#last year my goal was to read one book a month so twelve books and i did NOT meet that goal

[stevethehairington]

ya girl just hit her 2024 reading goal.... and it's only february 😂😂😂😂 looks like i DEFINITELY have some reconsidering to do

[ninja-muse]

So it's somehow the end of May? Not sure how that happened, even though I have been busy so of course the time has flown by! Things done this last month include hosting family multiple times, visiting my first cat café, visiting family, wedding reception, and baking my first rhubarb pie. Somehow I managed to fit 9 books and 2 DNFs in there, and was very good about not taking too many ARCs home. I didn't even buy anything!

Also, this is the first time I think I've ever underpacked physical books for a holiday. I thought for sure that the SF book I popped in my bag would last me at least three days but no, A History of What Comes Next was a fast read and lasted one. Thank goodness for Libby and my cache of T. Kingfisher e-novellas, is all I'm saying. Reading those back to back got my reading goal back on track for the year.

Novel is still progressing apace. Digger is still not shipped. It is reading outdoors weather but I've yet to do so. Nothing else to report.

And now without further ado, in order of enjoyment…

Magisteria - Nicholas Spencer

A history of the interactions between science and (Western) (mostly Christian) religion.

7.5/10

warning: discussions of racism, race science, eugenics, historical Islamophobia

After Villon - Roger Farr

Poetry written in conversation with a late medieval French criminal-poet.

🏳️‍🌈, 🇨🇦

The Sinister Booksellers of Bath - Garth Nix

Susan and Bath’s magical booksellers must rescue Merlin after he’s trapped in a map—which might mean taking on an unknown Sovereign.

6.5/10

🏳️‍🌈 secondary character (genderqueer), Afro-British secondary characters, Muslim secondary character

A History of What Comes Next - Sylvain Neuvel

A lineage of scientifically-minded women work behind the scenes with one goal: Get Them To The Stars Before Evil Kills Us All.

7/10

main characters consistently read as POC, 🏳️‍🌈 main character (sapphic), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary character (sapphic), Black-Russian secondary character, Chinese-American secondary character, 🇨🇦 Warning: attempted rape, early methods of conversion therapy

Vera Wong’s Unsolicited Advice for Murderers - Jesse Q. Sutanto

When Vera finds a body in her tea shop, she knows exactly what to do—call the police and then solve the murder herself.

7/10

Chinese-American protagonist, largely Asian-American cast, Chinese-Indonesian author

warning: domestic abuse (not physical)

A Master of Djinn - P. Djèlí Clark

Agent Fatma investigates a mass murder with possible ties to djinn magic.

7/10

largely Egyptian cast, Nubian secondary characters, 🏳️‍🌈 main character (lesbian), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary character (sapphic), largely Muslim cast, African-American author

warning: contains racists, colonial mindsets, and cultural appropriators

Kiss Her Once For Me - Alison Cochrun

Ellie agrees to a fake engagement and marriage over the Christmas holidays—only to find out her fiancé’s sister is the one-night stand she couldn’t get over.

7/10

🏳️‍🌈 main character (bi), main character with anxiety disorder, 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (lesbian, trans, nonbinary, multisexual), Korean-American secondary characters, Latinx secondary character, Filipina secondary character, secondary character with ADHD

warning: depiction of anxiety and panic attacks, toxic parent-child relationship

Minor Mage - T. Kingfisher

Twelve-year-old Oliver is sent away from his village on a quest to bring back rain. He knows three spells, and one is to repel armadillo dander.

6.5/10

Mortal Follies - Alexis Hall

Maelys Micklemore has been cursed, a terrible thing for a young Regency woman. Her best hope of breaking the spell is the mannish Lady Georgiana, who might be a witch. Out in June.

6.5/10

🏳️‍🌈 protagonist (sapphic), 🏳️‍🌈 secondary characters (sapphic, gay, trans woman), Black British secondary character, Afro-British secondary character

Picture Books

The Octopus Escapes - Maile Meloy with Felicia Salter (illustrator)

An octopus is brought to an aquarium. Being captive is great—at first.

DNF

The Last Heir to Blackwood Library - Hester Fox

Ivy inherits an estate in Yorkshire, with a magnificent library, recalcitrant servants, a ghost, and a curse.

The Absolute Book - Elizabeth Knox

A woman who lost her sister to violence finds herself drawn into another world with bearings on her family history.

Currently reading:

Shadowlands - Matthew Green

Short histories of lost settlements from across the UK.

The Gifts - Liz Hyder

In 1840s England, a woman grows wings.

Stats Monthly total: 9+1 Yearly total: 53/140 Queer books: 5 Authors of colour: 2 Books by women: 3 Authors outside the binary: 0 Canadian authors: 2 Off the TBR shelves: 2 Books hauled: 0 ARCs acquired: 3 ARCs unhauled: 2 DNFs: 2

January February March April

[catawonkus]

Got a goal for this year to read a book a month. Here’s my current progress-

January - The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue -DNF

Couldn’t do it. Everyone spoke so highly of it, but my goodness, I was halfway through the book before she thought to introduce me to the love interests! Something couldn’t just happen to Addie. It had to happen, then happen again, then happen again, before the author thought the point had gotten across sufficiently! I had to DNF.

February - Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - fun!

I only read the first one, but it was good! It didn’t rock my world, but it was funny, and the satire landed well.

March - Scarlet (The Lunar Chronicles). - SO MUCH FUN.

Years ago I read Cinder, but it was time to try the next one in the series! Don’t get me wrong, parts of this were hokey. It was trope filled, it didn’t shock me - but it was so enjoyable. This is what I want from my fairy tale retellings. And from my leading men - I am not immune to feral boys with a tortured backstory.

April - Cress (TLC) - Fun!

Now that I’ve gotten back to the series I need to finish! Not as much fun as Scarlet, because it’s less of a woman falling in love with a man named wolf and pretending not to know it’s a bad idea. But it remained delightfully predictable to a degree while also making me laugh out loud in places.

May - Winter (TLC) - had me on the edge of my seat

Honestly my only critique is that with so many characters, sometimes things had to be glossed over that I thought could have more emotional impact. Or sometimes the parts that were necessary to tie in the fairy tale felt unnecessary next to the plot, more than the other books, in a way that the others didn’t. Maybe if there was 5 books - this one had been Snow White, and then the last one had tied everything together and had the rebellion and all the characters sharing focus equally. Then we’d have more bonding time for everyone. Other than that, action packed thrill ride that managed to keep up that fun fairy tale vibe - the last showdown scene was both thrilling and, out of context, amusing, because you have all these fairy tale characters attacking each other. I’d actually really recommend this series for fairy tale and sci fi fans like me.

June - no book this month, sadly. I just didn’t have time :( maybe I can do 2 in July?

July - The Innocent by David Baldacci - fine

No, im not falling behind on my goals; how dare you say so.

It was fine. I’ve never read this genre before but I love a good procedural style thriller show or movie. But spending twelve hours on a story where the ending is a bit obvious and there’s not much character growth… Is a lot. But I did enjoy it! Don’t know if I’d read more in this genre though.

August - A Murder is Announced by Agatha Christie - good!

She got me as usual! I did not guess the killer, though I did pick up on quite a few of the clues! Always enjoyable to read a good murder mystery - it’s a very “autumn” feeling even if it’s still hot outside — highly recommend!

September - Twilight - dare I say iconic

I read this book when I was around 13, maybe? But haven’t since, so I decided to reread it now since this month I was in Forks, WA. The thing about Twilight is, the book isn’t as cringe-funny as the movie — it’s just a normal YA romance with a paranormal twist. There’s an interesting story there about a boy struggling with self control and a girl with a neglectful mom who has learned to prioritize others over herself, learning to ask for what she wants. There’s tropes that are pretty popular. Love at first sight, the dangerous bad boy. It’s a fine book even if it’s not the kind I usually go for. I enjoyed it!

As if you could outrun me! As if you could fight me off! 🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️

(Also I skimmed through a book called Ben and Beatriz. It was terrible.)

October - Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? By Philip K Dick - a bummer in places, good sci fi

A sci fi classic that definitely left me debating with my friend as to the themes and meanings behind it. I’d recommend it — though it is a bit of a downer bc of the dystopian world.

Second book in October… The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison - my favorite this year

Extremely good, if a slog to get through at first. The impossible number of names nearly threw me off, but I’m glad I pushed through to get to the fun part. It’s always nice to read a main character who is honestly flawed but relatable and intelligent. Also, I didn’t even try with the names. I keep calling Beshelar “Balthazar”. I’ve only had him, Cala, and Csevet for a day and a half, but if anything happened to them…

November - Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett - a great read

You ever read a book and halfway through you say “this author has got to be British. Hold up let me look it up”? Very funny and also fun to read but with a big, if cynical, heart. The writing was shockingly similar to Hitchhiker’s Guide and I’m glad to have finally dipped my toe into into Discworld. My favorite character was the Patrician. What a weird and off-putting dude!

Second book in November - All Systems Red by Martha Wells - really exciting, tight adventure

What if your iPhone could quiet quit? What if your roomba vacuumed but was like, annoyed about it and wanted to steal your wallet? That’s basically this book. Really good even if the ending was a bit abrupt.

December - Artificial Condition by Martha Wells

The roomba is on the loose and wants answers, but it’ll settle for murder. Better than the last one, very enjoyable!! It’s honestly taking on a action-thriller vibe (like the Innocent, I read that in July), but snappier and with a genderless main character who has trauma. Can’t wait to read the next.

Second Book in December - Rogue Protocol by Martha Wells

These are short, btw, and I’m trying to read them quickly so my roommate can talk about them. This one was also good. The character development was way more distinct in this one (Murderbot is a bit of a pouter), but the plot was less engaging. They really do feel more like tv episodes than books, so it’s hard to judge them independently.

[djservo]

this is so late of me oopsie got a bit carried away almost forgot the date. well here we are, december 31st 2022. already touched on your top books of the year, so for this months wrapped lets also get into: books that let you down, books you're anticipating in 2023, and your reading goals! <3

REPORTING TO YOU LIVE FROM THE FINAL HOURS, THE VERY DREGS OF 2022!!! 🎤 i answered this in spurts throughout the day bc I didn’t want to have any hungover 2022 obligations/thoughts seep into 2023 so Apologies if things sound tonally discombobulated (as if I’ve ever been coherent in one of these before) 🫗 i read 9 this month and i willed myself to ramble about them all as a treat HERE WE GO

december reads

Cruising the Movies: A Sexual Guide to "Oldies" on TV by Boyd McDonald

so fun, funny, and unapologetically horny - the perfect trifecta! we need more horny writing/critiques like this! sometimes I’ll write reviews (for my eyes only ofc) for movies that really affect me, but this made me want to get better into the habit of writing them more consistently, even if just glib observations. fine tune my thoughts (horny or not) rather than let them scramble and dissipate into nothingness 💭 starting next year (tomorrow) 🤞

The Last Days of Judas Iscariot by Stephen Adly Guirgis

I feel like most of this play’s clout is attributed to the “Why didn’t you make me good enough so that you could’ve loved me” line alone (deserved!) but this is also just so funny and creative as a philosophical unpacking of by-the-book religion/christianity + the conundrums/hypocrisies that sustain it

My Life in France by Julia Child

I read this on a train that ended up at a standstill for hours & they handed out these puny bags of chex mix as consolation (I texted my friend “it’s like I’m living Triangle of Sadness rn” lmfao) and had I not been so charmed by Julia’s rosy outlook and dreamy accounts of food and travel and Love, I likely wouldn’t have appreciated the irony of munching on stale pretzels whilst reading indulgent paragraphs of food porn. luckily her charm radiates from her words so my heart was full the entire time and the fact that she didn’t properly learn how to cook (nor had she found True Love™️) until her 30s makes me want to cry/throw up/etc!! moral of the story: it’s literally never too late for anything!!! also PACK SNACKS ON THE TRAIN ALWAYS!!!

