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#l 3-19
midnightpillsnacking · 8 months
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[Loulou*di S3V4 L 3-19] Hana-Doll 3rd Season THINK OF ME:DEJA VU Translation
Translation below the cut. Google Drive link | Listen to the album on Spotify
Rui: (sighs) My… true wish?
(Rui suddenly winces in pain.)
Ryoga: (runs over) Hey, you okay?
Rui: You’re… Kagekawa Ryoga from Anthos*.
Ryoga: Looks like we meet again, Rui. But that aside, is there something wrong with your chest?
Rui: Why do you ask?
Ryoga: What do you mean ‘why’? You’re clutching it like it hurts and you’re shaking like a leaf. Maybe you should go get checked by the medical–
Rui: That won’t be necessary.
Ryoga: Really? Well, if you insist, then I won’t force you. By yourself today?
Rui: Ageha is upstairs.
Ryoga: Ah, with President Amagiri? Speaking of which, last time Ageha went to see the president by himself too. Are you always staying behind to watch the house?
Rui: Watching the house…?
Ryoga: !! My bad, that was a joke.
Rui: It’s nothing. I was just thinking about things.
Ryoga: Thinking about things, huh?
Rui: Hm?
Ryoga: Rui, is it okay if we chat for a bit?
Rui: If it’s until Ageha returns.
Ryoga: You really do cherish Ageha-san, don’t you? I’m the same, too. I’ll do whatever it takes to protect what I cherish. That’s why, lately all I’ve been thinking of is stupid things. Thanks to a bunch of people, Anthos* is now on the fast track, and we’re getting lots of jobs here and there. We’ve managed to put ourselves out there and be seen, and things look like they’ll go swimmingly at this rate… is what I thought, anyway.
Rui: Is that not how it is?
Ryoga: The change in environment is so drastic, it’s like my blood can’t catch up with my limbs. It’s a weird, uneasy feeling, but it seems like Loulou*di  have already crossed that bridge. It made me think that you guys really are amazing seniors.
Rui: Is that so?
Ryoga: (laughs) What a typical response. I’m not saying those things because of being polite.
Rui: Then, what do you mean?
Ryoga: I mean that there are definitely more guys out there who couldn’t keep up and just threw in the towel than I thought. Anthos* has got to keep aiming forward so we don’t end up like that. That’s why… I was thinking that it’d be nice if I could get a little advice from a senior.
Rui: Advice?
Ryoga: A little while back, Setsuna said he got some advice from Ageha-san.
Rui: Yashiro Setsuna?
Ryoga: He wouldn’t tell me everything. ‘The enemy is not always lying in wait outside’--that’s what Setsuna said Ageha-san told him. Rui, do you know what that means?
Rui: The advice came from Ageha. I wouldn’t know the details.
Ryoga: Really?
Rui: Do you think I’m lying?
Ryoga: Not taking you for a liar, but you’re always close to Ageha, so I thought you might have some idea.
Rui: Did you think that simply by being by his side, I would be able to read his mind? Are you able to understand every one of Yuuki Mahiro’s thoughts?
Ryoga: … Ah, sorry. What I said was wrong.
Rui: It’s alright. I understand that what you said carelessly wasn’t something so flippant. There was a meaning to your words.
Ryoga: …Eh? H-hey, what do you mean that…?
Rui: A few words will become your will and turn into an action of impulse…
Ryoga: Rui? Sorry, did you catch what I said?
Rui: I don’t know Ageha’s true intentions of telling Yashiro Setsuna what he said. As for myself, I don’t think I can think of a piece of advice to give you.
Ryoga: O-oh…
Rui: Kagekawa Ryoga, do you have something you wish for?
Ryoga: …W-wish?
Rui: I don’t know myself. As Ageha said before, what exactly frightens you?
Ryoga: !! What are you–
Rui: This has nothing to do with me. This is about what’s on the other side of the wall that separates us, what’s beyond the boundary line between. But there are things that I am aware of. In this world, there exists things that are contradictory.
Ryoga: Contradictory?
Rui: The change you speak of is something framed by your own interpretation, but it’s not something that captures the truth.
Ryoga: What do you mean…?
Rui: Just like how the things are lost in translation, or how your interpretation of god changes depending on your belief, you can spend your whole life side by side, but you will still never become one and the same. Not as one existence.
Ryoga: Hold on, what are we talking about now?
Rui: The flower is delicate.
Ryoga: By flower, you mean… the ones inside us?
Rui: Kagekawa Ryoga. If you’re not prepared to rot together with Yuuki Mahiro, then wash your hands clean while you still can. The influence of the flower inside you is starting to show. Before that happens…
Ryoga: …Why? Why do you speak Hiro’s name? Hey, Rui. Did you do something to him?!
Rui: !!
Ryoga: S-sorry.
Rui: I’m not aware of anything. Just forget what I said.
Ryoga: Could it be that… you’re worried about me?
Rui: Sympathy…?
Ryoga: You said something?
Rui: No, it’s nothing. Let’s meet again at the music awards, in our best form. That is what Ageha hopes for. Which is why I decided to talk to you.
Ryoga: That wasn’t a warning to me?
Rui: Everything is for Ageha’s sake.
Ryoga: Rui, why do you hold onto Ageha-san that much?
Rui: Hold onto?
Ryoga: I believe that Ageha-san is someone amazing. But to you, his existence is so much more than that, isn’t it?
Rui: I…
(Both Rui and Ryoga receive notifications)
Rui: It seems we are being called.
Ryoga: Yeah. Looks like I’ve got to answer. I think we’ve got to call it here today.
Rui: So it seems.
Ryoga: I’m glad I got to talk to you. Then, until we meet again.
Rui: Likewise.
Ryoga: Rui. About our conversation… Whatever comes our way, I don’t intend to let go of Hiro’s hand. So that we’ll never lose each other ever again. That day, we made a promise to search for the truth together. Talking with you made me remember something important. Thanks for helping me make up my mind on my resolve.
(Ryoga leaves.)
Rui: I, too… if I have emotions for him, for Ageha… To let a man break and scatter while staying ignorant would be regrettable.
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dreamings-free · 11 months
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this outfit’s kinda an updated version of what he wore at his very first real solo gig in Madrid back in 2019.. just add 3 years of age and 300% of self confidence
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CCME Madrid 14/9/19 // FITFWT Munich 22/10/23
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angelstrawbabie420 · 5 days
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grief will have you saying shit like goddamn and fuck maybe the abuse was worth it
#ive made this post before i just cant find it and it’s all im feeling rn#god i miss my parents so fucking much even though they were the cause of SO MANY of my problems that idk if i’ll ever heal from#but navigating life w this grief and without their support- however little it was- feels like hell#but the abuse felt like hell too.#ive said it before but i was JUST getting to a place where i felt i could stand up for myself and knock down thwir shit a few pegs. or at#least become more resistant to it#i saw a future with them in it for the first time in my LIFE#and it was bc i’d done SO MUCH FUCKING WORK. and now i feel like it was all so fucking useless#it’d be easier if i was still in the phase of anger i was at like 19#but i’d processed that quite a bit and was trying to move on#FUCK. i had made SO much goddamn progress right before my mom got sick#then everything went down the toilet cus i cannot fucking have anything#it’s so unfair. i wish i could at least redo the last 3 years of my life#i would’ve done things so much different but i was so traumatized and still so angry and bitter and trying to preserve myself#ive come to the realization tjat the person i am today did not exist back then and therefore i shouldnt beat myself up bc it literally wasnt#available to me. i couldnt have done anythimg different bc i was in such a state of survival#and truthfully ive grown a lot since then even if im still in the trenches#the timeline of my entire life has been so fucking unfair#and i dont know how to reconcile any of it i dont know how to cope with my worst fears coming true#and i mean worst fears. even the way they passed. spot on to my worst fears#i despised what they did to me but i still didnt see life without them until i was at least 30#it was all so sudden and quick and shocking#yeah they were horrible parents but i was a horrible kid too. maybe i straight up just deserved that shit#and i’d go back to that and seeing a future with them in an instant#over this bullshit#it’s so hard. and then losing all my pets too at the SAME TIME. all my babies#everything that i loved ripped away from me in the span of MONTHS#it’s all too much. l oh fucking l. no wonder im 3 shots deep at fucking 3 pm#it just hurts so bad. so fucking bad.
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skitskatdacat63 · 2 years
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2005 French Grand Prix - Fernando Alonso (ft. Kimi Räikkönen & Michael Schumacher)(my personal post-race highlights)
+ bonus uh...whatever Michael's doing here
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MASK UP FOR GLOBAL LIBERATION
Protect your community by wearing N95s and KN95s when meeting indoors or in crowds! The more of us mask up, the less we get sick, the harder it is for police to surveil us, and the safer we make our shared spaces for our disabled and immuno-compromised comrades and loved ones.
Get started by finding local mask resources on the global COVID Action Map (you can also submit groups to be added). If you have the means, donate masks and tests to your local orgs and encourage accessibility so we can ALL join the fight (bringing in interpreters/translators and medics, ensuring accessibility for wheelchairs/mobility devices, offering child care, filtering the air indoors, setting up virtual options etc).
UPDATE: Download this 8.5"x11" poster for free on itch.io to print and distribute! Includes files suitable for color, black and white, and risograph printing. Any donations will go to printing costs, or buying masks for my local mutual aid groups.
Pandemics have no borders, and all our struggles are united!
[ID: A poster declaring “MASK UP” in red above 3 figures from the waist up, each wearing a different respirator mask. The top figure is an Arab person wearing a fluttering red and white kufiyah over a black hijab and red dress, as well as an Aura 9210+ N95 mask. They steady themselves with one hand on the lower left figure, and raise the other one up triumphantly. The left person is a fat Asian teenager wearing a black hoodie with a genderqueer symbol on the shoulder, and a black Laianzhi HYX1002 KN100 mask. They are holding a box labeled FREE that’s full of COVID-19 Rapid Tests, and two different kinds of plastic-wrapped N95s. The last figure is a middle aged Black person in a power chair, wearing a Flo Mask with a customised rainbow cover, a dark blue winter hat with a Disability pin on it, and a blue shirt featuring 6 countries flags from R to L: Sudan, Democratic Republic of the Congo, Palestine, Haiti, Puerto Rico, and Tigray, Ethiopia. Underneath reads: “RESPIRATOR MASKS PROTECT: your health, your identity, and your community. Find resources near you at COVIDActionMap.org”]
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maplesyrupsainz · 2 months
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˖⁺。˚⋆˙under their wings | OB87˖⁺。˚⋆˙
pairing: ollie bearman x fem y/n reader (she/her)
genre: social media au, established relationship
warnings: 2025 grid, teen reader (18)
summary: in which your taken under the wings of the other wags during your first half season as the youngest wag in the paddock 💓
a/n: loveeee this request omg had to write it straight away!! kind of short but think it fits :)
request!!!: smau fic set in 2025 in which ollie bearmans gf is quite young like 18/19 and people just react to how young the two of them are compared to the other drivers and wags?? like her hanging out with kika and alex and people just thinking it’s very cute they’re taking her under their wing ❤️
my masterlist
fc: agathe renou
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instagram ->
olliebearman 📍 melbourne
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liked by estebanocon, charles_leclerc, and others
olliebearman in the points for the first race of the season! 😎
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user1 omgggg i alr love the 2025 season
user2 same i love having ollie on the grid fr
user3 so cute is that his gf on the last slide
estebanocon a great first race!
olliebearman a true pleasure :)
charles_leclerc congratulations ollie ❤️
olliebearman thanks father🥹
alexandrasaintmleux 😂
user4 so obsessed with them
user5 the other drivers r all so sweet to ollie 🥺
oscarpiastri what a first race of the season!
olliebearman means too much 🤍
landonorris congrats!! keep pushing 👊
olliebearman 'preciate it 🔥
yourusername 🥹soso proud of u
olliebearman couldnt do it without you x
twitter ->
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instagram ->
yourusername
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liked by olliebearman, lilymhe, and others
yourusername 🦒 we've been travelling!!
tagged: olliebearman
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user11 ppl who r new to ollie & y/n, welcome 😎
lilymhe your hair is everyyyyythingggg !!
yourusername im blushing soso badly
francisca.cgomes u little beauty <3
yourusername 🥹🥹
alexandrasaintmleux the cutest!!!
yourusername lyyy
user12 omg the wags r so sweet
user13 omg squealing at all the wags
user14 it's too cute omg
charles_leclerc is that toffee the giraffe?
yourusername yea omg lolll embarrassing much
charles_leclerc embarrassing?! do you know who you're talking to 🤔
olliebearman true
alexandrasaintmleux yup
user15 HAHAH this is so cute & funny
user16 toffee the giraffe omg im obsessed
olliebearman love my favs!!
yourusername kisses from me & toffee :))
user17 too adorable 😭
f1wagupdates
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liked by user11, user2, user8, and others
f1wagupdates every time ollie bearman's girlfriend y/n y/l/n has been seen out in public with other f1 wags!
1. y/n out shopping with pierre gasly's girlfriend & model, kika gomes!
2. y/n seen for lunch with carlos sainz's wag & model, rebecca donaldson
3. y/n seen out in nyc with alex albon's girlfriend and golfer, lily muni he
4. y/n seen out again with kika gomes and alexandra saint mleux, charles leclerc's model & art enthusiast girlfriend ❤️
tagged: yourusername, francisca.cgomes, iamrebeccad, lilymhe, alexandrasaintmleux
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user18 omg i love themmmm
user19 this is jus the sweetest thing
user20 i love how they've taken her under their wing!!
user21 fr coz she must've been so nervous in the f1 paddock especially coz she's soo young
user22 fr i feel like there's barely any super young drivers on the grid atm for her & ollie to bond with
user23 literally omg it's so sweet of the wags <3
user24 how old is y/n?
user25 18 🥹
user26 oh to be y/n
user27 built in besties 😭
user28 i'd kill to be in the paddock with this wag lineup
user29 fr it's so iconic
user30 y/n & ollie being the grid babies and everyone adopting them is so personal to meeee
twitter ->
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instagram ->
yourusername posted a story
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liked by francisca.cgomes, olliebearman, and others
alexandrasaintmleux aww our lil babies 🥹💓
yourusername 😂 you & charles are taking the parent thing very literal
alexandrasaintmleux it's a very important job!
olliebearman love you baby
yourusername i love uuu
user32 me when omg
user33 goals much
landonorris he's such a simp
yourusername dont be a meanie lando!!
landonorris my bad. it's my natural instinct
yourusername i know but dont u worry ur little head! ur getting better 😇
olliebearman
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olliebearman little life update
tagged: yourusername
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user34 toffee!!!
user35 toffee & y/n appearances <33
user36 cant expect much else from an ollie post 😂
user37 true
arthur_leclerc catch up during summer break? 😎
olliebearman yes definitely ! 👍
francisca.cgomes the y/n pic did not disappoint!
olliebearman 😂 you guys are in love with my girl!
alexandrasaintmleux not true we can just appreciate true art :)
yourusername oh guys ur making me blush
olliebearman your beauty transcends language
yourusername ???
olliebearman nvm. charles told me to put that
alexandrasaintmleux 😂😂😂
user38 LOLLLL omg charles leclerc rizz
user39 i love these 2 😭
estebanocon what a season so far
olliebearman 🕺
user40 hahahaha love them
yourusername posted a story
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liked by lilymhe, iamrebeccad, and others
lilymhe i hear you girl 😴
yourusername need ollie to myself for once 😂
lilymhe literallyyyyy! f1 is exhausting!
alexandrasaintmleux same i can't go through border control again i might breakdown
yourusername yup. like ask me my reason for travelling one more time 👊
alexandrasaintmleux 😂😂😂
user41 so gorgeous
user42 ur glowinggg
liked by yourusername
user43 we'll miss u during break!!
olliebearman can't wait to spend summer with you my loveee 🥰
yourusername a well deserved rest baby 💓
yourusername 📍 hungary
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liked by olliebearman, estebanocon, and others
yourusername that's that done (for now) 🥰
tagged: olliebearman
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estebanocon so great having you in the garage this season!
yourusername thanks for making us feel so welcome estie 🥹
user44 too cute
user45 she's too stunning wow
lilymhe once again, your hair 😻
yourusername 🙈
charles_leclerc im sure we'll be seeing you both during the break
yourusername i imagine so 😇
carlossainz55 here's to summer break 🥂
liked by yourusername
francisca.cgomes 😘 im sure me & pierre will find u in europe this summer
yourusername oh 100% 💓
user46 she's made so many friends it's adorable 🥹🥹🥹
user47 ily y/n i wish i was uuuu
user48 my fav wag fr
user49 same she's won my heart so fast
olliebearman will be a summer to remember im sure ❤️ love you so much
yourusername ☀️ i love you!!
