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mysticalsoot · 1 year

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This is it, this is what joy feels like, doesn't it?

A/N: this was meant as my gift to my valentine for Grey's Valentine's Exchange but since it has been cancelled I decided to quickly finish it up and dedicate it to not only grey because they need it with how rough the exchange ended up being but also my new found friend on here! I'm really proud of this and Im very surprised at how much I wrote in such little time (5k is a lot okay lol) I hope you all enjoy it and happy early Valentine's! (I'm still gonna post a special Valentine's blurb!)

Pronouns: they/them, uses of y/n

Pairings: Cc!Wilbur x Reader

Summary: Wilbur and Reader have known each other since their early teens, and despite having painfully obvious feelings for the other, they ignore them in the sake of saving their friendship. James concocts an outing for the two and maybe it goes according to plan?

Warnings: swearing, angst but with a ton of fluff at the end! also there is a kiss but not detailed bc I in fact have never been kissed so I'm going off gut feeling lmao. also mentions of alcohol and drinking (I've also never drunk alcohol so I don't know much about that either so another guessing game there too).

Words: 5.3k

Dedicated to: @grey-rambles @loverboy-soot

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James had invited Wilbur, Ash, Tommy, Rue, and you over to his place to hang out. It was mostly Mario Kart and James fucking screaming the Wario sound, but it was fun. There was food and a few rounds of uno with Ash, Tommy, and Rue, but despite all the festivities, Wilbur hadn't joined in any of them. He sat in the farthest corner from you and the rest of the group, the corner of James' loveseat didn't seem very comfortable anyhow. But there he sat, hands folded and rested between his thighs, his eyes darted from the group to the wall, to the TV, and back to his lap. He seemed so dazed like he wasn't fully there in the moment like he was somewhere else.

The absence of his laugh and his smile...and his voice, concerned you. It wasn't like him to isolate himself like this, it was one thing to stop answering messages and hiding in his flat but straight out isolating himself at a social gathering was nothing like him. You wanted to find him in his corner, bring him away from the others and ask him what was wrong, what you did every time he found himself anxious and shutting down. But every time you tried someone would pull you away, ask questions or bring you into banter. Staring at him, contemplating doing something wasn't helpful so maybe engulfing yourself in the festivities around you would help. It was selfish, yes, but there wasn't much you could do. The chances of him brushing it off and saying he was fine and completely ignoring the subject at hand were much more probable than him stepping aside and delving into his anxieties with you. So you pushed it aside and focused on whatever shit James and Tommy were debating about at this point.

“James,” Tommy pauses for emphasis, his hands folded in front of his face and eyes closed, “You are one deaf fucking bastard.”

“I’m hearing you! I’m just saying your point is invalid and ill-informed!” James counters, despite the possible hostility of their bickering, it's known by everyone that it's just light-hearted poking and prodding at each other, nothing substantial to be worried about.

Something you could slip away from easily…

“Says the man who is convinced that the creeper is the elite hostile mob in Minecraft?? It blows shit up and is extremely difficult to kill at the start of the game! The true elite mob is the zombie, they are slow and easy to hit.” Tommy then stands up and his face plastered with a smug smile. He knows he's right even if the topic at hand is trivial and childish at best.

"You're an asshole, Thomas Simons. I'm right, you're wrong." James is quick to poke at him, and you catch a small, soft smile forming on Wilbur's features. He's gazing at the chaos in front of you, no longer on his jeans or the spots on the wall. It's on the people now. His friends.

The thought brings a glimpse of hope to you, maybe it's just a fluke and he's okay. Nothing to worry about, he's not being self-destructive right now. It's okay.

It wouldn't hurt to get him to join the conversation, would it? "What do you think, Wil? Who's the most elite hostile mob?" You pose the question with a smile on your face, eyes locked on his, gauging how he was feeling by the way his eyes went wide and his mouth opened to speak but nothing came out. Anxious, noted, not anything new and revolutionary but something to note when speaking to him.

"Um, Skeletons I guess?" His answer is unsure and it's probably because he wasn't really listening in the first place, just observing his friends having fun and bickering, doing anything he can to keep his mind off the anxiety dwelling in his head.

“Skeletons? That is the most basic bitch answer! Also, it’s invalid because they can shoot you from sixteen blocks away!” Tommy counters his answer and he gets riled up again, rushing to pull up some sort of resource list as if this was a school assignment.

Wilbur’s face drops again, but his eyes are still trained on the group as they begin bickering again. Rur and Ash decided to chime in this time, both with their own very opinionated thoughts on the matter. It began to get tenser, despite the laughs and smiles, the abrupt yells were enough to push anyone already on edge even further.

It was best to get him out of there, even if it was for a moment. So you stood from your spot at the sofa to walk over to where Wilbur placed himself. Pushed into the corner of the loveseat farthest from the group. Now that you're closer, you notice how straight he's sat, his whole body is tense and his face is flushed.

You put your hand out to him, an offering, “Come on, Wil,” It’s muttered as a mere whisper, but he hears it. His head tilts up to look at you, eyes still wide and overflowing with unease.

“Okay,” He whispers, taking your hand in his and standing up from his own spot. His shoulders slouch, making him seem slightly shorter --- he still towers over you, but it makes him seem vulnerable and small.

You tighten your grip on his hand, in a comforting way and lead him out of the living room, through the hall, and into the dark kitchen. No one seems to notice the absence of either of you, they're too busy arguing over a block game to think about much else. He lets your hand go after the door is closed and he goes to sit on the floor in the corner of the room against the kitchen cabinets. Wil pulls his knees up to meet his chin and he wraps his arms around his legs.

“Are you okay?” You slide down the cabinet to sit next to him, your hand resting on his knee drawing circles with your thumb.

“Mmm, ‘m fine.” He mumbles, his head between his knees and his face hidden.

“As your best friend, I do not believe that.” You try to lighten the mood, be playful in hopes he’ll at least crack a smile.

“I’m fine.” He lifts his head and looks to you, despite how hard he tries it's not convincing.

“Yeah, yeah, and the queen’s alive. Come on, Wil.” You laugh, moving to card through the curls atop his head.

"I'm okay." He tries to fake a smile to rid your concerns but it's not that easy anymore.

"You don't have to tell me, but you can admit when you're not okay, love." The pet name was merely a slip for you and when you noticed you used it, you wanted to crawl into yourself. Hideaway and forget everything you said. Surely to others, it's not a big deal but it's not like you can give any hint at your feelings for him, feelings you know aren't reciprocated.

He simply hums in response with his head back between his knees, and you take your hand away from his hair and drop it on your lap. You want to help him, make him feel better but this is making you feel so hopeless. You can't let him wallow but he's stubborn, it's not easy to get through his shell.

"Wanna tell me about the French Revolution?" The question was merely a suggestion, a bribe to get him to speak in more than two words per sentence.

And it worked, his head lifted up almost immediately and his eyes were wide with excitement, "Really? Are you sure?" His voice is soft but you can practically hear the joy in the way he spoke.

"Of course, tell me all about it." As you mutter the last bit, you lean your head against the cabinet and gaze up at him. His smile is wide and he's now let his knees fall to where his legs are stretched out in front of him. Stupid lanky bastard.

"Okay so, the revolution of 1789 had maaany different causes, primarily economical and political," And so he went on for what felt like hours, but you enjoyed the chatter. You liked seeing him so giddy and happy over something he loved like this. He's an absolute history buff and most people don't care to sit still long enough to listen, except for his brother, you, and sometimes Ash. So you let him talk your ear off, you asked questions, and let him tell you all the little details and factoids he's learned over the years.

After a while, your eyes began to droop and feel heavy, and you kept having to pull your head back up to keep yourself awake. So you settled with resting your head on Wilbur's shoulder as he continued telling you about one of the many corrupt French kings. You wrapped your left arm around his middle and your right hand rested on the shoulder you laid on. You were comfortable and he didn't seem to mind the contact.

"Sleepy?" He breaks his info dump and runs his hands through your hair. You were far too drowsy to think twice about the action or to get nervous about it as usual, so you just hummed and nuzzled further into him.

"Keep talking." Your words were muffled by his sweater but he understood, and so he did just that. He continued on about the revolution and everything that came after before he himself began to doze off. His head leaned against yours and before he knew it, he was passed out too.

----

"Hey, has anyone seen Wilbur?" James chimed in, the Lion King plays on the TV, and everyone groans, and Tommy pauses the movie.

"Dude, it was the best part!" Tommy exclaims and dramatically throws his head onto the back of the couch.

"Sorry! Wil just disappeared, so I was just wondering if anyone saw him." James reiterates, hands in the air in surrender before dropping them to the floor on either side of himself.

"I'm sure the guy's fine, he's probably somewhere with his best friend anyways," Rue reassures James, her arms crossing over her chest.

"Those two are inseparable," Ash adds.

"And they are so obvious too! It's annoying." Tommy grunts in that typical little sibling way.

James frowns, clearly not satisfied with how calm and not worried his friends are. Ash notices and pats his friend on the back, and James' shoulders slump.

"Dude if you're so worried about them, go find them." Rue leans against the back of the couch, crossing her ankles and resting them on the coffee table. James growls and shoves her feet off the table, Rue then rolls her eyes. "So mean.."

“Fine, I will.” James groans and lifts himself off the floor where he sat and he as well makes his way out of the living room. He heads through the hall, peaking into the dining room; nothing. He checks the guest bed next, also nothing; and then his office, still nothing. He checks every room before he settles on checking the kitchen- the last spot he expected to look. The moment he peaks his head through the door he catches a glimpse of both you and Wilbur cuddled against each other, sound asleep.

“Aww, cute,” Rue whispers behind James and he jumps, yelling a slew of curses at his friend. She simply laughs in response. James looks back to be sure the interaction didn't wake the two of you, and surely it didn't. He would have never been so thankful for how heavy of sleepers you two were.

James backs away from the door, being sure to close it as slowly and quietly as possible, and then he ushers Rue down the hall and back to the sitting room where the rest of their friends were. He then happily plops down onto his sofa, right next to Tommy.

“So, are they okay?” Ash’s expression is one of concern, but calm still.

“Oh they're fine,” James takes a swig of the drink he left on the coffee table, “But we have some matchmaking to do.”

----

“We’re meeting at the pub around the corner, that's right, James?” The entire situation is confusing and getting a confirmation out of James is the worst hell that you desperately want to crawl out of.

"Yes, yes, that pub. I told you like ten times already." James sighs in a loud obnoxious way and if it weren't for the fact you loved him, he would be dead on sight. Or on sight when you both got to the damn pub.

"It's not my fault you give shitty instructions and clarification!" You do your best to whisper yell through the phone, he may annoy the fuck out of you but you don't hate him, and if he lost his hearing because of you—you couldn't mess with him.

"Oh my god, stop whining and get your ass over here." You're about to snap back at him and then he hangs up just as quickly as the words roll off his tongue.

You groan and drag your feet on the sidewalk, desperate to make your trek longer so you can postpone seeing James a little more. I mean, you love him but fuck can he be an annoying little shit sometimes. He's really good at it too and you don't know how he manages it.

Unfortunately, you're in front of the pub way quicker than you thought you would be. You're quick to open the door, and rush in before you push through the crowd to find any inkling of where your friends have situated themselves. James didn't mention which table the rest of their friends sat at, so you assumed he didn't know either seeing as he was on his way here as well.

You're about to give up when you spot a familiar Pinterest hipster across the pub. Wilbur is sat alone at a booth, holding what seems to be a simple water as he himself eyes the tables and bar as well as the sea of people standing around the place.

You smile and wave your hand at him, signaling that you're there. He smiles too, waving back and then gesturing for you to sit with him. You're quick to shuffle through the people surrounding you, muttering excuse me and I'm sorry's whenever you bump into someone or get just a hair too close to them. By the time you reach the booth, you're out of breath from swimming through the crowd. You plop down on the spot next to Wil and you rest your head face first on the table.

"Why is James so annoying?" You pose the question, all muffled and not really meant to be answered, simply spoken into the void.

"Hell if I know, he told me the rest of the group was here but I couldn't find them." Wilbur speaks in such a nonchalant way that you would think he did this often, wait for his friends to be there and either be late or not come at all. But you know he doesn't do this often, I mean it was more common in middle school and high school, but now he's an adult and you know his current friends wouldn't do that. I mean you're his best friend after all, you notice way more about him than you would care to notice.

"So you think they've ditched us?" You move your head to face him, eyes looking up to him and his own looking down at you. You swear you could see a smile forming on his lips.

"Hah, maybe." He laughs and then switches to gaze at his hands resting in his lap.

You lift your head up, and lean against the back of the booth. You rest a hand on his shoulder and he looks to you, "You're my favorite anyway." You pat his shoulder before removing your hand only for it to find great interest in the sleeves of the jacket you wore out today. One of Wilbur's old jackets his arms were too long for. It's oversized but it's comfortable and a hundred percent smells like him, so it's comforting.

"Ash isn't even your favorite?" He's smirking now and you can tell he's almost completely forgotten about James and the clan.

"He's a close second." You throw a soft smile to him and you can feel your cheeks warm and turn red.

———

"Wow, France is fucking shitty." You let out a soft laugh, taking a sip of whatever alcoholic beverage was the special—you didn't care, it tasted good and didn't burn horribly so it did just fine for you.

"I know!" Wilbur slurs and then laughs, throwing his head back to lean against the back of the booth. He turns to face you, smile wide and face pink from being a bit too tipsy.

"You're smart, Wil. You know that?" You rest your chin in your hand and look in his eyes. You never really noticed how rich and…deep they were. It was endearing to look at.

"Not really, I just know a lot." He shrugs, gaze dropping and face draining from positivity.