Watchmen by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons

I wanted to be more annoyed with this bc the most annoying people are like THIS IS A MASTERCLASS IN STORYTELLING.... GENIUS.... but ugh fine this was really enthralling, I unfortunately do get the hype!! in between each chapter/issue were extra tidbits of like (fictional/story-related) police files, news articles, etc that made the world-building that much richer blah blah blah I Appreciate the Details -_- I’m also so fucking glad I read this before watching the movie bc Zack Snyder wouldn’t know subtlety if it spit in his face so all the meticulous detail and backstory from the novel would’ve been completely lost on me </3 big win for the book-before-movie purists

Bless the Daughter Raised by a Voice in Her Head by Warsan Shire

The gift and curse of being an emotionally evolved adult actively processing/grappling with your childhood trauma(s)! so much weight in sentences that don’t rely on pumped-up purple prose or weighty cliché phrases, both of which I wouldn’t have found surprising for a poet of the instagram age. there’s this casual wave-of-the-hand/and-so-it-goes quality, which I think makes it the reckoning that much more heartbreaking

From Drowning in Dawson’s Creek: “When I was twelve or thirteen and mad / with loneliness, I dreamt of white boys and / ladders leading to bedroom windows. / I dreamt all night of their scurrying, climbing in and out of me. / For Pacey Witter I would hitchhike Capeside. / For his plaid embrace, / I was willing to disown myself.”

My Wicked Wicked Ways by Sandra Cisneros

despite my 4 years of public school spanish language classes, I’ve somehow evaded reading The House on Mango Street (which I feel like was a staple in my school district’s curriculum), but I’m kinda glad since this was a treat of an intro to her style. I love how she keeps this kind of youthful, almost childishly petulant tone even when talking about adult things, walking this fine line of bouncy charm and heartbreak

From Drought: “Because of pride / I do not phone. / Not me. / On the contrary / I place the telephone / over there. / Against the wall. / At the far end of the room. / And stare at it for days like cigarettes.”

Is the Rectum a Grave? (and Other Essays) by Leo Bersani

I don’t read nearly as much theory as I wish to so it’s always a feat when I manage to finish a book in its entirety without rage quitting out of brain-fry self-consciousness LOL but this was amazing - strangely right on the nose for a few films I watched this month too (It Is Not the Homosexual Who Is Perverse, But the Society in Which He Lives (1971) - perfect companion piece) by no means was this an easy read. had to reread pages a few times, mull over sentences, look up words, etc, but when it did click, it was so rewarding and ultimately worth the brain farts and struggle, which I think is maybe just the theory experience™️

The Argonauts by Maggie Nelson

this was another book (along with I Love Dick) that I’ve had on my TBR list for ages, both of which I might’ve even heard of through the #ArtGirl side of tumblr years ago lmao but the difference is I adored this one Wow!! there’s a threshold I can stand before a book feels Too reliant on its outside references and thus a little pretentious/void, but everything mentioned here felt more like enriching supplementation rather than unnecessary padding. so honest and empathetic and refreshingly optimistic about motherhood and partnership and the inner-transformations/frames of thinking required for both.... real tears were shed, that’s how u know!

Liarmouth: A Feel-Bad Romance by John Waters

I just saw his live christmas show a couple weeks ago & snagged a signed copy so this was an especially special read! as I read it, I was trying to think of who - if anyone - I’d recommend this to aside from john waters fans. then I thought, would I even like this if I wasn’t a john waters fan, privy to his works and in on his jokes? if I wasn’t able to hear these chapters in his voice, or imagine these scenes shot in his style? but luckily we don’t live in that evil timeline so I had a twisted little blast with this, perfect book to end this chaotic year filled with so very many john-waters-like predicaments!

let downs

initially I had so many more titles but they were mostly just books I felt "meh" about which didn't seem fair so now I'm interpreting this as books I initially had high hopes for but ultimately didn't rise to my expectations

I Love Dick by Chris Kraus, The Cabin at the End of the World by Paul Tremblay, Sigh, Gone by Phuc Tran, In the Miso Soup by Ryū Murakami, Beautiful World, Where Are You by Sally Rooney

anticipations/goals

I'm a pretty bad #reader in that I don't really keep up with new/upcoming releases unless it's an author I adore/have read several books by there's not much in mind - maybe Elliot Page’s memoir? as for goals, you already know I just got a kindle which has opened this door of possibility as I mostly rely on my library BUT when my library doesn't have a title I’m looking for (which is often), I'll find a PDF/epub online and read either on my phone or laptop which isn't preferable for me SO!! LONG STORY SHORT!! this newfound ease has reignited my motivation to dig into meatier reads that’ve been collecting dust on my TBR list 🥩 I’ve already downloaded a few I’ve been unable to find at the library (& don’t wanna spend a small fortune on) so next year I anticipate reading more theory 📍 one of my movie-watching goals is to delve more thoroughly into filmographies of filmmakers I like, so ideally I’ll do something similar with reading and complete the written works of more authors I enjoy, but IDK I also think a lot my joy of reading comes from the rabbit holes I get led down/thru - this memoir leading me to that fiction leading me to that theory etc etc. we’ll see what kinda discipline I can conjure up 🧘 I'd also like to track down some vintage pulp/erotica, expand my horizons in that realm. last time I was at the used bookshop I came across this 2000s (not vintage ik) gay vampire parody of Fight Club called ‘Bite Club’ which I thought was amazing genius hilarious etc but I haven’t read Fight Club yet so those 2 are like top of my list LMAO

ok jesus christ this is stupid long but i figured i’d indulge for the end of the year, really brain-spew these final ‘22 inner-ramblings and opinions <3 AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

[villainoir]

Breaking up in your 30s

Is any of you familiar with tarot? Have you ever gotten a tarot reading or, maybe, can you read tarot yourself?

People don’t use tarot for many reasons, but one of them is because they are afraid of the scary-looking cards. Death, first and foremost, though it is nothing compared to the tower, ten of swords, or three of swords; the one where the swords pierced through a heart, sometimes with a storm in the background.

Unfortunately, my first introduction to tarot started with that card. An impromptu reading by a rather psychic senior in my art college. She might forget it, but it sticks with me throughout the years. She said, “I cannot tell you when you will move on or if you will ever move on. It seems like you’re the kind of person who would be stuck loving someone for a very, very long time.”

Perhaps that is why I bury myself in long-term crushes, not to mention two long-term relationships that don’t work. The first one was for almost five years, and the second one was for almost six years. Before I knew it, my 20s were gone, and now, I am single again at 30, not knowing anything about dating or being single, and possibly, upsetting my parents for not fulfilling their wishes.

I won’t say it is easy. It got to the point that I deactivated my Instagram despite my account growing. I couldn’t stand seeing my friends getting engaged, marrying, buying houses, and having kids, while my relationship back then wasn’t moving forward. Their feed was full of happy moments with their new family, while mine was full of books. Only books. I felt like my life had reached a plateau.

In the end, I let go of that relationship despite fear and uncertainties. Yes, it is a failure if I consider marriage as the ultimate end goal, but in terms of how much I grew as a person, I think my relationships are successful in their own way.

After the breakup, I contemplated a lot, such as:

(1) Love is the simplest thing on Earth, relationship is not.

(2) Once you fall in love, you can’t ever go back to square one because love constantly shapes you as a better person; a love that becomes. There is a trail of them in every good aspect that you are.

Thus, (3) you can move on from a relationship, but you cannot truly move on from love. The tarot reading is, apparently, accurate. It only takes a different perspective to completely make sense of it.

It is funny to finally admit that, I love being in love. Regardless of being loved back or not, regardless of whether it ends up in “I do” or goodbye, regardless of three months or three years. I am in for the beauty of it. Art for art’s sake. A speck of encounter that lasts a lifetime. A true butterfly effect.

So, thank you, God, for love. For the people I love tirelessly, and for those who love me sincerely.

Another tarot reader said people cannot escape their life lessons, or else, they would repeat the same circumstances all over again. It is twelve years late, but I learned the lesson now. Because even in the dreadful three of swords card—if you look at it closely—there is no single crack on the surface. The heart is not broken. It is holding on, knowing love is not synonymous with hurt.

May you all be happy and loved.

Ardista, March 2023

[albelen]

2023 reading review and 2024 reading goals

Here I am, on the last day of 2023, reflecting not only about life but also on the books I've read these past twelve months.

My reading goal this year was 25 books. I was confident about it because I got a Storytel subscription last December 2022 and I was convinced that listening to audiobooks would help me go through my TBR - and it did, for a while.

I mostly listened to a few contemporary romance and YA fantasy audiobooks because I found them easier to follow. None of them stood out to me, except for the Wall of Winnipeg and Me, which was such a cute and lovely story albeit the poor writing.

I read another Joan Didion book (Let Me Tell You What I Mean) and I finally picked up All About Love by bell hooks. I'm still trying to find a way to appreciate non-fiction books more.

Letting the hype get into me, I read Babel by RF Kuang. I have to be honest, I wasn't a big fan of the Poppy War, but I still had big expectations from Babel, but alas, I found it hard to finish. It was not bad and you can totally tell that RF Kuang is intelligent (I mean, she has masters and a PhD from prestigious universities) and knows her stuff. However, even if the plot sounded very promising at first, the pacing was too fast for what it was trying to be/do and the characters were not as fully fleshed out as they should be. Robin as a main character felt too passive and indecisive, his brother would have made a better lead.

If I were to pick my favorite from all the 22 books I read this year, then it definitely has to be Clytemnestra by Costanza Casati. It is by no means perfect, but it's a perfect example of a good retelling of an ancient myth and an ancient female character. I went to her book signing (she was so nice!) and she mentioned how she wrote this book in a way that it can be accessible to anyone. I didn't think I could love Clytemnestra and grieve for her, but you can feel her anger and grief through the pages. This book was amazing and it's even more amazing that it's a debut novel.

I might not have reached my reading goal, but I also don't feel too bad about it because I reread the entire Captive Prince trilogy and read so many well-written fanfics (SakuAtsu, LaMen and JereJean mostly lol).

I haven't decided how many books I will set as my goal for the next year, but I hope I'll have the time and energy to read more non-fiction books and go through at least one classic. I also want to reread the Stormlight Archive 1-4 before the the fifth book comes out. The second book of the Wheel of Time is definitely on the list of books I have to go through this year as well as book three of the Mistborn trilogy.

[tnlbarth-blog]

Nov 12 2023 - 12:40am

Warning: All people places and things resembling any real people places or things are merely coincidence and are not to be taken as such.

NaNoWriMo for those of you who don't know is National Novel Writing Month. The month that it takes place during is November. Writers from around the world sit down at their computers and write as much as they can in their novels. Some write a whole new book. Others trying to get through an already started novel

Even though I am an author I never participated. This was because my, now ex friend did and never explained what it was to me. And when I would ask questions she refused to inform me acting as if my lack of knowledge made her better than me. I wish I could say I am over exaggerating and just feel bitter. She acted as if she were better than me even in subjects that I knew about and was clearly better at. I am pretty sure she didn't want to worry about me being better than her at something else especially since I am not a competitive person. I think that lack of competitive spirit bugged her. I don't know why she continued being friends with me.

Another reason I didn't participate was, when I did learn what it was, I found out through other people online acting as if they are better than everyone else because they participated in it. Which hit some old wounds and made me run away from the event.

