#just my tuppence of course

[yennefer-x-tissaia]

Oh my god, how just HOW do I relized it just now that Yennefer controlled the most uncontrollable magic of any chaos magic! The people are warned of fire magic, it is destructive, dangerous and almost uncontrollable. Of course Yennefer pays the price for the using of fire magic when she oses her chaos. But can we please talk about the fact there still was control in all that chaos?! It's uncontrollable but she still could manage to protect Tissaia! The fire rained down like hellfire on everything in front of her EXCEPT Tissaia. In all that chaos she find enough control to protect her and don't let a single flame touch her. And I really don't know what I love more about that fact. That she is strong enough to did that or that it was Tissaia who gave her that strength.

But I know what I hated. That they NEVER talked about it again. They just run over the fract that Tissaia was the only survivor on that field between all those burned ones because Yennefer wanted her to live. Needed her to live. And this is just- Nah.

Yeah, I felt like it definitely warranted a bit of a follow-up conversation. I assume that's why it's mentioned in a lot of fics. Fic writers resolve it, but the show didn't. It was such a big deal. It was the big set piece in the finale of the season. In a show called The Witcher, the big battle of the season was won not by Geralt, but by Yennefer, who was fighting for Tissaia, and who carved out a little cocoon of safety for her in the midst of a ferocious outpouring of chaos. (That she's never let go of to that extent before.) That should have been addressed at some point. We should have had a 'You saved me' moment from Tissaia. And not just the fairly bland 'You are a hero to me and many others'.

The whole reunion ep, while it had some great lines and scenes, fell a bit flat for me. I never really understood Tissaia's motivations for a lot of what she did in season 2 to be honest. And season 3 just handwaved a lot of it, so it was pointless anyway.

Like, Yennefer literally had wanted posters out for her, but she can just waltz back into Aretuza at Tissaia's say so? Why, then, could Tissaia not just insist she didn't need to kill Cahir and could stay in the first place?

Tissaia puts a bounty on Ciri's head? That gets one line in season 3 and a not very convincing answer - something to do with not assuming her movivations were so basic. What were they, then, Tissaia??

Anyway, it is what it is. That's why we have fic.

[mamawasatesttube]

a tuppence for your bi4bi Clois thoughts 🪙... I'm luv them so much and I'd love to hear if you have any specific headcanons about them 🥺

YESSSS!!! i DO have some thoughts. i love them,

generally i think lois has her bisexuality figured out by the time she's in her mid-20s. she and cat grant have had some rage-filled makeouts on at least one occasion, but an actual relationship would never in a million years work out between them. they respect each other but do not see eye to eye nearly enough. she never bothered to come out to her father, but just knows it's one more thing about her that he'd hate.

clark, by contrast, does Not have it figured out. he has spent his entire life repressing every single thought, feeling, and ability that set him apart from the classic good all-american boy because he had to fit in. and being superman, exploring his kryptonian heritage, etc., has helped, of course, but he is still. so repressed. he has no idea that he's ever experienced attraction to guys before. he's got some internalized homophobia to work through, about himself. He Has To Be Normal. so as far as he's concerned, there was lana, and then there was lois.

to me, clark's journey toward self-acceptance is very intrinsically tied to his family. there's kara, talking about how sexuality and gender stuff on krypton wasn't like it is on earth, especially in western culture. there's kon, suffering through his own repression and depression and trying to pretend he's fine. there's chris and jon, both too young to fully grasp it all (probably), who make clark incredibly aware of every step he makes in terms of parenting them.

so one day, after kon's finally come out to the family, and kara's muddled through trying to figure out earth labels that she's comfortable with, the two of them decide they wanna go to pride, and ask lois and clark if they want to make it a family affair. lois says hell yeah, and clark says yes of course he's happy to support them! and jon says YAY, GLITTER!! CAN I GET STICKERS? and chris says if you get glitter all over my nintendo ds again i will punt you into the ocean, baby brother or not.

and there's just this innocuous moment while they're out when kon goes "here i got you these!" and hands lois and clark two simple lil heart-shaped bi flag buttons. and lois is like aw thanks squirt! and ruffles kon's hair. clark meanwhile goes oh i think there's been a misunderstanding... ... . . . .. . .. .. . or. has there?

and that night he's just sitting on the edge of the bed holding this tiny like $3 button in his hands having a whole crisis. lois hooks her chin over his shoulder and asks what's wrong? and he's like. lois i'm not. i'm. except maybe i'm not not. but i don't know, i thought i... i never thought i could think about it. clark kent is supposed to be normal. i... i'm already an alien, lois, i thought i was already set apart enough, and if i'm... if i'm this, even when i'm clark, not superman, then... then...

and lois digs her matching little $3 bi flag heart button out of her purse and bumps it against his and says, even if you are queer, you're still not alone. and then clark gives her the patented kent family big soft puppy-dog eyes. that night, he falls asleep in her arms with his head tucked snugly under her chin. it's where he feels safest.

but the next year, he lets kara get him a flag, and lets kon tie it around his shoulders like a cape. and he's here as clark kent, but it's kind of funny when he looks at his shadow. because he might not be superman right now, but the silhouette still looks the same.

[oldshrewsburyian]

For your ask game: Joan Plowright, Francesa Annis, Robert Hardy, Jeremy Brett and Derek Jacobi; in Miss Fisher, Campion, Poirot, either Wimsey series. You decide who goes in what, please disregard age/time issues.

Derek Jacobi would, I suspect, have an absolutely marvelous time as Uncle Paul. But if I'm trying to fit him into the chronology of the existing ones: give him an effervescent cameo as Wellers-the-F.O.-man who gives all the journalists a speech to which they daren't not listen. I barely know Wellers but I like him so much.

I could see Tommy-and-Tuppence-era Francesca Annis as Meg Elginbrodde in Tiger in the Smoke, actually.

Robert Hardy did such a great line in Horrible Old Men; he could be one of the Poirot patriarchs (but I'd actually love to see him as the complicated and charismatic Sir Hubert Handsley in A Man Lay Dead, or the scheming Jonathan Small in Death and the Dancing Footman, if I may be allowed an Alleyn interpolation.)

Joan Plowright for the Duchess in The Case of the Definite Article (notorious in her day.)

I would add more gratuitous Gilbert and Sullivan into Miss Fisher just so that Jeremy Brett could do it. Give him a whole number before we get to the murderous part of the plot. It's more than we deserve, but wouldn't it be a delight? I'm picturing "My Gallant Crew/I am the Captain of the Pinafore." But he would also, of course, be magnificent as Sir Joseph Porter.

[jechristine]

As a Brit, my personal take on Tom is that he's not anti-intellectual, he's just an English "bloke", with extra empathy (thanks Nikki 🙂). The phrase "artsy-fartsy" has less to do with culture and intellectualism, and more to do with attitude. It's about pretentiousness, self-absorption, snobbishness, entitlement etc. Those traits that can be rolled-up into that wonderful English description of being "up-yourself". Probably the worst insult a "bloke" can receive. And no doubt one he has had to contend with, given his background, and interests in dance and drama. I doubt very much if Tom has any deep philosophical stance on intellectualism. I think he has a pretty old-fashioned set of values. Listening to his sincere comments regarding his great appreciation of the knowledge and technical abilities of his crew members, I suspect he has the traditionally "Bloke-ish" deep respect for "men in brown coats" and "boffins". He's nerdish. "Blokes", historically, didn't delve too deeply into existential concerns. They were "practical" men, who had unshakable convictions, a solid moral code and grounded expectations regarding the life they could expect to live. They're a dying breed. I think Tom tries to come from that perspective, and that's why he considers himself the "luckiest man in the world". I think that perspective does, however, tend to constrain the ability to interpret the world in a more complex, nuanced way, limit trust in abstruse arguments out-with direct experience (Anti-intelectualism, or healthy cynicism? "The Brittish Public are sick of "experts" who get it wrong" 😏 Maybe we need a better education regarding what constitutes an "expert" opinion, and what "getting it wrong" is, then), and prossibly explains his struggles with SM angst; an arena where empathy and "bloke-ishness" will get you slaughtered. I can see why he so appreciates Z and her more experienced,"hard-headed" attitude, there. Of course, from a "culture wars" standpoint, it's obvious why the UK establishment promotes anti-intellectualism. And while I am not in favor of a person being excessively intolerant towards novel ideas, and the notion that not all opinions are equal, I do wonder if, on balance, in this world of conspiracy theories, fake news and disinformation, the "Bloke-ish" tendency towards focusing locally, on the pragmatic, might not be the worst thing 🤔

Anyway - that's my tuppence worth 😏

Thanks for this—I appreciate the history and etymology. What you describe sounds similar to what we Americans mean when we say “middle America” (or some say “real America”🙄). Here at least these kinds of people are always stereotyped as white people in small-town diners who have had limited interactions with people with different life experiences, cultural perspectives, and value systems. You give a very generous and positive spin that I probably wouldn’t extend to the American counterparts.

