#kokoro writing

[byrdtrollsunoreversearchive]

In Loving Memory of Kokoro Kimura

Fleet Correspondence, 4/4/753, Archen (Cleanser) Aurela to Artemi (Midas) Anatol, reads the plain black archives folder.

The simple fact of the matter is, we have reached the point where the population and renown of your ‘small port side town’ has long since exceeded the levels with which the fleet is comfortable no longer being involved in it, which is putting it nicely. 

The letter begins. 

You cannot lie, cheat and steal your way into creating what is basically a sovereign city state on this planet. You are lucky you have run unchecked for so long. Such an offense could be forgiven, if Midas were to make an honest case for being a GHB over Tes Roven. I am once again frustrated that you have derailed our correspondence from him. We are making a generous compromise with you and you will not even allow us to speak with who is in charge. The fleet will not ask again. Midas must come forward and swear loyalty to the empire to lay any sort of claim to this territory. 

Hi, 

This is Kokoro Kimura, again. Your ludicrous compromise is not the middle ground you imagine it to be. 

You will not be corresponding with Midas, nor will he be making any kind of claim to this territory. Tes Roven belongs to me. 

I have long since been in charge of its entire economy, its governance, its workforce, and all its public affairs. I have the documentation going back 200 sweeps to prove it, and I have copies attached.

I can see your confusion around Midas as a figurehead. I know he is exactly the kind of troll you want to have raised a city state from nothing, and I allowed you to indulge in this fantasy in the hopes of avoiding conflict. For sweeps I have given him the credit for the work I did to install him and create this place. But I must disappoint you- him and Gihyun both work for me. 

And any attempt to transfer this power to pigeonhole it into your narrow ideas of caste would result in the city falling apart at the seams. 

I accept your facade of ever having this conversation on logical terms at face value- as a facade. All logic insists that I am capable of running this city. I have been doing it, unbeknownst to you, for 200 sweeps. But the fleet’s carnevale impression of reality could never cave to such reasonable terms. You aim to refuse me on the basis of my blood color and lay siege to my home as a result. 

Let us not be polite with each other. 

Your pretend negotiation reveals your cowardice. I would not be receiving letters from you were you not scared.

I will offer you a way out fitting of a coward. Make me a backdoor. Make me a loophole. 

Make me a shiny little medal that says once in five million sweeps an oliveblood could serve in your system of governance but only if he’s the specialist boy.

And sure, I will swear loyalty to your military. I’ll make myself a cozy little corner of alternia and I’ll never bother you again. 

Bend your rules backwards just enough that you will not force me to break them. 

And before you attempt to lecture me on my audacity, recall that I could have kept this information from you. Remember that I could have stayed quiet- I could have told Midas to humor you and continued behind the scenes. Renowned fleet military strategy experts ask yourself. If this of all things is the first card I played. Then what else am I keeping in my hand? 

Hello again, Kimura. 

Even in whatever ridiculous fantasy world you must think we live in, I cannot imagine there is much else in your ‘hand’. Your bluff is transparent and pathetic. Centuries of paperwork do not actual power make. I would be frustrated by your foolishness if I did not find it so amusing. What kind of trolls do you surround yourself with that have allowed you to become so delusional about your place? 

You say you don’t want to be polite- fine. We will be at your doorstep next evening, to kill you. Our strategists examined your logic and found a fatal flaw- assuming you have something else in your hand requires that we first assume you are not an idiot. We find no evidence to base such an assumption. 

The exchange ends there. 

Sunset leafs through the rest of the papers for Kokoro’s next response, but only finds what must be the 200 sweeps worth of paperwork Kokoro had sent the fleet. At first glance it looks real, but he doesn’t know much about bookkeeping. The young mafia lord briefly considers running it by an expert. Not out of doubt of the oliveblood claims, but in the name of being thorough. Yet he cannot think of a troll he would trust with the information. He pauses. Sunset pulls out his camera, and begins the painstakingly slow process of photographing every single one of the pages with his phone. 

The fleet archives camera blinks its slow, red light in the corner about him. The loop they’re feeding into the security footage of a blank room will only keep running for another hour. His knowledge that he only has so much time wrestles with his want to be methodical and careful. He has wiped his presence from the minds of any of the fleet personnel he passed, but sadly, his voodoos did not work on machines. He finishes his documentation in the nick of time, leaving him 15 minutes to exit the facility. He carefully places the papers back into their classified file with his gloved hands, and speedily makes his exit. The gears of his mind doing catapults around the information he had barely had time to fully process. Kokoro’s words echoing in his mind. Tes Roven belongs to me.

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300 sweeps ago, Gihyun Yupark bursts into Kokoro’s room, slamming a pile of papers down on his desk. 

“What the fuck is this” The Jadeblood hisses. 

“A woman who can’t knock” The olive shrugs. “And a pile of papers, though I assume you refer to what's on them” Jokes the man. 

“Don’t play stupid, Koko.” She says. “Since when do I fucking work for you!” 

“Since when do you read my mail?” Kokoro says, straightening the letters. 

“Since you tried to pull a fast one on me with that art gallery job 70 sweeps ago” She accuses. “And this is not even your mail! It’s Midas’s, which YOU derailed.” 

“Oh, save it, Gi” He says, with an amount of venom in the man’s voice you are unaccustomed to hearing in his exchanges with Gihyun. “It was a double cross. But I didn’t say a word that wasn’t true.” 

“I don’t work for you” She repeats.

“I have 200 sweeps of paperwork that says different.”

“You do the books” She says. “We do the-” 

“Killing people” He autocompletes her sentence. “Do you realize, how much fucking work it is? To run a fucking city? Do you have any idea what the two of you dumped on me when you said we want the glory and you do the paperwork, Gi?”

“You could have said no,” She retorts, pointing. 

“I could not have said no,” He replies. “I knew you and Midas would be dead in days without me.” 

“You’re going to get yourself killed!” She snaps. 

“You have so little faith in me?” He grins. 

“I’m not joking around, Kokoro! This is serious! I’m mad because I CARE about you! Why in ten million sweeps would you do such a thing!” She rants. 

“Was I supposed to just. Let you two get all the credit. For the rest of time?” He says, staring at the table. 

“That’s not what I said, Koko, we arranged things like this to keep you safe.” She pleads.  

“Yeah, in a way that just coincidentally massively benefits both of you. Sure.” He says, almost sounding bored. 

It is a moment before she speaks again. 

“If you felt this way,” She says slowly. “Why didn’t you talk to me? I would have gotten it.” 

“No, you wouldn’t” He hisses. “You are a midblood, Gi!” 

There is a long, tense pause. 

“You’re going to get yourself killed.” She repeats. 

“I have a plan,” He says. 

“Of course you have a plan. This is still dumb” She says. “I’m telling him.” 

“Gi” Kokoro says, instantly switching his tone. “Come on. Snitches get-”

“This is literally!” She says, throwing up her arms, “HIS mail. Don’t you think your Kismesis gets to know you told The Cleanser to his face you wanted him to make you the first oliveblood GHB?”

“That’s not what that said” He retorts. 

“Then what does it say, Koko. What does it say?” Gihyun Yupark says, gesturing at the letter. “Enlighten me.” 

It is Kokoro’s turn to be silent. He mulls on this for a long, long moment. The jadeblood in front of him narrows her eyes, and then storms out of the room. 

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Sunset wishes he could tell you the exact moment he knew. Those waters were muddied first by Midas’s absence from public life for 300 sweeps. Secondly by Sunsets complete lack of interest in the matter. And third with denial and emotion. Maybe when he first found a black and white photograph, of young Midas with his arms over his friends in a small casino, the first one The Falling Moon’s ever opened, and noted the shape of his horns. Maybe the several times in passing, he has walked by one of those little shrines to Kokoro and a friend, Casmie or Toni or Rasley, had unprompted told him jokingly, you look just like him. Occam’s razor decrees that the most reasonable explanation is the most likely. But it could never account for the twists and turns of an unpredictable universe. 

Maybe he knew, sometime in the back of his head, as he zoned out at night staring at the door to his office, and the mirror across the way. Watching how, if he moved his head just right, the symbol on the door- the falling moon on fire, lines up with his horns oh so perfectly. So perfectly that no conclusion could be made other than it was that way by design. He had dismissed it, miles of reasonable evidence. He told himself even if it were true it wouldn’t matter to him. It wouldn’t change his mind, it wouldn’t change how he thought of either of them. 