"Isn't that the definition of smart?" You reach your hand out to rest against his arm. He doesn't move or flinch. It's like your touch is second nature.

There's a silence, he doesn't say anything, you don't say anything. Your friends still aren't here and it's been an hour and a few drinks in—you're beginning to wonder what James' intentions were.

"They ditched us didn't they?" You lean your own head against the backboard.

"Oh they sure as hell did." Wilbur lets out a soft chuckle and the sight makes your heart flutter.

"Wanna go back to mine?" The question is simple and you play with the idea of looking away from him, to dull the sting if he says no—or rejects you without even admitting anything to him—but you decide to turn your head and gaze upwards at him.

A soft smile, a breathy laugh, he turns his head to face you, "Of course,"

It takes a good twenty minutes to get back to your flat, which is only a ten minute walk from the pub James tricked the two of you to go into, but with both of your slighter drunken states, it was safe to say it took a lot longer. Stumbling, giggling, slurred speech, a hand on the small of your back, your arm around his torso. There was no such thing as a ten minute walk on your minds.

The walk down the cobble path to the door of your flat is a tricky one. Wilbur only had a few shots but he hadn't been drinking in a while so his ability to handle much alcohol was severely lacking at the moment—so he was stumbling a lot. He nearly fell in the bush a few times but you were able to keep your grip on him, keeping him steady. You yourself weren't in the best of shape either, but you managed. Surprisingly neither of you had felt the least bit nauseous yet, which was a tremendous thing.

You struggled a few moments with your keys before Wilbur got off the wall where he leaned and said, "Here, lemme try." He was quick to find the right key and turn it in the keyhole. The door clicked and Wilbur turned the door knob and pushed it open. He stepped aside and bowed, his right arm over his stomach and his left out stretched in a gentlemanly manner. "Royalty first, as always." You smile and are sure your laugh is heard by the man.

"Why, thank you kind sir!" You exclaim, folding your hands like a queen in a ball gown and dramatically walk in the door. He laughs and follows you in, closing the door and locking it behind him.

You lead him to the living room just to the left in the corridor and curl up on the couch and shove your shoes off your feet. Wilbur follows and does the same, his head next to yours and his legs curled up next to him.

"Hi," He whispers to you, smiling softly and gaze set up on you.

"Hi," you pause, readjusting your legs to be held against your chest. "I'll take the couch, you take the bed, that cool?" Your eyelids begin to feel heavy and so you rest them, unable to spot the reaction Wilbur gave you.

"No, not cool." He states plainly, your eyes shoot open. Did you upset him? What did you say wrong? Your mind runs wild and he seems to notice your anxiety bubbling. Your slightly tipsy self, not doing a great job at hiding it. "I take the couch, you take the bed."

"No, you take the bed, I take the couch."

"Darling," He warns and the pet name shocks you both, and it seems as though the alcohol has an effect on both of your filters, his and yours.

"I said what I said and I stand by it!" You cross your arms over your chest and playfully move to look away from him.

He groans in an artificial annoyance and you smile to yourself.

"How about this," He begins and you turn back to face him, he's sat up now, legs pulled up to his chest still. "We both take the bed? That way we both win."

"Mmm, as long as you're okay with it, I am."

Wilbur smiles and nods, "It was my brilliant idea, now wasn't it?" A smirk forms.

"Goddamn, you and your stupid ego." You roll your eyes and Wilbur huffs.

"Oh shut it." He snaps back, going to stand and walk out the door and across the hall to the bedroom. You follow him and quickly go to the cupboard on the left beside the door. Your bed is prepared to warm one person, not two, so you need extra blankets and maybe another pillow or two.

"Dude, when's the last time we shared a bed?" You break the silence, chuckling to yourself as you hear Wilbur shuffle around the bathroom—presumably to find his old toothbrush he left at your place that one time he stayed for a week six months ago.

"Like the last time I stumbled to your door drunk as fuck?" He sighs before exclaiming an Aha presumably because he found the toothbrush he was looking for.

"You really need to stop drinking that much, especially alone. I'm not always gonna be here to be a pick me up for your sorry ass." You throw the blankets you pulled out onto the bed and jumped in face first. "So comfy." It's meant as a whisper, but Wilbur manages to pick it up.

"Save some blankets for me, meanie." He turns on the faucet and he's then silent for a moment before the sound of brushing sounds from the bathroom.

"No, they're mine. I bought them with my money, dickwad." You grunt and turn over, wrapping yourself in a little blanket cacoon.

Wilbur lets out a laugh, and the faucet sounds again before the tapping of the toothbrush on the side of the sink. Before you know it, the other side of the bed dips and you feel a blanket being snatched from you. You don't have the energy to fight it, so you let it go.

"Wow, my best friend being generous to me? What world do we live in.." He mutters, laughing more to himself than anything.

"Too tired to care."

"Not because you love me? Oh my heart!" He dramatically clutches his heart and lets out a breathy chuckle.

"Only because tired." Your words become more slurred and they're muffled by the pillow you have your face in.

"Yeah, yeah." He sighs, and then tosses around a few times, getting comfortable. The bed creaks with his every move and you can hear him groan in annoyance at the sound.

The creaking stops, and Wilbur stops moving. He's situated now, but he's on his back staring at the ceiling.

Many thoughts run through his mind but one in particular stands out; Should I tell them?

The concept is foreign, expressing undiscussed emotion that could be detrimental information if provided at the wrong time—it's scary. What is he meant to do? Lye around and pretend he didn't get nervous at your touch, or your pet names or the way you willingly am letting him sleep next to you—and while the latter wasn't unusual in the past, it was now, given the two of you being in your early 20s and having been avoiding sleepovers since you turned 18. Although there was only so much you could do when Wilbur came stumbling to your door pissed out of his mind.

He bit the bullet. What's the worst that could happen? A Lot actually.

But he figured he should give context first, background.

"Do you know why I was sulking that day at James'?" He breaks the comforting silence that fell between you two. He doesn't mind it but he figured he must act now before he chickens out.

"I figured you were just having a bad day, and once I offered a France info dump you seemed pretty okay. Was there something I missed?" You turn your head back to face him, eyebrows knitted in genuine—sober—concern.

"I was upset," He pauses, beginning to place the pieces in his mind of what to say next and then after that and then after that and so on. "It's kind of stupid, I guess-"

You cut him off, "Nothing, and I mean nothing you say is stupid, Wil. I promise." You're sitting up now, crisscrossing applesauce on the bed, your body facing him but your eyes trained on his own eyes. "What was wrong?"

He closes his eyes, "I guess, I was getting sort of fed up with myself. See, I really really like this person—" He pauses to sit up himself, he gazes down at you as he leans his back against the wall. He reaches for your hand and draws circles on your palm with his thumb, his eyes painfully focused on the lines drawn in your skin. "They're wonderful, and one of my closest friends. I've liked them for a long while, love them even but a part of me knows they don't reciprocate my feelings—so I was feeling sorry for myself. It had been years and no moves had been made and so I felt hopeless. That person was so happy that day, and I was pissed I wasn't the reason for their smile." He sighs, letting go over your hand and leaning against the headboard, eyes closed shut.

Your voice is but a whisper, "Who is this mystery person?"

He hesitates for a moment, but he's this far already, there isn't any going back.

"You." The answer is simple, straightforward and blunt but it hits you hard nonetheless. Handfuls of emotion are thrown at you like confetti and you can't even begin to sift through and identify them all. You're in shock, that's for sure, but everything else? There's no telling.

You smack his shoulder, "William! You should have said sooner, you asshole!" Your tone is playful but your words would say otherwise. Elated.

"Ouch! What was that for?" He rubs the side of his arm, wincing for a split second before meeting your eyes.

"Not telling me." Frustration.

Silence, no more words slip from either of your tongues. It's simply quiet, the humming of the fan you set up hours ago, sirens sounding outside in the city —your breathing, his breathing. Fear.

"I like you too, you know." You look down, despite him already confessing to you, admitting this is still terrifying, and odd to you.

"Oh, I know." He smiles, and you mentally smack yourself for saying something you know would get some stupid snarky comment.

"You and your damn ego, Soot." You shake your head, smiling fondly at him.

"Oh but don't you love my ego, my dear?" The man is still tipsy.

"Hey, why don't you shut up?" He smirks, and you immediately regret your words, well, partially — he reaches his hand up to rest on your cheek, and he brings your face closer to his, lips millimeters apart and breath fanning on each other's faces.

"Can I?" It's a simple request but you nod, smiling whilst your heart warms. He leans in closer, your own lips meeting his in a soft loving exchange.

You smile into the kiss, giggling a few times throughout. You rest your hands on the back of his neck and his own hands fall to rest on your sides.

It's not as dramatic as you imagined, figuring if he felt the same he would have some grand confession —but you like this, you really do. It's calm, private—it's tremendously better than a heated confession in the rain, at least in your opinion.

You both break apart, smiles wide as ever and you're out of breath. You lurch forward, wrapping your arms around him and your head hitting his chest, settling into him. It takes him a moment to reciprocate but when he does, his own arms snake around you, pulling you closer to him.

Wilbur's head dips down to rest on top of yours and you hum happily. This is it, this is what joy feels like, doesn't it? Warm arms around you, the sound of his beating heart—he starts to hum, what sounds like one of his songs.

The night goes on like this, the two of you wrapped around each other, Wilbur humming songs he knows or wrote and the occasional comment on how long it took you two, followed by laughter.

This was joy, he was joy.

The next day, you awoke to your phone buzzing like no tomorrow. You were groggy and really didn't want to even bother looking, but the sound managed to send you into a slight panic. Your legs were still wrapped with Wilbur's, and his head was resting on your chest and his stupidly long arms were pulling you into him. You looked over at the end table on your left and snuck your phone into your grip.

You groaned as you pressed answer on the incoming call that created your woken state. It was James.

"What do you want, James? It's 2am." Your tone is that of a very annoyed person, and James winces over the call.

"I hadn't heard from you and Wilbur's not answering his phone or his door, so I figured you two ran off and died." His words all jumbled together and you laugh much to his distaste, "Be serious here!"

"We should've run off, honestly. Maybe we would have gotten some peace and quiet then." You set your gaze down at the man with his arms around you, and you smiles sweetly.

"You're a dick—are you two okay? Do I need to send like a police force or something?" James is still frantic with how he speaks but you can tell he's calming down by the second.

"We're fine James, okay? We're at my place. We drank a little last night and my apartment was the closest." You pause, but before he can get a word in, "Thank you for setting us up." There's a smirk on your face and James can hear it in the way you spoke.

"What—I, I didn't set you up!" He's quick to his defense and you laugh.

"Yeah, no you definitely did."

"Did it work?" He asks, ditching the defensive attitude from the moment prior.

"Yeah, yeah it did. Thank you." You lean your head back, phone still pressed to your ear and your free hand carding through Wilbur's mop of curls.

"Good."

#cc!wilbur #cc!wilbur x reader #dsmp wilbur #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur #wilbur soot x you #wilbur soot x gn!reader #wilbur soot #wilbur soot x y/n #happy (much early) valentines day!

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isa-ghost · 1 year

Note

hey it's the anon who asked what dr*m did,

I decided to do my own research (mainly cause I was curious) but... I can't find much? let me rephrase it - I did find the allegations from 6ish months ago, that he's going to court with one(?) of them, but that's... all? I didn't find the court's verdict, confirmations, or him admitting either... and any post or video I find has both the OP and the comments mostly on his side and believing that it's either not true or true but not grooming, even people who say they're not his fans or don't even like him.

so Im not sure if the confirmation didn't reach youtube or if I'm searching wrong or something?

but honestly while researching I realized that I cant stand him lmao, gotta agree with some comments I read - he made a mistake by showing more of his personality online, looks like any time he can handle a situation wrong/respond wrong he does it

so dunno, guess I didnt find the confirmation but at least now I don't find his old minecraft videos interesting anymore so theres that

Yeah he can't act properly to save his fucking life

Also I think most of the threads on Twitter and stuff that have all the proof he's guilty/etc is probably long buried, unfortunately. You could probably try to ask around saying you're trying to get the whole picture but tbh it's not a huge deal if you can't. You can try searching my blog but Tumblr sucks with that shit. The fact that this and his other controversies have been buried and lost to the void of the internet is typical white boy with a monstrously big platform shit so I'm not surprised. I never heard any details about court (prob for legal reasons) or a conviction either. All I know is there was screenshot proof from the victim that they talked, and Dr*m confirmed the screenshots were real but didn't say anything about other details. But those details literally can't be false if the screenshots & the shit said in them are true.

Anyway, as far as his other bullshit goes:

People found old kkk meme edits on his yt account through the wayback machine. More than once if I'm not mistaken

He has a history of defending himself using the r slur

He cheated "on accident" in a speedrun (the least important thing ever but everyone always brings it up)

He claimed he was going to donate all proceeds during pride month to lgbt+ charities & he'd do charity streams all month but never did

He defended himself about replying to haters, which would send thousands of his toxic stans after the person getting them doxxed/death threats/etc and he refused to address that it was irresponsible of him bc he was too entitled to immaturely clap back at the antis. Even other ccs, like B/itzel called him out about shit related to how he uses his platform irresponsibly & he unfollowed & shaded them like a bitch baby

The whole "accidental" copycat shit with QSMP/USMP and basically softcore stalking Q/uackity online.

His "apologies" for all of the above fucking sucked in multiple ways. And that's just 2021-Now shit I can remember off the top of my head, I lost my Twitter in May last year so now I get my info from people's posts about it on here or links to tweets.

Everyone largely suspects he spontaneously reignited d/smp lore & started the finale to cover up the groomer thing bc he has a history of doing smth "new and cool" every time he causes drama to divert attention and avoid accountability.

