#i just got busy and didnt have time or energy to read as much as i wanted to

[stevethehairington]

ya girl just hit her 2024 reading goal.... and it's only february 😂😂😂😂 looks like i DEFINITELY have some reconsidering to do

[thoutisashark]

WOAHHHHHHH

I just saw your writing

YOU'RE SO COOL!!

YOUR WRITING IS SO COOL!!

SO I'M REQUESTING!

Could u also do accidental courtship for the Diasomnia boys too?

PLSPLSPLSPLSPLS

Especially Lilia, pls!

yes of course :)

Accidental Courtship PT2

part 1 was about the beast-men and merfolk

this part will be about the Fae and Diasomnia dorm

this is part 1

this took so long to type becuase im not able to use my pointer finger, i tore my nail in half and have to wear a bandaid that limits the mobility of my finger.

sorry this took so long, and that its been a long time since i published anything, ive been pretty busy

ALSO Im aware that Silver and Sebek aren't Fae, BUT im just having fun, and i feel like because they are always around fae they would pick up on the habits and culture

so this part will contain......

Malleus, Lilia, Sebek, i cant write silver im sorry :(

so merfolk were stones

beast men was licking/grooming

so the Fae and Diasomnia boys can be... biting? idk like vampires lol.

Malleus:

your gorgeous, handsome, hoy, pretty, socially awkward boyfriend was a Fae, when you first started dating he asked you how much you knew about the Fae, you told him the stories and myths, about how the Fae are mischievous, and lots of times evil, stealing names and lives, he was shocked, and he told you about real Fae culture, he was mostly telling you about holidays, celebrations, and way of life, he conveniently forgot to mention the fact that biting (a common form of cute aggression and a love language) was a proposal of marriage in Fae tradition.

You burst into your boyfriends room, slamming the door shut behind you, he was sitting a dark green fancy chair reading, he looked up at you and smiled, he set his book down and patted his lap, you sprinted over, jumping and launching yourself at him, the energy was unexpected but he was able to catch you easily, you sat on his lap and hugged him, your face nuzzled into his neck

"are you ok my love? you seem... ecstatic"

you told him about your day and how you saw the cutest cat, and how you wanted to adopt it

"i shall get you a cat if you wish" he responded, a look of determination dawned his features

you laughed at his response, you called him cute before biting on his neck gentlely

he stopped breathing for a moment, looking at you in shock "is that all i had to do? offer to get you a cat? we've been together for a a little less than a year, are you sure? im exited, i truly am, but i feel it is to early on for us to marry"

you looked up at him confussed and asked what he was talking about

"r-remember? when i told you about our fae traditions? biting is a proposal?- oh i didnt tell you that part?" he chuckles softly, he brushes your hair back and kisses your forehead softly "sorry you dear, i got the wrong idea about your intentions, but... even so, don't be suprised if i bite you back on day"

Sebek:

you were in the ramshackle dorm, reading a book you had borrowed from the library, you didn't realize at the time but it was due yesterday, meaning you had an overdue library book, and your boyfriend, for some reason, liked to memorize the due date of your books, homework, assignments, etc. so he could make sure you got everything done on time.

there was a firm knock on the door, you called for them to enter and Sebek walked in, he looked at the book in your hands before frowning at you

"wasn't that book due yesterday" he asked, crossing his arms stepping closer to you

"was it?" you responded checking the stamp at the front "hm well damn, it was" you laughed slighly at your mistake

Sebek however, didnt find this funny, he snatched your book away turning around "im returning this"

"im not done reading it though" you jumped onto his back and reached for the book, he stumbled a bit before regaining his balance, he extanded his arm, furthering the book from your grasp, you bit down on his shoulder.

he spun around, forget you were on his back and not on the ground, causing you to almost get flung off, you instintuly bit diown harder, drawing a slight whimper from Sebek "y-y/n, i-i cant, we are so young, a-and you havent met my family, andiloveyoubutimnotreadyformarriage (i love you but im not ready for marriage)

you let go of him, looking at him confused "tf you mean marriage? are you high?"

"y-you bite me! for the Fae's thats a proposal"

"...oh"

"..."

"you aren't a Fae though?"

"oh.... right"

"DID YOU FORGET?" you burst out laughing

Lilia:

he assumed you didn't know Fae customs, your a human from another world, however, when he felt you teeth scrape against his neck he forgot all of that, he was on one knee in a fucking instant

"you want to marry me hmm? you young people and your forwardness" he seemed calm on the outside, but on the inside he was melting, he loved you more than words could ever describe,. when he saw you confused expression his heart sank, his smirk wavered for a moment before returning, weaker than before,

"ah I suppose you dont know, for Fae, you just asked me to marry you" he watched as your face heated up, flushing with red, he patted your head as you apologized for the mix up. he grabbed your hand, pulling you closer to him and placing his lips on your neck, he kissed you softly, before opening his mouth and pressing his small, but sharp fangs against your skin, he bit down, not hard enough to draw blood but enough to make you flinch

"wether you say yes or not is up to you, but the offer is always there" before you could say anything he was gone

sorry that lilias was short, im not the best at writing him...

hope you enjoyed!

requests are open!

[rafecameronzwhore]

Beach time gone wrong

Reader x Nick Leister

Warnings: mentions of blood, glass, hospitals, doctors

Tell me if there's more warnings I forgot

□■□■□■□■□■□■□■□■

It was supposed to be a normal day at the beach

You and Jenna were sitting on your towels

You were reading while talking to Jenna

And the boys [nick and lion] were out in the water surfing

After a few moments you decided you had to go bathroom and since you and Jenna have already been to this beach multiple times you both knew where the bathrooms were [ a/n: ain't no way I'm letting them pee in the bushes 🙄]

You both decided to just walk away and not tell the guys

Time skip

You and Jenna were done with your business

As the two of you were walking back...

You felt a sharp pain in your foot

You stopped walking and looked done to your foot

"You ok, girl?" Jenna asked

"I think I stepped in some glass" you winced at the pain

"Shit, here I'll take you back to the cars and call the guys" Jenna put her arm around your shoulder and walked you back to the cars as you limped

After you sat down in the passenger seat of nicks car [you had the key]

Jenna went back to the main area of the beach to see the guys were back from surfing and were laying on the towels

"Where were yall" lion asked

"And where's y/n" Nick added

"So we went to the bathroom and while we were coming back she stepped in some glass and us now in the passenger seat of nicks car" Jenna explained to the boys

"Is she ok?!" Nick asked with wide eyes as he stood up

"She doesn't look ok, nick,"

Nick ran towards the cars, leaving the others there to pack everything up

When he finally got to the cars, he saw you sitting in his passenger seat with tears rolling down your eyes as you looked at your foot

He quickly ran up to you and asked if you were ok but he didnt get a response

"Nick, it hurts really bad" you said through the tears

"Shh, I know, love, wait, I'll take you to the hospital," Nick said, looking at your foot, noticing how it was bleed way to much

He gave you a towel to try and stop the bleeding with as he quickly drove you to the hospital

Time skip

You and Nick were laying in the hospital bed

Your foot was fine now because doctors had taken the glass out and patched it all up

Nick kissed your forehead and asked "Are you ok my love"

And to that you just nodded your head no having the energy to reply since you were way to comfortable on his chest

A doctor had come in no long after and had dismissed you saying not to wall to much for the next 3 weeks and get lots of rest

And with that nick carried you bridal style back to his car

The end.

