#kinda reminds me of my own childhood tbh

[agere-fandom]

regressor!chrissy cunningham!!

fictional agere challenge

day 4: a character you hc as a sitter / sibby

note; I know, I know, Chrissy might not be something of sibby material to you but I don't care!!! >:0 Anyway she's a absolute sweetheart and she deserves everything, and I know she's dead but shhhhh!! Anyhow, I love her and she needs more attention in general because she's SOOO underrated that's alllll

headcanons;

Chrissy is a big sister/sibby regressor and her age range is 4 - 8

She is such a helpful person while regressed and in general, and she's always wanting to help all the caregivers with the more tiny ones. And you'll usually see her sittin around a tinier one and she's just being so sweet to them

⬇️ She's also the most well-behaved girl ever, like she could do no wrong behind those big eyes. And she always knows when to get in control of herself and she's just such a happy blorb :)

She loves mystery stuff! Like Scooby Doo is her most favorite thing in the world! She also has a big love for picture books and puzzles, especially puzzles!! Just a big mystery fan. If it was more modern ages, she'd love Bluey, Blues Clues, Busytown Mysteries, Wonder Pets, Charlie and Lola and Daniel Tiger... as well as Scooby Doo too :)

⬇️ Puzzles, puzzles, PUZZLES!!! She has an absolute big love for them! Even with harder, bigger puzzles, she'll try her best! She got her love of them from Nancy, actually. One day, Nancy was just sittin and doing a puzzle and Chrissy was like "ooooh- what that :0" and just kinda stared at it and took a little while to actually start playing with them, and boom! (I actually have an old fic about this very situation if anyone wants to hear about it!!)

She loves tinier regressors than her, like Eddie, Eleven and Lucas are all her favorites!! She loves being a princess in distress with Eddie saving her, coloring and stickers with Eleven, and baking with Lucas!! And so on

She really loves her caregivers too, even her babysitters as well! She loves Nancy, Steve and Joyce the most!

I don't think she really got as much as a good childhood, to be honest. Like her parents are bad people >:( So her regression is just a fresh new way to restart and go back to a happier childhood. And she loves doing all this new stuff she hasn't done before! Like go out to toy stores, go to the playground, and all that fun stuff!!

She loves story/picture books too! Like Matilda, The BFG, Huckleberry Finn, Peter Rabbit, Paddington and more!

CARE BEARS!! As well as Strawberry Shortcake- but Care Bears!! She love, love, LOVES them with all her heart. She'd definitely have a Tenderheart bear, since that was my favorite too, and he fits the vibe with her! (And also, Gentle Heart Lamb :) )

⬇️ Oooh! Almost forgot, most of the group of older teens of the group who are regressors have a Care Bear each! Chrissy has Tenderheart, Robin has Swift Heart, Eddie has Brave Heart >:D

[lucky-clover-gazette]

me, before visiting star wars galaxy’s edge: okay. so you loved the force awakens as a teenager and imprinted on kylo ren for various understandable reasons, but you are 25 years old now and the sequel trilogy was disappointing post-tfa and you have not watched a star wars since you saw the rise of the skywalker, once, in theaters. you will not get that sentimental at this theme park, it will be normal and fine.

me, visiting star wars galaxy’s edge: 🥹😏🥰👍

[natalchartnurtures]

So tell me Taylor, Who am I gonna take to be my ~Lover~?

Want a sneak peak into who YOU'RE gonna take to be your significant-long-term partner?

