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#lbr he wouldn't talk this much about the shit he's done
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In defence of Steve Randle
Listen guys, Steve Randle gets a lot of hate in this fandom and as much as it pains me, it's valid. Everyone has their own interpretation of the source material, and fandom is supposed to be fun, so it is absolutely valid and ok to hate or love any character you want. You can hate Steve for many reasons or for no reason at all! This is fandom! That's ok! The story is for you interpret and love and play with and hate on to your hearts content. HOWEVER, to say that Steve Randle isn't an important character to the novel is simply not true, and to say that he hates Ponyboy requires ignoring or downplaying some pretty key moments of the book. This is especially true for those of you who love Dally but hate Steve, because Steve gets a lot of hate for being kind of a dickhead (which lbr, a lot of seventeen years old are, especially to their friend's little siblings) while Dally gets less for doing a lot worse (harassing Cherry, jumping kids, etc). This isn't to say that either character is better- they're both great, nuanced characters who have done bad things, but the fandoms attitudes towards them when they share a lot of characteristics is really telling. Even Ponyboy's narration about them is pretty similar- Pony doesn't particularly like Steve, and he was canonically scared of Dally, but they're both members of his gang and he doesn't hate either of them. You don't have to like Steve as a character, just like you don't have to like Dally or Darry or Tim Shepard or even Ponyboy, but he is important- and he doesn't hate Ponyboy, nor does Ponyboy hate him.
A really important moment in the book is when Ponyboy and Johnny defend Dally after he harasses Cherry and Marcia.
"Dally's okay," Johnny said defensively, and I nodded. You take up for your buddies, no matter what they do. When you're a gang, you stick up for the members. If you don't stickup for them, stick together, make like brothers, it isn't a gang any more. It's a pack. A snarling, distrustful, bickering pack like the Socs in their social clubs or the street gangs in New York or the wolves in the timber."
This line here is super important. Pony and Johnny were willing to defend Dally after he sexually harrassed Cherry and Marcia- soc girls who they clearly liked and were intimidated by- in the name of being a good friend, because that is what's important to them and their gang. If they're willing to do it in this context for Dally, you'd best believe they'd do the same for Steve, and him for them. Steve can and will rag on Ponyboy within the gang, but he'd never dream of bad mouthing him to anyone else. Dependability is important to the gang, and Steve would never publicly shit talk Pony, and vice verca. Regardless of their squabbles within the gang, at the end of the day they've got each others backs. They're buddies. We see evidence of this at the end of the book, when Pony grabs the bottle and threatens the socs with it.
"You really would have used that bottle, wouldn't you?" Two-Bit had been watching from the storedoorway. "Steve and me were backing you, but I guess we didn't need to. You'd have really cut them up, huh?"
The important thing here is that along with Two-bit, Steve was backing Ponyboy, no questions asked. Sure most of it boils down to Pony being a member of the gang and that deep rooted loyalty to one another, but the context for this scene is that Ponyboy was sitting on Steve's car waiting for Steve and Two to stop flirting with some girls. The three of them were hanging out- without Darry, without Sodapop. It's their school lunch break. We know Ponyboy has middle class friend's at school, or that he could've spent time in the school library. It was a deliberate choice to hang out with Two and Steve. He wasn't forced into it. Canonically, Steve and Ponyboy hang out. Never alone, but they're decent enough friends to hang out together in a group. Doesn't everyone have friends like that? I do. This isn't the only textual instance either where they hang out without the entire gang being present. Early on, Pony offhandedly mentions that sometimes Steve and Soda will buy him pop and teach him about cars if he hangs around the DX.
"I had walked down to the DX station to get a bottle of pop and to see Steve and Soda, because they'll always buy me a couple of bottles and let me help work on the cars."
He could've just said Soda's name here but he didn't. Steve buys Pony pepsi and teaches him about cars, even though he gets annoyed with him when Soda invites him to hang around with them too often. And honestly, who wouldn't? I'd be annoyed if my best friend always invited her little brother along with us, even if I liked the kid. Wouldn't you?
Now, we do need to address the elephant in the room. I'm talking of course, about this quote;
"I'd never tell Soda, because he really likes Steve a lot, but sometimes I can't stand Steve Randle. I mean it. Sometimes I hate him."
I feel like very often people forget the context this quote comes from, and so it's magnitude is blown way out of proportion. Ponyboy has just been jumped and then immediately scolded by his brother who constantly makes him feel foolish and unwanted. He's already scared, embarassed, and defensive and then Steve goes and makes him feel even more unwanted. Of course he wants to lash out. Of COURSE he feels like he hates Steve in that moment. I did even reading it. But Ponyboy doesn't truly hate Steve. This moment is PEAK fourteen year old having a rough night energy, it's not truly representative of Steve as a character or of Ponyboy's feelings towards him. In truth, Steve actually kind of likes Ponyboy and is at very least protective over him. This is evidence by the previous quotes, but also when Ponyboy comes back from Windrixville, and is worried about the state placing him in foster care;
"'No, [Ponyboy said] 'they ain't goin' to put us in a boys' home.' 'Don't worry about it,' Steve said, cocksure that he and Sodapop could handle anything that came up. 'They don't do things like that to heroes.'"
It's subtle, and not immediately obvious to the traumatized fourteen year old who is used to Steve's cocky nature, but this is both a reassurance and a very bold claim. Not only is Steve trying to look out for Ponyboy the way the rest of the gang models- by treating him like a kid, letting the 'adults' worry about grown up issues in a misguided attempt to protect Pony- he is also throwing in his lot to make sure nothing does happen. Based on this quote and the rest of Steve's characterization throughout the book its not hard to infer that Steve would fight tooth and nail to make sure Ponyboy stays safe with his family. Sure, part of it is gang loyalty, part of it is his devotion to soda, but part of it is because he and Ponyboy are buddies in their own right, no matter how much they fight. They are friends- and Steve is an incredibly important character for many reasons, but particularly to add depth to Pony's character, to the bond between the Curtis gang, and to highlight how the Curtis gang differs from the other gangs in Tulsa. Steve is just as much an outsider as the rest of the gang, and it's disingenuous to say otherwise no matter how much you may hate him as a character.
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evilwickedme · 2 years
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Top 10 worst Bruce dad moments?
So here's the thing. I'm not actually like. That well versed in the comics yet? Again like. Only been here for about six months. But I'll do my best anyway
10. Firing Dick
HE FIRED DICK FROM BEING ROBIN. THE NICKNAME HIS MOTHER GAVE HIM. THEN GAVE SAID NICKNAME TO ANOTHER CHILD. WHAT THE FUCK.
9. Steph as Robin
Honestly everything about this is a mess. I've only read a few pages from this arc but Tim quitting being Robin was a really difficult decision and Bruce's response was to give the job to Tim's sort-of-ex girlfriend and then treat her like crap. I believe it's canonically cause she reminded him too much of Jason, but that might just be the fandom's reading of the subtext; either way, if the shoe fits...
8. Telling Damian if he was there, Alfred wouldn't have died
What the FUCK, Bruce, that is your SON. COMFORT HIM FOR THE LOSS OF HIS GRANDFATHER
7. Robin!Tim in general
Listen intentional or not Tim is written as a character that has very much internalized needing to be useful being more important than anything else. His parents simply prioritize work over him point blank - his dad doesn't even remember his birthday, for God's sake - and Bruce simply like. Does not help with this. If anything he takes advantage of it. Tim needs to be loved unconditionally, like, STAT, like, that would fix 70% of his identity issues kinda STAT, and I'm not sure he's ever felt that with Bruce
6. Free space: any time he's hit one of his children that I don't know about
I once reblogged a post that detailed every time he hit Dick but that's long gone into the ether now, I can't find it. Anyway there's no excuse to hit your child. Don't fucking do it. They shouldn't hit you, either, doesn't make it ok for you to do if they've done it fyi. Batman can do non violent solutions, we know this, so fucking use those on your children.
5. Reviving the joker
I believe Dick isn't necessarily mad about not having murdered a man basically in cold blood, but I am. What the fuck, Bruce. You tried to kill him twice, you really wanna tell me you don't understand the urge and NEED to kill him??? And then you BRING HIM BACK TO LIFE??? Again. As I've said. What the FUCK
4. Killing Dick and sending him off to Spyral
Actually Dick shouldn't ever forgive Bruce for anything he's ever done to him ever. Have you seen the panels where they have this argument? His family GRIEVES him and for what!!!! For WHAT
(I understand Grayson itself is actually great I wouldn't know I haven't read it. Doesn't make what Bruce did okay tho. I'm also not sure I trust the positive reviews it's written by Tim Seeley and Tom King like......)
3. RHatO Rebirth #25
Penguin didn't fucking die. He didn't get shot in the face with a real bullet. You don't beat your son half to death to the point where he needs to be RESCUED from you - actually no need to qualify that sentence with the intended "over something that didn't actually happen", you simply don't beat your son half to death, should be a no brainer and YET
2. UTRH end scene
Heartbreaking. We all know at this point. Batarang to the throat. Chooses the Joker over Jason. It's enough to make a fully grown (25 next month) man (eh) cry (I mean. Yeah)
1. INTENTIONALLY TRIGGERING JASON
See here for the ask where I talked about this (and which is presumably the ask that led to this anon). Taking Jason to Ethiopia with no warning when he's cooperating anyway just to intentionally trigger him in order to try to get Damian back to life when you never did anything like that for Jason? Holy fucking shit, you know? Just betrayal after betrayal after betrayal
Anyway I'm sure this list is missing some major moments and I'd love to know what I forgot about or, more likely, simply don't know about! I love a well written good dad!Bruce fic but lbr that's just not what he's like in canon. Calling him a mixed bag as a father figure is an understatement
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ifishouldvanish · 11 months
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I think that part of my issue with the whole olrox and mizrak think is that olrox is babied so much that anything mizrak(or even ricter) do that might show a different part of his character is deemed criminal.
The show goes out of its way to tell us that olrox is selfish and has done thing that while maybe justified(I don’t really count Julia’s death as something justified) are still wrong, and all people can talk about is how much of a twink he is(he really isn’t)
While I think fandom is clearly partial to Olrox, I don't think he's 'babied' or (probably showing my age here) 'woobified'. I think in the context of a show about vampires that is using vampirism as a metaphor for imperialism and colonialism--a character who is vocally anti-colonialist and who literally and unapologetically "eats the rich" is just fun to rally behind. The fact that he's also kinda snarky and lbr, really hot, just makes him destined to be fandom catnip.
I don't agree that the show goes out of the way to show that he is selfish though? He hides his motives and isn't above violence as a form of justice, but as this post points out, it's understandable why he would believe that he wouldn't have gotten justice otherwise.
I think there are interpretations that he spends the season 'playing both sides', that he accepts Erzsebet's invitation to "hear her out" in good faith, and that he's content to sit back and watch as things play out until the last minute-- but that is not one that I share. I think he's seen this shit happen so many times, seen indigenous people try to accommodate and ally with colonizers only to get shafted so many times, that he's learned he's better off operating in a more behind the scenes capacity where he can drop a hint here or a comment there to get in the respective parties' heads and sway the outcomes from a distance.
He seems to enjoy getting a rise out of Mizrak by poking holes in his arguments, but I wouldn't consider that selfish, manipulative, or mocking so much as a way of testing the waters of where exactly his loyalties lie.
We get the accusation that he turned his late lover into a vampire without his consent, but we really don't get any confirmation of whether or not that's true, what the circumstances were, etc. Just that whatever happened, it's something he's extremely tetchy about.
Something that confounds me about that scene though is that Olrox seems to be telling Mizrak about his lost lover for the first time, yet Mizrak absolutely does not hesitate to level that accusation at him. And maybe it's just sloppy dialogue or whatever, but it makes me wonder if A.) this is something Olrox alluded to off-screen at some point (imo just sloppy writing) B.) Mizrak has some kind of intel on Olrox we do not know about (from Erzsebet, perhaps?) or C.) Mizrak is straight up just making assumptions based on what he knows/the church has told him about vampires (which just feels most probable to me, idk).
That Olrox's knee-jerk response is to provide a justification rather than a denial is still very telling though. My read is that he did turn him and that the consent probably was a little dubious. My totally speculative headcanon based on pure vibes is that his lover got mortally wounded in battle and that Olrox turned him in a fit of desperation to save him. Which would arguably be a selfish act--but selfish in a tragically human gothic romance sort of way and not like... a cold, calculating, 'only looking out for number one' sort of way.
I think the most cruelty we see from him is in the way he taunts Richter, but given the whole colonialism theme running throughout the show I think it's more about what Richter represents in his eyes: the heir to a legacy of fighting 'monsters' where the definition of monster is written by people in power. That, "She had to die. I could kill you too, and I will one day," is less a direct threat and more of a prophecy; a statement on the inevitability that what happened in one generation will happen again in the next.
But ahsjsksk i haven't seen anyone call him a twink though that's 🥴🥴🥴 words have meanings y'all
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icharchivist · 1 year
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BROSHIP ANON: See Wilnas can be a bit of himbo but listen. Listen to me for a second. Consider. Wilnas is one of the 6 dragons & he doesn't have that power because he's stupid. He's easily led along sure & may blunder but Belial is a person of interest. Like I am pretty sure Wilnas at least has some foundation on who Belial is.
Its not that Wilnas doesn't know that makes him & Belial be the best. Its that he DOES & he ACCEPTS IT. Because if Wilnas really though Belial was a threat, that primal would be a fucking CHALK OUTLINE lbr here.
Obviously Belial fucking around with Wilnas is a given. ITS BELIAL. This man doesn't know how to handle being genuine & intimate with people outside of Lucilius' gap moe ass. Honestly I am pretty sure it scares him. But man if I was talking about Belial's psyche & whats wrong with him I'd be here all day. I have like a 14 post thread on Belial on Twitter. I don't shut up about him.
BUT LIKE THE POINT IM MAKING HERE. Is he'd do his shit & Wilnas would be down for it. He'd think its funny. You're so right that he'd be like gushing about how Belial got him good & like waxing poetic about how smart & creative Belial is. Not because he's stupid. BUT BECAUSE HE THINKS HE GREAT & THAT HES A FUNNY LIL DUDE.
That radical acceptance would probably break something in Belial ngl. Gods know Belial would try to fuck around with Wilnas but it really would turn into a case of "Oh fuck I can be ME. Like REALLY ME" around Wilnas.
Also re: his skillset
Yeah no Belial canonically jokingly calls himself a pâtissier & we have other depictions of him cooking in a few other places. Belial 100% knows how to cook & WELL at that.
honestly you're SO right about all of this. I'm so down for it. Love this so much.
Like yeah basically on the strong basis of their relationship, Wilnas is smart about it (knows who Belial is and how he behaves in general, understands the threat he can be but also understands that he's a person who, if on our crew, is worthy of trust in some way), but then after that strong foundation it's free game. It's everything else that isn't a strong foundation that Belial can mess around with, but yeah, Wilnas just sees it as him being creatively clever and he is so pleased that he got fooled if he got to experience some of Belial's creative mindset and fun moments!
so yes, he just unconditionally accepts Belial, and on top of that i genuinely think it's not something Wilnas would be making an effort about. It wouldn't be like other characters who would indulge him with gritted teeth while being annoyed or anything like that. Wilnas would GENUINELY think it's amazing, and accept Belial because he GENUINELY thinks it was fun and clever and Belial is a good homie.
and i think this level of just, unfiltered genuine appreciation would leave Belial, the master of deception and fragile relationships, just completely speechless. He doesn't have to change or anything, he doesn't even have to be vulnerable to prove his worth. But he can have fun and he doesn't hurt Wilnas really and Wilnas just seems to have a blast being with him so like. it's just fun??? they're just having fun??? it's fun for both of them???
and honestly it might be super fun for Belial that Wilnas wouldn't exactly be predictable. Like at least for everyone else Belial knows the buttons to press to upset someone. but with Wilnas? everytime it's just another way for him to laugh and praise him because as long as he doesn't start a new apocalypse or murder someone Wilnas just thinks he's cool. Like yeah he'd probably expect Wilnas to not be mad at him after some point but he'll never know just HOW Wilnas is going to accept it. Is he just going to laugh that it was so clever? is he going to be nodding holding his chin because he's learning something new everyday? is he going to cheer and pat his back telling him that he's done good? genuinely cannot know.
and it's just for cooking that Wilnas is still hopeless but Belial would help out. somewhat. it'd be a bonding activity. One Belial could have found dreadful at first, but eventually grew found of. Like the first time they cook together he tries to prank Wilnas into baking a cake while swapping sugar for salt and trying to trick him good but Wilnas just burns the whole cake up so it's not like anyone is left to taste it, and i can just imagine Belial looking at how his plans unfolded and just. somehow. finding it hilarious in how badly he failed. so now he sticks around to see how Wilnas fucks things up on his own.
it's a perfect silly match. unstoppable force (chaos impersonated) VS unmovable object (anything can be a human good time if you just accept it)
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ofravensandgenesis · 4 years
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OC Quiz
Tagged by @amistrio​ and @stvnningstrike​ !! Thank you for the tags in this fun ask game!! :D ♥ Tagging anyone who wants to be tagged, go forth and tell us about your lovely OCs!!!!
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Deputy Joshua Rook
————— Asked someone to marry you? - Innocent.
Kissed one of your friends? - Uhhhh, innocent...? What kind of kiss are we talking here, because if we mean cheek kisses or something like that then yeah, guilty, but if you mean a proper kiss on the mouth then pretty sure innocent. Well. So long as we’re counting people as friends that I’ve known longer than the lifespan of a mayfly.
Danced on a table in a bar or tavern? - Innocent.
Ever told a lie? - Guilty guilty guilty, it’s a marvel I have a single pair of pants left, rather than all of them burning up in one of Sharky’s bonfires.
Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have? - ...I mean, yes. It’s a crush, I’ll get over it. Guilty.
Ever kissed someone of the opposite sex? - Innocent ish if we mean strictly me being the one to initiate the kiss. Platonic affection kisses guilty, romantic or sexual kisses innocent. If we’re including being kissed by someone of the opposite sex, guilty then.
Ever kissed someone of the same sex? - Guilty on all counts.
Kissed a picture? - Does it count as guilty if I was five and it was for art time? It was an effort somewhere between painting and cleaning all the paint off my face. If no, innocent otherwise.
Slept in until 5pm? - Guilty and then some, I’ve slept at weird hours before for night work. [coughs.]
Fallen asleep at work or school? - ...guilty on rare occasion, I try not to though. Sleepwalking, you know how it is.
Held a snake? - Innocent which is unfortunate, snakes are cool animals man. I’ve only seen them in pet stores and in documentaries.
Been suspended from school? - Ehhhhhhhh, technically innocent as I was not actually suspended. I was threatened with suspension if I was found to be acting out again. So I made sure to not get found out.
Stolen something? - If I had a nickel for every item I’ve stolen, I’d have a small fortune. Guilty as hell.
Done something you regret? - Guilty again. We all have regrets, don’t we?
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? - ...innocent, I hadn’t thought to try this yet, why am I living this far up north where it gets freezing cold and snows if I’m not going to do these things. I’ll have to do that when winter next rolls around. If I can, anyway.
Laughed until liquid came out of your nose? - Innocent. That sounds uncomfortable.
Kissed in the rain? - Uh. Guilty? It was an out of the blue surprise and I wasn’t expecting it. Nice though.
Sat on a roof top? - Guilty. It’s nice up there.
Kissed someone you shouldn’t? - Innocent?? Who would count as “someone you shouldn’t kiss”? ...maybe guilty? There was that one time I gatecrashed a party to, uh, avoid a close encounter with the law, shall we say, as a teen. Was yanking my hoodie off to try to blend in and change my look when I ran right into this guy—real cute, real surprised, but that left no time for me to really hide though. So I panicked, pulled him out of the way, and sprang a surprise smooch on him. I apologized after the coast was clear, but he was...ahem, more than fine with it. Ended up sticking around to talk to him. Nice night, nice guy, honestly. Rory's his name. We still talk on the regular.
Sang in the shower? - Innocent. I think.
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? - Do lakes count? Guilty if so. Blame Sharky and Pratt. Hurk helped.
Shaved your head? - Personally innocent, though others have given me a really close cut as a kid on occasion. Didn’t much care for it at all, then or now.
Slept naked? - Guilty. Sometimes summer got too damn hot and clothes were overkill because there was no air conditioning. Thankfully I make more than enough to afford AC now so I don’t melt into a puddle during a heat wave—or turn into an icicle up here in Montana during the winter.
Made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? - Innocent. I’d need to have an S/O to run that risk first. Pretty sure if I ever do get one there’ll be fights eventually because I don’t think anyone can avoid fighting forever, can they?
Donated blood? - Innocent, it just never came around as a situation to consider before now.
Eaten alligator meat? - Guilty, it was a food bank donated can of the stuff. Tasted kind of like a cross between something gamey, chickeny, and fishy?? Not real keen on eating it again, but if there was nothing else to eat, probably would.
Eaten cheesecake? - Guilty. Tasty stuff, cheesecake.
Still loved someone you shouldn’t? - ................... [What an uncomfortable question. He doesn’t want to answer that.]
Have/had a tattoo? - Guilty on multiple counts.
Liked someone, but will never tell who? - Guilty, though Joey already knows, she has this ability where she can just stare into your soul and know your deepest darkest secrets— [He’s kidding, Joey’s just perceptive and he knows it. He likes to pretend that she doesn’t know though, helps with the denial.]
Been too honest? - ??? Uh...I...would...not think so? Innocent?
Ruined a surprise? - Guilty, both accidentally and intentionally.
Eaten so much that you can’t walk after? - Innocent. I have wolfed down my food on more than one occasion though, even though I know I shouldn’t. It happens sometimes, but still working on it.
Dressed in a man’s clothes? - Guilty, I generally wear men’s clothes.
Dressed in a woman’s clothes? - Innocent as far as I know, though many clothes are unisex and I’ve gotten clothes from thrift stores and other sources before so who knows? Hoodies are for everyone.
Joined a pageant? - ??? I don’t think so, unless school talent contests and costume contests count? Didn’t really do much for those either. So, innocent.
Still have communication with your ex? - Pfft, I’d need to have an ex first for that. Innocent. Rory isn’t an ex by virtue of the fact that we never dated.
Been told that you’re beautiful by someone who meant it? - Innocent.
Cheated on someone? - See above, have not had an actual serious relationship to speak of for this to happen. Nor have I been the, uh, third person so to speak, so innocent.
Gotten totally drunk and missed an exam? - Innocent. I don’t really get drunk outside of drinking with friends socially, and even then I would prefer to keep my personal intoxication levels low.
A total stranger treated you by paying your fare? - Innocent.
Got so angry that you cried? - Guilty. Life sucks sometimes.
Tried to stay away from someone for their own good? - ...does for our combined mutual good count? Guilty if so.
Thought about suicide? - ...Guilty in passing, once. Not deeply or seriously. [He’s too determined to try to live his life, honestly. Even if he’s kind of worked up into a mess with all of the cult business and the psychic bullshit he has to deal with.]
Thought about murder? - Guilty. Very guilty if dreams and visions of possible futures count.
Actually murdered someone? - Innocent. Hopefully it’ll stay that way regardless.
Thought about mass murder? - ...Guilty. Comes with the territory of dreaming about the Reaping and Collapse for years upon years from different perspectives. Would prefer not to think about that. [It’s unsettling to him.]
Actually committed a mass murder? - Innocent, and hopefully will very much stay that way.
Rode in a stranger’s vehicle? - Do taxis count, or public transportation? Guilty if so, innocent otherwise.
Stalked someone? - ...guilty but it was for a good cause on all occasions. Namely keeping a third party from tormenting and or murdering them and their family members or friends.
Had a girlfriend? - A serious girlfriend? Innocent. A girlfriend in kindergarten school for all of one recess and free play period? Guilty ish? Kindergarten was wild, man.
Had a boyfriend? - Innocent since I would say I haven’t actually had a serious relationship yet. I’ve had...flings?? It’s weird to call them that, we didn’t discuss what name fit it at the time or anything, just acknowledged that we were both on the same page of not looking for something involving commitment at the time from each other. Just...you know, being there with each other for a little while, before we parted ways. It wasn’t a good time to pursue a relationship for me, at the very least. Not sure when a good time would be, though. After all this? [Assuming there is an afterwards worth mentioning once the cult situation is...resolved, shall we say. He doesn’t know what will happen then. Terrifying, isn’t it. Almost as bad as knowing what could and would happen in what he considers the Bad Ending from his point of view.]
Gotten totally drunk during a holiday? - Innocent. Don’t much care for loss of control over myself, as stated earlier. Some drinking is fine in good company and a safe environment.
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cookinguptales · 2 years
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Nadja also seems to sort familiars, vampires, and regular humans in two completely separated boxes so her liking Guillermo's family read to me as more proof that she's slowly been shifting him into a different category. Going along with the party was just! So close to the "oh Nandor/Lazslo/Nadja is Doing Something I will join" the vampires do with each other's bullshit ideas! It seemed significant to me that they put so much focus on the vampires explicitly saying they go along with unreasonable scenarios because they're more fun that way (The club. The interview) and then Nadja extending this to Guillermo's Shenanigans, which she wouldn't have done past seasons.
Honestly that they're treating him less like a familiar (the they here should also include Guillermo himself) and more like a Vampire Household Member With Rights bodes well for Guillermo becoming a vampire eventually, or maybe he attains some kind of full power vampire hunter status that grants him immortality, whatever, he's already a serial killer vibes supernatural creature of some kind
Yeah, that's why I was specifically comparing Guillermo to another familiar in my post rather than a human like Jenna, who I think Nadja always kind of pinned as someone she wanted to turn into a vampire. She definitely does sort people in certain ways in her head and can be bad about changing those cognitions.
I'm not sure if I agree that her being willing to go along with insane shit means that she sees him more of a vampire type (because lbr, she was very willing to do insane shit with Gregor, including things that made her vaguely uncomfortable like the carnival) but I think the fact that she didn't want to hurt him did. Like she wasn't all that broken up about Gregor dying, lbr, and she had zero interest in appeasing his ghost. But she did genuinely try to spare Guillermo's feelings at every juncture in this last episode.
To me, the way she behaved towards Guillermo in this last episode reminded me quite a bit of how she behaved toward Nandor in "Gail". She didn't necessarily like the situation, but she just wasn't able to hurt him in the face of those puppy-dog eyes. I've always loved that moment when Nandor just goes soft and earnest and says "please?" and Nadja just folds. And she kind of did that here, too.
I found it very interesting that she seemed to understand instinctively how vulnerable Guillermo was in this episode. Like she had no fucking idea who these people were in her house, but Guillermo's reaction when he saw her told her that this was Important. And then when she realized this was his family, whom he loves very dearly and who don't know anything about his life, she played along in a way that spared his feelings. She made fun of him a little bit, but she could have been much crueler than she was if she was just playing along for funsies. Like she didn't even talk about his penis! lmao.
Moreover, I don't think she actually was having fun, at least at first. Nadja seemed very genuinely wrong-footed when she first walked into that room and sat down with them, perhaps more than we've ever seen from her in the series. Like she really, seriously wasn't quite sure what to do and she didn't like that.
I do think she quickly became more comfortable with it, at which point it did become Shenanigans, but I do think initially she was like. "oh shit oh shit oh shit what do I do" and she landed on "get out of this without hurting anyone". It was surprisingly kind, for Nadja.
And then, y'know, her response at the end when Guillermo was literally begging her not to hurt his family..... yeah, that was the exact same Nadja we saw giving into Nandor and agreeing to meet with the werewolves. It implies a weakness in her that she did not have towards Guillermo a few seasons ago, and I do think it's a good sign that she's starting to see him as an equal and a true housemate.
Plus... honestly, I'll probably end up writing an entire meta post about this eventually... But I think seeing Guillermo's desperate attempts to keep his family (when they both know that it can't last) both during the dinner and after the fight did make her feel more connected to him. Like she said, she does know what it's like to see your family die in front of you. I think she looked at him in that moment and had a moment of very uncomfortable nostalgia and familiarity. The two of them are so similar in so many ways, and I think she had a brief, awful moment of looking in a mirror for the first time in centuries.
It's harder to hurt someone when you've seen yourself in them, however briefly... And I think that Nadja won't admit it, but the way she sees Guillermo now is forever changed. There's a fondness there, a recognition, an investment in his happiness. And yeah, that's part of why she was kind and allowed them to remember him coming out. Even if he could have done it again. Even if it places them all in more danger. Even if she didn't really get the significance of it herself.
She recognized that this was something that was desperately important to Guillermo and she let him keep it. And that's significant.
(Also, side note, I have actually thought a lot about Guillermo becoming not a vampire but some kind of supernatural vampire equivalent as an extension of him realizing he has to stay in their world to be his true self but simultaneously realizing that he's hung his hopes for betterment on being something he's not and he doesn't have to... but again, that's a different meta post.)
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miazeklos · 3 years
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i'm one of the few who thinks it was wishful thinking when cersei said that if jaime saw bruises on her face, he would fight robert. there's no way robert ever held himself back, no way cersei wasn't screaming esp if she or jaime pissed robert off so he'd time his visits with jaime's turn to guard, etc. jaime refusing to help cersei during the walk of shame is par course for him. when has he ever tried to prevent the sexual violence she experienced ?
Honestly, I think this one depends on whether we're talking book of show. With book!Jaime, I think you're right - even though he has that whole thing with hearing the Mad King abuse Rhaella, I still think he wouldn't have done much because he's just slightly too level-headed for it (and lbr he also has 0 compassion towards her or even try to talk to her about what Tyrion tells him, so I imagine him being angry with Robert could easily transfer towards her, too). Even if he didn't know, I wouldn't put willful ignorance past him either, where he didn't actually know but could guess and just didn't ask so he wouldn't have it confirmed.
Show!Jaime, on the other hand, probably would have actually killed him, IMO. There's a strange parallel with his book counterpart where he also kind of holds Cersei responsible for all of that shit, but mostly he holds her responsible for not doing enough to free herself while she had to remind him that it's not that simple (he was literally needling her to kill everyone in season 1 episode 3 and I never want to hear about how she's the more homicidal person in that relationship lmao). That one bit of prose from the 4x10 script (deeply cherished by me) sums that up perfectly: he was always the one pushing to bring their relationship under the light, but at the same time he worries about what it would cost her/them and at the same time he wants to kill everyone standing between them. He's pretty intense compared to his book version, so I wouldn't put some more kingslaying past him.
But yeah, in any case, I can imagine that imagining him doing that was probably an outlet for Cersei, in a way, even if she knew it couldn't happen so easily.
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karenwilson · 3 years
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Buck and his romantic relationships
Honestly there is so much to dig into when it comes to Buck and his romantic relationships. There are some constants that can be found in nearly all of his relationships and some things that are constantly changing and evolving.
One think that strikes me about the women he has dated were strong and independent or arrived there at the end. Abby, Ali, Taylor, even Veronica they all stood their ground and were their own champions. They put their needs and mental & physical well-being first, something that society always expects women not to do. It's something I actually really appreciate about their storylines even if it comes with Buck being unhappy. None of the women set out to hurt him, they just didn't want to put themselves second. And that is perfectly okay.
But let's dive deeper into each of his relationships. Bear with me, it's a long one.
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Abby Clark
Abby was his first serious relationship and now we know why. Due to his upbringing and his parents' abusive behaviour he never really forged any important relationships apart from Maddie. I think it got even worse when he got the jeep as he skipped from place to place, never staying for long anywhere. He didn't have ties anywhere and that made him restless and only seek out sex to forge some intimacy because that was all he thought he could get and something that would hurt him the least.
Anyway with Abby he was able to connect with a woman (one he wasn't working with anyway) on a deeper level. It only worked because it didn't start out as something physical. He didn't know what she looked, only knew her voice and good heart. I doubt they even would've met had it not been for the 911 calls, because they have so little in common.
Buck is actually pretty self-aware when it comes to his behaviour around women but hasn't really faced it before. That's why he tells her that he thinks it isn't a good idea if they meet, because he's worried he'll revert back to his usual coping strategies and it'll end up with him losing their connection.
But we also see that he's inexperienced and that although he knows how to seduce women he's lacking self-confidence in other aspects. He doesn't know unconditional love apart from Maddie and even that trust was broken when she didn't leave with him, when she left him behind. So he often worries he'll do something wrong and put her off; he goes over the top to get her attention - which he has done before in his life. Remember, he could only ever get his parents' attention when he did something big and reckless.
Abby has her own shit to deal with and Buck doesn't really know what to do with that in the beginning. It's not the light-hearted, sweet relationship he might have been hoping for but instead serious and heavy. But helped by Bobby's advice he works through his doubts and puts himself out there, puts Abby first. He always puts other people first, because that's who he is (and lbr, it's not healthy). Sadly to his own detriment because he is more invested than she is; Abby has her sick mother to take care of and is drawn in several directions at once. That's a heavy burden for anyone, especially someone working fulltime. She doesn't want to put her mother in a home as it wouldn't feel right but I also think it comes from a place of societal pressure for women to take care of other people. When her mother dies I actually thought it was a very real and important step for Abby to take put herself first, to take care of her own needs and do something that's vital to her claiming herself again.
I think Buck understands why she has to go but it still leaves him with the impression that he's never good enough, that people always leave. Because that's the experience he's made in life and nothing has changed that for him yet. And I totally get where he is coming from, that he believes it's his fault that she leaves, that he isn't good enough, that she doesn't love him enough. I do believe Abby never felt as deeply for Buck as he did for her but even if she did, sometimes love doesn't fix people. Abby was broken and exhausted and that's something Buck couldn't help with but that doesn't mean he wasn't enough.
She definitely did him dirty by leaving him in the dark and not giving him a clean break when she knew she was ready to move on.
Thanks to Maddie and the 118 he was able to partly work through those issues and put himself out there again.
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Ali Martin
To be honest, Buck dating Ali came out of nowhere for me. Yes, they did connect a bit at the beginning of season two but I honestly didn't see her coming back as a love interest for Buck.
(And is it just me or do I just not remember it but Bobby stopped giving Buck relationship advice after Abby???)
But I thought they were really cute when they were together; the show just didn't make a very good job of establishing their relationship. They had to few scenes on the show but that was by design. I think the show never intended to keep Ali around, she was (sadly) just a plot device for the show to propel Buck's development. It established Buck's behaviours and the patterns in his romantic relationships. He years for deeper connections and a serious romantic relationship that he gets in too deep too fast. Buck doesn't do shit halfway, he gives it his all.
With Ali he was able to go the next steps of moving on from Abby, he had someone who made him happy for a while but of course the show had to reassert that people leave Buck, further damaging his self-esteem. I think it's perfectly understandable for her wanting to end their relationship at this point, when remaining in it would cause her too much pain and grief by always being worried about Buck and whether he would come home that night, would still be alive. That's a lot for anyone to deal with. So it was better for her to get out at that point instead of dragging it out and therefore making it more painful for both of them when it eventually ended.
But Buck doesn't view it as her leaving because of the dangers of his job but because of him. So yet another person leaves him because he's not enough, not right. Being a firefighter is important to Buck, he sees it as his calling, something he is good at and feels right. He defines himself by his job and that ends up doing damage, especially after the bombing and his subsequent leg injury. Buck feels lost when he can't do his job anymore because he feels like he IS his job. That's why Maddie telling him he's good enough and is worth everything even without his job was so important. His job is an important part of who he is but he isn't his job.
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Taylor Kelly
I think with Taylor we saw the mere-exposure effect. Buck has a bit of a thing for voices as we first saw with Abby. With Taylor he knew her voice, heard her whenever he drove to work and obviously liked what he was hearing. And when he met her during that accident he was attracted to her not just by voice but by her looks as well.
Because of his dating experience with Abby and Ali and generally just trying to be a good person, he doesn't want Taylor to get the wrong idea. He likes her, possibly wants to get to know her more and doesn't want to leave her with the wrong impression. Taylor isn't having any of it, because she knows what she wants and what she wants isn't a relationship with him when they first meet. She's young, confident, successful and takes what she needs.
For Buck he has to cut the cord before he gets in too deep. He knows what he wants now and he doesn't want to fall back into his old habits of having sex and not having a meaningful connection. And if he doesn't get out he might fall too fast too hard already knowing it won't go anywere. Plus Taylor tries to expose secrets about his work family and quasi-dad and that would never work. Even if Buck wants romantic love he's not going to step on his 118 family to get it.
When they meet again more than a year later there are no hard feelings (whether that's amnesia on the writers' part or Buck has come to terms with her behaviour we don't know [yet]). Due to their previous actions Buck seems to think Taylor isn't a human being with feelings and hasn't been changed by the pandemic as well. I love Buck but it's ironic that he didn't want to hurt her in season two but inadvertently does so by using her as a shield in season four without her consent. I don't like what he did at all and Taylor was absolutely right on hanging him out to dry on that "double date" and calling him out on him using her like this, by not telling her what she was about to walk into. From her reaction we know he presented the situation differently because he (rightly) figured she might not come otherwise.
It'll be interesting for me to see where their relationship is going. I'd love for them to become friends and see where it takes them from there.
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Veronica
I'm only including her for two reasons: She was Buck's first step to dipping his toe back into the dating pool again and acted as a catalyst to rekindle/change Buck and Taylor's relationship. Plus she also fits the strong woman type Buck goes for (although she additionally has a no-fucks-given attitude and isn't here to coddle anyone and their feelings).
To be honest, looking back on it Buck felt a bit OOC to me during their date. I mean yeah, he's just starting to date again and isn't used to doing it anymore and people change but... He didn't have a problem talking to Ali, Abby, Taylor or any of the women he chatted up with at bars and other places before. Why would he suddenly get so flustered? Even if they started on the wrong foot and he put his foot in his mouth... it just like it was put by the writers there for the laughs and not because it's how Buck would (re)act?? It just feels weird to me now. What did feel real to me was his need to impress her and makes sure she likes him, because Buck needs to be liked and he's really uncomfortable with somone not liking him and not knowing where he stands. He needs to clear the air now, to know what's going on so he can move on. After Abby and being left to doubt himself and being left in the dark about where they stand has left a mark on him (see also him making sure to talk it out with the 118 and especially Eddie after the lawsuit).
Well, that's it for now.
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gra-sonas · 3 years
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I agree with you about the pacing and letting the characters breathe. I made my own post about it earlier. I think they’ve been suffocated by having 13 episodes. With such a plot heavy show, even having two or three more episodes, they’d have more time and space for character development and some more of these plot-less beats.
Lbr, no matter how many episodes they'd get, they'd do the same thing (i.e. they'd just add more plot), imo it has nothing to do with the number of episodes.
They just want to squeeze in too much plot, while being afraid of letting "slower" moments play out. That doesn't always mix well. And with these last two episodes in particular, they even "invented" struggles for some of the characters (So. Many. Pep Talks. OMG), and these scenes took up time/space, that could've been dedicated to slower, more emotional moments (like the Malex/handana scene).
Not to mention all the science babble this season. They spent endless minutes of precious screentime on talking about fake science, I wish they would've skipped a minute or two of that in favor of a full length Malex couch scene.
Or, y'know, spent less time on the millionth pep talk for the same 4 characters and instead had developed a relationship between Isobel and Anatsa that deserves the label "relationship".
Or they could've cut short some things and instead added on-screen moments like "freeing Max from the pod and his reaction to being body-swapped with Jones" or "Michael checking in on Sanders and making sure he's not dead".
Or instead of wasting time on redeeming Wyatt, they could've given Gregory a personality.
Sometimes they tend to skip over things we'd like to see explored more while dragging out things most people couldn't care less about. (Like Liz didn't have to explain in-depth how to science Max and Jones' DNA apart in every single episode. It's a show about aliens, handwave that kind of shit, and give us emotionally more relevant and interesting scenes).
I'm also still wondering what Maria's visions, that kept them going for the first half of the season were actually about, bc this HUGE storyline was suddenly dropped completely and never talked about again. ¯\_(°~°)_/¯
IDK, there are so many (often little) things that could've been handled/timed better.
I still think that S3's way better than S2, and I adore the new cast edition of Dallas. Like, he's legit one of my favorite characters already, and Quentin Plair is an absolute pleasure to watch.
But I also wish they wouldn't continue repeating some of the same mistakes that were annoying in S1 and S2 already.
