#learn the difference between fiction and reality anon

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hello! Someone genuinely trying to understand and perhaps unlearn some reactionary tendencies. With the response to that anon about "not asking if you're a pro or anti", the response about "imagine if they put this much effort into protecting real kids" definitely got me thinking. So... Is an adult shipping children and finding that hot NEVER a red flag? Or is it case by case on seeing how that person handles the distinction between fiction and reality in other things? And bringing the issue of real kids into it, if a real kid who has been abused sees someone shipping kids and finds that a red flag in that person, that... No, no I juicy answered my own question on that one. Block them and cultivate your own experience.

hi there anon, and congrats on trying to unlearn some things! and great job catching yourself at the end there, that's exactly correct.

I will start by saying this right out of the gate: fundamentally, I do not really give a shit about what made up scenarios about fictional characters people are jorking it to in private. I am, first and foremost, interested in how they are interacting with actual, real people.

"but Makenzie are you saying people who look at sexually explicit images of real human kids should be allowed near children?" no I'm not. please note that I was specifically talking about people engaging with fictional characters who are, you know, not real and do not have feelings and therefore cannot actually be hurt, traumatized, abused, etc, in any way that actually matters. I want to be so clear about this: you can genuinely think whatever vile things you want about fictional characters. you can enjoy any problematic shit you want with little guys who don't actually exist.

like, here's an example I use a lot: I'm kind of a huge Batman fan. don't know if you could tell that or not, I'm pretty subtle about it. if you spend any time in the Batman mythos, you know that this is a story where you just kind of have to take for granted that our hero is a billionaire using his vast wealth to dispatch vigilante justice with military grade weaponry and a small army of child soldiers and cop friends to help him put people in prison. these are moral quandaries that are discussed and acknowledged within the story, but fundamentally the universe is always going to involve billionaire vigilantism and child soldiers and the so-called carceral justice system. that's just the price of admission if you're gonna read Batman.

and like. I spend a lot of time in that world. I love Batman, I love his child soldiers. he's my little blorbo or whatever. but like, at no point have I said "yeah, fuck it, preteens should be learning martial arts to fight domestic terrorists, actually. I think Elon Musk SHOULD be allowed to put on a fursuit and beat up criminals. cops need more funding." no amount of Batman comics can make me believe or act on any of those things because, you know, I'm a person with a brain and I know the difference between "thing that makes a good story" and "thing that should actually happen for real."

and the thing is that genuinely, honestly, if someone thought that it was a red flag that I like Batman, and that enjoying Batman comics was somehow a red flag indicating that I'm fine with violence being done against real, actual children? I would think that person was a nut, if I can be super real. like, I'm thinking about somebody trying to make the case that I shouldn't be allowed to hang out with my nephew because I enjoy the fictional character of Robin so clearly I'm going to kill my nephew's parents in front of him to try to get him into vigilante justice. or if someone attempted to bar me from teaching my 4th-6th grade sex ed classes on the grounds that I was obviously going to teach them to do karate to clowns instead of how their reproductive systems worked.

(although, lets be real, there are a lot of politicians who would MUCH rather let little kids cage fight each other than learn anything about safer sex.)

this doesn't just apply to morally bad things, either, btw. I also read a lot of romance novels, especially hetero romances. and the thing is, not one of those books has made me want to fall in love with a ruggedly handsome but condescending straight man. hell, none of them have made me want to fall in love with anybody, period. that's not really something I'm interested in for myself, it's just a fun and frequently funny dynamic to explore. I'm hardly the first queer person to point out that the allegations that queer media "turns kids gay/trans" is obviously bullshit since the vertible mountain of cishet media evidently failed to turn any of us straight/cis, you know?

my point being: no, I genuinely don't think it's often, if ever, reasonable to judge someone's actual, real life morals by how they interact with fiction.

I'm going to say something so vulnerable right now, because we're in a safe space here: since you asked me this very reasonable question, you evidently value my judgment and perspective at least a little bit. and I once read and thoroughly enjoyed a fic in which Dr. Horrible, from Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, gets fucked by a sapient evil horse. and I don't think that makes me a morally reprehensible person, or a person who advocates for real human beings having real sex with real horses. I think it just makes me kind of a weirdo with a bullshit tolerance.

if you want to hear a MUCH more thorough take on this, complete with addressing the issue of shipping fictional children, I cannot recommend Princess Weekes' video essay enough:

[decaydanceredacted]

I think I forgot to mention rape but that should be obvious as well.

Pedophillia, rape (not cnc), zoophillia (not pet play), Incest (not selfcest), and necrophillia are not "kinks" people who fantasize about this stuffy aren't "kinky" they're disgusting freaks. If you're into any of these, please say so because I think people would want to know if whether they're supporting someone disgusting.

