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#just for this bit and sharing some music earlier because i miss doing it hehe ☺️
racingheadfirst · 1 year
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caty-catts · 2 years
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thighs and birthday | ksn.
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pairing: sunoo x gn!reader
TW: none (I think) it’s just fluff that started kinda suggesting but got out of control and become a fluffy cheesy corny monster
p.s. you may also listen to this playlist - it was the one that i was listening while writing it hehe
You and Sunoo both had a weird fixation on thighs. If you weren’t laying on his lap or touching his thighs in any form, it would be only because Sunoo is laying between your thighs.
Sunoo’s best memories of his relationship with you were almost all when he was between your thighs. The deep talks while laying in the bed and listening to soft music and the pit-a-pat of the rain outside. The console games you played, the movies and cartoons you watched. The food you shared with and feed him. The mock fights you two had that started because one of you bite the other’s thigh. 
Those were the memories that helped Sunoo to go through a lot. All moments were full of warmth, laughter, sunshine (even in the rainy days) and love.
It was also why he felt so down lately. Since you went abroad, Sunoo missed so much the closeness you both had. Even if the video calls helped to appease the sadness he felt over the distance between you, it still wasn’t enough.
It was almost half a year since you left and soon your birthday. The call on the night before your birthday was speacially touching. Sunoo wanted to be the first to congratulate you and see your smile. He ordered flowers and food to be delivered to you before the call, so you were speacially touched when he called you. You both eat while on call and even had time to catch up before midnight in your timezone.
While he sang you happy birthday you both were crying. After saying a last ‘I love you’ before ending the call you had a clear idea in your head.
You watched the couple photos you had on the wall and felt even more confident in your decision.
***
Sunoo wasn’t expecting anyone home. The late night visitor had to wait while he went on a mission to find some pants to put on and open the door. He really had no idea who was on the other side. Was it a delivery? But he didn’t ordered anything, right? Could it be that you did the same thing to him that he did to you?
Between putting those goddamn pants and yelling to wait a little bit, he found time to message you asking if you ordered a delivery to him as he did earlier.
Coincidentally, you were online and replied fast that yes and urged him to open the door and to tell afterwards what he thought of your surprise.
When he opened the door, you were smiling still looking at your phone. He was stupefied. He openly gaped at you and couldn’t believe his eyes. To confirm that it was indeed you, he directly called you. 
You were laughing and crying at the same time seeing his reaction. When you felt your phone vibrating, you couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Hello, love. Do you like your surprise?”
He didn’t even ended the call. The phone thumped on the floor while he was already spinning with you in his arms. At this point both of you were crying and laughing because the happiness of seeing, touching, feeling each other so close after so much time apart was overwhelming.
“Y/N~~ What are you doing here? Weren’t you supposed to be there for another six months?”
“I couldn’t help. I wanted you to be the last to wish me happy birthday. I really missed you, Sunoo.”
“I really missed you too, love. I’m so happy that you’re here.”
***
Obviously you played rock-paper-scissors to choose who would lay on the other’s thighs first. On a fluke of luck, you won and that’s how you fell asleep while Sunoo was massaging your scalp. When he noticed that you fell asleep he smiled and kissed your forehead. 
Then he moved you so that you were cuddling and kissed your forehead again and whispered “Happy birthday, love~” one last time before falling asleep the happiest he was in the past six months. 
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alreadyblondenow · 4 years
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Sweet | Jung Jaehyun
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❤︎ Jaehyun x female!reader ❤︎ Fluff? Smut, Smut, Smut, Smut, Tiny bit of angst, College AU, Established relationship ❤︎ 2/4 for LOVE MONTH SERIES: Boys Don’t Cry One is a big number | You and your words | Sweet | He loves me, he loves me not |
Summary: Jaehyun has always been in love with you but he thinks so highly of you that he never tried pursuing his feelings for you. All throughout your college years, Jaehyun endured every heartbreak secretly whenever you have a new boyfriend and can only love you secretly in his own ways. Wild. College years was wild and its all because of Jaehyun. After college, you and Jaehyun parted ways but life will reunite you again in the most shocking way. Jaehyun’s wedding.  
Word count: 13,707k
Warnings: Sex, sex, sex, and loads of sex, unprotected sex, loss of virginity, making of sex tape (with consent), making of amateur porn? (with consent), cam boys and cam girl?? idk what to call that but they fuck live, mentions of alcohol, period fingering, mentions of tampon, dry humping, oral sex female receiving, mentions of blowjob, slight blowjob scene,  mentions of other idols, swearing, college students who just wanna have fun haha, kissing and touching, fingering, and slight nipple play, mentions of having sex with Johnny. AH SLIGHT BREAK UP SEX! 
A/N: PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. okay, I know I said that this will be out on Jaehyun’s birthday but meh whatever I’m posting it and will post something else for hearts day. hehe. I hope you guys love this even though im just experimenting and trying to write longer fics, and seriously I wanted to write back to back smut with different feels so I guess im crossing that out of my bucket list. Also this is proof read once only so sorry. You may not be happy with the ending but I’m sure as hell happy with it so sorry. ​
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Humans are prone to fall in love with the wrong people and the only thing you can do about it is to forgive yourself and move on. No matter how much history you had, no matter how many special moments or intimate ones you shared… if you know that he or she is not the right person for you then, you know.
Like this moment right now. For exactly ten minutes, you will realize why you and a certain someone never worked out.
“Hey, boss you have a 10 am meeting. Planning for everything” Your assistant says as you double-check your schedule to see the name of the client she’s talking about. “That’s the bride though, 0% progress for the wedding” she added.
“Yikes” you murmur and ready your stuff, “let’s fix that and give her a beautiful wedding. I need you to take down everything she says while I talk to her” you straighten your clothes and fix yourself before you face the client.
The moment you enter the room, the bride greets you with a big smile like she’s saying ‘thank you for saving me and my wedding’ even though you literally haven't done anything yet. Oh, you love seeing those hopeful eyes in every bride. “I’m just waiting for my fiancé, he’s the one who recommends coming here and I have a great feeling that I will have a beautiful wedding because of you”
“And my team,” you added and finished her sentence, “I want to introduce you to my assistant, she will be taking care of every request you say during our discussion later”
“And I want to introduce you to my fiancé, Jaehyun,” she said with a big smile and walked towards his fiancé.
And just like that your ordinary day at the office became extraordinary. Because nothing is normal about Jung Jaehyun, nothing is normal about those dimpled smile that automatically makes your heart skip a beat.
“Baby, this is the wedding organizer” her smile has no hint of mock, she’s not even proud that she has a very handsome fiancé and obviously she doesn’t know who you are. She’s just happy that she’s marrying Jaehyun. That’s all. And in those eyes, you see that Jaehyun is in the right hands.
“Mhmm. Me, Johnny, and Ms. Y/n right here are dorm mates. So you’re talking to the best wedding organizer,” you snorted at what Jaehyun said.
“Thank you for that introduction Jung, now let’s talk about your wedding”
And so, you worked your magic to them the whole morning. Explaining things, showing stuff, asking them what they want. From the wedding reception, wedding dress appointments, and picking of cakes… she has no idea of what she wants. Good thing you do know what you’re doing and you planned everything smoothly after a few hours. And for hours and hours, you watched them smile at each other, lowkey flirted in front of you but you didn’t feel any jealousy, hurt, or regret.
When the exhausting meeting was finally done and finally you’re alone at your office, a soft knock brought you back to reality and a familiar voice was behind it. “Can I come in?” Jaehyun asks.
“Of course, it’s open” you watch him enter your office like he’s some kind of a ghost and made the room cold in an instant.
“I just want to say thank you for helping us out- thank goodness the world is small… Literally, the wedding will be a mess”
“Just doing my job Jae,” you smiled sweetly to him, “your fiancé is lovely-“
“I did love you Y/n. And I’m sorry for hurting you like that, I told you, you deserve better. I’m glad we both found our happiness” he flashed that dimpled smile again and thanked you one last time.
The little reunion ended with small smiles, nods here and there, and in just a few seconds Jaehyun is out from your office and quickly replaced by your assistant to give you your afternoon coffee. Awkward and curious, she placed the coffee in front of you. Obviously, she wanted to know your past with the groom. And when she finally dropped the question, you remembered everything, moments crashing and drowning you right this instance.
Eight years ago  
“Are you even trying, you’re no fun!”  
Your best friend shouts at you from the other side of the table, waiting for you to throw the ball, waiting for you to miss. It was just beer pong but you don’t know why the game was so fucking frustrating and no matter how hard you concentrate you can’t score. Maybe it’s because you’re all alone and you’re competing against your best friend and her boyfriend. Fuck that you thought, you don’t need a man.
“Fuck” you murmur and miss again. You watch your best friend’s boyfriend score another one and of course, you have to drink again. But just when you’re about to get the ball from drink, a stranger’s hand was quick to get the cup, remove the ball and drink the alcohol.
“Mind if I join and help you win?” He flashed you a dimpled smile that immediately made you smile back at him. You take back what you said earlier, maybe you do need someone.
“Come on! Let him in, maybe he’s a better competition” your best friend shouts once again. Oh, you’re very happy that you’re not going to the same college.
As you welcome the handsome stranger and gave him the honor of throwing the ball, you warned him first that your opponents can be very annoying but he doesn't seem to care and just let out a small laugh. Cocky you thought, but confidence looks sexy on him.
And finally. Fucking finally, your best friend had a taste of her own medicine.
“I’m Jaehyun by the way,” he was lowkey flirting with you and you’re not stupid to not notice. “Here, I’ll teach you how to throw” he put the ball in your palm and stood behind you, hands on your waist to keep you steady, arms raised together, and you swear his lips were so near at your nape that you got shivers whenever he talks. “let the ball bounce near a cup and it will land on one” he added. But how can you score if he’s making it hard for you? You did it anyways, threw the ball near a cup and he was right. It landed on the cup you wish to aim and finally, you’re starting to have fun.
The game went on and you and Jaehyun flirted, talked, and exchange deep glances the entire game but winning it at the same time. His one hand is always around your waist even if it's not necessary whenever he’s the one throwing the ball, and whenever the other team scores, he’s the one drinking the alcoholic beverage for you.
At the end of the game, you and Jaehyun won the golden prize which is very awkward when he showed it to you.
“All that frustration and competition for a condom?” you can’t believe that the prize is a single condom.
“We don’t have to use it, it can just be our trophy you know” he let out a small laugh and put the condom in his pocket, and changed the subject.
As the night went deeper, you and Jaehyun had your own little world in that corner at the kitchen with a beer in your hand while you talk about your interest from music to movies. It was pretty crowded but no one seems to care especially Jaehyun because he loves how incredibly close he is to you right now. Until a drunk person bumped Jaehyun and he accidentally spilled his beer on your blouse. Seems like the universe is making a way for you two to eventually hook up and use the condom.
“Shit-shit!” Jaehyun was panicking at the moment and he doesn’t know what to do other than remove his hoodie and cover you with it before anyone sees your see-through blouse and took you somewhere less crowded to help you clean up the mess he put you through.
In a stranger's room upstairs, he locked the door to let you change while he looks for something to dry your clothes with. Luckily, he saw a hairdryer and quickly plugged it in beside the bed and started drying your shirt.
You were conscious for some time, clinging to a stranger's blanket with nothing but your pants underneath it. You watch Jaehyun dry your bra, checking it from time to time if it's ready to go. And when it's finally dry, he hands it to you with an awkward smile but still managed to make your heart beat fast. “I’m really sorry,” he started, a quickly avoided his gaze from you again as you turn your back from him, put down the blanket, and wear your bra like there's no one with you.
“It was an accident, don’t beat yourself up,” you said, there’s no way he’s going to let this go you’re sure of it, so with all your bravery, you came closer to him while he's busy drying your blouse and kissed him on the cheek. “You've been saving me the whole night. You saved me from boredom and from losing and now, you're drying my clothes. So sweet of you,” you added and looked at him sweetly, resting your forehead on his and making the moment even more intense by putting down the blanket in front of him. Allowing him to see you with only wearing your bra and pants, inviting him to make this moment unforgettable for the two of you.
Of course, he's not stupid and did exactly what you had in mind. In one swift moved his lips are on your lips, hands on your shoulders to put your bra straps down, and you unclasped your bra and threw it on the floor before you started to kiss him more intensely.
Jaehyun kissed you exactly how you wanted to be kissed, with want and with lust. His breath and the sound of wet kisses sounded perfect as it surrounds the room. You felt him bite your neck then feel him smile against your skin when his intentions of turning you on even more is working.
Kisses became deeper, playful, and wet when he started to go down to your chest and started kissing the valley between your boobs. His big hands knead your right boob, while his left hand is placed on your waist. Oh when his tongue brushed on your nipple for the first time, you rolled your head back and arched your back as if you wanted him to do more and play more with your boobs.
And just like that the cold night became warm and you feel it getting warmer and warmer by every second and it’s all because of Jaehyun.
He flashed a dimpled smile at you when he saw that you're more than liking what he's doing to you and stopped to open the lampshade. The room was immediately softly illuminated which you thought is romantic even though everything that’s happening right now is totally unplanned.
"Your boobs have spit all over, wait let me get that for you" you were just about to tell him that it's fine but he was quick to remove his shirt and reveal his godlike body right before your eyes. “If you just want to kiss and touch the whole night, I’m fine with that but I am very horny right now that I got you covered with spit,” he said while wiping his spit from your boobs and chest using his shirt.  
If you’re perfectly honest, you’re nervous about what can happen in the next few minutes. But there’s no way in hell that you’re going to let this pass, it’s not every day a handsome man is eager to fuck you. You just have to suck it up, not tell him that you’re a virgin, perform and look like you know what you’re doing. "No, it's fine I'm horny too" and you proved it by kissing him again, cupping his face with both of your hands, and with all your strength you roll on top of him. "Wait here," you said as you push him back on the mattress when he tried to get a hold of you.
You went down from the bed to remove your pants and underwear, he did the same as quickly as he can and you think he's cute for being excited to fuck. You crawled in between his legs, sat nicely on top of him but the impatient guy sat up and met your lips again. One hand supporting his weight, one hand on your waist. "You're so fucking beautiful I'm having a hard time to breath for the last few minutes" he whispers so sexily while kissing your jaw, leaving his mark to remind you the next day about tonight.
For a minute, you felt shy because you've never been naked with someone in bed. But the way Jaehyun kisses you makes you trust him, the way he touches your body with care make you want him more. And again, those fucking lips just made you roll your hips against his hardening cock and it made you both moaned so good that he asked you to do it again. And so you did.
Letting his cock slide in between your folds is a new feeling for you. Not even grinding on your vibrator will give you such an amazing feeling. Grinding on Jaehyun's cock while his mouth plays with your boobs felt fucking good that your grip on his locks tightens but he doesn't care. But for someone untouched like you, you made sure you never forget the feeling whenever his tongue swirls while you roll your hips, how he bites your nipples whenever he feels you're slowing down, and the vibrations that share with you whenever he grunts a little too loud and you feel it all over your body.
Soon Jaehyun switched places with you, putting you underneath him to catch his breath and stop himself from cumming. He reached for your hand and hold it dearly, kissing your knuckles and the back of your hand. “Forgive me if I become rough tonight, I can promise an aftercare don’t worry,” he says and gave you one last kiss before he pulls away and gets the condom from the pocket of his discarded pants. Putting the protection in front of you to assure you, thank goodness to that condom you thought.
As soon as he crawls back in between your legs again, his hand moved around your body like he’s telling you he owns you, smiling in between kisses whenever he accidentally tickles you. Hands slipping in between your thighs and fingers brushed automatically on your very wet slit. You jolt because of the new feeling but careful not to show Jaehyun that this is your first time being finger fucked. So you closed your eyes to avoid his gaze but Jaehyun gave your ass a tight squeeze and put his thumb on your wet slit, admiring how wet he made you already which made you open your eyes again and moan his name deliciously.
“I like the sound of that,” he says, kissing your neck and down Jaehyun goes, kissing your body until he reaches your pussy to give you few licks before he fucks you.
The way he licked your wet folds made your toes curl and your legs spread even wider. Pushing his head away, crushing his head with your legs then spreading it wide again, and begged him but you’re not sure what for.  
“Jae- you eat pussy like a pro” or maybe you’re just telling that because it’s your first time being eaten out. That even the way he puts the right amount of force to stop your legs from closing whenever he flicks his tongue is perfect. And when he saw you relaxing and can handle the pleasure already, his hands cupped both of your boobs and pinched your nipples, making you moan his name loudly “Jae!-“ and arch your back as a sign that you’re almost there, and if he doesn’t stop soon you might cum now.
But of course, Jaehyun didn’t stop and made you cum using his tongue for the first time tonight. Your legs felt like jelly and you can even feel that your pussy is still sensitive. “Thought it’s going to be just a few licks?” you said weakly, wiping your pussy juices from his chin and planting a soft kiss on his lips as a thank you, but he doesn’t know that.
“Changed my mind, you taste good. I might even go for another round-“
And right before he goes down on you again, you stopped him and told him you’re still sensitive. Which thankfully he listened and kissed you instead of licking you. And when you’re finally good to go again, he holds you by your ankles, kiss your neck and touch your body for a few seconds before he finally lines his cock on your very wet slit. Sliding it up and down, teasing you and making you horny and even more aroused.  
When he finally pushed his cock in your hole, Jaehyun thought his dick will slide in smoothly because, one, he thought you’re not a virgin anymore and two, you’re dripping on the sheets but still he’s having a hard time pushing in. Then he saw your face, contorting like you’re in pain rather than seeing you furrow your brows, part your lips, and make beautiful sounds.
For you, it fucking hurts and you would rather suck it up than tell him you’re still a virgin and ruin the mood. But the man on top of you is not stupid and surprisingly he pulled out slowly and came closer to your body once again to face you, “I’m about to be your first time, am I right? You’re so tight and I’ve never encountered a hole like that ever since my first fuck”
Busted you thought. You thought of any more ways to get out of this situation but he looks like he’s okay with it. “Are you mad?” you asked shyly and avoiding his stare.
“No” he admitted, “Actually I’m turned on. But I’ll go slow and sorry if I hurt you at first. Want to try again?”
You nod oh eagerly to his question and finally, you can breathe and enjoy the moment. He gave you a few kisses before he continues and went back to lining his cock, he made you wrap your arms around his neck and asked you to spread your legs even wider. And when he pushed in again, there’s that good stretch you’ve been hearing so much about. The feeling of Jaehyun’s cock go slowly inside you was incredibly good even though he’s not fucking you raw right now.
“The condom is thin-“ he grunts and moaned a few times, “you’re so tight. And fuck you look hot. Does it feel good now?” he whispers and started to roll his hips once which made you both moan and let out sharp gasps.
He fucks you slow and deep until the sting from the stretch is replaced by pleasure. You rake his body with your nails, holding him on his nape, and grab a fistful of hair whenever he tries to give you a powerful thrust which you loved so you asked for more.
He sat on his knees and pull away from your body then immediately gave you a hard thrust, watching your boobs bounce with lidded eyes, kneading them whenever he wants to. In a matter of few minutes, his thrust became animalistic that your head is dangling on the edge of the bed, moaning and gasping sharply but the man above you kept on fucking you hard, savoring the condom and trying not to cum so soon. So whenever he’s on edge, he pulls out immediately and spreads kisses around your body, sucking your boobs until your nipples are swollen, playing with your slit until you’re cumming for the third time tonight using his fingers.
“Not yet, I want more time with you,” he says while kissing your neck and reaching for your hand to intertwine it with his.
“Jaehyun, I can’t take it anymore. Please cum already” you begged with ragged breaths.
“Fine, fine. Since you asked nicely, but promise me to give me your number after we fuck”
“I will if you make me cum using your dick” he was amused by your answer and effortlessly flipped you on your stomach and asked you to put your ass in the air. He kissed your shoulders first, making you feel safe before the grand finale. Hands on your ass while he slowly thrust in again and fuck, he does make your knees weak.
“You were just a virgin a few minutes ago, but now you’re begging huh, okay” he says before he gave you a hard thrust that made you land flat on your stomach but he was quick to lift your hips again and give you another hard thrust.
Thrust after thrust you feel the impact in your body and for sure your body will be sore the next day. You call his name over and over again but you’re not sure what you’re begging for because he is fucking you good. Hard but good. And when finally Jaehyun is on edge for the nth time tonight, he did not pull out and kept fucking you but this time he doubled his pace that you can only hear skin slapping and his beautiful moans.
“Fuck Jaehyun- I’m cumming again, don’t you dare fucking stop” you grip the sheets and arch your back more, taking every thrust Jaehyun gives you and shut your eyes close as you let go and cum for the fourth time tonight.
Thrust
Thrust
Thrust
He gave you three powerful thrusts before you both flop on the mattress and catch your breath together. Your bodies were warm and sweaty, the room smelled like sex but no one cares. You feel bad to the owner of this bed.
While you catch your breath and calm yourself down, Jaehyun busies himself with discarding the condom and looking for something to cover your exposed body before he makes a wrong decision like asking you for round two.
“Thanks” you said weakly when he covered you with the blanket.
“I hope you’re okay with me being your first” he says and lies beside you again, keeping you close to him.
“I’m more than okay with it” you kissed him on the lips like you’re keeping a souvenir, “I hate to ruin this moment that we shared but, we have to go back to the party” you watch him shook his head no and pretended to be asleep, “Mhmm. Come on, I’ll help you get dressed” you added.
To be perfectly honest Jaehyun wanted to stay with you for a few more minutes, he wanted to know more about you, he wanted to hold your hand just a little bit longer. “Stay with me” he asks of you, but you refused with a heavy heart. You exchanged cellphone numbers of course, but when you two got back to the party, hand in hand and back to flirting with each other, your friends are quick to get a hold of you. and the next thing you know you’re inside your friend’s car, on your way home and you couldn’t stop thinking about him.
On the next day, you woke up very sore and you couldn’t walk properly but the thought of what happened last night just makes you smile and all giggly. You waited for his text the whole day, checking your phone from time to time and hoping that whenever it beeps, Jaehyun’s name is on the screen but no.
You thought that waiting for him for a day is normal, maybe he got hungover and slept the whole day. But after a few days later, still you got no texts from him and that part is not normal anymore. You started to think that you’re just a one-time thing for him and you feel stupid for even thinking that Jaehyun can and eventually pursue you.
Everything that happened that night, should be forgotten and you should enjoy the remaining months of your summer before you finally move in to your college dorm. On top of that, you deleted his number and tried to forget the man who made you feel good in bed for the first time.
Now that you’re weeks away from officially being a college student, you decided to settle in your college dorm as early as now so you can have more time to know your dorm mates. Little did you know, that the world is incredibly small and you will end up being dorm mates with Jaehyun alongside his best friend Johnny who welcomed you with a big bear hug like you’ve known each other for years.
It’s not that you weren’t happy to see him when he opened the door for you, it’s just that... it was such an awkward moment because you’ve seen each other naked and... he didn’t call you back. Nonetheless, you pretended to know each other for the first time today, shake his hand and give him a hug. Which you didn’t want to end so soon.
“Hey, uhm… glad to see you settle in” he started and closed your door so Johnny would not hear whatever conversation you’re about to have.
“Yeah, thank you for welcoming me warmly. Johnny is sweet by the way” you said awkwardly while folding your clothes and putting them in your cabinet.
“Uh, about that. Uhm, can you uh-“
“Not tell him that something happened between us?” he nods slowly at what you said, “sure” you wanted to scoff so bad and throw a fit at him, but you didn’t want to ruin your move in day and just shrugged it off.
Starting that day, you tried your best not to be awkward with Jaehyun and really try your best to forget about the sex. The sex that felt good, the sex that can make your toes curl by just merely thinking about it. Although you had a hard time because whenever you touch yourself at night, you remember everything that happened between you two and you end up fantasizing about fucking Jaehyun again. But now that you’re living with him and you see him every day, it's not just about the sex now.
During the summer you were convinced that Jaehyun is a guy who had sex with you and left you hanging. But seeing him every day and knowing him even more by living together, the truth about Jaehyun slapped you so hard that you even liked him even more now. He is a warm person, whose heart is full of care and compassion, or maybe even more than that.
Eventually, you did forget about the sex and your little crush on Jaehyun. Thank goodness, you thought. You couldn’t have done it without a few hookups during your freshman year. And when everything is all nice and pleasant again between you and Jaehyun, you became good friends and started to look after each other.
You were like family in that small dorm during your starting years together. The two giant knows how to cook so a good meal is never a problem, you have study sessions whenever it’s needed and whenever someone is going through something, you were there for each other.
It was great and comforting because you do everything together. But not until Jaehyun realized that he’s not immune to your charms anymore and now he’s falling for you. Hard.
Over the years of living together, Jaehyun saw your true colors. Now he knows you’re more than just a hookup. You were a gem that he found in a stranger’s party and he was such a fool for not calling you back during the summer. It’s true what they say that regrets are always at the end. Now he can only admire you and love you in ways where he can’t ruin this amazing friendship that you have.
Jaehyun endured every heartbreak whenever he sees you with another man or hearing you moan from the other side of the room whenever you and your boyfriend have sex. And when that jerk broke your heart, his broke two times than yours because he can’t do anything to ease your pain, make you realize your true worth and help you move on.
“You don’t need that guy,” Jaehyun says as he pulls you for a hug while Johnny massages your toes. The two giants were a good support system, not to mention they really want to beat your ex’s butt but you told them ‘thanks but, no don’t do that’. And while you’re crying in Jaehyun’s arms, staining his hoodie with your tears, he promised to himself that he will never hurt you or make you cry.
Now that he’s frustrated and mad at himself because he can’t help you, he decided to help himself instead. He watched on the sides and used different girls to make him forget about you, which is hardly impossible by now because even the little things you do make him crazy. Like whenever you ask him to eat dinner with you when Johnny is out for work, or whenever you take care of him when he goes home batshit drunk and can’t even stand up straight.
For Jaehyun, his college years were all about yearning. Yearning for you, your attention, your touch, and your love. But even though you’re now single and have already moved on from your ex, he still can’t confess his feelings for you because he believes that you deserve someone better than him. Jaehyun knew he hurt you already, and he will not forgive himself if he does it again.  
Senior year
In a middle of a busy cafeteria, you, Johnny, and Jaehyun are thinking of ways how to earn money for your dorm rent. This semester made you guys bring out a lot of cash because of books and some of your rent money was needed to sacrifice for education. But now that you guys are a month late with your rent, you have no idea where to get cash knowing all too well that your parents won’t chip in.
“I could sell some of my clothes” Jaehyun suggested while drinking his coffee.
“Dude your clothes are all black, no one would ever buy those” Johnny bites back just to annoy his friend. “Though girls will buy it because it’s from you-“
“Stop it with your nonsense John”
“Or! You can sell some of your nudes, I already know a lot of buyers” Johnny added with an annoying smile.
“Or you two can just fuck each other because you’re the hottest guys on campus but your asses are broke” you tease them further but you have no idea that you just gave out the solution to all your problems. “What?” you asked them as they both smile at you, shy for no reason, and eyeing each other like they’re having a secret conversation using their eyes.
Johnny clears his throat before he starts, “You just suggested to make porn… and porn is good money. A few students do it these days” he clears his throat again before he continues, “We know because we watch porn-“
“Okay, I don’t need to know that part. What are you saying? Are you suggesting we make porn?” you said, eyes big as you look at them.  
“You suggested it. Not us. But yeah. It’s good money Y/n” Johnny once again explained.
