#just gimme a fuckin minute like damn

[sp00ky-scary]

can customers stop talking to the drive thru speaker like it's a fucking ouija board, im losing my mind

[hazbinshusk]

playing around with husk x reader because @irkimatsu and @monstrousvoice have destroyed my brain and I want to thank them for it. just pure fluff; i'm working towards the smut for my grumpy ol' bartender. first attempt at writing for hazbin/husk, so please, all feedback is welcome and wonderful.

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You could feel the thrum of the bass echoed through your body, your skin stained by the club’s multi-colored lights. The tequila burned your throat as you swallowed, and you grimaced, sucking gratefully on the slice of lime Cherri thrust into your hand. You might not love most of Angel’s job, but you’d come to appreciate a few of the perks – namely the access granted to you to the VIP section of any club this side of the Pride Ring, so long as he was by your side. Or at least, in your vicinity. He was currently putting in the ten minutes of dedicated schmoozing among sinners to talk up the hotel – which he’d promised Charlie to do in order for you all to skip out on another bonding night in the lobby.

“Rounds eight, nine and ten, bitch!” Cherri Bomb declared, slamming down another collection of shots down in front of you moments later. She ignored the way your brows creased, shoving you playfully in the shoulder. You rocked precariously on your stool as the gesture threw you off balance, grabbing hastily at the side of the bar. “Let’s goooo!”

“You’re gonna be the double death of me, Cherri,” you replied even as you threw back the next shot.

“And what a way to fuckin’ go!” she cheered.

You laughed, a little too loud thanks to the booze, and you stiffened slightly as a weight suddenly appeared against your back.

“No wonder I can’t get a damn drink in this place; two of you are bogartin’ the bartender.” Husk grumbled as he leaned past you, pressing further against you in order to swipe one of the glasses in front of you. “Gimme one of those.”

An amused smile touched your features at the gruff edge to his tone. You felt his hand touch your hip for balance, his claws ghosting against the sliver of bare skin at the small of your back. The gesture made color rise in your cheeks, and you picked up a slice of lime to offer it to him over your shoulder. He didn’t take it but you felt him pause as he set the glass down and began to pull away again.

“Huh.”

The warmth of his breath tickled against your neck. His voice was softer, velvety and low, and it sent a surprising heat shooting down your spine. You suddenly found yourself wanting to melt into that tone, all honey and whiskey, and you felt your face flush further. You could feel every inch of where his body rested against yours, his fur tickling wherever your skin sat bare. His face was so close to your throat you swore you could almost feel his lips ghost against your shoulder.

“You smell good."

He’s gone a moment later and you find yourself sitting wide-eyed for a long moment before your mind finally catches up with what just happened.

“Uh, you gonna tell me what the fuck that was?” Cherri laughed, her tone caught somewhere between amusement and bewilderment. “Since when does the old man like your personal space so fuckin’ much?”

You shrugged, reaching for another shot and avoiding her eye. “Let’s just dance, okay?”

“’Bout fuckin’ time, bitch!”

***

You relaxed back against the edge of the sofa, your legs curled beneath you on the floor as Angel cackled drunkenly at the television from where he was sprawled across another couch. You’d recently introduced him to 2000s stoner movies, and they’d quickly become one of his favorite ways to end a night out.

The two of you had stumbled home with Husk in tow – Cherri having found alternate company to spend the rest of her night with. The bar tender was now laying on his stomach on the couch behind you, his head in his arms and his tail waving lazily back and forth by your side. Each sway of it had it brushing briefly against your arm, the feathers tickling against your skin.

He groaned quietly at the pitch of Angel’s voice, shifting behind you. You were holding a tumbler of whiskey against your chest and lifted it blindly in offering. You heard him hum gratefully, his voice rough now with what was nearly sleep, his claws making a quiet tink against the glass as he took it from you.

“Too nice to me,” he muttered with what you could swear was affection pitching his voice. He slurred the next words, pressing the glass back into your hand. “Too fuckin’ nice.”

“Me?” you replied, catching the last few drops from the glass before setting it on the floor beside you. You tilted your head back against the sofa beside him. You smiled lazily. “Never.”

“Always,” he mumbled back, and your brows rose in surprise as you felt his forehead bump against your temple. “Still smell fuckin’ good…”

A shiver settled against your spine as his face moved lower, rubbing his cheek against yours and down to where the column of your neck was still stretched against the edge of the cushion. A deep, almost rusty sounding rumble rolled from his chest and you felt the sound of it filling you with warmth in the same way the whiskey had. His nose left dampness on your flesh, and each time his warm breath fanned across it you felt a shiver build in your lower back.

“Husk…?”

“Pretty thing you are,” his mouth was near your ear, his claws curling around your shoulder. You cast a glance towards the spider still stretched out on the opposite couch. He was currently drooling into one of the pillows, the film’s final scenes casting shifting lights over his fur. Husk’s purring grew louder as you reached up hesitantly to tease your fingers through the fur of his arm. “Never said…”

“Never said what?” you asked quietly, turning your head to face him better.

“Christ…”

You felt a smile tilt the corner of your mouth. “No, you say that all the time.”

He chuckled, eyes closed, his forehead bumping against yours. “Cheeky.”

You grinned, reaching up to run your fingers through the fur between his ears.  You could barely hear the credits rolling over the sound of his purring, his head pressing up into your palm. And when you made to move it away again, he chased it instinctively. It brought his face closer to yours, his nose bumping against yours.

Husk jerked back slightly, his eyes opening. He blinked at you slowly, that lazy, drunken smile still softening his features. His eyes fell from yours, and heat bloomed in your again as they settled on your lips. “Too fuckin’ nice to me…”

[joelalorian]

Fall Into Me - Chapter Eight: We'll Dance in the Street like Nobody's Watching

dbf!Joel x f!reader

Summary: Joel is hanging on by a thread as a single father to a tenacious 10-year-old Sarah. Feeling like he's drowning, like the world is about to spit him out, he needs some help before he breaks in half. At your dad's insistence, you show up in his life and change everything.

Story is inspired by the song Fall Into Me by Forest Blakk. Chapter titles will be lyrics from the song.

Word Count: 3.8k

Chapter Warnings: Explicit, under 18 take a hike. No outbreak AU. Lots of feelings, unprotected p in v, flirting, dads being dads. Two idiots falling in love and finally fucking admitting it. Joel is his own warning. Age gap of about 9 years (Reader 24/25, Joel 33/34). No use of y/n. Reader has a nickname used only by her dad and Joel uses various terms of endearment (darlin', sweetheart, etc.).

This chapter includes the scene that sparked the entire story idea. I've been patiently waiting for it to see the light of day. hope you enjoy!

Thank you so much to everyone who reads this self-indulgent story and extra thanks to those who comment and/or reblog - you all make me feel like a rock star!

Dividers by the wonderful @saradika-graphics

Chapter Seven | Main Masterlist

“So, how was it?” Grilling you for the past twenty minutes, Emily was relentless in her pursuit to find out just how good Joel was in bed, after congratulating you on the new job, of course. “Come on! I need to know!”

“Alright, alright! I had no idea you were such a needy bitch. Is your hubby not dicking you down enough or what?” you laughed before regaling her with tales of Joel’s prowess.

“I fuckin’ knew he’d be big and know how to use it! He just gives off that BDE, ya know what I mean? Just how big are we talkin’, anyway?”

Rolling your eyes, you laughed again. “Well, I didn’t fucking measure it, but it’s a definite handful. Besides, you’ve never even met him, Em! How could you possibly get that vibe?”

“I’ve seen photos and heard stories, that’s more than enough to pick up on that sorta thing,” Emily replied with the confidence of someone who damn well knows what she’s talking about. “I need to know more. Gimme all the details!”

“Yeah, yeah. Speaking of BDE, I gotta finish getting ready. Joel said he had something special planned for tonight to celebrate me getting the teaching job.”

“I bet he does. You’re gonna get another deep dicking from that huge—”

“Bye Em!” you cut her off and hit end call before she could carry on anymore.

Tossing the phone on your bed, you finished putting a light layer of makeup on, putting in a little more effort to look good tonight. Ten minutes later, dressed in a pair of dark, fitted jeans and a dark blue, long-sleeve, vee neck shirt that showed just a touch of cleavage, you wandered out to the living room.

“Alright Dad, I’m off. I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” Leaning over the back of his recliner, you press a kiss to his balding head.

“Have fun on your date and be careful, Spud. Call me if you need a ride home or anything,” he replied, patting your hand. You turned to leave, grabbing a light jacket from the hook by the door just in case, when your dad’s voice carried from the living room. “It’s funny, Joel told me he has a date tonight, too.”

Freezing for a moment, you squeak, “Oh, yeah?”

“Uh huh. Quite a coincidence me thinks.” He paused again, but you were at a loss for words and grateful that he couldn’t see your expression. “Enjoy your night, kiddo.”

Knowing a dismissal when you heard one, you take off through the door. Your mind raced on the short drive to Joel’s. He knows. Your dad so knows. You start to panic for a moment wondering if he’s upset before the realization hits that he didn’t seem remotely mad about it. More like he got a kick out of the idea and enjoyed teasing you. You and Joel had to fess up very soon, but that was a tomorrow problem. Tonight was meant to be all about you and Joel.

Walking through the front door, you expected to find Joel in the living room or kitchen, but the downstairs was empty. Lugging your overnight bag up the stairs, you thought maybe he’d be in his room or the bathroom still getting ready, but again, no sign of him. Where the hell was he?

Making your way down the stairs, you peeked out the window to make sure you didn’t imagine his truck in the driveway when you parked – it was there, right next to your car. He had to be around here somewhere. The sound of soft music hit your ears suddenly. Following the sound, you slipped out the back door and gasped.

A soft glow spread across the yard from lights strung from tree to tree, a plaid tablecloth covered the patio table on which sat a vase of brightly colored tulips, an open bottle of pinot noir, two stemless wine glasses, and two covered plates. Just beyond the patio, a hammock hung between two large live oaks with another set of string lights dangling above it. As your eyes took it all in, Joel stood off to the side watching you with a warm smile.

“Joel,” you whispered, afraid to disturb the dream-like quality of the moment, his name a drawn-out breath in the air when you finally turned to him. His dark eyes glinted from the string lights as he stepped forward out of the shadows, one hand stretched out towards you. There was no hesitation in reaching for him and you clung to each other for a few minutes before he stepped back to pull out a chair for you.

“Thank you,” you whispered, settling into the seat. When Joel took his place across the table from you, you added, “This is so lovely, Joel.”

A bashful smile graced his lips as he removed the covers from the plates and filled the wine glasses. Your gaze soaked in every little movement he made, in awe of the gorgeous man before you and all he’d done to make this evening special. Holding his glass up, he toasted to you. “Here’s to your new job and the start of a very rewarding career. Congrats darlin’.”

Clinking your glass against his lightly, you beamed at him. He looked so handsome, thick curls pushed back away from his face, tanned skin glowing in the soft lighting. “Thank you, Joel.” Already buzzing from the way he made you feel, you sipped lightly at the wine before digging into the meal before you.

Bursts of flavor hit your palette at the first bite, the chicken cooked to perfection and the sun-dried tomatoes adding just the right tang to the red pesto coating the rigatoni. A soft moan escaped before you caught it, cheeks heating up with the way Joel looked at you with hooded eyes.

“I reckon you like it?” he asked, a teasing lilt to his gravelly voice.

“This may be the most delicious thing I’ve ever tasted, Joel. Did you make this?” You took another bite, savoring the flavors that exploded in your mouth.

“Mmhmm. It’s my mama’s recipe, she made it a lot when we were younger, and it’s always been my favorite. I’m glad you like it.” He watched you enjoy another forkful, obviously proud.

“I don’t just like it, Joel. This is fuckin’ delicious. I didn’t know you could cook like this!”

His cheeks turned pink as he cleared his throat. “I can’t, usually. I practiced a lot with this one.” That melted your heart further.

You ate your fill, making small conversation between bites, until your wine glass was empty, and your belly satisfied. Joel poured you another glass, which you sipped leisurely as he cleared the table and placed the dirty dishes in the dishwasher for later. He wouldn’t let you lift a finger.

“Dance with me?” he said upon his return outside, voice deep and gravelly as he plucked the glass from your hand and placed it on the table.

“I’d love to,” you replied softly, lips tilted upwards in a sweet smile. Holding his left hand out, Joel helped you to your feet and let you off the patio.

A new song began, volume a little louder now, and you stepped closer to him. A warm buzz spread through your veins when Joel pulled you against his broad chest, one arm wrapping around your waist and the other bent to hold your hand over his heart. You could feel the thump of his heartbeat beneath the green flannel he wore as he swayed you slowly around the grassy yard, careful to not stray too close to the pool.

Nothing ever felt as right as being there in Joel’s arms, dancing in the yard like the world beyond the fence didn’t exist. Your feelings for this man were overwhelming, growing deeper each and every day – hell, each and every second was more like it – and that four-letter word bubbled in your throat. You swallowed it down, settling your head against Joel’s shoulder, eyes closed and focused on the moment.

Joel’s chin tilted downward, nudging against the side of your face, his lips near your ear, and his breath sent delightful chills down your spine when he began to sing softly.

“Fall into me and I’ll catch you, darlin’. We’ll dance in the street like nobody’s watching. It’s just you and me and the song on repeat in my head, playing over and over…”

My god, how could you not fall in love with this incredible man?

The intimacy of it all brought tears to your eyes as your fingers threaded through the hair at the back of his head. Stomach alight with the flutter of too many butterflies, the urge to speak from your heart became too much, you could hold back no longer.

“I love you, Joel.”

You loved him.

What did he ever do to deserve something like that?

Heart clenching deep in his chest, Joel guided you to the hammock, music still carrying softly through the air. With amazing finesse, he settled you both on the hanging fabric, bodies snuggled together until you nearly became one.

He ached to say the words back to you, but they kept getting stuck in his throat. Instead, he settled for showing you how he felt, just like he did with dancing and singing in your ear – he could have written that song for how relatable it was to the feelings you brought out in him. Dark eyes stared into yours as his hands moved over your body, pulling you impossibly closer.

I love you, his lips said as they pressed heatedly against yours.

I love you, his tongue said as it licked softly into your mouth to tangle delicously with yours.

I love you, his hands said as they touched you with utter reverence.

I love you, his body said as he pressed it tightly against yours, trying in vain to crawl beneath your skin.

Joel kissed you with singular focus until you were both breathless and overwrought with need.

“Take me to bed, Joel,” you whispered when he finally tore his lips from yours. “I need to feel every bit of you.”

Your angelic voice music to his ears, he scrambled from the hammock, scooping you up in his muscled arms to carry you inside and up to his bedroom. His mind occupied by one thing and one thing only – making love to you until you knew every part of him and he knew every part of you – the string lights and last bit of wine were left forgotten in the yard.

Loving the way you clung to him, Joel swept through the house and up the stairs with an urgency he’d not felt before.

His lips moved to brush down your neck, nipping at the tender skin as he went. Once in his room, he closed the door even though you were the only two there. Joel kissed each new patch of skin bared as he removed your clothes until you were completely naked. Easing you back onto his unmade bed, a low growl rumbled from deep in his chest when your fingers slid along his scalp and tugged on his hair. Fucking lord did he love how you touched him.

“Fuck, I need to taste you, pretty girl.”

He’d never seen anyone or anything more beautiful in his life as your naked body writhed on his bed, eager and yearning for his touch, and Joel knelt to worship at the altar of you.

Starting at your delicate feet, Joel’s fingertips traced every inch of you until he reached the apex of your thighs. Leaning forward, he let the scruff of his facial hair tickle along the flesh of your inner thighs, pressing open-mouth kisses along the soft skin as he went. Grinning as you trembled, he met your wide gaze as he leant forward, tongue exploring your folds.

The first taste of you set his soul on fire. Sweet like honey yet more addicting and thrice as satisfying, Joel licked at your clit, tongue occasionally dipping down into you, slurping greedily at the very essence of you.

He couldn’t have thought of a more delicious dessert.

His movements elicited sensuous moans that shot straight to his cock, his jeans quickly becoming too tight and uncomfortable. Seeking a little relief, his hips began grinding against the mattress as he brought you closer and closer to the edge, fingers soon assisting his tongue in driving you mad. Just when he thought he might blow his load in his jeans, again, you came, crying his name out, the syllables drawing out in a beautiful, lyrical drawl. Working you through it, Joel drank down every bit of your release like a thirsty man in the desert.

“Fuck, darlin’. You taste fuckin’ delicious. I could live here, between your legs, for the rest of my life, surviving on just you.” Joel stood as he spoke, gazing down at your blissed out form on his bed as he tore off his clothes, one large hand palming his cock before he practically dove into bed with you.

“You’re too good at that, Joel Miller,” you said, the words falling lazily from your lips as you recovered from the singularly intense orgasm. Swooping down, Joel kissed you passionately, offering you a taste of yourself lingering on his tongue.

Letting his body continue to do the communicating for him, Joel shifted his hips, grinding gently against you while his mouth devoured yours. Groaning as your nails scratched down his back, he reached a hand down to guide his cock toward its home in your pussy. Dark eyes opened wide, Joel watched your face as he entered you, delighting in the scrunch of your nose and the way your eyes squeezed shut before popping open again at the sensation of him splitting you open.

With long, slow, oh so deep, strokes, Joel made love to you, telegraphing the depth of his feelings in the only way he knew how, until you were writhing in pleasure beneath him. Afterwards, he cleaned the mess between your thighs and held you close until you fell asleep with your head resting on his chest. Only then, did he finally whisper the words he longed to say all night. “I love you, too.”

Joel stayed awake for a while, listening to your gentle snores and the soft sighs you made in your sleep. He loved that you let your guard down with him, that he was the man who got to hold you while you slept. In the darkness of night, Joel made himself a promise that he would not fuck this up before falling into a deep sleep of his own.

His dreams were particularly vivid, the sensation of your mouth around his cock so strong he’d swear it was real. He’d never experienced your mouth around him like that before, though, so it couldn’t be real. Joel let his dream-self enjoy every moment, your lips around his shaft and tongue teasing the throbbing vein along the underside of his cock a divinity he’d never known before. At one point you took him so deep that a loud, guttural moan escaped his lips, hands clenching in your hair.

Eyes popping open, the moan carried on, rumbling from deep within Joel’s chest as he glanced down to find you feasting on his hardened length. It wasn’t a dream after all.

“Fuuuccckkk,” his voice, still rough with sleep, drew out the word as he watched you go down on him. Your mouth a form of heaven he suffered too long without, the cheeky, mischievous look in your eye making the pleasure more intense. You clearly enjoyed the act nearly as much as he did.

It didn’t take long before your wanton rhythm and sinful mouth had him coming down your throat, your name a prayer recited over and over in that gravelly voice. “Jesus fucking Christ, darlin’. Where’d you learn to suck cock like that, hmm? Your mouth is like God damn heaven.”

Joel’s chest heaved as you gulped down every drop of his spend, tongue darting out to lick the last bit from the little slit on his cockhead before sliding over your lips. You visibly swallowed, savoring the taste of him; his eyes glued to your mouth the whole time. His hand came up, caressing your face with the love he couldn’t yet voice shining brightly in his eyes, and his thumb traced along your plump bottom lip.

“My little gummy worm,” he murmured, delirious from coming so hard. “Felt so good wrapped around my fat cock.”

Crawling up his body, you settled your weight atop him and pressed your lips to his, letting him taste a hint of himself on your tongue as licked into his mouth, returning the favor from the night before. The kiss was languid and sloppy, perfect for a lazy morning waking up together.

“You tasted good, all salty and musky,” you said once you broke away, voice raspy from having his dick halfway down your throat.

“You can wake me up like that any time you’d like, darlin’.”

The two of you cuddled for a while, neither of you too eager to start the day knowing you didn’t have anything pressing to do. Those unspoken words bubbled in Joel’s chest the whole time, begging to come to the surface, to be spoken aloud and given credence. Still, he hesitated without quite knowing why. Finally rolling out of bed around 10, you jumped into the shower while Joel threw on some clothes and ran out to grab some breakfast.

He just pulled back into his driveway, a bag with a few bagel breakfast sandwiches in one hand – he got an extra in case you wanted pork roll instead of bacon – a coffee and orange juice clutched in the other, when JB’s truck pulled up in front of his house.

Settled on the couch after your refreshing shower, legs tucked under you while scrolling through your phone, you heard Joel’s truck pull up. Waiting for him to come in with breakfast for you both, you were caught off guard by the deep voices rumbling in the front yard. You sat up, peeking through the blinds to find your dad out front, hands on his hips as he spoke to Joel.

Oh shit.

You couldn’t discern their facial expressions from that angle and moved to the front door, quietly easing the heavy wood open to peek out and eavesdrop. They had to be talking about you, right? There was no hiding or pretending you weren’t here, especially with your car parked in the driveway right next to Joel’s. After your dad’s comments last night, you wondered if he planned this ambush then.

“I knew she’d be here,” you heard your dad say, but you couldn’t read his body language clearly. His hands were on his hips still, but there was a smile on his face. “You sweet on my baby girl, Joel?”

You couldn’t hear Joel’s response, his gravelly voice pitched too low for your ears to catch across the distance, but you could see him smile hesitantly even as his broad shoulders hunched slightly. Whatever it was caused your dad to chuckle and punch Joel playfully.

“I knew it!” your dad exclaimed, the sudden loudness startling you. “I knew you two would hit it off, I just wasn’t sure how long it’d take.”

You caught Joel’s response this time, his surprised voice pitching upwards. “You’re not upset?”

Walking toward the house without invitation, your dad paused. “Why the hell would I be upset? You’re a good man, Joel, and I know you’ll treat her well. And she’ll be good for you, too, I have no doubt. Now, you got enough in that there bag for breakfast for three?”

Your shoulders sagged with relief as you eased the door open. “I thought I heard voices! Hi Dad,” you greeted. “What are you doing here?”

“Hey Spud. I could ask you the same thing, but I knew I’d find you here.” Pulling you in for a hug, he ushered you inside. “I got tired of waiting for you two to come clean and thought I’d put you both on the spot.”

Eyebrows shooting up, you glanced at Joel before meeting your dad’s gaze again. “How did you know?”

Giving you a shrug, he said, “You two weren’t exactly subtle and a father always knows.” Nudging your shoulder, JB turned to Joel. “You’ll find that out soon enough, my friend. I can’t wait for the trouble that Sarah will give you.”

The three of you sat at the small dining table, digging into the breakfast sandwiches, your dad insisting you tell him how long you and Joel had been seeing each other and how it all started. Relieved to finally have the truth out there, you told him the story and JB chuckled.

“That about tracks. That’s right around when I started to notice something different between the two of you. And it sure explains why you hardly gave Annica the time of day on your date.” JB gave Joel grief about that failed date for weeks knowing that there was something – or someone – else drawing the man’s attention. JB had the feeling back then that it was you, his baby girl, his grown-up Spud, who captured the single father’s attention.

“You sure you’re okay with this, Dad? I mean…” your words fell off, not really knowing what to say. You’d be heartbroken if your dad wasn’t okay with a relationship between you and Joel, especially now that you verbally admitted to being in love with him.

“Are you kidding? I’m happy as a pig in shit that the two people I care about most like each other.” Your dad was all smiles, beady eyes sparkling with mischief. “In fact, I was planning on setting the two of you up if you didn’t figure things out for yourselves first. Tommy was in on the plan, too, and was the one who suggested we give it a little time. Little shit never told me it became official, though.”

Sitting back in your seat, you giggled with relief. All that time spent fretting over what your dad might think, feeling guilty for dating his best friend and hiding it from him for so long. It was all for naught. You should have known he’d love the idea of you two together.

“So, when’s the wedding?” JB asked, a shit-eating grin spread across his lips as you and Joel froze, eyes darting to each other in wide-eyed panic. Your dad practically guffawed at his own humor while you two were practically having a panic attack. “I’m just kidding – there’s no rush. Just make sure you treat her right, Joel.”

Recovering from the initial panic – not that he didn’t want to marry you, eventually, just not quite this soon – Joel laughed a little nervously. “Of course, JB. I’ll always treat her right. I, uh… I love her.” His gaze shifted to you, heart showing firmly in those dark chocolate orbs. “I love you, darlin'.”

tbc

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[theitgirlnetwork]

Better

Chapter 6: Exclusive...Friends

Note: Hello! Once again thanks for all of the amazing support and love! Writing this story is so fun because of you all! I love seeing everyone interact with it and leave me replies and messages. I am also so glad that you guys like Charlotte! I plan to have the next chapter out tomorrow. Hope you enjoy! <3 WARNING: A little explicit? Kinda. Not really. MDNI

The woman squints her eyes in confusion, looking between Lip and the phone. “I…what?” 

Lip scrubs a hand down his face, trying to calm the insecure thoughts already swirling around in his head. “Boyfriend at home?” His nerves only get worse when she doesn’t immediately respond, instead placing her phone down on his dresser tilting her head at him, offering him an innocent look. Face down. Karen used to do that shit. “Well?”

“Phillip, if I had a boyfriend I would tell you. I would’ve told you.” Charlotte says, hugging herself. Her rose petal lips pulled down into a frown, “Are you seriously mad that I answered my phone? You’re the one who told me to answer.”

“Yeah, I fuckin’ know I did-”

“Stop cursing at me.”

“I’m not cursing at you-”

“Okay, so what are you cursing at? Why are you acting like this, weren’t we having a good time?” Charlotte nods her head toward the door, gesturing for Lip to pull it shut. The blond curses one more time before tugging the door closed and moving to sit on his bed, breathing a little bit better when she sits next to him. “I don’t get what I did wrong.”

The guilt washes over Lip like a wave. He’s pissed at himself for not just listening to Ian and staying downstairs while she made her call. It’s none of his damn business who she’s on the phone with. Even if he feels like it is, it’s not Charlotte’s fault he has fucking issues. “Nothing, You didn't do anything, baby, my bad. Fuck, I need a smoke.” He climbs over the bed, pushing the window open and pulls out a pack of cigarettes, offering one to the girl absently, feeling her watching his every move carefully. “Want one?”