[rolorules]

Random Rolo Ramblings 4: Worst Staffing Choice Ever!

In @rolotouto’s latest post the question was brought up why Lelouch chose Rolo of all people to “rescue” Nunnally (as plays out in Turn 18: Final Battle Tokyo II). I would like to give my tuppence on this issue after pondering it a little (mostly from memory) and hope other people will add theirs. I apologise for being a bit repetitive, I already wrote some of the following before, in slightly different words, but since this came up again, I’ll jump on the occasion. 

First of all, Rolo is of course pretty suited for the job, there is his Geass, he probably has some fighting skills (even though he does not really need them), at least he knows how to use a gun. He is also a capable pilot, which comes in particularly handy for this mission. 

Then there is the fact that he his very loyal to Lelouch. The latter may even be convinced that his authority and his sway over Rolo are enough to ensure that Rolo will do as he is told. It may even be possible (but I am really not sure about that) that Lelouch simply underestimates Rolo’s fear of Nunnally’s return or cannot even be bothered to consider his feelings. Besides, Sayoko has also been assigned to this mission, so maybe Lelouch thinks her presence is enough of a safeguard. (He could not be more mistaken.)

And finally, speaking of Sayoko, we have to realise that Lelouch did not have  many options. Rolo and Sayoko are more or less the only ones that are loyal to Lelouch, not Zero (apart from Jeremiah, who is busy fighting Suzaku , C.C. is incapacitated at this point). The Black Knights think this mission is about rescuing Kallen and maybe kidnapping, sorry, arresting the Governor General. (In fact, they are only just learning about Lelouch’s true identity and Asahina even wants to go in and arrest Rolo).

All in all, Lelouch’s choice is at least understandable, albeit ill advised. Or is it? Probably yes, but it is still interesting to notice that, like Lelouch, who professes that he wants to kill Rolo, but never does (”I keep missing my chance!” Really?!), Rolo seems to be stalling. Why does he not kill Nunnally on the spot and gets a KnightMare Frame first to “escort” the escape craft? Does he want to avoid a confrontation with Sayoko? She could not really stop him. Or does he think it looks more inconspicuous if the craft gets “mysteriously” destroyed in the fray by an “enemy” KMF?

Or is he, at least subconsciously, afraid of Lelouch’s reaction to Nunnally’s death? When he believes that Nunnally was killed by the F.L.E.J.A. and a shaken Lelouch calls him, he understands Lelouch’s condition and at least tries to break the news to him as gently as possible (”Nunnally was inside of that light...”), before telling him directly when Lelouch refuses to catch his drift. Could he not also have anticipated this reaction in the case of him killing Nunnally? At least he should have.

Opinions?

[mzannthropy]

My mind can really work in some type of way.

I just had a thought about Emma Watson appearing in an Agatha Christie adaptation (because in Three Act Tragedy there is a character called Hermione) and it just makes so much sense to me that she should be in one! So, Agatha Christie has a lot of young women characters who find themselves solving a mystery. Victoria of They Came to Baghdad, Frankie from Why Didn’t They Ask Evans (which has just been adapted), Emily in The Sittaford Mystery, Anne in The Man in the Brown Suit, etc etc. I think Emma would be great at one of those roles. There is, of course, the best known of all, Tuppence Beresford (though she’s only young in the first two books, as she and Tommy actually age, unlike Poirot and Marple). So I’m thinking, what if Emma played Tuppence? The David Walliams series a few years ago was not really much, we could do with a new, better adaptation. So who would play Tommy, I’m thinking, so I’m thinking what if Emma was reunited with her HP boyfriend, Rupert Grint? And you know what, Tommy is a redhead like Rupert!

[apocalypticavolition]

Let's (re)Read The Hobbit! Chapter 8

Sorry for the slight delay, folks. I had a migraine a few days ago and it just absolutely wiped me.

They walked in single file.

Much like another organization of their equivalent combat prowess, amirite? Or was that the Sand People? It's been so long. I need to rewatch Star Wars, but not the shitty remastered versions.

But the eyes that he liked the least were horrible pale bulbous sort of eyes. “Insect eyes,” he thought, “not animal eyes, only they are much too big.”

I wonder if Middle Earth had a lot more oxygen in the atmosphere to support such abominations or what. Also, there's really not much to mock with this chapter thus far - the building unease and tension is exactly what should be happening and the book's not undercutting it by infodumping or going too far... yet. We'll see if that keeps up in this long chapter.

They tried shooting at the squirrels, and they wasted many arrows before they managed to bring one down on the path. But when they roasted it, it proved horrible to taste, and they shot no more squirrels.

I dunno, hunger is the best sauce. But then, nuts grown in elf water probably don't encourage good meat.

“What’s the good of that? The boat is sure to be tied up, even if we could hook it, which I doubt.”

You know what you guys should be worrying about? Who owns the boat and why they left it here. But you're not going to do that, are you?

“How far away do you think it is?” asked Thorin, for by now they knew Bilbo had the sharpest eyes among them.

Note again that Bilbo is the real MVP. Thorin retains usefulness mostly by delegating effectively.

“Dori is the strongest, but Fili is the youngest and still has the best sight,” said Thorin.

Is this the first time that Fili isn't mentioned alongside Kili?

“I’m always last and I don’t like it,” said Bombur. “It’s somebody else’s turn today.” “You should not be so fat. As you are, you must be with the last and lightest boatload. Don’t start grumbling against orders, or something bad will happen to you.”

Fuck off Tolkien.

“That was a good pull, my lads; and a good job that our rope was the stronger.”

Stronger than elven rope? It seems impossible.

Thorin was the only one who had kept his feet and his wits. As soon as they had landed he had bent his bow and fitted an arrow in case any hidden guardian of the boat appeared. Now he sent a swift and sure shot into the leaping beast.

Okay boys, we know y'all have fairy tales, so why are you being dumb and shooting sacred forest guardians? This never ends well for the shooter.

They were still standing over him, cursing their ill luck, and Bombur’s clumsiness, and lamenting the loss of the boat which made it impossible for them to go back and look for the hart, when they became aware of the dim blowing of horns in the wood and the sound as of dogs baying far off.

Okay point of order, Bombur wasn't clumsy, he was nearly jumped by the hart. Also look at that, the consequences of their actions are showing up.

“Stop! stop!” shouted Thorin; but it was too late, the excited dwarves had wasted their last arrows, and now the bows that Beorn had given them were useless.

Note that Bombur, who is unconscious, did not participate in this stupidity.

Of course “somebody” meant Bilbo.

I hope these dwarves are ashamed of how useless they've been so far. Crew coulda just sent Bilbo and an atlas and the story would only be different in the sense that he would have made fewer enemies along the way.

They did not care tuppence about the butterflies, and were only made more angry when he told them of the beautiful breeze, which they were too heavy to climb up and feel.

The dwarves are also against good environmental description, which is a shame because this chapter has it in spades, though it is starting to drag just a little.

“I was having such beautiful dreams. I dreamed I was walking in a forest rather like this one, only lit with torches on the trees and lamps swinging from the branches and fires burning on the ground; and there was a great feast going on, going on for ever. A woodland king was there with a crown of leaves, and there was a merry singing, and I could not count or describe the things there were to eat and drink.”

I wonder how much of this magic Tolkien intended to be kind of real in some way, as if Bombur's presence really was with the woodland king, and how much was just foreshadowing. It's too fairy tale to fit the overall world, but it seems like it should mean something.

This they did all that day, going very slowly and wearily; while Bombur kept on wailing that his legs would not carry him and that he wanted to lie down and sleep.

On the one hand, this only happened to Bombur because Tolkien hates him for being fat. On the other hand, it's extremely annoying. I'm not sure how to adjust my Bombur rankings as a result.

No sooner had the first stepped into the clearing than all the lights went out as if by magic.

Mirkwood elves are somehow even more dickish than the Rivendell kind. I see right away why dwarves aren't remotely fond of them.

