waste because our future is uncertain. i can’t be committed to her as much as she is committed to me. and, and i felt like the guilt was eating away at me, you know? i wasn’t thinking straight.” jungkook chews on his bottom lip, a last ditch effort to prevent himself from sobbing. “it just… consumed me? like i was drowning… and all i could smell and taste was the saltwater.”

“i see,” yoongi sighs, crossing his legs and intertwining his fingers infront of his stomach as he finds the right words to say. “that’s a normal response. our brain is a very complex friend… but you know, everything i’ve been through as myself and as a part of our team, hmmm, they taught me that there are times when a problem doesn’t necessarily need a solution per se. you just keep going until the fog clears up and then you move past it.”

fuck, jungkook needs a glass of whiskey. or two. or twelve. he listens intently despite seeming like he’s spacing out.

“this won’t last forever and time slips away from us without us even noticing. you should do what you want to do. if we’re going to deprive ourselves of good things, what will we have left after everything is over? money we can’t spend in one lifetime? there’s no happiness in that.”

yoongi frowns, wishing he could do more to alleviate the weight hanging on jungkook’s shoulders.

“you deserve love outside all the noise, too. focus on the present which you can still control and deal with the future when it arrives. if you do otherwise, you’ll just be tormenting yourself… and i know it’s easier said than done but! do you want to hear something i’ve had on my mind lately?”

with a flushed face and swollen eyes, he tilts his head to curiously spy on his hyung.

“what is it?”

“your motivation to work out after our shows is so you can stay awake and spend time with her. that’s why you fall asleep everywhere else. do you know how scary and endearing it is to watch that? is that what you call ‘not being committed enough’?”

yoongi fails to hide his gummy smile, body vibrating with silent laughter as pictures of jungkook falling asleep standing up flash before his eyes.

“seriously, you punk! you scare me! i just pass out and die straight after while you- really, you’re really unbelievable. i envy you. for being able to love with everything you have until they break your heart. i mean it!”

“but i’m the one who broke their heart this time.” jungkook somberly utters in defeat, bottom lip jutting out and chin quivering.

yoongi encouragingly pats his shoulder, shaking his body lightly. ”you can make it up to her. she’ll reach out before we leave. have some more patience.”

jungkook’s eyes turn into slits, suspiciously squinting at the man sitting beside him. “why do you sound so sure?”

“because she loves you. why else?”

—

you automatically pause from eating cup ramyeon when your phone lights up on top of the journals you’ve been reviewing for the past hour.

“ah, shit! shit!”

you abruptly cover your mouth with your hand, exhausted eyes watering because you accidentally bit your tongue after reading the name of the sender of your newest text notification. you take sips of cold water, peering at your phone as you do so. your hands itch to type out a response, but the screen dies and turns black, another of yoongi’s messages in the same pile of unanswered ones from your friends checking up on you tonight. you can’t talk to anyone right now; you need to get shit done.

after eating your dinner at the convenience store, you come home to a plastic of fried chicken hanging on the doorknob of your front door.

Eat lots and stay healthy! I’m feeding Jungkook well too. Don’t worry. — Yoongi

you peel off the blue handwritten note, sticking it on the cover of one of your books. you carefully carry the food using your free hand, and you can feel it radiating on your skin, the heat of a freshly-cooked meal. you were always worried of being a bother when you occasionally ask him how jungkook is doing on tour, but this made your heart significantly lighter. gaining a good friend after losing your lover, perhaps life can show a smidge of mercy when it wants to.

too bad you’ve always been one to be greedy.

—

“ah, seriously. why did you have to break up with ___?”

“we’ve been through this a million times!” jungkook exclaims in exasperation as he fiddles with the controller, bumping his knee with taehyung’s. “focus. you’re supposed to be helping me forget.”

“i don’t remember agreeing to that.” taehyung responds with a shrug, smirking when he picks up a booster and runs past his friend’s character. “you finally found someone who could put up with you and you let them go? i won’t let you forget.”

jungkook scoffs, eyes rolling upwards. “bro, i should be the least of your problems.”

“nuh-uh.” taehyung tuts with a grin, belly aching with laughter when jungkook’s car jumps over his to steal the lead. he didn’t even know that was possible. he plans on using the same trick against him later. “i’m making you my biggest problem so i don’t have to deal with mine.”

“they’re not married yet. you still have a chance, you know?”

“yah!” he gapes at jungkook in shock, entirely forgetting about the game. “take that back!”

“don’t act like you haven’t thought of it!”

“yeah, but i don’t say it out loud. it sounds too wrong! i still have my morals left!” he cries out, stomping his feet on the floor.

jungkook lightly punches his arm, eyebrows pinched in confusion. “i meant you have a chance if they break up. i have morals too! what do you think of me?!”

“oh…” taehyung blinks. “you know who else have probably thought of that too, though?”

“who?” jungkook boredly questions as he scrolls through the game collection, contemplating about which one to play next.

“all the other people waiting in line for ___.”

the realization renders him motionless, stirring up the possessiveness coursing through his veins. for the love of god, he doesn’t want to be petty but that struck a nerve. he wants to storm out of the house and look for you, beg on his knees for you to take him back.

“aish, hyung, you’re driving me crazy! why would you tell me that? are we torturing each other?!”

“are you crying? yah, jungkook-ah.” taehyung watches his hunched figure with a guilty wince, hesitant hands rubbing the expanse of his back. “i’m sorry- i’m sorry… do you want a hug?”

jungkook stays quiet, head hanging low to hide his face crumpling with anguish. the loose but affectionate hug that he gets pulled into prompts him to fall apart, catharsis blossoming in his ribcage and turning his bones into jelly.

he hears obnoxiously loud sniffles, and he abandons taehyung’s shoulder to look at his face. “are you crying, too?”

“stop ruining the moment.” taehyung groans, forcefully pushing down his head again.

namjoon comes out from his bedroom in search for another extension cord, still sipping on the half-empty iced americano he took from the fridge only ten minutes ago. the heartfelt scene on the couch causes him to halt on his tracks. how did they go from playing games to crying together? he silently observes the two members for a moment before deciding to approach them.

“what am i going to do with the two of you?” he grunts, ruffling his hair in frustration. “shall we go out for drinks to disinfect your wounded hearts?”

the mention of alcohol makes them perk up, jungkook’s tearful doe eyes sparkling at the prospect of temporarily erasing the pain that has uncontrollably spread throughout his system. he wants to drink until he forgets that he has hands, until he forgets what it feels like to touch you.

“thanks, monie-hyung. i’ll have my appetizer.”

and the iced americano gets snatched away from namjoon’s unsuspecting hand within the blink of an eye.

—

“this is not a barbecue restaurant.” you stare blankly at the orange neon lights spelling out the name of the night club your friends secretly conspired to bring you to.

“___, loosen up! the fastest way to move on is to find someone else. this is the best place for that.” aera turns around from the passenger seat of the taxi, her red lips painting a thrilled smile. “just forget about jungkook. we all knew this shit was going to happen. i’m surprised you even lasted that long!”

“i don’t know what you’re trying to imply but i don’t appreciate your tone.” you warn her with a sharp, threatening look. “and the ‘someone else’ that i found at a bar before turned out to be biggest fucking jerk i’ve ever met. i’m not doing this again.”

“things might be different this ti-” mi-ran aids in persuading you, but it only adds fuel to the fire.

