#kinda weird that i only just thought about this now

[canthelpit0]

Silent

Pairing: Matt x reader

Wordcount: 1.8k +

Summary: you’ve always quietly watched the triplets, silently wishing you could be a part of a group like them. Until you and Matt talk for the first time…

Warnings: selective mutism, anxiety, crying, angst, praise, no use of y/n, no oc

(Disclaimer: I’m not mute in any way. This was a request from an anon that I accidentally deleted. Hope you like it ! Requests are open)

I developed selective mutism pretty early on. My mom says that I didn’t talk even back in kindergarten.

But it’s been years now.

I can talk, and I can’t shut the fuck up for the life of me. I talk a lot, even have full conversations with myself.

Just not at school, or around new people. God, especially not in school.

It’s not like I want to be the ‘ weird’ mute kid. I would love to talk and make friends, I just physically can’t open my mouth and talk.

It even took months for me to utter simple words to my therapist, tho by this point I’ve known her for years and I’m pretty comfortable.

There are these triplets in my grade. We’ve always gone to the same school, but I don’t think they ever noticed me.

Well the first time I noticed them was in first grade, because there were three of them. Of corse my six year old self didn’t understand the concept of multiples back then, and I really wanted to ask, and talk to them. I really thought they were cool.

The first time I interacted with any of them tho was when I was in fourth grade and Nick had asked to use my dark green pencil since he only had light green and needed both dark and light.

Back in fourth grade I wasn’t just selectively mute, but also really shy. So I’d just looked down and stared at the desk giving him a small nod.

In freshmen year I shared a class with Nick again, he asked me for a pen, wich I gave to him.

Despite not having talked to him once in my entire life, he remembered my name. Wich isn’t too shocking since we’ve always been around each other, I was just kinda in the shadows.

He actually gave me that pen back. Most other people would’ve forgotten and just taken it, but Nick didn’t and I appreciated that.

I only ever interacted with Nick those two times. despite sharing a few classes with both Chris and Matt over the years, I’ve probably never even held eye contact with either of them.

I’ve been watching everyone.

Bullying isn’t really a thing. Sure there were some hurtful comments by jocks here and there but it really wasn’t as bad as in the movies.

Besides I think most people forget i even exist so they don’t even bother bullying me.

I’ve had my eye on Matt for a while. Not in a weird way. But Matt seems to pretty obviously have anxiety too. I don’t know if he’s open about it, I’m not in his friend circle.

But every time I’m feeling overwhelmed and we’re in the same room, I unconsciously glance at him to see if he feels the same or if I’m just going crazy.

Chris seems to be the loudest and most extroverted one. And while yes, Nick seems pretty extroverted too, Chris seems more… random? Bold?

I sulk in the back of the class my lips pulled into a tight line as I try to get myself together.

There is literally no reason for me to be feeling like this. Honestly no one has tried to talk to me today, nothing happened, I just feel so overwhelmed.

I raise my hand just slightly. I make eye contact with the teacher. Mrs. Evans. I literally love her, she’s so kind.

Her son is apparently mute too.

When I was diagnosed with selective mutism they thought it’d be a great idea to make me learn sign language just in case, and that’s just what I did.

Since Mrs. Evans son is mute, her son, as well as her and her husband also learned sign language.

So whenever I needed something I could sign to her. Not that I wouldn’t be too embarrassed too.

Our eyes lock. Everyone was working on some paper I should also be doing, but I’m too busy hyperventilating.

I let my hand drop on my desk and glance at the door quietly asking if I can go to the nurses office since I was too tired and ashamed to sign it to her.

She gives me a pitying smile but nods. I hate pity, but then again that’s better than getting told im faking.

I look around the class of students. I get up, as quiet as I can. I pack up my little stuff and quietly walk to the front of the class. I nod in appreciation and walk outside.

I stare at the ground while I walk down the hallway. I sigh.

I feel my eyes start to water and I bite the inside of my cheek.

Honestly I should probably go to the nurses office to get checked out, just so I can leave. But I don’t think I can handle communicating with another human.

I feel like I’m about to break down. I continue to walk down the hallway clutching the straps of my bag harshly.

I consider if driving home even is a good idea seeing as I’m about to have a mental breakdown. Or-

Suddenly I bump into someone.

I close my eyes trying not to cry right then. I don’t know who I bumped into but I want to apologize, but I know that I can’t, and since I don’t know who I bumped into I don’t know if it’s someone who’ll be mean about it or-

I’m taken off guard by a gentle brush to my upper arm.

“You’re good, it’s okay” I hear a soft voice say. I can feel my lip quivering, I feel like if I open my eyes the tears brimming at my waterline will actually fall.

“can you open your eyes?” It sounds more like a question, and that voice sounds painfully familiar but I can’t quite place it.

I want to tell him that I can’t, that I’ll cry if I do and I’ll feel even more embarrassed. But my curiosity takes over me.

So I slightly blink open my eyes. I don’t open my eyes fully, just enough to see the person through my tears.

It’s Matt, looking down at me all concerned.

I blink my eyes open. at the sight I watch his expression relax just slightly.

He himself looks overwhelmed, and honestly I don’t know if it’s because of how I’m acting, or if he had a shitty day himself.

“You okay?” He sighs slightly. I watch as he licks his lips and swallows thickly.

I take in another deep breath trying to calm down. I nod just slightly, but while I do the tears in my eyes finally spill.

I feel my hot tears run down my face. Matt’s eyes immediately widen and his mouth opens slightly like he thinks it’s his fault.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, no please don’t cry.” He holds up his hands in front of my face as if he wanted to wipe my tears away but was holding himself back because he didn’t know my boundaries.

He looked miserable, like he was about to cry himself. And I just know that something this wouldn’t have him emotional like this on a normal day. At least I don’t think it would. But he seemed to be overwhelmed as well.

I scrunch my nose slightly sniffling in response. I glance back up at him and the sorrow in his eyes makes me want to sink into myself. I breathe out shakily.

Before I know it I’m bringing my hands up to my face and covering it. I tilt my head forward trying to stop crying, because crying in the school halls is just pathetic.

“I’m sorry. Fuck- can I touch you?” I hear his frantic voice. I appreciate that he asked first. I want a hug, but then again I don’t know Matt. But he just seems so genuine.

I overthink not responding to his question. My thoughts spiral at the sound of the sweet nothings and apologies leaving his mouth, only being back round noise.

Matt seems to notice that I’m starting to spiral. I feel his hand tenderly touch my wrist. I flinch slightly, and as soon as I do I feel him retract his hand.

Everybody deals with anxiety differently, some people like to be physically grounded others liked to be comforted some other way and I just knew that Matt was trying to figure out what to do without overstepping.

I’d tell him that it’s okay, or that he can hug me, but I literally can’t speak and I feel too embarrassed to let him see my teary face.