He's also suspected of suddenly rewriting the d/smp finale to paint his Irredeemable Abuser Villain Up Until The Last Stream as a sympathetic poor baby out of nowhere and wrote that his victim, c!Tommy apologized to him, which sends a HORRIBLE message about abusive relationships. T/ommy and T/ubbo have both subtly mentioned not liking the finale and that Dr*m had AWFUL communication during the last like 6+ months of the smp.

He also suddenly showed up in T/ubbo's chat lurking while T/ubbo happened to be mentioning he'd do his own research on the grooming situation instead of blindly siding with Dr*m and it was some shit out of a horror movie is2g, he suddenly dmed T/ubbo out of nowhere during it on discord saying they'd talk about it after T/ubbo wasn't streaming. Basically sounds like he was gonna bias T/ubbo about his innocence. Like he hadn't been in chat all stream long but SUDDENLY he was there the second the topic came up. But the d/smp ccs also can't say anything about the situation since it's a legal matter, so a handful of ccs have just stated/implied they don't support him other ways

He only quit MCC bc he threw a tantrum about how he couldn't practice for it but now that MCC island exists, people were getting better than him. He's habitually a sore loser about that kinda shit

He's got that whole weird "is he, isn't he" bullshit going on about him being lgbt. I personally think he's just catering to his stupid d/n/f shippers bc they like to truth their relationship & sexuality all the time and he's never explicitly said he's bi or smth. He's just vaguely been like "yeeeaahhhh I mostly like girls like 99% but maaaayyybeee I like guys idkkkk. 🤪" But he's also done that multiple times so who tf knows. I'm not gonna fully dismiss him & I understand no one including me is entitled to his specific sexuality, but he has garbage credibility on like everything so I'm neutral on the matter and find it hard to believe him

Not directly him related, but his stans went on a long and horrifying witch hunt on Twitter during the kkk ordeal doxxing, death threatening & harassing ENTIRE mcyt subtwts who spoke out against him and called him out on his racism, performative activism, shitty apology, etc. For example, I was part of S/neeg's subtwt and all my mutuals and me had to go private to avoid getting doxxed. It felt like being raided in some dystopian ass horror film. Entire subtwts were going private, panicking, paranoid they'd get outed & stalked & harassed by people just for condemning racism, raising Black voices, etc. It was borderline traumatic to some people, I know people who lost sleep over it bc they were so afraid.

That's all I can think of off the top of my head but the end of 2021 to early 2022 was a fucking nightmare between him being an immature entitled piece of shit and his stans blindly defending him and going out of their way to endanger people who rightfully opposed him.

#dream situation #<- this tag on Tumblr might be really helpful to you actually. a lot of ppl tag posts about current drm drama with it #if you go back far enough you might find threads about the allegations and stuff

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theflyingfeeling · 7 months

Text

Still bored, so here are some random BC fanfic ideas I've been playing with for a while but will never write due to a variety of reasons (so they are free to use!) ✨

1) Joel/Joonas with Joel being ace/aro and oblivious to Joonas being hopelessly in love with him (or maybe he does know but he just pretends he doesn't because he has no idea what to do about it). Bonus points if Joonas gets together / fools around with Niko and it works as a distraction quite nicely, until it doesn't (cue Niko being a good friend and calling it quits himself when he understands the true state of affairs and encouraging Joonas to do something or the very least tell Joel about his feelings, even if nothing would ever come out of it, because Joel deserves to know and, most of all, Joonas deserves to move on 😔)

2) A massage therapist AU in which Joonas is a masseur and Tommi his client. Tommi gets an awkward surprise boner during a massage and Joonas is bold enough to mention that they do also offer, ummm, erotic massages as well, in case Tommi is interested 😏 It takes Tommi a few more visits (and awkward boners (because maybe he's also developing a crush on his nice-looking masseur)) until Tommi finally books a prostate massage, and oh my oh my! 💦 his whole world turns upside down as he comes untouched by Joonas' skilful hands 😳 He's hooked from the very first prostate orgasm of his life and becomes a regular, with 2-3 weekly sessions booked, and he gets excited about them in the morning already (maybe a little too excited, if you get the gist 😌), and maybe eventually he manages to ask Joonas out 💕 (also inluded in this AU: Olli/Allu as Joonas' co-workers who are also boyfriends/husbands and use each other's massage rooms for their personal "sessions" at the end of the workday, yes very unprofessional I know 🥰)

3) Some sort of historical AU, with Olli as some kinda royalty or a nobleman or just a rich person in general, the rebel of his family however, having a secret fling with Aleksi the merchant's son. Cue lots and lots of flirting at the marketplace and passionate sex / rough fucking wherever and whenever, but tragically, Olli in this AU is also a bit of a fuckboy and manages to piss off Aleksi and/or make him jealous by acting unnecessarily touchy-feely with someone at the tavern. Aleksi gives him the silent treatment (picture him just silently working at his market stall ignoring Olli's flirting and his pleas). Heartbroken by this, Olli gets a little too drunk at the tavern and ends up in some kind of trouble from which Aleksi saves him (all the while sighing at his idiot boyfriend 🙄). The next morning in Aleksi's modest bedroom/house, Aleksi tries his best to maintain the cold shoulder attitude (because he is still kinda mad at Olli), but he fails horribly when Olli catches him staring and starts teasing him about it like the smug bastard he is 🥰 Also, an extremely important visual from this AU is Olli in a white, loose shirt whenever possible 🥵

4) A while back I was also thinking about another historical AU (because I looooooove historical AUs and period dramas 💖) about Niko being some kinda clergyman, a cantor perhaps, and Joonas a homeless person Niko made acquaintance with in the breadline, but sadly I can't remember too many details about this one 🤔 I guess Niko just starts doing a little extra to help out Joonas, and it's up for you to decide whether it's "helping him out" as in offering him food and maybe a roof above his head (secretly letting him stay overnight inside the church when the weather's too rough to sleep outdoors), or "helping him out" as in fucking him in the candlelit organ loft after the evening Mass 😌 Isn't the latter such a romantic image though? It's pitch black and stormy outside, the entire church is dark except for the candles they lit up on the organ loft, some old tapestry as their mattress (a holy relic, Niko later learns as he overhears the vicar and the sexton wonder about the strange stains on it 🤨), the sounds of their lovemaking echoing in the church... 🥺

5) I can't remember the pairing for this next one 🤔 Joonas was the other but I can't remember who the other was, so I'll leave it up for you to decide or suggest who'd be the best match for Joonas in this! Anyhow, an AU in which Joonas and Person B are neighbours, acquaintances and maybe crushing on each other a little, but not properly friends or anything like that. Mostly when they talk to each other it's because of Joonas' cute fluffy dog which Person B loves petting (and while he's at it he may as well exchange a word or two with the fluffy-haired owner 🥰). Person B is a little lonely and these interactions mean the world to him, but he's too shy/intoverted to actually ask Joonas to hang out other than in the hallway or front yard of their apartment building. One day, Person B sees Joonas going in his apartment without the dog, which he finds unusual, and through the paper-thin walls he hears Joonas sob his heart out. Worried, Person B goes knocking on Joonas' door to see if he's alright, and he finds a heartbroken Joonas telling him the dog had fallen suddenly ill and had to be put down that morning 😭 Person B steps in to comfort Joonas through the night, and so their budding friendship begins to bloom and maybe eventually turn into something more 💕 (now that I typed this it sounds all a little familiar but I can't put my finger on it if I've actually read this in a fic before 🤔 so I'm sorry if I copied someone's idea, it was not my intention!)

6) Okay this one I could write but won't because 1) I already wrote something similar, and 2) I don't want to portray Olli and Aleksi as some kinda horny and selfish cheaters, and if you don't want to even imagine that kind of things about them I suggest you stop reading now, and anyway PLEASE remember this is only fic talk, but ggghhghggghgaaaaahhhhggg I just can't stop imagining them hanging out in Aleksi's studio (late at night) and eventually one thing leads to another (wine may or may not be involved) and they end up kissing while Aleksi's spouse is upstairs 😭 maybe they even get interrupted by the spouse calling for them from outside the door or something and they'd sort of snap out of it and realise what they've done. Now there are a couple of the different scenarios for what could happen next (the 'evil' in this is the author):

neutral good: they realise they're in love with each other and peacefully break up with their spouses and live happily ever after 💞

chaotic good: they realise they're in love with each other and peacefully break up with their spouses who also somehow fall in love with each other (peer support turns into something more? 😌) and they ALL live happily ever after 🥰

chaotic neutral: they freak out and Olli immediately goes home (he lives nearby) and it's awkward for a while between them but eventually things go back to normal. They never speak about the kiss and pine for each other until the end of their days, never knowing if the other actually feels the same 💔

lawful evil: they freak out and Olli immdediately goes home and it's awkward for a while between them until it happens again and again and a couple of times more until they realise it's wrong and they should stop and then they pine for each other until the end of their days, fully aware the feeling is mutual 😭

neutral evil: they start fooling around behind their spouses' backs until they get caught by Aleksi's spouse (who, tbf, had began suspecting something by then; the amount of time they spent at the studio was getting a little to o suspicious). To make it extra evil, maybe the spouse doesn't even walk in on them but sees them through the window of Aleksi's studio and doesn't even do anything about it at first, deciding to give Aleksi multiple chances to spill it himself (as if that would change anything now the damage has already been done) 🫣

chaotic evil: Olli is staying at Aleksi's that night (he lives in Oulu) and they are forced to act normal while having dinner upstairs with Aleksi's spouse 💀

...thanks for reading 😇

#blind channel rpf #fic ideas for sale by theflyingfeeling #just don't ask me how i came up with some of these 🙈#lots of joonas in these for some reason! i do miss writing him 💝#the last one is pure evil and i'm sorry 💀

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gayjosh · 2 years

Note

hey! could you do a steve harrington one where the reader is kinda like billy so like bad guy smokes n stuff, and is just like an all round asshole and is so protective of steve

Ouu this is a good one thank you :) i made it longer than usual because i havent posted in a while and also bc this was very fun to write! <3

♡ Steve Harrington x Male Reader ♡

《Steve getting bullied, homophobia, fighting, crying, weapon + blood. Fluff, SFW》

FEM DNI

Tommy H.

That fucker.

As you turned the corner and made your way towards your locker, you saw him yelling at Steve again. He had a firm grip on the front of Steve's grey and blue striped sweater, pinning him against the wall and screaming right in his face.

"You turned into a fucking loser. Not to mention a fag. Come on Steve, at least try to fight back."

You dropped your bag next to your locker and walked towards him, squaring your shoulders.

"Hey, Hagan! Wanna say that shit again?" You towered over him, at least 6 inches taller. You could see the fear in his face as he looked at you and realized who you were, but he stood his ground, pushing Steve against the wall again, which made a loud thump, and Steve groaned.

"What? Fag? That's what he is." He looked back at Steve, a giant, ugly grin spread across his face. "Steve's a fucking fag. A dirty fucking fag."

You clenched your jaw. "Don't call him that, shithead."

"I can do whatever I want," he leaned towards you. "Faggot." He said it slowly, and you felt nothing but rage.

You curled your hand into a fist, and punched him right in the side of the face, and he fell to the floor with a thud.

Steve gasped and stepped away, watching from a few feet away as you grabbed Tommy's shirt and pulled him up. "Never call Steve a fag again, you hear me?!" You raised a fist up, threatening to punch him again.

His eyes widened and he put his hands up. "Fine! Jesus, you fucking psycho!" You pushed him down onto the floor, knocking the wind out of him. He scrambled to get up and quickly scurried away.

You smiled, but it quickly faded as you turned to find Steve sitting against your locker crying, his head in his hands. You hurried over to him and knelt down, comforting him. "Are you okay, Steve?"

He looked up at you, sniffling. "Yeah... I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Why do you care?"

Your heart dropped. "What do you mean? I just do. Did you think I didn't care about you?"

"I guess. I dunno, you're always angry. I didn't think you cared about anyone."

You smiled, gently wiping the tears from his face. "I'm not always angry. Especially not when I'm with..." You hesitated and then cleared your throat, realizing you probably shouldn't tell him you liked being around him. He probably wouldn't even care if you did tell him, anyway.

"With me?" He smiled, his sparkly brown eyes staring up at you.

You scoffed, quickly taking your hands off of him. "No. I-I don't even like being around you." You lied, cringing. You stood up and started nervously fiddling with the lock on your locker, trying to remember the code.

"Oh... Okay. Well uh, I'll just go." Steve got up and started walking away. You closed your eyes tightly, angry at yourself.

"Wait. Steve, come back." As soon as you said that, he spun around and walked back towards you. You grabbed his shoulders, leaning down slightly to be level with him. "Look. I do like being with you, okay? You make me happy."

His cute smile and happy, sparkly eyes came right back. "Really? If you're messing with me, y/n-"

"I'm not." You pulled him in and hugged him, sending waves of warmth and happiness through you.

You started to pull away, but he hugged you tighter. "You make me happy too." You blushed, trying to hide it when he finally pulled away. "Do you want to... Go on a date? You know, just as friends..."

"What if we didn't go as friends?" You were incredibly nervous suggesting this, but you hid your anxiety with a smirk, grabbing his hand and holding it. "I'll meet you at the arcade at 7." He looked down at your hand, then back up at you in disbelief, which made you even more nervous, until he smiled and nodded, gripping your hand tighter.

♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡

As you leaned against the passenger side of your car and took another puff of your cigarette, Steve pulled into the parking spot next to you, rolling down his window. "Hey, pretty boy." You smiled, walking over and leaning against his car. He leaned closer, the lights from the arcade shining on his face revealing those beautiful eyes looking up at you. You winked, opening his door for him, and his face developed a light red hue as he giggled, climbing out of the car.