THE END 🤍
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iamred-iamyellow · 4 months
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⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ˚ Telepatía - [Part 1]
♥ next | masterlist
♥ pairing: platonic f1 grid x latina!fem!engineer!reader x lando norris
♥ smau + written (reader is lewis' ferrari race engineer)
♥ none of the pictures are mine, all were found on pinterest
♥ warnings: misogyny, swearing, and some suggestive language
♥ face claim: wolifecindy on insta & girls on pinterest
♥ a/n: I'm so sorry if my Spanish is incorrect, I'm a no sabo kid
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✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
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liked by mercedesamgf1, lewishamilton, and 239,384 more
yourusername visiting lew at merc
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mercedesamgf1 always happy to have you
*liked by original poster*
yourbestfriend THATS MY GIRL
yourusername love you <3
user60 you don't belong in f1
user73 shes lewis' new race engineer?!
user50 can't believe they're making the seven time champ work with her
user80 no one should be surprised when they loose
user1 lose*
user12 lose* 🤡
user6 that's rich coming from a man who can't spell lose properly.
user8 I'm so proud of her
fredrikvestiofficial I'm gonna miss you as my engineer
yourusername I'll see you in the paddock freddy dw xx
user40 shes probably just a fan of the hot guys
user7 maybe you should take a look in the mirror
user10 she's literally been working in motorsports since she was 19 ffs
user9 please let the rumors be true please please
user2 y/n at Ferrari is my dream
user14 you're so pretty
user6 unrelated but where'd you get those sunglasses
user15 our queen y/n
user56 they cant seriously be trusting her as Lewis' engineer?!
oscarpiastri happy to see you again
*liked by origional poster*
✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
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✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
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✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
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liked by scuderiaferrari, lewishamilton, and 946,853 more
yourusername I'm so incredibly honored to be where I am today. Ferrari has always been the dream for me. I can't wait to work with you @/lewishamilton. Forza Ferrari ❤️
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lewishamilton Feliz de que estés aquí. Deseando trabajar con usted.
*liked by yourusername*
user6 LEWIS SPEAKING SPANISH 😭
user7 he's so sweet
user12 the only man ever
yourmom muy orgullosa de ti mija 💞
yourusername gracias mama te amo 💗💗
charlesleclerc welcome to the Ferrari family
yourusername can you adopt me so I'm a leclerc
alexandra.saint.mleux it would be our honor
mercedesamgf1 back off she's susie's daughter
user8 merceds' admin is amazing
fredrikvestiofficial I already miss you :(
*liked by origional poster*
premaracing congrats y/n 🎉
*liked by origional poster*
user80 I can't believe she's really their new engineer
susie_wolff so proud of you <3
*liked by origional poster*
✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ ☾. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
-Australia 2025-
"It's the first race of the long awaited 2025 Formula 1 season. Welcome back everyone," Crofty said as he camera zoomed in on the track.
"It's definitely an exciting sight to see Hamilton in a Ferrari. Not to mention his new race engineer Y/n L/n who has just moved up from F2." Martin Brundle added.
"I'm really looking forward to what the two have in store today."
"Kravitz over to you."
Ted was walking around the track attempting to speak to Lewis before the race began. He caught a glimpse of Hamilton speaking to an interviewer beside his car.
"How are you feeling about today's race?" the interviewer said, holding the mic up to Lewis.
"I'm feeling pretty confident. The car was really good in testing, we had some good pace in quali, and I'm excited to work with Y/n this season."
"Speaking of Y/n L/n, do you think it will be a big mistake for Ferrari to bring her on the team? Especially as your engineer... knowing how much is on the line?"
"She's phenomenal at what she does and I trust no one more than her to get the job done."
"Don't you think there's some other people that have more experience than she does working in motorsports...?"
"Y/n has climbed up the ranks from f4, 3, 2, and now 1 just like the rest of us. If you're suggesting that she'll be a worse engineer because she's a woman, no. She won't be."
"That's- I wasn't saying she wasn't a good engineer because she's a woman. There's always risk when bringing on a new member. I was wondering if you think the risk is worth the potential reward."
"There's of course always the possibility that your race engineer is not a good fit for you as a driver, but there's not a larger risk due to the fact that she's not a man."
The interviewer continued to stumble over his words. Lewis' PR manager walked over to him, whispered something in his ear, and they both strolled away.
The camera panned to you in your seat in the garage with your headset on, carefully analyzing the data on the screen in front of you.
"You know I've worked with a fair share of awful male engineers in my day." Martin said on his mic and Crofty laughed softly.
~
Lewis had won the first race of the season which caused an eruption of applause from the crowd. The team let you stand on the podium to receive the constructors cup in their honor. It was definitely a day for the history books.
✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
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yourusername first place, serving face
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landonorris @/scuderiaferrari Voy a coger ella para ti
yourusername QUÉ?!?! 😧
user3 LANDO WHAT
user18 😭
schecoperez 🤣🤣
scuderiaferrari pardon?
user7 checo types like a dad 😭
user4 @/user7 that's caus he is one
yourusername @/landonorris DID CARLOS TEACH YOU THAT
landonorris @/yourusername yeah why?
fernandoalonso @/landonorris in latam you just said you'd fuck her for them
carlossainz55 I think what he was trying to say is he wants to steal you from ferrari
yourusername gave me a fucking heart attack omg
user3 I was gonna say ain't no way he's saying that on main
user17 LANDO STAND UP
user8 oh she ate I fear
user9 👑
francisca.gomes STUNNING
yourusername YOUR'E STUNNING
user2 beauty and brains
user10 not all the men bitching and moaning over y/n being an amazing race engineer
user8 she shut them up real quick
user3 women 🛐
user18 that's literally my wife
✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
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✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
-F1 July Summer Break-
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liked by landonorris, lewishamilton, and 429,320 more
yourusername you know I'm just a flight away
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lilymhe gorgeous
yourusername you're gorgeous
landnonorris and you didn't invite me?
yourusername if you wanted you could take a private plane 🤷‍♀️
landonorris hola desde inglaterra
carlossainz55 how come you're trying harder to learn spanish for her but not me
carlossainz55 lando answer me
lewishamilton roscoe misses you
yourusername dile que yo también le echo de menos
✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
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✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ ☾. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
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✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
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liked by yourbestfriend, landonorris, and 652,383 more
yourusername mystery man
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user90 half a season in and she's already dating a driver
yourbestfriend shut your bitch ass up
user5 @/user90 you're just jealous you cant bag a driver
user1 its totally possible the guy in the last pic is not even on the grid be so ffr
user2 literally the most beautiful woman I've ever seen
user8 I love women
user9 I don't watch f1 for hot guys I watch f1 for hot girls hdsjskd
✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
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end notes: thank you for reading <3 part 2 coming soon
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scealaiscoite · 25 days
Text
⋆˚࿔ build-a-fic 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
➴ chose a line of dialogue, an emotion and a setting (a number, letter, + a creature), and write/request to your heart’s content!
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𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ a piece of dialogue
꒰ 1 ꒱ “i can’t fucking believe this.”
꒰ 2 ꒱ “what they said back there. is it true?”
꒰ 3 ꒱ “it’s not safe here anymore- we need to leave. now!”
꒰ 4 ꒱ “you know how much i care about you.”
꒰ 5 ꒱ “they’re never going to hurt you again.”
꒰ 6 ꒱ “here, let’s get you warmed up.”
꒰ 7 ꒱ “i didn’t do it. please, you have to believe me!”
꒰ 8 ꒱ “i’m taking you home, and that’s that.”
꒰ 9 ꒱ “do you trust me?”
꒰ 10 ꒱ “i can’t sleep either. mind if i join you?”
꒰ 11 ꒱ “you’re not your worst mistake.”
꒰ 12 ꒱ “try and eat, if you can. it’ll make you feel better.”
꒰ 13 ꒱ “i say this with all the love in my heart, but you look like shit.”
꒰ 14 ꒱ “they’re going to surround us. we need to get ready.”
꒰ 15 ꒱ “i need you to leave.”
꒰ 16 ꒱ “we can’t be seen together like this. not anymore.”
꒰ 17 ꒱ “it’s dangerous. i need you to know that before you agree.”
꒰ 18 ꒱ “it’s just one night- surely sharing a bed for that long won’t kill us.”
꒰ 19 ꒱ “it’s getting dark, we should think about heading back.”
꒰ 20 ꒱ “what have i told you about coming here?!”
𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ an emotion
꒰ A ꒱ disdain
꒰ B ꒱ grief
꒰ C ꒱ ecstasy
꒰ D ꒱ disbelief
꒰ E ꒱ anxiety
꒰ F ꒱ contentment
꒰ G ꒱ drunkenness
꒰ H ꒱ enjoyment
꒰ I ꒱ confusion
꒰ J ꒱ fear
꒰ K ꒱ hunger
꒰ L ꒱ relief
꒰ M ꒱ distrust
꒰ N ꒱ fondness
꒰ O ꒱ delight
꒰ P ꒱ hurt
꒰ Q ꒱ love
꒰ R ꒱ sickness
꒰ S ꒱ exhaustion
꒰ T ꒱ betrayal
𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ a setting
꒰ 𓆉 ꒱ the corner bed in a hospital ward
꒰ 𓅨 ꒱ a spare bedroom
꒰ 𓆣 ꒱ an alleyway behind a dive bar
꒰ 𓃰 ꒱ a mountainside shrouded in fog
꒰ 𓃗 ꒱ a skeevy motel just off the highway
꒰ 𓃱 ꒱ a barren industrial plant in the middle of nowhere
꒰ 𓃟 ꒱ the lush, indulgent foyer of a member’s only club
꒰ 𓆟 ꒱ the war room of a military blacksite
꒰ 𓆈 ꒱ the produce aisle of a 24/7 supermarket
꒰ 𓅫 ꒱ the bedside of someone who doesn’t want you there
꒰ 𓅟 ꒱ the walk-in fridge of a failing restaurant
꒰ 𓃵 ꒱ a rickety old barn’s hayloft
꒰ 𓃓 ꒱ at work, far later than you should be
꒰ 𓆌 ꒱ a stranger’s bed at dawn
꒰ 𓆏 ꒱ an airplane hanger
꒰ 𓅭 ꒱ a medical bay that stinks of antiseptic and fear
꒰ 𓆗 ꒱ the kitchen of a derelict house
꒰ 𓃢 ꒱ the dressing room of a luxury department store
꒰ 𓆧 ꒱ the place where grassy plains meet desert dunes
꒰ 𓃔 ꒱ a beach at low tide
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hoonvrs · 6 months
Text
TRAINEES — l. heeseung smau
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PAIRING heeseung × fmr
SYNOPSIS heeseung wasn’t known as ‘the ace’ for nothing, constantly ranking number one after every monthly evaluation. then suddenly a new name takentakes over first place — baek ‘Rin’, and heeseung doesn’t take lightly to competition.
GENRE smau, fluff, crack, more to be added
FEATURING ( enha ) all, ( fromis9 ) chaeyoung, jiheon, ( txt ) yeonjun, ( newjeans ) minji
WARNINGS swearing, kys/kms jokes, friendly bullying, sex jokes, loser heeseung ( more will be added if necessary )
STATUS ongoing
TAGLIST ( OPEN )
S. NOTE new smau and as the queen of loser!enha that means loser heeseung agenda dun dun dunnn ( let’s completely ignore timelines cause if i keep switching between new and old pics don’t clock me.. )
noot hee you will always be famous
also please don't spam like as it shadowbans me and lessens engagement <3
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PROFILES
flower boys | hybestars
CHAPTERS
01 bang sihyuk count your days.
02 ain’t that ur rank
03 sunKISS MY ASS
04 i purple you heh
05 she gagged you omg
06 meeeeee :3
07 u pack of slags
08 Woah, calm down jamal
09 rupaulations 4:20
10 is somebody gonna match my freak
11 isn’t she so dreamy ( + 0.1k wc )
12 Donatella VERSACE
13 go train with your other bitch then
14 yare yare heeseung kohai
15 shoulda coulda woulda
16 STAY AWAY FROM HER
17 enemies 2 friends 2 strangers
18 not me I don’t care
19 whys he kinda good….
20 double homicide
21 macbeth hyungnim
22 u send?
23 eat a taki moss
24 u need psychological belp.
25 im gonna hump someone
26 SIX BOMBACLART EGGS
...more to be added
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copyright © hoonvrs 2024 all rights reserved
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rene-spade · 6 months
Text
miss louisiana i | c. leclerc, a. saint mleux | chase landry
poly! | fem! reader x obsessive! exes! charles leclerc, alexandra saint mleux (+chase landry and f1 grid)
synopsis. your obsessive exes refuse to accept your new relationship with a man completely different from them. maybe they should move to louisiana? jk!. . . unless?
note. ok so reader is from louisiana and has cajun roots for context. chase landry is from swamp people 😭✌️ I loved that show when I was younger & I rewatched some recently and it reignited my crush on him sorry
WARNING(s); obsessive/possessive behavior, toxic/creepy exes (I make is as fluffy as I can tho trust), ooc Alex and Charles being a rich and out of touch, a spec of classism, stalking oops, (everyone Loves you)
miss.y/n📍belle river, la
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liked by charles_leclerc, alexandrasaintmleux, jacoblandry, carlossainz55, and 1,006,349 others
miss.y/n back where I belong ☀️🌷🐊🐝🐍🌿🐠
view comments
mariene.y/l/n be safe in the water my baby 🤗
miss.y/n yes maman 🤞😊 you know I’m protected
user oop who’s protecting you miss ma’am
user omgggg how did Charles n Alex fumble so baddd 😩😩🙏 I’ve needed y/n’s cajun french baddie ass since DAY ONE 🗣️
charles_leclerc so beautiful mon ange 😍 but that water is dark and might be dangerous. ta maman a raison!
see translation | your mom is right
user stopp didn’t y/n break things off with them???
user2 currently losing it my fav throuple might be back 💪🗣️
carlossainz55 hope you’re doing well mi dulce ❤️
alexandrasaintmleux yeah no this isn’t happening
user carlos sweetie delete this comment while you still have hands <3
user SHE’S BACK IN LOUISIANA RAHH
user2 how did I not know she was from the middle of nowhere 😭 what is pierre part??
user3 how didn’t you know!!! her dad literally used to hunt alligator before he died and her mom remarried and moved back to France . Her dad was cajun
user this might be a reach but y’all think she knows anybody from swamp people? Love that show 🤣🤣
liked by miss.y/n
♤ ♤ ♤
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♤ ♤ ♤
Alex’s leg bounced up and down nervously as her call went to voicemail for the 7th time in a row. She’d been calling your phone nonstop since hearing the news, anxious to know if it was true or not. It was always something that ate at her; her and Charles’ inability to relate to your childhood in Louisiana. They’d grown up among a higher class than you and in foreign countries. You would just giggle and wave off her concerns, insisting that even though they couldn’t understand your upbringing, that at least you could understand theirs.
“No answer.” She muttered, teeth gnawing at her bottom lip. It was a habit she’d had as a child, one that you disapproved of and had trained out of her before you left them.
“She left us for a swamp man.” Charles pathetically finished Alex’s thought as they sat in his car, waiting to meet some other drivers and wags at the high-end restaurant Carlos chose.
“Don’t say it like that!” Alexandra turned her body towards the passenger window, “She didn’t leave us— not in that way! I told you she was homesick!”
Your father was a Cajun man who definitely took his culture to heart, doing a lot of hunting and fishing before he passed away suddenly when you were 12. Your mother was from France originally, and she remarried a rich Frenchman who’d ended up funding your modeling career after your success in pageantry. You moved straight to France at age 14 and found yourself in a completely different culture from how you grew up. You’d visited France before during summers with your mother, but it wasn’t home to you like Louisiana. You’d met Alexandra when the two of you were 19, and instantly bonded. Despite only really meeting briefly, it was love at first sight on Alex’s part and she supported you all the way to when you won Miss Universe after starting out Miss Louisiana.
When Charles had come along and had the same feelings that she did for you, it felt perfect, like everything had finally come together.
“With us is her home.” Charles replied, sucking his teeth.
“I can’t even—” Alex didn’t have to finish, the two had the same thought. They can’t even fathom the idea that you were with someone else.
x
Daniel was practically cackling in joy while Carlos at least tried to hide his amusement by covering his face. It was no secret that most of the f1 grid was praying for you to leave Charles/Alex so they could get a chance— but this wasn’t what they were expecting.
Bickering around the table ensued, only a few seconds before Alex was rolling her eyes with a groan and putting her face in her hands, “He doesn’t have any recent social media so I can’t even stalk him.”
