#just a person trying to find the best and happiest way to exist and share stuff she loves

[rorichuu]

OMG HELLO!!! i see that u do tf2 and i’d love to request smth hehehehheheALSO ur account is so pretty what ?!?!

but i hope you’re well dude! can i request some relationship headcanons with some (or all!!) of the mercs pls? or any basic headcanons !!

take your time btw:)

the tf2 mercs in a relationship + headcanons

pairing: mercs x reader (gender not specified)

authors note: MY FIRST REQUEST WAAAHH also oml thank you, you’re so sweet :( some headcanons coming your way! ... also i apologize if they're ooc, this is my first time writing for them:'(

disclaimer: minor spoilers for the comic in heavy's!

Scout:

i’ll be honest, when scout found out Miss Pauling was a lesbian he was pretty beat up for a while

that was until he realized other people exist!

he literally follows u around like a puppy dog when he realizes he has a crush on you

ALWAYS TRYNA RIZZ YOU UP LIKE SCOUT PLEASE WE'RE ABOUT TO GET BLOWN UP BY THE ENEMY SOLDIER

his love language is definitely physical touch and words of affirmation

and is ungodly touch starved

i can see him trying to find ways to touch you, and not in a sexual way... just either grazing your arm when he talks to you, or he stays shoulder-to-shoulder with you when you sit next to each other

he finds it very very comforting

and if you tell this man he looks very handsome or just occasional i love you's, he'll fold ong

his heart melts and he just wants to hold you till he can't anymore

but i think Miss Pauling and Scout would be pretty good buds after the whole "Scout constantly flirting with Miss Pauling" thing died down

and his confession was pretty cringey ngl

his crush on you was very evident so when he tries to ask you out, you say yes

(skipping down the halls with joy)

bisexual icon

Soldier:

oh man

this dude's flirting is... so hard to detect😭

but a lot of his attention is on you!

and makes a lot of exceptions for you

for someone who doesn't like loud noises and is very sensitive to outside stimuli, if you're like me and he notices it, he'll definitely find a way to be more quiet

like if you and the rest of the mercs are lined up and notices you're cowering or anxious asf, he's goes soft and let's you go

if you thank him or say you appreciate him for his efforts, his face is SO RED.

but he salutes you and said he was happy to do for a fellow compatriot

(his hearts beating so fast help him pls)

BUT if you're just as loud and upbeat as him/share his energy, he's in heaven

he loves that you like to blow shit up with him?!?! like omg this is my lover and i will marry them on this battlefield right now.

love languages is totally acts of service

like if you save this man from the enemy he's blushing so fucking hard like omg i love you

with his confession, it was straight forward and to the point (but he was beet red ... basically my hc on him is that he blushes very easily fhjrebjh)

also gender doesn't matter to him, he loves who he loves

Pyro:

HUBBA BUBBA

i love pyro sm :3

anyway

best lover!!!

gifts and quality time!!!

alwwaaaaaaays giving you gifts like omg all the time

your reaction is her FAVORITE

like they'll find a flower burnt to a crisp or a homemade corpse bracelet and he'll have the brightest aura

LOVES MAKING CRAFTS WITH YOU OMG!

jumping up and down if you give her something

like she's the happiest person in the world

bonus if you share a love for fire

campfires/bonfire dates!!

and you're probably the only one who understands him (alongside Engi, of course) so your conversations are endless!

and is suchhh a sweet tooth

such a soft and loving partner!

when pyro confesses (and you accept) he's leaping with joy quite literally

BIG HUG :)))

asexual royalty!!!

Demoman:

holy moly

VERY DRAMATIC WHEN HES DRUNK AND VERY CLINGY

which is a lot of the time cause yknow, very much alcoholic

but when he's sober he's pretty level headed NFJHBJ (comics for reference)

idk man he gives off best friend kinda lover

like he's always so hype and the best to be around

so when he found out he had a crush on you, he was pretty much head over heels

when he's drunk he's always holding you

hugs, kisses, hand holding, slumping on you

NAPS!

omg the best to nap with ong

BRO IS A FUCKING HEATER he's always so gd HOT

so if you're taking a nap with him don't get a blanket he's legit sprawled all over you

but it's kind of a different story when he's sober (he gives you your space but def rolls around in his sleep)

oh boy his confession was definitely when he was on his 100th drink

his confession was SO SLURRED

if you said yes he's over the moon

Heavy:

honestly, this man is a huge softy

and VERY protective.

have you seen him in the comics? he was 100% ready to kill a man over Medic's death (and just his natural protectiveness, like his family for example)

but dude his love language is for sure acts of service and physical touch

when he realized he had a crush on you, he always kinda stuck by you on the battlefield

even with the high of combat, his eye always finds youuu😭

i love heavy sm

and its quite obvious this man doesn't speak much, unless in his native tongue (which isn't often)

so even if he doesn't say anything, he'll for sure stand by you or take your hand

if you have anxiety, this man is SUCH a comfort

also you'd def be the one to confess

if you asked him out or asked to if you could be his partner, he is kinda shocked but is very very happy :)

lets you hold Sasha

no label, love is love

Engineer:

AUGRRHHRR SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY

i'm so deeply in love with this man omg someone sedate me

but anyway

is SO polite and is SO PATIENT

he absolutely adores it when you visit him when he's working

it gets lonely sometimes because he focuses best when the others aren't around (aside from pyro) ... but when he realized how much he loved your presence, he expected almost every day for you to visit him at least once

(gets bummed when you don't)

but if you have a genuine curiosity for what he does and what it means, he tells you ALL about it!!!

he understands it can be very confusing if you haven't studied engineering/computer science, etc... so he is more than happy to explain it to you :)

BARBEQUES!!

loves cooking for you and would sooo wear a "kiss the cook" or something cheesy like that (he finds it funny and hopes to get a smoochy)

quality time quality time quality time

and pet names

omg pet names

"love", "darlin'", "sweetheart", "buttercup"

HIS CONFESSION OMG

i can kinda see engi being a bit cheesy honestly

his confession would be pretty casual! he wasn't too stressed about asking you... and would probably slip the question in mid-convo !

rfhbrtgbj much love for this man

pansexual!

Medic:

I'll be honest here

his love is lowkey highkey possessive

but i think it'd either take a while for him to realize his feelings for you or would become attached VERY QUICKLY

there's zero in between

with his deep love and possession, he finds such deep fascination with your anatomy/body

not even sexually bro

he just thinks you're so incredible and puts u under a microscope

PHYSICAL TOUCH

this man hasn't felt the touch a person in years (aside from the mercs' checkups obviously)

and übercharge, if it was a love language

worships u ONG

loves to see you with such confidence when he activates the übercharge omfg

he thinks you're the most attractive thing he ever laid eyes on

confession? nah yall kinda just started dating; yall kinda just started happening

let me explain😭if someone was tryna ask you out, medic would be pretty quick to step in

uses his height to his advantage to let the person know what's up 😨

bisexual with a def male lean

Sniper:

at first you would definitely think sniper hates you

he wouldn't purposely avoid you, but he like spends zero personal time with you at first

he's always in his van and istg u wanna drag him out and force him to tolerate you

(and he'd probably find that very attractive if you did)

but if he found out he has feelings for you? oh boy oh boy

acts of service 🔛🔝

if you were in close combat with someone and you tripped, the enemy having the upper hand... you'd hear a sudden gunshot in the enemy's skull and a loud thud.

but before you could look up, he was nowhere to be found (you knew it was him and you were very appreciative)

if you brought it up to him OH MY GOD his face would be soooo red soso red

"Don't worry about it, mate..." HIDES UNDER HAT HIDES UNDER HAT HIDES UNDER HAT

the most bisexual man i have ever seen

Spy:

too suave for his own good dude

his love is very old-fashioned!

when spy finds his massive crush on you, is when he realizes the comfort of your presence

if you can have comfortable silence with spy is when he is totally connected/in love with you

smoking out the window/evening night conversations!

also when i tell you this man gets so flustered if you one-up him...

he'll wave it off and play it mad casual but on the inside he's malfunctioning

would definitely take you to the best, high-class restaurants and walks you home omg

HAND KISSES FOREHEAD KISSES

loves to spoil you holy shit

always buying you stuff (jewelry, clothes, shoes, personal things you like... he bought it already)

which btw love language is definitely gifting and quality time

def bisexual like cmon

.

.

.

rorichuu!

[srbachchan]

DAY 5843

Jalsa, Mumbai Feb 16/17, 2024 Fri/Sat 4:03 am

Many send greetings and wishes for Basant Panchami - the day Abhishek was born, was that auspicious day - and all obviously desire a response ..

But the volume of work is large and time consuming, hence an acknowledgement here on the Ef platformic Home ..

The day begins in the hours of laziness .. and matures to some discussions on management .. not having any presence or education in this rather complicated sphere .. it never has, or never shall be, understood by the rest ..

But .. the argument is that just when you become a recognised face, an entire Universe is created around it ..

For, it is assumed that the individual has been gifted with solutions and answers to all that needs them .. at birth ..

Wrong !!

No .. we are not proficient for this job or work .. dumb as hell and immature in its outlook .. we consider the advice given by those in the echelons of management ..

But choosing the right people, and extracting the work protocol from them is another management task ..

So there is reliance on others of trust to find and appoint such to be able to manage affairs, without giving any stress to the creator .. in a sense giving the individual an apparatus that gives the personality, relief from day to day running of his schedule and curriculum and protocol .. and an entire gamut of work now being handled by the TEAM - an oft used word in today's times .. bringing sufficient relief for the professional to have the freedom of thought and mind to conduct what he or she feel about their work .. and to be conducted in a manner that takes care ..

When my own choice of recruiting individuals has been, and is, a most trying experience .. I would be the happiest to find that my management, looks after, all else and gives me peace of mind to concentrate on what is believed to be my forte ..

😒

It is all very well to conceive and ideate what creatively may be of interest to me .. but does it also attract a similar sentiment with the rest .. is what my dilemma is !

In today's world there is no dearth of set ups, organisations in consultancy , that take charge of the situation and brings the joy and independence, from what seems to me to be far too complicated ..

I also feel that, many offer services in their grace towards me .. and I never feel comfortable to be seeking obligation from any other, even when the gravest condition is blown upon , coerces you to share the issue with those that are in proficiency related positions ..

Yes, there are dime a dozen organisations that readily take up this job and bring it to fruition .. but how to demonstrate to them what is it that gives comfort .. for, there is no time for trial and error .. now ..

And ever the fear , whether I am losing something or not, in having gone about it in a systematic professional manner ..

Many give opinion, that if the boat sails safe and comfortably in the oceans of the existent Universe .. why rock the boat at all ..

And the dilemma again .. in finding out that what was before, was the best methodology, than what is being desired now ..

Ahh .. life is so complicated .. !!

And then the learnings from Babuji and the return to his thoughts and wisdom .. make way and suddenly everything falls into place ..

For I am certain whenever any of us has faced an issue, the first thought that comes to mind is .

"what would Babuji and Ma have done in such decision making situations .."

And suddenly everything falls into place ..

The human psychology ever thrashes any fixed or formed ideas, and thoughts on issue ..

The most oft repeated being ..

" when I have 1x .. how has the other got 3x ..

And this becomes the base of diffident thinking, which propels one to compete and fight to beat .. and win ..

BUT .. just as you have succeeded in this trail and laughing your way to the bank , nature throws another sidewinder gauntlet moment , challenging all that you may have felt comfortable with ..

Hence either you get out of bed and determine the mind and body to fight .. or merely accept the condition, lie back quilted , and reminisce the days gone by ..

Remember .. enough is never enough ..

Love and more ..

Amitabh Bachchan

[moodymisty]

Hello. I'd like to leave a request. So recently I was listening to "River" by Bishop Briggs so I thought, what if someone danced to this song for Crosshair? The idea is, reader is Batch's doctor and enjoying a few days on land she goes out with some friends to 79. The boys arrive later and they all sit together. It's happening live performances at 79, singers, dancers, but none can really rock the bar, you know? Reader's friends comment on her dancing skills, making Crosshair laugh and daring her to get up on stage and dance. Pissed with him, the reader accepts the challenge and during the performance comes to dance exclusively for him, teasing him. I would be the happiest girl if you could finish it with a smut. xoxo

Author's note: I find it so funny when people come into my asks with such specific prompts, I feel like I'm trying to make someone's daydream come true XD I hope you enjoy kind anon. I'm not a going out night type of person, but I hope I captured that fun confident energy this prompt has :3

Relationships: Crosshair/Fem!Reader

Warnings: NSFW, dancing, Mentions of alcohol, Sex in a bathroom, Slightly rough Sex, Unprotected Sex, Porn with just enough plot i can barely saw it's not pwp

Sometimes you wonder if there's a specific word for how you feel whenever you get back to Coruscant after a long while away.

Time feels like it passes so fast, but yet so, excruciatingly, slow.

It's been roughly two months since you've been back on solid Coruscanti ferrocrete, and it feels like you've been gone for two years. When you'd once joked about it, Hunter mentioned that it was how they'd all felt shortly after graduating from cadets and being send out into the field, so maybe it had something to do with light speed travel. Or something of the sort.

Either way, unimportant. There's drinks that need to be drank.

Some are just water while some are varying degrees of hard liquor, all spread across the table in a lazy, unorganized fashion.

You'd first told your friends about 79's after the Batch had invited you here for the first time, and you were eager to share. It's a nice place all and all, you enjoy the energy. Some of the other dive bars around the nearby districts, at least the ones that don't charge half a fortune for every sip, tend to attract not so friendly people.

79's is cheap, easy going, and the troopers are flirty- but keep their hands mostly to themselves.

Before you'd left Hunter had mentioned that they might be coming close behind to get a bit of a rare break as well, gods know they probably need it just as much as you do. So you've been glancing at the doors every now and again, looking for that brushed black armor for the past hour.

"Are they even still coming?"

You'd casually mentioned their potential coming a few minutes ago; And one of your friends, the one with a real penchant for bad boys and not the best decision making skills when five or more drinks deep, is very eager to meet them.

They know which one to avoid flirting up, anyways.

"They'll be here. They're usually pretty late anyways. If something came up, I'd be getting the same call as them." You are in their squad after all, so if they have to go out on a sudden mission, it would be extremely doubtful they'd even consider leaving without you.

But speaking of them...

Not minutes later you finally see them enter, easily spotted by their dark palette contrasting with the sea of white plastoid. They always stand out, and at least in this particular setting, they enjoy it readily. Quickly you all move to find a spot where you can all sit together, making sure to bring your drinks, both new and already half down, with.

Needless to say the Batch livens up the party significantly, which was a much needed boost given the slow state of the night so far.

For awhile the live music and show had largely been existing in the background; A good show, but nothing worth maintaining your entire attention. Especially since now that your favorite troopers are here, it's even less so important.

But now that it's currently between acts, it seems one of your friends has gotten herself a devious idea.

"Why don't you get up there and show them how it's done? Like at that one bar on-" You quickly shush her before she manages to regale a tale you don't exactly want retold in this state, rolling your eyes. But it seems the mention of a story has already caught particularly Crosshair's interest, and she quickly goes about spilling the memory once you no longer stop her.

"There was a open mic night at this one bar, and she killed it. Everyone thought she was a paid performer." Quickly she gestures to the stage, which is surrounded by tipsy, flushed faced clone troopers. They're awaiting the next performance, if there's even going to be one. Your friend speaks up again, pleading with you while Crosshair and the rest of the Batch look on curiously.

"Come on! It's open! Go up there!"

You're not exactly opposed to the idea, but you also don't feel like leaving the party behind so to speak. You're just about to shake your head and refuse again, when Crosshair speaks up at your side. He's been leaning back in the seat the whole time, one of his arms lazily against the back of the seat elbow close to your shoulder and forearm dangling down.

"Oh come on, gonna leave everyone guessing now that we know your little secret?"

Crosshair has his eyebrows raised, watching you. It's clearly bait as he sets it out like this all the time, but you're in the mood for taking a bite.

"Maybe I will. The mystery will make me seem even better than I am."

He rolls his eyes, and with a distinctly sarcastic flavor to his voice, responds.

"Whatever makes you feel better, Doll."

Now a little miffed despite you are the one who bit his fishhook, you scrunch your face and look at him, while he seems almost overwhelmingly smug. When you ask why, he responds with:

"Mystery?" A scoff. "Why don't you just say you're too scared?"

Well now he just wants a fight.

You don't know what comes over you at that point; Maybe it's the vibe, the drinks, something else or all of it combined, because it feels like a blink from being there under Crosshair's arm, to convincing the bouncer to let you at the mic.

Thankfully it doesn't require much, as it seem all the rehearsed performances were finished for the night, and now the mic was pretty much open to anyone willing and able to give it a shot.

Considering you that person, you take it into your hands and decide to give it 110, hoping to at least shut Crosshair's fat mouth.

The rest of it is all a blur; A series of sung words and perhaps some dancing that might not of been entirely appropriate, had the crowd not absolutely ate it up.

Whats the point in singing and not dancing anyhow? You think, hips shaking from side to side in a slow but perfect pace with the beat of the music. Once the first song finishes, you feel enough of a high that you decide to do another, and it doesn't seem anyone is going to complain at you for doing so. It's a bit of a slower one, so you can't exactly help the way your body sways unconsciously back and forth with the music.

