#lemme check my catalog

[the-californicationist]

The Window (4 of 7)

Ch 01 // Ch 02 // Ch 03 // Ch 04 // Ch 05 --- AO3 Link

Seeing him again had been a shock. They’d arrived late — not that you were checking on their flight or anything — and they were all a bit worse for wear. Usually, after any mission, good or bad, the flight home was cathartic. Everyone could breathe easy. They were going home to good food and infinite WiFi. It was cause for celebration, no matter how beaten and bruised they felt. But, this time was different.

Price was walking through the hangar while you were cataloging ammunition shipments, lowly desk work while your leg healed up, and he looked so small. Well, he still towered over all of the other soldiers in the bay - except for Ghost - but he just looked so pale and listless. His eyes were dull, staring at the ground, watching his feet take their steps, aimlessly driven to his next destination. 

Ghost followed him, equally distracted. His mask was off, and you could see his eye-black smeared all the way down to his mouth, like he’d been rubbing his face, fretting. Gaz had looked furious. He was tossing their gear like it had personally offended him, and he railed into one of the trainees for getting in his way. His warm brown eyes had turned cold and harsh, unfeeling. 

Soap was the worst. He jumped from the chopper and immediately started to scan the room, looking for you. He pulled one of the mechanics aside and you heard him asking for you by name, and as the man pointed in your direction, you hid behind the crates. Undeterred, he headed your way, so you crawled into the dark space between where he wouldn’t find you. He searched and searched, pushing aside heavy boxes and truck wheels, hunting for you. He became frantic, pacing back and forth, until Price called his name. His eyes lingered on the darkness where you were hidden, looking but not seeing. Then, glassy-eyed, he retreated, his gaze turning from desperation to unbridled frustration. 

It was when you’d been trying to sneak back to the barracks that Price had found you, chasing you through the base. You weren’t running, per se, but you were moving quick enough, and you had quite the head start. He, however, was sprinting, pushing people out of his way, calling after you. When he saw the look on your face, he knew he was in trouble. 

“Get back here, Sparrow! That’s an order,” he shouted down the hall. 

You turned around to face him, throwing up your hands in an exaggerated shrug,

“You’re not my CO, sir.”

“Spar — Get out of the bloody way!” He shoved a trainee into the wall, pushing past him in an attempt to follow you to your room. 

Price was panting, his chest heaving as he grabbed for you, his hands sinking into your soft flesh. You wrenched your body away from him and blocked him from coming into your room. He furrowed his brow and said,

“It’s Sunday. It’s my day.”

“I’m already pregnant. Your services are no longer needed,” you spat, “Much like mine, apparently.”

You tried to shut the door on him, but he blocked it with his huge shoulders, looking at you with a ravenous hunger in his eyes,

“I just got back from the fuckin’ sandbox. We can fight later, but I need you, little bird. Please.”

“And I need you to go fuck yourself… sir.” You slammed the door so hard that you thought you broke the hinges. 

You listened to the handle jiggle in the lock from Price’s audacity. Then, silence. 

Why was it the silence that hurt the worst?

Soap was at your door that night, banging on it, shaking the frame,

“Bonnie! I ken you’re in there. Lemme in. I jus’ wanna talk to you. Bonnie?”

Silence again, and then there was a slow, wiping sound against the door, like a big palm being slid down it. 

“Sparrow? Please.” His voice was so strange. It seemed small. Usually, Soap was the loudest, the most boisterous. And now, he sounded ill. 

You listened at the door, hurt and angry, but missing your men. Hearing Johnny beg was almost enough to make you unlock it. Almost.

Over the next week, they all tried to get back in your good graces. Gaz brought you flowers no matter where you were. He covered your desk with them, and you kept throwing them out or giving them away. He left them outside your door, sitting in the hall, complete with little handwritten cards: 

I’m so sorry, baby. Please text me? - G.

Come to the main hall? We just need to talk. - G.

You ripped his notes up and tossed them in the trashcan irreverently. 

Johnny had been a little less subtle. At the end of a long day, he’d be waiting outside your door, sometimes alone, sometimes with the others, trying to get you to listen to him, 

“C’mon, bonnie. Dinnae shut us out. Please, lass.”

You had become an expert at the cold shoulder. 

Ghost, fitting with his quiet demeanor, wouldn’t beg. In fact, he wouldn’t say a word. But, he followed you everywhere, haunting your office, stalking you at the gym, sitting at your table during briefings. One time, he cornered you in the elevator, riding with you past his own floor, his eyes burning into your skin. 

And then there was Price. Other than his presentations during mission briefings, you hadn’t heard his voice since that very first day. But, he was always around. His smoke gave him away. Your room reeked of his tobacco, and when you were working, you’d smell it in the air. But, when you’d look up to spot him, he was nowhere to be found. 

That didn’t mean he failed to reach out to you. He was always on your phone. He called you every morning when he woke up, and he called again every night when you went to bed. You never picked up, but as you lay in bed watching his smiling face pop up on your home screen again, this time, you did.

You didn’t say hello. You just waited to hear what he had to say. You needed to hear him again. Anything. Just a hello. 

“Sparrow, it was me. It wasn’t them. You have to forgive them. I was the one who —”

You hung up the phone and cried into your pillow hard enough to make yourself sick. 

After that night, things got so much worse. Your emotions were raw, and everything made you terribly sad. Your body was in desperate need of someone to care for it, and your hormones were going absolutely haywire. You were either nauseated or horny, and there was no warning which would hit at any given moment. 

You found yourself sneaking out of work early, hiding in the shower, furiously coming on your hand over and over, thinking - wishing - that it was Soap's or Gaz's mouth instead. When you lay in bed at night, you desperately ground your hips into your dildo, riding it like you wanted to ride John and his men, wanton and soaking your sheets.

Eventually, you had reached your limit, and you met Soap, Gaz, and Ghost in the mess hall. They were all sufficiently apologetic, and they were curious as to what had changed your mind.

“Dinnae get me wrong, lass. It’s been hard without you, and I’m not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but… why are you forgivin’ us?”

“Price told me what he did. He said it wasn’t your decision to take me off the team.”

“That’s not true,” Ghost refuted, earning himself a swift nudge from Soap and a glare from Gaz. 

“Shut up, mate. Do y’know how long it’s been since —” Gaz hissed, but Ghost interrupted him.

“The captain was the one who fought to keep you on the task force. He was out-voted.”

“Out-voted? There’s only four of you. Should’ve been at draw…” you observed.

“Exactly. We all voted against him. You’ve no bloody business on the field right now, and you know it. You can barely sit here with us for ten goddamn minutes before you’re sprintin’ off to wretch in whatever can’s the closest.”

You averted your eyes from him, trying to process what he was saying, and feeling the sting of shame when you had to admit that he was right. This first trimester had been an absolute nightmare. You were a sweaty, puking mess here in the offices, and you shuddered to think of feeling this way out in the Urzikstani sands, getting shot at, eating nothing but MREs and instant decaf coffee. 

“We just wanted the best for you, birdie,” Gaz reached out for your hand and held it in his, “We know how badly you want this baby, and we…” He looked at the others for a moment and said, “And we’ve fallen in love with you, Sparrow. We can’t lose you. Let us take care of you.”

You were so tired, and you needed to release the tension you’d been holding inside of your chest, so you relented. 

They followed you back to your room and sat you on the bed, kissing you so deeply that you could feel their hunger. They’d been waiting for you. 

All of them were dripping with precome, and you watched as it stained the thick canvas fabric of their pants, making you wonder if they’d even touched themselves in the time they were apart from you. 

They began to strip themselves and you, kissing every bit of your skin, leaving purple marks from their aggressive desire. Gaz held your hand to his crotch and rubbed it across the front, making you feel his hardening rod, encouraging you to stroke him. Johnny was busying himself with your pants, aching to put his mouth on your molten core, and just the thought of his tongue was enough to make you shiver. 

Ghost bent to suck at your nipples, peeling your shirt and bra off in one go, and you held his head, cradling him with as much affection as you could muster, but as you looked up at you, he knew there was something wrong. 

“Hey, stop.”

The others, as if burned, immediately stopped their worship of your body and looked up at you. 

Ghost continued to pry,

“What is it, love?”

“I just…” You could feel yourself start to cry. 

“You miss him, don’t you?”

The realization hit you like a ton of bricks. You may have forgiven Simon, Johnny, and Kyle, but you missed John. You needed him there. Without him, even their kisses felt hollow. 

“We’ll bring him back to you, dinnae fash, hen,” Soap reassured you, throwing on his shirt. 

“C’mon, he’s in the gym. I saw him with his bag,” Ghost followed Soap out of your door, hard as a stone and trying to adjust himself to something a little less indecent. 

Gaz kissed your lips, his full mouth warm and tasting of cinnamon sugar,

“Be right back, pretty girl.”

You waited five minutes, then ten. You decided to lay down, just for a moment, and before you knew it, you were out. 

You weren’t sure how long you slept, but you woke up in someone’s arms, opening your eyes and watching as he lay you in the big, combined bed the five of you shared. You turned to see his face when you felt him crawl into the sheets beside you, blinking the sleep away and trying to catch your bearings. 

“John?” You croaked, struggling to find your voice. 

“Shh,” he whispered, “Go back to sleep, little bird.”

“They told me…”

“I know. They bloody well shouldn’t have. You need them. You’re both going to need them.”

“I can’t be mad anymore, John. I’m so tired. I just want you all back. Please,” you clutched at his chest, drawing him closer to you in the small bed, “Don’t leave me again.”

“I’m not goin’ anywhere, Sparrow. Here. Feel?”

John’s huge cock was half-hard, and he fit it inside you, slipping it into your wet pussy, squeezing himself through you, just as he loved to do, letting you warm him up. The shock of it went right to your head, and you gasped, hiding your face in the fur of his chest, letting his arms wrap around you protectively. 

“I’ll stay right here, birdie. As long as you want me to.”

“Aye,” Soap’s voice spoke up in the darkness, deep and low, “We all will. Tha’s a promise, lass.”

One by one, each of your men came back into the bed, laying their heavy arms over you and each other, bodies and limbs tangled and gripping at whatever flesh they could find. 

You felt Ghost’s hand slide over your hip, resting his hand on your belly protectively. Gaz leaned over Price to kiss you before settling his arm over the captain’s ribs, his arm cradling your arm as you cuddled with John. Soap’s feet were wrapped around yours, keeping them warm. 

As he hardened inside of you, John kissed your forehead softly. 

“I love you.”

“I love you, too, John.”

A part of you was still upset at how heavy-handed they had been with your independence, but you felt your smooth muscles fluttering against John’s cock, and it was getting harder and harder to hold onto the anger that you so desperately wanted to let go of. 

As they all settled in to sleep, you decided to try and rekindle the bond that had been broken. You rocked your hips forward, sliding your slick body up and down Price’s fat length. His eyes shot open, burning into you with a dark passion.

“Little bird?”

Your lips found his neck, trailing wet kisses up to his earlobe, taking it in your mouth and suckling at his skin. 

“Not tired, love?” Simon asked, planting his own kisses on your shoulder blades, coaxing your hips to rock back and forth, chasing your high. 

“You need us, innit tha’ right, lass?” Johnny’s fingers reached over your hip, following Simon’s and then trailed down, finding your swollen clit and rubbing slow, tight circles around it, making you soften around Price like an opening bud, petting your petals until you practically unfurled for him. 

“Ungh, Garrick. What are you… “ Price growled through gritted teeth. 

You watched as Kyle licked his hand and tucked it behind John’s back, heading for his tight asshole, fucking him gently on his fingers. 

“Keep fucking our girl, Cap. She needs you,” Kyle told him, “I’ll take care of you, sir.”

“I’m not as patient as the sergeant is, lover,” Simon rustled under the sheets to find his cock, and he held it in his fist, pumping it against your plump ass cheek, “Will you let me in?”

You turned over your shoulder and let him kiss you, feeling his soft lips slide against yours, giving him your tongue to suck on as his hands kneaded your sensitive breast. 

“Yes, Si,” you whispered, “Anything you want.”

You thought his reaction to your words was a little over the top, but Ghost was reacting to Soap, ducked below the sheets, eating his asshole, shoving his tongue deep in the tight opening, prepping him for more. 

Simon tucked his cock between your legs, spitting on his hand and rubbing it on you and himself, lubing you up in a messy, frantic sort of way, too desperate to care about finding a bottle of gel somewhere in the room. 

Johnny was already rutting into his lieutenant, making Simon’s cock leak and jump, excited and drooling for its own warm hole. When you felt his head touch your asshole, you sighed at the tingling electricity building there, eager to be stretched by him. Finally, he popped into your ass, and he began to fuck himself up into you, inch by inch, filling you up. 

Price was grinding his fat dick inside of you, and he groaned when he felt Simon join him on the other side, making you even tighter, forcing the captain to struggle to fit. 

Soon, all five of you were fucking each other at the same time, moaning and kissing and licking one another’s skin, twisted together in a wet mess, and you had never felt such pleasure before. It was as if you were all on the edge, ready to come at the faintest breath of an orgasm, waiting for the spark to ignite the whole room into an explosion of ecstacy. 

“Mmf-fuck!” Simon’s hand wrapped itself around your neck, “Your fuckin’ arsehole feels like heaven, love.”

“Dinnae stop, Si. I can feel when you bottom out in her. Makes you so tight, mate,” Johnny begged him, pinching the lieutenant’s nipples between his fingers over and over, teasing him relentlessly. 

“You alright, little bird?” John asked you, kissing you softly, barely dragging his lips across yours, dreamily moving against you harder and harder, chasing his pleasure, “Fuckin’ Garrick is takin’ away my stamina every time he rams into me like that. Gonna make me come too quick, Gaz.”

“Sorry, sir,” Kyle smiled, giving you a wink, as he licked and nipped at the same earlobe that you had, remembering how much he loved that spot, “Feels too good to stop.”

“Don’t stop,” you moaned, wrapping your hands around John’s shoulders, holding on for dear life, “Don’t ever stop.”

While you wait for the next chapter, please consider checking out my other work. Thank you!

[jewwyfeesh]

3rd anni enstars IF story -- story 1

Writer: @ inlandeempire

Translated by: jewwyfeesh

Characters: Kiryuu Kuro, Kagehira Mika, Hakaze Kaoru, Oogami Koga

Theme: "If they're to pick out flowers for someone…"

Disclaimer: this was performed as part of the enstars IF section during the CN 3rd Anniversary stream (37:16 - 40:57). the stories are submitted by fans and two were picked out to be performed live.

translated from CN subs with reference to the script that they posted on screen.

this is story 1 of 2.

Kuro: Is Kagehira workin’ here? It’s pretty hard work.

Mika: ‘Tis not for monetary reasons, but rather ‘cause I’m stuck tryna think up some ideas for a performance… Notta mention, the store owner’s taken care of me before… So I’d thought that maybe takin’ care’of the store might change my mood ‘round.

Koga: Mm, this method’s pretty effective. When I hit a mental block, I’d bring Leon out for a run. A change of scenery really does call forth new ideas.

Mika: Kiryuu-senpai, are’ya here to buy flowers?

Kuro: Mhm, my lil sister’s birthday’s comin’ up soon, and I don’t really know what a girl of her age would like as a gift… Even if I were’ta sew her some clothes, I’m likely to be shunned. Maybe a cute flower bouquet would be to her likin’? Or… would it be more fashionable to pick a potted plant instead?

Kaoru: Yaho~

Mika: Today’s customers are all familiar faces I see.

Kaoru: Sorry, I accidentally overheard your conversation, and couldn’t resist butting in.

Kuro: Hakaze, do ya have any recommendations?

Kaoru: What about making accessories out of preserved flowers? It seems to be the in-thing these days.

Mika: Mm, this particular store’s able ta help preserve the flowers chosen by the customers!

Kaoru: Not to mention, Kiryu-kun would definitely want to gift his sister something that he made with his own two hands, no? Preserving your carefully selected flower, before turning it into an accessory… it’s way more meaningful than any regular flower bouquet out there~ ♪

Kuro: That ain’t a bad idea… I’ll think it over…

Koga: Aa—ACHOO…!

Kaoru: Koga-kun’s wearing a mask in a flower shop and he’s still unable to avoid sneezing altogether… Poor thing…

Mika: Uwaaaah… I forgor that there’s another customer! Oogami-kun, are ya here to buy some flowers too? Yer can tell me what’cha want!

Koga: Mm, I’d like’ta reserve one of those flower baskets[1] congratulatin’ a successful performance, and have it delivered to the nearby Livehouse next week. Is that possible?

Mika: Lemme write that down… Is the flower delivery address the same Livehouse that Hakaze-senpai used’ta manage?

