#key and the menaces

[mcrizzystardust]

my love language is pestering and spamming my infodumps onto you at 2am after i watched a brand new movie

how @aaron-hamiltion has been putting up with me for 5 years, ill never know!!

[matchingbatbites]

Love Grows - Part 3

Y'all, this chapter fought with me so hard. It took a while to get something I'm actually happy with, but I got there eventually. This part is 2.4k of fluff to make up for the wait <3

Ao3 | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4

May '85

After that first time, Rosie becomes a regular attendee of Hellfire nights, and Andy even apologizes his way back into Eddie's good graces and earns a spot in the "Rosie Rotation". Once basketball season ends and there’s no need for Eddie to watch Rosie during games anymore, the group of boys only make it three weeks before they start complaining about the baby’s absence, and Eddie just rolls his eyes in mock annoyance.

He tells Steve about it, half-expecting the younger to just find it amusing, and he’s surprised when Steve actually starts bringing her by to visit. It’s not every week, more like every second or third, but it’s enough to keep the club members from complaining, and Eddie finds he enjoys getting to sequester Steve away behind the DM screen, letting him take a peek behind the curtain that no one else is allowed to breach.

By the end of the school year, Steve and Eddie have a decent friendship, or so Eddie hopes. With graduation behind them, they've bonded over Steve's college denials, and Eddie's failing senior year again , and it's been nice having someone outside his normal friend group to talk to about it, someone who understands what it feels like to fall short of success.

Steve’s dad officially cuts him off, and Eddie has a brief moment of panic before Steve reassures him that no , he’s not being kicked out, they’re letting him and Rosie stay at the house. (“They’d rather make sure the house is taken care of than kick me out.”) But Steve needs a job, and after applying to a few places at Starcourt, he gets a spot working at Scoops Ahoy.

He's meeting Steve at the mall so he can take Rosie while the younger is at work, and though Steve had complained to him about the required uniform, Eddie is sorely unprepared to see it in person. When Steve steps out of his car wearing that fucking sailor outfit, Eddie almost has to sit down from the wave of solid need that hits him as his little crush flares into full-blown desire. 

He takes a steadying breath and puts on a grin, gives a joking "Well, ahoy sailor!" and Steve rolls his eyes. 

"I know, it's fucking awful, but I needed a job fast and they were hiring."

Eddie laughs and follows Steve to the backseat, can’t help glancing down to see the way the blue shorts stretch over his ass when the younger leans in to grab Rosie’s carrier. “I dunno, Stevie. If anyone can make this work, it’s definitely you.”

“I appreciate the vote of confidence,” Steve says, and Eddie’s eyes snap back to appropriate areas when Steve straightens and offers the baby to him. “Though I’d feel better about it if I wasn’t dressed like fucking Donald Duck.” 

Eddie snickers at the idea and Steve gives him a very unamused look. “Sorry, sorry. Seriously though, you look fine,” he says, taking Rosie’s carrier and bringing it over to his car. He takes a second to buckle the girl into his passenger seat - not the safest, he knows, but he always drives extra careful when he has her. “Besides, at least you won’t be the only person there wearing a dorky sailor outfit. You have a coworker, right?”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’m still gonna complain about it though.” Eddie turns to find Steve behind him, diaper bag in hand and seemingly resigned to his fate. “Do you have any plans for today?

Eddie shakes his head and takes the bag from him. “Nah, just watching nugget. Probably gonna take her back to the trailer, if that’s okay?” 

“Of course it is. You know I trust you with her,” Steve says with a smile, and fuck , the guy really doesn’t know what that one sentence does to Eddie. The fact that Steve trusts him with something as precious as his daughter is worth more to Eddie than anything else in the world. The sudden swell of emotion is too much, and Eddie needs to leave before he makes a fool of himself. 

“Thanks, Stevie,” he says, and he can’t resist reaching out and tugging on that dumb little tie on Steve’s shirt. “Well, have fun at work, sailor. Don’t let anyone throw you overboard.”

Steve gently smacks his hand away and rolls his eyes again. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t get into too much trouble with my kid, Eds.”

Eddie grins as he heads to his driver seat, calling out a final “Wouldn’t dream of it!”

He does bring Rosie back to the trailer, since he really doesn’t have anything else to do that day but watch her. When he walks through the door, he sees Wayne sitting on the couch, newspaper in hand, and the man looks up as Eddie enters. His eyes snap to the carrier in Eddie’s hand and he sets the paper down.

"Should I be concerned?"

Eddie shakes his head and sets down the diaper bag. "Don't worry, old man, Rosie isn't mine. She belongs to a friend." 