“oh my god! fuck off!” you yell in irritation, aggressively getting off the car and slamming the door shut on their faces.

you never look back, ignoring the shouts of your name and half-assed apologies. you don’t have the slightest idea about where you’re going — your feet have a mind of their own and they chose to go the opposite way of home. this isn’t how you envisioned your night. you just wanted to listen to the sound of the meat grill and complain about life giving you a taste of true love just to cut your tongue with it until you bled. was that too much to ask?

you’re about ninety percent certain that you just lost two of whom you treated to be your closest friends. you think of ah-young, and you briefly consider crashing at your best friend’s band practice, but you’re too exhausted to travel to the other end of the city.

with eleven seconds left in the timer, you cross the street with swift and long strides alongside a crowd consisting mostly of employees wearing the same navy blue uniform. at last, you’re among the bright and lively restaurants, the inviting smell of good food making your stomach sting with hunger.

it’s only taehyung who recognizes you when you unknowingly pass by, almost choking on his glass of somaek, the combination of soju and beer. with his career on the line, he is confident that he can recognize that balenciaga windbreaker anywhere and anytime. meanwhile, instead of talking about you, the youngest is drunkenly reminiscing about the alleged ghost encounters he had in their old dorms. their leader is tragically left to tend to the grill alone. he deeply regrets not dragging any of the older members with them.

“everyone, i think i just saw __-”

a grimace of cluelessness is plastered on taehyung’s face when jungkook claps once, enthusiastically pointing at him as if he just announced something inspiring and life-changing.

“you’re right, you’re right! that’s it! what i’m kind of trying to say here is…” he pauses, facial muscles relaxing into a gloomy expression. he sniffles and rubs his nose, making it a brighter shade of red. “when we move houses again, i won’t have stories like these to bring with me. the new ghosts will be my memories with ___.”

none of the other two dares to speak after that, the oddly satisfying sound of meat being grilled and the chattering from other tables occupy the uneasy and heavy silence. instead, they begin filling their own shot glasses with pure soju. namjoon is the first one to spill it down his throat, slamming it on the table before dishing out his phone from his pocket. by this time, all of them are already drunk, double vision blurry and speech a little slurred. they gave up on counting the green bottles and cans of beer a long while ago.

“shit, that was a good metaphor. i need to write that down.”

“namjoon-hyung, he’s crying again!”

jungkook’s head slumps on the table with a thud, hot tears escaping down to his temple as he laments. “i miss her so much. why did i have to break up with her the second we got home? why…? am i so impulsive? what do i do if… if she agrees that we- h-how am i supposed to live with myself after that…? i’m never going to love again.”

they shuffle apprehensively on their seats, but still, they tell jungkook what he needs to hear since he won’t remember tonight’s events, anyway.

that’s not going happen. she just needs some more time. i’m sure she’s missing you too. everything will be okay.

but it’s been almost two weeks of radio silence. their flight is in nine days, drawing nearer and nearer as if it’s purposely taunting jungkook. everyone is thinking the same thing, and everyone is afraid to say it out loud.

—

it’s 7am when his work alarm goes off. with a disgruntled noise, a hungover jungkook drowsily drags himself out of bed, eyes still closed as he swings the bedroom door open.

“oing?” he creates a noise of confusion when his arm bumps against an object. he blinks at the brown paper bag hanging on his doorknob, removing one of the handles to peek at its contents.

he buffers for a moment, staring blankly at his belongings safely tucked inside. there’s his black mini bluetooth speaker, tinted lipbalm, wired earphones, bucket hat, facial cleanser, moisturizer, and shampoo. these are everything he left on top of your study desk and in your bathroom. neatly folded on the side is his windbreaker, which he recalls as clear as daylight, how you reveled in its comfort the last time that you were together. the fabric softener you use has replaced his perfume, the cherry scent forming a rain cloud of nostalgia and longing above his head.

if this is a nightmare, he is begging for somebody, anybody, to break into the room and to bring him someplace where hope is not desolate.

his wounded heart, as his namjoon-hyung described, is experiencing an excruciating pain he never even imagined was possible. he now understands, why the broken heart syndrome is a real thing.

he can’t read you. is this your way of ‘reaching out’? have you kicked him out of your house, out of your life? for good?

the dread of losing you forever is gnawing at his insides. nausea almost succeeds in knocking him off his feet. his brain hisses with static. he panics at the disgustingly familiar sensation brewing in his digestive system, sprinting to the bathroom to spill out his guts.

they say that you don’t realize what you have until you lose it. that early morning, jungkook realizes that he’s only a human being after all.

—

“when did i put that there?”

you’re sorting out your dirty laundry after showering when you notice a tissue paper tucked in the front pocket of your denim jeans. you huff out a sigh, ripping it apart into tiny pieces over the trash bin with raging vexation. you will never understand how men thinks that these kind of stupid tricks are supposed to compel you into seeing them anywhere near attractive and desirable in your eyes. if anything, they make you feel unsafe and if your paths cross again, you will run the other way. great. another person in the lecture room to avoid. just fucking great.

at this point, you want to mockingly laugh at your own misery. just when you thought your day couldn’t possibly get worse, it fucking does.

you tuck yourself in bed by midnight, texting a friend about your joint presentation next week, and then rereading your conversation with namjoon from this morning for the nth time. you’ve been hoping it will shine light on the right path to take, because you’re still lost and hurt.

Namjoon:

he’s been devastated since

can’t this be sorted out?

stuff’s just been overwhelming and honestly i’m as anxious as him

i'm not trying to force you into getting back together with him ofc but please talk for closure atleast..

you’re also my friend. i think you need it too..

you scroll a bit further down afterwards, and your heart drops to your stomach when you see the three dots under the contact name ‘my jungkook’. you click on it as it beckons you to, only to allow time to flow like a river with no sea to kiss, idly watching the bubble appear and disappear, appear and disappear. almost everyday, you catch a glimpse of him at the very least, typing a message and never sending it.

the same goes for tonight, it seems.

his silence is torturing you. in the car, in your inbox, in your call history. a person knocks on the door and a part of you foolishly predicts that it’s jungkook not using his copy of the key out of respect.

you succumb to the yearning, heading to your shared media and files that you’ve been actively resisting for the past three weeks… for this exact reason.

you randomly click a video sent by jungkook three months ago.

“i know you’re in class but i’m too excited to show what i got you today!” he beams at the front camera, bunny teeth cutely showing. he picks up the first item from the hotel bed with his free hand. “you already own this book but this one got a different cover, see? it’s hardback? they say it’s a limited edition.”

he eyes it fleetingly, obvious that there is something else he is dying to mention.

“i won’t show it too close. you can look at it when i go home. there’s a little surprise inside.”

he scrunches his nose before teasingly sticking his tongue out.

“and then here we haaave-”

following that, he shows you an adorable fluffy white bunny with red eyes. it occupies more than half the screen, and without a doubt, it is soft and huggable.

“cooky’s new sibling! we found it at a gift shop and hobi-hyung said it looks like me.”

he presses his cheek to the bunny’s. “i accept. we do look alike, but my eyes are so much bigger.”

in the upcoming seconds, the video is muted except for his breathing. he plops down on the bed while ruffling his dark hair, staring at the camera wordlessly, evocative of when you catch him dreamily watching you study while you’re on a videocall.

“i miss you.” he smiles sadly, deep dimples appearing on his cheeks. “don’t forget to text me when you’re on your way home.”

he drops on his back, the firm mattress breaking his fall.

“mmmwah!“ he kisses the camera, and your screen freezes on the final frame.

the silence in the aftermath is defeaning. you tear your glasses off your face, burying your face in the pillows. you arrive at your final decision then and there. you don’t care. you don’t care. you don’t care anymore. you cannot bear to spend more of your days like this. his things that used to live here might be gone, but you look for him everywhere. you look for his car in the parking lot. you look for his hair when you see flowers. you wait for his name to be called in the coffee shop. on your way home, you linger at the playground where you used to usually meet.

because if your relationship with jungkook is truly doomed to fail, you want to watch its foundation collapse on the ground, burnt down to gray and black ashes that disintegrate when you try to grasp them in your hands… with good grace, it’s the only way for you to believe that there’s no more home to come home to.

with a trembling hand, you press the call button and for the very first time, you beg someone to stay.