(pile 1 to 3- left to right)

~~~~~~~~~~~

Pile 1:

Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close forever and ever? And ah, take me out, and take me home You're my, my, my, my Lover..

Let me say this. You're opening card is the ten of cups, right of the bat.. there's this beautiful love I feel between the two of you. Their presence in your life would either happen as a consequence of you resolving some of your deep subconscious beliefs that kept you limited in terms of love or.. some of you beautiful folks I feel your person will help prove your limiting beliefs around love wrong. This part of your relationship may feel a lil scary and intense but your love for them will end up helping you all the way through.

Oh wow.. I'm getting that you and your person will take on life together, almost with this feeling of being comrades. Especially during your more difficult and uncertain times, your relationship with them will only get stronger. Its giving Bestie energy ✨️ Don't we love that around here? Hehe

They really help you calm down if you're prone to anxiety and/or overthinking. Their energy has a really calming effect on you. Which is probably one of your favorite things about them 😊

I'm getting a strong message of this person being radically different from your previous partners. Maybe you are used to partners who are possessive, lack emotional intelligence and always gave you a reason to worry but I feel your person is a FAR cry from this kinda energy which will surprise you at first I'm ngl 😅 but once you get on board with the newness they bring, you'll have a beautiful relationship with them :')

"Equal give and take" I hear. Aw.

I feel like before you did the inner work with your subconscious mind, you attracted partners that weren't all that healthy but I see that as soon as you put away your wounds and old unhelpful beliefs that you might have picked up from childhood, that may have kept your energy stagnant, to rest they will show up into your life. You won't be able to miss it!

Side note: Ya'll reeeeeally remind me of Zendaya and Tom Holland. I kept having visions of them in my mind while I was channeling for your pile.. Isn't that something 👀

That was your reading, pile 1. Hope you enjoyed it!

Love and light, sweet souls ✨️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

pile 2:

And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you dear Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?

Ooh.. I feel your person being highly intelligent and just really smart overall. They seem quite deep to me.. their energy is direct and doesn't really play around. They definitely come off strong to you when you first meet them. They don't seem to enjoy small talk or socializing "just for fun" they seem to take their social life really seriously which is why they might keep to themselves mostly having a very TIGHT group they let themselves mingle with.

I have to say this.. your person has developed an incredible relationship with their mind. A quite healthy one after years of suffering mental agony they have figured out how to master their own mind and as a result they seem quite mature and come off quite stable. They're giving off a strong regal vibe, like, they have a lot of self respect and/or a lot of people seem to respect your person. Your person strikes me like the kind that not everybody necessarily likes but somebody who is respected and revered (in some cases) nonetheless. Wow. Strong vibes. They could be quite an intense person too ngl. They might like to dip their toes into psychology or simply put, the Scorpionic arts or.. just be interested in the occult from time to time 👀

They may not believe in love before they meet you tbh.

They like to believe in what they have evidence for and seems like before meeting you they simply hadn't find evidence of real love.. aw, that's low-key so cute!

Your person comes off quite practical and earthy. They may move in a very strategic way, keeping their plans (and their life in general) mostly to themselves.. which is giving PRIVATE energy. They seem hella private 👀 haha

So you know they're gonna keep your relationship to themselves like it's a scared, precious thing that they gotta safeguard :')

Meeting you will POSITIVELY flip their world upside down. If there's one thing they don't understand, its love and romance. When you walk into their life, being your cute ass self, they won't know what to do with themselves and despite them being successful in their lives prior to meeting you, they'd feel lost with you. You make them feel.. dumb haha. Or they perceive it that way. You might think it to be ridiculously cute lmao.

They're definitely gonna feel A BURNING passion for you right from the get go and that's how they'll know that you're their person!

That was your reading, pile 2. Hope you enjoyed it!

Love and light, sweet souls ✨️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

pile 3:

My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue All's well that ends well to end up with you Swear to be over-dramatic and true to my lover

So.. you guy's person and you come together in an interesting way. This is immediately telling me that your person is someone you don't expect to fall in love with. Ya'll might know each other for a while (depending on each person for how long exactly) and the feelings develop overtime. For some this person might reveal their feelings on accident while being drunk one night or something along those lines lmao (very specific, so take that with a grain of salt) lol but yea it's gonna be one of those really cute friends-to-lovers type situation with you and your person or enemies-to-lovers too maybe? 👀 Some KANTHONY vibes coming through #Bridgerton <3

Haha anyway.

You won't foresee a relationship between you and your person before it happens :p

Your person.. seems to have endured a partner before you (or many partners) who didn't really care for them. This may even be a feminine friend/family member as well. They broke your person's heart in a significant way and may even have manipulated you person into staying in the relationship (be it romantic or otherwise) which they eventually stood up to. Seems like a Karmic situation too btw. This Karmic situation, really helped your person grow and evolve into the person who was truly meant for you tho 😊 yay. They've healed from this previous heartbreak and somehow this road of healing brings them to you. Ah.. The reason why this previous relationship is coming into picture is because- they probably meet you while healing from this old situation.. they'd be hard at work trying to resolve the pain the went through and their reward for doing that is.. your love. AW. STOP IT! THAT'S CUTE <3

Ya'll remind me of that song "You Belong With Me" by our queen Taylor Swift. The lyrics are playing through my head now as I channel your person's energy. You could have additional messages in that song 😊

That was your reading, pile 3. Hope you enjoyed it!

Love and light, sweet souls ✨️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

[astrologuzzy]

✿ MORE ASTRO OBSERVASHUNS ✿

I’m back to spill more astrology observations, lessgetit!!! ˃̵ᴗ˂̵

Also, quick reminder that these are just MY observations and opinions I’ve gathered, so take what resonates and leave what doesn’t! mwahhh 😽💋

☆ 𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐈 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 seem to really like physical displays of affection very much. Every Gemini I knew always loved giving hugs specifically lol. They may enjoy physical touch as a love language.

★ I often notice how 𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐏𝐈𝐎 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 aren’t scared to give their opinions no matter how controversial they may be. They don’t care if people agree, if they truly believe in it then they will share it and whoever disagrees can kiss their own ass. Which can seem intimidating to many especially with how much intensity and passion Scorpio brings to the table.

☆ I find it so easy to spot someone with 𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐇 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒. You guys give a very mellow and grounded energy that is very specific to Earth signs. Y’all have that signature down to earth presence or a very firm/calm tone of voice that I recognize instantly even thru text lol.

★ Everyone wants to call Leos the most “cocky” sign but have y’all seen 𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐈? They’re the real culprit here lol. These guys are number one fans of themselves (do I even need to make examples lol) and I respect it tbh.

☆ Speaking of 𝐋𝐄𝐎, they love to just disappear for like days or weeks straight out of absolutely nowhere and then come back like nothing happened and resume from where they left off. Like sir, are you not gonna explain why you just ghosted everybody? Lol like are you gonna explain where you was? (double points if that Leo has Sagittarius or Aquarius influences in chart cos they’re even more prone to going mia).

★ When people have 𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 in their big 6 or heavy Mars influence in the chart I notice that they tend to sound/come across way ruder than they’re actually being lol. They can be very dominant and intimidating in conversations. You’d think they’re angry or being mean but they’re just asking you to pass them the water bottle lmao. Often I think they don’t even realize that themselves since they’re just built that way.

☆ People with 𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐏𝐈𝐎 & 𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐍 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 in their big 3 together kinda scare me lol (in a good way). They usually are very into occult stuff and/or are strongly religious and showcase it very openly and firmly. Sometimes they just have a very intimidating aura/demeanor to them. I notice how they frequently tend to be very into dark colors and themes/styles too. They don’t f*ck around at all. Love y’all 💚

★ People with a 𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐈 𝐒𝐔𝐍 usually have their Moon sign qualities be more noticeable. With Geminis I tend to catch onto their Moon sign behavior before I realize that they’re a Gemini. Could be a mutable thing where they’re versatile enough that their Moon qualities shine more than their sun sign qualities. Very frequently when I try to guess a Gemini’s sun sign I actually guess their Moon sign. They tend to act like their Moon more than other zodiac signs in my experience. They may not even notice it either.