SIKE

Meanwhile with Jenna and lion:

"DID THEY REALLY JUST LEAVE US HERE?!?!?!"

The two of them still stood at the beach with no ride and the bad full of towels, clothes and books

Don't worry, they got a ride from Mario because he's everywhere when someone's stranded 😉

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Ok that's it now sweets

I want to thank @amnesique for making the post about how I have no ideas and am brain dead

And @christmas2009 for the idea

[kaetor]

would love love love to hear any thoughts u want to share on the weed smoking grandpas au i absolutely LOVE everything vlr and especially everything here

hi. life is busy so it took me a hot second to answer this but anon i love you so much. I shall explain quark and his weed-smoking grandpas to you to the best of my abilties

so basic premise

so this is an "au" (in that its not DIRECTLY contradicted by canon. but also is) from the minds of me and my bestie remy @argentsunshine (read his ze fanfic) where long story short quark is raised by aoi light and junpei who have been hanging out since the radical-6 pandemic happened

short story long this somewhat connects to 'apocalypse au' which is again, just canon, where at the beginning of the apocalypse junpei finds light (who is looking for clover) and on their way to try and find clover they find aoi frozen in one of those freeze pods

because akane saw the future and knew that aoi would get rad6 and die early on in the pandemic so in akane fashion she put him to sleep and didnt tell him anything

so now these three guys are just kind of hanging together trying to find akane and maybe clover failing to find clover experiencing complex emotions about akane kurashiki. about 35 years later give or take . they find a baby

more random shit under the cut.

aoi is very vehement that young children should believe in santa claus light thinks its pointless and stupid junpei is stuck in the middle of this. "okay santa"s are thrown around in such arguments often. quark isnt really sure what to think

aoi and junpei are taking on more concrete parenting roles while light mostly sits in the background dispensing fun facts and the energy of a wine aunt crossed with an actual grandfather

light field known transgender was partly at fault for the name 'quark' aoi hates this

the major influence light had on quarks upbringing is that one day he looked at aoi "stopped regularly attending school at age eight" kurashiki and junpei "not a great student who then also dropped out" tenmyouji and said someone has to teach this child. and started trying to teach him stuff that's so far above a child's level

from our google doc light aoi and junpei quote " spent a while searching slash forming an increasingly confusing polycule (aoi and light are together light and junpei are not romantically involved and not not romantically involved but a secret third thing junpei and aoi are. good question)"

junpei and light got married for tax reasons but aoi and light who you'd more expect to be married aren't so quark is very confused about what marriage as an institution entails

every time the topic of why him and aoi arent married comes up light gives a whole spiel on why marriage as an institution is heteronormative and outdated and then someone points out hes still married to junpei and light says what of it

anyways theres more to this but its split between an actual google doc and random screenshots of discord dms so that's all for now. if enough people like this post maybe i can bully remy into writing more actual stuff for this au

[hailieshapedbox]

ohhhh i just realized why i have no desire to sleep even though i in fact am getting tired🤪 my cousin was in psychosis for two weeks on coke off meds and two days ago he took a turn and directed all of his pain and anger at me n was talking shit about me saying vile things (mostly about being lesbian) till 4 am two days ago and till 6am last night. walking in the living room where i was juggling a knife and scraping it on our roomates doors, throwing n stabbing oranges around the house till he got 5250’d in the morning. i hope hes having an alright time in there he really needs help and hopefully rehab and hopefully he finally wants the change that he might not know he needs and actually does want. ya had to vent it out guys thx for reading my run on sentence, im actually tryna lead into a better, personal topic and this plays a part on it so i started there. i uh started recovery in AA 3 days ago and im so fucking happy to finally want to take my life back fully into my own hands and have the drive and ambition that i got easily with alcohol (fucking cop out). ik how this sounds to some people, i went to AA and NA for fun when i was in a grouphome at 17 bc it was another way for us to get off the campus and hangout with the other houses (they called them cottages🏡🕯️🎍☺️). so im very comfortable in that environment, it wasn’t an entirely new concept or energy to me, its been about ten years, but this is my first time coming with a severe desire to change and take back my life into my own hands. ya i had drank in highschool (fuckinn middle school too) but i dont think i ever had to drink and drink and drink till i passout and not be able to stop until im blacked out. that didnt happen till i was 23 in such a chaotic livlihood i couldnt stand any part of my reality, work, home, abusive relationship, i couldnt breathe but i could drink. to the point i was delivering weed from the dispensary drunk. it happened again over the summer for all of the same reasons but this time i had come back to my cousins house to get on my feet and ultimately ended up helping everyone else and their businesses and livlihood more than my own and i was drained out, favor not returned gang. i thought i was gonna stop drinking at the end of summer and i did a few times, a week, two a month but the binges were bad and i was in a lot of dangerous situations recently. everytime i thought i was ready, someone would give me a reason to catch a nice break from the chaos circus life, n who would say no to what sounds like bliss? the last time i drank i didnt even want to, i didnt even wanna go out shit, friend called me crying for help, by the end of the night i needed a relief drink joined got physically hurt (7 minor injuries but some are mid😭), stranded they took off w my phone and wallet in my bag, no sweater at 4am upset in a parking lot not tryna take three hour walk home. a ride from a nice lady w a sketchy guy judging me. how the fuck did it happen again, how easy couldve i prevented this. i had already reached out to a well versed friend that i need to get sober, she said she’d be around in a couple days n we would go. i told her again the next day i needed it even more now and we went that night, which she was wanting to bc she liked that specific meeting. well gang that specific meeting is always gonna be the story to the start of my meeting. i immediately got picked to lead and read through out the meeting on a little stage in front of everyone with the key speaker. as i expected haha, never heard of a lottery meeting like that. i made a home that night, i kept eveyones lottery ticket from the raffle that i picked (and the three left over), i hadnt felt so much support in years, and all at once and a whole room full of people.

i know im only three days in but ive been waiting my whole life to be here.

[superpeanutgarden]

Night Blogging

okay, *technically* I'm not using the term right. It's an old phrase from before we called it Shitposting- we blamed all the weird stuff on sleep deprivation and Australians lmao

But it's night, and I'm blogging, so here we are.

so if you've read my other long posts, you'll know I'm in multiple open polyamorous relationships... and that I'm having what one might call "a hoe phase" and an accompanying crisis about if I still have worth if I'm a slut.

Well now im having a whole different (but still slut-adjacent) crisis. Do I even know what romance is????

This didnt come out of nowhere. My girlfriend mentioned that I was dating around as though I was single several months ago. And today she- wisely- brought up that i am at risk of girl bossing too close to the sun. and I had already been thinking about how my sibling had said that our parents didnt really model romance for us, and that we were told that romantic love is just kissing your best friend. And to be clear: I TOTALLY am. I'm not lonely or touch starved or sad or maidenless (or lad-less) in any sense of the imagination.

So... why am I still pursuing people??

The tree i can understand. He's a fun fuck, and he travels the renfaire circuit so I wont see him all the time. No chance of a solid relationship, just a fun easy breezy fling.

The lookout? Similar thing. Super fun to make out with and fine as HELL, but he lives like three hours away and doesnt seem interested in going steady. I can work with that

Max is PolySaturared and we just make out when I'm over for house parties, which isnt as often as I'd like but I'm desperately trying not to have too much of a crush on him (or his wife... or his girlfriend... or his other partner) so it's fine (jesus, maybe I'm not Ace, maybe I am just autistic)

Theres my good ex and my middle school bestie, but they're hella busy and our schedules havent really lined up. Disappointing, but acceptable.

