#just so as not to say what's stuck in my throat until today

[mel-loly]

-“2022..”

(read the tags)

[arthur-r]

(vent cw sorry i ran out of room in the tags to say that. it’s illness-related anger as usual. content warning for medical everything)

im so fucking sick though. just in general

[seventeenytiny]

Attention

Smut MDNI

Chan gets stuck in a work call, but you have an idea of how to get his attention back on you. Word Count: 1081 Warnings: Smut, Oral (male receiving), slight pet play? (I'm probably missing a warning I'm sorry) Author's Note: enjoy :)

Chan snuggled beside you on the couch, relieved to finally spend time with you after an exhausting workday. Long workdays have led to both of you longing for each other's touch; all you want to do is be held. The gentle pitter-patter of rain outside added to your coziness. Smiling to yourself as you hold onto him, you take in the sweet scent of his cologne. You were enjoying yourself so very much. That was until you heard the awful sound of his phone ringing. Chan sighs, pulling away from you. "I'm so sorry, angel. I have to take this call. I'll try to be fast."

You pout to yourself as he leaves, wondering how long that phone call could last. You lean back into the couch, pulling out your phone. Quickly becoming bored with it, you cycle through the same three apps repeatedly. Your attention shifts from your phone to Chan, who paces back and forth through your apartment. The gray sweatpants he's wearing look a little too good. That's when you get the sinfully brilliant idea of how to get Chan's attention back on you.

Content with your plan, you hop off the couch and make your way toward Chan. Placing your hands on his waist, you interrupt his pacing. His face twists in confusion, but he quickly shakes it off and returns to his conversation. You give him a peck on the cheek before sliding down to your knees in front of him, your hands staying right on his hips, fingers playing with his waistband.

Chan almost chokes mid-conversation, but he catches himself and returns to whatever he was talking about. He glares down at you, his eyes dark and warning, but showing no signs of telling you to stop. You know you'll be punished later for what you're about to do, but perhaps the benefits outweigh the risks. You smile innocently at him before continuing with your plan.

He's hard already, the bulge in his sweatpants tells you all you need to know. You have this man trained for you; every time he sees you on your knees, his body reacts before his brain. You rub his hard-on through his pants, your mouth already starting to water from the anticipation. The dark spot of precum begins to show through his sweatpants, you rub him one more time before pulling his pants down. To your surprise, Chan had decided to forgo underwear, his cock springing up in your face, tip red and leaking.

You take his member in your hand, giving it a couple slow pumps. Chan's free hand takes hold of your hair, gripping it harder as you tease him. You kiss his tip and then trail down his shaft, not wanting to indulge him just yet. He sighs; perhaps it was in response to his phone conversation, perhaps it wasn't. You return to his tip, giving it kitten licks, the salty taste of precum coating your tongue.

That's when Chan decides he's had enough of your games. His hand moves to the back of your head, roughly pushing his cock into your mouth. You gag quite loudly, enough to make the person on the phone call question what the sound was.

Chan clears his throat. "Ah don't worry Sir," he says. "It's just my friend's dog that I'm watching. She's usually a very good girl, I guess today she's just a little antsy." He pulls the phone away from his face while patting your head, "Why don't you be a good girl and be quiet while Daddy's on the phone?" You whimper around his cock in response before he continues on with his call.

Cautiously, you proceed back to what you were doing. You bob your head on his cock, your hand pumping what you can't fit in your mouth. His tip hits the back of your throat; he's deliciously large, not just in length but girth. You keep up a good pace, careful not to gag or make any noise. Chan's hand moves to cup your cheek, his touch shockingly soft and tender. However, that changes abruptly as he grabs your face and began to face fuck you. His pace was fast and unforgiving, your jaw becoming sore, drool dripping down your chin.

You know Chan would never give you more than you could handle, so you take his fast pace the best you can, slightly gagging with each thrust. Chan clears his throat before apologizing back into the speaker, "Sorry, Sir. this dog won't stop whimpering. I think she's hungry, do you mind if I put you on hold real quick while I feed her?"

You don't hear the man's reply but suddenly Chan's attention turns to you. "You're such a fucking brat you know that? You can't even wait for me to finish this call, so you just decide to help yourself. Such a whore," He emphasizes his words with his thrusts, "You're going to regret what you're doing once I finish this call."

His cock twitches in your mouth, you know he won't last much longer. "I'm going to return to my call and you're going to finish me off like a good girl. I want you to swallow every last drop okay?"

You mumble in reply, hearing him return to his call. He slows down his thrust, letting you regain control. You work what doesn't fit in your mouth with your hands, expertly pumping him. Your tongue moved up and down his shaft before you fully took him in again. You feel him twitch again, his grip on your hair tight, you know he's about to cum. A slight moan comes out of him as you feel him release into your mouth. You swallow every last drop of his warm cum, not letting any go to waste as demanded.

You thoroughly clean him off before releasing his cock from your mouth. Right at that moment, you hear him finish up his call with a quick 'goodbye'.

Chan helps you back up to your feet, holding onto your unsteady body. "You know you're in trouble, don't you, babygirl?"

You nod.

"But... let's save your punishment for another day. Will you let me take care of you right now?" His hand reaches down to rub at your pussy. "You must be absolutely soaked right now, it's my turn to taste you."

You kiss him on the lips, conveying your answer. He picks you up off your feet, whisking you away to the bedroom.

[honeyedmiller]

Ring | Joel Miller

pairing: husband!joel x wife!reader

warnings: tommy’s being a little shit lol, marriage, reader is unintentionally oblivious for a bit, no outbreak, reader is depicted to be shorter than joel, au where ellie is joel and reader’s adopted daughter but she’s only very briefly mentioned, smut (bathroom quickie), slight jealousy, no use of y/n. 18+, minors dni.

word count: 2k

synopsis: Tommy teases Joel about you and him having marriage problems when he notices you aren’t wearing your ring.

quick one shot in honor of 700 followers??? oh my god?? i love u all sm thank you!!!

this was honestly kinda poorly written. forgive me :’)

“Hey big brother, what’s up with you and your girl?” Tommy asks, brows furrowed as he leans up against the counter next to Joel.

“Hell are ya talkin’ about, Tommy?” Joel continues to chop onions for the barbecue you guys were throwing today.

“Are you guys, I dunno, having marriage problems?” Tommy quirks a brow, and Joel halts his movements. He sets the knife down on the counter while averting his gaze up to his brother, expression clearly displaying pure annoyance.

Tommy might’ve bugged the shit out of Joel, but he knew he had good intentions. So why the hell would he be asking this?

“What makes you say that?” Joel crosses his arms over his chest now, waiting for Tommy to spew some bullshit at him.

“She’s not wearin’ her ring.” Tommy shrugs, and Joel’s permanent furrowed brow lines deepen even further.

“The hell she ain’t. She always wears her ring.” Joel argues back.

“Go see for yourself big brother.” Tommy gestures outside, where Joel pushes past him and slides open the glass door to find you at the cooler talking with some random new guy from the neighborhood. Joel noticed that he was trying to flirt with you, and being the naturally kindhearted and welcoming person you were, you didn’t catch on.

Joel also noticed that Tommy was right—you weren’t wearing your ring.

If there was one thing that Joel learned from you over the years you’ve been together and three years married, it was how to properly communicate his feelings. He used to be so closed off and would bottle everything up, letting stuff bother him until he became so distant.

You weren’t having any of that, though, so you sat him down one day and told him that you needed proper communication between you both. You were a saint with Joel, being so patient and kind to him as he was trying to unlearn his previous ways of shutting himself out from everyone around him when he didn’t exactly know how to communicate something.

Some days were harder than others, but ever the sweetheart you are, you never rushed him or got irritated when he couldn’t exactly seem to form his words to you. You just held him and kissed him repeatedly, letting him know it was okay and he could take his time.

This time around, he didn’t seem to have a single bit of a problem telling you what he was feeling. So, he walked up to you and wrapped his arms around your waist, kissing your temple to show the man that was so clearly interested in you that you were taken.

“Hey darlin’.” Joel rasps into your ear, kissing your shoulder afterward.

“Hey baby. This is Dominic. He’s new to the neighborhood. Dominic, this is my husband, Joel.”

Joel sported a shit-eating grin when Dominic’s body went rigid at the word husband. Joel stuck his hand out to him, and Dominic apprehensively shook his hand. Joel’s grip was firmer than it regularly was, and Dominic flinched in the slightest.

“Thanks for keeping my beautiful wife some company while I got stuff ready for the grill.” Joel’s voice dripped with sarcasm, and you looked up at him with a quirked brow.

He offered you a tight-lipped smile when his gaze met yours, clearing his throat. “Can I steal you for a minute, baby?” He asks, arms possessively wrapping around your frame. You nod, confused as to why Joel was acting a bit strange suddenly.

He intertwines your hand with his, and you excuse yourself from Dominic as Joel led you into the house and up to your bedroom.

“What’s this about, Joel?” You question as he closes the bedroom door, locking it behind him.

“Where’s your wedding ring at, baby?” He asks, looking down at you. A glint of something flashes across his eyes, but you couldn’t put your finger on what.

“‘S in my jewelry box. I didn’t wanna lose it helping around the backyard today or swimming if I did, so I knew it would be safe in there instead. Why?” Your curiosity is piqued.

Joel slowly maneuvers himself past you and over to your jewelry box, opening the top of it to firstly find your wedding ring neatly placed.

He takes the ring out of the jewelry box and walks over to you, grabbing your left hand to slip it onto your ring finger once more. Right where it belongs, perfectly fitted. He brings your hand up to his mouth, kissing your knuckles softly.

“Tommy’s bein’ a little shit, as always. Came into the kitchen with assumptions that we were having ‘marriage problems’ because you weren’t wearing your ring.” He tsked, shaking his head.

You rolled your eyes and scoffed.

“Y’gotta stop letting Tommy get into your head, J. I love you, I’m yours, and I’m not going anywhere.” You reassured him, and his lips curled up in the slightest.

“I know baby, I just can’t help but feel jealous when I see another man flirting with my woman.”

“Jealous? Of who?” You were puzzled at Joel’s confession, resting a steady hand on his warm chest.

“That new neighbor. Dylan or whatever the fuck his name is.” Joel spat.

You had no idea Dominic was even flirting with you. You thought he was just being friendly. Fuck, maybe Joel was right. Maybe you are oblivious sometimes.

You wrap your hands around the back of his neck, pulling him down so his lips envelope yours. One hand of his is splayed over the small of your back while the other rests on the outside of your thigh, rubbing small circles into your exposed skin. The dress you were wearing today was just another distraction for Joel and a reminder that he needed to behave himself or else the whole neighborhood would hear you saying his name like a prayer on Sunday morning.

Joel’s cock stirred at the thought, and he groaned into the kiss. You pulled apart from him and moved your hands down to his chest again.

“C’mon cowboy, people are gonna wonder where we’re at.” You grin, going to the bedroom door to unlock it. You were about halfway down the hallway before Joel tugged you into the bathroom on your right side.

“They can wait.” He closed the door and pressed you up against it, locking the lock before smashing his lips to yours.

There was so much hunger behind his kiss. You felt slick start to pool onto your panties, the want in your core licking a flame up your body. You moan into the kiss, gripping the back of his head to mold yourself even further into him. It was nothing but teeth clashing, lips smacking, and fervor for one another as the kiss continued.

“Gotta make this quick, babydoll.” Joel finally broke the kiss as you softly whined, and he turned you around to move you in front of the wide mirror. You met his gaze through the reflection, nothing but hunger in his eyes.

He lifted up your dress and pulled your panties down your legs in one swift motion. His middle finger wasted no time in collecting the slick arousal between your legs, causing you to moan softly.

“Always so ready for me, baby.” Joel chuckled darkly as he brought his middle finger up to suck your arousal off of it. He looked you right into the reflection of your eyes as he did so. The sight was nearly pornographic.

You bite your lip and plead with your eyes; please please please just fuck me, Joel.

His middle finger made its way back down to your slick cunt before he pushed it into you, pumping languidly. He curled his thick finger to hit the spot that drove you wild, and you found yourself gripping onto the counter for dear life. You decided, though, that his finger just wasn’t enough in this moment.

“Please, J. I need you.”

“Need you too, baby.” Joel got the message clear as day, unbuckling his belt and undoing his zipper and jeans button in record time, pulling down the fabric along with his boxers. His painful erection sprung free, and he lined himself up with your throbbing, aching cunt.

He easily found home in you as he sunk to the hilt, groaning at how good you felt around him.

“Be a good girl for me and tell me who you belong to.” Joel’s voice was dark, teetering on the line of possessive. You found it hot, though.

“Y-Yours, Joel. ‘M all yours.” You can barely say your words as he starts to rock his hips, deliciously stretching you out every time his hips collided with your ass.

“That’s it, baby, mine. No one else’s. Perfect little pussy is mine, you’re mine, mine.” He gritted into your hair, pulling you back against him by your waist as he rocked his hips up into you. You leaned your head back on his shoulder, moaning his name softly.

“Gotta be quiet, baby, can’t have anyone hearin’ us now.” Joel kissed you sloppily to hide your lewd moans, hips snapping up into you.

“Fuck, Joel, feel s’good.” Your words start to mesh together like you’re absolutely cock drunk.

Joel bends you back down over the sink and gently wraps his hand around your throat, forcing you to look up into the mirror as he pounds into you from behind.

“So fuckin’ beautiful. Takin’ me so well, sweet girl. Been teasin’ me with this little dress on all day.” Joel lets go of your throat and slides his hand down to your front, rubbing your clit in fast, circular motions.

You barely have time to process that your body is about to give into Joel’s expert touch. You squeeze your eyes shut, jaw falling completely slack as you let out an accidental loud moan. Joel didn’t even stop you that time, because he himself was already on the brink of an orgasm.

“Cum with me, my love.” Joel groans into your ear. You both let go and just let it happen, praying that the music playing in the backyard is loud enough to cover your wanton moans as you both come down from your orgasms. Joel was reluctant to move out of you at first, but he couldn’t take the way you were clenched down on him anymore.

You were so fucking intoxicating and if it were his choice, he’d gladly be buried into your sweet, warm cunt all of the time.

Reality trickled back in around you both as he pulled out of you with a groan, both breathless and panting. After readjusting and redressing himself, he grabbed a washcloth from the cabinet above the toilet and wet it, wiping down the excess of his remnants on the apex of your inner thighs. He planted a kiss on the back of your thigh, pulling your panties up on you as he stood back up.

He helped fix your hair and readjusted you so you looked almost completely normal, albeit your face felt hot and you had a post-fuck look on your face.

He brought you into his chest, wrapping his arms around your shoulders as he kissed your hair.

“I love you, baby.” He murmurs softly, rocking you for a minute.

“I love you too.” Your reached your left hand up to hook onto his forearm that was wrapped around you, giving it a squeeze. Your ring glinted in the sunlight that pooled into the bathroom window, and Joel smiled happily.

“We’ll continue this later tonight, baby. Maybe Sarah and Ellie can spend the night at a friend’s house tonight.”

Your lips curl into a smile at his suggestion, and you lean up to kiss his cheek.

“Let’s get back out to the party.” He pats your ass and opens the door, coming out after you. You make your way down the stairs, Joel hot on your trail.

Tommy gives Joel a knowing look of ‘I know exactly what you two were up to.’

Joel scoffs at Tommy and grumbles as he moves past his younger brother.

“Marriage problems my ass.”

tag list: @party-hearses ; @nostalxgic ; @ilovepedro ; @bastardmandennis ; @tinygarbage ; @cool-iguana

[joelslastofus]

[SUMMARY: Joel acts like he doesn’t like you until he comes across your rapist.]

TW: MENTION OF RAPE. Angst

“What did he do?” His voice was low, eerie like, suddenly he looked angry as you stood still before him.

Ever since Tess had died Joel became more unbearable to deal with. The two of you had only known each other a couple months before she passed away but never got close to one another, if anything Joel acted like he didn’t like having you around. He barely held any conversations with you unless it involved a plan he needed you to be on the same page with him about. Silently he’d share food with you but that was pretty much as far as he’d go.

“Get up, we’re gonna keep moving today” Joel woke you up out of your sleep gathering his belongings as you sighed.

“I thought you said we’d stay here for two nights-“

“Plans changed. We’re leaving soon” you groaned as you got on your feet and began to pack. This journey to Marlene seemed a lot longer than you thought it would be.

“Are you sure Marlene even has what you want?” You asked with a sigh. He didn’t respond instead handing you your weapon so you could follow him out.

Walking with Joel through the woods your foot accidentally slid down a rock making you gasp loudly. Joel quickly turned with his knife ready to attack only to find you straightening your shirt.

“I slipped” he didn’t respond only looking irritated and turned back to continue walking. You didn’t understand why Joel always seemed so bothered by you, had he not promised Tess that he’d look after you, he wouldn’t have stuck around with you. Tess never shared to him the true reason why she wanted him to care for you but when you first met her you had confided in her the brutal things that you overcame. One of them being that you were held captive for a couple months by a group not far out, one of the men in their group being your rapist, you were always afraid to come across this man again. Little did Tess know, this very same man was running things alongside Marlene.

“Joel, have I done something to upset you at any point?” You asked trying to keep up with him.

“No” he responded without looking your way.

“So what’s your issue?”

“I don’t have a damn issue, now let’s keep moving” you gave up at that point not saying a word. Joel truly didn’t have a specific issue with you, he just chose to not allow himself to get close to anyone ever again, he had lost too much.

Finally making it to Marlene’s you followed behind Joel walking in. You had no idea whom Marlene was or anything about the place but being with Joel you just did as he said. Standing beside him a few feet away you were introduced to Marlene. She seemed like a woman who was strictly about business, she spoke to him of the car she had promised.

Of course, tomorrow it would be ready.

You didn’t speak during their conversation, not thinking much of anything until the door opened and a man walked in. Instantly your heart sunk, your stomach turned as the man stood by Marlene confidently before noticing you.

“This is my right hand man, he does what I say, when I say and can always be counted on” Marlene introduced the man beside her, you found yourself unable to speak. You knew who this man was, how could you not?

Edward….you’d never forget his name, one year ago this man made your life a living hell. Your throat felt like it was closing up, your heart racing-

“Look who it is” Edward grinned towards you making Marlene raise a brow at you. Joel turned to you as you looked down taking a deep breath.

“Small world” Marlene muttered but Joel noticed something off with your reaction.

“Anyways, Joel” Marlene got his attention explaining what would happen.

“Tomorrow before the evening I should have a car for you, for now you two can stay in a room I have prepped” Joel didn’t like the idea of staying an extra day but silently nodded and took the offer. Thankfully Edward and Marlene left the room before someone else led you to the room you would both stay in. Your heart felt like it would come out your chest but you couldn’t find it in you to speak. Joel walked ahead of you opening the door to the room. You stood by the door closing it behind you watching as he placed his backpack on the bed without looking back. Your body felt as if it would collapse any moment, you couldn’t stay here, you couldn’t be around Edward yet you knew you couldn’t say a thing.

That night Joel noticed you seemed a bit fidgety but he didn’t say a word. He lay back on his bed and watched as you double checked the locks on the door twice before laying down.

“You know we’re safe here right?” You looked up not noticing Joel had been watching you.

“Y-yeah” you nodded before turning over and facing the wall. That night you didn’t sleep, if anything you hoped Joel would sleep so he wouldn’t hear you crying in the middle of the night. Of course that didn’t work, at one point Joel opened his eyes thinking he was hearing something but he couldn’t make out what it was until he looked over and noticed you seemed like you were trembling. Quickly he sat up unsure of what to do, slowly he got up from the bed and noticed you were whimpering in your sleep. He didn’t know what the hell to do, he’d never seen you like this before but he knew damn well what it felt like. Delicately he placed his hand on your shoulder and tried to wake you.

“Hey” you continued to whimper but wouldn’t open your eyes. Joel cleared his throat and leaned in closer to you prepared for you to be startled.

“Hey wake up” he shook you a little harder making your eyes quickly open. You gasped unaware who was near you, unaware that you had even been dreaming, raising your hand ready to hit whoever it was Joel caught your wrist in mid air.

“Easy, honey”

You looked up at him confused, you hadn’t even realized you fell asleep now here was Joel looking down at you with concern. Once he was sure that you knew it was him, he released your arm as you tried to catch your breath.

“I’m sorry” you whispered.

“It’s alright, just havin’ a bad dream is all” he looked at you for a moment curious to ask you what was it that made you so upset but didn’t say a word.

“I’m right here if you need me” he motioned towards the bed on the other side of the room. You quietly nodded and watched as he got back into bed. Turning away from him you could feel the embarrassment from what had just happened yet you were surpsied by how gentle he handled it. It was a new side you both had seen of each other.

The next day you did your best to stay clear from wherever Eduardo could be, and so you decided to stay in the room.

Just one more day of this, one day and you’d be gone. Joel explained to you that he would be going over something with Marlene leaving you by yourself. You assured him it was fine and sat on the bed reading a book you always carried around after making sure the door was locked. Sometime had passed when you heard the door unlock and you figured it was Joel. Laying comfortably facing the wall you flipped the page hearing the door close behind you.

“What happened with Marlene?” You asked when you felt the touch of a hand on your arm making you turn to see it was the very person you had been trying to avoid.

Edward

Quickly you jumped up, your back against the wall as he smirked at your reaction.

“It’s been a while” you couldn’t speak, you couldn’t believe he was right in front of you.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost” he chuckled placing his hand on your thigh. If you could move any further away you would’ve, he could see how anxious he made you.

“Relax, sweetheart I’m not gonna do anything” he licked his bottom lip pushing his hand further up your thigh.

“I just wanted to say hi to an old friend”

He leaned in and kissed your cheek as you tried to turn away.

“It’s a shame you’re leaving tomorrow, thought we could’ve had some fun” he laughed walking back out of the room and closed the door shut.

In shock you sat there with disgust, the simple touch or his hand on your thigh making you sick to your stomach.

You couldn’t do this, you didn’t care about a damn car no matter how badly you both needed it. Quickly you got up running to the door locking it shut once again afraid he would return.

Where the hell was Joel…all you wanted to do was leave.

After what felt like forever you finally heard the door begin to unlock, your heart jumping at the sound.

“Joel?” You called out worriedly to see his face as soon as the door opened.

“Yeah, it’s me” he walked past you not noticing the panic attack you were feeling in that moment.

You watched as he fold a paper and placed it in his backpack, a knot in your throat you struggled to speak.

“Joel” you finally were able to utter a word in a soft whisper. Going through his backpack he didn’t respond not having heard your voice. You struggled to speak again, stomach turning just at the thought of your rapist knowing where you were…the fact that he came to you when you were alone..

“Joel” you spoke a little louder where he was able to hear you.

“Yea” he responded as he zipped up his bag.

“Joel…I can’t stay here another night” you blurt out.

“What?” He asked confused with your statement still not looking back.

“We’re fine here, it’s just till the afternoon’” he assured you making your panic rise.

“No, I…Joel I can’t stay here” he noticed how your voice trembled and slowly turned to you. His eyebrows furrowed once he noticed the worry in your eyes.

“What’s the matter?” He stood straight fully facing you.

“Can we just go?” You didn’t want to give the reason, you didn’t want to speak of it.

“We’re getting the car tomorrow, its just one more night-“

“Joel please” you whispered taking a deep breath making him take a step closer. He stood silent, he could tell something had terrified you.

“Somethin’ happen while I was gone?” He asked making you quickly shake your head.

“No, no just please-“ you began to hyperventilate.

“I can’t, I can’t-“ you struggled to breathe when someone knocking on the door made you run into Joels arms. Confused he looked down at you slowly placing his hands on your back sensing the true horror you felt.

“Hey, hey it’s alright, it’s alright” he whispered feeling you shake in his arms. It was like the night before, all over again only this time something in your waking life was scaring the shit out of you. The sound of another knock making you grab onto his shirt.

“Give me a minute!” He called out feeling you hide your face against his chest.

“Hey” he whispered low looking down at you but before he could say another word Edwards voice heightened your fear.

“It’s me, Edward” your eyes widened as you silently began to shake your head.

“What is it, darlin’?” Your panic not allowing you to realize the softness Joel had in his voice with concern over you. The door suddenly opening sending you rushing behind Joel.

Edward appeared at the door.

“I was just making sure you guys had what you needed” a smile Joel didn’t trust appeared on his lips as he leaned over to get a peak at you. You felt Joel’s hand reach behind you holding you against him.

Edward could see the defensive look in Joel’s eyes and wondered if you had told him anything.

“What’s wrong with her?” He asked testing what he would say.

“I got her” is all Joel responded with as Edward looked at him curiously. Not saying another word Edward took a step back giving Joel a nod before leaving the room. Joel waited until he disappeared from his site before giving your thigh a tap behind him.

“He’s gone” he assured you making you slowly peak over his shoulder to see the empty hallway that led to the room. Quickly you ran to the door shutting it closed and locking it with each lock it had.

“We need to get our stuff and get out of here now” you ran to grab your bag and his before he tried to stop you.

“Wait a minute, wait-“ he grabbed you by your arms stopping you before you grabbed anything else. Joel was struggling to understand what exactly had you so afraid of this man.

“Joel, we need to go-“

“Talk to me for a minute”

“No! There’s nothing to talk about, I am not staying here!” You screamed trying to break free from his hold.

“What the hell did he do to you?!”

“Nothing!” You tried to shake his hands off you once more but failed.

“We can’t leave without that car, we need that car if we wanna make it-“

“I don’t care! I’m not staying here with him!”

“He’s not gonna do anything to you, darlin’ I promise you that-“ you shook your head in frustration that he wasn’t understanding.

“He won’t lay a finger on you-“

“He already has!” You suddenly blurt out silencing Joel. An intense look in his eyes as he took a deep breath looking down at you.