Charlotte’s frown goes even deeper. She shrugs spitefully, flipping her hair over shoulder. “Okay. Fine. Gimme one.” 

Lip looks over to her in shock, snapping out of his jealous, guilt filled haze and realizing she’d just accepted a cigarette from him. She’s staring back at him with a challenge on her face, white cigarette between her pink lips. He raises one eyebrow at her, accepting her challenge, pulling his lighter from his pocket.

The pair stare at each other for a moment, stuck in a limbo, each refusing to break. Silence is filling the room, the only sound is muffled music filtering in from downstairs and cars going by outside. Lip breaks the stalemate, unable to hold back his snicker at the fact that Charlotte is holding the wrong way. Her eyes drop to his hand, seeing how he’s holding his and she flips it, mumbling a ‘shut up’ placing it back in between her lips. 

His laughter stops immediately when she snatches the lighter from him, her manicured nails struggling to try to force the stick to light. “Fuck, Charlotte-” Lip’s snatches the cigarette from her lips, snapping it in half between his fingers and tossing it outside before shoving the pack into his drawer, never grabbing one for himself. Grabbing her chin with his thumb and pointer finger, he pulls her face closer, “You don’t use those, understand me?” 

“You don’t get mad at me out of nowhere, for no reason.” she pouts. “Understand me?” 

“Heard.”

“Good.” She chirps, moving away from the window and laying down on her back in his bed, brightness quickly returning to her brown eyes. “Me too. Heard.”

Lip laughs again, even more of the tension that had filled his body in the last few minutes dissipates as he slips down onto the bed too, laying next to her and staring up at the ceiling. “You wanna sound like me or somethin’ now?”

“What? Why would I wanna do that? You’re full of yourself, Phillip Gallagher.” she hums.

“Yeah?” he asks, as he turns lightly to send his fingers into her sides, tickling her briefly before tugging her on top of him to straddle his hips, his hands resting on hers. He feels the room fill with the sound of her laughter, forcing his own smile to form. As their chuckles settle and Charlotte stays on top of him, resting her weight Lip thinks about how good this moment is. Her hands falling softly into his curls, fingers running through his curls, she’s looking down at him with an expression he doesn’t think he’s ever seen before. He wants more of it. He loves it.

It’s not even sexual, this moment, him rubbing his thumbs along her hips where her shirt had ridden up and her pants low…okay maybe it’s a little sexual. He’s still a man and this hot girl was sitting her ass on his dick, he’s not a saint. But it wasn’t about how badly he wants to fuck her. Even though he really…really does.

Lip is more focused on how she wasn’t punishing him. He’d been an ass, no matter how fast he snapped out of it. And she didn’t storm out. She didn’t start ignoring him. She was still here. They hadn’t even talked about it, but she wasn’t withholding affection, or trying to distract him with sex. She was giving him soft touches. Charlotte is soft. It makes Lip want to be. Caresses over his jaw, and hair, a patient look, waiting for him to explain what was bothering him. It felt safe to. 

“I uh…” he tries, bringing his own hand up to lightly push his knuckle into her dimple, letting out a breath when she leans into his touch. “I uh, don’t want you fuckin’ with anyone else, alright? I know we’re not really together or anything, and we’re doing your whole ‘friends’ thing but-”

“Okay.” Charlotte says softly. “I won’t. You won’t either, right?” 

Blue eyes stare up into brown and a beat passes. “I won’t.”

“Yay.” she hums quietly, a gentle smile is all he gets to see before she leans down on him completely, burrowing her face into his neck, her hair tickling his skin. 

Lip chuckles, turning his head and kissing her behind her ear and then again on the cheek before flipping them over so he’s on top of her, nudging her hands off of her face. “Yeah? You shy now?”

“Stop it.”

“C’mon, bunny, look at me.” he teases, leaning his forehead against hers. “‘M’sorry, I still gotta ask.”

Charlotte looks up at him, biting her bottom lip. “That was my best friend from home on the phone.”

“Yeah? She okay?”

She sweeps her thumb over his cheek. “Yeah,” she looks away. “He is.”

“Fuckin’ knew it.”

“And while I’m being honest, we used to date.” she blurts, squeezing her eyes shut.”

“Charlotte.” he all but growls, guiding her face to look back at his. “He know about me?”

“Of course, he does!”

“Yeah?” Lip asks. When the girl nods he takes another breath before nodding, wetting his lips. “Okay.”

“Glad that’s settled.” she smiles, pulling the blond down again so their lips can meet. A sweet exchange of kisses turns into a heated makeout as Lip feels along her body, fully settling down on top of her. He slowly drags her shirt up her sides as he starts kissing along her neck, the sound of her sighing in his ear.

Lip pushes their lips back together, groaning when she pushes her hips against his grabbing her thigh with the hand that isn’t gripping the fabric of her shirt, exposing her pink bra. The two of them continue to rock against each other as he goes back to her neck, sucking on the skin and dragging it between his teeth. 

The music from downstairs fully stops and suddenly the only noises in the room are the old bed creaking lightly under their movements, their heavy breathes, and Charlotte’s intermittent whimpers.

“Lottie!” V’s voice calls from downstairs. “Come on, we’re leaving!”

Charlotte drags Lip back to her lips, kissing him deeply one more time, giggling when he mumbles against her mouth, ‘no no no, stay.’

“My daughter’s got 15 seconds to be down here before I come up there and kick your ass Gallagher!” Kev slurs, his voice booming through the house.

“If he wakes Liam up I’ll fuckin’ kill him.” Lip jokes, climbing off of Charlotte and adjusting himself before helping her off the bed.

She pats his cheek and then holds out her hand, letting him intertwine their fingers. “He means well. Am I,” she smiles sheepishly, “gonna see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, ‘course you are.” He grins. 

“Twelve! Thirteen!”

“I’m coming!” she yells, smiling at Lip one last time before leaving the room. 

Lip closes the door again, wincing when he goes to sit, looking down at his pants. “Fuck.” he grunts, grabbing his stuff to shower, pausing at the door when he hear’s Kev yell, ‘WHAT THE FUCK IS ON YOUR FUCKING NECK?!’ and deciding to just deal with his situation behind the safe, locked door of his room.

Charlotte yawns as she struggles to force herself awake, scrunching her nose up as she feels something heavy and warm on her face. “Ugh, off, have to pee.” she whines, shoving Lip’s muscled arm off of her face. The man just grumbles behind her, kicking her in her butt as she stands, chuckling lowly as she squeaks before rolling over to face the other way. “Dick.”

She rifles through his drawer before finding a pair of pajama pants she’s comfortable with stealing, pulling them on and drawing the strings tight to her waist, his shirt already drooping off of her shoulder. The girl stumbles out of the room groggily, mumbling and whining to herself about being tired, going to the bathroom and then deciding to go downstairs and help get Fiona started.

This is how she spends most of her days off recently. Either waking up in the Gallagher house or waking up with a Gallagher in her bed. It has been about 3 weeks since she and Lip had decided to be exclusive…friends. They’ve been taking things both crazily fast, and horribly slow. They talk on and off all day, spending most mornings together, and almost every night. They visit each other at work, Lip stopping by the sport’s bar whenever he can, Charlotte going to either the construction site, or the Alibi with Lip. He absolutely refuses to take her back to the college campus with him, unless college campus with him because all the guys looking at her pissed him off and frankly he was terrified of an old professor coming over and telling him what a shithead he was before he got kicked out. 

But they were going slow. Maybe too slow for Charlotte, definitely too slow for Lip. Making out became more frequent for them. Her on his lap in Kev’s car, him on top of her in his bed, rolling their hips together on the couch. But Charlotte had drawn a line in the sand. Breaking away from his embrace and panting against his lips, “I only have sex when I’m in a relationship. M’sorry.”

Lip would argue that they are in one, but when he looks down into those earnest brown eyes, he can’t help but try to please her. Kissing her temple and telling her, ‘nothing to be sorry about’ as he tries to shift into a position where his dick isn’t pushing at her. 

Charlotte hops down the stairs with light footsteps, starting the coffee before bending over and pulling out a pan to start making french toast, eggs and bacon.

“Well, good morning.” a voice slurs behind her. 

Charlotte all but leaps out of her skin, screaming and whipping around, pushing herself against the counter. “Oh shit” she gasps, “Frank! When did you get back?”

“Stop yelling, and pour me some coffee, will you?” The man grumbles. “Who do you belong to again?”

“God.” she breathes, grabbing a mug. Quick footsteps come down the stairs, Mickey turning the corner and finding Charlotte in the kitchen with a dirty, disheveled Frank.

He scowls, deeply, standing between the two, “He fuckin’ with you, princess?” 

“No.” Charlotte sighs, passing Mickey and Frank both mugs. “I didn’t mean to wake you. Did I wake Ian too?”

“Now,” Frank begins, “I thought you belonged to the red one.”

The two continue to ignore the older man, Mickey slipping into a seat and Charlotte starting to fry the bacon. “Nah, Gallaghers can sleep through anything. Dead to the world ‘til they're ready to get up. Besides, I wore his ass out.”

“Ugh, Mickey!”

“What? Thought we were bondin’ or some shit. Lip’s sleepin’ pretty soundly up there.”

Charlotte giggles to herself, placing a finished piece of bacon on the plate, huffing when Frank snatches it before stumbling into the living room. 

Before long Fiona comes tiredly, staggering in. Pointing at Frank laid out on the floor irritably and choosing to ignore him, stepping over his body and going into the kitchen. “Mornin’, Mr.  and Mrs. Gallagher, your husbands still asleep?”

Mickey simply raises his middle finger to the girl, as Charlotte passes her the first plate. “You’re just grumpy because you’re tired. Eat. Sleep. I’ll help out until you get up.”

Fiona offers her a sleepy smile, taking a bite of french toast. “You’re my favorite. Tell V I was very mean to you and tried to stop you from shacking up with my brother every other night, will you.”

“I’ll even fake cry.”

“Too much, she’ll kick my ass.”

A couple more minutes and the rest of the Gallagher children begin to filter down at the smell of food, Liam on Debbie’s hip, Ian sleepily dropping into the seat next to Mickey, the latter not even flinching as his boyfriend’s head falls onto his shoulder roughly. 

Lip goes straight toward the kitchen, wrapping his arm around Charlotte’s waist and rubbing his face against her jaw before pulling her close, “Kiss me.” he rasps, his voice still filled with sleep. 

Charlotte ignores the smug smile on his face as she pushes up on her toes, pushing their lips together and obscuring them from his family’s view with her hand, slapping Lip’s chest with the other when he squeezes her ass. 

The younger Gallagher’s (and Fiona) boo at the sound of lips smacking and Charlotte quickly goes back to cooking as Lip flips them off, grabbing the coffee she’d made him. 

Everyone starts making their plates, shuffling in and out, crowding the kitchen. The space is small and the pan was already getting really hot, so it’s no wonder bacon grease pops. Lip’s eyes shoot open at the feminine yelp, Charlotte’s whimper as she clutches her hand causes him to rush back over, grabbing her wrist to inspect her hand. “Damn it, can you guys give her some damn space? Shit.”

“Phillip-” she whines, her bottom lip wobbling, “It hurts.” 

The blond man sighs, pulling her over to the sink, “I know, I know, stop whining, bunny.” He turns on the cold water and watches her hand closely, instructing Carl to get ointment from upstairs and Debbie to tell V and Kev breakfast was ready. “Gotta be more careful.” he winces as if it’s his own hand that had been burned.

“Is it gonna leave a mark?” she asks, eyeing the small burn. 

“Nah, it’ll be okay, see?” he murmurs, pressing a kiss next to the injury. 

Charlotte’s frown stays in place but she nods as Lip pushes his thumb into her cheek. She grumbles about helping Liam get changed and Fiona get to bed before taking two of his siblings upstairs. Lip watches her go up before taking a bite out of the bacon on his plate, going to cover hers so her food would stay hot when he feels an unwanted hand land on his shoulder.

“You’re spoiling her son.”

Knocking Frank’s hand off, Lip grabs his own plate and Charlotte’s moving to the table. “Shut the hell up, Frank.”

“You keep acting like that and she’ll think this thing is permanent. You don’t want that. Girls like that have expectations, son.”

“God, stop talking, Frank.” Ian groans, pushing away from the table, putting his and Mickey’s plates in the sink and gesturing for his boyfriend to follow him upstairs. “First shower.”

Frank’s gray brows furrow. “He used to be so sweet before he started up with that thug. Believe me son, girls like that require too much maintenance. Cut your losses.”

“Maybe I know how to treat my woman, Frank.” Lip replies smugly, finishing off his coffee. “And how to get her to stick around too.” 

Frank recoils at the implication. “My Monica is way more complex than your, Lottie-”

“Thank God.”

“And-! I know women like her, they wrestle you down into the prison that is monogamy, drain your money and demand all your time in exchange for some two and a half spoiled kids, mediocre meals, and a pretty face to look at during missionary sex-”

Lip is shooting out of his seat and punching Frank in the face before his father can see him coming. He watches in disgust as Frank slumps to the floor, shaking his hand out. He turns around to see V and Kev standing in the doorway, both of them shrugging and stepping over the elderly man.

“Debbie said breakfast is ready?”

“Are you done?” 

Lip looks down to the half-smoked cigarette in his hand and sighs, flicking it to the ground and stepping on it. “Yeah, baby.”

“Kay!” she chirps, turning the corner again and smiling up at Lip expectantly. 

Lip smirks down at her, seeing her breath in the cold air as she speaks and tugging her close, grabbing the ends of her open jacket and zipping it to her neck. “Tryin’ to fuckin’ kill yourself to look cute or somethin’”

“Alan wants us to leave our jackets open when we’re out front so customers can still see our uniforms.” 

Lip clenches his jaw as he reminds himself he promised not to do anything to jeopardize her job again, even though he thinks he should take a bat to Alan’s car windows. “Yeah fuck that, he’s not gonna be the reason you get sick.” Satisfied that he’s properly bundled her up he grabs her hand and starts walking, she only gets so long for her break. “So uh…what’s this Christmas surprise you were so excited to give me?”

Charlotte grins in excitement, clutching her purse tighter with her free hand and shaking her head, dark ponytail bouncing from side to side. “You have to wait until we get to the park, I wanna fully see your reaction.”

“The park, huh? So it’s not you naked with only a bow? Because I told you not to get me anything other than that.”

She rolls her eyes, nudging his shoulder. “You got me something. And won’t let me have it until Christmas day…”

“Yeah, well I’m supposed to.” He says, “Would you still want me if I didn’t get you a Christmas present?” he jokes.

Charlotte tucks her head down a little as they cross into the park. “Yes.” she says quietly.

Lip pauses, pulling her to a stop and looking at her. I know, he thinks, leaning in and biting her cheek lightly, rolling his eyes at her dramatic ‘ow’. “Stop being so fuckin’ cute then.” 

As they sit on the bench, Charlotte’s energy shifts, she faces him, looking nervous. “Okay, so there’s a good gift, and then news you might not love.” 

“Okay.” He says, sitting and waiting patiently.

Charlotte produces two white envelopes from her purse, one with a red bow on the top and the other plain, holding them both in front of Lip. “Present” she says, waving the one with the bow, “Neutral news.” she waves the other. “Pick which one you want first.”

“Are you red pill blue pilling my ass?” he chuckles.

“What? What the hell is that?”

“Nothing baby, lemme get the bad news first. Might as well get it over with-” He pauses when she snatches the plain envelope away.

“Sorry, I got nervous. Open the good one.” she hands him the envelope with the bow, her smile returning as she watches him rip it open and two slips of paper fall out. “Tada!”

Lip turns one of the pieces of paper over, reading it closely, his eyebrows shooting up. Chicago Museum of Science and Industry. His mouth opens and closes as he tries to find the words to express how he feels, failing miserably. 

The Chicago Museum of Science. 12 years ago, a teacher had summoned Monica and Frank to the school, begging them to stimulate his brain more. They’d told them that he was incredibly bright. Genius level under the right development. That maybe he’d be less destructed if he was challenged more intellectually. That the process starts in the home. His parent’s egos had been stroked and so they were pretty fuckin’ excited to announce in the bar they had him and Fiona sleeping in that night that their son was a, in Frank’s words, ‘goddamned genius who can think circles around you drunk peons and would use his big ass brain to think them out of the hood’. They saw an ad about the museum in a newspaper outside and declared they were going to take him. Lip had been excited to say the least. They got him up, got him ready and took him to the bus stop. Where they got high, got into a fight, walked off and forgot Lip for hours. He waited and waited and waited. Fiona eventually came and got him. She rubbed his head that night, telling him it was okay to cry, Daddy wasn’t home yet to see him. Except Lip didn’t feel like crying. He was angry, at fucking Frank. At Monica. At his fucking self for thinking he was going to that stupid fucking awesome museum. It’s not like they hadn’t spent the ticket money that teacher gave them because they’d believed in him so goddamned much on drugs anyway.

Now, 12 years later, Charlotte was rewriting memories for him without even knowing. 

“I know you’re probably way more advanced in all that science-y stuff than the exhibits here, but some of it looks interesting. And before you say anything it didn’t cost a lot and I already got Kev to agree to let us use his car but you have to drive because for some reason he doesn’t trust me to and I have to work a couple shifts at The Alibi for free but that’s okay-”

I love you.

Lip’s eyes widen in panic as that thought goes through his mind. He can’t…that’s not…he can’t think that. Not yet.

He immediately tries to distract himself, pulling Charlotte into a deep kiss that only makes the thought swirl in his mind on repeat. When he finally lets her catch her breath, he cups her cheeks again, looking at her intensely. “Thank you, bunny. I love…I love it.”

She smiles widely at him, her cheeks still mushed in his hands, “We’re going at the end of the week. It’s gonna be so fun, Phillip.”

“Yeah it fuckin’ is, shit, I gotta get another brochure so we can see the cool shit.”

“Aw, you’re such a planner.” she teases, squeaking when he pulls her legs over his lap and tugs her closer. 

“Okay, now gimme the other one.” he says, a small smile still on his face.

Charlotte bites her lip, clutching the other envelope. “It’s gonna kill the mood.”

“I thought you said it’s neutral news.”

“It’s good but bad, but not that bad. Hey-” Charlotte tries to snatch the envelope back as Lip snatches it, turning away and blocking her hands as she tries to grab it back. “Phillip-”

“Might as well get it over with.” he says, tearing at the paper, pulling out another folded piece of paper. “You better not have gotten me anything else.” Lip laughs, unfolding the paper and beginning to read. Charlotte shifts uncomfortably under the silence.

“Phillip?” she tries, leaning forward trying to catch his eyes, but they’re glued to the paper. “Phillip.”

“It’s uh,” he clears his throat, reading the paper again as if it was the most complex reading he’s ever done. “A plane ticket to Virginia.”

“Yeah, but see, it’s set after when we’ll go to the museum.”

“Yeah almost right fuckin’ after.” hurt fills his blue eyes as he shakes his head in disbelief.  Charlotte’s stomach clenches at the look on his face. 

“Kev and V helped me pay for the rest of it. I’m gonna get to see my parents.” she says in a small voice.

“Okay,” he says incredulously. “But why is it a fucking one-way?”

[ad-astrah]

Cinderella's Castle Digital Ticket Reactions (Part III)

"GOOD. Good. Good. good. goo--*sobs.*"

Starkid does one little concert in London and suddenly EVERYBODY'S got a British accent. lol I'm just joking. They work here with the setting of the show and as a way to differentiate characters. And I think it was smart of them to only use the accents for minor characters that only briefly appear.

"because your labor pained me and I swore that I'd get you back and...well, that time has come." Honestly, she's a real one for that. Also that line delivery was so perfect. Angela's comedic timing is so good.

I was actually rooting for Rancilda, though. The blowjob jokes that she and the prince could've shared...

"fits like a glove." "It's a shoe, stupid!" "IT'S AN EXPRESSION, DUMBASS."

Again, I just love how stupid and wildly different and fun Mariah's character is in this show! Love seeing her range.

🎶LA LA LALA LA LA LA LALA🎶

Tadius gettin' the fuq outta there. He knows shit's goin' down.

THE CUT TO STEPMOTHER AND RANCILDA IN THE AUDIENCE.

Tadius' face during these vows. Gives me Chris Pine sitting through an interview with Harry Styles vibes.

Boooo. BOOOOOO

EAT YOUR HEART OUT, RANCILDA.

HISSSSSSSSSS

When Ella came back I was like: WELCOME BACK, QUEEN. SLAY.

THE HAIR. THE ROBES. THE LONG SLEEVES. This is so fuckin' dope.

I DON'T WANNA LIVE YOUR DREAM ANYMORE, MOM. I LIKE RIDDLES...I'M GOIN' BACK TO THE BRIIIIIIIDGEEEE. YEAAAHH!" Honestly, I love that for her. Go live your dream, Rancilda!

How did the outfit get MORE. DOPE. YASSSSS ELLA. WERK BITCH. This chainmail-like look literally and figuratively KILLS.

And thus Winnifred Sanderson the Stepmother dies.

Tadius just casually admitting to regicide.

"Who knows! I wasn't there." Biiiitch.

Queen Putrice. lol gurl was queen for like 5 minutes.

I thought he was proposing for a hot sec there. And as good of a power couple I think they'd make, they ain't ready for that yet. They got boatlads of fuckin' trauma to unpack and I'm pretty sure neither of them have ever been in a relationship before lol. They gotta take that ish slow.

Wasn't quite expecting an 80s gospel ballad but it makes sense and it works. Especially with Bryce's powerful, soulful voice. Gimme that power ballad gilrboss vibe.

Yo, listen to how GOOD Jon Matteson sounds! And whilst using a character voice, too! Proud of you, boo. He's come such a long way since GWDLM.

SING IT BRYCE. FUCK YES. HOT DAMN.

Jeff working the crowd like the attention whore he is and we love him for that.

Jeff's falsetto is insane!

I'm wondering if Ella's wardrobe was all green as a reference to her mother's dancing and praying in the forest in front of that tree and to the Fairy Queen herself? I feel like it's symbolic and not just a "Bryce looks good in green, so let's make her entire wardrobe green" thing. Although she DOES look good in green.

Another brilliant, hilarious, incredible show from Team Starkid. I cannot WAIT until the Youtube edition comes out and all Starkid fans can watch it over and over as much as we want and soak up every little detail and joke and make all the memes. I know they'll never see a post from lil ole me, but THANK YOU, TEAM STARKID, for making my days brighter, my heart lighter, my laughter louder, and my smile wider.

[fruitbasketball]

wnba recap 6/27

holy FUCK bro what a fucking day i know i’m late but let’s get into it

minnesota lynx vs. dallas wings

there is genuinely no world in which the wings should have won this game. none at all. rike shot 8-17 and that’s GOOD for her. mccowan had a double double, solid work, but everyone should really be thanking odyssey sims. everyone say thank you!!! say thank you kim mulkey!!!

yeah y’all should’ve left courtney williams in chicago if she was just gonna win the cup and then pull this shit. 1-6? lord we got klay thompson himself in the w. lynx bench is really just zero help like poor phee put the team on her back against dallas and it just didn’t pan out.

connecticut sun vs. washington mystics

the fact that this game even went to overtime… connecticut you are in trouuuubleeee! i thought it was gonna go to DOUBLE too. shout out shatori walker-kimbrough because miss girl was automatic until she had to hit that clutch 3 😭😭 nah i’m playing but lord help poor aaliyah edwards. this girl was never injured in college and missing this many games. THEN she gets to washington and her teammates are injured or running furniture stores, and her own back is out. my poor husky i’m so sorry baby

now ms. alyssa thomas. 1-5?? 7 points??? 37 MINUTES????? lord give me strength this team is gonna piss me off thank god she got 8 boards bc why the fuck else are you on the floor. dijonai 4-9 from 3 tho thank you good god. since no one else on that damn team could hit a 3. what do you MEAN 2-9?? db bro??? jesus christ.

las vegas aces vs. chicago sky

AYEEEE SEC LINKUPPPPP IK Y’ALL SEE DAT ‼️‼️ we got the bayou barbie, killa kamilla, and the m’vp herself going head to head to head

dawn staley not too happy about her girl blocking her girl but it’s all love <3 HELLOOOOOO A’JA WILSON 30 PIECE! HELLOOOO ANGEL 9TH STRAIGHT DOUBLE DOUBLE. I GOT MY MVP. I GOT MY ROTY. THIS IS GOOD FUCKING TELEVISION THANK YEWWWW ‼️‼️‼️‼️

in other news… the 3 points from kysre explains some… other events that transpired maybe

indiana fever vs. seattle storm

YEEEEEAAAAHHH GIVE IT TO EM GOLD MAMBA. GIMME THAT SHIT. i love jewell loyd so fucking much idc. i literally LOVE her.

34 points???? on 10-15??? with one eye??? yeah. YEAH.

kristy wallace get out the fuckin league bro. 18 whole minutes and you couldn’t contribute a single bucket. what are we doing here guys??? why is christie sides’ head so far up her own ass??

caitlin clark - great efficiency from the field. good shot selection.

nneka double double, sds what the fuck, sami whitcomb i just feel like you should be playing soccer and idk why, nika… played for 1 whole minute!

anyway seattle absolutely clobbers the fever in a somewhat rare occasion of having their shit together so that was like really good!

[wisteria-cherry]

forty days and forty nights (day fourteen!)

(two weeks woah)

(and don’t forget to comment!! i love interacting with u guys, it makes me day :))

the outing with mina went exceedingly well. there was never a lack of conversation, and it turned out that both of you enjoyed each other’s company. of course, it was hard not to enjoy mina’s company— her energy was contagious.

you told her about how bakugo had come into the shop injured (“who does that?!”) and she’d laughed, seemingly curious. she then told you that he prioritized self care because he knew he couldn’t be a hero if he was injured, and she too found it off that he came into the store before getting treated. the two of you couldn’t find a reason as to why he did such a thing (although mina insisted it’s because he liked you).

you were still pondering this when the familiar sound of the bells startled you out of your thoughts. you frowned. it was bakugo.