“So we will just go there!”
“And what? Become swamp people?” Daniel was laughing so hard he was tearing up.
“Cha, that’s so ridiculous.” Alex mumbled.
“It is—!” Kika agreed suspiciously fast, “I just mean the split was recent, so maybe me and Pierre should visit her before you guys?” It’d only been a few months, but that had been enough to drive Charles and Alex a bit off the rails.
They’d only ever been apart from you for just over two days in the last year, up until you ghosted them. Well— it wasn’t technically ghosting when you left a note; a very brief letter in your familiar handwriting that told them you needed some space. They didn’t take it as a break up, although they did panic. Their numbers weren’t blocked, so they naturally took that as a good sign. This was probably because you wanted their attention since all their calls and messages were going through. The finality of it didn’t hit until it reached two weeks of no-contact from you and their photos were removed from your Instagram. The public noticed and so did the rest of the grid despite Alex and Charles’ now 3-month-long denial stage.
“le lieu s'appelle Pierre Part, yeah?” Pierre grinned and Charles sneered at him. (the place is called pierre part)
“They might have a point,” Daniel winced with a wide grin, “I think you’ll just look crazy if you show up. At least, one of us would just look like a friend who misses her, ya know?”
“None of you are visiting our girlfriend!” Alex frowned.
“Ex,” Carlos gently corrected into his fist with a cough before straightening up, “She jus’ is homesick maybe so give her some space and she will come back in no time.”
“I knew this would happen.” Alex slumped with her chin in her hand, “cet endroit est sa maison.” (that place is her home)
“You’ve never heard ‘if you love something, let it go’? If it’s meant to be, she’ll come back.” Daniel tried to reassure, but his face was almost a wince.
“We just wanted her close to us is all! We travel so much, we didn’t mean to take her away from her home—”
But Daniel gave them a look, knowing about their behavior with you. As in love with you as they are, Alex and Charles are intense about it. Endearing on one hand for awhile, but then the jealousy got worse and they were pretty delusional about their tendencies. He could understand it honestly— you were lovely. He imagined he’d be in the same state as Alex and Charles if you were his and you left him. Which is why he cut them so much slack, the rest of the table too.
“I don’t understand why she ran away like that!” Charles finished with a huff, running his fingers through his hair. He was starting to sweat. This felt like a cruel joke on your part— a mean way to get their attention.
“His ears are a little big.” Alex whispered, staring into her phone with a pout.
“et cela! regarde nos oreilles!” (and that! look at our ears!)
Pierre lost it at that; Charles pulling at his ears to make a point, “Maybe he’s just a nice guy, man!”
“We are nice!”
“Let me see.” Carlos walked around the table to see Alex’s phone.
She’d googled the name of your alleged new boyfriend— Chase Landry. He had starred on some Southern US reality show ‘Swamp People’; it mainly surrounded cajun alligator hunters in Louisiana. They had known you liked the show, but had never seen it themselves.
“Eh,” Carlos shrugged, “his ears aren’t that big. He is a little old for her though, no? 34?”
“Exactly! He is a pervert! I’m calling her again, actually.”
♤ ♤ ♤
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♤ ♤ ♤
miss.y/n 📍pierre part, la
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liked by jacoblandry, carlossainz55, francisca.cgomes, danielricciardo, and 1,014,108 others
miss.y/n me and my dirty swamp man foreva 🤞💛🌷🦆
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user STOPPP SHE SAID THAT’S MY MAN N IMMA STICK BY HIMMMM
user2 stfu 😭✋ the fact that this man most likely has no idea that this is going on
user3 his brother liking her posts and filling him in
miss.y/n jokes on y’all Jacob doesn’t know what’s going on either
bellahadid beautiful lily faery and her dirty swamp bf <3
miss.y/n <3 literally
user BELLA⁉️
arthur_leclerc beautiful view of the water, ma sœur!
see translation | my sister
user THEY SENT Y/NS FAVORITE LECLERC BROTHER IN TO PLAY DAMAGE CONTROL
user2 not “my sister” 😭😭😭 leclercs let her go challenge
user y/n’s harem coming to her defense like the mighty morphin power rangers 😭😂🤣
x
this is part 1 of perhaps 3. I plan on making part 2 much longer and more writing than social media like this one, just for some balanceee
taglist; @alliwantisadonut @splaterparty0-0 @charizznorizz
Ren
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emperorundying · 9 months
Text
TLT Dash Simulator Pt 2
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⚔️ cav4cav
Crazy take but people with natural thanergy can swing a sword too if they want to. It literally doesn't hurt you at all.
💜 necromxntic Follow
"people with natural thanergy" you mean necromancers. if you mean necromancers, say necromancers.
🦇 gaiuspilled-necrocel Follow
It could hurt me if they hit me with a sword :(
⚔️ cav4cav
I shouldn't have to say this but I guess I do!!! If you believe natural thanergy = inherent necro, STAY OFF OF MY BLOG!!
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#howww do these people even keep finding my blog #i am literally a thanergetic cavalier you do not believe i exist stay the fuck away
( 37 notes )
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🩸 bloodnblingee Follow
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Seventh gifset for anon!! I loveeee the seventh house aesthetic so much, sorry about the disease :( hope u like this!!
#seventh house #anon #request #gif edit #7th
( 413 notes )
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🎩 taintofpatience Follow
The Only Heaven I'll Be Sent To (Alone With You)
Fandom: Religious RPF
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Emperor Undying (Necrolord Prime) / The Saint of Patience (Augustine The First)
Characters: Emperor Undying (Necrolord Prime), The Saint of Patience (Augustine The First), The Saint of Joy (Mercymorn The First)
Tags: Smut, Angst, Apostles to Lovers, Kissing, Friends With Benefits, Pining, Blasphemy, Religion Kink, PWP
Summary: Our Lord and Resurrector brings something else to life-- his first saint's libido. Beginning starts a little slow but after that it's mostly just Jaugustine fucking and sucking LOL
Keep reading
#rpf #religious fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #augustine the first #emperor undying #necrolord prime #jaugustine #emperor john gaius #nsft
( 3,004 notes )
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💀 drearybruh Follow
when yr a fucking meal but she only ever wanted a snack
💀 drearybruh Follow
it's fine. im fine. im doing great fuck you
💎 saintofawe ☑️ Follow
L + Ratio + Found your vent blog Gibbon (:
#and when our lord and emperor confronts me about cruelty towards his second-choice daughter figure I will remind him ever so gracefully that you do it to yourself #like the Radiohead song
( 1,384 notes )
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💉 se7en Follow
weekly poll!! <3
( 14,685 notes )
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🪩 3flesh5end Follow
THE TOWER PRINCES ARE 19 AND 23????
🪩 3flesh5end Follow
GET THEM OFF THE BATTLEFIELD THEY SHOULD BE AT THE CLUB!!!!
#not to defend a war criminal but kiriona is literally just a girl in the universe.... #let her dance! #come to the third girl i could treat you better
( 269 notes )
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☠️ is-the-emperor-undying-dead-yet Follow
nope.
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onlyswan · 6 months
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summary: in which the sweet ache of yearning metamorphoses into the art of intimacy and knowing.
idol!jk x reader, est. relationship / fluffy fluff, a dash of angst, explicit content (minors dni!!) / word count: 10.5k
warnings/content: divided into seven parts. it’s like a timeline hehe <3 ; mainly in jk’s pov!! ; underaged drinking (oc is 18 in that part but the legal age of drinking in sk is 19 so!) ; mention of almost? n*des (neither sent by our mcs) ; making out ; thigh grinding ; brief or*l (f. rec + allusions to m. rec) ; mention and allusion to s*x [yesyes it’s the first time] [oc may or may not cry a little too…] ; they have a ‘what if i die before you?’ discourse lmao
playlist! restless - bibi ; lily of the valley - daniel ; who do you love - the black skirts ; intro (end of the world) - ariana grande ; snow - josh makazo
> in which masterlist!
note: look at my gorjus ethereal bf !!!! anyway… hi, i’m back ^_^ here’s my not so little offering to those who’s been missing the iw couple <3 as always i’d love to hear your thoughts :") come chat!!
I. THE FALLING
“just stay the night.” you blurt out, turning to jungkook to express your worry. “i can’t let you leave right now. it’s not safe.”
his wide eyes scan the headline of the news once more.
heavy snowfall, road accident, several injured… versus staying the night at the apartment of not quite his friend, not quite his lover, for the first time.
he can’t deny that he favors the latter over the former with an explicable feeling rendering him breathless. still, he can’t allow his enthusiasm to cloud his better judgement. he knows he’s still somewhat of a stranger to you. he doesn’t want to overstay his welcome or make you feel uncomfortable in your own space.
“are you sure you’re comfortable with it?”
“sure. should i be worried?“
“no! uhm, i just thought not everyone would be comfortable to have a person they’re not very close with to sleep over.”
you chuckle, lightly bumping your shoulder against his. “chill. i have bigger things to be scared of than the guy who just cried with me while watching an anime movie.”
oh… he thought you were too absorbed in wiping your own tears to notice him crying too.
he slumps back on the sofa with a sigh. “i see. i guess we’re left with no choice then.”
“i have an extra toothbrush!”
jungkook doesn’t quite understand people’s obsession with his eyes, but getting enamored by the innocence that yours seem to glisten with, he wonders if he is experiencing the same case.
“can you see if this fits you?”
you stand before him with a stack of neatly folded clothes, unraveling a pair of gray sweatpants to hold up infront of him.
“i think… there’s a string? oh, there’s none.”
he chuckles. “you forgot?”
“well, it’s not mine. my ex never came back for his clothes.“ you huff with a roll of your eyes, muttering a silent his loss into the air. “i’ve washed it though! don’t worry! it’s just- you know- sleeping in denim pants is uncomfortable.”
does that mean you still wear the clothes of your exes? this pisses him off for some unknown reason. he would much rather sleep uncomfortably than wear their clothes.
you kindly smile, pushing the black knitted sweater against his chest. “but this is mine. it’s really warm and comfortable!”
but on another note, you’re too sweet and thoughtful. how could he ever say no?
the sweatpants is a little loose around his waist. your sweater, however, feels incredibly soft against his skin. as he walks back into the living room, he pulls down his sweater paws and runs his hands across its sleeves. if he had to describe the feeling it evokes, he would say it is very much similar to rolling around on freshly washed and dried bedsheets.
“it’s nice, right?”
he whips his head around upon hearing the sound of your voice. for a quick second, you caress his arm with the back of your hand, and even with the barrier separating your skin from his, the casual touch causes his breath to hitch.
“i finished cleaning the room. i set up a comforter on the floor so you can take the bed.”
“is that so? thank you!”
he zooms past you. you’re left standing alone, blinking in confusion. he is more than happy to welcome himself into your bedroom… so he can slyly steal the bed you prepared for yourself. he slides under the covers, makes himself all cozy with his hands resting on the back of his head as if it’s not a raging winter and he’s lying under the summer sun.
“and what do we have here?”
jungkook cracks one eye open. there you are leaning against the doorframe with your arms crossed. you raise your eyebrows at him, demanding an answer.
“what?” he smiles childishly. “you’re the one doing me a favor. i’m not going to let you sleep on the floor.”
“how polite. suit yourself, sir.” you shake your head in amusement, smiling.
you enter the room, flicking the lightswitch off and locking the door at the speed of light. without thinking, probably; muscle memory formed by your routine. he is the only thing not a part of it. yet.
“goodnight, jungkook.”
“goodnight.”
he still sees you moving around in the dark. you crouch down beside him and he feels the extra pillow he’s partially crushing under his weight be jerked away all of a sudden.
“i need this one. sorry.” you whisper-shout apologetically. “goodnight! sweet dreams!”
jungkook sighs, tired of mindlessly scrolling through social media. his eyes flutter shut as he allows his phone to collapse on his chest. he is yet to even figure out if going to work later would be possible because of the blocked roads. he has gotten enough earful about not heading straight to the dorm and he cannot risk any more. because then, he would have to see less of you.
he sneakily opens his eyes, craning his head to the side to steal a glance of you, but he finds that you’ve already fallen asleep on your textbook and he’s unable to look away again. bathed in the warm light of the lampshade on your bedside, he has never seen you more peaceful. he learns with hard evidence that you’re a side sleeper, curled up underneath the blanket and cutely snuggled against the pillow you took from him.
he doesn’t know how long he’s been admiring you, but he knows he doesn’t want you to think of him as a creep. you stir in your sleep and his hand swiftly flies to his phone. pretending to be absorbed in reading the first tweet he comes across, he tries taking another subtle glimpse of you.
it’s as if he’s been caught and punished.
he flinches.
your textbook collides with the floor, landing only inches next to his pillow. he begins sweating. he could’ve easily gotten a concussion at best, death at worst.
he sits up with his elbows anchoring him, poking around to investigate the cause of the fall. admittedly, he’s a little sad to see your back now facing him.
“shit, what am i doing?” he roughly rubs his face to knock some sense back into him.
he needs to get some sleep. yeah, that’s it. nothing more.
he picks up your textbook, taking it upon himself to bring it over to your desk. on his way back, he also decides to to turn off the lampshade.
his finger freezes on the button, however. he sinks his teeth into his bottom lip to silence the giggle that threatens to escape him— so fucking endeared to discover that you’ve kicked off your blanket and rolled over to your other side along with the pillow, your thigh carelessly slumped over it.
he tucks himself back into bed, heart feeling all warm and fuzzy.
“so, so adorable.”
the words escape him without thought; the smile on his face ever-present even as he drifts off to dreamland.
II. ALLOW ME TO LINGER BY THE DOOR
“hey, it’s getting late. shouldn’t you be heading home by now?”
you sit beside jungkook on the sofa after a phone call, and his round eyes grow twice their size when you steal the iced tea from his grasp, nonchalant as your lips wrap around the same red straw his have been only seconds ago.
he awkwardly clears his throat, perhaps to mask his loud heartbeat. “is your friend okay?”
“oh, she’ll be fine. it’s her fault so i can’t do much for her this time.” you shrug, picking up your chopsticks as you eye the last dumpling in the bowl. “still hate that guy, though.”
“the one you think is lying about being rich?”
“i don’t know much about real ones, but i’m pretty sure i’ve seen enough fake diamonds!”
that seems to hits the right spot to elevate your mood. you hum happily as you chew, collapsing on the cushions and looking straight ahead at the television screen.
“sorry about that. you must be bored and tired by now.”
“about that…” jungkook swallows his nervousness. he rests his arm on top of the sofa, just to act cool. he’s so close to you yet still so distant. “i’m dead tired from filming today. i’ve been up since four in the morning. would it be too much trouble if i spend the night again?”
“i should be the one asking you that. why do you like this trashy place way more than i do?” you shake your head, wiping your mouth with a paper napkin. “i’ll go fix up so you can rest then. you’re lucky minji didn’t claim the bed first.”
fuck, he was supposed to get kicked out?
“wait! do you need a change of clothes?”
“there’s no need!” he replies a little too quickly. if he has to wear the clothes of another one of your exes, he might end up on the news for setting himself on fire. “i have extras in my backpack i didn’t got to wear today.”
“oh, okay.” you flash him a smile before disappearing into the bedroom.
yeah, how convenient.
he exhales through his mouth.
when did he start lying? his mother would be very disappointed in him. but on the other hand, his father would explode in boisterous laughter and pat him on the back. nevermind… that just makes it worse.
“guess i’m going to hell!” he shrugs, wearing a smile that is rather too jubilant.
he grabs his backpack on the floor and heads to the bathroom; your home is another home away from home.
jungkook is exhausted from dance practice. he must’ve exerted himself too hard again without realizing it. for the third time this week, he’s attaching pain relief patches to his neck and shoulders, shirt pulled to the side as to expose the area. normally, he’d just take it off without care, but he’s in a different setting. while he’s pretty confident with the current condition of his body, it would be rude to strip out of nowhere. and you make him nervous. would he fluster you or would you fluster him? he’s not prepared to find out yet.
“are you okay?”
his movements from below capture your attention amidst catching up to the events in your group chats.
“i’m okay, just a little sore. don’t worry!” he waves off your concern with a scrunch of his nose. “i also fell asleep in the car earlier so…”
“i can give you a massage. if you want.”
“no, it’s fine.” even though the offer sounds extremely tempting, especially coming from you. “i know you’re tired too.”
“hm, your loss. i’m kind of an expert at it.”
he squints his eyes at you. “really?”
“you don’t believe me?”
you sit up on the bed with an offended gasp, and he laughs at how you quite literally rose up to the challenge.
“we do have actual experts come in and take care of us too, you know that?”