“What did he do?” His voice was low, eerie like, suddenly he looked angry as you stood still before him.

“It was long ago” you whispered.

“Doesn’t matter” he quickly responded.

“I had told Tess, I never thought I would see him again….it was a year ago…I had nowhere to go and he said he would help me. He’s the man who raped me.” you looked down as a tear rolled down your cheek.

“Did he come in here while I was gone?” He leaned in closer. You looked up and hesitantly nodded when he abruptly walked out past you charging down the hall.

“Joel!” You called out for him trying to keep up but all Joel could see was red.

“What are you doing?!” You yelled as he kicked the door open where Marlene and Edward both were. Without warning he yanked up Edward by his collar throwing him against the wall as Marlene stood up.

“Joel what the hell are you doing?”

“Stay out of this” he looked at her with a look you had never seen and grabbed Edward once again as he struggled to get on his feet.

“Whatever she said she’s a lying bitch!” He tried to poorly defend himself causing Joel to punch him repeatedly. In shock you stood in the doorway watching it all play out, Joel had lost complete control until Edward was a bloody mess.

“Oh my god-“ you whispered.

Joel stood up and walked towards Marlene who backed up not knowing what he would do.

“Give me the fucking keys” he spoke out of breath. Not even trying to fight him she opened the drawer and tossed him the car keys before he looked back at Eduardo.

“Should be more careful of who you have workin’ for ya. Got a rapist on your hands” Joel walked out of the room without looking at you in the eye, taking your hand he led you out.

In disbelief you walked alongside him trying to keep up, at one point looking behind you.

He still wouldn’t say a word.

Joel opened the car door for you and quickly got in the drivers seat before driving off.

Speeding down the road he didn’t take his eyes off it before abruptly pulling over. You could see him though the corner of your eye turning his body fully toward you, you didn’t know what to expect.

“You don’t ever keep somethin’ like that from me again. We clear?” You nodded in silence looking down at your lap.

“We would’ve never stayed there for even one night had I know what he done to you. You ever feel unsafe again I need ya to tell me and you tell me right away”

“Yes Joel” you whispered.

Turning back towads the road he pulled off feeling he came off kind of harsh towards you which wasn’t what he wanted. Unexpectedly you felt him place his hand on your lap bringing you a sense of calmness. He slowly entangled his fingers with yours without looking your way, you had no idea what this meant but one thing was for sure..

Joel made you feel safe.

[traumatrios]

thinking about…

luke taking care of you when you’re sick.

one morning you’ll wake up and suddenly your throat is sore as fuck and you can’t breathe through your nose— a deadly combination. coupled with the fact you have scattered bruises and growing pains sprouting in your body, to say the least, you were not going outside today.

now this probably developed from overworking your body and mingling with various campers because i mean, it was bound to happen to somebody!

luke would have to find out about your sickness from one of your siblings, but he’d be hot in his heels to get to your bedside. you don’t even realize he’s there until you feel the callused skin of his knuckles pressing against your forehead and his worried voice muttering a, “gods, you’re burning up on me, angel.”

the medic cabin doesn’t really take in run-of-the-mill sick campers because they like to keep the beds open at all times but luke convinces them to let you lay in a cot so your cold doesn’t affect your siblings.

so you lay in a cot all day. luke managed to cancel almost all of his sword fighting lessons (leaving a few to spare because you were stubborn on not letting him get stuck in here with you). he’d practically be shoving water and mortal medicine (aka aleve) into your mouth, with a hearty and warm meal when appropriate.

say you’re a child of athena, whom we know is graced with the powerful yet self deprecating trait of ambition. you’d be begging to finish up work or helping annie with strategies for future games and luke would be there to press your shoulders back on the thin mattress of the cot and tuck you in so you’re as snug as a bug in a rug.

or let’s say you’re a child of apollo, nearly being brought to tears when you hear your own gravely and weak voice echo through the air. “my poor voice!” you’d cry “what will i have if i don’t have my voice?” and luke would just sit there with a tired sigh and the roll of his eyes.

he’d always have his hand around a Kleenex box because he always seemed to sense when you’d sneeze and would shove it into your chest quick enough so you could catch whatever resulted in said sneeze.

or imagine lowkey germaphobe!luke triple masked and gloved— he might as well have a full hazmat suit on. you’d go the entire day shooting him a side eye when he’d jump back in his stool if you’d so much cough in his direction.

either way he would never leave your side until you were better :)

loverschatbox, 2024

[blue-jisungs]

felix felicis

summary. befriending minghao, the slytherin your friends (no one knows why) hated was horrifying at first. but after some time passed, you’d start wondering if it was some unknown side effects of felix felicis

word count. 7k. wtf.

warnings. mentions of social anxiety, swearing

genre. fluff with a pinch of angst i guess? angst/comfort? however u call it + a lil bit of humour :D

au. hogwarts :D slytherin!hao x hufflepuff!reader

extra. svt cameo and (g)idle cameo bc queen card is stuck in my head + i remembered that one minnie photo in slytherin scarf and i was like??? let’s gooo!!

a/n. this was so fun to write???? lmk if u like hogwarts au, i might write more in such vibes in the future!!! :D

you stormed into the classroom, textbooks almost falling out of your arms. you quickly scanned the room to see if snape was there… and of course he was there.

“um, good morning! i’m sorry for being late” you blurted out, walking over to your friends.

“what was it this time, miss l/n?” snape grunted, his eyes piercing your soul.

“the stairs” you mumbled, ready to shuffle over to mingyu, your friend. the slytherins snickered at your answer and snape stopped you with a tsk.

“miss l/n, since you’re late let me enlighten you. you’re doing a pair project on brewing felix felicis. and since you’re late you’ll be working with…” snape paused dramatically, looking for someone who didn’t have a pair “… mr xu”

“oh that’s just bullshit” seungkwan hissed, crossing his arms. dokyeom gasped dramatically.

“mr boo, i believe it is my task to pair students. if you’re disagreeing with that, you’re disagreeing with me. which means…” snape stopped, leaving the conclusion to seungkwan.

“just you wait until we tell soonyoung or seungcheol” kwan whispered to you. your older friends will be outraged as well, that’s for sure.

“move to your partner’s desk, miss l/n” your professor ordered and you gave last pleading look to your friends and slowly moved over to minghao, a fellow slytherin.

“poor y/nnie…” mingyu sighed.

it’s not like you personally hated slytherins or had a problem with minghao and his friends. it was your friends who didn’t like them (especially the gryffindors – seungkwan, soonyoung, deokyeom and chan). the main reason of your fear was purely your social anxiety and separation from your friends. and, well, the fact the slytherins were slightly intimidating. you heard they were gossiping about your friends and merlin knows if they weren’t gossiping about you either.

as snape started his introduction to felix felicis, you stood next to minghao. your fingers anxiously played with the hem of your book, avoiding eye contact.

minghao sighed, regretting his friends were older than him (which meant they had different classes right now). well, he’ll just complain about it later. suddenly he caught minnie and shuhua, his slytherin peers, looking at him playfully.

there goes discretion.

“cat got your tongue?” he asked out of the blue, causing you to look up. you shook your head, trying to figure out what to say. hi i’m y/n? how are you? the weather is nice today?

“no” you said softly after a short while “i’m just listening”

“oh? you always seem extra chatty during potions when you’re with those half bloods though” minghao smirked, looking at your friends. you did the same.

seungkwan made a gesture of cutting his throat, which made you scoff.

“but i’m assuming that’s good you’re listening for once. because don’t you dare mess up the position” the dark haired boy’s voice made you turn around slowly, eyes widening “what? felix felicis usually takes up to five months to brew and i wanna get it done as soon as possible”

“oh” you mumbled. minghao fell quiet too, noticing the crease between your brows. suddenly you nodded, sending him a soft smile “i see. i’ll try my best”

you started taking notes of what snape was saying. minghao though, was surprised.

you were so… gentle. no snarky comments that’s he’s a mean, bad slytherin.

that was refreshing, to say at least.

after the class came to an end, you closed your books and said a quiet goodbye to minghao, rushing to mingyu and your other friends.

“how did you even survive?” seungkwan laughed, side eyeing the slytherin boy that was passing you by.

“hey! it wasn’t bad! he’s nice!” you frowned, following your friends’ tracks and going to find the others.

minghao smiled softly upon hearing your words and went to find his mates before the gossip reaches them.

all the potion classes so far were… peaceful. you worked mostly in silence. but not in awkward silence. his presence was comforting to be around and your gut told you that he’s feeling the same way too. minghao never really give you snarky, mean comments. well, maybe towards your friends or directly at them when they were staring. but never you.

somehow, you weren’t late for the today’s classes. in fact, you were even a little earlier. with no sight of your friends anywhere near, you leaned against the wall and grabbed the book you were currently reading.

lost in your world, you didn’t notice that minghao arrived. he was looking at you with curiosity and even wanted to approach you, when jun showed up.

“oh, i’ve been looking for you!” jun called suddenly, causing you to jerk in surprise. you noticed the two slytherins, wondering when they arrived here.

as you slid down the wall and sat on the floor to continue reading, the boys started talking.

“what do you want?” minghao asked calmly, his eyes still glued to you, a soft smile forming on his face when he recognised the book you were reading. jun turned around, smiling playfully and swinging on his feet.

“are you coming to the three broomsticks this weekend? you didn’t answer jeonghan when he asked you” jun hummed. minghao nodded, shifting his gaze to his friend “good. because we have a lot of things to talk about”

“what do you mean?” minghao grunted and jun just wriggled his brows. the younger punched him, causing jun to squeal.

“okay, okay! you need to start meditating again” jun chuckled and managed to duck another punch that was coming his way “okay! i’m going! have fun!”

minghao just rolled his eyes and once jun was gone, the doors to the classroom opened.

“since you’re here already you can come in” snape announced and disappeared again in the dark classroom.

minghao walked up to you and reached his hand out.

you looked up, closing your book. as a confused frown painted on your face, dokyeom, seungkwan, mingyu and vernon appeared in the hallway.

“don’t make me wait” minghao mumbled coldly. you sent him a warm smile and grabbed his hand. he pulled you gently, helping you stand up.

“YAH!”

you didn’t turn around, you whose voice was that (dokyeom’s). minghao though, tilted his head slightly and send a small smirk to your friends.

“thank you” a hum left your lips and the slytherin nodded, going into the classroom.

mingyu ran up to you, grabbing your face.

“are you okay?!” he yelled out dramatically, causing you to giggle.

the progress on your potion so far was amazing. it had the right consistency although there was still a lot of work ahead. not to mention your bonds. you didn’t even notice when you started getting along and becoming closer, chatting more and more during the lesson. you discovered that you two have a lot in common and in fact, minghao isn’t that bad as your friends think. he’s pretty cool once you got to know him and above all, you enjoyed his company.

while he was chopping something, you turned around to grab one of the ingredients but in process your wand fell on the floor.

you leaned down to grab it, cursing underneath your breath at your clumsiness. minghao put his hand on the corner of the desk, scanning carefully if you’re not gonna bump into it.

luckily you didn’t – and even if you did, you would bump onto his hand and not the sharp corner. you straightened your back and met vernon’s shocked (frightened, even) gaze. as you turned around you saw minghao taking away his hand and coming back to work. his face was the same, not showing any emotions and simply unbothered.

as blush crept up on your cheeks, you came back to work. suddenly you heard some whispers.

carefully looking around you noticed minnie talking to shuhua, glancing at you.

“did you see that?”

your stomach dropped, your hands starting to sweat. what did they mean by that? but you didn’t do anything… right?

“why did he do that?”

you didn’t even hear when minghao asked you something. you stared at the desk, mind racing with thoughts.

sudden touch on your shoulder made you flinch, your eyes flicking over to worried minghao.

“are you okay?” he asked quietly. letting out a shaky breath, you didn’t realise you were holding, you nodded “you’re a terrible liar”

“isn’t that a good thing though?” you asked with a smile, trying to calm down. minghao scoffed and you took a glance at minnie.

“hufflepuffs…” he mumbled and saw you’re looking away. when he met his friend’s gaze, she stopped gossiping and started working again. minnie’s eyes were locked on minghao’s hand on your shoulder. he took it off, realisation hitting him “i’ll talk to her”

“what? no! what do you mean?” you panicked, tugging his sleeve. this caused his eyes to widen. well, not only his but also your friends’. you cleared your throat and took your hand away “i mean… it’s nothing”

“sure” he grunted angrily, returning to his previous task “don’t mess up the potion”

you but your lip worriedly, nodding slowly. great, you made him angry.

when the lesson ended, you grabbed your stuff and left the classroom. he probably thinks you’re weird now. and what was gonna minnie think about you? it’s not like you wanted to get her in trouble. it’s just…

“yah, y/n!” minghao’s voice made you turn around. you stopped in the middle of the crowd, someone bumping over your shoulder.

seungcheol happened to talk with your ravenclaw friends - joshua, jihoon and wonwoo. they were probably waiting for you to finish your classes since after them you were supposed to go to the three broomsticks. however once seungcheol noticed minghao is bothering you, he was ready to intervene.

you blinked at the slytherin boy as he approached you.

“did i say something?” he asked quietly, aware of your friends watching.

“no! it’s just…” you trailed off, trying to find a way to word your worries without sounding like a weirdo. he’s friends with minnie after all. minghao was waiting patiently “you don’t have to talk to minnie. she was just chatting and i… i guess i was just overthinking. i didn’t want to make you mad or something….”

he scoffed.

you know that it was an amused scoff. seungcheol however, thought it was making fun of you kind of scoff.

“hey, minghao! don’t you have better things to do?” your older friend called, walking over to you. jihoon rolled his eyes.

“none of your business. i’m not talking to you, you filthy–“ minghao stopped in his tracks, looking at you.

“don’t call him like that” you mumbled, sending him a grumpy look “and you, cheol, can you give us a moment?”

“no, it’s fine. i won’t say a thing to minnie, if that’s what you want” minghao grunted, sending seungcheol an angry look. then, shifting his gaze towards you his features softened ever so slightly “and i wasn’t mad at you. i was mad at minnie. but anyways… see you soon”

he walked away, disappearing in the crowd of students.

“what the fuck was that?” seungcheol growled. he wasn’t too happy to find out that you’re working with minghao and now that you seem to be… talking to him? he has a bad feeling. well, not only him.

“it was a normal conversation” you sighed and saw vernon, mingyu, seungkwan and dokyeom coming your way.

“oh my god! did you see that?!” seungkwan yelled out, catching the older’s attention.

“what? don’t even tell me it was something bad, i wanna beat him up already” soonyoung crossed his arms. suddenly chan joined you, making the group complete.

“he–“ mingyu started and you just walked up to the ravenclaws, joshua linking his arm with you.

“they’re overreacting, aren’t they?” wonwoo giggled upon seeing your annoyed look.

“they so are! he’s not bad! they just… didn’t get to know him. i don’t get the slytherin hate” you grunted “not all of them are bad, right?”

“right. it’s just that… you have to be careful. they’re overreacting, i agree, but we don’t want you to get sad” jihoon hummed

“why would i get sad?” you furrowed your brows. the three of them exchanged suspicious looks. joshua shrugged with a playful smile.

“in case cheol beats him up or something” wonwoo sighed dramatically. upon hearing his name, seungcheol skipped over to you.

“pfff… he’s so not going to beat him up. minghao knows material arts! isn’t that so cool?” your eyes lit up and you let out a squeak when seungcheol playfully punched your arm

“i would defeat him in two seconds!” he grinned goofily, causing you all to burst out laughing.

three months passed and you’d consider minghao your friend. at this point, you see each other every day. not only you have potions together but also transfiguration, defence against the dark arts and much more. you were always so focused on sticking to your friends that you never really realised he’s there. one day minghao even sat with you during history of magic since mingyu and vernon sat together – of course later on soonyoung gave you a lecture about running away if it happens again in the future. you didn’t. – and it stayed like that. even during other classes.

that’s how you ended up getting your first detention. you were trying to keep quiet but he was just telling you a story when jun fell asleep with his eyes open in the school corridor and scared the living shit out of filch.

“mrs l/n, mr xu! you can always go on a date after classes. mind telling us what’s so funny? or maybe you’re just so ahead with the book that you don’t have to listen during my lessons?” flitwick asked, causing you to freeze. you looked at the man, nodding politely as your cheeks turned red. minghao, however, wasn’t impressed.

“well, actually–“ he started, causing you to kick his ankle under the desk “ow!”

“actually what, mr xu?” flitwick rose his eyebrows. you felt the whole class gaze on you two, causing you to redden even more. you hate being in the centre of attention and minghao was certainly having the fun of his life.

“actually i’d love to present the spell we were just talking about. y/n explained it to me lately” minghao shrugged and your eyes widened.

“what are you–“ you started, unable to finish because–

“aqua eructo!” minghao waved his wand happily and you let out a yelp upon water landing all over your head “oh shit–!”

his smile faded away upon seeing you drenched in water… and the rest of the class being soaked.

so that’s how you ended up cleaning it without wands (“because it would be too easy, right?”)

“what were you thinking?” you laughed, wiping the floor while being on your knees.

“i just felt like showing off…” he giggled, looking over at you

“but?” you smiled, wiping the sweat off your forehead with your forearm.

“but… someone made me nervous” he smirked. you rose your eyebrows, looking at him.

“who? flitwick?” your question caused him to scoff, a toothy grin springing on his face.

“yeah, flitwick”

once you were finished it was past 10pm so if you were caught, you definitely would be in trouble.

“i’ll walk you to the dorms” minghao offered.

“but…” you started, not wanting him to lose his sleep time, that he already wasted on the cleaning.. he linked his arms with you with a shy smile.

“no buts. because of me you were stuck and had to help me with the mess. it’s the least i can do. and also… thank you” he explained and you looked at him, melting completely.

“no problem” you grinned and turned around, causing him to almost fall over “but you’re going the wrong way”

you were chatting quietly, almost arriving at your dorms, when suddenly minghao pulled you closer to hide behind a column.

“what–?!” you gasped, taken aback by his action. he just put his free hand over your mouth, head leaning back.

observing his handsome profile made you realise how close you were, his body pressing onto yours. if he turned his head, there would be very little space between your faces–

and he did just that. your heart skipped a bear when minghao looked at you, lips slightly parted. his chest was moving up and down irregularly, trying to keep his breathing as quiet as he could.

he slowly took off his hand from your mouth, sending you an apologetic smile. you looked at his lips quickly – and whether he noticed or not, minghao pulled back.

“filch” he gulped, nodding his head “but it’s safe now”

you nodded as well, realising you were holding onto his hand. you let it go, coughing awkwardly.

“you can go now, it’s close from here” you mumbled, looking up at him. he seemed a bit distracted, which was… weird.

“huh? oh. i’ll go, yeah. wait, do you… are you busy tomorrow?” he asked quietly. you blinked slowly. tomorrow? saturday.

“no. i mean no, i’m not busy” you whispered, trying to remember how to breathe. what was he–

“do you wanna, uh… hang out? in hogsmeade? we can meet after dinner and…” he stopped, clearing his throat. he looked at you nervously, trying to come up with an excuse if you haven’t agreed but–

“i’d love to” you sent him a warm smile. minghao’s eyes lit up, and so did his face.

“see you tomorrow then! and have a good night, y/n!” he grinned and waved happily. you waved back, wishing him a good night as well. you only left after he was gone, the echo of his footsteps turning into peaceful silence.

when you arrived to the dorm, you leaned against the wall. pressing your hand to your chest you realised how ridiculously fast was it beating. is it because of him? it has to be. fuck, did you fell in love or something? no, it’s just the fact that he wanted to hang out with you. alone. on saturday.

mingyu, vernon and cheol were waiting for you, heads turned your way the second they heard someone coming inside the common room. they looked at each other, surprised at your actions.

“i was so stressed! i thought he kidnapped you!” cheol yelled out, causing you to flinch. oh. they’re here. vernon grinned goofily upon your expression “so?! what happened?!”

“it’s just… nothing. nothing happened” you hummed, unable to stop smiling. mingyu let out a sudden gasp “nothing!”

“yeah, sure! why are you smiling like that?!” seungcheol whined.

“i had a fun time, that’s it” you mumbled and shook your head “i’m tired, bye!”

they watched you run to your dorm. vernon winked at mingyu and seungcheol frowned.

“a fun time? with minghao? something’s wrong” he sighed “i don’t like it… and him”

miyeon was looking at you amused as you were panicking, running around the dorm and digging through your clothes

“i shouldn’t be nervous. it’s not a date” you breathed out and grabbed your black and yellow striped sweater.

“it’s a date. also don’t take the sweater, it’s warm” miyeon giggled, standing up from the bed. you put it away, taking a deep sigh.

“you think it’s a date? he just asked if i’m busy today…” you trailed off, looking at her unsurely. thank merlin you had friends like her, with the boys you wouldn’t be able to even have a chat like that. and maybe that’s why you didn’t realise it was a date… or so miyeon said.

“it’s definitely a date. besides…” she trailed off. miyeon fixed your hair that were falling on your face “you look so pretty. now go. and remember, don’t stress”

“i’m not” you sent her a playful look and she just laughed

“if i seungcheol or soonyoung ask about you… uh, i’ll figure something out so don’t worry about that” she giggled mischievously and patted your back “now go, for god’s sake! and please don’t eat too fast during dinner, you’ll choke!”

“okay!” you saluted and stormed out of the girls dorm, causing the three of your hufflepuff friends chilling in the common room to turn their heads.

“minnie was so right, they’ll look so cute together” she whispered once you were gone, rushing to find her friends and tell them about the news.

you tried to follow miyeon’s advice, you really did but upon seeing minghao wearing his casual clothes and waiting for you… you couldn’t help but speedily wolf down your food.

before approaching him you looked around if there are some familiar faces. fortunately, there weren’t. which was suspicious to be honest but at the moment it wasn’t your biggest worrry.

you left the great hall and noticed him leaning against the wall, his features pensive. however, his eyes lit up upon seeing you and you couldn’t help but mirror the wide smile he gave you.

“hi” you hummed, standing in front of him. minghao scanned your face, a mysterious glint in his eyes

“hi y/n. did you sleep well?” he asked, tilting his head. such a simple question and yet, your heart is going crazy. and you didn’t sleep well… you had troubles falling asleep due to excitement rushing through every vein and vessel in your body but obviously you’re not going to tell him that–

“i did, thank you for asking. and you? hopefully you didn’t run into flich on your way back?” you gasped. minghao shook his head and gestured you to start walking.

while you were chatting during the walk to hogsmeade, your hands brushed a couple of times. you tried your best to ignore it but you had a bad feeling that he was well aware of it as well.

“it’s so… oddly empty today, isn’t it?” you blurted out, the path looking nothing like usually on weekends: swarmed with crowds of excited students. and right now… nothing. just you, him and birds chirping in the trees.

“there’s a quidditch match today so i figured i’d be the perfect opportunity to… you know, hang out” he said a bit shyly

“oh yeah. i didn’t even think about this. that’s good, i’m afraid seungcheol would kill me. and you. if he saw us” a heavy sigh left your mouth and he just chuckled.

“i’ve been wondering… how did you even become friends?” minghao asked. his hand once again accidentally brushed yours, sending sparks down your spine.

“well… at first it was only mingyu and vernon. i just sticked to them after the sorting hat announced we’re hufflepuffs. vernon became friends with seungkwan and dokyeom, who were friends with soonyoung since he accidentally got them in trouble at their first day. mingyu befriended wonwoo and seungcheol. and seungcheol is older, so he was already friends with joshua and jihoon. it just… they kind of adopted me” you laughed, a bright smile painted on his lips too “and i don’t mind. i really have problems with socialising so well, yeah, it was awkward at first but i’m really glad i’m friends with them. sometimes they make you extroverted even if you’re the most socially awkward person ever. which i am. and because of that chan is our friend too! i adopted him”

minghao grinned, looking at your proud face. he recalled how many times you were hanging out with the younger gryffindor boy which now made extra sense.

“same with the girls, kind of. my roommate is miyeon! and miyeon is friends with soyeon and yuqi. i mean we’re not that close as i am with the boys but still, i love hanging out with them” you explained, crossing your arms. speaking of which, did miyeon even check the weather? it wasn’t that warm…

“you do know that they’re friends with minnie and shuhua, right?” minghao asked slowly, scanning your face.

“yeah, of course! that’s kind of why… back then i didn’t want you to talk to minnie. it bothered me because i was overthinking, you know… what would she think of me? she’d tell soyeon and then they would stop hanging out with me” you grumbled and minghao let a soft laugh.

“oh, y/n. they wouldn’t do that, i promise. you’re too precious” he hummed and noticed how you’re rubbing your bare arms “are you cold?”

“just a bit, but…” your voice trailed off when minghao stopped in his tracks and took off his grey hoodie. he stood behind you and helped you put it on. after that, he came back in front of you and zipped it gently.

“here you go” he hummed and you swore his ears were tinted red.

“thank you” you mumbled, not really sure what’s the source of your warmth: his hoodie or your glowing red cheeks.

in a matter of time you arrived to three broomsticks, the local not so fully crowded. minghao ordered two butter beers for you and went to find a seat while you excused yourself to the bathroom.

upon seeing your reflection you had to take a few deep breaths. his hoodie was too big on you but you liked it. besides, it actually went along with your outfit. not to mention that it smelled like him. you shook your head, trying to pull yourself together. it’s just a hoodie that he gave you because you were cold. stop being weird–

you left the bathroom and noticed minghao sitting at a table with… jeonghan and jun. he was faced back to you, so naturally he didn’t see you and his friends didn’t seem to notice you either.

you walked up, not wanting to eavesdrop but…

“what are you doing here? two beers? is that a date?!” jun sing-sung and suddenly let out a gasp, realisation settling in “with the hufflepuff girl–?!”

“what? no! shut up!” minghao grunted. jeonghan frowned, tilting his head

“that one girl that’s always attached to those bloody gryffindors? and seungcheol?” he asked and minghao started panicking.