Anyway, S3's done, and overall it's been a fun ride. And I couldn't be more grateful for a mostly "happy ending" for the characters - which should make the hiatus more fun. :)
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Janis & Jimmy
Janis: [Okay, so 'punishment' of cleaning everyone's rooms, like 1. you've been here a night, so how messy is anyone's gonna be 2. we're here for a long weekend vibe, does it need to be clean even as long as it is before you go, like? 3. you've left them alone without effectively any supervision when they being punished for canoodling, like alright lads lmao] Jimmy: What kind of bollocks paddy punishment is this? Jimmy: barely started and I've got 🚬 and 💰💰 Janis: the 'can't be arsed' variety Janis: nice Janis: only found some pocket change so far but saving the best rooms 'til last Jimmy: race you Jimmy: only need 💊 and 🥃 to have the ☠ full set Janis: alright, you're on Janis: what pills count though, important info, not agreeing if you're counting paracetamol, like Jimmy: You're the expert Janis: you what Jimmy: from 💀👑's shit stirring mouth to my ears Janis: she'll LOVE that you listen, I'm sure Jimmy: properly well trained, me Jimmy: go ahead and tweet that whenever you like, mate Janis: if you wanna make her jizz her pants, easier ways than using my feed for it Jimmy: yeah, that's TOTALLY what I want, obvs Janis: 🚬💰💊 and 🥃 first, I heard Janis: speaking of, how morally dubious is it to take Helena's meds? Jimmy: I'll keep the 🍫🍪🍬 I just found in my pockets, make it easier to fake that I'm pleased to see her Jimmy: reckon you're morally obligated to take 'em, Jesus is the only dickhead who saves Janis: 🐖 you, running through these halls Janis: I'll take 2, feeling generous, not greedy, unlike SOME Jimmy: Come get a 🍪 and save me from myself 😇🥇 Janis: if that's a nickname you wanna go with, I'll need 2, tah Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: 🐖💕 Janis: no, that's you Jimmy: I ain't the one with a 🍪 in each hand Janis: your pockets are just full, fatty Jimmy: Oi, I'm pleased to see you, Joanne Janis: not fooling me Janis: in on the secret, remember Jimmy: bit busy chucking water on Kieran's bed any road Janis: 😏 Janis: more like it Jimmy: I'll take my 🏆 full of 🥃 if you find owt Janis: I'll be SURE to let you know when I do 🤞🤞 Jimmy: you do owe me Jimmy: it were your fault it got taken off us Janis: How do you figure that? Jimmy: Who left it on top of the wardrobe for any dickhead to 👀? Janis: oh, where did you expect me to put it mid-performance? Jimmy: I wouldn't have let you sit on it if you'd left it where it were, not a kink Janis: 😂 you're DISGUSTING Jimmy: who's bed should I put this in? Jimmy: [a pic of the bra that I'm stealing from the OG convo] Janis: put it in Ben's Janis: his bird will lose her shit the hardest, be hilarious Jimmy: Which one's he? Janis: come find you and show you Janis: not actually told me what room you're in so Jimmy: do you wanna know? Janis: you mean am I having fun playing hide and seek? Jimmy: it's a valid question Janis: are you having fun then? Jimmy: Where's your answer? Janis: 🔍 Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: more fun than the bullshit activity they're all doing, no doubt Jimmy: There you go then, if you're happy, I'm happy, baby 💕 Janis: 🙄👏 Janis: screenshotted Jimmy: reckon we can do better than that if you ever find me, but alright Janis: long as it's not bragging about our crimes, can't be those idiots Jimmy: but what if our crime were fucking on 💀👑 or 💀#2 bunks? Janis: well, depending how graphic, that can definitely be posted, 'course Jimmy: only to her if it spares your 😳 Janis: Show me a point I've given a fuck Jimmy: You ain't talking to her and her receipt keeping minions, soz Janis: Exactly Jimmy: Where the fuck are you? Janis: was trying something, no cigar though Janis: you in their room then? one sec Jimmy: Go on, disappoint me, what couldn't you do? Janis: get in the teacher's rooms, they've got locks 😢 Jimmy: you can't break 'em? Hang on 💪🏆 Janis: [turns up and finds him, throwing whatever cigarettes and lighters she's found at him 'cookies, please'] Jimmy: [when he was gonna find her and vandalise the teacher's locks so they lowkey nearly bump into each other but he chucks the cookies at her before there's a #moment] Janis: [just nom-ing like there isn't a vibe, as per 'was saving their room 'til last, bet there's loads of rich girl shit'] Jimmy: [brushing a cookie crumb off her face with his thumb and then putting said thumb in his mouth to get said crumb 'gotta show me Ben's first'] Janis: [just stopping dead in your tracks for a hot sec there like you were stopping yourself running into his arm but that ain't why, nods 'he deserves it'] Jimmy: [we just walking so casually to this lad's room to fuck up his relationship lol] Janis: [soz not soz, whoever you are] Jimmy: [go and do #bragate and look through his shit lads] Janis: [the state these rooms gonna lowkey be in, so much worse than before] Jimmy: [I vote he should have some booze of some description so they have it when they go to Mia's room cos gonna be in there a while] Janis: [I concur] Jimmy: [when you shrug at her once you're done like anywhere we've missed cos should save hers til last] Janis: [points out the rooms she did so they can work out if they've missed any between 'em] Jimmy: [likewise tells her the ones he did and maybe they have missed one and there's nothing good but they can have an actual race to Mia's that she obviously wins] Janis: [😏 as we snooping with reckless abandon] Jimmy: [chucks some 🍬s at her with gold wrappers in place of a 🥇] Janis: ['you're buzzing to lose, remember' looks at the beds pointedly, then carries on going through their bags] Jimmy: [lights a 🚬 because fuck you ladies] Janis: ['what about me?' so #offended] Jimmy: [gives her a look like I didn't think you'd want one cos you're such an athlete but comes over and lights one for her, putting it in her mouth and everything cos always gotta be flirty about it] Janis: ['one ain't gonna get me as fucked as you, cute though, concern and that'] Jimmy: [makes a moment™ out of putting some of the ones they found into her pocket as well as his lighter that she was playing with before, not just a random spare and goes to lie down on the bottom bunk for a bit] Janis: [just leaves him be for a while, keeping busy over here, all casual, all fine, eventually, 'if you're going sleep, do your best to look cute so I can take some creepshots 'fore I piss off'] Jimmy: [just having his lil sulk cos he lost 'weren't the plan, that' and pats the bed beside him in his best attempt at creepy but then starts putting out all the shit he found to look through it] Janis: [best 😬 but goes over and adds her haul] Jimmy: [cracks open the booze whatever it is and takes a massive swig before passing it to her] Janis: [doing the same, throwing those two tablets out on the bed, like, offer is there 'she must be fucked up' shrugs 'decent shit'] Jimmy: [sharing everything else out like actual couple goals but leaving them cos he ain't that bitch] Janis: [when you ain't either so that's a #relief tbh] Jimmy: [lifts the pillow and puts them under cos that gal is gonna notice her meds are gone so might as well try and frame these bitches] Janis: [so into that it's not even funny lol] Jimmy: [then nudges her like which bed do you think is Mia's cos that's the one you wanna fake fuck on if you're doing only one] Janis: ['how's either of them getting up there, honestly' put gets up and peers for clues 'think this is Ella's, the PJs are negative sized, Mia wishes'] Jimmy: ['she wishes she were a top an' all'] Janis: ['so you are gay then' 😏] Jimmy: [😏 and chucks loads of 🍬🍫 up onto Ella's bed so either she'll be triggered or Mia will think they're hers and be mad or both] Janis: [gonna say you got some laxatives I'm flushing gals, along with pouring whatever expensive perfume/foundation etc down the loo, at least half of so you can't prove it 'cos it's not empty] Jimmy: [love that] Janis: [you both know you're delaying what you said you'd do though] Jimmy: [I'm literally sitting here thinking if there's a way we could let them actually hook up rn for the sheer #mood of it all without ruining everything lol] Janis: [like you could, and then pretend it didn't happen, maybe?] Jimmy: [that's what I'm thinking like if you both act like you're carried away by getting one over on Mia and drunker than you are, I just think it'd add to the weird dynamic and headfuck of it all if they did] Janis: [it's in character for her so if it is for him, we can] Jimmy: [like we know he wants to and would so as long as they both commit to acting like it didn't happen I think we can get away with it] Janis: [we doing it, gonna have to start talking if you're gonna get there though, lads] Jimmy: [lbr it'd we weirder if they didn't hook up at this point cos they always go too hard for the 'camera' and they don't have sod all clothes on yet again so they're gonna feel EVERYTHING when they're making out and dry humping all over each other, it'd literally only take something like that thing he does where he tries to say words and it comes out as a full moan to tip them over this precarious edge] Janis: [exactly, it only doesn't happen in this scenario if one of you is the type to say no for reasons or you don't actually fancy each other but you clearly do so] Jimmy: [we setting up both phones for all the angles as if you're not gonna forget about that immediately] Janis: ['least bottom bunk makes for #moodlighting, I guess'] Jimmy: ['more of a challenge to for us to break it though' because I remember in the OG convo they lowkey dismantled her bed and they should do that here because funnier] Janis: ['as long as you keep the top from squashing me with your giant head' we deffo should, a mood] Jimmy: [squishes her face like aw baby I will protect you, you small egg] Janis: [goes to smack his but as per, not actually lmao] Jimmy: [little playfight/pillow fight to get this tension going] Janis: [points if you can beat the stuffing out of these pillows] Jimmy: [you gotta lads and also leave your empty booze bottle hidden about in the hopes they get blamed for that too] Janis: [when neither of you are cool enough to party this hard, welcome for the rep boost hoes] Jimmy: [1000% living for the prospect of Mia getting in trouble with her dad though bye] Janis: [hahahahaaaaaha #disappointeddaddy] Jimmy: [that's a pisstaking # they need to use fr] Janis: [speaking of the socials, making sure there's Mia things in the background so you can start taking these shots like they bitch] Jimmy: [not actually stalling that time, it's genuinely important] Janis: [tis why we're here, currently, anyway] Jimmy: [crack on doing the most, you know you gotta go even harder than you did during the last photoshoot purely to annoy these hoes yep] Janis: [the level anything beyond making out/lovebites is unpostable, like do you need all these angles and different poses? nope but here we are] Jimmy: [like even if you just DMed them to her to ruin her ability to sleep in that bed you still don't need to go this hard lads] Janis: [could let her do the legwork lmao, we see you] Jimmy: [I love you two and your flimsy excuses so much] Janis: [hence this is so stretch] Janis: *NO Jimmy: [imagine if he'd fake dated some gal who literally only wanted to do the bare minimum] Janis: [an actual prude or the one girl that didn't fancy him] Jimmy: [he thought Janis didn't for a bit there LOL] Janis: [she got eyes honey] Jimmy: [LORD the eye contact rn don't even] Janis: [looking away when you literally cannot and ruining a shot or something neither of you actually care about but] Jimmy: [and kissing when you also cannot so your eyes get to be closed because you're not psychos] Janis: [literally running out of skin for lovebites] Jimmy: [hence you gotta hardcore make out and once you start you can't stop] Janis: [away we go] Jimmy: [this is simultaneously the best and worst idea lads, love it] Janis: [knocking those phones down 'cos do not need that in your life, even if we pretending this is that spontaneous] Jimmy: [accidentally recording their first time that they are gonna pretend didn't happen is not the one] Janis: [because Rio is your sister, purely, which is why she said no to being in the ad 'cos she thought he was being a dick and everyone else would] Jimmy: [I didn't even think about that in relation to the ad, oh boo you so smart] Janis: [hohaha] Jimmy: [if you two have been shook by how into each other you are, just you wait until after this 🔥 first time] Janis: [have fun downplaying this lmao] Jimmy: [god it's gonna be so awkward, at least we can have a teacher show up to take them to the next activity whenever we need] Janis: [when you can't separate 'cos the image but you can tell you being more distant and actually fake] Jimmy: [the next activity was trust falls and a blindfolded assault course which I think we should still do but we should do it different by saying they aren't allowed to work together for it cos bad eggs which they would hate despite the awks cos they both have trust issues and would be shamelessly jealous of the boy and girl the other is doing it with] Jimmy: [plus it makes more sense for the next bit cos in the OG they just went back on it later when nobody else was about and like he challenged her to do it better cos she was the blindfolded one I think and that's how she twisted her ankle which led to the fake injury but if they weren't allowed to do it together then it's more logical that all that would happen] Janis: [well done boo, fully approve] Jimmy: [yeah she was all like I could do it by myself I don't need you which can still be a thing but there's even more of a vibe this way] Janis: [a mood, lord knows who you're having to do this with first time around] Jimmy: [I think she should have to do it with Ben whoever he is for the lols] Janis: [oh ben, as long as your gf doesn't think it's her bra 'cos lmao] Jimmy: [we should give him Asia since they didn't do that project together this time] Janis: [she will probably drop you god speed] Jimmy: [we should say she does so Janis has to be all #concerned which is awks after what just happened] Janis: [after #caring for him] Janis: memorize that course before you do it Janis: no chance she knows left from right Jimmy: I ain't that thick, tah, I'll make her be the one to do it Janis: revenge, right Jimmy: you're alright, in well safe hands, you Janis: yeah, his girlfriend is neurotic, had practice Jimmy: safe hands til she gets hers on you then Janis: if I have to threaten to smack her too, I will Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: just don't wanna be dropped on my arse like you Jimmy: I get it, ain't gonna be a soft landing Janis: just don't like looking like a twat Jimmy: you'll look well fit and mysterious in that blindfold, mate, TOTALLY on brand Janis: obvious kink but alright Jimmy: long as it ain't Ben's Jimmy: 🐇🔪🍳 Janis: if it is she'll be blind too tryna win back his attention, not concerned Jimmy: 👍 Janis: need some 🧊? Jimmy: can only give me the cold shoulder on your own time, Judith Janis: haha Jimmy: hang in there, baby Jimmy: 😂 so you don't 😭 Janis: be able to hide 'em behind the mask Janis: your 'look' makes sense now Jimmy: Busted Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: you're gonna keep my secret? SO romantic that Jimmy: my trust has been fully restored, like Janis: not very goals Janis: you crying all the time Jimmy: works for sir Jimmy: he's having one now Janis: Ben's very capable and we're all feeling a type of way about it Jimmy: Capable of getting you sent to sick bay in some weird accident they'll use to warn dickheads not to piss about on school trips Jimmy: won't dry my eyes so I look 💔 Janis: I get it, you're feeling sore Janis: 🍑hurt Jimmy: I get it, you're the only one who's allowed to make me feel like that Jimmy: you're alright, I'll fake that I ain't Jimmy: we'll still be #goals Janis: bit late for that Jimmy: 💪🏆 me Janis: not with that braindeadweight Jimmy: Challenge accepted, sweetheart Janis: unless the race is to first aid, you've got no chance Jimmy: that's you Jimmy: but Ill let you wear my 🥇 if you ask nicely Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 🙄 even less chance of that Jimmy: 💔🎻 Janis: poor boy Jimmy: Alright Mia, have you know I found loads of 💰 a bit ago Janis: shared it with me Janis: you ain't heard how the rich stay rich? Jimmy: I ain't afraid to pull my weight Jimmy: or teach you owt you don't know Jimmy: and you still ain't sorted out how to do cute so Janis: fuck off haven't I Jimmy: Have you? Jimmy: Don't count if you're using it on Ben Janis: not my fault they separated us Jimmy: how do you work that out? Janis: don't start again Janis: we both got in trouble that was the point Jimmy: Or what? You'll piss off with Ben to first aid Jimmy: crack on Janis: yeah, obviously Janis: this is stupid, you said you didn't care about getting in trouble, so don't moan at me now Jimmy: you said you didn't either so take your share of the blame, dickhead Jimmy: weren't being 😎🥇 on my own Janis: how am I not? Janis: you're trying to put it all on me for no reason Jimmy: nowt's your fault, you just said Jimmy: 😇 you Janis: that ain't what I said Jimmy: what I read Janis: whatever Janis: fact remains there's no time to be cute right now Jimmy: [does something cute to prove the point that there always is] Janis: go away Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: very cute Jimmy: you're right, you're smashing it Janis: there's no need Jimmy: don't sound like a cop out at all, that Janis: what, what do you want me to do Janis: because they chase around after boys, and that's sad, not goals Janis: I'm doing my part right Jimmy: nowt to get worked up about then, is there? Jimmy: sort yourself out, girl Janis: literally do one Jimmy: LITERALLY stop crying, meant to be on brand for me, not you Janis: [you need to ignore him gal] Jimmy: [take a time out Jimothy, we know why you're being a dickhead but it's still rude] Janis: [oh the drama] Jimmy: [do your best to get Asia round this course, we know it's gonna be a shitshow] Janis: [oh gal] Jimmy: [we should say they go back on their own when everyone's on lunch, it makes sense] Janis: [we gonna need to propose that but yes] Jimmy: [gotta be alone for that dramaaaaa] Janis: [wandering off 'cos cannot be bothered to do this lunch moment right now] Jimmy: ? Janis: can have a 🚽break, can't we Jimmy: long as you do it before so 💀👑 don't get her hopes up that you're joining the ranks Janis: don't need to, do I Janis: why you think she hates me Jimmy: I'm going for a 🚬 then, come find me if you wanna go in Janis: don't you need bed rest Jimmy: bit rude for a come on Jimmy: don't really get me going if you slag off my stamina Janis: it's a, let's not go in, plea, if anything Janis: say what you want for mine, I can't be arsed yet Janis: stressful enough training Ben for the past, however long Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: come have a 🚬 Janis: alright Jimmy: you not hungry? Janis: nah Janis: we eat loads Janis: 🍬🍫🍪 Jimmy: No need to go in then Janis: you can, if you are Janis: say I'm sick or sleeping or some other cute bollocks Jimmy: You're alright, already had my dose of ☠ Jimmy: wouldn't wanna 💀💀💀 without you by my side Janis: Obviously Janis: or in this dump Jimmy: unless it were on that assault course Jimmy: get everyone right in the shit Janis: good idea Janis: go back and I'll finish the job she half-arsed Jimmy: you admitting you ain't got me well trained either? Jimmy: nowt to worry about, I'll keep that secret with my dying breath Janis: didn't get chance, did I Jimmy: you're saying 💀💀💀 job done but if you were 🥇 I'd be in the safest hands going, wouldn't I? Janis: I could Janis: but maybe I want you to lay down in the dirt and 💀💀💀 Jimmy: Stop flirting with me Janis: you wish Jimmy: for 💀💀💀? Duh Janis: then go on then Janis: find a blindfold substitute Jimmy: always trying to get my clothes off, you Janis: maybe it makes you more interesting Jimmy: you waiting for me to disagree or what? Janis: dunno if bighead or 💔 Jimmy: while you're pissing about 🤔 I'm actually waiting for you here Janis: awh Janis: one of us has to, babe Janis: hold on Jimmy: funny and clever, fuck me, full package you are, girl Janis: DUH Janis: closest you're gonna get Janis: didn't know people as thick as Asia genuinely existed Jimmy: modest an' all Jimmy: her parents must be northern, giving her a name like that is a dead giveaway Janis: guess what her sisters are called Jimmy: Arabia and Altrincham, obvs Janis: truly not that far off Janis: America, another continent kinda, alright, then they realize they've run out so China Janis: 🎻 she'll have such a complex that one Jimmy: 💔 their last name ain't White Janis: 😏 Janis: [show up from wherever you've been freaking] Jimmy: [lights her a 🚬 cos she said she wanted one] Janis: [smoking that as we walk to this assault course] Jimmy: [keeping it casual and not at all awkward] Janis: [the vibe] Jimmy: [get to this assault course and immediately start messing about boy cos you're so 💪 obvs] Janis: [🙄 but using this 🚬 as an excuse to sit and 👀 on the low] Jimmy: [when you come and sit by her after a bit but that not close because you obviously are so unbothered] Janis: [shakes head 'stamina, who?'] Jimmy: [push her cos 1. oi 2. you have a go then] Janis: [gesturing to her cigarette like excuse me 'such a slave driver, you'] Jimmy: [takes it off her and takes a drag like well you've got no excuse now] Janis: [ugh-ing about it but going, without the blindfold moment first] Jimmy: [👀 shamelessly] Janis: [doing it backwards 'cos show-off like see, so easy] Jimmy: [such a sarcastic slow clap 'close your eyes and have a crack at it'] Janis: [🖕 'I remember being the one who did it well the first time, not you' ] Jimmy: ['weren't the fastest though, were you?' a fake sympathetic face cos at least Asia was one of the worst so like they fucked up the best #soreloserlogic] Janis: ['only because Sam and Lewis are so close they're like telepathic, not fair'] Jimmy: ['first place or nowt, baby' cos he's pretending that he's so fine with the nowt because Asia just to wind Janis up like she's yet again crying] Janis: ['for you, maybe' L on the forehead moment] Jimmy: ['don't need telepathy to know you're -' 💔 mime 'and they ain't about now, what's your next excuse gonna be?'] Janis: [just doing this like fuck you boy] Jimmy: [putting a timer on his phone and waving said phone at her] Janis: [that phone lowkey your enemy, so shaming you have to fall al soz about that] Jimmy: [when you're so genuinely scared that she might be hurt that you can't be a dick about it and literally rush over to help her up] Janis: [we are so fuming boy watch out] Jimmy: [just looking at her like ARE YOU OKAY TELL ME because very concerned] Janis: [when you're so stubborn and 😤 just hobbling away like no good day] Jimmy: [catching up to her easily obvs and trying to force her to lean on you for support/ go sit for a sec] Janis: ['I'm fine!'] Jimmy: ['stop being a dickhead, you'll fall again'] Janis: ['I wasn't being a dickhead, that's you'] Jimmy: ['you are now' helping her whether she likes it or not] Janis: ['don't talk to me'] Jimmy: [picks her up and takes her to where they were sitting before without saying a word of course and puts her leg up on him because you're meant to elevate it] Janis: [just grumbling about how ridiculous this is, but mostly to self] Jimmy: [just giving her time to calm down cos obvs he's gonna take her back but not til she's ready cos they might have to see people] Janis: [give you some time gal, then you just sat there pouting but not as seething] Jimmy: [taking her shoe off for her really gently because you don't know how much it hurts or not/if it's gonna swell up and you know she's not gonna tell you how bad it is or isn't] Janis: ['alright, perv' but we winced a bit so you know it does hurt some] Jimmy: [😏 but his 👀 are worried] Janis: ['at least I don't have to do any more activities' but low-key annoyed about that like why am I here lmao] Jimmy: ['they'd have to let me help you, if you insisted you did wanna do 'em' because same vibe as when they talked him back onto activities after they sent him to his room, we know what teachers be like 'could be very goals'] Janis: [shrugs 'guess so' leaning forward to inspect your foot yourself 'you just don't wanna be left alone with Asia'] Jimmy: [playfully nudges her but we all know it turns into that feelsy lean they do] Janis: [letting it be but you are the one to shrug him off 'it's not that bad' sighs 'no excuse to talk to Mia's dad, still'] Jimmy: [can't help a little genuine amused smile 'have to fake it's loads worse' when you're joking for the benefit of Mia's dad rn but that is what they're gonna do lol] Janis: ['why not? LOVE sympathy, like'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like are you serious or nah cos we could] Janis: [we thinking about the potential benefits here like hmm 'taking away attention for #2 has it's appeal, sure'] Jimmy: ['and I can do sympathy in a way you'll like' when that sounds way saucier than you meant it to] Janis: [lols like that is purely bants and such a horrific prospect you haven't even considered it at all seriously 'I won't like it, but they'd LOVE it, so it's worth doing'] Jimmy: [shrugs like that's what you meant anyway] Janis: [shrugs back like you suggested it don't get moody with me] Jimmy: [shakes his head because he's not and he doesn't wanna fight with her rn but then picks her back up and carries her away before she can potentially pick a fight, only stopping when they get back to be like gesturing with his head do you wanna go in the direction of the lunch room and put on a show IRL or the sickbay to put on a show via posts on socials or her room to do none of those things] Janis: [gesture for the sickbay, 'cos it's more dramatic and you still don't wanna go do the lunch room rn for all the reasons] Jimmy: [we taking her and getting her some ice with a playful look because of how she took the piss out of him saying he needed some earlier] Janis: [grump 😒] Jimmy: [when you can actually do the pouty lip kiss thing for the first time because we gotta do socials posts] Janis: [when that's too much of a mood] Jimmy: [we're all dying and wanting to die] Janis: [doing it again purely 'cos you mad, not so he has to do that again, nah] Jimmy: [does do it again though because that hook up was no time ago and we're very much not over it] Janis: [I highly doubt there's a nurse, just someone who comes to do your first aid then bounces so you know, get into it] Jimmy: [fully just having a makeout sesh that you literally have no excuse for] Janis: [we need to, tbh] Jimmy: [I'm loling because it reminds me of when Ali twisted her ankle going up the mountain cos she was so 😍 for Carly especially because of all the posts he's gonna do on socials to milk this, suck it Ella, nobody cares that you got 'hurt']] Janis: [lmao, it is like that, soz you can't regale us like a cringe mum 'cos not on them good terms currently even though you'd all be slightly better 'cos your mum really held it down for all y'all soooo, yeah not even Mia cares, HOW MUCH DOES THAT HURT] Jimmy: [at least Janis can let Jimothy do all the work posting cos you so injured babe and he can be busy with that so y'all don't hook up again] Jimmy: [though would make lol if you two went insta live from sick bay] Janis: [Q&A 'bout the situation lmao go off] Jimmy: [everyone has a million questions about your everything rn we know] Janis: [and we need to feel like we back on top of faking this, right] Jimmy: [mhmmm] Janis: [going through her phone beforehand to see if there's any burning Qs] Jimmy: [when you just chuck her yours cos cba and also got that trust™] Janis: [🙄 'you do your share of the work, yeah?' 😏] Jimmy: [🙄 but you hold your hand out for your phone back cos #whipped] Janis: [shakes head, shows him Ben's girlfriend popping off 'cos that bitch like LOL] Jimmy: [pats her on the back IRL like good job babe cos genuinely amused] Janis: ['gutted I ain't gonna get him without a fight, obviously'] Jimmy: ['if you can't take her on with one good leg, you don't deserve him'] Janis: [😲 'how dare you'] Jimmy: ['I dare 'cause I don't give a shit, remember'  yeah okay Jimothy we know you're a rebel without a cause calm down 'nowt's too much trouble'] Janis: ['put it on your business card you now know how to make'] Jimmy: [😏 'nice bit of labour red font, and what do you know, colour of blood an' all, proper on brand that'] Janis: ['have to try again if you want to draw blood, bastard'] Jimmy: ['and you'll have to ask nicer if you want me to join your ranks, vampire girl'] Janis: ['think not, hot topic'] Jimmy: ['What the fuck is hot topic?' he's genuinely like ?] Janis: [😂 and not telling him like look it up and feel the burn on your own time, boy] Jimmy: [poking her which turns to tickling her like tell me] Janis: [shall never even if we reinjure ourselves rn] Jimmy: [casually a good place to start the stream though like oh are we live already oops we're just here living our best lives] Janis: [having a better time than all of y'all always] Jimmy: [making sure to lowkey be nursing her through this stream cos she's oh so injured and he's oh so attentive #hoesbejealous] Janis: [fight every instinct you have girl, pretend you loving it and be SO appreciative] Jimmy: [we making it look so casual like oh lemme prop your ankle up a little more, lemme get you another pillow for your head, lemme get you some water, no it's okay you answer this question brb] Janis: [#anatural because you raising your siblings that's the tea, LOVE to know how these questions are going] Jimmy: [that is the tea even if she's lowkey like why's he so good at this the weirdo #kinks] Jimmy: [but we know this is going brilliantly cos they are both funny fucks and bringing the chemistry] Janis: [yeah you have no idea beyond how he portrays himself as being so good at all this stuff and you can't question that without outing yourself so you shan't obvs] Janis: [probably a solid mix of bitchiness and perviness tbh] Jimmy: [when lunch can't last forever and you have to decide if you're going to whatever the afternoon activity is or if just he's going and she's staying there or you're staying together or what] Janis: [I say she better stay so it seems legit but you should go and pine sir] Jimmy: [not even fake we 👀 you boy] Janis: 🤞 you get teamed with someone with two braincells this time Jimmy: you'd have to cross more than that Jimmy: nowt but idiots about round here Janis: you and her are soulmates Janis: A* couple Jimmy: Tah, I'll get in her DMs and let her know you reckon so Janis: go for it Janis: honestly, probably the only thing that'll deter her Janis: inability to fuck me over 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: Woe's you is the #mood over here, mate Jimmy: 🏆 for staying on brand Janis: so you're gonna fatally wound me and then take the piss? nah Jimmy: if I were gonna fatally wound you, you'd be 💀💀💀 Jimmy: didn't push you off or owt Janis: be nice to me to their faces at least Janis: story change so quick Jimmy: [does some extra post about how much he misses her etc] Jimmy: alright? Janis: 👍 Janis: 🏆 for staying on brand Jimmy: not a challenge for me Janis: so you keep saying Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: meaning I should ask you that Janis: they eat up that live Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Whatever Janis: next week or whenever you can pick someone else to do it with Jimmy: What are you on about? Janis: if you reckon I'm so shit at it Jimmy: I never said Janis: you say it all the time, boy Jimmy: steady on Jimmy: you did alright, there's nowt to get a mard on over Janis: whatever, like I said Jimmy: What? Janis: what? Janis: what are you doing, anyway? Jimmy: I'm asking you what's the matter, nowt else til you've answered that, like Janis: nothing's the matter Janis: just don't know why you have to talk to me like such a dick all the time Jimmy: I'm a dickhead Janis: yeah Jimmy: What do you want me to talk to you like? Janis: literally just like we both have a stake in this plan and that we're both doing shit about it, nothing more or less Jimmy: okay Janis: alright then Jimmy: I'm fed up of this bollocks, cover me Janis: 👍 no fucker is coming back here to check on me so Jimmy: just me if anyone @'s you Janis: yeah, sure Janis: no doubt assuming at this point, idiots, like you said Jimmy: I'd chuck 'em all 🏆🏆🏆🏆 for giving us such a hand but I'd be there ages Janis: generosity has to know some bounds Janis: or it'll just get weird Jimmy: right Janis: anyway, you need any more 🚬 Janis: got loads now Jimmy: don't you need 'em? Janis: nah, not a smoker Jimmy: I'll come pick up 'em when I do you then Janis: literally this time or Jimmy: can't get back on your own, delicate little lass like you who's walking wounded an' all Jimmy: what kind of fake boyfriend would I be Janis: ugh Janis: suppose so Jimmy: I get it, you're fed up of this bollocks yourself Jimmy: should've put 💰 on you not staying put in that bed for nowt Janis: you didn't wanna stay in bed either when they sent you out, if I recall Jimmy: I weren't in pain but alright Jimmy: you said no fucker's coming to check, come with me if you want Jimmy: I reckon I might 🔓 the teacher's rooms Janis: I'm putting it on, remember but 🤫 Janis: yeah? Jimmy: funny that, I were putting my 💔 on at getting sent out Jimmy: heard you were such an athlete, reckon you've got it in you to hop over and meet us or what? Janis: 😱 no way! you're SUCH a social butterfly though Janis: 🐇 on the brain, new boy Jimmy: 🦘🥊 Jimmy: so 💪🏆🥇 you Janis: don't need to compliment me, it was my idea, obviously coming Jimmy: How were it your idea? I just had it Janis: 'scuse you Jimmy: you Jimmy: nicking my 🥇💡 Janis: such a wind-up Jimmy: that's you an' all Janis: 😒 Janis: ignoring you Jimmy: be my #ultimategoals if any lass could Janis: if you talked more, they'd get over it faster, I reckon Jimmy: if they let me get a word in, I might do Janis: that's what they want, mute hot boyfriend Jimmy: 💔 for 'em that my brother's only a kid and got a fair shout not growing up to look like me Janis: you joke now Jimmy: do I? Janis: 🤡 Jimmy: don't forget the 🔪🩸 Janis: brother ain't got a yellow mac, has he Jimmy: did do when he were a bit younger Jimmy: and he loves pissing about with a bit of paper Jimmy: ain't hard to make a ⛵ Janis: just don't let him go out in a torrential downpour like a fucking idiot then Jimmy: he's scared of 🎈 any road and going fucking anywhere without me Jimmy: be alright Janis: cute or annoying? Jimmy: How would I know? Jimmy: obvs a shit judge of character if I'm not 😍😍🤤 for 💀👑 Janis: or you cba to deal with her for a bigger tip than the one you get as is Janis: replaces minions with some frequency so, reconsider, babe Jimmy: about as much chance getting a tip off her as she does getting me to put even the tip in her Jimmy: done a crazy ex, and she ain't rich enough to make me reconsider having another go at it Janis: that's not a 😍😍🤤 mental image Jimmy: soz Janis: should be Janis: what kind of fake boyfriend Jimmy: [shows up to help her on this very short stroll to where the teacher's rooms which he absolutely doesn't need to do cos he's that kind of fake bf] Janis: ['what do you reckon Mr. Lucas deemed essential for this trip?' we chatting and walking] Jimmy: ['Old school porn mags about virgin school girls' because we treating him as so old he can't work the internet] Janis: [shudders 'too real' he has been there since gen 2 so in their minds you that old lol] Jimmy: [nudges her but then does the OTT catching her thing like obvs she's gonna fall just from that cos so injured] Janis: [more of a push than a nudge 'cos perfectly capable, tah] Jimmy: [we all know you just wanna touch her boy but takes a dramatic step back like okay then cos she was probably leaning on him at least a little bit] Janis: [😒 but striding out like fine] Jimmy: [takes a 🚬 from behind his ear cos #mood] Janis: [making this injury so much worse than it needs to be is the #mood here for you] Jimmy: [when you offer her the 🚬 after a bit cos sharing is caring even though you have loads now and don't need to share remotely] Janis: ['downgrade noted' miming 💔 but taking it like 😏] Jimmy: [we know you just wanted the excuse of passing it back and forth to walk closer to her again instead of hanging back] Janis: ['bet Ms Burke has bare booze an' all'] Jimmy: [irl 🤞 cos what you found earlier is long gone and they've probably drunk what they confiscated off you if it was better than what they brought #tahIan] Janis: [coming through for the teachers at least] Jimmy: [and he will be annoyed Jimothy took it in the first place so mission accomplished there 'looks like she put a fair bit of it away, better crack on before there's nowt left' and picking her up like you're taking ages gal but shamelessly just wanna] Janis: ['you've got a blatant kink' when you meant to sound pisstakey but deny it's not a mood so you end up sounded flirty anyway] Jimmy: ['it's only blatant if you keep tweeting about it' because we've gotta bring it back to fake or we'll die/do something we shouldn't] Janis: [looks down at herself being carried, like, 👌 but drops it 'so you finally admit you don't do everything'] Jimmy: [looks at her ankle 'be the size of your head if I don't, gotta admit that, you'] Janis: [shrugs like it doesn't matter as if the only thing that keeps you sane isn't running and other exercise] Jimmy: [shrugs back like he doesn't know that, at least on some level cos how sporty you are] Janis: [jumping down literally as soon as you can 'cos awkward and looking at him like 'impress me then'] Jimmy: [automatically steadies her when she jumps down because such a big brother but then we're cracking onto this breaking and entering cos wouldn't be that hard it's not exactly state of the art] Janis: [we just gotta kick it open and deal with the fact they'll probably assume it's you two] Jimmy: [they both wanna get in trouble it's fine] Janis: [mhmm] Jimmy: [kill some time looking through all their shit lads] Jimmy: [I like to imagine you both pissing about with the ugly teacher clothes too] Janis: [100%, and dragging their lives based on even the flimsiest of evidence 'cos fuck the police] Jimmy: [when you're having such a lovely time you don't even drink yet cos you don't need to] Janis: [we need to fuck with Mr. Lucas' stuff the hardest like actually go too far, so that he will remember, 'cos any other teacher, even if they're like 'you'll be in trouble when we get back!' would forget after 3-weeks, but he needs to remember so we can be straight in that detention moment after] Jimmy: [10000% approve of that because he's gotta become their nemesis] Janis: [actually shady we not just joking fully here] Jimmy: [mhmm it'll give you something else to bond over cos you're casually becoming friends and falling in love during this bit which would be a fantastic montage] Janis: [true tea, we can always use detentions to our advantage so why not, it's community service lite] Jimmy: [is there anything else we wanna have happen before the activity time finishes and he carries her into dinner and gets her food for her and everyone dies about it?] Janis: [unless we're gonna hit 'em with another #moment] Jimmy: [you know I wanna cos I'm that bitch but is it too #risky?] Janis: [nah 'cos they can hear something/someone and have to literally bolt 'cos teachers room] Janis: [then she'll need carrying legit 'cos running is not the one rn but have to] Jimmy: [that's such a mood like it's the equivalent of running and handholding but even cuter bye, try not to die because you're so in love rn kids] Janis: [so we kissing and not getting a phone out before this, just so we remember] Jimmy: [cos god knows I might not be allowed to write it in tags 😒 but important q is who initiated it?] Janis: [hmm, can be her] Jimmy: [okay go have your coupley dinner moment lads, they can't stop you sitting together now she's an invalid] Janis: [make him feed you so then you can feed him in a suggestive manner, they'll literally be fuming and starving at that] Jimmy: [god bless, and thank god you can kiss as much as you want rn cos you'd be fuming you got interrupted] Janis: [and you can go some 'cos doing the most to be the most so enjoy that] Jimmy: [we know that's the mood you're in rn lads and the teachers are already sick of you so who cares if they're bothered] Janis: [or anyone else like who do either of you like, so fuck 'em] Jimmy: [and it lends itself nicely to the vibe of putting on a show for whichever of the flatwhites are in your room afterwards because that still needs to be a thing] Janis: [we can separate them for a bit before that if you want though?] Jimmy: [why not, amp up the tension and sexy mood a bit further lol] Janis: [my thoughts exactly] Jimmy: [like we know he's fake nursing her again but the #mood is a very different one to the cuteness of sick bay earlier so] Janis: [yeah, clearly it's a sit-down type activity so you can't insist you need to work together now] Jimmy: [I dread to think what boring bollocks] Janis: 💤 Jimmy: 😎🔨 Janis: 😶 🦷🦷🩸🩸🩸 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: you'd have more intrigue, I reckon Jimmy: work hard not to look my 45 years though, don't I? Janis: you haven't had enough fake compliments? Janis: yes, so youthful, not a day over 38 😘 Jimmy: just saying it might look less like I were hiding my crow's feet and more like I were keeping it to myself that a bird pulled 'em out Jimmy: and how am I gonna do 😍 with 🚫👀 Janis: have to 🖐 Jimmy: [signs some fake compliments at her which we know aren't that fake] Janis: not what I meant but even without 👀 you have a better chance than me of getting it right Jimmy: I know you meant 🖕 but it'd have the fans in an uproar, Jasmine, think on Janis: I meant feel faces, you dick, not so un-PC that I don't know the difference between 😎 and 🔇 tah Janis: I'm keeping it goals here Jimmy: [comes over and shamelessly touches her face and hair in such a suggestive manner like 1. you meant like this yeah, I'm just getting my practice in 2. I'm keeping it goals too] Janis: still 😍 Jimmy: There you go then Jimmy: crisis averted Janis: get the ✂️ Jimmy: [we casually sending her doodles of all the ways they could die rn, starring adorable cartoon JJ's] Janis: such a dreamer, you 💘 Jimmy: romantic was taken by you Janis: obviously Janis: ask anyone Jimmy: had the Q&A a bit ago, babe Jimmy: you hit your head an' all? Janis: who was funny taken by, like? Jimmy: Ben's missus Janis: true Janis: shame Ben has a head like a turnip or I'd break them up for real Jimmy: that'll be why I said it, don't lie to mine, do I? Jimmy: don't have to get with him to do that Jimmy: I'll crack on to his soon to be ex Janis: if you think 🏉 heads are better Jimmy: Tah for the head's up, I won't feel hers Janis: lowkey got braille going on Janis: but you don't fake owe me that Jimmy: be a right laugh Jimmy: why wouldn't I? Janis: make you her next victim, probably why not Jimmy: I get it, you wanna be the one to 💀💀💀 me Jimmy: Alright, Jules, I'll steer clear Janis: that's the deal Jimmy: 🖋🩸 Janis: tempting Janis: jazz up this project Jimmy: Hang on, I'll open up a vein for you Jimmy: what could be more #goals? Janis: next Q&A, babe Jimmy: 👌 Janis: torture kink confirmed for Lucas 😩 Jimmy: nowt we weren't in the know about ages ago Janis: this is bold though Jimmy: you could boldly go back to sick bay Jimmy: they don't know you didn't hit your head, and one that size the headache would be 💀💀💀 Janis: no more fun that, is it Janis: may as well be bored here Jimmy: Depends Janis: I checked, the meds are shit Jimmy: but what Ms Burke uses to self medicate weren't that bad Jimmy: no 🍾 like, but you'd be alright Janis: I'm not as 😢 as her Janis: trying to get me drunk is a choice though Jimmy: right little ☀ you Jimmy: I'm trying to stop you whinging Janis: 'cos you're loving life Jimmy: no dickhead is, that'd be the point Janis: so 🤐 like it's a me problem Jimmy: I never said it were Janis: you was whinging bout it Janis: your table well interesting, yeah? Jimmy: You've got an excuse to do one, someone'd stop me before I smacked my head into the desk enough times for 🤕 Jimmy: that were what I said, nowt else Jimmy: take it or don't, girl Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: I told you, I'd be bored regardless, we don't need to go over it again Jimmy: Alright, fucking hell, forget I said owt Janis: Gladly Jimmy: 👍 Janis: if you want a break from your duties, I'll go rest after Jimmy: if you wanna tell me to piss off, do it properly Janis: fuck off turning shit around on me Janis: you want me to go now, just ignore me, no one is going to call us out if we give it a rest for a hot sec Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: fine Jimmy: is it? Janis: yes, stop asking like that Jimmy: stop being a massive twat Janis: why bother Jimmy: I don't want you to go nowhere, alright? Janis: alright Janis: what is it then? Jimmy: What? Janis: wha's wrong? Jimmy: What's wrong with you? Janis: Charming Jimmy: right Janis: you just seem moodier than normal, weren't calling you a total weirdo freak, was I Jimmy: Dunno, I read lips not minds Janis: another tagline Jimmy: give me my 🏆 whenever Janis: you know you want it off sir harder Jimmy: Mia's already deemed that non-goals, can't be a goer Janis: 💔 Janis: get it now Jimmy: 🎻🎻😭 Janis: Baby Janis: can't handle 🥈 Jimmy: you'll get used to it Janis: forgot my question mark, whoops Jimmy: yeah yeah Jimmy: I'm 🥇 ask anyone Janis: I'm the prize, ask anyone Janis: being nice to you, dickhead Jimmy: I'd have to give 'em a smack if I did do, that kind of fake boyfriend Janis: well 'ard Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: be less bored an' all Janis: getting to slag me off? yeah, you love it Jimmy: Getting to defend your honour, dickhead Jimmy: I'm the only one who gets to slag you off that's what 💕 is Janis: 😏 Janis: sounds about right Jimmy: should've probably phrased it more 🤓 for the screenshot Janis: where's my poetry, dickhead Jimmy: Hang on Jimmy: [writes her something actually good cos #muse] Janis: you save that from your crazy ex? Janis: s'clever, actually Jimmy: Do you see any other lass' name ❌? Janis: just think you were trying to remember mine, tbf Jimmy: What is it again? Janis: not important Janis: just stick with a pet name that makes us wanna puke Jimmy: Hers don't begin with the right letter, always get that far, me Jimmy: [draws her a doodle of a the JJ love heart for the first time ever] Janis: [mking sure the whole table sees so subtly] Janis: she weren't willing to change it? Janis: part-timer Jimmy: weren't willing to 💍👰 her, that were her next one Janis: your ex is a child bride? Jimmy: grim up north, you've been told Janis: that is 'it's their culture we shouldn't judge???!' grim though Jimmy: like I said, nowt to do with me Jimmy: if it stops her shagging half the north it'll be a bit less grim that she were Jimmy: *than Janis: 😬🤐 Jimmy: *😐 Janis: did you break up 'cos you came here, or was it ages ago? Jimmy: Did you not clock how unbothered I were there? Janis: that's just your face all the time Jimmy: *😒 Jimmy: That's my face Janis: 😍 there he is Jimmy: [makes her a paper boat and puts it on her desk] Jimmy: next time it's 😭 you've got that to piss about with Janis: [Blows him a kiss] Janis: 🤤🥴 you want me to get my arm ripped off by a clown? hot Jimmy: [IRL 😍 because we will lose ourselves if we're too real rn] Jimmy: #kinkunlocked Jimmy: That mean you'll let me 🪓🦶 or what? Janis: that's why you want me bedbound, all adding up now Janis: currently, I'll take it, do your best to do your worst, or whatever Jimmy: 🛏⛓ Jimmy: 🎀 Jimmy: You alright? Janis: gonna take Helena's pills, then I will be Jimmy: What's wrong? Janis: feels like someone's 🪓🦶 from the inside out Jimmy: Fuck this, I'm taking you to your room Janis: You don't have to, seriously Jimmy: [does though and tells the teacher that's what he's doing like I dare you to stop me bitch] Janis: [not in a position to argue, just like 'that's what they're for, she's got a slipped disc or some bollocks'] Jimmy: [casually having a row with the teacher like we're going good day and they do go and he puts her on her bed so gently like the softest boy and goes to get said 💊 soz Helena but not soz Mia if you do get the blame for this after having those couple under your pillow and more ice and an ankle support or whatever from the shit first aid like brb] Jimmy: how many? Janis: [oh boy you so pure] Janis: take another 2, please Janis: then I'll have 1 for tomorrow too Jimmy: One sec Janis: sorry Jimmy: What for? Janis: all this nonsense Jimmy: it's nowt Jimmy: be a load of bollocks if you were just sat there in pain when we can sort it piss easy Janis: I can't believe I even hurt myself, it's so stupid Janis: but if she notices, I'll get her better, don't worry, like Jimmy: When she notices, I'll let her know it were 💀👑 don't you worry Janis: maybe she won't, might be emergencies only type of shit Jimmy: doubt she'd be here if it were that bad Jimmy: 💀💀💀 trap that assault course Janis: by the time you get back, I will have curled up in a ball and died, and that's only a self-drag so, don't start Jimmy: What if it's broken? Janis: my ankle? Janis: it ain't, I'm 99% sure Jimmy: that 1% is 💔 Jimmy: be 100% for me, like Janis: alright, I am Janis: there's no way I'd have this much movement still, it was running on it earlier, that's all Jimmy: [we back cos we hurrying, give her that pill and some water and tuck the other one in her pocket for later (always so intimate boy) and put the ice on, then we're just sitting on the floor close as we can so she can have the entirety of the bed which would be Grace's as a correction corner cos I doubt he carried her up the ladder] Janis: [oh yes, soz to kick you out your bed gal, make later even more awkward lols, just hiding your face under the covers 'thank you'] Jimmy: [the softest 'hey' ever as you uncover her face and gently touch it cos you're worried that like she's in so much pain it's making her feel sick or something] Janis: [it is just shame and that should be apparent on her face, such a pitiful pout moment 'I am not this bitch, I swear'] Jimmy: [just brushing his thumb over her bottom lip like no put that away please 'I know' cos they may not know each other but he knows that much thankfully] Janis: ['can you stay, for a bit?'] Jimmy: [makes himself comfy on the floor next to her as a yes] Janis: ['you can get in, just don't literally sit on it and we'll be fine'] Jimmy: [bites his lip in a worried and adorable manner cos wants her to be comfortable but obvs does get in] Janis: ['don't worry, if you come across all rapey, still got both fists and one good leg' but gets comfy on him like, jk, I trust you] Jimmy: [a genuine lil smile cos we still worried but we're also amused and feeling a bit better] Jimmy: ['still got your teeth an' all, well deadly weapon them' always gotta be a bit saucy with it even in times of struggle] Janis: ['that's a different scenario altogether, gotta be nice for that to happen'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like oi cos he has literally been so nice and draws a halo round his head like excuse you] Janis: ['yeah, you have, but not like- you don't wanna' shakes her head and does devil horns on her own] Jimmy: ['I wanna - no you don't even go there sir shut your mouth and change what you were gonna say 'make sure you're alright' like true but] Janis: ['I know' smiles a bit, to reassure him 'these tabs are good so I'll either pass out or have a good time in the hottest of secs so, win-win'] Jimmy: [shakes his head but in an affectionate way] Janis: ['sorry I can't share'] Jimmy: ['You're alright' shrugs 'We've still got Ms Burke's stash to split' lowkey very much the last thing on his mind rn but we're on brand] Janis: ['go get it then' let's not gal full 😈 energy, but actually holding him around the waist so he cannot go anywhere 'cos rather this, we know] Jimmy: [snuggles into her more than he was like shh shh naughty baby 'in a bit' but we're not going anywhere] Janis: [happy sigh] Jimmy: [just being soft and quiet and snuggly] Janis: [go to sleep or you'll get loopy gurl] Jimmy: [both sleeping til Grace bowls in like a loud bitch not realising they are aka a my sister move] Janis: [SHOOKETH] Jimmy: [at least he can ask her how's she feeling because he genuinely wants to know but it's also goals] Janis: [when you say 'so much better thanks to you' 'cos genuinely but then you do the LOOK so  the fake lives on] Jimmy: [just asking her if he can get her anything cos genuinely but giving her a LOOK back in case she wants to take it in saucy direction, for the fakery ofc yep] Janis: [when you get to go 'you' and pull him down for a smooch 'cos excuse, thanks so much lol] Jimmy: [enjoy that lads cos we're all sleepy and in our emotions] Janis: [can't JUST start the show when the other flat whites come in, how unrealistic, no other reason we're snuggling so hard and telling him how good he is] Jimmy: [I like to imagine that Grace is getting ready to fuck off to one of their rooms to leave you to it when they descend because you know Mia knows you've been through her shit but can't prove it] Janis: [you and everyone else sweaty] Jimmy: [literally get over yourself babe, the only room they didn't do were their own, you ain't special and we're 'ignoring' y'all] Janis: [so hard, like not even saying hi 'cos just so injured and so concerned and also so into each other] Jimmy: [as far as y'all are concerned nobody's even there except for Grace cos she was impossible to ignore soz not soz ladies] Jimmy: [also he's ignoring his phone going off cos that full attention ™ would make them die] Janis: [when has a boy ever or when have you ever 'cos don't care about any lad that much we see you two 💀 Jimmy: [Pablo wouldn't and neither would you bitches, do love that it adds to your new boy mystery though Jimothy cos they don't know you're raising your siblings and your dad's a prick] Janis: ['do you need anything?' 