“I was having such a lovely dream,” he grumbled, “all about having a most gorgeous dinner.”

Interesting that he passes out when it's just him but the feast disappears altogether when it's the group. Is Bilbo more welcome to the feast because he's not a dwarf? But then why let Bombur dream about the party at all?

But the cries of the others got steadily further and fainter, and though after a while it seemed to him they changed to yells and cries for help in the far distance, all noise at last died right away, and he was left alone in complete silence and darkness.

Is this a punishment for bringing the dwarves along? Poor hungry dwarves thinking that the third try would be any different. They should have just tried to eat more squirrels instead, except of course they wasted all their arrows like scrubs.

So he sat himself down with his back to a tree, and not for the last time fell to thinking of his far-distant hobbit-hole with its beautiful pantries.

Keep your eyes open folks, we gotta find that last time!

He beat the creature off with his hands—it was trying to poison him to keep him quiet, as small spiders do to flies—until he remembered his sword and drew it out.

Don't know why anyone would want to read about competent heroes when Bilbo's exploits are so much funnier.

Bilbo came at it before it could disappear and stuck it with his sword right in the eyes.

He must have been aiming for something else based on his track record.

“I will give you a name,” he said to it, “and I shall call you Sting.”

And now that Sting has a name we can officially make it the competent member of the party! But also, Bilbo totally earned this.

“O! why did we not remember Beorn’s advice, and Gandalf’s!”

Because you were pretty much starving. I'd give you shit for it in literally any other circumstance Bilbo, but not that one.

Their voices were a sort of thin creaking and hissing, but he could make out many of the words that they said.

So Wargs have their own language even though they're allied with speakers of the common tongue, but Spiders, who presumably have no allies whatsoever, are perfectly understandable to Hobbits? It's another fairy tale moment in the story.

To the fattest of these bundles the spider went—“It is poor old Bombur, I’ll bet,” thought Bilbo—and nipped hard at the nose that stuck out. There was a muffled yelp inside, and a toe shot up and kicked the spider straight and hard. There was life in Bombur still.

One of the advantages to size is that it takes more to dose a fella, so points to Bombur!

Bilbo was a pretty fair shot with a stone, and it did not take him long to find a nice smooth egg-shaped one that fitted his hand cosily. As a boy he used to practise throwing stones at things, until rabbits and squirrels, and even birds, got out of his way as quick as lightning if they saw him stoop; and even grownup he had still spent a deal of his time at quoits, dart-throwing, shooting at the wand, bowls, ninepins and other quiet games of the aiming and throwing sort—indeed he could do lots of things, besides blowing smoke-rings, asking riddles and cooking, that I haven’t had time to tell you about.

Props to Tolkien for explaining why the genteel Bilbo can throw but not climb or swim. Feels a bit like a D&D player trying to justify an odd stat spread too, so that's another thing Gygax stole.

Not very good perhaps, but then you must remember that he had to make it up himself, on the spur of a very awkward moment.

He did better than the elves, who clearly made up a song in the spur of a moment that wouldn't have been awkward if they'd kept their mouths shut.

The spiders saw the sword, though I don’t suppose they knew what it was, and at once the whole lot of them came hurrying after the hobbit along the ground and the branches, hairy legs waving, nippers and spinners snapping, eyes popping, full of froth and rage.

First of all if I have to read this spider description, you do too. But second of all, how often does the ring fail to cover accessories and weaponry going forward? I don't know that Frodo gets very stabby in stealth mode but I'm not sure. On the other hand, this follows the same principle as the Nazgul where you have to have a foot in the material world to be able to affect the material world (otherwise they'd just wander around invisibly stabbing everything that looked like it might thwart Sauron's plans).

“Most likely Fili,” he thought by the tip of a long nose poking out of the winding threads.

Poor Kili will never be his own person, will he? (The sentence two paragraphs from now doesn't count.)

Suddenly Bilbo noticed that some of the spiders had gathered round old Bombur on the floor, and had tied him up again and were dragging him away.

It just sucks to be Bombur. Poor guy.

There they were at last, twelve of them counting poor old Bombur, who was being propped up on either side by his cousin Bifur, and his brother Bofur; and Bilbo was dancing about and waving his Sting; and hundreds of angry spiders were goggling at them all round and about and above. It looked pretty hopeless.

Shouldn't there be fourteen, since the whole point of adding Bilbo to the party was to AVOID 13? Who is missing? (It's Thorin, though sadly the narrative doesn't quite mention every other dwarf before they realize what's up.)

“I am going to disappear,” he said.

Dammit Bilbo, this is no time to emulate Gand- Oh right you mean the ring. Heh. It would be funny if Gandalf's ring made him invisible too and instead of ditching the party all the time he was actually just chilling, blowing air-colored smoke rings and laughing quietly.

Balin in particular insisted on having the Gollum story, riddles and all, told all over again, with the ring in its proper place.

Which let Bilbo really enforce his bullshit lies, I suppose. Shame Gandalf wasn't present to call him out.

All except Balin. Long after the others had stopped talking and shut their eyes, he kept on muttering and chuckling to himself.

Balin retains his best dwarf status for finding his getting bested like this absolutely hilarious.

All of a sudden Dwalin opened an eye, and looked round at them. “Where is Thorin?” he asked.

Ah yes here we go, that's why there's 12. Little jerks should respect their king!

All this was well known to every dwarf, though Thorin’s family had had nothing to do with the old quarrel I have spoken of. Consequently Thorin was angry at their treatment of him, when they took their spell off him and he came to his senses; and also he was determined that no word of gold or jewels should be dragged out of him.

Tolkien says the Wood-Elves aren't wicked and then talks about how thousands of years ago they tried to steal honest laborers out of their pay and got pissy when the laborers took it. Now they're still upset and blame all dwarves, even Thorin, though he had nothing to do with this justice. I'm not sure Tolkien knows what wickedness is.

“But what brought you into the forest at all?” asked the king angrily. At that Thorin shut his mouth and would not say another word.

Thorin shoulda just said Gandalf.

There in the king’s dungeon poor Thorin lay; and after he had got over his thankfulness for bread and meat and water, he began to wonder what had become of his unfortunate friends. It was not very long before he discovered; but that belongs to the next chapter and the beginning of another adventure in which the hobbit again showed his usefulness.

And here's the end of another chapter, one of the longest in the books. The spider fights (the latter of which I didn't quote much as it's just tense and exciting) and general horror of the forest are quite nice, so overall I appprove after the last couple of weaker chapters, but I do think there could have been a little trimming here and there. We're more than halfway through now though, and the chapters really get smaller, so expect that tension to really bubble up.

[spiltcandycoatedpunkblood]

R.e. your most recent post about the Tintin series....

As much as I sympathise and want to just give you a huge hug, pain like that can be good (not always, since that's all too often used to justify abuse, but sometimes). It might help you to try and take a step back and think about why you feel that way.

To use the 2011 film as an allegory, it seems (to me at least) like you're in a situation akin that moment in the final confrontation between Haddock and Saccharine where he's threatening to burn the notes and telling Haddock to just give up and start drinking again. As shitty an experience as being hurt by something/someone you love is, it says a lot about you as a person that you feel deeply enough about something to be affected by it in that way.

But that's just my tuppence worth. Sending you hugs and comforting thoughts.

I know. But like the film, it feels like a curse and me and my family have dealt with that mental health kind of stuff. It's nice to feel so deeply about something that I care about, but I can't deny that I feel so much to the point of physical pain. Like I can't breathe. It made me an easier target for bullies at school which then they made me feel terrible for being upset so easily. I had an ex be very guilty of doing that to me as well.

I do think this film represents a lot of my life, and it's hard not to point to it when I get so emotional. It was released during a pivotal time in my life, and not in the good sense, and when watching it over lockdown, it just made so much sense to me.

The dynamics can hit too close to home. Of course they can't address deeper emotions in detail, since they went off the more chaotic and adventurous and fast-paced aspect of Tintin's adventures since he literally gets thrown into these perilous and dangerous situations, often down to his curiosity taking over far too easily.

But I still read it in an emotional sense. There's too much injustice in this world, especially with the way I've dived into true crime cases that remained untouched and unsolved purely often because of corruption, prejudice and power. And seeing that on screen, with the insane conflict in my head with the sometimes not so unreasonable allure of the villain Sakharine, it was just the main example of what he did and the heavy implications of just exactly how him and the mutinous crew abused Haddock when we didn't see it. It didn't help that I was treated badly in two different regards by older men, of which some traits were reflected in Sakharine. Being taken advantage of has left me conflicted and undeniably passionate, however much I want to be (especially as someone with undiagnosed ADHD and autism), about seeing the terrible treatment of others, and the fact that I obsess over that harbour scene near the end of the film is a very good example of that.