“Well, okay. I’ll hold the camera while you two fuck. How do we do this?” you avoid their eyes as your body heats the more you talk.
“Nuh-uh, I’m not fucking Johnny” Jaehyun announces.
“Nope. Me too I’m not fucking Jaehyun, you choose Y/n. No hard feelings, but consider the size” he winks but you know that he’s just joking.
Good thing the awkward conversation was cut when your alarm went off and you have to go to your next class. You gather your stuff and told them to think of better ways to earn money because there’s no way you’re having sex with any of them. Especially not with Jaehyun.
The idea of making money through porn crosses your mind every five minutes and you can’t concentrate with your class. Plus, your landlord kept on sending messages reminding you that in three days, you’re going to be two months late with the rent. But still, whenever you imagine having sex with any of them, it gives you great goosebumps and you can’t handle the awkwardness anymore.
After your class, you were spacing out and still weighing things over regarding the porn making, and unexpectedly, one of your friends brought up ‘amateur porn’ and you’ve never been so nervous in your life. She was talking about how she and her boyfriend went live for a good twenty minutes and they made loads of cash, “and guess what, it’s all for fun! We were really just fooling around but apparently, people do love those kinds of stuff and they pay good money”
Your mouth almost fell when she mentioned the cash they earned for only twenty minutes. And in that twenty minutes, you can cover one month's rent pay already. You just have to cum in front of thousands of people. So with a mind blinded by the possibility of earning too much cash, you said yes to the idea of making porn. The only question is, with whom?
Johnny and Jaehyun stood in front of you as they wait for your answer after telling them what your friend told you about making porn. Of course you picked Jaehyun. Not because you miss him, and not because you have history, but because you don’t want to be awkward with Johnny. While Jaehyun on the other hand is feeling proud and hopeful behind that poker face of his, he thought that you chose him because you already know what’s in store for you if you fuck with him again and of course he thought that maybe you miss him.
“Johnny doesn’t really need to hold the camera for us right? We can just place it, and secure it somewhere” you added and watch Jaehyun agree without looking at you.
“You two have the place tomorrow night then. M-make sure you raise the quota and cover three months of payment... for safety” Johnny says to Jaehyun and you with a smile that says, ‘thank goodness I didn’t have to watch you both fuck’.
Before you sleep tonight, unexpectedly Jaehyun paid you a visit. And there’s that nervous feeling again, you feel like you’re back in your freshman days when you don’t know what to do whenever you see Jaehyun and you just have to pretend that nothing is bothering you.
Breathing in and out, you opened the door quickly and went back to your bed and under the covers to cover your exposed legs. Little did you know that Jaehyun already saw that you’re not wearing anything besides your lacy panties and an oversized shirt.
“Your ears are red,” you teased him.
“Well next time you should wear pajamas instead of your underwear to sleep” he winked and placed the mask that you’re going to be using tomorrow and sat on the edge of your bed.  
“What are you? A stranger? You’re so far, come here” you invited him under your sheets and lie in bed face to face like nothings bothering you two. You put your hand above his head and feel his soft locks, careful not to grip so hard and hurt the man you used to have feelings for.
This is why Jaehyun can’t move on from you. You always make him feel like he’s your favorite person in the world.
“Are you going to leave me hanging again after we have sex tomorrow?” You confronted him.
“That’s impossible now, we live together” he giggles and catches your hand so he could hold it.
“Just promise me after the sex tomorrow we’ll still be friends” you felt his grip loosen up like he became hopeless like he didn’t like what you just said.
“I was actually going to say that I want us to try again. Get things right this time”
And in that very moment, your world stopped and your body feels hot, suddenly you’re sweating and your heart is beating faster. To be honest you don’t know what to say.
Then,
“Kidding. I’m kidding. Just making you laugh before you sleep, and y-yeah. I promise nothing will change between us, cross my heart” he got up from your bed, turned off the lights and turned on your lampshade. “Sleep well okay?”
And just like that, he left again. You don’t know if you were relieved that it was only a joke or your heart broke because deep inside, you’re waiting for him to tell you that ever since Freshman year. Nonetheless, you do what you do best. Sleep it off and pretend nothing happened.
On the next day, you were at the kitchen preparing breakfast and spacing out while you flip pancakes. Most of them got burnt and you blame Jaehyun for that.
“I told you to sleep, didn’t I?”
There he goes again, startling you and flashing a very handsome smile at you like you’re not about to do something stupid later. “Johnny went to work early and took an overtime tonight just so you won’t get shy” he hands you a glass of water, figured you might need one because you looked so tensed.
“We can always text him when we're done” you added, he nods. And there’s the awkward silence again.
You finish your breakfast in one go, not even looking at Jaehyun. Usually, during breakfast, you talk mostly about your plans within the day but given the situation right now, obviously, you don’t want to know his plans because that includes you. Good thing the day went on normally. You cleaned the living room, he cleaned the kitchen, you cleaned your room, he cleaned his. You saw him changing his bedsheets and you think that’s a sweet gesture, you wanted to tease him but that won’t help you with your nervousness so you just smiled at him when he caught you looking.
When it’s finally afternoon and you’re going to fuck live in a few minutes, you were surprised at what he did to his room just so you won’t get nervous anymore. The golden ray of afternoon light was perfect and helped you calm in no time, Jaehyun lit some scented candles and lowered the thermostat of his air conditioning so you won’t get cold.
“Thought I should make this special- not that I’m saying our first wasn’t “ he rambles and scratches his head, ears turning red and now you can see that he’s nervous too. “But come on, I want to do right for you” he caresses your shoulders and nods his head as a signal that you two needed to start.
The mood was nothing like your first, there was no sexual tension or any sign of desire to fuck each other. In other words, he looked like he’s just doing this for the dorm rent and you are too. That’s why maybe stripping in front of Jaehyun while your back is against him was easier than you thought. But you didn’t know that the man was craving for you. He wanted to be the one removing your clothes while his lips roam on your neck, make you feel good and wanted just before the live starts. He wanted to do that.
“Remember your promise okay?” You put on your mask and Jaehyun did too. He was still fully clothed and while you’re lying in his bed comfortably, watching him strip in front of you but not for you. The camera is right above your head so the viewers can imagine that they are the ones having sex with Jaehyun. If that won't give you a lot of money then you don’t know what will.
Jaehyun was a natural, you wanted to tell him that he does look like a pornstar but you’re not allowed to talk. When he finally crawled on the bed, straight between your legs and spread them according to his want, a shiver went straight to your spine and immediately made you wet. He shamelessly kissed your inner thighs first and went all the way up until he reaches your lips.
Finally. You both thought.
But his kisses were different and you wonder why. You feel like you’re not kissing Jaehyun because you know how his kiss can affect you, although his touch was still the same. He can still make you jolt and part your lips with just using his fingers and a few teasing here and there. And when he finally put his cock inside you, that’s the part where you finally believe that Jaehyun is indeed the one in bed with you right now. You will never forget how that cock feels inside you, “I miss you” he whispered very softly, hoping that the viewers did not hear it.
Time flies so fast that the live will end in ten minutes now and Jaehyun has been fucking you deep and slow like he’s savoring the feeling again. When you heard him grunt and moan, that made your toes curl and clench accidentally around him. Making him groan a little louder and fuck you a bit faster. You moaned so loud just so he knows you’re very much close to your high, and in just a few minutes you both cum together and the next thing you know he’s pulling out and letting his cum land on top of your pussy lips for the viewer’s pleasure.
Fuck you wish he didn’t pull out.
He grabbed his phone from above you and turned the damn timer off because you may not know, but the timer was screaming at him that his time with you is over. You removed your mask and he removed his too. And there you saw tears in his eyes, or maybe those are sweat? Nonetheless, you asked him what’s wrong and made him look at you. But instead of answering your question, he kissed you. Hands on both sides and cupping your face as he kisses you deeper.
And there’s that kiss you’ve been waiting for. The kiss that you’ve been wanting to experience again for years and years. You shouldn’t be happy, but you’re actually genuinely happy that your rent pay is late and you get to do this again with Jaehyun.
“I missed you too” finally you said it.
He smiled so sweetly to you and went back to the kiss, spreading your legs again, checking your slit if you’re still wet. And without further ado, he thrust in. Slowly again, but this time he’s proving a point. Like he’s telling you something. And now that you can see his face, you can’t help but feel excited and the butterflies in your stomach are very much excited too that you were smiling in between kisses.
“Ride me” he says, and effortlessly he trades places with you. Holding you on your back, lips still locked like you’re not planning to stop any time soon. And for your own pleasure, you guided his hands and made him knead your boobs. He did more than kneading, Jaehyun sucked your nipples and pinched them to hear you moan.
“A lot has changed Jae” you said, pushing him down to the mattress and intertwined your fingers with his, kissed them and placed them on your hips. You started rolling your hips without a warning, making the man underneath you close his eyes and part his lips. There are many things you wanted to do with him now that you had the privilege to ride him, but you decided to go hard because this might be the last time you’re going to fuck Jaehyun again.
You ride him like you didn’t have sex for years. Skin slapping from rolling your hips faster than he expected, letting your boobs bounce in front of him and letting him touch them whenever he wants to. “It’s hard to pull out when you’re on top, want to switch places?” He was struggling to talk, obviously he’s trying so hard not to cum yet but you’re good at what you’re doing.
“Not tonight” and that promise just made Jaehyun moan deliciously like he’s excited to cum now just so he can experience cumming inside you.
“Y-yeah. That’s right Y/n fuck me. Oh you fuck me so good! Shit- why did I ever let you go. Fuck”
The thing is, you love seeing him all fucked up and love hearing him praise the way you fuck him... but he chose the wrong words. And those words went straight to your heart. The words ‘Why did I ever let you go?’ repeated over and over again while you ride so fast that you’re overstimulating him already. He was begging for you to stop but it was too late when you heard him.
When you finally stopped, you see his cum dripping from your pussy even though you’re not yet removing his cock from you. You catch your breath for a second and came closer to Jaehyun. Good thing he has enough strength to hug you and roll you to the mattress so he could have the honor to pull his cock out.
“You’re right a lot has changed,” he says because his silly crush on you grew and grew and now he’s completely in love with you. “Let’s not shower together, I’m afraid I’ll lure you to have shower sex with me”
“And what’s so wrong about that” you bite back.
“Oh so you’re confident now huh,” he kissed you once again, and shit you never want him to leave your lips.
But every good thing comes to an end. You went back to your room and showered separately, as planned and when you went to the living room, he was all cleaned up and looking so fresh. He was wearing his glasses, hair almost covering his eyes, he looked cozy in his oversized shirt and his favorite plaid pajamas. “Come here,” He pats the seat next to him, signaling you to come watch Netflix with him. Surprisingly, his arms wrapped around you and kept you close to him, subtly smelling your shampoo. He giggled at the thought of imagining you taking a shower while smiling because the sex was fucking awesome.
He played a movie and watched it with you just so he can still keep you close to him. Not even halfway through the movie, he caught you sleeping soundly on his lap and slowly covered your exposed legs with the blanket on the couch. He pats and pats your head until his attention was no longer in the movie that he’s watching but his mind lingers to what happened earlier and eventually fell asleep beside you too.
It was very late when Johnny went home and caught you two all snuggled up on the couch, snoring and slept through to what you were watching. He had a hunch that you two had a great time, smiled and turned off the TV, and wished you both a good night's sleep.
“I have bad news” Johnny announces as you and Jaehyun wake up together on the couch, all smiles and in an incredibly good mood but Johnny was quick to ruin that. “The money you earned from yesterday’s live was not enough”
You don’t know why Jaehyun was still smiling at you even though what Johnny just told you completely ruined your day already. “That’s not bad news, right?” He whispers to you and gave you a look. “I’m okay with doing it again until we cover everything” Jaehyun says to Johnny while you three sit in front of each other, drinking your coffees.
“I’ll work double shifts at the radio station- are you fine with doing it again Y/n?” Johnny asks, and for a second there you feel like you’re in the hot seat.
“Y-yeah. I’m okay with it” you scratch your nape and awkwardly sip your coffee, “it’s easy money, I think if we do more lives we can cover three months pay”
“More lives it is. Don’t worry John, I’ll take other slots at the radio station too for groceries and stuff” Jaehyun added.
The live fucking continues and so is fooling around with Jaehyun, having better sex every after going live and whenever Johnny is not around. It’s like playing with fire, but you don’t exactly know if what you’re doing is wrong or right because you’re both single, so why are you guys hiding? You don’t get it, but you just go with the flow, enjoy what’s happening and hope for the best.
Every sex you have grown more and more intense to the point that your beds are moving and that gives you better reviews in live fucking. Not to mention the money is better now and you’re saving up faster than expected. But whenever the camera is off and you’re having sex without an audience, you guys fuck like you’re together and you love each other.
Sweet love bites here and there, sincere praises and longer kisses. For Jaehyun he feels like he’s having a dream because he gets to do the things he wanted to do with you. Remove your clothes while kissing you, whisper the things he has been holding back to say for years, and make you feel loved and important.
And just like the sex, your cuddling session became even warmer and sweeter. Cuddling after you take a shower has always been your thing, he visits you in your room with damped hair and you help him dry his hair, Netflix and chill, or order in and have a great meal together.
Days went by and you’re getting used to this sweet Jaehyun and you well know that’s dangerous. But you love every dangerous thing about Jaehyun. The following days grew extremely sweet and intimate. You sleep in his room every night and basically do everything together from now on. The only time you two were apart is during class hours but after that, Jaehyun is right outside your classroom waiting for you.
“What are you doing?” you giggle and try to finish the book you’re reading in bed when Jaehyun suddenly entered your room, crawled on your bed, and went in between your legs. Removing your glasses for safety, inviting you to fuck while Jaehyun nibs your ear and caress your legs. Oh his kisses always make your head turn and ask for more.
“Johnny is not around and I just took a shower, hmm? What do you say?” He uses that cute tone that can always make you stop what you’re doing and say yes to him. Forget the book, you can finish it later.
Removing your shorts and underwear while he continuously kisses you, smiling and giggling while he whispers ‘you always look pretty’ before he removes your shirt and exposes your boobs to him. You tried getting up and help him remove his clothes, but he stopped you and kissed you down on the mattress. “Nu-uh. Stay there I’ll treat you good tonight” he winked and proceeds to remove his clothes in between your spread legs, your hands roam freely in his well sculpted and fucking beautiful body.
Then he reached for your phone and took a nice picture while you two are kissing. The sound of the camera clicking made your eyes open, “send me this picture later. So I can stop missing you” you smiled and nod, then Jaehyun took one too many pictures so he could focus on you again. When he’s finally contented with all the pictures he got, he finally thrust in deep and slow while his mouth is sucking one of your nipples and he looks incredibly handsome.
This time, it’s you who grabbed your phone and took some pictures of him sucking your boobs and making you feel good, taking some pictures of his cock inside your pussy while he thrusts. Jaehyun had the idea of taking a video while you two fuck but this time, it’s for his and your eyes only. He took the phone from you and recorded how he fucks you good, and did not miss the part where you part your lips and moan.
“Jaehyun I’m almost there” you moan out, fingerings raking his nape or on his beautiful body. He puts the camera on the bedside table with a perfect angle of him fucking you, without masks or any cover. He intertwines his fingers with yours before he fucks you hard and fast. The camera that’s recording everything was completely forgotten and Jaehyun focused on making you feel good, making you cum at least two times using his dick and his fingers.
After your second high you were so exhausted that you were breathing heavily and Jaehyun is helping you to calm down while kissing your boobs and sucking them playfully. Even your cute moments like this was caught on camera and Jaehyun was more than happy about it.
“You okay? Want to cum for the third time?” He reached for your phone, stop the recording and went back in between your legs again and kiss you wherever he wants. You didn’t answer him ‘yes’ because to be completely honest you were still exhausted and he understood you well. For a good quiet minutes he was just staring at you, flashing his dimples, raking his fluffy hair and biting his lips at the same time. The silence felt good and not the usual awkward silence you have.
“The next live that we will be doing is going to be our last. And our dorm rent will be settled in no time” he started.
“And?”
“I’ll miss you”
Ouch. You wish he kept the quietness and peace instead. Just as you thought that life will now let you be with Jaehyun peacefully, here comes the heartbreak again. Truth is Jaehyun is still scared and very much afraid to hurt you that’s why he just wanted to fix himself before he could date you officially. He didn’t want to pursue his feeling with you just because you did porn together and fucked live, no you deserve better than that.
He loves you. So much, but he’s not ready yet.
You wanted to shout at him and asked him what else does he want from you? He is so good at making you feel like you’re always not enough for him and that makes your mind go crazy. He did it again. He left you hanging again when you’ve completely fallen in love with him. Turns out he’s not willing and ready to catch you. But as usual, you do what you do best. Shrugged it off and continue to live like it’s not bothering you.  
The live fucking and porn making stopped for a while because you and Jaehyun have final exams. And the awkwardness between you and Jaehyun came back in no time, nonetheless, it was a good week to have a breather and to let yourself think straight. But still, you can’t help but think about everything and miss Jaehyun.
“Are you on your way home?” Johnny asks Jaehyun through the phone.
“Yeah, just buying us dinner”  
“Good. Y/n is on her period”
“Am I suppose to be happy because I didn’t get her pregnant?” He chuckled proudly and having no clue what Johnny was saying.
“Take care of her she has period cramps dumb ass!“
“Oh right- right… sorry. Okay, yeah”
When Jaehyun arrived with the stuff that Johnny told him to buy for you and the dinner Jaehyun bought you, you were twisting in hurt inside your room grunting and very vocal about the pain while you hug the hot compress Johnny left you when Jaehyun entered your room.
“Ah- fuck it hurts” you groan and curl yourself, pressing that hot compress more on your lower abdomen and endure your period cramps. Jaehyun is just so sweet to stay beside you and rub your back while he watches you suffer.
“I want to help. Do you need anything other than that hot compress?” He was concerned and willing to make you feel better.
“Nothing I’m fine. You’re so sweet” you said in a little irritated tone but you’re not actually irritated with him. He scrolls through his phone with one hand, while the other is rubbing and caressing your back to give you comfort.
“Google says sex is good when-“
“I’m not having period sex with you, Jaehyun” but you do want him to touch you. Stupid hormones. Stupid period. It just makes you crave for him even more, desperate for even a kiss, or even just with his body closer to you.
“Are you horny?” He asks without shame, smiling at you and hoping that you say yes.
“I am” you admitted
“Just say yes, I got you” he was like seducing you, luring you to sin with him tonight while you bleed. And you like it.
“Okay” you answered softly. Shy but he knew you’re not that type anymore.
Jaehyun scoop over and went under the covers with you. Giving you that warmth that you need, making your body warm and comfortable, and basically giving everything you want. He intertwines his fingers with you, kissed your knuckles, and then your lips. Softly. Slowly. It’s every girl’s dream kiss. And just like his kiss, his hand creeps under the covers, all the way down until he reaches your thighs and spread one leg to gain access to your hole.
“W-wait. Let me just remove the tampon” shyly you inform him and discarded it quickly under the covers and throw it into the trash bin. Going back to the comfort that Jaeyun is giving you, his hand went back in between your legs and tease your clothed slit the moment you’re back under the covers. Smiling so handsomely and innocently while he lies beside you like he’s not doing something lustful under the covers.
“Do you think this will work-“ and just before you finish your question, Jaehyun ran a finger on your very wet slit which turned him on immediately. He flicked his finger, drawing small circles in your nub and listening to you moan while your grip on the sheets tightens and try your best not to close your legs.
“Do you like this?” his lips were very close to your neck and the way he talks to you was so sultry that even his words can make you moan.
“Mhmm. F-fuck Jae, my clit is sensitive” but your legs say others wise because you spread them even more under the covers and your hips voluntarily move to meet his fingers. When he felt your legs shake and hear your moans become higher than usual, he figured you were close, went on top of you and started to hump your thigh while his hand is inside your now ruined panties reaching deep in your hole making you feel good and over sensitive. Jaehyun grunted so loud and moaned deliciously beside your ear, moving his hips like how he fucks you and you feel his hard cock poke your thigh from the inside of his pants. Soon, Jaehyun came inside his pants and did not care about being embarrassed.
While you were coming down from your high, the man on top of you kept kissing you like you’re all that matters to him. Even though you well know that you’re just fooling yourself.
The night ended with Jaehyun sleeping beside you and further taking care of you after you both cleanup. But you woke up the next day without him beside you and thankfully, Johnny came out of nowhere to rescue you from your ugly thoughts. He came into your room with a cup of coffee and some bread for you, smiling like he has no problems in life and to be honest, you love how he’s always like this.
Since both of you don’t have classes today, you went to the groceries with Johnny and had a nice dinner at a fast food he loves. It felt great. It felt great to be with a guy who’s not Jaehyun. The man always keeps you on your toes and you feel like your head is always in the clouds whenever you’re with him but Johnny, he keeps you grounded.
“Shoot. The landlord is really testing me- he wants the money tonight or else they have to kick us out tomorrow. Fuck!” He says typing aggressively on his phone, telling Jaehyun immediately.
“Were not due until next week why are they doing this to us. We have no choice but to go live then” you said calmly, unbothered as much as possible because you just want this to be over now and move on from Jaehyun.
“You can't. You have your period and Jaehyun is not available- fuck why is he not picking up”
“There are other ways to make a guy cum Johnny. I’m sure you know that” you chuckle and shook your head in disbelief.
“Still, Jaehyun is not answering” he gave up and put down his phone.
“Well you’re available. I just want this to be over Johnny” clearly he didn’t expect you to suggest such a thing. You continue to eat your food in silence and so is the man in front of you. Obviously, he was bothered with what you suggested but it appears that he has no choice. You watch him fidget on his phone, maybe he’s not yet done contacting Jaehyun and still hoping that his friend will end up last minute but...
“Okay” he let a sigh of relief, “I texted Jaehyun that well do it but we're not going to uhm- uh, fuck. Blow job then? No more, no less? A bit of kissing maybe. Tell me what do you want? I’ll be able to do this comfortably if I know that you like what I’m doing to you”
“Hmm. Okay, let’s start by... be gentle with me. You’re a big guy and you know... what I mean”
“I may be big physically but I’m warm on the inside, being gentle is not a problem” he smiles and pour you a glass of water before he asks for the bill. “What else?” he added.
“Touch me, don’t hesitate. If you feel like my jaw needs rest then you can tell me to stop” he nods and told you he will surely not forget about that.
The conversation went on until you reached home and get ready for the live. Unlike Jaehyun who made you feel so nervous the day you had your first live with him, Johnny makes you feel calm and comfortable the whole time.
Now that you’re in front of Johnny, half naked with only your panties and your mask on, everything happened perfectly. It wasn’t perfect but it wasn’t awkward too, and quite frankly you had fun with Johnny. Even though the audience noticed that you’re not with Jaehyun right now, they can’t help but love Johnny’s hot body too and the way he fuck your face gently in front of the camera. Hands cupping both sides of your face as he thrust his long, hard and veiny cock in your mouth. Smiling through the pleasure whenever you purposely swirl your tongue and bob your head aggressively.
After the cum-filled and messy live with Johnny, you wired the money to your landlord immediately and secure the rent for good until the three of you graduates. Now you and Johnny can breathe normally after cleaning up and enjoy the warmth of your bed. “Do you like Jaehyun?” He blurted out, trying not to look at your exposed boobs but you roll your body and face the ceiling and so his efforts went to waste.
“Yeah but I don’t think he likes me enough. Y-you know what I mean” he shook his head to tell you he has no idea about Jaehyun’s intentions with you.
“Just have patience with him if you like him, after all, you’re the only girl that can do this to him”
“Do what?” you ask with eagerness.
“Did you really think that I won't notice you two fucking behind my back?” You laughed at what he said and laughed your shyness away, “but it’s alright. I figured maybe you like each other so I didn’t dare stop you two”
The giggling and laughing with Johnny under the soft light of your lampshade continued until you passed out and Johnny was the one who helped you get dressed. And on the same night, Jaehyun heard and saw you and Johnny laugh over a half closed door. Seeing your bodies close to each other made his blood boil and became jealous in no time. That’s why on the next day, Jaehyun was expressing his anger while you three are gathered in the kitchen. He’s not saying a word, but he kept on closing the cabinets a little too rough while he prepares his meal. Then it hit you, he’s jealous.
You confronted him and went to his room, closed and locked the door so Johnny won't hear the unpleasant conversation you’re about to have with Jaehyun. “Don’t be angry with Johnny, I’m the one who suggested it-“
“Like that’s going to make me feel better Y/n. Get out, you’re wasting your time” he turned his back and proceeds to fix his bed.
“It’s not like we cheated Jae. Were not together” you blurted as calm as possible. Little did you know that you just triggered something in him that makes him want to punch a wall and pour his anger out but he can’t. At least not in front of you. So instead, he shouted at you. So loud that you got scared for a second there.
“You know, I’m always afraid to hurt you but you! You don’t care if you hurt me!”
“Don’t act as if you love me, Jae. You never did. You never even tried!” You shouted back and walked away towards his door, banging it and walked straight to your room with tears in your eyes.
The fight was short but unforgettable.
Later that day, Jaehyun got worried when you didn’t eat lunch and dinner and your door was still locked and he can hear you crying from the other side. He kept on knocking at your door until you got annoyed and unlocked it but you covered yourself with your thick sheets.
“Come on why are you crying? Don’t cry over a stupid guy like me you don’t deserve it. I’m sorry” you feel his embrace and rub your back so you know that he’s sincere. And finally, you removed the sheets but still, you don’t want to look him in the eye.
You have a lot of questions for Jaehyun, and you think now is the perfect time to cry it all out and let him know what he’s doing to you. Why he didn’t text you back the night after you fuck for the first time, why he never ask you out when he promised he would, why he’s jealous all of a sudden.
FLASHBACK (In the middle of junior year)
It was very late already and some crazy person is ringing your doorbell nonstop. This couldn’t be Jaehyun or Johnny obviously they don’t need to ring the doorbell because they live here and they know the code. That’s why you were surprised that Jaehyun is the one ringing it and turns out he is batshit drunk and can’t even remember the code. “Where is Johnny when you need him” you murmur, “Jae, help yourself too. I can’t carry you all the way up to the fourth floor,” you said sternly to the handsome guy clinging on to you, breath smells like alcohol, eyes lidded but can still appreciate your beautiful face.
When you finally carried him successfully back to your place, without any hesitation he puked on your sleepwear and smiled so sweetly at you like he did nothing wrong. You wanted to slap him and wake him from his drunken state but Jaehyun was quick with his hands and unbutton your sleepwear and used it to wipe the small amount of puke on the floor.
You cover yourself with your arms and walked straight to your room and get a clean shirt before you take care of Jaehyun. He was murmuring “sorry” as he sees you walk away from him and weakly sit on the floor with dirty clothes and hope that you will come back to him.
When he sees you all dressed up again with a damped cloth on your hand, he smiled and spread his arms like he’s about to give you a hug. “Why are you acting cute- here hold this while I remove your socks” you hand him the damped cloth and proceed to remove his dirty socks and throw it with your dirty sleepwear. He looks at you lovingly as you wipe his face with the utmost care, looking at your lips and thinking about kissing it but no. He may be drunk but he won’t do that to you.
“Go on a date with me,” he says while you continue to wipe his face and help him take off his hoodie. You giggle and boops his nose before you stand and help him to get on his feet, “try asking me again when you’re sober” you opened his room door and told him to don’t forget to change his pants and greet him good night.
