#just because it mostly consists of two stitches

[kaiserin-erzsebet]

I am once again going to complain about a hyperspecific online thing that annoys me:

it seems like at least with crochet patterns and tutorials -which is what I actually use so I can't speak for knitting- there is a tendency to call a really wide variety of things "beginner friendly" to the point where I think it might be misleading. The only pattern I've come across recently that said outright that it's "probably not for beginners" involved crocheting cables in the round, which is difficult for a number of reasons.

On one hand, I understand the desire to make crafting more approachable and less intimidating. More people being interested in fiber crafts is a net positive.

On the other, I think it starts underselling the idea that building up techniques that you've learned is something that happens over time. Learning the stitches takes time. Learning how to work in the round or shape garments is a step up in skill level. Counting and following charts is a bit more complicated than being at a beginner level.

I think on a basic level, if the tutorial does not walk through how to do a double or treble or a slip stitch and just assumes the person reading already knows, it is probably trying to talk to people with some experience already.

And that's ok! It's ok to start with a scarf or a small blanket that is one or two stitches without anything fancy. And it is a way to build skills like anything else. There's nothing wrong with being new to a craft and not doing something complicated to start.

I suppose the succinct version of my complaint is this: At what point does labeling many things as beginner-friendly go from something that makes crafting more approachable to something that will frustrate someone just starting out because they have to pick up a lot of skills at once to complete a cool pattern.

[sycamoretrees]

G1 34 block matches cross stitch complete! A Block in reds/yellows and B Block in blues/greens.

Each wrestler is represented by a colour in the outer strips (I used the same order that NJPW did on its results cards), and then where two colours/wrestlers would intersect I recorded their match result, with the winner's colour taking up 3/4 of the square.

(more info and photos under the cut)

I was inspired by my good pal @benchwarming who started this beautiful cross stitch project tracking race results over the F1 season. Wrestling mostly doesn't have the same kind of consistent data points/formats, so I'm glad the G1 allowed me to join in on her very cool idea!

I used FlossCross to mock up the overall design. Because it's just a bunch of evenly-spaced squares I didn't really need a 'pattern', so I made this spreadsheet to track the results (I printed out a physical copy and highlighted the winner as match results came in):

Here's the NJPW results card for A Block as comparison - my piece is essentially just the outlined half of their format (which ngl I find very hard to parse)(not that mine isn't also)(I think this is just a hard dataset to represent) without the duplicate results on the top right.

Back view:

Mostly tried not to travel further than a square or two, and used a combination of loop starts, pin stitch finishes for some of the single stitches, and weaving in ends.

[humanityinahandbag]

Steddie Modern AU: TikTok

Steve would absolutely be that guy who would not understand TikTok. He and Eddie are older by the time it comes out, and most of the content there is of young kids going completely buck wild. Steve of course disapproves, hands on his hips, huffing about no supervision these days even though he was absolutely a terror in high school.

Eddie, rock star that he is, gets it to an extent. "They're expressing themselves!" he'd say.

Steve would only shake his phone around and point aggressively to a video playing on loop of a young man dancing along to some new trendy song, trying his hardest to seem cool and popular. "This isn't expression," he'd say, mother hen voice at top volume. "This is them trying to peacock to the world!"

"You did that once, too, Stevie."

"Yeah, and I was a little shit!"

And so Steve, in an effort to curb the young teenage population and keep them from making his mistakes (mostly due to parental neglect and hopeless, crushing self deprivation), would start his own TikTok channel.

"Hey there," he says into the camera, because for all the pride around his good looks, he has zero clue how to record a video of himself. "My names Steve, and I've been noticing a bunch of you on here who are out of control! Listen to me, alright? You need to dial it back. All that shit in high school is completely null and void when you're an adult. Trust me. From a former popular asshole, there's better shit you could be doing. Now let me show you how to scramble an egg."

His videos mostly consist of simple lessons. Giving out little pieces of advice. Teaching them basic life skills he had to learn on his own. How to cook. How to clean. How to iron a polo shirt. How to style your hair. How to do laundry. How to do basic first aid.

He often becomes transparent, telling them about his own childhood.

Sometimes he brings Eddie into his videos.

"This is my husband's favorite," he says, by way of explanation as he shows TikTok how to make pasta sauce from scratch. "He used to eat spaghetti out of a can. A fucking can!"

Despite his posturing on stage, Eddie becomes shy whenever a camera is in his face, and ducks his head away, smiling quietly towards the camera. "It's not that bad," he says.

"Not that- The sodium in that could kill an elephant!" Steve laughs.

"Yeah, well... I don't want you doing too much for me."

"I like doing things for you."

Eddie flushes and ducks his head, hiding his face away behind a curtain of curls.

Steve leans over a kisses his temple, pushing him gently out of frame where he'll be more comfortable, before turning back to the camera. "Anyway, this recipe is great if you're on your own for long periods of time. Especially because you can freeze some for later. Now the trick here is garlic. Let me show you how to peel it without making a huge mess!"

It's a month later where Dustin shows up at their door and shoves his phone into Steve's face. "Why the fuck," he'd snap, "are you trending?"

It turns out, the tiny community that Steve had been lecturing to wasn't as small as he originally thought.

There are so many kids out there desperate for parental affection, and they look to Steve, feeding off his pride, his kindness, his stories, his advice. Not only that but the fact that they get to see a former bully, a former popular kid, a man who grew up from neglect, become someone happy and married?

That's just... so wonderful.

"I've been on TikTok from the beginning and I only have, like, two thousand followers."

"So what? I don't have that many."

"You've got three million, Steve," said Dustin. Steve was not expecting that, squinting at the phone screen in his face. "Three fucking million! People are stitching your videos saying you guys are their new dads," Dustin squawked. "How did you not know you were this popular!?"

"I didn't know how to check my follower count!" Steve said, sincerely. It wasn't like he actually checked the thing! He just enjoyed making videos.

"You're so old."

"Hey," said Eddie from the kitchen, "don't talk about your mother that way."

"Yeah!" agreed Steve. "Don't talk to me that way! Now get into my next video so I can introduce you to your three million siblings."

And that is why I firmly believe that, if given the chance, Steve (and subsequently, Eddie) would absolutely become the internet's favorite parental figure(s).

[rampantram]

I've been saving this but I can't take it anymore... your art is super cool!! I love the drawing style you have, especially the lines and expressions. Also the dynamic poses and interactions between characters, everything looks so cute but at the same time exciting to keep watching!! I would read a whole manga with your art in it :3

Curious question: what size are your drawings normally? I see that you draw in pencil and many times there is more than one drawing on a single canvas/sheet so I am curious to know approximately the size of your drawings

I hope you don’t mind me using your ask to say this, but…you guys have no idea how much your kindness and positivity has affected me since I started posting my CotL stuff.

I’ve had anxiety since I was a kid, and depression for almost a decade now, and most recently been diagnosed with ADHD and OCD. I’ve had the most lows in my life over the past few years, and my consistency and drive to draw has suffered for it; at most, I’ve posted every other week, but mostly once every couple of months, and even longer than that until now. Being on medication has affected my motivation to draw, and I’ve been on short-term disability for over a month now, trying out new medications and feeling mostly miserable from the side effects.

Despite all that, I’ve wanted truly to finally be consistent with art, interact with people, try new things, and it’s helped so much to have so many people loving the things I’ve come up with. I haven’t been as consistent this last week, and spotty some weeks before that, but you’ve all been so patient despite that, which is part of the reason I want to give you some transparency and vulnerability on my part.

So I apologize if things continue to be a little less than organized or consistent, but I’m going to keep trying my best everyday, because I want to keep bringing you things you enjoy and want to interact with, so…thank you. 🥹

But getting to your question before I really start to tear up…this 9x12 sketchbook by Strathmore (specifically the recycled paper) is what I’ve been using for my sketches for a long while:

And it typically depends on how big or small I think each of the drawings should be, but I do try to keep them on one page if I can just for organizations’s sake.

Also if I know I need to post it from my phone, I try to make things easier for myself by putting things within proximity of each other with my phone’s camera in mind (not the whole page because it’ll be blurry, up and down since that’s easier for me to take a shot with, and so on).

If I’m gonna scan it, that makes things a bit easier, but I do try to condense them enough so I can try and avoid doing two scans of the same page and having to stitch them together (this one below just ended up taking the whole page, and since most scanners - my roommate’s included - usually only scan Letter or A4 size areas, those I end up having to scan on multiple parts and edit them together in Clip Studio Paint).

But of course, it all comes down to what feels right or works with your own method the best (as long as you achieve the outcome you wanted, the tools and method to get there don’t necessarily have to be the “best” or “right” way to do it).

I hope this helps, though, and that you have a brilliant day~✨

[paintyoureyeswithavividmind]

close to home | chapter seventy three

close to home | chapter seventy three

plot: winter passes and the reader hits her ninth month of pregnancy

series masterlist

Pairing: Eventual Daryl Dixon x f!reader Word Count: 3,087 Warnings: violence, blood, typical twd, childbirth A/N: I have no excuse for the late update 😔

An hour later, you were stitched up and on a nice dose of pain medication that left your body numb but mind mostly clear. Michonne had gone out to tell everyone the good news, and Rosita sat beside you. 

“I’m proud of you, babe.” She smiled down at you. 

You reached for her hand. “It’ll be your turn next. Thank you for being here with me.”

“You’ll be able to repay me soon.” Rosita said with a wink. 

You smiled at your friend and squeezed her hand. You glanced toward the back of the room, where Siddiq was doing all the tests he’d read about. Daryl stood next to him, and you could read his body language like a book. He was on guard. Of course, he was. You were drugged up, and protecting you and the baby was his sole job right now. 

“I’m gonna let you two have some time; you want me to bring a change of clothes later?” 

Rosita was gone after you nodded, and then finally Daryl was carrying the baby over to you. He handed her to you and then helped you sit up, so he could sit behind you. Siddiq and Dante had made themselves scarce, and it was finally just your new family.

When your back was against his chest and his arms around both of you protectively, you let out a long sigh. 

“Ya gonna tell me the name ya had picked out for months?” 

You smiled and looked down at the baby girl, who looked up at you with wide, bright blue eyes like her fathers. She had been wiped clean, and she was absolutely breathtaking. 

“Josephine,” You said, gently rocking the baby. “After my grandma who cared for me and my sisters when we were little. I was thinking Josie for short.”

Daryl kissed the back of your head. “I like it.” He kissed you three more times, and his arms squeezed your side. “Was thinkin’... maybe Beth for a middle name.”

“I love it.” You smiled down at the baby.

“How are ya feelin?”

“Good. Drugged. But good.” You said, leaning your head back. “I’m tired.”

“Ya did a real good job. Never been more proud of ya.”

***

An hour later, and with no chance to nap, you had Daryl let everyone come meet the baby. There was no use pushing it off because you knew they’d be out there until the morning if you didn’t let them in now. So soon, the room filled with your family, and you looked around with tears. 

Michonne was the first who held her new niece and Godchild, and you could see her consistently wiping away tear after tear. Then Aaron held her and gave Daryl a look that made your heart ache lovingly. You knew Daryl thought the world of his closest friend, even if he never said anything about it. 

It was an energy you hadn’t felt in a long time. The happiness and love come from everyone. The congratulations and jokes, the laughs. 

But this was different. This was a family coming together and the single happiest moment of your life. 

“What’s her name?” Gabriel asked when it was her turn. 

“Josie,” Daryl said, and you heard a proudness in his voice you’d never heard before. The proudness of a father. 

“She’s beautiful,” Gabriel smiled widely and nodded at you. “Congratulations.”

It took an hour for everyone to clear out--and you had to promise both RJ and Judith they could hold the baby once you were home. But finally, it was you, Daryl, Josie, and Siddiq. He wanted to give you a once-over before he would retire for the night. 

Once you were cleared and everything looked ‘textbook picture perfect,’ he bid the three of you goodnight.

You looked over at Daryl, who was holding the baby. She looked so tiny in his arms. And the look on his face made you wish you had a camera. 

“I should probably try and feed her.” You said. 

“Huh? Oh, right.” Daryl was too engrossed with his daughter, and it made you smile again. He came over to you and handed you Josie. 

“I think she has your eyes,” You said, getting ready to try to breastfeed. “They are like the ocean. Same as you.”

Daryl came to sit behind you again and helped hold up your shirt. “Much prettier than me,”

“Well, no arguing there, old man.” You teased. “Now hold on, I gotta focus on trying to feed her. 

***

The next morning, you and Daryl brought Josie home. There were casseroles from everyone in the community waiting for you, enough to feed the whole house for weeks. And there were homemade cards from all the kids. 

And Judith was waiting on the couch, ready to hold the baby. 

“You gotta watch her head, okay?” You said nervously to the ten-year-old. You had her arm propped up on a pillow, so there wasn’t any room for error, and you’d be right next to her. 

“I got it,” Judith smiled. “She’s my new cousin.” 

Daryl was a little bit antsy, ready to jump in if something happened. But Judith was comfortable, and she held Josie perfectly. You breathed a little easier after that. 

“Do you want me to watch her so you two can get some sleep?” Carol offered. 

You glanced at your friend. “I have to feed her again, but actually, that would be great. I don’t think I’ve slept since the night before she was born.”

“We all took turns when Judith was born helping out. No reason why we can’t do that now.” Carol smiled at you; it was the first real one you’d seen in a while. Maybe watching the baby meant more to her than you thought. 

So after feeding her, Carol was excited to take the baby from you and tell you neither of you would get her back until you slept for at least a few hours. 

You were asleep before you could realize your head hit the pillow. 

***

Teaks soaked your cheeks as you rocked Josie back and forth. She wouldn’t stop crying, and it’d been hours. You did everything you could think of. You’d fed her, burped her, and changed her. You couldn’t figure out what she wanted. 

It’s been a month since she was born, and for the most part, she was a well-tempered baby. She fussed like normal but didn’t scream bloody murder like today. 

“What’s wrong with her?” RJ yelled over the baby’s cries. 

You glanced at the young boy at the kitchen table and continued rocking the baby. “I don’t know, RJ.”