Kaoru: Well, someone else has replaced me in the managerial position~ Even so, I do go back once in a while to check on things. The performance next week… Say, is that the band that Koga-kun’s been looking after?

Koga: Mhm. ‘Cause its meant for a Rock’n’Roll band, I needa pick a super duper cool flower basket!!

Kuro: Hakaze’s still plenty familiar with his own business.

Mika: Yer can have a look at this catalog for the various flower basket arrangements! Though yer need to book them in advance… same goes for Kiryuu-senpai’s preserved flowers.

Kuro: In that case, I’ll go pick out the flowers I’d like to use from the shelves.

Koga: A-a-a… ACHOO! Lend me that catalog, ‘m goin’ out to have a look! Hakaze-senpai, since yer free, help me decide which one’s more suitable!

Kaoru: Ehh? Kiddo, you’re asking for my help so naturally?

Koga: It’s gonna be placed at the door of the Livehouse, so it’s not like it ain’t got nothin’ to do with you.

Kaoru: Ah. Yeah, that’s true. Let’s look through the catalog together, then~

Mika: Hehe, I, too, have found inspiration for ma’ design. The decor for the next stage will have flowers as its main theme… fresh flowers, potted plants, dried flowers, preserved flowers… Creatin’ different results through a variety of combinations…

Translator's notes:

[1] he's talking about those flower baskets that you prop up on huge stands?? that are like "from X to Y, congratulating you on a successful shop opening" or whatever www

Story 2 →

[musette22]

Minnie! I've been having all these "Mattfleck" content on my TikTok fyp, moments between Ben Afleck and Matt Damon going viral (most of the viral videos are by one or two accounts too, if not all of them) and everyone's going crazy with all the new information and people are shipping them hard (I do not blame them, lol), and I saw one comment on one of these post saying "you guys need to check out Milex" and naturally, I thought of you, and then naturally, I thought about Evanstan, and I was like god, there are so many moments of Chris and Seb (and of Milex too, I'm sure) that no one pays attention to, and we just need one or two heroes getting them out there. Like the intimate hugs, the whole Civil War press tour thing, etc. Make a fucking catalog, thread, picture album, I don't care.

I don't even know why I want general public to just fucking pay attention to them too, nothing more, just see these two together, please! Like actually see all these moments and the rest is up to you. It's so silly lol but sometimes it's so lonely outside of here 😂 this is not to be taken much seriously, by the way, I know they were much more popular a few years ago -but I'm sure there are plenty who have no clue about them and would probably lose their shit, but then again, maybe this is for the best -,but I just needed to ramble. So yeah, thank you, I'll be praying.

Ohh honey!! I totally missed this ask until just now, somehow! I'm so sorry, not sure when you sent this but I didn't mean to ignore you 🤦🏻‍♀️

But aaahhh I think it's so sweet of you that you thought of me when you saw people mentioning Milex! 🥰 And ngl, I'm pretty chuffed someone mentioned them because they DO deserve to be on that list for sure! It's some of the wildest rpf stuff you can imagine, honestly.

However, Chris and Seb definitely deserve a solid mention too, you're absolutely right! I've always said it, but the way they always light up when they see each other or even when the other is mentioned, and especially the way they interacted during all those press tours... there was something there. Whether they ever acted on it or not, I absolutely believe they've got a big old soft spot for each other and it wouldn't surprise me at all if anything did happen between them tbh. But yeah, some of those civil war press tour moments especially were SO telling, and I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who would be blown away by seeing a compilation of all those kinds of moments, just like I was when I first stumbled upon them ❤️ There are some GREAT and pretty comprehensive videos on YouTube, lemme tell you....

Anyway, they're both happily settled right now of course and that's wonderful for them, but just as I think they'll always have a special place in each other's hearts, their connection and that wonderful, soft and warm sort of tension that exists between them will always have a special place in mine 💘 Sending you hugs, lovely!

[sommerflue-22]

SWIPE RIGHT | Armin Arlert x Reader

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

One swipe to the right and you found yourself going on dates with Armin Arlert, loving how he treated you right. Who could possibly resist such a gentle and compassionate man? It's only a matter of time before he officially asked you to be his girlfriend...

Pairing(s): Armin Arlert x Fem!Reader

Warning: Arranged marriage, situasionship

Word count: 2.4k

Author note

Hi guys, thank you for the likes and follows. I really appreciate it! Make sure to follow me if you haven't, so you can find the next part of this fic (or other fics) easily! Here's part 3, lemme know if you like it! <3

“Earth to (Y/N), please?”

You pushed Hitch’s hand away from your face. “What?” You were annoyed because Hitch had been bothering you for the past few minutes as you typed an important email.

“It’s time for our lunch break. Come on, let’s go get some pho.”

You glanced at the clock on the wall, and surely it was ten minutes after one in the afternoon. You told Hitch to meet you in front of the store as you finished sending the email. With a new campaign coming up, it was quite a busy day in the jewelry store you worked at. As a result, you had to send a ton of emails before the day ended. 

You exchanged a few greetings with your coworkers. They had already taken their lunch break, so they would stay in the store. Hitch was impatient and dragged you out to the new pho restaurant, a few buildings away from the store.

While waiting in line to order, you checked your phone but there weren’t any text messages from Armin. You assumed he was preoccupied with the family business, since it was still the summer vacation. Of course, you missed him a lot. The last time you went on a date with him was around two weeks ago. 

“How’s Sasha, by the way?” Hitch asked. She mistook your frequent action of checking your phone’s notification as waiting for a message from Sasha.

“Oh, she’s doing really well. She just got promoted.” You slipped your phone in your back pocket.

“That’s great.”

The conversation died down as it was your time to order. You were surprised by the size of the portion, and not to mention how delicious it tasted. Overall, you and Hitch both thought that it was a good deal, and you both planned to come back the next day to try another menu.

Satisfied with your meal, you and Hitch returned to the store. You checked your phone one more time before going back in. Nothing. No text message. You sighed and pushed the front door open.

“Thank god you’re here, (Y/N).” One of your coworkers approached you. “I need the catalog for our designer collaboration series. Could you please bring it out? A customer wants to look at it, says they’re really interested in one of the designs.”

“Sure, I’ll bring it out soon.”

You dashed to your office in the back of the store and grabbed the most recent catalog. You also took a few brochures to give to the customer in case they were still looking. As soon as you got everything you needed, you immediately went back to the front store. Your coworker was chatting with the customer, a lady with a prominent jaw and nose structure. Beautiful, you thought to yourself.

“Hello, I’m (Y/N) (Y/L/N), and I’m the marketing manager here.” You greeted her with a smile. “I believe you are interested in our most recent collaboration with a few designers.”

“Indeed,” the lady replied, “my fiancé and I are looking for wedding jewelry.”

“Oh, congratulations on your engagement. When will the wedding take place? Because we are currently out of a few designs. So, if you’re interested in one of those designs, I can certainly contact some people to get it back in stock.”

The lady scanned the catalog you gave her. “Not to worry, the wedding is still six months away.”

“We have plenty of time, then. May I interest you in these Luminous collections? The design is timeless and they are one of our most popular, best-selling collections—”

“Annie, dear, did you switch your phone back to silent mode? I swear I left you a couple of missed call—”

You froze as you saw the familiar blond man. Armin just walked in and sat down next to the lady, putting his arm around her waist. 

“I think so? I’m sorry, Armin.” The lady gave him a peck on the cheek, “Here, what do you think of these collections? Miss (Y/L/N) here said some of them are out of stock, but she might be able to help us out.”

You could see Armin’s shoulder tensed as he realized, for the very first time since he entered the store, that it was you. You never told him where you worked, so it came as a surprise to him. Armin couldn’t form any sentence and just stared at you as his fiancée told him about her thoughts on the collection.

You cleared your throat. “Yes, I believe this one will really compliment your eye color, Ma’am. I’d love to assist you further, but unfortunately I have a meeting in less than five minutes. Here’s my business card, please contact me at any time. For the time being, my colleague, Ms. Green, will gladly assist you.”

The lady, whose name was Annie, thanked you. You thanked her again and immediately left for your office. Hitch, with whom you shared the office, was sitting in front of her laptop when you walked in. She jumped in her seat when she heard you curse. Even on the worst of occasions, you rarely cursed. Hitch knew right away that there was something wrong.

“Whoa, what’s gotten into you, (Y/N)?” Hitch paused her typing. “Did you have to deal with another fussy, finicky customer?”

“No, I don’t want to talk about it right now, Hitch.” You gritted your teeth as you sat down, picking up your phone to text Sasha about what had happened.

“I was beyond shocked, our Miss (Y/L/N) cursed out of nowhere, in the middle of the day—”

“Shut—” you were about to yell at her, but you took a deep breath and quickly  regained your composure. “—up. Hitch, I am trying to focus on my work right now and you should too.”

Hitch knew not to disturb you and continued her typing. You opened up a document on your desktop that you didn’t really need to look through, as your phone buzzed with new messages from both Sasha and Armin.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

You despised the smell of alcohol, but you knew you really needed a drink. After the unfortunate encounter, you informed your boss that you would be taking a three-day casual leave for the remainder of the week. Sasha blew a fuse when you told her about what happened during that day. She could tell how disappointed you were even if you didn’t really show it. That’s why she invited Jean, and even Connie, who drove all the way from another city, to cheer you up. They took you to one of your favorite bars downtown.

“What a lame git.” Jean scoffed, “I swear to god, if I ever meet him I will…” He punched the air with his right fist.

“No need to stoop that low, Jean.” You sighed and leaned back to your seat, eyes closed. “He doesn’t deserve your time or attention.”

Jean ruffled your hair and turned to face your other two friends, who were really, really tipsy. “At least they’re having fun.” Indeed, Sasha and Connie were having the time of their lives, laughing and singing along to the music, occasionally making insulting remarks  about your date. 

You downed all of your remaining cocktail before excusing yourself to the restroom. Jean offered to walk you there, but you told him you’d be fine. That was a lie; you broke down once you got into one of the cubicles. No sound came out of your lips, but you were sobbing. You felt so foolish. All this time he never asked you out because he already had a fiancée. Someone more attractive and obviously came from a wealthy family, they belonged to the same peer group. You were probably just a summer fling for him. Were there any others? You didn’t know, and you didn’t want to find out. It hurt you how he treated you like you were special. How he held your hand every time he got the chance, how he cradled you in his arms, how his fingers delicately touched your skin…

How he sent you into ecstasies every time he laid with you. 

You were filled with disgust. How could he do such a thing to you? How could he be so cruel to his fiancée? You kept telling yourself over and over that it was not your fault. You wiped your tears, braced yourself, and exited the cubicle to return to your table. 

Sasha and Connie had stopped singing and were both looking at you with worry in their eyes. Meanwhile, Jean didn’t look up, instead tracing the edge of his glass with his hand. He seemed to be in a trance and didn’t realize you had returned from the bathroom.

“(Y/N), are you okay? I mean, that’s a stupid question but… you’re good there, bud?” Connie asked, clearly no longer tipsy.

You nodded and smiled weakly at him. “I’m alright Connie, thanks. I’m really tired, though.”

“Do you want me to drive you back home?” Connie fished out his car keys which Sasha quickly pushed aside.

“You’re totally buzzed, Conman.”

“I’m alright, I’m all sober—”

“I’ll drive you home, (Y/N).” Jean took Connie’s keys and stood up. “Obviously, I’m the only one sober enough to drive.”

“Darn it, you’re right.” Connie clicked his tongue. “Bring my car back right after dropping (Y/N) off, will you?”

You stood up to hug Sasha and Connie, before following Jean out of the bar. Thankfully, Connie had parked not far from the bar. Soon, you were on your way home with Jean driving.

Normally, Jean would have teased you mercilessly. He did that a lot whenever you had an argument with your previous ex. This time, Jean didn’t say anything. He knew how chaotic your mind was. He understood. The ride was silent from the moment you left the bar, all the way until he stopped in front of your apartment building.

Jean pulled the handbrake and turned to look at you. “Do you want me to walk you in, (Y/N)?”

“I’m fine.” You squeaked.

Jean let out a sigh. He stepped out, went around the car, and opened the door for you.

“You know you can call me anytime, right? If you need someone to talk to, or if Sasha doesn’t pick up your call.”

“I know, Jean. Thanks.”

He nodded and opened his arms to hug you. You let him, but it reminded you of Armin. You felt a pang in your chest; you would never inhale that woody scent of his cologne ever again. 

“Alright then, I’d better get going.” You backed up.

You waited until Jean left before entering your apartment. You did everything automatically, taking the elevator up to your floor. What caught you off guard was a familiar figure, sitting with his back against your door.

“What the fuck are you doing here? Get lost.” You sneered.

“(Y/N),” Armin stood up and tried to hold your hands, but you pushed him away. “(Y/N), I’m so sorry—”

“Yeah? Tell that to your fiancée, asshole.”

“Please, (Y/N). Please let me explain first, don’t get the wrong idea, please.” Armin’s eyes began to water and his voice quivered as he was on the verge of crying. “Please, I know it seems fucked up but believe me it’s not what you think it is.”

A part of you wanted to believe him, to invite him in and hear his explanation. Another part of you, though, had had enough. You didn’t want to hear any excuse. You’re sick of being played. You felt bad for his fiancée. 

“Go home, Armin.” You sighed. “Go home. Don’t apologize to me, apologize to your fiancée.”

You pushed Armin aside and unlocked your door.

“(Y/N), you don’t understand—”

“Oh, it’s me who doesn’t understand? How could you? How could you do that to me, to your fiancée? Huh?” You finally snapped. “You know what? Right now I really want to call you names, horrible names, but I won't. You do not deserve my time, you do not deserve my energy, you do not deserve me. I hate you for doing this. I hate the fact that I love the way you treated me, how you made me feel special, how I actually fell in love with you in a matter of a few weeks—”

You were interrupted as Armin’s lips collided with yours. You didn’t kiss back, and it didn’t last long. Armin rested his forehead against yours, a few tears rolled down his cheeks. 

“(Y/N), I was set up.” He sobbed. “My parents set me up, fuck. They arranged a marriage without telling me, nor did they ask for my agreement. Fuck, I’m so sorry (Y/N). I’m so, so sorry.”

You actually let him hug you tight. You felt bad for yelling at him.

“I fell in love with you, dear. I truly did. I am in love with you. So much. I want to get to know you better, and I want to actually ask you out. I didn’t want to rush things but now I regret that. I should have asked you out. I don’t want her, I want you. God, we did a lot of things together, didn’t we, (Y/N)? I gave you my first kiss, I made love for the first time with you, I took you to the beach—a very special and memorable place for me. You’re the one I want. (Y/N), dear, please believe me. I know we’ve only known each other for a month or two, but I know. I know and I really am sure I only want you. Please believe me.”

Your head was spinning and you were at a loss of words. You let Armin hold you for a long time until he stopped crying. You couldn’t think of anything to say, think, or do.

“Thank you,” you croaked out, “For telling me.”

Armin looked at you with a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

“I feel like you should sort things out with your family about it. You want me to believe in you? There is nothing else you can do but prove it to me. If I really am the one you want, sort things out. Come back to me when you’re ready.”

Armin nodded slowly. “I will try. I will try my best. Will you wait for me?”

“Yes.”

“Alright.”

Both of you stood there in silence until you cleared your throat.

“Well then, you should probably go home.”

“Ah, yes. I should…” Armin pointed at the elevator with his thumb. “Yeah, I guess so.”

He turned on his heels and trudged down the hallway.

“Good night, Armin.”

He stopped on his track and looked back, a sad smile plastered on his face.

“Good night, (Y/N), my dear.”

This fic is also available on Ao3

[escape-rock-bottom]

Journal #25 - I'm Not Supposed to be Here (Discomfort Challenge Journal)

This is an interesting fact that I didn’t actually know until I was watching a random YouTube video a while ago: You can apparently take house tours for houses you can’t even afford and they won’t bother to check beforehand if you can. You can literally find a nice place, set a tour date and time or attend an open house, and no one will say a dang thing about it. However, I still got the feeling I would be lying or trespassing in some way. I was still curious though.

When I was setting my discomfort challenges, I remembered this. Since it was in line with my future goals (gotta know where you’re moving to before you actually do so) I set a discomfort challenge to do this. I found an apartment complex that interested me in an ideal future price range that I actually could afford given my income goals. However, I definitely hesitated to set the date until far later in the month.