“well yeah but– it’s not a date. it’s nothing serious. we just came here to discuss the potion, that’s it. once we’re done with it i’m done with her too” minghao explained, his breath shaking “she pisses me off, really…”

your heart dropped, hands starting to shake. so cheol was right from the begging…

“what do you mean?! you’re basically glued to each other and like, it’s nothing bad” jun frowned. your vision started getting blurry because of the tears forming in your eyes. you should go before they notice you.

“jun, end of topic. i don’t even like her that much, get it?” minghao snapped and you let out a deep breath “she’s so annoying! it’s like a torture being around her–“

“uh, minghao…” jeonghan sighed, his gaze shifting. he turned around and saw you leaving.

minghao’s heart dropped. fuck, fuck, fuck. it wasn’t supposed to be like that! why did he even…

he stood up, running after you. jun looked at his older friend and grabbed the two butter beers that minghao left behind.

“he doesn’t like her, huh? does he think we’re blind or what?” jun scoffed and they laughed, taking a sip of the beverage.

“well he may like here but she sure won’t like him now” jeonghan rolled his eyes at the younger’s stupidity.

you were wiping your cheeks, heart thumping against your rib cage. your mind was racing with thoughts but the most repetitive one was that your friends were right.

“y/n!”

he was coming after you. why bother now? you didn’t stop, harsh sobs leaving your mouth.

suddenly you bumped into something or rather, someone.

“hey! hey, y/n? oh baby!” soyeon’s voice was filled with worry and you just hugged onto her “what happened?”

you just shook your head. soyeon hugged you tightly and noticed minghao coming your way.

“i see. this asshole” she grunted and turned around, leading you towards the castle.

minghao stopped upon seeing that. right. it was probably for the best to give you some time now…? or at least talk to you alone.

well, luck wasn’t by his side.

“–the hit? i swear, you’re like a tiger when you enter the field!” chan grinned and soonyoung laughed loudly.

“isn’t that y/n?” wonwoo asked suddenly, pointing at you

they all turned around, eyes widening upon noticing your shaking body. soyeon and yuqi were walking with you, the gryffindor girl wiping your tears.

chan wanted to walk up to you but yuqi noticed him and gave him a warning look.

“not now” jihoon mumbled, pulling him back.

“what happened?” dokyeom whispered. they all watched how the girls walked you back to the dorms.

“as if i know” seungkwan rolled his eyes. joshua gasped suddenly and rushed the other way.

“what’s up with him?” seungcheol shook his head. you’ll definitely have to talk to them later.

miyeon patted your hair as you bawled your eyes out, tightly hugging your pillow.

“why do i care so much?” you breathed out, looking at her confused.

“oh, y/nnie…” she sighed, concern on her face. then it hit you.

because you like him. way more than a friend.

minghao haven’t seen you the whole weekend. he only got a lecture from minnie and shuhua about hurting your feelings, not being able to treat girls properly and all of that. as if he didn’t know he messed up. they told him you were crying the whole time and even if he didn’t believe them, the sight of you on a monday morning a proof. and it was heart breaking. especially that he knew he was the source of it.

during your lessons you sat with vernon. your friends probably didn’t know what happened yet since they seemed confused and seungcheol or soonyoung haven’t spoken to him yet. besides joshua, he kept side eyeing the slytherins every time they passed you by, especially jeonghan.

and for the first time ever minghao was looking forward to potions. you’ll have to talk to him, right? you can sit with someone else during charms but during potions you’re his partner.

however, you were absent.

“where’s miss l/n?” snape asked, clicking his tongue.

“she isn’t feeling very well, she went to madam pomfrey” mingyu explained, his voice lacking the usual enthusiasm. he looked over at minghao, and if only looks could kill...

“i see. next week i’m going to grade your potions so someone tell her that she’ll better be here” he said and have minghao a questioning look.

“what if he poisoned her? you know, so he can gain all the credits?!” seungkwan gasped a little too loudly, causing to draw attention to him.

“you’re being too dramatic, mr boo. and if mr xu did happen to do that, i’ll make sure he gets the proper punishment” snape hissed and the lesson begun.

minghao felt strange without your presence.

seungcheol grabbed your arm when you were leaving the great hall after supper. the bags under your eyes made his heart clench.

“hey, y/n. are you okay? because clearly…” he started. suddenly jihoon joined you, crossing his arms. you let out a sigh, trying to look away but you met minghao’s gaze. well to be fair, you were standing in the middle of the room.

“i’m fine. just a little sick, that’s all” you grunted “can you let me go? i’m tired”

“we need to talk” seungcheol said, voice stern. soonyoung noticed you all and stood up from your seat to join you.

“i’m tired” you repeated coldly. seungcheol turned around and saw minghao looking your way

“then i’ll just talk to him” he grunted and let you go. jihoon grabbed his arm, preventing him from going further and pointed at you.

tears gathered at your water line as you let out a deep sigh.

“y/n, chan asked you to meet with him at the gryffindor quidditch team locker room” joshua’s voice appeared from nowhere, drawing everyone’s attention. soonyoung, who joined you, frowned.

“mkay” you mumbled quietly and wiped your tears with shaky hands “i’ll talk to you later, i promise”

when you walked away, soonyoung punched seungcheol

“what did you do! you made her cry!” he grunted.

“no i didn’t!” the older yelled. while the gryffindors argued, jihoon came back to his seat. because of that none of them noticed jeonghan and minghao passing them by and the older one winking at joshua.

you sat down at the bench, waiting for chan. looking down on the floor, you were busy with swinging your feet. suddenly you heard the door open and you let out a sigh.

“finally you’re here” a hum left your mouth, the sound of door closing disturbing the quietness of the room “i’m not in the best mood to talk so sorry if…”

you looked up and words died in your throat upon seeing minghao. he was just as confused as you.

the room felt silent again (for different reasons though), tension thickening.

“y/n i need to-“ he started but you stood up, passing him by and pushing the door. well, wanting to. they didn’t bulge a bit.

“y/nnie i locked the door! have fun~!” joshua’s happy voice from the other side made you gasp

“you traitor!” you grunted, looking around slowly at minghao.

“wait, jeonghan?” he called out, frowning.

“yeah. just talk it through already, i don’t want to wait here for the whole day” jeonghan said

“why would you…?” you murmured and started looking for your wand. oh.

“let’s go further away though, let them have some privacy” joshua’s voice sounded worried and there were steps echoing on the other side.

“i wanna listen though–!” jeonghan whined.

after a moment there was silence again. minghao was looking at you, his eyes filled with guilt.

“y/n, listen to me please” he spoke softly, playing with his fingers.

“why would i? aren’t i a torture to be around with? why you even bother?” you grunted and returned to the bench, looking away from him.

it hurt. you avoided him because whenever you looked at him, your heart shattered into pieces again and again.

“i’m sorry”

you gulped, trying to look unbothered.

the sound of his steps approaching and him sitting on the bench didn’t help your case.

“i’m so fucking sorry. it’s… i shouldn’t have said that. never. i know it was horrible and i’m in no place to make excuses but listen to me, please” he said, his voice filled with genuine pain. you turned around, yet you didn’t face him. gaze stuck on the floor, as if the dust there was the most interesting thing ever, you started drumming your fingers anxiously against the bench’s surface.

“i was scared. i was scared that my friends will judge me; i was scared that they’ll tell my parents; i was scared of others, what will they think: a slytherin with a hufflepuff? i was scared… because i panicked. i panicked… because i like you. but i was afraid that if somehow someone would find out, you’d be in danger and–“ minghao sucked a breath and you noticed how close his hand was next to you, your pinkies brushing against each other “i didn’t mean any of those words that i said. well…”

minghao scanned your face. he was frightened. you were sitting silently, not answering him. will you ever forgive him.

“well?” you choked out, chest heavy.

“being around you is like a torture because i’m madly in love with you. it hurts me physically to look at you crying, to look at your pretty face and knowing i can’t kiss it. to see how wildly you’re grinning at those stupid loud ass gryffindors’ jokes–“ he halted, eyes widening. fuck, he overshared. he overshared and you’ll hate him even more than you did–

you grabbed his hand, giving it a small squeeze. minghao’s face heated up upon the gesture, his heart skipping a beat. what does this mean? are you comforting him or…?

you’re crying.

“y/n, no no no no… don’t cry, please” he panicked, leaving to kneel in front of you. with your free hand you covered your face, the rest of your body shaking.

“you’re making me cry so much, i hate you” you let out a breathy laugh, wiping your eyes even though the tears wouldn’t stop.

“what?” he whispered, his thumb reassuringly stroking your hand.

“you like me?” you chuckled, finally looking at him. his brown irises were focused on you, features softening.

“did you just full on ignore the apology part?” he scoffed, brining a smile on both of your faces

“i… i’m not going to lie, i was hurt. i felt like i was betrayed: a someone who i treated as a friend said he hated me… but… you were scared? oh, hao… i’d be an idiot to forgive you but well, aren’t i already?” you whispered. minghao tried to ignore the swarm of butterflies that appeared in his stomach due to the nickname, his head plopping down and resting against your knee.

“i’m so sorry. i’ll never forgive myself for hurting you like that. i know i broke your trust and heart probably. but please… please give me another chance” he breathed out.

you tapped his arm lightly. the slytherin boy rose his head up, eyes shining with anticipation.

“see, there’s one thing you need to know: i like you. and that horrible event made me realise that. so i’d say give me a kiss and i’ll give you a chance–“ you broke into laughter when he eagerly stood up. when he leaned closer, you put your hand on his lips, giggling even more upon his confused expression “–but for merlin’s sake i do not want our first kiss to take place in this stinky locker room”

eyes widening, minghao leaned away. with a soft oh he scrunched up his nose.

“okay, i think i know where we can go. but… jeonghan and joshua…?” he rose his eyebrows.

“easy there, lover boy” you stood up, letting go of his hand. minghao’s heart was racing, the realisation hitting him: you like him. you forgave him. and you’re willing to kiss him? if not the fact that your felix felicis wasn’t finished, he would have thought that someone poured it into his tea.

“hey bro, not to interrupt your meditation or whatever but y/n is gone” jeonghan’s voice made him snap back to reality, dropping the smile that subconsciously formed on his lips

“where’d she go?” minghao asked, looking at his older friend. jeonghan was smiling suspiciously, a mischievous smirk on his face.

minghao rushed after you, apparently walking back to your dorm.

“y/n!” he called upon seeing you in the hallway. he run up to you, ignoring the weird looks from strangers and gasps from your girl friends (including minnie’s “i told you!” and yuqi’s “wait, they made up?”)

you turned around, a goofy smile on your face.

“yeah?” your voice was filled with playfulness, alas your eyes were glinting with excitement.

“can i please kiss you? i feel like i might explode if i don’t” minghao breathed out, chest rising up and down irregularly.

“you’re not afraid of what will others think?” you teased, tilting your head slightly.

“i’ll be honest, the moment you called me a lover boy i feel like i was reborn” he grunted, his usual grumpy expression forming on his face once realising how cheesy he sounds “can i–?”

“yeah” you laughed and in no time his big, soft palms were cupping your cheeks tenderly. the air was knocked out of your lungs as soon as his pillowy lips landed against yours.

normally, your mind would be racing with what ifs: what if the others think you’re weird? what if your friends see you? what if the teachers catch you? but now… minghao soothed away your anxiety and nervousness, his embrace and the feeling of him and only him making you forget about the world.

loud cheers and applause (coming from your girl friends) in the hallway made you smile into the kiss, and he reacted the same way. without pulling away yet you put your hands on his neck, trying to bring him even closer.

minghao pulled away but didn’t lean back too far. you could see the sparks in his eyes, soft smile on his lips. and you couldn’t stare at him like that for the whole day of not the yells in the background becoming louder and louder.

“can we run away somewhere? i can hear seungcheol approaching and i do not want to be beaten up by him… and also we could have one or two more kisses…?” he mumbled looking through his shoulder to see, in fact, your older friend. soyeon, shuhua and jihoon were trying to stop him while yuqi, minnie were arguing about something with soonyoung and seungkwan (“leave them alone it’s not like he’s hurting her?!” “but the sight is hurting my eyes-!”). miyeon and wonwoo were shaking their heads, chan and vernon signalled you to run.

so you did, giggling. minghao’s hand was squeezing yours, fingers intertwined.

you stormed into the classroom, textbooks almost falling out of your arms. you quickly scanned the room to see if snape was there… and of course he was there.

“um, good morning! i’m sorry for being late” you blurted out, walking over to your desk.

“what was it this time, miss l/n?” snape grunted, his eyes piercing your soul.

“sorry for being late– ” minghao bursted into the classroom, his tie loosened and collar all over the place, revealing his neck tinted in…

“ew” mingyu grunted. as the slytherin boy walked over to you, you fixed his collar with pink cheeks. you told him to do it but obviously he’s just an attention seeker… and he has a thing for showing off you’re a couple now.

snape was speechless. he turned around, sighing.

“prepare your potions. i’ll be checking them in a minute” he announced and you looked over at minghao, his eyes sparkling with boyish playfulness.

“idiot” you scoffed and nudged his arm.

you never used felix felicis, you just didn’t see any sense of even using a potion like that. despite that, you did feel lucky that you meet minghao while working on it. maybe it was just a side effect of felix felicis? or maybe just destiny?

[ masterlist <3 ]

taglist.  @geniejunn ,, @luvhyun3 ,, @starlostseungmin ,, @elviransworld ,, @jnks6r ,, @sieunsgf ,, @ethereallino ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @duolingofanaccount ,, @slytherinshua ,, @stxrseungs ,, @ka-ni-ma ,, @iliveforlixie ,, @ameliesaysshoo ,, @dazzlingligth ,, @mark-geolli ,, @l3visbby ,, @w3bqrl ,, @ddeonudepressions ,, @yourfavoritefreakyhan ,, @cinnamoroxie ,, @kazmura

[wonryllis]

𖹭ㅤENHYPEN WHEN YOU ACT CUTE AND CLINGY AFTER MESSING UP SOMETHING.

              ────𝖺𝗅𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗇𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗏𝖾𝗅𝗒, 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗆𝖾𝗅𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗂𝗋 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗍 𝗂𝗇 𝖺𝗇 𝗎𝗇𝖾𝗑𝗉𝖾𝖼𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗐𝖺𝗒. 

﹙NOTES.﹚ enhypen as down bad for you. fluff. fem!centered. lowercase intded. 1371wc. frm my old acct. 𓈃 ๋ 𝐍𝐄𝐖 峠

𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆 he isn’t phased at all in the beginning just simply enjoying the attention and showers of love and aegyo, the thought of something being wrong didn’t even cross his mind until you kept following him all around, not wanting to leave him alone for a second. for a while he observes your actions and then comes to the conclusion that something happened most probably something because of which you need comfort and love and attention and that is why you’re being so clingy. it is hours later when he is trying to find his airpods that he had recently lost and found again, when you admit that you had them in your hands when they slipped and rolled off into the almost negligible space under the bed and that is why you were acting so sweet and touchy. he will fake being upset to get a few more kisses and cuddles before forgiving you and telling that it’s okay, he isn’t mad or sad, and that he’ll just start using earphones from now since both of you being clumsy like this with airpods is not gonna work.

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐉𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆 will keep questioning why you’re behaving so over the top today while happily accepting all your clinginess and cute antics. he shyly laughs or smiles whenever you give him a kiss or hug and talk in a cute voice, especially in front of the members. as soon as you get distracted or leave for a moment he’s clearing his throat very loudly and calling you like ‘baby where did you go?’, will hardly notice that something is up rather he would take advantage of the situation to keep you beside him. few days later when he’s unable to find a particular perfume of his, his mind drifts to the thought of your behavior these past days yet he just assumes he’s kept the bottle somewhere and forgot, comes to ask you whether you’ve seen it or not. when you say no he actually believes it and you have to stop him and tell him that you accidentally broke it and that you were scared to tell him. will hold your face and give you a forehead kiss saying that he can never be mad at you and that you don’t have to be scared.

𝐒𝐈𝐌 𝐉𝐀𝐄𝐘𝐔𝐍 he’s surprised at first, like getting startled every time you come up to give him a sudden hug or kiss, or holding onto his hand and refusing to let go, following him and staying as close as possible but it’s making him happy and giddy and feel butterflies and have his heart beat at an unexplainable pace so he’s not gonna complain. smiles and giggles all the time, keeps saying i love you and making you flustered too. doesn’t suspect anything will literally never find out what happened if you don’t tell him even if he does find out there’s negative chance he’ll think that you’ve done it. in the end you gather up courage and tell him that you unintentionally tore up a part of his favorite fannel while trying it on, the material got stuck to an accessory you wore and you failed to realize it. will get a bit sad about it but will still forgive you. as compensation, he takes you with him for shopping and has you choose new ones for him to buy and even insists- no actually does end up buying two of a few ones so you can match.

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐍 takes him very little time to get suspicious, whenever you cling onto him or do aegyo out of the blue or keep talking in a babish voice he eyes you like 'i know something is up’ but then you smile at him and the whipped boy forgets all about it. he savours how you call him all sorts of cringey petnames instead of the your usual one, if you say “honeybun~”, he’s like,“yes sugarcakes?” and everyone around is dying watching you both act like that, riki even captures a video to blackmail sunghoon with later. when he finds out the reason of you behaving clingy, that it was because you spilled coffee on his checkered coat and it left a stain and you didn’t know how to tell him that you ruined one of his favorite coats, he gets upset giving you silent treatment and sulking very visibly like almost intentionally to show you how disappointed he is and it’s not because you messed up the cloth but because you were acting so loving and cute just for the sake of the mistake. is back to normal after you apologize and continue your clinginess.

𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐎𝐎 reciprocates the clingy behavior and cuteness overload, random aegyos, cuddles, hugs, kisses and what not, it’s like given-taken. is so happy that like jake, sunoo too doesn’t notice or assume that something’s weird. it’s just another day filled with the love and attention of a full week, you are both stuck like glue and neither of you actually truly mind or give a care about how the members tease you. spending the entire day you almost forget why you’ve been like this to him, suddenly growing silent thinking if he finds out about what you did he’s gonna get sad and perhaps ignore you so much in contrast to what he’s like now and the fact that you’ll upset him makes you feel even worse. but if you don’t tell him it’s not gonna get any better so before you can have thoughts of backing out, you to blurt out to him about how you broke the handmade bracelet he made for you. his smile falls and he frowns, he’s upset but not as much as you had expected. and later he becomes excited to make another for you this time a stronger one.

𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐖𝐎𝐍 will take some time but definitely notice something’s off or out of place for you to suddenly start behaving this way, tries to think of it as you just getting a spurt of love for him, kinda like a sudden urge to make him feel special or something but still has the thought of you having done something you shouldn’t have at the back of his mind. nevertheless tries living in the moment and making most of what you offer. will never ever force it out of you, waits for you to tell him yourself if you’ve done something and if it’s something he should be made known about. goes on with his day and doesn’t let you think he suspects something, smiling wide and being a happy snowball. gets upset but tries to be as understanding as possible when you tell him you lost the ribbon tied around one of his cacti plant, assures you it’s okay, you did it unintentionally, it wasn’t your fault and that he’s not mad. does sulk a bit for a while before he gets over it and buys together with you another one; makes sure to stick it with glue.

𝐍𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐌𝐔𝐑𝐀 𝐑𝐈𝐊𝐈 three four words: flustered shy bean stalk, can’t act normal with you latched onto him, acting all cute, his ears and cheeks are hot all the time, just when he thinks he’s finally used to it you prove him wrong. shutters while continously asking what’s wrong and why are you behaving like this. it’s not that he’s suspicious he’s just bashful and timid, honestly just thinks that you want to or feel like being babied by him so tries to treat you that way, all soft and caring, putting behind his pranks for once. doesn’t notice how you watch with horror when he takes out his bungeoppang shaper to find it has a crack in the joint which opens/closes the lid. his first instinct is to look at you even though he doesn’t know it’s actually you who dropped the cookware while washing it. whines when you tell him it’s you, silent treatment for some time before he’s unable to ignore you anymore and understands that you were just trying to clean it for him when it happened and that it was an accident, gives you a sorry hug and squish.  

TAGLIST ( open. ) @kangseulgithegreat @s00buwu @luvyev @pockyyasii @nctislifue

[squirmhoney]

ALL ALONE AT CHRISTMAS

Requested by @queenofthekeep ♡ Pairing: Aegon Targaryen x Reader Warning: Smut. incest. Angst. Arguing. 18+ MDNI A/N:we’ve had a very late start to Christmas today. So even though I know a lot of you won’t see this, I thought I’d grace your Christmas Day with this soft smut❤️ Merry Christmas guys 🎄

“One job,” you shouted, throwing the tickets onto the counter. “It was the one thing I let you do and you fucked it.” 

All you wanted was to tear your hair out in frustration, not knowing who you should be angry with, Aegon for booking the wrong tickets or yourself for thinking that he could be given that much responsibility. 

Aegon’s lips opened, unable to get a syllable out before you were screaming at him again. 

“Don’t,” you told him, putting your hand out. “I’m stuck here for Christmas because you booked the wrong flight.” 

“We,” Aegon stated, standing up from his seat. He made his way over to you, hands coming up to cup your cheeks. “I’m here as well.” 

You pushed his hands away, “Don’t. Just don’t.” 

Aegon’s face dropped at this, a frown covering his face as he retreated away from you. He was at an end with you, back to square one like he had been months ago. All the phone calls, messages and constant reassurance on his end felt like it was for nothing. Had he really spent months patching things up between him and you, just for him to fuck it up over booking the wrong flights. 

Yes, he had booked the wrong flights on purpose. But this isn’t how he planned things turning out, you weren’t supposed to get this upset. Well,  at least not in his head. 

*

Things couldn’t get any worse, until they did. 

Christmas should be spent with your family, not just with your older brother. Especially not one like Aegon. To add to your Christmas nightmare, the power had cut out in Aegon’s apartment, leaving you both curled up on the couch wrapped under an array of blankets trying desperately to keep warm. 

“You can get a bit closer,” Aegon said from the other end of the couch. 

You were shivering, trying to hide your chattering teeth by biting down on your t-shirt. Even with how cold you felt, goosebumps covering your skin, you didn’t want to let him know that. 

“Seriously, you’re freezing over there.” 

In the candle light Aegon saw your eyes look up at him, narrowing your eyes at him with a coldness he had only seen once before. 

He sighed, shaking his head. “Is it always going to be like this?” 

“Like what?” 

“This distance between us, not just physically but in every way shape and form,” he snapped out, throwing his head back. 

“It’s good,” you paused for a second, drawing your legs further in. “To have space.” 

You could feel him rolling his eyes even if you couldn’t see it. 

“Space is good.” You squeezed your knees to your chest. “It’s healthy.” 

“Here we go again.” 

“I don’t know what you expect me to say.” 

“I thought we were over it. I’ve apologised, I’ve kept my distance, I’ve phoned and texted at the right times. What else can I do?” 

“You kissed me,” you shouted at him, a croak in the back of your throat. Realising the sound of your own voice, you looked around the darkness as if someone could hear you. “And you can’t do that.” 

“If I remember correctly, you kissed me back.” 

“You’re delusional.” 

He huffed and when he spoke again you could hear the tears lodged in his airways, begging to spill. “Fuck you.” It was shaky, full of pain that you both shared. 

“I’m your sister, Aegon. Can’t you see how fucked up it is?” 

“You don’t think I know.” He stood up, taking a step away from you. “I hate myself for feeling this way but I can’t help it.” 

“It’s sick,” as soon as the words slipped from your mouth, you regretted them. But maybe it’s what he needed to hear, what you both needed to hear. 

“You act so fucking high and mighty,” he stormed around the room, in the darkness where he wasn’t visible to you. “Like you weren’t a part of this. Like you don’t feel the way I feel.” 

“I don’t-” 

“Keep telling yourself that.” 

-

Christmas wasn’t meant to be spent in silence but for the most part it had been. 

Both you and Aegon had put on glowing smiles for your family when you called, making up lies about how you both were enjoying yourselves. In reality you had been looking at the earliest flight you could catch to get yourself out of there but there weren’t any for a few more days. 

Eventually your phone died and the sun went down, meaning all you could do was stare up into the darkness as you curled up on the couch. You were still cold, the layers of blankets not doing much to help. You were glad for the friendly neighbour that dropped off an array of candles, the apartment being less depressing than it had been. 

In the silence of it all you could only think about Aegon as you were sure he was thinking about you. He had been hauled up in his room, giving you the silent treatment. The only time you had really seen him he was puffy eyed and pale in the face, barely able to look at you. 

You hated him for it. The way your stomach dropped at the sight of him, so distraught and how your eyes could barely look up from your knees to meet his face. With every second that passed you felt your chest tightening more, the silent tears unable to alleviate the weight that was holding you down. 

You weren’t sure of the time when you next saw Aegon. Maybe minutes had passed since the sun had set, maybe even hours. But for some reason you felt stuck in the passage of time, as if you didn’t do something, you’d never leave that apartment. Maybe that was just an excuse. 

Nothing really mattered to you when Aegon opened his bedroom door, finding you standing on the other side. You stood there contemplating for a while on what to do or what you were going to say. All you managed to think of was…

“I was cold,” your voice was quiet, barely audible. You looked up at him, that tight feeling in your chest snapped and you had to bite down on your bottom lip to keep your tears at bay. 

He was so close you could feel the heavy breaths he was taking, his chest almost touching yours. You couldn’t help but place your hand against his bare skin, wanting to ease the pain and sadness you were both feeling. 

When his hands cupped your cheeks, you accepted it. The pads of his thumb wiping at your wet skin, saying the things that you knew he was clearly too scared to say. But his lips said much more when they reached down to yours, hovering a centimetre away from you. 