“Maybe she needs more food,” Judith said. 

You glanced at your niece and nephew before looking back at your daughter. You quietly shushed the baby and walked over to the table to fix the swaddle. Once she was wrapped up tightly and you were rocking her in your arms, she started to calm down. You breathed a sigh of relief and leaned against the counter. 

“Are you two finished with your homework? Where is your mom again?”

“She went out on a run to Hilltop, remember?” Judith reminded you. 

You couldn’t remember anything much these days. “Just finish your homework. I’m going to put her down for a nap.”

You left the two kids in the kitchen and headed for the stairs just as Daryl walked into the house. You sighed with relief. “Thank God, that was the longest hunting trip of my life. Take her. She’s ready for a nap. I need a minute.”

Daryl didn’t say a word as you handed him Josie and then walked out of the house. The early May air was warm, and you could smell flowers. You could also hear the buzz of the community, and you sat down on the brick steps. 

Dog came out to sit next to you, wagging his tail as you pet him. After a few silent, peaceful minutes, you hear someone leave the house. You didn’t need to look behind you. You knew it was Daryl. 

“She’s down,” Daryl said, putting the baby monitor on the ledge and sitting beside you. “Ya okay, pretty girl?”

You gave him a look. “I’m exhausted. My back hurts from breastfeeding, and my nipples feel like shards of glass. I haven’t showered in five days. And I’m with the baby and the kids every day. Carol is basically a ghost. Michonne is always doing something--which I understand. I just feel overwhelmed. And I’m pumping so much milk I feel like a milk factory. Not to mention Lydia is sulking around, and I can’t do anything to help her.” 

“I can ice ‘em again for ya. It helped last week. And I’ll have Aaron take Judith for a sleepover. RJ goes to bed early enough. Everythin’ else, we can handle together.”

You groaned in exhaustion and leaned against him. You had no room to complain to him. He was up every night with you because he refused to let you be alone, and then he was hunting almost every day to provide for you so you could produce for your daughter. 

“I’m just tired. And postpartum isn’t what I expected. Michonne made it look so easy. And we haven’t had sex in over a month, and we can’t for at least another two weeks, maybe more, since I’m taking forever to heal.”

Daryl chuckled and wrapped an arm around your waist. “Things will get better soon, pretty girl. Why don’ I watch the kids so ya can take a shower?” 

You looked up at him, frowning slightly at his handsome face and how much you missed being with him. “I knew I married you for a reason.”

***

A month later, Rosita went into labor. You’d been on an evening walk with Daryl and Josie when Gabriel came running, and you left both of them with a kiss before running with Gabriel to the infirmary. 

She was in the same bed you were in and sighed with relief when she saw you. You were immediately by her side. “Hi babe, I didn’t know someone could make childbirth look so sexy.” 

She laughed through her pain. “I’m just trying to live up to you.”

You smiled and took her hand as you looked at Siddiq. “How is she doing?”

“She’s got a long while to go. She’s only a centimeter dilated. She’s going to be here for a while.”

Rosita was in labor for a grueling twenty-three hours. You and Gabriel sat by her side, feeding her ice chips and holding her hand through every contraction. You only took a break when Daryl brought you breakfast with Josie, and you sat with them for a few minutes. Then Rosita started screaming again, and you bid your family goodbye. 

Finally, after you passed the point of delirium, Rosita delivered a healthy baby girl. Siddiq cut the cord, and Dante helped with the cleanup. Rosita was exhausted, and you didn’t envy her in the slightest. But you knew your job was done once the baby was in her arms and Siddiq could pull off his doctor mask. 

After Rosita thanked you endlessly, you told her you would visit her in the morning. You wanted her to have the time with her own little family. You bid goodnight to Eugene and the others who were waiting outside her room and headed home. 

It was really late, and both kids were asleep. You were sure Carol and Michonne were, too. After eating dinner that Daryl must’ve saved for you, you headed all the way up to Josie’s room. She was sleeping peacefully. 

You smiled as you adjusted the blanket and ran your finger along her chubby cheek. She barely had any hair, just little wisps of brown. And with her big blue eyes, you knew she would look just like her daddy. 

The floorboard creaked, and you turned to see Daryl standing at the doorway that led to the Jack and Jill bathroom. You could see into your bedroom through the open doors, and the lamp was on. 

“How’s Rosita?” He whispered as he came over to you. 

“She’s good. She had a girl.” You stood on your toes to give him a kiss hello. “Looks like Josie is gonna have a friend.”

Daryl wrapped his arm around your waist and stared down at the baby. “I can’ believe it sometimes.”

“What?”

“That we have a baby. That ya had the baby alright.” He squeezed your waist. “Never thought I’d see the day… didn’ think I’d be any good at it.”

You carefully caressed your sleeping daughter’s cheek again before you looked back up at Daryl and nodded toward your room. After turning on the nightlight and shutting the door, you followed Daryl. 

“You’re a great father. You were before Josie came along, too. You don’t think Judith and RJ see you as a father figure?” You asked as you started to get undressed. 

Daryl shrugged and sat down at the end of the bed. “Don’ really see it that way.”

“Well, you are. Why do you think Judith’s been wanting to spend so much time with you lately?” You asked as you put on one of your old maternity shirts to sleep in. “She sees you with Josie every day and is probably a little jealous. You moved in about a year ago or so. That’s a long time for a ten-year-old.” You walked over to the bed and moved his arms so you could sit on his lap. 

“Maybe I should see ‘bout takin’ her out huntin’, then?”

You set your hands on the sides of his cheek and smiled. “I think it would mean the world to her, old man,” Daryl grunted, and your smile widened. You leaned forward to press your forehead against his lips and then wrapped your arms around his neck. 

“Josie ate the whole bottle, by the way,” Daryl said against your skin. 

You nodded and looked up at him. “Good.”

His eyes closed as you pushed back his hair and gently caressed his skin. He must’ve showered while you were with Rosita because he smelt like the Hilltop soap that came in. You moved up on your knees and kissed him, taking him off guard, but he gripped you tightly. 

“I miss you,” You said against his lips. You tugged at his shirt and then slipped your hands underneath so you could touch his bare skin. 

Daryl hummed against your lips and broke away from the kiss long enough so you could pull off his shirt. You were kissing again in seconds, with your running up and down his warm skin. You then grabbed the hem of your shirt and pulled it off so you were completely naked on his lap.

“Darlin’, I don’ wanna if ya not ready yet.” Daryl whispered. 

You shook your head and ground against him. You could feel how much he wanted you, and you didn’t want to stop. 

“I will tell you if we have to stop.” You grinded against him again. 

Daryl didn’t give you time to adjust before he had you on your back and further up on the bed. His lips moved against yours feverishly, and his hands touched every part of you they could. You moaned into his mouth through each squeeze he gave you and each time he teased your clit with his fingers. 

“Promise me if ya start to hurt, ya say somethin’?” Daryl asked against your lips. “I know how ya are.”

You nodded and pulled him closer to you to deepen the kiss. 

Daryl’s fingers finally circled around your clit, slowly, tauntingly, and it felt so good you could already feel tears in your eyes. It’d been too long without him.

“I can feel how much ya miss me,” He teased you. 

You smiled against his lips and cupped him through his bottoms. “So can I.” You slid your hand through the band and wrapped your fingers around him. 

His breathing deepened, and he shook his head. “I don’ wanna wait.”

“Then fuck me already, Dixon.”

You helped him get out of the bottoms, and then he spread your legs. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, getting yourself prepared. You weren’t sure how bad it might hurt if it would hurt, but you couldn’t wait any longer. 

“Ya okay?”

You nodded and bit your lip when you felt him rub his tip along you before he pushed into you. You gripped his biceps and dug your fingernails in.

“Are ya hurt?”

“No, it just feels like pressure.” You breathed out. “Keep going. Please.”

Daryl kissed your forehead before doing as you asked, and the pressure was gone within a minute. So you wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him by the neck to kiss you. You ran your tongue along his bottom lip and sucked in, making his thrust falter for a moment. 

“Fuck.” Daryl breathed out. 

“Harder.” You whimpered, and had to bite your lip when he did exactly what you wanted. “Oh, God…”

“Open ya eyes, pretty girl.”

You did what he asked, meeting his. The way he looked at you so lovingly made you want to cry, and you cupped his face with his hands as you stifled a moan. He was hitting that one spot again, enough to drive you crazy. 

“I love ya,” He whispered to you. “I missed this.”

You moaned, his words going straight to your core. “I love you too.”

His head dropped down to your forehead, and his hips quicked their pace but half a second. His nose bumped against yours every time he thrusted.

“Harder, please.” You nearly started to beg. 

You weren’t sure how you lasted that long, but too soon you felt your orgasm hitting you like a brick, and then Daryl followed suit. He managed to pull out quick enough, and you didn’t realize it was all over your stomach until he collapsed next to you. 

The two of you were breathing deeply, and you glanced over at him. “You better get me a damn towel.”

“Just give me a damn minute, woman.”

You smiled and grabbed his hand. “You should take a few of them, actually. Because you aren’t leaving this bed until I’m through with you.”

[neonfretra]

hockey art tag game!! ^_^ hello @wehaveagathering thank you for the tag!! <3

rules: post your first ever hockey art, your latest hockey art, and your favorite hockey art. then tag three hockey artists

tagging artists first because um. gestures at the keep reading below? im shy hello ^_^

@puckpocketed

@stillfertile

@oensible

any other artists that see this!! please tag me i beg of you i would love to get to know other hockey artists! if you already did it tag me who care. i care! :)

lot of yapping because i love yapping, sticking this under a cut ^_^ did you know tumblr changed their image limit from 10 to 30?

as a forewarning a lot of these images are hella compressed because i pulled them directly from posts, maybe consider peeking at the original linked posts to see them in marginally better quality ^_^

first hockey art

i never posted this one! i thought blackwood and kahkonen looked vaguely kiki and bouba esque respectively which is REALLY funny because the name mackenzie blackwood is more bouba than kaapo kahkonen which is an incredibly kiki name

now that i sound sufficiently deranged.

which of these shapes is be named kiki and which is named bouba?

the kiki/bouba effect was a study about our association with sound and shape, in which people associated "kiki" with a spiky shape and "bouba" with a round shape. (wikipedia, image also comes from wikipedia)

this was from when i was first dipping my toes into hockey and had the hardest time telling players apart! the drawing, not the kiki/bouba effect . you can imagine what two men with similar hair color, eye color, and hair styles on the same team playing the same position was like for me. the biggest part of why i didnt post this was because it was incredibly embarrassing at the time . now i can freely admit i dont know any of the eastern conference and people will think im funny ^_^

first hockey art on this blog

mostly because i think its a fun bit of trivia, the goalie portraits for the teams i started out rooting for! (sharks edition and kraken edition)

i posted these the first game of their corresponding teams after i finished them! the completion order is less straight forward because i was actively jumping between all 4 drawings (3 kraken goalie portraits + 1 portrait of 2 shark goalies) when one of them got too hard :)

i dont remember the exact order beyond grubi being the last i finished LMAO something about drawing him just does not agree with my hands

theyre all a lil ugly to me now but thats the fun of knowing how you started <3

i remember also wanting to draw pwhl minnesotas goalies but not knowing at the time how to find nearlyyy enough references to feel confident to go through with it! (i was looking them up on search engine images HAHAHAHA)

good ol pwhl min ^_^ leave out a fire extinguisher for em will you all, one hell of a trashfire on their hands right now

^ this joke was written BEFORE the whole firing of 3 coaches pwhl min are we okay??????

latest hockey art

...at time of posting mostly because i take a long time to get tag games done...! hello from my drafts everypony ^_^

i lie to myself ft. devin cooley and joey daccord!

a fun fact is that despite animating a bit ive actually never made an animatic before! ^_^

one of the challenges of animating is that you have to draw the same character over and over without making big changes and how to keep doing it consistently

one of the challenges of drawing real people is that you need to figure how to simplify a person to their most basic shapes and proportions . even if you have a realistic style you gotta wrangle the underlying bones to it and it is harddd takin that step back from the human person to make em a cartoon .

so you can imagine the how it goes animating real people

i actually wouldve loved addin more motion and frames but experienced some minor limitations:

i do my drawings in an art program and stitch them together afterwards, which means i dont have a sense of the speed of everything . you can kind of see that problem around the 0:19-0:20 mark because i straight up did not consider time when i wrote a really long winded sign in the background LOL the unused frame for this was also a time issue, i tossed in an establishing shot because i didnt consider the fact that there isnt time for an establishing shot

time and motivation . the longer something takes the less i want to work on it . would you believe well over half of this was taken up by like . being stumped on 2 or 3 frames HAHAHA

doing animation in an art program not made for art is really cumbersome actually. i do most of my work in one layer so you can imagine how it feels to suddenly have to keep track of tens of layers (sprites, backgrounds, foreground elements, captions) , i merged certain layers (white blocks under lineart for readability and closed captions over the lineart are all one layer) so its difficult to actually go back and add anything. or alter anything! closed captions from 0:13-0:15 is inaccurate but i cant alter them without literally erasing it from the layer which is scary

despite the fact that anything involving moving pictures kills me crazy style, im INCREDIBLY proud that this is done and this animatic is like my own child. shout out to the reblogs on the post for pointing out jokes or talkin that they like it, yall inflate my ego <3

at some point i stopped using reference images which is really funny to ME because i actually have the hardest time drawin a devin cooley that LOOKS like a devin cooley . get simplified . theres like. a handful of players i feel comfortable drawing without reference? if you ever want to learn how to draw someone, animate them ^_^

favorite hockey art

frantically scrolling through my art tag... not because i dont like any of my art (my drawings are all awesome would you believe) but because i dont even remember what ive drawn LMAOO

we dont mind more than just one art right ^_^ (like ive not been doing that already LOL

the doodles

i habe something to contribute / i shoot the puck / devin cooley eating joey daccords hair

the most important aspect of my own art is whether or not it makes me giggle . if it doesnt make me cry laugh then is it really goin on the fridge?

something i do feel proud of is balancing expression and likeness ^_^ its way easier knocking that balance with fictional characters as opposed to people with actual physical faces . simplifying them into what is essentially a poorly drawn cat meme is more of a beast than realistic portraits would you believe .