Mid-song however you take a look upward and spot the Batch far in the back, Hunter, Wrecker and Tech turned at the waist an arm over the back of the seat to watch. Crosshair however as you eyes locked right on you while you sing-

And he is fucking furious.

At least it seems like he's fuming, it's sometimes hard to tell. Though it's pretty safe to say he's more affected by this little stunt, to say the least.

You don't go back to the booth once you finally manage to sneak off stage through demands for more, as by the time you enter the hall to go wash up in the bathroom quick, you find Crosshair is leaning by the wall waiting. When he spots you, his body rises off the way in a way that gives away how tense his body is, shoulders straight.

He must've come back here the moment you left the stage, intent to cut you off and steal a moment with you alone.

"You looked like you were having fun up there." His tone is tense, but you respond to it with your usual quips.

"I did. And did you like the show?"

Normally saying those sorts of things is how you try to disarm his attitude, but it only serves to make it worse this time, as you smile at him with the confident smirk of a job well done. You feel positively bubbly now after having that much fun, and seeing Crosshair stewing over what you assume is his failed dare.

The show had all been for him, so he better have enjoyed it. Not to say you didn't enjoy preforming. Maybe your friend didn't have such a bad idea after all; You wouldn't be so resistant to doing so again if the opportunity arose.

You take a few steps closer to Crosshair, anymore and you'd be brushing chests, seeing his pursed lips.

"What?"

You barely have a chance to say anything else before he grabs you shoulder and kisses you, his other hand reaching for the handle of the refresher door. It's empty, and so he pushes you in, locking it behind him near instantly. By the time he does his mouth is already back against your own, teeth brushing against your bottom lip.

There isn't much room to maneuver at all in here; It's so tight being really only meant for one person. As such in order to get a bit of breathing room you end up on the countertop, knees parted to let him in the moment you're able.

You'd originally come with a coat, but having long since shed it before going up on stage, Crosshair has unimpeded access to the soft skin of your neck.

"Cross!" You say when his hands grip your thighs tight, squeezing the soft flesh beneath his gloved palms.

"Everyone's gonna wonder where we are..." Your sentence fades off, feeling his lips on your skin and the coldness of the mirror on your back. The hem of your skirt has already gotten pushed up nearly to your hips from sitting in this position, and it only takes one tug from Crosshair to fully send it there and reveal your underwear.

"I don't care."

You didn't really expect him to, but his strained comment is still amusing none the less.

His lips roughly trap yours again in a kiss as he fumbles to remove the one piece of armor he needs to, throwing it aside with a loud thunk as it hits the ground. There's not a care in the galaxy for it right now, as all of his attention is on you.

You can't help the soft sigh that leaves your lips as you feel his hand brush over the heat of your cunt, as he tries to tear away your panties. When he realizes you have stockings on over them, he lets out something you can only describe as a growl in frustration.

"How many fuckin' things you got on under there?" You can't hold back the small giggle you let out.

"In a hurry?"

It'll be easier- and faster, if you kick off your heels, doing so before Crosshair loses his patience and just tears runs all the way through the razor thin fabric. The heat of his fingers is palpable through it, as he pulls your stockings and underwear in one bunch down to your hips. You have to rise up on your palms a bit to try and help, before they get yanked down enough that they dangle around one ankle.

Swearing that you can feel his nails make little dents in the skin of your ass even through his gloves, he grasps your hips tight and yanks you to the edge of the countertop and even a bit over, legs dangling precariously before they wrap around his hips. In that moment you can feel his hips grind against your almost of their own accord, and the feeling sends a jolt right to your clit.

The fabric of your dress is a deep red, perfectly matching the splash of worn red paint that adorns his armor; Exactly what you'd thought when you'd bought it. You're glad it's served you so well so far.

"I'm pleased you liked my little dance so much,"

You say with a laugh, feeling him fumble with the fabric of his body glove just out of view. One arm wraps around his neck, fingers playing with the short grey hair at his nape, while the other tries to keep you steady and on top of the countertop. Not as if Crosshair would let you fall, anyhow. But it still is in the back of your mind, within the tight confines of the refresher this isn't much room at all and if you stretched your legs out fully, you'd just be able to touch the opposing wall.

"Everyone did. They couldn't look away from you."

Oh, so he's a little jealous, you think. Never thought you'd hear him near admit he was fuming over some drooling shinies, but there's a first time for everything.

"Who cares about them; It was all for you." You didn't care that anyone else had been looking at you but him, even beyond the stupid dare.

Freeing his cock from his body glove you feel the heat against your bare thigh, stealing a quick kiss and feeling the tiny bit of stubble dotting his jawline. It'll be gone tomorrow so it's military appropriate, but for now you can enjoy the rough feeling on your skin as his fingers brush against your cunt.

You have to inch even closer, more precariously so his cock can press up against you, teasing your entrance as as your cunt drips. Your legs are lazily wrapped around his hips, and only tighten as he slips inside of you, the rough edges of his armor stiff against your skin.

He doesn't really have much else to wear beside it, not that you mind its being on.

"You're the one that dared me,"

He hears you whisper his name under your breath as he pushes his way into your cunt, over the sounds of more random music outside the door. Though you can't hear it for much longer; As it's drowned out by the sound of rough panting and clothed skin on skin, muffled by the fabric of his body glove. It quickly becomes stained a darker black from where your cunt drips onto it.

"I dared you to go up there and sing," He grits his teeth in a rare lapse of stoicism, hissing through. "Not do that." A rough jerk of his hips cause you to gasp, as he feels like he's going to drive right into your stomach. The angle makes everything tighter, so much closer, and your cunt flutters around him.

"So I can't do that again?" You sound breathless, but the mirth in your voice still shines through.

He scoffs, lips on the corner of your mouth.

"Just do it where only I can see you."

The air between you both is thick with hot breath and flushed skin, and you'd love nothing more than to rip this dress off if not for the fact that you aren't at your apartment- you're instead getting railed in the bathroom at 79's.

Your chest feels like it's going to bounce out of your bra from the way he's fucking you; Having to adjust top of your dress to avoid it spilling out. It's not back in presentable fashion and would be quite easy to tell how your evening's been going, but right now you could barely care.

You just want to cum fast and hard, eager to chase that peak as Crosshair tries to drive you into the mirror at your back.

You're going to feel it in the morning if he keeps this up, feeling the way his cock grinds against your already battered, oversensitive nerves. Hell, you're already feeling it right now; Your muscles ache tight, fingers prying at the edges of his plastoid armor. If he didn't have it on, he'd surely have nail marks on his shoulder blades.

"Gods, fuck Crosshair, I'm so close,"

Your stomach is tight and twisting in knots, and your swear you can feel your heartbeat in your cunt your thighs shiver and shake. Your head lolls back hitting the mirror as you moan, legs tightening around him as your orgasm wracks your entire body.

He keeps fucking you through it even if slowly, driving his cock as deep as he can given the position. But even if he did slow, there's still an aggressiveness, a desperation to it all. Everything is in the heat of the moment, even his almost incomprehensible mumblings, some that are your name, and others praises that he'd feel to open saying out loud without an aura of cockiness.

His hand grips the back of your dress enough to leave wrinkles and probably be close to busting one of the seams, pulling you bottom close as he fully bottoms out inside of you. His hips slow to an inconsistent, shallow movements as he finishes inside of you, some of his own cum leaking out around his cock as he slows to deeper, longer thrusts while his body ratchets down.

When he finally stills, body now far loosen and relaxed than he'd been minutes ago, you still feel the way your cunt flutters as your muscles ache from use.

"Let's go back to your apartment." He suddenly utters out, still slightly out of breath. Your head rests against his shoulder, the cold plastoid cool against your flushed skin.

"Can I get my coat and say goodbye to my friends before you usher me into a taxi?" Crosshair rolls his eyes and the corners of his mouth twitch upwards. You don't disagree that perhaps somewhere more private is a better place to be, and you slowly attempt to pull up your stockings and underwear enough to hop off the counter; Crosshair not helping, but ready in case you stumble. Once on the ground you're slipping up your underwear, feeling the slickness of your cunt dampen them ever so slightly.

"Was that dance not good enough farewell?" You roll your eyes. Your one heel is easy to find, the other takes a moment to slip on sounding strained as you bend over to put it on.

"Like I said; That was just for you." Crosshair doesn't respond, looking away as his pursed lips twitch in thought. It takes a moment to adjust the hem of your dress, before you feel ready enough to reach for the door.

You quickly rush to grab your things and say goodnight to everyone, attempting to defuse any curious questions as to your absence post performance. Tech tries to inquire as to Crosshair's absence, but the sniper quickly snips the conversation stating he just needed to tell you something, before saying he needs to grab a taxi and removes himself from the firing line for anymore questions.

And now he needs to bring you home, conveniently enough.

Wrecker seems disappointed that two members of the party are leaving, but once more food and drinks arrive in front of him he quickly gets over it. He'll probably be too drunk to remember most of the night anyways, and Hunter will end up the same if Tech doesn't cut him off.

After getting a 'stay safe' from Hunter it's a quick jaunt outside into the cool evening air, when Crosshair is standing with a hailed Taxi stopped right behind him. He's looking right at you, leaning against the outside as you come closer.

"All finished?" He says, arms crossed. You watch as he moves to the side to let you in, and you just look up at him and smile as you slip in, saying:

"Maybe."

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[softspiderling]

softspiderling masterlist

collection of EVERYTHING I’ve written so far. Everything that is on this blog. the fandoms are chronologically ordered, most recent are up top.

drabbles

fics

we always find a way (to make it out alive) | read here beacon hills holds a lot of bad memories for you. you’re still not sure how you let yourself be persuaded to go back.

fics

boy you write your name (I can do the same) | tba

series

1989

drabbles

how you first met (and how you became more)

you're dating (but no one knows)

you're married (but in secret)

you pick him up from the airport

fics

songs about girls (like you) | read here Jake has finally returned from his mission.

how do you love somebody else? | read here the one where you and Jake are exes.

get like me | read here the one where you defend Jake's honor.

five kisses | read here five kisses with Jake

never knew (that I could fall so hard) | read here You and Jake are friends. Just friends

wingman’s best friend universe

all the fics below are part of the same universe, but can be read as stand-alone fics!

hooked from hour one | read here the one where you share a mutual friend, but are unaware of it

baby, you down? | read here your best friend is a naval aviator, but apparently so is the guy you've been dating? Yeah, funny how life works.

cruel existence | read here you get hurt at work and Jake spirals

drabbles

you're married (but in secret)

fics

summer days (drifting away) | read here Bradley bumped into you at the beach and then just keeps doing it

speak now (or forever hold your peace) | read here it’s supposed to be the happiest day of your life.

cross my heart (hope to die) | read here it’s easy to fall in love with Rooster. It’s a bit harder to be in love with him.

drabbles

natasha "phoenix" trace

you're married (but in secret)

pete "maverick" mitchell

he likes you (but in an annoying way)

fics

pete "maverick" mitchell

do you believe in love at first sight (or should I walk by again) | read here the one where you keep running into Maverick.

bradley "rooster" bradshaw x jake "hangman" seresin

period troubles | read here their daughter gets her first period and Bradley and Jake lose their minds

spinning out (waiting for ya) | read here the one where Kinsley gets stuck at school and Bradley struggles trying to calm Jake down.

fics

you mocha me crazy | READ HERE Summary: an encounter at a coffee shop leaves you with more than a cup full of coffee

summer days | READ HERE Summary: it’s just one of those rare summer mornings. They were Tom’s favorite

five signs you’re too close to your boss | READ HERE you liked being the personal assistant of the CEO of Holland Enterprises. But sometimes you wondered if you were too close to your boss.

dance your worries away | READ HERE Summary: when you signed up for a beginners ballroom dancing class with your boyfriend, you hadn’t expected to be standing without a dancing partner. But then again, life has a funny way of working out

things you left unsaid | READ HERE Summary: having casual sex with Tom despite having feelings for him? What could go wrong?

put in love and don’t give up | READ HERE Summary: honestly, you never pegged Tom for the kind of guy that ghosts people, but here you are. Ghosted.

will you find me (afterlife) | READ HERE Summary: the five stages of grief start with denial and it didn’t seem like Tom was going leave that stage anytime soon.

honest feelings and bad timing (COMPLETE) | Teaser | One | Two Summary: It’s always been you, Tom and Harrison. A package deal. But sometimes things change.

series

swanky fortune (in progress) last updated on 31st of October 2019

Teaser | Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight| Part Nine | Part Ten | Part Eleven

Summary: When you clicked the ‘donate’ button on the GoFundMe page, you never would have expected to actually win. But are you going to take advantage of the opportunity or will you embarrass yourself in front of your celebrity crush?

of broken promises and heartbreak (COMPLETE)

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR

Playlist (with songs including: Crazy To Love You, Rescue Me, Sucker and Never Really Over)

Summary: It’s been six years since you and Tom broke up, six years since you’ve last seen each other. A lot has happened, Tom got insanely famous, making countless billion dollar movies, attending one red-carpet event after the other. But now he was attending one event, he wasn’t sure he was ready for. Your wedding. And he wasn’t attending as your groom.

fics

need a ride? | READ HERE Summary: just because you were at a country club, doesn’t mean you had to behave well

Talk To A Stranger! | READ HERE Summary: you liked talking to strangers. Well, when it’s not in real life, that is.

no air | READ HERE Summary: Short breath, panic flooding through the veins, sweat trickling down the sides. Peter knew the symptoms of a panic attack just all too well after a fight with a certain villain from space. Didn’t mean he knew how to prevent them, though. Luckily, you were by his side to help.

series

heavy burden (Silk/MCU AU) hiatus

Teaser | Part One | Summary:you liked to live your life like you want it, but there was always someone who stood in the way of that. Always.

[whateversgnarly]

Before we meet again

Dear Punk, If you see this before I see you, know that this isn’t how I wanted it to be. This isn’t how I wanted you to find out and I have been figuring out how to tell you for the last 48 hours and then some. I need you to know that I tried. That I tried for years to figure it out and beat this. I need you to know that I am stopping treatment and that this is going to take me down pretty quick. I need you to know that I am sorry that I didn’t get to beat it. I’m sorry that we never got to have the life we talked about and that I ruined the relationship we had. I’m sorry that I wasn’t the person you needed me to be, that I didn’t put more effort into adapting to the lifestyle that made you happy; because all I ever want, truly, is for you to be happy. You deserve the world and then some and I wish that I could have helped give that to you. 

I know, I know, this sounds like a goodbye. And I think in some ways, it is. I think this is me letting you go because I have held onto you or the idea of you for some time now and it’s not fair to you or to me. I held onto unrealistic expectations that maybe somehow we would work it out and get to share the life together that we talked about over all those late night conversations. Memories of conversations like that play back in my mind like old time movie reels and I find that at my lowest points, those are the things that bring me back to present. 

I still remember the first time I met you, this insane flooding of feelings that came rushing over me and the sudden urge to quit and run out the door flooded me because the intense pull I felt overcame every rational decision I could have made. I remember the first time I met your partner, how I instantly did not like her and even worse how she treated you. I remember the first party we were at together, I thought you didn’t like me and were avoiding me. The second party, I often try not to remember. I was blacked out and crossed and made decisions I regret. Kissing your knee, was the highlight of that night. I remember the next morning thinking I would never see you again because of how stupid I was. Seeing you walk through that door still brings the biggest smile to my face just thinking about it. 

I remember the early stages of dating you, the first time we kissed, the sleepovers, the absolute happiest I have ever been. You felt like home, feel like home and safety and dating you was the first time it ever felt like dating my best friend. You me and Kai really did make a little family all our own. I miss the family we had created. I miss you in every sense of the word. Even if we were just platonic together, I miss you in my life. 

I want to thank you. To thank you for existing in my life, for teaching me how to love myself better and how to love others better. I need to thank you for saving me in more ways than I can count. Picking my bleeding body up off the ground, holding space for me in my darkest days and for all of the times I came running to you as my safe space. Most of all, I need to thank you for loving me and for letting me love you. 

You, are and will always be the love of my life. I will never love anyone a fraction of the way I love you. I saw a whole life with you. Doggos and a house and a life that felt good for us both and I am sorry that I ruined that. I couldn’t let go of the monogamous lifestyle or dreams of getting married someday. Please know that I didn’t want to control you or who you loved or how you loved, marriage was something I had wanted since I was a kid, to promise my all to someone and to have a healthy love. I know we talked about kids briefly, and the love we had was one I genuinely wanted to teach them. A healthy love, a kind and patient love. Not like the ones you and I grew up watching. I love you and I hope you are happy and being loved in all the ways you deserve to be loved. 

You know, we used to listen to All I Ask by Adele and I never thought much of it. I never really listened to it that closely but I loved hearing you sing it. I listened to it today and I think for the first time in my life, it held such a different meaning. It held so much more weight. 

I do not know when I will see you next. I do not know if it will feel different, the same way our texting feels different. distant. I do not know what comes next. I do know that I can say with confidence, you are the most beautiful soul that I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, of loving, of existing with. There are so many things I could say to you but for now I will just say; I love you, goodnight. 

