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#let me go to germany! please
eachmostremembering · 11 months
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i'm thinking about travel and if i bust my ass i can finish undergrad by the summer and scrape together some grants and loans and beg i can maybe go to germany
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coldflasher · 9 months
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currently experiencing The Horrors (thinking abt the fact that i have to start going into the office again from tomorrow)
this will either fix me entirely or cause me to descend so deeply into my burnout sinkhole that i will never be seen or heard from again
#regrettably i think maybe getting out of the house for a few hours might help. don't tell the ceo that#idk im having a really hard time keeping my head above water right now#i basically didn't have any time off last year just to do nothing. every holiday i took was to like. do an activity#like go to america or germany for cons or travel for a concert or some other event#whereas i usually use 75% of my time off to get some desperately needed rest#im really running on empty at this point but i really don't wanna use a bunch of my annual leave this early in the year#also i need to start learning how to say no to people#because last year i used probably 60% of my leave for other people#like. i used 2 weeks to go to washington with my brother as his 18th bday present. that was literally half my leave#and then i used another 3-4 days to visit relatives#and this year i was like 'im gonna be proper selfish with my a/l this year and use it ALL to do what i want to do'#then my mum rang me up and asked me to use a day of it to hang out with her and i said yes. like an idiot#like don't misunderstand me. i love my mum. but i already see her every weekend#and i also have to like. not tell her when i book leave for myself because she'll be like 'oh so we can do something!'#NO. PLEASE. LET ME ROT IN PEACE.#im just so frustrated that i im such a pushover and i already broke my promise to myself this early on#like. why can i not advocate for myself ever. why can i not just. disappoint people. and have that be okay.#personal
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xcziel · 1 month
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ugh. getting the urge to travel again
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starchild--27 · 1 year
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Why aren’t the Gaza and Palestine tags trending anymore?
Are some people just done talking because of the ICJ’s hearing and subsequent ruling? (That’s when I noticed the tag start to dip.)
It’s still happening.
Innocent people are still being murdered
Innocent people are still starving
Innocent people are still losing their parents, siblings, children, friends, and neighbors
Innocent people are still fearing for their lives
Israel is currently committing war crimes with the full support of: President Biden (USA), Chancellor Scholz (Germany), Prime Minister Sunak (UK), President Macron (France), Prime Minister Meloni (Italy).
I just don’t understand what’s happening, why is this losing steam? Please, someone, explain it to me. I genuinely want to know.
My pinned post is still, and for the foreseeable future will always be, sulfurcosmos post, which shows you ways you can help Palestine - but always do your own research!
Find ways to spread the word.
Tell your family, tell your friends, tell your coworkers.
Repost others posts that help spread the word.
Lift up Palestinians voices.
Please don’t let this just go away.
Please don’t let those voices be silenced.
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lieahsblog · 7 months
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i’ve run out of smart words and metaphors, just please please help this father from gaza evacuate his son for treatment. the goal is $15k please help them reach this ASAP.
EDIT: UPDATED campaign link for Fadi has been posted so keep scrolling. I also posted the campaign link of razan(see pinned) who’s mother needs treatment. Razan’s campaign has fallen under the radar so please share and donate. Please scroll and read the whole post for the crucial info. thanks for sharing!
EDIT: CAN YOU ALL PLEASE AMPLIFY MY PINNED AS WELL!! PLEASE SHARE THIS POST BUT ALSO MY PINNED POST!!!!!!! ITS URGENT SO DONT IGNORE. DONT KNOW HOW MANY OTHER WAYS TO TELL YOU. RAZANS FAMILY STILL NEEDS TO GO TO EGYPT SO PLEASE SHARE MY PINNED AND DONATE!!!!! THERE NEEDS TO BE DONATIONS, REBLOGS ALONE CANT PAY FOR THEIR REGISTRATION TO LEAVE. DONATE PLEASE
edit: are u guys even reading the edits. AMPLIFY RAZANS CAMPAIGN. ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
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UPDATE TO EVERYONE REBLOGGING: Fadi and his family have evacuated to egypt now. They still need to cover living expenses AND his medical expenses for his son so this is Fadi’s new campaign: https://www.gofundme.com/f/brain-surgery-of-a-sixyearold-child-due-atrophy?utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet&utm_medium=chat&utm_source=whatsApp
this is Fadi’s p@yp@l to help with their living expenses: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=GLVYEA82FPMX2
MORE URGENT INFO: I would like to add that another family needs your help. I’ve made several posts about Razan’s family(including her mother who needs treatment) and this campaign has fallen under the radar. their goal is $50k and they have not raised even half. we really need to pick up the slack, so i would like to please ask everyone to donate to razan’s campaign AND find a friend to match your donation!! one you have done so, please make your own post about razan’s campaign and share it with all your mutuals. we need this campaign to have so much more visibility so please join me in amplifying and #floodthedash4razan!! let’s work together and help razan and her family. give some love, support and donations towards razan’s campaign‼️‼️ I would like to direct everyone to please AMPLIFY and share Razan’s campaign(please also checked my pinned where you can see more about her campaign!!) i will also share her campaign in this post, again please show some support and amplify and donate to her:
Thank you all for sharing!