It's just too much to deal with, even if done in such an excellent manner. I don't want to feel this tremendously upset, even if I know that it's good that I feel very deeply about the injustices I've read up on and become very aware of in the world. It just sucks that Tintin is something I'm very attached to, and yet renders me an overemotional mess because of what it presents and how it does that that I become unhealthily avoidant in the process. I don't need this conflict, I don't need this painful as fuck emotion that I've experienced pretty much my whole life that I've been abused for. It feels like a curse, and I want to scream. Things aren't cut and dried, but I still wish differently. It's just...how do you explain this to people???

I do understand where you're coming from. I guess in a way it's interesting that that is resolved is by Tintin coming in and saving him, but that shouldn't be expected in real life, even though that's how I shamefully feel daily. Even though I wish, in my mind, that didn't happen either, because I'm far too invested with the villain to even want that, and that is another overwhelming conflict and emotion that I don't need either.

Pain isn't always for a good reason, and I just don't want to feel like it is. I'm tired, and sometimes pain is just pain, and I hate feeling constantly overwhelmed even with a good thing in my life that reminds me that these people have existed, do exist, and will continue to exist until the end of time itself.

[dietraumerei]

Weekly Update

Fuck, and I cannot stress this enough, the time change. I do not care which time we land on (although I slightly prefer DST), just please please stop making me switch twice a year aaaaaaaaahhhh

(doing laundry and going for a walk did not improve my mood a whole lot)

Writing

[for the why, see last week’s update if you missed it. also i found this on a real, live clipart website. and they say the internet is dead.]

Reading

I finished Celia Paul’s Letters to Gwen John, which was eerie and beautiful and gave me a minor artistic breakdown, but also I loved it; the letters were dreamy and thoughtful, equally about Gwen and Celia. (I find Celia a little hard to take, but I think if you spend a decade as Lucian Freud’s lover, you get to be a little hard to take.) Also, cameos from my beloved Hilton Als!! (And one other cameo that I don’t want to spoil here because it’s so strange and lovely.)

I also read Sleeping Murder, picking it up on a whim that I wanted to read Agatha Christie. It reads a bit like Tommy and Tuppence meet Miss Marple (Gwenda is extremely Tuppence-like), but of course I quite enjoyed it; I foresee a little Christie spree coming on.

[darkhorse-javert]

A bit maudlin tonight and just musing...

Foyle's war spoilers ahead...

How very very VERY much I wanted Sam to say yes to Andrew’s proposal in 'All Clear'

Even though I'd come to the series the wrong way around and knew she ended up with Adam... I wanted her to say YES.

Logically I know/knew Andrew didn't deserve her, after doing what he did to her, that she had 101 reasons to turn him down as she did...

On reflection that it would probably be out of character for her to do so. (Adam is ignored here).

And yet, to my mind, Andrew's reasons make an odd sort of sense - "You don't know what you're going to do, I don't know what I'm going to do - it makes sense to not know what we're going to do together."

Both lost/adrift or nearly so - we know they pair well together, keeping the other afloat at times. (Andrew to Sam in Funk Hole when she's in a Funk, Sam to Andrew so many times)

So... yeah I wish she'd said Yes.

[rubsjuice]

How I write Gaster: A Stylistic Guide

I roleplay Gaster a lot and I was talking to a friend and they mentioned how they had trouble characterizing him, and since many of my friends compliment my Gaster interpretation I thought it would be fair to write a little breakdown of how I write him

This isn't a "this is the Right and Correct way to write him" thing, of course. This is my own interpretation, based on what little we have of him both in entry 17, the tweets, and the vessel creation sequence (we're assuming they're all Gaster here rather than some unknown entity yet to be revealed). If you disagree with something I write in this guide, it's perfectly fine, of course!

I'll start with typing quirk breakdown, which is the more general and universal thing, and then go a bit more detailed with writing style and personality. Feel free to let me know what you think!

Typing Quirk

- ALL CAPS;

- DO NOT CONTRACT WORDS. When apostrophes are needed, like in indication of possession, you should use a space in place of them ("GASTER S TYPING QUIRK");

- USE PARAGRAPH BREAKS

AS NATURAL PACING MARKERS

AND ALSO

AS COMMA SUBSTITUTES

USE PERIODS SPARINGLY.

- PASSIVE VOICE IS TO BE USED OFTEN. Avoid statements with personal pronouns ("I", "me", "myself", "my/mine"), but don't eliminate them completely;

- REPEAT EMPHATIC WORDS

VERY

VERY

OFTEN

(Such as "very", "really" and "so"; consider also having him repeat words or phrases for emphasis, such as "yes, yes");

- British spelling. Put those Us in. Give him all those britishisms, and don't be afraid of making him say antiquated phrasal constructions ("DO YOU RECKON", "VERY WELL", "TUPPENCE FOR YOUR THOUGHTS").

Writing Style

His speech pattern is hard to parse for sure. Consider writing things as meandering and circular as possible (one of my favorite deltarune variables goes something like "HOLE_FROM_WHICH_A_DOG_COMES", which might be the gasteriest thing I can think of), with lots of metaphors that sound ethereal and often nonsensical at first glance. Study the deltarune chapter release tweets if you're having trouble grasping the idea: Gaster is extremely polite and servicing when he speaks. Based on the vessel creation sequence, you can also make him prompt answers from whoever he's talking to often.

He rambles about things, but in a pure infodump way. Consider also writing him employing a lot of ominous comforting ("YOU WILL GET BETTER. YOU HAVE NO CHOICE." type stuff).

If you're following the interpretation that he is a cosmic eldritch being with godlike powers after being scattered across time and space, consider also having him say information he does not have realistic access to; HOWEVER, in roleplaying spaces, utilize this VERY RESPONSIBLY and with consent of every other player involved. GODLIKE POWERS REQUIRE GODLIKE RESPONSIBILITY.

My Personal Interpretation

Gaster, in his core, is a very, very smart scientist. That much we know. He's also very polite and servicing, as per tweets and vessel sequence: he's happy to see you! He loves sharing his creation with you. He's a brilliant scientist who wants nothing more than some company, after being scattered across time and space and completely forgotten by everyone he ever loved.

Gaster is socially starved, and fondly regards his creations, as a beautiful thing to be treasured and appreciated. He coded (or at least started to) Deltarune for us! He created a whole game just to make a player happy. What a soft-serve little guy.

I borrow a lot of his mannerisms from the skelebrothers as well, as a way to approach him to them since they're hinted to be related. For this reason, Gaster is a prankster at heart, enjoys puns of every caliber and rejoices in the possibility of making them. He's also got a massive ego: he thinks he's the best thing since sliced bread, because in his understanding he's so smart he might as well be. With pride and ego, comes stubborness: Dr. Wingdings "famously forgot or refused to install railings on the maintenance catwalks in his gargantuan geothermal magical project" Gaster

(As a sidenote, while the egomania is inspired by Papyrus, it's important to note that, while Gaster is full of himself, Papyrus' self-centering comes from a place of mimicking others, rather than being part of his personality, as we see throughout Undertale. Perhaps it's a learned behavior whose origins have been forgotten?)

Besides being a prankster, he's also a goofball. "What is your favorite blood type"? This guy has done nothing but survive off forgotten seasonal anime for years and years. He calls people on his phone inside his void with a shitty ass reception just so he can talk about FNAF lore. He's a god with the power of creating and modifying whole worlds... And he's got abandonment issues that almost reach desperation

I have a lot of other thoughts on him, little details and rules on how his body and powers work, but those are very minute and particular and I don't think they belong in a guide/character breakdown. I might write a part two to focus just on them if people want, though!

Basically gaster is my goop grandpa and i care him :)

[spaceecoffe]

The Owl House x Slavic Mythology, Part 2 (this one will be longer)

Okay, so in this post I will tell you about few things. First of all you need to know something: slavic mythology is hard to uncover. It is not so easy to find true informations about this like about Greek, Roman or Norse mythology. A lot of Slavic beliefs were twisted by christian propaganda (like in last post I told you about Domovoy bringing good luck to you house -> with a time christians started to tell a story about mean house demon Domovoy and that all the good things he did were actually done by Angels, ugh). It is also twisted by patriarchy that with time didn't want people to believe in some powerful female demons or goddesses.

