#just like you can not like to eat jellyfish

[ohpossuhm]

even the replies to a jellyfish post can be rage bait if youre a me and filled with rage all the time/lh

(very rambly btw)

if something is 95%water you process the water as water, the 5% thats protein is protein, aside from the water in a jellies body, its literally like, 99.99% protein.

watermelon is 92%water

and people just hating on it as a food rubs me the wrong way in general, given its significance in several asian countries. no one is eating only jellyfish for the rest of their life unless youre a sea turtle in which case even you will eat a few plastic bags as well.

even if its just a fun texture snack and they did have 0 nutritional value who gives a single fuck, you shouldnt demand no one eat it or try to discredit it as a food at all- and also also no ones forcing you to try it, if its not your thing thats fine, typically the species being eaten (probably not 100% i wouldnt know, im not claiming to be some expert im just a guy who reads articles and a book sometimes) arent endangered. and if whatever species theyre talking about is endangered then its a entirely seperate conversation needing to be had not the nutritional value or culinary value

so many of the responses just felt very ethnocentric, unwilling to look at these several cultures thatve been doing it for hundreds or thousands of years completely writing it off

theres so many different ways to eat jellyfish too, saw one person saying “put that in the oven itll just evaporate” well if you dont want that dont put it in the damn oven! i dunno jellyfish crisps sounds pretty fun tho- ive mostly seen/heard of it in stir fry or noodle or raw so idk what theyre on about.

like i get it, people dont like new things anf thats so incredibly fine, its just a problemmm when you try to recruit people to your opinion as morally or in this case i guess nutritionally superior? it was phrasd a little poorly so i would consider it a little moral too tbh- but instead try this “oh i dont like that but you might” or “im not interesting in trying that but i wont be making anyone feel like they shouldnt try it” personally i dont wanna eat bugs for the texture, but fuck id try it once, especially if the texture issue was removed via turning it into a burger or cricket flour and into bread

i would fuck up a cricket burger tbh i love burgers

read some thing a whiiile ago about mixing cricket and beef to make burgers and the tasters couldnt tell the difference until it was 20%beef 80%cricket- thats probably a way over simplification of whatever they actually tried- i also think it was not a scientific study just some people making burgers

bugs are more efficient protein in terms of production- ie i give yiu 10lbs of corn u give me 8 lbs of cricket OR just 1 lbs of cow

if we wanna talk about overlooked sources of protein,,, fucking;

bugs are where its at dude

but jellyfish are good too! everyone’s food doesnt have to look the same and id argue it really really shouldnt

i love burgers i would kill 1,000,000 crickets for a burger

[royalreef]

POINT AND LAUGH AT THE LANDFOLK GETTING STUNG BY JELLYFISH. SUCKS TO BE YOU.

[potpiehead]

quick googling showed that nonspecific "Jellyfish" has 5.5 grams of protein per 100g when dried which is not good but it may depend on the species or something. I don't want to um actually on that post when I just got this info from google in 5 seconds but something to consider

[emile-hides]

Are the Jellyfish of Splatsville okay, actually?

[catboyfurina]

I want to pewpew with venti but hes level 60mand soooopopo killable so instead of pewpew he just Dies. This is so sad id say venti play despacitp but hes fucken Dead

[orcelito]

Love seeing a "What will you refuse to eat" kind of thing bc there r plenty of foods I don't like, but I also have a Try Everything disease which means I want to try everything. Including things not meant to be eaten (like raw boba or plain espresso beans lol). & even foods I don't like, every so often I will try them again Just In Case, bc with like salsa and salad I used to hate them.but now I love them. So I've tried olives multiple times, I've tried salmon and other fish, & im just like "hmmm that's still a no for me" but I will probably try them again. Someday. Such is my nature.

[foxstens]

goumand is so op

[harrysfolklore]

spill your guts or fill your guts

all i have to say is, i miss this man so much

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

When Harry told you that the Late Late Show asked him to do the 'Spill Your Guts or Fill Your Guts' segment with you as the guest, you didn't think twice before accepting the invitation.

However, as you sat in front of a table full of plates with bizarre and disgusting food, your boyfriend in front of you ready to ask you uncomfortable questions and cameras rolling catching your every reaction, you started to regret considering it in the first place.