Love, Loser

[fakegamercomics]

If this is too personal feel free to ignore. I'm trans and have been trying to transition, but its very difficult in a rural area. Evey year I don't is a year of second guessing myself. It doesn't help that transphobes play with statistics and try to tell horror stories about people regretting their transition. You used to think you were a trans woman, but then realized you were non-binary and missed some of the masculine traits. Do you regret it heavily? Like does it feel like the end of the world, or are you overall more happy with the choices you made? I get the feeling I'm probably more nonbinary, but I want to be fem, however I worry that might be simply because I'be never had that side to explore.

transition regret, etc... is largely just misinformation!

i transitioned for 8 years, i'm still on estrogen/t-blockers. i probably will be for-ever? i don't regret transitioning and being on hormones, cus it's made me a lot happier & i've gotten to explore my relationship to my body. a lot of my reasons for exploring more nonbinary - ungendered - masc gender feelings is tbh trauma.. and i don't want surgery and i don't believe in gendering bodies, don't care about passing as a woman to others, etc.. so i didn't have a roadmap to follow and binary trans woman narratives did not resonate with me.

basically, i'm just very genderqueer/genderpunk/agender and binary transition isn't fruitful for me. it's very limited and painful in my experience. i don't mask being neurodivergent anymore && i sure don't try to mask being trans/queer/gendery.

actually, the more thoughts and energy i put into passing and being accepted as a woman, i realized... it's like asking society to validate my existence and make me happy, and for me.. it did not feel empowering.

i think allowing myself to explore trans masc feelings has been great, but the narrative of regret/detransition being placed on me/presumed kinda sucks tbh (actually, really!). it's not a thing where i thought i was a trans woman and was wrong lol.. i had lots of nonbinary feelings throughout and i still really resonate with being trans fem in some way, just not in a binary way.

i'm still exploring those trans masc feelings. i shaved my mustache last week (lol) and was very depressed this weekend. it's such a weird feeling to not find comfort in looking feminine. i guess i am happiest being in a grey trans masc area, where i am clearly pretty fem and queer and gendery, but also putting some effort into some masc presentation.

imo, you can't really live life by regret, it's just a toxic emotion and way of framing your life in a negative way. sure, i have regrets (mainly people i've dated, jobs i've taken..) but you have to live your life and try to be happy and do what's best in the moment. You really do not know how you will feel 10 years from now, but if you try your best today to be happy, i don't think future you will be mad at present you for trying.

note: i honestly stopped sharing photos, etc. a lot last year cus of these narratives of detransition/regret and like.. i'll just add that noone has to have a narrative that makes sense to others.. i have a lot of respect and love for people who are okay exploring the spectrum of gender and going against binary gender norms.

i hope that helps, but it's very much your own personal journey and your own internal process of dismantling internalized transphobia/transmisogyny which is where i think a lot of those regrets/detransition narratives stem from, imho.

[madametrashbin]

Timeless Emotions

This is probably shorter and this is self-indulgent because Guoba has all my attention during the Moonchase Event... LIKE LOOK AT HIM THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE EVENT! HE’S SO FUCKING ADORABLE AND I WILL DO EVERYTHING FOR HIM! AHHHHHH!!

Ahem, anyways... enjoy me wishing I could just hug him and have him as my cuddle/snacking buddy... I’mofficiallySAGAUobsessedskjskjskjskjs

Before I forget, I’m the type of person who won’t keep things the same in terms of timeline so it might be confusing to see like several thousand different manners of initial entry lmao.

Marchosius, just like all other Gods, loved and revered the faceless God that existed beyond the boundary of their fabricated world.

Even as time has passed, even after he had sacrificed his power and knowledge to quell the calamities that threatened the people of Liyue, his adoration for the faceless God has never waned.

So when he meets them, or rather, saw them from afar while they wandered around the Harbor alone, that forgotten part of him reignites back to life as he quickly made his way over to them. Of course, Xiangling noticed his departing figure and called out to him, but he was too occupied with the distant figure to hear it.

Only when he touched their hand did they notice him, and when he felt something so achingly familiar... like home... like the stars, he knew immediately that they were someone important.

Human they may appear, he could never really mistake this sensation as anything else.

The nostalgia that runs through his veins, the many faded memories in his mind that had lost their clarity through the years he had been asleep... he feels the happiest he’s ever been, seeing this person in front of him gave him the most joyful feeling that makes him feel so satisfied.

It was different from eating all the wonderful meals he was given, and different from watching people passionately cook to their heart’s content... but it was a wonderful feeling all the same.

Although Marchosius may no longer be present in these times, but he will always adore them no matter the form he takes or the current state he is in.

“Hmm?”

You looked down when you felt something- a paw, grab your hand. You were lost in Liyue Harbor, alone since you first woke up alone in the outskirts of Qingce Village. You spent some time there before leaving, wanting to see the rest of the world you once saw behind the screen of your monitor.

You arrived to Liyue Harbor after travelling for a week, surprisingly fortunate enough not to encounter any trouble on your way there.

Now you’re lost as hell since the city was much bigger in perso nthan you thought... and there was so much more people inside the city, making it so much more disorienting and likely that you’d get swept away and lost among the sea of people.

You had managed to get out of the bustling crowd to take a breather before you arrived at your current predicament... which honestly wasn’t that much of a problem, considering the cute little happy face you’re seeing right now.

“Oh, it’s you.”

You say mostly to yourself, crouching down and petting the former God who makes a happy noise from the touch.

“It’s nice to meet you, Marcho-- ah, I mean Guoba.”

You almost used his old name, mostly because you’re still trying to keep up with your current situation of being in a whole new world that you knew of as a game... plus his old name was pretty cool too, had a nice ring to it... but considering his situation, Guoba sounded much more fitting for the endearing character that he is now.

“Where is Xiangling? Shouldn’t you be with her?”

The little creature could not reply in words, having lost that in his time asleep, only making a few delighted noises before pointing over to Wanmin Restaurant at the distance.

This was how you ended up settling with Chef Mao, helping around with your surprising kitchen expertise (that you honestly were pretty sure you shouldn’t have since you were just a basic civilian that lives off of fast food and takeout) and pretty much integrated into the Wanmin Restaurant until the rest of the characters came across you.

Although the changes have grown to be more exhausting after each new revelation for your mental and emotional wellbeing, just having Guoba around grounded you... something that you were incredibly thankful for as you fed him homemade Chili-Mince Cornbread Buns while spending some time in the peaceful silence... even if you could feel the ever watchful eyes drilling into you from the shadows.

However, hearing Guoba’s joyful noises always brought a smile to your face, easily helping you get over the causes of your stress as you enjoy your snacks with him.

Ever since the day he met them, they’ve been living with him and the father-daughter duo he happily calls family, entertaining him when there wasn’t much to do and helping around the kitchen with him when it was busy. It was even better when they made all these wonderful food, both familiar and unfamiliar that made him feel better.

Many people came ever since they stayed, the restaurant is always busy and people seem happier and filled with so much more energy after eating meals they made. 

Even though he never truly understood the intense feeling of adoration he constantly felt around them, he knew that they were someone important to him and that he wanted to stay by their side forever... he does get concerned when they go traveling with Xiangling, very worried that they’ll get hurt while they were helping Xiangling find inspiration for a new dish.

Not to mention when he has to leave them, he feels an intense sensation of sadness of being away from them, the strong temptation to run back and stay by their side growing stronger the further he was from them. While he was very much curious about these feelings, he doesn’t dwell on them knowing that when he comes back to Wanmin Restaurant, they’ll always be there.

Even if more people, both familiar and unfamiliar come to flock around the restaurant and take up more of their time upon seemingly realizing something, he always knew that they would make time for him and relax alongside him when it was just the two of them.

They always smiled, happily indulging in his desires for hugs and sharing snacks together... even if there were some strange people staring at them from the shadows that he noticed from afar.

In the end, it didn’t matter what he or others thought... their desires and feelings mattered more than anything else, so he tries his best to make sure they would smile no matter what. 

Whether it would be by letting them hold him and carry him around when they travelled with Xiangling and her friends, or dine together in a rather secluded spot away from the loud noises, whatever makes them smile was all he seeks to see as the warm feelings within him would bloom into a rejuvenating sensations that leaves him satisfied much like the wonderful food he is fed.

Nothing beats the familiar sensation of home, after all.

[elriell]

Some jumbled up thoughts about Elain, Lucien and Azriel + Mating Bonds

There have been a lot of conversations regarding this topic and I thought I’d flesh it out a bit myself, but these are facts/observations that as a fandom many have noticed, discussed, analysed. I just wanted to dive in myself fully.

I want to talk about each of them individually as well as, as a whole. Their emotions and mindsets, as someone who loves all three characters and wishes for all of them to get a happy ending. I will preface this with saying I will be discussing why it is very likely Elain will reject the bond and such things, so along the lines of Anti-Elucien. If you are a fan of them, thats cool, just skip this one if you happen upon it. 

We are going to dive in to the following;

Lucien & Elain  (their choices)

Lucien & Azriel  (contrast)

Rejecting the Bond

New Bonds

Fate & THE POV 

and why the writing is basically telling us everything we need to know...

Lucien 

Lucien is noble male, he has a good heart and has suffered his plenty, and this is why people want what is best for him, to be the happiest he can... Unfortunately I think that in this case Elain is not it. 

He is right to feel that way, just as Elain has a right to feel as she does. I think it is incredibly interesting that when we finally see from his POV we see that in a way he feels as though this has been thrust on them. 

That with his last love he had a choice and so did she.

It reminds me very much of this line about Rhysand’s parents, who were an example of an unhappy mating bond.

We will deep dive in to wrong matches further down, but the fact is that mated couples are not always indicators of true paired souls, that they very well could be the couple that do not end up happy together.

I speak on Elain and her agency a lot because I feel like a large portion of the fandom like to discard it as if it means nothing, and even judge her for it but if we actually take a look at Lucien’s behaviour he is not all that more happy.

There are some key differences between them though, Lucien as a male feels their bond to a different degree than she does, and he also has been raised to believe and respect the bond. And thus he feels a certain obligation to honour it in the best way he can. 

This doesn’t mean he thinks she is right for him, any further than his attraction to her (which like same dude same), he hasn’t displayed any signs that they actually aline as a couple. And I feel like SJM clearly highlights this when she sets examples of his gifts not being... well right for her. 

The gloves we know she never wears show us how little they know each other as she loves to get dirty [which Feyre had told him] and the pearl necklace is then contrasted by Azriels which was very personalised to Elain. 

(The rose, the secret beauty of it hitting the light etc...)

These are all deliberate moves by Sarah to showcase their misaligned bond.

And during Elain’s section I will also be pointing out some Lucien moments that really don’t read well for him. I genuinely believe he is much happier amongst the Band of Exhiles than he is when he is seen with The Inner Circus.

Elain

Here is the thing, this situation isn’t any easier on him that’s true but people need to respect Elains feelings, and the fact is she does not like him. Not only does she not like him but she shrinks in on herself, she looses all the progress and confidence she has made since the Cauldron. That is not a good sign of anything healthy.

If this is suppose to be a romance we root for why is she doing everything in her power to make it seem the opposite? If she genuinely was playing the long game she would have at least started to make them comfortable around each other, goodness they don’t even have to talk, but she does the opposite.

She emphasises that he brings out the bad in her. Again, no bueno. She quite simply does not want to be around him and with SJM’s writing I think this is highly deliberate on her part. 

[And let’s be clear there are countless quotes from the other books that do NOT reflect well on their relationship but I am trying to stick to ACOSF, as it is her most recent work, otherwise I would be here all day.] 

Rejecting the Bond

We have almost a two page discussion on why mating bonds are not an exact science, and that they can be more harmful than good. We are given two examples of it, with both Rhys’ and Tamlin’s parents. And then we get a very subtle hit at Azriel. This is all in the book Sarah said she began planting the seeds for the sisters journeys.

We also know from this there is a choice. But that many force it, because they feel it it right, (much like Lucien is probably doing right now, because he feels a duty and hope that it will work out.)  

Then we have the fact thrown at us that a lot of males believe that their mate belongs to them and will challenge the other male, which we now have a call back to with Rhys’ mentioning “The Blood Duel”. 

There is literally not one reason Sarah would put this in TWICE only for it never to happen or come close too happening. How anyone can question at this point that Elriel will happen is confusing to me, she has laid all the groundwork for it.

Now I don’t believe for a second that Lucien wouldn’t respect her choice, I think it will most certainly come down to Beron forcing his hand to wage the war we know he wants.

I think despite what Rhys said in Azriel’s POV under immense stress, TNC will protect Elain and ultimately stand by her decision. 

Not only does ACOSF spend a great deal of time creating a further divide between Elain & Lucien it also add a shockingly large quantity of easter eggs about “Elain choosing bonds” “Other Mate” “What if it chose wrong?” and again in this book like in ACOMAF we bring back up a failed mated pair to remind you of it’s existence.

All possible signs lean towards them breaking the bond.

And frankly from a storytelling perspective having three perfect bonds that are basically the same overarching love story (enemies to lovers) is boring, she would want to shake it up and throw a little curveball.

Lucien + Azriel  &  Why I think Azriel will have a bond with Elain.

“If anyone can sense if something is amiss, it’s a mate” And low and behold it is Azriel who figures out what was going on with her. Not to mention in the reveal SJM further displays that Lucien has no clue what was going on with her.

I don’t know what bridge holds their bond but I wouldn’t trust crossing it personally... :/

Further still, Lucien cannot hear her heart. Their bond is definitely not strong but you could also argue that is not an element of the bond at all but rather of her abilities perhaps. Since we know she could hear the sea too though it was nowhere close by.

But Azriel did hear her, he did pay attention and he figured out what was amiss. 

It is interesting to me that people took such issue with this when I believe very few have issues with Rhys or Cassian fighting for their respective partners. Now I have gone in to it in depth about how I think that this was pure emotion and illogical on Azriel’s part, and I don’t believe he would kill Lucien so carelessly.

I think it speaks to the same blind emotion a lot of them have displayed for their mates, Lucien may have wanted to see if she was worth it but Azriel knows she is worth the fight.

And for all intensive purposes in that moment he was willing to fight for someone he believes shares his feelings.

Now let’s tackle the whole “Possessive” crap.

First of all, all of the male pairings in this series have shown moments like this, so if it is bothering you here why isn’t it bothering you at other points?

Lucien has been just as instinctively possessive from their bond, and let me clarify, I am not shaming him for that anymore than anyone else. What I am pointing out is the double standard, if anything Azriel has more reason to feel like he can fight for her because she has actually shown him care, interest and attraction. 

They have actually bonded a lot more than she has with Lucien thus far.

And if they truly do have an upcoming bond then judging him on three paragraphs when we don’t know what the heck is going on is just ridiculous.

On the same note of that scene, let’s talk about “deserve”

First of all he never said he deserved her, Rhys implied that is what he was gleaning from the conversation and that it is just lust, which we know is not the case. Clearly Rhys perception is not accurate at all so to take his statement at face value and call it fact is a bit disingenuous.

Azriel wasn’t claiming he deserves her, did you read his POV at all?? He didn’t even feel like his hands should touch her let alone deserve her. Please go back and read that chapter again if you can’t see that.

Not to mention I think that the idea of FATE, and believing in hope even when the odds are stacked against you (AKA her having a mate) is actually very consistent with SJM storytelling and Az. Remember this;

The fact that he is hopeful despite the despair of his situation is exactly what people have valued about him. Not to mention after Rhys says this to Azriel he says to them;

So Rhys too believes they were brought in his family for a reason, some sort of fate.

Amren too thinks they are blessed by fate. Why is it so shocking and offensive that Azriel have a little hope that there is a reason they came in to their lives? Because he isn’t with your fav?

Let’s be honest he didn’t exactly get over Mor in ACOMAF, ACOWAR and then even ACOFAS there are slight moments, thats over a long period. Three sisters didn’t just arrive and he went TAG “I want one.”

No, he genuinely grew to care for Elain, and let go of his past, and in watching Elain not find any connection with her mate he saw it as a sign that the Cauldron was wrong, which we know it can be. 

I don’t know if people are selective readers but if you think that he doesn’t care for her as a person beyond being a “sister” I don’t know what to tell you, we are not reading the same books.

ANYWAYS back on topic.

I think Sarah has laid a lot of groundwork for her breaking the bond and perhaps choosing a new one. I know not everyone is keen on another bond as they feel her free will and choice is enough, that’s fair and I agree to a point. 

I just wanted to analyse the data at hand, and I do believe after ACOSF (I never thought it prior really) that they are mates in some capacity, whether that is because of the Cauldron or something that will occur... I think she has laid enough groundwork for them being Soulmates at the least. Hence why I love the idea of a Carranam bond.

There are so many parallels between Rhys, Cassian & Az that could be taken as little signs but honestly this is long enough I am sure you all want to kill me already for making you read all that hahaha 

One last little morsel, it very well might be nothing but Az shouting after they take Elain is an interesting choice, it’s ambiguous enough that you can take it to mean the pain but it could also be another little crumb.

Basically with all said and done I think she will give Elain her agency back and break it.

And potentially something will occur with Azriel as a result but thats certainly more grey than the rest of it.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk!

Obviously, to each their own opinion, have fun and ship whatever you want these are just my thoughts on the text at hand!

(Also I am sorry I got like 20+ messages to get to in my inbox, yeah I kinda ignored everyone and worked on this today, sorry!!! I’ll be back tomorrow)

[gryffindors-weasley]

It’s Not Living If It’s Not With You

Young!Sirius Black x Reader

Summary: After several moments having gone by of the two of you skirting around your feelings, the right time finally arises.