Originally, I just intended to do this as a way to face my fear of searching for apartments to move into as I have been getting overwhelmed with the thought of where to move. I figured I should start looking just to get an idea of where I would possibly move once I began making the necessary income since I had no clue where I could possibly go. To me, it’s important that I do plan for big commitments such as this. Walking up to the building was nerve-wracking. I tried to remember the saying “look like you’re supposed to be there and you won’t be questioned” and put on my best “I have business to attend to” demeanor. I eased up when I was met with only kindness and understanding as I informed them I was there for a tour. All my fears of being out of place melted away and I genuinely enjoyed the tour (Lemme say this, that was one siiiiiiiick apartment complex. I actually really like it but I don’t know about the location. Anyways-)

I didn’t expect that walking out of those doors I would have discovered something new and powerful. I remember hearing someone mention it on YouTube once, but it wasn’t originally the motivation behind the challenge. While an outlandish, potentially unrealistic idea, it made sense:

Physically put yourself in the place you wish to be in the future. Pretend you are your future self.

There is some insane power behind test driving your dream car, touring potential dream homes, and planning your ideal life by looking through catalogs and making dream boards. No joke, stepping into that building, I began imagining myself living there (and being able to effortlessly afford it) and as we walked through I pictured what I’d do and how I’d feel being there.

I know I wouldn’t be able to afford it right now, but think about it: If I set my goal to make the kind of income to afford this kind of thing, and take action towards it, where could that possibly get me? 

I do think this idea is worth its own deep dive, but for now, I will leave you with this food for thought: Think about where you wish to be in the future. It can be a financial thing, a material thing, a mental thing, or a general desire. Try to see if you can put yourself in that place physically. Want to work towards a shiny new Ferrari? Test drive one. Be aware of the feeling of driving and looking at it. Pretend it’s already yours. When you leave, remember those feelings and make your plan of action. 

There’s power in imagination and emotion. The more feelings and imaginative reality you attach to your goals, the more likely you will be to stay focused and take action for it. I know for sure visiting that apartment complex only made me want it more, and it reignited my drive to work towards it. I will try my best to keep that alive until one day I’m writing these blog posts from my very own home with my very own stable income, then I’ll be hopping into my very own car to meet my new, cool friends.

Lastly, don’t let anyone tell you you’re nuts for looking into things you can’t afford or have but wish to. There’s a difference between delusion and dreaming, and I’m pretty sure it’s not delusional to want to work towards nice things for yourself.

[bookwyrminspiration]

Jude ;-;

NO I'D FORGOTTEN ABOUT JUDE--

I'm. I'm devastated. Never gonna get over it. It's been years since I read tdm and most of my memory is now of the first book and snippets of Zu's book. I'd forgotten all about Jude and haerigoawnr. That. What happened. When I started looking into it it started coming back and I'm just remembering the disbelief what I first read that scene.

like why Jude? Why him? After all they'd been through and then they can't even get to his body (I think. memory very fuzzy). Just the numb shock of the tunnel collapse. I don't even remember how it all happened anymore just the pain.

I'm going to pretend that Jude is perfectly fine and Ruby successfully kept him safe and he went on to live a very happy life full of friendships and support <33

[blessedlance]

[r18+]

[wc:] 3.3k

[cw:] sub!atsumu, softdom!reader, femdom, oral (f. receiving), mommy kink, puppy kink, minor dacryphilia, collar-play

! haikyuu manga timeskip spoilers. atsumu is 24. !

Honestly, you hadn’t even realized Atsumu was home.

 Work had been such utter shit all week. Every day a new client would find (and inevitably come to you) with some stupid, inane issue. Usually, you could maintain a decent work-life balance--able to leave the bullshit at the office door.

Apparently, not this week.

You’re dicing an onion for dinner… poorly, at that. It’s hardly got your attention--mind constantly circling back to work, work, work.

The whole team is so busy this week. Why the fuck did they think that meeting was so important today? It could have just been an email.

Why’d that client get so worked up over such a minor mistake… Bad for your health to be that angry all the time.

Oh, shit. Did I reply to that email??

I should probably log back in just to double check…

 Atsumu slinked in the front door silently (for once), wanting to surprise you since he’d gotten home from Jackals practice so early. He slipped off his sneakers, gingerly setting them down, and quietly dug into the outer pocket of his gym bag, searching for the pièce de résistance of his little surprise. His hand met leather, clutching the thin black collar you’d bought him a while back. After you had called him “puppy” for the first time: with his hands tied tight above his head because he just couldn’t behave like a good boy. Because--you had paused, tongue licking a long, fat stripe from the root to the tip of his cock, watching the way his big, muscular body pulled taught by the ropes shivered in response--a brat like him needed a little punishment here and there in order to learn how to be your good little puppy.

 He peered curiously around the entryway into the kitchen at the rhythmic sound of you chopping something. Eyes searching your face, he could see the way your brows were pinched, how you unconsciously worried your bottom lip between your teeth--the way you always did when you were deep in thought.

 Not… exactly the welcome he expected.

But Atsumu has always been good at thinking on his feet. He could work with this.

 And now,

 Atsumu’s looking up at you with those big brown eyes--blonde bangs partially obscuring his face. You’re seated on the edge of the mattress with Atsumu on his knees before you, hands clutching the sheets on either side of your hips. You cup his cheek, softly stroking with your thumb.

 “You look so pretty like this, ‘Tsumu.”

 He flushes at the praise, cheeks warm against your palm. Fingers move to trace the shell of his ear with a feather-light caress and his lower lip trembles--the thrill of your touch against the sensitive spot coursing through him like a shock.

 Your hand moves, sliding up against the short hairs of his undercut before threading themselves into the longer blonde locks atop his head. His eyes remain locked on you, basking in the pleased look on your face as you pull his bangs back, gently stroking the top of his head. 

 “Such a sweet boy, wearing this just for me.” You murmur, gently tracing where leather meets the soft skin of his neck. “You wanna be my good little puppy?”

With that, you meet his gaze--brown eyes glassy, lips slightly parted. The hand against his neck travels upward, thumb sliding across his bottom lip carefully. Atsumu feels himself harden and is forced to readjust--recentering his weight atop his knees before he nods.

 You grin at the reaction, bringing a leg up and resting it over his shoulder.

 “Then lick like one.”

 You go to tug him inward with the muscle of your calf, but Atsumu’s faster. In an instant, his face is pressed against your clothed cunt--eyes squeezed shut in concentration as he mouths against the fabric. You can’t help the small laugh that leaves you with a breath. Seeing him like this: so eager and desperate to please, fervently awaiting your every command. The polar opposite of the brash, self-assured Atsumu Miya the world sees on the court, through their TVs, in interviews…  It makes your chest warm, like the feeling of smooth liquor sliding down into your stomach, knowing that the very same Atsumu chooses to share and indulge in this deep, intimate part of himself with you and you alone.

It’s intoxicating.

 “You can take them off, ‘Tsumu.”

A quiet gasp leaves you, pleasantly surprised by his boldness.

 At the sound of his name, Atsumu’s eyelids flutter open and up to your face--black pupils blown out, engulfing brown. He brings a hand up near his mouth, and simply pulls your panties to the side, holding them there. His mouth seals itself against your bared cunt, tongue peeking out to toy with that sensitive little button near the top--

Atsumu is helpless to suppress the groan that tears itself from his chest.

 “'Tsumu--” You sigh, fingers intertwining with blonde locks. His face presses closer, letting out a pleased hum at the feel of your gentle tug on his hair. Your grip tightens, pulling the strands harder, to grind your slick heat against his mouth--

 “Yeah, you like that baby? Like when I use you to make myself feel good?”

 “Mmhmm…” Atsumu nods, doubling down on his efforts, alternating from licking to sucking and biting on your clit softly--increasing the speed, the intensity to just how he knows you like it.

 “You just wanna please me and make me cum on your mouth, don’t you sweet boy?” You tease between heavy breaths. To his credit, Atsumu’s working hard. He’s worked you up much faster than usual, and there’s something so fucking hot about how genuinely he’s lapping at your cunt. As if the way your sex drips at his actions is directly correlated to his own pleasure.

Just as with all things Atsumu does, his absolute dedication to giving his everything, even in this, is staggering. He has spent so much time studying your reactions to the varying strokes of his tongue against you. Cataloging each one. The way you keen when he takes his time, eating you open slowly, so slowly--like you are a flower awaiting the rains of spring before you will bloom for him. The way you subsequently shatter when he finally plunges those thick fingers inside. How your thighs tremble in his grip when you’re close and he finally seals his mouth over that sensitive clit, sucking hard to tip you over the edge. You wouldn’t dare insult his efforts by not reciprocating--by not giving him exactly what he wants, in turn.

His mouth moves down, circling your opening with his tongue, and then dips it inside--pressing the wet, wriggling muscle in as far as it will go. His brows knit together at the effort, nose pressed flush against you, and your head falls backward with an ungodly moan.

 “Off--Take them off, ‘Tsumu.” You command, (more frantically than you’d like to admit) as you grip the band of your underwear. His hands fly up, mouth reluctantly parting from your core, attached by a string of saliva as he pulls away. In one smooth motion, he’s slid the offending garment off your legs and tossed it who-fucking-cares-where. You catch yourself studying his face--the wet shine on his lips, the flush of his cheeks, the glossiness of his eyes as they turn upward to meet your own. Holding your gaze, he lets his tongue loll out of his mouth, leaning down to lave one long, flat lick from the bottom of your hole to the very top of your clit. Your breath flutters in your chest at the sight: how those coffee brown eyes kept themselves locked onto yours while he licked, watching for your approval--for your involuntary response to his efforts. So brazen and unashamed in his lewdness.

Atsumu sighs out an exhale--his heat of his breath against your wetness making you squirm.

 Fuck. You’re crumbling.

 “Atsumu…” You sigh, letting yourself fall backward to lie on the mattress. Atsumu perks up, pulling himself away to sit up straight and push your legs apart and back--toward your chest.

 “Astumu..!” You say again, tone slightly stern in your surprise at his boldness.

 “Shhh…” His eyes drift to a close, long lashes tickling the sensitive skin of your inner thigh while he presses soft kisses there--slowly encroaching back in toward your slick heat. “Ya’ been working so much lately…” A kiss at the junction between your thigh and pelvis. “‘n I thought about the taste of this sweet cunt all day. Jus’ lemme enjoy it.”

 You feel yourself tremble, back arching at his lewd words. This--This is not how this was supposed to go. He’s being more disobedient than usual.

Actually, he’s always this disobedient.

You were being more lenient than usual--allowing yourself to succumb so quickly.

Were you really tired enough to just let it go like this? Sure, you’d been busier than usual lately…

Now that you think about it, you had probably worked more overtime in the last week alone than you had done over the past six months.

 Atsumu’s eyes are half-lidded when he looks back up at you, those golden brown eyes swimming in an almost predatory haze. “Wanna eat you open ‘til you cum.”

 Fuck. He’s good.

You huff out a breath, feigning frustration. “Th-then put that mouth of yours to good use.”

The glint in his eyes tells you he, unfortunately, did not miss that verbal stumble. Blessedly, he doesn’t comment on it and elects to resume his earlier efforts at full force instead. Air floods into your lungs with a sharp inhale when his mouth makes contact. Thick, calloused fingers circle the hole of your opening before sliding in without resistance.

 “Mmmh! ‘Tsumu!”

You can feel the cheshire grin curling across his lips. Then, those fingers are pressing in, in, in as deep as they’ll go before dragging themselves slowly back out. Twice--three times--four times he repeats the motion, making sure to take his sweet time with each one.

 “Faster.” You breathe, desperation creeping into your tone.

 “‘M savoring it.” Atsumu murmurs through the side of his mouth, still partially wrapped around your clit, the hum of his voice sending tingles straight to your core.

The other, deeper part of him relishes in the thought of simply acquiescing to your command. Revels in the relief of allowing himself to break down to his most base self, existing only to use that unyielding dedication of his to endlessly spoil and service the one he loves.

You abruptly sit up. A hand reaches out, and you curl your index finger through the o-ring of his collar in a flash. You inch your face closer, tugging him toward you.

"Good puppys do what they’re told.” You whisper. Atsumu’s eyes are wide, face flushed red at your sudden aggression. Part of him demands he bite back. Begs him to use his athlete strength to hold you down into the mattress and fuck you senseless. To give himself the relief his leaking cock is desperate for.

 “I thought you wanted to be my good puppy boy, ‘Tsumu.” You tease, yanking on his hair hard, bearing his neck to you. Astumu moans, eyes squeezed shut at the heady mix of pain and pleasure, and before he realizes it, he’s rubbing his hard, arching cock against the side of the bed.

 “Ohhh, what happened to wanting to savor it?” You reach down, wrapping a hand around the tip of him. Slowly, cruelly, your hand squeezes as it slides downward and back up. Pumping with careful, lethargic movements--mirroring the infuriatingly slow speed his fingers had maintained within you. Atsumu lets out a shuttering moan, abs trembling with the pleasure of your touch.

 “I can’t… I can’t wait--I can’t. Please.” He babbles, lost in the lust consuming him with every stroke of your soft, small hand.

 “Aww, you can’t? Need to feel this tight pussy around you?”

 He nods (or at least, he tries to, against the tight grip your fingers have in his hair). “Please. Please I wan’--wanna make ya feel so good baby. So good ‘round my cock. Please.” You can’t help but grin. It’s so cute, the way his dialect slips out more and more when he loses himself in the fog of lust like this.

 Your fingers relinquish their rough grip on his hair and flatten, stroking the top of his head gently while your other hand continues its repeated journey up and down his length. His breath has turned ragged, head falling forward against your shoulder while he indulges in your touch for just a moment more.

 “Then c’mere.” You fall backward, pulling his big body over yours. Atsumu comes to his feet--albeit a bit shakily--and your legs wrap themselves around his middle. His hips slot against you, cock resting atop your petal-soft folds. Carefully, your fingers drift down your body, spreading them apart with your middle and ring fingers to slide his length between, resting just near where he so desperately wants to be. Precum gathers at his tip and drips onto your skin and a shaky sigh trembles out of Atsumu’s chest--knuckles turning white with his grip on the sheets. Your free hand grasps one of his, bringing it to your breast.

 “Touch me.”

 His big palm squeezes, other hand coming to grasp at its twin. He stares with rapt attention, feeling the pillowy soft skin beneath his calloused setter fingertips. Fingers pinch and tug on too sensitive nipples and you keen, back arching off the mattress beneath you.

 “‘Tsumu---’Tsumu please.”

 It seems it’s your turn to beg.

 “Yeah--I got ya.” He whispers, leaning over to engulf your body beneath his larger build. He releases one breast and lines himself up with your opening, spread open and slick, waiting just for him.

And then, finally he’s within your velvet walls. You cry at the stretch, at the way this angle lets his length reach into your deepest recesses. He’s bent over, face buried in the crook of your neck breathing hot puffs of air through an open mouth.

 “So warm…” You barely hear him whisper. “Fuck you’re so wet…” Once he has comfortably bottomed out within you, his hips draw back and the searing hot drag of his cock against your walls makes you moan, shameless in the pleasure. Your hands grasp his cheeks, tugging his face to you to seal your lips against his.

 “Mmm…” With a dark, pleased hum Atsumu opens his mouth, tongue sliding against yours and fuck--you can taste yourself on him. With one hand still palming a breast, he carefully tugs your nipple, letting the pull bounce with your body as he fucks into you. The two of you break apart for a breath, and Atsumu’s gaze is almost pitiful--eyes swimming with unshed tears, brows turned upward, face flushed. He looks positively delirious.

 “Feels so good ‘Tsumu.” You sigh. “You’re so good for me. Filling me up so well--”

 The vulgarity of your praise serves its purpose, and Atsumu’s thrusts immediately turn hard and fast. His hands become restless and come to clutch the fat of your thighs, letting one leg rest on his shoulder and pressing the other back, even further in toward your chest. The angle so, so deep and pace bruising, causing your breasts to bounce viciously with every movement in and out of your stretched hole.

 “Yeah--yeah. Wanna make you cum baby. Wanna make you feel so good and feel you tighten around me. Fuck--” He’s fucking you in earnest, sweat sticking those blonde bangs to his forehead. You slide one hand down the taut muscle of his arm, your light-handed touch scorching against Atsumu’s skin as you trail your hand down--all the way from the blade of his shoulder to the hand grasping your hip so firmly you wonder if you’ll find faint bruises shaped like his fingertips in the mirror tomorrow. Your fingers wander inward to the junction between your thighs until they reach your clit, gently circling the soft, sensitive bud with practiced precision. Atsumu breathes out a curse, watching your movements, his hips becoming frantic--some deep, base part of him taking control.

 “FUCK--” He cries, head falling to rest on your shoulder, hair tickling your skin. "Feels so good… so good. Y’r so hot like this.”

 Your chest flutters at the praise and a smug grin slides across your lips. Gently, you trace your tongue along the shell of his ear and he physically shivers.