"How are you feeling about this?" Harry asked when the cheers and applause died down, giving you his million dollar smile that made everyone drool over him.

"I can't believe I agreed to do this." You said shaking your head as you adjusted your top, giving a nervous smile to the audience.

Harry turned his head to the camera before speaking, "This is our first time, playing the game I mean," he smirked for a second, making the audience cheer and shake your head again, "And the last time we will do it also, right love?" and the blush didn't fail to appear in your cheeks at the pet name, because no matter how long you and Harry had been together, he could still make you blush like the first time.

"Right, indeed," you nodded your head, "Let's take a look at the food we have on the table."

"Okay so, we have Bug Trifle," Harry said and the audience instantly let out a collective sound of disgust, "Yeah ew," he mimicked making you laugh and he smiled slightly because your nerves were slowly fading away, "Jellyfish," the audience groaned again and Harry couldn't help himself before he mimicked them one more time "Yeah, ugh!" you laughed again as he continued naming the food for the game, that consisted in giant water scorpion, 1,000 year old eggnog, cow blood and pork tongue jelly, cod sperm, salmon smoothie and bull penis. 

"So I'll ask the first question, the producers have not shown us these ahead of time, and before I choose the food you'll have to eat I want to say something," Harry paused to look at the camera for a minute before turning to you again, "I love you babe, I consider myself a good boyfriend, and I hope I'm still a good boyfriend after this," the audience erupted in cheers and howls, and the blush rushed into your cheeks again, "That being said, let's start with the 1,000 year old eggnog."

"Nooo!" you couldn't help but squeal when the food was placed in front of you, "You know I love you too but you might end up taking the couch tonight!" Harry chuckled and the audience laughed along with him, "Is the cinnamon supposed to make this any better?" you grabbed the cinnamon stick making a disgusted face at the drink.

"Give it a sniff." Harry spread his arms as it was the most obvious thing.

"Why?" you asked but sniffed the drink anyway, "Oh my god! That's disgusting!" Harry laughed and you felt the urge to throw up without even tasting it yet.

"Come on love, It's gonna be fine," Harry sent you a wink and you rolled your eyes with affection, "Ready?" 

"No! But let's get this over with."

"Okay," Harry said as he grabbed the card to read the first question, and when he let out a devilish laugh you knew you were in for a ride, "You are great friends with the girls from BlackPink, you have been on tour together and released multiple collaborations, rank the members Jennie, Lisa, Jisoo and Rosé."

He finished the question and the audience erupted in screams and cheers, it was no secret that you and the BlackPink girls were the best of friends and they were dying to hear your answer.

You grabbed the cup and moved it close to your face scrunching your nose at the smell, "Hold on, I think I can answer it," Harry raised his brow and tilted his head at you before you continued, "I mean, I love all of them so much, and this doesn't mean I love any of them any less, It's just based on how close-"

"Drink the eggnog." Harry interrupted your rant making the audience laugh.

"Noooo!" you protested, refusing to drink the beverage, "Okay, it would be like, Jennie, Rosé, Jisoo and Lisa."

You said quickly and instantly covered your face in embarrassment, even thought the girls would understand that it's all part of the game.

"Whoo!" Harry said laughing and putting an amused face, "That was controversial, love."

"Oh shut up, It's your turn."

"Alright, now you choose something for me that I would have to eat." 

"I'll do the sperm." you said turning the table to place the food in front of him.

"Okay."

"Here you go."

"Okay." he said again and the crowd laughed for a minute.

"Just so all you know, this is exactly how an argument between us looks like, me yelling like a maniac and him just saying okay," the audience laughed again and Harry just shook his head and shrugged his shoulders.

"Alright," you said before clearing your throat and grabbing the card with his question, "Oh I'm dying to know this," your smirked before continuing, "Which songs on your One Direction albums are about me?"

Harry instantly covered his eyes and started laughing at the question, over the years fans have speculated about songs by the band were about you, since Harry confirmed he had a crush on you ever since you were on tour together.

With the crowd cheering and your expectantly look on him, Harry grabbed the napkin that was on the table to put it on his neck and try to cut the cod sperm, "Sooo, I would say track number-"

"No! Answer it or eat it!" you interrupted him and he had no other choice but to grab a piece with the fork that instantly made him make a disgusted face.