'cos not that bitch, again, unlike you two] Jimmy: [shameless excuse for a make out that we're taking, sucks to suck gals] Janis: [when it's lowkey soft but still intense, compared to going the hardest for full effect 'cos that's actually more impactful rn] Jimmy: [I love that even though we know it'd make JJ die more, soz you two] Janis: [having to be all types of vulnerable rn] Jimmy: [#doitforthevine cos again when have any of the flatwhites been vulnerable with anyone] Janis: [try to stay alive] Jimmy: [at least whilst you're dying you're taking them down with you] Janis: ['I can probably get in my bed if you want yours back' 'cos where even are you all, just standing watching, need some privacy here lmao] Jimmy: [Grace would be like it's fine because has been trying to get them all to leave since they got there but nobody's listening lol] Janis: [get in that top bunk anyway 'cos like, not fine, your friends are crazy] Jimmy: [don't worry gal he'll help you] Janis: [at least now you can communicate 'cos can't straight up be peeping that hard, 👍 like ?] Jimmy: [just nods cos we're more worried about her ankle and checking on that not because this is such an intense situation rn nope nope] Janis: '[it's really fine now!' in the like OMG, you're SO precious tone they would use but also tryna be like actually though] Jimmy: [making her comfy af anyway because you're that kind of boy] Janis: ['get comfy with me'] Jimmy: [does and does a really loud happy sigh that we'll never know if it's real or fake] Janis: [saying sorry that he has to stay in with her and asking if he's so bored then loud whispering all the ways she gon' make it up to him] Jimmy: [saying back that he could never be bored with her and he wants to stay even though they're all here because true and kindly take the hint that you aren't taking from Grace ladies] Janis: [honestly, what do you want, you have two other rooms you could be in, it's so blatant lol] Jimmy: [maybe all his loud whispering about what he's gonna do to take care of her, in the sauciest manner he could ever mean that will make you leave but unlikely, we know Grace and Hollie are doing the most to be like LET'S GO but] Janis: [the lookiest of LOOKS honey, 'what are we waiting for then?' loud enough to be a warning like bitches go] Jimmy: [he's taking clothes off of her rn so you better leave there's another warning] Janis: [bra on your head or something equally as comical] Jimmy: [Grace is going so you've literally got no excuse to stay now Mia but you do have an excuse to sleep with that boy that Grace was flirting with cos you so mad] Janis: [sorry bra head] Jimmy: [I love ruining her life so much it gives me life, I also love that JJ are shamelessly gonna carry on for a bit just in case they come back cos of forgetting something cos actually wouldn't put that past Mia or Ella tbh] Janis: [very dedicated] Jimmy: [mhmm not at all that you really wanna do everything you said you were gonna do] Janis: [mhmmmmmmmmmmmm, not at all awkward when you have to stop 'cos realistically they gone] Jimmy: [at least you can finally check what was popping off on your phone in case Cass or Bobby need you] Janis: [yes, a must, as per you just kinda stuck but esp. with your ankle so just relish in that awkward] Jimmy: [I'm gonna say he has to facetime him cos they'd be signing anyway so all the secrets are safe] Jimmy: [but checking on the bae throughout like do you need me to get you anything because that bitch] Janis: [v handy actually, just watching but not in a creepy way just interested] Jimmy: [casually gonna be the longest phone call ever as poor Bobby misses him] Janis: [poor bobert, hop down for a wee or something gal give some space] Jimmy: [you know he's gonna help you automatically even if you could actually hop over] Janis: [taking a shower just to kill time, even though he's probably gonna be #concerned ] Jimmy: [he's gonna be 😒 at you gal] Janis: [hohaha] Jimmy: [don't actually slip over or anything though that's the last thing we need] Janis: [being careful if you aren't gonna come in and reprimand us it fine] Jimmy: [I wish you would boy but that's risky for other reasons] Janis: [we know, not that shameless or bold quite yet] Jimmy: [one day kids] Janis: [are shameless enough to come out in your towel like bonjour] Jimmy: [cue his grumpiness cos 1. #concerned 2. we know what she looks like] Janis: ['what?' like you kinda know but you know, play like you truly don't have a clue] Jimmy: ['what do you mean what?' he's fuming] Janis: ['I felt gross' bit rude like 'cos YOU'VE been all over me but probably groggy from the meds and just spending more time than you ever in a bed 'it's fine'] Jimmy: [😒 af because we've jumped to the conclusion that she is saying because of him and also he hates all that it's fine bollocks] Janis: ['come on' throwing her hair towel thing at him once she's done drying it 'I didn't fall'] Jimmy: [throws it back at her a little bit too hard cos we know the 3. I didn't write is that the fam stuff has also got to him, cos Ian is the worst] Janis: [is honestly like oh! but we dropping it with a shrug 'cos clearly about more than you, you aren't that bitch either, just carrying on getting PJs on etc like alright] Jimmy: [go to get her some water to give her some privacy to put clothes on and also to give her as a peace offering] Janis: [just like tah with a head nod] Jimmy: [he's going to the window to 🚬 cos can't leave in case someone sees him] Janis: ['how long did we nap?' literally no concept 'cos never sleeps that well tbh] Jimmy: ['just for a bit' cos realistically wouldn't have been an age 'go back to sleep if you want'] Janis: [shrugs like 'could do' 'cos lowkey evenings on school trips are this awkward like what we gonna do] Jimmy: [just smoking in silence in case she does wanna but then after a while is suddenly like 'come here' cos sees Mia going into that lad's room but doesn't know who's it is] Janis: [does and is 😏 and already tryna do a zoom shot but misses 'come on then' 'cos gotta be nosy and life ruin] Jimmy: [gets his hoodie which is now hers and puts it on for her first including a zip up moment because she only has pjs on and he doesn't want her to be cold] Janis: ['A*' 'cos all part of the performance obvs] Jimmy: [we just shrugging cos we got places to be spying, 100% has also set a timer to see how long she's in there for that shade though] Janis: [lmao, this poor random boy 'I reckon this is his first time, you know'] Jimmy: [visibly cringing cos imagine your first time being with Mia, it'd be bad enough sleeping with her any time] Janis: [nods like mhmm, 'cos on some level you think he's JUST cringing about first times] Jimmy: [when he probably would think about his first time with the ex and cringe some more] Janis: [pushing him like 'focus' as if this is v v serious sleuthing] Jimmy: [pushes her back like oi because always, unrelated kinda but I think we should say it starts raining for that #mood] Janis: [love rain baby] Jimmy: [puts her hood up for her as a shameless excuse to touch her hair] Janis: [when it's still damp from the shower so this makes you smile like okay boy] Jimmy: [smiling back automatically and it's a cute lil moment ™] Janis: [messing up his hair 'cos likewise] Jimmy: [we falling in love again, quick boy gather what evidence you can without having to witness anything gross] Janis: [or being seen by miss thang, not stalking you in return tah] Jimmy: [she wishes, oh snap though what if Mr Lucas sees them] Janis: [JJ or Mia and poor boy? Jimmy: [JJ because he hates them and it amuses me like why you lurking in the rain sir] Janis: [how sinister, absolutely] Jimmy: [we'll let you finish your mission first, he don't need to interrupt that] Janis: [but a good reason to separate you again] Janis: I've got an 💡 Jimmy: but is it🥇? Janis: some would even say 🔥 Jimmy: Go on Janis: what if we repurpose the website we made for the computer project Janis: upload the 📸 and 📹s Jimmy: Alright Janis: it's a good idea Janis: I don't mean now, I mean when she really deserves it Jimmy: you don't reckon she deserves it now? Janis: she always does, obvs Janis: but she can do worse Janis: and we can probably get more RECEIPTS to make it more 🔥 Jimmy: and you'll get a bigger 🏆 off me Janis: priorities Jimmy: that's your top one, yeah Janis: idk if that's even my fake top priority Jimmy: Oi, don't protest too much, girl Jimmy: you'll bring Bill's 👻 out Janis: don't threaten me with a good time Jimmy: 👻 can't threaten you with owt Janis: or just moving my shit slightly to one side Janis: throwing a few plates, fucking with the radiowaves Jimmy: I'd only have to get it for you if I did do Jimmy: and grab myself the 🧹 Janis: 1. rude, because it's both your fault that I'm an invalid and your fault that you keep treating me like one 2. stick it up your arse and you'll have two hands free 👌 Jimmy: 1. never said I weren't gonna keep putting the work in, just that there's no need to create loads of extra Jimmy: 2. another 💡🥇 you're on one today, Janet Jimmy: 3. Why's it alright for you to threaten me with a good time? Janis: 1. didn't say that either, you clearly love it so why complain? 2. all I do is 🏆 you need to pay closer attention 3. 'cos I know how to have one, OBVS Jimmy: 1. you reckon this is me putting a complaint in? Bit awkward that 2. when I ain't off the clock I'll be sure to crack on with that and owt else your heart desires, babe 3. You know how to have a 💡🥇 it ain't the same thing Janis: 1. don't have a special form for it or a manager so, now's your only chance 2. 🤮 3. yeah, would know, as I have 'em both Jimmy: Keep on and I might take it Jimmy: but as things go, I told you 😒 just my face Janis: love it, I already told you I know Janis: say no more Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: 🤤 Janis: genuine Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: fake Janis: 👍 for clearing that up Jimmy: 👍 for not having genuine 💔 about it Janis: 🙄 imagine Jimmy: you're alright, tah Jimmy: don't need any nightmare #inspo Janis: 🎻 Janis: it'd be your privilege Jimmy: would be 😭🎻🗭😱 that were what I just said Jimmy: it's my privilege to be off the clock for a bit Janis: sound like an old lag Janis: enjoy your freedom Jimmy: that'll be 'cause I am Jimmy: Helena's 💊 wore off yet or what? Janis: what you saying? Jimmy: you heard me say it Jimmy: are you alright or what? Janis: you're bad at taking a break Jimmy: It's pissing it down, it'd put my 🚬 out Jimmy: you might as well answer me Janis: not all breaks last 15 minutes and include two 🚬s, you know Janis: do anything your 💘 desires Jimmy: sounds fake, that Jimmy: and my 💘 desires your answer, dickhead Janis: I'm alright Janis: felt better earlier, obviously Janis: but not taking no more from her Jimmy: have a drink then, I left it there Janis: want me to roll it down after? Jimmy: it might float away Jimmy: keep it for now Janis: 👍 more for me Jimmy: Oi Janis: yes? Jimmy: leave my share alone, pisshead Janis: well demanding Jimmy: how'd you work that out? Janis: don't you want me to manage my pain? Jimmy: it were my idea Janis: exactly, now you're being stingy Janis: Ms Burke knows how much you need to really take the edge off Jimmy: half'll get the job done, lightweight like you Janis: not even true Jimmy: you're not alright then Janis: I meant I'm not a lightweight Jimmy: and I meant, it's a bigger edge that you're telling me if you need owt more than your half to see it off Jimmy: *than Janis: Only taking the piss Janis: I'll save your half Jimmy: are you? Janis: Alright ✔ taking the piss ✔ Janis: be all good by the time we leave, I reckon Jimmy: 👌 Janis: are you Janis: was on the phone ages earlier Jimmy: Alright ✔ taking the piss ❌ Jimmy: didn't realise you had a ⏲ going Janis: no need Janis: escaped and had a shower, 'nuff said Jimmy: you do take ages Janis: fuck off Janis: got a lot of hair, ain't I Jimmy: taking the piss ✔ Jimmy: you're alright, reckon my ex's 🚿⏲ could give Gracie a run for her 💰 Janis: probably 😭 in there then Jimmy: 💔 she can't fit the full orchestra in Janis: have to be minted for that Janis: how big does a bathroom have to be, anything more than a box with a bog in is a flex Jimmy: bet 💀👑's is MASSIVE Janis: which one? 💁 Jimmy: her personal one, duh Janis: play 🎾 whilst you 💩 Jimmy: play ♟ with human sized pieces while you 🤮 Janis: human pieces if you could get the bloody staff 😤 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: some dystopian shit that Jimmy: she looks like she's crawled out of a warzone or some bollocks Janis: very zombie Janis: NEVER eat all those 🧠 though, zombie on a diet Jimmy: cancer ward would do an' all but she'd be about the pity too much for me to sign off on that one Janis: ugh, she'd be infuriating if she had a terminal illness Jimmy: she has Jimmy: and it's spread to 💀#2 Janis: nah Janis: well part-time Jimmy: obvs, rich girls ain't got no need to do owt full time Janis: 'cept be a mummy, when the time is right Jimmy: nah, that's part time an' all if you can get the staff Jimmy: and keep your husband away from 'em Janis: face like 💀? good luck Janis: poor nanny would only have to look vaguely human Jimmy: she won't keep a lad long enough to 💍👰 Jimmy: have to 💰👶 Janis: wouldn't put fuck all past her Janis: 💰🤵 Janis: why not Jimmy: 🛏⛓🦶🏻🪓 Jimmy: bit weird how it came back round Janis: 🛑 to 🤐? Jimmy: nowt weird about that Janis: it is your kink Jimmy: it were you who were genuinely 🤤 about me shutting up a bit ago Janis: and it was you that 🛏⛓ Janis: phase one almost complete Jimmy: if it were, you wouldn't be pissing about going for 🚿s Janis: well soz I got away Jimmy: me an' all, obvs Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: If you think of a kink that don't involve 🛏 you can hmu Jimmy: 🤯 Jimmy: I've got nowt else to offer you, soz Janis: damn Janis: guess I'll be taking loads of 🚿s Jimmy: don't give me a bell when you twist your other ankle then Janis: 🥺 Janis: what if Ben ain't as good at fetching me things Jimmy: that'll mean you ain't as good a trainer as you reckon Jimmy: but go on and give him them 👀 Janis: you're right Janis: that's ridiculous Janis: obviously I'm 🥇 Jimmy: There you go then Janis: it's been fake Janis: gotta dash Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I know, the 💔 is real Jimmy: I can't 😭 if you keep on Janis: performance anxiety Janis: cute Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: it's gonna take you ages to dash anywhere, you better crack on Janis: rude Janis: I'm great at 🦩 Jimmy: you are always 😳 Janis: *never Jimmy: never @ Ben Jimmy: you've got that right Janis: if Ben asked me to fake it an' all, I could Jimmy: duh Jimmy: nowt you wouldn't do for that lad Janis: not fake anal Janis: need to save something for the fake honeymoon, tah Jimmy: You're alright, it don't count for you god fearing paddys Janis: that's Ben's line Janis: not my pimp Jimmy: be knackering, well in demand, you Janis: thanks? Jimmy: I'll leave you to it then, mate Janis: night Jimmy: in a bit Janis: left your hoodie on your door Jimmy: it's yours Janis: it's not though Jimmy: is til we're done Jimmy: so unless you're 💔 me for Ben tonight, have it back Janis: I'll give it back tomorrow Janis: got plenty of hoodies that could be yours at home Jimmy: 👌 Janis: oh Janis: and I left the bottle Janis: grab that 'fore Ms Burke sniffs it back out Jimmy: you need a hand back? Janis: depends Jimmy: ? Janis: where that hand is taking me Jimmy: Depends Janis: I'm not getting back in fucking bed Janis: I'll get sores Jimmy: I'll flip you over Jimmy: 💪 me Jimmy: and I've got that 👻 rep to keep Janis: steady Janis: 😏 Janis: not gonna start a new rep being one of those lonely women who has paranormal orgasms Jimmy: I get it, no threat of a good time Jimmy: where do you wanna go then? Janis: mhmm Janis: after I ❌ out 🍑 stuff and everything, still tryna see it from the back Janis: I dunno, there has to be something less deadly than the assault course Janis: the lake? Jimmy: Alright Janis: I'm gonna go mental if I don't get out Jimmy: I said alright Jimmy: hang on Janis: finish whatever's keeping you busy Jimmy: [appears like a 👻] Janis: [faux 😱 for the horror movie moment] Jimmy: [passes her the bottle he's just taken a swig from automatically] Janis: [raises a brow 'cos had her half, clearly, but as clearly does not turn it down] Jimmy: [picks her up obviously] Janis: ['you know it's a way down there-' gestures in the general direction '-yeah?'] Jimmy: ['that'll be why you need carrying' cos he's like stop walking about ffs, such a worrier] Janis: [tuts 'go halves with you on that tab tomorrow at this rate, boy'] Jimmy: [such an OTT fake offended face to hide that he actually is] Janis: [pinches his cheeks and his biceps 'n'awh, you're good, just saying, don't try to come for me for your physio'] Jimmy: [pretends that he's gonna drop her cos she's messing about like don't come to me for yours] Janis: ['I'll drag you down with me' looking at the muddy ground and looking at him like, game if you are] Jimmy: [SUCH a LOOK] Janis: ['think of the photo op' trying to sound casual but not] Jimmy: [puts her down and gets his phone out, giving her the same kind of impress me then look that she gave him earlier when he broke into the teacher's rooms] Janis: [gets down, with however much difficulty, on her knees, then gets back up with the same and points at the mud like, see what I'm saying here, 'cos in PJs so lot of skin we could cover] Jimmy: [just looking at her like don't hurt yourself babe] Janis: [😒 'come on'] Jimmy: [comes over and smears mud on her 😒 face and you know it's meant to be in a pisstakey manner but it's just saucy] Janis: [gets her phone out so she can film the kiss she gives him to get that mud on his face] Jimmy: [not at all casual makeout sesh enusing] Janis: [pulling him down in the mud like you said you would] Jimmy: [so #into it whenever and wherever we know] Janis: [again, these pics such an after-thought immediately] Jimmy: [still gonna pull you into his lap though as an excuse to keep you in frame, no other reason at all] Janis: ['you like me here, yeah?' under the vague pretense we 📹 as per] Jimmy: [when you just nod because even though we're 'filming' you don't trust yourself not to say something you shouldn't] Janis: [shifts somehow closer so they're fully pressed together 'what about here?'] Jimmy: [a NOISE because it's the perfect answer for this 📹 but also real af] Janis: [a noise in return 'you're so fucking-'] Jimmy: ['you' and kissing her really hard before she can dispute it] Janis: [bye phone tbh] Jimmy: [you did better at pretending than I thought you would lads tbh] Janis: [well done for even bothering babe] Jimmy: [literally] Janis: [wouldn't have if you had a clue what he was thinking ever but there we go, as is the fake dating era of it all] Jimmy: [it's very much the same for him if it's any consolation gal] Janis: [it ain't for her but it is for us lmao] Jimmy: [we love it soz not soz] Janis: [this is v cinematic] Jimmy: [at least you'll have to get in the lake to get all this mud off so that'll be a #mood too] Janis: [don't get hypothermia though pls] Jimmy: [god it would be so cold I can't even imagine] Janis: [gonna need to snuggle it's the law] Jimmy: [yaaaas, can and will send him back for a duvet if necessary too] Janis: [your school is never being allowed back 'cos of you two lmao] Jimmy: [you're welcome kids of the future who won't have to do all this bollocks] Janis: [tbh] Jimmy: [gonna vote for more rain when they in the lake to make it even more cinematic] Janis: [hundo] Jimmy: [what a beautiful evening] Janis: [we out here in a romcom in all the ways] Jimmy: [mhmmm] Janis: [how we keeping this PG-13 bois] Jimmy: [realistically we might have to give you something else to pretend didn't happen lol] Janis: [mhmm agreed] Jimmy: [no stopping that mud moment if we're being real] Janis: [s'what I'm thinking] Jimmy: [what happens on this trip stays on this trip so we'll allow it] Janis: [deal with that later] Jimmy: [you lowkey both think there won't be a later and you'll just not have to deal because he's holding onto that false hope of leaving very hard and you aren't planning to string out this fake dating that long regardless] Janis: [imagine if he left lmao, just never seeing this boy you lost your v to like did it even happen] Jimmy: [I will not imagine that because how sad] Janis: [soz that ain't happening boy but not at all] Jimmy: [it all works out in the end, you're both welcome] Janis: [but for now, what are we doing] Jimmy: [you two should probably get some sleep if you ever get warm/stop snuggling post lake] Janis: [are we separating though?] Jimmy: [they'll sleep better if they're together so it depends how mean we wanna be] Janis: [how you vibing lads] Jimmy: [we could make a case for keeping your distance after all that romanticness but also saying fuck it if you've come this far] Janis: [hmmmmmmm, I'm saying she's down to say fuck it, like you don't need to chat about that either if you just do it] Jimmy: [his room or hers] Janis: [we've woke up in her room once so switch it up for that max coverage] Jimmy: [good idea boo] Janis: [crack on] Jimmy: [have your spoon and get some sleep, you must be knackered]
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James & Ava
James: [okay so we all know the mood is that he sees whatever she's posted and literally goes there immediately with no thought of who else could also be cos he NEEDS to check that she's alright. The drama of it all] Ava: [but luckily no one is there and she'd be so shocked but also grateful 'cos no one wants to be alone and feeling unwell, esp. not in hospital] James: [when he'd have to say he was her brother so he can take her #awkward] Ava: [lollol finding that more amusing than you would otherwise 'cos concussion breaking your awks] James: [oh she'd be so cute I can't] Ava: [just hugging him so hard] James: [we all need that moment but sadly it cannot last forever because he'd have some driver doing circles endlessly cos there's nowhere to park at hospitals ever] Ava: [seriously, and it's so expensive] James: [when you were so desperate to get in there you didn't think about how long it could have taken like she could've been admitted and that driver is just lowkey out there for the rest of time] Ava: [lmao i wonder how long he'd wait for that bag before getting bored, luckily they'd low-key be ready to get rid 'cos too busy and overcrowded] James: [practically pushing her out the door as soon as they saw someone show up for her so he doesn't even have time to give her a feelsy speech lol] James: [just help her out to the car boy, you've had a lot of practice with drunk girls in heels and it'd be the same vibe] Ava: [just saying thank you over and over] James: [meanwhile he's asking her if she's okay over and over like every step they trying to take here] Ava: ['Oh God, you must think I'm so stupid, I swear, they came out of nowhere'] James: ['We both know you're not stupid, Ava' shout out to that text cleverness 5ever tbh 'I'm just glad you weren't seriously hurt'] Ava: ['How have you been, I've been so worried' shoutout to this concussion giving me shameless freedom lol] James: [when you can only shake your head because 1. you ain't been good 2. you don't wanna tell her any of it and 3. you don't think you deserve her worry/ want her to worry about you] Ava: [sad face] James: [stopping to stroke said face, don't fall over girl, he's got you] Ava: ['James-' and then just looking 'cos what can you say] James: [looking back at her cos likewise but then you gotta drop them eyes cos so sad] Ava: ['you look tired' and making more of an actual effort to get into this car] James: ['I am tired' but helping her in and doing her seatbelt for her because not gonna see her struggle ever, telling the driver her address because there's nowhere else you can take her but home even though you have no idea if as soon as you get there someone is gonna show up for her and you obviously don't want that] Ava: [patting your shoulder like 'you can come sleep' like no no one can babe] James: ['no' but a little smile cos she's cute af 'I'm supposed to keep you awake'] Ava: [when you make a face like 😏] James: ['by which, of course, I mean, you've got a 8 hour date with Edward Cullen ahead of you'] Ava: [grinning like a fool but then being like, wait 'you'll stay though, can you?'] James: ['I'm not going to leave you alone' oh the heavy unspoken implication that she might not be if the friends or fam descend 💔] Ava: [resting your head on him as a silent thank you but then lifting it like 'so awake, promise'[ James: [stroking her hair and keeping an eye like] Ava: [being like let me tell YOU a story and honestly God knows but it'd be cute and she'd be trying to match his storyteller energy] James: [when that's lowkey the moment he falls in love with her bye] Ava: [asking the driver to play the new moon soundtrack] James: [loling and honestly when was the last time he did that, we all know it was when they were together] Ava: [live the emo life and love it babes] James: [he's GOTTA dance in his seat to keep her awake, no other reason #notanerd lol] Ava: [just clapping and cheering him on like nothing to see here driver God bless] James: [so not what that man was expecting to 👀 or 👂] Ava: [freaking out drivers is low-key a fave] James: [the one time you're happy about London traffic tbh] Ava: [even though we ain't gonna interrupt, you don't know that boy] James: [speaking of, probably send a text or something to check on the kids because you just ran like assumedly they at their grandparents but] Ava: [never leaving 'em with Chlo we all know] James: [lord her and Jay would kill each other] Ava: [I'd genuinely be worried for her safety so don't blame you remotely boy, least her parents are invested] James: [literally though & you can have those grandparents forever babs we ain't taking them away from you] Ava: [awkward that your mum never shows but that's just that on that] James: [lbr that's for the best stick with your dads kiddos] Ava: [we all know it, even if Matty might not end up remembering much] James: [Ava lowkey her mum now oops] Ava: [and Jay's actual auntie...lol what a tangled web we weave boo] James: [at least they can all stay connected] Ava: [true facts] James: [makes my heart happy even if it's weird] Ava: [lean in to how weird this family is James] James: [they weird af but they're better than the one he's got #noshadetoTeddythough] Ava: [all the shade to you Chlo, sort it out] James: [her poor future children & husband] Ava: [honestly, good luck] James: [he'd have to be about everything she is or else what the fuck] James: [anyway we've been sidetracked get to Baze's house you two] Ava: [movie marathon awaits, what else do we vibe or shall we just try and see what comes out, like] James: [let's just run with it and see what happens because we extra and anything could be said and done tbh] James: [imagine how awkward it'd be when they get there because he'd have to send her in first and just be shitting himself in the car like is anyone there or no] Ava: [at least you know full well no one is there 'cos business trips forever so you're just at the door shaking your head and doing the 'come on' gesture] James: [he'd just help her to the sofa like immediately & get her blankets and pillows and painkillers (even though it wouldn't touch a concussion headache) and a phone charger and everything else she could possibly need cos Chloe's got him trained like a dog] Ava: [low-key pulling at him, gently, like boy sit down] James: [when you are then looking at her like what did I forget/ do wrong before you realise] Ava: [squeezing his hand because you can only say thank you so many times, putting the film on but then pausing and gasping so dramatically 'coffee, I promised you coffee' and going to get up like can you be careful please] James: [thinking she's in pain or something because of that gasp so being at her side like 0-1000 and slowing her down cos they can do it together thank you] Ava: [making a face at herself like ffs when she catches on 'I'm not trying to age you' and touching his non-grey hair and wrinkles like totally necessary yep] James: ['but you're offering me coffee, what's next red meat or red wine?' but no actual shade cos we both know he doesn't care and none of that is what's aging him anyway, taking her hand from his face and gently kissing said hand before handholding to lead her to her own kitchen like let's do this] Ava: ['I don't know where my cigarettes are' shrugs and smiles like sorry not sorry, smiles even harder but lowkey stops breathing when, kissing ontop of where he just kissed her hand, then getting to this all-singing all-dancing coffee machine 'you have to pick the most daring option, one you've never, ever tried before, okay?' and waggling her finger like so serious about this] James: [takes his own cigarettes out of his pocket and slides the pack over to her 'okay' and does pick, really concentrating on the decision even though there'd be so much shit he hasn't tried and we all know he could just pick option 1 and be done] Ava: [takes one out and puts it behind her ear for later 'cos no need to light up in your parents home, just watching him 'cos so cute and then nodding like yes, good choice and picks the same, setting up this machine 'cos they're always more confusing and/or time-consuming than they need to be I swear] James: [where's the lie you gotta have the knack I swear, his turn to watch her now though because she's beautiful doing anything ever and he missed her so bad] Ava: [ahh coffee goodtimes forever] James: [he needs it cos he is tired af so thanks Ava you babe] Ava: ['do we talk about what happened, or do we write it off?' when you just saying this casually whilst waiting for your coffees] James: ['I don't know' because he is genuinely torn between wanting to and also not] Ava: ['Wait and see how we feel' 'cos no rush or pressure here 'you better carry these though' 'cos we don't need burns as well ty] James: ['wait here a minute for me' because carries the drinks through and then comes back for her because why not carry her though as well obvs] Ava: [does and loves it 'I've missed you, you know'] James: ['I know now' just giving her 😍 casually 'I've missed you too'] Ava: [😍 right back 'Ask anyone' when you're talking about your mood but you realize that sounds like you been telling the world lol 'I mean, I've been a delight' 🙄] James: [when you shake your head like no it's okay 'I overreacted about your cousin, I'm sorry' takes a deep breath remembering that whole sad ending moment 'And I'm sorry for fucking up the start of your summer' because she loves it and he knows] Ava: ['I understand why, understood, whatever. And I am still sorry, I was just too excited and-' sighs like, you know, squeezing his hand again 'I promise, that's all sorted now though' 'cos clearly told her it's over by now, 'cos thought it was anyway; she nods like thanks but shrugs like it's okay too, don't worry 'Sure even I can't be grumpy in the Seychelles, like'] James: [blatantly almost kissing her because he understands the whole being too highkey thing because he was (*cough* is) too but doesn't because she's going away 'when are you going?'] Ava: [sad face like you didn't just say you aren't gonna be grumpy 'when my parents get back, couple of days'] James: [strokes her face again like he did earlier 'you'll feel better by then' because someone's meant to watch you for 48 hours actually NHS website says] Ava: [😈 me 😇 her looking at him 'how did you even- why- I-' continuously cutting herself off 'cos you know he was checking in on you now and you know he came without hesitating so it doesn't need to be said 'Oh, James'] James: ['Ava' saying her name with SO MUCH feeling that I cannot 'I had to' when you mean so many things by that like you had to go but you have to stay now and you had to make sure she was okay today but also you had to keep checking on her the whole time] Ava: [definitely gonna go in to kiss him can't stop that soz] James: [we all know it was only a matter of time and that this is gonna turn into a not at all casual make out session] Ava: [you honestly deserve it lads] James: [that coffee gonna be cold and they won't even notice] Ava: [the movies are also not being watched lmao but no one cares rn] James: [on pause forever sorry not sorry] James: [but eventually like after AN AGE one of them should lean on the remote or whatever so it starts playing and they're like wtf] Ava: [when you shit yourself like who is here but then loving 'cos hi Edward] James: [we all shitting ourselves and all loling] Ava: ['he's very possessive' no lie] James: [looking at Edward and then kissing her again like when you're trying to make someone jealous] Ava: [when you're loling too hard into his mouth like 'scuse me] James: [kissing her neck instead so she can have her adorable lol] Ava: [reacting to that in a v different way] James: [we back at it again at krispy kreme soz twilight saga] Ava: [i swear to god the ily curse is so real] James: [this always happens to us, don't talk for a bit lads, wink wonk] Ava: [its because we give them such high-pressure situations but yes, you should fully hook up 'cos haven't yet] James: [I wonder if the orgasm headache thing would work for a concussion one or not] Ava: [my boo says #experiment] James: [imma google it but I don't expect an answer] James: [nobody is telling me but if it can help a migraine I don't see why it wouldn't] Ava: [you'll be fine bitch, just a shameless excuse that he needs to hang around longer] James: [we should totally also do the shameless thing when he falls asleep and then wakes up immediately but is like oh no how long was I asleep because not only worried about her we know] Ava: [for sure, just there chilling like 🥰 'not long, but you looked peaceful'] James: ['I was' and more 😍 'I am' just snuggling happily because deserved af] Ava: [kissing the top of his head 'good' then lying down and snuggling harder 'I'm so glad you're here, that you're okay'] James: ['I'm glad that I'm here & that you're okay' kissing her forehead and holding her so tightly because he was so worried that something much worse had happened to her] Ava: ['It was kinda scary how much I missed you- like I said I WAS extra but I think, no, I still am, I can't lie to you'[ James: [when you are just falling so hard for her rn smiling like look at this perfect 😇 'you don't have to miss me any longer, minus however long you're spending in the Seychelles, of course'] Ava: ['Yeah?' trying but failing not to sound so hopeful 'And two weeks, so not as long as it has been, not that I was definitely counting or anything'] James: ['I was afraid, no, I am afraid but very few things have ever scared me as much as when I saw you were in hospital & I thought-'] Ava: [just holding him back even tighter like you could not be closer 'I'm so sorry I scared you, I won't ever do it again, even if I get hit by something more substantial than a 90lbs mum on a lightweight bike' and shaking her head with a lil lol 'cos it is funny even though it can be as bad as a car crash actual sometimes] James: ['You scare me in the best ways, you don't have to stop, I don't want you to' because think of the new things he's already done and the new things he's already felt, it makes me emosh goodbye] Ava: [when that's the hottest thing you've ever heard like 'scuse me round two] James: [you've actually got all night for once so make the most of it lads] Ava: [like literally no one needs it more than him so I'm allowing it, there's enough shit happened, happening and still to come] James: [amen to that] Ava: [happy bubble forever] James: [if only like, he is NOT gonna wanna leave in the morning but maybe we could say that like Jay has a playdate with friends or something cos soz babe you can't keep a secret so he just gets the baby and comes back] Ava: [that would be a moment] James: [just casually meet each other how cute] Ava: [have a normal, happy day like you're meant to oh] James: [you all deserve it truly] Ava: [meet your potential future stepchild babe] James: [do we wanna have them go out or stay in?] Ava: [🤔 obvs really want them to go to Kensington Park 'cos Peter Pan and like obvs I doubt anyone who would be bothered to report to Chloe is gonna be there but it is risky so maybe save it idk] James: [we will bookmark that for the future because MUST but they could take Frank on a walk somewhere cos we ain't referenced that sweet sir even if it's just through the streets like] Ava: [that's a good shout, you better be a good boy lol] James: [and don't cockblock them rn please] James: [they'd look like a little fam, I am FINE] Ava: [and lowkey behave more like one in one day like the bar is so low tah Chlo] James: [the scolding tea] James: how are you feeling? Ava: 😊 So happy Ava: Only a bit tired from the whole staying awake thing and you keeping me awake, like 😏 Ava: oh, and Frank said you've redeemed yourself so well done there too Ava: how're you and the girls? James: I'm happy to hear all of that James: has your dizziness gone? James: we're fine, but tired too Ava: Yeah Ava: barely a headache Ava: and my parents get in early AM so I should be all set to go when they do get here James: how much packing is there left to do? Ava: All of it but deciding which 14 bikinis I wanna take shouldn't take too long James: are you sure? I think it would take me a really long time to decide Ava: I'll put some stories up Ava: You can help me Ava: I reckon I need your clearly more considered opinion James: of course you do James: you wouldn't want to spend the entirety of your holiday wishing you'd chosen differently Ava: so true Ava: especially as I'm not allowed to pack my pout James: everyone is well aware of how important the pursuit of a tan is to you, darling, anything that jeopardises that, well, it's bound to be very pout inducing James: you'll be forgiven Ava: I don't know if my family is as forgiving as you Ava: perhaps they don't like my pout as much Ava: they definitely aren't as supportive in bikini related decision making James: I'll dedicate paragraphs to both James: multiple lengthy ones Ava: It'll seem gratuitous in the movie but nothing is too much for the book James: as long as it remains included in the director's cut James: or else I will be devastated Ava: I'll demand it in my contract Ava: I think it'll be a first in favour of taking your clothes off instead of keeping 'em on James: thank you James: you do deserve a multitude of firsts, honestly Ava: you deserve so much Ava: much more than I'm allowed to give you Ava: that reminds me Ava: as I can't give you anything as a thank you, I've had to get creative James: so much of what I deserve is negative & there is nothing you owe to me in any capacity, thanks included James: but I'd never want to discourage creativity Ava: Shh sh Ava: in the spirit of firsts and trying new things Ava: when you're all less worn out, go to [a sassy but kid-friendly cafe/restaurant that's a bit out there and exotic and definitely nowhere Chloe has ever made you take her] and tell 'em you're eating on me, yeah Ava: then when I get back and you're free, you're coming over and I'm cooking James: Ava Ava: It's already arranged, I go there all the time, it's the 2nd best Brazilian food I've had James: you've been to Brazil for the 1st, haven't you? I can tell Ava: Actually no, mores the pity Ava: but my Uncle is Brazilian and a chef, my cousin too Ava: having a big weird family has unexpected perks Ava: if you like it, I already have a recipe lined up that's meant to be 🔥 but even a novice like me can master it James: you'll have to wait patiently for my review because I regrettably can't send you a picture of my face after the 1st mouthful to serve as one, but okay Ava: I'll do my best Ava: though having any patience when it comes to you doesn't seem to be my strong suit Ava: arguably not a virtue I'm known for, ever, but especially now James: I'll do my best not to miss you so hard that it's physically painful but that doesn't appear to be my strong suit either & as previously agreed, I won't make any promises I'm forced to immediately break Ava: Oh Ava: Knowing it wasn't just me finding out that painful cliche is painfully real is somehow a comfort, to know you'll want to avoid the feeling as much as I do from now on but it also hurts me even more, the idea of you having to feel it at all in the first place Ava: but there is no conflict in just how hard I'm looking forward to seeing you again after this ill-timed holiday James: I don't ever want you to be in pain because of me, I have to insist on only the good cliches going forward James: devastatingly a postcard can't be included in that Ava: Hmm, got any long-lost great aunties I can pretend to be? 🤔😂 James: If I do my wife is bound to be aware of them, their current financial situation & any possible health concerns they are facing Ava: Valid Ava: Don't need to give her any more reason to 💀💀💀 me Ava: At least no holiday is complete without the obligatory narcissistic poolside shoot James: suffice to say I've never had a complete holiday, in that case Ava: I bet you've had to be cameraman plenty though Ava: so rude when you're so nice to look at James: & yet I've never been trusted to pick a filter Ava: 🙄 Ava: does she not know that you're an artiste James: no, it's our secret Ava: 😊 I like that James: I like you Ava: I like that more James: I wish I could see you again before you go Ava: Me too Ava: I kinda wish I weren't going James: how early are your parents getting back exactly? Ava: like 4am kinda early James: I won't make you stay awake again James: I know how tired you must be Ava: 🥺 James: I'm so relieved that I can't see that look on your actual face Ava: It's 💔 Ava: but I'll survive Ava: about James: you're a very strong person Ava: You James: I'm not Ava: You are though Ava: you put up with so much shit James: is that strength or is it weakness? Ava: I think it's strength Ava: You can't necessarily stop shit happening or get shit out of your life Ava: no matter how strong Ava: and you manage to do all the shit you have to regardless James: I'd like to think you're right Ava: Then you should Ava: I encourage it Ava: 🤓 me James: you are undeniably clever Ava: Try to be Ava: when I'm not standing in the middle of cycle paths, obviously James: I heard you say that bike came out of nowhere Ava: Yeah Ava: I miss you already Ava: Frank is not as good a nurse, like at all James: if you can fall asleep now, I'd feel less guilty about the prospect of asking you not to later James: should I hypothetically be able to get away Ava: 🛌🏃 Ava: Promise James: I can't give you a promise back Ava: I know Ava: but this way, I either stay asleep and that's that Ava: or I get the best surprise to wake me up James: what did I do to deserve you? Ava: This is the part where I say something very bad but Ava: you don't seem capable Ava: you're just James: whatever it was, I need to know so I can keep doing it Ava: just be you Ava: another cliche you've proven to be true and real James: this fortnight without you is going to be really cliche James: there's no chance of it existing beyond the 1st draft Ava: not even for my eyes only? James: well James: maybe Ava: Please please please James: okay James: you are my fairest critic & you do have beautiful eyes Ava: Yours are better Ava: but I won't be too jealous if I get to look at them more James: I definitely can't promise not to be envious of everyone in the Seychelles who will get to look at you more than I can Ava: Do you ever get a decent lunchbreak? Ava: we could facetime James: I'll figure something out James: because my dad takes the longest lunch breaks, you'd be forgiven for thinking it's the 80s Ava: 😏 we love a throwback 🙄 James: I'll take Matty to work with me, she'll distract whoever I need her to Ava: She is very cute Ava: I see it James: I won't be saying anything the like of that if she won't sleep tonight though Ava: 🤞 for you and her Ava: shame she's not yet at the walking stage Ava: Frank is so 💤 James: I can't keep her in any kind of routine, it's frustrating for both of us Ava: That's hard James: it's harder for her than it is for me, she never knows what's happening Ava: She'll get there Ava: I was the worst baby Ava: hopefully before you totally lose your mind, 'course James: I find it impossible to believe you weren't 😇 Ava: I was pretty premmie so my poor parents were confined to perpetual bright light for ages when I got home James: both the girls were so late James: that was an entirely different struggle Ava: I can imagine how delightful Ava: usually excusable but when you set the bar low to begin with 😬 James: the last thing I want to do is badmouth her to you, but as we know, sometimes things write themselves Ava: I feel you Ava: not a cliche I particularly wanna be either James: of course not Ava: but you can vent, you know Ava: I don't even have to reply, just if you need to put it somewhere James: no, I can't Ava: okay, just a suggestion James: so much of this is already not fair to you, Ava Ava: I don't think it is Ava: you've never lied about any of it, you're always realistic about what you can and can't give me Ava: and I'd like to help, in any tiny way I'm able James: you don't know what she's like & I'd rather you didn't have to know James: let's keep it at you don't do sympathy Ava: I know very little but that's not positive so it doesn't take your author level of imagination if I wanna go there without your guidance Ava: and it isn't sympathy but okay Ava: I won't mention her and you don't have to either James: I just can't have you seeing me differently because Ava: I'd never see you differently because of what she's like as a person James: it's too big of a risk for me to take, that you'll end up thinking less of me than you do now Ava: You can trust me Ava: but you don't have to Ava: I won't push anything, I don't need to Ava: as much as I want to take things fast in so many respects, I'm never going to take it where you don't want it James: it isn't you I don't trust James: I'm not a reliable narrator, she's made sure I'm not Ava: However...intertwined and diluted you feel your story got, because of her, because of whatever Ava: it's always gonna be your story to tell, if you want it Ava: and I'll always listen to how you tell it James: Ava Ava: James James: if it was a story I was in control of I'd come to the airport & tell you not to go James: cliche or not Ava: and I'd stay Ava: but that's far too much like a happy ending and we've only just begun James: you're right again Ava: don't sound so surprised 😉 James: I was actually trying to decide where it falls on the scale of ideas & habits, good, bad or somewhere in between James: that you always seem to be Ava: Have you drawn a conclusion yet? James: I couldn't possibly tell you James: you're supposed to be asleep Ava: damn Ava: you'll tell me in the morning? James: yes Ava: Okay, I'll go, as long as you know it is so reluctantly it's practically under protest James: & I won't stay here hoping you don't, as long as you know it's under identical conditions Ava: Noted Ava: Goodnight and sweet dreams for whenever that happens for you then, love James: thank you
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Rio & Buster
Rio: Who's in your bit rn Buster: Diego and Gus Rio: Oh good Rio: well too fast for Tommy Buster: He's got that fucked knee, like Rio: That's a poltie way to say he just got outwitted by a couple of toddlers Buster: Yeah Rio: You want me to come take 'em away or is there someone else in there with Buster: Just me, that was the appeal initially Rio: Lucky you Rio: I've gained a shadow, like Buster: Can't really tell a 6 year old to fuck off Buster: Shame Rio: Yeah Rio: you remember how to sign it if you need to? Buster: 'Course Rio: 👍 Buster: 🍀 Rio: Please Rio: got quite enough pride assaulting me without you starting Buster: Fine Buster: Since you remembered your manners about it Rio: I don't remember you being this concerned with manners, ever Buster: That's how you know I'm taking the piss even when you can't actually keep up Rio: If I hadn't kept up, I wouldn't feel this shit today, like Buster: It don't mean you did Buster: Half of what I had would knock you over Rio: and you don't know the half of what I had Rio: only brought me a few, don't get carried away Buster: I'm not asking for a list, like Rio: You won't be getting one Rio: don't fancy boking to top it off Buster: There weren't any brandy on it, I already checked Buster: You'll be grand Rio: Tah for the concern 😏 Buster: You're so welcome Rio: Okay, take the piss all you like but its weird when you're polite Buster: Fuck you then Rio: More like it Buster: I do aim to please Buster: Everybody knows that Rio: A long way from Chelsea, boyo Buster: No shit Rio: Be home for you in no time Rio: no O'somethings in sight Buster: Counting the seconds, like Rio: Do it quietly Buster: Diego and Gus ain't concerned Rio: not much does them Rio: 'cept being forced to particiate in family shit Rio: got a lot in common Buster: Yeah Rio: monosyllabic is alright but if you go full catatonic, I'll have to tell someone Rio: you know the rules Buster: I know they're meant to be broken Buster: So don't worry about it Rio: Sure Rio: that rule goes without saying Buster: They're on the move Buster: Do you want me to follow 'em? Rio: Can you Rio: I'll head up now but just so they don't get lost lost Buster: Sure Rio: 👍 Rio: [hunt 'em down girl] Buster: [Buster just awkwardly lurking so they don't die] Rio: [just nodding a little like thanks then and 'leave you to it again' before chasing 'em off] Buster: [forever watching her go like it's nothing] Rio: [rip] Buster: [at least most of the fam are having a nice time, god bless] Rio: [if that ain't being a teenager tbh, even if you weren't secretly in love with your cousin, like] Buster: [one is relatable if not the other lol] Rio: [let time pass] Rio: you want a coffee from the cafe? Buster: Less want, more need Rio: Exactly Rio: it'll be shit but I don't have any coke on me either Buster: You're a continual source of disappointment to me, Cavante Rio: Not the magic word Buster: Should be Buster: It's more motivational Rio: Don't change career plan Rio: put it that way Buster: I don't intend to Rio: and I don't need motivating Buster: Just shit coffee, alright Rio: Currently Rio: don't imagine you'll be coming up with any better plans any time soon Buster: I easily could but I can't imagine including you in 'em regardless Rio: Yeah yeah Rio: shut up and don't be a dick whilst I wait for these drinks at least Buster: [pops up like oh hey because that dick 'I'll wait, you sit'] Rio: [shooketh but does best not to show it, goes and sits like] Buster: [doing that whole waiting and paying thing] Rio: [sneak peeks honey Buster: [blatantly has also bought her a 🍪 or something cos nerd so bringing that over] Rio: [when you're confusion but not gonna turn down a free cookie #same and drinking that coffee like you need it to live 'cos you do] Buster: [Likewise drinking that coffee as fast as he can without burning his tongue lol] Rio: [just having a silent coffee break] Buster: [so awkward] Rio: [at least you aren't running away lads] Buster: [proud of you] Rio: [look like better? when they're done] Buster: [clearing the shit away so he don't have to answer because not really lbr] Rio: [can have Grace come find her #obsessed so they don't have to do this rn] Buster: [hey girl hey when he'd literally run off cos she's that annoying haha] Rio: Oh cheers Buster: Don't mention it Rio: can't you come entertain her Rio: you're clearly good with kids Buster: It ain't me she wants Rio: 🙄 I'm tired Buster: I'll go score us some lines then, yeah? Rio: Yeah, obvs Buster: I am gonna get out of here though Buster: So if anyone asks you ain't seen me in ages Rio: Why am I covering for you Buster: 'Cause you're not a snitch Rio: Sure about that one now Buster: Always been sure about it Rio: Off you go then Buster: Cheers for the permission Rio: You don't have it but I'm sure that's part of the appeal Buster: I don't need yours and I don't want theirs Rio: Exactly Buster: It's your own fault you're too popular to come with Rio: I don't imagine I was invited Rio: and how is it anyway Buster: Best big sister ever is likely to be missed in a second, like Rio: not a choice Buster: Yeah it is Rio: not for me Buster: More fool you Buster: Enjoy being tired and bored Rio: Thanks Rio: for not getting it Buster: I get it, I just choose not to pander to it Buster: The way you've made yours ain't my problem Rio: Its beyond apparent that you don't but that's not anyone's but yours today Buster: Whatever you say, babe Rio: What you said, yeah Buster: Nah but feel free to put words in my mouth if it ends this convo quicker Rio: Talking about you and your sister, actually Rio: not exactly aspirational Buster: Good Buster: Even you can aim higher than she is Rio: She's not the one fucking up Buster: That's debatable Rio: And you have nothing like a majority Buster: Woe's me Rio: Seriously Buster: How will I ever win now? Oh yeah that's right, easily Rio: Only by your own definition Rio: we can all do that, McKenna Buster: Why are you such a loser then? Rio: Because your definition means fuck all to me Buster: And yours means even less than that to me Buster: Save your breath for running around after the kids Rio: 💔 Buster: I know Buster: At least you wear it well though Rio: Thought you would have matured a bit by now Rio: how awkward Buster: Do yourself a favour and don't think about me so much Rio: I'm not pretending I've got somewhere else to be Buster: Me either Rio: uhuh Buster: I've left the shit museum, I don't have to have a destination in mind beyond that Buster: But since you're so interested I'll probably go to the gym Rio: You know they won't let you use the weight machines Rio: you're too little Buster: Hilarious Buster: Last night I was tall Rio: They got age limits Rio: don't want any weird body builder kids Buster: I didn't ask you to worry about how I'm spending the rest of my day Rio: Who's worrying but you Buster: You're going on about it more than my parents ever have about anything so obviously you Rio: so your parents are shit Rio: got it, it was kinda obvious without you banging on about it Buster: It's the first time I've mentioned them so what's actually obvious is that I'm not banging on about anything Rio: Don't cry Buster: You already did that so there's not really much point Buster: I'd just look like a copycat Rio: Yeah, and you're NEVER that 😂 Buster: Not of anything you do, no Rio: just all your really cool friends Buster: They follow my lead Rio: of course Buster: I'll let you know if Diego and Gus are successful in making their own escape and I see 'em on the street Buster: No need to pretend you wanna chat to me beyond that Rio: Not me that can't hold a conversation Rio: but thanks Buster: I never said you can't, I said you don't want to Rio: Same difference, clearly Buster: There's loads of difference Rio: I don't doubt you're able to string together more than two words at a time but if you ain't with me, why would I care Buster: I can be as coherent as you like, the fact remains you don't like it Rio: You haven't said anything worth listening to for years, Buster Buster: And you know why Buster: Until you wanna acknowledge that, Rio, there'll continue to be fuck all to say and even less to listen to Rio: Don't speak to me like that Rio: where the fuck have you been, when have you ever tried to acknowledge it Rio: don't put it all on me when you're just as complicit, good or bad Buster: Don't speak to me at all Buster: You know where I went Buster: Where the fuck are you? Rio: Do I Buster: It's no secret, it's never been Buster: I'm still there, any time you feel like looking me up Rio: You ain't Rio: and maybe I ain't either Buster: It ain't that simple, like it or not Buster: I'm still the same person Rio: I don't see it Rio: we aren't Buster: You see what you wanna see Buster: Just like every fucker else Rio: Who wants this Rio: why would I Rio: its fucking Buster: You made choices that got you here Buster: If you don't wanna be, make different ones Rio: I didn't just make a choice Rio: it was mutual Rio: and it ain't that simple, like it or not Buster: I'm where I need to be, it's that simple for me Rio: You're where your parents put you Rio: you've got no ownership over that Buster: I didn't mean geographically Rio: Neither did I Buster: Then you're wrong, I do have ownership over it Buster: I've done what I've done 'cause I have to do it, end of Buster: I can't be in any other place with you Rio: You could Rio: but you've made your choice Rio: I just hope it is 'yours' Buster: I don't do things for anyone else Buster: That's you Rio: Alright Rio: here's me pretending to believe that Buster: Fuck off Buster: I'm a selfish cunt there's no pretending otherwise Rio: 👍 Rio: not saying you're not giving it your best shot Buster: Nah, you're too busy acting like I backed you into a corner you don't wanna be in Rio: How would you know Rio: did we ever talk about it Rio: no Rio: have you asked since Rio: also no Buster: I know 'cause I used to know you and I still know what matters to you Buster: So we don't need to talk about it Buster: And I'm not gonna ask Rio: Fine Buster: Yeah Rio: Like I said, you have no fucking idea Buster: And what, you really don't think that's for the best? Rio: It's what it is Buster: No, come on, you want me to know you like that Buster: You wanna give any power to me Rio: It ain't about want Rio: pretend all you like Buster: What is it about then? Rio: Don't do yourself down Rio: you know Buster: You're lamenting that chat we never had, you tell me Rio: Forget it Rio: if you aren't gonna at least do me the favour of keeping up Buster: I told you, I'm not a charity Buster: Say it Rio: Neither am I Buster: As far as your boyfriend is concerned, probably reconsider the stance Buster: You could do loads better otherwise Rio: There's nothing wrong with my boyfriend Buster: If that were true he'd get a girl his own age Rio: Well he's always liked me Rio: and I'm better than any girl his age Buster: Oh please Rio: I am Rio: but I don't need you to think so, he already does Buster: I already said you can do better than that cunt, I don't need you to feed me a rehearsed line Rio: I like him Rio: you don't even know him Buster: Thank fuck I don't Buster: He's obviously a nonce Rio: Shut up Rio: you're so childish Buster: Don't let him round your sisters Buster: You'll be too old for him soon Rio: Stop Rio: you aren't funny Buster: It isn't funny Buster: But I'll get my mum to have a word with you before we go, she's got more experience than me Rio: Yeah, make it something it ain't Rio: she's not pissed off with you enough, like Rio: use her trauma for whatever point you think you have Buster: I don't give a shit how angry she is at me Buster: You either Buster: I'm right and he's fucking wrong Rio: Well it ain't your decision is it so Buster: As long as it's yours Rio: Ha ha Buster: Don't Buster: You ain't this stupid Rio: I'm not stupid at all Buster: So stop acting like it Rio: I'm not Rio: he's actually nice Buster: All's forgiven then