“shouldn’t you be at home, getting rest?” your brow furrowed. “you’re still hurt, y’know.”

“i wanted coffee.” bakugo grunted.

“i oughta not sell you anything.” you huff. “and make you go home and rest.”

“i’m fine, dumbass.” bakugo rolled his eyes. “fuckin’ drama queen.”

“fine.” you exhale. “medium black coffee.”

“finally.”

minutes later, when you give him his coffee, you decide to ask one more time, just to make sure.

“…are you sure you’re ok-“

“yes, i’m fine, holy shit.” bakugo interrupted. “piss off already.”

“oh. okay.” you chewed on your lip anxiously.

“…”

“are you-“

“yes.”

“okay.” you take a deep breath. “well… how was work?”

“didn’t work today.” bakugo grunted. “shitty doctors wanted me to rest.”

“and you still came here?” you arch an eyebrow.

“drinking coffee ain’t the same as beating the shit out of villains.” bakugo scoffed. “in case you haven’t noticed.”

“i guess that’s fair.” you agree reluctantly.

“the hell’re you so worried for, anyway?” bakugo glared.

“you’re my friend.” you shrug. “and you’re hurt. not a good mix.”

“tch. worrywart.” he rolled his eyes.

“it’s for good reason.”

“whatever.”

the two of you fell into silence. however, you were beginning to notice something— the silence, at least in your eyes, was more comfortable than it once was. the sort of silence between two people content with simply being in one another’s presence.

but there was still a little bit of awkwardness.

“tell me about the villain.” you prompt. “that did this.” bakugo blinked.

“what, you think you’re gonna go beat ‘im up?” bakugo snorted. “in your dreams, dumbass.”

“i’m just curious is all.” you laugh. “i don’t do violence, trust me.”

“‘course you don’t. you work at a coffee shop.” bakugo scoffed. “i’d take you down in less than a second.”

“sure.” you agree skeptically.

“don’t gimme that shit!” bakugo roared. “i can and i will! fight me, right now! i’ll kill you!”

“if you kill me,” you remind him calmly, “i can’t make your coffee.”

“i’ll just—“ bakugo angrily and frantically looked for an alternative, taken aback by your retaliation. “—have someone else do it! you’re not the only damn employee!”

“i’m your favorite.” you joke lightheartedly. bakugo only tches.

“whatever. you’re off the hook. for now.” he grumbled.

“good to hear.” you pause for a moment. “hey, bakugo.”

“what?”

“don’t come in hurt like that again.” you say. you pause again. that sounded kind of rude. “please.” yeah, good save.

“i’m not even that hurt.” bakugo scowled.

“i should’ve called an ambulance.”

“quit overreacting, geez. i don’t need a goddamn ambulance.” he rolled his eyes.

“fine.” you huff. “but if that happens again—“

“it won’t, god!”

“…promise?” you ask quietly. yes, you joked about it, but it really had been a scare to see him like that. bakugo seemed to pick up on that, and he sighed.

“yeah, yeah, promise.” he relented.

“thanks.”

“so…” you speak after a brief moment of quiet. “when do you go back to work?”

“tomorrow.” he answered sourly. “i wanted to work today, but the fuckers wouldn’t let me.”

“really?” you grin. “bakugo, are you a workaholic?”

“no.” bakugo tched. “i just work hard. i can take breaks when i need to, dumbass.”

“like the party.” you confirmed.

“yeah, that.” bakugo snorted. “didn’t even wanna go to the stupid thing.”

“then why did you?” you blink.

“already told ya. none of your damn business.”

“right, right, secrets.” you grin. “so mysterious.”

“whatever. i’m allowed to have secrets, dumbass.” bakugo glared, to which you only smiled.

“i know you are.” you reassured him. “but i think it’s funny that such a trivial question gets you all defensive.”

“i’m not defensive!” bakugo snapped (defensively). “you’re just nosy as fuck!”

“sorry!” you laugh. “i’m just curious!”

“you’re a dumbass, you know that?” bakugo rolled his eyes.

“only for you.” you tease, to which bakugo only huffed. “hey, you never did tell me about that villain.”

“tch. if it’ll get you off my back about the damn party, then fine.” he agreed reluctantly. “his quirk had something to do with blades. tons of ‘em, kinda like whips. pain in the ass to dodge.”

“that sounds scary.” you remark.

“scary?” bakugo looked up from his coffee to meet your gaze. “i wasn’t scared.”

“you weren’t?” it was impressive. you already knew that if you encountered someone like that, you’d be shaking.

“naw. it was nothing.” bakugo looked back to his coffee. “‘sides, that was one of the first things we learned at ua. fear’s a luxury pros can’t afford, or some shit.”

“fear is a luxury.” you repeat, pondering it for a moment. “i’ve never thought of it that way.”

“‘course you haven’t. you’re a civilian. you get to be scared ‘cuz you’ve got heroes to protect ya.” bakugo grunted. “i’m one of the protectors. i’m the protector.”

“that’s.. kind of sad,” you admit. “not being allowed to be scared.” bakugo snorted.

“like hell i’m scared.” bakugo smirked. “villains don’t scare me.”

“what does scare you, then?” you lean on the counter curiously. bakugo seemed to do a double-take.

“the hell d’you mean?” he asked, brow furrowed.

“what’re you scared of?” you shrug.

“that’s not your business either.” bakugo narrowed his eyes as he gripped the handle of his coffee mug tighter, promptly closing himself off. you figured this was fair. it’d only been two weeks since you met, obviously there are going to be boundaries.

“right, my bad.” you smile. “if it helps for anything, i’m scared of spiders.”

“spiders?” bakugo gave you a look of pure scorn. “they’re tiny. why the hell would you be afraid of them?”

“they’re creepy.” you huff. “with all their legs and eyes.”

“yeah, sounds terrifying.” bakugo smirked. he was mocking you. the nerve.

“hey, don’t mock me!” you pout. “that’s not fair. at least i’m sharing.”

“i don’t have to share if i don’t want to.” bakugo flipped you off. you, being the bigger person and more mature of the two stuck your tongue out at him.

“what’re you, a kid?” bakugo snickered.

“no, i’m offended by your crude obscenities.” you inform him.

“yeah, well, get used to it.” bakugo now flipped you off with both hands for good measure.

“i oughta kick you out. the customers will be horrified.” you tease.

“you won’t.” bakugo grinned maliciously. “you’re lucky to have me at this place.” you roll your eyes.

“you’re so humble, bakugo,” you tell him sarcastically.

“i don’t need to be humble. i’m the goddamn best.” his insufferable smirk widened.

“i should’ve known.” you sigh dramatically. “what have i gotten myself into.”

“buckle up.” bakugo grinned viciously. “you’re with the pros now. no goin’ back.”

“in your dreams, dumbass.”

tags: @k0z3me @cherryblossomclarity

[faggotmox]

Well damn, now I want to see line cook Eddie in a dive dinner who’s crusty to everyone but who also adds extra food when he sees a messy skinny teen/young adult alone.

yeah i got this & wrote a little thing bc i love line cook eddie being a told bitch but also the best guy ever. so crusty diner au with eddie & mox under the cut, guest staring ruby. eddie kingston may have been an iron worker for real but he has the soul of a line cook baby.

"Eddie!" Ruby called out to the line cook standing half in the rain out the backdoor. "I'm off. You sure you're good to run the joint alone?"

"Yeah, yeah." Eddie stepped back into the diner without putting out his cigarette. "It's two twenty in the morning. I'll be fine until Willow gets here at 5." Ruby grimaced at the mention of one of her least favorite coworkers. To be honest, Ruby only really liked Eddie.

"I don't like leaving you here all to yourself. You might burn the place down." Ruby pulled her hood up.

"Nah. I'll just break the health codes. Go on, and get, kid. You've got classes tomorrow, huh?" Eddie gave her a look. "You always stall when you have classes tomorrow."

"Shut up. Gimme a hug before I leave?" Ruby walked through the kitchen to give the cook his nightly goodbye hug. "I locked the far door. Only one register is up. New coffee brewed, and your prep is done. Don't need a new pack or anything before I leave?"

"Stop." Eddie groaned, not about the hug but Ruby's constant need to help him out. "Go home, Ru. Get some rest. I'll text you when I'm off."

"Fine." Ruby stared him down for a moment before reaching into her backpack to pull out a fresh pack of cigarettes for Eddie anyways. "You're my big brother. I got to make sure you're taken care of too."

"Thanks, Ru." Eddie took the offered pack with a smile. He had been nearly out.

Most nights in their small crusty diner weren't busy. They catered to overnight workers, and all night college students. It was the first few days back from a school break so business hand't picked back up. Their few regulars at this time were out of town or cutting back expenses leaving Eddie with hours of nothing in the middle of the night. Plus the storm. At least it meant his supporting staff could fuck off, and he could smoke weed in the store instead of the rain.

Ten minutes after Ruby left Eddie laid down on the diner's bar top, his hoodie bunched up under his head and one of his Tims resting on the spinning bar stool. The diner had a Bluetooth stereo that Eddie would hijack to play something enjoyable.

The diner door rang about halfway through Eddie's blunt, making him sit up way too quick for his bad back. The door opening let in the loud thunder and heavy sound of rain, Eddie couldn't believe someone was out in the storm. Let alone this skinny kid in a huge Carhartt jacket.

"Y'all open?" The kid started at Eddie, half sat up on the counter and blunt still in his mouth.

"Well," Eddie sighed as he started to get down. "I guess we fuckin' are."

"Sorry." The kid's voice was raspy and quiet, but deep. When he lowered his hood Eddie took in the messy mop of strawberry blonde hair sticking to his forehead. "Don't have to put that out for me though."

"Don't worry about it." Eddie shrugged. "What're you havin'?"

"Ain't you the line cook?" The blue eyes sized Eddie up. "You a waiter too?"

"I let the others get home before the storm was too bad. What're you gonna have?" Eddie pushed the menu across the counter top. The kid looked at the menu awkwardly before speaking up.

"Just coffee." He shrugged, sitting down across from Eddie.

"You came out in a storm to get coffee. Fuckin' alright." Eddie shook his head as he started serving up the coffee. The blunt was put on the saucer with the cup and slid over to the kid. "Gotta name?"

"Just like coffee." The intense blue eyes flickered over to Eddie before picking up the blunt. "Mox."

"Mox. Alright." Eddie grabbed an apron from under the counter and tossed it at Mox. "I gotta go do some shit in the back. Anyone else come in and serve them some coffee and shout for me."

"The fuck?" Mox frowned as he caught the apron. "Serious?" But he got no answer as Eddie went into the back.

Almost everything in the kitchen was turned off except one grill top and fryer that were on low. The kid wasn't too old, and if he was walking into this shit hole in the middle of a storm it meant he didn't have anywhere to go to keep safe.

A lot of folks that had nowhere to go ended up in the diner. This kid Mox probably couldn't even pay for his coffee. It didn't take long for him to get a double burger with cheese and fries going. Every so often Eddie peaked out the window to see the kid just napping on the counter top. Eddie was an asshole but he was also a big softy.

"Ay yo, no sleeping on the job, kid!" Eddie shouted as he came out of the double doors to set the burger down in front of him.

"Uh..." Mox sat up, his eyes on the food with a deep frown. "I didn't want nothin'." He said defensively.

"Nah? Well, I guess I just gotta toss this out, huh?" Eddie went to take the plate back but Mox grabbed his hand. "You don't gotta pay for it, kid. It's on the house for curing my boredom."

"Sure?" Mox looked untrusting but was pulling the plate closer to him. "No one gives me food."

"I ain't no one. I'm Eddie." He snatched the last of the blunt back from Mox. "Eat before I steal it from you. Wanna cigarette?"

[fullstcp]

"Positions" by Ariana Grande Sentence Starters

shut up

"Guess it fuckin' just clicked one night."

"All them demons helped me see shit differently."

"Don't be sad for me."

"How you been spending your time?"

"You know you sound so dumb."

"Maybe you should shut up."

34+35

"You might think I'm crazy."

"Just gimme them babies."

"What you doin' tonight?"

"I don't wanna keep you up."

"Maybe I'ma keep you up."

"Can you stay up all night?"

"We started at midnight."

"Go 'til the sunrise."

"You're such a dream come true."

motive

"Tell me why I get this feeling that you really wanna make me yours."

"Before I lead you on, tell me, what's your motive?"

"I could call bullshit out from a mile away."

"Say what you mean 'cause you might get it."

"Tell me everything that's on your mind."

just like magic

"I just wanna have a good day."

"Keep my conscience clear, that's why I'm so magnetic."

"I get everything I want 'cause I attract it."

"Gotta keep a slim ego for a thick wallet."

"I don't wanna waste your time on some dumb shit."

"You can miss me with that shit."

off the table

"Will I ever love the same way again?"

"Will I ever love somebody like the way I did you?"

"Never thought you'd be so damn hard to replace."

"If I can't have you, is love completely off the table?"

"Do I sit this one out and wait for the next life?"

"Will you be there?"

"Can I still love you?"

"I'll wait for you."

"I'm ready to give you what I couldn't before."

"Let me help you through it."

"I can love you harder than I did before."

"I couldn't give you my all, but I will."

"I don't think that love's completely off the table."

"Can you hold me?"

"If I let you, can you prove it to me?"

"It's gonna be hard to let someone else in again."

six thirty

"I know I be on some bullshit."

"I know I be driving you crazy."

"You can only stay mad for a minute."

"Come here and give me some kisses."

"You know I'm very impatient."

"Might change my mind, so don't keep me waiting."

"I just wonder if you're gonna stay."

"I know that's just 'cause you love me."

"You ain't scared to show me your ugly."

"Maybe that's just how it's supposed to be."

"What if I need a friend?"

"Will you ride 'til the end?"

"Am I enough to keep your love?"

"When I'm old and stuff, will you still have a crush?"

safety net

"You know you're really something."

"How we get here so damn fast?"

"You're making me forget my past."

"I've never been this scared before."

"Is this real this time or is it in my head?"

"You know we came too far now."

"It's time for you to play your part now."

my hair

"Don't you be scared."

"Come run your hands through my hair."

"It's been way long overdue."

"Tonight, you get a pass."

"This ain't usually me."

nasty

"You got me all up in my feels in all kind of ways."

"I just wanna make time for ya."

"You're like a whole constellation."

"Promise I'm still gonna love you when you wake up in the AM."

west side

"I don't wanna think too much."

"You know it ain't no rush."

"Just let me be in your life like that."

"I'm gonna be your new favorite."

"I don't want it if it ain't your touch."

"We got all we need right here."

love language

"Been a minute since I had something so sweet."

"If you're gonna keep speaking my love language, you can talk your shit all night."

"You're the medication when I'm feeling anxious."

"Teach me how to love you, I'm unlearning what ain't right."

"Never lost in translation, cause you know what I want."

"I'm not what you had before."

"I ain't tryna sign no lease, I'm just gonna make you my home."

positions

"Heaven sent you to me."

"I'm just hoping I don't repeat history."

"Know my love's infinite, there's nothing I wouldn't do."

"You're too good to be true."

"This some shit that I usually don't do, but for you I kinda want to."

"You're down for me and I'm down too."

obvious

"Makes me wanna believe in love."

"The way you feel, something about it's healing."

"I'm praying we don't fuck this up."

"I knew you were the real thing when you walked through the door."

"AIn't no price on my loyalty."

"Could I be more obvious?"

"If you gotta work, just promise me you'll come back soon."

"Maybe you should back a suitcase too."

"I love the thought of you never leaving."

"Never thought I'd believe in love again."

pov

"It's like you got superpowers."

"You know me better than I do."

"Can't seem to keep nothing from you."

"I wanna love me the way that you love me."

"I'd love to see me from your point of view."

"I wanna trust me the way that you trust me."

"Nobody ever loved me like you do."

"I'm getting used to receiving."

"Still getting good at not leaving."

"I'ma love you even though I'm scared."

"I won't keep you waiting."

someone like u

"I've been waiting for someone like you."

"Please don't be too good to be true."

test drive

"Ain't looking back unless it's right at you."

"I will never leave from by your side."

"Don't you know you got a ride or die?"

"You should know I'm always in control."

"I'm sold on you."

"You know I'm yours."

worst behavior

"I've been on my worst behavior."

"I don't need no savior."

"I'm way outta line."

"I kind of like the way I feel when I just don't give a fuck."

"We don't really need to talk too much."

"This love just ain't disposable."

main thing

"You never keep me waiting."

"I adore you."

"All I wanna do is spend my time with you."

[thekinkyleopard]

Snzfire of Hostility

A Non-Canon Snz Series featuring; AlxKoxNai

Part 1 of ?

⚠️Content Warning⚠️

Bullying, Sexual Harassment, Cursing, Snz Fet

Description: Draeko is the fresh meat at College, new in town, and at first the jocks Alistar and Kanai, don’t find much interest in him. Until they find out he’s rather a little factory of entertainment and fetish gold. What will become of them all?

Author’s Notes: I suck at descriptions w/e it’s gonna be good I promise! I can’t believe an Idea I had for Remi x Levi was best suited for y’all as an AlxKoxNai series 😭😂 you right tho….it would be better to see Al bully tf outta Drae >:) @aller-geez made the cover art and owns Draeko as well as Kanai!

“Down the hall to the right, out that door, across the atrium, building G, that’s where your first class is….from there ask your professor where your next class is,” the director spoke with a less than amused tone in his voice as the mint and pink haired male nodded swiftly.

“Yes, thank you!” Quickly he made haste, practically tripping over his own feet to avoid being too late and making a spectacle of himself upon entering the classroom. He skittered his way down the hall and out the door in order to reach the desired building. He witnessed the last person trickle through the door barely squeezing to a shut when Draeko caught hold of it, and swung open the door creeping inside, undetected by the other students as everyone was trying to cram into their seats. He took a deep breath and made his way to the front row. If he was going to finally take life seriously, be apart of society, he was going to get a good head start by sitting up front. This way he could retain information and hopefully stay focused.

The mutt slapped his bag down onto the ground and he slipped into his seat comfortably trying to avoid looking at anyone and making any sort of eye contact.

“Hey dude, you got an extra fuckin’ pencil?” the brightly colored male heard behind him, but not directed at him. He tuned in.

“Did you not bring a pencil, Donnie?” He heard a second, lighter but still deep voice answer the first back. Which then was followed by an agitated sounding scoff.

“Dude…don’t gimme a god damn lecture, do you have an extra pencil or NOT?” There was a sound of shuffling and unzipping as one could only assume the person being asked was at least actively looking to solve the other’s ailing needs.

“I do not,” the man responded gently after a few minutes of rustling went nowhere.

“Tch, useless,” A loud nasally sigh could be heard from behind Draeko, and before long a throat clearing itself.

“Hey kid,” now this, this sounded a lot more like it was being addressed to him this time. Drae’s body perked up, and slowly he turned his body to face the voice that had beckoned him.

“M-me?” He asked nervously, a very gentle pink hue spreading across his gentle cheeks.

“Yeah? Who the fuck else? You got an extra pencil ?” The red head looked him up and down, he seemed less than interested as he was only hoping for the solution to his ever continuing pencilless problem.

“I have mechanical or regular,” making quick work, the hybrid began to shuffle through his pencil box, pulling out two different writing utensils to present the red eyed student with.

“Shit kid you got options ?? Shoot me a mechanical…can I keep it?” Almost grinning ear to ear, he hadn’t really even expected the other to help him out let alone give him two choices, one being an elite choice.

“Sure,” the pastel colored male shrugged his shoulders and carelessly waved his hand about to emphasize it wasn’t a big deal, hand outstretched to hand him the writing instrument.

“Sweet, thanks,” the larger just barely lifted himself from his seat in order to take the pencil within his fingers and sat back down to examine it. Draeko, taking this time to nod and return to facing the front of the class.

It was then when the professor took her entrance upon the classroom and put her briefcase down onto her desk halfway across the room. “Good morning class! We have a new student today joining our class for the rest of the semester! Draeko Grey,” stepping over to his desk and showcasing him, the hybrid sinking where he sat, embarrassed by all the attention. “Anyway, make sure to make Draeko here feel welcome and don’t be rude to him,” she put her hand on his desk, and as she walked past him swiftly, the male caught a ticklish scent that slapped him in the face. It was almost instant the second it touched the vibrissae of his nostrils. “Hh’NDKT’ih!! K’GNSH’iiew!!” Sudden spurts of saliva came spewing from behind his lips dusting the desk underneath him. His throat itching as the scent of his Professor’s perfume suffocated him.

The red head behind him, was baring daggers into the back of his head. He leaned over and nudged his grey and navy colored friend. “You hear that?”

“Hm?” The friend responded almost disinterested, unknowing to why his buddy was bothering him in the first place.

“Did you hear /that/?” He asked pointing to the back of the mint and pink colored male that was audibly snuffling and snarfing, rubbing his nose across his jacket sleeve.

“Yes and?” he furrowed his brows and looked curiously over at his red headed mate.

“God you’re so unimaginative….” He raised his hand quickly as his ruby reds rolled with irritation.

“Yes Mr Satanos?” The educator paused from what she had been saying to acknowledge the man with his arm raised.

“Yeah can you come take a look at this part of my homework? Just want to make sure I did it right,” he did. He knew he did. Kanai did their homework for them so he of course knew that it wouldn’t be less than perfect. Yet, he needed to test a theory out.

“Can’t it wait Al?” She sighed almost to give Drae the impression the red head sitting behind him was a regular problem in this class.

“Look, If you don’t care whether I learn or fail, I suppose I don’t either,” tossing his hands up and slumping lazily back into his chair. She sighed, having been successfully manipulated, she started to close the distance between herself and the student that beckoned her. Slowly she crossed passed the new student and within seconds after she already walked by, the mutt was back at it. His nostrils tightening up, filling with mucus and the ticklish urge to spew outward.

“Hihh’GXXTsh’iiew!!” This time the loud kitten like sneeze made the educator nervous, turning around. Facing him, as the small student did his best to keep his mess to a minimum at best.

“Are you okay Mr Grey?” She asked nervously, hoping the new kid wasn’t waltzing in with a fresh virus and ready to spread it throughout the school.

“I- H’h…think it’s …Hh’…H’GXTSH!” He turned his head sharply to make sure he caught it in the crook of his arm instead of rudely onto his teacher. “Your perfume…Ma’am…H’KGXNT!” he whimpered, trying to stifle another into the palms of his hands. After getting himself more or less grounded, he began grabbing his backpack and quickly digging through it for a pack of tissues. Meanwhile the perpetrator to all this, grinning ear to ear.

“Bless you,” he licked his lips once over, sparkling darkened eyes while his heart raced at a million miles per minute. Fixated. The other, more stoic and silent male looking over at him with a raised brow and back at the mutt in front of them and back at his best friend. 

“Why are you asking for the teacher’s help? You had my help…I’m never wrong?” The Navy haired man sounded almost offended by the other’s response to ask for a homework check. How dare he?

“Shhhhutthefuckup,” The crimson eyed man growled low in his throat, quickly in one swift sentence in hopes the educator wouldn’t catch on to his antics.

“Shoot, I’m terribly sorry Draeko! I’ll make sure I don’t wear this scent again…” she shook her head, feeling absolutely terrible that her first time in her long career of teaching, she’d triggered a student with her perfume.

“T-thank y— K’GNSH’iiew!! You….” He sighed deeply after his face exploded with another kitten sneeze that echoed the whispering students. You could hear the congestion behind it as he only felt worse in each passing second. Drae was embarrassed beyond belief, his face bright red as he wished he could simply stick his head into the ground. Nostrils chapped from rubbing at them so roughly to rid his face of evidence.

“Bless you, Drae…anyways, Al, what is it?” She turned back around, unable to help out the student as of current and she could only juggle so much.

“Oh, uh nothing actually….Kanai took a look and he reassured me, everything was fine,” he grinned up at her, toothy and proud. She almost wanted to reach across the desk and strangle him with her own two bare hands.

“You’re such a-….” She bit her tongue , the professor stood straight, simply fixed her shirt and walked back to her desk. Unfortunately, having to waft another cloud of that horrendous odor that made the mutt’s throat itch. The red head snickered sadistically as he elbowed the one called, Kanai.

Drae was desperate to get his sinuses under control, but the lingering assaulting scent stubbornly gripped to the insides of his nasal walls. “H’..Ee.. ehh’Gxxtchh’iew!! ‘gNSH!” shoveling his face into the crook of his elbow he snuffled gently, his kittenish sounds drawing more and more attention to himself through the two mischievous men behind him. He heard them chuckling and whispering…he knew it was about him. He was flat out embarrassed that he couldn’t get a hold of himself.

“Mr. Grey would you like to step out for a moment?” The shit eating fire starter, rapidly raising his hand.

“Might I show the poor soul to the bathroom, Prof?” Drae turned around, with the end of his sleeve rubbing circles at his terribly afflicted nose. What was this guy’s angle? He had essentially made that woman walk by him in the first place…why was he helping now? He didn’t trust it, or him, for a second but, he wouldn’t be able to go to the restroom and find his way back WITHOUT help. He was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

“If that’s okay with him, I don’t care what you do, Alistar,” ah, so that was the red head’s name. The mutt made note before nodding with his hand covering his leaking nose, voice muffled behind fabric.

“S’okay,” nodding his head before standing up, Al quickly following suit as he was first to start making the journey to the door.

“Come on pipsqueak, let’s get you cleaned up,” he flung a quick, strange glance at his stoic, unreadable navy haired friend, who simply nodded. Almost out of respect. Shortly after they were alone behind the door of their classroom and all the silence filled them. The only sounds were the echoing thud of Alistar’s leather clad boots, and the chains from his jeans jingling amongst each other. Drae took the time to get a good look at him, at least from behind and the side as much as he could. His hair was long, dark crimson, in a low ponytail…it looked like silk to him, he just wanted to reach out and touch it. He was weirdly beautiful despite the tattoos under his eyes. Almost added to the appeal one could say.