i think my favorite subject to do this with would be buoy actually! theyre a mascot, IDK why it should be a surprise that fae takes easily to being simplified and drawn cartoonishly

i do NOT know what emotion i shoot the puck is supposed to evoke.

really fun observin my freakish little drawings developing more of their own style over time (compare my first gubbi drawing to my latest tomas tatar thursday) (again, latest at the time of writing) and the simplification definitely feels way more intentional ^_^

the funnier half of simplifying is that the simpler it gets the more complex it gets? like more dramatic perspective in barkov and tkachuk in the cup or buoys weird pose with tomas tatar with the dynamo pardubice jersey. id mention shading but i actually have a grudge against shading relative to art advice ("just add shading" is NOT the one size fits all advice we treat it like ITS NOT!!!!)

the nicer stuff

do i hear a break down on individual pieces?

jan rutta picking up mackenzie blackwoods helmet

i think i made it planny clear on the original post but i really truly love the composition of this shot. ruttas hand picking up mackblacks helmet? between the legs? CRAZY.

the refs stance was wild by the way. legs so far apart theyre naming the ice between em an ocean. so on.

i remember the original shot being so striking to me because of the contrast between the cold and warm, the hard and the soft fleshy bits which was something i really wanted to exaggerate with colors

yall can probably tell i dont take my references SUPER literally but for some reason in this one i asked myself if it was deceitful to be messin with colors to get a vibe, to which i asked myself WHAT was i going on about

anyways. intentionally made everything but jan ruttas hand way bluer . i guess mackenzie blackwoods helmet is also warm? but the focus is the hand more than anything hahaha this is also why i did the most complex coloring for it

also another point of interest! included the chromatic aberration (the red/blue 3d effect) mostly because the legs on the right side were blending into each other . but its a really interesting effect to observe in actual recording! :) im not a fan of pressing my face up to a moving picture unfortunately </3

sidney crosby with evgeni malkins helmet

ok ok okay can i be honest . that stray line next to the penguins head has bothered me ever since the day after i posted this. now YOU cant unsee it. no problem ^_^

if you look at the original post, this one has been a wild redraw because i was making up a whole new angle of an existing pose LOL. then again i dont do redraws super often so i guess its not really ridiculous but.

actually now that i think about it i was making up the angle (albeit less) with the bobrovsky stigmata drawing (though its worth noting that i referenced this gifset of the save that was less of a severe change than the original tweet) and ignoring foreground elements for the kiss redraw (theres a big ol hockey stick covering jordan eberles head IIRC?) and the mackenzie blackwood holding his partners head redraws (i was absolutely NOT drawing the audience LMAO)

but the gesture was easy enough to capture but the anatomy had me by the NECK. the THROAT. the SCRUFF!!! it still looks plenty wonky to me but IMO gesture trumps accuracy . someone in the notes tagged it with this:

to which i throw my hands up in celebration and say hallelujah he has been accepted by penguins fans he will survive the winter

kraken goalies as animals

i really like drawing animals . i really like drawing armor .

more detailed breakdown on the post LOL i just really liked this and its super different from the usual stuff i post

i havent even mentioned all my sacrilegious drawings... my art is so awesome and cool its so hard picking a favorite...

and some final notes

if you made it to the end of this one jesus christ um. hello ^_^ even i wasnt writin this in one sittin.

honest to god if this post showed you anythin i love talking about my process and thoughts behind my works and if you wanted to ever ask hi hit me up ? ask box open? dms open? i can buy you dinner or a very shiny fruit from the market?

[emonopolyman]

Where did you go?

Why did you take my simple heart?

VI IS NOSTALGIC OVER HER PAST RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU.

ship : Vi x Fem! reader. Reader is non-descriptive, but mostly uses she/her pronouns.

genre : fluff. slight angst, but mainly just Vi being sad. From Vi's perspective!

synopsis : Violet never loved anyone besides the girl she met freshman year. The girl she dated the whole of university. The girl who left with her heart. Based off the song Angelina by Lizzy McAlpine. I am obsessed with it.

warnings : Angst. Violet does not express any emotional vulnerability. Reader is smart.

authors note : First try, please give me some feedback xx. I really tried to keep reader's looks outta question because I know some people express feeling unable to see themselves in fics when the reader is described as blushing or such! I'm always open to tips and idea!

The somber voice which held in the air echoed throughout Violet’s head, her eyes shifting over the people walking past as if evaluating for any resemblance of you in them. She found none.

 It was evident to anyone that the past year had been rough on the girl, her back hunched as she narrowed her eyes with grimace at anyone who dared study her. She hated the thought of being known, of knowing. She couldn't move on, not when that night was still so clear in her head.

It was freshman year in college, somewhere between taking classes and trying not to fail exams Violet found herself at a loud party. Her hands moved to the bridge of her nose, the early signs of a headache cloud her eyes. She knew this was a bad idea, but she came still- no one to blame but herself. She didn’t even come to make friends because she knew her appearance was too intimidating; instead she focused on the way the bass rocked the floor and how people moved around the large area sloppily as the night continued. 

 It was way past midnight when she found her way onto the patio, leaning against the deep colored wood as she took a deep breath trying not to take notice of the deafening music being pushed through the house's thin doors. 

 She let out a small sigh, tucking her head into her chest. “The music’s shit.” She heard the voice before she even saw the face, it was coated in alcohol and calmness making Violet shoot her head towards the sound.

 It wasn’t even special at the time, you sitting on the small patio chair as her eyes adjusted to your face, but that moment warped her life forever.

It wasn’t that you two were in love, it was that she was enamored. If it was how easily you carried yourself, or how you seemed to say the perfect things whenever she needed it. Slowly, her mind was consumed by you- even as she continued to mess around with other girls she always found some way to relate each person to you.

If it was your laughter, or how you stitched your eyebrows together when working, or even the clothes you found comfort in wearing. She knew you only saw her as a friend, but her mind couldn’t help but run. The way your fingers would linger over hers, or the way you would always help every bug you stumbled upon; gushing about how they weren’t as scary as we probably were to them. You were kind, and consistent- she knew that when she walked through the double door of that same party house she could easily find you hidden in the garden staring at the stars.

As Vi turned the corner, she studied the cafe before pulling out the first chair she found. The table was small and held only an ashtray and a dying rosemary plant. As quickly as she had sat down in the woven chair, a server came over handing a menu before Vi ushered her that she would only have a water for now; her mind was too full of nostalgia to read the words alongside deciding what drink she would want.

 “Why do you always come to these things?” Your voice broke the muffled silence, “All you ever do is sit here with me.” It was mid autumn, and the party season had yet to peak again as the second year of college rang in. Vi’s hand’s flexed against the patio’s chair where the ingrained motions of picking had already begun to show signaling how many times this exact situation had repeated throughout the last year. 

 Autumn wasn’t always sweet to Vi, with the sudden gust of chill and the way the temperatures could change so drastically; she had spent everyday throughout the week waiting to see you on that Saturday night, to talk to you, to look at you. “I don’t know,” Vi shook her head, her eyes flickering between the wood under her hand and your face. “It’s just nice, I guess.” She knew it was nice, she knew she looked forward to this. She didn’t know what kind of control you had over her, but everything about you made her stutter and smile like a teenage girl. 

 “Laurie thinks you have a crush on me.” You said, innocently, as your eyes fluttered to the face next to yours. She hadn’t looked at you in a minute, processing her own movements carefully.

 Vi let out a chuckle, looking up at you finally; blue eyes shifting in the moonlight. “He never knows when to keep his mouth shut, does he?” She said, smiling a toothy grin.

 “Is it true?” Your eyes studied her face, seeing as her gaze fell down before she spoke once more.

 “What’s true?”

 “Do you have a crush on me?” You spoke, and suddenly Violet's throat felt dry and she felt childish for even thinking that she stood a chance. She cursed everything about herself. The way she liked girls, the way she liked you. Everything. 

 “I- wha-” Without even saying her reply, you cupped her jaw moving your body over both of the woven chairs. It felt like heaven, feeling your lips on hers as her body softened into the movement, her hands moving to hold your cheek, leaving her nervous fidgeting behind as she felt her body revel in the new feeling she had found. 

 You pulled back, she felt empty. You let out a steady breathe, and Vi could feel her cheeks heat at how you seemed to loose yourself for a second before talking again. “Vi, I like you alo-” You didn’t even finish your admittance of feelings before her lips were back on yours, mind finally processing what had just happened. You smiled into the kiss, and she felt her mind lose itself.

 Two years, she had given two years to your relationship. Another year of friendship before that. She felt like some prank was being played on her, with the way you tucked your fingers behind her jaw as you kissed her in celebration. Vi’s eyes were pushed open, trying to decipher the emotion she felt.

 You held the letter that risked everything, that risked your whole relationship. She knew how much you wanted this, and now she had the answer. She would choose the adventure, the internship. 

 You pulled from the kiss, waving the letter around in the air as you began to mock kissing it. Were you mocking her? Her eyes were awake, her mind was rambling. She felt fooled, she felt like she was in high school again. She felt like she had been dating a girl for two years straight only to be told that it was all a prank at the moment she felt complete, only she knew she was overreacting. She knew you weren’t breaking up with her. She knew that you were just happy. But that broke her.

 Her face moved into auto-play, as she mocked a smile and moved to hold your hands. “When will you go?” She asked, trying not to sound different. She tried. 

 “October!” You smiled, moving to kiss her cheek as you danced around the flat. October, autumn. 

 When you had left her, she knew it wasn’t a goodbye. The way the sweater hugged you as you pulled alongside the suitcase, waving a sweet see-you-later to your girlfriend. It was like watching your life slip, if Violet was dead she would have not known it yet- her mind was replaying that moment for weeks after.

 The way you moved so easily, and how quickly you turned your back as you entered the gate. How you held the pamphlet in your hands, mocking how much you were to live without her. For seven weeks, four days and thirteen hours Violet held onto that life with you until she couldn't remember your voice anymore, until she found your letters slowing to an end, till she felt as if she truly lost you.

Then she tried to move on. Tried.

She rocked back in the cafe chair, letting the cooling water chill her warm body. Summer wasn’t nice in Piltover. Her head ached slightly from last night's drinking, as her mind swarmed. Were the glasses too overkill, was it obvious she had only woken up an hour ago? Her fingers moved to pinch the wooden arm-rest, carving her anxieties into the material. 

 Her leg bounced, her eyes scanned the area. You mocked her. In every person she saw you. In every bartender, and drunken one night stand. In every bouncer, and every person who fed the cats at a cafe. She saw you, like a ghost- mimicking and mocking her every move. You were taunting her, making her mind run wild with the idea of you. She didn't realize until now how many people she liked because of you. You, it was all because of you.

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. “Violet!’ Your voice broke the muffled silence of her head, her eyes moved up to the street seeing as your arm waved with a smile pressed onto your face. Fuck, you.

@ emonopolyman 2023

hope you enjoyed xoxo

tags: @iheartsadiesink @ffiahh

if you would like to be added to my tag list just go to the taglist section on my introduction post xoxo

[eldritch-spouse]

So we know that patches wishes to be separated with stitches/his dullahan self, so i wonder, would stitches still be interested in patches/their obession? and if so could we have a threesome with them pretty please with a cherry on top 😩

[Realistically yes, both would. Fem reader.]

TW: Breath play.

A lot has changed in the world, and in very little time at that.

You should have listened to your captor-turned-tentative-boyfriend when he told you to keep your mind open these upcoming times, that a lot of what you knew about reality was about to be challenged and he wouldn't let you enter lunacy because of it. But finding out all religions are lies, knowing there are two gods currently on Earth, that one of them has employed Patches all this time- That they have children-

It's enough to shell shock you for a couple of days. But apparently, the surprises aren't over.

Oh no they aren't.

When the magic caster had deemed you mentally stable enough, he approached you calmly and said, almost apologetically, that there would be just one more change- Regarding himself this time. He must have seen the color drain from your face, because a stuttering fit ensued and he assured you that it would be for the best. You sure fucking hope so, because you have never been so stressed before, sitting on the couch with a tea mug in hand, watching a comfort movie to keep your mind off things.

Patches has been gone the whole day. He works mostly at night, so you're not used to spending mornings and early evenings on your own. It's almost uncanny. As hard as you try to focus on the actors' lines, the scenes you've seen a hundred times by now, some little bit of you is wondering wildly what could be the change Patches will undergo.

Maybe he'll ask for a different head? No, it couldn't be that, he can manage such a simple thing on his own. A radical change in appearance maybe. More humanoid? Or outlandishly bizarre, a beast of eight arms, three heads and yeah okay let's not go down that road- Maybe he wants something else more secretive, knowledge he has no business sticking his gourd head in. Yes, that sounds like him. You just hope he doesn't come home a completely different person, it would shatter you. Through all these rapid-fire changes in the world, Patches has been something of a lifeline for your sanity, an anchor of consistency, a pillar. Losing him would be crushing in a suffocating way. Your heart races alarmingly at the thought, and you gulp another mouthful of hot tea.

Calm down. He said it'd be good.

Right as you're about to get some shuteye, the quiet noise of the front door's lock clicking open jolts you, the mug between your hands nearly toppling over to make a mess of the carpet. You're more awake than you've ever been in a record amount of time, adrenaline thundering through your veins at the sound of footsteps.

Two monsters walk into the living room.

And the mug drops from your hands. At least it didn't shatter.

Two Patches... Two- Did he seriously ask for a clone of himself?!

You sit, slack-jawed, glancing at the two people standing side by side. They look like siblings, oddly enough. One of them looks exactly like the Patches you're used to, purple garb, loose white shirt, big hat, that rounded mouth and those pretty pinprick eyes. The other, albeit sporting the exact same body type, dons much more ragged coat, a scarf, no hat or gloves- He has the exact same look on his face Patches does when he's having a fit, all sharpness and mischief, sockets a void-like shape. They stand before you, studying you as intensely as you study them, one looks stressed, the other is tapping his foot giddily. You have no words, every time you try to say anything, your throat just closes up and you freeze, wary. Which one of them is your Patches? What does this imply? What are you going to do now?!