"Did you just giggle, Harrington?"

"What? No, I- It wasn't a-" He blushed even harder. You hummed a laugh and grabbed his hand, holding it as you walked with him into the arcade. The sounds of the games beeping, buttons clicking and kids and teens laughing and talking all hit you at once. A couple of people watched the two of you walk by, some judging, some smiling, and one girl winked at the oblivious Steve, which you cringed at, trying not to snap at her.

"Oh, what about this one?" He pointed at one of the new machines that they had installed a few days ago. "Gauntlet. Looks pretty cool, huh?" He smiled at you, leading you towards the game. He put in a quarter, leaned in, and started smashing the buttons. He looked the most focused you'd ever seen him, and it was so adorable.

"You're so hot, Harrington, you know that?" You beamed, whispering over his shoulder as you gripped his ass. His eyes darted over to you then back to the game. He was blushing, and when you looked back at the screen he wasn't doing very well at the game anymore.

"Shit!" He groaned, throwing his hands up and turning to you. "This game sucks."

"Aw, Stevie, did I distract you?" You taunted, grabbing his waist and pulling him in towards you. You smiled down at him, admiring him and watching him swoon, his eyes darting back and forth between your eyes and your lips. You chuckled. "Go on, kiss me, pretty boy. What, too scared?" After a moment, your face and his got closer, your lips barely touching as a small whimper left him. You melted into a long, passionate kiss, your body pressing against his as he brought one of his hands up and tangled his fingers in your hair, his other arm wrapped around you to keep him stable. You felt like you were in heaven, until a familiar voice boomed from across the arcade, causing the couple dozen people inside to stop talking and look over at the entrance as the door slowly swung shut.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't L/n. What do you think you're doing?"

You sighed, rolling your eyes and pushing Steve behind you. You cracked your knuckles as you sauntered over to him and his two random buddies who stood behind him. "Listen, Hagan. We don't have to make a scene-"

CRACK!

Everyone in the arcade gasped. You winced, pressing a hand to the side of your face as you got your balance back. "Did you just fucking slap me?! You're gonna regret that, you bitch." You swung at him, hitting him square in the jaw. He fell to the floor, and while he tried to get back up one of his friends threw the next punch, which you dodged, returning the favor and landing a hard hit in his stomach. Staggering, he grabbed his stomach and backed away.

Tommy had gotten up, and kicked at you. Grabbing his leg, you twisted and swung him back towards the door, which he hit with a thud. The last guy ran towards you, and before you could realize he had a pocket knife, you grabbed him by the arm, tossing him off of you and kicking him in the gut. He landed by Tommy, both of them trying to catch their breath.

You felt a warm liquid dripping down your arm and looked down to see a line of blood dripping from your forearm, down your fingers, onto the arcade floor, the thick red seeping into a green patch of the patterned carpet. You looked back up towards them, and Tommy's friends were already running across the parking lot.

"THIS ISN'T OVER, FAG!" Tommy yelled, pushing his way out of the arcade.

You limped back over to Steve, who was staring wide-eyed at your arm. "You're... You're..."

"Bleeding? Yeah, I noticed." You sneered.

"Come on. We gotta go home and get you cleaned up." He led you back to his car, opening the door for you and helping you sit down, planting a soft kiss on your forehead before shutting the car door and running around to get in.

As he sped down the street back to his house, you looked over at him. He was focused- more than he was when he played Gauntlet. "You need to be more careful. And stop getting into fights like that!" You smiled, realizing how much he cared about you and leaning towards him, admiring him. "Y/n. Promise me you won't fight them again," he looked over at you and held your hand.

You scoffed. "I promise, pretty boy."

"Good. I love you."

Those words. You only ever imagined him saying that. Now that he had said it, and was holding your hand, speeding down the road to get you home and help you, you realized that he wasn't just another high school crush.

"I love you too, Harrington."

♡♡♡♡♡♡

#gay #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington x male reader #steve harrington #steve x male reader #i would protect him with my life #male reader #stranger things x male reader #stranger things introject #steve harrington fic #mlm fluff #stranger things mlm #stranger things fluff

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nonexistent-introvert · 1 year

Text

Birthdays (paper stars 9)

Paring: Joel Miller x f!reader

Word count: 4K

Content: Joel’s birthday, Sarah and Joel’s dynamic. Swearing (Im not sure my brain isn’t working.)

A/N: I went for HSLOT recently and idt I’ve truly recovered. Anyways enjoy this long chapter that is more messy than anything bc I’m writing this at 1am to deal with the fact that it’s a weekday tmr.

Paper stars masterlist

Tommy wanted to bury himself six feet under. The atmosphere, the tension and the sullen looks on Joel and your faces made him incredibly uncomfortable. He had spent almost an entire week before he managed to convince you to hang out with him and Joel. He had spent the same week assuring Joel that he would help make things right between the both of you. Tommy could not keep up a conversation between the three of you, he could only have a single conversation with one person at a time while the other drifts off into space.

You were trying your best to mask your emotions. The various notifications from Joel still sat unread and unnoticed on your phone. Tommy could tell that you were trying your best to keep the mood up with smiles that never quite reached your eyes, polite smiles that you had given to everyone. Joel used another strategy to masked his emotions, he didn’t hide his true feelings behind smiles but simply a blank and unreadable look. Preferring to withdraw himself.

“I fucking give up. What the hell happened between the both of you. You guys have never been this distant with each other before.” Tommy snapped, folding his arms over his chest. SImilar to an adult trying to settle a disagreement between two children. Joel glanced at you, his eyes shining with vulnerability. You looked behind Tommy’s shoulder, shuffling your feet with a small smile on your face. “It’s nothing Tommy.”

“Nothing?” Tommy huffed, “I could have been catching up on sleep today but I decided that i would play peacemaker between the two of you and this is what i have to go through?” tommy complained. “I never asked you to play peacemaker.” Joel muttered. A comment that earned him a single cold glare from you to which he looked away after. “Well, I’m sorry then. I’m sorry for always sticking my big fat nose into your affairs Joel. I guess I would always be the younger brother trying to kiss his older brother’s ass to you.” Tommy spat. Joel was losing his patience, paired with the lack of sleep and constant worry from the past few days, it was an understatement to say Joel was losing it. “Yeah? I’m glad you realised-”

“Enough already.” You pushed Joel away from Tommy. “Fucking hell.” You ran your hands through your hair. “Yes, something happened between us but as you can see none of us here is ready to talk about anything.” You told Tommy calmly. Tommy clenched his jaw, sparing a glance to you before he closed his mouth again. Biting back any remarks he was going to make. He quickly hailed a cab, slamming the door before the driver drove away.

“What the hell has gotten into you?” You shouted at him. Shaking your head in disappointment. Joel stood still, his eyes casted onto the floor. You pursed your lips, how much of him have just been a projection from your past? You turned your back when you heard his heavy footsteps. He held your arm with a firm grip. “Can we talk? Please.” He asked, his eyes boring into yours. You looked at him, contemplating an answer. He looked down, trying to find the right words. “You have been ignoring me and everything I did to reach out. Just listen to me this time and I’ll stop bothering you.” You didn’t miss the hurt look that flashed across his face when you wrung your hand out of his grip.

“What the hell was that to Tommy?” You asked, feeling unjust for your best friend. Tommy was trying to lift the mood, he didn’t deserve receiving those comments from Joel. “Fuck, I just- I just snapped at him. I’m sorry- I. Fuck I’m just a mess.” he laughed cruelly at himself. You leaned against a railing, inviting him to do so too. “Hey, just-calm down.” You comforted, Joel was sweating, his breaths was uneven. He already had enough health issues to worry about.

“I-. I meant to say that I’m sorry for standing you up. I didn’t mean to I swear. I just got carried away with the drinks.” “With another girl?” Joel’s eyes widened, did you see him? “You saw me?” You sighed, “I walked past the bar on my way back.” Your heart sunk, Joel had just confirmed your suspicions. “No, you got it all wrong. She’s Tommy’s girlfriend. I was with Tommy that day.” Joel let out a shaky breath, “Tommy asked me to go get drinks with him, he wanted me to meet his girlfriend. Her name is Maria.” You opened your mouth to ask for a further explanation. Then all the thinking you did for the past few days hit you, him drinking with another woman shouldn’t bother you. “I-I honestly don’t care that you’re drinking with others Joel. I was just upset that you stood me up without a further notice.” “I’m sorry, I know it doesn’t help but I just got carried away. It won’t happen again.” You turned away from him, a heavy question on your mind.

“Would there even be an ‘again’?” Joel tilted his head in confusion. You closed your eyes, swallowing the lump that was forming in the back of your throat. “What was that dinner even for Joel?” It was just another phrasing for the cliche question, “What are we?” He would notice if he knew how to read between the lines. Joel furrowed his eyebrows, the wrinkles making their presence known. He knew exactly what you meant, but the doubts that formed that day was present today again. “It’s just a simple dinner.” He replied. You nodded, chuckling lightly at his answer. It was all in your head all along. “I see.” You replied. “Thanks for clearing it up.” You smiled to him, a smile that seemed so distant.

“Are we… good?”

“Yeah, I guess we are.”

Joel knew he gave you the wrong answer as he watched your figure retreat into the distance. He kicked the ground frustratingly. It was for your own good. He told himself.

=================================

It was anything but good. Everything changed after that. You stopped coming around for dinner, Joel stopped coming around at night. The only time you talk to Joel is when Sarah is around. You started keeping yourself busy with work and other friends. Joel focused on his business and Sarah. It was like you guys had started waking your own separate paths.

Tommy noticed of course. His relationship with Joel went through a rough patch after that day too. It eventually evened out, like all the rough patches he had with Joel. At first he thought that the both of you just never resolved whatever happened. However, Joel wasn’t his distracted self, he was in fact even more focused than before. You started smiling and laughing more carefree, grinning from ear to ear when he sees you around or through pictures of you on social media with your friends.

“We settled it.” Joel had told him but your absence in Joel’s life made him realize that even if it may be resolved, something big had happened.

“Uncle Tommy.” Sarah snapped Tommy out of his daze. Tommy tightened his grip around Sarah’s hand, leaning down to ask her what’s wrong. “Do you know what happened between Dad and -“ Tommy’s loud sigh cut her off. He didn’t need her to finish her sentence to know. Sarah had always been an observant kid. Tommy shrugged, “Been wondering the same thing too.”

“It’s just- it’s dad’s birthday in two days. I want all of us to celebrate it together with him but Dad and her seem weird around each other.” Sarah confessed. “Weird how?” Tommy opened the truck’s door for her. “Their conversations seems very forced and awkward now. But Dad still looks at her like a lost puppy. I caught him looking at her from our kitchen window.” Sarah laughed at how Joel insisted that he was just in a daze. Tommy chuckled, “If Joel hears that, he will be whining non stop about how he’s not.” Tommy buckled his seat belt, “Just do it. The only thing I know for sure is that they would do anything for you.”

================================

Tommy was right. You couldn’t decline Sarah’s invite no matter how much you wanted to. When she showed up at your door, a handmade invite to come for Joel’s birthday. You agreed immediately, not realising the consequences of your actions. You rubbed your face with your hands as you stood in the store, stressing over a gift for Joel. Joel is the person you had fallen for ever since you were young, from a crush to feelings. Then he disappeared for a few years but his presence was always there with you and now you stood in a store stressing over a birthday gift for him after he had snuffed out any hope that he had feelings for you. Even if you were still struggling to come to terms with that fact, you still had to suck it up and celebrate his birthday because you didn’t want to deal with Sarah’s disappointment.

“Are you looking for a gift for your lover?” Lover, you almost scoffed in reply. “No, he’s just a friend.” You told the older lady who had came up to you. She smiled, “Hmm, but he is not quite just a ‘friend’ is he?” You rubbed the back of your neck, were you that obvious, what if you were thinking out loud? You mentally cringed at the last thought. “Pardon me if I am overstepping.” the old woman apologised upon witnessing your silence. “Oh um, you’re sort of right. He’s an old friend but..” You admitted with a sheepish smile. She shook her head in amusement, “I recognise that look. We tend to have the worst dilemma when it comes to picking out presents for the people we love. Simply because we want it to be perfect for them.” She continued, admiring the various items on display. “I’ll give you a tip. I’m sure he’ll appreciate something that shows off more of you.” You gave the old lady a questioning look. She chuckled warmly, “I used to be the same as you, but one day I didn’t know what to get him so I simply wrote a card for him. My old man cried and up till now, he still keeps the letter tucked in his work desk. He says he reads it whenever despite how many times I told him to get rid of it. It’s embarrassing.” The old woman eyes crinkled as she thought of her husband, a look of adoration evident on her faace.

You pursed your lips, deep in thought before a look of realisation dawned upon you.

“Thanks! I think I know what to give him now.” You grinned, bowing a little to her.

The paper stars, you’ll suck everything up and just give it to him.

“We have enough of these trinkets home.” A voice interrupted the conversation you were having with the old woman. She smiled at the man who had came up to him, the very same look of adoration was given back to her despite how he had just complained and you knew immediately that this old man is the same man she had just mentioned. “I was just having a conversation with the lovely lady here.” She clarified. The old man eyes drifted to you to which you gave him a meek wave. His look changed, as though he recognised you. You brushed it off, smiling at the couple before you. “Oh dear, we got to go back. I have to cook dinner tonight.” The old woman reminded as she glanced at the watch on her husband’s wrist.

