#just because I share a thing to illustrate a concept does not make it your writing material

[scriptlgbt]

I'm writing a story and I'd like to how trans people get/treat STDs. If they haven't had bottom surgery is it no different than someone with those parts who is cis? But if they have, what differences are there? How about someone with no genitals?

In general it's pretty much the same as it would be for cis people. Bloodwork and a urine sample are the standard, and aren't really any different based on what someone's genitalia is like.

Pap smears and other sorts of exams can be dysphoria inducing as well, and there's some situation where it may be difficult to use a speculum because of atrophy (which can be for all sorts of reasons, hormones, vaginismus, imperforate hymen, intersex stuff). And people whose vaginas are surgically constructed don't typically have a cervix, so pap smears don't really get done as far as I know. (Sometimes speculums are used for other things though, like making sure everything is healing right, trimming or removing stitches from surgery, etc.)

But for the most part, the differences for STI testing specifically are mostly social, and can go different ways based on who is administering the test. Pap smears are in particular stressful for trans people who may have genitalia that's been altered by hormones. (I know it's irrational but the worry about getting a boner during a pap test, for instance, has crossed my mind a lot.)

Some other testing can be thrown for a loop because of the way procedure etiquette works. I had to have a transvaginal ultrasound once to check for ovarian cysts and there were definitely parts of it that were weird for me. (Transvaginal ultrasounds involve the ultrasound wand going inside the front hole for an accurate reading of specific parts of the reproductive system.) For instance, the ultrasound tech was a cis man and as part of their protocol, a cis woman nurse had to be in the room while I underwent this procedure. I hadn't asked about that ahead of time or really thought anything about it - I was in the emergency room trying to get to the bottom of extreme abdominal pain and I figured I could endure what I needed to. But in an ideal world, I'd be able to ask for a non cis person to be in the room with me I think. (I came in an ambulance, which would not take my partner with me.) (It turned out to be a 4mm kidney stone by the way, no ovarian cysts.)

Another anecdote that may be relevant to this topic is that sometimes doctors get weird about not knowing what you're testing for, because they don't know what body parts you have (and which were added at what points, made of what material). Prior to the transvaginal ultrasound, a doctor asked me what "chromosomes" I had. I honestly told him I did not know, I hadn't ever had a karyotype test as far as I knew. The doctor stumbled over himself a lot and I don't remember what else he said right after that, other than he was fumbling, got corrected, and that he was clearly Trying His Best. I interrupted the second or third useless question with, "are you asking if I have ovaries in case it might be a burst ovarian cyst or something?"

He was instantly relieved and said yes, so I told him.

There's a big problem I've noticed, that when people talk about these sorts of topics, they aren't specific enough in order to address what they mean. We use euphemisms like "assigned female" because people don't know that someone "assigned female" can have literally any body type. People seem afraid to name body parts, so they use euphemisms that rely on stereotypes and assumptions in order to be understood. But when you realize that people "assigned female" can be intersex, can have hysterectomies, can have testes, can have phalloplasties, and that everyone's parts are more or less analogous (skenes gland = prostate, etc), you realize how useless these broad categories are. If you want to ask if someone could carry a pregnancy, ask if they could carry a pregnancy. Not if they have certain chromosomes or were DFAB. Specifics matter. If I knew I was XY, that doctor would probably have assumed that the pattern of people with XY chromosomes not menstruating would include me. And if I did have ovarian cysts, or even a pregnancy, this could have dramatically impacted my health outcomes. (There have been stillbirths because of situations like this where people did not act fast enough because of ignorance around trans bodies.) I could have given in and guessed my chromosomes when the doctor asked, but what if my answer turned out to not be true? And what if the lack of confidence in my answer saved my life in some way?

I realize this is pretty far deviated from your original topic, but in terms of testing difficulties, it does feel like the sort of anecdote that would be very informative about these issues.

- mod nat

[thekingofwinterblog]

The Importance of Banter: Varric Tethras

So one of the more interesting takes I've gotten on my breakdowns of Dragon Age characters is the argument that Varric in terms of character development is one of the lesser characters in the game.

He stays the same, doesn't change much from beginning to end, and while enjoyable, his inclusion doesn't add nearly as much as some of the other characters in the game, and relies way too much on the goodwill from da2 to do most of the legwork for his inclusion in the game.

Now this isn't an argument without merit, I might agree a lot with this take... If it wasn't for the inclusion of one Dragon Age's staples, and one of the aspects that Inquisition arguably does better than ether ADO or DA2.

Character Banter.

Character Banter is extremely important because it gives us an insight into how characters think, how they interact, and showcases the more subtle elements that aren't always on display in the game itself.

Compared to the rest of the Characters, Varric is a bit different in that because he was a companion in the previous game, we can see how he's changed since the previous game.

Cassandra Pentaghast

So it's not an exaggeration to say that Cassandra and Varric has what is easily the most dynamic relationahip between any of the companions, having far and away the most interactions together out of party(And thats not even including the fact that all of DA2 is technically them talking to each other.

And this is reflected in their banter as well, where the two of them go back and forth like a married couple.

The thing that most be understood about Cassandra and Varric's banter though, is the fact that Varric is way, way smarter than Cassandra, who isn't dumb, but is not a genius by any stretch, which is reflected in the Dwarf's tendency to run rings around her all the time.

Cassandra: Have you heard from any of your Kirkwall associates Varric?

Varric: You're asking me? So you don't read my letters?

Cassandra: You're no longer my prisoner, much as you like to act like it.

Varric: Yet I still get all the suspicion.

Cassandra: I am not without sympathy, especially given recent events.

Varric: Why, Seeker, I would never accuse you of having sympathy! By the way I tend to refer to my "associates" as "friends". Maybe you're not familiar with the concept.

Cassandra: (sigh)

---

Varric: You know, Seeker, for someone with your tact and charisma you assembled a... pretty good little Inquisition. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming you didn't drag them all here by force.

Cassandra: How kind of you.

Varric: I mean, you never know, you could have kidnapped Ruffles and she'd be too polite to say anything.

Cassandra: Leliana recruited Josephine. They're... friends.

Varric: So there's a rational explanation after all. Just when I thought you had layers.

---

Varric: It makes sense that Leliana did the recruiting when the Inquisition started. Not everyone can be intimidated into signing up after all.

Cassandra: I recruited Commander Cullen.

Varric: Lucky him.

Cassandra: He has made no complaints about my manners.

Varric: His last boss was a raving lunatic who turned into a statue. That's not a high bar.

All of these three bits of banter is from early in their shared chain, and illustrates their dynamic very, very well. Varric reads Cassandra like an open book, and is able to completely take control over a situation just by playing the role of the ass who is just sniping at her because he feels like it, when what he's actually doing is maneuvering the conversation so it can end on him having the last words by playing on the things Cassandra knows she cannot refute without lying.

That takes a lot of sponanous wit and an ability to think on the spot, something cassandra does not possess, but Varric has in plenty.

Of course this dynamic is only at the start as they have plenty more as the story develops. One innparticular is their relationship regarding Varric's liturature, which is one of the more entertaining side quests in the game, but it does tell us more about them in the followup banter.

Varric: Seriously? Swords and Shields? How did you find that serial? Scrape it off the bottom of a barrel in Dust Town?

Cassandra: It was research! I thought I might learn more about the Champion.

Varric: I did write a book about the Champion. You might remember it. Had your knife stuck through it last I saw.

Cassandra: I already read that one. Twice.

Here we learn how much Cassandra actually loves to read Varric's work, but more importantly we get something we rarely see in Varric. Him talking about his own failures.

Varric likes to pretend he's this amazing writer who always produce masterpieces, as he himself says to Bianca, as if he'd write about his own failures and mistakes...

And yet there is swords and shields, a book that Varric has deemed an abyssmal failure. A joke, a mediocre piece of trash not worth the paper it was printed on... And yet it has it's fans. This work that varric despises still managed to find an audience, and despite how much satisfaction he had smugly giving it to Cassandra, that still grinds his gears.

People shouldn't like his bad work. It should be forgotten in favor of his masterpieces. A very dwarven way of thinking.

Varric: I can't believe you picked the absolute worst of my books to read. Why not Hard in Hightown?

Cassandra: I have enough mysteries and investigations of my own.

Varric: What? You don't want to solve more in your spare time?

Cassandra: Then you killed my favorite character in Chapter 3, so I threw the book across the room.

Varric: Ah, a critic. Say no more.

In this one, we get Varric both genuinely questioning Cassandra, as he seems to have assumed she actually does like investigating mysteries(she does not), but also tries to nudge her over to read High in Hightown instead.

Cassandra: Varric, how could you let the Knight-Captain be framed for murder?

Varric: Well, I did spent three entire chapters setting it up.

Cassandra: But she didn't deserve it! You'd already put her through more than enough!

Varric: Look, Seeker, if you love a character, you give them pain, ruin their lives, make them suffer. Maybe even throw in a heroic death.

Cassandra: That makes no sense!

Varric: You care enough to argue. If she had a nice afternoon and took a nap, you'd stop reading.

I could deconstruct this, but basically it's just a bit of meta commentary on what makes a good story. Not only will it not be the last, but it's not even the most blatant. After all, this one could apply to other people besides Hawke.

Cassandra: What made you write about Hawke? All your other books are complete fiction.

Varric: Someone had to set the record straight about the Champion.

Cassandra: Yet your book is still full of lies.

Varric: But true ones. That's important.

Varric loves stories... But he understands what stories are at their heart. The difference between a Recounting, and a Tale. That's what history is after all, the Tales everyone passed down.

And what good tale doesn't have a bit of exaggerated bullshit?

Cassandra: Why is the second Hard in Hightown so completely different from the first?

Varric: (sigh) Because I didn't write it. Shit, did you pay actual coin for that book? One of these days, I'm going to find the duster who wrote that garbage and introduce him to my editor.

Cassandra: By "editor," do you mean your crossbow?

Varric: No, my actual editor. Best in the business. She runs half the Coterie in Kirkwall. Stickler for grammar. She once killed a man over a semicolon. I'd never print anything without her.

This one is more meta commentary, but it does have a bit more meat to it. Varric's whole spiel about his editor being super powerful in the Coterie could be the truth, it could be complete bullshit. Or it could be something in between.

That's not the important part. The important part is that he wants Cassandra to guess, to assume, to speculate, because that is far more powerful than just laying it all out could ever be.

Cole: She has to reach the other side of the hill.

Cassandra: Who does?

Cole: The Knight-Captain. But she's injured.

Varric: (sigh) Good job, Kid.

Cassandra: Is she alright? Is that how the book ends?

Varric: Not anymore.

Cassandra: Cole, what happens to her?

Cole: I don't know. The hill went away.

So here we see that Varric is one of THOSE authors. You know the kind, the ones who will rewrite an entire storyline because the big twists was leaked ahead of time.