But after a few minutes, you’re all tucked in bed and half asleep already when you feel a pair of arms cage you. You can still smell his breath and figured maybe Jaehyun is clingy like this whenever he’s really drunk, which rarely happens.
“It's so sweet, knowing that you love me. Though we don't need to say it to each other, sweet. Knowing that I love you, and running my fingers through your hair. It's so sweet” he sings a few lines from Sweet by Cigarettes After Sex and smells your hair until his breath tickles your nape.
Sweet. He’s not only clingy while he’s drunk, but he’s sweet too. “I think I like you more when you’re rarely this drunk” you turn your body and faced him. Seeing Jaehyun with sleepy eyes, lips curved in a weak smile, but arms conscious enough to keep you near him.
“Then I’ll get drunk every day if that makes you love me”
But on the next day, he just thanked you for taking care of him and forgot about the date. And on the next few days and following weeks, you hear him fuck different girls and have one night stands every now and then.
BACK TO PRESENT TIME SENIOR YEAR
“I keep on hurting you I’m sorry. Don’t cry, please. I hate that I’m hurting you. This is the reason why I can’t pursue my feelings for you. I’m a mess and I’m not ready”
And just as you thought that this day couldn’t get any worse. It just did. You look at Jaehyun as he tells you the truth and admits his true feelings with you. How he fell in love with you but chose not to pursue his feelings because he’s not ready and you deserve better. And from there you stopped listening to him and told him to leave you alone. Jaehyun was speechless and hopeless, he wanted to explain and express his long bottled feelings for you but you don’t want to.
All this time you thought that it’s you who’s lacking that’s why he can’t even try and ask you out. But now that you know the truth and he would rather make you feel small than swallow his pride and try to make things work with you, well you just can’t be around him anymore.
Graduation is approaching near and your dorm has been quiet ever since you finished paying the rent and Jaehyun got mad because of what you and Johnny did. You look at the quiet place while you eat your instant noodle and reminisce the good days you spent with the two giants who made your college years unforgettable and happy. Actually, they even made your life easier.
Days become even more lonely now that Jaehyun and Johnny became busy with their last requirements and you’ve been alone for a few days now. You wake up without the two boys, go to class or run some errands, they go home but you’re not home, and by the time you arrive home they have shifts to the radio station again.
Today is your birthday and you spend it with some of your classmates which are all sweet and you treat them to dinner. Johnny left a bouquet of flowers on your bed before he left for work, together with a sweet happy birthday card. And Jaehyun… well, let’s just say that maybe he forgot about it because being a graduating student makes you busy.
While you were having a nice dream of Jaehyun singing a happy birthday song to you with a small cupcake in his hand, in reality, he woke you up by patting your head and a kiss on your forehead, whispering ‘I’m sorry’ and kissing your face until you’re awake and what’s happening right now is finally registering in your mind. You wrapped your arms around him and decided to forgive him for being stupid and accept his apology. “Is this for me?” you point at the chocolate cake on the bedside drawer a blew the candle, making your room dark and only the soft light from your window lights up your room.
“What did you wish for” he came closer to you and rests his forehead on yours. Oh you missed his presence, but all you feel right now is the heartbreak and remember what happened a few weeks ago.
“You, Jaehyun” you whisper and closed your eyes, not caring if there are tears in your eyes. You’re not afraid to show him that you ache for him.
“I told you, I can’t-“ you didn’t want to hurt yourself further and listen to those hurtful words so you kissed him and pulled him on top of you.
Everything happened so fast and naturally. You removed your shorts, he was quick to spread your legs and free his hardening cock. Not even bothering to reach for a condom, he fucked you in the dark and whispered “I’m sorry” over and over again that it hurts your ear and your heart so you put your thumb in his mouth and let him suck it good while his thrust was slowly picking up the pace and you hear skin slapping surrounds your room
“Jaehyun-“ you moan his name when you felt that familiar feeling of being on edge but you’re not yet ready to let go. You’re not yet ready to let him go. So you tried with all your might to clench and stop yourself from cumming but what you’re doing to Jaehyun just makes him want to fuck you more.
And so he did.
He covered your mouth not because he didn’t want to let Johnny know that you’re fucking but because he never wants to hear your beautiful moans again. He closed his eyes so he could no longer see your face and dream about you underneath him, and with that, he continues to thrust so harshly that it’s hurting you so good and your grip on his shoulders will surely leave a mark.
Soon you failed and cum before Jaehyun could. You exchanged sharp exhales, gasps, and quiet grunts before he lies beside you and kiss you deeply the whole night. One last time.  
As expected, you woke up alone in your bed with a sore body. You stretched for a few minutes before you got out of bed and head outside to have breakfast. At first, you thought that you will be alone again today but turns out Johnny is free.
“Belated Happy birthday. Did you like the flowers I got you?” he greets you good morning and gave you a bear hug.
“I did. I put it in a vase, it’s in my room. Thank you” now that Johnny is here and you’re not alone eating breakfast, you can’t help but wish for Jaehyun to be here.
“Jaehyun is uhm… working. I can take you out today, let’s have dinner and celebrate your birthday again. What do you say?” he offers excitedly and even showed you a great restaurant from his phone.
When the evening comes and you and Johnny should be out by now but you were having a hard time to chose what to wear, Jaehyun arrived out of nowhere with a girl on his shoulders. Someone not familiar and they’re holding hands.
“I think your friends are going out on a date aren’t they babe?” the girl asks Jaehyun, like she's tying to get his attention but Jaehyun’s eyes are glued on you. Eyes that are very much sorry because he didn’t mean for you to see his new girlfriend after your birthday. So this is why Johnny was rushing you tonight. He didn’t want you to see Jaehyun with his new girlfriend because he knew it will hurt you greatly.
“Y/n-“ Jaehyun called you but you didn’t bother looking back and told Johnny that you’re ready now… even though your earrings don't match with your dress. If he can try and be in a relationship with someone else then what does that make you? Why can’t he try for you?
The night went on, carrying the lie that you’re okay but to be honest, you don’t want to go back to that fucking dorm. Good thing, Johnny was trying so hard to cheer you up and make you forget about what happened. Which is working and for that you’re thankful.
On the same night, you swore to yourself that you will never let Jaehyun into your life again and make you feel small. You will never throw yourself to him again, or even spare a glance and waste your time with the one and only guy whom you allowed to break your heart over and over again. But not anymore.
Jaehyun was nothing but sweet to you and that’s all he’ll ever be.
Five years later
When you came home from work, you caught your boyfriend cooking dinner with a glass of cold wine beside him. You greet him, “hey” and kissed him on the cheek before you wrap your arms around his strong built body.
“Tired? Hows work? I have big news” he says while stirring something from the pan. You told him he could tell the big news first because he looks excited, and so he did. With big smiles and overflowing excitement, he said that “Jaehyun is going to get married and I’m his best man!” you almost let out a laugh but you stopped yourself.
“Mhmm. Guess who’s taking care of the wedding....” you teased him. But just as you burst your boyfriend’s bubble, his reaction was quite unexpected.
“N-no, don’t tell me it’s you” he suddenly stopped cooking, he wasn’t mad. Just shocked at the moment and because of the big news.
“Johnny- Don’t tell me you’re being jealous right now...” you tease him further, “he’s like a college fling baby, and you’re the real deal!” you kiss him on the lips but he’s still sulking and went back to cooking.
“We both know it’s not just a fling” he whines.
“He’s getting married and we’re literally inseparable. What are you so jealous of? You know I saw Jaehyun looked at his fiancé and guess what,”
“What?” he turns off the stove and prepared two plates for dinner which you helped him do.
“He never looked at me that way, but you did” you see a shy smile on his face now and poke his cheek but he's quick to catch your hand and pull you into a hug. The kind of hug only Johnny can provide.
“Sorry, that was so childish of me”
“It’s okay. Dinner looks good, is this a new recipe?”
Soon after dinner, Johnny expresses his apology in bed in many ways he can, making you feel good and treating you right as always until it became too exhausting because you don’t think you could cum anymore after having your fourth…or fifth? To be honest you’re not sure anymore.
But even though you’re tired and exhausted, you still can’t help but reminisce. Throughout the years of forgetting Jaehyun, Johnny has always been patient with you and waited for you to heal from Jaehyun. Johnny brought you to the movies and went out with you while Jaehyun only promised. It's like Jaehyun kept promising you things but Johnny is the one keeping them.
“I thought you’re exhausted?” He kissed your shoulder to bring you back to Earth when he saw you spacing out. “Stop thinking. I’ll marry you too, you know that right?” oh you know that all too well, so you nod and kissed him. Whispered ‘i love yous’ over and over again, and thanked him for being the one for you. It was never easy for both of you, but still, you yearn for each other. Sometimes, love will point us to the wrong person so we could find the right person to us. Yes, Jaehyun was sweet, but Johnny is not only sweet in fact he showed his love to you since day 1.
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hi-hey-haechan · 4 years
Note
it's the same anon from earlier, can I request nct 127 reaction to playfully slapping their s/o's butt, and then getting surprised when their s/o whimpers/moans?
It only took like two weeks, and this is the worst thing I’ve ever written on here. It will flop like crazy, too, but this literally took so long to write. Plus, it was so hard to think of a scenario for everyone. At the same time, though, I thought of so many new ideas for stories in the future, hehe...
Oh, and these also vary in length. If one of them is really short, I probably wrote that one first, trying to keep everything condensed. I did Winwin’s and Taeil’s last, and I stopped trying to keep it short...as you can tell.
Taeil
For the record, it was impossible not to clown Taeil following his awkward session with Jeno. You were being so annoying, but you couldn’t stop laughing for the entirety of both videos. You asked Taeil if you had to make sure that Jeno wouldn’t steal him away from you. Time and time again, you pulled the “Oing,” hoping he’d say Aing.”
At first, he was really bashful and giggly about it. He’d enjoyed spending time with Jeno, but it was admittedly pretty awkward, as it was supposed to be. As he reported, “It was awkward, but it was okay.” However, at points throughout the day, you’d bring up an action of Taeil’s during the video that he may have forgotten, or one that he’d wish to forget.
He was patient, but it got to the point where he had to right-out ask, “Y/n, can you stop bringing that up? It’s not as funny as it was earlier.” His voice couldn’t have been sweeter, and you felt pretty guilty.
“Okay, I’ve been really overbearing. I’ll stop, sorry. Oing?” you asked with a “genuine” smile.
What you weren’t expecting was for him to playfully slap your butt. He said “Aing” in a bored tone, but the action was pretty exciting. At the same time, Taeil wasn’t expecting a whimper to pass your lips at the action. He was so caught off-guard, asking you if you’d done that because of him. He didn’t pursue this new discovery at the moment, but he definitely did later on.
Johnny 
Even though you knew that you were no match for Johnny, you ran away, holding the thermos with his coffee in one hand. The trail upon which you were walking opened up into a large green field, where you could frolick, or in this case, sprint, freely. You heard Johnny yelling your name from not-too-far away, and an involuntary fit of giggles overcame you, causing a falter in your step. 
When you looked behind you, Johnny, too, was sprinting towards you. You’d stolen one of the only things he loved more than you, and that was coffee. As a result, he desperately wanted to get his caffeine boost back. You couldn’t have even told him why you stole his coffee -- you just wanted to be annoying, you supposed. It was pretty impulsive.
Eventually, a pair of arms encircled your waist, bracing you from going forwards any further. A squeal left your lips, but you melted back into Johnny’s embrace, allowing him to take back his coffee. Playfully, he lightly spanked you, as if to reprimand you for your behavior. 
The contact in such an intimate place surprised you, but you couldn’t say truthfully that you didn’t enjoy it. When you let out a quiet moan, Johnny raised his eyebrows.”My baby liked that, didn’t you? If you enjoy being spanked so much, I’m gonna put that to use later on.”
Taeyong
You’d gotten so riled up just by watching him perform. The demon that possessed him onstage made him wildly attractive and could also make you wildly needy. When you greeted him offstage, he pulled you into a hug, his bright smile lighting up your entire being. When Yuta came into view, you grinned at him and praised his performance, as well. 
“Hey,” Taeyong said, “You’re my girlfriend, remember?” His tone was light and playful, clear that he was joking. He left the smallest smack to your butt, kind of sealing his statement. When you let out a quiet moan, Taeyong froze. “Did you just...?”
When your face heated up from embarrassment, your boyfriend smirked lightly, surprised by the effect he had on you. “Hey, you know what seeing you onstage does to me,” you said defensively. 
“I guess I might as well help you out with that.”
Yuta
Leave it to Yuta to know exactly how to turn you on, to know where you were most sensitive. He’d make contact with the places that made goosebumps break out across your skin, the action seeming as subtle as possible to anyone watching. However, Yuta knew that you’d struggle to keep a straight face.
Now, this boy was sick and tired of standing around, watching you talk to the other boys as though you were best friends with them. He was horny, and you weren’t even near him. When you walked over to Mark, he decided that he’d had enough. (Then again, was he more jealous of Mark, for talking to you, or you, for talking to Mark...?)
So when he walked over to you and carefully, lightly brought his hand down on your ass, he meant to simply get your attention. He squeezed the flesh, which legitimately coaxed a moan out of you. Yuta’s eyes were wide when he heard the noise, and Mark immediately coughed and excused himself.
When your eyes met Yuta’s, you knew what you were in for. He was smirking, and he repeated his earlier action, attempting to coax the same reaction out of you. He’d definitely use this to his advantage, turning you on just from his hand on your behind.
Doyoung
This boy would lowkey want to try out spanking you in the bedroom in the first place, but your reaction wasn’t what he’d anticipated.
He was reprimanding you for having not eaten lunch, gently telling you that you needed to eat and keep your strength up, especially while working, Doyoung knew that you were probably sick of his scolding, but he did it because he cared so much about you. If you weren’t going to take care of yourself, he at least was going to try to get you to.
You, however, appreciated his worry, and you honestly found it sweet when he scolded you, looking so worried at the same time. Even still, you wanted him to stop repeating the same point he’d made clear already, so you decided to press your lips against his. He gasped against your lips, which allowed you to slip your tongue into his mouth.
Doyoung broke away, and he lightly slapped your ass. While he said, “You did that just so I’d stop talking, didn’t you?” he heard you let out a needy whimper. He froze for a second, staring at you with wide eyes. “Did you...enjoy that?” When you nodded, he said, “You. Me. Bedroom. Now”
Jaehyun
As soon as he’d gotten back, he went to take a nap in your shared bedroom. “Sleep,” you told him, “I’ll have dinner ready for you in a few hours. As a result, he slept, having been awake for about 34 hours straight. The food you were making was cooking in the oven when Jaehyun started to stir.
The first thing he could make sense of was Chungha music playing fairly loudly from the other room. Confused, he got out of bed, not even putting on a shirt, and walked down the hall.The sight he beheld was you dancing to “Play” by Chungha all around the living room. “What a glorious thing to wake up to,” he said as you jumped, scared out of your wits for a moment. “You should be Chungha’s next backup dancer.”
“I will hit you,” you said, walking over to where Jaehyun was standing. You lightly punched his shoulder before burying your face in his bare chest, absolutely mortified. You felt his chest vibrate as he laughed, and his arms encircled you gently. 
What you weren’t expecting was him to playfully slap your butt as he said, “You’re so cute.” A quiet whine passed your lips, as much as you hadn’t wanted it to. He knew you were sensitive there, and his action left you wondering what his motivation was. 
Quickly, you tried to change the subject. “Dinner’s almost ready.”
But the smirk on Jaehyun’s lips wasn’t faltering. Let’s just say your dinner was slightly delayed...
Winwin
“Come here,” he said, holding his arms out, as if he was inviting you into his embrace. You, of course, gladly accepted. Sicheng wasn’t always the cuddly type, but when he was, you could swear that you never felt happier. His soft hair tickled your skin, and his arms around you kept you close.
You, however, weren’t in a cuddling type of mood. You craned your neck forward a bit to kiss him, and your entire body melted into him. Hoping the kiss would catch fire, you brought one hand up to tangle in his hair. Sicheng seemed to have been caught a bit off-guard, but he wasn’t by any means showing resistance.
When you rolled on top of him, your knees straddled his narrow hips, and he looked up at you with a surprised expression. In order for him to give you what you wanted, he had to know what it was that you wanted, first. You kissed him, and it was clear that you really wanted something more than this. You deepened the kiss, groaning against his mouth, when Sicheng kind of turned his head, catching his breath. 
“Woah, what’s gotten into you?” he inquired breathlessly, but his hands moved to grab your waist, a subtle action showing that he appreciated the kissing.
“Um...I missed you?” At your hesitant answer, he still broke out into a smile. “Do you want me to stop?”
“Not at all. C’mere,” he said again, pulling you closer to him. However, when your lips met his, a hand came down against your butt, and it rested there, something that was so unlike him yet not at all unwelcomed. You whined against his mouth, and you then broke away immediately. 
Sicheng didn’t even say a word. He squeezed the flesh of your ass, hearing you gasp. A smirk formed on his lips, which was pretty rare for him, but dang, was it attractive. He pulled you down for another kiss, using this new discovery to his advantage.
Jungwoo
When you were with him, Jungwoo always maintained some sort of physical contact with you. He’d hold your hand, have an arm around your waist, or so much as leave a light touch on your arm if he was engaged in conversation with someone else while you were there.
When you were talking to Doyoung, Jungwoo wanted to get your attention. He was standing next to you, and snaking an arm around your waist didn’t even get you to look his way. As a result, Jungwoo lightly smacked your ass. It wasn’t painful, but it was shocking, and you couldn’t truthfully say that you hated it. You let out the quietest whimper, eyes wide with surprise.
Doyoung excused himself, and Jungwoo looked at you with an equally shocked expression as yours. “I...I didn’t think you’d react like that. Not that I’m complaining, though.”
Mark
After being together for so long, Mark was less timid when it came to affection, and he’d even initiate it at times. Yuta and Haechan were probably getting jealous at how easily he’d show affection around you, but you found it so endearing and sweet. 
So when Mark decided it would be a good idea to slap your ass while you were casually cooking in the kitchen, it seemed slightly forced and hesitant. You weren’t anticipating it, but you, by no means, disliked it one bit. Involuntarily, you let out a small moan, both to yours and Mark’s shock.
You turned your head to look at him, the ramen that was cooking temporarily forgotten. His ears were red; his eyes were wide, and his lips were slightly parted in surprise. “Um. I’m sorry. Was that weird? It was weird, wasn’t it? But why did you moan? Oh, shoot, that was a weird question to ask. I’m sor--”
You shut him up with a kiss to his lips. When you broke away, you told him, “You know, commonly, a person moans if something feels good. Now, what does that tell you about what you just did?”
Haechan
He’d been at practice all day, from 4 AM to 8 PM, so it was safe to say that Haechan was exhausted. You’d promised to meet him at the SM building with food, but all he wanted to do was go home and cuddle with you, to fall asleep in each other’s arms.
What he hadn’t anticipated was for Jungwoo to follow him to the doors of the company building, discussing the choreography they’d just practiced. What was even more surprising was when you showed up and were included into the conversation. You ignored Haechan’s constant clinging to you, hugging you tightly and nuzzling his head into the nape of your neck. 
You moved your hand up to tangle in his soft hair, but you continued your conversation, Haechan, who was tired, frustrated, and clingy, lightly slapped your butt, trying to get your attention. It caught you by surprise, and you let out a little whimper. 
Haechan looked at you, removing his head from your shoulder. His lips curled into a smirk, and he said, “So that’s how I can get your attention. Good to know.” Poor Jungwoo just stood there awkwardly
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aspenflower17 · 4 years
Text
Finding You (Part Thirteen of ??)
Hewwo! It’s another update, coming at you kinda late but on a Sunday nonetheless! I hope everyone had a good holiday season, and that these last couple days of 2020 are being nice. I’m calmly greeting the new year and hoping it doesn’t get flustered 🙄
Anywho, if you’re new here, here’s a link to Part One for you, if you so choose to read it!
Tags because they’re great (both the tags and the people!):  @simpingforsatan @naimena @hachimochi @wrathandgreed @magi-minminxiii @rensphilia @a-dream-at-night @chloelikesobeyme @getbehindme-satan @theuglypugling @oofthelazyweeb (If you want to be put in the tags, let me know in a comment or dm me!)
Satan/ F!Mc
Word Count: 2,366
Trigger Warnings: Light... bullying? Maybe...
“Ah, there you are Satan,” Lucifer said when he walked into the room.
“Found him flirting,” Asmo giggled, walking in behind him, “I’m sure you can guess with who.”
“Ugh. Normies,” Levi huffed from behind his gaming console.
“You work fast,” Belphie smirked, a glint of mischief in his purple eyes.
“I… Just heard music, and followed it,” Satan sighed.
“Oh yes, because so many people in this castle play music,” Asmo teased, “You knew exactly what you were doing.”
“I… Let’s just go eat.”
“Hehe, you basically just admitted you were looking for her!” Asmo practically sang.
“Asmodeus. Now is not the time or place for this. We are in mixed company and we are late for dinner. Please refrain from other comments,” Lucifer scolded.
“Psh. You’re no fun tonight,” Asmo pouted, though he went quiet after that.
Satan watched Lucifer as they made their way to the dining hall. He knew Lucifer wasn’t looking forward to being forced to spend time with Michael, but there seemed to be another level to his annoyance. Actually, thinking about it, this new attitude started after the ball. What’s got him so upset?
His thoughts were cut short by Barbatos’ sudden appearance, “If you’ll follow me this way.”
“Ah, Barbatos. I do apologize. We had a… disappearance,” Lucifer shot Satan a glare, to which Satan responded with an eye roll.
“It is quite alright. M… Jane explained everything to us. Lord Diavolo is very excited to hear he helped her finish her composition, and is looking forward to them performing it for us tonight,” he said this with a look at Satan that left no room for argument.
“As long as… Jane is alright with it.”
Barbatos smiled and nodded his head, “Glad to hear,” then to Lucifer, “His Lord is very happy you are all here. We have quite a feast prepared tonight, including…” Barbatos turned and started walking, the brothers all following. Satan stopped listening, instead, focusing on the square envelope in his jacket pocket. He knew he’d have to wait until he was in the seclusion of his bedroom, but he really wanted to hear what she had to say. She had been friendly toward him earlier, so he desperately hoped her letter would be something positive. Even the small amounts of time he’d been able to spend with her had been the best he had had since she had left. He could feel himself loosening up, her presence a balm to his pain and anger. Though she was now an angel, one that didn’t remember their relationship, one that had grown up in the Celestial Realm, at her core she still had the same soul. The one he and all his brothers had fallen for. The one that had picked him last time. If there was any chance for him to win her back, he would use it and regain what he lost.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Oh, that reminds me of the time he started drunk texting everyone! It was during the first exchange program and he decided we needed to have a drinking contest. Remember that Lucifer? He ended up texting everyone close to him to tell them he loved them! I remember Simeon approaching me, wanting to make sure he was okay. The look on his face when I told him it was because Lucifer got drunk!” Diavolo and Michael started laughing, though they were the only ones.
The dinner had started off fine. Michael had seemed nervous, not saying anything for a good ten minutes besides greetings to the brothers. The brothers themselves were polite, though not friendly. They all worked towards letting Michael know that, talking to everyone but him. And why shouldn’t they? Their human was back, though not a human anymore. Even Levi had started talking to her when Diavolo had started his stories.
“Michael, did I ever tell you about the first time Lucifer came down to the Devildom?” Diavolo’s voice was loud and left everyone silent.
Levi, who was about to respond to something Mc had asked, sighed and leaned back in his chair pouting.
“I don’t believe you have.”
“Well, let me tell you about it. When I first saw Lucifer….” And Diavolo continued. Lucifer was trying very hard to act like he couldn’t hear Diavolo. The way he gripped his fork and his very stiff behavior gave him away. Someone would have to be deaf not to hear Diavolo, which was the point, “And then he left. Though I had said I wasn’t looking for friendship, I couldn’t help but be drawn to him. After he asked if we could speak again… Let’s just say, I was overjoyed. I never expected things to turn out the way they did from that first meeting, but I’m glad they did.”
“I remember him coming back up to the Celestial Realm. I was in the room while he gave our Father his report. He did mention the bad soil, and that he thought your very good manners and hospitality were all an act. He did mention how he did think we should consider your olive branch if you will. I will admit, I thought the whole idea preposterous the first time I heard it, but seeing as how I’m here now, it seems it’s not as crazy as it sounds.”
“I appreciate that Michael,” Diavolo smiled. To anyone looking closely, there was almost a ghost of a smile on Lucifer’s face. Then Diavolo gasped, his eyes shining, “Oh, I totally forgot about the time Lucifer got a cake to the face!” Lucifer abruptly stiffened again, more rigid than he had been before, the red of his eyes seeming to alight.
The conversation devolved from there, the two sharing stories back and forth. Lucifer had broken his fork by holding it too tightly, though he didn’t seem to have registered what he’d done. The glow of his power and displeasure were starting to swirl around his being. Barbatos had left the room to get him another one and was yet to return. Everyone else in the room was slowly inching away from the Avatar of Pride.
“That reminds me of when he-”
“Lucifer!”
All eyes turned toward Mc who had been sitting next to him the whole time but who now seemed intent on speaking to him. Michael, who had been cut off, looked at her in confusion. As Lucifer’s eyes landed on her she visibly shivered, but continued, “I hear you play piano, and are very accomplished at that.”
“Yes, I do.” The answer was curt and so cold it was almost frozen.
“Oh Mc, you should hear him play! He started playing in the Celestial Realm, and I’ve never heard anyone before or since that-”
“That’s great Michael,” Mc answered, cutting him off for a second time, “When I play for you all tonight, would you be willing to make any notes on what I can improve on? It’s been so long since I’ve met someone who could actually give me an honest opinion and real constructive criticism, I would definitely regret it if I didn’t ask you,” she then looked at him with such veneration, Satan instantly felt jealous. Did he not tell her he had worked really hard to get as good at Lucifer? If she wanted pointers, she should just ask him.
Lucifer blinked a couple of times before answering, most of the anger gone from his voice, “If you would like.”
“Really? Oh, I would appreciate that so much! Oh, I can barely wait now!”
Could she be…
“I’ve eaten my fill if you would like some direction now…”
“I’ve eaten enough as well. Would that be alright, Lord Diavolo?”
“That should be fine. In fact, if no one has any objections, how about we all adjourn to the music room. I am very curious to hear the song you’ve been working on.”
Beel looked down at his plate with disappointment, though he quickly shoved the food in his mouth, but no one else had any objections, so they all started to make their way to the music room. Lucifer had latched onto Mc’s arm, talking quietly with her. Satan glared at his back, though he was glad Mc had saved him from Michael and Diavolo so tactfully. She had been able to save his pride and even stoak it a little, ensuring the situation diffused.
“She’s really good at this,” Asmo whispered in Satan’s ear.
“Of course she is,” Satan answered more curtly than he meant to.
“Awww, is someone jealous?” Asmo teased.
“How could I not be?”
“I guess. He’s not the one she’s going to be performing with though,” Asmo answered, before rushing forward to talk to Luke.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Satan sat next to Mc at the piano bench, needing to wait until his part. Though he tried not to, his eyes kept wandering to her face, so expressive as she played. He almost missed his entrance, though the pause was a bit more dramatic that way. They performed as well as they had earlier, possibly better since they’d already played it once before, though it didn’t feel as intimate as it had before. He could only assume it was because they now had a crowd. Well, that and the fact Lucifer was hovering now. When they finished, everyone clapped, Mammon actually whistling.