Word Count: 5.9k oops

Warnings: mild angst, smoking, mutual pining, fluff, kissing

It had been no secret that Sirius Black had a penchant for walking on the wild side, for being braver than most in nearly everything he’s done and will do. There were times where he had been perhaps too adventurous for his own good, but that would never stop him from continuing on with his habits. There was never a dull moment so long as he was around for it, but, over the years he’s come to realize those moments aren’t complete unless one person in particular is there to share them with. You.

October 19, 1977

You stood at the base of the carpeted stairs with your arms crossed over your chest, lips parted as you tried your hardest to mull over the words just spoken to you. The offer just given to you that required an answer of approval; anything other than yes simply wouldn’t be accepted. That would be downright ridiculous.

“On a what?” You ask once you’d thought about it for a few seconds, unsure if you’d even heard him correctly and immediately hushed for your nearly too loud tone of surprise.

Sirius stood before you with a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth as he tucked his hair behind his ear, a chunk falling back in his face. His smile was far more than telling that he was up to no good at all, but you were beginning to realize that he hardly ever was. He lifted his hand and swirled the lone set of glimmering metallic keys around his finger, his smile only widening at the thought running through his mind.

“A drive,” he said, speaking as if it were completely and utterly normal to be taking his best friends’ fathers car without permission. As if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

A laugh fell past his lips upon seeing your mouth open and close a few times in confusion, in contemplation, head tilted and brows furrowed as you looked up at him curiously. “You are planning on taking Mr. Potter’s beloved car?”

He nods, “yes, Y/n/n, that’s the one.”

“And you’re planning on dragging me along to get in the inevitable trouble you’ll be getting into once he sees it’s missing?”

“That’s the idea, yes,” he smiles.

You squint up at him and meet his gray gaze, his own stare holding something akin to mischief as he was rapidly growing more antsy and impatient by the second with your hesitancy. You turn and look over your shoulder, peering into the living room just mere paces away from where the two of you had stood in the Potter household. Mr. Potter had been reclined in his favorite chair as a miscellaneous television show had been playing, fast asleep with that morning’s paper in his lap and his glasses halfway down his nose. The setting sun had been spilling through the open blinds, casting stripes of orange on the walls as a lamp on an end table illuminated the room.

Mrs. Potter had taken her knitting elsewhere to avoid her husband’s very obvious snoring, presumably tucked away comfortably in their bedroom and would likely remain there except to wake her husband should he not be in bed by ten o’clock. James hadn’t come home yet, having been out in the town with Lily. Time never seemed to exist when he was with her, always finding himself returning home far past curfew to be teased by Sirius for being too lovestruck for his own good. Though, it was something James had readily fired back because he too was just as in love even though he’d denied it.

So, needless to say, Sirius was bored and itching to get out of the house.

You turned back to him with pursed lips, his brow raised in anticipation as he rocked back and forth from his heels to his toes.

“Why do I feel like this isn’t the first time you’ve done this?” You ask, voice just above a whisper.

“Oh, come on.” His eye roll is immediate as he grabs your hand, tugging you out of the door with a smile on his lips. You tried not to let your cheeks burn at the feel of his hand in yours, the hand that had yet to let go as he looked back and smiled at you. “And no, it’s not the first time.”

It was your turn to roll your eyes now as he let go of your hand in favor of opening your door with a dramatic wave of his hand to gesture towards your seat, nearly walking into the hood of the pristine car from being far too busy sending you a smile. He makes up for it as he hops over the door and into the driver’s seat with ease, flashing you a smile as he puts the keys in the ignition.

He pauses for a few seconds seemingly not of his own accord, momentarily taken by the way the setting sun glimmers on your skin and sparkles in your eyes. By the way you’re smiling at him even when he’s being a complete idiot who trips over his own two feet because he’s too busy doing exactly what he is doing in the current moment. Staring.

He often wonders how he manages to stay so collected around you, exchanging his fond feelings for charm and witty comebacks to your even wittier quips. But clearly, so clearly his attempts to appear so collected were rapidly crumbling around him with each passing second he spends staring at you. Though even so, he finds he doesn’t have it in him to cut it out.

“Well, are we going to drive or wait for Mr. Potter to catch us?” You tease, pinching his chin gently in your hand to further your taunting. “If you take a picture it just might last longer.”

He rolls his eyes and puts the car in gear, setting off down the road. You pretend your stomach isn’t a mess of butterflies at the way he’d been gazing, you try to keep your mind from playing into the flurry of possibilities of what it might mean. But absolutely nothing could stop the way your cheeks burned as a result, but the wind in your hair was easy to focus on, the wind pressing on your palms as you stuck your hands above you.

Sirius let out a holler as he sped off down the countryside, the breeze sifting through his hair as your brief moment of shared smiles only added to the exhilaration you felt having taken the car without permission. As he turned the radio up to an ever familiar classic rock song.

Yeah, it was totally worth it.

March 7, 1978

The common room was filled with giddy gryffindors and colored team flags that night, half of them still cheery over the outstanding victory of the quidditch team earlier that evening. Still dressed in their jerseys, their faces still painted red and yellow. The other half were having just as much fun as an endless amount of laughter filters through the room and bounces off its stone walls.

James, of course, had been amongst the happiest—it was his team that had won after all. And Lily had fallen close behind him, her fond gaze set on her lover as much as she would beg to differ. Remus was just happy to be there in the moment with his best friends, his smile near constant much like everyone else in the room.

Everything was a haze of gryffindor colors; red pillows scattered on the floor from those who’d stood on the couches, ruffled tapestries along the walls. The latest hits from Queen and ABBA had been playing on repeat as everyone in the room had been having the night of their lives in the name of victory, good natured fun filling boisterously in the cozy space. It was a good night really, but everyone you’d hoped to be there wasn’t in attendance, the one person you found yourself wanting to see most wasn’t there.

Sirius.

He’d disappeared shortly after the match, one he’d sat through with merely half as much enthusiasm as he’d usually had in support of one of his best friends. Of course he’d made it a priority to congratulate him on his winning, he always had and he always will, but you were quick to realize even amongst the bustling crowd of cheerful teens that he hadn’t made it back to the common room with the rest of the group.

It was entirely too easy to tell when he wasn’t around, it always was. Things had lacked a certain light, a certain energy only his charisma could bring forth in anywhere he’d gone. It wasn’t far off to say that he’d been important to your tight knit group of friends; he was chaotic, he was rebellious, he was Sirius.

You had barely gone ten minutes in that party before you found yourself slipping from the common room in search of your best friend. You knew just where to find him as you navigated the dimly moonlit corridors with purpose in your stride, the music still ringing in your ears despite your otherwise quiet surroundings. He was rather predictable to the select few who knew him almost better than he knew himself, but you still held hope in your heart that he’d be just where you’d felt he’d run off to as you climbed the spiral staircase.

You were right.

A soft smile tugged at the corner of your mouth when your gaze fell upon the raven haired boy, his dimpled chin in his palm as he sat alone. His gaze was set on the stars above, glimmering bright and high in the sky in the perfect view given from the astronomy tower. You sighed softly at the sight of him before you, shoulders slumping a bit as you approach him.

“The party is downstairs, you know,” you spoke lightheartedly, moving to sit down with him and nudging him with your elbow when you did so. “It happens to be one of our last here.”

“I’m not really in the partying mood, Y/n/n,” he grumbles with a soft huff, his gaze focused ahead of him and his jaw clenching. Though he finds himself nudging you knee with his moments later in hopes that it’d soften the accidental harshness of his tone. He hadn’t meant to sound so irritated, especially not with you.

You sigh softly, your eyes dropping to where he’d been continuously picking at a hole in the knee of his jeans before lifting to him once more. You were certain you knew just what was plaguing his mind for the entirety of the day, at least that long and possibly more. It wasn’t uncommon for him to linger on the past and rightfully so, but you decided against speaking further on the subject as a smile pulls at the corners of your mouth.

“Are you ever?” You jest, making light of the brooding expression on his face.

He finally looks at you then, his eyes narrowed in a gray stare at your words as he tries his very hardest to stifle his smile. “Have you come to bother me, Y/n?”

You shoved at his shoulder lightly as your mouth fell agape in only half surprise at his words, laughter leaving your lips nonetheless as you squinted up at him. “Sirius Orion Black, I wholeheartedly believe it is my job to bother you.”

He rolls his eyes then, a scoff sounding and soon to be followed by the laugh leaving his lips as he shook his head. “Well I’m wholeheartedly convinced that you’re doing a wonderful job.”

His quip is as lighthearted as your own as you share a look of scrunched noses and faux frowns, ones that fade into soft smiles as you bring yourself to look away before your cheeks burn redder than the crimson shirt you’d been wearing. Unbeknownst to you, and something that he doesn’t plan to shed any light on, he was grateful for the lack of proper lighting otherwise you just might see the matching shade of red on his face. Something only ever achievable by you even if you hadn’t known it.

Your mingled laughter had quieted as you sat with him, and you couldn’t help but to steal another glance in his direction. His lingering smile was evident even as strands of black hair splayed across his cheek from where they’d once been tucked behind his ear. One that just minutes before was far from making its appearance when he’d sat there by himself and drowned in the gravity of his past leading up to this point.

His closest friends had never failed to bring out the absolute best in him, something he found himself immensely grateful to have. To be able to be loyal to people he knows will always want what is best for him. But as he sits there, no longer alone as he had been in that tower for a short while, he’s with the one person he had hoped would come looking for him. The one person always stuck on his mind and he knows you always will be.

You found it in yourself to look away from your best friend just a little too late as you bit the inside of your cheek, having known he’d caught your stare but too prideful to check and make sure he really had. Instead, you drop your head to rest on his shoulder and grab his hand with a squeeze, the softest of reminders that you were there. It was an action that made his heart flutter and race all the same.

“Eager to hold my hand, Y/n?” He teases, his charm making its reappearance.

You lift your head and release his hand with a poorly attempted glare, holding his gaze only briefly before you fell back into your previous position. “You really do make it terribly hard to tolerate, do you know that, Sirius?”

His smile widens as your words, his laughter sounding once more.

“Well, I wholeheartedly believe it is my job to do so,” he states, repeating your earlier choice of words as he rests his head atop yours.

“And I’m wholeheartedly convinced you’re doing a wonderful job.”

He nudges your foot with his converse in response, cheek still pressed to the top of your head as he laughs when you do the same. You really were something else entirely and he knew that, you were witty and fierce and entirely too extraordinary for him to begin to fathom. He’s quiet for a moment as he thinks things over, as he enjoys your company and the way you chose to leave the fun of the party in favor of finding him. Yeah, he still can never believe it. He’s quiet for a few more moments as he mulls over his next words.

“I didn’t say you had to let go of my hand,” he mumbles, tossing it out as a suggestion he hopes you understood the point of.

He didn’t have to wonder too long as your hand soon slips in his once more, thumbs crossing over and fingertips curling over the backs of your clasped hands. A softer smile is shared but unseen, and he’s quickly reminded that a moment like this is much better than being by himself, than being at a celebratory party.

June 19, 1979

The lake. It was a meeting spot to rival all others the very moment your group of friends had first laid eyes on it. The discovery was entirely accidental, something stumbled upon in an attempt to find the absolute perfect spot to camp. In fact, it was so perfect that James had tied one of his old shirts around a tree branch for future visits, to unofficially claim it as your own. It was absolutely incredible and seemingly unknown to most anyone else which you found next to impossible—it was too amazing not to be. But, whenever the trip was made, which was more often than not, no one else had ever been there to spoil the fun.

Clusters of wildflowers and dozens upon dozens of trees lined the perimeter of the open water, each one a different height than the last but all extraordinarily beautiful in their own way. Those very trees were also perfect for tucking yourself against with your favorite book at the moment, the right amount of shade to combat the summer sun so long as you’ve got a blanket to sit on.

“Do you think they’ll ever get tired of throwing each other in the water?” Lily asks, a smile on her lips as she shakes her head.

You follow her gaze to the sight ahead of you, Sirius over James’ shoulder having had his fate set in stone as he’s thrown into the lake with an unceremonious landing. You watched as he rose to the surface, mouth agape in shock at the completely expected action as he’s quick to cast an aguamenti spell in his best friend’s direction. It wasn’t until his gaze fell upon you that you found it the right time to look away, his smile too distracting for your own good as your cheeks burned at the brief moment. One that most certainly did not go unnoticed by a very intelligent Lily Evans.

You were fairly positive that there wasn’t a single thing that could get past her, especially not the very obliviously in love friends she’s got. It wasn’t exactly hard to tell either, she’s sure that a complete stranger could even see it if they’d spent merely five minutes in the same room with the top of you. Your rosy cheeks and unbreakable smile were telling enough of that very fact, a reaction most always elicited by the dark haired goofball not far away.

“No, I don’t think they will,” you finally manage once you realize you hadn’t answered her yet. Your gaze darts to her once more and her eyes are already cast on you, her brow raised and the corner of her mouth quirked up. “What?”

She rolls her eyes, a laugh falling from her lips as she shakes her head once more. “You really are terrible at hiding your feelings, you know.”

Your mouth falls open slightly as your brows furrow, a scoff sounding as if she’d been entirely absurd. “Feelings? Don’t be ridiculous, Lily.”

“Then I suppose you’re blushing just for the fun of it, you’re smiling over absolutely nothing?” She says, getting up from her checkered blanket and walking backwards away from you.

“And where are you going?”

“Seems like someone can’t stay away from you!” She jests rushing off towards James after tossing a wink your way, leaving you to frown and scoff once more.

It wasn’t until you pulled your gaze from her that you understood what she was getting at, the very one in question making his way undoubtedly towards you. Your eyes rolled as you bit the inside of your cheek to contain your grin, your grip on your book clutching tighter as he approached you.

“You better not be looking to throw me in the lake,” you state, brow raised as you cross one ankle over the other.

“Are you going to read all day, Y/n?” He asks, snatching the sunglasses from the top of your head just to see your frown. His grin only became more teasing at the very audible huff leaving your lips at the action.

“Perhaps I just might be able to if you stop distracting me,” you quip, frowning as you watch the smile on his lips widen.

“Then I guess that’s just too bad,” he counters, fully realizing what you had just said in that moment as a smirk appears. “Wait a minute, I’m distracting?”

You shake your head and bite back your smile again as he sits the red framed sunglasses on his nose and roots around in his shoe, pulling out a cigarette and a lighter he kept tucked in there when he wasn’t wearing them much to your obvious dismay. And as if it weren’t already terribly obvious that he’d known of said feelings, his laughter before even seeing your expression was telling enough of that very fact.

“Sirius,” you start, frowning as his mischievous grey stare meets yours. “I told you not to smoke near my books. One wrong move and you’ll burn the pages.”

He’s quick to laugh as he lights it, nearly choking on the smoke as he’d done so and you laughed in response to it. “Y/n, that’s most definitely impossible and you know it. Besides, when have I ever followed the rules?”

He laid his head in your lap, his raven hair splaying across your legs and dampening the corners of your book pages and you’re absolutely convinced he’d done it on purpose. They’d warped almost in an instant and you huffed, knowing immediately that getting any form of quality reading done would be next to impossible beyond that point. Not with the smoke billowing away from you or your best friend making little effort to take your mind elsewhere.

“Those shades aren’t hiding the fact that you’re staring, you know,” you say, peering down at him over the wrinkled pages of your book.

He scoffed at your accusation, though a smile still tugged at his lips as he swiped the book from your hand and took another puff from his cigarette. “Was not,” he defends, though the way the very corners of his mouth quirk up and the softest of blushes stain his cheeks, you know you’d hit the nail on the head. He lifts the cherry red glasses and looks at you, no longer attempting to fight his smile before lowering them and letting his head fall back in your lap. “I definitely was not.”

“Yeah, whatever you say,” you sigh, grinning up at the sky as you toss your book to the side. “Whatever you say.”

September 30, 1979

The wedding of James and Lily was perhaps the most special event that was shared amongst your group of friends, the most celebratory. It had been a small one; you were quite sure there weren’t more people there than you could count in both your hands, just close friends and family.

The location was nothing short of perfect and familiar; the beloved clearing by that lake you all had treasured so fondly. The trees had begun to fade from rich greens to even richer reds and oranges, the wild flowers still in full bloom regardless of the cooling temperatures as fall began to become noticeable.

This was perhaps one of the few and rare occasions everyone had dressed up, and even then you’d have to say it was rather casual compared to most weddings you could think of. But Lily and James weren’t ones to follow the norm, though Sirius had most certainly been pushing the envelope. He’d showed up in a suit of James’, his grass stained converse not failing to make their appearance to top off the otherwise perfect outfit. Lily hadn’t been exactly thrilled at the best man’s choice in shoes, but she quickly focused her attention on more pressing matters. Marrying the love of her life.

It couldn’t have been more perfect than it was, having been surrounded by the people that mattered most to everyone. Not a dry eye was left, especially not from Sirius and Remus, even more so Sirius. He’d tried his hardest to deny the fact that he was absolutely most certainly emotional over the union of two of his best friends, having cleared his throat more often than nod to rid himself of the lump within it. But no matter how hard he’d tried to play tough, it was far more obvious that he wasn’t as he read his speech.

Now, as the sun had nearly completely set and the night had begun, it was then that you found yourself reunited with the one person you always seemed to think about. The one person that had joined James and Remus in being the life of the party. Not a dull moment would ever exist so long as they were in attendance.

“Might I have this dance with you, Y/n?” He asks, a goofy smile on his lips and his hand outstretched towards you.