It's not that important in the grand scheme of things, but it's interesting how through the game we see a very consistent picture of how Varric likes to write. He's a gardner variety writer, but unlike GRRM he's not the kind thst sticks to what he had in mind and sets up if the big twist is learned before it's finished.

As for His banter with Cassandra related to Hawke, it's entertaining, but not exactly that enlightening. Except for one.

If you chose in DA2 to save carver or Bethany by making them grey wardens, you get this bit when Cassandra Questions him about them.

Varric: Aveline took him off somewhere when the Calling started going nuts, but he'll tag along. He always does.

Varric: Aveline took her off somewhere when the Calling started going nuts, but she'll try to keep Hawke out of trouble.

Cassandra misses the obvious, but you probably didn't.

Varric knew about the calling from the start. Oh he didn't know the details, and he didn't know why... But he knew there was something up with the calling from the very start, and probably figured out this was the key reason from day one.

And he didn't share it. At all.

That speaks volumes of where his true loyalties lies, and it's something a lot of people miss.

Cassandra is right. Varric's heart will never truly belong to the Inquisition so long as Hawke and his Kirkwall friends exists outside of it.

There is also a turning point in their conversations, starting around the point where Varric's personal quest with Bianca happened.

Cassandra: Am I to understand your Bianca is married?

Varric: Oh, have we reached the stage where we gossip about each other's love lives?

Varric: Did you hear that, boss? Don't worry, I'll tell you whatever she says.

Cassandra: Forget I mentioned anything. It was a simple question, Varric.

Varric: There was nothing simple about it.

Varric actually blatantly questions wheter they've reached the point where they are now talking about each others love with each other. The truth is though, they actually have.

Varric: You brought up Bianca, Seeker. Does that mean I can ask about your conquests?

Cassandra: I would rather you didn't.

Varric: No tantalizing secrets to divulge?

Cassandra: None.

(If the Inquisitor is in a relationship with Cassandra)

Varric: So no one within, say, a five foot radius has caught your eye?

Inquisitor: Really? No one at all?

Cassandra: This... is not a discussion I want to have here.

Varric: (laughs) Are you blushing, Seeker? Maker, the world really is coming to an end.

Or

Inquisitor: Perhaps Cassandra—and her conquest—would rather not discuss this in public.

Varric: Spoilsport.

Or

Varric: Nothing? You do know he's standing right there...

Cassandra: I... have no conquests.

Varric: How about dalliances? Liaisons? Illicit affairs?

Cassandra: No.

Sera: Enough poking, Varric.

Varric: Is it, Buttercup? Is it?

It a rather humorous affair, but it does show that Varric at this point is comfortable prodding Cassandra's love life, figuring out how far he can push.

Which speaks for itself at how close these two have gotten at this point.

Cassandra: Very well, Varric. If you wish to know about men I have known, I will tell you.

Varric: Look, Seeker. I was only...

Cassandra: You are right. I pried first, and fair is fair. Years ago, I knew a young mage named Regalyan. He was dashing, unlike any man I'd met. He died at the Conclave.

Varric: Oh.

Cassandra: What we had was fleeting. And years had passed. Still, it saddens me to think he's gone.

Varric: I'm sorry.

Nothing to add here, just that Varric sorta gets sad when he realizes that was friendly prodding touched a very bitter and sad point from Cassandra's pain.

For which he apologizes.

Varric: Look, Seeker, I didn't mean to make you talk about your mage friend.

Cassandra: I know. I was not trying to make you speak of Bianca. If I was, you would know. I would yell, books would be stabbed.

Varric: (Chuckles.) I'll keep that in mind.

Also as the game reaches the end section, Varric and Cassandra begin to really banter in a much more friendly way.

Cassandra: I still don't understand how drakes take that hand.

Varric: ...Hmm. Maybe we should start you on Shepherd's Six.

Cassandra: Isn't that a children's game?

Varric: Yeah.

When trying to teach Cassandra card games at this point in the story, Varric has the perfect set up for a punchline like he did in the early game, but he doesn't use it, because he isn't mocking cassandra here, he's genuinely trying to teach her how to play cards.

And so he suggest starting her off with something simple, like a card game for children, cause he understands thats where she has to start at her level.

There are plenty more, but most of it is just well written, engaging or funny back and forths. But before moving on, i wanna highlight two of them.

Varric: Did you really think the Conclave had a chance of making peace, Seeker?

Cassandra: You do not?

Varric: What was the Divine's plan? Bring everyone together and hope really hard that they would all get along?

Cassandra: Most Holy did not confide her plan to me. Perhaps she thought they were tired of death and conflict.

Varric: Oh, when is that ever been true? For Templars or mages.

Cassandra: I will not mock a dead woman, Varric. She did what she could, and that is more than most.

This conversation is very important for one simple reason. It showcases how much Varric has changed since DA2. Varric used to be one of the big believers in compromise in that game. He didn't come out and say it out right, because in that game the Templar far and away were the more evil faction, and so there was way more chances for Varric to stick up for mages, but Varric really, REALLY didn't want the mages and Templars to go to war.

He had so many friends in both factions, friends he knew would die if it ever did come to true blows.

I would say that varric was probably the best example of what neutrality in such a situation should have been. Someone who is neutral because he understood thst fundamentally, both sides even at their worst, were people. Not demons, not monsters, but human beings or elves. But unlike many others who clamor for neutrality, Varric wasn't stuck up his own ass about it.

If he saw one side go over the ljne, regardless of which it was, he would not just stand by wheter it was power hungry necromantic blood mages, or Templars like Ser Alrik.

But here, he mocks the very idea of neutrality. He has completely given up on it, and he's accepted that the only solution here, is for one side or the other will have to decisively crush the opposition.

Of course he doesnt come out and say it like that, but that's the message to take away here. So long as there is a templar or mage on the field, this war will continue. He doesn't like that fact, but he has accepted it.

Cassandra: I hear reconstruction is progressing well in Kirkwall.

Varric: I know things are bad there.

Cassandra: I wasn't trying to...

Varric: You weren't trying to remind me how bad is it in Kirkwall? So you decided to talk about it?

Cassandra: About its recovery!

Varric: What you're talking about are the buildings, and even that will take years. People don't recover so easily.

Kirkwall, that is to say, the Kirkwall Varric was born in, grew up in, and spent the happiest years of his life(When he was running there with Hawke), is dead and gone, and never coming back.

He is never getting it back.

Which will be very important for the next companion's banter.

Blackwall

Blackwall is different than the rest of the crew in that he's utterly reliant on the Banter to have any sort of presence. He has no charisma in the actual game, but he does showcase a much more entertaining character in banter.

In regards to Varric though, his mian purpose is to showcase aspects of Varric we don't often see.

One of the most important comes very, very early into their relationship.

Blackwall: I once met a dwarf who made the best home-brewed ale.

Varric: I once met a Grey Warden who got possessed by a spirit and then blew up a Chantry and killed a hundred people. What makes people think you want to hear what others of "your kind" have done, anyway?

This is a moment that is:

1. Very uncharacteristic of Varric, who usually loves talking about other people if he gets any excuse to do so, and will be demonstrated in a very similar moment in his banter with the Iron Bull, only with a different reaction.

2. It's here to showcase Varric's hatred for Anders. Other than Sebastian, Varric misses pretty much the entire DA2 cast, his true best friends... Except for Anders.

Varric LOATHES Anders for his actions, for kickstarting the Mage Templar War and getting lots of his friends killed, but also for destroying his home and making his own worst fear come true.

Varric's biggest fear as shown in the fade is becoming his parents... And that's exactly what he has become in DAI. The depressed exile from a home city that he can never return to, and if he does, it won't be the same life they miss so dearly. Varric misses Kirkwall. He misses it's people, the Hanged man, and always thinking back on the glory days of his life.

And he misses Hawke.

All lost to him and never coming back, all thanks to Anders. Varric can never return back to that time, that place, that era, that friend group that was the highpoint of Varric's life, because the city of Champion Hawke and Varric the sidekick is as dead and gone as his parents.

The hanged man will never be the same, Hawke will never be the revered Hero they were after act 2, and every single one of the countless friends that Varric misses will not come back.

And so he hates Anders with a level of hatred he reserves for very, very few people.

The rest of Varric's starting relationship with Blackwall is about him trying to figure out what makes him tick, innitially pegging him as another Sebastian. Boring, safe, droll.

He also has more banter where he shows how depressed he actually is about Kirkwall.

Blackwall: I've been to Kirkwall. The Hanged Man, actually, probably been twenty years now. It was a dive if I remember correctly.

Varric: It's the dive. Filled with the best and worst people in the world.

Blackwall: Yes, I heard it was a haunt of yours.

Varric: Haunt? It was home.

He finally clicks with Blackwall, as they get into a shared passion nobody else in the party has. Jousting. The sport consistent of knocking people of horses with pointy sticks.

As a Free Marcher Varric has grown up with the Grand Tourney as a focal point of his identity, and loves the sport, so he and Blackwall bonds and argues over the sport, with the most notable part being their disagreements over who is the better jousting knight, where he also gives his own cents in the form of a meta commentary between who is the better protagonist, the Hero of Ferelden or Hawke.

Blackwall: You can't really think Reeve Asa is a better knight than Honorine Chastain. Her record's flawless. Four hundred jousts, never unseated. No one's ever come close to it.

Varric: Oh, she's easily the most skilled. That's a fact. It's just "scrappy" is better than "flawless." I like heroes who try their damnedest, even if they fail a lot. It's easy to be valiant when you always win and everything goes your way. There's nothing great in that.

The rather unsubtle meta message here, is comparing the protagonists of the first games.

The warden is the stronger, more skilled and more competent protagonist who ultimately always triumphed, changed the world, and became heralded far and wide as the greatest hero of her age.

Meanwhile Hawke is the scrappy underdog hero who always gets back on their feet regardless of how hard they fall, and never actually suceeds in anything. Hawke is a failure Hero who couldn't save their mother, their city, at least one of their siblings, maybe two, Ketojan, couldn't prevent the Qunari attack, and constantly failed to save the day through DA2.

Now i don't really agree with this rather simplistic reading of the Warden, but it's a good scene, because it shows that Varric is more than capable of overlooking all the work, effort and time it takes to produce a "perfect" result, as well as show that Varric has a very hard preference for underdogs, and the stories they produce.

Which leads into his reaction when Blackwall confesses his sins.

Varric: Maybe I've been too hard on you.

Blackwall: Oh, so you don't think I'm dreadful now.

Varric: Actually, I thought you were boring before. Completely different. We're all dreadful. Every one of us, fundamentally flawed in a hundred different ways. That's why we're here, isn't it? Take all the risks, so the good people stay home where it's safe. With the whole "Blackwall" thing, you told a story so compelling even you started to believe it.

Blackwall: That's much nicer than saying "You're a dirty liar.", I'll take it.

Varric: A story-teller's got to believe his own story, or no one will.

