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#just wanna make that clear everyone
peteypiessuperfamily · 4 months
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I woke up from a dream and was possessed to ask if anyone has read a fic where a teacher at Midtown is making passes/is in a "relationship" (im using that word lightly) with Peter or someone his age that he knows about and its eating him up inside so he breaks down and tells Tony and Tony is rightfully pissed and takes matters into his own hands (either through the school or through his gauntlets i dont care) because i want to read a fic like that so bad i just dont know how to look for it or if I have to write it myself
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crybaby-bkg · 1 year
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Bakugou who makes it a habit of FaceTiming you out of the blue because he’s horny. Your friend group and his own have had to bear witness entirely too many times to answering the phone and he’s exposed somehow—they always just wanna say hi, ask him how his recent mission is going. They learn after enough times, that when he FaceTimes you out of the blue, to steer clear of your phone until you give them the okay. there’s just been too many times with you answering and then screaming to the top of your lungs as you clutch the phone to your chest and tell him that there are people around.
but does that stop him? of course not, the little whore. he’ll call you after he’s gotten out the shower, so his body is still wet and glistening. he’ll call you while he’s away in some other country, with his dick in the camera and a pout on his lips because he misses your stupid face. he’ll call when he’s this close to orgasming, because seeing you will always push him over the edge.
he calls you one day while you’re working at home, typing away at your computer, your phone propped up beside you. you answer without looking at him, smiling, asking how everything’s going so far and it’s not until you look up, when you gasp.
“Katsuki!” You yell, a little giggle tearing through your words in surprise. “What if someone was around? Again?” You ask him, but it’s hard to remember why you’re this upset when he looks so pretty in front of you. He grunts, still jerking his cock as he sits on the edge of the bed, his phone propped up on what you believe a nightstand, as you can see the way his stomach curls in from how raggedly he breathed.
“You’re alone, right?” He asks in a huff, eyebrows screwing up as he takes in your wide eyes and slightly gaping mouth as you stare at his form. You nod absentmindedly, already feeling your inner thighs starting to get slick, shifting a little in your seat.
“Show me a tit, or something. I miss you.” Bakugou mutters, eyebrows pinched as he twists his wrist over his tip before he slides back down his shaft.
“When don’t you wanna see my tits?” You tease him, but oblige, lifting your shirt, eyes rolling slightly at the downright filthy noise that leaves his mouth at the sight. You don’t even have to play with them, just sit them on display and he’s already so quick to burst all over himself.
You take it a step further though, pushing back in your chair until he can see most of your body where you sit, slipping out of your bottoms and underwear until you’re on display for him. You put your knees to your chest before settling back, thighs on either side of the arms as you spread yourself, smiling at him all the while.
“So fuckin’—shit!” He sounds damn near strangled as he cums all over himself, eyes squeezed shut as he jerks at his cock. you can’t help but laugh when you hear the crackling of his quirk going off, watch how the sheets beside him char and start to smoke in his intensity. He’s always so easy, you think to yourself with a little laugh as you began to get dressed, and you love it.
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whiskeyswifty · 10 days
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it's kind of crazy how she dropped all these songs like "yeah there's a really solid album in here somewhere, but you guys figure it out. I'm going to bed." i don't mean that in a mean way, it's just kind of crazy coming from someone who used to be so meticulous about curation and selection when assembling an album. not sure what to do with this observation, just kind of looking at it under my microscope like "huh...."
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citricacidprince · 7 months
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Thinking about Psychonauts and how much I love the Aquato family once again
They mean the world to me your honor
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#They are a strange little family with so many issues and generational trauma and YET they still LOVE EACHOTHER#DO YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT THAT IS TO ME???#Nona; Augustus; Donatella; Dion; Frazie; Rasputin; Mirtala; Queepie-#I love you all and I owe you my life#DION AND DONATELLA ESPECIALLY; Y’ALL GET SO MUCH HATE FOR HAVING UNDERSTANDABLE NEGATIVE EMOTIONS AND IT DRIVES ME UP THE WALL :(#Aquatos get behind me; I’ll protect you from the people who think you abuse Raz and should just get adopted by Sasha and Milla#that’s a bad take and they should feel bad. like; he can still see Sasha and Milla and alternate parental figures; that’s fine-#But Raz; CANONICALLY; would NEVER give up his family; EVER#That boy would force everyone to have a heart on heart with him until everything is better because he DOES that in the GAME#When you talk to you family in Psychonauts 2 you can tell how much he loves them and how much they love him; even if it’s strained at the-#moment from how stressful the past THREE DAYS have been#YES EVEN DION AND DONATELLA#They love Raz so much!!! They’re both just going through it™️ atm and need time to clear their head: remember; everything that has happened-#has been in the span of 3 DAYS and their whole lives have been completely flipped upside down#I think they’re allowed to be upset; in fact; it would be weird if they weren’t#sorry this is word garbage I just love that family so much it makes me wanna drink paint#prince rambles in this chilies tonight#aquato family#psychonauts aquatos#psychonauts 2#psychonauts
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A Timeline of Events in the Artemis Fowl Series
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If anyone's interested, I did do an actual analysis for where I pulled some of these dates from. But because I cannot type succinctly to save my life, it's 5,000 words long, so that's below the cut. I also put the timeline there again, but in three separate images, so hopefully they load well enough to be fully legible if the above isn't.
A thousand thanks to @sadbitchapologist and @zahnie for their help and advice with this, despite neither of them having any more than the barest interest in the series and therefore having no clue what I was on about. Thanks also to @orangerosebush for fielding completely out-of-the-blue questions about the French school system, so I didn't have to attempt to navigate web search results to figure out what mandatory gym classes were like for the sole purpose of plotting Luc's birthday on here.
An Analysis of the Timelines in the Artemis Fowl Series
A Brief Introduction
The Artemis Fowl series is made up of eight books covering a range of years and events. I wanted to see how accurate the timelines present in the books were, as well as try and plot out some other details implied in the novels but not explicitly stated, to have a better understanding of the overall world-building. To that end, I went through the series and made the above timeline. I colour-coded it based on the relevance of the specific items to certain categories, namely Humans, Fairies, Villains, and the Series itself. This does mean that some things could have fit into multiple categories. For instance, you will see some items involving Opal categorized as Fairy-Specific (such as her college years, as those are fairly neutral to the main plot or her villainy), Villain-Specific (such as her setting up her emergency fund, as that is mostly related to her schemes as opposed to relevant to her existence as a fairy, or part of the main plot of the series), and Plot-Specific (such as her opening the Berserker Gate, the primary plot point for the final book).
Before we really delve into things though, we should establish the baseline assumptions I was working with. Firstly, I am only using the original series. I have not used anything written in The Fowl Twins trilogy, given that those books seem to ret-con a considerable amount of the original information, and that is far too many headaches to give myself. Any supplemental series information, such as the short stories found in The Artemis Fowl Files, or anything from interviews is also not included. The premise here is: using just the original books, what is the event timeline of the world? The second thing we need to establish is that I am using the North American releases of the novels. I did make notes on where each bit of information comes from, but there isn’t really a citation style for this kind of thing, so I’m not sure how relevant that is. The third assumption is that the first book takes place the year it was originally published. According to my copy, the original publication was 2001, with the first American paperback edition coming out in 2002, and the first mass market paperback being released in 2003. This means our starting point is in 2001.
For sake of clarity, this analysis will start with setting the dates of the books and continue on from there.
The Basics of The Books
With that out of the way, let’s talk about the first book, Artemis Fowl (AF). It is actually not until the very end of the book that we get a solid answer for when it takes place. It’s only in the last few pages of the novel that Angeline Fowl leaves her attic room after all the plot points are tied up and announces that it is Christmas Day. This might be cause for concern – Angeline had not previously been established as a particularly reliable narrator – but given that we are asked to believe that Holly’s ‘feel better’ mood booster worked, and that neither Butler nor Artemis balk at or question the pronouncement that is Christmas Day, we’ll accept that it’s true and move on. This means that, with Butler’s earlier announcement that he was stuck doing four months of stakeout, we can say with a fair amount of certainty that Artemis obtained and translated the Fairy Book in September 2001, and managed to capture a fairy in December of the same year.
Moving on to Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident (TAI), we are given a decent chunk of information, albeit spread out a bit. The first is the announcement that the ransom drop for Artemis Fowl I is to be held on the fourteenth. The fourteenth of what, you might ask? Well, we are told that Artemis is currently thirteen years old. Clearly, things are past September 1, 2002 (we know Artemis’s birthday is September 1 based on information in both the fifth and seventh books). We are also told that Luc Carrere has been trading with the goblins for six months, starting in July. That puts us in either December or January, but we can narrow it down further since Artemis gives us another helpful clue. He mentions they are not expecting to see the dawn while attempting to rescue his father in the Arctic. There are only a few latitudes on Earth where polar night (of any type) occurs, and at Murmansk, polar twilight occurs between December 10 – January 2. Combining all of this, we learn that TAI takes place December 14, 2002, give or take a few days to either side.
This can be corroborated by information in Book 3, Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code (TEC). After Holly heals Artemis Senior, we are told that it takes over two months for him to wake up. Since we are specifically told two months, as opposed to two and a half or three, we can conclude that the events of TEC take place in March 2003. Mulch gives us some information that confirms this. He was living in LA “less than four months ago,” and since he was conscripted to help with the events of TAI in December, a March plotline fits the bill. We are given further confirmation as well: Spiro mentions that Artemis will be fourteen in six months. A specific date for Artemis & Co.’s attack on Spiro’s Needle can be pulled from the throw-away line that Pex and Chips are “burying” Mulch on the full moon. A quick web search tells us that the full moon in March of 2003 takes place on March 14, and the rest of the events in the novel take place roughly two days to either side of that.
In Artemis Fowl: The Opal Deception (TOD), the fourth book in the series, we are given several very clear indications of when the events take place. Firstly, Artemis is contemplating that at fourteen years and three months old, he is the youngest person to successfully obtain The Fairy Thief. Based on previously noted details that his birthday is in September, the events of TOD must take place in December of 2003. Additionally, we are told that things are the middle of winter and Opal has been in a coma for eleven months and counting as of the end of TAI, another December plot.
Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony (TLC) requires the most math and interpretation so far to figure out when it takes place. We know Artemis is still fourteen, so the main events clearly happen sometime between January 2004 and September 2004. Beyond that, we are using a fair amount of context clues. Artemis and Butler have evidently been traveling for four months looking for demons, so we are dealing with events in at least May. But that still leaves us several summertime months to work with, so to establish a timeline here, we will need to look forward a bit. In the sixth book, Artemis Fowl: The Time Paradox (TTP), it’s noted that Artemis is not yet fifteen, and has, on multiple occasions, spent the full moon in the study. Ergo, he’s spent at least a few months back from Hybras. If he has been back for two months and not yet turned fifteen, he would have had to have returned by July at the latest, and since he returns almost three years later than he leaves, we are looking at him returning in either May or June. This would have him disappearing to Hybras – and by extension, dealing with the earlier events in the book – in June, July, or August. After his conversation with Minerva, he notes to Butler that they “are planning a June wedding,” which wouldn’t make sense to say if they were currently in the month of June. From all of this, we can extrapolate that the first three-quarters of TLC take place in late July or early August 2004, with the triumphant return of our intrepid heroes occurring in June 2007.
As previously stated, TTP mentions that Artemis is still not fifteen, but is nearly there. He has also been home again for at least two months. This would put the events of the sixth book in August 2007. At least, the events set in the current time period. TTP does bring back time travel, and with it some problems. We are told that Artemis and Holly jump back nearly eight years to Artemis being ten and trying to fund searches for his missing father. This would put the events of the past in early 2000. However, other details presented regarding Artemis Senior’s disappearance, which we will discuss later, make that impossible. Artemis also admits, in TEC, that he was eleven when his father disappeared, not ten. If we take a bit of creative license with our interpretations and base the time-jump to the past on other presented information as opposed to the dates given in TTP, we can say that Holly and Artemis instead return to early 2001. This lines up with further details, such as the sinking of the Fowl Star (as calculated a few paragraphs down in this analysis) occurring in December of 2000, and the textual confirmation in TTP that it’s barely two months past that sinking when Artemis brokers the deal(s) regarding the silky sifaka lemur. Since, at the end of the day, the time jump impacts very little in the grand scheme of things, and the year 2001 actually fits in better with other textual evidence and events, that’s what I’m going with for this timeline.
The seventh book, Artemis Fowl: The Atlantis Complex (TAC) gives us a very helpful base point! It takes place on Artemis’s fifteenth birthday, September 1. From our previous results on setting dates for book events, that would be September 1, 2007. The sections in which Butler and Juliet are fighting mesmerized wrestling fans and meeting up with Mulch are noted in the novel as happening “the day before,” which would fall on August 31, 2007.
Artemis Fowl: The Last Guardian (TLG), the eighth and final book in the series, creates some problems. If we assume that Artemis starts receiving treatment for his Atlantis Complex immediately after diagnosis in TAC¸ that would put him receiving treatment in September 2007. We are told he is certified as cured after six months. Yet we are also told that the rest of the events of the book take place in the week or so leading up to the Christmas holidays. Everything so far has said that the Artemis Fowl series follows the current calendar, in which case there is no way that six months can fit between September 1, 2007 and December 25, 2007. However, the only reference to Christmas is in two lines noting that the Fowl parents were planning on holidaying with their children on a foreign beach. If we simply say that six months have passed, and they are instead planning on spending the Irish school system’s spring holidays in the French Riviera, everything else lines up much better. So that’s what I’ve done. This would also put the resurrection of Artemis, after the events of the book and a further six months have passed, at roughly September of 2008. There is a pleasing symmetry to Artemis being born and then re-born in September, though if you want to get really technical and say the events of TLG take place during the 2008 March full moon as Opal claims (as noted in another web search as March 28), a six-month wait time for the clone to grow would put the resurrection in October. Still, there is something to be said for having a boy’s ghost haunting a clone of himself close to All Hallows. Since it’s the last plot point of the series, you can choose which you’d like; it doesn’t have to lead to anything else after it.
Let’s Talk Timelines: The Beginning of the Line to The End of The 19th Century
Now that we have our baseline book time periods established, we can get into the math used to determine some of the events in the timeline above. Several events are easy; we are given specific dates for them. Turnball Root meets Leonor in 1938, Juliet wins the Miss Sugar Beet Fair beauty contest in 1999. Other things are based on some basic math, such as Artemis claiming his parents got married fourteen years prior to AF¸ putting that event in 1987.
The majority of the items on the above timeline, however, do take some mathematics, extrapolation, and interpretation to plot out. To try and keep everything organized, we’ll start at the far left of the timeline, and work our way forwards, looking at events oldest-to-newest to explain why they are where they are on the graph. I won’t be getting too in-depth on everything in the graph, since I’m not sure how relevant the notes on the very minor side characters such as Carla Frazetti are, but I’ll at least try to touch on some of the more relevant points.
To start with, the Battle of Taillte was noted in the 2000’s as being ten thousand years ago, putting that at 8000 BCE. Similarly, the last dome breach at Atlantis was apparently eight thousand years ago in the 2000’s, so that would be 6000 BCE. Troll sideshows were legal in the early middle ages, which implies they were not legal after that. A quick web search says the early middle ages ended around 1000. The first crusades were in 1096-1099, and as those crusades are the start point of the Butler-Fowl working relationship, a point for noting that comes next on the graph.
From there, we get into more modern – relatively speaking – events. Briar Cudgeon and Julius Root are noted as attending the LEP Academy together and being raised in the same tunnel, as well as having about 600 years of history together. If one assumes “being raised in the same tunnel” is similar to the human equivalent of “growing up in the same neighbourhood,” we can assume the two were born roughly 600 years ago, in the 1400’s. Vinyaya is portrayed as being of a similar age to Root, so her birth can also be put in the same general era. We are also told that Fowl Manor was originally a castle built in the fifteenth century, that in the early 2000’s the theories of timeline corruption were first introduced over five centuries ago, and that cloning has been banned for over five hundred years, so those three events are also tossed into the 1400’s.
Julius Root is noted as doing his LEP basic training 500 years ago in Ireland, so that would have to be in the 1500’s. He would have attended the Academy before then, putting that in the mid-to-late 1400’s. As previously stated, he was in the Academy with Cudgeon. Opal also met Cudgeon in college, and competed with Foaly for science prizes there, so they were all in school at the same time.
Mulch now enters the picture. We aren’t ever given a specific age range for him, but we are told about his career. He has, apparently, spent three centuries in and out of prison after a couple centuries of success as a thief. This would make him at least five hundred years old. There is a brief mention that he tried the athletic route at college before becoming a thief, so he would have to be an adult at that point, putting his age at roughly 550 years during the events of the series.
We then enter a period filled in from one-off lines throughout the series, presumably added to give some depth to the world. Things about the wine cellar at Fowl Manor being a seventeenth century addition, Captain Eusebius Fowl and his crew dying in the eighteenth century, and Mulch first faking his own death over two hundred years ago.
Time Marches On: The 20th Century
There is nothing of much relevance to linger on between the 1550’s and the 20th century, so we’ll jump ahead to the 1900’s, when we have Holly Short’s birthday. She is in her eighties during TLC, and her father died “over twenty years ago” when she was “barely sixty” as of TAI. Based on that, she would have been in her early eighties in 2002, putting her birthday sometime in the 1920’s. What a doll.
A few more birthdays now appear, and we’ll ignore, for the most part, some of the irrelevant ones. I don’t think we are at all concerned with Gaspard Paradizo’s birthday, or Mikhael Vassikin. We are, however, rather more interested in Jon Spiro, Domovoi Butler, and Artemis Fowl I.
Jon Spiro enters the series in TEC, as a middle-aged American. A quick search on the Internet says that middle age is generally noted as being between the ages of 40 to 60. We are told that Spiro has worked in three main industries over the past two and a half decades. Additionally, we are told that law enforcement has been “trying to put [him] away for thirty years.” If we assume he entered the working world at twenty, spent five years developing his professional self, and then started going down a path of questionable legality to get the police after him, that would put him at fifty-five in 2003, and born in the late 1940’s.
It was a bit easier to determine Domovoi Butler’s age, and we can get more specific with his actual birthday. We are told that he is forty at the start of TEC, and he is still forty during TOD. From that, we can assume his birthday is not between March – December, which means it has to be between January – March. Now, we can just leave things there, but contextually, Butler says in late March 2003 that “a lot of people know [him] as a forty-year old man.” Since I doubt he’s the kind of person who introduces himself by announcing that his birthday was last week, we can assume that his birthday is not in March. Since about half the books in the series take place in December, and there is never any mention of Butler’s birthday coming up soon, we can likely assume it isn’t in January. We can therefore conclude Butler was born in February, 40 years before 2003, which puts his birth year in 1963.
We then have Artemis Fowl I. This one took the most extrapolation to determine. We know he has run an ethical empire for a few years as of 2007, which coincides with his return to his family after being kidnapped by the Mafia. He apparently ran a successful criminal empire for two decades before that, though, so in 2007 he has been working for at least 25 years. Based on the interactions he had with his own son, I’ve assumed he was also taught to take over the family business from a young age. If he started working at his age of majority at 18 (as possible in the 1980’s in Ireland, based on a web search), we can assume he was born in roughly the mid 60’s.
Billy Kong, born Jonah Lee, is one to touch on. He plays a large role in TLC, during which we are given possibly the most backstory of any villain in the series. He was evidently born in the early 1970’s, and was eight years old in the early 1980’s. Mathematically, that can only lend itself to so many birth years, so it’s easy enough to put his birthdate somewhere in 1973, and his brother’s death date in 1981.
While we’re here, let’s talk about the 1980’s. A lot of things happen in the 80’s, so we’ll be here for a few paragraphs. Butler would have graduated Madam Ko’s Academy in the early ‘80s, Artemis I would have started working in his family’s business and stolen some warrior mummies (of note, the theft is only noted as being in Artemis Sr.’s “gangster days,” but if you are a young, rich criminal, you’d likely commit a wild theft in your early years as opposed to your thirties, which is why this is put in here). Additionally, in the mid 1980’s, Holly graduates the LEP Academy and her mother dies, as noted in TTP when she is contemplating missing three years of her friends lives.
Butler would have started his five-year stint in Russia with an espionage unit in the mid-to-late 80’s, and become a big brother in 1985. Juliet is noted at being four years older than Artemis in AF in 2001, and he is twelve then, making her sixteen at the time. We can extrapolate the month from TEC, wherein she is apparently eighteen when she is called regarding her brother’s apparent death. At the time, we are told what gifts she received for her birthday, implying it was fairly recent. Additionally, Artemis was only thirteen at that time, which would make Juliet five years older than Artemis. If, however, we trust that acolytes at Madam Ko’s start their training on their tenth birthday and get one chance to graduate per year, it would make sense for that one chance to be on their birthday, or within a day or two to allow for as much training time as possible. Since Juliet was in the midst of this one graduation evaluation when she gets the phone call and joins the crew for the March heist at Spiro’s Needle, she’d have to be born in March. (We can also corroborate this with some details from AF: if AF  takes place in mid-September, that would be just after Artemis’s birthday, which puts the 4-year age difference back into play.)
Spelltropy begins for the People in 1987, if it appeared 20 years ago from 2007. Artemis I and Angeline Fowl would get married in 1987. They would have their first child, Artemis Fowl II, in 1989, as calculated by Artemis being twelve during the initial siege of the Manor in December 2001. Artemis II’s grandfather was noted as having been dead for over ten years at that point, and it was mentioned in TEC that Angeline married her husband before he really took over the family business, so those events would likely happen when Artemis was but a baby in 1990.
The ‘90s are a period where a lot of things are happening, but few are particularly important. Spelltropy has a cure found, Minerva Paradizo is born, Juliet begins her bodyguard training and her brother refuses to let her shave her hair. These, and other events in the 90’s, are mostly calculated by math along the lines of “Event A happened X number of years ago,” but since the 90’s was mostly a time of worldbuilding events rather than plot events, we’ll just skim over the specific details.
‘You Are Here’: The 21st Century, and Where The Storytelling Begins
Welcome to the 2000’s! The kick-off point of not only the 2000’s, but also the entire series, is the sinking of the Fowl Star. We aren’t given a specific date for this, but we are given enough information to extrapolate the date. Specifically, in September 2001, in AF, we are told Fowl Sr. has been missing for almost a year. In TAI, in December, we are told he has been missing for almost two years. That does have the potential to have the ship go down in either December or January, so we need to use a bit more details from TAI to make a final determination. Mikhael Vassikin and Kamar were told to dump Fowl’s body in the Kola if he didn’t wake up in “another year,” so they’ve been looking after him for one at that point. Fowl Sr. wakes up two weeks before the deadline, and as noted earlier, the ransom drop for him takes place December 14, after he has been awake for perhaps a week. From that, we can tell that the deadline for “another year” was mid to late December, putting the initial sinking of the Fowl Star in late 2000.
The analysis gets a bit confusing at this point, because 2001 is when future Artemis and Holly join the party via time travel, as well as having their regular selves in the timestream. Essentially, we’ve established the timeline for the events of TTP above, so we know the whole lemur fiasco takes place in March 2001. Artemis wakes up at the end of that book thinking about fairies, which ties in rather neatly to him then dragging Butler across three continents for six false alarms (with an assumed approximate 3 weeks between each jaunt) before striking metaphorical gold in Ho Chi Minh City in September. During their time-traveling, Holly also gets a chance to talk to Root, who wonders why she isn’t in Hamburg, which was noted in AF as Holly’s first major failure as a Recon officer and was nearly preceding the events of AF. The time-traveling would also mean that Opal would have had to harvest her DNA for future diabolical plans before March 2001, when her younger self travels to the future. Since it takes up to two years to grow a clone to adulthood, and her clone has to be ready in September 2003, we are a few months off in the time requirements, but really, for a practice that’s been outlawed for 500 years, I can offer a bit of leeway.
We are now well and truly in the thick of the main events of the series. Most of this will be tied into the initial assessments we made way at the beginning of this essay, where we established when each book occurs. Because of this, we aren’t going to spend time on anything plot-related. However, a brief note on Turnball Root and Artemis’s Atlantis Complex is likely in order. Artemis was, as previously stated, dealing with his return from Hybras and the after-effects of stealing magic during July and August of 2007. His Atlantis Complex, and Turnball Root’s plan to escape the Deeps prison, are in full swing in September of that year. We have a brief note in TAC during the evacuation of Atlantis, that Turnball had, a month before, spied on Artemis and noted his Atlantis Complex developing. Therefore, Artemis’s Complex likely came into play in late July or early August 2007. This is close enough to Artemis’s magic theft to make sense for the deterioration of his mental health, and enough time for Butler to have started to notice something was wrong, as he did. We can therefore assume that Atlantis Complex, at least in the case of magic-stealing humans who have a propensity for time travel and getting involved in supremely complicated and improbable plots, develops relatively quickly.
This leaves just one major discussion point from the last few books: the age of Artemis’s twin brothers, Beckett and Myles. The twins are first introduced at the very end of TLC. They are written as being two during the events of TTP, three during the events of TAC, and four during the events of TLG. Regardless of the time-traveling shenanigans of their elder brother, it is impossible for the twins to age two years in the eight months between Artemis’s return from Hybras in June 2007 and the finale of the series in March of 2008, so we need to look at what makes sense.
Myles has already potty-trained himself, and done so at fourteen months, so they must be at least that old. Their other behaviours would make sense for them to be two in TTP. Diapers are still a part of their lives, and their language and vocabulary fit what a two-year-old would have, at least in Beckett’s case. Since Artemis was surprised by their existence, it doesn’t seem likely that  Angeline would have known she was pregnant, or at least not have told Artemis yet, when he went to Limbo. Ergo, they can’t be any older than two, since (one would hope) Artemis would have noticed his mother’s pregnancy if the twins were any older.
Additionally, in TLG, we know Artemis gave his brother a birthday present, so he had to have been around during the twin’s birthday at least once. With this fact, the twins cannot be born between March – June, which just leaves the question of when are the twins born?
 The most logical answer is February 2005. If Angeline was early on in her pregnancy, say six weeks (which is when most women start noticing symptoms), when Artemis disappeared in July 2004, she wouldn’t necessarily have told him yet. Then, if we assume that since most twin births occur around the 35-week mark, that would math out to having the twins be born in February of 2005. Fast forward, and they would turn one in February 2006, and two in February 2007, which puts them at the correct age for the events of TTP. [One could argue, of course, that a twin pregnancy in an older woman (unfortunately, there is nothing in the series to indicate Angeline’s age) and in a woman already dealing with significant stress could result in a very premature birth, thereby voiding any of this math and leaving the whole question of the twin’s birthday unanswered. However, since I’d rather not subject the Fowl parents to the strife and misery of having one son missing and presumed dead, and their younger children in the NICU with a low survival rate, I’m working with the assumption that the pregnancy was a healthy and normal one.]
The brief comment from Juliet in TAC about the twins being three can be passed off by them being a little over two-and-a-half and Juliet not being around as she is touring in Mexico. By the time TLG takes place, in March of 2008, the twins would have had their third birthday, allowing for Artemis to give Myles his chair as a birthday present, Beckett to be old enough to no longer need diapers, and the behaviours to act more like children than infants. While this doesn’t quite allow for the repeated textual confirmations in TLG that the twins are four, we’ll go with what mathematically makes sense.
That brings us to the end of the timeline! Not everything is touched on in the timeline, and not everything in the books is plotted (we are never given enough context to know Foaly’s or Opal’s birthdates, for instance). But the main events of the Artemis Fowl series are all analyzed, mathematically or logically or textually corroborated, and plotted out, for use or ignoring as personal preference dictates.
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batsight · 2 months
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Star Flower, loner, Medic of SkyClan
She/Her, cis bisexual
Mother: Turnip
Father: One Eye
Adoptive Father: Skystar
Siblings: Unnamed, all deceased.
Design notes:
-She is styled after the Pokemon, Ogerpon
-The plants are a physical part of her body. They grow out of her.
-She is the physical embodiment of The Blazing Star.
Story notes: [Abuse CW]
-She was born as a normal kitten to a traveling band of rogues who loved to trade and spread their music. Unfortunately, this band died out to a plague, one that nearly took her own life. Desperate to save his family, her father Carrot traveled to a set of tunnels in Sanctuary Lake rumored to house a reality-bending god. He asked the god for a cure, and the god asked for his eye in return. They made the exchange, and he retrieved a glowing, golden, five pointed flower. However, he was too late to save most of his family, so the entire cure went to his surviving kit. He wasn't expecting her to survive the night given her fragile state and the dubiousness of the exchange...
-But the next morning, she was perfectly fine- great, even. If a little... odd... were those buds growing on her paws...?
-It only got stranger from there. When Carrot ended up finding more cats suffering from the plague, just a few calming purrs from his kit seemed to have them ripe and ready to go the next morning. Carrot understood then what had happened- his kit had become the cure herself. And cats were starting to look towards them more, started begging for her healing, for anything. And Carrot had lost everything... wasn't it time to start winning stuff back?
-And so, the pair became One Eye and Star Flower, for recognition's sake. The two formed their own small group, filled with cats Star Flower had healed. Star Flower loved to spread her magic where she went, to save cats from the brink of death and be showered with their love and appreciation. They felt like they owed a great debt to her, and she enjoyed that.
-She was very close with her father, even if their relationship could be strained. One Eye loved her, but to an extent, he also used her. He grew arrogant in his success, believing he had become the accomplice to a god, and began to hold that over cats who fell sick. He grew desperate for control and Star Flower was his key to that.
-One day, however, her father's group encountered the early clans. They were just beginning to settle down, work out their new rules, and declare borders. But what caught the group's attention was the near murder of a young kittypet, almost mauled to death by proto-SkyClan's leader, Skystar. Unable to heal wounds with her magic, Star Flower managed to bring the cat to a twoleg, who took her away.
-Appalled by the cruelty, Star Flower took a great interest in Skystar's group, and witnessed several of his other crimes against his cats and the other groups. As did One Eye, who, seeing the early signs of a plague, had an idea to put this cat and the other leaders in their place.
-One Eye and Star Flower joined the group, with One Eye acting as a curious loner, flattering Skystar with praise. Skystar enjoyed his company, and so One Eye grew in the rank rather quickly. He also took a great interest in Star Flower and her abilities. After murdering Tom, who insulted the cats and attempted to attack them, One Eye took the chance to take control over the group, overpowering Skystar and using Star Flower's power to keep the remaining cats in line- everything is going to be okay, you'll get your cure... if you stay in line and do as One Eye says.
-This went on for a moon, of Star Flower holding her magic over the heads of her clients to keep their loyalty towards One Eye. She would be lying if she said she didn't feel pride at it all at helping her father.
-Ultimately, One Eye was overthrown and killed when Skystar came back with reinforcements from the other clans. The rest of the rogues they'd accumulated ran off, and suddenly, Star Flower was alone. She'd never been without her father, and running would mean abandoning his grave, which she didn't want. But... this place had been a home to her for some time now, and she needed a place to stay. SkyClan had taken all of the available territory in the area, anyways, and she was in no shape to brave the other territories or twolegplace. So she offered her power to SkyClan as a peace offering and asked for shelter in return.
-Skystar was still sore from the event, but he couldn't deny that having Star Flower as an asset would be beneficial to him in the long run. And around this point, his son Thunderstar had disowned him and split off ThunderClan from SkyClan. He felt that he was losing allies, losing family, and he latched on to desperate Star Flower very quickly- as a cat who would never disobey him.
-Skystar takes Star Flower under his wing as his new child, her new ward, instating her as a medic. And because she is loyal to a fault, she won't disobey a new leader so similar to her father. And so, he pushes her to do humiliating things in front of the camp, ranging from general chores like tick baths, to forcing her to run laps around camp with an injury if she took too long to work her magic. He would take out his frustration from gatherings on her and berate her over the most menial things. He would make her withhold her power to help anyone in the clan who had displeased him. And if Star Flower ever tried to stick up for herself, all he had to do was remind her of what she did, how she helped torment his cats by holding a cure over their heads to help out her father.
-This went on for years, Star Flower becoming more and more despondent. One night, there was a particularly stressful gathering, in which Skystar got into a territorial dispute with Thunderstar over a pack of dogs ravaging the territories. He lost the dispute, came home, and immediately took it out on Star Flower, shouting at and attacking the molly for "taking too much food she didn't deserve". And something in Star Flower finally snapped, and for the first time, she didn't save a life- she took one. And another. And another. As many as what remained in Skystar's soul. She was discovered taking his very last life in his nest, while she was wondering if she could pin it on the dogs. She escaped the camp, and wandered the territory for the rest of her life.
-Unfortunately, while she finally won against Skystar in the moment, it was history who decided the victor. Sparrowstar declared that they couldn't let a tragedy like this happen ever again, and doubled down on banishing rogues. Every rogue-born cat was looked at with suspicion from then on, and as the decades began to pass, Star Flower's story became twisted and bent. As the story is told, a rogue had infiltrated SkyClan's camp asking for help, but had manipulated and charmed the leader with her prowess and rose in the ranks just high enough to take him out and attempt to claim his spot. Her story was used as a cautionary tale against rogues, warning cats against those who would infiltrate the camp and rot it from the inside. Eventually, even her true name was lost to time...
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Rotten Flower, Warrior of The Dark Forest
Skystar didn't hesitate to throw her in the depth of the Dark Forest when she died. She wears her mask constantly, trying to keep away from the sickness of the muck. She's embraced the false myth made about her, claiming to have killed a founder for power and prestige. But in reality, it's been so long that she's forgotten her family, her power, her name. She barely even remembers Skystar himself. Though she's admired in the Dark Forest for her achievements, she doesn't hang around anyone, and acts hostile to those who approach her.
Perhaps someone can help her remember who she truly is...?
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snowflop · 3 months
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Starting to think computers are actually the work of a dark and twisted demonic force.
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skrunksthatwunk · 11 days
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why the fuck did i write about birds this fucking sucks. i just found out birds only sleep for a few minutes at a time, hundreds of times a day. do you know what this is going to do to my structure? the logistics of their road trip? this is already like three days late and i've been fighting for my life to get A Plot Like Any Plot That Makes Sense out and now the birds fucking sleep for 5 minutes at a time.
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#i should've just bailed and written another story when i had the chance#i'm not joking i've never fought a fiction piece this hard before. usually because i'm not writing for specific deadlines#and not a piece so big. and not one that's gonna be workshopped. i wanna blow them away but if things keep going the way they are everyone'#gonna tell me the pacing sucks and it feels pointless and the characters feel really confused. I KNOW. I KNOW THAT. FUCKK#i'm the type to do about 15 passes before i let someone see my 'first draft' and i'm just not gonna be able to do that if i want to get it#in time for a workshop. every day i delay is making things harder for my classmates y'know?? but i've been writing like 1k words a day#and it's still not done. GUHH#I DON'T LIKE WRITING THESE CHARACTERS THAT MUCH THEY'RE NOT FUNNY OR ENDEARING AND THAT'S MY LIKE.#MAIN SKILL AND VIBE WITH SHORT STORY DUOS. BUT NOOOO I HAD TO MAKE THEM DIFFERENT CUZ I WAS SICK OF DOING#THE SAME DYNAMIC OVER AND OVER. BITCH THIS IS YOUR FINAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TRIED AND TRUE GETS THE BLUE (RIBBON)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#head in my hands head in my hands head in my hands head in my hands head#going to work on it some more. fuckk#the voices aren't consistent and i'm trying to make it clear that this is toxic bird yuri and not a mother/daughter thing but the maternal#themes are kind of fucking with that but they're important and i don't wanna get rid of them but it feels forced cuz im forcing it#sigh. i'm gonna have to cut the yuri. these two don't work romantically at all. what a waste of time.#i watched the entirety of mnthly girls' nozaki-kun in the past two days while avoiding writing. did you know that? the lengths to which i'l#go? anyway it was fun i appreciate fellow creative agony and i uh never knew how they did screen tones and wasn't expecting that somehow#so i learned something new (hooray). anyway back to. fucking. bird story stuff#i'm so mad i hate these two (<- lying. just pissy) i hate this story (<- mostly exaggerating. throwing a tantrum)#eughhhhhh i just wanna lie on the floor and cryyyyyyyyyy (<- completely deadpan irl. not That upset just kind of sick of shit)#i'm so burnt out and it's only gonna get worse. ughh#why can't someone just come in and write it for meeeeeeeeeeheheuhhh (<- would hate that)
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lucielovekj · 9 days
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When I was in uni we had to do a presentation on an artist chosen from a provided list and I chose Mark Ryden and the lecturer who I presented it to laughed and asked mockingly why I would make the presentation pink because it’s extremely unprofessional and I was like you mean this guy?
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Why did I make a presentation on this guy pink???
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silenthillbunni · 2 months
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._.
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farfaras · 1 year
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steddie the type of couple to have an argument about the most trivial thing escalate until they’re both standing up and throwing their hands in the air, only to stop suddenly and grossly start making out with each other.
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lu-polls · 8 months
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very sorry everyone but i have no polls queued up atm as ive been a bit stressed as one of my little kitty cats isn’t doing so hot :(
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daveydavs · 5 months
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IM NORMAL IM NORMAL IM NORMAL IM-
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sonknuxadow · 10 months
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im so sorry for having opinions on sonic shipping and im not trying to like. pit the two pairings against eachother or start a ship war or whatever but based on whats actually there in the source material it really feels like sonic and knuckles were destined to be the big popular "default" gay pairing for sonic (the character) but then the timeline somehow got messed up and sonic and shadow were placed in that role instead
#maybe im just biased because i like sonknux more (to be clear i do like both i just have a preference) but like#sonic and knuckles interact more often than sonic and shadow. they have way more undeniably gay moments than sonic and shadow#sonic and shadow have a couple moments like that too but#90 percent of the time when people talk about how in love they are in certain scenes#its not actually that gay theyre just standing next to eachother and people just cant turn their shipping brains off#but with sonic and knuckles its like . knuckles blushes over sonic touching his shoulder#knuckles spends several nights in a row staring at the moon thinking about sonic and waiting for him to come home#whatever they had going on in sonic frontiers. Etc#i think part of the reason a lot of people ship sonic and shadow is because of the rivalry. but knuckles was sonics rival first?????#and the way some people talk about so/nadow makes me go ''well thats not shadow thats just knuckles in a shadow costume''#''its sonknux you want. what are you doing''#and ive even seen a bunch of people make the i love captains thing in sonic prime about son.adow?#while completely ignoring that that scene has nothing to do with shadow and was literally about knuckles??? idk its just weird to me#sonic carries knuckles multiple times and no one bats an eye#but shadow does it to sonic once and everyone goes wild about how gay they are. whats going on here#i dont think i actually wanna live in the timeline where sonknux is the most popular though. i like that people arent as annoying about it.
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airbenderedacted · 9 months
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So who’s your favorite character in Wander Over Yonder? And what’s your fav ship(s)?
Oh, I love playing this guessing game!! ♡ ~('▽^人) ✨
Favorite character? Well...
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[🎨📺]
As for ships, I wouldn't exactlyy say I ship anything in this show tbch, but I'd say I'm especially fond of Sylava, in a strictly fanon kinda way.
#Wander Over Yonder#Lord Dominator#woy is funny bc the core four are all so shippable but nothing rlly does it for me. i think nearly all possible pairs there have some charm#when considering *all five* of the mains not a whole lot changes bc dominator's a lesbian and sylvia is the only other main who isn't a dud#(i'm not a pr.o.shi.pper so bigoted type stuff grosses me out when it comes to shipping. we don't go there eugyhgfghhs)#tbcch i'm of the firm belief that lord dominator shouldnt be shipped with anyone in a srs sense. like as far as staying true to canon goes#she's made it extremely clear that she's not into that kinda stuff *and* that she's wAy too horrible for any kinda relationships anyway#but when it comes to lighthearted silly fanon stuff (or any degree of au stuff where *GASP* D isn't a demon & they Work) sylava makea me :)#(in whatever way ppl wanna imagine them. i'm partial to ''yes homo no romo'' qpr type goodness w/ them but i love seeing Everyone's takes!!#partially bc it's nice to see people actually. care. about what dom is and is not about (sexuality-wise). which is THE BARE MINIMUM but wel#a lot of people Do Not do that! sadly sexism and homophobia exist and it seeps into a lotta things in a lotta small ways and *sobs*#SO YEAH IT'S NICE TO SEE. NOT THAT. it's nice to see as a light shining through the darkness that is the internet & 2010s show fandoms sks#ah & partially bc sylava is like. literally the only ship ever kinda-sorta-teased in the show in a way that wasn't just played for jokes#which i think gives us neat things to work with when it comes to the whole ''what if'' kinda stuff- so!!! yea i just think it's neat :]#in both an ''in another life...'' not-so-hypothetical chemistry kinda way AND in an 'im a real stickler for Canon Goodness' kinda way too#haha#as for other ships i'm especially partial to... mmmmm.. 🤔#deathglare in the context of hater learning to cherish & appreciate peepers and treat him RIGHT makes me happy. i like that :)#and skeleton dance is always fun!!!! a real delight both on and off the screen hehah#most everything else makes me go ''oh cool. yea that's cute.'' 👍#ships involving minor characters are pretty take it or leave it. i dont think there's any i have any strong feelings about#except ig that it was pretty sweet when people were shipping lord hater & ripov. tbh i like how many ships people came up with w/ her#that was really swag. she was a fun character!!
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widevibratobitch · 6 months
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so i am singing that vitellia in the end... but at what fucking cost.
'you gotta sing this softer'
'what'
'this is mozart'
'this is vitellia'
'this is mozart'
'im singing about how much i hate this mf and want him dead before the end of the day'
'this is mozart'
'i wanna murder a guy'
'this is mozart'
'...'
'softer. gentle. mozart'
'...ok'
#they're killing me here#i already bargained for ONE (1) note in chest (thank you so so much that i am ALLOWED to sing an A3 in chest voice <333) and now THIS#THIS is why people hate mozart. fuck you.#i recorded that rehearsal and the first version sounds SO MUCH BETTER. after i did what she asked me to do its just. so fucking boring.#i hate it here#i love this duet so much but frfr im not sure i wanna do it if i have to do it on their terms.#also like sorry to be a bitch but you're a pianist girl. just stick to your stuff and let me take care of mine.#just because you're playing this like you're constipated because tHiS iS mOzArT doesnt mean the rest of us dont care either.#its possible i never will get the chance to sing the entire vitellia so i want to do justice. as much as im able. to this one chance i get#it took me A Long While to deal with the fact that i wont be able to bark that 'indegno' and 'regno' like i always envisioned.#but like. ok. whatever. i can still make it Entertaining. THIS however. no. no fucking way.#and its not even about me being a big-headed know-it-all who thinks she's better than everyone because. lol and lmao clearly im Not#but this is about having a fucking SOUL. its about actually taking the libretto into consideration too. its about trying to figure out#WHY mozart wrote it the way he did. like sorry but this is another fiordiligi case where its CLEAR that the amplitudes the crazy jumps#are there FOR A REASON. the reason is HE WANTED A CONTRAST. some fucking EMOTION. he sure as hell didnt want it to be Soft And Gentle.#i know it because i talked to him and he told me im right about everything as always and you can eat shit girl bye#grrrrrrrr im so angry#i knos i sound so arrogant here but please. please i just want to make this music fun and enjoyable. i just dont want it to be boring#please understand my vision im begging you
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