“excuse you, i’m an actual expert! i have more than a decade of experience!”
he isn’t surprised to witness you climb down immediately afterwards, sitting behind him with your hands already on his shoulders.
“hmm, my dad worked at construction sites. my mom had a desk job. this- this was my job.” your fingers begin pressing down as if you’re assessing him, touching the bare skin of his still exposed shoulder. “got paid with extra allowance. making money was easy back then.”
“you’re so adorab- ah, ah, ah-” his sentence is cut short by his own self when you apply pressure on a big knot, gently massaging it in small circles to loosen the tightly wound muscle fibers. “fuck, it hurts… yeah, that’s good. don’t stop.”
he hears you snort, feels your forehead collapse on his back as vibrant giggles rack your body. a blush of red creeps up to his cheeks and he’s thankful that you can’t see his face.
he laughs along, belly aching. “okay, okay- i heard it! i should keep my mouth shut!”
“no no no, i won’t laugh anymore!”
“you’re still doing it right now!”
“i’ll stop!” you sniffle, laughed to the point of tears. you squeeze his shoulders. “just relax! you’re so tense here, see? no wonder it hurts.”
there’s no denying that his body is pushed to its limits everyday; he has grown accustomed of this kind of lifestyle and he doesn’t complain. you’re making him want to do it all the time, though. if it means getting pampered like this? hell yeah.
“it hurts here too. over- over here-” he reaches a hand to his back, patting the area that has been bothering him all day. “this part. will you make it go away, please?”
“here? your shoulder blade?”
“yes!”
“okay. tell me if i should go gentler or harder. i don’t want to hurt you.”
it’s his turn to snort. he shortly learns that was not a smart move.
“ah, ah, ah-” you pull at his ear and this time he moans in pain. “oh, come on! you gave that one away!”
“shut up! you’re not allowed to laugh too!”
he tries not to create more embarrassing sounds. at some point he begun to busy himself with his phone, but to no avail, there are occasional moans and grunts he can’t bite down because you weren’t lying about being a pretty damn good masseur. and then he does it on purpose once, just to hear you laugh again, because his being already feels a million times lighter and you show no signs of exhaustion or boredom.
“you have a mole here,” you casually observe. he feels a light touch on the side of his neck and the butterflies in his stomach become untamed. “it’s sexy.”
he blushes, caught off guard by the compliment. “thank you.”
“you’re welcome.” you hum.
the minutes pass by and he is no longer faking silence, however. all he can think about now is how he wishes that he was lying down for this. how long has it been? you’ve been definitely at it for almost an hour. he yawns, eyelids fighting to stay open but failing miserably.
“hey, wipe your drool.”
he blinks. your beautiful face greets him— for a second, he’s convinced that he has begun dreaming. with a mischievous grin, you lift the collar of his shirt to wipe the corners of his lips, and in a state of near delirium, he cackles.
“seriously, thank you… i-i don’t even know what to say. i really needed that.” he sighs, carelessly rubbing his heavy eyes. “i’ll treat you to dinner tomorrow. how about that?”
“sounds good. now go to sleep.” you pat his back before rising on your feet. “your head kept on dropping and i felt bad.”
“that happens a lot.”
“well, it’s bad for your neck. keep doing it and i’ll get more free dinners.”
the unmistakable sound of a kiss that follows, it suspiciously matches with the warmth that lingers on his cheek.
“goodnight!”
“goodnight…” he only manages to mumble.
his mind has gone off to space. you tuck yourself into your bed after turning off the lampshade while jungkook feels like he just got blasted to the moon. he needs to get out of here. STAT.
“i’ll go drink some water. do you want me to get you a glass?”
“no, i’m fine.”
he makes out your figure shuffling in the dark, snuggled closely to a pillow.
he nods, which you probably didn’t even see. he steps out of the room as quietly as possible, slowly closing the door as to produce the smallest click. he pads to the kitchen still feeling light, almost like he’s walking on a path made out of clouds. he pours himself a glass of cold water from the fridge, chugs it down to the very last drop.
he licks his lips as he sets down the glass on the counter. he sighs deeply. he can still feel the outline of your lips, sticky lip balm printed on his skin. is it normal that he couldn’t be bothered to wipe it off?
“totally worth going to hell for.” he muses, unaware of the smirk that has started playing on his lips.
he briskly washes the glass at the sink, wiping it dry with a towel before deposting it back into the rack.
as expected, you’ve already fallen asleep by the time that he returns. the light from the hallway casts a glow over your face and it’s a sight that is painfully intimate in its own peculiar way.
he can’t put a name to it, but whatever this feeling is, he likes it and he wants it to last.
and so, he lingers by the door for a few seconds more.
III. THE YEARNING
jungkook hisses your name with yet another curse, heart so close to jumping out of his chest. when you were on the phone incoherently begging him to take you home from the club, he expected to carry out a passed out person from his car to their apartment floor, which he found no problem with aside from the possibility of having to deal with them throwing up.
instead, he is struck by an unusual combination of amusement and distress. he has been running around trying to capture you as you spend your final bursts of energy ringing strangers’ doorbells. your exhilarated laughter echoes throughout the hallways. he must confess that he was laughing along with you the first time… until it started to get a little bit out of hand.
if someone recognizes him by chance, he would be beyond fucked.
“don’t- don't do it! stop it! please!” he finally manages to seize your wrist before it can reach another, forced to wrap his arms around your torso so you won’t escape from him again. “are you crazy? it’s 3am! people are sleeping!”
“that’s the point.” you mewl, looking back to him with a childish pout underneath the hood of your coat. “why are they sleeping? it’s when the ghosts come out. does no one ever think about ghosts’ feelings? because i do! if i were a ghost, i’d be lonely and crying right now!”
oh my god, what is happening?
“so let’s invite them and everyone for more drinks!” you jump up and down, his secure hold doesn’t hold a candle to your hypernese. “jungkook, i want to drink more! more more more! buy me!”
unfortunately, he doesn’t have the time to dwell on your cuteness. he hears a door click from behind and his instincts instantaneously kick in. oh shit, you actually fucking woke someone up. he sweeps you off your feet, clasping a hand over your mouth to mute your angry protests. he turns at a corner, trapping you against the wall.
a deep and manly voice fills the silence. “hello? who’s there?”
two pairs of eyes widen, staring at each other as if they can read minds through them. he notices the unsteady rise and fall of your chest; your heart must be beating as fast as his. he has to pull down his black mask to be able to breathe.
“you’re going to be the death of me.” he grumbles with a pointed look.
when you smile, he perceives it first through the palm of his hand before it reaches your eyes. only then does he fully register the dangerously close proximity between you.
dangerous because he wants to kiss you.
dangerous because you’d dare him to do it and his self-control has been reduced to a million cracks.
“ah, this prank again! fucking teenagers!”
and the door slams shut. you both flinch.
“that guy has a fridge full of beer!”
you are vexed, voice muffled but still clearly loud. you harshly paw at his forearm to remove his hand, and your pout finally comes into view.
“no, you’ve had enough! seriously, what am i going to do with you? huh? you shouldn’t even be drinking at all.” he blows a loud breath, frustratedly running his fingers through his hair. “how did you even get in the club? fake id? you have it, don’t you?”
you rush to defend yourself. “i’m only younger by a year and i don’t look like it! as if they actually care in those places. they only want money.”
he begins to question if the bloodshot of your eyes is solely because of the alcohol or you’re also on the verge of tears.
“why? are you mad at me?”
“no, i’m not mad. should i be?”
“…i don’t know. why do you even care about things like that? you’re not my boyfriend or my parent so i don’t need to explain myself to you.” you angrily ramble, wriggling out of the tight spot he had you trapped in.
and that felt like a fucking dagger to the heart.
“you know what? i-i can do this. i can take care of myself, so go home.”
“____, don’t be like this, please. you’re drunk.”
“i’m not drunk, just tipsy! you can go home!”
he runs after you, but you shrug him off and continue walking away, perhaps a little too fast. he curses himself when he catches up to you seconds too late, witnessing you fall over to the floor with a thump and a whimper.
“are you okay?! where does it hurt?!”
you shake your head profusely, but your hands gripping your ankle gives away the answers. he doesn’t press you further. without another word, he hooks an arm under your knees and the other under your back, swooping you from the floor. he stands up straight, adjusts your position slightly, and walks the path you attempted to travel alone in your intoxicated state.
perhaps he is mad. he went and abandoned his rest time when you said that you needed him, only for you to rudely send him home. he has the right to be mad, even just a little bit, despite the fact that he isn’t your boyfriend, right?
not that it matters.
you cling to his neck and it all melts away.
he glances down at you. a soft smile has replaced your frown. “oh, so now you’re happy again?”
“yes,” you tilt your head. “feels like i’m floating.”
“where’s your key?”
“huh?”
“your key-”
“oh!”
you dig out the item from the pocket of your coat. you proudly dangle it infront of his face along with the colorful keychains attached to it; the bear was gifted by yours truly from japan. he totally forgot that it existed. the last time he saw it was when he tossed it in the paper bag he gave you.
he’s not even your boyfriend. the two of you know that doesn’t make sense anymore.
after he sets you down on the sofa, he kneels on the floor to remove the heels from your aching feet. he gets the hang of it after unfastening the second strap. while he’s preoccupied, you strip off your coat to combat the increased temperature of your body.
“i need to pee.” you urgently kick off the heels as you rise on your feet.
jungkook looks up and forgets how to breathe. you are irresistibly gorgeous; the cherry red mid-thigh dress you’ve been hiding from him hugs your body so perfectly. he’s ensnared and thoroughly convinced that you’re aware of your power to leave men and women alike sweating and tongue-tied.
goddammit, he is mad. you were at the club looking like this among flashing lights and grinding bodies and he is not your boyfriend.
“doesn’t your ankle hurt?”
“doesn’t matter. i need to pee.”
he clicks his tongue as you limp your way towards the bathroom.
“you’re so hardheaded.”
he lifts up your arm to bring it over his shoulders; he holds your waist to assist you.
“and your heart is so soft.” you giggle, and his world stops when you hold his face… peppering his cheek with an amount of kisses he doesn’t have half the mind to count.
you said you’re not drunk, just tipsy. does that mean you genuinely like him this much and you’ll remember it when you wake up?
dear god, he hopes so.
jungkook is supposed to wake up in four hours. however, he’s still wide awake sitting by your pillow, mind completely blank on what he’s supposed to do now that you’re safe and sound. he can’t bring himself to leave just yet. you bump against his knee as you shuffle and squirm, eyes closed but yet to land in the confines of slumber. he can hear your rugged and frustrated breathing, can’t help but to hopelessly adore how pretty you are even with knitted eyebrows and tousled hair.
he likes you so much. he knows it hasn’t been that long since you met but the thought of losing the chance of winning you over makes him want to cry and throw a tantrum. you’re running in his mind day and night. you have permeated all his senses. you charm him with your unapologetic existence and you effortlessly captivate his ungiven affections.
when it comes to love, his passion becomes a weakness.
a whine emits from your parted lips as if you sense that something is wrong. your hands pat around the mattress— searching and searching, until they stumble upon him. you push yourself up, head landing on the pillow, and your arms, they hug him close by his waist. only then do you finally come to a still, chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm.
you are at peace and he is experiencing an emotional turmoil— falling in love. this is simply not fair.
the lines are becoming so blurry. he is losing control of his hands, hyperaware of what he is capable with his possession of them. he strokes your head gently, hair brushing across his palm— this is soothing to him as much as it is you.
this feels right, he thinks. he wants time to stretch from this galaxy to another.
he feels a weak tug at his sweater.
“i’m cold now,” your complaint comes out mumbled against the thick fabric.
next thing he knows you’re pulling him down by his collar, leaving him with no choice but to lie down beside you as to not crush you under his weight. where the hell did you gather the strength to do that?!
he hisses in panic. “yah! what are you doing?”
“i’m cold,” you repeat.
“____, we’re lying down on the blanket. if you can just scoot over for a seco- i’ll take it out. move-”
his attempts on communicating to you only fall on deaf ears. he zips his mouth to admit defeat.
you cling to him for warmth, and jungkook finds himself giving more than that. he volunteers his arm to be your pillow, softly cupping the back of your head as you nuzzle your face on his chest; his other arm wraps around your torso to keep you close. it is quite a tight fit on a single bed— he figures out a lame excuse for later.
now he can say for certain that you’re hearing his heartbeat, but he doesn’t seem to care anymore. he also doesn’t mind the scent of alcohol because it’s tragically losing the battle against your sweet perfume. it renders him enchanted. and the dress… that hypnotizing dress. he squeezes his eyes shut, trying to banish the sinful thoughts flooding his imagination.
he didn’t peg you to be the physically affectionate type, but seeing that you can’t sleep without hugging something, someone— he wants to be just the thing that you cherish as your safe haven. he wants this memory to be cute… and romantic. but too much heavy on the romance, you affect his body and heart in ways no one can.
he tries to will his growing erection to ebb away. it’s not an appropriate situation. he likes and respects you too much.
“my makeup…”
you said it so quietly, he almost believed he was making it up in his head.
“what was that?”
“will you- please, will you help me take off my makeup? it’s bothering me.” you make one final request at the depths of drowsiness, speech slurred and stuttered. “the wipes… the drawer behind you.”
he should’ve thought of that. he’s learning. next time, he will.
he settles into his previous position after grabbing the wipes.
“how do i help? is it okay if i d-”
he interrupts his question when he realizes that you’ve finally fallen asleep.
his sigh momentarily fills the defeaning silence of the night. the exhaustion has also begun to take a toll on him. he’s going to have to catch up on sleep during car rides and set breaks. he’s already dreading it as he’s planning around their hectic schedule.
as he wipes off your makeup as carefully as possible, he mutters into the thin air. “you owe me a massage for this.”
IV. HAPPINESS OUTSIDE DAYDREAMS
“you’re my boyfriend now and you don’t sleep on the floor anymore. how cute is that?” you happily think out loud, swinging your feet dangling at the edge of the bed. “but if you want to go back to our old ways… my bed is small even for me.”
“no way. are you kidding?!” he jokingly protests in an angry manner. “your bed is perfect.”
jungkook is on cloud nine. it sure does feel good to hear you sound so happy calling him your boyfriend, even more so to reap its special privileges.
“i keep forgetting to ask. which side do you prefer?”
you’re sat facing the door. “i don’t know, but i’m used to sleeping here.”
“alright. i’ll stay here.” he climbs under the covers, spreading his arms once his back hits the mattress. the smirk on his face widens. “come here, baby.”
a grunt slips past his lips when you jump into his arms without warning, eventually falling over to the side when he moves to envelope you in his embrace.
“you’re so warm.” you purr in contentment as you bury your face against his chest. “i love cuddling so much.”
“i’ve noticed,” he replies. he softly squeezes your exposed thigh after you slump your leg over his hip to maximize your comfort. “your pillow must be softer than me though.”
“no, i like you more… cuddling is proven to have health benefits, you know?”
he quirks an eyebrow. “oh really? give me examples.”
“it releases happy chemicals in the brain… it apparently also helps to lower blood pressure and heart rate, and it-” you fail to stifle a sleepy yawn, hands grasping the cloth of his shirt and forming closed fists. “…improves one’s quality of sleep.”
“i can see it’s working well for you.” he chuckles.
“is it for you?”
“mhmm, yes,” he presses his lips to your forehead. “i’m happy. there’s only happy chemicals in my brain right now.”
jungkook means it wholeheartedly and it feels strange. he doesn’t feel happy in this moment alone. this happiness is colossal and there’s not nearly enough hours in a day to take it all in. this happiness will still be here when he wakes up tomorrow, and the day after that. this happiness stays with him even when you’re not physically present. you’ve turned him into an optimistic fool but it’s not always that he experiences an attraction this strong.
he’s smitten and he can’t hide it. the people who are around him everyday sees it on his face; he doesn’t even need to say it out loud. all that corny shenanigans about romance giving you a certain type of glow is apparently true, it turns out.
“kissing is said to have the same effects, actually.”
your coyness captivates him from his thoughts.
he draws back slightly, the glint of mischief in his eyes mirroring yours. “where do you learn these things?”
“through reading and experience.” you shrug innocently. “want to test that out too?”
you’re everywhere. he can taste your lips, your tongue; your body wash floods his sense of smell with a sweet and clean scent, plus something else he can’t quite name. he can only it describe as you. your hair is tangled in his fingers and your hands… so delicate and teasing with every touch, it feels like being electrified. it still feels incredibly chilly outside but heat is radiating off his skin. he needs to peel himself off you before he loses his last shred of self-control.
“baby…” he whispers, lips only a couple inches from yours. he takes your hand in a tender hold, placing it over his racing heartbeat. “i’m not sure about this one being good for my health.”