And my last reason for not participating is that last year I spent the whole year taking care of my dying cat. I had so much stress induced writers block I couldn't even write a sentence.

This year while I was on my other social media app that I enjoy I watched a video from a woman about NaNoWriMo. She was someone I enjoyed watching. She was always impartial in her videos preferring not to put her personal opinions in her videos and when she did she made sure to make her video come across level headed and not like her opinion was the only right opinion.

Anyway I watched a video she made on the topic of NaNoWriMo. She discussed why you should do it and ways you could do it. She didn't make it sound like if you participated you were better than people who don't. She just talked about the benefits like being able to possibly finish that book you've been writing for six years now and things like that.

Watching that video made me want to try this year. And with my cat gone I had a lot of free time to fill. So I decided this was what I will do this month.

On the first day I didn't write, instead I prepped myself. I set up my space, moving things around to best suit my writing needs. I cleaned up the mess that had accumulated from the last three weeks; two taking care of my dying cat and the week after of morning. I restocked my incense. I took a shower so I wouldn't be sidetracked. I went shopping for food I could eat that was healthy and filling so I would have the brain power to work and I set out my computer glasses.

The second day is when the writing started. I set my goal for five hundred words and I went for it. I checked at every natural stopping point in my story until I reached at least five hundred words. And I stopped just after five hundred.

The first few days went well. Then on day nine when I got onto my computer it malfunctioned and I messed up resulting in me losing the previous day's five hundred twelve words. I was devastated. But after some time of grieving those words, complaining about it to the Internet and taking several breaks I rewrote them plus a little more ending the chapter I was on. I then continued and finished writing day nine's five hundred words too. That day I wrote almost one thousand five hundred words total. It took me eight hours but I did it.

I was so proud of myself that the rest of the week I ended up writing at least seven hundred words a day. Including today which was a total of one thousand one handed and one words total.

But today was special. I decided that I needed to read through my eight year old unfinished book I am working on to make sure it makes sense, is cohesive up to the point I have written. And that the characters didn't change too much since the book had only taken place over the core of ten days so far. But I had to read through sixteen chapters at forty-five thousand two hundred seventy eight words long. It took all day because I couldn't stop myself from editing all the mistakes I saw.

All I have to say is that even though it took me sixteen hours I am very proud I did it. I was able to fix plot holes and unwanted character changes. I could fix continuity errors that I didn't notice before. And now I feel very good about what I've written so far.

I was sitting here before writing this thinking about how I want to read more of my book. It may sound conceited but I love my book. It's entertaining, exciting and funny. It's unique too. This book has been my best idea so far and I cannot wait to see it finished.

My goal for this NaNoWriMo is to get as close to finishing my book as I can. I want to make sure though that I am pacing myself well. Which is one of the reasons I decided on a five hundred words a day goal.

If you decide you want to participate in NaNoWriMo I really hope you enjoy yourself. But remember this is not a competition. Participating doesn't make you better than anyone else. And have fun.

If you don't want to or can't participate that's perfectly fine there is nothing wrong or bad about that. I hope you enjoy your November.

Regards,

TNL Barth

[princepestilence]

NYR: October in review

Post-October horoscope: “what’s meant for you will always feel natural, calm and clear, not forced, chaotic and confused.”

I live in our own house now. So that’s pretty cool. October has been by far the longest month of this year, and it feels like so much happened in only thirty-one days. Here’s some of it:

little holiday with friends -- was really, really great. So relaxing, so joyful. One of them sneaky proposed at another at the first winery, and it was very sweet. Very happy for them. Very happy for all of us, honestly.  

moved house! It was a full on few days of moving and cleaning and I’m only just now recovering from the sheer physicality of carrying so many things up and down stairs, but it’s been absolutely worth it. Still more to go as far as unpacking and set-up, etc., but we’re getting there. 

had a staff photoshoot for the new year at work. Not actually a big deal or anything, but it was validating to know that I’m going to pass my probation in a few weeks and be a full member of the organisation. It’s so nice to have a job I love this much.

saw some cool theatre! On the evening of settlement, we went to the ballet, and then last week we saw the opening night of a neat season show at work, and then were really good friends and watching a friend perform in The Crucible even though it started at 8pm and went for like three hours. (The play was actually good, but still. That’s so late. I’m old).

went to the slam. It’s been a few months since I’ve been, so it was great to go back and be a part of it. New poem went over pretty well. Very timely for Hallowe’en.

got broken up with. So it goes! I make a point of not being interested in people who aren’t interested in me, so that’s really for the best. Would have been preferable to happen sooner, really, but everyone’s got to figure things out in their own time, I guess. 

In November, I will:

finish moving in. That includes getting all the new furniture set up, arranging the nbn, unpacking the boxes, arranging the bookshelves, fixing up the wardrobe situation, start putting art up on the walls, general tinkering and improvements. 

poetry reading. One last month got cancelled for weather, and the other is actually this month in a couple of weeks. A bit nervous since some people way more known than me are probably going to be there doing their poetry, but that’s okay. 

thesis! Working on this chapter got absolutely trampled by the everything else of October, so I’m putting time in this month to get it finished. Then it’ll be the final chapter in December and time off in January. So close to the finish line, I can almost grasp it.

finish out probationary period at work. Five months went so fast. It’s funny how quickly it’s felt like I’ve always been here. A couple of coworkers mentioned it the other day, and I was so delighted that it felt that way for them too.

ttrpg writing & editing. It was just supposed to be editing but I’ve just been asked to write a starter adventure for the game, so that’s the creative goal for November. Needs to be done by the end of this month. 

medical appointment. It’s at least several months overdue at this point and I feel a little guilty because I knew that, but there just wasn’t a convenient time to be told something like, “you’re going to have to stay off your feet” or “we’re going to have to run tests etc. etc.” especially because that tends to get expensive when specialists are involved and, knowing my luck, specialists may in fact be involved, so I kept pushing through and ignoring the signs as much as possible. But regrettably I do have to face it and figure something out because based on the last... couple of years (?) but especially the last twelve months or so, it’s only going to keep deteriorating if I don’t. So I’ve booked the first step and we’ll go from there. 

my birthday! I’m twenty-nine in less than a week and I feel really great about it. Definitely viewing this next year as the designated victory lap of my twenties. 

start thinking about next year’s resolutions. It’s a little way off still, but it’s a good time to consider what the goals and dreams to strive for next year will be. 

[ozma914]

Hillary's Bra, and Other Halloween Scares

 Halloween is the scary holiday, timed perfectly to arrive just before the two scariest spots on the calendar: winter, and elections.

It's hardly surprising, then, that one popular Halloween mask is that of the politician. One year I dressed up as Hillary Clinton, stopped all the other trick-or-treaters, and collected 28% of their candy. The bra was kind of binding, though. The problem is, half the people don't recognize political figures, and the other half get too scared.

"What costumes? We just finished some barbecue ribs."

 My main criteria for choosing a Halloween costume was always warmth. In northern Indiana, it's not unheard of for Halloween decorations to be under a layer of snow by the end of October. Any Hoosier parent will tell you the main challenge in designing a costume is incorporating a winter coat and snow boots. Dressing as an astronaut is very popular.

As for me, I stopped going out on Halloween when I got old enough to buy candy at the store, turn off the porch light, and sack out on the couch in a diabetic coma. Preferably while watching a really awful Godzilla movie.

The last time I dressed up for the holiday Emily and I went to a Zombie Walk, costumed as ... well, you know. On a whim I walked into a grocery store and asked if they had any bran. The clerk said, "Last year you were way scarier as Dick Cheney".

"Brains--huh. Nothing there."

 We always tried to do costumes on the cheap because, well--I'm cheap. So we scrounged around the house, looking for something that could be worn over insulated long underwear. For instance, my adopted brother Martin once gave me a bag of hand-me-down clothes. We don't have the same fashion sense, what with me being a white small town boy and him a black guy from Fort Wayne, which is a big city by my standards.

Most of the clothes did class me up, a little. But I also found a uniquely loud puffy shirt, and a pair of oversized parachute pants that button all the way down the side. No, I never saw him wear them in public--I suspect he was messing with me.

That gave me two choices: Go to Halloween as a stereotypical 70s disco black guy, or a clown. I'll never be politically correct, but you can guess which one I did NOT go as.

A rare photo of me outside in November.

 Another choice was something my mother bought for me years ago, back when she (correctly) assumed I needed to get more fit. It's this silver foil costume designed to hold in body heat, like a personal portable sauna. I used it once on the treadmill and lost twelve pounds in thirty minutes. I could have gone as a zombie without needing makeup, if I could walk in a straight line, which I couldn't. Still, a little silver makeup, an aluminum foil hat, and: tah-dah! I'm a space alien.

If I ever trick-or-treat again I'll choose that outfit. Any candy I eat will sweat out of me by the time I make it home. Besides, I'm bound to stay warm no matter how cold it gets outside. Since my one and only goal from October through March is to stay warm, I could celebrate Halloween for months to come, even as political campaigning leaves me cold.

And if that doesn't work, I still have Hillary's bra.

 Remember: When you don't read our books, the Wicked Witch melts. You don't want to clean that up.

http://markrhunter.com/ https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

[yourmcu]

Birthday

Pairings: The Avengers x  reader

Summary:

It’s your birthday and the team gets creative on how to surprise you, putting their acting skills to the test.

Word count: 2,350

A/n: just a little something because,, well,, it’s my birthday *runs away* also it’s cheesy, hopefully it makes sense lmao

Warnings: uhhh brief mention of explosion? mostly fluff

The Avengers wanted to get creative for your birthday this year. For the few years they've known you they picked up on things about you. One, you paid no mind to your birthday at all and just considered it a normal day like the rest of the 365, Tony took note that you hated parties, at least the really big ones, something that involved only the team would be good.

Okay, you sound like a party pooper, but that isn't the case; it's not a crime to just... not want to have a grand celebration, right? And people singing the 'happy birthday' song to you too while you just sit there in silence. It's awkward, you once told Natasha. It’s also awkward and hard for you to receive presents even though that’s what birthdays are all about, you’re still getting used to it since you knew someone like Tony Stark.

Well, the team think you're an amazing friend and they all treat you like family. They're so glad they met someone like you.

You're immediately called to the conference room on that day. Only to find the team arguing and pointing fingers at one another.

You kinda just slot in, sitting on the chair you usually sit on whenever there's a meeting or mission briefing. Glancing around, you try and find out what they're fighting about.

Security. Suits. Brief mention of Ultron. Rhodey busying himself with phones, probably making a lot of calls. Natasha and Clint talking among themselves, only raising their voice whenever they're included in the conversation which mainly consisted of Tony and Steve arguing.

"Suit up, get the jet ready." Steve dismisses but before he could walk out himself you raise your hand.

"Hey, sorry, I just woke up," you say sheepishly but coolly at the same time. "What happened, is everyone supposed to go? Can I read the file?" Because if this is an Avengers-level threat that required everyone, you'd want to know all about it.

His sharp and expression softens slightly when he looks at you. "No file, I'm afraid. Some of the compound's security protocols have been compromised, someone hacked in." He proceeds to tell you how they particularly had interest in Bruce and Tony's lab so the other rooms were untouched.

Apparently, they took blueprints and materials, maybe a handful of Tony's suits.

But if you think about it, those two carelessly letting the security to their lab loose? Highly unlikely...

You push the thought to the back of your mind and nod when Steve tells you to get ready. Stark tech can be dangerous in the wrong hands, after all. Let alone the Iron Man suits.

Fortunately, those things have trackers. Leaving you to wonder again why those idiots don't even try and take them off so they won't tracked?