If you don't say anything I'm gonna assume that you're being silent to cover up the fact that you support these and I'll report you anyway

awww you think i'm a disgusting freak? 🥺

[jellazticious]

u r full of wisdom . care to share a bit of it? anything, could b art related

rule number one is to not give a shit. Making bad art is better than making no art at all. The time will pass anyway and you will improve if you try

make stuff and post them because you wanna. Don't do it solely for attention, you'll get tired fast cuz it's a soulless motive

Art is a complete illusion, if it looks like a hand, it looks like a hand. if the eye looks weird leave it alone, it's still an eye. You're gonna figure out how to eventually draw stuff without a sketch eventually so have fun with it

"perfect" is a myth, it's not real. Everyone, including you usually ignore any kind of mistake on someone else's art because it's the effort that counts

You can pretend that all ocs without a story is inside a huge apartment building in your mind. Eventually they'll be "hired" and put into an existing story or you'd make one for them. Don't rush it tho, it's okay to have ocs dormant

multishipping and fluctuating headcanons is good enrichment

Making up names is hella stupid, anything can be a name and no one will think twice about it so go ham. This goes for fictional characters or yourself

Treat your oc sets like it's an existing fandom, make so much fake posters, screenshots, lore dump, character renders etc

opening a window or sitting by a porch is a good "touching grass" thing to do. You don't need to go fully out, just get a bit of nature/reality for a moment

on the same note, you can lie down the floor and do nothing for a moment. Just like Napstablook

if it has nothing to do with harming you then don't get involved. Don't be stupid and "roast" a troll/terf in the comments. Report and block is the way to go, you don't need to douse yourself in hate

Also do not spread an unnecessary amount of negativity. No one wants to hear that you don't like a character in the character's tag, or a ship, or an oc, or a headcanon. You can dislike/hate it in private with someone else who dont like em too but for the love of fuck do NOT do express it in public even in anon

learn the difference between "not my preference" and "problematic" you can dislike a character or a HARMLESS ship or anything solely just cuz. No need to convince people to dislike it too if it's nothing horrible

[meraki-sunset]

DONT EVEN FUCKING TELL ME WHAT TO FUCKING DO BTW SINCE ITS JUST MY GODDAMN OPINION ANYWAY AND THAT THERES NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO CHANGE THAT BECAUSE OF HOW FUCKING USELESS YOU ARE ABD HOW YOU DONT KNOW THE STORY ANY BETTER COMPARED AND HOW FUCKING MUCH OF A COLD HEARTLESS BITCH YOU ARE TOWARDS CHARACTERS WHO HAVE FEELINGS TOO

I’ll humor you for a second and last time, before I disable the anon messages.

You’re entitled to your own opinion. Like I said before, you can love Homestuck and detest my AU, you’re in your right to do so, just like I’m in my right to not like certain bits of Homestuck and make an AU for fun. I don't intent to change your opinion. People having a different opinion than you, it’s not an attack on your person or opinions, relax.

In your multiple messages that I will not display here, you say that I hate you, hate the creators of homestuck2, hate the original comic, hate myself, hate the characters, among other things.

I do not. I was really sad to learn the homestuck2 team was being harassed by people who were unable to separate life from fiction and not see they were harming real people over fictional characters. I do not hate you, or the characters, or anything or anyone you so fiercely say I do. But you seem to be doing the same thing that was done to the writers of homestuck2, attack real people over fiction.

You hating things with a passion, doesn’t mean others do too, you see red and determine everyone do so. I’m not here to fight, I'm not your enemy, I do not hate you, I have better things to do.

You expresed in very angry caps that i’m being hearthless towards characters who have feelings too. Characters don’t have feelings, they’re not real. The people who write them have feelings, and they express them through the characters. The people who read the stories have feelings and connect to the characters because of it. The characters are a bridge between creator and reader. The feelings we experience when reading are real, but the characters are not.

I’m telling you this with honesty. No irony, jokes or ill intent. There’s more to life than fiction. I believe you might be out of touch with reality to send so many messages to a stranger defending your favorite story from her AU comic that has absolutely no impact on the original source or on you.

Go outside, have an ice cream, don’t be mean to others, take care.

[consistentsquash]

Author Love Letter - Scarlet

Folks, definitely chime in you want to add stuff because a lot of folks have probably met Scarlet in different contexts!

Also it's like 4am here so my spag and everything is going to be pretty bad. Sorry about that.

Scarlet, @givereadersahug on Tumblr and emeraldlove on AO3. Powerhouse of a human, brilliant multiship and multifandom writer, moderator, fest runner, community builder, absolute role model. 0% drama, 100% love. People first always. The Queen of giving without expectation.

We were like talking about having a Rec Fest sometime back in March 2023. Of course I was 100% talk 0% action. But Scarlet actually got a lot of great folks involved, started the fest, got comods to help out and literally just made it happen. That's a good TLDR intro: Make Things Happen Behind the Scenes. Like an iphone or something. Scarlet behind the scenes = it was going to work 100% without problems.

When I think about Snarry fandom, like any big and old fandom we have different folks with different strengths/contributions. Great writers, artists, podficcers, organizers. But it's pretty hard to find somebody whose first priority is making the fandom thrive because we are fans/fan creators, pretty attached to the stuff we are doing, we have time limits because fandom is a hobby and we have to prioritize between creating and community building a lot of times. Scarlet really said Community First, People First. I don't even know how to explain it but 0% transactional vibes.

Making space for people. Meeting folks where they are at. Obviously introverts have a hard time in communities sometimes. Some folks learn how to handle it. No judgment here because these experiences can be subjective. But I have seen Scarlet go the extra mile for folks who are new/introverted/feeling imposter syndrome/going through some complicated fandom experiences. Just being there for them and supporting them to get started.