“I’m sorry, I’m-“ I hear Matt let out a breath. I know an anxiety breath when I hear one, he is panicking.

I decide to bite the bullet, what’s the worst that can happen. I look up slightly and peak through my fingers.

His hands are up and frozen. He looks almost frantic, Matt looks like the only way he knows how to ground me is by hugging me or something, but he seems unsure if that’s okay.

Despite myself I let out a little nod. Matt lets out another breath but this time he actually touches me, and I don’t flinch.

He holds my wrist and gently pulls my hands off of my face.

I let out a shaky sigh. I can’t help it when I let my head fall forward.

“It’s okay.” He says sweetly under his breath. He puts his hand under my chin as he picks my face up. Our eyes lock. I see the way Matt is also crying, tears running down his face too and I relax just a little.

He never seemed like the type to make fun of someone for crying, but especially not now.

“You wanna go to my car?” He says softly, not in a way where he is forcing me to do anything, but rather offering.

And honestly as upset as i am I have to weigh my options. Would I rather cry in the school hallways or in Matt’s car?

The best option would be to go to the bathroom, but Matt wouldn’t be able to come with, and honestly I would feel too bad leaving him alone at this point.

So I nod.

I feel Matt’s arm go around my shoulders as he hugs me for a moment. He turns me, and starts walking in a way where his arm is still around my shoulder keeping me close to him.

We walk out to the parking lot. I watch as Matt unlocks the car and opens the door for me to enter.

And by this point, if I go out this way so be it…

Before i can even register Matt is also getting into the backseat next to me.

We just look at each other for a moment. He breathes out another anxiety sigh.

“You want a hug?” And with that I don’t really know if he’s asking for me, or to comfort himself. But regardless I nod.

I feel his arms come around me and I sink into the feeling of his hug.

I’m uncertain if by tomorrow he’ll act like this all never happened, or if he’ll try to get to know me, because I’ve been wanting to know him for a while and I would more then gladly let him.

Masterlist

A/n: I know this is really short and I’ve been uploading a lot of angst recently. But I’ve been feeling sad, and every time I do write smut it’s for Kinktober. Soon you’ll get smut tho. Also this ended up a lot like crybaby. <3

‼️please don’t copy my work/idea‼️

Taglist: @muwapsturniolo , @sturnad , @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 , @evie-sturns , @me09love , @fratbrochrisgf , @spideylovin , @chrissgirlsstuff , @stunza , @whicked-hazlatwhore , @sturniooolos , @ecliphttlunar , @orangeypepsi , @klaus223492 , @char112244 , @sst7niolo , @slut4chriss , @mattsturniololoverr , @th3-3d3n-g4rd3n , @st7rnioioss , @t1llysblogs , @nonat-111 , @blahbel668 , @rockstarchr1s , @sturnsintrouble , @nayveetbhh , @tillies33ssss , @sturncakez , @strnilo , @somegirlfromasgard , @mattslovelygf , @sturnsmaeve , @sturnstvr , @lucianastrun , @jnkvivi , @jamiesturniolo , @chr1sgirl4life

[lover-of-mine]

Have you done a color/structure(?) analysis of Buck's coming out to Eddie scene? If you haven't, could you? I just love your other ones, and that one has been niggling at me, but I don't know if there's anything there.

Okay, this took me longer than I expected because I had a weird weekend but let's do it now oaksoaksasas

The first major thing about the scene is that it is a blue and yellow scene (I have a theory about the blue and yellow you can read here) because they are playing with the sun around Buck and Eddie a lot this season, the locker room, the basketball scene, the coming out scene, that new locker room still Tim shared, even the buckley diaz family scene in 707 so that's important no matter what they are actually trying to accomplish there, if it's a reference to the way Oliver keeps saying Buck is looking for light or if queer romance has its own color combo, it's a thing and I think that the way they keep adding blue and gold/yellow to buddie scenes this season means they are absolutely doing something with it, even more considering the will reveal is very explicitly blue and yellow and we all know that scene is a key scene for the 2 of them in terms of romance.

But like, even the labels of the beers they are drinking are blue with yellow detailing, so pretty much every aspect of the scene is in that color scheme. The beer is also interesting because of the beer they usually drink being yellow and that they focused a lot on last season, going as far as making a point of showing a scene where Eddie is turning the bottle so we can see the label in 613.

Two things that feel inconsequential but are almost definitely absolutely completely on purpose in the scene are the way the shade of blue Buck is wearing is the same shade as his eyes and the way Eddie's phone has a black phone case the phone itself is green.

So not only are we dealing with the blue and yellow they are establishing, but we also have blue and green aspects going on here, tho arguably very muted. (blue and green masterpost) but this is just a detail I wanted to point out aopskloaksa

Going back to the beers, I will be honest, I keep trying to find a pattern in the scenes where they open the bottle for each other. It seems like they don't open the bottle for each other when they are discussing a problem outside of their relationship with each other? Like, Buck opens the bottle for Eddie in the kitchen scene in 309, Eddie opens the bottle in 612, and those two scenes lead to them talking about their relationship in a sense. But they just hand the bottle closed to each other in 312 when discussing the skateboard incident, in 504 when discussing Chim leaving, and Buck does hand Eddie the bottle closed during the coming out scene which is ultimately not about their relationship, although, Buck does hand the bottle while it's open to Eddie in 613, but they don't show Buck opening said bottle so I kinda think there's something to be said about the action of opening the bottle for the other in scenes they are opening up to each other about each other.

Something major about the scene is also the framing and positioning of them in the scene. I made a framing meta with most of their major scene at some point during the hiatus, you can read it here, but something about the 2 of them is that they tend to be on the same level while talking about Eddie's problems, they are both sitting down (that's even exemplified in 705 with the gym scene) and they seem to have Buck sitting down and Eddie standing up when talking about Buck's, so Buck is physically looking up at Eddie. I have an admittedly confusing post about Buck and the looking up thing you can read here because I touch on emotional scenes for Buck that don't involve Eddie if you want more thoughts.

The whole looking up thing is interesting for many many reasons, but mainly because, one, Buck is a big guy and Oliver is the tallest person in the main cast, so he's usually the biggest person in the room, so having him sitting down is a way to make him have less power in the scene in a sense. There's also the way that Buck as a character likes being in high places, he sits at the counter, the chills on top of the firetruck, he sleeps in a loft, he likes being physically high.

But there's also the way the show tends to give Buck the high ground during emotional scenes. Both figuratively, like having him stand up before yelling at his parents in 404 or having him be the only one standing up when he tells the team about Daniel in 405, and literally, like in 316 when he's talking to Maddie about being the one who's always left behind and breaking up with Taylor in 518.

