#legally i must have them be one. augh

[cardboardfeet]

[notasapleasure]

I had this draft for the 8 shows to get to know me meme that no one tagged me in, but then @batri-jopa tagged me for this other meme, so I'm doiing them as a mash-up.

10 comfort shows -

- that tell you more than you wanted to know about me. reasons below the cut, but the tl;dr is:

The Terror

Garrow's Law

Ripper Street

The X Files

Utopia

Interview with the Vampire

(BBC) Ghosts

Futurama

Avatar: the Last Airbender

Detectorists

Honourable mentions: Andor (will probably make the list once season 2 is out, but my trust of Disney Star Wars is *so* thin, I can't commit until then, no matter how excellent season 1 is); The Great (it's so good. The script is still one of the most astonishing works of art I have ever encountered. But comfort TV? hell no.); see also, Bojack Horseman (objectively great. Not comfort TV); Grease Monkeys (I've got to get hold of season 2, but I'm really fond of its coarseness, wish-fulfilment and sureallism).

Tagging 10 people if they wanna join in, but others feel free to say I tagged you! @stripedroseandsketchpads, @notfromcold, @notabuddhist, @donnaimmaculata, @erinaceina, @boogerwookiesugarcookie, @elwenyere, @kheldara, @bellaroles, @jimtheviking

List 10 comfort shows and then tag 10 people

The Terror: Like Ripper Street below, I feel this show deep in my bones and think I must be actually insane when I try to explain to people what I like about it (watching it literally made my husband's depression worse so I'm not allowed to talk about it. Jk. Sort of. About the last bit anyway). The sheer ridiculousness of that era of exploration has been a firm fave for years and I love how the show weaves horror and hubris together, how it's not a straightforward 'natives get vengeance on colonisers' story, but the colonisers ruin it for everyone, poison life for Silna, too (all without any threat of sexual violence towards her CAN YOU BELIEVE IT). I love all the attempts to impose 'civilisation' on the life the men try to live as they come to realise how doomed they are, how key the trappings of their life become - objects as tethers and talismans. I love how utterly futile it all is. How much they all care, and the audience cares despite that. Self-destruction and salvation all jumbled up together. Two full crews go into the ice and die. The end. They do everything they can not to die and it happens anyway, it's the ultimate 'the love was there and it didn't change anything'. And no one learns anything. Perfect TV.

Garrow's Law: Sometimes I do want my historical drama to be wish fulfillment actually, and this is the actual og fave. No, most of the cases weren't actually Garrow's, yes, it's a fluffy liberal take on things that played out in a more complex way, but the cast is so good, and Garrow is such a likeable guy, but then you see his flaws emerge in such a gentle way through the four series, and it really does case-of-the-week with characterisation so well, and it's got that amazing British TV character actor cast where there's always someone in the background you know, and the building romance between Garrow and Sarah, and the real repercussions of it for her are handled so sensitively, augh the culmination of the series with their own personal legal cases is so good.

Ripper Street: in my head this show was so much more than the sum of its parts. Season 1 was on the surface a fun BBC historical romp. Season 2 I had to watch through gritted teeth because Susan's situation quicked me out too much, among other reasons. Season 3 leaned into the more sinister side of the protagonist and came through as something weirder and darker, a vein which ran through Seasons 4 and 5, which I thoroughly enjoyed. I live for my alternative reading of the migration stories and nightmarish flipsides of people that we get running through the background of seasons [3/]4/5, but uh. the show's tumblr fandom is not a place for me. Reid is actually monstrous, and I like him despite/because of that. Oh man, I have so many feelings about this show, and I'd love to do a rewatch and blog about all my crazy theories but I'd probably have to go into witness protection afterwards. But rest assured, it isn't a show about the Ripper, and it's all the better for that. It does class and trauma so well, it also captures all the optimistic curiosity and the utter hypocrisy and hubris of the Victorian era so well.

The X Files: I mean, it's a formative influence, innit. Seasons 1 and 3 are the best, a lot of the 'classic' favourites are episodes I actually really disliked, even though the early seasons are the best a lot of my favourite episodes are from later...the beauty of TXF is that there's so much of it you can hold contradictory opinions about what makes it good, though, and my theory is that it's at its best when it's early and still being allowed to take its course, where even the mytharc hasn't tied itself in knots yet so every episode is of a higher standard, and then later, when the actors have wrested control of their characters from CC enough to play them like they want, but the good episodes are really just MotW ones because the mytharc has vanished up it's own fundament and I've lost track of whose turn it is to have a near-death season arc. Not technically the TV series, but still, Fight the Future is just so much of its time, watching it is like having a warm bubble bath in childhood nostalgia. Even the later series have things to recommend them - I always enjoy Doggett much more than I'm expecting to, and it's about bloody time Scully got a decent female friend in the form of Reyes...I haven't watched seasons 10 onwards though, I don't feel I'm missing much. Five fave episodes: 1.13 Beyond the Sea, 3.4 Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose, 5.4 Detour, 7.17 all things, 6.19 The Unnatural.

Utopia: Tragically incomplete at 2 seasons, but what a pair of seasons they are. Brutal and uncompromising, horrible and compelling, but also frequently hilarious and full of the warmest, most fascinating characters who are all on a journey to Getting Much Worse. It's not something I've been able to watch since the pandemic *weak laugh* but I know when I do go back to it it will remain painfully prescient and uncomfortable. The longing for a 'balancing' and a righting of a historic wrong that drives it, and the desperate failures between people who are really just searching for love and don't know how to give/receive it...ugh so good.

Interview with the Vampire: Just rewatched season 1 and I'm just. No notes, five stars. The way Louis think he's a narrator in control, the way Daniel knows such a thing isn't possible, the way Louis does let himself get drawn on things, the way Armand sees the danger in this but it's not in his control any longer. Memory is a monster. The Odyssey of recollection. Fucking won my heart with those lines alone.

(BBC) Ghosts: Ok, I will say that I think the last season was actually a bit weak. They were in a hurry to finish, and they got away with wringing the feels from the important bits (The Captain's death was perfect and I will say this over and over again), but it felt like it was in a rush to come up with scenarios that would force admissions like The Captain's, whereas the show is at its best meandering around in a buffonish way that suddenly results in a Big Oof moment. Robin's arc in season 4 was a great example of this, as was Mary's. But basically it's still simply perfect comfort TV: silly but not malicious, unfair but kind to its characters. I'm going to miss them all so much, but I'm also going to rewatch so much.

Futurama: bit basic maybe, but I have watched it so often and I can watch any episode (ok, except for Jurassic Bark) again and again and again. I don't think I've binged any TV show so often with so many different people. Not sure how I feel about the immanent revival, but this has always been my favourite Matt Groening product, so fingers crossed.

Avatar: the Last Airbender: without getting into like...fandom discourse, man, this is a really perfect show. No need to say 'ooh it gets good after--!', it's just good from the beginning. A really well fleshed-out world, great characters who grow through the series, enough self awareness that the 'clip-show' episode Ember Island Players actually builds on the characterisation and addresses ambiguities in its own plots. A show that sticks to its principles and doesn't fudge the ending and also consistently looks gorgeous.

Detectorists: I had to put it on because no other show has literally made me fall off my chair laughing. Are the main characters useless? Yes. Is it often perplexing that the women in their lives spend any time with them? Yes. But that's forgiveable, because it's ultimately so kind to its beleagured characters and things work out despite their stupid decisions. Also it just captures rural English eccentricity so well. They're all such freaks (affectionate).

[gaeasun]

I posted 8,404 times in 2022

That's 1,531 more posts than 2021!

726 posts created (9%)

7,678 posts reblogged (91%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@mwolf0epsilon

@its-captain-sir

@willowworkswithwords

@chiafett

@razena88

I tagged 2,839 of my posts in 2022

#twitch my beloved - 218 posts

#gaeasun answers - 114 posts

#g gives a thought - 60 posts

#kenobi spoilers - 59 posts

#incorrect quotes - 53 posts

#clone trooper dogma - 43 posts

#lol - 35 posts

#yes - 30 posts

#oc: croissant - 30 posts

#augh - 28 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i dnt always do tho because its difficult on mobile to ask multiple things and i do not always have the energy to remember whatimgoingtoask

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Rex: Dumbest scar stories, go!

Fives: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.

Tup: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.

Echo: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.

Twitch: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn.

Dogma:

Dogma: I have emotional scars.

149 notes - Posted June 28, 2022

#4

Oh hey heres a random terrible thought

You remember in the brain invaders episode? Where the clones were hunted down by anyone with a worm and forcibly infected?

Some version of that must have happened at 66.

I mean, come on. Not every clone is going to have their comm on, and listening. Somewhere across the galaxy, someone must have been asleep. Someone must have had their comm muted.

All officers were just called to the bridge. And this one clone, he needs to use the refresher. It will just be one minute, so he mutes his comm and breaks off. But when he gets back, everyone is looking at him strange. We have orders, the Commander says. Let me play them for you.

Just after a battle, most clones were sleeping. In the middle of the night their.comms chirp. Priority alert. Some listen, some take a moment to wake up. And watch as their brothers stiffen. Watch as they come closer, comms outstretched. We have our orders, they say. Listen to them. Some figure it out quickly and have a few seconds warning. They run to the door. But their enemy is now their own flesh and blood, and they are everywhere. Those who run are caught, forcibly pinned down as someone sets a comm to their ear.

Incredibly rare are those who physically cannot hear the order. Those who had commanders, medics who cared and who wouldnt give them up. Vode for whom the entire group learned signing. But they dont understand why everyone is acting so stiff. Execute Order 66, someone signs. But it has no meaning. The blaster suddenly pointed at their face does. Traitors will be executed, they read off their commanders lips. Traitor? What-

197 notes - Posted February 10, 2022

#3

Fixit au where the Wrong Jedi arc went differently because at the beginning of the war Rex, Cody, and Wolffe made a groupchat called "Protect the Padawan"

302 notes - Posted November 16, 2022

#2

HC that Fox was the clone who helped Padme after she fell from the ship and because he helped a Senator that's why he was put in charge of Corusant and now he wishes he never even heard of Padme

317 notes - Posted May 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Another thing that kills me in the Tales of the Jedi trailer is how young Anakin looks before time is passed.

Hes what, 21? Hes 21 and hes barely not a teen anymore and hes given a 14 year old kid. In the middle of a war. Being told, hey she's your responsibilty now. Dont get her killed.

And so he pushes her, desperately. Giving her a little more than she can handle every time, but hopefully not enough to get her killed. He trains her relentlessly, again and again, having their own men (who shouldnt be either of theirs) shoot her over and over until she can hold her ground. Dueling with her until shes adept enough to battle a Sith Lord and win before shes old enough to legally be in the army.

Because she is his responsibility. And he loves easily and ferociously and dangerously.

1,174 notes - Posted September 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[medusasstory]

3rd Life Quotes Week 5: The Week Of Retribution

Grian: Are you siding with them now?

Etho: I kinda go wherever the chaos is.

InTheLittleWood: We can make some chaos. 

__

Bdubs: I hate that this has to happen. I hate it. But unfortunately, justice must be served. 

__

Etho: Tango, this isn’t punishment, it’s a mini-game.

__

Grian: Just give him the banner, it’s not worth it. We have banner at home. 

__

Tangotek: Explain to me how I survive this. I’d like to know. Is this a firing squad?

__

Tangotek: Didn’t expect to die today, did you?

Etho: I was really enjoying it when you were dying, but then it turned to me. 

TangoTek: He didn’t tell you he was gonna do that, he just surprised you, didn’t he.

Etho: Noooo.

TangoTek: That was great, that was great.

Etho: I probably could have gotten out of it, but I succumbed to the peer pressure. 

TangoTek: The law is the law, you know. 