Also a brilliant writer of darkfic!!! Scarlet's darkfic shorts are some of my all time favs because of how dark/delicious/intense they are. These fics really give me 2000s dirtyhotbadwrong vibes because of how totally out and proud they are about their fiction is not reality vibe. Tons of range and lots of genres but the darkfics get my special love because they are just dirtybadhotwrong shameless amazingness. Check out In His Bed to get a sense for that unique vibe! Her community building and cheerleading wins are huge but also her darkfic writing is some of my all time fav.

Also Queen of Attention to Detail. I have read some fests with her and she guessed authors just like that during anon phase. Just incredible observation Sherlock Holmes style.

My fav fest memory is doing Snapecase reading with her. She guessed the author for Candles Lit Against the Dark, @perverse-idyll based on the title because she noticed/connected a lot of the flame/shadow imagery in the author's other Snarry fics. I am pretty good about guessing some authors myself because I can identify their style but guessing from the title is advanced superpowers. I can't even!! So extra, Scarlet. So totally extra and I love love love <3

Another fav memory I have is about analyzing fics with her. When HotD was airing eldritcher's Ossuarium was being written episode by episode. It was an insane time. We had a brilliant time analyzing those fics :D We were both passionate but Scarlet was so extra passionate, noticed tons of detail that was totally lost on me, really good at connecting the dots, just a hardcore close reader.

Also dead dove fics! 100% supporter of folks writing dead dove, incest, darkfics.

Also reccing older fics! Her Dudley phase was insane and she was finding fics from like 2000s on wayback just like that with some superhuman skills. On like websites I didn't even know existed. Really Sherlock Holmes <3

Also smaller fests. Scarlet supported a ton of Dreamwidth fests and got new folks to join them/introduced them to Dreamwidth culture and literally was the bridge between different types of fandom culture a lot of times.

Also reccing fic! Her recs for For I Have Found Salvation by @lumosatnight and also for @wilfriede's podfics have so much love/passion/enthusiasm and I just love those works 2x because of the emotional connect of her reccing <3

Also nwhiker! I really got into this author's Snack fic, Second Life because of Scarlet's passionate, passionate reccing. When Scarlet got into something the reccing happened with big big love and for me that was like the best thing ever because folks who love things with big love are just super special <3

Also my concrit buddy for movies. Ingmar Bergman to Audrey Hepburn to Past Lives just a total knowledge wikipedia about movies/movie making/movie meta/movie crit. I really changed my perspective about movies after learning from her. Also shows! Watching HotD and doing episode reviews with Scarlet is like one of my best memories ever ever ever <3 Also books!

Also moderator of Snarry discords like @houseofsnarry, participated, started and ran a ton of communities and fests including the @hprecfest which is just finishing this week <3 <3

If I have to describe Scarlet in like one word I am going to say Connection. 100% about connection, 100% heart led. So special. Love, love, love.

pic source Los Angeles Street Art photography by bigcitiesbrightlights

[yuikomorii]

I saw a lot of people say that Yui is their comfort character and I don't think it's a bad thing. Because Yui's situation and her hardworking make them feel more courage irl. Although they never told Yui is perfect. They said Yui is perfect for us because let's be honest nobody is perfect. Telling someone is far from perfect is wrong because you never can find a perfect person as an example so you can't compare this way.

But still considering Yui as their comfort character shouldn't make them upset just because she is not perfect. As I said nobody is perfect.

// Since Christmas is coming soon, I hope Santa brings you a ✨reading comprehension✨ because there’s NO WAY a person only grasped that part out of a post about not attacking people who have different opinions. Or wait a little… are you perhaps feeling called out? Next time, I would love to hear your opinion but non-Anon, please! :>

Let me give you a reality check, Anon; you, me and most people are far from perfection because we’re just average human beings. Perfection means only having good qualities and characteristics, without any defects. That's unachievable, but you don't have to be flawless since the mix between your imperfections and qualities makes you who you are— a unique person.

Yui can be perfect to you, but this still won’t change the fact that she’s not perfect and if people will be upset over not considering a FICTIONAL CHARACTER like that too, then I would suggest them spending less time on Tumblr and more with a therapist.

Plus, Yui wouldn’t like you to consider her perfect because she learned her lesson in MB about accepting people with their faults. She only wants to be seen as an equal, not worshipped. How can a character be your comfort one if you don’t even know that character’s personality? 😭😭

[cillixn]

It's funny how many here say that their marriage is none of our business, but they are here, writing smut and p0rn fanfics for 'cillian x female reader' as if he wasn't married. You imagine the whole hot scene, write it and publish it, many people consume it, and now you are defending Yvonne as if you were their friend? you are idiots too! Just as he would hate to read the anon's comment about Yvonne not supporting him, he would be disgusted to read these fanfics full of "you're so good for me, babygirl"

first of all, let me offer you my congratulations for not reading cillian fanfic. you’re soooo much better than all of us and i bet everyone wants to be your friend.

secondly, honey… darling… sweetums… surely you can distinguish reality from fantasy, can’t you? you know that there is a difference between writing/consuming a fictional story about a fictionalized version of someone and assholes making very real malicious and uncalled for comments about someone’s wife… right? there is no comparison between the two.

but the people speaking up and calling out the troglodytes that make wild baseless assumptions about their marriage (which is none of our business, i didn’t realize that was a controversial statement) and call her ugly are the weird parasocial ones, right? they’re clearly only doing it for brownie points and not because they genuinely don’t like to see petty, jealous children pick on someone for no reason, yeah?

hmm.. might i suggest you read cillian’s book on empathy? it seems like you could learn a few things.