"Just don't look at it."

"Oh yeah, that fixes everything. Just don't look at it!" Harry sassed at you, "What we doing?" he looked at the camera almost in disbelief.

"This was your idea! Now go," and with a final look at you, he put the cod sperm on his mouth and started chewing it, looking directly at the camera as he did it.

"Just swallow it, why do you keep chewing on it."

"To spit or to swallow, that is the question," and the crowd broke down in laughs again at his cheekiness as he spit the cod sperm on the bucket beside him, "Really carries an aftertaste, fancy a kiss, love?" he tried to stand up and you stopped him immediately.

 "Nope! No kissing until we wash our mouths properly!"

"Okay so, I'll give you the salmon smoothie now."

And if Harry wasn't your boyfriend that you loved him so much and you weren't on live television, you swore you could murder him on the spot for giving you the food that you hated the most.

"Why are you doing this to me? You know I hate salmon."

"Come on love, I'm putting you up for a challenge," you rolled your eyes and he smiled before grabbing the card with your question, "Okay, you were part of Versace's newest campaign alongside some of the most popular supermodels in the world, who was the most unlikable out of all of them?"

"I have the answer. I can't say it, though," and without further notice, you grabbed the glass and took a big gulp of the salmon smoothie, feeling disgusted when the flavor hit your tongue and grabbing a glass of water to erase the aftertaste.

"Watching you drink that made me feel sick." Harry handed you his napkin and you wiped your mouth as you looked around the table to choose the next food for him.

"Okay, I'll give you the bug trifle," you grabbed the card with the question, "We have been dating for three years now, do you see yourself dating me for another three years?" 

"That's easy, yes," he shrugged and the audience went nuts at his confession, and your cheeks were blushing again as your heart melted.

"You're such a sap, and on national television too!" you teased him and he srugged again.

"I'm just a boy who's in love, can you blame me?" The crowd awed and you rolled your eyes as you encouraged him to give you your next food.

"I think we're going to go with bull penis," he cheekily smiled for a moment, "Yeah, bull penis. You ready?"

"No, but you could go."

"It's just bull penis," he said as he grabbed the next card, and when he read what was on it he instantly let out a mischievous laugh that made you nervous about what was coming, "Okay, who is the most surprising celeb to ever slide into your DMs?"

"Who is he?" Harry yelled after a few minutes of silence from you and you laughed at his antics, "That's information I must know, babe."

"I feel like I can say it, right?"

"You're telling me who was it off camera anyway, so?"

"Shut up!" you paused for a moment to think about if you should whether or not reveal that the most surprising celebrity that tried to hit on you via Instagram was no other than Liam Payne, your boyfriend's former bandmate, even tho he knew that you and Harry were happily in a relationship and you couldn't be less interested.

 "I think I'm eating the penis," deciding to be a nice person and not embarrass him on national television, you said and grabbed a piece of it to put in your mouth, "Oh my god! That was disgusting."

You grabbed the bucket beside you and threw the piece in as Harry laughed.

"Just so we're clear, however was that bloke, I hope you know she's taken, by me." Harry shrugged and gave the camera an innocent look.

"For your last question I'm giving you... the scorpion thing," you read his question and it was your turn to give him a devilish look, "Between Louis, Liam, Niall and Zayn rank their solo-"

And before you could even finish the question, Harry already had the giant scorpion on his mouth, making you, the audience on set and his thousands of fans watching at home scream and laugh.

He spat on the bucket after chewing for a minute, took a big gulp of water and wiped his mouth before turning to the camera to wrap up the segment.

"That was 'Spill your guts or fill your guts', we'll be right back with more of the Late Late Show!"

[wizzard890]

So there’s a trend that I absolutely hate in online discussions of (non-satirical) genre, particularly genre that’s influenced by the gothic. This trend makes my eyes roll back in my head until I can see through my own skull. It makes me want to bite a car in half. It makes me want to step into the jellyfish tank at the New York Aquarium and beg for the sweet sweet annihilation of a thousand stings. 

I call this trend: Oh Just Be Sensible, and it goes like this:

“Why do vampires always end up covered in blood when they feed, I don’t spill soup all down the front of my shirt when I eat dinner. Real toddler energy.”