" Patches? " You simply ask, looking between the two and suddenly feeling very unsafe.

" D-Don't worry, everything's okay, but I need you to listen- " The one with the hat starts, tone gentle, though gets interrupted when his lookalike takes steady steps in your direction, instantly jolting you to stand up tensely.

Fortunately, he's grabbed around the arm by the first, the two exchanging terse looks. " Stay still, will you?! This is serious, you can't just frighten her. " The trapped one stomps and wrings his arm free, making a dismissive motion as if to tell the other Patches to bugger off.

" What the fuck is happening? "

" Firefly, I swear it'll all make sense, just let me explain. " He pleads, and you feel compelled to at least hear him out, nodding silently. " ... I need you to promise not to be mad at me. "

You squint, arms crossed. " Yeah no, I can't promise you that. " The one who's been silent all this time makes a noise like a wispy snicker.

Patches sighs. " Do you remember those times when I... Got into fits? "

" Yes? "

" Right. " He visibly cringes. " So, that wasn't exactly me. "

" Excuse you? " You don't like where this is going.

" B- Basically, I uhm... I split into two, when I died. We're both Patches I guess, but we've been trapped together for all this time. " He tries, struggling to find the right words.

A pregnant pause unfolds, your gaze drops in thought. Two different people, previously in one body. Two people you've been interacting with all this time, under the assumption they were one and the same. Two people- Oh God, two people you've fucked. This is so beyond the threshold of normalcy, of common fucking decency, you can't believe you've been lied to all this time. Tricked! All because he didn't have the guts to tell you, because he's a coward.

" Are you fucking serious right now?! " You start, with a fire you don't even think twice about.

The talkative one hunches. " I- I know, I'm- "

" There's been two of you this whole time?! I have two boyfriends- You BOTH had sex with me and I didn't even know! " It's mind-boggling. Watching the hatless one bend to grasp his knees, shaking in mute laughter, only incenses you further. " What are you laughing at, do I look like a fucking clown to you?! " He wheezes soundlessly and you rattle like an overheated kettle.

The one in a coat is kicked repeatedly by his counterpart, who offers you a pathetic smile. " P- Please moonlight, I know how you must be feeling... " A vein nearly bursts in your forehead at the nerve. " But can we focus on the present, please? " He waits for a moment, probably wondering if you're going to try and maim either of them. " To make things easier, you can call me Patches, he's Stitches. "

You're momentarily distracted by how much that makes them sound like a pair of plushies. Patches and Stitches, names much too innocent for this dullahan duo. At least it does solve the naming issue, he's right.

" I'm not... I'm pissed at you. Both of you. " And deep down, you know you should be more irate about this.

After all, it's such a monumental breach of trust. Sure, the two acted differently even within the same body, but both of them responded to the same name! They made no attempts to state being separate people at all. You've been played for a total fool all this time.

" We- We get it, we really do firefly, and we're sorry. " Patches tries to smooth the situation down, yet his counterpart consistently ruins any progress by making strides towards you.

Instinct tells you to put distance between you two, even if, realistically, you've embraced this monster many times before. He titters silently again at your antics, and a very brief game of cat and mouse is cut off when he grabs you by the middle, arms trapped behind his. They're strong for being such twinks, something you already know. A pumpkin head leans onto your shoulder and you huff.

Patches sighs. " Maybe... We could, w-well, make it up to you? "

Time freezes for a second there. " Make it up to me. " You parrot skeptically, still in Stitches' hold.

His lips wobble in a familiar motion and he won't meet your eyes, nodding. " Yeah. "

The meat of your ass is groped by a strayed hand and you immediately grasp where this is going. " Are you serious? " You growl to the one holding you, but all he does is nod mischievously.

Still grabbing you, the monster makes a sharp pulling motion, sending you two falling with a startled scream. You land on top of him, and he lands on the couch, adjusting quickly so you're on his lap. Bastard! Before you can bark anything at Stitches, Patches climbs on as well, leaving you trapped between the two. Not that you're making any real attempt to get free.

Stitches starts grinding against you immediately, predictably, you can feel him harden quickly. Patches smiles softly as he fiddles with your casual home clothes, removing your shirt and aiming for your sweatpants. " Of course this is the first thing you want to do the moment you're apart. " You roll your eyes. " Pervert, bet you've been thinking about it for long. "

You expect Patches to pipe down, perhaps nod and make a horny little noise at the insult, but he surprises you by simply staring into your eyes. " ... Haven't you? "

You blink back at him.

Stitches whistles teasingly, discarding your bra more roughly than you'd like. Maybe, at some point, you might have had thoughts of a similar nature- But never did you think they'd have any basis in reality! You have no response for the taunt and it shows on your overheated face.

Your hips are lifted so Patches can remove your bottoms, eyeing your pussy as he gently spreads your legs. He usually doesn't get to have you in submissive positions like this, so you can't blame him for ogling. Stitches shifts beneath you, struggling some before he's able to free his cock.

It slaps onto your cunt, his greedy hands rubbing over your warm skin before cupping your tits, playing around with them. They have the same exact body type, so it only takes a quick glance down to confirm that their lengths are likely identical.

" Don't hog her. " Patches warns his double, pushing his own clothes aside to free himself.

Stitches mouths something back, and although you can't see his face from this angle, or read lips all that well, Patches clearly understands it was something offensive. The dullahan adjusts, grinding his dick across your entrance and ripping a shuddered moan out of you. It only seems to sting Patches' jealousy more, because he's grabbing your head and forcing a kiss between you- As if to eat that noise, claim it for himself.

Stitches continues to rock himself against you, every drag of his tip on your clit getting you wetter. When Patches moans against your mouth, you know he's wrapped a hand around himself, peeling back to watch the show. In a way, it's sort of like watching himself fuck you from an outside perspective. If you were in his shoes, you'd find it extremely bizarre, but it doesn't surprise you he'd get turned on by it.

Green hands drift from your inner thighs to your womanhood, parting your lips and lining Stitches with your hole. He's panting just watching it happen, groaning like he's the one sinking into your hot cunt, when it's his more rambunctious counterpart. You gasp and whine, wet but still a bit unprepared for the stretch, taking Stitches to the root only after a couple of encouraging rolls.

" Fffuck... " Patches murmurs, stroking himself faster the moment Stitches takes over to set a mild pace, deep but hard thrusts making you clip out moans.

" Is- Hhn- Are you technically getting cucked by yourself right now? " You joke, feeling Stitches shake behind you in what you know is a soundless belly laugh, pistons stuttering.

" I don't like how much I'm into this... " Patches admits, something you've heard from him a couple of times into your oftentimes rocky relationship.

" Liar. " You jab, more of a tease than a heartfelt comment. " Hey- Ah- Make yourself useful, no? " Lidded eyes drift from his face to the place where you and Stitches join, beckoning the other to do something about it.

Much to your delight, he flushes a deep emerald and lowers a thumb to your clitoris, quickly rubbing a couple of circular motions before giving up any type of pride and removing his head so he can hold it up to the action. A summoned tongue laves from Stitches' underside up to your button, swirling it there as his face deforms and he does his best to suck at the little bundle of nerves.

The combined stimulus has you bucking, eyes rolling slightly as you struggle between wanting to grind onto Patches' slimy tongue or fuck yourself deeper onto Stitches' cock. He speeds up beneath you and all higher thoughts seep out your body, broken moans filling the room.

At some point, a sneaky hand coils itself around your neck, a firm, shudder-inducing hold slowly starting to constrict the faster your pussy is pounded. Patches looks up at you just in time to see tears prick your eyes from oxygen deprivation, too breathless to moan but tightening hard enough around Stitches' cock that he throbs and makes wispy groans.

You're sure you're drooling, but it doesn't matter, as every sensation only heightens in your body's state of relative panic. Thighs shaking, goosebumps covering your body, it only takes a couple of well-timed fucks for you to toss your head back and cough in a sudden orgasmic wave, fingers spasming aimlessly. Stitches releases his vise grip of your throat to hear your desperate wheezing turn into ragged whines, clawing at your thighs as he follows you over the edge, trembling. Patches only stops licking at you when your pants become overstimulated winces and his double's cum is oozing out around you two.

The dullahan in front of you slots his gourd head back onto his neck, watching you sag onto Stitches. His expression becomes a little more serious when he sees the state of your own neck, smoothing soft fingertips across it. " If you're this careless with her again, I'll burn you to a crisp. " Patches seethes.

" N- No, it's fine. " It's your turn to stutter. " I liked it. "

His sockets widen. " A-Ah, really? " The magic caster looks positively delighted by the news that maybe, you and him might have a similar desire for pain. Though you wouldn't go to the same lengths he does.

Stitches interrupts the moment by roughly shoving at Patches' shoulders. The mute monster points insistently at the other end of the couch and Patches climbs back on after a glare. Your sweaty body is quickly dumped onto Patches, receiving a quick slap to the ass before you're arranged to straddle his lap.

Stitches grabs Patches' neglected girth and positions him properly before nudging you to sink onto him. The two of you shudder when Patches slips in easily, pussy having already had a workout. You can feel Stitches' load spilling further and don't need any encouragement to start lazily riding the dullahan looking lovingly up at you.

Dirty fingers prod at your lips, you part them without thinking, making eye contact with Patches as you dutifully clean the seed off Stitches' digits. He cackles silently, Patches huffs needily, and you giggle.

Okay, fine, you'll admit having two of him isn't so bad after all...

[zayray030]

Basketball club hcs?

Also after the new stitch event I want to see more azul, floyd, and ace so any headcanons for that trio?

(Platonic or not platonic)

BASKETBALL TRIO!!!!

After practice they all like to go to Sam's shop and but themselves a little sweet treat

Floyd likes to randomly 'check' and 'fic' Ace's pose and position

Jamil likes to say that he's the normal one of the club but is the first to entertain Floyd's ideas to mess around during practice

Ace once made those honey soaked lemons for after practice and kept trying to say he bought them instead but Jamil and Floyd refused to believe him and teased him about being so cute

Anytime they go against another school Ace does a whole ritual in the hopes that Jamil and Floyd are nice to the players. It never works

Sometimes they go to the beach and practice passing there. It's mostly an excuse for Ace to see Jamil and Floyd shirtless

Ace once missed practice due to a high fever and the day he returned to practice was the most focused practice session ever. The next one was its normal chaotic self and he couldn't help but feel happier

Jam and Floyd once caught Ace practicing by himself and have made a conscious effort to explain things to him without him catching on

I'm actually curious in the FloAzuAce dynamic now lmao

Floyd and Azul regularly try and rope Ace into servitude but consistently fail

Ace once died his fringe blue in an effort to match his boyfriends and he got teased mercilessly. Little did he know it was because they just adored his hair and enjoyed how pretty it was to look at

Floyd was the first to clock on that Ace was essentially describing a sugar daddy when he talked about Azul

When the two first met Anippola they were shocked by how calm he was. And then even more shocked when he pulled a knife on them and threatened to fillet them

[red-hibiscus]

Differences between testosterone injections, gel, and pellets

I've been on testosterone for 8 years. First 4 I did injections, but then switched to gel. I did pellets for a bit and am about to go on them again. I'll try to explain the pros and cons of them.

Injections

I didn't really know about the existence of gel when I started T. I was only offered injections so that's what I did.

Pros: It's probably the easiest form to get and also the cheapest. You don't have to do them every day so it can be kinda easier to schedule. Between gel and injections, injections absorb faster so if you want faster results injections are better.

Cons: They cause peaks and troughs in your hormones since you're not consistently receiving the hormones every day (usually weekly or biweekly). You have to be careful with that. They're injections so they're painful, and not everyone can do their own injections, I can't. It can be difficult to find someone and plan out a time they can do your injection.

Gel

Pros: painless and easy. Cheaper than pellets. Not too hard to find. More consistent hormone levels since you do them everyday.

Cons: you have to do it everyday. Missing a day or two once in a while is fine, but if you're consistently missing a day here and there (even if you're mostly good about it) it'll show up in the bloodwork. You have to be careful around women bc they shouldn't touch the gel. Usually it dries quickly, but idk some brands take like 15 minutes and I just put on a shirt before it totally dries. Sometimes it leaves residue on shirts.

Pellets

This is not an option for people starting testosterone. Endocrinologists will want you to already have been on T for at least a year or two. This is because it's harder to regulate levels. Once the pellets are in, they don't come out.

Pros: You insert them once and they're good for 3-5 months, don't need to worry about it for a long time. So it's better for people who are bad at doing things consistently for whatever reason. Because the pellets slowly dissolve the hormone levels should be pretty consistent.

Cons: Many places don't offer it. It's expensive. I was quoted $1200, but it's covered by my insurance so I pay nothing. It's technically a mini surgery. They do local anesthesia and make a small cut to insert the pellets. The good thing is that the injection for the anesthesia hurts about the same as a testosterone injection, and the cut/pellets you don't feel at all. Idk how other endos do it, but mine didn't do stitches. He just had his hand on my ass while he waited for the blood to clot and then put special bandages on it (it was chill, he spent the time gossiping w/ his coworker and me). You do have to be a bit careful for a day or two afterwards, but you're good after that.

[appropriatelystupid]

alright friends i need some input for my nephews galaxy cross stitch (examples of my nieces so far should be in my craft tag)… the explanation is a little long so bear with me…

so far i’ve used the full 56 colors for the temperature ranges because my nieces all live in areas with big swings between the highest high and the lowest low so all the colors get used easily

my nephew lives in an area that is much more consistent, and 11 months into his first year, the gap doesn’t even reach all 56

so the question is, should i still stick with the 56 for consistency with his cousins, or use fewer to give a little more variety to his colors as mocked up below (no matter which i use it will be mostly shades of two/three colors so its really just a matter of which)

[hotgirlmythology]

What if I made a woman who wasn't assertive and self-confident wouldn't that be crazy haha

Anyway yeah here is a character bio about a woman who is most definitely not especially self-confident, although she may be able to pull out the assertiveness on occasion. If she is feeling dramatic enough. She is generally quite a cheerful person anyway despite this, mostly because she knows what she enjoys doing and is able to do it for a living. What does she enjoy doing? Why, herbalism of course! Nara is a young human from a village in eastern Galania that nobody bothers to name because it's just "That village on the hill, yes that one with all the sheep". She was never quite down to earth enough to do a great deal of farm work, especially the harvests and any kind of work involving sharp scythes and sickles. So her family was ok with letting her bunk off most of the time to work with herbs under her unofficial master, Jerellah, a 70-something ex-gardener, ex-vagabond with a penchant for such things and a suitably mysterious past that at least makes for some good stories now and then.