 “Yeah? You like when I let you take me like this baby?” The hand not currently occupied with your own pleasure slowly rises to rake your nails down Atsumu’s broad, strong back and he audibly whimpers.

“Baby… baby please I’m--I wanna feel you cum around me so bad. Please.” His head turns to lick and suck at the skin of your neck--sloppy and wet and desperate.

 You can feel yourself tightening, the burning heat within you coiled so tightly it threatens to snap. It feels as though you might never catch your breath, mouth hanging open while you moan and sigh out mindless words of pleasure in Atsumu’s ear.

 “You fuck me so good. I’m so close. I’m so--I’m gonna--” and with just a handful of frenzied circles around your clit, Atsumu buries himself to the hilt inside your core and you come undone--walls constricting and fluttering while your legs tremble with the force of it. Your eyes are shut tight in ecstasy, but you feel Atsumu pull himself upright again and know he’s watching you with the eyes of a hawk, drinking the sight of your body orgasming beneath him. His thrusts slow, giving you his entire length in gentle, long strokes while you ride out the all-consuming throes of pleasure.

 Atsumu wills himself to a halt, staring down at you with those dark eyes. The satisfaction of pleasing you--of feeling your spasms around him has whet his appetite and now he is ravenous, desperate to cum inside you. He bites his lip, the exhausted muscles in arms nearly shaking with the effort of holding himself back.

 You take a beat to catch your breath before reopening your eyes to peek up at him.

 “You’re too good to me, ‘Tsumu.” You whisper, grinding yourself against him. Those coffee brown eyes go wide and he slides himself out slowly, looking to you one more time for the OK to continue.

With eyes half-lidded, body fucked out and soft, you meet his gaze.

“Fuck me to make yourself come, puppy.”

 You tug him in close.

Atsumu grips your thighs, pressing them impossibly far back against your chest again, holding your wet, fucked open cunt wide. He groans at the sight, hips stuttering until he's reached his previous pace. Atsumu moans, something high-pitched and desperate. It feels as though there are smoldering, hot coals in his stomach, waiting to be set ablaze. The slightest flicker enough to ignite them. And then you’re reaching up, grabbing his face with one hand, the other looping a finger through the o-ring of his collar.

 “Come for mommy, baby boy.”

 Atsumu combusts. Stars smatter behind his eyes in the blinding white heat. Every sensation across his body is numb compared to the blaze roaring in his core as he spills himself inside you. Hips falter, arms giving way as his weight comes to rest upon you. You release your hold on his collar, instead moving to caress the top of his head while he comes down from the high.

 The room is startlingly silent compared to the obscene noises filling it just moments ago, while the two of you catch your breaths. Eventually, he stirs, those brown eyes of his radiating warmth and bliss and love.

 “Thank you, “Tsumu.” You murmur with a sigh, body buzzing in satisfaction and joy.

 He flashes a crooked smile, nuzzling his face against your neck before placing the gentlest kiss to the overheated skin there.

 “Anything for you.”

 Sometimes, Atsumu knows what you need better than you do.

[buglife]

Terra Lumina

A hollow knight au guide that I keep writing in. You can read all my writings and art stuff in the #terra-lumina tag. Mostly so I can just point to this post when explaining things awee. :3 Post subject to edits and changes.

Terra Lumina is an au where both Ghost (the little knight) and Quirrel are together and are the new rulers of Hallownest. So it's a royalty au! Pretty much it's slice of life where they do their best to be a better ruler than the Pale King ever was, ruling with kindness and intelligence. Seriously, like, the Pale King could have just talked to the Radiance instead of letting things snowball like they did. They both live in the new palace which is pretty much like the White House in that it's mostly dedicated to government with an apartment for the rulers to live in. It's where the old palace used to be, but now it's much greener and 100% less buzzsaws. It is post embrace the void ending and an everyone lives/nobody dies au where the only characters that are dead are those that were found so at the start of the game. Takes place about 5-7 years after the end of the game.

The two romantic rulers.

Ghost:Now taller than Quirrel and is the Shade Lord, god of void and dreams. Sovereign of Hallownest and rightful ruler due to king's brand. Can use telepathy but only does so with family/friends, as they are nervous about scaring people so uses sign language with them. Is very happy to have family/friends and overall liked by most folks. Is still scary to some and is sad about that. Married Quirrel. Considers Mato their adoptive father and calls them such. Still enjoys fighting (but for fun now). Since dreams are now their aspect, they gather up nightmares to help the population (and gives to their adopted grimmchild, Allegro, and Grimm themselves.)

Quirrel: Now called the Scholar King, rules alongside Ghost. He still has trouble believing that this is his life. Chaotic Good. Mostly deals with the logistics in running the kingdom. Adoptive mother is Monomon who found him when he was teeny tiny. Did not attempt to drown themselves, instead isolated himself when he thought Monomon was dead so Ghost had to find him. Still fights and can practically teleport. Spends free time in the palace library where a copy of all the surviving books were moved to and is free to the public to check out and read.

Family/Friends

Hornet: Still the Princess of Deepnest and was happy to have her mother Herrah rule again. Is officially Deepnest's ambassador and works closely with her sibling to be sure things that need to get done, get done. She won't admit it but she loves spending time with her siblings. Also randomly jumps Ghost to keep them on their toes and make sure they don't lose their skill. This can happen at anytime, anyplace. Is a close ally with the Hive and is helping the new Queen get used to her role. Also demands spars with Quirrel all the time because she does like her brother and law and the fact she doesn't kill him is proof enough in her eyes.

Mato: Dadmaster. Pretty much raised Ghost in between the end of the game to present day (and did a damn good job). Still lives in the Howling Cliffs and teaches students still, especially knight candidates. Is always on hand to cause trouble if needed. Is so proud you guys can't even. Keeps his home open in case Ghost and Quirrel need to hide for a bit. Officiated Ghost and Quirrel's wedding because of course.

Hollow: Part of the new great knights of Hallownest and is known as Hollow the Kind. Still likes to help people, and after having lots of care and therapy, is now more expressive and open. Is pretty much free to do what they please, and they choose to mostly patrol the kingdom and help when needed. Is constantly sneaking frogs into the palace because Hollow loves them. Can only use telepathy with other void beings and uses sign language to communicate otherwise. Is still missing an arm but had a magical prosthetic built. Loves to be in cuddle piles.

Tiso:Big brother figure and part of the new great knights of Hallownest. He is known as Tiso the Daring. Is actually a badass Captain America type fighter, just couldn't dodge a house sized mawlek and nearly died back then. Taught Ghost all the swears and often invokes 'Big Brother Rights'. Is also Captain of the Guard and has matured a lot since the end of the game. In a relationship with Myla and Cloth.

Cloth:Part of the new great knights of Hallownest and is known as Cloth the Strong. Makes sure people behave. Has healed from her near suicidal want to join her late lover, and now has a more positive outlook on life. Tends to organize tournaments that aren't fucked up and fatal like the Coliseum. In a relationship with Tiso and Myla.

Myla:Was saved from the infection, but it left her prone to sickness and a little weaker than most bugs. Compensates for still being cherry and wonderful to be around. Actually wicked smart and has helped Ghost restart the mining industry. Enjoys going to musicals/plays in her free time. Still loves being a geologist and provided most of the geological samples in the Capital's museum. Is in a relationship with Cloth and Tiso.

Ogrim: The only surviving great knight of old Hallownest. Is part of the new knights as Ogrim the Defender. Is the leader of the new knights and is a brilliant tactician. Has moved up from the Waterways to a new home and no longer lives in exile. Likes to plan parties and is generally doing better. He deserves it.

God Tamer: Real name is Xena (I seen it used around and I like it.) Part of the new great knights of Hallownest and is known as Xena the Tamer. Still works alongside her beast, ‘Pickles’. Has an uncanny ability to befriend dangerous beasts and pacifies them. Now has a small zoo’s worth of ‘friends’ that come and go for pats and treats. Dunks on Tiso a lot. Is surprisingly a conservationist. Will beat the shit out of people without hesitation if needed. Often fights new recruits to judge areas needing improvement. Has no tolerance for idiots. Was saved from the infection, but was not infected long enough to cause long term damage.

Allegro: The Grimmchild. Has chosen female pronouns. She is now past the grub stage and has left the kingdom to travel with her father, Grimm, to learn how to take over the Troupe. Still keeps in contact with Ghost through dreams and loves Ghost very much as their ‘Ren’. Was and still is, a little shit. Ghost misses them a lot but is comforted by her visits. Ghost saves nightmares to give to her so she can get big and strong!

Grimm: Considered a friend at this point, and taught Ghost about the dream realm. Visits through dreams. Ghost saves nightmares to give to him. Often has advice when needed.

Sheo/Nailsmith: Uncles. They both run an art school with Sheo teaching fine arts and Nail(Smith) teaching forging. They also run an art gallery. Are up to cause trouble whenever needed.

Oro: Uncle. The real sour one. Teaches new recruits and tends to weed out those that can make it from ones that can’t. Pretty much a drill Sargent. Ghost pays him not only in geo, but candy. Special, custom made candy just for Oro. It’s the only way they could get him to do this job. Oro won’t admit it’s also because he loves his former pupil no sir.

Monomon: Quirrel’s adoptive mother and currently is the royal researcher. Teaches classes as well. Ghost pretty much told her to do whatever as long as it will improve the lives of bugkind and she loves them for it. Is always down to cause trouble. Chaotic Neutral. Has some type of explosive with them at any given time. Tends to ‘vanish’ people who have wrong her or her son. Embodies chaos. Craves gossip. Former Dreamer and woke up when Ghost took the pantheon approach to defeating the Radiance.

Herrah: Queen of Hallownest and considers Ghost one of her children. Is happy to be Queen of her own people and is making up for lost time with her daughter. Likes to meet with the Hallownest rulers for a good shit-talking session. Is made of sass. Former Dreamer and woke up when Ghost took the pantheon approach to defeating the Radiance.

Lurien: Watcher of the Capital. Disaster. Will stay up for days on end working on things to accidentally invent new things in the process in sleep deprived delirium. Often gets drunk or high and contemplates the universe. Has the best edibles around I tell you. Is actually good at his job, which is finding suspicious things and investigating them. Former Dreamer and woke up when Ghost took the pantheon approach to defeating the Radiance.

Lemm: Runs the Hallownest museum and works in the back where he catalogs and studies findings and doesn’t have to talk to anyone and is the happiest he could ever be.

Seer: Holy shit she is old. Still lives in the resting grounds. Ghost visits often and brings tea and snacks. Grandma energy. Is currently working with Quirrel to recount as much as she can about moth legends and society so it can be preserved forever. It’s slow going because she is old, but it’s going.

The siblings: Are now at rest.

Everything else

White Lady: Is still alive and has left the gardens. She resides in a little hidden cottage outside the palace where she grows flowers. Is often called in to overlook agriculture efforts. Has long since revoked her crown and is content with a quiet life. Is not considered a mother by Ghost, and Ghost will not forgive her for her role in things. She is okay with this and hopes to atone someday for what she did.

The Pale King: Still fucking dead. Rest in Pieces you shit.

Eternal Emilitia: Is a member of the new noble class and takes her job seriously. She mostly keeps the other nobles in line when she can and helps delegate orders to places where they need to go. It’s like herding cats but she’s getting better with it the longer she’s around. Is respected by Ghost since she knows what it’s like to hit rock bottom and is quite sensitive to the needs to the people.

Radiance: Dead. Was going mad and in pain by the time Ghost got to her. Is now at rest.

Greenpath/Queen’s Gardens:Given back to the moss-kin and Unn. Unn has started to awaken more now that the infection is over and her children are freed from it’s influence. Is considered it’s own ‘kingdom’. Is in good relations with Hallownest.

Fungal Wastes: Still thriving. A hivemind made up of everything from microscopic spores to the entire fungal waste itself. The mushroom tribe trades with Hallownest and is in good relations with them. Still considered weird to most but they are good and peaceful people.

Mantis Tribe: Is in a good relationship with Ghost, Hornet and Quirrel, and not much else. Has complete independence but was asked nicely if they could help train the most dedicated of new guards/knights. Did not pass up the opportunity to be allowed to beat the shit out of willing Hallownest citizens who wanted to train.

Deepnest: Ruled by Queen Herrah and Princess Hornet. Good relationship with Hallownest and enjoys full independence. The beasts that reside are no longer hassled by Hallownest encroachment and thus does not push back into it. Exports silk products and is now a very prosperous nation.

Dirtmouth/Crystal Peaks: Still the same, but with now more people. All our favorite Dirtmouth folks are doing well. Elderbug is delighted to have a full town to be a mayor over.

City of Tears: Now called the 'Capital'. Plants are now on the ceiling to redirect water and stop the constant rain. It's much more pleasant now.

Colosseum of Fools: Left alone mostly. Ghost cannot stop people for wanting to go there if they are of sound mind to make the decision.

The Hive: Is now ruled by the new Queen Apis. Is fully independent and enjoys a cushy trade agreement with Hallownest and the rest of the various nations. She wonders if she will ever live up to her mother, Queen Vespa, but has many friends to help her grow into the role. Hive Knight is her loyal friend.

[gffa]

LOOK WHO FINALLY FOUND A PAIR OF GLASSES I LIKED and I almost bought this outfit just because the pose it wound up on was so cute LOOK AT THIS LITTLE FASHION MAVEN. I’m really pleased because those look pretty close to my actual glasses!  And they look really cute!  SO MANY of the glasses in this game were Not My Favorite tbh. ALSO YOU GUYS!!! I HAVE HIT ANOTHER MAJOR MILESTONE!!!!! I!!  GOT!!  THE!!  CLOUD!!  FLOORING!! LET ME RECREATE A SCENE FOR YOU: - I’m sighing as I trudge over to Saharah again because so many times I buy stuff I don’t even want just for a chance at a mystery flooring and also her speech is SO LONG, EVERY SINGLE TIME IT IS SO LONG, but I do it anyway because @trickytricky1​ had this gorgeous flooring that I desperately wanted and you can��t buy it from the catalog, you can only get it from Saharah. So, fine, I do my usual purchases, Saharah takes forever, I eventually leave. Then I check to see what I got:

GASP wait is that THE Cloud flooring I was hoping for? Lemme just quick run home and check....

YEAH IT FUCKING IS I HAVE THE CLOUD ON MY FLOOR I AM GONNA MAKE SUCH A BEAUTIFUL ROOM WITH IT. UNSEEN HERE:  IT’S NOT JUST A CLOUD DESIGN, IT MOVES, IT’S ANIMATED SO IT’S A CLOUD ROLLING OVER THE FLOOR, IT LOOKS SO PRETTY OMG.

[orangeoctopi7]

Spiderstan AU Chapter 12

RESEARCH

No one was in a good mood the next morning. Stan was still nursing a huge headache as he recovered from the last bits of Gremloblin neurotoxin. Ford was still cross with Stan for endangering himself and Fiddleford the previous day, as well as a bit distracted thinking about what Bill could possibly be sending him. And poor Fiddleford had obviously not slept a wink last night, although whether that was due to discomfort from the broken arm or anxiety after the Gremloblin attack was unclear. 

“Are either of you feeling up to retrieving our supplies?” Ford asked as they all poked at a breakfast of instant oatmeal.

“No.” Stan grumbled into his bowl, pinching the bridge of his nose, as though he could draw the tension out from behind his eyes.

“...Fiddleford?” Ford asked when his friend didn’t respond. The inventor looked up with a start.

“Wh-what?” he reacted as though someone had just threatened him.

“I just want to know if you’re feeling up to going back up the hill and retrieving the supplies we had to leave behind.”

McGucket fidgeted with the sling that was holding his broken arm in place. “N-n-no, no I don’t think so.”

Ford frowned with concern. “Alright. I should be able to manage on my own with the amulet of levitation. Stanley, could you at least take Fiddleford to the hospital, so you can get a professional to set it and provide a proper cast?”

“Waste of money, if y’ask me.” Stan grunted.

“I didn’t ask you.” Ford hissed. “Fiddleford, I suppose it’s your own choice whether you want to go see a doctor or not.”

“No! I’m not crazy! I’m not seein’ no shrink!” his friend snapped.

“...I meant for your arm.” Stanford clarified, after a moment of stunned silence.

“...Oh. R-right…. Yeah… r-reckon I oughta…” 

“Look, buddy, if you don’t wanna go to the hospital, no judgement here.” Stan assured the inventor. “And if you do wanna go, I’ll drive ya, just don’t expect me to come in with you.”

“They don’t charge you for sitting in the waiting room, Stan.” Ford rolled his eyes.

“No, but if I ask for a cup of water, they’d probably add it to your bill.” Stan countered.