You rolled your eyes at his rather disheveled appearance, his once pristine suit now looking worse for wear as he’d discarded his blazer somewhere that would probably take some searching to find. The top buttons of his dress shirt had been undone, the very collar ruffled and his sleeves rolled up and wrinkled. Not to mention it was half untucked ever since he’d gotten his start on karaoke; all else had become unimportant the moment Queen had come on.

Perhaps your most favorite part of his newfound look was the black tie that disappeared from around his neck in favor of being tied around his head. Either he had no clue it was there or he simply didn’t mind the fact that it was, and your bets were on a little bit of both. His hair was a bit of a mess as it fell over the fabric on his forehead, but one thing had remained constant the entirety of that day. His smile.

“A dance?” You repeat, unable to fight your own grin as you look from his hand to his gaze.

The corners of his mouth quirk up higher than they’d been in that moment as his eyes roll. “I’ve only been waiting the whole night.”

“Is that so?” You inquire, slipping your hand in his and you’re quick to be pulled closer. Your giddy squeal of surprise had sounded amongst the boastful chatter and cheer all around you. Not to mention the same ABBA song that’d been playing for what had to be the fifth time now as per James’ request. “I had no idea you were so eager to dance with me.”

He lifts your hand to twirl you, hands clasped and arms extending as he spins himself for the fun of it. He nearly tripped over his own two feet but if it meant he’d see you smile then it made the slight embarrassment all the more worth it to him.

“There happens to be a lot you don’t know about me,” he says, brow raised as he falls as seriously as he could muster which hadn’t been very much. “A lot.”

You paused in your tracks as his hands settled on your waist, a mild look of concern flashing across his face until he saw the expression he knew so well in yours. “That is entirely untrue and you know it. In fact, I know more about you than I ever cared to.”

His eyes roll once more at your teasing as he lifts you off your feet in a lighthearted retaliation, spinning you once and twice and even a third time as the breeze washes over you and your laughter mingles amongst everyone else’s. He finds himself staring again as he sets you back on your feet, busying himself with reciting the lyrics to Waterloo as long as it means you hadn’t noticed his admiration. You seem to be far too taken by the off key singing, though you couldn’t bring yourself to ever be annoyed.

His singing dwindled and his voice lowered after a short while, his arm remained hooked around your waist save for when he’d twirled you a few more times. You tried your hardest not to play into the fact that your heart had been racing for reasons other than the dance you’d been sharing. To not dwell on the fact that his hand was in yours and his absentminded hums of music had filled the space between you. Should another Led Zeppelin song come on, everyone will simply have to be subject to more singing. Or the fading scent of his cologne that wafted your way with every movement and every gust of wind.

A laugh fell past your lips in that moment, catching his attention immediately.

“What?” He asks, amused and curious. He knows the meaning behind that laugh and he knows surely you’ve got something on your mind.

“I thought you hated ABBA,” you jest, raising your brows. He tips his head back at your comment, his hair flopping backward briefly as a groan fell from his lips. “I’m starting to believe otherwise with the way you know just about every word to every one of their songs that’s come on.”

“Must you be so observant?” He huffs.

“How could I not be?”

He scrunches his nose and mocks your words, your laughter immediate as you return the gesture.

Things fell quiet between you after that for a while then, leaving you both to bask in the music that’d since been turned down, the conversations that since lessened the more the night continued on. Leaving Sirius to think for more than a few moments about just how many hours and minutes he’d waited to dance with you. Or how you rested your head on his chest and he hoped you hadn’t heard just how heavily his heart had been beating. If you had, he’d simply just blame it on the way he’d carried on that night. The adrenaline.

He knew in the coming days and weeks and months and years, ever since the day he met you, that you’d take up the forefront of his mind and he’s yet to be proved otherwise. You’ve made yourself be the calm to his chaos, the one he will always seek out even when he doesn’t realize it. He knows as he dances with you to a song he always swore he hated that he wouldn’t trade it for the world. Not even when you tease him for knowing every lyric. Not even when you tell him he smokes too much and he knows it to be true. Not even when you put those bloody flowers in his hair. Not even when you push his buttons and argue with him for being so foolishly reckless at times. You were just as stubborn as him and he knows he’s met his match.

He doesn’t know quite when he’s known himself to be in love with you, it’s all kind of faded and muddled together. But in the current moment as minutes collect and time passes with the laughter of his friends and newfound family, with you, he knows he’s got what he needs.

“Sirius?” You ask softly, curiously after a while, your gaze falling upon him.

“Yes?”

He finds himself tucking your hair behind your ear, the tips of his fingers tracing over your flushed cheek. He was very much aware of the heat rising in your face at the action, very aware without the need to see it in the glow of the moon. Because there’s this thing you do each and every time you’re flustered, he’s noticed, and each time you look away and smile. You smile and purse your lips and it’s become painfully obvious to him that you were always trying to fight the crimson in your cheeks.

“Have you really wanted to dance with me all night?” You finally say, your smile soft as your eyes nearly sparkled in the moonlit glow you stood under.

A soft laugh leaves his lips as he himself looked away, knowing that habit of yours he knew so very well had rubbed off on him. But he turns back to you, eyes gray and full of something you couldn’t quite put your finger on. “Yes, Y/n. It’s always you that I want to dance with.”

You try your hardest to ignore the flutter in your heart at his words, to contain the butterflies in your stomach. The way he’d looked at you, a certain sincerity in his words and a certain something in his gaze making it near impossible to think straight. The way he looked, goofy and the embodiment of utter chaos—it had you unable to look at just anything else. Though you will admit, as of late it’s always seemed to be rather hard to look anywhere else for more than a few moments so long as Sirius had been close by.

So, as you stood there half-dancing to the melody of a song you hadn’t fully been paying attention to, you find yourself focused on him. Without second thought you lift your hand, grasping the tie around his head softly to you with the fabric between your fingers. He looked absolutely ridiculous and that was for certain, ruffles of black hair dusting his shoulders as that very tie tickled over his nose with every gust of wind. His cheeks were a bit rosy from the energy he put forth that evening you presumed, unaware that a good bit of it had been caused by you.

You tuck the charcoal colored fabric behind his ear, a laugh falling from your lips and mischief dancing in your eyes that told him surely you’d had something on your mind.

“Then I believe it is my duty to tell you that you really are the worst dancer.” There it is.

He pulls you closer, his laughter puffing against your skin as your own continues giddily. “And who’s to say I wasn’t just trying to give you a chance?”

You bite the inside of your cheek to stifle another bout of giggles, you refuse to give him that satisfaction. But the closeness between the two of you had proven to be far more effective in shutting you up as his nose nudged against your own. He couldn’t bring himself to refrain from resting his forehead on yours in a matter of moments, his lashes fluttering and mingling with yours. Your heart hammered in your chest yet felt calm all the same, as if this was exactly where you were meant to be. You knew it was.

“Well,” you start, voice soft as he smiles softly, more so when you accidentally step on the toes of his grass stained converse. “Then I’d say that was awfully nice of you.”

The scrunched noses and soft laughter you share only lingers for mere fleeting moments before his lips brush over yours, featherlight and hesitant. But it was then that you lean on your toes and kiss him fully, his hand squeezing yours as his smile presses against your lips as you continue to sway together. Never mind the three friends of yours watching that very moment with the largest of grins and maybe some teary eyes from James. Never mind Lily high-fiving Remus before extending their hands to James to collect their bet money. You were kissing your best friend, the raven haired wizard that never failed to get on your nerves in the best of ways. The one that could bring life into any room he’d walked into.

“Does this mean you love me too?” He asks, eyes crinkling from his grin and laughter immediate, “Because that would really be awfully embarrassing if—”

“Yes, I love you,” you laugh against his lips to shut him up, closing the space between you once more. “I love you.”

In that moment as he kissed you, as the tips of his fingers brushed across your cheek and the light of the moon washed over you, he knew. It has been you that ignites every moment into the light that it is, the one he finds he can’t ever stop thinking of.

It’s not living if it’s not with you.

—

Tags: @anchoeritic @gxtitobxby @vogueweasley @ch0colatefr0gs @amourtentiaa @hahee154hq @snitches-at-dawn @dracosathenaeum @harrysweasleys @awritingtree @writeroutoftime

[leonicscorpio]

Batboy Headcanons because I made this for me but you all can enjoy this too if want. (May contain mild NSFW)

Dick:

Has a weird relationship with unwanted gaze and the attention he receives because of his physique. He genuinely likes the attention but he draws the line when people start getting touchy. Just because he's shirtless working out doesn't mean he gave you consent to touch him.

Has good dieting skills but he's in his mid-late 20's and his metabolism has 0 signs of slowing down. He once ate a whole xl bag of M&M's in front of Steph and Babs and both said they wanted to murder him because he won't gain a pound.

Dick has ADHD and I'm sorry if you don't think otherwise. He has hyperactive type ADHD and while he's gotten better at controlling his symptoms he still stims stretching and flexing his arms and shaking his arms.

While not so much in Gotham, Dick is very politically active and volunteers at voter registration and working with organizations with the mission of police demilitarization in Blüdhaven.

Dick is a very sexually driven individual. However, I don't think it's entirely healthy. His ADHD also comes into play with this but Dick just needs to have a release at least twice a day or he'll feel physically sick.

I don't know if you all have seen male gymnasts. But Dick, like the rest of them, has FREAKSISHLY large biceps. Everyone talks about Dick has the best ass in the bat family and while Jason may be larger and stronger, Dick has the best physique.

Dick's apartment is littered with sticky notes in places such as the fridge/in front of his computer. If it's not written down and in a place where he can't ignore it, it's not going to get done.

I'm sorry I know everyone says his birthday is in March but I have to go to the older Nightwing comics and say his Birthday is December 1st. I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me this man doesn't give off Sagittarius energy. You can't. I respect you but you can't look at that and tell me that man isn't a Sagittarius or has super heavy Sag in his birth chart.

Dick's at home doing nothing but chilling? You best believe he's gonna be shirts off, tits out, and rocking some blue flannel PJ's.

Dick is currently the only member of the family asides from Barbara who is regularly attending therapy. And he actively encourages each of his brothers and sisters to go every time.

After his Agent 37 days. He sits down with Jason and talks about having to use a gun and how hard it was. And how having to kill people has affected him. When he had to kill the KGBeast (Agent 37 days he snapped his neck) I headcanon Dick just trauma v*mit*d. Jason hugged him and just consoled him.

It's canon that Dick has anger issues but to me, it's not explored or talked about enough and not a lot of people like to talk about it. Dick is very much the 'if I ignore it it'll go away' type when it comes to his anger and he can brush most insults or harassment off fine enough. But when he breaks, he makes Jason look like a saint. I'm talking slamming you into a wall and screaming in your face angry. He'll be profusely apologetic afterward but still.

Despite popular belief, I don't think he's that bad of a cook. He's just not very experimentative. He can follow a recipe and does look at some guides. But to me, Dick Grayson just is that guy who is like Chicken veggies and rice are a meal that I can cook 4-6 times a week.

Dick has a slight fear of dentists. He doesn't have bad teeth and has good dental health. He just doesn't like the idea of a drill going in his mouth and the few times Bruce has to take him to a dentist he had a panic attack every time.

Everyone lives for the fics where Jason beats the shit out of Tim and everyone is just like lol well Bruce and Dick just forgives him. No. When Dick found out it was Jason who beat Tim to the ground, Dick was literally seething and told Jason "Pick on someone your own size or else I'll make you wish you back in that f'ing coffin."

Dick's favorite foods (some based in Canon*): Milk Chocolate*, Cereal*, Asparagus, Bananas, Banana flavored candy, Hawaiian Pizza* (suffer its canon) Rum, thanksgiving Turkey.

Jason:

He may be the self-diagnosed black sheep (rightfully so) of the family, but Jason does genuinely love spending time with his siblings. Whether it be sharing memes with them on social media or just randomly showing up where they are and abducting them to go get ice cream/coffee/snacks.

He'd probably attempt to harm you if you told him this to his face. But he is the closest acting to Bruce out of all of the family. In terms of mannerisms and inherent warmth and kindness behind a dark façade.

Has two moods: either exceptionally, almost neat-freak levels of clean, or his life is completely falling apart and Jason can't tell you for sure what color his floors are because there's so much stuff scattered about.

Despite their initial hatred of each other, Jason truly feels closest to Tim and Tim is the only person asides from maybe Barbra who he can just talk to without feeling any judgment.

Jason only smokes when he's extremely nervous about an operation or a hit. For those who don't know criminal justice cigarettes are the fastest way to get genetic material on someone. That being said he does still like to smoke occasionally.

Me, plus a lot of people give him this sort of 'Lazarus Rage' as I like to call it. When he's in the heat of a mission or if he's getting upset/angry his vision will get blurred with green, and it feeds on his anger and just gets perpetually harder to contain until he releases it. Jason has gotten much better at controlling it. But as he will tell Tim or Babs, he's "seeing green" which means they need to be careful because Jason could kill.

Everyone says Dick is the mother hen. I see you, I accept you, but let me raise you. Jason came to realize that he died because of his rash decision to go after The Joker alone. If Jason finds any of his siblings out acting alone, or even at the very least without Oracle. Jason WILL forcefully interject himself and ask them what the fuck they think their doing.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Trying to get close to Jason is hard. He will degrade you can attempt to try to get you to hate him before he lets you in (that cheeky Tsun of him)

He genuinely cares for and supports all of his siblings but has been rough on them needlessly. But if Bruce is being the distant or absent parent he is, you better believe if any of the siblings drops him a text or a call, Jason will be there in a heartbeat.

He's the most physically powerful of the whole Bat Family. You don't understand because of his time in the League, his time with the All-Caste, and having abused Venom for a time, he can snap an arm bone like it's a carrot with little effort.

Everyone in the family likes dogs and goes out of their way to gush over a dog, but Jason takes it to a whole new level. And even when he's masked up dogs just gravitate to Jason.

Can and has grown a beard in a matter of a few days. He usually likes to be clean shaven but some days he likes to wear a beard just to throw everyone off.

One time him, Steph, Tim, and Duke all went to a restaurant (Red Robin lol) and the waitress got his order wrong and his burger had raw tomatoes on it, Jason took the tomatoes off and ate it while looking absolutely miserable. Tim: Jay why did you eat that you didn't have to you know you could have asked the server to fix your burger. Jason, almost in tears: "She works really hard and she tried and I'm a scary dude I don't want to make her upset.." Duke: "... Jason you literally shot at a cop for looking at you funny the other day. But you're afraid of upsetting a waitress?!? I mean ACAB but dude.. "

Jason's happiest big brother moment™ was taking Tim and Damian to the shooting range and watching them both get their first bullseye.

You can't tell me Jason Todd was into the Emo/Screamo/Warped-Tour Scene. His favorite bands/Albums in no particular order, That's the Spirit (Literally the whole album is Jason Themed and I'm gonna die on this hill) & Sempiternal by Bring me the Horizon, Digital Renegade & Everyone's Safe in the Treehouse by I See Stars, The Resistance: Rise of the Runaways by Crown the Empire,

Jason Todd's favorite foods: (Also some based in Canon*) Burgers, Chili Dogs*, Lager-style beers, Freshly baked bread*, Neopolitan ice cream, grilled corn, and Chinese Chicken noodle soup with Duck.

Tim:

This boy *slaps car roof* gives off so much asexual energy. I know New 52 exists but I just feel like Tim is the person who really, REALLY has to trust you and like you before he's sexually active with you.

HYPERFIXATES. You also can't tell me Tim isn't on the spectrum/or has ADHD.

Is the only member of the family who regularly checks up on Jason and talks to him every day via text message. The two are memelords together and love to play pranks on the other members.

While Dick may give the most frequent hugs and Jason gives the tightest, most secure hugs, Tim's hugs are always the warmest and make you just feel good.

Tim's birthday is July 19th. Meaning he's a Cancer. Let that sink in.. no, really let that information just soak. (Note I have nothing against Cancer women, cancer men however....)

All of the bat boys really struggle with talking about their feelings. Dick will manipulate you into changing the subject via twisting it to be about you, Jason will just cut you off or will ignore you, Damian will deflect everything and harass you until you stop, Tim however, Tim is very emotional and while he's very calculated about who he's emotional with, he's not afraid to break down and cry if he trusts you.

Everyone who says he's the level headed Robin haha how's it feel to be WRONG. Tim is at best the least functional college student and at worst a lemming. 'No Tim, coffee isn't a meal I'm going to make you some food or I'm going to stick you in a room with Damian for an hour.' Richard (Dick) John Grayson.

People overblow how addicted to caffeine Tim is. But it's true. Just overblown. You can talk to him before he's had his caffeine just don't expect him to be anything but curt and blunt.

Everyone says Jason would be the worst at texting but it's Tim. He's the master of leaving you on read. While Jason may do it on purpose, Tim is just really bad at texting people and while he always will read your messages he forgets to respond unless it's really funny or really pressing.

Everyone sees Tim as this bean pole super skinny boy Robin. Tim may not be stacked like Dick or a freaking tank like Jason, but Tim is NOT super skinny. He's just as muscular and likes to work out as anyone, but he just is super lean, so he looks a lot bigger and his muscles are more defined because of how thin his skin is. He has those almost disgusting spider veins on his arm. Kind of gross to look at, but he's the dream of any nurse. This means Tim is also the king of accidentally sending/posting thirst traps.