The thing these people have in common is that they are almost entirely unavailable for me to date!! Until literally a month ago I was under the impression that I was just chasing the dopamine of New relationship Energy with ethically renewable sources and I could get my cozy domestic stability from my lovely girlfriends and partner...

And then trumpet guy and I made out at one of Max's house parties.... and Then I went on two dates with The Goblin King after making out with him and the Tree at the same time on NYE. And like??? It's so weird to say that I dont think either of them are stupid hot???? (But only one of the three people I'm dating is Stupid Hot, so there is precedent but?) It feels kinda weird and disingenuous to want to spend more time with these people who I'm not crushing on

And yet im Quickly falling head over clown shoes for trumpet guy. He's cute and fun and he asked me out on a date to dress way fancy and get sushi and go see a musical and???? I had just been telling a classmate that I didnt feel like I had been properly romanced since high school and?????? While I'm an impatient slut, it feels nice to be pursued.

The goblin king is really fucking sweet, and he's got really nice hair, but I'll wait to try talking myself out of liking him until after our next date... (too late, cant unthink that. I'll bring it up in person. He's really cool and I do want to still be his friend, but we both live with parents who would NOT get it so that kinda makes it hard to have solo couple time... or any couple time. It's not like I have to make a choice anytime soon but the dude deserves to know that I'm not sure if there's anything for us beyond friendship and the occasional kiss. Heck, we've only made out the one time and not even just us.)

Anyway, what's tumblr for other than an online diary??

[climaxbattles]

vent dont read (unless the curiousity consumes you i guess. if you know me personally it might suck)

i havent been able to leave the house since may and it seems like every day i get worse and worse

i just cant deal with anything i dont know why

i dont go outside, i cant be alone, i cant even eat too fast/slow or i just like completely freak out

i started therapy and this is the first time ive ever been hopeful about interacting with a therapist but i still kind of dread it every week. im not even sure its helping like maybe shorter sessions would be better but i use so much energy just getting through the day i cant communicate until its too late

i dont even understand what made this happen my only guess is that one of the medications i tried really messed me up (or i have a brain tumor or thyroid problem or something) because a few of them had really really terrible side effects and i almost had to go back to the hospital for the 3rd time in a year, but i dont get why im not getting better when i dont do anything and im not on those meds anymore.

and if it is physical i cant leave the house without panicking like. i dont know how else i would go anywhere to get it checked out unless it got so bad i had to call an ambulance again so they could lie me down and give me oxygen and turn all the lights off and hold my hand again but that also was like very traumatic so im afraid i would just completely break

my friend is over visiting and i havent seen her in forever bc she moved 4 hours away and i cant even bring myself to hang out with her because she brought her boyfriend and i already have problems talking to anyone but her even though i fucking live with her family and leech off them. so im just hiding in my room

i dont really talk to anyone much anymore and i dont even know if its Because i want to be left alone or if its something making me lonely/im upset about. it also kind of seems like people r moving on from me but that could be like entirely self inflicted bc one on one conversation terrified me even before and now i like have panic attacks if a breathe wrong let alone attempt something thats always scared me

i think like some of them maybe also have a seperate discord server i wasnt invited to. this happened literally months ago where i accidentally found out and its not really my business i guess. and i dont even rly know if its true or even used anymore

it just feels bad because i lost a friend of like 7 years and a friend i really related to but didnt know long because i took their side in multiple arguments and i dont regret the 2nd one but the first one kind of still sucks. the people i lost had a lot of their own problems that made them unpleasant but idk. the first person was kind of always open to talking to me even though we r both fucked up and wouldnt ignore me even when i sometimes would bc of my own problems

and then if there Is a second server thats kind of why the second person lost their shit. so its like Maybe they were right in a small way (they were completely fucked though they would like suicidebait randomly and ive never had any other friend do that so its still for the best i think)

it seems like i keep losing or pushing away good friends kind of. or maybe im bad at all friends idk. ive never enjoyed socializing so it seems like my fault probably

i honestly just wish i could get on food stamps and/or disability on top of medicaid but i think people are still insisting i can go back to the way i was before. idk if thats possible. i just want to be able to stop taking As much Directly from other people and maybe like. buy legos or a 3d printer or something. i dont have much to do in the house 24/7 and my computer is getting old. and i think the internet is making this all worse but thats like my only activity

im so tired

[kithtaehyung]

🎧💌not sure if this anon is taken but i got some things i desperately need to get off my chest.

first of all, i’m sorry it’s taken me so long to speak up but also the fact that you’ve brought me out of hiding, MY GOD UR GOOD.

i’ve been a silent reader for a while now, i don’t even know how long. over a year maybe??? whatever, i just know that i stopped by and never looked back. (UR STUCK W ME SORRYYYY)

i’ve been meaning to say something for so long but your writing has become so incredibly personal to me that it scared me a bit. does that make any sense? like being here and experiencing this little community you’ve got felt like a dream. i feel so safe here, and seeing you go back & forth w others also just brings a smile to my face.

realized a while back that i was doing a great disservice by not expressing just how much you’ve influenced my silly little life. i’m doing this thing you see, where i’m trying to be more vocal you know, because wow communication does wonders. so here it goes..

your writing is incredibly intoxicating. your ability to suck readers into this little world of yours? deadly. (NEED YOU ARRESTED IMMEDIATELY).

3tan is what originally roped me in but it also gave me the opportunity to explore you as a writer and i’m eternally grateful that it did! your stories are some of my favorite, hands down. i was fairly new to this world when i found your writing, and when i say you set the bar so high.. yeah… thank you for that tho. truly. changed my life.

it’s been an honor to see you grow and i cannot thank you enough for letting me experience the joy that is your writing. excited to see what the future holds for everyone involved. even though we all face our own realities, it’s nice knowing we can show up here together and just shout into the void. wouldn’t have it any other way :]

anyways, just wanted to stop by, let you know i’m OFFICIALLY ur bitch (mainly yoongi’s tho DAMN HIM), and extend my gratitude for all that you do.

sending love 𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃

(SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG I DIDNT REALIZE UNTIL NOW BUT THANK U FOR BRAVING THRU IT KISSES xx)

AHHH HELLO, LOVE🥹🤍 that anon emoji combo isn’t taken so of course you can have it! It’s all yours🥳

Apologies that it’s taken me a few days to answer! When I get such amazing messages like this, I want to be sure I respond with the same energy and attention. And fkskfldl it’s been busy as hell so I finally have some time to really sit and thank you for all the kind things you’ve said🫂

First, thank you for even reaching out! I know it takes so much courage, even if you’re sending a message anonymously🥺 but you did it and I’m proud and now UR STUCK WITH ME TOO HAHAHA SORRYYYYY🤪👍 it’s all fun and good vibes here, yeah? The community is what makes everything special. Because we’re all just people getting through life, and this is a place we can just relax and have a good ass time🍊

And thank you for reading three tangerines and staying here for the long haul! It’s been a ride and even if I didn’t know you were with me, I felt a lot of energy from y’all so you have helped me, too.

I’m also happy that all these stories and words and characters have helped you in some way. You’re the reason I keep going despite all the.. idk, shit, life throws😅 Because that’s what these fics are all about!