Ford stood and grabbed his coat, along with a small turquoise stone set in a brass broach. “Well, you two work out what you want to do. I’m going to go retrieve our things.”

“Try not to get yourself killed while you’re off on your own, ok?” Stan called after him as he left.

“I’ll be fine, mom!”

Stan and McGucket just sat chewing their oatmeal for another moment or two before either of them spoke again.

“So, uh, just to be clear, did you want me to drive you to the hospital, or…?”

“Oh, I reckon I should go.” McGucket nodded, more confident this time. “Mainly ‘cuz this make-shift cast an’ sling Stanford made fer me ain’t ‘xactly comfer’ble. A professional one’ll prob’ly be better protection, too.”

“Alright, we’ll go in a minute, just lemme finish eating.”

“While we’re out, I think we oughta talk ‘bout Stanford’s, uh, mysterious friend.”

Stan grimaced. “Yeah. I think that thing was here again last night. I was too out of it to go check, though.”

“Does it show up every night?” McGucket asked anxiously.

“Nah, I only felt it a few times while you were gone.” Stan informed him. “And two of those were during the day. I dunno what that thing’s deal is.”

“That’s ‘xactly why we gotta learn more ‘bout it.” the inventor. “It don’t seem like Ford’s gonna be very forthcoming with information, so we’ll have to start askin’ around the town.”

“How do we do that in a way that, y’know, doesn’t make people think we’re crazy?”

Fiddleford flinched at Stan’s words, and he needed a few seconds to regain his composure.

“Like I said before, lots’a Native American artefacts round the valley have that one-eyed triangle on it. I’m sure if’n we just ask people if they know what it is or where it comes from, act like we’re jus’ interested in the history, that won’t turn no heads.”

“Yeah, cuz I’m sure people will believe a guy like me is just interested in history.”

“Why not? Nobody here knows you ‘cept maybe as Ford’s brother, if they don’t just mistake you for ‘im outright. It ain’t that hard to believe.”

Stan opened his mouth to argue, but Fiddleford had a point. Maybe this would work.

* * *

After dropping Fiddleford off at the hospital, Stan started asking around about the yellow triangle thing. While most folks at least recognized the symbol when Stan drew it, no one really knew where it came from or what it was, other than something associated with the illuminati. Nobody knew about its connections to local Native American folklore. Stan supposed he shouldn’t have been surprised, it wasn’t like he expected the hospital receptionist to be an expert on Native American history.

Thankfully, Fiddleford’s checkup didn’t take too long. Stan had just wrapped up a conversation with an old farmer when the inventor stepped back into the waiting room, wearing a new cast.

“Any luck?” McGucket asked as they climbed back into Stan’s car.

“No. Shockingly, none of these yokels know anything about our mysterious visitor.”

“Hmmm, I reckon we’ll have better luck researchin’ at the library.”

Stan groaned loudly.

“What’ve you got against libraries?” Fiddleford asked, like an insult to the library was as bad as a personal insult.

“Nothin’, libraries are great, they’re some place I can go for air conditioning or heating and just sit around for a few hours without raisin’ a fuss. What I ain’t a fan of is researching.”

Fiddleford chuckled and shook his head. “Well, lucky for you I’m plenty experienced in that department. S’pose you could chat with the librarians while I do the book research.

The library was nearly empty, considering it was the middle of the day on a Wednesday. Of course, that meant the librarians weren’t too preoccupied to answer some questions. One helped Fiddleford search the catalog for books on the local tribes’ history and folklore, while the other talked to Stan.

“Ah yes, you see a lot of this figure in ancient art.” The librarian nodded. “Many people erroneously assume it’s a Freemason or illuminati symbol, but it actually becomes much less common after European contact.”

“Why’s that?” Stan asked.

“Hmm, I’ll admit I don’t know. We haven’t got access to any recordings of local oral tradition. Although I’ve heard many Native American communities are starting to tape that sort of thing. If you really want to know the original story behind that symbol, you should go to the original source!”

“Yeah, cuz I’m sure they’re eager to share the story with some random white guy.” Stan rolled his eyes.

“Oh, I’m sure as long as you’re respectful, they’d just be happy someone is taking an interest. Warm Springs Reservation is only about an hour and a half drive from here, they’re a confederation of Tenino, Wasco, and Paiute tribes. They have a museum, you should go pay them a visit.”

Respectful wasn’t usually in Stan’s vocabulary, but he supposed this case was an exception.

Seeing as the librarian didn’t have much more info for Stan, he contented himself with browsing the library’s comics section while Fiddleford did his book research. The nerd took much less time than Stan had been expecting.

“This library’s collection of local Native American folklore ain’t what I’d call extensive.” Fiddleford shook his head, “I was only able to find a couple of tangential references to the thing. All I got is it’s associated with knowledge.”

“Hmph, no wonder Ford’s buddy-buddy with it.”

“What ‘bout you, did the librarian have any more info for ya?”

“Not really, but she did recommend I go visit the nearest reservation and check out their museum. Not a bad idea really, ‘snot like we’ve gotten any info from anyone else. Plus, I bet they’ve got a casino!”

“That’s not really gonna help us figure anything out.”

“No, but it’ll help me blow off steam. Besides, Ford’ll be suspicious if I suddenly wanna visit a Native American museum. I’m coverin’ my tracks.”

* * *

Thanks to Ford’s photographic memory and stopping to get directions from a passing gnome, the young researcher was able to find their gear and carry it back to Fiddleford’s truck in just a few hours. Retracing his steps brought back memories of their hike, both good and bad. That night around the campfire had been nice, talking about their plans for the future, joking with Stan… but then the next morning, he’d overhead his friends talking behind his back.

“...And while you were on vacation, he kinda implied he wasn't up here alone before you moved in. I think this has been going on for a while. Maybe even years. Did you ever notice anything weird right after you moved in?"

"Other than that creepy triangle symbol everywhere? Not really…"

Ford grit his teeth, and the levitating objects in front of him wobbled. Didn’t they trust him? Even if he couldn’t tell them about Bill, couldn’t they at least understand that he was just doing what he could to further their research? Why did they automatically assume Bill was dangerous?

“...They could have at least asked me…” The researcher muttered under his breath.

“WELL, THEY COULD HAVE, BUT WE BOTH KNOW YOU WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO GIVE THEM A STRAIGHT ANSWER.”

“Bill!” Ford startled in surprise.

“HEYA SIXER, THOUGHT I’D COME KEEP YOU COMPANY WHILE YOU PICK UP AFTER YOUR BROTHER’S MESS.”

“Thank you, Bill, I appreciate it.” Ford smiled gratefully.

“HEY, WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR! NOT LIKE THOSE JERKS WHO LEFT YOU TO DO THIS ON YOUR OWN.”

“Well, that’s not their fault. They’re both still recovering from the Gremloblin attack yesterday.”

“SO, WHAT’S EATIN’ YA, SIXER? BESIDES YOUR OWN BODY’S METABOLISM SLOWLY BURNING ITSELF OUT.”

Ford sighed. “I just wish I could tell them about you. It’d make things so much easier!”

Bill tisked. “THEIR REACTION TO MY HELP AT THE ALIEN SHIP IS PROOF ENOUGH, THEY JUST WOULDN’T GET IT.”

“But if I had a chance to explain--”

“WE’VE ALREADY DISCUSSED THIS, FORDSY. EVEN IF THEY DO TAKE YOUR EXPLANATION SERIOUSLY AND DON’T THINK YOU’VE FINALLY LOST IT, ARE YOU REALLY NAIVE ENOUGH TO BELIEVE THEY’LL JUST GO ON SUPPORTING YOU? WE BOTH KNOW WHAT STANO’S LIKE WHEN YOU’RE ABOUT TO MOVE ON TO SOMETHING BIGGER AND BETTER. AND FOUR-EYES ALREADY ADMITTED TO YOUR FACE HE’D RATHER BE WORKING ON HIS OWN PROJECTS BACK HOME WITH HIS FAMILY. YOU REALLY THINK HE WOULDN’T TAKE THE FACT THAT YOU’VE GOT ME AS A SIGN HE’S OK TO PACK UP AND HEAD BACK HOME?”

“N-no, he wouldn’t… I still need his help!”

“HMMM, MAYBE YOU’RE RIGHT. MAYBE HE’D HELP HIMSELF TO YOUR PRELIMINARY RESEARCH AND PUBLISH IT HIMSELF FIRST.”

“Fiddleford’s my friend, he wouldn’t do that!”

“OH RIGHT, I FORGOT! YOU TWO ARE SUCH GOOD FRIENDS YOU’D NEVER LIE TO EACH OTHER OR TALK BEHIND THE OTHER’S BACK!”

Ford did not have a good rationalization for that.

“I’M JUST SAYING, STANFORD, BE CAREFUL WHO YOU TRUST!”

* * *

Stan and McGucket were helping themselves to a late lunch when Ford returned with their equipment. 

“So you went to the hospital after all.” Ford observed, nodding at Fiddleford’s new cast.

“Oh, yep…” Fiddleford answered. The inventor still seemed anxious and distracted.

“How long did they say you’d need to wear the cast?”

“‘Bout a week…” Fiddleford tapped his foot nervously.

Ford frowned. “I was hoping we’d be able to start connecting the hyperdrive to the portal tonight, but I supposed Stanley could help lift the superstructure.”

“Mmmnope.” Stanley declined. “I’m headin’ out to the casino tonight.”

“What? Why?”

“To gamble, genius, what do you think I’m gonna do at a casino?”

“No, I mean… why do you feel the need to go to a casino?”

“Have a little fun, make a little cash.”

“...Is this because I still haven’t gone grocery shopping?”

“What!? No, for cryin’ out loud, Ford, I just wanna go out and spend a night on the town!”

“On a Wednesday?”

“Yeah, that’s how you beat the crowds! I figure I deserve a break after fighting a monster and getting poisoned!”

“Oh…” Ford deflated. “... that’s fair. But… you’re coming back afterwards, right?”

Stan rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry, your latest specimen isn’t gonna fly the coop.”

Stanford frowned at his brother’s comment, but didn’t offer a retort. Instead he set about fixing his own late lunch. “So yet another day goes by where we make no progress on the portal project.”

“Stanford, I know yer eager to make your mark and get answers, but there really ain’t any reason we can’t take another day or two!” Fiddleford assured him. “There ain’t no ‘Weirdness Rush’ yet.”

“Perhaps, but one thing I’ve learned over the last six years here is that it’s far too easy to get distracted by every little fascinating thing one comes across here. If we don’t stay focused, we could easily keep putting it off until it just never gets done. I prefer to strike while the iron is hot.”

“Well, you keep striking iron, Ford.” Stan waved him off. “Tonight, I’m hopin’ to strike gold!”

* * *

After Stan left, the two scientists spent the night going over calculations and carefully inspecting the hyperdrive. Ford was disappointed they wouldn’t be able to start hooking it up to the mechanics of the portal just yet, but it was the kind of delicate mechanical work he only trusted McGucket with. He wished he had some more manual work to preoccupy his mind tonight. The young researcher had a hard time focusing on his calculations; his mind kept wandering to his brother.

If Stan won the jackpot, he’d be able to support himself. He wouldn’t have any more reason to stay here and work with me… Would he even come back? Would he even bother telling us?

Ford sighed with frustration as he realized he’d just read the same equation three times over. He really needed something to keep his hands occupied while he worked. He reached over to McGucket’s desk for what he often did when he needed something to keep his hands busy, and picked up his friend’s Cubics Cube. He raised an eyebrow when he noticed it still hadn’t been solved since the last time he scrambled it. He’d never seen Fiddleford leave it unsolved for more than a few hours. He glanced over to see the young inventor also seemed to be having trouble focusing on his work.

“You can’t concentrate either?” Ford asked, noticing how Fiddleford’s knee kept up a steady pace of 2 kbps, but his eyes stayed fixed at the top of the page he was supposed to be checking.

Fiddleford startled at his friend’s words. “S-sorry, jus’ tired. Didn’t sleep well last night.”

Ford offered him a sympathetic smile. “I don’t imagine so. I’m sure you’ll be on the mend soon enough though.”

“Mmm.” McGucket hummed noncommittally. “And how ‘bout you, what’s keepin’ you from concentratin’?” 

The researcher hemmed and hawed for a moment before he finally settled on an answer. “I suppose I’m a bit concerned with Stanley. I know he’s staying here because he’s got nowhere else to go, and I’m happy to give him a place to stay, but if things go well for him at the casino tonight… why would he stay here if he suddenly acquires the means to support himself?”

McGucket huffed a small chuckle and rolled his eyes. “It’s like I keep tellin’ ya Ford, you oughta be tellin’ him this stuff, and not me! If’n you really want him to stay, then you gotta be honest with him!”

“I-I am!” Ford insisted, willfully ignoring the fact that he was not, in fact, being honest about Bill. That didn’t count. He’d tell Stan if he thought Stan needed to know.

The inventor just rolled his eyes again. “Mama was right, can’t be honest with others if’n ya ain’t honest with yerself first.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

“You know what I mean, ya lost yer temper with me the last time I brought it up!”

Ford scoffed. “I am not under some deluded hope that if Stan stays, it will magically solve our issues.”

Fiddleford nodded. “Yeah, it does seem like you two are past that point. Now you’re just wantin’ to keep him around ‘cuz he’s your brother and you’ll miss him!”

The atmosphere of the room instantly went cold, and the pages of calculations in Fords hands crinkled as his grip tightened. “I would absolutely. Never. Try and keep Stan around. Just because I would miss him.” He enunciated through clenched teeth. “I… I simply… I have his best interests in mind! And the interest of my research! But I’m not trying to keep him here! He’s free to leave! He--he’s free to pursue other interests!”

McGucked raised his hands placatingly. Obviously, he had touched a nerve. “I’m sorry, I misspoke! I jus’ meant to say you care about him is all!”

“Of course I care about him! When was that ever in question!?”

Fiddleford gave him a steady look. “When ya went more than ten years without talkin’ to each other.”

Ford flushed. “It’s not like Stanley ever reached out to me! And I was the one who had a regular address and phone number! How was I supposed to talk to him, when he was always traveling!? Even our mother never got more than the occasional postcard!”

“I’m not sayin’ yer brother’s blameless in this, Ford, I’m jus’ sayin’ you could stand to actually let him know how you feel!”

“I don’t even know how I feel half the time!” The researcher burst. He was stunned by his own words, and took a moment to collect his thoughts and calm down a bit before continuing. “Stanley’s my brother, and he was such an important part of my life growing up. Of course I care about him. But the things he’s done-- the things he still does-- the way he ignores what I want because he thinks he knows best-- it infuriates me! So I suppose you could say my feelings for him are… complicated.”

Fiddleford nodded. “Family’s always complicated.”

Ford scoffed derisively. “This is considerably more complicated than the average family squabble.” 

McGucket laughed. “You’re right about that! Well, if it makes ya feel any better, I’m pretty sure Stan ain’t gonna run out on ya tonight, even if he does win it big at that casino. He’s got unfinished business here, after all.”

“That’s an odd way to refer to our continued studies of his powers, but I suppose you’re right.”

* * *

The parking lot for the Warm Springs History Museum was completely empty. Not that the casino lot across the way was packed, but it at least had a few cars parked near the entrance. Stan worried the museum might be closed, but he saw the light was on, and the door was unlocked.

There didn’t appear to be another soul in the building. Stan wandered around from one exhibit to the next, looking for anything that might be related to Ford’s mysterious benefactor. Stan wasn’t really all that surprised that he didn’t find anything. Finally, he rounded a corner and found the gift shop. A teenage girl who was probably supposed to be the cashier sat in front of a small TV. It was clearly supposed to be playing a VHS that the gift shop was trying to sell, but instead an Itira 3600 was hooked up and playing Brick Break.

“Uh, ‘scuse me?” Stan cleared his throat and knocked gently on the counter.

The girl didn’t glance away from the screen, eyes carefully following the bouncing pixel as it broke through another line of bricks. “Yeah I know you’re there I can see your reflection on the screen. We close in like ten minutes, just grab whatever you want and I’ll ring you up once I clear this level.”

“I’m not here to buy anything.”

“Then you better turn around and head back to the casino, ‘cuz bricks ain’t the only thing I can break.” 

“I don’t want anything from you either!” Stan assured her, waving his hands innocently. “I just got some questions about, uh, tribal history.”

“That’s what this museum is here for, sir.” She answered flatly.

“The thing I’m askin’ about isn’t in the museum, trust me, I checked.”

“We got history books too.”

“I doubt it’s in there either. Hey, if you’re too busy, is there someone else I can talk to?”

The girl tisked and tilted her game controller. “Yeah yeah, just a sec. I just got one more line at the top.”

