#learn from artists you admire! if you can identify WHAT you like about their work then they're the best teachers you'll find

[cereovo]

A set of very conceptual notes I drafted a while back for someone asking for advice on learning to draw humans. I'm entirely self-taught so this is less of a tutorial and more of a very rambling set of general principles I follow and ideas that helped while I was learning. I figured I'd post it in case anyone else could get use out of it!

I also recommend checking out:

Drawing East Asian Faces by Chuwenjie

How to Think When you Draw (lots of good tutorials in this series)

Pose reference sites such as Adorkastock

Transcript and some elaboration under the cut:

Img 1 - Drawing a face

The two most important elements (at least for me) when drawing a face are the outline of the cheek/jaw and the nose*. I often start with a circle to indicate the round part of the skull, then add a straight like and a 'V' to one side [to create the side of the face and the jaw]. The nose creates an easy template for the rest of the face's features to follow (eyebrows at the top of the nose bridge, eyes towards the center of the bridge, ear lines up to eye) and the placement/direction and overlap with other features is a very simple way to indicate dimension. [A sketch of a face that has been adjusted by moving its parts to create 3 different angles. The following text is underneath:] -Different 3/4th views can be created just by adjusting the position of and amount of overlap between the facial features. - The top of the ear usually lines up with the corner of the eye. Think of how glasses are designed [specifically, how the arms run from the eyeline to the ear] [I go on a tangent in these next few paragraphs] *One thing I see many artists do - not just beginners - is learn how to draw A Person. As in, one singular person with one set of bodily proportions and one set of facial features. It's an issue that runs a bit deeper than 'same face syndrome' because sometimes these artists can draw more than one face, they're just not very representative of [the diversity present across] real people. Part of the reason I'm talking more about how to think about approaches to drawing - rather than showing specific how-to's - is because there is no one correct or right way to draw a person. The sooner you allow yourself to explore variety - fat people, old people, people of color, people with [conventionally] 'unattractive' features - the easier it'll be! Artists often draw their own features honestly and without [harmful] caricature, so it's always a good idea to look at art made by the kinds of people you're trying to draw if you're ever unsure about how to handle something. In general, it's far more important to learn how to interpret a variety of forms than to learn how to replicate the Platonic Ideal of the Human Body.

Img 2 - Stuff that helped me

Jumping into drawing humans (faces or otherwise) straight from photo reference can be overwhelming. The trick is to simplify forms into shapes - but even this concept is sort of abstract and it may be hard to know where to begin. Good news - Thousands of other artists have already figured it out. [When starting out] I needed to learn from photo reference AND artists I admired in order to improve. [When looking at stylization you are inspired by] ask yourself: WHY does this simplification work? How can I translate it into a different pose? Instead of copying what you see in a photo reference exactly, try to focus on the general forms first. My two biggest style inspirations for humans while learning to draw them were Steven Universe and Sabrina Cotugno's art. SU gets a lot of hate [in this instance I was specifically referring to a time on tumblr when the art was knocked for 'losing quality'] but its style does a great job of simplifying anatomy in a way that still portrays a diversity of bodies + features. [Extremely simplified drawings of Lapis, Steven, and Amethyst] SU characters are still identifiable- and still read as 'human' - even when reduced to just a few lines!

Img 3 - Things I keep in mind while drawing side profiles

- Eyebrows + eyes close to the 'edge' of the face - Forehead needs enough room for a brain - Eye is > shaped from the sides - Mouth kinda halfway [between the nose and the chin] but closer to the nose - Skin/fat exists under the jaw [and connects to the neck] - neck is about one half the width of the whole head - the back of the skull always sticks out a bit further than you might expect - Sometimes less is more - contours exist on every face, but drawing them in may make your character seem much older than they're supposed to be. However, it's a good idea to use them when you *want* your character to look old! These are very general notes- every face is different and has different proportions [and playing around with them creates unique and interesting character designs]

[wiltkingart]

Do you have any advice on how 2 not overwork a drawing? Over-detailing my art (to the detriment of the final result) is a big weakness of mine, and ive been working on it lately, but simplifying my art is way harder than I thought itd be. I keep getting stuck in a mentality that less detail = less effort, even though all my struggling should prove that isnt true lol. & I almost always like my simpler drawings better, even though that makes me feel kinda lazy…as long as it’s fun tho, right? [1/2]

I’m asking here bc one of the things I adore about your work is how confident and striking your paintings feel. I really admire the way colors and shape language interact in your art…I always want to keep looking to see what I can find hidden in the details, but they don’t take away from the main focus of the image. How do you manage to strike that balance? [2/2] (sorry for the long question lol)

honestly this is still something i struggle with at times! but some things that have helped me are:

- identifying which parts i tend to overwork the most. for me thats faces so i have made it a conscious habit to render faces last. that way i can match my level of face rendering to the rest of the piece.

- working on all parts of the painting at once. some artists are able to work on a painting from section to section. this is not me, regardless of detail level. jumping around all over the place keeps me from focusing too hard on one section above others. i even take this one step further by working on 2+ paintings simultaneously but there is something wrong with me for this one i'll admit.

- staying zoomed out for as long i can. this goes in hand with the previous point but when you're zoomed out its easier to lay down the biggest/primary color blocks without the temptation to detail. once the main color blocks are nicely balanced its easier to pick out a few points of interest to add spots of detail to, and restrain myself to them. (easier said than done! but i try!)

- getting comfortable with backtracking / deleting overworked sections and layers. this might seem scary but this has saved my ass more times than you might think. i always save a version of my drawings before i merge everything / start rending so i can always copy over earlier sections if needed.

- cold turkey removing details from the equation for a while. i did this more from necessity than choice, because i was struggling with my health a few years back and had zero energy to sink into art for long hours. but looking on the bright side it helped me realize what details are/aren't necessary and how to build my features from big -> small. this progression of my patho art shows pretty well how i introduced details back into my work over time.

but yeah! sometimes i do still find myself creeping a little too close to overwork territory for comfort, even with all these safeguards in place. in that case i have to accept that not every piece i put out will be my 'best' and that perfection has no place in art. that's not the point of it!

simplifying forms isn't easy, the same way abstract art isn't lazy. but with all things it can be learned with enough practice. and if you decide at the end of it all that you still like drawing a lot details, it might be a matter of readjusting how / where you implement them. best of luck <3

[multiplicity-positivity]

Hi! any idea of how to deal with learning your source and/or source creator is a bad person?

its a sad thing weve had to go through a couple of times, but still arent quite sure what were supposed to do. its specifically something we take fairly hard as well, because the creator is often apart of a large comfort or hyperfixation or special interest. anyway, i was just wondering if you had any tips at all.

Hello. While we personally have not had much firsthand experience with having an alter whose source turned out to be a bad person, we do have some advice that might be beneficial for you during this difficult time.

First: it’s alright to mourn or grieve the loss of someone you and your system once looked up to. It’s alright to feel hurt or betrayed when someone you thought was a kindhearted person turns out to not have others’ best interests at heart. There are no wrong feelings. It’s alright to be sad or even distraught about this. We’d encourage you to feel your emotions and attempt to connect with them, sit with them, and ultimately, let them go. Letting go of emotions without allowing yourself to feel them can be difficult and challenging - it’s probably best to spend some time sitting with your negative emotions before attempting to dismiss them.

Second: It may be reassuring to remember that, as introjects, we are not literally our sources. Just because our sources made bad decisions or chose to take advantage of someone else does not mean we are doomed to repeat those mistakes. We are capable of learning from our sources, it’s true, and even acknowledging their mistakes as examples of how we can lead our lives a bit differently. And we can do this without repeating the actions of our sources or convincing ourselves that, because our source is/was harmful, we are harmful as well.

Third: If knowing your source is harmful/committed violence or bigotry greatly distresses you, and if you are struggling to distance yourself from your source and/or feel like YOU are responsible for your source’s actions, some degree of source separation may be necessary. I (Cecil) have written my thoughts on source separation in the past, and I will link this post here so you can learn more about our experience with source separation if you think it might be useful.

Please keep in mind that you do not have to completely and totally separate from your source in order to view them in a healthy, more distanced way. You can still identify as or strongly with your source while simultaneously acknowledging that you are your own person and are not responsible for the actions, thoughts, and decisions of your source.

Fourth: In general, not just with introjects, we do believe it is possible to separate a creator’s work from the creator themself. If we find out that an artist we admired was taking advantage of someone else or otherwise caused irreparable harm to others, we will stop engaging with their content in ways that benefit the artist, but that doesn’t mean we have to give up enjoying that artist’s work entirely. We may become more critical of their work. We may try to explore other creators who aren’t as… problematic. And we will certainly stop supporting that artist, be it through purchases, subscriptions, or views. But that doesn’t mean we have to cut their works out of our lives forever. So we firmly believe it is possible to continue enjoying or engaging with your system’s hyperfixations and special interests. You may just need to find ways to do so that do not support or benefit the harmful creator in question.

I do apologize that this post got a bit rambly and long-winded. Please let us know if there is anything more we can do to help you. Thank you for your time, and take care.

[treasureplcnet]

do you have any drawing tips? i'm just starting out and your style inspires me to keep going fr!!

HIYA !!! thank you that is so kind of you, i would say to keep drawing with references and do studies!! typically art studies (in like art school lol) are of old masters (da vinci, etc) but doing studies of styles that you like, like trying to copy a certain artist you like, also helps you develop skills !!

for example, lots of people (especially fanartists lol) do studies of artists like leyendecker while making the models their favorite characters/ocs, so it helps to make studies fun. literally look up leyendecker study on tumblr dot com and you will see hundreds.

