#less about the event itself and more about surrounding stuff

[daycordatthreepm]

not to be the guy that’s only talking about mizu5, but I think the impact of it is so interesting. obviously it’s going to have the impact of handling a trans character’s story really well —something that is so important as we continue to progress as a society— and I think it’s also a testament to how much these things can blow up. handling a queer character’s story well is going to make a really good impression among audiences (at least, the ones that are progressively becoming louder and louder in the grand scheme of things). I’ve seen this event bringing people into proseka too, which there’s something to be said there

it’s so interesting to me how much this event has spread outside of the immediate and related fandoms for project sekai (think enstars, bang!dream, etc.), onto completely random people’s social media feeds. the amount of tweets I’ve seen from random ass accounts talking about this is kind of fascinating

like this is just some guy. and I’m obsessed with it.

anyways. big game companies or tv studios. make more trans and queer characters that have care and understanding put into their storylines. it will pay off and age incredibly well and bring you more money

[dduane]

Hi DD! I'm about mid-way through the most complex writing project I've ever done (several stories with some red thread storylines progressing in the background, so a sort of interwoven structure). I have an outline of the major plot beats, but the problem is, I've gotten about 2/3 of the way through, and this is where I've started to have trouble bringing my many threads together. The further I go, the the harder keeping it all clear and elegant becomes. Any advice for working at this stage?

It may seem counterintuitive, but once I'd found myself in a situation like this, I would immediately start working backwards.

It's difficult to describe what I mean here except semi-graphically—sort of in terms of one of those strings-pinned-to-the-wall diagrams so familiar to a lot of us from the various evidence-wall memes.

If we're imagining your present as-yet-unconnected threads as more or less progressing left to right, I would "stick pins in them" at their current furthest range and then move straight out to the far right side of the diagram.

For each thread I would then get busy establishing a detailed "end state" for the work: meaning a sense of what you want each of those through-line of plot to look like when you're done in terms of characters, situations, etc. I'd make very sure that all the major through-lines were covered, and (in passing) take a long look at how they'll stand in relationship to one another when all the action's finished.

Then I would start working back along each line toward the center of the matrix—looking to see what the next-to-last thing was that needed to happen to produce the final result on a given through-line. And then the third-to-last. ...And so forth.

I would try to work through the whole set of through-lines for each given step or stage before progressing any further backwards—unless, of course, some leap of logic occurs that makes an obvious connection between two different through-lines, or an earlier stage in the same TL that hadn't been obvious before.

(Is this making sense? God, I hope so.)

My experience with this kind of situation in the past is that it doesn't take too long before, on one or two of the lines you're constructing backwards, you'll hit something fairly major that somehow hadn't come up for consideration previously, or had simply slipped or fallen off the structural "radar" because so much other stuff had been going on around it. That event or piece of data, once perceived, will very often either immediately connect itself back to one or more of the "pinned" through-lines, or promote one of the other incomplete ones into growing connections to other adjacent lines of plot material. It's a little like watching neural tissue developing alternate pathways for itself after an injury.

...Anyway, give this approach a shot and see how it works for you. There are times when simply the act of reversing direction on the plot build will shake something loose in the business surrounding the building-it-forward part. It's worth a try to see what happens.

Hope this helps!

[quibbs126]

So I finally went and drew something proper, and it’s more X stuff

I was having a lot of trouble coming up with anything to draw yesterday, and eventually I just settled on some AU drawings since At least I can draw them easily. But I wasn’t able to fully get around to it yesterday so I pretty much just ended up drawing it today

It’s pretty much just various Megatrons, that I later on ended up tying with his smiles (and the blue text which is Optimus’ opinions on them)

Honestly I don’t think the drawings are half bad, outside of maybe Optimus. When I drew him, I wasn’t really sure what to draw after making the first two, so I went with something related to the things I was making

I haven’t really made much new content on this AU because I really don’t know what to do for it. After I made my PowerPoint and saw how much I was missing, I just sort of stopped because I didn’t know how to fix the issues, and just making more characters wasn’t going to fix it

With this, I have some new ideas, but they’re really just expansions on Megatron’s character and relationships with Optimus and a bit on Kiloton too, not much lore wise

But okay, let's start. I ended up putting the opinions in the art itself, so I don't really need to reiterate them here, but these thoughts from Optimus are just supposed to show some more of how he sees Megatron, particularly in his smiles

If you were to ask Optimus what his favorite smile of Megatron's is, and you assured him Megatron would not hear any of this, he'd probably admit that he finds his crazed heat of battle smile really hot. Like it does something to him the others don't. But he also very much enjoys his softer smiles, because he likes seeing Megatron genuinely happy. So, while it is not the one that does the most for him, his soft smile is probably his favorite for the reason that it's Megatron's favorite

Moving onto Megatron, I think I mentioned something in his bio about him being aggressive off field, which I'm kind of keeping as true, but not as in a mean sort of aggressive, he's just very...okay I don't actually know what the words I'm looking for are. But in my mind, he channels a lot of Earthspark Megs, albeit not nearly as old and with significantly less war crimes

He very much enjoys sparring and fights in general, they do excite him. But he also gets self-conscious about his passion in the battlefield, because he doesn't want to be reminded of his old violent self or potentially bring it back to the surface more than he already does. That's why his smiles of genuine happiness outside of the battlefield are his favorite, because they prove to himself that he is more than a war machine pretending to be something he isn't

Also, while in the process of thinking about what to draw while out today, I was able to come up with more about Megatron and Kiloton, and specifically more surrounding the events that led to Kiloton's death

I'm thinking that Kiloton, while being a caring bot and wanting to see the best in people, had a deep hatred for the Destron Virus (oh by the way, it has a name now. I don't know if I told you before) for tearing Cybertron and its people apart by forcing bots to turn against each other. And while he doesn't necessarily blame the infected bots so much, he knows they can't help it, he despises whoever created and first spread the virus and wants them dead, as well as non-infected bots who use this solely for their own personal gain

If he was part of the Autobots, it was solely because Megatron wanted to join and because Kilo wanted to help keep him safe

And then around the time of his death, during some big mission or other, he somehow (idk how) finds himself faced with the Decepticon leader (though he might not know at the time), who reveals to him that the one who caused this virus was none other than Megatron. Now Kilo is most likely not given the full situation, namely that Megatron himself doesn't know this information or that he isn't the true root of it all, this was more likely done to get Kiloton at odds with Megatron so that they would fight, since Kilo and Megatron were very close. But Kiloton is absolutely furious at this, once he gets it confirmed that this is indeed the truth, feeling utterly betrayed by the bot he loved. He was also probably infected with the virus at this point, making his anger even more pronounced

And then the confrontation between Megatron and Kiloton happened, with Kiloton wanting Megatron dead for what he's done, and Megatron not understanding, but realizing Kilo is infected and that he'll have to fight him to protect himself, but only wanting to knock him out and detain him. Megatron also thinks this secret Kiloton is so angry at him for is that he lied about being infected, which he admits is true, though he doesn't say specifically that this was what he was admitting, and Kilo thus thinks he's admitting to his involvement with the spread of the virus

Then during the ensuing fight, in a moment of pure instinct and complete accident, Megatron shoots Kiloton fatally, leading to his death, and in Kilo's final moments, he still hates Megatron for what he did. Also in these moments, some of Kilo's final words implies to Megatron that what he was mad at him for wasn't his infection but something else, but by the time he realized, Kilo was already dead

Megatron feels horrible about his death for a multitude of reasons. First off, the obvious point of him killing his lover, that's going to put a damper on things. But it's also because Kiloton's death was entirely unnecessary; while he put up way more of a fight than anyone would have expected from him, he was not dangerous enough that death was the only option, he very easily could have just been detained. But Megatron killed him anyways. And even if it was an accident and he never meant to kill him, it made him more scared of his old self, thinking that maybe it's just in his nature to destroy, as it was his battle instincts that led to him shooting Kiloton, thus reinforcing that idea in his mind that he is nothing more than a killing machine. And on top of all that, he'll never know what it was that made Kiloton so angry with him in that battle, because he knows now that it wasn't his infection. But Kiloton's dead, so he'll never know (well he will find out the truth later, but this is his perspective after the fact)

While in current day he and Optimus are together, it took a long time and a lot of comforting and reassurance, a good chunk of it from Optimus himself, for him to get over what happened and to try and move on from Kiloton

And also with this I realize I need to expand more on Megatron and Optimus' relationship and what it means to them and why they're together

I can at least say that I don't think, provided Kiloton had lived or the circumstances around his death had never happened, that Kilton and Megatron's relationship would have lasted the way Optimus and Megatron's is supposed to

It's not that they didn't love and cherish each other, but it's the fact of the virus and Megatron's involvement in it. In the scenario where Kiloton had lived and said what he knew to the other Autobots, while he would have found out that Megatron legitimately didn't know about it, and thought he was admitting to something far lesser, he still wouldn't have entirely forgiven him for his involvement in this mess, and would probably still feel hurt at the betrayal of Megatron not telling him about his infection as well, even if it is the lesser of things. And Megatron would have been soul crushed by the revelation of his involvement as well, probably also because the bot he loves and the first to show him kindness now resents him for it all. And even if none of that happened and the truth came out to everyone at the intended time it's supposed to, Kilo would still have some resentment for Megatron in this instance. And even if Kilo eventually forgave Megatron because he genuinely didn't know and it wasn't really his fault, their relationship would never be what it once was after this