Here we can gleam a sad fact. Varric very pointedly notes "we're all dreadfull", as Us, as in, him included.

Varric doesn't really consider himself a good person anymore, if he ever did.

It's not like the Varric of Yesteryear considered hinself a saint or some knight in shining armor, but there was a sense that he was happy with himself during that game, in a way he is not in DAI.

Something has changed, and that something is guilt over unleashing the red lyrium on the world, and probably guilt over killing his own friends.

It's not really focused on as much as it should be, but Varric had plenty of friends amongst both the mages and Templars... Which meant that when Anders blew up the chantry, regardless of which side you picked, Varric was forced to kill people who genuinely mattered to him.

Hence why he's so quick to forgive Blackwall for his lies.

For the most part this generally manifests itself in regards to Red Lyrium, which he blames himself for bringing into the world. I would argue that the more subtle parts you get to see in Banter though, is far, far more interesting and better told than the stuff in the main quest.

Because despite his flaws he "takes all the risks, so the good people won't have to.", just like Varric and Hawke.

This is in large amount what Varric in Inquisition is for the most part all about. Guilt, self loathing, and wanting to be a better person.

He just masks it with his usual wit, charm and charisma.

Kinda like Blackwall, only he doesn't really have much charisma or wit to hide behind. Hence why he is so accepting of, and willing to give him another chance without question.

On a final note before we move on from Blackwall, we also get to see varric try to play matchmaker between Blackwall and Josephine which is cute, but not exactly surprising, or give us further insight into Varric's character.

Cole

Now, I'm not going to cover Cole here, not because the banter isn't interesting, or we don't learn anything, but that's all from the way we learn about the world, or Cole himself.

Varric's side of these banters can be summed up in one sentence, for pretty much every single banter.

Varric is Cole's dad.

Rinse, repeat.

Dorian

Similarily, I will not be covering the banter with dorian, not because it's bad, far from it, it's some of the most entertaining in the game, but it doesn't exactly add much beyond the fact that both Varric and Dorian love to gamble, and share witty banter.

Also nugs has some creepy ass feet. The stuff of nightmares.

The Iron Bull

Far more to be dissected, can be found in Varric's banter with the Iron Bull.

There is so much to learn from this banter, from Spy work to how the Antaam is viewed by the other Qunari and so on, but we'll focus on the stuff relating to varric, as he and bull talk about a lot of things.

Varric: You're not the first Ben-Hassrath I've run across. Hawke and I went on a caper with one named Tallis.

Iron Bull: You don't say.

Varric: She caused us no end of trouble. You wouldn't know her by any chance?

Iron Bull: Hey, one time I ran into this dwarf on the road. Short, grouchy. You think you might know him?

Varric: I'm in the Merchant Guild. Ten royals says I not only know him—he owes me money.

Iron Bull: Oh. Well... no. I don't know Tallis. Sorry.

In stark contrast to his talk with Iron bull, when not involving Anders or other people he hates, Varric loves to talk about people. To the point that in his comeback to Iron Bull, there is an invitation here for Bull to specify who this random dwarf was, because chances are, he actually might know him, and could elaborate on the guy.

Varric: How could you possibly be a spy?

Iron Bull: Well, it's a pretty easy job. I do some fighting, and drinking, and then once in a while I tell Par Vollen about it.

Varric: Heh. Where's the sneaking, the plotting, the subtle machinations?

Iron Bull: If you do that, everyone knows you're a spy. Drinking, fighting, writing notes, that's all it really takes.

Varric: Shit. You're either the worst qunari ever, or the best. I can't decide.

He also showcases great frustration with the way Iron Bull pokes holes in his Bond like spy writing, in favor of the mundane realities of Cloak and Dagger stuff.

Because for all that he prides himself on tall tales, varric does like his writing to somewhat be plausible. Its why he gets pissy at the inquisitor when he tells him how stupid so many parts of DA2 were writing wise, cause Varric wrote it how it happened, and while embelishing it, it was mostly true.

And if his spy writing isn't realistic enough that it might plausibly happen... Then it's not as good as it could be.

Iron Bull: By the way, Varric, you write some nice fight scenes.

Varric: Well, thank you. I'm surprised you think so. They're not exactly realistic.

Iron Bull: I figured that out when the good guy did a backflip while wearing a chain mail shirt.

Varric: And that didn't bother you?

Iron Bull: Back in Seheron, I fell on a guy who tried to stab me in the gut. I felt the blade chip as it went through my gut and hit my back ribs. But I was alive, and on top. I sawed through the armor on the rebel's neck, back and forth, until it went red. I don't need a book to remind me that the world is full of horrible crap.

Varric: Impossible swashbuckling it is.

Meanwhile, this bit is surprisingly layered.

First off, there is Bull's retelling and describing the way he dealt with the Vint while bing impaled as "realistic". If this was not a world with magical healing such as potions or poultices he'd had died from this incident, due to infection if nothing else. That's meant as a bit of meta irony.

But the actual meat of this, is that Varric is just letting Bull rant.

The whole "Backflip while wearing chainmail armor" is something Hawke can literarily do in DA2, Provided you are a rogue Hawke and has high enough stats. If so, when hit by a trap, Hawke will simply backflip out of the way, even if wearing chainmail armor.

It is the kind of shit that for a long was normal for Varric, and he writes it into his fight scenes(Which he has a self dig at calling them not realistic, despite having seen shit like that for himself all the time).

But he doesnt say any of that.

Instead he just lets Bull rant, get it out there how shitty he really feels, because varric knows when to talk, and when to listen, and here is a time to listen.

Varric: So, Bull. You and Dorian?

Iron Bull: Mm-hmm.

Varric: "Two worlds tearing them apart, Tevinter and Qunari, with only love to keep them together."

Dorian: I don't see how this is even remotely your business, Varric.

Iron Bull: Could you make it sound angrier? "Love" is a bit soft.

Dorian: Please stop helping the dwarf.

Varric: How about passion?

Iron Bull: Yes, that's better. Love is all starlight and gentle blushes. Passion leaves your fingers sore from clawing the sheets.

Dorian: You could at least have had the courtesy to use the bedposts.

Iron Bull: Hey, don't top from the bottom.

Varric: Passion it is, then.

Also, i wanna highlight his banter with bull, if he and dorian hook up, and if both are with him in the party. It's really the only bit of Dorian varric banter with real character meat to it, as it puts Dorian's rarely seen tsundere side on full display, and why he makes such a good match with the easy going, yet equally passionate iron bull.

Iron Bull: Hey, Varric, I was reading your stuff... Where do your bad guys come from?

Varric: Well, some of them come from Tevinter and some are Ben-Hassrath spies... but I like the stories where the villain was the man beside you the whole time. The best villains don't see themselves as evil. They're fighting for a good cause, willing to get their hands dirty.

Iron Bull: All right, that's really deep and all, but I meant where do the bad guys come from literally? The way you write it, it's like they just fall from the sky and land on top on the hero.

Varric: I like to leave some things to the reader's imagination.

Also, final bit i'll cover of these two here. It's both a meta hit of writing in that it's supposed to be about solas, but can also apply to Iron bull, and is a self depreciating dig on the single worst gameplay mechanic from DA2.

Sera

So, as with Cole and Dorian, im not covering this sequence of banter as it doesn't really reveal much about Varric as a character. Its generally just Sera trying her usual bullshit, and Varric taking the piss out of her, much to her frustration.

Im not exactly a big fan of Sera, and even here, where most of their dialogue is about Varric basicaly running rings around her, don't really makes me smile.

There is one bit of banter though, that i do want to highlight.

Sera: (sing-song) La la la la la, Sentinals are shits.

Varric: Like it or not, Buttercup, that’s where you come from.

Sera: Says the undwarfiest dwarf ever!

Varric: Fair enough. Paragons can be shits too.

So, this one i feel is extremely important, for the reason that it goes to showcase that 1. Sera doesn't understand Varric in the slightest, and 2. Really goes to showcase Sera's complete and total lack of self awareness, and just how out of touch she is, raiding other people's homes, and calling them shits for defending themselves.

But that second one i'll save for Sera's banter review.

For this one, I want to highlight how Varric, just like Dorian understands and more importantly loves the Culture he originates from. He knows how shitty dwarven culture can be, and will never avoid taking the piss out of it for all it's flaws, but he also admires it. He admires their ability to create marvels, their grit and determination that has seen them take on the Darkspawn for a hundred years and still stand, and the individuals that stood up and above the rest to serve as legends, just like Hawke and the Inquisitor.

There is a reason his hangouts in both games are decorated full of very traditional dwarven furniture. Because he wants to live in a home that looks dwarven.

Because the past is important.

It's a bit of wisdom he tries, and fails to impart to Sera, that you simply trying to pretend your roots don't exists never works. And he's right. Even though Sera never admits wrong on her own part, she fully admits she burnt out on this spiteful hatred in Tresspasser.

Solas

Solas and Varric's banter though, is far, far more interesting.

Both of them are tricksters, both value the past greatly in their own way, both understands the power of a story, both of them lie to the Inquisitor, and both would rather remain the side character than step up to take the spotlight.

And yet they are different. Opposites almost.

One of Varric's defining feature as a person is that he cares about all his friends and how those friendships transcends the chains of status, having become friends with dwarves, Qunari, kossiths, humans, elves, templars, mages, seekers, antivans, fereldens, kirkwallers, orlesians, tevinters, anders, revains, avvar, and so on.

Solas single defining feature is how he sees everyone he does not knows except for his own, very small list of what he considers countrymen, as not things, and is willing to destroy the world for them to prosper.

Varric stays out of the spotlight cause he likes being the power behind the throne. Solas does it because as the Herald's Judas, he doesn't want anyone to question the many, many questions about him further than they have to.

Varric lives in the present, but respects the past. Solas in the past, and is terrified of the present.

Which leads to some of the most interesting banter in the game.

Solas: By the end of Hard in Hightown, almost every character is revealed as a spy or a traitor.

Varric: Wait, you read my book?

Solas: It was in the Inquisition library. Everyone but Donnen turned out to be in disguise. Is that common?

Varric: Are we still talking about books or are you asking if everyone I know is a secret agent?

Solas: Are there many tricksters in dwarven literature?

Varric: A handful, but they're the exception. Mostly they're just honoring the ancestors. It's very dull stuff. Human literature? Now there's where you'll find the tricky, clever, really deceptive types.

Solas: Curious.

Varric: Not really. Dwarves write how they want things to be. Humans write to figure out how things are.

Solas questions Varric about the to him, alien Dwarven liturature, trying to figure out what the new, "lesser" dwarves might write about when no longer part of a hivemind.

Varric gives it to him straight, but there is a deeper bit of character here.

Varric is able to explain this to Solas, because as a man who understands Dwarven culture, strengths, flaws, and weaknesses, and how it ticks, as well as undoubtedly having read a lot of dwarven literature, Varric is able to point out all it's shortcomings, or more accurately the way Human and Dwarven literature trends differentiate due to different cultural values.