“Why do people always cut their hands to swear oaths, everyone knows it would hurt way less on the [insert body part with fewer nerve endings]”

“Vampires shouldn’t be feeding from people’s wrists, it damages the tendons, if doctors don’t take your blood from your wrist, vampires shouldn’t either! No one will be able to flex their fingers the next day.”

(This comes up a lot with vampires, I mention, as I stride purposefully into the glistening mass of jellyfish.)

There are direct answers for some of these when it comes to the practical visual language of a particular medium (for example, you cut your hand on stage / on set because you can hold a blood pack in there, and even if you don’t have an effect, the gesture and its purpose can be discerned from the nosebleeds) but what really gets me is how thematically boneheaded this sort of observation is. 

Like, let’s go down the list here. 

Why do vampires end up covered in their victims’ blood? Well Scoob, do you think it could maybe have something to do with their bestial, inhuman nature? Or with the erotic and sensual abandon with which they can approach violence, now that they’re untethered from human morals? 

Why do people cut their hands to swear oaths? Aside from what I mentioned above, do you think maybe it’s because it adds a layer of gravity to see two people swearing an oath to one another with blood dripping from their clasped hands? Do you think it’s maybe to evoke a unity of body, something greater and more primal than a unity of word? Or maybe to remind us of the dire consequences of breaking a blood oath?

Why are authors having vampires feed from people’s wrists if it damages their tendons? Damn, maybe that’s because it’s where the pulse is. You know, the pulse? The heartblood, the thing that races when you’re scared or turned on or both? The thing that stutters when you’re close to death and could, should the author choose, ring in the vampire’s ears like a chime or a great pounding thunderclap. Maybe in a story about undead beings who drink blood, we can sacrifice a bit of sensible reality in order to enforce the emotion and thematic heft of a scene? 

Images like these communicate what is happening between two characters, not just the events that are transpiring! No one making stories forgot to consider ~sensible~ little observations, because it would be absolutely inane to consider an observation with the creative value of a wet paper towel. This stuff is part of our visual language for a reason! Themes also need to be communicated! 

God, like, okay, I’m exhausted and the aquarium staff keeps yelling at me when they find me here, but let me just wrap up by saying that relationships, character and meaning are expressed in so many ways beyond dialogue or internal monologue, and those expressions are so rarely sensible. 

(Also all this shit looks cool as hell, do you really want your protagonists swearing to die for one another by dabbing their slightly bleeding elbows together, grow up.)

[specshroom]

Here me out for mer stuff

Maybe human is shipwrecked and a mer (perhaps one that keeps treasures like an octopus) saving you and keeping you in a little underground cave with an airbubble until you get better but you both start getting closer... maybe they become obsessed with you

You're stuck in the cold and a seal person or penguin person offers their body heat to you since it's very insulating... and theres otherways for them to make you even warmer

Getting passed around a pod of dolphins and otters cause they're very sexual and otters hold onto you as you rest between round since they hold hands with partners

Electric eels/lungfish giving you little shocks as it coils around you.

A deep sea angler lady with a hynotizing glow that wants you to be a part of her with all the other men she's absorbed.

A jellyfish who's tentacles secrete aphrodisiacs instead

Urchins with a super soft underbelly!!

A clam trapping you in their shell or an anemone keeping you within it

Betta fish wrapping you in their fins

Also imagine perhaps a parasite or amoeba from the water entering and forming a symbiosis with you... you have a bf in your head that speaks with you and though he can't touch you he can make you feel things by messing with your brain and bodily functions

Tha k u for entertaining me

ANON YOU'RE A MIND READER! I WAS JUST THINKING OF DOING A MARINE HYBRID POST!

It was gonna be like an addition to the bird hybrid post but I was having major writers block and I couldn't think of fuckall.

BUT YOU! UR SO BIG BRAINED OMG.

My faves were the:

• Octopus hoarding reader like treasure 🥺

• The electric eel shocks! Yesss

• I fucking hate dolphins cus they scare me but Otters on the other hand are soooo cute. Passing you around and just snuggling you into their soft fur when u need a quick nap. Have you seen the videos of otters massaging each other? Yes exactly like that.