Slavic mythology for sure was kinda like Boiling Isles: most of demons and nature wants to kill you in some strange ways, but there were also some good demons, good characters and good gods/goddesses. And when you search for some informations you need to remember this. I'm writing it here because one of characters in this post suffers from her story being twisted by christians and men. And you can also see influence of patriarchy in first part.

But lets start the main stuff:

1. Witches and Wizards

Oh, yes, first thing you can think of is a second episode of first season "Witches before Wizards" AND I LOVE IT. Why? Because it destroys traditional look on the witches and wizards, of course! But from the beginning.

In slavic beliefs witches were women who signed a pact with the devil and gained from it magic powers. They used it to turn other people lives into hell by hexes and all that stuff. It was hard to recognise them, but people say that normally woman drinks a glass of vodka (or apple blood!) on three times while witches do it in one sip! Also, if you look deep in their eyes you will see head of a goat. But it could be any women in yours surrounding: single one, old one, married, young... You couldn't trust any woman!

And that is the misogynistic view on witches. The truth is that witches were a wise women who helped other. They often were herbalists and healers in their villages. But people didn't understand how they did their "elixirs", they only knew they worked, so the ones that were jealous about their knowledge create this story about "terrible and scary witches".

At the same time there were Wizards. They were the ones that people looked up to. And it's all because Wizards used their magic for a science and not hexing people! Like, you know... The only thing women can do is to be mean to other people and only think about how to make others lives worse, while man think about more important stuff. But, fortunately, wizards had also some bad traits, like being too ambitious.

So when Luz goes to Boiling Isles it appears that it is full of witches. Not only women witches, but also men. And this is kind of amazing because we finally abandon this archetype of only women being witches. At the same time (in second episode) we can hear King saying:

"Wizards are only old people with glitter in their pockets"

Oh, how I love this! Why? Because there always been a discourse in the topic of magic. When magic was used from science (by wizards or by alchemists) it was good, but when it was coming from nature (used by witches or folks) it was satanic and scary. But here? Here everything is opposite. We know now, thanks to Lilith, that magic in Boiling Isles is highly bonded to the nature and it is used from it. That's why everyone there is called witch, regardless of gender.

Why it is so important for me that witches are cool on Boiling Isles and wizards are only having glitter in their pockets? It's because at the same time that witches were burned on piles in Poland (1600s), you could go on Cracovian Academy (now Jagiellonian University) and get education in being Wizard or Alchemist.

So yeah, this episode just destroyed the archetype of good and wise wizards against bad and wild witches which should happen more often. But until Tolkien's books will still be "best fantasy" I doubt we will se more of breaking this stupid rule (and also sexism in fantasy).

Also, fun fact, in this episode we see Radegast in clothes with stars:

and also we hear that he was "looking at the stars" when Luz came. I know that wizards are usually depicted with some star-theme, but he really reminds me of the legend of Pan Twardowski, the most powerful wizard in Polish (some says he was a German actually) history. He signed the pact with the Devil to gain his power but run away from him to the other side of the moon, were some says, he still lives. He also probably was a real person (Jan Twardowski) who worked on Zygmunt August's court as magician and astrologist, sometime between 1530 - 1570, while as I said, witches were burned on piles.

But let's move to the second thing!

2. Eda, The Baba Yaga

Oh, yes! You've seen this coming. And also it was greatly showed in this amazing post, which you have to read! But I will put in my tuppence here.

First of all, who was Baba Yaga? You heard about her for sure, but probably all of this were lies. Surly, she was the most powerful known witch. She could do almost anything with her magic and she also could brew any potion. As you probably know she lived in the house on chicken legs deep in the forest.

As for her look she was small, old with a big nose and a lot of wrinkles:

She doesn't look nice, does she? Isn't that strange that the most powerful witch in our beliefs has to be so "ugly" (ugh, I hate this word but I have to use it here I think)? The truth is that probably she never looked like this. Historians thinks that at the beginning she was one of the most important goddesses in Slavic Mythology. She was in control of life and death, she was the personification of nature and its power. Some people also believe that she was the one responsible for children initiation to adult life. One of the historians, Zygmunt Krzak, said:

"This is about the reviled figure of the ancient goddess, a characterisation created by religious and secular male elites fighting against matriarchal religion."

So now we can see how Eda works as alternative Baba Yaga from Boiling Isles.

First of all, she IS the most powerful witch on the Boiling Isles. She lives deep in the forest and she is great at brewing potions. Everyone is scared of her but at the same time, if someone is in trouble, she will totally help. Also, in episode one of season two we can see how she actually care about animals (and probably all nature).

But, most importantly, she is against Emperor's rules. As I said in subsection 1, being a witch is all about taking your power from nature. And actually what Emperor is doing is fighting with this, just like christianity when it started to appear on slavic lands. Emperor forbids to use wild magic, he tries to cut witches away from nature. He makes them join covens that can control their magic so they are becoming more and more distant from the natural magic. And Eda is this one person on whole Boiling Isles that is against it and that's why Emperor's Coven tries to change her image so people would think of her as a scary and wild witch which should meet her punishment for being that close to nature.

Another thing that reminds me of Baba Yaga is, of course, how she took care of Luz and helped her to became the witch. This is how initiation of children looks like. Yes, Eda did this in her own way but if not for her, Luz would never went do Hexside and problady wouldn't ever found out about glyphs. So yes, Eda was that one witch who helped Luz, the child (or "her kid") to become real witch, and that is probably what real Baba Yaga was doing.

Also...

Yes, I don't have to comment that, you know what I'm showing to you. But I just want to remind you that Kikimores hate chicken so it naturally goes that Kikimora is on the opposite side to Eda, The Baba Yaga.

The last thing I want to add is that Belos clearly do the same thing to witches on Boiling Isles that christians did to slavic folks (and yes, a lot more cultures in the world but here I'm focusing on Slavs). That is why I am almost sure that he is a human, probably Philippe, because this is just what people of middle and west Europe always did to different cultures -> "Veni, Vidi, Vici" as Julius Cesar said.

Part 1

[angel-princess-anna]

Speculation Sunday

In which weekly(?), I try to connect two dots (and connect nothing) in regards to the second DA film. This week, it’s more about the lack of spoilers and how it will be that way for awhile (also I realize it’s probably now Monday for most of you, whoops)

This post is based on my own perceptions and experiences having followed how they filmed and promoted the TV show and first film. I love discussing Downton, and I love hunting for spoilers, haha. Mainly because I want to know what’s gonna happen with my faves ASAP.

That said, I think we are going to get even less spoilery crumbs during the filming of DA 2021 than we did with DA 2019.

Focus and Carnival kept the official synopsis of the first film a mystery for a very long time (basically until the first full trailer came out) and I assume it will be similar this time too. They then dumped some more info and stills much closer to the release date. Interviews with the cast focused on “getting the gang back together” and I assume the DA 2021 press tour will focus on “getting the gang back together after lockdown” and “we are bringing escapism in dark times”. Understandable, but not ideal for people like me who love spoilers!

During most of the filming of the TV series, we didn’t get a lot of info and pics other than paparazzi photos (social media being less of a thing during the early series, and the latter because of cracking down on spoiler leaks), but then with S6, we were spoiled with riches given that they filmed outdoors a lot, and there was a bit of a social media campaign for the end of the show to honor the crew.

With DA 2019, all we got was a handful of outdoor sightings (the major one of course being the parade filming). This year we’ll have to rely on the paparazzi and tabloids, but again that’s if they film outdoors.

And given how most of the cast is when it comes to social media, and the worry of being punished for spoiler leaks, they aren’t gonna be taking selfies all the time.

So while we wait for Entertainment Weekly or the likes to visit the set, or one of the actors to promote another project and feed us crumbs in an interview, or a still gets released for a holiday... let’s think about what we do know.

The “original principal cast” is back. In Focus’ DA 2019 press release, that wording preceded a list of the main ensemble that was in all six series of the TV show, plus Matthew Goode and Harry Hadden-Patton. Raquel and Michael weren’t listed at that time, and while neither has posted on social media lately that I can see, Raquel’s latest post (as of writing this) has Baxley related hashtags lol. I don’t see why Baxter and Andy wouldn’t be in DA 2021. Kiddo wise, we know that the Baker boys are back as George and their triplet sister is playing someone. Fifi Hart is back as Sybbie. No word yet on the other children, but there’s five child actors from that one agency back for the new film (which doesn’t discount there being child actors from another agency).