He didn’t say a word as they silently walked to the restroom. Once they arrived the clinking stopped, the thuds quieted and before the mutt could have a chance to register, he slammed into the back of the taller man, stammering backwards with an audible “oof— my bad…” Draeko chuckled nervously trying to gain some footing.

Slowly, the 6 foot classmate turned around and with a swift grab of the smaller’s hoodie collar, dragged them both inside the bathroom and slammed the other up against the entrance door. “Your bad indeed, look at you,” he took his index finger and roughly shoveled it up under Draeko’s dribbling nostrils, wiping the snot across his digit and wiping it carelessly across the front of the smaller student’s hoodie.

“Hey!” The mint and pink haired male’s eyebrows furrowed, his mint and grey colored eyes glaring daggers up at the other’s very intimating, yet expressionless face.

“Quiet,” Alistar barked, his voice booming with authority, it almost made Draeko melt like a puddle under the man’s grip. He would be lying if he said the crimson themed man wasn’t hotter than all hell as he pushed his dominance upon him. However, this was absurd! He barely knew this man! “I want more,” licking his thin, pierced lips, sucking inward and chewing on one of the long spikes there.

“I- I don’t have any left!” He stuttered pathetically, almost whining at the man with a panicked nature. His eyes scanned Al’s face for a sign of mercy anywhere on it. There wasn’t one.

“Bullshit, I know you can,” lifting his upper lip with impatient agitation he stepped closer into the smaller, his knee in between Draeko’s trembling legs.

“Seriously, I can’t! Let go of me and l-leave me alone you weirdo!” The mutt tried wiggling his way from under Al, but the man only shoved his hand against the mutt’s throat, to hold him in place against the door.

“No, actually I won’t leave you alone, what a stupid fuckin expectation to have of someone like me,” he scoffed with a loud psh that flung a few droplets of spit at Drae’s panicked features.

“What are you—“ when suddenly he found Al pulling out a few strands of his hair with a free hand, Draeko winced as the feeling of plucked strands left his head itchy, he frowned.

“Whatever I want,” Alistar answered before he was dragging the now lose strands of hair across the smaller’s sensitive nostrils, causing the hybrid to hitch, trying his best to swallow his breath. The red head narrowed his thin brows and squinted while moving in a few more inches, leaving no space between them. “Give in you stubborn little shit,” hissing behind gritting and grinding rows of teeth.

Draeko’s legs buckled underneath him as he trembled to keep himself from obeying, he didn’t want a stranger having complete power of him! That would be absurd! …and yet he couldn’t seem to keep it down as the thin hairs tortured his nose. “P-please…” he whimpered weakly, his watering eyes crossed as they looked between at the assault going on. “Ihh’gxxnt’iiew!!” He blew across Al’s tickling fingers, and his closed in face, taking the older student by surprise, but he grinned non the less. Licking the wet spots that had touch around his mouth.

“That’s so fucking good…” he groaned, low, animalistic and husky, the red head’s voice almost like a soft silk across one’s ear drums.

“Pl-please stop…class is..g-gonna end,” tears fell through the squeezed flesh of Drae’s crying, squinting eyes. He couldn’t control his facilities and he certainly couldn’t stop himself from giving into the red head’s motions.

“One more..” Al licked his lips predatorily, releasing his grip on the mutt’s neck, certain there was nothing he could do to escape this position anyway. He brushed his palm up against his cheek.

“I—“ Still protesting against Alistar’s movements, he twitched, and his head moved to avoid the other’s gentle caress.

“ONE. More.” This time the voice that came out of the crimson eyed man was less than patient, less than enthusiastic and less than tolerant of Draeko’s behavior. He brought up his hand and began to tickle and rub Drae’s sensitive nostrils with the flattened print of his thumb. The hybrid’s lips parted and his throat stuttered, his breath caught in the middle of his throat before it came bursting out of him.

“H’KGNSH!!!!” It flung out of his mouth and hit the red head square in his face again, yet each time it seemed that a cloud of saliva slapped itself across the red head, he never even flinched. Relishing in the feeling of it in fact.

“See? I knew you could do it, squirt,” he chuckled menacingly, sliding his tongue possessively across the other’s jaw. The moment lasted mere seconds before the demon was shoveling the other to the ground. “Catch you on the flip…I’d help you with that rager but if I don’t get back to class, I’ll get marked for it…so…guess you’ll pathetically have to suffer,” laughing with his head falling back as he pointed out the boner Drae was sporting. The red head’s long legs carrying him through the door of the bathroom and out of sight. Draeko snuffled and shuffled himself trying to get back on his feet feeling more or less like a used up chew toy.

“What a fucking dick!” Draeko pouted, blushing brightly across his face. He busted through a stall angrily to grab a handful of toilet paper, finally allowing himself to clear out his painfully tormented sinuses. A loud gurgle rose from his throat as he blew roughly into the mulched tree fabric. “Swear….Im never…SNdFf,” wiping his nose a few more times for good measure. “Talking to that guy again,” noticing his, problem downstairs only made him roll his eyes. “That happens to everyone when they’re scared….” But did it? Cause this was his first and , he’s been scared plenty. Petrified before even.

Draeko gathered himself, used the restroom and stood at the counter of the sink, staring himself in the face while shaking his head. “You’re the worst…you couldn’t even stand up for yourself right! How are you supposed to get a degree??” He groaned and let out an exasperated growl before he managed to feel halfway decent enough to leave the bathroom.

He was able to recall where he had come from to get to the bathroom in the first place, well enough to return to the class. Silently he walked back in, to his seat, avoiding eye contact with the men that sat behind him, slid in and quietly went back into focus. Alistar pouted himself, not even a quick glance? An acknowledgment of some kind? How cold. The professor managed to remain in her groove despite the slight interruption, though anticipated one way or another.

“Okay, so, you’re all going to read chapters 1-5 for the next week and come up with a discussion question, I’ll put you guys in groups and we will go around the room making sure each group has a question-…” as she explained next week’s agenda, Alistar hummed out loud causing his friend beside him to look over.

“Was your time alone not sufficient in the bathroom, Al?” Kanai asked curiously his own dull heterochomiatic eyes staring at the back of the pastel male’s head.

“Oh…it was great, he’s a real spritzer….Im just wondering how often, we can make this a thing, you know?” Despite talking at a low enough decibel that the Professor could keep talking without catching on, Drae however, was able to hear the two clearly behind him.

“Possibly everyday If you ask Mrs Stephen’s where she got her scent from,” the Navy haired man suggested but the red head rejected the idea, furrowing his brows and tapping his chin with an impatient index.

“Oh, no, that would be too simple, too easy, I want to make him suffer new ways, everyday,” Draeko sunk in his chair, his heart racing. Was this going to be his cross to bare? Was he to never know a normal day at College so long as these two bozos behind him wanted to make a spectacle out of him? He was already contemplating ways of not showing up, how often could one call in sick and just receive the homework via email? Was that possible?

Eventually, the class was being dismissed, and Draeko could feel the freedom as he practically sprinted out of his seat. “Thank god…” creative writing class? Out of the way. It’s fine he would only have to deal with them for the first period. His next class, another elective, would bring him a sense of relief. He could finally get away from, well, Alistar. That guy was weird.

Draeko had 3 classes Monday Wed Fri. Creative Writing, Culinary and English. With 4 classes Tues and Thurs being music theory, calculus, biology and women’s history. This meant one class out of the week, 3 times a week couldn’t hurt, right? It’s a big campus, it’s not like the two jocks had any reason to follow him and stalk him. Nah, Draeko was simply worried for nothing. After having asked his professor for the directions to his next classroom, Drae allowed the cool air of the winter season to caress him while he walked. It had just started getting cold, which meant bundling up extra and plenty of vitamin C gummies to keep the illnesses at bay.

Draeko crossed the campus to his second class of the day, feeling much more prepared to have a smoother hour than his last, he walked through the door and immediately found the best seat, to his judgement, up front. Only a few students had found their way in, so the mutt took this time to actually organize his things, and pull out a notebook. It was much more sufficient to be early than late.

Sitting back in his seat and doodling a small frog in his notebook whilst waiting he didn’t even notice, or hear the familiar clinks and chime of chains that echoed behind him until they stopped suddenly. “Two classes in a row with my new favorite squeaky toy? Kanai, you really did a good job picking out our elective classes this year,” snickering loudly it caused the mutt to freeze right in his chair. No. You’re kidding, it can’t be….

Surely enough, Draeko turned his head, and looked up. “Please…just leave me alone, ok?” He begged the red headed student before the man laughed, sliding into the table, or more specifically, the seat next to Drae. Kanai following close behind. In this class room, there were kitchen stations but also, table stations. Each table could seat 4. After Al, Kanai and Drae shoved themselves into a table, one last student trickled into their area, a shy girl with brown hair and green eyes avoided looking at the much taller more intimidating two.

“Now, pup, why on earth would I leave you alone? What? We can’t be friends?” The red head looked over at the mutt, his brows furrowed and his face almost looked broken hearted as he spoke so freely.

“Friends don’t do what you did!” still avoiding eye contact, the hybrid’s face fell to that of anger, what was this guys deal? Why did he have to pick on him of all people? He just wanted to have a good day.

“Oh come on, don’t be a buzz kill I was only having some fun,” the man playfully nudged his new acquaintance with his elbow, waggling his once furrowed brows.

“Well it wasn’t fun!” Draeko shoveled at Alistar, trying to get the man to keep his body, and limbs to himself as they sat there waiting for the class to start.

“Oh don’t worry kid, I’ll make it up to you….it’s only just begun,” and whatever he meant by that, caused the hairs to raise on the back of Draeko’s neck. He knew, these next few months, were going to be the hardest to get through than he could possibly imagine.

To Be Continued…

Author’s Notes: I KNOW…it’s kind of short, but in true fashion I can’t give you guys too much too quickly in the first part! However, we made some good headway! Next part I promise, is gonna be steamy. Al and Kanai are only going to up the ante as each chapter goes. 😈🤌🏻 Hope you guys enjoyed Part 1!

[rhodesrider]

Car Convos and Lollipops

Jey Uso x Black! Fem Reader

NSFW! 18+! Minors DNI!

Warning: Degrading Nickname, Car sex, Oral Sex, Squirting

Word Count: 1.2k

~

You sat in the lounge room with your switch lite and a dum-dum pop in your mouth relaxing waiting for Jey to get back from the promo. You soon hear voices looking up crunching on the last of the small lollipop it had to be them. The door opens and you see everyone else but Jey. “Hey Romie, where’s JJ?” You ask grabbing another pop and throwing the stick of the previous one away in a mini can by Romans’ chair. “Being a hot head,” Jimmy mumbled plopping in a seat. “He’s in the SUV just blowing off some steam honey,” Roman answered sitting in his seat next. You were worried and paused your game, getting your slides back on and walking past them.

“Damn how many lollipops she ate?” Solo asked as the trash was full of sticks. “Hey, she likes em, leave her alone,” Roman said sighing, Honest was worried about Jey.

You found the truck finally as it was blasting music, yea Jey is in there. You knocked on the door with a certain pattern and gave him a minute. He rolled the window down, his eyes looking puffy. “Baby, can you let me in? I just wanna see how your day was.” You say looking at him smiling. He falls for it each time. He unlocked the door and helped you in letting you straddle him. You kiss his forehead after pulling the lollipop out your mouth finishing off and tossing the stick out the window. “You always eating those.” He mumbled. You giggle and kiss him slowly, breaking the kiss you turn the music down some and look at him. “So what’s going on big daddy?” You ask as you examine his face. “What hasn’t been going on? Roman and my brothers are respecting that fuckin bitch Sami more than me.” He hissed and his breathing fast came back in anger. “Hey hey come on baby, it’s just us.” You remind him and he started to calm down. “Imma be replaced baby…” his voice cracked some.

“Baby I assure you, you’re not. You just have to deal with Sami for now and behave. You see the PPV is soon, you have to help your family show all of the universe you ain’t playin.” You say looking in his eyes. “But Sami-“ “Fuck him. He’s ain’t shit. This is your family. He ain’t apart of this shit. He’s not blood.” He nodded agreeing. “I know you are stressed baby. I was worried. But you have nothing to worry about. You just need to chill.” You say smiling. “Help daddy chill then mamas~” He smirked getting under your shirt and going straight to your tits. “Baby, they gonna be coming soon.” You whined but soon he had your shirt up pulling down your bra admiring your perky nipples. You blush some biting your lip as he started to suck and pull on your sensitive nipples. He took his free hand gripping your ass as you moan a bit loving at the feel of his rough hands all over you.

He grew impatient and whispered in your ear. “Make me feel better bitch. Did I stutter?” He growled low soon reaching into her pants. She bit her lip unbuttoning them for more room. He laid her down on the seat starting a heated makeup session. Toying with your pants finally slid his hand in them and carefully rubbing fingers on your clit. He smirked as he felt what was already wet. “My pussy ready for daddy?” He leaned and whispered in your ear as you moaned out. He rubbed it softly playing with the lips and clit chuckling loving to see you squirm. Soon his phone went off. He rolled his eyes taking his fingers off you and licking them slightly answering the phone. “Yea?… Yea I’ll be right there I’m talking to baby girl….yea gimme 30 minutes.” He hung up quickly throwing his phone in the back and smirking. “Take them off. I’m hungry.” He said as his eyes were filled with lust and need. You didn’t argue and started to slide off your shorts putting them to the side, your pussy glistening some from the natural light barely coming in the truck.

He licked his lips kissing you again then your neck, proceeding to your breast licking and sucking on them some, and your tummy. He put his hand in a firm place to make sure you don’t move and his hot breath was felt against your sensitive wet cunt. “Babygirl. Beg.” He commanded wanting to hear you. “D-daddy please eat me~” You stutter as you were very aroused. He started to devour you not able to wait any longer, his dick throbbing for attention but he can wait, Jey wanted to make sure you were pleasured first. You were the only one that could deal with their temper, his yells, and the only one to calm him down. He makes sure you are to be pleasured first. And that makes him happy.

Pleasure Dom

A dominant who gets sexual gratification from giving his/her partner(s) as many intense orgasms as possible.

You held on to the seat as he continued to devour her pussy, sucking on the clit moaning at the taste of her juices. He could do this all day, but no he had 30 minutes. He slipped fingers in slowly breaking you, you cover your mouth but he quickly moves it away. “Don’t do that bitch. You know I want everyone to hear you. I don’t give a fuck where we are~” He went back down pulling you closer. You drooled arching your back as you were close. He started to speed up the fingering licking and sucking your clit more looking up at you. You squealed some trying to be quiet and Jey moved his fingers getting the seat wet some in the process. You sigh out cuming hard and soon hear someone drinking. Jey trying to make sure you didn’t make much of a mess, drinking your juices. He finished up wiping his mouth wanting to fuck you. “That was new baby.” He smirked. You look away embarrassed. “I’m sorry baby I’ve never-“ he chuckled some. “Don’t be saying sorry for that princess.” He sounded so evil yet he was just horny as fuck. “Come on let’s get your clothes back on right.”

After that, they walked back to the lounge room. “So that was a long conversation,” Roman said smirking. “Yea she gave a lot of good points.” Jey smiled as you were leaning on him trying to look normal. “I’m sorry y’all for how I acted.” He glanced at Sami rolling his eyes. “And I'm sorry Sami. I still don’t like you but I'm sorry.” Sami shrugged. “I’ll take what I can get.” He smiled. You went over to the candy bow got another lollipop and smiled at Jey tossing him one. “Imma head to the house early Yall.” Roman and Jimmy rolled their eyes and Solo smacked his teeth. You waved at them bye knowing it’s gonna be a long night. Jey put the lollipop in his mouth smirking. “You gonna do that squirt shit again for me tonight mamas?” He growled low in his ear making you blush. “If you’re not sure it’s ok, we can work on it,” Jey smirked evilly like taking you to the car.

[kzlove]

spider donut

syn -> you and eren go on a hunt for a spider donut.

warnings : nickname use (mama, babe, girl), mikasa has a little brother, spider man jokes, mikasa and eren have a sibling relationship, n-word use (once i think ion know), definitely not proofread

eren x black!reader

note : bruh i lowkey forgot abt this acc 🌚

-

[6:03am] my girl : oh hi eren 🙂

[6:05am] boyfie : ohmygod [6:05am] boyfie : whatchu want now girl [6:05am] boyfie : it's six in the fuckin morning

[6:06am] my girl : damn so ask me how i slept then.

[6:06am] boyfie : mmcht. [6:07am] boyfie : how you slept mama?

[6:09am] my girl : stfu

[6:10am] boyfie : bruh. 😐 [6:10am] boyfie : WHATCHU WANT.

[6:10am] my girl : you still got ur keys took?

[6:11am] boyfie : ok so.. [6:11am] boyfie : you wanna get blocked 🤨 [6:12am] boyfie : could've said that frm the get go babe

[6:13am] my girl : aii bruh chilll 🫠 [6:15am] my girl : i want a spider donut

[6:16am] boyfie : huh

[6:18am] my girl : you text too much 😒 [6:18am] my girl : ft me, i miss your face

[6:19am] boyfie : you texted me first 😒

-

eren facetimes you, staring into the camera with low, tired eyes.

"why are you up so early on a weekend?" eren grumbles into the mic, holding the phone in his left hand.

you smile, showing your face in the camera as you rest your back against the headboard.

he recognizes it, but can't exactly tell where he recognizes it from.

"i'm at mikasa's house. she went to go get nan from his sleepover." you inform, turning her led lights on.

nan was her little brother, but his real name was kenji.

he got his nickname from eren, due to the young boy's love for bananas and the first minions movie.

"at six in the morning? who ends a sleep over at this time?" he questions, sitting up in his bed a bit confused.

"it's his first sleepover, e. he had a nightmare and wanted to go home." you complained, rolling your eyes.

eren says nothing in response, just laying back in his bed with a quiet 'mmh' coming from his lips.

you stare back at him, giving him a stink face.

"what do you want girl? i wanna go back to sleep." eren questions, mumbling into his sheets.

"a spider donut baby. you know the one i sent you like a night ago?" you question, tilting your head.

eren scoffs, picking up his phone and getting ready to hang up on you.

"please hang up on me so i can find another nigga." you beg, glaring at the phone and sitting up with the quickness.

eren groans loudly, before dropping his phone right back on the bed in annoyance.

you giggle, leaning back against the headboard with a proud look on your face.

"gimme two hours mama. then m'all yours okay?" eren questions, picking up his phone with a frown.

you nod, smiling big at his words. "okay. love you." you speak into the mic, biting your freshly done nail.

eren mumbles a quiet 'love you too' before hanging up.

he doesn't know what he's getting himself into.

-

you were generous enough to give him four more hours of sleep, before calling him again.

this time, he was actually climbing out of his bed and making his way to the bathroom.

"i hope you're not ready yet." eren said, picking up his tooth brush and propping his phone up.

you shake your head no, showing him your black top and hello kitty pajama pants.

but you had already brushed your teeth, showered, and did your hair.

all you had to do was put your clothes on, and you were ready to go after that.

unlike eren, who had to do everything under the sun.

you hadn't mind though. it gave you more time to look for your outfit and pair your shoes with it.

when eren finished brushing his teeth, he climbed into the shower.

"what are you gonna wear?" you questioned, laying your outfit on mikasa's vanity chair.

eren pauses for a minute, before humming. "probably something calm. my essentials hoodie and my forces maybe." eren shrugged.

you glance at your outfit while nodding.

"nice. love it." you reply shortly after, stripping out of your clothes and beginning to lotion your skin.

it doesn't take too long for eren to get out the shower, walking into his room and setting his phone on his dresser.

he starts to dig through his closet, a confused and annoyed look on his face.

"what's wrong baby?" you question, pulling up your jeans and socks.

eren pokes his head out of the closet to look at you.

"do you have my essentials hoodie? you were last to wear it" he questions, bringing his fully body out of the closet.

you shake your head, giving him a confused frown. "you were the one that took it off me, e." you reminded.

eren huffed in frustration, before picking up his dark green sweatshirt and tossing over his head while grumbling.

you don't pay him any mind, tossing your hoodie over your head and walking downstairs.

"you leaving already?" mikasa asks you, raising her eyebrow in confusion.

she was laying on the couch watching bojack horseman, a bowl of fruits sitting in front of her.

she must've cut them up while you were in the shower.

you shake your head, having a seat next to her and looking at the tv.

"eren's coming to get me in a bit. i'll be right back though." you tell her, grabbing a throw pillow and tucking it under your chin.

she nods, popping a grape in her mouth and offering you one.

you take one gratefully, mimicking her actions and popping it in her mouth.

5 minutes go past, before mikasa opens her mouth again.

"you got a dick appointment? you smell really good and you used my cocoa butter." mikasa questioned, smirking.

you laughed, before shaking your head.

"nah, i wish. we're going to look for something." you say, using your camera to make sure your edges are laid.

mikasa hums, sliding you the rest of her fruit bowl and stretching while pointing to her keys.

she didn't want to fall asleep and have you locked out, even though her parents gave eren the spare key.

you eat it, chewing on the piece of strawberry in the bowl.

"i'm outside." eren says from your phone, leaning back into his seat with a quiet yawn.

you nod, standing up out of your seat and giving mikasa a small hug before grabbing her keys.

you make your way over to eren's car after locking the front door, climbing into the front with a smile.

eren stared at your outfit the entire time, and even shifted his whole body when you took a seat.

"what?" you finally asked, kissing your teeth. but you knew why he was staring so hard

"how the fuck you got my hoodie? and i asked if you seen it." eren scoffed, reversing out of the driveway.

you hold your tongue, reapplying your lip gloss and making sure you looked good.

eren doesn't say anything else about the topic, just driving to the nearest dunkin donuts.

he let you have the aux, so of course your favorite song was blasting from the speakers.

you got all the videos out of the short car ride you could, posting only one on his instagram story.

the music turns off when you get to dunkin donuts, eren climbing out the car and opening the door for you.

he does the same to the dunkin donuts door, waiting for you to walk in.

you smile, walking in and immediately going to the showcase of donuts.

your smile disappears when you don't see what you're looking for.

eren notices, and turns to the cashier. "do you guys have anymore spider donuts?" he questions, showing him the picture.

he must've looked it up on his way, because you didn't send him any spider picture.

the cashier looks, before shaking his head.

"nah, sorry. can i get you anything else?" the cashier asks, shifting his eyes back to eren.

eren notices you walking out of the place, grumbling to yourself.

he rolls his eyes in response, looking up at the menu. "yeah let me get a strawberry dragon fruit refresher and.."

-

you sat on the hood of the car, waiting for eren to come out of the dunkin donuts place.

you looked before you made sure eren knew where he was going, and they literally said they were available.

how the fuck do you promote wrong?

eren walks out, holding a little bag and two drinks in his hand.

one refresher, and one frozen drink.

"who the fuck is that for?" you questioned, making a face at him.

"you girl. who else?" he questions back, handing you the cold drink with a scoff.

you smile, wrapping your freshly done nails around it.

you recognized it as the limited munchkin drink, the one you were talking about to him a couple nights ago.

"there's another one a couple miles away. lets check there." you beam, taking a sip of your drink.

eren chuckles and nods, opening the door for you to get in.

you plug the location into the gps and eren began driving.

"shit better be worth it." eren joked, watching the road as you took pictures of him and the drink.

-

you've gone to five dunkin donuts in your area, before trying another one.

both your drinks were completely done, and eren was ready to climb back into his bed.

"you need this today mama?" eren asked, pulling into yet another dunkin donuts with a frown.

you nod, squeezing his thigh. "plus i really think nan will be happier after his embarrassment." you explain, climbing out the car.

the two of you walk into the dunkin donuts located in walmart, before you gasped loudly.

"baby look they have it!" you say excitedly, shaking eren's arm while walking up to the cash register.

eren chuckles, squeezing your hand. it looked pretty normal to him, but he knew your excitement was different from his.

he adores you because of it.

"hi. can we get three spider donuts?" eren orders, rubbing the small of your back.

the sweet woman grabs a box, getting ready to pack the donuts into it for the two of you.

"actually can we get six spider donuts, and two chocolate, strawberry, and vanilla please." you correct, leaning into eren.

she nods, grabbing the half dozen box and packing the donuts neatly into it.

you grab your phone, getting ready to scan your card on it.

but before you could scan it, eren swipes his own card with a cheeky grin.

he doesn't let you speak, grabbing the box and walking out of the store without you.

"you two are a cute couple." the woman smiles, waving you off.

you nod, shooting her a small thanks before chasing after eren.

you meet him at the car, holding the box and waiting for you with your side already open.

"you didn't have to pay." you complained, getting into your side while looking up at him.

he leans down and presses a soft kiss to your lips, muttering 'i know' against them.

you have so much love for this man.

-

you make it back to mikasa's house after a bit of a drive and the many pictures you took of the box of donuts.

eren opens the door for you when you make it to the house, and closes the door after too.

"honey i'm home!" eren calls out jokingly, hearing nan immediately run down the stars.

eren places the donuts on the counter and nan launches himself into his arms.

they had a strong relationship, you could tell. probably because mikasa always had eren around.

nan had grown to see eren like his older brother.

"and you're here too!" nan giggles, looking at you upside down in eren's hold.

you give him a short hug once he's let down, before turning to mikasa who was knocked out on the couch.

the tv read 'are you still watching bojack horseman' on the tv.

she must've fallen asleep after you left.

"who are the donuts for?" nan asked, sitting at the table in front of them with a grin.

"us, nan. open them." you suggested, pointing to the box and sitting in front of him.

eren walks over to mikasa, lifting her up and shaking her awake.

she immediately lets out loud complaints of 'put me down!" and "i'm sleeping eren!" as he swings her around.

nan opens the box and gasps, seeing the spider donuts almost immediately.

"yay! spider donuts! thank you!" nan cheered, clapping his hands and wiggling in his seat at the sight of the donuts.

you make sure to put two aside for mikasa's parents, not wanting to leave them out of it.

you grab three more and sit on the couch with napkins, handing one to mikasa and eren.

eren pulls your thighs over his lap and kisses your cheek, before taking a bite out of his donut.