He really is the glue of the Bat Family. Everyone kidnaps Tim for 'Tim Time'.

Dick likes to spar with and in general just hang out with Tim. Tim tried to teach Dick how to skateboard and you'd think the boy who mastered the trapeze would know how to skateboard but you'd be wrong.

Babs and Tim always hang out and talk about computer stuff and Babs knows she can vent to Tim about anything and he won't say a word.

Tim and Steph were a thing for a while and even though they're just friends now, they still are very close and the two have a very deep bond, liking to shop with each other and watch movies,

Cass just loves to be around Tim because of how calming he is but also she knows she can spar with him AND Cass can also skateboard with Tim too.

Even though him and Damian are always fighting, the two still end up being together and have this unspoken bond. They work great together on a team but other than that they still hate each other.

And while everyone still is hesitant around Jason, and despite the fact that Jason literally beat Tim to within an inch of his life, AND would still trigger Tim and taunt him about it. The two have this odd closeness that rivals even him and Steph. Tim will always be the first to bat for Jason. Jason was Tim's Robin. And despite the fact Jason literally beat it into Tim's head to "never meet your heroes." Tim will always be there for Jason should he ask. The two are just close. And it's hard to describe. Bruce has caught Tim and Jason just platonically sleeping next to each other or just doing their own things shoulder to shoulder silently, just enjoying each other's company.

Tim and Duke also have a really positive relationship with one another and the two can stay up all night just talking about anything. Their minds just mesh well together. The two also love to team up and prank the other members of the Batman Family.

Tim's favorite ASMR/Stim? Watching those Tik Toks of people cleaning computers or cleaning phones. The sound of an air duster is like music to his ears and if any of the Bats need their technology cleaned it secretly makes Tim so happy to help them.

Wear his hair up or wear his hair down? It depends! While Tim likes his long hair he also has gotten plenty of compliments for his short hair and likes to style it to suit any occasion.

My one pet-peeve with Tim is that he probably is that person who lets his privilege show from time to time. While he was essentially raised to just sit down, shut up, and be a perfect trophy son to the Drake's. The Drake's were in the same tax bracket as Bruce and Tim definitely was a rich kid. He never means to come across as spoiled, but sometimes Jason will give him harsh looks if Tim just throws away food he doesn't like or says things like Chipotle is 'poor people food'

Tim Drake's favorite foods (you know by now*) Donuts*, Shallot and Artichoke Pizza with Canadian Bacon* (odd choice but it could work) Artichokes in general are his favorite vegetable, Strawberries, and Beef Pho.

Damian:

I headcanon that he has the worst teeth of all of the Bat Boys and he actually has to use lingual braces. (Hence why you can't see his braces)

Canonically is a very good artist and while him and Tim don't get along, Tim introduced Damian to digital art and gave him a photoshop pack and a nice tablet for his birthday one year and Damian loved it so much.

Damian is a capricorn and I will die on this hill. A January capricorn too.

Now you want a good chef? You've got Damian. Having converted to veganism Damian has had to get creative whenever he goes out to eat so he tends to like to eat more home cooked foods. Damian loves all matters of mushrooms, eggplant, and bell peppers.

Damian really struggles the most with his wanting to just be a normal kid. Despite the fact he will dismiss you for it, anytime he gets to spend at Gotham Academy with Jon and the rest of the kids he's naturally the happiest.

Damian LOVES to give gifts. He loves the look on people's faces when they are shocked when they actually get something from Damian.

Despite the fact that he's been traumatized from both his times with Ra's and Talia as well as with Bruce. He just wants Bruce and Talia to be together because he loves them both equally.

While he's the least flexible and least gymnastic of the Robins do let your guard down around him. He is the fastest runner and the guy is rivaled only by Jason in terms of lethality.

So someone (Jason Todd & Duke Thomas) introduced Damian to trap music and ever since anytime his phone gets stolen people will be shocked to find he's listening to some combination of Lil' Yachty, X, Kendrick Lamar, Wiz, and Kodak.

If any random person tries to hug Damian he'll immediately push them away, he'll bitch and moan about just about anyone hugging him other than Bruce & Dick.

Damian loves to go to the beach/the ocean. He just thinks it's so vast and he loves the brineness of the air. Also being half white, quarter middle-eastern and quarter Chinese (Yes everyone forgets Talia is half Chinese) Damian gets DARK. And although he's just okay as a swimmer he still likes bogeyboarding and eventually wants to learn how to surf.

I'm genuinely afraid once Puberty is done with this kid and everyone in the family is. He has Bruce Wayne AND Talia Al-Ghouls genes and those are two SEXY human beings. Damian's gonna grow a beard one day and people aren't going to know how to act.

Damian secretly plays Fortnight and not even Jon knows. He doesn't want to get shamed. He'd rather lose a match and ruin his streaks than deal with the shame of anyone in that family finding out he plays Fortnight.

Damian Wayne's favorite foods (canon*) Cereal*, Avocados, Grilled Tempeh, his mom's Tabbouleh, Mushroom Tacos, and Vegan Sushi rolls, and grape juice.

Duke Thomas

Duke is like, freakishly good with a piano, and he picked it up naturally!

Also everyone says Tim brews the best pot of coffee in the Bat Family, cue to everyone's surprise when Tim was sick one day and couldn't make a pot. Only to find the coffee was freaking amazing. Duke didn't take any credit at first until Alfred let it slip that Duke was the one who brewed the pot.

Duke being the only Meta of the family originally thought he was the double-token because he was a Meta and a black boy. Needless to say his fears were seriously unfounded the moment he got to know everyone.

Although he somewhat fears Jason and his temper initially, he and Jason have one of the closest relationships in the family. If Tim isn't around to bat for Jason, Duke will happily take his spot. The two work on each other's bikes and grew to share the same taste in music.

Duke uses his Photokenetic powers as a force for good and for shenanigans. Jason wants to play a prank on Dick and Damian while Dick is reading Damian a story? Duke will hide Jason in the shadows and will cover up his shadow. Alfred dropped something in the dark? You better believe Duke will find it in 3 seconds or less.

Duke makes it a point to visit his parents every weekend to talk to them. Although they are making some progress in their recoveries, it's still slow going. Eventually, he starts bringing members of the family to see his parents. It started with Cass, then Jason, and the rest followed suit.

Duke loves playing video games with Damian and even helps Damian beat some tougher levels when Damian is about to rage and destroy the console.

Duke is into Magic the Gathering and you cannot tell me otherwise. Duke also is the DM for the Bat Kids annual D&D games. I can and will make a D&D Batfam Headcanons if asked.

Loves Pho just as much as Cass and Tim and they all call it a date night every now and then where they can go to a hole in the wall pho place. It's really a secret between the three of them.

DUKE THOMAS IS THE BEST SWIMMER OF THE BAT BOYS AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL. HE JUST THRIVES IN THE WATER.

Finding out his birth father is a supervillain was really tough for him. He went into a shell for a little bit afterwards. Cass and Steph were there to help talk him out of his funk.

Duke Thomas's favorite foods (lol what canon DC hasn't acknowleged our boy in a while..) Chicken Pho, Thai Iced Tea, Papaya, Crab Cakes, Italian Hoagies, his mom's Lemon Poundcake, mint chocolate chip ice cream.

I hope y'all enjoyed! Up next (eventually) will be the Bat Girls!

[fandom-imagines-stories]

A Bourbon Street Wedding

Enzo St. John x Mikaelson! Reader

Part 4 of 4: ( Part One, Part Two, Part Three)

Words: 3859

Summary: The big day has finally arrived.  You couldn’t have asked for anything more perfect. 

Notes: I can’t believe it’s been around 3ish years since I started this series. To anyone out there who is still reading, thank you! This is the final part in my Enzo and the Originals Series and I really hope you guys enjoyed. Thank you so much for reading! Warning: So much fluff ahead. Lovey dovey fluff, family fluff, just all kinds of fluff. 

-

The New Orleans’ sound did not wake you up. It was the feeling of someone looming over you as you slept that crept deep into your slumbering mind and forced you awake. Your eyes fluttered open and you screamed. Caroline stood over you, hands on her hips and rage in her eyes. 

“How are you still sleeping?” She shrieked yanking the covers off of you. You groaned and turned your head to look at the alarm clock. “The wedding is only seven hours away! We need to get ready!” Enzo rolled over, covering his ears with his pillow. Caroline grabbed your hand and Enzo’s arm and dragged you out of the bed.  

“Caroline, I appreciate how much you’ve done to help, but-” Enzo started groggily. Caroline shoved a bag of hair product at him and pushed him out into the hall. 

“Damon got here earlier, he’s waiting downstairs for you.” 

“But-”

“No, buts, we are already way behind schedule.” Caroline huffed. Her planner-face calmed and she smiled at both of you, stepping to the side so you could look at each other. “Alright, you two. This is it.” The last time you would see each other before the ceremony. You just stared at Enzo, speechless. Neither of you could even begin to know what to say, so you just laughed nervously. Caroline slammed the door. “Okay, let’s do this.” 

Bonnie, Rebekah, and Hayley all burst into the room. Hayley pushed play on the stereo and music blasted, mostly cheesy romance songs that Caroline had insisted upon. Bonnie popped a bottle of champagne and Rebekah toyed with your hair while Hayley and Caroline talked about their daughters. 

“Hope is staying with her grandmother this morning. Mary is bringing her later.” Hayley explained. 

“Ric’s staying with the girls. He sends his best.” Caroline announced. You nodded and smiled. Alaric was your friend, despite his complicated relationship with the rest of your family. Then again, most of your friends had a complicated relationship with your family. Caroline scowled. “Stefan has elected himself as the selfless martyr who will not be attending so he doesn’t ‘cause a scene’.” She rolled her eyes. You took her hand swinging it back and forth playfully. 

“You deserve better.” You noted. Bonnie raised a glass.

“Amen to that.” She handed out the drinks and the morning passed by with many giggles and indecisive arguments over what color lipstick you should wear. When all was settled, you were cast into a frenzy of makeup and hair curlers until Caroline declared your look to be ‘just right’. 

Meanwhile, downstairs, a reluctant vampire stood outside the gate, tempted to turn around and run as fast as he could in the opposite direction. Of course, the first person to greet him didn’t exactly put his mind at ease. 

“Damon Salvatore…” Klaus chuckled darkly. “What a pleasure to see you again.” 

“Niklaus.” Elijah called from inside. “Do stop frightening the best man.” The oldest living Mikaelson came out and stood by his brother. “Hello Damon.” Damon gave the pair a reluctant wave. The magic witchy Mikaelson- one that Damon didn’t even know existed until now- invited him in and the three lead him to the room where Enzo was getting ready. Damon death-glared him as Freya went upstairs and the brothers stood on either side of him, like minions of death. 

“Please tell me you’ve got bourbon.” He grumbled, side-glancing the two originals, waiting for one to pounce. Enzo watched in irritation as Damon threw his stupid, trademarked leather jacket onto the chair. Kol glared from his spot on the sofa. 

“I thought we’d already gone over the guest list.” He sneered. “I would’ve made sure that this-”

“Behave yourself Kol.” Elijah warned. 

“It’s nice to know none of you have changed.” Damon snarked, snatching up the bottle of bourbon on the side-table. He poured himself a drink and downed it quickly. “And neither has your taste in liquor.” Enzo growled.

“You’re here for a reason, Damon.” He groaned. “You already missed the bachelor party, now please, do something helpful.” 

“You missed one hell of a night, Damon.” Kol smirked, licking his lips. 

“Yeah, I heard about those call girls going missing.” Damon noted. “I’m surprised at you, Elijah. I never took you for one of us miscreants.” Elijah kept up his stoic expression, his tone betraying his slight annoyance.

“I refrained from last night's activities.” 

“He was absolutely no fun.” Klaus whined. “Lovesick fool. Hayley’s practically got him on a leash.” Kol and Klaus both snickered. Elijah shook his head, but couldn’t stop himself from smiling. He really was a lovesick fool, not that he was ashamed to admit it. And with Davina and Cami both gone, he didn’t reprimand his brothers for their partying. 

“I believe that I was not the only so-called ‘buzzkill’ at the party.” He pointed out, his eyes on the groom. Damon’s jaw dropped. 

“Enzo?” He fake-gasped. “Has our blood-thirsty party man finally turned into a hopeless romantic?” Enzo rolled his eyes and shrugged. 

“Just because I’m not a brute, doesn’t mean I’m a hopeless romantic.” He smirked. “Undeniably in love, yes. But not hopeless.” 

“I think I’m going to be sick.” Kol pretended to gag. “You remember you’re speaking of my twin? I know a couple secrets about her you would not find so romantic.” 

“Kol.” Elijah scolded. “We wouldn’t want Lorenzo getting cold feet now would we?”

“Yes because then I would have to remove them.” Klaus threatened, casting a dark look to the groom. Enzo gulped and began to tie his tie over his pristine white shirt. Elijah had picked it out, which meant that it was the best money could buy. 

You both looked perfect. After all, this was the biggest moment in all your centuries of living. The girls gathered around you and let out a collective sigh of awe. This was it. 

The guests were beginning to arrive and you felt your heart pounding, wishing that you could be with him to calm your nerves. But of course, it’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the ceremony and with your shared history of weddings, you needed all the luck you could get.  And so you waited, tapping your foot at an alarming speed and trying to take deep breaths. 

“Everything alright dear sister?” Kol wondered with a smirk, leaning against your doorway. Caroline, Rebekah, Bonnie and Hayley were all getting ready to be the perfect bridesmaids and Freya was preparing to officiate the wedding. She had been so excited when you asked her and you couldn’t think of anyone else you wanted to say the words ‘I now pronounce you husband and wife’. 

“What could go wrong?” You looked at your twin and smiled nervously. Kol’s face suddenly darkened. 

“Well I can think of something.” He growled. You turned to see who he was looking at and gasped. Kol stepped towards Marcel.  “I don’t recall sending your invitation.” 

“I just came to tell Y/N congratulations.” He held up his hands a sign of peace. “I don’t want to cause any problems. Not today.” Kol continued to loom ferociously over Marcel until you stepped in between them. 

“Kol, why don’t you go make sure that Klaus hasn’t killed any of the guests? I don’t want a single speck of blood on him when he and Elijah walk me down the aisle.” You were able to shoo him away before he could object, turning back to Marcel with fiery eyes. “Of all the days you decide to make amends…”

“I’m not asking for your forgiveness for not telling you I was alive all those years.” He started. “I’m asking you not to hate me. All I want is for things to go back to the way they were before everything happened. We were pretty close friends, you and me.” 

Thick as thieves, more like it. While Marcel was like a son to your older brother and a lover to Rebekah, he was always one of your dearest friends. You were devastated when you believed your father had killed him. When you discovered he was really alive, you were both relieved and furious. All those years and never once had he reached out to find you. Seeing him stand before you now erased all of your anger. 

“You say it like I’ve forgotten.” You cried, pulling him into a hug. “Thank you for coming, Marcel. You don’t know how much it means to me.” You pushed away with a small smile on your face and tears in your eyes. 

“Hey,” He comforted, placing a hand on your cheek. “We can’t have you crying before the wedding.” 

“Would you stay?” You pleaded. “Please, Marcel. It would make this day even more perfect.” He gave you a look. 

“Can you promise none of your siblings are going to try to kill me?”

“You know I can’t.” You both laughed and he agreed to stay, sneaking down into the courtyard where the ceremony was taking place. With him gone, you were alone again and the unstoppable nerves returned. “Come on, Y/N. You have faced centuries of trials and vicious enemies. You’re just-”

“Pledging to spend the rest of eternity with someone with probably as much emotional baggage as yourself?” Klaus finished, stepping into the room. Elijah had managed to get him into a suit and he completed it with his famous mischievous grin. 

“Shouldn’t you be downstairs with Elijah?” You put your hands on your hips. 

“Oh come now, don’t be so cross. It is, after all, the happiest day of your life.” He replied smugly. “I simply wanted a word with you before the festivities begin.” He led you to sit on one of the sofas, taking your hand in his own. 

“What’s this about, Nik?”

“I know that I have been… difficult these past centuries.” He smirked and you couldn’t help but laugh in agreement. “The truth is, Y/N, that I am completely afraid of losing your love to someone else. But I have seen the way you are with Enzo and I simply cannot bring myself to take it away from you. I may be a selfish bastard, but even I do not wish to see you unhappy. I wish you the most joyous life, Y/N.” 

“Klaus,” You placed a kiss on your brother’s shoulder. “My love for you will never falter or diminish, no matter how much of a thorn in my side you are.” He gave you the loving smile that you often wished to see more of. Klaus was troubled and all you hoped for was that one day he would find the kind of happiness you had found with Enzo. 

“You look stunning.” Elijah noted from the doorway. He held out his arm. “Shall we?” Klaus and you stood and the three of you walked down to where you would be entering. Caroline and Bonnie would be first, then Rebekah with Damon, and Kol insisted on announcing you like some kind of queen. You were pretty sure he just wanted to get a laugh out of the crowd before you walked down the aisle. Of course, it was just nice to have your twin want to take part. 

You could feel yourself trembling as Caroline and Bonnie started walking. Rebekah and Damon were bickering even as they began down the aisle. You took shaky breaths and felt Elijah chuckle. 

“Everything is going to be fine.” He assured you. 

“You know, it’s never too late for me to kill him.” Klaus whispered and you elbowed his side. Kol gave you one final smirk before heading out to the front of the space. 