Lily James didn’t appear in DA 2019, and I don’t think she would here either (regardless of, uh, Dominic West). Tuppence Middleton confirmed on Twitter she’s in; Max Brown confirmed he’s not. I haven’t seen anything concrete on Imelda yet, but I do assume she’d appear. We have at least four new characters, but nothing on who the new cast members will be playing.

Filming has already begun(!) at Ealing Studios, the studios they used when they filmed the TV show. And now they’ve been filming at Highclere Castle too!

Meanwhile, Rob gave us some clues on ITV’s This Morning:

- "someone goes for a bicycle ride" (easy, that’s the postman or whoever lol) - "someone has an argument" - "someone falls in love" - "someone falls out of love" - "someone goes to the shops"

As HWW said to me, perhaps it is not people that the characters are falling in and out of love with, but perhaps places, things, or ideas. And in the case of Thomas and Richard, it’s possible that they aren’t ‘over’, it’s just that they can’t see each other in the time frame of the film and maybe Thomas receives at least a letter from Richard or something. 

Now, what we don’t know, which is... mostly everything.

The timeline is a biggie, as it would definitely influence some of the plots. And it was something that really wasn’t confirmed for DA 2019 until after we got the trailer. The cast gave us vague ideas, but uh... let’s just say not all of them were correct.

Fellowes has always said that he wouldn’t take DA into the ‘30s, but he always used to say that he’d never work on DA and The Glided Age at the same time, and yet, here we are. I feel like he or Gareth mentioned at one point a sequel would follow closely to DA 2019 timeline wise. They had similarly said DA 2019 would follow closely after the TV show’s timeline, and that ended up being an 18 month gap.

Considering that DA 2021 is coming out during Christmas time, this makes me think that Christmas will be featured at some point. Not every DA Christmas Special did, but it’s festive, timely, and an event to help anchor the film and bring characters together.

The question then is, does it center around Christmas though? Of the three CSs that feature Christmas in some form (S6CS is really about New Year’s Eve, but the decorations and tree are still up), S2CS starts there but ends mid January of the next year, and S5CS and S6CS both start roughly in late summer, and then finish in late December (well 1 Jan in S6CS’ case).

One potential choice is to have it be set in December 1927 and then go into the next year, akin to S2CS. The S5/6 CS idea would set it in 1928 at the earliest.

Another thing factor to take into account here is Edith’s pregnancy. Fellowes skipped over showing Mary pregnant with Caroline in the first film and had her born before DA 2019, so the same might happen here again.

Other potential big events are perhaps a wedding between Daisy and Andy and/or Tom and Lucy.

And then the elephant in the room: Violet. Maggie’s said time and time again that Violet’s too old, and then we had the plot in DA 2019, which would set...  you know... that all up.

So like... filming outdoors in Bampton (where the town of Downton and the church was traditionally filmed for the TV series) is something is that is easily spoiled. They can put up screens to block the view around the church, but to also do it around the cemetery might be too telling. They did kinda manage with S6E8 (well, only kinda, ahem).

Thinking now about how members of the cast have said that DA 2021 will be coming at a time people are wanting/needing "escapism,” I don't think that discounts anything sad happening per se; a lot of people continued to call the TV series "escapism" when it got more darker (see: S4-5), and, I mean, people call Call the Midwife "cosy escapism" despite there being traumatic situations almost every episode it seems. So Violet's days could still very well be numbered. I remember how S3CS was marketed as a fun and frolicking trip to the Highlands, until the Norwegian channel NRK’s trailer for the episode came out and gave away that there was going to be a car accident. Escapism isn't the same for everyone anyway, so we'll have to see what this all entails. I don't necessarily want this for Violet, but I do hope that DA 2021 takes itself a bit more seriously, as the TV show did.

The first movie was written in a manner that was so that it was (somewhat?) understandable to people who didn’t watch the TV series. I have to wonder if DA 2021 has been written similarly. Part of me thinks it will be more similar to the first film than to the TV series, but with a potential sad plot for Violet... who knows, it might go back to its more “serial” roots (if that makes any sense). If DA 2021 also leans more into comedy as DA 2019, I don’t foresee it doing so but we’ll see.

That’s it for the this ramble! I have a topic for the next one regardless of the lack of crumbs! ;)

[officialleotolstoy]

Hi, what are some of your favourite and least favourite things about W&P?

Sorry this answer is late, I’m an overachiever with brainrot so I wanted to answer this for every adaptation I’ve seen. Also disclaimer these are completely subjective and off the top of my head

The Book

Favorite:

Pierre and Andrei’s relationship 🥺

The Bolkonsky family as a whole (excluding Old Prince B of course)

The cop/bear/river story

The scene where Nikolai sees the Tsar the second time (I have it bookmarked sjjajs)

The duel and it’s surrounding circumstances

The scene where Andrei forgives Anatole

Pretty much just all the characters and how interesting and realistic they are!

Honorable mention to Dolokhov

Least Favorite:

The rampant misogyny

The insane age gaps in almost every relationship

The frequency of incest

The. Epilogue.

The amount of war history and redundant philosophy

BBC W&P (2016)

Favorite:

Pierre talking to the Rostov’s pigs

Jack Lowden as Nikolai

The Dolokhov/Nikolai implications

Tuppence Middleton 🥰 Not Hélène’s character but. Her.

The silly hats

Least Favorite:

Dolokhov, Anatole, and Hélène’s characters

The rampant sexualization of everyone and everything

None of the kids are played by kids except Petya and Nikolushka

Romanticization of the epilogue

The Ball scene with Anatole and Natasha!!!!!!!!

Great Comet

Favorite:

Every song is a banger

I believe in Comet canon Pierre and Sonya supremacy

Dust! And! Ashes!

I genuinely think a musical is the best medium for W&P adaptations since it allows for internal monologues to show character much more than any other medium

Nick Belton’s voice

It was my introduction to the source material and I will never not love it

The Dolokhov/Anatole kiss and Hélène/Katya kiss

Least Favorite:

Hélène and Dolokhov characterization is really off (don’t get me wrong, I love Comet Dolokhov and Amber Gray is insanely talented, it just doesn’t mesh well with canon)

“but now I like it very much indeed” this line delivery makes my skin crawl every. Time.

The ball scene again makes me so uncomfortable I tend to skip it even though it slaps

Ingrid Michaelson’s characterization of Sonya 😬

It’s closed :(

1956 War and Peace*

*I never saw the last 50 minutes or so cause they took it off Amazon Prime :/

Favorite:

The scene where Dolokhov drinks the vodka in the window

Idk how accurate it is but Andrei smiling to himself while he listens to Natasha talk about him in the window with Sonya was kind of adorable

The opera scene where Natasha and Anatole meet. It’s so innacurate but it is HILARIOUS

I think Audrey Hepburn is a great actress and she does some sides of Natasha very well (I just wish we had gotten more depth to her character)

Every Balaga should look like that

Least Favorite:

It’s nowhere near accurate to the book and actually made me appreciate BBC W&P a little for that

Too much Napoleon RPF not enough Nikolai or Marya content

The battle scenes and the duel were so boring

Acting like Hélène and Pierre were in love while also highlighting that they were cousins

Their Andrei is terrible. You could replace him with a cardboard cutout and it wouldn’t change anything

[scullysexual]

A Jewel Beneath The Moonlight [Reposted Anniversary]

If you’ve get to read the first chapter, you can read it on Tumblr. Alternatively, you can also find it on AO3 along with this chapter.

@today-in-fic @mypanicface @impulsive-astrophile @enigmaticxbee

- - - 

Chapter Two.

The accommodation is located on B-deck, easy enough to find. Phoebe and Mother get stopped along the way, a conversation proceeds in the middle of the hallway between the two women and some other people Mulder doesn’t care to remember the name of. His father shakes his head leading Mulder away.

“They’ll come when they’re ready,” Bill says as they continue to walk to their rooms.

And the rooms are nice enough; mahogany furniture, floral tapestries covering the couches and chairs. The bedroom is large: a walk-in wardrobe Phoebe should hopefully be happy with. He touches the pillows and his disappointment comes when he finds they are feather. He places it back down.

What’s a bit of lack of sleep for a week?