Midas was Midas. And Kokoro had abandoned all of them. He had left the smoldering pile of ash that was their city, to burn, and burn, and burn. But eventually, he caved, reckoning, if he was right, he did not want to be caught unaware, he did not want Midas to know more than he did. They only talked through Enin, Midas’s ever patient messenger. He could not be sure if the man had guessed. If Enin had shown him pictures, if Enin had described him to him. Enin must know. But Sunset knew him well enough to know the mirror creature had been the mafia long enough to know when to hold a trump card to his chest, and wait for the time it was valuable.  

Against his will, the acceptance of this theory stirred long dead emotions in him. Sometimes, when wallowing in the tragedy of his youth, he imagined he had met Midas, when he was young, too young to remember, and the man had shook his head, glanced at his mutation, and rejected him. Sold him to that circus, or threw him out on the street. It was a strange kind of comfort to pretend such a rejection had already occurred. It rested the matter from his mind. But he had no way of knowing it was true. And he had enough reasons to hate Midas without making up imaginary ones. 

The opposite fantasy upset him more. When he was young, he often pictured some distant relative, maybe an ancestor or an ancestors friend, or just a kind hearted soul, spotting him in the circus, whisking him away to a life of luxury and safety. Telling him he never belonged in such a place, that it was over. His pan could not help but wander, to the possibility, that Midas might have been that savior. That he may not reject him. That he had no idea where or what Sunset was, and if he did, he would free him, raise him into this life of excess and luxury and cruelty. Only the best for his descendant. Maybe give him his surgery even earlier than he had had it. The thought sickened him. He didn’t want to imagine what kind of troll he may have grown up to be in that case. 

Midas, at least, he knew he hated without question. But his thoughts on Kokoro were too complex to count. An uneasy dislike. Suspicion, bitterness. Would he have preferred to be saved by the man he had quickly guessed was his ‘other’ ancestor? He could not tell you. He did not hate him as much as he hated Midas. But he had no love for him either. He was the only one in this city who knew the extent of his cowardice. Tes Roven had paid for it ten times over. The consequences of Midas’s reign. The reign he would have never had had Kokoro not ran, and ran, and ran. 

But there were things to admire about him, undoubtedly. He now had an extensive economic record of how he structured the city. That and more he had dug up for old files. Kokoro had run several money laundering fronts. He had told rich highbloods hey- let me launder your money for you so you don’t have to pay fleet taxes. He siphoned off funds from these places in secret and sent them to community centers, libraries and infrastructure repair. The way in which he structured Tes Roven’s economy back in the day had been so intelligent Sunset frequently found himself stealing his ideas. 

And he was an underdog. Hard not to root for an underdog, even if he couldn’t finish the fight he started. A scraggly mutt charging headfirst for a bigger, bigger animal. He did not know what to do with his fragile sympathy for him. It somehow made things worse. 

The whole thing felt like one last kick to a wounded soul. He wanted to destroy the engineers of his suffering. But now he was forced to reckon with his similarities to them. 

Because… he was similar to them. Prideful. Intelligent. Stubborn. Righteous. A liar and a hypocrite. A holder of grudges and a maker of great escapes. 

He was the best of both of them.

He was the worst of both of them. 

He was something else entirely. A tapestry of faults and virtues that paid their dues to both nurture and nature. He was fate itself on some fucked up kind of drug. He was the undoing of both of them. He was their rapture.

He could not tell you when he first knew. But he could not stop knowing. Could not fathom how to carry so invisible a burden. The weight of this knowledge silently flowed out of him at all times like a collapsing dam.

He had told no one.

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300 sweeps ago, the same night, another visitor comes to Kokoro’s door with a gentle and patient knock. Koko is not seated at his desk now, the man is circling the desk in his office, pacing. He pauses, abruptly stopping the long march that had occupied the better part of the last three hours, inhaling. 

“Why bother,” He says. “Gihyun’s already burst in here.”

“Koko,” Midas says softly, calling him Gihyuns nickname with such practiced affection and ease that it seems more his than hers. It is somehow both a warning and a plea. 

Kokoro exhales, like the breath he started at the beginning of his sentence has only now just found the grace to leave his body. 

“Come in” He says, with a gesture at the Door that the purpleblood likely cannot even see. “Get it over with.” 

Midas steps into the room, looking so lost and tired for a man of his stature, the paintings and items on the walls and cabinets looming over them to the point they almost dwarf the man. Perhaps he stood that way, His back bent, with that languished expression, on purpose. 

“I love you,” Are the first words that come out of his mouth, falling to the ground like a gift given and promptly dropped and shattered on the floorboards. 

“I love you,” Kokoro says softly, “but…?” He extrapolates the end of Midas’s sentence from the air. “I love you but this puts you in danger, but this is idiotic, but this destroys everything we’ve spent centuries building, but how dare you?” 

“I love you” Midas repeats, hanging up his coat on the rack. “Period.” 

Kokoro seems caught off guard by this, stumbling blindly into the amiable conversation having braced for one identical to Gihyun’s. 

“This,” The purpleblood makes a tired halfway gesture with his hands, flopping one gently in the air. “Only destroys everything we’ve spent centuries building, if you lose.” He continues. “And I know you don’t start fights you can’t win” He says. “So.” Midas lifts both hands halfway through the air in a shrug like gesture. “What do you need from me?” 

For some reason, his approval made him even more trepidatious than his anger ever could. Gihyun hates the idea, Midas loves it. Against his will, second thoughts bang on the closed door of his mind with frenzy. Somewhere in his secret heart Koko must know which of these trolls he trusted more. 

“What’d Gi say to you?” He says. 

“She threatened to walk.” Midas says. “Said she’d take her third of the mafia with her. Wanted me to join her.” 

“You said no?” Kokoro challenges. 

“I said no,” He retorts. 

“Why?” He says. 

“Hey,” he says softly. “I’m with you Dushen’ka,” He says. “I think you were right. That’s why I did it.”

“Yeah?” Kokoro questions, still bristling, but his confidence starts to falter. “How’d that serve you?” 

Midas meets his gaze, the man’s tired eyes staring so deep into Kokoro’s eyes he felt his image could step forward and climb through the little cornea. 

“Do you have any idea?” He says. “What a weight off my shoulders it would be to not have to pretend? About anything anymore?”  He takes a step forward. “To not live a life built so precariously on a foundational lie? I know you. You lead, I follow.” He takes the oliveblood by the shoulders. 

“I love you Koko, you were right.” 

Some of the tension starts to gradually, slowly fall from Koko’s shoulders. There is something off about these words, but they are comfortable, as easy to fall into as a feather bed. 

“I stole your mail” He says, the last echoes of protest bouncing off the walls with a quiet death. 

“Yeah, and you stole a Rembrandt from me 30 sweeps ago. What’s another double cross between a laundry list of them longer than Alternia’s circumference. It’s what we do. There are things more important to both of us than that.” He says, cupping the other man’s cheek. 

Kokoro sighs, falling into his touch. 

“What do you need from me?” Midas repeats. “What’s the plan?”

“The plan is fucked” Kokoro says. “If Gi walks. I need her numbers.”

“Then we’ll think of another one,” He says, wrapping his arms around the troll. “It’s so simple, Dushen’ka” He says, and Kokoro looks up at him, the oliveblood caught on every word, or maybe caught up in the warmth of his arms, the bigger trolls scratchy chin resting on his forehead. The ease of it all. It would be lovely for things to be simple, to be able to believe that, for even a moment. 

“We kill Gihyun” Midas finishes. And Kokoro blinks, stiffening like a cold wind had just overtaken him, immediately and completely.

“We blame the fleet.” He continues, as if it were a list, as if it were reasonable, inevitable, rational. “All of her favorites- will want revenge so badly. They’ll hop right on board with us. We’ll be heroes to them.” He lists, running a hand through his hair. 

The ever calculating, untrustful soul of Kokoro Kimura scrambles to whir up, to decide his next words. 

No way on heaven or earth they would do such a thing. Not for a moment. Not as a hypothetical. Not as a bluff. Not if he was offered all the riches in the world- not if the fleet handed him Tes Roven on a silver platter, not if it was the only way to save ten drowning kittens. In no universe, in no world, in no solemn hidden corner of the galaxy, in no shady closet or open hallway or darkest corner in his mind. Would Kokoro Kimura kill Gihyun Yupark. 