[olderthannetfic]

"you cant think that we live in a rape culture, that it is wrong and we should fight against it and also think its ok to fantasize about raping someone" - oh brother someone shoot me. A person a followed for while now just went off about how "some kinks aren't ok" and "theres a world of difference between someone who thinks armpits are hot and someone who is a rape, pedophile, or incest fetishist." Like whats so hard to understand that a) you don't have a right to know about peoples private sex lives, and as long the sex is consensual (and actually consensual and not coerced in anyway) who cares it doesn't effect you.(oh and if justs you masturbating and theres no real people involved its literally always consensual cause its literally just you) And also b) liking something in fiction is not the same as liking it in real life, rape fantasies are ridiculously common and there's no evidence that they symptoms of a person wanting to be rapist or that they generate future rapist. You want fight rape culture, fight against the idea that men are owed/deserve sex not that I find it hot when a fake person is molested or is in a position where they cant say no. Do antis not understand that you can like something because its fake not just in-spite of it being fake. Like I've been in real life shit situations and shockingly it didn't make me horny just scared. Actually my kinks are very much tied my social anxieties, a fear of mine is what I'd do if someone wants to have sex me or worse thinks I want to have sex with them and I don't really want it. also I know that in fight, flight or freeze shit I definitly freeze. Anxious me just sits there in a panic and if I was ina situatin where someone was inapropiate theres a good chance I would have no idea what to do and Id just stop and then be to embarrassed to saying anything about it. And in fact after learning all this about my self I am more confident about saying no and setting boundaries and yet abusive power dynamics still turning me on. well fake ones. When I hear about a teacher taking advantage of a student or sexual harrassment at a work place I have very different feelings about it becuase it is real and horrible and not fucking porn! Shocking if todoroki inkhearted into reality I wouldn't jump his bones, - this anon got really long but I didn't realize how annoyed I was until I started typing lol sorry about that

--

"Wah wah, rape fantasies bad" is just about the most common stupidass opinion amongst the kink haters. Definitely blockworthy.

[chaisshitposts]

hiii chai, do u know about shifting? if so are u a shifter yourself and are you going to shift to some were?

- 🎀 anon

hi there 🎀 anon!!! uhhhhh okay, so— how do I say this... 🕵️ I personally feel as though the whole concept around 'shifting' has been misconstrued. what folks often don't learn when entering the shifting community is that we're constantly 'shifting' with every decision we make (no matter how 'small' or 'big' of a decision it is) and so we're all shifting masters, as well as masters at manifestation by default.

seeing as though there are infinite realities— hm.. actually, here's an example

so let's say... Ya woke up this morning as usual, do your daily routine or whatever, and then you have this choice of what to eat for breakfast. Pancakes or waffles or french toast? Ya might have chosen waffles, but a different version of you had pancakes, another version of you had french toast, another version of you deadass decided to just stay in bed until the afternoon, and then another was like fuck it I don't wanna eat breakfast I want some damn brunch, so on and so forth.

for a lack of a better term, your 'soul' is shifting between these varying realities, and in these realities everything else appears to be the same EXCEPT for the results that came from our decision-making. same goes with revising memories and things that happened, stuff like that.

soooooo to answer yer question to the scale that you're probably wonderin'— yeaH I totally am into shifting, especially to some of my favorite fictional places and I plan on shifting to said places at some point in time bUt I do have my worries about building new lives and all that junk, as well as what kind of time frame I would use to distinguish between universes like--- a day in my CR equals to a year in my DR or whatever— the idea of being isekai'd low-key makes my brain hurt ngl 🕵️ but I am curious and will remain curious until the end of time. The first place I reeeeeaaaaaaaalllllllllllyyyyy wanna shift to is between the KNY universe or MHA universe, but I'm like... how TF do people balance between the differing lives??????? lIKE bruh all the relationships and attachments would make my heart and brain hurt 😭

[shsl-fujoshi]

You people are so fucking embarrassing.

Anon, are these people who "constantly talk about how they would like to fuck kid characters" in the room with us now??

Do you think that people who watch fetish content of rape want to genuinely be raped?

Do you think people who watch horror movies want to murder or be murdered?

Grow the fuck up and learn the difference between a fantasy and reality.

Grow the fuck up and learn the difference between a fantasy and a *desire* even.

"Ewwwww! I'm scared of these people because I think liking something in fiction means you're an evil criminal!"

Give me a fucking break.

[fandomfluffandfuck]

Hi S! I’ve been wondering. I know some (gay/bi/…) men hate it when women write m|m. And well as a woman. I love to read and write m|m. I find it way more intriguing than m|w or w|w. (I don’t even know why.) I mean, I love Stucky and Evanstan and I’ve been writing my own OCs story (without smut, cos I can’t know how it feels to be hard and shit like that, and heterosexualisation)

Anyway so this got me thinking about how you might feel about this. Because I don’t want to hurt people and your opinion kinda matters to me. I look up to you even though I think we’re the same age.

Bye and thx 💙❤️

Hey, sweets!