__

TangoTek: I love your—all your PvP tactics, it never comes down to just swords with you. You always have a trick. You always have a trick up the sleeve. And that’s what makes you dangerous. 

Etho: You gotta make it fun, you know. 

__

TangoTek: I’ve seen this clock before, what’s it called?”

Etho: It’s a hopper clock.

__

Bdubs: What I need is two good friends and a really good shot. Would you be willing to come and lay down this justice over at the crastle?

__

Impulse: Whoops

Skizzleman: You know what that means? I can go ahead and attack you! And die two minutes later. 

Impulse: Yeah I’m pretty stacked right now. 

__

Etho: I’ve been meaning to talk to you actually.

Skizzleman: What’s up, Buddy?

Etho: Do you need a legal representative? Cause you might need a will.

__

Skizzleman: *throws a flower* Is that valuable to you?

Impulse: It is now, I can go pay respects to Bdubs. 

__

Grian: So i just want to remind you that we’re not the most popular kids in town. Cause we got a triple kill last session. 

__

Grian: I’m not sure if that plan is going to work any more?

GoodTimesWithScar: We go all out and just straight to murder.

Grian: Okay, you’re the boss.

__

GoodTimesWithScar: *seeing a house fire* I’ve got water, guys! I’ve got water, and if anyone needs to die, I’m open.

__

GoodTimesWithScar: Just think about this. Your loved ones will be able to come and see you in dignity, instead of just lying on the ground like this. Ehhhhhhhhhhhh.

ZombieCleo: I don’t really have a lot of dignity, it’s not really my watchword. 

__

Bdubs: Take the diamond. Take it. Cleo, they’re too kind. 

ZombieCleo: They are too kind.

Bdubs: Free bubble elevator?

GoodTimesWithScar: Remember us in your time of need.

__

GoodTimesWithScar: Are you building ancient ruins?

Etho: I’m just building—I’m gonna show them a wall. It’s a double-wide wall. These are very special to me. 

GoodTimesWithScar: Everybody, come gather up here.

Etho: Get some light. And then you get some water. This is to make it difficult to pass by the wall. 

Bdubs: This is a TNT cannon. 

GoodTimesWithScar: This is a water slide!

Etho: No no no. 

ZombieCleo: That’s exactly what this is. 

Bdubs: This is the start of a TNT cannon, I’m a red stone genius. 

Etho: It’s a wall. 

GoodTimesWithScar: You guys have no imagination, I’ll tell you that. 

Etho: It’s a redstone-controlled wall. 

Bdubs: THIS IS A TNT CANNON. 

__

Etho: Woah, okay, you got fireworks. 

ZombieCleo: Yeah, we got fireworks. 

Etho: Ahhh. Okay, I’m gonna—

ZombieCleo: Do you want to take your “wall” with you?

Etho: Do you not like my wall?

ZombieCleo: No, well, it’s a lovely wall. I’d just prefer it was built in front of wherever Scar’s base is. 

__

Bdubs: No matter what happens, I’m not moving. 

Etho: If this was a TnT cannon, you’d gets some slabs or something,  maybe a ladder over here—

Bdubs: You watched my tutorial, I see. 

Etho: And then like this—

Creeper: *explodes directly behind Bdubs*

Bdubs: AUgh!

Etho: Something like that, y’know?

Bdubs: Was that it—was that the cannon?

ZombieCleo: *laughing* No.

Bdubs: Dude, that is amazing. You need to do a tutorial on that.

__

GoodTimesWithScar: I don’t know how it happened, but I think I burnt the flint and steel but not the banner.

Grian: Okay, good job I carry a stack.

__

SmallishBeans: Welcome back to 3rd Life, where we have been to the hairdressers, and we now have a yellow streak through our hair. Which has been pointed out to me, kinda looks like someone has peed in my hair. So hopefully we’ll move on to red soon, as I think that’ll look a lot more menacing. 

__

SmallishBeans: Alright, I feel like I’m missing out on a lot of death, and I love death. So let’s head back to the surface. 

__

SmallishBeans: I feel like I might be pledging allegiance to too many people at this point, but I don’t care. I’m just not gonna tell any of them. I’m kinda on good terms with Scar, and Ren. So I can just choose who I’m gonna betray. It’s awesome. Who should I betray? Them all! *laughs*

__

Skizzleman: I almost did it cause I love to take risks like that. I’m an idiot. 

__

InTheLittleWood: The crastle hermits attacked one of our own by burning Joel’s roof and in turn his body. 

__

Grian: Skizzleman, you don’t want your series to end early. We’ve got netherite swords. 

__

Grian: Dude. Scar does not listen to me. 

Skizzleman: Try. Try it one time. 

__

RenDog: That is a declaration of war. So. I hope you’re happy with yourselves. We will be seeing you very soon. And you better be ready to fight, cause it’s going down. Mmmkay?

__

Grian: <Scar come home>

Skizzleman: <We’ll bring him home in a box>

__

RenDog: Unfortunately, that is a declaration of war. We’re locked in, dudes. 

InTheLittleWood: We’ve fought together, we’ll thrive together. 

__

Skizzleman: ‘You hit pizza’ says Grian. What do you think we’re aiming for, homie?!

__

RenDog: The banner is up and flying. Red Winter is here my friends, and we are going till the end. 

__

SolidarityGaming: Does this mean all the red names are gonna come together? And we’re all gonna be chill? Y’know? All gonna be good? Gonna go on a killing spree?

__

Smajor: You’re scary now that you’re red. 

RenDog: I am red indeed. 

Smajor: I have my own red! No Jimmy, don’t go near him, don’t go near him. 

SolidarityGaming: I’m stickin’ up for you!

InTheLittleWood: My red could beat up your red any day. 

SolidarityGaming: No, but, but. 

Smajor: My red could beat up your red? You probably can. But my red’s—here. 

SolidarityGaming: Say something good about me!

__

Smajor: Is he a pirate?

InTheLittleWood: Don’t even worry about it. Little bit of pirate, game of thrones, Scottish...

RenDog: We’re having a little bit of trouble with the accent. 

InTheLittleWood: We?! Oui? Apparently I’m stuck in French. 

Rendog: Well, me. Me in particular. Anyways. 

__

RenDog: Okay guys, I came in a bit hot. I’m a bit flustered. I’m sorry. That felt a bit aggressive?

__

SolidarityGaming: I know whats gonna happen here, alright? We’re gonna end up partnering up with them, you’re gonna end up on the alter, I’m gonna be looking you in the eyes, and they’re gonna sacrifice you. And I don’t want that, alright?

__

SolidarityGaming: I’m gonna make a book, and you’re going in that book, alright? We’re gonna have our own altar, and Martyn, you’re going on it. 

Smajor: Jimmy can’t write. Jimmy can’t spell, don’t worry. 

InTheLittleWood: If Jimmy did make a book, it would be labeled ‘people can beat Jimmy at PVP’

SolidarityGaming: Scott’s gonna make a book, and he’s gonna write you in it. 

__

SolidarityGaming: He was basically talking about you being a sacrifice. One of us being a sacrifice. 

Smajor: Yeah but Jimmy, I have prot. v, prot. iv, prot. iv. 

SolidarityGaming: It doesn’t matter! He was gonna put you on an altar! I guarantee, someone is gonna die on an altar. I guarantee it. 

Smajor. Okay. It’s not going to be me. 

SolidarityGaming: Sorry, I’m stressed. I’m flustered. 

__

Grian: But they have an Etho. 

GoodTimesWithScar: Remember, we just flash some TNT and Etho will follow us. 

__

GoodTimesWithScar: And we’re just here to chit-chat. And provide gifts. Didn’t expect the gift part, now did you. 

SolidarityGaming: *delighted* No I didn’t. I didn’t actually. 

__

Grian: Scar, I’m surprised you’ve made any friends on this server, to be honest.

GoodTimesWithScar: I have a lot of friends. I know Etho in the end, he’s gonna support us. 

Grian: Scar, remember, the second I lose this life, I’m out. You know that, right?

__ 

Smajor: You’re both still our allies, even if you’re not together. It can be an amicable breakup. 

__ 

Smajor: I feel like yes, he’s betrayed everyone else he’s been friends with, but at the same time, we’ve actually given him useful things. 

__

InTheLittleWood: How are you feeling? Do you feel refreshed after the smitherines that was you last week?

RenDog: Let me tell you something Martyn. I got revenge in my veins today. I’ve been thinking about it all week. 

__ 

RenDog: Essentially, don’t be too nervous, it’s basically just a causal test of loyalty, that’s it. 

InTheLittleWood: Sure. 

__

InTheLittleWood: What’s death like? I never asked, the first time. 

RenDog: It’s a little bit moist, to be honest. 

__ 

InTheLittleWood: You’re a cruel one, my lord. Funny but cruel. 

__

InTheLittleWood: I won’t do it! You took me in when I was a lowly traveller, goin’ across the lands, searchin’ the four corners of this world. I learned that there was nothing in this world for me. Nothing but walls, corners, edges. And you know what? You showed me life. As much as I’ve taken it from you, you gave it back to me in bucket fulls. and I just- I’m with you. This is us now. This is us.

RenDog: It’s ye and me till the end, Hand. 

__

InTheLittleWood: I’ve gotta come clean now, because you’ve basically laid yourself out, and been so vulnerable, and trusted in me.

RenDog: I stood naked before you, dude! You saw all me bits!

InTheLittleWood: I did! They were grey and long and I’ll be honest, they look strong! I’m only saying that cause it rhymed. 

Rendog: Well thank you. Ladies, gentlemen, everybody in between, get in line, do you know what I’m sayin. 

__

Skizzleman: Martyn I’m sorry, I just, I got alarmed there. 

InTheLittleWood: You judged me before you even knew me. 

Skizzleman: Well, you murdered somebody. And you set me on fire, don’t forget. 

__

InTheLittleWood: You mind how you speak to my liege!

SmallishBeans: Oh you shut up. 

InTheLittleWood: Okay. 

__

InTheLittleWood: Is someone shooting fireworks?

RenDog: It’s Cleo. Cleo’s got some sort of crazy crossbow of doom

__

InTheLittleWood: That’s one person from the list who’s managed to die now. What happens with the list, boss? Is it a case of, when somebody dies they come off the list, and then they go back on with y’know, good reason? Or what?

RenDog: The Black Book. If you’re in the Black Book it means it’s the end of 3rd Life for you. 

InTheLittleWood: Oh wow, this is all the way. Also, it looks like someone is sneaking into Renchanting. 

__

GoodTimesWithScar: Etho, Etho, this is a betrayal, by the way. 

Etho: Yeah, I know. You should give the banner back. 

__

Etho: Don’t water board him!

InTheLittleWood: If he doesn’t give back the banner, that’s gotta be the way it goes. 

__

Grian: Things could start to get a little bit dangerous, I think Scar needs to put his clothes back on again. How—this series is 50% people dying by accident, and 50% ‘Scar put your clothes back on’. 

__

GoodTimesWithScar: Do you want me to try to get them out?

Grian: Yes. Use Etho. 

__

Bdubs: Wait a second. Water elevator? Pufferfish? 

Grian: Yeah look, it didn’t go to plan. 

Bdubs: I’m starting to put the pieces together.

ZombieCleo: Are you really just starting to put the pieces together, Bdubs?

Bdubs: I finally figured it out!

__

Bdubs: Cleo, he’s trying to take our diamonds! Scar, try out this elevator. 

ZombieCleo: Oh no, not our diamond, that is so rare.

GoodTimesWithScar: I’ll meet you up, Bdubs. I’ll race you to the top.

Bdubs: There’s lava here!

__

Grian: Success. Absolute success. Well, kind of. It was messy, it didn’t work the first time around. Like I said, all my traps work the second time round. 