☆ I hope I don’t offend anyone for this one but people with a 𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐒 𝐒𝐔𝐍 𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍 (frequently more moon) mother tend to have veryyyy chaotic childhood stories about her. Somehow these moms tend to often be pretty emotionally unhinged people (no offense but in my experience so many of my friends have a mom with a Pisces sun and/or Pisces moon and they all always tell me how their moms have crazy mood swings or a very erratic behavior). I’m honestly so sorry for anyone who had, or still has to deal with such an environment. 🫂💚

★ 𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐈 & 𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐔𝐒 are the best opposite sign duo in astrology imo. I’ve never seen many Geminis or Sags that say they dislike or don’t get that along with one another. We really click well and even I personally can testify that lol. These two always besties.

☆ Also 𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐒 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 loooove anything to do with 2D characters or just fictional stuff in general. They love their ffs, romance books, making fan arts or edits. Every Pisces I knew had some kind of obsession with multiple fictional characters or shows and each one of them had accounts dedicated to making art or edits about said characters/shows lol. No matter if it’s a manga, an anime, a video game, a song, a movie or a cartoon, a Pisces placement will most probably romanticize a character or wtv it is they feel resonates with them in some way. I know lotta people do that but Pisces are usually more prone to be very frequent and indulgent with it in my experience. Not judging anyone, just pointing it out lol.

That’s all for todayyy ☀︎

Also please don’t copy or claim my content without credit or consent ♡

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Thank you so much for your posts defending Sirius. 🙏🙏🙏 It's so refreshing to read! I'm always a bit taken aback when people say that Sirius' projects James onto Harry tbh - or even that Harry was looking for James in Sirius. I mean, he was the connection, but that's it. They were always so clearly precious to each other (at least to me lol). Honestly, it reads to me like Harry has the least in common with James, on a deeper level. Like, sure, the surface stuff is there but their childhoods, lives and values were so fundamentally different. It's rather sad.

You're welcome and thank you for the kind words! 😊

Yeah, I love Sirius and Harry as individuals and their dynamics with each other. Like, I made it no secret that Harry's my number 1 favorite precious son, but Sirius is a close 2nd most favorite of mine. I just love Sirius a lot, especially in my more recent rereads.

Sirius isn't the image of perfect mental health (how could he be after 12 years in hell?), but he is clever and sensible and much more mature than I'd expect him to be. He so clearly has Harry as his first (and really, only) priority.

Sirius and Harry don't neatly fit into a father-son dynamic, and it's a result of both of their lives up to this point. Harry never had a parent or adult he could look up to as a parent. He was abused all his childhood, and he learned not to trust adults, and yet he trusts Sirius with everything, and he does so easily. But Harry isn't exactly looking for a father, he thinks he is, but he is too independent for that, too uncomfortable with authority of any kind. I think he trusts Sirius as much as he does because their dynamic isn't a neat parent-child one.

And Sirius was sent to Azkaban when he was 21! (younger than I am, which is insane to me) Like a 21-year-old isn't that different from an 18 or 19-year-old in behavior and development, and sure, the war matured him, I'm sure it did. But the kind of maturity war brings is not the same as being allowed to age and grow up. This means Sirius, in his head, is younger. Yes, he is an adult and he can and does act like one, but it is easier for him to connect to Harry and his friends as equals than to the older members of the Order. Like, we see him having fun talking to the younger members more than the older ones (except Remus who's an exception due to their shared past), as Azkaban did stagnate Sirius' development. He was probably quite mature even before Azkaban in ways, war does it to people, being an eldest child with a younger sibling can do it. Even before Azkaban, he was willing to lay down his life for James, Lily, and Harry with no hesitation. But he still has that early 20s behavior to him, especially in OotP when Grimmauld Place brings back all his worst and best memories while being locked there:

“Speaking of dogs,” said Snape softly, “did you know that Lucius Malfoy recognized you last time you risked a little jaunt outside? Clever idea, Black, getting yourself seen on a safe station platform . . . gave you a cast-iron excuse not to leave your hidey-hole in the future, didn’t it?” Sirius raised his wand. “NO!” Harry yelled, vaulting over the table and trying to get in between them, “Sirius, don’t —” “Are you calling me a coward?” roared Sirius, trying to push Harry out of the way, but Harry would not budge. “Why, yes, I suppose I am,” said Snape. “Harry — get — out — of — it!” snarled Sirius, pushing him out of the way with his free hand.

(OotP, 520-521)

Harry, the 15-year-old, needs to be the adult for two 36-year-olds in the above scene. It shows their dynamic isn't a neat one, it's messy and it's between two traumatized individuals who are both trying to protect each other because they are the only thing close to a family that either of them has. They both know what it is to be completely on your own, and they try to be there for each other in their own way.

Honestly, their dynamic kinda reminds me of the one I have with my mother, tbh (if less intense and with way less trauma, lol). Like, yeah, she's my mother, and she would make huge sacrifices for me, but we talk more like we're best friends and not like a mother-daughter. We go shopping together, we gossip and talk shit together like friends do (like, I'm an adult now, so it makes sense, but it was like that when I was 14-15 too). So, like, I know how a dynamic of a parent-child where the child is really mature and independent so they're sorta treated like a friend can be. And it's a lot of fun, I mean, I love my mom and we're still really close friends (although this style of parenting isn't necessarily good for everyone).

And Harry is that. An incredibly mature and independent child who doesn't actually know how to have a parent. And Sirius is not trying to be his father, he isn't trying to be James, which results in their something between a parent-child to close friends dynamic we see. But even with this, Sirius doesn't really see Harry as James, nor does he treat him as James. He sees their similarities, that do exist, but he sees Harry as Harry. Harry who is younger than he is, who he is responsible for, and who he needs to teach and protect. With James, I think it was the opposite. James was kinda the unofficial-official leader of the Mauraders, Sirius usually followed him around (so did Pettigrew and Remus) so their entire dynamic was different. As peers, yes, but, peers where Sirius would defer to James in a way he doesn't with Harry. With Harry, he listens carefully without the friendly shit-talk I'd expect him and James to have and is willing to give out advice that James likely wouldn't have asked for. He'd move heaven and earth for both of them because that's how Sirius is like when he cares about someone.

In my headcanon, how Sirius treats Harry is closer to how he treated Regulus than how he treated James. He is half in denial about it, but this half-parental half-friendly dynamic is probably close to what he had with Regulus. Like, older siblings tend to be the more responsible ones, but it's exaggerated when the parents are absent, neglectful, or generally not overly involved, even when the age difference isn't a large one. I think when they were younger, Sirius, as the heir, got more attention from his parents than Regulus who was a bit overlooked as a child. I honestly think that as children, Walburga and Orion raised Sirius and Sirius raised Regulus (in a way. And in a joint guardianship with Kreature). Baby Regulus looked up to baby Sirius and followed him around constantly and it hurt Regulus so much when Sirius left. I'm sure when they were younger, Regulus would come to Sirius with his issues and Sirius would sit and listen and try to give his advice the way we see him do with Harry.

As for Harry and James being very different on a deep level, yeah, that's definitely the case. Like, they have some surface similarities, besides their looks, but at their cores, they are very different people. I think James' priorities near his death were closer to Harry's, but they had such drastically different experiences growing up and just existing. I think Harry's anger is James' though. I mean, we see Lily when angry, she doesn't curse anyone, or get volatile, instead, she removes herself from the situation (or gets sad in some instances, like with Petunia). Lily is cold when angry. James, on the other hand, is more volatile, we see him curse in anger, cursing Snape after he calls Lily a mudblood. I think this is something Harry shares with James, his volatile temper. But his values, his priorities, his compassion, and his self-sacrificing tendencies are much more Lily than James.

[your-ne1ghbor]

Asha design reference I think idk (TKORAT AU)

She kinda reminds me of young Amaya unironically lol

(probably bc Amaya gave Asha her old clothes 💀💀💀)

(Or that I was playing with my style again for the millionth time)

I FORGOT HER FUCKING FRECKLES NOOOOOOOOO

Also been thinking about changing her sidekick animal to smth different but idk what tbh 🐀

HEheh ofc I had to draw silly angst and moment together

For her dress, Im not even done with it. I wanna add patterns that represents her and the kingdom but idk how to execute it outfit wise atm. Plus, I wanna fix some problems I have with the dress, mainly the middle and top part as well since it really reminds me of FS! Asha and I dont really want that and wasn't trying to go for that 😭

The hair was pretty fun ngl. I got to see a ton of styles in box braids and they're all really pretty :D. I simply went for the pulled back box braids since I thought it fit her well design wise.

The crown was the easiest. I was just simply looking at crowns from medieval times and I kinda got reminded of The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, And the Wardrobe. Specifically the ending where the kids got their crowns.

I felt like it just fit her design wise. But that probs just me being a sucker for flower crowns right now smh 🤦‍♀️

Going back to the dress, I was heavily looking up Spain Outfits from medieval times including some other ones, like the French outfits for example, mainly as inspriation for the outfit so I can come up with my own design of a dress for Asha :D

The rest of the dress kinda came from my pencil, I was just sketching until the design looked right to me and then was like: YES haha