Meanwhile with Optimus, when this information gets learned, he's supposed to be there with Megatron when he finds out, knowing the entire time that Megatron didn't know. And while he'd still be hurt that Megatron didn't trust him with the knowledge of his infection, it wouldn't be relationship breaking because he knows Megatron has felt guilty about this, and he's admitted to Optimus that he has a secret that he's scared to tell Optimus of, this being it. And it kind of pales in comparison to the bombshell that just dropped on Megatron at this moment. Optimus is actually the one to try and get Megatron out of the meltdown this leads to, by assuring him that this was never his fault, and he knows that Megatron wants to be a good person and is not defined by his origins

And with that, I'm not sure I have much else I've come up with. Like I said, I need more on Megatron and Optimus, but I do at least have some things here

And I think that about wraps up all the relevant stuff I have here. Not sure what I'll draw next, hopefully AU related

I do have two sort of ideas, namely drawing them with hair because the Mega Man characters have hair and I just want to, and also making a megop kid here because it's been an idea in my head, and I want to. Granted that latter option might still need to wait until later, I think I need to make more before I get ahead of myself. So probably the hair thing then

But I want to name them Convoy, since you know, that name isn't really being used here and I can

Anyways yeah, that's about it

[serpentface]

I know that you got rid of all the definite super-natural stuff which I think was a really good choice. I know dreamlands cult is still around, but what happened to the giant ur-tree. That was really cool. I was wondering if that was still a thing or significantly changed at all. This blog and all your world building is super cool 🫡

Unfortunately it has to be significantly changed due to the original concept being like, not actually a tree but like a suspended structure of millions of years of plant life (the highest branches being composed of early land plants extinct everywhere else, the trunks being a twisted amalgam of contemporary trees and foliage) supported by a quasi-sapient deified fungal network.

There's nothing I can do that doesn't wildly nerf the concept down, but I'm maintaining the Spirit Of Things by having the Ur-Tree be a clonal system of very large trees that are actually a single tree connected by a root system, which is over 10,000 years old. This single tree is functionally its own woodland, and part of a much larger (otherwise non-clonal) forest.

This ancient tree is an individual from a spec bio species that I haven't fully fleshed out yet. I was thinking something spruce-like in appearance but it needs to produce fairly substantial quantities of dimethyltryptamine in its bark/roots. It grows in humid subtropical-tropical regions (the Ur-Tree is in the Lowlands, which is a humid coastal subtropical region) and has a fairly wide spread, but its range is fragmented and it's almost always found as a singular tree among other species, no other clonal colonies of this size and age exist (and thus the Ur-Tree is recognizably unique). Its root system is a key host/mutualist symbiotic partner for a spec bio fungus with strong hallucinogenic properties, which is refined along with the bark extract to make the Ur-Root entheogen used by the Scholars sect of the Eterhimhamdli religion.

This retcon allows for people to still live in the Ur-Tree (in a less literal sense of living within the space of the colonial organism), for it to be a large location that is a focal point for a religious practice, for its components to be used in production of a very strong hallucinogen, and for it to be a Presence that predates the cultural memories of any groups that encounter it. It might not have the cool factor of the Giant Fucking God Tree but it preserves the aspects that are most interesting to me in the confines of this setting.

The effects of the hallucinogen are also VERY similar to the pre-supernatural nerfing event version (just less Specifically Targeted without the 'experiencing the memories of a semi-sapient fungus' aspect). A full trip starts with minor visual distortion that turns into fractals, the experience of going through a tunnel and 'breaking through' into a distinct experiential Space, you may encounter things you perceive as entities that communicate with you, etc. (This is just DMT.)

The come up period for the fungus times itself near perfectly with the come-down for the DMT (there is usually no moment of in-between for the user). This is experienced as the previous space shifting into one that feels more like the real world, but with a heavily distorted sense of time, the user feels as if they are living through hundreds of thousands of years. Their senses are distorted and indistinct from one another, hard to categorize as 'vision' 'sound' 'smell' 'touch', it's raw Experience. In a good trip, the user loses all sense of individual identity and experiences a sense of oneness with all life, rendering the sensation of endless time into a peaceful experience. In a bad trip, the user remains semi-conscious and might retain the concept of the 'self' and therefore experience what feels like being trapped in this space for millennia.

(Here's the original post about it. Everything about the religious practices and interpretations Surrounding the tree/the Ur-Root is still canon, with the exception of the Scholarly Order Of The Root being a singular sect/mystery cult of a much larger religion rather than The central priesthood of that religion)

[ohwolfling]

Waterdeep Style & Culture (part one)

I've been working on pinning down some aesthetics/cultures connected to Baldur's Gate 3 and the Forgotten Realms in general. Y'all voted that you'd like to see my ideas on Waterdeep FIRST so here ya go.

I (and many others) have spoken about Gale Dekarios being INCREDIBLY Greek coded, even before you find out the Dekarios bit. So in my mind, Waterdeep is deeply Greek coded. First, Chessenta does exist in Faerûn and is very openly Hellenistic/Greek inspired.

There will be pretty pictures & stuff, promise, but first let's talk about concepts of Greek myth & early society & how it relates to our Wizard of Waterdeep.

Themes/Ideals

Art and artistry served the gods and gods made people in their image and of course in Greek mythology gods and especially demigods loved to be a mess in, on, around, or about mere mortals. The parallels there are obvious… Gale speaks first of feeling the Weave, of composing with it. It’s art and artistry to HIM, regardless of any limitations, codes, or creeds Mystra or anyone else might try to put around it. Another parallel is the concept of Arete. Arete refers to the journey to personal excellence. It’s a belief that everyone is called to be the absolute best version of themself, with the acknowledgement that that is different for every living creature, and from person to person. Do we perhaps know a wizard who takes that perhaps too seriously and has been historically manipulated and controlled around that concept? Hmmmm.

Aesthetics

Greek Arts

Mosaics, Tiles, painted everything. Bold and natural. There’s a sharp contrast between the fine lines of Waterdeep’s architecture, the precision needed for its docks, its ships, and the boldness of its artistry, applied to all things. Art is meant to be seen, experienced. And all art there needs to survive winds and storms all kissed with the salt of the sea. 

My general idea of seafaring/fisherman communities and the specificity of Greek inspiration, especially mosaics, leads me to imagine a Waterdeep that utilizes clear motifs, themes, and symbols. You can already see from the photos I selected above that images reflect the natural surroundings but also lend themselves to myth. Even in busier, more detailed work, there are figures that STAND OUT! 

Clothing (symbols, structure, some talk of status, jewelry below)

Here’s an excerpt from a fic where I have Gale lay out a typical, representative Waterdeep dinner. Here, I utilized my ideas about folk/mythological symbolism and its use in even an artistry most of us don't event think about, dishware and such:

“Come and see,” Gale extends a hand, unnecessary for a walk through the foyer and kitchen and into the dining area but Tav takes it eagerly.  Tav gives a genuine sigh of awe at the table before her. This gladdens him. He meets her own sigh with one of his relief. She lets go of his hand to circle the table.  It was simple illusory magic but Gale took care in making a series of ethereal fish in blues and golds seemingly swimming just above the scene, a few of them circling playfully around the candelabra in the center of the table. The table itself Gale had lain with a gold runner with embroidered blue waves and copper boats along its length, a very old tapestry motif that had been popular in Waterdeep before Gale’s time. Still, it was handmade with care by his own grandfather. He resists the urge to tell Tav this in great detail, wanting instead to be present. He focuses on how charmed Tav seems by the space. On either side of the candelabra Gale had placed two wine goblets, bronze with inlaid seahorses the likes of which donned ships during Waterdeep’s parade seasons, which Tav had not yet experienced. A carafe sat on the corner of the table, covered in hand painted seahorses of a less stylized nature.

Clothing

symbols and structures

I think these symbols extend to clothing as well, perhaps less on the day to day (though I don’t think Waterdeep has a concept of being overdressed in so far as having prints, patterns, and embroidered details go). Embroidery is reminiscent of the mosaic and tile arts, taking turn with repetitive detail or focusing in on one figure or symbol. I won't get too much into jewelry for now but I do think small jewelry pieces might be used to signify rank and status in various arenas of Waterdeep life (and this is something that happens in a few magic school campaigns for Forgotten Realms), using specific coins or beads to communicate anything from authority to "first time caster, please be kind" and "this bard breaks suddenly to jam" to which district a person is representing. This is an especially impactful idea to me because I imagine that Gale may have given up all these other pieces, including signifiers of House Dekarios and his achievements at Blackstaff to solely represent Mystra once he became Chosen. I've also included some of Elia Fernandez's ASOIAF women art because of the specific way they use house sigils. Dynamic, colorful symbols.