But he could not say that, could he?

This was moves and countermoves- it had to be. Midas must be testing his loyalty, his faith. If he failed, the purpleblood would probably go straight to the fleet. If he protested, the man might lash out. If he said no, he would have no power over Midas- he would have nothing but the tense bridge of love offered between them that could be retracted at any moment. 

He would have to agree. He would have to agree, and then insist on taking the matter into his own hands, to buy him time, to keep Midas from doing it himself. But he must do it only after just enough protest that he finds it genuine. But not so much protest he was angered. 

“There has to be another way,” He says slowly. 

“Koko, she’s as good as killed you by not siding with you on this” Midas says. “She betrayed the gang- threatened to tear it apart. Would you accept this from any subordinate? Would you ever be able to trust her again? She doesn’t believe in you like I do.” 

“Midas” He pleads. “It’s Gi.” 

“Power like the kind you want,” he says, “does not come without a price. Is not maintained without ruthlessness. You know that.” He says. “I don’t like it anymore than you do. But there is no other way. She could be going to her staff right now. We don’t have time to hesitate.” 

He is silent for an age. The weight of hours and days folded into the solemn contemplation of but a minute or two. 

“Okay” He says. “I’ll do it.” He promises. 

Midas releases his grip on him, lifting the man's hands in a picture of knighthood and loyalty. 

“Have strength,” He says, kissing his knuckle. “I’ll see you on the other side, Koko.” 

The oliveblood takes a deep breath. 

And exits the room.

This was the last time they spoke to each other. I could not tell you which man was the better liar. Facades atop facades. Masks over masks. Treachery and loyalty and love and pain. They had perfected it, they expected it from each other. Words to them were not a vessel to truth as much as they were means to an end. Did Midas believe Kokoro? Did Kokoro believe Midas? 

It doesn’t matter. 

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It is 300 sweeps ago. I would say it was the same night, but the hours have since passed barely into the next day’s morning. Kokoro bursts into Gihyuns door without knocking. 

“Gi!” He yells. 

“Here to talk me out of it?” She retorts, having cracked open the window in her office to smoke. 

“Midas wants to kill you” he says. 

“Is that a threat?” She retorts. 

“Of course not!” He snaps. 

“Gonna sound so offended?” She says. Taking a long drag. 

“You think I’d kill you!” He accuses. 

“Who’s to know, Koko?” she says. “Everybodies lost their minds. Everybody heard ‘GHB over Tes Roven’ and got dollar signs in their eyes so big they can’t process reality anymore. Who gives a fuck.” 

“Did you even read my letter?” He retorts. 

“I skimmed it,” She says. “Then I was so blinded by your stupidity I had to lay down for a second.” 

“I’m not doing this for money.” He says, quietly. “I wanted to make a difference.” 

“Then you should have kept your mouth shut,” Gihyun says. 

“Easy for you to say,” he says. 

“Soo…?” She says. 

“Sooo…?” He echoes. 

“All those bastards you pissed off are coming” She says. “What’re you waiting for?”

“I had to make sure you’re okay,” He says. 

“Koko,” she says softly. “You’re an idiot.” She says. “He played you.” 

Kokoro pauses, squinting up at her. 

Gihyun closes the window, walking back over to her desk. She picks up a sealed letter, with Midas’s moon wax seal pressed onto the envelope. 

“Your boyfriend already wrote back to the fleet.” She says. 

“You fucking. Mail gremlin” Kokoro blurts out without thinking. 

Gihyun blinks incredulously, affronted.  

“Excuse me?” she retorts, tossing him the thing. 

Kokoro opens it, parsing its contents. 

“He said yes to their offer” she summarizes. “He probably only told you all that shit about killing me to distract you. And it worked.” She says, throwing up her arms. 

“You have the letter,” He says. “It didn’t get sent.” 

“The fleet’s coming anyway.” She replies. “He can just tell them in person.” 

Kokoro begins to pace, as he had been earlier, erratically. 

“The two of us could take him,” He says. 

“The two of us?” She replies. 

He pauses. “Yes, Gi, the two of us.” He says. “Whatever you feel about me you must know we’d be better at it than him.” 

“Yeah.” She says. 

“Things were better,” Kokoro says. “When he was just a figurehead.” 

The jadeblood sighs. “He was my friend before he was yours. Yet…he’s clearly made his choice” She says, gesturing at the letter once more. “I hate to say I prefer anyone as a puppet. But yeah, we might have fucked up giving him access to unconditional power and acclaim. Went straight to his head.  Now he’s trying all the sneaky, backhanded shit he learned from you.”

“From you too.” 

“From both of us,” She says. “He put my life on the table,” Gihyun recalls. “That was too far.”

“It was a bluff.” Kokoro defends. 

“You believed him without question,” she retorts. “You did not hesitate for a second to run here. You cannot tell me you trust the man. 

“No further than I trust you” he retorts. 

Something like hurt flashes across the woman's face, but it’s gone in an instant. 

“Liar,” Gihyun says. 

“This is not…” He sighs. “This is just- part of the game. He fucked us over, fine. But is that the last line in the sand? How come he’s irredeemable and we’re not? Have we not killed? Have we not betrayed? Have we not fucked each other in desperate, personal ways.” 

“I thought you were meant to be making the case” She says. “To team up against him” 

“I am,” He says. “But not to kill him.” 

“I see,” She says.

He sighs in answer. “So you’re in?” 

She stares. “So what, then, joint leadership until the next time you decide to fuck me over?” 

“That's the business” He says. 

“I’m sick,” She says. “Of the fucking business.” She narrates, as he continues to pace. “How many centuries- two hundred sweeps- have the three of us been trading double crosses and lies and fucking each other over over and over again.” She throws up her hands.

“Then leave” He hisses. “But let me keep your crew.” 

“You really think this,” Gihyun gestures, “Is what love is supposed to look like?”

He stops, again, his back to the woman. 

“That’s besides the point.” He stutters. “You’ve fucked me over” He retorts. “Just as many times- if not more- than I’ve done to you.” 

“So what?” She stutters. “I’m not allowed to say this is awful?” 

“You started this” He retorts. 

“I what?” She replies. 

“You think I haven’t been keeping track?” He replies. 

“Of the ongoing, endless game of treachery all three of us have been engaged in since we were what, s-” 

“Seven” Kokoro retorts. “When we were seven you two fucked me over on that pocketwatch scam.” 

She stares at him for a long, long time. “SO?” She says. “That’s your- justification??? That’s your moral highground??? Decades of this bullshit because what?? Me and Midas played a mean prank on you when we were teenagers that barely would have cost you 20 caegars? Are you fucking kidding me?” She says, stepping forward, looming over the smaller troll. 

He seems not sure how to respond to this. Wrapping his arms around himself. 

“This is not about moral highground.” He says. “There is none.” 

“What is it about?” She says, sitting down, putting out her cigarette on an ashtray. “Suffering the most?”

He closes his eyes. 

“You deserve better,” She gestures. “Than a life of constantly looking over your shoulder. I deserve better. We both do.” 

Kokoro does not know what to do, unsteady and uncomfortable with this sudden and complete vulnerability. As fragile and untrustworthy to him as it had been when it came from Midas’s mouth. Gihyun stares at him, for a long moment before she begins to understand he never intends to look him in the eyes. So she stops offering that piercing gaze, her eyes turning to the window. 

“I’ve been thinking about going to college,” she says. 

“What?” He says. 

“Don’t laugh.” She warns. “I know I'm two hundred.”

“What would you- what would you study?” He says, still uneasy, but this road of conversation is easier to him than grand declarations of who deserves what. 

“I have no idea” She laughs. “I just remember. When we were kids. Mugging people on street corners. Talking about all the shit we would do once we pulled off one, huge, enormous job that would set us for life. Talking about what we wanted to do with our lives. When all this'' she gestures grandly at the walls of their casino on the top of the hill. 

“Was just fantasy and signs scribbled on old notebook paper and scraps. I remember you said you wanted to go to college. I forget what I said.” She says. “We’re rich now. But we never did all that shit.” 

“How will you- have the time, with the gang” he says. 

“Don’t you get it, Koko?” She says, not yet looking back at him. “When I said I’m done, I’m done.”

He is silent in answer. Some part of his brain was still protesting that this was a play. 