In the mirror, he catches the reflection of the safe. Spinning around on his heels, he walks over to it, pulling it open. His hand strokes the inside feeling the cold iron. It’s of decent size, enough room to place valuables. He looks to the carry-on he’d brought on with him, an idea in his head. Reaching into the bag, his fingers gripping hold of the old leather book. Pulling it out, he places it inside the safe. With a bit of manoeuvring he manages to fit it in and is still able to lock the safe afterwards.

Few people know about that book, a few more know about his talent that comes with it. Phoebe knew about the talent but not the book. His parents know briefly of his talent but again, not the book. The book is his and while he is in no way ashamed of his drawings- in fact, if one were to turn the first page they would be met with a very innocent drawing of his sister, however a bit further on and they’ll find the not-so-innocent drawings. It was those he wanted to keep secret.

“Fox!” he hears Phoebe’s clear-cut voice break through the air. Sighing, his moment of peace over, he double-checks that the safe is shut and locked and exits the bedroom to see his dearly beloved fiancé and the mutt she holds in a cage.

Mulder groans.

“Did you really have to bring that thing, Phoebe?”

Phoebe looks at him as though he’s just told her she wouldn’t be eating dinner for a month.

“Of course I had to bring her Fox,” she says in utter disgust. “Did you just expect me to leave her behind?” She takes the Maltese out of its cage, giving the cage to one of her maids before she holds the animal up.

“I know you don’t like the cage, sweetie. You can stay out of it from now on.” The dog begins fussing in her arms and Phoebe gasps. “Tuppence needs a potty break,” she hands the dog out to Mulder. “Take her.”

Mulder stares at the hairball currently in his face. “Can’t you take her?” he asks, careful to use the word ‘her’ rather than ‘it’.

“I can’t. I need to unpack.”

“I can do that.”

Phoebe looks at him like he’s grown another head.

“No, you’ll just put things in the wrong place.”

Mulder sighs and accepts his punishment.

“Alright, where’s the leash?”

Maybe it shouldn’t come as a surprise that the doggy pooping area is the third class deck but it does. He had looked for an actual area originally but there didn’t seem to be one that existed, he just followed the crowd in a sense and saw another dog doing its business down there.

He lets the dog get on with it, lets it take its time too, maybe it’ll wander too far to the rail and fall off the ship, but Mulder doubts he’s that lucky.

His attention moves away from the dog to the people. A man and his daughter who sits on the rails, her back against his chest, an arm securing her so she doesn’t fall off. The father points to the islands in the distance. Mulder can’t hear the words but he imagines that she’s telling her the names of them, maybe stories about who those people were. Maybe the man knows who the people were.

A second man, older than the first, sits on a bench with his eyes shut and lets the breeze ruffle what little hair he has.

Mulder’s eyes move to another little girl who kicks a ball over to a red-headed boy. The boy picks the ball up, turning his face to the sky and Mulder watches as he balances the ball on his nose like a sealion in a zoo. The little girl laughs and as does another girl with the same red hair as the boy. Mulder finds himself drawn to it and drawn to the girl, a genuine smile breaking out across his face for what feels like the first time in a long time, his stomach twisting and heart folding in on itself all in a good way as he stares at her. Whatever this feeling is, he likes it.

“How old you do think that boy is?” a voice beside him asks. Mulder startles, never even hearing the man approach. “Fifteen? Sixteen?” Mulder moves his gaze back over to the red haired boy. “When I was fifteen, my father sent me off to boarding school.”

“You envy them?” Mulder asks. Most people he’s met in his life scorn them, question how they could live like that. A change in tune is a nice welcome.

“A little bit. Makes you wonder what experiences he’s had this far.”

The boy turns and Mulder is taken back slightly by the gash on his face.

“He’s experienced a good punch if that cut is anything to go by,” Mulder laughs. He stretches his arm out towards the man. “I’m Mulder,” he says.

The name strikes no recognition with a man for which Mulder is absolutely grateful for.

“John Byers.”

Similarly, the name does strike any recognition for Mulder either. The two shake hands just as the dogs wander over. Mulder opens the gate, attaching the leash back onto Tuppence.

“I’ll see you at dinner, then?” Byers calls as Mulder makes his way back inside.

“Yes, you will.”

Dinner turns out to be a dull affair, minus the bit of drama beforehand: Phoebe’s hissy-fit at not “having anything to wear”. Mulder had got back to the room to find that everything had been packed away. The walk-in wardrobe he thought Phoebe would be fine with only has enough room to fit half her clothes into. She’d cried that she wasn’t prepared to live out of her suitcase for a week. Mulder had compromised, given up the small area he’d reserved for his clothes to fit the rest of Phoebe’s. Now his clothes reside in his father’s room.

All in all, the whole debacle had delayed them by thirty minutes.

Other than that, the dinner itself was a dull affair. Mulder was continuingly zoning out throughout it, his thoughts entirely focused upon the girl on the deck. Who was she? Why couldn’t he think of anything else? Why did he feel what he felt? What did he even feel?

“Fox…Fox…” he swears he hears his Mother saying.

It’s Phoebe’s sigh of annoyance that forces him out of his reverie.

“He’s doing that thing again, Mother.”

“Fox!” his father barks. Mulder looks to his father, dazed for a moment and fully aware he has no idea what conversation is going on. “Mr Skinner is speaking to you.”

Mulder looks towards the bald man, only now realising that he had joined their table.

“I’m sorry, Mr Skinner,” Mulder apologises. “You were saying?”

“I was just congratulating you and Miss Green on your engagement,” Skinner tells him.

Mulder smiles and reaches for Phoebe’s hand on the table, clasping their fingers together. Not showing anything is amiss, Phoebe smiles.

“Thank you, Mr Skinner,” Mulder says. He looks to Phoebe then. “My only wish is for this week to hurry so I can soon make Phoebe my wife officially.”

He brings the hand he holds to his lips then, placing a gentle kiss to the top of it. And Phoebe sincerely smiles at him.

Mulder’s never hated himself more.

Just as they’re finishing their third course does the conversation change once more. Mulder pays no mind to it, he nods when he’s expected to and that is all.

“You’re old friend Bill,” a man from the farther end of the table shouts over. “Spender- is he on the ship, do you know?”

“I saw his son before,” says Phoebe. “He didn’t look too happy.”

“You remember Jeffrey, don’t you, son?” Bill asks Mulder.

“Yes, he was in my Psychology class at Oxford,” Mulder answers simply before going back to his soup.

The man at the end of the table pipes up again. “I never saw the point in educating yourself on those types of subjects. Seems a waste of time.”

“Fox has a special knack for reading people, don’t you?”

Mulder nods. And I can read you people better than you think.

Dessert is on its way when the conversation changes once more. The man at the end of the table telling everyone, once again, that he has an opinion to make.

“Would anyone else sleep better knowing we weren’t sharing a boat with steerage?”

Mulder’s stomach twists.

“Mother and I saw some wandering down our hallway earlier. How they managed to get up there, I have no idea.”

“Maybe they were just lost, Phoebe,” Mulder says as gently as he can, the anger seething beneath.

“Whatever they’re excuse, a crewmember soon shouted at them to leave and off they scurried off.”

“Like rats in the woodwork, back down to the basement were they belong,” the man at the end of the table gruffly laughs.

“I’m sure they won’t be an issue anymore,” says Father.

Done with the conversation and dinner all together, Mulder denies dessert as its served.

“I just feel a bit sick,” Mulder says when questioned.

“You might have caught something off the docks earlier,” says Phoebe reaching up to touch his forehead. She looks to the gathering worriedly, “He is burning up.”

Mulder brings her hand away. “I’ll see you later on,” he says and with that he leaves the table, no kiss, no hug, no form of intimacy at all, he just leaves.

The breeze is welcomed from the hot and stuffy dining room. For all their visitors at the table Mulder hoped the man he met earlier- Byers- would have joined them. It would have been nice to know someone thought the same things as him.

He makes his way to the back of the ship, away from on-lookers and those who would judge him, happy to find the stern empty.

He walks over to the rails, feeling the cold oak between his fingers as he looks out to the darkness around him. His mind drifts back to earlier, to the father and daughter and he finds himself beginning to climb the rails.

His heart is in this throat every step. Mulder never considered himself afraid of much, if he was dared to do something he’d do it but maybe it’s the fact that he’s alone that scares him. Whenever a dare in involved there’s always at least another person, someone to catch you if you fall, someone to pull you back when they get too scared but out here it’s only him- only him, the ship, and the sea and if he falls that’s it.