—

jungkook’s breathing ceases, heartbeat violently racing in his chest. the ‘chimes’ ringtone tickle his ears, his phone vibrating incessantly in his hands. the two features he specifically customized in your contact settings so he will immediately recognize that it’s you who’s calling.

it’s been four days since you dropped off his things. and here he was, laying on his bed and struggling to find the right words to say because he refuses to believe that this is how it ends. the paper bag is still hanging on the doorknob. he hasn’t touched it since the first time. he doesn’t have the courage to do so.

fuck giving you space. he wants drown himself in you and never come up for air. he’s more than willing to suffer your anger or your coldness. he’s prepared to prove himself worthy of a second chance every second of every day. he wants to occupy half of your desk and half of your closet again. he selfishly wishes to be the first and the last person you fall in love with.

but until the very end, you’re the braver one.

“love?” your voice is quiet, barely audible, but it’s there, and he hears the affectionate term of endearment distinctly. “i’m sorry. i tried, i really did, but i couldn’t do it…”

“baby,” he falters breathlessly, half of him in disbelief, convinced that he has officially lost his goddamn mind and delusion is bleeding into reality.

“i tried living without you like you wanted- but i can’t-” you hiccup in between small sobs on the other line. “i love you, jungkook. i can’t live carrying around all this love with me. it’s too heavy…”

exploding and breaking apart, jungkook’s heart is a meteor that has entered the planet’s atmosphere, and he doesn’t know where to begin digging for the fragments so he can piece himself together again.

“we are too young and we don’t know what the fuck we’re doing and i love you too much. you don’t have to protect me… i’ll take my fair share of the responsibility, so just-” he hangs on your every word, and then you pause, your following words eliciting a powerful punch to his gut. “just let me love you and let me learn my lesson the hard way… let’s do that, okay?”

the walls of him room ebbs and flows in like the sea. he rests his forearm over his eyes, his skin gradually dampening with tears. he once promised himself that he would never put you in this position. he should be the one begging for forgiveness, repenting and crawling on his knees. but rather than wasting his time with surfing through another tsunami of self-blame, he reminds himself: i want to be a better man.

“okay, baby. let’s do that, hmm? let’s do that. it’s what i want too.” he coos softly with a hoarse voice. “are you at your apartment?”

you hum in confirmation, sniffling. “come home.”

—

a half-naked jungkook abruptly opens the door to yoongi’s room, wearing gray sweatpants with his left arm awkwardly inserted in one of the black t-shirt’s armhole.

“hyung! can i borrow your car? mine’s getting a check-up.”

yoongi tears his eyes away from the computer, hanging the black headphones on the nape of his neck. he merely shrugs before throwing the car key, and jungkook catches it in one hand with ease.

he sighs in relief, politely bowing his upper body to express his gratitude. “thank you, hyung.”

“what are you doing?!” yoongi half-smiles with fondness, jokingly waving him off. “just go- go. leave!”

—

jungkook nervously stands before your front door, head woozy with anticipation and fear. what if things have changed? what if your relationship never goes back to the way it was?

“oh. you’re back together?”

he whips his head back to find your neighbor arriving home from his part-time job. huh, he just realized that he has never really learned what his name is. the only information he has on him is that his sister owns a bee farm.

“how did you even know?” he asks with knitted eyebrows. “you haven’t been giving out honey again, have you?”

“she only accepted it once.” the stranger puts his arms up in surrender with a roll of his eyes. “and don’t make her cry again, will you? she blasts sad songs late at night.”

and with an unpleasantly forceful shut of the door, jungkook is left alone in the hallway. his jaw clenches as he glares at the next apartment, but he rubs his face to release his frustration before he goes to meet you.

“we need to move in together.” he grumbles to himself as he enters your unit, relocking the door behind him. he removes his sneakers, neatly setting them down beside your pairs of shoes by the doormat.

he pads on the wooden floor with his white toe socks, looking around the dark and quiet living room. a faint orange light is seeping under the gap between the floor and the bedroom door, which he recognizes to be your favorite mode on your multi-colored nightstand lamp. he cautiously cracks the door open, and he is instantly greeted by your curled up figure, peacefully sleeping.

it’s muscle memory when he hangs his backpack on the backrest of your study chair before anything else. he also brought the paper bag you sent, putting it down on the floor.

he squats down infront of you, lightly prying away the phone you’re hugging to your chest and placing the device on the bedside table. the light is shining over your skin, and there are a thousand of photos and videos organized into the most treasured folder in his gallery, but not a single one of them will ever do you justice.

god, he missed you so much. it hasn’t been two years, but the life he had before he met you feels like an extremely distant memory.

he sighs, talking in hopes that he appears in your dreams. “how do you do this? you make it impossible not to love you.”

he unconsciously frowns at the sight of your puffy eyes. never again. never again. never again. he chants inside his head. he plants a kiss on each of your eyelids, taking his time to bask in the feeling of your weight under his lips.

he climbs on the opposite side of the bed, tucking you underneath the blanket before securely holding you from behind with his thigh hanging over yours. the warmth of your body and the scent of your shampoo cures the headache that’s been bothering him the whole day. he drifts off to sleep soon after.

—

the feather-light brushes through the silky locks of his hair pulls him out of his slumber half an hour later. he can make out your silhouette through his half-open eyes, the little-mermaid-like scene feels too vivid for a dream.

“why didn’t you wake me up?” you whine, sulking with a pout.

“i’m sorry.” he answers quietly, sitting up to engulf you in a tight embrace as endless apologies tumble from his tongue. “i’m sorry. i’m sorry that i gave up. i’m sorry that i hurt you. i’m so sorry… are you angry at me?”

“i’m upset.” you admit after a few beats, not seeing the point in sugarcoating it. “it hurts when i remember you saying that. and i understand you but… but i don’t like that you decided alone for us. if you do that again… then it will be over between us.”

he has an arm wrapped around your waist, his other hand firmly holding the back of your head. it’s a little hard to breathe, but it’s so reassuring to feel that he doesn’t want to let you out of his embrace. because you hated it — hated how it felt like letting you go was so easy.

“i regret everything. i’m sorry.” he whispers, concealing his tears by nuzzling his face on your neck. “and you’re not a burden. that’s not true.”

he knows that you mean your every word, so he lifts up his head to gaze directly into your eyes, showing that he is as sincere and true to his.

“from now on, all i’ll think about is what i can do to make you happy and safe without compromising our relationship… i’ll do better. i’ll love you better. i promise that i’ll be stronger for us. i won’t make the same mistake twice.”

you wish jungkook could be kinder to himself, treat himself with the same gentleness that comes so naturally with you. why is it that humans find loving themselves so laborious? why does being have to come with such a curse?

taking glimpses at the past, you should’ve been reminding him of these affirmations everyday.

“you don’t have to be strong all the time. i’m not asking for that.” you shake your head, voicing out yourself in a tone so soothing and illuminating. “i don’t want to go anywhere far away from you so think of yourself, too. i told you before, it’s okay to hold on to me. i’m also strong.”

jungkook feels so safe at home. he doesn’t remember what he was so worried of anymore.

“and you know what? if you really see it that way, then i’m telling you now. i want to waste my time on you. you can’t stop me.” your threatening eyes widen in conviction, provoking a sheepish smile to tug at the corners of his lips. “i always get what i want.”

“and you want me?” he innocently points at himself.

“love you.”

“i love you.” he replies, nosing at your neck before leaving a chaste kiss on your skin. “so much.”

“then put yourself in my shoes.” you hum, combing his hair with your fingers, lightly tugging to initiate eye-contact. “i want to take care of you just like how you want to take care of me. i think we have something rare and beautiful…” you pause, self-conscious about coming across as too needy now that you’re face-to-face, but an epiphany shatters your apprehension with a bow and an arrow.

this is what he needed to hear from you that day.