I did look at her early concept version's of Asha as well, but it was only for her hair, since it is always the hair I have trouble with

(plus this is one of my fav styles I see Asha in from the art book lol)

Idk if this will be her ACTUAL FINAL design, but ig it is a part of the process of my overthinking :')

Annnnnndddd ofc thinking how I am gonna traumatize her in her childhood. Hell yeah...

...

:(

[lianhuajing]

this college au isn't getting out of my head so here y'all go, some headcanons

despite being the first in the world at age 15 LXY still ended up with crippling self-worth issues and imposter syndrome.. makes me think he'd be a burnt out fgli (first-generation low-income) student at a rich school.. university au (this has nothing to do at all with my experiences as a fgli student at an ivy league school lmaoo)

of course FDB is a shoo in legacy student and at first LLH is is incredibly annoyed bc FDB is clearly a rich kid who got in with his parents money

the name i picked for FDB is 择信 ("zéxìn" or "to choose faith"). his dad's name is 则仕 ("zéshì" literally "officer" the author is laugh at us so that zé didn't work, i picked another one to better fit my intention. same sound though.)

he's still called duobing as a nickname bc he was a sickly child, but fang zexin is what appears on official documents and his student id. of course his mom and his aunt still call him "xiaobao" and later on so does LLH

FDB abuses his "xiaohua" priviledges and when he extra wants something he'll pull out "xiaohua'er"

just them warming up to each other to deal with school stress. think of all the shenanigans!! i feel like 3am on a school campus is when you feel like you can do anything super well, even make empanadas when you've never made empanadas before (did i do this freshman year? yes.)

bonus: LXY has a phd in bio-med and is a famous researcher, but he's getting a herbology? nursing? (still deciding tbh) degree as LLH and passing it off as his first undergrad. he made a small fortune from his first go around so he can afford it, but i feel like he donated most of it and/or gave it to QMS + QP + SGD

yes i made LXY a genius progidy med student who got into college at 15 and wrangled a phd + patent at age 18. he's literally every asian parent's golden child wet dream. no wonder he disappeared and changed his name and only resurfaced 10 years later.

FDB is of course an engineering and business student (dual degree, our xiaobao is a champ) and he buys all the school swag cuz he has the spirit

bonus bonus: fdb is a professional college fencer lmaoo. do they have professional college martial arts?

bonus bonus li'er is a part of the family staff but the fang/he family pays handsomely so she's kinda uppity. she doesn't understand why her young master is hanging out with someone 1) obviously older and 2) obviously poorer

FDB of course falls in love at first sight bc LLH happens to be the most drop dead gorgeous person he's ever seen and reminds him vaguely of the researcher that helped with the cure to his childhood illness. surely there's no connection right..

FDB is 20 when he starts college bc he took a two year break to do an internship at his mother's company. it looks great on his resume and conveniently works well so i can line up canon ages

FDB finds out LLH is living in a van and immediately tries to move him into his dorm (freshman year). of course that doesn't work out, but i think around sophmore year, once they've started dating, he would've whittled down LLH enough for him to agree to live together in a house off-campus. LLH tries several times to convince the 20yo that he can do better than some old man who's just starting his undergrad at age 28 (my man breathes lies). FDB is literally signing their lease as he speaks.

bonus bonus bonus (and my fave): LLH makes those terrible tiktok recipes that never work but he keeps trying and the first couple of times FDB actually tries pretending that LLH's cooking is fantastic

bonus x4: DFS went to trade school and owns a handyman service (he makes bank doing it) and the jinyuan alliance is his crew of fixers. FDB is convinced DFS is a mob boss because LLH is always calling him Di 老大 (lǎo dà) when he comes around to fix LLH's rundown van. DFS gives LLH the i'm in love with u family discount but he'll never admit to it. the two of them have known each other since grade school.

bonus x5: DFS and LXY both did the same martial arts extracircular and were known rivals (affectionate) in those circles. they were constantly swapping between placing 1st and 2nd in tournaments.

bonus x5 extra bonus just for me: at one point LXY did call DFS "gege" before he grew out of it / they drifted a part. obvs they reconcillated bc LLH needed a van guy and DFS under all those scowls does care for LXY a lot.

bonus x6: LLH and JLQ absolutely know they are cousins (just bc it's hilarious for me if they do). they don't talk about it but JLQ hates him for "stealing" DFS's attention since their naptime days. he's her cousin timmy. LLH doesn't even know that he's seduced the love of her life, he's just vibing. DFS tries to explain to her that he's gay and has never been interested in women, but she doesn't believe in homosexuals exactly like in canon lmaoo

bonus x7: SGD and LXY were both in an orphanage before they got adopted by qi mushan and qin po. SGD protected LXY like an older brother, but got more bitter and jealous as LXY clearly displayed genius level academic excellence and as a by product got more attention (more care into selecting schools, more time dedicated to LXY's extracirculars, more time spent driving LXY to conferences and stuff as his research gained more traction)

can you imagine the pressure little xiangyi would've been put under to excel, and to excel bc he got this chance when all the other kids at the orphanage didn't? qi mushan and qin po weren't exacty rich, i imagine he must've felt so stressed being bombarded with scholarships and whatnot while his brother steadily closed himself off from xiangyi

nothing just imposter syndrome going off the charts when rumors started going around that a mistake in LXY's research cost someone their life. that no one should've trusted a teenager to be that smart. that some orphan kid just wanted attention and should've never been given a chance. it breaks him.

unintential pressure from qi mushan, qin po and SGD. why was he protected / saved / chosen if not to make their lives easier and to make them proud with his achivements. he's carrying his made-up expectations of their expectations and SGD's expectations

something something my dad was drunk one night and came on campus and told me i was the hope of our entire family bc i was the first to get into a good school and i could make something of myself. i was 18 at the time, same age as when LXY during his famous battle, and i just. feel some type of way. like. the man was carrying the expectations of the entire jianghu on his back. how was he not gonna be overwhelmed and break down?

bc this is a modern au i can make LXY go to therapy :) it takes a few years for him to be convinced to go (he is asian after all LOL), but he does go eventually and it helps him get the will to start again. FDB knows and actively encourages and praises LLH for taking care of himself.

LLH still carries the same self-hatred he has for his younger self bc he thinks his arrogance caused a mistake in his research and ended up causing ppl to die. he's working on it, okay, it's gonna take time

i'll end this with some crack: FDB accidentally hears DFS call LLH "xiangyi" and proceeds to give him an entire speech abt deadnames and such. it's bc he's seen LLH react to being called "xiangyi" before (come on, this guy was a prodigy and he's back at uni, some of the professors are bound to recognize him) and it's never pretty. he ends by saying "it's not like lianhua is running away from the law, he's not doing anything wrong" yes he thinks LLH is trans lmaoo. the entire time, DFS is giving him an incredious look. LXY was in fact running away from the law (or at least the press lmaoo). LLH is just standing there with an amused look on his face like "my xiaobao is a little confused, but he's got the spirit"

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

Hear me out, this probably isn't really too crazy to say but Step 2 would be a perfect fit for the Jerk Squad

And considering how Frederick and Nichole are, tbh I can see them sending Tam to the boarding school in XOXO Droplets because of the prestige and wanting their daughter to have the best academics the US education system can offer (assuming they ended up taking her back when the originally planned)

Qiu would thrive but Tamarack would barely be swimming but damn now I'm out here trying to develop ships and shit. Are y'all seeing my vision here???

I can see Everett crushing on Qiu for sure honestly. He would like the way they carry themselves, one hot jerk to another.

Ngl I can see Nate and Tamarack becoming a thing once he gets over the emotional intimacy fear thing. I say this because in my head, I see NateTam being a childhood ??? to lovers type beat. Their parents all went to the same university and are all good friends, so they grew up knowing each other. He's known Tam since their elementary school days back when she was just an energetic wild child who got on his nerves and saw her transform into the shy, insecure person she is in Step 2. So he begrudgingly looks out for her, in his own Nate way, at their school. Part because his parents told him to and ask him about Tamarack incessantly and part because he kinda, sorta, lowkey, can quietly admit he cares about her. Kind of. You won't catch him admitting that shit out loud for a WHILE though

(JB calls Tamarack 'Candi with an I' because her eyes remind JB of candied apples)

And hear me out... Jeremy and Tamarack. Tamarack's autumn gold gamboge hair with its beautiful sparkles is what makes Jeremy stop hating the color orange. Like it would be rocky of course, especially since whether regardless Tam wouldn't be a Jerk Squad member, but I can see it still coming to fruition. Like I'm not sure what exactly the dynamic would be... but I still see it. She gets a job working at his parents' shop, he listens to her practice the cello and doesn't have much to complain about which is basically as much glaze as someone can get from the guy, so yeah. Pretty high praise. His parents would be all over setting him and Tamarack up because she's so sweet, they think she would be perfect for him.

Sweet as Tamarack is though, she's opinionated and is one to move forward even if someone else won't go with her. She's got some sass and spunk so she won't be so sweet that Jeremy wouldn't be able to stand being around her for long periods of time.