It's also interesting because Buck mostly looks up his love interests, there are exceptions to this, he has scenes looking up at Bobby even though most of their heart to hearts they tend to be on the same level, both standing up or both sitting down, but he looks up at Taylor and Abby and Ali and Eddie and I think that plays into the way Buck wants love to fix him, so he doesn't want balance, he wants answers. But this is a problem when you think about it. Because that creates an emotional imbalance between Buck and Eddie. It physically exemplifies the way Buck's admiration of Eddie clouds his judgment when it comes to Eddie. He expects Eddie to have the answers. He blindly trusts Eddie and in a romantic setting, that's bad. Buck can't really expect Eddie to be right all the time or just accept anything Eddie decides, because then their relationship is unbalanced, then Eddie is controlling it and a romantic relationship can't work in these circumstances.

But this scene actually breaks that pattern twice: Eddie is looking up at Buck while they are talking about Marisol and Buck actually sits down before telling Eddie it was a date.

This is huge. Monumental. Incredible. I have been waiting for this for SO LONG. Because Buck needs reassurance from Eddie here, but he is not looking at Eddie for guidance, he's looking at Eddie for acceptance. And that's what he's getting. Proof of Eddie's unconditional love. And Eddie needs Buck to just tell him how to fix it while being very irrational about the whole situation and Buck is being the voice of reason.

Also about the positioning in the frame, something media does to let people know the characters are not standing on the same side, to give that impression that they are in different places in the scene during a close-up is to place the characters on different sides of the frame, even in the beginning of the scene, they are on different sides. (Guide down the middle to help visualizing)

But when they are actually talking about it, they are both in the middle of the frame. Another scene they do this is the will reveal, during the will reveal they tend to both be in the middle of the frame. And that kinda gives this idea that they are seeing eye to eye, that they are on the same side. I have a whole meta explaining how they used this effect to show Eddie letting Buck in during his breakdown era, you can read that one here.

BUT, interestingly enough, Eddie actually leans away from the middle when they are talking about Buck dating Tommy besides the general concept that that means Buck is also into men, while Buck stays in the middle. That can absolutely represent a way for Eddie to distance himself from it in a sense, that while he is fine with Buck being bi, he's not all that fine with the concept of Buck actually dating Tommy even though he is encouraging Buck to go after him, but that's just a theory to back me and my Eddie fell first and has accepted he can't have Buck tendencies. I think that's also backed by the way Eddie is maintaining eye contact from the moment he realizes this is something important for Buck, but he does break that eye contact when Buck tells him he can't stop thinking about Tommy, almost like he needs a second to believe what he's about to say.

Another interesting thing is the way they had Eddie ready to leave and Buck doing his little ducked head Eddie smile while Eddie leaves, so Buck seems fine with the way the conversation went, before having Eddie turn back around to hug Buck.

He reaches the door, realizes he's forgetting something, and strides right back to demand a hug, which considering 703 when we have Buck stopping to thank Tommy then running after Eddie, and Eddie being about to run back to Marisol and a relationship he doesn't really want to be in, the way he stops in his tracks to go back to Buck, kinda poetic when you think about this way, I think.

I think there's a lot to dissect when it comes to the actual wording of the scene too. Eddie saying "this doesn't change a thing between us" is very on purpose, if Eddie had said anything instead of a thing, it would have had a different effect. Not changing a thing when, one, we all know it will change it because buddie is coming, and two, even if we didn't know buddie is coming, this has the potential to fundamentally change the nature of their relationship eventually and the show loves to prove Eddie specifically wrong, but even then, would adding romance actually be changing anything between them when they are already life partners? This fundamentally changes them but also doesn't change them at all. Also the way Buck says "that's a relief" sounds almost as if he was expecting Eddie to say something else.

Also, love the way we got another roundabout way for Eddie to say he loves Buck but this time he actually said the word love "he'll love you like we all do" thank you, Eddie, for finally using the word.

Also love the way Buck is just taking deep breaths through the conversation because this was something that was stressing him out and it going well makes him breathe easier because he needs Eddie's acceptance in this.

I think these are all my thoughts on this scene, at least is all I can think about right now, so, as always, if you read this I love you 💜

[that-one-xachster]

Megumi x Childhood Bestie!Reader Hcs

I've seen too many of these and needed to write a few heh ive actually never written hcs before so this is my first time 😅 kinda a slow burn?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

so first of all you were tsumiki's bestie because I haven't seen a hc like that yet (PLEASE I NEEDA SEE ONE OF THESE-)

and we'll also make fushi's mom besties with your mom

so now you two are besties since you were in diapers

and you were a very grabby baby and Fushiguro's hair is as wild as carpaccios from mashle-

(sorry not sorry)

so you'd just grab at his hair and pull it all the time which would annoy the hell out of him

which would then somehow end up in you two fighting

AS BABIES

and then your mother's would have to calm you down

and after the whole toji and mother fushiguro went bye bye your mom took in megumi and tsumiki

so now timeskip you're both 6 years old and just walking together from who knows where

and if you thought you grew out of these grabby tendencies no you're either grabbing his hair or his sleeve

yes it still annoys the hell out of him but you do it for shits and giggles

and then on this fine day you just happen to run into the gojo satoru

LMAO MY AUTOCORRECT ALMOST CAPITALIZED HIS NAME

anyway this guy is making his ever so iconic face like 'bro reminds me of his dad-'

anyway gojo doesn't know who you are so you're just standing there awkwardly behind megumi while you're now gripping his backpack

and you're just glaring at gojo for no reason at all for sure just thinking 'who the hell is this weird ahh man with hair like he's in his 70s tryna kidnap megumi 🤨🤨'

and ofc megumi pulls the 'what about my sister' card

and after the whole negotiation with megumi he turns to you and is like 'you can come along too ig'

and ofc you watch megumi so you pull the 'what about my parents' card

gojo's like 😀

anyway you somehow end up going to school with megumi and tsumiki and first day kindergarten no surprise you guys are the new kids

everyone I mean EVERYONE loves tsumiki ofc

a partial reason is because of you and megumi glaring at the people who you think are looking at her a lil funny

like sir ma'am CHILD how dare you

anyway you have a pretty peaceful elementary school

you do pick fights with megumi though

...and a whole lotta other people

you stopped in middle school but looks like megumi picked it up instead because yk he beat up a hefty amount of people

you stanned him for that

also hyping him up from the back

"YEAHH MEGUMI BEAT THEIR ASS"

"shut up."

"no."

".."