First, I have to stay, I can completely relate to this. I've had--few and far between, but still, it's happened--people ask/request me to write smut with genderbent stucky with Steve and Bucky both as women. And, yeah, I always have hesitations about it. So, I've never actually done it, lmao. I, personally, always feel weird about it because of the history of men (usually straight men, but, I'm clearly not that 💀 so we'll go with men who are attracted to women exclusively or otherwise) fetishizing lesbians.

Realistically, going outside and touching grass, I'm of the opinion that this is fiction. We're writing fictional stories. It doesn't bleed into my real life. I understand the difference between fantasy and reality, and I try to assert that on my blog. So, in theory, it is harmless. But, funnily enough, just like you, I also don't feel qualified to make that judgment. I always try to mark my fics appropriately--whether it's me, as a man, writing about women or it's me writing about a subject I am not an expert in like history, specific careers or jobs, legal issues, exact timelines of canon, etc., etc.-- that way, appropriate readers will continue if it doesn't bother them, and other readers will move on if it does. Of course, there will always be people who ignore those tags or are outraged by it existing to begin with and... there's no pleasing those people. So. They don't bother me. The tags are there. The warnings are present. So, it's their responsibility as a reader to act appropriately from then on. I can't do it for them.

Anyway, my ramblings aside--

It doesn't bother me when straight, cis women write mlm fanfiction! It doesn't bother me when women write mlm fanfiction at all.

Obviously, there would (and probably will) be outliers in women who have unchecked homophobia/transphobia/general queerphobia that is expressed through their writing but... I have yet to come across that. So, I don't really care.

Think of it, like, I don't have a problem when straight, cis women talk to or about gay/bi/queer men. It only crosses a line for me when those women start to think they know better about the the queer community and talk over queer men. (And the fact that you're concerned about it being strange points toward you not being like that. Not crossing that line.) Or, because I like to explain everything to death, think of it like like acting. I am of the opinion that I don't need every queer character to be played by a queer actor--what I want is fair representation and job opportunities for queer actors in Hollywood across the board, not necessarily the ability for only them to own those roles. Some straight and cis actors might not have the range or ability to play a queer character, and so they don't. However, straight and cis actors exist that can portray queer characters in vibrancy and outside of harmful contexts. What makes those actors good? Their ability to learn and understand queer people as people. Clearly, you, anon, want to learn and understand. That's good!

Fetishizing, I obviously understand, can be some people's fear but with fanfiction... again, it's fantasy.

(That, and, my understanding, is that mlm ships are more common because of men often being written more in-depth and more readily available in media within the patriarchal society we have constructed and because it can be refreshing to completely take yourself out of fantasy and pleasure and that sort of thing when it is so taboo in our society (especially women's pleasure). Which, mlm relationships provide more so than mlw or wlw. So, I can understand the appeal!)

I will say there's a layer to my answer, too, of how much a lot of fandon spaces can feel like women's spaces to me. Obviously, it's not all women, and I know that well. There are lots of nonbinary people and men around here! Though, fandom has been something that has, from my knowledge, been dominated by women historically. And while I love seeing more diversity in fandom as people of all types embrace and love the art that speaks to them with wild passion, I still see a lot, lot of women. So, I don't feel like it's my place as a man to police the space and say what belongs or doesn't belong, y'know? I'm just here enjoying my time. And with all the incredible fanfiction that's out there that has been written about mlm ships by straight women, cis or trans, I wouldn't want to change that.

So, TLDR; I don't mind when women write about queer men, whether they themselves are straight or not. Obviously, there are limits to that, and harm can be done when straight women try to speak over queer men (queer people generally, too), but it seems like with your concern for the topic you'll do just fine. So, go out there and write!

P.S. thinking about sensations in smut... you might be interested in these two drabbles I've written 👀

[kinktober2023]

The anon who originally sent you an ask about loli/Shota came at it perfectly respectfully and literally only spoke of it in terms of legaity. If you think that information is incorrect, say that? Coming back with the patronizing "we can differentiate fiction vs reality" talk is so defensive and uncalled for? Why on earth would you talk to a stranger like that? Like coming from someone who likes and writes noncon and gore I get it bc people can be really weird and aggressive. But come on??? I'm personally still excited for your prompt list, but yk.

No, they said that fandom waters down meanings and that I should be aware lolisho is (insert VERY disrespectful term for csem here). The legality issue came up but calling it literal csem is NOT something I'm ever ever EVER going to respond politely to.

They absolutely one hundred percent said that lolisho was equivalent to that sort of content. If me telling them to learn the difference between fiction and reality is rude I actually, full stop, do not care. They weren't coming from a place of good faith, I don't have to give someone giving false accusations the benefit of the doubt.

If someone is passive aggressive, they get passive aggression or outright aggression in return. If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen, and if you're uneducated, it's not my job to hold your hand and explain it.

Not to mention, more often than not, those types of questions are bait to get people to send long responses defending themselves, just so the people who disagree can have a field day trying to pick it apart. It's just not worth it when they aren't going to listen. They believe what they believe.

Also, respectfully, you don't see the inside of our ask box or the other messages that same anon sent after I had ignored the original message.

[the-bjd-community-confess]

TW: Sexualization of (fictional) minors discussion/CSA mentions

Mod: Batch post 2 to help people avoid the topic if needed.

1. Idc, people who don’t dress and photograph YOSDs like children are creepy af. If you’re dressing your YOSD in lingerie that’s weird as hell and gross.