• ooooh I just know the angler fish and the jellyfish hybrids would be so scary and intimidating in such a sexy way, uknow? Like "Oooo am I gonna eat you or fuck you? Oooo let's find out"

• The amoeba boyfriend is very interesting 🤔 especially since u can't really break up lmao. How would u even have disagreements? Because he's basically you? I definitely want to revisit this idea.

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

TGCF couples at the beach

Because i want to go to the beach so bad rn

HuaLian:

Hua Cheng isnt too fond of the sun or the water but gege said he'd like to go so they're going.

Everything is fancy and luxurious, only the best for gege.

A large beach bed with a canopy, drinks and snacks served at all times, the whole nine yards.

He wears those fancy sunscreen lotions with foreign names cause he may be dead but he also burns easily and turns into a big baby about it.

Xie Lian insists they dont need to do all that and can just chill in the sand with a towel, which Hua Cheng finds preposterous.

They have a big ass umbrella over the canopy bed too cause the sun is a deadly laser.

So much affection - cuddling, kissing, being all sweet and lovey, feeding each other watermelon and gathering seashells

Theyre sickeningly sweet

Hua Cheng is able to keep his hands to himself for about 5 seconds max

If there are any noisy kids or families around, Hua Cheng sends Yin Yu to scare them off

(They take Yin Yu with for this express purpise but hey free all inclusive vacation, a win is a win)

Xie Lian never burns ever and refuses to wear sunscreen. Hua Cheng pouts about it because 1) dont want gege to get a sunburn and 2) cant teasingly rub lotion over him smh

Hua Cheng builds one of those fancy sand statues of Xie Lian and he thinks its the most romantic thing ever

It is

So many kisses in the water and swimming together all lovey

Hua Cheng is never seen not drinking a margarita

"You do not need to keep your swim trunks that low, San Lang." "Gege, tan lines are terrible."

BeefLeaf

SQX cant get He Xuan out of the water once they arrive to the beach. Nope. That is his habitat now. He belongs to the fishes.

SQX rents out beach chairs by the bar because how can one tan without a drink in hand?

Skimpy swimsuits because SQX also abides by the tan lines are the devil mentality

Manages to get He Xuan out of the water with the promise of ice cream

Talking shit about everyone around while eating ice cream and drinking martinis

So many seashells. He Xuan gives them to SQX as an offering aw

"XuanXuan you cant drown people that say indecent things about me!" "Who says" "the law??"

He Xuan brings SQX little fish he catches if they look colorful or pretty

"XuanXuan, put some tanning oil on my back!" And He Xuan spends like 10 mins trying to find the correct bottle because SQX brought like 50 and the tanning oil SQX wants looks like literally every other bottle there

So many selfies

He Xuan digs tunnels in the sand whenever he isnt in the water. SQX has to talk him into not using the Earth Master shovel

Theyre checking out hot people together

He Xuan puts on sunglasses to pretend he isnt staring at SQX

"XuanXuan you cant throw jellyfish at children!!"

SQX flirts their way into free drinks and He Xuan broods about it but also he is deeply in debt so he can't turn down free shit lmao

FengQing

Arguing, so much arguing, but hey thats their love language

"Thats a shit spot for a towel" "okay find a better one then" "here!" "Thats like a foot away whats the difference??"

Feng Xin refuses to put on sunscreen cause he thinks its not manly

"You cant beat the fucking sun, Feng Xin!"

Mu Qing refuses to get his hair wet. Feng Xin makes it a point to dunk him in the water at least once

Feng Xin falls asleep in the sun like an old man and Mu Qing draws dicks on him with sunscreen lmfao

They argue about who goes to get drinks and snacks and just end up going together

Feng Xin insists to exclusively drink beer until he tries one of Mu Qing's deadly cocktail combinations and hes hooked. He insists they add a little umbrella to his drink now so he and Mu Qing match

Sand castles competition turned chasing into the waves turned underwater kisses

Mu Qing judges everyone and Feng Xin cant help adding in to the commentary because its surprisingly entertaining

Beach sports! Theyre so competitive too so its extra fun and they make bets over everything

[stars-unaligned]

Laios who wants to be a big intimidating monster and his s/o whose desire is to be a jelly fish.

Laios: but that’s boring.

y/n: i wanna just float around, no decisions, no brain.

laios: but how can we be together when you’re a jellyfish? i don’t have anything to scoop you up and carry you.