“Have a nice day.” the man bidded. “I wish you luck. You’re a lovely woman, I’m sure he will notice that soon enough.” The old woman said. You nodded as you waved to the old couple, envying them. Their body language, how they treated each other. You could tell from miles apart how deeply in love they were with each other.

“Darling, did you know who she was?” The old man questioned, the old woman shook her head. “No, she just reminded me of how I looked when I was younger and trying to pick a gift for you.” She admitted with a laugh. The old man stared, trying his best to recall where he had seen you. “Oh!” He exclaimed. Excitement shined in his eyes, “Remember Joel? I think she is the woman he was talking about then, with heart eyes.” The old woman face brightened up too, “Oh, the lady in the picture!” She said, thinking back of when she had questioned the photo he had kept in his wallet. The old man nodded enthusiastically. “Well, I really do hope that she’s referring to him then.” the old woman sighed before retelling the conversation to him. He grinned, “It probably is him. His birthday is tomorrow.” The old woman smiled, “I hope everything goes well.” The old man nodded, thinking back on the boy who had came up to him and pleaded for a job back then. “I wonder how he’s doing. He was of great help. A quick learner and a great man. I think he helped attract a few more customers with his looks too.” The man laughed which earned a slap from the woman. “We ought to have him over for dinner someday.” The man nodded in agreement. “Maybe he’ll bring her along too.” She giggled

==================================

“Happy birthday Joel.” the words repeated in your mind. A constant reminder in case you panic and end up a stumbling mess in front of him when he opens the door. You were late, you tried your best but it just had to be today that you had difficulty getting away from work. The door swung open and you blurted the word ‘happy’ before Sarah’s face greeted you instead. “Dad’s late.” she told you, disappointment evident in her voice.

You walked in, pressing on your phone. “I’ll pester Tommy.”

Tommy picked up, “Hey,Thought you were Sarah.” He greeted. “Are you with Joel?” “Mhm yeah, man would not get out of his office. I tried multiple times but he’s stubborn.” Tommy complained from the safety of his own office. “What is he doing?” You questioned. “We got a big customer recently, its a make or break one. Joel is giving it his best plus he has been pretty focused on work these past weeks too.” Tommy said. You sighed, “I bet he forgot that it was his birthday.” He always did, he was never one for birthdays. Tommy stretched from his seat, “Yeah. How’s Sarah? It’s pretty late.” Tommy glanced at the clock. “Disappointed, I was late too.” You told him. He sighed, “I’m trying my best.” You nodded, reassuring tommy before hanging up.

“He’s swamped with work isn’t he?” Sarah asked, you sighed, noticing the disappointed look on her face. “Yeah. Are you tired?” you sat down next to her as she flipped through the channels on the TV. “Kinda. But I’m fine.” “Sleep first then. I’ll wake you up when he’s back.” You suggested. “No, I’ll last.” She insisted, her eyes fell to the box beside her. “That’s the watch?” You asked excitedly, trying to avert her thoughts away from the disappointment. She handed it to you, “Do you think he’ll like it?” You smiled looking at it. It was a pretty ordinary watch except for the green strap. The green that reminded you of Joel. “Maybe he will actually start being on time for things now.” Sarah laughed. “You have a good eye.” You complimented, gently placing the box back onto the table. Sarah groaned as she stared at the clock again, you listened to her complain about Joel but you know that despite her complaining, she knows deep down that Joel was doing this all for her. “What did you get for him?” She asked. You handed her the large jar of paper stars you had brought him. “Paper stars?” She questioned. “Yeah, it’s stupid I know.” She grinned, “No I didn’t mean it that way. Just asking if there is a hidden meaning.” She asked,. You stared at Sarah, only just realising that she had the same brown eyes he had. “Hmm, it’s a stupid meaning too.” She stopped boucning around, stared at you and gave you her fullest attention.

“I liked him when I was younger but I thought it was a crush. I figured that everytime he did something that made my heart flutter I’ll fold a paper star for him. When one day it fills up, I’ll confess. If it doesn’t then it would just be a crush.” You simply explained. Her eyes lit up. “You like Dad!” She exclaimed in excitement. You blushed, you couldn’t bring yourself to deny it. “But you never told him?” She questioned, admiring the paper stars that you had so pain painstakingly folded. “I moved away before I could.” You told her, deciding to leave out the part that he had also just gotten together with her mother.

“So are you going to confess to him today?” Sarah asked, “Cause I would definitely accept if I was him.” She added on. You shook your head, “It will just ruin his birthday and my day.” Sarah frowned, “Your dad, he-he doesn’t see me that way. Never did it seems like.” Sarah hugged you, catching you off guard. “I honestly doubt that.” She muttered. You smiled, her hug was consoling you. You hoped that she was right too.

==================================

Sarah was lying on your lap fast asleep. Your legs were becoming numb but you still stayed still. The sound of keys made you quickly nudge Sarah awake. “I think he’s back.” You muttered. She rubbed her eyes groggily before she processed what you told her. Sarah sat up, you could tell that it was taking all her control not to open the door for him. The moment Joel;s figure peeked out from the door, Sarah tackled her father. You heard Joel chuckled heartily.

“Happy birthday Dad!” She exclaimed, long forgotten that she was disappointed a few hours ago when she realised Joel was late. “Can’t join in. Only managed to get him home by doing the remaining work for him. Enjoy.” Tommy messaged. You typed out a quick reply before looking back at the door. Joel had picked Sarah up, you quickly helped him with the door as he placed his suitcase by the wall and removed his shoes. Sarah’s excited words and Joel’s calming voice fading into the background as your heart pounded in your chest. Why were you nervous?

“Hey.” He smiled to you, you nodded meekly. Even in the dark, his smile seemed to glow, it seemed brighter than usual today. “You guys were just sitting in the dark?” He laughed, using one hand to flick the lights on. “How else were we supposed to surprise you? Plus it saves us electricity.”

You didn’t miss how the smile on Joel’s face falter. He didn’t want Sarah to worry about the bills at home. “Happy birthday Joel.” He grinned at you, his eyes becoming small as he smiled so widely as he put Sarah down. “Sit down!” Sarah led him to the couch. He placed his arm over the cushion and directly behind you. You stiffened slightly at the contact. He casted a worried glance towards you, cautious to not overstep boundaries but you leaned back anyways. Your body slowly relaxing in his touch. Sarah thrusted the box to Joel, his gaze narrowed at her. “What’s this?” “Just open it” you laughed.

Joel eyes widened at the sight of the watch. “Well you keep complaining about your watch.” Sarah started, eyeing Joel carefully for his reaction. Joel plucked the watch out from its box delicately and put it on. A proud grin spread across his features as he stared at the watch, it suited him well. “You like it?” Joel hummed. “Honey, it’s nice but-“ “What?” The panic in Sarah’s voice was evident. You looked at the watch, resisting the urge to roll your eyes at Joel. He glanced at you with a mischievous look. He tapped on the watch, “I think it’s stuck.” Sarah grabbed his arm over, glancing at the watch. “No, no.” She rolled her eyes at Joel’s antics “oh haha.” She replied sarcastically, shoving Joel’s hand away. “You’re so annoying.” You remarked. He simply laughed. “Where did you even get the money for this?” “Drugs. I sell cold hard drugs.” Sarah laughed, snuggling to your side. Joel admired the watch further. “Great. You can start helping out on the mortgage then.”

You gently sat up, “Where are you going?” Sarah asked. “I’ll take a picture of the both of you.” You smiled. It was simple, no cake, not even dinner. Joel probably loved this, a tiny feeling made you feel like you were interrupting a private moment. “No. You haven’t even gave Dad your gift.” Joel raised his eyebrows in surprise, you wanted to scoff at his response. Sure you were a bad giver but he expected nothing? You pursed your lips, your jar of paper stars felt silly after a watch. It was as though your gifts had been swapped.

“This is stupid but here.” Joel looked confused by the jar of paper stars. Then it occured to him that it was the same jar from that day when you chased him out of your house. The very same that he fumbled with. “It’s not stupid.” Sarah defended, she wished you had more confidence in yourself. “So that was what-“ “No, kinda. Long story.” You clarified. “I ruined your surprise didn’t I?” Joel asked, his eyes boring into yours. “No. It’s just-“ you wished you had a way with words. Joel would have made a teasing remark about how you should have kept the surprise better but he was smart enough to realize maybe now was not the time.

A silence fell between you two. A silence that made everyone uncomfortable. Sarah was panicking inside. “What would uncle Tommy do?” She wondered in her head, only he will be able to break the ice. “Let’s take the picture.” She suggested instead. “I’ll take it.” You offered but Sarah dragged you down. “Join the photo.” Joel suggested. You looked at Sarah who nodded enthusiastically.

Sarah sat on Joel’s left after hitting the timer while you were on his right. His arm was behind you while he pulled Sarah tighter. His hand hung over Sarah’s shoulder, the watch she had bought him in full display. The jar of paper stars were balanced between your lap and his. Sarah posed with a peace sign and Joel pulled you closer, earning a grin from you.

The photo soon joined the frames of photos that was decorated around Joel’s house.

============================

The paper stars now stood on Joel’s nightstand. He had glanced at it, wondering what was the significance behind the paper stars. You were never one to buy just random gifts, plus you had it for months. There was definitely some kind of sentimental value. He sat down on the bed and pried off the lid. Staring and gently shaking the jar as he watched the stars move around. There must be a memory, maybe from childhood? He cursed his ageing memory.

He flicked on the lamp on his nightstand. His arm accidentally brushing the lid off to the floor. He sighed, picking the lid up. His eyes widened in surprise. There was a letter on the floor, he stared back at the lid. It had been taped onto the underside of the lid before.

He leaned against his pillow, staring at the letter that was titled to him. He admired the handwriting of his name, wondering when you had written this.

“Dear Joel, you’ll never read this but-“

Joel’s eyes drifted close before he even finished the sentence. Exhaustion catching up with him.

#joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x reader #tlou #joel miller tlou #tlou x reader #joel miller #joel tlou #joel miller x f!reader #pedro pascal x reader #the last of us #joel miller angst #joel #joel miller fluff #joel the last of us

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lastplayerstanding · 6 months

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My guesses for the 9 cast members

Rachel: has done snake in the grass/traitors very recently, seems to want to be on TV rn. Has campaigned for a short "winners only" season before iirc

Josh/Kaycee: Both were set to appear on BB22 but got COVID, both also seem to be taking breaks from the challenge so a short season might appeal to them

Vanessa: a girl can dream alright

Jesse: Let's be real, CBS loves him I can see him appearing somewhere even if it's not on the cast

Cameron: just won afp, this shows seems to be more focused on the comps so I feel that they will want him

Michael: also bc of his comp wins

Kat (bb21): a bit random and not really a legend but I'm trying to think of people who are available and would possibly say yes. I also considered Christy/Tommy from this season. I figured there has to be a least one odd ball pick of the group

Day: Absolutely a bb legend

Honorary mentions: Christmas- I feel like she would get invited just bc of her name

Corey bb18, I really hope that he is one it bc I know he would love it

I avoided people from bb23 since DX and Tiff are hosting apparently and I think that would be too many cast members from that season. I also had more girls than guys since the shorter seasons tend to cast more girls when it's an odd number. I also avoided going too far back despite Jordan being a host though I would love for some old school legends. I can picture Janelle on this but I think she's filming traitors rn

#Bb25 #Big brother #Big brother reindeer games

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sunnydice · 13 days

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🪦 and/or 💥 and/or ♟️ for ask game ^-^

🪦 - are certain characters functionally dead?

i'm not too sure whag this means or how to answer i fear OTL so sorrey. i think all characters are have an opportunity to impact things especially because of the limboisms + ghosts. i guess maybe alyssa? especially cuz her bigger tethers like callahan also aren't around much so theres less opportunity for her legacy/memory to be carried. wait speaking of ghosts where are cvik n clazar's ghosts. hope there's not an evil asshole who would purposely keep them from leaving frm smwhere to make sure they don't tell anyone what he did to them. lol. lmao. l

💥 - should c!niki apologize to c!clingyduo?

i mean i think so? cniki did super scapegoat and try to kill ctommy in a slash srs way and as interesting and well written as it was that's still naottttt. v cool. and uhh. also she helped release cdrm from prison. i donnie think she's irredeemable at all and i don't think she had to grovel but. zero concern abt the fact she's directly assisting a group of overpowered assholes in releasing sm shithead abuser who ruined HER AND ALL HER FRIENDS LIVES so he can run around and do it again is pretty crazy. imo. to be clear ☝️‼️ ilove cniki i absolutely do but like. cmon.