It was a brush of lips when you closed the distance, delicate and fearful of one another’s rejection. You sobbed into his lips after a second, hands wrapping around his neck as you latched yourself onto him.

That feeling in your chest finally eased when he pulled you into his room, wrapping an arm around your waist. Your bodies moved on instinct, sinking into each other as you clumsily travelled over to his bed. When your foot stumbled on something, Aegon was quick to stop you from falling, snatching you up and throwing you onto his bed. 

You didn’t even know if it was you or him stripping you of your clothes, all you knew was that you were both desperate, tearing them from your body. Before you knew it you were chest to chest, bare against each other and completely vulnerable. His hands roamed your sides, not taking any time as he grabbed at the flesh, almost violently as if he was trying to bruise your skin, leaving his mark for everyone to see. 

“Aegon,” it slipped out in a moan when he grinded his hips into yours, his arousal clear to feel through his boxers. Your legs opened wider, wrapping around his waist to rub yourself up at him. “Please.” 

There was a wetness that had pooled between your thighs, one that Aegon could probably feel through his boxers. You were sure of it when he pressed himself flush against you, his stiff cock nudging at you as much as it could. 

You were breathless when his lips finally retreated from yours, only to latch onto your neck, sucking at the skin of your throat. You weren’t sure how you’d explain the marks he was surely leaving, purple and pink, but that was the last thing you wanted to think of when his tongue lazily trailed over your skin. 

You didn’t realise how much he moved till you felt his hand press against you, dragging his fingers around your soaked cunt. You gasped out, throwing your head back at the sensation as his fingers began to play with you. The swirling in your stomach was unfamiliar to you but it only grew with each drag of his fingers against you. He was barely doing anything but you were a mess, hands clawing at the sheets beneath you. 

When he finally slipped a finger in, you shuddered, only for him to push a second finger in with complete ease. Your pussy sucked him in with each thrust and the moan that fell from your lips made him smile against your skin. 

Was this what you had been depriving yourself of? Months of battling with unfamiliar feelings, only for you to cave just like this. Had it all been for nothing. 

“Aegon, it’s-” you were babbling, unable to finish your words as you let out a harsh breath. 

Your walls squeezed him when you came, back arching off the bed as you felt yourself squirting onto his abdomen. All your thighs wanted to do was close, wriggling around as you tried to escape his touch out of pure embarrassment. But he wasn’t letting you go, grip tightening around you as he yanked you further down onto the bed. 

In the candle lit room, you could barely see what he was doing but you didn’t need to see it. Not when you felt the tip of him press against your folds, hard and wet as he pushed it around, lubing himself up. 

“Aegon,” you pleaded, tears lodged in your throat as you lifted your leg around him. “Please, I need you.” 

He kissed you again, inhaling your very being with just one kiss. 

“I love you,” it came out in a broken cry that vibrated through your whole chest. 

“Say it again,” he demanded, sliding his cock against you. 

Even though you were still terrified of his rejection, worried that after all this he could still push you away, you said it again, “I love you.” 

The next kiss was hungrier than the last, teeth clashing against each other as he pressed himself fully against you and finally pushed himself into you. You both moaned into each other at this, your hands clawing at his back to get closer to him, if that was even possible. 

When he finally lifted his head, giving you space to breathe, he finally said, “I love you. I’ve always loved you.” 

With that you let out a sharp breath you didn’t realise you had been holding. 

It felt like sweet torture the way Aegon thrusted into you, each brush of his cock inside your walls was like a new kind of ecstasy that you couldn’t understand. He was savouring the moment, that much you could tell, enjoying the way your thighs shook with each harsh snap of his hips and your walls clenched around him begging for more. 

The way he fucked you was as if he was still trying to stretch you out, get you ready for what was really about to take place. Even though you weren’t sure if you were ready for it, you were gasping for it, on the verge of crying if he didn’t give you what you so desperately craved right then.

“You need something, baby?” Aegon taunted from above you, lifting one of your thighs to sit between your bodies. 

You gave him a small nod, all you felt like you could manage. 

“I need you to tell me,” Aegon lifted the other legs now, the angle allowing him to reach deeper inside of you. “Speak for me.” 

“I can’t,” you gulped, shaking your head at him. 

“How am I supposed to know what you want?” 

“Please,” tears slid down your cheeks as he delivered a violent thrust. “I-I just n-need more.” 

Aegon slowly pulled out from you, making you whine when his tip sat at your entrance. But before you knew it was sinking back into your walls, snapping his hips into yours with a vicious rage that he clearly had been holding back on. 

Your thighs were shaking at this, unable to keep down each moan that fell from your lips until he pressed his lips against yours. Only for a moment though, letting out a groan of his own as he curved himself into you. 

“You like this,” Aegon stated, grinning against your cheek. “No. No.” 

You were so delirious, you could barely focus on his words. 

“You love this.” 

You clenched around him at this, your cunt clearly agreeing with him. 

“As much as I do.” 

Your eyes widened, feeling that familiar pressure in your stomach ready to snap. With the way your walls were squeezing him, you were sure that Aegon could tell, holding your face in place so he could watch this time. 

“Please,” he pleaded with you, eyes latched onto yours. 

You came for him, walls pulsating around him as the ecstasy spread across your skin. His lips only became more frantic after that, keeping you hooked on that feeling as he chased his own orgasm. One more clench from your cunt, had him spilling into you finally. He sighed as he rocked his hips against yours, making sure to feel you up completely with every last drip of his cum. 

He slipped out of you with a sharp hiss, collapsing on top of you right after. Your breathing was still harsh as you fell slack against the bed, mind starting to become clear. You didn’t want that, not wanting to think of the consequences of what you both had truly done. Not right then at least. 

But Aegon was already softening against you. 

“I don’t want to stop,” you whispered.

“Hmm- What was that?” Aegon asked, shifting to hover above you. 

You were getting choked up again as reality began to hit you, “I-” 

“It’s okay,” Aegon was quick to reassure you, rolling you both over so you were resting on his chest. “You just gotta trust me.” 

You buried your head into his neck, letting him soothe you as his hand rubbed your back. 

“Do you trust me?” 

“I trust you.”

[moonstruckme]

Omg omg omg I love you writing so so so much!

I was wondering if you could do poly!marauders (or can be just Sirius x reader) where Sirius goes to a tattoo shop and gets a new tattoo and the reader just gets a piercing.

Just rlly cute fluff with Siri holding her hand and babying her for the rest of the day, even tho his procedure (that’s a scary word) is more painful than hers

Thank you love

XoXo

Thank you sweetheart!!

cw: mention of needle

Sirius Black x fem!reader ♡ 607 words

Sirius’ fingers are curled around the inside of your thigh while he drives with the other hand. He hasn’t let go of you for probably a couple of hours now, since you’d first gone into the tattoo shop. At first he’d let you pretend it was for him, holding your hand while the artist inked up the side of his ribs, but it became clear pretty soon after that his touch was your security blanket. You haven’t relinquished it since. 

“Feeling good, sunshine?” he asks, pulling up in front of your place. 

He’s being a little extra gentle with you, which doesn’t seem strictly fair. He’d sat through his whole session with little coddling, didn’t even complain about your bruising hold on his hand when it was your turn. Your eyes had watered something fierce as the needle went through your septum, and Sirius’ eyebrows had pulled together distressfully. He’d brought your hand to his lips, murmuring a You got it onto your knuckles. Meanwhile, his side had to be throbbing the entire time. 

“Mhm,” you reply, brightly as you can. 

“Yeah?” He turns toward you, smiling prettily. “You look good. It suits you, gorgeous.” 

He reaches for your face, and you flinch instinctively away, backing yourself up against the passenger door. Sirius’ eyebrows rise. 

“Sorry,” you laugh at yourself. “Sorry, I just got scared you were gonna touch it.” 

He cocks his head to the side, giving you a deadpan look. “I wasn’t,” he says. “Fuck, babe, give me a little credit. I’ve had piercings before. I just want a kiss.” 

He leans forward again, and again, you dodge. 

“Actually,” you squeak, “I’d feel a lot better if nothing got near my nose. For like, the next several days.” 

He blinks. “You serious?”

“No, that’s you,” you remind him. 

“Funny.” He narrows his eyes at you. “You’re really not going to let me kiss you for the next several days?” 

You shrink a bit under his gaze, the unflinching intensity of it overwhelming. He’s doing it on purpose, you know. But you won’t fold. You know how to get him back. 

You let the pressure that’s stayed stuck in the back of your throat grow, your eyes watering. “I don’t want it to hurt worse,” you say pitifully. 

Predictably, Sirius melts like ice cream on a summer day. “Aw, it still hurts, baby?” He reaches for your face, then, checking himself, detours to your shoulder. His thumb rubs at your clavicle. “Maybe we need to do a saline wash already, it could take out some of the sting.” 

You worry at your lip. You can see Sirius itching to pull it from between your teeth, but he restrains himself, settling for giving you a stern look until you stop. 

“I don’t know if I’m ready for that,” you admit. 

“I can do it for you,” he offers easily. “Oi, don’t look at me like that. I’m not a fucking newbie. I know what I’m doing.” 

“After,” you say tentatively, “can we put on a movie and lay for a while?” 

He grins, slipping his fingers from between your thighs to take your hand in his. He smooches your palm. “I’ve got nothing else going on today, sunshine. And I got us that ice cream for a reason.” 

You perk up, joy sparking to life in your chest. “We have ice cream?” 

“Oh, so that can come close to your face but I can’t?” 

“I’ll be very careful with my spoon,” you tell him gravely. 

“Whatever.” He rolls his eyes, pulling your arm closer to smudge a kiss onto the inside of your wrist. “I can improvise.”

[mandowifey]

Bury

Miguel O'hara x Fem!Reader

Miguel Masterlist

Warnings: Reader is 18+,NSFW, oviposition, creampie, breeding mentions, non-con mentions, dark!Miguel, my version of Miguel, dub con, violence, aggressive heroing, Miguel being a massive ass, pet play, reader is held against her will. Oviposition - the process of having eggs laid inside of you.

Another one I needed to do before my brain exploded. Not proof read, enjoy!

× × ×

One face in a sea of millions, and he picked you. Miguel liked to say,'I saved you,' but you knew better. You were taken. Whisked away from your home and locked somewhere unfamiliar and daunting. Most people swooned at the notion of being rescued by Spider-Man, but they didn't know the truth like you.

Spider-Man wasn't a hero.

He was a monster, and you were his prey.

Miguel liked to watch you. When he was in thought or pondering his next move, he would often linger in your presence and quietly observe. You hated it, feeling like a zoo animal under scrutiny. Sometimes, he'd cross the room and sit down on the bed near you with his face towards the wall. Other times, he would lay his head on your lap and rest his eyes to the sound of your pattering heart. If you felt brave, you'd tassel your fingers through his brown curls. Being soft with him helped to temper his mood.

That afternoon, he came to you as usual and climbed onto the bed. You folded the book you were reading and sat up, adjusting the silk blue nightgown he'd given you. The look on Miguel's face is different. There is uncertainty in his eyes, and his body language feels off. You watch him for a moment before tentatively touching your hand to his back. "Miguel?"

"I'm going to need you to do something for me today."

The weight of his tone makes you jump. A man who had done nothing but take from you was asking you to help him. You felt uneasy, watching him as his expression twisted into disgust, and he looked away. Ultimately confused, your eyes track him in silence as you wait out whatever internal struggle he was dealing with.

"You aren't going to like it."

Now you laughed.

His head swiveled, and his eyes went from that warm, chocolate brown to hellish red. Bristling, his clawed hand grabbed your cheeks and squeezed until your lips stuck out. "You think it's funny?" He spits, his lip curling in a snarl. "You have no idea, not a one, of what I'm going to do to you today." With a shove, he sends you sprawling onto your back and knocks the wind out of you. You are left flailing, arms and hands catching yourself before you could topple off the bed.

"I'm sorry," you squeak, heart hammering. "I'm sorry, I just -" The way he looked at you made you panic. "You have never asked me before." It was honesty. He had taken you from your home, stolen your virginity, and hadn't stopped using you since. Spider-man's dirty little secret, locked away in his tower forever. You press your knees together and turn your eyes downward, your shoulders slanted. "I'm sorry." You reiterated, as it was the only thing you could think to say now.

Miguel watches you tense like a snake in the grass. "You're right," His voice growled. "So what's the use in asking now. Come here." A fist closes around your ankle, and you're torn closer to him in an effortless display of his strength. The gown you wore rode high, exposing your underwear and soft stomach. His eyes flick over you, taking in what he'd claimed as his long ago. Tonguing one of his growing fangs, Miguel leans down to cage your body with his own. Balanced on his knees between your legs, he brings his mouth to your ear.

"You are special, Y/N. You think I picked you randomly, that I just happened to like you for your looks?" He smiled into his words now. "It's much more than that. You see," One of his hands touches your knee and causes you to jump, a whimper tightening in your throat. "What happened to me didn't just give me fangs, or venom, or red eyes and this charming disposition I know you love so much," A breath wafts against your neck, and you shiver. "My body, every couple of months, goes into a sort of rut." Miguel adjusted himself between your legs, leaning his weight into you to let you feel the growing bulge he sported.

Sucking in a soft breath, you close your eyes as he kisses the nape of your neck. Of everything he did to you, you hated the fact he was able to make you melt. Miguel knew everything you liked and enjoyed using it against you. Grazing your flesh with his fangs, Miguel continued. "It doesn't just make me violent, hungry, and territorial, but in fact, it also makes me produce eggs." Hearing that made your eyes open and head turn to look up at him. With your faces so close, Miguel ghosted his lips over your own. "That's right," He continued. "Every time it's happened and I've tried to pass them manually, it doesn't work. The pain is fucking excruciating, Y/N." Sighing, he nips your mouth. "I came to the conclusion that for this to work, I had to find the right incubator."

That wasn't a compliment. It struck fear in your chest, and another wave of nausea rolled through you, making you hot. "Oh god," you gasp, your voice twisting in distress. Miguel was unflinching, his eyes - now back to brown, staring down at your distraught expression. "It's going to hurt, I'm guessing, but since you're such a good girl, I know you'll take them just fine for me." A sickening smile crossed his features as he kissed you, bruising your lips before drawing upwards.

"W-wait, wait, wait- Wait, Miguel, f-fuck, Miguel wait -" You babbled, helpless as the super human moved your body around to his liking. "P-please, please let's talk about this!" Tears stung your eyes and clouded your vision as he drew you close and pushed your legs apart. The only thing hiding you from him now were your panties. "Nothing to talk about, kid." He sighed finally. "Maybe you'll even like it, who knows." Miguel was unbothered by your tears as he let his suit crawl back until he was bare.

This couldn't be real, and most certainly couldn't be happening to you.

Heaving a sob, you put your face in your hands as he rips your underwear off and exposes your soft folds. "Besides, you used to beg me to stop before and now look at you, I practically make you cum every time we fuck." Chuckling, Miguel wrapped a fist around his cock and dragged the weeping tip through your slit, collecting moisture. He tuts at you. "You're kidding me! You're wet, too? Sheesh, I'm starting to think you really do like me, princess." You were humiliated and frustrated at your body for defying you. In no way did you want to be used by some maniac to harbor his clutch, and certainly didn't want to cum for him.

Miguel rumbled above you, brooding and large as he notched at your entrance. "Try not to tense up this time." He smiles when you peek at him from between your fingers, then shoves forward. His cock stretches you brutally and bottoms out as he hilts. Your hands fly from your face to grab the blankets while a scream bellows deep from your diaphragm. "Shh, shh shh, you're doing great." Cooed the hero, his body leaning forward so he could balance on his forearms above you.

He begins to thrust, drawing back until only the head is left submerged before slowly shoving back to your end. The drag of his cock is maddening, stroking the deepest reaches of your cunt and making you mewl like a cat in heat. Miguel drops his head to yours, stealing a kiss to swallow your cries and lapping into your mouth. You felt smothered as he rocks his hips, driving deep into you with each brutal thrust he gave. "Ghh-god, f-feel so fucking good." He hisses against your lips, his breath fanning your face as he bucked. Your body bounced helplessly under him as you tried so hard to fight that rising heat in your abdomen.

"That's it." Miguel purrs against your gaping mouth, dipping his tongue over your teeth and breathing in your scent. Your cunt squishes around him, embarrassing you further as it made his girth pound easier within you. "M-mi-guel-" You choke, your words broken by each impact. Finally winding your hands into his hair and scratching down his back, you cave. As hard as you fought, he fucked you well, and you couldn't deny it.

Spurred by your affection, Miguel thrusts harder. His cock pounding into you rough enough to bruise, pulling cry after cry from you. Your nails scour his back, making him snarl as his head drops to your shoulder. The both of you are panting in tandem, your mouths brushing as you breathe eachothers air. He was losing it, his thrusts becoming uneven and frantic as he draws closer to his end.

"H-hah, t-too m-much-!" Your voice breaks, nearly sobbing as he rocks just right, the tip of his cock forcing against your gspot and bringing you closer to your own release. The sounds you make encourage him, and he suddenly sits up to grab your ankles and fold you at the hips. With this knee-to-chest position, you gasp. Miguel looks down at you, his eyes cloudy with emotion and need. Some of his hair came loose and dangled in strands in front of his face.

"C'mon princess, cum for me."

And that was all it took.

The mans cock brushes something explosive and sets you off. Your world becomes white hot, body tensing and arching as you clamp down around him in waves. Later, you will hate yourself, but now you ride out your release while you cry out and rock your hips to his. Miguel, now satisfied that you finished, braces himself on his hands by either side of your head. His face changes to a look of near pitiful desperation, the sounds escaping him paint a different picture of the man who held you against your will.

As you come down from your high, you watch as he unravels. Eyes closed lightly, and head lowered, Miguel bucks into you. He sought your warmth and the comforting squeeze your little cunt gave him. Harder, until he bumps your cervix again, and you keen softly, then he crumbles. You feel him throb, followed by a hot spray of thick, heavy fluid. It doesn't hurt, even when he begins to frantically rabbit his hips into you.

He's muttering in Spanish, like he's talking to himself. The thrusting slows, and you feel strangely full and warm. Miguel eases down until his larger frame is resting against yours, caging you under him while leaving his cock nestled inside your walls. His lips press to your neck and jaw, peppering you in what felt like gratitude. You were apprehensive and uncertain if this were really all there was. It gnaws at you, but you bring your arms to wrap around his neck.

"Does it hurt?"

Your eyes open and catch Miguel's worried stare. "No. Should it?" The man frowns and moves one of his hands to pet and paw over your abdomen. He looks unsure, and you realize this was equally new to him. After a moment, he reluctantly pulls out of you and moves to curl around your body. You were dwarfed by him as he wrapped you in his arms and drew you into his broad chest.

Affectionate was not a term you would ever associate with Miguel. He presses kisses into your hair and inhales your pleasant scent, his hand drifting down to cup your abdomen once more. As you settle into him, you look down and notice the slight bloat under his hand, like you'd pulled a muscle and were pushing it out. Fear prickles up your spine as he pets you there, your mind racing with dozens of thoughts.

Are there really eggs inside of me?

What happens when they hatch?

Miguel can feel you starting to tense, and he kisses your temple. "You'll be just fine." He churrs into your ear, making the color drain from your face. "Motherhood will suit you." He nipped your neck before laying his face into your shoulder. Miguel was giddy at the notion of any of those eggs taking. Imagine you swollen with his child, giving him a new life to love and raise, an opportunity to be a father again. It was all he wanted.

He falls asleep curled with you, his hand planted against your growing abdomen. You mourn the loss of your bodies autonomy, silently laying there in his arms while dozens of tapioca sized eggs clung to your hot womb and begin to grow. You were certain you could feel the process as it underwent. The sensation made your throat dry and eyes wet, knowing that Miguel, your captor, left a part of himself inside of you. He claimed you in every way, violating you so deeply that you knew there was no coming back.

As the day descends into night, you listen to him sleeping soundly and wonder if he was right.

If motherhood would suit you.

[undiscovered-horizon]

Who am I to complain? - Nikolai Lantsov x Reader

[emotional and verbal abuse, unhealthy parent-child relationships]

SUMMARY: When your parents come to visit, Nikolai finally understands why you've never been keen to talk about them. Being the King and your husband, he isn't afraid to defy them.

WORDCOUNT: ~ 4.5k

>>Grishaverse-inspired playlist<<

"Have you listened to anything I've just said?"

Nikolai shakes you awake from being lost in thought. You look away from the insanely interesting skirting board you had been staring at for the past ten minutes. He’s watching you with raised eyebrows, awaiting an answer.

"I…” you hang your voice. At first, you wanted to just apologize and ask him to repeat himself but then a sense of dread sprouts in your abdomen - one you can’t quite put a finger on but it takes over your entire mind. “I'm sorry, Kolya. Please, don’t be mad at me, I’m sorry,” you plead, gradually speaking faster.

“I’m not angry,” he states firmly. “But I am growing concerned for you, love. What’s going on?”

“I just keep thinking about my parents' visit,” you confess while rubbing your forehead. “Ever since the letter arrived, I can hardly think about anything else."

"Yes, I've noticed you have been a bit absent for the past few days. I assumed you were going to talk to me when you're ready. Are you?"

"They're not bad people," you begin in a strange tone that makes Nikolai doubt your words right away, "and they've only done their best to give me a good life. Despite that, they have a tendency to bring out the parts of me I've grown to dislike." 

“Isn’t that what every family does?” he jokes in hopes of easing your visible discomfort. But his good humour is gone the moment you look away with a sombre expression stuck to your features.

Nikolai always considered himself exceptional at self-control but something about your sadness makes him gradually abandon reason. As you forlornly stare into the darkness of your shared bedroom, he’s ready to stick feathers to his clothes and pretend to be a peacock just to make you laugh.

“Love,” he calls out softly. His hand rests between your shoulder blades. “You’re the queen. If you want, we can call their visit off right away.”

“That would be a little rude, no?” you ask in a meek voice.

“It’s a lot more crude to make you cry.”

“I will be alright, really,” you reassure him. That miserable look on your face is slowly creeping away. “It’s just three days. Maybe they’ve changed or they’re a lot better than I remember. I’ll be okay.”

Nikolai is unsure whether you’re trying to convince yourself or him but he doesn’t push. Despite not believing your clumsy words of reassurance, he trusts you - he’ll step in only when things really get out of hand.

Nervousness and excitement often feel the same and one might even fool themselves into believing that the mortifying tension in their muscles is actually an impatient thrill. Today, however, you don’t even try playing a little trick on yourself. The more you think about your feelings, the more you’re convinced that it’s not even nervousness but fear. Still, you don’t quite understand why exactly your parents’ visit elicits such awful emotions from you.

The door to the throne room opens and a man in a white and gold livery steps inside. He quickly walks halfway to the dais with the throne. 

The servant bows as deep as he can and clears his throat before loudly announcing: “Presenting her most royal Highness’s, the Queen’s, mother and father.”

Only then do your parents emerge from the hall, walking hesitantly through the spacious throne room. Two guards are following them and your father spares them a confused glance every few steps. But the armed men only usher him to keep walking and not turn his back to the king until allowed to do so.

Feeling fear exploding in your chest, you grip Nikolai’s shoulder even tighter. Sitting on the throne, he has to look up to meet your eyes.

“Calm down, it’s going to be alright,” he says quietly. A reassuring smile curves his lips. “You said it yourself.”

As though he is a Heartrender himself, his words make you relax. You take a deep breath and let go of his shoulder. At that moment, Nikolai stands up to greet your parents as their son-in-law first and only then the king of Ravka.

Right then, your mother quickly runs up the few steps leading to the dais. Her face is red and a deep crease now separates her eyebrows.

“I have to wait to be announced to see my own daughter?” She’s barely containing her outrage. “Nonsense!”

“I’m royalty now, mother,” you explain calmly. Your voice almost doesn’t shake.

“And I’m still your mother, the one that gave birth to you. Do I not get any benefits from that?”

Maybe some people don’t actually change.

“I’m afraid you don’t.”

“Is this gold?!” your father exclaims in shock as his hand reaches for your heavy necklace. “So because of you most of Ravka is starving?”

Too occupied with the jewellery, your parents don’t notice the palace guards stepping forward to arrest them for such an accusation aimed at the queen. Nikolai spares them a meaningful look, waving them off. In his heart, he agrees with them.

“Actually, this is a gift from a businessman in Kerch,” you say quietly. Suddenly, you remember why you’ve never visited them since your wedding.

“Still, don’t you think this is a little distasteful?”

Your mother places her hand on your father’s shoulder. “She’s always been vain, darling,” she reminds him.

You’re not a queen anymore - at least you don’t feel like it. All of the gold, silk and jewels are gone and you’re back to being a scared, little girl with hay stuck in her hair. Tears sting your eyes.

Whatever you do is wrong. All of your efforts are underwhelming. Maybe they’d be happier if you weren’t there.

"You're crying?” your father asks with a hint of disgust in his voice. “Oh, don't be so sensitive, you know we’re only joking!” He’s still holding your necklace in his fingers, admiring the glistening crystals. Standing so close to you, he lowers his voice significantly to appear inconspicuous but Nikolai manages to pick up his calloused words. “Pull yourself together, this is embarrassing.”

As she usually does, your mother brings the attention back to herself. “She can be a bit much at times, so I hope you’re a patient one!”

The guards exchange questioning looks, silently asking one another if they should intervene this time. Most of the time they follow Tolya and Tamar’s steps but they’re left to their own devices on this day as Nikolai ordered the twins to take a day off. Perhaps it’s for the best - they’d surely escalate this already uncomfortable situation but it’s only because they care.

“I’d say it’s quite the opposite,” Nikolai answers, unaffected. Despite his speaking to your mother, he’s looking into your eyes. “I can never get enough of her.”

“For most of her life, I thought she’d never get married!” your mother continues. She’s gripping your arm with much more strength than her appearance suggests. “Men don’t like them independent, stubborn and opinionated.”