__

Grian: Look, okay, hear me out. This is how it breaks down with you. I’m Grian, you’re Etho. I’m trying to convince you to join me. You have to choose the one that you think Etho would choose. Hey Etho! Do you hate me, Etho?

GoodTimesWithScar: *Nods*

Grian: You do Etho? 

GoodTimesWithScar: *places TNT*

Grian: No! No Etho! Bad! 

GoodTimesWithScar: Okay, is that Etho?

Grian: I got a proposition for you Etho, right? I will give you a piece of paper, and a horse armour, huh? And in exchange you do what I want. That’s option one. 

GoodTimesWithScar: Welch, I apologize to say this, but no. That was my Canadian accent. Okay, for realisies? TNT again. *places TNT*

Grian: No, no. Number two, option number two—why don’t you help me blow something up?

GoodTimesWithScar: *gasps* I’m so down. 

Grian: You see? That’s how it works. That’s how it works with Etho. He doesn’t like horse armour. 

__

Grian: *in a whisper* Don’t trust him. He has betrayed everyone we’ve been friends with. Just, be careful. 

Smajor: We will.

SolidarityGaming: But he said we warmed his heart. 

__

Grian: Scar, why have you done this!?

__

GoodTimesWithScar: Grian? I think I need to go kill one of them. They’re not good people. They killed Pizza. I’m actually slightly in shock right now, that they killed Pizza. 

Grian: *stammering*

GoodTimesWithScar: I don’t even know what to think.

Grian: I told you, they were aiming for Pizza. 

GoodTimesWithScar: They could have aimed at me all they wanted, but Pizza was an innocent animal—I wanna go out. I wanna kill them. 

Grian: Scar, no. Next session, they’re leaving. Scar, you can’t win 4v1, and I can’t help you in a PvP fight. *pause* We could set Etho’s castle on fire. GoodTimesWithScar: There we go. 

__

Smajor: Where there’s a me there’s a way.

__

Smajor: Wait, Tango was shot by Impulse? What? I don’t know what happened there, but that seems spicy. 

__

Smajor: Etho was shot by Tango? I don’t know if I want to go over here. Seems like some cult stuff.

__

Smajor: I was wondering, seeing as you decided to spit in the face of Dogwarts, if we wanted to get an alliance with different folk. 

__

Smajor: Well that was another episode of 3rd life. We got ourselves some really good armour, which is useful, because we also got ourselves some enemies.

__

Etho: You’re gonna turn on one of your Crastle people, just like that?

Bdubs: Hey! Hey. This is justice. This is justice. I still love him. But doesn’t mean I can’t punish him. 

ZombieCleo: This is all Bdubs, at this point.

Etho: You’re Lawful Bad?

Bdubs: Is that what it is? Okay. 

Impulse: Tough love is what it is, that’s all.

__

TangoTek: I can wear my armour?

Bdubs: You can wear one piece of armour, and it has to be the filthy helmet that you wore last episode.

__

Bdubs: The whole thing was a plan to get Etho. We had to get Tango first. 

ZombieCleo: Did Tango know about the plan?

Bdubs: He knows—He didn’t know. But he’ll know—

ZombieCleo: He knows now.

Bdubs: He knows now, yeah. 

__

ZombieCleo: I still need to burn down Joel’s house. 

Bdubs: Right. Of course. That should be on the list. But why, though?

__

GoodTimesWithScar: Someday, death will come. And do you want to be one of these fools, just dead on the ground, just lying on the ground looking straight up like a fool—or do you want to go to the afterlife in Style?

Bdubs: I mean, style. Style is nice. *pause* Is this a threat? The whole thing feels like a threat. 

GoodTimesWithScar: Noooo, this is a happy thing. Look at this, look at this. Bdubs, this is the executive model of the coffins.

ZombieCleo: Bdubs, he’s putting you in a coffin right now. 

Bdubs: It’s fine, it’s fine, he can’t touch me. 

ZombieCleo: You say that, he’s red, he absolutely can touch you. 

__

ZombieCleo: *facing the fact that their base is on fire* It’s not worth your life, darlin’

Bdubs: *on four hearts, running into fire* But it has to be dark oak to match the rest of the floor, and we don’t have any more saplings. 

__

Bdubs: The second those fools came over here I was thinking to myself ‘just do it’. The bumblin’ fools were putzing around trying to kill me, and sure enough finally they did. But it wasn’t without a little help from me. I wanted it. I WANTED it! Finally I’m red! As a yellow, on my second life, I can’t do anything. But on my third life, now—I’m a weapon.

__

Etho: You executed him just so he would be a threat? 

RenDog: That’s right. 

InTheLittleWood: Literally, yeah. 

RenDog: So that one of us could be red, so that we could uh—

Etho: Wow.

InTheLittleWood: He created a weird altar and everything, it was a whole situation. 

Etho: That is a boss move, I’ve gotta say, Ren. 

[sharperthewriter]

Episode 22 - Job Unfair

Plot: Kim is stuck with the new janitor and Ron is bonded to a mysterious spy during Mentor Week while Drakken and Shego try to take over Canada via a weather machine.

Rides: Mr. Peevy

MHS Readerboards: 

Favorite Lines:  Salesman: Hey, our weather machines are perfectly legal. How you use them... That's your business, eh? Try one. I can see you're a discerning customer. Nothing says doomsday machine like the 3,000 LXS. Hurricane-grade winds, water-vapor compressor. It makes the perfect storm even better. Drakken: Heated seats? Salesman: Standard.Drakken: We'll take it! Salesman: Great! Hey, why don't we step into the office. Drakken: No, I mean we'll take it. Shego!

Ron: Amp down, KP. And remember the whole mentor concept is a trap.

Computer: Bioscan complete. Subject is Ron Stoppable. Kim: What? Ron: I've got a mentor! Listen! Listen to this! "Due to my on-going espionage activities, initial communication will be via non-traceable means." Yes!

Kim: A lightning rod? Shego: If it were up to me, I'd go for the direct approach, but you know Drakken.

Joe: As the Drakken expert, you were a natural for this mission. Kim: I don't know anything about weather machines. Joe: That's why I was sent to train you.

Kim: You must be the new janitor. Welcome to Middleton High. I'm Kim Possible. Ludwig: Augh! Miss Possible! It is excellent that I have found you fast! I am a Bavarian spy on a top-secret mission! Kim: Really? Great. Here we go.

Strengths: Joe, Drakken and Shego, the weather machine, the writing and humor were all on point.

Weaknesses: none 

Final Score: 10 Nacos out of 10

[gargalesthesia]

KIRIBAKU FIC REC MASTERLIST!

here are ALL of the kiribaku fics i’ve ever made a rec list for/recommended to a friend!

@whatsupitsalexx you asked for a masterlist, you get a masterlist!! i’ve updated some of these lists as well SO HERE ARE MORE!!!!!!

i’ve repeated many fics during recs so make sure you dont have any duplicates since i describe them differently each time!

AGAIN!!!!! PLEASE READ ALL THE TAGS FOR EACH AND EVERY FIC AS THERE MAY BE SOMETHING TRIGGERING

!updated! funny kiribaku fics with tiny hints of angst and A LOT of fluff:

uncompleted fic: my first one and only by blackbarbooks

this one??? THIS BITCH HAD ME CACKLING AT 3 AM IN THE MORNING,,,, its so funny (and a little bit smutty because y’know) and the characterization is just *chefs kiss* MWAH

completed fic: stay with me by gahooligangirl

LITTLE TO NONE ANGST,,,,,, BUT DUDE I L O V E D THIS FIC WAY TOO MUCH AND ITS JUST,,,, SO,,,,,, CUTE

another completed fic: our thing by livinglittlelie

A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL DURING SPARRING ACJWOIFHFIM POST CANON AND,,,,,, ADO R A B L E

punch my mouth with your mouth by questcat44

okay okay okay this one was honestly so cute because kiri is such a FOOL smh

angsty kiribaku fics that left me heartbroken and with my jaw slack

as promised by mikip23

UGH.

FUCK.

IM CRYING EVEN AS I READ THE DESCRIPTION OF THE FIC TO MAKE SURE I HAVE THE RIGHT ONE.

NVM ME CURRENTLY JUST

SOBBING

heart strings by heartofjems

I JUST READ THIS ONE TONIGHT

HOLY. FUCK.

WHAT THE ACTUAL SHIT

IM CRYING

THIS, I-

ILL JUST LET YOU READ IT

remember me by bleukitsune

fuck you and this fucking fic jfc

im CRYING sir

THIS SHOULD NOT BE LEGAL.

PLEASE TAG YOUR FICS BEFORE YOU POST I WAS CAUGHT OFF GUARD

the fool’s rush by chonideno

POST CANON AND ANGST AND KIRIBAKU???????

FUCKING COUNT ME IN

UGH THis ABSOLUTELY WRECKED ME

ACKWDN

!updated! fluff/pick-me-up/feel good kiribaku fics!

my first one and only by blackbarbooks

this fic is such a nice and funny one i couldnt help but read it in one sitting! the pacing, the characterization, everything is just so good! i’ve recced this fic wayyyyy too many times but EVERYONE needs to see it! just a small warning there is a little smut as kiri and baku are testing the waters. dating is a new thing for them but they’re taking it like champs!! i got second hand embarrassment from it-

your hand to hold, your heart to keep by ladymarshmallow

this fic could possibly be my FAVOURITE kiribaku wedding fic, like i read it again a few weeks ago and it just begs to be reread over and over! it’s a quick read and very very very fluffy because they’re SO HAPPy together and im just soft

our thing by livinglittlelie

honestly,,,,,,,, this fic made me cry of happiness, i love kiribaku and their softness in this and it just *sniffles* i love it so much and the sparring????? AUGH im SOFT

obvious by amethystunarmed

OH MY GOD. THIS FUCKING FIC. IM SO,,,,,,,, I WAS UGLY LAUGHING I LOVED IT SO M U C H!!!!!! im just so WRECKED for kirishima and bakugou post canon!!!!! kiri gets kidnapped and NO ONE KNEW ABOUT KIRIBAKU BEING CANON UNTIL KIRI GETS KIDNAPPED and i just adowanfceksjkds

all according to keikaku........... by carolinaa

FUCKING LMAOOOOOOO I LOVE THIS FIC WITH MY HEART AND SOUL!!!!! TODODEKU AND KIRIBAKU JUST,,, MMMMMM

!updated! angst with happy ending kiribaku fics!

first up: kokoronashi by chiisanaai

THIS MADE MY CRY MY HEART OUT OKAY???? THIS HURT ME SO FREAKING MUCH

UGH THE SLOW BURN HIT ME HARD

I THINK THIS WAS ONE OF THE FIRST KIRIBAKU FICS IVE EVER READ AND BOY DO I NOT REGRET A THING

quote love unquote by newamsterdam

band! kirishima and actor! bakugou

O u c HHHH!!!!!

UGH IM WRRRECCKKKKEEDDD FOR THE LAST SCENE OF THIS FIC

ISTG

IM DYING

I KEEP GOING BACK TO READ IT

must have been the wind by quirkle

TW for this one, it has domestic abuse (abusive relationship,,,, cause dabi is a BITCH) and bakugou is not treated like the royalty he is D:

this one is amazing written

idk man its just so good

speak into the silence by rosedvst

i read this fic just tonight

i am still crying as i write this

i cant stop the tears

post canon kiribaku where no one knows about their relationship

as well as fucking near death angst

im still crying after this ugh

the bakusquad

is

i

ugh im wrecked

by dawn, promise me by chezka

so i have such a soft spot for hanahaki disease au’s

and i cry everytime

so have this little one shot that i cried over as well

roses are red and they taste like shit by unbreakable_red_riot

guess who has another hanahaki disease fic for you

this bitch

the slow burn is IMMACULATE

ngl

misunderstood by jupiterrose

okay this fic

starts out SO ANGSTY like i couldnt even

but then it becomes so fuckin/??????? cute????? like

yes please

[nat-20s]

Why Ten & Donna are just so fuckin good

A very scientific study by ME

Banter

Hijinks

Shenanigans

Banter, hijinks, and shenanigans particularly and especially when there should not be banter, hijinks, and shenanigans

GENTLE and TENDER and KIND and SOMFT

they,,,hoold,,,,haND

they,,,,HU,G

Submitting to the mortifying ordeal of being known and granting the rewards of being loved is a two way street babey and they’re drivin it

it’s about the trust it’s about the casual affection it’s about the two halves of one whole

they honestly go through so much god awful shit but you KNOW they get through it!! because they have each other!!!

shared burdens augh ;_;

Found fambily?? Mutual healing? BITCH!