“but it is. you just burnt some calories.” you smile, wiping the sweat that has started to form on his forehead. “should we stop?”
he feels his cheeks become more flushed, but his craving for you has overtaken his shyness. he might as well be drunk; intoxicated by you.
“no.” he refuses, conflicted and almost pained. “i can’t…”
he gets rid of the distance between your lips once more, swallowing the first obscene moan he brings out of you.
V. THE SPRING FLOWER IN THE EYE OF THE STORM
although you know they held affection for you, the boys you’ve attracted in your life have made one thing clear: they see you as an object of desire, and you unintentionally play the part well. if you were going to make their wet dreams come true, then you ought to derive pleasure from it as well without shame.
but with jungkook, the tables have turned. you wore the same lipstick from last time to rile him up on purpose, but instead you’re the one stuck trying to recall a time you were this putty in somebody’s hands. you’re not in control— you expect this thought would make you spiral, but it doesn’t.
you stumble inside your apartment making out with your boyfriend and you have an orange azalea tucked behind your ear. his hand is in your mess of a hair and it protects your head from the impact of the wall as your back collides with it. you don’t know if it was on purpose or not but your heart flutters nonetheless. this is sickeningly romantic and you want to drown yourself in it.
“oh, feels good.” his mouth on your neck is addictive, you imagine it would be heavenly on more vulnerable parts of you. your nails harshly dig into his shoulder as he takes his time with every lick, every nip of his teeth— eager to learn more about your body and what makes it weak at the knees.
you tug at his hair with a whisper. “jungkook…”
“mhm? yes, baby?”
you thought you’ve seen and felt enough. you know about lust, but never felt a chemistry this electrifying. there’s an emotion screaming beneath the daze in jungkook’s eyes; it’s always been there, but not this loud. you think if you trust your gut and open yourself up… you might just come to gain an understanding of it.
you bite your bottom lip, behind it a shadow of a smile. “bedroom.”
his restless hands slide down to hook around your thighs, and not long after, your legs are wrapped around his waist as he navigates your apartment blinded by the mutual refusal of your lips to disconnect. you giggle every time he bumps into something and groans. with his fear of accidentally letting you fall felt through his tight grip, you’re the one who kicks the bedroom shut. the sound couldn’t have been louder than the pounding of your heart reaching your own ears.
jungkook is gentle as he lays you down on the bed, but your lack of inhibitions reign over you. you begin unbuttoning his shirt, unconsciously grinding your heat against his thigh as you do so. it catches him by surprise, but then his strong hands find purchase on your waist, and you know he wants this as much as you do.
the kiss is broken up by a moan when his grip falls to your hips, guiding your wild movements in chasing pleasure with a tenderness and sensuality that transforms you into a feverish mess. another gush of arousal ruins your underwear worse. you kiss him again and eventually you lose count of the buttons— patience runs thin and with adrenaline rushing through your veins, you tear his shirt apart.
he hisses. “baby, shit- what did y-”
“shhh,” you place an index finger over his lips.
he chuckles raspily, shaking his head in disbelief. your giggles join him, equally amused with yourself.
it’s still for a few seconds, but you can hear each other breathe in the dark. you’ve seen him naked but his silhouette alone stirs the fuel spreading throughout your body. he’s perfect. your lips reclaim the place of your finger. your hands caress every inch of his skin, every curve of his flesh they can reach. he doesn’t make an effort to hold his noises and it turns you on more, if that is even possible at this point. his muscles continue to tense under your touches, even worse when you find his nipples to tease and play with. he’s perfect.
“it’s my turn.” he tries to say in the middle of the kiss, but you don’t hear a thing until he’s pulling away breathless and you’re whining in disappointment. “let me return the flavor please? i’ve been going crazy thinking about it. fuck, please.”
you sit up on the bed, pushing his naked chest challengingly. “what? you want to eat me out?“
he swallows, wide scandalized eyes failing to escape your keen observation. “i do.”
you watch him watch you strip off your sweater, “really…?” and then unclasp your bra, allowing its straps to provocatively slide down your shoulders.
“ye-yes, really.”
“then what’s stopping you?”
he whines out your name, interrupting himself with his craving for another kiss as he slips off your bra completely. it gets lost on the floor along with your sweater and you smirk deviously against his lips. “you’re testing me like this, huh? you’re so mean.”
you lie on your bed but you feel like you’re on top of the world. jungkook scatters kisses from your neck down to your chest, occasionally licking and biting as if he can’t help but to taste you. he uncovers another ticklish spot along your ribcage, but you bite your lip to control your giggles. instead, you touch his face to subtly guide him away from it.
he nuzzles his cheek against your palm, eyelids fluttering close as he presses a soft kiss to your wrist.
“may i?”
the shape of his lips lingers there. no one has ever kissed your wrist, nor have you ever imagined the first time to take place in bed.
your thumb strokes his cheek tenderly. the silence that follows there after concerns jungkook. he calls out your name, snapping you out of deep thought.
“may i?” he repeats himself.
he is patiently suspended over the waistband of your skirt. ever the gentleman, you half-smile.
“will you fuck me good after?”
the hand on his face sneaks down to pull up the skirt over your stomach; an even tinier piece of fabric covers the most intimate part of your body.
“whatever you want, baby, i will do it.” he promises.
you can hear the smirk in his voice, but you’re unable to form another response as his tongue laves over the lace, the warmth and wetness saturating through and stimulating your clit— once, slowly, and then over and over again.
you gasp, jolting and squirming in pleasure. he only makes it worse when he hums and you feel the vibration against you. you whine and he squeezes the soft flesh of your inner thighs in an attempt soothe you, keep you still, nuzzling his cheek as he meets your heated gaze.
“relax… is my baby always this sensitive?” he places a chaste kiss over your clit, causing your breath to hitch. “‘cause i’ve barely started.”
“jungkook,” you impatiently whine. “why’d you stop? just do it, please- need you.”
you’d wipe off that stupid smirk on his face if only you weren’t so pent up and you didn’t need his tongue.
“wow… didn’t think you’re the type to beg.” he muses, more so talking to himself. “i like it.”
hell no, you’re not.
but finally, he dives in, greedily pulling aside the flimsy material for a real taste of you. instead of a sharp remark, erotic sounds between a moan and a sob emit from your lips. your toes curl at the surge of mind-numbing ecstasy overwhelming your body. your hands fisting the sheets fly to his hair, frantically tugging like you can’t take it, but you beg and beg and beg him for more.
the last time you had sex was more than four months ago. you realized that you liked jungkook, and you simply didn’t want to do it with anybody else. sexual frustration combined with the romantic pining for a man that could potentially ruin your life; your youth has been nothing short of eventful.
has sex always been this good? you can’t remember. you’re drunk on pleasure even in the aftermath; you’re not sure if you’re really here or floating someplace else. as you catch your breath, jungkook soothes your body with gentle kisses and strokes of your skin, whispering sweet nothings. mostly babbling about how beautiful you are. and you feel it— feel beautiful, you mean.
you gradually open your eyes, vision adjusting to the divine view infront of you. jungkook is golden, skin still glistening with sweat under the warm glow of the lampshade. your heart skips a beat when he smiles at you.
“are you good? do you need anything? water?”
“again.”
his eyes widens. “again?“
“round two.” you giggle.
you push yourself up to reach his lips, but the kiss ends too soon for your liking.
“jungkook-” you complain.
“wait!”
you stare in bewilderment as he bends down from the edge of bed, appearing to be reaching for one of the objects discarded on the floor.
“what is it?”
“i found it!”
it’s the flower.
beaming with a hue of pure excitement, he tucks the azalea behind your ear for the second time tonight. pretty, he says it so quietly that you only understand through the movement of his lips.
he looks bewitched by you. in a different setting you’d be smug about it, but at this moment, you don’t understand. you can’t read what’s on his mind. if only you could see yourself through his eyes, even for just a moment, then maybe you’d understand why he’s dancing with fire and folding with his tower of cards.
it would be too silly and embarrassing to start crying now, right?
you swallow the lump in your throat, glassy eyes overshadowed by your boyfriend leaning in to plant a kiss on your forehead. as if that isn’t enough to entirely melt your heart, he intertwines his fingers with yours. your walls come crumbling down. in a haste to forbid your emotions from breaking free, you reach for him and slip your tongue in his mouth for a fervent kiss.
the burning tears that drip down to your temples are lost evidence you will bring to the grave.
“you’re not supposed to be awake.” jungkook complains as soon as he opens the door.
you only spare him a glance before returning to your task. instead of being under the sheets, you’re sat on the floor with his button-up shirt from last night laid across your lap. only several steps closer and he realizes that you’re sewing.
he exhales through his mouth in surprise, setting aside the tray of food on the bed before joining you on the floor.
“baby, what are you doing?! it’s fine. you don’t need to fix it.”
“i know, but i want to.” you reply, smiling, eyes still swollen from sleep focused on the needle and thread. “i stepped on one of the buttons so i looked for the two other.”
he’s dumbfounded watching you sew with so much care and precision. oh my god, he is in love with you. he thinks it so loud he gets terrified that he might’ve ended up speaking it out loud too.
“at least eat first!”
“wow, where did you buy ingredients so early?”
“early?” he scratches his head. “it’s lunch time.”
“what?!” your eyes grow twice their size. “jungkook, i’m late for work! what didn’t you wake me up?!”
“you- you we- you were tired!” he stutters defending himself.
he awkwardly catches his shirt when you throw it aside in a rush to get to the bathroom.
“baby, what about your food?!” he yells.
“wait, i forgot my towel-” you pop out from the doorframe, beaming at him breathlessly. “oh, please pack the food in my lunchbox!”
VI. SPEAKING TRUTHFULLY, YOU’RE THE ONE FOR ME
“i missed you.”
you giggle. “you look drunk.”
you hold jungkook’s cheeks in the palm of your hands, and he revels in the comforting warmth radiating from them.
he closes his eyes with a toothy grin. “i’m exhausted.”
“then go to sleep!”
“i don’t want to!”
he opens one eye, peeking at you.
“i came here so you won’t have to tire yourself out more going to my place.” you pout. “why do you hate resting?”
“this is me resting,” he says as a matter of fact, leaning down to give your lips a peck. “you are my rest.”
while it may be true that his body is begging for sleep, his mind is willing him to stay awake for as long as he can. he likes that he has nothing to prove here; he can simply be. you’re softly tracing his skin, forming constellations from the moles on his face, and he knows they’re created out of pure wonder and love.
“this one’s so cute!” you gush. “nobody talks about it enough.”
you place an affectionate kiss on the mole at the bridge of his nose.
“maybe because nobody has noticed it but you.”
you roll your eyes. “as if i’m the only one who spends their free time looking at your face.”
“but you’re the one who can view me in the highest quality.” he brings his face a little closer to tease you; noses almost brushing. “no one else can have me this close.”
“that’s right. or else you will never have me this close again.”
you squint your eyes at him as a threat; a frown making a permanent residence on your lips. fuck, when is he not thinking about kissing you?
“aigoo, look at you sulking!” he exclaims with a laugh.
“i’m not!”
“okay, whatever you say.” he replies in a sing-song voice.
it’s silent for a few beats as he engulfs you in his embrace. he feels like he’s being recharged, and with that comes along the overdue acknowledgement of his exhaustion. he meant it when he said that you are his rest.
“you know, i can’t help but to wonder sometimes.”
there is an undertone of hesitance in the way you spoke which is not typical of you. this prompts him to draw back a little, just enough to get a good look of your face.
“wonder about?”
“i’m not trying to put myself down or anything like that, by the way. i’m not expecting you to say the right thing or whatever either. i’m just-”
you pause, teeth nervously biting your lip. his heart aches in an instant when you avoid his eyes.
“i’m just genuinely curious? and saying what’s on my mind.”
“what is it?” he juts out his bottom lip. “you’re scaring me.”
“it’s not a big deal!”
“go on then. i’m listening.”
“i mean, i know i’m a catch, and- and i have a lot to offer, and i’m special in my own way. but you have a lot of…” you blink, trying to find the right term. “options.”
the word alone causes distaste to morph in his facial expression.
“okay, okay, i know! ugh, i don’t know how else to say it. but you have these beautiful and amazing people throwing themselves at you and sometimes i’m flabbergasted that you actively reject them for me.”
“baby, what are you even saying-”
“i’m serious. there are girls i would’ve totally gone for!”
“but they’re not you!”
he tilts your chin, smiling when at last, he recaptures your wide-eyed gaze.
“it’s really as simple as that.”
“but when we weren’t official yet-”
“i liked you from the start, if i didn’t make that obvious enough.”
you scrunch your cute nose; a smile of pure giddiness starting to form on your face. “you did… i knew.”
“i can’t believe you’re thinking about things like that. i only have eyes for you, baby. do you remember the first fight we had, huh? remember how i got drunk and cried?”
he doesn’t particularly like to relive the trauma and consequences of receiving unsolicited… almost naked… photos of an acquaintance while he’s watching a silly youtube video on his phone with his significant other. anything can be fixed in a relationship if both parties exert the effort, but trust, it is almost impossible to rebuild.
she didn’t know he was, is, in a relationship. in general, no one outside his inner circle really expects him to be in a relationship, or at least be in one that is serious or long-term. because, well, where would he find the time and energy for that kind of stuff?
but keeping you as a secret was his way of protecting you, and if you were hurting because of that, you didn’t show it.
oh, but that doesn’t mean you weren’t mad.
you needed some time to clear your head, you said. ignored his texts and phone calls; shooed him away when he begged at your front door. that issue may already been resolved, but he’s still not done proving that he’s solely committed to you.
you’re one of the most important people in his life. he loves you and he tends to get worried that you will never know much.
you gasp, hitting his chest. “when did that happen?!”
“why are you shocked…?” he narrows his eyes. “you didn’t know?”
“how would i know?”
he scratches his head in confusion. he should probably stop talking at this point and not dig his own grave, but his honesty leads him on. “…didn’t taehyungie-hyung send you a video? or did i make that up in my head?”
he immediately regrets it when the sparkle of mischief appears in your eyes.
“he’s still awake, right?”
“actually, he sleeps early nowadays!”
you wiggle out of his embrace, playfully sticking out your tongue at him. “i’ll go get the copy from him right now.”
“it was so long ago. it’s probably deleted by now!”
“wouldn’t hurt to check.”
“baby, no! it’s embarrassing!” he attempts to pull you back, but his hands barely reach you. “let’s just go to sleep, hm? didn’t you come here to put me to sleep?”
“aw, my love…”
he melts when you gingerly stroke his hair too. he will never live it down if his friends witnessed you babying him and him loving it.
“just close your eyes.”
and with your hand obstructing his vision, he sees pitch black and floating spots and flecks.
“i’ll be back in a minute! mwah!”
but despite his sense of sight being taken away, he still feels you spring off the mattress. the weight of your feet against the floor resonates along with the shout of your name as he follows you out of his bedroom.
you squeal in panic when you realize that you’re being chased. “go back to bed!”
“i won’t unless you go back with me!”
this is one of the instances in which jungkook is grateful for his gifts of athletic prowess and long limbs.
with little to no effort, he overtakes you in the race towards taehyung’s bedroom. doe eyes akin to a deer caught in the headlights, he swings the door open.
taehyung’s eyes flicker up from his phone. he’s frankly not surprised about the intrusion, not after hearing the commotion outside.
“need anything?”
“all the videos you have of him drunk!”
“hyung, no! you can’t give it!”
VII. THE CHOICE TO STAY
“give it to me.”
the blanket that jungkook carried from the bedroom is snatched away from his hands. it becomes unfurled and thrown over to shield your shivering vessel from the cold. without a word, he crawls on the couch and under the blanket, hugging you from behind as you catch up on your ongoing tv shows.
relief… he’s been looking forward to this all day.
the tension in his muscles, from head to toe, begin to fade away, especially as you take his hand in yours so you can give it a chaste kiss. it’s quick, but long enough for him to feel the softness of your lips. his hug tightens. he remains silent as he inhales, and exhales, slow and calm. he’s not trying to fall asleep as much as trying to shut down his brain. they say the world has stopped but from his point of view, it has erupted into chaos and he has no other choice but to watch it fall apart and to attempt to rebuild it at the same time. god knows he is doing the best he can but it feels like his best will never not be lacking.
jungkook is scared, and he is more scared knowing that everyone else is too. but for the past two years, whether you’re whole or broken, whether he’s climbing or falling— it never made a difference. you’ve always stayed.
he finds comfort in knowing that he has this constant among the ominous unknown.
his little firefly; your light won’t go out even as the world lets out its final sigh.
“my love, why are you sad?”
you flipped to your other side when another commercial break rolled in; now you’re hovering over him, curious eyes studying every inch of his face.