"anyway YOU GO MEGUMI BEAT EM UP-"

"sHUT-"

so that was pretty eventful but tsumiki did not approve which caused you to sulk next to megumi

but then yk she went to the cliff and shit went down real fast

tsumiki got cursed, you entered your depressed angsty teenager era, and megumi became emo. more so than he was before

"oh my god its worse than they thought- they made him EMO-"

^ thats megumi now but we all like pretty emo bois so

wItH tHeIr bLaCk hAiR aNd gReEn oRbS-

too bad megumi has blue eyes

>>>>>>

see this is why asians don't have blue eyes we'd be too powerful

anyway back to this you two finish middle school all swandy dandy but a lil depressed

oh and I don't think I mentioned you two got into a fight bc of tsumiki's sickness

like-

megumi: you're closer to tsumiki bc you two are girls why didn't you stop her from pulling random crap whatever she did to make her sick

you: BITCH you blaming ME? you wanna go?

yeah basically you two got into a stupid argument but oh well its fine bc gojo forced you two to talk again and yay you're talking again

and now first year into jujutsu tech you and megumi are the only students so you're still poking and grabbing him all the time

you did it less in middle school

I think we know why

like you're in the car going to a mission- his hairs being tugged

got off the car and walking his sleeve being tugged

everthing

literally everthing

my bros grown immune to it though so he doesn't really mind

he kinda likes it now but will never admit it

so let's say before you got ranked up and all your arm almost got blown off by a curse

needless to say tsumiki's accident really hit him hard so this hit him harder and when I say he got angry he got ANGRY ASF DUDE

like he freakin obliterated the damn curse

he also made it pretty painful

if you even can

and let his demon dogs casually eat it up

and you're just there like 👏👁️👄👁️

"it's not that deep bro-"

"yes it is"

gojo was very proud though

and now you're with him stalking itadori and you're like

woah

*1 braincell working*

itadori = fast

fast = speed

I am speed

ITADORI = LIGHTNING MCQUEEN

kachow

and when you finally confront your stalkee with megumi and itadori's like

"uh I'm mourning rn"

you're just

"thats great and all dude I totally feel you but you're gonna be mourning even more if we don't get our asses to your school"

you did not want to host multiple funerals

so you all speed ran to his school

and whoopsie doosies you're with megumi and itadori makes an entrance like the main character he is

and when my bro eats that finger

and gojo pops up

he throws the kikufuku at megumi

but its okay hope you have a good day imma send you bout 850-

LMAO SORRY

you steal the kikufuku from megumi and eat one as if its popcorn

well you're watching gojo and sukuna fight rn

and you accidentally admit out loud that sukuna's hot

and then megumi low-key side eyes you

BUT THEN HE STARTS FULL ON GLARING AT SUKUNA

bc how dare he some random goofy ahh old mf misongnyistic tatooed dude just steal your attention so casually

he's full on disgusted when he's face to face with sukuna

yes you notice this

you're like

"ooh did somebody get a crush on a thousand year old curse-"

"wtf no get some help"

its the opposite lmao but you don't know that

so then itadori turns back to normal gojo goes boop and he goes to sleep

and now you're here sitting next to megumi, eating Gojo's kikufuku and having the time of your life

holy this is so long imma do a part 2

fun fact my autocorrect always changes sukuna into skunk 🦨

smelly sukuna

[still-fatemeh]

...Passion Is the Gale.

16! Stormbringer chuuya x reader

(I gave the reader a name because I hate writing y/n but ya'll can read it as your own name. Note for the uncultured people, Takako was the poet's wife. I thought since Nobuko Sasaki was the name of kunikida's lover both in real life and in the Osamu dazai's entrance exam (kinda), I could do the same thing with chuuya.)

"You're sooo tiny, chuuya..."

"huh?"

If she wasn't shit-faced at the moment, he would've thrown her out the window like yeeting a fucking piece of trash outside.

Takako came closer, wrapping her arms around his neck. His nervous system went haywire, blood rushing to his face as she looked up at him through her lashes. How could he forgive her so in the blink of an eye when not even a minute ago he was planning to toss her out the window? Heh, weird...

God, it hurt. His head felt dizzy, eyes unable to focus. Maybe he'd gulped down more champagne than he could possibly handle. His surroundings were blurring, his grip on reality was starting to crumble. He was about to faint. Interesting... But he couldn't feel the buzz of alcohol quite yet, the sweet feeling of release, the same one that filled his head with momentary peacefulness and a feeling of happiness. He was at ease.

But now, at the moment, he wasn't. His mouth was dry, it tasted like blood... He felt like times when dazai was wasted, when that guy drank, he couldn't escape his thoughts, he couldn't bask in the same sense of satisfaction and ease as the rest of them. Dazai, with whiskey, further drowned in his own agony, his thoughts were leeches, sucking the will to live out of him. Like a wounded animal choking on its own blood. No, maybe that wasn't dazai...

That was him.

He felt takako's lips pressing against his skin, soft and gentle unlike every other touch he's known. He could feel her shifting on his lap, giggling. God, she was perfect like that... And he had her all to himself. Ane-san was right. Maybe... Just maybe... He *could* maybe spend the rest of his life drunk on her affection. And she was willing to give it all to him, after all she had no one else to cherish. This was the only way this girl ever got affection. So she kept him around like a precious doll she could take care of...

Her mouth reeked of alcohol, her breath felt hot against his face. Takako was right there, she was looking at him, she was kissing him, she was right there...

SHE WAS RIGHT THERE...

Chuuya was feeling more human and hooked on his flesh. It wasn't wrong, right? That felt raw, human... when he pressed her down on the couch, having her lay on her back with him on top. Her cheeks were rosy and it was as if she'd just remembered to act all shy and embarrassed. She kept glancing away from him, unable to hold his gaze but she was all he could look at. Her hair was splayed out on the couch like a masterpiece from the greatest of the great artists.

He reassured.

What he did... felt strange, but right. It wasn't wrong to act on his instincts, was it?

She laughed... takako would laugh at him for thinking like that, probably asking him "what 'bout that felt wrong?"

and he'd answer: "Me. I don't know what possessed me to do that..."

"Ha! What? that was amazing~ oof, really... Fucking amazing..."

She was right, it was amazing. *She* was amazing.

"Shhh, not another word. What's with the sudden change of heart? You wanted to have lit candles and stuff for your first time? How about roses? We can make like that next time, if you're still interested..."

He could almost see her clearly, hear her talk, tease him, ramble, curse... Oh God, his eyes were playing tricks on him.

His vision swam.

Takako was asleep... but her chest wasn't moving up and down. She was laying flat on her stomach, her arm loosely hanging over the edge of the bed, almost touching the ground. Black hair splayed out as beautifully as ever and... there was peace in her expression.

Her room didn't get as messed up as The Old World after verlaine's visit. She wasn't dismembered or brutally murdered. He wished she wasn't. He couldn't imagine the thought of...

She'd put up quite the fight, apparently. Face bruised, and when he lifted the blanket that was so carefully brought all the way up to her neck, he felt his stomach churn in disgust.

Takako's leg was missing from the knee down. The sheets were red, bloody red. He looked down at his bloodsoaked gloves for a moment, before lifting her shirt.