I imagine summers are hot so you want clothes to have enough structure to SERVE and to have a base if you want to strip down OR add light linens for more protection from the sun. I want to combine the silhouettes we see from ancient Greece- cloaks and tunics and, yes, shapes similar to the Roman toga- with the flowing structure we see of the wizard robes we encounter in Baldur’s Gate 3. 

As a note, I think Waterdeep- partly by virtue of having so many places where people go to train as monks, bards, wizards, etc so having a huge uniformed student population, partly by virtue of having a canon drag scene- considers most pieces of fashion to be non-gendered. So any of the silhouettes included here, be they skirts, deep Vs, corsets, underbust details, etc, I'm assuming are flexible to and socially normal/accepted for any gender expression.

Lastly (for this round), here's a color palette for our Waterdeep aesthetics thus far.

I have a part two outlined that I hope I'll get to soon! It will be influenced by another island culture with a rich art/textile history and open us up to more fashion subcultures and how they reflect the working class and more physical studies of Waterdeep.

Feel free to let me know what else you might be interested in a series like this. Would you like more jewelry? Are you interested in interiors? any other specific elements of culture you'd like aesthetics for? Any time periods irl speak to you when you think of Waterdeep?

Thank you to those who voted to see this first and to anyone who reblogs or chit chats. If you'd like to support my sanity and so make it easier for me to do bigger fun things like this, I'm on ko-fi and Twitch and won't look a donation or support horse in the mouth.

[autism-autobot]

Flower of a Poisonous Seed Part 51:

Part 50:

TW: swears,

"THE FUCK YOU MEAN IT'S ONLY MAY?!"

"I know! I don't believe it either, but sure enough, it's May 3rd."

Wukong sat there in stunned silence and contemplated how exactly it was possible. They were celebrating Wukong's birthday less than three months ago. How? It just didn't line up with the recent events.

SWK: Does Heaven actually have that time-dilation thing? I was told it was a myth, but I'm not sure how else that could fit-

Jing: Heaven in general doesn't, but the hospitals do.

Everyone: Oh!

Nezha: Wait, have they always been like that? Because I could've sworn they didn't when I was younger.

Jing: No, they weren't always like that. Hospitals having time-dialation became a standard shortly before the Jade Emperor passed.

Nezha: Oh. Why did they start doing that?

Jing: Multiple reasons, the main one being that it gives patients more time to recover while not taking away from their actual lives as much. That also means that friends and family of patients don't have to be away from them as long.

SWK: That makes sense.

Nezha: Good thing too, some of those hospital trips felt like torture.

Mac: You're telling me!

Jing: That's also why they try to keep you there longer than necessary, so you can spend less time recovering at home, which would actually take longer.

Mac: Couldn't they have given us a warning or something?

RS: I mean, they have a large sign out in the front and signs in the cafeteria and lobby.

SWK: How did we never notice that?

RS: Well, it took me a while to find them too. It wasn't until I was waiting to visit both you and Nezha that I let my eyes wander enough to notice them. Typically people don't go to hospitals to look at signs.

Nezha: Fair point.

Mac: So... speaking of hospitals and medical stuff, have the doctors gotten back to you about Wukong's lungs yet?

SWK: They did.

RS: And?

Nezha: They did indeed find volcanic ash in Wukong's lungs, the same kind surrounding the Demon Bull Palace. It's been harming Wukong's lungs and causing any progress to either halt or reverse itself.

RS: Oh, Uncle! I'm so sorry, perhaps the air filters weren't good enough, or we accidentally let some in through the windows, or-

Jing: Enough of that talk now, all we can do now is help Wukong heal.

Nezha: Father is right, let us not focus on what was, but on what could be and how to get there.

SWK: Agreed, I don't want you blaming yourself, Peony. You've done more good than harm!

RS: Thank you, but how do we help him get the ash out of his lungs? I can think of a million ways to prevent further damage, but undoing what's been done? No clues here.

Nezha: Wukong has once-a-week lung treatments. The medicine is mixed into the air in his tanks and given to him that way. In three months of treatment, Wukong should start showing improvements again.

Mac: Thank goodness. I was worried about you, Wukong.

SWK: Don't be, everything's getting handled. It's only a matter of time.

RS: While we wait for that, I'll see to it that air purifiers are put into the places you commonly reside. With permission from whoever owns the estate, that is.

Nezha: Good. Though we still haven't tried visiting our home. I know I said we'd only hide out for a week, but I'm still hesitant to go back there.

RS: Then I can scout around and see how things are.

Nezha & SWK: Don't go alone.

RS: I wouldn't dream of it! Is there anyone in particular you want me to take with me?

Nezha: Father, if you would be so kind?

Jing: While I am hesitant to leave Macaque's side, I will go if you wish. Perhaps Erlang would also be a good candidate. With his eyes and his mutt, he should be able to pick up any scent of danger lingering.

Nezha: Yes, please take him. We can never be too careful or too sure.

Jing: I will notify him and we will schedule a time and date.

SWK: Thank you so much. And Peony?

RS: Yes, Uncle?

SWK: *genuinely worried* You be so, so careful. Please, for my sake and yours.

RS: I will. I promise.

Part 52:

Masterpost

@weaverpop @istopaskingmemate @ainnur @starrclown @cutvdo @swkbiggestdefender @fruit-fight

[qiutls]

TNGDH 014

The festival began in earnest in the North, and the celebration was lively enough to forget the coldness of the winter.

'Hmm, why are they holding such a big festival when it's not even the season of harvesting?'

It's hard to get flowers during this time of the year, since the cold wind blows day and night, it must be expensive to buy them from outside. It's not even thanksgiving, nor spring... Why is the festival celebrated during this cold season?

"Because the day is short."

Sen answered my question clearly.

"It's a period of time where there's less stuff for people to do. And people tend to get depressed easily when the amount of sunlight is reduced. Lethargy makes people sick; the poor starve to death and the pessimists often kill themselves."

I see. I've never thought of that.

I looked up at the red sky beyond the castle walls. The sun was already setting even though it was still early in the day.

"So, His Highness deliberately makes the coldest and darkest times lively. Spending this week, by generously releasing food collected throughout the year and buying people's goods at a high price. Aristocrats from the city are also invited to spend money for the merchants to earn their keep. It's like giving a gift to the people of the estate in order for them to keep enduring until spring."

That means, while Kyle's not hanging out with me, he was taking care of everyone in the estate. I honestly admire it.

"Soon, His Highness will deliver a speech to commemorate the charity event. Do you want to go and see it?"

I nodded.

There's still time left anyway. I tried to meet Belial, but unfortunately, I still couldn't, so I just looked around the castle. Since the time for "Summon" was doubled, I can enjoy this luxury.

"Are they selling food on the street?"

"Have you not tried the festival food? Oh, this can't do! Come on, follow me. I'll treat you today!"

The place Sen led me to was teeming with people and stalls.

'Wow, there's really a lot to eat.'

There're orange-colored candied apples, grilled barbeque and lots of fried snacks and sweets covered in caramel sauce. My eyes, nose and mouth are all satisfied with all the food surrounding me,

'Life in the north is better than I expected...'

Only when there's delicious food can a heart full of love for the estate be born. I watched the vividness of the street while taking a bite at the food Sen bought me.

"Your Highness!"

"Thank you so much, my lord!"

The festival was more exhilarating than I thought, and so was Kyle's speech, which we watched from afar.

It was good to watch him from a distance that could be reached at any time if I wanted. But the Lord of Blake, exuding greatness, who could only be seen from afar, is also pretty cool.

He looked at his subjects from the stage with a blank expression that seemed cold to anyone else.

If you didn't know anything about him, you would misunderstand and think he was a villain or a tyrant.

But I know that's not the case at all. I haven't been with him for a long time, but I already know him well. What more for the people who have been living in this estate for years.

"It was really a good choice to come to the North."

"Who said otherwise? If it wasn't for Your Highness, we would have all starved to death a few years ago."

This was someone's vivid life, which cannot be explained by just a few lines in a novel. The reality is that the energy and passion of the people does not cool down despite the harsh winter wind. Their indomitable determination to live and breathe keeps them going.

"Who said you were a cold and unfeeling Duke of the North...."

If you look at him at any angle, you'd obviously see otherwise. Of course, I like it better like this than what the book described.

"Here, eat this too Shu."

As I stared at Kyle, Sen came to me with honey-coated fruit skewers on both hands.

I took a big bite of what looked like Tanghulu. It was crunchy and juicy, the fruit itself tasted almost fresh, perhaps because of the cold northern climate. Before I knew it, I've already eaten all four of the skewered fruits.

It was a fruitful hour, I ate delicious food and met new people. It almost felt like I was free from everything.

But now it's time to go back, I looked back at everything with regret. My eyes which scanned the street landed on Kyle, who was distributing rations directly to the people.

Hmm, it was a good choice that I decided to save you.

"The only problem is, can I actually do it..."

"What did you say?"

"...Ah! It was nothing. I was just talking to myself. Thank you for the snack, I'm off now."

Sen tilted her head and asked,

"Why are you always in a hurry to leave every day? I haven't even seen you for more than an hour."

"That- It's, well it's complicated."

I want to stay longer too. There's a pile of food to eat from here to there. That beer, that homemade sausage, and beef jerky? Just imagining them is already making my mouth water.