Buster: Fuck's sake, Rio Rio: What Rio: you either want me to move on or you don't Rio: you can't have it both ways Buster: Any cunt can be nice Rio: Yeah well loads aren't Buster: That don't mean you should settle for the first one who is Buster: If I can have it any way, I'll have it that you do better Rio: Alright, thanks for the input Buster: Come on Rio: You Rio: why do you think you get a say when I just have to watch you making loads of mistakes yourself Buster: You know why Rio: You're in or you're out Rio: and we know which way it is when it comes down to it Buster: End it with him Rio: You're not being fair Rio: you don't talk to me Rio: you won't Buster: I can't be fairer, break up with him and I won't fucking kill him Rio: For God's sake Buster: Bring him into it as well if you want Buster: I don't care Rio: I'm not going to dump someone 'cos you tell me to Rio: if I do it'll be because I want to Buster: As long as you do it, the reason doesn't matter to me Rio: I'm not doing anything right now Buster: I'm not asking you to, you've got til I leave Buster: I can't kill him if I ain't here Rio: He's not done anything, like Buster: I've only got your word for that and it's for shit when you talk about him so Rio: Why is it Buster: Read back all the bullshit you said and ask me that again if you still feel like it's a fair question Rio: It isn't bullshit Rio: he is nice, we argue sometimes or he annoys me but that's normal Rio: I'm not an idiot Buster: Like I said, if you're not, stop acting like one Buster: You can't tell me that him being older ain't weird Rio: You just don't wanna hear it 'cos you've made your mind up Rio: and it's not, it's good, he has a moped and a job so we can actually do things Buster: I don't wanna hear about the things you do, cheers Rio: Don't be gross Buster: Do you love him? Rio: That's way too serious Rio: It's not been that long or Rio: no Buster: Okay Rio: You know how it is Buster: Do I? Rio: 'Course Rio: don't need to be on your socials to know Buster: You can just admit you are, I reckon we're slightly past the feigned indifference Rio: Alright Rio: I'm allowed to Buster: You've always been allowed to do whatever the fuck you want Rio: Backatcha Buster: Just forget it, I'm calmer now Buster: Your boyfriend can live to nonce another day Rio: Really Buster: What? Rio: It's fine, just exactly what I said Buster: Alright Rio: Actually, no it ain't Buster: Yeah well Rio: Don't yeah well me Buster: Don't tell me how to speak Rio: You've really just dropped that to drop it Rio: why Buster: What are you talking about? Rio: Fuck that Rio: don't try to gaslight me too Buster: Calm down Buster: Jesus Christ Rio: No, just 'cos you have doesn't mean I am too Rio: you've just thrown all your bullshit at me and then bounced Buster: That ain't even close to all my bullshit, first of all Buster: Second of all, I told you I was calmer not calm, and you ain't helping Rio: You know what I mean still Rio: and if you don't care why should I Buster: And if I do care, is that actually gonna change anything Buster: 'Course not Rio: It isn't me saying that Buster: So what are you saying? Rio: If you cared, of course it matters Buster: I didn't say it wouldn't Buster: I told you it wouldn't change anything and it won't Rio: Who says Rio: beside you, obviously Buster: Come on Buster: Every reason we had to do what we did and not do other shit are still there Rio: There's no reason it has to be this shit Buster: I'm the reason Buster: I ain't gonna be nice to you, keep hold of your boyfriend for that Rio: You wanna be Rio: I know you're capable Buster: Don't tell me what I want Buster: Or what I'm capable of Rio: Try and tell me either is wrong Buster: I told you years ago, I don't wanna say something I can't take back Rio: Yet you do it all the time Rio: as long as it's something nasty and vile, then that's alright Buster: If it keeps you at arm's length or further then yeah, it is Rio: Alright me Rio: but you do it to everyone Rio: your parents, Nance Buster: They get what they deserve Buster: You think they're all sweetness and light to me? Rio: Of course I don't Rio: you're gonna end up alone though Rio: it needs to be sorted, all of it Buster: How I end up ain't your problem, least of all 'cause there won't be one Rio: Yes it is Rio: I'm not the one pretending I don't give a shit about anyone else in this family Buster: Well you don't have to give a shit about me, like you said, I'm barely in it Rio: You act like you aren't Rio: still are regardless Buster: I won't be as soon as my mum and dad can no longer force me Buster: Hold it together for like another year or two at most and then you don't need to see me Rio: Cool, you wanna be like Joe then Buster: I can do without the intravenous drugs, like Rio: That's not why no one ever talks about him Rio: you ain't stupid Buster: Don't talk to me as though I am then Buster: I know everything you know about Joe Rio: so why do you wanna join that club of 2 Rio: pretend you don't have a family Buster: I keep telling you, I don't follow no cunt Rio: you do keep saying that Buster: This family pretends a lot worse, start your crusade there if you're on one Rio: I try Rio: more fool me, right Buster: Yeah Buster: Cheers for saying it so I don't have to Rio: Fuck this Rio: your absence has been noted, btw Rio: stay wherever the fuck you are out of sight, like Buster: Whatever Buster: In no rush to go home regardless of your warning Rio: You're welcome Buster: I feel it, babe Rio: You know who to blame Buster: I'm not blaming anyone Buster: I'll own it Buster: Even if you don't thank me for leaving you alone Rio: Bullshit Rio: you take out how crap you feel on everyone Rio: so don't fucking own it Rio: blame yourself, actually Rio: or sort yourself out Buster: Cheers but I don't need motivating any more than you did earlier Rio: Such a waste, you Rio: I'm not giving it out to you Buster: Good, don't Buster: 'Cause what's bullshit is you thinking you have any idea what I feel like Rio: Yeah Rio: 'cos happy people act like you, Buster Buster: Most people don't feel the need to put an act on at all, babe Rio: did I say I was happy Rio: no Rio: but you're a miserable prick and it don't take fuck all to see it Buster: Did I ever say I wasn't? Rio: You said I had no idea how you feel Buster: You don't Buster: That don't mean I was putting myself at the happy end of the scale Rio: No shit Buster: What the fuck do you want from me, Rio? Buster: This ain't confession Rio: Can't you just be fucking happy Rio: is that so much to ask Buster: Yeah Buster: Especially when you're the one asking Rio: Well then Buster: Do it for me Buster: You be happy Rio: This isn't about me Buster: For me it is Buster: So much of this shit is about you Rio: Oh thanks Rio: I'm not trying to make you miserable Buster: I didn't mean it like that Buster: I don't want you to be miserable either, that's all Rio: Yeah Rio: I know Buster: You know you would be, yeah? Buster: This way it's not as bad as it could be Buster: And I'm not as bad for you as I could be Buster: End of Rio: Its just Rio: sometimes its hard to believe it could be much worse Buster: I know Buster: How's Edie? Rio: I think she's having a good day Rio: beyond that Rio: you know Buster: Yeah Rio: think she's enjoying them not being here Rio: god knows how it'll be when they're back Buster: Let me know Buster: Not that there's fuck all I can do from Chelsea or anywhere else Buster: But still Rio: There's fuck all I can do from the same house, like Rio: so don't worry Buster: 'Course I won't Buster: I only worry about myself, clearly Rio: 'Course Buster: I can't offer you a good day but if you want a good night Buster: It won't be that hard to find me Rio: ? Buster: What's your question? Rio: I have a few Buster: Fine, what are your questions? Rio: How, where and why are you breaking the rules after laying them down again Buster: Well how is easy, I'll send a cab for you Buster: But I can't predict the future, that was your game, so the where will have to wait Buster: You already know the why Rio: Alright Rio: even though the how was more how are you gonna give me a good night Rio: that's a prediction too, yeah? Buster: Come on, you only wish you didn't know who the fuck I am Rio: Wouldn't waste a wish Buster: Bring your boyfriend if you want, it'll make it even easier for me to beat the shit out of him Rio: Obviously not Buster: I'll allow it 'cause of my feelings about sharing Buster: But it ain't very nice of you Rio: If I wanted to see that, I'd come to one of your matches Buster: The invitation has been extended and been standing for years, babe Buster: It ain't my fault you never wanna cheer for me for some reason Rio: I wonder Buster: Get yourself another coffee, I'll make sure you need it Rio: 😏 Rio: Any excuse to lose the trail of kids behind me for a second Buster: I would come and distract 'em but I'm one of the notorious Irish myself now so Rio: The quickest way to get yourself recognized in here Rio: given the names already in, like Buster: This could be my last night of freedom as things already stand with how many missed calls and angry texts I've got Buster: You're gonna make it count with me, yeah? Rio: 'Course I am Rio: you know me Buster: Good Rio: arguably your lack of freedom will just be more shit like today though, you do realize Rio: so, not really any more punishment than you was getting so you may as well go all in now Buster: I'm going all in anyway Buster: For you Rio: Good Buster: It will be, I've just had the best idea Rio: but I've got to wait and see? Buster: Do you want the surprise or do you wanna help? Rio: You know how helpful I am Rio: shameless Buster: Put together a guestlist of the least cunty people you know then Buster: I have the ideal party venue Buster: And I'm gathering supplies as we speak Buster: If there's any left over wedding booze, take it Buster: I'll say it was me Rio: Alright Rio: I'm in Rio: I won't get caught, or in trouble Rio: but I don't mind taking my share if it did happen Buster: I know but I ain't letting you Buster: Tonight's about making things less shit for you not more Rio: What about you? Buster: What about me Buster: I didn't call a truce for you to question it that hard Rio: Okay, okay Rio: no more questions, deal? Buster: You not gonna ask me where it is? Buster: You'll have to tell your friends, like Rio: Go on then Buster: [sends her the deets cos my idea is that it's a house baze have bought to do up but not done yet hence it'd already lowkey be trashed] Rio: Not even gonna question how much shit you may or may not get in for this Rio: more the merrier? Buster: I said all in 'cause I meant all in Rio: I'm remembering Buster: For tonight you can trust me Rio: Cinderella rules Buster: But if you piss off at midnight I will take the piss out of you Buster: 🤴 or not Rio: Fair Rio: Not that bitch Rio: won't be wearing glass shoes either Buster: I ain't carrying your shoes about whatever they're made of 'cause I'm nobody's bitch Buster: Would be a good weapon though Rio: I don't take my shoes off mid-party either, 'scuse you Rio: gotta commit to the look and deal with the consequences, like Buster: Does it hurt though? Buster: Like actually or are some girls just dramatic Rio: Nah it does Rio: but if you don't do it now you'll be in your 20s still hobbling 'round Rio: gotta toughen up Buster: Good to know Rio: Its your skin being pinched 'til it rubs off, not fun but you know Rio: when you're as short as I am, what's the alternative Buster: Get your boyfriend to carry you Buster: If he wasn't such a pussy Rio: Around a party, all night Rio: okay Rio: not actually a princess Rio: and you need at least four footmen for that, so Buster: I could easily do it Rio: So could he Rio: but you'd both want a drink at some point 😂 Buster: He couldn't carry a dozen eggs, first of all Buster: Second of all, if you can't aim a drink into a lad's mouth while they are carrying you about, what the fuck are you playing at Rio: 😏 Rio: You're ridiculous Buster: If this girl I invited shows her face, I'll show you Rio: You might wanna ask her if she'd like to be carried around first, like Buster: She'll love it Rio: Who doesn't Buster: Exactly Rio: 🙄 Buster: Shut up Rio: I didn't say anything Buster: You don't have to Buster: I received the emoji, like Rio: What would you prefer Rio: Emoji-wise Buster: Do you really want me to answer that, babe? Rio: You can Buster: I know I can, I asked if you wanted me to Rio: Sure Rio: I'm nosy as fuck Buster: You're distracting as fuck Rio: Its been said Buster: Yeah, I just said it Rio: I think you've said it before Rio: as well Buster: It's been true before Rio: Yeah Rio: Who is this girl then Buster: I ain't telling you Buster: You could know her Rio: Well I'll see if she comes, won't I Buster: You can't warn her off when she's already through the door though Buster: She'll see me and not give a fuck about anything else Rio: Why would I do that Buster: If you know her, why wouldn't you? Buster: It's no secret you think I'm a cunt Rio: Anyone I know and like would know that Buster: Whatever Buster: It don't sound like she's coming anyway Rio: Sorry Rio: if its any consolation my boyfriend won't be there 'cos you want him to be Buster: I only want him dead, don't get it twisted Rio: I wasn't implying it was 💕 Buster: I'm not gay 'cause my twin is Buster: Sorry for his loss Rio: I'm sure he's devastated Buster: Undeniably Rio: 😏 Buster: So will she be when she hears how good our party was Rio: Duh Buster: What time do you want your cab? Rio: Earlier side Rio: just in case nan or granddad ask where I'm going Buster: Alright Buster: I'm already there sorting shit so easily done Rio: I can help Rio: I've got the leftovers Buster: Get ready and tell me when you are Rio: 👌 Buster: Not that it matters 'cause I'm stuck wearing this Rio: Don't you think you ALWAYS look good? Buster: Fuck off Buster: I obviously do but I could also obviously do better Rio: You look fine, calm down Buster: Get the word fine out of your mouth in relation to how I look Rio: 😶 Buster: So fucking rude Rio: You don't need me to tell you anything, come on Buster: Shut up then Buster: You're meant to be getting ready Rio: I can multitask Rio: and you're meant to be in truce mode Buster: A truce doesn't turn me into a pussy Rio: That isn't the same thing Rio: you can not tell me to shut up and still not be a pussy, like Buster: You can not tell me I look fine and still not like me Rio: Are you really that offended Rio: I meant it in a good way Buster: Yes Buster: I'd never tell you that you look fine Buster: Fuck fine Rio: Alright Rio: I take it back Buster: Don't bother Rio: Ugh Rio: why not Buster: 'Cause it ain't genuine in the slightest Rio: How do you know Rio: take me at my word Buster: Use better ones and I will Rio: I just tried and you cockblocked me Buster: Try harder Rio: Do you want your ego stroked or not Rio: why make me work for it Buster: There's fuck all you don't have to work for Buster: That ain't a rule I've made Rio: You're being dumb Rio: if I was asking for a compliment, sure Buster: You're being annoying Rio: Well I don't know why we're still talking about this honestly Buster: Like I said, shut up then Rio: You too Buster: Consider it done Rio: I am ready though Buster: Alright Buster: Where do you want picking up from? Rio: I'm gonna walk down to the phonebox from my house Rio: send it there Buster: Okay Rio: How many missed calls are you on? Buster: 37 Rio: Oof Rio: that's rough Buster: It's standard Buster: That trauma we both mentioned, it makes her highkey about shit like this Rio: Nah I get it Rio: have you told her you're safe or anything, like Buster: She knows I'm alive, like Buster: Not that cruel Rio: Good Rio: don't know how in I could go if I was worrying about that, like Buster: Don't worry, when you're got a dead kid the other two automatically step it up in making sure you know they ain't Rio: Makes sense Buster: Can't break all the rules in one day, it'd make tomorrow really fucking boring Rio: Again, no need or reason to argue with that Rio: although I can't promise you a good day either, obviously Buster: You could but I won't hold you to it Buster: Truce'll be over when the party is Rio: Tah for the faith though Rio: forget you said it in the AM too Buster: Forget whatever you like Rio: Is that permission? Buster: Do you need it? Rio: Just taking the piss Rio: always seems to amuse you Buster: Sure it'll amuse the cabbie too Rio: No doubt Rio: I'm a delight Buster: I don't have that much faith in you, babe Rio: Fuck off, like Buster: Definitely don't have enough faith to leave you here on your own if I did Rio: 😑 Bollocks Buster: Nah Rio: I'm a much better host than you Buster: That's the issue Buster: Too welcoming if anything Buster: If only I could trust you as far as I could carry you Rio: Don't be such a dick Rio: you don't know me like that Buster: I know you're too nice Buster: It's not much of a read though, you can calm down Rio: I know what you're saying Buster: Good, I won't need to repeat or rephrase Rio: Me either Rio: fuck off Buster: Fine, see you soon, Cavante Rio: Mhmm Buster: Don't start on the leftovers without me Rio: There's enough to go 'round or I wouldn't bother bringing it Buster: Still Rio: Don't be telling me what to do on top of everything Buster: Come on Buster: I'm asking Rio: and it's bold of you to reckon you can Rio: but don't worry, its in the boot Buster: Fortune favours that shit Rio: Lucky you Buster: Yeah Buster: 🍀🤴 Rio: When it suits Buster: Did you learn nothing at that museum? It's such an advantage how could it not always suit Rio: Not really Buster: Shame on you and obviously a shame in general Rio: 💔 Rio: can tell on me if you like Rio: earn back some brownie points Buster: Not til tomorrow Buster: I probably won't remember by then Rio: so you're a snitch now too Rio: Shame on you and obviously a shame in general Buster: Fuck off Buster: No Rio: Convincing, McKenna Buster: If I need to convince you of that, you can turn the cab around and find something else to do Rio: I've invited everyone now Buster: Don't mean I have to let you in Rio: like to see you try and stop me Rio: don't be a pussy Buster: I know you would but the door'll stop you easy enough Rio: Gonna lock your guests in Rio: very welcoming Rio: they're mostly my mates, in what world am I not getting in Rio: avoid me and I'll avoid you Buster: In what world could I not pick you up and throw you out Rio: Don't fucking touch me Buster: How are you gonna stop me? Rio: Do it and find out Buster: Behave and I won't have to embarrass you in front of your friends Rio: Who do you think you are Buster: Who do you think I am? Rio: I don't care to think about you Buster: Don't underestimate me and you won't have to Buster: I'm trying to give you a good night and you're trying to ruin it Rio: I am not Rio: if you can't say anything at least not entirely unpleasant to me, then don't feel the need to talk to me at all Buster: Likewise Rio: You started it Rio: I was defending myself Buster: Bullshit Buster: Leave your attitude at the other side of the door Rio: No it isn't Rio: you called me a slag and you've got no right or reason so just leave me alone and we'll have no issue Buster: If I had I'd have said it outright Rio: Bullshit Rio: I know what too nice means when you say it like that Rio: because just being nice, isn't an issue at all Buster: It means you're a pushover Rio: Well I ain't that either Rio: so you can still get fucked Buster: For someone who apparently don't care what I think you're really taking my words to heart Rio: I don't let anyone talk to me like that, period Buster: I don't need you permission to speak, end of Rio: Then don't speak to me or about me Rio: you don't have that permission Buster: Avoid me, like you said Buster: There's fuck all else we need to say to each other Rio: I intend to Buster: Good Rio: That, we can agree on Buster: Yeah Rio: [Time] Rio: Are you sure you've given me the right address? Buster: Not a fucking amateur Rio: What is this place Rio: it looks like a decent housing estate Buster: Fingers crossed 'cause my parents have bought it to sell Rio: Ah Rio: that makes sense Buster: Why the fuck did you think I had keys to the house? Rio: I thought it was just an empty Rio: but its too nice around here to be that easy to get in Buster: Like I'm gonna throw a party at a crime scene Rio: Why would it be a crime scene Rio: happens all the time 'round here Buster: Breaking in and trespassing are both crimes for a start Rio: 🙄 Rio: Not if the window was broken 'fore you got there Buster: I'd still be trespassing Rio: Not when its council, think on Buster: It's not Rio: I know Rio: that's why I asked Buster: Whatever just come in Rio: Hold on, this suitcase is heavy Buster: [comes to carry it cos of course he does] Rio: [tries to stop him on principle like no no] Buster: [clearly ignores her and takes it in] Rio: [just 😒 but still coming in, obvs] Buster: [has a look through and takes a bottle out he fancies because start as you mean to go on] Rio: [just looking 'round the gaff like don't mind me] Buster: [letting her cos then he can sneak looks at her cos let's assume she looks 🔥] Rio: [always does but has clearly gone all out with the 'fit 'cos the mood] Buster: [he would've too if he could've, god bless these extra kids] Rio: [couldn't really bring you anything soz boy] Buster: [I'm sure he still looks good cos likewise always does] Rio: [nods like 'not bad' also like quite soon she moves in with Indie and Drew I think so rip] Buster: [when you're trying to check her face cos those injuries but not make it obvious cos you ain't drunk yet] Rio: [we'll pretend not to notice] Buster: [just fucking off upstairs to do something party prep related cos he's looked at her too long] Rio: [should we let people show soon or make them suffer the awks] Buster: [I say let them suffer cos peeps don't usually show til later haha] Rio: [that's what I was thinking] Buster: [great evil minds] Rio: [just be in the kitchen getting shiz out] Buster: You need any help? Rio: Thanks, I was just gonna look in the garage and shed, see if there's any chairs or shit left Rio: can make sure I don't get murdered and help me carry if there is Buster: There's fuck all in the shed unless you wanna sit on a bike all night Buster: But yeah let's check the garage Rio: As likely as me being carried about, I reckon Rio: sounds good Buster: [Appears like oh hey] Rio: [just like come on then] Buster: [have fun in the creepy garage lads] Rio: ['whoever lived here last had loads of shit' it should be packed 'cos garges always are] Buster: [just looking through it for shit that's actually useful cos probably so much that isn't lol] Rio: [try not to trip in your heels babe] Buster: [he would catch you though] Rio: ['can use some of these boxes as tables, at least'] Buster: [takes them through before she can and is straight back] Rio: ['you thought of a career in removals, like?'] Buster: [gives her a look like fuck off cos so offended that's so beneath him] Rio: [🙄 and goes back to rummaging] Buster: [does find some chairs cos why not and is trying to wipe the dust off them without getting covered] Rio: [takes a stack when he's done] Buster: [also grabs a folding up little table cos again why not if they've left loads of shit] Rio: [just looking around like what else do we need to 'cos otherwise what are you gonna do lads] Buster: [looking at like an old tool bench or whatever cos they could put stuff on that but it'll probably be heavy so looking at her like do you want this or no before I make the attempt] Rio: [shakes head like no 'if we need it, you can always get some of the lads to help you later, I'm not getting oil and crap all over me, like'] Buster: [when that gets you thinking about who she's invited so you ain't happy even though you know her boyfriend ain't coming] Rio: [as if she would just invite girls lol oh boy] Buster: [he is so silly and so obvious, good day] Rio: [Ryan should come for that throw forward] Buster: [yaaaas] Rio: [least you can be on your phone giving people deets 'cos nowhere to look but at each other rn] Buster: ['which one of your friends is sorting the music?' cos if it's just speakers and a phone you need less room than like decks so he wants to know how for the layout not just being a judgey prick] Rio: ['Leesha's brother has a proper setup, he's gonna bring it, she's not far away'] Buster: [nodding and going back to drinking whatever he is because the levels of awks] Rio: [just looking at him 'what did you invite me for?'] Buster: ['I already told you' maintain that eye contact always] Rio: [a LOOK] Buster: [you've gotta have one back forever] Rio: ['truce, yeah?'] Buster: ['Yeah' passes her the bottle he's drinking from to make the point] Rio: [takes a swig, still not breaking that eye contact] Buster: [takes it back and takes his own swig also not breaking it] Rio: [smiles at him for probably first time in forever] Buster: [smiling back because can't not] Rio: [better have people showing to interrupt for now] Buster: [get the dj lad in so he can leave her to sort that] Rio: [chat to your friend that came with] Buster: [we can always skip to later when they are drunker and more people are here if you want] Rio: [why not, we know the drill] Buster: [I'm gonna say that girl did show so he's been focused on that since lbr he don't really have that many friends in Dublin cos he hasn't been back much etc] Rio: [Fair] Rio: idk where you are but the downstairs loos lowkey been trashed Rio: might need turn the water off, i think? Buster: Fuck's sake Buster: [Does come and do that cos he could've been upstairs easily enough] Rio: Its a party Rio: [is obvs not just there when he comes down but in the kitchen or some shit] Buster: Cheers for the reminder, like Buster: [let's say he comes back through the kitchen then so they have to cross paths haha] Rio: [shrugs like yeah people are dicks especially drunk people but what you gonna do] Rio: aren't you enjoying yourself then Buster: [reads it and shrugs back 'tonight's not about me, remember'] Rio: [mouths 'still'] Buster: [gets another drink which could mean either yeah cos there are still drinks left or nah and I need this, there's no way to know] Rio: at least it was an ugly bathroom? Rio: be replaced anyway, yeah Rio: [going through to the lounge to dance] Buster: 'Course Buster: Like I said, ideal venue Rio: [reads it and does a thumbs up] Buster: [comes through to dance with this unnamed girl who has come downstairs and found him again] Rio: [god knows who you are tbh] Buster: [generic 13 year old irish white girl ftw thank god he's a good dancer cos the odds that she is are not good] Rio: [just getting her off the dance floor real quick] Buster: [don't embarrass him in front of his cousin/ love of his life and all her friends thank you] Rio: [bless lol] Buster: [she should so leave early like he said he'd take the piss out of Rio for doing though cos then what's he gonna do with himself] Rio: [be bored and drunk, a deadly combo] Buster: [exactly dr phil] Rio: [should go off to the non-broken bathroom with a group of peeps inc. Ryan] Rio: d'ya want some coke Buster: Obviously Rio: Come upstairs then Buster: [does and soz about everyone else he only has 👀 for Rio] Rio: [likewise that twat who's probably mad all these other hoes are here 'cos clearly just wanna ply her with drugs casually but gotta keep it casual for now boy and pretend you're nice] Buster: [thank fuck I said he'd done coke before because I'd die if he made a fool of himself in front of Ryan] Rio: [I like to think she ain't but is 'cos he has, I won't let you fuck it up too hard babe, watch the others, like] Buster: [I like to think he knows she hasn't cos of her reaction when he said he has so he goes first so she can watch him] Rio: [in my head her boyf is less about this life so she's not unlike when Ryan etc so yeah] Buster: [that's legit af cos we all know she does things to please peeps especially at this age etc so] Rio: [exactly dr phil] Buster: [he's just gonna be keeping an eye on her subtly cos don't know how it's gonna hit if you ain't done it before and also Ryan is a dickhead and none of us trust him ever] Rio: [least it lasts for like no time so you gon be fine babe, also yeah let's all get out of this bathroom and away from him tah for your drugs] Buster: [Buster just chatting to one of her female friends who was also there but 👀s on Rio like making sure she's alright] Rio: [why not wander outside 'cos hot] Buster: [definitely gonna follow her even though he's got no excuse] Rio: [just looking up fully expecting anyone else so like 'oh, hiya'] Buster: ['hey' but said so it means are you okay] Rio: [little lol 'tah for making sure I don't die for my ma and that, like' but smiles like, I'm good] Buster: ['it ain't only for her' cos remember neither of them are allowed to die they said] Rio: [obvs remembers that too so just a sad kinda 'yeah' Buster: [turning to go cos she's alright and he don't wanna bring her down that ain't the mood] Rio: ['you off then?] Buster: ['Out of the garden anyway' turns back to look at her again 'coming?'] Rio: ['I dunno, am I invited?' but grins and gets up to come] Buster: [pulls her along but gently not rudely like come on, again no excuse for that have you] Rio: ['Come dance with me or I'm gonna talk and talk to you, like' up in his ear] Buster: [when you're really into her being that close to you but you have to hide it by looking down at her heels like 'trying to keep you alive, remember' and 😏] Rio: [a face like pfft 'I'm not taking them off, remember, come on'] Buster: [does come on because we all know he's wanted to dance with her since forever] Rio: [we all know it's gonna be such a moment but we can pretend its the drugs so fuck it go all out Buster: [literally though because even without their shameless chemistry they're both such good dancers but add that and the drugs and the fact they've never done this with each other and every pent up emotion bye] Rio: [fully gonna have to have a 'big tune comes on so everyone jumps in and they get split up' or else, like] Buster: [true that even though he'll be FUMING and probably have to fight someone now how lads do but we can blame the coke for that too at least] Rio: [we can let 'em have it 'til the last second though 'cos rude like that] Buster: [simply must so it's torturous when they have to stop] Rio: [just gonna go to that hoarders garage whilst he's fighting this lad so 1. you don't see/can't intervene 2. you can be alone and frustrated yourself 'cos who else would be in there, like] Buster: [enough time to have gone by that he's won a fight] Buster: Talk to me then Rio: Yeah? Rio: I see why you needed another line, like Buster: Has your friend got any more? Rio: Unless he's gone through it all Rio: such a fiend Rio: I'll find him Buster: Alright Rio: Where are you anyway Buster: Some cunt got the door stuck on the master bedroom and can't get out Buster: I'm gonna break it down, like Rio: embarrassing Rio: at least they'll have time to get clothed and you aren't a dad Buster: Yeah Buster: Where are you? Rio: on the move now Rio: figure best bets are side of the dancefloor for max perving potential Rio: or out front with their cars doing whatever lads do with cars Rio: looking at 'em Rio: shag 'em, like 🙄 Buster: Careful, that was actually funny Rio: I am funny Rio: you wouldn't know Buster: Well, I wasn't planning to laugh the door off its hinges so behave for a sec Rio: 😏 Rio: just use your brute strength, got it Buster: You don't need much but probably should make sure the cunt in question don't have his nose pressed against the side I ain't on Buster: Or something else Rio: Or someone else Rio: well considerate, you Buster: Exactly Buster: And yeah, but you wouldn't know Rio: 'cos you hate me now Buster: Hilarious Buster: You gonna keep the jokes going for the rest of the night or just til you find your friend? Rio: Hates a strong word Rio: but if I find him I can definitely keep it coming, like Rio: ha what if its him Rio: in the bedroom Buster: Don't do it all without me Buster: Unless he's in there doing some shit to himself with the old tools in the shed, unlikely Rio: Awh, so mean Rio: its probably Dan though, s'always Dan Buster: As long as it wasn't him I beat up Buster: Maybe Rio: what you do that for Buster: I don't know if it was him or not Rio: Yeah but I mean Rio: you know what I mean Buster: Whoever the fuck it was got in my way Rio: excuse me usually works alright for me Buster: 'Cause you're beautiful, everything and anything works for you Rio: you are too Buster: Not to him and it was mutual so Rio: I guess Buster: He was fucking off to the garden to lick his wounds if you wanna see which of your friends it is Rio: How many people do you want me looking for Rio: honestly Buster: You told me you could multitask Rio: I'm already talking and walking Buster: Poor baby Buster: I bet your shoes are killing you by now Rio: They are, actually Rio: sarcasm detected but ignored Buster: I'll find you and carry you, hold on Rio: Now who's got jokes 😏 Buster: This is serious Buster: Do I get any clues as to your location or no? Rio: It's more fun if you come find me Rio: hide and seek Buster: You've got a point Buster: And you're on Rio: Count to ten Buster: [voice memo of the count because how else will she know] Rio: [sends one back and she's just chuckling like nothing else of real importance there babe] Buster: [so cute though] Rio: [honestly where are you gonna hide, like] Buster: [is she gonna be in the hoarders garage again or somewhere else? tbf the trashed bathroom would be a good place cos he wouldn't think to look there until he's checked everywhere else] Rio: [also risky 'cos who else would be in a unusable bathroom so doing it] Buster: [casually looking all round the house but it's not that big so] Rio: you're slow Buster: Your attempts to distract me ain't gonna work Buster: I'm getting us drinks so you can pour mine into my mouth for the full visual, obviously Rio: Hmm Rio: I might be asleep by then Rio: not a clue, although I am straight chilling Buster: Fine, if you don't want yours, I'll give it to your pretty mate Rio: 😠 Rio: play the game Buster: Just 'cause you can't distract me don't mean she couldn't Buster: It ain't my fault she's playing a different game Rio: ugh Rio: shut up Buster: Make me Rio: Can't Rio: you already said Buster: [appears and is giving her a look like okay now make me which isn't dangerous at all] Rio: [just taking her drink and downing it like it's mine as are you bye] Buster: [just watching her do it shamelessly] Rio: ['how do we know who's won?' like do u mean hide and seek or what, we'll never know but all the eye contact rn Buster: [just brushing her lips with his fingers so suggestively like okay boy 1. she does not need you to wipe her mouth thank you and 2. have the decency to not be maintaining that eye contact if you're gonna be so blatant 'sure we can figure it out somehow'] Rio: [just tracing where his fingers were with her own with the vague excuse of wiping him away if she needs it but barely thinking about any of that nonsense right now 'Well, can you walk and think, McKenna?' 'cos not forgot you're meant to be carrying her rn] Buster: [downs his drink so they don't have to worry about carrying it and picks her up effortlessly cos she's smol and he's strong as if that answers that but we know he can't think coherently any time they are that close/ have physical contact] Rio: [such a bad idea all 'round but 0 regrets] Buster: [the fact everybody's gonna see that he's carrying her around this party while they look for Ryan and drugs] Rio: [don't mind them lmao, so blatant for forever, it's not like a platonic piggyback moment and we can all see it] Buster: [Ryan is gonna be so angered] Rio: [not gonna be in a sharing mood] Buster: [if they even find him cos distracted af] Rio: [truly like how are you hiding you're dying when you're that close, you just ain't] Buster: [it's like jj fake dating all over again cos yeah think it through kids] Rio: [but its so real, can't just not when you've got opportunity and excuse] Buster: [literally cos this is the first time they've been together with no fam also around so I don't blame them remotely and they ain't thinking about tomorrow rn even if I am] Rio: [like fr how freeing 'cos there's no chance of being caught unlike always] Buster: [exactly that cos even if any of her friends were aware they're all wasted and doing their own thing too so] Rio: [and what you gonna do, tell her mum, i think not ladies] Buster: [haha that'd be more awks for her friends than the incest they are accusing her of cos don't be a snitch like] Rio: [exactly dr phil, someone, Ryan, ahem, telling her boyfriend she was all over another boy though, possible] Buster: [oooh he would the snek] Rio: [always been snekky and clearly a shit friend already so] Buster: [I'm here for the relationship drama though cos things are already rocky with her and her mans anyway] Rio: [we all know it ain't gonna last much longer, may as well happen now] Buster: [mhmmm cos we all know Ryan would lay it on really thick even if he hadn't been lurking all night and seen them dancing earlier and everything] Rio: [not like he's opposed to outright lying so if he says they banged then her mans will be mad 'cos they ain't so that'll be it over] Buster: [yeah cos fuck you anyway tbh boy you're not a good egg] Rio: [also live for you losing your v to him even though its just a rumour not a trumour Buster: [I wish you could guys but we are evil] Rio: [things have gotta happen lads] Buster: [literally gonna be pondering what we can get away with happening rn as I fall asleep] Rio: [dream on, 'cos obvs things do happen over the years before they full get it together, that much is known so you know] Buster: [I didn't have any dreams cos they were all stressy but they should 'look' for him in places he ain't likely to be but there are likely to be less people around cos blatant] Rio: [I'm with that] Buster: [risky but that's the mood tonight so] Rio: [and lowkey always 'cos can't be tamed, clearly, just adjusting yourself by holding on 'round his neck 'are you tired yet?'] Buster: [looking at her like do I look tired but we all know you just wanna do all the eye contact always] Rio: [😏 'cos you clearly do not wanna be put down either] Buster: [😏 too and in her ear being flirty af and letting your lips brush against her skin like your fingertips did earlier cos why just talk even though she'd hear you fine and you'd have to inconvenience yourself bending and shit like when you can be extra 'So are you having a good night?' Rio: [when you'd just shiver on contact and there's no hiding that so you don't, just nodding 'not bad' 'cos who doesn't love a challenge as if this hasn't gone far enough children] Buster: [carrying on looking for Ryan despite knowing that's not what she meant cos not gonna make it that easy to get what she actually wants obvs] Rio: ['he wouldn't have gone home without saying bye to me' 'cos ain't that the tea] Buster: [laughs like yeah true cos we all know it's the tea] Rio: [oh Ryan] Buster: [takes her to get a drink cos they ain't getting any drugs at this rate] Rio: [gives him his like he said which is akin to sexy crepes] Buster: [no hiding that you're into it] Rio: [in his ear back 'you should drink with me more'] Buster: ['you just wanna be carried around more' and like does a spin or something fun to make the point] Rio: [loling, loving life 'maybe' also cue Ryan spotting y'all instead of you finding him] Buster: ['Definitely' and more silliness until Ryan's ⛈ appears] Rio: [least he won't be obvious that he's gonna snitch 'cos snekky so your night won't be ruined 'til tomorrow but he's still salty enough I doubt he's giving you coke] Buster: [Buster should offer to pay him cos answer to everything so then she can get his wallet out of his pocket cos he's still holding her and can't and obvs no other reason lol] Rio: [we all 👀 you, now debating if he should let 'em or be like nah 'cos pros either way, if he does then he can tell her mans they were getting crunk in all the ways he don't like but if he doesn't its like can't buy everything, Buster] Buster: [I think he should do the whole I don't want your money but give it her anyway cos 1. what you said about her mans and 2. he looks like he's such a good friend for reconsidering etc] Rio: [Solid, let us run with it and you can now leave boy, your purpose has been served] Buster: [go back to the non functional bathroom so you don't have to share with anyone upstairs] Rio: [none for yous bye] Buster: [he should sit on whatever to do the lines but not putting her down so she's sitting on his lap for this so casually] Rio: [nbd that's just chill] Buster: [absolutely the most non event ever] Rio: [you shouldn't like, get up, nah, not at all babe] Buster: [god bless] Rio: [just looking at his eyes like to see how fucked he is but what else are you gonna do rn] Buster: [meanwhile he's looking at her mouth cos wants to kiss her always and forever] Rio: ['you're fucked' but with feeling, good to get the excuse out there] Buster: ['Yeah' but quietly like how he said her name when he was about to kiss her those other times] Rio: ['me too' still not looking away] Buster: [staring back at her like I know] Rio: ['it's weird, isn't it' looking away like she's looking around, shaking her head 'I mean, no one is gonna wake up and stop us now'] Buster: [touching her face so she'll look at him but the way he would've after he headbutted her that time and she got hurt like it's a flashback moment 'Do you want to be stopped?'] Rio: [shakes her head, but slower, so her head ends up resting on his hand, 'You never want to be stopped, like'] Buster: ['I'm not asking myself the question, I know what I want'] Rio: ['What do you want?'] Buster: ['What do you want, it's your party'] Rio: ['That you made for me'] Buster: ['Like you said, it ain't bad, but that's not good enough, so like I said, what do you want?'] Rio: ['Do I have to say it?'] Buster: ['Tell me' cos that doesn't mean she has to use her words it just means he needs to know] Rio: ['You know, Buster, you've always known' and no way to stop you going in for this kiss now] Buster: [letting it happen cos that's their first kiss really, the awkward kid one playing dares wasn't anything like what they wanted it to be for many reasons] Rio: [no one is rushing to claim that even though its so cute god bless, let 'em have this moment so they know its 🔥] Buster: [just gonna make out til your lips are bruised the next day cos that won't be awkward] Rio: [let's hope you've not got some forced family fun to attend lmao, at least someone who doesn't know the toilet is bust/or does not care can interrupt before we go all out here] Buster: [her boyfriend gonna be raging imagine and yeah parties are full of easy interruptions] Rio: [though they might need a like 'the cops/baze are coming' kinda interruption here 'cos we know there's no stopping now you know] Buster: [true the police could shut this down cos then he'll be in even more trouble and there's less chance of them crossing paths these hols] Rio: [yeah that's big trouble, like actual consequences vibe, everyone scatter then] Buster: [baze could even send him home with one of them if we wanted/needed so] Rio: [or all go home in disgrace] Buster: [yeah soz Nance] Rio: [ruin the hol, also leave mcvickers without as much help, all 'round gonna get you on the shit list, wanna skip to tomorrow?] Buster: [oh boy you've really fucked up here and yeah we can skip] Rio: hear you're going home Buster: You heard right for once Rio: how long you in the shit for Rio: forever, like? Buster: Until I do something worse Buster: Or redeem myself by winning something, like Rio: Won't take you long once school starts back up then Rio: somehow nan believed I was somewhere else so Rio: 'trouble' looks like the usual, tied to the kids as per Buster: I told you, they all see what they wanna see 👸 Rio: Sure they'd be more suspicious if the gaff was my parents and the keys were missing Buster: Probably Rio: Or if we didn't hate each other, obvs Buster: Well yeah Rio: I'll invite Nance back next hols Rio: make it up to her Buster: I'd tell her but she ain't speaking or listening to me Buster: If only my parents would shut up as well I wouldn't have a headache Rio: There was only a few days left anyway, she'd be dreading going back regardless Rio: I feel like shit and all, the painkillers ain't touching it Buster: Careful, it almost sounds like you're on my side Buster: [tells her some weird remedy that he's created that he would swear by and probably does actually work cos he's smart like that but I'm not trying to think of rn cos I'm not] Rio: It was my party so Rio: but don't get your parents to patch me into the telling off, I can use my imagination Rio: gotta dedicate all my brain power to the cure rn anyway Buster: Work out too if you can lose your shadow for long enough Rio: Let's not get carried away Buster: Come on, that's bare minimum Buster: You mentioned dedication a second ago Rio: You also don't need to take over for 'em and lecture me Rio: Running 'round after this lot is so much cardio tah 💪 Buster: Whatever you say, babe Rio: 🙄😏 Rio: did you get caught then Buster: You don't need me to answer that for you Rio: but is that a lowkey humblebrag or a duh, I'm in trouble now, bitch 🤔 Buster: Either/Or Rio: how are your feet Buster: I wasn't wearing heels in case your memory's unreliable Rio: Shame Rio: I meant 'cos of the running we had to do though Buster: I know what you meant Buster: I'm fine Rio: Good Buster: Are you? Rio: I did take my shoes off for that Rio: not gonna let your efforts be for naught, like Rio: very rude Buster: Good Rio: though my house has never felt further Rio: which is saying something Buster: Where's that pumpkin carriage when you want it, yeah? Rio: tbh Rio: maybe my tiara has slipped Rio: 💔 Buster: Impossible Rio: Appreciate the faith Buster: And more realistically all the hair you've got to keep that tiara in place, I'm sure Rio: That actually makes it harder, I'll have you know Rio: how dare you doubt how hard this princess business is Buster: Really? Rio: Have you seen all my hair Rio: its out of control Buster: Yeah so like trap the tiara in, no? Rio: You're such a boy 😂 Buster: Cheers Rio: it wasn't a compliment but its pretty cute Buster: It's a compliment if I take it as one and I am Rio: Have at it Rio: you probably need it Buster: What's that meant to mean? Rio: That you're in everyone's bad book rn Rio: what else Buster: I don't need your pity or their pats on the head Rio: it ain't pity, and you've taken it now Buster: Fuck that Rio: Fine, don't take the compliment Buster: I don't want it Rio: Okay Rio: I'll survive Buster: No doubt Rio: 👌 Buster: We done? Rio: Sure Rio: good luck then Buster: What's luck got to do with anything? Rio: Don't hurt, does it Rio: didn't you learn anything from the museum Buster: I'm already not hurting Buster: And nah, you know I didn't Rio: Your headache gone then Rio: good stuff Buster: There's fuck all you can say or do regardless Buster: Keep your luck for yourself Rio: Suit yourself Buster: I always do Rio: want a round of applause Rio: I'm fresh out Buster: Like you said, I won't have to wait long to get one Rio: Cute Buster: You already said that too Rio: Remains Rio: you can go now Buster: Yeah I could Rio: You wanna Buster: 'Course, I love giving my parents bullshit my full attention Rio: 😇 son, like Buster: If you were any kind of angel you'd get me out of here Rio: You en-route or in your Dublin prison cell still Buster: 🍀 Rio: Never felt less true, yeah Rio: I don't reckon you're getting past your jailers, or I am Rio: divine intervention pending Buster: You'll just have to distract me then Rio: So we're not done here now? Buster: I only asked if we were, my word ain't yet law, babe Rio: That's not what being a lawyer is Rio: hate to burst your bubble 😏 Buster: I know and I've mourned, like Buster: Don't worry about it Rio: Poor baby Buster: I'm neither, hate to burst yours Rio: Well however will I cope Buster: What can I say? You'll just have to Rio: Cold Buster: I did tell you to get me out of the same room as my mum Rio: Ouch Rio: consider myself 🍀 to get off so lightly then Buster: Yeah Rio: Oh, hold up Rio: [the boyfriend drama] Buster: [when you care but you can't say anything because you have to act like you don't so you're just waiting in silence] Rio: I am usually better at distracting Rio: for the record Rio: had to take a call Buster: It's fine I've got packing to do that for me now Rio: I know Rio: don't want my good name being dragged through the mud any more though so Buster: Any more than what? Rio: Oh Rio: people talk too much Rio: someone from the party told Harry on me so we just had a lovely chat, like Buster: You should've let me kill him when I first suggested it Buster: Problem solved Rio: The problem of being reckoning they know shit when they don't Rio: only half of what I've been accused of is even true, that's what fucks me off Buster: If he's believing someone else over you he's a stupid cunt Buster: End of Rio: Wouldn't you Rio: if your girlfriend was seen doing lines and 'all over' some other lad Buster: It wouldn't happen to me 'cause I don't have girlfriends Buster: What does he do when he goes to parties, recite bible verses? Rio: If you had one though, you wouldn't be happy Buster: If I had one she wouldn't give a fuck about other lads Buster: We aren't talking about me Rio: No, we aren't Rio: I'm just saying I get his logic Rio: not the person, people, whatever who felt the need to rat on me Buster: Nobody saw fuck all so whatever they said to him was bullshit Buster: Meaning he ain't basing anything in logic Rio: Doesn't matter now 'cos I've been dumped regardless Buster: I told you to get in there first Rio: I didn't want to Rio: or I wasn't ready Buster: I also told you that you can do better Buster: You will when you want to Buster: It's his loss Rio: I'd love to know who you'd suggest instead, like Rio: Christ Buster: I'l write you a list when I've got time to kill on the plane Rio: Tah Rio: very generous of you Buster: I am Buster: Not that you'd know Rio: Now you've told me I do Buster: The party and your feet not touching the ground for ages wasn't enough for you? Rio: You're the one that said I didn't know Rio: who am I to disagree Buster: It doesn't normally stop you Buster: In fact, you're usually happy to disagree for the sake of Rio: Hardly at the top of my game right now Rio: did just get dumped over the phone, if you missed it Buster: Fuck that, who the fuck's he to count for anything Buster: Can't even end things face to face Rio: That's indefensibly and undeniably shitty Rio: even if I am a coke whore, come say it to my face, like Buster: You tried it and you liked it, that's not a crime Buster: It's a party, having fun is what people do Buster: Except pussies like him apparently Rio: We hadn't slept together Rio: that's why Rio: with what he's been told, said it was obvious I didn't actually like him, you know Buster: He's put in all those nonce hours for what he considers to be nothing, he's gonna be well mad Rio: Shut up Buster: Would you have fucked him if he'd hung in there? Rio: He was my boyfriend Buster: That's a cop out answer Buster: But assuming you mean yeah, the snitch has done you a favour Buster: And if you weren't going to, he'd have dumped you anyway 'cause he's that cunt Rio: It's not Rio: Weren't planning to see if I could make him wait 'til marriage for the craic, like Rio: Whatever, got to own it now Buster: It is 'cause you don't owe him that for the boyfriend label Buster: You either wanna or you don't Rio: No, I know that Rio: but that is what boyfriends are for Buster: Then you did like him and he's full of shit, bringing us back to my original point that he's a fool for believing rumours over you Rio: I did but Rio: its complicated Rio: maybe I didn't like him that much Rio: I didn't wanna do it then wish I hadn't Buster: If you're second guessing it, don't do it Buster: That's a way to keep things uncomplicated Rio: Well I won't now obviously Rio: why do you think I'm out Rio: he'd get over it all if I would Buster: I don't just mean with him Rio: Are you trying to save me, McKenna? 