#regulus and evan and barty

[not-rab]

*at a death eater meeting*

Barty: They hate our strategies because we're dating!

Evan: …

Evan: We’re not dating?

Regulus: YOU’RE NOT!?

Barty *getting off Evan’s lap*: We’re not?!

[regulusblock]

teen Regulus: what's an orgasm?

teen Barty: when you fold paper to make birds and shit

also teen Evan: that's oregano, bitch

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Regulus: Barty is missing, can you find him?

Evan: What, do you think I have him microchipped or something?

Regulus: Well, do you?

Evan:

Evan: Yeah, hang on

[yourgalgremlin]

Creep hitting on Regulus @ the bar:

GUY: What’s your body count, beautiful?

REG: That depends.

GUY: On what?

REG: Wether you’re asking how many guys I’ve “taken home” or how many I’ve taken out ☠️

REG (whispers): Both are higher than you’d think.

JAMES: …I want him in a way that’s concerning to my life expectancy.

[myrows]

The power this trio has over me

[wtchyvibes]

[addsalwayssick]

Remus opened his letter, surprised when it appeared to be a howler. The last time he’d heard one was the day before Sirius got disowned back in 5th year.

He was in the dining hall for breakfast, sitting at the staff table. He watched as Harry and Hermione plotted, looking anxious. He blew it off, as it seemed Harry was always weary.

“A howler,” Snape sneered from beside him.

“Astute observation, Severus.” Remus told him, nodding at him.

Remus disregarded Snape, and focused on the howler. There was no name on it, so it was possible it was from a student playing a prank. In good nature, for the prankingnostalgia, Remus opened it.

There was silence for a moment before a loud, booming voice started to yell. “DARLINGGGGG, GUESS WHOS BACK FROM JAIL” And it was his Sirius Black. And he knew they would find each other again.

[ricochetyears]

i live for soft rosekiller. yes they’re mental. yes they’re violent in a way. yes they’re possessive. but when they’re being gentle with each other? when they stay all alone and everything turns into face kisses and quiet silly murmurs and delicate smiles and endless touching? yeah well. yeah

[justafandomgirly]

Evan walking past a door and hearing yells from inside: Hello?

Regulus: Finally, can you help me. Barty locked me in this closet because I took his favorite quill and he wouldn’t let me out

Evan: *smirking* So you want to come out of the closet? Be who you are ig

Regulus: Shut up and let me out

[genderflouiid]

marauders as things my friends have said

barty: do you think that i’m a sunrise or a sunset?

regulus: i think that you’re a bitch

[nixnight1]

Regulus high with Barty at the Potter's

Sirius: Can I get in here? I need the- Oh my god!!

Regulus using Sirius' clothes and makeup: It's like looking on a mirror!!

Sirius: No it isn’t, Regulus >:(

Regulus: Who's Regulus?

Barty: I already can't tell who is who

Sirius: Take that stuff off

Regulus: Moony! Get in here and settle this!

Sirius: Don't call my boyfriend "Moony"

Remus: What? OH woah-hey Hey, travel size Pads! Awww

Sirius: Moonyyyy, you're encouraging him

James: I need the bathroom... Oh wow this is confusing

Sirius: No, it's not!

Regulus: You're my family and I love you all, but I'm cooler than all of you!

Sirius: I don't say that

James: Well that's all you say

Remus and Barty: Yeah

[not-rab]

James *out of curiosity*: How did all four of you even befriend Regulus?

Evan: I helped fix his wand after I broke it

Barty: I stole his broom and refused to give it back unless he was nice to me

Pandora: I stalked him

Sirius: I'm his only biological brother and there's no refund button

[regulusblock]

Barty: bro i think we committed the perfect crime

Evan: what do u mean bro

Barty: i stole ur heart and u stole mine

Evan: bro

Barty: bro

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Evan: why is Regulus crying?

Barty: well, James got drunk at a party so Regulus took him to their room

Barty: When he asked James to come to bed with him, James said “No, thanks. I’m sure you’re lovely but I have I boyfriend and I love him very very much” and went to sleep on the floor

Evan: so he’s crying because his boyfriend is too good?

Regulus: shut up you wouldn’t know about good boyfriends

Barty (said boyfriend): *Offended*

[rhetorical-conscience]

Regulus: That's ridiculous, Potter doesn't have a crush on me.

Dorcas: Yes he does.

Barty: Yes he does.

Pandora: Yes he does.

Evan: Yes he does.

Remus: Yes he does.

Lily: Yes he does.

Marlene: Yes he does.

Random portrait on the fourth floor: Yes he does.

James: Yes I do.

[yourgalgremlin]

Barty Crouch Jr in the back of potions class:

Evan: Shh, his inner demons are having enrichment time in their enclosure ☠️💘