(gets a bit long and rambly so i've thrown it under the cut :')

style studies can be anything! above was done while watching wolfwalkers, just loose sketches that copied the style as the movie went along. i love the design and style in that film, wanted to incorporate it in my character design work, so i tried it out myself! it let me know the kinds of shapes used in the construction, the way it moves (wrt to animation) and silhouettes. by copying something, you learn how to do it on the way (so the kinds of colors used, what works best with shading, etc) it's like. reverse engineering

even very loosely copying something to identify what you like about the style helps! these were modelled after the way slimsense on ig paints (her work is 2nd + 4th examples below, my attempts at 'paint' 1st and 3rd lol), but doesn't really look like her work. i'm not necessarily trying to make perfect copies. i liked that her paint didn't blend perfectly, was blocky, and the additional lineart over the painting, so i brought that into my own art. i tried to create a painting style that was 'my own' off of lots of trial and error, and seeing what stuck!

also find brushes you like! adobe has a bunch on their page (if you have photoshop, but i know there's some for procreate and other programs) and if you want the adobe brush files, lmk. i will send a drive link to you LOL (sketches of the same characters, using different brushes below. the two i used the most often, one being a solid inker and the other being a paintbrush)

generally doing figure drawing is good too. i've heard advice about art where you can only start breaking the rules after you understand them, and a good grasp on anatomy, proportions, etc is definitely a good place to start! good sites to use for this are line of action for poses, and the morpho books (if you need pdfs of this let me know, though you should be able to find them if you look lol) !

i would also say learn perspective early on. i have no tips for you here i am so sorry. i didn't and now it bites me in the ass, but there has to be a youtube tutorial for this out there that can help you AND me. same goes for color theory. quickly dropping my favorite van gogh quote of all time:

(quote is from a letter to his brother) just everyone needs the fundamentals first. don't worry about a personal style: that just comes naturally as you develop as an artist, and i was certainly inspired by a lot of the things i watched/consumed and artists i admired which absolutely shows in my work i think (manet. western comics. fma. avatar. pjo fanart. there are tells. you know how it is.)

also flip your canvas !!! like see below ... frankly this marcille is so lopsided (her entire face should shift to the left) LOL !! flipping horizontally makes the anatomy mistakes obvious, and shows you you what you need to fix. i should never have posted this as is but sometimes it works for humor and an artist is lazy </3

AND ALWAYS USE REFERENCES WHEN YOU CAN!! i should use more references tbh!!! it helps with posing, getting anatomy correct, etc, and my friends use pinterest a lot, though i tend to just google when i need to LOLLL

also draw what you like. there is genuinely nothing that is better for your art than getting into something REALLY BAD and then non stop drawing it. time + practice will lead to improvement no matter what the subject is!

i hope this was not too much information all at once !!! and some of it is helpful!!! it's a lot of basic improvement tips that i try to practice and use when i can :) so sorry that this got so long!!!!

[robertogreco]

This post of mine is from September 2022, now migrating here from my hard drive having removed it from a watch forum that I left last year.

Ways of Seeing with John Berger and Pete McConvill

I’ve had that photo above of the late John Berger on my computer since August 25. I was trying to identify the watch he was wearing and my best guess is a Patek Philippe Calatrava 5127 like this one. Please let me know if you have better ideas.

But that’s not the primary reason that I am making this post. It’s a video by Pete McConvill, his latest, that has me thinking about Berger beyond his watch. You might not agree with Pete (I don’t always, but I very much do in this case), but you can’t accuse him of not being very thoughtful about his opinions. He himself admits,“I overthink everything.” I am probably the same way. Anyway, I recommend watching “Two Watches you should NEVER buy” and I’m going to build on it a bit below.

At 1:30, Pete references art criticism. He recommends using a technique he learned from that realm to form better opinions about the watches we see. That technique begins with a call to “deliberately focus on something for longer than you maybe feel comfortable with and drink in the detail.” He goes on from there to “Can I close my eyes and describe it accurately from memory?” This approach has a focus on aesthetics, and when we make jewelry purchases – Pete is also good at reminding us* that watches are mostly jewelry these days – that can be very important in making informed decisions to avoid buyer’s remorse.

But seeing and noticing can go beyond that too. That’s where John Berger, whose work I admire, comes in. In 1972, he created a television series called Ways of Seeing. I recommend it to people all the time. It’s easy to find online. Here’s the first episode to get you started:

The process of seeing paintings, or seeing anything else, is less spontaneous and natural than we tend to believe. A large part of seeing depends upon habit and convention.

There is also a great book adaptation of Ways of Seeing that came after the series. You should be able to find a used copy very easily and inexpensively if you are interested. Or you can just read it online here. It’s a great book and I have passed along many copies over the years.

The Wikipedia entry for Ways of Seeing leans on a quote of James Bridle, author of the reverently titled Ways of Being (2022), to succinctly describe the series:

The series was intended as a response to Kenneth Clark's Civilisation TV series, which represents a more traditionalist view of the Western artistic and cultural canon, and the series and book criticise traditional Western cultural aesthetics by raising questions about hidden ideologies in visual images.[3] According to James Bridle, Berger "didn't just help us gain a new perspective on viewing art with his 1972 series Ways of Seeing – he also revealed much about the world in which we live. Whether exploring the history of the female nude or the status of oil paint, his landmark series showed how art revealed the social and political systems in which it was made. He also examined what had changed in our ways of seeing in the time between when the art was made and today."

This is all to say that Pete’s recommendation to look closely even beyond comfort resonates deeply with me. I like to look very deeply aesthetically, but also – as Berger instructs – ideologically, socially, economically, and politically. It helps that I am a strong believer in delayed gratification as this can take a very long time to do. Many of you know I was very slow to buy a watch. My next watch, if there is one, will take an equally long or longer time coming. In the mean time, I might not get the adrenaline rush and gaga feelings of a new watch, but I will be very gratified with all the seeing I get to do.

---------

*From the caption to Pete’s video (and on all of his videos):

In my opinion a $15 Casio or a $50 G-Shock are probably the only real tool watches and pretty much everything else is jewelry.  So as we are talking about jewelry I think style is substance and I tend to believe history, brand, style, design, execution, and aesthetics are more important than specs.  A dull design with a good movement is a dull watch, and an exciting design with an average movement is an exciting watch.

[nacentart]

I Can't See the Trees For the Wood

David Nash is a much admired British sculptor who has mainly worked with wood during his long career as an artist. Nash left Kingston College of Art in 1967 and bought a chapel very cheaply, in the hills of the Snowdonia Welsh slate quarry town of Blaenau Ffestiniog, which came equipped with high vaulted ceilings, ideal for working with large tree trunks. He still very much lives and works in Blaenau and as well as his artistic practice, he has inspired many students worldwide on sculpture in mainly wood, but has also recently created bronze sculptures. The wood that Nash uses is carefully selected for its properties, and it is also noted that the trees that he works with have naturally fallen or are diseased. Nash’s most famous two works are the subject of some fascination for me. The first sculpture called, Ash Dome, 1977, is a living sculpture and is situated in a mysterious, secluded spot in Snowdonia.

It consists of a series of 22 ash trees that Nash trained to form a kind of covert whirlpool in the Eryri landscape. I would love to visit the ash assemblage, however, its location is a clandestine mystery; only a few are lucky enough to find its whereabouts. From photographs, it looks like it has been caught beneath a freak tornado and gnarled into formation. Nash wanted to plant something to represent hope for the 21st century when the outcome of that likelihood looked bleak in late 1970s Britain. Nash sees his living sculptures as engaging in the physical realms of space and time as if ‘the doctor’ was dabbling in art. He views it as fourth-dimensional art, and Nash is very inspirational in the intellectual rigour of his practice. The sculpture is the genesis, and the end emerges through the pathway of time.

What Nash had come to believe in his love of sculpture, is that his outdoor works do not try to resist the natural elements but have a relationship and engage with their environment. Nash came to this belief when he understood at a young age that the reason he did not like a lot of outside sculptures was due to the destructive resistance to those elements. If they were not preserved, they would look awful or worse; Nash anticipates this with Ash Dome and in the shaping and growing of the trees. Nash’s other famous piece is called Wooden Boulder, 1977. Also, a piece that actively connects with the natural elements, be it at a different point of the life-death cycle. When Nash first sculpted the piece, it was barely touched with his chainsaw and just about took on its spherical form. Nash originally wanted to launch the boulder, but in transporting it back from the forest to his Methodist chapel, it became trapped halfway down a waterfall and he realised that is where it should live. The whole point was its movement and relationship with the elements. It eventually made its way down the stream and into the river Dwyryd estuary after many years slowly moving through the North Welsh landscape. Indeed, it had a very eventful journey through the years and is unfortunately hidden, for now.

Will it reveal itself once more? It is still there somewhere, It might have escaped, but it is there. It is probably Nash’s most famous piece and defies any artistic label. Could it even be performance art? I think the profundity of Nash’s Wooden Boulder cannot be understated. I love Nash’s teaching philosophy, he has come to believe that you don’t just teach a child things as if an empty vessel taking on board information and then being tested on, but rather a child is born with everything already there and the child just needs to learn to identify what they have inside, so Nash says that the teacher's role is to give the child appropriate experiences that they can recognise in themselves. When someone loves an artist's work, it is because they are acknowledging something in themselves. I love this idea and I also believe it to be true.  Nash has exhibited worldwide over the years. Who knows when and where Nash’s most famous piece of art Wooden Boulder will be exhibited next?

[snotsloth]

"Writers steal things. It's just a thing."

Definitely recommend this TikTok on fantasy and science fiction writers "stealing" concepts from one another, and specifically Dune. Go watch it, it's quite good and has some great insights.

At times in my life, I really struggled with world building or coming up with story mechanics because I was worried my ideas weren't "original" enough. I was also coming up in the "TV Tropes" and "Cinema Sins" era where being derivative was like the worst thing you could be as a creator. Oh you use well known tropes? People can predict how your book is going to end? You're a bad writer.

Since then it's been proven time and again that predictability is not actually as much of a story killer as we were led to believe. If you think about famously bad TV show finales like Game of Thrones or Lost, a lot of them have one thing in common. The writers' main goal was to surprise the audience. They went with what was least expected, not what was narratively satisfying.