“so stay with me.”

jungkook’s vision becomes unfocused. he’s speechless; the only sound in the room is the humming of the airconditioner, but it’s almost as if you can hear the gears of his brain working their hardest. the pain that glossed his enchanting doe eyes has been replaced with a devotion you’ve never seen expressed so passionately in them before.

“all the time i own is yours.” he declares, cupping your face, the pad of his thumb daintily stroking your cheek. “all of it. we can do anything you want to do. let me make it up to you.”

“anything?” your face lights up with joy and mischief, and the butterflies in jungkook’s stomach come alive. he wants to make it his life’s mission to make you smile everyday; and that, he will do. “then i want you to kiss me.”

the sultriness of your enticing voice makes him go haywire. it’s been too damn long. he has forgotten what it feels like to kiss you. he slowly inches closer, his lips brushing against your lips before he pulls you in deeper, a fervent display of his yearning and apologies. he swallows the needy moan that escapes you as he slowly lays you down on the mattress, stripping off his shirt and mindlessly tossing it somewhere when you impatiently tug at it with another whimper. you cage his face in your hands, bringing back his lips on yours as if he’s the air that you breathe.

he wants to grieve for all the wasted time because everyday, he craved for this. to be honest, he forgets his name when he’s kissing you. outside, the crowds scream his name for being the best at what he does best, and he happily lives for the euphoria of it all. but in this room, there is only you and him. you communicate using the unspoken language of love with your lips. you bare the soft animal in yourselves with your teeth sinking in the other’s skin. you allow your rawest desires and truths to unravel with a slip of the tongue. he exists beyond his name, becomes an indecipherable enigma even to himself. what is the use of an explanation if there is no meaning anyway? all he knows is that he loves you despite all the reasons, against all the reasons.

he sneaks under your shirt, fingertips teasingly exploring your skin as if he’s drawing a map. he feels you quiver when he finally reaches your chest, gently kneading the soft flesh in his palm. this makes you mewl in pleasure, arching your back as your hand unconsciously curls around his wrist, the cotton fabric separating the two of you. the action electrifies jungkook, makes him lose himself a little more, which he didn’t think was still possible.

“touch me, please- jungkook. need you-” you choke out a desperate whimper, nearly sobbing as you guide his hand between your thighs. you can’t bear to spend another second untouched; the last time you made love feels like an eternity ago. he slips past the waistband of your underwear, the only article of clothing you’re wearing below. but to your disappointment, he gently caresses your hip bone instead of dipping his long fingers into your wetness.

“shh, hold on, baby-” he forces himself to break away from the kiss, swollen and red lips glistening with spit. “baby, look at me. you didn’t drink, right? i don’t want to take advantage.”

you gape at him with your chest heaving up and down, dumbfounded. “how could you even think of that right now?”

his eyes widen in panic, worried that he might’ve offended you. “no, no, no-” his palms skim your thighs, guiding them to wrap around his slim waist. you gasp when he presses up on you and his hard length rubs on your folds, sending jolts of electricity up your spine. a gush of arousal dampens the thin material covering your center.

“i want you so fucking bad that it hurts.” he gingerly wipes away the tears that you didn’t even notice streamed down to your temples. you can’t remember the last time you cried before today, they must’ve gotten tired of asking for your permission. “but you were crying when you called, baby. i had to make sure.”

“oh, my boyfriend is such a gentleman.” you muse dreamily. pepper his face with delicate kisses, lips curving upward with an adoring smile. “look at him enjoying my kisses.”

you playfully squeeze his cheeks together, making his pillowy lips pucker.

“you really wanted to break up with me in this case, huh? you wanted to live without me and my kisses? no way.”

his eyelids flutter open, and he shakes his head as he dips down to kiss you. “it was hell without you…” his teeth captures your bottom lip, nipping at the supple flesh. “going to build a life with you. i’ll build furniture, and they’re going to be ours.”

“good. you better.” your high-pitched giggles bounce off the walls as his lips trail down to your neck, licking a bold stripe over your ticklish spots. “i don’t have the patience for it, but i’ll be your trusty assistant.”

it’s ridiculous, how even the sound of your laughter turns him on even more.

—

jungkook learned that you finished your exams yesterday, having spent majority of the past two weeks pulling all-nighters to prepare for them. you seem to be confident about the results, the way you talked about it without concern. he never once doubted that you’re resolute and persevering, but acing your exams in the middle of a breakup is beyond what he can digest. it must’ve been a grueling experience, he can only imagine.

he presses a sweet kiss to your forehead, and then your lips, before dragging the blanket higher over your naked figure, a thicker one he brought out from the cabinet. poor thing, you fell asleep on his lap while he was drying your hair, incoherently murmuring about how tired you are.

he walks to your study space, fixing the loosening towel wrapped around his waist. one by one, he pulls out the items from the paper bag, returning them to their old places on your desk. he toothily grins at the windbreaker, ecstatic due to his plan on wearing it at work today. he wants to give it back to you smelling like him again.

an index card lands on the ground when he unfolds it, making him peer down in curiosity.

“what’s this?” he mumbles, bending down to pick it up.

jumbled thoughts. a letter shoved at the back of the mailbox. a hesitant confession. a bittersweet reminder that says: a wound does not magically disappear overnight. it requires the proper treatment to heal correctly, and even then, it might still leave a scar.

These are only a few of many. Why is this the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do? I’m usually the more logical one. Was it really so bad that we weren’t going anywhere?

and messily crossed out at the end,

I miss you.

—

taglist in the reblogs! send an ask / dm if you want to be added (or removed) :D

—

#jungkook #jungkook fluff #jungkook drabble #jungkook scenario #jungkook imagine #jungkook one shot #jungkook fic #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x you #jungkook x reader #jungkook au #bts fluff #bts reaction #jungkook angst #jungkook smut

3K notes · View notes

dialoguestetatet · 7 months

Text

Windbreaker characters (separate)

Can you buy me pads

Takeda Kaneshiro; Noah Austin; Vinny Hong (Hong Yoo Bin); Deokbong Kim (Monster); Wooin; Shelly Scott; Gyuchan (Monster crew); June (Junsu Lee); Sangho Choi; Hyeok Gwon; Owen Knight; Minu Yoon; Ryohei; Sung Kwon; Hajun (Joker); Harry Shepherd; Dom Kang; Hwangyeon Choi

masterlist

Why does it look like they're texting each other? 😭 I tried to include as many characters as possible 😥

407 notes · View notes

koiiiji · 6 months

Text

random windbreaker headcanons

tw : no, kinda cute, x reader not included

⊹ Wooin believe in mbti types, if it says that someones mbti type doesn’t match with his, he will believe it.

⊹ Hyok ultimate stand is pokemon. he wants to be pokemon.

⊹ Harry actually dog enjoyer who prefers animals to people bc they are loud and use doping. and dogs don’t use doping. Noah always argues with him bc actually cats are cooler.

⊹ Mahon was super naive person in some ways. like it was enough to say something with straight, serious face and he will believe it.

⊹ Sangho drink water or strong alcohol like whiskey, vodka, soju or something that have degree higher than 30°. nothing else. it always either water or alcohol. and he hates cocktails. if u guy who drinks cocktails u r gay, his honest opinion, i just asked him!!