Nikolai’s polite smile doesn’t falter. “Three qualities of an excellent Queen.”

Your mother laughs obnoxiously. “Just wait a few years, dear.” She pats his shoulder. The guards look between themselves again. “You’ll be quick to send her off just like we were!”

Both of your parents laugh wholeheartedly while you and Nikolai exchange knowing looks. Now he understands why you have been so uneasy lately. This is going to be the longest three days of his life.

The perplexity continues as your mother suddenly places her hands around your waist, examining your torso in great detail. A sour expression forms on her face.

“Oh, honey, you’ve let yourself go,” she says in a worried tone. Her eyes trail the curve of your physique up until she looks at your face. With a serious glint in her eye, she advises you under her breath: “You can’t get fat and slobby if you want to keep the king.” 

The man who announced your parents appears again but this time he walks all the way to the stairs leading up to the throne, although doesn’t dare climb them. His facial expression borders on emotionless and serious as though he’s more of a marble statue rather than a servant.

“Your most royal Highness.” The man bows deeply. “The room is prepared.”

“Excellent.” Nikolai uses the opportunity to cut the awkward conversation short in a diplomatic way. “Escort our guests to their chamber.” 

“Right away, мой царь.”

When the butler disappears around the corner with your parents apprehensively following him, Nikolai looks at you with a grim expression. 

“Are they usually like this?” he asks, disapproval hiding between his words.

“They’re worse at home,” you answer with a shrug. A lot of terrible feelings and thoughts you were convinced you had left behind are coming back and you’re unsure how to handle that.

“You’ve put up with this kind of disrespect for your whole life?”

“It’s not disrespect, just…” you hang your voice looking for the right expression, “tough love. They don’t mean any harm.”

“Don’t mean any harm?” he repeats in disbelief. “They’ve been here for fifteen minutes and they are yet to say something nice to you. Neither of them even asked whether you’re doing alright.”

A short, troubled sigh leaves your lips. Your fingers trail the golden embroidery decorating his kaftan. “I’m married to a dashing, handsome king and live in a palace. I think they know I’m doing well.”

His hand gently grabs yours, keeping it against his chest. “As much I like flattery, especially coming from you, you can’t pull wool over my eyes, love. It’s not a matter of knowing but principle. Remember our wedding? The guests kept asking how you’re doing so much, you kept saying you’re perfectly fine before they even got a chance to ask.”

The memory elicits a chuckle from you. Yes, everyone seemed to be preoccupied with making sure you were happy and satisfied. It came to such a point, you yelled at Nikolai’s cousin ‘Yes, I’m fine!’ before she gave you a weird look and asked if you wanted some vodka mixed with your champagne. Truly, the only royal thing about Marina is her ungodly fortune but maybe that’s why you’ve grown to like her a lot - she’s down to earth and easy-going.

Nikolai squeezes your hand in a gentle, reassuring manner. “Just say the word and I will personally throw them out.”

“Kolya!” You gasp at his offer but it quickly turns into laughter. “They’re my parents and your in-laws!”

“They also refuse to show care and respect towards my beloved Queen.”

That mellow, loving look in his eyes nullifies any annoyance you might feel at his stubbornness. You pull your hand out of his grasp and place it on the side of his face. Consciously or not, he slightly leans into your touch. “I appreciate your concern.” Not minding the guards in the room, you’ve grown used to their constant presence, you peck his lips shortly. “But they have just arrived. You’ll warm up to them.”

Nikolai doesn’t answer at first. He only reconnects your lips, kissing you deeper, more desperately. When you feel his hands coming up to your waist, you lean away from him. For a moment, you swear you can see a grimace of dissatisfaction on his face.

“Be decent,” you reprimand him but the wide smile you wear so well rids your words of all seriousness.

“You started this.”

“And I will finish if you play nice.”

Nikolai takes a rather long step back, away from you,  just to make a point. He’s standing with his hands behind his back, an excited grin on his face. “You make an exquisite diplomat, you know that?”

“I learned from the best.”

The time for dinner came faster than you wanted it to. Anxiety bubbled inside your chest again. Still, you continued trying to soap up your eyes with thoughts that maybe when they sit across the table from a king, they’re going to withdraw their little jabs at you. As they say: Hope is the mother of all fools. And you’re about to learn that.

Nikolai raises his cup with wine. “A toast to our beloved Queen,” he announces in an official tone. Out of the corner of his eye, he spares you an adoring look. “Without her, I’d be a lonely, perplexed king. May we not know the world without her.”

To your horror, your father decides to join him. “May she get a grip and come to her senses.”

The dry wine tastes even more bitter as you take what’s supposed to be a celebratory sip. What if he’s right about you? It’s only the beginning of the evening and you already wish you can miraculously vanish or, worst case scenario, just run away. 

You’re about to take a bite of the roasted pheasant on your plate when your mother looks at you with raised eyebrows. She points her fork between you and the plate. “Should you really be eating all of this?” 

You don’t answer her. Whatever you say will only egg her on. Get a grip, you scold yourself and clench your fist to push fingernails into the sensitive skin of your palm. The pain is distracting, grounding.

 "You know, sweetheart, you're not getting any younger,” your mother continues. She always does that - throwing poignancies one after another and seeing what sticks. Now, when she’s literally the mother of the queen, she’s even bolder than before.

“Mother-”

“Don’t interrupt me.” She points her knife at you. “All I’m saying is as a wife, especially the queen, you have only one duty and you shouldn’t wait with it. Things will only get more difficult as you age.”

Nikolai gives your mother a bright smile. “Have no worries,” he cuts in. “We’re not waiting.”

You almost drop your fork. Flustering people is definitely one of his strategies but must he really involve your sex life in his word games? Although mortified at his bluntness, you must admit it works - your mother’s face is about the same shade as the roasted tomatoes on her plate. She casts her eyes downwards, poking at the food in front of her.

The air is filled with awkward tension but Nikolai doesn’t seem to mind in. In fact, he looks quite proud of himself. You, on the other hand, aren’t as good at putting up a believable front.

“So,” you begin in hopes of easing the atmosphere”, how are things back in…” You hang your voice. You were about to say ‘home’, only to realize that it would be an honest lie. The little town where you grew up hasn’t been home in years. “...Tamboyevka?”

“Oh, you know,” your mother says as she makes a dismissive wave with her hand. “Same old, same old. Cattle and field, nothing interesting to someone of your sort, I presume! There’s never been much use of you anyway.”

Listening to your mother’s condescending words, you push your fingernails further into the skin of your hand to distract yourself from the feeling of shame that continues to grow inside your stomach and pull you down with it. Maybe the marble floor will swallow you whole in the next few minutes and all of this will be over.

Then you feel Nikolai’s warm hand sneak between your palms, breaking up your painful distraction. He leans towards you ever so slightly and whispers:

“I’d much rather you pinch and scratch my hand than hurt yourself.”

You look at his concerned face. Words of reassurance, ‘Don’t worry, I’m alright’, nearly push past your lips when your father chimes in, continuing the conversation.

“But your brother, he bought some land down south,” he announces with excitement.

“More land?” you ask. “Ha barely manages with what he already has.”

The memory of your brother’s tired, grey face flashes before your eyes. Every time you see him, he looks even sicker than before as though he never sleeps or eats, only works in the field. He even collapsed on one July day and your parents kept saying that this is a sign of an honest, hard-working man but you weren’t as quick to call a man throwing up everything he eats ‘healthy’.

“You know how he is, always helping others.” Your mother is beaming with pride as if she’s the one doing the farming. “His crops feed two villages and it’s not nearly enough for him! Said he wanted tomatoes and citruses.”

Then it hits you. It’s not a revelation in any way but rather something you don’t think about too often - most of Ravka doesn’t get fruits in winter, especially the ones growing in warmer climates near the Shu Han border. And you not only can easily get it even when snow covers the grassy fields but you’re essentially fed it. Like that one time, you shared a tangerine with Nikolai while sitting in front of a fire, talking about unimportant things.

Despite your mother sitting right in front of you, her voice echoed in your head as though she’s a phantom haunting your thoughts and not a real person: Selfish. Spoiled. Entitled. Ungrateful. People starve because of you.

You focus on Nikolai’s warm, rough hand that’s still holding your own. The pleasant sensation is gradually grounding you, pulling you out of your head and into the present moment.

“What for?” you ask as casually as you can, not giving in to the spiralling thoughts. It still feels like you’re underwater, desperately gasping for air as your lungs burn. Squeezing Nikolai’s hand, you break the surface of the vicious tides trying to drown you in panic and shame.

Your mother, on the other hand, appears completely oblivious to your plight. “Some child told him they’d like oranges and he couldn’t say no. He’s wonderful, truly. A living Saint! What a blessing to call him my son. You should take a serious cue from him, young lady.” She waves the tip of her knife in your direction again. “But enough about your brother. What do you do when you’re not wasting time? Lay around and smell nice?”

“Well,” you swallow nervously, already knowing that she won’t be satisfied with your answer, “I meet a lot of people, take correspondence, travel across the country or read if I find the time.”

Nikolai must notice the telling crease of disappointment between your mother’s eyebrows. He joins the conversation under a skilful facade of a proud, boasting husband. “Don’t sell yourself short, love. Our Queen,” he puts strange stress on the title, “has started a scholarship for disadvantaged children, takes the time to teach young girls sewing, foreign languages and arithmetic.”

“That’s quite useless, isn’t it?” your mother looks between you and your father, not acknowledging Nikolai’s presence. She keeps stabbing the roasted pheasant on her plate with a fork as though there’s still life inside the poor poultry. “Shouldn’t you try harder?” she hisses at you. “If you continue being this lazy, the whole kingdom will fall apart! What will our neighbours say then?”

Nikolai suddenly gets up. He’s still holding your hand but you can’t be sure whether he’s doing that on purpose or if it’s just an unconscious reflex. The candlelight from the crystal chandelier cascades off his face, pronouncing the clenched muscles of his jaw - he’s angry and barely holding it in.

“Our meeting at this table is adjourned,” he announces in a firm voice. “This is beyond unacceptable. I have overlooked your transgressions simply because of your affinity to my wife. Still, I am disheartened and disappointed with the way you address your queen in her own home. The guards will escort you back to your chambers.”

You hear your mother and father trying to argue and protest, saying something about you being ‘too proud’ and ‘forgetting your place’ but you’re so dumbfounded you can’t make out the details. The guards lead them out of the dining room through one of the tall pairs of doors. When they close behind them, everything goes silent - the brick walls muffle any turmoil your parents might be causing.

Suddenly, your throat constricts. It’s hard to take a breath. Has it always been so hot in here? The tips of your fingers tingle, blood never reaching them.

He threw them out and you didn’t say anything. If they didn’t hate you before, they surely do now. You’re a disappointment, not their child. They haven’t done anything wrong, after all. You’re no good, useless, ungrateful, dramatic.

Suffocating with panic, you run out of the room through a different pair of doors, across the dining hall from the ones behind which your parents had recently disappeared. You hear Nikolai’s footsteps behind you but they are muffled by the noise of bloodflow ringing in your ears.

“Hey, talk to me,” he calls out in a soft voice. You turn around to look at him. His hand is almost at the height of your shoulder but it momentarily drops as though he just backed out from touching you. “What’s going on?”

For a man as smart as him, that’s a really stupid question.

“Why did you do that, Nikolai?” you snap at him.

His eyebrows furrow slightly. A gasp of disbelief brushes past his lips - he clearly thought the two of you were on the same page. “They were insulting you over and over again. I couldn’t just sit and listen to that.”

Truly, you should have expected that. He’s been adamant about standing up to your parents from the very beginning. Still, you’re angry that he just had to be stubborn and do the one thing you explicitly asked him not to do.

“What happened to laugh at insults? Isn’t that your own advice?”

“It is.” Nikolai finally finds it in himself to place his hands on your shoulders. “But I found myself unable to remain collected when the bitter words were aimed at you.” His palms brush against your dress and the skin of your neck until they’re cradling your face.

“I can,” you state firmly. “You should have let me handle this, I’m used to this.”

You escape his loving grasp and he lets you. Walking forward away from him, you’re not quite sure where exactly you’re heading. ‘Away’ would be a lovely direction but quite impossible when you’re confined to those four walls of marble and gold.

“You shouldn’t be,” Nikolai calls out after you.

Suddenly, you halt. You look at him around your shoulder. “What?”

“You shouldn’t be used to being treated like this,” he says in a defeated tone while walking towards you again. “They just keep putting you down, humiliating you. You’re not even slightly upset about that?”

“Of course, I am but…” you hang your voice, finally questioning your own feelings towards your parents. “It’s unfair for me to be angry with them. Ungrateful. I never went hungry or cold. They gave me medication when I was sick and made sure I went to school. Every year they’d give me something for my birthday. Neither of them has ever raised their hand against me. They’ve done all they could to give me a good life. Who am I to complain?”

“You’re the Queen,” he drones the word. His hand holds the side of your face again, thumb lovingly brushing your cheek. “People say your name in the same breath as the names of all the Saints. When I don’t know what to do or what decision to make, I always ask myself what you would do. And I’ve never once regretted that. There are important people who have agreed to my invitation only after hearing that you’ll be there too. You change everything. So you get to be angry when someone refuses to see that. I know you can take a few mean words but I don’t want you to.”

For a moment, the two of you stand in comfortable, intimate silence. Your absent gaze is stuck to the floor as you’re pondering his words. Whenever you’re about to accept that maybe, just maybe, you’re doing something good and important, the voice of your mother echoes inside your head: ‘Vain’. But Nikolai wouldn’t lie to you, would he? At least not in those circumstances.

“Can you keep a secret?” he speaks up quietly, bringing your attention back to him.

“Don’t tell me you put a wild racoon in my parent’s bedroom,” you joke, surprising yourself at your newly-found humour.

He scrunches his nose. “Alright, can you keep two secrets?” The echo of the empty halls carries your bright laughter. “To be honest, I wanted to marry you the moment you argued with me about stealing that merchant frigate in Kerch.”

“I could tell,” you answer with a slow nod. “You had a really stupid look on your face, all dazed and absent. In fact, you wore the same one on our wedding day.”

Nikolai’s lips turn into a playful smile and he’s about to say something definitely smart and smooth but a servant interrupts him:

“Your most royal highness,” she says nervously as she curtsies, “your mother wishes to see you. She seems thoroughly upset, if I may say so.” Judging by her fearful, wide-open eyes, she must have gotten a taste of your parents' hurt ego.

Anxiety once again floods your mind. Maybe you should go, apologize and pray they won’t go on a tirade about ‘raising you differently’. But then you hear Nikolai inconspicuously but meaningfully clear his throat.

‘You’re the queen’, his voice echoes in your head. A queen doesn’t cower and bow her head, does she?

“Tell her I don’t take visitations tonight,” you order the servant.

“Right away, моя царица.” She can’t hide the waver in her voice. Judging by her already fearful demeanour, she can guess quite well what will happen the moment she relays the information.

Yes, you will have to warn your parents that they actually can’t hurl insults at your servants. It’s going to be challenging, yes, but this newfound confidence is a ferocious beast, driving you to own up to the title of the queen - not in the way your mother and father want you to but in a way that you need to.

“Oh, one more thing.” The girl immediately stops and turns around at the sound of your voice. “Make sure they don’t leave their wing until either of us says so. I don’t want them wandering around my home.”

“Of course, my Queen.”

The servant bows again and leaves the two of you in a rushed step. Nikolai waits until she disappears around the corner to let his hand drop to the small of your back. He leans in close, indecently so. “I love it when you get all commanding,” he whispers against your neck.

An airy laugh leaves your lips as he pecks the soft skin behind your ear.

____

мой царь [mo-ee tzar] -> my tsar/king

моя царица [mo-ya tsa-ree-tsa] -> my tsaritsa/queen

[carolperkinsexgirlfriend]

Steddie Upside-Down AU Part 40

Part 1 Part 39

Days pass, and Steve’s painkiller script runs dry. Without the pills, Steve’s every waking moment twinges, but what irks him more is the way his life is passing him by.

He spent almost a week in a painkiller haze of sleep, and now he’s awake and pissed off.

The swimming season is almost over, he’s going to be drowning in schoolwork, and he’s just sitting in the Munson trailer, rotting with Eddie by his side.

Will had gone back to school yesterday, and Steve’s itching to scrabble back into mundanity.

His doctor, Wayne, Eddie, hell even Joyce, all act like it’s too soon, like he’s made of crumpled paper, like he needs handled delicately or he’ll tear.

He’s sick of it. Steve wakes up, too early with the taste of ash in his throat. Eddie’s already awake, curling his fingers around Steve’s forearm and dragging him closer in his small shoebox bed.

“What day is it?” Steve asks.

Eddie squints at the clock, reading the vivid red 4:43 on the clock like it’s a calendar. “Thursday…” he says, voice ragged with sleep, trailing off, clearly unsure.

Steve stares up at the dark ceiling, doesn’t look at the glowing red, and says, “I’m going to school today.”

Eddie squeezes his forearm, says, “Steve,” plaintively.

“I can’t do this Eddie,” Steve whispers. He blinks and he’s there, staring up at the vines writhing on Eddie’s ceiling, the red of Eddie’s alarm clock pouring through the windows. He blinks again, and he’s back, Eddie’s warmth beside him. “I’m going crazy, cooped up in here.”

Eddie sighs, a long, dramatic groan that vibrates Steve’s head where it’s propped up against his chest. “I can’t believe you’re making me go to school, Stevie,” he says, trailing his fingers gently up and down Steve’s shoulder.

“Don’t you miss your friends?” Steve asks, pointedly not thinking of his own.

Eddie’s still rubbing Steve’s shoulder, as he replies, “Yeah. Jeff called a few days ago, and Wayne told him I had the flu.” He sighs. “I just hate lying to them.”

Steve’s relationship with Tommy and Carol is built on a bed of deflection and lies. No, what you said didn’t hurt my feelings. Of course, I want to throw a party and get stuck holding the bag when the cops show up. Yeah, my parents are out of town a lot, you’re right, it’s the best.

But sometimes, when Tommy was just the right level of tipsy, or late at night at one of his sleepovers with Carol, one of them would say something real. Carol would whisper about the diet her Mom was on, how her bones were that of a bird and Carol was so afraid of being whittled down to nothing. How Tommy’s dad had hit his face hard enough to bruise, and then gotten made that he looked like a ruffian the next day.

How Steve’s parents don’t stick around long at all.

Those are the people he misses. The people left rotting in the corners of the ones who roam the halls of Hawkins High. That’s not who he’ll get to see at school today.

“They’d understand,” Steve says. “If they’re your friends, they’d understand.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Eddie says, letting the topic drop.

Wayne grumbles over his mug of coffee when they stumble out of Eddie’s bedroom, both dressed in Eddie’s clothes, but doesn’t say much. They share a quiet breakfast, as Wayne scarfs down his meal before bed, drooping into his plate.

Eddie rifles through the whole trailer until he finally finds the van keys discarded in the bathroom. Wayne sends them off with a gruff, “come home if ya get tired,” as they walk through the door.

Steve doesn’t notice he doesn’t have any of his stuff until Eddie’s already pulling into the parking lot, students glaring and giving a wide berth to his van as it loudly chug chug chugs into a space.  

He can’t remember if he had any assignments due, what they were learning, barely even remembers his class schedule. It’s like everything from before has the haze of a dream. Only the nightmare of after is crisp and real.

The whispers as he stumbles out of Eddie’s van, start slow. They grow louder when Eddie rushes to the other side of the van, holding out his arm in an offer of support that Steve snubs.

Eddie walks by his side, leaning into him like he just can’t help himself. “You know,” he whispers conspiratorially. “It’s not too late to pretend I kidnapped you or something.”

Steve snorts, letting his elbow slide into Eddie’s ribs as he takes a step closer, even as the stares fillet his skin right open. “I’d make a terrible captive.”

Eddie laughs. “You really do,” Eddie says, shaking his head in mock disappointment. “Coming here against the doctor’s orders? Naughty naughty!”

Steve jams his elbow into Eddie’s ribs, hard this time, sending him reeling even as he laughs, clutching the abused spot.

No one approaches them, treating the whole spectacle like it’s a television show. Fascinating and untouchable.

But the bubble inevitably bursts. Tommy’s loitering by Carol’s locker, arm slung over her shoulder as she digs through its contents. She laughs, smacking his arm even as she smiles up at him. They look happy. Fine. Normal. Like Steve hasn’t been missed at all.

There’s something dark and slimy slithering up Steve’s throat. He swallows it down.

He keeps walking, Eddie by his side, not looking their way. So, it’s a shock when a small hand grabs his hand and yanks.

“What the hell, Steve?” Carol says, looking up at him with wide eyes. “Where have you been?”

“Nevermind that, what happened to your hair?” Tommy asks, laughing. Like Steve being missing is a joke. Like everything always is, with him.

“Just felt like a change,” Steve says, smiling sarcastically at them before trying to continue on his way.

Carol’s hand tangled in his sleeve stops him. He looks down at it. Her fingernails are turning white under her pretty pink nail polish. He sighs, stops, Eddie stopping beside him.

“I was in the hospital,” he says, meeting Carol’s eyes, pretending Tommy isn’t there at all. “Thanks for visiting by the way.”

She takes a startled step back, stretching Steve’s borrowed sweatshirt out with the way her fingers are still hanging onto it. As if she can sense people staring, she steps forward, holds her ground as she glares up at him, hissing, “we didn’t know!” she stamps her foot, loud with her clunky heels. “We went to your house, and no one answered!”

“And you didn’t think that was weird?” Steve demands. “You didn’t think, huh, maybe we should look for Steve? You couldn’t even pretend to give a shit?”

“Steve, I—” Carol starts, before Tommy interrupts her.

“So, what?” he demands, posturing into Steve’s space before Eddie throws out an arm, pushing him back. “You got your feelings hurt and you decide to start slumming it with the trailer trash?”

That dark thing slithers back up Steve’s throat. He pours it out at Tommy’s feet. “Anyone’s an upgrade compared to you,” he spits. “Poor little Tommy, has to make everything a joke so no one will notice there’s nothing underneath.”

“Steve!” Carol gasps.

“Oh, like you’re any better!” he says, something vicious and snarling crawling out of him. “Act like a bitch so no one gets any closer.”

“And what does that make you?” she demands.

“Steve,” Eddie says, pulling him back. “Let’s go.”

Steve looks at the two people who were his best friends and feels nothing. “You’re right,” he says, turning around and not looking back. “They’re not worth it.”

“Whatever,” Tommy shouts. “Just go off and fuck your new boyfriend, see if I care!”

People in the hallway are staring. Steve feels their eyes like fingernails down his face. Eddie takes a step away from him but doesn’t leave his side.

“Are you okay?” Eddie asks.

Steve nods, afraid he’ll spit up rage like bile if he opens his mouth. Eddie doesn’t leave him alone until he’s at the threshold of English class.

“I’m in shop,” he says, eyeing Steve critically. “Get me if you need me, okay?”

Steve nods.

“Promise me,” Eddie says, crossing his arms and staring Steve down. They both ignore the furtive look other students give them as they slip past to get into the classroom.

Steve chokes out, “I promise,” maintaining eye contact with Eddie until he finally turns and leaves with a strained sigh.

Once he’s out of sight, Steve runs on shaky legs, shoving through the nearest bathroom door and dropping painfully to the tile as he leans over the open lid of the toilet, stomach heaving.

It’s not rage that crawls out. Something small, and slimy, and black slithers out of his throat and into the bowl.

Steve flushes the bowl, washes his mouth out and goes back to class just before the bell.

Part 41

Taglist: @deany-baby @estrellami-1 @altocumulustranslucidus @evillittleguy @carlprocastinator1000 @1-8oo-wtfbro @hallucinatedjosten @goodolefashionedloverboi @newtstabber @lunabyrd @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @manda-panda-monium @disrespectedgoatman @finntheehumaneater @ive-been-bamboozled @harringrieve @grimmfitzz @is-emily-real @dontstealmycake @angeldreamsoffanfic @a-couchpotato @5ammi90 @mac-attack19 @genderless-spoon @kas-eddie-munson @louismeds @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @pansexuality-activated @ellietheasexylibrarian @nebulainajar

[notafunkiller]

you were mine just yesterday - co-written with @marvelouslizzie

Summary: It's been a while since your break up with Bucky happened, but you're still not over him. You try to move on, go out, and have fun with your friend, Steve, but you end up in the same bar you two went to often. It also just happens that Bucky is there too, with Natasha by his side. It doesn't take long for you two to end up getting into old habits.

Pairing: exes!Bucky Barnes x female reader

Word count: 10.7K

Warnings: 18+, second chance romance, teasing, dirty talk and pet names, language, jealousy, fingering, nipples play, oral séx (the reader receiving), choking, clit play, metal arm, no condom (but they are both clean and the reader is on birth control), aftercare, alcohol (but she is not even tipsy), death mention, no mention of y/n.

Bucky Barnes Masterlist

Please, do not repost or translate without my permission! I really hope you’ll enjoy it, I can’t wait to read what you think.

The screams he hears when he opens the door and holds it so Natasha can get inside first already make him regret agreeing to this. He absolutely hates crowded places, but at the same time the food is great here, and it's literally one street away from his apartment, he can suck it up a little.

“Come on, I'm starving.”

Bucky looks around, trying to spot anything and anyone that could be suspicious, but everything seems fine.

“You can't relax even for a second, can you?”

He rolls his eyes, but right before he can comment something sarcastic in return, he hears it... your laugh, followed by a strong smell of cherries, and he immediately looks toward the bar. There you are: dressed in a lovely shirt and your favorite pair of pants, with a huge smile on your face. You look out of this world but you aren't alone, no. His stomach aches at the sight of you sharing drinks with his fucking best friend as if nothing else matters.