Ten is THE number two Donna Noble stan. Number 1 is Wilf.

literally he jus fukcing ADORES her SO MUCH you guys!!!!!!1

Donna Noble voice: NO callout posts of The Doctor rescinded he is my best friend now

One! Shared! Braincell! One! Shared! Braincell!

Literally the epitome of “i regret to inform you I’m back on my bullshit” *grabs your hand* “No WE’RE back on our bullshit” and both of them are both

It’s honestly incredible that they’re both such caring and brave and brilliant individuals and they bring those traits out in each other and yet simultaneously they are both. so goddamn stupid. and they also bring THAT out in each other. 

on a related note they are both Very Loud and a Lil Rude and it works well for them

Sass

mlum/wooloowoo solidarity (or if ur like me and every time u see baby david tennant ur brain for some reason says ‘lesbian’ wlw/wlw solidarity) 

Catherine Tate and David Tennant could talk about like packing peanuts for 45 minutes and i would be so enamoured THATS the power of their off the charts chemistry that they bring to every role!

we know for a fact that at least some of the ten and donna scenes were just CT and DT being let loose and what can i say being dumbass best friends in real life makes for enchanting dumbass best friends on screen

have many of THE most iconic scenes in all of doctor who!!!

like it’s been a decade and i have YET to see another reunion scene that is so utterly delightful as the one in partners in crime (especially with the setup of all the Almost Reunions and then!! them missing each other on main!!! UGH c’est magnifique!!)

Ten is legally required to Chill Out (something Ten is usually physically incapable of because he MUST be extra) in Donna’s presence and Donna is legally required to Love and Value Herself in Ten’s presence and I think that’s beautiful

When donna is like *points out one of ten’s major flaws* and ten is like *stammers for 45 seconds bc she’s not wrong but SHUT UP* that’s the Goode Shit

I just *clenches fist* love them a lot you guys feel free to add your own

[queertazsecretsanta]

A gift for @gravitaz, created by @dork-empress!

~~

“GREETINGS NEWTON FAMILY!” Minerva announced, flinging the door open. 

“Honey!” Duck said, clutching his hat to catch up from where he was running up the driveway, “I told you to KNOCK!”

“I did!” Minerva said, “and the door did not open, and so I decided to help it along!” She smiled at him, outshining the sun. Or so it seemed to Duck anyway. 

“You are welcome to rob us.” A girl said from the stairs, “Start with Duck’s old dolls--oh, sorry ‘’’action figures.’’’’”

Duck rolled his eyes, and pulled the girl, his sister Jane, into a half-hug, which quickly turned into more of a half-nelson. “Missed you too, Gremlin.”

“Augh!!!” she yelled, flailing like they were kids again, “Abuse! Abuse! Child abuse!”

“Oh please,” Duck said, “You’re not a kid anymore, you can’t use that excuse.”

Jane grumbled. “That’s right!” she said in challenge, “I can fight back!” Jane darted her hands out to tickle Duck’s stomach instead, getting him to let go. “Ha! Jane Newton, Still the Undefeated champion!!”

“Most impressive!” Minerva said, still standing in the doorway and somehow not looking awkward, “Wayne Newton is a most formidable warrior.”

Jane raised her eyebrows. “Wayne, huh?”

Duck scowled at his sister, “Let it go Janey.” 

“I also wish to inform you, Jane Newton,” Minerva continued, “That I have no intention of robbing your house, even Wayne Newton’s action figures.” 

Jane smiled, “Oh, I like this one, Ducky.”

“Nope,” Duck said, shaking his head, “we’re not doing that.”

Jane ignored him and held out her hand to Minerva, “Pleased to meet you in person, Minerva.”

Minerva beamed again. “You as well, Jane Newton. I wonder, are you what people call, ‘a hugger?’” 

Duck could see three whole jokes pass through Jane’s head that she swallowed down. “Yes, I most certainly am--”

Minerva swooped Jane up into one of her classic bone-crushing hugs. Jane groaned as the air left her lungs, while Duck snickered at her pain. He’s been there, though he didn’t regret it. “Alright, honey, let her breathe.”

Minerva let Jane down, who staggered back. “Well. Damn,” Jane said, blinking at the hug. 

Minerva paused, “I hope I was not too forceful, Jane Newton. I’ve learned to ask permission first, but I have been told I have trouble holding in my incredible strength.”

Jane whistled. “Oh, I’m fine. Just fine,” she said, biting her lip. 

“Hey,” Duck shooed her into the house, “My girlfriend, you can’t have her. Stop it.”

Jane chuckled, walking into the hallway, and letting Duck and Minerva properly enter. Duck took off his shoes, Minerva mimicking him. “Forgive me for stalling out here. I was just trying to save you, Mom’s on the warpath, and--”

“Wayne?” they heard a call from the kitchen, “Is that you Wayne?” 

Duck sighed, “Hi Mom,” he said, “Minerva’s here too.” 

“Excellent, come in here and set the table!” His mother called. 

Duck sighed, taking Minerva’s hand and leading her to the kitchen. 

His mother was bouncing about from counter to counter, preparing at least 3 dishes at once. On sight of her son, she thrust a stack of napkins into his hands. “Good to see you too, Mom.”

She doubled back to kiss him on the cheek before dropping her phone onto the pile of napkins. “I’ve pulled up a video on how to fold them, follow it as closely as you can. Jane, check on the vegetables while I mind the turkey, and--oh goodness.” She had finally taken in Minerva. “Oh my deary, you’re much taller than you looked on Skype.”

Minerva took it in stride. “Yes, I am very tall in comparison to most hu--women.” she stopped herself from saying humans, and Duck could only hope his mother and sister overlooked it. “Some people have become intimidated, I’ve noticed, but do not fear. I am here only for peace.” 

Mrs. Newton’s face lit up. “Fear? Oh goodness no, deary. You’re perfect. Can you get the platters I’ve put on the top shelf there? I don’t fully trust my step stool, it’s rather old.”

“Certainly!” Minerva said, easily reaching up to grab it.

Duck smiled, taking the napkins into the dining room. He didn’t know why he worried. He should have known his family would take to Minerva just the same as he did.

He was still folding the first napkin by the time Minerva came in with a beautifully plated asparagus, complete with drizzles of sauce. “Are you having trouble, Wayne Newton?” Minerva asked. 

Duck sighed, “Sorry ‘bout my mom,” he said, “She tends to go all out, and goes a bit overboard in my opinion. I mean, this is a bit much for a simple Candlenights.”

“There is no need to apologize,” Minerva said, “I don’t really know much about your human traditions. What is Candlenights, anyway?”

“A trademark of Big Head Productions LLC,” Duck answered easily. Minerva blinked, as she did when she was trying to figure out if something was a joke or not. “Look, back when she left my dad, Mom had this huge falling out with her church, and felt...weird celebrating Christmas. So we celebrate this like, secular version that’s on this podcast she likes and connects a bunch of different holidays together. Hence the menorah,” he said, nodding at the candle that served as a centerpiece, “And the Thanksgiving turkey and New Years Eve poppers….its just a whole grab bag of winter holidays.”

Minerva nodded, “A brave thing to do, to leave a culture behind that had wronged her, and to start something fresh and new.”

Duck smiled, “‘Brave’ is a...nice way of describing mom,” he said, “She’s a character, for sure. Always liked to do things her own way. It’s funny, when I came out---” he stopped himself, reminding himself he hadn’t actually super had this conversation with his girlfriend yet. Most people already knew once they’d known him long enough, but Minerva didn’t know a lot of human culture or societal norms or...anything. 

“Came out of what?” Minerva asked, the only indication of how long he had stopped talking.

Duck took a breath, and summoned her over to his mother’s picture wall. There were two that were further back than a few years ago, the first of him when he was a baby….and the second of him with Jane when she was a baby. Except he had little pigtails and a yellow dress he’d hated wearing even that far back. “So, this is me,” he pointed at the young child holding up baby Jane. “Or...was me.” She frowned at him, not understanding the significance. “Ho boy, where to start. Um, so, when I was born….people thought I was a girl,” he winced, unsure how to explain western gender standards to an alien. Minerva always referred to herself as she, but he was unsure if that was a translation thing, or if her planet had the same gender norms or what.

“Why did they think that?” Minerva asked, innocently.

“I just…” Duck said, “Sometimes...that happens. People use the markers they have available before kids are old enough to really know themselves, and then...if they got it wrong, then those people---me---are called Trans. Like, transitioning. I’m a trans man.” She nodded. “But uh. Anyway. The point is, when they do the telling, it’s called ‘coming out.’ And...some parents don’t react well to it.” He smirked, “Not Mom though. She was ready to go toe-to-toe to anyone who gave me trouble about it. Gave me the name ‘Wayne’ too….that was quite the ordeal.” 

He frowned, but wasn’t seriously annoyed at the memories of Mrs. Newton being fine with helping to change the gender marker on his ID, but refusing to let him legally change his name to ‘Duck.’ in fairness, he was happy with just having Duck be a nickname now. Wayne Newton was something he and his mother bonded over, so it worked out well, a symbol for just the family.

“Then she is an honorable woman,” Minerva said, getting Duck to smile wider, “and a worthy commander, I must go and help with preparing more dishes to be served. Are you sure you don’t need help with the napkins?”

Duck sighed, mood souring as he turned back to the cloth that refused to fold like in the video. “Give me one more chance before I call it forfeit,” he said. She frowned again, trying to figure out if it was a joke. “I’ll be fine,” he told her, quickly jumping to his toes to kiss her on the cheek, “Go help, before she declares you AWOL.”

Minerva smiled, recognizing that one for a joke. She gave a salute, “Yes, sir!” she said, before marching back into the kitchen.

Duck smiled, watching after her. He gave one last look to the photo on the wall, the only one of him pre-social transition his mom kept up. Even that had come with a long discussion, but Duck wasn’t ashamed of being trans, and besides, the first pictures of Baby Jane were important.

As he heard footsteps, though, he turned his attention back to the napkins. How in the hell was he supposed to just make it look like a swan?!

[charcherry-weekly]

Charcherry Weekly - Issue 73

Augh... It's been hard staying awake the past couple days. Like, when was the last time a newsletter arrived this late?

Welp, the show must go on.

Yule festivities

Since the beginning of the winter solstice, Yuletide has been ongoing, and Brae Emit has been hosting festivities at her cabin. It's been fairly relaxed, mostly one on one drop-ins, though there are some that have been sticking around for a while. There is also a mysterious fog thats been hanging on the edge of the forest, howling heard beyond it. Reportedly, it's some sort of wild hunt, but with pokemon. On the 25th, presents were given out to those that showed up at some point. Yuletide lasts until the end of the month, so if you haven't shown up already, now would be the time. Just remember to let Brae know you're on your way so she can prepare a little bit.

Voidco activity!

There has been reports of a subsidiary of voidco active in the area. They are apparently known as Bug'em incorporated, and seem to have something to do with catching bug Pokemon. Further details forthcoming.