⊹ Juhwan actually have a shark. there is an app, where you can “buy” a shark and you can see its location. so Juhwan owns two sharks, their names is Bobby and Sam. he was really upset when Bobbys tracker lost and he can’t see his shark anymore :( Bobby was his favorite one

⊹ deep inside Juwon really lonely person, so partly he actually enjoys that he have Vinny’s company and at some, really rare moments actually think about him as his younger brother (then he have a call from his partners from dark business and everything goes back)

⊹ Juwon actually get tied of people really fast, so he doesn’t really have friends, only business partners like Sangho and some people like Umi, who was with him in university

⊹ TJ have tiktok playlist that contains hard brazilian phonk, the ones from epic anime edits, and he listen it in headphones and imagine himself as an anime hero

⊹ Minu was questionable about his preferences. before he met Mia he always spent biggest part of his time with boys from zephyrus and June, and he wasn’t interested in girls around him. he used to think maybe he had a crush on Vinny or June.

⊹ Aria really enjoys history classes and have best marks at this subject.

⊹ Vinny doesn’t understand concept of dating. like you just met random people and start see each other every day and then maybe marry and have kids? are you insane? you just see random person and think “oh u cool, u r my boyfriend/girlfriend now”. he genuinely think people are weird.

⊹ Shelly 100% high fashion enjoyer and maybe even wanted to be a model, but she is not tall enough, so before coming to Korea she was insecure about her height.

⊹ aside from apples Hajun enjoys cucumbers. they are like apples in vegetables world.

⊹ Kaneshiro hates iqos. same with sangho, either normal cigarettes or pipe with tobacco. no third option.

⊹ Jay Jo enjoy Gordon Ramsay shows. especially old “kitchen nightmares” where he travels across US and mock cafe owners.

183 notes · View notes

ivelle-serenity · 4 months

Text

Skateboard 5

Wind breaker

author's note: i'm sorry if you're being impatient for smut, trust me, I was too. I just need the fml to interact with the boys. They say slow burn is at its finest.

✧˖° — windbreaker men

✧˖° — mdni, smut, description of not safe for work content.

✧˖° — this is a story not one shot.

Jay followed my instructions, his movements more fluid this time. "Like this?" he asked, glancing at me for confirmation.

"Exactly," I said, smiling. "You're getting it."

For a moment, we were both silent, just standing there, him on his bike and me beside him. The tension from earlier seemed to melt away, replaced by a comfortable understanding.

"Thanks for the tip," Jay said, breaking the silence again.

"You're welcome," I replied, feeling a bit more at ease. "Just remember to keep your elbows wide and your grip firm. It'll help you stay balanced."

Jay nodded.

As we rejoined the rest of the group, I couldn't help but feel a sense of accomplishment. Interacting with Jay had been nerve-wracking, but it also felt surprisingly natural. Maybe joining their crew wouldn't be so bad after all.

I bit my lower lip as I realized June, Dom, Minu, Yuna, and Mia had been watching us the entire time. I felt so embarrassed! They must have been surprised, especially after our training where we warmed up with a 180km bike ride from the city to the countryside. It was exhausting, but I enjoyed it with them.

After our training, I noticed Jay practicing the tips I gave him, so I went over to help. But I didn’t expect the rest of the crew to be watching us!

"Wow, you're getting close to the foreigner. How come you always attract foreign girls?" June laughed, crossing his arms. Jay ignored him, continuing to drink his water.

"Damn, good thing Demitra can speak Korean. That blue-haired girl, I couldn’t understand a word she said!" Dom complained while wiping his sweat.

Blue-haired girl? That sounds familiar.

"You know her too?" Jay asked quietly from beside me, though I knew his friends were listening.

"Nah, I don't think so," I forced a smile. He looked at me for a long moment, as if trying to gauge the truth.

Minu cleared his throat. "We noticed you were teaching Jay. It seems you know a lot of biking skills?" he asked. Mia nodded in agreement.

I looked down at my bike, balancing without holding the handlebars. "Just a few," I said. Dom gave me a doubtful look. "I used to love doing tricks on ramps." I added.

"You're talking about the ramps at the skatepark?" June asked, eyes wide with shock.

I rubbed the back of my head, feeling embarrassed. "Yeah, that's my specialty."

Mia's jaw dropped. "If I'm not mistaken, are you one of those bicycle riders who do tricks in the air? Like spinning around?" she asked, stunned. I nodded.

"That's dangerous, right?" Dom asked June, who nodded in disbelief while looking at me.

"But of course, I don't use those in tournaments. Actually, I don't do those tricks much anymore. I'm more into sprint riding, like what Dom does," I explained, looking at Dom. Jay adjusted his posture, clearly interested.

"You also know some techniques for sprint riding?" Jay asked, and everyone looked at him. I laughed softly.

"Maybe a little?"

"You're just being humble," Yuna gave me a sharp look.

"Isn't it unfair that you’re teaching Jay but not us?" Dom said dramatically. Jay avoided his gaze and got on his bike.

"Well, I would love to help you—"

"It's too late. We need to go home now," Jay interrupted, making me widen my eyes.

"What!? Oh come on, man! Don't be so selfish!"

"What do you mean 'we'? Are you taking Demitra with you?" Minu clarified, locking eyes with Jay as if they were having a silent conversation.

I remembered our last conversation before the training session. Jay had offered to help me with my Korean literature studies. I even asked him where we’d study since it wasn't allowed at my place! Plus, I've never brought a guy to my apartment; my roommates might assume Jay is my boyfriend. How embarrassing would that be? Thankfully, he volunteered his place since he’s not allowed to stay out late either.

"He’s going to help me with Korean literature and history." I interjected into their conversation.

Mia chuckled. "You seem to learn quickly, judging by how well you speak Korean! I know you can do it."

"Just the two of you?" Minu asked Jay seriously. Jay looked at him without any emotion, but I could feel a strange tension.

"It won’t take long! Don’t worry!" I quickly added.

"Well, good luck, Demitra! Jay isn't the best teacher, you might give up halfway!" Dom laughed.

I noticed Jay had already started biking, so I hurriedly got on my bike and waved at everyone. "See you tomorrow!" I called out cheerfully before following Jay, who was ahead of me. I pouted. Why was he in such a hurry?

I followed Jay because I didn't know where his house was. He was quiet, but I guess that’s normal for him. I couldn’t believe Shelly liked this type of guy. It was very unusual for her.

I was deep in thought when we arrived at a large house. My jaw dropped in shock at how big his house was. Was this where he lived? Wow, he must be rich.

"Just park your bike here," he said, snapping me out of my thoughts. I nodded and did as he said, parking my bike next to his.

Without another word, he walked inside. I bit my lip nervously. Was he not going to invite me in? It felt awkward just walking in unannounced. What if his parents were inside?

I was startled when Jay came back. "What are you still standing there for? Come in," he said before turning away. I pouted.

"Who’s with you, Jay?" I was surprised to see a small boy wearing glasses. He seemed just as surprised to see me, his cheeks turning red. "W-Who..."

"Turn off the TV if you’re not watching," Jay told him. He went into what I assumed was his room, leaving the door open. Was that where we’d study?

"It's nice to meet you, Jay's brother. Hi! I'm Demitra!" I introduced myself, holding out my hand. Jay’s brother just stared at me, his face red. I frowned and forced a smile.

It was so awkward because Jay's brother didn't say a word. He was just staring at me like he was looking through my soul. I forced a smile. "I'll head in now," I said awkwardly before walking into Jay's room.

"Your brother is weird," I said to Jay, setting my bag on the table. I watched as Jay organized his things.

He didn’t respond, instead handing me three books, one of which was a dictionary. I frowned at the books.

"What is this?"

"A dictionary," he said, as if stating the obvious.

"Yes, I know it's a dictionary. What's it for?" I raised an eyebrow. "I’m struggling more with Korean literature and history than the language itself."

His expression didn’t change. "Your Korean isn’t that good," he stated. My jaw dropped. "Maybe that’s why you can't understand our lessons about history."

"Hey, take that back! You understand what I’m saying! Even your friends!"

He shook his head. "It’s lame. I can barely understand you."