But surprising does not always mean satisfying and in story telling, it often leads to other emotions like disappointment, confusion, frustration, or outright anger. People actually like it sometimes when they can see a particular ending coming or identify a particular trope that they like and can follow to its inevitable conclusion.

This is because people like patterns. We're hardwired to seek them out, even where they don't actually exist. It's how we interpret the chaos of the world around us. Archetypes, tropes, and foreshadowing help ground your audience in the narrative. They serve as signposts to help them find their way and understand the story you are telling them.

I took a very basic music theory class as an elective at university and I remember the professor explaining music as a constant tension between repetition and variety. A composition often consists of variations on a theme. You'll have the same note sequence but played in different key signatures, or the tempo changes, or you may modulate up and down. But ultimately, keeping the audience's interest relies on keeping a balance between repetition and deviation.

The same is true when writing a story. It's actually a good thing to take inspiration from other writers and artists that you admire. You are standing on the shoulders of giants. Centuries of narrative experimentation and tradition have come before you and abandoning all that would be a waste.

Plus, as you explore and take ideas in from other writers you will also start realizing what you don't want to "steal." No work is perfect, and as you experience more of what you like you will also discover what doesn't work. Sometimes it's obvious stuff like racist tropes that are harmful to your audience, misogyny and lack of development for female characters, or even just plot beats that you find boring. (Citation: I love The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay but I always struggle to get through the part where Joseph is stuck in Antarctica.)

Very often, your early writing will feel like you just made a collage of all the stuff you liked most in your favorite stories. It will feel derivative because you are still processing the structures, tropes, and aesthetics that you like. As you continue to write, and continue to read and explore other modes of art, those edges will start to soften and blend into one another. Like the ingredients of a stew, all your inspiration will get mixed up and brewed together into something that is uniquely your voice.

That's what is really wild about honing your craft. You have to make shitty derivative projects before you can make something truly original and great. Creating a good story usually doesn't happen by just learning what has been done before and doing not that. A good, unique, personal story comes from embracing all the influences on your work that you've stirred around in your brain, stewed for 10+ years and poured back out as something brand new.

Michael Chabon, author of aforementioned favorite book, The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay once wrote, "All novels are sequels, influence is bliss." So, if you're tackling NaNoWriMo this month or just trying to get something on the page and keep getting stuck on the anxiety of "am I just stealing ideas from better writers?" Don't worry about it. You absolutely are, but so was every other writer you've ever admired. Anyone who says otherwise is a filthy liar.

Embrace your influences. Be mindful and deliberate with them in your work. Through them, you'll find a voice that is genuinely and uniquely you. And above all, keep writing!

[short75harvey]

Perhaps you are not the type that takes into consideration themselves a leader. Or, you may be one particular but consider that you could do a better task. In either case, everybody can improve their control skills, so this information is going to assist you by describing several things that you need to know.

When working to improve in the area of authority, it is crucial that you simply produce proficiency. Young people need to rely on you are aware of what you really are performing as a way to truly feel confident in your control capability. Instill confidence in those who comply with you by choosing a tutor to assist you to become genuinely experienced in what you do. Do what's necessary to promote class unity. This simply means making sure that everybody knows what jobs they must execute and what all others is doing. This helps prevent identical effort. Also, make sure every single person in the group maintains others current on progress. This may cause spending budget and time overruns not as likely. When you are within a control function, try to prevent utilizing severe, or frustrating feedback together with your associates. As an alternative to utilizing negative reinforcement, attempt starting up the dialogue with a good opinion, then gently eliminating to your dilemma or worry. This assists these to allow their safeguard down, and bear in mind that you are currently on the part. Excellent leaders needs to be sincere folks. Do what you could to inform the reality. Stay real. If you tell the truth, do so kindly. Be open up about any errors who have transpired. Mistakes may happen, so you need to agree to them. It really is these faults that can be used to identify a new remedy. They can supply you with practically limitless prospects. Make certain your subordinates and co-workers know that you are somebody that is friendly. It is likely you don't want to depart pockets with your agenda for chat and socializing, but it's required. Your workers count on and are entitled to your guidance, respect and admiration. From it, they are able to grow to be your finest company advantage. Without this, they develop into a great enterprise accountability. Keep in mind that regardless how much you care for a organization you benefit or personal, many of your subordinates are just there for a paycheck. Consequently their every day conduct will most likely just subconsciously simulate and also amplify your very own. This means that your excellent disposition and enthusiasm can be transmittable. Alternatively, so can your malaise and stupidity. If in business, make an effort to usually lead by illustration and not simply by title. Even if you are not much of a supervisor or director, be nearly as good on your task because the particular person above you. This is often a easy way to privately progress the step ladder, especially if the higher ups see you motivate increased output in anyone near you. Don't do just about anything dishonest or devious. If you need other individuals to regard you, you need to be worth that admiration. If you inform others your enterprise supplies wonderful support, you really certain your workers learn how to give this. Becoming a great leader is just not exactly about paying excessive attention to each and every move that folks make. It is about displaying people the easiest way to do points and letting them demonstrate they are equipped. You will need to give encouragement and reinforcements to help them do their best. Tend not to be afraid to leap in and assist. This is easier when you focus on website together with your team, but is achievable from afar should you be artistic. If any individual from the crew requirements support, jump in and present them a hands. You may learn a lot from the event. While you can be a head, it is crucial that you can attempt your greatest to obtain in addition to other folks. Whilst it may look easier to supervisor them all around and tell them what to do, you will convince other individuals that you will be a great director should you be element of a fantastic group. Author is necessary for people in leadership jobs to offer the team a speech while in meetings and performance evaluations. It can be attractive to complete each of the talking, but in order to encourage individuals, reveal that their viewpoints and ideas have importance, and that you wish to hear them. Working out great company management will help you irrespective of your work. Even if you don't desire to progress, having these skills can make you so priceless that the task safety is exactly what your colleagues might only desire. In a small organization, you might even be the reason why your small business becomes ahead of the load.

[jokerfic]

Do you ever find it hard to push yourself to keep writing/to finish a fic? I really admire your works, especially pastimes, because you write both good quality and a good quantity with your stories. I find i'll plan out this long fic, and know all the details, but when it comes to writing more than a few chapters I find it difficult to continue. I don't know if it's just me getting bored of my own idea or being lazy but, do you have any advice for seeing a story through to the end?

Oh, it’s hard forrrr suuuuure. There’s a post floating around about how Charles Dickens shouldn’t be given credit for his prolificity bc he didn’t have streaming services and it strikes me to my core every time I see it. It’s part of why I like Neil Gaiman’s writing advice more than anyone else’s (in no small part because it’s really advice, not rules for you to follow– I hate “writing advice” that’s really a bunch of “don’t EVER use adverbs” and “write only in the mornings!” and other things that only cage you in rather than making you feel free)– it basically boils down to “write anything, write everything, just make the time to write.”

and generating content is just one part of the multi-pronged problem– the second is generating content for a specific project, consistently enough that you actually finish it, lol. some people would have you believe that if you love a project enough then it’ll always come naturally (and imply or even outright say that if it doesn’t come naturally, you don’t really love it– side note, I like some of Charles Bukowski’s poetry but he can eat my entire ass with that “if it doesn’t come easily then it’s not what you’re meant to be doing” idea). That’s only part of it. A thousand writers better than I am have already said that love/“inspiration” only gets you so far, and after that comes the work.

I’ve found that to be true. Not that the love doesn’t come back! I’m constantly falling in love and out of love with different WIPs, and each time I fall back in, I get a little bit (or a lot!) more done, but there’s definitely a point where I say “okay, I’m not allowed to work on anything else until x book is finished.” (Whether or not I stick to that resolution is a different matter.) Honestly, it happens the most with jokerfic because I have a small but active and devoted audience and I start to feel THE GUILT if I leave them too long without new content bc they’re so loyal and it has to be a symbiotic relationship or it’ll 100% die.

idk, man, I’m mostly musing out loud here because writing is work, and it might be fun work, and fulfilling work, but you have to allot time and energy to it specifically, and if you do want to finish and publish something on the longer side (fanfic or original), you have to be the one to decide to put that time and energy into it– no one else can do it for you.

All that to say: you have to figure out what motivates you, and what’s important to you. Personally I’m motivated by a moderate dose of ambition and just a little bit of spite (I see writers I don’t like flourishing, I think “I can do better than that,” and it’s good for at least a few pages), as well as feedback from readers and the desire to be able to re-read the specific, finished work whenever I want to. Probably more significantly, and not to be morbid: it’s extremely important to me to get these stories out there and not let them die with me. Listen, I may be a slow writer, but I live and breathe storytelling, it’s the majority of what I think about, and there’s very little that kicks me in the ass like the realization that time is coming for me and all of us, and I don’t have an unlimited amount of it to waste. So what’s important to you, what’s worth spending your time on? Rewatching a TV show you’ve seen all the way through 3 times already? or making something new and sharing it with people, connecting to people through a story that’s important to you?

of course, you can’t and shouldn’t aim to be productive all the time, you’re not made for it, you need to live your life in addition to doing your work. Stephen King says you have to read a lot if you want to write well, and I agree with him. It’s harder to write people if you’re never around people! Some days you are just gonna NEED to veg out in front of the TV (or tumblr) because you don’t have the energy, mental or otherwise, for anything else. you have to read books, watch movies and tv, spend time with people, live your life, have experiences, if only so you’ll have more to draw from when you are working.