Although she is well-liked throughout the village, she is also not particularly prominent or well-known. To most she is just that slightly waifish young woman with her hands stained a mottled purple from all of the dyeing herbs she keeps messing with. The dark of her eyes can be off-putting when talking to her for a long time, especially with the way she stares unblinkingly into one's eyes to get their attention. Her clothing designs consist mostly of mottled shawls and cloaks meant to help her blend in with the mossy woods, concealed from those ill-fated eyes that prowl in the dark. Browns and greens and greys dyed by her own hand and wrapped around herself, she becomes nearly impossible to spot if she stops moving.

She may not be bosom friends with anyone, but she hears a lot. Particularly from soldiers who come wandering through, needing medical attention - they talk a lot to the silent woman with the dark eyes while she stitches them up and presses comfrey into the cuts. Faraway schoolhouses and libraries, the cities where the proper alchemists live, all places she has heard about before but enjoys hearing again and again. The life of a more scholarly-minded person can stagnate pretty quickly if not given more material to bolster her work, and despite her attempts to decipher the faded pages of some books Jerellah managed to scrape together, the writing is next to impossible to even see, let alone read. One day, she hopes to visit one, although the centers of learning in Galania don't look very well on shabby old shawls. Though Jerellah has cautioned her, having been close to powerful people before and knowing their scant regard for those of her station, she still harbours this desire to go and "complete" her education, as she sees it. There was never going to be enough to keep her at home.

Her horsewomanship is decent, as it is for most people in the east of Galania. The wide plains that coat the majority of the landscape there lend themselves to frequent horse use, and they are influenced by the horse nomads in the steppe beyond their border. Crucially, she is very light and easy for a horse to carry, and she is also caring and borderline silent unless she absolutely has to speak, all attributes that make horses like her very much. The forays she makes for herbs and berries and such foraging require enough travel that she basically has to keep one of her family's leggier horses for herself all the time - Jerellah does not keep one of his own because he doesn't trust anything to transport him but his own two legs, given he has had a wagon collapse under him, a horse come down with colic and a canoe overturned in a freak storm. Her preference to ride the horse, rather than drive it in a wagon form, is unusual in a sedentary village, and she carries urgent messages to the surrounding villages when needed. The horse is called Celimeyre, meaning Waxing Moon, as it seems that the longer she walks the more confident her stride, until she seems to fly across the land.

Nara is not the type to want to go on a long adventure of travelling discovery. Her home on the hill is quite enough for her, and the only thing that lures her from it is the prospect of more learning. However, with the war on the Elves in the north drawing soldiers from all Galania to fight against a common foe, she has seen men and women coming back with the most outlandish injuries, magical injuries. As the war drags on, her eyes are increasingly turned to the north, where medically minded people are desperately needed and knowledge is gathered both from the front and from the captured elves. Of course, she would never be taken by a recruitment party, given her lack of build, but she was a hardy woman for all that her musculature refused to grow. Besides, following a bunch of farmers with the aid of her cloaks would not be difficult. The prospect of her head being taken off by an arrow was not an enticing prospect however, and it would take a while before anything would actually make her seriously consider it...

[yellowhollyhock]

What do y’all think the turtles favorite kids movies would be (not their favorite movies as kids but their favorite kids movies that they still like as adults. If that makes any sense)?

Leo: Treasure Planet

Because he loves adventure! And it’s literature! (He loves the book itself and the Muppet adaptation as well). And it’s about space! He’s been to space! And the actual reason is the father-son themes. The way Jimbo so desperately needs a dad would 1) remind Leo of himself, not because he lacks that but because it resonates with him how important that relationship is and 2) make him want to adopt this angry teenager trying to save his family and the world by himself not that it reminds him of anyone.

I do think Jimbo would remind him of both himself and Raph. He’s 15 when his adventure starts too. He would love that there are elements that would make him think of each brother (Mikey probably said ‘go Delbert, go Delbert,’ to hype himself up for literally everything for at least a couple days every time they watched it, Donnie would simultaneously love Delbert and find him annoying, wow it’s mostly Delbert huh). Besides let’s be real Captain Amelia is his idol. At 12 he wanted to be just like her when he grows up and he still wants to just like her when he’s 16, 24, 30 etc.

Raph: Brother Bear

This one took me the longest to settle on, but I do think this is Raph’s movie. Coming of age, what masculinity means, sibling bonds, the devastation of losing a family member, being afraid of other people wanting to hurt you and your loved ones only to have to face the monster within yourself. The fact that Denahi blames Kenai for Sitka’s death, I think would cut Raph deep (he’s afraid of failing to protect or maybe even accidentally hurting people he cares about, he’s also afraid of rejection and judgment). Kenai facing up and taking responsibility for his mistakes (which are really the mistakes of his entire people) would hit a chord with him for sure, and overall the themes of forgiveness. He would find Koda soooo annoying and also immediately love him soooo much. The themes of the spirit world would secretly make him think about Hamato Yoshi and the connection he and his brothers have with him.

He would pretend to hate the two moose, but yet he is the one who keeps picking this movie… (squints suspiciously)

Donny: The Iron Giant

This was my initial thought and I tried to dismiss. I said to myself, girrrl that’s so surface level, he wouldn’t just pick the movie with a cool robot, dig a little deeper and find something with jokes he’d laugh at and themes that’d resonate with him.

But the thing is. It’s Iron Giant. Themes of greed vs innocence, war vs peace? Donny always gets those types of side quests, like how close he is with Fugitoid and the aliens him and April found Augie. He’s the dreamer; the possibility of a peaceful world is on his mind and in his motivations. There’s also Hogarth feeling socially isolated because he’s so smart, which you know Don’s situation is pretty different but still, there’s definitely some relatability there. And plus guys, the Iron Giant not understanding where he came from, not knowing if he has a soul or not—super relevant to the turtles, and particularly Don who was the first to recognize the TCRI initials (and therefore in my heart the one who has been most consistently curious about his origins). Interesting thing too—Donny does seem to worry about Splinter and worrying about his mom is definitely an important thing going on with Hogarth. Then there’s Dean, who I think would remind him of Kirby. It’s a movie that invites further research too, it really places itself in history. Don would love both researching and lecturing whoever makes the mistake of watching it with him (poor Angel lol she is not prepared).

And in the end, it’s a cool freaking robot. He would absolutely be obsessing over the design and doodling ideas about making his own.

Mikey: Lilo and Stitch

I think our monster movie connoisseur would love the idea of Stitch. Jumba and Pleakley is his otp of all time. He tells everyone he loves the movie for Pleakley’s head getting eaten and Lilo’s photography and voodoo and Stitch taunting Captain Gantu with his butt against the window, and yeah it is very much his brand of humor. But everyone knows he cries at the ugly duckling scene absolutely without fail, and usually the wishing on a star theme, and definitely the “this is my family.” Found family is something all the turtles would appreciate in art but I think especially Mikey. That and, he loves quoting entire scenes. Especially the tuna fish sandwich scene, Bubble’s first visit, and Jumba’s chase down with Stitch (“oh good, my dog found the chainsaw”).

Also he loves the music. I mean who doesn’t?

[jules-has-notes]

Harrisburg, PA — VoicePlay live performances

When the VoicePlay guys were touring regularly, they often included educational outreach at schools near their concert venues. So in the spring of 2019 they headed to central Pennsylvania for a workshop with the music students of Susquehanna Township High School, followed by an evening show at the Rose Lehrman Arts Center.

Unfortunately, the person who posted videos from the concert mostly recorded short clips instead of full songs, but you might still enjoy what is available.

.

Their school workshops include some performances, and this arrangement is a good demonstration of harmonies, diction, volume control, and group cohesion.

Details:

title: Ride

original performers: Twenty One Pilots

written by: Tyler Joseph

arranged by: Geoff Castellucci

performance date: 14 March 2019

My favorite bits:

Eli's lovely, clear tone

Layne managing to be audible to the camera's onboard mic

the snapping silliness (such goobers)

that fast patter in three-part harmony, whew

Geoff's descent on ♫ ⇘ "I'm falling sooo" ⇘ ♫

J.None and Eli's little hand gesture to illustrate the vocal hitch

Trivia:

The guys originally recorded this song during the first season of their PartWork series, with just Eli, Geoff, and Layne covering all five vocal parts.

This recording was originally posted to a student's Facebook page.

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This recording is missing several bits, as it has been stitched together from shorter clips. It mostly consists of the segments featuring the playful rivalry between Geoff and Earl, which is still a good time. (Though I do miss J and Eli's solo bits.)

Details:

title: Elvira

original performers: The Oak Ridge Boys

written by: Dallas Frazier

arranged by: Geoff Castellucci

performance date: 14 March 2019

My favorite bits:

that first beefy bass note

the "Earl can go low, too" gag

that fantastic riff, and the audience's inability to replicate it

the lovely ascending dissonance of ♫ ⇗ "on fi-i-i-rrre" ⇗ ♫

extended beard stroking

and, of course, that big ending

Trivia:

This piece was an enduring favorite in VoicePlay's live shows for many years.

They have never made a video for it because the audience reaction is such an integral part of the performance, but there is an audio recording available to their Patreon patrons.

.

This video is also pretty choppy, containing excerpts from three different numbers. But those pieces are all performed with the boys' usual skill and flair.

Details:

title: clips — aca-Disney mashup // "Panic! in 4 Minutes, part 1" medley // "My Shot" from Hamilton

original songs / performers: "Arabian Nights" by James Monroe Iglehart as the Genie and the cast of Aladdin (2014); "Fireball" by Pitbull, featuring John Ryan // [0:15] "Miss Jackson" by Panic! at the Disco feat. Lolo; [0:35] "The Ballad of Mona Lisa" by Panic! at the Disco // [0:47] "My Shot" by the cast of Hamilton: An American Musical (2015)

written by: "Arabian Nights" by Alan Menken & Tim Rice; "Fireball" by Armando "Pitbull" Perez, "John the Blind" Ryan, Andreas Schuller, Ricky Reed, Joe Spargur, Tom Peyton, & Ilsey Juber; "Miss Jackson" by Brendon Urie, Dallon Weekes, Lauren "Lolo" Pritchard, Jake Sinclair, Amir Jerome Salem, & Alex Goose; "The Ballad of Mona Lisa" by Brendon Urie, Spencer Smith, Butch Walker, & John Feldmann; "My Shot" by Lin-Manuel Miranda & Alex Lacamoire

arranged by: "aca-Disney" by VoicePlay; "Panic! in 4 Minutes" by Layne Stein & Earl Elkins, Jr.; "My Shot" by Layne Stein

performance date: 14 March 2019

My favorite bits:

Eli's big old belt, and the other four bopping in sync 🕺🕺🕺🕺

the smooth hand-off from Eli to J.None during the transition from "Miss Jackson" to "Mona Lisa"

that lovely rising harmony contrasting Geoff's big drop

Layne's precise cadence at the beginning of "My Shot"

Trivia:

The "aca-Disney" mashup was created as a collaboration with Disney On Broadway as part of their 20th anniversary in 2014.

Their "Panic! in 4 Minutes" medley was released in two parts the previous summer.

Their cover of "My Shot" was released shortly before the 2016 Tony Awards, at which Hamilton took home awards in 11 categories.

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This video actually contains the full number! The twist is that the boys aren't in their usual configuration for "Aca Top 10" countdowns with chairs and mic stands. They're on their feet and moving around as they pass the lead vocals between them.

Details:

title: Aca Top 10 – Bro Country

original songs / performers: [0:10] "Truck Yeah" by Tim McGraw; [0:37] "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy" by Kenny Chesney; [0:55] "Online" by Brad Paisley; [1:10] "Dirt Road Anthem" by Jason Aldean; [1:31] "Corn Star" by Craig Morgan; [1:54] "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off" by Joe Nichols; [2:15] "Red Solo Cup" by Toby Keith; [2:37] "Cruise" by Florida Georgia Line; [2:44] "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk" by Trace Adkins; [3:06] "Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy)" by Big & Rich

written by: "Truck Yeah" by Chris Lucas, Preston Brust, Chris Janson, & Danny Myrick; "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy" by Jim Collins & Paul Overstreet; "Online" by Chris DuBois, Kelley Lovelace, & Brad Paisley; "Dirt Road Anthem" by Brantley Gilbert & Colt Ford; "Corn Star" by Jeffrey Steele, Shane Minor & Craig Morgan; "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off" by Gary Hannan & John Wiggins; "Red Solo Cup" by Brett Beavers, Jim Beavers, Brad Warren, & Brett Warren; "Cruise" by Florida Georgia Line, Joey Moi, Chase Rice, & Jesse Rice; "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk" by Dallas Davidson, Randy Houser, & Jamey Johnson; "Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy)" by William Kenneth "Big Kenny" Alphin & John Rich

arranged by: Layne Stein & Geoff Castellucci

performance date: 14 March 2019

My favorite bits:

the way J.None interacts with his harmonic partners

the slow layering in the second half of "Dirt Road Anthem"

Eli conducting Earl and J's glissando in "Corn Star"

Earl's sweet whistling for "Red Solo Cup"

the fun video game sounds Layne makes after Geoff sings ♫ "Donkey Kong" ♫

everyone's coordinated galloping

that cool stuttering descent

Trivia:

The guys originally filmed their music video for this medley with guest singer Chris Rupp in July 2016.

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This is just one brief clip, but I couldn't resist including it because it's from their "Road Trip" skit, which is always fun.