"A friend?" Wayne stands and walks over so he can peek inside the carrier, and Rosie looks up at him with her big hazel eyes.

"Yeah. Her mama didn't want her, and her dad is pulling double time as a single parent and a teen dad, so I'm gonna watch her a few days a week while he's at work." 

Wayne instantly softens and gives him a small smile as he reaches out, placing a hand on Eddie’s shoulder. "That's really nice of you, Ed. I’m proud of you.”

Eddie shrugs a little, suddenly feeling bashful under his uncle’s approval. “Yeah, well- Hey!” He says as Wayne takes the carrier from his hands.

“I’ll keep an eye on her while you wash those dishes you were supposed to do last night,” Wayne says, setting down the carrier before pulling Rosie out of it. Eddie rolls his eyes even as he smiles, and he takes off his jacket and heads over to the sink. 

He gets distracted often as he does the dishes, he can’t stop himself from glancing over to watch Wayne and Rosie. They’re on the nearby couch, and his uncle has the baby sat on his leg, facing him as he talks to her softly. Eddie’s heart aches as he sees Wayne’s big, work-worn hands holding her so carefully, his rough appearance juxtaposed against Rosie’s fragile softness.

The dishes get done pretty quickly, and once Eddie dries his hands he makes his way over to sit next to Wayne. Rosie looks up at him and smiles so wide her pacifier falls from her mouth, and Eddie chuckles as he grabs it before it can hit the floor. 

“She’s a sweet baby,” Wayne says, smiling down at the girl, and Eddie nods in agreement. There's a moment of silence before Eddie looks at his uncle.

“You know, grandpa Wayne has a nice ring to it.” 

Wayne scoffs a little, but Eddie can see the way his eyes shine at the idea. “I’m sure she already has enough grandparents spoiling her. No need for me to get in the way.”

Eddie hums and reaches over, takes one of Rosie’s tiny hands in his own and just cradles it between his thumb and forefinger. “Actually, not really. Her mom’s family is totally out of the picture, and Steve’s parents are pretty shitty. He said they didn’t even acknowledge her the last time they came home.”

The older man frowns, looks between his nephew and the baby. “Are you serious? They just ignored their own grandbaby?” he asks, watching as Rosie brings Eddie’s hand to her mouth so she can gnaw on one of his fingers.

“Like I said, they’re pretty shitty. She deserves to have at least one grandparent who cares about her, even if they’re not blood.”

Wayne stays silent and Eddie glances at him. “I’ll double check with Steve, if it’ll make you feel better, but I’m sure he won’t mind.”

“As long as you ask first,” the man says after a moment, and Eddie just beams.

June 85’

Eddie finds a new delight, and that's bringing Rosie to visit Steve at work. It's definitely because he doesn’t want to keep Rosie cooped up in the trailer all the time, and not because he has a chronic need to see Steve in those sailor shorts as often as possible.

Today he actually has a proper reason to go to the mall, because he wants to grab a few miniatures from the gaming shop that just opened not too far from the food court. At least, that’s what he tells himself as he pulls Rosie from the van, making a mental note that she’s going to outgrow her carseat soon. He leaves the carrier behind as he totes her inside, glances briefly into the gaming shop as he passes before heading on to Scoops Ahoy.

As Eddie approaches the counter, he bites back his usual, cheery greeting when he sees Steve standing there, hands and jaw both clenched as he stares at the sticky plastic. If Eddie knew him any less, he wouldn't notice the tears welling in his eyes, the tremble in his lower lip. Before he can ask, he hears whispers coming from a nearby table, just loud enough that Eddie knows the three teenage girls sitting there don't care about actually being heard.

"I heard that he was probably cheating on Nancy Wheeler with the baby's mother, it's the only way it makes sense." 

"You’re so right. I mean, he's always been a playboy, so I'm not surprised that he was two-timing a couple of poor, unsuspecting girls." 

Eddie sees red at the biting words. These girls have no idea what they're talking about, they don't know that Steve wouldn't even dream of doing something like that. He leans over the counter and presses Rosie into Steve’s hands, startling the younger out of his stupor, and drops the diaper bag onto the floor. 

"I’ll be right back," Eddie says before heading out of the shop. He goes to a nearby food stand and buys the largest cup of Hawaiian Punch they have, then carries it back to Scoops Ahoy. He takes off the lid as he approaches the girls, and they don’t pay him any attention at all - until he upturns the cup onto the table and sends a flood of Red 40 spilling across the surface and down onto their laps. All three girls scream and jump up, trying to minimize the damage done to their clothes, and Eddie feels so smug.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” he says, keeping his tone even and clearly unapologetic, and one of the girls turns to look at him, eyes blazing with fury. 