“Ladies and gentlemen!” He greeted. “You are all here to celebrate the union between Enzo St. John and my beautiful sister, Y/N Mikaelson. Us being twins, I could share a great deal of stories about Y/N…” He looked back towards you and you glared at him. “But that will have to wait until the reception. Now, without further adieu,” He had an exceptionally smug smile on his face now and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at his final words. “Here comes the bride.” 

Enzo finally was allowed to turn around as the music began to play. His heart leapt and his breath hitched. You were the most gorgeous thing he had ever seen. In fact, gorgeous wasn’t even the right word for it. Nothing could describe how you looked as you walked towards him.  As if his eyes alone had calmed you, you felt your nerves wash away and the brightest smile spread across your face as you took the first step down the aisle. The faces of your closest friends turned towards you and with each step, you felt emotions bubbling up inside. As you reached the end, Klaus gave you a wink before taking his place beside Damon, removing a stake for his pocket. 

“Klaus!” You hissed. He gave you a mischievous grin.

“Couldn’t resist.” He said, Damon taking the stake from him.  Elijah lifted your veil and you felt a tear roll down your cheek. He smiled and wiped it away, placing a kiss on your forehead. 

Freya beamed at you as she greeted the crowd and thanked them for coming to witness your union. Enzo couldn’t take his eyes off of you. The ceremony itself was simple and you and Enzo stared into each other’s eyes the entire time.

“May I have the rings?” Your oldest sister asked. Damon handed Enzo your ring and Rebekah handed you his. “The couple has prepared their own vows.” Freya nodded for you to begin and you took a deep breath, taking both of his hands in yours.

“The first day we met, you were trying to kill my best friend. However, just a few years previous so had I.” You laughed through the tears now freely falling down your face. “I thought that the only promise I would make was to my family. Our code of always being there for each other, and although it has been tested- multiple times-” You shot Klaus a look. “I want to extend that to you. I promise to love you and to protect you and cherish you. Always and forever.” You slid the ring onto his finger and laughed to yourself, wiping away the tears. You looked into his eyes to see that he was crying too.

“I didn’t know what it was like to be loved.” He began and for a moment you thought he’d blubber more than you had. He always was a romantic. But he composed himself as best he could. “Until I met you. You saw past all of the bloodshed in my past. All of my pain and anger. You had had your fair share of hurt over the years and you decided to take a broken soul and mend it. You saved me.” He took a deep breath, feeling a tear roll down his cheek. “And I plan to spend the rest of our lives trying to repay you for the love that you’ve shown me. Always and forever.” He put the ring on your finger and you both laughed at how emotional you both were. Freya smiled. 

“What are you waiting for? Kiss her.” The crowd erupted in applause as Enzo dramatically pulled you into his arms and lowered you into a dip before kissing you for the first time as your husband. 

-

The reception was held at Rousseau’s, which was heavily decorated with roses and lights to the point that it no longer looked like a bar, but something from a fairy tale. Again, the handy work of Caroline. Klaus watched Caroline from his seat at the head table as everyone waited for you and Enzo to arrive. 

“Now that Lorenzo is officially family, I recommend you don’t give him the same treatment that you gave us for the past few centuries.” Elijah straightened his cufflinks with a smile, giving Klaus a side glance. 

“Of course not, Elijah. The daggers don't work on him.” Klaus grinned mischievously. “Although, there’s always the crypt in the basement.” 

“Don’t even think about it.” Rebecca chimed in. Elijah looked across the table to Hayley, feeling a deep desire to one day have this with her. To have the happiness that his sister was now experiencing. Hayley saw him and smiled, her eyes lighting up his soul, or whatever was left of it. Perhaps one day...

The doors opened and the newlyweds entered. You still couldn’t quite believe it. In all your years of living, you couldn’t think of a moment when you were half as happy as you were now. Enzo’s fingers were laced with yours as you walked towards the main table, seeing the smiles on your friends and family’s faces. The guests cheered as you took your seats. Dinner was quickly served and it wasn’t long before Rebecca stood, tapping her glass with her spoon to get the room’s attention. 

“Ah yes, it is time for the dreaded speeches.” She announced with a smile. “Being the maid of honor, I am obligated to speak for my dear older sister. And since I have over a thousand years of stories, it was difficult to pick just one. I succeeded however, in finding a memory that I believe best describes my sister.

“She and Elijah were the only two to escape Klaus without being daggered and shoved into a box.” She gave Klaus a brief glare before continuing. “In the late 1800’s, when I awoke, many things had changed. People I loved turned their back on me.” Her eyes came across Marcel, but didn’t linger for long. “Elijah reintroduced me back into society, but it was Y/N who helped me nurse a broken heart. She made me believe in my own strength again. Y/N showed me the love that only an older sister could. I am beyond delighted that her heart has finally found its equal.” She looked at Enzo happily and feigned a scowl. “But know that should anything happen to her, you will not only have my brothers to worry about.” 

“Duly noted.” Enzo nodded, his hand having never left yours. All eyes were now on the best man. Damon took a long drink from his glass and stood reluctantly. 

“There isn’t a lot I can say about Enzo before him and Y/N met. When Enzo and I first knew each other we were prisoners. We were trapped together, tortured together, and experimented on.” You felt Enzo’s grip on your hand tighten at the memory. “When I got my chance to escape, I took it. I betrayed him. Decades later, he swore revenge on me and tried to kill my girlfriend.” Reading the confusion in the crowd, he smirked. “Don’t worry, this bromance has a happy ending.” 

“Of sorts.” Enzo whispered to you and you both laughed quietly. 

“My point is that Enzo hated my guts until Y/N got him to forgive me. I believe her words were ‘There are better ways to spend an eternity than seeking revenge. Especially against an old friend.’ Anyway, here I am and here they are, so I guess we all know the end of that story.” Damon glanced at you and despite his usual smirk, you could see the sincerity in his eyes. “Elena was always rooting for the two of you to end up together, so that meant I have to too.” The crowd chuckled at his last comment, but you stood up from your chair and pulled the snarky vampire into a hug. 

“Thank you, Damon.” You whispered. “I miss her too.” You felt him return the embrace and smile sadly against your cheek. 

“She would have loved this, you know. All the gushy romance and twinkling lights.” He said, fixing a hair that had fallen out of place and tucking it behind your ear. You nodded.

“You’ll have this with her someday, Damon. And when you do, I will be the one giving the speech.” 

“Over my dead body, Mikaelson.” He snarked. “But I guess is Mikaelson St. John now. Jeez, that’s a mouthful.”

“Sit down, Salvatore.” You shook your head in amusement. As you went back to your seat beside your husband, you noticed a member of the wedding party’s chair was empty. A rush of panic shot through you. “Elijah, where’s Klaus?” 

All of your siblings turned to the vacant seat and their eyes widened. Everyone started to split up to go find him before he could cause any trouble. 

“I’ll go get Caroline, she went to the bathroom.” Bonnie said, taking off in the direction of the restrooms. You and Enzo decided to check the kitchen but were not at all prepared for what you would find. Sure enough, there was Klaus. And Caroline. On the counter. You quickly shut the door, trying to contain your laughter. You took Enzo’s hand and headed back to the table, grinning like an idiot.

“Well it’s about time.”

-

As the night slowly died down, Enzo clinked his glass to acquire the crowd’s attention. Everyone focused on him as he stood, shooting you a bright smile. 

“May I have everyone’s attention? First and foremost I would like to thank each of you for coming out to celebrate this wondrous occasion. Some of you are from this beautiful city, and some came all the way from a small town called Mystic Falls.” He turned to Damon and smirked before returning his loving gaze to you. “But to end the night, I wanted to say a few words to my new wife, Y/N.”  You felt the blush rise to your cheeks and the warmth rush over you. 

“A few months ago, I discovered who my family was. As it turns out, after a century of searching and hoping, they turned out to be a bunch of thieves and betrayers. No resemblance to me, I’m sure.” The room laughed. “I’ll admit that I was crushed. But now, the Mikaelsons have accepted me into their family, some more willing than others.” Klaus shrugged with a smirk, still flushed from his little rondevu earlier. 

“I almost had you.” He teased. Enzo continued, holding his hand out for you, lifting you to stand beside him.

“None of this would have happened if it wasn’t for the brilliant, caring, incredibly sexy-” he winked and you giggled, “most wonderful girl that came into my life when I thought I had no reason left to live.” You laid a hand on his shoulder, feeling tears start to well up in your eyes as they started to in his. “She made me see that maybe there was a slight shred of hope in this eternity we were both stuck with. Y/N became my world. A world I would do anything to protect.” His hand slipped into yours. “Now we may have our disagreements, and I’m sure we have a long road of bickering and evading certain doom.” He held up his glass in one last toast for the night. “So here’s to one hell of a forever.”

-

General Tag: @rae-gar-targaryen; @takemepedropascal; @childhood-imagination;  @mylovegoesto; @yellowbadgergirl; @itmejado; @suckmyapplejacks

[amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines]

Cheryl//this is me trying

Request: Can I request a season 1 cheryl x reader. Cheryl always protects reader from people and r is shy but falls in love with the redhead and some who’s accidentally tells her while she’s having a bad day but cheryl is quick to reassure her then they cuddle after going to pops or something and it’s just fluffy.

hey! happy valentines day gays! and get you, two imagines in one day, it must be the day of love. i hope you all like this because it’s really fluffy and i enjoyed writing this a lot!

Overnight, Riverdale became a shell of its former self. Two months since Kevin Keller and Moose Mason stumbled upon the body of Jason Blossom, and nobody has been the same since. 

The town is riddled with secrets, they’re slowly destroying it like a disease. Nobody trusts anybody anymore, everyone is on high alert, and everyone is a suspect. 

Cheryl usually loves being the centre of attention, she has done ever she was a kid. It’s something that comes naturally with being a twin, you share everything and as much as she loves loved the shared birthdays and friends, she has always loved being the centre of attention.

Now however, she hates it. Her life is a true crime documentary at the minute, and all she wants is for the killer to be caught so the crew can pack up and leave and she no longer has to stare down at the blinding lights being cast over her and her family. 

The only thing that’s kept her sane over the past two months, is you. Despite everything happening, despite the murder and the secrets and the suspicion, you’ve stuck by her side. You were with her when they found the body, and you haven’t really left since. 

The two of you are unlikely friends, she’s Cheryl. Bright and bold and never one to back down from confrontation. But you’re Y/n, sweet and shy and always the first to shrink away from any sort of attention directed at you. 

She knows you hate the constant attention recently, it’s something you get used when you’re best friends with the victim’s sister, but not once have you complained. 

You’ve being questioned by police, journalists and strangers on the internet. You’ve had camera’s shoved in your face on your walk back from school and been asked countless questions about what you know about the Blossom’s. And you’ve also been offered ridiculous amounts of money in order to talk. But no matter what happens, you always just rush past them and join Cheryl, who’s always waiting for you with a sad smile and warm hand. 

Due to the constant hoard of vultures swarming Riverdale High, the two of you had to figure out somewhere else to meet after school so you could walk the long way home. It adds twenty minutes to your walk, but it’s not that well known around town, meaning people can’t bother you. 

Plus, the extra twenty minutes that you get to spend with Cheryl isn’t the worst thing. It’s the opposite in fact. It’s the thing you look forward to, even if you are looking over your shoulder every so often 

But today you’re not at your meeting spot. 

When Cheryl pushes her way through the stares of her fellow students with you and only you on her mind and makes her way through the school basement, back up the stairs and out of the fire exit, you’re not waiting for her with a smile that makes her feel warm and a cold slice of pizza you snuck out of the cafe earlier. 

The only thing waiting for her is a full bin and an empty field. 

“Y/n?” She calls out and looks around the corner. She’s met with three seniors, all of which are smoking with absolutely no care for being caught. 

“She’s not here.” One of them says, her blonde hair and large glasses cover half of her face and Cheryl forces a smile. 

“Hey, Blossom.” A boy says and Cheryl freezes. Who knows what they want, but whatever it is, it probably won’t be nice. It’ll probably be something along the lines of ‘hey, did you kill your brother’ and no matter how many times she’s asked that, it doesn’t get any easier. “Maybe try the bleachers.” He says, ending his sentence with a sympathetic smile and Cheryl nods slowly, not really sure what to say. 

“Thanks.” She forces and spins on her heel. 

“We’re sorry about your brother, Cheryl.” The blonde one says and she turns around again. Each of them look sad, with matching frowns and sorrow swimming in their eyes. 

Jason meant the world to Cheryl, but he also meant a hell of a lot to other people too. And that’s when it hits her. Of course you’re at the bleachers. 

For some bizarre reason, only known by your father. You and your family used to come along every other week to watch the Bulldogs play. For a while you thought it was because your dad was trying to get you and your brother into football and this was a lot cheaper than the actual game, but the older you got the more you figured it was because he was just trying to relive his youth. For 90 minutes he could pretend that he was quarterback again and for those 90 minutes your dad would be the happiest he’d been all week. 

Then one week, a redhead sat beside you. In clothes that were far too expensive to be worn to a high school football game. Her parents looked like they wanted to be there as much as she did, but then a boy with matching red hair ran out on to the pitch and you’d never seen a smile quite like it. 

After that, you made sure to sit beside her at every game. And then one day she sat opposite you at lunch. The first few times she was alone, but then soon she began to appear with a group of other girls, but you were the only one she’d talk to. 

Eventually lunch times and football games turned into group projects and sleepovers. You spend hours braiding her hair and listening to her tell you stories of other worlds and the creatures that live in them. You’d sneak down the dark and creepy halls of Thornhill in hopes of finding a midnight snack, and instead be met by Jason and your older brother in clown masks. 

Eventually, you found a different way to get to the kitchen, one that Jason didn’t know about. And when he’d come looking for you, both of you would jump out  and chase him around the house, much to the dismay of Penelope and Clifford. 

Those bleachers are what started a whole friendship, not only between you and her, but also you and Jason. When you’re brother eventually made the team, thanks to a good word put in my Jason, despite him being a year younger. Him and Jason became as inseparable as you and Cheryl and so it wasn’t an uncommon occurrence to see the four of you hanging out. It also meant that if Cheryl was busy, you and Jason would hang out until she finished whatever she was doing. 

Grief is a hell of a lonely thing, and sometimes Cheryl forgets that other people miss Jason too. With everything going on, she didn’t even think about how you were doing. With all the questions, accusations and crying that constantly fills Cheryl’s house. She never even asked how you were. 

And now her legs can’t carry her quick enough to were she hopes your sat. Because she’s already lost her brother, she can’t lose you too. She wobbles as her heels dig into the dirt, kicking up dust and mud as she runs across the field. Her hair swings behind her, and she can feel the red scrunchie loosen the quicker she runs. 

The bleachers have all sorts carved into them. Initials in hearts, some of them still there, some of them crossed out so aggressively that it’s a miracle they didn’t chop it in half. There’s inside jokes and ridiculous rumours. Codes and dates and everything in between. 

But something new has been added in the past few days. 

cheryl murdered jason

and y/n helped

The writing is small and barely legible, but it’s there and the more you run your fingers over it the more it carves itself into your heart. 

“Y/n?” Cheryl pants breathlessly and you quickly pull yourself away from it. Instead you stand up properly and pull the sleeves of your sweater down over your hands. The y/f/c scrunchie remains still in your hair and Cheryl has to stare at it for a few seconds to calm herself down. “You weren’t at our spot.” She says quietly and you close your eyes. 

You let her down. You let her down. You always let her down.  

“Sorry Cheryl.” You sigh and sit down in the dirt. Cheryl looks around before sitting beside you. “I just wanted some space.” You add and force yourself to look at her. 

The sun sits behind her, but even that doesn’t seem as bright as it used to be. Nothing is what it used to be. For the past two months, you’ve been told that thats a good thing. But what’s good about someone you loved being dead. What’s good about watching someone else you love go through life but not really live. 

Cheryl just exists. 

But she exists for you. 

Because as lost as she would be without you, she knows you would be just as lost without her. 

It’s an unspoken rule now, you always text each other when you wake up and before you go to sleep. It’s something you used to do anyway, but now you make a point not to forget. Because forgetting means that the worst could have happened, and that’s something neither of you can bare to deal with. 

“I get it.” She nods. “I was just worried that’s all.” She adds, trying to sound as casual as she can. But on the inside she’s screaming. Because she thought you had died, she thought whoever had killed Jason had gotten to you too, and the whole reason you’re both dead is because she wronged the wrong person. 

There’s a lot of people that don’t like Cheryl, being unliked comes naturally to her. But she doesn’t know how she’ll cope if she’s so unlikeable someone she loves died. 

She has no idea why your friends with her to be honest. She saw you staring at her at a football game once. But it wasn’t a stare she was used to. It wasn’t cold like her mothers or jealous like her friends. No, this was nice. You were staring at her like you wanted to know about her, like when you looked at her, you saw a friend not someone to be feared. 

And so Cheryl clung onto the tiny hint of friendship, the crack of a door into something that could happen, and she shoved herself through it. It worked, and now you’re the only person she’s nice to. She’s mean to everyone else, she calls them names and teases them, especially when they’re rude to you...but you stay. And she has no idea why, but she’s not going to wish it away. 

“Shit, sorry Cheryl.” You drop your head into your hands and Cheryl looks at you confused. She looks around, not really sure of what to do. “I didn’t think, God knows what you thought had happened.” You ramble and she realizes you’re crying. Her eyes widen and you look at her, your eyes red and puffed and your lips pulls into frown. 