Stan rolled his eyes and tapped his fingers on the counter impatiently. He supposed he couldn’t blame the girl. This was probably a very boring job. He knew most people who came this way were probably more interested in the casino, not the history of the people who had to run it just to make ends meet.

The girl finally cleared the level and put her controller down as the new level loaded in. “Ok, what’s your question.”

“Ok, this might sound stupid, but can you tell me more about what this thing is?” Stan pulled a pamphlet off the counter and drew the triangle with the eye. “I think it’s usually yellow?”

The girl raised her eyebrow in surprise when she took in Stan’s drawing. “Oh… that. You don’t see anything about that in here because that’s associated with… I guess the best word for it would be curses?”

Stan’s heart skipped a beat. “R-really? The little research I did on it beforehand said it was associated with knowledge.”

“Yeah, cursed knowledge.” The girl told him. “I’ll admit, I’m not super familiar with it. It’s kinda really ancient. When Nathaniel Northwest swindled us out of our land in Gravity Falls, we were relative newcomers. All the other tribes in the area believed the valley was cursed, because of that thing.”

Stan gulped. “What, uh, what’d it do?”

The girl put on her best storytelling voice. “Well, a thousand years ago, there was an old shaman called Modoc the Wise. He and his people worshipped that being. Until one day, Modoc learned its terrible secret. Modoc warned the people that the being they’d been worshipping was a liar, and that it would lay waste to the valley. But before he could tell them any more, the being drove him mad, and he slaughtered half his tribe before lighting himself on fire to try and stop it!”

Stan paled. “So, uh, this guy’s really bad news, huh?”

“That’s an understatement, but yeah.” The girl nodded. “Why do you want to know, anyway?”

“Uh, I live in Gravity Falls. I’ve just seen this thing on a lot of stuff, wondered what it was.”

“Ah, well, have fun living with the knowledge that your hometown is cursed!” She smiled viciously at him. “Now, it’s closing time. Are you gonna buy something or not?”

* * *

Stan tried to take his mind off things at the casino. His superhuman reflexes made him a whiz at the slots, but he had learned in the past that winning too much tended to draw unwanted attention. Of course, Stan was too busy trying to process what he’d just learned to pay much attention to his gambling, so it’s not like he could have won it big even if he was trying.

After just half-an-hour, it was clear that his heart just wasn’t in it today. Stan decided to play a round of Craps before he left, just to get in some dice rolling. Then he’d head home.

Careful. He warned himself. Don’t go callin’ that place your home. You know the second you get comfortable there is the second Ford decides he doesn’t want you around anymore.

By the time he finished, Stan managed to leave with about $20 more in his pocket than when he came in, so it wasn’t a bad night, gambling-wise. And he had at least learned something about that triangle guy. It just wasn’t good news. The trip certainly wasn’t a loss. So why did Stan feel like he hadn’t gained anything?

These thoughts weighed so heavily on his mind, that he never noticed the eyes on him as he left the casino.

“We’ve found him.” A shadowy figure spoke into his walkie-talkie.

* * *

PSM WAZF FFY OENKGK KS LELB, TPXLL QAT? YOP HGR’T PQB KEDO TF UVDI GJ YFWY FPV JRZGUUW?

[a3day]

#GMPD: Jessi (제시)

Feel how you want about it, the fact remains that she has some bonafide hit moments. I never thought I’d explore this so soon in Great Moments in Production & Delivery (GMPD) but it feels like now’s the right time. First, the Disclaimer.

An Album a Day is my exploration into the Korean music scene. This podcast and blog will cover mainstream, indie and some underground artists within the scene and provide both factual and opinionated commentary. The biggest benefit to sharing my thoughts this way is that it will hopefully expose you to more great music and exploration of your own.

Korean American music artist Jessica Ho (Korean: 호현주 [Ho Hyun-joo]) has been in the game since 2005 and her story is one of triumph, setbacks, and hiccups. The New York-born, New Jersey-raised singer, rapper, and songwriter made her debut as a solo artist who then moved into Korean hip-hop trio Lucky J. She made her final appearance with the group in 2014 and then prepared for more solo work. More specifically, her grit and American charisma was personified on the debut season of Unpretty Rapstar (2015) and set her as the second-place winner by audience vote. Since then, the artist I affectionately and teasingly refer to as Capital P (both for the c*nt power and for her shape pre-butt enhancement [I’m top heavy asl too so I know the vibes on being P-shaped lol]) has developed an entertaining catalog.

We’re not talking video content, we aren’t talking aesthetic. We’re not even talking my most favorite track by her of all time (GRAY’s production means I’m already biased sooo yeah). 

This is about the music. In no particular order, here we go.

Who Dat B (2020)

First up is this bop, where the sound engineer put a whole grown foot in the production of the first verse. From 0:14 to a few milliseconds into 0:35, autotune and spatial filters set a mood. She sits on the track, something that is common with Jessi’s delivery, but her trademark ad lib creeps in so resolutely for damn near 3 seconds and it is glorious. The crossover of the reverb and echo effects within 0:32 to 0:35 are a whole chef’s kiss moment.

Cold Blooded teaser (2021)

Laugh if you want to. Laugh if ya want. But the teaser for her most recent 2021 comeback sticks. This isn’t some magical production moment, but it’s a magical choice. Lemme explain. What we hear in the M/V teaser is what was played on set while filming the video. This is the echoey, spatial experience of the music blasting over loud speakers to help everyone stay on count as the women of Street Woman Fighter/스트릿 우먼 파이터 (SWF) do what needs to be done with this choreography. All the same, it creates that fun filter moment that makes you feel like you're standing outside the club or a party you’re hoping to get in to. Think about it! The bass is knocking, the audio’s a bit muffled, and then Jessi’s husky “Huh” comes through with just enough clarity to make you wish you were inside. That’s a great choice, baby.

Gucci (2017)

The husky voice was the meat and potatoes on this track. There’s nothing super-demanding from the music -- it’s fun and structured to let her thrive -- but Jessi sells the hell out of this track. She was in her bag and her voice was deep as hell. You see a platinum blonde woman atop some luggage in a pink cute outfit, and then she comes and drops the octaves on you immediately like a stack of weights. The music drops out for her natural baseline to milk the punch for all its worth. And she’s doin’ the thing, talkin’ mad shit right out the gate within the first few words. Regardless of comprehension, you’re bobbing along to the beat without realizing that you’re bopping to her cadence and tone. The instrumental to this song is simple as hell. You check it and you find yourself enjoying it because of the mere thought of her delivery. That’s a damn win.

염따(YUMDDA) - 9ucci REMIX (2021)

Jessi shines regularly as the sole female on a ratchet track. Fast forwarding to 1:37 (to avoid distractions) and Jessi’s perched on a custom wrapped whip and she’s going in. Her tone is right, she’s playful and flagrant, and took the O-ren Ishii approach in making sure listeners know she’s not playing because hers is the only all-English verse on this Hangul track.

The 2018 summer love track “Down” is a positive showcase of her singing chops. She won’t be blowing socks off with her vocals but you hear control and a truly unique voice amongst a scene that has a lot of similarities for perceived-success’s sake. And there’s this honorable mention for the musicality being so far left for her (and this damn commercial at 1:06 that I spent that whole summer going, “Sheesh! SHEESH!” at because she was just rising in SoKo and her tone and confident strut was everything to me! This is when I started calling her Capital P lolol) but I believe those interested in checking out more of her work have a good jump-off from this. Bye y’all.

[heytherejulietx]

HmMmm WELL I have been thinking and I'd like to enter the writing challenge *my other WIPs for other challenges and request WIPs scream* uhhhhhh song,,,, *scrolls frantically through Spotify playlist* AHHAHAHHAH YES New Romantics by Taylor Swift with uhhhhhh hold one lemme check my brain's catalog hmmmm who gives off the song vibes- lemme listen to it- AHAHHAHAH OKAY SO READER X HARRY POTTER PLEASE *throws periwinkle confetti*

This was very hectic are you alright love 😂

Okay but seriously yay thank you for participating! I can’t wait to see your entry and I’ll add you to the list right now!🧡🧡

[xuune]

oh wow i haven’t been on tumblr in so long bc mobile is shit but how tf did i forget abt ur art ??? fukcin blows me away wow. any tips on anatomy for a rly bad artist? ik practice, but i get so frustrated when it doesn’t look like what i see in my head :(

yeah lol mobile on tumblr sucks major ass now. i cant even publish drafts on there. and im in the same boat wiht you on anatomy lmao. it might look like i know what im doing, but sometimes not really. maybe im just good at deceiving ppl on the way i draw when its kinda inaccurate 

anyway, i also struggle with never really composing the shit i want, and even i tell myself to go practice anatomy but im never really granted a lot of time in my life, so i gotta make use of whatever i can find whenever i draw.

this post is actually long, so if you just want anatomy resources, you can check these out:

stuff that i made tutorials/tips on: torso/hands/pose

these are all very condensed tutorials/tips, so a lot of this is just collection of stuff that i’ve learned/noticed from others. this might be helpful, but idk man 

here’s a list of other resources for anatomy/any other refs 

this one was mentioned in the list, but its easily looked over: posemaniacs, it has different modes you can try out (timed/casual study), and its good for practicing foundations in anatomy. i paid more attention to this one when i saw a twitter post of it  

bodies in motion is a site you can also use. it has a catalog of images to see people acting something out, and you get to see all the frames of it occurring. even though you’re just looking at images, its still a reference to learn how arms, legs, or torsos move B^) its a good way to pay attention to the smaller details like the various muscles in bodies 

and honestly, check out what other ppl say too. there’s a lot of artists out there who might’ve already wrote some shit that i mentioned or have new info that i never thought about. just type in “anatomy/art tips” into any kind of search bar and you’re sure to find something useful at some point. but main takeaway i really want you to have is to seriously study from life. dont do it based on memory or anything. there’s no other general advice that i can really give besides 1) practice 2) study from life 3) dont stress out and take your time. if you want me to give a specific tip/tutorial on a body part, i can try, but the amount of depth i can give is really based on my own knowledge of it 

now for the 2nd part of this post: 

COMPOSING SHIT OR MAKING STUFF LOOK LIKE WHAT YOU EXPECTED IT TO LOOK LIKE: 

“i get so frustrated when it doesn’t look like what i see in my head :(“

i suck at it, whoever is reading this prob sucks at it (and they secretly know it too) we all gotta start somewhere. you’re kinda asking for composing stuff while also anatomy tips, but its kinda broad, so lemme mention something about composition:

use perspective grids or at least practice using them first. the best way to understand how things are supposed to look is also based around the way you’re trying to see it in, like a certain angle of some sort. here, lemme give an example where i drafted a sketch a lot: 

ok cool, got a pose i want, got the general idea, niiiiiiiiiceee. but i didnt think it was good enough, but i still managed to plan out a pose anyway with that grid on the bottom. it helped me gain a focus on how these characters were supposed to lay down on the ground, but it still wasnt good enough yet. character on top was facing their right instead of the person in front of them, which wasnt what i wanted. 

then i sketched it again. this time the “camera” of the scene was more based around the front of the characters rather than the side, and now the character is looking at the person below them. but wait, it wasnt good enough yet. i didnt like how relaxed their position looked. 

i changed the position of the character to make it seem more convincing that they were pressing hard into the ground and possibly sneering at the person below them. they held dominance over the person simply based on the way theyre positioned in the scene. the way people move suggests a lot about what is happening in the scene and what might be apparent about their character. i was able to make a pose i wanted with the help of a perspective grid, and it really does help at times. use perspective grids to help you out with making anatomy. also, dont forget that what you learn from simply observing how bodies work can help you out with giving clues to how the bodies should look at a certain angle

but am i a master at using perspective grids? no, lol. i always have to make several perspective grids while i draw as a way to convince myself that i really am drawing my shit right. 

some of the resources i listed lean into something related to perspective, so there’s that. there’s definitely tutorials out there to understand how to use perspective grids, so i suggest you search those up too. there’s a program called carapace thats specific for creating perspective grids, but im not sure where the original download site is, but if you want to know what it looks like or where to download it, google is your friend. if you use digital media and your drawing software offers a perspective grid function, then i highly suggest you learn how to use it. 

i wouldnt say that there’s a specific thing you need to learn first (i.e. learning perspective before anatomy), but if you want to just simply learn how to draw anatomy, then go ahead and find whatever you can. if you wanna create some cool ass poses with some interesting perspective shots, then take what you learn from anatomy and apply it to how you practice your perspective shots or vice versa. there’s a lot of variety in what you can do and how you can do it simultaneously with something else to learn something out of it B^) 

[canid-slashclaw]

The Outliers - A Guildwars Love Story

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8

Chapter 9

The following morning was cool and breezy. Kaleb slept off the effects of the alcohol and was - for the most part - sober. A couple of his buddies helped him get home without any issue and he managed to sneak back inside without his parents even being aware. He was also well aware that if his parents found out he had come home drunk, he would never have heard the end of it.

Kaleb made his way to downtown Claypool hoping to find the library. To his fortune he found that the building lay adjacent to the town college. He approached closer and could see throngs of students bustling in and out of the revolving doors, clumsily bumping into each other as they tried to squeeze into the all-too-narrow passageway.

On more than one occasion, his knees almost slammed into the faces of a couple of Asuran exchange students. As expected, they uttered a slew of perfunctory insults that were aimed at his large size.

Just what the hell is a 'booka' anyway? He pondered as he made his way past the librarian and towards the cataloging directory.

His eyes carefully scanned the various topics. There were certain ones he was specifically looking for, but was a bit too embarrassed to ask.

Non-fiction section - aisles 10 through 20;

    Reproduction - aisle 15.   

    Romance - aisle 17.

He discreetly made his way towards aisle fifteen hoping to find some information. Scanning the titles, looked to see if anything matched what he was looking for.

Human reproduction, The Human Reproductive Cycle, Stress on the Human Reproductive System.

No, no, and nothing. He thought as he perused more titles.

Mating habits of Asuran.

Close but not quite. Let's see... cee, cee, cee. Ca, ce, ch. Change... Charge... Charr. That's it!

Charr: their Ecology, Physiology and Reproductive Cycle.

Mating Rituals of the Charr. Vol. XI.

Bingo!

He began to quickly flip the pages until he saw the topic he had been looking for. Interleaved amongst the Krytan text were several poorly drawn illustrations of what appeared to be two oversized cats in a mating position. As he began to read some of the text, he suddenly heard being called by an all-too familiar voice.

"Kal! Just what are you doing in a library of all places?"

Quickly snapping the oversized book shut, Kaleb turned around to face the individual in question.

"Oh. Uh. Hi Rachel. Aren't you supposed to be in school?"

"Hello, I'm between classes, moron! What are you doing here anyway? Mom sending you here to check on me?" His sister said sarcastically.

As he started to back away hoping she wouldn't see the incriminating book, he heard another sharp voice coming from below.

"Watch it! Clumsy bookah!"

The irate asuran darted right by him, its floppy ears brushing up against his hip.

"Sorry," he said as he tried to hide the book from yet another set of potentially prying eyes.

"Hey Glempt. Did ya find that book Ella was talking about?"

The small male elevated his oversized head then crossed his arms in a haughty gesture. "Hmph! I have come to the inescapable conclusion that dear miss Ella has been endeavoring every attempt to set me up for ruin. That girl will stop at nothing to be at the top of the class."

"Eh. No worries. You beat her out on the last exam. She can go suck on her pride."

"Okay. I gotta scat," Kaleb said as he made every effort to hide the book from his sister and the snooty Asuran. "Nice to meet you, Glempt."

"We never did..." the asuran replied arrogantly.

"Kal. What's the book in your hand anyway? Lemme see it!" She pleaded.

"It's nothing really. Just checking out a couple of books on culinary cuisines, that's all. Really boring stuff."

Kaleb knew his back was against a proverbial wall.

"Cuisines in the reproduction aisle? Um. You're just weird!"

Glempt turned around to look at the oversized human. "Charr: their Ecology, Physiology and Reproductive Cycle. Volume Eight is decidedly missing from the repository. I happened to observe the gap between the other titles. And. Ohh. The Mating Rituals of the Charr. Vol. XI. appears to have absconded as well. Very interesting!"

Nosey little big-eared twit! Kaleb thought to himself as he felt the walls closing in around him.

"Reproductive cycles of charr? Charr mating rituals? Ewww! That's just gross!"

"Shut your pie-hole, sis!" Kaleb snapped.

"Well. It is quite easy for me to deduce that your elder sibling is a bona fide pervert. I'm leaving!"

"Watch it bud! Otherwise I'll knock those shark teeth out of that fat head of yours!"