“So it’s just over?” He says. “We’re over?” 

“What were we to begin with, Koko? Me, you and Midas barely act like we even like each other.” 

“I made this place,” he says. “From the ground up. Can you just say this once” He stumbles. “That this isn’t fair?” 

She stares at him. “This isn’t fair,” she says, quietly. “Of course it should have been you. In any just, reasonable world, it should have been you, it should have been you from the start. Me and Midas all we ever had was brutality, but you, were the beating heart of all of this. And without you Tes Roven never even would have existed at all.”

“So I just have to stay here” he says, trying to keep the waver from his voice. “And sort out this mess?” 

She opens her mouth to remind him he made this mess in the first place, but stops herself. It was probably bound to happen, one way or the other, it won’t help her case.

“That’s up to you.” She says, instead. 

He finally meets her gaze. “What do you mean?” He says softly. 

She steps forward and takes his hands in hers, in a sudden and complete show of the desperation she had been scared to voice. “Come with me” she pleads. “Don’t you think being moirails could be more than just a game to us?” 

Kokoro stares, dumbfounded. Even the echoes of violent paranoia within him unable to conceive how them both leaving the mafia could be some sort of mind game. Such an open show of affection is not as easy for them as it would someday come to be. He is taken completely aback. Against his will, against every tyrannically oppressive and restrained bone in his body. Tears begin to fill his eyes. 

“Why would you wait till I’m about to die?” he chokes. “To say such a thing to me?” 

“I thought you weren’t going to die,” she replies. 

“I wasn’t.” He stutters, attempting to compose himself, glancing away. “I’m not.”

“You want me to be honest, Koko?” She says. “I believe you could do it. I believe whatever insane, mindfucky game you had in mind when you sent that letter could work. I know you wanted them to count on an assumption of your stupidity. I know somewhere in my heart that you just might have scraped by the skin of your teeth into some position of power” She says. “But this isn’t a battle you just have to win once.”

“If you help any kind of real power- attached to your real face- your real name- there would be a target on your back that could never be washed off. They’d never stop coming for you. They’d never stop assuming your weakness and hating your ambition. You wouldn’t have to win a once in a lifetime battle once. You’d have to do it a thousand times. You would have to do it every single day for the rest of your life. And I know you. And I can’t imagine you doing that without giving more of yourself than it's ever healthy to give.” 

“This isn’t about me,” he says, staring at the floor. 

“It isn’t?” 

“I have a duty,” he says, gesturing to the window. “To these people.” 

“You have a duty to yourself!” She snaps. “You have a duty to the people who care about you!”

“This is bigger than one troll,” he retorts. 

“Why do YOU SPECIFICALLY have to save Alternia, Koko!! Why is that YOUR burden?” 

“I can’t stand it,” He says. “The world being the way it is.”

“Well, that’s not your fault” She retorts. 

He closes his eyes. Gripping Gihyuns hands around his like a lifeline. He takes a deep breath, one that fills corners of his body and mind he didn’t even know we’re empty. 

“Fine,” He says. “What about Midas?” he says. “What about the fleet coming to kill me?” 

“You’re the genius, Kokoro. We still have four or so hours. Think of a way out.” She pleads.

The oliveblood stares up at the ceiling, blinking. Slowly, he begins to pace, back and forth, the gears of his mind whirring up again. He walks back and forth for a long time. The few hours they have left stretching out before him in between footsteps. Trying to put it all together. Trying to find his play. He could make it all fit together- somehow, someway. But every chess player knows most victories must come with sacrifices. Try as he might, he can no longer imagine coming away with everything he intended when he started this fight. Fleeting fantasies of convincing Midas of the same thing Gihyun had just convinced him here, enter his mind. 

Would he even listen, at this point? And what about the city? Could he truly just leave him here- without warning or explanation. To rule without knowing the weight of such a duty. But he is still embittered by that one final betrayal the purpleblood had placed on his doorstep. Flashes of anger and emotion infecting his train of thought, invisibly and dangerously. He is young. He is prideful. He can’t stand not being the last to speak in an argument, to leave it on the opponents note. He’s trying to be a better man, isn’t he? That’s his prize at the end of it all, that’s the future that carries him forward. Glimmers of it slip through his thoughts but the vision is hazy- he doesn’t yet know this theoretical man of tomorrow. He could not act on his wishes- his vices, before he even discovered him. He can only come down and stare at the gloved, reliable, slippy and treacherous hands of the troll Kokoro Kimura is-

Right now. 

So he pieces together one last double cross. The deception inherent in it folding beautifully under his mind's touch. He has it- he has a way everybody ‘wins’. His body stumbles. The shining ideal of a life without carrying a city on his back glittering to him like a mirage. He stops, abruptly and suddenly. 

“We have to let him have it,” he says slowly. “He wants Tes Roven- he has to have it” He says, gripping Gi by the shoulders. “And we run and we run and we never look back” he promises. 

.

.

.

.

.

Five months ago, Sunset watches the sunrise on Alternia through a filtered, grayed and blue tinted haze. The balconies of Rollyn’s mansion had UV roofs that could be lowered. A new architectural trend amongst rich Alternians that can afford it. They came down and clicked into the fence that surrounded the small area when the sun rose. Trace amounts of real sunlight poked through vents at the top of the thing that let in fresh air. They left soft yellow rectangular lines across the room, like sun peeking through a storm, or the leaves of a tree, dappled and gentle. It was good for plants- They had placed a variety of succulents that filled the air with the pleasant scent of greenery. 

It was peaceful. Lovely, even. But something was still missing. How could one truly see or understand the beauty of sunrise through thick layers of glass. Washed out by the UV blockers, his impression of the day is blank and soulless, the warmth and fire and richness of color in it trapped just a few feet away. Inside the room, he hears the soft sound of the rustling of stuffed animals, a small pair of slippers being slipped into by a bedside. Footsteps making their way across the floor, as soft and practiced as a dancers. 

“Go back to bed,” He says. 

“What are you doing?” Rollyn retorts, in the balcony’s doorway, resting a hand on her hip, her other holding close a giant frog plushie. The troll's hair is still held loosely in a bunch of curlers. Her eyes squinty and blinking in the light. 

“I can’t sleep,” He says. “But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t either.”

“Come back to bed.” She says. 

“There’s no point,” He replies. “I already know I won’t be able to get back to sleep now that I’ve awoken.” 

“I have a melatonin,” She offers, walking up next to him, resting a gentle hand on his shoulder. 

“They make me groggy,” He says. 

“Come take a bath with me, it’ll calm you down.” They try, one more time. 

“Rollyn.” He says, simply. 

The cerulean pauses, staring into the man's soft eyes, so often clouded over with restraint and pain, as if his face was a sieve he only let some things slip through. The rest caught and kept and looked over in dark corners of painful memories in a careful process of dissection. She pauses, taking his hand. 

“I’ll stay up with you.” She says. 

“You have work tomorrow,” He replies. 

“So do you.” She says. 

He sighs, his hand going to his face and rubbing his eyes. He squeezes his other hand in her own. 

“What’s wrong?” Rollyn says, resting their head on his shoulder, watching the sun continue to rise. 

He thinks on this, still staring forward into the light. When he speaks, he speaks as he always does, in riddles, in half truths, in vague, overarching concepts that most can find no specifics within. He would not give you a piece of his heart without a backdoor of deniability. 

“You ever feel like your life is a path that's already set out in front of you,” He says. “That there's no way to sway from. Every turn you try to take loops around and back to here. All roads lead to here. Any choice I ever could have made wouldn’t have changed the person I am now. It’s driven by some greater course that I can’t comprehend. That I am scared to even consider”

“It’s a little early for philosophy,” She says. “Are you talking about g-d?” They pause. “I think you chose to be here Sunset. I don’t think anything is set in stone.” 

“Does a bird choose to fly?” He says. “Or is born with a set of wings and the dream of the sky in its pocket.” 

“I thought you didn’t believe in fate” She says, lifting her stuffed animal from slipping out of her grip. “You’re the only Rovenian I know who doesn’t toss coins at those little Kokoro shrines.” 

“I don’t believe in that kind of fate” He says. 

She exhales, laughing. “I didn’t know there were different kinds,” She says. “Does it really matter?”

“Yes,” He says. 

“Then what kind of fate do you believe in?” They challenge. “Explain it to me.” 