"thank you eren." you say, resting your head on his shoulder.

eren nods and rubs your back, a smile on his face.

these feelings he got and your reaction were definitely the reason he did things like this.

-bonus-

after finishing your donut, the three of you were comfortably watching bojack horseman on the couch.

you had switched out your clothes for your pajamas and brought a blanket for you an eren to share.

about three episodes in, nan dashed in front of the tv wearing a spider man suit, doing the spider man pose.

"bro you're not spider man." mikasa complained, already pinching the bridge of her nose.

"yes i am! new york needs me!" nan yelled, stomping his feet and pretending to shoot webs at her.

you laughed, moving out the way so eren could record him.

"you're not miles morales! the spider didn't even bite you!" mikasa laughed, throwing her hands up.

nan paused, before giving his sister a snarky remark.

one you surely weren't ready to hear.

"girl it's 2023. ipads and computers and scientists are very smart." nan complained, roling his eyes.

eren busted into laughter.

-

your outfit || eren's outfit

[evas-apartment]

replaying Majora's Mask and it's kind of unreal how much better this game plays than Ocarina of Time. Like, I know. OoT is like the Citizen Kane of video games and Majora was made in like 6 days as the greatest asset flip of all time (exaggerations the both of them) but just playing it, god if only there was like a third of these. If only the DD wasn't a massive failure and we essentially got a patch for OoT on 64DD. Cause OoT has a lot of QoL issues that a patch would fix, or MM fixes outright.

OoT is SO SLOW ALL THE TIME. People talk for too long, you can't skip anything, text scrolls at one speed and that speed is fucking erosion. The cutscenes were groundbreaking, i've been informed, but they go on for way too god damn long. Like three different people explain what the fuckin triforce is like four seperate times like i GET IT. It's a macguffin we don't ever actually obtain just get ON WITH IT.

But no only that, the movement speed is so god damn slow too. glitches aside, the fastest way to move in the game is on the horse, that comes in after like 90% of the child gameplay, so when you have to play as the child again it feels torturous. Bro even the menus are slow! The file select is slow. The pause menu is slow. Changing equipment is slow. Navigating the world is slow.

But perhaps most frustrating on my most recent playthrough is the aiming. I always thought that the first-person aiming in OoT was always wonky because I wasn't playing it on an N64. Then I bought an N64. It's just like that. It is SO finicky and hard to control. Z-targeting is the only saving grace but you can't Z-target switches, ESPECIALLY those fucking eyeball switches and they're in every dungeon in the game ffs.

Literally all of these issues are improved upon in MM. The aiming is smoother and it's far easier to make more minute changes. The menus are WAY faster, you still can't skip cutscense but most text in the game is skippable, which is a huge plus. The movement is better, the game runs at a consistently higher frame rate, you get a horse but literally who gives a shit when you can GORON ROLL BABEY. There are far more warp points in the game, so you spend a lot less overworld time just going from place to place. The pause menu comes up super quick and changing your gear is a lot faster too. All of these changes should have been made when they decided to put OoT on literally every console they ever released after the N64. Like fuck an authentic port if it plays like cottage cheese, gimme more of how MM plays. I'm not even done with the third dungeon in MM and i've once again re-established my correct opinion that I like MM more, and MM plays way better than OoT. OoT may be more fleshed out and larger and yadda yadda yadda, that game had like 5 years of development time. MM was made on sandwiches and wishes and oops they made one of the best games ever again. Still definitely in my top, say, 50 games i've ever played. Maybe 30? Maybe 30.

[maybeimamuppet]

i'll be there for christmas (1/3)

hellooooo everyone!! happy holidays to everyone who celebrates something and happy day to everyone who doesn’t!! i hope it’s been wonderful :)

welcome to officially the longest thing i’ve ever written!! yeeha this is apparently the length of a novel so that’s fuckin wild 

and it’s also a gift for my love. merry christmas (or whenever you read this :p) you’re the answer to a wish i didn’t know i was making and i’m so thankful every day that you came into my life. i love you so much <;33

for the rest of you!! tw for 

dysfunctional family dynamics

mentioned homophobia 

mentioned outing 

and as always if i’ve missed something please let me know so i can add it in :) 

enjoy!!

————

Janis wakes up to the sound of her ringtone. 

Not her alarm. She has them set to different sounds. Her ringtone. 

She groans and sits up in bed, brushing her dark hair out of her eyes and fumbling for her phone on her nightstand. 

She huffs when she sees Damian’s name and stupid picture lighting up her screen; her phone buzzing in her hand in a desperate bid for her attention. She hits the green button and puts her phone to her ear.

“What do-”

“Where the fuck are you?” Damian huffs on the other end. “It is nine fifteen, you are half an hour late for your shift, madam. It is the week before Thanksgiving, you know damn well everyone and their mother is getting coffee before they have to deal with their miserable families-”

“Fuck! Shit, Dame, I’m-” Janis begins, flying out of bed and throwing all her clothes out of the hamper to find her work uniform. “I overslept, I’m- shit!” 

“Just get here, I’ll cover for you if boss man shows up,” Damian sighs. “This is the last time, though.”

“I love you,” Janis says. “I gotta go, gimme ten.”

“Ten only.” 

“Maybe fifteen.”

“Ten!” 

“Ten,” Janis echoes, hanging up the phone and grabbing her work hat off its hook by the door. “Fuck my life.”

—-

Janis manages to make it out the door in three minutes flat. Her uniform is stained and wrinkled since she forgot to wash it, her hair and teeth aren’t brushed, she didn’t eat breakfast, and her shoes are untied, but she made it out the door in three minutes and that has to be enough on a morning like this. 

She has her cap hanging out of her mouth as she ties her hair back in a lazy sort of knot, running the four blocks to the coffee shop. 

She sighs when she sees it come into her view, bracing internally for… something. Every day is different. None of them are necessarily good. But they’re all different. 

She’s about to open the door when it flies open at her. She stumbles backwards to avoid a face full of glass door and trips over her untied shoelaces. 

“Watch where you’re fucking going!” she scoffs to the woman who landed on top of her. 

“Me?! You should tie your fucking shoes!” the woman yells. 

“And you should watch for innocent pedestrians before you take off for your fucking marathon!” 

“Do you have any idea who you’re talking to?!”

“A fucking nutcase, clearly!” Janis yells. “Now if you’ll excuse me, your highness, I have a fucking shift I’m late for. Sorry to be in your way with my… common… ness. Look, just leave!” 

“For all you know I’m a paying customer!” the woman yells after her as Janis stalks into the shop. 

“I’m not on the clock yet!” Janis retaliates. “Have a fucking fantastic day, enjoy trampling people!” 

“Hmph!” the woman huffs, rushing off down the sidewalk. Janis shoves her way back through into the employee area to clock in. 

“What the fuck have you done?!” Damian yells, slamming the door open after her.

“What?” Janis sighs, swiping her employee ID card through the system. 

“Do you have any idea who you just yelled at on the fucking sidewalk?!” 

“Some blind businesswoman? She fucking knocked me on my ass, I was well within my right to yell.”

“That was Cady Heron!” Damian insists. “As in heiress to Heron Enterprises and fucking billionaire, Cady Heron!” 

Janis freezes mid-step on her way back to the main shop. “You’re kidding me.”

“No! You fucking- oh my god, Janis!” 

“I just yelled at the daughter of the person who owns my entire apartment complex.”

“He owns half the city, Janis.”

“I just called the daughter of the person who owns half my city a fucking nutcase.”

“Janis!”

“Alright, look, if I get crucified just… deal with my affairs and I love you dearly. Just don’t… don’t think about what just happened.”

“You yelled at a billionaire!” Damian insists.

“Yes! Continue to remind me of that, thanks a fucking million.”

“Billion.”

“I’m gonna pour hot coffee. All over you. And everything you love,” Janis grumbles, taking her spot behind the counter. 

“Tie your damn shoes.”

“Hot! Coffee!”

—————

The next morning gets off to a smoother start. Damian personally set no fewer than fifteen alarms for her, so she’s up well within a reasonable amount of time.

She can walk instead of sprint today, as she carefully adjusts her freshly washed and ironed uniform. 

“Ms. Sarkisian?” a voice asks as she fluffs her hair out from the collar of her polo. Janis turns on her heel and sees a man in a full three-piece suit standing by a very fancy car. He’s even got one of those funky little handkerchiefs in his pocket. And little white gloves. 

“Maybe. Who’s asking?”

“In the car, please, madam.”

“I don’t think so,” Janis replies, turning back around. “Have a nice day.”

“Miss, I really must insist-”

“Look, I don’t know who you are or what you want with me, but I have a shift to get to. Enjoy your gloves.” 

“Ms. Sarkisian,” a woman’s voice says. Janis turns around again and sees a woman standing behind the now open door to the backseat. Janis winces when she sees it’s her. From yesterday. “Please.” 

Janis looks suspiciously between the two of them. The… driver, Janis presumes, gestures gently to the very expensive car. Janis shoots each of them one last look before she slowly makes her way over and gets in. The woman smiles like the cat that got the canary as she takes the far seat. 

“Whoa,” Janis whispers as she sees the interior. 

“Coffee?” the woman asks as they start driving.

“Oh, um… no, thank you. I, er… get enough of that in my day to day. Listen, I’m so sorry about yesterday, I had no idea who you were and I really can’t afford to be sued right now-”

“I’m not suing you,” the woman says. She sighs and reaches out a hand for Janis to shake. “Let’s just forget all about that, shall we? Cady Heron, pleasure to meet you.” 

“Uh… Janis… Sarkisian,” Janis says awkwardly. How often do you get to shake hands with a billionaire just for her to fuck it up? “Same here.” 

“Janis, can I call you Janis?” Cady begins, speaking so rapidly that Janis doesn’t even get a chance to interject. “I have a small proposition for you.” 

Janis looks as she hands over a manila folder. She opens it and sees a nondisclosure agreement as the first document contained within. What the fresh hell-

“What-”

“Listen, Janis, I’m sure you know by now who I am. And that our… how do I say this delicately, our worlds don’t really overlap. And that is why you are perfect for this,” Cady says. 

“And what exactly is this?” Janis asks, continuing to flick through the documents. 

“I need you to pretend to date me.” 

“I- what?!” Janis says, unable to hold back a laugh. “You- I- what?!” 

“Just hear me out, I implore you,” Cady begs. “I’m not exactly young anymore. I’m twenty-four, you know. My family has… expectations. I’m to be married by twenty-six, and the sooner the better. People, and the press, are beginning to talk. And they’re not exactly saying favorable things. When they talk, the common folk talk, and we… we can’t have that, I’m sure you understand.” 

Janis blinks at her. 

“Anyway, I just need someone to assuage the masses, and my family. And that’s where you come in,” Cady says with a smile that doesn’t meet her eyes. “All I need you to do is pretend to be my partner through Christmas. We’ll be ‘broken up’ by New Year’s and on our own merry ways. I’ll never even come through this part of town in person again if you say the word.” 

“I’m still… why… why me?” 

“You made it very clear yesterday that you have absolutely no idea who I am. The press will love seeing me dating a poor person, and the fact that we know nothing about one another will make our inevitable breakup much easier. And you’re someone I’ll never have to see again. I can fake our grisly separation, milk that for ten years so my parents won’t try to arrange my marriage to anyone and by that point I’ll be running the business and able to use that as an excuse.”

“Wow, you really have this all planned out,” Janis chuckles. “So… I just… have to…” 

“Pretend we’ve been together for about three years. For three weeks. And then I’ll pretend to propose, you say no and leave, I’m heartbroken, we never speak again.” 

“Propose?!” Janis yelps.

“Fake propose,” Cady amends. “So. Thoughts?”

“Why the hell would you think I’d agree to this? We didn’t exactly get off on the right foot yesterday,” Janis says. 

“Might help if you tied your shoes.”

“Not the time,” Janis hisses. “Look, as much as you think we’d never see each other again, your family owns half this city! They own my work, and-and my apartment building! If anyone knew about this they’d ruin me, and-and I can’t afford to move-”

“Nobody will know but us and a select few people, and everyone will sign a nondisclosure agreement.”

“Then-then your family will actually think I’m the kind of heartless monster who rejects a proposal around the holidays! They’ll- god, I don’t have a lawyer-”

“There’s a contract in there that states I will undo anything my parents will attempt to do in terms of legal or financial action against you for ‘breaking my heart’. And, quite frankly, they will not have a case in the first place. I’ve already signed everything. We may have a lot of property and stake over this city, but I mean it when I say that after that clock strikes twelve on Boxing Day you’ll never hear from any of us again.” 

“You realize this is a fucking crazy thing to ask of me, right? Like, this… this is weird,” Janis insists. 

“I am aware this is rather unconventional, yes,” Cady nods. “But I’ve covered every possible eventuality and you’re totally protected legally and financially speaking.” 

“That’s not what I mean,” Janis says. “Just… you want me, a complete stranger, to spend the holidays with you, pretend we’ve been dating for years, and then reject a proposal?!”

“That was the hope, yes.”

“Why would you ever think I’d agree to this?”

“Because I’m prepared to pay you one hundred thousand dollars for it,” Cady says. Janis balks at her.

“A hundred-”

“Thousand dollars, yes,” Cady says like it’s entirely obvious. “And there’s a clause in your contract that states you’re allowed to leave for whatever reason should you so choose between the date you sign it and the date of our scheduled breakup. And as long as you help me come up with an excuse and make it believable, you still receive full pay. And if you don’t, I’ll give you fifty thousand anyway.” 

“So… if I… agree to this,” Janis says. “I basically get a hundred thousand dollars guaranteed, and I just…”

“Pretend to love me for three weeks.”

“I…” Janis stutters. “Jesus. You know what? Yeah, okay.” 

Cady hands over a pen. “Excellent. I will need you to sign the NDA before you exit the vehicle just to guarantee nobody else finds out we had this little conversation, but the rest can be handled whenever is convenient for you. I’ve given you the number and address of my lawyers’ office, you can contact them if you have any questions and drop all the documents off there when you’ve signed them.” 

Janis quickly skims the NDA, and it sounds reasonable enough. Almost not daring to believe it, she signs on the dotted line and passes the page and pen back to Cady. 

Almost like she planned it, they come to a stop right outside the coffee shop practically the second the paper touches Cady’s hand. 

“Pleasure doing business with you,” Cady says, giving another half-smile and shaking her hand. 

“Yeah, uh… you too,” Janis says, blinking in confusion as she accepts the handshake. Her jaw drops when Cady passes over a massive black binder as well. 

“Here’s all the information you should need in the coming weeks. Thank you again.”

“Anytime,” Janis says. Before she knows it, she’s blinking at a dust cloud down the road. 

What the Reese’s peanut butter fuck have I just gotten myself into?

—————

“Janis, hon?” Damian asks partway through his walk home from work. 

“Hm?” Janis hums softly.

“Why are you following me home?” 

“I need you right now,” Janis mumbles. 

“Mmhmm. And what’s with the binder?” Damian questions, walking a bit slower to let her catch up. 

“Why I need you right now,” Janis explains. Damian nods solemnly and lets her continue to slowly trail after him. 

Janis enters his apartment when he unlocks the door, leaving the binder and the folder on his coffee table and face planting into his couch. 

“So what’s-”

“Don’t look in the book!” Janis says, rearing upright when she hears him approach it. 

“Why not?” Damian yelps, scrambling away like the binder is apt to explode at any moment.

“Because I think that’s a felony,” Janis sighs. 

“…Say what?” 

“Sit,” Janis says. Damian plops onto his rug like a kindergartener waiting for story time. “Do you have any duct tape?” 

“Um… I think I have some tie dye patterned tape left from pride,” Damian says. “Why?”

“So I can stop you screaming,” Janis sighs. “Just promise you won’t?”

“You know damn well I can’t promise that, Janis,” Damian says. Janis sighs and nods. 

“So. Did you, by chance, um… happen to see what happened this morning?” she begins. 

“Um… no, there was a… young… gentleman in the shop I was, um… quite… focused- let’s just say no, shall we? What happened?” Damian says. Janis raises an eyebrow. 

“A gentleman?” 

“We’re talking about you at the moment, let it out, doll,” Damian says immediately. 

“Fine. But you’ll tell me if he was actually cute later. Anyway,” Janis sighs. “So. Let me set the scene.” 

Damian nods eagerly, leaning forward and resting his chin in his hands.

“I’m walking into work, cursing the world like normal, yadda yadda. Then, a guy behind me goes, ‘Ms. Sarkisian?’ and I turn, and it’s this, like… dude you’d see in, like, a movie. Full suit with the little…”

“Pocket square?”

“Sure,” Janis nods. “And the stupid little hat and white gloves and he’s all, ‘Get in the car please’ and I’m like, ‘I have no idea who you are or how you know my name, I’m sure as shit not getting in your car, Mr. Gloves’.”

“Obviously,” Damian nods. “Wait, how did he know your name?”

“Just wait. So I say no and turn to keep going and then someone else says my name and I’m starting to wonder how many people on the sidewalk know my name,” Janis says. “But this one is a woman, so I, er… checked.”

“Checked, eh?” 

“Checked,” Janis confirms with a glare. “And… it’s fucking her.”

“Her?”

“Cady Heron,” Janis says. Damian’s jaw drops. “And she seemed… less mad than yesterday, so I figured I’d take the chance to apologize for the whole… nutcase… sidewalk incident. So I got in probably against my better judgement and before I can even say sorry she’s… like, making a business proposal at me.” 

“A business proposal?” Damian asks. 

“A business proposal! And you know what she wants?!” Janis says. Damian shakes his head, looking at her imploringly. “I can’t tell you, because I signed a fucking NDA!” 

“You what?!” Damian says, leaping to his… knees. “Okay, so… legally binding document aside. What the fuck, Jan?” 

“I can trust you, right? Like, if I break this… legally binding document I appear to have signed you won’t tell people?” 

“No, obviously. We go to prison together or not at all, and orange is clearly not my color,” Damian says. Janis nods.

“You do have a winter complexion. Anyway,” Janis says, handing over the binder and folder. Damian opens it and peeks at the first few pages. “I have to pretend to be her girlfriend!” 

“You what?!“ 

“Calm down,” Janis says, like she hasn’t just dropped a major bombshell. “It would appear… that I’ll be spending Christmas with… the Herons. And pretending that I’ve been dating their daughter for three years.”

Damian tries to speak, but doesn’t seem to be able to form words. Janis doesn’t blame him. 

“I…” Damian says eventually. “Huh?”

“I know! What the hell was I thinking?”

“What were you thinking?!”

“She… is paying me a… not small amount of money,” Janis explains.

“How much?”

“Hundred grand,” Janis mumbles. 

“A hundred grand?!” Damian yells. 

“Shut up! You have neighbors!” 

“A hundred thousand dollars, Janis!” 

“Shut up! I know!” 

“Okay, so the why has been established,” Damian says with a disbelieving shake of his head. “Did she tell you how the fuck she thinks this is going down?”

“No, she just gave me the binder and said it had everything I need to know. I’m supposed to sign everything in the folder and drop it off with her lawyers and then… study, I guess.” 

Damian opens the manila folder and starts flipping through the documents. He doesn’t actually read all that much, to leave Janis and Cady with some semblance of privacy. And because Janis may be right about it being a felony for him to lay eyes on them. 

“In the event of your early demise?!” he yelps when he sees the phrase on one document. 

“What?” Janis says. “It doesn’t say that!”

“It does!” Damian insists. He hands the document over, and, sure enough, this one details what should happen with the money should either of them die during the duration of the contract. 

“What the fuck?” Janis whispers. “I can split the money between my loved ones if I list their names and contact information for their lawyers or give it to a charity of my choice if I die. And if she dies then I have to give the copy I keep of this to her lawyer so I can still get the money.” 

“Where the hell is she taking you? The fucking moon? How are either of these things a possibility?!”

“I dunno. I really hope it’s a ‘just in case of the worst possible scenario’ thing. She did say she had prepared for every possible eventuality,” Janis says. 

“Is she pretty?” Damian asks quietly.

“What?”

“Cady. You saw her up close, is she pretty?”

“I… yeah, I guess,” Janis replies. “She’s not not pretty, but she was so… impersonal, I guess. It kinda put me off a little bit. It really did feel like some kind of business deal.” 

“Wow,” Damian says. Janis can tell he’s already lost in his own fantasies, probably already drafting a fanfiction about this whole deal in his mind. Janis takes the moment of quiet to give the binder a first skim over.

“Oh my god, she has five brothers?!” Janis yelps. 

“Huh? Oh, yeah, she’s the youngest. First girl, was a big deal when she was born,” Damian says. 

“They all have the same initials!” Janis says, frantically flipping back and forth between the pages. “How am I supposed to-”

“Wow, they look really similar,” Damian says, sitting next to her on the couch and peeking over her shoulder.

“Not helping!” Janis insists. “How am I meant to tell them apart?”

“Hope,” Damian says immediately. “Really hard.” 

“No, no, I can… I can do this,” Janis says. “Studying. It’s just like the SAT’s, right?”

“…Sure,” Damian nods. “Whatever makes you happy.”

“Oh, shut up!” 

—————

Janis is on a plane two weeks later. She settles further into her cushy seat in first class. It’s a long flight to Colorado, two whole hours, so she pulls out the binder to do a last minute crash course. 

Damian made flash cards, which helped more than Janis cares to admit. Janis thinks she has Cady’s entire family down to a t, but she knows there’s also a solid chance she’ll be so nervous she’ll forget everything she knows about her own family as soon as she lands. So she does some last minute studying just to be safe. 

She looks around suspiciously just to make sure nobody is peeking over her shoulder or anything. Nobody is supposed to know she knows Cady yet, and nobody is ever supposed to know that their relationship isn’t real. 

Luckily, she’s in a window seat, so she just leans in closer to the small pane of glass and flips to the first page. 

Cady’s oldest brother. Charles Jacob Heron The Fourth. Thirty-seven years old, loves… embroidered handkerchiefs, imported teas, and peanut butter. Interesting sounding guy. 

Next brother, Clifton Joseph. Thirty-six, likes boats, spas, and gambling. Janis is more than a little concerned by what that could mean.

Then, Clark James, thirty-two. Janis tries to remember his interests without checking the card. Fancy cars, skiing, and… 

She has to check for his third main interest. Scuba diving? Interesting. He certainly sounds more fun than the brothers Janis has read through so far. 

Cady’s next brother is Callum Jefferey. Thirty years old, already has three children, and enjoys… his wife and kids. And jet skiing. Huh. 

And last but not least is Chester Jeremiah. Closest in age to Cady at twenty-seven and seems to be her biggest competition. Competition in what, Janis can’t be sure, but… something. Chester likes fine art, the opera, and imported chocolates. Sounds like Damian’s kind of man. 

Janis intently studies their portraits, trying to find physical tells to keep them separate in her mind. They all look remarkably similar and Janis is not at all panicked. She has a full dossier on practically Cady’s whole family, (including the paternal grandmother she’s supposed to avoid at all costs) but she knows she’ll be spending the most time with Cady’s parents and brothers. 

“Clifton has… the ear,” she murmurs out loud to herself. “God, Charles, what are you about?!” 

Her seat neighbors are starting to look at her oddly, so she turns closer to the window and returns to her silent studying. 

All of the photos look like they were taken by the paparazzi. Maybe they were. How often does Cady actually see her family? 

She continues browsing, looking through the very detailed etiquette instructions. Shake hands, introduce yourself, shut the fuck up. Basically what it boils down to. 

Cady also gave her a list of ‘acceptable’ pet names and interactions. Baby, sweetheart, love, darling… Janis can put the pieces together well enough. Hugs are to be from the front or back only, side hugs look too platonic. Cheek kisses are acceptable, kisses on the lips will be discussed when they meet up in person. Holding hands is also acceptable, but only if their fingers are interlocked. Apparently, it’s also too platonic if they aren’t. 

Janis sighs and flips the book back shut. She frowns in confusion when the pages ripple and a little piece of paper is suddenly poking out the top. She hasn’t seen this before, so she grabs it to see what it is.

A letter. 

Janis,

Hi. It’s Cady. Nobody knows I’m adding this to your notes. So please don’t tell anyone, especially not the lawyers. If you’re a lawyer reading this, no you’re not. 

I just wanted to warn you. The paparazzi know someone is joining us for the holidays. They will be at the airport, and they will figure out which driver is ours. As soon as you get off the plane, people will be looking at you, and looking for you. 

Being in the public eye can be exhausting, especially if you’re not used to it. Just don’t answer any questions and try to ignore the cameras. I’d also advise you to stay away from the internet for the duration of your stay with me. The tabloids can and will be cruel, and having the internet at your fingertips is a blessing and a curse. Just trust me, and avoid them at all costs. 

Nobody knows your name yet, so the driver will have a sign with your name on it. Any other name is a fake and you should not get into their vehicle under any circumstances. 

If any of this ever gets to be too much for you to handle, please let me know. I’ll do whatever I can to help. 

Regards,

Cady Heron

Janis looks oddly at the letter once she finishes, and reads over it a few more times. It’s a bit strange, but either way, Janis decides to heed the letter’s warning. She tucks it back in between the pages and looks out the window she’s next to. 

The landscape is beautiful, she has to admit. They’re getting closer to Colorado, so most of it’s covered in snow. She almost can’t tell where the clouds ends and the snow begins. 

-

Before she knows it, the pilot is announcing their landing and she’s buckling her seatbelt. She watches the ground get closer and closer. She’s bracing, but she’s not sure what for. Landing has never been her favorite part of flights. 

But it goes as smoothly as a landing can. Janis grabs her carry-on and it only takes half an hour for everyone to get off the plane. 

She grabs her suitcase from the conveyor and heads out to the pickup area. My name. 

She walks past at least three cars bearing Cady’s name. She’s more than a bit concerned by how many people are earnestly trying to kidnap her. 

A few other names go by, and then she spies hers. It looks to be the same driver Cady had when she… borrowed Janis that morning last month. 

“Ms. Sarkisian,” he says when he sees her. 

“Yeah. Hello,” Janis says. “Nice to see you again.”