Outside of that normal “living life” stuff, I’d focus on trying to trim things that you know are a waste of time, or that drain your energy without reward. Delete the social media you can do without (or outright hate but for some reason haven’t pulled the plug on yet). If you’re sitting down to write, then write, even if you have to use an app to block out the million distractions that are just a click away. If you can, try and make friends that write so you can egg each other on (there are a lot of writing Discords out there that may be helpful). I personally like reading or watching interviews with artists (not even just writers) that inspire me or that I relate to– the richness of David Milch’s mind and the way he seamlessly ties together humanity, community, history, and art makes me want to work harder and be better so that someday I can be a fraction as good as he is, I found out like yesterday that Donna Tartt and I have basically the same process (and take about as long to finish a thing lol), Jack White’s live performances energize me and make me want to create, Tom Waits is a natural born storyteller and funnyman who weaves such a thick atmosphere and mythology for himself with every word that I feel compelled to try and do the same.

and that’s it, that’s the process that consistently results in the most productive work for me: I read or watch other creators I admire until I’m whipped up into a frenzy of needing to do something, then I get in front of a screen and do it. When the excitement runs out, I pretend it hasn’t until it comes back (with mixed success, but really, “fake it till you make it” is an EVERGREEN piece of advice in almost every area). I try not to let too many months slip away without having something finished and semi-polished to show for my time. That’s about the only way I know how to do it anymore.

[bratz-kitten]

the sun through the houses 

sun in the 1st house: you irradiate confidence and self-assurance, as if you know exactly who the fuck you are and what you're here to do and people are very drawn to that kind of energy in you, to the way you're so full of life, spontaneous, ready to face anything that life throws at you and your ambitious nature. you thrive when you're uplifting others to feel as good as you do because you don't want to shine alone, and because on the inside, you might be much more insecure than people are aware of - you understand what it's like to be at rock bottom, but you're good at hiding this part of yourself. can be very controlling and competitive, and if you were raised in an environment where your parents used to fight a lot, you might chase conflict wherever you go. be careful with being arrogant and proud, and be aware that your strong energy might overwhelm a lot of people. whatever you do, you follow your heart. you need appreciation and recognition from others. you keep your cool in the most stressful situations. 

sun in the 2nd house: you crave to achieve financial success; here, the planet of the ego is tied to the house that rules material possessions and our self-worth, so you want to achieve power by getting rich because that's how you feel safe. you're very talented when it comes to business and making good investments that'll allow you to get to the next step. when it comes to your ambitions, if you want something, you'll work hard for it and only stop when you get it. you're very witty, with your dry humor and sarcastic personalities, you truly have the best comebacks lmao and above all, you always keep your word. you take pleasure in everything lavish that life has to offer; you have great taste and know when something is of value almost instinctively. you need to make sure you're appreciating the people in your life instead of only what you own and your ambitions because you're at your best when you're expressing your kind and generous side. you might be into retail therapy when you feel sad or empty, but afterward, you might feel terrible because the fulfillment shopping gives you is only temporary. careful with being controlling or possessive. 

sun in the 3rd house: you use your mind like a weapon. you truly have a way with words and you're able to express yourself in a way that leaves everyone wanting to know more about you; but most of all, you crave to keep on learning more and more and to expand your knowledge, because that's what feeds your soul. spontaneous personality; bold but unpredictable and you feel a sense of pride whenever you think about your friends, they're very important to you. you have the capability to bring stories to life, this placement is amazing for aspiring writers, and you like analyzing your surroundings which, in turn, makes you a very adaptable person. constant change in your way of thinking because you're always viewing things from different perspectives. you can become easily bored when you aren't feeling mentally stimulated, which is why you're always seeking new experiences, communicating with others and why you live so much in the present. persuasive. people who don't seek to expand their minds terrify you. you refuse to live in the shadows of your siblings, you have a need to stand as your own person. 

sun in the 4th house: when the planet of the ego is in the house of our family life, our inner experiences and our childhood trauma, you are blessed with a rich inner experience that leads you to want to delve deep into what you went through and how those experiences shaped you into the person you are today – and that means the trauma you went through, too. if you had bad experiences in your child, your journey is longer and harder because you find it harder to understand life, and you might've compared your home life to the "outside world" a lot, feeling like they were two different entities (think sinclair from demian). you're very caring and nurturing and very attached to your family, either the one you were brought under or the one you want to establish. having a home that feels cozy and safe is what brings you security, and you want to bring happiness to the ones you love the most. be careful with being too pessimistic and feeling paranoid that something bad will suddenly happen, and also with being too controlling and domineering. you need a lot of reassurance, but be careful with coming off as if you don't trust your loved ones. very strategic, you play the long game. 

sun in the 5th house: you literally irradiate artistic talent and creativity! you thrive when you express yourself and your originality and get recognized for it, and appreciation for your efforts is very important to you. intelligent, you can be very cunning and strategic, at the same time that your optimism and spontaneous nature naturally commands attention from others. very dramatic, you shine in the eyes of others. but although you have a happy aura to you, you can be very hard on yourself, thinking you're not good enough whenever you're not being appreciated. at your worst, you can have an exaggerated sense of pride, dominating energy, manipulative tendencies or feeling less than others. you may fluctuate between focusing a lot on yourself and being overly generous with everyone in your life. bold, you do a lot just to feel alive. you're very loyal and love deeply, passionate and nurturing, but be careful with involving yourself with people who take advantage of that. you should realize that appreciation should come from yourself and not others. if you add discipline to your originality, you can become very successful. 

sun in the 6th house: one of your driving forces is your attachment to your work and your need to be of service for others and to be recognized for your efforts. health, dieting, exercise and keeping a structured routine are very important to you. you have a constant need to be perfect and that can be your own worst enemy, because when you or others aren't meeting your high standards, you might feel like you're weak and have your insecurities taking over you. you can't stand being told what to do. very self-aware. a tendency to be a workaholic because it's what makes you feel proud of yourself; you need to feel like you're making the world a better place. stress can easily physically affect you, you should understand that validation needs to come from yourself and not from others, and accept that having imperfections is human, it doesn't make you weak! careful with having a routine too restrictive that doesn't allow you to have fun, work can become an obsession for you. you truly always want more and need to keep busy and productive to feel safe. don't let your insecurities stop you from pursuing your ambitions. 

sun in the 7th house: you have a very strong sense of justice because of your capability of analyzing a problem from all different perspectives. you need to bring peace everywhere you go and to help others in any way you can. you have a special charm that others feel drawn to, and many admire you for your caring nature and talent at giving advice, making you often the center of attention in the middle of groups. sociable and good with words, you're very persuasive; although you might tend to identify yourself too much with what others think of you – you should understand that others' opinions aren't that important and it's how you view yourself that matters. you crave affection and are very sensitive when it comes to your relationships, you would do anything for your loved ones and you're very in tune with their needs. you can have people-pleasing tendencies because you're terrified of rejection. you're determined to succeed and to build an amazing self-image because you have a gift when it comes to social intelligence. can have some open enemies.

sun in the 8th house: can attract a chaotic life that pushes you into achieving transformations because that's how you grow and evolve, through the process of death and rebirth. you can't deal with superficiality and you crave deep connections with people, intimacy and to evolve with the person you love. creative. you may feel like the universe sends you messages so that you'll reach an awareness of some kind. you love experiencing new things and especially with yourself, you constantly look forward to changing your appearance and your spiritual or emotional views on the world. you feel a need for self-improvement. very secretive, you value privacy more than anything and you don't allow almost anyone to figure you out. you might be terrified of not finding people who want to connect with you as deeply as you want with them. tendency to isolate yourself emotionally, as in you might open up to others about superficial matters but when it comes to emotions, you're terrified of showing that part of yourself. you want to help others through their darkest times. 

sun in the 9th house: you love learning and dream of exploring the world, it's like you can absorb any information that you get your hands on. very idealistic and dreamy, it's hard for you to keep grounded on reality and material things when you're so concerned with the metaphysical, to understanding the secrets of the universe and all that is spiritual, philosophical, religious and transcendental. so enthusiastic and curious, it's like you can't stay still for a minute and long to go on adventures. you can see the best in people, but be careful with only seeing their good parts – you need to understand that nothing is black or white and people are morally grey and complex, not all bad nor all good. might be very pessimistic if you've gone through something traumatic that completely shattered your perceptions of the good in the world; you might feel like things are never going to get better (i promise they are). very proud of your knowledge. high ideals and honesty. loyal to your beliefs always. careful with being too authoritative. 

sun in the 10th house: when the planet of the ego falls in the house of social status, you seek power above all. you want fame, notoriety and to lead, and when not achieving what you want, you might become insecure. you can't help that ambition runs in your blood, but you should make sure you're doing things because you love doing them and not just to get recognized. it's like you need to achieve so that you can feel proud of yourself because you never felt that kind of support when you were younger, and achieving success feels like a life or death matter to you. you ooze charisma and you naturally draw attention to yourself, wanting to be recognized for your talents. very aware of how others perceive you. but even if you're a great leader, you hate following orders which can make you have problems with those in charge – be careful with making enemies and with stepping on others to get what you want, it’s very important that you keep a strong sense of morals or else you can grow to be arrogant and tyrannical. at your worst you can start abusing your power; at your best, you can use it to better the lives of all those around you like a true leader.

sun in the 11th house: here, the planet of ego is in the house of friendships, hopes, inventions and the collective, making you shine when you're able to help others. your friends are the most important thing for you, but be careful with identifying too much with them. you carry yourself with so much confidence, you're so full of life and with a love for learning and giving to others. eccentric personality and big dreams. you want to stand for a cause that matters to you alongside others who you love. others gravitate towards your magnetism, individuality and friendly nature, naturally looking up to you as a leader. if you happen to have been betrayed in the past, you might shut yourself completely from friendships due to a fear of trusting the wrong person again, but please don't deny yourself your need to socialize and to express your revolutionary ideas to others because you truly shine when you're around those who you trust and help you grow. 

sun in the 12th house: you might have a very hard time understanding who you are and your identity, and because of this sense of unclarity about yourself + your intuitive and empathetic nature where you absorb others' energies like a sponge and need a lot of solitude to recharge yourself, you might feel like you need to keep a mask in public, to play a character to feel safe interacting with others. plus, it doesn't help that you have perfectionist tendencies and hate failing and making mistakes. there's a tendency to feel very insecure and misunderstood, and to feel melancholic and with turbulent emotions, so you should be gentler with yourself and allow yourself to express your sensitivities, the way you're so compassionate and giving. because even if you need time to recharge for introspection, you shine when you can help others. be careful with developing self-destructive behaviors. artistic tendencies because of the depth of your emotions and inner world. you can be truly wise and others might see you as an "old soul" because of that. you might be a night owl. psychic potential. 