~Anonymous

2. "child sex sells" what the fuck is wrong with you? shut the fuck up. touch grass. see light. no the hell it does not. can you be fucking normal for five goddamn minutes? god just delete tumblr and get the fuck away from this and all other hobbies you are the worst sort of human being and i hope you get the help you desperately need because you are seeing child abuse in everything and that, i promise you, is a freakass problem to have. why are you like this???

~Anonymous

3. did NOT want to read the vomitous take of "ch*ld s*x sells" on the doll blog today!!!

~Anonymous

4. fandoms full of """child abuse"""

hi mod it's me again, i'm sorry in advance but this fucking topic makes me actually furious and as long as the most sheltered infants on earth continue to submit brain-dead takes on this subject, i'm going to keep showing up in your dms. CW for discussion of actual abuse, hard subjects in general, etc.

(i would put the read more here) [Mod: I hope you don't mind this format instead Anon, this confession deserves its own post but I want to shield readers from the topic if possible with the batchposting 💜]

ok but that's just it, as a fucking csa survivor, most of the "fandoms full of CSA" literally! have none of that! whatsoever! in any capacity! you shitty godforsaken little heathens call sfw romance between two fictional teenagers in a tv show incest-coded, you call grown ass-adults in animated works "child-coded" and justify that as the same as goddamn ABUSE OF REAL LIFE HUMAN BEINGS, and you doxx creators and send them death threats and clog up report lines for real life actual human victims about your fictional bullshit. you are the worst and i want you and anyone who reads this and feels offended by this description to know that you are helping no one and annoying everyone.

do you know what real victims are victimized by? not fiction. not any fiction. not inanimate objects! literally write a story about fictional children being victimized for the plot, and it will not hurt me. if it hurts you, fair! stop reading it. go outside. your Personal Discomfort is not you being abused. learn the fucking difference perhaps! it will not make me... do you have any idea how hard it is to talk about this without getting so extremely goddamn personal? do you have any idea how much it sucks to have to have this discussion over and over and over? do you realize that roughly 10 years ago everyone with a braincell agreed on this point and it's only the last decade that people have been so radicalized to think that wrongthink is real? no, of course not, because most of the people who believe that fiction and reality are 1:1 in how one affects the other have no practical experience with any of the subjects upon which they have the audacity to speak.

listen. i am not going to go into my upbringing. i am not going to tell you what it was like to be raised in a household like mine where actual abuse was genuinely normalized. all i will say is that i was raised in a culture where this sort of abuse was normal and certain types of relationships between adults and minors were considered... sanctioned by the powers that be. are you picking up what i'm laying down? do not talk to me about your good intentions. the fucking argument that fictional content, drawings and toys and all that other inconsequential shit, that it's tantamount to a crime? buddy. bestie! amigo! compadre! that's the same logic that was used to make sure my upbringing was as sheltered and controlled as possible so that the "corrupting influences" of the outside world didn't give us the "wrong ideas". like i truly don't know how you did it but you've reinvented the toxic mindset i grew up hearing! and you are completely blind to it. boggles my fucking brain.

i just want to shake the people who say this shit with a straight face. "wow so violent op maybe you're the toxic one" yeah boy i'm toxic i've been in therapy for most of my life and will continue to be until i am dead. the fucking DRAWING CARTOON PORN IS INDOCTRINATING MINORS WRITING StORIES WHERE BAD THINGS HAPPEN IS THE SAME AS HARMING A REAL HUMAN crowd are just the same religious wrongthink crowd with a more recent birth-year and a rainbow hat. "anyone can say anything online i don't believe you" cool i don't give a shit. how do you want me to prove it, doxxing myself? you wanna see the fucking recordings anon? think before you speak. first time for everything.

i like this hobby. i enjoy my dumb little dolls and their stupid little faces, i enjoy the peace in changing their style and redoing their faceups, i enjoy being able to represent a diversity of appearances, identities, to make everyone queer and slutty because i'm making up for the lost time in my life where that was not on the table for me. i do Not fucking relish seeing the braindead anti arguments creeping into this hobby and shitting up another thing that myself and other survivors would like to enjoy in peace and quiet.

so let me tell you, from the bottom of my heart, even though no one who needs to hear it will bother to listen to the words of a survivor because it goes against your superiority complex against those nasty fiction enjoyers:

shut the fuck up.

sincerely, god, everyone, and especially survivors of CSA and other abuse against minors.

~Anonymous

[council-of-beetroot]

Maybe it's out of your area of focus, but there's some interesting fanon that parallels Eastern Europe (east of the Iron curtain at least) under Soviet influence with Latin America under US influence.

Latin America isn't canon in Hetalia yet, but they argue that America would be as big of a dick as Russia when it comes to Cold War interactions. What do you think about this?

Forgive me anon I spent an hour typing this out then today woke up in a daze having little recollection of the night before and soon realizing I never posted this.

You're actually in luck because I have a small amount of background knowledge around Latin America during the cold war. I speak Spanish so one of the ways I would practice was reading a lot of historical fiction and non fiction and my teachers also taught a good amount of this in class.

Now my base knowledge is eastern Europe so learning about these parallels between both the US and the USSR in this era was quite interesting. Coming from an Eastern European perspective, the US is seen to this day as the better of the two, which is understandable given our history. Now it's interesting because I find that in Latin America or the Global south as a whole, Russia/ The USSR tends to be viewed in a softer light. I've noticed this in Hetalia depictions as well.