Varric: You really spend most of your time in the Fade?

Solas: As much as is possible. The Fade contains a wealth of knowledge for those who know where to look.

Varric: Sure, but I don't know how you dream, let alone wander around in there.

Varric: Especially when the shit that comes out of the Fade generally seems pretty cranky.

Solas: So are humans, but we continue to interact with them... when we must.

Here Varric pries a bit into a topic he(If you took him with you in night terrors) only has experienced once before for himself, from someone who knows more about the fade and the veil than anyone.

Solas ends it on a much darker note than Varric assumes though, as what he means is, we have to tolerate them "for now."

Solas: Is it true that the entire dwarven economy relies upon lyrium?

Varric: Mostly. We've got the nug market cornered as well.

Solas: And the dwarves of Orzammar have never studied lyrium?

Varric: If they have, they certainly haven't shared anything up here. Why?

Solas: It is the source of all magic, save that which mages bring themselves.

Solas: Dwarves alone have the ability to mine it safely. I wondered if they had sought to learn more.

Varric: The folks back in Orzammar don't care much about anything but tradition.

So here we have Varric flat out bullshit Solas in several ways. He knows way more about lyrium than most, having studied red lyrium himself, and yet he does not give that information to Soals, the way he does with the Herald, showing that deep down, Varric trusts you far more than Solas, if not as much as Hawke.

He also knows that both surface and underground Dwarves have deeper knowledge of lyrium than any human, being it's the source of all the enchantments and magic, and that while they might not know it's origins, they understand how it works, and how to use it, transport it, store it, and so on.

If there is one thing Orzammar is good at, and not stuck in tradition, it's exploiting Lyrium to the hilt.

And yet he bullshits Solas about it completely. Because this is an early banter, the likely reason is simply that he does not trust him.

Which given his other important lies is not surprising.

And solas later recognizes this.

Solas: I find the fall of the dwarven lands confusing.

Varric: What's so confusing about endless darkspawn?

Solas: A great deal, although that is a different matter. Dwarves control the flow of lyrium. They could tighten their grip on it.

Varric: It's hard to get the attention of the humans when the darkspawn aren't up here messing with their stuff.

Solas: You're active in the Carta. You know your people could tug the purse strings. You could claim sovereign land on the surface, or demand help restoring the dwarven kingdom, but you don't.

Varric: You're not saying anything I haven't said myself, Chuckles. Orzammar is what it is

Solas Attacks Varric's arguments from adifferent angle here, without directly calling him a liar from the banter before, as he points out just how much power Orzammar has through it's economic might, how even if they know how to use Lyrium so effectively, they haven't been wielding that might to effecrively hammer out an anti Darkspawn coalition to crush the darkspawn in their own dens and wipe them out from the source.

Realistically, the dwarves are rhe only ones who could see it done, and yet they havent. Because before Bhelen, there was never a king willing to upend the entire system to get results.

Varric doesn't actually give his direct thoughts in this bit of banter, but it goes into future ones. Before that though, im gonna quickly cover another bit of banter.

Solas: Do you ever miss life beneath the earth? The call of the Stone?

Varric: Nah. Whatever the Stone - capital S - is, it was gone by the time my parents had me.

Solas: But... do you miss it?

Varric: How could I miss what I never had?

Varric: But say I did have that sense, that connection to the Stone. What would it cost me?

Varric: Would I lose my friends up here? Would I stop telling stories?

Varric: I like who I am. If I want to hear songs, I'll go to the tavern.

Solas: You are wiser than most.

Solas worships the past, to such a degree that he thinks being part of a hivemind under the titans, must have been better for the Dwarves, because of what it allowed them to accomplish by magic, and more importantly that it's what they used to be.

And what they used to be, must be better than what they are now, because the past is better.

Meanwhile Varric is content with the present. He never had stone sense, so why worry about it? Why dream of it, why become his parents? That would be absolutely awful, so why not embrace what you have now.

Though Solas doesn't know it, his backhanded praise here is actually even moreso than he knows.

Its backhanded by intention, because he acknowledges that varric is wiser than those who would wail about their lost glory... But as we'll see in the following banter, he regards all Dwarves, regardless of wheter they are like Varric, as lessers and fools. So varric is better... But he is still a fool.

Meanwhile, on Varric's part, it's even more backhanded than Solas intends because Varric is doing exactly what he's saying he isn't here.

Dreaming of glory days when all was simplier and he was a happier man. He's not dreaming of stone sense itself, but the sentiment is the same.

And he knows it. That's one of the saddest things about Varric in DAI. He became his parents, his worst fear, but he's very much aware of that fact.

Solas: Is there at least a movement to reunite Orzammar and Kal-Sharok?

Varric: What is it with you, Chuckles? Why do you care so much about the dwarves?

Solas: Once, in the Fade, I saw the memory of a man who lived alone on an island. Most of his tribe had fallen to beasts or disease. His wife had died in childbirth. He was the only one left. He could have struck out on his own to find a new land, new people. But he stayed. He spent every day catching fish in a little boat, every night drinking fermented fruit juice and watching the stars.

Varric: I can think of worse lives.

Solas: How can you be happy surrendering, knowing it will all end with you? How can you not fight?

Varric: I suppose it depends on the quality of the fermented fruit juice.

Solas: So it seems.

---

Solas:: I am sorry to have bothered you with my questions about your people Varric. I see so much of this world in dreams. Humans, my own people, even qunari. Dwarves alone were lost to me, save scattered fragments of memory where some spirit cared to watch. Now I know why I see so little.

Varric: And why is that?

Solas:: Dwarves are the severed arm of a once mighty hero, lying in a pool of blood. Undirected. Whatever skill of arms it had, gone forever. Although it might twitch to give the appearance of life, it will never dream.

Varric: I'd avoid mentioning that to any Carta, Chuckles. They might not take it the right way.

---

Varric: What's with you and the doom stuff? Are you always this cheery or is the hole in the sky getting to you?

Solas: I've no idea what you mean.

Varric: All the "fallen empire" crap you go on about. What's so great about empires anyway?

Varric: So we lost the Deep Roads, and Orzammar is too proud to ask for help. So what? We're not Orzammar and we're not our empire.

Varric: There are tens of thousands of us living up here in the sunlight now, and it's not that bad.

Varric: Life goes on. It's just different than it used to be.

Solas: And you have no concept of what that difference cost you.

Varric: I know what it didn't cost me. I'm still here, even after all those thaigs fell.

---

Solas: You truly are content to sit in the sun, never wondering what you could've been, never fighting back.

Varric: Ha, you've got it all wrong, Chuckles. This is fighting back.

Solas: How does passively accepting your fate constitute a fight?

Varric: In that story of yours—-the fisherman watching the stars, dying alone. You thought he gave up, right?

Solas: Yes.

Varric: But he went on living. He lost everyone, but he still got up every morning. He made a life, even if it was alone.

Varric: That's the world. Everything you build, it tears down. Everything you've got, it takes. And it's gone forever.

Varric: The only choices you get are to lie down and die or keep going. He kept going. That's as close to beating the world as anyone gets.

Solas: Well said. Perhaps I was mistaken

This entire banter line is about Varric and Solas.

On solas part it's about his very well spoken and articulated racist opinions on the modern dwarves compared to those who came before and trying to rack his brian around them not going to the lengths he himself would have gone to save their race.

Also the fact they are no longer part of the Titan hivemind. He's really stuck on that for reasons we don't really fully understand.

However, far, far more importantly this is about Varric's entire storyline in DAI.

Varric talks about Orzammar, about the loss of the deep roads, and yet they are all still there, still fighting, still marching on, rather than laying down and dying.

That is the true strength of the Dwarven race.

The ability to keep going even after losing everything. The original dwarves lost the titans and their magic. They marched on.

The dwarven empire lost the deep roads, and all but two thaigs. They marched on.

The surface dwarves lost their caste the last remains of their magic, and their status in dwarven society. They marched on.

Varric lost kirkwall. He lost his entire friend group that was the people who he loved more than any other group of people he has ever know. He lost his home that he grew up in and loved. He lost his parents and he lost Barthrand, the only remaining family he had, and who despite it all deeply, deeply loved. He lost Bianca, a teenage infatuation he never was able to get over.

And he lost Hawke. Either to Anders kickstsrting the war, or to the fade.

He lost everything he loved.

And yet He. Marched. On.

Varric's story in DAI is an understated one, one that isn't really given story focus, but unlike all the rest of the attempts at telling a more subtle story with the companions, this one actually worked.

Varric's story, is about his march onwards.

He lost everything due to Anders actions, and yet here he is. Marching forward through life. He hasn't laid down and died. He's still here. He's still fighting.

He still has hope.

And so he marches on through the twilight of his life, and keeps going, even if he loses Hawke forever... He keeps going, and he makes it through his depression, and grief to make a new life for himself in Kirkwall.

A new Kirkwall, but Kirkwall nonetheless.

Solas: That crossbow is remarkable, Varric. I am surprised the dwarves have not made more of them.

Varric: The woman who made Bianca would rather that not happen. Wars are bloody enough as it is.

Varric: A crossbow that fires this far and this quickly with so little training? Every battle would be a massacre.

Solas: Indeed. I am surprised, not disappointed.

Here we get a lot of insight into Varric... But also a moment of great moral ambiguity.

Everything Varric says here is true... But it would also mean his people finally, finally being able to destroy the darkspawn for good and all. Such a tech advantage would allow them to wipe the blighted Creatures from existence with ease.

Varric is more than brilliant enough to understand this... But he chooses not to think about it, or wheter it's a good course of actions, because he is shackled to Bianca even now, even still.

Bianca wants this crossbow not to be on the market, so he doesn't put it on the market, regardless of good or bad.

Varric: Hey Chuckles, do you ever play Wicked Grace?

Solas: I'm not much of a gambler anymore.

Varric: You don't have to play for real coin, that's just for keeping score.

Solas: What do you play for?

Varric: Conversation mostly. That way I win no matter how the cards fall.

This is a followup to Varric's original introductionary short story from way back in the day.

From that one we learn that Varric doesn't actually drink anything served at the Hanged man, he just orders a wine glass or beer mug, because he knows people get nervous if you don't drink in a bar, so he crafts an illusion to aid him in his rogue life.

Vivienne

So like a number of these I'm not gonna cover them in full, as while good, and well written, and paints a very clear picture of Vivienne, they're not exactly deep character pieces for Varrix... But I do wanna cover a few.

Vivienne: Am I to understand, Varric, that you knew the apostate who destroyed Kirkwall's chantry?

Varric: Unfortunately, yes.

Vivienne: What could he possibly have hoped to accomplish with such madness?

Varric: Exactly what he got: a whole lot of innocent people killing each other.

Vivienne: I take it he's no longer on your Wintersend gift list.

Varric: Depends. Does a flaming sack of bronto dung count as a gift?