[comicaurora]

Hi Red! I really admire your work and everything you do. Do you have any tips for someone who doesn't know how to art but really wants to learn?

Thanks! Boy, that's a tricky one. I've never been a very good art student, so I can't really speak for what teaching methods work.

For me, what worked best was sheer volume. My older videos are absolute Hot Messes for a reason - I was very inexperienced with digital art when I started out. But with dozens of illustrations in every video I ended up getting a ton of practice; I wasn't setting out to improve, but it happened naturally as I got a better feel for what worked and what didn't. No matter how iffy you are starting out, if you do enough art, you will become more polished. You'll look for shortcuts and simplifications, ways to make certain effects work, and in the process you'll build a style that works for you. This is why having a sketchbook is so useful - doodling a few things a day will make everything a lot smoother over time.

On a more technical level, I always recommend life drawing first and foremost. I'm also very bad at it, but it's ultimately the best way to improve. There's no better way to get a feel for musculature and anatomy, light and shadow, material textures - everything real and observable and frequently stylized. It's very tempting to try and learn by copying other people's styles, and I've seen a lot of very impressive artwork come from that practice, but you can almost always identify the source of the style. I've seen people who very clearly grew up drawing disney princesses, sailor scouts, and even one webcomic where the creator had very obviously learned to draw on Elfquest fanart. It's not bad, but it's limiting; it teaches you the shortcuts developed for that style and doesn't encourage you to find your own way to stylize or capture certain effects.

So: lots of drawing, lots of life-drawing. I think it's also important to internalize that no drawing has to be perfect. I had this huge problem when I was younger where I wouldn't want to draw anything if I didn't know I could do it right. Sketchbooks are for doodles, practice and half-finished concepts, not final "perfected" works. Don't hold yourself to an impossible standard or you'll be too stressed and frustrated to improve.

I also think it's ultimately most important to find a subject you actually enjoy drawing. I stalled out on art for years in middle school until I started developing ideas for Aurora and suddenly had a reason to draw. If you want to draw something, you'll want to get better at drawing it so you can make it look right. I know some people who love drawing environments, some who love drawing incredibly intricate and detailed objects from life, some who love designing characters, and several who love drawing fanart above all else. Like any art, it's important to find the aspects you're personally passionate about and encourage those. Especially if you're trying to get into the practice of art but don't feel confident yet, it's important to identify the things that energize you to draw so you can build up momentum without getting discouraged.

I also strongly recommend consuming a lot of art - comics, cartoons, illustrations, animation, etc. As you develop an artist's eye you'll find you engage with this media in a new way - not just appreciating it at face value, but seeing its style and how its creator handled certain forms of stylization and how they managed to capture and create certain visual effects. (I'm always intrigued by how various styles handle noses. Noses are terrible.) You don't need to reinvent the wheel, and seeing how other artists have done things you might be struggling with can give you a leg up in figuring out your own way to handle it. For instance, the current method I use to do forested backgrounds is partially derived from some pixel art foliage effects I thought were really efficient.

SO - draw a lot, draw from life, draw things you love drawing, don't sweat it too much, consume media, hydrate

[mitthsyndic]

Here is my second attempt at writing Thrawn, much longer this time! Again if you have any criticisms or feedback then please feel free to share!

Read on AO3.

Summary: Lieutenant Thrawn meets the reader (gender neutral) at the Ascension Week celebrations on Coruscant, and she offers to show him around her art gallery. (Based roughly on the 2017 Thrawn book). 

Pairing: Thrawn x Reader (gender neutral, Thrawn is still a Lieutenant at this point).

Warnings: None.

Word Count: 1,715.

A Keen Eye

If you'd learned at least one thing from your meeting with Lieutenant Thrawn, it was that he was passionate about art. 

He wasn't simply an admirer or even a collector; he'd told you in detail about how he used an enemy's artwork in order to anticipate their tactics in battle, and ultimately defeat them. From what you could gather from his companions, this proved to be effective far more often than not. Your own companions scoffed dismissively at these claims, and not so politely ushered your group away from Thrawn towards more powerful, influential partygoers. 

However, you believed you could understand where Thrawn was coming from, and you felt compelled to see his analysis in action. After all, it wouldn’t exactly be an inconvenience to you, as he could simply meet you at your own art gallery here on Coruscant. Furthermore, it didn’t take a keen eye for art to notice Thrawn’s strikingly good looks; his dark blue skin and illuminating red eyes caused him to stand out among the other guests, and he was what drew you over here in the first place. If he didn’t appear to be interested in any romantic prospects, you figured you could at least have some fascinating discussions about the pieces in your gallery. 

"I had best follow my companions. However, Lieutenant Thrawn, I'd like to observe your analysis of artwork and the military conclusions you draw in person. Please, take my comm details and contact me to arrange a meeting at my gallery - that is, if you have any spare time." You smiled at him as you offered him your comlink.

His eyes flicked briefly between your face and the comlink, as though he was unsure how to proceed. You tried to read his face; it was unwavering and unreadable. Well, almost. You could have sworn you saw the corner of his mouth slightly upturn into a smile.

Taking your comlink and quickly inputting his details, he responded coolly, "That would be most pleasant. Allow me to check my schedule for my remaining days on Coruscant, and I shall respond with my availability." 

As he handed you back your comlink, your fingers brushed for a brief second. The fleeting contact was intoxicating, yet his expression remained unvarying. It was almost impossible to tell how he felt about the momentary brush of your hands, or if he could tell that your proposition was identical to that of a date. 

"Of course. It was delightful meeting the three of you, and I hope to see you again soon." Politely smiling at Ensign Vanto and Colonel Yularen, you reluctantly trailed after your friends, leaving you with the rest of the evening to reflect on your meeting with Lieutenant Thrawn.

**

It was late; with your thoughts consumed by your encounter with Thrawn, you had left the celebrations and gone to bed at your apartment on Coruscant. Awoken by the faint alert of your comlink, you drowsily sat up and picked it up, allowing the incoming transmission through. 

“Apologies if I woke you. This is Lieutenant Thrawn.” His smooth voice echoed out of the comlink. 

“No, not at all. And, please, there’s no need for titles when we’re alone.” You boldly suggested. From what you could gather, Thrawn was exceptionally good at reading body language and tone, so you tried to convey your desire for a more informal relationship, in case he hadn’t gathered the implications behind your invitation.

“Of course.” You were certain you could hear a smile behind his voice. “This may be of short notice, but I will only remain on Coruscant for another day. There is a lapse in my schedule tomorrow evening, and I leave the following morning. I would like to see the works in your gallery, and hopefully demonstrate my... abilities to you then.”

He was incredibly difficult to read -even more so when you couldn’t see him in person, but you were sure that you could detect a hint of flirtation in his tone.

“Tomorrow evening works for me. Allow me to send you its location. If you need any directions or your schedule suddenly changes, then feel free to contact me. I’ve got my comlink on me at all times.” 

“Thank you. I look forward to meeting you again soon.” Your comlink clicked off, and Thrawn was gone once again. 

You laid back down and allowed your mind to drift off to sleep, thoughts consumed by the mysterious Lieutenant Thrawn and your ‘date’ tomorrow. 

**

You’d spent all day debating on whether or not to close the gallery and give Thrawn a private tour, and, eventually, you decided against it. It was never busy at this time of night anyway, and you didn’t want to appear too forward if you had in fact misinterpreted his intentions, and he really was here to only demonstrate his analytical abilities. Then came the matter of your outfit; he’d provided a rough estimation of his time of arrival, so you couldn’t exactly run off and change into something more ‘date-worthy’ before he arrived, but if you dressed in your regular work clothes then Thrawn may believe that this meeting was strictly business. After much deliberation, you’d settled on an in between that appeared professional, yet a little flirtatious.

Once that was sorted, all you had to do was wait. Many admirers came and went, as did the occasional interested buyer, yet the minutes passed by slowly as you anxiously anticipated his arrival. Normally, you would consider yourself a fairly confident, collected individual, if somewhat an overthinker, but in comparison to Thrawn? You felt almost neurotic. 

Although he’d spent almost a full day now preoccupying your mind, all coherent thoughts dissipated out of your head once he finally stepped into your gallery. He was precisely on time, and wearing simple black garments that had presumably been issued to him by the Empire upon his admission into the academy. From what Colonel Yularen had said, Thrawn had been practically discovered by the Empire, as his home planet was not in a region familiar to you. He also hadn’t mentioned what species he was; at first guess he appeared to be Pantoran, yet his glowing red eyes suggested otherwise. You made a mental note to ask him at some point this evening. Furthermore, you realised he actually hadn’t told you his last name -or maybe he hadn’t told you his first name? As your lack of true knowledge about the man who stood in front of you became more and more apparent, it began to feel like an incredibly stupid idea to invite him here.

Though, it was too late to do anything about that now. I guess I’ll have to make sure I learn everything I didn’t think to ask, you thought as you approached him. His expression was indecipherable, as, you began to suspect, it always was.

“Welcome, Thrawn. May I call you that, or is that your surname? I didn’t think to ask yesterday.” You bit the bullet and chewed your way through the awkward question. 

“It is Mitth'raw'nuruodo. My native language is Cheunh, and Chiss is the name of my species.” He broke eye contact and looked around at the gallery, and you did the same. Currently, it was just the two of you in there. “May I ask how you came to acquire the gallery and its pieces?” 

Though, Thrawn didn’t appear to find it awkward at all. Your eyes locked, and that same small smile you identified the night before appeared on his face. “Yes, you may call me Thrawn. That is my core name, as Chiss names can be difficult for many species to pronounce.”