I eventually returned to the castle with a bag of snacks.

'I should get home before Kyle comes back.'

I shouldn't make him worry this day, or else he might turn the study upside down trying to look for a hamster.

However, there was another problem I overlooked.

"Cashew Nut, as long as you're healthy, I have nothing else to wish for."

I ate too many again, so I went home full and turned a blind eye to the nuts left in the bowl. Kyle put the macadamia near my mouth trying to make me it, but I really couldn't take another bite.

The magicians came and said they still didn't feel any mana from me, and Kyle's face became dimmer at the suggestion that he inject more magical power to me.

Kyle wrapped a handkerchief around me and brought me to sleep with him in his bedroom. But what do I do, I can't sleep since I slept a lot during the day.

I spent the whole time tossing and turning around Kyle's sleeping face.

'You're quite handsome...'

This is what they mean by being full just by looking at a handsome face huh?

I can't get enough of it.

*

I have a lot of worries.

I did locate Belial's room. However, it was embarrassing to even pass by because of the knights guarding the door.

Is it tradition for the royal family to set up guard posts outside their bedroom? You live a strict life.

Agh! Listen people, I'm trying so hard to save your lives, but how is it a possible that not a single one of you take me seriously? That villain like chandelier! I get so upset looking at it. That item doesn't care for anyone's safety!

It has already been three days since I discovered Belial's room and have walked nearby to chance upon the prince. What can mulling over it do, I can only confront him and say it upfront.

Now that the banquet is just around the corner, if I keep wasting time like this, I'll end up sacrificing my body when the time comes just to prevent the accident.

There's nothing I can do, if I can't see you today, I'll have no choice but to enter your room through the window.

"Oh-"

Just then, I saw Belial walking at the hallway on the other side. There were several knights around him, but I could see his face when I tip-toed.

I apporached him in a heartbeat. There was no time to think. This is my last chance. My desperate voice called out,

"Prince!"

With a snap.

Belial's green eyes landed on my face the same time his knights drew their swords out and placed them near my neck. I could feel the cool sensation of the blades tightening on all sides of my neck.

If this continues, I might get cut just by swallowing saliva. Please go easy on me hmm. I was just calling out to the prince.

"Uhm, this is a little..."

Isn't this too much for someone who doesn't even have a weapon? Even if I was really crazy and tried to kick Belial, my legs wouldn't even reach his head.

Belial raised his hand.

"It's fine."

The problem was that even though the prince was amiable, the knights were not and started shouting at me as soon as they placed their cwords back.

"Be polite to His Highness!"

What? Why? Is there something I should do before greeting? Should I kneel?

Judging from the atmosphere, it seems like I should. When I stood up after kneeling, the atmosphere seemed to be better.

'I got it. I got it.'

I'm like a dirty, low-ranking commoner.

"I'm sorry to disturb His Highness' business like this but..."

I lowered my head and said,

"Please don't go to the banquet."

I'm not that good at talking, so rather than explaining my actions and why I'm asking him to do this, it's better to just say it directly.

Belial took a step closer to me. His shoes came into my view of the floor. Compared to my shoes which were dirty, his were sparkling clean. Is this the saying children from different families are different.

"There are only two days until the banquet, you don't want me to attend all of a sudden?"

"Yes."

"Even though I just received the invitation from the Grand Duke?"

"Yes."

I answered carelessly.

Why do you keep asking me ah? Are you going to block that falling chandelier with that invitaiton? If you get one shot, you should shoot it. If I can save you, then I'll save you.

I lifted my head slightly.

"I'm just informing the prince." The future of the North can only be protected if you are careful. I know nothing aside from that, I'm just a pet hamster who doesn't even pay for its own food.

"You're saying that as if someone has planned to hurt me at the banquet."

Belial whispered near my ear. His voice was clear and gentle, yet his words were cold and rough.

"That's not true."

I answered casually.

"If you're thinking that His Highness Kyle has plotted to kill you, he wouldn't wait and cause trouble at his own banquet to do it, Your Highness."

And Kyle will never want that to happen. He is a person who will never do that nor even think that in his mind.

He is the leader of the North. His actions are closely linked to the future of the people in this estate. And Kyle knows his responsibility. He is quite different from you who just came here and tried to cause a scandal.

"That's funny."

Belial laughed quietly, as if I had said something weird. Him and Kyle say the same stuff as if they were brothers.

He slid his arm and grabbed my chin with his fingers, tilted my face upwards and made eye contact with me. I thought a man couldn't be both gentle and rough, but he can definitely do it. In this sense, you could say he's a great man.

But of course, to other people, he probably just looks like a gentle and fairy like prince tilting my head to see my face.

"What a strange face. It looks unique."

It's because I'm a native Korean. Your Highness, if you go to Hongdae, or Sangsu or Hapjeong, you would find 500 people who look like me.

"Why are you stopping me from attending so desperately seeing as you're not even from the North?"

What should I say.

I can't just say, I don't want you to get hit by the chandelier and lead the North to destruction.

I feel like I've seen my future in a book if I do say those words to you, my life will end with a sword slicing my throat.

Somebody help me!

Is it possible that there's someone who's fate is tied to Belial, will step in for me, just coincidentally.

"Perhaps..."

They're here.

"They just didn't want you and the grand duke to be upset during the banquet."

I turned my head in delight and saw Sen, who was holding hamster toys and snacks in her arms.

'That's right!'

[ (*≧▽≦)ﾉｼ ]

'... Although I'm still quite nervous.'

It isn't a lie that I'm happy right now.

Sen came closer to me with a smile. Is it just me? There seemed to be a halo around her right now.

T/N I do hope Sen/Serena stays this way and doesn't harm Soohyun/Shu or Kyle in the future ☆ｏ(＞＜；)○

novel ⠀✿⠀ next

[sepublic]

I’ve noticed that when it comes to shows and movies and whatnot, you can’t just ask the writers about the lore so easily, even with social media; Every once in a blue moon they’ll respond to a tweet, but otherwise they’re mum. Your only real shot is some dedicated event or livestream where they accept questions, but with so many coming in during a set amount of time, they can only get a few.

Sometimes the answers are for things that the writers genuinely planned and wanted to fit into the story, but couldn’t. Sometimes writers don’t even want to clarify, and would prefer there be room for fanon and interpretation, mystery, etc. Voice actors can answer relatively simple and inconsequential details, often presented as headcanons. Otherwise, fandom just has to make do with itself, make their own answers, or simply never know.

I presume this has to do with like, legality and whatnot. But then I’ve noticed with another fandom I’m in, Ninjago, that people have been casually asking the head writer(s) random questions since the dawn of time, and will often get them answered. Sometimes it’s really minor stuff too like “What’s the name of this incredibly brief character” and they’ll just have it ready like they created it on the spot for this response.

And I realize the same thing happened with Bionicle, for whom Ninjago is its spiritual successor; So many people asking Greg Farshtey questions on the lore that he had to create a dedicated forum. It got to a point where on TTV’s messageboards, there was a feature where fans could answer questions that Greg had already done, so he didn’t waste time trying to remember if he’d gone through this question before or not. People would ask the most specific questions too…

Bionicle and Ninjago are both Lego; This is ironic because for a toy company that wants to encourage creativity and even had a phase about letting kids decide their own stories and endings, now we have fans demanding the creator answer and decide everything for them instead of yknow. Having a headcanon or making their own details in fanfic, or even just waiting for the story to elaborate on basic stuff it’ll obviously get around to. There’s no real room for interpretation at this rate.

My frustrations aside (Maybe I’m just jealous), I wonder what’s the legal difference; Is it the fact that Lego is a toy company? Whereas Disney and Cartoon Network and whatnot, these are companies based on media and stories. So the rules about creators discussing canon might be different there, because the story is the primary product and focus, and would likely have the most laws surrounding it.

But with Lego, the story is just another way to advertise the toys, the focus is on the physical toys. So that might be why Lego can allow its writers to just ramble as they please, whereas with other showrunners, there are requirements to be less liberal. Maybe it’s just a creative difference where showrunners want to encourage creativity and interpretations. Maybe they’re more busy.

Maybe Greg was just a strange exception that set a precedent for Tommy Andreasen and then Doc Wyatt; Greg wrote books and comics but Bionicle never had a show, so that could be why he could get away with it, and then Ninjago’s writers are just following suit at that rate. Maybe laws were different back then.