He took a step back.

It was no pleasant sight, but in all honesty, he'd seen worse... But this was takako, SHE was the one whose skin was peeled off like peeling an orange.

"Chuuya-sama, are you well? You don't seem to be in a very good mental state, I'll figure out a way to cheer you-"

Adam was interrupted by the sound of someone puking.

Chuuya knelt down to catch his breath.

Goddammit... Why did he feel like crying like a little kid? He'd never cried before, not even when the flags died, not even his so called 'family', The Sheep, betrayed him. Not when he betrayed them.

He'd failed to protect her, he'd failed to protect them all. Adam rushed to his side but he pushed the european detective aside.

He got the massage and didn't step forward.

Chuuya wiped the corner of his mouth, looking at the vomit on the ground that was mixed with blood. What a nasty combination...

One last look at her face, and he was done.

Takako was dead.

[blueisquitetired]

Astral Shards AU

TLDR: The Boys are in space and they have a Bad Time. (Lady Sneasler is there too)

(This is technically a No Man's Sky AU, but you don't need to know anything about the game to follow along just fine)

Welcome to the pitch! All art for this AU will get their own posts, so everything here will be in game screenshots. There's also a lot more to this story then just what's written here (As this is, you know, the pitch) so please leave any questions, thoughts, or ideas in my inbox. This bad boy isn't getting a fic anytime soon, so it's tumblr only for now!

(In game models of the boys. I'll post a drawing of their actual designs sometime in the future)

Post proper under ReadMore!

This is honestly half fic if I'm being honest.

Length: ~3,000 words or so. Sorry not sorry.

Disclaimer: I don’t know every single No Man’s Sky lore detail, and I’m not going to scour the wiki for every piece of information and spoil the whole game for myself, so not everything will be 100% lore accurate. And I’ll be ignoring the giant late game twist (if you know you know) because, as cool as it is, it’s very much a twist that consumes all narratives set in this universe, and I’d rather not make my story *also* about that. (Also, as with all AUs not currently written down in fic form, details are subject to change)

Anyway did you know the No Man’s Sky protagonist suffers from amnesia?

Picture this- Ingo wakes up on a frozen planet next to a crashed starship. He's a bit confused and lost- but his space suit is damaged and that kinda takes priority. Because of that, it takes him a hot minute to figure out he has no memories- but as he’s gathering the materials needed to not die he figures it out

The starship recognizes him as its owner and he feels relatively confident in his ability to fix all of this jazz, so he did exist before... but besides that he’s kinda stumped

But this place sucks- he’s constantly freezing to death, stuck either recharging his hazard protection with sodium or siting in his (still wrecked) starship until he warms up enough to go mine stuff with his handy dandy laser again.

And he’s alone

It’s very lonely

(He’s not supposed to be alone)

So the tentative plan is this: fix the starship enough for space flight, launch into space, and then fly to this solar system's space station. (which he has a gut feeling exists. “Every solar system has one” he mutters to himself. He’s not sure how he knows that)

It’s….. slow going. But it’s going

There’s a lot of mining involved, a lot of looting crashed space junk, a lot of mind numbing boredom as he goes to the same spaces over and over and-

And then he sees something weird in the distance.

(This is a monolith. In game it’s used to learn space language words and history and to get  l o r e. I’m taking advantage of it)

It’s kinda a hike over there, and it uses up a lot of his sodium reserves, but eventually he comes face to face with….. whatever this is

So he walks around it, trying to figure out what it is, before eventually finding a platform he can interact with.

Stepping up to it, he’s filled with strange sensations and knowledge, a story of an alien race that is familiar yet he hasn’t actually seen yet-

And then the world shatters in front of him

He steps back in shock as a tear in reality forms, a crack in the cosmos widening and fracturing, the sound of breaking glass as everything s h a t t e r s-

And then everything is fine

He stands there, dumbly for a moment, mind reeling….

Until he notices something that wasn’t there before

A shard of purple glass

Carefully, he picks it up, holding it up to his visor-

It whispers

It’s faint, too faint. He can’t hear it well- but it’s important. The whispers are familiar and he needs to know what they’re saying.

So he treks back to his ship, filled with a purpose he hasn’t had in his entire remembered life.

It takes a bit to wire his radio receiver to accept strange reality shards as a valid form of input, but eventually he figures it out. Connecting the last few wires and attaching the shard to it-

“Ingo, where are you? Please respond.”

That’s- that’s- that’s his brother!!!! His TWIN!!! Ingo doesn’t know much but he knows that’s his brother and he’s not supposed to be alone and what happened, why did he crash and why is his twin not here, where did he go? What happened?? He needs to find him!! He needs to find him NOW!

This lights a fire under him

Suddenly it isn’t “hey let’s fix my ship because I have nothing better to do” it’s “I have to fix my ship so I can find my brother” he’s working in overtime

He visits the monolith once or twice too, hoping to get another hint, another clue, maybe even respond- but it has no more answers. Reality is stable, and there are no more shards of glass

It takes forever and the fixed spaceship is…… not great- but at least it flies.

It works well enough, and Ingo has enough oxygen for his life support and enough fuel for his ship to get to the space station- even if it’s on the other end of the solar system.

Ingo…. reeeeaally wishes it was better put together, but this is the best he can do for a previously totaled starship.

So, he lifts off.

And things go great at first!

His radar manages to locate the space station without much trouble, and his pulse engine should get him there fairly quickly.

He charts a course and gets going, little purple shard tucked into his suit. (He’d listened to the message on repeat hundreds of times. Over and over “Ingo, where are you? Please respond.” He’d combed through his ships logs as well, but they were almost all corrupted, left with nothing but fragments of his brother’s voice. This was his only true connection)

And then the engine dies

The engine dies and Ingo is in the middle of nowhere, ages away from any planet, stuck in the middle of empty space with no hope of getting anywhere.

No debris, no friendly ships, no nothing.

He’s going to die out here.

He's going to die out here and his brother will never know, will never see him again, will think he just forgot him-

He has a nice panic, looking at his limited supply of oxygen and mildly freaking out

(Majorly freaking out)

But at least he has his radio.

He doesn’t…. know any frequencies or anything, doesn’t know what to tune it too, but he has to try something.

So he just, turns it on and hopes for the best.

“Hello this is Ingo. I am stranded in deep space and require assistance.” No response. Tune the frequency one more decimal point “Hello this is Ingo. I am stranded in deep space and require assistance.” No response. Turn the dial-

And so on and so forth.

Eventually, his wordy message turns to just a hoarse plea of “help”, and he’s started switching the stations willy nilly, no longer one decimal at a time.

He’s going to die out here.

Hours of this, hours of desperately pleading into the vast depths of space-

The frequency changes without his input.