“It’s okay.” She replies and wraps her arms around you. You bury your head into her neck, the smell of maple and cherries invade your senses and you let out a shaky breath. 

It smells like home and happier times, and you want to crawl into those happy memories and never come back out. “I was just being ridiculous.” She tries to play it off, to make it seem like she couldn’t feel her heartbeat in her throat and the ringing in her ears. Pretend like it didn’t feel like someone had pulled her heart out and stamped on it. 

“No, no you weren’t. I’m really sorry.” You sob and wrap your arms around her. She falls into your neck, surprised but not upset with how tight you’re holding her. She never wants you to let go. But of course she has to, and so however reluctant, she untangles herself from you and lets out a deep sigh. 

“I’m sorry.” You sniffle. She hands you a tissue and you wipe your eyes with it before scrunching it up in your hand. “I’ve just had a rubbish day. Somebody shoved this in my locker.” You frown and pull a balled up piece of paper out of your pocket. 

Cheryl’s eyebrows knit in confusion as she takes it from you, her fingers graze yours and you freeze for a few seconds. 

who do you think did it? 

cheryl __

y/n __

Jamie __

“Why is your brother on here?” Cheryl asks, her voice rising with each word and you rest your hand on top of hers to calm her down. 

“I dunno.” You shrug. “Your parents are on there too.” You add and point further down the page. 

“What a bunch of dicks.” She grumbles and crumples it up. “Do you know who it was?” You shrug and she sighs. 

“I’ve just gotten tired of the staring and the whispers. So I thought I’d just have five minutes peace before going home and having to listen to Jamie cry in his room but pretend he’s okay. Or for my parents to walk on eggshells around both of us. Neither of them know what to say, and because of that they keep saying the wrong thing.” You ramble and she listens intently, trying her best to find a resolution to all of your problems. 

Unfortunately, she doesn’t know the answer to everything, no matter what her mom says. 

“I just thought five minutes by myself can’t be terrible. But then I came down here and someone carve-well it doesn’t matter what they wrote. What matters is that I made you worry at the worst possible time in your life. I hurt you, and I’m really sorry. Believe me, hurting you is the last thing I want to do you. I feel sick even just thinking about it. I never, ever want to hurt you. I love you too much. I love you more that I’ve ever loved anything or anyone ever. I just love yo-” Your eyes widen when you realize what you’ve just admitted to. 

You don’t want to look at her, but she hasn’t said anything in a while and that’s strange for her. So you force yourself to look at her, expecting the worst. Expecting disgust, disappointment, betrayal. But it’s none of those. 

Instead she’s smiling. And she looks actually happy. Something you haven’t seen in so long, something you’re glad to see, despite the circumstances. 

Oh yeah, you’ve just told her you’re in love with her. What do you say after that? 

“I-er-”

“Y/n?” She cuts you off before you get the chance to ruin the moment. She’s known you for long enough to know that when you get nervous, you ramble and when you ramble you say weird things. 

You’re grateful for her cutting you off, usually if she talks over you, it annoys the hell out of you. But this time it’s welcomed and she stifles a small laugh and the sigh of relief you let out. 

But the next thing she says is something that you weren’t expecting, but you’re sure as hell grateful for. 

“Would you like to go on a date?” 

---

The red lights from outside, illuminate Cheryl’s pale face in the night, painting her in a reddish hue and you find yourself staring at her for far longer than would be considered normal. 

Lucky for you, she hasn’t noticed. She doesn’t seem to be paying attention to anything, not really anyway. Instead she stares down at her food, pushing a few fries around the plate and anxiety rises in your chest. 

She’s already regretting doing this. She’s made a mistake and now she doesn’t know how to let you down gently. 

She seems to sense you nerves because she’s looking at you quickly, a sad smile twitching at her lips.

“Sorry, I just. Jason always used to tease me about the two of us. It’s the only thing we’d take about sometimes. He’d constantly ask me if I’d asked you out yet. And every time I would say ‘no, we’re just friends’ but, well neither of us really believed that.” She says, a small laugh escapes her lips near the end, but she quickly shuts it off. It’s too soon for her to be laughing, too soon for her to be happy. 

“Yeah.” You nod and finish your drink. “He used to tease me too. ‘if you don’t tell her, I’ll do it myself’.” You mimic his voice and a ghost of a smile twitches at her lips as she forces herself to look at you. “I am really glad you did ask me though.” Your voice shakes a little with nerves and Cheryl stares at you confused. “I do really like you Cheryl.” 

“I really like you too.” She smiles softly and you stare at her lips. Sometimes you think the red lipstick has permanently stained her lips cherry red. Even when you guys are a sleepover, she still has bright red lips and the other part of you wonders if that’s just what they look like. 

“Hey.” You start and a sly smile twitches at your lips as you remember an old memory. She leans forward, excited to know what you’re smiling about. 

It could literally be anything, from a musty old book she let you borrow from the Thornhill archive, to a new tv show you started to watch. But whatever it is, she’s excited to hear you talk about it. 

“Can you remember last year. It was Jamie’s 16th birthday and you and Jason were invited over. Jason was there because him and Jamie were planning on sneaking out later that night, and you tagged along so you could keep me company.” You start and she smiles at the memory. 

The four of you sat in the living room, while your mom brought cake and your dad sang ‘happy birthday’. Cheryl remembers how happy she was, and she remembers talking to Jason afterwards, the two of them whispering and wondering if that was what a normal family was supposed to look like. 

You, Cheryl and Jason had each pitched in for the record player he wanted. And even though you all knew that just Cheryl alone could have been able to buy him it if she really wanted, you knew they split it for you. 

Jamie was ecstatic when he opened the box, and then all of the records you’d bought to go with it. He’d played it every single day since getting it, but now you haven’t heard it in months.

“Yeah.” She nods, a sad smiling taking over he face. “Can you remember when Jason pushed his face into the cake.” She adds making you snort a laugh. 

The bell above Pop’s rings and Betty and Archie walk in. They send you a sympathetic smile before sitting at their own booth, and you and Cheryl share a look. 

“Would you like another one?” You point at her milkshake and she nods, smiling shyly. 

---

The walk home is over far too soon, and it’s only when you’re standing on your porch do you realize you took the normal way home by accident. Either the media has gone to sleep, or people are starting to forget about Jason and Riverdale. 

That thought makes you frown and Cheryl watches your expression falter before you look back at her again. 

“Thank you for walking me home.” You smile shyly and a nervous laugh escapes her lips. 

“It’s no problem.” She shrugs and the two of you stare at each other for a few seconds longer than normal. She’s about to leave when you grab her hand and spin her around to face you. 

She’s surprised for a second, until suddenly she feels a pair of lips on hers, and then the only thing she can feel is them. Everything else disappears, and though the kiss is short and a little awkward, it’s still perfect. 

“Would you like to come in?” You ask and motion your head to large wooden door. The pain is chipped around the metal numbers, something your mom has nagged your dad about for the past 6 months. “We still have the rest of y/f/s to watch.” 

“I’d love to.” She nods and the two of you grin at each other. “But seriously, how many times have you seen that now?” 

“It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve seen it.” You unlock the front door, giving it a quick kick before you stumble through it. “What matters is that this is the first time you’re seeing it.” You add and she rolls her eyes but follows you up the stairs anyway. 

The sun sets over another day in Riverdale and darkness floods the town. The streets are cold and scary, but wrapped in your duvet and Cheryl’s arms, you’ve never felt warmer. 

[aubreyprc]

happier

for @ssa-sparks , who asked for happier+hotchniss💕💘 feel free to send requests, ask/message💖💗💞💘💓

part four of my sour series

ao3

“Say you love her, baby,

Just not like you loved me

And think of me fondly,

When your hands are on her

I hope you're happy,

But don't be happier”

-

It hits her sometimes, how close she was to having everything before her life unravelled, leaving nothing but chaos in its wake. Leaving her too broken to even attempt at rekindling something with him, too messed up to think he could ever truly feel the same for her as he did before. Before Ian, before Boston. Before he learnt of Lauren, and how she’d shared her body and a bed with a known terrorist for two years as part of a job.

She’d been cruel when she ended it, forcing words out of her mouth that she didn’t mean in order to keep him safe. She remembers the look on his face when she’d called them casual, can remember the words he spat right back at her as she left.

She remembers how forgiving he was when he sat at her hospital bed. Grabbing her hand gently while he whispered gentle words, placing a soft kiss on her lips as he promised her that he would do whatever it took to get her back the team. Back to him.

She can also remember just how different everything was when she returned, how absolutely nothing was the same between her and anyone on the team, but especially him.

She remembers the moment it ended, the moment he told her he wanted her, but they needed time. She should recover from everything that she’s been through and they’ll talk when it’s time. They’ll know when it’s time.

Yet that time never comes, the two of them moving further and further apart as months go by and soon they’re not even talking. She accepts with a heavy heart that it’s truly over when it’s obvious he’s started to see someone new.

It hits her again with force, like a harsh slap to the face (which, she thinks she would have preferred. It probably would have hurt less) how close she was to having everything when she hears the name Beth fall from his lips, talking in his office with Dave with a glass of whiskey. (something the three of them used to do, but she won’t dwell on it. She can’t. It hurts too much) Her plan was to just hand him her report and leave. Ignore the way his eyes would linger on her for a moment too long to be friendly, words he refuses to say on the tip of his tongue as he watches her walk away without a word. Absolutely nothing let to say between the two of them. They had something, something remarkable, something that a person only gets once and it was taken from underneath them because of her, and as she stands outside of his almost but not quite shut door, she freezes, the soft tone the other woman’s name being said in rendering her frozen, the wind completely knocked out of her.

It could have seen seconds, it could have been hours before she clears her throat, tapping three times softly on the door before opening it.

“The report,” she smiles, walking to his desk, setting it down gently with a fake smile while her broken heart hammers in her chest. “Night.” She smiles to the two men, nodding her head in farewell and she turns to leave.

“Can we talk, tomorrow?” He asks her and she closes her eyes, holding down the door handle as she takes a deep breath before turning, her fake smile back on her face.

“Sure,” she agrees, “is that all?”

He nods, sending her back a smile that doesn’t seem like his and she wonders then, if he can see right through hers. Nodding again, she leaves his office, taking deep breaths, holding back her tears as she grabs her coat and bag before swiftly existing the building.

She’s in the comfort of her own car when she lets them fall, can feel them rolling down her cheek as she speeds out of the parking garage, as though she can out run the heartache.

To Emily’s surprise he comes to her the next night, knocking on her apartment door at too much of a late hour for it to be anything professional and as she lets him in, watches as he looks around her new apartment she inhales a deep breath and prepares herself for whatever words he was about to speak. Maybe he’ll finally say the ones that have been on the tip of his tongue for the last three months, she thinks.

“I take it you heard?” He questions, looking at her for the first time since he walked in.

“About Beth? Yeah…” She tells him, sending him a sad smile.

“I was going to tell you first, before-” He stops, shaking his head. “You should have found out from me first hand and for that I’m sorry.” He tells her.

“It’s fine,” she smiles, “I’m glad you’re moving on. You’ve seemed happier these last few weeks.”

“Emily-” He starts to say, only to be stopped by her a moment later.

“Really, Aaron.” She smiles, “It’s okay, we ended and you moved on, it’s normal.”

“Yeah,” He says, “I just wanted to apologise, for not telling you first hand.” He smiles.

“No hard feelings,” she jokes, a small laugh escaping her throat. “Did you want to talk about anything else?”

He stays silent for a few moments, mulling over the words in his head as he ponders about saying them, ponders about opening up old wounds.

“No,” He says, deciding to draw a line on what could have been, choosing instead to try and work on gaining her back as his friend. His close friend. Maybe his best. “No that’s it.” He tells her with a smile.

She nods, leading the way to her front door, almost closing it as he steps out only to stop when he turns back to face her.

“You know you’ll always have me, right?” He questions shyly, as if he’s unsure, “No matter what…”

She stares at him, clearing her throat before speaking.

“I know.” She tells him softly, smiling as her eyes meet his properly since he walked out three months ago. “I know.”

“Good.” He nods, “Good night.”

“Goodnight.” She smiles, watching him walk off before closing her door, his words ringing in her ears like a siren.

Knowing about Beth and meeting, Beth, turn out to be two completely different feelings.

You can ignore the existence of someone you’ve never met, trick yourself into thinking that they’re no one, that’s it’s nothing.

You can’t ignore them however, once you’ve met them. Seen first hand the happiness written over their faces.

That’s something Emily learns while hungover, stood at the finish like of a triathlon, staring at Aaron’s smile as he hugs the other woman, the way his eyes almost shimmer as he looks at her…Beth. The happiness that radiates of him causes her stomach to turn and she has to look away while she does her best to ignore their laughs, turning to watch him, Beth and Jack walk away, her heart cracking in her chest as she watches him smile into their kiss, forcing herself to look away and follow JJ and Penelope to Reid’s car, throwing on a smile while spilling a lie about her head when they ask why she looks like she’s just seen a ghost.

The conversation with Regina sends her right back to where she started, hitting home more than she would have liked and she knows its obvious when Hotch lets her go back to the hotel, telling her she was done for the day and to take sometime to herself.

She’s no idea how much time had past, how long she’d been staring at the ceiling replaying how well her life was going before Ian had found her, how happy she was, maybe the happiest she’d ever been. She thinks about how he’d run a hand down her spine as they spoke in hushed whispers in his bed, confessions and laughs shared between the two in the late hours of the night, as though they were the only two people in the word. She thinks about how he’d cup her jaw gently before kissing her if she babbled on too much, leaving them both smiling into their kiss, pure happiness written on both their faces as they each tore further into the others heart, the feeling of forever lingering in the air as they wrapped themselves in each other.

She turns her head to the door at the gentle three taps and sits up, running a hand through her hair as she walks over, already knowing who it is before she even opens the door.

“Hey,” He says softly, passing her as she moves aside to allow him in. “Are you okay?”

“I will be,” She tells him, “Just a tough case.”

“I know how hard it must have been, to listen to Regina.”

“It’s fine,” She tells him, “She was right. Mine is dead.”

“Doesn’t make it any easier.” He tells her from experience and she looks down, wiping her tears just as quick as they fall but not quick enough, already feeling him talking steps towards her before stopping mere inches away, cupping her face gently as he had done so many times before, and wiping her tears.

“It’s going to be okay.” He tells her gently, her eyes meeting his and in that moment it’s easy to let themselves believe for a second it’s him and her again, that there’s no Beth, no Ian and no Boston, just them, a mere year ago, happy and on their way to love. 

His lips are almost on hers when she places to flat hands into his chest, pushing him away slowly as she drops her head.

“We can’t,” she whispers, “You’re with Beth.”

He steps back, “sorry, I should…I should go.” He mumbles, looking around the room as he clears his throat.

The words I want you die on his tongue as he forces himself to walk out of the room, flashes of their nights together playing on a loop in his brain as he screws his eyes shut.

They don’t talk about what almost happened.

She continues to watch his happiness increase as months go by, and carries on pretending that she’s fine, that she isn’t dying inside with every passing moment she spends watching him smile at another woman, watching him be happy with someone else.

He finds her for the second time at JJ’s wedding, a few hours after their previous conversation. He comes up to the side of her, smiling as she laughs at one of his lame jokes and as she turns to face him, he stills, a look on her face one he hasn’t seen before.

“Do you love her?” She asks softly, and he nods.

“I do.” He tells her and she rolls her lips, nodding her head as she forces herself not to cry. “But not like I loved you.” He continues and her eyes snap up to his, examining his features for a tell he’s lying and failing, her heart beating rapidly against her rib cage. She stares a few more moments, before gently placing a hand on the side of his face, catching his lips with her own in a delicate kiss, looping her hands to rest on the back of his neck when his arms softly wrap around her waist and pull her into him.

Their foreheads rests together as they separate and she smiles sadly.

“I miss you already.” He whispers, pulling her into a hug.

“Be happy.” She whispers back, before pulling from his arms and smiling at him, the words but please don’t be happier with her than you were with me renaming unsaid, taken instead by, “You should go, I’m sure Jack will be looking for you.”

He nods, turning to face the garden, before looking back at her.

“Go,” She laughs sadly, “I’ll be right out.”

He squeezes her hand before walking off and once he’s out of view, she takes a deep breath and turns, catching a glimpse of him, Jack and Beth as they laugh together in a corner, and even though it kills her, she has to be happy for him, she loves him, and with a heavy exhale she knows that’s all she wants, for him to be happy, even if it is without her.

She flies to London and he lets her go. He lets her go without ever telling her that it’s her he was ever truly happy with. Starting to find far too many similarities within Emily and Beth. He sees Emily’s face sometimes when he kisses Beth, imagines it’s her spine he’s tracing his fingers across and thinks of her when he envisions forever.

He ends it with Beth six months later, a tumble of apologies falling from his mouth as she walks out with a sad smile and a nod.

“You should call her.” Beth says as she stands in the doorway, “Emily.” She tells him as he frowns, his eyes widen and then she’s gone.

He calls her two weeks later and three weeks after that, is standing in front of her door, drenched head to toe as he waits for her to answer.

The smile she gives him when she opens the door makes the terrible weather and the awful traffic worth it and when her lips crash into his, he realises he’s never needed anyone but her to be happy.

fin