Sat on the floor of the jet while everyone was strangely quiet but once again you didn't pay any mind, you sharpen a few of your knives. Natasha sat on a stool near you, idly picking her nails. An hour into the flight you furrow your brows and look around.

"Are you guys okay?"

"Yes," Tony states quickly and a matter-of-factly. They all share glances before he continued. "It's the tension. Sorry. My fault."

"It's not your fault, Tony," Bruce starts.

"I'm sorry, to whom were those stolen suits again?" Steve speaks up as well and you could tell it's gonna be a full blown argument again.

"Now hold on just a second-" Tony faces the super soldier to counter.

You merely blink, not expecting a simple question to turn out like this. Clint just glances from the pilot's seat and Natasha almost cracks a smile by the look of your face. If only you knew it was all fake, all planned. But what does she know? You're a spy too, maybe you've figured out what they're up to and decided to play along.

Sad to say you're still oblivious. Maybe the fact that you only slept three hours last night is one case. You wanted nothing more than your bed right now.

Heck, not one of them wished you a happy birthday but you didn't notice at all.

Tuning out their bickering you sit down next to Natasha who's the only one not in the argument.

"I haven't seen Wanda all day," you say and she turns her head to face you. "Or Sam, or Bucky."

"Probably not back from their mission." Natasha answers promptly.

You frown at that. "Steve made this sound like an Avengers-level threat, and it is, shouldn't they be here?"

You don't wait for a response, opening up a globe-shaped hologram that shows where the jet, represented by a blinking dot. Your eyes slightly widen when you see the target location which is one of the places you've been dying to visit your whole life.

Maybe it's just a coincidence. You definitely didn't expect to visit it for the first time on a mission though.

Natasha clears her throat. "Hey, have you read the book I gave you?" She subtly closes the globe up when she catches your attention.

You shake your head bashfully. "You know I'm a slow reader. Give me two months then I'll come back to you." You laugh. Natasha smiles and tells you to take your time. "Have you read the book I gave you?"

"I loved it."

"I knew you would!" You say excitedly and the next few moments you discuss about the specific book. She's just glad you didn't ask any further questions about the location.

--

All of you split up once you reach the base but Rhodey and Bruce stay in the jet as backup. The place reminded you so much of the old Avengers tower, only with darker themes. You're paired with Clint who you follow to the side of the building, with surprisingly no cautiousness. He just... ran in, entrance deserted of guards.

You all had a digital, tech checklist to see what was stolen including all the suit names. So far you've searched two drawers now and still no sign of any agent or guard. But it's weird since the others are clearly doing their part on their floors. Thuds, footsteps and sometimes banging sounds could be heard all around.

“Finally," you mutter when you hear footsteps behind you, spinning around so suddenly to surprise your enemy and take him down with ease. You raise an eyebrow when they don't put up a fight at all.

Clint was in front of a computer when you peek in to one of the rooms but he waves you off. "I'll meet you on the next floor. This'll take a second."

"One suit on the roof!" you hear Steve grunt through your earpiece.

"Remember to remove the arc reactor, that'll shut them down for sure." Bruce reminds through everyone's comms.

You hear Tony let out a noise. "Might have a problem with that, Banner, they're all reprogrammed."

Expecting the man with seven Ph. D's to worry, it only took him a minute to respond back. "It's your tech. I don't believe they could do that completely especially having them for only twelve hours."

"In that case," Tony sighs. "There should be a kill switch under one of their reactors."

"Which one?" Natasha grunts.

The deafening silence from Tony's line explains it.

You fight your way though the thugs which again, don't put up a fight. Sometimes you throw one punch and they're out cold, leading you to believe the intense training Bucky insisted you do worked. The only tough ones were the Iron Man suits themselves.

Ripping out the arc reactors wasn't easy. You had to use all you force. On the second one you encounter it got the upper hand and blasts you through a wall, the impact sending sharp pain to your head and back.

You hear metal thumping of a suit so you get back up and attempt to get your hands on the Iron Man in front of you.

"Hey, hey. Same team. Look," Tony grips on your wrists and lifts his mask up. "You alright?"

“Yeah," you pant, relaxing a bit. "Yeah. One of them got m-"

"We just discovered a bomb, northwest," Clint says. By ‘we’ he means him and Natasha. The redhead speaks right after. “Two and a half minutes. How many suits left, Friday?”

"Only one more suit is fully functional."

You get out of Tony's hold and sprint up the stairs. "I got it."

He smiles to himself. The plan is all coming  to place.

As soon as you enter the room you dodge a blast from the much bulkier Mark XVI. Of course they'd want to make the stealth suit more powerful. You launch yourself towards it, stomping on an arm while trying to dodge blasts from the the other one.

"Y/N! Fifty seconds!" Steve shouts in your earpiece.

You could've just jumped out, leaving the compromised suits here to be blown up but being under pressure made you panic and set your only goal to find the switch.

The suit could still set off a blast from the arc reactor so you couldn't really get your hands on it without losing a freaking arm.

"Get out of there!”

But you didn’t have enough time. So you just curl into a ball against the wall, accepting your fate.

A pop did go off. Loud, but you didn't feel yourself torn into pieces right after. You also heard a bunch of aye’s and oh’s. Redwing whirs by to your head to drop off a birthday hat.

"Happy Birthday!”

Your eyes fly open. Turns out the only thing inside Mark XVI was confetti. Natasha walks over to you to inspect and make sure you're alright.

"What the hell?" Your eyes widen at her, then at everyone. Sam and Bucky were now standing with them, smiling at you amused.

"I think she's in shock.”

“You think?”

Steve glares at Tony with a hint of amusement. "I told you it would be too much."

"Trust me she prefers something like this instead of a big party. Don't you, Y/N?"

"What do you mean?" You take off the hat and clutch it between your hands, appreciating Natasha rubbing your back as you try to collect yourself. "How is none of this real?"

"We basically faked a mission for you." Rhodey says.

You look around all the rubble. "This building, the people, suits-"

"Bought the place," Tony states. "Hired stuntmen, did a few tweaks on the suits...”

"God, why would you do that?" You bury your face in your hands, not knowing if you should be laughing or crying. "I punched those guys!"

"They'll be fine, they signed up for it."

You gently get up and brush off some confetti off your knees.

"But back at the compound... you guys were yelling at each other and during the whole thing you all sounded serious," you point out. "Was that all part of the act?"

Especially when that 'bomb' was about to go off. Steve's panicked voice made you scared for your life, only to know that it was all fake.

They all show signs of agreement, laughing.

"We'd make such great actors." Natasha smirks.

"Alright, the cake isn't going to blow itself." Clint walks up to you with said cake and you meet him halfway.

Everyone gathers around and before they could inhale to sing the stupid song, you cut them off. "You all know I hate to be sung at. Can we just get this over with?"

They all burst out laughing, you giggle in the process, blowing out your candle. You all group hug right after. The laughter makes you miss the sound of faint thunder outside.

"Look who's late." Bruce points out.

"Yes, I got here as soon as I can, my apologies." Thor smiles sheepishly.

Your ears perk up at the all too familiar voice of the god of thunder. Moving everyone of the way, you leap to hug him. "Thor!"

"Happy birthday, dearest Y/N." He grins and pats you on the head. "I'm afraid my - I mean - our gift, is with Loki at the moment."

"Enough with the formality, I’m just glad you’re here.”

Peter rings up Tony to tell him everything's set up at the huge building they rented for your low-key party. Just the Avengers. Peter, Vision and Wanda were in charge of setting things up over there, from decorations and food. Sam and Bucky also helped a bit before they arrived at the fake base.

So you all get into the jet again, this time you look at the windows in awe to see what the city's like. You also asked a bunch of questions on how they pulled something stupid but unique fake mission like that.

Once you've reached your destination, the place was simple yet big enough to fit everyone. Tony really took notes for this year. You didn't like anything too fancy or elegant, and you didn't like huge-ass parties with hundreds of people you've never met before.

Here you're with your family eating, drinking booze and playing games, generally having a good time.

You give the other five Avengers big hugs. Vision's never usually a hugger but for you he made an exception just for today. Everyone was surprised when he lifted you off your feet and spun you around.

"Hugging has a lot of good benefits," Vision says when he lets you go. "Astounding, I know. It is recommended eight times a day, hopefully you've already gotten that much."

You giggle at his remark and Wanda rolls her eyes playfully. “Thank you, Vision.”

“Splendid, that means I don’t have to give you one.”

You turn around to see the god of mischief himself carefully hand you a wrapped box. Loki chuckles when you smile at him. “Happiest Birthday.”

“Loki.... you know you and Thor didn’t have to-”

“Thor? That one’s from me. I assure you.”

“Y/N!” You hear Tony call from the other side of the room. “It’s time for presents, little miss. Good lord this looks like Christmas morning.”

-

unfortunatley i am that extra to post a birthday fic woo hoo

[itsallyscorner]

just like magic with marvel cast, the vibe is----- a perfect song for a lil b*tch with a good heart and a sarcastic mouth

just like magic is the song we ALL need for 2020😌 Start manifesting ya’ll🖤 Also thank you sm for the request I am so so sorry this took so freakin’ long😭 Love u, happy reading🖤🖤 Tried to add my own lil twist to your request:)

(A lil different from the request, but I tried to make the reader have a bit sas.)

💌.

just like magic

Growing up within the Marvel Cinematic Universe was probably one of things you were most grateful for. When you first started out you weren’t that social. You were new to the business, you didn’t know anybody and you were intimidated by every single actor you crossed paths with.

At first you didn’t feel like you fit in. You felt as if you were a burden to everyone else. You barely talked to anyone which made the others approach you out of force by the Russos. Everyone around you was talented while you were just some newcomer who had jack shit as experience. The first few years you were insecure of yourself mentally and physically. You weren’t as pretty or fit as the other women in the MCU nor did your skills live up to theirs. Which led to some unhealthy habits. Plus there were haters and movie critics who would say horrible things about you and your acting.

You had a rocky start unlike Tom Holland and even Lexi Rabe. Until one day when you realized that you had to change how you were thinking. It took you a while but all that negative thinking you were doing was only bringing you negative energy. So when you had a break from filming movies, your number one goal was to improve yourself.

Wake up in my bed, I just wanna have a good day (Mmm, ah)

Think it in my head, then it happens how it should, ayy

Twelve o'clock, I got a team meeting, then a meditation at like 1:30

Then I ride to the studio listening to some shit I wrote (Oh)

You woke up with smile on your face in a sense of calmness. The sun shined bright hues into your room as you got up from your bed. Today was the first day back on set. You guys were finally filming Civil War and you were honestly so excited. As you did your morning routine, you went over how the day would go in your head. You’re genuinely excited to see the entire cast. It has been almost half a year since you’ve seen everyone and you couldn’t wait to be back.

You took one last look at yourself in the mirror. Compared to the previous year, you looked and felt healthy. Your eyes shined and you looked well relaxed. You know like one of those face cleanser commercials? That’s how you felt. You felt like a breath of fresh air.

The ride to the studio took a good 30 minutes but it felt like seconds. You entered the set with a new sense of confidence and pride. The energy was practically radiating off you.

“(Y/n)?” You hear someone call from behind you. You turn around and see Scarlett looking at you.

“Hey!” You greet her as you approach her. You pulled her into a hug, startling her.

“Oh! Hello to you too, honey.” She laughed as she wrapped her arms around you. “How are you?”

“I’m doing great! Life’s been good.” You answer as a toothy grin graces itself on your face. Scarlett’s eyes are filled with shocked. From the previous times she’s talked to you she’s never seen you so loud or open. You were always shy and closed off from everyone on set.