“….help?” He asks hesitantly, staring blankly at the radio transceiver. How did it do that? Why did it do that? Why was the display filled with random symbols instead of numbers-

“With what?”

Ingo jolts upright in his seat, adrenaline rushing through his veins and his heartbeat in his throat “I am stranded in deep space and require rescue.” He wheezes out, his throat sore and dry

“Oh yeah that’s no good. You sound awful- you must have been stuck there a while.” There’s the sounds of buttons beeping and fingers tapping before- “Ah found you. We’ll open a pocket near your location. Sit tight.”

And then reality warps and-

That’s new

It’s uh…. A bit too far from his ship though. It’s a nice, rational distance away, but his ship can’t move.

But it’s close enough he could probably jet pack over there.

Making sure his shard is close to his chest and firmly secured, he opens up his cockpit and leaps, propelling himself into the docking bay-

And oh

Artificial gravity kicks in, and he falls to the floor in a crumpled heap right by the entrance.

Impossibly, a ship flies in a mere moment later, even though there had been no ships anywhere nearby Ingo before. Several more soar in and out as he ungracefully shuffles to the station proper. Somehow.

And by the stars, is it loud.

(Please imagine this area being far more busy than it is. I took this photo on a weekday, but even on its busiest days it’s still a game that probably maxes out at lobbies of thirty or something. Since, you know, it’s an indie game)

After weeks of total isolation, the sheer hustle and bustle of hundreds of people is far too much to handle, the echoing reverb of ships landing and taking off sending spikes through his skull.

But, as uncomfortable as it is, it’s still people- and Ingo is so so glad to have company

“You okay?” A young voice asks as he clambers up to the parking space nearest to the entrance. “You took quite a tumble there.”

There's a short being on the platform, one that helps Ingo up. It's a youth, maybe female- and she almost seems to be the same species as Ingo. (Ingo has the feeling that he doesn't meet members of his own species much... or ever)

“Everything is operational.” he reassures, standing at full height and towering over the girl. He hunches down slightly, as to not seem intimidating. “I am just relieved that I am no longer trapped out there.”

The girl nods and gestures him forward, walking towards the station proper and expecting him to follow. He does

“Yeah I bet! If your ship wasn’t even working well enough to fly in….” She shakes her head. “Well enough of that. I’m iteration Akari! What’s your name?”

“Ingo.” He replies, a little more directly then he prefers. His voice is still hoarse. “What is this place?”

“The anomaly!” Akari replies, as they get closer to the crowd proper. “I guess this is your first time then?”

“Yes it is.” What in the world is this place? And where are all these people coming from??

“Then you should meet with iteration Adaman and Irida!”

Akari begins leading him past the crowds and towards a curving ramp.

“Iteration?” He asks, noticing the pattern in their titles.

“Oh yeah uhhhh… I’ll let one of them explain that.”

Akari chatters to him as they walk along, pointing out different landmarks and explaining their purpose

Eventually they reach a wide room that seems to overlook the entire station, just as bright and colorful as everything else.

“Hello!” A voice calls, and an alien decked in dark blue greets him. “You took quite the fall there! Are you alright?”

He is iteration Adaman apparently, and iteration Irida stands nearby. She waves when Ingo and Akari approach.

They are the leaders of this place- the founders of the anomaly. A place between dimensions, a safe haven for people like them- one's who are alone in the worlds they inhabit.

They ask about his lack of spaceship and Ingo tells them of his plight, eventually explaining his goal.

“I need to find my twin.” He explains, pulling out his shard of glass. “I remember little, but I know we are not meant to be separated. I fear for his safety.”

“A twin???” Irida sounds completely shocked, the plants she was monitoring forgotten as she turns to the group. “That’s not possible.”

“It could be.” Adaman counters. “In the infinite reaches of spacetime anything is possible.”

“The odds of such a thing are so astronomically low. Do you mean a brother in arms? A family chosen by bond alone?”

“No?” Ingo responds. “He looks like me.” He saw his reflection in the ice, his brother whispering in his ears. They shared a face.

“Impossible. Mathematically impossible”

“Improbable Irida. Not impossible.”

“The odds are far too low-"

“Plenty of people have siblings. And plenty of twins exist.” Ingo interrupts, irritation coloring his voice. “It is not that rare.”

“But not travelers.” Akari pipes up, finally joining the conversation. “Travelers are always alone.”

“Traveler?”

“That’s what you are.” Irida explains. “A traveler. We all are actually- everyone here. A being cursed to wander the stars, one with no home of their own. They may stop and rest, may find a place to settle down- but there is no place that is theirs, no community for them. No sky they rest under calls them its own.”

“Only one can exist at once.” Adaman adds. “Every dimension can only host a single one.”

“Hang on.” Ingo shakes his head. “That does not track. You just said that everyone here is a traveler. Which contradicts your earlier statement.”

“We are in an in-between space.” Irida explains, her tone pitying. “We founded the anomaly so travelers could find each other. So that the iterations could finally interact.”

“So we wouldn’t always be alone.”

“I…. I need to sit down.”

Adaman pulls up a chair and Ingo slumps into it, his head and helmet falling into his hands

“You can stay as long as you need.” Adaman reassures, his tone soft. “Our home is open to all, a bastion of safety.”

“I cannot.” Ingo sighs, before straightening back up. “I must find my brother.”

He holds out his shard of glass, reflections of multicolored light gleaming off it.

“This is the only clue I have”

“May I?” Adaman holds out his hand and Ingo hands it over reluctantly, watching as he holds it up to the light. His face falls as he examines it.

“Oh dear. Irida is this….?”

“Yes.” Irida's tone is grave, somber and mourning. “A shard of the glass world.”

“Your brother is almost certainly gone.”

“No!” Ingo leaps to his feet, his hands clenched in fists. “He is not! He sent me that message-“

“There are many in between spaces.” Irida interrupts. “We are in one, a stable pocket that hides us from the world, from the gaze of the Atlas.”

She frowns.

“Larger ones are far less stable. Refractions, cracks. The-"

“-world of glass.” Adaman finishes for her. “Any living being unlucky enough to fall in there will cut themselves on its fragments, their very being torn to shreds. Your brother would not survive."

“Not necessarily.” Ingo counters, his voice tight. “If I could get him out-” 

“He would be nothing like he was before, shattered beyond compare.”

“But he would be THERE!” His voice is loud and booming, his throat stinging in pain. “I refuse to let him suffer and die in there. I refuse to just…. give up on him! I will get him out!”

“It will be difficult.” Adaman hands him his glass back. “To find a way in will be tricky enough, but to find a way out….”

“How do I get in.” Ingo holds the shard to his chest. “How do I find him.”

“Well…."

Adaman frowns, drumming his fingers on his arm.

"Entering the world of glass shouldn't be much trouble. It's a vast space, and opening pockets in spacetime is our specialty."