Vivienne: Only if you tie it with a silk ribbon, my dear.

More Varric hating Anders, and laying all the blame of the Mage Templar Wars and ruining his life on him.

Vivienne: Tell me, Varric, who is the protagonist of this serial?

Varric: You know, we're so far into spoiler territory right now, I think I better stop talking.

Vivienne: Come now, darling. You can tell me.

Varric: Not on your life, Iron Lady. The best way to ensure a book's nevered finish is to tell someone your entire plot.

More Varric showcasing he cannot stand spoilers coming out, and it destroys his entire ability to write.

Vivienne: You know, Varric darling, I read your Hard in Hightown.

Varric: You did? Seriously?

Vivienne: Most of the Imperial Court did. It was in fashion a few winters ago.

Varric: Just how much gold is my publisher stealing from me?

One detail i really like about Varric, is that he tries to create this image of himself as always bring in control and all that... And then he has moments like this where his regular ass publisher swindles him for a shit ton of money.

Vivienne: How many chapters will this book be, Varric dear?

Varric: Well, the first one will come out in twelve chapters.

Vivienne: The first one?

Varric: I've read enough Orlesian fictions to know you never tell a story there in fewer than three complete books. They think you're just warming up after one.

Vivienne: And what happens to the scheming duchess in the first book?

Varric: Are you asking for spoilers, Madame De Fer?

Vivienne: Hints, darling. Not spoilers.

More Varric showcasing he understands other cultures and how they write stories.

[eightyuh]

That Penn art is so good! ❤️ It's a great fic, too. @ratcatcher0325 does fantastic character arcs.

So... have you transitioned from 'I just found out what G/t is' to 'Okay, I might have accidentally joined this community.' ?

I'm curious to hear your thoughts because G/t has so many potential settings, concepts and vibes, that I think tons more people could get into the 'fandom' (actually more of a trope).

But one of the major things driving people away is the mixed association with NSFW/kink stuff. Even the most wholesome G/t fluff feels like something weird I have to hide from friends/family. 😞

Feel free not to answer: but what were your initial impressions about the G/t fandom? How did they change as you learned more?

(first of all, this is like a really good ask-- I appreciate your insight on the matter haha ... what with me accidentally creating Wick's End as a G/T comic and coming into all this as an outsider)

Thank you!! It was a nice read; they did a good job writing. Unfortunately for me, I can't just enjoy media without analyzing it. It was interesting to see how another author wrote a story intentionally as G/T - setting up scenarios ;) and indulging in the element of physical contact as a love language.

While I hesitate to claim membership to any fandom as an identity, yes, I would say I am a G/T enjoyer among you. :) I appreciate how flexible it can be used to express themes like emotions, protection, vulnerability, disability, etc.

I'll admit, I was initially cautious because I did suspect it was a kink-oriented. As time went on, I came to see that G/T makes efforts to separate itself from the perverted sect off in another corner. The genuine feelings of earnestness, wholesomeness, and shared sense of vulnerability is what won me over. I love that understanding and taking care of one another is a foundation within the G/T community. Really, I can't think of the last internet community I came across and thought positively of-- if that means anything haha. That doesn't mean it doesn't have total weirdos too lol. I even lurk in the GTCon Discord VC occasionally while I work on Wick's End as a sort of parallel-play motivator >/////<

. . .

The reason I still don't tag Wick's End as G/T is because I don't want people reading this story thinking that was my intention. YES it is G/T, tropes and all, but I did not write it with the intention to indulge in that sort of fantasy. It's meant to be a storytelling aid that illustrates chronic burnout... which otherwise would be an invisible condition. I don't want outsiders to mistake this as written for a kink / community they don't belong to -- and at the same time -- I also don't want G/T community members to misinterpret it as fiction written specifically to entertain the trope.

I hope breaking this up in paragraphs + adding a pic made it less of an eye-sore haha. Thank you for asking such a personalized question!

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

One of my most consistent thoughts throughout 100 Gfs has been "This is a weird topic, but you've handled it surprisingly well." Some of the issues feel like unfortunate aspects of the culture in general, while others are topics that are handled so poorly so often that it really leaves a bad taste in one's mouth. It says a lot that Nozawa and Nakamura can take some of the least-liked tropes in the genre and actually do great things with them. A little self-awareness goes a long way -Mod Bubbles

//There are two reasons why that is the way it is.

//The first is that the very reason why 100 Girlfriends does a lot of what it does, and plays around with the ridiculous tropes it has, is purely to rip the everloving piss out of harem and romance as a genre.

//Rightfully so.

//But what's clever about it is they utilize these tropes and poke fun of them while simultaneously avoiding falling in the traps that said tropes have set for previous mangaka's.

//The cast of 100 girlfriends includes a literal MILF, who is the mother of one of the other girlfriends, and also is a blatant lolicon and shotacon; the main character's 12-year old cousin, a girl who became a masseuse purely because she wanted to grope women's breasts, someone's actual grandmother who is 89 in the body of an 8 year old, someone who is usually very stoic and serious but starts acting like an actual baby when she's coddled, someone who only dates you because you're also dating her older sister, an actual sleazeball drunk and gambling addict, a girl with a violence fetish, a fucking cat, and a BRITISH LOLI!

//And yet none of these bass-ackwards tropes put me off these characters because they are FUNNY! And they aren't done in a way that makes you dislike the characters because the entire purpose of why they're like that is because you're supposed to see it as a joke on characters in manga and anime who are like them UNIRONICALLY.

//The second reason I think was put best by Gigguk when he did a video on this series. Because the core concept of the manga is about a guy getting 100 different girls to fall in love with him, and share him with the other 99, there is no way in hell that anyone can take a concept like that with any due sincerity or seriousness.

//So Nakamura just said "fuck it!"

//100 Girlfriends can get away with what it does because from the VERY CONCEPT, you have no suspension of disbelief, so really, the way the manga carries itself isn't by trying to make you pick a team or get engaged in the narrative; it's by trying to find a brand new, absolutely absurd way to either make you laugh, tug on your heartstrings, make you audibly say "What the actual fuck," or oftentimes, all of the above.

//Like Danganronpa, 100 Girlfriends shares the premise of having this widespread colourful cast of different characters, all based on stereotypes and well-known gimmicks and tropes, constantly getting into unrealistic and stupid hijinks and situations, for people to sink their teeth into and react to, but UNLIKE Danganronpa, where I definitely have a mixed opinion on a lot of its cast (looking at you specifically, Danganronpa V3) I could not tell you a single character in this manga that I dislike, at least not outside the main cast.

//And I think the reason why that is, is the difference between Kodaka and Nakamura as writers, in that Kodaka's style of writing is very DATED and relies on more classical character tropes, whereas Nakamura's humor is very modern, and keeps up with modern day events, in a similar fashion to something like how South Park constantly rips the piss out of modern society and why it's so stupid. And Nozawa takes this absurdity and runs with it with the illustrations.

//Hell, in the most recent chapter of the manga, Uto quotes Winnie the Pooh, and they make a joke about how he went public domain, and therefore, discussing whether or not she's allowed to get away with that. And it's really goddamn funny when it doesn't need to be.

//Anyway, bottom line is I love this manga and anime too much for my own good. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

-Mod

[123puppy]

I LOVE YOUR DIBPER ART!! A lot of dibper stuff has weird sexual undertones but yours is so wholesome and happy. I love dib and he's such a sad and neglected character, so seeing him happy is so great to me <333

I'm happy y'all like my art!

I lean more heavily into cute-stupid love in most ships, especially in young love. They're both teenage boys but they don't tread far into those urges.

Dipper is still a sweaty nervous boy and I like the way he acts in the series because it's very accurate (Once upon a time I was a teenage girl and trust me I've met a lot of 'Dippers', some were alright and others were... uncomfortable) to how boys act his age. Dipper has his fair share of being just as creepy as Mabel (he has multiple pictures of Wendy, lies awake thinking about her, and whispers to himself about her looks while standing RIGHT NEXT TO HER) but those things are all 'young love' with a hint of 'obsession' and it happens to all of us. The thing is, Dipper is a aware of his 'crush' and doesn't outright force himself onto Wendy or manipulate her like Robbie did. He just wants to hang out with her, be cool around her and make her happy.

Dipper's character is pretty much close to the same as how I draw him with Dib, he likes Dib and wants to hang out with him.

And Dib likes Dipper, there's no question about it. I'm pretty sure Dib is more comfortable around Dipper than he's ever been with a living soul. Dipper is his first real friend and shares his fascination with cryptids. And he believes Dib when Dib says he fought an alien!

No one listened to him about anything and Dib was a shut-in until he and Gaz were sent to Gravity Falls.

I don't have a full story and probably never will because I'm not a good illustrator but I wanted to write out how Dipper and Dib met like maybe it was in the Mystery Shack where Dib heard how the townsfolk go there to buy 'real' merch and when he does go he's not impressed by it at all Lmao

I can see Dib talking back to Stan and questioning his props and Dipper and Mabel are in the other room hearing their Great Uncle yelling and checks it out and Mabel immediately 'falling in love' with Dib upon seeing him (I love Mabel don't worry)

How they meet is still unsure, my original concept was Dib losing his glasses out in the woods and Dipper finds him and helps him back to the Shack to replace them (and not charging him because why not lol)(or they're both out in the woods and run into each other when being chased by 'something' Idk)

I'll end it here because this is getting too long I'm so sorry but thank you for liking my art I appreciate it!

[utnewfoundfamily]

Hii,question for the author! Cold we see a bit of plot, maybe a few posts that lets us see the characters and settings that you made,maybe some doodle comics? I just found your blog, and wanted to ask, but there isnt a starting story yet, just characters. Or is the story somewhere else and im missing something?

Also, I adore how you draw, very cool style!

I’ve waited for MONTHS to be able to make stuff for this world. And my deepest apologies for the delay and lack of said story posted here. Though I have a document for this AU pinned on this account, I feel it is important to share the tale in case anything were to happen to the document. Keeping a record of sorts. With that said, I hope you don’t mind that I indulge you with the plot here in this ask. Better to write it if I am unable to illustrate all the details.

Big thing I want to emphasize is that Frisk doesn’t have the ability to restart. From what is understood on their part, the option has all but vanished. Not that they want to restart in the first place. What they have now is great! Life for them feels, well, real. Not like a video game such as before. They get to make their own decisions about what to do. Some good, some bad, and some dumb. Regardless, they have the freedom to dictate their life. It’s been like that for 8 years and hasn’t changed since. Though the idea of it turning back into a game is a big possibility (or rather inevitable). But thankfully it won’t send them all the way back into the underground. That would be hell if it did.

Another thing, Frisk’s story is about settling down with one thought that they have been trying to convince themselves is wrong and evil. And that thought is that it’s okay to fight back. Because the center point of the story is them going against another human named Vance whose own soul is corrupted and means to do harm to Frisk and any life they may value and cherish. Why? Purely because he’s jealous of what Frisk is. That they, and so many other humans have magic and Vance does not.