All I want for Christmas is you

Lately, there have been a few arrivals from out of the immediate area. Mage of Life Blaze, has been given a bugstop chip which has effectively allowed Blaze and her netnavi, Splashwoman.exe, become cleaned enough to finally enter the Endgame door, and see the beauty of the Gene Universe from the inside. I'm so glad she's gotten a chance to join us here for once. Her tireless efforts and the strains it put upon her really worried me before.

I had taken it upon myself to retrieve my sibling, Mage of Light Nick Card. Using an odd flower, I traveled to the Pinto region, and it was a sight to behold. Seeing as the source of the captchalogue code had not been revealed (not to mention causal spoiler bullshit earlier), I also managed to complete a timeloop by getting those ghost captchas by myself. Like sure, nurse joy did give me some weird looks, but if I've learned anything, it's that you gotta be willing to get embarrassed for the sake of the timeline.

When I finally caught up with Nick, they were getting their trainer's license at the trainer school. They managed to pass the battle exam with flying colors, OHKOing the substitute teacher's Onix with a single water gun from Slope the Slowpoke. They were then given a trainer's card, allowing them to legally begin their Pinto league gym challenge. However, I wanted them to come home for Christmas first.

Apparently it had only been two days over there while months had passed over here.

When Nick and their friend HAZEL (tangentially related to Heir of Hope Hazel Careon, not sure exactly how, but they do have a connection) end up returning to their adventure together, I'm sure not too much time will have passed over there.

Odd visitor in Desertia

Recently, a spacefaring traveller has shown up in Desertia town. They seem to be fairly reasonable, though there's been complaints from them that there aren't enough places to go shopping around here. In fact, I don't think there even are any places to shop at in Desertia town. I do wonder if changing that would bring more life to the place? Then again, it could also bring more pirates trying to blow the place to smithereens again, but this time we should be prepared for any incident like that.

In my opinion, I think the town could use some sorta action at this point.

Is Die Hard a Christmas movie?

On the night before Christmas, Heir of Time Thoren Emit, and Heir of Breath June Egbert made their annual trip around Starter Planet to deliver gifts for Redistro/Christmas/Frogmas/Night of the Delibirds. Reportedly, the route went very well, though did encounter a few snags. As I speak, Nick has been gathering information on this and has been putting it into an rpg maker game. Apparently there's one part that closely mirrors the plot of Die Hard? I've only really watched it once with the Maid of Life long ago when we were dating. According to June, there was a sighting of a possibly voidco affiliated group known as Team Abyssal that took over an office building somewhere in Neon City. According to Nick's insight, a thief of blood had teamed up with them for the stated goal of trying to "destroy all pokemon" or something. Needless to say it didn't pan out and the thief has been declared dead (Just judgement) after having been beheaded, after falling down a tall building.

Regardless, the captives were rescued, Lucario and Gardevoir were reunited, and everyone lived happily ever after. Probably.

Unfortunately, time moves on beyond the endings we write, so it's hard to tell what will happen next. Further investigation will need to be done on Team Abyssal.

And that should do it. I really wish I wasn't so freaking sleepy lately.

[acroamatica]

i want to tell you a story about a book.

this book first came into my consciousness as an idea attached to a person i love enormously, and every idea of this sort that this person has ever had was both solid and entertaining, and i’m sure, although i don’t remember exactly how the conversation went, that i said i couldn’t wait to read it.

of course over several months other people with far more power and influence than your obedient servant here had a similar reaction to it, and pretty soon the book had sold, and i jumped around at least half as much as if it had been my own book, and that time i definitely said i couldn’t wait to read it, knowing that soon i would.

a few months later again, an offer, and a very kind one: did i want to read the complete draft? to which i said of course i fucking did.

for reasons that had nothing at all to do with this book, when it came to me i didn’t read it immediately. until the end of a particularly and memorably horrendous day, about which i needed to stop thinking before i did anything with legal, financial, or medical consequences. and i thought, what i need is a story.

so i sat down, and over the course of two hours or so, i read this book. and i tried to write down everything i thought, because after all isn’t that the best thing you can do for an author, although it simply wasn’t possible after a certain point - i didn’t even notice three of the chapters go by, i was so completely lost in it. and i knew - of course i already knew, but i knew - this book was going to be terrific.

i don’t think it was called that at that point, but the book i was reading would become strange practice. and it’s sitting at my elbow right now, with that white wood and black ink smell of a new book, and vivian shaw printed on the cover which is surreal because that’s my friend viv and this is her book and i just lost two hours during which i looked up maybe three times, even though i’ve already read it, and - 

- look, a lot of people have said this in their reviews, and that’s because it’s true, but strange practice is a thoroughly kind book. its world is not always kind - it’s recognisably the world we live in, and populated with exactly the sort of people we all know - but it is a book that leaves you convinced that there are people out there, fighting the good fight. and maybe you will never know that they are fighting, because they aren’t fighting for you, but they are fighting, and because of them the world - your world, our world - is better.

if you don’t already know what it’s about, here’s the official blurb:

Meet Greta Helsing, doctor to the undead. Dr. Greta Helsing has inherited the family's highly specialized, and highly peculiar, medical practice. She treats the undead for a host of ills - vocal strain in banshees, arthritis in barrow-wights, and entropy in mummies. It's a quiet, supernatural-adjacent life, until a sect of murderous monks emerges, killing human and undead Londoners alike. As terror takes hold of the city, Greta must use her unusual skills to stop the cult if she hopes to save her practice, and her life.

surprising nobody who’s been following the consistently spectacular work with which @ceruleancynic has been gifting us all these years, it’s also clever, and funny, and thoughtful, and has moments of genuine heartwrench, and is written in prose that has all the perfectly polished elegance of a silver tea service. it’s just such a satisfying, rich, rewarding read. you will love everyone in it. even - maybe especially - the people you don’t expect to love. (don’t even get me started on stephen and eric. or maybe do. just. augh.) and you will all absolutely adore ruthven.

i really, really, very badly, needed this book when it came to me. and i think right now, maybe, a lot of us need this book.

i suspect, maybe you, my dear readers, need this book. so.

in this economy, if you can afford bread for your soul, you can find it out in the wilds, at most reputable bookstores, i’m sure. i’ve not seen it yet, but i got my copy from the book depository, which does free shipping worldwide and has the benefit of not being amazon. that link will take you right to the book. it seems to be priced around $15-20 depending on whose dollars you’re thinking in.

if you can’t afford it, but you need it, i am giving two copies away! please reblog this post and leave a reply stating that you would like to be entered, and on 25 aug 2017 i will pick two winners by random number generator. i will message those people, and if they have not replied in 24hrs i will pick another. you do not have to be following me, although it’d be nice. you do have to be okay with giving a well-meaning, lawful good, stranger-or-possibly-friend on the internet your mailing address if you win. i will ship anywhere the book depository will (i am so sorry if your country is not on the list but it’s a quite large list!). and all i ask in return is that you drop our @ceruleancynic an ask with your thoughts if you like it.

viv - dear viv - what a thing this is that you have done. i am wildly proud of you. and i cannot fucking wait for the sequel. <3 <3 <3

[pyrewriter]

Explanations (Part 2)

Kaleido had found Fe's apartment and kidnapped her, pinning her two stories above the front entrance stairs forcing her to watch as he put bystanders into mazes. "You see Agreste, I can help these people far more than you ever could" he said gloating about his power looking over his work "I can make them face their problems and vices".

"Forcing them to confront the things they already struggle with isn't going to make them better, it will only destroy them" Fe' retorted "If you would just-".

Kaleido turned with a look of disgust "Silence you incompetent quack" he said looking up at her "My contract was terminated all because of your name". He turned back dismissing her with a wave of his hand "Pfft 'Agreste' your name belongs in fashion". 

Fe' grit her teeth "And what do you know about MY FAMILY YOU EGOTISTICAL TWAT" she screamed with fury in her voice. 

Chat heard Fe' shout and picked up the pace "I'm going ahead, don't lag behind" he said over his shoulder as he began to run on all fours. Ladybug tried her best to keep pace with Chat but he was too fast for her to stay with him as he leaped from roof to roof with practiced ease. 

"Oh~not much, but soon I will know everything I need to" Kaleido stated deviously looking up at Fe' as she struggled and writhed against the ink that bound her. Chat had arrived and made his presence known with a shout as he jumped from the school roof arms above his head. Kaleido jumped back as Chat struck the ground where he had just been with his staff shattering the stairs, "How did you escape your labyrinth so quickly?" he demanded. Chat stood and threw his staff at him but it missed flying past hitting a hydrant causing it to burst and spew water into the street washing away some of the mazes.

"I dealt with that shit long before you made me relive it, no shut up and fight" Chat said cracking his knuckles. 

"Ha! with aim like that you real-"            

Chat tackled him into the puddle that the hydrant had formed, "I said shut up".

"Augh!" Kaleido exclaimed as he threw an ink blob at Chat hitting him square in the chest but it only splattered against him before being washed away. "What!?" he looked down at himself and saw his ink was runny and smearing "DAMN YOU" he yelled throwing a right hook, Chat took the hit without flinching. 

"HAHA Not so tough without your ink are you" he mocked kicking his opponent in the gut hard enough to make him slide back, their fight quickly devolved into a brawl. Chat had landed multiple devastating blows that would crumple a normal human to Kaleido's sides and jaw as he tried to pummel him into submission. Ladybug saw Chat had the situation handled and didn't want to get involved so she decided to gather the nearby mazes, placing them together for when she cleansed the Akuma. Kaleido wasn't going down, changing tactics Chat started aiming for pockets, when he hit his front shirt pocket Chat heard and felt something break. 

The Akuma flew from the pocket moments later which caught Ladybug's attention and she acted on instinct, cleansing it immediately. Doing so freed all those trapped in their mazes but it also dissolved the ink suspending Fe' causing her to plummet to the ground. 

Ladybug was slow to recognize her grave error and tried to use her power before she hit the ground "Miraculous Ladybug" but she would hit the ground before it would work, luckily Chat was faster and had already caught her. 

However he too acted on instinct and tossing her back into the air caught her on his shoulder and with an exhale said "Light as Balsa".

"What" Fe' said as what Chat had just said and done sunk in.

Chat quickly put a hand over his mouth putting Fe' down "Uh...*BEEP BEEP* Oh, would you look at that gotta go, glad you're safe bye" he said quickly before launching himself onto the roof. Fe' zoned out as she stared at where Chat had disappeared as gears in her head began to turn. 

"Are you alright?" Ladybug asked putting a hand on Fe's shoulder. 

Fe' looked at Ladybug for a moment before realizing that Ladybug had asked her a question "Y-yes I'm fine thank you for saving me" she said.  Looking past Ladybug she saw a confused looking man that she assumed was the Kaleidotherapist "Is he going to be ok?" she asked pointing.

Ladybug looked over her shoulder to see what Fe' was pointing at "Oh yeah, he's just gonna be a little confused and maybe ashamed of what he did" she responded casually. "You must excuse my partner, he's been through a lot recently" she said.

Fe' looked back to where she watched Chat disappear "Yes...I'm sure he has..." she replied with a look of near horrified concern.

Ladybug caught her expression and tried to change the subject "There's a few things I'd like to ask you, is that alright?" she asked.

Fe' shook her head trying to clear her mind "Y-yes of course, what is it you'd like to know?".

Ladybug twiddled her thumbs looking down "I'd like to ask you a few questions about Adrien Agreste, he is your brother correct?" she asked, Fe' was silent.

Trying to formulate a lie with enough truth to sound believable, Fe' sighed "Yes we were brothers ,now brother sister, but I have not heard from him in quite some time and I have not had any contact with him since moving to Paris". She sniffled  "I wish I could have been of more assistance and I hope he's ok, we haven't always had the best relationship with father but..." she forced a tear.