♟️ - was c!wilbur a dictator for trying to rig the vote?

oiuwhUWGH I'VE BEEN WAITING TO BE ANNOYING ABT THIS. HELLO. OK.

to start, no, i don't think he's a dictator for it at all 👍 i think dictator is a pretty specific thing that people LOVEEE to throw around incorrectly in dsmp discussion. BUT, while he may not be not a dictator, he IS a MASSIVE LOSER 🗣‼️

my hot take abt it is that uhh. i think people tend to have an incredibly reductive view abt cwilbur. specifically in wilburian circles which i've complained abt lots before but. idk the strange incentive to sand down all the shit that makes him interesting or deeper to form this bland, more easily palatable/defendable mush of a character makes me insane in my head.

the reason i bring this up here (and how it relates to my point/the prompt) is: acting like ctommy was solely and selflessly cwilburs only motivation for making lmanberg is. imo. a retcon. if i am to be honest w you. because it's Not Textually True.

like yes, he does deeply, deeply love tommy, that's undeniable. yes, he clearly built it w him squarely in mind but it was also for everyone! lmanberg was a family! his literal actually son lived there. they all loved eachother, they wanted a place for themselves. and it was Also for power and Also sticking it to the man!! (And completely justified to be clear!! he was being smarmy abt it, of course but thts not a bad thing!! he was 100000% right.). not to even mention the cphil letters and what that entails. and to act like it can only be the one that makes him look "the best" is. annoying.

compare to ceret. if we act like ohhh poor baby eret was just manipulated into betraying lmanberg and that's the end of it no need to dig deeper. man shut UP. IT'S LAME. things can be complex! she was manipulated, textually, of course she was, but she was also selfish! she betrayed the people she loved most, and she wanted the crown, the kingship, he wanted power. and of course, you can't ignore that in a server where power is one of the only ways to achieve security, for both himself and her friends, it makes total sense tht she would go for it! it can be multiple things.

another example i'll use is uhh election era q to narrow it down. during the election arc, he super wanted to help people!! he was earnestly pitching that they wouldn't need an iron fist bcs they could just all learn to be niceys to eachother. he really took what ppl said to heart and wanted to make lmanberg the best it could be, away from someone who he thought would abuse his position and WAS abusing his position. and he was also a HUGE TOXICA CUNT. he stabbed people and shot them and was a huge bully, and more often that not was encouraging and participating w cschlatt's more assholey actions when he also. an asshole. because they both are. 😭 q wanted power. again, power = security in the dsmp. so you can rlly understand his throughline. while also going hey, shooting people with horse tranquilizer is also super his own stupid evil little choice. things can overlap.

so to the ctommy is cwilbs only priority there line. if it's all for him. if he secures the country at the expense of two of his little brothers lives.

for the lack of better term, why does he leave it up for grabs for his ego.

there's no power to secure at that point. they won. there's no thing he needs to overcome right now, there's no current threat. (to be clear cdrm is always a threat but at the time no one is really aware how far he's willing to go and the seeds he's planting) and again, i understand that he was paranoid, and wanted validation, but point blank canon this is a fully lucid bad decision.

and even then, if you wanna say ohh well maybe he didn't realize smone could stop him maybe he never realized smone would intervene. that's still. annoying and bad. 😭. to not even give the people the chance? i don't think it's irredeemable At All but it's purpose in the narrative is undoubtedly short sighted and selfish.

even Then, he had another chance to bag it smhow. and he fumbled that too!

(pretty good breakdown of what i will be adressing can be found here, w timestamps -> https://www.tumblr.com/stellocchia/661878977008467969/stellocchia-thespoonisvictory-s1-elections)

in the convo, cwilb offered cq the opportunity to do a coalition w him. his offer is they pool their votes together and whoever gets the most votes in between them is allowed to keep the whole country.

cq calls him out, rightfully, and goes hey man. you can act like you think i have a fair shot all you want but you are out of your dome if you think people will somehow vote for me more than they'll vote for you.

cq even tries to compromise when wil falters, and say why dont we split power and run it together. and wilbur tells him NO‼️ even if you believe that cwilbur believe that cq loves lmanberg, which i do, and even if you believe it when he says that he would be ok w it in q's hands, which i don't considering he refuses to meet him in the middle, q Does calls him out for him. he says yr just using me. this is a scam.

and ctommy and cwilb reply 'YEAH IT IS ^__^" like man cmonnnneudhdjk. and that's what makes cq join cschlatt!

so to cut myself off, no. he's not a dictator mm mm, just short sighted and selfish and unwilling to compromise. 👍 unrelatedly does anyone else think it's crazy that in the canonical pogtopia wins au wilbur was gnna jail schlatt after he lost over "commiting voter fraud" (despite cwilb trying and failing to do that as well) and was just leave him there. like. he was also gnna make cq build a second layer of the lmanberg walls and cq was going to leave a secret tunnel in it on schlatts behalf. huh. what. anyone else think that's crazy.

#TYSM FR the question delilah smile this was really fun to formulate #askatraz #quackitytheduck #ask games #cwilbur crit #<- LIKE I GUESS.

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because-its-eurovision · 6 months

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Congrats on 10 000 posts! 🎊 To celebrate, I have a question for you (sorry if you've already answered this): I was just wondering earlier today (while reading the Viisukuppila bulletin board out of boredom), based on the "clues" we have been given of next year's UMK contestants so far, do you happen to have any theories, hopes or sophisticated guesses on who might be participating? 👀

Thank you darling! ❤ My weak spot is that I don't really follow Finnish music scene and only have a vague idea which artists are popular 😅 But let's see what others have to say!

1. A talented artist’s first 90s-style dance song

The Finnish clue specifies that this is the debute song of the artist in question. Reminds me of Keira last year (success in The Voice of Finland and now releasing their first single). Timmy Tattari reached 3rd place in this year's TVoF and has a record deal with Capitol Finland (same as Keira) but hasn't released anything yet. He follows UMK, Cornelia Jakobs and Monika Linkyté on IG but that doesn't prove anything other that he watches Esc. Another candidate is Olga Heikkala, a singer and an actress who announced this month that she's leaving the soap opera Salatut Elämät after five years. No apparent UMK connections or label afaik, but is friends with KUUMAA boys and has performed on their music video.

2. A power song by a true vocal talent

Finnish fans are speculating about Diandra every year, but I have my doubts. Someone suggested Neea River, who rose to Tiktok fame covering Celine Dion. She is Warner’s artist, co-wrote a song for Blanka (Poland 2023), is friends with Benjamin and IG mutuals with Käärijä & Jesse.

3. Perhaps the best song of an indie favourite’s career

Stoned Statues just released their second album. Music magazine Soundi called them “the most promising young rock band of the moment” and Helsingin Sanomat “the new hope of Finnish heavy metal”. They had three Emma nominations and were awarded “upcoming artist of the year” in Indie Awards 2023. I also saw suggestions for Maustetytöt, but are they still considered indie?

4. Two big name performers doing a surprising duo with a serious refrain

The Finnish version of this hint suggests the refrain being “hard”, meaning catchy. Now we only have to find out which artists are considered “big names” 🙃 Abreu & Pihlaja did release a single together in August, although it must be mentioned that Abreu has previously stated that she’s not interested in Eurovision (although people can change their mind like Robin did). Fans are suggesting Sexmane, Isac Elliot and Costee to be the other half of the duo. I just hope we’re not getting the senior department who have no actual chance or desire to compete in Eurovision, like Danny/Tommi Läntinen 💀 Perhaps this is another Pandora & Teflon Brothers situation.

5. A thunderous rock anthem by a world-touring band

I saw rumours considering The 69 Eyes, but-- god please no. Their heydays are over. My own suggestion was Lost Society who could be the Blind Channel of this year. Shiraz Lane is also a possibility and they are from Ranka Kustannus as BC and Cyan Kicks were.

6. A seriously intense song from one of the most listened-to artists in Finland

The streets (X/Twitter) are saying that BESS is back and I wouldn’t mind it at all! Other suggestions are Gettomasa & Sexmane, the latter of which already had his brother Isaac Sene competing in UMK 2022. “Intense” can mean anything though. One possibility could be Bee who just released her first album and was selected as “breakthrough of the year” by YleX. Jodel rumours suggested Evelina, but I have no idea how reliable that is.

7. A hard-hitting club banger by a well-known artist making a comeback

Jenni Vartiainen just returned from a five-year hiatus, moved back to Finland and published a new single. I doubt she’d participate in UMK as a contestant though since she is one of the most successful Finnish female artists of all time and could easily sell out an arena. Perhaps she’ll be the host this year and in return gets to perform the interval number like Antti Tuisku, Paula Vesala & Samu Haber? I'm leaning more towards Tuuli, who was kind of a teen pop star and is now making a comeback with new label and new style of music. One of the nominees for YleX's breakthrough of the year, released her newest album in August.

Bubbling under: At Tapiola Festivaali Käärijä asked the audience how many of us voted for him in UMK, and said “the rest of you voted for Kuumaa and Portion Boys, right?? next year you’ll get Arttu Wiskari and that’s exactly what you deserve” 😌

#I used hours for this research and it was super fun!#asks #umk #uuden musiikin kilpailu #2024

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leopardom · 1 year

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Hi! Can I ask you about some facts about the BC iceberg? I’ve been in the fandom since ESC and I don’t remember somes :)

The cage

Joel winning a tatto contest

Tommi eating mustard for a bet

Olli following weed accounts

Ronnie radke

Joel/archie beef

Sokea kanava

8 years

Marry me drama

ALRIGHT here we go

the cage: remember this cage from when they were shooting the original mv for bad idea?

well the majority of the fandom had thought we’d see this in the mv. and then we didn’t 🤠

Joel winning a tattoo contest: about a year (and more?) ago, an influencer on instagram was running a contest on her stories. the contest had to do with heavily tattooed guys of her choice and her followers had to vote for who they preferred. Joel made it to the last two and he won the “contest” and apparently some jewellery and a shit (i can’t remember)

Tommi eating mustard for a bet: there’s an old instagram story Joonas had posted from when BC were supporting Amaranthe (early 2020). caption says that Tommi had to eat 200g of mustard for a good amount of money 🥲

Olli following weed accounts: well that’s not very known in general but at some point a friend of mine was going through Olli’s following list on instagram to see if he’s following meme accounts and stuff. and she found out he was following at least 2 🌱 accounts lmao. anyway iirc she had tweeted that but only a few people remember it

Ronnie Radke: okay BC have said they like Falling In Reverse. but then we have Joel occasionally praising them and especially their frontman, who is known to be transphobic, rude towards fans, accused for domestic abuse and well, if you wanna see more you can check his twitter. to make matters worse for him, Joel once posted a story hinting that he’s separating the art from the artist, which is not very welcomed by a fanbase that consists of queer people who have seen Radke’s rage fits online

Joel/Archie beef: i think it was after esc 2021 when Archie Cruz said that BC is shit or something like that and as you can guess some people *looks at Joel’s direction* didn’t let this drop like that. Joel dragged him in a smart way on his ig stories without mentioning names and apparently that beef went on for a while

Sokea Kanava: it basically means Blind Channel in finnish. the drill here has to do with a promo video they shoot for their cover of Can’t Hold Us

8 years: just Joel being Joel on twitter

marry me drama: right after esc 2021 again some fans ran a project. the project was to post stories in which they’d tag Joel writing “marry me? 💍” and they’d either hold a ring or edit the stories with ring stickers. the project was meant to be for fun (?) but since Joel was on a reposting spree at that time, he reposted many of the stories and many fans both on ig and twitter raised an eyebrow at this (i can see why because i did too). thing is that many of the girls in the stories were underage, which made it more cringe than it already was, even if Joel was absolutely not checking what he was reposting

hope i helped you with your questions 🥰

#putting this in the band tag because i saw people in the tags of the iceberg wondering about some things #blind channel #ask #anon

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ashes-writing · 2 years

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burnin for you pt three | stranger things ; g.emerson

A/N ; I told you guys I love this idiot and I have officially kinda adopted his grumpy ass as one of my own damn it, but anyway... and I wanted to write this for him and all that jazz. Welp, here we kinda have me getting a late night idea about 'stupidest' nicknames that reader and Gareth could call each other -and of course, how to give reader at least one friend that's not hellfire / corroded coffin and a girl so she can do her girly shit and not seem so flat or tragic for me while also exploring reader's home issues and such and inserting ANGST, so here we freakin go.

I shit you not, when the idea for their nicknames came I died laughing. If you guys don't like them, oops? I guess just sub in your own chosen nickname? Look, I'm still working on making the switch from writing OC characters to doing x reader so uh.. I'm trying, lol. [ BTW, i'm gonna attempt to revisit or update the ones for Tommy and Billy, I just.. haven't thought of a way to do it yet. ]

Huuuge huge thanks for all the feedback, oh my god, y'all have been making my days so bright with the comments and the tags and the reblogs and the likes bc I dead ass did not think anybody would read anything I put out bc I am gremlin.. You have no idea how much it truly means to me and I thank you so so so so so much, mwah!

- Ashes

Pairing ; Gareth Emerson x sweet!girly!rich reader [ we're officially calling them pastels and plaid. ]

Timeline / Other Stuff to Note ; pt I | pt II pt III part IIII can be found here those can and should be read first, then this one.. first of all. Gareth has been aged up to 18 before anybody says a word. I'm putting that out there now. So there's no question about it. This is set in 86 BUT BUT.. the upside down, vecna and all the other stuff that goes along with is not a part of this, it's more of a slice of life thing. So if you're into that... NO DEATHS EITHER BTW.

Tag List ; @allelitesmut @aries-arcade @hcloangcls @heyaitsklaudia @krys-orion @musichealsscars and @scoobiessnacks are the only ones currently on my taglist. If you’d like to be on my taglist for anything I write, including Stranger Things [ here ] add yourself there.

Warnings ; Chrissy -and readers, not so great home lives and her relationship with jason are discussed here so there are some not so nice things (ie, her ED is hinted at here but not really discussed, Jason is an asshole, her mother is verbally abusive and readers parents are just plain neglectful killjoy types who alternate between never being around and purposely taking away things that make reader happy if she's not 'good enough' at them) so before I go any further, that's mentioned heavily in the beginning. It's not that graphic but it is there. Mentions of the devils lettuce + the boys doing a smoking circle after jamming in Jeff's garage, lots of internal pining and the angst that goes with it, use of nicknames/petnames (bunny and meatball, my mind at 2 am, babes i s2g) and that's it.

Other Stuff ; tag list doc || my rules - fandoms and some characters I write for || - send me things.

I do not consent to my work being reposted elsewhere or copied/reworked/rewritten and reposted here or elsewhere. You don't own this, I do. So like... don't steal my shit.