Good karma, my aesthetic (Aesthetic)

Keep my conscience clear, that's why I'm so magnetic

Manifest it (Yeah), I finessed it (I finessed it)

Take my pen and write some love letters to Heaven

Eventually everyone on set caught on to your new attitude. Though they tried to be discreet about their reactions and shocked expressions, you could still see how they were caught off guard by your sudden change of nature.

Anthony watched as you conversed with Elizabeth and Scarlett on the couch in Robert’s “village” . You were probably the most smiliest person in the room beating Evans, who was eating his lunch.

“She’s like different. But in a good way. It’s like she’s bloomed.” Anthony thought out loud to the men beside him. Chris (E) and Sebastian look in your direction.

“Bloomed?” Chris snorted as he swallowed his food.

“Yeah, like she’s growing into a woman.” Anthony hummed proudly as he went back to his own lunch. Sebastian smiled at you, “I think she’s gained some confidence in herself and finally realized how good of a person she is.”

“If she’s finally realized that, I’m glad she did. She’s like a ball of sunshine, it’s adorable.” Chris smiled proudly at you as your hands move around animatedly while explaining some story to the two women in front of you.

“Y’all think it’s a boy?” Anthony wondered. Sebastian rolled his eyes at his friend. Before he can even respond Anthony is calling you over. You approach the men with a smile and take a seat beside Sebastian.

“What’s up?” You greet them. Chris nods at you as he chews on his sandwich. Sebastian greeting you with a quiet “hey”.

“So who’s the lucky man?” Anthony asks teasingly. Your brows knit together head tilting to the side.

“Man?”

“Yes man, or boy, whatever. Who’s got you feelin’ yourself, (y/n).” Anthony wiggles his brows as he shimmies closer to you. Sebastian, who’s in between you two, cringes at the man to his left.

You didn’t take any offense to the question, knowing that everyone was curious as to why you were so unlike yourself.

You chuckled before smirking at the older man, “Anthony, honey. I don’t need a man to be feelin’ myself. I did this on my own.”

Chris and Sebastian’s mouth drop at your answer. Chris laughed as he pointed out Anthony’s face. Sebastian slung an arm around your shoulder bringing you into a side hug as he laughed with Chris.

“To be fair” Chris began to say but started to laugh, “To be fair, you deserved that.” Anthony’s face went flushed as he nodded to himself. You suddenly felt bad that you put him on the spot.

“Alright, stop laughing at him.” You playfully glare at Chris and Seb. You poke Anthony’s arm, “To answer your question, I’ve just been working on myself. Thinking more positively, I even tried manifestation.”

“You know what, that’s good. You’re taking care of yourself mentally and physically. I’m proud of you for doing this for yourself, we all are.” Anthony tells you as he motions to the two other men.

You look at all three of them, all of them looking at you with pride, “Thanks guys.”

Just like magic (Baby), just like magic (Oh yeah)

Middle finger to my thumb and then I snap it

Just like magic (Yeah), I'm attractive (Oh yeah)

I get everything I want 'cause I attract it (Oh)

As the months passed, the more you evolved into another version of you. You walked with determination, carried yourself with such grace and you’ve gained confidence in your career. You didn’t let your insecurities get to you, instead you faced them and overcame them. You were tired of letting them control you.

Your change in attitude and perspective on life has definitely affected your life in many ways. Manifestation was one of the things that have helped you the most. Writing about your goals and putting that energy out to the world has helped you persevere in your job. You’ve only faced good karma; sending out positive energy and receiving it back from the universe.

So far you’ve been casted in two new projects and have a campaign lined up with Gucci. If you were told a year ago that you’d be working with big time directors and freakin’ Gucci, you wouldn’t have believe them. Life has been unreal ever since you decided to change your life around. But of course you had to thank your Marvel family, without them and their support you probably wouldn’t haven gotten to where you were today.

Looking at my phone, but I'm tryna disconnect it (Oh yeah)

Read a fuckin' book, I be tryna stay connected (Yeah)

Say it's tricky at the top, gotta keep a slim ego for a thick wallet

Losing friends left and right, but I just send 'em love and light (Oh)

As many people recognized your success many people still tried to pull you down. Some fans on social media have noticed your change in behavior and have even praised you for practicing self care. While others still tried to push you off the mountain of success you were currently on and drag you across the ground.

These were the reasons as to why you were barely on your phone anymore. You used to be invested in your phone but after realizing how much negativity it brought you, you’ve decided to slowly disconnect from it. Which led you to becoming more interested into books.

Chris (E) had even brought some of his favorite arts of literature for you to borrow. You were currently on your third book of his, Sapiens A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari. You were sitting outside your trailer in a fold up chair under the shade. Your peacefulness was interrupted by Tom (Holland) who had a worried expression on his face.

“Have you not seen it yet?” He asked you as soon as he was in front of you. Being the two most youngest actors on the current set, you guys were closer to each other than with the adults.

“Seen what, Tommy?” You put a finger in between the pages you were reading to save your spot. Tom pulls his phone out and began to type. He tapped on his screen and turned the screen to you.

“She’s been talking crap about you for days.” You read the article and saw that one of your “friends”, Sabrina has been speaking out about your success and how it’s changed you as a person.

“She’s going off about how the more money you get in your wallet, the more bratty and arrogant you become.” He grumbled as he turned his phone off.

“I could care less, honestly. I know I haven’t done anything to her and if I did I was unaware of it. Plus, she stopped talking to me after I said I couldn’t get her a part in a movie.” You shrugged as you placed a proper bookmark in the book.

“You’re not upset?”

“I mean it’s sad that she’s acting so two faced. But if that’s how she wants to roll, then be my guest. It’s her loss, not everyone has great taste.” You flicked a piece of hair away from your face with your hand.

“You’re not gonna release a statement against her?”

“No, probably just wish her well with her life and move on with my own.” You answered much to Tom’s dismay.

Redesign your brain, we gon' make some new habits

Just like magic (Just like magic), just like magic

Filming has officially ended a few months ago and now you guys were doing press tour for Civil War. Before you were the new and improved version of yourself, you dreaded press tours. Some interviewers were nice and respectful, but there were those who would ask inappropriate questions and were just rude in general. All you could remember during those past tours was wanting to leave those rooms as soon as possible.

The q&a panel at New York had a packed room. There were many journalist crowded in the room shoulder to shoulder. You were sat in between Elizabeth and Scarlett, two of the women who have been guiding you and teaching you about life as a woman in the business. They were also like your older sisters.

The panel had been going smoothly for the first half hour until a man with a snobby face and cocky demeanor approached the mic.

“Hello, I’m Keith and my question’s for (y/n).” He began. You nodded in his direction, motioning for him to continue.

“I think everyone’s noticed how you’ve changed and developed as a person. Obviously something’s changed in your life. So I want to know if you’ve had any intimate relationships with any of the men in the cast?” You were surprised at the man’s question. First it was bold of him to ask such a question and second it was just disrespectful to you and the others on the cast.

“I mean someone’s gotta be fucking you good to make you crawl out your shell.” The man finished shrugging nonchalantly. Robert was about to interject but your mouth was quicker than his. The men of the cast were disgusted at the man while they sat at the edge of their seats.

“Well last time I checked my contract, my job was to act, not sleep around with the men who are part of these movies.” You spoke into the mic. All the attention was on you while the room was at a standstill.

“It’s also very upsetting that you think a girl needs to be fucked in order to be confident in herself. I hate to break it to you but women are completely capable of turning their lives around without the help of men and that says a lot about you, sir. So if I were you, I’d take myself back to my seat and rethink my life because if one of us has to redesign our brains it’s you.” You finished as you placed your mic on your lap. The room was silent until the cast began to clap. This was your first time standing up for yourself, usually Robert or Scarlett would swoop in and save you but this time, you were saving yourself.

You shook your head as you blushed, shoving your head in your hands. You felt some pats on the backs and cheers from your dysfunctional family. You look up and see Scarlett and Elizabeth smiling at you proudly.

“Isn’t she amazing?” Robert asked the crowd as he hugged you. The crowd cheering you on.

Just like magic, your life felt like a dream come true, knowing that you were worth it and enough for the people around you and for yourself.

[kaypeace21]

Analyzing the 5 plays in this drama club poster .From the bts pics of stranger things 4.

So... some of ya’ll know I'm going through the st s4 films given to us by the official st twitter + the films reffed in the show itself or mentioned by the Duffers in interviews .

So I decided to look at the plays mentioned here. Because even if we don't see the monologues in the show directly - the Duffers wouldn't name drop anything unless it inspired them in some way. Similar to films name dropped in the show. Tw : for some dark themes .

This is just a quick little analysis I decided to do since we probably won't get any new st content today (3/22). Nothing too deep. Just mentioning things that caught my interest especially cause these plays have a lot of narrative connections to the st s4 movies I've been watching.

Invitation to a march (Authur laurents)

Reminds me of the stancy/jancy love triangle. "A young woman is having second thoughts about doing the right thing and marrying a respectable , rich, kind, young man with good prospects.By way of a prewedding diversion, this woman becomes interested in the passionate but poor and entirely unsuitable son of a local landlord.Basically, the plot concerns the efforts of Norma Brown to choose between a conventional fiance who "puts her to sleep" but is wealthy (like what her own mother did) or go for this new-poor guy. The play is principally interested in how this youthful love triangle affects the three mothers involved (whether the kids like it or not)

12th night (Shakespeare)

 - viola (el) wrongly assumes a family member (hopper) is dead. She dresses up as a man named 'cesario'. A girl named Olivia falls for 'cesario' (violet dressed as a man). "Finally, when 'Cesario' and Sebastian (violet's twin brother: assumed to have drowned - Will) appear in the presence of Olivia there is more wonder and confusion at their physical similarity. Taking Sebastian for 'Cesario', Olivia asks him to marry her, and they are secretly married in a church. Cough if Olivia is 'straight' cause she fell for Viola (as a doppleganger dressed like her twin brother).Mike being into el who multiple characters in s1 said looked like a boy and specifically like Will is...suspish and a hint he's not straight lol. just like Olivia they're both into guys . plus, this play just has a butt load of love triangles (ugh i hated that aspect). There was also romantically coded letters (which was in the s4 films) . One character is also thrown into an insane asylum and framed as 'insane'.'Pretending that Malvolio is insane, they lock him up in a dark chamber. Feste visits him to mock his insanity'. We all know the psych hospital will be narratively important- talked about it more here.

The seagull (Anton Chekhov-russian)

similar to how I believed s4 will show m*#even already broken up since the months between s3-4 : act 3 (s3) ends with Nina begging for one last chance to be with Trigorin before he leaves/moves away. They kiss and make plans to meet again in Moscow.And in act 4 there's a timeskip where it shows they've been broken up for a long time between acts- and its established they never actually loved eachother. Do i even have to spell out why this parallels the m*#even ending in s3? There is also a play within the play (this is common in a lot of the st films- they have plays- or a story within a story- which illustrate certain themes or emotions of the characters within said film : blackswan, children of paradise, highschool musical, Rushmore, book of Henry, welcome to marwen, never ending story, romancing the stone, wet hot American summer, etc).The play is Konstantin's latest attempt at creating a dense symbolist work. There is also alot of love triangles in the seagull. TW!: for se#ual ab*se/su*cidal thoughts/ inc*st (here and in other play segments). The seagull motif reminds me a lot of Jonathan's rabbit story.Konstantin romantically into Nina shows up to give her a gull that he has shot. Nina is confused and horrified . Trigorin sees the gull that Konstantin has shot and muses to Nina on how he could use it as a subject for a short story: "The plot for the short story: a young girl lives all her life on the shore of a lake. She loves the lake, like a gull, and she's happy and free, like a gull. But a man arrives by chance, and when he sees her, he destroys her, out of sheer boredom. Like this gull."  This immediately reminded me of jon's rabbit story and some of the movies on the s4 list . Like in forrest gump- Jenny (who is poor) was se*ually ab*sed as a very young girl by her father. As a child she runs away into a field-away from her alcoholic father yelling at her -there she prays that she can "be a bird so I can fly far far away" .