Details:

title: Road Trip excerpt

original songs / performers: "Why Can’t We Be Friends" by War; "That Smell" by Lynyrd Skynyrd

written by: "Why Can't We Be Friends?" by Papa Dee Allen, Harold Ray Brown, B.B. Dickerson, Lonnie Jordan, Charles Miller, Lee Oskar, Howard E. Scott, & Jerry Goldstein; "That Smell" by Allen Collins & Ronnie Van Zant

arranged by: Geoff Castellucci

performance date: 14 March 2019

My favorite bits:

There's not much to say about this one, since it's so short. Go watch the full professionally filmed version for context.

Trivia:

This piece had been a part of their repertoire since the 4:2:Five days, but they didn't release a video of it until they had the opportunity to capture it live during the 2014 Sing-Off tour.

[chemicalbrew]

2023 game list, part 2: more like one game six+ times 🥉

I'll be honest: I separated this year's list into two parts mostly for ease of editing (the first part had ten lengthy entries I got tired of scrolling past long ago), but also... I thought it would be nice to have a clear divide between games I was not quite happy with and the few games that managed to impress me this year. If for some reason you want to see me being salty first, you can click here, but other than that... we're good to get this show on the road!

Ys IX: Monstrum Nox (PC, 2019; 2021 port) [♪ New Life]

This one will be more of a rapid-fire ramble, because, even though I enjoyed the game and am willing to defend certain aspects of it, there's little doubt that it's one of this series' weaker outings. Really, it making it onto the second half of the list is mostly due to bias and the fact that this series' core systems (most of which any Ys fan is painfully familiar with) are consistently good, mindless fun. Anyway, here's my more scattered thoughts I can't be bothered to stitch together:

The soundtrack is mostly an obvious downgrade and largely forgettable - literally the only tracks that stayed with me even a little are the one linked and, surprisingly, Marionette, Marionette, but that's to be expected of nu-Falcom :(

The amount of references to past games Monstrum Nox has shows good self-awareness and is something I was absolutely not expecting. I'm just familiar enough with Ys to pick up on most of them, so I wonder how subtle they are for those without the knowledge.

I actually loved being confined inside Balduq and forced to explore every nook and cranny of it, even more so because of how it contrasts with the openness of Ys 8. They pulled no stops when it came to committing to the aesthetic, and I was caught off guard with how much I liked it all. A highlight to me is the graffiti you can find all over the streets!

The new gift abilities greatly expand traversal options, even if implementation of them is not exactly free-form. A bold idea and one I enjoyed greatly. Otherwise, there isn't much major change in how exploration and battling works from 8, but there really doesn't need to be, I think. They fixed the fucking raid mechanic, and that's all that matters - even if the equivalent of it feels horribly tacked on.

Most people would say the Monstrum designs are over the top, but I personally don't care. They all slap, especially Doll and Adol himself, of course (I was ogling that long hair even before the game came out, hell yeah). As for their personal arcs, nothing really stands out the way Dana did in 8, despite each character getting their own time to shine, but I can forgive an Ys game for not bothering with complex characters. In particular, the development surrounding Jules and the conundrum with his disabilities, while somewhat barebones, didn't feel disrespectful at all and was a super pleasant surprise.

(screenshot that doesn't have much to do with anything, I just liked it)

The homunculus twist at the end of the game came out of nowhere and ruined my final impression of the story greatly. That's all, really.

Chained Echoes (PC, 2022) [♪ Standing Tall]

One of my clearest memories of Chained Echoes is the amount of people I'd seen among circles of RPG fans crying out last December that this is the game that was going to snatch the title of GOTY right from everyone's noses. Admittedly, this is one of those silly cases where I recall being intrigued by the name of the game alone (how often does that even happen these days?), and the rest was just a bonus - yes, even the impressive pixel art and soundtrack.

This makes me think I'd had healthier expectations of this game than most people, but even then… The truth of the matter is that Chained Echoes will never leave the shadows of the classics from the 90s it proudly claims to be inspired by. In trying to make itself stand out and match its own ambitions, it forgets itself and fails to leave a lasting impression - I can certainly say I enjoyed the time I spent, but when I remember more about fighting sentient vegetables than how the game actually ended, something is obviously wrong.

Now, I loved smacking the hell out of those vegetables - the battle system is decently refined for the most part, and values your time greatly. To me, the most notable features of the process are those shamelessly taken from Chrono Cross, and for good reason: if there's anything that game nailed, it's the on-field enemy encounters, automatic resource restoration between battles, and what's probably one of its more well-known ideas - lack of EXP in a conventional sense. Chained Echoes wholeheartedly embraces those conveniences, almost as if to ask 'Why isn't all this standard yet? It's the 2020s!', and I find myself agreeing. The unique systems this game presents on top of everything are hit or miss (particularly the mech combat, the part that remains grindy through the dumb proficiency system), and combat may not be perfectly balanced (if you weren't shredding through mobs with Sierra, what were you even doing?), but… Everything surrounding combat just felt so full of fresh potential, and took so little time besides, with the already quick animations whooshing by at the press of a button, that it was extremely easy to forgive any faults.

There are many creative changes made out of battle as well - the most interesting of them being the reward board. It's simple to explain - very early into the game, you unlock a list of objectives spanning the entire world map, laid out on a grid. The tasks themselves range from 'enter the area' and 'beat this specific monster type' to 'beat a miniboss without taking damage' and 'open every single chest you can find'. The cool part is that, while each square provides a reward on its own, there are bigger fish to fry, as there's a separate list of items you get by filling out squares adjacent to each other! It's genuinely impressive how effective this elegant system is at getting you to engage with the world you explore… at least until you realize how ridiculous the late-game tasks can get. And even here, there are misguided ideas that threaten to ruin the gameplay flow - for example, the gem system, that was likely inspired by its simple and functional counterpart in Xenoblade 1, is exceedingly convoluted and involves lots of boring fishing for item drops for somewhat negligible advantages.

It's when the game stops copying the greats that bigger cracks begin to show, though. As a whole, Echoes' writing is a weak point - both because it seems to favor shock value and piles of barely logical twists over anything coherent towards the finish line, and because this game's sole creator took great pains to write the script entirely by himself, in a language that's not his own (guy's from Germany, if I remember correctly). Being bilingual myself, I'd like to say I can imagine how much of a struggle that must have been, and you seriously have to respect the hustle, but it doesn't mean that the end result of all those efforts isn't faulty and should be safe from criticism.

This is a game that very clearly would have benefited from just one more person looking over the script and flow of the plot - if practically every main party member winds up traumadumping to keep the player's attention as tropes they'd probably seen in Chrono Trigger before play out… once again, something has gone terribly wrong, especially since most of said characters weren't too appealing in the first place. This makes Chained Echoes one of the RPGs where the G part is stronger than the RP part, for better or for worse. But it's fun while it lasts, and not the worst way to spend 40 or so hours!

Pokemon Black (DS, 2011) [♪ Relic Castle]

Everything went precisely as I predicted, with the exact problems I imagined I would have, but I finally managed to find the mystery of what makes the series tick for people, both on a general and personal level. Pokemon has spat on some of my detrimental gaming tendencies (as in, the urge to explore everywhere that exists and obtain everything that moves) and in the same breath provided an experience that, in all its flaws, either objective ones or stemming from my own misunderstandings, proved to be surprising at every turn. It's, uh, really cool.

Now here is a funny thing: I cheated. In the literal sense. And I did that a lot. Here's what I used in Black, just cause I can put it out there:

full exp share without needing to swap your whole team in (they should just make this a toggle in the settings, the fact that they never have, not even in newer entries, is baffling.)

forcing any Pokemon within the regional dex to spawn. I probably wouldn't do it ever again, cause now that I understand what Pokemon wants to be, I also see there's really no point to forcing Pokemon to appear just to box them - it's harder to get any sort of bond with your creatures going that way. In addition, a lot of the alternate Pokemon at least get shown off in mandatory fights, so there was no point fretting over not getting to see them (you have no clue how happy I was to see N with Reuniclus, it just felt so right). The series is lying to you - the real joys are NOT in catching them all.

Season switcher (since I played 90% of the game in December, and it took less than a month to beat, it kinda sucked seeing the dreary winter variants all the time. I don't really blame the feature itself, it's just that I don't like real-time-sensitive things in games - especially when they're linked to unique rewards. I loved Deerling and the concept behind it, but just because it was December, I'd have been robbed of its illegally adorable spring variant without cheats! Boo.)

Spawning phenomena and random encounters at the press of a button. Probably the key improvement to the experience! Call me spoiled by modern RPGs, but I have grown from disliking pure random encounters to disdaining them, and this allowed me to segregate area exploration (which was enjoyable in its simplicity and layering through the dowsing machine) and making sure my catching and leveling is up to par while I chill out listening to different pieces from this game on loop or catching up with a stream - two goals that, to me, kinda don't mesh that well on their own. Especially with the normally horrible phenomena appearance rate.

Suffice it to say, my experience with this game was not quite the intended one, but I am still glad for it - it allowed me to get over my preconceptions and expectations of this storied series and, at least to some extent, prepared me for whatever entry I will choose to engage with next (likely Black 2). Next time, I won't be bending the game to my whims quite as much, but I feel like my frustrations with this series heavily relying on missable content will always remain.

With this silly kind of disclaimer out of the way, let's try to talk about Pokemon Black itself. The first thing I remember is just how linear it was - you walk through route after route and claim one badge after another until you find yourself facing the champion, which is where the game finally pulls its rug from under your feet. By now, it should be obvious that I enjoy not having to fuss over what to do next, so I found this to be a boon, but I could absolutely understand longtime fans being irritated by how little choice you have in matters.

Speaking of which, Unova robs you of choices in another infamous way - for the duration of the main story, you're forced to use the new additions to the Pokedex. Once again, this is something that bothered me less than it would most people, doubly so because a lot of the seemingly commonly hated new (for their time) designs actually appealed to me a fair bit. If there's only one Trubbish and Vanilluxe fan on this earth, it's me, or however that meme went - I would give my limb and soul for object Pokemon, I think that's one of the best ideas of the series ever.

The graphics certainly aren't much to write home about and didn't truly age gracefully, but nonetheless, they likely stand the test of time better than the entries following would, and are more than serviceable. With sweeping camera angles, detailed Pokemon sprites and larger-than-life vistas greeting you as you bike from town to town, it's clear this game wanted nothing more than to impress players, and I'd argue that it succeeded, given the timeframe of release, and especially the region Unova was inspired by.

The music, however, is where the game really shines - with town themes ranging from sweet and cozy to ones that end up never quite leaving your mind (remember how Driftveil City became a huge meme? Oddly, I feel like that's enough proof of how awesome the soundtrack is), character themes that feel tailor-made and convey more about them than their own dialogue sometimes, and sufficiently catchy battle music (with the standouts, of course, being reserved for the more… legendary encounters).

When it comes to the story, I... appreciate it existing. It was what I came to this game for, but I ended up staying more so for the team that I lovingly chose for myself and that carried me from dungeon to dungeon. It's not bad by any means, and I can see why people want the series to even try something like this again, but what's bold for this series is overdone for many others.

That said, they really nailed basically everything about N, dear god. I love him so much. And while I might not be familiar with how the series usually handles rival characters, I enjoyed getting to compare and contrast between Cheren and Bianca's personal struggles. Cheren's theme is a banger, to boot.

PS. I hope whoever decided Volcarona should evolve at level 59 explodes somewhere, that was NOT worth it.

Shin Megami Tensei IV (3DS, 2013) [♪ Aboveground Urban Area C]

BEHOLD, MY DEMONS! (pictured: not demons)

Holy shit, an actually fun dungeon crawler from the company behind the ever so boring Etrian Odyssey that I decided to play only thanks to Tumblr memeing on the glorious Black Market theme? Who woulda thunk.

If you say you play this game for the plot, I will not believe you. I'm here for the character design (equal parts silly and god-tier, which, going by my opinion on Xenoblade 2, is just what the doctor ordered), the surprisingly exhilarating kill-or-be-killed battle system designed around finding and capitalizing on weaknesses, coupled with the distinct gameplay loop of fighting, coercing and fusing demons, the incredible atmosphere every grossly pixelated texture seems to ooze, and most of all, what might be one of the greatest soundtracks in all of gaming, to me.

The music is what single-handedly turns what would otherwise be a forgettable, convoluted and at times almost offensive experience into something outstanding. Combined with the broad strokes with which SMT4 sets up and gradually expands its setting, it's jaw-dropping just how big of an impression the game can leave you with while utilizing what feels like the bare minimum in terms of visuals (I mean this in the best way possible! I love when games make the most of their limited resources). It's a shame, then, that these two qualities practically carry the game on their back, riddled with flaws as it otherwise is.

Seriously though, the storylines manage to be simultaneously straightforward and messy somehow, to the point where even the self-proposed 'golden' route is easily questioned by a player who's willing to give it a minute of thought. There's enough to latch onto here for impressionable people, but the truth is, SMT4 loves to oversimplify complex matters in favor of haphazardly committing to extremes, which in turn ruins its leading characters - each in their own way, as they refuse to grow and develop most predictably, even if you go out of your way to give them a chance.

(how the fuck are you supposed to take a game that has this textbox in it seriously? This is divinity talking, you know)

The worst part about it all is that while it's you, your player character, influencing the world, you're not really given an explanation of how your actions change things until it's already too late and you're left on your own to gape at how you trying to be nice to people actually led to what's functionally an elitist genocide. That is, if you weren't like me and didn't end the game prematurely with the ending that wipes out everyone instead of most people that are baselessly declared filthy and unclean. And if you want to see a path that pretends to be more reasonable, you have to use a guide and jump through hoops and fetch quests beforehand. Yeah, sure, that's fine.

I'm sure there are many more things people more familiar with SMT could critique when it comes to this entry (especially since I mentioned nothing about the Chaos route, which I frankly don't remember), but the fact that even me, a complete newcomer to the series, ended up less than impressed with SMT4's overall message... has to say something, no?