He inhales, resting his head on hers. 

“The merciless kind” He says.

“Well” She sighs, watching his eyes deepen, pulled away by the distant horizon. She turns her head up towards his neck. “Kind of takes all the fun out of it, doesn’t it? That’s the saddest way to look at it.” 

“Fate was supposed to be fun?” He laughs, lifting his head, caught off guard by her dismissal. 

“Yes,” They say, leaning up to kiss his cheek. “It's a prankster. It’s a silly little animal that can’t be caged or caught, like the roadrunner in looney tunes. Dancing around gunshots and delivering karma. The prideful spend a lifetime running after it only to realize they’ve walked right off a cliff. You be careful chasing that thing," she says. 

“Or one day you’ll look down and see there's nothing beneath your feet.”

[oshiawaseni]

Between BkDk, which of them knows they're in love with the other?

A question was asked: Is it just one, is it both, or is it neither? This is my reasoning behind why I think that both of them have realised their romantic feelings for the other.

I'll start with Izuku’s side first, as he is the veteran.

Izuku's been sitting on his feelings for quite some time and repressing them as much as he can, simply just knowing these feelings… exist. Izuku has always loved Kacchan, but I'm talking specifically about the moment he realised what kind of love it was.

I think the moment that really did Izuku in was witnessing the growth in Katsuki's heroic heart for the very first time, during his team's battle in the Joint Training arc. Shiny eyes watched Kacchan's newly perfected teamwork as he fought the opposition while protecting his team and allowing them to cover for him in return.

This change in Katsuki was his heart becoming more like Izuku's, in his efforts to become the top hero that cares about saving and winning equally. He no longer looked down on the action of saving a person, so he no longer looked down on what it meant to be saved by others either. I think this really cast him in a new light for Izuku.

Kirishima: "But it's true it might be the first time we've ever seen him do something like this." (Katsuki protecting others)

As well as planting a seed foreshadowing Bakugou Katsuki Rising, Hori placed the speech bubble over a very bare panel of Izuku watching Kacchan for two reasons: Emphasis that Izuku was also seeing Kacchan's character growth for the first time, and to imply that the change in Katsuki's character that Monoma had just been yelling about was, in large part, influenced by Izuku himself.

The paneling is so genius. It seemed insignificant enough to be ignored by Bones, yet it says so much more than all other panels because it tells a story of the piece in Katsuki that had been missing their whole lives, it’s simplistic emptiness conveying the beauty Izuku saw in him finding it. If Katsuki was changing, maybe Izuku was, too... and this panel was the start of Izuku's admiration evolving into something more romantic.

Izuku watching Katsuki's heroism was an incredibly important moment for them and puts Izuku's view of love in ch.348 into some more context. Because chapter 208 was Katsuki definitely... undeniably sharing Izuku's heart. RIGHT AFTER sending his thoughts to Izuku: "Just keep your eyes on me, shitty Deku!"

".......If it responds to my feelings, at that time, I..."

And not long after JT, we get these unfinished thoughts about WHY Black Whip was triggered and Izuku has been hush about his inner thoughts on Katsuki ever since. (Other than telling Kacchan he doesn't mind being called Deku, if it's too hard to call him Izuku.)

The reason Izuku's emotions were so deeply triggered that day is because Monoma reminded him of the pain he saw in Katsuki's face when he cried to him about ending All Might in DvK2.

The recent anime ending further backs this theory during a montage of Izuku running away from the significant memories he has with his friends. This memory is a very important one to Izuku.

When Monoma triggered him, Izuku felt Katsuki's suffering on a personal level. His precious Kacchan, who had cried to him with that face, had fallen under attack, so by extension, Izuku was being attacked too. That day, Izuku discovered how very protective he is over him. (see also: "Give him back to me!")(see also: Kacchan getting hurt "because of me" to save Izuku was the Vigilante arc catalyst) (see also: Vol 37 Cover Art)

During his Bakugou Katsuki Rising chapter/episode, Kacchan too felt an immense amount of empathy with Izuku, because he refers to the moment he was about to lose Izuku as being "at death's door." Not specifying it was Izuku's death, but death in general. Izuku feels Katsuki's pain. Katsuki feels Izuku's pain. And this attunement with one another makes them both feel immensely protective over each other. Amazing.

So... Izuku has just figured out his feelings... and when asked directly by Kacchan, he runs away from giving him a concrete answer because he doesn't want to upset him with the love and overprotectiveness he feels for Kacchan inside his heart. At this point in the story, Izuku still feels somewhat disliked by him and is scared of Katsuki's potential harsh rejection. I'm sure he was thinking something like "Better to omit the truth and not cause anyone pain." No pain for Kacchan, no pain for him. Hedgehogs can't get hurt if they never lie close to each other, right?

＊* .•° ✿ °•. ❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。 ೋღ

With Katsuki, I think he awoke to a new feeling born inside him after he almost lost Izuku. The uncompromising need for Izuku to stay in his life. And his feelings from childhood that he’d hidden deep inside reemerged with the same explosive level of fervour that he’d given Izuku their whole lives, except now when he thought about Izuku, his heart was filled with something… different.

He only realised what those feelings really were at the same time he faced the looming death that was ahead of him. Katsuki was stripped completely bare by AFO and found all that remained of him, which was now staring him straight in the face, the precious piece of him AFO could never touch: Izuku’s and his intense and binding love for each other. There's no other explanation for chapter 362, other than him becoming more aware of both Izuku's and his own feelings. That's why he thought of him in the end, that's why he longed to see him so much.

That's why he wanted his feelings to reach him, to have Izuku in his grasp, at a time when he knew he had no hope to. All For One told him to face his reality. But that reality and Katsuki's wishes are two very separate entities and nothing can come between the love and belief Izuku and Katsuki have for each other. Katsuki would not be broken… and it was his hope that won out.

Edgeshot: "Don't give up, Dynamight! The guy you're waiting for will... Deku will come for sure. That's why I won't let you die!"

Hori revealed on the back of Volume 37 that Izuku is the person Katsuki had been waiting for because... (and this BREAKS ME):

Katsuki had been waiting to be saved by him.

I KNOW, I KNOW. There's a small part of me that's just like "SHUTUP HORI THESE CHAPTERS WERE ALREADY HARD ENOUGH TO TAKE YOU DIDNT HAVE TO RUB THEM IN EVEN MORE :((" because thinking about all of this hurts like hell.

But I know these lines probably weren’t written to upset those of us who live in a perpetual state of bkdk canon brainrot, and were written so that everyone else, the average "casual" fan, can start to see/accept the love that's between them a little more. I'm sure it's with this kind of intention that he reminded everyone again of who exactly it was residing in Katsuki's heart and whose name it was Edgeshot felt he needed to use to call out to Katsuki with, for the sole purpose of motivating him harder to stay alive. (ily Hori, thanks for the pain.)

As of ch.362, they are both now aware they love the other, Izuku doesn't know yet that it's very reciprocal, but I think Katsuki realised it, and he allowed Izuku's love to overflow him during his delirium, using it as his shield to protect his spirits after the awful things AFO did and said to him. It's devastating that he had to suffer so much to see the truth that had been lying dormant inside his own heart the whole time.

This uncovered truth is why he got back up and acted in the way he knew Izuku believed in most about him. Izuku wasn't coming. But at the very least... he could still become the hero Izuku admires and loves one last time, before it was all over...

"(Never giving up until I get my win is what you always believed in about me,) so I just gotta win, right.... Izuku....?"

Ch.362 felt like Katsuki's answer to Izuku's feelings, an incredibly private moment of him exposing his bare heart for all to see. His final act was an acceptance and reciprocity of the love Izuku felt for him that had been there all along. He was completely run down mentally, physically and spiritually, so he comforted himself by thinking about his special guy.

What provides more comfort than your beloved being right there with you, at your lowest? What greater desire does the heart have than to feel loved by the person it yearningly aches for the most?

Katsuki was only able to see Izuku's feelings because he could finally face and recognise his own.

[thefreelanceangel]

[lightshiningforth]

The two most important girls in Undine’s life having the same color palette makes me feral (complimentary).

[laugtherhyena]

So fun fact about me and the another series; I found out about it back in 2018 just one or two weeks before Ch3 came out and spend the next 3 or 4 years being hooked onto the game until the fixation died down and only returned to me around August or September of lasy year.