“Ah, I understand. May I hear it anyway? And, is Chiss the name of your language then?” You asked delicately, although Thrawn appeared unbothered by your questions. 

“Well, I’ve had a passion for art since I was very little, both painting and admiring it. I practiced as much as I could with every bit of free time I had, and I took any even remotely artistic jobs. If a neighbour wanted their walls painted, I’d do it for free and they’d let me keep any leftover paint afterwards. All of my money went towards buying canvases, sketchbooks, paint, brushes, even spray cans. Sometimes I’d even spray paint murals, though I think everyone else saw that as graffiti and vandalism rather than art.” You paused, and the two of you locked eyes again. He was listening intently, so you decided to continue on. “Anyway, as I got older I’d sell my paintings, but it didn’t provide enough money for me to live on, so I begged Zena, the old owner of the gallery, to give me a job here. I did small things at first, like sweeping floors and cleaning picture frames, but eventually I got to lead tours and meet with other artists. When she retired, she left the place to me, and here we are now.” 

Thrawn paused for a few moments, as though he was fully taking in and understanding your words. “How fascinating. Do you still paint now?” Thrawn began to walk slowly towards the closest painting on display.

“Yes, whenever I have any inspiration or time.” You followed close behind, intently watching his focused stare on the painting in front of him. 

He then turned back to you, and stopped just before the painting. “Is any on display? May I see it?” He questioned. 

“No, it’s all in the back in our studio. Plus, I’ve never fought any kind of battle in my life, so I doubt you’re going to be able to observe any military tactics from my paintings.” 

“Perhaps, perhaps not. Many do not realise exactly what their artwork can reveal about themselves or their culture as a whole. So, although you may have never fought before, I could look at your work and anticipate your possible movements and strategies if we were to engage in battle, whether that be in a ship or in hand to hand combat. I have demonstrated it in this particular way once previously with a friend.” 

He noticed the slightly apprehensive look on your face, and smiled. “Of course, we do not have to fight. That would not be very typical behaviour on a date, would it?”

[serenityseventeen]

Love & Letter: To The Thirteen Boys I've Loved Before

The Sixth Letter

----------------

To: Lee Jihoon

From: Y/N

I'm sorry.

Jihoon, I will not blame you for anything. If I were in your shoes, I would have been even more irritated than you were. I'm still irritated, actually.

I know for certain that you probably hate me so I will begin this letter for you by reminding us of our good times when no one was there to butt in.

When we first met in tech audio, I was really surprised that you were a musical genius. You knew how to work the garage band app right away and since we sat next to each other, I could already tell that you were familiar with it.

You were also able to play the guitar and the piano. I've always liked music so seeing someone play those two instruments just fascinated me. Not only that, but you also played the clarinet well.

You've probably lived around music all your life, right? I listen to music almost everywhere I go, every day, it's one of my human needs, but I have to admit, even after learning a bit of piano from you, I still have almost no idea about music. Genres of music are still hard to identify for me and I can still barely tell the difference in chords. I'm still thankful that you took the time out of your worktime to help me understand more about music.

Honestly, when I first saw you, Jihoon, I was intimidated. You didn't like exactly friendly and I just stupidly thought that you were one of those ‘perfectionist’ students who only cared for their grades and being the best. Also, just the way you looked when you didn't smile gave me that impression. However, when you smiled, you looked completely different. You looked cute. We laughed a lot together too.

I bet you that on our first assignment, I must've looked like a complete tech idiot. The assignment was just to come up with your original piece of music by messing around on the app. Was my confusion that easy to see through?

I don't know, but I think the moment that you helped me was when I started to realize you as the person you are now. You taught me how to use the app in such a gentle tone, you know that? I still feel like I can listen to your voice forever and I won't get bored of it.

I was happy with our forming friendship. I felt like I could truly be your friend. Plus, we had one other class together so I was able to talk with you a lot about music. Everything you say fascinates me and makes me believe that you are a musical genius. I still believe that you are even if I can't hear your songs anymore.

Speaking of your music, I think you should become a ‘pro’ music producer, lyricist, composer, songwriter, of them all. Your talent in music is truly undeniable!

That first piece you showed me called “17”, I have to say that that song may be my favorite out of all the songs you've sent me. I still have all the music files stored in my phone and I'll never delete them. It's not because I still like you that I'm keeping them but it's because I like the song. I might put them into an mp3 player and stick them on the back of this letter. Out of the 13 songs you've shown me, there was not one that I disliked.

Your voice is also heavenly. I love it. I don't understand why you aren't getting yourself a whole career already! You don't know this but when I was playing your song “Rock”, my father was totally digging it! Even my next-door neighbor wanted to know who was the artist behind “20”!

There was also that time when you were helping me learn how to read music using the piano and our hands kept brushing against each other. Our shoulders were also glued together because the seat was so small. If your heart was racing just as much as how pink your ears turned, then please, believe me, my heart was beating twice as fast.

You didn't just teach me music and show me your creations, you also shared music that you enjoyed. A lot of the songs are still in my playlist. You have great taste in music too, Jihoon. I enjoyed every moment we spent just sitting at the window of the classroom, sharing headphones and listening to the songs you liked.

When they were love songs, I just couldn't help thinking that you chose the song for a reason. I'm quite an overthinker. I always thought that maybe one of the songs you showed me held your heart and maybe they did, but now I'll never know.

I'm your fan, Jihoon, even though you probably wouldn't want me to be anymore. I still admire you and I respect you a lot, that's why I'm deciding to write you this letter. I'm not going to get too close to you, I won't even try to bring us back to what we were because now, it's too awkward between us. I know that deep inside, you must feel so a deep hatred toward me, even if it wasn't entirely my fault.

I've realized what kind of person you are, Jihoon. You're kind, caring, talented in almost everything, shy, and stubborn. You love music. You hate it when someone who isn't close to you gets all up in your business as if they know everything. You also hate narcissists. You're selfless and humble.

I don't know who you told but I'm sorry. Your trust must have been completely broken. I mean, I can just imagine how painful it would be, being an introvert and telling someone your crush while trusting them to keep the secret only to have them spill it to the person's friends.

I hate my friends because they ruined our relationship but since they are my friends, I just can't abandon them as if we didn't spend years being best buddies. I've been distancing myself from them for a while now but I think it won't be long until we continue hanging out again. I want to hang out with you too but you must feel so... angry.

I heard that you're not friends with the guy who leaked the secret that you liked me. I truly hope that you can find a friend that is a true friend. I don't want you to live in fear and keep everything to yourself. I'll always be here for you though, so please, even if I don't speak with you, you can speak to me.

Gosh, what am I saying? It can't be fixed.

You must've overheard it when my friends dragged me away from your cafeteria table and whispered to me, “Did you know? He likes you!”

I was flustered and when I turned back to you, I still remember seeing your hands clench. That's when I sort of knew that we wouldn't be friends anymore.

Even after having your trust broken, you continued to hang out around me, which made me believe that if I confessed my feelings to you when the time was right, we could fall in love. So, I spent a lot of time learning about you.

That's when my friends came in again. They started teasing us in front of the whole class, saying all that stupid cheesy shit. I was ready angry and kept telling them to stop but they wouldn't because they just thought I was like them.

‘When you're in high school, you don't want the person in the relationship, you just want a relationship.’

That was not the case for me but that's what they thought. I wanted you, Jihoon. I was ready to teach you about me and get to know you better so that when I was ready to love, we would be able to stay together.

My friends are stupid.

They continued to pressure us to be together.

Knowing you, you must've gotten extremely annoyed and fed up with it, enough for you to end your friendship with me. And that's exactly what happened, right?

Each day, for a month, they came to our desks singing stupid love songs meant for children. They were so childish and I was growing so sick of it. I knew that you didn't like that shit. I knew that you were just enduring it but I couldn't stop it and I'm sorry.

We went through all that humiliation together. I think we could have had a better love story if your friend didn't leak your secret and my friends didn't act like children. I saw sparks in your eyes, that's why I had hope that we could fall in love together, but we couldn't even get ready to love.

I just remember that day when you ignored me. I was telling you that your piece sounded good and asked if I could get a listen, but you didn't reply to me at all. You still don't talk to me. It makes my heart ache.

When our friendship got ruined, I almost ruined my other friendships too. You don't know this but they kept pestering me, asking if you and I were finally dating and if we had a couple fight. They kept reassuring me as if they knew what we were going through and saying that it was just a small love fight and that we would recover soon. They didn't even know the problem was them so I yelled at them.

In the middle of the cafeteria, I slammed my hands on the table and shouted at them. I'm sure you heard me, you were in the same room. I'm pretty sure that you didn't know about this either but when I left the cafeteria in anger, I cried in the stall of a bathroom.

Now, I'm fine.

I wonder what you thought of me then. I mean, we still had to see each other but we didn't talk to each other like we were strangers. I was angry at you for not understanding me so I didn't want to speak or even glance in your direction, even if it did hurt to ignore you.

I think I know what you feel but all I'm thinking about your emotions are just assumptions in the end. You're a stranger to me now. A stranger that I loved.

You brought me the colors of music.

If only things didn't have to turn out so negatively. If only one friend kept his promise of keeping a secret... If only a group of friends didn't tease so annoyingly... Maybe then, things would be different.

Oh yeah, I'm sorry about this too. I overheard you playing a song the other day. Don't worry, I didn't record it but I cried to it. I just have a feeling that the song was about me. All the lyrics, the depressing but gorgeous sound of the piano, your emotional voice, it all brought tears to my eyes. Were you in pain?

I had never heard the song before. When I cried to it, I had my hands covering my mouth to keep noise from slipping. I don't know if you heard me because you just continued singing.

“Maybe I could have been a man

when everyone was telling me to.

But both choices were selfish,

keep you close or let me go,

so I chose

let's just not fall in love.”

I think your choice was for the better.