Jenny as an adult struggles with this unresolved trauma- being with ab*sive partners, doing dr*gs, and having su*cidal thoughts . She as an adult when contemplating su*icide, jokes 'you think i can fly like a bird ?' while looking down at a bridge.God-i'm worried about jonathan (Jenny was also a musician sort of like jon). In another s4 movie example ' mystic river ' :(in the 80s) a preteen baseball playing boy is r*ped by men in the woods. He later says he wishes he could become an undead monster to not feel the pain of that experience - cause quote " if I'm not human anymore maybe the pain will stop" (Will) . slightly off topic but he also has another personality, imagines a alternate word that dissappears when he turns his head. And as a less direct animal parallel to the play - the boy from the film also imagined his perpetrators as monsters and wolves to cope.In 'getout' the photographer character sees a dead deer in the woods and it represents a parent/his own childhood tra*ma relating to his past. similarly in 'prince of tides' the 2 siblings as kids were ra*ed by men. The older brother remembered it and the younger sibling developed DID (so didn't remember but she would draw wolves- as the perpetrators/villains in her picture stories she created . In the film they also had an ab*sive dad and were very poor. She also tried k*ling herself multiple times-but started to get better after remembering the source of her pain and trauma.  There is also the theme of multiple attempted su*cides in the play- and the play ends with yet another attempt- and the audience is left unaware of the artist's fate at the end of the play.

The tempest (Shakespeare)

Prospereo - (the perceived antagonist) is a wizard with monstrous looks, storm powers , and ability to create monster-dogs

He wants revenge on a man who tried ra*ing his family member & revenge on his other family member who wronged him years ago. I mean... pretty much my did theory.But in the end.Prospero decides to show his enemies the mercy that they did not show him twelve years earlier. He tells Ariel to bring the men to him, he will restore their sanity and then renounce magic forever.Prospero breaks the spell that the men are under .

Diary of a scoundrel (Alexander Ostrovsky-Russian)

-  I suppose this could loosely relate to Jonathan? Glumov, is a young man from an impoverished family lacking status seeking entrance into society's pampered class. A 19th-century Russian scoundrel must scheme his way out of his meager life in a small apartment -whatever it takes.He has a quick mind and some talent for seeing through the hypocrisies of people around him ( Jonathan does make a lot of social critiques about society). That gives him some advantages. A tale of one man's mission to finagle his way into upper-class society and find a cushy job. Set in 1874, this social comedy follows Glumov, a Russian youth who begins his ambitious ascent to social esteem. He progresses by wit, guile and rhetoric. Pitting one stupid person against another, he soon gains his ends. To reach these goals, Glumov will lie, flatter, and cater to the vanities of the wealthy. Unable to contain his disgust with his victims, Glumov decides to relieve his unvoiced satirical comments by recording his schemes in a diary. But he is tripped up by his uncle's wife, to whom he has made passionate love on his way to success. At the end of the play, his diary is stolen and his duplicity exposed, but he can nevertheless suceeds. The author is much more critical about the high society itself than about the main character, so the play keeps attracting generations of directors by opening possibilities for political criticism while also avoiding naming names of the current rulers.The play's aim was to overthrow bourgeois tradition and establish a class-conscious art called eccentricism giving a deliberately comic portrayal of reality.

I suppose I notice some possible commonalities-  besides s3 critiquing the wealthy/capitalism in comedic ways . jonathan since s1 has worried about his family's finances / had some resentment toward the rich . In some of the s4 movies ‘orphan’ & ‘ girl interrupted’ someone reads their diary out loud to get at them (in girl interrupted the winona character’s diary even had critiques of her new friends).  Alot of movies also have someone (usually a teen/young adult) making a documentary about their life -which could narratively replace said diary? A few movies have a poor guy adjusting to snobby rich social circles (or being poor and then getting money)- titanic, kingsmen, karate kid, the craft , godfather,  wardogs,into the spiderverse,flashdance, and many others . And movies like wardogs has a poor-young-character do shady things to finacially support his family . There’s also that whole uncle’s wife thing- which makes me uncomfortable for obvious reasons (but I’m just thinking of Lonnie’s creepy gf who was into him). A few movies had the guy’s step mom innappropriately hit on him- orange county & you got mail. And him trying to avoid her advances. Or...not to mention ... it may be a problematic coincidence /trope. But in enter the void -the guy who needs to finacially support his sibling/ does dr*gs -hooks up with his dr*g dealing friend’s married mom (who would give him money).  Or in gilbert grape- the poor teen-who has to finacially support his siblings/single mom-has his endgame relationship be a girl his own age. But before that he h*oked up with a married woman -who would give him money. Don’s plum -young film guy-propositioned by older female film director (for dream job). Not even mentioning the other films that have the guy hooking up with toxic older women (like ‘the graduate’). Or analyze this-where the therapist accuses him of having an Oedipus complex (not touching that one... but the guy in ‘enter the void’ a 100% had one). It’s possible those movies were just- inspo for s3?  A coincidence? Or s3 was foreshadowing for this in s4- but unlike s3 it will accurately be played as wrong  and a sign of Jonathan recreating past tra*ma caused by Lonnie (cough like the photos) /being desperate for money. And not played ‘comedically’ like how it mostly was in s3. But shown as self destructive  (for Jon) and immoral on the Woman’s end. Like... Billy and Jon are character foils. Both are older siblings into rock music, with ab*sive dads who shoved them into walls. Both lose it (and beat steve to a pulp when Steve accidentally triggers their daddy issues). In s3 it’s established womanizer Billy has mommy issues, than he tries ho*king up with someone his mom’s age, and the characters ref ‘back to the future ‘ and Steve incorrectly says it’s about “alex p keaton trying to bang his mom.” This could illustrate his subconscious issues with parental figures/adults cause of Lonnie’s  possible past se*ual ab*se . One film the friend even says to the guy “you don’t have friends!” guy b: i have friends! him:  no you have acquaintances! ADMIT IT! YOU’RE AFRAID OF MEN!I mean-Jonathan liked Nancy- but he initially hooked up with her cause he wanted to prove he didn’t have ‘trust issues’ from his dad. Also it’s prob a bit of a reach (and maybe a coincidence)- but the fact Murray in the same breath compares Steve (Nancy’s then bf) and Lonnie  ... uh... if you think too long about it ... it’s very sinister .  Especially because in s3: muray tells Joyce  that despite her wanting to be with a nice guy, she’s curious about “the brute” Hopper despite him reminding her of a past “bad relationship”(aka Lonnie). Like- yeah connect some dots.  Quite a few films (other than forrest gump) also have the character who (as a kid) was  r*ped by their dad/parent-  begin to do dr*gs/be pr*miscuous as adults since they never learned to properly cope with their trauma (’girl with the dragon tattoo’,  ‘black swan’, and ‘magnolia’). Unfortunately the whole relative doing such things to kid-relatives is in at least 30+ movies. 

Personally, i would be MUCH happier if Jon had a age appropriate romance- and had not a single creepy adult near him. A few movies actually imply Lonnie gets yet another ‘new model’  replacing his gf in her 20s with a new gf- who is ‘barely l*gal” and just turned 18. so there’s that possibility as well- that she’s jonathan’s age.I just want Jonathan-happy &safe. GOD. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

[goose-books]

& while i am posting things today. some more maxwriting, specifically two mini-fanfictions for yves. @yvesdot​ ’s WIP the one and only universe of kay rainier (would recommend! arguments to lovers! he/him wlw! interdimensional (?) shenanigans!) one of which also features an OC i've mentioned a few times on this blog but done historically very little with.

it’s occurred to me in my moment of posting that neither of these pieces have titles. oh well.

THE FIRST ONE

you ought to send yves. some bingo prompts. anyway, i sent them kay + daemons, and then immediately realized i had ideas and thoughts about that, too. so i wrote my own version. unlike theirs, this is vaguely set in the HDM universe, which is funny because i haven’t read HDM and learned everything i know from waya vivji, a single war and peace fanfiction, and also wikipedia just before i wrote it. the notable context here is that daemons are usually the “opposite sex” of their humans, and if i got that wrong do not tell me because i am embarrassed.

Kay is a precocious child; she is twelve years old when her daemon settles. Chesire is a sleek dark mahogany, a ferruginous hawk with a wickedly curved beak and eyes that glitter like beads. He is also male. This, for the Rainiers, is not done; even the absent Ariel, despite his eccentricities, had a properly gendered daemon. It unsettles Kay in a way she will not place for many years; still, as soon as she registers her disappointment (for it must be disappointment, surely; nothing more), she’s awash in guilt.

“How lovely,” she tells him, stroking his glossy new feathers, keeping her voice low less to keep out her father and more because it is only polite. Cheshire bobs his head and flutters his wings and seems, very slightly, to preen. He must be able to sense her uncertainty, the subdued flatness to her voice, but he is a Rainier as well; the polite thing is to ignore it, and he does.

“How curious,” Father says, stroking Fauntleroy’s velvet ears.

“Not unheard of,” the dormouse says from her seat in his breast pocket. Constantine inclines his head slightly; he does not deign to offer more.

/

When the Neighborly enters the house the jackal stalks at his heel, ears pricked at attention, wet black nose gleaming, mouth crooked open in a canine grin. With it comes a distinct smell — not unpleasant so much as it is unbalancing, an earthy scent, filling the foyer as its claws click on the floor. Like his clothes, it is black, head to toe. They aren’t usually. Kay wonders if it’s coincidence, if perhaps he dyes its fur so it will match.

She thinks of it as such — it — because to be frank she is not sure what to make of Atlas, and what to assume about his daemon. During the customary introductions, Cheshire perches atop Kay’s shoulder, and Fauntleroy emerges from her pocket to whisk up to Father’s collar and cling to the fabric to study the Neighborly. He can’t stay quite still. His hands twitch at his sides. He shifts his weight. The jackal paces maddening circles around the room, eyeing the dark walls and the fine wooden furniture, too dignified to lower its head and sniff but not too good to cast judgment without speaking. Every time it passes Kay in its slow inexorable orbit, Cheshire’s claws tighten on her coat.

“It’s a pleasure, Atlas,” Constantine says stiffly, extending a hand to shake with an expression that suggests he’d rather have it removed.

Atlas shakes, grinning easily, a looseness to his motions, and then he tilts his head and says, “Anubis.” In a moment the jackal’s at his side, curling around the backs of his legs to turn its wet smile on Kay’s father. It’s too large; that’s what she decides. How does he take it anywhere? Why hasn’t it learned to behave? Unless this is his goal: to part rooms, to announce his presence as soon as he steps through the threshold.

“Anubis,” she says, the first time she and Atlas are alone. “Like the god?” Atlas and Anubis; it is the sort of half-joke she can appreciate.

Anubis looks up at its name. Atlas looks at it. “I don’t know,” he says. “It was my sister’s idea.” He looks to Cheshire, who has settled near Kay’s inkwell to reorganize her pens. “And this is…”

“Cheshire.”

“Cheshire,” Atlas repeats, piercing glinting as his eyebrow quirks.

“When I was younger, I thought he would be a cat.”

“I thought she’d be a crow. Probably better this way. Crows are poser birds.” Anubis snorts at that, a sound both doggish and human.

“She is… she, then,” Kay says carefully.