And yet, the experience remains unique and, in the most literal sense of the word, addictive. Maybe it's just my monkey brain willing to give games a pass if their mechanics click with me hard enough, but... It's fun to explore a kingdom and city in turn, to uncover bits and bobs on your map as you hunt for relics, to overwhelm your enemy in a single Press Turn, and even to get lost in the horribly designed Domains, all the while the literal coolest music you've heard in your life keeps playing. And soon enough, you come to feel that strange familiarity and comfort as go through the motions and backtrack to Mikado for the 100th time.

I'll be honest, this shit is why I yearn for more dungeon crawlers to love (that aren't just Brandish...) all the time. Hopefully I'll eventually man up and play another entry in this series, so I can better understand what the core fanbase appreciates and wants from Shin Megami Tensei as a whole.

Octopath Traveler II (PC, 2023) [♪ Cait's Theme]

(Someone tell me who had to sell their soul to make such gorgeous boss sprites...)

I missed my chance to engage with OT1 back in the day (mostly because I was put off by middling reviews), so to see the series spring back to relevance this year was actually a lovely surprise, especially with me gaining appreciation for HD-2D after playing Live A Live. It really felt like everything had aligned for me to get the most out of Octopath 2! Even more so because this game is a shining example of how to iterate on a sequel.

Most fans say there's barely any reason to return to 1 after playing 2, and they're frankly right. It would be harder to say what 2 did not improve on than to list all the positive changes! But here I am, trying to explain just how many elements had to combine to create my actual favorite RPG of the year. Here we go!

First off, this is the prettiest HD-2D game yet, pulling all the stops when it comes to polishing the style. There are more refined details in the scenery, every sprite looks buttery smooth, and with the new day and night cycle, OT2 is extremely eager to show off just what its lighting engine is capable of. This game is simply a treat to look at no matter what you're doing, and the soundtrack matches the ambition it exhibits.

There are more voiced cutscenes than before and you can let them autoplay - a small but vital quality of life change. The main stories have a decently varied structure compared to the previous game's rigid formulas, and the sidequests generally value quality over quantity (though they're still not much to write home about, and they're a pain in the ass to actually find and keep track of - this game has the most useless journal of any RPG).

One of the core elements of the battle system - the jobs your characters can use - are rebalanced and made easier to understand, and there's more of them to discover for yourself. As a whole, the tools you get to use in battle are greatly expanded, but more on that in a bit.

Lastly, it's easier to witness the cast interact, because they fixed the travel banter system! (Can't believe they made so much of what makes these characters likeable so easy to miss before...) There's more of these interactions to see, too - Crossed Paths, quests tailored to specific character pairings, are a genius addition to the game, if somewhat underutilized. They actually bothered to try and tie the eight stories together, as well, compared to the pathetic whimper the first game ends with! Though whether the attempt was successful is debatable, what's there is not half bad.

While I do believe I would have laid my eyes on this game eventually no matter what, due to the praise it's been getting in circles of RPG fans (I wish OT was more recognized than it already is, even if it is decently popular. The potential the series has is off the charts), what really pushed me was Hikari's very existence. One look at him, and you just know he's gonna be involved in an epic struggle and have to fight for his friends - and that's exactly what he does. It's glorious, and fits the overall message\vibe of the series - that is to say, getting to go on a journey and find new friends for your cause and new experiences - exceptionally well. This is why I, and most people, would probably recommend you start with him, though of course, you're free to do what you want.

Being relatively free to explore instead of roped along to go places like a traditional RPG would is a double-edged sword, especially because Octopath locks in your first chosen character, so they usually get overleveled, but at the same time the game expects you to have a functional (evenly geared and leveled) party of eight by endgame, which you might not be aware of and only have four peeps prepared. This could be solved with a simple toggle to give benched party members the same amount of EXP, or - and they literally do this in the endgame, so why not before?! - let us freely swap any time instead of only getting to do it in towns.

On the other hand, getting to watch eight (seemingly) disjointed stories unfold makes for a refreshing experience where you never know what (or who, at first) you will find. The travelers are divided half and half between two continents, but on my run I screwed it up - I got really curious about what's up north, which led to me finding Osvald early (and his chapter 1 warning scared the crap out of me for no reason, lol), so three characters were from the west and one was from the east. It's not nearly as big of a deal as I make it sound, especially later on with more options available, but before you discover such things and adjust yourself to what the game wants from you, it can feel quite challenging.

Speaking of challenging, I loved how the battle system in this game works - even if it's your typical turn-based bells and whistles with a job system attached, at least at first glance. The jobs themselves, while probably not groundbreaking or anything, still succeed in giving the party members their own ways to shine and even diversifying their movesets, thanks to the mechanic that lets you freely mix and match jobs! You can optimize to your heart's content, or mess around and go with the prettiest outfits.

(look at them!! just look!!)

The bread and butter of this series, however, the Thing it does to distinguish itself from myriads of other turn-based games, is the Break and Boost systems.

Break is simple enough to explain - each enemy you face boasts a certain number of shields, and before you figure out their weaknesses and break through, you're unlikely to deal any significant damage. Finding weak points can be cumbersome at times, especially if you don't have a Scholar to reveal them for you (I admit to looking them up occasionally instead of wasting SP\BP with Analyze), but it still doesn't take too much time, even less if you know the one trick to it. And your reward for doing so is getting a free turn to dish out damage (or set up buff combos)!

Boosting is an entirely different matter, though. In addition to the usual health and skill points, your party members gain a boost point each turn (provided they didn't use them on the last turn). You can have up to five points in reserve, and you can use up to three in a single turn to augment your chosen move - from simple damage increases to attacking multiple times in a turn (to break shields faster) to making buffs and debuffs last longer… basically everything gets much better if you boost. There are even special moves called Divine Skills that require 3 BP to use in the first place, and funnily enough, they range from game-breaking to actually kind of pathetic.

What's more, each character has special actions in and out of battle that are mostly unique to them - for example, Castti, the apothecary, can concoct powerful brews to aid you or damage the enemy, and in towns, she can chat up NPCs to get information by day or put them to sleep with specialized herbs by night. Meanwhile Hikari, the warrior, can learn skills no one else can by fighting NPCs one-on-one, which can be extraordinarily useful or... something like this:

The NPCs themselves don't seem too impressive at first, but as you make use of your characters' Path Actions, you realize that most of them have a small story to tell almost entirely through game mechanics, reminding you how vital worldbuilding is to an open-ended game like this. Robbing children of candy with Throne or getting to uncover short, but ridiculously dark backstories with Osvald never got old.

OT2 adds a cherry on top of all these layers by giving each party member another unique move in Latent Powers, which, too, can be either ridiculously overpowered (hello, free concocting?! why yes, I want to give my entire party 2000 HP, 200 SP and 1 BP at literally zero cost!) or incredibly niche (Osvald really got the short end of the stick here - you're better off boosting his actual spells than using his latent, which at best is only useful when Mugging and feels like an afterthought.).

And before all of that even starts, you have to pay attention to how you kit out your party. It's not just about what equipment has the bigger numbers - you need to consider its secondary effects, too, but more importantly, you need to pick the right secondary jobs to have a party that's truly well-rounded. If you explore the world thoroughly enough to unlock lots of job licenses, the sky's your limit, really - but the idea is to have a healthy balance between weapon types and skills while playing into each character's natural strengths.

You'd think having to make so many choices would feel overwhelming, but there's plenty of opportunities for the player to acclimate to the system and make it work for them. And they better learn the ropes quickly, because in boss battles, Octopath expects them to use every one of the tools they have. The game doesn't really go out of its way to explain how your skills can synergize to wreak havoc upon anything that stands in your way (sometimes before the enemy even gets a chance to act!), lending a sort of simple and pure joy to the moment when it all just clicks, when you begin to try out one bonkers combination after the other (does Critical Scope work on magic spells? Just how powerful is poison in Challenge fights? If I make Osvald a thief, will he still hit the damage cap with Aeber's Reckoning?), and they all just… work. Before that point, the game isn't afraid to kick your confused ass to the game over screen, but if you experiment, it won't be too long before you emerge victorious every time. To be rewarded like this for taking in your every option is immensely satisfying.

I also have to give a shout-out to the voice work done for all these battles specifically - every character gets a unique line for every move in every class, and they react to fellow party members breaking enemies or getting low on health. Really, the amount of detail in this one specific regard is just insane. Add to this the fact that you can fight at double speed with a press of a button (sure, this is nothing compared to how 6x turbo mode in Trails spoils you, but it's better than nothing, and for a game like this, it's enough), and battles in OT2 flow like a spring breeze, especially since, due to gear mattering more than level, you're not really encouraged to grind throughout the main story… or stories, as it were.

You'll have to forgive me for spending so long rambling about gameplay intricacies before getting to the game's actual draw - the eight different plots it offers you and the open-ended structure that comes from it. The truth is, most of these stories start out with a bang, but few of them have really enjoyable resolutions, and even less will manage to impress seasoned players.

Not to mention that, aside from the skit-like travel banter, they're completely isolated from one another, further lending to the feeling that your party members are less characters and more movesets. This is likely the most common complaint the series gets, and I have to say, it felt odd at first to me as well, but by now I'm a little tired of seeing people rag on the lack of connection between the stories. Having smaller vignette-like stories instead of an overarching plot is something you never see other RPGs do nowadays, it's one of Octopath's selling points, it's practically its beating heart, and it's something done with purpose. An artistic choice not being something you're used to is no reason to completely disregard it, even if there's room to grow and improve.

And plenty of room there is - while the stories have enough meat to them to enjoy what's happening in the moment, the boss fights in them are as cool as always, and the voice work accompanying all of the scenes is just lovely (though it can be poorly mixed on occasion - looking at you, Ori!), the core of the individual tales is usually somewhat basic and a little underdeveloped, if not downright nonsensical. Ochette's story could probably be put in a Pokemon game with very little changes, and, sorry to say, I don't mean that as a compliment. Having the plot revolve around catching legendary creatures to save the world had me mostly snoozing, controller in hand.

Or take, for example, Partitio and his charming, resourceful butt. It's hard not to love him, but if you think about what he's doing for more than a moment, it doesn't quite make sense - how do you go about squashing capitalism on the entire continent on your own, much less by ushering the world into the industrial era? Isn't that having too much faith in people?

Even Hikari, who started as my favorite and ended just the same (Howard Wang killed it as his voice actor, let's be real), doesn't have a particularly compelling plot going on. His story of having to take off to reclaim his kingdom is, I'd wager, one with more wasted potential than others, given how the whole cursed bloodline subplot just went nowhere. And don't get me started with Throne - I got spoiled on what happened at the end of her story and refused to believe it until the farce was staring me right in the face.

The exception to this would probably be Castti, whose tale of self-discovery and determination, while still playing out by the books, ended up genuinely touching all the same, with a natural escalation of the stakes in it and a wonderful conclusion that integrates gameplay mechanics particularly well, having you personally concoct the remedy to save a whole region and give them peace.

The one thing that elevates every one of these plots, every failure and success of this game, is its soundtrack. I'm not sure if I wholeheartedly prefer this OST to the first game, but they're both just outstanding. While it was easy for me to pick a single favorite to show off, it's hard to overstate just how awesome Yasunori Nishiki's work is as a whole, and we'd be here all day were I to keep pointing out the majority of the music as the masterpiece it is. The themes for various locations are lovingly crafted to suit the mood, with an awesome choice to add ethereal vocals for some of the night themes to make it more atmospheric (my favorites are Roque Island, Tropu'hopu, and, of course, the kingdom of Ku), and the character themes are particularly well thought out, expanding on their personalities in ways the text never quite could. Shout-out to both Agnea's theme and her Song of Hope, and the ways they tie her whole plotline together!

Octopath Traveler II turned out to be my sleeper hit of 2023, and has done so much more for me than I expected it to. Now there's nothing left for me but to yearn for an even more polished and expansive continuation to the series!

A Hat in Time (PC, 2017) [♪ Heating Up Mafia Town]

I feel like I owe much of my enjoyment of this game to my inexperience. 3D platforming is one of those genres that is practically integral to gaming itself (and collectathons, more specifically, are niche only in the most technical sense), yet before playing A Hat in Time I'd refused to engage with anything of the sort out of sheer principle. "What fun is there in getting perpetually lost while trying to hunt for pointless thingamajigs scattered all over?", I'd think to myself. I'd see people online wax poetic about the old classics like Banjo and Spyro and such and find it all completely incomprehensible.

In comes Hat Kid, and from the word go it's obvious that the name of her game is… silliness. After all, the question isn't 'why should you sow fear in mafia goons and crash onto filming sets', it's 'why shouldn't you do that?'. And as you get roped in by the absurdity of these subplots thrown at you, with so many NPCs having a goofy one-liner or three to say, you realize that behind these layers of charm are solidly crafted sandboxes for you to just enjoy yourself in, coupled with delightful sections that are, for all intents and purposes, obstacle courses.

I enjoyed the latter much more, as I tend to do, but they're two different sides of the same great coin, so to speak. And aside from a couple specific levels that gave me a headache (like the long-ass parade level, the infamous Alpine Skyline hub with how long traversal takes in it, and ESPECIALLY The Twilight Bell. Holy shit, that one just wasn't fun for me after a while), exploration was rewarding, and pretty smooth sailing - with good variation in level structure and near endless attention to detail (be ready to sit there like 'they made a unique animation just for that?!').

A part of what made it so easy to enjoy was how simple the movement in this game is - what you have at your disposal is, essentially, a double jump and a dive, which can be canceled out of. That makes it great for someone like me, who still fears being forced to get acquainted with a complex control scheme in a game with movement as the focus (the 'why press three buttons when one would do' approach), but at the same time… it means that there's only one optimal way to move through the world quickly, so dozens of hours in, I felt as if I could repeat the button combination endlessly in my sleep.

Sure, there's badges that can change your experience substantially - making you dash faster, or turn into an ice statue in lieu of a ground pound, or use a goddamn hookshot, or a bunch of other things, but… having only three slots for them, and knowing one of them will probably be always taken by something like the No Bonk badge (which feels like an essential quality of life feature) is severely limiting. I would love it if there were more slots to prevent constantly having to compromise and switch badges around… or a slightly expanded base moveset for Hat Kid.