“Bucky?” Natasha's voice isn't enough to make him tear his eyes off you. “Hey! You said you're starving.”

“What the fuck is this?”

Bucky’s voice doesn’t go unheard by Steve.

“Oh shit,” he mumbles. “Bucky is here with Natasha.”

The moment you hear Natasha’s name you feel like someone punched you in the guts. You instantly start looking around and it doesn’t take long until you finally see them together, standing there and looking for a place. Bucky with Natasha… Why doesn’t that surprise you? A better question: Why does it hurt that much to hear it? You should have expected this.

“We should go and say hi. They're staring.”

“Is this a fucking joke?” Bucky finally looks at Natasha with a deep frown. “Did you know this?”

“Know what?”

He finds it hard to speak as if something was stuck in his throat. “About... them.”

“I didn’t know they would be here.”

Bucky seems like he doesn’t know what to do. He's trying his best not to have a breakdown right then, because how could this happen to him?

“Maybe we should leave,” you say to Steve, feeling uncomfortable already. You are in no mood to watch Bucky and Natasha together. But when you make a move to stand up, Steve gently touches your hand to stop you.

“You can’t run away from him forever.” He’s right. You can’t. You don’t feel like facing them today, but you shouldn’t be the one running either. You slowly sit back down, feeling grateful that you aren’t alone.

“Can you suck it up a little, Barnes? I won’t act like I didn’t see them just because you can’t face your ex, who, by the way, is still our friend.” Natasha rolls her eyes at him, hiding her smirk and starts to walk toward the bar. “Plus, they look like they’re having fun.”

You notice Steve smiling, but you have no idea why. When you see Natasha coming toward you and Bucky following her like a puppy, you understand and try to fake a smile, too, before taking a big sip from your drink.

“Hi. What a coincidence, nice to see you here.” Natasha leans in to kiss Steve on the cheek, then you after you let the glass on the table.

“Hi,” you force the word out of your mouth as nicely as you can. It’s not that you dislike Natasha. On the contrary, you find her a smart, well-traveled, obviously, woman. You liked her opinions in most of the conversations you had, but it doesn’t mean you aren’t jealous of her when she’s around Bucky because of the same reasons.

“So nice to see you, Natasha.” Steve keeps the conversation going. “Bucky!” He tilts his head just a little to see him behind Natasha.

You don't dare to look, though. Your hands are already sweating. Seeing him so close would make your state even worse.

“Steve.” You close your eyes instinctively at the sound of his voice, but you open them when he mentions your name too.

“Hi.”

“What are you having? This looks sooo tasty.” Natasha has always been good at making conversation regardless of her feelings, and you never wished more than then to be like that too.

“Oh.” Steve casually stirs his drink with the cocktail pick. “It’s a cherry cocktail but it’s not on the menu.”

“Of course.” Bucky steps aside from behind Natasha and comes closer to you with a serious, unreadable expression. “The famous cherry cocktail.” His tone is dripping in sarcasm as he leans in and, without any warning, he takes Steve's glass and downs it in three seconds. “Less flavor than usual.”

You don't realize the death glare you're giving Bucky until you feel Steve's hand on your skin, probably trying to calm you down. You can’t believe his audacity. This is the man who broke your heart and left you and he thinks he can just come here and act like this? Hell no!

Bucky's eyes fall to your arm and leans in again, placing the empty glass down and taking two cherries from the cherries glass.

“It’s fine,” Steve says in a way that is extra calm.

“Yeah, it is fine.” You find yourself agreeing immediately. “I can get them to make you a better one.”

“Well, I am curious now.” Natasha gives you a warm smile. “Or do we interrupt something?”

“I can order you one, as well, if you want.” You offer with a fake smile on your face, ignoring her implication. You can feel Bucky’s gaze on you even though you aren’t looking in his direction.

“No need. Come on, Nat. I’m starving.”

Nat…

“You sure?” You are only looking at Natasha and ignoring Bucky. “I can talk to the bartender and he can bring you the cocktail. He’s a good friend, he wouldn’t mind.”

Bucky puffs, shaking his head.

“You okay, Buck?” Steve can't help but ask.

“Yeah, are you okay?” You try to look as casual as possible.

“If I weren't, would you offer me a drink made by your good friend, too?” His eyes and voice don't tell you much. He asks you this in the most casual way possible. Even Natasha looks surprised.

“I think you need something stronger.” Your eyes are wandering to Natasha for a second. “Since you already tried it and didn’t like the cherry cocktail that much.”

He shrugs, not denying what you said despite it being a huge lie. Then he smirks and looks at Natasha and Steve. “I assume you don't mind us joining you, right? I'm starving.”

Of course he doesn’t ask you. He knows your answer and still decides to do this. Okay, if that’s what he wants…

Steve turns his head to you, asking you indirectly if this is okay, and you nod, trying not to look affected. Especially when he sits next to you with Natasha on his left.

You instinctively move away from him and closer to Steve.

Bucky starts to take off his jacket as he speaks. “I'm not gonna eat you, you know?”

“Hmm?” You give him a look.

“I'm not into human meat, don't worry.” He takes off his gloves. Your eyes immediately fall to his hands and you feel the sadness spread inside you. It’s so overwhelming to be around him, yet you don’t want to give him the pleasure of seeing how hard this is for you.

“I’m aware. I’m just more comfortable like this.” You reach for your drink and take a sip, turning your attention to Steve. “Should I order a new one for you or would you rather drink something else?”

Bucky puffs. “He can order for himself. He is over 100 years old, doll.”

You ignore Bucky’s comment and look over to Natasha. “Do you wanna try the cocktail, Natasha?”

She hesitates, looking at you and at Bucky, and you try not to roll your eyes.

“Do you have any suggestions with strawberries? I love strawberries.” She points to Steve. "He does, too."

 “I’m more of a cherry girl, but we can ask my friend. I’m sure he has some good suggestions.”

“Such a close friend”

“Yeah.” You ignore Bucky and raise your hand. The bartender gives you a smile before coming closer.

“Hey. Is everything alright?”

“Everything is fantastic. I just need another one of these.” You raise your nearly empty glass. “And Natasha wants to ask for your recommendations for a drink with strawberries.” You point at her while saying her name.

He gives a few options and both Steve and her agree on one.

“What about you?”

Bucky looks at him bored. “A burger: chicken, extra pickles, please.”

“Any drinks?”

“Your cheapest beer will do.” You respond instead of Bucky, and he immediately gives you a questioning look and lifts his eyebrow. But he doesn’t seem to care, and the bartender just nods and leaves.

 “So,” Natasha starts. “For how long have you two been hanging out?”

Steve looks at Bucky. “We never stopped hanging out.”

“Why would you?” Natasha winks at you, and Bucky feels he is going crazy. Many images of you and Steve laughing, walking together, even kissing take over his mind.

“Exactly.” You smile in response.

“What about you two?” Steve asks with a mischievous smile on his face.

“What about us?” Bucky asks immediately, giving Steve a hard look. “Do you want to gossip with the ladies present?”

 “That never stopped you before.” You didn’t intend to say it out loud, but it’s already out there.

Bucky's head instantly turns to you. “What?”

“I said that never stopped you before.” It’s too late to back out so you decide to go for it. Bucky usually doesn’t care who is around. He says what he wants to say when he wants to say it. So your presence shouldn’t stop him.

“I heard you the first time. I was waiting for additional explanation.”

“Oh, good. I thought your hearing was getting worse for a sec.” You just look into his eyes. “You always say what you wanna say. So why would us being present stop you now?”

“My senses are perfect, thank you for your concern. Natasha and I are hanging out, too, obviously.”

Your bartender comes back with the drinks and that stops the conversation. He puts your drinks by one by, saving Bucky’s beer for the last.

“We’re out of our cheapest one so I brought the second cheapest. I hope that’s okay.”

 “I'll survive,” Bucky murmurs.

“Your burger is coming up in five minutes.” And with that remark, he leaves you four alone.

“This tastes amazing,” Steve smiles, squeezing your hand, and Natasha immediately agrees.

“Yeah.”

“Glad you like it.”

“Want to try it, Bucky?” She asks him with an innocent smile, which makes your blood boil.

Bucky shakes his head and drinks from his bottle. “Ah, this tastes too expensive.”

“You’ll survive,” you whisper, imitating his tone.

“Oh, I will.” He gives you the most charming smile you've seen in a while and takes your glass to take a sip.

“Will you stop drinking other people’s drinks without asking them?” You can’t hide how done you are with his entitled ass.

 “You'll survive, I'm sure.” He mocks you without a care in the world. You can feel the tension increasing, but you have no idea what to do. You can’t control your reactions, and he keeps pushing you.

“Oh, I will, but…” You move closer to him just a little. “If you need… you know… some help you can have a drink on me.”

 “Hmm.” He chuckles and moves closer, too immediately catching on to what you meant. “Don't worry about it, I am sure Nat would cover me.”

“I am sure she would.” You smile back, fighting the urge to roll your eyes and break the glass into tiny pieces, so you just put your drink in front of him. No way you are gonna keep drinking that.

“Hey, Adam!” The bartender looks at you from a bit far away. “Same drink, please.” He winks first and then nods.

Bucky frowns and downs the drink, trying to look unaffected. “You had no problems sharing drinks with me before.”

“Now I’m more careful about what I put into my body.”

Steve tries to mask his laugh by fake coughing, but you notice anyway. So Bucky must do it, too.

“I can see that. You don't mind sharing drinks with my best friend now.” He gives you a bitter smile for the first time in ages. The way he emphasized the word drinks makes you wonder what’s running through his mind.

Adam comes back with his burger and side dish, and you feel your mouth water. “Enjoy and let me know if you want anything else.”

Bucky takes a big bite from his burger as you reach out to his fries and take a couple without a care. If he can freely drink your cocktail, you can steal some of his fries.

Natasha and Steve look at you surprised.

“What are you doing?” Bucky asks, chewing loudly on purpose.

“Taking some of your fries.”

“Thought we don't share drinks and food anymore. We moved on from that. We passed that stage.”

You remark his and Natasha's closeness again and feel your blood boil.

“So it’s okay for you to do it, but it’s a problem when I do it?” Yet you take another fry and put it inside your mouth, looking directly into his eyes. You want him to know this is not about fries or sharing stuff.

Bucky's surprise is visible all over his face. He's simply speechless even after Adam brings you your drink and you give him a forced smile.

“Thanks, Adam,” You say like everything is fine. “I will use the restroom. Would you keep an eye on my drink for me, Steve?”

And you leave without waiting for an answer.

You go to the restroom, lock your door and sit down. You just need a minute alone because all of this is too much for you. Seeing him with Natasha tonight is hard enough, but he keeps challenging you. He acts like nothing is changed, but everything changed when he decided to walk away. Even though you don’t wanna admit it, your feelings for him are still there and they’re making everything harder.

You take a couple of deep breaths and remind yourself this was going to happen one day. It just happened to be today and you can get through it. You’ll be fine.

You get up, unlock the door and just wash your hands, splashing some water on your neck, too, before you look at yourself in the mirror. At least you are looking alright.

You jump when you hear the door opening and turn around just to see Bucky locking the door again.

“This is the ladies’ room!”

He looks at you as if he can't understand what you're saying.

“I said this is the ladies-”

“I heard you the first time. What the fuck do you think you're doing?”

You puff. “I should be the one asking that question.”

“I am not here sharing drinks with your best friend, am I?” He walks toward you.

“No, you are here with Nat.”

Bucky washes his hands in response, not understanding how you can compare Nat with Steve. You are here on a date with his best friend.

“Have fun with Nat and stay away from my drinks.” You leave the ladies’ room, but he’s right behind you.

“I wasn't finished with you.”

“That sounds like a you-problem. I have a drink that’s waiting for me.”

“Just be honest and say Steve is waiting for you.”

“Just like Nat is waiting for you.” You look like you are tired of this conversation already when you snap.

“Are you having fun, doll? Are we bothering you? Did you want to enjoy your date all alone?”

You make a face when you hear the word date. So that’s why he was acting like that. He thinks you are on a date with Steve. “What I do with my life is none of your concern! Just go and enjoy your own date.”

“None of my concern, right?” His calm facade is finally falling. “You are on a fucking date with my best friend!”

“Oh, so that’s why you decided to be an ass? Because you think Steve picked up the toy you threw away?”

When he gets so close to you, you feel like you're suffocating. “Careful.”

“Or what?”

“You forgot what happens?”

“Oh,” you say in a mocking tone. The audacity he has! “Well, too bad you don’t get to do that anymore.”

“Does he do that?” He closes his eyes, still too close to you. “Do you let him touch you? Is this why he isn't around?”

You raise your hand instantly, wanting to slap him right there for crossing a line, but you manage to control yourself, remembering his past. You see him closing his eyes instinctively and you sigh. You might be mad at him, but you wouldn't hurt him like this. He is not a bad person… And you don’t wanna bring his trauma back.

You take a deep breath and retreat your hand.

“Maybe he isn’t around because you are an ass, did you consider that?”

“Why him?” He opens his eyes. “I would take all of your slaps instead of living through this.”

He sounds so weak, and tired, and sad. There is a part inside you that gets angrier because he thinks so low of you, but there is another part that understands and wants to assure him you would never do that to him.

“Why him what? I’m not dating your best friend, Bucky. Pull your head out of your ass!”

He freezes. He really freezes and lets out a deep, deep breath as if he's been holding it for a long time. His forehead drops until it meets yours, and you gasp surprised.

“I was going insane, baby. I felt like my life was just...”

You take a step back, not letting yourself enjoy his touch or his baby. “It doesn’t change the fact that you are here with Nat.”

“What about Nat?”

“What about Nat?” You repeat his question. “Did you forget she’s waiting for you? Or the fact that you suddenly left me? Me not dating Steve changes nothing. So stop calling me baby or doll or whatever charming pet name you come up with.”

Bucky laughs humorlessly as he shakes his head. “You think I'm really with Nat? You think I could ever replace you? That I'd even try?”

“Then why the fuck did you leave me?” You are so close to shouting, but you still don’t want people to hear you. Your eyes are getting filled with tears.

 “Why do you think, huh? Do I look happy to you? You think I'd leave you to date Romanoff?”

 “Why not? She’s perfect!”

Bucky looks at you dumb-faced. “For who? For what? Why do you...”

“For you! You two are a perfect match!” You take a breath, trying to contain your emotions. You don’t want to cry in front of him.

He is instantly touching your arms again, making you shiver. “Why would you say that?”

“Because even if you aren’t dating now, you will realize how perfect she is for you eventually. So go back inside. Don’t let her wait.” You sniffle, your head is slightly shaking because of all the emotions you are holding back.

His flesh hand grabs your chin and you feel his hot lips on top of yours before you can react.

The way he kisses you makes you wanna cry even more. It reminds you of everything you tried so hard to forget yet never managed to…

Even though you want to give in, you take a step back. You can’t handle another heartbreak.

“Don’t…” The tears start to fall down. “Just don’t.”

“Do you not want me?” His eyes are teary, too, and there is nothing to hide anymore. But he can't ask this, he can't do this to you. He is unfair. He left you, he broke it off. He...

“Do you have any idea how much you hurt me?” You try to dry your tears with the back of your hand. “You can’t just come back, kiss me and expect everything to be fixed!”

 “I am so fucking sorry, baby. I wasn't trying to hurt you.” He stops himself and sighs. “I really don't deserve you. I keep making you cry.”

“Saying sorry isn’t enough, Bucky. What did you think would happen when you left me? Did you think it wouldn’t break my heart? Is this what you want to hear? That you broke my heart when you left me? Here! I’m heartbroken because of you. Happy now? Can we go back inside now?”

“I just wanted...” He shakes his head, wiping off his tears. “Let's just get inside.”

“What did you want Bucky? Tell me. What did you wanna hear?”

“I'm not worth it, that's fucking clear. I am sorry for this whole mess I brought into your life.”

“Don’t ever say that!” You angrily point your finger at him. “You know how much I think you deserve. This is solely about you leaving me. You made that decision, remember? I opened my heart to you and you left me! Don’t make me feel guilty about getting hurt.”

 “Don’t you realize how dangerous it is?” He says desperately, looking you in the eye. “I would get you killed... we all would...”

“Really? Is that why you left me?” It angers you more than you imagined. This is probably the worst reason he could give you. Like you were safe before meeting him. As if he didn’t save your life.

“Bucky?”

You jump when you hear Natasha.

“What?” He snaps, looking at her. There is nothing in his eyes that can be even close to desire, you notice.

“Are you gonna come back or should we leave and let you cry for the rest of the night?”

“No, Nat, we're leaving.”

You grab Bucky’s arm and drag him out despite the shocked look on Natasha’s face, and Bucky just lets you.

“Pay the check. He's gonna transfer you the money for our order later,” you say casually while half of the restaurant looks at you.

Steve throws him his leather jacket without hiding his smirk, and Bucky catches it, giving him a typical Bucky look without saying anything.

“Where are we going?” Bucky finally asks when you’re outside and you let go of his arm.

“Your place obviously. Did you walk or took the motor like a lazy ass?”

Bucky rolls his eyes and puts on his jacket. “I walked.”

“Fine. So we are walking back to your place then.” You wait for him to move as he laughs and shakes his head.

“What?”

“You said that when we met too.”

You roll your eyes. He’s always been a stubborn ass. You remember him insisting the serum will do its job and he’ll heal faster, but you couldn’t just let him bleed, so you had to drag him to your place. “Just walk.”

“Bossy.”

“If I remember correctly, you said that when we met.” You don’t wait for him and just start to walk, trying not to think about what he said.

You miss his huge grin and his boyish look, but you hear his footsteps. He reaches your side in no time. “I missed you.”

You close your eyes for a second and try really hard not to say you missed him too. “I can’t do this again, Bucky. I can’t get my heart broken for the second time.” You sound like you are in pain.

He nods. “I didn't even think you’d want that.”

“I just don’t understand what you are trying to do.”

“You deserve to know the truth and the context, so you can stay away from us for good.”

You huff, but you don’t say anything. You two walk in silence for a while and luckily it doesn’t take more than five minutes to arrive at his place.

You get to his door and the familiarity is killing you. So many memories come to your mind and you're not even inside yet.

When you finally step in, it's like time has not passed: the TV, the couch... except for the sheet. The sheet is back on the floor.

“Are you sleeping on the ground again?”

Bucky sighs, taking off his shoes. “Can we ignore that? Let's focus on your questions. Do you want a glass of water?”

“Answer my question while pouring me a glass of water then.”

“The man who almost killed you when we met?” He opens the fridge and takes out the water bottle before directly handing it to you. “He's a part of the new wave of Hydra.”

You look at him, feeling completely confused. You don’t even notice the water bottle.

Hydra?

 “They might know about you...” He bites his bottom lip entirely, showing his frustration. “We managed to take a few down. They are careless as fuck, so young and dumb.” He just puts down the bottle on the kitchen counter.

 “You… left me… because you think they are after me because of you?”

Bucky looks away. “Does it matter?”

“Isn’t that why I am here? Because you wanted me to know the truth. So just tell me. Is that why you left me?”

“He knew your name, where you work, your family.” Bucky pauses, trying to control his anger. “He knew we were together. I have no idea how because you know... you know I never let my guard down. And what if they’d have gotten you? What if they do? You need to stay away from me, us.”

He can’t believe Steve or the rest thought it’s okay to continue to be around you.

“So you decided to leave me alone, be a more vulnerable target. Good job Bucky! Very well done!” You start to clap. “You are the dumbest person I have ever met.”

“Do you honestly think I left you unprotected?” Bucky puffs, as if he can't believe you'd ever think that.

“Then why did you have to leave? What was the point, huh? If they already knew all that stuff about me… about us… What the fuck was the point?”

“What if they kidnap you or kill you just have me back?”

You sigh. “You know that’s always a possibility in our world right?”

He hesitates before speaking. “What if they trigger me?”

You take a frustrated deep breath. There is no way they can do that again. No way! But if he thinks that, then it means he doesn’t trust himself or his skills. Again. “You accepted the defeat already.”

Bucky snaps immediately. “Do you not understand I could kill you? I could kill you and not even...” He closes his eyes unable to look at you as he speaks. He could not recognize you. He could make you suffer in the worst possible ways if you were his target.

“This is why I said you accepted the defeat already!”

 “I could kill you...” Bucky repeats so shaken.

 “You wouldn’t.” You’ve never been more sure in your life.

 “How do you know that? I almost killed everyone...”

 “You didn’t kill Steve.”

Bucky gets closer again, shocked by how calmly you talk about his worst nightmare. “I can't risk that. I cannot risk your life.”

 “So you would rather leave me alone and heartbroken.”

 “Yes.” His answer comes instantly. “If you're alive, that's-”

 “And go back to sleeping on the ground!”

“It's not like I sleep much anyway.” The way he says it... like it's not a big deal at all amazes you.

“You know what bothers me about all of this? Something I didn’t think you would do...”

“What?”

“You took my choice away.”

Bucky is shaking when he hears you, completely taken aback.

 “Instead of telling me about all the risks, you decided on your own. I would never do that to you.”

“I dreamed about this. I... I saw you,” he pauses. “I was choking you."

 “Not something you didn’t do before.” Your response comes instantly, without much thinking because the tension is killing you and you want to lighten the mood a little. “Choking, I mean.”

And he smiles. You make him smile and it feels like you won the lottery. “You quite liked that.”

“You did, too.”

“I did, you were very pretty.”

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

Bucky sighs, not knowing what to say. “I'm sorry for putting you through all of this.”

“There’s something else you should also apologize about.”

“What?”

“For taking my choice away...”

“I am sorry for that,” he says instantly. “But I don't regret it. I made the right choice.”

“If you don’t regret it, we don’t have anything to talk about. I don’t need your sorry.” If he doesn’t regret it, what’s the point of this conversation?

“Your life is worth everything to me." His voice is so soft as he speaks.

“I understand that, but it doesn’t make it any better.”

“I am sorry for not telling you." He keeps apologizing.

“You don’t regret it, though. So… I don’t know where to go from here. Maybe I should go.”

He tries to hide his disappointment. He's being unfair and he knows it. “If that is what you want... let me grab the hamlets and I can give you a ride.”

“I don’t need a ride.” You don’t want to be that close to him on his motorcycle. You can handle yourself. You wish things were different, that he had told you the truth. You would have to make him see things from your perspective, but he didn’t share anything with you. He pushed you away completely.

“No fucking way.” Bucky shakes his head. “You should know this by now.”

“You’re not my boyfriend anymore so you don’t have a say.”

“No,” he simply responds.

“The sooner you accept that you have no say in my life anymore the better.” He can’t keep acting like he’s a part of your life. You understand his fear, his good intentions, but he refuses to see the whole picture. You’re not safe either way and he still protects you. He could have done it and still be by your side.

Bucky comes even closer to you. “It's not safe. Did you not hear me until now?”

“So dropping me off is somehow safer? Do you ever hear yourself? You told me you left me because my life was in danger and you don’t regret breaking my heart. And now you wanna drop me home and make me a target again? Is sleeping on the ground killing your brain cells too?”

“I have a fucking metal arm.” He raises his left arm. “I didn't mean just Hydra's dumb men. I mean normal dumb men too.”

“I did not forget that you have a metal arm, but you did since you broke up with me. And you apparently also forgot that I can handle dumb men all by myself. You chose this! You had your reasons, I get it, but you can’t just come back whenever you feel like it, okay? You can’t go all passive-aggressive like you did to Steve because I am on a date. You can’t offer to drop me off. If you’d decided to get out of my life, stand by that choice. Since you don’t regret it, it shouldn’t be that hard.” With every sentence, your anger is rising. You don’t realize you say the words like you’re spitting them out.

“I did not mean it like that.” He ignores the comment about how you can handle yourself because there are limits to that. “I regret not being with you, deciding that for you if that's what you mean, but I don't regret making this choice for your own good. And you would have gotten bored of me anyway. I have too much baggage, too. You shouldn't have to deal with this shit."

You shake your head, absolutely crushed by his words. How can he think he’s so hard to love? How can he… “If lying to yourself helps with sleeping at night, go for it, but that’s not the truth.”

Bucky sits down on the couch. “You cannot deny I am right.” He sighs. “Let me call you an Uber at least.”

“You want me to lie and I can’t do that, Bucky. You were the love of my life. I would never get bored of you.” You don’t know why you are saying all this. You thought and think about him constantly. He wasn’t just your boyfriend, he became your best friend.

You can see the surprise and happiness all over his face right away. He's glowing.

“You were mine, too, I hope you know that.”

“I didn’t. Not until now.” You bite your lip, trying to hold back your tears. It’s just so hard.

“I wish things could be different, but I promise I'll keep protecting you.”

That makes something inside you snap. “It could’ve been different! But you chose this!” Your anger is suddenly pouring out. “I don’t want your protection. You are either in my life or out of it. There’s no in-between. Do you understand me?”

“No.”

“God, I hate you so much! I hate how stubborn and stupid you are! I hate that you never listen to me! I fucking hate how you make me feel!”

Bucky stands up. “Do you think this is easy for me? Do you think I don't want to talk and hold you and make love to you? Do you think it's easy, huh? No! But someone has to make these decisions! I won’t let you die because you're stubborn.” He's so red and angry. “I am not worth it.”

 “For fuck’s sake! I’ve had enough of this, okay? One second you tell me you have to stay away and another that you wanna make love to me. You treat me like shit and then kiss me! Why do you do that, huh? Why?” You don’t wait for a response, letting out everything you have been holding in. “I don’t fucking care if it’s easy or not. You know why? It wasn’t my decision. YOU DIDN’T LET ME CHOOSE YOU. So if you are suffering that’s on you, pal. My suffering is on you, too. Now get out of my way. I wanna go home.” You try to breathe and control your anger again, but it feels impossible.

“What do you want me to do? Risk your life?”