But I also think Jeremy and Qiu would be really good together too honestly. Not just aesthetically, but I think they'd get a kick out of each in their own way. Plus, Qiu knowing Pran already helps

Feed my delusions in the ask box. What's your OL/XOXO crossover thoughts?

[rkvriki]

— taste of your lips

hello everyone ! this is a little different from what i usually do. don't really know how to feel about it tbh i've never wrote a drabble like this one 😭

make sure to leave feedback. my asks are open and so is my inbox so let's talk !

WARNINGS ! contains suggestive themes, painfully cliché, i very new to writing things that aren't headcanons so this might be bad, might contain grammar errors.

a/n: this was not what i was planning to post but i wanted to give this a try and i kinda hate it ???? this is so new to me, i've never wrote something like this before I'm so nervous 😭

word count: 0.5k i'm sorry this is so short 😭

it was a chill day and jake was hanging out at your apartment. you were taking a shower while jake was on your couch scrolling through his phone with a lollipop in his mouth. jake loved candies and he had a special preference for lollipops, they just reminded him of his childhood and made him happy. he was really enjoying the cherry flavor that was slowly melting in his taste buds leaving an overly sweet taste in his mouth.

he didn’t hear you coming in the living room until he felt the couch dip and you sat down next to him. jake didn’t look at you and wrapped an arm around your shoulders making you cuddle his side.

“you smell good, you got a new shampoo?” he said, finally turning to you and taking a whiff from your hair.

“yeah i got it this week. smells nice doesn’t it?” you said smiling and kissing his cheek, the smell of cherries invading your senses since you were so close to his mouth. an idea popped in your head but you ignored it for a while and started making conversation with him, talking about how your day went and the latest gossip at work.

while jake was talking, you could see the lollipop moving around his mouth, making it hard to ignore the thought that came to your mind earlier.

jake took the lollipop from his mouth absentmindedly as he talked, and before he could put it back in his mouth you grabbed it and took it in your own mouth, taking him by surprise.

you closed your lips around it as you started sucking on it, slightly smiling at his reaction.

jake found himself out of words, feeling his heart racing as he watched you sucking on the candy that was previously in his mouth, but still found himself unable to look away from you.

You finished the lollipop and got up to put the stick away, jake’s eyes following your every move. A sly smile was adorning your face as you sat back on the couch next to him.

“that was good, cherry right?” you asked him innocently.

“yeah” jake said still in a daze “it was cherry, yes.”

you laughed and kissed his cheek, feeling him relax at the sound of your laugh, the affect you had on him surprised him every time.

“care to share another one?” you asked tilting you head while looking at him. jake laughed looking away as he felt his cheeks warming up.

“one day you’ll drive me crazy, i swear to god.” he told you while reaching for another lollipop in the jar that sat in the table in the middle of the room.

—--

somehow sharing lollipops with jake became a routine during you hang outs.

jake and you had went to the park to go for a walk with layla and as you were sitting down, jake pulled a warped lollipop from his pocket. you were a little taken back by this action but still smiled at him, a little confused.

“let’s share?”

[dol-dee]

So... you imagine DoL set in the early 2000s? ME TOO. Tell me more about that!

aaaaaaa yes I do!!!! (Sorry for the late reply haha. I kept forgetting to come back to this ask) I think I started to feel that way pretty early on, since there's hardly any electronics around in game.

You don't have access to a phone yourself (which, admittedly makes sense as an orphan) but electronics get barely mentioned in general. (I'm guessing the true reason for it, is that it would be too much of a hassle to implement electronics as a mechanic in game. bc arguably you should easily be able to buy a phone or w/e later on, if dol actually took place in our time) Named npcs often have phones to record you with (which I kinda forgot about tbh lmao) but unless in that context, phones don't get brought up at all iirc. None of the named npcs ever ask you for your phone number and Social media isn't really a topic of conversation either.

The only Computers that I remember mentioned in game are Leightons, Mickey's, Kylars and the one you can check in the police station. (I don't remember if Bailey even has one or not.) They are far and few between. They also all read as desktop computers to me and not laptops. Hell, the only gaming Console to ever be a topic of interest, is Robins. I don't think we hear of/see any handheld conosles at all. Even TV's rarely get mentioned.

Pop Culture, like manga, anime and games doesn't seem to be a big thing yet either.

All of that gives me the impression that most electronic is still pretty sparse and hard to come around and kinda reminds me of my childhood when those interests where still conisdered niche/nerdy and weird. The few characters that have desktop pc's seem to be ones that had/have enough money (like Kylar, maybe Bailey?) to foot the bill, are either in a high enough position of power to own one (like leighton) or they're involved enough in shady business that they might have the resources to have their own equipment (Mickey).

tbf a lot of my reasoning can be argued against or easily explained away, but I think dol is infinitely more interesting as a game/story when it's set during the early/mid 2000s, where most electronics were still hard to come by.

Oh and last but not least: it simply makes for easier story telling haha. I think there would be way more ""plot holes"" you'd have trouble explaining away if it was set during modern times. considering how much digital surveilance we have nowadays.

Aside from all the examples I just brought up, dol just has that 2000s grime to me. It's so grungy and dank in it's vibes that it always reminds me of that timeframe. Just has that kinda clunky/kitschy charm to it. (a more eclectic personal explanation is that the seasons in game still feel the way I remember them for my childhood. nowadays everything feels really out of wack thanks to global warming. Although I'm sure that people who are older than me would say the same haha)

to keep this already long post short(er lmao) I'm gonna go into some headcanons under the cut; Basically which Characters have electronics and why:

Avery: has an expensive af and extremely clunky looking (by todays standards) work laptop, that she sometimes lugs around. Also owned one of the first mobile phones. Those really big and blocky ones. Maybe even had one of those phones that were built into cars. However, I think shed be kinda annoyed by mobile phones*, even if she's extremely diligent in answering her calls. (the grind never stops) *based on this comic from 1919 about pocketphones: Mostly because she strikes me as someone who doesn't care to be overly accessible and also hates it when whatever shes doing at the moment gets disrupted by something else.

Alex: Canonically has a phone in game. To me it's a landline phone. They don't own much electronics beside it. They have no desktop pc and no mobile phone. (canonically the own a tv and I feel like they'd have a radio, maybe even an old record player) Bailey: It would make sense for them to have a desktop computer but I can't remember if they canonically (and with that I mean in game) do have one or not. I could see it either way tbh. As they strike me as a stubborn hard ass whos paranoid about electronics and quickly gets annoyed by it) They only own burner phones aside from the official landline phone thats designated for "over the counter" orphanage business. Eden: Has an old ass radio and an extremely dusty burner phone that bailey gave them once. They don't own anything else

Harper: has a mobile phone they got from Remy, it's purely for business. I don't think they have one for personal business. They own a pager though bc of the hospital. They probably have a desktop pc too if only for hospital stuff.

Kylar: Has a Desktop pc, their parents footed the bill for that many screened monstrosity (tbf i dont know enough to remember if old pcs are even able to have several monitors connected to them or not). Probably had a mobile phone once. Whitney stole it. They own a few consoles but they prefer pc gaming (pc master race /j) Some 2000s era games (with no consideration for an exact timeframe) that I think Kylar would be into are : Vampire: The Masquerade Bloodlines American McGee's Alice Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3 / Persona 3 Portable The Urbz: Sims in the City The Sims 2 The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask

Robin: No mobile phone, the only electronics they keep around (until they inevitably need to sell them for emergency money) are an old tv and a gaming console. I have no concrete headcanons regarding the exact console and games unfortunately. (They seem to like superhero related stuff and I don't remember enough games that I associate with that direction of the top of my head)

Sydney: Has access to a landline phone but thats it. they don't have a mobile phone. Maybe they got to look at/ try out a pc at Kylars house once upon a time, but I don't think Sirris has one themself. I might be off with this but I could see Sirris being the one who bought a few early nintendo consoles like the SNES and Game Cube. Maybe even a gameboy.

Whitney: I don't think Whitney or their family is particularly wealthy so all of the access to electronics that they got, is either through wealthier friends, bullying or stealing. They have a mobile phone and probably a few handheld consoles they nabbed off their victims (in secret).

[olenvasynyt]

Hi, i have a question. Is it possible that Elain interest on Azriel has something to do with the fact that he looks human without the wings? because Elain saying she doesn't want a Male and him being a male and they almost kissing kinda confused me a bit.

I got a few things to say about this:

A lot of people say this because of this quote (thanks to @starsreminisce for sharing it with me)

Azriel only sat on his heels and offered me a hand up. My flesh burned as I gripped his fingers, a mortifying number of pine needles and splinters tumbling off me. My back throbbed enough that I lowered my wings, not caring if they dragged in the dirt as Azriel led me toward the lake edge. In the blinding sun off the turquoise water, his shadows were gone, his face stark and clear. More … human than I had ever seen him.