🙏 Buster: You don't need saving Buster: Not that kind of 👸 remember? Rio: I ain't scared or nothing Buster: What have you got to be scared of? Rio: Exactly Rio: I'm not frigid Buster: I don't reckon that'll be the lie he's spreading, babe Rio: No Rio: its not really lies though Buster: That depends what he's saying Rio: He's not like that Rio: not that it matters 'cos whoever told him is Rio: but I don't care about that Buster: You can find out who it was though, yeah? Rio: I'm asking Rio: the friends I can trust Buster: Good Buster: When you know, tell me Rio: Why Buster: You know why Rio: What if it was a girl Rio: you can't beat her up then Buster: If it was, I obviously won't Rio: I've legit got no idea rn though Rio: I must've been way more out of it that I thought Buster: Your friend did give us a fair amount of coke Buster: And there was more wedding leftovers than I reckoned there would be Rio: Gotta over-cater always Rio: especially with booze Rio: how this family do Buster: But with this fam there ain't usually no such thing Rio: just that 🍀 obvs Buster: 'Course Rio: Its gonna be so boring taking all the kids out now Rio: without you two Buster: Lucky for you they never take my phone as punishment Rio: you really thought they woulda Rio: still want a quiet-ish life, I guess Buster: All that bullshit you said about keeping me as a contact for emergencies ain't in this instance Buster: Don't want me to die, do they? Rio: I doubt they're that pissed off, no 😏 Buster: There's still time Rio: that your goal now? Buster: Hardly a goal when it's that easy Rio: Aim high, boy Buster: I always do Buster: But cheers for the encouragement Rio: I'm very supportive Buster: I bet your ex is really missing you already Rio: You're clearly taking the piss but 'course he is Buster: You could just get back with him Rio: I could Buster: I know that's why I said it Rio: I already said why I don't want to though Buster: Alright Rio: Why are you mad, you think he's a perv Buster: I ain't Rio: Okay Buster: There was no point to the party if everything's shit for you again the next day Buster: That's why I'm wound up about it Rio: There was a point Rio: you can't help that everthings a bit shit right now Rio: I'm not even that upset about him, it was coming, like Buster: I don't do powerlessness Buster: There's always something I can do Rio: If you can think of a way to make Edie happy, you're welcome to Rio: you've done loads Rio: it was a good party Buster: I know it's been years but do you remember any of the 🥊 I taught you? Rio: Yeah Rio: the basics Rio: why? Buster: Teach her Buster: It won't make her happy but it's somewhere to put her anger Rio: It's a good idea Rio: I will Buster: How many times do I have to tell you all my ideas are Rio: You've had a decent streak lately Buster: Fuck off Buster: If you're waiting for me to break it that ain't gonna happen Rio: Why would I want that? Buster: Oh right, you're supportive, I forgot Rio: How many times do I have to tell you, like Buster: Only the one Buster: I'm a good listener, very attentive Buster: Not that you'd know Rio: Don't rub it in Rio: that's just mean Buster: Not rubbing anything, like Buster: Gotta finish my packing Rio: 😂 Buster: Sorry to ruin the fantasy Rio: Yeah that's where my head is Rio: not busy myself, like Buster: You're not that busy Buster: And I don't just say I'm good distraction and then answer my phone, I actually am Rio: How rude Rio: You have to be nice to me, I'm so 💔 rn Buster: 'Cause I'm going home, I know Buster: Me too Rio: Yeah right Rio: you're buzzin Buster: I was counting on your wild siblings to take the heat off me so hardly Buster: They're gonna be on high alert now Rio: Still Rio: you wanted to go home 'fore you'd even left Rio: so swings and roundabouts Buster: Yeah right Rio: you can deny it Rio: I won't tell no one Buster: Why would I? Rio: You could sound more sure then Buster: Again, why Buster: I don't have anything to prove to you Rio: Why lie either way Rio: no reason to not be real Buster: I don't lie Rio: Yeah Buster: I can not wanna be here and not be excited to go back as well Rio: 'Course Buster: Real enough for you? Rio: Yeah Rio: its just conversation Rio: like I said, no reason not to Buster: 'Course there are reasons Buster: But I don't give a shit about 'em Rio: Yeah, reason being if you can't face facts Rio: lots of people can't Buster: I know Rio: but that ain't you Buster: Or you Rio: Nope Rio: can ask me anything Buster: Truth ain't as good as dares, but good to know Rio: Obviously Rio: you ain't in enough trouble for your liking, McKenna Buster: It's not the right kind of trouble for my liking, babe Rio: What you gonna do about it then Buster: According to you there's nothing I can do Buster: I'm not getting out and you're not getting in Buster: Tell me when you're done underestimating me and I'll think of something Rio: You said high alert Rio: I can't say I'm coming to see your sister then ignore her Buster: Don't ignore her then Buster: But don't ignore me either Rio: I don't wanna use her Rio: but I do wanna come say bye in person Buster: You ain't using her if you say bye to her too Rio: Okay Rio: I'll see if your 'rents let me in then or shut the door in my face Buster: Nance will let you in Buster: Even though she's in a really bad mood Rio: I can imagine Rio: guess it ain't worth the few extra days to have her fly back alone though Buster: Depends who you ask Rio: Obvs Rio: have you spoken to her like at all since you came here? Buster: You told me to leave her alone Rio: I know Rio: I was asking though Buster: Well the answer's no Rio: That's gonna be rough Rio: probably leave it 'til she's calm-er Buster: It's not like we have anything to say to each other anyway Rio: She might disagree Buster: Yeah but she's unlikely to voice it right now so Rio: Problem for another day Rio: I feel ya Buster: Nah, her problem Rio: Okay Buster: I didn't do any of it to fuck up her holiday Buster: She needs to get over herself Rio: Yeah but it still did, from her perspective Buster: If she can't convince 'em to let her stay, that's her problem too Rio: Yeah Rio: not disagreeing Buster: You don't have to be nice to me, I ain't heartbroken Rio: I'm not being nice Rio: it literally is her problem Rio: what do you want me to say, like Buster: Like I said, shit like that doesn't normally stop you Rio: Funny Rio: There ain't no point Rio: I've said what I need to say about the whole thing already Buster: Alright Rio: Yeah? Rio: You can say what you want Buster: I already did too Rio: Good Rio: we all know where we stand then Buster: Yeah Rio: Do you like school then Buster: Like ain't the word Buster: No cunts like school Rio: Why not Rio: if you're smart and you got mates Buster: It's easy that don't mean it's good Rio: I hate it Buster: 'Course you do Buster: It's boring Rio: There's just so much of it that has no point Rio: if we didn't have to do that, it'd be alright Buster: Not disagreeing Rio: and teachers weren't failures on a power trip Rio: that too Buster: 😂 Rio: It's true Rio: its the job you get when you realise you've got a pointless degree and no other prospects Buster: Not the career you want then? Rio: Ha Rio: no thanks Buster: The hypothetical kids you won't teach now are gonna be gutted Rio: I know Rio: so hot for teacher Rio: but I don't plan to spend my entire life babysitting, soz Buster: Good Rio: Glad you approve Buster: Much as it obviously pains me, like Rio: 😏 Rio: You'll get over it Buster: Did my cure work or have you still got a headache to get over? Rio: I do feel alright now actually Rio: where'd you find that Buster: I'd say trial and error but I don't make mistakes Rio: Still think that? Buster: Show me one Rio: nah Buster: Exactly Rio: maybe I just don't wanna Buster: Maybe you can't Rio: shh Buster: You can say it Rio: what, shut up? Buster: No, if you think the party was Rio: It's if you do Buster: I told you, I don't make mistakes Rio: Good Buster: It was Rio: Yeah Rio: I know Buster: As long as you had a good night that's all that matters Rio: I did Rio: just shame it got cut short Buster: Yeah Buster: Not the ending I wanted Rio: Next time Buster: You gonna throw a party for me? Rio: I owe you now Rio: you will actually have to come back though, can't virtually attend Buster: You could come to London Rio: True Rio: better for your guestlist Buster: It'd be easy enough to get Nance to invite you over Rio: I don't reckon she'd wanna come to the party though Rio: call it a hunch Buster: She's not invited Rio: You're rude Buster: Call it a private party if it makes you feel better Buster: Nobody else is invited Rio: just us? Buster: We've got a hot tub here as well Buster: And I've got more cocktail making skills now Rio: That's still one of the best things anyone's ever done for me Buster: Until I do it even better Rio: when Rio: when can I come, I mean Buster: Probably let my mum and dad calm down Buster: But as discussed, it won't take long once school starts Buster: And Nance'll be happy to have you here once it does Rio: Okay Rio: that's not too long Buster: You are coming to say goodbye, right? Rio: Yeah Rio: I'm on my way Rio: it'll take me a while, couldn't really ask nan to load everyone up, like so I'm on the bus Buster: Okay Buster: It seems like a ball ache but nan wanting to stay for coffee would be worse Rio: She's not invited either Rio: no offense Buster: I'm sure she's pissed off at me as well Buster: Usually is Rio: You won't notice the difference Buster: I won't notice fuck all else when you're here Rio: Buster Buster: Yeah? Rio: I'll miss you Rio: I have Buster: I know Rio: I know Buster: I'm sorry that you're gonna miss me more Buster: Not sorry enough that I'm not still gonna make you Rio: I can handle it Buster: We'll see Rio: You will Buster: Careful, if that's a promise, you have to keep it Rio: I intend to Buster: You also intend not to ignore my sister, so you said Rio: How long have I got, roughly Buster: That's more dependent on her than it is me Buster: I'd give you as long as you want Rio: You're generous, I remember Buster: I'm not gonna let you forget Rio: I wish I could just see you Buster: I can sneak out but that might give us less time Rio: You should stay put Rio: I just know there's only so much time I can be in the bathroom or whatever before its suspect Rio: everyone knows a goodbye between us should take literally 2 seconds so, I'm trying to think of a way Buster: I'll take the dog 'cause that's literally a punishment in itself Buster: Meet me and then when the clock runs down on that excuse I'll head home and you can show up Rio: another 💡 for your collection Buster: Plenty of time for you to still be hungover in the bathroom and whatever else we need Rio: You're good, I'll admit it Buster: You ain't seen nothing yet Buster: Get her to make you food even if you don't want it, she takes fucking ages to do that Rio: Wouldn't call it nothing Rio: but I wanna see more Buster: No denying it was something but you can have everything if you want Rio: Is that a promise? Buster: Yeah Rio: Then I want it Buster: I've missed you too Buster: I will Rio: I know Rio: now you can show me, yeah Buster: 'Course Rio: Good Rio: 'cos there's a lot you missed Buster: You'll catch me up Rio: Be rude not to Buster: We can't have that Buster: You've got a rep for being so polite, like Rio: Exactly Rio: and who would wanna tarnish my 😇 reputation? Rio: not you Buster: Obviously not Rio: 😏 Buster: Rio Rio: Mm? Buster: Never mind Rio: No Rio: go on Buster: I was just gonna say that I've not done loads of shit with other girls, you know Buster: Not yet Rio: That don't matter Rio: you know I haven't either, not everything Rio: it'll still be good Rio: when you want it so bad it can't not be Buster: Unless you want it too bad, then it could be Rio: I know what you're saying but I promise it'll still be good Rio: there's loads of ways to make it last as long as we both want it to Buster: Yeah I know, forget I said anything Rio: Alright but you don't need to be nervous Rio: or anything like that Rio: its just me Buster: That 'just' shouldn't be there though Buster: It's you Rio: I'm in the same boat Rio: you know Rio: I feel like I could explode whenever you're around Buster: You're a girl it doesn't matter if you do Rio: That's not totally true Buster: You know what I mean Rio: Nah, I do, I'm trying to say Rio: its embarrassing Buster: You don't need to be Rio: Well sometimes Rio: I cum so hard I pass out Rio: what if that happened, you'd be so freaked out Buster: I can hold you up, I've already proved how easy you are to carry Buster: Don't worry Rio: As long as you don't Rio: even if we've not got time today Rio: we will Buster: I swear Buster: I'm not worried Buster: I just wanted to tell you 'cause of how socials makes shit look Buster: So you don't think it's you if I fuck it up somehow Rio: I appreciate it, seriously Rio: but I know you Rio: when its just us Rio: I know Buster: I feel that too Buster: Even when I didn't wanna Rio: Its always been good Rio: when we let it Rio: when we could Buster: Yeah Buster: All through your parents wedding I kept thinking about when mine did it Buster: How different everything was between us Rio: so much is Rio: but some things haven't changed, can't Buster: I'm still sorry though Buster: For shit that has Rio: Me too Buster: I don't hate you Buster: I never did Buster: It's not too strong of a word, it's the wrong word Buster: End of Rio: I don't hate you either Rio: and I give a shit about you, no matter what you do Rio: just remember that, yeah Buster: Don't let me forget Buster: We can be friends can't we, like as far as everyone else is concerned Rio: We were before Buster: Exactly Buster: There's no reason you shouldn't be able to come and see me in my own fucking house Buster: Or vice versa Rio: Right Rio: we can easily do it Buster: We can do whatever we want Rio: and I want you Rio: as long as you want me too, I don't care Buster: Jesus, hearing you actually say that is Rio: Its weird how easy it was to say Rio: when I've not been able to for so long, still shouldn't but Buster: When it makes me feel like that you definitely should Rio: There's so much I wanna tell you Rio: that I've never before Buster: So tell me Buster: You're stuck on a bus, what else are we gonna do? Rio: Won't be the first time I've thought about you on this bus ride, like Rio: it does take forever Buster: If we're playing that game there's fuck all places in this house and out of it that I ain't thought of you Rio: I hope so Rio: 'cos I think about you a lot Buster: Make it a contest if you like, babe, I'm confident that I'll win Rio: I won't mind losing to you if this is what it feels like Buster: Did you think about me when you were with him? Rio: Do you really wanna know? Buster: I wouldn't have asked if I didn't Rio: I did Rio: I tried not to but my brain would just go there if it got remotely good, when I couldn't control it Buster: And the more you try not to, the more you do Rio: Exactly Rio: and I can't even pretend he was just bad, its not like he's the only person I've kissed so Buster: Same, I've kissed a lot of girls but I always think about you whoever the fuck they are Rio: and its like, I can't even be mad about it or you 'cos it always makes it so Buster: Exactly Rio: Sometimes I think its the only way I can, with some people, you know Buster: Yeah, I understand that Rio: You're just Rio: you're you Rio: there's no one else like you, I swear Buster: The fact is, there's nobody else on our level Buster: It's me and it's you Buster: I invited that girl 'cause I thought it was just the ones from Chelsea Buster: That's bullshit though Rio: Its like Rio: its really fucking hard to like anyone else when you exist Buster: I know Buster: She wanted to do all sorts to me and with me but I said no Buster: Even though you had a nonce boyfriend at the time Rio: Neither of them is here now Rio: I can make you forget Buster: I already have Rio: Good Rio: I don't like her Buster: Me either Rio: Feeling jealous over you feels so stupid Rio: but I feel it all the time Buster: Don't Buster: I don't give a shit about any of 'em Buster: Ever Rio: I know Rio: and they still get to see you and talk to you and touch you and Rio: just not fair Buster: I want to see you and talk to you and touch you though Buster: I wanted to before I even knew what the fuck that meant Rio: I always wanted you around Rio: and I knew it was different to the way I felt about any of the others Rio: I just didn't know why or how yet Buster: Besides, nobody actually properly does any of those things to me so you can have it Buster: Everything, like I said Rio: People never wanna talk about anything real Rio: never mind the rest Rio: I'm sorry, that I didn't give you more of a chance to tell your side at the wedding Rio: Nancy was just really in a bad way about it when she got here Buster: You've given me more chances than the rest of this fam does Buster: And you had enough you were dealing with Buster: She's always in a bad way about me, forget it Buster: I don't care Rio: I know its hard being the one expected to look after the others Rio: harder when you can't Buster: She's expected to look after herself, that's the only real problem she's got Rio: Still, you're her older brother, that'll always mean something Buster: We ain't kids any more, that means something too Buster: But to her it means she can't run to me or mum to fix everything Buster: It's about time she finally got her head around that, like Rio: That's true too Rio: I think she's trying Buster: Not hard enough, obviously Rio: She'll get there Rio: but right now, its us Rio: and we can talk about anything we want Buster: Yeah we can Buster: And I ain't even wasted, what a headfuck Rio: I don't wish I was Rio: its better Buster: You don't wish you were 'cause your headache's only just gone Rio: well that Rio: and there's nothing to hide behind Buster: You don't need to hide from me Rio: I don't want to Rio: It feels good being real Buster: I don't want you to Buster: I want you to feel good Rio: I want it for you too Buster: I know Buster: Be here and I will Rio: Your dog won't run away will it Buster: Nah, it's smarter than that Buster: and the only one of us who does what it's told, like Rio: Good, because I don't plan to be chasing it around with the limited time we have Buster: Have you got heels on again? Rio: Maybe Rio: but that's not the point is it 😏 Buster: The point is, you ain't gonna erase the high difference if you do or don't Rio: I'm not trying to Rio: I'm trying to reach you Buster: I'll help you Rio: You better Rio: I like being that close to you Buster: What else do you like? Rio: Sitting on your lap was Buster: Good 'cause you'll have to when I take your shoes off, it's been raining Rio: I won't complain Buster: Neither will your poor feet Rio: You can make me feel better Buster: Yeah, I can and I will Rio: You're so fucking Buster: What? Rio: fucking hot Buster: Oh Rio: Oh? Buster: Why does it feel like the first time anyone's ever said that to me? Rio: 'cos you wanted to hear it from me way before anyone else said it Buster: Fuck Rio: Where am I meeting you, only a few stops away Buster: [a location which we can assume is a park or whatever cos the dog] Rio: 5 minutes Buster: It better be 'cause I'm leaving now Rio: I can't last any longer than that, so it has to be Buster: Poor baby Rio: Oh Buster: Oh? Rio: I like it when you call me that Buster: Okay, baby Rio: 🤤 Rio: how can I already hear how good that sounds in your accent, like Buster: How much have you thought about me saying it? Rio: Not quite as much as I think about you saying my name Rio: but I think about that a lot Buster: Get off the goddamn bus now and I'll say it a lot Buster: Along with anything else you want Rio: I'm gonna hold you to that Rio: if I remember to think of anything but you and where I want you anytime soon Buster: I'm gonna hold you for as long as we have so I'd say it's unlikely you'll be able to think clearly Rio: I don't need to think Rio: I need you Rio: now Buster: Say that again Rio: I need you right now Buster: Is this real? Buster: Jesus Christ Rio: I'm serious, deadly Rio: so if you're playing with me right now, I will kill you Buster: I'm not Buster: I just can't believe this is actually happening Buster: That you feel how I do Buster: That we can tell each other Rio: Me either Rio: I've felt like this for Rio: forever Rio: You can tell me anything, seriously Rio: even if its something you reckon I don't wanna hear, I'd rather that than fuck all Rio: 'cos this is Rio: so much better Buster: I couldn't disagree even if I wanted to Rio: Don't Rio: [be showing up] Buster: [I hope there's lowkey somewhere you can hide if this is a park during the holidays and she legit lives here we don't need to be running into randoms rn] Rio: [you can find some quiet corner lads, I believe in you, even if you have to go into the foliage lowkey] Buster: [at least the dog wouldn't care when he picks her up like immediately cos baze have been there, done that honey] Rio: [lord knows those two are forever highkey] Buster: [I love them so much and every time the kids shade them I'm like excuse you] Rio: [ungrateful brats lol, also literally no way she's not kissing on his as they're tryna walk, like girl, anyone could be here, god bless you highkey idiots] Buster: [it's fine cos we know he's as extra and gives as few fucks] Buster: [at least have a glorious make out session before we move you though] Rio: [live your best life kids, when this has been SO long coming you need to be outside rn or we're outing ourselves immediately and you must not] Buster: [at least with them being outside it'll be easy to make them wanna go home cos so many clothes in the way as it's feb] Rio: [it would be chilly af, with that, first time nerves, the dog and baze blowing up your phone like come back, its believable, away you go] Buster: [yeah and we all know you'd wanna touch and see so much of each other cos you're those bitches] Rio: [good god if you ain't gonna go all out after this] Buster: [How the fuck are they gonna keep quiet for real cos he can put his hand over her mouth or whatever but he's a loud bitch his damn self] Rio: [if you can't get it done now with baze and Nancy home, she will have to come to London] Buster: [yas hot tub surprise 2.0 thank you] Rio: [that will be a cute full circle moment also give you some time to not be cockblocked] Buster: [should we still let them now or say they didn't get chance to fully go all in?] Rio: [Hmm, I say mutual 'things' but still not the full thing, enough to miss each other and know its gonna but being realistic about how much time they can have without Nancy at least noticing] Buster: [I vibe] Rio: [Have a final cockblock babe] Buster: [the goodbye is gonna be so cos can't show how gutted you truly are in front of peeps] Rio: [oh babes, at least you can have a lil private one 'cos that's rough] Buster: [we'll get her to London soon kids don't worry] Rio: [do you think they're going tonight or tomorrow] Buster: [in my head I thought tomorrow morning but it can be whenever] Buster: [ooh he should walk her to the bus so they can have their lil goodbye but nobody can stop him cos it's for safety bitch] Rio: [that's a mood forever, oh the emotions rn like] Buster: [like we don't know the time, it could be getting dark by the time she leaves cos Nancy is highkey] Rio: [how distracted she would be the entire time like I'm so sorry girl lol] Buster: [oh you awkward self centred gay how do you not realize] Rio: [what a read] Buster: Talk to me then Rio: I miss you already Buster: Don't Buster: You're gonna be with me really soon Rio: I know Rio: still Buster: Baby Rio: It doesn't feel real Rio: I can't believe it is Buster: But it is Buster: It happened Rio: I know Rio: my lips were already bruised from last night but now Buster: Yeah, mine too Buster: I'm happy that they are Rio: I need to feel you when you're not around Rio: bruises are good Buster: Exactly Buster: I'd almost forgotten that there was a better feeling than winning a fight Rio: I won't let you forget Buster: Good, don't Rio: I ain't going to Rio: we ain't done here Buster: I'm done here but not with you Rio: I'm definitely holding you to that Buster: You can Rio: What else Rio: whilst you're promising me things Buster: Whatever else you want Rio: Everything Rio: yeah? Buster: I promise Rio: I just want you Rio: all that entails Buster: You have me Rio: and you've got me Buster: I don't wanna go Rio: I know Rio: it feels like when we were younger and the holidays always went too fast Buster: Walking away from you was always so shit Buster: And yet again I'm spending all night looking at a packed suitcase instead of you Buster: Fuck all has changed but everything has, like Rio: its fucking surreal Rio: having to say goodbye in front of your family like I don't care at all Buster: We could leave together tomorrow before the flight Buster: It wouldn't be the first supposedly impossible thing I've ever done Rio: you've gotta go back and do your time as a good boy Rio: otherwise they'll never let me come see you Buster: I've gotta be with you now Rio: When's your flight? Buster: [a time] Buster: I can't get on it Buster: I know I can do anything but I can't Rio: We can make this work Rio: I'll come see you before you go Buster: Fuck it, I just won't go Rio: Buster Rio: Its gonna be okay, I promise Buster: Yeah it will 'cause they can't make me board a plane Buster: I'll just stay with you like we both want Rio: Okay and then what Rio: you've got school to smash, all that important stuff Rio: we'll still be together, it won't be like before, not talking or anything Buster: You're more important than any of it Buster: This way nothing goes to shit as soon as I set foot back in London Rio: It won't go to shit, we won't let it Rio: can do anything, right? Rio: we want this, then we'll have it, no matter what Buster: You have to be right about this Rio: I swear, I'll do everything I can to make it okay Rio: better than okay Buster: I won't lose you again, will I? Rio: No Rio: we can't go back Rio: it's out there now and that's a good thing because we can't hide from it Rio: we have to stick together Buster: Alright Buster: Good Rio: You're gonna be so good, baby, I know it Buster: I'll prove it to you Buster: I don't care what I said about not Rio: I believe in you, Buster Buster: Nobody else has ever told me that before Rio: They should Rio: and I mean it Rio: I've always known you're good Rio: and you're going to be even better Buster: I miss you so fucking much Rio: I feel it too Buster: It's not just today either, you know Buster: It's all the time Buster: You were the best friend I ever had Buster: You are Rio: We can be best friends again Buster: Yeah Buster: I'm not gonna fuck it up from now Rio: Me either Rio: I don't wanna waste time missing you for the wrong reasons Rio: I can deal with missing you for this, when I know I'm gonna still be able to talk to you and be with you at the end of it Rio: but that other bullshit is over now, I can't Buster: Like you said, there's no going back Buster: It's forward, no matter what Buster: Like it or not Buster: But I swear you will Buster: 'Cause I won't hurt you ever again Rio: I get it, why you did what you did Rio: why I did it too, we had to Rio: we had to see if it would go away Rio: but it never did Buster: I'm not sorry that it wouldn't Rio: Obviously Rio: I really fucking like you, yeah Buster: I mean, no cunt's ever gonna change my mind, whatever they say or they think Buster: You're perfect, Rio Buster: That's what I think Rio: You're gonna make me cry on this bus Rio: I'm so glad I know you Rio: and if I didn't, I would find a way Rio: because you're different Rio: like you said, me and you, we're on our own level Buster: Don't cry Buster: Not when I'm not there to wipe the tears away, like Rio: I'll be brave Buster: I know Buster: You're properly brave, and not just for a girl either Rio: You're cute Buster: Remember how annoyed I used to be whenever you called me cute Rio: Yeah Rio: you gonna let me now then 😏 Buster: I'm not gonna stop you Buster: Annoyed ain't the word any more Rio: Good Rio: 'cos that's the least of the compliments I wanna give you, honestly Buster: Yeah? Rio: Yep Rio: Don't wanna spoil you though, save some for later Buster: Why not? I wanna spoil you Rio: You always have Buster: Do you want some duty free, like? Rio: I don't need anything Buster: Pretty sure I said want, babe Rio: I want you to get something that makes you think of me Buster: That'll be easy then Rio: Yeah? Buster: You know I think about you all the time Rio: I do now Buster: Come on, you did Rio: I didn't know, I had an educated guess though Rio: I like it when you say it more than just wondering Buster: You can ask me anything you've ever wanted to know Buster: I like talking to you Rio: You're my favourite person to talk to Buster: Good Rio: I think a plane to see you is actually quicker than this bus Buster: It is Buster: You'll see Rio: Do you think I can come one weekend Rio: I don't wanna wait 'til the next holiday Buster: Fuck waiting til Easter Buster: You're coming as soon as we can talk our parents into it Rio: Definitely Rio: shouldn't be that hard Rio: we'll think of something Buster: 'Course Buster: Like you said, I just need to behave Buster: And your parents are pushovers Rio: Pretty much Rio: its just Nance I'm worried about Buster: I'm about to do my homework in full view so if you wanna talk to her, it's a good time to start Rio: I don't know how to do this Rio: long term, its easier if people think we're friends again, right Rio: or at least on better terms Rio: she's gonna be hardest to convince Buster: You could tell her you were at the party Buster: Getting wasted together is a bonding activity in this fam Buster: Or if you don't wanna be complicit in an action that fucked her holiday, use the wedding instead Buster: Say we've been talking since then, it ain't even a lie Rio: It might help, actually Rio: if I take some of that off you Rio: not that you're gonna be besties but it'll work in our favour if it was my party, which it was Buster: I can handle it, you don't need to worry about me Buster: Do what works for you Rio: I know you can Rio: I just reckon its more understandable than a complete 180 Rio: I was helping slag you off a bit with her, like Buster: What did you say about me? 😏 Rio: I don't even know Rio: she was on one, I didn't disagree Rio: just that you're a prick blah blah blah Buster: You're cute Rio: Really Rio: fine, I won't be nice to you, if that's what you like Buster: Yeah you will Buster: You can't help it Rio: You're right but don't be annoying about it 😏 Buster: Well maybe I can't help it Rio: Being annoying Rio: Maybe, babe Buster: Behave, you're not meant to agree with me Rio: 😂 Rio: It's okay, I still like you Buster: I still like you too Buster: I definitely can't help that Rio: Good Rio: I don't want you to stop Buster: I won't Buster: And I don't wanna either Rio: Promise Buster: Yeah I do Buster: On whatever you want me to swear on Rio: I'll think Rio: but I trust you anyway Buster: You can Buster: I didn't drop you and I never will, obviously Rio: and you always stick to your word Rio: with dares and most things Rio: so I do Buster: With everything Buster: And I'd do anything for you, dare or not Rio: Did I mention I miss you already Buster: Yeah but the more you do, the quicker my homework gets done so I can actually do something about it Rio: [sends voice memo saying it loads 'cos cute nerd] Buster: [sends a pic of his finished homework cos likewise] Rio: It's rude how smart you are, honestly Rio: but can't be mad about it right now Buster: It's rude how smart and beautiful and funny and caring you are Rio: shh 😳 Buster: No Buster: [a voice memo full of compliments so I hope you've left the kitchen or wherever you were doing that homework in full view lol] Rio: [gotta be a bit less obvious than that kids lol] Rio: Why are you so nice to me Buster: 'Cause you deserve it Rio: you do too Buster: You've always been nice to me Buster: Even saved my life after all that brandy, right? Rio: It felt that scary at the time, like Rio: drama 👑 and 👸 Buster: Yeah Buster: I couldn't feel it til later, like Buster: But Rio: We've done some pretty stupid stuff yeah Buster: More than our fair share, I reckon Buster: And we'll obviously do loads more Rio: That works for me Buster: London's full of stupid shit Buster: You'll love it Rio: Do you Rio: apart from the cunts Buster: It's less boring than Cambs Buster: Nothing ever happened there Rio: You can take me to all the cool places Buster: Before Nance tries to drag you to all the shit ones Rio: 😏 Rio: Shame I don't have any nerdy gay friends to distract her with.. Rio: I'll have to get on that too Buster: You could bring Junior Buster: It'd be like when we were kids Rio: Not exactly what I meant but I could Rio: though idk if adding to the amount of people we have to avoid is the right idea either Buster: I know what you meant but pimping my sister out isn't the right one either Rio: 🙄 don't make it sound so sordid Rio: but it isn't, she's so shy, bless her Buster: She ain't shy, she just needs to be around the right people Rio: She is quite shy Rio: it's not a bad thing strictly Buster: Whatever Rio: Its not fair, is it Buster: What? Rio: That we live in different countries Buster: We won't always Buster: When we're older we can go where we want Rio: We should Rio: there's so many places I wanna go Buster: Then we will Rio: There's so much I wanna do with you Buster: I want you there whatever I'm doing Buster: We should be together all the time Buster: So much of it has already been wasted Rio: Then I will be Rio: simple as Rio: nothing or no one can get in our way Buster: I have a fight [insert a weekend date for it that's soon] can you come to London then? Rio: I'll ask my parents soon as they're back Rio: but I don't see why not Buster: Okay Rio: I don't know if I wanna see you get hurt Rio: but I'll still cheer you on Buster: You won't see that Buster: I don't get hurt Rio: Don't Buster: Don't worry Buster: There's nobody as good as me Rio: I know Buster: You can watch me play football instead, if you want Rio: No, I wanna Rio: I can just watch you with boxing Buster: Alright Rio: I mean, I'd come to both Buster: It's a standing invitation, like Buster: For as long as I'm doing both Rio: I'll support you in anything, you know that Rio: long as it can just be me and you after, like Buster: It can always be just me and you Buster: Like you said, nothing and nobody's getting in the way Buster: And nothing or nobody's more important to me Rio: Buster Rio: You're incredible Rio: perfect Buster: You are Rio: you Buster: Tell me when you're back home Buster: I'll call you Rio: you could call now Rio: I don't mind Rio: just wanna hear your voice Buster: [obvs does]
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Jimmy & Janis
Jimmy: [later but still the same night clearly] Jimmy: Turn your location on, I need my jacket back Janis: fuck off, no you don't Jimmy: I wouldn't be chatting to you if I didn't Janis: it can wait Jimmy: it's freezing Jimmy: don't be a dickhead Janis: so cold you need two jackets now Jimmy: unless you're offering to hug it out Janis: as much as I want you to suffer Janis: has your sister not put a key through for you Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: are you gonna tell me where you are or what? Janis: I'd rather come to you Jimmy: go on then Janis: Where are you then Jimmy: [sends his location but lbr he's just walking] Janis: alright Janis: be there in a few Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you should go to the 24 hour tescos Janis: kill some time Jimmy: subtle Jimmy: what do you need? Janis: nothing, you idiot Janis: it's a tip Janis: 24 hour gyms are better but you'll need a membership usually Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I'll funnel my hard earned tips into that next time my dad decides to be a massive knobhead Janis: some of them ain't that pricey, one near the CG actually Jimmy: alright rich girl, I'm gonna stop you there Janis: it's like a fiver a month Janis: one pack of cigarettes less, not even Jimmy: you're not my real girlfriend, no need to have a chat about how I spend and save Janis: I'm giving you solutions Jimmy: give me my jacket Jimmy: nowt else Janis: free speech, init Janis: you dickhead Jimmy: you told me to stop talking to you a bit ago Janis: so Jimmy: so now you've got loads to say? Janis: I've always had plenty to say Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: yeah Janis: sums your contribution up Jimmy: leave it out Janis: make me Jimmy: stop flirting with me Jimmy: death's already having a go standing here Janis: you wish Janis: actually so dramatic Jimmy: 💀😍💀 Janis: cute Jimmy: 💕 Janis: do you want a place to stay Jimmy: do you have any decent ideas? Janis: go to mine, I ain't gonna be there Janis: no one will be up Jimmy: Mia might Jimmy: evil never sleeps Janis: I don't think she's actually a rapist, like Janis: you'll be safe Jimmy: you're alright Janis: alright Janis: you got a shed Janis: sleep in that Jimmy: 😂 Janis: what Jimmy: just trying to picture your posh garden summer house, rich girl Jimmy: hang on Janis: yeah Janis: you've got no clue Jimmy: weren't searching for any Janis: then stop chatting shit Jimmy: why? Jimmy: you won't Janis: I've got enough people assuming things wrong Janis: I don't need you Janis: and I ain't assumed shit about you Jimmy: 🎻💔🎻 Janis: you're such a fucking Janis: just shut up, I'm nearly there Jimmy: nah, go on Jimmy: say how you really feel Janis: why Jimmy: why not? Jimmy: plenty on the tip of your tongue so you reckon Janis: so you can sit there and chat shit back Janis: yeah, no thanks Jimmy: it ain't shit just 'cause it ain't what you want me to say back Janis: nah, it's shit by your own admittance Janis: literally just said it Jimmy: now you're listening Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I've been listening Janis: what do you want Jimmy: when? Janis: when haven't I Janis: what are you talking about, go on Jimmy: don't end it like that, I'm not getting cheated on again Janis: I ain't doing anything tonight Jimmy: not what I asked or said Janis: fine Janis: I'll just look like the dick then yeah Jimmy: put it on me Jimmy: I'm too #highkey or whatever Janis: how is that better Janis: genuinely Jimmy: how is it better for me or how is it better for you? what's your question? Janis: for you Jimmy: how is it better than going through that shit again? Really? Janis: whether I cheat on you or dump you for being too nice, you're getting the same reaction regardless Janis: you wanna be the one who cheats but then I lose Janis: we've fucked it, best is we do it amicably and then we both lose, there's no way for us to both win and why should I let you Jimmy: I don't care about winning Janis: I can't promise you any outcome where they leave you alone Janis: that's the whole reason we were doing this Jimmy: I haven't lost my memory, like Janis: well I don't know what you want from me Jimmy: I got that Janis: fucking hell Jimmy: just Janis: yeah Jimmy: leave it Jimmy: as you said, we've fucked it, we've gotta carry on Janis: we'll have to stop it eventually Jimmy: weren't planning on marrying you, Jodie Jimmy: not part of the deal Janis: don't be stupid Janis: you'll have to deal eventually, is what I'm saying Janis: we will, whatever Jimmy: we'll do a fake break up when we've planned it out, not when what you say goes 'cause you're fuming Janis: excuse you no Janis: it was you who fucking said it Jimmy: I said I don't want this Jimmy: I don't Janis: well you'll have to deal won't you Janis: decide what you want less Jimmy: you're so Janis: yeah, you hate mee Janis: whatever Jimmy: your ultimate kink that Janis: if it was I'd want you around Jimmy: who's walking to who? Janis: oh my god Janis: I don't need you freezing to death Janis: or getting lost, again Jimmy: stop pissing about then Jimmy: come here Janis: you've got some fucking nerve Jimmy: 🏆💪 Janis: and you aren't funny Jimmy: not tonight Janis: don't write cheques you can't cash Janis: unnecessary Jimmy: I carry cash, it's you who don't Janis: see where trying to pay me gets you Janis: [showing up and throwing that jacket at him] Jimmy: [put your jacket on boy and shut your mouth] Janis: ['anything else?' not looking at him] Jimmy: [when you're just looking at her and almost doing a cry cos that's the life you're living] Janis: ['are you sure-' not finishing that 'cos so many possibilities] Jimmy: [just gotta shake your head cos you're not sure about anything are you, big part of the problem here] Janis: [nods like yeah, 'look, we don't need to be mates but I ain't got any interest in hating you, alright? pointless so just, you know'] Jimmy: [take two of trying to give her a bottle, be less of a dick this time boy] Janis: [takes it 'cos as close to a peace offering as we're getting rn and does cheers motion as she takes a swig] Jimmy: [sitting on this random curb so casually I always had to do that if I was out playing] Janis: [sitting down too a little ways away] Jimmy: [having a moment with himself like don't cry, Katie Fitch style] Janis: [when you gently go for the jacket pocket and get out 🚬 and light it for him] Jimmy: [when you shouldn't look at her cos that's so nice - too nice lbr- but you do look at her cos she's right there and you can't not] Janis: [when you look back and lean in but then you gotta lean back like no 'cos you think that's not what he wants and you're trying to be a friend not friend and ugh] Jimmy: [trying not to look 💔 like this isn't your own fault, gdi Jimothy] Janis: ['it's okay' when you just want to be comforting even though it really isn't and you're like why did I say that] Jimmy: [when you laugh cos no its not but it's also not funny and that ain't helpful so well done, oh these two] Janis: [kicks him like you know what I mean, shh, this is weird we both know it 'okay, well, I'm sorry your dad's a dick, yeah?'] Jimmy: [nudges her like oi but it's too soft to really be that and we all know it 'he ain't sorry, why should you be?'] Janis: ['cos I'm dead nice, obviously' 😏 but shrugging like] Jimmy: [lols more genuinely] Janis: ['charming' but not actually mad] Jimmy: [putting an arm around her cos she's literally in a t-shirt now like don't die babe] Janis: [the nip situation would be outta control lmao fold your arms girl] Jimmy: [at least pretend that's not a thing boy, least you can do] Janis: ['It ain't a summer house, it's a barn but it is somewhere you can crash, it's converted, there's sofas and shit' 'cos not giving up] Jimmy: [gives her his oh we're still on this kinda look but also not mad cos when does anyone give this much of a fuck about him] Janis: ['Please'] Jimmy: ['Bus takes an age if it's even running early as I need to be on shift. It ain't gonna work' but she said please so obvs you're thinking about it and looking at her like] Janis: [pouting but actually so on the low 'cos you know that's fair and he probably doesn't want one of cali or the older sibs driving him so] Jimmy: ['help me get into mine if you've gotta do owt' cos lbr it wouldn't be hard there's probably a bathroom window open and a drainpipe/roof situation and such a #mood cos she's such an athlete so] Janis: 'I dunno, guardog is pretty fierce' ] Jimmy: [a real lol 'if you ain't up for the challenge, you ain't' gets up like well bye then but is 😏 and pulls her up on her feet too a literal second later anyway] Janis: [a faux-offended face like how dare you 'cos 'Course I am!' but then grins like let's go] Jimmy: [shrugs the jacket off and gives it to her like your turn babe cos they share everything it's facts 'here, you're gonna make me fall to my death if you don't cover up' because just can't ignore the nip situation like a gentleman can you lad] Janis: ['Knew the jacket was a blatant coverup but wouldn't have necessarily guessed you wanted me to break and enter for you' shakes head like honestly tut-tut but still not mad, even when she hits him like oi it ain't my fault I had to go dramatically stand in the rain 'I reckon I'll go in, find the keys then let you in the door, all offense meant to your... prowess' 😉] Jimmy: [gives her a look like well gotta keep you guessing and it's so flirty SOS but then pulls the hood up over her head playfully, messing her hair up, like oi don't be rude and so much 😏 goodbye] Janis: ['stop flirting with me' but we all know that means don't ever stop] Jimmy: ['or what?' literally eye fucking rn calm down] Janis: ['you know what'] Jimmy: [be more up in her everything at this moment jfc I can't with you sir don't do this to me] Janis: ['just, if it's gonna be-' when you can't do words] Jimmy: ['I just-' cos same but boy you gotta communicate I s2g I hate you] Janis: ['we don't have to do this tonight, now, yeah? none of it, like, there's time'] Jimmy: [when you can breathe because she really let you off the hook there so you gently drag her off towards your house like come on] Janis: [get it lads] Jimmy: [break in of the century, but we know it's gonna play out how she said cos lbr he's not pulling his weight here] Jimmy: [like he'd try and go up the drainpipe and slip and she'd be like um no boy down you get] Janis: [god bless boy, when you just in the doorway afterwards like all 👍?] Jimmy: [gotta love a sleepy Twix before she goes cray though cos heard 'em way to cockblock this bonding moment pup] Janis: [don't give 'em away traitor pup shh Jimmy: [giving her treats like behave thank you] Janis: [all whispering obvs 'cos not drunk af this time 'you should get another key cut he don't know about'] Jimmy: [when you can't hide how good of an idea you think that is cos tell your face and you were already impressed by her break in antics and we're dangerously close to 😍] Janis: [when you ain't even smug just smiling like a nerd 'cos you already know his dad ain't shit] Jimmy: [just in the kitchen from when you had to bribe Twix opening the fridge with a flourish like see anything you like cos will literally give her anything so she won't leave yet] Janis: [say by some miracle there's a slice of pizza left so she grabs that] Jimmy: [He's just making tea cos northern] Janis: [sneaking peeks honey] Jimmy: [he ain't asked her if she wants one he's just doing it, bit rude when you don't know if she likes tea never mind how] Janis: ['milk, 2 sugars' 😏] Jimmy: [does a OTT dramatic gasp like a nerd cos we gonna say they take their tea the same for the feels '#twinning, Gracie will be delighted'] Janis: [does a little lol, 'yeah, 'specially 'cos she don't drink a tea unless it promises to fix her skin and her love life for her, and tastes like shit, like'] Jimmy: [just grinning 'No dairy, like ever, OMG, I know' crossing his heart with an eye roll before carrying the tea to the lounge] Janis: [getting comfy on the sofa like bitch you were leaving lmao your resolve 'you should just give her full fat, she'd never notice, honestly'] Jimmy: [laughs evilly but quietly cos don't wake peeps up and mimes writing it down but then you know he's also getting comfy closer to her than he needs to be as per] Janis: ['puts hands up like soz 'you're off the clock, I remember'] Jimmy: [mimes looking at his watch and sighs dramatically like only for a bit but ain't that devvo cos got his bae back] Janis: ['should've put this in a to-go, like'] Jimmy: [nudges her like where do you are like I ain't even got #aesthetic mugs for insta 'pay up and you can have it prepped or served any way you want'] Janis: ['hot' 😂] Jimmy: [sips tea like he's doing a temp check and 👍] Janis: [just looks at him like nerd alert] Jimmy: [gets up, gets a pack of biscuits and throws them at her but gently cos again shh please boy] Janis: ['#whenbaespoilsyou'] Jimmy: [blows a kiss at her cos nerd] Janis: [catch it 'cos sporty] Jimmy: ['such an athlete, babe'] Janis: [stretching back like 'you know it'] Jimmy: [shamelessly looking at her body cos that top is cropped af before you even move thank you bye] Janis: [always hitting with a 'what?' but being 😏 'cos you know] Jimmy: [always giving it back like you don't know exactly what you're doing okay then] Janis: [just come casual tension but you're about it] Jimmy: [nearly spilling that tea actually cos all your attention is on the bae, the fucking eye contact forever damn] Janis: [sipping with purpose beech] Jimmy: [when your phone goes off to break the unbearable tension for a sec but it's just the fans as usual so you can look together and get even closer to her like look] Janis: ['can't break their hearts just yet, like, they ain't ready'] Jimmy: ['none of the lads must've caught your party mood from a decent enough angle or that'd be up doing it for us'] Janis: [🙄 and pushes him like shut up] Jimmy: ['its alright I've had more breakups and make ups than I've had girlfriends, must be something about me 😏'] Janis: [lols 'you reckon'] Jimmy: [throws a pillow at her like don't lol at my misfortune but is clearly also amused 'try and fake some sympathy, girl, damn'] Janis: [clutches her heart dramatically] Jimmy: [shakes his head like she's such a dickhead but smiling cos she's also a cute nerd] Janis: ['this-' gestures to the tea '-ain't strong enough to swap war stories, boy'] Jimmy: ['subtle move, pisshead' gestures toward the kitchen 'go on and raid Ian's supply but his broken heart'll be on your head, like'] Janis: [gets up and shrugs 'least I didn't break his windows'] Jimmy: [shrugs back like fair point] Janis: [picks a bottle that's fairly full but not completely 'cos least obvious and she's not actually that arsed but takes a swig walking back in] Jimmy: [control your heart eyes and swooning boy we all know its a #mood] Janis: [offers the bottle to him but doesn't sit, 'it'll help you sleep, early start and everything'] Jimmy: [takes it and takes a bigger swig than her because everything's a challenge and passes it back] Janis: [raises her brows at him but obviously can never back down from a challenge] Jimmy: ['coming in?' meaning work tomorrow obvs] Janis: [when you act like you're thinking about it for much longer than you actually are 'probably, be a bit of a bad review if I'm not dying to see you the morning after, like'] Jimmy: ['could be incapable of walking, your nan got a zimmer you can borrow for a bit?'] Janis: [when you have to snort 'cos you have to hold in a louder laugh more] Jimmy: ['take that as a nah, fit is she? Gotta get it from somewhere, eh?'] Janis: ['She's only 62, so yeah, could probably take you on' 😏] Jimmy: ['bring her in for a cuppa, I'll earn a decent tip, no bother' 😉] Janis: ['ugh, you and your type'] Jimmy: ['paying customers, yeah, really turn me on when they hand me them couple of extra euros they do'] Janis: ['you're in the wrong job then' and shakes her head 'cos thinking 'bout Rio, shade] Jimmy: ['in it for the art form though, obvs' thinking about that hipster latte foam] Janis: [''course, Pete's artistry is limited to bass only, like' Jimmy: ['I can't live if I can't express myself creatively, the need lends itself to being more than a one trick pony, so burdened me' gets Pete's page up and is having a scroll and showing her things cos he weren't at the party obvs] Janis: [😏 'You are SO in love with him'] Jimmy: ['pick your own jaw off the floor and it might hit harder, mate'] Janis: ['please, I play it SO cool'] Jimmy: ['where and when?'] Janis: ['I'm pretty sure he don't know I exist so check and mate, mate'] Jimmy: ['Don't take your hand off that piece yet, Jill, 'cause here's me calling bollocks. He's mentioned you to me'] Janis: ['OMG, what did he say?!' in a scary good Grace impression, but quieter please; 'also you better not have told him my name's Jill, even worse than my actual'] Jimmy: [in a accurate Pete impression 'that girl's so... dude, your girl's really...' back to Jim voice 'wouldn't you LOVE to know, Juliet' shows her his phone where that's her name cos fave of the nicknames duh] Janis: [when you're loling at the impression but lowkey 😍 at the nickname 'cos it's shamelessly cute] Jimmy: ['I wanna be the face of that band but I ain't got the voice. You?'] Janis: [shakes head and pulls face like god no 'my mother's already tried to make us a racially ambiguous version of the Nolans, but she obviously ain't pushy enough, where's Joe Jackson when you need him, eh?'] Jimmy: [lols like that's us fucked then 'starving artist and muse it is then, baby' snaps a pic of her to make the point] Janis: [when you try and get the phone outta his hands 'cos never enough playfighting] Jimmy: [when of course you end up on top of her on the sofa like well now this is a moment RIP] Janis: [when you just go for it 'cos you can't not but then you pull back like fuck] Jimmy: [when you then have to go for it cos you didn't wanna stop and that's all you're thinking about] Janis: [back at it again on this sofa] Jimmy: [so into it, god only knows how we're stopping them rn] Janis: [Twix run bitch run] Jimmy: [barking cos are they playing or are they fighting OH PUP DO NOT WAKE THIS FAM] Janis: [well that's that ruined thanks babe, getting up so fast like 'I'll go'] Jimmy: [when you want her to stay but Bobby appears like oh hey did anyone order an even bigger cockblock so you have to be in big brother mode cos he's always lowkey scared/upset by life in general] Janis: [when you stay long enough to not freak him like who was that but then you peace so he can deal in private] Jimmy: [I hope she's got the jacket again so she don't freeze to death] Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: is he back to bed and her in the doghouse, like Jimmy: 🐶🔪🔪 say goodbye to your little mate 💔 Janis: harsh Janis: poor bobby Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: [sends a pic of Twix like a ransom photo but the newspaper be in her mouth cos nerds] Janis: 😱 Janis: I'll give you whatever you want Jimmy: anything I want? Janis: That's what I said Jimmy: [sends her a pic of Bobby and Twix both asleep on him like okay she's safe] Janis: 💕 Jimmy: [saying that he misses her and flirting on the socials so that I can] Janis: Smart thinking Janis: keep up appearances, make it look like it ain't a hostage situation Jimmy: not thick, northern Janis: like I said, impressed Jimmy: don't you wanna save your flirting for the feeds? Janis: This isn't flirting Jimmy: Nah? Janis: Nah Janis: I can do much much better than fake me Janis: obviously Jimmy: more #goals than this?! gotta call bollocks Jimmy: 🏆🏆🏆🏆 Janis: sure, as far as everyone knows, we're the it couple of the moment Jimmy: 💘 Janis: as long as all dogs and children are safe Janis: let you get a few hours, like Jimmy: you can't Jimmy: you said anything I want Janis: Well have you decided Jimmy: I'm thinking Jimmy: stick around Janis: alright Janis: I'm still walking anyway Jimmy: where to? Janis: my nan and granddads Janis: cba to go home Jimmy: you could always walk back Jimmy: know your way in Janis: look like you've got your hands full Jimmy: 💪🏆 me Jimmy: can't be giving it out like you don't wanna climb through my bedroom window, girl Jimmy: balcony or nah Janis: better change names with me, boy Janis: rose by any other name and all that Jimmy: suits you better, can't help that Janis: hmm Janis: gotta think of a name for you Janis: you don't own nicknames, like Jimmy: what are you on about? it's the name your parents gave you weren't it? Janis: 😏 Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: charming you are 💕 Janis: not our story Janis: cinderella would be hard to pull off, even now you've left the north Jimmy: if it could happen anywhere, it'd be the CG Jimmy: picking the ugliest out of your sister's squad though, not easy Jimmy: Mia's 🥇 duh but then who? Jimmy: might be the tall one, might be her 💀 clone Janis: 🤔 Janis: my votes for BFG Janis: 💀💀 twin too hard, the disparity is great for comedic effect Jimmy: where's your #tallgirlsolidarity babe? OMG Janis: fine, go be friends with a leprechaun Jimmy: such a friend kink you Jimmy: trying to get me invited to a sleepover or what? Janis: not at my house, thanks Janis: if you have an orgy with them we're no longer besties Jimmy: I told you before, if I wanted that it would've already happened Janis: Gross Janis: they have to have some boundaries Janis: obvs all go to the bathroom together to have a vom sesh but you know Jimmy: it's like a cult Jimmy: if they don't all fuck and they're only doing the death pact bit 💔 Janis: there's no way the 💀 ones can exert the energy and the rest wouldn't wanna get their kit off 'cos they'd get fat-shamed so Janis: unlucky Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: their nails an' all that's a 🌈🚫 Jimmy: be like 🔪🔪 Janis: 🤢 Janis: too far Jimmy: soz my dear Janis: 😒 Jimmy: come on, be my mate again Jimmy: pretty please with 🍒s on Janis: you mean it Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: you doing that behind your back like you're lying Janis: I'm suspicious Jimmy: come find out Jimmy: can't give up all my secrets to you Janis: I shouldn't Janis: might wake your dad up next time Jimmy: nowt wakes him Jimmy: garage walls are thicker than his head Janis: should do you a favour and not accept that challenge, shouldn't I Jimmy: I get it, was just a fluke and you can't break in again, yeah? Janis: please Janis: not my first rodeo Janis: and you made it so easy Jimmy: sounds fake, babe Janis: 😡 Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: yeah, you just want me to come back so you can be so impressed again Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: meant to be giving me what I want Janis: only the once Janis: not good for life, use it wisely Jimmy: 👍 Janis: sooooooo Janis: am I coming or what Jimmy: do you wanna come or do you just want me to use that to make you so it's gone? Janis: 😑 Janis: hadn't thought it through that much, tbh Janis: it's your wish, I ain't interfering Jimmy: if I want you to come and keep that in my back pocket for later is that 1 favour or 2? Janis: Hmm Janis: alright Janis: I'll come and I still owe you Jimmy: should I unlock the door or let you show off? Janis: Probably just let me in Janis: I don't need it and I've got visions of the kid seeing me and 😱💀👻 now so Jimmy: and I don't need to be spending my tips getting him therapy Jimmy: good shout Jimmy: so considerate you Janis: you know Janis: and you're welcome Jimmy: might not be the shittiest mate to have Janis: 👂 Janis: sorry, can you repeat that Jimmy: I could Jimmy: but will I Janis: awh come on 😏 Jimmy: alright, shut up Jimmy: I don't hate the idea, do I Janis: you're not a total idiot so Janis: 'course you don;t Jimmy: Stop complimenting me Jimmy: I'm gonna reckon your phone got snatched off you in a bit Jimmy: 🔪💀👻 Janis: Was just a means to compliment myself more, don't worry Jimmy: alright, fuck that, this is deffo you Janis: mhmm Janis: [does extra ass socials like people need to know she's going back] Janis: who else but your fake gf Jimmy: 💕😍💘 Jimmy: [replies that are as extra but we know there's realness underneath] Jimmy: [OMG the fire sexts can be born this day! cos remember when] Janis: [yasss] Janis: did you really just Jimmy: what? Janis: 😳 Jimmy: you reckon you're the only one with impressive skills? Janis: obviously not Janis: do you want everyone on your dick more though 'cos Jimmy: they ain't gonna leave me alone Jimmy: that dream's 💀💀💀 Janis: 💔 Janis: not to victim blame you but Janis: only got yourself to blame Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: and you Jimmy: can't help it if you're the best fake girlfriend I've ever had, can I? Janis: Yeah I'm so inspiring Janis: a muse, you could say Jimmy: a 🥇 muse baby Jimmy: get it right Jimmy: and send that tweet Janis: [does] Janis: 💕 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: Come out and 🚬? Jimmy: [does but let's say he hasn't put his hoodie back on yet cos was being snuggled a bit ago so we can fully appreciate the white tee moment] Janis: [you appreciate that girl, sat on his front step like hey] Jimmy: [Getting on there as well cos always gotta sit so close 5ever] Janis: [for warmth this time sure, when it's not been that long so you don't know if you're meant to pretend the makeout didn't happen but you can't anyway so] Jimmy: [and so you can share a smoke cos god forbid you just don't have your own you coupley bastards] Janis: [sharing is caring boo] Jimmy: [it means he smokes less so i'm about it as I am about their comfortable silences] Janis: [honestly, not even hello] Jimmy: [living for it, picture him on his phone cos peeps are losing it over their posts, but with her so not being an antisocial dick] Janis: [just loling and taking the piss how they do 'so, how often are you sexting to be that good?'] Jimmy: [shrugs cos we both know he ain't done it for ages but ain't gonna say that 'like a 6 that were'] Janis: [nods, 'don't wanna give 'em everything right away, like'] Jimmy: ['they can't handle what we've already shown 'em, if I was going for it with a full 10 I'd kill your nan and we both know she's healthier than your horse'] Janis: [pushes him 'stop slagging my nan and imaginary horse, so rude'] Jimmy: ['I'm complimenting your nan and ain't about to stop, well in, me. You're only here 'cause she was asleep, like'] Janis: [PAHs, 'you ain't met her, boy; trust, you won't be getting no tips'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like challenge accepted 😏 but we're all amused af] Janis: [truly 'cos we all know what happened that time Tess showed lmao] Jimmy: [when you lowkey snuggling the bae tho cos its cold but also you want to] Janis: [rubbing his arms like he did] Jimmy: [just giving her heart eyes casually] Janis: ['wanna go in?' 'cos you're so concerned u caring hoe] Jimmy: [when you're #conflicted because you're alone out here and there's nobody cockblocking you but it's not comfortable so of course you ask her if she wants to cos always a question answered with a question] Janis: [just looking at his lips in response shameless] Jimmy: [when you're kissing her before you've even closed the door behind you cos also shameless] Janis: [get it kids] Jimmy: [use that front door to your advantage when you finally shut it but shh] Janis: [seriously shh even though you obvs don't wanna] Jimmy: [when you think you hear something so you stop for long enough to move, get back in that living room kids] Janis: [ah trusty sofa hello] Jimmy: [the mems on this sofa already, speaking of get on his lap girl cos that's a thing always and has to start somewhere] Janis: [a moment] Jimmy: [at least if you wanna be kissing constantly it'll keep you quiet cos we know he ain't usually living that life, we see you, mr no chill] Janis: ['You're a good kisser' 'cos you ain't told him that before now obvs] Jimmy: [when you can't help smiling genuinely cos nobody's told you that before and you weren't expecting it and so cute so even though you should say it back cos true you're just like 🙊] Janis: [kiss that smile] Jimmy: [get your hands in her hair boy cos you love being soft] Janis: [when you're just enjoying how all this feels] Jimmy: [you can tell she's into it so just touching and soft kisses everywhere cos there's so much bare skin to play with thanks to this outfit you can just take your time] Janis: [when you're trying so hard to keep quiet 'cos it's obvs not been like this before in any sense] Jimmy: [gotta give the nips some attention cos they've been the centre of attention all night lbr so soz girl for making quietness even harder for you but not that soz] Janis: [when all the squirming she's doing gonna feel real good for you boy] Jimmy: [everybody winning rn] Janis: ['fuck!' 'cos yeah] Jimmy: [and now everything's a little less soft because all the encouragement you need to go harder at what you're doing] Janis: [when you're just moving your hands down from around his neck 'til they're making their way under his waistband] Jimmy: [his turn to say fuck quietly but with feeling] Janis: [😏] Jimmy: [kiss that smug face boy so you shhh] Janis: [putting your finger to his lips like shh but you loling 'cos he's so cute] Jimmy: [deciding to make this touching mutual so the struggle to be quiet is too, little do you know yet lad she's a pro at keeping things hush unlike you] Janis: [can't quiet your face though even if you are trying to hide it like] Jimmy: [his turn to be like 😏] Janis: [going harder like shut up] Jimmy: [going harder cos she is and everything's a competition forever] Janis: [tryna move away 'cos that bitch] Jimmy: [use your strength soft boy I believe in you] Janis: ['boy'] Jimmy: ['what?' cos I simply must] Janis: [making eye contact and giving the LOOK to end all as you move back but closer] Jimmy: [keeping that eye contact going as you try not to be killed by the look and her everything atm] Janis: ['I've wanted to do this properly for so long' point out the obvious and not really that long but I'll allow it highkey ass] Jimmy: ['how long?' cos validate this high key needy boy] Janis: ['Since we started fake doing this, I told you, you're a good kisser'] Jimmy: ['I can top that, girl, I picked you 'cause I wanted to find out if you were' cos where's the lie] Janis: [pouts like she's fuming she's lost 'could probably call that false pretenses, you know' 😏] Jimmy: [the pouty lip bite 5eva bye cos gotta shut her up obvs haha] Janis: [#intoit Jimmy: [likewise] Janis: [when your phones are still blatantly going off and you're ignoring that shit] Jimmy: [priorities kids sod looking at your phone when you can be looking at the bae] Janis: [real better than the faaaaake] Jimmy: [you know it] Janis: [is she staying or going after like] Jimmy: [I vote she should stay then she can come to work with him when he opens up cos what a #mood the CG alone together for a bit] Janis: [wid it, no running hoe] Jimmy: [he ain't letting her leg it]