[bimboficationblues]

what quotes did they translate differently?

a huge swath is translated differently from my brief overview (will be doing a reading group starting next month). Reitter has put a lot more deliberation into marking out Marx's neologisms, particularly around "value," in a way that invokes unwieldiness, but by the same token (ha), a lot of the surrounding language feels a bit more natural to read in English than the Fowkes did, which I think is largely advantageous for grappling with the theory.

however, many moments and passages from the Fowkes really stick out in my head from past readings. I'll be interested to see, after reading through it all with my group, if I think there's moments where something is lost between the translations (cf. the Moore-Aveling edition where wealth "presents itself,” as opposed to merely "appearing" in the Fowkes edition as well as the new one).

just for an example, compare the Fowkes edition:

The capitalist has bought the labour-power at its daily value. The use-value of the labour-power belongs to him throughout one working day. He has thus acquired the right to make the worker work for him during one day. But what is a working day? At all events, it is less than a natural day. How much less? The capitalist has his own views of this point of no return, the necessary limit of the working day. As a capitalist, he is only capital personified. His soul is the soul of capital. But capital has one sole driving force, the drive to valorize itself, to create surplus-value, to make its constant part, the means of production, absorb the greatest possible amount of surplus labour. Capital is dead labour which, vampire-like, lives only by sucking living labour, and lives the more, the more labour it sucks. The time during which the worker works is the time during which the capitalist consumes the labour-power he has bought from him. If the worker consumes his disposable time for himself, he robs the capitalist.

to the Pauls:

A capitalist buys labor-power at its daily value. The labor-power belongs to him for the duration of one working day. He has obtained the right to put the worker to work during this time. But what is a working day? It has to be shorter than a natural day of life. The question is: Shorter by how much? The capitalist has his own view on this ultima Thule, the necessary limit of a workday! As a capitalist, he is merely capital personified. His soul is the soul of capital, which knows only one drive in life: the drive to valorize itself; to create surplus-value; to use its constant part, the means of production, to absorb the greatest possible quantity of surplus-labor. Capital is dead labor that acts like a vampire: it comes to life only when it drinks living labor, and the more living labor it drinks, the more it comes to life. The time when the worker is working is the time when the capitalist consumes the labor-power he has bought. When a worker uses his disposable time for his own purposes, he is stealing from the capitalist.

since it's relying on the 1872 German edition certain stuff is different in subtle but interesting ways from translations that were based on other editions (and in ways that don't necessarily point towards a more "authentic" reading one way or another; WCR highlights the differences between this one and the French edition in his afterword).

what's revealing is that the squabbling about the new translation has not really been about the actual substance of the translation changes, coming back to the text in a new way and seeing what merit that has, etc. because that would require reading the thing. instead it's mainly been about the political orientation or stakes. which is good because that is ultimately what the new translation *should* prompt and has prompted for me, but it’s been in a really annoying way where people are just making shit up about the supplemental materials as an excuse not to engage.

[djsherriff-responses]

Manga spoilers, or “How Dolph’s perspective of his own memories conflict within itself”

As well as other thoughts (please please discuss this with me) Note I only read the preview pages from Google books , which while has shown the most from the manga it’s only previews and thus I am missing huge chunks of context . Also apparently there was a print issue and they’re reprinting the manga to be on shelves for Match, talk about a doomed yaoi am I right fellas?

While it’s more likely the stuff that contradicts with the show (and itself) is due to the two projects being made in different paces , as well as just general struggles writing a manga spin off of a new property, it is fun to see possible narrative purposes that can be strung from it especially for fanfic angst purposes

Particularly the fact the manga is Dolph revisiting his memories

One of the story beats of the manga that immediately stood out to me was the differences between how Dolph met Alex

In the manga it’s either day light or the very early evening seeing as how Dolph walked past groups of people and families while wondering the beach city. After Dolph fails getting pizza, he makes his way to a bar called “Spark” and finds Alex, notably surrounded by people partying and being rather jolly himself

But in the show? Drastically different flashback, different tone even

This is clearly the dead of night, and the bar called “Prism” is quiet , or at least doesn’t seem to have as much as an active rave compared to Spark. Alex is a lot more attractive relaxed here, having a smoke rather than getting frisky with some other people who notably aren’t in this flashback. While Dolph was a wreck in both anime and manga, he seemed far more on edge in the anime version.

How Alex responds is also interesting in each version. In the manga, Alex gave him a smile which made Dolph blush before passing out. But that’s not what happened in the anime. Alex just looks at him confused and a little concerned before Dolph passes over. Dolph didn’t blush, instead he remained hostile until Alex caught him and asked for his name.

So what does this mean, besides that the manga has writing issues and it probably shouldn’t be seen as “true” canon?

Even after everything Dolph has suffered and experienced, he is still looking back on his relationship with Alex through rose tinted glasses, even though they’ve cracked they’re still rose coloured.

It’s also possible Dolph may have been given some kind of false memories ,either literally through his cyborg brain or just from Alex twisting things to get into Dolph’s head to control him further (Eden may have also messed with his head but just put a pin on that)

While it is entirely possible the anime flashback is the “false” memory , if we consider how Alex planned on using Dolph until he decided to betray him , the manga version of events seems far more palatable to get Dolph to stay loyal to Alex

Think about it, an old man picking up a barely legal teenager from a club surrendered by people in daylight is a far less creepy scenario than an old man picking up a barely legal teenager at an empty club in the dead of night

So it’s probably easier to view this manga as Dolph’s “false” and true memories conflicting with one another than the true story of what happened between Dolph and Alex

A barely conscious Dolph over hearing this conversation is likely one of the few “true” memories that exists in his head. It’s worth noting as well that people who suffer from abuse can develop issues with their memory, and Dolph was a victim of Eden abusing him from early child hood , meaning he was already mentally vulnerable when he met Alex

Speaking of Dolph’s childhood trauma, he was basically (unknowingly) sold to Eden

We actually get a very brief glance of what Dolph does remember of his mother , who is obviously not a blonde sex worker who Ramon probably visited at some point but a struggling woman who was given a difficult choice due to desperation also gotta love Eden having casual eugenics in its system

Do you think Dolph’s mother is still alive? Do you think she mourns him every time she sees his face on TV? Do you think she ever tried finding him?

NOTICE THE GLITCH ON HER FACE!? “They took everything” , he probably isn’t aware of this but I’m damn sure Eden tried erasing the very memories he has of his mother

Dolph is definitely not the first the person in Eden to undergo cybernetics enhancements. I seriously doubt Sarah became a full bodied cyborg Templar after Dolph became Captain Laserhawk, but this was likely a much more specific trail the scientists were doing.

While it could’ve been for some mysterious purpose we do not know off yet, based on limited knowledge I have atm it’s likely Dolph was one the first child soldiers Eden produced. Do make note that the scientist refers to Dolph as a test subject to be used and tamed rather than a human child and that Dolph refers to himself as property , Eden was testing ways to make children into tools to be owned

How much of these memories are “true” though is unclear, considering Dolph himself gives some confusing information

At the beginning of the manga Dolph states he was 4 when he began his training, but later on says he wouldn’t leave the facility for the next 8 years.

Meaning he would’ve been 12 when he entered the outside world

That hmmm, that seems a bit weird? Right? Like, even by Eden standards I’m sure that’s a bit young to let a armed child fight terrorists, or maybe Eden really is that messed up

…..maybe Dolph really did become a traumatised Cyborg before Sarah, damn

Still I’m going to count that as weird because I highly doubt even Eden could get people to ignore a middle schooler in their police force. Also possible Dolph just sucks at maths

Another note worthy thing is Lucy

Lucy is essentially Dolph’s childhood friend who is the daughter of one of the scientists experimenting on him. Lucy was the one who kept Dolph’s spirits up and gave him hope when he had none, and pushed him to keep going in hopes of becoming a “superhero”

A pretty damn manipulative relationship when you actually think about the fact Lucy is going to become Dolph’s boss when they’re older and Dolph has no say in the matter

The thing is, I actually don’t think Lucy was ever a real person, or at least I think much of what Dolph is remembering of her is fabricated , even more so than how he is remembering Alex

Obviously once I am able to read the full manga that point is going to be harder to believe in

But Dolph having a child hood friend who is always cheering him on no matter what? She just happens to be the scientist’s daughter and thus can visit him whenever? Lucy being such a kind and caring soul that Dolph doesn’t want to leave the facility and thus her behind? The notable lack of Dolph interacting with other children being experimented on? Dolph not knowing any kids showing symptoms of being traumatised and him and those children having conflicts because of that?

Lucy seems too good to be true

Until the part Lucy tells Dolph to shoot a kid, but Google books won’t let me read past this page so no clue what happens after

Based off of what I found on Assassins Creed wiki, Lucy was basically a double agent for the assassin to infiltrate the templars , only to decided to join the Templars for real and turn her back on the Brotherhood. Kinda interesting how Dolph’s “friend” back then had strong ties to the Assassin Creed games

Anyways before I finish this post I want to go back to Alex

Two things we learn here

Alex was the first person Dolph ever slept with

Alex set things up (a fight) to it make it easier to get Dolph to get into bed with him

So obviously Dolph was not some kinky bad boy before meeting Alex (side note but I feel a bit awkward about some jokes I’ve made about Dolph’s sexuality knowing the context of the manga now) and it was even mentioned in other pages Eden didn’t even let Dolph “have” a sexuality to speak off, basically raised to take orders. confirms my theory that “Captain Laserhawk” was for branding purposes not because Dolph actually lead a team

But also something far more important to address, Alex manipulated both Dolph and the situations that they were in order to get sexual with Dolph, a barely legal teenager with little life experience and who never had any prior experiences with that sort of relationship

Even though Dolph did consent, he had no clue what Alex was doing and was being manipulated by him

While I do think this memory is true , it does make me wonder if all of Dolph’s sexual encounters with Alex was this sweet and gentle , or if Alex pushed Dolph further into activities he may not have been comfortable with?