*and after many deep conversations, they settled with you being something like a remora to a shark. not hurting him but chilling by his side as he eats other monsters.*

[unluckilyimnot]

Hiii!! I loooooveee your blog so much!! Every time I see your notifications, I get like SUPER HAPPY!! It really makes my day!! AND SOMEHOW I DIDN'T SEE THAT YOUR REQUESTS ARE OPEN?? Could you do the types of dates kurona, otoya, and karasu from bluelock would go to? ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Date with kurona, otoya, karasu, isagi, rin

m.list | rules

Note: Hiiiii omg your message make me so happy thank you sm 🤍 I hope it's what you expected

Kurona

He would loves outside date

Things like aquarium and parks, which is chill but you can still have fun and take great pictures

He changes his lockscreen all the time

He's kinda shy with pda but if you take his hand while walking around the aquarium he would love it a lot

He can stay a lot of time around jellyfish, the color it captivating

He can be loud around bigger animals like sharks or tortoises

Absolutely wants a matching keychain with both your favorite animals

He's most likely to play around if you're in places like parks so he would initiate contacts more

But he also like to take a plaid and lay down with you while toi read or just make fun about people around you

He would never be mean but likes to play along

Tag with along with some ice cream or a very fresh drink and you have a perfect date for him

Otoya

He tries to impress you even if you're already dating lmao

Would try to teach you how go skate

So you can fall into his arms or cling onto him

It's a good excuse to touch you outside

But he would really love to do it with you so he takes it seriously, don't worry

He would feel bad if you get hurt tho

He wouldn't say it out loud but you notice how super serious he'd become

He has a good sense of style so he would like to go shopping as well !

Window shopping is something he really likes

Add a coffee to the equation and he's the happiest!

Really to hear you talk about style and how you could style a piece with what you already have

Karasu

On the other hand, karasu knows he has nothing to prove

So he'll be chill about date

Don't get it wrong: he will plain it on every part and regularly (if not all the time)

And he wants to win your heart over and over again

But he also know that you love him and that staying inside with a movie only is enough

Yet he prefers to make it better like baking while watching a Disney movie!

Bonus point if you make something from the movie

Or while watching an old sitcom

Be prepared to have flour on your nose and for him to kiss it away

Rin

Football date, tell me he wouldn't

He takes you with him to see the matches of his favorite team

Or just with a pizza (for once) at home

He probably prefers date at home in fact

Even if he's not against it if you want so to something outside

Horror movie marathon

This is a routine, you have one every week, that's his cheating moment of the week

He stays up late, eat junk-food with you and don't get up early next morning

He loves it so much to be honest

His arm is around you all the time, pulling you against him if you're scared

He can also hide his face in your hair if needed

Bonus point if you fell asleep in his arms

Isagi

He would love taking a walk around the town and go see museum or important location

Like he read something about a place and he wanted to go check with you !

If you like historical places as well he's in heaven

I swear he falls in love again I'd you know some things and tell him as a cute funfair about the place

The type to find cute coffee shop that are not crown or trending

So be prepared ! He wants to try them all

And if you're a coffee or tea lover he simply needs to hear how you feel about it

His insta feed is mostly you on date and some pictures of the place (along with football)

I hope you liked it !

[luxthestrange]

G.I Incorrect Quotes#109 Beach day more like B!tch day-

Ayato: Hey guys, what do you think about making that beach trip an annual thing?~

Y/n, Itto, and Gorou: No!

Takuya: Alright, that’s it, you guys. What happened out there?

Y/n: What? We took a walk~ Nothing happened. I came back with nothing all over me...

Takuya: What does that mean?

Ayato: Come on, what happened? Itto?

Itto: Alright...

Y/n: No. Itto, we swore we’d never tell!

Gorou: They’ll never understand.

Itto: But we have to say something. We have to get it out. It’s eating me alive.

Itto: Y/n got stung by a jellyfish!

Y/n: Alright! I got stung... Stung bad! I couldn’t stand...I- I couldn’t walk...

Gorou: We were two miles from the house. We were scared and alone. We didn’t think we could make it-

Y/n: I was in too much pain!

Itto: And I was tired from digging a huge hole!

Gorou: And then Itto remembered something- Itto: I’d seen this thing in the Discovery magazines!