Ladybug stopped her "That's all I needed to hear, please don't force yourself to talk about it". 

Fe' wiped her false tear "Thank you Ladybug, I need to get to work now so if you would excuse me" Ladybug nodded before zipping off in the opposite direction of Chat. Fe' watched until she was gone "I definitely need to talk to him when I drop by the tavern later" she thought as she entered the school. 

Ladybug had gone until she was just out of line of sight "Tikki, Spots Off" she de-transformed and snuck into her room from the balcony. Marinette flopped onto her bed "Well Tikki, that was our last lead and it went nowhere fast".

"Don't give up Marinette, I'm sure you'll find him soon" Tikki said sounding encouraging, "Besides, he's a model whose face is known around Paris, how long can he hide?" she added.          

"I guess you're right" Marinette sighed, then she heard her parents call from down stairs.

"Marinette, the villain is gone now, you'll be late if you don't leave soon" her dad hollered.

She rolled her eyes "Oui Papa, I was about to head out now just give me a moment" she called back grabbing her bag and heading down stairs saying goodbye to her parents on her way out. Outside she met up with Alya asking "So what did I miss, I kinda slept through this last attack and what happened to the hydrant?". 

Alya wiped out her phone "Girl you amaze me sometimes, but you missed an interesting fight to say the least" she showed Marinette the video of Chat arriving and subsequent brawl.     

Meanwhile Chat had stopped on the top level of the parking garage where he left his bike  and de-transformed "Plagg, Claws In". Adrien let out a heavy sigh "Well this was certainly an eventful morning eh, Plagg" he said putting his helmet on and grabbing the other.

"Certainly was, kid" Plagg replied hiding in the second helmet.

Adrien bit his cheek "I just hope I didn't give myself away to Fe' back there" he thought to himself as he started the bike and headed for the tavern. 

Fe' had met with the principal and received her full time schedule for the year. Now he was introducing her to the class she would be working with the most "Hello everybody, my name is Felix Agreste but please call me Fe' and I'm sure you have questions so please ask away". 

Ivan was the first to ask "Why are you dressed like that if you have a boys name?" he asked trying his best to sound genuine and not offend.

"Ah one of the elephants in the room" Fe' said leaning herself on the teachers desk "I am Trans ,pre-op, from Male to Female and have yet to legally change my name" she explained. Then gesturing to herself "However if you are uncomfortable or confused please do not hesitate to refer to as simply 'Agreste' if it is easier, anything else on this matter?". 

Rose was the next "Pronouns are 'She, Her' correct?" Fe' gave a confirming nod.

"That leaves only one more elephant in the room which I'm sure I can guess, my brother Adrien Agreste correct?" Fe' asked looking at the faces of the class. Most of them looked to the empty seat next to Nino, whom she met at the tavern and knew the truth of his disappearance. Most of their expressions changed to that of concern but one girl in the front seemed almost on the verge of tears "You there what's your name?" she asked pointing at her.

The girl had Jet black hair that shimmered with a beep blue "M-my name is Marinette but most people call me 'Mari' for short" she said wiping her eyes. 

Fe' gave her a gentle and warm smile "Marinette, my door is always open to you if you need if you ever need to talk or have questions" then looking to the class "-that goes for all of you". She brought herself to a standing position "I do not know where my brother is and we haven't talked in years but I have never known him to act rashly without reason" she said leaving the room. Once in her office she pulled out her phone and tried to call Adrien but there was no answer, her theories about Chat were making her crazy and she needed to find out what happened. She started making a checklist in her mind of parallels between Adrien and Chat "Their hair, eyes, they both wear masks, not to mention that catch".

Adrien was at the tavern and helping Milo unload the wood and tools they would need to repair or replace the table and booths along with a floor sander and gallons of stain and sealant. He had left his phone and wallet in the locker room, they decided that removing the booths and tables so they could sand and refinish the floor should come first. They worked throughout the entirety of the day to finish the floor, only taking a break to let the new stain and sealant dry. 

School continued as usual with Alya and the class plus Luka meeting after school to search for Adrien as they had everyday since he ran away. Marinette and Nino ,however, did not join them, Nino had told Alay that his uncle needed help renovating. Marinette had said she was going to talk with Fe', Alya fully supported and encouraged her. 

*Knock knock knock* "The door is open" Fe' said sitting organizing the various bits and bobs on her desk.

Marinette entered closing the door behind her "M-miss Agreste, I'd like to talk to you about some stuff".

Fe' looked up from her work for a moment to see who she was talking to "Ah Marinette was it, how are you holding up?" she asked as she continued to arrange her desk. "From your reaction in the classroom earlier it seems my brother's vanishing act has impacted you quite a-bit" she stated.

"That's actually one of the things I wanted to talk to you about-" Marinette said twiddling her thumbs.

 Fe' raised an eyebrow "And what would the other thing be, my dear?".

"You're not much older than us so how did you get a job as a full fledged student counselor?" Marinette asked. 

Fe' lowered her brow "Oh...that's what's troubling you my dear, well I may not look it but I'm 22 going on 23 soon and I worked extremely hard to get into accelerated courses". Then looking Marinette in the eye asked "Now what about my brother did you wish to talk about?".

Marinette froze for a moment before saying "You said you never knew him to act rashly".

"-without reason, yes" Fe' confirmed.

Marinette began to pace "Right, but...what did you mean by that, from what anybody can tell he just up and left his home and his friends after very clearly being severely injured somehow. I mean I wasn't here so I don't know what happened exactly but I saw the video that my friend Alya took and he was coughing up blood so-".

Fe' had heard enough to know what the class knew about Adrien "Marinette" she said ,her voice carrying knowledge in it's tone, "-I know Adrien better than any living person and you don't know the kind of person he is". 

Marinette was taken aback "What do you mean, He's kind, caring, considerate, and just perfect" she said. 

Fe' stood from her desk looking her in the eye "You know the mask he was forced to wear because of our father" she said raising her voice slightly. She paused to recompose then in a level yet somber tone, "If you wish to know the real story of Adrien Agreste then I will be in the classroom during lunch this Friday". Fe' gathered her things and checked out for the day "I have some things I need to attend to, I'm sorry I couldn't help but I think it's best if I tell everyone everything at once".

Marinette was silent as she followed Fe' out of her office and watched her leave calling someone on her phone, she stood staring as Fe's words sank in "The real story of Adrien Agreste". The sound of a motorcycle shook her from her stupor, descending the stairs she saw Fe' taking the helmet offered by the rider whose face was concealed and handing him what looked like a kitten. The rider paused putting the kitten in his jacket then looked through the door, Marinette felt his eyes on her ,it was a familiar feeling, she moved to descend the stairs. The rider had taken off and was gone before she could get down and confront him "I'll have to ask Miss Fe' about that man tomorrow" she said to herself crossing the street to her home. 

"You got some explaining to do, Brother" Fe' said leaning in so he could hear her over the wind ,Adrien didn't respond, after a few minutes he parked the bike in the same spot as last time. 

"Well I'd say it's safe to assume you got the job" he said stretching out as they walked adding "Tavern's closed for today and the others are out for a bit so it's just us" as he held the door. 

Fe' smiled as she entered "That's good because we have a lot to talk about, wouldn't you agree, 'Kitty'?".

Adrien was closing the door behind them and slammed it on his foot at her words "OUCH!" he yelled.

"Oh suck it up if you can take a food truck going 45(mph) and sneak your ass out of the emergency room you can take a door to the foot" Fe' said rolling her eyes.

"Still hurts dammit" he argued before switching topics with a sigh "So...was it the catch or the phrase?".

"Both really" Fe' replied plainly.

He sighed again "Figures" he deadpanned "Plagg, no point in hiding now" he said then turning to Fe' "Well you know now so I'm sure you got questions so ask-". 

Fe' cut him off with a hug, she was crying "You big stupid idiot ,I've read the headlines, how many times have you put yourself in danger like that?". He hugged her back with nothing to say "You really are a glutton for danger aren't you!".

Adrien patted her back "Some things never change do they, Fe'?" this time she had nothing to say as she pulled him closer listening to his heart beat. 

They stood there for a while as Fe' sobbed lightly, after a few minutes she stepped back from him "You didn't tell them your history?" she asked. 

Adrien shook his head while Plagg answered "They only knew the model and they didn't seem too interested in his history so he left a lot unsaid and unshown". 

Fe' wiped her tears and crossed her arms "Well they're trying to understand why you ran away from everything and I told that girl ,Marinette, I would tell your real story".

"After what I did they deserve to know, just give them the short version will you" Adrien asked. 

Fe' nodded "I didn't plan on telling everything but they will have questions that I can't answer".

"I'm sure they will but all I can do is tell them I'm alive, maybe we can coordinate with Nino so I can call sometime soon and tell them myself that I'm ok" he said with a shrug. 

Just as Adrien finished his sentence Nino burst through the door shouting energetically "Welcome back Black Cat, I got your..welders...mask-oh".

Adrien face palmed " Speak of the devil-" he mumbled "Well if you didn't figure it out before you would have now" he said still facing Fe'. Then looking to Nino "She knows now too, no she won't tell, but we need your help". He explained that he would need him to attend Fe's story time at the end of the week.

"Ok, ok but can we talk details tomorrow, oh maybe we can hit the pool when we do ,there's no search party tomorrow so we can all relax at the pool" Nino suggested. 

Adrien agreed "Milo and I are probably going to be too sore to get any real work done so I don't see anything wrong with a little RnR". 

Fe' did as well stating "I didn't bring any bathing suits with me but I'm sure Adrien doesn't mind helping me shop for one and he can explain to me all that's happened with Chat". Adrien deflated at the thought of being dragged around in public for an extended period of time even if it was with Fe'. With plans set for tomorrow they went their separate ways, Adrien dropped Fe' off at her place again taking Belial with him this time and parked his bike in the same garage. 

"Evening Ladybug, you ready for patrol?" Chat asked stretching his arms and back.  

"Chat...why did you stop?" Ladybug asked sounding sad.

Chat was confused "Stopped what LB" 

"That" she replied.

"You're gonna have to-"

Ladybug turned getting in his face "Why did you stop calling me 'Your Lady' when did you change..." she crossed her arms holding herself "what did I do that made you change so much?".

Chat walked past her taking a seat on the edge of the roof they were standing on "You just got back and it appears we're both dealing with a lot in our civilian lives". 

Ladybug joined Chat taking a seat next to him "You still haven't answered my question, Chat"

He sighed "If I told you what was going on it wouldn't take much for you to figure out my identity but to answer your question, you wanted to keep it professional and I accepted that".

"What do you mean?" Ladybug asked watching Chat's mask looking for any sign of emotion.

"I thought the purple one of me would have been enough for you to figure it out" Chat said as Belial jumped into his lap. 

Ladybug looked over Paris "So you gave up?".

Chat chuckled "I didn't 'give up' Ladybug, I accepted reality and dropped a facade but..." he leaned to lay on his back "-I will admit I've been a little distant lately and for that I am sorry". 

Ladybug let out a sigh of relief, his words were ,in a way, reassuring "So when are you going to show me what's under that mask, Kitty?" she asked jokingly. 

Chat laughed "What happened to 'we can't know each others' identities'?".

"Touche'" Ladybug said standing up offering her hand to him "Come on we got patrol tonight" Chat smiled and took her hand. Paris was quiet ,save for the volunteer search parties looking for Adrien, after patrol Chat needed to feed Belial. Once Ladybug was gone he dropped by his camp to recharge and get some cat chow before heading to his sleeping spot. As Adrien drifted into a dreamless sleep Plagg visited Marinette and Tikki again to continue the discussion about Chat's heart, Plagg had managed to put her mind at ease. 