The man blinks in shock, seemingly amazed that she remembered him. “You as well, ma’am. Miss Heron is expecting you presently.”

Everyone around them starts murmuring at the mention of the H-word. The driver tenses, realizing he’s made a grave error. Cameras begin flashing around them. Janis looks around to see them, tilting her head as people start clamoring for her to look every which way and calling out questions one after another after another, so quickly she can’t pick the words apart. 

The driver beckons her into the car. Janis is so overwhelmed that she obeys without a word, desperately wanting out of the situation. Her bag is unceremoniously shoved in the trunk, and Janis is glad she didn’t pack anything fragile. She plops into her own seat with a huff of relief as the driver gets them going. Wherever they’re headed. 

“Ah, Janis, fantastic,” a voice says suddenly from behind her.

“Jesus fuck!” Janis yelps. 

“My apologies, I didn’t mean to frighten you. I trust your flight went okay?” Cady says as she clambers her way next to her from the very back seat. 

“I- yeah, it was fine,” Janis says. “Were you back there the whole time?”

“Oh, yes, of course. I absolutely had to accompany you,” Cady says. “People would talk if we didn’t arrive together. Tinted windows and blankets truly are wonders, aren’t they?”

“Uh… sure,” Janis says. “What-”

“If the paparazzi had seen me you’d never have made it into the car,” Cady says. “But I wanted to be here.”

“Thanks?” Janis says.

“That won’t do,” Cady pleads. “You can’t talk to me as if I’m an alien, nobody will believe us then.” 

“I’m sorry,” Janis says. “This is all just so… weird for me, still. I don’t wanna say anything wrong.”

“We can deal with you saying the wrong thing, it’ll be better than you not saying anything at all,” Cady says. “I swear you won’t offend me or anything. You can feel free to speak your mind.”

“Uh… okay,” Janis says. Cady glares at her. “Sorry, I’m sorry! It’s a lot of pressure!”

“If this is going to be too much for you please tell me now,” Cady says. 

“No, I can… it’ll just take me a second to adjust to all this, y’know? This is already… a whole new world to me. I’m a fish out of water, I gotta figure out how to breathe.” 

“Well, I’d suggest you figure it out quickly. We don’t have a very long drive,” Cady says. “It really shouldn’t be much different from what you’re used to.”

“I’d have to sell several of my internal organs to be able to afford this car.”

Cady purses her lips and nods. “Point taken.”

“I’ll be fine by the time we get there, I just… all I knew about you before this was what my friend Damian told me from reading about you in the magazines and stuff. It’s gonna take me a while to stop seeing you as a celebrity, and everything.” 

“I understand,” Cady nods. “Um…”

“You don’t have to tell me anything embarrassing to try to speed up the process,” Janis comforts.

“Oh, good,” Cady sighs. Janis chuckles. 

“So, the binder thing said you had some… rules you wanted to go over in person?” she prompts. 

“Oh! Yes, thank you,” Cady says. “It is important that this is all believable, but I don’t want to force you into anything you’re uncomfortable with. I felt it would be best to discuss what you’re comfortable with in terms of physical and emotional affection in person rather than just declaring how I’d like it to be.” 

“Oh. Thanks,” Janis says. “I mean, I’ll do basically anything for this amount of money.”

“So… if I pinned you against a wall in front of a crowd of society people and started making out with you, you’d be alright with that?” Cady says. 

“Uh- is… is that likely to happen?” Janis squeaks. 

“I mean, I’d probably pin you to a more secluded wall, but there’s always a chance that may come up and people will see,” Cady says. 

Janis ponders this. Cady prepared for every eventuality before even meeting Janis, she supposes there’s a few Janis herself should prepare for as well. “That makes sense, I guess. Maybe, like… we could have a signal, or something. Just so either of us can have a bit of warning before anything, er… intense? But just, like, regular kisses and things I think I’ll be alright being surprised with.” 

“A signal may be a good idea,” Cady hums thoughtfully. “How about this? One signal for… erm… naughty things. And one if either of us needs to be removed from public view or discuss something privately with the other?”

“Okay,” Janis nods. “What do you think they should be? I don’t really know what would be a good thing to do. What would be obvious, and everything.” 

“Um… maybe a wink, for… you know? If we do it right, that won’t be particularly noticeable. Do you have any nervous habits? We should avoid those.”

“Um… I guess I wring my hands a lot? And I move my lips, but I don’t think I have anything else,” Janis says. “I’ve never really had to pay much attention to stuff like that before, though, so I’m not sure.”

“I tap my fingers, so we mustn’t do anything with that,” Cady hums, crossing her arms and tightening her jaw in thought. 

“We both have pierced ears,” Janis says. “If we need to talk we could adjust our earrings. Or tug on an ear, or something.”

“Yes, that’s brilliant!” Cady says, eyes ablaze with delight. “Alright, that’s handled. Now kiss me.”

“What?” Janis yelps.

“People will be able to tell if we kiss for the first time in front of them. Even my parents,” Cady says. “We should get the first out of the way now to get any awkwardness about it out of our systems.” 

“Oh. Yeah, uh… okay,” Janis says. “Do you wanna… or should I…?” 

“Uhm… do you… want?” 

“I’m fine either way,” Janis mumbles awkwardly. 

“Oh, to hell with it,” Cady breathes. Janis’ eyes widen briefly as she suddenly winds her arms around Janis’ shoulders and smashes their lips together. Janis squeaks softly upon first contact, but tries to reciprocate. She needs practice, and all. 

It’s not a bad kiss, either. Cady’s very clearly inexperienced, which makes sense. She probably hasn’t had a huge amount of opportunities to make out with people in her lifetime, being a billionaire and all. Janis pointedly does not let her bring tongue into their first kiss, and Cady seems to calm down slightly after that. 

Eventually, they fade into a sort of rhythm. Push and pull. Cady starts following Janis’ lead. Janis reads Cady’s responses and adjusts accordingly. 

Janis almost regrets having to breathe when they’re forced to pull apart.

“Okay, yeah, um… that’ll… that’ll work,” Cady says, strangely flushed.

“Good,” Janis squeaks. 

Cady clears her throat and looks out the window, running her hands through her red curls to smooth them down and adjusting her pantsuit back to where it’s meant to be. “We’ll be there in a few minutes, do you have anything else you wish to know or discuss?” 

“Um…” Janis hums pensively. The book covered almost everything. “Do people know that I’m… uh…”

“They’re expecting a woman, if that’s what you’re trying to say,” Cady says. Janis nods. “I came out in high school, so everyone’s known I’m queer for years. And I told my family that I’d be bringing my girlfriend for the holidays this year, so they’re expecting you. I was hoping people would focus on that instead of the fact you’re poor.”

“Thanks,” Janis says, grumbling internally. She’s not poor. She’s just… admit it, you’re broke. “Do they not know I’m… not rich?”

“That they don’t know about,” Cady says. “I’d suggest you start learning to tune people out. My parents are going to judge us quite harshly, and my mother will probably say her judgements right to your face.”

“Eh, I’ve heard all the judgements before, it’ll be nothing new,” Janis shrugs. “People always have stuff to say about my makeup and clothes and tattoos and stuff.” 

“I’d still brace yourself. Things sting in a different way coming from my mother,” Cady sighs. Janis frowns as Cady seems to start bracing herself too. 

“Are you okay?”

“Oh, yes, I’m fine,” Cady blatantly lies. She’s good. Janis almost can’t tell, but there’s an even stronger tension in her shoulders and her jaw is clenched even tighter than normal. “Thank you.” 

“Mmhmm,” Janis hums. 

They’re silent for the rest of the drive, looking out their respective windows at the landscape going by. Janis thinks they must be here when they pass through an ornate gate, complete with a person in a little box who comes out to let them in. 

But they keep going. And going, and going, and going. The road is thin and winding, but long as anything. Uphill, downhill. There’s a bridge at one point over what looks to be a very deep crevasse. Fun. 

Eventually, they come to a stop. Janis jumps a bit, having zoned out for most of the drive up, and undoes her seatbelt. The driver opens the door for her, and she climbs out of the car. 

“Holy shit,” Janis whispers when she sees the place. It’s absolutely huge. It could easily house a hundred people or more. “This place looks like a hotel.”

“Oh, it is,” Cady says, coming up next to her. “My family owns several. We stay at a different one every year for the holidays. I had to talk them out of the one in Switzerland this year.” 

“Jesus,” Janis says softly. “It’s beautiful.”

“Just wait until you see the inside,” Cady grins. “Ready?”

Janis looks between Cady’s small smile and her outstretched hand. She takes it with a nod. “Ready as I’ll ever be.” 

Cady heads up to the front door; about twice as tall as Janis and roughly eight times as wide. She wonders if the doorbell Cady rings is made of real gold or just plated. 

A maid opens the door after a few seconds. “Hello, Miss Heron.”

“Hi, um…” 

“Claire, miss,” the maid replies.

“Hi, Claire,” Cady says. 

“Please come in. I’ll let your parents know you’ve arrived,” Claire says. She leaves them in the extravagant foyer. Janis turns around to look at everything. 

Two sets of marble staircases lead upwards against either wall of the very large room. The ceilings are easily thirty feet high, met by elegant ivory walls and decorated with gold and diamond chandeliers. The rug for them to leave their dirty outdoor shoes on is a deep, rich red, covering a pristine floor tiled in yet more marble. 

It’s been precisely decorated, too. Garlands and white lights are wrapped around the railings to each staircase, and elegant silver snowflakes hang from the chandeliers. There’s a few family photos on the walls. If this is actually a hotel, Janis has a hard time believing they’re there all year round. They must’ve been brought in especially for the family’s stay. 

“Holy shit,” Janis whispers again. She jumps as a butler suddenly comes up.

“Madam Heron, a pleasure to see you again. May I take your coats?” 

“Yes, thank you… um…”

“Simon, ma’am,” the butler says politely.

“Thank you, Simon,” Cady says. She hands him their coats and waves him off with a hand. He shuts the front door behind them and goes off to hang them somewhere Janis can’t see. 

Claire makes a return then. “If you’ll follow me, Miss Heron, and your guest. Your parents are expecting you in the parlor.” 

Cady takes Janis’ hand again as they follow the maid through the winding hallways of the mansion. Eventually they make it to the back side, and Janis has to hold back a gasp. 

A majority of the lower floor of this half of the house is one large room, clearly used to hold dances or parties or other fancy events. The back wall is almost entirely glass; practically floor to ceiling. Janis looks through it to see the mountains a ways in the distance and the lake much closer. It’s all very beautiful covered in snow and ice. 

They keep walking until they reach an only slightly smaller room. Janis wonders if this is the rich people’s version of a living room or family room. 

Claire opens the doors and leaves them with a polite bow. Cady sighs softly and squeezes Janis’ hand, seemingly without realizing.

“Hello, father, hello, mother,” she says. Two figures who were chatting animatedly but quietly in the corner suddenly stop and look in their direction.

“Cady! So good to see you, dear, how was your flight?” the woman says. Cady’s mother. 

“It was fine, thank you Mother,” Cady replies, tone perfectly even. Janis doesn’t like this Cady. She sounds almost robotic, speaking that way, and she’s certainly tense enough to be. “How are the preparations for the party coming?”

“As they always do,” her mother says. 

“Hello, daughter,” Cady’s father says, pulling Cady into the stiffest hug Janis has ever been privy to witness. “How has your work been going?”

“I spoke of it to you on the phone yesterday, Father,” Cady says. “The status hasn’t changed since then.” 

“Oh, yes, you did, didn’t you? Well, it matters not,” her father replies. Cady bristles at that. Janis squeezes her hand gently, not knowing what else to do. Cady’s father looks at her, suddenly, and Janis rapidly understands why Cady is so tense. God, that’s scary. “May we help you?” 

“Um…”

“Mother, Father,” Cady says before Janis is forced to say anything.

“This is Janis Sarkisian. My girlfriend.” 

Absolute silence. Janis thinks she could hear someone drop a pin on the other end of the house. Cady’s parents scan her like something out of The Incredibles, scrutinizing every detail from head to toe. Janis tried to pick a nice outfit to wear on the flight. Dark jeans without holes, her classiest boots, and a soft cream colored sweater. The sweater is Damian’s, which they seem to take issue with. Among other things.

“Hello, Janet,” Cady’s mother says after several minutes of silent staring. “Cady, might we speak with you for a moment?”

“Yes, Mother,” Cady says. Nobody moves. 

“Alone, dear?”

“Oh. Yes,” Cady says. She lets go of Janis’ hand and follows her parents to the far corner of the room. Janis turns around to look at everything in this room. More family portraits on the walls. 

They aren’t smiling in any of them. Except one. Five young boys in matching dapper suits with red ties sit in a perfect row side by side, posture perfect even in the youngest who’s clearly no older than four. 

But in the very middle sits a tiny, chubby baby; with a wide toothless smile, precious freckles on her chubby cheeks, and fiery red hair to compliment her elegant green dress. Cady. 

Janis can overhear bits and pieces of the conversation Cady’s in the middle of with her parents. She looks over without actually turning around, just out of the corner of her eye. Cady is standing a good six feet away from her parents and anxiously tapping her fingers against her arm as they’re folded protectively over her chest. 

The words “unacceptable” and “peasant” come up a few times in rapid succession from the mouth of Cady’s mother, paired with burning glares in Janis’ direction. “Heathen” and “dangerous” also come up a few times, along with a hissed, “she’ll frighten the children!” which is a first. Janis quietly delights in the unintentional compliment. 

Cady seems to be defending her; much more softly but with just as much intensity behind her words. Janis hears her spit, “You have no idea who she really is. Give her a chance.” 

Cady tugs gently on her ear then, looking to Janis out of the corner of her eye. It’s not quite the circumstance she thought they’d be using their signal in, but Janis can understand why she is. It won’t make Cady’s parents like her, but saving Cady is worth it. 

“Should I take our bags to our room?” Janis asks, coming up behind Cady and kissing her cheek. Sure enough, Cady’s parents both look quite miffed with her for interrupting their very important discussion. 

“Oh, don’t be silly, baby, we have people for that,” Cady replies, resting a warm hand against Janis’ cheek and kissing her jaw in return. Janis feels her heart flutter the slightest bit at the pet name. Stop it, this is fake.

“Oh, right,” Janis says. “I forgot. Not used to… actually being in your world.” 

“How quaint,” Cady’s father says curtly. “The two of you may go get settled in. Cady, we expect you to join us for dinner.”

“Yes, father,” Cady says quietly. She takes Janis’ hand again to lead her out of the room. “Come on.” 

“Are they always like that?” Janis whispers as Cady leads her to the… elevator?! 

“Yep,” Cady sighs. “Fronting as a caring family, frigid behind the scenes.” 

“Nice,” Janis says. “Is the rest of your family already here?”

“No,” Cady says, leaning against the elevator wall and crossing her arms over her chest. “I’m not sure of your background, or if you… come from a large family or anything. My parents can be overwhelming enough, and the house is a lot in and of itself. I wanted to be sure you’d have time to acclimate before throwing you into the den with my entire family.” 

“Oh. Thanks,” Janis says. Cady just nods and taps her fingers against her elbow.

“Here we are,” she says when the doors open with the fanciest ding Janis thinks she’s ever heard. “This way.”

Janis runs out after her, following Cady at her very brisk pace down the hall. 

“My brothers will start arriving at… I’m not sure, but some point next week with their families. I trust you checked the binder?” 

“Yeah, I did. Memorized as much of it as I could.”

“Really?” Cady asks, turning briefly to look at her over her shoulder. “I’m impressed. That was quite dense.”

“Yeah, I, er… did my best.” 

“Anything will be appreciated, I’m sure. Anyway. My brothers always spend at least a few days with us for the holidays, but we’ll be here by far the longest. So you have all the time you could want to enjoy the area. And my grandparents will probably arrive as close to Christmas day as possible. Beyond that, it’s just going to be us and my parents for quite a while.”

“Sounds nice,” Janis says. “And when are we expected to be, like, in public together?” 

“As soon as possible,” Cady sighs. “Here’s our room.”

“Holy shit,” Janis whispers. 

“Are you going to say that every time I show you something?”

“Yeah, probably.”

“Well, I’m glad I know that now,” Cady says with a faint chuckle. She heads over and falls backwards onto the bed. “We should try to do something public tomorrow, or the day after at the latest. The media’s probably already buzzing about you at the airport. We need to be seen together in person before too long.” 

“Where will we go?” Janis asks. Cady pulls herself back to a sitting position and folds her hands against her knees.

“Wherever you want,” she says with a small smile. 

——-

Janis is awake and presentable bright and early the next morning per Cady’s brief. To be fair, it’s ten in the morning, but that’s still early by Janis’ vacation standards. 

“Morning,” Cady says when Janis walks into the dining room in hopes of some breakfast. “You took a while.”

“I got lost,” Janis says sheepishly.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Cady says frantically. “I should’ve waited with you, I didn’t even think of that.”

“No, no, it’s totally fine. One of the butlers saved me. Your second parlor is really nice, by the way.”

“Thank you,” Cady says, smiling at her oddly. “I’m sure you saw some of the photos, then?”

“I did,” Janis nods. “You’re the only redhead?” 

Cady nods, tugging subconsciously on her auburn curls. Cady’s parents, and all her brothers, have dark blonde hair. Cady’s brownish-red hair is a stark contrast, to say the least. 

“I am. My paternal grandmother was a redhead too,” Cady sighs. “I hated it when I was young. And I went blonde for a time in high school, if you can believe that.”

“Really?” Janis chuckles. “Why?”

“It was… just how it went,” Cady says quietly. Janis gets the sense she shouldn’t press this further. It’s clearly an uncomfortable memory for Cady. “Bleaching it did so much damage. I’ve only just gotten it grown out to an acceptable length.” 

“What’s an acceptable length?” Janis asks. 

“This, basically,” Cady says with a shrug. “According to my mother I look uncivilized if I have it too much longer and like a heathen if it’s any shorter.”

“Your mother seems really judgmental.” 

“It… comes from a place of love,” Cady replies. “She wants the best for me and the best of me.”

“Well, if her reaction yesterday was anything to go by, I’m clearly not that.” 

“And that’s exactly the point,” Cady says with a mischievous smile. Janis smiles back. 

It’s quiet for a bit. Neither of them quite know what to say to each other now. Janis stares at the empty place on the huge wooden table in front of her, as if staring hard enough will materialize some breakfast before her eyes. To be fair, it seems a likely possibility in this house. 

“So, um… no family breakfasts?” Janis says awkwardly.

“Oh, heavens, no,” Cady says. “Everyone’s much too busy for that. Dinners are a must, but beyond that we simply eat meals whenever we have the time to. Oh, speaking of which, what would you like? The chefs will prepare you anything you could want. And if we don’t have something, we’ll send someone to fetch it.”

“Anything?” Janis questions. 

“Anything,” Cady confirms. 

“So… if I wanted… scrambled eggs but made with eggs from Japan?” Janis asks.

“We’d send word to Japan,” Cady says with a nod. “Do… is that what you want?”

Janis almost says yes, just to see how that would work. In actuality, she says, “No, no, I was just curious. Um… normal… American scrambled eggs would be fine, though.” 

“American scrambled eggs it is,” Cady says. “Anything else?” 

“No, thanks. I’m not really a big eater in the mornings,” Janis says. “Wait, is it… should I just eat what you had? I don’t want the cooks to have to make something special for me.”

“Oh, don’t be silly!” Cady says. “It’s what they’re paid to do. And I didn’t eat breakfast, anyway.”

“You didn’t?”

“I seldom do, I get so distracted,” Cady sighs. “Eggs do sound quite nice, though, I might have to request a portion of my own.” 

“How do they know what to make?” Janis asks.

“I’ll just put an order in,” Cady says like it’s obvious. Janis frowns in confusion. “To the app?” 

“You have an app?” 

“Yes, of course,” Cady says. “My brother, Clark, is quite good with programming and computers and such. So he designed an app for the servants. My mother even uses it. Much more dignified and easy to manage than yelling across the mansion, or… I don’t know, using bells or whistles or something.”

“That’s cool. I kinda would’ve thought whistles would be more your mother’s speed,” Janis says. 

“Oh, they were for years. Have you ever seen The Sound of Music?” Cady says. 

“She did not,” Janis says, jaw dropping. She has seen that movie. Damian made her watch it before he recreated the entire thing in a one man show just for her. Janis stopped letting him have white wine after that. 

“She did! We all had signals,” Cady says with a quiet giggle. “Anyway. Do you have any food allergies? The kitchens will sanitize everything to ensure you get a safe meal.”

“Um… no, I’m just lactose intolerant. But I can handle milk in small doses, so… no need to sanitize just for me,” Janis says.

“Are you sure? It’s a lengthy process, but there’s other kitchens on the premises. I wouldn’t want you to be uncomfortable,” Cady says. 

“I’m sure. As long as I don’t, like, eat a block of cheese or pint of ice cream I’ll be fine,” Janis says. 

“Alrighty then,” Cady says, pulling out her phone and entering the order. “Two scrambled eggs with no dairy. Anything to drink?” 

“Water is fine, thank you,” Janis says softly. She’s not in a restaurant, but it’s too similar for her to feel comfortable ordering anything but water. 

“And two waters. Coming right up,” Cady says. 

“That’s really cool,” Janis says, peeking at Cady’s screen. “Your brother designed this himself?”

“Yep. Clark’s never been one to accept much in the way of help with his work. He doesn’t care for our father’s business, but he’s done wonderfully with his own freelancing,” Cady says, clearly very proud of her big brother. “He designed these for use when the hotels are actually in service as hotels, but they’re still quite useful for our stays. All I have to do is say what room in the house I’d like a dish or item brought to and then wait.” 

“Sounds handy,” Janis says. Cady nods. 

“It is, quite. Anyway, it’ll be… er, about ten minutes,” she says. Janis nods. Cady nods back, and they’re back to silence. 

-

Breakfast is more than a bit awkward. Janis compliments the food, Cady smiles. Beyond that, they say nothing. 

“Oh, hey, um…” Janis says as she takes her last bite. Cady looks up from her phone expectantly. Janis drops her voice to a whisper, just to be safe. “How many people know about this?” 

“Oh,” Cady says. “You and I. My drivers, my security guards, and my lawyers.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it. It would be unbelievable if many more people than that had to keep our secret. But they’ll be the people closest to us, so I figured that would make things easier on us. Less… paranoia, I suppose.” 

“Makes sense. Um, I’m ready to go. If you are,” Janis says. 

“Are you sure?” Cady says. “Forgive me for saying so, but I’m not absolutely convinced you’re aware what you’ll be getting into once we leave the property.” 

“I know I’ll have to watch everything I say and everything I do and that I should expect at least ten sets of eyes on me at all times,” Janis says, quoting from the binder almost word for word. “And I know I’m expected to act like I’m in love with you but not too much so it’s still realistic.”

“Okay, I seem to have underestimated you,” Cady chuckles. “You really did memorize it?”

“As much as I could,” Janis nods back with a smirk. 

“Nicely done,” Cady says softly. “Then I suppose we should go.”

“My lady,” Janis says sarcastically, offering Cady one of her arms to hold onto.

“Oh, don’t you start. And I should be leading you, Miss Got Lost Half an Hour Ago.”

“Fair enough.” 

—————-

“So have you given any thought as to where you’d like to go?” Cady asks as they watch the landscape shift from isolated mansion to populated suburb to cute little downtown area. 

“Not really. I don’t really know what’s around,” Janis says. “But… it would be fun to go somewhere you’ve never been before.”

“That impish look scares me,” Cady says. 

“Nowhere dangerous. But you don’t seem like you’ve been much of anywhere around this place, quite frankly.”

“I haven’t,” Cady acknowledges. “Shall we just drive around until we find something?” 

“That’ll work,” Janis nods. 

They both settle in and look out their respective windows, on a hunt for an acceptable Christmassy date destination. Cady’s driver takes them through the winding back roads of the neighborhoods. 

“Oh,” Cady gasps suddenly. “What is that?”

“A Christmas market?” Janis says, leaning over to look out Cady’s window.

“How sweet,” Cady says. “It’s beautiful.” 

“It is,” Janis agrees. “Should we go there?”

“I suppose it’s as good a place as any,” Cady says. “Lots of people.” 

“Yeah,” Janis acknowledges around a lump in her throat. She did know in theory what she was getting into, but the reality of being seen in public with Cady is setting in now. There are a lot of people at the market. Couples, families, people running various booths, single people doing some Christmas shopping at the quaint little stalls. All of it makes for quite a crowd that has Janis shaking in her snow boots. 

She has no more time to prepare as Cady climbs out of the car and starts slowly walking towards the market. She pauses after about three feet and turns to look at Janis. 

“Are you alright?” 

“Mmhmm,” Janis hums, nodding frantically. “Yeah, I-I’m good.”

Cady tenderly picks a bit of lint off Janis’ shoulder before she takes and squeezes her hand. “You’ll be fine, I promise. It’s overwhelming the first few times, but after a while you hardly notice it.”

“I’m more worried about what the media is gonna have to say about me,” Janis says. “They’ll probably think I’m corrupting you or something.” 

“Some probably will,” Cady agrees bluntly. “But… you know what is true and what isn’t. As long as you believe that, that’s all that ever truly matters.” 

“That’s deep,” Janis says, trying to lighten the mood. 

“These people do not actually matter in the slightest, I promise you,” Cady says, slowly continuing their walk over. “You’ll be but a passing trend.” 

“That does help,” Janis says. 

“Just try to enjoy yourself,” Cady says. “This is just a normal date.”

“Date,” Janis squeaks. “Right.” 

Eventually, they’re standing smack in the middle of the center. There’s loads of shopping booths selling all sorts of holiday-related trinkets and food and other goodies to the right, a Santa for the kids to meet straight ahead, and even a few activities like ice skating and an ice slide to the left. 

“That tree is huge,” Janis says in awe.

“It is,” Cady says. “It could rival the ones my mother has brought in every year. It’s beautiful.” 

They stand and admire the very large Christmas tree for a few moments longer before they start walking over to see what the booths have for sale. 

