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katerinaaqu · 19 days

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Escape from Cyclops Island: Hubris

Okay a little something I promised to @wolfythewitch I was gonna post when discussing on a statue of Odysseus under the ram and this doodle Title says it all I believe! Hehehe

His heart was pounding somewhere in his throat so much that he felt he could spit it out at any moment now. He could swear he could hear the blood pumping behind his ear, almost making him deaf. He had to master all his self-control not to let his breath hiss down his throat and he felt cold sweat running across his face and back. He didn’t dare to make a sound even if the moans and groans of pain coming out of that detestable giant throat of the Cyclops were masking most of the other sounds except from the bleating of the flock. Polyphemus was still bleeding profoundly out of that crushed eyeball of his as he was stumbling across his cave, constantly making sounds of agony and on occasion he would angrily sway his arm around, dropping a load of stuff hanging from the walls or piled around. Odysseus was holding his breath every time one of those piles collapsed with tremendous sound and saw one of his men that were scattered about the room run for cover, barely missing being buried under the giant debris. He was at the end of his wits. That was the most difficult night they had so far and that spoke loads considering the terrifying week they passed in that secluded hole, watching their companions being consumed by the giant Cyclops. He was awake all night that was for sure ever since he had that idea to get the bastard drunk and pluck his eye out. It seemed a good idea at that time but of course even if he was mentally prepared for a difficult night, the actual thing was beyond terrifying; beyond his sickest expectations. On top of that he hadn’t calculated on the heightened senses of the Cyclops. He could hear a single needle drop! Yet alone them moving about! Therefore their whole night was nightmarish for they had to move about and avoid being stomped upon or being crushed every time the Cyclops couldn’t stay put and sleep while in pain among others while they themselves had to run about as soundlessly as possible.

Now even the Cyclops was exhausted and he was more lazily moving about but his pain was giving him strength and Odysseus still hadn’t figured out their way out! He knew the Cyclops was blind but now he could tell he had both acute sense of hearing and smell! They wouldn’t easily get past him! During the whole nightly and deadly play of hide-and-seek and chase, Odysseus was still trying to figure out a way out of the situation. They would have only one chance for there wouldn’t survive another day in that cave and their comrades were in danger too! Not only were there more of this monster around but even Polyphemus himself might as well stumble across their ships. Or their comrades would come looking for them and either get past him or get crushed by the others. Odysseus had given them orders to wait about a week. That day was getting dangerously close to come and they were still trapped! Polyphemus dropped yet another huge stack of grapes. His comrade Alcimos left a yelp of surprise as he was nearly crushed. Odysseus felt all his nerves tensing feeling Polyphemus look at that direction!

“So this is where you’re hiding?” Polyphemus moaned in his unworldly voice

He swung his arm barely missing his poor comrade and crushed at a stone wall behind. The silence that followed the tremendous sound was deafening.

“Shit!” he mumbled barely audibly

Odysseus picked a pebble up and threw it with all his might to the corner of the other direction. The dry sound echoed in the stone chamber and luckily drew the attention of their predator. Odysseus made a haste, almost panicking, move with his hand, urging his friend to run. As soundlessly as possible his terrified comrade obeyed. Odysseus eyed Eurylochus. He was as pale as a sheet, probably all of them were. Odysseus through another stone at another corner.

“Is that you there, Nobody?!” Polychemus growled swinging his huge arms again, “You won’t get away from me! You’ll pay for what you’ve done!”

Odysseus hopped over to Eurylochus’s part as quietly as he could, practically crawling on all fours towards his direction, and patted his back.

“Captain…what are we going to do?” Eurylochus whispered (well it was more mouthing like whispering)

“I don’t know!” Odysseus replied in a similar manner

“We’re trapped! There’s no way out of here!”

“I’m thinking! I’m thinking!”

He nearly banged his head with his fists. Fear and lack of sleep were blocking his logical thinking.

“Think, you fool!” he urged himself, “Think! Think! There must be a way to run past him! Think! Think!”

Upon yet another rumbling of one of his comrades swiftly changing position to avoid the giant foot of the Cyclops, Odysseus threw another stone, this time to the wall above the sheep, causing the animals to agitate and bleat together. He hoped their noise would cover their clumsy attempts to change position. That didn’t pass unnoticed by Polyphemus.

“Is that where you’re hiding?” He groaned again, “among my sheep? You hope to walk past me inside my own flock?”

Yeah, the thought did cross my mind, Odysseus thought. In fact that was the initial plan; to wait for Polyphemus to open his cave and then they would run among the sheep that would come out and hope for the best. Odysseus was not sure if it would work anymore. Apparently he was right for the Cyclops confirmed his fear by laughing in his pain.

“You are a fool, Nobody! Do you think you can run past me so easily?! I will smell and feel you! I will sit here and make sure no one passes through me!”

Stumbling his way towards the cave’s entrance, he sat himself to the corner, to make his point. The message was clear. He would feel his way across the flock. Well, there goes my plan! Odysseus thought.

“Shit!” he cussed once more

Dawn was getting dangerously close. He was running out of time to find a solution. Would they run past him anyways? Improbable. Stay in yet another day and hope to somehow dig themselves out of it? Impossible. Would they, perhaps, wait for the nightfall when the flock would be coming in so they would run out as Polyphemus would be busy taking his sheep in? It could work but for once seemed as risky as their initial plan of escape and two he knew they were running out of time. Not only would their small search party arrive and compromise his lie that they were alone, revealing his identity too that he had tried to conceal, but also his men were at the point of breaking. He doubted they would last yet another full day in the cave waiting for their possible death. Not to mention hunger and fatigue had started taking their toll on them all.

“You will not get past me, Nobody!” Polyphemus threatened again

Apparently, though, they weren’t the only ones exhausted by their nightly chase and hide-and-seek game. Polyphemus groaned one last time in pain (potentially the wine he had so carelessly chugged down was not out of his system yet) and his head fell to the side and fell asleep. That gives us a few hours window, Odysseus thought. He didn’t have time to lose.

“Captain!” Eurylochus urged him again as loudly as he dared, “We must do something!”

“Sh!” Odysseus harshly shushed him, “I need to think!”

“Think!” he urged himself again, “You must think! Your life depends on it! Yours and your men’s! Think! What should we do!? Sheep…among the sheep…no we can’t do that now…but still… No, go back to the original idea! No time for more complicated plans! Do not fill your brain with unnecessary thoughts, you fool! Think! Back to the basics…the sheep… We can hide among the sheep…”

He gazed over at the flock. He noticed indeed it was an impressive flock. If they weren’t in such a position he might as well admire how well-kept they were! He noticed then the rams. Yes, sheep rams and goats he knew. He had plenty of flocks under his supervision in Ithaca. He noticed this good breed of rams among the white sheep. The rams were big, strong and black like violet flowers; were easily distinguishable among the rest. Yeah, these animals would make even the princes of Troy feeling envious. Suddenly his mind tingled. His hand cupped his chin, feeling the curly hair of his beard. Suddenly the light bleating of sheep and the snoring of the despicable Cyclops were not bothering him anymore. In fact, they were making the cogs in his brain move faster.

“Sheep…we can hide among the sheep… Troy…the trick that saved us from Troy… The sheep…in the sheep…no, no, no! Not in the sheep…among them…to get under his feet…wait…under…under…! That’s it!” he snapped his fingers in realization (drawing the attention of Eurylochus no less)

If it worked he would have to congratulate himself, he thought. If this didn’t work then nothing would! Just to be safe, he through another rock at the sheep, hoping the familiar sound would keep the Cyclops lulled in his sleep and clapped his hands twice as loudly as he dared, drawing the attention of his other companions. With frantic moves he pointed at them the flock, urging them to follow him in the pen. Luckily they got his meaning and ran there. Odysseus ran as fast and soundlessly as he could to the pile of withes that Polyphemus used as his bed and grasped some strong twisted ones from them. Joining his comrades he once more signaled to the sheep pointing upwards and then patted his stomach. He didn’t dare to speak a word. He didn’t know if the Cyclops would wake up and certainly his plan wouldn’t be ruined otherwise nothing would save them. It took his comrades two minutes to understand what he meant but thank the gods they did. He grabbed three-three the rams by their horns (thanking all the gods that this creature had no shepherd dogs to guard his flock!) and tied them together and then helped each and every one of his comrades under them. He left Eurylochus for last.

“Captain…h-how…a-are you…”

“Sh!” Odysseus urged again in a whisper, “Trust me”

He certainly sounded more confident than what he felt but Eurylochus didn’t need to know that. Helping his brother-n-law to be tied as well he looked around. There was only one ram left and it was the biggest and the best Polyphemus had in his flock. He knew that ram; it was Polyphemus’s favorite. He remembered seeing their tormentor caressing it and taking care of it. He glared daggers towards the direction of Polyphemus; fists clenching almost to the point of his nails digging in his flesh. All his accumulated anger was bubbling ready to explode. He had to use all his self control not to be lost in it. He went to the ram and grasped its thick fleece with all his might. There he remained taking breaths to calm himself. His body was practically drenched in cold sweat. He prayed to all the gods he knew that his plan would work. The last minutes till dawn passed like eons as he noticed the rosy color of dawn entering through the openings of the cave.

“This is it…” he thought, “The moment of truth”

The monster he so wished he could kill right now, slowly began to wake up. Like clockwork; like the very beasts of nature! He noticed him moaning and groaning in agony still.

“Yes!” Odysseus thought maliciously, “Suffer the pain of my men! Suffer like you should, you beast! Burn and drown in your blood for all I care, unholy creature!”

He saw the Cyclops slowly opening the heavy rock. The fresh air hit him directly on the face as well as the warm light of dawn. Yes! Just a little longer! Polyphemus groaned again in pain and whistled for the sheep to come out. He felt the sheep he was under moving but the movements were much slower than what he remembered. He knew it was because now he had him too weighting it down apart from its own thick fleece. As he suspected, Polyphemus began feeling his way through the flock, touching the backs of his sheep, counting and lurking for his victims to cross! Odysseus literally held his breath when his first comrade was to come through. Polyphemus’s hand touched the sheep. Odysseus prayed to all gods that his comrade would hold his fear back and manage to go through. Polyphemus felt his way over and…he let the rams pass! The Man of Many Torments let out a small sigh of relief. He secretly congratulated himself for tying three rams together. His comrade in the middle was protected from both sides. The second passed the same through. He felt a smirk almost play at the corner of his lips as if he was trying to calm his own heart; stop his own sweat from making his palms slippery and nearly falling off his own salvation.

“Fool!” he thought triumphantly for one second, “You foolish beast! You thought you could catch me! No I will not be caught and devoured by you, Cyclops! Never! Their deaths weren’t in vain, Cyclops!”

Despite his resolve and wild triumph that was making his chest nearly breaking by the way his heart was pounding against it, Odysseus of Ithaca felt ready to have a heart attack as his own turn had come. Once again he nearly fell off but he bravely held his pace. He then heard Polyphemus speak (his view was blocked by the ram’s thick fleece).

“How strange that you come last, my dearest ram!” Polyphemus cooed at it, “You usually are the first to run out and lead all my flock to the open air to graze upon the grass…and by the night you run first back to get into your warm home… Is it because you are sad for your master, my dear ram? Because that puny man, Nobody, took away sight with his evil trick when he clouded his mind with wine? Is that it?”

Sweat was running like a river on Odysseus’s face as his heart was speeding twice as fast as a normal human would! His head was feeling light from hanging upside down for too long as well and his arms were getting tired. If anything was holding him back was his rage that gave him almost inhuman strength as well as his need to survive this.

“So you show no compassion to my men, to any of us that begged your hospitality and yet you speak on this animal as if it is the most important thing! Curse you, beast! Remain blind now for the rest of your life!”

His heart nearly stopped as the huge, sinister hand cupped the back of the large ram and gave it an affectionate pet. He felt that those huge fingers nearly touched his palms! And yet Cyclops didn’t investigate any further. His chest was moving violently up and down sucking oxygen like no tomorrow as he finally breathed again. And then he smelt the fresh air around him. He was outside! Finally! Finally they went outside! He barely held himself not to run immediately. He gazed behind his back, seeing Polyphemus slowly moving with his arms extended trying to find his way blind to the downhill path.

“Now!” he thought

He immediately let go of the ram and ran as fast as his feet allowed him to, cutting the binds of his men with his knife.

“COME ON!” He called to them, “GO GO GO! Grab the sheep and go! Run!”

Cyclops gasped as the stomping of men, Odysseus’s cries and bleating of sheep reached his ears. How?! How had they managed to…? Odysseus freeing the last man yelled at his second-in-command;

“Eurylochus! Run back to the ships! Give order to start! Go! NOW!”

Eurylochus didn’t need to be told a second time. As if his feet grew the winged sandals of Hermes he ran with all his might downhill. The small bay with their ships of salvation came to sight….

Polites was organizing the crew the best he could. It was already the seventh day ever since their comrades and captain had left the bay in search for hospitality. He knew he would have to organize the search party that day. What would it be the right course? What if they were too late?

“-…OLITES!”

He raised his head from his work at the distant sound of that voice. No soon after he saw the figures of Eurylochus and a few of their comrades running like all demons of Tartarus were after them. They were carrying huge sheep on their shoulders which were slowing them down while leading some more with them.

“POLITES!” Eurylochus was heard clearly now, “PREPARE THE DEPARTURE! HOIST THE SAILS!”

“What?” Polites asked in wonder but then he saw from afar a huge figure

It didn’t need intelligence to realize what it was.

“Oh crap!” he cursed himself “HOIST THE SAILS!” He transferred the order, “ALL HANDS ON DECK!”

Hands and feet frantically began working, abandoning literally anything they might have been doing, any sort of provisions they have laid down upon the beach and jumped in the water to climb the ships; ropes were loosened, sails were opened and anchors were pulled up as fast as their human hands could manage. Their comrades joined them soon after.

“GO GO GO!” Eurylochus yelled, climbing up the ship dripping water from the beach and helping the others up

“Wait! What about the others?”

“THERE ARE NO OTHERS POLITES! PREPARE FOR DEPARTURE!”

“Where is Odysseus?”

They both turned towards the dreadful sight; Odysseus was running as fast as his feet could take him (and that was fast enough) among the sheep of Polyphemus. Behind him the dark, sinister and huge figure of the Cyclops was catching up slowly because of size alone.

“Captain!” Eurylochus yelled, “Quickly! Hurry!”

Breath hissing in his throat and heart hammering against his ribcage Odysseus was running like Charon himself was after him. Around him the sheep of Polyphemus were also scared from the commotion.

“NOBODY!”

He stopped to look back at Cyclops that was after him, slowly yet steadily gaining ground. Something in his mind snapped that moment. He looked at the ram that was the source of his salvation. His original plan was to take it with him but he knew he could not carry it. He could only see red at the realization. He drew his sharp sword and grabbed the ram by the horns, eyeing the beast he hated with flaming eyes of obsidian.

“That is for my men!” He said threateningly

And then his sword cut through the tender neck of the ram, rich in fat and blood. The ram bleated desperately as it chocked to its own blood.

“NOOOO!” Polyphemus yelled woefully

He didn’t need to be smart to know what Odysseus had done. The king of Ithaca didn’t stop to enjoy the pain of his opponent. He ran to the edge of the rock and threw himself in the sea before swimming frantically towards his ship where his men helped him up immediately on their way out of the bay. Breathing heavily he looked around and all his comrades were rejoicing to see them fine!

“Captain!” Polites called out, “Thank gods you are alive! What happened! Where are the others?”

Odysseus’s eyes darkened.

“Gone…” he croaked out, clenched feast trembling “That…that beast ate them!”

His comrades let out cries of mourning as they covered their heads with their cloths in lament. It was the second loss they were suffering outside of war ever since Thrace and the way was beyond comprehension… Odysseus saw his men lamenting, even those who were now rowing for their lives. Something snapped inside him. He turned around towards the shore, for they had gained a fair distance; brought his both hands around his mouth and yelled with all his might;

“CYCLOPS! HAY, CYCLOPS! I’M HERE!”

“What are you doing?!” Eurylochus croaked out shocked

However Odysseus was beyond himself.

“Looks like it wasn’t just a common man the one you decided to devour his companions! Looks like it was no weakling as you thought!” he mocked him, “You should have thought twice before you had the audacity to devour your guests in your own home! This is why Zeus took the sight away from you!”

Polyphemus growled in anger. He grasped a huge boulder from the rock next to him and threw it towards the direction of the voice. The boulder splashed loudly into the water, shaking the men off their feet and showering them with water. The wave pushed the ship close to the shore, almost hitting the rocks. Odysseus rushed to the pole of the steer and pulled with all his might, narrowly escaping the howl crushing against the sharp protrusions. His head moved urging his men to run to their positions at the oars.

“ROW MEN! ROW!” he ordered, “Full speed ahead!”

They didn’t need to be told twice! Their calloused from war and sea hands grabbed upon the oars like their souls resided in them, rowing with all their might at the orders and rhythm provided by Eurylochus and the rest of the captains. Odysseus laughed loudly almost like a madman seeing the distance they covered.

“YOU MISSED!” He mocked him again, “CYCLOPS! I’M STILL HERE!”

“What are you doing!?” one of the men called out in panic, “You reckless man! Stop provoking him! You will kill us all!”

His men indeed seemed to be coming to pat him on the back, stop him from performing this madness as some more boulders barely let their ships untouched.

“Captain! That’s enough! Please!” Eurylochus urged

“CYCLOPS! HAY! WHAT’S THE MATTER!” Odysseus ignored them “YOUR STRENGTH LEFT YOU!?” he yelled as he was practically held by them as he rushed to the edge of the ship to yell to his opponent with all the strength of his lungs

“CAPTAIN!” now Eurylochus yelled, “Have you lost your damned mind?! Stop this!”

Fists clenched and shaking, no, rather his entire body was shaking as Odysseus rushed to the edge and almost hanged himself from there, as if trying to ease some distance between himself and the shore.

“Captain don’t-!”

“CYCLOPS!” he yelled on top of his lungs, “IF ANYONE ASKS YOU WHO TOOK YOUR SIGHT TELL THEM IT WAS ODYSSEUS THE SACKER OF CITIES, THE SON OF LAËRTES FROM ITHACA THAT DID IT! DO YOU HEAR ME!?”

“Odysseus!” Polites now urged grabbing hold of him as if he was afraid that he had lost his mind

And in one way he was right. Face all red from fury and nostrils flattering in his breathing, Odysseus was no different than a madman indeed. The cry of desperation he heard from Cyclops and the way his arms flew in the air was balsam in his soul. His enemy’s pain and distress was as addictive as the triumph over this opponent!

“ALAS! It was prophesized for me by Telemus that Odysseus would make me blind!” he cried, “But I hoped for a battle! For a worthy opponent! Not this short WEAKLING who clouded my mind with wine to do it! But my father, Poseidon will heal me, Nobody! YOU HEAR ME!?”

He threw another bolder in anger but this time Odysseus was way out of range. The bolder landed in the water several meters behind any ship that belonged to the king of Ithaca. Odysseus’s mocking laughter echoed once more.

“COWARD!” Polyphemus called upon from his isle, “Come back and fight me like a man, you weakling! Come back so you can have the gifts you so wished for! Come back to have the handsome ransoms my father Poseidon would have for me!”

Odysseus roared angrily, beyond all reason, banging is fist against the hull of the ship, practically breaking free from Polites’s grip.

“IF ONLY I HAD YOU UNDER MY SWORD NOW!” he yelled, “I WOULD TAKE YOUR LIFE! I WOULD STEAL YOUR LIFE LIKE YOU TOOK MY MEN FROM ME! AND NOT EVEN YOUR MIGHTY FATHER POSEIDON WOULD BE ABLE TO PUT YOU TOGETHER AND HEAL YOUR EYE! YOU HEAR ME! I’D KILL YOU!”

He had no idea he could yell so loudly or so long. He had no idea he would lose his mind that day but he just had to release all the accumulated anger he carried in all these days; all the horror and fury.

“DO YOU HEAR ME?! I’D KILL YOU! I’D KILL YOU! I’D KILL YOU!”

“Odysseus!” Polites was heard again

The king of Ithaca was breathing heavily like wounded. His throat almost completely aggravated from his desperate yelling. His chest seemed on fire as well. But that moment of silence after the madness was enough to hear the Cyclops from a distance. He raised his arms towards the heavens and cried out;

“Oh, Poseidon! If I am your son and you wish to call yourself my father, make sure that Odysseus the Sacker of Cities from Ithaca shall never see his land again! But if he is fated to set a foot again to his ancestral home, let it be alone, may all his companions perish and he shall arrive to his land stranger upon a foreign ship and meet only misery in his halls!”

At the sound of that terrible curse, the men on his boat nearly scratched their faces in lament and moaned in terror.

“Gods! We’re cursed!” one called out

“Gods, why!” one other cried, “Right after Troy!”

And then Odysseus gasped. The word rang in his mind like a bell, snapping him out of his previous rampage…freezing him solid almost instantaneously.

“Gods…!” he whispered in terror, “What did I do!”

His previous hypertension turned into a frozen, delirious state. He almost fell limb to the arms of Polites; eyes hollow and fixated upon nothingness; upon some imaginary thing on the planks beneath him.

“What did I do!”

“Odysseus?” Polites whispered alarmed, “Odysseus!”

“What did I do! What did I do!” it was all his captain was whispering

He knew then…he knew the price was too great and he could not pay it!

What did I do what did I do what did I do what did I do what did I do…

~*~*~*~

Based on the 6th rhapsody of the Odyssey this is another one-shot!

Dunno why I imagined how literaly nerve-breaking the whole process would be and how these men would be inside that cave waiting for dawn to come so I kinda went for that! Plus I wanted to explain the emotional accumulation inside Odysseus that led him to make the greatest mistake in his life!

Dunno why I made him kill Polyphemus's favorite ram! I imagined that if a ram alone is enough to lift him up then he wouldn't be able to carry it so I imagined Odysseus would want to hurt Polyphemus for what he did to his men and this idea of a more cruel act by Odysseus was given!

The escape scene was also heavily inspired by the Sinbad The Legend of The Seven Seas scene of the giant fish!

And of course you can see my analysis upon my theories on Curse of Polyphemus

My analysis about Odysseus wanting to hurt Polyphemus and enjoying the pain he inflicted him can be seen here

I hope you guys like it! Sorry it is like 5 in the morning now! Hehehe

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katerinaaqu · 1 month

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I feel like I lost quite a few of my dear readers and commenters ever since I started openly not being a fan of Epic the Musical here. Although it saddens me to depart ways with many good people I understand that our lack of this common interest played its part.

I still encourage people to come and comment on my work or write their reblogs at them or my posts dedicated to my collaboration with my amazing friend @artsofmetamoor expressing their opinions, sending me their questions or sharing their disagreements so we can have a conversation

But bear in mind that when my mythology work is concerned it is based exclusively on ancient sources particularly the homeric poems and not the musical or any other modern adaptation unless I mention that to my afternotes.

Thanks for the understanding 🙏

#collab with artsofmetamoor #the odyssey #tagamemnon #greek mythology #katerinaaqu writes #iliad fanfic #greek mythology fanfiction #iliad fanfiction #the odyssey fanfiction #odyssey fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #w.i.t.c.h.#meridian #metamoor #odyssey #homeric poems #odysseus

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katerinaaqu · 5 months

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Survivor's Guilt and Survior's Duty (P3 + After Note)

Continuation from Part 2:

Swift fingers were moving constantly through golden thread, mixing the different shades perfectly. The hands were moving to and fro as the humming of the sweet song kept on interrupting the rhythmical sound of wood against wood as the tapestry was slowly gaining shape in the loom. It was the skillful fingers of an ancient being beautiful like spring and deadly like winter that was weaving this. Somewhere among the sea of gold and crimson there was a pair of threads that didn’t match in color or texture.

One jet black

And one silver white…

Odysseus slowly opened his bruised eyes and he wished he hadn’t. He barely opened them a tiny bit and he shut them closed once more as his sight was mercilessly attacked by the brightness of the white grotto. His stomach was turning and he felt like throwing up everything he ever had eaten in his life and his head was turning around as if someone was spinning him at a whirlpool. He moaned holding his head with both hands, slowly rolling to the side. The headache and dizziness were pounding him relentlessly.

“Gods…my head…” he thought hoping the nausea would leave him alone

The events of the night before were also present in his mind and the embarrassment didn’t help his condition at all. He had drunk himself to the point of oblivion that much he knew. Normally he should know his limitations but he was unable to refuse the goddess who was filling his cup. Once he dared to look around (and of course seeing everything moving around him) he spotted a goblet next to the bed containing a bubbling liquid. Odysseus eyed him more suspiciously than what he would originally have wished to.

“Well…that was awfully organized…” he thought again

Either way downing the drink seemed to help a lot with his unsettled stomach although not spectacularly with his dizziness. The first thing he noticed was that Calypso was not working in her usual spot. That’s odd, he thought, but then he fathomed she wouldn’t sit around and sleep or work by the side of a severely drunk human especially given the whatever the heck would turn out to look like the day after! He moaned once more as he forced himself, excruciatingly slowly to sit up on the bed and place his feet on the floor.

“Gods…never again…” he mumbled holding another gag back.

But it was true that Calypso’s potion was working wonders although he needed at least a couple of more minutes to stand up and start practically staggering until he reached a wall to support himself and walk out, possibly hoping some fresh air would do him good. As he walked down the grotto to his best abilities he surely was wondering how the hell he managed to get so drunk even with the goddess practically encouraging him. He should know better than that. Stopping at a sudden wave of dizziness he sighed and wiped some sweat off his face.

“Alright, Odysseus…no more wine for you…” he mumbled to himself, “…you clearly are not mature enough…”

Beneath his layers of self-sarcasm, though, he did feel like he had embarrassed himself before the goddess. Not only had he drunk himself to stupor; true it was Calypso the one to keep serving him but perhaps she didn’t know the human limitations to drinking. Perhaps she overestimated his tolerance or perhaps… (Odysseus always had one random ominous thought to the back of his head but he always chose to dismiss it, especially now that he needed all help he could get from some god given that he already had half the pantheon chasing after him!), but he also cried like a baby, opening up things he never wished to share in the first place, yet alone in front of an immortal goddess and her immortal nymph entourage. His situation was already bad enough; he was a beggar without anything to offer to the goddess; he didn’t need to be seen as an uncontrollable drunk as well. And this goddess somehow gave a different energy than Circe (and by gods wasn’t that experience scary enough).

He found Calypso lazily laying upon her sofa as her maids were attending the room. His heart was clenched by an unpleasant feeling once more but he dismissed it as his natural aversion towards the fear against the divine. Not to mention he was still feeling ashamed as he couldn’t be more. Calypso sensed his presence and smiled almost maternally at him.

“Good morning, Odysseus” her melodic voice reached his ears. “I am glad to see you up”

“That is a way to put it, goddess…” Odysseus mumbled as he was practically assisted by the maids to sit on the couch opposite her

His dizziness was still awful but he felt better already.

“My throat is dry…” he admitted, “Could I perhaps…have some water?”

Calypso smirked.

“Bring him some water” she ordered

As the cup was given to Odysseus he basically drained it, feeling the cool liquid settling down.

“Blessed you be, goddess…” he whispered again, “And thank you for your treatment. It worked wonders”

“I am glad” Calypso said with her usual feline smile. “I would hate to see you struggle with nausea”

Odysseus drew a deep breath to calm himself a bit. Calypso once more observed him and her heart was flattering. She discreetly tasted her lips imagining that chest moving up and down with his breathing. She looked upon that man that was now monopolizing her dreams and fantasies stand there in the light; his hair appearing almost auburn as sunlight was showering them. He was looking at her and if she hadn’t noticed his eyes shining with intelligence and wisdom she would have sworn he was a simpleton till he would start to speak. Odysseus was a man full of contradictions; darkness and light, quick wits and aloof thinking, braveness and fear…strength and weakness…

“Goddess…I…” he started, “In regards to the events of last night…forgive me I shouldn’t have broken down like this…”

Calypso congratulated herself deep inside for holding herself back. She was right and indeed Odysseus could remember everything clearly from the night before. It would have ruined everything if she had advanced onto Odysseus while he was vulnerable.

“Why not?” Calypso asked airily. “I am glad you decided to open up with me. I am just sad you had to get drunk you let yourself go and trust me”

Odysseus winced at the reminder. Yeah, that was the last thing he needed to be reminded of… As if reading his thoughts, Calypso spoke again;

“Don’t worry too much, darling. I myself actually drank more than what I intended, last night,” the half-lie came easy to her lips, “You are a very pleasant company, Odysseus. One can forget himself when they are with you!”

“Me?” Odysseus asked in disbelief, “Hardly, goddess…hardly…”

He sighed, rubbing his nape nervously.

“I just...didn’t want to burden you with my troubles…”

“Odysseus…” Calypso said sincerely, “You are never a burden… I really want to help you… Not as a goddess, as a friend, I am glad you took some of that weight off your chest”

And then she took a bold step, more to herself than anything, and placed her hand on his. She felt him tense at the sudden contact while she felt his mortal flesh beneath her hand and she almost lost control of her emotions but her face was kept stone calm.

“Don’t you ever, ever apologize for your emotions, Odysseus,” she said sincerely, “It is what makes you mortals and us immortals similar…”

She felt him almost drawing his hand back or at least she felt his muscles signaling for him to do so, as he looked at her with those eyes that hid so much wisdom that indeed made her wonder what kind of mortal person has so much in their mind. She drew back and leaned on her couch again, casually.

“Oh, yes” she said, “Even us gods have feelings, Odysseus, our own torments. You may say that ours are sometimes more unbearable since we have to live with them for all eternity. We have no way of escaping them. One can see that from this very island too. This little paradise that is so left alone from the world…sometimes loneliness is so much to bear Odysseus…so much…”

Odysseus raised his brows. Suddenly the immortal nymph Calypso seemed almost…vulnerable. He saw her honey eyes reflect genuine pain and sorrow, sadness and isolation. He felt somehow stupefied for a second to react. How can someone consol a god?

“I…I understand, beautiful Calypso…” he whispered, “It is piercing the bones of any person to be isolated…”

“Yes, you do understand, don’t you?” Calypso eyed him, “You were a gift to me, Odysseus. It was the first time in hundreds of years that I felt someone actually connecting to this sorrow; the first time I felt someone truly understands loneliness as I do…”

Odysseus suddenly felt uncomfortable. He didn’t know where this conversation was heading to but it seemed like it was about to take a turn that he wouldn’t really wish it to. And apparently he was right for Calypso held his calloused hand in both of hers; caressing his fingers with her delicate, unnaturally smooth ones.

“Why don’t you stay here with me, Odysseus?” Calypso whispered

Her tone resembled a little girl talking to her first crush. It felt so unnatural to Odysseus that the goddess that nursed him back to health, the goddess that always kept a maternal visage now she was talking to him like he was an eternal god and she a young maiden trying to keep him with her.

“Stay…” Calypso repeated, “You understand how I feel and I understand you. You could live a happy life here; free from all the sorrows and this mortal coil. You wouldn’t need to worry about a thing here.”

As if that was not enough, Calypso raised a hand to touch his chin, making their eyes meet.

“I like you, Odysseus” she confessed naturally, “You interested me from the moment I saw you; your will to survive was unparalleled, however now I see how genuinely worthy you are.”

Odysseus felt his cheeks flush with color. It was rather flattering, he couldn’t lie, that this beautiful immortal being that could have any immortal god she wanted on her feet was now showing some interest in him in whatever way; him the man who was no longer young, who never considered himself the handsomest on earth in the first place, the man who was considered by many cunning, sly and without honor; now pique the interest of an immortal goddess. However…

“Your interest in me is beyond flattering, goddess…” he replied as he softly covered her hand still holding his with his own, discreetly drawing it away, “However I must refuse. I must go back…”

Calypso’s face again changed for one briefest second. It was as if someone had punched her in the gut. She slowly withdrew and sat back to her sofa.

“Go back…?” she echoed, “Why? What’s left for you out there, Odysseus? Poseidon wants your life and everyone you know might as well be thinking only of your harm. Mortal minds are so petty sometimes! Why would you want to go back to that world?”

“I have a kingdom I am responsible of” the king of Ithaca replied, “I have a family, friends that I have to return to. I made a promise I would. I am a mortal too, goddess, I belong to that world”

“Friends!” Calypso said as if the word had no meaning, “Your friends were responsible for this adventure that almost cost your life!”

Reading the expression of shock to his face, Calypso elaborated.

“You do know, it was Eurylochus the one to persuade your men to eat the cows of Helios Hyperion, right? Not that the rest of your men had vastly different opinion, but it was him the one who betrayed you in the first place, the same way he betrayed you when he opened the sack of Aiolus!”

The Man of Many Torments felt his heart clench as all color left his face.

“What?” he croaked out

“Look in your cup” Calypso encouraged him, “and see the truth”

Odysseus looked down at the ceramic cup in his hand and gasped. Indeed the water surface of his cup had turned into a reflective mirror and now he could see as if he were there himself, the dreadful scene that preceded the slaughter of the sacred animals that led to his last ship to be gone forever and his men drown…

The men were tired; dark circles had formed under their eyes from sleeplessness and hunger and it had given them a rough look. They seemed like shadows of the men they used to be. Hunger, fatigue and sorrows had brought them on their knees. The sacred cows of Helios Hyperion were always grazing at the field next to the beach, filling their fat bellies with grass rich in salt and essential minerals. His hungry comrades were often looking at them, longer than it would be proper; way too long for comfort. Everyone was of course considering this source of nutrition ever since their rich provisions were gone. They were holding on the promise they had given to Odysseus and the fear for yet another god’s wrath but this time they were all at their limits. Eurylochus suddenly shot up from his sitting position on a rock.

“I’ve had enough of this!” he exclaimed suddenly

As all heads turned to face him at the same time.

“Hear me out, my friends, because I believe you shall agree with me that this cannot go on! We will starve to death if we wait here doing nothing! I don’t know about you, my friends but I refuse to die here of starvation!”

“Eurylochus!” Polites cried out, “What are you saying! You can’t be implying-…”

“All forms of death are terrible, Polites!” Eurylochus replied again, “We mortals are trained all our lives to fear death but death of hunger? Is there ever a worse form to die than that? We once conquered Troy and all its assets and we were praised by gods and humans and now we are in this godforsaken island and we die day by day on the beach like animals that lost their feeding grounds!”

“Eurylochus is right” Lycaon now spoke, “This can’t go on! And Odysseus is nowhere to be found!”

“He went to hunt” Polites replied again, “And pray for us!”

“Pray! Pray!” Eurylochus suddenly started screaming on top of his lungs, “He does nothing but pray! Have you seen any god favor us?! Have you seen anything good coming out of his prayers?! He calls himself pious and religious, he offers sacrifices! The problem started when the sacrifices became us!”

“Now now!” Alkimos now spoke, “That’s too much! Calm down!”

“Don’t you tell me to calm down Alkimos!” Eurylochus growled, “Odysseus will not do anything, once again! All he can do is pray and his prayers go on deaf ears! And that is all because of him! He only is killing us bit by bit!”

“Now listen you!” Polites had enough of this.

He was hungry too and starving but that was way too much.

“Don’t you dare to say that! Odysseus only tried to protect us all in various occasions! True he made many mistakes but-…”

He was stopped when Eurylochus grabbed upon his collar.

“YOU WEREN’T THERE, POLITES!” Eurylochus bellowed and his eyes already shining with primitive hunger were now beyond any form of madness one could express, “You weren’t there! That monster smashing the heads of our comrades! All we could do was watch as he indulged himself in their flesh! We were in that cave because of Odysseus in the first place! We could survive with the wild goats of the island! He just wanted something better! He always does! And WE pay the price! Never him! Never!”

“Now, now everyone calm down!” Amphidamas came between them to separate them, “If we kill each other now, the conversation will have no meaning in the first place!”

Eurylochus was forced to step back but he continued.

“I refuse to die here of hunger! My friends, let us satiate our hunger with these cows. We shall offer a sacrifice to the god Helios here and if we make it to Ithaca then we can build him a great temple, with our own hands. We can make a solemn oath here for that.”

“And if we don’t?” Polites glared at him

“If we don’t…well in that case I prefer to die from a wave and drown rather than die here like a beast from hunger!”

Odysseus watched the scene as if he were there. He watched his comrades grabbing the cows, slaughtering them and offering their sacrifice. But they had no wine left so they used water to rinse the parts of the animals. They had no barley to use and they plucked the leaves of an oak… He watched them set their feast which was not even proper sacrifice to begin with and he knew very well what followed. He was there after that. He could see no more as his eyes filled with tears once more. Suddenly his hangover was forgotten. The pain in his heart was greater. The ceramic fell from his hands and shattered to the floor. Odysseus grabbed his head with both hands, leaning forward in lament.

“Oh, Eurylochus!” he whispered between his sobbing, “I know, my friend, I know I made mistakes…I know I wasn’t perfect but I didn’t deserve this! I didn’t-…deserve…”

His nails nearly broke the flesh of his face as he cried. Yes, there was no point keeping his mask of carefree man anymore. Calypso had already exposed the pain in his soul. He might as well indulge into it again! His men had suffered and died and he was left alone to fight the elements and the storms holding upon the remains of his ship with little to no hope left; alone in fear and in pain, in hunger and in thirst to the brief of death and madness… He felt the injustice in his flesh; he had sacrificed so much! He was always there when they needed him; he went to face gods, creatures, even descended to the Underworld for them and faced the horrors that expect the dead in the afterlife while he was still living himself. He had sold himself to a goddess hoping to get freedom for his men; he had stayed up 9 days to protect the sack of Aiolus to make sure it wouldn’t be opened and that they could get back home… He had been ready to face Skylla and Charybdis for them… Their accusations seemed so unjust in his ears and yet…the other part of himself admitted they were right; nothing would have happened if he hadn’t let his anger speak and brag on Polyphemus…no, nothing would have happened if they never entered his cave in the first place… Perhaps nothing would have happened if he never had that scheme to take Troy! Or what if he was never there! Oh, cursed Troy! Cursed war! But then again, Odysseus felt like he had himself to blame again for what happened…

“Cursed oath!” he thought in despair, “Why did I have to do that! Why did I have to suggest to the old man Tyndareus that we would all defend Helen? If it weren’t for that I would be in Ithaca! Raising my son and embracing my wife! My men would be alive in their houses and villages! Cursed oath! Damn the moment I invented it! Damned the moment I was born!”

He broke down. No, this was too much to bear! He wanted to save them and ended up losing them all! And he had suffered himself. He nearly lost his life… No, it shouldn’t be all his fault now should it? He had specifically told them not to open the sack…he had told them not to eat the animals belonging to a god… He had warned them! He couldn’t be the one to blame for those, right? He knew his comrades made their own mistakes but he could also understand them. They have been through much more than what any mortal was supposed to endure… But that type of mutiny? Why? Why so much hate…? He remembered though how much Eurylochus was affected during their trip. In particular the adventure of Skylla had left them all with scars…

The area was quiet; WAY too quiet for anyone’s liking! The men had watched nervously as Odysseus had stood to the fore-deck fully geared up in his armor and holding two spears. Why on earth would he want to be armed? Odysseus seemed ready to collapse in their eyes. He was constantly gazing to the rocks around as if he expected some unknown attack from the sky! As they entered a narrow path, Odysseus seemed to be very weary. As they passed from below a cave at a high mountain, from the other side a terrifying rumble drew their attention and a whirlpool was formed, sucking in the sea water. The men cried out in fear and despair and yet they could not take their eyes off that dreadful sight! And when he had hoped that would be the end of it, the cry was heard over the rumble.

“A baby?” one of the men asked

Odysseus winced. No, no…he thought. His hands clenched upon his arms. Suddenly he remembered Circe’s advice that he had forgotten; there was no point at him being armed; Skylla was immortal. He could do nothing to her even if he wanted. He could only pray that she wouldn’t wake up for her daily meal while they crossed but now that baby cry just shattered all his hopes and prayers. It was too late. He could only steer the ship close to Skylla’s side to avoid Charybdis and now…Skylla had decided it was her time to eat…

“Odysseus!” Polites called out as his face was pale and wet from sweat; one eye to the whirlpool and the other to Odysseus, “Odysseus, there is a baby up at the grotto!”

A baby up… For a moment Odysseus felt like it was Astyanax who was crying from the underworld…Astyanax had come to claim something of him as punishment for he took Troy leading to his death…

“Odysseus!” Polites urged again

Odysseus looked up at the cave and his eyes were liquid. He looked at Polites and his face could be the same as a wounded animal, facing the hound that was about to take his life; pleading for one last time… He was almost shaking.

“Forgive me, Polites…” he whispered, “GET DOWN!”

And he dropped to the deck, taking Polites with him and leading a few men do the same in panic (of those who weren’t still hypnotized by the terrible whirlpool at the other side). Everything happened too fast; Six necks longer than their entire ship probably twice as much, bearing terrible heads; a mixture between a woman’s head and a dragon with mouths open with sharp teeth. The heads rushed to the deck like deadly snakes and they grasped one man each who screeched in pain, drawing the attention of everyone on deck. They watched in horror.

“CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN!” the men who could still speak screamed, “ODYSSEUS!”

Odysseus was unable to take his eyes off this sight which was so similar to the cave of Polyphemus but this time seemed harder to grasp. At the beginning of the grotto Skylla began her feast by cutting off flesh and guts off the bodies of his men who were still alive and screaming from their adrenaline rush; nothing like when Polyphemus had smashed them to the ground, making sure they were dead first. Skylla had no such problem as her six heads were tearing apart what was left of his 6 best men on the ship. The men were wailing and screaming, calling his name. His men pale in horror; one or two of them doubled over and threw up on the deck. Odysseus nearly did both himself. The seconds passed like eons as the screaming finally silenced and the ship drew away from that terrible passage. They could still hear the moaning of Charybdis as she was throwing up the seawater again…

There was silence afterwards… His men hardly dared to breathe…not even the oars could be heard anymore as the ship was probably moving by the stream at that point as no one had the courage to move. Odysseus was frozen there like a statue… He didn’t even have the strength to drop on his knees. Forgive me, he thought, forgive me I had no choice… Polites was probably the first to come out of the trance as he croaked out in a barely audible voice;

“What…what the hell was that…?”he was as pale as a cloud, “Odysseus…? What the hell was that…?”

Odysseus turned his head to him, trying to find the words to answer but Eurylochus pounced at him like a furious tiger ready to eat his throat.

“YOU BASTARD!” he bellowed beyond himself, grabbing him by the front part of his armor, “WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT THING?! YOU STOOD THERE DOING NOTHING! WE ALL DID! SPEAK UP!”

His head turned to the side. He couldn’t face him.

“I HEARD YOU SPEAK UP! IT WAS AS IF YOU KNEW WHAT WAS COMING! SPEAK UP ‘KING OF ITHACA’ AND ‘EQUAL TO GODS’! WHAT WAS THAT!?”

“That was Skylla…” Odysseus whispered, “…Daughter of Echidna and Typhoon… A creature that pries on dolphins and seals when she can…and waits for ships to pass her grotto…”

Eurylochus was hyperventilating; his face was red in fury.

“You knew!? YOU KNEW ALL ALONG AND SAID NOTHING!? YOU KEPT YOUR MOUTH SHUT WHEN-…”

“If I had picked Charybdis we would have died all!” Odysseus yelled back, “I had no choice I had to do this! There was no other way!”

“You kept your mouth shut! YOU SAID NOTHING AND LET OUR COMRADES BE SACRIFICED! YOU DIDN’T SAY A THING! WE HAD TO KNOW!”

“WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?!” now Odysseus bellowed, higher than anything Eurylochus did before

His men all silenced before his woeful and furious cry.

“What do you want me to say! That I hoped this monster would never come out? That I wanted us all to suffer as little as possible…that I could find no proper words to explain what was in store for them…that I hope I was them…?”

He was heroically holding his tears back. He was feeling his body turning into stone again under the layers of his armor that had been useless in this adventure.

If I show weakness I am lost…

“…That I am sorry…?”

If I show weakness I am lost…

Eurylochus had his eyes ticking in rage and fear. Odysseus could see the panic settling in him more and more like the waves at the sea. He was shivering all over.

“Sorry…?” he echoed, “You are sorry…?”

The way he grabbed him later, made others even wake up from their shocked state and arrive to their assistance to see which of the two would be hurt next!

“YOU ARE SORRY!?” Eurylochus bellowed, “IT COULD HAVE BEEN ANY OF US, ODYSSEUS! IT COULD HAVE BEEN-…”

He froze again as if the terrible realization hit him. He seemed ready to throw up himself. He let go of Odysseus and stepped back. Suddenly he was vulnerable and frightened.

“Oh my gods…” he mumbled, “We’re not going to survive this, are we? We are all gonna die in this journey! We’re all doomed!”

“No! No!” Odysseus shook his head, “No, this can’t end like this! We shall make it! We must make it! If we follow the instructions Circe gave us, we can make it. Trust me…”

Apparently that word was the worst he could use because Eurylchus gained his fighting spirit back and he was held by another comrade so he wouldn’t rush on him again.

“Trust you?! TRUST YOU, you say?! Six of our comrades are dead! And you said nothing! How can we trust you Odysseus!? HUH?!”

Odysseus lowered his eyes. He fixed the helmet on his head, as if he wanted to hide his gaze from them; from all the judgmental eyes and ears around him.

If I show weakness I am lost…

“I did what I thought it was right…” he said in a cold tone, “If I had chosen Charybdis we would all be dead now…”

He turned to leave but Eurylochus was not done releasing the anger inside him.

“Who else is to be sacrificed next then, Odysseus? Huh? Tell me, King of Ithaca, who is to be sacrificed next?”

If I show weakness I am lost…

“I did it to save us all!” Odysseus whispered dangerously, stepping closer to him, “I did it to save this vessel! Our last ship! Our last hope! If we lose it, we’re lost! I did what I had to do! We can survive this! But we must stick together!”

If I show weakness I am lost…

“If you cannot trust me, then obey me!”

If I show weakness I am lost…

“If I everything I ever done is not enough for you to have faith in me then you must remember that I am still your king!”

If I show weakness I am lost…

“For as long as we have this vessel, I am still your captain! And we still have a chance!”

If I show weakness…

Odysseus moaned lowering his head almost between his knees as he remembered what had befallen between them. No wonder that it was Eurylochus the one to initiate that mutiny! However it still hurt every thread of his heart. It still led to the outmost destruction! He had roamed 10 days aimlessly in absolute terror in the elements with no hope; nearly losing his mind in the process…and his very life!

“Our last vessel…our last hope…” he whispered, “…It’s gone…gone! We… Gone… All of our hope was gone…! Why, Eurylochus! Why! Why!”

Calypso walked around his bench. She was as alluring as she seemed dangerous…like the sea that enclosed him. Her touch on his shoulder as she circled him, made him feel fear for the very first time he was with her. It was as if some cloud was lifted from his mind; a cloud he had no idea it existed.

“My poor, tormented darling…” Calypso whispered again, “These men rebelled against you…they disobeyed your orders and ignored your suggestions… Surely you are not the one to blame for their carelessness and arrogance….”

Her hands cupped his cheeks and made him look at her. She had kneeled before him and she wiped tears with her thumbs; tears he had no idea he had shed…

“You nearly lost your life out there, darling… Why must you torment yourself over them? Why must your heart always mourn? Forget about this…mortal coil. Stay here with me…stay and rest, finally, Odysseus… You shall not want of anything here… I could offer you the gift of immortality… Never shall you fear sickness or death again! Never shall you find yourself in the same pitiful state that you were when you first showed up at my doors! You shall be my equal! All you need to do is ask…”

Immortal! The word rang to Odysseus’s brain like a bell; immortality was the dream of every human being! And if immortality was linked, as she said, to no more of this heartache and torment… Oh, how desirable that was! And yet his mind rebelled to this. He remembered the Underworld; that dreadful place of wandering souls…he remembered Achilles who had told him he’d rather a thousand times be the last servant and alive than a god-king and dead… Why was his mind rebelling this when every mortal instinct he had was telling him to accept that? He held her wrists and softly removed them from his cheeks.

“Goddess…I immensely thank you for your proposal…there is indeed nothing sweeter echoing in the ears of a helpless mortal than immortality free of sorrows but… I cannot accept this… I must go back…”

Calypso seemed like she had been slapped as she looked at him.

“But…why!” she finally asked, “Why would you choose that? When you have been tormented so much and hurt so badly?”

“I must return to Ithaca!” Odysseus insisted, “My wife…my son are waiting for me there… And if I give up everything now, all we have been through with my companions will be in vain! I cannot just abandon them….”

Calypso stood up. Suddenly her face resembled indeed a statue; perfect and yet cold and emotionless.

“And are you sure, Odysseus, that your wife remained faithful to you? Are you sure she hasn’t betrayed you too?”

Odysseus moaned helplessly. That thought stabbed into his brain like a sword. For some reason Agamemnon’s words came to his mind that one can never trust their spouse, for he had been murdered by Clytemnystra and her lover. He shook his head. No, not Penelope! Penelope would never!

“No!” he exclaimed, “Not, Penelope! We chose each other! There is a special bond between us!”

“And yet, how do you know?” Calypso pressed, “You have been married almost two decades and yet you lived but a couple of years together. How can you know that your sweet Penelope holds your marriage the same as you do?”

“She does! I know she does! She promised she would wait! She promised me!”

“Darling! Listen to yourself! You have been away from home more than 12 years!” she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, resting her beautiful head over his, “At best possible scenario she honored your marriage till they finally denounced you dead. Who can leave a throne vacant for so long?”

“No…” Odysseus whispered in denial, “No…no!”

“Just face the truth, my darling…you cannot deny it that over a decade people die… Your sweet Penelope might as well have found a new husband to rule your kingdom. No one can wait so long, my darling…” she whispered in his ear, “Not even you…”

Odysseus shivered. Her hot breath in his ear ringed weirdly in his soul. A natural feeling of repulse mixed with the sweet allure of her voice made him release himself from her embrace and stand up.

“I would! I would wait! I did! I still do!”

“And you are absolutely certain she would do the same? How can you be so sure that your sweet Penelope hasn’t found someone else to warm that empty wedding bed of hers?”

His bed? That bed he carved with his own two hands would be taken by someone else? That thought terrified him. No, he didn’t even want to think about it!

“Please goddess, stop! Say no more, I employ you!”

Suddenly he felt the need to defend himself against her accusations even if he had no real logical argument to repel them. It was as if his heart knew what his brain was repelling. His mother in the Underworld had told him that Penelope was enduring still and he held onto that for dear life. But, the other part of his brain was asking, how long has his mother been dead? If she met her end years ago then what guarantee did he have that Penelope hadn’t really remarried? He had none and he knew it, but he still wouldn’t want to accept such a scenario!

“But what if I am right?” Calypso insisted, “What if you are right and she endured but eventually she had to bend? What if your sweet Penelope has found a new husband?”

“Then…” the king of Ithaca whispered, “…that is one more reason for me to go back! To claim what is mine; my land, my kingdom, my palace…and my wife!”

Calypso frowned and lowered her head. She was astonished by his seer stubbornness and his refusal of seeing what he was truly refusing! She felt anger rising inside her. She adored him and she desired him. She had tried everything the past weeks to make him see it but apparently his mind was captured by his wife for an eternity and regardless of whether she managed to read his heart or not, Odysseus was once more distanced from her… She felt an anger she never felt before in her long life; was this the emotion humans named “envy”? Was she envious of a mere mortal woman? A woman that would eventually grow old and die? No, she refused to accept such weakness! And she wouldn’t lose to a mortal woman to the fight for the heart of this man she had come to adore to her bones!

Calypso was working her loom. She could feel the enchantment had faded; the sweet lithe that wanted to give to Odysseus so his pain would heal and he wouldn’t need to think so much of the things he would leave behind, had started to fade. It was as if, indeed, Odysseus’s mental and emotional strength were enough to make him indeed Equal to Gods… She banged her fist on the wood frustrated. She had seen his heart, she had saved his life, she had helped him and yet she still was so far away from him and all this time Odysseus had been resisting her incantation by seer will and emotion without even knowing it! No, she couldn’t let him leave, not before her questions were answered! What made him tick so much? What made his will to survive so strong that he managed to come out alive out of the greatest of hardships? Why was she so helplessly trapped in his charms when he was just a mortal man with no intention to seduce her in the first place? She sighed. She didn’t need to look behind her shoulder to realize it was Odysseus standing behind her.

“Calypso…” he whispered, “Great goddess of Ogygia…please…give me a vessel…give me a small ship to go back to my country… You nursed me back to health, you gave me valid answers to some of my questions… I can no longer stay here… Please, beautiful nymph I employ you…give me a ship to govern”

“There are no ships in Ogygia, Odysseus!” Calypso replied almost coldly, “No one ever comes or goes from here… Ships do not cross this sea…so full of danger”

“Then…please give me the tools to make one” Odysseus insisted, “Please, I have to go back, do you understand? I have been away from my wife and son so long! I want to embrace my precious Telemachus again! Tell him how sorry I am for missing all his life! Please be merciful, powerful nymph…please let me go…”

Calypso sighed. Her fist clenched.

“Fine…if that’s what you want to do…” she stood up to her full height and turned around

She was a tall woman; as tall as he was in total. Perhaps even a few centimeters taller. Her look was magnificent under the pale light of dusk. And yet her honey eyes shone in a dangerous way that Odysseus never saw before.

“But first, before you leave, I need something from you, Odysseus”

“Anything, goddess!” Odysseus replied almost immediately, “As long as it is within my power to give it to you”

“The gifts of Xenia, I gave you…” Calypso immediately replied; her eyes resembled now a predatory bird that had caught a mouse in her claws, “I took you in my house, I gave you my bed to sleep, I gave you my wine and bread to satiate your hunger and quench your thirst and clothes to wear. I believe you owe me some gifts of Xenia back.”

Odysseus’s heart sank in his chest.

“Goddess…” he began, “I have nothing to give you! I lost everything. If I had my vessel I would have given you all the treasures I got from Troy and every land I encountered in-between! I would give you the best wine and fabrics, jewelry and pearls from all ends of the world! The price would be too little for the good you did to me! But, alas, I have nothing. I am a ruined shipwrecked man! I have nothing to give you, to repay your hospitality!”

“Ah, Odysseus, Odysseus… There is something you can give me, something much more important than those soulless things. Wine…jewelry? Why would I need any of those? I already have plenty. However there is something you can give me, Odysseus, that nothing of those can buy…”

Odysseus eyed her curiously.

“What?” he genuinely asked, “What is it that I have that is so precious to you, good goddess?”

Calypso slowly walked to him. And then Odysseus froze because what she did next was something that totally took him aback. Her hand softly touched his cheek and then her lips landed upon his. Odysseus felt his eyes widen like a rabbit before the sight of a fox. No…no it couldn’t be! Calypso pulled back smiling seductively.

“Entertain me, Odysseus!” she whispered, “Give me what your wife enjoyed for a little while… Show me how mortals make love!”

Pale as a sheet, Odysseus took plenty of steps back.

“No…!” he whispered, “No, no! Please, I beg of you goddess! I-I can’t give you what you ask!”

“Why not?” Calypso pressured, “You gave this to the divine daughter of Helios.”

Circe’s name came back to haunt him. Yes, Odysseus had shared a bed with Circe but then it was different! Hermes had told him not to refuse her and he had his men to protect. Right now he was alone. He had no one else to protect but his own skin and right now his decision would mean so much more than just an exchange and somehow he knew it!

“Please, spare me, good goddess!” Odysseus begged, “Ask for anything else, but not that, not that please!”

Penelope…Telemachus…

“It seems like offending gods has become a second nature to you, Odysseus!” Calypso retorted, “You make it sound like the worst thing that can happen to you is to bed me!”

Odysseus turned pale in terror. No, he definitely did not mean to offend her and yet what she asked of him…

“I’ll…I’ll do anything else, goddess. I shall delay my departure to make you a magnificent palace with my own hands if you wish…”

“Why would I need such thing, Odysseus? As you see I am missing nothing in my godly grotto. Why would I need a palace in my isle?”

“I…I shall build you a temple in Ithaca once I arrive!” Odysseus desperately tried again, “I shall make you the greatest goddess of all the Cephallinians, but please spare me!”

Calypso let out a light chuckle.

“The gifts of Xenia are not something given after 10 years, Odysseus!” she said as a matter of fact, “Not to mention that there is no guarantee that you will even make it back to your little island. The way Poseidon wishes your demise, I highly doubt you will make it beyond my bay! Nay, Odysseus. Besides why would I need worship? I live content on my island like that. I’d rather get what I wished for”

“Spare me!” Odysseus cried out, “Spare me, goddess, please! I’ll fall on my knees for you, beggar at your feet, but please don’t make me do this!”

He would have indeed dropped on his knees to hug hers, to make sure that she would not push him any further but she stopped him. She had come to know him.

“Please, Odysseus, no more, otherwise it will be much harder for me to keep refusing you!”

“Please, show mercy!”

“I have stated what I want from you and that’s it” Calypso replied relentless, “Are you going to trample the laws of Xenia as well? Wasn’t the taking of Troy enough when you fought at night using trickery? Wasn’t offending one god enough? Do you now wish to trample this sacred law dictated by Zeus as well?”

Odysseus froze in place; the law of Xenia…the law that he lived on all his life with. The law that he honored above all was now brought before him. He knew he had nothing to give her and he knew he could not offend her any further. He grabbed his head in desperation.

“If I want to see my wife and child…I have to appease her… Oh, Penelope! Forgive me! I am just a man; a weak, mortal man! I cannot fight with gods! I am tired! I can’t do this anymore!” he thought in despair, “My honor…trampled so many times! Gods, mercy! No more! Please no more!”

He knew everything had a price; he had learnt that the hard way! However seeing also Calypso; the kind nymph that took him in without asking anything before; the person he thought might be the exception, now bringing such a horrendous price for him to pay stroke him harder than anything. Suddenly his heart ached and then he felt like it broke. They are all the same, he thought, all gods and humans are the same! They all require a price and they ignore the distressful pleading!

Calypso’s chambers were dimly lit in moonlight only one or two torches lit the room. Calypso was casually leaning in her bed, observing him with an unreadable look; it was a mixture of lust, amusement, curiosity and wonder… Odysseus was shaking as he turned to the low table. He poured a cup of wine for himself and he downed it. Then he took another one. He breathed heavily. Gods let me go numb tonight…he thought, let me not feel this that I am about to do…. He could feel her eyes burning holes to the back of his nape, as if she was gaining strength from his distress. As if it as amusing to her. He turned around to see the nymph; so beautiful and so terrible, staring at him.

“Take off your clothes and join me, Odysseus…” she whispered seductively

Odysseus mechanically breathed in and out and then slowly opened his chiton, revealing his wide chest. He wished his mind wasn’t so frozen and yet so aware. For the first time in his life he wished to faint here and there; black out so he will not be conscious when it happens! Calypso shot up from the bed and grabbed the cloth, tearing it apart with one single move. Odysseus winced before her strength but even more he winced when her hands touched his chest, burning his flesh like fire as she felt the curly hair that adorned it. She felt every detail, every muscle, every scar… She shivered in delight finally feeling his flesh beneath her fingertips and the reactions that came with it… She felt every tremor, every jerk that strong mortal body was emitting! She sealed his lips with hers. Odysseus had kept his mouth as tightly closed as possible. Her lips burnt like coals…his soul hurt like being torn apart! Calypso softly pulled back and whispered against his lips;

“Like you mean it, Odysseus…like you mean it!”

Odysseus nearly broke down in tears as her lips sealed his again. He tried really hard to respond, feeling a jerk to his hair by her strong hand.

“I am Odysseus of Ithaca! Father to sweet Telemachus…son of Laërtes…There is nothing I can’t endure!”

The strokes came even lower. Odysseus prayed with all the power of his soul that his body wouldn’t react; that she would lose interest in him…however, as always, the gods were relentless. He felt his body responding to her caresses and her forcible seduction. He held back himself; no he wouldn’t moan! Be it pleasure or pain; he wouldn’t react! He wouldn’t give off the storm inside him!

“I am the Man of Many Turns…Goodly Odysseus! I am the Sacker of Cities! I am the spawn of Hermes…grandson of Autolycus! I shall not…I cannot be broken…!”

The touch nearly drove him insane in rage and confusion! He sighed as he nearly felt himself losing his footing.

“Endure my heart…please endure…! You have endured worse…!”

She led him on her bed…to which he was forced to lay and she threw her dress off her body revealing herself to him as pretty as she was terrible. As she climbed over him Odysseus wanted to shut his eyes closed, to hide those small tears that escaped his eyes and got lost in his curly hair.

“Oh, Athena! Oh, Pallas! Why! Why! Why! Please guide me to take this bitter cup upon my lips! Why are you silent, Athena? Why did you abandon me?”

As more kisses cascaded his body and he felt those arms almost pinning him on the bed, Odysseus remembered Circe… She had led him to her bed thinking she had his consent… Calypso knew she didn’t. She knew he couldn’t escape and yet it was as if she wanted to make sure! As she slowly raised herself to a position that was comfortable, Odysseus felt his heart break. The sudden rush made him almost lose his breath. He threw his head back in a silent scream. He wanted to close his eyes and yet he couldn’t avoid the terrible sight; he saw that face that was always calm and collected; maternal even now distorted in a mask of forceful bliss and a cascade of sighs and hums. That body that supported him before and helped him move about in the cave when he was weak was now moving over him making a series of sensations rush through his veins…those hands that so gently and so strongly supported him were now pinning him down; her left hand resting somewhere behind her back, close to the scar that adorned his leg and the other pressing upon his laryngeal prominence. He clenched his jaw till it hurt so he wouldn’t groan in distress; his body reacting to her treatment was much more terrifying even than the sight of hers on top of him.

“No more…please gods no more…”

And then it was over! He nearly fell back to the pillows breathing heavily like wounded. Calypso was breathing as well; only in delight. She didn’t seem half as tired as he was…

“On my word, Odysseus!” she panted softly, “You really ARE ‘Equal to gods’!”

He felt nauseous! He wanted to scream. He remained on the same position…not daring to look at her anymore as she kissed his cheek tenderly, hands tracing his body. Only one tear escaped his eye.

“Why…? WHY!”

Calypso was humming softly as she was arranging her hair. She had thrown a robe around her naked body, looking at her reflection at the bronze spectrum. Odysseus almost staggered in the room. He had thrown a new chiton over himself but he still felt the shame around him. He was breathing irregularly in rage and sadness.

“Now…” he panted, “Give me a vessel, goddess! Let me go home as you promised…!”

“Promise?” Calypso asked almost innocently, “I don’t recall promising such thing!”

Odysseus felt like someone had stabbed him in the heart.

“What?!” he croaked out, “But you said…”

“I said that you need to entertain me, Odysseus, to return me my gifts of Xenia but I did not promise I would immediately give you the means to make a vessel. And besides did you honestly think that one night is enough to buy your life’s worth?”

“I am ruined!” Odysseus cried out, “I am ashamed! I will probably never be able to face my wife and son again! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!” he finally yelled beyond his wits.

Calypso looked at him sincerely.

“I want you to love me, Odysseus!”

She stood up, taking advantage of his sudden shock.

“At first I was curious…I was not sure how mortals make love; this desperation that is linked to your temporary nature… Does it feel better for you that you know you are doomed? To us is just another pass time sometimes but to mortals it means so much more… But…”

She actually almost blushed! Odysseus though felt disgust and hatred.

“…But now, I am not sure if I can let you go! After feeling you…I just confirmed what I knew. You cured my loneliness…you filled an empty spot I never knew I had in my heart! I love you, Odysseus! And I want you to love me like I do…”

“Love?” Odysseus chocked in the word, “You call this love?!”

This was the only way the immortals knew to show love? Tormenting the mortals?

“I know I can win your heart, my love…” Calypso ignored him, “I know I can help you live here…with me…how to make you mine…and I shall be yours as your wife!”

“You will NEVER be my wife!”

“Oh but you are wrong, my dear. We united before gods and witnesses! You are my husband now, by the laws of gods!”

“Never! I have a wife! She waits for me! You are not my wife and you shall never be! I want to leave! You can’t hold me here!”

“You stayed one year with the witch Circe! Why acting so pious all of the sudden?”

For one moment the king of Ithaca saw only red. His hand grabbed her throat before he would realize it. Calypso was shocked only for one second but then a smirk crept to her lips.

“Like you mean it, Odysseus…” she whispered in a mocking manner, “…Like you mean it!”

Odysseus was shivering in anger. Oh, how easy it seemed if he could snap that neck that seemed so delicate! And yet he knew the truth; those bones beneath were not mortal bones and he would never manage to do anything to them and even if he did, she wouldn’t die…no, she wouldn’t die…! He let go of her running out of the room.

“You will never leave this place, you know…” Calypso’s casual voice stopped him in his tracks, “This island from the land till the currents around the sea respond to my will. Every single breeze and wave shall bring you back….”

Odysseus did not want to believe this! He ran out of the grotto. At the beach he knew he had no vessel but at that moment roaming the sea like he had come to this island didn’t seem as terrible as the fate that awaited him here. He threw a log in the water and tried to paddle away on it but, indeed the waves pushed him back on shore. He tried again with no avail. He desperately jumped into the sea to swim with all his might but the result was the same. Exhausted and exasperated Odysseus was once more pushed to the shores of Ogygia.

“No!” Odysseus yelled as he paced up and down like a wounded tiger in the cage.

In his anger he roared and threw a rock to the waves but that’s all he could do. He gave up. He sat down the sand, drawing his knees to his chest and remained silent under the stars… In what seemed like eons, he heard Calypso’s light footsteps upon the sand and the pebbles.

“Odysseus…” she called for him, “Come inside, it is getting late”

“No thank you!” he replied in a low dangerous voice

“You shall need to eat something, my love, come back inside.”

“Your price is too high to pay!”

“Come inside, Odysseus” she repeated, “I will order for your meal to be prepared.”

“I’d rather die of hunger and cold!”

Calypso sighed. It was the type of sigh a disappointed mother would give to a child.

“As you wish” she said, “But remember you should know better not to cross with me that much, my darling. I love your spirit, I really do, however you should know better that I shall not ask twice…”

Odysseus turned to look at the waves so she wouldn’t see his jaw shiver…so she wouldn’t see the fear in his eyes. Yes, he knew. Achilles was just a mortal man and yet all he needed to do was to plead his goddess mother to bring misfortune upon all Achaeans… He didn’t even dare to imagine what this immortal could do if she wanted. What if she ordered immortal nymphs of the oceans to drown his beautiful little kingdom? What stopped her from doing this…? Finally he heard her footsteps as she walked away. Odysseus was left alone…

As he was sitting there…his tears began to flow in the middle of the cold night. He buried his face in his folded arms.

“Gods! Is this, then, my fate…? Being the lapdog of a goddess every time she pleases? Shall this be the fate of Odysseus of Ithaca? Alas! Why! Why gods! I only made one mistake! I only…why! Why! Haven’t I graced you all with sacrifices and worship? Why did you abandon me? Over one mistake…?”

The smell of cooked meat came to his nostrils. His stomach growled in hunger. Once more he lamented himself and his mortal nature. He was hungry and Calypso knew that and she was using it to torment him. He clenched his head with his hands.

“Oh, alas! Is that what my men had to suffer out there…? Is this why their mortal bodies could take no more?”

He wondered why, how could he forget his lament over their loss for so long!

“That cursed witch and her spells!” he lamented, “Taking away this sorrow…putting my conscious to sleep!”

He remembered his promise…

“I have to survive…If I die here who is going to remember them? Who is going to know they were here? Who is going to tell their story? I am the only one left! I am the only one who can remember them…”

He heard the waves…his heart felt cold and heavy like the stones residing in the ocean. I don’t even have a tomb for them…he thought, I can’t even build them a funeral pyre… He felt his curly hair with his hand. His long hair was the crown on his head; thick and long; they had tangled a lot from the wind and the salt water while he traveled, almost forming natural locks. Ever since he arrived to Calypso’s isle it was always neatly combed and washed. His hand searched the beach and caught a sharp stone. He held his hair with one hand and then with the stone, slowly and methodically he cut it short as his nape… He held that hair in his hand before throwing it in the sea…the last funerary tribute that he could give them. He would survive. He would survive even if he meant to do anything for it! He would try to reach Ithaca! He would continue their legacy!

Calypso was sitting by the fire as her maids stirred the stew in the cauldron. She looked up and smiled. Odysseus was standing there. His face was like stone; his eyes bottomless and liquid. His hair that used to be thick and long now it was cut. His eyes were stained and burnt from tears. Calypso though smiled. She had confidence in herself that her spouse would learn to love her. It was only a matter of time and she had all the time in the world.

“Odysseus!” she whispered, “I am so glad you decided to come…”

She extended her richly adorned hand towards him. That hand that had given him life now it seemed ready to severe it.

“Come…” she urged softly, “Come to sit by the fire to get warm…we have dinner almost ready…”

One last tear ran down his cheek. Yes, he would survive no matter the cost; even if that would be his sanity and honor! The gods were silent to his prayers. He was alone. He had to survive alone…

He spoke no words anymore…

He walked in the grotto…

~~~

Oh my gosh! What have I done indeed! TT_TT but yeah...I do not fully regret! I believe this wll be the 3rd and final part of Sirvor's Guilt/Duty and I hope you enjoyed the wild ride!

Calypso weaving was inspired by this amazing soundtrack from "The Perfume"

youtube

Calypso showing Odysseus the events that occured before he arrived was inspired by the Odyssey since Odysseus mentions in his narrative how he was filled in the details by Calypso

I just HAD to include the Skylla moment because it was one of the most brutal description in the Odyssey so one can see how much Odysseus was traumatized!

Now as for how Calypso knows the details well...gods are often depicted to know things even if they aren't there (even if at other times they don't!)

And my extra explanation as to why Odysseus could not go anywhere.

The After Note was inspired by the clip from nbc Dracula (particulary the expression of poor Odysseus so read at your own accord! xd)

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~~~~~~~~~

(After note)

The night was silent as always on Ogygia. The silence could strangle you. Odysseus slowly lifted himself from the narrow bed. His expression was unreadable. It was as if the pain and sorrow had left a permanent dark scar to his face that would never allow anyone to see him smile again. His hair was tangled and his beard untidy almost just like the bed that seemed even messier. He looked to the side and his eyes darkened even further, if that would even be possible, as he gazed upon Calypso’s body. She was sleeping on her stomach, with her head towards the other direction, one of her beautiful legs drawn slightly towards her. Her dark hair adorned with gold, seashells and pearls were flowing all around her like second layer of jewels and yet to Odysseus they seemed like deadly tentacles; like the heads of the dreadful Skylla that consumed his comrades when it seemed like an eternity prior. Her soft breathing was barely heard and yet to Odysseus it was echoing in his brain driving him mad. He was choking. He needed fresh air! He slowly got out of the bed, feeling the light pain down his back. He walked out of the room, feeling the cold stone of the grotto under his bare feet. He didn’t care at all that he was absolutely naked at that moment; he didn’t bother to cover himself even if there was a possibility one of the nymphs of Calypso to be around. Odysseus felt there was no sense of shame in him anymore. He ignored the nudity of his body as well as a few small scratches and bruises upon it that were accidentally caused by some miscalculation on Calypso’s strength during some of their endless nights of her passion and intercourse. Calypso had apologized of course. But then again Odysseus had stopped caring. He had tried resisting her before but with no avail, as she was much stronger than what he was. He had even tried begging her; one night! Spare me at least one night! However long now, Odysseus had stopped caring. There was no fight in him anymore.

It had been two years already, the king of Ithaca had calculated; two years of torture and despair. His hair that he had cut as a tribute to his dead men had already started to grow longer. If it were in his hands he wouldn’t even bother to brush it anymore. He didn’t feel much like grooming himself or taking care of himself. He didn’t seem to see the point in it anymore and, besides, there more unattractive he appeared in her eyes, the better. If it weren’t for the nymphs who prepared him regularly for these nightly torments of his then Odysseus probably would have stopped doing anything. The longing for return was eating his guts like a worm eating the flesh of a rotten apple; he could almost feel it through his gut! However the hope for his return was getting slimmer and slimmer. And it wasn’t just his bitter nostos that was eating him up. It was also haste and doubt. Calypso had planted that seed of doubt before and now she kept watering it with every night of abuse that Odysseus had to suffer. He was closing in that island as long as he took to travel there. Ten years he was away to Troy, three years he was traveling, losing his men one by one and now two years of imprisonment. He was away from home 15 years. What if Calypso for once was right? What if Penelope out of seer coercion decided that he was long dead and had to marry again? What would happen to him then if that last piece of him was uprooted from him? Or, much worse, what would happen if… No, Odysseus thought, that scenario he didn’t want to accept! Not Penelope…Penelope was different! She would never cheat on his memory, right? She had promised to him she would wait for his return…

“And how long is she supposed to wait for you?” there was a voice in the back of his head, “You left her wait 15 years…who would wait that long?”

Who indeed? Who would remain faithful to a man who disappeared for so long? Odysseus shivered. He didn’t even want to think about it, despite the doubt biting his heart like a snake. He remembered Agamemnon, whom he had met in the bitter ends of the Underworld. He told him to beware for his wife murdered him upon his return…with her lover.

“No! Not, Penelope! Penelope would never…”

This thought he had made so many times while residing at the beach crying or even within the arms of Calypso at night. These thoughts constantly twirling in his mind. Penelope was a kind woman when he met her. A nice soft bride. However as Calypso had said; they were married almost 20 years and yet he had known her for around a handful. What if she wasn’t who he thought she was? What if she was coerced to change? And his sweet Telemachus…his son would be now 15 years of age; around the age he was when he got his infamous scar by the boar at Parnassus. His son would be practically a man now; independent and strong. He had missed a quarter of his life; his son probably feared his father would be dead. He felt like every single day he spent on that island would be a tick to the clock against him; Penelope marrying again and Telemachus never knowing his father or hearing his voice… This was way too much to bear… His whole life moving on without him was way too much to endure. His pain was eating him up. His hair had started to grow gray. He knew his own youth was long gone however the silver edges to his temples shouldn’t normally appear so fast. His father never grew white. Even when he left for war he had his black hair almost intact and barely started to grow gray. However Odysseus felt like his own features had changed over the years. He saw himself at a polished bronze mirror once and he was surprised. He could hardly recognize the prematurely aged man inside the copper surface. Calypso didn’t seem bothered though. She even seemed to enjoy this change that his torment had brought about him; perhaps she was charmed by his mortal nature; this nature that showed how helpless existence was, that no matter what one did, their time on this earth would be counted for anyways.

Eventually he reached the entrance of the wide, white cave. He was greeted by the sounds of the night and the cold night breeze. Odysseus, though, didn’t shiver nor did he feel it. It was as if his body had turned into marble; his heart into stone. It didn’t matter if in the mornings he was seeking sanctuary to the solitude of the sandy beach and there he would bawl his eyes out almost all day; having nothing else to do but gaze at the waves and cry. In the night Odysseus was a cold statue; as if he had no more tears to shed. As he stood there, listening to the song of the crickets and the waves to the far beyond he felt weak…he felt helpless…he felt like nobody…Oh, how many times had he wished he could get in her room and kill her! How many times he wished he could snap her neck, smother her with a pillow or open that delicate throat with his sword! But he knew it would be impossible. He looked up and noticed a night bird flying to the sky. His furious eyes became liquid and his fists clenched painfully.

“If only you never existed…!” he thought bitterly, “If only you gods never existed! Then us mortals could live our life in peace!”

He was always faithful to the gods. Many people had said he was the best when it came to sacrifices and respect. But now it all seemed pointless in the cover of this dreadful night and all the nights before. Odysseus had come to fear the night and its creatures and feeling disgust by them and he came to hate the day because it only held solitude and sadness. He didn’t even get his usual nightmares as he often got when he slept for the past years; it was as if he was completely hollow. There was hardly anything left of him anymore. Not even his faith. He watched the night owl fly soundlessly in the moonlight and his heart was filled with anger and despair. Athena, why did you abandon me, he thought. Curse you too! How can you leave me like this! However as if he realized the severity of his own mind his eyes watered and a tear ran down his cheek.

“Gods, I am turning into a monster…” he thought, “If I lose my faith to the gods…then…then what’s left of me then…? Is there anything left of Odysseus of Ithaca, father to sweet Telemachus and son of Laërtes?”

He looked back at the grotto that had become his salvation and now his prison and torture. Oh, how he wished he turned that place into a second Troy! How he wished he had his trusty bow that he left to Ithaca, to shoot his arrows to all these creatures that tormented him and set this place in fire! If only he could! He visualized so many times driving arrows to the sensitive flesh of these women and leaving Calypso for last… He would enter her rooms dripping the dark blood of her companions; naked sword in hand so she could see; take a good look on what she did to him and then she would feel the kiss of the metal to her tender throat… He visualized her death so many times that he could almost taste it… Something in his mind snapped. He could almost feel like doing it. Eyes on fire and dripping hot tears he clenched his fists to the point of almost breaking the skin with his nails. He slowly marched to the room only to find her sleeping in the same position; totally unperturbed by his torment.

“Why am I the monster…?” he thought, “And she can sleep peacefully…? After everything she did to me…?”

As madness crept even more into his heart as his infamous temper was about to explode his hands were clenching in a painful grip but he refused to feel the pain. Maybe he could do it tonight. Maybe he could try… Perhaps she was a normal nymph after all; immortal but not indestructible! Maybe he could take his vengeance from this magnificent being that tormented him in the cover of the night, why not? He had done this before. One more sin to add to his miserable life; one more attempt! He could at least try. If it didn’t work, the worst case scenario would be that he would be liberated from this if her anger turned against him! Slowly and soundlessly like a lion in the night he crept on the bed over her. His onyx eyes were even darker than the night around him; yes, he could try! Slowly and carefully he crawled over her when…

An iron hand grabbed his throat, cutting his breath for one second.

Odysseus felt his heart skip a beat. He recognized that soft hand; it was smooth and sleek like silk but held the power of three men in that tiny touch. Suddenly all his previous resolve; his madness evaporated in thin air by the reminder of her strength. No, he had absolutely no chance of doing anything to her. She was no ordinary nymph. She was the daughter of the titan Atlas, the man who held the sky… That grip on his throat lasted for only one second because immediately after it turned into a tender touch to the sides of his neck, followed by a second hand that held him there; softly and yet demandingly. Calypso raised her body to meet his face with hers; her eyes glistering with love and passion.

“Odysseus…!” she whispered

Her voice was barely audible and yet Odysseus didn’t really feel like reacting anymore as those lips sealed his and kissed him deeply. Odysseus felt exhausted. It was as if all his previous anger had taken the life out of him. He knew he had no choice but to respond to her kiss. He had come to know her. He grasped her hair to the back of her head and pulled desperately; in a weak and pitiful attempt to hurt her back. It was his way of showing the weak resistance he could; he would often grab or pull her hair when she kissed him or grasp her in what would have been a bruising grip for any other grown mortal man but it didn’t work on Calypso and he knew it, if anything it was almost like confirmation to her that he was equally passionate, giving her the wrong impression. He knew it was doing nothing. It was just his last way to show his will. As Calypso wrapped her beautiful legs around his waist she pulled him down with her.

Odysseus felt his tears dry in his eyes.

He was once more a statue.

He chose not to feel…

48 notes · View notes

katerinaaqu · 3 months

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Odysseus and Polyphemus: The Brilliance of Homeric writing (an analysis based on rhapsody/book 6 of Odyssey)

This is why I think no adaptation ever managed to take a glimpse of the brilliancy of Homer's writing

In Homer's Odyssey few moments are said to be as famous and as infamous as the story of Odysseus and Polyphemus; the part where Odysseus shows both his cunning and cleverness as well as his infamous temper and partially his arrogance; the moment meant for the audience to learn humility and show them how hubris leads to nemesis with terrible consequences. And yet Homer made it very clear Odysseus was the hero and Polyphemus was the monster; the one who not only represents the barbaric people Greeks faced in their trips who do not understand the customs of Xenia or the validity of agriculture but also people who lack real companionship and emotional connections just like the ruthless nature the one that humans need to face.

However this analysis is not for that which we spoke about millions of times before. It is about that one moment in which the roles nearly reversed; the moment where Polyphemus suddenly became sympathetic and emotional and Odysseus became ruthless and vindictive.

In the 6th rhapsody of Odyssey we see how Odysseus tricked the Cyclops with his "outis" (nobody) trick, he got him drunk and blinded him. By doing so he made sure Polyphemus was alive and not crippled so he could open the heavy stone entrance of his cave plus making sure he and his men would be a bit safer from him if he couldn't see them. However as Polyphemus was standing by the entrance feeling his way there it was almost impossible to run past him. So Odysseus had the cunning idea to bind themselves to the bellies of his sheep so when Polyphemus was feeling them coming out he would feel the sheep and not them.

Odysseus himself tied himself under a large ram. That ram Odysseus thoroughly describes to the Pheakes being the favorite ram of Polyphemus.

The escape scene though is the moment where Polyphemus even if still clearly the villain is being shown emotional and full of pain and Odysseus even if clearly the hero he is cunning and vindictive.

Polyphemus being emotional

The moment in the Odyssey is actually very tender since we see Polyphemus talk to his favorite ram as if he talks to a person:

"Oh, ripe ram, why are you coming last, out of the cave, after the rest of my sheep? Has your strength left you, you who used to run first to graze soft blossoms and grass. You who strided far and reached first the streams of rivers, you who longed first to come back during the evening, now you come for last. Or do you see your master's eye, for a bad man has blinded him with his sad/mournful companions after he clouded his mind with wine, Nobody, who cannot escape doom. For if you agree that if you had voice you would tell me by which mean he is escaping my fury"

(Translation by me)

Polyphemus seems to have neighbors, the rest of the Cyclops who apparently show little to no compassion. They become alarmed by his cries of pain but when they hear that "nobody hurt him" they immediately tell him to shut up and take it, basically their "interest" is purely the neighbor kind. They seem void of emotions and yet here we see Polyphemus pouring out his soul in his favorite ram. He talks to it tenderly showing how secretly he needs some emotional connection. In a way he knows he and his neighbors are isolated from each other and he substitutes that with one of his animals. What is more he knew which was his favorite ram even if he came last and even if Polyphemus couldn't see. Showing the deep bond with the animal.

Polyphemus is in pain

Odysseus despite the fact he is running for his life he knows exactly how much pain Polyphemus is in:

"And the Cyclops with sighs and moans of anguish/pain he was feeling with his hands, from the stone he lifted off the entrance"

(Translation by me)

Odysseus knows very well Polyphemus is wounded and he knows very well that the sighs and moans Polyphemus makes are of the incredible pain he is in and yet he shows zero compassion. If anything he is feeling triumph that Polyphemus is getting what he deserved after the terrible things he put him and his men through (the constant fear and anxiety) and his men that were brutally eaten (smashed on the ground then their limbs rooted out etc) which is still understandable given what Odysseus was and still is going through but it implies almost zero compassion on his part. In a way he matches Polyphemus energy who also shows zero compassion to him and his men. Plus despite the fact that Polyphemus is clearly in pain Odysseus still mocks him for acting like a fool thinking that guarding the entrance will help him catch them. He is being vindictive. His anger is of course justified given what he had been through but it is also interesting how unsanitized he is. He shows zero compassion and he is not ashamed of it given what Polyphemus did and he is not afraid to say that he felt so while telling his story to the Phaeakes.

Odysseus always describes Polyphemus as "monster" and "cyclops" instead of calling him by name (minus one exception)

Consequently in this scene not only Odysseus does refer to Polyphemus that he is a fool to think he can catch him despite the fact that he is in pain, Odysseus refers to Polyphemus as "monster" or "cyclops" instead of calling him by name. Even when Polyphemus is groaning and moaning in pain he is at Odysseus constantly calls him monster (πέλωρ) plus "godless monster" or "cyclops". The only moment where Polyphemus is mentioned by name (Κρατερός Πολύφημος= Powerful Polyphemus) is before the tender dialog with the ram. In a way he is referred to as a satient being only when he is about to show emotion.

Odysseus takes his favorite ram

As I mentioned to another humorous and a bit more light-spirited post of mine, Odysseus picks up the biggest ram but also Polyphemus's favorite. From the description we know that Odysseus knows this was his favorite. He isn't just taking a ram out of symbolism (in the Iliad Odysseus is described looking like a thick-haired ram) but he seems to make a conscious choice picking the one that was Polyphemus's favorite. Taking his sight doesn't seem enough punishment in Odysseus's mind. He wants to hurt Polyphemus even more for all he did to his men. He makes a deliberate choice to take the one he has observed over the days he spent locked up in the cave as his favorite. And we also see how important that ram is to Polyphemus. Odysseus takes it from him the same way Polyphemus took his beloved comrades so violently away from him.

Conclusions:

I believe that no one ever managed to transfer this Brilliance of writing in adaptations. Homer managed to still let us know who the hero and who the villain is (Polyphemus acts as if he did nothing wrong and is Odysseus the one who is "evil" who blinded him because he is an evil devious man) however the villain without aiming to be someone you root for or someone that was "misunderstood" we still see some emotion out of and we can feel some compassion for his situation. What is more Polyphemus clearly had a bond with his favorite ram given not only the tenderness with which he talks to it but also the fact that he knew which his favorite ram was even if he was blind.

Odysseus is still clearly the hero; the one who struggles to survive and save his comrades by a man-eating monster and yet the audience might as well feel a bit repelled by his grudge holding scene in which despite the fact he is running for his life he is still trying to hurt his opponent in a way preparing the audience emotionally for the main lesson we learn in the Odyssey; not to be arrogant and stay humble.

Odysseus is rightfully furious. No matter what someone says he had every right to get angry. He was emotionally and mentally exhausted from a week of being locked up and helpless watching his men die so brutally and yet he let his anger speak making him vindictive and arrogant; wishing his opponent to hurt as much as possible for what he did to him and his men and slowly succumbing to that anger enough to reveal his name proudly.

It wasn't him mentioning who he was that was his doom. It was the WAY he revealed it; anger and pride were his downfall. Not him speaking on who he was. It was his impulse to elevate himself to the same or higher level than a son of a God and consequently to God's level. Poseidon would know who it was whether he said so or not. It was THIS vindictive nature and the nature of him desiring to hurt and humiliate his opponent and his impulsive anger that doomed him and I think Homer showed that with just a few lyrics before the critical moment.

This is why for me Homer's talent is unparalleled.

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katerinaaqu · 25 days

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Okay this heartbreaking idea came from a discussion I had with my dear friend @artsofmetamoor while talking about the second part of my fic The Death of Odysseus (P1 , P2 , P3 )

Okay my talented friend brought up Astyanax appearance in my third part of the story and she mentioned how terrifying it would be for a baby like Astyanax arriving to the Underworld based on my descriptions on the underworld and all. And knowing the image of Hermes as not only a sender of souls to the underworld but as a god that is associated with youth a lot and all...

Now Imagine Hermes having the boat to the underworld filled with all the babies and children that prematurely died and making sure they all arrive safely while being entertained or lulled to sleep with stories and all or playing with them so they won't get scared!

Guys I am crying!!!!!

😭😭😭

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katerinaaqu · 4 months

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"Penelope's Sesame and Honey crusty Cake"

In my Odyssey fanfiction "Survivor's Guilt Survivor's Duty Part 2" I made Odysseus mention how Penelope loves this little sweet snack

This is in fact one of the most common savory snacks in Greece nowadays and we call it "pastèli" (παστέλι) while other versions exist all over Greece with different names (for example in Rhodes it is called "melekoùni") the basic version of this snack is consisted of two ingredients;

Sesame and honey.

This snack was known from the ancient greece and was known by the name "itrion" and it was quite famous in classical Greece as a snack for the Greek hoplites. That was because it was easy to make and traveled well because of sesame and honey and was a rich source of energy and a sweet snack to have for a break. Sesame was cultivated in Greece at least from Homer's time in the 8th century BC

Unfortunately nowadays it is not cultivated in Greece anymore and it is being mostly imported but this sweet snack is still around and it is the healthy choice if one wants to munch on something sweet during the day!

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katerinaaqu · 3 months

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Possible next Mythology fic

Yes, I know that my fics are anything but popular but what can I say? I love writing them even if there is no one to read them! So hey, let us make another pool. Which fic should I write next featuring the Trojan War related figures (Odysseus in particular and others in general)?

Scar => Young Odysseus travels to Parnassus according to the request of his grandfather and the story of his infamous scar by the boar

Suitors and Craftsmen => The story of the suitors of Helen, the Oath of Tyndareous and the meeting between Odysseus and Penelope

Howl of the Dog: Monsters and Men => Inspired by the tragic tales and events of Iliou Persis and Little Iliad, Eurypedes Trojan Women and Hecuba, a tragic tale of the tangle of Hecuba after the war the sacrifice of Polyxena and Odysseus being tangled to yet another monstrous act

Like I said due to the lack of time and space given the musical overwhealming tumblr among others, I ain't sure how long in the future I am going to update any of these but what you guys think could be the best candicate for the next story?

#katerinaaqu writing #katerinaaqu writes #katerinaaqu asks #odysseus #the odyssey #greek mythology memes #greek myths #odyssey #iliad #odyssey fanfiction #iliad fanfiction #post iliad technically?#tagamemnon #odypen #hecuba

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katerinaaqu · 27 days

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Little fun fact: in my story Survivor's Guilt and Survivor's Duty I based Odysseus's lament for his lost men and his panic being alone in the sea off the amazing actress Zoe Saldana in her portrayal of Neitiri's lament off the dead body of her son

youtube

I believe you can see the dialog parallels

"No Great Mother! No Great Mother! Oh, my son!"

"Athena...no Athena! No Athena! No Pallas not my men! No!"

That phenomenal acting was in a way what I needed for the absolute terror of losing everyone you have left and be left alone to fight the sea (I also took some elements from other laments even from the classic early 2000s movie "Van Helsing" and the acting of Hugh Jackman as Van Helsing holds the body of Anna Valerius).

The fast pace of escalation of her lament (in harmony with palpitations of heart or someone literally rasping for breath when they hyperventilate) was what I needed for that moment for Odysseus given the situation he was in and how his faith is just a lament now. Odysseus doesn't believe that Athena would even be able to do anything in that situation but he prays to her out of seer instict for there is nothing else he can do. And that part helped me a lot to imagine what he would do.

He prays, fists the water as if he expects to dig in it or pull someone out of it and cries and screams for there is no one around and he no longer can or needs to hide his emotions which he had to for most part of his trip in my opinion so that he would remain strong for his men. In one way his emotions break loose when he realizes all was for nothing and that he lost every single person he had left and he himself is alone out at the sea. In one way I thought his emotions would just break loose. He was strong way too long and he just had more than anyone could take. In one way that was also so that it would lead to his breakage emotionally in Ogygia when he is imprisoned but in a way when he breaks once and puts himself back together he builds up his strength and determination to go back to his house.

It also helps himself to release some of his emotions first then even if he was severely traumatized he tries to collect himself in Ogygia and finally fighting the sea once more to get to Scheria and there he actually built up enough strength inside him to narrate his story and give out the gruesome details of his arduous trip (or almost all of them because he doesn't really speak of his experience in Ogygia apart from the fact that Calypso had him imprisoned and wanted him as her husband)

You can read that first part here:

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katerinaaqu · 5 months

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Hello and welcome to this corner of contradictions! I am a proud Greek archeologist and singer who loves mythology and worldbuilding! This page will be dealing with various themes but mostly the collaboration with the amazing @artsofmetamoor and our collaboration for fanart related to the TV series, comic and manga called W.I.T.C.H as well as about millions of AUs related to that! (for instance check this AMAZING sketch with a Greek Mythology High Fantasy AU!)

Some of my work includes creating music such as:

Ballard's Sad Flute

or singing:

Dilla's Songchord (Avatar AU)

Some of the fanfictions that I do write on this fandom do include the below works, mostly one-shots and analysis on the worldbuilding

Hidden Truth Prequel: The Peak of Madness -complete-

(Diego -OC- slowly loses his mind and agony while waiting for his brother Caleb to show signs of life. Believing he truly is abandoned by everything and everyone, Diego uses his magic to do the unforgivable; take Caleb's form and hold his brother prisoner!)

~~~

Aditionally this page is also on occasion dealing with Greek mythos and poetry, particularly the homeric epics (Iliad and Odyssey) and the characters involved at them (with some special emphasis on Odysseus and the people who got related with him)

Some of the stories:

Guilt:

(Odysseus is being guilt-stroke and horrified by the success of his plan to take Troy and by the Greek rage upon it and sinks to a series of thoughts and flashbacks) -complete-

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Survivor's Guilt and Survivor's Duty:

(Odysseus loses his last ship and last comrades at the sea, roams about for 9 days helpless and beaches at Ogygia where even more trauma awaits him) -complete-

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Gone with the Wind:

(Odysseus remains awake for 9 days guarding the sack given to them by Aeolus in order to reach his home faster. However soon he finds out that sleepless nights take a toll on him and the consequences are severe...) -complete-

Part 1

Part 2

The Death of Odysseus:

(The final moments of the king of Ithaca, based on the prophecy of Tiresias in the Odyssey. Odysseus has lived a long life and meets his end while finally meeting with an old friend...and his journey to the Underworld begins...) -complete-

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Ismarus! Ismarus!:

(Odysseus and his men leave from Troy but are devided from the rest of the fleets by a storm. They find themselves in Thrace to the city of Ismarus where Odysseus decides they should raid the land of Cicones)

Part 1

Part 2

~~~

Short Stories

If I never knew you

Odysseus Leaving Ithaca (random Pocahontas inspo)

Odysseus and Helen

Argos (analysis and tiny scene A Tribute to Argos)

Screams and Shadows in the Night

Philoctetes Inspiration

Philoctetes Inspiration 2

Ruthless Justice

The Will to Die The Need to Survive

Escape from Cyclops Island: Hubris

I Take that Back

The Why never asked and the Because that never mattered

#katerinaaqu #katerinaaqu writing #katerinaaqu answers #katerinaaqu analyzes #headcanons #greek mythology memes #chronicles of metamoor incorrect quotes #w.i.t.c.h.#chronicles of metamoor #collab with artsofmetamoor

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katerinaaqu · 24 days

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The Will to Die The Need to Survive

WARNING: THEMES OF SA AND SUICIDE

He had forgotten how it felt being happy. It was as if gladness and happiness were drained from his world; covered with a thick, black curtain of suffering. That was what Odysseus was thinking as he was slowly stirring awake. He had somehow fallen half-asleep, leaning against the rock at the beach. It was his small hideout, where he would sit and cry, looking towards the waves of the sea. He was once more exhausted by the tears that never seemed to drain from his eyes. He looked over to the horizon to see the dusk had arrived. He sighed as he moved his pained neck feeling it cracking. His eyes watered anew as he came back to contact with reality.

“I am awake…again…” he thought, “I thought…this time I wouldn’t…”

It was what he hoped now. His previous will seemed totally lost under the burn marks to the edge of his eyelids caused from his very own tears. His onyx eyes that used to burn with the fire of survival; like a wild beast in a cage that would growl and move about its prison, constantly trying to find an opening; a change to its situation, now those eyes of his were dead like scratched and faded glass, which aimlessly decorated an old, abandoned piece of jewelry buried under the ground to needlessly decorate the neck of a casted body. His cheeks had sunken to their bones; his eyes in their sockets. He looked more dead than alive now…

“Six years…” he thought, feeling his throat burn and his shoulders shake, “Six…long years…”

He was closing six, almost seven years in the seclusion of that island… He buried his face to his embrace and sobbed anew.

“Why gods! Why…! Why…! Just…release me already! I paid all years of Troy with years of my life! No more…please…!”

The wrinkles around his eyes could only get deeper by the day; his hair whiter by the week. His youth was long gone…his fortitude run out. Now Odysseus of Ithaca was a walking dead among the living. He had contemplating death…many times. His age over 50 now…

“Gods! Men of my age die…! Why! Why! Just let me die…let me be done with this! I don’t care anymore how…just finish it already!”

As usual his silent prayer fell in silent ears. Never before his arduous trip had he felt more abandoned, more alone, than what he was feeling now… He was like a rock that was constantly whipped by the ocean; every passing day losing a piece and yet the rock was still there; beaten, destroyed, being eaten away…but still there. He watched the last traces of the sun setting beyond the horizon. He sighed and slowly struggled back to his feet, feeling pain all over his body. The move was mechanical at this point. He no longer thought about it. He no longer wondered what he would find or what would find him; he no longer thought of shame or sadness. These were just part of him now; a permanent burn scar that would sting him constantly, so much so that it seemed like the only reality. He half-staggered back to the grotto which now was lit up from the lamps inside. The familiar scent of food made his stomach growl and his mind feel once again the needs of his human nature that were forcing his legs every day to go back to the cage. Like a trained sheep, trained to follow the shepherd’s whistle back to the barn where it would be slaughtered. He slowly climbed the stone stairs of the grotto, getting into the familiar environment. He faced the tall woman with the dark skin and the beautiful hair who always smelt of the best ethereal oils and perfumes, decorated with gold and pearls, was embroidering intricate patterns upon a regal shirt while her handmaids, her immortal nymphs, were preparing the wine and dinner. She looked up feeling his steps to the entrance and her face lit up with a smile. She left her work at the side and got up to greet him.

“Welcome back, my love!” she greeted him

Her dreadful yet soft hands touched his cheeks and then her lips followed upon one of them; burning him almost completely. His arms were hanging limb. He no longer tried to resist her affectionate greeting; the greeting of a wife to her husband who was coming back from the field.

“It has become rather chilly!” Calypso whispered again, taking his hands and gently pulling him towards the heath, “Come, my love, come near the fire to get warm… By gods, your hands are frozen…”

They sat to the bench together. She took his wounded hands (wounded by time, wind and aimless mourning) in hers and raised them to her lips, blowing softly warm air on them. His look was dead; defeated. She raised the shirt she was making before, lifting it close to him; measuring him.

“It is coming out quite nicely” she said, “You need new, warmer clothes, my love. Winter is upon us”

Odysseus didn’t even take his eyes off the fire.

“Yes…” he only whispered mechanically

Calypso snapped her fingers and a maid came to take the half-finished cloth from her hands. Her dreadful arms wrapped around him, soothing him and then her lips landed upon his head. Her hands caressed his hair lovingly; soothing the curls that cascaded down his shoulders.

“We must do something about your hair, my love, they are rather tangled today. Too much salt from the sea…”

“Yes…” Odysseus whispered again

“Maybe get your beard a nice trim. What do you think?”

“Yes…”

Calypso stopped her loving touches for one second and sighed. His mood was getting harder and harder to comprehend, she realized. The past weeks he would come back more and more exhausted. Despite the fact she tried to relieve him off many things, he seemed to be withering away. He didn’t seem sick or ill. Just sad.

“My maids told me that you refused to eat again today when they brought you food at the beach…” she said again trying to make him talk and start a conversation, “Why, my darling? If you refuse to eat all day except for now, you will get sick. I do not want my dear husband to fall ill…”

Odysseus sighed. He squinted his eyes fighting his tears back.

“So today I ordered for your favorite to be made. It will be ready soon so you can eat it warm”

“Yes…”

Calypso sighed again. It was one of those days that he wasn’t in a talkative mood. His nostalgia for his home didn’t seem to wither away despite the fact that her island could offer the same and much more to him.

“Honestly, Odysseus, please don’t be like that!” she exclaimed, “Please… Stop withering away like that… I understand that you miss your home, who wouldn’t, but at this point you know that it will only hurt you more.”

Just let me go….Odysseus was thinking. I don’t even care if I survive the trip anymore! Just let me go! Let me go! Let me go… However his mouth said nothing. His eyes burnt with tears again and this time they almost fell again. It was as if the years he spent had even broken his previous stone state during the night. He was way beyond that now…

“My love really you need to understand that after all those years no one would even remember you! All probably think you were dead long time ago… Your son never knew you and your wife probably has already forgotten about you! The lifetime of a mortal is so small. You were a lifetime away my love no matter what you would say and-…”

Odysseus stopped her the only way he could think of at that moment without offending her or angering further; with his lips upon hers. As fast as he could he cupped her cheeks and landed his lips upon hers. He kissed her like he hadn’t kissed her before; as deeply as he could, putting in action everything she forcefully taught him night after night of torture.

“Anything…! I’ll do anything as long as you shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Stop badmouthing my home…my wife and son… Please no more…! Stop it! Or rather, be silent altogether! I don’t want to hear your voice anymore! No! Not anymore…!”

And he was right; Calypso was too surprised to go any further with her accusations. She immediately kissed him back, massaging his lips with hers. Her hand buried itself to his hair and the other held against his that was still on her cheek. He pulled back and his eyes locked with her honey ones for the first time that night.

“Please…” he whispered firmly, “Stop talking…”

Calypso looked at him curiously but then smiled softly; sadly one could say. She slowly curled up on his knees, like a girl in love. She often did that.

“You’re right…” she whispered, “Let’s not talk about it anymore…”

Her hand slid in his shirt and felt his bushy chest. Odysseus hardly flinched.

“Yes….” She repeated, “Let’s stop talking…”

“Do what you want to do…” Odysseus whispered defeated

Yes, he thought, do what you want… He slowly opened his shirt further, here, I’ll help you as well…just stop talking! Stop talking! Stop talking! Calypso smiled and lifted his shirt over his head, throwing it somewhere in the room. Her hands trailed his body and her lips claimed his. He kissed her back mechanically; like he was trained to do. He didn’t even care if her nymphs would watch or not. He no longer felt anything that a human was supposed to feel; shame and dignity. His fist grasped upon her dress at the back, seeking some sort of support as she felt her hands trailing him.

“Yes…this torture is better… This is better…than hearing you talking…than hearing you drilling these into my brain… This madness is better than that! This closure… This ‘comfort’ that you offer… Anything is better than what you say!”

He only sighed feeling her hands trailing his body and the now familiar sensations that were rushing in him. He no longer was surprised. In fact this seemed almost like a routine now, like he had forgotten how it felt without it. Calypso trailed his neck with loving kisses and then softly and affectionately gave his earlobe a small bite.

“Let’s go, my love…” she whispered to his ear, “Let’s go to our bed…”

Odysseus wrapped his arms around her; one around her shoulders and one behind her knees; like he was trained to do.

“Yes…” he whispered again

He slowly carried her away.

He raised himself from the bed when the moon was already at the middle of the sky. One or two fresh bruises were already forming to his forearms and one scratch mark was decorating his shoulder blade. Calypso was particularly passionate that night. She probably hadn’t realized yet that she had lost control of her strength again. She would probably notice the day after and apologize anew… His body felt heavy as if made of lead but his heard couldn’t even compare! He sobbed silently.

“Gods…what have I done…! What am I even doing…!” he thought

He had initiated it. Usually he would just walk in, allowing her to do whatever she wanted and he would just respond weakly. This time he had started it…so that he would make her stop! So that she wouldn’t speak again on how his wife was probably remarried and probably with a new child…his worst fear that seemed all the more a reality; that his son never knew him and he would be a grown man now at almost 20 years… He had chosen selling himself so that his ears wouldn’t hear anymore! He realized that her abuse didn’t even bother him anymore; it was a natural thing at that point. Almost seven years could do that to a tormented soul. He realized he would prefer her forceful seduction; her lovemaking and intercourse over the gloom thoughts that kept swirling in his head; over the worm of Nostos that had pretty much eaten him hollow till that point! He realized that he almost hoped for the night to come…so that the thoughts he was torturing himself with every day would stop as he would sink to the reactions of his flesh and black out. The dreadful price of pain and loneliness it was too high to pay! He was being used every day and he realized he preferred being used over his brain being violated by doubts she wanted to plant and sadness that wouldn’t leave him in peace!

“Gods…just let me go already! Can’t I die having some dignity of a human being? Must I lose every bit of my sanity…? Must I really lose every bit of dignity I have? Must I really get lost…? Why can’t I just die already?”

He slowly staggered away from the bed and climbed up to the top. He felt the cold night air on his naked skin as he got out to that dreadful pavilion; it was where everything had started! It was here when Calypso got him drunk and forced his heart to the surface! It was here where she forced his secret pain out of him and ever since used it to torment and eat him away! He slowly walked to the edge and looked down. The tide was high and the dark sea; looking black under the night sky, was hitting against the grotto several dozens of meters below; forming wild foam. The sound of the sea that called him away from home seemed to be calling him now. He stood there and looked down longer than what he should. How easy it would be! Gravity would claim him; the fall would be quick and death quicker!

“Make it so he never sees his homeland again!”

Polyphemus’s strong voice was echoing in his brain. Almost seven years he spent in that prison and nothing had changed. There seemed no salvation for him. The worst had happened. In his sadness he had hoped, in a monstrous inhumane way, that now that his companions had perished that he would at least go back home, after pains and sorrows…to face whatever pain and sorrow he had to face (and at this point he feared the pain he would find would be his wife with someone else, his son never knowing him…be it out of need or out of coercion it didn’t matter). However the first three years he hoped…the other three he began to fear… Now he seemed certain. His companions died for nothing. The first part of the curse was fulfilled. He would never see his home again. He would wither away in sorrow and torture on the island or lose his mind completely. For a second he remembered Ajax…his madness and his total insanity. Now he saw the same future for himself and he shivered in dread.

“One step…that’s what I need…one more step and it will be over…”

And yet the fall terrified him. His body was resisting what his soul was crying for. His soul and broken heart craved for death yet his body needed survival! His heart was flattering in fear, imagining himself falling. Courage! He was telling to himself, women of Troy killed themselves to regain their dignity! You can do it! Don’t be a coward! And yet he couldn’t. Survivor till the end it seemed…contemplating yet never fulfilling…

“Odysseus!” a voice distracted him, “What are you doing?”

He didn’t expect it. He jumped out of his skin and then he slipped close to the edge. His heart leaped out of his mouth in surprise and shock. His arms moved frantically to stop himself! So that gravity wouldn’t claim him! And then he grabbed the first thing he could to save himself; it was steady, strong and warm…

Her arm.

Calypso pulled him strongly back to safety with her usual inhuman strength and Odysseus found himself grabbing onto her like he grabbed upon the keel and the mast when he was drowning; breath hissing to his throat and heart literally hammering against his ribs!

“You were gonna fall, silly!” Calypso also rasped out

Her arms embraced him and her silken robes she had hastily thrown about her body were flowing around them; hand caressing the back of his head like a mother that just saved her child from falling off the cliff. Odysseus held onto her almost as if he were that child. He looked behind. He had nearly fallen off! And his body had doubled over in fear! His knees were still shaking; cold sweat adorned his forehead. Cursed instinct! Cursed need to live! How pitiful living beings were! He hadn’t been so close to death for years before and this was such a sudden experience! How strange! He had faced so many cases where he faced death and yet now he was totally breaking down! He cried. He couldn’t form that stone mask around him anymore; it was long broken. He buried his face in her stomach and cried, kneeling on the ground; his skin hammered by the night wind.

“Gods! Why! Why! Why! Let me go already!”

“Let me go…” he mumbled in his tears, “Please let me go…let me go…let me go…”

He didn’t know what he was saying. Was he asking to be released from her embrace, even if he was the one holding her now? Was he begging her to let him go about his way? Was he begging her to let him die? He no longer knew. His soul and heart were screaming; why did you save me! Why didn’t you let me fall! And yet his body was saying; thank all gods she caught me! Thank gods I didn’t fall… The emotions were too much for him to bear…

“P-Please…” he heard himself whispering through his sobs; voice muffled by the cloth around her body, “…p-please k-…ki…ki…”

She didn’t let him finish. Her lips landed upon his forehead, kissing him tenderly; soothingly even.

“I will always try to kiss your pain away, my darling…” she whispered

“No…” Odysseus whispered, “That’s not what I…”

He couldn’t even speak. Calypso slowly let him lay on the ground and catch his breath. She leaned over him like a predator; like a cat watching her favorite pet mouse struggle. She covered him with her tall body as if she aimed to warm him up with her clothes and flesh. Despite the fact that indeed Odysseus had stopped shivering from the night autumn wind, he felt even colder than before in his soul. Calypso kissed his head, his forehead and his lips; small pecks that burnt him like ice. He was saved by her again! It was as if every move she made was bounding him even more!

“Silly, thoughtless man!” she scolded him so softly, “I understand the night is beautiful but you must not wander about in the dark! You could have fallen! I can’t let that happen, my love!”

Her hand caressed his cheek; her thumb touched his lips.

“I can’t lose you like this! You are everything to me, my love! Don’t do this to me again! Please…don’t be so reckless…”

As her lips sealed his again; as if she was trying to calm him down with her forced affection. He thought on saying something; push her off him screaming...maybe released all accumulated anger inside him all the years he bottled up. Perhaps he would enrage her enough to make her push him off the edge herself…maybe… But his body again cried for survival. He remained silent. He was helped to sit up once more as she opened her robe to embrace him with it, rubbing his arm to transfer some warmth in his body.

“Let’s go back inside, darling” Calypso cooed at him, “You’re freezing”

Taking raspy breaths to finally calm his heart, Odysseus did what he was told; like a trained hound that at command of his master would let go of the bird it caught despite the delicious blood filling its taste buds, Odysseus followed Calypso inside the grotto.

The next day it was a downpour. The skies were gray and rain was falling like a curtain. Flashes of thunder often would appear within the clouds. Odysseus was running. He ran to the beach already soaked to the bone. He stood there under the pouring rain. Here his tears didn’t matter anymore…just like that fateful day almost a decade prior when he had lost all his companions…

“GODS!” he yelled to the heavens, “PLEASE! JUST TAKE MY LIFE ALREADY!”

His voice was being once more carried away by the winds.

“ATHENA! HERMES! ZEUS! Someone! SOMEONE! Please!”

He collapsed on his knees sobbing.

“Someone…I beg of you end me already! Take my life! Please…!”

He held his head with both hands; forehead almost touching the sand.

“Poseidon…” he sobbed, “Enough already…please…! Please spare me…! Take my life…!”

He chocked in his own words.

“…for I couldn’t do it myself…! Please…!”

Water was streaming down his face…hair plastered against his forehead… It was just like that day indeed… The cold rain was whipping his face like a million needles and the waves of the sea were rumbling. He remembered the last cries of his companions before being swept away by the sea. I have to survive for them, he had thought then, to honor their memory…

“I can’t…” he mumbled, “I can’t anymore…how…how can a person take so much?”

He looked over at the horizon. He remembered how many times he had been tempted to end his life… When the sack of Aeolus was one. He had stopped himself then. It was as if his instincts to survive had stopped him. Circe’s misadventure had also led him there but again the voice inside him had stopped him. Then he lost his companions and the wine-dark sea was calling him. He had resisted then too. And now this…

“Woe is me…” he mumbled in realization, “My soul that wishes release is trapped in a body that needs to survive!”

~~~

Around a year ago I created a fanfiction for my friend @artsofmetamoor involving our OC Diego who stands at the edge of a bridge, hoping to give an end to his life not being able to take the torment of waiting (recently posted a little something here too). I remember how ECSTATIC I was to explore the broken spirit of a war veteran there so kinda I will make an anniversary here with this post! ^_^ First of September today as well! With the recent love for that part of the song of Epic (and FINALLY one part I could relate out of all saga) so I thought it was about time I showed a small Odyssey WIP of mine that was working in my brain for some time now and finally connected the dots the way I wanted! Hopefully it will be enjoyed by both fans

Alight guys more heartache here! Sorry since I am also kinda down here so I can only produce this type of tales now!

In Rhapsody 1 of Odyssey and later is implied that Odysseus was wishing for death while crying on the beach but it was never implied that he made an attempt against his life. Likewise when Odysseus tells his tale, he often speaks on his thoughts of ending his life but he never really seems to finally make a leap towards it. So in my mind he contemplates it but I think his will to survive would be much stronger than that so he wouldn't be actually able to make a serious attempt against his life.

Also Calypso's denial that they are perfectly happy in Rhapsody 5 of Odyssey makes me think that Odysseus wouldn't have made a suicide attempt so blantant so that she wouldn't know so yeah here is what I came up with!

And so from this delicious dilemma this idea came out. What if Odysseus desired nothing more than end his torment but all his being was screaming against it? What if his contemplation was perceived as an accident by Calypso who is also in denial already? So yeah this scene came to my mind!

So technically this is the continuation of the afternote at Part 3 of my story "Survivor's Guilt and Survivor's Duty".

The Pavilion is also mentioned to Part 2 of that story while the storm is memorized in Part 1 as well as Odysseus thinking of letting go.

Odysseus often repeats things many times here. In many classical pieces even operas they use a lot the psychological trate that someone who has regrets or is in psychological stress often repeats things many times. Also the number 3 is used a lot in Homer in general and for Odysseus in particular. For instance Odysseus calls for help 3 times in the Iliad and tries 3 times to embrace his dead mother's spirit etc

I was heavily inspired by songs like Evanessence "Tourniquet" and Spirit the Stallion Soundtrack "Sound the Bugle"

So yeah this is my little interpretation based on the texts of the Odyssey! ^_^

Also keep your eyes open for more projects with my dear friend @artsofmetamoor !!

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