“is my love hurt anywhere?” you coo. “where should i kiss?”
his body shakes with quiet laughter as you pepper his face with kisses, trailing down to his jaw until you reach the juncture between his neck and shoulder.
“or do you want a massage? here? know you had a looong day.”
“really? how’d you know?”
“yeah, ‘cause you haven’t showered. you’re all stinky.”
“oh, am i?” he playfully pinches your waist, which you react to with a drawn out whine. “and yet you’re still cuddling with me.”
“so? do you need my massage therapy services or not?!”
“no. i only need my lover, please.” he pleads with droopy eyelids, emphasizing his request by tangling his limbs with yours.
he can’t hide from you like he hides from himself. you’re much more gentler with his heart than he is; unconciously, he trusts you more with it.
“you have me. what’s wrong?”
your hands anchored on the sofa are swept away as he pulls you closer, your weight crashing down on him entirely. he nuzzles his face in the crook of your neck, breathing in your natural scent and the lavender in your body wash.
“eh, it’s just work… everything that could go wrong is going wrong. we’re trying to figure things out, but what can we do really…? there’s nothing. i- this-this whole thing is just so fucking frustrating, baby. i’m sorry.”
“it’s not just work! it’s your reason for living. of course this is frustrating and painful for you. it’s understandable to feel that way.”
he can practically hear you pouting. he is proven right when you lift your head, leaning in to give him a kiss. he smiles against your lips. he loves you so much.
“so please don’t burn yourself out trying to be okay. you have me by your side who can help you carry your burdens.”
it was scary at the beginning, but now it only feels right. it is impossible not to love you with all of his heart and soul; you deserve nothing less and more than what he can give. when you hug him, he hugs you back tighter.
“you’re my reason to live too.”
“i shouldn’t be. what if i die before you?”
“yah, don’t says things like that!” he scolds you faster than he can think, eyebrows knitted together and frown a tad deeper. “you won’t. it won’t happen.”
“i will die eventually.” you grimace.
“please don’t say such things as ‘i want you to move on and meet someone else and fall in love again and remarry.’ i don’t want to hear it!” he rambles so fast that he doesn’t even understand himself, stumbling and lisping. “i will seriously cry!”
“oh, i don’t care for things like that.”
you make yourself more comfortable; your boyfriend as your own personal bed. sleeping on top of him has been a natural occurence these days, not that he minds. you’re so soft and warm. it’s like hugging a stuffed toy to sleep. still, he’s mindful of you falling off the couch again.
“do whatever you like.” your eyes meet as you bestow him with a smile. “i’ll be dead; i won’t even know what happens next.”
“you don’t care? huh…” he huffs over the hypothetical.
the mere consideration of it feels like cheating. he knows that it technically isn’t, but he can’t imagine spending the rest of his life with someone who isn’t you. nevertheless, if he was being honest and it was the other way around, he’d probably do tell you to leave your heart open. but the topic is not the other way around and jungkook’s heart is stubbornly bound to you.
“why am i getting upset?”
“i don’t care because i’m confident.” you say candidly. “you can fall in love with someone else, but no one will ever love you the way that i do.”
ah, and here comes a side of you that he knows and loves. he swears that cupid is in the room and his heart was just hit by another one of his arrows. it feels so good to be loved so fearlessly.
“i know, so why even bother?” he arrives at a conclusion to his defense, but there’s a much better solution. “please never ever leave me so i won’t have to deal with this dilemma.”
he catches you roll your eyes before he comes face-to-face with the back of your head. your cheek rests on top of his chest; he feels it above his beating heart.
“what then? are we supposed to die together?”
he hums in thought. “it’s not a totally bad idea. we live together, so wouldn’t that make sense too?”
“wow, very shakespearean of you.”
“oh, that’s right! see? isn’t this your type of thing? let’s do it!”
“oh my god, you’re so stupid.” you hide your face behind your hand, giggling in disbelief of the sharp turn this conversation took.
jungkook loves making you laugh. for a little while, he forgets everything else. the world outside may be terrifying but you have your own in your shared apartment. you’re his reason to live too. you ignite the life in his veins. you kiss him with an appetite for passion and love and he enters heaven on earth.
“thank you.” you mumble against his lips.
“thank you?”
“for loving me, for living with me…” your voice wavers and his heart drops to his stomach. he can hold back his tears, but never when he sees yours flowing. “even when you’re tired and having a hard time.”
“you make it sound like a chore, but the truth is loving you gives me the strength to work hard everyday. you do know that, right? baby?” he strokes your hair tenderly, hoping that you receive his sincerity. “i should be the one thanking you… i should say it more often. you didn’t give up on loving me even when it was hurting you.”
“it’s all in the past… you were hurting too.” you reply in a faint whisper. “i love you.”
cupid must owe him a tremendous favor to have granted him the purest form of love a human being could have.
he plants a kiss on your forehead, noticing the rise of your shoulders. an endearing thing they occasionally do when you’re happy, shy, or flattered. it’s one of the many things he learned about you since you started living under the same roof.
he’s been learning about himself too. he tried saving you from himself but this fact is now well-established— you are the sun; it only hurts him to push you away because you’re in everything. it’s the little things that will haunt him if lost. when pieced together, they declare that you love him and he loves you.
the words i’m going home have gained more meaning and he’s excited to say them at the end of each day. he talks about his day and you talk about yours. you find out he’s the reason your lotion ran out too fast again and you chase him around the apartment until he promises to buy you the biggest bottle. you play rock-paper-scissors to figure out who will wash the dishes or receive the food from the delivery guy. you watch too many cooking videos on his phone until one of you falls asleep. most of the time it’s you. tonight, it’s still you.
he must confess that up to this day, he admires you when you sleep. you are safe and sound, and he is mended in places he did not know existed.
it’s time to sleep, he also decides.
he cocoons you in the blanket, then provides another layer of warmth which is his body. once settled, he closes his eyes, sighing in contentment. “what’s the use of our giant bed if we keep on sleeping on the couch?”
(?). AN ETERNAL RECORD: MY TREASURE, MY LOVE (ARCHIVED)
[DEC 25 ‘17 02:12AM]
“is it rolling?”
“yes, it’s rolling.”
you excitedly look at the film camera from the thick pile of snow on the ground, moving your arms up and down and your legs from side to side. an attempt to create a snow angel.
your giggles and the crackles of the snow are heard through the speaker.
the lens zoom in on your face.
childlike joy in the form of an everlasting smile and snowflakes on your hair.
“am i doing it?!”
“you are!”
“really?”
“really!”
“is it pretty?”
your face comes out of the frame. for a second only the white snow is seen, and then the dark brown of your coat as you skip towards the camera.
“let me watch!”
the camera shakes before it pans to the ground.
rustling of clothes and a shy, panicked voice.
“hold on- i-i’ll just fix the…”
“why?”
“huh, what do i do?” a forced laugh to mask nervousness. “i think it didn’t save-”
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distributormesinro · 2 years
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no-144444 · 14 days
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the break up of the century - (l.norris, no 4)
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pairing: lando norris (no.4) x fem! singer! reader
summary: you and lando break up on horrible terms, can a new album and a special performance bring you back together? is that even what you two want?
7.6k + words, brief fade-to-black smut, fluff, mainly angst :)
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You weren’t sure how it happened, one moment you were on stage, the next, you were crying in your dressing room, hating every single thing about your life. Funny how one moment leads into the next, right? 
Y/n Y/l/n. Household name at the age of 19. Now, 23. Fans impatiently awaiting your next album, the album you hated, and now on a world tour that is sucking the life from your body. 
Sounds like you have it all. 
The money, the fame, the clothes, the boys, the voice. It’s all you’ve ever dreamed of. And now it means nothing, because you have it. And it’s nowhere near as good as you wanted it to be.
You’d always been told of the horror stories of fame taking more than it gave, and you always brushed it off with a smile and a ‘that’ll never happen to me’. Low and behold, you’ve had 4 stalkers in 2 years, 3 lawsuits against you from old record companies that dropped you, 2 grammys, and 1 ridiculously public break-up with he-who-shall-not-be-named. 
Having it all really means having too much to think about, and too much to deal with. You would’ve preferred to just go to university like all your friends. Be young. Make mistakes. But those were luxuries you took for granted, and now you’re paying the price. 
“Y/n?” Sasha, your manager called from outside. “We have the meet and greet.”
And then there was your fans. They were great, obviously, but they were also very hyper teenagers and young adults that paid a lot of money to see you, and it made you feel even worse about not being 100%. At least you’d cut ticket prices down by 50% in meetings, meaning they were much cheaper than any other artist at the moment. At least you could do that for your fans. 
You nodded, sniffling as you wiped your eyes on the sleeve of your dress. 
“Do you need your makeup touched up?”
“Yes,” you answered, voice hoarse. “How many more shows?” 
“This was your 97th. You have 53 left.”
“Fuck!” You groaned. “Fuck this.”
“You have the British Gran Prix tomorrow, you have to make an appearance, alright? I’m sending Maria in to fix your makeup,” Sasha was trying to pity you, but she also had a job to do, which you understood. 
“Thanks Sash,” you sighed as Maria came in. 
“Hey babe,” she smiled softly, sympathy and pity shown in her eyes. 
“Hi,” you sniffled, wiping your last tear away. 
“Let’s get you fixed up, yeah?” She started unpacking her bag with all your makeup as you nodded, turning to face her. “You’re amazing. You were so pretty tonight.”
You somehow didn’t scoff in her face. “Thanks.”
“I know you don’t believe me,” she sighed. “I can’t even understand why. You’re the most beautiful girl in the world.”
You hiccupped, the tears threatening to pour again as you thought about him. 
“You’re the most beautiful girl in the world.”
Stop thinking about him. You told yourself. He’s in the past.
But he wasn’t in the past, how could he be when he was always on your fucking feed with his new girlfriend. Allison and Lando, what a beautiful couple. More like a bunch of crap. They weren’t real, everyone knew it was just pr, especially considering that she was promoting her new racing movie. You had no idea why they even tried to keep up the charade. They didn’t even look good together. 
Alas, they were together, and you weren’t anymore. 
And you were going to be reminded of it every single second of the next day. 
----------------
You pressed your entry card to the barrier and walked through as cameras flashed and you smiled one of your best fake smiles.
“Y/n!” Oscar smiled, walking up and hugging you. You knew everyone, and you started to feel embarrassed about everything. This was his workplace, and you had to be here to do press and sing a song you didn’t want to sing.
Bullshit.
“Hey Osc,” you smiled, hugging him back. 
“You look so wonderful today,” he smiled, taking your hand instead. He led you to the McLaren paddock as you two chatted about tour and races. You asked about Miami, and Oscar answered. “It was the best day of his life- his words!” 
“Meeting you was the best day of my life. That’ll never change.”
Oh. I guess it changed. 
“How's the tour? It looks amazing!” He cheered as you two entered the paddock. Mechanics and engineers greeting and hugging you as you went through and lied about how ‘amazing’ the tour is. 
“Y/n!” Zak cheered. “My favourite girl!”
He pulled you into a bone-crushing hug, and you hugged back. It felt good to be back, and to still have so many people still like you. “Hi Zak.”
“I missed you so much! Please tell me that awful Allison girl is gone and you and Lan are back? She’s driving me crazy,” he scoffed.
“No, I’m just here to do some press with Ferrari,” you chuckled. “But I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to come see my favourite CEO.”
He sighed but nodded, knowing that Lando had the board cut you off the ‘influencer list’ when you two broke up. “Well, once you know that you’re my favourite.”
“You’re my favourite too,” you smiled. “Don’t tell anyone.”
“Lips are sealed,” he smiled and moved on, going about his various duties. For a moment you looked around the paddock you had known so well and felt your heart ache a little. You loved Lando, you still loved Lando. You loved McLaren, and you loved the people here, yet you didn’t get to see them anymore because of the stupid fucking tour. This tour was ruining your life. You didn’t talk to family, or friends, you and Lando had broken up, you weren’t eating or sleeping, you always felt sick, you were rarely allowed to speak during the day so you could ‘conserve’ your voice for shows. 
But the worst part was that nobody noticed. 
“He's right y’know,” Oscar  smiled. “We all miss you. Even Lando.”
“Lando is with Allison. He has no reason to miss me.”
Oscar raised an eyebrow. “All they do is fight.”
“So? That’s what Lando and I did for weeks.”
“But it was different. You two were in a bad situation, but you loved each other, so the fights meant something. Allison and Lan are just wrong for each other, they’re fighting to fight.”
You groaned, sitting on the bench and resting your head in your hands. “When did you become a philosopher?”
Oscar laughed, and placed a hand on your back. “I’ve always been this philosophical, you were just too busy to notice.” 
“Shut up,” you chuckled, pushing him off. 
“All I’m saying is that you should talk to him, that’s all,” he shrugged, walking away from you and further into the paddock. 
“Y/n.”
Your head snapped up, so hard it hurt. There he was. Lando. For the first time in months. With Allison. And a dog.
Oh. 
“Hi,” you smiled, standing up. It was a puppy, a jack-russell terrier, the kind you’d always wanted. The kind like your childhood dog. Great, now they stole your dog breed. “Nice to see you.”
“I didn’t know you would be here,” he said bluntly. “What are you doing here?”
“Press for Ferrari. Oscar just… brought me in to say hi to everyone. So, hi. And now I’ll take my leave,” you smiled, then started to try and walk off. But Allison clearly had other plans, since she stuck out her hand for a ‘handshake’ that conveniently stopped you from walking off. 
“Allison,” she smirked. “And this is Mila.”
You stared blankly at Lando for a moment. Seriously? He’d taken the dog breed and what you’d agreed to be the name of your first child? Give me a break. 
“Y/n,” you shook her hand. “And I have to go, bye and good luck today.”
Thank god Ferrari was on the other side of the fucking track. 
“Y/n!” Charles cheered, hugging you close. You’d been getting closer with Charles since your split with Lando and his split with his ex had happened within a week of each other. “How are you?”
You took a deep breath. “I’m fine, tired.”
“I have been seeing the tour, it looks great!” he smiled, pulling back. 
“Thanks Charles, it was amazing to see you, but I better go. I have to-”
“Sing the new song? Yes! I can't wait,” he cheered. You mustered up a small smile, and left him alone. 
----------------
Sasha came and found you in the bathroom an hour later. “Y/n?” She was frantic, and stressed, so you just decided to give up and show yourself. 
“Yeah?”
“It’s time, come on,” she sighed. “I know this is hard-”
“How could you know it’s fucking hard? My entire life is in shambles and I’m supposed to be happy about it because I’m a ‘superstar’ what the fuck does that even mean? My boyfriend broke up with me because of this tour, and I thought I was going to marry him. Isn’t that insane? Isn’t that fucking crazy? And the worst part is, that I can’t even stop if I want to. I’m not allowed to stop. Sasha, how could you ever understand how hard this is for me? I’m 22. I should be in college, having fun. But instead I’m about to sing a song I don’t like or care about, in my ex-boyfriends workplace. Does that sound like fun to you, Sasha?” 
Her face was blank, stoic, unmoving. “Let’s go, you have soundcheck.”
You just followed her. Sasha was good at that, good at making you feel small, making you feel like a nuisance. The stage was big, bigger than most of your stadiums, but you didn’t care. You just had to get through it. 
“Have you eaten?”
“Feel sick,” you replied. “No thanks.”
Sasha sighed. “You’re going to faint one day.”
“Let’s hope I never wake up,” you replied dryly. Sasha scoffed and walked on, showing you the layout of the stage. You followed and asked questions, getting into ‘work mode’, and warming up your voice as you went along. A small crowd of the driver’s was gathering, even Lando was standing there, front row, just like he used to. 
You wanted to punch him, in all honesty. How could someone do that? He had no fucking right to stand there and watch you sing. He should be with Allison. 
“Start when you’re ready,” Sasha called and you nodded. 
The music started, and you were off. When the music started, you became someone else. You were moving around, laughing with your band, smiling. It was nice. Even if you hated the tour, you felt free on stage. Even if the song was sad. 
‘Champagne problems’, you’d written it right after your break up with Lando, it was new, and it had just been released. It had become the top of the charts in 15 countries. It would be on your next album, 
‘What if it doesn’t get easier like everybody says?’, and it was your most raw album. It was clearly all about your break up with Lando, there was no denying that. 
The song ended and the entire track clapped. You stopped moving when you spotted Lando’s parents, and you realised very quickly that you had to get out of there. 
You ran to the Ferrari hospitality, did some promos for your next album with them, and suddenly it was time to sing for real. The stands were full, the microphone was on, and the spotlight was on you. 