Sincerely,

Y/N

------------------

© serenityseventeen

6/21/21 - 11:01 am

a/n: sigh... I feel like this letter was so relatable on so many levels. My former friends were like that, always wanting a relationship but not the person in the relationship. They're too desperate. + ARTHUR KYEOM COMEBACK!??!? SVT CHINESE DRAMA OST!?!?

[ladykissingfish]

Highschool with the Akatsuki

*Modern-Day*

Hidan

Behavioral nightmare. Fidgets, drops things, disrupts others’ work, talks during study/quiet times. Has to be constantly reprimanded for his inappropriate jokes and foul language. Sent to the principal‘s office so much that he was asked his opinion when the man was choosing new carpeting. Most of his friends are exactly like him, so if they’re in the same class they have to be seated clear across the room from each other. Can be a good student when he TRIES; but doesn’t see the point in trying, so will just barely be passing his classes with C’s and D’s. Skinny jeans and Vans with open flannel shirts over white or black tank. Wears a necklace with strange symbol on it, when asked what it represents he’ll say “my religion” but won’t elaborate. In the bathroom between every class grabbing “a quick smoke”. Dyed his hair silver as a joke in the 6th grade, has kept it that way ever since.

Kakuzu

As serious as a heart attack, no matter the situation. Incredibly tall and with a stern face; is almost always mistaken for being the teacher by new kids. Has an impressive collection of “old-man” sweaters. The stingiest guy alive with a buck; will actually make you hand-write him an IOU slip over borrowing 50 cents for the vending machine. Decent in all subjects but a star in Economics. Has one or two “friends” but doesn’t seem particularly close to them (or anyone else for that matter). Doesn’t talk a lot in class but when he does it’s usually because he disagrees with a point the teacher is making, and he isn’t afraid to debate him or her until he’s acknowledged as being correct.

Deidara

Deidara is one of those people who needs constant stimulation to keep him engaged in whatever’s going on. Since school tends to involve a lot of tedious repetition, paying attention in class isn’t something he’s the best at. Most likely to “finish up” his homework assignments five minutes before class starts. Grades tend to fall in the B-/C+ range. The type to always pick a seat that’s in the back of the room and/or closest to the window. Has a sketchbook that he carries around with him wherever he goes. Style consists of ripped jeans over fishnets, combat boots, fingerless gloves, band t-shirts and oversized pullover hoodies. Super-long hair tied back in ponytail. One of the first (and only) people at school to *openly* identify as pansexual; gets asked out a lot but always declines everyone because dating “would interfere with his artistic process”. Doesn’t speak a lot in class unless the topic particularly interests him, in which case he will ramble on and on until politely stopped by the teacher. His table at lunch will always be full because others are drawn to his energy and charisma. The art room is his home away from home; on a first-name basis with the instructor.

Sasori

The smart, quiet kid. Tends to keep to himself and always appears to be in his own little world. Doesn’t ever seem to be paying attention in class, but when the teacher randomly calls on him, he has the right answer every single time. Always gets A’s but will get upset over a “low A” (in the 90-94% range). A good budgeter of time and will usually manage to get most of his homework done at lunch or during study hall. Has a (small) core group of friends and not looking to add to it anytime soon. Wears a lot of khakis and long-sleeved shirts or sweaters (even in the summer). Because of his organizational skills, technical mind, and proficiency in using tools, he excels in woodshop; often informally used by the teacher as an “assistant” to help other students with their projects. Absolutely hates gym (his small stature and delicate nature make physical exertion difficult for him); this will be the only class he doesn’t try for an A in, as he skips it as often as possible.

Itachi

Dear God, the girls ((and quite a few guys)) are crazy over this boy. Is thought of as being brooding, and mysterious ... and gut-wrenchingly handsome. Very quiet, rarely speaks in class, but when he DOES, it’s always something deep and profound. Top student grade-wise. Long dark hair and soulful eyes. Style is all black, distressed baggy pants with chains, long-sleeved band or anime shirts, boots, fishnet gloves, heavy silver bracelets and rings. Is polite to everyone but only has a handful of actual friends. Submits poems and short stories anonymously to the school paper; always gets published. Is occasionally persuaded by his teachers to volunteer as a student tutor; line will be literally out the door from people seeking his “help”. Has friends in the drama club so will go to every single school play to be supportive, even if all friend did was lighting or scenery.

Kisame

Tall and athletic; captain of the swim team. Isn’t the most handsome guy but popular because of his personality. Not really the best student, but keeps his grades up enough to be able to keep playing sports. Sweatpants, Nikes, and Letterman’s jacket. The type to step in when he sees somebody getting bullied. Has a secret love for Orchestra music and likes to sit outside the band room when it’s members have rehearsals. Friends with/friendly to absolutely everybody. Will go through more than one tray at lunch. Shines the brightest during gym class. Also a surprisingly good cook; will voluntarily take Home Economics as an elective and be one of the best bakers in the class.

Obito

Known around school as “that one guy with the mask”. Was apparently in a bad accident as a child that left the side of his face heavily scarred; adopted the practice of wearing solid-color face masks to cover damage. Teachers are made aware of his situation so no one ever tries to make him take it off; although he will do so at lunch, at a table of his close friends. Smart and articulate, everyone turns to look at him when he speaks in class. Tall and moves quickly (and silently); nobody ever knows he’s there until he’s right behind them. Dark jeans, boots and will always wear a leather jacket or trench coat, even on ridiculously hot days. Doesn’t laugh a lot but when he does, the sound of it could make anyone fall in love. A big eater of sweets; will always have some kind of candy on him that he will quietly slip beneath the mask and eat during class. When caught by teacher, will claim he had low blood sugar, and because he’s a good student otherwise he won’t be questioned further on it. The type to, at the beginning of the school year, sign up for a ton of after-school clubs, stay in them for a week, decide they’re boring, and duck out.

Zetsu

Oddball kid who sits by himself and talks to himself more than seems normal. Teachers have learned early on not to call on him in class, because he’ll just sit there and give them a silent, intent stare until they move on to someone else. Surprisingly good grades despite never talking/participating. Wears cargo shorts, T-shirts and sandals with socks, no matter the weather. Always goes outside in-between class periods; sometimes misses class altogether just to nap under a tree with his face in the sun. Eventually founds and is “captain” of the school’s gardening club; not many members but the ones that do join are very environmentally conscious, modern-day “hippies”.

Pein

Legitimately has like, 9000 piercings. There’s not an inch of this guys face that doesn’t have a shiny silver stud in it. Red and black seem to be the only colors in his wardrobe; lots of button-up shirts and zip hoodies. Has a ridiculously deep voice and is always super-intense, even when just hanging out with friends. In group projects, he’s always very quickly designated as the Leader. In his group of friends, it’s clear he’s the Leader. Not the best grades but above-average. Spends a lot of time with the blue-haired girl; it’s always rumored that they’re dating although both parties have claimed to be “just friends”. A terrifyingly persuasive arguer; joins and becomes star of the debate team within a week. The type to ask a very deep, pointed question during class and change the entire course of the teacher’s lecture.

Konan

The type to have a lot of close male friends but almost zero female ones. Tends to be the “mom” amongst her group. Excellent student, always the top marks in her class. A lot of admirers but always politely turns down potential suitors. Some piercings but nothing very extravagant. The school used to have a very strict rule about dying one’s hair “wild colors”, but she dyed hers blue and led a successful protest regarding freedom of expression. Her favorite class is literature, especially when they get to the Greek Mythology and Shakespeare units. Does origami as a hobby; when bored in class will sit and tear up bits of paper or napkins and create gorgeous little flowers. Clean and organized in every aspect EXCEPT for her locker, which is a (legendary) jumbled and unholy catastrophe.

[bigwhispersbluebird]

Intro: Singularity

Intro: Singularity, like its name, introduces the theme of the 2018 album, Love Yourself: Tear which follows the album Love Yourself: Her.

Written by RM and Charlie J. Perry, performed by V, this song is in my eyes, the epitome of what RM can do with his words. Before I even begin, I would like to summarize what I have learned about his writing style through my intense study of his work. He is very careful with his words. Unlike other members of his group, which have very different (yet incredible) styles of writing, RM writes like his words are alive, like they can hold a hundred different meanings and can be dressed however the listener likes. It is like he does not even belong to this era, I swear you can ask anyone to read the lyrics he writes and they will not be able to link it to a man of this age. He is eloquent and educated in his thoughts. He references books, mythology and writes like he is more than one person.

Which brings me to my next point. RM wrote this song for V and in and out, this song is V’s. What do I mean by that? That is something I’ll highlight as I go through the lyrics. So, let’s start.

The title of the song is ‘Singularity’ which can mean ‘being one or alone’. There is a mathematical interpretation as well which simply identifies it as a point where a function ceases to exist or takes an undefined value.

(Please note: I’ll make references to V’s solo song released before this which was Stigma. I’ll soon write its interpretation as well but for the sake of referencing I’ll mention that V talks about being punished for something recurrently in it.)

This song in essence introduces two sides of a person. One is hidden, as if behind glass or a mask, and another is the one that everyone sees. These two sides are described here as two different humans. One is what V knows and what we see of him. Another is hidden and even V forgets his existence. I believe that the hidden V is whom we heard Stigma from; dark, scared and regretful. I’ll refer to him as Taehyung for the sake of differentiation (please remember to separate that art from the artist; these are just two characters used to describe the idea that the song presents).

무언가 깨지는 소리 A sound of something breaking

난 문득 잠에서 깨 I suddenly wake up from sleep

낯설음 가득한 소리 A sound full of unfamiliarity

귀를 막아보지만 I cover my ears

잠에 들지 못해 but I can’t fall asleep

V feels like this is not his first life or his complete self. Like dreams or memories, he hears ‘something breaking’ which worries him because he does not relate it to anything. This gives the idea of him forgetting the existence of Taehyung. 

목이 자꾸 아파와 My throat gets sorer

감싸보려 하지만 I try to wrap it

나에겐 목소리가 없어 but I don’t have a voice

오늘도 그 소리를 들어 I hear that sound today, yet again

His throat hurts and his voice is gone like when you have been screaming a lot or stressing your voice. But he does not remember doing it. However, someone else is screaming and he hears it, not recognizing it.