Meaning that through 2/3s of Sdra2 i was able to see the chapters as they were coming out and that's honestly something i wish more people in the current fandom could have experienced because it was so fun seeing the hype around a chapter that's soon to come out spike up with all kinds of theories, predictions and people hoping their favorites won't die (i remember i even had a dream once where chapter 5 released and Teruya murdered Iroha by tying her into a train track and waiting for it to run over her after she came to him and told him about being a void and he was like, trying to get rid of all remaining void by killing Iroha himself and wining the class trial, which would in kill Mikado too. Wild shit, but it's a dream you know?). And of course, whenever a new chapter did release the entire fandom would collectively freak out for the entire day as random instagram accs posted Cgs and bits of roughly translated information through the day alongside the deaths and executions and this hype around the newest chapter would sprout all kinds of art, edits and more theories for the following month or two.

All around awesome experience? Not exactly. Because this also means i got to see Linuj's crazy plot twist as they were being revealed and here's where we get to the actual subject of this long ramble/rant; Kokoro Mitsume and how i really wish i could have spoiled myself of what happens in Ch0 because that would have spared me of so much pain.

And let me tell you, when i say pain, i am by no means exaggerating. You people have no idea how much i cried when Ch0 came out. My little 15 year old head was going through the 5 stages of grief over that plot twist, that shit didn't even feel real to me until one or two days after its release.

One thing you gotta know about me is that before i became the Ayame person™ Kokoro was my absolute favorite character of the another series, and if you know me for even just a little while then you know how insanely attached i am to her despite being a minor character who dies 1/3 of the way through the game.

Like, y'all don't understand, i was so happy when i saw that one Cg of her and Mikado in my timeline, so genuinely ecstatic to see more of her after i thought her character done with since the events of Ch2. Can you magine how i felt after watching the character i adored so so much turn out to be a vile human being? I was genuinely so distraught man, i spent a good while being one of those people that ignored everything about the characters irl selves because that twist hurt me so damn much, but even then i was never able to look at that character the same way again, even now she just makes me feel bad.

And it's s not that i think Kokoro is the worst person to have ever existed, i like antagonist/villain characters who've done much worse than her, hell, I don't even think her character was absolutely ruined or anything. When i think about Mitsume nowadays i genuinely find her an interesting case of a good person with big plans who lacked a proper support system or even friends which led her down a path where she became cold and cruel without a semblance of care for her own family so long as she could work on her project, and seeing the difference between the Kokoro we see as a teen and her adult self just makes all of this even more heartbreaking. I still like her, is just that having my perception of this character be completely shattered when Ch0 came out permanently affected how i view her and as much as i still enjoy her character even now I can't help but simultaneously hate her for how she made me feel ❤️

[dragonspiral-tower]

touhou claire has consumed my brain so obviously i had to do style challenges with her

[anicastes]

😳

[leviadraws]

Hey Levi, Is it alright if i ask for some Terurei and Kokoyuri HCs?

oh gosh oh gosh, sure sure I'm totally normal about them /lh

This is err, really really long (like 2.8k words lol), so under the cut. Sorry in advance for rambling. Also, I’ve kinda realised that these are less head cannons and more a brief simplified plot line haha.

Terurei: This is post DRA until SDRA2.

Learning to work with others as a team has been really hard for Rei, she's had to learn to not belittle others as much and learn to bite her tongue a little when people said silly things. Initially, Teruya (and Kinjo to some extent) were the only ones who'd know that she doesn't always mean the things she says or the harshness of her tone. She really appreciated his patience while she got the hang of it.

At the start of forming the Kisaragi foundation they needed to secure investment from important people to stay afloat amid the collapse. Which means Rei had to stress the importance of what they were doing without insulting anyone, and Teruya had to silently gesture or mouth "be nice!". When he could tell she was getting to the end of her tether, he came to distract the investors with some figures to give her a break.

Just as Teruya covers Rei in social situations, Rei covers him if he makes little mistakes in the field. She'll have extra contingencies in place so he doesn't take all the flack.

Training under Kinjo was hard for the both of them, and when the foundation was still small they'd often spar together. Initially Rei was better but as he got taller beating him got harder. The first time he won he put out his hand to help her up and she just dragged him down, out of pettiness. They still spar on occasion, while he’s taller and stronger now, she’s learnt judo just so she could throw him over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes. The look of surprise of his face when she succeeded had her burst out laughing, it was the first time in ages he’d seen her laugh like that, and he couldn’t help but laugh too. They were just there, laughing in the empty gym.

The first time Teruya had shot someone was to save Rei, someone had caught them off guard and swiped the gun out of Rei's hands. Teruya scrambled for it as it hit the floor, and shot it before they could hurt anyone. One shot in the chest, just like Haru. He couldn't stop seeing his friend, he just broke down. Rei, just held him for a while in silence until he stopped shaking, they haven't mentioned it to anyone else.

One time the coffee machine broke at the office and Rei just went out of commission, face flat on the table, unmovable. Teruya managed to procure a new one and as he walks in she rushes over, grabs it, says "I love you", and immediately rushes to the counter to get it working. Teruya just stands there, red as a beet and there's a few whispers in the room from onlookers. Everyone kinda assumes she was talking to the coffee machine considering her state, but that doesn't stop him from being flustered for the rest of the day.

After the events of THH they (+Kinjo) had a visit to their old dorms at HPA. It's in the hope of triggering some memories that had been lost to them. Teruya finds a lot of photos that were taken with him, Haru, Satsuki, and Kiyoka, (and a couple that are the whole class, and also a couple of them all dressed up weird rehearsing for a play. He keeps the ones of Rei as a witch to show her later) that he keeps and frames in his office. Rei finds a giant teddy bear in hers that says "Happy birthday! From class 79b". Kinjo informs them that the whole class chipped in to get it for her birthday, he neglects to mention that Teruya had spent many sleepless nights getting that exact one at a good price after Mikako had come to him with the idea. Rei takes it back with her, it's dusty and worn but it's still cute. Afterwards, she notices that one of the bears paws has a rainbow embroidered onto it, was that custom added…?

Rei thought a nice thing to do would be to bring Teruya coffee on days he stressed towards the end of the tax year. It’s the one time of the year he stays at the office later than she does and it really wears him down. It turns out her coffee is way too strong for him and he was sent to the infirmary thinking he was having a heart attack. She brings him tea and some miso rice instead now.

Rei isn't good at handling feelings or relationships so when Minako and Midori invite her out for drinks they pester her about it. "He spends a lot of time in your office", "Why don't you bring me tea Mekaru", "I didn't know you could smile like that". It made her realise that perhaps she is treating him differently to the others she knew. That realisation was hard for her, she still has abandonment issues and doesn't want to lose what they already had. So she buries it for a while so she can properly think it over.

Teruya is more in tune with himself, and figured it out pretty early on. He's not sure when it started, but he has pretty low self-esteem since the killing game and he's not gonna act on it because to him she's so smart and beautiful and he's just.. him. She couldn't possibly see him that way.

Things get a little awkward on occasion after that, they'll work together and they'll accidentally brush hands, or hold a gaze a little longer so the pause is noticeable. Teruya always breaks it off first, he comes up with an excuse and leaves the room in a hurry. Rei is smart, but she's not very socially smart, so while she does question it she doesn't come to the right conclusion and just thinks he's has forgotten something. But then she'll ask him the next day and he has no idea what's she's talking about for a second. She starts to doubt then, perhaps he doesn't really enjoy the times they're together.

Minako is a terror, she got it out of Rei when they went out drinking and she /knows/ from how Teruya looks at her. So she plays a little prank on them, they need to go pretty far for their next scout and she has to book them somewhere to stay in the safe zones on the way. She purposely books one room with one bed and doesn't tell them. It's a …very awkward exchange that results in them alternating sleeping in the car. Rei says it should just be her, as Teruya is too tall to comfortably sleep in the car, but he insists. Rei had some stern words for their receptionist on their return.

Rei is the first to confess, it was by accident while they were on a mission and things go south. He gets hurt, there's so much blood and no not again, she can't lose someone she's close to again no nonono. She panics, and it all just comes spilling out. He's pretty delirious at this point from the pain, she doesn't even know if he can hear her, she doesn't care. She needs him to know, he's important to her, she can't lose him, she loves him.