“Oh, these little Santas are darling,” Cady says when they walk past one selling little china figurines. “My mother collects Santa figures.”

“Really?” Janis chuckles. 

“Mmhmm. She has hundreds, from everywhere,” Cady says, picking up one with a blue coat covered in snow. “Do you make these?”

“Uh… y-yeah,” the stall attendant says, blinking at Cady in awe. “Um- my-my grandmother and I do. Spend the year making them to sell here.”

“They’re so cheap!” Cady says. “You should charge more for your handiwork!” 

“I-I… we… we only charge what we need to turn a profit, ma’am,” the teenage boy says. 

“Well, that’s no way to run a business,” Cady scoffs. “What are your markups-”

“We’ll take this one, please,” Janis interrupts before Cady can interrogate the poor kid about his entire business practice. He nods frantically and carefully wraps it in bubble wrap so it won’t break. “Thank you. Merry Christmas.”

Cady protests as Janis drags her away from the booth. “Hey! I was just trying to-” 

“Cady, he clearly is not doing this for the money,” Janis says. “He’s doing it to get reactions like the one you had when you saw the figurine. To make people happy, and to do something with his grandmother to bring in a bit of extra money for his family. He doesn’t need you explaining how to turn it into a multi-million dollar Santa Claus making empire.” 

“But he really could take it so much further if he just-”

“Cady, listen, I respect you a lot,” Janis says. “But I also have the perspective of a normal person. They don’t want business talk, okay? They want you to say something nice about what they sell and buy something, maybe chat for a bit, and move on.” 

“Was I rude?” Cady asks softly. 

“…Yeah, a little,” Janis says. “Your heart is in the right place, but… give the business stuff a rest for Christmas, okay?” 

Cady is quiet, but she nods and squeezes her hand. Janis squeezes her back. 

“You okay?”

“Yes,” Cady says immediately, though she’s still looking pointedly at her boots trudging through the thin layer of snow on the brick path. “When you find somewhere natural to, kiss me.” 

“What?” Janis laughs. 

“Don’t look, but someone to our left and a bit ahead is filming,” Cady says. Janis dares to sneak a peak, and sure enough, some passerby has her phone out, shamelessly recording them in broad daylight. 

“Jesus,” Janis tuts. 

Somewhere natural. Conveniently, one of the strands of lights they pass beneath has mistletoe dangling from it. Janis pretends she’s admiring the snow fluttering down and points to the mistletoe. 

Cady smiles and stops in her tracks, grinning up at the plant as she wraps her arms around Janis’ waist and stands on her tippy toes. Janis smiles back and gently cups Cady’s neck in her hands before pulling her into a soft kiss. 

Neither of them stop smiling even when their lips meet. Janis picks Cady up and spins her around, making Cady squeal with a laugh. “Jay!”

“Jay, eh?” Janis whispers, kissing her again. She leans in to whisper in Cady’s ear. “Should I act like I don’t want to be doing this so it makes more sense when we break up?” 

Cady smiles like she’s just whispered something sweet into her ear and leans in to whisper to Janis. “No, we’ll just say you weren’t ready for the commitment.” 

“Oh, great,” Janis chuckles as Cady kisses her cheek. “Is this enough to appease the masses or should I start licking your ear or something?”

“Please don’t do that under any circumstances,” Cady giggles. “I think we’re good. Paps will start arriving seconds after she posts that video, though.”

“I think I’ll live,” Janis says. She kisses the tip of Cady’s nose for good measure, and Cady kisses her knuckles as they start walking again; looking pointedly at everything except the camera and trying to act like they never noticed it. “Can you always tell when you’re on camera?”

“Just about,” Cady says. “My security taught me tips to look out for, so now I can almost always pick out who in a crowd is either already or going to start taking photos or recording. It’s just something you come to expect after long enough.” 

“Sounds like it would get old pretty quick,” Janis says sadly.

“It does,” Cady agrees. She chuckles slightly, more a loud exhale than much else. “Every time I get dressed in the morning I have to expect billions of people around the world to see it.” 

“I’m clearly not used to that,” Janis says.

“No, you look great!” Cady says. “Professional but comfortable. It works for you.” 

“I think this is the first time I’ve seen you in anything except a suit,” Janis chuckles. 

“Hey, they always match and they always have the professionalism I should,” Cady says. “I like my suits.”

“I like them too,” Janis says. “It’s just nice to see you in something else.”

“I am much more comfortable,” Cady chuckles. “Pantsuits are itchier than you’d think.”

“I can imagine,” Janis replies. “They… er, suit you, though. So to speak.”

“Thank you,” Cady giggles. “God, this place is lovely. I can’t believe I’ve never seen it before.”

“It is really cute,” Janis says. “I’m not usually a fan of stuff like this, but this is really nice.”

“Not usually?” Cady asks. 

“I’m not really a huge Christmas person,” Janis shrugs. “Something like this probably would’ve made me nauseous in high school.” 

“Really?” Cady giggles. “What’s different about this one, then?” 

“…I’m not sure.” 

“The company?” Cady teases, knocking gently against her side. Janis turns to look at her with a smile. 

“Nah, I think this one just has a better smell.”

Cady gasps indignantly. “How rude!” 

“I’m teasing,” Janis chuckles. “Better get used to that.”

“Hmph.” 

“Oh, come on,” Janis pleads. “I know what’ll make you feel better.” 

“What are you- oh, what is that smell?” Cady says, all her anger fading as soon as she gets a whiff of warm cider and cookies. 

“Hi,” Janis greets. “Two ciders and… what kind of cookies do you like, Caddy?” 

“They all smell so nice,” Cady says. 

“Thank you, Miss Heron,” the woman behind the booth says. “It’s an honor to meet you.”

“Oh, please,” Cady says with a smile. “I’m just as honored to meet you, I’m sure.” 

“Much better,” Janis whispers in her ear. She chases it with a kiss on the cheek so it looks natural. “Have you ever had a snickerdoodle?” 

“I beg your pardon?” 

“It’s a kind of cookie, baby,” Janis chuckles. “Do you have samples?”

“Oh! Oh, um… for you, of course,” the woman says.

“Oh, no, we’ll pay for it,” Cady says immediately. 

“No, no,” she says. 

“We insist,” Cady says. 

“And I’m paying, I don’t mind,” Janis chuckles.

“What? No you aren’t,” Cady says. 

“Try me.” 

“I’m the billionaire here, honey.”

“And what are people going to say if you don’t let me pay for anything? They don’t know our history, they’ll just think I’m some random person you found on the sidewalk who’s after your money!” 

“You might as well be,” Cady says teasingly. 

“How long have y’all been together, if I may?” the woman asks as she hands Janis a snickerdoodle. 

“Going on three years,” Janis says with a smile. She takes the cookie and pinches off a chunk to give to Cady. 

“How sweet. Y’all are just darling,” the woman says. 

“Oh my god,” Cady says in awe. “This is delicious!”

“I told you,” Janis chuckles. “And thanks.” she says to the woman. “Two?”

Cady nods eagerly. “How much for the lot?” 

“Hm?” the woman replies squeakily. 

“My family would love these, how much would it be for all of them?” Cady insists. “And do you have a permanent shop somewhere? I’ll have to mention you to my father.” 

The woman looks to Janis in shock, seeming to check if Cady’s being serious. Janis has no idea, and shrugs. 

“Um… we sell the cookies for two dollars apiece, so… call it a hundred for… all of them?” the woman says hesitantly. 

Janis hands over ten to cover their ciders and cookies, and Cady forks over five hundred. 

“Oh, there’s too much-”

“Nonsense. Use the rest on your family if you’d like, or yourself. Maybe make some more of these. Did you say you have a shop?”

“Yes, I-I have a bakery with my daughter-in-law,” the woman replies. “On seventh street. Caroline’s Cookies.” 

“I’ll pass along my recommendations,” Cady says. The woman looks around, seeming quite flustered, before she just pulls the entire tray out of their warming bin and offers it to her. Cady motions one of her guards over. “Take this back to the car, please. And feel free to have one if you’d like, they’re quite delicious. Thank you, ma’am. Merry Christmas.”

“Um… Merry Christmas to you as well,” the woman says, waving in confusion as Cady and Janis pick up their more reasonably sized portions of cookie and drink and head off to continue browsing. 

“Caddy?” Cady asks as soon as they’re out of earshot of anybody. 

“Yeah. No offense, but your name is spelled weird,” Janis says.

“None taken,” Cady says. “My parents were very committed to us all having the same initials.” 

“I can tell,” Janis chuckles. “It’s cute, though. But, yeah. You’re Caddy now.”

“I like it,” Cady grins. Janis smiles back until Cady suddenly turns to her in a panic. “Oh, back there, that wasn’t rude as well?!”

“No, no,” Janis says soothingly. “Bit… odd, maybe, but not rude. If you’re gonna do anything to a small business owner, buying their entire stock of something is probably the best option.” 

“They’re so good,” Cady says around a mouthful of cookie. “Oh, dear, I know that’s rude. Excuse me.”

“Nah,” Janis chuckles. “Would almost be endearing if it wasn’t gross.” 

Cady laughs under her breath as she continues chewing, swallowing before she speaks this time. “Everything here is… amazing. And to think I never even knew it existed until today.” 

“Sometimes you just gotta stop and smell the Christmas trees,” Janis shrugs. “Lucky we found it.” 

“Lucky indeed,” Cady says. “And the Christmas trees smell wonderful.” 

“They do,” Janis agrees. “Kinda makes me want a real tree.”

“You have an artificial one, then?” Cady asks as they wind their way through the rows of Christmas trees for sale by a local tree farm. 

“Yeah. Damian and I decided a real one was too much effort for us. And it’s cheaper to just get one that’ll last a few years than blow a bunch of money on a real one that’ll just die in a month anyway.” 

“Damian?” Cady asks. Janis looks at her when she hears a slight panic in her tone. “You’re… in a relationship?!”

“No! No,” Janis says immediately. “God, no. He’s just my roommate. He’s too gay to function. And… obviously gay in the wrong direction.” 

“Oh,” Cady breathes. “God, I didn’t even think to check that.” 

“Well, now you know for next time,” Janis jokes. Cady glares at her. “And… for the record, there hasn’t been anyone.”

“Ever?”

Janis shakes her head. “I was always kind of off-beat in school, so I didn’t have many friends in the first place. And then I made the mistake of coming out when I was in eighth grade, and then I didn’t have any friends at all. So I never really had the opportunity. I had a couple flings in college, but nothing serious. And now I work too much to really have time.” 

“Oh,” Cady says. 

“What about you? If I may ask,” Janis asks softly. They’ve made sure to whisper any sensitive information, but she’s still paranoid about someone listening in. That woman filming them without a care in the world has really thrown her off her rhythm. 

“I’ve never really had much chance either,” Cady says. “Couple brief things here and there, and one girlfriend in high school. There’s more booths this way.”

Well, that’s just about the best non-answer Janis has ever gotten. She decides not to press any further and follows Cady along to look at some more little trinket stalls. 

“Do you collect anything?” Janis asks. “Like your mother?” 

“…Yes,” Cady says quietly, almost like she’s embarrassed. “I collect snow globes.” 

“That’s cute,” Janis says. Cady shrugs.

“Do you have any collections?” 

“Not… really,” Janis says. “Um… I collected state quarters in middle school, I still have my special map in my mom’s attic somewhere. Paintbrushes, I guess. I keep all of them even when I can’t use them anymore.” 

“You paint?” Cady asks softly, looking at her curiously. Janis nods and swings their interlocked hands between them slightly. 

“Yeah.” 

“Just yeah?”

“No,” Janis sighs. “I just… after I came out I was bullied, like, pretty severely. Everyone called me a space dyke because some kid asked me what I was one day and all I could think of was to say I was a space alien with four butts.”

“Clever.” 

“Yeah,” Janis chuckles. “Needless to say, it didn’t go over very well. I got pulled out of school after a while and put into art therapy. So… that’s where painting started for me.” 

Cady hums sadly. “Are you any good?” 

“I like to think so,” Janis says. “Not good enough to make anything off it, though.”

“So that’s why you work at the café?” Cady asks. Janis nods. “Hm.”

“Why were you there?” Janis asks. “When we… um… met.” 

“I’m currently working for my father,” Cady says. “All of us have. When we graduate from university, or… reach a certain age, in Clark’s case, our first job is working for him. It’s helpful to learn business strategies and how to manage things, as well as working skills in case we don’t launch our own billion-dollar enterprises someday. We do that for a year and then we’re left to our own devices.

“And he owns the café, among other businesses in the city. So he sent me along to check up on things and make sure everything was up to our standards.”

“Was it?”

“Well, there was a certain employee I mentioned among a few strong words,” Cady hums. “But I appear to have judged her too quickly.”

“She did the same,” Janis says softly. 

“Did she?” Cady asks. “Hm. We’re being followed, by the way.” 

“How do you-”

“Security gave me a signal, it’s not me being a mind reader. I can’t see backwards,” Cady giggles. “It’s nobody dangerous, this time, just some paparazzi.”

“This time?” 

“Oh, yeah. I only have security because I was kidnapped when I was seven,” Cady says like that’s perfectly normal. “We all do, now. My father’s had a few close calls with assassination attempts and such.” 

“You were kidnapped?!” 

“Only for a while. They actually treated me remarkably well,” Cady says. “I had more candy in those four hours than I’d had in my entire life previously, it was awesome. People are desperate, sometimes. Ransom is a good, quick way to earn money. They knew my father had a lot.” 

“So your father just paid them off?” Janis asks in shock. 

“Oh, heavens, no! No, of course not,” Cady chuckles. “He just called the secret service and they handled it quite quickly.”

“Like… the secret service the president gets?” 

“They were friends at the time, it was a personal favor.”

“You should write a book.”

“You should probably kiss me again,” Cady sighs. Janis kisses her mittened knuckles and looks around. 

“I have a better idea,” she says, running ahead to the sleigh rides being offered. Cady squeaks in surprise and starts running after her. “How much?”

“Up to you. All we ask is that you make a donation to our animal sanctuary if you think we do a good job,” the sleigh driver replies. “Helps us take good care of the horses and their buddies.” 

“And… and the horses are safe?” Cady asks shakily. 

“I can assure you they’re very well trained, miss. You’ll have a smooth ride,” he says. “This here is Butterscotch. She’s a little older, so she’ll give you a nice calm trip.” 

“Okay,” Cady says softly. 

“You wanna go?” Janis asks gently. Cady looks at her, and Janis can see genuine fear in her eyes. “I’ll be right there with you, it’ll be alright.” 

“I don’t like horses,” Cady mumbles.

“We don’t have to go,” Janis offers quietly. “If it makes you uncomfortable. But hundreds of people ride these every day and they’re perfectly fine.” 

“I want to,” Cady says, a bit bolder. Janis grins and kisses her cheek. 

“Good. Hop up,” she says. Cady squeals a bit as she suddenly hoists her up and into the sleigh. Janis hears camera shutters go off a ways away and hopes she doesn’t look too weird lifting Cady practically over her head. Cady pulls her into the sleigh after her and greets her with a sweet kiss as she tosses a blanket over their laps to keep warm. 

The driver sets Butterscotch off to a trot. Cady squeals in fright as they start moving, but she calms down as she gets used to it. 

“So… does it say anywhere in those contracts that we can’t get to know each other?” Janis asks after a while.

Cady looks at her oddly. “Surely you already know everything about me you’d want to.” 

“I don’t,” Janis replies. “Oh, hey. C’mere.” 

“What?” 

“Just in case,” Janis says. “You said the paparazzi are after us.” Cady still looks confused, but she does rest willingly against Janis’ shoulder. “And… now nobody but us can hear what we’re saying.” 

“Smart,” Cady says. She gently laces their fingers together and smiles down at their hands. “Now seriously, there can’t possibly be anything you don’t already know about me, I put everything…” her tone drops to almost a whisper even though nobody can hear them. “In the book.” 

“Yeah, exactly. I know book stuff. I know everything I could’ve found on the internet if I cared enough about billionaires to look you up. I know about your family, and your history, and your business, and what we were talking about earlier. But I don’t really know about you,” Janis says. “And I think if we’re gonna convince people for these three weeks, you should know a couple things about me. But I’m a lot less interesting.” 

Cady considers this before she nods gently. “Yeah, alright. Have you ever considered entering my field? You have quite a mind for business.” 

“Maybe on the surface,” Janis snorts. “I’m terrible at math, though. I think business has too many numbers for my tastes. And I thought you never wanted to see me again as soon as we’re done here.” 

“I suppose that’s fair,” Cady giggles. “Not business then. Do you actually make decent coffee?” 

“I do,” Janis nods. “Coffee, tea, hot chocolate. Basically the menu at the café, I can do pretty well.” 

“Uhhuh. And how much of that is the stock the company purchases?” 

“Your father has good taste for his companies. But it takes a skilled hand to be able to turn that into something people can actually drink,” Janis says.

“Really?” 

“No,” Janis laughs. “I push buttons on machines and it makes stuff happen.” 

“You liar, I was actually starting to believe you!” Cady chuckles back. 

“I thought that’s a big business thing, being a good liar?”

“True. You sneak,” Cady giggles. 

“I do make good stuff though. Have to make my own at home,” Janis says. 

“Hm. Interesting,” Cady hums. “Well, I suppose that was my turn. What do you want to know about me?”

Shit. What does Janis want to know? She wants to know about Cady, but… what about her? 

“Janis?” 

“Sorry, I’m thinking,” Janis says. “Um… what’s- uh… your… favorite shape?”

“My favorite shape?” Cady chuckles. “What is that gonna tell you about me?”

“You can tell a lot about a person by their favorite shape! Now come on, what is it?” 

“Circles are nice,” Cady says. “But I think… stars? I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve ever thought about it before.”

“Stars are pretty good,” Janis nods.

“So… what does that tell you about me?”

“That you… like… stars.” 

Cady rolls her eyes. “Brilliant.” 

“Well, look, it’s a lot of pressure! Not every day you get to talk to a billionaire one on one!” 

“Just pray you never become an interviewer,” Cady replies. “I will answer anything within reason. You have signed an NDA.” 

“Anything, huh?”

“Mmhmm. My turn, though,” Cady says. “What’s… something you’d never do no matter how much I offered to pay you?” 

“Skydive,” Janis says immediately. 

“Really? Not a thrill seeker, then?” Cady hums happily. “I did mean, like, between us, but that’s… good to know, I suppose.”

“Oh! Duh,” Janis says. “I thought you meant, like, in general.”

“No, no, that was a good answer!” Cady says, gently knocking against her. “What else?” 

“Hey, that’s two!”

“So you’ll get two, come on.” 

“Fine,” Janis huffs. “I won’t… like, do anything that would… hurt. Physically. Like, if you asked me to break my arm or something. Not doing that. And I won’t hurt you. And I wouldn’t… take some mystery drug that might start the apocalypse.”

“What?!” 

“I dunno what you billionaires get up to in your free time,” Janis says immediately.

“You think the apocalypse would start with a drug? And that I have it?”

“I don’t know, it could happen!” Janis defends. 

“You’re very strange,” Cady hums. 

“Says you.” 

“And rude.”

Janis just raises an eyebrow. Cady huffs and turns the other way, but she’s still firmly tucked against Janis’ side. “My turn?”

“If you must,” Cady grumbles crankily. 

“What makes you smile?” Janis asks softly. Cady tips her head up to look at her. 

“Smile?”

“Yeah,” Janis confirms. “I wanna know what kinds of things make you happy.” 

“Why?” 

“Because heaven forbid I care about you the slightest little bit over the next few weeks,” Janis teases. “I should at least know a couple things so I can do them. Make this seem realistic and everything.” 

“Oh.” Cady says softly. “Um…” 

Janis feels her heart pang the slightest bit as Cady genuinely has to think about her answer. The slight hurt only grows with every second that ticks by. 

“My nieces and nephews,” Cady says eventually. “Always make me smile. And… most of my brothers and sisters-in-law. And I watch videos of animals that are best friends when I get sad.” 

“Oh, yeah?” Janis chuckles. “Which one’s your favorite?”

“There’s a… cheetah and a golden retriever,” Cady mumbles sheepishly. “They grew up together.” 

“That’s cute,” Janis says softly. “Anything else?” 

“I like to eat. I usually smile then,” Cady says. “And I… I don’t know, beyond that.” 

“Well, we’ll just have to find some stuff, then.” 

“Yes, I suppose we will. My turn.”

“Hey, I get two questions!” 

“And you did. If you want to get technical, you got three,” Cady says. “You asked what makes me smile, what video was my favorite, and then if I had any other things.”

“Fine,” Janis pouts. “Ask away.” 

“Tell me about… erm… the friend of yours you mentioned earlier,” Cady says. 

“Damian?” 

“Yes, him,” Cady agrees in such a tone that Janis knows she immediately forgot his name. 

“Okay. I met him when I was in first grade,” Janis says. “I broke his nose.”

“You what?!” 

“He said girls couldn’t punch. I just proved him wrong,” Janis shrugs. “We were best friends after that. We grew up together. A couple other friends came and went for us, but he was always the one I could count on. When we got older we’d always be each other’s beards when we needed one and stuff. Our parents say we’re platonic soulmates.”

“And you’re both queer?” Cady asks gently.

“Yeah. I’m a lesbian and he’s the gayest man to ever walk the face of the Earth,” Janis chuckles. 

“Have you told him about this?” Cady asks. Janis tenses. Will Cady take legal action if she tells the truth? She did sign that nondisclosure agreement. But lying to Cady can’t be a good thing to do either. “It’s alright if you have. If you trust him I suppose I have to as well. And if need comes we can have him sign an NDA too.”

“He’s trustworthy. He does talk too much, but he knows not to tell anyone about this,” Janis says. “We tell each other everything, I had to. And he absolutely loves your family, by the way.” 

“He does?” Cady asks, looking up at her. 

“I think you’re more important to him than the Kardashians, and that’s saying a hell of a lot,” Janis says. Cady laughs. “He reads all the news stories and watches all your interviews and stuff. You’re definitely his favorite. You can do no wrong in his eyes.”

“Really?” Cady asks. “The news and interviews I’ve done don’t exactly portray me in a positive light.” 

“And he is beyond pissed about that,” Janis says. “Every time something new comes out that makes you look bad I’m subjected to him ranting about it while I try to do my job. He’s gone for an entire shift more than once.”

“Maybe I should have asked him to do this instead, then,” Cady says with a small smile. 

“He would’ve for your sake,” Janis snorts. “I told him I’d try to get your autograph for his Christmas present.”

“He sounds lovely,” Cady says. “Might need more than an autograph.” 

“He can be lovely when he wants to. Most of the time he’s just a pain in the ass.”

“Do you talk about all your friends so kindly?” Cady asks teasingly. 

“Yeah,” Janis chuckles. “It’s how I show affection.”

“Hm,” Cady hums. They both startle a bit when they suddenly come to a stop. They look up to see that they’ve finished their allotted loop around the downtown area already. “Oh, it’s over.” 

“See? I told you it’d be fine,” Janis says, loud enough for the driver to hear her now. “Come on, we should finish shopping and head home.” 

Janis climbs out of the sleigh first, and gently picks Cady out after her. She gives her a spin and kiss before she sets her gently on her feet. 

“Thank you,” Cady says to their driver.

“Not a problem, miss.���

“What is your goal for donations this year?” Cady asks, still making sure to stay well out of the horse’s reach. 

“We’re hoping to hit ten thousand over this season, that should get us through the next year,” he replies. “Any amount you can give is appreciated.” 

“Mm,” Cady hums pensively. “Let me make a call.” 

“Um… okay,” the driver shrugs. Janis watches as Cady steps out of earshot and pulls out her phone. She can just about make out the words ‘ten thousand’ and ‘yes, I’m serious’ from this distance. 

“Right,” Cady says as she hangs up and returns. “I obviously can’t give you that much money in person, but we can start with… oh, this,” she says, forking over another huge wad of money. “And someone from my lawyer’s office will be visiting your ranch in the coming days to make sure it’s all up to standards and give you the rest of the money, if that’s alright with you?” 

“The… the rest of the ten grand, miss?” 

“We’ll call it fifteen for luck, and in case the people here are more stingy than you’re accounting for,” Cady hums. “As long as you’ll use it to keep Butterscotch in the manner to which she’s accustomed.” 

“Most of it, absolutely,” the driver says, seeming a bit shaken by what he’s just heard. “A-are you serious, ma’am?”

“Why does everyone keep asking me that? Of course I am,” Cady sighs. “Anyway. Merry Christmas, thank you.”

“M-merry Christmas,” the driver replies, waving back at them as they head back towards the market hand in hand. 

“Are you allowed to drop this much money on random strangers?” Janis asks quietly. “This is all adding up really quick.”

“I’m a billionaire, Janis,” Cady chuckles. “What we’ve spent today is just a fraction of what I earn in a month. And to answer your question, I may do whatever I like with it once it crosses from my father’s hand to mine, thank you very much.” 

“Alrighty then,” Janis nods. 

They continue browsing the booths as they slowly start making their way back to the car. They each pick up a few things. Cady gets a small stack of books from a miniature bookstore and explains they’re all for one of her nieces. Janis picks up a few things she hopes, based on what little information the binder provided her, Cady’s family members will like. 

They dodge paparazzi as best as they can in the meantime, trying to make their conversation look more interesting than it actually is and adding in the occasional kiss or small cuddle. 

With a bottle of wintery artisan perfume for Janis’ mother, they decide to conclude their shopping for the day. 

The driver is waiting for them when they return to the car. He helps them deposit their bags of goodies into the trunk next to the cookies and opens the back door for them to climb in. 

“Well, that was satisfactory, I think,” Cady sighs as she pulls off her beanie inside the warm car. “Nicely done.” 

It’s almost odd, now, being on the other side of the large car from Cady after spending hours practically glued to her side. Or her lips. 

“Thanks,” she replies. “How often do we have to do that?” 

“Oh, not very,” Cady replies. “If we do it too often it’ll come across as fake. So… once a week at most, if that.”

“Great,” Janis sighs, slumping down in her seat. It took more out of her than she was expecting. 