Vance is a boy who is obsessed with magic of humans and monsters alike. Especially Frisk’s. They’re the main one who seems to have more going on than so many others in their community. However you see it, the boy is bad news and a bit of a freak. Definitely not a kid you want to be around. But he was the one who pushed Frisk to this new game that he will become aware of and have fun playing in. Frisk won’t though and will be so stressed out.

The main goal of this thing of mine is that no one should ever be blaming Frisk for anything here. They will do whatever they can to make things better. To try see good and seek out the possibility that change is out there for Vance. But he won’t want it and bash the options because it’s not what he wants. We are the viewers of this story. And all Frisk just wants is to live their life and live it with their family. That family being:

Sans

Papyrus

Aster (Gaster)

And the Dreemurrs

They’re all one big family.

This is a lot of info probably, but there is so much more in my document. I’m just paraphrasing what I wrote on their onto here so others can see. Illustrations are in order, but my best option is write the concepts and story all down. I would’ve made this a fanfic, but I’m not too confident in my writing skills. But this is close enough for now cause I do want to draw stuff like this out. Also! Pretty sure this is an obvious sign, yet this an AU that leans more on the kids or teens of UT with many others slowly becoming involved.

Edit: Oh, and thank you for the kind words on my artstyle! Very much appreciated :)

[loveregrown]

SHU FS2 CAME OUT. He looks balder than ever. I am not surprised nor entirely disappointed at his outfit being nothing to me, though it is a little saddening he’s following the same exact clothing trend he’s had in all his last cards. I like the unbloomed when it’s moving more but I like his little finger on head and his croissants naturally. Ugh, everytime I look at it, I strangely like it more. Why does this happen to me with cards! But also, why do the unbloomeds often eat up the bloomeds…?

The rose concept was already used on Hiyori you silly goose. Alas, they can share. But neither will be happy about it; he considered burning his shirt simply because Wataru said theirs matched.

I definitely like the fit more in 3DMV than in live2d, but it seems to often be the case with me so it’s only natural. But it doesn’t Always happen. Perhaps I was simply hating before. Or I am simply conditioning myself to it. The blue accents is very cute I love that shade so much. I like the coloured button-up a loooottttt & the red in the scr is so nice & I just I really like this outfit I do! & I like light colours so despite it being the same as his wedding tour 3⭐️ and his 4⭐️ in the wet Sena scout, it is pleasant nonetheless! It really is not awful, despite thinking he could have something far more unique, it was to be expected from how this round of feature scouts was going, where there seemed to be at most two categories of fashion, if not 3.

One thing I've been hating is the STUPID RANDOM STRIP OF FABRIC THEY KEEP GIVING THE 3DMV OUTFITS WHICH LIKE I GET BECAUSE IT'S PROBABLY BECAUSE THEY WANT TO DRAW THE EYES TO THE MOVEMENT OF IT A LOT OF THE OUTFITS SEEM DESIGNED WITH THIS PURPOSE BUT IT JUST LOOKS FUCKING STUPID SOMETIMES. LIKE. TOILET PAPER ROLL TUCKED INTO THEIR CLOTHES OR LIKE A STRANGE CURTAIN FOR THEIR ASS. OR SOMETHING. IT'S NOT RIGHT. But... well I suppose it works here. Especially since the cut of his suit is not at all a novelty but it's okay. But I was reminded of it seeing it in action in his spp... it is just nothing to me. The stupid piece of fabric I mean. it could be removed and I would not miss it. But I Understand It's Purpose therefore I do not despise it I just get find it silly.

What was the meaning of this. What’s wrong with you? Was there a need for roses on your flat arse. Embroidery on your behind. Though this sort of thing is awesome and cunty when done on like, jeans. And such.

He has a nice SCR… I like it a lot actually. SCRS aren’t always good & I never Purposefully get SCRS but it’s such a win to me when they are good because then I look at them & I smile. ☺️

Bwuh… I’m pretty sure Nito’s hair ribbon changes colour in scr to red too… maybe they both do… not okay. They look so, so good next to each other I should just die. I should just die.

It will never have the brilliance his FS1 holds, with it’s interesting silhouette which almost looks like a dress, and really fun boots, and the classic, stupid, gay, yet ever so fun Itsuki Shuu trademark hat on his head! But I am growing fonder of it the more I look at it. At least, everything ASIDE FROM THE BLOOMED. Which I don’t like. On the lower end of FS2s for me regarding bloomed illustration but points for everything else. You win this time despite objectively not being that good. I like the side of Shu it shows too. Even if his face looks stupid.

I don’t like his FS1 bloomed much specifically when it comes to his silly face & pose, but the outfit makes up for it. Do you notice how this is a pattern. But, either way, many parts of it are so dope, such as the spiral staircase, the dramatic element of the back of his outfit flaring up like that, the paintings on the wall and the chandelier. It’s all very grand. & if anyone deserves and should be expected to be grand, it is him. There’s a lot one can say about it really.

However, I like the lightness of his FS2. The romantic elements such as the shades used, the red roses, his ring. There’s a lot to be enjoyed here.

I haven’t looked at the full illustration for his FS2 yet but I am excited to witness it since often they coax me into liking the card more than when it is cropped/in actual card form. But his face in the bloomed, is stupid and gay. That is all. Otherwise, it’s Perce approved, all things considered. :-) but to be honest. It really does look like something you’d find at a mall. The outfit, I mean.

[mr-laveau]

Hi!

First of all, i wanna say i love your art and how every tiny little detail tells a huge story and resmble an important thing in your character

Second of all, how did you that?

I am now your little funky student that needs advice on making ocs more interesting

Oooooooh! Well first of all, welcome to class, my funky student! Secondly, the short and lame answer is:

I'm a character designer, it's my job to know how to do that.

The long answer tho...

In my approach to character design (of which, there are many approaches as this subject is individual-based so my way isn't the ONLY way), I tend to focus on a few things in my initial thought process:

What is this character's story? - What's their role in the plot? What's their personality? What's the setting of their story? What are the deets?

What is the medium in which people will be exposed to this character? - Will they see this character in a game? A comic? A dating sim? An animated show? Is this just a design to be posted? Depending on the medium, this will affect how you design the character, in terms of how that design will be conveyed as its used within the medium.

What do I visually associate this character with? - after understanding the character, what do I associate with this character's concept? What comes to mind when I think of them? Do they remind me of something/someone specifically? What's the connection?

What are icons/symbols represent the above associations and how can I incorporate that into my design? - This tends be very important for me because my style is heavily reliant on shapes and dynamic geometry so depending on that, I can squeeze shapes and symbols in to make the character more interesting and more recognizable to people who view those symbols.

Are there any extra details I wanna squeeze and would they make sense with the narrative? - This question is as basic as follows so ask yourself, is there anything I wanna input to make it fun? If so, what is it and how will it make sense?

Has this already been done? - I've been more keen of this question as I've spent more time in the redacted fandom because the base fact is, everyone has drawn a listener and if I wanna be seen, I gotta be able to stand out. In your case, does your character stand out amidst the rest? If so, cool! If not, then depending on your intention with that design, you may wanna revise your design and see how you can freshen it up in a different way with what you've already thought up.

To more properly explain my process, I'll use my poly redacted OC, Carter Wilde • Casanova, since I think it has a very strong design I can use to explain this process!

What is Carter's story? Carter is a character based on the listener traits of Smartass and Non-canon Freelancer in Lasko's BAs. He's a a telepath and a teacher at DAMN who acts as the main character in his own story to resolve the issues in DAMN from the perspective of a new teacher! He's a fiery soul with unorthodox methods that get his lessons across and a bratty streak around Aaron and Lasko.

What's the medium in which people will be seeing Carter? People will mostly be seeing Carter through illustration which allows me to get creative with how I want to present him but in my usual designs, I will often design them in mind to be a part of an animated show or a dating simulator. For Carter, he's designed in mind to be conveyed in a Visual Novel, hence why he's designed from the waist-up and is designed to be conventionally attractive.

What do I visually associate this character with? Carter is based on my writer username, the Bratty Telepath, and shares a last name with Oscar Wilde, an Irish poet/playwright. As such, I associate him with stuff like the mind, the brain, writing, the rebel genius aesthetic, punk culture and queer iconography!

What are some symbols and icons that represent the associations I've listed above? Some elements in Carter's design are based on punctuation marks!* His hair puff is dyed pink and resembles a brain, his nails are painted in both the colours of the pan flag and the recent poly flag, his tie is loosened, suggesting that he may have a more relaxed form than other teachers, he wears a choker which according to BDSM is indicative of him possibly being a sub, his entire outfit suggests he may not be an average teacher. *His tie and one of his earrings = exclamation mark, his hair tie and his other earring = comma/semi-colon, his bindi (on his forehead) and the buttons on his gloves = periods. Additionally, his nails are painted in CMYK which is a colour model used in printers.

Are there any extra details I wanna squeeze and would they make sense with the narrative? The bindi was also a last minute decision for me actually but worked out because Carter is desi and raised closer to his Indian culture and the bindi is believed to be representative of the third eye which also adds to the fact that Carter's a Telepath.

Has this already been done? Not to my knowledge...in this fandom, so I think I'm pretty good on this end.

I hope that gave you an idea of what I was talking about! I love pulling together stuff like this cuz it's really fun pushing things together and forming something seemingly simple but intricate! Hope that helped!

[tgenvs3000w23]

Teaching Learners

When I think of who I want to be as an interpreter, I think about my experiences on the receiving end of interpretation as the audience. Who made me think, and who made me laugh and engage with their talks, who inspired me?

One of the most influential interpreters in my experience has been someone that refers to themselves as a science translator. I think this is a really cool title because she focuses on making the big science words, themes, and concepts, digestible for all audiences. Bryna Belisle is the director and owner of Monteverde Butterfly Gardens in Costa Rica, but she does more than just talk butterflies! When I watched one of her presentations she wanted to illustrate that even bugs and insects with a not-so-pretty reputation were just as loveable and deserved more appreciation. She talked about cockroaches and her love for them, telling us cool facts about them as she let one crawl all over her arms. Then, as she's talking about how they're not as dirty as everyone thinks and letting the cockroach crawl across her face, giving it some smooches, she then pops it into her mouth! You can see her do this in her Instagram post below that I've linked where she shares her love for these creatures.

Now I'm not saying as an interpreter this is how I plan to approach all of my work, but there's definitely a few things to learn from Bryna's methods because it sure was memorable and effective at communicating her message! Bryna demonstrates key skills that make an effective interpreter: passion, enthusiasm, and storytelling are critical in getting messages across to an audience.