You couldn’t sleep. The house was too quiet and your mind was way too noisy. There’s a park just down the street that you’ve been going out to the swingsets to sit on nights like this. It’s normally empty because this is the gated neighborhood and most of the people in it are usually asleep, so as you make your way down dimly lit streets towards the park, you’re surprised to learn that’s not the case tonight.

Chrissy Cunningham is sitting on the jungle gym, Leaned back with all her weight on her palms, her head tilted back as she gazes at the sky. Remembering she’s one of them, you’re about to turn and make your way back up the street but she spots you and jogs over.

“Wait. Don’t go… Please?”

You eye her warily, a hand on your hip. You start to turn and just walk away anyway because looking at her only brings back the way Brook, the queen bee at your old school confronted you in front of everyone at your old school to tear you down and humiliate you and ruin everything, but you happen to see the red in Chrissy’s eyes.

You try to tell yourself she’s probably high, everybody in your old clique at the boarding school you were in before life -and shitty, neglectful parents, landed you in Hawkins in the big lonely house on the end of the street. But something about that thought doesn’t fit. Then you remember hearing her mother shouting earlier, halfway up the block.

What’s more is you heard her over your father’s true pride and joy, a top dollar home theater system. That wasn’t on low volume by any means because you were trying to drive out the tomb-like silence.

You rub the bridge of your nose and it’s what she says next that sways you into sticking around. “Please don’t go. I…I won’t annoy you and this isn’t a trick, okay? I just... I want someone to talk to right now. Please?”

You take a deep breath. “Fine.” you finally respond. The two of you make your way back over to the jungle gym she’d previously been sitting on and for about ten minutes, you’re both just sitting in complete silence.

“The freaks..” Chrissy starts and you cut her off. “They’re not freaks.” you assert calmly, giving her a warning look. “They’re my friends. I think they are, I dunno...” you go quiet and your words trail off as you look down at the manicure you’d given yourself that afternoon while watching General Hospital and babysitting the two youngest Sinclair girls. You’d done the two girls nails to match, of course.

“Sorry, it’s just…” Chrissy swallows hard, swinging bare feet around, her feet making a soft thud when the heels of them met the wood plank behind them. “That’s what everyone around here calls them. It’s a bad habit and I hate it.”

“Then don’t do it. Y’know, you do have the power to change things.” you say it with a quiet laugh and you immediately apologize. “Don’t take my advice. Trust me.” you add a few seconds later. “Because I tried to change things at the boarding school I was at before… Only ended with me getting fucked over.”

Chrissy cringes and looks at you in concern, but closer up, you’re thinking to yourself that if anyone needs a concerned look right now, it’s her. You start to ask her if she’s eaten because everything about the way her face just looks so damn tired makes you think about Elaine from your old school. Before you can stop yourself and remind yourself that Chrissy is one of them and they’re not to be trusted under any circumstance, you’ve asked the question. “Are you okay?”

“The whole neighborhood heard it.” Chrissy mumbles softly. “I thought just this once she’d be proud of me,y’know?” she’s wiping at her eyes and you tense a little because all you wanted to do when you left your house was come down and sit in silence to look up at the stars.

Try to quiet your own noisy mind and all the doubts and fears in it for just a little while. Try to stop yourself from calling Gareth at fuck all o’clock because he’s the only one you sort of trust and you just needed to hear his voice because you’re determined not to give anybody - a friend, your parents, a boy, that much of a hold on you again.

Instead of admitting that you heard it because that feels like the wrong thing to do somehow, you shrug. “I was watching some stupid show.” you mumble quietly. It’s not a complete lie, you were watching tv when it happened. You just omit the fact that you heard her mother lashing out at both her and her father over the volume level of said television show.

She looks a little relieved that maybe one person didn’t hear her mother lashing out. You manage a weak smile and repeat your earlier question because to an extent, she hasn’t fully answered it. She looks down at her bare feet and shakes her head. “I hate being me.”

And you feel that in your bones. But you don’t say anything. She laughs and it’s a quiet and almost bitter sound. “I mean, perfect boyfriend, perfect grades, perfect body… You’d think I’d be happy…Right?” she shakes her head and mutters a quiet, “Forget it.”

“No,no.” you reach out for her wrist when she goes to leave. “Finish what you were going to say. It’s not like I’m gonna sleep tonight anyway.” with a mild shrug.

“Your parents too?” she asks and the question is almost hopefully phrased as she searches your eyes. You bite your lip and shrug. “Lack thereof, actually. They won’t be back from their little business trip until December, if they even come back. According to my father, they’re in talks to merge with some other entertainment business and go in together to open some nightclub or something. They could be gone a year or something, I really don't know..” you laugh quietly.

“Wasn’t your father talking to the mayor about re-visiting the whole idea to buy out the mall?”

“Yeah, he was. Then he got this offer and decided to go with it. Mayor Kline didn’t want to negotiate, something about the current owners of the mall had a better idea.” you shrug, rolling your eyes.

“So you’re there alone?”

“There’s a cleaning lady that comes in twice a week. It’s not like it’s a big deal.” you shrug it off. It is a big deal but you’re so used to the endless parade of service people in and out and the absence of your actual parents that now you just get numb because there’s no hope left.

“We weren’t talking about me, Chrissy.” you mumble after the silence gets just a little too thick. She sighs. “I hate him. I hate him and I hate my mother. But I still love her and I want her to be proud of me just once so I do everything I can…”

You gaze at her and nod. “Listen, this is your life. Fuck them.”

She manages a nervous smile. Twists a strand of strawberry blonde around her finger. “I wish it were that easy.”

“This is gonna sound selfish but trust me.. Or don’t, whatever.” you’re swinging your feet as you look up at the moon and stars overhead. After a second or two to pause and think about how best to word it, you decide to just say it. “Has that idiot Jason Carver ever done anything good or helpful for you?” you gaze at her.

“Well, no but–”

You shake your head. “No buts. Him ‘making you popular’ or whatever bullshit you were about to say is not important, it doesn’t count.” you laugh quietly. The more you sit and talk to her on the jungle gym in the middle of the night, the more you’re confronted with just how much alike you both are.

You don’t like that, it doesn’t sit well.

This in turn, leads you to sort of think that maybe it’s time you follow the advice you’re giving her. Or try harder to.

“Okay, what about your mother? When’s the last time she actually gave a shit?”

Chrissy’s mouth opens and closes and she’s in deep thought. You shrug mildly. “Do what makes you happy. To hell with your mother definitely, Hawkins High student body and especially that piece of shit Jason Carver.”

“Why are you telling me this? I..” she trails off, laughing softly. “I thought you hated us.”

No sense in deluding the poor girl, you respond quietly, “Most of you, yeah. I wouldn’t spare a drop of pee if most of you were on fire..” you gaze at her thoughtfully. “Maybe you’re different. Maybe it’s not too late for you.” and as you say this, you focus all your energy into it because if it’s not too late for her this means it’s not too late for you.

She manages a weak smile. “Maybe.”

“What does make you happy, hm?”

Chrissy giggles quietly. “There’s this boy.” she starts and instantly, you get the feeling you might possibly not want to hear the rest because if it all centers around a boy -because right now, god that sounds just way too close to home and you’re definitely not in the state of mind to deal with that just yet, it’s probably gonna be an awful disaster for her.

“No, I meant like.. Hobbies?” you clarify what you meant.

“Cheerleading. That really does make me happy. It’s the only thing that keeps me hanging on.”

Like your ballet. That your parents took you out of to put you in boarding school so they could jet around god knows where and do anything but be parents. Your mother claims to this day that she was doing it for your own good because you weren’t good enough and she was saving you from pain later, but you honestly didn’t care if you were any good or not, you just loved to dance. You loved the structure and the discipline because it was something nobody gave a shit about you enough to give to you at home.

Besides the one nanny you had when you were 10, the only one who acted like a goddamn parent and didn’t treat you like you were just some kind of little prop when needed. But they took her too because your father said attachments were something that would make you weak.

You nod and you smile a little. Before you stop yourself with the reminder that again, she is one of them and therefore, not to be trusted even a little, you mumble quietly, “Ballet.” and you give a shrug. “I was in classes but my mother decided I wasn’t doing well enough at it to warrant going anymore.”

Chrissy swallows hard and she doesn’t say anything for a few seconds. You mumble an apology because there you go again, making it awkward. “Sorry, I… That should’ve stayed in my head.”

“No, no.. It’s fine. I don’t mind.”

And she doesn’t.

Something she’s thinking about makes her smile just a little and you bite your lip, looking at her. “Okay, out with it. What’s his name?” you decide that maybe it's safer to stick to boys or whatever else you can both think of because this conversation is getting just a shade too heavy right now for you but you want to talk to her, you need to talk to someone.

“Eddie Munson.” Chrissy answers in an almost dreamy and shy tone as she laughs softly. "It feels so good to just say it."

You gape for a second and then you laugh quietly. “Wow. I..” you shake your head, dragging your hand through damp hair, “I was not expecting that.”

“You can’t say anything, alright? Please?” she begs.

You’d never say a word, one, because you dunno if she’s trustworthy or not just yet and two, you know how that feels. To trust somebody with something and then they take it and use it against you somehow, make a total mess of everything.

You rub your forehead.

This entire conversation has been one eye-opener after another.

Some necessary and some, like Chrissy’s confession about having a crush on Eddie Munson, totally shocking. But you feel a little lighter somehow. You come away with the desire to stop letting life run over you repeatedly. To stand up for yourself more. With everyone. To stop giving a shit about anyone who doesn’t give a shit about you.

“I won’t.” you manage a smile and hold up your pinkie despite it being the height of childish. She links her pinkie through and you both laugh quietly.

“Y’know..” you’re not even sure why you’re suggesting it, maybe it’s to save her from Jason Carver turning into a worse man later in life and her being trapped, maybe it’s just for shits and giggles because you cannot, for the life of you picture Eddie, an actual golden retriever idiot, - the thought comes with all the friendly affection you can muster, of course, with her.

“Yeah?”

“Eddie’s a way better person than Jason. Jason’s only going to get worse.”

Chrissy nods. The look in her eyes tells you that this isn’t something she hasn’t thought about a thousand times already. You shrug and lean back against the metal pull bar beside the top of the slide behind you so that you’re actually facing her completely. You laugh a little. “I need to take some of my own advice.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.. that whole fuck them speech? It was aimed at me too.” you admit, going quiet to stare down at the cracks in the wood beneath you. Chrissy laughs softly. “So do it.”

“You first.” you deadpan, sticking out your tongue.

“Okay, what if we both do it?”

“Do you think they’d be able to handle both of us just lighting a match and watching everything and everyone who didn't care enough and we no longer care about burn though?” you ask quietly, kicking your feet again as you admit in a quiet whisper, “Because I’ve got so much anger sometimes I can’t sleep.”

“I know what you mean. Mine isn’t… It’s more pain than anger.”

“Pain turns into anger, you know that, right? But the whole numb thing, that comes first most of the time. Or that’s how it worked for me.”

“Yeah.”

Both of you go quiet again and then she looks at you. “What’s it like?”

“Hm?” you glance up at her.

“Dating Gareth Emerson?”

You laugh softly.

“We’re..” you trail off and lean your head back against the wooden post. “He’s just my friend.”

“But you wish there was more going on… Right?”

You shrug. “A little yes, a little bit I’m too scared to even think about it. I’m a fucking mess, okay? Just like.. Trust me.”

“You don’t seem that bad.”

“Thank you.” you mumble.

“Why don’t you just tell him?” Chrissy is poking the bear because she doesn’t understand why you wouldn’t just tell him. She always sees you two around school. And everybody thinks you’re dating him, especially after the brawl that happened a week or two back between him and Mason Allen. A brawl that Mason Allen hasn’t quite gotten over just yet. The thought reminds her that she was going to warn you to warn Gareth and his friends to watch their backs, so she butts in to say so.

“Hey, you might want to warn Gareth.. And his friends. Mason’s furious because Gareth kicked his butt.”

“Oh he is, huh?” you muse, glancing at her. “Is he planning something?”

“Just says that when he catches him alone, he’s going to get him back.”

You scoff. “Yeah, like hell that’s going to happen. I won’t let it.” you assert.

But really, can you stop it? You weren’t brave enough to stand up for yourself thus creating the mess in the first place. Even as the thought hits you, you know that you’re at least going to try. Whatever it takes. Because you’re not going to let Gareth get dragged into something you should’ve been brave enough to handle on your own.

“I’ll warn him later.” you mumble to yourself. Chrissy circles back to her original question, asking again why you don’t just tell Gareth how you feel. You laugh softly. “You first, sweets. I happen to know Munson would be fuckin thrilled. He’s always watching you.” you give her a slightly warmer grin as you say it.

Chrissy nods and takes a deep breath or two. “It’s not that easy.”

“My point exactly.”

“I thought you were dating Gareth, I mean.. He calls you bunny. And you’re always with him. You’re both always kind of touching each other?” Chrissy points out quietly. You laugh again. “I have not the first clue where Gareth came up with that nickname. I just told him he could call me literally anything but my name because I hate it so much and then he started calling me bunny.” you shrug, laughing again. “Knowing him, it probably has to do with me eating vegetables and fruit. Something off the wall like that.”

“What do you call him?” Chrissy giggles as she asks the question, smiling at you all soft and serene.

“Never to his face and this doesn’t leave us, got it?” you look at her and take a deep breath before bursting into laughter. “Pretty boy. I uh.. Had a real interesting dream a few nights ago when I got a little crazy and raided my mom’s wine and I’m pretty sure I called him daddy a thousand times during that.. But seriously,” you’re staring at your pale pink toenails as you swing your feet back and forth, “I call him meatball most of the time. Because he’s stronger than he looks, meatballs are kind of a comfort food for me and like… I dunno where I was going with that. I called him tiger once and his face went so fucking red, it was the cutest thing…” you double over, laughing at your sap and stupidity.