“Oh, yeah. Apparently that’s weird.” Atlas leans back in Kay’s chair until the front legs leave the ground.

“Is it,” Kay says.

Atlas’s eyes flit around her face, like he knows what she’s asking; his smirk doesn’t lessen. “Well, women have male daemons, right? Ask Cheshire.”

Kay and Cheshire look at each other. Cheshire fluffs his feathers and says, “This is dull.”

Kay is less certain. She does not smile at Atlas, but some of the edge has smoothed from her voice. “I should like to watch you explain it to my father.”

“If he could take it,” Atlas says. “What’s the mouse’s fucking name again?”

Cheshire steps back and forth, feathers ruffling, until Kay sets a hand out to still him, gentle, comforting. “Fauntleroy.”

“Christ,” Atlas says. “Bless you.” When he catches Kay stiffening, he relents a little, letting the chair clatter back to the floor. “Fits the vibe, I guess.”

“As yours fits you,” says Kay, making it as uncomplimentary as she can.

“Guess my soul’s black,” Atlas says cheerily. He balls up a piece of paper and tosses it to Anubis, who, flopped across the floor, doesn’t move. “Not the weirdest thing about us.”

“Well,” Kay says, “I think it would be rather unfair for me to talk about oddities,” and she takes a small victory in the look they share: not friendship, not fondness, but something like an understanding, reached in the quiet moment before Cheshire hands her another pen and she resumes her work.

THE SECOND ONE

this one’s a bit older but i never posted it until now, at yves.’s urging! i think i was doing... camp nano last year? or something. and couldn’t think of what to write. or maybe i couldn’t focus on my project because i was thinking about my other project, the butch4butch hamlet retelling i still haven’t written. to which yves. said, “write kay x your lesbian hamlet character,” to which i said, “you don’t think i will, but i will,” and i did. so really this is yvesmax crossover fic.

It is annoying, Holden’s habit of dropping by whenever she likes. This can probably be attributed to the fact that Holden, herself, is annoying. Kay can only adjust the items on her desk (pens, mainly) so many times; she is caught up in an aggravating state of waiting but also not waiting, and she does not care for that.

Just as she thinks so, there’s a knock at the front door.

Holden doesn’t ring the doorbell anymore. She did that the first time and Kay came down the stairs a few seconds too late to find Father staring at the creature in his front hall, looking like he didn’t know whether he should be put out or concerned. “I think the earrings got him,” Holden said later, on Kay’s bed, tapping the crosses hanging inverted from her ears. Kay’s opinion was that it was all of her, from the messy post-buzz hair to the propensity for suits to the Doc Martens to the way Holden leans on any available surface.

She opens the door and Holden is leaning against the doorframe. Which looks a little more awkward coupled with whatever she’s carrying under her arm.

“Hi,” she says.

Kay blinks slowly.

“It is late,” she says, spinning on her heel and heading for the stairs. Behind her, she hears the quiet click of Holden closing the door. The grandfather clock in the front hall is ticking toward eleven.

“I never get over how weird this place is.” When she glances back, Holden is peering into the nearest glass cabinet. “Like a little dollhouse.”

“Thank you,” Kay says stiffly. She cannot decide whether she is irritable.

“And this is coming from someone whose parents were devoted to taxidermy.” Holden follows her up the stairs, hands shoved into the pockets of her suit jacket, looking entirely too comfortable here, and Kay decides that she is irritable after all.

“I do not know what you suppose your business is here,” she says. “Especially as it is almost an hour past ten.”

Holden shrugs.

“Do not shrug at me.”

Holden opens her mouth as if to speak, then casts a glance behind her. There’s no one in the darkened hallway; Father is in his office. Still, Holden waits for Kay to shut her bedroom door.

“I know I’m late,” she says, slouching back against it. “Sorry. I lost track of time in the bookstore.”

Kay blinks. “You are late to see me because you went to the bookstore,” she intones.

She says nothing as Holden withdraws the books from under her arm and extends them. “I really wanted to find Carmilla for you,” she says. “Like, the oldest print version I could find.”

It certainly looks old. Kay purses her lips. “I own Carmilla.”

“I know. But, like… it’s vintage.” Holden attempts one-handed jazz hands. “I have a sentence in my notes app from six months ago that just says carmilla but like the old edition.” She shuffles the stack of books. “And then I sat down for — look, I swear I was trying to be timely about it. Trying to be punctual.” She pops the P. “But time isn’t real and I read two chapters of Pride and Prejudice and I don’t know if you own that but it feels like the kind of thing you’d find sexy.” Her smile glitters. “And then — I know The Catcher in the Rye isn’t your thing. But I wrote in this one, so.”

Kay reaches out, very carefully, to take the books. She does own Pride and Prejudice, actually, but she still feels a pang. She flips through The Catcher in the Rye and is met with scrawls of black-ink handwriting, filling up the margins and underlining passages.

“Thank you,” she says, very softly, and moves to set the books on her desk. “You didn’t have to… get me anything.”

“I like knowing that my parents’ money is fueling homosexual agendas,” Holden says pleasantly. When Kay turns around, Holden catches her hand and steps in closer, showing her teeth in a smile. “But I’ll try to be on time from now on.”

“As you should,” Kay says, pulling Holden a few inches closer.

Holden raises a hand to caress Kay’s cheek. “That said,” she says in a low voice, “now that I’ve — what did you say. Now that I’ve fulfilled my business here, I can think of a few things we could do. Unless it’s too late.”

Against her will, Kay smiles.

“I suppose we can extend your stay a little longer,” she says, and their lips meet.

[codenamebooks]

10 Books I Want to Read in 2022

This post is always fun because I can go back to in the new year and see if I actually hit all of them. Or it can help inspire my TBRs going throughout the year if I’m ever stuck and don’t know what to read. These ones specifically though are helping are a bit more... specific than just excited to read or already having them on my shelf. Here are 10 books I hope to read by the end of the year:

1. Puddin’ by Julie Murphy | Goodreads

And with this one many other series continuations of books that I read the first to a long time ago including Stand Off by Andrew Smith and It’s Not Summer Without You by Jenny Han. So many books that I read back in high school have been continued without my knowledge and I need to catch up! I put this one on the list because I really loved Dumplin’ during my reread and loved how Julie Murphy created such an endearing main character. I want to see more of how she creates characters and builds friendships in this book. I hated Callie in the first book so I’m interested in how Murphy is going to make her real and rounded out.

2. Kingdom of Ash by Sarah J. Maas | Goodreads

I say this as an easier way to state that I want to finish the Throne of Glass series this year. I adored the first book and think it’s a reasonable goal to get through the other six in twelve months. Sarah J. Maas easily became a favorite author after catching up to the ACOTAR series and Throne of Glass. I’m hoping this whole series will round it out how much I truly love her writing, and eventually Crescent City after that. So many of these characters I’m already attached to after an introduction and I need to see more of them.

3. Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare | Goodreads

I will be finishing the original The Mortal Instruments series soon and I want to dive headfirst into the rest of the Shadowhunter world. I had no idea until today that this trilogy was published in the middle of the original series. Since I loved the fifth book, I’m excited about what that means for this next set of books. Really the only thing that would stop me from accomplishing this, this year, is that.I have to buy the books, something I’m always good at (buying the right books, that is). But if I love the conclusion to The Mortal Instruments, I don’t think I’ll have any hesitation diving right in to this.

4. The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater | Goodreads

This is a reread that I’ve been meaning to do for about four years now and I’m going to finally have to woman up and buy it full price. I’ve been hoping to find it, in hardcover, at a secondhand bookshop but I’ve had no luck. I only ever made it to the second book but I still miss these characters very much. I’m upset with myself for not reading it during its peak time but I think I will still love it, but time will tell. I’ve loved six of Maggie Stiefvater’s books now (this included) so I think I’m safe to enjoy them again.

5. Daisy Jones & The Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid | Goodreads

An adaptation being released this year that I’ve heard so many good things about saw some of the actors and... I want to see it. I’ve notoriously been bad at reading books before the adaptation is out and I’m trying to get better. I’m also notoriously bad at never watching the adaptation, even if I’ve already read the book. So I’m hoping that if I read this one around the time that it’s out and I see hype about it that it will lead me to actually watching it at the same time as everyone else. But we’ll see about that...

6. Gregor the Overlander by Suzanne Collins | Goodreads

Something I’ve enjoyed doing over the years is rereading books from my childhood and this was a huge one. The last time that I read one from elementary school has been a little while and I think this would be a great choice. This series has five books, which I’m not sure if I ever got to the fourth or fifth (apparently I’ve always been bad at completing series lol) so they could be fun, adventurous, light-hearted reads between the heavier fantasies and new adult books that I’ve been reading. I also think it would be adorable to own them so when I have kids they can read them right from my personal library.

7. A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness | Goodreads

I bought this at a book store while in Austin, Texas because it’s adaptation is already out. As I said under Daisy Jones & The Six, I’m trying much better to stay on top of book adaptations, even if they aren’t ones that my friends and family are watching. I’ve heard good things about this first book but not the second but I’m a huge advocate for making your own opinions. This in general feels different than the books that I typically read so I’m excited to diversify the books that I read. Then, once again, watch the adaptation in a timely matter afterward. 

8. A Darker Shade of Magic by V. E. Schwab | Goodreads

I want to get another V. E. Schwab book in to know if I really do enjoy her writing because I adored The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue. I’ve heard so so so many good things about this trilogy from when it was super popular years ago and now that Tiktok has found it again. A few of my friends have started the trilogy recently too which is what really encouraged me to buy at a local Columbus bookstore in November. It just really helps that I’ve been wanting to read it for almost three years now and now finally have it on my shelf. I’m determined to read more this year so I think I can actually get to it in a timely manner.

9. People We Meet on Vacation by Emily Henry | Goodreads

I’ve been recommended this book so many times and I have it on my shelf from Book of the Month so I think it’s time for me to dive into some adult romance. I choose it for my book in November because a friend of mine had just read it the week before and was obsessed with it. Obviously she didn’t spoil anything but knowing the books that she typically reads, I feel I can trust her excitement. I also don’t think I’ve read an adult romance so this may open a new genre gate for me. I’m excited to hopefully have lots of fun with it.

10. Angela Davis | Goodreads

Something I failed to do in 2021, based on my 10 books I wanted to read this past year, was read Angela Davis. I also use her as a spearhead for more education reading in general. Especially after having her for an event at my university and taking a picture with her, I feel as if I have an even higher obligation to read her writing. The hardest part is I don’t know what to start with, I think next time I go tot a book store I’ll choose the first one I see. Regardless, this goal is quite important to me to, once again, diversify my genres and focuses of reading during this year.

[meichenxi]

Yesterday I was walking back home at 15:30 and it was already dark, and I couldn't help thinking: where the hell has the year gone? It was light until 11 last month, I swear. And predictably, cue thoughts about impending doom/age/passing of time etc

And then I stopped because. I was thinking: oh god, in ten years time I'm going to be thirty two, that's like, CHILDREN age.

But how much have we done in the last ten years??

I mean: grown up (bit), dealt with school, dealt with love and loss and friendship, left school behind, made a new beginning, navigated the beginning of adulthood. That's not nothing.

But how much time did we have age twelve for the things we liked compare to now? How much responsibility? How much freedom to be bored, without the distraction of a phone or the internet, to go outside or engage in creativity? I think it's time we cut ourselves some slack really.

Here's the other thing. I was thinking of what had changed my life in those years that is still applicable to this day: age twelve, I didn't know a word of German. And now, despite not having actively studied it in five years (oops) since I left school, you're telling me that I can read my favourite books in German? The Silmarillion in German?? After five years at school?