“I can tell the ending was composed earlier today,” Lucifer began before the clapping had subsided, “It was much less polished than the rest of the piece. I also noticed Satan almost missed his cue...-”
“Would it be better if I were to play some of my other pieces?” Mc cut in. Lucifer had been looking at Satan, about to say something more, “I know it’s good to have feedback when you haven’t nearly perfected a piece, but since I’m looking for the feedback… Oh, I do need a ” She gestured a bit helplessly.
“Very well. Let’s do that then.”
Satan exited the bench, Mc moving to the middle again. Lucifer remained where was at which annoyed Satan. He wasn’t sure if she had intervened in Lucifer’s little rant on purpose, but he was grateful for it. He wasn’t really used to being the brother that was chewed out in public, and he knew he was rusty, but he hadn’t come to the dinner tonight expecting to play for everyone. Not that he couldn’t have handled it had it happened.
The familiar sounds of Bach’s Prelude No. 1 in C Major began, though a bit slower than Satan was used to. He wasn’t surprised Mc knew the song. It was the type of music that would be played in the Celestial Realm. It was a beautiful song, though he would’ve preferred one of her own compositions. He was also a bit confused as to why she was playing it slower than one usually would.
When she was done, Lucifer said the one thing he’d been thinking, “That wasn’t the right tempo.”
“I apologize about that,” Mc blushed, “I’m still getting used to this instrument.” She was getting used to…
Lucifer had the decency to look chagrined, “I apologize I should’ve realized.”
“Oh, it’s alright. I did ask for pointers. I’ve been practicing for a bit now, so I hope it sounds alright.”
“I did notice…” Lucifer launched into a whole rant, Mc paying attention the whole time, even asking for pointers when she didn’t fully understand what he meant. Having made himself feel better by having his ego stroked a bit and by bossing someone around, Lucifer sat down simply listening to her play.
There were some more classics by human composers and some of her own creation. Each one was absolutely beautiful and Satan found himself more and more impressed by just how accomplished she was. She had said he had influenced her a great deal when she was young, but what he saw was not just a child being impressionable. It was the zeal of someone who clearly enjoyed learning and wanted to better themselves. All too soon she asked for a reprieve, having played for a half-hour at least.
“Satan, why don’cha play us somethin’?” Mammon asked, turning towards him.
“Huh?”
“Yeah. It’s been a while since you’ve sat down and played something,” Asmo added, winking at him.
“I don’t even know what I’d play.”
“What about ‘Read My Heart’? I like that one,” Beel suggested, smiling over at him.
“That song’s for…” Satan trailed off.
“Exactly. Now, get your butt up there and play it,” Belphie sighed.
Satan approached the instrument slowly. The whole thing had started as a dare. Before Mc had officially chosen him, there had been a lot of back and forth between the brothers over who Mc’s favorite was. An idea that had been put forward was for each of them to write Mc a song. Satan knew his brothers were throwing their all into the song to make it as amazing as they could, Asmo actually bringing in a team to help him with his song, so he had thrown his all in as well, though he went with one instrument that he played himself to make sure it was as authentic as possible, putting every feeling he had for her into the song. His worry about her mortality, which had been well-founded. All the new feelings of love. Contentment. Acceptance. Belonging. Everything. He had been extremely satisfied with the results, though, just like most of their earlier “contests” it didn’t really decide anything.
He had never expected to play this song ever again. Mc had died. What was the point of ever playing it again? He’d written it for her anyway. But… she was back, and she was sitting right there. She had also never heard the song he’d written for her. She’d cried last time she heard it. Would she feel the same way this time?
His hands played the familiar keys, the notes ringing out just the way he remembered. He was afraid he wouldn’t be able to get the first line out, he became so overwhelmed with emotion. He did though, his voice strong. He hoped the lyrics would reach her. Would help her come back to him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part Fourteen
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sweetkyu · 4 years
Text
blue | sunwoo
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genre: angst, fluff.
warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol.
word count: 3.7k
n/a: i was inspired by some of jaden's songs to write this fic, this is the first time i post something so be kind hehe
i lost the count of how long i was standing in the middle of my living room, watching the rain fall down through the balcony door, holding onto my cup of chamomile tea with both hands. my mind had already given all the laps around the world as i just stood there. eyes locked to the world outside. empty head, no thoughts. nothing but kim sunwoo breaking into tears when i decided to end our relationship, three months ago. every day has been painful and sorrowful like this, since then. of course sometimes i can manage to just take a deep breath and try to live a day without thinking too much about it. today is the worst day until now because it's the day we would complete five years of dating, that is if we were together. to celebrate it, we had plans of traveling to norway to see the northern lights, a dream we dreamed together since we were kids.
i met kim sunwoo way before he became the boyz' main rapper sunwoo. i could never think that i would be this crazy in love with him when we met, but we don't know nothing about fate, i guess. and me and sunwoo, we were destined to be together, made for each other just like adam and eve. we have so much in common, we share the same dreams, we want to achieve the same things. our moms were university best friends, we didn't have much contact as kids, until the day our mothers decided to put us on the same school to study together... but why would they do that? nobody ever thought we were going to fall in love with each other, but when it happened, to our families it was just perfect. however, ten years after the first day in school together and here we are, here i am completely devastated and drowned in regret, chasing for sunwoo in every place. i thought i would be strong after all these years of relationship, after all the silly fights and misunderstandings i thought i would be able to ignore everything and stay by him, for him. and still i didn't.
his fans knew everything about us, since we started dating before he debuted. i was always there, at all concerts, fanmeetings, music shows. whenever i had the time, i was there in the backstage. deobis were mostly okay with us being together, some of them had social media accounts dedicated for us, i would see everything... and by everything, i mean literally. especially the fans who would hate me and send me messages saying that they wanted me dead, that sunwoo would be better off without me and so much more. that was when i became weak and started to believe in them. that was when my life became a mess in all areas, i was going through a major crisis in my job, my father was sick, some close friends stopped talking to me for no reason at all and sunwoo was on a one-month tour in japan. i was feeling lost, lonely, and i had to do something.
it was raining just like today on that night. i was preparing another cup of tea for me, my third round that day, when he got into the apartment. sunwoo was happy that he was finally home, he would tell stories about the tour and i would just pretend i was listening to them. he could notice something was off and asked me about it. in a whisper i replied him, "i wanna break up". it got silent for long and hard seconds, until i collected courage enough to look at him. the most painful thing i've ever seen, little did i know that scene would be tattoed in my mind for months. beautiful round eyes that i adore so much locking the tears so they wouldn't fall down, he nibbled at his bottom lip before asking "are you serious?" and i took a deep breath before nodding my head as a yes. sunwoo, then, began with the questions, demanding to know where all of that came from considering that we were so happy together. i was rude in my answers, saying that i was tired of the relationship and that i needed some time for myself. moments later and sunwoo went out, slamming the door behind him after i claimed that was the end. 
i've been living under this nightmare ever since, hating myself more every second because i was the one who put myself under this situation, who put sunwoo under this situation. for the past six months i had to just watch sunwoo through his work and social media, and sometimes i would know two or three things about him through chanhee, his fellow groupmate and best friend. chanhee was the only one who knew the truth about the break up and i made him swear he wouldn't tell no one, especially sunwoo, and so he did. in exchange, three months after, chanhee let me know about a mixtape sunwoo would release, mixtape which came out earlier today at midnight. i was kinda excited about this, it is his first solo work and i know how much he wanted to create something with his own touch, his own feeling. the mixtape is called 'blue' and it has only four songs, each named with every letter of the word blue. the songs tell a story on their own, so they make better sense if listened in order and all at once. in the lyrics, he talks about everything he had won as an artist and all that he lost because of that, all in a confused mix of feelings, sometimes full of anger and other times he would sound calm, and it's pretty clear that he is talking about me when he mentions a girl. since his group is now one of the most popular boy groups in korea, it didn't take long for his so waited mixtape to reach #1 in all digital platforms. i was so happy for him and so proud of his work, i even typed a text to send him but i just couldn't press the send button. instead, i expressed my happiness to chanhee, who was extremely comprehensive like always. 
as expected, i spent the entire day of today listening to this goddamn mixtape. every time i would hear his painful words it was like someone was putting a knife into my heart and, oh god, why did i brought so much suffering into this boy's life? this question kept on hammering my head the entire day until i decided i wouldn't listen to it anymore. i finished my shift at work without listening to any music, the background sound would be enough to make me company. i got into the subway with my coworkers just like any other day, they would say something about going out since it was friday and i would pretend i had some other important thing to do. and now, looking at all this rain that is falling outside, i think it was the best i could have done. i look at the clock ticking on the wall and although it's not even 10pm i decide to call it a day. i turn off the tv, let the empty mug by the kitchen sink and drag myself to the bedroom, laying down on my bed, getting comfortable around my pillows and under my fluffy blanket, letting the sleep take full control of my body.
it's still dark outside when i finally managed to free myself from the dream i was having. a dream where everything was fine and i could be found inside sunwoo's loving arms again, feeling his heart beat against mine, smelling his scent, hearing his sweet nothings being whispered at me. but then, so sudden, i looked deep into his eyes and recalled that it was only a dream. i would cry so hard while he would just look at me with a smile on his face. it's been a while since i had dreams like this one. i woke up with tears falling from my eyes, body shaking from head to toes. it took me a while to calm down, when i finally did i decide to have a glass of cold water. after going to the kitchen to drink it, i find my forgotten cellphone onto the dinner table. once i unlock it, i find some unread messages from chanhee.
[00:14] choi chanhee: y/n, i'm sorry but i think it's better for me to tell you
[00:14] choi chanhee: we were at a bar, sunwoo was drunk and started talking about you, saying he had to see you and he left
[00:15] choi chanhee: anyways he is going to your place, we couldn't stop him i'm sorry
[00:15] choi chanhee: call any of us if he acts weird okay? he seems to be out of himself this days... 
i let out a heavy sigh after seeing the messages were sent forty minutes ago, he will be here any time soon. to see sunwoo right now is what i want the most, surely, without any doubts. i miss him with everything that i have. but at the same time i don't feel ready enough for this, i'm not in my best moment, i don't know how i will react when i look at him; once it will be our first encounter after everything that happened between us. without noticing, i start pacing back and forth in my living room, feeling confused and nervous, anxiety growing inside me one more time that night and i feel my legs losing their strength, i sit by the couch as i try to take deep breaths in order to calm myself down again. this can't be happening, this can't be happening, this-- my thoughts are interrupted by the doorbell, followed by knocks on the door. i don't know how but i manage to get up and walk to the door with my jelly-like legs. i don't need to check before opening it. just like i had dreamed moments ago, sunwoo is right in front of me. dark circles around his beautiful eyes, the tip of the nose a bit red and he smells like he has been drinking and smoking for the past few hours. he is wearing black hoodies, black pants and black converse. all black, just the way he likes. i'm still giving no reactions, blinking at the sight of him, hoping for this to be another dream.
"hi" it’s all i can say.
"c-chanhee told me, y/n" he hiccups, taking a deep breath after "he told me everything" i look at him, trying to come up with a sentence but i just can't talk "a-about the haters and how that made you break up with me"
"sunwoo, i--" i stop in the middle of the sentence, couldn't finish because he literally jumped into my arms. a couple minutes later, i close the door behind us before readjusting his arms around me. with the head against his chest i can feel his heart bumping fast and his chin hovering above my head, and somehow it is recomforting. we stay like this for a couple moments, i stop feeling nervous and anxious as i feel his arms around me, calming me down, until his sobbing come into my ears "are you okay?" he nods, kissing the top of my head.
"i just..." i lift my head to look at him, red teary eyes looking deep into my eyes "why didn't you tell me, y/n? huh?" he holds my face with both hands "you can't do this, my love. how can you believe in what other people say when you know i'll love you forever?" he puts his forehead against mine and mumbles "please come back to me, i miss you so much" 
"sunwoo..." i take a deep breath and whisper "i don't know..."
"please, my love, please... i do anything!" his breath smells like alcohol "if you want me to leave the group, i'll do that right now!"
"stop saying nonsense, you know you can't do that!" i shake off his hands away slightly and he seems pretty offended, getting some steps away and looking back at me with angry but still sad eyes, tears now running down his cheeks without permission. a muscle in his jaw twitches making him look scary, yet i'm not afraid.
"it isn't nonsense! it's the truth!" he shouts "how could you believe those words when i am madly in love with you?--" sunwoo paces around the living room, hands messing his hair as if he was having an attack.
"sunwoo, you're screaming--"
"i can't eat, i can't sleep! all i can think about is you!" he takes a deep breath “i have my own pride! you can’t do this to me--”
"it's late, please lower your voice--"
“you can’t just leave me sick like this!” i scratch my forehead at his screamed words “you can’t throw away what we had, not this way!”
“sunwoo, please--”
"why did you have to do this?” he goes on “we've been together for so long, how could you let us just fall all apart?"
"sunwoo..."
"i can't breathe when you're not with me, y/n! fuck!" he slaps the flower pot that once was on top of the table, making it fall into the ground and break into pieces.
"oh my god, kim sunwoo! stop acting like crazy! look what you did!" he stares at me, gasping. i feel my cheeks getting red at the sudden wave of mixed feelings.
"i'm s-sorry" sunwoo looks to the ground and sighs before dropping on his knees, hysterically sobbing "it hurts so much, y/n. you're my everything! i can't stay away from you anymore" he lets out while crying "now why... why would you?" i don't know what to do, but i still keep watching him while holding back some tears.
it doesn't take too much until i can't take this agonizing scene anymore. i know he is tired and confused and i'm definitely not on the mood to fight, that's why i kneel down in front of him and let my hands cup his cheeks. i lift his head, taking a good look at his face as i start to wipe his teardrops away, still fighting back my tears, feeling my heart break into tiny little pieces "why don't you take a shower so you can calm down and then if you're not too tired we talk this through, huh? what do you say?" he opens a sad smile and nods, softly leaning his head against my hand as he searches for more of my touches.
with a certain difficulty, i manage to get him back on his feet but somehow he lost his balance, hardly being able to stand on his feet, so i help him walk to the bathroom while he keeps on muttering that he is sorry for everything and that he wants me back, making this even harder. once we are in the bathroom, i help him with his clothes before pushing him under the shower, i open the faucet, letting the water fall on his head.
"ah! it's cold!" he complains in a hiss, hugging his now naked body.
"i know, but you need it" i close the bathroom shower door, hearing as he mumbles something about not having extra clothes, making me sigh at the fact that he had forgotten that he owns at least three drawers in my dresser.
i walk back to the living room and clean up the mess sunwoo made. when finished, i decide to have a couple more glasses of water to calm down. i still can't believe this is happening. i draw in a long breath as i walk to the bedroom, i open one of sunwoo's drawers, which is exactly the same way it was the day he left. i pick up some clothes for him and soon when i stop hearing the sound of the water falling, i get back into the bathroom to hand sunwoo his clothes. he shyly thanks me before i walk out the room to give him some privacy. few minutes go by until sunwoo shows up in the room, wearing the navy blue pajamas i picked for him, dragging his body to the bed, where i am sitting on.
"i'm sorry, my love. sorry i'm a mess up" he mumbles, stopping in front of me, just by the look on his eyes i can feel that he is completely exhausted, like he would sleep for an entire day if he could. i don't say much, sighing only before getting up to take his hand and sit him down on the bed. i take the towel away from his hands and start to dry off his hair. i feel his hand touch my waist lightly, his thumbs caressing my skin over the material of my shirt, touches ever so soft just like his voice when he whispered "don't be mad at me"
"i'm not" i quickly answer back.
"yes, you are. you're not even looking at me, y/n" he puts his hands on my hands, making any movement of mine stop and then i finally look into his now swollen eyes, all i can see is sadness and sorrow.
"i'm not mad, sunwoo. i just don't like seeing you like that," i try not to cry but it's barely impossible "it makes me sad and it's even worse to know that you're suffering because of me" he wraps his arms around my waist when i drop the towel to the bed, covering my face as i sob uncontrollably.
i find shelter in sunwoo's arms moments later, when he makes me sit on his lap. i curl myself up inside his embrace, snuggling my nose on his neck and feeling his fingers going back and forth on my skin, sometimes he would kiss my temper and whisper some words, reminding me that he was there with me, calming me down.
"i'm so, so sorry for all of this" i hear myself saying after long minutes went by, he holds my  face on his hands, looking deep into my crying eyes "i was weak and made us suffer this badly" he nods at my words "i was in a bad place back then, i thought you wouldn't understand and got us all stuck in this even worse nightmare" he runs his thumb across my cheeks, wiping away some teardrops "i should've talked to you but i was afraid..."
"there was nothing for you to be afraid of, my love... we would have talked this through and find a solution together" i bob my head in comprehension as i feel his fingers put a lock of my hair behind my ear, tears falling silently this time "just like we will find one now, you are not alone. i’m with you, y/n"
"i'm so happy that you are here, sunwoo..." i let out in a whisper and i can watch his lips curve into a smile "i tried to text you before but i just couldn't" he nods.
"i understand, y/n. and it's totally fine" we grin at each other “and i’m sorry i didn’t call all this time and--” he is interrupted by a sudden yawn that makes us laugh, he apologizes right after "sorry, my love, i'm just feeling tired" he blinks lazily as i cross my hand through his hair.
"no, babe, i'm sorry for putting you up to this at this time, we should've talked in the morning" sunwoo shakes his head in denial, mumbling that it's okay "let's call it a day, shall we?" he nods once again that night.
"perfect idea, my love" i smile at him.
my hand fall from his hair to his chin as i put the other one on his shoulder. i lean myself and only closed my eyes after i saw sunwoo closing his, i get closer and closer until our lips locked. our kiss is small at first, slow and soft as if we were afraid of hurting each other but soon it grew bigger and full of desire. it was like my kiss had woken him up, his hands are now everywhere; first holding my cheeks then running down my arms until he got them on my waist, pulling me closer as if it is even possible. my own hands flew to the back of his head without me even notice and i feel his ones running up and down my spine, then holding me close. 
"i love you, y/n" he mumbles in between our making out session, lowering his kisses down my neck and shoulder.
"i love you too, love you  so much" i let out in a whine, panting under his caresses and this makes him smile. sunwoo stops all the kissing and leans his body backwards for a moment, taking his time to look on my face. good thing is that i can take a good look at his as well. he is gasping through his big and swollen red lips, black hair still a bit humid because i didn't make a good job at drying them, beautiful and swollen eyes that had stopped crying now stare at me with passion, making me feel like i am the prettiest woman on the planet, shirt all messy on his body and i swear this is the most beautiful scene i have seen, the dim lights from the bedside lamp only helping him to look even better.
"please don't you ever leave me again, my love" sunwoo prays in a whisper, one hand going up my cheek and i put mine above it "i don't know what i'll do without you" i lean my head to give his caressing hand a kiss.
"i'm not going anywhere" a smile dances on his lips and then he pulls me closer, making us fall on the bed and laugh together at it, before sunwoo kisses me again.
three months ago when he left, i could feel an emptiness growing inside of me, as if sunwoo had taken a piece of me along with him. but now i can assure that the hollow space i was feeling before sunwoo entered my apartment earlier today, that feeling is gone. kim sunwoo had always been that one source of happiness in my life and i don't know how i had the courage to doubt that nor how i managed to live all this time without him. again, we are like adam and eve. we are not perfect, we make mistakes, we are simply soulmates, born to be together. and i know that from now on i'm going to be fine, we are going to be happy.
107 notes · View notes
werezmastarbucks · 4 years
Text
Whitmore Guy claims his last victim (it’s not Damon)
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(moodboards made yet again by @stfudipz​ who gets me and Mal like no one else)
Whitmore Guy masterlist
word count: 2537
warnings: clinical insanity
music: good things fall apart by illenium, jon bellion and travis barker, afraid to forget by hammock, hope is gone by moby, a part of me by neck deep
this is the last chapter
She woke up to him singing. Her eyes were burning as if she’s been crying and then stopped, and Mr Sandman brought his dry salt and sprinkled some into her eyelids. Her head leaned against the door, vibrating with the friction of the wheels with the road. Sunrise was on. From the east, long coral pattern of light fog was stretching, lighting the sky. The air must smell like dew and tears, but there’s the sun behind the low roofs in the straight streets of Lavonia. She wondered how Kai (the name was strange; she had to remind herself it’s Kai, not Mal) hasn’t woken her up earlier, with the music blasting so loud, and with his unapologetic singing. He did have the sense of rhythm, but didn’t use it too often. He mainly preferred to squeal like tires.
“I know I can be dramatic, but everybody said we had it”, his head snapped to her, as he saw her move, “hmmm, hmmm. You’re up? What did you see?”
“Them two killing Atticus Shane”, she whispered. Kai’s vampire ears caught the sound. She could now explain a lot of things. Now that she knew. She looked at him. Her head was heavy, as if she’d banged it several times. Although she’s apparently been out for no less than three hours, she didn’t feel rested. It was like a fever that’s just stepped back, and the heavy afterglow was still lingering. Even blinking was hard.
“How did you give me that vision? And what was she doing, giving you magic? How?”
Kai frowned.
“Don’t say ‘she’. It’s you. It was you”.
“I’m sorry, she just felt like another person. I don’t remember her, either. Together with you, it’s like I’m robbed of the memories of myself”.
She looked at the long, thick scar on her hand, crooked like a hook. The cat’s sharp teeth. It was white and bulgy now, several years later.
“That’s what Malivore does. It robs of memories” he shrugged. Then he granted her with a long glance. Rows of houses were flying by outside, as they strode through a housing estate. There were fields ahead. Y/N didn’t want to think about where they were going. At the same time, she wanted to be there.
“But it can’t take away the feelings. I mean, you should record me say it, hehe”, he grinned, “me talking about feelings. Anyway, you kinda feel empty, right? All those times you told Mal… your best friend in the world and your lowkey crush… about you missing something, and that thing about the reverse doorframe syndrome. You were missing me, poor thing. But now it’s over. There’s no spell to reverse the Malivore effect, but thankfully, you and I, we were meant to be together, by nature. So, I will fix that. You know, I can just show you whatever you want”.
“And by nature, you mean that weird thing she… I was doing? The zip?”
“You’re feeling it?”
Kai smiled and took her hand. The light sensation was there again.
“It’s me taking magic from you. You’re a vessel. Ever heard of that?”
“That’s the first time I ever hear this. I think Bonnie would’ve told me if it was a thing?”
The witch vampire shrugged dismissively.
“Vessels are rare. They’re hidden. They’re only meant to feed siphoners. A vampire can’t spot it, especially if the vessel doesn’t know what it is. A witch can only detect it if she knows what she’s looking for. Bonnie could touch you all she wanted, you’re just a human on the outside”.
He bit his lip hard, and looked like he was deeply, fundamentally proud.
“You only work when I’m near you”.
She sat up, stretching her back.
“Is that why you are so obsessed with me?”
Kai shot her a warning gaze.
“And what’s with all the psychotic behavior? You think you can control me? Bae?”
He laughed out.
“Of course not. It’s just… now, unfortunately, I’m the only adult in this relationship. And you know I’m not very good at being an adult. I need to steer you in the right direction, but it takes patience and finesse, and honestly, I feel like I’ve used up all my patience while being that… Mal Osbourne. That’s us”.
He stopped the car where the housing estate ended, and the road took deeper into the countryside. The long line of fields stretched forward on, but on the left, below the whitening sky, there was a mass of trees so dark it mesmerized the sight. The motel Y/N stayed at last year was further on, about two miles down the road. Here, it was quiet and absolutely empty. No birds even.
She couldn’t wait anymore. She left the car, her feet trembling at the sensation of hard, cold asphalt cooled up during the night. The grass was already dry and pricky, ready to die for the winter. Kai slapped the door closed and went around the car.
She was looking at the forest.
“Is that where Malivore is?”
“Uh-huh”.
He was standing at the trunk of the car, looking at her. In the complete silence, she asked herself what he had there. Without another word, he opened the trunk, but she couldn’t see from here. Her heart sunk. It was pounding so hard her eyes went blind for a second. Kai bowed and started pulling something out.
God please let it be my things. Let it be a suitcase with my things.
It was Damon Salvatore.
She realized Mystic Falls was left behind, five hours exactly. And that her phone was still in the pocket of his jacket. It wasn’t a choice of one or two, it was now a complete mess. Her head was still numb with the night vision. She watched herself in the rearview mirror of the car, excited eyes, the mouth that keeps crooking in an entertained smile, the tilt of her head leaning towards Kai. She was completely smitten by him, he had possessed her. She was trapped.
“Up”, Kai threw Damon’s body on the ground and crouched above him, slapping him on the side of his face gently. “I want you to be awake for that. Come on, it wasn’t that much vervain”.
He looked up at her and smiled as if saying, what a weakling! and expecting her to share his scornfulness . She was mute, walking up to them. She knew that was exactly what Kai’s been talking about earlier. The choice.
Damon moved, his face distorted with pain, and opened his eyes slowly. He was weak. Like a wounded animal, he looked at them both, trying to focus, to make his limbs move, but the poison in his blood was too strong.
“Interesting how it took all of you, and a spell, to take me out”, Kai said, venom in his voice, “but it took only one of me to knock down both you and your little brother. I can’t help thinking you’re a bitch ass baby compared to me”.
He looked at Damon with indifference, his eyes opaque, like the vampire was an insect. Before she could say anything, he put his hand into Damon’s pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. He then handed it to her without raising his head. Damon’s eyes shifted on her, and he did what he always did. First of all, he checked up on her.
She took the paper with hard hand, unsure if she even wants to see it.
Listen here, Damon, it’s me. I mean, you. You’re sitting in your car outside the cave in Georgia right now, confused about what you’re doing here. The first thing you do now is, you leave and read this completely and utterly alone. Bon Bon wanted to know, too, because she’s a brave soul, but honestly, he’s not worth it. Don’t tell her.
The lines were jumping in front of her eyes. To take a breath, she looked at Damon whom Kai was trying to get to stand, pulling on his shoulders. Damon was forced to take his hand for support, and was furious about it.
“What is this? Is it a letter to yourself?” she cried.
Damon sniffed like a wolf, his eyes hard silver. He wasn’t sorry.
“I’m not sorry”, he said. Kai clicked his tongue.
Her heart was breaking again, and again, as she looked at Damon. Always, he has been there to cover her, and he’s always had that way about it, the way that expressed that he knew better. That he had it all under control, regardless of what others think. His decisions were always authoritative. He didn’t really care for her, he cared for his version of her wellbeing. She had to comply with what he thought was best.
How was Damon different from a psychopath kidnapping her barefooted then?
“Read it, read it”, Kai waved his hand, “I need to say something to Damon”.
“I’ll be damned”, the vampire growled. Damon was strong. He was a strong, skilled fighter. But apparently, there was something that broke in Kai, like a string that let out this hurricane of power. He seemed untouchable, like the earth itself was giving him strength. As her eyes were sliding down the lines, she realized he’s been to hell, she realized all the things Damon was describing must have made him the ultimate killer, inescapable.
Damon charged at him, his strong hands wrapping around the witch’s throat, but Kai motioned his hand like witches do.
“No touchy, please”, he said shortly. With a sweet whistle, Damon flew through the air and crashed on the field meters away. Kai followed him.
“You know what?” he said, a bit louder.
She walked after them both.
“Kai, please, don’t kill him!”