Moments later, the librarian came rushing over as she pointed her finger at the bickering trio.

"All of you... hush right this instant! Don't you people know where you are? I could practically hear you all the way down the hall. The next time any of you says anything above a whisper, I'm going to ask you to leave. Am I clear?"

Kaleb nodded. "Yes ma'am."

Rachel and the asuran nodded as well.

By the time the bickering was over, Kaleb had checked out some additional books, mostly on subjects involving cuisines and wagon making. He didn't want to give those who saw what he was checking out the wrong impression. As he got to the checkout desk, he noticed his sister standing behind him with her own set books. She made numerous ugly faces whenever he looked her way.

"Your card, sir." The librarian asked in a shrill, monotone voice.

Kaleb frisked his pockets then quickly realized that he didn't even have a card.

"I can't seem to locate it. Anyway, I can register for one?"

"Didn’t you mean to say, may I? But yes… a card will take three days to process. Do you have a valid ID?" The librarian was quick to correct Kaleb’s grammatical faux pas. 

"No." He huffed.

"I'm sorry, sir. Without a proper ID, you cannot check out any of these books."

"Oh. Come on, ma'am. Yer talking to a local war hero here! Practically everyone in town knows who I am. Surely you know who I am, right?"

"You are holding up the line, sir. I will say this once more: you will need..."

Kaleb abruptly finished her sentence for her. "I know, I know. ...a proper ID, yadda, yadda, yadda."

"Rawarrr!" Rachel giggled while making a catcalling noise.

"Just stop it Rae!"

"Okay. Never mind, then. Sorry for wasting your time, ma'am."

As Kaleb was about to leave, his younger sister suddenly grabbed his stack of books then presented the librarian her ID card. She then looked up at him with a devilish grin.

"He's my brother. Here you go ma'am. I'll check them out for him," she said as she set her own books on top of the ones he wanted to check out.

Her older brother looked at her skeptically wondering what kind of angle she was trying to play.

"You're being generous all of the sudden. What's your game, sis?"

She just smiled and grinned. "Nothing."

As the Grimwald siblings left the library, Rachel shoved the books he wanted to check out straight into his midsection. "Here! You can have these nasty books. Pervert!"

"Rawarrrrrr! Rarrrwww!"

"By the wrath of Balthazar, that's annoying! You weren't being generous back there, were you? What's your angle?"

Rachel walked coyly beside her big brother and grimaced. "You muck out the stalls and clean out the troughs from now on."

"Or what? Tell mom?"

"That you've been checking out kitty porn? Try me!"

"You wouldn't dare."

"Rawarrr!"

"Maybe I should convince my new girlfriend to eat you. At least I won't have to put up with anymore of this nonsense," Kaleb said with a chuckle.

"So you admitted it. She is your girlfriend!"

"Not in the way you are thinking, sis. Our relationship is purely platonic. Do you even know what that big word even means?"

"Duh! Of course I do. So why the dirty books?"

"They aren't dirty. They're educational."

"Sure they are. Uh, huh. Whatever you say, brother." His sister gave a snarky laugh.

Kaleb grabbed her by her shoulder then pulled her in for a hug. "Y'know... in spite of being a royal pain in the backside, I still love ya, sis. Don't you forget it."

Giving him a slight hug in return, Rachel pressed up against his chest as she pointed towards a refreshment shop down the road. "Have you tried their beverages? They are out of this world!"

"Come to think of it, I could go for a little snack myself."

When they arrived home, Kaleb opened the front door for his sister. As she walked in, he leaned close to her ear and said in a hushed tone. "You promise not to tell our folks about those books."

"Promise to do my chores, then."

"Deal."

"Okay. Deal."

Rachel turned to her brother as she picked some flax seeds out of her teeth. "Yanno. I kinda felt self-conscious about eating that salad that I had ordered from that sylvari clerk. It felt like I was eating her cousin."

Kaleb couldn't help but laugh at his sister's comment as he commented. "I will never look at a salad the same way again."

[dammitdex]

~INTRODUCTION~

dried petals pressed between the pages of a leather-bound book, animal bones scattered around an overcrowded altar, peering over the edge of a stone bridge on a foggy morning, mediating on the moss-covered rocks next to a babbling brook, becoming friends with the corvids who present gift in return for food, a different band tee for each day of the week, the scent of marijuana lingering on clothes long after the smoking has ceased.

— && guests may mistake me as ( gregg sulkin ), but really i am ( dexter wood + cis male + he/him ) and my DOB is ( 10/31/1994 ). i am applying for the ( yoga instructor ) position as part of the EHP and would like to live in suite ( 307 ). i should be hired because i am ( grounded & compassionate ), but i can also be ( disorderly & forgetful ) at times. personally, i like to ( press flowers, collect oddities & meditate ) when off the clock, but that won’t interfere with work.

Hey y’all! Im PJ, 20 years old and I use he/him pronounds. My timezone is EST, New York babeyyy! Some possibly interesting stuff about me is that I work at an aquarium and I’ve gone cage diving with sharks. Other than that I’m pretty boring, so here’s my boy Dexter! I promise he’s a lot more interesting.

Dexter comes from a long line of Pagan Witches who had fled from Salem around the time of the trials. It wasn’t until after that the bloodline made their way back and they’ve been in the town ever since.

He’s currently the owner of Enchanted, his family business. It was originally his grandfather’s, then his mother’s, and it was passed down to him after both of his parents passed away in an accident two years ago. He takes great pride in the little shop.

He decided that he needed to see more of the world. He hired more workers along with a distant cousin to take over the store and left to travel the world. He’s been in Chicago for a little less than a year now but still travels back home every once in awhile to check in on the store.

Even though he lives in the minimalist room, 307, he’s put his own little decorations throughout his room. There are plants and crystals, shiny object and skulls, and even a few mini altars spread out. It’s his little sanctuary.

He somehow managed to become friends with the corvids who live in the town. He leaves food and shinies on the rooftop and the birds give him gifts. More shinies, cool rocks, and sometimes even money. He keeps a detailed catalog of all of the gifts he’s received including where, when, what, and which bird it was. It’s the only order that he has in his life really. He might have a small obsession.

Dex is obsessed with the woods. If he’s not at work or in his room, he’s out trying to find some woods to hang out in. Hugging the trees, collecting plants, meditating next to the streams. He loves feeling the energy of the Earth around him; it’s his happy place.

He believes that all life is valuable and has a purpose from the smallest ant to the largest hale. Because of that, he refuses to kill anything. All bugs end up being relocated outside if someone has an issue with them, however he has plenty of spider friends living around his apartment back home in Salem.

Dex is generally a pretty good guy. He just wants to help people and heal, whatever he can. But he’s also pretty forgetful. Like, he’s not sure what the hell he put into that jar but he’s loving the energy it gives off. Thank god he has his shop so that he can ship things to himself otherwise he;d probably be out of herbs more often than not.

Wanted Connections:

Okay lemme preface this by saying I want ALL of the connections. Literally all of them. But here’s a few basic suggestions if anyone wants to scoop them up!

- Childhood friends? Maybe someone he knew back in Salem, could be from preschool to high school!

- Fellow yogis! Maybe someone he’s met through yoga whether he instructs them or they’ve gone to classes together?

- Clients? Dex is more than happy to have herbs or crystals sent from his shop to anyone who asks! He also does tarot readings.

- Friends! He’s the kind of dude to want to be friends with everyone and anyone even if they might not wanna be friends with him.

- Maybe a love interest? I dunno! Just hit me up for any and all plots and I’m down for it all!!

You can reach me on here or on discord at pjnfluff#3272 or you can like this and I’ll slide into your dms;)

[themfchase]

Regret. PT II.

Jeon Jungkook x reader

‒ regret. (m)

✎  [6k words]

genre: angst, mature, idol!au

warnings: heavy angst, mentions of suicide attempt, cheating, dirty talk, mentions of smut Part III 

masterlist

Discription: It has been a few years since you last saw Jungkook, the boy who had broken your heart. You never wanted to see him again, and surely not now that you had gotten your life back together piece, by piece. Engaged to someone you liked, but not loved, your job as a songwriter was more successful than ever, and now you see yourself inside of the Bighit Entertainment building, ready to enter a meeting with the biggest Kpop group of all time, Bangtan. 

A/N: So, this is the sequel. Hope you guys like it. And lemme know what you think, ok ily, bye. 

It had been 2 years.  Two years since you stopped believing in love since you wore your shield and never let your walls down for anyone. It had taken you too long to get over what had happened to you. Your overdose, even if accidentally - That’s whats you told others, that’s what you told yourself. - still haunted your every move. Everyone around you started treating you differently after that, hovering, and being careful not to hurt your feelings. At the end of the day, everyone was fake. And you didn’t really care. You only really cared about two people in your life. Your best friend Wendy and your fiance Jihun. You were together for almost a year and everything happened so fast, dating, sleeping together, seeing each other almost ever weekend and then he proposed and you actually didn’t feel all that in love with him, but if you were to settle, he was the perfect one to do it with. He had a good job, he wasn’t clingy, he seemed very in love with you and that’s all you needed. Someone to love you more then you loved them.  After you left the clinic, you had almost four notebooks full of songs. That was all you had to distract you, to pour out your feelings, and when you finally left, you felt as if you had to do something with them. So, using a fake name you started selling your music. Eventually, big Kpop groups started to record them, and they became huge hits. Everyone knew about Persephone, the song writer that was taking over the Kpop scenario. You hated Kpop, not because the music was bad, or because it wasn’t your type of jam, but mainly because you knew what boys in Kpop were like.  Of course, it came as a surprise to you when a company you were very aware of contacting you. Bighit. When you got the email your heart stopped.  “Is everything ok Y/N?” JiHun asked as he heard me gasp. I must have looked completely shocked. Eyes staring into your phone as if you got a life treat, mouth slightly open and your breath out of pace. “Y/N?” He called you again.  You shake your head and look at him, then back at your phone.  “No, yeah, everything is fine, babe, just work stuff.” You said as you sat down on the couch of your apartment. Everything was in boxes or wrapped in bubble wrap, ready to go in some box. You were moving in with Jihun after the wedding and you had to get everything done before your honey moon. You read the email over and over again, not sure as to what to do about it. 

Dear Persephone,  We are so pleased to have gotten your new music catalog from your manager.  The songs are amazing! Congratulations.  But we have a proposal for you that we think might be in the best interest of both parties. How about we schedule a meeting?  Att, Bang PD Nim. You just kept reading it, over and over. It might not even be for Bangtan, calm down. You argued with yourself mentally. It was Bighit after all, it was PD Nim. You closed your eyes for a second, your heart beating so loud in your chest you were afraid Jihun might hear it. What if it was for Bangtan? You swore to yourself never to cry about the boy who broke your heart ever again, but... for some reason, the pain was there, it was faint and barely noticeable, but it was there. You swallowed, feeling your mouth dry, you were panicking. You stood up and grabbed your jacket.  “I’m going for a walk... Ok? I’ll be right back.” You told your fiance and he just smiled in agreement.  You walked for and hour before you stopped at the last place you would imagine. You just stood there and looked up at the building you haven’t seen in two years. You knew he didn’t live there anymore, but still, the memory of the both of you ending it for good was still imprinted in your memory as if it was yesterday. At that very spot, you were standing as he lied so cruelly in your face. But you were over it, weren’t you? You asked yourself not knowing the answer. You were older, more mature, more secure of yourself and to top it all, you were engaged. You were over it! You sat down on the curb of the sidewalk and took out your phone. It was cold, you could see the air leaving your lungs and you knew your cheeks were a little red. You opened your email, ever single tap on the screen your heart skipping a beat. As you tapped reply you closed your eyes for a moment, maybe trying to gain courage or just hovering over the idea of seeing him again, and then you just replied.  Hello Mr. Bang. It would be my pleasure to work with you. Please let me know a day and time so we can discuss whatever proposal you have for me. Thank you for the opportunity. Best Regards,  Perse.  You locked your phone and then finally let the air out of your lungs. You didn’t even know you were holding it in until you saw it leaving your mouth into the cold air.  You had made your decision, and it was to be professional. You were very good at what you did, so, whatever they had to offer would come easily for you.  You felt better, better with yourself, your thoughts and as you walked away from that building yet again, it didn’t feel painful, it just felt like closure. 

You weren’t nervous. 

As a matter of fact, you were very confident. You had decided to wear a black tight Lycra dress, a leather jacket, some combat boots and a necklace that Jihun had gotten you with his name on it.   As you walked into the building you checked your phone, you were twenty minutes early, and went up to the receptionist. You gave her your fake name and said you had an appointment with PD Nim, she checked the schedule and gave you a key card so you could use the elevators.  When it reached the floor the receptionist said your meeting would be held, you walked over to the meeting room, and knocked. A few seconds later you were greeted by a man you didn’t know.  “You must be Persephone,” The man said as he gestured for you to enter the room. “It nice to put a face on the name, we had no idea what you looked like” He smiled.  “Please, call me Perse.” You said and smiled. As you entered the room, you saw Bang PD Nim, he smiled and got up from his chair.  “Perse, so nice to meet you,” He said in a low voice. You were a very big fan of his, and for him to know your music was just a honer.  “Oh no, Mr. Bang, the pleasure is all mine,” You said as you smiled and shook his hand in awe. “Please, take a seat, the boys are just finishing practice and should be here any minute now.” He said as he sat back down in his chair, the other man sat beside him.  You took a seat opposite from where they were, in the middle of the table while you saw the other seven chairs beside the men.  The three of your started small talk, they asked you about traffic and about the weather outside, and even if you weren’t nervous about seeing the boy you haven’t seen in so long, you were nervous to be talking to PD Nim. Not to long after you guys engaged in talking about some of the songs you wrote that were charting your heard a knock on the door, and the man who had greeted you stood up to open it.  The first one you saw was Jin. He was slightly sweaty and smiled and bowed as he walked into the room. You got up from your chair and bowed back. Then came Namjoon, Hoseok, and Tae, they also smiled and bowed and you smiled back. They sat near PD. Your heart started beating fast as you saw Jimin and Yoongi come in and you bowed down, maybe a little too much, maybe a little to long, so when he came, at last, you couldn’t really see him. When you got up again, your eyes met and as if he had seen a ghost he just stopped mid way into his bow. He looked shocked, he looked completely and utterly scared. His hair was pitch black, a little longer than you remember, his eyes still had the childlike look, but he looked more manly now. You knew that if you kept staring the others might notice, so you looked back at the other boys and smiled.  “Nice to meet you all, I’m Persephone.” And you sat back down, avoiding Jungkook completely.  It took him a few more seconds before he shook his head and sat down staring straight at the table. You glanced at him. He didn’t look so different, he looked a little more mature. More muscles. You then noticed his hair was a little wet from sweat, witch reminded you of the last time you saw him. You felt little nausea for a second but regained your posture.  “Boys, you are familiar with Persephone’s work.” Bang PD, started. “We asked her to come here today because we want her to help you guys wright music”. You looked at PD Nim, unaware of the whole thing. “The idea, Perse, even though we love what your manager has sent us, is that the boys be a part of the creation process of this new album”. He continued. “And we love your work and think you could be an asset for them.” You nodded. Not sure if you liked the idea of spending time with Jungkook in a studio, but this was your job, wasn’t it? You bit your lower lip and Jungkook looked at you something different in his eyes, but you didn’t look back.  “How do they work with harmonies? Do any of you play any instruments?” You looked from PD Nim to the boys. Yoongi raised his hand.  “I play the piano and produce some stuff sometimes, but RM and Jungkook are producing as well.” Hearing his name said out loud made you shift in your seat.  You nodded, and your eyes met Jungkook’s again. He was observing you. He was looking at every inch of you. How different you looked even thought you looked the same at the same time. You had changed so much in the last two years, and you knew that is was for the better.  “Ok, I can work with that.” You smiled as you looked at PD Nim again. “I’m down for it, just let me know when we start cause I have something coming up.” You then realized you were getting married in a few months. PD Nim raised his eyebrows curiously.  “Are you working with someone else? Because we might have you sign an exclusivity contract for the time you work with the boys, we want your full attention.” You smiled a little wider as you felt your cheeks blush a little. 