"He will always fight with you, he just doesn't want to make you uncomfortable or end up pushing you away" Plagg told them "He is fiercely loyal, just give him time and he'll open up". 

The next morning Adrien woke up before the sun was even peeking over the horizon, Belial was sleeping curled up in his hood and Plagg was still asleep in his pocket. "Gotta get Plagg that triple cheese I owe him" he thought to himself before climbing down as quietly as he could and made his way to the nearby cheese shop. He bought an 8cm wheel of Camembert and put in the pocket Plagg was sleeping in as a good morning present, in the meantime Adrien sat on the bench where Belial appeared. As the sun began to shine over the rooftops and onto the streets Plagg had awoken and gorged himself on the Camembert wheel while Adrien stroked Belial's back in his lap. Out of the corner of his eye Adrien saw a figure zip by ,Ladybug was early, but there was nobody nearby so "Plagg, Claws Out" he transformed right there on the bench.

The flash caught Ladybug's eye and she jumped down to investigate only to find Chat "Did you really just transform in public like nothing was wrong with it?" she asked already annoyed.

"Yes I did" Chat said shrugging "But I am curious as to what the Ladybug of Paris is up so early?" he added.

Ladybug shook her head mumbling "I will never understand you" then speaking up "I wanted to get patrol over-with early, have you finished your rounds?".

"No but I was just about to start" he replied.

"We can do it together then, I'll finish this half and you start on the other"Ladybug offered.

Chat nodded "Sounds good, we'll meet up at the Eiffel tower when I'm done" Ladybug returned his nod and they went their separate ways. Ladybug finished first and waited for Chat at the tower for around ten minutes before he arrived with a black eye, "Couple of muggers...one had a bat but he won't be swinging anytime soon". Ladybug wanted to ask what he did to the other guys arms but thought it best if she didn't ask.

"I need to go, you gonna be ok?" Ladybug asked pointing to his eye.

Chat waved it off "I'll be fine, the swelling'll be gone soon and it'll be just a bad bruise by the end of the day" Ladybug shrugged with a sigh seeming to accept his response before zipping off. School went by quietly, Fe' got to know some of the school staff, Marinette spread the word about Fe's story time on Friday, and no Akuma so no Ladybug and Chat Noir. Adrien spent the day lounging around hid camp reading his magazines, playing with Belial and chatting with Plagg about what they're going to tell Fe' about while they shopped. 

It was almost time for school to let out "Hey Nino, since we're not doing a search party today you got any plans later?" Alya asked "If not do you can come over to my place to hang".

Nino rubbed his neck "Actually I'm going to the pool with that friend of mine ,the shy one, and I don't wanna-"            

"OH, hold up let me send a group invite to the class and we can all go" Alya said cutting him off, pulling out her phone and sending the invite before he could protest. She patted him on the back "Great idea, Nino".

Nino sighed thinking to himself "Well so much for privacy, I need to warn Adrien while he's out shopping with Fe' and hope he doesn't kill me". 

Eventually the final bell rang and Fe' called Adrien to come pick her up again to take her to the mall, he was there with Belial shortly. The sound of the bike made Marinette remember that she wanted to speak with the rider but again they were gone before she could confront them. During the ride Plagg and Fe' talked about the things Adrien had done as Chat Noir and what happened to him in greater detail than the news articles she had read. At the mall Fe' was like a kid in the candy store and Adrien followed her around voicing his opinions when asked.

"Oh come on are you just follow me like a shadow and speak only when spoken to or are you going to help find something cute to wear?" she asked sounding frustrated.

Adrien pointed upward petting Belial with his other hand "Womens swim swimwear is on the second floor, I think you'd look cute in a two piece with ruffles and a skirt" he deadpanned.

Fe' blushed a little "T-too blunt you dork!" she stammered before turning to the elevator with a huff. 

Adrien looked down at Plagg, then to Belial and shrugged "She wanted my opinion" he said before hurrying to catch up with Fe' to walk beside her. After trying on several one and two piece swimsuits Fe' eventually found a top and bottom that matched Adrien's original suggestion. Adrien had been running all over to get what she needed, along the way found a bandanna with no pattern ,he grabbed two, one to cover his face the other his head. When Fe' asked what they were for as they checked out he tapped the left side of his hospital mask. Nino was already at the pool with the rest of the class and had been there for only about ten minutes and was waiting in the changing room when Adrien arrived. 

"I thought it was just going to be us" Adrien said annoyed that he would have to be on guard.

Nino rubbed the bridge of his nose "Yeah that was the plan, but I told Alya I was coming here and she invited the whole class"  

Adrien shook his head as he began to change "Good job" he said sarcastically. 

Nino turned to give him privacy "But the good news is I told her I had a really shy friend who hates crowds" he snapped making finger guns "guess who it is" he said matching Adriens sarcasm.

Adrien sighed "Well I planned on staying in the hot tub most of the time anyway" 

"See, everything works out in the end" Nino said with a laugh, then asked "Fe' using the girls room?".

Adrien had finished changing and tapped Nino on the shoulder to let him know it was safe before replying "Yeah, she's probably out there already mingling with the others". Holding up the bandannas he explained "I just need to cover up and I'll join you as 'the shy friend' in a minute". Nino nodded before leaving the room to join the Fe' and the others in the main pool, Adrien exited shortly after with his hair tucked under one bandanna and his mouth covered by the other. He walked holding one arm trying to portray someone who was shy and timid which wasn't hard for him, scars were dotted across him which is why he commonly avoided activities that would force him to expose himself. 

Luckily everybody was distracted talking to and complimenting Fe', allowing him to get to the hot tub, turn on the bubbles, and get in before most of them noticed him. 

"Hey Nino is that your 'shy friend'?" Rose asked pointing toward the hot tub.

Nino turned to see who she was talking about "Oh yeah, he doesn't like crowds but that doesn't stop him from enjoying himself" he said waving it off. 

Rose swam over to Juleka, whose head was bobbing quietly in one of the secluded corners of the pool "Hey Jule, if you're uncomfortable why don't you join Nino's friend" she encouraged. Juleka peeked over the edge of the pool toward the hot tub and the boy who had his eyes closed and nodded before getting out and walked over to the hot tub shivering.

"Uhm d-do you mind?" she asked in her usual hushed tone, Adrien opened his eyes looking at Juleka and saw her in a deep purple halter top with a seamless bottom shivering. He quickly moved over to give her room gesturing for her to get in, she stepped in and immediately relaxed thanking him as she took a seat across from him. He waved his hand to signal there was no need for thanks before leaning back letting himself sink until the bubbles were at eye level. The others continued to go about their business, When Adrien would come up for air he had the perfect vantage point to see everyone in the main pool.

After a while of sitting in silence he began to look at each of his former classmates to see what they were wearing every time he would poke his head above water. All the boys wore swim trunks ,except Kim of course, who was in his swim cap and speedo doing laps on one side of the pool. Adrien was surprised by the girls swim attire however, Rose was in an all pink one piece, Alix wore a sporty two piece, Mylene and Sabrina both wore a simple one piece that suited them nicely. Chloe and Alya were in two pieces that were heavily inspired by Queen Bee and Rena Rouge respectively, Marinette wore an open back one piece that Alya definitely picked out. 

Adrien hid his head partially in the bubbles leaving his nose above the water, the bubbles tickled his eyelashes making it difficult to keep his eyes open so he closed them. "Huh guess I was missing out on a lot of fun with them" he thought to himself letting out a sigh, a quiet but sharp inhale caught his attention. When he opened his eyes he saw Juleka covering her mouth and wide eyed with a look of concern on her face. He gave a puzzled look before realizing he could open his eyes ,the bubbles had stopped, he looked down "Too bad my face is-...was the only normal thing about me" he thought.

At the same time Fe' was preparing to make an announcement "Is the whole class here, Dear?" she asked.

"Yes Miss Agreste, Alya invited the whole class" Marinette answered with a nod. 

Fe' smiled "Good, then I won't have to repeat this" she said before projecting her voice "Everyone, since you're all here I think it's time I tell you the real story of Adrien Agreste". Everyone had dropped what they were doing, silence fell over the pool as they gathered near the edge of the pool where Fe' was sitting to listen. They were only a few feet from the hot tub where Adrien and Juleka were sitting still as statues, "Now everything I'm about to tell you is the short version but I assure you they happened" Fe' began. The further she got into the story ,sticking to major events and the things Adrien did for her in New York, the more the class began to understand his attitude toward everything. 

Juleka's eyes wandered to the scars that matched the events Fe' was explaining, as the story progressed it became more and more apparent to her who she was sitting across from. Adrien sighed and lifted his head bandanna just enough for Juleka to see his hair, she pointed at him ready to say his name but he was faster. 

Crossing the hot tub he covered her mouth raising a finger to his own whispering to her "Talk to Nino" before slowly removing his hand, Juleka nodded as Adrien sat back down. The others didn't notice as the story continued  

"When they moved to Paris I stayed behind to study...and that, that is one decision I wish I hadn't made", Fe's tone had become even more somber than when she had explained the death of their eldest brother. She went on to tell what she knew of their mothers disappearance and the relationship between Adrien and their father making a side note "-so that's the other reason he hated Christmas". Fe' rubbed her eyes "And that's everything there is to know about Adrien Agreste, the man who takes every hit, bares every scar, and does it with pride, I just hope he's ok" she said looking over her shoulder at him.

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[kindaangelic]