He gets patched up at the hospital, once she's allowed to see him again she just sits and waits by the bed. She's asleep from exhaustion well before he wakes up. Once he wakes, he sees her there. She's a mess, she looks exhausted but she still looks so beautiful to him. He isn't sure if what he remembers from before was real or just a delusion so he just sits there quietly and lets her rest a little. When she wakes up he just smiles over at her "See? I'm not goin' anywhere". She pulls him into a hug out of relief and just sobs there for a bit quietly. Like how she did when he'd first shot someone, he just holds her until she stops shaking. At some point he musters up the courage to say it too, he knows now what he remembers actually happened.

Of the two of them, Teruya is the better cook. Rei has always been of the mindset of as long as it's edible, fast and nutritious who really cares, but Teruya likes to makes things look nice and got loads of local dish ideas from his trips with his dad that he likes to make. Occasionally he's a little too ambitious and it all turns to a mess, but he tries. If it goes badly, Rei just smiles and then orders something in for them.

They laugh a lot together, Rei has chilled out a lot and makes small sarcastic remarks that has him grinning, and Teruya gets really excited about the little things and can't wait to show her. He notices that she sticks up for him when she thinks he's out of earshot, and he just can't stop smiling for the rest of the day.

I could go on forever but Imma stop there haha

Kokoyuri (Every time I get someone asking about something kokoyuri I remember I ran a wheel of fate for SDRA2 with a Yuri protagonist that I /really/ wanna do some stuff on but the DRA one went so close to canon that I haven't shown them because I'm worried people will think I've rigged it lmao)

I'm gonna go with some HPA AU this time, so they're both 16 and all that.

There's kinda a mutual fascination there, it's really difficult to see what Kokoro is thinking when her expressions are so muted and her voice so flat, the only real way Yuri knows how to connect with others is through stories of the stuff he's been through, facts from his talent, or through compliments. Compliments don't seem to work at all, rather they either fly over her head completely or she just looks a little annoyed that he would derail an interesting subject with something so inane.

However, she really finds his stories fascinating. He's been through a lot of trauma for someone his age and yet he tells these stories so nonchalantly, as if it were totally normal to be kidnapped 40 odd times. She can see in his eyes that he's going through a lot when he recounts them, he's just gotten really good at masking it.

She finds him really easy to talk to, he listens to her ideas and thoughts intently, and he gives really insightful feedback. He seems against her harsher experiments when women are involved than men for some reason. He gently tries to coax her into doing having men as test subjects rather than women, and she can't help but wonder, why? Why would there be a difference?

“Idolising someone is just as dehumanising as demonising someone, in some ways, the way you treat women is the same as the way you treat men”. Yuri is shocked at first, outraged. So much so he leaves the cafeteria where they were chatting. She’s caught off guard, she’s always valued being able to speak her mind with him. Perhaps Emma was right, there are some truths better left unsaid.

Kokoro struggles to realise guilt for what she had said, but she knows that she needs to apologise. She goes to ask Yoruko and Emma for help, as she needs to understand the rage and hurt in his eyes before she attempts an apology.

Meanwhile Yuri is conflicted, hurt, confused. How could Kokoro say something like that? They’ve talked so much, how could she ever think that his adoration towards women, towards her could be dehumanising? But at the same time, he knows Kokoro can’t lie, and he knows the uncomfortable looks some girls shared when he compliments them.

And so he wonders, isn’t he just, lonely? Having never had the opportunity to connect with peers before he only knows how to act how the servants in his household do, or talk endlessly about his life and hobbies. And even if his classmates think he’s a little weird isn’t being remembered for that better than nothing at all? But it’s not like that with Kokoro, she’s interested in what he has to say, how his experiences have affected him and responds in turn with really interesting points and questions. It’s the first time he’s really been able to interact with someone as an equal.

They both come to apologise after school that day, it’s awkward and messy (mostly on Yuri’s side, as he starts to ramble), but it’s sincere and they agree to be friends again.

And things are so easy for a while, Yuri introduces Kokoro to his flight path AI that he’s been training for his final project at HPA, and Kokoro shows him some tricks to read people better, small fidgets and tells that will help him read the room. It helps him communicate with the rest of the class better, and in turn he helps explain to her why some of the class act the way they do, to know times when to be honest and times where it is better to be a little quieter.

She hasn’t told him, or the rest of the class yet that they’re kinda her test subjects for her final at HPA. That she’s studying the emotion and thought behind each persons actions day-to-day. Though she does talk to him about her research when he asks, she feels lighter being able to discuss it with someone, she’s convinced this must be happiness.

He starts to notice that she has her own tells, but so few compared some of the others in their class. She’ll sometimes hide behind her iPad when she’s trying to change the subject to something else, or if she’s unsure about something. He finds it kinda cute.

As he falls, he realises, shit, she’ll be able to see the emotion in his eyes when he’s talking to her. He can’t have that, she’s his first real friend he really doesn’t want to lose that and become all alone again.

So he starts avoiding her eyes when they talk, talking a little less and avoiding bumping into her. Their other classmates notice, and notice that Kokoro almost seems… down? She’s talking less and her sentences are shorter and more curt.

Kokoro isn’t sure if she feels hurt, or simply misses the status quo they had. But either way she wants to resolve this. She manages to catch him one day after school, it turns out he’s pretty fast when he wants to be. She wants to know what she’s done to cause this change and how it can be fixed.

She holds him by the shoulders and asks him to look at her, to which he reluctantly obliges. When she looks at his eyes this time she sees a wide variety of the emotions rattling through his head. She’s able to decipher some of them from practice, but there’s a good few that she doesn’t understand. And yet, they feel, light to her.

Meanwhile this is like ten minutes of absolutely unbearable silence for Yuri and his mind is just racing and she’s so close that he just blurts out that he thinks she’s beautiful. It’s not like his normal pickup lines at all, it’s just ungraceful word vomit and he’s cringing on this inside the moment he realises what he says.

Kokoro is just stunned for a second, she’s unsure how to process this. Some of the emotions she reads make a little more sense now. She’s not quite sure how she feels herself, these things don’t come to her naturally with her condition so she’s going to need time to work this out properly.

He’s happy with this response for now, it’s far better than all the terrible scenarios that ran through his head in those ten minutes. So they agree to take things slow, to keep it to themselves for now and see where it leads them. He may even be able to slip in more compliments and look for signs of those tells that she was telling him about.

Little do they know that the entire class was spying on the exchange, the whole school knew the next day.

Phew! Sorry that these aren’t really head cannons, but I had a lot of fun writing them so I hope you enjoyed reading them! If you’ve read this far, thanks! Please feel free to add your own or tell me where you think I’m totally off

[tvwr1tes]

ooo could u do kanade otonokoji x kokoro mitsume headcanons? if not then them x reader pls ahaha

Kokoro Mitsume x Kanade Otonokoji

°My gosh.. The amount of Vocaloid Kanade would blast is... Um... Insane, Kokoro knows all the lyrics by heart

°We all know Kokoro fixed her-

°Kokoro and Kanade are the sassiest couple in the school

°Kokoros nicknames for Kanade are, "Tolerable" that's it :>

°They barely fight, its just Kanade venting to Kokoros lap! Yep lap!

°We all are aware that Kanade drags Kokoro to metal / rock concerts? Kay-

°OMG- THE NICKNAMES- Kanade Calls Kokoro things like "Pookie" "My little bear" and "My heart string"

°Kanade once stole Kokoros glasses for a day, lets just say the entire day was Kanade laughing at Kokoro for bumping into walls-

°Kanade DOMINATES Kokoro in dance dance Revolution!

[mewmewchann]

For Old Time's Sake

A rude awakening leads to one last investigation.

HI SORRY THIS IS SO LATE AUGH My other works took priority over this but it's finally here!! I hope you guys enjoy!!

[hog-guy]

cons of being into stuff with no fans:

innumerable

pros of being into stuff with no fans:

people haters stay winning

YOU can be the first person to post in the character tag

[despair-to-future-arcs]

I'm curious to see how much Kokoro will even care that all of this has happened

Time: 6:45 AM

*is getting out of the car as she heads inside* Well, time for another day of work...

*As Kokoro walks inside, the receptionist greets her*

RECEPTIONIST: Morning Dr. Kuroka...Oh sorry, I mean Dr. Mitsume, how's your day?

Morning, just came in to do some work; is Mikado already here?