I dramatically held my chest. "Whatever, no offense, but Japanese is easier to learn than Korean."

"I agree."

I couldn’t believe this guy! I let out a sharp breath before sitting down. The contents of the books were overwhelming. This was harder than physics. Why did I end up in Korea? I glanced at Jay, who was staring at his phone.

"Are you going to teach me or not?" I raised an eyebrow at him. He looked at me boredly.

"Read that first."

"How can I read it if I don’t understand it?" I said sarcastically.

He stared at me for a moment before sighing and putting his phone down. He took the dictionary from my hands and replaced it with a larger book.

"Start with the basics," he said. When I opened the book, my jaw dropped. It was the Korean alphabet!

"Oh, come on, I already know some of these."

"Some? Then you should know all of these," he said, placing the book on the table. I cursed inwardly.

"Now I understand why Dom said you’re a terrible teacher," I grumbled, starting to read. As usual, he didn’t respond.

"How did you get a girlfriend when you’re this quiet?" I muttered while reading. "Huh?" I glared at him.

"It’s none of your business."

I rolled my eyes. "I heard you’re a player. How come Shelly doesn’t get jealous?" I teased without looking at him.

"Those are just rumors."

I laughed softly and continued reading. I glanced at Jay, who was now looking at his phone. Without his glasses, I realized how handsome he was. His mullet haircut suited him. No wonder many girls liked him.

Besides being handsome, he was good at biking and wasn’t very talkative. Some girls might prefer a quiet guy as a boyfriend, thinking there’s less chance he’d cheat because he’s so reserved.

My heart almost stopped when he looked up, and our eyes met.

"If you keep staring at me, you should just go home."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Is this how you treat girls? So rude," I muttered. "I was just about to ask you something about what I’m reading, but never mind."

He cleared his throat. "Show me. Where are you having trouble?" He must have heard my muttering.

"Forget it. I just remembered the internet exists. I’ll search for the meaning," I said, grabbing my phone.

He was silent for a moment.

"That’s a consonant. It refers to a double s," he suddenly said. My eyes widened when I realized how close our faces were. He had leaned in to look at the book. I could literally feel my heart racing. I was still distracted by how close our faces were to each other, so I didn't even notice what I had searched on my phone.

"Too late, I already looked it up," I whispered.

"You shouldn’t use your phone while studying."

"Well, genius, if you were a better teacher, I wouldn’t need to."

I continued reading, trying to push away my distraction. I couldn't help but feel Jay's gaze on me, and the thought of our eyes meeting again made me too embarrassed to look up. Is this what it's like when you like someone? I sighed and tried to focus on what I was reading.

As I went through the Korean alphabet, it felt more familiar, like I was revisiting what I had studied before deciding to come to Korea. It refreshed my memory. Maybe the reason I struggled with Korean history was that I had forgotten the correct way to read their language.

"Vinny..." My forehead creased at the name. "You know him? You’re friends with the Sabbath?" Jay suddenly asked.

And now I was doomed.

"No, I'm not, especially Vinny. He hates me."

He paused, clearly puzzled. "But he said you’re his friend."

"No, he’s just bluffing," I said with irritation.

"They are dangerous. You should stay away from them."

Well, it's too late. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't just walk away now. Wooin helped with my parents' debt. I can't just abandon him. Even though I'm confused about why he did it, I still choose to serve them.

"Are you saying your friend is dangerous?" I asked seriously.

Jay didn't respond, his expression unreadable. I know he is old friends with Vinny. So why would he warned me from him?

I sighed, feeling the weight of the situation. "Look, I know it's risky, but I owe them. Wooin helped my family when no one else could. I can't just turn my back on that."

Jay's eyes flickered with something I couldn't quite identify—concern, maybe? But he remained silent, his gaze steady on mine.

Finally, Jay spoke, his voice softer. "Just be careful."

I nodded, appreciating his concern. "Worried for me? Aw," I teased. "I didn't expect you to have this side to you." I continued to tease, but he remained serious, shaking his head. I couldn't help but laugh, knowing he was probably feeling embarrassed by my comments.

Actually, studying with Jay isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I expected him to give me a hard time, but it seems like it's just his personality to be reserved. I suddenly paused. What if he isn't really like this, especially with Shelly?

Oh, come on, Demitra. Why should I care about that? I frowned, feeling irritated with myself.

I was jolted from my thoughts by a knock on the door. Jay stood up to answer it, and I almost froze when I saw a middle-aged woman. From her appearance, she looked like Jay's mother! I quickly stood up and bowed.

"Good evening, Ma'am," I greeted her. She gave me a cold look. Now it made sense why Jay always had that cold expression on his face. He inherited it from his mom.

"You didn't eat dinner again?" she said sternly. I looked at Jay, confused, but his face remained emotionless.

"We're studying," he replied shortly.

"You didn't eat breakfast, and I know you didn't eat lunch at school either," his mother said angrily, but she paused when she noticed me.

"Let's talk in the living room."

"I'm fine. Just leave," Jay said.

"Jaehyun," his mother said firmly, leaving Jay with no choice but to get up. I was left alone in his room.

My heart pounded with worry about what I had witnessed. Was Jay going to be scolded? Was it because of me that he hadn't eaten dinner? I hadn't eaten dinner either. Damn, maybe it's my fault he missed his meal. His mother should be scolding me, not him!

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shintaru · 3 months

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characters I’ll write for + tags ~ prompt list

Who wants to be tagged for which characters when I post the finished project?

Fic REQUESTS CLOSED

Windbreaker:

Juwan Jang 🦈 TJ

Yumi

Kazuma Takeda

Sung kwon Monster @jesusownsme @cozyunderworld

Mahon Jo

Humming bird

Jo Jay @ankita607

Junsu Lee / June Lee

Minu yoon

Shelly Scott Dom kang @cozyunderworld @samuelseowife

Sabbath

Hyuk Kwon @inosukehana Wooin yoo @cozyunderworld Vinny hong @ankita607Joker (Hajun) @cozyunderworld @inosukehana

Light Calvary

Owen knight @catsrkool @rossesnd Camilla Nelson

Harry shepherd

Chris D’ Char ~ @rossesnd @cozyunderworld @inosukehana

Noah Austin

League of street

Sangho Choi @cozyunderworld @koiiiiijiii Hwangyeon Choi @koiiiiijiii

Juwon ryu

Kazuma

Kenji ikusaba

Kaneshiro Takeda Ryohei Hachijō Hyōma Nagase

Lookism:

Daniel Park @koiiiiijiii Vasco @koiiiiijiii Jay Hong @koiiiiijiii Zack Lee @koiiiiijiii Jace Park @koiiiiijiii Jiho Park @koiiiiijiii Mary Kim Vin Jin @koiiiiijiii Jaegyeon Na @koiiiiijiii Samuel Seo @vynnyll @samuelseowife @koiiiiijiii @dessmq Eli Jang @koiiiiijiii Johan Seong Jong Gun @vynnyll @koiiiiijiii Joon Goo @koiiiiijiii Jake Kim @vynnyll @koiiiiijiii DG @eugueen @koiiiiijiii Eugene @koiiiiijiii Ryūhei/Nōmen @koiiiiijiii Magami kenta @koiiiiijiii Seonji Yukcho @koiiiiijiii Cho Yisu @koiiiiijiii Cheon taejin @koiiiiijiii gongseob ji @koiiiiijiii gapryong Kim @koiiiiijiii jinyeong park @koiiiiijiii

Jinx:

Jaekyung Kim dan Heesung Yoon gu Baek Junmin

Kuroko’s basketball:

Tetsuya Kuroko Taiga Kagami @cozyunderworld Junpei Hyūga Teppei Kiyoshi Ryōta Kise Yukio Kasamatsu Shintarō Midorima Kazunari Takao Daiki Aomine @cozyunderworld Shōichi Imayoshi Atsushi Murasakibara @cozyunderworld Tatsuya Himuro Seijūrō Akashi Reo Mibuchi Makoto Hanamiya Kotarō Hayama Katsunori Harasawa Chihiro Mayuzumj momoi satsuki Alex Garcia

Naruto:

Gaara @aishabbbb kankuro Sasuke @aishabbbb itachi @aishabbbb Kakashi hatake jiraiya Sai Pain sasori orachimaru

blue lock:

Michael Kaiser shidou Ryusei Meguru Bachira Rensuke Kunigami Yoichi Isagi Ryosuke Kira Zantetsu Tsurugi Reo Mikage Seishiro Nagi Rin itoshi Sae itoshi Jinpachi Ego pablo cavazos ikki Niko Akira Endoji Jin Kiyora Jingo Raichi Oliver Aiku

one piece:

Luffy @ydkm00 Sanji @hi3431 Zoro Law @nah-idwin Eustass Kid Boa Hancock Nami Nico Robin Shanks Portgas D’Ace Vivi Nefertari Crocodile Smoker Donquixote Doflamingo Paulie Dracule Mihawk Koby Pell Hina Sabo Katekuri Koala Perona corazon

Bsd:

Osamu Dazai Chuya Nakahara Saigiku Jouno Atsushi Nakajima Doppo Kunikida Ranpo Edogawa Poe Bram Stoker Ryuunosuke Akutagawa

Hell’s paradise:

Gabimaru Aza chobe Aza Toma Yamada Asaemon Shugen Yamada Asaemon Sagiri Yamada Asaemon, Tenza Yamada Asaemon, Shion Yuzuriha

Haikyuu:

Miya atsumu @cozyunderworld Miya osamu Aran ojiro Semi Eita Suna Ushijima wakatoshi Tendou Oikawa toru Tanaka Mad dog kyotani Kentarou Kunimi Akira Bokuto Koutarou Akaashi Keiji daishou suguru Nishinoya Kuroo tetsuro Kenma Kageyama tobio Hinata shoyo Tsukkishima kei Terushima yuji Kita Hoshiumi Yamakoto Lev haiba Haiba Hiroo

jjk:

Gojo Choso Toji Yuta Sukuna Naoya that one hot guy with the mask Nanami

Hsr:

Boothill

Genshin:

Aether Childe ZHONGLI scaramouche Kaveh alhaithum

Windbreaker anime:

Burning kabaddi:

@duaajpeg Tatsuya Yoigoshi Kei lura Masato ojo Shinji date Ren takaya Manabu Sakura Yu eikura Yuuki hitomi

Bleach:

Grimmjow Ichigo Renji

Black clover:

Langris vaude Leopald Julius Vangeance Yuno Nozel Asta Luck Magna Klaus Jack Zora

Outer banks:

Rafe JJ Pope

Batman:

Bruce Wayne (bale) Dr. crane (cillian)

Harry Potter:

Draco Voldemort Fred George Harry

Suicide Squad:

Joker (Leto) Harley (Margot)

Jojo’s bizarre adventure:

Dio

Narancia

Anasui

Giorinni

Josuke

#windbreaker webtoon #windbreaker x reader #windbreaker #lookism webtoon #lookism #lookism x reader #jinx #jinx bl #kuroko no basket #knb x reader #Spotify

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louisupdates · 3 months

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Glastonbury 2024

One Direction’s Louis Tomlinson stages impromptu England match screening at Glastonbury

After festival organisers refused to screen Euros clash, pop singer bought flat screen TV and generator from Argos on Sunday morning and set them up in camping area

Gwilyn Mumford | 30 June 2024

Festivalgoers at Glastonbury were given the opportunity to watch England’s Euro 2024 last-16 match against Slovakia by an unlikely figure: former One Direction star Louis Tomlinson, who livestreamed the game in the festival campsite on a flatscreen television he’d bought from Argos earlier in the day.

Glastonbury officials had announced earlier in the week that the match would not be shown at the festival due to clashes with performances on the major stages, forcing fans to find enterprising ways to watch it. Tomlinson was more enterprising than most, purchasing a flat screen TV and generator on Sunday morning and streaming the game using wifi. He said that he had initially intended to watch the game in the hospitality section but was thwarted by spotty reception, so brought the TV to the main festival site instead.

“It’s the second screen I’ve bought,” Tomlinson told the Guardian during extra time. “The first got cracked. I wasn’t going to take credit for it because it looked like we were going to lose in normal time, but now that we’ve equalised I’m happy to.”

By kick-off a sizeable crowd had gathered on a thoroughfare near the Pyramid stage to watch, with Tomlinson sat with friends towards the front. Initially festival staff had been concerned by the gathering, fearing that it might lead to a crush with attenders leaving the Pyramid stage. Staff said that some fans had been abusive when they said that the impromptu screening would have to be ended.

However, a compromise was found, with Tomlinson’s screen eventually angled away from the thoroughfare. There were cheers as the crowd safety officer confirmed that the screening could go ahead as planned.

For much of the game the mood was tense in the campsite, with England a goal down and struggling to break down a stubborn Slovakia backline. Tomlinson, dressed in a retro England windbreaker with a cross of St George’s flag wrapped around his neck, briefly had to intervene when the stream cut out in the second half. After frantically working the remote control, fans were able to resume watching.

Their mood was lifted further when Jude Bellingham equalised for England in injury time, prompting wild cheers and the brief appearance of a flare. England eventually won the game 2-1 with Harry Kane scoring the winner in extra time.

Tomlinson has had a long association with football. A lifelong fan of Doncaster Rovers, he made an appearance for the club’s reserve team in 2013, and was briefly involved in an attempt to buy the club.

He initially shot to fame with One Direction, who had a hugely successful career after winning TV talent show the X Factor – between 2010 and 2016 they had four chart-topping albums in both the UK and US. Since going on hiatus, Tomlinson has switched to a more indie-rock style, releasing two studio albums. The most recent, 2022’s Faith in the Future, reaching No 1 in the UK. He also founded his own music festival, Away From Home.

#the guardian #louisglasto24 #louiseuros24 #euro 2024 #glastonbury 2024 #louis tomlinson #30.6.2024 #louis press

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birdybomb · 4 months

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My shop is soft opened!

For now it will be open for the month of June only. I will be adding new items throughout the next week.

((Keychains still to add: Windbreaker, Spiderverse, Hells Paradise, Blue Lock, Paradox Live, Evangelion))

Will also add prints in the near future. I will keep updated!

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slvttysstuff · 9 months

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REBOUND chapter 4

Chapter 1

https://www.tumblr.com/slvttysstuff/738042134255583232/rebound?source=share

Chapter 2

https://www.tumblr.com/slvttysstuff/738478643741884416/rebound?source=share

Chapter 3

https://www.tumblr.com/slvttysstuff/738741624067244032/rebound-chapter-3?source=share

Warning: mention of blood, jealous jay, grammatical errors

Summary: months after shelly and jay broke up he found himself in a relationship with you while he hasn't moved on yet from his past lover (shelly)

¤.•⨳•.*☆✬✬☆*.•⨳•.¤⊹

The tournament had already started once again, and here you are, along with Dom getting the medical team aid the two of you after having a incident while racing with those douchebags, you're maybe confused on how we got into an accident, to make the story short, those scorpion screw played us dirty

They took advantage of Dom and I while we're racing inside that tunnel, dom's tire got punctured resulting of him and I falling together

" Hey! To your left! " Vinny and I yelled, " huh? " Dom muttered but was too late when the guy in black helmet and gray hoodie puncture Dom's tires resulting of Dom falling and landing forward, I was at Dom's back so I don't have the time to react or to dodge him making my bike bump into his and just like what happens to him, it happens to me also, landing on my poor face