Without his shadows, he looks more human but I feel like this was Feyre noticing the compassion and vulnerability from Az than about his looks. Because remember...he's got giant ass wings. We can't just take that away. This is a moment where he is helping Feyre, showing compassion, and he is showing a bit of his own vulnerability in that moment, becuase he is training Feyre at something he struggled with in her early age. He tells Feyre this and explains a bit of his childhood and also the Nephelle philosophy:

“'You’re immortal.  You’re very hard to break.'  That’s what I told myself.”

Feyre relates being human to being vulnerable. She does that very often, with herself in ACOTAR but also with other characters who show fear: example, this quote when Feyre was describing how she saw the Bone Carver to Rhys:

“A boy—around eight; dark-haired and blue-eyed.” Rhys shuddered—the most human gesture I’d seen him make.

So I have a couple theories on why Elain likes Azriel. And please note: Elain saying she doesn't want a Male and him being a male and they almost kissing one is normal for characters in SJMs story. So many of SJMs FMCs change their mind. In TOG, Celaena was in love with Chaol and he reminded her of home or something along those lines and then they fell off and she's now mates with Rowan. Feyre didn't want to have a kid in ACOMAF, then was thinking about it in ACOFAS, and then had a kid on ACOSF. SJM also isn't afraid of her FMCs having sex with characters who are not their mates, ie Feyre with whatshisname in the barn (I don't remember I'm so sorry) and then Tamlin before she became mates with Rhys, and then Nesta sleeping around in Velaris. Being desperate and trying to find love happens when you're in a low place in your life.

I will be fully honest (and I feel like some Azriel stans might not like this) I feel like Azriel reminds Elain of Grayson. I don't have my books with me so I can't share the quote but there was a part in ACOWAR where we go to the Grayson estate and Feyre describes him to be a knight in shining armor.

The panting young man was so … human-looking. Handsome, brown-haired, blue-eyed, but … human. Solidly built beneath his light armor, tall—perhaps a mortal ideal of a knight who would swoop a beautiful maiden onto his horse and ride off into the sunset.

And then Azriel rescues Elain from the Hybern camp as her knight in shining armor. That's Azriel's biggest thing.

If Lucien was the one who rescued Elain from the Hybern camps and not Az, then Elain would feel more obligated to talk to him tbh. And tbh Lucien would have been watching Elain before the incident and would have never let her get taken in the first place. Mate going feral.

Az is also quite different from Lucien in many ways: light vs dark powers, Az dresses more simply, has dark hair (like Grayson), is part of the Night Court (and Elain might feel pressured to stay in the Night Court and feels the same as Az where three sisters three brothers is the easiest route), and he's also just...not Lucien. Because again, she does not want a mate, which was part of Elain's explanation to Feyre about not wanting to talk to Lucien.

And this might be very controversial but...that bonus chapter? Lucien was there that night on the solstice. The bond might have been pulled tight and Elain might have been influenced (turned on) by that.

Anyways, this was a long reply with a lot of different parts. But E/riel (imo) is meant to add more tension and struggle to Elain and her bond with Lucien. This is part of Elain's struggle with herself and her struggle with fate.

[66sharkteeth]

more thoughts (positive for a change)

sorry to keep treating this like a personal journal when most of you are here for CoB content but it remains the 1 place where i feel semi-safe talking about things w/o blasting them to 10k+ people while also having more than 0 people listening

but just feeling a little hopeful for once! i got invited to speak on my 2nd ever panel today. it looks like it's a small convention and it's far too early to know if it'll actually pan out (not even responding today bc im trying to be more strict about giving myself wednesdays off), but it's still just...really cool that i'm actually being recognized as a professional and invited to things.

i still think so much about how when i was like.....12....or something, we had to do one of those like...dream life assignments. and i remember exactly what i said- i wanted to be a mangaka in japan with a studio apartment (yes, i was a very cringy kid. i called my friends -chan and -kun too). then i got older and more realistic. realized i could do art, but never my own project, and yeah, that's what i did for a long time.

yet... here i am now?!! granted, i never moved to japan (which i'm fine w/ lol) and it turns out studio apartments kinda suck and i much prefer a 1 bedroom...but i'm making a living off of that comic i came up w/ in middle school when had 0 concept of reality and how unlikely the chance to do that would be. and... i dunno! for a kind of rare moment, i feel like i can keep doing it (knock on wood)? if it's not obvious by now, i can get kinda doom and gloom about my future (and i wont even think about the industry as a whole w/ AI becoming more of a problem every day), but just for this moment i feel kinda optimistic?

i still have no idea what my future holds with webtoon. I have no idea when I'll have something ready to pitch again or if they'll even take it, but for once I feel like that uncertainty doesn't mean all or nothing. I kinda feel confident for once that even once CoB concludes on Webtoon, I can keep doing this to some capacity, whether that's through another series, physically printing CoB, somehow continuing CoB, I dunno yet. like i dunno. i think i'm just finally having this dawning realization that i am a professional? and other people see me as such? ik, probably a dumb thing to just now be realizing but blah blah, imposter syndrome or something, etc etc.

not sure where i'm going with this but just thank you guys for your support. if you're one of the like 100 people who actually follow me here, tbh you're probably one of my more dedicated readers, so thanks for being part of making this quite literal childhood fantasy dream come true. and shout out to the people actually inviting me to stuff on the super slight chance they actually follow me here. it seriously gave me kind of a reminder that oh yeah, i am a professional and good at this

[osarina]

oh carina have you read the manga oyasumi punpun? it’s terribly depressing imo and it reminded me a lot of dazai. i kept thinking of him and reader as punpun and aiko, if you’ve read it ykwim. though not the exact same plot because a lot of shit went down and it got pretty dark tbh. but i keep thinking of him and reader both being in elementary school and having miserable home lives like the characters, and then meeting when reader transferred to his class and it would be love at absolute first sight for him, and they’d grow closer and so on…in my little au they run away together and everything ends up fine which the characters didn’t actually get to do. have you ever thought of writing a childhood friends au for dazai where we get to see his relationship with reader through the years because that would be absolutely adorable. i’ve been imagining him and reader both belonging to wealthy families in a town on the outskirts of tokyo, since it’s kinda hinted that bsd dazai is from the countryside like the real author was. they’re like 11 or something and attend school together in the same class and reader is well liked and popular with their peers, but not him since he is perceived as odd by others due to his reclusive and quiet nature, this gloomy personality of his having been largely shaped by his neglectful and bad home life, yet he cannot help but silently admire reader. one day after school there is a thunderstorm and the rain is pouring, and all the other kids get picked up by their parents, except for reader and dazai. their parents being busy doing rich people stuff or whatever, leaves them without anyone to pick them up, so now they’re the only people left in the school. this leads to reader approaching him and them talking while waiting out the rainstorm together. the next day, reader stays behind after school instead of heading home with the others, since dazai usually takes a while to pack being in no hurry to get home, and asks if he wants to walk home together. and so it begins. they become very close, him especially becoming immensely attached to reader, her being the sole good thing in his life and his very reason for breathing. but then at 14 yo, news come from his parents that his poor old grandfather is sick back in yokohama and that they’re gonna visit since it’s so close. well, poor old grandfather turns out to be a mafia boss and dazai is promptly abandoned by his parents at the hands of the old man, and separated from reader. three years later, he’s on an important mission to take out a dangerous member of a rival organization and is watching through binoculars as his assassins are attempting to get a clear shot of the member, a woman getting out of a car, but just as they’re about to pull the trigger, she turns around, and his heart drops and his blood runs cold, abruptly yelling sharp orders for them to cease the operation at once. the rival member would live to see another day, and many more if he could help it, because she turned out to be none other than reader, having somehow made her way into the criminal underworld as well.

OH MY GODDDDDDDD NONNIEEEEE UR BRAIN - i've actually been really wanting to do a TRUE childhood friends to strangers to lovers fic w dazai, set before he meets mori and then they meet again later on BUT YOUR BRAIN ?? MAKING HER PART OF AN ENEMY ORGANIZATION ??? THAT'S SO GOOD WHAT

no but can we pls talk about childhood friends with dazai :') growing up with him. dazai being the youngest kid of a wealthy family, often neglected by the rest of his family and left to his own devices. he's so lonely and sad all of the time and people in school think he's weird or are maybe jealous of his family's wealth so they exclude him from everything. and then you come in, transfer midway through the year and there's only one open seat left in class and it's next to dazai. the other kids obviously make comments about it, calling him weird and telling u to come sit over at their table for lunch so dazai thinks it's just going to be more of the same. sits alone at lunch like always, picks at his food, but then you come to sit next to him and the rest is history :') UGHHHHH CHILDHOOD FRIENDS MY BELOVED

[hanarchy]

I'm a Chan girlie (derogatory) and I do agree tbh. He seems like a genuinely good guy but I feel like he's got issues and needs therapy tbh with you. But then again, I have a hard time blaming him for that, boy was pushed from a young age by his weird ass parents to be famous, was flown out to a foreign country on his own at like 12 or 13 and immediately put in the worst position a young teen who just likes music could be in. I really like the guy, but a lot of his fans act like he's a lot more than what it is: a musically talented good looking dude who just happened to become famous.