It’s really interesting to see that Dolph did comfort Alex sometimes rather than him being the one needing calming and that Dolph wanted a fresh slate in life. The poor guy was down bad from day one and probably would’ve shoved a wedding dress on if Alex popped out a ring

Really hilarious to see Alex get angry about Eden “fucking experimenting on kids” as if he didn’t just bang a teenage virgin young enough to be his son

There’s also an irony in seeing Alex be the revenge seeking one, though idk if that’s genuine or part of an act

Conclusion: Dolph doesn’t remember how events actually happened because people literally tempered with his brain and because he has a ton of repressed memories , Marcus Holloway probably should go back to college before continuing his therapist career and Alex is a groomer

[cricky-butspicy]

The post on your bsky got me thinking - the fact that Atlas and Soleil have a body count hitting around 40 is like. Insane. Maybe I'm wrong but that FEELS like it'd be national news level. That's like a permanent tab in the school's Wikipedia page at least. That's a "if your highschooler was planning on going here, no they're not" kind of number. Do you think they think about that kind of stuff? The permanent pieces of Proof of how real this all is, even if it doesn't link it to them directly

Oh, it definitely is national news level! And probably has been for a while because of how long it has lasted and how it just keeps happening. I talk a little bit with one person in the comments of my fic on AO3 about this kind of stuff, but usually leave it alone (for now.) Surrounding towns and places are FREAKING out. The school is in shambles trying to please students and parents alike while trying not to collapse in on itself. There is tension everywhere you go in town because of it.

And I do think about it sometimes when doing logistics of things and planning things out, (I admit to going a little overboard with the body count, but parties have lots of people usually, and the boys have the mentality of one unknown person escaping is too many so everyone goes down with the ship (Except their favorite reader, you never count,)) but overall, when writing, I don't think too hard about it because 1. I'm in it for the bits of porn, intimacy, and drama focused around the main three, and 2. I take on the view of Atlas and Soleil for the writing process and focus on really how they'd see the world and how they'd kind of warp reader unintentionally into joining that strange view. I'll explain a little because it explains your question better.

Soleil and Atlas have a sort of rose/red colored glasses view to it all. Everything is red, so nothing points out or shouts at them even when it's bright red and waving in front of them but you and each other, who are blue, which shows very well in red hues. Important things are blue, and little to them is important in the overall sense of their current altered worlds.

They don't notice or care about the news, so they don't watch it unless they need to know something, even then, they just look it up on their phones. Even if they were to watch the news, they kind of tune it out. Sure, it's about their killings, but overall they feel it doesn't have much to do about them. Atlas only really checks in once in a while to see if authorities have caught any leads yet. After that, he could care less. Atlas knows the news gets to Soleil anyhow with natural disasters or big events and politics, so it's not big in their apartment to start with, even before the killings. It only really pushes them farther away from what's happening.

There are more police around campus, more things getting canceled, more things happening online instead of in person, but that doesn't matter to them unless they are directly involved. But really, it doesn't directly affect them that often. It really only causes minor inconveniences, like "Damn, my math class was moved online for the time being because of the spree three days ago because too many of the students are afraid to go into class today. I didn't charge my laptop for this."

Reader, especially at first, saw all the flags, even if it wasn't mentioned. They disappeared for over a week and a half because of it all. It was too much and the reader shut down and hid from everything. Skipped classes, turned off the news, shut of their phone, and hid. Nothing to remind them of anything that had happened. The only thing they did during that time was talk with a few officers about what happened and then went back to solitude until they could handle coming back out into the world from it all. But as remembered, you were pretty much gone when Soleil and Atlas found you on the street walking to do errands. They notice when it affects you, but outside of you, they don't see the other things.

But slowly, and carefully, Soleil and Atlas gently guided you into their rose colored glasses for your sanity. They saw you breaking, and they couldn't let it eat you alive. They at least have some semblance of things happening, so they can at least help you a little. It was better for everyone if you could just ignore it. So, on they softly went, starting light before they deepened with time. They aren't always on, and they aren't always the same deep shade that they have, but it helps blur things. And they calm you into their way of life of "Things have happened, but everything is ok now. Right now, nothing is happening, so that means it's fine. That means you don't have to worry so much. Worry when things actively are happening."

So the fic is written in a way that most of the outside world is almost removed. So, it's definitely not thought of constantly as every chapter is written, but I do hit points where I'm like "This is majorly fucked and terrifying, if this was happening IRL, this would be BOOMING and scaring the people. You've got to be pretty fucked to be ok with this." And guess what? The boys are fucked! And so are you now! Will it get worse? Will it get better? Only time and more chapters will tell!

But overall, they don't realize the chaos this is causing. They don't understand that this is crazily monumental for the college and town and how much this will affect everything going forward.

You'll see the repercussions on the school around when the next year begins. They lose A LOT of students, old and new, and even staff abandon ship. The college's reputation is in shambles. But that doesn't matter to Soleil and Atlas, and they make sure it doesn't matter to you. You have other things on your mind, don't worry about the silly college.

They don't even try to be manipulative on purpose in this case, it just unfortunately happens with where their minds are at at this point in the fic and how they need you to stay calm, and people are pretty calm when they aren't worried about things. We'll see how this progresses as it goes on. Their views may change, but for now, they are just annoyed with being questioned and you getting involved.

[welshoot]

An Analysis of Dire Crowley

Crowley is weird. We don’t know how old he is, what magic he has, who he’s twisted from or even where his homeland is. What we do have is a few clues. (The rest of the analysis is under the cut due to length).

The symbol of NRC is a raven/crow holding some keys and wearing a collar, a collar that resembles Grim’s, save for its more key-like shape.

Crowley himself has keys all over his outfit, and has a connection to crows (CROWley). Since we don’t know his age he could be the founder of NRC for all we know. But that would be a debate for another time.

Crowley himself is a rather fishy individual. His name itself is suspicious. Dire can mean: 1.  (a situation or event) extremely serious or urgent or 2. (of a warning or threat) presaging disaster. His last name, Crowley, is an Anglicized form of Gaelic Ó Cruadhlaoich ‘descendant of Cruadhlaoch’, a personal name composed of the elements cruadh ‘hardy’ + laoch ‘hero’. So it loosely translates out into ‘Descendant of the hardy hero.’ So the descendant of a hero that has something do with either an urgent event or a warning of a disaster. So could Crowley have something to do with one of our beloved heroes?  There is also the theory that his name comes from Aleister Crowley, an occultist who became known as “The wickedest man in the world.” Quite at odds with Mr. “Because I’m so kind.” Both of these thoughts are intriguing but imply very, very different things about the character. 

But what about his design? Crowley has pointed ears, something that has thus far implied fae blood. This would explain why we don’t know his age. So far, all the faeries have been related to Sleeping Beauty (1959) so maybe the theory that he’s based on Diablo (Maleficent's pet raven) is correct? His blue color scheme matches the color that pops up when you summon a Pomefiore character though and notably there is a crow in Snow White and The Seven Dwarves (1937). This could explain his connection to mirrors, since the most famous Disney mirror is the one from Snow White. 

As for knick-knacks he keeps with the crow theme and is covered with shiny stuff. A total of four mirror-like accessories (three on his hip, one on his hat) and eight keys (four on his hip, three on his hat, and one as a cane). He is headmaster so maybe eight keys for eight dorms (Ramshackle, Heartslabyul, Savannaclaw, Octavinelle, Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, and Diasomnia)? Furthermore the 8th key for Ramshackle could be his cane as an indicator that the Prefect and Grim (also the only students of Ramshackle Dorm) are constantly in his hands and at his mercy.

On a slightly less ominous note, he also has glowing yellow eyes. This one has me a bit stumped to be honest. Why do they glow like little demented lightbulbs in his mask? Both Diavolo and the Raven from Sleeping Beauty and Snow White and The Seven Dwarves respectively have yellow eyes, but they don’t glow. The glowing eyes could be another indicator that Crowley is something not quite human.

All in all, while Crowley as a character comes across as largely harmless and rather bumbling, his name and design indicates something slightly more ominous. There are numerous theories going around about who he might be, including the particularly amusing one of him being Malleus’s dad. Additionally, Crowley seems to be particularly tied up with mysteriousness/suspiciousness that surrounds NRC, the numerous supposedly rare overblots that have been occurring, and Ramshackle dorm, which was oh-so-handily empty when Prefect showed up.

[theadventurerslog]

Discworld | Part 1

The Adventurer’s Log

Release Date: 1995

I love Discworld the book series by Terry Pratchett and have done so since I was 13 when I first discovered it by taking Soul Music out of the school library. I'm currently doing a chronological reread and figured I might as well go all in and play the games too while I'm at it. Well, the first two anyway. There are three games, well actually four. Apparently there was an interactive fiction game in 1986 for The Colour of Magic, but I know nothing more beyond that and never see it mentioned. (Have to say I am curious though). For purposes here, however, three games. The first two pull events from the books, while the third focuses on an original character in an original story and that's Discworld Noir, which I would love to try sometime but getting it to run looks like more of a hassle. So for now the first two games.