I think this all comes back to believing the grass is greener on the other side when in reality both sides weren't doing too hot. For me it became apparent that stories like those talking about los desaparecidos feel similar to those told in areas near Augustów.

Now I do advise against viewing both powers as identical. Just because the US for example isn't perfect, doesn't mean the glorious communist revolution will solve all of your problems

Now as for Alfred and Ivan there's a lot of similarities between them during this period. Both have a certain naïveté to their mindsets. They both believe what they are doing is justified. However Ivan tends to view his actions in a mindset of utopia justifies the means, while Alfred acts because he believes what he's doing is right. Both believe that there is no middle ground it's one or the other.

Now their refusal to see shades of grey makes them frustrating to deal with if you're any nation caught in their sphere of influence.

Even before Hetalia I kind of jokingly would say that basically the cold war can be summed up to be akin to two girls arguing over who has more friends and who has more stuff and making it everyone's problem in the fifth grade. Basically if you're acquainted with one you better not hang out with their rival.

Now this gets annoying fast when these two are calling the shots, failing to see how they are impacting everyone around them.

Both use delusions of greatness to cope with the failures of their systems.

This is basically how it's described in any us highschool history class. Now freedom seems hypocritical when segregation was a thing and when there's lots of barriers in place when many try to exercise those freedoms. Additionally meddling in democratic elections in foreign countries feels undemocratic.

Highlighting democracy as a key difference feels a bit odd if you are Martín and expressing dissent will ensure your family will never be seen again.

Also how free are you to have an opinion when say you disagree with Alfred it means you are in favour of Ivan. To this day if someone says healthcare reforms there are people that say we can't do that that's communist.

Now Alfred's way of doing things is unstable while Ivan what you forfeit in freedoms you get hypothetically in equality and security. Your house rent is going to remain the same, your job is going to remain the same. Now just like the hypocrisy of Alfred Ivan is full of hypocrisy as things are never truly equal, strange how the government employees have access to way more than you, and somehow despite being equal your culture is discouraged.

Now for the question do I think Alfred is more of a dick eh not really. I think both Alfred and Ivan have a lot of power and they view that power like kids in a sandbox. Do I think they aren't dicks? Eh no, not really

[undead-discourse]

In response to the last anon: I would end a friendship "over fiction."

It isn't just about finding some dark content interesting or compelling to me. It's about the way some people handle it and think about some subjects. I've seen the posts some of you people make about your pedophilic ships, and the difference between "I think exploring this theme would be interesting or could tell an interesting narrative" versus "I think pedo ships are hot" is VERY obvious. Hell, you posted someone's ask a while ago blatantly admitting this. Some people just think it's hot, and I would never keep someone like that in my life.

That's why it bothers me so much when proshippers call antis hypocrites for enjoying dark fiction. I myself really enjoy some "problematic" fandoms, but there is nothing about characters obviously meant to be children that I find attractive, and there is zero reason that you should either. Even if it's fiction, some of you are attracted to these things because it's pedophilic and no other reason.

Obviously fiction and reality are different. Obviously real CSEM can never be compared to drawn porn of underage characters. Obviously everyone who enjoys content with pedophilic relationships included are pedophiles themselves. But that doesn't change the fact some of you find attributes of children sexy, even if they're on a drawing and not a real child. It is fiction, but it is incredibly telling to me.

I am not and I never will be friends with people who find this shit "hot." I don't care the reasoning, I don't care what kind of excuses you have. If I learned one of my friends was like this, they would not be my friend anymore, fiction or not.

.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote:

Hello mbti-notes and thank you for having this blog. INTP here (probably). Sorry if this post is unstructured. I'm writing this in middle of what I think of as Fe-grip (anxiety/depression) as my problem is related to that.

If you aren't certain about your type, do a proper type assessment. I won't comment on function development otherwise. At the end of your message, you ask whether your thinking is "rational". This is a concerning question since INTPs should automatically understand what it means to be rational and how to determine it.

My aux Ne is trying to remind me of lots of future worst case scenarios, to the point that I experience anxiety, depression and hopelessness.

These "future worst case scenarios" you speak of are fiction. It is your imagination, so why do you treat them as real? Are you being rational when you can't tell the difference between what happens inside your mind and external reality?

And my Si (combined with Ti) tries to find out other people's experiences (online) and facts to support them. And then my Fe makes me regretful, anxious and depressed.

I don't really understand, why should other people's experience have any bearing on you? Are you not an individual with your own path and your own life to live? Are you being rational when you conflate their experience with yours?

I have written to you before. To cut the long story short, I made wrong choices and also trusted my family in some cases in my late teens and 20s, which caused me to waste all those years and my youth with it.

What do you mean by "waste"? Aren't all of your experiences a part of you and important for making you who you are? Acceptance of your past is an important aspect of self-acceptance. Are you being rational when you seek the impossible, such as wanting only positive experiences and never any negative things in life?

Then in my late 20s, I found my path and decided to fix my life. The problem is, despite trying to improve my life (in order to find a career and also reach my other goals), I feel behind in life. I know I can't make my life as good as the wise version of my teen or YA self, or a person that starts this process in their early 20s.