mhm yeah i think like. he’s an interesting case study in terms of kpop and fame in general. i have a feeling this reply is gonna get ridiculously long so i’m sorry in advance.

edit: ok i split it up into parts:

1. teenager and industry in general

2. early career and skz as a group

3. recent position in the company and fans

edit 2: i also put it under a read more. listen i know u never asked me to psychoanalyze bang christopher chan on this beautiful august evening but i, like literally everyone else in this fandom, just cannot resist it 💀

bro i gotta be honest with u idk why i typed all this out and theres certainly no real point but its done now

1. teenager and kpop industry in general

like i think chan is the perfect idol less in how talented he is (please do not misconstrue this as me saying he is not talented that is not what i said) but much much more in this ‘narc energy’ i tried to describe earlier. it is very obvious that companies don’t just look for star quality but also for obedience and what they like to call ‘good nature’ as well as for resilience and the willingness to basically destroy yourself for your career.

and chan certainly has that. like i think about how he speaks about his dad and how deeply uncomfortable it makes me to hear him talk because it reminds me of soso many of my childhood friends who thought they needed to live up to some ideal their parents either picked for them or represented. now most people kind of start developing away from that in their teenage years and form an identity of their own but what kpop companies do really effectively is to intervene in that process and give these teens a new ideal to neatly replace the old one.

on the one hand that’s kind of convenient because it means you have to do much less emotional work, if your parents are supportive of this dream it makes for an easy transition for them, too because you don’t have to fight them for more freedom all the time and honestly apart from the dieting it is a relatively safe way to assert independence. like teenagers are also impulsive and kinda bad at making decisions so i saw a lot of my friends go down a much more self-destructive road than becoming a trainee.

on the other hand though you do have to grow up sometime and if you really take the idol life and that dream seriously that kinda means selling your body and soul to a deeply corrupt capitalist machine and a faceless public that each have the power to make or break you. like you promise so much of your energy, future earnings and also just so much of your time on earth to this career before you’ve ever even had a normal job.

like by all accounts chan was way too young to understand what any of this entailed when he decided to do it (frankly i think its hard to understand even as an adult like i certainly have no fucking idea what it must feel like to have thousands of people on the internet ask you to show them your bedroom)

and like whats especially twisted (i think its mostly post bts but i think as a prototype shinee are a good example as well and i think tbh kpop also learned from the success of one direction and how intensely parasocial that was thanks to a casting show) is that companies figured out that fans form a close emotional bond with idols who are perceived to have struggled and suffered. like it’s a good story for the underdog to make it big, for the guys with a creative vision to do their own thing to make it in a highly regulated industry.

it’s kind of obvious with how many groups get documentaries where they cry and struggle and how few of them get actual psychological help that companies have an incentive to make them suffer (justice for my sweet sakura she needs rest and support and PRIVACY).

now i’m not saying anyone is being tortured or anything and i’m not one of those ‘kpop is trafficking’ truthers like i think its much more mundane in how they use the natural stressors of the job, cultural expectations and the idols’ own perfectionism or traits and just point a camera at them.

for chan its the being the eldest child responsibility, the real need to please his father figures and his perfectionist nature. plus i do think foreign idols (even from korean families) often feel they need to prove that they can be a part of korean society, that they are as respectful and well behaved and understand the norms and customs.

and jyp(e) (both the man and the company) was kind of able to twist their role in his life to be both his torturer and his savior in how they played the stray kids survival show and his trainee career. showering him in praise and at the same time never debuting him, letting him pick his members and then basically publicly tearing all his choices apart over 9 episodes. etc etc

like he was always gonna come out of that mix either really loving the company and authority figures in his life or deeply resenting all of it and i think his ambition and pride (which can keep u from admitting u made a wrong decision) kept him from the latter option.

2. early career and skz as a group

i think early adulthood is kind of the time where you get to test your new identity you created as a teen against the reality of living in the world. are your talents enough? is your self-image correct? do you have the strength and resilience to be who you want to be? did you know how to pick the right people to support you and be friends with?

and i think like this is where chan felt like his choice of sticking with the company was correct because they gave him comebacks, money, creative support, creative freedom, they didnt doubt the group when woojin left and gave chan so many things to make the music he wants to make and also they had the patience to wait out the first win, the first hit, the parasocial fanbase and so on.

so like that probably solidified his impression that he made the right choice and again all the stress and the pressure coupled with that support made this kind of abusive bond between the company and chan even stronger.

and now you have him caring for the whole group, which is both exploiting and playing into his strength which is his sense of responsibility. and i think again he probably felt like a gift was being given to him in the form of a debut and 7 guys who he could care for and who also cared for him enough to take on some of that responsibility.

he’s testing his self perception of being talented, reliable, strong against the reality of being an idol and he feels like he made the right choices, like the identity he picked for himself as a teen is viable and so his love for the company is reinforced and is strengthened by his love for the members.

plus you get this fan layer which is another highly complex relationship to process. its kind of unconditional adoration except its HIGHLY conditional and you dont know what those conditions are. i think his reaction to that random cornrow thing and how he generally seems indignant and mad about being told what to do by fans is soooooo interesting bc like. this is the king of fanservice to a frankly ABSURD degree like no other idol is that bad, again i’m sorry to the chan girls but that bbl vibe is so…. 😬

so it gains another layer and maybe a realer support system and more true friendships that arent transactional. but at the same time he gains this faceless crowd making decisions for him. like thats a tangled psychological web and its obvious why he would be so loyal to the company and the established status quo since they never wavered in their support for him even when he was stupid and more importantly EVEN when he wasnt making them money.

3. recent position in the company and fans

now like. ive been talking about him kind of as if he doesnt know that his relationship with the company is transactional but i think he has always been aware of it but that he was just ok with what he got out of it. because i think he also has a veryyyyy healthy self confidence and his ambition is BIG like.

i always say that the only thing abt skz’s personalities that i am actually certain of is their ambition. they want to be the biggest group in the company, in the industry, they want to be the biggest group in the world. I think chan has wanted that for a long time. and i think he understands why the company built the narratives they did.

like i actually kind of disagree with you a little bc i think he very very deliberately got famous and he also deliberately did it in this company. because as hard to navigate as this whole web is emotionally, for a man in a kpop company (and yes, gender is EXTREMELY important in this context) theres also a fixed set of rules and steps to influence and power (there are some exceptions like got7 but even they were eventually able to leave with their group name and trademarks which is entirely unheard of for girl groups). he followed the steps laid out by jype and he has what he wanted now. and i think bang chan today has a lot of agency, he has a lot of power over the group but also in the company so in many ways he did actually make the right decisions when he was very young and i think this position in the company is good for his pride as well.

now you mentioned his fans and how weird some of them are about him and i think tbh it’s somewhat normal and expected that they are this weird abt him given the entire strange and complex relationship i just explained. like he himself does not know how to handle his fans in a way thats healthy for him. i think channies room was the biggest proof of that and the way his confidence seems to have skyrocketed since that ended is kind of interesting to me.

like ok heres my last mean statement about him: he does not care about his fans more than any other idol. he does not mean to ‘protect’ all of us. he is appreciative and grateful. and i think something unique about him and skz is that there seem to be very many kpop (male) groups who dont like being known for kpop or as idols. they want credit as artists and singers and musicians in other genres. i think hes unique in that he has real respect for idol music and idol work and the kind of fans that come along with it (young women).

i also think he means it when he says skz aims to be a safe place for their fans and a fun place but i think he had to find out what that means for himself. he genuinely seems to want good things for people but he used to pretend he had a personal relationship with every single fan and that’s bound to lead to a fucked reaction from fans. like him pretending to be your boyfriend on bbl or him yelling at that seoul concert or the strangely intimate nature of chans room all kind were his own doing and i do think its a bit of his own fault that fans are this weird abt him.