Damon was getting up. He got up again and again, as Kai put him on the ground effortlessly time after time. One was resilient and refusing to back down. The other had all the power in the world, fueled by anger.
“I almost had it all together, you know”, Kai snapped. He sure didn’t realize who he was yelling at.
“And then this”, he pointed at Damon, “took it all away from me. And I almost felt for you, bastards. You liked Mal so much, what a bunch of losers. I almost forgave you, can you believe it? I was about to call the whole thing off. Then I remembered how we were so happy and normal – a luxury that my girlfriend here”, in the heat of the moment, Kai grabbed her by the neck, and she yelped again, with surprise. He shook her like she was a ferret. “Doesn’t have. What am I supposed to do about her? You know, Damon, you’re the villain here. I was just trying to get it all together”.
“You’re a fucking psycho”, Damon grumbled. There was dry grass in his hair. Y/N fought out of his clutch. “I would chain you up to a mountain in Malivore myself if I had a chance, anything just to keep you away from here”.
“Joke’s on you, idiot”, Kai chanted, “there are no mountains in Malivore. No lakes, no cities, no nothing. There’s just… nothingness. And you. Alone”.
Damon panted, showing his teeth.
“All your family is dead”, Kai said, and the hammering silence fell again. Damon and Y/N froze.
“What?” Salvatore uttered. Kai snickered.
“They’re all dead. Your brother, Elena, the witch, the bossy blonde, the teacher. They’re gone. But you don’t get to join them”.
“Dead?” Damon repeated, like wind flew off his mouth.
“The hunters I brought into Mystic Falls. The FBI guys. They were mine”.
He turned to Y/N and looked at her. He reckoned, at that moment he had the same look that he usually gave Sandy when he didn’t want her to scream. He tried to imagine tearing Y/N’s jaws apart and was upset. She’ll be sore now for a long time. This whole relationship thing is such work.
She was clutching Damon’s letter in her fist so hard her nails were hurting her hand. She didn’t ask why. She knew why. She understood him perfectly, but at that moment, the last pieces of her were stomped away. She realized he took away everything from her, everybody, punishing her, somehow, for forgetting him. There was nothing now: only him and this eternal pink sky stretching in all direction of the cosmos. And nothing else.
She saw in a slow motion as Damon jumped forward, his face a mask of pain. Y/N was rooting then for Damon, knowing perfectly well the bad guy shall have the upper hand. Like in the movie, she felt distant, unpresent. She knew these were the last moment she would see him. She looked at his silhouette in the air, black ink spot on the light morning background. She thought of that time he ripped a heart out of a vampire to save her, and stood with it, scarlet blood dripping from his fist. She was falling into the abyss, slowly, her mind leaving her. As Damon reached Kai, they both disappeared, and she was left alone in the field, and only then she let out a shriek.
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She decided she would kill Kai Parker. One day, when he’s lost caution. When he thinks it’s finally over, and she’s over it. When they live somewhere else, in Ohio, because Ohio is for lovers. When he thinks life is finally good, and everything he’s done is justified, that it’s all for love, she will kill him somehow. Of course, it will take a lot of thinking, because he seems like he has no weak points. But she’ll come up with something.
The sun was now blazing on her cheek with the first rays, rolling up above the field and spreading golden newborn light, brilliant and clear, over everything. She was shredded; like a vegetable, she was now peeled of her layers, and only the animalistic red core was left, all instincts and no reason. She undid her fists and pushed away some garbage laying at her hand.
She watched Kai return from the forest, picking and pulling at the flowers as he went. He rubbed his face like a sleepy child. She stood up, rubbing her knees, and took full lungs of air. She will kill him one day, that is how it will end. She has no choice. But now, she’s incapable of that. All she can do is love him, for now.
Kai approached her, taking her in his arms, and they kissed, morning sunlight sneaking between their lips. The car was waiting for them on the side of the road, warming up slowly.
“Where now?” he asked. His hand was slowly caressing her shoulder, and she shivered with pleasure, snuggling close to him. The air was still a little chilly.
“How about a shoe store? You fucking brute. My feet are cold”.
Kai chuckled. As they reached the car, he turned back as if admiring the sight.
“Babe, what was I doing there?”
She got into a car and tried to close the door but Kai was in the way.
“I don’t know. Taking a leak?”
Kai shrugged. He looked at his left palm, puzzled. Turned it and showed it to her, a smudged word in a black marker.
“Who’s Damon?”
She blinked.
“No idea. Get in! Come on, Kai”.
“You’re driving”, he winked. She puffed and crawled over to the driver’s seat. Kai Parker got into the car with a wide smile on his face and closed the door.
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ironmansuuucks · 4 years
Text
Dewey Dewey Dewey
haii and welcome to my soft dewey finn fic. this is mostly just a wee fluffy drabble that i wrote for myself and wanted to share hehe. this is my first time writing dewey fic so please, feedback is always welcome!! warning though, lil bit of smut at the end! enjoy, lotsa love x 
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p.s this is my fave gif e v e r and always how i imagine dew looking 
Dewey Finn x Reader (smut)
Trudging up those stairs to your apartment felt as though it was never going to end. Every step felt heavy and painful. The fact that you got called into work on a Saturday due to the big case you had been assigned to made you want to vomit. Work? Saturday? Those were two words that should not be put together when you work a Monday to Friday, full time job. Yeah you were grateful for the student graduate traineeship with the most prestigious law firm in the state, not to mention getting put on the most notorious case of the year with the best attorney in the country, but working Saturday’s? That sucked.
As you struggled with the key in the door and pushed it open with your shoulder, all you could think about was your boyfriend, Dewey. Just snuggling up in to his warm embrace, both holding creamy coffees with a movie on in the background, neither of you really paying attention to it but rather just one another. Then being able to crawl under the cold duvet together, warming one another up. Your stress levels almost vanished just at the thought, until you were pulled back to reality when you shouted “Dew?” with no reply, closing the door and looking down to see only one pair of tattered converse sitting next to the door; your own. Moving over to sit your bags on the kitchen counter you tried again “de-“ when you remembered the text message you had opened in that meeting, when you weren’t supposed to, that you had forgotten about: “hey baby, I hope your day isn’t too stressful. Its just to let u know that I’m going to head out to that gig with the guys tonight, shouldn’t be too late, hope your day is quick, love ya x”.
Your whole body felt heavy and achy when you remembered the text. You sighed deeply, whining, and pulled out your phone replying to him: “hey hon, okay have fun – looking forward to seeing you, love you more x”.
The clock read 7:30. The gig would probably last a few hours so half ten/11 was when you could expect him home. Tears welled in your eyes. That was almost four hours you had to mope around until he came home. You rubbed your wet eyes with your cold hands and let out another sigh thinking of ways to pass the time. First, a quick microwave meal for dinner, then a scalding hot bubble bath with a glass of wine and finally some fresh pyjamas, that would consist of one of Dewey’s band t-shirt’s from the laundry he had done earlier.
“Alexa… play planet rock”
 * * * * * *
 The clock now read 10:45. You lathered on moisturiser up your legs to your waist for not wanting your skin to get dry after the bath, with having water that would blow up hell’s thermostat, and so you would feel soft when Dewey finally laid his hands on you. He loved the feeling of your skin after you bathed and moisturised, so soft and smooth, running his hands all over you. You slipped on Dewey’s Led Zeppelin t-shirt that just covered your ass, and a pair of black lingerie panties, it was Saturday night after all. You had boiled the kettle and sorted both your cups for a creamy coffee when he got back and you stood in the kitchen waiting for him to arrive so you could pour them.
You clicked on your phone. Just after 11. Maybe it’s run over time. You huffed and went and sat on the couch, pressing on the tv. Waiting here for him would be alright. You could still see the door from where you were sitting. You glanced over at the TV which was playing one of yours and Dewey’s favourite movies; Tropic Thunder. You just couldn’t wait for him to get home and cuddle him, a long loving kiss planted on your lips. You could almost feel his hands running up your waist, soothing you with every movement, stress leaving your body. Oh hurry up Dew.
Distracted by Tropic Thunder playing on the tv, you had no idea how long you had sat on the couch, your eyes painfully tired. Yawning, you got up to get your phone to check the time. It must only be around 11:30 you thought. Rubbing your eyes and walking over to the counter you picked up your phone. The clock read 00:11. Were you really sat watching the movie for that long? Where the hell was Dewey? You had no text messages from him, no missed calls, what the hell. No gig you had ever been to ran over 10:30, 11 at the latest. Wondering if maybe he had put up stories you went to snapchat. Dewey had a story up but last added to it at 10:15 which was of the concert. The next story you clicked on was his friend Louie’s, and this is where you got your answer. A few videos of the concert, then of Dewey making fun of himself in the middle of the street, attempting to jump over a bollard but failing and falling at 11:16, then of Dewey doing three shots in a row with another one of his pals at 00:02 in a bar, and then finally one of Dewey singing his heart out to Come on Eileen at 00:10. Upon closing down Louie’s story you got a snapchat from Dewey; a video of him singing Come on Eileen to you through his phone with Ned appearing a few times at the side singing with him. The bar was heaving and very dark with strobe lights illuminating Dewey’s tipsy looking face. You couldn’t stop the tears that ran down your face even though you were smiling at Dewey’s video. You just wanted him home. You were glad he was out having a good night with his friends, but you selfishly wanted him to come home and spend the night with you.
You huffed and wiped your eyes, locking your phone and not replying to his video. You were annoyed now. You knew you had no right because he was just out having a good night, but he could have text you and let you know what he was doing, but you knew you were just feeling sorry for yourself really. The apartment was cold and you got a shiver as you headed into your bedroom when you got another snapchat from him. You huffed again knowing he was having a great night and you were sat here waiting for him to come home. This time it was a video of himself singing your favourite song Don’t Stop Believing then at the end he pulled the phone closer to him and shouted “I love you” over the painfully loud music. He stared at the screen for a second, doe-eyed and glazed over with a little smirk on his face. You knew he was thinking about you. Then he looked up and was about to start talking to someone when the video cut off.
This again put you in a bad mood and tears kept coming down your face. You were just tired, and you weren’t really annoyed at him; you just missed him.
Pulling the cold covers over your worn out body, you just decided to go to sleep. It might take hours for him to come home, and sometimes they would have afters at one of his friends houses, and if that was the case you probably wouldn’t see him until mid-day Sunday. Now that thought put you in an even worse mood so you did not dwell on that one. Closing your red, sore eyes and burying yourself in the covers left you sleeping within a few seconds. The long day left you exhausted and it was late after all. You would see him soon.
 * * * * * *
  Stumbling through the door at 3:45 am, Dewey kicked off his tattered converse at the door next to yours. Trying to be quiet as he knew you had had a stressful day, he gently closed the door then went to get a glass of water. Everything felt loud and clumsy in his tipsy haze. He necked the water down in one before seeing the two coffee cups on the counter waiting for some attention. Dewey felt soft at the sight and couldn’t wait to have a lazy Sunday morning with his girlfriend, drinking unlimited amounts of the sweet, sugary, caffeinated beverage.
He swayed his way into the bedroom, some 80’s rock song leaving his lips in whispers, while his ears still had a faint ring in them from the events of the night. He saw your sleeping posture on the bed and the singing came to a halt as he made an “oh shit” face for being too loud, even though you were still sleeping, as he made his way to the EnSite bathroom.
Changing into a pair of star wars pyjama bottoms and a different ACDC t-shirt he popped his toothbrush in his mouth but knocked over the brush that was on the bathroom counter. “Fuck” he mouthed as he picked it up then bent backwards to look out the bathroom to make sure you were still asleep, which you were. He sighed with relief, brushed his teeth then went to lie next to you in bed.
Dewey could already smell your moisturiser when he pulled the cover over him and began to scoot over to you. You were facing the other direction to him, but when he moved closer to you and then put his hands up your t-shirt smoothing over your waist you stirred slightly and turned round to face him, still asleep. He could only just make out your features from the street light seeping into the room and you looked so beautiful. Again he glided his hand up and down your waist, basking in how soft and warm your skin was. His hands then smoothed down to the band of your lingerie and he suddenly felt warm. Moving his hand down further to lightly grab your ass, he didn’t want to wake you up but you just felt so good and the smell of your shampoo was really getting to him, drowning him. You moaned slightly in your sleep when you felt him on your ass, which only bothered him even more. He squirmed slightly, beginning to feel uncomfortable in the stillness of the atmosphere.
“Hey.. hey y/n” he whispered, one hand holding you just above your ass at the small of your back and the other stroking your hair. You stirred again and moved even closer to him intertwining your leg with his. “y/n” he slightly sang then very lightly kissed you on your soft, creamy lips. Your eyes slowly began to open and the first thing you noticed was the strong smell of drink. Then you realised; Dewey.
You allowed him to kiss you, still in a bit of a bad mood “what time do you call this Finn?” you said very sleepily closing your eyes again, your face showing no emotion or movement. Dewey slowly moved his leg between yours parting them and pushing up lightly, causing a lot of friction. Suddenly you felt a heat rise in you, and held in a little moan that almost escaped your lips at the movement. Dewey moved to kiss down your jaw and neck, pushing his leg a little bit more along you, hands gliding up to your waist “what do you mean?”. You moved your neck up slightly, allowing him access, and ever so lightly dragged your nails up his back heading towards his hair, “you’ve been gone for hours, I was expecting you around half ten after the gig?”. Your fingers were now at the nape of his neck and beginning to intertwine with his hair. Dewey sucked on your lower neck, for sure leaving a sweet little mark “I knew you would have had a stressful day-“ he began moving back up towards your jaw as his hand crept further up your ribs, nearing your chest when you ever so slightly moaned. He continued “so I decided to go out with the guys after and let you have a chilled night in yourself to destress, not have me kicking about annoying you”. Any of that selfish little anger you held towards him dropped after he spoke those words. He wanted you to be alone for the night because he thought it would help you. Your body rolled towards him then, arching your back so you were almost up against him. “and then I come home, and find you here, looking as though I could drink you up, with those-“ he moved his hand to snap the band of your lingerie panties against your skin “on, which you know drive me wild” he said with a long sigh afterwards. Dewey lifted his head, eyes looking at you lustfully. You slowly batted your eyes a few times, looked down at his lips then back up at him. How did you get so lucky?
“Yeah? Well unfortunately your little plan didn’t work. I’m still pretty stressed out” you teased, moving to kiss him. “Yeah?” he said smirking into the kiss. “Yeah” you replied breathily as his one of his hands moved down to your hips and the other fondled your nipple under the Led Zeppelin t-shirt. “well I cant have that now can I?” Dewey’s hand moved further down your leg and lightly pushed them apart “I cant have my best girl being left all stressed out” his finger teased you. Lightly gliding over your wet panties as you moaned into his neck. Dewey slid down lightly and lifted you’re t-shirt up, swirling his tongue around your nipple “let’s see if we can relieve some of that stress, huh baby”. You breathed in heavily as you felt him move your panties to the side and slip a finger into you as you laced your fingers in his hair with a light moan. After a few moments Dewey added another finger, slowly pushing in and out of you “ugh, deeper Dew” you moaned out. As if on command Dewey pushed further up into you, hitting that spot that sent you wild. The combination of Dewey’s rough, calloused fingers pumping in and out of you and his smooth, skilful tongue meant you weren’t going to last very long. You were stressed, and needed release so you were going to take it whether it took 2 minutes or two hours without a care, and within a few minutes you were a moaning mess, breathlessly moaning his name. “that’s it baby, you’re doing so good” he would push you on. Rolling your hips ever so slightly made Dewey hit a spot he never had which pushed you over the edge “ah fuck Dew-“. He could feel you beginning to clench around him so he pushed further, keeping a hold of that spot “that’s it baby, cum for me”, and boy did you.
After your release you felt as though the moment you closed your eyes you would fall asleep. He was right, you were stressed and that’s exactly what you had needed to finally relax. Dewey came back up to you and you kissed him “thank you so much”, you said through lidded eyes. “I love you” he said as he kissed you back, pulling your t-shirt back down for you, and smoothing it over with his hand. “I love you too” you said sleepily. You reached down to begin to palm him through the fabric of his bottoms to which Dewey moaned into. After a few rubs you moved your hand to the waistband of his pyjama bottoms but he stopped you, and pulled away from the kiss. “No baby, you’re too tired – I just wanted to make sure you were okay”, you slightly argued back trying to move your hand down again “no come on, I want to”. Your eyes were closed as you went to kiss him again sleepily but he stopped you and intertwined his fingers with yours to stop you, “no, come on y/n. You’re too tired and I want you to get a decent night sleep so you’re not as stressed tomorrow”. You were going to protest but he was right. You sighed, and then he kissed you. One of those slow, meaningful, love filled kisses and you fell asleep once he parted from you.
Dewey held you close to him, hoping he had managed to make you feel better. He hated to see you all stressed out like this but he was so so so proud of you. He was your biggest fan and he wanted to be the one you came home to when you needed someone to talk to, and to hold you, make you feel safe.
He kissed your forehead lightly then drifted off to sleep with his girl safe in his arms, stress free.
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namsjunies · 5 years
Text
infatuated // jjk
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anon requested: can you write a nsfw blurb of nerd virgin jk losing his virginity to his female crush who’s like popular and he thinks is super hot lmao?
pairing: jungkook/female reader
word count: 3,059
tags: loss of virginity, handjob, face sitting, safe, penetrative sex
this goes way beyond being a blurb but i hope that makes it worth the time it took me to write it. please enjoy <3 also this is unedited so please excuse any typos hehe
Jungkook doesn’t know what it is about you that made you so appealing to him, aside from the obvious: your appearance. He’d spoken to you in passing, more in a group conversational context than one on one and he’d heard you speak in a single class he’d miraculously shared with you during his third semester. You’re nice and smart as far as he can tell, but you hang around in the same circles as Taehyung and Jimin who are whispered about all over campus, as vast as it is, because of their looks and their charming personalities. 
Jungkook doesn’t get around much in terms of parties and clubbing, he promised himself he’d be diligent with his studies even if it meant sacrificing a lot of what people claim shapes a college experience. But Jungkook thinks much of what shapes a college experience is actually graduating over flunking out. It’s not that he doesn’t do anything at all, but he has priorities and he’s not going to sacrifice his ambition for the consequences of questionable actions.
Yet somehow, Jungkook becomes close to Taehyung after taking a number of classes with him over several semesters and suddenly he’s navigating through social circles he’s not quite sure he fits in well with. But, it brings him closer to you, who he’d been slowly developing what feels like a high school crush for the more he sees of you and the more he hears of you from his new friends. They talk about you so casually, and Jungkook just finds himself wishing he knew you like that.
Jungkook thinks Taehyung is trying to take him under his wing, help Jungkook become more open and social while still allowing him to maintain his focus on what he considers the most important. So it’s only after midterms end that Taehyung invites Jungkook to a big party rather than the more casual settings they usually hang out in. Jungkook is apprehensive at first, he’s not so sure about being somewhere unfamiliar around so many people he doesn’t know, but he receives reassurance from Taehyung that there will be plenty of people who Jungkook considers friends (and hearing that you will be there is enough reason already).
So maybe Jungkook puts even more pressure on himself to look nice for the party in an effort to impress you. He pushes his hair back away from his face to expose his forehead rather than settling for his normal look, and dresses himself in a blue satin button up and some black jeans. He feels like he might be just slightly too formal for a college party, but he’d rather look good than be underdressed. But upon arriving, he doesn’t feel bad, because Taehyung is dressed in his normal semi-formal attire--loose slacks and a dress shirt--and he offers Jungkook a grin and a clap on the back of his shoulder when he catches sight of him.
“Jimin and Hoseok are on the couch, I’ll get you a drink and then head over there,” Taehyung tells him before nudging him in the right direction.
Jungkook makes his way through a number of people hovering around drinking and talking and swaying in beat with the music permeating through the house before he spots his friends and the only place that he’s able to take a seat is on the armrest next to Jimin. Jimin then just offers him a warm smile. “I’m glad you made it, JK. Tonight will be fun.”
Jungkook is happy to be around his friends, and when Taehyung comes back and presses a cold beer bottle into Jungkook’s hand, their conversation carries on for a while pleasantly. Jungkook loosens up slowly, between all the talking and the music he’s vaguely familiar with and the alcohol. But despite how content he feels, he can’t help but wonder where you are after Taehyung had emphasized quite clearly that you would be around that night. Jungkook is sure that you’re surrounded by other friends in some other part of the house that he has yet to explore, but as soon as the thought enters his mind, he catches sight of you across the living room by the staircase. You keep getting caught up in brief conversations, but you’re clearly making your over to Jungkook (and the rest of your friends too, he supposes). He wonders if tonight he’ll finally be able to grab and maintain your attention. Sometimes, the way you would look at him and talk to him, so attentively with your eyes wide and sparkling welcomingly, he would feel so special and his cheeks would heat up under your gaze and he’d struggle to continue a conversation. All a part of having a crush, but it didn’t make Jungkook feel any better about making a fool of himself in front of you. He likes to think that he’d gotten more comfortable around you since Taehyung befriended him, but that thought could just be Jungkook’s own wishful thinking.
Eventually, after minutes of stealing glances over to you to measure your distance away, you’re finally standing in front of him. Jungkook’s anxiety tells him that you’re scrutinizing him, but you’ve only glanced at him for a second and then you’re smiling as you compliment him.
“Jungkook, I’m so happy to see you. I was hoping you would make it. I feel like I never see you outside of campus, I’ve been waiting for the chance to really talk to you.”
Your words alone are enough to make Jungkook’s heart drop into the pit of his stomach, but in accompaniment with your tempting tone, he feels like he might pass out altogether. His hand squeezes tight around his half empty bottle and he smiles uncomfortably wide.
“Yeah, I wouldn’t miss this. I’ve been putting off Taehyung’s invitations long enough. Plus, getting to see you makes this all the more worth it.”
Jungkook himself is amazed by how easily the words leave his mouth, and he feels somewhat triumphant when you smirk at him and tilt your head in response. A second later, Jimin is offering you his seat on the couch and as you sit, you drape your hand casually over Jungkook’s thigh as you peer up at him expectantly.
You’d always found Jungkook attractive, more than you care to admit to yourself. His eyes are always bright, glimmering with kindness, and of all the times you’d spoken to him briefly, you’d never once found him boring and honestly you ended up wishing that you saw him more often. But it’s also easy to catch on to the way he blushes and smiles shyly around you, even if now he sounds so confident.
You’re pleased with the way the night continues, being able to really talk to Jungkook for longer and learn more about him, with brief interruptions from Jimin vying for attention when Taehyung walks away every once in a while. But as time passes, you become more distracted by the way his pink  lips part when he speaks or licks his lips, or how his arm flexes as he stretches or adjusts his grip on the empty bottle she’s pretty sure he’s keeping as a form of decoration. Your hand is still braced on his thigh almost possessively, and every time you move it up so much as a centimeter, there’s a new wave of blush blooming over Jungkook’s round cheeks. But you’re getting impatient, and you’re confident enough in his feelings for you that it gives you the courage to ask, “Do you want to go home with me?”
Jungkook sighs in what sounds like relief and nods, “Yes.”
The next 20 minutes pass in a blur with you reassuring him that yes, you like him a lot and you know he likes you too during the Uber ride to your apartment and as you’re unlocking the front door you ask if he’s sure to which he answers you with an urgent kiss as soon you’ve shut the door behind the both of you.
“The only thing is,” he breathes out as you’re pushing him down on your bed, and you pause then, wait for him to finish speaking before you even attempt another move on him. “I don’t really have, um, any experience,” he stammers, and all in the next breath he continues, “Is that a deal breaker? Is that something I should’ve mentioned earlier? I’m sorry I just really like you and, and I was hoping that it wouldn’t matter anyways-” he’s cut off when you lean down to kiss him again briefly.
“Jungkook, that doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you’re comfortable, okay? Let me know if you start feeling uncomfortable or something, I want this to be good for you,” you mumble with another soft kiss against his jaw.
You kiss him for a few minutes, it turns wet and sloppy quickly but the way that he breathes out a quiet moan against your lips just encourages you and you pull away only to start down the length of his throat. The loose fit of his shirt allows you to slide your hands underneath his shirt, feeling up the smooth expanse of his taut stomach until you reach his nipples. Your teasing draws out a whimper from him and you pull back to look at him as he blinks up at you shyly, eyes wider and darker than normal. “‘M sensitive,” he mumbles before you kiss him again hard.
“Cutie,” you giggle to yourself. “I wanna play with you a little bit more. Do you think you can undress yourself?”
After you receive a nod from him, you get off of him and stand so you can slip out of your own clothes, and once you’re left in your underwear, his awed expression is enough to make you shy as well. So you recover your confidence by gesturing for him to lie back again.
“Y’know, I don’t do this a lot either. But, I’m more than happy to be with you,” you tell him as you straddle his thighs, enough space in front of you to be able to slide your hand into his underwear and pull his cock out, already fully hard with the slightest touch of precum beading at the tip.
“Fuck,” he hisses softly as you swipe your thumb over the head of his cock to drag his precum down the length before you wrap your hand around the base.
“Already so hard and I’ve hardly even touched you. With how responsive you are, it’ll be so easy to learn everything you like,” you coo lovingly as he flushes with embarrassment and throws his head to the side.
You pull your hand away from him, still not satisfied with how wet he is and you don’t want the friction to hurt him, so you get off of him one last time to lean over to your nightstand and pull out a bottle of lube.
You’re on top of him again before he’s able to process that you’d gone at all, stripping him completely of his underwear before drizzling a surplus of lube over his cock before you’re taking him into your hand again and stroking him slowly, coaxing a reluctant moan from his throat.
“Such a nice cock, Jungkookie. Dripping and waiting for me. I’m going to make this so worth it for you.”
Jungkook doesn’t know what he did in his previous life to deserve having you on top of him, gazing down at him so lustfully and touching him in ways that he didn’t even know could feel good. He’s not sure if he’ll ever stop blushing again, but his embarrassment escapes him immediately, the same as the whine he lets out, as you squeeze your hand around him briefly before you keep sliding your hand up and down his cock.
He keens as you continue to touch him, and you’re mesmerized by his glistening eyes and his slick lips as he peers up at you. Minutes pass with his soft whimpers only increasing in volume as you tease his cock and his nipples, his hips are twitching and stirring eagerly underneath you.
“I’m, I’m close,” he stutters, fingers curling tight in the sheets and he squeezes his eyes shut as if he’s bracing himself, but then you’re pulling your hand away and letting his cock lay twitching and neglected against his stomach. He lets out a whine that almost makes you want to finish him off but you shake your head instead.
“ I can’t let you cum just yet. Don’t worry, I won’t tease you for too much longer,” you whisper with a playful grin blossoming across your lips.
“Can I touch you?” he asks after he’s able to catch his breath and recover from his orgasm that never was.
Your smile only grows wider, fonder, and you nod. You take his hands and guide them up your sides until they reach your breasts and he reacts immediately. He shakes your hands off his wrists and he sits up as he toys with your nipples so he can slot your lips together in another sloppy kiss. He’s satisfied with the noise you make as his left hand closes over one of your nipples and his right hand slides down your torso until he can press it flat over your cunt.
“In my experience, this is not virgin behavior,” you manage to exhale. Your underwear is damp with your arousal and as he pulls your underwear to the side so he can drag his fingertip over your clit, a whimper leaves your lips.