And UR MINE😤 YOONGI GET IN LINE!!! sending you all the love and i hope you keep enjoying your stay!

[fetabathwater]

would llonvyne ever have a family? kids, partner, pet dragon? or does that depend on the vampirism and super charged daedra soul?

ive actually been debating inflicting her with the woe of child/ren but also demiprince type bc who knows whaddahell is going on there. smth smth stop fucking around and finding out with daedric princes etc etc. but yeah like. idk. i genuinely havent thought much further ahead than kind of mentally spacing out each campaign/dlc/thing that is going on in her life, kind of picking up npcs that i think kind of clicked in some way with dialogue and llon. she has inadvertently managed to become a mother hen to a number of young murderous teens/young adults, but like i dont think of it as 'mothering' more like. hm. i dont wanna classify it as being all 'big sister' energy either that i guess is stereotyped into expectation. she's there, she'll help, she is going on her own way but she'll keep in touch if ur bird manages to find her and deliver the letter? or eventually she'll return to her home and read everything back.

like idk with also definitely running with being a silencer and . ok forgot the title u receive in thieves but like. busy ms llony. also llon is doing things on her own time, and yeah like. theres the vampirism which was fun when she was like. idk. 200 or w/e but now shes like 400 or smth if you count the forced slumber i forgot what yr i said she was born, and she's tired and not sure how it works with a supercharged soul gem and like 40 kinds of blessings and curses from daedric princes, and azura and meridia kind of trying to drag her left and right and she's also still getting sea sick which is so weird like. also almalexia is there and vivec city still isnt built and also time travel exists but this could be a dragon break all along?

llon publishes a memoir but then turns out the dragon break ends and it doesnt exist LMAO

and then like i think it would be so funny if she was nerevarine. like idk how committed i am to it of course but the fucking. shit hitting the fan for her that literally no god will let her die???? flipping off the elder scrolls and also that rly cool idea ppl were rolling around of nerevarine steadily looking more chimer vs dunmer as everything progressed. also cool. but thats also like. another era away for her.

BUT YEAH SORRY TO ANSWER THE QUESTION got sidetracked. idk about starting a family if not inadvertently like. not even just in a vamp thing and dunmer have a small amount of kids thing but i could only see it rly happening by accident and a 'hm. this shouldnt happen' weird shit or having a daedra spawn dropped in her arms. llon doesnt count anyone who didnt go to arkay priests to ask for a blessing and remove any possible vampirism after a night of necking. idk about her having a consistent partner, i did make an altmer/imperial looking just ur average roman citizen about to commit warcrimes who also was bit by lamae but i forgot to play them further:) might take them out for a spin and dress them up. then forget again.

[n7punk]

OK I WAS THINKING WDTFD TOO IT IS CRIMINALLY UNDERRATED AND ive literally been spending more time than necessary trying to figure out why, because I would argue it is one of your best and one of the most unique out there in general. You can ignore me if you want but I have a Theory (gonna mark myself with this emoji ⚡️ so you know it’s me)

this is... an absolutely fascinating theory XD i have no clue, to be honest, and always just put it down to 1) being a busy time of year (tho thematically appropriate) when maybe people weren't reading a lot of fic then so it never got that established, and 2) me going dark for a month afterwards while i worked on my novel, resulting in less content to bump me up in the ao3 tag (or on people's dashboards) that might make people check what i'd just done, or help them notice they missed a fic right before it (i have people comment on a new fic all the time being like "OH SHIT i missed the last one, time to binge!").

its interesting to get an outside perspective, because for me personally i notice jumps in interaction around a few fics (knifepoint for example) but i never really attributed a spike to BFM. i was really shocked when i recently saw beg for me was ranked 24th in hit count for she-ra fics (its worth noting that both slas and asdlm rank higher than it, but i also remember lots of engagement with both of those - especially asdlm, there was so much fanart). i dont remember a lot about what was going on when i was writing bfm, so i just assumed it... wasnt a lot XD but apparently it left an impression.

(actually, i did just remember i had anon off while writing BFM because i didnt want people getting Too Horny and crossing into creepy, and that probably had a big effect on the interaction i got and my perception of it)

as far as the smut thing... honestly, no clue, although you might be onto something with vampires being generally slutty (and rightfully so) and WDtFD being lore-focused. i feel like im reluctant to say fics without smut dont do as well, but i think that it might be true and i just dont want to acknowledge it XD i do think that, as far as rating goes, T and E do better than M because... if you dont want smut, you go T, and if you want it, you go E, you know? M is this middle ground i enjoy, but people tend not to be on middle ground with smut XD

i have no clue, but it was fun reading theories, and thank you for the enthusiasm for a fic i really love! to be honest i think if i wrote it a year before it might have been smuttier.... but the idea was also a year old and never had anything but that one scene in it, even if that scene was originally a bit more explicit, so idk. i do tend to go in cycles and whatever i did after beg for me needed to be smut-light because writing beg for me took a lot of time/energy XD see lotd following knifepoint, as well

i really loved crafting a lore fic, i had a whole outline where i tracked what had been hinted at and in what ways, what had been revealed so far, what i still needed to foreshadow/explain, etc, because there was so much stuff i wanted to imply and then reveal, and im realllllly happy with the finished product, so thank you for the love! <3

[woozi]

MA YZAAAA <3 (hehehe)

first of all,, hello <33 how have you been? and what have you been up to? <3 i hope classes and uni in general are not getting to you that much.

also the drama i told you about "doom at your service", after finishing it my opinion has changed a little, it was a nice drama overall but after the first 8, the story seemed like it was being stretched for no reason </3 i have nothing to watch these days hdksekks this time last year i had 2521 and business proposal to keep myself entertained but this year there is nothing 😭 even gose isn't here </3, did you find something interesting to watch? or read? i haven't had time and will to read hsjsksjs </3

but today i did go out of my comfort zone and watched a movie called medianeras (sidewalls), it's pretty melancholic but i liked it, ( idk why google or some reviews are saying it's funny or rom com 😭, it was actually sad and reflective but had a good ending imo) it's about how urban and internet lifestyle have had the opposite effect on people and have made them feel lonely despite having everything in one click. it was,, different. probably something what i was expecting from chunking express jshdjsjsnns

but in midst of all this i love love how booseoksoon came through 🥺 they brought back the spark hdjddj i love all the songs ( tho just like you, i love fighting and 7pm a little bit more than lunch ), it was so wholesome to see them have fun performing 😭 also youngji's feature fits so well <3 i can't stop talking about it hskdks it felt so natural <3 i haven't been this satisfied with a feature song in a long while ( same with 7pm ). if there was anything else fighting! needed it was definitely her. it made me so happy to see bss performing with her and peder <33

they made my feb for real.