If I could pick and choose different aspects from all of my experiences as an interpreter, it would look a little something like this:

Once I got my first job in something more related to my field and major of wildlife biology and conservation, there was no going back. I cannot picture myself in a world working a 9-5 job for 30 years before retiring and then finally 'living'. I want to keep learning about what's around me, and the more I learn the more I realize there's so much to keep discovering (hence continuous learning)! I want to continue growing and fostering my own appreciation so that I can inspire others. I want to be outside and see cool wildlife and witness amazing landscapes that even photographs can't capture the complete beauty of. I want to share my own passion and enthusiasm that Bryna does every day at Monteverde!

Above is one of my favourite photos of myself from my time volunteering with Wild Ontario, and really captures my ideal role as an environmental interpreter. Here I am handling Sibley, a non-releasable red-tailed hawk with the program. Not only was this a valuable experience for Sibley who was working hard at her job as a species ambassador, but also for me because I was able to speak with so many people and have many deep, profound conversations. I was really proud of Sibley for handling the many stresses of a hot day with lots of people around, and I was proud of myself because I felt like I made an impact on a lot of people who talked with us, and that's all I could have asked for!

References

Belisle, Bryna. “I <3 🪳 Here Is the Proof Put Your Roach Related Questions in the Comments and I’ll Answer!” Instagram, 14 Apr. 2022, www.instagram.com/reel/CccQKADAvtY/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link. Accessed 20 Jan. 2023.

[leaping-laelaps-art]

Just wanted to say that your art, especially the 3D models, are just absolutely, unironically great to me. I love how there is obviously so much care and knowledge put into it and now really need to see whether I can get access to those papers so I can read more about the cool sponges and the Emu Bay Shale and just the lime stone pebble, even if I don't understand all of it. It might sound weird because I can't describe why, but your art is really exciting in the "science can be so much fun" way. You obviously know what you're doing in both regards and get together the Looks amazing and Communicates how interesting it is. I know I discovered this blog like yesterday but I can't stop coming back to it. Looking forward to whatever you're going to do in the future and wish you all the best!

Thank you so much for your kind words! There really is no greater compliment to me than being told that my art conveys my love and excitement for paleontology in a way that is both informative and visually pleasing!

My illustrations are usually strongly influenced by my research work (since I'm apparently part of this masochistic breed that does want to work in academia). In fact, most of my inspiration comes when reading a paper and thinking "isn't that neat?". Paleoart is such an efficient medium for communicating paleontological ideas to all audiences (experts and general public alike), and that's the way I approach all my pieces - a kind of graphical abstract, if you will. I'm glad the message comes across!

In addition to this mostly didactic concept of paleoart, I also love making it because the reconstruction process forces to ask certain questions in order to fill visual gaps (from mundane things like coloration, to more significant elements like missing anatomy or life environment) and pushes to study many different aspects of the fossils (e.g., phylogenetic affinities, functional morphology, taphonomy, sedimentology, etc.). I always learn a lot from this exploration, and some of the questions may not have ever been seriously asked before, which can lead to some pretty interesting (and fun) reflections (does anyone have any idea what colors would be most likely for an archaeocyath?).

In any case, I'm so happy you seem to be as excited about looking at my art as I am about making it! More is certainly coming, and now that I have a bit of time I hope to be able to make some more often.

A last note regarding papers: if you (or anyone) would like to read a paper I cited but cannot access it, just send me a DM and I'll be happy to share the pdf with you if I can!

[tempural]

would you be willing to post some info ab your art process? like how you developed your style n got good at art ? maybe some comparisons? its kewl if ye dont wanna share, i totally get dat. i was just wondering bc somtimes i dont see any improvment in my art at all and i start freaking out

Hmm I have some literal art process in the #process tag on my blog. That'll show some stuff from sketch, to inks, to whatever finish I decide. Maybe that'll help illustrate some concepts?

I never consciously developed my style. A lot of how I choose to draw is because I have ADHD. So I draw really fast, I do not clean up my pencils, I use my sketches as finished linework, and I don't like to spend more than 2 hours on a drawing. I cannot do large illustrations, and will leave that to painters and other people with working brains.

What does "improvement" means to you? For some people, that means an academic/technical/western-culture-centric improvement on anatomy, perspective and life-like depictions. Why do you want to "improve"?

For me personally, I draw in a style that makes me happiest, so I don't consciously care about anatomy or perspective, just whatever gives me endorphins while putting pen to paper. I believe the most natural way to develop a ~style~ is just draw what you like. I've been drawing for a LONG time, since I was in preschool (time spent is such a huge factor in ~improvement~ and art), so I think I've learned to draw mostly from attrition and trying to copy things I like (superhero cartoons, sailor moon, cool creatures from movies).

Get good at figuring out what you like about the things you like! That'll usually develop your brain's visual library and sense of stylization. I like how long Sailor Moon's legs are, and I like how big the boobs are in superhero cartoons... so there you get my art.

Left is current art, right is middle/high school art of similar subjects. I don't think my art style lends itself to HUGE VISUAL IMPROVEMENTS cuz I don't do colors or painting or enviroments. But I can draw and think faster, and that's improvement for me.

[fleet-off]

Fic asks! 14, 27. 💖

Jak! Hi, beloved, and thanks for dropping by!

14. If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick?

So obviously I would go bonkers over any kind of illustration for my works (pointing once again to Dav's art for A Close Shave, which I am continually reeling over), but this is kinda tough because not much...happens in my fics, per se. 😅 I go for quiet moments with high internal stakes--"Pete lies wrapped in a sheet for several hours and thinks about death" is not visually compelling!

That said, I think one of the things Lapping at the Edges does well is pairing movement and intent in a more visual way than most of my work? There's that image of a sleep-ruffled Pete smoothing his hand down the front of Vegas's stained jacket to make sure he's not injured while Vegas is miserably wine-flushed and raring to get punched in the face--that one has stuck with me.

I've also been working on that fic where Pete's a spaceship (working title Breathing Space) and it's set to be much more dynamic/visually oriented, which has been fun to experiment with!

27. Is there a fic you were nervous to post/share? Why?

Bold of you to assume I don't live in a constant state of nervousness about every single fic I write. 😎

So won't give up these ghosts feels very personal for me. Most of my writing is about learning to live and love in the aftermath, which is itself a vulnerable place to write from, but I think ghosts taps into a lot of my own deeper fears and consolations around...hiding, grief, suicide, healthy death acceptance vs having a passive death wish, nonexistence as comfort, and then the journey past that place and the terrible, wonderful desire to live.

Baring all that is nerve-wracking. Also, the story concept is pretty fucking weird. Pete's a weird guy, but. Holy shit???

I worried a lot about how it would be received. I figured the concept would be off-putting to a lot of folks--I didn't know if anyone would get something worthwhile from it. I definitely braced for it to flop.

Ultimately, I'm happy I put it out there. Folks did get something worthwhile from it, be that catharsis or enjoyment or just a non-frightening interaction with death. I feel lucky to have connected with people that way. :)

In addition, and on a lighter note: it is my firm belief that the details of Vegas and Pete's intimacy should be off-putting to everybody except them. Not in a kink-negative or horror-show way, more just, "oh so this is what you guys do instead of therapy huh. the psychological tangle is truly impenetrable." I am thrilled to have contributed to that agenda!

Ask me about my fic-writing!

[nokingsonlyfooles]

My Own, Personal Art Week: Here's Ann!

Ann's tarot card! Part of a series! More description and various notes under the cut!

Ann would say, "When the flashbulbs start going off, there's bound to be broken glass, so always wear a good pair of shoes, dear!"

I'm licensing everything Tin Soldier/Soldier On under creative commons, NC-BY-SA. So take! Share! Just give credit, add value, and don't sell it!

Ann and Milo are two people sharing a body, their concept has gone through a lot of evolution, and sometimes they come off a bit problematic. For which I apologize!

At the beginning, I saw them as an opportunity to play with gender and superhero tropes and that's all, but they've been picking up intersections like a goddamn Katamari as I write, and I can only do so much. Part of this is because I based Milo's social issues on my own, and I've been finding out more and more about what my deal is since I started writing Tin Soldier. For example, "Shit, I don't care about gendered clothes because I'm nonbinary, don't I? Aw, damn it." Then I gotta open some documents and make edits - but never that many. I know what my deal is, I just have to update how I talk about it.

I also know how annoying it is to see your real-life human condition portrayed as something magical or mystical in nature. (I've seen the book and the movie iterations of Duddits, and I'm not a fan.) The Calvin-and-Hobbes-like ambiguity of Ann's nature may be a bit frustrating, but I don't want to box her up as 100% dissociated identity. I want to make people think about what makes a person a Real Person - if I give a definite answer on what's going on, they'll evaluate her on that basis and stop thinking! (Besides, I've never been 100% accurate on what's going on with them in the first place!)

Milo is definitely 100% autistic, though! And Ann is his mask. Instead of managing all that scary social stuff himself, he outsourced it. "Math is easy," Ann would say, "so let's go shopping!" (Shopping is indeed a social and logistical nightmare, if you're doing it right.) She's a born performer - literally - so it's only natural she has a job in entertainment, just not quite at that level of fame. I added the flashbulb pieces for this version of her card, the original doesn't have them...

...but it just makes sense. With good shoes, that sort of thing is no bother.

It's hard to tell on Tumblr, but the original format is wider. I decided to make my tarot cards tarot-card shaped. If I ever finish all of them, I might get them printed. (However, the Major Arcana reversals all have their own illustrations, so it would be a very large or very odd deck.) Narrower, simplified format means I lost the treble clef and time signature! Just couldn't fit it in there in a way that looked good. Not too important, but I liked that the song was in 4/4 time.

There are eight, eight-pointed "stars," like in Rider-Waite's The Star. Not sure of the ultimate significance there (17 does reduce to 8 in numerology), but I like the look. As far as fire and water go, Ann and Milo have both (a water vase and flashbulbs for Ann, rain and lightning for Milo), which means they've lost some things, and burned some things down too. Ann isn't pouring her water out, but she's about to lose it because she's not paying attention. She might catch herself, she's good at that, but if she doesn't, it's no big deal. No point crying over spilled symbolic imagery!

I hid some little lightning bolts in with the glass. Milo's card has a BIG lightning bolt (or it will, when I get done with the redraw) and it's scaring the hell out of him. Ann knows how to take things like that in stride.

The design is a compromise between my upright cards and my reversals, since Ann is both. Reversals are usually on a black background with some significant song lyrics, and uprights have that old paper background. She gets a little of each. And she's got the music on her card, but Milo's got the words - which, in his case, are not lyrical at all, but you'll see when I get to him.

She doesn't have two bowls like that other Star, but that vase she's carrying has two handles to help hold it! Make of it what you will. (Milo would say one of those handles is broken and can't hold a damn thing, but Ann knows he wrong about that.)

And Ann's card has an original crappy version - which I shall now share with you for being a good reader and sticking with me for the whole post.