and i think he probably thought he had to do all that because of how much responsibility he took on in the company and EVERYTHING i mentioned above so like. his own perception is also fucked. but i think realizing that he is allowed boundaries and that he can have a relationship with fans on his own terms has been very good for him. theres a real sense of separation these days, he seems to volunteer information or photos/content rather than having it forced out of him.

unfortunately the damage is done and chan stans are already… like that. like i have NEVER met a chan bias who doesnt on some level believe they know him better than everyone else, even the most level headed ones. hell i kinda think i understand him better than everyone else (look at this stupidly long post). and the recent distance that is perceived as new and unusual from him has left a lot of fans feeling rejected. and because they put him up on such a high pedestal and believe all of his declarations of love they cant stand the idea that it was his doing/decision and look for some other thing to blame (the company, other fans, the members… the list goes on)

[one-vivid-judgment]

Hello. Could I please request some comfort headcanons with Joon-gi, Seonhee, Zhao and Tesso with a verbally domestically abused s/o? Tbh your headcanons and just any random post are kinda soul healing and even therapeutic. They give me strength to mentally deal with any unpleasant situation. So, um, thank you.

I'm so glad my posts give you strength, anon! Tbh I picked up writing myself for therapeutic purposes, so it's good to know someone else is getting something out of this as well! I genuinely wish you the best!

Joongi Han

He can relate, actually. He didn’t exactly have a normal childhood: mom passed away when he was still too young to know any better, and his dad who was already abusive before, turned to drinking and his behavior only got worse. He wouldn’t wish that on his worst enemy, much less someone he loves as much as you.

Thankfully, he is no longer in that stage where he will get queasy talking about the subject because the wound is still too fresh. He would have probably had a breakdown if you had brought up the subject a few years earlier, but now he’s... grown used to it. Any pain is dulled out by now, so you can freely talk to him about your situation. He knows you need someone to turn to, and if he is not that person for you, what kind of boyfriend would that make him?

Will hold you silently and just let you talk, hands running up and down your back. He’ll suggest using the Geomijul surveillance system to keep you safe—even if you say no, he will probably go through with it anyway because he can’t stand seeing you like that. If not the entire Geomijul, just himself is enough. He can free up hours of his schedule to watch over you; Seonhee will understand. It will also be her who suggests he brings you over to the Geomijul to stay for good. They have enough bowguns left and are still a threatening enough presence around Ijincho to know no one would dare mess with them.

Seonhee

Unlike Joongi, she hasn’t gone through abuse herself. She’s heard the horror stories from Yeonsu though, so she has some idea of just how bad it can get. Enough to be absolutely fucking fumming by the time you are done telling her about your situation. You can be sure she will take matters into her own hands, even if you try to stop her.

Don’t worry, it won’t be anything like straight up murdering your abuser (though, why lie, she really wants to, and the Geomijul has the means to do that; she can ask Zhao for help disposing of the body, too. Meat bun filling). She will, however, make sure there is always someone watching over you. Most likely Joongi, but if he is out of comission, then it will be anyone else. If it gets too bad, she will do the watching herself. And if it gets real bad? Seonhee is outright snatching you away. She can make extra room for you in the Geomijul HQ, to make sure that person is too scared to come get you.

Not a day goes by where she doesn’t ask you how you are holding up. She’s seen what abuse can do to a person (see, Yeonsu, and to an extent, Zhao), and she has learned the importance of asking those questions. You can come to her with whatever is troubling you, you know that, but she still makes sure to remind you.

Zhao Tianyou

It will take you some time to convince him not to do anything that could potentially land him in jail. You’ve never seen Zhao so mad in your life, and he doesn’t usually yell for no good reason, but man, does he want to kill the bastard that’s putting you through all this. But he also knows it wouldn’t be useful (albeit pretty satisfactory) to get thrown in the slammer and leave you alone.

You Tian is your new home. You can stay for as long as you want: hours, days if you want to. Anything that doesn’t involve you going home to your abuser sounds great in his book. His Liumang loyalists are now basically your full time bodyguards, and if that doesn’t work to intimidate the asshole in question, he’ll have to give them a very stern talking-to. Full of death threats and intimidation tactics. It will prove hard to not take his saber with him though.

He makes sure to be extra sweet to you. Always cooking your favorite dishes, always making sure you are feeling okay. He’ll introduce you to Kasuga and the others if you are up for it, and they’ll quickly become your biggest and best support network. To be honest, Zhao may have grown a little paranoid after the whole ordeal and might need to have you within eyeshot to make sure you are safe. He knows, he knows. But he won’t let it go too far to the point it gets unhealthy.

Tesso

Honestly, he wants to get angry. Hell, he should get angry! But all he can muster is hug you.  He is at the verge of crying when he does. He’s a sensitive man, these things affect him, and the fact that you are going through that when you don’t deserve it at all? Well, you bet your ass it upsets him.

It’s not professional of him, but he’ll admit he sometimes skips Liumang work to go check on you. Like Zhao, he might get a little paranoid about what happens to you when you are out of his sight. He might have hired Tsukumo and Sugiura (Yagami too, if he happens to be in Yokohama) to keep an eye on you; as far as he’s concerned, that’s money well spent. He wishes he could do more—he’ll suggest you run away and stay at his apartment in Restaurant Row. It’s deep enough in Liumang turf that it’s pretty much guarateed your abuser won’t chase after you, if they have half a brain.

His hugs are therapy in and of itself. Helps that he’s a cuddler and pretty much can’t sleep if he isn’t hugging you. Now that he knows what you’ve had to go through, he has all the more reason to do that. He can’t help the smile when he wakes up and sees that you are by his side and not back at that shitty home you grew up in.

[stevie-petey]

okay hello hi, took entire 24 hours to process (it's 1am yet again) and now im here for insights !!!

firstly, i LOVE hopper and bug SOOOOO MUCH DUDE. YOU ATE WITH THEIR SCENES, THE CONCERN, THE CONNECTION, THE HUGGGGGGGG I FUCKING LOVE IT !!!! (can u tell i have daddy issues) and just now that their relationship was getting good, he goes & dies (lol) and will come back in the end of s4 ://///

also really wish to see more of murray x bug too, chaotic duo would love it !

the. casual. fucking. intimacy. between stug omg, it was there before too but it just HITS after they've kissed. lovely.

the seperation goodbye, especially with jon & nance <3

mind flayer is such a cockblock bruh, they're at a hill looking over hawkins and talking like screech later bitch.

reaching the mall, her sitting in steve's lap & SINGING NEVER ENDING STORY HELLO?????? kinda rlly wanted a suzie bug interaction (hoping you pull it off somehow)

the fucking mall scene. holy shit i had goosebumps, m. her running down AFTER KISSING STEVEEEEE and shit dude shit your foreshadowing went HARDDDDDDDD. billy saying he tried to find her?!?!?! still hate him but OMG?!?!?!?!

genuinely the foreshadowing is insane, bug already carries so much guilt but now billy AND hopper ON TOP OF will and maybe barb???? wow m wow i cannot fucking wait for s4 im so excited for EVERYTHING !!!!!! the vecna angst is gonna be CRAAAAAZZZZYYYY AND OH EXCITED ESPECIALLY FOR EDDIE X BUG !!!!! pls be a friendship pls be a friendship pls be a friendship pls be a friendship-

okay ANYWAY back to the chapter, steve and bug's conversation about her luck running out THEN THE LOVE CONFESSION !!!! I WENT FUCKING FERAL I TELL YOU LIKE GENUINELY I WAS SCREECHING IN THE DEAD OF THE NIGHT. literally could not be more PERFECT.

ik max and bug in s4 will be closer than ever, cannot wait to see that dynamic <3

okay the LOVERS LAKE SCENE ?????????????????? THE MAKING OUT ???????? THE I LOVE YOUS ???????? THE FUCKING BRACELET ???????? i was literally fanning my eyes trying not to cry because it was just so adorable and wholesome and i was MELTING. couldn't be anymore perfect.

the finding out of jon moving :((((

AND the goodbye scene :(((((

with joyce, with WILL !!!! love how she already knows about him and im sure she will be the first person he'll confide in :'))) i love their relationship so much, i will need some will x bug blurbs pls m.

and the goodbye with jon <!3 it was so emotional, alsoooo FOREHEAD TOUCHES ????? (loved it. adorable.) but nancy you're one STRONG soldier, i would NOT have tolerated lmao

anyway got real teary eyed during the end. and one tear dramatically rolled down my cheek as i finished reading but very grateful we have season 4 coming up next BUT THE BONUS CHAPTER BEFORE THAT I WILL BE WAITING EAGERLY FOR THAT !!!! bonus chapters are literally my favourite since it's completely m original and im a big m fan :3

so yes ! we're done with s3 insights, thanks for tuning in and thanks for DELIVERING. i will see you when the bonus drops, bye goodnight love you <3

TRUST if i ever get a chance to foreshadow ,,, im always taking it <333 i looooove foreshadowing its my drug tbh

and i LIVE for ur insights oh my god i giggled so hard reading everything

the main takeaway here im gonna focus on is jon n bug ,,,, because i really do want yall to know that theyre besties BUT (and i say this lightly) theyre obsessed with one another. nancy is also stronger than me, and i think season 4 will really show how lenient shes been with jon n bug. while theyve done well refraining from how they used to be (reminder they would cuddle and kiss each others cheek every day), theyre still realllllly close in a very uncomfortable way and bug will get a taste of her own medicine when nancy does it with steve lmao. yes, theyre childhood best friends, but christ they can be a lot to be near. bless nancy

AND BONUS CHAPTER !!! i have a few ideas where i want it to go, specifically a scene with bug and all the kids for their first day of high school. besides that: its fair game since we have a good few months to cover between seasons 3 and 4