What do you mean by "fell behind"? By what standards? Society's standards? What is this "wise version of my teen or YA self" you speak of? Wisdom can only come through learning from extensive life experience, so teens, by definition, aren't wise. It may sound insulting but it's a fact of brain maturation. Your perception of the past seems distorted, so your comparisons are nonsensical. Are you being rational when you adopt arbitrary beliefs about "success"?

I'm also really terrified of ageism and aging. To the point that I get a panic attack everytime I see small signs of aging in myself. I've heard people are more respected and desired from 18 to 30. I was always indifferent towards those things and didn't care about being desired by other people, but lately things have changed and I'm starting to get terrified of myself, my age, my body and my future.

People age and die; these are facts of life. Are you being rational when you spend all your energy refusing to accept the facts of life, rather than taking action to make the most of your limited time?

I can't get over my lost youth. I studied something my family wanted and even graduated, but couldn't find a career with it where I live. And I spent most of my 20s in isolation. I refused to date, refused to make friends didn't experience life much and didn't reach my goals (professional, gender-related and immigration related).

You refused to date, refused to make friends, and refused to live a full life? In other words, you are now facing the consequences of your decisions. Negative consequences exist to teach you the error of your ways, such that you can CHANGE and evolve throughout life. Are you being rational by getting angry at logical consequences, rather than learning from them, making different decisions, and getting better outcomes?

These days, I'm either numb or experiencing Fe overload (panic attack, anxiety and depression and some worse things). To the point that I'm afraid of myself. I can't trust psychiatrists as I live in a conservative place and don't know if I can explain EVERYTHING to them.

I sympathize that it's difficult for you to get professional help where you are, but this doesn't mean it's an impossibility. With the internet, you have access to people all over the world. Perhaps you need to learn how to use your imagination for good and explore more possibilities for getting the help you need. If you are deep in Si loop, it means you talk yourself out of good opportunities or convince yourself there are no good opportunities, because you don't want to risk feeling disappointed or hurt again. If that's the case, are you being rational when you'd prefer being stuck in pain to moving forward in life?

And I can't trust my family either. I have tried to find solutions online. It says you have to accept aging or hide it, but I can't do either of them. Nothing has been able to help me. I still regret losing my 20s/youth, not being able to be myself, starting late, etc. To the point that I can't be hopeful about my future. I'm also angry with my society/cntry for being conservative and irrational, for making me stay closeted, forcing me to be covered and wear things that don't define "me" in public, and not being able to deal with a person like me. Plus other issues. I'm also disappointed with my family, for being ashamed of me, forcing me to dress up and hide/change myself, not seeing my struggles and not researching. And most of them are high Si or Se users, so when they see me depressed, they either gaslight/shame me for it, or buy me food or want to take me out, which actually makes me guilty and more depressed.

I have written many times about the pointlessness of blame. It is a distraction. It is a way to deflect responsibility. It is a way to wallow in self-pity by always taking the position of the helpless victim. By your own admission, over and over again, you kept allowing yourself to be swayed by mere opinion. And now you blame all those things rather than facing up to the facts. Without being in touch with the facts, on what basis can you make good decisions? Are you being rational when you continually refuse to face facts?

Yes I know, the most logical thing here is to focus on my goals and studies. And I'm trying my best. But those fears and regrets are always on the back of my head (sometimes even worse) causing me anxiety attacks.

You seem to have a habit of constantly fighting against your feelings and emotions - has it worked for you? Or have they only gotten worse the more you resist and battle them? When a strategy doesn't work, is it rational to keep repeating it?

This is an issue of poor emotional intelligence and another example of being unwilling to face facts, in this case, the facts of your psychology. Please consult past posts about how to improve your emotional intelligence. Are you being rational when your decision-making process has been hijacked by runaway negative emotions?

I mean, my youth got wasted, and from now on, I'm probably going to experience age discrimination and ageism in many areas of life (professional, dating, clubs, etc), even if I reach my other goals and immigrate to a better place.

Do you know why you suffer fear of ageism? Because you have chosen to use age to define your worth. You have internalized the destructive ageist standards of the most shallow members of your society. You blame others for their faults, but you have chosen to be just like them, haven't you?

At some point, you have to grow up, which means making a difficult decision: Are you going to be your own person and live life as you need to, guided by your own carefully considered beliefs and values? Or are you going to keep subjecting yourself to the standards of others and constantly suffer on a roller coaster of their dis/approvals?

You can't have it both ways; you can't keep seeking the highs of validation without also experiencing the lows of invalidation. As long as you keep using this shallow system of evaluating your self-worth, you'll suffer. Pain is unavoidable in life, but suffering is a choice. Is it rational to keep choosing suffering?

My question is, 1) Am I making a rational judgement here?

I'm hard-pressed to find any rational judgment above. It is rational and healthy to feel bad about bad circumstances. You ought to seek comfort for getting through difficult times and support/assistance for changing what you can about negative situations. But it isn't healthy or rational to indulge judgmentalness, throw around blame, dwell in negativity, and/or obsess about things you don't have the power to change; these activities are an empty comfort that not only hold you back in life but keep you stuck in pain and suffering.

2) Is there a way to permanently get out of Fe grip without being later triggered by Si viewpoints?

Yes, it is through properly developing Ti and Ne. If you really don't want to correct your flawed judgment and open your mind to alternative ways of thinking and solving problems, then perhaps you do need to reconsider whether you are actually INTP.