또 울리고 있어 그 소리가 It’s ringing again, that sound

이 얼어붙은 호수에 또 금이 가 A crack on this frozen lake, yet again

그 호수에 내가 날 버렸잖아 You know I threw myself in that lake

내 목소릴 널 위해 묻었잖아 You know I buried my voice for you

I consider this as what he heard the voice say, as aforementioned. The voice, which belongs to Taehyung, talks about falling into a frozen lake and hiding because of ‘you’. As V is the one who is hearing this voice, I consider ‘you’ to be referring to him. For the sake of a public persona or a persona he wants to represent, Taehyung has tried to kill himself - the killing part comes from being in a frozen lake. As frozen is supposed to signify being paused or cold or even alone.

날 버린 겨울 호수 위로 On the winter lake I threw myself in

두꺼운 얼음이 얼었네 a thick ice has formed

잠시 들어간 꿈 속에도 Even in the dream I briefly went into

나를 괴롭히는 환상통은 여전해 the phantom pain that tortures me remains still

Back to V, he repeats what he just heard like we do normally when realizing something or while interpreting something until it has meaning. He would want to consider the conversation he had as just a dream but now he can feel the pain of being in the frozen lake because even though he tried to forget Taehyung, they are still the same person.

나는 날 잃은 걸까 Have I lost myself

아니 널 얻은 걸까 or have I gained you

나 문득 호수로 달려가 I suddenly run to the lake

오 그 속에 내 얼굴 있어 Oh, in the lake there is my face

He wonders what it all even means and whether this realization is even worth something. To check if whatever he feels is real, he goes to the lake that Taehyung mentioned and sees himself in it. This, in true RM fashion, references Narcissus, a Greek mythology character that falls in love with his own reflection in the water and dies of thirst rather than drinking the water because he was afraid that touching it would make his newfound lover disappear. Narcissus is often seen as a character that was vain and self absorbed. But here I consider it as someone who admires the mask he is wearing. V likes who he is as V (also symbolized using the ‘LOVED’ earring he is seen wearing in the video), not Taehyung or he thinks Taehyung is not someone that should be seen in his authenticity.

부탁해 아무 말도 하지마 I beg you, please, don’t say any word

입을 막으려 손을 뻗어보지만 I reach my hand to cover the mouth,

결국엔 언젠가 봄이 와 but, eventually, someday, spring will come,

얼음들은 녹아내려 흘러 가 and the ice will melt and flow away

The first line is said by V and the rest are from Taehyung’s perspective. V knows Taehyung, remembers him but also knows why he was hidden in the first place. The Taehyung of Stigma who wanted to reveal whatever he had done and wanted to be punished for it should stay quiet or else V’s cover will be blown which he is scared of. But Taehyung knows that this won’t last long. How long can he be hidden? Circumstances will reveal him and his truth in due time and that will be spring for him; a day of freedom.

Tell me 내 목소리가 가짜라면 Tell me, if my voice is fake,

날 버리지 말았어야 했는지 should I have not thrown myself away

Tell me 고통조차 가짜라면 Tell me, if even the pain is fake,

그 때 내가 무얼 해야 했는지 what should I have done then

V knows now and wonders if he can fool himself now or even fool others now that he knows what is hidden about him. But he remembers the reasons which made him hide and they are as real as ever. He still does not think that Taehyung is lovable or even acceptable to people.

To summarize, I would not say that this is about BTS themselves. They have shared multiple times that their personas that we see are who they are in reality but of course there are narratives that are not public and thoughts that are too dark to be shared as idols or celebrities. So taking a more general approach to understand the concept of this song, which also relates to BTS and to everyone of us in one way or another, is how we hide ourselves. Whether it be to please a lover or to fit in somewhere, we tend to hide certain parts of ourselves but when we are alone, we cannot help but acknowledge who we really are and that thought and idea haunts us.

Now, remember how V has at different times used Singularity to describe himself? How I mentioned that it is his song through and through? I have a theory and it goes something like this: we all know that Stigma has a meaning that has not been revealed. RM in his live said that it is V’s story and he will share it if he wants. Now, I really believe that V struggles with that - that he is torn about his past. That there are thoughts that he has that he has only kept to himself and does not want to bring forth. He considers himself as alone in that regard but mostly he considers himself ‘undefined’, someone he does not even know himself, yet.

Please remember, these are just my thoughts and my interpretation. I can be way off the mark. So, kindly, treat it as such. And keep showing love to the masterpiece that Intro: Singularity is.

Translations from https://doolsetbangtan.wordpress.com/2018/06/01/intro-singularity/

[ladyonfire28]

Noémie Merlant: "I remember very well the pride I felt on the red carpet."

One year ago, Portrait of a Lady on Fire, by Céline Sciamma, won the Best Screenplay Award at the Cannes Film Festival. The actress, who gives the lines to Adèle Haenel, looks back on the events that accompanied her contribution in this sensual, feminist film, made of glances, painting and flames. To be seen this Tuesday, May 19 on Canal+

Noémie Merlant remembers precisely July 14, 2018. That day, she went to her third audition for Portrait of a Lady on Fire, the new film of Céline Sciamma, in the presence of the director. At the end of her audition, the director said, "it's for you.” “My mind was so confused that I couldn't understand what she was telling me," said Noémie Merlant laughing. “I felt both a tremendous pressure and a tremendous desire because I measured the importance of the film and the role.”

The actress, who’s now 31 years old, seen in Curiosa, Heaven Will Wait and Paper Flags was thus chosen to be Marianne in Portrait of a Lady on Fire, and to play, with Adèle Haenel, two of the most beautiful film heroines of 2019, and certainly the most beautiful couple of women. Marianne, the painter in the carmine red dress who must secretly capture from memory the features of Heloise, who was promised to an arranged marriage.

In the staging of this incandescent lesbian love in the middle of the 18th century, the two actresses have irradiated the Cannes Film Festival. Contacted by phone while she was confined in her apartment in the 15th arrondissement of Paris ("in the street where I was born!") Noémie Merlant looks back on the few months that separated her from the ascent of the staircase, and the fever that gripped the Croisette after the film viewing.

"When I discovered the film, I couldn't talk. I felt dizzy from what I'd seen."

From the filming, which took place between Quiberon and la Chapelle-Gauthier, in Seine-et-Marne, Noémie Merlant keeps the memory of a special moment, suspended in time, "very cocooning. The atmosphere was very much like the one in the movie. We lived in a benevolent cocoon created by Celine Sciamma, a mixture of strong friendships that were beginning to emerge, of creation and artistic exchanges. I quickly felt a very strong sense of cohesion in the team." After seven weeks of shooting and several others of editing, Noémie Merlant discovers the result of their efforts. "I knew what we had done was going to make a great film, but when I found out, I couldn't speak, I felt dizzy from what I'd seen, what I'd participated in. A very strong sensation, which I could express later by walking down the street with Celine for a long time afterwards.”

In April, the team learns about the selection of Portrait of a Lady on Fire in competition at the Festival of Cannes, the first time for the director, who is a regular on the Croisette, after Water Lilies at Un certain regard (2007), Girlhood at La Quinzaine des Directeurs (2014) and My life as a Courgette, an animated film by Claude Barras that she co-wrote, also selected for La Quinzaine in 2016.

Looking back, Noémie Merlant realizes how "lucky" she was to be surrounded by people who knew the ins and outs of the world's biggest film festival, where all eyes would be on them. "Adèle is used to it, she was my guide. She keeps a certain distance from the event and its "big masquerade" side. If Cannes is also a place to have fun, we kept in mind why we were there. We knew what was at stake and the importance of this selection, and the fact that we were very close to each other made it easier for me to meet the Festival.”

"There was a burning feeling abroad about the film, a great expectation from the audience"

On May 19, 2019, the film crew, a magnificent band of women dressed in black or navy blue, walks the steps on the exhilarating female chorus that can be heard in one scene, composed by Celine Sciamma's lifelong friend, Para One, with Arthur Simonini. A moment of great intensity for Noémie Merlant. "I remember very well the pride I felt on the red carpet. The pride of having contributed to a film that speaks so well of love and sorority.”

At the end of the screening, the film was greeted by nearly ten minutes of applause, notably in front of Marina Foïs and Claire Denis. Noémie Merlant, her eyes filled with tears, embraces Adèle and savors this moment that will become unforgettable. "When the whole Grand Théâtre Lumière stands up and applauds, it's impressive, and I might only experience it once in my life," she whispers. Then comes the time of the party given for the film, and several hours of meetings with the press from all over the world. "Intense days. I'd never done interviews before, with a lot of small formats that tire you out before the longer meetings." The film was awarded the Screenplay Prize, a small disappointment for the director. "Céline made us come back to Cannes so we could live things together until the end. Of course, we would have liked to get more, especially in terms of directing. That's what struck me the most when I discovered the film. Its sobriety and elegance. But the trophy for the screenplay remains, of course, a very nice prize."

Portrait of a Lady on Fire was released in France four months after its screening in Cannes, and achieved an average score in theaters: it drew a little over 310,000 spectators, but was a real hit internationally, with more than 1.3 million admissions in 36 countries. 

“There was something burning around the film abroad, a great expectation from the audience, seized by this love story. This film carries a different voice, and allows it to be heard. Before working with Celine Sciamma, I had never heard of "male gaze" and "female gaze". Portrait of a Lady on Fire allows these important discussions, without any violence, only as an invitation to an another point of view." The film has particularly ignited the lesbian community, which has finally been able to identify with an other imaginary, different from what is usually represented on screen.

On Adèle Haenel's speech to Mediapart in November or the last evening of the César awards, Noémie Merlant prefers not to express herself, even if she stills says that she "admires her courage", and thinks back on this evening as "a movement, a renewal, a reconstruction". Of which the actress is certainly a part.