( also something about leader seok gets me fr, he's been extra glowing these days <33 love that )

also the carat day live 😭 they all looked so good 😭😭😭 i missed seeing our sebongs together <3 the teddy bear scenes are still running in my mind lmao

i actually got mild cold and cough last week so at the moment that's what i have been up to : recovering from it and trying to read a book dhdjsj, seasons changing got me this time. it'll be summer now here and i'm already tired of it tbh 😭 how is the weather treating you? i hope it's good

omg also, i've become obsessed with checkers on plato btw! ( i've understood the basics of it but the difference between the original and the international rules is still slightly confusing for me udkgsd )

hope you're doing great yza 🥺🤍 sending you lots of good energy and clear sky days

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THAT GAVE ME GRIEF U ARE SO CUTE </3 MA CHERIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

i've been so so busy the past two months so it's like life's on 3x speed for me dfjkfdjkfdjkfd but it's my last semester anyway so <33 JKFDJKFDJK HOW ABOUT U <333333 HOW HAVE U BEEN WHAT HAVE U BEEN UP TO!! 😋😋😋

ALSO NOOOOOOO THAT SUCKS </3 maybe the writers didnt think they'd get that far lmfao 😭 AND I KNOW </3 that was such a good era for dramas, i hope they come out w really good ones </3 i heard the glory's v good? but i personally haven't checked it out yet and i'm not really into revenge type dramas so dfjkffd but i've been watching movies more these days!! i've been trying to watch cult faves/classics that people always talk about and that i've never had time to watch heheh ALSO SO TRUE ABT NOT HAVING THE WILL TO READ 😭 idk why it's also so hard for me to get back to it, i used to read like, 2 books a week at a leisurely pace

JUST CHECKED OUT THE POSTER FOR IT AND IT LOOKS SO GOOD OMG????/ thank u for adding to my reco list <3 ok but your review… felt tbh 😭 AND NOT CHUNGKING AGAIN FDKJDFJKFDJK I'M HAVING WAR FLASHBACKS FROM IT

EXACTLY <3333333 bss really came at the perfect time!! and u're so valid for that <33 i'm really glad they had the chance to collab more w/ other artists, esp peder!! not only was the song so fucking good, their interactions were also so sweet to witness 🥺 he seems like such a nice guy to hang out w LMFAOOO AND WAIT URE SO RIGHT??????????????????????????????????????? leader seok >>>>>>>>>>>>

i'm ngl i haven't even watched it yet i just skipped to the teddy bear part 😭😭😭 i only got to see clips of them, and REALLLL it feels like it's been forever since we last saw them tgt 😭

ALSO NAURRRRRRRRRRRRRR </3 that's such a pain in the ass :/ i hope you're feeling much better now and that you won't get sick any time soon!! there's only 2 types of weather where i'm from since i'm in the tropics, so u dont need to worry abt me <33

AND PLATO FJKFDJKFDJKF I COULD NEVER THANK U ENOUGH FOR IT i've avoided so many awkward moments in uni bc of it JKFDJKFDJKF also didn't know they had different rules 👁👄👁 what i do know though is that other ludos have different rules as well w the 1s and 6s which i only figured out when i played w someone else at another platform DJFDJFDJKFDJK let's play some time again if u're free!! <3 or we can also watch a movie 😋

hoping u're even better and that the days are endlessly kind to u as u have always been to me <33 love u thank u for always checking up on my disappearing ass 🥺🥺🥺 MWAH

[cody-apexart]

Day 12

This is honestly more or less a shitting on apex post. I apologies, but srsly. My time in Saigon has been so enjoyable, I really love this city and most of the experiences I have had, but the organization and communication style implemented by apex is making this less fun! Im in a bad mood, and had a bad day. Here’s the play by play:

I feel like the zoom mediation class today really set my day up for failure. Ive been practicing mediation on and off for over half my life— at this point Im pretty particular about what I like, and have tried out a lot of different styles to figure out what I enjoy and what works for me. This zoom meditation class lead by some man in southern California really was more of an hour long lecture of this dude talking about how he used to be depressed but now he isnt, and maybe 15 min of mediation max. I was all about work, like work like jobs, like capitalist meditation. When he said the phrase “hiring managers read your energy body” I knew I had heard enough. Which was kinda for the best, because I started looking at my email and noticed two had just come in from apex! One contained information that said the pottery class on my sched started at 9am not 10am. I had been preped to get there at 10, and at the time I was reading that email, it was already after 9am. I called the studio and they said I could still attend, though I did miss an hour of workshop time. Also, once I got there they said the ceramics wont be ready for 2 weeks. In 2 weeks I wont be here anymore. Why wouldn’t yall schedule this class earlier in my schedule? Also it was noted in my sched that the class would cost 40000 VND, but it was really 400000 VND. I also got an email from apex that I was RSVPd for a tech company business mixer. I hadn’t noticed it on my schedule because it was set for the wrong time, the event was probably entered in EST, so it was coming up on friday instead of thursday and was kinda hidden by the other long event on my friday sched. This email was my first time hearing about it, and since I was already reeling from the meditation class and time change to pottery I was like wtfffff.

Like what type of weird ass shit is that? Send someone with no tech experience to an even that is intended for people working in tech and living in Vietnam? Its just like why send me to crash their party? I don’t really understand, there are so many other places I could talk to strangers without being so out of place, like out of place in a way that kinda feels disrespectful and disruptive to the event. I dont mind being out of place or having to talk to stagers, but it just feels rude to show up to an event I rly have no business being at. Since the story slam, anything that comes off eventbrite I am very skeptical of.

Idk why nearly everything on the schedule feels like its made out to be a riddle. The times are wrong, the addresses are wrong. I can never just do what the calendar says and expect it to work out seamlessly. I feel like I spend so much troubleshooting shit that should already be taken care of.

Also I still havnt been reimbursed for this plane ticket?! Even though I sent the necessary info twice, and it says in a number of places that I can request reimbursement whenever id like. Similarly, the agreement I signed notes 45 days will be given in advance to get a visa if necessary, I was given 6 six businesses days notice. Like all of this is just causes what feels like /unnecessary/ stress, unless that feeling is all part of the program too? Im trying to just learn a lesson in loosing control.

Anyway, I went a little rouge today and didnt go to capoeira. I was emotionally exhausted, and my ankle is a little weird and clicky from walking so much. This is the first activity ive skipped-- I probably wouldnt have skipped it if I didnt already do the class last week, but knowing how intense it was, and how bad I felt, it was the right decision for me today. I cant wait for this upcoming day off. Two weeks non-stop is starting to get to me.

I went to a later screening of the movie since my evening was free, and wow, another movie centered around a traumatic pregnancy experience. The main character miscarried during a robbery at 6 months. I watched the trailer this time to avoid this type of thing, but it didnt reveal that plot point. actually the whole movie was actually about really toxic abusive relationships, but the trailer made it seem like a comedy. Anyway this was less fucked up than the abortion horror movie, but still fucked up. okay, but also the main character did ceramics, and i did a ceramics class this morning...was that planned? how curated are these days? I think this trip is the only time I have ever been in a movie theater without a friend or companion. Watching movies alone is totally new for me, just like how ive literally never used a pottery wheel before today. Also mark making scares me so painting the ceramic bowl I made was notably difficult for me. I am incredibly grateful for these experiences despite everything i just vented about.