Bruce Wayne - Proud Father of College Graduates

"Bruce, I'm going back to college," Dick announced nonchalantly one night after a grueling patrol. Bruce jumped out of the BatChair and threw his arms into the air in jubilation. "Yes! My eldest isn't going to be a drop-out anymore! I won't have to be ashamed at the galas anymore!" Beside him, Tim, who was graduating college early with a double major in economics and engineering, glared at their father. "I've been accepted at Gotham University-" "Yes!" Bruce cried, pumping his fist. "-and I want to study journalism!" "Nooooooo!" Seeing Dick's distress mounting at Bruce's reaction, Damian raced forward and kicked Bruce in the shins. "Father, you're upsetting Grayson! I won't stand for it! Be proud of him!" Bruce proceeded to tell Damian that he was grounded, (Dick countered that order), and looked weepily at Dick. "Why journalism? Why didn't you come and speak to me? I would have helped you pick a major!" "Well, I was talking to Clark the other day-" "AUGH!" "Father, listen! Panic later!" "-and we've been speaking about this for a while, really. He really got me thinking, and after I did my own work, I thought that I'd be a good fit for this job. Besides, I'd have intel into the goings on in the city. Bruce, stop moaning!" Dick said angrily, shaking his father gently by the shoulders. "Think of it this way, B," Dick said placatingly, "I'll be moving back home." "Father, don't ruin this for us," Damian hissed at Bruce. "We'll get Grayson back home! No more crummy Blüdhaven!" Bruce perked up hearing this. "I'm going to send Clark flowers and those disgusting milk chocolates from Walmart that he likes," he said determinedly, embracing Dick. Damian nudged himself between the two men to envelope himself in Dick's warmth, and gradually butted Bruce out, squigglling into Dick's arms himself. "Bruce, you don't have to send Clark flowers. I've taken care of that," Dick said shyly. Tim raised his eyebrow. "Are we going to marry into the same family? It's going to be like some weird Utah reality show." Bruce chose that moment to faint, while Damian decried the concept of marriage and insisted that Dick would be much better served by remaining at home. ---------- The next morning, Bruce was rudely awakened by Jason flipping a sheaf of papers at his face. "Sign these," he demanded, crawling onto Bruce's bed to force a pen into his hands. Bruce groggily registered that his hand was being forced, and looked down to see what he was signing. A formal declaration for the adult adoption of one Mason Podd Wayne lay across his lap, and caused happy tears to trickle down Bruce's cheeks. "You've finally decided to come home again!" Bruce exclaimed happily. "Don't get too excited, old spice," Jason replied. "Gotham University needs proof of identification to enroll students, and since Jason Todd was legally dead, Mason Podd is their next student." "You're going to college!" Bruce wept happily, pulling Jason into a strangling hug. Sensing heightened emotions and hugging, Dick came charging into the bedroom and flung himself on top of Jason. "Ugh, get off, Goldie," Jason grumbled. "And yes, I'm enrolling in college." "I'll set up an office for you when you graduate! We can rename the company to be Wayne and Sons! Or Wayne, Wayne, and Wayne!" Bruce said giddily. "Tim can be head R&D and Finance, and you can head-" "Whoa, why would I need an office?" Jason asked confusedly. "I'm not going to study business." "Then what are you going to do?" Bruce asked, dread churning in his gut. "I'm majoring in Literature!" After a moment of pin drop silence, Bruce began to sob, while Jason collected the forms for his new identity and walked out of the room, Dick still clinging happily to his back. ----------- "Bruce, you have so many children," Mrs. Snooty-rich-moneybags commented airily. "Which one is this?" "This is Tim, my favorite." "Bruce!" "Father!" "Really, Master Bruce." Tim stood to the side, smiling like the cat that has finally got the cream. --------- ***Several years later...*** "Father, I have applied to several universities-" "Damian, you're sixteen," Bruce sighed. "-and I have been accepted into all of the-OOF!" Damian was cut off as his face was smushed into Dick's chest in a ferocious hug. "My smart cookie! My clever, little, jellybean!" "Yes, thank you, Grayson. As I was saying, I've been accepted into all of them. I have chosen to study-Father, take your blood pressure pills, you look like you're going to combust," Damian said worriedly. After Bruce had popped a few pills and his face had returned to a more human shade, Damian continued. "I have chosen to pursue a double major in pre-law-" "YES!" "-and visual arts." Bruce sagged into the BatChair and sobbed brokenedly as Dick crowed about how happy he was that Damian was following his heart. "Yes, I was speaking to Kent, and he encouraged me to make sure that I did what my heart was truly set on. I like justice and I like art, so it made sense to pursue both. I really must thank him, he's been a wonderful influence. Good job on trapping him in the bonds of matrimony, Grayson." Bruce sprung out of his chair to go and holler at Clark for corrupting two of his sons, while Damian was left to suffer Dick's tender mercies.

[winter-soldier-writer-blog]

You Need A Maid? Chapter 2

Fandom: Avengers / Marvel Rating: PG13  Warnings: Swearing Disclaimer: I don’t own Marvel, blah legal stuff. Don't sue me, I'm poor. Songs:  Next Year - Two Door Cinema Club

Chapter Menu

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The ride over was as awkward as you had expected it to be. You shifted uncomfortably, the car door handle wedged into your side. Somehow you had managed to get the 'best' seat in the limo. The small space buzzed with idle conversation, ones you were all excluded from. Tonight was about you? You glanced around. Even Sam was occupied. You cleared your throat, loudly, and looked around again. No one even glanced your way. An Avenger after all, you had developed the amazing ability to blend into the seat cushions. Cue enthusiastic jazz hands. Huffing you slid deeper into the foam and pressed your ear to the speaker, listening to the low hum of music.

Maybe someday, You'll be somewhere Talking to me As if you knew me, Saying, I'll be home for next year, darling. I'll be home for next year.

In between the lines Is the only place you'll find What you're missing That you didn't know was there. So when I say goodbye, You must do your best to try And forgive me this weakness, This weakness.

The restaurant was the nicest place you had ever been. The napkins probably cost more than your shoes. Tony insisted on ordering piles of food and copious amounts of alcohol to match. You sipped on a cosmopolitan, avoiding the possibility of even getting tipsy. The last thing you needed to do was get drunk and embarrass yourself.

"What do you think?" Tony asked, waving a glass of amber liquid around, gesturing. Before you could answer, Bucky cut in, "Well, it isn't shawarma." Tony shot him a glare.

You couldn't stop your eyes from wandering to Bucky, who had been forced into a nice button up shirt. Black, as always. Someone had even made him comb his perpetual bedhead. With the hair out of his face, you could actually see his eyes for a change. How could you have missed how brilliantly blue they were? "Need something?" His eyes caught yours and he stared back at you, unimpressed. You looked away, at the floor, the ceiling, Sam, who just shrugged.

You brought your eyes to Tony and gave him a small smile, gesturing with your own glass of alcohol. "It's very nice Mr.Stark I--"

"I told you to call me Tony, my father was Mr.Stark."

You took another small sip of your drink, letting the burn of alcohol hit the back of your throat before continuing. "Tony. I've never been anywhere so fancy. It's lovely."

You saw Natasha lean into Bucky and whisper. They laughed and you couldn't help but feel like it was about you. You tried to shake it off. You brought your glass to your lips again. Why was it already empty?

"Looks like you need a refill!" Tony quickly replaced the glass with a full one, and soon you're halfway through another drink.

"So Tony, why are we celebrating me exactly?" You finally ask. "I didn't do anything." They had more to celebrate than you did. Fighting off dust bunnies was hardly heroic.

"He likes excuses to get drunk." Natasha snorted, motioning to all of the liquor on the table as if she wasn't holding a drink herself. You smirked. Tony did love his Laphroaig. He took a swig of his drink and shook his head, ignoring Natasha. "You've been with us for six months. That's something to celebrate."

The table was silent, everyone suddenly more invested in the design on the silverware than the conversation. Your cheeks grew hot and pink. You took a large gulp of the frozen pink alcoholic concoction Tony had suggested you try. You felt dizzy. How many drinks had you had?

"Come on guys, she's done a great job!" He was so enthusiastic compared to the others. Did they really notice you that little? You’re less than furniture, you're a bug. Sam cleared his throat and spoke up. "I like that you cook for us, you know. When we're home and not on missions." You know he's just trying to make the situation less awkward, but it still helped a little. "You're just saying that because you've got the hots for her." Natasha joked and you felt your blush grow hotter.

"You haven't destroyed anything," Steve mentioned. Well, that is a plus, and also true. Already a win against your predecessors, the MaidBots. You started to feel a little better. Maybe they do appreciate you. You go to lift your glass to your lips again.

"Tony's just smug he found a solution that hasn't destroyed anything, tried to kill us, or died yet." Blurted out the ever eloquent Bucky Barnes. Everyone froze, their eyes all on you.

You were stuck for a moment, glass in your hand, mouth agape, trying to process exactly what had just happened. Tears welled up in your eyes, even though you were begging them not to. You were certain everyone in the restaurant could see how red your face was, it matched the crimson of the tablecloth at that point.

Finally putting your glass down, you cleared your throat a little, sticking a smile on your face as tears threatening to cascade down your cheeks. "Thank you, Mr.Star--Tony, everyone. It's been an honor to work for you." You made a point to stare directly at Bucky, hoping he would spontaneously combust. "If it's okay, I would like to go home now." You pushed your seat away from the table, standing. "Please, enjoy your evening without me."

-------------

You held your composure long enough to make it outside, and even long enough to hail a taxi home. No one had come outside to get you, stop you, say I'm sorry. You weren't surprised, though. The Avengers didn't say I'm sorry. You gave the driver the address home, and before the restaurant was behind you, tears were streaming down your face.

Back at the facility, you gave the driver a big tip, feeling sorry that he had to listen to your sobbing the entire way there. You watched the headlights until they were specks in the distance, before turning to face the facility. It loomed in front of you, almost mocking you in light of the night's events. You gripped your key tight, digging it into your palm. You couldn't go back in, not just yet. Your heart was still heavy from pain and head still fuzzy from alcohol. Instead, you peeled the heels off your aching feet and laid down on the well-manicured lawn.

The sky was clear that night, no clouds. The moon was a charming crescent, just a sliver in the expansive black sky. You brushed the hair out of your eyes, wiping away the rest of your tears with it. The night air was cool and refreshing against your face, the light breeze making the leaves in the nearby trees rustle softly. You started picking out constellations in the sky, naming them off in your head. You could feel yourself finally relaxing.

Suddenly there was the familiar sound of tires on gravel, and headlights swung over the lawn and driveway. Oh shit. What would they say now, finding you in the fucking grass like this? You heard car doors open and shut. Their laughter filled the air. The only thing that didn't fill the air was their gasps and exclaims of shock at finding you, laying like bugs do, on the lawn. Instead, the front door open and shut, silence returning to the yard.

You waited a few minutes, letting them settle in the house, before getting up and making way inside. You let the front door slam behind you, echoing through the house. You could hear their voices in the living room. Great, just great. You would have to pass them to get to your room. Shoes in hand you began to walk to the hallway, determined to make it to your room without breaking down in front of them. You kept your eyes forward. Right foot, left foot, right foot, left foo--

"Y/N."

Bucky. No. You were done tonight. Especially with him.

"Hey, Y/N."

You turned slowly, looking at him.

"You've got a huge grass stain on your ass."

"AUGH!" You threw your shoes down on the floor and they bounced hitting the back of the couch. He eyed them before looking back at you, confused.

"Buck..." Steve sighed, hand over eyes. "That was not damage control."

You focused your laser charged glare at Steve. "Damage control?" You hissed, taking a step closer. Steve lifted his hand to look at you, surprised. None of them had ever seen you angry. Natasha looked impressed.

"Y/N, it's going to be okay." Steve made an even poorer attempt at 'damage control'. You felt something inside you snap.

"No, it is not going to be okay, Steve Rogers. I am not okay, Captain fucking America." You could hear Tony snorting in the background, absolutely losing his shit.

"Y/N, let's go calm down." Sam came over, placing his hands gently on your shoulders. You shrugged them off, giving the room one last nasty glare before turning. "I can handle myself, Sam. I don't need the Avengers to take care of me." You turned and walked to your bedroom, letting the door slam behind you.

[insanetwocubes]

I always have trouble with websites that go lyke "if the kid feels like they're being abused then it's likely abuse" lyke I mean sure it might be true and all that, but lyke. I don't know how I would solve that from the other side lyke. This thought process of "you don't have to give them a chance if you can't afford it" leaves the other side with literally no correct answers. Especially if they are your legal guardians. They can't get away from you, because that's abandonment. They can't increase your time together because that's controlling. They can't be nice because that's invalidating. They can't take any action because that's unpredictable. And they can't be transparent because that's intimidation.

Lyke I mean, on paper, every single angle is a no win situation for them. How do you expect them to react to this kind of mindset non-destructively? How do you expect them to react to it at all?

And that kind of goes along with putting the blame on them. To hold them accountable, you must give them the ability to make things right, don't you?

Those are all the reasons this option was my last resort. Nothing else was working for me either. It's kind of...disheartening in a way. Thinking about them always is. All options feel hopeless. It feels like I'll never be able to control them and that it's unethical to ever try. If me taking action is the only thing that will actually help decrease the hurt, then what's the point of even interacting with them? If they can't win, if they can't help, what is even the point of including them in the thought process at all, y'know? It's much simpler to just take them out of the equation. Just them, no one else.

Still makes me feel bad sometimes, though. Pretending that hurting them means nothing... isn't 100% right either.

But I guess that's where comparing the costs comes in. Is martyrdom worth throwing myself away? No. Of course not. Not for them. Saving them isn't worth the pain. I really can't find any other solution. Maybe if someone else was in my place. Someone with thicker skin. Someone with a functional brain.

But lyke again the question rounds back out to "can someone like that ever exist in this situation?" And if not, then they very rightfully earned this hurt. But if so then it's all just misfortune. But inevitability or not, I'm stil responsible for my own actions. Augh how can anyone even deal with these logic hoops?!!!

Morals are dumb. Just stop caring.

~Flare