I try to be positive a lot of the time and fail to convince myself: but this was genuinely a hugely exciting realisation for me for a number of reasons.

One: five years isn't actually that long. When I despair about getting 'old' (shut up Melissa) and opportunities dwindling, think of how far you could go with a language or any other skill in five years!! We as a community tend to think in terms of short term goals: pass this exam, become conversational in three months, blah blah blah. But realistically what we should be aiming to build isn't language skills, but the mindset and curiousity and habits of someone who enjoys learning languages. And, you know, if it takes you longer than three months to reach 'fluency', wow, Benny Lewis was lying to you, what a surprise. In the long term, the things you invest in will pay off: you just need to take time. Also, if it takes longer than five years? Each language has its quirks, and you have different time and priorities at different life stages. I have spent SO much more time on German than French or Spanish, probably 3x or 4x as much though I did all three until the end of secondary school, and yet I can still read French and Spanish academia easier than German. It's annoying, but it's ok. German academia is hard. Similar with Chinese: reading the Silmarillion after five years of study?? You must be absolutely mad. Bonkers I tell you. That's also OK. I still get excited that I can understand the train announcements - different languages have different priorities.

Two: your brain is incredibly powerful, and passive knowledge, while not the same as active knowledge, doesn't decrease. Ok, it's very much demonstrably true that if you don't speak a language for five years regularly you'll get rusty. That's the case with my German, and that's what is called language attrition, and it can happen in languages you've had from birth as well. Your listening and reading abilities may also suffer from lack of use: but if you have a solid foundation in the language (I don't mean ordering yakisoba), you won't forget it if you don't use it. It just takes a while to reactive it because the neural pathways you have for quickly recalling a word are strengthened less and are thus inhibited to make it easier for words you use more frequently. Any use of those pathways will strengthen them again. There have been case studies of people with severe amnesia who nevertheless are able to function perfectly well in second languages: they cannot acquire new words largely, but they can still use the Italian they learnt as an exchange student in their 20s, as long as they had a strong foundation. You don't forget passive knowledge. I spent five months in Germany, speaking only German, and when I got back to the UK it took me about two or three weeks before I could comfortably speak in English again about what I had done. It also depends on what you're talking about - talking about my school years always came naturally, of course, as would be expected, because I had attended school in English. It would be if it didn't. Talking about my work in Germany to this day remains difficult in English, even though it's my first language, because I have such strong associations of it in German. I don't know how to say 'Freiwilliges Soziales Jahr' or 'Landschulheim' or 'Betreuungsgruppe' in English, because I never had to.

This is SO important. In polyglot circles there is as much talk of maintaining languages as of learning them and that's because it's recognised that language maintainance is critically important. There's also a lot of talk of reactivating languages - of spending an intense short time period re-immersing yourself in that language in order to be able to speak it again. So if you feel your speaking skills are slipping because, well, you don't speak: that's to be expected, and it's completely fine, not something to beat yourself up about.

It's also semi-wild. I don't recall learning a lot of the German I have learnt because I was fairly young, and learnt through immersion with books and so often lack exact translations. But it's wild to me that if you slapped, I don't know, the Brothers Grimm in front of me and asked me to read it, I could do it without any problem. But if you asked me in English to tell you what essentially any of the more uncommon fairytale-like words used in such stories were in German, I'd have absolutely no idea. Pail? Calluses? Scabbard? Gizzard? ? No idea.

But my brain hasn't forgotten; it's just deemed these are not useful words for me to be able to access quickly.

But isn't that actually so exciting?? Think of how long it's taken you to get this far with your target language. That's not actually that long.

And think of everything you could do, and will do, within the next ten years.

加油！

- 梅晨曦

[lyssismagical]

coffee, rainbow pins, and middle school gossip

Parkner Week Day Seven: “13-year-olds are the meanest people in the world” / middle school / jealousy

 Being a teacher hadn’t really been Peter’s plan for his career until he got to his senior year and he got his school-mandatory volunteer hours at the elementary public school and he loved how teaching made him feel.

He’s always loved kids. When he was twelve, he started babysitting for the other tenants in the building for much cheaper than any other babysitter, but enough to get the good pizza every couple weeks.

Later, he spent his summers as a Camp Counselor to make some money and to have something to do all summer, out of May’s hair and giving May a chance to save up money without having his mouth to feed.

He didn’t really think much about it until MJ asked him to start reading to children at the library with her. Apparently, she thinks she doesn’t have a soothing enough voice to read for hours on end, but he reads a lot out loud at school and during Academic Decathlon, and she says his voice is nice and he likes kids enough to hang out with them all day.

And now, as a twenty-four-year-old graduate, he’s got a job as a middle school substitute teacher. He wants to one day be a permanent teacher for a younger grade, but he’s happy being a teacher.

Until he finds out how cruel middle schoolers are.

He gets it, the Science teacher at the school is pretty good looking.

Mister Keener is a young, single guy who’s genuinely smart and passionate. He’s a few years older than Peter, and he’s objectively handsome, but Peter isn’t interested. (He’s totally interested, he can barely keep his eyes off the science teacher whenever he sees him in the Teacher’s Lounge, but that’s not anybody’s business.)

His students seem to have one goal in life. To get Peter and Mister Keener together.

“Have your kids been saying anything?” Peter asks. He watches Harley as he laughs, brewing a pot of coffee. “I was subbing for the phys-ed class and they wouldn’t stop.”

“Yeah, I hear about Mister Parker more than anything these days.”

Harley grabs two mugs from the cupboard above the coffee machine and pours them both a coffee, adding the number of creams and sugar to Peter’s that he likes which makes Peter feel incredibly warm and giddy, and then he sits down across from Peter, passing him his coffee.

“I know! Angela, you know her, I think she’s in your science class period two, she literally talked you up to me for the entire hour yesterday. I tried to tell her that it wasn’t appropriate to talk about it with me, but she wouldn’t listen.”

The science teacher laughs again, bright and warm. “Yeah, she went on and on about you. Apparently, you’re really smart when it comes to English.”

“That’s thanks to my friend, MJ, she was really good at English and reading, and she kinda got me into a lot of it. We still have biweekly book clubs.”

“I’m not super into reading, but my little sister is. I-”

The door to the Teacher’s Lounge is pushed open, with a few knocks. It’s not a teacher who stands there though.

“Harry!” Peter exclaims, shooting out of his chair. He races over to throw himself into Harry’s awaiting arms with a squeal. “I thought you weren’t coming to visit for another couple weeks!”

“I’ve got a long weekend off and figured I couldn’t wait to come see you,” Harry explains quickly, arms tight around Peter’s waist.

There’s an awkward cough from behind them that has Peter spinning around, pulling Harry with him back to his table.

“Harry, this is Harley Keener, the science teacher here. Harley, this is an old friend of mine, Harry Osborn. He’s getting his masters abroad so he can’t visit very often.”

The teacher stretches out a hand to shake Harry’s, offering a polite smile with a murmured nice to meet you before he’s draining the rest of his coffee and standing.

“I should be getting back to class early to set up for the lab. I’ll see you later,” Harley says, offering one last smile before he’s out of the teacher’s lounge.

As soon as he’s gone, Harry leans in closer. “Is he the guy you’ve been crushing on these past couple months?”

“He’s the guy who our students have been harassing me about for the last couple months,” Peter corrects before he admits, “Yeah, I’ve totally been crushing on him. He’s so nice and smart and hot. Can you blame me?”

“You should go for it.”

Peter rolls his eyes, sitting down at the table and gesturing for Harry to sit down with him. “I don’t even know if he’s into guys, or if he has a rule against dating coworkers, or if he’s taken.”

“One, I can’t believe you didn’t notice the rainbow pin on his bag. Two, this isn’t going to be your job much longer. You’re going to get that teaching position at the elementary school. And three, he wouldn’t be staring at you like that if he was taken.”

“Have you met me, Osborn? I don’t have the guts to ask him out.”

Harry rolls his eyes right back. “Have it your way and lose your chances with the greatest looking guy in all of Manhattan, second only to you.”

“Shut up,” Peter says with no heat to his words. “We’ll see.”

* Harley’s acting weird the next couple days.

He doesn’t say as much, and he’s downright pouty for most of their lunches together, frowning down at his food whenever Peter rambles about anything.

Harry starts picking him up from the school, so they no longer have that half hour window to chat while Peter waits for the bus. And Peter catches Harley practically glaring when Peter slides into Harry’s convertible.

After a week of these strange interactions, Peter finally caves and pulls one of his students aside after class.

“I know I really shouldn’t be asking you, but has Mister Keener said anything about me lately.”

Katie grins mischievously, beckoning a few of her friends over. “Why? You want him to be talking about you?”

Liam and Emily giggle, leaning into each other behind Katie.

“No!” Peter gasps, shaking his head quickly. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“He was acting pretty weird last week,” Aryssa pipes up shyly from where she’s still sitting at her desk. “Quiet, graded our test pretty harshly. He gave a couple people detentions when they wouldn’t stop talking about you.”

“Really? And he didn’t say why he was acting weird?”

Liam rolls his eyes. “No, why would he tell his students why he was acting weird? Most of the time, teachers don’t talk this candidly with their students.”

“Well, I’m not going to be teaching here much longer hopefully. And I’m a substitute.” It doesn’t entirely justify it, but the students seem more excited than annoyed by him talking about his private life. It’s what they’ve been asking him to do for months anyway.

The bell rings, making Peter jump. “Okay, dismissed, get to class. Don’t tell him I asked you about him.”

Katie and Emily snicker, looping their arms together before racing out the door.

Peter knows he won’t be able to trust them.

It still surprises him when Harley stops him in the hallway after the school’s cleared out at the end of the day.

“So, I heard some interesting gossip,” Harley starts.

“Did you?”

Harley laughs, bag swaying at his side. Peter takes note of the rainbow pin. “Katie, Liam, and Emily told me you were asking about me. Asked them if I’d been talking about you.”

“Thirteen-year-olds are the meanest people in the world, I swear… It’s just- you’ve been acting weird lately. Like I did something wrong. I was concerned.”

Harley sighs and he sinks to the floor, leaning against the lockers. Peter hesitates before sliding to the ground beside him, shoulders knocking.

“Can I be honest?” Harley asks, frowning down at his hands. “I really like you, but I get it, you’re taken, I’m not going to be upset about that, I just got a little bit jealous of him.”

“Of who? I’m not-” Peter blows out a breath. “Harry.”

Harley’s eyes go wide, sad. “I’m not mad at you and I really do want to stay friends, and I wouldn’t mind getting to know him better too-”

“I’m not with Harry!” His voice comes out shaky and too loud. “I mean, we did date once, like forever ago, back in high school, but we decided we were better off as friends, and that’s all we are now. I liked you, but I didn’t think you were into me, especially after last week.”

Harley lets out a laugh verging on hysterical. “I’m so sorry. I saw you with Harry, and I just jumped to conclusions. But if you haven’t been totally turned away by my jealousy, I’d love to take you out for coffee?”

“I’d love that, yeah. Harry’s picking me up if you wanna take up the offer of getting to know my best friend a little better? We could get coffee the three of us while he’s still in town, and then we could get dinner, just the two of us, on the weekend?”

“Sounds like a fantastic plan.”

Taglist:@littlemissagrafina  @spidey-reids-2003 @romeoandjulietyouwish @c-artara @shadedrose01 @likeaphoenix13 @pj-hermes-tonystark-obsessed  @you-get-killed-walk-it-off @kitkatwinchester  @emo-girl10 @justme--emily  @hold-our-destiny @imalivebecauseirondad @spiderman-peterman @dykeragee @maryserrao @heeeyitskay @parknerandirondad {Let me know if you wanna be added or removed}