He thinks about how that little girl must have felt. Was she scared at first? Did she refuse to sit on the rail for fear of falling? Was it only when she felt her father behind her, arms around her chest that she felt safe, that she knew she wasn’t going to fall?

“I hope you’re not considering jumping?”

Mulder startles, almost losing his balance in the process. He grips the rails tighter, wondering if this was such a good idea after all.

A nervous laugh falls from his lips.

“I wasn’t until you nearly made me.”

“Sorry,” the woman says. A woman’s voice. “I just saw you climb up there and got a wee bit nervous, that’s all.”

Mulder twists slightly so he can see the person. As he turns, he almost falls again when he realises who’s standing there.

The red-headed girl from earlier.

“Maybe you should get down,” she says, face a full display of concern. She edges closer slowly. “It’s a long way down if you fall off.”

She leans against the rails just as he’d done earlier.

“Maybe I like the risk,” Mulder says, a façade of a fearless smile appearing across his face. Really, he was shitting bricks.

“You won’t like the fall,” she says, her voice serious, no hint of the playfulness he’s trying to have. “It’ll be like hitting concrete and if you just so happened to survive that, it won’t take long for the cold to get ye.”

Mulder looks down into the water directly below him.

“How long we talking?” he asks.

Her answer is quick, ready like she’d been prepared to answer all along.

“Thirty minutes for the hypothermia to kick in, one to two hours before you die.” The facts all out, she turns sombre and concerned once more. “Not exactly a quick death if that’s what you wanted.”

Gaining her point, he begins to twist on the rails, back to the sea as he jumps down.

“There,” he says, dusting himself off. “No harm done.” He looks down at her, realising just how much he towers over her. Phoebe is tall for a woman, almost his height in heels, but this girl…Mulder estimates she not much taller than 5’4.

He stretches out his hand, curious as to why the universe has thrown her in his path for a second time that day and even more curious to know why she knows so much about cold water.

“I’m Mulder.”

She ignores his hand, an eyebrow shooting up. “Mulder? I’m not entitled to a first name?”

Mulder laughs nervously again, throwing his arm to his side. “You don’t want to know it.”

She regards him, as if wondering whether he is worth an interest in or not.

“In that case…” she draws out. “I’m Scully.”

[fatphobiabusters]

So I have a question about how weight gain/loss works and I can't find any studies that don't seem reductionist or oversimplifying.

So, I assume you guys and I both agree: weight gain and loss is way more complex than calories in - calories out. It HAS to be. For instance, I was underweight until I started taking certain medications which made me gain upwards of 70lbs in the span of a few years. My diet and activity levels have not changed. My mom eats worse than I do (legit she sometimes only eats sugary cereals and ice cream some days, I try to only eat whole grains in contrast because I like their taste better and they're more nutritious) and she's not nearly as fat as I am. I also exercised a lot for a good year or two and while I gained plenty of muscle weight my total amount of body fat didn't change.

Meanwhile a friend of mine is chronically underweight and we eat very similarly and have the same activity levels, and he actively LOSES weight if he doesn't eat upwards of 2000+ calories a day.

I know that's anecdotal evidence, but I hear very similar stories from many people and simplifying weight down to just calories seems like it's missing a whole big picture somewhere. The body obviously has some very complex systems in place regarding the storage of body fat and when it chooses to use it vs keep it.

Seeing as you guys are skeptical of reductionist science when it comes to body fat and weight, I was wondering if you had any studies or research on hand about how weight gain and loss actually works. It seems like a fascinating topic ripe for plenty of research and experiments regarding the biological pathways of how energy is stored and used, and why it uses fat stores sometimes and not others, and why it differs so greatly between people! It feels like if it were any other field people would be pouring grants and work into figuring out this really cool mystery but because it's about fat people nobody wants to bother.

So, we have posted a lot about this.

I recommend spending some time on @bigfatscience, since this is their actual area of expertise.

I’m also interested in this in a sciency way, but as a fat person I worry about ppl focusing too much on this and not on radical fat acceptance. It shouldn’t matter if someone is fat because they choose to eat a lot and do no exercise. That’s their right as a human.

I posted this graph [cw: o word] a while back. It’s not perfect, but it’s a start in thinking about weight systematically and in a more complex way.

-Mod Siarl

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/296290/obesity-map-full-hi-res.pdf

last time the embedded link didn’t work so I’m just putting it here in case that happens again.

---

I’m going to throw my tuppence-haypenny in here. Mod Siarl already gave an excellent answer, I just have my spleen to vent also 😎 engage RANT:

The calories-in/calories-out thing bugs me a LOT because it’s so simple for people to throw out, and takes FOREVER to debunk. It’s like a Gish-gallop debating tactic: make the other side look daft by casually dropping it into a discussion and watch the other side have to faff about with a big answer.

I don’t know if this comes up much in US education, but there’s an old adage:

“Physics can’t explain how a bumblebee is able to fly.”

It’s patent nonsense. Of course Physics can explain it. The problem is mis-stated: Physics, as taught to 15 year olds, is too simplistic to explain how a bumblebee is able to fly.

Physics, as taught to post-16 year olds and in higher education, is perfectly able to explain it.

Calories is EXACTLY like that, IMO.

“Just expand more calories than you take in and you’ll lose weight. SIMPLE.”

It’s an oversimplification of biological process that, yes as stated is technically correct but it bears no resemblance to reality. It’s mis-stated.

When you restrict calories, your body will react. The reaction varies on person, circumstance, metabolism, genetics and societal conditioning. It may include, but is not limited to:

‘Starvation’ mode: your body chemistry adapts to lower calorific intake and preps for a famine. Fat is one of the last things to go, because it’s your body’s last line of defence against starving to death. (https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/starvation-mode#metabolism)

Depression/mental health. Not only are you depriving yourself of something that may make you happy (tasty food you like), you’re interfering with the societal use of food (social eating, with all its positive connotations for interaction), changing your body chemistry AND setting yourself up with a “I can’t have X otherwise I’m a bad person” mentality. (https://www.consumerhealthdigest.com/general-health/dieting-mental-health.html - refs at bottom)

Decreased activity. Fewer calories == less energy. Body stays the same shape (https://www.livestrong.com/article/454212-fatigue-while-on-a-calorie-restricted-diet/).

Reduction in muscles. Fat’s your last line of defence against starving (https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/calorie-restriction-risks#TOC_TITLE_HDR_7).

Fat loss. Yep, it might happen 🤷‍♀️ depends on all the factors above.

Weight gain. Guess what happens when the calorie counting ends? Your body tries to get back to its previous weight ASAP (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/smart-people-don-t-diet/201501/5-lies-the-diet-industry).

Yes, there are also studies that show calorie restriction makes you smarter, live longer, able to jump tall buildings in a single bound and blah blah blah, all of which rely on self-reporting from subjects (which is laughably unreliable), small sample sizes (womp womp) and significant differences in the baseline stats of the participants (eg this gushing report https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/caloric-restriction-intelligence/ which buries these huge methodological faults in the ‘further questions’ section. FFS.)

Why the disparity? Why is slim evidence given SO much credence rather than correctly being interpreted as ‘hm, interesting. More research needed’?

Being fat is just taken as fact to be a problem. Any study showing otherwise is immediately analysed until someone can explain that the study was flawed (see the obesity paradox for this in action - what if we just discount any thin person with cancer? Job done. Now fatties look bad again. And there was much rejoicing.)

The reverse is true for any study on calorie restriction: any methodological flaws are buried in the footnotes, because it fits the narrative.

Whether being fat is healthy or not doesn’t matter. Your body, and changing it, take a long time and concerted effort for slow changes. You’re under no obligations to any of that and deserve to be allowed to live in peace with respect. Maybe you like being fat. Maybe you like your lifestyle. Maybe there are factors more important in your life than your weight. Maybe you accept you will die at the end regardless, so to an extent your just choosing between cancer, heart disease or Alzheimers (sorry for being flippant - that’s a big topic right there).

(Why is this ‘the narrative’? If I had to guess, I’d follow the money: public health is expensive, so any excuse to turn it into a problem of will power/individual deviancy is embraced by people who want their taxes lower rather than paying for healthcare for the masses.)

So yes. Calories-in/calories-out is twaddle is the take-away from my TED talk/rant 🤣

NOTE: I’m not a biologist, nutritionist, doctor or anything else. Always go to the study source, check the methodology, check the conclusions (which regularly get utterly misquoted when reported) and make up your own mind. Don’t take what I say as fact, because I might be completely backwards.

-- Mod K