" Y/n! Dom! " I heard my team yelled worried, I slowly sat up and looked at them blood dripping in my head and cheeks " don't worry a-about us! Just focus and go!! " I yelled

" hey y/n I'm sorry it's my fault that you also got into this too " Dom said while the medics were putting some ointment on our wounds, I chuckled at him " don't be an idiot, it's fine it's part of the race " I chuckled

I hissed when I felt the ointment on my wound " luckily it was just a wounds and a few scratches nothing too worst " the medic explained to us " but I still recommend the two of you to take a rest " and after that they left, we were there alone sitting

" do you think they'll beat them up? " Dom asked looking at me, I looked back at him, his face caught me off guard I tried to suppress my laugh, his looks right now is very funny the bandage all over his face he looks like a mummy " of-ofcourse " I answered bitting the inside of my cheeks looking away

" what happen exactly between you and jay? " Dom continue, I knew it, not long they'll start asking me what really happened between me and jay and all I have to do is to answer it " I think you all notice it already " i said looking at down at my legs " notice what? "

" the reason why we broke up, I thought it was already obvious" I said " I think I know,but I'm not sure if I'm right..." he was hesitant " was it because of shelly? " Dom asked, I let out a small smile, he got it right

" yeah " I shortly answered before sighing, hearing her name makes me heart clench " jay hasn't moved on from her yet " I explained " he's still attached to her " I continued, tears were starting to fall from my eyes as I looked up not wanting it to fall

Dom looked at me with pitiful eyes, " I'm sorry you have to go through with that, I know jay's reason wasn't valid, he just got attached to shelly too much, but trust me y/n jay loves you.." Dom said, I looked at him and was about to say something when

" DOM!! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!!? " yuna yelled as she pushed the crowds and went to us, Dom's face quickly change as he acted as if he was hurt

" y-yuna! It hurts so bad! " He complains like a child, I looked at him with ' wtf bro' look as I saw how he quickly changes when it comes to yuna, of course that's because he likes her, I looked away not wanting witness their cheesiness especially Dom

" Team Scorpion at the lead and it doesn't look like team hummingbird can catch up! " The spectator announced as Dom and Yun grew worried but I have my faith in them especially minu, he was the one who planned all of this, he was the brain of our team

" There are no rules this time and we have to race with those asshats, which means it will be more dangerous " minu explained, he looks at me " y/n I think it's the best if you won't participate this round first, it's too dangerous" minu said but I shook my head

" no, I'll participate, I don't care if it's dangerous" I disagree on what minu said, the others gave me worried looks but I ignored them

" y/n I think you should listen to min- "

" jay i meant what I said, This is my decision, if something happens to me it's my fault" I glared at him making him shut up, he just sighed

" a-anyways, I was thinking..." Minu started

" let's say jay sprints early alright? If you do that no doubt they'll come after you first and take you out so..." Minu paused as he thinking some strategy " I want you two to shake things up a little at the beginning" minu said looking at Dom and Vinny

" in the meantime me, jay and y/n we'll stay at the back and pace ourselves, and at the last course I'll start sprinting and break their tempo then jay that's when you sprint "minu said " I'll stay at the back of Dom and try to block them- "

" It's too dangerous " jay once again interrupt my words, I closed my eyes inhaling the air " I don't care! If it's dangerous or not! If it's for winning the team then I have to do it " I argue with jay once again he looks at me " we can win this without you putting your life in danger, you knew they would play dirty on us" jay said keeping his calmness on my stubbornness " I know what I am doing! Stop treating me like a god damn elementary kid! " I yelled " I'm not, I'm just tell- "

" jay enough, I think Y/n's right, Dom needs someone who'll block the enemy, and even if it went wrong, we can still continue our plan " minu said

" why are you agreeing in putting her in the red- "

" why don't you let y/n decide for her self? She's not a puppet that you can control anytime you want." Vinny interrupted looking coldly at jay it was clear that he was irritated to the black haired boy " guys I think it's not the right time to argue, let's just hope nothing will happen and just focus on the race okay? " Dom said trying to cool down the argument that was already boiling up

" Hey y/n " someone called making me look who it was, " y-yeah Yuna? " I answered " we were calling you 5 times, are you alright? " Yuna asked completely worried, I nodded at her " I'm fine Yuna thank you " I said giving her a small smile

" 800m To the finish line! We're almost at the end of the race and team hummingbird is speeding up like crazy!! " The spectator announced

I stood up and went to the crowds to watch, minu was doing his strategy,

" Mini Yoon from hummingbird just went solo from his group! " The spectator said, minu went solo as he caught up with those fuckers, taking the lead once again, after sometime jay started sprinting leading the race all the way, cheers and applause can be heard after jay takes the lead

" AND FOR THIS ROUND! TEAM HUMMINGBIRD WON!! With 4.76 seconds lead!! " the spectator announced, a faint smile formed from my lips after hearing the announce of winners, I went back to the place where Dom and yuna are and sat back " I told you they will win " I said to Dom grinning at him, we went to were June is,

his arms were still injured thats why he didn't get to participate the match, then there we saw the three of them walking on our way " good work guys " June congratulate " I shit my pants " Dom said while doing a thumbs up, I laugh at his comment " You did a good wor-

" how's your wounds? What did the medics say about it?" Jay suddenly went to me and start checking on my wounds that were already bandage

" i-its fine, a few scratches they say, but I'm fine " I stutter looking away as he was looking down at me, worried was evident on his looks, I noticed the others giving us the looks making me uncomfortable, I moved away " so! Minu! Your strategy really worked! " I said trying to light up the mood " yeah it does " minu said as he scratch the back of his neck

" remember what you said to us before? " June asked as minu looked at him, confused

" when you told us you weren't Gonna practice with us anymore, I mean when you said you're just a third wheel to our team " June explained, minu looked at us as if he already remembered what June said

" oh that was.." minu started

"minu you are, our teams brain " June finally said as I nodded in agreement to what June said

" huh? What? Burain? "Dom who's confused to what had June said asked as he also asked yuna

" oh..thats ridiculous" minu said scratching his head while Mia was cheering for him

" Y/n what burain? It sounds dope " don mumbled to me and yuna, yuna poke Dom's forehead " he's talking about this " yuna answered but Dom was still confused, his reaction makes me laugh

" listen guys " minu called making our attention turn to him " I got something to tell you all " minu started " I've been meaning to tell you this guys" minu continued as he slowly took Mia's hands holding it " we're dating " minu announced but none of us reacted cause it was completely obvious except for Dom and june who's utterly in shocked, even though they haven't told us yet, they were already obvious

i noticed the two of them blushing " we already know! " I chuckled I went in front of them holding their hands that was already holding into each other " I gave you my blessings " I muttered like an old lady making the others laugh except for jay and Vinny who's looking at me

" the fuck you doing idiot you look like am old lady giving blessings to married couple " Vinny called as I looked at him glaring, I let go of their hands " congrats! " I said smiling at them

" how did you guys find out we haven't even told you yet " minu said " it was completely obvious" yuna explain as minu and Mia laughed

" so do you guys wanna hang out at my house? I'll cook or we can order something! " I suggested, Dom immediately agreed " I'm on it! Let's take a house tour at her house " Dom suggested as the others agree as well

as we started to head out and Dom's bodyguards were waiting for us, Dom told them that we will head to my house

" hey Dom are you alright? You fall really hard earlier" June said as he sat on the car " I'm fine it's just a few scratches " Dom said assuring us the he was alright..

#jay jo x reader #shelly scott #vinny hong #windbreaker #windbreaker angst #hummingbird #dom kang #jo jay #angst #minu yoon #Yuna yoon #June #Dom Kang #Vinny x reader #Racing #Mia

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