[bunny-lou]

Hello!! Im the anon with the ask from 2 weeks ago about how much i love your fics and how autophobia kicked my ass into hyperfocus so bad i ended up napping on the floor in the hallway and almost missing class after reading it

I just want you to know that i really appreciate you taking the time to answer said ask because i was massively anxious about having sent it as it was all pretty much nothing but an absolute ramble and since i was exhausted as shit (hadnt slept for more than 40 hours at that point in time) i didnt even remember what exactly i had said in it until reading it again just now after seeing it answered on my dash (didnt even figure it out it was my fucking ask until halfway through) so i was kinda worried about having come across differently than intended and sounding idk entitled or some shit by talking about wanting to read more from you whenever and only of possible (id fucking hate to sound like one of those "next chapter right now!!!! I dont care that you have a life!!! Write the fucking chapter now!!!" readers) and i was more anxious ab it after time passed without getting an answer (ngl i was p much straight up stalking your blog every few hours the first few days then i saw a post from you about how tumblr eats your asks and calmed down quite a bit) but yeah anyway i just really wanted to tell you how much i loved ypur stuff and how strongly i feel about autophobia and your writing in general hopefully without making you uncomfy or coming across as rude or anything i hope i succeed in doing that at least kinda

But yeah jsyk youre the first desc account i started interacting with properly after randomly becoming hyperfixated as fuck on descendants and your stuff is responsible fpr getting me more into the fandom and into desc itself so yeah thank you

And also i just wanna say that when i first started autophobia i REALLY didnt think my autistic aroace ass would like it since i never was into abo in the traditional form of the trope but goddamn did i fucking love ypur fic despite any initial assumptions i had made about it i loved carlos' characterization so much and i loved everyones characterization so much amd the whole plot and everything i felt it was So well executed i often daydream of like alternate events for my favourite fics but for yours i can conceive no alternate plot development that id like more than yours its absolutely chefs kiss

Anyway sorry for thia absolutely fucking gigantic rant feel free to ignore me apologies if its too much and (tldr:) thank you for everything!!

(Original ask)

I'm the actual worst at responding on Tumblr, I'm so sorry.

Your asks, both the previous one and this one, are so sweet! I never mind long asks, though it does take me longer to respond to them. Seriously, if it takes me a while to answer, it's because most of my work days are 10-12 hours and I do not have energy to reply, it's a busy life!! My mobile Tumblr (which is what I normally use) does not give me any alert that I get an ask, but if I check my mobile tumblr, my desktop tumblr will not show that I have an ask because it thinks I saw the notification on mobile (which I don't). So also blame the wonky app lol.

There are months of effort that go into all my pieces on AO3, especially Autophobia, so messages like these that show that people know how much effort I put into my work are so rewarding. And I love Descendants, it brought my such entertainment and joy during harsh periods of my life, I am in awe if my writing helped you to love a fandom as much as I do!

And I've had a lot of people tell me that Autophobia is their favorite ABO fic or the fic that got them invested in that trope, which also means so much to me because ABO is my favorite AU!!

Thanks so much for taking the time to send me such a lovely letter, it makes me smile so much!!

[imarawbu]

I am back fasting today which was very difficult and made even more difficult by my husband trying to invite people over last minute for iftar. Saying every one doesn't invite us because we never invite, which isn't completely true. How lazy I am and how his best friend's wife and all his friend's wife's do all this stuff for iftar and get invited all the time to people's houses and nobody invites us- well that's not entirely true, he gets lots of invites- he just doesn't want to go with me, you know because I'm fat. It continued into how I make the worst food and how I'm the worst wife and how the food I made last time was so bad he has started thinking about divorcing me. Yeah, I'm not intentionally making bad food but I have no energy, I am stressed out all the time, so I'm not surprised.

Anyways, he declined an invite to meet at the mosque for iftar and insisted they come here, even though I made it very clear to my husband that I did not want to cook a bunch of food in only a few hours. Later, he got back to my husband and said his wife didn't want to come because it seemed like it would be an inconvenience for us. Idk if that's true or they just don't want to come here, either way they didnt come but I still had to cook a bunch. He did help and the food was ok. He was still complaining on why is he cursed and why am I such a lazy horrible wife.

He also threatened me multiple times not to tell anyone or he will just get up and leave. He's willing to involve our families but anyone outside that is a no. He only want to talk to my parents because he knows how they treat me and blame me, it will be easy for him to convince them that I'm to blame and they will force me to do what he wants. They are also non-Muslim and have no clue how a Muslim marriage works, he wants to use this to take advantage and force me into doing what he wants or to give him money. If I was not Muslim, I would have cut my parents off years ago. They are toxic, blame me for everything, and they will never change. I have recordings of him verbally abusing me, threatening me, admitting to hitting me and my daughter, I have photos of her bruises, I have screenshots of texts where he says he can just do whatever he wants. Even if they see this evidence, they won't take my side lol they will just blame me for getting involved with him or whatever. That's what they do.

I know if I involve anyone they will tell their husband who will tell my husband. I trust nobody and I don't even want to talk with anyone about what's going on, he will catch me doing that and I'm just exhausted with the whole thing. Even if someone comes to know, there's nothing they can do to help. What I need is money and a large amount of it. Nobody can help with that lol. There will also be tons of judgement, questions, and I don't want to deal with it.

I have one friend who is divorced, she also remarried and we don't talk much because she lives with him overseas. My other friends have moved on with life and are busy all the time. The friend group where I made these friends is inactive and dissolved. I rarely talk with anyone and I try not to because my husband will read the messages. Nobody is going to be able to understand or sympathize, so why bother.

[orenjibot]

This is just me airing out a bit of my grievances right now so I’ll put it under a read more. It WILL be long but i will try to keep it short or make a tl;dr at the end of it. Idk honestly.

I WILL NOT delete this AT ALL because i swear I’m not bound by any legal NDA or anything and i’m not even trying to start shit with people. I’m just PISSED OFF and need to share it once and for all.

Edit: I added a tl;dr if you guys don’t want to read my thoughts.

So okay. I had a rant about trying hard to be in a community of any kind in a post I reblogged. I will spare the details of not having the right tools to COPE with my adhd since it made me socially awkward and basically come off as a weirdo and stuff. I have improved lots since but like you know lmaooo

You see. Here’s this thing about my thoughts of my time as a mod on the compass en (fan) discord. I was a mod for this community for years, only because we were severely UNDERSTAFFED for years to the point where I was essentially the ONLY person doing any mod work what so ever. This isn’t to blame other people or mods though. It’s a fan group anyways, people have obligations, people change interests, people hate what the group has become and ETC. I was never mad in these situations.

The issues I’ve had with being a mod was essentially just not knowing what to do and what was okay. Like there was one person who would constantly just act horny 25/7 and it seemed like??? Everyone was okay with that??? Like??? There were minors??? In the server????????? And also those jokes made me uncomfy like it’s a public server not a friend group.

I didn’t want to do too much where it comes off as being on a powertrip or SILENCING people based on a simple dislike/disagreement. The laid back moderation wasn’t a bad thing and not that many people were horrible people (and most of them were good people who stop when told). Essentially, it made it so that a lot of members in the server when confronted with directly would basically NEVER take any mod seriously. On multiple occasions, it pissed me off on a personal level.

But what can I even do? I’m only one person and the server owner was busy most of the time and can’t afford to put any time into dealing with the server anymore. It was truly a time where I was just off on my own and idk what to do.

Anyways, I’ll be skipping ahead of the timeline and to the one time we had to demote a mod entirely for improper mod behavior.

So this guy… I’ll call this guy Allen to avoid dropping names— so Allen here was allegedly DATING a minor. Yeah. So as the “head mod” I did grapple with whether or not I should bring it up with the rest of the other mods and even the server owner. I kept hearing more and more shit from him which was FURTHER backed up by the fact that I was actually griping about it for a long time until the guy finally got his fucking shit together one time after I left cause the bozo basically did nothing anyways.