On a more positive note, I loved the more tightly directed and difficult experiences that the optional Time Rifts offered. Finding them might not have been half as fun as clearing them, but the reward was more than worth it almost every time. And that's to say nothing of the game's presentation, which is sublime in how stylish it is. I could see people being set off by how the art style feels purposely crude at times, but personally, I couldn't care about that less - it only adds to the charm, in fact.

The music, meanwhile, is peppy and upbeat every step of the way, and fits the mood of the game perfectly. Even though you find yourself revisiting the same levels numerous times, there are always new versions of the tracks you've come to like, and neat twists to the traversal process - it's obvious how much A Hat in Time wants you to relax, be entertained, and enjoy the ride. That might come at the cost of it not telling a particularly gripping story, but it's hard to hold that against the game. Sometimes you just want to bonk mafia goons on the head for a while, you know?

Tower of Heaven (PC - Flash, 2009) [♪ Indignant Divinity]

There is no prize as precious as that which you have lost.

Tower of Heaven, to me, is about going back to the roots - in the literal sense, as your character gets cast down and smitten by lightning over and over, and in a sense that's more meta, as there's definitely a sort of through-line puncturing the developer's offerings; one that presents itself in subtle ways, but is plain to see regardless with every game you boot up, and every death that makes you chuckle at your own subpar execution. So, in essence, me playing this platformer (on my birthday, no less! good to know there's something you can rely on even on otherwise middling days) became this experience about paying respects to foundations laid in the past so I could better appreciate the legacy they leave in the future.

It's kind of a tall ask for a game this small and niche (and Flash having been murdered in cold blood absolutely does not help! Everyone say thanks to that one post about Flashpoint that was making rounds back in the day, it made my mission to experience this game that much easier!!!), and I do admit to over-exaggerating the feeling, but still, it's hard not to feel affected in any way, as insignificant as it may be, while playing Tower of Heaven. The presentation is subdued and few words, and hours, are spared to explain your situation. It's just you, the blocks and doors that comprise simple levels in front of you... and a godly force seeking to work you hard as you try to go ever higher.

But as you walk through the first door on your way, the soulful music kicks in and begins to swell (if I were any more nerdy, this game would have probably become my favorite example of leitmotif usage at the drop of a hat. People who complain about this soundtrack are cowards), and your journey starts to grow more complex, little by little. As the levels slowly expand, so do the rules the mysterious force encumbers you with - combining to demand you make a singular, perfect path forward for yourself. This feeling of honesty and straightforwardness between designer and player is one of the key things this developer simply never fails at, and a part of what made me fall in love with it all in the first place.

The twists along the way may be small, but none of them feel like a waste, and as the game comes to an end, a familiar theme of standing up for yourself and facing a world unknown comes to the surface, and you can't help but feel... accomplished, if only a little. It was you who started this journey and you who brought it to its inevitable end, after all! But when you see the credits, plainly stating your basic stats, you might gawk a little. Secret rooms? What secret rooms?

With that simple move, you're encouraged to spend just a little while more - looking around, polishing your movement, paying more attention. It's not like the secrets are hard to find (or are, indeed, worth anything - it's incredibly fitting that the rooms contain treasure that is of no tangible worth to the player), but it's the fact that they were there all along that elevates the experience.

Tower of Heaven might not have much to say, but it says what it has to gracefully and concisely, in ways that many other games simply do not. And even as you inevitably fall, it makes you remember - there's always somewhere to go. Always a place to make for yourself. No matter who might be saying otherwise.

Pause Ahead (PC - Flash, 2013) [♪ Hiatus]

In many ways, this game is treading familiar grounds, but it manages to expand upon them gracefully. There's a greater sense of mystery to this one, and a lovely meta-narrative that never feels overbearing - not to mention the obvious difference in presentation and the gameplay change Pause Ahead is named after.

With a light tap of the Shift button, you can ground the level to a halt... while retaining momentum yourself. Knowing when to stop and go is key to making your way forward, as you're, once again, at times belittled and at other times besought by a mysterious voice. And, of course, you're free to simply abuse and spam this feature just to see the small easter eggs and jokes it hides. As should be by now expected, the little things like this make it feel like no time or space is wasted executing a small, but powerful concept, and iterating on it over time.

As you clear a stage, you are treated to a quick playback of all attempts you've suffered through to get this far, reminding you of your persistence and the power you wield in this strange, somehow lonely world. This may be little more than an escape attempt, but it's uniquely yours, and you're free to take your time with it as you please. This, coupled with small, but consistent details like the messages in the fake pause menu I mentioned, leads to a pleasant feeling that you're getting as much out of this game as you put in, and it's relishing your time spent with it as much as you do.

Just like I said before, there's something about the tight design of these compact experiences that is hard to find elsewhere - a sort of wordless understanding that gradually forms as you experiment with the small pool of options given, and manages to stick in your memory long after you put the game down. And that's to say nothing of the tiny, yet meaningful and insanely catchy soundtrack this game boasts, and the return of secrets to haunt you, this time even more expansive.

In just about every way, Pause Ahead is a solid hidden gem that doesn't ask much of you - at least, not outright - but gives you plenty in return: a challenge to overcome, a moody setting to enjoy, a feeling you'll be seeking and failing to find elsewhere for all time. ...or maybe it's just me?

OverPowered (PC, 2014) [♪ A True Hero and More]

I honestly think you should close this page right now and go beat this thing - I left you a link right there. I promise it won't take long, and I'm sure you'll come back with a smile on your face.

Obviously, the one thing that makes OverPowered really impressive is the time constraints it was made under - without them, it's probably just a blip on most people's radar, not even worth looking over.

Fortunately or not, I'm not most people, and I simply came into this little game looking for more of what I'd come to expect from the dev - enjoyable platforming, music that sounds like a balm to my ears (I still remember when I was doing research and I audibly went 'THAT flashygoodness?'), and witty humor that aims to subvert expectations - and succeeds every time. I got all of these things and a hearty chuckle or two, so I have no complaints.

Katana ZERO {again 💿💙} (PC, 2019) [♪ Silhouette]

Killing is the only time we're able to touch that thing we were never able to have.

What can I say? Katana ZERO is significant to me on a personal level, to an extent very few games, if any, ever have been at this point. A lot of this comes from the fact that I… knew it would be so, but at the same time had no clue. It's hard to explain - call it a gut feeling, but even in 2021 I knew there was something outstanding here, something I was tapping into, and even resonating with, but not quite as deeply as I could have been. That knowledge lingered, buzzed in the back of my mind like white noise - even as my hands would begin to ache from how much I'd been playing, how hard I'd been trying to open myself up to the game, even when the memories began to fade a little.

While I was playing, however, I was constantly aware I'd been ignoring the fine details, afraid to rise to the mechanical challenges the game offered, sometimes afraid to admit to myself how much I enjoyed KZ at all - as if it'd been a crime to recognize how it left me yearning in a haze few things can hope to match. When I tried to look back at it, I almost felt desperate to find some flaw, some excuse to lie to myself and mask the passion this game had awakened in me, for a time; and even then, I could only point to how the game's plot fizzles near the end in an attempt to set things up for the future that still hasn't come yet, eager to leave you with a feeling of uncertainty that stings all the more with how pointedly efficient KZ is about nearly everything else.

(see also: images that get funnier with time)

And even now, putting it to words, I just feel silly and dramatic - probably because, despite everything, a small part of me still feels inexplicable shame, thinks I ought not to be obsessed with something like this, something small and unfinished. An experience that some people (who are very wrong) would say is trying too hard.

It's not silly, though, and I have to remind myself of this often. Every time I come back to this game (and I've come back many times over the year - so many I lost count, including the refresher run I did last week, before writing this. It's amazing how much a passing, almost laughable thought can end up haunting you, but that's neither here nor there), I remember how much there is to love about it - how hard it is not to love it, when you realize just what it is you're dealing with, when everything slots into place and the world before you whirs to life in an almost literal fashion - and live it does, no matter what.

This is a story about finding choice where there is none. It's about discovering the truth, staring it in the face just as it has been watching over you, and resolving to do something about it - with whatever little means you have. Because what matters is trying. Without that, what can you do but remain trapped, objective unfulfilled?

But here's the thing: to most people, it's probably not quite like that. It's hard to describe something that hasn't finished telling itself, after all - but these days, that bothers me far less, if at all. If nothing else, it's hard not to appreciate the irony of it - not knowing the future when once you'd thought you'd all but had it. Even if this story's ending never sees the light of day, I feel like I've come to understand it far better, in its current state.

The unquantifiable, almost mythical extent to which KZ goes to immerse you in its world (or, at the very least, in Zero's shoes), if you let it, is one of its most important qualities. Everything this game does, from the more obvious mechanics like slightly branching dialogue options (with the lovely twist of being able to interrupt people) to the subtle touches like the way KZ uses vibration (one of the very few games to do it right, and I'll die on this hill), hides its (surprisingly plentiful, given its length) secrets in almost plain sight, or takes great care in the details of its entire user interface or goddamn dialogue formatting... it's all in the service of immersion, and that goal is masterfully achieved.

Even after spending more hours than most people would with this game, I keep discovering minute dialogue changes, tiny graphical touches, or new options to try that I can't help but smile at. Yes, some of it stems from the strange sort of fear I had that just... kinda prevented me from exploring, but not all - you'd be surprised at just what you can see if you pay attention to your choices.

And that's to say nothing of how pretty KZ manages to make everything look (and sound - you know you have a problem when you get attached to sound effects), how it perfectly walks the tightrope of letting every happening on screen breathe and speak for itself while still allowing it to remain a spectacle (look, I might not be an expert, but I love how this game frames its cutscenes and uses lighting to enhance things further). It tells you that every moment is precious - simply by wasting nothing itself.

Of course, there are more obvious ways the game respects you and your time: interrupting dialogue doesn't just lead to interesting results, but can also save a bit of time; there are a few clever skips (tied to secrets, as well) built into the levels themselves, and you have an option to respawn instantly when you restart a room (or at literally any time, if you bother to assign a quick restart button). This last thing I want to bring special attention to, because I think it spoiled me beyond belief (just look at me complaining about Celeste earlier!).

On top of this, something awesome that makes a return to Katana ZERO from its predecessors is a dedicated speedrun mode, allowing you to engage with the gameplay and practice on your own terms. And like in the other games, using it is in no way a requirement - while there is an achievement tied to speedrunning the game, nothing in the interface itself urges you to push yourself if you don't want to. The ranking system is as important as you allow it to be, and for my part, I'm mostly content with the meager results I got (bet you were wondering why I put that emoji in the title... hopefully it's clear now. If I get a silver ranking one day, I'll be beyond content.). More action games should aim to be as instantaneous and responsive in all aspects as KZ is, and I'm completely serious about this.

The last (but absolutely never the least) thing I want to bring up is the soundtrack. It's the piece in this elegant puzzle that makes everything come together, it makes every moment shine on its own merits and stay in your heart. It's easy to point to the more obviously appealing tracks that accompany you as you actually play, and the way they perfect tension and release (i.e. Delusive Bunker or the ever-so-awesome Overdose), but there's something to be said about the subtler pieces too. End of the Road never fails to tug at my heartstrings. Hell, hearing Come and See at the end of every run still makes me want to explode. And beyond that, well...

Have you listened to Chemical Brew yet? - Tumblr user chemicalbrew

To conclude, Katana ZERO may lack the universal appeal that true classics have, but I believe that at some point it will have carved out enough of a niche of itself to become a cult classic. I would love nothing more than to have a reason to feature this game on my list a third time (we'll have it one day. I'll keep waiting, this much I know), that's how much my love for it has grown. And, really… I hope it never diminishes.

PS. Believe in yourself! 👹 Also, if you're one of the people who has supported me this year as KZ made me descend into insanity, if you're one of the (surprisingly many) people who I managed to convince to give it a chance with my passion, thank you ever so much. And have a nice 2024!

[avoidaboo]

postgame red hcs because i cant stop thinking about him. also, MAJOR SPOILERS FOR BRC. IF YOU HAVENT PLAYED THE GAME YET AND PLAN THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS starting with expanding on the red and felix are two different people hc because i stole it and cant stop thinking about it Again, red and felix are two very different people, red got rebuilt with some left overs of the original cyberhead (which were big parts have you seen that cutscene) (which the flesh prince also had dont ask) after felix found his body in an alley while going to the hideout with everyone else and took it with him. since faux is dead and his head is basically lost, he saw no problem with it. the flesh prince stitched him up and kaboom. he is back. tho he only activated a few days after however, red has now MORE issues since hes now more robot than human. the public shutdowns (which are basically the times where he just fucking passes out in public, e.g. by eclipse. or even screaming before passing out, like by dj cyber). everytime that happens, he gets into one of those dream levels but now theyre WORSE. aka theyre nightmare levels now and going through the entire nightmare is the only way of him waking up when that happens. sometimes it takes him more than one real life days to actually wake up from it, so yeah people usually worry ALOT. they are trying to figure out why its so often more to the public shutdowns btw: a public shutdown is basically a cyberhead passing out out of nowhere, they mostly happen when severely stressed, heat or just any negative emotion being to strong. screaming before passing out only occurs when fear or stress back to dream (or nightmare levels). red pretty much has to conquer them to wake up again, those nightmare only consist of faux and felixs memories. they are only unpleasant if its through a public shutdown. otherwise they are completely fine and sometimes are his memories he made throughout the story. so yeah im not leaving him completely traumatized. now to general red hcs: red can literally just unscrew his head at any time when he wants to, how is he supposed to change clothes at all? cyberheads are pretty much able to go without food for days red will unscrew his head just to wash it. he needs help with it tho cuz he cant risk water getting into his circuity again he never gets tired of “so no head?” jokes due to being more of a robot now, red doesn’t understand stuff like “social norms” or shit like “gender”. neither does he really understand masculinity or femininity either. so what im saying is hes agender (basically has no gender) and is pansexual :D red copies bels texting behavior to even irl. speaking of bel, she taught him rollerblading too! also theyre best friends red sees felix like an older brother, i have no real explanation for this i just think its cute now one last thing, solace and red are so fruity i cannot goodbye i MIGHT update this list if i dont forget about it