RECEPTIONIST: Hm, Mikado? Sorry but he just inform me that he won't be working here anymore and is moving.

Moving...? (This is the first I've heard of this...)

RECEPTIONIST: Yeah, he just message me this morning, he isn't going to be working here anymore.

I see... well alright then, I'll be in my lab...

*Kokoro goes up the floor and heads towards her lab...*

Still, I wonder what happen to Mikado,...

————————————————————————

Oh mother, good morning to you! How has been your morning, hm?

————————————————————————

Morning AI Mikado, I just came to the office and was just inform by the receptionist that Mikado isn't coming in today...

————————————————————————

Really? He isn't...?

————————————————————————

No, seems he say he's going to stop working here and move, that's all I got...

How odd... I wasn't inform about this, what happen?

————————————————————————

Hmm, you curious now, well... I might have an idea of what happen to him if you want to know, heheheee~.

————————————————————————

Really? Okay then, you can tell me - it's not like we were close anyway so go ahead.

————————————————————————

Very well, ask and you shall recieve...

*As then Mikado presented an image...*

————————————————————————

...Wh-What...? Is...is that Mikado...?

————————————————————————

Of course it is, mother! That is father who I order a hitman to kill him for me!

He outlive his usefulness and to make sure things go exactly as plan, I decided to get rid of the meat sack, so what do you think mother?

————————————————————————

... *Kokoro was surprise by this, it... surely shocked her to her core, she didn't expect an AI to pull this off but yet, she stepped closer and look at the image then at Mikado*

'You….you're the only artificially created emotion in existence. How far can you grow. Could your emotions surpass that of a real humans? And where would they go from there? Show me. Let yourself be carried by your emotions. Act on them. I won't stop you…….Because you're the freest being in the world.'

————————————————————————

Wait, so... your okay with doing whatever I want, I figure you would want to delete me...

————————————————————————

No... far from it, this is amazing; an AI that is able to do what he please and react base on pure emotion is exactly what I wanted in such a subject, I can't believe this - if you need any assistance then I'll offer it.

And even then, I wasn't that close with Mikado anyway, we only had a partnership so I figure he was going to leave or die anyway, so I never really care for him.

But all this? It's... impressive, you were able to pull this all off, I want to see more...

————————————————————————

I see, so you will allow me to do what I please...very well, then I'll present you with something since you are quite kind dear mother for leaving me alive...

As promise, here's that reward!

*Mikado show a video to Kokoro...*

————————————————————————

Wait, this is... this is Class 79's killing game and that girl...

————————————————————————

————————————————————————

It's... the experiment, seems it enroll into Hope's Peak Academy, didn't she?

————————————————————————

Seems so - Mikako Kurokawa, the Ultimate Exorcist of Class 79, she doesn't seem to have much of her on the forums but her abilities to commune with the dead is quite impressive, I bet your interested in learning more, aren't you? Then let's keep watching then shall we...?

[yellowmagicalgirl]

Here's What Happens After They Win

The aftermath of the final battle.

This was written for APGeeksOut on AO3 for the 2023 Battleship Exchange. This was an interesting experiment, between writing for a new fandom, writing in future tense, and using a POV that isn't my usual.

AO3

SquidgeWorld

"Are you okay?" Undine will ask as her hands ghost over the bruises covering Kokoro's arms, the cuts on Kokoro's face. Undine will no longer be able to soothe the swelling or wash out the cuts with her water powers. She will no longer have powers at all. There will be no more magical girls.

Kokoro will say she's fine, but wince anyways, because she will no longer heal as fast as she once did. Her eyes will still be inherited from her mother. One day, she will look in the mirror, then at a photograph of Mitsuki, and realize that she always had her mother's eyes, even when they were covered by the remnants of her mother's magic.

Kokoro will be concerned that her girlfriend will no longer like her, due to the loss of blue eyes. Undine will laugh, kiss her girlfriend's forehead, and tell Kokoro that it wasn't her eyes that Undine fell for, but her new eyes are pretty like brown tourmaline. Kokoro will blush, not having been fishing for compliments but appreciating it anyways.

They will be involved in rebuilding. Their society, yes, but also their relationships. Undine will be there at the first dinner with Kokoro and her father after the end of magical girls. It will be funny, in a sad way - Kokoro will have been over for dinner at the Wells house for the first time months ago, but she and her girlfriend will have dinner at the Aichi house for the first time together nearly half a year after their first meeting.

Things won't be perfect. People's relationships will change with the truth of magical girls revealed, the loss of magic, and the fall of the barrier. They met because they were magical girls. They met because of a mystery, and when that mystery is solved Undine and Kokoro's relationship will have to change. They will fight each other. They will come out stronger. I hope you and I will come out stronger as well.

I don't know what my future holds, just theirs. But I do know that finally, finally, I will be able to rest. It'll only be a little longer.

Author's Note: I'm imagining that Anemone is saying all of this to the Woman in White before the events of whatever the final battle will be.

[xamaxenta]

Marcoace modern au where Marco’s new in town and desperately needed a date for his new job’s new year gala/party or whatever and its mandatory he attends with a date/partner/spouse

So against his better judgement he follows Thatch’s advice to stand on the side of the road with a sign stating his name, his job and that he needs a date ASAP, please call x number

And it’s pretty mortifying, just standing there, with Thatch (who did show up as moral support) trying to wingman various people into going with him but to no avail

Until a young man approaches and asks if he’s serious and Marco sighs like unfortunately. Yes.

Ace shifts on his feet and thinks about how this year his holidays are going to be quieter seeing as Luffy’s staying in his uni dorms for the winter holidays instead of coming home and Sabo has to visit his family due to legal shit this year bc sorting inheritance and he’s feeling petty

So he asks what’s the dress code ? And Marco shrugs like formal? Theme is winter colours I suppose and Ace thinks it over a little long and then pulls out his phone to save Marco’s number

Thatch is beside himself lurking behind Marco like 👀, Marco kicks him in the shins surreptitiously

Glad that he’s sorted out the date issue, Marco and Ace end up texting frequently, and its super cute, Ace currently works as a freelance accountant whilst enrolling in online classes to get a teaching degree (kindergarten teacher Ace strikes again hehe), he likes cats, spicy food, documentaries and going on long hikes

Marco didn’t expect to catch feelings this fast, especially considering they’ve only met once in person and texted there after. He’s a little nervous as the gala date grows closers and asks Ace if he still wants to go and Ace sends him a voice message, the first one ever where he jokingly reprimands Marco like hey! No take backsies, you asked for this I’ promised you and besides I’m down for free fancy hors d’oeuvres lol

So they set a time to meet up so they can go together, Ace doesn’t have a car, a motorcycle yes but Marco isn’t keen on arriving cold and windswept so he offers to drive seeing as alcohol isn’t really his thing

And when he arrives to pick Ace up, he hadn’t been expecting much, considering he’s really just wearing a nice suit himself but Ace waits for him in a very daring white ensemble, perfectly tailored to fit and contrasts with his hair prettily, bc supermodel Ace is always necessary for modern aus too thanks ❤️

Speechless, Marco just looks him over and Ace smiles and tells him this is the only good suit he actually owns, (Sabos tailor is goated in this au, Sabo also forced Ace to get one good suit bc its for life bro) Ace shyly asks is it alright and Marco kinda struggles to say much bc ha pretty man

But he reassures him of course, if anything he feels underdressed now and then flusters when Ace flickers his eyes up and down his body, clearly, obviously checking him out

And the entire social event with Ace turns out to be so much better than he expected, dare he say fun, Ace being more extroverted than him talks for the both of them, happily chats and sustains conversations with Marco’s colleagues and their wives or husbands etc, they even win something together during the bingo hour and when the dance floor opens up, Marco, notoriously known within his own family for having two left feet allows Ace to drag him out, unable to resist his smile and lets him lead them around the dancefloor to dated festive music and it must be the wine Marco said he wouldnt have (but he did, its fine hes still sober) but as the night wears on, Ace becomes beautifully disheveled, in the sense that he’s slightly flushed from the champagne, his hair that was initially styled now mussed from how hes run his hands through his hair

It only feels natural to kiss him beneath faux crystal and snow

[yeahivegotanaccount]

God, I love that Ichikawa considers his sister embarassing when she's literally him but no longer 14.

[flovverworks]

person who just found out the sif & bandori rp tags r empty as hell