Ayato: Wait a minute, I saw that!-On the Discovery Magazine Yeah, about jellyfish and how if you— EW! You peed on yourself?

Takuya and Thoma: EW!!

Y/n: You can’t say that! You don’t know! I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain. Anyway, I tried, but I couldn’t... bend that way. So...

Ayato,Thoma and Takuya look slowly at Itto who puffs his chest proudly

Ayato, Takuya, and Thoma: Ew!

Itto: That’s right!? I stepped up. They’re my compadre and they needed help! If I had to, I’d pee on any one of you!?!

Itto: Only, uh, I couldn’t... I got stage fright...I wanted to help but there was too much pressure. So, I, um, I turned to Gorou-

Gorou SCREAMS into his palms as he hides his face, shocking the gang, he whimpers with ears down and tail tucked

Gorou: Itto kept screaming at me!?! “Do it now. Do it. Do it now!” Sometimes, late at night, I can still hear the screaming!?!

Itto*Wheezes and looks at the gang with a grin*-That’s because sometimes I just do it through my wall to freak you out-

[we-do-be-writing]

Swimming with the Jellies

Sebastian (Stardew Valley) x Reader

It was your first year in Pelican Town, and Lewis had invited you to the Dance of the Moonlight Jellies festival. When you asked the other villagers about the event, many expressed their love for the tranquil night of celebrating the jellyfish migration. However, Sam's eyes twinkled with mischief, and he told you this would be one to remember.

You had pushed this from the front of your mind and had almost forgotten as you walked onto the beach. You greet villagers as you pass by, heading down to the far end of the pier to find Sam, Abigail, and Sebastian. Waving hello to the trio of friends, you move next to Sebastian and give him a little smile.

Ever since you moved to the Valley, you have been absolutely smitten with the frog and fantasy-loving programmer. Unfortunately, you could not gain his trust enough to have him as a dance partner at the Flower Dance, but you understood his hesitation. Nonetheless, you continued to crush on him, giving him gifts at least once a week.

"Hey Sebastian, here's an earth crystal I found in the mines."

"Hey! I accidentally brewed an extra cup of coffee this morning, here you go."

"Sebastian! I heard you were working on something important, so I brought you a sashimi. Make sure you take a break to eat!"

You only hoped he didn't think your gifts were overbearing, but he didn't reject them and seemed genuinely grateful, making you hopeful. Still, you weren't going to push him, taking it slow as Abigail informed you that Sebastian didn't exactly have a lot of experience.

Before you can speak to the man, Sam waves you over to the other side of the pier. Walking over, you see the same twinkle as earlier and become a little wary of what the skateboarder is scheming.

"What if I push Sebastian into the water?" Sam whispers.

"Considering jellyfish are about to come near the pier, and who knows if they're deadly, that might not be a good idea." You respond, crinkling your eyebrows at the thought of Sebastian being stung.

He reassures you, but you can't help feeling unsure. You raise an eyebrow at him, and Sam holds up his hands in a surrender gesture.

Returning to Sebastian, you sit on the edge of the pier, ensuring your feet don't touch the water. He follows suit, making himself comfortable, resting his hands by his sides. You glance to your left and see his fingers almost touching yours. With your heartbeat thundering in your ears, you take a deep breath and turn to him.

Your attempt at starting a conversation gets cut short abruptly as you watch Sebastian go flying into the water, Sam's hands pushing him right off the edge.

Chaos follows as people start shouting, and the mixed voices of Abigail, Robin, and Jodi chastising Sam.

Clearly, they have Sam covered, so you focus on Sebastian, who just popped up from beneath the water. Based on his numerous rejections to swimming this Summer, you can only imagine that he gained his swimming skills when catching frogs.

You shake your head to clear your mind of these curiosities and immediately grab the pier's edge with one hand, extending your other to the man. He tightly grasps around your wrist, and you can see the surprise on his face as you haul him back to the safety of the wood. Now soaking wet, he ruffles his hair to remove the clinging water, and you can tell he's forcing down the shivers.

He insists that he's fine, pushing aside everyone's worried comments. Abigail takes a quick glance at you, and it's clear that she has something on her mind. You only hope it's not as dangerous as Sam's plan.

"How about Y/n takes him home, so he can warm up." She suggests.