That said I don't know if I'll go straight to the second one after this one or have some other stuff in between. I'll see how I'm feeling and how things are looking as I already have plans for November and I may want some short stuff for October.

I watched a friend play the second game several years ago, but I don't remember much and I'm pretty sure we didn't do the first game. What I've played so far hasn't been familiar. I'm pretty sure this is a blind play-through and if it's not it may as well be.

As for the Discworld itself, if you don't know, it's a magical flat world resting on the backs of four elephants standing on the back of a giant turtle, the Great A'tuin, drifting through space. Reality tends to be...thin. Things have a tendency to slip through.

This first game pulls its general plot from Guards! Guards! which surrounds a brotherhood summoning an actual dragon to the city of Ankh-Morpork. Dragons at this point in time only exist as much smaller swamp dragons which are far less dangerous aside from having a tendency to explode. The book is the first book in the city watch arc. The game, however, uses the character Rincewind as the main protagonist. Rincewind is a wizard, or wizzard, of the Unseen University in Ankh-Morpork. He's actually terrible at magic, but in his heart, he's a wizard. So, clearly the progression of this plot is going to go completely differently. Which I am okay with and it's nice the game could be played by someone who's never read the books. And it's drawing inspiration without stomping all over its source material and making you wonder why they didn't do their own thing, so I'm okay with it. I just need to tamp down on my own nit-pickiness for smaller details. Inspired by, inspired by. While still being recognizable. Excuse me I may have some aggravations with a certain other...'adaptation but oh no not really'. If you know you know, if you don't, don't worry about it. Ahem.

The game opens with a shot of the Discworld and the Great A'Tuin.

Introducing the Discworld.

Then we get the summoning ritual:

Dragon! Dragon!

Dragon!

Ominous peeking through the wall. Dragon!

And I'm already wondering who may or may not be involved from the book. Like, is the Supreme Grand Master still there heading this up? Are they the same person? It's an interesting thing both knowing and not knowing the plot at all.

From here we're gifted a scene of an Ankh-Morpork street with Death waiting and a drunk ambling down the street.

That's Ankh-Morpork all right.

I'm not sure about Death's voice, but I'm also very used to Christopher Lee from the animated adaptations of Soul Music and Wyrd Sisters (and Christopher Lee, come on, just an unfair fight really) or Ian Richardson from the Hogfather movie adaptation. They did add some effects so he's still got some IMPACT though. Still some sense of speaking in caps. And he's not a main character here anyway. I wonder how much he will pop up... How many deaths will there be? Will Rincewind have a near-Death experience?

The drunk ran into him briefly and got an ominous see you soon. Which... Yeah. The drunk proceeded into an alley and was saved from a mugging by being fried by dragon fire.

With that grisly affair complete we move on to see the Unseen University.

I was given another scene of the Bursar speaking with the Archchancellor talking about the rumours of the dragon. The Bursar notes that dragons don't exist unless you believe in them. Belief is extremely important on the Disc. Nevertheless there seems to be one and it's the university's civic duty to do something about it, so he sends the Bursar off to fetch Rincewind. Do you hate Rincewind, Archchancellor, is that it?

A note about the Archchancellor. He seems to be meant to be Ridcully from the books, and by the point of Guards! Guards! he certainly was the Archchancellor and have been for several books. He hasn't felt very much like Ridcully at this point though and if it wasn't for an 'unhygienic' comment I'd be uncertain if it was him or not. The game just has him labelled as Arch chancellor so I'm sticking with that instead. Except making it the one word it's meant to be. Split in two words is driving me a little nuts.

A note about this whole intro: there's been a fly buzzing around every scene from the drunkard coming on screen, then it bothered Death and continued on through the Archchancellor and Bursar's conversation. I have no idea what to make of that if it's going to be relevant or what. Complete mystery. In some ways it feels like it's just a fun guide to follow as you move through the intro, but also... why?

And finally we move in to Rincewind being woken up by the Bursar banging on his door letting him know the Archchancellor wants to see him, and I was finally given control.

I had a few different things to examine, like the totally not-ominous shape outside to which Rincewind said:

"Yes - a mysterious shape, a sinister shape - a shape fraught with... shapeness.

It must be a plot element - otherwise there'd be a better label!"

I can't remember the exact label. I think it was something like 'mysterious shape' or was that exactly.

The wardrobe had no knob to open it with. Turns out I could have opened it then but I didn't have a handle on the controls yet. Sometimes... it pays to look at manuals! Something I did not do until a little later.

And on top of the wardrobe was the sleeping Luggage. The Luggage is also from the books. It's made of sapient pearwood and rage and will follow its owner everywhere and anywhere on its many legs. At least when it's not sleeping here anyway. I couldn't rouse it yet.

With my examinations complete and my seeming inability to do anything yet I left to go explore the university.

And got traumatized by stairs.

I mean it's a point and click. No manual movement here. You can't die. But the Sierra stair trauma is real, especially after King's Quest IV... After my little moment of gratitude that this isn't King's Quest and the stairs cannot harm me, I started exploring.

I found my way to the dining hall and got my first conversation the UI of which was sure familiar. I had to laugh that I'm playing this after Sam & Max Hit the Road. It's the same system!

This also made me go find a manual to see what these options actually mean and learn other controls.

So from left to right we have

Big smile - greeting

Clown - sarcasm

Question mark - question

Cloud (has an animated lightning bolt I didn't catch) - anger

Waving hand - goodbye

And then other topics can appear too.

I also found out that left clicking is for moving, of course I knew that. Right clicking examines. I'd figure that out. But most importantly, double clicking is how you interact. I also found out if you click on Rincewind you can access his teeny tiny two item inventory which is more like one item because once you get money, it sticks so you only ever have room to carry one other item on his person. The rest is for the Luggage when it's acquired.

I chatted with the wizards which while entertaining didn't give me anything too terribly useful to know at this point which is fine: mostly just chatter about wizardry and the dragon rumours. I like talking to all the people anyway. And Windle Poons was there too! He's an important character in one of the books.

In my continued exploration I found a storage room and got my first inventory item--a broom. I always get excited for my first item.

I also found a statue and a groaner:

I checked out the library and got an aside? An instructional aside? A game equivalent of a footnote as a nod to the books' footnotes?

There were a couple of these informative bits, one explaining the Librarian who is an orangutan--he was turned into one in a magical accident and refused to be changed back--and another discussing L-Space.

So far I've only seen these in the library.

Here's a whole page about L-Space! https://wiki.lspace.org/L-space

So a fun thing here I wasn't expecting and they don't explain at all so purely for book readers. The character giving these little lessons is Twoflower made clear by the glasses and camera, ahem, iconograph. He was in the first two books and was the Disc's first tourist. Circumstances led him and Rincewind to be travelling together and many antics ensued. He was also the original owner of the Luggage.

See? I can do asides too. Back to the game.

I also chatted with the Librarian "Ook!". And was told I'd need a library card to take anything out after much back and forth. I did get a little irked that a lot of the dialogue options led Rincewind to calling him a monkey, which is something you Do Not Do with the Librarian if you don't want the wrath of an orangutan. You do not want the wrath of an orangutan. Rincewind kept getting head bopped. Hard. It's just Rincewind of the books would know better! And he and the Librarian end up getting along pretty well. Then I reminded myself of 'inspired by' and carried on. Things are just going to be different. Not looking at anything horrifically egregious so far; it's okay. Even Rincewind himself isn't exactly right here in other ways either. Just hush that part of my brain.

I finally made my way to the Archchancellor and found out what he wanted.

Unseen University needed to be 'properly represented' in attempts to dispose of the dragon. Can't have some yokel slaying it and have people wondering what wizards are for. Then he sent me to go fetch a copy of Featherwinkle's Concise Compendium of Dragon Lairs from the library.

I ended up going back to Rincewind's room first, and with my knowledge of double clicking was able to open the wardrobe with a little magic and get a pouch of money. With the broom I was able to prod the Luggage awake and get it to join me.

Then back to the library where I was able to just request the book. No card needed when it's a request from the Archchancellor I suppose. Or the Librarian was trying to be rid of me earlier.

I brought the book back and the Archchancellor found the formula for Recoglimento's Neverfailing Dragon's Lair Revealer. He was quick to halt Rincewind's protests as well with making sure his performance would be brought to the attention of the university board when they review his grant next year. Ah, university politics.

So the formula, which thankfully can be accessed when checking the book again, so it's always handy needs four ingredients:

A staff of tumultuous thermaturgy.

A miniature creature of excitable chitters

A container made of the strongest ferrous metal

Dragon's breath! Ulp!

I got a voice actor joke too when I kept trying to talk to the Archancellor:

Archchancellor: "No time for idle chatter." Rincewind: "Well, sorry. As if I can help who supplies my voice."

Rincewind is voiced by Eric Idle. Heehee.

I have goals now! Good old adventure game object collecting!

Next up I'll do another sweep of the university in case anything changed, then check out whatever can be checked out on the grounds and presumably head into the city proper.

[shastafirecracker]

For the ao3 ask game! 3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)? and 6. Favorite title you used.