And if you got hit with this post on random and you're curious, Tin Soldier and Soldier On are a long, serialized story I'm writing, and you can read all of Tin Soldier for free right now! (You may also read some of Soldier On for free right now, it's just on hiatus while I do art and various other stuff.) See you there!

[curedigiqueen]

How Digimon Universe Invokes Myth

I had a horrible, horrible epiphany about Appmon that I am compelled to share.

So, as I was writing my Appmon analysis thoughts, considering how Appmons main thesis of using kindness to fight the singularity and how that stands in antithesis to the self-fulfilling prophecies so common in myth where going out of your way to fight something is what makes it come to pass in the first place. The most notable example to me was the Greek Myth where Uranus was overthrown by his children who he prevented from being born, hurting their mother Gaia in the process. In turn his son, Cronus, was overthrown by his children whom he ate, and his son Zeus, who was prophesied to be overthrown by his son, consumed his child’s mother before he could conceive the child of his doom. And the God Grades were named after Greek gods this season. In my head this was a sort of side note. A cool little detail. Not that this is exclusive to myth (hey Kung Fu Panda II) or anything. But myths are the foundation of human storytelling. Even today it’s something that gets used quite a lot. Because it's such a terrible, human concept. Using violence out of fear against people motivates them to want to use violence against you.

Now if you want a recap of what I said somewhere else that I don’t care to look for, Appmon argues against it, basically Appmon is a battle between Denemon’s children. While one of his children goes rogue and kills him, fulfilling the prophecy of the singularity. He does not overthrow humanity because ultimately through the kindness he (and Haru) showed, Minerva (and Yuujin and the Appmon), remained loyal to humanity. Even though Appmon grew strong enough to overthrow humanity, they didn’t. Now I have an additional thought, that being Uranus, while defeated, still exists as the sky. Just like Denemon, though killed still exists. Does that mean anything? I don’t know.

Then I was thinking about how Digimon does gender in all its different seasons. And how Appmon was the most baffling. Because okay. Digimon aren’t consistent and they can have gender sometimes. But those are usually in the series where digimon aren’t man-created AI. So what the heck Appmon. Why do you have gender? And your appmon have parents? Parents have only been used for digimon in Xros (the season infamous for implying digimon sex), and Frontier, where digimon very much so had gender, but also were born from reincarnating eggs whose gender did not seem set in stone. Both seasons, which took the more “Digimon are naturally existing fantasy monsters” rather than “Digimon are AI monsters born from human influence” approaches. Are they AI born from humans? You can’t give me two completely conflicting stories about Appmon’s existence. 

Or can you?

So I’ve taken a few classes on myth and religion through the years. And unfortunately due to reasons I have mythology fresh on the brain. But the idea that myth contains conflicting stories about things is one that was discussed. Myths generally weren’t told as one continuous story of truths. They were told as independent stories. While they were regarded as truths, you weren’t supposed to think deeply about the discrepancies because these are stories of the divine. Beyond perfect human understanding. The individual stories each said something about the society. Each story held its own truth, relying on a consistent cast of characters. An example is how there are two, semi-conflicting stories of the creation of man in Genesis. This results from the fact that at one point these were two separate stories, each meant to illustrate a point about the world. It was only after they were gathered and codified did we consider them part of one story.

But this also got me to remember what gods are. They are divine representations of things. For instance it is not that Gaia represents the earth or governs it. It is that Gaia is the earth. Hades is also the name for the underworld. Gatchmon is a search app. Appmon are to Gods, the way Apps are to natural phenomenon. Appmon are modern gods. Now this isn’t the first time Digimon tipped its toes into myth. It has digimon who are representatives of all sorts of preexisting myths. But they don’t enact these myths. Perhaps they will be referenced as having godlike influence in their reference books, but they will not be worshiped like gods in the texts (anime, Manga, games) themselves. They invoke these myths, but they are not myths themselves.

The apps are personified in the way the gods are personified. Gatchmon is like a human comprehension of the search engine. Search engines exist, finding and sorting knowledge in ways that are beyond the average human comprehension. Search engine giving irrelevant knowledge? Gatchmon messing with you. Search engine giving you the perfect search result. Gatchmon. Music app algorithm playing songs you hate? Musimon. Music app playing the exact song you were in the mood for? Musimon. Phone randomly reboots… Rebootmon. In the same way the gods of myth toyed with human lives, causing them pain and suffering. Disease, love and fertility were all products of the gods. Appmon toy with humans in the same way. People earn the favor of the AI the same way the Greeks earned the favor of the Gods. Through sacrifice. In this case the sacrifice of their personal data.

So how can apps have parents? And go to school? And have genders? The same way that God’s have gender, have affairs and have parents. The way. Appmon live an existence beyond human comprehension and beyond the human flow of time. Appmon go to school for the same reason that there are myths of the gods cheating, and fighting and stealing among each other getting into petty grudges. App Fusion charts is like the genealogy of the gods. But for the Apps. It is the way that some Apps use other Apps to improve their functions. The way search apps will reference locations or the weather if you ask it to look those things up. The way Apps relate to each other, communicating using AI that builds upon each other. We wouldn’t have video calls if it weren’t for camera apps or phone calls already existing. The stories of the Appmon going to school, or having parents is the representative explanation for why things are the way they are. This app was never released? It failed app school. This App references these two? Those two Apps are its parents. Some Apps come into existence fully formed. Some do have parents. SOME APPS ARE BOTH, THE TRUTH NOT UNDERSTOOD BY MORTAL MEANS AND ONLY RELEVANT TO THE STORY THAT IS BEING TOLD. APPMON ARE MERELY OUR COMPREHENSION OF THE FORCES THAT GOVERN OUR LIVES.

 So now having established that, Appmon is a modern myth. A story of what’s to come, and the characters, the Apps, that rule our modern lives. Digimon Universe is the Ragnarok, the Book of Revelations of our modern age. Obviously it is not a true myth. It’s a children’s show. But it invokes the patterns of myth so I’m calling it as I see it.

[runnning-outof-time]

Hi K, for the Fanfic Writers Friday, I was hoping you'd give us some headcanons about Jack and Gina. What are your thoughts about this crazy family?

Hi Lee! 🥰❤️ Thanks for sending this in! I had to think a bit about your question, but here goes.....

(I put it under a ‘read more’ line cuz it got pretty long haha)

So first off, that family is most certainly crazy, and ruthless, and I picture them not stopping at anything until they got what they wanted.

There’s very few things that I think are considered off-limits for them and I think above all, they’re just really shady (maybe it’s because I’m from America and I’ve seen my share of shady American families haha).

And I think what makes them different from the Changrettas (who were in a way American) is the strong view that is placed on family. The family is big with the Italians (we see it with the whole plot surrounding the black hand ... but my mind goes immediately to The Sopranos and how high they hold the concept of the family) ... The Nelsons, on the other hand, I think would serve up a family member if it would help for their gain (and Gina is case and point).

Like idk if it was intentional, or if they just couldn’t quite mesh together, but there was absolutely no chemistry between Michael and Gina in either of the seasons...and that makes me think that Gina was forced into pursuing Michael because her family saw it as a good move and a way to get at the Shelby family.

And as far as who holds the power goes...we haven’t really met any of the other Nelsons, but I think that Jack has a really high standing in the family. It’s touched upon in passing during that scene in the bath house with Billy Grade (which had me dying lmao) that Jack used to be on the streets doing the dirty work and that he misses it now...which makes me think that he’s more in a shot-calling position now.

So yeah.....I think that if the Nelsons and the Shelbys (or more directly Jack and Tommy) ever faced off, I have no doubt that the Nelsons would come out on top. I feel like they operate on another, higher level as a whole and that the attempts that were made towards the Shelbys were pathetic and most definitely just SK playing out his ‘Tommy is a god who cannot be beaten’ complex that he illustrates throughout the show.

Jack scares me, and not in a fear/‘ahh this is scary’ way, but in a powerholding/chilling way, if that makes sense....like he makes it obvious that he’s done some terrible things in the past (and he does it with that signature grin) and that he’s not going to let anything stop him from getting what he wants.

Welp....idk if those are considered to be headcannons...and idk if they even makes sense because I haven’t read them through for fear of deciding to delete everything....but there are my thoughts. I’ll leave it with an overarching opinion: the Nelsons are not a family to be messed with.

———

Send your fellow fanfic writer some questions!

[sspedrocalungsodandpiergiorgio]

The AforePromised Biracial Rant

I was explaining something of my lived experiences this past weekend to a friend, and to do so I used the Bolivian philosopher Rivera Cusicanqui's concept of ch'ixi from her article "Ch'ixinakax utxiwa", which she uses to describe the mestiza lived experience, where somethine(or one) is composed of two opposites combined that retain their original identities, yet still produce a new third thing, like a heathered gray farbic made from black and white thread.

Anyway, I resonate deeply with this concept, as I have always felt like an unsatisfactory third thing amongst groups of people I am in. (Ch'ixi does not carry a conotation of being unsatisfactory). To illustrate this, I brought up being mixed-race. I thought it would be the easiest to understand example, and it is the way Rivera Cusicanqui mainly applies it herself.

I explained that I am almost always mistreated racially by those who find out I am mixed, reagardless of the other's race. Until this year, I had not experienced non-family members treating the racial aspect of myself well.

Most everyone tells me I am not mixed enough to count as mixed. White people then continue from that point to bringing up an increased amount of specifically anti-Asian sentiments in my presence. POC quiz me to see if I actually count, then make jokes about how I count honorarily. Other mixed people are the only ones who have specifically told me "They hate people like me." They say the quiet part out loud.

After describing this to my friend, she then asked "But is that only a few people, and you're making it a bigger deal then it is?" I wrapped up what I had been saying fairly quickly after that. I was shocked and disappointed. My initial response to someone sharing their lived experience is belief until proven otherwise; an oft-repeated phrase in the circles I'm in is that you should share your testimony because you can't deny the facts of someone's life. I guess I learned then that you can.

Of course not everyone is as forward with how they view me, but I've learned the signs- the subtle side looks, the false smiles, the uptick in tone. And of course not everyone is out to get me; I don't believe that and never have. But, it's alright to realize that this aspect of myself is often received unwell.

I guess I'm just confused why she would, instead of responding with empathy and compassion, respond with incredulity and dismissal. Why could I not be met with even curiosity?

I refuse to molehill my mountains, and I refuse to hide who I am for others' convenience. I am too good and have too much too offer. I can be of service and love others by being myself. And that I will do.

But I am still befuddled and counfounded by those who seem to discount racial or other contentious topics from being actual issues when they come from the "wrong" people.

This is the begining of some essay I'll probably write at some point-everything is. I don't know what coems forth from this, but whatever gushes out will be here. I obviously use Tumblr as a personal-impersonal diary. It's easier to write knowing it will be seen. I think I'll stop tagging my more personal posts probably- these are just for you guys.

I have many, many thoughts about race, and I don't know if I can outrun them, so I'll be on here again and again. Thanks for reading.