Before anyone can respond, you chime in with an "I'd be happy to, Haley can show me pictures tomorrow."

Although she doesn't exactly understand your liking of the isolated man, Haley gives you a little wink and ushers you two from the pier. You don't see it, but she and Abigail share a little low-five as they settle next to each other. Perhaps this is the start of a beautiful friendship...

Nonetheless, you and Sebastian make your way to his home in the Mountains. Still, he's suppressing the shivers, but the way he rubs his hands against his arms tells you all you need to know.

Getting to his home, you both descend the stairs to his room, a new place for you. See, you've been working on building his trust for you, but you've never been invited into his room. Of course, you wish it was in different circumstances, but you'll take the win.

"Um, I'll grab a warm drink while you change." You say, turning on your heel to go back up the stairs. Sebastian hums his agreement, and you continue on your quest, finding some apple cider that you quickly heat up.

Bringing two mugs carefully downstairs, you push open the door to find Sebastian's shirtless back turned your way. He looks over, hearing the door creak, and notices your slightly wide-eyed look.

He clears his throat as a blush coats his pale skin before he speaks, "Whatcha got there?"

"I found some apple cider that I warmed up, I hope that's alright." You say, handing him a mug as you avert your gaze, "sorry for walking in unannounced."

"Meh, it's alright," He replies, taking a sip of the drink, "thanks for the cider."

"Of course, I guess I'll leave you to it." You begin to walk backwards towards the door.

"Hey," He says, walking up to you and bending down a little to catch your eyes, "you can stay if you want. Everyone else is going to be at the festival, and I could use your company after my brush with death."

You laugh at his dramatics, making eye contact with him again, trying not to draw out how your eyes travel up his chest first.

"Plus, you made a cup for yourself... unless they're both for me." He hands you the other mug and you mentally smack your forehead for forgetting that.

"Yeah, that's a good point."

You two sit on the couch in his room, warming up as you sip from the apple cider. The silence is comfortable, something that's a little hard to find in the busy Valley. Looking over, Sebastian starts to doze off, sinking further into the cushions.

Quietly, you take the cup from his hands and set it on his desk. As you go to get up, Sebastian's fingers gently grasp wrist again.

"Sorry, didn't mean to fall asleep." He mumbles, rubbing his eyes with his other hand.

"It's no problem, you've had a chaotic night. I was just going to grab a blanket." You respond, to which he nods his head.

Grabbing the blanket from his bed, you wrap it around him as he curls up further on the couch.

"You can stay," he says with a raspy voice, "I'm awake."

He very clearly was not staying awake much longer, but you don't mind. Taking your seat beside him again, you feel his arm sling over you as he covers you with the blanket as well.

You expect him to move his arm, but Sebastian seems content with where it is as you feel more of his body weight lean against you. Being very aware that the sleepy man is likely not thinking straight and his chest is still quite bare, you can't help the blush on your cheeks.

Not wanting to disturb him, you shift slightly to get more comfortable and hug your arms lightly around his body on top of the blanket. Listening to Sebastian's content breathing and feeling the warmth from his renewed body heat slowly lulls you into sleep.

Neither of you hears the front door swing open or Robin descending the stairs and opening the door to check on her son, meaning you miss the soft smile that graces her lips.

[crow-n-tell]

Hello! I want to say I adore your Jellyfish!Sun and Kraken!Moon so much! <3 They are so cute.

I saw the character sheets you posted of them recently, and was curious about something. For Moon there are red spots marked DANGER for his elbows and wrists. I understand the other parts, but what makes these places so dangerous? :0

THANK YOU! you’re too nice!!!

As for your question, I don’t want to spoil for the comic just yet… but let’s just say that while the safety charts can seem obvious in some areas, but they’re not totally accurate. If it was accurate it would be more like this:

Because these guys are huge, and even if they are nice to humans they aren’t exactly eating krill. So this chart:

Is more reader’s perspective than anything. Suns lower half is borderline lethal, so it’s a danger zone reader avoids; but sun also has a massive mouth full of teeth and yet it’s a green zone, that’s weird right? Reader must trust he won’t bite at them. With moon it’s the same, if the answer isn’t obvious then there’s something about those spots that the reader just doesn’t feel safe in touching :)

Here’s a visual that might shed light on that: