#keep posting crossover shit lately lmao

[didderd]

Horror Sans as burlap sack Jason? yes plz

[just-my-fandom]

FallOut (Steve Harrington x Reader)

Request; OOOO DO I HAVE A REQUEST FOR YOU AMOR. So first this takes place during the black phone, reader is 12 years old, was actually friends with all six boys who got kidnapped, and when Finney got kidnapped, the reader did too, so they both escaped. Well readers mom freaked and moved her to Hawkins and when the reader thinks she’s done dealt with enough shit she helps the party with Vecna and shit, and in the middle of all of it she tells Steve about what happened when she was 12??? Sorry that’s SO WEIRD but SO COOL.

Summary; Steve finds out about the missing kids from Denver, Colorado, back in 1978.

Warnings; Italics are 1978, The Grabber cause he def deserves a warning, children kidnapping, mentions of deaths, this was a weird crossover but the timelines add up. Reader is 19, Steve is 20.

THIS CUTS OFF SO SUDDENLY AND IM SO SORRY LMAO BUT IT WAS POSTED AT 1 AM.

“Can I talk to you about something?”

Steve’s startled by your sudden voice. The basement is silent, showing how all the kids spread around had- finally- crashed for the night, while you and Steve sat on the couch.

You’re messing with your sweater sleeve when Steve looks at you, you sitting sideways against the couch with your knees to your chest, finally glancing up at him.

“Yeah,” Steve’s brows pinch, hand sliding to your knees to tug your legs across his lap, “Yeah. What’s up?”

“This isn’t my first rodeo of creepy shit happening around town,” Your voice is quiet, mindful of the teenagers near you, asleep. “But it wasn’t in Hawkins,”

A pause, “I’m not following,”

You exhale, dropping your hands onto your lap, “When I was twelve, I was still living in Denver. Something happened, and my mom moved me here to Hawkins,”

Steve’s hand mindlessly rubs at your ankle, noticing your distant gaze, “What happened?”

He notices your hesitation, “At the beginning of 1977, four kids went missing. Billy, Bruce, Griffin, and Vance,” You pause, waiting for him to nod, “I was friends with all of them. Billy was the paperboy for our town,”

“Thanks for helping me, Y/N/N,” You glance up at Billy sitting in the driveway in front of you, as you finished wrapping a newspaper together with rubber bands, setting it in his bikes basket.

“Of course, Billy,” You smile, standing up and sticking a hand for him to take, then dust at your back legs, “Be careful out there, okay? Who knows what kind of creepy things are out there,”

“Ha ha,” Billy rolls his eyes, sitting on his bike, “That’s not funny,”

“I’m serious!” You protest, “My mom said theres this suspicious van that’s been driving around town lately. Just… keep an eye out,”

“Okay, mom,” Billy giggles at your squint, waving.

“Bruce played baseball,”

“Dude, that home run was sick!” You raise a hand for Bruce to high five, holding it in a shake as you grin.

“He almost had me,” Bruce chuckles, glancing at the opposite team- your schools team- before looking back to you, “Hey, won’t you get like, in trouble for cheering the wrong team?”

“They’ll be fine,” You huff, tipping his hat down so he laughed, “Celebratory smoothies?”

“You know it. Race you,”

“Griffin was my partner in science,”

“Goggles, Y/N/N,”

You blink, looking over to see Griffin holding up a pair of goggles to your face, head tilted in a silent scold,

You giggle, guilty, taking the goggles and slipping them over your eyes, “Safety first, I know,”

“What would you do without me?” Griffin grins, glancing down at your lab sheet, as you scoff,

“Burn my eyes blind, apparently,”

“And Vance was the bully, as you would put it,”

You’ve learned to tune out the yelling of teenagers. That’s why as you stood next to the pinball machine, you hardly notice the two play fighting teen boys inching closer behind you.

Vance is nearing his high score when one of the boys ran into your back with his own, knocking against the machine so the ball fell straight down, restarting Vance’s game instantly.

Your friend curses out loud in irritation. Through his blonde hair, he glares over at where you stand, seeing you turning and shoving at the previous boys shoulder. “Watch where you’re going, dude,”

The boy, who ran into you, nearly snickers at your attempt to look tough, but as soon as he sees Vance’s stare over your shoulder, he backs down, grabbing his friend by the arm and rushing out of the mart.

Your scoff is light, turning back to Vance, who- barely- softened upon looking at your face. “Next rounds on me,”

“You were friends with the school bully?” Steve pinches your ankle, where you jab him in the side with your toe, rolling your eyes,

“This is important, hush,” Steve raises his hand in surrender. “In 1978, a year later, one of my best friends, Robin, also went missing,”

“Y/N. Finney,”

You, Finney, and Gwen turn at the Blake siblings father. Terrance stands next to the phone, just having hung up. “Do you know a kid named Robin Ar-,” You notice his struggle, “Ar-,”

“Arellano?” You question, Terrance nodding. Your eyes briefly flick to Finney, “He’s our friend from school, sir,”

“Why?” Finney asks, Terrance giving no answer, only stepping back into the kitchen with a heaved sigh.

“Then, Finney, he disappeared too,”

“Were…any of them found?”

“I’m getting to that,” You shift, stiff, “Two days after Finney went missing, I was walking home from school when a black van followed me,” You pause, biting your cheek, “The man pulled the usual, ‘where can I find this road?’ bullshit, then asked me to come to the window and point it out on a map he had,”

You glance at each teenager spread across the basement. Still asleep. “He snatched me as soon as I was a foot near him. He sprayed- something- in my face and it knocked me out cold. When I woke up, I was in a basement,”

Steve worriedly glances around him, feeling you shake your head, “Not like this. That one- it was basically a prison. But I wasn’t alone- Finney was with me,”

“Where the hell are we?” You curl against the wall next to the one mattress on the ground, eyes flickering up and around the basement before back to Finney,

Finney shakes his head, confused as well, scooting next to you just as the metal door creeped open, both of you staring at the man in the doorway.

“He kept us there for days. But he didn’t just leave us there,” You rub your hands against your thighs, fingers trembling, “He’d attack us. Or just one of us to torture the other,”

“Don’t you know not to speak to strangers?” The Grabber questions, tilting his masked face up and back to narrow his eyes, “Now look where that got you,”

He steps into the room, Finneys hand grabbing at your own in terror. “But at least you’re together- Y/N. Finney,” His voice changes as he tosses a newspaper, Finney opening it to see both yours and his pictures, above showing a MISSING sign.

“But that wasn’t even the weird part,” You swallow, Steve now holding your hand just like Finney had done. “There was a phone on the wall. But…it wasn’t connected to anything. Yet somehow, the shit still rung,”

“It’s not connected,” You heave, nervously tugging at your jackets sleeves as Finney stared at the ringing phone, “Why is it ringing?”

“I was too scared to go near it,” You huff a laugh. “So Finney picked it up, and someone responded,” You rub your eyes, exhausted, “It was Bruce. Then Billy. Then Griffin. Then Vance. Then Robin. Somehow, even dead, all five of those boys managed to contact us,”

You sit up, beginning to pull your legs away, “It sounds made up, doesn’t it? See, this is why I don’t talk to anyone about this-,”

“Hey, no,” Steve’s hand catches your leg, holding you steady as he worriedly searches your face. “With all this Vecna shit, I believe you, and you obviously need to talk with someone about it, so,” Steve leans back against the couch, “I’m listening,”

You lick your lips, shaking your head, “There’s not really much to talk about anymore,” You whisper. “The boys each gave us tips on how to escape. Finney managed to strangle the guy with the phone cord, and when we escaped the house the cops were already outside,”

You swallow, “We were the only two out of all seven who survived. All those boys, my friends, all died by the same guy. And with all this going on,” You briefly skim the sleeping kids, “I don’t want these kids to end up like those boys. I can’t watch myself lose more people I care about,”

“Which is why we’re going to protect them,” Steve tugs at your wrist, so you tucked yourself into his side. A pause, and Steve’s lips press to your hair, “Thank you for telling me all that. I know losing them was hard,”

“Thank you for listening to me,” You lift your head, smiling, weakly, “It was. Even though Finney survived, we haven’t spoken since I moved,”

“This isn’t permanent, is it?”

You lift a shoulder, frowning as you and Finney sit on the steps of your front porch. “My mom says that she doesn’t feel safe here. Even after I tried telling her that he’s dead-,”

“Y/N, honey,” Your mom peers out the front door, “You need to finish the last of your packing. Say your goodbyes,”

Your jaw rolls, tearfully. This was permanent. Your eyes shift back to Finney, who watched your expression. “Here,” You heave a shaky breath, pulling a pen from your pocket t before grabbing Finneys arm.

Quickly, you write down a number, then an address beneath it. Hawkins. “This is the new house and number. So we can call,”

“Promise me we’ll visit. Even if it’s when we’re older,” You plea, Finney nodding.

“And here I am,” You sigh, yawning, “Nineteen and haven’t heard a word,”

Steve frowns, expression hidden in your hair, eyes staring ahead in thought. He really needed to do his research on this Finney kid.

[bulbabutt]

I'll be honest the worst part of the love triangle in 12 to me (or at least the worst part of the fan reaction to the love triangle in 12) is the people who act like it's somehow Rob Paulsen and/or Mae Whitman and/or Josh Peck's fault that it's like that. I mean, putting aside the fact that blaming the VAs instead of the writers is not cool (and also the fact that Paulsen and Whitman are ridonkers talented as VAs-Paulsen has too many to name and Whitman just needs the two-hit combo of Katara into Amity Blight, Peck I have less to say as because I only really know him from Drake and Josh and 12 itself but he seems alright), they're not the only parts of their characters! Donnie and Casey get plenty of stuff to do outside of that, and while April definitely gets the short end of the stick there I can at least think of a few solid bits here and there. 12 has problems but it's really annoying when Rise ultrafans act like 12 is some blight on the franchise (we have Next Mutation for that thanks). (AND I LIKE RISE I STRESS)

ok first of all people do WHAT lmao thats actually insane, it doesnt even matter if the actors are talented or not, its very bad behaviour to be blaming actors for anything lmao

lemme also say its not even always the writers faults either, cuz something about 12s writing issues i didnt give credit to was nickelodeon or playmates for how they clearly are behind the scenes saying "do this, do that". cuz all tmnt shows are shows made to sell toys and a lot of the time things that happen is also cuz some studio exec is coming in being like "hey! we need more _ cuz kids like _!"

but like if i can be absolutely honest when i say this and this is not even directed at you so like no offence to you or anyone who's got something to say about 12 or rise or whatever this is just like reminding me of the weird inter-iteration behaviour ive seen recently (like i browse tmnt crossover stuff cuz... obvs i wanna see crossover stuff, but lately i keep seeing nastiness)

but i have seen 12 ultra fans, i have seen rise ultra fans, i have recently seen just how weird and over the top toxic certain people who prefer either can be when discussing their non-favorite show and i just. can i just say. all of you guys. just... just stop interacting w the other people's media? if you dont like a rise fic, dont read it, if you dont like a 12 fic dont read it. if you dont like the characterization? the story? you think somethings ooc? like. its okay. its not for you, just let it be. people arent bad for writing it that way, its theirs. make your own art, interact w peoples art you do like!

idk maybe im just too old for this but ive seen people on either side of that whole...............situation. put their entire faces into videos like ripping the shit out of people and naming and linking the art theyre talking about and it seems really mean.

anyway all this to say please dont talk to me about whatever drama has happened between iterations (its always those two) like... the issue is very much just gonna be a generational divide. thats all it is. 12 came out a time when the jokes were a bit meaner, and rise came out in a post steven universe era. both of these shows are good they both are just different genres. people from either side of it have different tastes because of the specific thing they like in tmnt. if rise fans think the 12 turtles come off toxic and you dont thats their business, dont interact w them. if 12 fans dont like how different rise is leave them to it.

specifically please leave me out of it, and just dont be mean to each other. putting someone on blast for their art or their perspective just makes you look like the asshole.

also i unironically enjoyed the next mutation im sorry, im cringe but you can take bonesteel and hot vampire lady and mikeys pirate radio and BEST SPLINTER show from my cold dead hands AHJKSDH

[macgyvertape]

FF14 Heavensward notes

Took me a month to realize its Heavensward not Heaven-sword.

I’ve given up on crafting/gathering classes. I don’t intend to keep playing after finishing the story in all the expansions and I don’t want to invest the time to level. Its getting tempting already to just watch the cutscenes for other classes instead of leveling them 

Its also nice to decide to not care about transmog hunting or saving items for glamours unless I know I’ll use them. When I played WoW during Legion I invested a lot of effort in glamorous and now I don’t even play that game.

 It took 5 months to get through HW, so in post expansion patches I gave up and looked up major Shadowbrings spoilers because I wanted to know why Greek gods are in this game? Ppl were talking about hades and I was wondering if it was a crossover with Hadesgame, but no it’s the same dude who shoots the cat boy who shows up whenever I look up anything about Garleans or Ascians. I can see why he’s so popular he’s peak “poor little meow meow” 

So know I know the overall shadowbringers plot directly related to skunk hair asshole and warriors of darkness so its nice that I’m not totally lost on cosmic lore 

Main Quest

Oh wow voice actor budget went up, and Alphinaud got a new voice actor who sounds bland

Ishgard is a very weirdy scaled city, everything is so tall and vaguely gothic and all the clothing fashion dates to late middle ages with Hennins and Henry the 8th style fur coats

Oh nice that we get choice in dialogue and can be sympathetic towards Iceheart. That she has the echo, is she like our narrative foil?

Haurchefant really is a bro, saving me from an escort quest then supporting me during trial by combat

Back to main storyline, time to go fight all those Crystal Braves we trained. A based plotline would have the message “this is why PMCs are bad”

Its really hard to judge Ilberd’s  “you’re being used as a pawn just like me” when like i have no idea of the stakes of the conflict I’m involved in, but I do feel like a pawn in the Dragon vs Catholic snow elf war. Also his accent in voiced dialogue took me by surprise

Told Auphinad “why don't we just leave?”, and i know it doesn’t change anything but i like to pretend thats why we are going to see Iceheart

We get to call Iceheart Ysayle now, which is great that we can travel with her

Breaking into the Hive quest is the worst quest yet, like holy shit it fucking sucks with how easy it is to pull too much aggro and how trash White Mage is at doing damage

Ysayle is the best part of this expansion, road-tripping with her

Heavansword makes the whole Primal summoning super interesting, if the dragon is to be believed summoning not the actual god but your biased perception of one. (After looking up spoilers guess all gods are fake lmao)

 Wow Ysayle having a crisis of faith and we just leave her there…..

So glad Lolorito gets voice lines as he explains his plans. What a smug conniving asshole, he's the most engaging antagonist yet and its been 1 conversation. Ilberd still asshole but barely not as bad as i thought that he supported a bloodless coup to get resources for his home country rebellion against the Empire. Sucks that I guess he’s being cast away as a political pawn

Whats the irl equivalent here for the Crystal Braves and them being used as a tool in a coup? They’re obviously a PMC but I guess the Syndicate plants was just a hostile takeover

Wow so the big twist were the Dragon brothers were swapping along eyes like its Naruto

Nice to see Estinien and Ysale team up since it seems the war was founded on bullshit, and just kept going by the Elf catholics trying to gain more power

The moment where my friend and I pause to talk about how attractive Hilda is. All that leather and those boots, its that feeling where I’m both attracted to her and envious because I want to look like her but that leather look is a lot harder to pull off irl

RIP TO Haurchefant, my favorite snow elf dude. “A smile better suits a hero” I’m gonna burn this whole ass church down, actually a very tragic death 

Like I am trying to follow the story and the characters but somehow the way it was presented and that I only play a few hours a week I didnt realize Fortemps and Haurchefant were related until the father was literally sobbing and saying son

WHYS THE EMPIRE HERE? WHATS ALLAG? WHAT HAPPENED TO THE DRAGONS AND YSALE? Like she seemed to be dropped from the story. Varis zos Galvus, I want to look him up but the wiki is full of spoilers :(

Fool me once with Nero in the Crystal tower shame on me. Fool me twice, Lucia is a Garlean that’s it time to be suspicious of anyone with any sort of bangs or headband

Y'shtola is back, the expansion has gotten better, and she has a nice outfit upgrade

Hilda is back again as we say goodbye to all the characters, wish she had been in more quests 

Ysayle heroically sacrificing herself for us, sad to see it happen and fuck the empire 

Doing Heavensword dungeon: I thought we had killed Lahabrea. My friend: somehow Lahabrea has returned

The part where the pope-king transforms, its comical how ginormous he becomes

Estinien becoming Nidhogg has been the most interesting thing for his character. I know he and Alymeric are fan favorites are fan favorites but I’m meh about them 

Are the ascians on the fucking moon?! Was this a much bigger reveal pre-Endwalker and all the moon's haunted memes?

“Warrior of Darkness” looks like bog standard scruffy dude video game protagonist. Is he meant to look like the generic scruffy guy from the marketing?

Great to see Thancred back again in a cool new outfit plus eyepatch! Lmao he emerged from the livestream bucknaked!

Aymeric is just fucking stabbed in the street! Drama

The rescue the hostages mission was the worst mission in a while, super long and really slow as WHM as it doesn’t let you heal the NPC way through

I don’t fucking trust Unukalhai because they’re wearing a mask, and I don’t trust Urianger because he wasn’t running around Ishgard with us (aside from the Ascian cutscenes the player sees)

Don’t think we’ll be getting Minfilia back from being bonded with the Mother Earth Crystal Spirit. Especially if she wants us to kill all ascians, have we never not been in a “holy war” aside from fighting the Empire? (Having looked up spoilers lmao)

Alphinaud’s really going through it 

Aymeric is asking us out for a drink, shame I’m meh about him

I didn’t like Emmanellain and that was before he ordered a protestor shot and killed. Punching Thancred while whining is like point of no return for like-ability

FUCK this grand melee, have to do this long ass fight over again because my healer can’t burst down the boss before he casts the party wipe spell.  He still cast it again on Very Easy but atleast it didn’t kill me

Can’t believe we just toss the eyes into the abyss and don’t do anything to destroy them. Lord of the Rings style i expect these to reappear since there was no volcano. LMAO less than an hour later and there’s some going to get those eyes

Aymeric wants a dinner date with the player, sorry buddy but your not my type

Rip to the scions but the Warriors of Darkness party has better fashion

Tragic backstory, LMAO alphinaud was just like “would your plan even work?“ and they’re like “uuuhh enough talking”. Somehow Uriangar with a bandanna over his face is perfectly disguised, from everyone but the player. Like its been years of IRL experience wearing masks that covering just the bottom of your face doesn’t stop people from recognizing you

Excited to finally see Yda and Papalymo

Urianger is such an over dramatic asshole (complementary)

The warriors of darkness are pretty sympathetic

So Lahabrea and Igeyorhm got sucked into the eyes and are still there? I guess Elbidius didn’t care to get them out, or couldn’t? Even spoilered on a bunch of Ascian lore I’m still confused 

Baelsar’s Wall dungeon: i liked Ilberd as an asshole character right until the mechanically complex fight where he went “sloooppppy” every 15 seconds. ╰（‵□′）╯

Nero shows up talking about Omega, congrats to you Mr 2nd Place Pathetic Loserman

Very relieved Yda takes off her mask and she isn’t a Garlean

Side Quests

The Dark Knight quest feels very edgy in a fun way, especially when Fray’s eyes glow red. At first I was like "oh dark knight like batman" then I realized edgier and more like Konrad Curze. Shame the class starts at lvl 30 it seems cool thematically and I do love wielding a giant 2h sword but I don’t want to level this class right now

I unlocked Red Mage, I like the style of it but there are a lot of buttons. The tumblr infographic was actually really helpful and I now enjoy playing it

I thought WHM was questline was boring, but now after doing the final lvl 60 quest I just hate it. It took me 10 min running around the caves to find the right spot and then it was just healing a dragon (flashbacks to healing a tree)

I love the Dancer outfit but the class abilities and playstile are super confusing

Doing the gunbreaker quest, and there are tiger-men? (Radovan) like my character is a human who has cat traits but this is more on the furry side where the tiger has human qualities

[maggins]

I've been holding off on this for a while because anxiety (I would do this over a message but again. Anxiety) but do you have any FMA fics that you can recommend to me. I need more in my life and I want to know what's good

oh bOY DO I HAVE SOME RECS

but before that lemme say you don't have to feel anxious abt wanting to discuss/obsess over fma with me!! heck tbh i also kinda feel a bit anxious about talking about it with other people, but i'm also iN SO DEEP this hyperfixation and i feel like i don't have that many people who'd be willing to share in on that obsession hjdfsdhjfg

nOW ON TO THE RECS THEN

.... i just realized i probably don't actually have that many recs bc holy shit there's like 20 years worth of fanfic out there and that's.... A Lot.... but i'll be listing some i've been keeping up with!!

The Promised Hours  

 Recovery by @reminiscentrevelry

What's Always Been 

Nights Whole by @winnifredburkle 

 What Really Matters 

 Switched 

 Chasm 

 A Hop, Skip, and a Jump series by @liathgray (REALLY GOOD SERIES!!! this got me into 03/BH crossovers asadasf) 

 Songs of Another World series by @edisacornball (i’m OBSESSED with this series itS SO GOOD) 

 Braided by @edisacornball 

 A Former Alchemist's Guide to Dating by @edisacornball 

 running down to the riptide 

 Hospital Snow Angels by @problematic-ranowa

also like.... gotta admit i've been extremely into chimera fics as of late and i'm still looking for m o r e of them but for now they get their own category in this rec list lmao:

Distorting Equivalency series by @problematic-ranowa (this series came into my house, beat me to death with a stick and disappeared into the night laughing at my misery)

Never Slumber, Nevermore by @x-rainflame-x

The First Flame Alchemist by @problematic-ranowa (the twist in this one had me REELING holy shit im also thinking of making fanart for it)

Bless the Beasts and Children

Sirius by @magmatickobaian (i know i actually already rec’d this one to you but i gotta put it here again bc i’ve reread it a bunch of times and i love it sO MUCH)

... and that’s it for now... these are just the ones i’ve read in their entirety, i have a WHOLE lot more to catch up with, but i’d also recommend checking all these author’s other works, as i’m doing that too!

also @ruinsofxerxes occasionally posts really great fic recs, i actually discovered a bunch of these thanks to that blog!! definitely worth keeping an eye out for that one~

[bananaapplewaffle]

Twisted Wonderland Book 2: The Usurper from the Wilds

This is such a long post LMAO UTC ONCE AGAIN

Ah yes Scar's turn

which means

LEONA MY BELOVED

I swear all I can think of is Kingdom Hearts

girl help my urge to write fanfiction is showing

GRIMM GET ME SOMETHING

Me 🤝 Grimm

Chaotic as fuck

Oh finally money

Let's fucken go Grimm

man fuck the line

seems like your own fault, Ruggie

shoulda cut during the chaos

I do like your unique magic tho, Ruggie

its okay baby, you stole so much more food!

COPY CAT MAGIC????

Who is us?

oh, us—

LEONA

MY

BELOVED

HE'S A PRINCE

MY HAND IN MARRIGE SIR

Shall we nap together?

we in this bitch

ah lore

man what wack magic

god this game is just asking me to write a kh crossover

Girl what? Throwing hands for what??? Headmage!

...

You would think blot would be a result of high emotions, not just using your magic in general

side eyes grim who has been eating blotted magestones

Its the call out for me

And there it is, it is effected by mental/emotional state

GIANT SHADOW, YOU SAY?

THAT'S A FUCKEN HEARTLESS

Yelling for what, Headmage

Man fuck me, huh? Completely forgot about our deal, Crowley.

tbh mc i never know what's going ever lmao

SEVEN?

Are we saying Football or Football?

damn kinda hate how everything is magic based

Grim the Humble

WHAT CRUSHING HIS DREAMS

... my friends are my power

SUMMON THE DREAM EATERS

oh wait girl, imma housewarden LMAO

LEONA MY BELOVED

girl a handling fee

NOT THEM SAYING HE CANT EVEN PLAY

MALLEUS IM SORRY

THIS IS LITERALLY A TRANSGRESSION AGANIST HIM

LET'EM KNOW LEONA

oof the M word (Monster)

Idia that's just because you don't wanna do shit

Pay the late fees!

CHEATING

RUGGIE BITCH

THAT WAS THE FUCKEN PLAN

LEONA I MAY LOVE YOU

BUT I CAN'T CONDONE THIS

Should really clean this dorm up

lsakd;lksda;ldka

A request?

Is that a fucken threat?

Ah, you need Detective UwU Holmes (my among us name)

now you're speaking Grim's language!

Hello, yes, I'm Detective UwU Holmes. Tell me everything that happened.

I came to ask a simply question and you answer me with hands.

19 HEALTH??

why are you in my house? You have your own dorm

WHO LET YOU IN MY HOUSE

Oh his room is nice

Mans said don't give us a ship name lmao

aw that's sweet Grim

Riddle: BESTIE DOWN BESTIE DOWN

THEY TRIED TO TAKE OUT RIDDLE AND INSTEAD GOT TREY

I SURE DO FUCKEN THINK SO ACE

Don't say sus. its been tainted

Mystery Gang! Let's fucken go!

How is Cater not a Virgo? This is Detective Virgo shit.

Very cushy dorm

oh god it's all 3 of them

FELICITY? FENTY?

Really looked at him and said: "He aint it." and moved the fuck on.

Built like giraffes them two

Oh to be chased by giraffes

Not Jack, he def doesn't seem like the type but okie

Riddle what?

Into the Lion's den we go!

hmmmmmmm really don't like how y'all are talking about Savanaclaw

Cater I don't need you're help

Grim shut up

NOT KING

KING SHIT THO

YOU WANNA FIGHT

UwU Holmes heard that, Jack.

LEONA MY BELOVED

Sit here, look pretty and be smart. Got it!

IM DISTRACTED BY TAILS

SO YALL JUST GONNA ADD SWIPES AND TELL NO ONE

Hollow Bastion?

Jack, punch'em

I swear if these three are spending the night...

MALLEUS MY BELOVED

Sparkle, sparkle and he's gone

JACK BITCH THEY GOT YOU

Girl two? or just Leona...?

oh the baby wanted some milk

Ion like Horton

Gotta love how Ace and Deuce are just one person now (kinda have been tho too)

NOT JAMIL

Grim isn't house trained. We're working on his manners

Lamb rolls... I would like to try it.

UwU Holmes sits up straighter

Also Kalim I love you but you are just not all there.

He's a cat, Riddle. Ain't much going for him. Let him dream.

No Grim! I Detective UwU Holmes have solved the case!

Cater said "let's keep it on the DL, bestie"

GIRL WHAT THE FUCK

LEOPARD PINK LMAO

I wanna kick Ruggie in the butt.

Excuse me, I am not scum.

GIRL WHAT? AFTER ALL THAT RUNNING YOU WANT THEM TO FIGHT

LETS FUCKEN GO DUECE

LETS THROW HANDS

YOUR HEART?

KINGDOM HEARTS

Grim is right as hell. You just don't steal someone else's food

Growl at me more

I said what I said, and I said it with my whole chest. Cry about it.

Riddle... (affectionate)

Y'ALL GET A WATERFALL IN YOUR LOUNGE

GIRL NOT THE DIRTY MONEY TO SILENCE AZUL

Mirror Dream Time~

I deadass only really remember some of the Disney movies via KH and Scar had already overthrown Mufasa.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE

might fuck around and roll over

Girl... not them doing shit right before the tournment.

Dirty, dirty...

I WANT FUNNEL CAKE

THEY BE SLEEPIN

GIRL "LAUGH WITH ME" I GOTTA GO

MFEN WILDBEASTS IN THIS PIECE

All of this over a damn game

LMAO DUMMIES

PERIODT LET'EM KNOW

LILIA BITCH

All of that work, for nothing.

WELL—

Damn Leona your "aint shit" is showing

I can't be the only one who hears the Yoko in some of this music.. Did they get her on this? (Nope!)

Girl...the ghetto with him

DOU MAGIC???

Leona you may be my beloved but you are acting really stupid.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

JACK IS A FURRY REALIZED

ON ALL LEVELS EVEN PHYSICAL HE IS A WOLF

TELL'EM LILIA

oh shit here we go y'all

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IM ABOUT TO WHORE

PERIODT RUGGIE

Girl is that not just Scar's Heartless from KH2

Girl we ain't making it first time around

Ruggie is burning, besties

Got my ass.

Leveling Intermission

4 tImEs ThE cHaRm GaNg

ANYWAY

LEONA MY BELOVED'S PAST

Oh I just can't wait to be king

...over a fucken game...

ALL THAT SHIT JUST TO GET DISQUILIFED

Every bitch in this bitch is selfish

same tbh

GET HIS ASS RUGGIE

IVE BEEN BLESSED

aww jack they're our idiots tho

Crowley don't be like that

NOOOOOOO

ALL GRIM WANTED TO DO WAS PLAY THE DAMN GAME

Why are y'all always around the corner

Got our rag tag team

Grim already ate the damn stone

Girl help I'm in the infirmary but don't know how I got here

its like a big ole sleepover

BABY

SMALL BABY

WE'RE BESTIES UNCA LEONA

GRIM NOT YOU TAKING, NOT EATING, BUT SAVING IT AS A MIDNIGHT SNACK

RIGHT UNDER MY NOSE

IN MY HOUSE

NAH NAH WAKE UP

GIRL HELP THE REFLECTIONS ARE COMING FOR ME

...was the mirror blotting?

UIODSUIOUASIOUDIOIDUA\

IT IS

GRIM YOU GOTTA STOP PUTTING WHATEVER IN YOUR MOUTH

Girl the client who?

seeing them makes me want to play Ursula's Revenge from KH2

Girl help

...I'm all caught up

And that's been Alie's Adventures in Twisted Wonderland! See y'all next update!

Ramblings Masterlist

[lizardkingeliot]

Fic Writer Questions

tagged by: @lazybakerart thank you! 💖

How many works do you have on AO3?

147 (jfc)

What’s your total AO3 wordcount?

789,230 (i did the math recently and over 400k of this is Queliot fic from the past two and a half years lmaooo)

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

According to my expanded fandom list on ao3 these are the numbers:

Hannibal (TV) (64)

The Magicians (TV) (33)

Supernatural (18)

Queer as Folk (US) (14)

The Exorcist (TV) (13)

The Magicians - Lev Grossman (2)

Vikings (TV) (2)

Historical RPF (1)

Hannibal (TV) RPF (1)

The Walking Dead (TV) (1)

Mænd & høns | Men & Chicken (2015) (1)

Basic Instinct (Movies) (1)

15th Century CE RPF (1)

Hannibal Lecter Tetralogy - Thomas Harris (1)

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I am going to choose from my Magicians fic only here since it’s what I’m most proud of:

wellspring

time cast a spell on you (but you won't forget me)

as it was

and this is the map of my heart

life fades (but you remain)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes absolutely. Comments are very important to me and I want everyone who takes the time to leave one to know how much I appreciate them. 💖

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

prooooobably throw your shadow over me. there is zero resolution since it’s a missing scene set in late season 3 and, well..... lol. it’s seriously miserable.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve ever written?

Just the one Hannigram AU I think???? I have never been super into crossovers tbh.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

lol yes, but it’s been a while???? although i did get one comment on a fic last year that wasn’t technically hate but it put such a bad taste in my mouth it might as well have been. it’s never a good idea to tell someone you don’t like the way they write a character, regardless of your intent. it is okay to simply hit the back button and move on with your day. :)

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

So much. Maybe too much???? Whatever. I really love writing deeply meaningful and descriptive sex that feels like an entire ~experience for my readers.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don’t think so??????

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yep. :)

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! @lazybakerart and I collaborated on a Hannibal fic years ago and we had so much fun.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Queliot now and forever. I have never in all my life had my heart completely fucking consumed like this. I’ve written close to a half million words about these bitches since 4x05 aired and I think I’m physically incapable of stopping at this point.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

That season one AU I started writing when season 4 ended that’s an entire 70k mess sitting in a doc I haven’t touched since 2019. There were some really cool ideas in it (including an alternate mosaic timeline that was like a probability spell sorta?????) and I mayyyyy one day incorporate some of it into another fic, but as a whole I simply do not think it’s worth the effort it would take to make it good enough to post.

What are your writing strengths?

I think I write sex and romance well??? Also: conversations, similes, and sensory language.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Last night I had to describe the suspenders Quentin was trying on. I will probably have to spend an entire day editing that paragraph alone. I can go on for pages and pages about this deeply meaningful and emotional shit and then freeze up when I have to get a character dressed or make them move from one room to the next... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

This is a deeply ironic question for me to answer at the moment because I generally do not do this BUT there’s a moment in the new chapter of a litany of dreams that I’m working on where Eliot says... something. In another language. During a very specific scene. And it just sort of happened???? It’s a term of endearment (that I googled about ten different ways just to make sure I wasn’t fucking it up lmao) and I’m still 50/50 on whether it will make it into the final draft of the chapter but right now every time I think about my heart mayyyybe starts to beat a little faster. Eliot Waugh is a goddamn sap, y’all.

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

For this one I will direct you all to this recent tweet of mine lmao...

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

My time cast a spell on you series without a doubt. I am SO PROUD of the work I’ve put into the 200k written for this ‘verse so far. It’s the biggest challenge keeping everything tonally consistent, but so deeply rewarding every time I finish a chapter and read it over and feel like I’ve accomplished just that. I’ve learned so much about my process and who I want to be as a writer from this ‘verse. And I’m so excited about all the messy and emotionally complex stuff I have planned for the remainder of part two. And allllll the other fics I have planned for this ‘verse in the future. 💖

tagging @thelucindac @nellie-elizabeth @akisazame @allegria23 @biblionerd07 @defilerwyrm @imaginedmelody @rubickk7 and anyone else who wants to talk about their fic. 💖

[kylos]

i was asked to make some fic recs of stuff i’ve been reading since tros dropped but since tumblr has a glitch where i can’t add a “read more” cut in asks, i decided to make it a separate post because i have a LOT. all of them are rated E except for like, three lmao and they’re mostly modern au ones with some fix-its thrown in. i’ll put two of my favorites outside of a cut and the rest after it.

(won’t you let me) walk you home from school by somethingdifferent modern au. ongoing. ben and rey are co-workers at a private school. rey as a elementary school art teacher is SO CUTE. her and ben have a slow burn enemies to lovers situation going on and god, what can i say about this fic. one of THE BEST reylo fics i’ve ever read. incredibly in character. you know those fics that are so enthralling that they draw you in and you realize like 3 hours later that you’ve read the whole thing? this fic is one of those stories. it reels you in. and REY. i hate fics that are like, “she’s so plain and mousy and ordinary and lanky” like, NO. i love that this author characterizes her as the vibrant, sweet, radiant person she is. and ben’s deadpan humor in this is amazing. he’s got it so bad for rey but he’s such a self-sabotaging goof. just, god. i can’t stress enough how amazing of a fic this is. a must read. and if you love what we do in the shadows, read somethingdifferent’s cracky wwdits x reylo crossover oneshot - it’s hilarious

a place to go by delia-pavorum (literaryminded) modern au. bit of a slow burn. ben and rey are strangers and accidentally both end up at luke’s cabin during xmas vacation because luke, a fellow teacher at rey’s school lends it to her for the holiday and a certain grumpy tol nephew of his happens to drop by thinking it’s vacant. they get snowed in. [in bill hader’s stefan voice] this fic has everything: bed sharing, an enemies-to lovers dynamic, slow dancing to frank sinatra, snark, british!rey and ben finding her accent adorable, ben reading jane austen to a sick rey, smut, and fluff. another one of the best reylo fics i’ve ever read in the past 5 years i’ve been a shipper. it’s so well written and it made me cry with how moved i was by it. i stayed up all night reading all 8 chapters it was that good.

the man, the stallion, and the wind by voicedimplosives modern au. i love this fic so, so, so much. rey picks up a hitchhiking ben and they have to hang out in her trailer while the winter storm calms down. so fluffy and smutty i love it so much. their characterizations are perfect. definitely a fic that i’m gonna come back to read over and over again.

between two lives by neonheartbeat modern au. rey’s a model and her car breaks down in the middle of nowhere and she stays with mechanic ben solo while her car gets worked on. SUCH a good fic. the build up to their relationship is *chefs kiss* and the smuttttt. amazing. and i was not prepared for all the feels.

carve your name upon my heart by TourmalineGreen modern au and 3 chapters. one of the most unique fics i’ve ever read. it actually got me really emotional and i like, hardly ever cry reading fics. rey’s an artist that creates a sculpture (ben) that comes to life. such a beautiful fic, i absolutely adore it.

big dick problems by TourmalineGreen modern au. rey and ben are co-workers at a book store and ben being a kind of aloof person, rey thinks he hates her (she’s wrong ofc asdklfjsd). anyway one day at work she sees that he was browsing the r/bigdickproblems subreddit on his phone aaaand i won’t say more. seriously, go read this. it’s SUCH a good fic, ben & rey are so in character and it’s a good plot.. it’s one of those fics that i’m definitely gonna come back to re-read a bunch of times.

rebel side of heaven by jeeno2 modern au. ben and rey are friends, but i guess they’re more so acquaintances in the same friend group. ben’s a virgin and rey offers to teach him about sex but unbeknownst to her, ben’s got a massive crush on her 😏

tattooed heart by KyloTrashForever modern au. one of the best modern au fics i’ve ever read. i stayed up all night reading it, it was soooo good. just. the smut, the fluff. i can’t recommend it enough. the description: “ Rey Johnson has found herself down on her luck lately. A week long vacation to Hawaii for her best friend’s destination wedding should be just the thing she needs, only her day has been hell. Hell, her year has been hell. When the hot bartender with that fucking mouth makes her an enticing proposition, she finds herself unable to refuse. Besides, it isn’t as if she’ll ever see him again...”

sealed to me by glittergothh canonverse and takes place after tlj. this could serve as a tros fix it tbh because it’s like it’s own movie. i love the plot and ben & rey are so in character. the knights of ren actually play an integral part in this. love the finn/ben interactions.

love like ghosts by Yours_Truly_Commander_Shepard canonverse. my favorite tros fix-it fic so far. features the world between worlds, ezra, ahsoka, and anakin. rey goes back in time to save ben. and the scene where rey visits ben on mustafar 👀🔥 LORD. i LOVE this so much and it was just what i needed to read after the train wreck that was tros.

I've Got You, Babe by crossingwinter modern au. oneshot. a REALLY cute t-rated fic about ben taking care of rey after she gets the flu :’)

charcoal and petals by Hormonal_Trashbag modern au. a really sweet tattoo artist/flower shop worker fic that i really enjoyed! i’m a sucker for this trope because of abigeyedowl’s gorgeous tattoo-artist!ben and florist!rey art tbh

9 Pints by tigbit modern au. ben’s a vampire. oh my god this fic is amazing. it’s still ongoing but some of the best smut i’ve EVER read. a bit of a slow burn but man. it’s so good.

miles from where you are by Mooncactus modern au. i hardly EVER read anything under M but this has to be one of THE best reylo fics i’ve ever read. their characterizations, the slow burn, oh my god. it’s SO good and funny and fluffy. enemies to lovers perfection. the description: “After an argument over Star Wars fandom with a "gatekeeping, entitled monster" with the cryptic username of KyloRen, Rey finds herself stuck in a series of unavoidable video calls.”

saving mr. wanks by LovesBitca8 modern au. oneshot. rey catches ben in the act of uh, wanking off in the men’s restroom lmfaooo. it’s rare when a fic actually makes me like cry of laughter and this fic was hilarious. and the SMUT oh my god. so good.

auld lang syne by KyloTrashForever modern au. oneshot. ben and rey are roommates. ben keeps getting text messages from an unknown number with uh, explicit pictures and he eventually accuses rey of sending them to him ASLKDFJSD. i won’t say more because i don’t wanna spoil it but i love this fic sm.

bliss, balance and birth by crossingwinter canonverse. oneshot. ben teaches their daughter how to read. this is SO cute and just what i needed to read after tros.

gorgeous by Ever-so-reylo (Ever_So_Reylo) modern au. ben and rey are co-workers and they end up having to go on a company retreat. enemies to lovers perfection

caught in the headlights by jeeno2 modern au. twoshot. “Rey Johnson forgets to wear a bra to work. Fortunately, nobody notices. (Except for Ben Solo.)” 😏

transference by fear_of_being_bitten modern au. ongoing. rey is ben’s psychologist so this is definitely a taboo fic but GOD the tension between them is like no other fic i’ve read. ben’s an asshole with this air of bravado about him because he’s trying to cover up his insecurities and rey is having none of his shit no matter how much he tries to push her buttons. it’s so well written and another one of the best reylo fics i’ve read. i’m so eager for each update to the fic. here’s an excerpt:

“So you enjoy controlling powerful women,” Rey repeats, making her voice sound uninterested.  She takes notes, although it’s unlikely she’ll forget a word of what he’s saying.  It gives her an excuse to look away from him.

“I do.  But it’s not the taking of the control that I like.  I’m big enough that I can take whatever I want.”

me when i read that:

aaaand that’s it for now. i’m still continuing to read fic like every day since i got laid off (thanks covid lmao) so feel free to hit me up in a few weeks or months or whatever and i’ll share more of my fave fics <3

[thoschei-rights]

Even more Who Fic ideas I can’t write bc I’m lazy

Okay maybe not lazy- I don’t think I’m lazy? I just really struggle keeping attention, and after a paragraph I’m bored? I struggle to stick with thing?? Idk? I dunno how to explain- but yeah take my ideas and run with them if you like them?? Heck if you write them, hit me up, and I’ll literally link them in this post <3

Okay so some of these exist already but they’re all mostly text fics? But can we please have more Eleven/Dhawan!Master fics?? I think the fandom has mostly just accepted their original meeting was while he was Eleven because he’s the only New Who Doctor not to have a Master Post-Ten? (Look I bolded post-ten so yall don’t think I’m ignoring Nine and The War Doc??) Can we not have the Master lowkey flirting with Eleven and Eleven being flustered af bc Eleven was a baby :’) Idk? I just- I have no excuses haha

This is an idea Ive had for a while, because I like River and y’know? Space Wives?? Please? :’) But anyway, my biggest love would be Thirteen in the Library episodes? Thirteen lowkey infiltrating the exploration squad or whatever the fudge they were called, she could pass as a normal person albeit a bit eccentric? Because River definitely doesn’t know that face if the Husbands of River Song is anything to go by? Thirteen promising herself she’s not there to get involved or change anything, she’s just there to see River one more time- but then Oop- she get’s involved gg :’) Its up to you how much she changes, if anything gets overwritten? Go crazy yo-

This prompt contains Broadchurch S2 spoilers btw Okay this one is a crossover? Sorry. Normally I’m not a crossover person, I just don’t like them most of the time unless they’re really well written? I read an amazing D:BH x Marvel crossover once?? ANYWAY. I’m going off on one... Broadchurch x Who fics aren’t rare.. but ones including Thirteen are hella rare and it makes me so sad?? But anyway, I finished season 2 the other day and lol at they end, Paul is all like lol bye Joe off to Sheffield you go... and I’m just there fucking screaming? Imagine right? Joe is just chilling in Sheffield being the shitstain that he is? And he sees Thirteen? and he’s like? fuck? what? help? Extra points if she’s being super gay with Yaz or she’s lowkey with the Master :’) but either way Joe is pissing himself bc he’s like holy fuck i’m being haunted or karma or- idk :’) extra extra points if Thirteen spots this random human staring and thinks he’s being homophobic or racist or smth and she lowkey gives him a glare and hESHJBF,DJKBFHDHJKFSDG I’m fine. fuck. i’m honestly fine. Joe deserves jail thanks he made my baby cry :ccc

nOW I have that out of the way- iMAgine lets kill hitler but when River gives him her regenerative shizzle, it heals him yes, but he also regenerates into Twelve? bc by this point the ponds have witnessed Mels > River regeneration so they’re aware of the concept? but now? their young energetic puppy of a doctor is a grumpy scot? and they’re whiplash af? but they aren’t the type to get judgemental? bc he’s still the doctor? I think if the ponds ever had to deal with a regen, they’re definitely in the group that would be accepting and wouldn’t taken ten years to get over it (LOOKING AT YOU CLARA YOU MEANIE???) Rory having a mid-life crisis bc now he has TWO anger scot peoples 

Clara breaking Thirteen out of prison bc we’ve all seen the Jack versions but hi Clara can’t get back to Gallifrey to be put back in her timestream if iTS ALL DESTROYED SO IS SHE IMMORTAL??/ Anyway yeah Clara is like lmao psyche I’m gonna go save the dork from prison bc ur not telling me she doesn’t keep tabs on him? pft. Thirteen is like woah holy shit Clara? and Clara is like woah holy shit yoU REMEMBER ME AND YOU’RE GORGEOUS AND WOAH SHIT NOW IM GAY?? :’) and then Jack bursts in and he’s like oh i was late which one of you are the doctor- :’) 

Asylum of the Daleks except Eleven literally takes Dalek Oswin with him? and news spreads among the universe? the doctor and a dalek> traveling? together? it causes the biggest shOOKETH in the history of shOOKETHs? imagine landing places and peoples reactions to a fuCKING DaleK OH SHIT WE GON DIE but then woah?? a literal sassy female-sounding dalek? hi bye wtf? Yes. We stan Dalek Oswin.

Thasmin bc I need to make sure yall know deSPITE THE USERNAME I DO ACTUALLY DIE FOR THASMIN TOO YKNOW??? anyway, the house-tardis (housis) likes Yaz, bc everyone likes Yaz, have you met her? she’s precious? we love? anyway the housis takes Yaz to the Doctor bc Yaz is lowkey begging bc she needs to save her- she doesn’t know what happens but- she hopes and- anyway the housis takes her to prison and yeet Yaz is a badass and breaks her out? Thirteen is like woAH im gay af when Yaz deadass throws a guard over her shoulder or smth and she’s like I DONT APPROVE OF TH E VIOLEN C E but she’s also gay crisis af :’) we just have lots of prison break alternatives in this church

Can i throw in another broadchurch crossover? I like these... The Master escapes the Kasaavin realm and ends up in Broadchurch? He’s bare confused why everyone looks like the doctor or his/her/their human pets :’) he lowkey does double takes every two seconds. without a tardis he’s forced to live as a human for a bit, while trying to contact the doctor, bc as much as he doesnt wanna admit it, he needs her to give him a lift to his tardis lmao- anyway she eventually turns up and idk , everything falls to shit bc the general public are so confused bc now there’s two beths :’)

the fam end up in petes world after a shitshow in the votex :’) maybe someone crashes into them (lol probably the master being a bish) and yep. thirteen is like o shit nope i cant do this- but the fam wanna explore, so she can’t refuse. and ofc, cliche af but oFC THEY RUN INTO ROSE? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? WE NEED BLONDE BABIES TOGETHER THANKS? maybe thirteen is trying to pretend to be normal and human and its a disaster and the fam are confused but play along, maybe they’re dragged into an alien issue and its all running and shit? maybe meta doc is dead? maybe thirteen wants to tell rose who she is so bad but? she cant? things are so different now? she’s changed so much> she’s scared? jkhflkjhg precious- but yeah take it as you wANT YO

the fam meeting missy. you can set missy pre-dhawan, post-dhawan, I’m not bothered? personally I really like post-dhawan but it’s fine. the fam are like oo whose this aND IT DOESNT CONNECT THEY’RE THE MASTER BC MISSY IS A NORMAL NAME SO THEY DONT THINK- but then it comes to light and they’re like HYJKFGUIGFDSLUHGSUHL maybe they’re angry and confrontational, maybe they’re defensive and shook?? i dunno but missy and fam are the dream squad thanks-

same as last time, this has lots of typos and gramatical errors, shit punctuation and half the time i forgot to capatalize... BUT i lowkey have a big ass bandage around a finger on my left hand and its hard to type- (i was a numpty and cut a bit off my finger at work) SO YEAH I HAVE AN EXCUSE- ?? haha jokes im just a mess... but yeah I’ll fix this post up evenbtually... 

[kyluxtrashpit]

2019 Fic Recap

So I’ve done this for the past few years and I started doing it at the end of 2019 but never managed to finish it. I think between TROS and IRL and then I got really, really sick, I just haven’t had the chance to do so. But fuck it, I decided to finish it anyway even though it’s now 3 months late lmao. So anyway, a recap of my 2019 fics

Total wordcount: 96 419 words. Which is less than last year, but still not too shabby. I wish I could’ve banged something out to get it over 100k but eh, it just didn’t happen. I definitely have enough wip words and whatnot to get me over that bump, though

Tough Love, 6572 words, posted Jan 17

So this was an experimental one. As you all know, I’m pretty hard on the sub!Kylo/dom!Hux train. But I had a conversation with a friend and it turned into one of those ‘okay, I don’t like x dynamic because of a, b, and c. But is it possible to write x without those and make it into something I like?’ and as it turns out, yes, yes it was. Thus this fic happened and here we are. I still really like it and I have a lot of Feelings on this dynamic vs the one I usually write, but that’s an essay in and of itself lmao. It got some great feedback too, which was cool

Take My Breath Away, 1230 words, posted Feb 7

Ah yes, this one, which was based off a throwaway KOTOR ability but was an excuse for me to write Kylo getting stuffed from both ends with some asphyxiation thrown in. And also extremely rough sex + softer aftercare is a weakness of mine haha, so I just had to do it

Fix You, 1994 words, posted Feb 10

So this was my first piece for Bad Things Happen Bingo, which is an event I’m still planning to finish at some point lmao, and that I’ve had a lot of fun with so far. This fic was another that I tried for a more ‘classic’ feel with, though it’s a lot softer. The uncomfortable intimacy. The ‘feelings are happening but we won’t talk about them’. The shaky trust. All of that good stuff. I had fun with it

Keep Your Enemies Closer, 1657 words, posted Feb 24

Another for BTHB! I just love when Hux wins, okay. And I think this was one of those time periods where Kylo was doing all the winning in fics and I just. Needed something different lmao. Emperor Hux remains one my all time fave ideas and it’s still a shame canon never gave it to us. But I have the power to make it happen, so I did. Plus Kylo in a shock collar is always fun >:)

Indulgence, 17 357 works, completed Apr 19, first posted Mar 28

So! This was a continuation to my experiment from above and really it was just an excuse for lots of smut and pampering lmao. Much as I had thought I had said everything I wanted to say with Tough Love, apparently I had not, and this monstrosity formed. There may be a third, more serious piece to finish off the series this year, but I haven’t decided yet. Although, I have to admit, I’m still surprised how poorly this fic did feedback-wise, especially compared to its predecessor and considering it’s the more popular dynamic these days. Tbh some of my best smut is in this fic imo, but ah well, sometimes people just don’t like things and I suppose I have to accept that, even if I’m really, really proud of that thing

(Okay and the rest are behind a cut for length)

Best Served Bloody, 2666 words, posted Apr 29

Another BTHB and, again, not much deeper to it. Beating up Brendol is always fun though lmao. And when I was writing this, I really wanted Hux to be the one to strike at his father. A lot of pieces have Kylo doing it, which is great, but I wanted to do something a little different. I wanted Hux to have the power to save himself. It was fun to write in that way, as a powerful revenge fantasy

The Best, 6450 words, posted May 12

Ah, now this was a fun one lmao. It was born of a horny crack idea but I can’t do real crack, so it ended up as crack treated seriously. And really, I just wanted an excuse to have Kylo sucking dick. A lot of dick. All the dicks he can find lmao. Slutty Kylo fic remains my favourite pwp, so I gotta contribute to the cause, you know. It was a delight to write, though challenging cause it kept turning me on LMAO. Totally worth it though. It was one of the most fun this year for sure

Be My Outlet, 1003 words, posted May 23

There’s not really much of a story behind this one haha. I was horny and I wanted some classic, Not Nice Hux and hatefucking, thus this exists. Plus I miss Kylo getting choked and it’s rare these days to see stuff quite this rough. I also have a bit of a somnophilia thing, which this sort of fits in to. And I’m always a fan of messy, masochist Kylo. So yeah. Idk it’s smut lmao what else could we want? It’s just a short little pwp, but I had a lot of fun with it and it was nice to revisit the classic kylux days

Safe Harbour, 1616 words, posted Jun 13

This one was for kyluxomegaverse week and it was very fun. A/b/o is one of those tropes where I really, really like a lot of it, but there’s also some stuff that’s much less my cup of tea. So I don’t write a lot of it, even though there are aspects of it that I adore. Which this one includes a lot of lmao. I think the nesting is fucking adorable and I wanted to write something soft, so here we are. Plus omega!Kylo is just delightful. Also looking back on it now, this one did really well? Holy shit, I had no idea it was that popular!

With Dignity, 4475 words, posted Jul 1

This was the last for BTHB that I managed last year (and I still intend to finish my card eventually, it’s just been a rough go so far this year lmao). I’m actually very proud of this one because this is the exact sort of angst I love to write. I didn’t intend for it to be as heavy as it ended up being, but when I started looking up the mechanics of force-feeding and reading about the experience of it, the plan changed drastically because holy fuck. I had never thought of it as that much of a torture before. I also enjoy with Hux like, making the reader feel bad for him while also actively reminding them he’s awful and getting that perfect cognitive dissonance. So this was a great excuse to do exactly that. And I love how tough he is even in such circumstances. Despite the heavy subject matter, I had a blast with this one

Greener Grass, 3389 words, posted Jul 14

This one was originally a twitter thread that really got away from me lmao, so I edited it and put it on ao3 because I really liked it. I’ve always liked self-cest as a concept and I thought it’d be interesting for Kylo to interact with a version of himself that made some different choices. One that was happier. And then we see Kylo through Ben’s eyes, see what the dark side has wrought for him. And then, of course, some smut to pull it all together lmao. It was a really fun character study and I had a grand time with it

Subliminal, 5719 words, posted Aug 23

This one! Okay so I’m pretty sure I sent in a couple of khk prompts over the years that were basically this, but no one ever wrote them so I finally did it. I’m honestly surprised hypno kink isn’t actually used more in kylux, considering Hux is canonically in charge of the brainwashing program. So much potential. So I had to write it. I also went down quite a few rabbit holes in researching this (with mixed success lmao) and learned a whole lot about hypno kink in the process. I may have even acquired it as a fetish lmao. But anyway, this one’s a bit darker and it’s fun to write those every once in a while. I think I pulled it off well too

Ashes Among the Stars, 36634 words, posted Dec 1

Ah and my big bang this year! I had a blast with this one although it was quite the challenge. My first fandom was gundam so when I saw this prompt I was very intrigued and ended up getting it. This fic had a lot more world-building than I usually do, which was the primary challenge as I basically had to take aspects from both franchises and sew them together into a new world of its own. I think I did that rather successfully tbh. The plot gave me trouble too but also gave me some of my best eureka moments haha. My partner was also wonderful and made the experience that much better. I know crossovers don’t tend to perform as well, so I was expecting that, though I do wish some more people had given it a chance since I wrote it specifically so that no prior knowledge was needed. But alas, I’m still incredibly proud of it. It’s also my second longest fic ever!

Filthy, 5657 words, posted Dec 9

And here it is, the gangbang fic I’ve always wanted to exist lmao. I had wanted to write this one for a long time, but I could never figure out how to end it, what circumstances would lead to the gangbang. Then a convo with friends gave me the idea and boom, I could finally write it. This fic is just straight up smut and I fucking love it lmao. There needs to be more Kylo gangbang fics tbh

What have I learned?

Last year wasn’t as successful for writing as I’d hoped, given that I wrote less in 2019 than I did in 2018. But also a lot of things happened to me last year. I got a new role at work. My dad had a heart attack (he’s okay though). I had a pretty rough time with my mental health. And then there was the lead up to TROS and the frankly unnecessary amount of stress that caused me. So there was a lot going on and working against me, which is a large part of why I didn’t manage to write as much as I’d hoped I would, and there’s a lot in my folder that I started but just wasn’t able to finish before the end of the year. I worried for a while I was losing interest, but looking back, no, it was definitely the IRL shit lmao. That said, I’m also extremely happy with all of the pieces I did finish, regardless of how well they did. I’m proud of them and I loved writing them, even when it was difficult

One of my goals from last year was to write more, which I didn’t manage, and to get better at answering comments, which I think I did well on for the most part up until post-TROS lmao. I also wanted to do the big bang again (and I was hoping for a reverse, which it was!) and I did. And I also wanted to have fun and keep my confidence with my writing, which I think I was the most successful at. I feel really good about everything I made and I really enjoyed writing them, even if I didn’t manage to finish everything

Goals for 2020?

I think part of the reason I didn’t finish this post in 2019 is because of my TROS breakdown and subsequent stresses associated with it. Because I wasn’t sure what I wanted or what I was going to do. Sometimes I wanted to give up and find a new fandom/ship, other times I was sure I was over it and going to just do whatever the fuck I wanted, and then there was every emotion in between

Now, though, I’m sure I’m going to keep writing here. I haven’t managed much this year yet, but I can feel it coming back to me. I have a post-TROS fic I managed to solve a major problem with the other day. I also have renben as a new ship to excite me. And I still have a lot of wips and BTHB and various others I desperately want to do. Right now, I feel good about my writing and my interest in it is back to normal, which is great. So this year? I’m not going to set a hard goal. I’d love to write more than last year and maybe I will, but it’s okay if I don’t. I’d love to do another big bang this year, but I’m not going to kick myself if I can’t handle it when that time comes. I’d love to finish BTHB, but if it stretches into another year, who cares? My only goal is to just keep writing and keep enjoying it. I want to have fun with it. I want to be happy with whatever pieces I do manage to put out. I want to set aside time to read more fics from others, if I can. And I think all of those will really help with my mental health, which is starting to recover right now, and that’s what’s most important of all

Also thank you all for your patience with me. I know I’ve not been responsive, here or on twitter or to comments, but I am trying my best. It’s been a rough go and I don’t like to whine too much in my fandom spaces. I don’t know when or even if I’ll get back to normal, but I’m trying, and that’s what matters. I love every one of you on here <3

[in-a-cave-with]

What are your favorite fanfictions based in any of the Marvel comics universes?

ok this is certainly a . question. lmao . so i..have bookmarked like Three 616 fic on my actual ao3 account and i honestly dont know why. i have read so much 616 fic but i never bothered to make it a habit to .. save them . so rip me. this will be an incomplete list! huge f in the chat lads

there’s also the issue of like. pretty much all of the comics fic i like being, uh, stevetony. im a loser.

anyway.

When The Lights Go On Again by elspethdixon, seanchaiSummary: Aliens have invaded earth, and the Avengers are scattered. While Steve leads the resistance, Tony once again finds himself playing captive scientist. In the midst of a violent alien regime, separated by seemingly insurmountable boundaries, Steve and Tony have nothing to keep themselves going but each other.rec note: i JUST read this fic and it ruined my life. go read it and ruin your life too

Resurrection, Reconstruction & Redemption by elspethdixon, seanchaiSummary: Doom brings Steve back from the dead. Hijinks ensue, some of which might vaugely be considered plot.rec note: a classic! i think this was the first stevetony fic posted to ao3? you should def go ahead and read the rest of the series (yes it is a series yes it is 300k+ words yes it is worth it)

The Roughest Day by elspethdixon, seanchaiSummary: Steve is in a motorcycle accident, Tony catches a cold, and someone is after the New Avengers.rec note: this gives me warm fuzzies because it’s the new avengers avenging and there isn’t enough of that

King of Infinite Space by elspethdixon, seanchaiSummary: A villain from Tony’s past comes back to cause trouble for the Avengers. Maybe it wouldn’t have been so easy, if things weren’t already so awkward over the events of Execute Program.rec note: it’s not a tony stan created reclist if there isn’t a tiberius stone fic somewhere on it

Winter Is All Over You by KiyaarSummary: Tony can’t remember why he’s running.rec note: *soft wheezing noises* oh,

My Mallory Heart [Add Violence Remix] by KiyaarSummary: He keeps seeing that bundle of metal set into Tony’s bare chest, the raw edges around it like Tony’s body was rejecting it. Keeps wondering: what have you done to yourself this time.rec note: *incoherent blubbering*

Sea Stars by MuccamukkSummary: Steve comes back to life somewhere entirely unexpected; Tony doesn’t remember being a hero; something is rotten in the province of British Columbia, and the 2010 Olympics are doomed.rec note: i LIVE for this fic it’s so good. the setting…the mystery…the characterization…top notch

Indelible by PenumbrenSummary: When an experiment goes awry, Tony thinks he may have found an answer to his problems and Steve faces something he’s been avoiding for a very long time.rec note: this turned out to be way sadder than i thought it was going to be

(Not So) Lonely At The Top by foldingcranesSummary: Riri has a bad day, and Tony tries to be An Emotionally Available Adult for her. It doesn’t go so bad.rec note: there isn’t enough riri fic out there…

if you leave by CapnShellheadSummary: After so many months passing each other in silence, Steve and Tony find a marriage counselor to try to work through their issues with communication.rec note: warning: fic is akin to a bat swung to the knees

Marvels: The Bloodstone Odyssey by teaberryblueSummary: The year is 1940. In the middle of the Blitz, Tony Stark and Pepper Potts set out to London to recover Howard Stark’s lost work. But it turns out that they’re not the only ones hunting for it. Tony finds himself contending with Nazis, crooks, and perhaps his most formidable adversary yet: a scrawny, asthmatic, bullheaded kid named Steve Rogers.rec note: this gives me huge indiana jones vibes and it’s GREAT

Emanata (The Comics Will Break Your Heart Remix) by teaberryblueSummary: Steve Rogers has the opportunity to fulfill his childhood dreams of becoming a comic artist when eccentric billionaire, superhero patron, and obsessive comic enthusiast Tony Stark offers him a job drawing Iron Man. But Tony Stark has no idea that Steve Rogers is really Captain America, the newest member of the Avengers. And Iron Man has no idea that Captain America is really Steve Rogers, up-and-coming comic book artist. And Steve doesn’t know what to do about the fact that he’s falling head over heels for them both.rec note: this one has a special place in my heart bc it’s the one that got me into 616 stevetony! the identity shenanigans make my head hurt and i love it

Genesis by teaberryblueSummary: Reluctant to make the truth about their secret weapon known, the American Government tells the world that Captain America is a man named Steve Rogers. According to public record, he died, tragically, in 1945, and he became legend. In 1998, the Avengers find a body trapped in ice. She’s alive. Her name is Eve. She has Captain America’s shield.rec note: i think this is the..only steve centric fic here lmao . and also technically this is a mix of 616/mcu/ults but i’m still putting it here bc it’s…very good

Highest fall you’ll ever grace by laireshiSummary: “You’ll probably want these back,” Tony says at last, and it hurts almost physically to pull the dog tags over his head and offer them to Steve. But they never really belonged to Tony, did they? Steve seems to hesitate for a second, but then he takes his dog tags with a weird expression. “Yeah,” he says. “They’re mine.”rec note: *clutches heart* hhhh

Transmission by laireshiSummary: The incursions are stopped. Steve hopes for things to go back to normal. Instead, he finds himself stranded in an alternate universe with Tony. Getting home won’t be easy. There are too many things they haven’t told each other, too many arguments they’ve never solved. Now, with just each other for company, they might have to face them all—especially as they seem to be telepathically bonded, and can’t keep anything unsaid anymore.rec note: oh boy am i a sucker for Stevetony Finding Out About The Confession

Chasing Shadows by laireshiSummary: Steve is still adjusting to the future. Tony hopes he is helping, but Steve’s and Iron Man’s morals might be too different for them to work together. Then Steve starts to act strangely, and all Tony can do is chase at shadows.rec note: this fic hurt me . that’s it that’s all i have to say

The Counselors Are In by cptxrogersSummary: Steve and Tony from Avengers Assemble open a counseling service for all the other Steves and Tonys from across the multiverse. God knows they need it.rec note: come on Other Universes GET IT TOGETHER

Think of This as Solving Problems (That Should Never Have Occurred) by SinealaSummary: No one knows Tony is Iron Man. Then Tony gets amnesia, and literally no one knows Tony is Iron Man.rec note: ok here comes the sineala spam in the reclist lmao

The Jar by SinealaSummary: The Avengers are ridiculously competitive people, and what starts out as a silly late-night team discussion quickly becomes a contest: their names. Not the code names – the nicknames. Who can go the longest without using them? They pledge to spend a week not nicknaming each other, and they’ll pay up every time they mess up. This hits Tony the hardest, and not just financially. Tony’s got a lot of nicknames for everyone, but most of all for Steve – and when Tony can’t use the names he’s already got, the names he uses reveal feelings he had no idea he had.rec note: super cute! lov those funky avenging dudes

Changeling by SinealaSummary: Instead of deleting his entire brain and reloading from a backup, Tony attempts to erase just the SHRA database from his mind. As Steve later finds out, this is unfortunately not what he actually did.rec note: *ugly sobbing* ttngngjfgnTONY ,.,,,,CAROLLLLL ,,FDF..,,KSDJBVSD ,,,S T E V E..,,,, FVKJD,,,,SFDJKDNFVNKDJFD

If You Want to Live (The Historical Present Remix) by SinealaSummary: The Civil War is over. The SHRA is gone. Steve has been brought back to life. He’s settling into his new duties as America’s top cop. His longtime friendship with Carol Danvers – Avenger, former director of SHIELD, and former leader of the pro-Registration forces – is now a tenuous one. But something is very wrong in the world. This isn’t how it was supposed to be. Someone is missing. Tony Stark was killed at the age of seventeen, and it’s up to Steve to travel into the past to save a man he doesn’t remember from a man he knows all too well: a mysterious assassin from another time and place, a man with a metal arm. And the truth is more complicated than anyone could ever have guessed.rec note: super interesting fic! the Plot is,,……. some güd shit

Straight on till Morning by SinealaSummary: Tony Stark resigned his commission in Starfleet five years ago, after a disastrous away mission, and he swore he’d never go back. He just wants to be left alone to build warp engines in peace. But the universe has more in store for him than that, as he discovers when Admiral Fury comes to him with an offer he could never have expected and cannot possibly refuse: first officer and chief engineer aboard the all-new USS Avenger, a starship of Tony’s own design. What’s more, the Avenger’s captain is Steve Rogers, hero of the Earth-Romulan War. Believed dead for over a century, Steve is miraculously alive… and very, very attractive. But nothing is ever easy for Tony. As he wrestles with his secret desire for his new captain and his not-so-dormant fears, another mission starts to go wrong, and Tony becomes aware that Steve has secrets of his own – and the truth could change everything.rec note: ok there is, like, really weird porn in this fic but it’s a STAR TREK CROSSOVER and that’s all that really matters. and also it’s very heartfelt and the action is  r e a l l y   i n t e n s e

Your Name on Every Wall by SinealaSummary: The Time Gem throws Steve into the past rather than the future, and in doing so, it gives him the opportunity to undo his past mistakes. But when it turns out that all of his mistakes involve Tony Stark, Steve begins to wonder if he’s ever going to be able to mend things between them.rec note: wow…….stevetony…….. am i right boys?

Get Some Now by SinealaSummary: Avengers Mansion has a mysterious feline infestation. Meanwhile, Steve just can’t figure out how to ask Tony out on a date. And the thirteen teleporting cats sure aren’t helping matters any.rec note: as you all may know. i am an active member of the “tony…..but give him a cat” movement and this fic brings me great joy

Sucker Punch by Sineala Summary: Steve never quite warms to Tony Stark, Avengers benefactor. The Molecule Man never strips Iron Man out of his armor. Life goes on for the Avengers, but as disagreements split the team – and Shellhead and Winghead – again and again, Steve wonders why Iron Man always picks Tony over him. And when Steve finds out, it happens in the worst way possible.rec note: and here is a fic that does NOT bring me great joy and instead goes out of its way to hurt me in every way it can

Tony Stark Advises The Avengers by copperbadgeSummary: Somehow, Tony Stark ended up Team Dad.rec note: ANAD AVENGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Zero Sum by CraitSummary: Did you do your best, Anthony? And did your best only make things worse?rec note: let ao3 user crait write marvel comics, they clearly understand tony’s character better than anyone who’s written him in the past 10 years

[randomestfandoms-ocs]

On Fic Recs

So in the past couple of weeks, I’ve been getting a lot of fic recs out of nowhere - people who I’ve never talked to just messaging me going “you should read this fic”, a lot of anonymous asks, and more than usual from my friends, and I need to address it

Please, don’t spam me with them.  I have my own read list that I’ve been trying to get through since christmas and I still haven’t, and getting more suggested to me is very very anxiety inducing.  

And if you are going to rec any fics to me, here are my (relatively simple) requests

Please, don’t make this your very first message to me.  If we’ve never spoken before, getting a message out of nowhere to go and read a fic will make me freak out, and will very possibly make me cry.  It just makes me feel like you’re trying to get something from me and like I’m a terrible person for choosing not to but !! I don’t always want to read them - I’ve gotten a lot of recs for fandoms I don’t know, and some with extremely triggering content for me and it’s just a mess

Please don’t rec them on anon, it has the same effect as point 1

Please, don’t send me like five recs in a row; I barely have time to read anything on my own list let alone to add new fics to that

and some fandom specific things

Riverdale: Don’t rec any Riverdale fics to me.  Just don’t.  I may write for it but honestly Riverdale is a fucking shitshow and a shit show, there are so many aspects of it that I absolutely hate, and on the rare occasion that I do want to read anything Riverdale, I have a million and one different tags to filter out just to avoid that.  Some of my friends have Riverdale fics and ocs and I can make the choice of whether or not I want to read it but generally I know them, and I know their opinions and their characterization and I can decide for myself if it’s something that I would enjoy

13 Reasons Why: just fucking don’t.  This show triggers the fuck out of me and literally every fic that’s been suggested to me has a Hannah’s sister oc and jfc y’all I have enough issues with siblings dying in media, I don’t need a fic summary to trigger a panic attack.  I vaguely have my own 13rw sister oc but I can only even think about her once in a blue moon, as determined by my own mental state, and I’m only willing to be exposed to this fandom when I’m in very specific mental states and that’s that

It: okay so I’ve been getting a lot of It recs lately which is probably bc I’ve been posting primarily about my own It ocs and that’s fair but just... I’m not going to read any Eddie x Female OC fics, don’t recommend them to me.  I’ve been a part of this fandom for over ten years (yes I was way too young to have read it, yes I did it anyways, fuck you librarian who told me I was too young for real books) and my opinions have not changed once since then.  I am absolutely only open to gay Eddie - I’m a huge fan of poly losers but even then I only fuck with it when Eddie is still gay and Bev is a sort of exception - and while I obviously can’t force anyone to agree with me (my main blog has some reblogged posts about this, I’m not open for debate), seeing Eddie portrayed as bi or straight makes me extremely uncomfortable due to the specifically gay coding in the book (which yes, the movie left a lot of that out, but that doesn’t change it for me).  It leaves an icky feeling with me so I choose to actively avoid it as a concept and in the past like, five days, I’ve had half a dozen separate messages and anonymous asks reccing Eddie x Female Character (oc, crossover fandom, canon) fics and just, no thank you

Marvel: if the fic bashes any avenger, I’m not reading it.  I’m not here for Tony bashing, I’m not here for Steve bashing, I’m definitely not here for “clint is useless” (like bitch he’s my fave fight me) and ik that bashing fics became even more popular after civil war but I’m not here for it

That’s all I can think of off the top of my head, and I’m really sorry if this comes across as harsh or unreasonable but I’ve had so many anxiety attacks and guilt spirals in the past couple of weeks for not wanting (or sometimes just not having time) to read fics that people are trying to tell me to read and I really have to say something.  Obviously to my close friends, if you come across a fic that you think I’d like (knowing my fandoms and opinions and etc lmao) then you can DM me, and I’m still trying to get through my oc community friends’ fics, but please keep this in mind because I can’t keep dealing with this level of anxiety over something as simple as fanfics

[tobns]

so even though i literally owe no one a single explanation, i wanted to take a second while i’m not doing much of anything and...ramble, i guess, about the last month or so. feel free to look at it under the cut, and even if you don’t read all of it, just peep at the first paragraph, it’s for you!