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Rio & Buster
Rio: This flight is long Rio: longer 'cos I don't wanna be on it 😒 Buster: Don't, I'm dreading flying back Rio: Can't stay there forever Rio: Unless you ask for that transfer too Rio: only fair Buster: We both could Rio: I really would have to buy my way in Rio: maybe my parents are susceptible to that kind of bribery, like you WANT me back in school, yeah Buster: You're forgetting I know how smart you are, babe Buster: They'd be lucky to have you, even though you're the most distracting Rio: 😏 Rio: Yeah, no way you'd be allowed when your grades mysteriously plummet Buster: Though I've just discovered that catching up on my work actually takes much less time if I ignore all the girls that are offering to help me right now Buster: So there's that Rio: Who'd have known, eh Rio: better than me, I don't even want to think about work or any of it yet Buster: I have to, 10 days is a long time, even though it didn't feel like long enough at all Rio: I know Rio: You'll do it though Buster: I've already done loads Buster: I started as soon as you left Rio: 🤓 Rio: but seriously Rio: well done, baby Buster: If I thought about you I knew I wouldn't be able to stop Buster: You were right when you said it'd be worse after Rio: I know that too Rio: feel that too Buster: At least if we were both thick we could pretend we ain't done the maths on how long it is Buster: The curse of perfection, like Rio: Truly Rio: we've both waited longer Rio: just gotta think how good waiting made it, yeah Buster: Yeah Buster: Not that I should be thinking about that at this exact moment Rio: Sorry Rio: having trouble thinking about anything else still Buster: Me too Rio: Headfuck Rio: nowhere near as fun Buster: Fun not being the word Rio: not even close to good enough but as I said Rio: preoccupied still Buster: You've got more privacy in first class than I do here right now Buster: Use it Rio: But Rio: you've spoilt me Rio: I want you Buster: But I wanna watch you Buster: I miss you Rio: You know how to break my resolve but what happened to yours Buster: I reckon I'm due a break Buster: You know I like to play as hard as I work Rio: Then let's play Buster: I'd play with you until you were begging me not to & the pilot had heard enough to risk crashing the plane Rio: You know I like danger Rio: but I'm feeling like begging for more, not less right now Buster: Go on then Buster: Convince me Rio: [pic on the floor 'cos that first-class legroom honey] Buster: Maybe you can have some more Rio: Only maybe Rio: okay, you need some more first too Rio: hold on Buster: Are you sure keeping me waiting is the best idea? Rio: It was that or give the poor air hostess a show she didn't ask for whilst she was topping up my drink Rio: [audio this time] Buster: She might have liked it Buster: You are good Rio: Would you? Rio: Enough marks I'm never forgetting who I belong to Buster: Is she hot? Rio: Yeah, pretty cute Buster: I'm not sharing you for 'pretty cute' Rio: Well I'm sure she's more your type than mine Buster: You're my type Buster: If you don't want her, I don't Rio: I want you Rio: no one else registers Buster: Good Buster: 'Cause I need you. Nobody else Rio: You've got me Rio: it's different this time in every way Rio: just 'cos I'm going, I'm not gone Rio: whenever you need me Buster: Wherever too, yeah? Rio: Of course Rio: even if I could say no to you, got no desire to Buster: Baby Rio: That stil gets me weak Rio: how the fuck Rio: I read that in your voice Buster: Everything I do makes you weak, that's why Rio: yeah Rio: good thing you can be strong enough for the both of us then Buster: Not sure the hotel staff would agree when we broke the bed but I'll hold you up same as I did then Buster: You don't ever need to touch the floor when you're with me, babe, unless that's where we both want you Rio: That was so awkward Rio: just means we get to go to a new and better hotel next time though so Buster: For somewhere so old school the future didn't have much staying power Rio: That Freudian slip really tell me how it be Rio: won't get used to these heights, don't worry 😉 Buster: 😂 Buster: When I've also been dyslexic all this time Rio: 😏 Nancy gonna be so pissed Rio: don't take her struggle and overcome it, babe Buster: If anyone could Buster: I'm definitely not gay though so Rio: Don't be tryna 💔 that hard Buster: I can't, I promised Rio: Yeah Rio: and lbr, I could turn ya Rio: if anyone could Buster: I don't want any other girls but you that's as close as ever got Rio: They don't deserve you Rio: and they can't do you like I can Buster: I meant it when I said you're the best thing that's ever happened to me Buster: You just keep making that more & more true, like Rio: don't plan on stopping any time soon, don't you worry Buster: Don't stop Rio: I won't if you don't Buster: That's not gonna happen Rio: then never Buster: Rio Rio: Buster Buster: I read that in your voice & I can't fucking handle it Rio: I've not said anything as much as I've said your name Buster: Don't stop that either Buster: I love the way you say it Rio: Keep giving me reason to Buster: Easy Rio: Would be right now Rio: this seat is so big we could share Buster: & Everyone wears headphones so there'd be no need to stay that quiet Buster: All we'd need is a blanket Rio: Complimentary, of course Buster: Just like me. I'd be so nice to you, baby Buster: The entire flight Rio: All the way home, daddy? Buster: Of course Buster: I'll let you recover in the cab while carry your bags in & then come back for you Rio: I want that Rio: it's going to be so shit when I get off this plane and you ain't waiting for me the other end Buster: I won't let it be Rio: I'll be fine Rio: just miss you Buster: I've sent you a surprise, it'll be waiting for you to compensate for the fact I can't be Rio: You're so fucking nice Buster: You haven't opened it yet 😈 Buster: There are loads of things to remind you of me Rio: then that's still really fucking nice, no matter how 😈 everything is bound to be Rio: I'm excited Buster: Show me when you unwrap everything Buster: I wanna see your face Rio: Okay baby Rio: Indie better not open it 😂 Buster: I thought of that so I sent it to your mum & dad's Rio: So smart Rio: although I will now have to bullshit my way through a fake holiday with them Rio: but could be vaguely entertaining Buster: Okay so I didn't think that hard ahead Buster: But you'll be fine Rio: Yeah Rio: lowkey a turn-on 'cos whilst I'm selling them the lie, get to think of what we were actually doing Rio: so don't worry, babe Buster: I feel that, so many people have asked me if I'm feeling better Buster: The yeah's not even a lie but Rio: 😏 Rio: The shit you shouldn't do is always the most fun, just facts Rio: secrets are fun too Buster: Yeah Buster: That's why the party's are so wild here 'cause the drinking age is ridiculous Rio: Init Rio: you ain't even meant to be fucking Rio: America and it's morality Buster: The coke is great though Rio: 😂 Buster: Well, now I wanna go out Rio: I'm sure everyone's missed you Buster: Obviously Rio: You said you've earnt a break Buster: I took that, I gotta do more before I get another Rio: Don't let me distract you then, babe Buster: But that's what you do best Buster: Don't let me stop you Rio: Gotta priortize Rio: how you wanna play Buster: With you Buster: There's no contest Rio: then don't get completely off your face when I'm stuck in the air Rio: can't get on that level Buster: No brandy, I hear you Rio: mhmm Rio: you dumb Buster: Behave Rio: Not if you aren't Rio: no fair Buster: I won't do anything you don't want me to Rio: You can go Rio: not a buzzkill Buster: You've already proved that, you don't need to now Rio: Sorry Rio: I just turned my data back on and instantly regretted it Rio: that's the real comedown Buster: Tell me Rio: It's mostly just the mundane shit Rio: but loads from him obviously Rio: 'cos I told him I was going, so he wouldn't show up when Indie was home alone or something Rio: but clearly he took that as 'I wanna talk again' Buster: He didn't & Indie's alright, yeah? Rio: Yeah, I've been messaging her on socials, she's fine Rio: why I turned my data off, he's blocked everywhere but texts so Buster: Then give me his number, I'd love to talk to him Rio: I can't, he probably knows who you are Rio: he knows everything it's bizarre Buster: He'll know exactly who I am when I'm done Rio: Hot Rio: seriously, forget about him Rio: ain't giving him the attention he wants Buster: That'd be fine by me if he wasn't giving you attention you don't want Rio: I can handle that Buster: I know but you shouldn't have to Rio: It'll quiet down soon Rio: we all got crazy exes, those of us that do repeats anyway Rio: he'll get a new girl and I can get on with my life without him in the background, like Buster: If you say so, babe Buster: I trust you Rio: Good Rio: don't worry Buster: Don't make me Rio: I won't Rio: promise Rio: least the rest have let themselves be ghosted with dignity so that's something Buster: That don't mean don't tell me, you know, before you promise Buster: Ignorance ain't bliss Rio: I'll tell you if I need to, yeah Rio: trust, no one needs this play by play Buster: If you need to for any reason, not just if you need me to sort it Rio: I promise, okay Buster: Okay Rio: So, what do you reckon, is anyone here got enough clout that they looked the other way when checking their bags for bags Rio: I'm bored Buster: Probably Buster: They only care about terrorists Rio: Tell that to Drew, let him know, like Buster: Not until I've gone though Buster: Cheers Rio: don't wanna hit him up to soon Rio: I ain't looking to have a stomach full of crack tah Buster: Fair Buster: When I say you can do anything, not what I mean Rio: Not my aspiration in life, gotta be said Buster: At least the ones you do have will keep you busy until I'm done here Rio: Then what Buster: Then I'll keep you busy all summer Rio: Mm, sounds like a plan Buster: It is, babe. It's my plan Rio: Um, OURS Rio: 'scuse you Buster: Alright, ours Rio: Always trying to claim the best ideas Buster: Hit me with your best right now Buster: I dare you Rio: Answer this call Buster: [does obvs] Rio: [put on that facetime show but try and be quiet please] Buster: [we know that ain't gonna happen but at least don't be as loud as you could be] Rio: [getting kicked off the plane is not goals lol] Buster: [at least he can afford to buy her another flight but still probably don't] Rio: [just thinking of that gifset lol] Buster: [god bless] Rio: see Rio: full of good ideas Buster: You really are Buster: Fuck Rio: don't doubt me again, yeah Buster: Sorry babe, but if it means you'll be that inspired, I might have to Rio: Alright Rio: I don't hate proving you wrong, I guess Buster: Behave, I wasn't wrong Rio: 🙄 Rio: admit it, I have the best ideas Buster: You have good ideas, I never said you didn't Rio: You implied it Rio: you're mean 😏 Buster: You're into it Rio: Only sometimes Rio: the rest you gotta treat me like 👑 Buster: You ain't gotta tell me how to treat you. I know Rio: Yeah Rio: you're good Rio: 😇 Buster: No, you are. It's that simple Buster: I wanna give you what you deserve Rio: You deserve that too Buster: As long as I keep making sure I deserve you that's all that matters Rio: stop making me weak Buster: You're all I want, you already know that Rio: but I feel stupid how much I want you right now Buster: Don't Buster: It's not stupid Rio: It's just Rio: what if it all goes wrong again Buster: I told you, I'm not gonna let that happen Rio: You know, that'd be worse this time too Rio: and I just don't want that Rio: so we can't Buster: We won't Buster: I need you, Rio Rio: I need you Buster: You can trust me Rio: Okay Rio: I don't know how this happened Rio: but I know we have to roll with it Rio: the alternative doesn't work Buster: Yeah Buster: & I know I ain't the same cunt I was before this Buster: I don't wanna go back Rio: Me either Rio: so we won't Rio: easy Buster: I really miss you though, that ain't Rio: Yeah Rio: I never wanted to leave Buster: I didn't want you to. I still don't Buster: Come back Rio: I'll turn this plane 'round Rio: hold on Buster: If anyone could, babe Rio: If we'd have got caught earlier, maybe Rio: but you'd have to talk them out of that no-fly list, probably Buster: We can always go again Buster: I've got you Rio: How are we ever gonna get anything done Rio: when we're so distracted Buster: You've distracted me since we were kids Buster: Things get done 'cause they have to, like Buster: We'd be your ex if we didn't, that's all the motivation you need Rio: who needs the books or inspirational speeches Rio: ugh Buster: We're gonna do epic shit, me & you Rio: You know it, babe Rio: what choice do we have Buster: There's always a choice but we're making the right ones. End of Rio: can make the wrong ones sometimes though Rio: just for fun, like Buster: Stop making it really fucking hot, I'm trying to motivate you Rio: 😋 Rio: please motivate me Buster: Jesus Buster: I actually want you constantly Rio: I know Rio: no matter how deep you go or hard or whatever it's never enough you're so Rio: I can't be close enough to you Buster: If anyone else said that to me I'd have lost my shit in the total opposite way to how I am now Buster: Do you know how fucking special you are to me? Can I ever explain, like Rio: 'Cos you feel it too Rio: you know exactly what I mean Rio: I just want you, in all aspects of my life Rio: nothing else is interesting to me now Buster: I feel emotional, shut up Rio: That's what I was saying Rio: weak Rio: idk, don't planes make some people emotional Buster: I'm not on a plane & I can't be weak Rio: Yeah you can Rio: who am I telling, and what Rio: you can be whatever you need with me Buster: Can I? Rio: Yeah Rio: of course Rio: I want you to Buster: I've just never Buster: Felt this, done this Buster: Any of it Rio: It's different from anything I've ever experienced too Rio: but you know Rio: I can be strong for you too Rio: I don't want you to think it's one way Rio: another stress Buster: I don't think that Buster: I know how strong you are Rio: Good Rio: you can trust me too, okay Buster: I do Rio: Ugh Rio: fuck Rio: I miss you Buster: Seriously, come back Buster: We got away with it, we can again Rio: I'll lose my job Rio: you'll lose all that cash Buster: I'll get you a new job Buster: When you want it Rio: 😏 how are you gonna do that then Buster: I live in Dublin too, I know people Rio: I thought you were motivating me Rio: not being a bad influence 😈 Buster: I'm motivating you get what you really want Buster: Me Rio: Baby Buster: Please Rio: You know it's exactly what I want too Rio: but we can't Buster: Nobody can stop us, except us, & why should we if that's not what we want Rio: 'cos you've gotta focus on school whilst you're there Rio: and I've got stuff here that I've gotta do too Buster: This school requires no focus, compared to the one back home it's like nursery Buster: I know you're worried about Indie but it ain't your job to raise her Rio: but someone has to Rio: you know he can't Rio: don't Buster: Let your parents then Buster: They want to Rio: They clearly have a great handle on the kids they have Rio: not like their 16 year old has just been...where, with who? Rio: it's not that simple Rio: never has been, sad but true Buster: Come on, that's different, we're not kids Rio: I wanna say yes but I don't wanna break a promise either Buster: I know, it's okay Buster: I'm not trying to put pressure on, like, I am but only 'cause you should be making choices for you Buster: Like you said, you're 16, we ain't kids but you ain't gotta live like you're 36 Buster: What about Drew's sister, can't she help? Rio: I can never just make choices for me though Rio: she's already upset I left, and all the other kids act like I ditched them becaused I moved out already Rio: like it or not, that's how it is for me Rio: she does, but Indie is Rio: hard to manage, like Buster: Forget I said anything Buster: It's only a couple of months now anyway Buster: I'm being unfair Rio: You aren't Rio: it is what I want Rio: and I want you to be happy too Rio: but we got some shit we just gotta do, yeah Buster: Yeah Buster: That's life Rio: Mhmm Rio: stupid real life Buster: It's a shame we can't bring Indie here, she'd love it, like Rio: Seriously Rio: she'd have no issue saying yes Buster: She might have an issue with me & you but who won't Rio: Well yeah Rio: that's a whole other subject Rio: she's easily distracted but probably not that much Buster: Even your little brothers ain't that out of it Rio: no, they ain't Rio: that's gonna be harder too now Rio: being around everyone Buster: Yeah Buster: It's fucked Rio: We can do it Rio: we'll have to but Buster: At least it's always been like that for me, I'm sorry I brought you there too with yours Rio: What do you mean Buster: Your fam love you & shit Buster: You know Rio: Yeah Rio: yours do too though Rio: not me, though sure, everyone does Buster: It's not the same Rio: no, true Rio: it's not like my family is idylic Rio: everyone's got their shit Buster: 'Course Rio: I'm saying, I was already there Rio: you ain't done anything, so don't need to apologize Buster: I've done loads to you over the last few days but sure Buster: Not sorry for any of that Rio: 😏 definitely don't be Rio: I'm not Rio: even if it is a shame I can't tell anyone just how good it was Buster: You can Buster: Just think up a new boyfriend that you just have to come back & see ASAP Rio: Okay Rio: but they ain't gonna KNOW the level 'cos they won't know it's you Rio: have to keep that my secret, like Buster: Secrets turn you on, there's no denying it Rio: You turn me on Rio: it's total coincidence Buster: Yeah? Rio: I mean, yeah, it's seriously hot 'cos you're off-limits but I think I'd still want you if you weren't Rio: don't you think? Buster: Obviously I would Buster: Look at you Rio: 😋 Rio: exactly Rio: just a bonus who you are Rio: don't see me trying to get on any of my other cousins like, ew Buster: You're funny Rio: Does that mean you really don't think I am or Buster: It means you're making me laugh Buster: Maybe I'm just fucking hysterical still but Rio: awh Rio: I love your laugh Buster: Don't take the piss Rio: I'm not Rio: I'm sad I can't hear it Buster: Don't be sad either Rio: I'll try Buster: Try for me, baby Rio: 🤤 Buster: I'm in a state, why did I go out? Rio: For the coke, mostly Rio: you gone? Buster: I don't feel here Buster: But maybe that's 'cause you aren't Rio: Babe Rio: What do you need, what can I do? Buster: I'm alright Buster: Have to be Rio: You don't have to Rio: but if you're gonna be a mess be safe Buster: I don't wanna be a mess Rio: 'course not Rio: but sometimes we all have to be that too, like Buster: I can't Buster: You said it shouldn't be conditional, but it is Buster: When I fuck up they stop caring about me Rio: They still care it's just they don't show it in the right way 'cos they're disappointed Rio: it's still something, even if it feels like shit Buster: Bullshit. Nance is more than disappointed for one Rio: Well that's different with her Rio: stuff happened you'll have to agree to forget or talk about Buster: Don't hate me again, okay? Ever Rio: I never did, not really Rio: but I'm not going either, alright Buster: Yeah, don't Buster: There's nobody here that's Rio: That's what? Buster: It just feels like there's no one here but me Rio: You're just far away Rio: from real people Rio: and people who really know you Rio: but you're okay, I've got you Buster: I don't want that anymore Rio: What do you want? Buster: Things that are real Rio: Let's make that happen then Rio: we'll find real things for you Buster: You're real for me though Rio: Yeah Rio: Just 'cos we have to be apart for a bit, doesn't mean it's gotta be how it's always been Rio: I can talk to you all the time, be so annoying, I swear Buster: You're so cute, I swear Rio: Shh Rio: you Buster: No, 'cause you are & you don't know Rio: You're so sweet to me Buster: Not as sweet as I wanna be Buster: I don't know how to do that Rio: Well I like you Rio: I can always teach you Buster: You never did teach me how to kiss so Rio: You still want lessons, baby? Buster: Don't tell me I need 'em Rio: I don't think so but you sound like you're still bitter about it Rio: plenty other things I can show you Buster: Bitter ain't the word, don't worry Rio: Kid didn't stick around to dare us to try again, like Buster: He wanted your first kiss that's why Buster: Didn't reckon on me having it Rio: I'm glad it was you Rio: not gonna forget your name, like Buster: 😂 Rio: Serious Rio: got enough regrets since Buster: They'll motivate you if I can't Rio: you reckon Buster: 'Course Buster: Gotta keep doing better Rio: Yeah Rio: 'til what? Rio: what's the end goal? Buster: It's never over, you can always improve from where you were or get somewhere else you wanna be Rio: I guess so Buster: You calling bullshit? Rio: Nah Rio: Just thinking Buster: What? Rio: Just about what I want Rio: what I don't Buster: If you're about to dump me, you've really picked your moment, babe Rio: Shut up Rio: no Buster: Like cheers for letting me have these last few days first but Rio: 😂 Rio: Stop Rio: like you're getting off that easy Buster: You know you can get me off very easy, that's why I want you to stay Rio: 😏 Rio: touche Rio: and works for me Buster: Works on you too, everything I do for you Rio: You know you make me feel good, baby Buster: Better than good Rio: Yes Rio: happy Buster: You make me feel happy too Rio: Good, that's all I want Buster: Nothing else? Are you sure? Rio: Well Rio: if you're offering Buster: I am Buster: What do you want? Rio: Just you Rio: and you and more you Buster: I told you, you're fucking cute Rio: I just like you Buster: You're making me blush Rio: You're making me miss you so fucking much Rio: the cutest Buster: [sends pics of his cute face] Rio: 😍 Rio: you're unreal Rio: and mine Buster: I wanna kiss you so badly right now Buster: All these girls here & none of them are you Rio: It's so rude and unfair Rio: your lips are so soft Buster: I'm not gonna stop there Buster: Your skin is flawless Buster: My mouth needs to be on all of it Rio: Are you gonna be gentle? Buster: At first Rio: Buster Buster: I just like you too Rio: I know Rio: Be back soon Rio: okay Buster: Okay Rio: We're gonna have the best summer Buster: I promise Rio: 😊 Rio: we should go away somewhere else Buster: Where do you wanna go? Rio: Hmm Rio: anywhere hot Rio: the less clothes you need the better Buster: Fine, I admit you have the best ideas Rio: 😏 Rio: THANK YOU Buster: Don't shout at me Buster: So rude Rio: How could I Rio: being 'round you, making me forget my manners, I reckon Buster: You've gotta be a good girl Buster: Angelic like Buster: Who else is gonna balance me out Rio: Only for you Rio: 'cos you ask so nice Buster: Yeah, nobody else Buster: You're my baby, not theirs Rio: I'm so ridiculously yours Rio: I don't need nobody else Rio: or nothing Buster: I'll make sure you don't Buster: Give you everything Rio: I know you will Rio: you do Buster: Tell me I can get on a plane too & meet you there Rio: Is this a test Rio: of how good I am Rio: 'cos 😩 Buster: It's just what I want Rio: Me too Rio: you're fucking addictive Rio: actually Rio: sounds so cringe for how real it feels Buster: I can't tell anyone even if you said the most embarrassing shit ever uttered Buster: But that's not Buster: It's accurate Rio: Keep it in mind Rio: I still fucking feel you but not enough Rio: just aches Buster: Me too Rio: No matter how many times I make myself cum, I'm still craving you Buster: That's the hottest thing & also exactly how I feel Rio: Kinda never want this plane to land Rio: unless it's back with you, obviously Rio: real life is the worst Buster: If you don't land you can't open your present though Rio: that's true Rio: I should probably sleep but I don't wanna Buster: Dream about me Buster: That was real life too & it was the best Rio: I like sleeping with you Buster: Get on the phone, I'll tell you a story Rio: If you get any more daddy you're actually gonna have to put a kid in me Rio: warning you, like Buster: I'm keeping up with you, going home to be such a MILF Rio: 😂 Rio: you're just too fucking hot Rio: it's dangerous Buster: Don't worry baby, I'll keep you safe Rio: Stop Rio: or Imma come back and fuck up your whole life Rio: 😏 Buster: Come back & be my whole life Rio: 😍 Rio: I swear to GOD, boy Buster: Swear to me, you know you want to Rio: Fuck Rio: just fuck me Rio: fuck my whole life Buster: [calls her so he can sorry everyone] Rio: [either making this flight very interesting or very long for everyone else lmao] Buster: [at least she's not in business class that's just pervy men but she could've got that promo tho] Rio: [pass a bowl round] Buster: [lol imagine] Rio: [better leave this ‘fore an ily slip]
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Jimmy & Janis
Jimmy: what are you doing tonight? Jimmy: the answer is saving my life, if you need a clue but Janis: dramatic Janis: but I do know first aid so 👍 Janis: should be good? Jimmy: dress like you're going to dinner with a casual racist, his fancy woman & some unloved kids then meet me at my house for Ian's clocking off time Jimmy: alright? Janis: oh no Janis: really? Janis: it's your birthday, Ian, could do anything you want Jimmy: he's been there done that, we skipped it Jimmy: but my postcard did arrive so 👍 Janis: it's nice he missed me and all but Janis: ick Janis: alright Jimmy: you ain't actually invited by him Jimmy: just me Jimmy: don't be too 💔 Janis: shh Janis: such a hater Janis: do you actually want me to dress like a respectful church girl or am I meant to come full slut, like what's your vibe here Jimmy: bring a bag big enough to stuff the 🐶 in, she is & she'll wreck the place quicker than even Bob could do Jimmy: as for what you wear, express yourself, babe Janis: 😂 Janis: is that white people code for ethnic Janis: bit #problematic Jimmy: there's no code Jimmy: or dress code Jimmy: you hate him, you know what to do Jimmy: it ain't what we wear that matters Janis: but miraculously, I don't completely hate you Janis: not tryna fuck it up in the wrong ways, like Jimmy: he can't stab me with a salad fork or do me over with a corkscrew in the middle of a restaurant Jimmy: gutted for him Janis: political correctness gone mad Janis: but true Jimmy: we'll leave before his girlfriend does so he can't say or do owt Jimmy: don't worry Janis: trust he's not hit you yet then for going AWOL Janis: not very family-friendly Jimmy: she was here when I got in so nah Jimmy: maybe she'll move herself proper & really fuck his life up Janis: 💕 Jimmy: it'd be a first but he's one year closer to 💀 & that's at least 20 off by northern standards Janis: might've been hasty, not having you around to raise them for a whole week Janis: rush her up the aisle, Ian Jimmy: he don't have a shotgun license 💔 too 😭😭 to be allowed Jimmy: unlucky dad Jimmy: he could try knocking her up but she ain't that much younger than him so Janis: grim Janis: happens sometimes Janis: not putting it past my mother to have a last hurrah Jimmy: don't Jimmy: I ain't raising no baby for him Jimmy: got enough on Janis: she'll have to at least do the breatfeeding bit Janis: pull your weight, evil stepmum Jimmy: 🍼 as soon as Jimmy: that's how we were all churned out Jimmy: no hippies here Janis: brave, the health visitors practically crucify you for that Jimmy: like he's bothered Jimmy: parent of the year 🏆 Janis: all this talk of babies is giving me ptsd Jimmy: shut up then Jimmy: I need to be able to touch you later Janis: charming chat as ever Jimmy: 💕 Janis: good thing you don't need it Janis: already miss you so Jimmy: if you need it you know I will Jimmy: I miss you too Janis: not gonna make you seduce me in your hour of need, babe Jimmy: it ain't all about him though Jimmy: I wanna see you Janis: I know Janis: it's been so shit being back Janis: worse than I reckoned Jimmy: & so quick Jimmy: I thought we'd have time to take a fucking breather at least Janis: yeah Janis: no chance Janis: nan had to kick mum out earlier it was such a farce Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: I didn't even ask Jimmy: sorry Janis: no big, I ain't asked how work was either Janis: I wouldn't speak to her, did my best not to listen either so meh Jimmy: still Jimmy: we don't have to do this Jimmy: now or ever Janis: I wanna Janis: not like, this is exactly how I'd choose to spend my saturday nights wanna Janis: but if you have to then I'm gonna Jimmy: I get it, you wanna see what Bob chooses when I let him dress himself no saying nah to nowt Jimmy: same Janis: 😂 Janis: I'm sure it'll beat whatever the fuck dad of the year would put him in Jimmy: he'll probably wear something of mine & whatever you've left on my floor Jimmy: he don't hate us for going like Cass does Janis: how pissed is she Janis: like do I need to wear protection from salad forks too Jimmy: not as bad as she was when she worked out mum was gone Jimmy: but as close as I've seen her Janis: shit Janis: like, knew she would but still Janis: how are you making it up to her, got a plan yet? Jimmy: I don't know where or how to start Jimmy: my room is trashed which is 👍 Janis: 😕 Janis: we'll brainstorm Jimmy: & I don't mean Gracie don't know what to wear, I mean my door won't close 'cause it's been booted Jimmy: tah for stepping in on that one, Ian Jimmy: A+ parenting Jimmy: bribes ain't gonna work this time Janis: might've helped Janis: the mature response Janis: we'll think of something, swear Jimmy: wouldn't be surprised Jimmy: like I won't be when nowt works to sort this Jimmy: playing happy families with whoever the fuck she is ain't gonna help Janis: I'm sorry Janis: I shouldn't have let you come Jimmy: you'd be sorry if you tried to stop me Janis: 🔪or 😭 Jimmy: I'm serious Jimmy: I wanted to come Jimmy: I needed to Janis: I know Jimmy: I can't be her brother, her mum & her fucking dad Jimmy: she's old enough to get it Janis: yeah, but she ain't old enough to leave herself Janis: like I get it Janis: when my brothers and sisters got to leave I hated them Jimmy: & I get it Jimmy: I hate my mum for that Janis: yeah Janis: but you came back Janis: so she can't stay mad forever Jimmy: it don't mean shit when she knows I wanna go again Jimmy: that I will Janis: you're not gonna just desert them though Jimmy: how she sees it is I don't love her enough to stay which makes me as bad as my mum Jimmy: worse 'cause I was there for that Janis: she knows it's more complicated than that though too Janis: even if she hates you for that it's still true Jimmy: yeah but she also ain't cut her hair since 'cause she got one the day before Jimmy: she's a kid still Janis: yeah Janis: so are you Jimmy: piss off am I Jimmy: I don't get to be Janis: how long can you cope with being mum, dad and brother so she gets to keep being one, even a bit Jimmy: as long as I have to Janis: okay then Janis: then we'll find a way to make her believe and know that Jimmy: easy to say Jimmy: fuck knows how we're gonna do it Janis: well no Janis: but we got time Janis: she ain't beyond hope yet Jimmy: can you just Jimmy: be here now Janis: um not to be a dickhead but not right now Janis: give me about half an hour, then I can Jimmy: okay Janis: had to go home, ain't I Janis: got fuck all here Jimmy: I would buy you new shit to avoid that Jimmy: you should've said Janis: nah, it's fine, I can be stealth Jimmy: such an athlete yeah I know Jimmy: always going on about it you Janis: you know you ain't been complaining Jimmy: only 'cause you'd fight me & you're so 💪 Jimmy: can't handle the loss right now Janis: better shh then, boy Jimmy: alright Janis: you know we ain't taking nothing but Ws tonight Jimmy: yeah Janis: teamwork Janis: okay Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Jimmy: I ain't forgot Janis: it'll be shit but for him too Janis: realistically the best I can offer Jimmy: shitter for him than the rest of us is all I want Janis: 👍 Janis: lbr, me being there = night ruined so Janis: anything else is 🍒 Jimmy: it'll be interesting to see how he tries to handle you being there when she is Janis: gotta ascertain if she too, is a casual racist, I suppose Jimmy: Cass wants to bring her mate & he ain't white either so Jimmy: you're getting close to surrounded, Ian 💔 Janis: and when you're the foreigner Janis: headfuck Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: what would buble do, dad? ask yourself Jimmy: already accepted him as his lord & savior Janis: is he a racist Janis: damn Janis: what a loss 💔 Jimmy: don't you have like a little book of racists in your house Jimmy: I was hoping you'd know Jimmy: should cover the 'celebs' at least Janis: a who's who of who to avoid Janis: sadly not Janis: how 'woke' are you now, lads Jimmy: gap in the market there Jimmy: crack on, babe Jimmy: get even richer Janis: what you chattin' Janis: omw to getting disowned here Jimmy: all the more reason to get busy with it then Jimmy: I ain't funding no #lavish life Janis: 😱 Jimmy: should've backed Pete 🐎 Jimmy: be his groupie by now if you'd grafted Janis: well you did kind of ruin that for me Jimmy: well I'm giving you a second chance Jimmy: 🎣 him from the CG I have Jimmy: I know how to graft Janis: yeah? Jimmy: he starts next week Jimmy: get your shit together Janis: I bet you just told him there was fit girls that work there Janis: who am I to ruin his job satisfaction Jimmy: It ain't my fault he'll be 😍 for my esteemed pink haired colleague after one shift Janis: 😒 Janis: shut up Jimmy: come on, he's actually got a type Jimmy: & when he hears her sing he'll be 🤤 Janis: I said shut up Janis: so rude Jimmy: 💔💔 Jimmy: get some vocal coaching & a box dye Jimmy: you've got time Janis: I can sing fine Janis: it's not hard Jimmy: me too but fine ain't 🤤🤤 Jimmy: you've got the nose ring already that's 1 point Janis: 😑 Janis: don't test me 'cos I have to come Jimmy: do yourself a tattoo while you're home you'll be well away Janis: I'm ignoring you now Janis: good day Jimmy: so mean you Jimmy: I'm being well helpful towards getting you on Pete Janis: you gave me false hope then snatched it away, you mean Jimmy: how? Janis: oh pete's gonna work with me again oh wait I've lowkey whored a bitch out for it Janis: 😒👌 Jimmy: you said that, I never Jimmy: she's got a boyfriend remember Janis: and he had a girlfriend, last I heard Janis: what's that matter, obviously Jimmy: I like working with 'em both Jimmy: that's it Jimmy: let me have my #dreamteam Janis: save me the love letter Janis: you're gross Jimmy: but I wanna write you one Jimmy: bit rude Janis: no you don't Janis: you wanna write pete and whatserface one on the back of a to-go Janis: you massive 🤓 Jimmy: yeah I do & no I don't Jimmy: if I tried to write one on their skin the way I do to you, I'd get sacked for a start Jimmy: or need a longer break than I'm allowed Janis: 💀 Jimmy: baby Jimmy: come on Janis: don't baby me, dickhead Jimmy: please be my BFF again 💕 Janis: literally have never been your bff Janis: Twix's only Jimmy: 😱 I'm wearing my half of the necklace right now Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: wounded me Janis: lied for the jewellery and I'll do it again Janis: kinda girl I am Jimmy: brutal you Janis: you started it Jimmy: I started nowt Jimmy: like I told you, I was trying to help you ride Pete off into the sunset Janis: mhmm Jimmy: scroll up if your memory's gone Janis: my memory is fine Janis: you want him to be your work bff Jimmy: just 'cause they both annoy me less than the 99% of other colleagues and customers I ain't gonna buy them necklaces & form a #squad Janis: likely story Janis: 👍 Janis: got form, you Jimmy: you don't count Jimmy: broke all my normal rules for you Janis: really Jimmy: obviously Janis: hmm Jimmy: you know it, don't be pretending you need to think on it Janis: hold on Janis: I'm here, wish me 🍀 Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: not that you should need it Jimmy: 🥇 at being stealth or not Janis: [suitable amount of time later] Janis: ugh Janis: they're being so extra right now but I styled it out and took as much shit as I could so Jimmy: 👍 Janis: be with you now then Jimmy: okay Janis: that was fun Janis: do you think my nan and granddad will let me stay 'til we can go Jimmy: you can stay here if not Janis: who's gonna 🔪 me in my sleep first, like Jimmy: they'll get me first it's alright Janis: oh so I have to watch you die, lovely Jimmy: already 👻 me remember Janis: fair, he really would keel over if we pretend I need to move in 'cos my fucked up family Janis: no styling that rage out Jimmy: I'm not pretending Jimmy: you can Janis: shit's gonna be hard enough with Cass for you, I ain't gonna do that Janis: but thanks Jimmy: shit's always hard Jimmy: stay with me Janis: we're always together anyway Janis: we'll work it out Jimmy: I'll get a bigger bed if you want Janis: you're so Janis: stop Janis: probably should for the sake of your back Janis: to be fair Jimmy: say you'll stay Janis: okay Janis: I'll stay Jimmy: you promise yeah Janis: I promise Janis: 'less your Da literally calls garda or something Jimmy: alright then Jimmy: 'cause he won't Jimmy: too shit scared I'll let 'em know that he smacks me about Janis: and he needs you to wanna stick about, like it or not Janis: fuck it Janis: you want me to, yeah Jimmy: I ain't only saying it for you Jimmy: I'm that dickhead Janis: I love that dickhead Jimmy: I love you Janis: I love you so fucking much Jimmy: it's gonna be alright, like it'll be shit but I'll make it okay too Janis: me too Janis: I'll get a job and all and we can save and yeah Jimmy: I'll get another job Jimmy: now I ain't on the clock as your fake boyfriend I can have two again Janis: lowkey feels like you're just tryna best me but okay 😏 Janis: #illget3 Jimmy: I have loads of money saved from before & now Jimmy: some of its for the kids but Jimmy: not all of it is Janis: yeah? Janis: we can make this work Janis: I ain't just saying it Jimmy: me either Jimmy: I promise Jimmy: I'll show you when you get here, there is loads but I've not counted it properly for ages Jimmy: be that nerd for me, tah Janis: do my best Janis: should've probably paid more attention in maths but remember that much Jimmy: my northern education don't go beyond counting to 10 so Jimmy: have a better crack than me Jimmy: need my #dreamteam to hand out the change Janis: 😂 Janis: poor boy Janis: not to be fucking depressing about it but Janis: this is the first time I've felt Janis: hopeful Janis: since Janis: yeah Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: you know I do Jimmy: I feel it Jimmy: I'm not gonna let you down, I swear Janis: I know loads of stuff is still fucked but Janis: it's like Janis: not entirely helpless, with you, us Jimmy: loads of stuff is always gonna be fucked but I'll make you happy still Janis: you do Janis: that's all I wanna do for you too Jimmy: you do Jimmy: I don't know how to explain how fucking massive it is that I even wanna do that for you, never mind that you can do it for me Jimmy: without sounding like a dickhead Jimmy: but I'd given up ages ago on that Janis: yeah Janis: I get it Janis: I really didn't like anyone, you know Janis: it's the truth Jimmy: I know Janis: but you just Janis: I dunno why it happened or how Jimmy: It don't matter Jimmy: I'm just glad Jimmy: I didn't like anyone either, I don't Jimmy: I love the kids but I also hate them 'cause of everything they make me do Janis: understandable, think anyone would Janis: in your shoes Jimmy: there's no room for like in that Janis: no time either Jimmy: even when I thought I loved my ex I didn't like her loads of the time Jimmy: couldn't Jimmy: she was just Janis: not enough of a dickhead? Jimmy: too much of one Janis: colour me offended Jimmy: she was just another mess for me Jimmy: you've never been that Janis: but if I move in Janis: won't I be doing that Jimmy: I take care of you, you take care of me Jimmy: it's mutual Jimmy: not like here's my mess carry it for me while we pretend you ain't holding your own too Janis: yeah Janis: okay Janis: that makes sense Jimmy: I can't remember her asking me a question Jimmy: about me I mean Janis: known plenty of people like that Janis: I guess, you wanted that, at first, yeah Janis: easier Jimmy: yeah except nobody else does either Jimmy: just you Jimmy: you asked me why I don't answer 'em there's the answer to that Janis: yeah Janis: well I am a notoriously nosey bitch so Janis: never stop, me Jimmy: I like it Jimmy: you Janis: good Janis: don't fancy sharing a single bed if you don't, tbh Janis: awkward Jimmy: I said I'll get a bigger one, don't need to beg Janis: 😏 Janis: I hear you though, you know Janis: even if I ask questions and then don't know what to say back Janis: I still give a shit about the answer Jimmy: even when my mum was about she never asked me how I was or school or nowt like that Jimmy: at least you try Janis: fucked, really Janis: that's what fills live up, the questions, however boring or throwaway Janis: for normal people, like Jimmy: nobody in my fucked up family wants the answers Jimmy: even Bobby knows not to ask and he's 6 Janis: then it gets so you only talk when something unavoidably fucked has happened Jimmy: or not even then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: yeah Janis: hm Jimmy: just preparing you for what a barrel of laughs it's gonna be for you living at my house Janis: don't worry Janis: not like I won't fit right in Janis: so much you're gonna be booting me out sharpish Jimmy: never Jimmy: if you're going, I'm going Janis: promise Jimmy: I'll swear on owt you want Jimmy: Ian's balding head Jimmy: Cass' growing rage Jimmy: name it Janis: 😂 Janis: I love you, Jimmy Jimmy: 'course you do Jimmy: best boyfriend ever Janis: mhmm Janis: I see no lie Jimmy: as soon as we get a bigger bed we're gonna have a kid & a dog in it & be no better off Jimmy: that's what I'm seeing Janis: you just scared the shit out of me 'til I realized who you meant Janis: well you know Janis: least they still love us Janis: gotta keep 'em on side Jimmy: inviting 'em off the street, in you come lads 👌 Janis: also no, but that is about as batshit an idea, yeah Jimmy: batshit'd be right Jimmy: that's my life, girl Jimmy: welcome & tah for the RSVP Janis: 😏 Janis: least it's different from my own Jimmy: get famous off the comic strip won't I & you'll really love me then Janis: that is what I'm after Janis: fame and money Jimmy: your #thirst for Pete is blatant so I'm aware Janis: firstly I loved him before I knew he was in a band Janis: and he'll never be famous or rich, he's the bassist Janis: how many bassists do you know Jimmy: 1 & that's him Jimmy: but I'm antisocial that don't count Janis: exactly, it's him and Paul friggin McCartney Janis: who I would never bang Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: he was the bassist Janis: right Janis: you didn't even know Janis: proves my point Jimmy: fuck me Jimmy: my world is rocked Jimmy: & not by his bass notes Janis: I know, it's less clout than the drummer Janis: at least at a glance you can tell the difference between a drum and a guitar Jimmy: I'd only fuck George always or Ringo now 👴💕 not that you asked Jimmy: bit rude Janis: I'm sorry but I respect your choices Janis: probably would John 'cos he was a massive dickhead and just my type so Jimmy: I ain't growing my hair for you Jimmy: will stay in bed though Janis: will need that bigger bed Janis: they were not doing that in a single Janis: fuck peace then, eh lads Jimmy: what else do we need in my room though really Jimmy: floordrobe Jimmy: done Janis: exactly Janis: my life is in this bag Janis: was gonna find a squat for you, not that picky Jimmy: just train the dog not to piss on it all & we're 👌 Janis: genuine q Janis: what are we doing for a door tonight Janis: as yours is fucked Jimmy: shit Jimmy: maybe we can bodge it some way Janis: yeah, sure we can Janis: i'm a pro Janis: my brother is always breaking things, doors included Jimmy: but like if we're got the kid & the dog in, Ian's downstairs & Cass is probably pretending I drowned at the beach so Jimmy: not as much of an issue as it sounds Janis: true true Jimmy: which brother Jimmy: the deaf one Jimmy: or the other one Janis: other one Janis: kind of a savage, don't tell Ian Janis: he'll be buzzing Jimmy: he would love that Jimmy: so secret's safe Janis: so many stereotypes being met Janis: thanks lads Jimmy: he asked Cass if she was a lesbian Jimmy: might also be a homophobe Jimmy: we're doing great here ourselves Janis: 👍 Janis: only one of ours is Janis: some of the others say they're bi but you can ignore that 'cos it's not real Jimmy: 🤞 she is to fuck him off Jimmy: he calls Bobby by girls names all the time 'cause he says he is like a girl for crying & shit Jimmy: give the man another 🏆 Janis: ain't old enough to be claiming that shit as generational Janis: no matter how northern you are Jimmy: our kid has got loads to cry about Jimmy: I say let him Janis: why not Janis: save a fortune on doors Jimmy: think it through Ian Janis: does it help Jimmy: what Janis: crying Janis: do you think Jimmy: it don't do fuck all for me Jimmy: but nowt does other than you Jimmy: still happens sometimes Jimmy: you just Janis: can't help it Jimmy: or you think maybe it'll help just that once even though you know it's bollocks Janis: and what do you have to lose Jimmy: exactly nowt Jimmy: like I'm gonna call Ian's bird mum all night, don't have to remember her name & get to make it weird Janis: oh God Janis: that is funny, even though I should feel sympathy 'cos you did that to me Jimmy: if you wanna sit next to her & commiserate about the Taylor's, go on Jimmy: not stopping you Janis: gonna find out how well suited she is to Ian first Janis: but tah Janis: love some #sisterhoodsolidarity me Jimmy: as long as you still sit next to me Jimmy: do what you want Janis: obviously Jimmy: I'm not doing your sister's double dating seating plan bollocks Janis: 🙄 Janis: don't Jimmy: if I can't touch you under the table I'm not staying sat down Jimmy: hill I'm dying on tonight Janis: damn Janis: noble cause Jimmy: there's only so many 🚬 breaks we can take even if they do annoy the birthday boy Janis: don't he smoke? Jimmy: he's a hypocrite of course Janis: he could quit any time yeah Janis: ugh Jimmy: he might do for her 🤞 the damage is already done Jimmy: if I get cancer & he don't, fuming Janis: my God won't let that happen Jimmy: your god that don't exist yeah Janis: that's the one Jimmy: 👌 Janis: he don't wanna upset me Janis: trust Jimmy: that's just good sense Jimmy: your bad side is like Jimmy: I ain't even finishing the sentence is how it is Janis: wise Janis: 😒 Jimmy: come here I need you Janis: I'm near Janis: couple more stops I think Jimmy: but be nearer Janis: I'll take over the bus, hold on Jimmy: good Jimmy: it's about time Janis: what am I like Janis: not appreciating you at all rn Jimmy: anyone would think you were still faking it Jimmy: no effort Janis: no one ever thought I was faking it Janis: 'cept you Jimmy: I didn't Jimmy: I've told you loads of times you weren't that good, babe Janis: 😑 oh please Janis: you thought I hated you Jimmy: please what, pretend that you didn't want me so badly & it was so obvious Janis: UGH Janis: turning this bus 'round Janis: gonna do the normal route, like Jimmy: you won't Jimmy: nowt's changed you still want me so badly & it's still so obvious Janis: shut up Janis: least I weren't that obvious Janis: could've got in real trouble, perv Jimmy: you weren't that obvious to who, baby? Janis: I hate you 😣 Jimmy: so much, I know Janis: hmpf Janis: like you were so 😎 dickhead Jimmy: always am Janis: 👌 Jimmy: go on, when weren't I Janis: when have you ever been? 🤔 Janis: real question Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: you were mean first Jimmy: still waiting for you to give me an actual example of me ever not being 😎 as fuck Janis: I don't know why you wanna be mortified Janis: by your shameless past thirst Jimmy: I know why you can't think of one & you're playing for time Janis: might not have been that long but you've packed in loads of 🤓 Jimmy: sounds like an excuse that Jimmy: no shame in not being able to come up with one Janis: 🙄 Janis: what about every time I've beat you at everything Janis: for starters Jimmy: letting you win is #goals & therefore 😎 Janis: you ain't once Janis: liar liar Jimmy: that's what you think 'cause I'm good at faking it, unlike you, babe Janis: firstly you were awful at it Janis: why do you think it went by the wayside so fast Janis: secondly how do you know I'm not still faking it #longcon Jimmy: I told you, 'cause you wanted me so bad & it was so obvious Jimmy: which is the same reason I know you ain't faking nowt now Janis: the Lord is testing me Janis: thought this dinner was meant to be the hard part Jimmy: I said you were hot from the off, that's how 😎 I am, alright Janis: peppered in with many, many insults Janis: sure Jimmy: I meant them as well like Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 💋🍑 Jimmy: 😂 Janis: such a pisstake Jimmy: you love it Janis: hmm Jimmy: & me Janis: yeah Janis: more fool me Jimmy: it's a top move, smart girl Janis: you sound like a teacher Janis: not a mood Jimmy: but I don't have coffee breath & I'm here to meet you off the bus so Janis: it's a start 😏 Jimmy: you'll know when I start Janis: I hate it when you're right Janis: even a little Jimmy: no you don't Janis: 😩 Jimmy: me knowing what I'm doing is as good for you as it is for me Jimmy: I'll show you Janis: fuck Janis: [off the bus like hey] Jimmy: [picks her up to get her away from the other people getting off like excuse us] Janis: ['they might think this is a grabbing, you know'] Jimmy: ['I'll take my chances either way' sits down on the bus shelter seat with her in his lap like always so a make out can ensue] Janis: [telling him how much she's missed him in between breaths 'cos always true and saying how bad she wants him 'cos true now] Jimmy: [he can't look at her because he's been crying on & off throughout this day & convo cos he's soft & it's been a one but hiding that as best he can with extra kisses & touches & words spoken into her neck or shoulder or wherever] Janis: [all the comforting touches and holding him so tight with all the ilys ever] Jimmy: [saying it back & trying to pull her closer to him than he's probably ever, soz about it] Janis: [touching his face and looking right at him like 'you're so perfect for me'] Jimmy: [says 'you' but the softest & quietest] Janis: ['you, baby' hugging him like it's been a lifetime 'cos today lowkey has] Jimmy: [the tightest & longest hug they both need with soft kisses that get less because like you said, what a day & desperation is allowed] Janis: ['please tell me we've got time to be alone one last time, like'] Jimmy: [nods because he'd make time if they didn't] Janis: [soft but needy moan into his mouth 'cos you know, thank God] Jimmy: [literally does whatever he can to make her do that again because] Janis: [saying his name over and over under her breath] Jimmy: [says 'fuck' but we know its a moan really who are we kidding boy] Janis: ['please'] Jimmy: [shamelessly going as hard as he can here & now 'cause he don't wanna move yet & lbr they've done more public places at this point] Janis: [soz world but they need to so, not even soz for how much noise she's barely toning down here] Jimmy: [likewise him cos when is he ever chill about anything] Janis: ['this is- you're everything'] Jimmy: [gives her so many 'you' s & her name like shh but don't] Janis: [when this just encourages you to go harder but at least you're bitey so you aren't as loud] Jimmy: [and what you give you get back so we're all having a good time] Janis: ['make me cum, I couldn't without you earlier, I was so...'] Jimmy: [can always go harder & will because what more encouragement could he need honestly] Janis: ['scuse her, now all the neighbours probs know his name] Jimmy: [excuse him because intense eye contact forever & he's not being any more subtle so] Janis: ['you're actually killing me'] Jimmy: ['I know you can take it'] Janis: [unholy noises] Jimmy: [being even more extra like see, I told you you could handle this & also this] Janis: ['Baby'] Jimmy: ['it's alright' the most intense kissing ever because why not thanks bye] Janis: [the most needy kiss she'd have ever lbr and clinging onto his neck] Jimmy: [the most important of ILYs after] Janis: ['I love you the most anyone has loved anyone ever'] Jimmy: [has to just kiss her & hold onto her because the emotions bitch] Janis: ['I lost count though'] Jimmy: ['I don't mind'] Janis: ['doesn't bode well for my accountancy career but it was mostly your fault so'] Jimmy: [little lol] Janis: [smiling 'no one has ever felt this good, just me'] Jimmy: ['what about me?'] Janis: ['I hope it feels even half as good for you too'] Jimmy: [is just smiles & heart eyes cos obvs & god bless these two] Janis: [snuggles for a time 'come on then, let's go fuck shit up'] Jimmy: [tries to snuggle in more/shamelessly hide cos doesn't want to] Janis: ['I know, baby but it'll be alright, promise.'] Jimmy: [starts kissing her anywhere & everywhere so she won't wanna go either cos cheeky like that. 