“Hi everyone,” you smiled, and the crowd erupted in cheering. “How are we feeling today?”
You had worn a short red dress, for Ferrari, and it was sparkling in the late afternoon sunshine. Everyone could see how beautiful you looked. Your hair perfectly styled, your makeup flawless, your beautiful face. 
Lando was entranced. 
You started singing and you sounded like an angel, truely. Lando had always thought you sounded otherworldly. He knew it was about him. He knew he’d fucked up. He knew he missed you. He knew it was too late, and that was the worst part. 
“Thank you so much for coming out and listening to my dumb sad song,” you chuckled as the crowd cheered. “But I have something else for you,” you were cut off by excited fans. I have something just a little bit happier, it’s called ‘Lover’. Please enjoy!”
Lando watched you as you danced around the stage, and he felt something dark growing in his stomach. You weren’t talking about him. It was someone new. You were seeing someone new. 
You couldn’t be seeing someone new, you’d been in a new city every few days. You couldn’t make it work with him, you were never on your phone, so it couldn’t be online. How did this happen?
You finished your song, and you left the stage. You fell into a chair and passed out. Maybe not eating was a bad idea? Probably. 
“Y/n,” Sasha shook you awake. “Someone’s here to see you.”
“I feel like shit-”
“We all do. Let’s go.”
And you followed. Because you had to. What else were you supposed to do but follow? Was this your life now? Taking orders and following them. 
“Now, you have to be nice to everyone, even Lando and Allison, alright?” she turned to you, stopping in front of the door. 
“I really don’t feel well,” you tried to protest. “Can I grab something to eat first?”
She rolled her eyes. “It’ll be 15 minutes, you’ll survive,” she sighed, opened the door, and pushed you into the room.
The drivers and their partners all cheered, happy to see you back in the paddock. 
“Y/n! I missed you so much!” Carmen immediately pulled you into a hug.
“I missed you too,” you smiled, even if it was forced. You needed to sit down, you needed a drink, and you needed to be alone. 
“Some pretty amazing songs!” George cheered, patting you on the back. 
“Thanks George,” you smiled. Soon you were all sitting on the various couches and chatting, even if you didn’t speak. Lando’s eyes were glued to his hands as Allison’s eyes were glued to you. She was practically sitting on him, on the verge of straddling him if you looked in their direction again. She didn’t know it, but you were looking at the door behind them, wondering when you’d be called. It had surpassed the 15 minute mark, and you felt yourself getting more and more faint as time went on. 
“Y/n?” Allison cut across Daniel chatting to you about your latest show in Manchester, remembering a story of the two of you when you were there, and telling it to the group. “How’s the tour going?”
You cleared your throat. “Well, thanks,” you smiled shyly. 
“So the rumours that you haven’t been performing to your full capabilities aren't true? Like I’ve heard you’ve been lip syncing,” she smirked as the rest of the drivers and wags just looked at her with disgust. Oscar rolled his eyes. He’d been sick of her for weeks, and he was usually quite good with people he didn’t like, but he hated her. So did Lily. 
You gulped. “I don’t lip sync, but obviously 97 shows in 113 days is quite a lot for my voice, so I don’t always sing my super vocally- challenging songs every night or else I’d have to go on vocal rest all the time,” you explained, feeling the change in energy in the room. 
“And that would just be horrible, right guys?” She turned to Lando with a smirk on her face, but he was just looking down, embarrassed by her. “I’m a huge fan of your music, how much of it is about Lando?-”
“What the fuck?” George stood up with Carmen by his side. “Allison, what is your problem with her?”
“It’s just a question!” Allison defended as Lando got up and left. She looked a lot less imposing with Lando gone. “He’s my boyfriend now!”
“Yeah, we wish he wasn’t,” Lewis said under his breath.
“Guys, it’s fine,” you just wanted to leave. “Some of my songs are, because I like to put my feelings into music, right? But not all of them, because my life doesn’t revolve around Lando, it never did. I am more than my relationships, and you’d do good to remember that for yourself. Don’t let love become who you are, it doesn’t end well.”
With that, you got up and left. You didn’t care anymore. You didn’t care if Sasha screamed at you, you didn’t care if they all came running after you. 
It was done. You and Lando were over. Was it your choice? No. Was it a choice you had to deal with? Yes. His choice. Yet, everyone had looked to you for answers. ‘What happened?’ ‘Was it going downhill?’ or your personal favourite; ‘Did he get bored?’.
You didn’t know. All you knew was that one moment, you were with him, and the next you weren’t. 
You ran to your dressing room and lay down, eating some random snacks you found. You felt better after eating, you felt-
Knock knock. 
“Come in!” You called, not caring much about who it was.
“Hi,” Lando’s voice was small and quiet. 
You sat up, staring at him. 
“Beautiful songs,” he smiled softly. “Missed hearing you sing.”
You nodded. “Good luck today.”
“Thanks,” he sighed. “I'm sorry about Allison, she’s the fucking worst.” 
You chuckled softly. “I’m sorry you’re dating her.”
He cracked a soft smile, then it fell. “Who’s the new lucky guy for you?” He watched as your face fell. 
“No… no new guy, just an old one I wrote back at the start of… us…” you trailed off. 
His heart was shattering, watching you be treated like this. Watching from afar as you lost your mind, lost your life, over a fucking tour. He saw the soulless look in your eyes, the dropped weight, the dampened smiles, all of it. He was shocked that other people couldn’t see it too. He’d regretted breaking up with you since the moment he did it. He was haunted by the way you begged him to stay, and he questioned how he’d ever said no to you. How was he so blind-sighted? How did he not see how much pressure you were under? How did he not see that he was what was keeping you above ground? 
“Oh,” he breathed out. 
You took a deep breath. “I’m releasing an album soon, and a lot of the songs are about our relationship,” you explained hesitantly. “I wanted to offer you a chance to listen to it before it goes out, just as a… heads-up? In case you’re worried about what’s on it.”
God, punching him square in the face would hurt less than watching you feel awkward around him. He cleared his throat. “Oh umm…yeah. I’d like that. Thank you.”
You nodded and got up, taking a cd out of your backpack. “Here you go. Sorry again, about… everything.” 
“I’m sorry too,” he nodded. “So, are you leaving now or…?”
“No, I’m holding the chequered flag today, so I’ll be up at race control,” you explained, trying to look anywhere other than him. “And I’m handing off the 1st place trophy.”
“Maybe I’ll be first to see you,” he chuckled. 
“Maybe,” you shrugged. 
“The tour looks… awful. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you,” he spoke after a minute’s silence. 
You just shrugged. “Not your fault,” you lied. 
He knew this was when he was meant to leave, but he wasn’t sure when you two would be in the same room again. He didn’t know when he’d see you again, so he took a moment to fully take you in. “You were really incredible today. You sounded like an-”
“Angel? Thanks Lando, see you soon,” you nodded, finishing the compliment you always used to get from him. He nodded and left, realising he had no more time. 
When the door closed you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. How could he do that? How could he stand there and be nice to you, after what he said that night? After what he fucking put you through?
----------------
Weeks of complaining from him, blaming you for his performance in races, telling you that you needed to be there for him, not calling you back, not texting back, not listening when you told him about how awful everything was going. 
“I’m sorry Lan, I know how hard this is. It’s hard for me too-”
“How the fuck can you say that? You’re the one who choose to do this, you fucking decided to tear us apart! This is all your fault, and you’re telling me it’s ‘hard’ for you. What is hard for you? Spending all your time with adoring fans? Being on stage and living your dreams? Being away from me?”
“Lan, you know better than anyone that I didn’t want this tour to happen,” you cried. Even then, even 48 shows in, you were being driven crazy. You were exhausted, you missed home, and you missed Lando. “I had no choice-”
“You had every fucking choice! And don’t give me that fucking bullshit about your label forcing you, we both know that’s a fucking lie!” he shouted. You hated it when he shouted, when anyone shouted. He had no fucking right to speak to you like that. You didn’t want this to happen, you had no say, you just had a contract and an incompetent lawyer to thank.
“I don’t know what you want me to say to that,” you shrugged, your voice breaking. “I love you, and I miss you. We can make this work Lan, I just need time to figure it out, alright? I just need time-”
“Yeah? Well I’ve given you all the time I have to give. We’re done, I bet I could find a million girls just like you, girls who would actually take my feelings into account before she made huge life decisions!” he scoffed.
“Lando, please don’t do this. I-I don’t know what- I- Lan please, I need you,” you pleaded. “I’m trying my best I swear-”
“Your best isn’t good enough.”
And he hung up.
----------------
The fallout of your relationship didn’t exactly go great either. A day later your feed was flooded with pictures of Lando out with someone else. One day later. 
What the fuck? Didn’t he care? Didn’t he love you?
Well, apparently not. 
----------------
Lando knew he wouldn’t see you again for months. This was his only fucking chance to speak to you, to see you, and instead, he stayed in his driver’s room listening to the heart-wrentching songs you’d written about him. God, if he thought ‘champagne problems’ was devastating, ‘cowboy like me’ was worse. It was a long album, almost 2 hours long. It spanned your entire relationship, starting out, your first date, your grammy win, his podiums, the hate you two got, the start of the fighting, the end of the relationship, and the after. It was awful reliving it from your perspective, especially since you had tried to tell him, and every time he’d pick a fight. 
“Lando?” Oscar’s voice came from outside his door. “Allison’s looking for you.”
“Tell her to piss off!”
“You can do that, mate,” he scoffed and walked off, into his own driver’s room. 
“Lan?” Her voice rang out, and he wanted to scream. He had put himself in this position, he knew it,  but it was still difficult to fully self-actualise his own shortcomings. 
“What?” he groaned, opening the door. 
“The other girls are excluding me,” she pouted. 
“I wonder why,” Lando rolled his eyes. “They love Y/n.”
Her face fell into a frown. “But you love me, so they should love me. They keep going off to find her and talk to her, and any time I try to tell them that I’m uncomfortable around her, they tell me not to come.”
“I don’t know what you want me to do,” he sighed. 
“Talk to their boyfriends, ask them to include me!”
“Babe, I have a fucking race today, please leave me alone,” he sighed. He pushed past her to walk to the paddock, knowing he just had to keep his head down and race today, he just had to do the one thing he was good at. 
“Well, what am I supposed to do for the rest of the day?” 
“I don’t know,” he grunted, and moved on. The garage was somehow too loud yet not loud enough to drown out the negative thoughts in his head. Recent months had been difficult. Races were taking more and more out of him, he was lonely, and if he wasn’t training or racing, he was looking at old photos of you or watching the tour. He could see how you deflated as you left the stage, how upset you looked going on stage. It was all a terrible reminder of how selfish he’d been. How hadn’t he seen it? Why didn’t he listen? 
He remembered telling Max what had happened. He’d gotten so angry, begging him to call you back and apologise. He’d been so blindsighted, he wouldn’t listen to Max. Why was Max always right?
“You good?” Oscar asked, a hand on his shoulder to drag him out of his thousand-yard stare. 
Lando sighed. “Good,” he lied, and it wasn’t convincing. Everyone knew what you were to him. You grounded him, you knew him, every single part of him. You loved him. “You?”
“Good. Y/n’s set was great earlier,” he offered a small smile. “At least you have a good break-up album, right?”
Lando cracked a small smile. Oscar was good at that, making him laugh when he was down. “Yeah, it feels great when it’s about you.”
Oscar chuckled. “Story for the grandkids,” he shrugged. “Don’t sweat it.”
Lando nodded. 
“Oh yeah,” Oscar added. “When you left, Allison asked Y/n what songs were about you, so just… expect that conversation with her, I guess? I’m not entirely sure what’ll happen-”
“What did Y/n say?”
Oscar swallowed. “Something like; ‘some of my songs are, ‘cause I like to put my emotions into music. But not all of them, because my life doesn’t revolve around Lando, it never did. I am more than my relationships, and you’d do good to remember that for yourself’.”
Lando nodded, and could tell by the look on Oscar’s face that he was holding something back. “That’s it?”
“‘Don’t let love become who you are, it doesn’t end well’,” Oscar finished. “Then she left.”
Lando nodded as the weight on his chest got heavier. “Thanks for letting me know.”
“Of course,” Oscar offered a pity-smile and walked off to his side of the garage. 
Lando was always a person to be stuck inside his own head. He wasn’t good at expressing his feelings. He didn’t know how to talk about them. Yet, you always knew how to get him to talk. You always had the right solution, the right thing to say, the right face to make. He was in awe of you, so effortlessly perfect. 
He remembered back to Greece, back in the off-season, before the tour, before the season started. Before he fucked everything up. 
----------------
You smiled as he pulled you closer. The air was anything but cold, and the water was still. There you two sat, sitting on the bow of the as the sun set. The clear water beneath the yacht you’d been on for the past few days was calm and steady, lulling you both into an unmistakable tiredness. Yte, Lando wanted to stay up, wanting to soak up as much time with you as he could. He was going to miss you so much this season. You hadn’t ever been to every race in a season, you were a busy person, he understood that. He was a busy person too. But you’d go to as many races as possible. Now, ‘as many races as possible’ means about 4. Stupid tour. 
“What are you thinking about?” you asked, your eyes closed as you soaked in the moment. You leant against his chest as you lay in his arms, your favourite place to be. 
“How much I’ll miss you this year,” he admitted. There was never any point in lying to you, you always knew. 
You pressed a kiss to his arm. “I’ll miss you too.”
You were straight forward with things, he loved that. It was a bad situation. You were off to a tour you didn’t want to do, and he was off to another season. 
“I love you,” he confessed. He said it a lot, but it always felt special. He made you feel special. You made him feel special.
“I love you,” you opened your eyes, a smile on your lips. You spoke again after a few moments of silence. “You’re going to win a race this season, I can tell.”
He chuckled. “Once I get back home to you, I don’t care if I win.”
You laughed. “Sure, we all believe you.”
He smiled. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
You looked at him for a moment, that perfect, soft smile on your face. “Ditto,” you laughed as he did too. Your laugh was melodic, his favourite sound. 
“Who says ‘ditto’ to that?!” he laughed.
“I do,” you chuckled. 
You two locked eyes for a moment, then he leant down and pressed his lips to yours, soft and sweet. 
The perfect night. 
----------------
He caught a glance of your red dress walking into the garage. 
“Y/n!” The engineers cheered. He heard your laughter. 
The room was a collection of cheers and conversation, and he wanted more than anything to be able to walk over to you and hold you, and kiss you, and tell everyone to leave you alone because you were his girlfriend, not theirs. 
You walked in with a smile on your face. That smile dropped in half a second. Everyone was talking, everyone was patting you on the back, everyone was looking at you. You caught a glance of Lando and immediately felt the pit in your stomach grow. Everyone knew everything, everyone looked at you. Everyone blamed you. Oscar wrapped his arm around you and walked you through the garage as he saw you getting overwhelmed. He’d learnt the signs from his little sisters. Blown out pupils, teary eyes, tight features, heavy breathing. Oscar had always been a great friend to you, he’d always cared for you. He brought you through, doing most of the talking if anyone stopped you two and let you in his driver’s room, promising to grab you when you could leave without being bombarded by crew, or the press. 
Lando followed behind after a few minutes, then knocked on the door. He knew how to calm you down, he was probably the only person who did. 
Oscar opened the door looking panicked. “She’s having a panic attack,” he whispered. 
Lando nodded and walked in, taking your hand in his as you hid your face in your other hand. He knelt beside you on the floor as you sat on the bed. “It’s me baby, I’m right here. Come on, squeeze my hand,” he said, voice steady. You didn’t. “You need to start breathing properly, squeeze my hand like I’m squeezing yours,” He put some light pressure on your hand, which jump-started you into squeezing his hand as hard as you could. It wasn’t fair. This wasn’t fair. You hated how well he knew you. You wanted him to not know you, to not understand you and your body better than you did. “Just like that,” he cooed. He pressed your hand to his chest, where you could feel his steady and calm breathing, feel his regular heartbeat. It was in stark contrast to you. The thump of your own heartbeat in your ears, the quick breathing, the erratic heart. “Breathe with me. Please baby,” his voice was soft and comforting. You tried, gently slowing your breathing down to normal. The adrenaline was still rushing through your body as you calmed down. Oscar offered you a water bottle and you let go of Lando’s hand to take it. 
“I shouldn’t have come here, I’m sorry,” you said, sounding smaller than ever. “Zak said he wanted to see me after my set. I should’ve just said no.”
“You’re always welcome here,” Oscar placed a hand on your shoulder. “Seriously.”
“We want you here,” Lando added. The air was sucked from the room. “I want you here.”
“You don’t,” you refuted. “I shouldn’t be here.”
Lando sighed. “Let me walk you back to Ferrari, please?”