“Fuck, you’re so wet. All for me,” he sighs happily and you struggle to imagine what he’s seen or read that has prepared him for this moment but you’ll just ask him later. He mouths down your throat before he captures one of your nipples in his mouth just as he presses one of his fingers into your entrance. The palm of his hand is pressed deliciously up against your clit as he touches you tentatively, and it’s one of the only times you’ve noticed how unsure of himself he is.
“Jungkook. That’s good, it’s good. Keep going,” you breathe out encouragingly and one of your hands moves up instinctively to grab at his hair. You’re surprised when he pulls his hand away entirely and you’re more than disappointed by the loss until he looks up at you.
“Sit on my face,” he breathes out with a slight chuckle in his tone.
“Oh so you’re really feeling brave,” you tease him. “Are you sure?” you add, to which he just nods eagerly and both of his hands rest on your hips, urging you up again as he lies back.
That’s all the convincing it takes before you’re sitting up. You pull your underwear off completely and a second later you’re hovering over his head with your thighs spread welcomingly and he braces his hands against your thighs, pulling you down until he can press his mouth against you.
You can’t help the moan you express as he licks eagerly into your entrance, whimpering intelligibly about how good you taste, and when his lips close around your clit and he sucks enthusiastically, you feel like you’re about to collapse on top of him.
“Ah, juh, just like that, Kook,” you whimper as your hands tighten in his hair and your thighs shake, threatening to close around his head. His fingers feel like they’re pressing into your hips so hard that they might leave bruises but you can’t bring yourself to care when his mouth alone is making you feel so good.
You pull your hands away from his scalp and you lean forward involuntarily, your hands catching in the sheets to keep holding yourself up the best you can.
“Okay, fuck, okay, Jungkook, Jungkook,” you gasp, reluctantly and weakly lifting yourself off him to straddle his hips once more. “Not that that wasn’t good,” you mumble as you push your hair away from your face, and look down appreciatively at his face, shining with your wetness. He licks his lips contently and sits up again, props himself up on his elbows. “But I want your cock,” you finish.
Jungkook was feeling proud of himself for appearing to be doing so well for his first serious experience, but he supposes that you’re both old enough and you’re doing a well enough job telling him what you like that it doesn’t have to be as messy and terrible as others make it out to be.
It’s definitely not terrible as you sink down on his cock as soon you roll a condom on, and the warmth and tightness of your pussy is enough to take him to the edge of his climax again. “Feels so good,” he whimpers as you steady yourself with your hands on his chest and create a steady rhythm lifting and lowering yourself back down on his cock.
Jungkook’s hands are squeezing your thighs or your hips as you ride him, and he lets out a series of bated breaths and stuttering groans as you fuck him. You grab one of his hands and pull it down to press his fingers against your clit, letting out your own noise of satisfaction as he takes the initiative to press his thumb against the bud and rub it in tight circles.
He can feel his orgasm building up hotly in the pit of his stomach within a few minutes and he tells you this verbally: “I’m close.”
You’re pleased that you’re right behind him when he says this, your tummy tightening pleasantly with all the sensations coming down on you. “I’m, ah, I’m cumming, baby. Cum, Jungkook, you can cum,” you moan out, losing most of your ability to continue fucking yourself down on him.
Jungkook feels overwhelmed as you clench around him, his orgasm coming down on him like a tsunami at the same time, and even when you’re recovering, laying down next to him, his body still feels like it’s pulsing.
But you feel the same, and it takes you a minute to speak.
“How was that?”
Jungkook blinks once or twice as he registers your words and he lets out a content sigh. “I didn’t think it would be like that.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment… Why don’t you stay the night?”
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lveclouds · 4 years
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summary: the moon was a constant presence in your life, and it came in the form of choi youngjae, a gorgeous guy with an equally gorgeous smile, and while your lives were intertwined for a time, he suddenly vanished, leaving you with questions. you felt incomplete without the moon in your life, so when would he come back?
"there's a person i want to sing a love song for, looking at the stars in the night sky." - star 1117 (ateez)
a/n: my got7 drabble that was actually supposed to be posted before the mark one, but i had a sudden burst of inspiration for it, and thus that drabble was written before this oops- anyways, i'm sorry that this was more of an angsty drabble jdkjfjd i didn't plan for it to be that way but it just happened? i guess it was also because i was listening to sad ass music while writing this lmao and yes i have a summary for this too hehe
genre: non idol! au, college/university au (kinda), heavy angst (oops) , some fluff? (its mostly at the beginning) 
word count: 1.6k 
paring: music major youngjae x reader 
your first encounter with youngjae was quite ordinary, to say the least. he showed up late to your music theory class, brown hair messy and windblown, pale cheeks slightly red from the chilly air outside, a small smile on his face. your professor, a middle aged woman with dark hair and a stern expression, seemed to be in better spirits as soon as youngjae walked into the room, the corners of her lips curving into a rare smile. "i'm sorry i'm late, miss, traffic was terrible on the way to campus, and my mom needed help with something, and-" the professor cut him off with a a shake of her head. "no need to apologize, youngjae. just take a seat next to y/n." he nodded, looking a bit shocked that she hadn't scolded him, for your professor was a stickler for being on time, yet she let him off the hook, almost immediately. youngjae practically scrambled to sit in the empty chair next to you, quickly getting out his notebook and a pen, jotting down notes. you hid a smile at how adorable he was, and tried to focus on the lecture. you had seen youngjae around campus a few times, always smiling and cheerful, and you had always wondered if there was more to him, if there was more behind that gorgeous smile of his.
after that day, you had mustered up the courage to talk to him, despite being quite hesitant at first, since you were pretty anti-social and rarely talked to anyone on campus unless you had to. when you approached him after a particularly confusing lecture on the brain, he looked up at you from the book he was reading, gorgeous brown eyes widening in surprise. "h-hi." you said, fidgeting with the hem of your oversized hoodie. "i'm y/n. i've seen you around campus and i've wanted to talk to you, but uh, i guess i was way too shy to initiate a conversation?"
youngjae's face broke out into that gorgeous smile you were so used to seeing, perfect white teeth on display, and your heart nearly melted at the sight. "oh, well, in that case, hi, i'm youngjae. i've also seen you around campus, and i was also nervous to approach you. you're gorgeous and so i wasn't sure if you would want to be seen talking to someone like me."
a light shade of pink settled across his cheekbones, and you fought the urge to smile. "ah, you flatter me, honestly. i'm very much a wallflower, so me initiating a conversation with someone is quite rare." "should i be honored, then?" he teased, eyes twinkling with mirth. you finally allowed yourself a small smile. "i guess so, youngjae." from there, an unlikely friendship started, and over time, it soon blossomed into a relationship that you thought would last, at least, for a while. and, it did. the first few months were amazing and you felt as if you were in a fairy tale of sorts, for youngjae treated you like royalty, always going out of his way to sweep you off your feet with romantic and sweet gestures that always touched your heart. you were falling for him, hook, line, and sinker, and you felt as if you were in a dream-like state whenever you were with him.
little did you know that he would leave you, out of the blue, without even saying goodbye. you remembered the day vividly. it was a warm, sunny day in june, and the sky was void of clouds, an endless expanse of blue. it was ironic, to say the least, he had ripped your heart out on such a beautiful summer day. you were waiting for him at your usual meeting spot, which was under an oak tree at the local park, which had been a location for many of your dates, dressed in a white, flowy blouse and cut off denim shorts, along with your favorite pair of black converse, your hair loose and wavy. you had been in a good mood that day, as you had found out that your older sister was getting married, and you were eager to share the news with youngjae. you leaned back against the rough bark of the tree, humming softly to yourself. eventually, thirty minutes passed, and you were starting to get a bit worried. what if something had happened to him on the way? you thought, and immediately scolded yourself for thinking of such a scenario. then, just as you were about to go into panic mode, you saw a familiar figure running towards you. it was yugyeom, one of youngjae's closest friends, dressed in a light cream sweater, blond hair slightly messy and unruly, a tense expression on his face. "yugyeom? what are you doing here?" you asked, allowing him to catch his breath.  "it's youngjae hyung." "what about him? has something happened?" yugyeom grimaced. "uh, well, i don't think he's going to be able to come to your date today." "oh, well, is everything ok?" "i-i don't know. i went to his house earlier to pick up coco, because he wanted me to watch her, and he wasn't there. his car wasn't in the driveway, so i figured he had already left to meet you. but, when i went to unlock the door, it wasn't locked at all, which is weird, because youngjae hyung always locks the door before he leaves, and when i went into his house, most of his belongings were gone, including coco. everything was gone. it was like he vanished, out of thin air or something. you felt a surge of anger and sadness wash over you. "what? so he just left? without saying goodbye?" yugyeom laughed nervously. "uhm yes?" you took a deep breath, holding back tears. "yugyeom, is it ok if i stay at your place for a while? i don't think i can go home, not after this." "of course, we can drop by and get your stuff if you want." you nodded, forcing yourself to give him a smile. "yes, thank you. and i'm sorry for practically inviting myself over, i just-" yugyeom shook his head. "it's ok y/n. i would do the same if i were you. i wouldn't want to be by myself." you smiled gratefully at him before following him to his car, heart heavy.
that night, you had cried your eyes out, and yugyeom and his best friend, bambam, had pulled you into a hug, rubbing comforting circles on your back as you sobbed. you couldn't believe that youngjae, the one guy you thought you could trust, had up and left, without saying goodbye, nor an explanation. he didn't even leave a note, for gods sake, you thought. months passed, and despite you trying to resent youngjae, you couldn't bring yourself too. he must've had his reasons, you thought. but, how could he leave me without saying anything? and on the day of our anniversary? you had seethed for a while, but eventually got tired of wasting your anger.
and to try and remember him, in a way, every night, you went out on the balcony of the guest room you were staying in, looking up at the obsidian sky, admiring the sparkling stars and the soft glow of the moon, your heart aching. to you, youngjae's presence in your life was like the moon, ever present, glowing, and peaceful. youngjae's smiles resembled that of the sun, and yet he was like the moon, mysterious and beautiful. while he was open with you, he tended to put up a wall around those he didn't know. you were often entranced by him, and when he had serenaded you on your first date, you had felt tears spring to your eyes, as you had felt the emotion and meaning of the sweet and somewhat melancholy lyrics of the song. you sighed as you stared up at the moon, glowing brightly against the dark night sky, illuminating the world in a soft, silver light. while part of you wanted to resent youngjae for leaving you, another part of you still loved him, with all your heart. and so, you would wait for him, no matter how long it took, even if meant waiting years.
a/n: i didn't mean to make it this angsty dfjdjkjfg anyways i hope you all still liked this despite the angst i'm very excited about my upcoming bts drabbles, as one of them is a atla au and another is based off the drama goblin! keep an eye on my wips page, as i will be updating it! thank you to everyone who has supported me and my writing, yall are the best and i do not deserve all of your sweet words and unconditional support 🥺
tagging: @taeramisu​ @yongcherie​ 
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purplesurveys · 4 years
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952
I can see the sunshine in your eyes Survey by xflirtykaosx
What does your Town's name begin with? A.
What number how do you live at? It’s a number between 1-1000.
Are you a seafood fan? Yes. Runs in my veins. If humans are on average 60% water, I’m pretty sure the rest of my 40% is just seafood.
Do you prefer dark, brown or white chocolate? White chocolate doesn’t count as chocolate but it’s still my favorite kind. I find that milk chocolate can sometimes be too irritatingly sweet, and I don’t usually enjoy bitter foods so I don’t do well with dark chocolate either.
Give me a random word in another language. Tell me what it means. I’m pretty sure I’ve filled this out before because I remember answering this exact question...anyway, more Filipino lessons! My laptop is currently sitting on top of a kwaderno, which just means notebook.
Can you cook Thai food? I just can’t cook. But Thai cuisine is something I really want to learn to master.
Do you get easter eggs at easter? Some years. I have relatives who will sometimes hold Easter egg hunt parties, and the older kids’ crew like some of my cousins and I are still allowed to join so that we don’t miss out on the fun, heh.
How long does it roughly take you to do the weekly or bi weekly shopping? My parents usually take an hour. Though back when we were still under an enhanced lockdown and stores kept a strict control of how many people were allowed inside, my dad used to take six hours :( He’d leave around 7 AM to start lining up, but there were always people who arrived way earlier so he usually had to queue for a few hours.
Who taught you the most valuable lesson in life and what was that lesson? I’ve touched on this before but the first death I was directly affected by, my grandfather’s, taught me the world will never slow down for your problems and in the end you’ll have to learn how to simply suck certain things up. I remember having to write an excuse letter to my teacher saying I’ll have to be absent for one day to attend to my grandpa’s wake, and all she did was stamp on it and say my absence would be excused. Didn’t even check up on me. It was in the middle of an exam week and a week before the UPCAT. It was such a jarring experience and toughened me the fuck up overnight.
Which city would you like to visit- Rome, Tunis, London, Madrid or Paris? Tunis just because I feel like it would have the least amount of tourists, and I’m also all about going to less-familiar places. Madrid would be nice too.
Would you rather visit Australia, Germany, Croatia or Jamaica? Croatia.
Have you got perfect vision? Far from. My vision is pretty much useless without my glasses, and I like to tell people that without them I can only make out colors haha. Which is obviously kind of an exaggeration but I’m also not 100% lying when I say it, so. 
What colour bedspread or blanket is on your bed now? It’s a multi-colored geometric design so there’s magenta, pink, lime green, orange, gray, and white, among a few other colors.
What colour is the door to your house? Brown.
Would you prefer a pet rat, mouse, snake, lizard or spider? I’d rather these animals are out in the wild, but if it was a situation where I had to save one I’d pick the snake.
What song(s) do you put on repeat often? I don’t tend to listen to music when I’m sad/depressed so I haven’t any songs on for quite a while now. The last one I discovered and really got into is a song called Lose, by Niki.
How many letters long is your last name? Six.
Can you play the violin? If not, would you like to? I can’t, but yeah it’s one of the instruments I’ve always wanted to learn to.
Can you keep a pokerface and not show your emotions easily? Passively, if that makes sense? I have no problem pretending to be happy or looking unbothered like, over dinner or if I’m with friends. But if someone had suddenly told me something upsetting or harsh to my face, I usually immediately show my hurt or anger or disappointment or displeasure or whatever negative emotion I would instantly feel in that moment. My eyebrows and eyes always give everything away.
Are you a good liar (tell the truth this time)? Maybe not around the people who know me best. I wear my heart on my sleeve with the people I’m most comfortable with.
Are you wearing shoes, just socks or nothing on your feet? Nothing. I might wear socks tonight, we’ll see.
What word or phrase is disgusting in your opinion and you hate hearing it? I hate having to hear or use the word ‘gunk.’ I think of dirty fingernails every time and it just makes me wince.
Do you like the smell of a barbecue or bonfire? It’s alright, but I don’t live for it. It certainly gives a comforting sensation though.
Do you prefer to write etc, ecetera or something else? Etc, and it highkey makes my blood boil whenever I read ect hahaha.
Do you think rainbows are pretty or overrated? I think rainbow prints and/or designs are overrated themselves, but seeing real-life rainbows tend to make me feel happy.
Are your lips chapped? Nope.
Have you ever fallen into a hole or crevice whilst hiking? I don’t think so. I’d be able to remember it if I have.
Ever been quadbiking? Was it any good? Nah but close, I guess? My family once did this thing where we rode on the trunk of a 4x4 while a professional drove through sand dunes in Ilocos. It was a lot of fun but I couldn’t entirely enjoy my time knowing I was in the land of the Marcoses lol
What is different about you than others you hang out with? I have a lot of unpopular opinions when it comes to Filipino food hah, like I hate well-loved dishes like sinigang and bulalo.
Are you more skeptical or gullible? I’m honestly really just both, depending on the context. Like how I’m skeptical when it comes to religion, ghosts, the afterlife, etc, but I’m equally gullible in a way that I’m terrible at recognizing sarcasm sometimes.
How often do you drink sodas or fizzy drinks? Once a year and it’s always simply to try it out and see if I’ve changed my opinion about it. I have not been converted in the last 22 years.
How many cups of tea or coffee do you have a day? Just one cup of coffee. I’m scared to have multiple ones haha, I’m scared of the palpitations or long-term effects it might give me.
Has anyone ever called you apathetic or unemotional? No. I’m the most un-unemotional person I know.
Favourite crisp/chip flavour? Just good ol’ plain. Nothing beats a simple potato flavor with a bit of salt.
Do you put salt and vinegar on your fries? Salt yeah, vinegar no.
What accent is the sexiest? Whatever accent Florence Pugh and Carey Mulligan have; they sound lovely.
Do you currently live in the same country you were born in? Yep.
What's your current mood? A little sad but I’m honestly glad my workplace gave me SO MUCH work to do over the weekend because it can keep my busy tonight. 
Do you struggle to articulate your thoughts and feelings? Not really. I like describing my emotions and sharing my thought processes.
A romantic meal, a trip to a theme park or go to a concert? Probs the romantic meal. I like the atmosphere and it’s always nice to have food involved hehe
Prefer being in control in a team enviroment, helping out or taking orders? I like being a mix of all these. I never want to be 100% a leader giving orders or 100% a subordinate waiting for tasks.
Do you like carrot cake? Not really.
Don't you hate it when people say 'I don't mean to be rude but...'? Especially considering 98% of the time they ARE trying to be rude? It will always depend on how they say what follows. Like how it will always be irritating to hear “I don’t mean to be rude but your work sucks,” but I can stomach it better and even be motivated to do better if it was said as “I don’t mean to be rude but there are areas you can tweak more to make the work better.”
Would you say yes from a drink of a friend of a friend? Only if I already know them well enough. Otherwise, no.
How good is your memory? Pretty sharp, a little too sharp for my liking. I’m able to store too many memories, some of them I don’t even want to remember anymore.
On a scale of 1-10 how was this survey? Did you enjoy it? 10! It was a delight to answer.
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for-his-dream-xciii · 5 years
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New Happiness (F)
Pairing: sf9 chani x reader.
Genre: fluff, one shot.
Warnings: none.
Word count: 3k.
A/N: Hello there, if anyone is reading this, I hope you can enjoy this story a lot. This is my first time writing a thing like this so, I’m sorry for all my mistakes. Also, english is not my first language so again sorry, hehe. I noticed that there aren’t many sf9 scenarios and since I craved for a chani scenario a lot because he’s my baby, I got inspired by a dream I had so I wrote this, also adding more elements to make it more interesting. Fantasies, I love y’all.♡
Also a big thank you to Guille who helped me a lot with this and for being the only one who is always there for me when I cry about chani.~
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As you were arriving to the venue you still couldn’t believe how your sister had managed to convince your mother into letting her go to this concert and by all means drag you with her as well. You were trying to concentrate all your energies into the upcoming exams you had to prepare for this semester so, dealing with this stuff right now felt like a waste of time and got a little bit on your nerves. Of course you loved your sister a lot, and you would do anything for her, but right now you were just so stressed that everything in your surroundings felt annoying and you just wanted to get this done so you could get back home as soon as possible.
Spring was around the corner when the news about this indie band that wasn’t even that famous came along. And so, Amelie, your little sister, got interested in them a lot, since she liked the simple vibe their songs had, unlike other girls of her age, her interests were different and very unique. You were certainly quite proud of how well she had grown up through the years, after helping your mother to raise her in any aspect you could. You three were alone in the world, and because of that you were always there to support each other.
The concert date was approaching but you just kept studying and didn’t pay much attention to your sister who was so excited about it. Though, deep down you were happy that she had found a thing or two to distract herself in a healthy way from all the stressful stuff she had going on sometimes.
D-day was here and now Amelie and you were waiting on the line outside the venue with a bunch of people. There weren’t that many but it was enough to fill both floors inside. The queue moved, and you proceeded to pay for the tickets with the code you had already saved online a couple weeks ago, you gave it to the boy who was attending and he handed you over the two tickets with no problems.
Calmly and side hugging your sis, you entered the hall, now the only thing left was for them to open the doors and then the concert would be starting soon. You were sure it wouldn’t be that long, as soon as the sun went completely down they will be done and you will get to finally go home.
You separated from the hug and while walking you decided to check your phone and as you tried to reply to the messages from your best friend who was telling you how she couldn’t decide what she was going to have for dinner you stumbled into someone.
“Oh my- I am so sorry.” you said as your eyes went up to meet a brown haired guy who was also looking apologetically for not paying attention to where he was going either.
You both stayed still for a moment. Breathless for a second that felt like forever.
“Chani? Lucas! Hey, how are you?” Amelie said smiling. Chani and you were still staring at each other. He had the cutest, shiniest brown eyes and the sweetest stare you had ever seen before. But of course, you being you, got overwhelmed at the situation and immediately looked away before you even dare to blush. How did this guy managed to almost get that from you? Yes, he was very good looking but, was it that much of a big deal to almost make you blush? You took a quick glance at him again, from head to toe, his beauty was truly breathtaking and you felt a rush of excitement running through your body. May all at those love-at-first-sight stories be damn, you did not believe in such things. But again, who said love? You were allowed to think a guy looked extremely fine at first sight, right?
Wait, so Amelie knew them?
“Y/N, this is Lucas, he’s one of my classmates.” your sister explained. “And he’s Chani, his older brother.”
You all exchanged some polite “Nice to meet you.” and then proceeded to keep walking to the doors, where a certain amount of people were already gathering.
After saying your goodbyes, Lucas and Chani kept walking forward, you and your sister stayed still, close to one of the doors.
“So… I guess you aren’t that close to Lucas. I thought you two would maybe want to go inside together.” you stated while watching Amelie’s reaction, she looked unbothered. “It’s better when you have nice people to share this kinda stuff with, you know.” You were hoping not to sound too lonely, but Amelie looked up at you.
“It’s okay dude, we are here together.” And that’s how she cut off the subject and y'all finally got inside the venue a few minutes later.
While going inside many people went to the second floor and many people chose to stay in the first one. The truth was, each floor had a nice view of the scenario so it was really up to the personal preferences of each person to choose where you were going to stay during the whole presentation. Amelie wanted to stay in the first one so you went further to get close to the stage, even though a lot of people were already stuck right beside it.
As you waited, a few songs of the band were softly playing as background music so you were hoping to recognize some songs later on when they will came out and do them live.
While you were enjoying one particular song, you had this weird feeling that a gaze was on you, so you started to look around and yet everybody seemed to be minding their own business jamming to the songs or talking to each other, it wasn’t until you started to scan the second floor when your eyes met Chani’s for the second time that evening. The moment it happened he played it cool, looking away while keeping a straight face. In fact, when you had just met him a few minutes ago, he was also holding this serious, yet not rude expression. It only made you more curious about him.
You turned to look at the stage again, trying to not think about Chani anymore, and kept humming to a song Amelie made sure to get it stuck in your subconscious before today.
As the background music died, the band members started to come out and all the people cheered for them warmly. The concert was going great, many of the songs were slow jams but it was a very enjoyable atmosphere. At some point you grow weak and looked up to check on Chani, he seemed to be enjoying this even more than Lucas. You really started to regret the fact that he and Amelie weren’t close enough to stick together earlier.
But then you got an idea.
“Hey… wanna go to the second floor?” you asked, trying not to look straight at Amelie’s face, she would read through you right away and you weren’t sure if you could give her a proper explanation to your sudden request.
“Why? We are fine here, besides I’m sure there’s only a few more songs left. What if we don’t get a comfortable spot? We are okay here.” she said without looking at you. She was right, the concert was probably gonna end soon because you could tell the sun was starting to go down, just as you predicted. The concert will be done as soon as the sun gets fully hidden.
“You’re right, but still... we should go up. Don’t you think it would be great if we can see the two perspectives of the show? I mean, we are lucky enough to be here. We should enjoy it as much as we can.” And from where the hell did all of that came? You were taken aback yourself at how smooth you sounded.
For a moment, Amelie stood unbothered, but then she looked up at you.
“Alright then, let’s go.” YES. YES. Wait, why am I so excited? Please, be chill.
You both quickly took the stairs so you wouldn’t miss many parts of the show taking too much time going up. As soon as you started moving through the people who were on this floor you regretted coming here. What were you thinking? It’s not like you could just go wherever Lucas and Chani were and act like y'all were friends or something.
You spotted them leaning on the railing and decided to play it cool so you would look like you didn’t see them and were casually going around.
But Amelie also spotted them, and right away she looked at you smiling. “Oh… my God.”
“What?” you asked looking at her. She knew you too well. She knew you don’t usually do this kind of stuff just because. You must have a reason.
“You brought me here so we could be closer to Chani? Did you like him? You from all people? The almighty I-don’t-have-time-for-boys Y/N? This is hilarious.”
“Oh please don’t be silly-”
“I thought It was weird when you asked to move, you hate moving around in events like this. Now it makes sense.”
“It’s really not like that Amelie-”
“Hey.” she stopped on her tracks. “For once, let me help you, as much as you always help me. Come on.” She grabbed your hand and started to drag you closer to where to boys were. “Just try to be friendly you know, I mean wait, don’t, don’t try, just be you and see what’s up. I will do my best to get along with Lucas so you two can freely talk.”
“What? Amelie I swear-” but you never got to finish your sentence because you were already behind the boys.
“Hey guys, we meet again.” Amelie let out, both turned around. Chani looked at you gifting you a shy smile. W-was he really smiling at… you? CHILL, REMEMBER TO BE CHILL.
“Hey, are you guys having fun?” you asked, you exchanged looks with Lucas and he felt relieved… Relieved? Relieved of what?
“One of the best shows I ever attended to.” said Lucas now looking at Amelie, she returned a smile to him. “And now that you’re both finally here I shall finally have peac-” he was interrupted by Chani. “I’m sure what my little brother is trying to say is that he’s glad we are not alone anymore, he gets easily tired of me. Don’t you, little demon?” Chani said while ruffling his hair.
“Please, let go of me, talk to her alre-”
“Don’t y'all love this song?” Chani half screamed, you jumped a little bit because of his voice, he had a very low tone while speaking and that half scream took you by surprise.
As if Amelie immediately understood what was going on she turned to Lucas and started to talk about lot of stuff related to the songs, the band and members. You were left wondering why she waited to this day and this moment to finally get close to this boy. Was she really trying her best because she thought you liked Chani and she could help you both to get along if she did the same with Lucas? You truly raised the sweetest girl.
“So… how long has it been since you know this band? I thought they weren’t that popular?” You asked Chani, now all of you moving to lean again into the railing. The sun was still present but it wasn’t hot, unlike many concerts that are during the day, today was a lovely spring day and for some reason your body just felt super relaxed, as if you lungs were getting clearer oxygen, it was a strange but exciting sensation.
“I actually discovered them about a year and a half ago, I think. Ever since I found out about them, both me and Lucas enjoyed many of their songs so, coming today was a must.” He replied, looking at the stage where the vocalist was looking at one of his bandmates and smiling.
You found yourself admiring Chani’s side profile, he seemed to have no bad angles…
“That’s cute.” you laughed. “I actually don’t know many of their songs but I came here for Amelie.”
“I guess I owe Amelie a big one.” he let out on an almost inaudible voice, thinking you wouldn’t be able to catch it, still focused on the stage where the band was starting the last chorus of that song. But you did hear it.
And that’s all it took. You were blushing. As you were just admiring how it was such a beautiful day, now you suddenly felt hot. And even if you didn’t understand why, you liked it. Though, the little tingles in your stomach made you panic. You could be just assuming things, you thought. Don’t.
Brushing off the tingles you decided to also focus on the stage now, where the drummer was explaining how only 3 songs were left.