'it's alright here'] Janis: ['It's more than alright' the but don't need to be said 'cos duh 'when do we have to go?'] Jimmy: [keeps being very distracting but gives her a vague answer like 'we're got ages'] Janis: [is dubious but ain't that bothered obvs 'fashionably late is fine but can see your house from here so'] Jimmy: [carries on because trying to make a round 2 happen here as if they don't have somewhere to be. 'All I'm bothered about is if they can hear us from here.'] Janis: [has to kiss him 'cos the noise is too real] Jimmy: [so many kisses because he's such a clingy bitch we know & it's only slightly less needy than before obvs] Janis: ['I love you'] Jimmy: [says it back of course & how much he does] Janis: ['why the fuck do I wanna cry though?' is loling but hiding too] Jimmy: 'Baby'[makes her look at him because hands in her hair but gently though. 'Today's been...' he don't need to finish that sentence cos we know. 'it's alright'] Janis: [pulls his hands to her lips and kisses them, before moving them down 'cos wants to forget that moment ever happened and fast] Jimmy: [that's fine by him cos he's done enough crying for everyone today thanks] Janis: [enough talking yo] Jimmy: [enjoy lads cos its downhill from here cos actually do have somewhere to be in a bit] Janis: ['I need to get changed' whilst making no effort to move] Jimmy: [him too obviously but shrugs and just keeps snuggling until his phone rings. He don't answer it but we know who it is & why] Janis: [leaves it 'til the second ring before getting up, pulling him up with her] Jimmy: [handholding on the short walk back to his & as soon as he gets there it's time to sit on the doorstep & 🚬 cos we're gonna make Ian late & annoyed kids] Janis: [goes in and gets changed, awkward, least Twix and Bobby will be vaguely happy to see her] Jimmy: [eventually comes in & gets Bobby sorted out with whatever his hilarious outfit is gonna be, taking his time & even playing with Twix cos that's the mood] Janis: [comes down in some bomb Ian angering lewk and joins in] Jimmy: [is obviously distracted by how fucking good she looks excuse him] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [😏] Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [is a mixture of 😍 & 😳] Jimmy: you look Janis: idk what's pissing him off more, your reaction or the actual 'fit Jimmy: either way 🥇 Jimmy: any chance you packed a dress for me, that'd really wind him up Jimmy: or skirt, not fussy me Janis: 😂 Janis: you'd look hot Janis: he's just jealous Jimmy: he'd 🔪🔪 for these legs, babe Jimmy: so did you or am I gonna have to find the most 'fuck you dad!' outfit from my own wardrobe Janis: have a look what takes your fancy, babe Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: you coming or staying with 💕🐶 Janis: coming, obvs Janis: 🐶 probs gonna come too though Jimmy: [picks Twix up and carries her like a baby because we're annoying Ian not cos he loves her or anything shhh] Jimmy: let's go then Janis: [takes picture 'cos ha got you and 😍] Jimmy: [puts that little pup on his bed & flops down too cos don't wanna do this but she's loving him cos good egg] Janis: [comes and lies down with 'em, just stroking his hair but Twix gets jealous so also loving upon her, 'course] Janis: [oh idea, it should be the club outfit for the throwback feels 'cos not just about killing you, Ian] Jimmy: [little group snuggle pause cos they need it] Jimmy: alright fuck this Jimmy: [still hasn't moved even though] Janis: come on Janis: make yourself look fit or ridiculous Janis: that's the choices Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [finally does start getting ready because have to at some point] Janis: [just perving and chilling, gets a messages but ignores it] Jimmy: [comes back to the bed as soon as because she really does look GOOD and it's distracting so make out session much to Twix's annoyance soz pup] Janis: ['good choice, babe'] Jimmy: [before he can answer the front door slams which means Cass is also back which is gonna be fun for all the fam] Janis: [squeezes his hand comfortingly] Janis: here we go Jimmy: [everyone can hear her kicking off at Ian downstairs so obviously he has to get up & go sort that leaving her with Twix and Bobby who has also come in cos not about this drama] Jimmy: one sec Janis: 🍀 Janis: [just having a chat with Bobs about the fam 'cos he loves and it's not painful at all lol] Jimmy: [just can hear everyone shouting for a bit which is delightful & then Cass comes upstairs & slams her bedroom door & he comes back up not long after] Jimmy: [gets busy immediately making sure Bob is alright cos what else can he do or say like] Janis: [is realistically even less use and defs gonna keep quiet 'cos no comment needed rn] Janis: need a sec? I can go 🚬 Jimmy: he's alright Jimmy: that's round one Jimmy: loads more to go Jimmy: [tells him to go get Twix a treat though to keep them both busy] Janis: 👍 Janis: his blood pressures already through the roof looks of, no one's lasting 'til dessert, like Jimmy: oh didn't I tell you the plan was 🔪💀 Janis: didn't Janis: and bit rude to spring murder spree on a girl but 👌 Janis: I'm down Jimmy: one bloke ain't a spree, my love Jimmy: but alright we'll hit your house next & make it one Jimmy: since you're down Janis: so pedantic always, my dear Janis: but such a romantic with it 😍 Jimmy: we'll be getting the summons to head off soon Jimmy: let's go 🚬 Janis: aye aye Jimmy: [carries her down the stairs cos if it winds up Twix it annoys Ian & off they go outside] Janis: [is 😏 'til they outside] Janis: ['you're gonna do your back in, you know'] Jimmy: ['you ain't that heavy, calm down' & he proves it by sitting her back on his lap cos fave & they both need the closeness to get through this shitshow] Janis: [rests her head on his chest so she can hear his heartbeat, 'why are parents the worst people in the world?'] Jimmy: ['might just be ours' & shrugs then lights a 🚬 but not his own yet cos obvious a bit in his thoughts like] Janis: [shakes head but just smokes in silence for a bit, 'Mia should have a kid, or make one of her underlings who is still physically able, like'] Jimmy: ['you're gonna wanna take that back 'cause you know she'd ask your sister & make you be auntie to it'] Janis: *[makes puking motion, 'not being an auntie to the actual ones that exist, never mind satan's spawn'] Jimmy: [does 👍 IRL] Janis: ['is Cass' mate coming or?'] Jimmy: [shakes his head. 'Dad of the year said no'] Janis: [tuts like 'course, 'shoulda just showed up, kid'] Jimmy: ['if you want your thunder stolen, girl, yeah'] Janis: ['obviously not, massive attention seeker, me' gestures at the outfit 'cos ur welcome, Ian and Mrs Ian 'but you know, might get her in a slightly better mood, 'cos that I can't do right now'] Jimmy: [can't help staring cos she's drawn attention to how fucking hot she is again so don't mind him he's shamelessly 🤤 like has he even heard the 2nd bit of what she said lol] Janis: [pushes him, but gently 'cos don't also wanna fall here 'don't disagree then, dickhead! actually fishing there, for once'] Jimmy: [is looking at her like ?? cos was too distracted to even, soz bout it] Janis: ['least do something about it if you're gonna look at me like that, boy'] Jimmy: [a kiss like he wanted to give her when she first wore this outfit but obviously couldn't so] Janis: [is now the one shamelessly 🤤 don't get too comfortable lads, does the blowback thing to him this time for them mems too] Jimmy: [so much intense eye contact when he's not also staring at her lips or her body like somebody stop him you can't hook up again here & now lads there isn't time or opportunity but damn] Janis: [makes frustrated noise and pushes him again, still gentle, but mad about it] Jimmy: [kisses her again to try & get some of the frustration out cos same girl but not really gonna help is it boy] Janis: ['this is gonna be the longest night ever, isn't it'] Jimmy: [nods because all he can do in his frustrated state & also all he has chance to go cos finally time to go so there's that interruption I imagine Ian's girlfriend awkwardly appearing like 'ahem'] Jimmy: [okay so the idea is JJ go with her cos they'd need two cars to fit everyone & that way they can be basically alone cos ignoring the gf when Ian ain't there plus if Jimmy was in a car with his dad they'd get killed/end up in a car wreck + this way it's more 'fun' for Ian cos Bobby would be whinging since he's JJ's biggest fan & Cass would be annoyed that he's being annoying on top of the mood she's already in. Enjoy fella} Jimmy: [oh & I nearly forgot he sends her a fire sext as they are getting in cos the combination of sexual frustration + that outfit is such a throwback so it's like everything he would've done then & everything he's gonna do cos she's his now so basically the hottest one to date not soz] Janis: [just dying in this lady's car like] Janis: really Janis: first you spring a spree on me Janis: now you straight up kill me Janis: and just Jimmy: [just know he is sitting in the middle so he's closer to her to be that dickhead & also doesn't have his seatbelt on which is blatantly gonna make this poor woman be like 'ahem' again when her car alerts her at some point but for now, gotta use the extra movement available to kiss her neck & collarbones cos they are so #exposed in that top & if you wanna talk about dying babe like & also touching her boobs cos they're also out I remember, excuse me lady] Jimmy: not yet Jimmy: but it can be a 💀💕 note yeah, 'cause it is my masterpiece Jimmy: if you want Janis: you are so Janis: 😣 Jimmy: go on, compliment me Jimmy: what do you wanna say Janis: you're the biggest dickhead I've ever met Jimmy: cute 💕 Jimmy: so romantic you Janis: don't call me cute 😡 Jimmy: or what you're gonna fight me Jimmy: have a go, she ain't my mum but she might turn this car around Janis: yeah I wish Janis: not that 🍀 Jimmy: yeah you are Jimmy: [points at himself like you got me cos such a nerd] Janis: how are you the same person Janis: does someone ghostwrite your sexts for you Janis: and can I meet 'em Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Jimmy: [puts his seatbelt on cos 1. the poor woman be like can you just & 2. offended at the bae being rude] Janis: hey Jimmy: ? Jimmy: [is doing a pouty face exaggerated] Janis: baby Janis: [cups his chins] Jimmy: [kisses her cos can't even pretend he don't wanna] Janis: [how painful it'd be to not go hard rn, 'scuse you lady] Jimmy: [he would anyway cos lowkey forget she exists soz woman] Janis: [having to be like no no for your own sake 'fore it gets too real] Jimmy: [at least it isn't a long car ride] Janis: you're mean you are Jimmy: I'm nice me Jimmy: what are you on about Janis: nope Janis: starting things you can't finish Janis: rude Jimmy: we can finish Jimmy: just be quiet Jimmy: easy, yeah Janis: 😑 Jimmy: you're really gonna turn down such a simple challenge right now Jimmy: 👌 girl Janis: I didn't say no, did I Jimmy: still waiting for the yeah though, aren't I Janis: now he's being considerate Jimmy: you trying to outmean me when I ain't even being Jimmy: top one, babe Jimmy: 🏆🏆🏆 Janis: I am not Janis: you'd know if I was being mean, babe Jimmy: just come here Janis: [when are you not on his lap] Jimmy: [eyes on the road lady you don't need to see none of this] Janis: I missed you Jimmy: I missed you more Janis: [shakes head] Jimmy: [nods] Jimmy: Can't you feel how much Janis: [makes little noise despite trying really hard not to] Janis: Baby, please Jimmy: [kisses her so he don't make any noise himself except into her mouth cos he's not as good at this we know] Janis: you meant it, yeah Janis: when you said you'd touch me under the table Jimmy: I don't say shit I don't mean Jimmy: not even to piss him off Janis: good Janis: 'cos I want you, not just to piss him off Jimmy: [more kissing & touching cos he wants her too literally always & Ian ain't even here rn] Jimmy: I love you, not just 'cause it pisses him off Janis: I know Janis: not that good an actor, babe Jimmy: [is being saucy as hell] Jimmy: let's see how good of an actor you are Janis: fucking Janis: fuck Janis: challenge accepted Janis: I've got this Jimmy: [is 😏] Janis: [kisses his smirky mouth 'cos] Jimmy: [bites her lip cos needs to bite his own rn really but less fun] Janis: [know for a fact wheever they're going ain't gonna be that far away and you're gonna be even more frustrated] Jimmy: [literally not gonna take a 6 year old on a long drive to a restaurant when they are everywhere are you so think on lads] Janis: [is so grumpy when they gotta get out lmao] Jimmy: [likewise & then literally all I can imagine is them trying to go to the bathroom together when they get there but then Bobby's like I wanna go too so cockblocked] Janis: [from the ladies oh kids] Janis: your brother is cute and everything Janis: but I ain't sharing my dessert with him now Jimmy: he can have mine already lost my appetite when I caught this bird making 😍 at Ian Janis: such a catch Janis: but control yourself, please Janis: have some decorum Jimmy: I give it 10 before Cass bounces a bread roll off both their heads though so Janis: nothing like kids to kill the mood Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: outside it is then he can't follow us to smoke til he's at least Cass' age Janis: your dads gutted his lady is too #classy for that Jimmy: I'll invite him just to watch him have to say no Janis: 💔 Jimmy: I know you are but I'll make it up to you Janis: how, got something stronger on you? 😏 Jimmy: come with me & find out girl Janis: [duh, how rude honestly lads but yolo] Jimmy: [when Ian is fuming and they ain't even looked at the menu yet lol] Janis: [alone at last for however long you can realistically 'fore Ian drags you back in] Jimmy: [at least they don't long with how turned on they both are, you're welcome Ian] Janis: [coming back to the table like it ain't dead obvious ok] Jimmy: [when your dad makes you go up the bar with him to get the drinks so he can have a go at you without his missus hearing lovely] Janis: [the most awkward table ever] Janis: tell him his inside voice could do with some work Janis: heard that bit then Jimmy: I'll give him a smack in a sec that'll shut him up Janis: bars pretty crowded, could say he got elbowed in the face or summin' Jimmy: tah babe Janis: jus' sayin' Janis: back you up Janis: or I could come elbow him in the face Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: go on then Janis: I have changed my mind anyway Janis: defs making it a triple Jimmy: you can also cover me while I pour extra sugar into my brother's juice Janis: 👍 Janis: already blowing her mind over here Jimmy: 'cause he's chatting & she's never heard him before or 'cause he ain't & she thought they were over that bit 💔💔 Janis: first onw Janis: he's missed you Jimmy: & you Jimmy: 💕 Janis: well reckon he can count as my favourite person in this shithole, when you ain't about so Jimmy: mine too Jimmy: unless Barry moves over, of course Janis: well I'll console poor Bobby in that eventuality then Jimmy: & Pete is pretty high on my list of faves, soz our kid Janis: 🙄 I know but if you mention her my elbows are gonna get confused Jimmy: who? Janis: I don't know her name but I can be descriptive if you really want Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: you should've caught it so you could stalk her socials Jimmy: some 🔥 pics of me in my uniform Janis: ignoring you now Janis: goodbye Janis: we're having a great time over here Jimmy: yeah? Jimmy: 👌 Janis: yep Janis: so much fun Jimmy: you ain't got better at faking nowt have you, my love Janis: like I'm here to be being nice and sociable Janis: would have invited your other girlfriend for that Jimmy: yeah I would Jimmy: [comes back with the drinks] Janis: [down it] Jimmy: are you telling me to piss off again or just having that much fun Janis: 🤷 Janis: could be both Jimmy: [downs his drink too] Jimmy: come back up the bar with me then Janis: [does] Jimmy: what do you want, lightweight? Jimmy: don't have to be same again Janis: 'cos mixing is sensible 😏 Janis: whatever though Jimmy: tonight it is Jimmy: & why you're here, like Jimmy: my other girlfriend can hold her drink better Jimmy: no fun for the family in that Janis: look Janis: here to fight Ian, not you Jimmy: then don't Jimmy: [pulls her in for a really good kiss moment] Janis: stop being a dickhead then Jimmy: teamwork Jimmy: I promise Janis: mhmm Jimmy: [kisses her again to prove that he means it] Janis: come on then Jimmy: we could just leg it Jimmy: should Janis: you mean you don't want me to get shitfaced now Janis: make up your mind Jimmy: if you could let me know what kinda drunk you're gonna be Jimmy: I will Jimmy: 🤞 for fun & nice to me Janis: already established that's your other girlfriend, haven't we Jimmy: could be both Janis: why would it be Jimmy: why wouldn't it Jimmy: I'm so nice & fun Janis: [rolls her eyes and starts heading back to the table] Jimmy: [pulls her back cos he is that dramatic. 'Do you want me to get down on my knees in this restaurant too. A fake proposal is just what this family dinner needs & Ian ain't showing no signs of stepping up with his'] Janis: ['do you want me to actually slap you or' pulling him forward like come on] Jimmy: ['been there before & you wouldn't, remember'] Janis: ['well I'm full of surprises'] Jimmy: ['prove it'] Janis: ['I'm no more gonna slap you in the middle of this restaurant than you're gonna fake propose so shut up'] Jimmy: ['then you better say yes 'cause that sounds like a challenge to me, babe & I've never not accepted'] Janis: ['do not'] Jimmy: [is 😏 'you're right I'll do it at the table, more of an impact. Tah babe. You always have top ideas.'] Janis: ['cos you really want your entire fam to witness that L, alright' shaking her head like gimme strength as they go back] Jimmy: [shrugs 'gotta tell them you're moving in anyway, can carry you over the threshold this way, can't I. The romantic in you'll love that.'] Janis: ['how you reckon you're getting a yes and a slap, idiot?'] Jimmy: [I know you so well, Juliet'] Janis: ['you wish'] Jimmy: [shakes his head cos he does know her & we know it & gets comfy in his seat] Janis: [dranking] Jimmy: [likewise but also trying to find something Bobby will eat cos this ain't the cali gaff & he's being deliberately fussy cos don't wanna be here & we know Cass is too but can't pick for her] Janis: shoulda gone for something themed Janis: less choice Jimmy: you wanna see me in the outfit or you wanna wear the outfit Jimmy: either way 👍 Jimmy: missed a trick Ian Janis: what you chatting Jimmy: if there's a theme, no half measures Janis: I meant like Janis: nandos, or a burger place 😂 Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: that's me, babe Jimmy: [nudges her playfully] Janis: why are the kids menus always so much better Jimmy: order off it Jimmy: he ain't your dad he can't stop you Janis: 😂 Janis: tah Jimmy: so welcome Janis: better remind her not to get the salad Janis: yeah you look #skinny but you'll end up with spinach in your teeth Jimmy: there's all that #femalesolidarity you always say you don't give a shit about Jimmy: get her to order something heavy on the garlic 💔 gutted Dad Janis: she defs didn't ask for this Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: makes all of us that Janis: 🤷 obvs not Jimmy: [back to the bar for more drinks excuse him] Janis: not getting an invite this time, alright Jimmy: so you need one every time, alright Janis: brb Janis: [🚬] Jimmy: no invite for no invite then, yeah Janis: reckon we both need a sec, yeah Jimmy: 👌 Janis: come have one if you want Janis: know this ain't about me and it's more shit for you and whatever but I can still need some space, can't I Jimmy: I said alright, didn't I Jimmy: two's a crowd, I get it Janis: whatever Janis: I knew this was a bad idea Jimmy: nobody said it was a good one Janis: 👌 Jimmy: if you wanna go, just go Jimmy: you don't need to be here Janis: you want me to Jimmy: is that a question Jimmy: I said if you want Janis: it's a question Jimmy: I want you to stay but Jimmy: if I don't want to then Janis: then I will Janis: not like anyone wants to be here Janis: but you asked Jimmy: leaving would piss him off more than owt we've done yet Jimmy: maybe we should just Janis: do you wanna, like obviously but Janis: is it worth it or do you wanna stick it out and just ruin the night some more Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: we could try letting Cass in on it, might make her hate us less Janis: worth a shot Janis: even if she's still mad with us, also permanently with him so Janis: text her Jimmy: one sec Jimmy: alright she's in & coming outside with me so hang on Janis: 👍 Janis: no one can resist being a dick to their 'rents Jimmy: or the lure of 🚬 take that 🚭 Jimmy: not that I'm gonna really let her but Jimmy: [comes out & has brought her drink with him cos good boy like that] Janis: so uncool, babe Jimmy: piss off Janis: [winks 'cos cheeky and takes drink and kisses his cheek] Jimmy: [Cass comes out just as he's kissing her properly cos typical so she's like 😒🤢] Janis: [makes a whoops soz face like] Jimmy: [is 🚬 & Cass is brainstorming out loud about pissing Ian off, first one being kicking Bobby under the table so he cries & Jimmy has be like probably don't lol] Janis: [lols 'cos 100% something she'd have done to grace] Jimmy: [Jimmy's like also encourage him to fuck shit up though like drawing on the table, kicking off, not staying put etc typical kid things that will annoy Ian] Janis: [She's like 'you should facetime your mate in the middle of food, like' to Cass] Jimmy: [actually gets a smile out of her before she remembers she hates them cos great idea] Janis: result Janis: [victory sip] Jimmy: [cheers' her drink with a nod that they should probably head back in, in a sec. Cass goes & does kick bobby 'accidentally' as she gets in her sit cos cool kid who don't have to listen to you Jimothy] Janis: [Ian shoulda ordered for them 'cos they 'weren't here' such a dickhead move] Jimmy: [Jimmy sets Bobby up doing art but he's still whinging cos nobody's trying to stop him rn except Ian who can't] Janis: just like you Jimmy: nah better Jimmy: I've told him to draw the gf so 🤞 it's unflattering or that'll backfire Janis: kids drawings always are Janis: they don't sugarcoat it Jimmy: the one he did of my dad was 🥇 Janis: mhmm Janis: tell him I'll pay him to do you later yeah Jimmy: tell him yourself he loves a chat with you Janis: dunno why Jimmy: SUCH a conversationalist Jimmy: [meanwhile Cass is name dropping their mum & talking about her to make Ian & the gf uncomfortable cos that would work amazingly but poor Jimmy is likewise feeling tense af] Jimmy: I'll be back in a sec Jimmy: [leaves the table again it's like musical chairs bitch] Janis: 👍 Janis: sure thing Jimmy: [is not back in a sec] Janis: lost, or purposefully 'lost' Janis: the starter sharing thing is here Jimmy: Ian would be devastated to have to eat my share, I'm sure Janis: there's only so much defensive eating me and Cass can do 'fore we chunder Janis: you alright? Jimmy: I just Jimmy: she did that to get at me too, you know Janis: probably Janis: she isn't doing it now, you can come back Janis: or I am can come to you, for a bit Jimmy: [comes back] Janis: [squeezing his hand under the table] Jimmy: [gets an eyelash for her but we both know it's just an excuse he's just soft] Janis: [real smile, real moment, sod everyone else] Jimmy: [smiles back & it's genuine too even though he's obvs still a sad boy] Janis: just tell me what you need, yeah Janis: anything Jimmy: you Jimmy: that's it Janis: seems bit too easy Janis: but alright then Janis: if you're sure Jimmy: don't be calling yourself too easy babe Jimmy: that's a bit rude Janis: 😏 Janis: bit true Jimmy: it's actually well untrue before me Janis: oh really Janis: #yourinfluence Jimmy: exactly Janis: 🙄 don't be cocky Jimmy: it's what you like about me though Jimmy: are you sure Janis: only sometimes Janis: and not about devirginizing me, tah Jimmy: it weren't my fault I did that Janis: not really about fault is it, div Jimmy: just saying you could've worn a badge or whatever Jimmy: sign round your neck that kinda thing Janis: [kicks him in the shin] Janis: you're such a dick Jimmy: oi 💔💔 Janis: don't oi me Janis: your fault Jimmy: I didn't do owt except point out you didn't look like a massive virgin Jimmy: which is a compliment Janis: you and compliments Janis: someone needs to re-explain to concept Jimmy: go on then Janis: okay, hold on Janis: [takes a large swig of her drink for effect] Jimmy: [shakes his head for effect] Janis: so, a compliment, is when you say something nice about a person Janis: not when you say something rude af and then add in some half-baked 'but I meant-' after the fact Janis: got it? Jimmy: say it slower & in a northern accent Janis: 😏 Janis: just stop trying with them, yeah Janis: that's a compromise I'm fine with Jimmy: 👌 Janis: then you can't get moody at me about it either Janis: win win Jimmy: or you could just accept 'em like I want Jimmy: that'd be a win win Janis: oh sure Janis: I'm so hard up I need 'didn't look like a massive virgin' Janis: 👌 Jimmy: alright it weren't my best one Janis: 😂 Janis: like I said, dickhead Janis: and clearly I didn't or you would've clocked it Jimmy: It weren't like I was looking for badges or neck signs Jimmy: unless one said like 🐇🍳 or 🔪💀 not gonna put me off Janis: oh tah Janis: 'cos it was such a big undertaking for you Janis: so much hassle Jimmy: shut up Janis: you said it, boy Jimmy: what are you on about Jimmy: no I never Janis: yeah you did Janis: why would it put you off Janis: not a disease Jimmy: it wouldn't Jimmy: which is what I said Janis: hmm Janis: easy to say now Jimmy: easy to say then too Jimmy: you know how bad I wanted you Janis: I weren't frigid alright Janis: it was just timing, that's all Jimmy: that dickhead made it clear, tah Janis: yeah Janis: well Janis: don't think I was waiting for someone special or anything weird Jimmy: I don't Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [let's all take a moment to appreciate the food Ian has ordered as it arrives] Janis: oh yum Janis: swap with me Jimmy: [does but is 😒 and all wtf is this out loud at Ian & then swaps with Cass like musical plates] Janis: Imma get one of those stupid big sundaes for dessert Jimmy: be quick about ordering it before my dad has a go for you first though Janis: I don't think he'd be ordering me one full stop Janis: why'd he get you all meaty shit and me a salad Janis: is he calling me fat 'cos that's just inaccurate, buy me a burger to fatten me up if anything Jimmy: sexism Jimmy: or being a tight bastard Jimmy: maybe both Jimmy: he could've got you nowt like you don't exist I suppose Janis: 😂 Janis: would've been funnier Janis: and then I coulda got something decent Jimmy: [just voicing all these complaints and more to Ian to annoy him while Cass 'eats' the salad by dramatically gagging etc & then nicking Bobby's plate which is a big drama] Janis: [takes the salad back to be mature about this, casually sharing meals here] Jimmy: [takes it off her & gives her his for good because love bitch] Janis: 💕 Jimmy: [Cass doing her facetiming before Ian has a chance to calm down lols] Jimmy: now that's 💕😍 Janis: deffo Janis: kinda feel usurped Janis: but it's cute Jimmy: you're cute Jimmy: [kisses her, not sorry Ian or his missus] Janis: actually so competitive Janis: I like it Jimmy: I know you do 💪🏆 Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt remember Janis: 'course Janis: how could I forget Jimmy: I ain't letting you Jimmy: [kisses her again even better] Janis: promise I didn't need it but Janis: never gonna turn down a reminder Jimmy: [draws the 👌👍's  on her leg with his finger cos that's always a mood] Janis: [holds his hands there for a while 'cos wanna] Jimmy: [writes ILY there too but like over and over cos extra] Janis: [kisses him 'soz everyone but not] Jimmy: [he's lowkey dying cos always does when she kisses him first but still not soz everyone] Janis: [Cass be gagging again] Jimmy: [throws salad at her cos v mature & lbr he don't wanna eat it] Janis: [feeds him some of hers like a romcom to really make everyone vom] Jimmy: so #goals Jimmy: you're gonna make my fake mum 😭 Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: having the evening she wanted for her Janis: #livevicariously Jimmy: #realitycheckbeforeitstimetowriteoutarealone Jimmy: [Bobby going so hard with the fake voming that he nearly chokes for real god bless] Janis: gonna actually 💀 with our love Jimmy: you just can't stop being 💕 Janis: does that mean you can Janis: 🤔 Jimmy: does that mean you want me to or you don't Janis: why would I want you to stop Jimmy: don't love a rom com you Janis: like I said, you ain't got it down so Janis: not too offensive Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [Ian dad of the year that he is decides to take Cass' phone cos still facetiming so that's all kicking off & is lovely] Jimmy: let's not go back with them, alright Janis: yeah Janis: alright Janis: we can go anywhere you want Jimmy: I don't care, I just Jimmy: want it to be us for a bit Janis: easy Janis: you're definitely owed at least a few hours of not thinking about Janis: any of this Jimmy: or anything Janis: exactly Janis: can give you that Janis: promise Jimmy: I'll give it you back too Jimmy: promise Janis: I know Janis: you always do Jimmy: [writes 'you' on her leg & a heart cos he's soft] Janis: [draws a heart on his but then a cross through it 'cos not soft her, nah] Janis: if you could live anywhere, like semi-realistically Janis: when you leave Janis: where would you go Jimmy: as long as it ain't back where I came from, I don't mind Jimmy: I ain't been nowhere else before here Jimmy: where do you wanna go? Janis: yeah Janis: I dunno either Janis: don't matter Janis: just not here Jimmy: easy done Jimmy: nowhere too hot though I'm too white & northern for that shit Janis: but you love short shorts 😂 Jimmy: yeah but pink ain't my colour babe Jimmy: nevermind 🦀 red Janis: 😍 will see me through Jimmy: be offering to suncream me up & doing 🎨 on my back Jimmy: 🍆 like Janis: not that predictable, how dare 😉 Jimmy: know what you're about Janis: getting to be really thorough with your sun care, yeah Janis: but I'd be way more creative Jimmy: yeah? Jimmy: what's your masterpiece gonna be then Janis: gonna just write northern twat probably Janis: or call for a good time Janis: possibilities are endless, babe Jimmy: 😂 Janis: probably stick with english speaking countries, you struggle enough as is Jimmy: that's your fault Jimmy: distracting me in every paddy lingo class I've ever been in & dragging me outta half my french ones Janis: okay, that can be my fault Janis: worth it and you know it Jimmy: you are Jimmy: you know it Janis: shut up Janis: got a no compliment rule remember Jimmy: make me Jimmy: it's a fact Janis: dork Janis: if I make you how you wanna he might actually keel over legit Jimmy: you agreed to 💀🔪 already so Jimmy: go on Janis: but I wanted dessert 😋 Jimmy: you still can Jimmy: my new mum will be alive Janis: sticking 'round to bury him and buy the milky bars Janis: what a babe Jimmy: & if she gets mardy 'cause he ain't a handsome corpse well Jimmy: you got me Jimmy: I'll get it Janis: thought you was offering yourself as a sexier corpse Janis: true but unnecessary Jimmy: sexy 👻 lad me Jimmy: ain't offering myself to her though tah Janis: don't Janis: she's no MILF Jimmy: she ain't got no kids unless Ian's offering to change that one way or another Jimmy: but I doubt tonight's the night either way Jimmy: even if he does stay alive Janis: mood #rekt babe Janis: no more brothers or sisters to raise, thank you Jimmy: 🎻🎻 for Ian's lost redemption arc only Janis: gutted Janis: #adoptdontshop Jimmy: now the 🐶's gutted 💔💔 Janis: poor baby Janis: truly Jimmy: 🤞 she's trashing the house & doing her bit Janis: would she do a thing like that Janis: 😇 Jimmy: you trained her so yeah Janis: my evil plan Jimmy: 😈 you Janis: [gives him a saucy look] Janis: don't forget Jimmy: [touches her under the table in a saucy way] Jimmy: don't forget what a perfect match we are Janis: [breathe, bitch] Janis: not gonna let you off that easy Janis: you're stuck Jimmy: nah Jimmy: I'm exactly where I wanna be Jimmy: [keeps touching her to prove his point] Janis: good Janis: I'm Janis: not mad about it either Jimmy: encouraging Jimmy: never off as my #muse you Jimmy: I'm so inspired right now Jimmy: [proves it] Janis: tough job but someone's gotta Janis: if you wanna be 🥇 Jimmy: & you know I do Jimmy: [is 😏 because peak under the table saucy behavior happening rn like] Janis: [casually grabbing his leg 'cos harder to be subtle than she reckoned] Jimmy: [gives her an innocent look like ?? while going harder than before cos he's so cheeky] Janis: you know how much I hate you Janis: yeah Jimmy: so much Jimmy: just don't make it obvious to everyone else Janis: I'm trying Janis: go easy on me Jimmy: if that's what you want, baby Jimmy: [is being a tease now lol] Janis: you're so Janis: 😑 Jimmy: say what you wanna say Janis: when can we leave Jimmy: as fast as you can order & eat the pudding you want Jimmy: that's how soon we can get out of here Janis: Baby Jimmy: ? Janis: I don't want it now Janis: you gonna make me sit here and eat a whole sundae when we could Jimmy: I was gonna make you share it with me actually but Jimmy: we can go Janis: you can have whatever you want, baby Jimmy: I only want you Janis: then let's go Janis: piss him off anyway Janis: height of rudeness Jimmy: I ain't offering to pay owt either Jimmy: he'll be 😭😭 Jimmy: come on Janis: [being blase af like toodles! lmao and essentially running for the door with him] Jimmy: [leg it lads] Janis: [dramatic af smooch outside 'cos love and they're free] Jimmy: where to then Janis: anywhere we can be alone Jimmy: [more kisses just because] Janis: ['I love you'] Jimmy: [says it back obvs] Janis: [says well done etc 'cos knows that was rough] Jimmy: [says tah & we know he really means for being there cos there's the look of love bitch like don't cry again boy] Janis: [shrugs like don't mention it and more kisses but more soft] Jimmy: [then some handholding & walking because gotta go somewhere kids] Janis: ['pub?'] Jimmy: [nods] Janis: [happy dork like 😊] Jimmy: [stops to kiss her again because she's so cute & happy & he can't not] Janis: they should do studies Janis: on how depressed parents make you Janis: I feel 10x better already being away from mine and yours, like Jimmy: [does a little lol but obvs same] Jimmy: when we get our own place, no keys for none of 'em Janis: don't even tell 'em where we are Janis: give 'em no chance to just pop 'round Jimmy: not like we need help with moving 💪 Janis: [also lols] Jimmy: [looks at her as if to say what are you laughing for I'm so strong & picks her up to show off] Janis: [rolls her eyes and is like 'here we go again' but loves it and is loling even more] Jimmy: [make out sesh to 'shut her up' but actually just wants to cos the lols get him] Janis: [look of love bitch] Jimmy: [we need a piggyback moment here so they can get where they need to be, run boy] Janis: [destination Janis: okay 💪 lad Janis: get the first 'round in Jimmy: [does] Jimmy: find us the loneliest corner you can, yeah Janis: 👍 Janis: you forgot who I am again? Jimmy: 'course not Jimmy: the name's Janet, right? Janis: think that was your da's bae, legit Janis: 🙄 thanks, mum and dad Janis: you dicks Jimmy: [lols I hope she can hear it from where she is while he's still at the bar & its not that loud] Janis: 💕 you cute as fuck Janis: I'd try and pull you if I saw you standing there, like Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: have your best crack at it Janis: seriously? Janis: require more chatting up than an actual boyfriend you do Jimmy: challenge refused? Jimmy: alright Janis: challenge? 🤔 Janis: #slag Jimmy: worked in your favor didn't it Jimmy: if we both played as hard to get as you, you'd still be a virgin & I'd be 💔 Janis: bit rude Janis: not my fault your chat is shocking Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: my sexts killed you, ain't my fault you want everything Janis: challenge refused? Janis: 👌 Jimmy: [is 😒 as he brings the drinks to her] Janis: [kisses his cheek and takes drink as per] Jimmy: [pouty boy be drinking] Janis: ['Baby'] Jimmy: [looks at her like ??] Janis: [smiles at] Janis: like that Janis: don't be grumpy Jimmy: [is trying his best to still be in a mard but she's so cute when she smiles that he can't help being 😍 every time] Janis: [its returned so] Jimmy: [kisses] Janis: ['even more like it'] Jimmy: [gestures that she should get even closer to him because standard] Janis: [snuggles into his side, head on his shoulder] Jimmy: [plays with her hair forever cos absolute fave mood] Janis: how can I miss you when I've been with you Janis: other people ruin it somehow, always Jimmy: there's your answer Jimmy: but when they try & ruin it for us we ruin it for them twice as much so Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: [little lol] Janis: true enough Jimmy: [more kisses cos of the cuteness of the lol] Janis: maybe next time we go, we could take the kids, win her back 'round Janis: at least temporarily Jimmy: [a genuinely happy big smile because that's a good idea] Janis: [shrugs like nbd] Janis: caravan's always there, like Janis: no one uses it much now Jimmy: [nods to downplay how KEEN he was just then lol] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: depending how much of a shit her little mates 'rents give, he could come Janis: then we only really have to look after Bobs Jimmy: reckon she'd talk 'em round easy even if they are actual parent of the year candidates Jimmy: long as she ain't gone off him by then Janis: subtle hint, babe Janis: keep me on my toes Jimmy: [little lol of his own] Janis: ah to be 12 again Jimmy: you're alright tah Jimmy: didn't know you then Janis: awh Janis: whatta smoothtalker Jimmy: just how it is Jimmy: life was as shit then as it is now basically Jimmy: you're the only diifference Janis: yeah Janis: things were slightly worse Janis: in theory anyway Jimmy: I'm taking that compliment Jimmy: nowt you can do to stop me Janis: fill your boots, lad Janis: know you need all the help you can get 😉 Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: [tickles her like excuse you] Janis: [punchy] Jimmy: [play fight moment] Janis: gonna get us kicked out, boy Janis: know it's rare you make it in, come on Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: that was one club one time Jimmy: if you'd told me you wanted me to dress like Jimmy: that Janis: [loling] Janis: I dunno if that would've worked entirely in your favour either, like Jimmy: it would've worked on you Jimmy: give a fuck about whoever else Janis: is it? Jimmy: deny it Jimmy: you'd have been well 😍😍😍 & 🤤 Janis: [makes 'psh' noise but ain't denying it] Jimmy: [gives her such a hot look] Janis: [rolls her eyes] Janis: it weren't no gay club Janis: that would've kinda defeated the point Jimmy: anywhere's a gay club if you want Jimmy: ask Barry Janis: would've been easier to spin that than random bitches, like Jimmy: they're easy enough to spin too though Janis: shut up Janis: idiot Jimmy: [is 😏] Janis: [is 😒] Jimmy: what's that face for? Janis: yours Jimmy: yeah you are Jimmy: so calm down Janis: piss off Jimmy: [pulls her closer to him as an unspoken no] Janis: mean it Janis: [but doesn't pull away] Jimmy: I mean it Jimmy: you're mine Jimmy: I wanted you then & I want you now Janis: [looking at him intense af] Jimmy: [holds her gaze as intensely of course] Janis: ['you're so'] Jimmy: [says ILY] Janis: [more desperate kissing] Jimmy: [puts her on his lap for more kisses because its been a minute & that's unheard of for them so] Janis: I still like you Janis: even though you are a bit of a dickhead Jimmy: you're the dickhead Jimmy: but I still like you too Janis: nah, don't lie Janis: you more than like me Jimmy: maybe Janis: definitely Jimmy: & you tell me not to be cocky Janis: come on Janis: you said it Janis: you want me so bad Jimmy: alright Janis: is that denial or agreeance Janis: can't tell Jimmy: I reckon you can Janis: [makes noise 'cos indecent] Janis: yeah but Janis: you know I like hearing it Jimmy: yeah but Jimmy: if I say it again what are you gonna do about it Janis: [gives him a look like 'do it and find out'] Jimmy: [tells her out loud giving her a LOOK the whole time] Janis: [after hot n heavy makeout, pulling on him like come on 'cos privacy needed] Jimmy: [don't need to tell him twice, on you go you two] Janis: [lowkey forgot the point of this convo lmao off you go into the night babes]
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Jimmy & Janis
Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Calm down Janis: almost as keen as him Jimmy: like a kid at a birthday you Jimmy: sort it out Janis: I know Janis: he's just SO interesting Jimmy: & HOT Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: like OMG Janis: 😂 Janis: when generations of inbreeding has done wonders for you and your bank account Janis: sign me up and get out the way, gracie Jimmy: I'll see myself out Jimmy: 💔 gutted Jimmy: call me later boy Janis: soz you can't compete 🤷 Jimmy: it ain't my fault I can feel the #nohomo from here Janis: just making you feel at home Janis: so considerate Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: falling for him Janis: do you reckon we've misunderstood the purpose of a double date or Jimmy: hang on, is it not that you're fucking him & your sister is fucking me? Jimmy: that's what I signed up for Janis: un🍀 Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: suppose I'll have to go home with you then Jimmy: bit rude but Janis: no one's more disappointed than I am Janis: trust Jimmy: yeah, I can feel it from you Janis: Can't feel nothing from there Janis: why do you have to sit opposite Janis: has she made that up Jimmy: for the 😍 to really hit Jimmy: [gives her a genuinely sexy look though] Janis: stop that Jimmy: that's what the seating plan is actually for Jimmy: your sister can't play hard to get if he can touch her under the table Jimmy: & neither can you Janis: 😒 Janis: really Jimmy: really Janis: behave Janis: this is a fancy establishment Jimmy: you working here? Janis: I don't work Janis: I distract other people from theirs Jimmy: then I ain't gotta Jimmy: do nowt Jimmy: especially behave Janis: gotta do something Janis: operation piss mia off Jimmy: I'm here looking the part Jimmy: job done Jimmy: this is operation drink you under the table, lightweight Janis: then we need more drinks Janis: not asking him, probably click his fingers Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: be a hero Janis: yours Janis: i know 💪 Jimmy: save me from this & I'll think about it Janis: [gets drinks] Jimmy: [does a glass clink but just with her cos he rude] Janis: 🥂 Janis: You're on Jimmy: [downs half of his drink (only half cos money & he ain't gonna her order more straight away like a tit) 'cause 1.challenge accepted but 2.he needs it 'cause lord this date Janis: [keeps up and then some 'cos that bitch] Janis: when can we leave Jimmy: now? Janis: wanted to run up more of a bill to leave him with Janis: but christ Jimmy: Grace'll do it Jimmy: we both know fake 💕 when we see 'em Janis: experts Jimmy: she's decent at this Jimmy: not as good as me but 🥈 Janis: makes a life out of it so should hope so Jimmy: you should've got some tips mate Janis: fuck off 🙄 Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: alright Jimmy: in a bit Jimmy: [downs his drink & gets up but only going to the toilet lbr not leaving] Janis: you're such an idiot Jimmy: you love me Jimmy: so you're the idiot Janis: I can change Janis: you'll always be a dickhead Jimmy: change into a bigger dickhead, yeah Janis: one that don't fuck w you though so Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: [comes back & with more drinks but puts both of 'em next to him cos he's a child] Janis: 'scuse me Jimmy: ? Janis: play fair Jimmy: [gives her a look like idk what you mean cos nerd] Jimmy: be nice to me Janis: [has to lean over and grab drink excuse me everyone] Janis: you Jimmy: [has to lean over & kiss her excuse him everyone] Janis: 😏 Janis: reckon I'm well in Jimmy: don't you reckon you need some more drinks first Jimmy: he's a bit Jimmy: what's the word? keen Janis: Hmm Janis: true Janis: and I'm no lightweight so Jimmy: still only got your word on that Janis: play your cards right and you'll see 🍀 Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: come to mine though Jimmy: my dad'll love how pissed you'll be Jimmy: might as well piss him off tonight too Janis: 🙄 Not the rep I'm after but bit late to salvage what we coulda had, Ian so Janis: 👍 Jimmy: do call him Ian in a bit 👍 Jimmy: 😂 Janis: Mr Taylor? Janis: ew Janis: you ain't a teacher Jimmy: that much of a dickhead Jimmy: & got the ☕ breath Janis: 😬 Janis: not planning to get that familiar thank you Jimmy: bet he's 💔💔 Jimmy: thin line between love & hate Janis: 😂 Janis: obvs Janis: everyone loves me Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: so 😎 Jimmy: 🚬 break, cool girl? Jimmy: or your sister got you 🚭 Janis: ha, she wishes Janis: let's go Jimmy: [takes off the shirt before they go outside cos gotta return that shit can't be getting smoke on it, good thing he ain't topless that'd be awks] Janis: 😳 steady on Janis: make it more obvious, lad Jimmy: that's what we're here for Jimmy: being #goals Jimmy: & I am so Janis: [walking n talking obvs] Janis: you reckon I ain't pulling my weight? Janis: rude Jimmy: just trying to keep you on top, babe Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt like Janis: I remember how much you liked that Janis: don't worry Jimmy: 😳 you steady on Janis: 🚬 about it, baby Jimmy: til I can 🎨 Jimmy: you'll like that Janis: obvs 😍 Jimmy: I ain't forgot you need that nude Jimmy: & twitter Jimmy: & the world Janis: Shh Jimmy: make me Janis: [smoochin'] Jimmy: you fucked up Jimmy: meant to be goals in there not out here Janis: You want me to stop? Jimmy: can you? Jimmy: always #goals you Janis: cross to bear, like Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: me too Janis: that's why we're a team Jimmy: 🏆💪 Janis: and you know Janis: who else was gonna fake date you Jimmy: you know there was a town full of lasses who would Janis: only got your word for that Jimmy: if that's a challenge you also know I'll accept it Janis: no Janis: [pouty face] Jimmy: [kisses but does the hot pull in the pouty lip thing cos you gotta] Janis: I already don't wanna go back in Janis: don't need to convince me Jimmy: you want me to stop? Janis: [goes in 'cos obviously not] Jimmy: what if we just don't go back in Janis: but your beautiful pink shirt Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Jimmy: buy me a new one, rich girl Janis: 😏 buy you a better one maybe Janis: [is looking at phone and not replying 'cos Grace be blowing it up] Jimmy: nowt hard 'bout that Jimmy: you just wanna get me in the changing room Jimmy: obvious you Janis: 'scuse me tryna fufill your broken promises, bitch Jimmy: that why you're ignoring me Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: I ain't my fault you wanted to stay in bed, girl Janis: nah, it's her SOSing Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: told you, can't play hard to get when Jimmy: gimme your phone Jimmy: gotta reply to my girl really quick Janis: 😑 Janis: fine Janis: you go back and be a hero, I'll go Jimmy: where you go, I go Jimmy: remember Janis: wanna go see your girlfriend then or what Jimmy: I'm looking at her Jimmy: [is] Janis: Nerd Jimmy: [kisses her for encouragement cos they a team & they can do this] Janis: once more unto the breach, my friend Jimmy: she'll only fuck it up if we don't Janis: 🤷 Janis: he wishes Jimmy: I didn't wear pink so you could shrug Jimmy: & Mia could win Jimmy: get it together Janis: thought you were #experimenting now you're free Jimmy: free of the north not the mindset Jimmy: my masculinity is way too fragile Jimmy: so come on Jimmy: [slaps her booty like they do in sports for some reason] Janis: [shoves him yeah you mind so much] Janis: 👌 Jimmy: [back at the table like hey guys] Jimmy: 💕 Janis: She's not been assaulted, job done Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: still got yours to do though, mate Jimmy: 🍹 Janis: [more drinks more drinks] Janis: catch up boy Jimmy: [does] Janis: how you feeling, lightweight Janis: 🤔 Jimmy: good as you look Jimmy: so come over here & be #goals for the 📷 Janis: You being nice again now? Jimmy: when weren't I Janis: not got the time to list Janis: not very #goals Janis: let me count all the ways Janis: you are a massive dickhead Janis: 💕 Jimmy: we can go now Jimmy: you've proved what a romantic you are Janis: not the challenge is it Janis: 🍾 Jimmy: you've also proved you can't handle your drink about as many times Janis: why you giving up? Jimmy: as much as you need the chance Jimmy: nah Janis: [is about to try and leave when Grace drags her to the bathroom] Janis: help.me. Jimmy: say I'm having a medical emergency Jimmy: always works that Janis: what, my jimmy senses are tingling Janis: he's trapped down a well again gotta go bye Jimmy: alright well if I come in & just start kissing you, what's she gonna do? Jimmy: hang on Janis: not entirely sure we wanna find out Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: tell her I said this lad is flirting with a waitress Jimmy: that'll get her moving Janis: 👍 idea Janis: also tah for not taking your chance w him yourself Jimmy: I thought about it but he keeps getting olives in his drinks Janis: sexy Janis: cunt think he's james bond or Jimmy: probably Jimmy: though I don't reckon trying to look up lass' skirts technically makes you a spy Janis: 😂 Janis: she's fuming I ain't listening now 'cos actually lol Jimmy: I'm fuming I can't smack this dickhead like I did the one from the other night Janis: don't even need to be quick about it she's still going a mile a minute in here Janis: avoid the face if you wanna keep it hush Janis: #amatuerian Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: if you don't hurry up you're gonna be so many drinks behind, girl Jimmy: downing 'em since I can't drop him Janis: that bad Jimmy: he's trying to have #ladbants with me Jimmy: I'd rather alcohol poisoning Janis: really gotta come save you Janis: [casually walks out like enough now grace] Jimmy: come here Jimmy: actually need you Janis: [forever lap sitting like you gon be getting looks in this place] Janis: hey Janis: what's up Jimmy: [lil make out moment cos gotta take what you can get ladies & it can go on the story for Mia so win win] Janis: that made all the rest of this almost worth it Jimmy: almost? Jimmy: [make out x 2 cos gotta do better than almost] Janis: just wanted to do it again Janis: did the first time but Jimmy: we can do this all night Jimmy: but let's also do shots Janis: oh you're THAT dickhead, yeah? 😏 Janis: alright, easy 💪 Jimmy: what kind? Jimmy: if you mean the winning kind then yeah Janis: I mean SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS Janis: idk why you wouldn't talk to Janis: ryan Janis: so much in common Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: trying to keep things bearable without fucking you at the table is the kind of dickhead I am Janis: 😳 Jimmy: [gets shots brought to 'em cos doesn't want her to have to move basically ever] Janis: [gets straight on it 'cos rather think she was pink from being tipsy like] Jimmy: [also has to get straight on it 'cos she has] Jimmy: for a fancy place it don't taste no different Jimmy: bit rude Janis: was you expecting to taste the stars, babe? Janis: you're cute Jimmy: you're pretty Jimmy: snide to me though Janis: Am not! Janis: name one time Jimmy: literally just then, diickhead Janis: I meant it Janis: 😒 Janis: never being nice to you ever again Jimmy: really Janis: really Janis: this is my serious face Janis: [is not, dork] Jimmy: [whispers in her ear 'but what if I'm nice to you, are you not gonna be nice back?' and does the earlobe thing cos rude] Janis: [whispers back 'are you gonna?' 'cos how does it feel jimothy the tables hath turned] Jimmy: [kisses her again cos what can he say, she got him good there] Janis: It's a start Jimmy: I can start something anytime to you want Jimmy: [touches her under the table but in a teasing like don't test me way not like WE'RE DOING THIS] Janis: boy Jimmy: ? Jimmy: too nice? Jimmy: 👌 Janis: too something Janis: i hate you you know Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: loud & clear 'bout it, babe Janis: 👍 Janis: don't wanna get it twisted here Jimmy: 'course not Janis: where do you wanna go after this hell is over Jimmy: where do you wanna go? Janis: was just wondering if you wanted to keep being a ladladlad Jimmy: if it means I can drink more & get in a fight Jimmy: then alright Janis: 😎 Janis: let's find somewhere not shit then Jimmy: get on it, local girl Jimmy: impress me Janis: been there, done that Janis: you think of an excuse while I'm pondering Jimmy: why do we need one? Janis: you reckon gracie is gonna let you just silently bow out Janis: there's only 4 of us, bit obvious, babe Jimmy: we done our bit Jimmy: & she don't need me to hold her hair back tonight so Jimmy: supposed to leave him wanting more not drag this shit out til we're all 💀 Janis: 🤢 Janis: x2 Janis: you'll make yourself sick again Jimmy: what are you on about? Jimmy: I weren't Janis: nearly Janis: poorly ted Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: misremembering you Janis: nah Janis: remember everything Jimmy: easy to say Janis: test me Jimmy: What colour was Bethany's punch bowl from 1997? Janis: 😏 you're going with that Janis: one of those mixing bowls everyone's ma has Janis: mustardy Jimmy: 👍 Janis: memory of an 🐘 me Jimmy: I'll remember that Janis: 🙄😂 Janis: dad jokes Jimmy: you called me a good dad that night so it felt appropriate Janis: shoe fits, cinders Jimmy: only left one baby in the CG 🏆 Janis: that you know of Jimmy: get it right, babe, coulda left 100s up north Jimmy: unless you got summat to tell me there ain't no more round here Janis: why do you think pete was off Janis: dundundun Jimmy: you knocked up Pete? Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: he had a great career ahead of him Janis: I know Janis: and body Janis: #ruined Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Jimmy: so selfish you Janis: life-ruiner Janis: don't you know Jimmy: you did warn me 'bout mine but I reckoned you'd leave Pete out Jimmy: so innocent him Jimmy: 😭😭 Janis: such a bitch Janis: i know i know Janis: least i'm rich Janis: get that child support, boy Jimmy: oi do you want summat money can't buy? Janis: ? Janis: intrigued Jimmy: lower your expectations first Jimmy: [gives her a napkin that he drew a pisstaking doodle of this lad on when he was left alone with] Jimmy: stole that from the bar 'cause he ain't worth a tapestry Janis: [loves it] Janis: still might frame it Janis: put it in gracie's room, freak her out Jimmy: [actually lols] Janis: [heart eyes motherfucker] Janis: k we're going Jimmy: one sec Jimmy: [kisses her 'cause one for the road, just gotta annoy everyone for a last time] Jimmy: alright Janis: Idiot Janis: [takes his hand and bounces] Jimmy: so where we headed? Janis: you like surprises? Jimmy: depends Janis: let's go with yeah Jimmy: make me Janis: that's the plan Jimmy: [🚬s & struts cos that dickhead] Janis: [catches up 'cos not hard w dem legs and takes it 'cos cheeky] Jimmy: rude Jimmy: [playfight cos its been ages] Janis: you know I'm always gonna win, babe Jimmy: only 'cause I gotta let you Jimmy: such a girl Janis: Now it suits ya Janis: dickhead Jimmy: It ain't my fault winning suits you Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: #whipped 😘 Jimmy: on the 'gram maybe Jimmy: nowt real Janis: mhmm Jimmy: you trying to start a real brawl now then? Janis: 😂 Janis: Pretty bold for a boy who just got his ass handed to him aren't ya Jimmy: listen, I told you, I had to let you win Janis: okay, something you don't have to let me win in Janis: race ya Janis: [bolts shameless cheat] Jimmy: [don't move] Jimmy: piss off am I running Janis: [shouts] CAN'T HEAR YOU Jimmy: you too drunk to read already yeah? Janis: [jogging on the spot] keep up then pussy Janis: or you'll get lost Janis: AGAIN Jimmy: [stubbornly stays] Jimmy: someone'll find me Janis: Have fun with someone then Janis: 🤞 it ain't them coming out Jimmy: do worse than that threesome Jimmy: bet he loves a mirror more than that other lad Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you are disgusting Jimmy: if you throw up, you lose Janis: 1. if i threw up so would you so Janis: 2. you ain't gonna find out if you're so busy being basic with your bffs so so Jimmy: piss off Janis: moody Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: [sends location and not that far so] Janis: if you stop being boring Jimmy: you stop Janis: what Jimmy: being the world's biggest dickhead Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: [is ignoring cos gutted] Janis: are you seriously not coming Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: this is ridiculous Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: be like that then Jimmy: you started it Janis: I didn't do nothing wrong Jimmy: be like that then Janis: what Janis: what's the problem Jimmy: nowt Janis: then come on Janis: you wanted to go out somewhere not shit Janis: I ain't gone in, I'm out front Jimmy: & now I don't Janis: alright Janis: fuck you and all then Jimmy: fuck me 'cause you're being Jimmy: alright Jimmy: 🖕 Janis: being what Janis: I'd have come back if you were that arsed Jimmy: just Janis: I don't get it Jimmy: I know Janis: see you 'round then Jimmy: will you? Janis: I don't know, will I? Janis: wanna make that into a game Janis: why not Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: it's not Jimmy: that's why not Janis: don't tell me to shut up Jimmy: don't chat shit Janis: How am I Jimmy: I just told you, it ain't a game Jimmy: don't say that Janis: it ain't to me either Janis: but Janis: what the fuck Jimmy: leave it out Janis: I will, I'll leave you alone Jimmy: you already have Jimmy: 👍 Janis: what Jimmy: I'm alone now, aren't I Janis: I'd only have to walk like Janis: 20 steps and I could see you Jimmy: don't take the piss out of me Janis: I ain't Janis: but I don't know why you're so mad about it Jimmy: you are though so Janis: you clearly wanna be in a mood Janis: or want an out so yeah Janis: if you like, sure Jimmy: I'm in a mood you put me in Janis: 👍 Janis: alright Jimmy: I wanna go home so I am Jimmy: nowt else Janis: like I said, see you around then Jimmy: 👌 Janis: [walks past] Jimmy: [is literally just hanging around moodily 🚬 cos don't wanna go home so can't pretend he don't see her] Janis: you got money for bus or what Jimmy: I'm walking Jimmy: [but isn't cos literally ain't moved have you boy] Janis: Jim Jimmy: ? Janis: this is bollocks Janis: talk to me Jimmy: & say what Jimmy: you just said it's bollocks Janis: I meant Janis: I don't care about this enough to fight Janis: how can I Janis: I keep telling you I don't even know what this is Jimmy: then don't Jimmy: don't care about it Jimmy: don't fight me Jimmy: whatever Janis: tell me what I should do Janis: not what I shouldnt Jimmy: how do I know? Jimmy: you left me Jimmy: & it's bollocks Janis: but I didn't Janis: I'm here Janis: I was just Jimmy: & at the party too Jimmy: you were just Jimmy: you just walk away from me all the time Janis: when at the party? Jimmy: when we had to chase each other around the place Janis: I don't know if I remember but Janis: I don't do it on purpose Janis: I didn't know it was something I was doing Jimmy: it don't matter Jimmy: like you said, who cares Janis: well it obviously does Jimmy: nah Janis: you gonna be my mate again then Jimmy: [does a lil lol can't help it] Jimmy: don't be funny right now Jimmy: it's not Janis: sorry Janis: can't stop being #goals ever, you know that Jimmy: yeah, massive burden that Janis: do you want me to go Jimmy: do you want to? Janis: No Janis: I told you Jimmy: what do you want then? Janis: Just talk to me Janis: like it was before Janis: tell me how to fix it if I've gotta Jimmy: I don't know Janis: you saying I can't or give you time Janis: just tell me that at least Jimmy: I'm just saying go if you're going Janis: I'm not Janis: I wasn't trying to go Jimmy: you weren't Janis: no Janis: just take you somewhere worth being Janis: just us Jimmy: do you still wanna? Janis: do you? Jimmy: that's not an answer Janis: well, obviously I do Jimmy: then let's go Janis: yeah? Janis: okay Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: okay Jimmy: [the deepest of deep breaths to ever] Janis: [not sure if she should or nah so gives him a tentative shoulder squeeze like idk but I wanna] Jimmy: [hugs her for ages 'cause is there ever a moment when they don't need comfort goddamn these babies] Janis: [kisses him full of soft love bitch] Jimmy: I'm sorry Janis: Me too Jimmy: I still like you Janis: Good Janis: swear Jimmy: [kisses her again so I don't drop the other L word] Janis: [puts her hand out] Janis: let's go Jimmy: [let's get 'em in there] Jimmy: [gets drinks immediately 'cause 1.challenge & 2. needs to 'forget' any of that happened] Janis: 🥂 Slainte Jimmy: cheers Jimmy: [downs it for the above reasons] Janis: you really wanna win, yeah Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: or nowt Jimmy: remember Janis: I do Janis: [lbr isn't far behind 'cos stressed] Jimmy: [gets more drinks] Janis: what you reckon then Janis: anyone you wanna brawl in here Jimmy: not so far Jimmy: you? Janis: I'm good Janis: night's still young-ish Jimmy: thank feck for that Jimmy: need that craic you Janis: calling me boring Janis: rude Jimmy: that was you about me Jimmy: was a bit rude Janis: shh Janis: you said you didn't wanna brawl Jimmy: I don't Jimmy: not you Jimmy: [doesn't, like would literally have been touching her in some small way constantly since she put her hand out 'cause soft boy] Janis: Good Janis: [snuggles into him sim style] Jimmy: I really fucking like you Janis: I know Janis: me too Janis: [more soft kissing] Jimmy: [more sim style snuggling and him playing with her hair cos SOFTEST] Janis: [whispers 'please don't be mad at me again'] Jimmy: I wasn't Jimmy: I don't Jimmy: you just Jimmy: don't scare me again, alright Janis: I didn't mean to Janis: I'm sorry Jimmy: [more kisses because IT'S ALRIGHT BABE IT AIN'T YOU & WE KNOW THAT] Janis: I'm just bad at all this stuff Jimmy: you're not Jimmy: you're Jimmy: like perfect Jimmy: it's why I need you to stay Janis: well, I ain't Janis: but I ain't going anywhere either so Jimmy: [is heart eyes cos she is & we know it] Janis: you're so Jimmy: stupid, yeah Jimmy: I know I fucked up Jimmy: again Janis: that's not what I was gonna say shut up Janis: and you didn't Janis: everything's fixable, yeah Jimmy: I'm shutting up Jimmy: [finishes drink number whatever the fuck] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: but Janis: tell me things too yeah Janis: just to be awkward about it Janis: [dranks] Jimmy: what do you want me to tell you, awkward girl? Janis: when i fuck up Janis: lemme sort it Janis: only fair right Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: but you didn't Jimmy: I'm just weird Janis: maybe Janis: but so am I Janis: that's how we like it right Jimmy: [clinks their empty glasses cos yeah bitch & goes to get more] Janis: It's a good thing School doesn't start tomorrow Jimmy: you admitting you can't handle your drink? Janis: nah Janis: admitting I don't wanna do first day back with a hangover Jimmy: I don't wanna do first day back Jimmy: let's just not Janis: not like we'll miss anything important Janis: ever, tbh Jimmy: think of summat you wanna do/where you wanna go Jimmy: whatever it is, challenge accepted Janis: okay Janis: but can we get back in bed once your dad's gone 'cos fuck you Janis: for a bit Janis: I'll put away the 😍 to plan Jimmy: I ain't gonna refuse Jimmy: even if my dad was your #1 fan Jimmy: but you have to multitask 😍 & planning Janis: that's be even more uncomfortable tbh Janis: alright Janis: easy 💪 Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: you know it babe Jimmy: [kisses but less soft & more hot cos he does know it] Janis: reminding me why we're a team Janis: alright Jimmy: if you reckon you need reminding I better not stop Jimmy: [doesn't] Janis: poor choice of word Janis: not all poets like pete Jimmy: so you do want me to stop Jimmy: 'cause you're thinking of Pete Jimmy: alright Janis: why would that mean stop 😏 Jimmy: you can't think about him when I'm being distracting Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: still working on the multitasking thing, yeah Janis: shh Janis: don't stop Janis: please Jimmy: [kisses her again but goes harder cos she said please] Janis: [indicates at the empties and goes up to get more 'cos damn what a night] Jimmy: [drinks but not as dramatically cos soft boy has been reassured thanks] Janis: are you even tipsy Jimmy: how drunk are you? Janis: I can't say Janis: that's the challenge but I need comparison Jimmy: you want me to say Jimmy: sneaky you Janis: not sneaky Janis: you reckon you can handle yours so we're just testing me really Janis: 👀 tell me tell me Jimmy: I can feel it Jimmy: but maybe its just you making me feel Janis: such a little sweet talker Jimmy: it's no line, you just make me all 😳 Jimmy: what do you feel like? Jimmy: gimme a hint Janis: [kisses him the hardest yet 'cos] Janis: like that Jimmy: & you're still standing Jimmy: impressive Jimmy: what are you after if you win then? Janis: 🤔 Jimmy: [lil make out while she's thinking] Janis: you're giving me lots of ideas right now Janis: very inspiring Jimmy: [goes the hardest he has yet obvs] Janis: you won't be too sore a loser, will you baby? Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: but only 'cause I want you to make it better Jimmy: if I'm so sore, what are you gonna do? Janis: fuck Janis: show me where you need and I'll kiss it all better Jimmy: [kisses her neck in a really sexy way cos they in a mood now] Jimmy: it'd be a start I reckon Jimmy: if you just Jimmy: [keeps going but does more cos rude] Janis: just like that? Janis: [mirrors what he's doing] Jimmy: fuck Jimmy: that's Janis: starting to feel a bit better? Jimmy: I thought I would but Jimmy: now I just ache Janis: Baby boy Janis: [covering him in kisses and sliding onto his lap, yet again] Jimmy: [has to keep kissing her so he doesn't make all the sounds which nobody else needs to hear excuse you] Janis: I can Janis: I can feel you Jimmy: can you touch me Janis: [does] Janis: you're gonna have to kiss me to keep quiet Jimmy: [blatantly does have to] Janis: I missed you Janis: [keeping up sexy eye contact] Jimmy: I missed you too Jimmy: so much Janis: I really like you so, so much Jimmy: I really really like you Jimmy: you're Janis: God I Jimmy: say it Janis: You mean it Jimmy: don't stop yourself Jimmy: don't stop any of it Janis: you don't know what I wanna say Jimmy: but I want to hear you say everything you want Janis: [has to go harder on what she's doing like girl shh] Jimmy: shit Jimmy: [has to kiss her harder cos damn] Janis: I'm gonna fuck you so hard Jimmy: I know baby Jimmy: I can Jimmy: feel that Janis: you're so hot Jimmy: you Janis: these jeans are yours, aren't they Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: it's alright Janis: thank god Janis: you can feel me some more Jimmy: I Janis: You Janis: you're so good, Jimmy Jimmy: [says her name cos can't even help it at this point] Janis: [shushing him with kisses but is smirking so smug] Jimmy: is anyone looking at us? Janis: [has to look 'cos do you ever care lads?] Janis: maybe but they looked away when I did Janis: why? Jimmy: we can't get kicked out of here yet Jimmy: I need Janis: I'll be good Jimmy: you are Janis: want me to stop though? Jimmy: please don't Janis: I'm so glad because Janis: I really don't want to Janis: this is Jimmy: [kissing her so he don't say anything OTT or make even more noise cos boy I'll kill you] Janis: you taste so Janis: I think I'm drunk now Jimmy: I think you're 🥇 Jimmy: so fucking Janis: One day you're gonna tell me everything you hold back Janis: and I'm gonna fucking Jimmy: [kisses because I nearly fucking typed it SOS] Janis: You look so Janis: damn Jimmy: you Jimmy: you're so beautiful Janis: where did you even come from like Janis: how did this happen Jimmy: thank your sister in a bit if you're pissed enough Janis: rather thank you Janis: if it's all the same Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I'm in no position to argue Janis: hell yeah you ain't Jimmy: so be nice to me Jimmy: please Janis: shit Janis: how nice Jimmy: I need you to be really nice to me Janis: I mean Janis: do you want me to make you cum here Jimmy: I do but Jimmy: I don't wanna get you in trouble Janis: we'll both get into trouble, drag you down with me Janis: but okay Janis: wanna find somewhere Jimmy: I'm gonna need a sec if we're moving Janis: I don't wanna Janis: just be good, keep kissing me Jimmy: you're so good though Janis: for you Jimmy: don't look at me like that Jimmy: I'm Janis: close Janis: I can feel it Jimmy: baby Janis: let it happen Janis: I'll keep us out of trouble Jimmy: I trust you Jimmy: you know Janis: I know Janis: I'll show you you can Jimmy: alright Janis: I'm being so good 😇 Janis: you know how badly I wanna just move all our clothes to the side and ride you 'til we both cum right now Janis: like, where's my 🥇 Jimmy: I know Jimmy: I want that too Janis: when we get back to yours Janis: or somewhere slightly less public, at least Jimmy: I promise I'll fuck you long before we get to my house Jimmy: it'll take ages Janis: see, when you're nice you're very nice Jimmy: I'm selfish Jimmy: I wanna see it Jimmy: hear it Jimmy: all of that before then Janis: i want it too so Janis: be as selfish with me as you like Jimmy: we could do it now Jimmy: just like you said Janis: can we Jimmy: it's loud in here Jimmy: louder than your brother's van Janis: true Janis: fuck Janis: we're actually doing this okay Jimmy: we don't have to Jimmy: but you want to Jimmy: I want to Janis: I need to Janis: I feel so Jimmy: we need to be quiet though Jimmy: show me again Jimmy: how do I Janis: yeah Janis: alright Janis: [leans forward to do the repositioning they need to do and bites his lip pretty hard when she sits back down, pulling him toward her] Janis: don't be afraid of a little pain, it's good Jimmy: I'm not scared Jimmy: I feel like Janis: like you can do anything Janis: me too Janis: we can Jimmy: I don't care about anything but you Jimmy: this Janis: this is all that matters right now Janis: all that other shit is gone it's just how fucking Janis: perfect you feel Jimmy: you're the best thing that's ever happened to me Jimmy: literally ever Janis: Jimmy Janis: [has to kiss him or the sounds and the l word like lord playing with fire kids] Jimmy: you look Janis: stay Janis: okay Jimmy: where else would I be going? Jimmy: I need to be right here right now Janis: good, don't Janis: let's keep it going long as we can okay Jimmy: not just gonna bin my 🥇 Janis: just checking Janis: cos this is Jimmy: it's Jimmy: [has to kiss her for being quiet reasons not me trying to type ILY for once] Janis: [letting out them sounds in his ear 'cos don't waste 'em] Jimmy: Janis Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: I can't fucking say it as loud as I want so take it Jimmy: like I can't remember when I didn't even know what your name was Janis: I can't Janis: begin to explain how fucking glad I am I met you Janis: and I wanna take it bad, so fuck loud give it to me hard Jimmy: I can feel how glad you are & it's Jimmy: [also does cos too late now to have any chill] Janis: Oh my God I Jimmy: I know Jimmy: I'm Janis: Please do it Janis: I'm ready I want it Jimmy: fuck Jimmy: I'm gonna Janis: cum in me baby Jimmy: [how polite to just do what you're told like that Jimothy] Janis: I Janis: did we just do that Jimmy: I can still feel it so Janis: I fucking Janis: I have no words I don't know why I'm trying Jimmy: don't dump me when I can't compete with that in a bit Janis: never Janis: you're always good Janis: good not being a good enough word Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: #same not being a good enough # Janis: you're stuck with me for a bit Janis: said you don't mind Jimmy: I want you Jimmy: even more than I want a 🚬 & not to have to look any of these dickheads in the eye Jimmy: which right now is a lot Janis: genuinely have no idea how loud or quiet or plain obvious we were then Janis: my brain couldn't even care Janis: we should probably take that 🚬 and run though, just in case Jimmy: I stopped thinking properly ages ago Jimmy: but you're full of good ideas so let's go with 'em Jimmy: you wanna go home or just somewhere else where we ain't fucked in front of everyone? Janis: very inspiring, I told you Janis: kinda just wanna go home but gimme a minute and we'll see 'cos I still can't think of anything but you so Jimmy: [takes her hand so they can go for that 🚬] Jimmy: you're shaking still Janis: I know Janis: I feel like you'd only have to look at me right now and I could cum again it's Janis: crazy Jimmy: let's get outside & I'll see what I can do Jimmy: [does look at her though cos cheeky] Janis: oi Jimmy: ? Janis: I'm so serious Janis: I'll die Jimmy: I'm serious Jimmy: like you said, the night's young-ish Janis: Gimme 🚬 time to recover though Jimmy: [lights up & passes it to her 'cause that's love bitch] Janis: 😊 Jimmy: I know Jimmy: #goals Janis: are though Janis: actual Janis: bit rude Jimmy: can't stop Jimmy: which is a bit rude Jimmy: soz Janis: let you off Janis: long as you don't Jimmy: [kisses her to show that he'll keep being #goals forever] Janis: hope you didn't like that pub too much Janis: can't go back now Jimmy: I already don't remember nowt about it Jimmy: your fault Janis: 🤷 Janis: taking that as a win Jimmy: it'll make the loss of being a lightweight easier babe Janis: that's your fault, I told you Janis: what do you want for winning then Jimmy: I don't reckon I can ask for owt after that Jimmy: be a dickhead wouldn't I Janis: but you are, babe Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: I like it Jimmy: I like you Jimmy: 💕 Janis: [Snuggles 'cos shh] Jimmy: [after much snuggling and smoking time] Jimmy: where we going then? Janis: I don't care Janis: anywhere we can get lost Jimmy: we'll just walk then Jimmy: come on Janis: [hand holding cuteness] Jimmy: [shit club looms] Jimmy: up for the challenge? Janis: 😣🔫 Janis: nothing challenging 'bout it but the company Janis: go on though Jimmy: for you you're a hot girl Jimmy: might have to have that fight me Janis: will if anyone tries to dance with you Jimmy: if anyone tries to dance with you Jimmy: I will give 'em a smack yeah Janis: so goals us Jimmy: get it on 📷 when I win Jimmy: 🏆💪 Janis: be nice for you to win for once 😉 Jimmy: piss off Janis: nice for me too Janis: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: now we gotta go in Jimmy: can't turn down a challenge like that Janis: 💪 Janis: [is in] Jimmy: [takes her straight to the dance floor cos we know what we're here for lads] Janis: you're actually good at this Jimmy: I get it, I'm white Jimmy: but you don't have to sound so #shook Janis: 😂 Janis: I'm just saying Janis: worth 🥊 for Jimmy: you just out romantic-ed yourself Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: get me on twitter or a rooftop Janis: wish I was living that lavish 🤑 Janis: soz babe Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: that bloke there looks really lavish Jimmy: crack on Janis: Back to trying to hoe me out Janis: thought we were past that 😕 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: just trying to keep you playing to your strengths babe Janis: so you can get on the 'gram for the flex Janis: 😒 Jimmy: #duh Jimmy: nowt else matters Janis: Mean Janis: Imma push you off this imaginary roof Jimmy: you can try 💪 Janis: be nice Jimmy: [dancing in a sexy way that's gonna feel really nice cos shameless boy] Janis: Oh Jimmy: something you wanna say? Janis: lots of things but Jimmy: but you're speechless 'cause of how hot I am Jimmy: I get it Janis: oh, thanks Janis: that really turned me off Janis: so thoughtful Jimmy: all part of the deal Janis: I must've forgot that part Jimmy: [actually lols cos where's the lie she turns him on all the time] Jimmy: you really fucked up the whole virgin thing Jimmy: meant to know nowt about turning people on Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: sounding like my sister Jimmy: actually just 💔 me Jimmy: gonna go throw up right now & then sign up for youtube Janis: 😂 Janis: what are you gonna tutorial, babe Jimmy: who knows Jimmy: good at everything me Janis: 🤔 Janis: can only think of things that would get you banned Jimmy: first vid can be what to do when your dad's a dickhead & your girlfriend's fake Jimmy: very #relatable Janis: 💔 Janis: and not a girl, don't forget Jimmy: then just turns into smoothie recipes Jimmy: 'cause how to win that GIRL over Janis: 😏 Janis: nice save Jimmy: Pete's gonna watch then come for you Jimmy: but I'm ready Janis: I wish Janis: get my hopes up Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Jimmy: he'll be worth the wait though Jimmy: even though he won't know the secret ingredient Janis: 👀👀 Jimmy: just put some Classic FM on & recline in your bed dramatically til then Janis: yours Jimmy: you ain't fucking that stud of a lad in my tiny bed Jimmy: get it together Jimmy: Pete deserves the best Janis: 😂 Janis: but Janis: I'll miss you Jimmy: ring me after Jimmy: he smokes more than I do Jimmy: not gonna have the stamina Janis: 💕 Janis: always gonna be my hero, yeah Jimmy: you know it Janis: [kisses him but make it playfyl or it'll get real again Jimmy: do you want a drink or you done now the challenge is? Janis: once you're out you're out Janis: go on Jimmy: hang on then Jimmy: be right back Janis: don't lose me Janis: so many dickheads in here Jimmy: I can find my way to the bar without getting lost Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: don't dance with anyone I can't beat the shit out of Janis: struggle w my type but Janis: do my best Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: tah babe Jimmy: so thoughtful Janis: don't want you reckoning I've got an actual weird kink Janis: 💉 Jimmy: kinda sounds like you do now Jimmy: protesting bit much Janis: Shut up Janis: I don't wanna fuck you up to fix you Janis: not that psycho Jimmy: just wanna fuck me up Jimmy: I remember Jimmy: got that warning Janis: that was forever ago Janis: I'm a different person 💁 Jimmy: yeah? Jimmy: who are you Jimmy: always forgetting, me Janis: whoever you want, obvs Janis: that's the deal Jimmy: now you sound like your sister Jimmy: stop Janis: how dare you Jimmy: is she still blowing your phone up? Janis: I ain't looked Janis: she's on mute don't tell her Jimmy: I won't Jimmy: but if you wanna turn it off Jimmy: I will use my words Janis: yeah? Jimmy: yeah Janis: what if I was scared Janis: a bit Janis: I ain't Janis: but what if Jimmy: I get it, the accent's a bit Jimmy: but you know how to shut me up so Jimmy: nowt scary Janis: 😂 Janis: alright Janis: deal Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: [comes back with drinks then] Janis: [drinking faster than necessary now calm down] Jimmy: [starts dancing with her so she can't drink as far cos we see you babe] Jimmy: *fast Janis: [is all like 'hey!' but dances with obvs, not that mad] Jimmy: [kisses her so she can't be mad even though he knows she ain't really] Janis: [are getting jostled about how you do in clubs] Jimmy: [is mad about it cos how dare they not be the only peeps who exist] Janis: [tries to move 'em away best you can, like, so she can kiss him back properly] Jimmy: [kissing and dancing for a bit cos let 'em world] Janis: okay but I can't hear shit Janis: not giving in Janis: but Jimmy: sounds like an excuse Jimmy: but yeah literally nowt except whatever these shit tunes are Jimmy: to be continued for a night when you can hear me Janis: if you ain't got nothing nice to say 😏 Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: nah Janis: I missed you though Jimmy: you're cute Janis: you being sarky or Janis: 🤔 Janis: suss Jimmy: now I know you're pissed Jimmy: if you can't tell Janis: Pssssssssh Jimmy: you're gonna be wearing that drink in a sec Jimmy: & it ain't gonna be my fault Janis: 😱 Janis: #storytimeiwasTHREATENED Jimmy: nowt to do with me, like I said Jimmy: only meant 'cause you're a pisshead surrounded by 'em Jimmy: [puts an arm around her in a protective barrier kinda way] Janis: you're cute Janis: 😉 Jimmy: shhh Janis: well I mean it Janis: just fyi Jimmy: yeah? Janis: Mhmm Janis: I speak only the truth Jimmy: that's why its only bollocks then Jimmy: 'cause course you do, pisshead Janis: what you mean Janis: dickhead Jimmy: drunks only speak the 'truth' like Janis: I'm not drunk Janis: and I do Janis: so 🖕 Jimmy: come on Jimmy: tell me something properly true then Janis: that's vague Jimmy: go on, sober girl Jimmy: rise to the challenge Janis: 🙄 Janis: hold on Janis: [winnie thinking] Jimmy: [lols cos so cute] Janis: you're too cute for the truth Janis: must be protected Jimmy: if you were gonna tell me you're leaving me for Pete Jimmy: ain't that surprised Janis: that's the one Janis: [drinking fast again] Jimmy: [gives her a look that she may or may not see] Jimmy: what? Jimmy: something's wrong Janis: nowt Janis: [one of those blatantly fake smiles not like a 'trying to convince' kind] Jimmy: truth Jimmy: I can take it Janis: it ain't about you it's just Janis: the only thing I could think to say was how I think I hate my whole family Janis: but not really that surprising either, is it Jimmy: nah Jimmy: but that don't mean it's not shit Jimmy: for you Janis: why? not like I have to Janis: could always not be a bitch, yeah Jimmy: [does the little chin tilt thing so she has to look at him properly] Jimmy: you're not Jimmy: [says it out loud too, in her ear so she has a chance of hearing it, for emphasis] Janis: [shakes her head] Janis: whatever Janis: you too sober for a truth I assume Jimmy: I always want the truth Jimmy: enough people have chatted shit to me Jimmy: 'bout enough things Janis: meant telling one Janis: but I don't bullshit Jimmy: I was telling one & you know it Janis: Meh Janis: not very interested in myself, sorry Jimmy: then ask me Jimmy: what do you wanna know? Janis: why have I gotta be specific Janis: you weren't Janis: whatever you wanna say Jimmy: not very interested in myself either Janis: alright Jimmy: & anyway you know loads of shit about me Jimmy: always going on, I am Janis: don't mind Jimmy: 👍 Janis: another drink? Janis: [already going] Jimmy: keen Janis: i'll drink yours if you can't keep up Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: keep up with you easy Janis: 👌 Jimmy: spill yours if you're gonna 👌 Janis: not 🔥 money here 'scuse you Jimmy: don't have to tell me, rich girl Jimmy: broke & jobless me Janis: 🔪 Janis: shut up Jimmy: you can't make me from over there Jimmy: [shouts 'I'm just a poor boy & nobody loves me' cos nerd] Janis: you're so embarrassing Janis: ain't with you Jimmy: 💔💔🎻🎻🎻💔 Jimmy: I'll go find someone who thinks I'm 😎 Jimmy: it's alright Janis: good 🍀 Janis: take your drink Janis: [casually shoves it at him] Jimmy: tah Jimmy: [has a wander through the club casually] Janis: [pouting in the corner] Jimmy: [comes back so he can kiss her and do the hot pouty lip thing cos loves it] Janis: [more hot dancing 'cos mad] Jimmy: [heart eyes motherfucker] Janis: [shouting] when can we go? Jimmy: whenever you want Jimmy: [downs his drink so he's technically ready to go if she says now] Janis: get you out 'fore the fights start Janis: come on Jimmy: I can take any of 'em Jimmy: don't worry 'bout that Janis: not Jimmy: not worried or not convinced I can fight my way out? Janis: not worried Janis: only so much blood I can excuse away 'fore the fam are though Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: love you too Jimmy: we're going to mine not yours, they've seen worse Janis: by all means then Janis: idiot Jimmy: so supportive you Jimmy: tah Janis: must be the love Jimmy: yeah Janis: [walks to go out but not so much ahead it's like lol bye] Jimmy: keen Jimmy: [but does catch up] Janis: when you're in you're in Janis: know you're a slag, soz Jimmy: what are you on about? Janis: am I not coming home with you now Jimmy: don't mean we have to run there Jimmy: calm down Janis: 🙄 Janis: what was it you said Janis: can't play hard to get Jimmy: I ain't touching you right now Jimmy: I'd need longer arms Janis: [stops like hurry up] Jimmy: [holds onto her when he gets there like he's about to fall down dead & trying to stop himself cos casual comedian] Janis: hope you're drunker than you reckon Janis: idiot 😏 Jimmy: how many times are you gonna call me an idiot before we get back? Janis: going for gold or nah? Jimmy: always Janis: keep it up then, babe Jimmy: 👍 Janis: school's gonna be so shit Jimmy: that's why we ain't going Janis: that's why we're putting off the inevitable Janis: but yeah Jimmy: if you'd rather go, go on Janis: obviously not Janis: open your earholes Jimmy: they are, they're just 💀 'cause of that 🎶 Janis: standard club fare Janis: poor indie boy 💔 Jimmy: piss off Janis: funny 'cos the rest of your tastes are so top40 basic Jimmy: what are you chatting shit for? Janis: just tryna end your night how you dreamed, babe Jimmy: what? Janis: more drinks and a fight, you were very specific Jimmy: I was very specific that I didn't wanna fight you, I reckon Janis: 🤷 Janis: take what you can get Janis: the only one here, like Jimmy: [stops her and is just looking at her like ??] Jimmy: [asks her what's wrong out loud 'cause now they can hear each other] Janis: [says 'I dunno'] Janis: just pissed, probably Jimmy: you've been pissed all night Jimmy: so what is it Jimmy: what did I do? Janis: it ain't you Janis: just saw someone I didn't wanna in that club alright Jimmy: okay Jimmy: [puts arm around her] Janis: [breaths deep, trying to calm down] Jimmy: hit me Janis: don't be stupid Janis: I'm not hitting you Jimmy: like you said, I'm the only one here Jimmy: & it'll make you feel better Jimmy: so go on Janis: no Janis: ridiculous Janis: [starts walking again] Jimmy: [catches up] Jimmy: nah Jimmy: serious Jimmy: come on Janis: I am not gonna hit you, Jimmy Janis: shut up Janis: [pushes him but not hard] Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: you're scared 'cause I'm so hard & northern Jimmy: don't be Jimmy: not gonna smack you back Janis: then I'm not interested Janis: fair fight or nothing so bye Jimmy: We ain't fighting Jimmy: I'm just a punching bag for a sec Jimmy: til you feel alright Janis: you're not Jimmy: not if you don't take me up on it Jimmy: but that'd be stupid Jimmy: & you're not Janis: I don't fucking want to Janis: Jesus Jimmy: why? Janis: do you wanna hit me? Jimmy: I'm not having a shit night Jimmy: & you're such a girl Janis: Oh my God, go away Janis: I know what you're trying to do Jimmy: make me Janis: [ignoring] Jimmy: that's what you'd rather do Jimmy: we coulda sorted this by now if you'd just smacked me when I said Jimmy: you reckon you're gonna fuck me up? Jimmy: Cass don't & she's harder & more northern than you Janis: well I ain't her Jimmy: obviously ain't Janis: if you wanna go date your sister be my guest Janis: probably wouldn't brag about it though Jimmy: if you wanna turn into yours go on Jimmy: definitely don't brag about it though Janis: fuck off Jimmy: no Janis: I'm going home, this is stupid Jimmy: don't be a dickhead Jimmy: you're coming home with me Janis: no i ain't Jimmy: yeah you are Janis: yeah love to see you try and make me Jimmy: stop Jimmy: I'm sorry, alright Jimmy: just Janis: not in the mood for this shit Janis: told you it weren't your fault so just go home okay Jimmy: I'm not going without you Janis: then drop it Jimmy: alright Jimmy: [lights a 🚬 cos calm down boy] Janis: how many do you actually smoke a day Jimmy: depends Janis: roughly then Jimmy: why does it matter Janis: making conversation Jimmy: well you sound like my sister Jimmy: who I don't wanna date, tah for that Janis: you brought her up Jimmy: not like that Janis: ain't my fault Janis: you were trying to make me hit you at the time so Jimmy: 'cause you should've at the time so Janis: don't start Jimmy: you brought it up Janis: twat Jimmy: don't you start Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: there's no point me coming to yours Jimmy: if that's what you reckon then there ain't Jimmy: go home then Janis: I will Janis: later Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you getting the bus? Jimmy: told you before, broke & jobless Jimmy: I can walk Jimmy: you're the one living in the middle of nowhere Janis: well I wanna run so Jimmy: I ain't stopping you Jimmy: stop typing & start moving Janis: are you gonna get lost or nah Janis: don't be a dick for a second and answer Jimmy: 1. I don't know til it happens do I, that's why I'm lost Jimmy: 2. I'm not the one being a dick Janis: [tries to give him change] Janis: get the bus Jimmy: keep your money, rich girl Jimmy: I ain't on the clock Janis: you're gonna get lost so just do it Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: but I'm in no rush to get home anyway Jimmy: so who cares Janis: you're gonna wander the streets on your tod then Jimmy: worse ways to end a night out Janis: fuck you Jimmy: fuck me 'cause you're a massive dickhead Jimmy: yeah alright Janis: you said it Janis: whatever Jimmy: I said don't keep walking away from me literally a few hours ago & you're doing it Jimmy: again Jimmy: whatever Janis: I am not, I TOLD you I was going, that ain't the same thing Jimmy: It's bollocks is what it is Jimmy: so bollocks to it Janis: what Janis: I ain't allowed to go home Jimmy: like you said, I can't stop you Jimmy: much as I bet you'd still love me to try & make you, yeah Janis: yeah Janis: got it in one Janis: that girl Jimmy: but only a girl when you say so Janis: what do you even mean by that Jimmy: you can take the piss however you want Jimmy: chat to me however you want Janis: you constantly do it back so you've got no point Janis: and if you don't like it you know what to do Jimmy: 👌 Janis: mature Jimmy: you ignored me earlier so you've got no leg to stand on Janis: 'cos I had to Jimmy: well I had to agree just then Jimmy: not really giving me much else choice, are you Janis: not my fault you're wrong Jimmy: not my fault you saw someone you didn't wanna Janis: literally said that, didn't I Jimmy: It don't matter what you say if you're still being a dickhead to me Janis: that's why I'm trying to leave Janis: no point me being at yours if I'm in a mood, that's what I said Jimmy: then just fucking go Jimmy: I told you earlier, go if you're going Janis: don't try and tell me what to do either way Janis: I was trying to fucking help you Jimmy: likewise Jimmy: with both them things Janis: fine Jimmy: [lights a new 🚬 'cause it be like that] Janis: [is a distance but clearly not that far] Janis: can I have one Jimmy: do you want me to throw it 'cause in that case no Janis: I know about your lack of sporting prowess but I ain't walking over if you ain't gonna give me one Jimmy: piss off I could Jimmy: I just don't hate you enough to set you alight Janis: your problem not mine Janis: [comes over] Jimmy: [gives her one & the lighter cos he ain't doing it 💔] Janis: tah Janis: [hands it back but don't move] Jimmy: [pockets it & likewise cos he ain't moved literally this whole time] Janis: [sighs drmatically] Jimmy: say it Janis: can't, 'fraid Janis: maybe a few insults back but not in good conscience now Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: exactly Jimmy: [starts walking away finally 'cause thinks he's gotta] Janis: if I say it will you get on the bus? Jimmy: are you gonna say you're in love with the bus driver? Jimmy: 'cause sorta giving yourself away there Janis: be serious for one second, oh my GOD Jimmy: you should be happy I wanna walk Jimmy: athlete you are Jimmy: can hit the gym together and be really #goals Janis: 😑 Janis: you are so annoying Janis: I'm trying to apologize here this is why Janis: you never just shut up and listen Janis: or answer questions Jimmy: what was it you said, your problem, not mine Jimmy: 1. I'm listening all the time Jimmy: 2. I've told you, ask me Janis: I repeat myself then Janis: if I say it will you get on the bus? Jimmy: I don't wanna get the bus Jimmy: why does it matter so much Janis: because I'd rather you didn't get lost and die if it's all the same to you Janis: don'tneed that on my conscience Jimmy: I don't need it to happen to me Jimmy: so gimme some credit just once Janis: I'm not juding Janis: excuse me for giving a shit Jimmy: if you give so much of a shit come with me Janis: fine Jimmy: [is just walking casually] Janis: why don't you answer questions Jimmy: I do Jimmy: what are you on about? Janis: only if I ask again Jimmy: I answer questions Jimmy: why are you making me sound like I'm really weird? Janis: why do you make me have to pry like I'm the nosiest bitch in the world Jimmy: ? Jimmy: that's not Jimmy: I don't Janis: never mind then Jimmy: nah you obviously mind Janis: not exactly, I just wanted to know why Jimmy: I don't know what you mean Jimmy: can't help you with that Janis: alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [smoking in silence] Jimmy: I got an interview next week Janis: fast Janis: where? Jimmy: some other ☕ place Jimmy: they all basically have the same names Janis: True that Janis: could use some creativity so 🤞 Jimmy: this one could Jimmy: [shows her generic coffee shop on his phone] Jimmy: but I'll poach Pete the CG's shining star Janis: eye candy is all that matters anyway Jimmy: I thought you didn't wanna hit me Jimmy: really backhanded that compliment Janis: I called you creative before that but nah Janis: ignore that Jimmy: don't listen do I so Janis: apparently not Jimmy: definitely not according to you Jimmy: never is what you said Janis: now he listens Jimmy: 'cause like I said, I always do Jimmy: you on the other hand have told me I'm a good listener before, so which is it? 🤔 Janis: [stops him walking and goes to kiss him] Jimmy: you could have just told me to shut up Jimmy: even if I never do Janis: I didn't want you to Janis: I wanted to kiss you Janis: that alright? Jimmy: [kisses her really intensely 'cause yes & it's all he ever wants to do lbr] Janis: Good Jimmy: [takes her hand for hand holding] Janis: how much do you hate me then? Jimmy: so much Jimmy: don't ever stop thinking about how much I hate you Janis: good to know Janis: probably get a hobby though Jimmy: [actually lols but then uses their linked hands to pull her into another longer kiss] Jimmy: I've got one Janis: not bad Janis: I approve Jimmy: but do you really approve of my 🎨 Janis: 'course I do Jimmy: good Jimmy: what about the pink shirt? Jimmy: art in itself I know so sort of a trick question Janis: [lols] Jimmy: [is heart eyes] Jimmy: fuck Jimmy: you're Janis: I'm sorry Janis: don't let me spoil it Jimmy: you didn't let me earlier Jimmy: we're even Janis: I Janis: works for me Jimmy: maybe I'm drunker than I reckon or stupider than you reckon but do you wanna Jimmy: like piss off with me for a bit before we have to go to school Jimmy: I don't know where or how I just Janis: yeah Janis: I wanna Jimmy: we're probably gonna have to take the dog with us Jimmy: but I know you ain't 💔 Janis: yeah, devastated Janis: I jut wanna be with you, not here Jimmy: I'll call in the babysitting Gracie owes me Jimmy: much as I wanna be with you I don't want both my brother & sister to hate me at the same time Janis: that's fair Janis: we can make it happen Jimmy: say that again Jimmy: I'm really listening Janis: we can make it happen Jimmy: everything that's made it weird between us lately is other people Jimmy: Mia & your sister & all that bollocks Jimmy: & my fucking dad obviously Janis: other people are cunts Janis: coulda told you that Janis: probably did Jimmy: [lols cos she actually has I remember] Jimmy: you have Jimmy: we can't let them ruin it though, yeah Janis: I'm very wise, you should listen to me Janis: fuck that Janis: not gonna let us ruin it, never mind them, they don't even get a look in Jimmy: I really really really fucking like you Janis: that's a lot of reallys Janis: but I feel it too Jimmy: just remember it, alright Jimmy: you're pissed enough to forget loads of tonight & I don't mind if you do most of it but Janis: I love you I remember Jimmy: [make out because I can't] Janis: [hope you're near home lads] Jimmy: Janis Janis: Yep? Jimmy: how drunk are you really? Janis: Hmm Janis: probably the drunkest I've been but one time Janis: no, maybe two Janis: top three 🥉 Jimmy: okay Janis: know why you're asking Janis: but I mean it Janis: and you do too Jimmy: [just gonna put another make out here cos where's the lie but also help me jesus] Janis: know you said you'd fuck me before we got to yours, just' sayin' Jimmy: [lols but is also just looking at her like hell yeah] Jimmy: you know loads for a pisshead, you Jimmy: you ain't forgot the pub already have you? Janis: you said multiple, actually, I'm asking for one here Janis: [puppy dog eyes 'please'] Jimmy: [goes for it 'cause lbr doesn't need any convincing] Janis: fuck Janis: yes Jimmy: I'm so glad you asked Jimmy: I've been wanting to do this for ages Janis: the pub wasn't that long ago Jimmy: I know but Janis: me too Janis: I think about it all the time Jimmy: me too Janis: along with how much you hate me yeah Jimmy: yeah Janis: fine by me Janis: long as you're thinking 'bout me Jimmy: you're basically all I think about now Janis: same Janis: I like it Janis: you're better than anything else I was thinking 'bout before Jimmy: you're better than anything I've ever thought about Jimmy: I reckon Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: Janis Janis: you reckon you're not good with words but Janis: you really are, fuck Jimmy: you ain't my muse for nowt Janis: I don't even care if you're taking the piss just don't stop Jimmy: I'm not Janis: you're so special you know that Janis: I don't like anyone Jimmy: you Jimmy: I ain't good with people I'm paid to be Jimmy: so Janis: Baby Jimmy: ? Jimmy: tell me Janis: You make me happy, you know Jimmy: I gotta Jimmy: nobody else here Jimmy: you need me & I need you that's all there is Janis: I need you so bad Jimmy: I can feel it Janis: do I feel good Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: you're so Jimmy: [kisses her 'cause what words even] Janis: probably don't believe I was a virgin the way I act with you Jimmy: I believe you Janis: you're just Janis: different Jimmy: I've told you, I trust you Jimmy: whatever you say to me Janis: then you believe me Janis: that I love you Jimmy: I do Janis: Good Janis: it's the truth Jimmy: I know Jimmy: but the truth too is, I'm so scared of you Jimmy: I don't know how I can trust you & also that but Janis: Why? Jimmy: You're just Jimmy: so important Jimmy: & everyone else who matters is Jimmy: they just Janis: don't like me? Jimmy: don't like me, maybe Jimmy: or needs shit from me that never gonna be Jimmy: I don't know Janis: I really get it Jimmy: I said I wasn't gonna do this again Jimmy: ages ago Jimmy: but I like you too much Jimmy: I have to Janis: I'm sorry Janis: I didn't mean for it to happen Jimmy: me either Jimmy: but don't be sorry Janis: I was only ever joking about breaking your heart Janis: and I don't wanna scare you Jimmy: I know Jimmy: I'm sorry Jimmy: I don't wanna be scared Jimmy: I don't Jimmy: I just want Janis: It's okay Janis: I am too but it's okay Jimmy: [kisses because it's okay kids shh you can be in love] Janis: I won't say it again Janis: if you don't want Jimmy: I want you to say it Jimmy: whenever you feel it Jimmy: I hate not talking about things, not being allowed to Jimmy: like they just didn't happen Jimmy: but they did Janis: sometimes it's easier Jimmy: sometimes its not Jimmy: you should have the choice Jimmy: so I'm giving you yours Janis: [more kissing 'cos what can she] Jimmy: tomorrow I'm choosing to fuck you with no clothes in the way Janis: 😏 Janis: you're doing great, sweetie Jimmy: that sounded really fake Jimmy: 💔 Janis: does how wet I am for you right now feel fake Jimmy: you've never been that good at pretending Janis: don't insult me Janis: whilst Janis: very rude Jimmy: at least I didn't call you a horny mute Jimmy: can't anymore Janis: want it Janis: suits you Jimmy: you reckon? Janis: Maybe Janis: [does best to make him make noise] Jimmy: [it works] Janis: You're so fucking hot, Jimmy Jimmy: you baby Jimmy: & you can call me what you want if you do that again Jimmy: I don't care Janis: you're killing me Janis: so [does unfy thing 1] fucking [does unfy thing 2] hot [does unfy thing 3 Jimmy: [is reacting exactly as she knew he would/loving life loudly] Jimmy: it's your fault Jimmy: you reminded me I said multiple times Jimmy: so now I just want you to cum Jimmy: as many as possible Janis: you know exactly how to make that happen, baby Janis: only you Jimmy: [has to kiss her 'cause he will declare his undying love & I can't] Janis: even kissing you is fucking Janis: obscence, frankly Jimmy: [gives her more] Janis: how are you so Janis: I'm so glad you're mine Janis: I don't want anyone else to have this, have you Jimmy: I only want you Jimmy: there isn't anyone else Jimmy: [is literally trying to pull her closer even though they can't get any closer goddamn] Janis: Shit shit, Jimmy harder please I need to feel every part of you in every part of me I am so close Jimmy: [does as he's told & is also just going in on her neck 'cause wants to kiss her really hard too but also wants to hear her so] Janis: I'm gonna be loud here whilst we can Janis: don't care if anyone hears Jimmy: I don't even know where we are Jimmy: it don't matter Jimmy: just Janis: I would seriously fuck you anywhere Janis: everywhere Jimmy: I'll make school worth going to, a challenge & a promise Jimmy: I swear Janis: 😩 Janis: why is that so Jimmy: you have the skirt, yeah Jimmy: I remember seeing you in it before Janis: really Jimmy: It's not like your sister's or anything weird is it Jimmy: 'cause you looked really good Janis: no, it's mine Jimmy: thank god Jimmy: even if he don't exist Janis: 'bout as non-existent as that skirt Janis: told Miss it's not my fault I'm tall Jimmy: tah for the reminders Jimmy: that's really Janis: you're the one who wants me to wear it so Janis: 🤤 Jimmy: maybe I am ready for school to start Janis: me too but take me away first Jimmy: let's just go now Jimmy: keep walking Jimmy: not right now though Janis: gonna say Janis: hold on Jimmy: but will you Jimmy: just come with me Janis: of course I will Jimmy: [kisses her cos even though they can't go right now cos Twix etc it's cute] Janis: you're all I want Janis: and need Jimmy: you've got all of me Jimmy: I know you can feel it Janis: damn daddy Janis: actually the hottest thing you've ever said Jimmy: [does some of the hottest things he can do too just because] Janis: I've Janis: if you keep making me cum harder than I've ever before Janis: I assume I'll actually die Jimmy: I don't want to accept that challenge Jimmy: stay with me Janis: you're so Janis: I love you Jimmy: [kisses because I nearly wrote I love you too & none of me is ready] Janis: [post-sex snuggles] Jimmy: so where are we? Janis: [looks around] Janis: probably not quite far enough from town or your gaff for 'normal' people to reckon that was acceptable but what do they know Jimmy: are there still buses going? Jimmy: I'm tired Janis: poor baby Janis: you work so hard Janis: can catch the last bus just about though Jimmy: I know you are too Jimmy: we're a team Janis: Yeah Janis: don't let me fal asleep though or the bus drivers are all gonna hate me Jimmy: I won't Jimmy: you gotta make sure we don't miss our stop anyway Jimmy: redeem yourself Janis: exactly Jimmy: come on then, baby Jimmy: let's do this Janis: help me up Janis: i'm weak and it's your fault Jimmy: [picks her up, boy be careful] Janis: your girlfirned was small wasn't she Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: but who isn't compared to you Jimmy: [looking her up and down appreciatively] Janis: I hope you know if you said that to any other girl they'd literally commit Jimmy: but you ain't Jimmy: & if you want a piggyback to the bus I can give you that, for real Janis: [giggles 'cos adorable and hops on] Jimmy: [piggyback as promised cos cute nerds] Janis: [on bus] Jimmy: [snuggling & he's playing with her hair cos fave thing] Janis: stay Jimmy: fucked as my home life is we can't live on this bus Janis: please Jimmy: [snuggles into her more] Jimmy: what do you need Janis: [pokes him in the chest like you, boy] Jimmy: [does a small lol and gives her some soft kisses cos he's right here] Janis: [taps where she wants kisses next] Jimmy: [gives them and some extra cos he just wants to] Janis: [cuddles into his chest] Janis: you smell good Jimmy: I smell like you Janis: and sex Janis: it's a good smell Jimmy: the dog loves me now Jimmy: never mind your influence #yourscent Janis: 😂 Janis: she might love me a little too much Jimmy: I've been saying it since day one Jimmy: listen up, girl Janis: how many advances has one girl gotta fend off 🙄 honestly Jimmy: if she tries to come between us she ain't coming away with us Jimmy: 💔💔 gutted for you both but Janis: put your foot down, babe Jimmy: I am Jimmy: I ain't having it Janis: you're such a cute nerd Jimmy: you're so tired & pissed you can't type Jimmy: cos you meant I'm so impressive & intimidating to snide 🐶 Janis: hmm, okay Janis: what else did I mean Janis: interpret Jimmy: you can't wait to spend all day in bed with me tomorrow once my dad's fucked off to work Jimmy: & you wanna watch my fave film again & eat my fave tea 'cause you love me that much Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: the cutest Janis: I agree Janis: with myself Jimmy: nah but seriously we gotta plan how we're getting out of here Jimmy: when & where Jimmy: I reckon we could go tomorrow night if we get our shit together Jimmy: & you ain't too hungover to do your bit Janis: 'scuse you Janis: would never thwart us like that Jimmy: not your fault Jimmy: I challenged you Janis: you gonna still be nice to me then, even if I'm dying and useless? Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: if you look pretty while you're doing it, or nowt as the case could be Janis: 😒 oh I'll do my best to make death look seductive Jimmy: 🎨 Jimmy: are your parents gonna give you shit for going? Janis: like to see 'em try Janis: but no Jimmy: 👍 Janis: what about your dad Jimmy: that's a given Jimmy: probably fuck up the other side of my face Jimmy: again 🎨 like Janis: 😣 Janis: maybe I shoulda smacked you to beat him to it, like Janis: [snuggles more instinctively] Jimmy: I did tell you, girl Janis: you know you say a lot of things, babe Jimmy: you telling me to shut up? bit rude Janis: No, I like it Janis: you're Jimmy: [soft kisses cos soft mood] Janis: too nice Jimmy: nah Jimmy: decent amount Janis: if you do say so yourself 😏 Jimmy: #selflove babe Janis: now who sounds like my sister Janis: I'll leave, like Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: but don't Janis: fine, fine Janis: I'll watch you selflove Jimmy: steady on Jimmy: there's only so many times on buses before I get a rep Janis: 😂 Janis: control yourself then Jimmy: but you're so much better at it Jimmy: ain't my fault Janis: if that's your excuse you'll never do nothing Janis: 🥇 me Jimmy: my excuse for why I'm doing nowt, exactly Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you're welcome then Jimmy: 💕 Janis: where are we gonna go Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: as long as you're coming, I don't care too much Janis: same Janis: [look of love bitch] Jimmy: [more kisses] Janis: I'm so Janis: 😴 Jimmy: get your head down for a bit Jimmy: I'll wake you up Janis: I'm so tough though Jimmy: that's why I need you to save your energy though Jimmy: protect me from 🐶s & the big wide world Jimmy: 💪 Janis: 💕 Janis: okay baby Janis: [is snoozy] Jimmy: [is playing with her hair & being a soft boy until he has to wake her up which he'd do out loud in a cute way] Janis: [is all cute and disorientated like wut] Janis: hey Jimmy: [is the most heart eyes ever & kisses her so soft cos the CUTEST sleepy girl he's ever seen good day] Jimmy: come on Janis: 👍 Janis: forgot where I was then Jimmy: hold onto that feeling when we get in Jimmy: pretend we've already left Janis: [kisses him as they getting off the bus like 'scuse you bus driver  but less soft 'cos obviously the mood for going away] Janis: easy Janis: 💪 Jimmy: [look of love bitch & handholding as they walk to his] Janis: I hope you can stay and Bobby stays asleep Janis: does that make me a bitch Jimmy: if it does we're both bitches Janis: #bossbitchesamiriteladiez Jimmy: [lols] Jimmy: if you've trained that dog at all he shouldn't wake up it's well late now Janis: I'll bribe her Janis: #protrainertip Jimmy: so you're trying to train me too, then Jimmy: how's that going? Janis: you know, have your moments but on the whole Janis: say I'd got you where I want you, like Jimmy: 🤔 Jimmy: [picks her up again cos he's a massive nerd] Jimmy: yeah, I'd say the same about you Janis: [giggles 'cos loves it] Janis: I'm alright with it too Jimmy: good Jimmy: [is just carrying her around like an idiot, boy stop you aren't Buster & she ain't Rio you can't] Janis: drop me and you're dead Jimmy: you're probably the 💀 one Jimmy: [looks down dramatically] Jimmy: it's a long way down, babe Janis: such a giant Janis: 😉 Jimmy: 😳 Janis: awh baby Janis: don't, you're just right, remember? Jimmy: I'll take the reminder Janis: [kissing on his neck like bitch be careful you gonna get dropped] Jimmy: shit Jimmy: I get it, you want us to die together Janis: not exactly what I had in mind Jimmy: 'course it is Jimmy: peak romance Jimmy: never switch off, you Jimmy: that romantic Janis: 😂 Janis: okay, said you weren't down for that challenge but you can kill me Jimmy: [gives a very sexy smooch cos okay] Janis: [gets down or this'll end badly lmao] Janis: I like you a lot you know Jimmy: I know but Jimmy: keep letting me know Janis: I will Janis: but quietly Janis: 😇 Jimmy: I Jimmy: you're just so Janis: tell me 'bout it sometime, okay Jimmy: but loudly, yeah Janis: mhmm Janis: showing me is fine for now Jimmy: [lil handsy make out cos gotta show her something] Janis: 😍😍😍 Janis: we need to go inside Jimmy: [conflicted cos doesn't ever wanna but also does wanna so takes her hand] Jimmy: alright Janis: [squeezes his hand 'cos knows and feels it] Jimmy: [go in & to his room, twix hears them like a ro & comes outta Cass' room & with but can only hear her dancing feet its okay] Janis: [gives her plenty of fuss and loves] Jimmy: [doesn't cos has to pretend he's a hater instead plugs both their phones in cos must be fucking flagging by now I don't care if it's the future] Janis: [is reclining and pats the bed next to her and Twix immediately goes to that spot like lmao too slow] Jimmy: [is literally like 😒 but IRL] Janis: [lols 'cos such a cute grump and has to skillfully move Twix like calm down girl] Jimmy: [still grumpy faced but gets next to her] Janis: [Big spoons him] Jimmy: [let's it happen & Twix lie with him so he's like the middle of a sandwich lol] Janis: [casual happy fam bye, scratching his back and giving him the neck/shoulder massages always] Jimmy: [is sleepy cos that's so relaxing bye] Janis: [let 'em snooze] Jimmy: [okay but hear me out FINALLY DROPS THE L WORD out loud when he's basically asleep cos]
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