You cringe a little. “That was way too much information.”

“No, it’s okay. This is nice. Can we?” she fidgets with the sleeve of her sweater while looking down, “Can we do this again sometime? Can I talk to you and stuff at school?”

You laugh and shrug. You don’t expect her to follow through on the talking at school thing, not even slightly, but you smile and nod. “Yeah. Sure. Why not?” you mumble, wondering to yourself the whole time if you’re going to regret it in the long run.

Something tells you maybe this time you won’t.

You haven’t regretted a single second since you made the decision not to get sucked right back in with the type of people you used to be friends with and be like, to an extent.

Chrissy grins brightly at you. You manage a slightly smaller bright grin. “Hey, if you ever need somewhere to go, I’m at the end of the street. The big blue house.” you point out your house to her and she nods. “I’ll probably take you up on that a lot.”

– ( jeff’s garage )

The heavy haze hung in the air and Jeff fanned in front of his face a little as he passes the joint to Grant. Grant took a hit and passes it to Eddie.

Eddie nudges Gareth and Gareth blinks.

“Okay, meatball. Focus, idiot.” Jeff laughs out.

Gareth gives him a dirty look and flips him off. “Fuck off, Jeff.”

“What? I can’t call you that but she can? I thought she wasn’t your girl… Meatball.” Jeff scoots himself away from the circle and lays on the cement slab floor laughing his ass off.

“Of all the nicknames. She picks that one.”Gareth shakes his head, laughing even though sometimes, it is a little annoying. But to be fair, you only started calling him meatball when he started calling you bunny.

And now, it’s become a habit.

“Pretty sure she’ll say the same thing, you call her bunny.” Eddie points it out and this prompts the rest of the little circle to glance at Gareth.

Gareth’s face is on fire and he gives Eddie a death glare. “Dickhole.”

“What? I heard you earlier.” Eddie shrugs.

“Of everything you could call her, man.. Bunny? Seriously?” Jeff questions.

“Why bunny?” Grant asks quietly as he fixes his gaze on Gareth, waiting on an answer.

Gareth laughs and shakes his head, taking a hit of the joint before passing it on to Jeff. He exhales and at first, he tries to just shrug it off without answering.

“You know the rule. Spit it out.” Eddie says it so sternly and with such a shit-eating grin at the same time that they all burst out laughing. “This is the circle, Gare. No secrets.”

“Fuckers.” Gareth grumbles, irritated. “Fine. If any of you says a word, I swear to Ozzy..” he trails off and grins, kicking his sneakers together as he leans back, propping on his hands to gaze up at the ceiling. “It’s that little nose wrinkle, okay? It’s.. It’s so fucking cute and it reminds me of that rabbit my older sister Sarah had. And she’s always kicking her foot against the desk.”

Jeff is laughing harder, so hard that he takes a hit and it nearly doubles him over because he can’t stop laughing and he inhales and nearly chokes himself down on the smoke in the process. “Say what now?” he looks at Gareth.

Gareth shrugs and cringes as he adds in a quieter tone, “And she’s shorter than me, there’s that. Look, she’s small and cute… Like a rabbit. If you assholes say one word, I’m gonna kick your asses, got it?”

“Okay.”

“Fine.”

“Scout’s dishonor.” Eddie taunts, smirking. Gareth leans out to give him a lazy shove. “Especially not you, asshole.” Gareth warns.

“Aw, he really is in love.”

“I’m not, damn it. I’m not.” Gareth insists, glaring at his friends even though he knows it’s a lie deep down. And even though it’s been weeks now and she hasn’t proven his original assumption right yet, he’s still living every single second that he knows you with the worry that eventually, the other shoe is going to drop.

Only now, he’s gone and fucked up, truly. He’s too attached now. So when -not if, because he’s convinced that this is too good to be true and any day now, he’ll wake up and it’ll have been a dream or a figment of his imagination, something, the bad thing does happen, it’s going to crush the guy.

The more he tries to fight it off, the deeper he winds up falling. It’s exciting, it’s terrifying and it’s frustrating as hell, especially lately, with the little nicknames and the way he can’t stop himself from touching you all the damn time.

“Just fucking do something, Gare. If you don’t, it’s going to drive you crazy and you will explode.” Jeff’s outburst has Grant and Eddie nodding in agreement. “The tension’s so fucking thick you’re kind of giving us all blue balls, idiot. Any second now,” Eddie wags his finger at Gareth with a smug look on his face, “You will explode.”

“I will not. It’ll be fine. Look, maybe being her friend is enough, man.”

“Bullshit.” Grant coughs but doesn’t bother covering the word as he does it.

“Yeah, he’s full of shit.” Jeff agrees, laughing as he shakes his head. “You’re full of shit.”

“That’s the biggest load of horse shit.” Eddie exclaims.

“Fuck all of you, alright? Why aren’t we talking about Munson making ga-ga eyes at a certain cheerleader, huh?” Gareth smirks when Eddie flips him off and he moves away from the circle, laughing. “Doesn’t feel so fucking great, does it?” he asks, folding his arms.

“Your situation and mine are totally different, shithead.” Eddie answers, going quiet. “Y’know I can’t tell her anything. She’s one of them.”

“And any day now, my girl could be too, idiot.” Gareth points out quietly.

Jeff shakes his head. “If you were any more stubborn you’d be a goddamn brick wall, Emerson. If she was going anywhere, she’d have done it at least the third or fourth day she was here. No… she’s always with you, with us, dumb fucker. Wake up.”

“I can’t with him, I really just can’t. Says all that and calls her his girl. Makes no sense.” Eddie mumbles, shaking his head too.

“You’re blind and an idiot, Emerson. And I mean that with all the care in the world.” Grant muses, taking a sip of a soda he only just remembers that he’d grabbed from Jeff’s kitchen earlier.

“As I said just a second ago, fuck all of you.” Gareth flips off his friends as he stands. “I’ll see you assholes tomorrow. Gotta get home.”

And as he’s leaving, his friends' opinions just won’t get out of his head. No amount of shoving them down will help, either because he’s starting to realize, even now, that they’re all right. Sooner or later -probably sooner, just being your friend isn’t going to be enough. It’s already starting, truth be told.

But the poor guy has not the first clue what to do to move things one way or another.

#gareth emerson #gareth emerson imagine #gareth emerson fanfiction #gareth emerson fanfic #gareth the great #gareth emerson x reader #gareth emerson x fem!reader #gareth emerson x reader fanfiction #gareth emerson x fem!reader fanfiction #/// read the warnings on the top of the post #// i still fucking cant with myself and the nicknames.#// if you're wondering writer totally was not watching a pam and tommy series tribute vid when it struck.#// no no not i never.

130 notes · View notes

russilton · 6 months

Note

Hi Mark! Absolutely fine if you don't wanna answer because I know you're a big fan - so am I, technically - but you're the first person I felt like going to with this. Again, no need to turn this into discourse, though, if you're not comfortable with the topic. It's about this anon information about Carmen and brands she promotes:

https://www.tumblr.com/wejustvibing/735261797962203136/i-think-tommy-attempting-to-do-something-with

And I was wondering if you know which ones are meant/if you think she is (should) be aware of that? Again, only if you want to comment. This stuff is important to me, so I'll guess I'll look into it too, but I like your straightforward opinions. I don't know how articulate better. Don't feel pressured to answer, however!

Hi anon, first of all I just want to say I’m genuinely thankful as to how you phrased this ask, it’s incredibly polite and i really appreciate that. Sometimes I get asks that feel a bit like a demand and those end up being the ones I avoid. You’ve been super respectful here and that means a lot. I’m not looking to start a discourse here either and I wont engage with it, but I figured I’d answer to say what I thought and leave it at that. Everyone is entitled to draw their own lines on this kind of thing, and they may be different to mine.

I think I have to split this answer into a couple small clusters and add a starting disclaimer

I don’t say this to defend her or whatever, but the original anon in that post is already coming in with a set feeling, and their language reflects that. Carmen isn’t a full time influencer, she very much has a job of her own and literally just finished a charity ride from London to Paris with them. Say what you want about the nature of her job in finance, or her position in the paddock, (plus jobs should not be used as a reflection of worth and respect), but she has one. I’m guessing the anon may not mean that and might be referencing past posts, but I don’t follow op so I don’t know.

Additionally, the op of that post, as far as I’m aware, is no longer a George fan, if they ever considered themselves one. So if you’re taking info from their posts and anons about George, it’s unlikely to be framed in the best light. Op is very much allowed to do that, you wouldn’t come to me for unbiased info on Max Verstappen and Kelly piquet would you? Of course not, I’m set in my feelings and I’m not gonna answer asks praising him, but I might share stuff pointing out crummy things he does because it reinforces my feelings. That’s just how tumblr works, I’m not saying it as any kind of insult or accusation, it is LITERALLY how we all blog post.

What I’m trying to say is while there and elements of truth in that post it’s… the way it’s conveyed is a bit twisted by the anon, and even op is pointing that out. If she has pull, they’ll keep sponsoring her.

Yes, Carmen does a lot of sponsor work… as does George, every time he steps into the paddock. As does LEWIS when he chooses what he dresses in. We often write off drivers sponsor work because we see it as a side obligation of their jobs, like how just today we had new Petronas photos of George and Lewis at their campuses/worksites. Much as we all, really want to ignore it bc it’s not fun to think about, Petronas is an oil and natural gas company, that wants you to think it’s green so bad. Every single person in the paddock has moments they choose money over ethics, even if it’s for a greater good eventually, it is what they do.

I don’t know specifically which brands the original anon is referencing when they mention homophobia and autism eugenics, but the note about Israel is probably linked to DIOR. While I firmly believe in following the BDS boycott, we just aren’t going to see these people do that. And comparably it’s a non starter when Lewis and George are walking around in puma Brand race suits and sport clothing, and Lewis wears Dior himself. What I’m saying is while I think they shouldn’t be wearing it, they’re on a level ground. I tried to do a little research on the recent stuff she’s been promoting, and came up without much result, BUT I’m so painfully not aware of the fashion scene. As my friends are deeply aware, and laugh at me for.

Could she stop wearing these things? Absolutely, and she should. She should also educate herself on these topics. But what I think should happen, and what I expect are two different things in the world of sport and influence. She’s not a driver, but she is almost certainly looking to expand into some level of fashion and model work alongside her job, because it’s something she enjoys. In the same way Lewis worked hard to build his brand and reputation with fashion houses who fight to clothe him now, she’s making connections for herself while working remotely as she travels with George. What she’s doing is no different than what the drivers do for themselves, the change is that we are not privy watch her do her job (can you imagine if there was an entertainment market for watching accountants lmao)

I think sometimes there’s a tendency in fandom to needle the partner people of the paddock for things we shake off their partners doing without blinking. It’s fine for Lewis and George to wear puma it’s their sponsor they probably aren’t thinking about that - but if George’s partner wears a famous brand like Dior, she should know better. Lewis and george promoted ftx, a now notoriously bankrupt crypto investment scene, and we just all went “well that sucks but they’re in a bubble of a different world, so we’ll ignore it”. While, it’s unlikely that Carmen is actively choosing to ignore these problems, she exists in that bubble with George, where they’re comfortable to only toe into charity and betterment when they feel like It isn’t interrupting their day. Lewis said it himself recently, he’s on the road so much he ends up unable to catch up with it all, if even someone as equality conscious as Lewis struggles to stay up to date, someone who isn’t minded like that probably doesn’t even notice (again, im not saying thats a good thing, it isnt, but it is the reality of it)

I’m also not surprised Tommy is clothing her, nor should any of us be. If Lewis had a committed partner who visited the track, Tommy would likely be reaching out to her too- Carmen gives them a chance to showcase their feminine clothing lines that they wouldn’t otherwise be able to do in the way they use Lewis and George. As much as we all want George and Lewis to rock up in a dress and blouse, it ain’t happening. By paying Carmen to show up in their clothes alongside George, they get to show another half of the market what they might be interested in, if they aren’t going to buy the masc clothes George and Lewis wear. If they could get Susie Wolff to do it too they probably would, the difference is that Carmen is only there for George, Susie has an independent job to do and showing up in sponsored clothing would undercut that message. Tommy aren’t favouring George by clothing Carmen, they’re just trying to buy more influence. YOU are allowed to not be comfortable with that, but there’s not an ulterior motive to it either.

I spose the summary of this post is that accepting the reality of something doesn’t mean you’re okay with it, it just means you don’t lose energy over a likely outcome. In essence this what I do with Carmen. I treat her much like the drivers, held accountable but with a certain realism to it, and I don’t judge her more harshly than them, cause thats a brand of sexism I see a lot online- the drivers are babies just trying to go vroom but their partners should know better- grow the hell up.

I don’t like when Lewis and George represent crypto, or AI, or oil based companies- but in a sport like F1 they are going to do that. A lot. And instead of letting those instances demoralise me, I ignore them and try to refuse to give them the marketing they are paying for, while instead promoting and encouraging when they support the things I do. In an advertising marketplace you are the product, by speaking up and creating positive attention around something you want them to keep doing, it becomes profitable for them to do so. Is that fucked and capitalist as hell? Fuck yeah! It sucks! But its not going ANYWHERE any time soon, and if you use it to your advantage you can do good- I grew up watching as brands lurched away from any mention of gay people- to pride icons and pink washing. Change happens in strange ways. I hate pink washing but FUCK am I glad that it’s profitable to be sold to. I’d rather be sold to than silenced and othered.

Well that was a bit of a heavy one wasn’t it, welcome back to the cash is king sport.

#asks #anonymous #wank/rants

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