You shook your head, finally looking up and making eye contact with him. “You and I both know how that’ll go.”
Lando nodded, his heart breaking for the thousandth time. It’s hard to find an end to something you never want to let go of. “Ok,” he whispered, his emotions getting the better of him. 
“Goodbye Lando,” you sighed, then took Oscar’s arm and let him lead you back to Ferrari. 
----------------
“I’m sorry about Lando,” Oscar sighed as you two walked up to the entrance to Ferrari. “About the break up, now, and basically everything in between. He’s been… difficult recently. He’s always been a ‘glass half empty’ kind of guy I guess… I just… you made him better, y’know?”
You chuckled sadly. “Thank you for apologising, but you don’t have to. Lando is an adult, so am I. Things just… end sometimes. Him and I just aren’t meant to be.”
Oscar cocked an eyebrow. “I think we both know that’s not true.”
You didn’t know how to respond. Oscar had never been this straightforward with you, and he sure as hell had never broached this topic before. You just nodded and took his hand. “Thanks for helping me.”
And then you walked back to Ferrari. 
Oscar did get one thing right, Lando wasn’t done with you. Maybe it was seeing you again, maybe it was the album, maybe it was Allison, maybe it was all of it, he didn’t know. But what he did know was that he was still in love with you. He’d never stopped. How could he? He missed everything about you, your lips, your smile, your kindness, the way you’d make him laugh, the way you’d make him smile. Everything. He missed listening to you sing, seeing you on a stage that you wanted to be on. Seeing you get to be you. 
----------------
The Silverstone after-party with Charles who dragged you along. You’d thought it would be a bad idea, but when you were already 8 shots deep, you didn’t really notice. Yuki had pulled you away to sing a karaoke duet with him as Pierre and Charles laughed at you both, and you somehow ended up outside on the balcony with Carlos, both of you laughing at something random. 
“Y/n!” Lando cheered, clearly as drunk as you. A part of you had forgotten about everything before this moment, like you were seeing him for the first time. Perfect, with his curls, unbuttoned shirt, and damn pretty smile. “I didn’t know you were here!” 
“Lan!” you cheered, pulling him in for a hug. Carlos gave you both a very confused look, but was called away by Charles for a game of beer pong. Surprisingly, these ‘fancy’ parties usually just turned into something out of a frat house in Florida. Maybe it was just Logan’s presence. “How are you?” You slurred. 
“I feel great!” he shouted. “We should go for a walk!” 
“Yes!” you agreed. 
----------------
And that’s how you ended up back in his hotel room making out with him on his bed as he pulled your dress off. Funny how things can happen when you’re actually 18 shots deep, not 8. Oops?
“So pretty,” he murmured into your neck as he settled you on his lap. “So pretty for me.”
You laughed into his mouth, pulling back. “Lan, speed up.”
He smirked at you, his eyes heavy, then pressed his lips to yours again. He fully pulled your dress off of you as you started making quick work of his belt and trousers. 
“Fuck me,” you whispered in his ear and he let out a low moan. “Please Lan.”
He didn’t waste time. 
----------------
You woke up the next morning with a blinding headache, and a very naked Lando Norris beside you. You had to leave. You’d just fucked him, and he had a girlfriend. You were a homewrecker. You didn’t know if the sudden urge to vomit came up because of that, or the 18 shots of straight vodka you did the night before. 
You quickly grabbed your clothes, shoes, one of his hoodies, and tried to salvage whatever dignity you had left, then made a swift exit. It was still dark out and you were just praying that you could get through the 2 blocks you had to walk to your hotel without running into someone, or running into cameras. You quickly dialled Sasha’s number and tried to stop yourself from crying. You just pray you two used protection, or fell asleep before doing anything real.
“Morning?” she answered groggily. 
“Sasha I did something really fucking stupid,” you admitted, the tears welling up in your eyes as you walked into the lobby of your hotel. “And I don’t know what to do.”
“Come to my room, we’ll sort it out,” she sighed. “You’ll be ok kiddo, I promise.”
----------------
You knocked on her hotel room door, tears in your eyes. 
“It’s 5 am,” she stated, opening the door. 
You rushed in, bursting into tears. “I think I fucked Lando, I mean- I-I think we fucked, last night- we were so drunk a-and then I don’t re-remember,” you hiccuped. “I’m so fucking stupid!”
She put a hand on your shoulder, sighing. “That was a very stupid thing to do,” she nodded. “But it’s not the end of the world. Did you use protection?”
“I don’t know.”
“I’ll go get Plan B, you stay here. Get changed into some pyjamas. Get some water, relax. Just don’t leave the hotel, yeah?”
“Alright,” you agreed. She left for the door. “Sash?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you,” you said in a small voice. She offered you a pitying smile, and went on her way. 
----------------
Months passed and you both went on with your lives. He didn’t reach out, you didn’t either. Sadly, you were in fact a homewrecker. A week after ‘the incident’ Allison and Lando broke up. You truthfully felt so ashamed and awful for the girl. It wasn’t right what you two had done, and truly, you were insanely drunk. In no world would you fuck Lando Norris sober. 
The tour had finally ended, and your world was no longer turned upside down. You were working on new music, healing your body after all the travel and abuse you put it through, and continuing to try and get over Lando. 
It hurt like a bitch. He hurt like a bitch. 
----------------
Lando two-wins. Contender in the Championship. Supposedly dating someone. Last Lap Lando.
Lonely Lando, more like. Max Fewtrell had decided to stage an intervention and join him for the rest of the races, worried about his mental state. Since seeing you again, he’d been… less than alright. He’d talk about you all the time, stalk your instagram (to the point that Max took his phone off of him in Greece), and generally just think about you a lot. It was coming up to the album drop, and you were having your launch party in Italy. The same weekend as the race. All because Charles wanted to come. 
Shit was bound to go down, and no one was more excited than Hallie. 
You were dressed to the nines, nervous and excited. You’d fired half of your team, you’d dropped your old label, and you’d become… happier? That couldn’t be right, not when you felt the oppressive weight of your own regret on your chest everyday. Not when you woke up reaching for Lando. Not when you watched every single race and couldn’t look away until he was safely across that damn finish line. 
You were surviving. That���s the best you could do. 
----------------
“You look beautiful,” Charles smiled as he walked into the party. The night had gone off without a hitch so far. A select group of fans, influencers, celebrities, and almost all the drivers were mingling with one another, and not one sighting of Lando Norris. Not that you didn’t miss his face, or him in general. You did. More than you’d ever thought possible to miss someone.  
“Thanks Charles,” you smiled, pulling him into a hug. “You look great too.”
He smiled and beside him, Alexandria smiled at you, then pulled you into a hug. You continued the superficial chatting for a few moments, just hoping Charles wouldn’t ask the dreaded question. 
He looked at you for a second too long, and you knew it was coming. “Are you alright?” God, why did he have to ask stupid fucking questions? Obviously you weren’t alright. Obviously, if you could, you would run away. Obviously, you were drowning. 
Didn’t he see that? Didn’t anyone notice? Didn’t anyone care?
Apparently not. 
You nodded, putting on your best fake smile. “Just nervous.”
He nodded. It was enough to fool him. 
The night went on in a flurry of uncomfortable small talk, ridiculous requests from your most esteemed guests, and it was finally time to start listening to the album. You stood on stage, a nervous smile on your face as everyone looked at David, your producer, who was speaking in length about how proud of the record he was, and how proud he was of you. Everything was perfect. Everything was right in the world. 
But, of course, because he had to always be the centre of your universe, Lando walked in. 
And you were fucked. Every single breathing technique you’d learnt, every single pressure point tapping you’d done, it all left your head. Everything stopped. You stopped breathing. You stopped. 
But it didn’t feel wrong. It didn’t feel bad to have him there. It felt awfully, and soul-crushingly, right. Lando was always meant to be there, a devastating realisation that you didn’t exactly want to make while on stage in front of 200 people. 
“Any words, Y/n?” David asked, passing you the mic. 
You looked at Lando and he smiled, waving at you. You smiled back. 
“Please enjoy this album, it’s from a very important time of my life where I finally learnt what it meant to be in love, and be loved wholly in return. Obviously, it didn’t end very well, and that’s when I learnt what grieving someone was. I still have a lot of love for him, probably more than I should. But I have it. And I had nowhere to put it, so I put it to music, which is really the only thing I think I’ll ever truly understand. I hope you enjoy it, and I hope you understand it,” You explained to the crowd. You watched Lando the entire time, looking at how his eyes lit up when you talked about your relationship. Lando had always cared about you. He always would. 
The opening cords of the first song started playing, and the attention was off of you. The crowd just closed their eyes and listened. You exited the stage and joined the crowd, desperately trying to get out of there. You stood on the balcony as the music blasted inside. People danced along, sang along as they started learning the words, and you stayed outside, tears falling. 
“You’re beautiful,” Lando’s whisper made you jump. You turned to see him, standing there behind you. “The album’s beautiful.”
You scoffed. “The album’s an album. What was beautiful was us,” you sighed. “Thank you for coming.”
He nodded, leaning against the barrier beside you. “Do you even wish our lives weren’t as complicated as they are?”
You chuckled. “More than anything.”
“We were beautiful,” he shook his head, trying to remember why he ever ruined the best thing in his life. “If you ever find yourself wanting to love me again, just… call me?”
You nodded, looking at him. “I will.”
He nodded, putting his hand on your shoulder and letting it sit there for a split-second, just to remind him of what it was like to touch you. Just to remind himself that once, he didn’t have to wonder if you loved him, to remind him of the unwavering support you gave him, to remind him of how his whole world came crashing down when he made you leave it. “I love you,” he whispered before walking to the door. 
His phone started ringing in his pocket as he got back inside. Unknown number. He answered it. 
“I think I want to love you again,” he could hear your smile through the phone and he immediately whipped around, his smile growing as he got closer to you. When he stood in front of you again, you both took the phones down and smiled at each other.
Lando didn’t waste time. He closed the gap between you two in one simple stride, wrapped his arms around your waist and pressed his lips to yours. “I love you so much,” he pulled back. “I’m never letting you go again.”
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landonorris
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1,488,928 likes | liked by oscarpiastri, y/ny/l/n, and others
love of my life. @ y/ny/l/n
comments
user28: WHAT THE FUCK THEY BROKE UP MONTHS AGO THO????-> user92: they were seen kissing at her launch party
y/ny/l/n: who's that pretty girl? -> oscarpiastri: she's too good for him -> landonorris: >:( -> oscarpiastri: hurt her again and I push you off the track. ->carlossainz: I second this -> charleslecerc: I third this -> alexalbon: I fourth this -> georgerussell: I fifth this.
georgerussell: Trying to beat me with no shirt?
lewishamilton: Yay! (I begged her not to take you back you asshole). -> pierregasly: Yay! (I'm trying to be supportive of her).
lilymhe: fuck off. ->user83: LMAO -> user18: DAMN EVERYONE HATES HIM
danielriccardo: HAHAHAHAHAH (I'm crying.)
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navigation for my blog :) (masterlist)
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uchinagai · 3 months
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“It’s me before her” - Karina smau
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➢Synopsis : kim y/n, #1 soloist currently, known for other than just acting like out of this world and singning like an angel, is also known in the industry as 'flirt' among female idols. A certain world wide idol, got her attention on her, but little did she know, there was another one, more desperate and in love with her before the global it girl.
➢Pairing : yoo jimin x fem!reader
➢Genre : smau + written , wlw fluff , idol au, y/n is in huge denial, strangers(?) to lovers, idol!karina, actress!y/n, idol!y/n, tiny bit of suggestive (will see how the story goes ig).
➢status: started on 16.06.2024
➢updates : whenever i can
➢taglist : open !
➢featuring : aespa, jennie (blackpink), sunghoon (enhypen), song kang (actor), minnie ((G)I-DLE), soojin (solo), hanni (newjeans), ryujin (itzy), kai / jeongin (exo), jeno (NCT) more to come...
A/N: ignore any mistakes pls 😭😭 also im kind of new to tumblr so please bear with me i could be kind of slow :3 hope you guys enjoy
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P R O F I L E S - y/n fan club + men || rainbow rebels || others
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more to come .. :3
690 notes · View notes
nsingcat · 1 month
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MADE FOR EACH OTHER. O, BEARMAN
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summary ✶ fan’s can’t help but to gush over you & ollie!
pairings ✶ ollie bearman x reader
type of fic ✶ smau
faceclaim ✶ hanni pham!
notes ✶ i ♡ ollie. you’re a college student (18-19) so you’re a private wag 😚!
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#INSTAGRAM: FAN ACCOUNT !
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liked by olliebearman, user, user and 256,928 others!
author throwback to when yn brought a teddy bear for ollie at baku 2023 🥹!!
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user AND IT WAS REDD I LOVE HERR 😫
user possibly the cutest f2 couple !! i hope we see her at more races this year
➥ user possibly the best wag 🤷!
➥ user you ain’t never lie !!
user WHEN HE WON THE RACE SHE GAVE IT TO HIM !! IT WAS THE CUTEST THINGG
olliebearman i still have that bear :)! she cuddles with it more than me but eh
➥ author oh HEY GIRLLL!! TELL YN I SAID HI OMGG
➥ user i sobbed i love them both
➥ user GIVE US MORE YN CONTENT 😠🤨👊
➥ user THAT’S SO CUTEEE
user 🕯️ yn at more races this year 🕯️
user SHE’S SO PRETTYY
user waiitt im new here!! how is she related to ollie? like what does she do?
➥ user this is y/n l/n !! she’s a college student majoring in journalism! she’s a private wag, so her instagram & tiktok is private. she doesn’t show up to a lot of races but she tries to and is the sweetest ever
user ollie teach me your ways bro
user best f2 wag soon to be the best f1 wag !1!1
user off topic but once ollie becomes a full-time f1 driver i’m gonna be so excited to see yn interact with all the other wags!!
➥ user HER AND FLAVY OMGGG>>
➥ user ALSO HER AND ALEX??? FASHIONISTAS FRR
➥ user can’t wait until the wags take her under their wing 🙏
➥ user just realized she’s gonna be the youngest wag what the frick 😦
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#INSTAGRAM: OLLIEBEARMAN !
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liked by yourusername, kimi.antonelli, alexandrasaintmleux, and 634,827 others!
olliebearman summer break with my baby 💝
tagged: yourusername
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user SHES SUCH A CUTE
user oh my god idk if wanna be ollie or yn
user HE WENT TO HER COLLEGE??? OH IM SICK 😓
user they’re made for each other omfg
user YN CONTENT YN CONTENT ‼️‼️
alexandrasaintmleux cuties 💕!!
➥ user mother omfg
➥ user when i’m in a biggest ynliver fan competition and my opponent is alexandra saint mleux
➥ can’t wait for the yn x alex interactions next yeaarrr 😫
user SHE’S SO HAPPYFUL WHAT
user my favorite couple i cant
user the grass photo of her.. shes so adorable
user “my baby” I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOR
user the photos with each other 🥹..
user PLEASE NEVER BREAK UP OMFG
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#TWITTER: FAN ACCOUNTS !
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#INSTAGRAM: YOURUSERNAME !
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liked by olliebearman, user, paularon_, and 185,836 others!
yourusername did a little photoshoot for my friend’s makeup showcase ! these are BTS (not the band) <3!
comments are limited
olliebearman FIRST HA
olliebearman pretty girl 💕
olliebearman can’t believe you’re my girlfriend 😮‍💨!!
olliebearman i miss you sososo much 😵‍💫
paularon_ have some decorum oliver 😧
➥ yourusername leave him alone paul ! let him express his love (even if it’s a little worrying..)
➥ olliebearman THANK YOU BABY!! (i think??)
➥ yourusername you’re welcome baby !! (˶ ˘ ³˘)ˆᵕ ˆ˶)
alexandrasaintmleux gorgeous girl !!! we must plan another date 😚💕
➥ yourusername thank you alex 🥹!! i’ll text you <3
kimi.antonelli ollie wouldn’t stop talking about these photos btw
➥ kimi.antonelli seriously. pls come get your boyfriend
➥ kimi.antonelli i’m pretty sure he’s gonna start crying if you don’t call him
➥ yourusername i- okay thank you kimi !! 😭
olliebearman please disregard kimi’s comments, i was in fact NOT CRYING.
➥ olliebearman okay i was, i love you ☹️💝
➥ yourusername i love you more pretty boy 😚‼️
➥ olliebearman that’s impossible but whatever … 🤷 (I LOVE YOU MOST)
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nymphia talks! OLLIE FIC OLLIE FIC! he’s not on my masterlist but i’m slowly becoming a fan of his so he’s getting added 😚! i hope you all enjoy <3
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