“I want you to get out of my way and stay away from me. I’m done with talking, arguing, and crying.”

“You won't see me.” He looks away as he promises you that, and you feel like crying more than ever. That's it? “But you have to promise me you won't see the others.”

“The others?”

“Natasha, Steve, Sam. We are all the problem.”

“Oh, hell no. Fuck no! No!” You point your finger at him, angrily. “You don’t get to decide shit anymore. Especially not about my life. You are done with making choices for me!”

“Did you not hear what I told you tonight? They should know better. I will have a discussion with them about it too. They are so stupid-"

“I don’t fucking care. Should I spell it out for you? Would that make it easier for you to understand? I DON’T FUCKING CARE! You don’t want to be in my life, fine. Your decision, but them… I’m not giving up on anyone.”

“Why are you so fucking stubborn? We are talking about death and life.”

“I made that choice the day we met, okay? When you fucking saved me. I’m way passed that point. They are my friends, too, and they will stay that way. This conversation is over.”

“I'll call you an Uber.” He murmurs, knowing continuing this would not a wise decision. He expected more from Steve at least. He knew how dangerous this is. At least Sam and Natasha seemed to understand.

You’re surprised when you see him suddenly giving you a funny look. “What?”

“I can't believe you really thought I could be with Natasha like that.”

Of course this would come and bite you in the ass!

 “I always thought you two would be a good match.” That was always on the back of your mind, thinking if they gave it a chance it would work amazingly. She is beautiful, powerful, lethal… and Bucky deserves the best. Seeing them together double hurt.

He gasps as if he can’t believe this. “What?”

“Why are you so surprised?”

“We were together and you thought I could ever replace you with her?” He sounds hurt and confused at the same time.

 “Yeah. I was sure that would happen one day.”

He stares at you completely blank for a while and you don't know what he's thinking. You were honest.

“And you say I gave up on us? You thought I am gonna-”

“It doesn’t matter, Bucky, okay?”

It does, actually, very much, but you’re so tired and hurt and simply without energy.

“Fuck it.”

You don't expect him to take you by the back of your neck and kiss you, surprising you for the second time on the same night. You don’t understand why this set him off or what he’s trying to do. All you can think of is how much you missed this.

He whimpers when he realizes you don't reject him and licks your bottom lip.

You wanna cry. You wanna hit him. You wanna push him away, but you also want to keep kissing him. You hate how conflicted you are feeling.

He closes his eyes, letting you go. “I don't know why I...”

You know how that sentence would end. You don’t need to hear it. He doesn’t know why he can’t stay away from you.

“So you are really that dumb.”

He stares at your lips. “Fuck, maybe I am.”

 “You definitely are, but I am dumber.”

You grab him by the collar and kiss him again. He doesn't hesitate to open his mouth and let your tongue find his, his hands grabbing your ass and bringing you so close that you feel his hard-on.

“Fuck.”

Everything feels overwhelmingly familiar and you missed this so much. You missed his lips, his taste, his touch, his smell… You grab his face with both of your hands and kiss him however you want, however you need.

“No one can replace you, alright?”

“Then what is the point of all this?” His face is still between your hands. “You want us to live in agony for the rest of our lives?”

“I just want to keep you safe, baby.” He kisses your palms. “I really don't want to risk your life. I couldn't survive!” He's haunted by that image of you dying, him killing you… He wouldn't be able to move on with his life.

“But I don’t wanna live like this.”

“How do you want to live?” He finally asks.

“I wanna be with you, Bucky, but you don’t let me. You don’t let me have you. You don’t let me move on. How am I supposed to live like this?”

 “You want someone else?”

 Seriously?

“I said all of those things and that’s what you heard?”

“I heard you, but it's all a mess. I am a mess. I would understand.” His tone is ice cold. He's so frustrating.

You grab his face with one of your hands again and force him to look you in the eye. “Would you really understand?” You question because you are damn sure he wouldn’t. “You would rather have me forgetting all about you and moving on than being with me?”

He seems to think intensely for a couple of seconds, contemplating, imagining different scenarios. You can feel his jaw clenching and you bite your lip.

“You know there is no turning back then, right?”

You don’t understand what he means. “Turning back from what?”

He kisses you as if that is the only answer he can give you. And kisses you. And kisses you until you feel the salty taste of his tears.

Your heart breaks seeing him like this. So vulnerable and tormented. You break the kiss, look at his face, and you feel yourself tearing up.

 “You're so fucking stubborn, baby.”

 “So are you.”

Bucky smiles, kissing away a few tears on your cheeks. “Can I have you?”

“You gotta work for that.”

That doesn’t seem to deter him. “Yeah? Good, I love working.”

“Yeah? Because it’s not gonna be easy.”

Bucky smiles sadly. “When do I like it easy?”

“I mean it, Bucky. You have to earn my trust back.”

He takes a step back. “And I mean it, I'm here to prove that. I know what a hard and long process it is, and I would never leave you alone again unless you are tired of me. I will protect you with my life, I promise.”

You can’t believe the switch he made. Finally!

“Good. Now come and kiss me because I missed you.” You finally admit it out loud. He’s being vulnerable, so can you, but he hesitates a little.

There’s something in his eyes, maybe it’s the willingness to do anything to earn your trust back, including holding back and waiting, but you don’t want to wait.

“I said gaining my trust will take time. I didn’t say I wanna wait, Bucky.”

“What's the difference?” He’s reluctant, not wanting to make another mistake.

“The difference is I am horny.” It’s been too long. You can’t hold back anymore.

A playful smirk takes all over his face as he comes closer to you. “Are you now? And what can I do about it?”

“I don’t know. What can you do?” You dare him like you don’t know all the things he can do.

“Depends.” His hands grab your neck softly.

“On what?” It’s astonishing how easy it is to fall back into habits.

“On the limits you want to set.”

“You know my limits.”

He looks at you surprised. “But do you trust me with this?”

“My trust issues aren’t over this, and you know it.” He always knew when and where to stop. Never made you feel unsafe. Your only problems are the way he left you and how his actions hurt you.

“Intimacy means a lot of trust,” he says but brings his hands down to your shirt anyway.

 “I know. If you didn’t turn into someone else during the time we were apart, I trust you with this.”

“I don't have protection.”

You give him a look. “If you don’t wanna do it that’s fine.”

He snorts, literally ripping your shirt in half, buttons flying everywhere. “Yeah, I totally don't.”

His actions don’t surprise you. You are used to him ripping your clothes. You just look at your teared-away shirt, amused.

“Sounded like many excuses to me.”

“Do you not see my fucking erection?”

You look down, smiling. “Oh, I do see it.” It’s not something you can ignore.

“You lied to me,” he says in a low voice, taking off your bra in a couple of seconds using his flesh hand.

“About what?”

“About Steve. You wanted to drive me crazy.”

“I didn’t say anything about Steve.”

Bucky raises his eyes from your boobs to your face. “You let me think you are dating him.”

“You assumed I was dating him because we were out together and he was trying my favorite cocktail.” You start to unbuckle his belt, incapable to wait any longer. You missed him and his cock so much you are aching. “Take off your shirt.”

Bucky groans in annoyance. “Don't remind me. You made it for him.” He sounds like a jealous kid. “Take it off yourself.”

 “Yeah, I was gonna make it for Nat, too.” You finally unbutton his pants and push them down without paying much attention.

Bucky laughs, tilting his head.

“What is so funny?”

He takes off his shirt. “Your voice is getting higher when you're angry.”

“And?” You raise an eyebrow, challenging him to continue.

“Did Nat piss you off or something?” He unbuttons your pants, too, as he asks.

“You piss me off.”

Bucky smiles. “You tend to say that a lot. Nat doesn't think that.”

“What does she think?”

He pulls down your panties and you're surprised a little. You expected him to rip them.

“I guess I don't piss her off.”

You grab his face and make him look at you. “I bet you are on your best behavior around her.”

Bucky bites his lip. “Maybe I am.”

“Now who is lying?” You grip a little harder.

“I don't know, doll. Who is lying?” He moans.

“You enjoy it, don’t you? Seeing me like this? Getting me all worked up?”

You feel his hands on your hips all of a sudden. “You're getting flushed when you're worked up. So beautiful.” He leans in, trying to kiss you, but you don’t let him. You push him back. “Couch or bed?”

“Couch, it's closer unless you want the bed.”

“If you fucked anyone on that couch, I’m not even going close to it.” You look at him in the eye while saying that. It makes your skin crawl.

He grabs your face. “If you think I did this, maybe we shouldn't do anything.”

“What? We weren’t together.”

“I see.” His voice is so low that you barely catch it. What you said goes both ways.

“Don’t go all grumpy and jealous again. I didn’t fuck anyone.”

He puffs relieved. “I'm not grumpy.” He kisses you desperately, though, lifting you at the same time until you wrap your legs around him, and carries you to the couch.

He sits down and his hands drop to his sides, letting you find a good position on his lap.

You push him on his back while trying to make yourself comfortable. “Lay down.”

 “I can't reach your tits from there.”

“Just lay down. You are gonna like this.”

He leaves a kiss on both of your breasts before doing what you said, waiting eagerly. You move closer and closer under your pussy is right above his face. He doesn't say anything, and quickly pulls you completely down as if you'd have changed your mind any second if he hadn't done it. You lose your balance for a second but quickly grab the arm of the chair for support.

His tongue is everywhere for a while before stopping on your clit directly. He teases you, though, licking around it, and you can't stand it. You move your hips, trying to get his tongue right where you need it, and he chuckles, sending small vibrations to your clit.

“Just stop teasing me,” you say impatiently. There’s no time for games.

You don't understand what he murmurs, but you feel his tongue finally on your clit at the same time he gets a finger inside you. That gets a loud moan out of you.

“It wasn’t that hard, was it?” You complain while he pumps his finger in and out.

You feel Bucky's vibranium hand making its way to your chest, and you gasp at the cold touch right on your nipple.

 “You always find a way to do what you want to do.” But you aren’t complaining. It feels really good.

He adds a second finger inside you just when you finish your sentence.

“Oh, fuck you!” You say after moaning loudly. He’s definitely doing this on purpose.

He doesn't hesitate to move his fingers in a fast pace, opposite to the way he is using his tongue, which you know he does on purpose. Old habits...

“Just lick it properly if you don’t want me to torture you later.”

He pinches your nipple in response.

“Just stick your tongue out.” You move yourself a little bit away from his mouth.

He opens his eyes instantly and frowns. “What are you doing?”

 “Taking matters into my own hands.”

His eyes glow and he immediately opens his mouth, sticking his tongue out eagerly. Then you grab his hair and lower yourself onto his mouth, gently riding it.

Bucky moans, keeping his tongue as flat as he can. He can literally die like this and he'd be the happiest man on earth.

You slowly pick up your pace, listening to your body and the need to come grows when he moans just because you tug on his hair a little harder.

His fingers start to move again, surprising you since you're the one riding his face.

It makes your knees shake; it becomes harder to move for a second.

“Oh fuck.” You curse loudly. “I’m gonna- come.”

He whimpers in approval and adds a third finger out of nowhere. You can’t say anything. The only thing you can do is moan while riding his tongue. Bucky keeps the same pace, squeezing your breast at some point until you finish all dizzy.

You take deep breaths, still holding onto the arm of the couch. Then he grabs your hips, lifts you up and you find yourself on your back. You yelp because of his sudden move. He kisses you before you can say anything and spreads your legs at the same time. You feel the wet tip of his cock right at your entrance and you moan, giving him access to deepen the kiss while raising your hips slightly so you can feel more of him.

“That was so good. I missed you so much.”

You stare at his wet chin and cheeks and smile. Your face is now wet, too, but you don't care as you kiss him again. You kiss him until you feel breathless. Then you look at him, still high from your orgasm.

“I think I should’ve been the one to say that.”

“I missed you so much.” He repeats as he pushes inside you,

“Oh fuck.” It feels so good, even better than you remembered. “I missed you, too!” You sound breathless.

“I fucked my fist a thousand times thinking about you.” Hearing that turns you on even more.

“Yeah?” So you weren’t alone because you thought about him. Only him. “I imagined my dildo was your cock like a thousand times, too.”

Bucky's thrusts are finally getting faster. “Yeah? Was it good?”

“Some great some underwhelming orgasms. Yours?” You wanna know so badly.

“Nothing can compare to your pussy.”

“Not even another pussy?” You want to push him, so you don’t hold back your question.

He grabs your face. “I'm inside yours right now and you wanna talk about other women?”

“You know what I want to hear.” And it’s definitely not other women.

Bucky's eyes soften a little as he kisses your nose. “I haven't been with anyone else. And no pussy can compare to yours. No one can compare to you, stubborn little baby.”

You don’t feel any shame when a loud moan escapes your lips. That’s exactly what you wanted to hear.

“Harder?”

“Whatever you want.” It’s like your mind suddenly switched off.

Bucky brings his vibranium hand to your mouth. “Suck then.”

You don’t say anything, you just wrap your lips around his finger and start sucking.

“Good girl.” He starts thrusting a little harder, enjoying the way you look so out of your mind. “My good girl, taking my cock so well. Did you miss it so much?”

You wanna say something, but your mouth is occupied. So you moan instead.

“A fucking sight.” He groans, taking his thumb out of your mouth despite your protests. “Never letting you go.”

“Oh, you finally made up your mind,” you say in a mocking tone.

“Gonna choke you with my cock next and we'll… fuck! see if you'll mock me then, too.”

“You can choke me now, you know.”

Bucky brings his flesh hand to your neck instantly and you frown. As much as you enjoy him finally slowly returning to his own habits, he's still being careful.

“Really?” Your eyebrow raises automatically.

“What?”

“If you’re gonna hold back, maybe we shouldn’t do this.”

He sighs. “It's been a while, I don't want to hurt you.”

“Can you even hurt me?”

Bucky stops mid-thrust and raises his eyebrow. “What?”

“I think you might be getting old. Or maybe the serum is wearing off.”

You didn't expect him to bite it so quickly, but he does, grabbing your thighs and finally fucking you harder. “Gonna make you scream.”

“You are definitely getting old.,” you say half breathless.

“I won't make you bleed, baby. We can go harder than this after you get used to having sex with me constantly again.”

“I meant your memory.” He’s going really fast and it makes it harder to speak. “You forgot what I asked for.”

“Want me to choke you?” He moans, realizing what you mean. “Beg for it.”

“Just choke me, old man.”

He says something, but you don't understand what, and when you feel the cold metal on your neck, you don't even care. You close your eyes in pleasure.

“Like this? Is this what you want?”

“Yeah.” The words barely leave your lips. It feels amazing.

“No dildo can replace my cock, can it?”

“No.” You shake your head. “Nothing can.”

“No other man, either, right?” You feel his wet kiss on your neck. “No other super soldier. Not Steve.”

“Steve?” You can’t believe he’s actually asking this. Is he that jealous?

“No one else.”

You grab him by the hair and force him to look at you while you speak. “I don’t want anyone else. Do you hear me?”

Bucky smiles. “I don't hear you. Can you repeat it?”

“You bastard!” You smack his chest with a big smile.

“Bastard?” Bucky laughs, slowing his thrusts.

“Old bastard.” You laugh with him.

“Fuck, I'm gonna make your ass red.”

“Make me come first,” you say in a challenging tone.

He squeezes the sides of your neck a little harder than before and the pressure makes you dizzy in the best way. “You're so wet for me. So fucking wet and perfect for my cock.”

Your mouth opens but nothing comes out. No words, not even moan. Bucky smiles when he feels your whole body trembling and a few of his hair strands fall all over his face. His flesh hand goes to your clit, circling it a couple of times in the middle of your orgasm.

“Oh my fucking god…” You murmur. It’s like your whole body is electrocuted.

“Can you take my come, baby?” He asks squeezing your neck a little more. “Gonna give it to you. Gonna...”

“Yes, please.” It is like a whisper, but you know he can hear you. “Please.”

That's all it takes for him to come. And come. And come. A lot, you can feel it filling you and probably dripping out on the couch because there's so much come. You kiss his forehead and hair, anything you can, still feeling out of this world. It's like you could fly.

You missed this... Feeling like being one with him. Sharing this high. It feels you with all kinds of emotions.

“God, I missed this.”.

“Of course you did.” You giggle.

“Did you not?” He fishes once again before bringing his head to your boobs and licking all over them.

“Fuckkk.” Your laugh turns into moaning. You want to push your breasts more into his mouth. “You have no idea how much I missed you.”

He sucks your right nipple in return. “Ihm.”

“If you keep sucking it I might come again.”

Bucky sucks even more, bringing his vibranium to your other breast.

“Move your hand on my clit,” you say after moaning loudly.

He does it quickly, making sure to tickle you before finally touching your clit. You giggle first, then moan when you feel his mouth sucking on your nipple while his fingers work on your clit. You close your eyes and let yourself enjoy this double stimulation.

“So soft.” You can barely understand what he says while still sucking. You take a sharp breath when your legs start to tremble. He's enjoying every single whimper of yours as he keeps moving his mouth and hand at the same time.

You love hearing the sounds he makes while sucking on your nipple. You run your hands through his hair and enjoy your high to the fullest until it feels too much. You grab his hair and move his mouth away from you.

“That’s… that’s… enough.”

“Why?” He sounds like a little kid.

“I’m… sensitive.”

Bucky takes his mouth off immediately with a pop and kisses you as an apology. You tremble under his touch once again, sighing right after it.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” It’s obvious that you don’t mind. You sound content and satisfied.

He completely gets out of you too while licking his finger. “Gonna get you a towel and a glass of water. And a blanket.”

“Why a blanket?” You look at him confused while Bucky stands up hesitatingly

“For you...”

“Did you sell your bed or something? Are we sleeping here?” You joke.

“I was gonna make you some fries...”

“Fries?” You straighten up a little, surprised.

“Yep. I think I have some pickles, too.”

“Okay.” A warm smile spreads on your face. This is the Bucky you remember. He smiles, too, and goes to the bathroom probably, but you hear his chuckle anyway.

*

“Come on, one more.” You try to force the fry inside his mouth, but he's a stubborn man.

“They are for you, baby. Eat!”

“If they are for me, I decide what happens to them and I want you to eat one more.”

Bucky rolls his eyes but takes the fry anyway. “Happy?”

“Very.” You take another fry and start chewing. “You know we should talk, right?”

“Well aware, yes.”

“Are we gonna or…” You’re hesitant because it feels good to be like this with Bucky after a long time, but you also know you should be talking and sorting things out.

“I was waiting for you to start.”

“The problem is I don’t know what to say.” Or where to begin. You feel like you’ve already said everything. Or better yet, you screamed it to his face.

“What do you want to know?”

“Are we trying again or are you gonna say this was a mistake?” It’s at the back of your mind. The fear of him leaving again…

“This could never be a mistake, love. I was simply trying to protect you the best way I knew. I will protect you.” He sounds genuine, but it doesn’t change how you feel.

“If you leave me again, it doesn’t matter why, you won’t have another chance.” Your tone is more serious than before. You want him to understand this. You can’t keep playing this back-and-forth game over and over again. You don’t believe in second chances, but this is an exception. The only exception you are ever willing to make because you understand his intentions, how his mind works, how his trauma still hits him. Dealing with Hydra again is a scary thing. You can’t imagine how he felt when he found out.

He looks at you so proud. “I know. I am lucky I got another chance in the first place. I am not even worth it.”

“Stop with the self-degrading talk, will you? I can’t stand it.” You always hated the way he talked about himself. He’s worth everything.

“But it's the truth.”

“I can’t believe you went back where you started the moment you left me. The self-degrading talk, sleeping on the floor…” It bothers you so much, like it’s somehow your fault, but you know it isn’t.

Bucky closes his eyes. He's not proud of it, but there is nothing he could have done to control it. “I am a lost case, I know.”

“Bucky,” you say in a surprisingly firm tone, and he opens his eyes back. “You’re worth everything, but you gotta believe it yourself first. I can’t magically make you see how wonderful you are. I don’t have that kind of power.”

 “Sometimes I feel it, but sometimes... there are some really hard days, you know?” He sighs. “The past I had, my Winter Soldier past, too, the mess... it's hard to believe I deserve some kind of peace, but I'm trying.”

You know he is.

“You are a wonderful person, especially when you are not an asshole who thinks he knows the best for everyone.”

“I'm a super soldier, remember? I'm used to making these kinds of decisions.” He gives you a small guilty smile.

“You know what soldiers are meant to do right?” You quickly continue without waiting for an answer. “It’s definitely not making decisions.”

“No?”

“No. Good soldiers follow orders.”

He smiles. “I'm a bad one, don't you know? The worst soldier.”

“Until further notice you are not allowed to make decisions.”

“It's not that simple.”

“No, it’s pretty simple. Don’t tire that beautiful head of yours. It’s not meant to make decisions anyway.” You try to sound like a 40s husband on purpose.

Bucky's head snaps to you. “You sound like my grandfather.”

“So you are familiar how this works.” You finally give him a smile.

“I'm gonna take care of you. No one will hurt you.” He still doesn’t get it, so you decide to explain.

“You will do whatever I say until I trust you to make your own decisions.” Your voice is firm. You don’t like it, to be honest, because you know this is super hard, especially for someone like him... giving away the control knowing everything he's been through, but what choice do you have?

Bucky frowns. “What does that mean?”

“It means if you want me back, you will let me decide on things for a while. You took my choice away and made us both suffer. Letting me decide is how you earn my trust back.”

His stomach aches. “I don't feel... what does that mean? There are many things, I can't just...”

You can see the panic so clearly and you realize how this must have sounded. “Calm down, Bucky. I don’t mean everything. Just things about our relationship.”

“Your safety is off the table,” he says without hesitation, and you’re surprised he doesn’t protest about something else. “You can decide on everything else.”

“Nope. That’s what got us here.” You sound calm.

“You don't understand the level of the danger.” His voice is trembling. “Everything but your safety.”

“You fucking left me over this, Bucky!” You raise your voice a little because what if he finds another Hydra member and tries to leave you again? “How can I trust you and accept this? How can I know you won’t do it again and say it is for my safety?”

“Conditions. Name them all, I am up for it, but I cannot play around with this. I couldn’t sleep for weeks because of it. Please... I need to be in control just in this aspect. I need to protect you.”

You think for a second. “You talk to me first. That’s the condition.”

Bucky leans in and steals your fry, agreeing happily immediately. “Done.”

“And you need to respect my decisions. Even if you don’t like them. I don’t like yours all the time, but…”

“When did I not respect your decisions? I think you are very bright and rational, usually.”

“When you didn’t even ask me and took a decision for me.” You look into his eyes daringly.

“Would you have stayed away from me? And I said usually.”

“I wouldn’t and it would be my decision.” He can’t use this against you.

“Why?”

“I could hide, I could act like we aren’t together, I could act like I hate you, but I can’t stay away.”

“We could never act.” He kisses your forehead.

“Fine. We could only see each other in secret then.” That was another possibility.

He smiles like what you said reminds him of something. “When can we have a date?”

“Tomorrow?”

“I hope you won't change your mind.” He grabs your head and you squeeze it.

“I won’t ever change my mind about you.”

You kiss him before placing the plate on the coffee table and resting your head on his chest where it feels like home.

[mochinomnoms]

original request jade leech x gn!reader [tags] – fluff, suggestive [cw] - a tad more explicit compared to the last ones [wc} – 2,875 prompt 18: “Is this normal here?” “Only for the emotionally unavailable folk.” “Ah, so it is.” note - i think i blacked out and woke up to this. jade is just so, aaaaaa!!! a floral inconvenience

Teonanácatl mushroom – In Nahuatl, teonanácatl can be translated to “flesh of the gods” and were sometimes used by the Aztecs as a hallucinogen and aphrodisiac.

Despite your best efforts to not say anything, to not complain, to not even give a hint of what was bothering you, it was obvious to everyone that you had the hanahaki. 

It was even more obvious who for, considering you were sprouting up bell-shaped brown capped mushrooms instead of the traditional flowers. 

Of course Jade’s favorite mushroom would be one of the psychedelic ones. Of course, you had to accidentally swallow a piece of one when spitting them out. 

You could’ve dealt with that, honestly. Strange visions? Check, you got them leading up to every overblot. Distorted vision? Fine, you know Ace’s messed with your vision once or twice while practicing spells. Even the weird sensations every touch, breeze, and vibration in the air caused were somewhat bearable. The magic that seemed to consume the surrounding air made your skin tingle weirdly, you could deal.  

What you couldn’t deal with, was how horny they apparently made you feel. Without fail, depending on how much of the mushrooms you managed to swallow before spitting the majority of them out, five to ten minutes you’d feel the effects. 

Paired with the psychedelic effects, it was torture. You were overstimulated and on edge constantly. Even without the weird trips, the mushrooms were apparently a potent aphrodisiac.

It left you squirming as Jade, the current bane of your existence, stared at you from across the flight field.

Thankfully, none had come out from your throat today, so you were present and alert for once this week. 

“You know Prefect,” Azul spoke up, sitting next to you as the two of you sat out of flight class. You, due to your condition, and him for falling 10-feet off his broom. 

“The flower sickness is quite an easy fix, have you not visited the nurse yet?” 

You shook your head, watching Floyd hang upside down on his broom, screeching as Jack and Silver attempted to ease him into a soft landing. You snorted as the foot that was hooking him to the broom slipped, making him fall on top of Jack. 

“Nah, it’s fine, I don’t think she could deal with the constant lucid trips, last I went she just told me to get this potion for my symptoms, but they’re all flower based!”

Azul raised a brow as he watched you lay on the grass and stretch your limbs until you resembled something of like a starfish. 

You groaned, “They all account for like petals, thorns, or pollen messing with your immune system, but not for fungus and spores… I need to just straight up get rid of them.”