“What the fuck! What’s your fucking problem?!”

“Right now? You three shit-talking, pep-rally posers are my fucking problem. Just be happy it wasn’t a slushie.”

A different girl lets out a cry of anger as she grabs her ice cream and throws it at Eddie, hitting him square in the chest with it. He levels an unimpressed look at her and wipes the dessert off with his hand. “You ladies should probably get going before your clothes are stained beyond saving.”

As furious as they are, the three seem to agree as they quickly leave, but not without throwing a few more insults his way. He waves them off with a “Have a nice day!” then turns to see Robin now behind the counter instead of Steve, Rosie propped on her hip and a beaming smile on her face. 

“I’ll clean it up, I promise,” Eddie says as he makes his way back to the counter. 

"That was so awesome! I fucking hate those girls, they're always awful to Steve and they never tip," she says, and Eddie frowns. 

"Birdie, how long has this been going on?” 

Before Robin can answer, Steve appears from the back area with a bucket and mop, as well as a few hand towels, and Eddie rushes over to help him. They carry the supplies to the table, and Eddie wipes the juice onto the floor as Steve mops it up, the two working in tandem to clean up Eddie’s mess as Robin keeps an eye on Rosie.

“I’m sorry about this,” Eddie says after a few minutes of silence. “I was just… pissed off, and I wasn’t thinking, and this is the only thing I could think of to do that didn’t involve me throwing punches at girls.”

Steve hums softly, waits a moment before saying “I’m not upset. I just… You didn’t have to do that, you know.”

Eddie steps over, wrings out the rag into the mop bucket. “I wasn’t going to let them sit there and talk shit about you Steve. You’re stepping up and raising Rosie by yourself, and… You don’t deserve that. 

“Well, not all by myself.” Steve has a soft smile as he leans over and nudges his shoulder against Eddie’s. “You’ve done more than your fair share, I think.”

The blush that floods Eddie’s face matches the red still covering the floor and he quickly turns, almost trips as he goes back to the booth, and he hears Steve chuckle behind him. By the time the mess is completely cleaned up, Eddie’s hands are stained a soft pink even after a few washes in the employee sink.

“I should probably go before I cause any more damage to your place of employment.” he says, slinging Rosie’s bag over his shoulder. 

“I dunno, I kind of enjoy the free entertainment,” Robin chimes in, and Steve rolls his eyes as he takes Rosie from her. “Okay, next time you can spend ten minutes cleaning up Hawaiian Punch.”

Eddie groans and scrubs his stained hands over his face. “I’m never gonna live this down, am I?” he asks, and Robin grins. “Definitely not.”

He groans again, definitely over-exaggerating at this point just to make Robin laugh, and glances over to see Steve place a kiss to Rosie’s chubby cheek. “Alright, nugget, we gotta get back to work,” Steve says, and like a sixth sense, a group of four teens walk into the shop. Robin greets them as Steve hands Rosie over with a final peck.

“Hey,” Eddie says softly as he takes the baby and props her on his hip. “Call me before you leave and I’ll order us a pizza or something. Consider it an apology for my 'Shining' moment.” 

And his knees go weak when Steve gives him that soft smile and nods. “I think I could accept that apology.”

Tag list:

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[jacksprostate]

Before Project Mayhem, before fight club, before Marla, before Tyler — there is still one sad sack of shit.

.

.

The hard part about work trips isn't making the plane or seeing another family of five burnt into their leather seats. It's missing support groups.

See, if you're lucky, the company will send you out to a major city. Cities are great. A little advanced work to find a slightly below average church or library, you're set each night you're there.

It's a bit of novelty, getting to be a new face all at once. People assume you've just been diagnosed. It's never the failed treatments, the degradation of their life and everyone in it, the continuous experience of knowingly dying — none of those things are the worst thing that happens to you.

It's finding out they will.

So people cry. They crowd around, I sob like I've been told I've got stage four colon cancer and three weeks to live. We all cry. I sleep soundly on the plane back or in the nice, four star hotel my company provides me.

Flying out to a small town, though. I'll be awake enough to be hallucinating by the time I get back for Remaining Men Together. The only mercy is that the next time I show for all the groups I missed, I can see who thought I died. I get to be resurrected.

The other part about small towns, you have to take a second, shitter plane to a local airfield, or you have to take a rental car. One of the most popular rental cars available right now, it'll light itself on fire if you use the cruise control at the wrong time. I know this because I sat next to another guy with my job, who worked for a different company, and he said I'll show you mine if you show me yours. So I told him about the faulty airbags, and he told me about the overheating switch.