You were sad, why didn’t you think about coming up here earlier. You hadn’t done much, and you still didn’t know how to face him and tell him you wanted to know more about him.
As you kept struggling searching for the right words to say so you wouldn’t sound too desperate, you heard Lucas and Amelie who now were a little far from Chani and you, but their conversation still was able to reach your ears.
“… I swear, the entire concert Chani hasn’t shut up about your sister, he wanted to convince me to go down on the first floor but I told him It would look creepy, besides, I didn’t want to bother you two, you gave me the impression of wanting to be left alone.” You were one hundred percent sure neither of them knew you were listening, so you kept a straight face and kept looking at the scenario.
“Oh no, don’t worry.” Amelie said. “I also thought It was strange of my sister, wanting to come up here. I guess they shared a thing.” she mischievously laughed. “And please, don’t think about us like that, I’m just not good at making friends I guess and well my sister, yes she looks kinda scary because she doesn’t smile that much, but she is very friendly once you get to know her.”
“Guess Chani just found someone who will understand him-” Lucas started to laugh.
“Also…” Amelie wasn’t finished. “I do like you a lot, you know Christina told me about what you did for her, I thought you were a very nice person. I’m just not too talkative, It’s truly not your fault.”
“Well, you are being talkative now… Thank you, I guess. It’s good to know… I also think you are a very nice person yourself.”
They both kept chatting and your attention went back to the stage when only 2 songs were left.
Chani and you kept exchanging shy looks and he came closer to you, so now his right arm oftenly made contact with your left arm. The tingles again. May them be damn.
“You know…” you finally said, looking directly at Chani’s eyes. As the sun was now directly hitting you both, you now had to close one of your eyes while looking up to him. According to you, you probably looked ridiculous. But for Chani, he felt his heart melt as he found you quite adorable.
The whole concert he kept looking at you. He never saw a girl like you before. You had this cool and serious aura, he felt very attracted to you since your eyes met again inside the venue. He kept having this strange feeling of wanting to get to know you. And since he couldn’t come up with a better idea he started to let it all out with Lucas. He kept asking him about you, and of course Lucas didn’t know much. He told Chani the only things he ever heard Amelie said, about how much time you dedicate to college, that’s why you couldn’t always be there for some of Amelie’s school activities. Unlike Chani, who spent a lot of time helping Lucas with them. So that’s why you two had never met before.
“I think their last song today is gonna be one of my favorites.” you breathed. You felt happy. A brand new kind of happy. You were glowing. So then, you gave him a little smile.
That’s all it took for him. He broke into a wide smile staring at you. He was almost speechless. He wanted nothing more than to get enough luck so you would get interested in him too. Having you by his side felt so right and warm, at that moment he knew he didn’t ever wanted you to go too far away from him, he had a thousand butterflies going crazy in his stomach so after a rush of courage he let out. “So… uh, if you want to, maybe I could give you my number? Is that okay?” His heart was about to jump from that second floor as if going into a suicide mission.
“That sounds great, I shall give you mine too then.” You agreed, you looked away while the last song started. You refused to look at him again, you didn’t want him to notice how flustered you were, you felt so damn lucky as if you had just won the lottery. Gathering all your strength, you managed to get back to your cool stare, while the song was breaking into the chorus you tried to enjoy the last drops of today’s show. Just as you predicted the sunset was here. As the song was reaching the end, by instinct you looked up and locked stares with Chani who was being sunkissed in the most beautiful way you never knew a person could be, smiling at you. While looking straight into his eyes, your heartbeats went faster and appreciating all his features you couldn’t help to wonder if you ever would be able to kiss him like the sun was doing it right now.
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rivetgoth · 5 years
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This is gonna be long, apologies in advance. Just wanted to type something up properly about all of my thoughts now that I'm home and decompressing 🖤
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Last year, I took a late night flight back to LAX on the Monday after Cold Waves VII. My signed VIP poster was the most valuable possession I could possibly imagine, and I was scared of it getting crushed in my luggage, so I brought it as a carry on. I knew that if I listened to ohGr I would start crying, and I didn’t want to cry in the airport, so I waited, clutching my little rolled up poster that Ogre and Paul Barker and the whole ohGr crew had signed. Ogre had drawn a little heart and written “hugZ and much support Artistically.” I had picked a spot in the very back of the plane, because I thought it would be less crowded, and I was right. I had no one else around me, my row was empty aside from myself. I’ll never forget the feeling of looking out the window as the plane took off and I watched Chicago get smaller and smaller and turn to little specks of light in the night, clutching my poster like it was all I had to live for. I put on Sunnypsyop and cried myself to sleep.
There’s so much I want to say about Cold Waves and I don’t even know how to start, so I guess I can start at the beginning. Last year on September 20th I flew to Chicago for the first time in my life and met up with one of my best friends in the world, Trigger (Sylvan), to see Nivek Ogre, my biggest hero, and meet him for a second time (I was meeting both Trigger AND Ogre for a second time, actually). It was a life changing event for me. For starters, seeing Ogre is always life changing. The love and care and passion and kindness that he puts out into the world makes the whole planet a better place and lights up my life in a way that nothing else ever has. He’s the heart of the industrial scene for me, because it was through him that I got into this music and found this community. When I saw him, not only did he remember me from when we had seen each other before a year earlier, but he encouraged me not to give up on my art, telling me that not only was I talented but that he could see the work I put into what I did and could tell I was improving. He told me not to give up and gave me so many hugs and he drew me a puppy to get tattooed. Ogre was currently nursing a recently-broken jaw but he was in the cheeriest highest spirits, he was as warm and loving as ever and so excited about the tour, and he put on one of the best shows I’ve ever seen. His strength and resilience and passion for his art inspired me so much, and getting to see him alongside Trigger and even be able to tell Ogre that we met each other through our shared love of his work made the whole thing even more special. Over the course of the festival I also got to see the rest of the ohGr crew, Paul Barker, and Jared Louche, who were all incredibly sweet and fantastic. Many of them have been people I’ve had the honor to speak with either online or off various times since then and have served such a crucial place in my life as role models and figureheads of a community that means so much to me.
The whole weekend was incredible. Trigger and I made so many memories that I’ll cherish forever. I still laugh over so many little things. The show was amazing. I don’t know if I could ever envision a lineup cooler than Cocksure, Lead Into Gold, Chemlab, and ohGr back to back. So many heroes, so many legends. I was living in the middle of nowhere at the time and had missed a lot of concerts due to being unable to get to them. I was seeing people like Chris Connelly and Paul Barker for the very first time. I thought I would never see Chemlab, and yet there I was seeing them among so many incredible people who I had looked up to for so long. So many people who had changed my life and saved my life. But everyone was amazing, and I not only got to see other legendary incredible bands like Front Line Assembly (CYBERAKTIF!!), I got to discover new bands I relisten to all the damn time like ACTORS. I felt connected with everyone in the audience and I got to meet a ton of cool people who were so friendly and so accepting of me. Jim Marcus got on stage and gave a talk about how Cold Waves and the industrial community at large is like a family and I really believed it and felt it and knew it was true.
The craziest thing about Cold Waves VII, though, was the fact that I literally moved out of my parents’ house and to Los Angeles the very next day. When I landed in LAX in the middle of the night I didn’t go home – I met my parents at a little motel where they had brought all of my stuff, sitting in boxes in the back of their minivan. I had packed it all up before I left for Chicago. The next morning we moved everything into my dorm room and my parents left, and there I was living in Los Angeles, alone, away from my family for the first time in my life, at age nineteen. I had just been accepted to UCLA late that spring and classes started the Thursday after the festival. It was a huge change and a huge new beginning and I was so scared of what was to come. I was scared of being alone and I didn’t know if I’d be able to survive in LA. I didn’t know if I’d belong, if I’d be able to succeed, if I would be able to fit in anywhere. Cold Waves served as the opening to a whole new chapter of my life and I was able to leave the completely magical world of the Metro and fly to a brand new home and start my life with the knowledge that I had been surrounded just a day before by countless people who understood me and supported me and who felt the same love and passion as I did. The following month I got Ogre’s puppy tattooed, and I began going to local goth clubs and concerts and meeting up with various people and making friends nearby. It was a slow process that’s probably ongoing forever, but I feel like it all traces back to Cold Waves as a catalyst for a reminder that I would never be alone.
This year’s Cold Waves was a weekend I’ll hold onto for the rest of my life. With my venture into the Los Angeles goth scene and the world around it I met another one of my closest best friends, Angel, who’s now also my roommate. Funny enough I owe Ogre to our meeting as well, because our first conversation was about her going to see him. This time, she flew to Chicago with me to meet up with Trigger. Being able to add a third person to our little entourage was so fun and cool. I love both Angel and Trigger so so much and it was so cool to see our little group grow bigger and I felt like there was an instant ability to connect through shared jokes and shared passions and shared understandings. On the night that we got there, after a little bit of initial awkwardness just as we figured out what we were doing and settled into a workable dynamic between the three of us (and found food after a day of accidentally starving ourselves in the way one does when traveling), we ended up staying up until five in the morning doing “Chemlab karaoke” in our hotel room until we received a noise complaint (oops). Then we had to get up less than three hours later so we didn’t miss breakfast, and spent the whole first day of the festival running on about two and a half hours of sleep and weird tasting  hotel bananas. It was an amazing bonding experience and that night alone was some of the most fun I can ever remember having, just being able to hang out with two of my best friends and scream the lyrics to music we loved, so excited for what was to come. I was able to prove that I know EVERY lyric to “Jesus Christ Porno Star” before the noise complaint forced us to shut the hell up.
From here, I don’t even know how to start. How do I even begin to talk about the next four nights? For one, everything was perfect in a way that I didn’t know was possible. Absolutely everything went perfectly as planned. Everything worked out. It felt like we had entered a dimension where nothing bad could happen. Quickly discarding our failed attempt at continental breakfast, we got into a daily ritual of waking up, getting ready, loitering at the Starbucks by the Metro for a few hours, and then heading to the venue early enough that we were guaranteed a spot at the front of the theatre every single night (we didn’t do much Chicago sightseeing… we needed to sleep in with how late we were staying up each night, hehe). On the very first night Jared spotted us in line and came over to give us big hugs and say hi!! That was amazing, because we’d been looking forward to hugging Jared all year. And that was one of MANY to come!! We got to be front and center when Curse Mackey came on stage, who we’d been looking forward to since the release of his first solo album earlier this year. The album is completely fantastic as was his performance. Trigger and I had such a blast being able to scream along to every single song. When we yelled out “WE LOVE YOU CURSE MACKEY” he called back “I love you too!”, and he grabbed our hands so many times during the show. And then… fucking CHEMLAB!!!! Easily one of the best shows I’ve ever witnessed. It was so fucking perfect. The absolute chaos of the beach balls, Jared’s grand entrance, Curse’s return to the stage, the music, the paint, the feathers, Jared spitting water at us until we were covered in his spit, and then Adrian Halo, another friend I’ve made in LA who I love, was pulled onto the stage for the finale. And Jared gave Angel the painting he made on stage! I felt like I was going to cry just watching it all. It was so fun, so exciting, so thrilling. I never wanted it to end. After the show we got to meet up with Curse and Jared and they were both so unbelievably nice. It felt like talking to old friends. There was immediate acceptance of us as fans and as people. I can’t thank either of them enough for the kindness they showed. They made me feel like I belonged there and I mattered there and I was apart of something.
…And we WERE apart of something. We got to witness so much greatness. We got to cry in the front of the audience when Severed Heads ended their final song of their final set. We got to experience the raw, primal, intense excitement the moment Paul started blaring classic Ministry tracks from his Min-Dub Soundsystem. Acumen vs 16Volt were so fucking fun and cool and their backing footage at the end absolutely made me cry. Light Asylum was amazing and her return to the stage with Test Dept. (also totally mindblowing and so INDUSTRIAL) was so epic – As was her Leigh Bowery shirt, which was awesome (I love Leigh Bowery!). Every single band stood out and did something interesting, fun, engaging, creative, cool, etc. It felt like I was apart of something real and this community had carved a very real space for itself in the world of music and art. I got to meet in person people who I’ve known online for ages. People I’ve only ever chatted with through Instagram DMs and Facebook comments ran up to me and we immediately hugged and started talking and it was perfectly natural. We clicked immediately because we knew that we were all here for the same things. I got to make new friends while waiting in line or waiting for the show to start in the theatre. It felt like every single day I was making new friends or meeting up with old friends. I finally got to meet Jim Marcus in person and thank them for the times that they’ve been a pivotal role model for me in my life and give them the huge hug they deserve. I have so many memories that I’ll hang onto for the rest of my life.
I worry about being alone a lot in my life. Not necessarily physically alone – If anything, I love a lot of solitude and I’m not always very sociable. I’m definitely more introverted than extroverted typically. But I worry a lot about a more deep-seated loneliness, especially as an artist. I’ve always been drawn to artistic groups in history that functioned as, well, groups. Andy Warhol’s Factory and the New Romantic Blitz Kids have been interests of mine for a long time because I’m so fascinated in the idea of artists being able to form a community and be connected, even when there is a fallout or things don’t always go perfectly. I’ve struggled more than I care to admit with a sensation throughout my life of not belonging or fitting in with anyone anywhere. I’m good enough at putting on a friendly attitude and people tend to like me, it’s not even that I end up a social outcast. It’s internal, an inwards fear that no one will ever be able to understand me and people like me with the same passions as I don’t truly exist. But Cold Waves proves that they do. People “like me” in every type of way really do exist. It was completely amazing to be able to meet so many people, to be able to strike up conversations with just about anyone, to meet up with new friends and old friends and feel connected to so many human beings around me, all from different walks of life, from different parts of the country or even world, with different stories and hopes and dreams, but we all could be connected for that weekend to our shared love of industrial music and our shared love for Jamie Duffy and Chicago and everything that this subculture has built. The musicians themselves accepted us so quickly as apart of their world. We were more than just fans, there was a real exchange of energy and passion between creator and audience happening, a connection between everyone in the Metro.
On the last day of Cold Waves I wore a pig costume, partly because I love PIG and had been looking forward to seeing Raymond live since I saw him tour with Killing Joke the year before, but also partly just because I fucking adore pigs (the animal) and thought it would be fun. It was goofy and I almost didn’t do it because I was worried people would think I was stupid, but I love the idea of dressing up and wearing fun costumes and I wanted Raymond to see! It ended up being the perfect ending to the festival and it tied everything together so well. Everyone loved it. So many people complimented it and took pictures of me or with me. I’ve seen Instagram posts from strangers talking about me, mentioning the “devoted young fan in the pig nose in the front row.” I’ve seen Facebook posts that mention me. It sounds conceited, but it’s not that I care about popularity or attention, honestly – Most of these people will never even know my name. It was just so fun to be able to dress up in a fun way to support music that I love and represent something that means a lot to me and have such a hugely positive reaction, all these people who love it and accept and embrace it. Raymond reaching down to poke my pig nose during the show was the absolute highlight of the night, and one of the big highlights of Cold Waves altogether. I had a stranger come up to me after the show and say, “You know, you were a really important part of the PIG concert!” It totally made my night. I got to meet so many great people that night. I met up with Logan, who’s a total sweetheart and I’m SO glad we had the chance to connect in person after talking online, I also finally talked to another Angel who lives in LA who I had seen around and they were so so so sweet as well. I got to speak to Jim Marcus, as I said before (they’re my dad now), I got to say hi to and hug Paul Barker for the third time, I got to meet Raymond Watts for the first time and tell him about how much I love his work and hug him, I got to chat with all the people I had already met in line and in the front row the past few days for a final time. It felt so connected. I felt so connected to everyone. When Jim gave the talk on stage about our community and how much it matters and how we’re all there for each other, I really started to cry right there at the front of the audience. It’s so true in such a real and profound way that I’ve never felt anywhere else but in the industrial community. I was there hundreds, thousands of miles from my home in California, surrounded by people who were mostly more or less strangers, but I felt so connected to them and so accepted by them and I loved all of them so much and I felt like they loved me.
It’s so sad to leave Cold Waves and be back home. I love LA but there’s nothing like Cold Waves. There’s nothing like being in the Metro surrounded by everyone else like that. I can’t wait to go back. I feel so reinvigorated in my art and my projects, I want to create and I want to bring to life my own passions so that I can share them with others and give back to this community. I wish I had a way to properly thank everyone – All of the unbelievably talented musicians who are all so sweet and so humble and so amazing, all of the people in the audience who chatted with me and befriended me, all of the friends I made there and all of the friends I already had, the security guards, doormen, managers, everyone who helps keep the place together, Darkest Before Dawn, everyone who works tirelessly to put this event together each year. I don’t know where I’d be without it. Thank you so much for the most incredible time, I’m going to try to keep the spirit of Cold Waves alive in my art and creation even now as I settle back into my home. And I can’t wait to be back next year!
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blightfics · 6 years
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THE THIRD WHEEL CHAPTER 1: Color
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Next Chapter: Her Voice
Disclaimer:  This story is based from a lot of animes, such as Your Lie in April and Waiting in the Summer. Also, Pixelberry’s Endless Summer and Naoishi Arakawa’s Your Lie in April will be referenced here, so all rights belong to them.
Author’s Note: If the “Keep reading” doesn’t work, go here for the full post. Since my brother’s drawing monitor is being borrowed by his friend, there won’t be any chapter artworks until some time around March. Italicized narration is told by one of the protagonists, Kyle Collins. And lastly, to pay respects to non-Americans sports fans, I’m going to call it “football”, not “soccer”.
Tags: @princessstellaris, @mechaspirit, @xo-endlessmayhem-xo, @i-miss-trr, @aquamarvel, @mysteli, @choicesyouplayandmore, @skyila, @abhirio,  @brightpinkpeppercorn, @sceptilemasterr, @scgdoeswhat, @endlessly-searching-for-you
Recommended Music: I Wonder what He said about Such Feelings (YLiA)
Cold. Even though winter is almost gone, everything still felt cold. Even before winter came, it still felt cold when this cruel world decided to take something that gave me happiness. What am I to do now? Why am I still here? How shall I end my suffering, without taking my own life?
Voice: Kyle...? KYLE!!
Chestnut eyes open to the sound of a girl’s concerning voice. All they could see is the orange tint of the sky during a sunset. A brunet boy sits up after waking from his snap while rubbing his eyes. A brunette girl is sitting next to him, with an annoyed look, while a blond boy is sitting beside her, with his arm around her shoulder and while sharing the same expression as her.
Girl: Finally!
Kyle: Ugh... what? What do you want, Karen?
Karen: You slept past an important conversation again.
Kyle: What’s so important about my future...?
The girl rolls her eyes and turns to her boyfriend.
Karen: Sam, help me out here...
The blond boy grins and his ocean-blue eyes light up. He reaches to nudge his friend’s arm.
Sam: Come on, Kyle! Tomorrow’s our last quarter in our last year in high school. Aren’t you supposed to be happy?
Kyle stands from the inclined grass plain and walks to the nearby river. He picks up a few rocks and skips them across the river.
Kyle: Why should I be happy? Nothing can every make me happy after.... six months ago...
Sam’s grin quickly falters as he shares the same depressed look as Karen while she clutches her chest.
Yeah, it’s true. Nothing’s been the same for six months. It’s all been black and white to me. My parents passed away during an accident. Accidents; worthless excuses for the world to take something from you so heartlessly. 
Kyle decided to stop and come back to sit with his sister and his friend.
Kyle: ....But you know? To be honest, I am feeling kind of excited for tomorrow.... Kind of...
Smiles return to Karen and Sam. The blond boy lightly punches Kyle on the arm.
Sam: That’s our boy!
Karen: It’s not a lot but it’s good enough. We’re here for you if you need any help.
Kyle smiles and nods.
Kyle: Thanks, guys.
I lied. I just didn’t want them to bring the subject back to my mind. Whatever satisfies them just to make them change the subject into something else other than... that, I’ll do it.
The three best friends stayed by the riverside longer as they watch the sun set between the mountains. Once nighttime arrives, they got up from the grass plain and go to their bikes. They mount their bikes and cycle back to their respective homes, but not before Karen and Sam shared a sweet kiss. Away from their vision, Kyle manages to smile... slightly.
Even though Mom and Dad are gone, I just can’t help but be happy for my sister. She’s found someone who filled in the gap in her life. She’s been more enthusiastic with her stories and films than me with my artworks.
Kyle proceeds to look up and stare at the moon and stars.
When will I find that ‘someone’?
Karen taps his her brother’s shoulder and Kyle looks behind her to see Sam waving at him while cycling away. The brunette cycles past the her brother.
Recommended Music: Can you Forget? (YLiA)
Karen: Last one home gets to wash the dishes!
Kyle: Hey!
Kyle tries to catch up to Karen but was easily defeated when they reached home. Karen celebrates and laughs.
Karen: Haha! I win!
Kyle: No fair! You had a headstart!
Karen proceeds to laugh again as she and Kyle enter the house. They are greeted by a tall brunet, wearing an apron and his hair tied into a ponytail.
Kyle: Hey, Lucas.
Karen: Hi, Big Bro!
Lucas: Ah, good. You’re here just in time. Dinner’s ready.
Lucas. He’s been here ever since he graduated from college last year and heard the news about Mom and Dad. He’s been taking care of me and Karen while serving his job as a freelance IT, providing technological help to any business in need. He’s very good at his job. In fact, my family consists of very talented people. It’s why we get around life so easily when it comes to finance.
Karen skips to the dining room while Kyle walks behind her. The three siblings gather around the table and start having their dinner. Lots of laughs and stories were shared until they finish. Kyle, honoring his part of the deal, washes the dishes but with Lucas’s help. Karen heads upstairs to her bedroom and starts writing another one of her great stories. While washing the dishes, the brothers have a heart-to-heart conversation.
Lucas: So...
Kyle: So... what?
Lucas: Have you found your ‘Sam’ yet?
Kyle: WHAT?!
I know Lucas didn’t mean Sam that way but someone similar to him, someone who can bring me happiness the same way he did to Karen. But still, does my big brother have to bring it up that way?! I looked at him, annoyed while he chuckled.
Lucas: I’m just kidding. I meant have you found your ‘special someone’ yet?
Kyle shakes his head.
Kyle: No...
Lucas kept a smile on his face.
Lucas: I’m pretty sure you’ll find that person soon. After all, spring is coming and most happy beginnings start in spring.
Kyle: Yeah? Happy beginnings? What about endings? Have you seen Your Lie in April?
Lucas: Uhh... well...
Lucas shakes his head and squints his eyes towards his little brother.
Lucas: You know what I mean!
Kyle chuckles and finishes his half of the dishes.
Kyle: I get what you mean. It’s just... isn’t that a bit cliché?
Lucas: It’s better than having nothing at all.
I don’t know why, but Lucas always has more impact towards me with his words than Karen. I feel guilty for lying to her earlier about my fake happiness. She does have an impact on me but...
After the dishes, Lucas pats Kyle on the back before the little brother runs upstairs and knocks on Karen’s door. She opens it up and peeks out.
Karen: Yes?
Kyle: I’m sorry.
Karen: For what?
Kyle: For faking my smile earlier.
Karen: I knew...
Kyle: You did?
Of course, she did. She’s my twin sister. Even though we’re not psychics, she can still tell if I’m lying or not.
Karen: Don’t pretend like you don’t know that I did.
Kyle looks down.
Kyle: I’m really sorry.
Karen fully opens the door and reaches to hug her brother.
Karen: It’s okay. I just don’t want you to end up becoming a talented, yet monotone artist. There’s more to you than that.
Kyle remains silent as he just nods.
Maybe the reason Lucas has more impact on me is because he’s more sympathetic with his approach. Karen always make me smile through hilarious antics yet she can never do it when she shows concern. This has been the first time that she did have an impact on me, and it’s not the last.
Kyle and Karen pull away from their embrace and smiled.
Karen: There we go! An actual smile!
Kyle grins and chuckles.
Kyle: Alright, alright. You win.
Karen ruffles her brother’s hair before going back to her room, laughing.
Karen: Good night, Kyle.
Kyle: Night, Sis.
Karen closes her door and Kyle goes to his room. Meanwhile below the stairs, Lucas is hiding and eavesdropping on their conversation. He smiles before going to his room.
Recommended Music: Tenma & Friends (IEGO)
Morning rises and spring quarter has begun. Kyle, Karen and Lucas get out of their house, all set and ready for school and work, respectively. Lucas gets in his car and drives off, but not before greeting his siblings goodbye.
Lucas: The usual 6 pm! Bye!
Kyle and Karen wave to their big brother before mounting their bikes and making their way to school. They are joined by Sam and soon, the three reach Skylia High School.
Sam: HELLOOOO, SPRING QUARTER!!!
Karen giggles at Sam’s excitement while Kyle just rolls his eyes as they lock their bikes at the bike rack. They eventually split and and go to their respective club rooms; Kyle to the Art Club, Karen to the Stories & Film Club, and Sam to the Gymnasium. The three wave at each other while walking to their respective destinations.
Kyle: I’ll see you back by the end of school!
Karen: Talk soon!
Sam: YEET!
Sam enters the boy’s locker room, changes into his football uniform and puts on his captain’s band. He then enters the gymnasium and gathers his teammates.
Sam: Alright, boys, get in line.
The sophomores, juniors and seniors follow Sam’s orders with no problem, while the freshmen does it so nervously. One particular freshman catches Sam’s attention.
Sam: Hey, you.
The new player stands up straight and trembles.
New Player: Yes?!
Sam chuckles and puts his hand on the new player’s shoulder.
Sam: Hehe. Hey, don’t worry. I’m not the strict type. As captain, I usually attempt to be close to the team’s goalkeepers to have like a second-in-command, since they handle leading the defense line.
New Player: Well... I don’t think I can handle a leadership role yet...
Another goalkeeper, Mark Evans, stands beside Sam and encourages the new player.
Evan: Don’t worry. It takes time but once you have a practical example, you’ll know what to do, especially when the team needs you to be the best you can be.
Sam: Mark is right, you know.
The new goalkeeper looks at his superiors with a smile.
New Player: Thanks, sirs.
Sam: No prob. Say, what’s your name?
New Player: Dannielle Wallace. But you can call me, “Danny”.
Mark offers his hand.
Mark: Welcome to the team, Danny.
The two keepers shake their hands and soon, Sam gets to know the rest of his new teammates. After introductions, they start the freshmen tryouts and when it is Danny’s turn, Sam becomes the forward to test him.
Sam: Ready, Danny?
Danny: Yes, sir!
Sam dashes towards his junior and kicks the ball to the Danny’s right side. The new goalkeeper reacts and leaps to his right, but suddenly, the ball curves to his left; a feint done by Sam. Although Danny ends up surprised, his reflexes composed him. He quickly twists his body to face upwards and kicks the ball to the air. He lands on the ground but quickly stands up and jumps to catch the falling ball. Finally, he turns to Sam with a confident smirk. The captain and Mark walk up to Danny  while slowly clapping.
Mark: Oooh, boy. That has got to be the best tryout I have ever seen!
Sam: Exactly! Danny, congratulations. You’re on the team.
Danny smiles and jumps for joy before shaking the hands of his seniors and thanking them. Sam turns to the rest of the team.
Sam: Alright, tryouts are over. Let’s practice!
Team: YEAH!!
The Skylia Dragons start their practice for the upcoming Spring Football Tournaments.
Meanwhile in the Story & Film club, Karen is continuing her new story that she was working on the previous night when suddenly, the club door bursts open. Karen is startled and glares at her fellow club member, Elizabeth.