"But finding him is the actual problem." Irida adds, her face grim.

"Yup. Which makes your encounter at the monolith even more strange." Expression contemplative, Adaman once again holds out his hand. "May I see your message again?"

Tentatively, Ingo places it back in his palm, still reluctant to part with something so precious. Adaman hardly seems to notice, casually turning it back and forth in his hands as he re-examines it- before eventually scanning it with a tool on his table. Data streams onto his screen, and he hands the shard back to Ingo before examining what he received.

The group is silent as he scrolls through the data, a tension in the air.

".... I think you could probably find more of these shards. Going off of your account of the event and the frequency of the shard itself..." He trails off, expression contemplative. "They seem to be... tuned to you somehow. Connected somehow. Maybe it's related to you two being 'twins'."

He hums.

"Maybe your predecessor was split into two. Maybe you are connected more than you know."

Ingo has... questions about that, but he keeps silent for now. Better not to interrupt him and break his train of thought.

"If you can find weak spots in your universe, places where the boundary between the world of the living and the world of glass is thin... Maybe you can find more of these."

"And then what?" Irida asks, her tone annoyed. "What good would more of those do?"

"Why, that's where you come in my dear friend!" Voice light and face playful, Adaman turns to his partner and grins. "With enough data points, I'm sure you can triangulate his location!"

"And send this man on a suicide mission?"

"I will find a way." Ingo interrupts the two before their argument to escalate, his determination swelling. "A way to travel there without losing myself. I will not go in unprepared."

"You heard the man!" Adaman claps his hands merrily and Irida groans. "He's already made up his mind! Better to help him where we can, hmm?"

Irida shakes her head.

“Fine. I’ll rig you up a scanner. A way to find unstable areas.”

"And then you can gather more of those shards!"

“But you’ll need to go all over.” Irida huffes.

“Not just yellow stars. Red, green, blue. You’d need to build an intensive warp drive, which is expensive and requires so much materials and nanites and you don’t even have a ship-”

“We surely have an extra we can spare.” Adaman interruptes, flashing Ingo an apologetic look. “And while the trials will be difficult, I’m sure your determination will see you through. Akari?”

“Yes?” Ingo startles as the girl speaks. He had forgotten she was there.

“Can you check the hangers for a ship we could gift our friend? I’m positive we have a few that have been abandoned.”

“Of course!” Grabbing Ingo’s hand, the girl leads him onward. “Let’s find you something good!”

Unfortunately, ‘something good’ was a tall ask when looking through old abandoned spaceships. Most had been left behind for good reason, old piles of junk that barely flew and would require extensive repairs. Certainly not anything close to the state of the art traveling ship Ingo would require.

“Okay this isn’t looking great,” Akari started, no doubt noticing Ingo’s discouragement. “But you could probably break one of these bad boys down for parts and then buy a better ship? Work your way up?”

“I suppose.” Ingo frowned as he brushed his hand over one of the ships, a part coming off under his hand.

“Or maybe….” The girl trailed off, and Ingo gave her an inquisitive look. “I mean it’s kind of a long shot- but I do know a ship that has all the required technology you’re looking for already.”

“Really?!” Hope bloomed in Ingo’s chest, his hands shaking in excitement.

“Yeah. But uh, don’t get your hopes up too high. She’s really picky.”

“…..she?”

‘She’ was a ship by the name of ‘Lady Sneasler’, a living breathing organism that happened to also be a spaceship. A marvel of biology that was like nothing Ingo had ever seen before, a pure wonder and the most beautiful thing Ingo had ever laid eyes on. And he told her as much.

(Living ships are a very canon thing in game and they are so cool! I'll post some art of Lady Sneasler later, but for right now, here's my personal in game living ship, Darling)

She was flattered, and was even more flattered when Ingo broke into an excited ramble as he examined her thoroughly, reverently running his hands up her flank when she gave him permission. She was a prideful one apparently, and had refused a pilot for centuries- but Ingo’s genuine wonder managed to easily win her over.

And so Ingo got himself a ship.

Thus, the two begin their cosmic journey together, traveling through the galaxy to gather all of Emmet’s messages and eventually save him.

It’s long and arduous, rife with danger and trials... but eventually they manage to force their way into the world of glass, and pull Emmet out.

And boy howdy is he messed up….. but that just means they get a healing arc lol.

But yeah, that’s the basics! Feel free to ask questions if you’re curious, (I have a lot more I haven’t shared yet) and I hope you enjoyed! There’s a very decent chance I might end up writing a fic about this in the future, but that’s so far off that you shouldn’t hold your breath.

Thank you for reading!

[temis-de-leon]

Day 13 - Deflected kiss

Characters: Beelzebub x gn!MC

25 kisses challenge Masterlist

Main Masterlist

CW: darker than usual with a little gore at the beggining, possessive and kinda ooc Beel, pre-established relationship

A/N: I don't like this one, I don't think it's good. Sorry :(

.

They were apex predators, stronger than everyone but the one above them and built to sustain any sort of pain. They would bleed and sweat and poke inside open wounds, horns caked in gore and fingers drenched in someone’s guts, no sense of guilt to stop them. It would smell like iron and something rotten, a combination of raw flesh and body fluids that begged for more.

As the Avatar of Gluttony, his anatomy was just a tad different from other demons. Sharper senses to find pray, stronger bite force, faster reflexes. Everything that could put him in advantage to eat first.

It used to be fun back then, morbidly exciting, but things changed over the passage of time, when the Demon King fell in deep sleep and Lord Diavolo stepped up to the plate, bringing revolutionary ideas with peace on his mind.

Long gone were the days when humans believed in their existence without questions and, even though the fear of the unknown stayed constant throughout history, hunting simply became… boring.  

So Beel, under Lucifer’s iron fist, forced himself to learn how to control certain urges. He missed the taste of human flesh as much as other demons did, but replacing it for other types of food was surprisingly easy.

Fortunately, his acute sense of smell stayed the same, as well as his vision. They didn’t help him much, given that food announced itself with gigantic neon signs, but they were still there; still in use.

Beel didn’t want MC to know how much he started to relay on his senses again since they met. In the span of a few months, he’d already learnt their exact scent and his mind had taught itself to find them even in the biggest crowd.

It wasn’t something he frequently contemplated, anyways, but when he commented it to Asmo as a passing thought and his brother joked about him returning to his roots, he was forced to reconsider at least a little. While going back to his acquired dark nature was tempting, Beel found himself happy to be just the way he was. Keeping MC so close to him in one way or the other was only how he took care of them as part of the family.

Being able to distinguish their soul’s aroma out of everyone else’s wasn’t weird and neither was immediately seeing them sitting with his brothers on the bleachers during one of his games. He loved the feeling of love and knowing his entire family was there to cheer him on fuelled his heart with extraordinary force. MC’s scent was just the most peculiar out of all of them and the easier to pinpoint.