I prefer to avoid driving.

All the rental place at the airport has left for me, it's one of those flaming cars. I use cruise control. If I don't, one of my narcoleptic spells will send me into the Jersey barrier.

When you drive into these small towns, you have to try to pay attention, or you'll end up a county over talking about the wrong wreck. They're otherwise interchangeable, but the miles on your rental car won't line up and those are the type of records that might get pulled out when the company is finally sued for the big one ten years down the line.

As a result, I see the same decor on the way in every time. Meth lab. Abandoned homes. Garbage fire. Classic Americana. There is no four star hotel here; I sleep the same.

The only reason I've been brought out here is because the poor shithead who drove his truck into the ditch drunk was driving my company's flagship vehicle. It loses power steering if the car jostles the right way going above 55 miles per hour. I've been told to keep track of potential incidents and make sure the company can firmly claim it's not at fault.

We've had this problem for decades, and we will for many more. Sometimes, everything is falling apart.

The job is simple, and I only get tempted by the town's blatant opioid addiction for a day and night. Painkillers would probably make me sleep. The thing about being a recall campaign organizer, though, is like recognizes like. It's not only other Compliance and Liability guys who tell you company secrets while sharing the aisle in business class.

When I'm finally back in my own town, after my own support groups, after crying my eyes out into Bob's meaty middle — I pick up my mail. There's the newest IKEA magazine. Half of it looks like shit. The type of thing you'd only see in some curated art deco, modernist, post-modern traditionalist bohemian minimalist apartment.

I have to have it.

I go to sleep, hard, like God himself tucked me in. I sleep with my wallet net four hundred heavier, because even an IKEA spree tends not to outweigh a work trip. I sleep, with my called in IKEA goods only two short weeks away, my job well done, and I know, my life is complete.

[prince-liest]

shrimp often arch their backs and use their hind legs to clean their swimmerets, which they normally use to swim! pregnant shrimp like the larger female in the back also carry their eggs in their abdomen and use their swimmerets to fan water through the eggs, thus oxygenating them. these two will not stop breeding, even though amano shrimp are not actually able to successfully reproduce in fresh water. I suppose it means they're happy and healthy in their environment!

[evilhorse]

Doctor Solar, Man of the Atom #10

[snowyfrostshadows]

@lethalhedgehogs @istadris

Dug up my copy of the origin for the Duck Avenger Comic and while I'm having difficulty figuring out how to get decent photos of the full pages, I thought you guys might like a few panels of Donald stealing the mattress

Plus bonus Gladstone taking the fall

[syn4k]

skipping out on What Exactly, tom?

[tendou-satori-chocolatier]

Tsukkishima, to kageyama: blue eyed people be like 🔵👄🔵

Hinata: what did your salty, grudge-keeping, giraffe ass say?

Tsukki:

[mcrizzystardust]

i need another friend that can tell me what the hell is going on in project polaro because @fairylittlebitch is USELESS to me (/aff.)

[pilotskywalker]

my pet peeve: the Phantom Menace opening scroll referring to Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon as “two Jedi knights” despite the fact that neither of them are Jedi knights at the time

[the-halfling-prince]

✨Lindsey Bergman✨

[ambeauty]

Just got done watching omelette for the 5011th time and I’m thinking about how Carmy and Syd were sitting UNDER a table while they confessed their UNDERlying feelings about each other because their feelings are still UNDER the surface!!!!!

[chernobog13]

Tell me you've never seen an episode of Star Trek, without telling me you've never seen an episode of Star Trek.

[ghosts-cyphera]

i don’t have ps!ghost after a shitty date but… i might have something for you. i don’t wish to overstep, though. — ⚜️

eeek I can’t know if you’re overstepping until I’ve seen or heard what it is, hahaha! but I doubt that you could, so <3 please do send me anything and everything. I adore you!

[siriuslylovejegulus33]

James: KEY LIME PIE IS CHEESECAKE

Regulus: Baby...

Peter: PrOnGs! How could you?

James: Pete! There's no difference other than what? Cream cheese?

Peter: YES!

James: SO ONE INGREDIENT IN A RECIPE HAS A WHOLE NEW NAME because of... ONE ingredient?!

Barty: ... He's got you there buddy

Evan: Good job Jamie boy

Peter: WHERE DID YOU TWO COME OUT OF

*Barty with a flashlight on him, whispers*: We are always there Candyman. Alwayssss thereeee