“No sir, I’m getting married, actually”. Your hand automatically went up to your necklace and all eyes followed. You heard someone choke, and you knew who it was. The boy's attention shifted to him as he regained composure. PD Nim smiled and congratulated you as for the other boys, except one and you felt a burn in the side of your face as Jungkook stared at you. You refused to look at him, this all started to feel a little overwhelming for you.  “Well ok then! I think we’re done here, I’m going to have to leave you guys cause I have another meeting, but feel free to talk and schedule everything, we’ll have someone call your manager to discuss payment and contracts, ok?” You stood up. You dress a little high up your thigh’s and you bowed as you took the man’s hand. You felt a pair of eyes stare at them. As soon as he left you sat back down, looking at the boys. You had never actually met them when you where with Jungkook, so it was most likely they didn’t know who you were.  “Hey, congrats on the song charting, I think it’s amazing,” Hoseok said breaking the silence. He was so cute and smiley that it made you feel a lot better for a moment. “Thank you! I had that song for a long time, it was nice to see Twice record it and turn it into something people could relate to.” You smiled at him and he nodded. “But hey, I’m in a room with BTS the biggest Kpop group in the world so, I’m not feeling so bad right now.” You joked and the boys laughed, all except Jungkook, again. He was still unable to gasp the idea that you were in a room with him. He looked down at the table giving you the impression he wasn’t even paying attention to you anymore. “But tell me, do any of you try writing music?” Yoongi started talking about some songs he had, and Namjoon as well. They said they were only rough demos, but agreed to let you take a look.  “Also, Jungkook wrote some stuff a couple of years ago, but we were in our ‘I Need U” phase so we didn’t get the opportunity to work on anything, but for what I remember they were pretty good, you could show her, right Jungkook?” Yoongi asked and the boy looked up at him.  I looked at Jungkook, he looked so troubled and nervous. He looked at me, our eyes meeting yet again. It was like fire. I felt as if every time we looked at each other the tectonic plate of the entire world just collapsed. He then looked away, letting me breathe normally again.  “Sure, why not?” It was the first time he spoke the entire time we were in the room. His voice sent a shiver down my spine. I had forgotten what he sounded like, I had forgotten how much his voice had an effect on me.  “Ok, so, give us your phone number, we can create a group chat so we can schedule everything just fine,” Namjoon said and I agreed.  When the meeting was finally over, the man who now I knew was the boy's manager opened the door for me. Everyone left the little room to enter the hallway.  “Well, it was nice meeting you all, we should talk soon,” I said and they bowed as they said their goodbyes. You turned you back at them and started walking to the elevator. You knew that you had to leave as soon as possible. As the elevator opened you entered, feeling a bit of relief as you hadn’t noticed how fast and loud your heart was beating. But as the doors closed a hand stopped them and the last person on earth you wanted to be alone with got in and presses the button so the door closed.  “You have a thing for elevators, don’t you?” He said with a straight face. “Oh no... We’re not doing this.” You decided to ignore the comment and crossed your arms over your chest.  He sighed and bit his lower lip.  “Y/N...” He started, the way your name left his mouth, the way it reminded you of the last time you spoke. Anger started building up. “It's Perse to you, or Noona, make your pick.” You looked him in the eyes and it all came back, rushing thorugh you like a tsunami of feelings. The pain, the anger, all the suffering, you tried your best not to show your emotions, and you had learned you were actually very good at it, but with this boy, the only boy you had ever loved and hated in your entire life, it almost felt impossible. Jungkook had this look, as if he wanted to say so much, but didn’t have the courage. He then looked devastated as he remembered why you left in the first place.  Silence filled the air, as the elevator sound was all you heard. Jungkook looked at your necklace, his brows meeting.  “Your getting married.” He said, with pain in his voice. “I’m happy for you.” He lied.   You shook your head, not believing the way he was acting. It was the same pity act from when you broke up. As the elevator came to a stop, you shot out of it, not looking back, but you knew he would come after you. When you heard the first syllable from your name you turned around raising your hand and stopping him.  “Look... Let’s keep this professional, ok?” You started and he clenched his jaw. “I am not Y/N, I am not your ex... Whatever we were, I am Persephone, a song writer, a very good one, and you will respect that and keep all our encounters strictly professional, understand?” He didn’t move, but you knew he wasn’t going to argue. “No more running after me, no more chasing me off buildings, I got over you, you should do the same.” And with that, he raised an eyebrow and smirked.  “Who said I never got over you?” His voice was soft but full of pride. “I’m not the one who went to extremes after our break up.” And with that, you just shook your head and smiled bitterly.  “Fuck you, Jungkook”. And you turned around to walk away from him. Anger building up inside you as you finally left the building and walked to your car.  The truth was that you hated him. Hated him with every inch of your existence. 

The first two weeks working with the boys went smoothly, Yoongi and Namjoon were very talented and their songs were amazing even though you had to change some things here and there. They were also very funny and fun, especially Yoongi. He was amazing, very talented and of course, hot. You couldn’t help but stare at him when we played the piano, it was just mesmerizing.  You already had three songs done, and that was a record for you. Three songs in two weeks. You were happy writing with the boys, not even bothered when Jungkook would appear and ask Yoongi something and just competently ignore you, now and then. When you got the message from Namjoon scheduling a writing session with Jungkook you thought about saying no. But you were the one that had suggested being professional, so you said yes. And as you walked to his studio with a cup of coffe in your hand you stopped, reading the words on his door. “Golden Closet”. You laughed and knocked. You heard him shout a ‘come in’ and you opened the door.  He was sitting in his chair, looking at the screen of his McBook, playing around with Protools. He was in a black hoodie and ripped blue jeans, Timberlands on his feet. You closed the door behind you and stepped in, sitting down on a black sofa and taking out your little black notebook. When he finally looked at you he leaned back on his chair, resting his head. He looked amazing. Like he always did.  “Hi.” He said with a soft voice. You rolled your eyes as you looked up at him.  “Good morning”. You answered coldly. “So... Let’s get started.”  Jungkook did nothing, taking in your cold persona before he smiled. Not a sweet smile, or a shy one, just a bad, full of cruelty one, just like the terrible person he was. And that same smile sent a shiver down your spine because you recognized it. You knew what it meant. “You know, it’s actually really weird being alone in a room with you.” He said and you gave up on trying to ignore him.  You sighed, resting your notebook by your side and looking at him. “And why is that, Jungkook?” You asked just for his amusement. He was like a child that wanted attention.  “Well... I don’t know if you remember, but you were my first, so... It’s kind of a big deal for me.” He smirked.  He was a dick. He was an utterly, big, motherfucking dick.  “Well... I wouldn’t really remember, you weren’t very good you know?” You shot back at him and his eyes darkened. He was offended, his pride was hurt because he didn’t know if you were lying or not.  “Oh, we can change that.” He said with lust in his eyes. “You just gotta ask baby.”  His words made you shiver, you could only imagine what he might have learned in these two years after you broke up. You felt the hair in the back of your neck stand, and you thanked god that you wore long sleeves. The fact that he called you baby only made things worse. Of course, your body would react to him, it’s not like he stopped being attractive from day to night, you couldn’t deny he was hot, oh and had gotten hotter, bigger. You bit your lower lip, trying to fight the annoyance in you.  “In your dreams”. You said with anger in your voice starting to gather your things and walk to the door. You weren’t gonna do this. You couldn’t. Not with the effect he had on you. As soon as you reached for the door, you felt his hand on your wrists, he turned you around and pinned you to the door, raising your hand atop of your head, his body glued to yours. Your heart started beating loudly in your chest from the surprise, but mainly because of how close he was.  “Get the fuck off”. You said with a shaky voice, your breath hitched.  “I can fucking feel the way your heart is beating right now, and I bet you don’t want me to let you go, I bet you can feel the way you're getting hotter, and hotter”. He said in a low husky voice, his breath brushing on your lips and he looked down at them as they parted. “Why are you going to deny this? Since the moment I first saw you in that meeting room until now, I can tell how I make you feel, how your body reacts to me, don’t try to fucking lie.”  “Oh, no... That’s your specialty, not mine”. You attacked him, your breath was loud and heavy. Your body was indeed getting hot, the way his body pressed against yours, the way his pink plush lips looked like as he hovered you.   “Always a fucking bitch.” He pressed his body harder onto you and you could feel the bulge in his pants.  You held in a groan as you felt his erection. His smell was just as intoxicating as you remembered. The way he was looking at your lips with so much hunger almost made you fear for yourself. He was different. He was more experienced now, and you couldn’t help but feel curious.  “You know...” He started, brushing your lips with his so lightly you could barely feel it. “I bet you are wet right now.” You closed your eyes as his voice started to hypnotize you, his smell, the touch of his fingers on your wrist. “I bet this is the fastest you’ve gotten wet in so long, faster then any other guy every made you, even that pathetic little fiance of yours”. And as if you were brought back to reality, your eyes shot open, and you raised your knee, hitting the boy where you knew would hurt the most. He let you go and fell down on his knees, grouping his groin as he felt the pain sink in.  “You bitch.” He said through the groans of pain.  “If you ever do that again, I will make sure that dirty little dick of yours never works again”. You threatened and left the room.  You ran to the bathroom, not afraid Jungkook would come after you, but mainly because you needed to breathe. You turned on the water and washed your face as you felt the heat in your body start to cool off. You couldn’t believe yourself. If he had left to mention you fiance, you would have given into him. You would have cheated. You. Cheated. The idea made you sick. How could you? How could you let the boy who had broken you have such an effect on you? And worse, when you were engaged. You felt like you were about to cry so you shook it off.  No, you weren’t going to cry because of him. Oh no. Not again. Not ever. But you still had a whole day of work, and you had to face him or else people would get suspicious and the last thing you wanted was people hovering into your personal life.   As you made your way back to his studio you put up your walls. It doesn’t matter that its Jungkook, just do your freaking job. You scolded yourself and opened the door seeing the boy on the floor, still trying to recover from the recent attack.  “Get up, we’ve got work to do”. You said as you sat back down on the couch.  “Baby, you came back so soon.” He said, with sarcasm and pain in his voice. He started to get up slowly, sitting back in his chair as he took a deep breath. “Now, that wasn’t professional at all, Y/N.” He said with a smirk on his face.  You just wanted to slap him. Slap that dirty smirk off his face.  When you threatened to leave again he stopped you, holding your hand.  “Ok, ok, I’ll stop. Just sit down...” The way he held your hand made you hold your breath, and you looked at him. “Please.” He asked as he looked you in the eyes. You fought the urge to hold his hand tighter, so you just pulled your hand from his and sat back down.  Jungkook wasn’t wrong when he said you had gotten wet faster then any other man had ever made you get, and the discomfort between your thighs was there as he faced his notebook and started opening a new session.  You ignored the familiar feeling in your gut and concentrated on the song he was now playing.  “This is something a wrote a couple of years ago, we can maybe work on it? It’s called The Truth Untold”. He said without looking at you.  As the song started playing, Jungkook laid back on his chair again, his hands on his lap. Was he nervous? He played around with his fingers as the first four notes of the piano played. When his voice came on the speakers you remembered why you had fallen in love with him so long ago.  It was perfect.  His voice was so beautiful and full of life. Just as you remembered. You paid attention to the lyrics, this sad story of how you could love someone that might never love you again, and the whole idea of burring yourself deeper and deeper each time with your flaws and mistakes. Why was he showing you this song? Why this one? It felt as if he had written it about something that was too familiar to you. You felt the whole you thought you had healed ache in pain after so long, burning so vividly and real as if it was happening all over again. Your heart racing, your palms sweaty, the nausea, the dizziness. You felt the ball build up in your throat, and you knew what would happen next.  “Stop.” You asked with your weak voice.  You closed your eyes, pulling back the tears.  “What? Do you not like it?” He said looking at you. He then noticed your facial expression, looking down at his hands as he noticed why you asked him to stop.  You two must have been silent for about ten minutes, just taking in the pain of the way things ended between the two of you.  “I’m so sorry.” He finally said, his voice so full of regret and sorrow.  You looked up at him, he still stared at his hands. Then you realized.. “That’s the first time you’ve apologized.” Your voice was so low, he almost didn’t hear you. He looked at you, resting his head on the chair.  “I am... Truly. Deeply.” And you knew he wasn’t lying. “Nothing can change what I did, and what it meant to you, but... I never want to make anyone suffer the way I made you suffer.”  You took in his words. You didn’t even know you wanted to hear them until he said it. The way he was talking, the way he was admitting to his fault, he had matured. And it almost felt as if you could forgive him. But deep down... You still couldn’t trust him. Maybe you would never trust him again.  “I wondered every day since that day how you’ve been. I’ve asked Wendy multiple times and she refused to say anything, so I just assumed you were good. But then I found out about the overdose, the clinic and it hit me... I was no good for you. I had to leave you alone, I had to make sure I would never hurt you again.” You just heard the new information, you didn’t know he had gone after you, you thought he had given up completely, and somehow, knowing that he went after you made everything even harder to bare. “Why would you do that? Why would you harm yourself because of me?” There was so much pain in his eyes that it almost matched your own.  “Because I loved you Jungkook...” And you didn’t even know why you were admitting it. “I loved you with all my heart and you broke me in a way that I felt I wouldn’t be able to endure”. You vomited your words, your eyes glued to his. “The fact that you didn’t love me after everything was too much for me.”  “But I did love you... Damn you are the only girl I ever loved.” Your heart stopped for a second. He didn’t say was he said are. “Why are you here? Why would accept this job and put yourself through this?”  “Because I don’t love you anymore.” And your body felt weird. Almost as if you were lying. His brows met in pain as he heard your words. “I wanted this job, and even though I knew you would be here, I knew I could do it because I am ok with it, I moved on, I got over it... it doesn’t even matter anyway, I’m engaged.” You tried to reassure yourself.  “Do you love him?” He asked and the question startled you. He wasn’t looking at you now... He just stared at his legs. You opened your mouth, but nothing came out.  “That’s none of your business.” You got up, nervous. You had to go, you had to leave. Jungkook saw your struggle, but he wanted an answer.  He got up and stopped in front of you.  “No, answer me.” He said, so close for the second time in one day. “If you tell me you love him I’ll let you go, I’ll let you go forever, for good.” There was something in his voice. There was this tiny sound of hope in his words.  You couldn’t say anything, you just tried to pass him, but he again held your wrists, stopping you from moving.  “Say it.” He demanded. “Say you love him, tell me that you want to be with him, that he’s the one for you.” And as you felt the tears build up in your eyes and the pain strike you, you just looked at Jungkook and shook your head.  “I can’t.” You said and you felt his heart beating in his chest. His breath was a little louder.  “Then why? Why are you with him? Why are you marrying someone you don’t love?” He asked, his brows furrowed.  “Because Jungkook!” You started getting angry. “I needed someone to make me forget, I needed someone to do what you couldn’t. Someone who would care for me and think only of me, someone who would love me as much as I loved you!” Your tears started falling down on your cheeks. You didn’t have the straight to fight them anymore. 

“And did you?” He asked, now closer then ever, his chest pressed against yours. “Forget me?”   You stared into his eyes, you couldn’t say it. You couldn’t let him know. You couldn’t go through this again, not like this, not with him. But he already knew the answer. He already knew that you had thought of him every single day of your life. Wondering what it would have been like if he hadn’t made that mistake. If he hadn’t hurt you so bad.  “Come back to me.” He whispered and closed his eyes as he rested his forehead on yours, letting go of your wrists and cupping your face. “Please... Come back to me.”  And you felt your body hurt, the way he begged for you to be his again. The way you felt how eager he was to hold you again. The regret in his eyes, his voice. You knew he wasn’t trying to trick you, you knew he was being truthful. But the image you dreaded just came flashing back into your head. Him inside another girl. His words when he said he owed you nothing. And you just couldn’t. You loved yourself more than this, even though you really wanted him. Even tough you had never loved anyone more then you loved him. You just couldn’t.  “No”. And you pulled back from him. Looking into his eyes, you saw the pain so clear and so vivid. He was broken, just as broken as you were.  “Y/N... Please.” He begged again. Trying to get close to you. “I love you... I love you so much.” And with each word you felt as if there was someone stabbing your chest. Him admitting to loving you after so long just made you feel like screaming, running. Not from him, but to him. But it hurt so much you were afraid you wouldn’t be able to bare it again. “Please, give me a chance to prove to you that I’ve changed, that I would never hurt you again.”  “Don’t you see Jungkook? Your words that are supposed to make me feel happy only hurt me. Only make me feel broken and devastated.” You took another step back. “I can’t trust you, I can’t come back to someone that only makes me hurt every time I look at them.”  And with that, he backed away. Looking as if he had lost a long and tiring battle.  “I never wanted to make you feel that way about me, about us.” He put both hands in his pockets and looked down.  And as if you were breaking your own heart all over again. You said what you needed to say to assure yourself he wouldn’t come after you again. 

“You should have thought of that two years ago.” And you started walking towards the door. Jungkook didn’t look back, he didn’t turn around, but once again, you held your breath and felt your heart sink as he said.  “Y/N... I’m not giving up. I’m gonna prove it to you... I’m gonna win you back no matter what it takes.” And there was a part of you. Not a small one. That wanted him to succeed.