Oooo well I definitely think the big obvious answer is Wildflowers. I feel like the writing itself is more or less on par with the other stuff I wrote this year, but I'm extra proud of things surrounding it - like that I came out of my shell to participate in an actual event, and that I talked to so many new people who became a wonderful cheer squad and support network, and hopefully at this point just regular friends! <3 I'm also proud of WF because I committed to multiple rounds of editing (I usually don't edit much) and because I was patient (mostly) about the release time (while I do have a personal policy of only posting fics that are complete, I tend to post them THE SECOND they're complete). I feel like it gave me a little more of a taste of what being published is like - having to incubate a project for a lot longer. And I did push myself out of my comfort zone in writing combat & action sequences, which are truly a skill unto themselves that I have not practiced much.

Favorite title - uhhh like 90% of them have been MCR lyrics, but out of those I think that 'don't stop if I fall and don't look back' and 'will you welcome your extinction' are my favorites for being, SO succinctly, just these perfect one-phrase encapsulations of where Wolfwood and Vash are, mentally, at their final canon manga moments. Damn it, MCR is so good.

But I like that I settled also on the one-word title for Wildflowers. I wanted a change from the long-phrase titles, I wanted to echo my other big Trigun AU (Trillium & Ivy), I wanted to be evocative of the inspiration materials I used (especially Ghibli). And although it's in the promo post, I haven't drawn a lot of attention to the fact that it is also a song lyric, from Keep Your Head Up by Ben Howard: "I'll always remember you the same / Eyes like wildflowers with your demons of change." I thought about titling this fic Eyes Like Wildflowers, or Demons of Change, or even another phrase that comes earlier in the song, All the Scars That Come With the Greenness - but I'm really happy I settled on the less-is-more option.

[sylvaridreams]

For the couple who can answer with the juiciest angst ☕️: 15, 17, 19

Going to answer with Inoxiam and Eldulis :evildoer:

From non wholesome romantic asks!

15- Do they have doubts about each other? Are those doubts well-founded or exaggerated?

Inoxiam has his doubts about whether or not Eldulis is truly done with the Court. Which is only somewhat founded. He's seen Eldulis go back to the Court since his assassination attempt once already. Granted, Eldulis then immediately had to turn around and leave when the Court made it clear that poisoning him was intentional and his death was planned and non negotiable. Inoxiam worries that Eldulis won't move on from this ever, that some part of him will always be poisoned by nightmare. <- less well-founded. Overall I think Inoxiam just hasn't seen evidence that Eldulis doesn't want to return, so he assumes he's silently plotting to do so.

And Eldulis doubts Inoxiam likes him much, and believes they're living together out of necessity. During the time period where Auruim is involved with the two of them, Eldulis thinks of himself more as the third wheel/nuisance roommate who needs to get out of the way.

17- Is there a secret that they don't dare tell the other? Why? Will they ever say it?

Inoxiam hasn't told Eldlulis that he is a Whispers agent who was sent to kill him and tear apart the Court. At this point he feels that if there was a good time to say it, it's long behind them, and now it would be awkward at best for him to admit it. More likely it would destroy whatever relationship they have. I don't think he'd say it, but I have toyed with the idea of Tryllwenn and the OoW catching up with him in Cantha and the truth emerging. 😏

And Eldulis hasn't told Inoxiam anything about HIS experience with the Inquest, which I think for him is like... less shame/trauma surrounding the event itself by now, more that he believes it irrelevant and that it's a dead dolyak that he beat for long enough in his youth, causing so many people to push him away back then. Feels embarrassed to have made an issue of it now. (guy who has a demon that looks through his eyes from the Mists and feeds off of the misery he inflicts on others: yeah its embarrassing that I acted like it was ever a problem.) He's also never told Inoxiam what mind peeling feels like for him, that it hasn't always been something he can control, etc, so the first time Noxi witnesses him doing it accidentally he's rightfully like dude what is your fucking problem stop that

19- What's something they can't stand about each other?

Eldulis is a layabout (won't get off his ass and put his books down and go get a job to help pay the rent and put food on the table and buy more steam for the tech) and Inoxiam is a nag (always demanding Eldulis do stuff.)

[mutipede]

So.. the pattern I've been stuck in.

I think of something. Something reminds me of something. It produces an emotion that is strong enough to mentally shut me down completely. Like if I am standing up I have to sit down because it makes me lightheaded.

I keep... I mean, there's no question in my mind and it makes perfect sense that all of this has been the worst thing that I've experienced. But it's like I keep... doubting that, or feeling like I need to find some way to adequately explain because individual traumatic events other than this have been more obviously worse. If I say what happened in those other cases it's like - yep, that'd fuck someone up. I feel like this "should" be comparatively. Less severe. But in reality it's more like.

It continued a pattern of trauma and legitimized past traumas as "of course that happened, and of course that was going to happen, and of course that will always happen" at best - and at worst "that happened because I deserved EVERY traumatic thing that has happened." That feels like a completely reasonable logical conclusion. Before this, traumatic events felt like just that, individual events. This has transformed and recontextualized all previous individual events into "my entire fucking existence has been one long traumatic event with only brief illusions of respite that only occur for the purpose of lulling me into a false sense of security so that I have something to compare the trauma to in order for it to be as damaging and torturous as possible"

It came from a source that I trusted, as much as it is possible for me to trust, at all, which is not very. And platonic relationships are the closest, most important and most valuable that are possible for me to experience. Like "I am not gay but if I wrote some of the stuff I have felt, you would most likely react with:

lol

Anyways. There are more reasons that are harder to talk about and explain, but. Point is it feels unsurvivable. Self-obliterating. I don't know why I'm still here. I genuinely mean that in every way possible. I shouldn't be and I don't want to be and it really has not meaningfully improved in months and I do not anticipate it being possible to improve and the only thing preventing me from killing myself is fear of nonexistence.

So a thought reminds me of that. ⬆️ If I listed the things that have triggered / can trigger this shit... It's too fucking much. Minor pathetic shit.

So it shuts itself down in a protective function. That itself has been disorienting. Have written about it a bit, both for the purpose of documenting shit and on the off chance anyone reads it and goes "that sounds familiar maybe what is happening is [THING]" because... I don't dislike my therapist but I don't know how much of a specifically trauma background she's got and there's so much we haven't covered because there's so much and it's hard to talk about both in terms of being incredibly painful and logistically within the frequency and length of appointments it's a fucking lot lol. So we keep going like "alright we're focusing on depression" "hmm alright this is more severe we're focusing on grief" "alright shit maybe let's just try and get the absolute basics of survival" and I don't know how much anything is helping and as much as I feel guilty for it, as though it were some personal failing caused by not trying hard enough or not being good enough, but it hasn't felt hugely helpful.

When this shutting down happens, it's like. If thinking about something is like looking directly at it. For a while, all I can do is the equivalent to looking at something in your peripheral vision. My own fucking brain AND my everyday surroundings have become fucking. Strewn. With cognitohazards. So it has to deflect as much of my perception as it can.

It feels like it changes the shape of the thought. I'm struggling to find analogies here I am genuinely curious if anyone knows what I mean. An ordinary thought - it is what it is. If a thought provokes an emotional response then it's like a particular shaped thought fits into a particular shaped slot that activates the associated emotion. But if that happens too frequently for these particular thoughts it will kill me. So it averts my fucking mental gaze as much as possible. Slides right off like teflon. And it distorts the shape of the thought so it doesn't fit into the slot and no emotion occurs.

But I don't know if it's just the fact that "thoughts that will kill me" as a category includes SO. AGONIZINGLY. MANY. things I loved and enjoyed and was passionate about and had long incorporated into the core of my being. Or if it's just that the process itself is sort of a universal scattershot approach. But in effect it means that no actual undiluted thoughts or emotions are able to occur, at all. And during these times I don't exist. The corpse is basically on autopilot. The whole process really feels like something else taking over and doing these things outside of my control. The sensation the other day of "experience emotion -> within the space of a few minutes, entire body feels like temperature drops several degrees, and all emotions completely cease happening" - there's been a few instances I can think of where weird shit has happened - like, states of mind that have a similar... SMELL, somehow. But I don't think I have ever experienced something quite like that.

But it doesn't last. Like, I can't really enjoy the lack of suffering because I'm not there to enjoy it anyways (and "enjoyment" and "relief" are, themselves, emotions, therefore also get suppressed / dampened /whatever it is that is happening) - but also... I dunno, it's like I'm not there but I'm still there. And I still WANT. As fucking useless as that is. I want to enjoy things. I want to do things. Make things. Think about things. I want things to be okay. I am fully aware the entire time that I am wanting these things that I am wanting what is impossible, but it's still there. And the... suppressor, it can't keep it up indefinitely - if it's a thing that wants things then it wouldn't want to do that anyways, since that would be the same as destroying me permanently.

So. I'm just stuck with the constant back and forth. I exist, I experience emotion, emotion tries to kill me, [?] forcibly ceases emotion, I don't exist. Gradually I exist again. And it repeats.

I don't know what to do with this. I don't know what to do with anything.

(Pffff. Starting to hallucinate people walking behind me at work, I don't think that's a particularly good choice for "what to do" but interesting that that just starts happening NOW)