i guess i’ll preface this by saying TO ALL OF THE NEW PEOPLE WHO’VE FOLLOWED ME OVER THE LAST FEW DAYS: hi hello welcome to my blog i’m em and i love you, you are very special and worthy and amazing and i hope you enjoy my blog and the shit i post and know i consider you a friend and am here for you always if you ever wanna talk or need someone to vent to about literally anything from real world problems to fandom feels, i got you ♡

before i begin, if you read ANY part of this below pretty pretty please send asks in my inbox telling me what you think, alright??? ‘cause i do need opinions on some stuff below, so thank you thank you thank you in advance!!!

moving along!

so, number one: as you can probably tell, writing has been kinda slim to none around here lately, and i really don’t know what to tell y’all. i don’t have any kind of grand “oh i’ve been away!” excuse, my reasoning is pretty straightforward — my motivation has been low, i’ve been putting a little more time into exploring solo muses/characters, and as of the last week or so, completely had it with certain, toxic as hell fandoms. one of my really good friends makes youtube videos and she made a video this last week i resonated so much with, where she basically talked about how she was turning youtube into a chore and wasn’t having any fun with it. she was making layouts and trying to pep herself into actually Doing Shit and when the time came, she was completely disappointed with the quality or couldn’t bring herself to finish, and i was screaming “why is this my life??” the whole damn time because i absolutely could relate to it. watching that video made me realize that a) i was turning my fic writing/video editing into something like a chore, i was beating myself up when i didn’t do something on time and could never get it done when i forced myself to work on stuff and that’s so the wrong way to go about it, and b) i’m just not really passionate about what i’m writing now. i’m not. do i love cdg/grey’s? yes, i do, and i still have every intention to finish that story. but like i said, i realized earlier that this is not my job. no one other than myself is forcing me to crank out updates, and the reason i force myself to crank out these updates is because i’m scared that if i take time away from my stuff, when i come back to it, i’ve lost a readership. and it’s incredibly, incredibly hard finding a balance — i want an audience because what’s the point in sharing my shit if no one else is looking, but at the same time i also want to take my time with stories on days where i don’t feel motivated and want to be a little lazy and still maintain that readership, not have them jump ship. i and i’ve had it happen and it completely stripped my desire to even WRITE for a fandom away, and i love grey’s too much to ever want that to happen. but of course, lately all i feel inspired to write is slexie, which died out five years ago, so my readers are slim as is. see my dilemma? it’s a hard, hard thing for me to find a perfect balance with because i either work myself into the ground or neglect it entirely, but it all comes back to the root of this: i’ve come back to terms with the fact that this is not my job, i’m not answering to anyone other than me, i don’t have a paycheck on the line, i’m not under any other restrictions other than the ones i set for myself, and i’m just overall too hard on myself when it comes to something THAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN. it’s supposed to be FUN. FANDOM. IS. SUPPOSED. TO. BE. FUN.

and so that’s what i’m trying to do. have fun. write the stuff i want to write because i want to write it, not because i’m feeling obligated or pressuring myself to, but because i’m passionate about it and i want to write it. the saying’s true, if you’re passionate about what you’re putting your effort into, it shows, and i think that is certainly true for all of the fics that have seen any sort of remote success, save for a couple. when my heart’s in the right place, the reactions reflect, and even though that’s a very fucking blind process for me to trust, i’m gonna trust it. 

therefore, i have a fewwwwww little things i wanna let you know about if you do follow my creations

i’ll start with the short one: videos. 

i have not been inspired to make another fucking video because, once again, i keep comparing my shit to others and just not having fun, making it into a job and thinking more about the destination rather than the journey (a very big problem i have that i’m trying to work on). if i’m passionate about it, expect me to edit it. it may not be the greatest, most wonderful video on youtube you’ve EVER SEEN, but i just wanna edit stuff that makes me happy. expect videos for fics that i’ll touch on below, expect videos with more of my favorite musicians and shows and just less of the shit i don’t really want to edit. (this is me, repeating this phrase a lot in order for it to sink into my brain and register okay)

and...now for the not so short one (i’m trying to make this as spaced out, brief and organized as possible for your reading convenience if you’re still fucking reading this lmao): fics.

cdg is the only fic i am going to go forward with updating right now out of all the ones you see on my fic page (which i’m gonna update soon) i got a super sweet review a few days ago that really made me want to keep moving forward. when you’ll see an update? i can’t say. i’m gonna rework some of my outlines and then go from there, but it will be updated. have no fear. xx

i really don’t know if any of you remember/are interested, but ever since 2013, i’ve had an ongoing fic series (the only thing i’ve ever written a sequel for EVER) that’s a hunger games x avengers crossover. the first one is atrocious, honestly, second one is only slightly better, but i’m on the third sequel and lately, i’ve just been dying to do more with it, since i’m actually feeling good about the mcu again with spiderman and the new trailer releases? the fic’s called cataclysm, you can read the first chapter (from a year ago lmao) here if you’d like; to me, this was my fun way of combining super special fandoms for me together. basically, if you want a synopsis of what i did (back 4 years ago) was essentially write katniss into the mcu films. i wrote lights out four years ago and it is...cringe, there’s a good story there if you overlook my shitty deliverance, and i’ve always been pretty proud of the tone inferno took on, even if there’s some stuff i’d like to edit and whatnot. i’m going to try and continue on with cataclysm because it’s what i’m really pumped about right now, and i’ve got a few little things i’d love for y’all to help me with:

#1 — i obviously post this on ffnet, would you like me to also post cataclysm updates to ao3?

which leads into this — if i post to ao3, would you want me to import the other two stories into ao3 as well? fair warning: i’d probably give a solid day to tweaking and editing lights out and that’s it, i could take that fic apart and rewrite it to be much better but that’s simply not something i’m interested in nor do i want to spend my time on. like i said, i wrote it 4 years ago. it’s no longer my best, it’s kind of incredibly rough around the edges, and could i have done better with crafting the storylines and making things feel a little more natural? yeah, especially now that i’ve worked her into 3+ movie storylines and have had the practice. but that’s beside the point. you’d have to essentially take it as it is and i’d probably disable comments on the first two for my own sake of mind — ao3 gives me a lot of stress and it’s why i don’t like updating on there (oh look, more confessionals!) because i feel an immense load of pressure to impress and write up to a certain bar instead of writing true to my voice. 

please don’t expect any sg fics out of me for awhile. i haven’t talked much about this since the implosion of the fandom, but i’m just not comfortable right now touching any of it with a ten foot pole. like i said, it’s not fun for me, i don’t wanna write it and i’m not about to force myself and be miserable. 

depending on where i get, i have plenty of slexie/japril fic ideas that i’d love to put into use, and we’ll see how things go!

so yeah, basically, what you should take away from this is that i’m putting a fucking finish on stressing myself out so much; i’m going to go back to focusing more on the process instead of the result, and i’m just gonna have fun with shit. i look back on my posts 5 years ago when i was writing thg fanfics and god, while i was a mess, i could tell how much fun i was having in the process and i just wanna get back to that? and that’s what i’m gonna do

i love you guys, i love creating stuff and sharing it with you guys, and i love this blog. xxxx

[mushbabe]

I'm always a slut for crossovers

I have a monumental urge to write a fic or a comic or SOMETHING on this one idea i’ve had for a while

I super super love the idea of a huge hub world or city where each character from a television cartoon can go to (and even live in. I imagine many characters from long ended shows would’ve made a permanent move here.) this universe excludes stuff like anime and cartoons that exist only as movies. mainly, i want something like this to exist because i believe that the possible interactions between all of the assorted well-written, dynamic characters from any number of shows would be super interesting and make for plenty of entertaining and engaging situations.(Think about the old Cartoon Network “CN City” bumpers that used to come on in-between commercials. Or if you haven’t seen them, do find them on youtube, they’re amazing and nostalgic.)

I’ve got a whole premise written out under the read more, feel free to read lmao

the city operates as any city would. you get a job or go to school, pay your rent or your mortgage. you’ll fly your commute if you can fly, but everyone else drives/walks/or takes public transport. (in short, theres nothing crazy or magical about the location. its the people that make it what it is)

in an iteration of this idea, one of the stories would follow Edd from Ed, Edd, n Eddy moving here to attend university. his parents were never around for him in the show of course, so they wouldn’t accompany his move up there. they would, however, be paying for everything.

they give him the number of his soon-to-be apartment neighbor who had agreed to meet him at the bus station and show him the way. unfortunately they dont show right away. Edd attempts to find the apartment building himself, but despite how keen he is, the city is just too crowded and confusing for someone as new as he is.

His guide eventually finds him someplace he really shouldn’t be, and probably rescues him from some shit. I really want this person to be Jane Lane (of Daria). She’s a deep character with a lot of personality. She’d be quick witted and wordly, and know her way around everything, sort of a foil to Edd’s straightforwardness.

She totally slept in and forgot she was even meeting Edd today, found him completely on accident. She takes him back to the apartment building. Its not bad but also not amazing. Right next to Edds new room is the flat Jane shares with three other tenants (its crowded.)

I really reaaaally want her to be living with a total assortment of interesting people, all the down-on-their-luck types. One I was seriously thinking about was Helga (of Hey Arnold.) She would’ve definitely struck out on her own early on, waitressing and working as a clerk, etc. Cut her hair off and stays out late. Probably questioning her sexuality, can’t keep a relationship at this point though. She’s one of the most complex cartoon characters imho, with a bully complex that doesn’t wholly define her and a kinder, soft interior personality. She’s artistic and expressive, but would’ve absolutely gone to school for political science (she’s hella ambitious in the show), but either dropped out, or graduated but did nothing yet with her degree.

Another roomie would have to be Dan from Dan vs. He would not be able to hold a job for the life of him, but probably finds roundabout ways to pay for things or get his share of the rent taken care of. Jane would’ve given up her room for him just do he would have a place for his messes besides the living room. She’s also likely the person who pushed the others into letting him live there. He’s a total asshole and him and Helga constantly butt heads, but they’re all trying to help him with his anger issues at the same time.

The last one that I think would be hilarious is Grim, an ominous supernatural presence among all of the mostly normal people. He’d be mostly inactive and apathetic, doesn’t need a job because of his retirement pension and the cheap rent. But he would be the ultimate mediator in arguments because of his hella powers and a funny presence to have around. He’d also be able to… like, combat anything freaky or powerful that tried to mess with them (because in a town full of cartoon characters, you really need some line of defense.)

And so that’s the bunch that Edd has to deal with while also navigating his college life. A group of people forced together by necessity that bond over time, have their own problems, get into trouble together, etc. They’ll meet others, of course, and crazy shit will happen that probably involves giant robots and monsters, but the fact that it revolves around these very (mostly) normal characters I think would make it very interesting and make living in this world all the trickier.

just my thoughts, sorry for the long post lmao