“May I offer some advice—”

“For your prices? No the fuck you may not—”

“—as a mutual friend between you and Jade?” You shut your mouth at the mention of the teal-haired man while Azul continued. “The best and quickest fix is to just tell him your true feelings. It’s the one true, guaranteed cure to your sickness.”

“You say that like you're familiar with it.” If you noticed the tips of Azul’s ears turn purple, you didn’t say anything. “Is it really that normal here?”

Azul scoffed, giving you a wry smile. “It’s only for the emotionally unavailable sort of folk.” 

“Ah, so at this school, it most definitely is.”

The two of you chuckled while Floyd stomped over to your resting spot, visibly limping. 

“Maaaaaan this sucks!” The twin threw himself over Azul, who buckled to the ground under Floyd’s weight. 

“Ow! Floyd!”

“Coach Lobster says I sprained my ankle and can’t go to basketball club later!” Floyd whined, wrapping his lanky body around Azul, who was less than amused. 

“I’ll be stuck at the dorm, I don’t wanna deal with a whiny Jade!”

He turned his attention to you, sneering. “Hey Shrimpy! Go fix whatever ya did to make Jade upset! He’s been acting like a lovesick brat since ya stopped talkin’ to him, it’s gettin’ real old.” 

You scoffed, “I didn’t do anything! And why’s everyone acting like we’re a couple? We’re just friends, sometimes friends don’t talk for a bit!”

“Friends?!” Azul hissed, eye twitching as he gave you an incredulous look. “Some ‘friends’ you are. Based on the sounds I hear coming out of his room late at night, I highly doubt that.”

“We’re friends with benefits!” you cried out, looking behind you to see if anyone noticed or heard your outburst. As you did, Azul and Floyd shared a confused look. 

“Friends with…benefits?” Azul asked. 

Floyd nodded, also questioning your words. “What’s that?”

Despite your best efforts to explain the concept, the two couldn’t comprehend the idea of casual intimacy with an acquaintance or friend. Apparently it was a strictly human concept, as Floyd put it: “Why’d you wanna do that with someone other than a mate? Merfolk aren’t built like that!”

You left class with more questions than answers. Questions you probably could’ve had answered if you spoke with Jade. It didn’t help that Azul and Floyd kept giving you concerned looks as they quietly spoke with Jade, who kept glancing at you with a neutral expression.

Mostly neutral, his brows were furrowed as he spoke with his brother and friend. 

Oh well, a little mystery never hurt no one!

Stomping over to the Mostro Lounge, you kept looking over your shoulder for Jade. Even with everything Azul and Floyd said, you weren’t mentally prepared for a conversation with him. 

You’re sure that when Azul asked you to come to his V.I.P. Room, it was for some ruse to get you and Jade together. But he also mentioned you taking up extra shifts at the bar, and you were always in need of a little extra cash. 

However, that would be more interaction with Jade, and you’d rather deal with another bad shroom trip than confront any of your feelings for him. But…money.

“Hey! You!” You tapped the shoulder of one of the lounge employees, who recognized and greeted you with a smile. 

“Ah! Prefect!” The purple-haired man smiled. “Azul said he was expecting you! Go right ahead to his office.”

“Thanks!” Walking through the lounge into the hallway leading to the private rooms and Azul’s office, the eerie silence was unsettling. 

Usually there’d be at least a few employees walking around, either serving food to one of the reservable rooms or checking in with their housewarden. Even passing the employee lounge made you uneasy, as no one was there despite the lack of dinner rush. 

You did make it to Azul’s office with little issue, knocking on the door as you announced, “I’m ‘ere, Azul! Can I come in? 

You received no answer. Apprehensively you opened the door, surprised to find it empty. Entering and closing the door behind you, you decided to be nosy and look at what Azul had on his desk while you waited. 

He was probably here recently, based on the cup of tea on his desk. The door opened up behind you, so you turned to greet Azul with a wave and smile before freezing. 

Really, you should’ve known better than to trust Azul to mind his own business. You curled in on yourself as Jade entered the office, a pleasant smile on his lips he locked the door behind him. 

You decided that nonchalant and cool was the best approach in this situation. 

You greeted Jade in a polite, monotone voice. “Leech.”

“My, my, Prefect. So cold.” Jade gave you a sad look as he pursed his lips. “We haven’t spoken since our trip two weeks ago, was my company so terrible that it warrants your avoidance?”

His tall frame towered over you as he stalked closer and closer, forcing you backwards until your back hit the desk. You could hear the tea cup and saucer clink as you did. Jade placed his hands on either side of your hips, effectively trapping you against Azul’s desk. 

“W-well, I’ve been busy—

“Why, I’ve been absolutely beside myself! We had such a wonderful time camping out those two evenings that I'm left wondering if I did something wrong.” 

Jade softly spoke, a mischievous gleam in his gold eye as he leaned down to coo in your ear, “Especially since you, oh, so enjoyed my tongue in your—”

You decided that nonchalant and cool was actually not the best approach, based on the numerous mushrooms popping up from your skin and in your mouth. 

Jade whipped his head back, rubbing his chin from where the mushroom smacked into him while popping up at the crook between your chin and neck. 

He grinned as more and more bell-capped mushrooms sprouted down your exposed arms and neck, even along your head as they fashioned into a mushroom crown. 

You froze, then started hacking as too many mushrooms filled and fell out of your mouth, though you could feel yourself swallow some on instinct. “Shitshitshit, I ate some, oooooh fuck me—”

“I did two weeks ago, you seemed to enjoy it—”

“Shut up! You know that's not what I meant!” You groaned, rubbing your face as Jade leaned back in to place his hands on your hips, rubbing small circles. 

“Heh-heh, I know. You must forgive me my dear, you are entirely too easy to rile up.” He grabbed your hands so that Jade could make eye contact with you, smiling a bit softer at your red face. 

“It’s your fault you know!” You huffed, frowning (or pouting in Jade’s vision) up at him. “You and your stupid mushrooms…”

“Oh? I beg to differ.” You yelped as Jade lifted you like a rag doll and sat you on the desk. At this angle, Jade didn’t need to strain his neck as much to lean down. 

“I’d argue that this entirely your own doing. After all, nothing was preventing you from speaking to me other than your own ego.” 

“That’s not—” you angrily huffed, half-heartedly shoving Jade. “That’s NOT it and you know it.”

The eel mer frowned, a rare annoyed expression on his features. He took a deep breath, reaching for your hands to softly and tenderly draw circles into your palm. Jade tended to do this when his mind was full of thoughts, tracing random shapes into your skin. 

He was especially fond of doing so after your late night meet ups: bare bodies flush against one another in an afterglow as he lulled you to sleep with sweet words, tracing out his name and hearts against your back. 

If you thought too much into it, sometimes you think he was tracing your first name with his last, usually done after a particularly rough night. 

You didn’t want to think too much into it though, all those nights. Jade was simply indulging your soft heart. 

“I don’t, actually. Can you imagine my ire when my beloved partner not only started sprouting psilocybe mexicana, but it was from hanahaki. Do you know the implications of that to me?”

“Look, I’m sorry that I’m sooooo emotional and am ruining your ‘cool’ and ‘intimidating’ reputation!” You cried out, pushing his hands off of yours to cross them, looking to the side.

“I didn’t mean for my feelings to get so out of control. The first rule to being friends-with-benefits is to not catch feelings, and I broke it.”

You shrugged as you continued.

“I had them before, but I thought that if we just got involved casually, I’d get over them eventually…it’s not my fault you talk and act so sappy…like you want me to fall more in love or something…” 

Jade was silent, which in itself wasn’t unusual for him. What was, was the troubled, nearly distraught look on his face. You’d be annoyed at how pretty he still was if the expression didn’t freak you out. 

“Most likely because I was under the impression that we were courting. You are aware that I have been addressing you as my mate for several months now, yes?”

Time froze, though it might have been the effects of the mushrooms starting to hit. Or a combination of the shrooms and your brain trying to process the words that just left Jade’s mouth. 

Mate. Floyd called you his brother’s mate. He’s actually been calling you his mate.

“What?” You squeaked out, voice meek and tiny. “Mate? Like, your partner-type mate? Like, this is the person I’m marrying-type mate?”

Jade let out a chuckle, cutting the distance between you until his face was right up to yours. 

Startled, you grasped on the lapels of his uniform, trying to steady yourself as you leaned back. Jade’s arms were splayed on the table as he once again trapped you against the desk. 

Though this time, intentionally you’re sure, he settled himself between your legs as you, subconsciously mind you, loosely wrapped your legs around his hips. 

Jade smirked as he watched you cough out another handful of mushrooms, though he was disappointed to see none were bitten this time around. 

“Allow me to, how do you humans say? Ah, yes, open your eyes to the situation.” 

Jade grabbed your chin, forcing you to make eye contact with his stern gaze. “I do not involve myself with other people to such an…intimate extent casually, especially as a merperson.”

“This thing you call ‘friends with benefits’? As a concept it’s entirely human. Merfolk? If we see something, if we like it, then we make it ours and you?” 

Jade chuckled, leaning down and taking your earlobe into his sharp teeth. 

“Little human~” he purred. “I made you mine the moment we blessed my bed with your sweet cries.”

You shivered from the points of his teeth as he tugged, sighing as he let go, up until his lips met your pulse point at the crook of your neck, suckling down. You could feel his pleased hum vibrate through your spine as you mewled in response. 

Heat pooled in your belly while your skin felt like it was simultaneously on fire and freezing, though you couldn’t be sure if it was the effects of the mushroom or Jade. 

“J-Jade, stooOOoOop i-it,” despite your protests, you tilted your head to offer the rest of you like a present, little gasps escaping your lips as his lips trailed down, following the mushrooms that adorned your clavicle. 

“What if Azul o-or your—o-ooh fuck—or your brother walk in?”

Jade leaned back with a closed mouth smile, admiring the red marks adorning your neck. 

“Let them, so that every time you forget what you are and what you mean to me, the image of my mate bent over this desk is burned through their heads, so that it implores them to remind you of what you are.”

Pushing you until you laid flat on your back, Jade hovered over you with a grin and beheld your flushed face. 

You slid your hands from his chest to loop around his neck, bringing Jade down to meet your lips before he stopped. 

You furrowed your eyebrows at him, eyes widening as he stuck his tongue out to reveal a singular mushroom. He must have hidden it under his tongue after swiping it from your neck earlier.

“Wait, Jade!” You gasped as he bit and swallowed the fungus. “It’s a psychedelic—”

“And an aphrodisiac, I’m aware.” He hummed, a pleased look on his face.

“Land flora is so fascinating, I’d hoped to introduce this one to you over the summer, to experience it together, back home in a nice, private little grotto.”

Jade pressed his lips to yours, surprisingly gently, as you returned it with a growing intensity. His right hand reached up between your embrace to undo the buttons of your shirt. 

“Oh well, I suppose we can share an experience here. Isn’t the thought of someone walking in exhilarating?”

Once your shirt was open, and your chest exposed, Jade took the tips of his fingers between his teeth and yanked his pristine white glove off. He trailed his exposed hand, starting with a squeeze at the base of your neck, and slowly gliding down. 

His pupils were slowly blowing out as the effects of the mushroom started to take hold, his breath increasing as you grew more and more needy from the aphrodisiac. 

“Jade, please~” you tried again to yank him down for another kiss, this time succeeding as your lips clashed against one another. 

“Jade…I need…” 

“Shhh. I got you.” Jaed cooed, hips grounding against yours as your kiss intensified. “I got you Y/N, my little human, my pearl, my mate—”

“Hey Jade, are you two almost done talking, I’d like my office back—ACK!” Azul shrieked at the sight of you two over his desk, Floyd popping his head out from around the now open door. 

“Hmm? Ewwwww!” Floyd made gagging sounds as you quickly redressed yourself, Jade looking amused at the situation.

“You’re supposed to talk it out, not get it on! Go somewhere else! It’s bad enough that I can hear you through the walls, you’re like three rooms down from mine!”

Jade let out a chuckle, wrapping his hand around your waist once you were up and buttoned up. 

“Of course, I wouldn’t want to bother you. Come, my pearl.” You were dragged out of the room, wincing at the other two with an apologetic look. 

You apparent ‘mate’ was guiding you to the exit of the lounge, to the direction of the pools. 

As he leaned down to whisper into your ear, you could feel his grip tighten on your hip, causing a pleasurable buzz to crawl up your body, your lucid high growing stronger. 

“Why don’t we see how my merform handles the mushrooms, and then see how you can handle me, hmm?”

[miniimight]

first off, I just wanna say how I love how you write izuku like??? my sweet boy doesn't get much appreciation and I'm just obsessed with the scenarios you've made with him 🤭💜 second, would it be okay to request a scenario in which the bnha boys (Deku, Bakugo, any other if you want!) who's been dating the reader for a while but it's a secret relationship- which suddenly gets revealed?

thank you! can't wait for more of your writing! 💜

SECRET RELATIONSHIP GETS REVEALED ! the secret relationship between you and your pro-hero boyfriend gets revealed to the public

with deku, bakugo ( pro heroes )

notes ahaha izuku is definitely one of my favs and ur so right when u say he doesn't get enough appreciation :( but i'm here to change that lol ! thanks for requesting ! idk if this is what you had in mind but i hope you enjoy it nonetheless <3

your boyfriend didn't want his relationship with you to go live because one, he's legitimately one of the most hated heroes by villains and two, the media won't ever leave you alone. he found it better this way, for both of your sakes.

it worked for a while, and though the both of you had to make little sacrifices here and there, the arrangement was more than perfect. that was until someone tipped the media off with one (1) very rare photo of you and boyfie out and about in disguise (a terrible one, at that).

photos of the pro-hero's new companion dominated the internet and everyone was wondering who the mystery person was.

it happened so fast that you and your boyfriend were out of the loop. in fact, you and your boyfriend were out on a secret date when the news exploded.

IZUKU

izuku zipped his crossbody bag up and fitted a black baseball cap tightly on his head. his green curls were hard to miss regardless of any disguise he thought up. he flashed you a determined smile. "ready for our day out, love?"

"born ready," you mimicked his way-too-serious tone. "but won't you relax a bit?"

at your comment, his shoulders stiffened. "why, do i not look relaxed?"

he was standing like his friend, iida—almost robotically, like a sentry who was on high alert. you could see the tired circles under his eyes though the shadow of the cap made them almost invisible. his casual outfit covered one of the essential pieces of hero gear; his gloves. it was almost as if he was expecting something bad to happen.

you drifted to his side, an amused smile on your face. "we've done this before, izu. nobody will notice!"

"at least i have a better chance," he raised an eyebrow at you, spinning you around in his arms. "your disguise is non-existent."

"hey, i'm not the super-famous pro-hero that everyone adores." you stuck your tongue at him, making him smile reflexively.

"it's not my fault i'm so charming."

"oh my god."

a little more bickering and a car ride later, you both arrived at the museum you had planned to tour. the guide handed you pamphlets after welcoming you to the grounds, informing you that she'd take you around the exhibits in a short moment.

"oooh..." you flipped through the brochure, excitement bubbling through you. "there's a lot of things in here."

izuku rested his chin on your shoulder, trying to read as fast as you were flipping pages. his hand enveloped yours in an effort to stop you from turning the pages at a lightning pace— "honey, can you go slower?"

you giggled and thumbed the whole pamphlet, making a little buzzz sound as you did so. "weren't you at the top of your class, izu?" you shrugged nonchalantly. "just read faster."

his hands snaked to clasp around your stomach from where they rested on your waist. an uncontrollable laugh threatened to bubble out of you. "really, 'just read faster'? a little cheeky today, aren't you, love—?"

"uhm... couple at the back, please refrain from pda as there are children around." the tour guide cleared her throat. a crowd had gathered for the next tour around the museum and it appeared as though they were ready to start.

you and izuku jumped away from each other as if you were caught by a teacher in high school, your cheeks heating up from embarrassment.

"sorry, miss." izuku mumbled in a low voice, head hanging. he gave you an amused smile that you returned with a huge grin, accepting the hand he held out for you.

halfway into the tour, the group grew so bored they retreated to the comfort of their phones. hanging around the back, you thought it unusual that so many people began to glance backwards at you and your boyfriend, whispering among themselves.

you caught glimpses of their phone screens, questioning why the hell your face was on them.

you nudged izuku's side to tell him just as the teens in front of you spun around, screaming "it's deku and his s/o!"

you and izuku froze like deers in headlights as the commotion spread through the group.

wait, how do you know? the news just made a story about it today. there's a picture of them here! and besides, he's wearing the same disguise.

you gave izuku a pointed look and he smiled sheepishly at you. "what the heck should we do?!"

"deny it??" he said, though he didn't seem sure of his answer. "that photo?" he talked to the crowd again. "not her."

"yeah, i get it all the time," you chuckle nervously, playing along. you shrunk into his side. the attention was sending shockwaves through your body.

the kids weren't buying it. "well, you're obviously deku." one deadpanned.

"me?" a boxy grin spread on his face as he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "no, i'm just... not him..."

seriously, didn't they have specific media training classes at UA for this kinda thing? you rolled your eyes at his response.

"who else has green hair?!" another crossed their arms. "you're so deku."

you both held up your hands, as if caught red-handed by the police. you squeaked, "we're just two random, normal strangers having a date in a museum, promise—"

a kid waddled up to deku's side and pulled his signature gloves out of his pants' pockets, holding them up triumphantly. yours and deku's head slowly turned to watch it unfold before looking at each other almost comically. a long pause followed.

"it's deku and his s/o!" the kid yelled, pointing a chubby finger at the two of you. the whole vicinity was alerted to the famous hero's presence.

you clung to izuku's arms and the swarm encroached on your space, clamoring for autographs, information, pictures—anything they could get their hands on.

to your surprise, deku wasn't the only center of attention. you were asked your name, age, and occupation, where you grew up, if you knew 'their' deku in high school—

izuku's upper arm came under your bum as he leapt back from the crowd at lightning speed, yelling a very apologetic sorry! as he zoomed the both of you away to safety. you screamed as you hung over his shoulder.

he parkoured his way up the museum building, crouching on the roof. it wasn't the first time izuku used his super speed with you in his arms, but holding you like a sack of potatoes wasn't the best position—not if you liked your neck.

he set you down and smoothed your clothes, his hands flying everywhere accompanied by a thousand apologies.

your hands caught his wrist and you gave him a pointed look. "how did they find out? we were super careful."

his concerned expression quickly turned unimpressed. "sweetheart, you have no disguise."

"they believed i was just some random person after we denied it. they already knew you were deku!" you retorted, flicking his cap upwards and allowing the tufts of green to spring out.

he opened his mouth to respond before he snapped it shut. "it's not my fault i'm hard to miss..." he muttered.

you softened and moved closer, wrapping your arms around his waist and leaning into his chest. "i'm sorry, jus' a little on edge."

his hands rubbed your back soothingly before he hugged you back. "it'll be okay." he felt something cold against him and he looked down to see you pull out your phone, pressing it against his body as you got to the bottom of this. "hey—"

"it's all over the news, along with katsuki and his s/o." you hummed, scrolling through article after article.

"hey." he repeated firmly. he gently tugged the phone from your hands, slipping it in his pocket. "it'll be okay. i'll make sure you're protected, not that you aren't already, and we'll get you a new apartment, closer to mine."

you sighed. "i'm not really worried about that."

he gave you a concerned look, wondering if he needed to look into your lack of self-preservation. "...you're not worried about someone potentially attacking you?"

you rolled your eyes, lightly swatting his chest. "well, duh, but i know no one can really get past you and your brigade of hero friends." you waved off his concern. "i'm worried about the paparazzi and gossip channels—what if everyone decides i'm not good enough and they pressure you to leave me? what if—"

"i'm going to have to stop you right there," he gave one of those self-proclaimed (but also, he wasn't wrong) 'charming' smiles as he cut into your rambling. "being with you is my conviction. no one's gonna pressure me to do anything except marry you one day."

you blinked, a huge grin spreading on your face. all your worries were gone when you let his words sink in.

izuku realized what he really said. "or... something like that, you know?" he muttered under his breath, color rising to his cheeks as he looked away.

a moment passed as he held you on the museum rooftop, the date turning out much different than expected. he gasped out of nowhere, jostling you out of your thoughts. his little giggle made you suspicious.

"kacchan just texted me something really interesting; he got stuck in traffic and is trying to hide out in his car—oh."

"what?"

he turned his phone to you. it was a post titled 'NEW!" and underneath was a very blurry photo of you and izuku on the rooftop at that very moment.

you scrunched up your face. "your fans are weird."

he laughed openly. you stared at him with such adoration that you hoped the press got a picture of his blissful face so you could fawn over it later. "have you even read the things they're saying about you?" he kissed your forehead. "i have a feeling they're gonna grow to obsess over you more than me."

BAKUGO

you heard the impatient jangle of keys as bakugo called after you. "we're gonna be late for our res, baby, get your beautiful ass in the car."

you giggled as you stuffed the last of the stuff you needed in your bag. you exaggerated a gasp and wagged a finger at him. "take me on a date first, mister."

he rolled his eyes. "i am literally trying to do that right now, but someone ain't listenin."

"fine, damn, i'll go on a date with you." you huffed, keeping up with the bit as you walked past him, tossing him a playful look over your shoulder. he smiled softly, following closely.

you got in the car and watched him with starry eyes. he was focused on starting the car and setting the music, but all you could think of was how good he looked in a turtleneck. he had so much faith in that face mask, though, as you'd told him multiple times that it was a really bad disguise.

"you're starin'." he glanced out his window before pulling out the parking spot.

heat rose to your cheeks. he held his hand out and you laced your fingers in them. he squeezed your hand.

the ride was smooth and calm, the hum of the engine complimenting the mellow yet catchy songs playing. you were jamming out until you realized you hadn't moved in a while.

you ducked closer to the windshield. the light was red, and the traffic was piling up. you pursed your lips, glimpsing at the irritated drivers around you.

"looks like we might not make our res, huh?" you mused. bakugo hummed.

"it's whatever, betcha they'll still take us anyway." he grinned mischievously.

you squeezed his hand, chastising him. "kats, you can't use your 'i'm a famous hero' card on date nights."

"m'just teasing, baby." he chuckled softly, leaning back in his seat. his head rested on his shoulder as he gave you a look. "better get comfortable."

you laughed and let go of his hand, turning fully in your seat to face him. "kats! keep your eyes on the road!"

"why? i wanna look at you." he smirked.

snap!

a bright flash made both of you freeze, though bakugo reacted quicker. he sat up in his seat, leaning over the wheel as he peered out your window at the car beside you. the two girls in the front row were fawning over the picture they just took.

he glared. "a couple of fans, i guess?"

you breathed out a sigh of relief. "thank god i was facing away from—"

snap!

you squeaked in surprise and reflexively covered your face. you leaned back in the seat to see a couple other teens laughing triumphantly over their rare photo.

bakugo observed your shock and panic silently before he laughed, thoroughly amused.

you groaned, slumping below the windows. "i was talking when they took that picture, i'll look distorted." you whined, voice muffled behind your hands.

he tsked. "i'm sure they got your good side, babe." he was trying to act calm but really his mind was racing at a million thoughts per minute. he had tinted windows. he made sure to make an appearance this morning so people would think he was out hero-ing for the whole day. was this a freak occurance, or...?

you opened your phone and were flooded with articles upon articles of you and bakugo on your dates. in hindsight, yes, those disguises were really bad. those pictures were low-quality but anyone who was anyone would be able to recognize bakugo's spiky blond hair.

everyone was speculating who the mystery person was and how their relationship would be, etc etc. you groaned again as you held up your phone to bakugo.

"what?" he whispered, breaking out of his thoughts.

"come down here," you motioned for him to join you below the window.

he scrunched up his face. "... i'm not doing—"

"come down here." you hissed, pulling him by his shoulder to crouch below the window's line of sight. he blinked, not entirely surprised or against the action. "look!"

he scrolled through, some news pages looking familiar. he sighed. "my agency was starting to talk about these rumors."

"why didn't you tell me?!"

"i thought they'd handle it!"

you pouted and he softened, kissing your cheek. "no one's gonna get a hold of any bad pictures of you, promise. i'll make sure of it."

you smiled. "really?"

he grinned, lovesick. "yeah." so what if the whole world would know you're his? he could deal with the details later.

muddled banging made you jump.

"dynamight, is that your s/o?!" the girls from the car over squashed their faces to the window, cupping their hands around their eyes.

you screamed and dynamight gave them a what the hell look.

he blast through the car roof, holding you by the waist as he soared upwards with loud pops behind him. landing on a nearby roof, he checked to make sure you were okay. all he was concerned about was the frown on your face.

"what, you not comfortable with everyone knowin' bout us?" he asked, voice soft.

you perked up, shaking your head. "no! obviously not. i'm just..." you curled your knees to your chest. "you're a hotshot and you have so many people after you. dunno if i meet expectations."

"who cares?" he scoffed indignantly. "you exceed mine. that's all that matters."

you giggled, your sad disposition quickly morphing into a smile. "yeah?"

"yeah." he assured you, pushing your knees down and swinging them to the side. the momentum made your whole body twist so that you were parallel to him. he wrapped an arm around your shoulders and you leaned into his embrace.

"now i gotta call that nerd so he can move our car. we're causin' more traffic."

bonus:

"kacchan!" izuku chirped, his s/o on his back as he floated in the air. bakugo's face twisted up as if the green-haired boy wasn't one of his best friends.

"hey." bakugo jerked a thumb at his very broken car. "can you take care of that for me?"

"yeah, i got it." with his gloves on, izuku initiated blackwhip. the tendrils snaked around the car and hoisted it into the air, freeing up that lane once again. "did you suddenly get exposed out of nowhere, too?"

bakugo snorted. "yeah, ain't that a coincidence?"

izuku chuckled softly as he nodded. "yeah, super weird."

who could've gotten the jump on two of the most famous heroes' love lives, anyway?

© miniimight ! thanks for reading <3