It made me absolutely livid how this guy saw being a mod as some sort of status for clout. Like this guy flat out was making fun of being a mod for the server and basically just went “I dont have to do anything cause everyone’s asleep when I’m awake and awake when im asleep! So easyyyy lmaoooo”

There is NO actual proof about this, but this was backed up by the fact that he did absolutely nothing and continued to shove everything for me to do. So like, the dude was basically a lazy ass mofo.

I didn’t even know anything about the guy dating a minor until someone told me about it and sent us proof of it. A lot of us were of the mindset that “it didn’t rly matter to us what they did as long as it was sfw so we don’t have to take immediate action” but… we saw both of them chat in the cps server and for sure they were sending nsfw shit to each other based on what they’re saying about hcs (like it had waaay too much sexual energy in there to say they didnt talk about nsfw privately amongst themselves).

I really got bit pissed off at all of this so I took it up to everyone immediately. Like first of all, the server also has minors so it was really a huge red flag for us to keep the guy around as a mod.

This happened when Allen was trying to host his very own tournament (last year around this time), but failed cause he decided to put it off to oblivion and even rushed me to do everything. I volunteered to help but only to stream it and nothing else. When i brought it up to him that I can take over and do everything so he didn’t have to, he declined. Like this guy did nothing at all and expected ME to do it all for him when i made it clear from the get go that I wasn’t going to do that. The dude was clearly irresponsible. Even more so than me and he also has adhd like me. Like dude is just a bitch.

It made the poor guy PARANOID. Like he immediately stopped talking in the server after he was demoted and basically stopped working on the tournament all together. I didn’t want anything to do with him after all of this and the fact that he was unapologetic about dating a minor as long as there’s love. Like no. Bro. Wtf. (I heard this second hand so take that with a grain of salt)

Now here’s the kicker. Out of personal spite, and to not leave my work unused, I decided to host my own tournament after some time has passed. It was a challenge that I enjoyed, but I’m not cut out for stuff like this so I wasn’t going to do it anymore than one time.

But guess what? Allen joined the tournament with his team. And this was the team that gave me SHIT when we (me and my two helpers) had to give them a DQ for basically doing everything wrong. I wasn’t even surprised that something was going to come up with this group. It only sucked because they sure wrapped up a now former friend of mine into their whole schtick and basically started to hate me for something they clearly didn’t do right.

Not only did they think we were powertripping, they deadass thought we did it out of spite for them. Like no. We didn’t even do that. Like it’s a casual tournament but we had rules to abide by and it would be unfair to let them play when everyone else followed directions, read the rules, and was doing as told. That team did NONE of that and said that we, the staff, did it out of favoritism.

Like c’mon that was the SILLIEST reason I have ever heard. Imagine it being favoritism because EVERYONE ELSE FOLLOWED DIRECTIONS.

Granted, I can agree that my attitude wasn’t the best because I was tired and also FED UP with the fact that they didn’t even listen to what I was saying as the organizer. They flat out ignored all I was saying and decided on their own that I was okay with everything. Like no I’m not trying to make a callout post on them so I won’t post any proof of this, but ask anyone who was the staff with me during the tournament and they can give proof.

I will also say that my instructions wasn’t clear half of the time so I can understand that they might’ve been confused aside from not reading it. I will say that I didn’t make it extra clear at all about the timeframe. I had a lot going on the latter half of November and most of December so I know that that was on me. But they deliberately threw everything onto my shoulders and expect me to organize their team for them which is stupid to begin with.

The biggest reason why this did happen was because my former friend didn’t respond to a question I had asked ahead of time about their schedule. I had asked for them to tell me if their schedule in JST, so japan time. She only gave me a weekend schedule and nothing else so I assumed she answered in jst. And this point when I asked again to confirm if this time was okay, her two teammates responded in her stead by saying “yeah it seems like she’s free at this time”, which also meant that we all read her reply the same exact way.

She came out to tell me when I was asleep, that she couldn’t make it and didn’t even TRY to talk it out with my other staff and I only woke about a couple hours before their scheduled time cause I sleep funky hours. Like they expect me to get everything sorted out in 2 hours??? Like??? That’s not enough time??? And we couldnt find anything that worked with the staff and their opposing team, so they HAVE to play at their scheduled time.

Then they said they’ll find a sub, which technically isn’t allowed without prior discussion. They clearly didn’t read the substitution INSTRUCTIONS either. I still had every right to decline them of a sub since they didn’t ask for permission for one and assumed that it was okay.

But like whatever man, I didn’t care by the time we discussed this far. They then basically just…. Didn’t even tell us anything afterwards for an hour and 20 minutes. Like an hour before their match started and 10-15 mins after where they had a short waiting period before we hand them a DQ. We had strict attendance rules and it was their responsibility to let us know they found a sub before their match started… And not AFTER we handed them a DQ.

They tried to argue with us that we have to let them play and that they couldn’t “understand” why they can’t. Like it wasn’t that hard to understand that we couldn’t do that because it was unfair to everyone else who was following the rules. I couldn’t reschedule it to a different time due to everyone’s busy schedules and it would require having to do everything over again. Like granted, it was my first time doing this and I was very stubborn on not asking for too much help because I didn’t want to rely too much on people. It just came at a bad time when everyone was busy too. So I admit to just being an inexperienced first time tournament organizer and knowing that a part of this is also my fault, but not entirely.

Like, again, this really wasn’t done out of personal malice or anything of the sort. But this team also went out of their way to cause problems for everyone involved and basically quit last minute when it was time for their other match (after they got DQ’d for their match in the semis), which pissed the other team off. They led everyone to believe that the staff did something wrong, when really it was their incompetence and miscommunication that led to everything happening. I offered my side of the reasoning for what we did to my former friend who was the only one who tried to at least talk to me, but instead kind of gave me an attitude like I owed her something.

I actually thought she was blaming herself for what happened and I said stuff that said I was sorry and she didn’t deserve that, only to find out that… they thought it was…….. favoritism?? And I was just… “????? Huh????” So like… I don’t know what I can even say when they believed something so comedically foolish. They’ve been watching way too many dramas man like if I wanted to be spiteful, I wouldn’t do something that heinous. I also make it clear when I dislike people so if anything, I would’ve just trashed their application from the get go to be petty. I don’t have the energy to plan it out like that or even be that petty as to not let them play. If that was a concern to begin with, they could’ve just not joined at all. I did so much to work with their schedules and yet they conveniently threw it out the window in favor of a fictional revenge plot they made up. Disrespectful.

I still never gotten an apology or even an admittance that they misunderstood what was going on. I can only apologize for things I have done, which was just sounding crabby and being unclear about stuff. But favoritism was not something I or anyone did. This still hurts me right now. Even if they don’t want to apologize to me, apologize to everyone else.

The only saving grace was that when all of this was happening, all the participants didn’t ask or question us directly too much on what was going on. It, at least, showed to us that they were confused and/or also knew that we (the staff) wouldn’t do something this egregious. Still, it hurt that everyone didn’t even try to defend me and was perhaps skeptical, like maybe I am this irresponsible (I’m not).

However, there is more to my grievances about this.

Aside from feeling like no one respected me at all, even when I’m the one with the MOST POWER in the conersation, someone told me how everyone (in their server) wanted them to host the tournament. Like, it was very hurtful to hear that everyone else wanted this person to do the job. That everyone wanted them to do everything. It really pissed me off. Being a mod IS a damn thankless job, but I have never felt so hurt and betrayed. I was doing so much for everyone and was trying to make things more fun for people, but nah. They really wanted this cool person that everyone loved and babied, and not some boring old guy like me. Well, I’m sorry I made everyone’s times there boring and bland as fuck. I hope you guys are having more fun now that I’m not there ruining it for you all.