“You can rest now, if you’d like. I’ll wake you up when we get back.” 

“Yes, please and thank you,” Janis hums contently, pulling off her mittens to rest over her eyes and settling in for a short cat nap. 

God, being rich is exhausting. 

—————

Janis calls Damian when they get back to the… hotel? House? Both. 

“You’re such a good actress!” Damian yells as soon as she puts the phone to her ear. She winces a bit at the loud noise directly against her eardrum. 

“What?”

“The pictures and stuff from the date you went on!” Damian says. “You guys really look like you’re in love with each other.” 

“Those are already out?” Janis asks.

“Yeah? When was the date?”

“We literally just got back,” Janis says in confusion. “I mean, it’s like a half hour drive and it took me another five minutes to get up to our room, but… like, literally just crossed the threshold.” 

“Seriously? Damn, that is quick,” Damian says. “You guys make a cute couple.” 

“Don’t get too attached,” Janis chuckles.

“Where is Cady now? Is she listening in? Are we being spied on?” 

“Not by her, but probably. I don’t think the security people trust me,” Janis says. “I’m half expecting them to give me a pat down every time I leave our room. Cady’s… working… somewhere, I dunno. She went off in another direction when we got back.”

“Weird,” Damian says.

“Nobody else is here, we don’t have to keep up appearances,” Janis replies. “So… did the pictures have, like, words? To accompany them?”

“Some,” Damian says casually.

“And am I being slandered? Dragged through the coals?” Janis asks. “I’m too scared to look for myself. You have to be my window to the outside world through all of this.” 

“I accept and I am deeply honored.” 

“You already talk like Cady does,” Janis snorts. 

“Wait, seriously?” Damian asks.

“Yeah, everyone in her family I’ve met so far talks like they’re stuck in a novel or something. Fancy words.” 

“Who have you met so far?” Damian asks. 

“Just her and her parents. Her brothers are supposed to come over the next couple weeks,” Janis says. 

“How are the ‘rents?” 

“Some of the tensest people I’ve ever seen,” Janis says. “They hate me.”

“Aren’t they supposed to?” Damian asks.

“Yeah, but not yet,” Janis replies. “What are they saying online?” 

“Um… gimme a sec,” Damian says. “Cady Heron in a relationship with… those bitches! You are not trailer trash!”

“They said that?” Janis replies, unable to hold back a laugh. “I mean, I guess I kind of am by comparison.” 

“Oh, someone on Twitter says you’re pretty,” Damian says. “Um… have you ever done crack?”

“What?!”

“Never mind,” Damian says. “Might be worth a try, though.”

“What the hell are you-”

“Definitely stay away from the internet for a while,” Damian interrupts. 

“Okay? What does that have anything to do with crack?” 

“Maybe just avoid both.”

“Noted,” Janis sighs. “Are they all that bad?”

“Most of them,” Damian says. “But hey, what do they know?” 

“You are always saying they don’t know anything,” Janis says. 

“What is she like?” Damian asks. Janis can practically see him lying on his stomach and kicking his feet back and forth like a teenage girl sharing the latest gossip. 

“She’s… she… uh…”

“Beyond words?”

“In some ways,” Janis says. “She’s just… uh… she… I-I don’t know. She’s much different than she sounded in all the news stories you read me.”

“I told you! I told you they’ve always been wrong about her, I knew it!” Damian cheers. 

“She’s… interesting. And she’s, like, surprisingly easy to make conversation with,” Janis continues. “And she seems… nice. I guess. She bought all of the snickerdoodles from a baker like it was totally normal.”

“It probably is for her,” Damian says. “Were they at least good cookies?”

“Oh, yeah,” Janis says. “Nothing on yours, but a close second.” 

“That is the correct answer,” Damian replies. “I miss you.” 

“I miss you too. It’s weird not being home,” Janis sighs. “I mean, this place is amazing, but it’s just… I dunno, not normal.” 

“It’s only one year,” Damian comforts. “And you know damn well we aren’t celebrating until you’re here.” 

“You guys are ridiculous,” Janis chuckles. “God, what does my mom have to say about all this?” 

“She doesn’t know yet,” Damian says. 

“Good.”

“She might not even find out unless one of us tells her, your mom’s never been one for social media or anything.” 

“That’s true,” Janis sighs.

“What did you tell your family?”

“That I’m spending Christmas with a girl and not to check the news for three business months.” 

“Smooooooth,” Damian replies. “You know Julie’s gonna find out.”

“I know,” Janis sighs. “I’ll think of some better way to explain this to them without getting them hounded by lawyers.”

“If today is anything to go by you’re gonna want to get on that quick.”

“It’s scary, honestly,” Janis says with an ironic chuckle. “Don’t they have to edit the pictures first?”

“Gossip waits for no man.” 

“Sadly true.” 

Janis looks up when there’s a faint knock on the door. Cady comes in behind it, but ducks back out when she sees Janis is on the phone. 

“Dame, I gotta go,” Janis says, motioning Cady back in when she peeks through a crack left in the door. “I’ll call you back later.”

“Is it her?”

“Yes,” Janis huffs with an affectionate eye roll. “Love you.”

“Tell her I say hi! And that I really admire her strength!” Damian says. “Oh, love you too. Bye.”

“Hi,” Janis sighs as she hangs up the phone and plops it into her lap. 

“Hello,” Cady greets. “Sorry for interrupting.” 

“It’s fine. Nothing important,” Janis shrugs. “Just Damian.”

“Your friend?” 

“Yeah. He says hi, by the way,” Janis chuckles. 

“How sweet. Hello back,” Cady says with a quiet giggle. 

“What’s up?”

“Bad news,” Cady sighs. “My parents want you to have dinner with us tonight.”

“Okay,” Janis says. “Is… is that it?”

“I was hoping I could save you a while longer, I did my best to get you out yesterday, but they’re absolutely insistent about tonight and-”

“Cady,” Janis chuckles. “It’s fine. Part of the deal, I’ll manage. How bad could it be?” 

—-

Janis quickly learns exactly how bad it can be. 

The first ten minutes or so pass in absolute silence, which would be nice if it didn’t feel like an omen of things to come. The only sounds are muffled (and very polite) chewing, forks hitting impossibly fancy plates, and Cady occasionally inhaling like she’s about to speak before she decides against it. 

At least the food is good. Really good. Janis is willing to bet something like this would cost her at least a hundred dollars in a restaurant. And she gets it for free every night for almost a month. 

She locks eyes with Cady across the table at one point. Cady looks back as she chews a mouthful of her salmon. Janis tries to surreptitiously shift her eyes to Cady’s parents, trying to ask if she should make conversation or something without speaking. Cady shakes her head slightly and gives a small nod in the direction of her mother. 

Janis dares to sneak a glance as she cuts off another bite of her own fish. Mrs. Heron’s eyes are firmly on her plate. Janis half expects to see it spontaneously combust under the intensity of her glare. 

Her fish isn’t faring much better. For a woman who puts such emphasis on manners and politeness, she’s absolutely mangled her poor dinner. Janis quickly learns why as she sees her sawing at the delicate fish with terrifying aggression. Aggression that Janis knows is entirely aimed at her. 

Janis jumps a bit and tries to play it off when Cady’s father suddenly clears his throat a bit and says, “So… um.”

“Janis, father,” Cady supplies quietly. 

“So, Janis, tell us about your family,” Mr. Heron continues. 

Janis freezes with her fork halfway to her mouth and politely rests it back on her plate. “Oh, um… it’s much less interesting than yours, sir. I have a little sister, she’s eighteen. Graduating high school in the spring. And then there’s my mom.”

“And your father?” Mrs. Heron asks in a tone Janis can only describe as snooty. 

“My biological father passed away when I was four,” Janis says softly. “And my stepfather is… erm, we don’t know exactly, but somewhere in Arizona. He left when I came out.” 

Mrs. Heron’s eye twitches slightly at the mere mention of a stepfather, especially an absent one. Mr. Heron seems to regret opening a conversation at all and quietly returns to his dinner. Janis looks at Cady apologetically, but she shrugs and mouths, “You tried.” 

“The salmon is amazing,” Janis says, giving another feeble attempt at… something. 

“Thank you,” Mr. Heron says when neither his wife or daughter respond. “We pride ourselves on our chefs.” 

“I see why.”

Everyone gives a small nod and continues eating. It feels almost like a scene in a movie before a car comes crashing through a wall or something else spectacularly dramatic. 

But an astounding amount of nothing happens, and the rest of the meal passes in silence. 

—-

“So. See what I mean now?” 

“Oh my god,” Janis groans as she crawls into the large bed next to her. “That felt like if I breathed wrong some nuclear missile was gonna go off or something. Tensest meal of my life.”

“You’ll want to get used to that,” Cady chuckles. 

“I’ll be able to do brain surgery after this trip. Face anything with steady hands.”

“This was actually a more pleasant dinner,” Cady says thoughtfully. “I’m honestly surprised my mother hasn’t torn into you yet.”

“Me too. I’m waiting for it every time I turn a corner,” Janis chuckles. 

“I’m sorry,” Cady says suddenly. “I don’t want you to be so… on edge.”

“Part of the job,” Janis replies. “I can handle whatever she says, I just don’t like the whole element of surprise.” 

“Are you sure? I knew I should’ve prepared you for them more-”

“Cady, it’s fine,” Janis says. “It’s three weeks. They might be taking years off my life in terms of my cardiac health every time we talk, but I’ll manage.”

“I’m very glad it’s you that bumped into me on that sidewalk.”

“Me too,” Janis says. “But you totally bumped into me.”

“I did not!” Cady scoffs.

“You did! You were off like a shot, you ran me over!” 

“Wouldn’t have been an issue if you weren’t standing in the way,” Cady huffs, crossing her arms over her chest as they both stare up at nothing in the darkness. 

“I was only in the way because I needed into the building you were catapulting yourself out of.”

“And you could’ve waited your turn!”

“The windows are tinted, I couldn’t see you until the door almost broke my nose!” Janis defends. 

“I did not almost break your nose.”

“You could’ve,” Janis pouts. “Or my ass.”

“Your ass is fine.”

“Thanks.”

“Hey!”

—————

The rest of that week passes relatively smoothly. Meals are always awkward, but Janis has close to free reign to explore the impossibly large property at her will. Damian gets lots of pictures of the mountains, and Janis takes a few extra to use as references for paintings later. 

The next Saturday, Janis gets to meet the first of Cady’s brothers. She and Cady are chatting in the parlor and munching on the (very few) leftover snickerdoodles from their date at the market. 

“Auntie Cady!” a voice calls. Janis watches as Cady smiles and turns around. She smiled with her eyes. Janis hasn’t seen that before. And god, does she want to see it again. 

“Who is this?” Cady asks, looking at a young boy and an even younger girl. 

“It’s me! It’s Lennox!” the boy says. 

“Mm,” Cady hums suspiciously. “I don’t think so. The Lenny I know is only about this tall.” She holds up a hand to demonstrate. “And he wasn’t missing any teeth!”

“I grew! And I lost my tooth, see? The tooth fairy brought me stock in Netflix!” 

“You grew?!” Cady asks like it’s the most shocking thing in the world. “Let me see. Same hair.” She ruffles it with a hand. “Same eyes. Same cute smile. Lenny?!” 

“Yeah!” Lennox says eagerly. Cady laughs and wraps him in a hug. 

“My favorite little guy, I missed you!” she says. “And if that’s Lenny, then… this must be Fifi!” 

The little girl shrieks happily as Cady picks her up and spins her around, her blonde braids whirling around behind her. 

“Hi,” Cady grins when they come to a stop, looking at the girl still in her arms.

“Hi, Auntie Cady,” the girl replies. “You gotta, um… you gotta… um… meet, um… Nomie.” 

“Oh, my god, I do,” Cady says. Janis watches in slight confusion as she kisses the little girl’s cheek and puts her back down. A woman approaches with a tiny baby in her arms. “Oh, she’s beautiful.” 

“Thank you,” the woman replies. “Naomi Charlotte.” 

“Hi, Naomi,” Cady murmurs, gently stroking the baby’s head. “Happy almost first Christmas!” 

“Do you want to hold her?”

“Can I?” Cady asks. The woman nods and gently passes the baby over. Janis is watching curiously until she feels a small finger prodding at her leg. 

“Hey,” Janis greets.

“Who are you?” Lennox asks suspiciously. The girl crosses her arms behind him like a hype man. 

“I’m Janis.”

“Oh my god,” Cady gasps. “I completely forgot! Janis, this is my nephew Lennox, and my nieces Fiona and Naomi,” she says, gesturing between the girl and the baby. “And my sister-in-law Madeleine, and my brother Callum.” 

“But who’s she?!” Lennox insists, pointing to Janis. 

“Lennox,” Callum scolds. “Manners.”

“Excuse me miss,” Lennox says politely. “Who are you?”

Callum rolls his eyes fondly. “Apologies, we’re working on it. Callum Heron, pleasure.”

“Janis Sarkisian. Same,” Janis replies, trying not to wince at the very firm handshake she receives. 

“Janis is… my girlfriend,” Cady says, walking over and smiling at her. She leans in for a kiss, which Janis returns. 

“Girlfriend?!” Madeleine says. Janis braces. Are they homophobic?  “And you didn’t tell me?! Cady! What happened to sisterhood?”

“You know how it is, Maddie,” Cady chuckles. “I’ll tell you everything over tea tomorrow. I promise.” 

“You’d better. Give me my baby back,” Madeleine says. 

“No. My Naomi,” Cady refuses, turning away when Madeline approaches to take her back. “Fine. I’ll just take… this one!” 

Fiona squeals happily as Cady picks her back up. “Auntie Cady!” 

“What?” Cady says, holding Fiona on her hip. 

“Daddy’s mean.”

“Daddy’s mean?” Cady says, grinning at her brother. “Well, we can’t have that. What did he do this time?” 

“He maked me sit in my car seat the whole entiwe time!” Fiona says in exasperation. “And! And-and he says I don’t getta have any mowe cookies!”

“No more cookies?” Cady gasps in horror. 

“Today! I said no more cookies today,” Callum huffs. “She’s already had six!” 

“Six cookies?” Cady asks, looking at the little girl just to put the whole story together. 

“Wittle cookies,” Fiona defends. 

“Little cookies,” Cady hums thoughtfully. “Well. Far be it from me to undermine your daddy’s parenting.”

“Auntie Cady!” Fiona whines. “Pwease?” 

“But I suppose,” Cady says dramatically. “That…”

“I don’t count,” Janis says, catching onto where Cady’s going with this. Something tells her getting into these kids’ good books is very important, so she offers the little girl one of the cookies she and Cady brought. “Here. I’ll undermine your dad’s parenting anytime.” 

“Thank you Miss Janis!” Fiona says eagerly, wiggling to be put down. Janis grins and accepts the offered handshake the toddler gives. 

“You’re welcome, kiddo,” Janis chuckles. Lennox gets a cookie too, and they both bounce up and down eagerly. “Sorry, Callum.”

“At least Cades gave it a rest,” Callum sighs. “Merry Christmas, baby sister.”

“Merry Christmas, big brother,” Cady replies with a conniving smile. 

“We’re gonna go get settled in. Nice to meet you, Janis,” Callum says. 

“You too,” Janis nods. 

“Auntie Cady, will you play with us?!” Lennox asks eagerly. “I brought my new fire truck!” 

“Oh my gosh, of course! But you should go get settled in with your family first. Come find me in a little bit and I promise I’ll play fire truck with you,” Cady replies. Lennox pouts the slightest bit, but he follows his father towards their rooms. She crouches down as Fiona tugs on the leg of her pants. “What’s up, Fifi?” 

“I like Miss Janis,” Fiona whispers conspiratorially. She’s not quite gotten whispering down, since everyone around can hear her. Cady smiles.

“I like her too. Go find your family,” Cady whispers back, kissing her niece’s cheek and sending her off to find her parents with a gentle pat on her back. “Sorry about that, I should’ve warned you.”

“No, it was fine. You can’t know when any social interaction is going to happen. They seem nice,” Janis says.

“Yeah,” Cady says, grinning faintly at the carpet.

“You really love those kids,” Janis says quietly. “Was cute.”

“I do,” Cady nods. “They’re exhausting, but they’re sweet kids.”

“How old are they?”

“Lenny’s six,” Cady says. “Crazy. He was born yesterday. Fifi’s three, and Naomi is… ffffffour months? Around there.” 

“Cute. Perfect spacing,” Janis chuckles. “Does anyone else have kids?” 

“Yeah, Charlie and Clif both have kids too,” Cady says. “You’ll meet them later. They’re slightly less tiring.” 

“Cool,” Janis replies. Cady smiles at her and nods. 

“Cool.”

[fruitbasketball]

wnba recap 6/23

WELCOME. TO. THE MOTHAFUCKIN. W.

AYYYYYYYY welcome back everyone we have SUCHHHHHH. a good day of hoops to cover so let’s get into it 🙏🏽

new york liberty vs. atlanta dream

good lord atlanta is ass bro like respectfully. i’ve recapped like 3-4 of their games by now and i don’t think their team efficiency has breached 40% i’m so deadass. dubbing them the asslanta dream because holy fuck HOW are you shooting a cool 16.7% from 3.

imma cut y’all some slack bc i know y’all miss rhyne rn but damn bro. let’s get it together yeah? tina charles you always do what huskies gon do. 19/7. i like it but you gotta move baby girl you gotta get traded. tina charles to golden state dear lord 💀

miss breanna stewart i am just asking for some consistency 😭😭😭 PLEASE BRO PLEASE. anyway sabrina with a double double on assists (26/11) jj double double on boards (15/11)

and liberty win because… if they didn’t it would’ve been embarrassing!! anyway!

dallas wings vs washington mystics

i say the mystics play dallas all season so that dallas get a higher pick and mystics actually win games because this is two games in a row that they bent dallas over and fucked them.

speaking of being bent over and fucked - emily. engstler. 100% from 3. 13 points 4 rebounds in 25 minutes like CAN Y’ALL FUCKIN PLAY HER??? THANK YOU GOOD GOD.

good production from the dc starting lineup except julie vanloo but she’s normally solid.

meanwhile the dallASS wings are 3-13 and have officially won less games than the mystics. tank for paige officially successful thank you dallas.

rike bro quit shooting the ball like that dawg im BEGGING you. thank you natasha howard for 26/8. arike take notes 💀 teaira mccowan don’t touch a court for a while. man y’all are embarrassing me bro this is a TEXAS TEAM CAN YOU-

i miss satou. can y’all play lou some more too?? and lani??? like DAMN!

anyway painful box to review and i’m sure painful to watch but congrats on win #4 for washington… i don’t claim dallas

connecticut sun vs seattle storm

man i swear connecticut JUST played seattle bro this league too damn small. anyway nika didn’t play so if that’s what anyone’s looking for: scroll.

everybody sleeping on sds but she had 8 assists today so y’all stay sleeping!! idgaf!! good team effort from the seattle starting lineup tho like it’s very even contribution/satisfying stat sheet yfm.

yeah i wouldn’t play sami whitcomb either so not gonna say tm ab that. jewell ily but make a 3? maybe? idk? matter of fact nobody in this game today could make a 3 like seattle shot 25% and connecticut shot fucking 14.3%. shit efficiency all around but i’ll chalk it up to good defense. i hope.

connecticut just had a bad game like nai didn’t contribute like she normally does, everyone in the starting lineup was p inefficient except for AT.

end of the day, the sun just got outplayed. they got outscored in the paint, were less efficient from all 3 levels, and got to the line more but failed to finish.

indiana fever vs. chicago sky

i know you bitches were waiting for this one

ANGEL REESE. ROTY. GIMME. THAT. SHITTTTTTTT

chicago eke out a win but what a night for the rookies. a double double for caitlin clark, a double double for the twin towers - everybody gets a double double!!

except marina mabrey. who can’t make a fucking free throw apparently. aight this is why i don’t watch chicago that white lady piss me off bro.

no actually let’s talk about this because 2-fucking-14 from the field is diabolical. i don’t care if you had 5 boards and 4 assists. YOU WERE 1-10 FROM 3!!!! QUIT TAKING THE FUCKING SHOT BRO 😭😭😭😭

chennedy carter you a dawggggg

angel reese: 25 points and 16 boards. you’re reading that right. 16 boards. DAWG behavior. she a DAWG.

indiana… hey girl :( what’s wrong :( y’all not like that??? nah fr tho respect to nalyssa smith bc going head to head w angel reese is hard and she came out of it with 13 points 7 boards and… 5 fouls but dw about that.

obv a double double for caitlin but she’s consistently been fouling these past few games which forces me to think that she is in fact playing some semblance of defense. potentially. i hope.

kristy wallace never touch a court again. that play at the end was embarrassing. it was humiliating. it was painful to watch. what is this team’s game plan bro like. can y’all screen for caitlin??? her last name is basically clutch like SET HER A FUCKING STAGGERED SCREEN??? and GET HER THE BALL!!!

anyway that was good tv i personally enjoyed myself quite a bit and there’s smth… so interesting… ab playing not like us in this specific environment. i appreciated it.

SEE Y’ALL SOON AND SEND ME YOUR THOUGHTS!!!! WE BACK BABYYYYYY

[scarlettriot]

I don't know what got into me with this Kiri thirst but here ya go.

Dom Kiri x F!Reader ft. Monoma

College AU

Warnings: Smut, Minors DNI, Dom/Sub, Unprotected Sex, Dubcon, Voyeurism, Oral (F Receiving)

WC: 1K

Listen, okay, I don't usually write dom scenarios or anything too angsty but I really wanted to write about Kiri originally taking a liking to you just because it pissed Monoma off, but then you two actually become friends and closer you and Kiri get, the meaner Monoma becomes towards you.

And when Kiri asks you to be his girlfriend a year later, Monoma calls you every horrible thing he can think of. Obviously, Kiri comforts you but he knows exactly why Monoma is lashing out, he took you from him, and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't a little proud of that.

But, you're still hurting and Kiri won't stand for that. No, Monoma has to make up for making his pretty girl cry. That's why he pulled you into the little room he knows the blonde always goes to study in.

Why he set you down on the table a couple minutes before Monoma was do to arrive, sinking between your legs to relax you. Kisses running up and down your thighs before he loses patience and dives right in. His tongue glided between your folds, flicking that little bundle of nerves and dipping fingers inside you.

He's got your thighs so tightly pressed around his head that he can barely make out your pleas for him to, keep going and please, Eiji.

And Kirishima ate you out better than ever before, better than anyone ever had. Perhaps it was because he was growing more and more excited for what was about to happen...

He was quick about undoing his belt, so fucking eager to be inside you. If he was fast enough, he could still feel your walls spasming around his cock. And, damn, we're you. So much so that Kiri was thinking he'd have to do this with you more often.

When the door squeaked open Kiri had your lower half off the table, your legs hooked to his arms while he slammed into you over and over again. Monoma hadn't stepped in the room but he met those blue eyes through the crack in the door. The perv was watching and somehow that made the whole thing better.

"Say my name, baby."

He was so glad he looked down at you then, completely fucked out with glassy eyes, hips bruising yours. "Come on, who's fuckin' you this good?"

"Y-you are."

"No, sweetie, say my name."

You said each syllable of his name between a thrust, "Ei-ji-ro."

"Again."

"Ei-ji-ro."

"Again."

He picked up the pace, making you say his name faster and faster while Monoma still looked on.

"Eiji!" Your nails dug into his flesh, back arching up off the table.

"Cum on this dick, baby girl. If you do, you'll get your reward."

Of course, Kiri ran this whole thing by you days ago because the last thing he wanted was to make you uncomfortable. He enjoyed watching Monoma squirm but not at your expense. He'd been thrilled when you'd agreed to the idea of him fucking you while Monoma watched, cumming right inside.

You tightened around him with a strangled cry and tears pricking your eyes as he fucked your faster and harder, not giving you any time to recoup. Instead, you babbled about how good he felt, how full you wanted to be.

"Oh, don't you worry, little one, you'll be stuffed so full when I'm done with you."

"Gimme it, Ei, wanna be full."

He couldn't hold back, not when you looked like you did, not with another set of eyes watching the two of you. Kiri kept true to his word and filled you completely, rope after rope coating you leaving a white ring around the base of his cock since he kept fucking it deeper into you.

"Get in here." Red eyes shooting up at the blue pair at the door, "Now."

Neither of you really expected Monoma to actually listen but you'd discussed it just in case. Kiri wanted him to make up for what he'd done to you and you sure as hell weren't going to get it by conventional means.

Monoma walks in and shuts the door behind him, the sound of the lock clicking into place. "Enjoy the show?" Monoma didn't answer. "Gods, you really didn't deserve one. Been such an ass to my pretty girl," Kiri kissed your forehead. "I think you owe her an apology, Monoma. Why don't you get down there and eat her out and you better make her cum. It's the least you can do after being such a fucking ass."

Blue eyes went wide but he doesn't step away, rather walks up between your legs Kiri still had parted. Your boyfriend moved behind you, watchful eyes over your shoulder as Monoma tentatively licked some of the cum off your leg.

"Don't tease, just get to work."

Kiri's fingers toyed with your tits while Monoma started sucking your folds, the combination of orgasms now running down his chin thanks to him using his tongue trying to remove any and all traces of Kirishima's cum within you, basically trying to fuck you on his tongue.

You squirmed, trying to get friction where you needed it but Monoma wasn't paying attention, he couldn't read your ques but, Kiri always could.

He walked behind the blonde, running fingers from the base of his scalp to the crown of his head, and tugged those locks back pulling him off of you. "You're doing it wrong. Can't you see this isn't doing it for her? Stop worrying about yourself and that boner of yours and make her cum."

Minutes ticked by and soon you were begging for Kiri to help, you needed him, Monoma couldn't do things the way he did.

"Move." The redhead barked, "Can't believe you finally get a chance to satisfy the person you've had a crush on for a year and you can't even make her cum." Kiri's thumb lightly circled your clit and it had you whimpering with relief. "'S alright, baby girl, I'll make sure he learns. He's got a lot to make up for after all."