There was nothing more than that. Even when his first thought after making his team win was to retrieve them and take them to a private place so he could make his own scent a part of theirs, there was nothing to it.

Not when MC intercepted him at the locker room entry to personally congratulate him and not when he pulled them closer by their waist, making them smile with slight embarrassment.

However, when he bent down, they turned their face.

“I want to kiss you too, Beel, I swear!” they’d promised with reassurance “But you’re stinking of sweat right now and I had a shower just before coming here!”

Beel quickly ignored his disappointment, but he couldn’t avoid showing it for the first couple of seconds. Still, he left to clean himself, because he’d be damned if the thing keeping him apart from his crush was sweat.

On his way to the showers he successfully ignored the desire of turning back and consume them whole.

Not with his teeth, but with something else.

Asmo’s words resonated on his head while he scrubbed the dirt and the results of his efforts away from his skin.

He didn’t know when he stopped his actions or when he started to sniff the room, searching for something.

Someone.

MC.

They were still waiting for him.

.

.

Taglist: @ourfinalisation  @owlisbuffering  @chizukimp4  @ravenredwine @darkflowerav  @beatlebeesstuff   @mehkers

[mettywiththenotes]

To me, the darkest thing the anime expanded on a little in this episode is the reveal that Midnight was dead

Because, from the manga, we already knew the kids went searching and found Midnight as she was

But Setsuna coming up to Momo, to that group, and telling them that Majestic is dead too, adds more to it I think

It’s just. so heartbreaking. The monster has already rampaged down the hill. They can’t hear any fighting close by anymore. No imminent threats on their part. With the sudden almost-stillness, they decide to fan out, to search for the adults and those who got thrown aside

Only to find some of them, maybe most of them, are dead

Their teacher, who had just finished talking to them on the radio, is gone. Their mentors and Heroes, the ones who they admired, who they just saw minutes ago helping them out, perished with the destruction too. The entire area is a wreck, and most of everyone around them who was fighting in the forest are probably either unconscious or dead (or may have joined the fight at the Raid instead of finding the kids, meaning - again - that the kids could have been alone in their search)

And the only reason these kids weren’t dead was because of the adults efforts to prevent even more destruction and because the monster that caused all of this saw them as nothing more than flies. Less than. Not even a threat

Just. That small added part of Setsuna also mentioning Majestic makes me think about how, with nothing else to do but to look for any casualties, these kids probably just came upon the corpses of those they saw moments ago

[spoonyruncible]

I’ve had a lot of infuriating shit happen to me over the course of my silly little life, but I do think I’ve pinned down the single most impossibly frustrating thing in the whole world.

“Wow, you have amazing coping mechanisms. This is remarkable, you've compensated for your disability so well that you're not even disabled really. I don't think you need medicine or help for it at all since you do so well!”

I’m not saying that abusing neurodivergent children works, but it does insomuch as the ones that survive the process turn out capable of functioning at levels no one should ever expect of anything ever. I can absolutely operate at 200% efficiency, sometimes for weeks, but it is illogical and cruel to expect that from me as the baseline. 

[synthshenanigans]

Man its hard to have a second favorite when they're all insanely good augh

[writhe]

just had the most terrifying experience of being followed

[dustteller]

I think modern au Zhu SHOULD be the lesbian best friend trope to Ouyang except that its because this man is her pet project and gODDDAMIT she's gonna FIX him she's gonna MAKE him be BETTER she's going to SOLVE EVERYTHING and he will RESPECT HER (she is actively making him worse). She has a whole complex about it and everything. She has based a part of her identity on dragging this man up from his toxic funk and is fully convinced that if she tries hard enough he will eventually come to his senses and be an equal participant in this relationship. They have a terrible wonderful toxic loving codependent relationship that's neither a romance nor a friendship nor a rivalry but a secret fourth thing.

Predictably, this does not go well. The character arcs would be Zhu learning she can't fix a sinking ship and letting Ouyang fail by himself, and Ouyang learning to not be a shit person, actually, and coming out of his bubble of self-centeredness and working on himself instead of unloading his emotional labor onto the people around him. And they should both get to develop a healthier relationship with each other than what they had in canon bc queer solidarity is great and its even better when it's in the shape of some weird bullshit some gay people built out of the corpse parts of heteronormative romance (affectionate and completely unironic)

[eggs-can-draw]

Wanted to draw a bit of isolation, I need to do slice of life more often

[wolves-in-the-world]

At least for the aspec part of the leverage fandom, I’m guessing it’s the heavy themes of found family between the entire crew and the queer platonic vibes of the OT3

yeah. yeah. oh man. like we have a story that prioritises relationships that aren't shown to us as romantic just as highly as the relationships that are, and we have parker who regardless of how you interpret her can be read as a-spec and loved and supported by the people around her and that's great, and we have a happy ending that says "actually, our tough guy (who doesn't seem to settle down with anyone romantically, though we see him date) would be most fulfilled with hardison and with parker, with no explicit romance, but with a lifelong promise of mutual devotion."

(it's a very important thing to me that the story works like that, with parker+eliot+hardison being totally platonic. I love other readings. I do. but what we were given, viewed through the least shippy goggles available, works. and it packs a hell of a punch.)

and listen, I've said it before but "my nana used to say that what's normal is whatever works for you" is such a beautiful sentiment to be applied to SO many things (gender, neurodiversity, queerness, polyamory, queerplatonic relationships, choosing a life of crime instead of a 'proper' career, etc), and it is lovely.

which is to say… yeah. agreed. it's great. and it does make sense. :D

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[catastrxblues]

hi so i just finished bridge to terabithia and now i’m unwell and my eyes are red because i’ve been crying before i’d even reached 20 minutes of it for i actually knew what was going to happen and by the time i reached an hour something something i just straight up sobbing screaming into my pillow. and now it’s 12 am and i’m still thinking about them. because god, look at them, how they were, the little world they lived in, wouldn’t you just love that, to run away, to escape, to grasp that childhood naivety and innocence that you lost a long time ago, to feel the sun in your skin and the air in your lungs and to paint fantasies and laugh and play and run hidden away from the world and find an old run down tree house and decided to make it your own little shelter and pin up canvases on the worn wood and paint and let your creativity goes wild and have someone understand you and gets you and do it with you, and wouldn’t you just love to have something so constant, so sincere, so genuine, so pure, so real, that there wasn’t anything else. if i knew i was going to cry this much, if i knew how much space this movie would make in my life, i wouldn’t have started this movie tonight. i would have been in peace on the floor of my room, not realizing how badly i actually want something like this even though i would never unironically admit this to anyone in my life or even myself when i’m outside of the familiar place of my mind, for that matters

[deeisace]

..