No one even tried to actually defend me when all of this WAS happening. Like? They really left me for dead. Not a single person wanted to believe me or support me until I said all that I could share about it in DMs. Then they all realized that the Allen’s team were being petty about it.

I’m ridiculously tired because this wasn’t EVEN drama to begin with. It was just Allen’s team being vengeful (mostly just Allen and his bestie who was in the team). I was just being dragged down simply because they couldn’t take an L.

Had Allen’s team came up with a better rebuttal, I would’ve let them play. Had they said they got a sub before we gave them a DQ, I would’ve let them play. They did not even try to have a discussion with us and tried to be petty because they thought we were being petty. Like please we don’t got time for your kiddy fights, man. I hope you’re all happy that I suffered for whatever the fuck y’all did.

It was just so damn weird how they correlated this as a “power trip” when…….. it really wasn’t that and everyone could probably read the chat log and will still say that it seemed like miscommunication. Like literally no one got in trouble for anything because it was just… wasn’t even the problem they made it out to be. This was something they could’ve tried to talk it out reasonably with us but they chose NOT to. That is ON THEM entirely.

Given how I was also repeatedly just being disregarded even AS a mod, I was completely fed up with it all. When there were issues, no one brought it up to the mods directly??? And told the server owner instead??? LIKE??? He never even told me that’s how everyone actually felt, i only knew because when I used to be in Ann’s server, they all told me what they felt about the changing times of the server (which can’t be helped in most cases) AND the fact that I can tell that’s how people felt based on the vibes.

Was I really THAT untrustworthy as a person and a mod?? Was I really that incompetent to everyone???

I always felt like I was some half rate guy that no one liked. I tried because I knew that without someone there to manage it, it would’ve been so much worse. But it seemed like to me that everyone thought I was useless and a waste of space. They rather have that popular someone everyone loved to do my job for them. It would be so much better and much more fun, right? I agree.

I didn’t become a mod because I wanted clout. I wanted to help. I did it out of the pure love and appreciation of finding this community at one of the worst times of my life. And I still do want to help, but after all of this? Good luck on that. You all have to beg for me to come back to help. None of you guys deserve me at all.

Anyways, yeah, this is the extent to my side of the story WITH my personal thoughts and opinions on it. I don’t have the energy to make a tl;dr right now after saying all of this. So i’ll make an edit for it later.

This is why I personally left the server and cut off most of the people who I met there if they didn’t try to contact me again or get back in touch with me… And assuming I didn’t contact them first.

There’s just too much bad feelings in it for me to want to stay around. The thing with Ann and some couple others before her and this whole thing, all were as a result of being in this community, made me realize that they don’t want me around anymore. I figured it was time to me to step down or take more of a backseat, but now? Early retirement. Fuck this shit man.

Tl;dr: This is a rant of one of my MANY grievances about being a mod in the compass server. I am not blaming anyone for any of this as I understand that this was just the result of the circumstances that happened with everyone at the time.

The key points being:

Understaffed mod team and a busy server owner, which led me to struggle with modding as I wasn’t sure what was okay and what wasn’t, and overall a lot of work on me being the only person modding a whole server of people. I didn’t mention it before but it stressed me out constantly for years.

Having to demote a mod for misconduct. His list of crimes goes from bad work ethics, bad display of behavior on multiple occasions as a mod, irresponsible with organization (tried to host his own tournament but failed and had me doing most of the heavy lifting before it was ultimately “canceled”), and the worst of all: dating a minor (5 years younger than he was). This point later comes back as this former mod (whom I called Allen for the sake of using a name, it isn’t his name/online handle) joined my tournament with his team.

The team being the one that caused me a lot of trouble because they firmly believed that we were abusing our power and said we deliberately sabotaged them on purpose. None of which was true and I’m sure a lot of people have noticed this, but I refrained from dropping too much details as I’m not here to start shit or make it a callout post. Talk to the two helpers and they can probably explain it better. I listed various reasons for this happening and debunking some potential misunderstandings. The issue was largely miscommunication and I am aware of the issues it caused.

Most of this from that point onward was just my personal thoughts about feeling unappreciated, even under-appreciated, for all the stuff I have done. This extends from members not respecting what I had to say to feeling as if people didn’t want to listen to me or want me around because they thought I was useless, irresponsible, incompetent, and boring. “Clearly”, they don’t want someone like me as a mod so I left as a result of that. There is a lot more it but this is but a summary, so read it all if you want more details.

Overall, I’ve been disrespected and disregarded heavily before, but it felt somewhat clear to me that the community had a bias and very much wanted me to leave despite all that I was doing to make the server a better place to be in. I left after determining that they do not deserve me and if they want me back, they are all going to have to BEG for me to come back.

[top100k]

Earn money everyday ➡➡➡ https://kahgo.ru/RnE7hNf

🔵 AN $250 INVESTMENT IN CRYPTOCURRENCY MADE BROTHERS MILLIONAIRES. READ THEIR STORY

Envision getting up one early morning to uncover that youve become a millionaire overnight? Approved, it doesn't happen to everyone-- unless youve bought cryptocurrency. Brothers Tommy, 38, as well as James, 42, found themselves because very scenario after spending $200 into shiba inu coin, a spin-off of Dogecoin.

At first set up as a joke, Dogecoin and its spin-offs came to be one of the most rewarding cryptocurrency to buy. Dogecoin was unidentified for many capitalists for a long time up until Elon Musk started tweeting about it. After that it obtained energy as well as its rate went through the roof.

One of the siblings claimed that he thought about how Dogecoin was once a portion of a penny as well as now its 10s of thousands of bucks so maybe the exact same could occur with Dogecoin. Ends up he was right and hes obtained millions on his account to prove it.

Tommy and also James claim:

Before coronavirus, we used to earn a living filming wedding events. Our business nearly crumbled as pairs cancelled their ceremonies during the pandemic. We had videoed no more than 8 as opposed to 30 or 40 that year. We got on the edge of personal bankruptcy.

The federal government stimulus checks werent enough to sustain us. Im a favorable person however it was truly challenging, and not knowing the future was type of terrifying. says Tommy.

Some of our good friends were buying crypto so we determined to do the exact same. Since we didnt know what we were doing we determined to make use of a platform called Dogecoin Millionaire which works in automated setting. Earn extra money at home making pens. It does all the help you so you just need to transfer your first financial investment. Online money earning youtube.

For us it was just $200 because we didnt have much more. Make money online by typing passively. Fortunately, we spoke our mommy and sister to contribute and they spent $100 each. U earned it sped up.

While firing a wedding event video clip someday, the brothers saw their investment escalated to $100,000 and kept enhancing. Make money surveys youtube.

Tommy continues:

We awakened the following morning and it doubled. Kevin kisner career earnings. We were like, Oh my god, Tommy claimed. Free me bitcoin kaise earn kare.

Then it increased to $700,000 and I told my brother its mosting likely to strike a million. Earn money with paypal. I maintained refreshing my phone. Assets that make money.

The day it struck a million-- my mum and also sister, they didnt think it was real. Earnings 2023 us open.

Earn money everyday #Earn #money #everyday