Elizabeth: Good news!
Karen: What, Eli?! What’s so good news that you have to scare me half to death?!
Elizabeth quickly bows repeatedly while apologizing. She then stands up straight and shows Karen a poster. It says, “Aryndelle City Spring Film Festival”, and Karen jumps for joy.
Karen: Yes! Eli, you wonderful girl!
Karen pulls Elizabeth into a tight hug while their literature teacher, Mister Alexander Cameron, peeks out from behind the book shelves.
Mr. Cameron: What is it, girls?
Elizabeth turns to her teacher and shows the poster while Karen looks at him with bright eyes and a grin.
Mr. Cameron: Ah, of course! We are definitely taking part in that.
Karen: Yes!
Mr. Cameron: We just need actors and crew. Maybe you can ask Kyle and Sam to join us, Karen.
Karen: Oh, absolutely!
At the mention of Kyle’s name, Elizabeth quickly blushes and hides her face with the poster. Karen doesn’t notice this and quickly goes over to a shelf of books.
Karen: Let’s see, which stories are we going to recreate as a film?
Mr. Cameron:  What about your best work so far?
Elizabeth’s blush quickly fades and she reveals herself under the poster with a smile.
Elizabeth: Yes! We should definitely film Endless Summer!
Karen grins and pulls out a large green book. She then sits by a nearby table and starts writing a screenplay of said book. Elizabeth and Mr. Cameron join her.
Recommended Music: The City I Live in Started to Take Color (YLiA)
Meanwhile at the school’s gates, a redhead girl enters. She is reluctant and anxious yet she still keeps moving. As she walks in the hallways, she spots the school’s trophy booth. In it, she sees a picture of Kyle and Karen holding their respective artwork and book about latter’s story, Endless Summer. The girl’s reluctance and anxiety fades away as she blushes and smiles before quickly running around the halls, presumably looking for something, or someone.
Kyle makes his way towards the art club to meet his mentor and art teacher, Mister Pablo Ross. On his hands, he was playing Legend of Zelda on his Nintendo Switch. Even with his eyes glued to the console, he is still aware of his surroundings and knows where to go.
Gaming has always been a staple to my life. On my 5th birthday, my parents introduced me to the world of gaming when they bought me a Playstation 3. I had lots of fun, playing with Karen and Lucas. When Mom and Dad passed away, I grew more attached to video games because, just like my arts, they’re a reminder of them, the people who loved and raised me. I just can’t seem to move on like my siblings. People keep saying that there’s a ‘special someone’ out there for me, to break me free from this torment. But I keep doubting them... until today...
Suddenly, the same redhead girl from earlier stands in front of Kyle and happily points at him. Her green eyes light up at the sight of him.
Girl: There you are!
Kyle looks at the girl with confusion.
Kyle: Wha... huh...?
The girl then offers her hand for a shake.
Girl: I’m Vivian. And I am in love with your artworks!
Kyle is taken aback by the girl’s sudden introduction and affection towards his own work. He is left speechless with lots of things going on in his mind.
On the Spring of 2018, I met a girl, who instantly confessed to me. And soon after... for a brief moment...
My world slowly started to take color...
--- End of Chapter ---
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writer-and-artist27 · 6 years
Text
Miyako-bachan
The theme for this thing is Egao to Kimi ni, or, when translated, “To the Smiling You,” by Suzuko Mimori. The original version for Washio Sumi is A Hero or the shorter piano version done by YouTuber Hiumann works just fine. Because it’s such a nice song, and I couldn’t resist. -///- Even with the Yuki Yuna franchise being flawed like all heck with the ableism present in its magical girl system, the music and voice acting is still great.
Anywho.
The other song I’m going to mention here is actually My Neighbor Totoro’s Path of the Wind by Joe Hisashi, since Lang and Os both apparently see it as Tomoko’s theme. I’m surprised I totally missed that, but it works with all the classical orchestra cues! Hehe. ^_^
Copyright stuff. I don’t own anyone except Tomoko. Kei and Miyako belongs to @langwrites​ and Otoha to @owlsofstarlight​.
And to Os? This is my first time writing nonverbal cues and the like for Otoha, so feel free to correct me on anything.
Canonically takes place after How to Kill a Slimy Snake Man.
“To-To, you feeling better?”
Kuroha-san again. I was lucky. I really was. I wanted to hug them so much, if not for the fact that we had just finished what could be the biggest Group Hug out of all Group Hugs, and it was all out of thoughts of killing a Resident Snake.
What had the world come to. What had it come to, indeed.
Leo and Josh would probably be proud. I think.
Hisako simply shrugged when I leveled a questioning mental stare in her direction. Ninja world isn’t the best world, dear. Just take what you can get.
…Fair enough.
I wiped at my eyes as much as I could, trying not to sniffle. Crying for the entire day was not on my agenda. “Y-Yeah, better. A bit shaken, but better. You?”
A soft and reassuring dinosaur roar was my answer.
A giggle left my lips. How cute. At this point, I couldn’t think of a time where I would get tired of hearing replies like that. It was better than the ninja silence, so woo! “Of course, Osie. Of course.”
I didn’t have to look up to know Otoha was beaming and Kei was smirking. “‘Osie,’ huh?” Kei said softly, the smirk already seeping into her voice. “That was fast. Though, Tomo?”
“Hm?”
“Don’t you think you’re forgetting something?”
I wiped at my face a bit more with my hands to get rid of any remaining tear trails before trying to keep a level frown in Kei’s direction, because the warm fuzzies had already gone somewhere. “Forgetting what? We just talked about our latest Conspiracy Plot of killing a Creepy Slimy Snake Man, Kei, what else is there for us to do?”
“It’s not really something for us, but more you, Tomo,” Kei said with a small shrug of her shoulders, pointing at the hanging clock behind her with a thumb. “The Snake Man was way too distracting.”
“Um,” I said instead to fill in the silence, and over Otoha’s confused mumbling, I glanced at the clock. The seconds-hand was moving as usual, so what was the problem—
Wait.
Hisako nearly fell out of her chair and onto the library floor. You have training today, don’t you, Tomoko-chan? And it’s…
“It’s…after…1…in the afternoon…” was the slow response leaving my lips, and the hot coals were already flooding my face as butterflies started emerging from unseen chrysali in my stomach. “OH GOD!”
MIYAKO’S GOING TO KILL US!
It didn’t take long for the adrenaline to start coming in, and wearing a skirt was definitely not in this afternoon’s schedule. My cheeks were burning, but I needed to change, like now. Combat skirts were not a thing in Narutoverse, and I was not going to start making it a thing! Even if it was tempting! Mama would kill me first, all for ruining good clothes. “K-Kei, why didn’t you say it sooner?!”
Her only response was a quiet and perplexed, “I meant to say it earlier?” Emphasized with a raised pointer finger.
“THAT DOESN’T HELP!”
“T-To-To?” Otoha yelped. I couldn’t blame them for the reaction, since I ended up jumping to my feet before running over to my closet, narrowly avoiding accidentally kicking them. It took all I had to not slam the door open, instead putting in the least amount of force my emotions could allow while glancing over every single drawer and hanger I had in the area, because skirts could not become a thing in kenjutsu practice. Practice that I forgot about entirely. Frig.   
Aaaand without even being a sensor or looking behind me, my gut already knew that Kuroha-san was totally caught off guard. Aaaaaah, I needed to be better about this shit. Scheduling and sleeping late was one thing for Vy, a new life should’ve meant improvement! But nooooo, emotions had to be something else. Gosh darn it.
I probably could have worded it nicer, but what left my mouth instead was a rushed, “Oh gosh, I’m so sorry, Kuroha-san, think you could look away with Kei while I change? I need to run over to meet Miyako-bachan for afternoon training with Hayate, and I still can’t believe I’m the doofus who got too emotional over an overpowered, useless snake and totally forgot about it in all that shit!” Because my closet was big and I still needed to find a good pair of sweatpants. I couldn’t even help letting out the loud and pitiful, “Baaaaah!”
Otoha’s only response was a yelp caught between a squeak and another dinosaur roar.
“And that’s why I meant to say it sooner if not for the Orochimaru issue…” Kei trailed off. Probably because I unintentionally let out a loud and mortified hiss. Cat-like, too. Aaaaah. Closet, closet, give me glass slippers and then I’d be off, so cooperate!
Tomoko-chan, breathe. Remember to breathe. Cinderella references aren’t going to help you calm down.
Aren’t you terrified too, Hisako? This is Miyako-bachan we’re talking about!
Who, last I checked, has never seen you late until now. And it’s only been… Hisako raised her left hand to count off fingers. Well, an hour, so it shouldn’t be too bad! First time’s for everything!
Welp.
Sure, the advice was nice, but bleh. The smile she was giving me didn’t help anything. It only made the butterflies in my stomach mutate into loud and angry vultures, hungry for my anxious entrails. I was lucky that Miyako-bachan wasn’t as hard on me like some other people, but still. Anxiety did not help anything.
Um, Hisako, it’s still an hour. And it’s MIYAKO-BACHAN.
…Point. Hope she won’t be angry?
In my haste, I ended up grabbing the nearest pair of pants I could find, being baggy blue shorts before pausing. Oooookay, this specific pair wasn’t in my best interest, considering the flecks of dirt covering the pockets from my last Gai-related training session, and considering my nearby…full laundry basket, um. So…
My gaze fell down to my bottom half, my hand tugging at the hem of my shirt. “Er, Kei? Silly question, but is Miyako-bachan okay with skirts? Because I forgot to do laundry.”
There was a pause as a hand made hard contact with a forehead behind me. It was obvious who it was. “Tomo, we have training gi. You could just go as you are right now.” She paused before adding, “Or I could just piggyback you back home?”
Uh. That was nice, but the stomach butterflies could beg to differ. Heavily. I did my best to swivel my head back to meet her questioning stare without rolling my eyes. “If not for the fact that I worry about throwing up over your shoulder, sure! Anyone have a magic cure for motion sickness?”
There was a soft crow caw as a response as a hand flapped in the air. Of course it was Otoha. “To-To, no. That’s not how chronic sickness works.”
“My point exactly, Kuroha-san. My point exactly.” I smoothed out my blouse, dusted off the back of my skirt, and glanced over my closet again before grabbing the nearest pair of clean exercise socks. Why, oh why, did I forget to do laundry today? Oh right. Snake man. Sucked ass. “Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate you two very much,” Kei and Otoha glanced at each other and shared a chuckle at that, “but I don’t want to get bile on you two! I set myself up for this, so I have to reap my mistake! Even if it means facing Miyako-bachan’s wrath!”
Maybe the fist pump was a bit much. Still, it was a good way of getting myself in the spirits to face the future, and once I grabbed a spare hair band for exercise, it was turning back and fully facing them. My best friends. There was one thing left. “So, uh. Well, you two can still follow me?”
Kei grinned widely before getting up from her seat cushion. “I still have to head back and look after Hayate, so that’s a given, Tomo.”
On the other hand, Kuroha-san blinked before letting out what sounded like a combo of her usual happy dinosaur trill and something more nervous. Huh? “I’m coming too!” The remark was said rather loudly too, so I couldn’t help but jump.
…What just happened? Hisako filled in for me.
Kei gave Otoha a confused glance. “Os? You okay?”
“Um. Yeah. Just fine!” Otoha gave us both a thumbs-up when it became obvious we were staring in her direction. It seemed alright, but Hisako’s quirked eyebrow was more than enough to express my concern. After the snake man, I had more than enough of an excuse to be fussy.
Staaaaaare.
“Uh.” Otoha waved their hands in the air vigorously, shaking their head all the while. “To-To, Kei-Kei, really, I’m fine. Promise!”
I closed my eyes, doing my best to not clench my jaw. Teasing and prodding wouldn’t get us anywhere, and the clock was ticking. Way too ominously. Gosh darn it. Miyako-bachan wouldn’t let me hear the end of it at this rate. “Well, the tables are turned now. But time is precious. Talk later, run now?”
Otoha nodded just as Kei snapped her fingers. “Yep. Still up for a piggyback, Tomo?”
Um. The answer was obvious. “Please, Kei. No.”
“It was an idea.”
“Again, no. Let me handle your mom’s anger, please?”
“You sure about this, Tomo?”
My hand was already resting on the doorknob when the question was posed. I took in a breath to steady myself. Running had become easier, considering I wasn’t sweating this time, buuuuuut. “...50% sure.”
Behind my right shoulder, Otoha interrupted with a quiet and vibrating, “Why 50%, To-To?”
Because she’s Izumi Curtis in a yukata and longer hair?
Instead of saying that, I blurted out a high-pitched squeak of, “Because Kei’s mom is a badass swordswoman and a wonderful teacher, but she’s still scary?”
Kei’s stare was already starting to burn holes into the back of my head. I couldn’t tell if it was worry or suspicion or both, considering how her stare was still unreadable sometimes. It almost felt like I could burst into flames alone from her stare. Aaaaah. “Tomo, I can handle Mom for you. You don’t have to worry.”
Sweet idea…buuuut.  
I turned back to shake my head, feeling the familiar heat flood my cheeks, this time of shame. “Kei, I’m an hour late. Even if I had emotional issues,” she gave me a raised eyebrow at this, but I continued, “that doesn’t change the fact that I’m late by more than an hour!” It took almost everything I had to not pace back and forth and keep my grip on the door handle. “I promised Miyako-bachan, and I missed it. I-I’m a bit scared, but I have to deal with it.”
Otoha and Kei’s stares in my head, from what I could see past my bangs anyways, spoke volumes of their disbelief. “To-To…” Another soft dinosaur trill graced my ears as soon as a hand reached over to squeeze my free left one, and I turned my head to meet Kuroha-san’s brown eyes. “It’s okay. Kei-Kei wouldn’t lie. We got your back.”
“Besides, Tomo,” Kei said softly, poking the back of my head with a finger, “Mom’s been fond of you for years. I don’t think she’s going to explode on you.”
“…I hope?”
Another poke to my head. Aaah. Kei was giving that same unimpressed look again. She wasn’t buying it. “Tomo. Just relax.”
I gulped, nodded, and turned back to the door. It didn’t take much to open it, but once the visage of a lavender yukata registered in the new space, I was already freezing.
She was standing right behind the door.
“Hello, Tomoko-chan,” Miyako-bachan said coolly, hands hidden away in her yukata sleeves. From what I could see of her face, she was completely stoic, giving away nothing as her gaze was level with mine. “I see Kei-chan is with you.”
Tomoko-chan, breathe. Breathe.
Of course my Nobody would notice that my lungs stopped taking in air first.
“Um,” I said instead, because a lump had surfaced in my throat and I could vaguely make out some shocked noises behind me that I knew wasn’t from Kei. Panic was already bubbling up in my gut like a volcano. Aaaaaaah. What was I supposed to say in the face of that? My mouth moved without thinking as I ducked my head.“Yeah. Um, Miyako-bachan, I’m sorry. I’m so, so, so sorry! I met up with Kei and another friend—”
“Tomoko-chan.”
“We were talking for a long while, andIkindagottooemotionalandlosttrackoftime, soI’msosososorry—”
“Tomoko-chan.” A hand landed on top of my head, stopping the ramble right in its tracks. I tried not to flinch, closing my mouth in time to look up. Miyako-bachan only smiled serenely. “I am not angry.”
“…Oh?” was the rather intelligent answer from me.
“Surprised, but not angry,” she added in the same quiet voice, brushing a stray strand of hair back before glancing past me. “From the situation, I am assuming you and Kei-chan have made a new friend in your unexpected absence?”
“Yep!” Kei answered for me, rather proudly too. She had wrapped an arm around the now apparently frozen Otoha in the time it took for me to ramble like a dolt. “This is Kuroki Otoha, Mom! Our friend, fellow ninja and bookworm. Otoha, Mom. Mom, Otoha!”
“A-Also known as Kuroha-san?” I added sheepishly. “To me, anyways…” My voice cracked again.
If Miyako-bachan was surprised, she didn’t give off the impression of it. Instead, she lifted her hand from my head to smile broadly in Otoha’s direction. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Otoha-kun. Would you like to come in?”
“A-Ah,” Kuroha-san said simply, jaw clenched before putting up what looked like a crooked smile and a shaky wave of her hand as acknowledgement. The vibrating nod was hard to miss, and from the looks of it, it seemed like Otoha had lost all sense of words. Her mouth was on the edge of saying something affirmative, but with the wind behind us, nothing came out of it.
I glanced at Kei in question, but she only shrugged and squeezed Kuroha-san’s shoulders all the while, almost as if to steady her. Kuroha-san was still staring in Miyako-bachan’s direction with wide eyes and that clenched jaw.
Meanwhile, Miyako-bachan glanced between the three of us with that same smile. She wasn’t fazed, I’m guessing? “How about the three of you come in? I can prepare tea and some snacks.” She turned back around with a dainty step into the Gekkō household, and paused. “Tomoko-chan, be sure to talk to Wataru about training gi, alright? We will start as soon as you are ready.”
Hisako let out a small sigh. Of course. …Yep, knew she wasn’t going to let us out of this.
I still couldn’t stop myself from smiling because Miyako-bachan wasn’t angry. Thank the gods. Or Buddha. Or whoever. Because good luck was good luck. “O-Okay!” Maybe it was the stress. Or the fading heat of my cheeks. Still. I don’t even know where the name came from before it was already coming out of my mouth. “Thank you, Miyako-shishō!”
I could already feel Kei and Otoha’s surprised stares boring into my back. Aaaaaah, what the fuck did I just say. Sure, Miyako-bachan was pretty, awesome, and really well-off for a woman in Konoha, and I just respect her, okay?! Aaaaah.
Miyako-bachan visibly paused her walking pace back in the house. “Shishō?” Without wasting a single second, she turned her head to face me again, long black ponytail brushing her neck all the while, a smaller smile on her face. “Tomoko-chan, you don’t have to call me shishō.”
Oh gosh. “B-But you teach me a lot of things, Miyako-bachan, so you’re shishō to me too!”
Miyako-bachan’s smile broadened. “Oh, Tomoko-chan, come in and take off your sandals already. You will catch a cold if you stand out in the wind all day.”
More embarrassed heat. Aaaaah. I was so cheesy. My feet were already sweating. “Okay! I-I’m coming!”
Kei simply chuckled softly behind me. Otoha was still silent.
“Strike-one! Block! Backstep! Tomoko-chan, you are faltering! Keep a steady breath!”
“Hah! Hah!” The snap of a shinai in the air. “R-Roger that, Miyako-shishō!”
“Block again!”
“Hah!”
“Backstep! Backstep! Backstep! Strike-two! I did not hear a snap of the shinai, Tomoko-chan! Swing harder!”
“H-Hai, Miyako-shishō!”
“You can do it, Tomo-nee!”
Otoha was still staring out towards Miyako with wide eyes as Kei drank some of her green tea. Tomo was doing fine based on chakra alone, even with her iffy endurance, so it was time to focus on the other person in the vicinity. Miyako could take care of Hayate. “Something the matter, Otoha?”
The enby startled before turning to her with a sheepish smile. She waved her hand in the air as discreetly as she could, shaking her head to the previous question. “Okay. Just really really really happy, Lang-Lang,” was the mouthed response, and Kei nodded. It was a nonverbal moment. Alright. “You have—” Otoha paused at this, glancing back at the training session still going on between Miyako and Tomoko for a moment.
A moment of silence, aside from the snapping of shinai, Hayate’s cheering, and Miyako’s barked instructions, passed between the two.
“Os?” Kei whispered.
Otoha turned back to her with a big, shaky grin, vibrating in place on her seat cushion. “You have a really awesome mom, Kei-Kei.”
Kei grinned back. “Mom is awesome. I’m glad you like her.”
Otoha nodded vigorously, opening her mouth again. “I-I wanna cry, just a bit,” they mouthed. “Could I come here more often?”
“No one is saying no, Otoha,” Kei replies, the grin already making her cheeks hurt from how big it was on her face. “It’s always nice to have company.”
Otoha’s shoulders tensed just as her smile broadened, nodding hard again. “Th-Thank you, Lang-Lang,” was the silent, mouthed reply. Accentuated with another wave of a hand in the air. “Thank you.”
“No problem, Otoha,” Kei turned back to the training session with that same smile, holding back a snicker at the latest event going on. “No problem.”
“Tomoko-chan, your stance is too loose! Tighten your muscles!”
“H-Hai, Miyako-shishō!”
“Strike again!”
“HAH!”
Even with the hard swipe of Tomoko’s shinai in the air, Kei didn’t miss the small and happy dinosaur trill nearby. It was peaceful. Just as it should be.  
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angeltriestoblog · 5 years
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On-brand stories from my childhood
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I remember this tweet going around a few months ago, soliciting people’s most on-brand stories from their childhood, things they’ve done or words they’ve said as a kid that sum up who they are at present. I wanted to participate so bad when I first saw it on my timeline, but I knew that being the eccentric, one-of-a-kind kid I was, it would take me a long period of reminiscing (and more tweets in a thread than anyone would bother to read) to put down everything worth noting. So, here it is: 10 of the weirdest, Most Angel experiences from my youth, for the lack of a way to put it, accompanied by photos of baby me because let’s face it, they make everything better.
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ONE: When I was about four, my parents took me to a building very near our house to have my IQ checked. They had an inkling that I was a gifted child, and wanted to confirm it with a professional. So, I was escorted into an office, and subjected to interrogation to assess my competence in several areas of giftedness - much to my dismay, since all I wanted was to get that interview over and done with so I could read books in the library next door. There was this one part where the person in charge of me was trying to test my kinesthetic abilities by getting me to follow this aerobics routine that she was making me do. “Step step one, step step two,” she was saying while stomping to the right and stomping right back in place. I told her I didn’t want to do it, because I didn’t want to look like a fool.
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TWO: I had this knack for correcting teachers. As a kid, I was hyperfixated on learning all the countries in the world and their respective capitals, with the help of this flash cards set that I got from Toy Kingdom. So when there was this time that my Filipino teacher had said that there were only two countries in the world with names that started with the letter Q, five year old Angel was very quick to correct her. “Miss Melissa, there’s only one country that starts with the letter Q! It’s Qatar!” I told her. She replied, “No! Quebec is a country, too!” This argument persisted for a bit until she made us do a seatwork, which gave her the opportunity to leave us to go to the computer room for a bit (since cellphones weren’t given Internet capability back in 2006). She returned and told me, “Angel, tama ka nga. Di pala bansa yung Quebec, hehe.”
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THREE: It’s become common knowledge to everyone in my life that I wrote books growing up, but my body of work extended way beyond my very inventive fiction (alternatively called, me putting my own twist on the fairytales I read growing up) and creative non-fiction (me telling everyone how my day, half true-to-life, accurate detail and half-imagination). I remember going through the family laptop one day, and coming across the corporate profile of my uncle’s company, where my dad was working at the time as the technical assistant to the president. Being the child I was who wanted to emulate everything her father was doing, I wanted to make a copy of my own too but I was unfortunately unemployed. Thankfully, I took matters into my own hands and made up a company of my own, which I aptly named Pamper and Pretty. Excuse the fatal grammar error, but I was six and was yet to be familiarized with what parallelism in writing actually was. I drafted a whole corporate profile, complete with the list of my employees along with their corresponding duties and responsibilities, as well as a list of all our products and services.
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And of course, how could I forget my professional resume?
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FOUR: I even looked far into the future and prepared a spiel for when we’d be looking for new employees, as well as a list of rules and regulations to follow if ever anyone would pass our grueling hiring process. My favorite is rule #26, which goes “Drug pushers are not allowed in the store.”
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FIVE: While we’re on the topic of business, I guess it’s worth boasting that I was able to sit in a meeting my mom had back in the day with the rest of the members of the Systems and Methods division, and I was asked to take the minutes for a change. I’m aware I’m making absolutely no sense, but after much inferring, I guess it revolves mainly around IT, monitoring procedures and AARs.
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SIX: I was a proponent for self-help at a very young age too, creating a list of five rules to live by, which I referred to as my “straight line project”. For which reason, I have absolutely no clue. One part reads: “Always watch out for a kid bullying some one so you can save the person being fought, then do the same thing that the bully kid did to your friend like for example when they are fighting in a swimming pool that the bully is trying to push your friend, you should save your friend and push the bully kid to the pool.” I advised. Turns out I had an attitude and a knack for retributive justice from the very start.
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SEVEN: I also found a couple of letters I addressed to Santa as the Christmas season approached, where I requested everything from “world peace” to the entire Diary of A Wimpy Kid series. Talk about being a versatile queen! My favorite of the bunch was the last one I made, where I included directions and a sketch to get to our new house, because we had moved residences earlier that year. I just didn’t want Santa to get lost, and sneak in my old house only to find out that I was no longer there.
(Fortunately, my mom was able to print out all those files I had saved to the family computer before I promptly infected it with a virus that wiped out its entire memory. The lengths seven year old Angel would go just to download Young Guns by Wham! from Limewire.)
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EIGHT: I was elected as class president multiple times in grade school, which you would think would mold me into becoming an active student leader. But, my term was constantly shrouded in controversy. I was always tasked to write down the list of noisy students on the blackboard, I’m not exactly sure if this qualifies as public humiliation but I wasn’t concerned with that at the time and did everything I could to fulfill my duty. A classmate of mine was singing a High School Musical song at the top of her lungs, and I asked her to stop. Usually, that does the trick and sends the noisemaker back to their seat but she ran out of the room and brought her mom upstairs because she got upset.
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NINE: I also rode on a classmate’s bag, which resulted in her mom going upstairs (I have no idea why their moms spent the entire day in the waiting room on the first floor too, man) and scolding me, saying that her daughter’s bag is not a pony. I was also accused of calling my classmate stupid because she was only Top 7 out of all the students in class, while I was Top 1, which was false by the way since “stupid” was considered a curse word in our household until I was 10. Perhaps the best scuffle I got myself into was because I had checked my classmate’s homework with red crayon and put several drawings of hearts and stars, as well as reassuring comments along the lines of “Great job!” and “Congratulations!” around his perfect score. His father literally had me sent to the principal’s office. Parents then had way too much time on their hands, I swear to God.
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TEN: If we don’t take into consideration the whole fiasco that involved my Teletubbies stuffed toy*, my first brush with “love” happened when I was in kindergarten. I had a crush on one of my classmates named Kevin, who is the scrawny little boy that you see beside me in the pictures below. I don’t remember anything else about him, not even his surname, and I haven’t heard of nor seen him since our pre-school graduation ceremony. All I have to remember him by are these photos, and a video that my mom took of both of us where he was seen flapping his arms around and making weird facial expressions, while I would squirm out of kilig in response. Weird. The worst part of it all? I didn’t even like him because he was cute or funny or nice to me: it’s just because he was named after my favorite Backstreet Boy.
(*In case anyone's curious, up until I was about three years old, my parents and I lived in Malabon with my maternal grandmother, who was tasked with taking care of me while my mom and dad were both at work. She was fond of watching Filipino teleseryes while taking care of me: they often had their fair share of kissing scenes, but I was practically a baby at the time who wasn’t capable of processing or remembering the things she was seeing on TV. Or so they thought. My mom said she had walked on two year old me making out with my cousin’s Teletubbies stuffed toy one time. She then promptly asked my lola if they could keep me as far away from the television as possible once Pangako Sa’Yo came on. Can’t blame her for that, honestly.)
That’s all I can think of right now, but I know there’s plenty more where that came from. Hope everyone is having a fruitful Holy Week celebration. Wishing you nothing but love and light, always always always.
Angel
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