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ceesimz · 2 months
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Reverie - Part 1
Autistic Reader x Barça Femení - Part 2
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Hey, I have some things to say before you start reading. ASD is a very vast spectrum, no two people with it experience the same stuff on a day-to-day basis. This story is written with my knowledge from people I know, and also from my own experiences living with autism too. So don't take this as 'the' perspective, this is a drop in the ocean and this most definitely isn't a handbook on autism. If anyone has any questions or thoughts about this, or ASD in general, you are more than welcome to message me or drop something in my inbox! This is just part one, if you like this first half of the story (because I have no idea how this will go down), let me know if you wanna see the second part, it's ready to go whenever.
Big big thanks to @copper-16 for editing it and leaving such lovely comments on it, I wouldn't have the confidence to post this if it wasn't for your words. Thank you for taking a chance on this story and opening yourself up to learn more, the world needs more people like you and we're all much better off that you're here🫶🏼🫶🏼
This is my favourite thing I've ever written, and I kinda feel like I'm giving away a piece of my heart by posting this (dramatic much), let me know what you think, hope you like it :)
“Are you ready to go in?”
Are you?
Are you ready to walk into a new setting, head held high, and show your teammates you are worth it? 
Or are you going to back out? Reverse right out the parking space, speed off to the airport, and catch a flight to god knows where?
That's simply not a possibility. Even if the thought of walking through those reception doors that stare tauntingly at you from across the car park perturbs you more than anything else, there's no backing out now.
Barcelona, the pride of Catalunya, the dominants of Europe, doesn't accept quitters. And that fact glares at you, along with all of its history and values held in the iconic badge that countless legends had adorned, and with it came a legacy you weren’t sure you had the strength to bare on your back. The new number nine, born and raised in Norway but made into the player you are now in Germany.
Here you were, after five years playing for Frankfurt, where you had grown accustomed to a comfortable routine with familiar faces and the same surroundings for so long, now in a new country that held so many unknowns. For someone with so many disadvantages ever present in their life, living in three different countries is a pretty impressive achievement.
Please, let it all be worth it.
After a few frustrating years in the Frauen-Bundesliga, you had signed for the best team in Europe and, arguably, the rest of the world too. Frankfurt had been a beautiful experience, one that had changed your life, but as a result of many, many long discussions with family and friends and psychologists, you had come to the terrifying realisation that it was time for a new challenge.
Why was that absolutely petrifying? Because you and life changes did not get along. Even after 26 years of living, it just wasn’t meant to be. But, such is life, and chances had to be taken.
You'd always be thankful for Frankfurt. Moving to play there was the first time you took such a huge leap of faith, and it had worked out well, eventually. In your eyes, the first season there was a disaster, but your mother would say it was the proudest year of her life. It had been difficult for her to see at times just how much you struggled at points, sure, but you made it to the light at the end of the tunnel and, by the end of it, you were a completely different person in the most incredible way possible. From then on, you continued to grow.
Yet, that was the thing with the German side. When you joined, they were a club with a legacy most teams would envy, but they never amounted to anything more during your time there. You fell in love with the staff, your teammates, and just about everything else during your time there. The only problem, which was pretty damn big in the grand scheme of things, was that you fell out of love with the football you were playing.
You were able to grow and survive at Frankfurt. You wanted to flourish and thrive at Barcelona.
Except, in comparison to the average human, there were a lot more obstacles ahead that could prevent you from accomplishing that aspiration. Over your life, you had overcome many bumps in the road, some leaving a harsh imprint on your self-worth and others hardly affecting you. For example, talking to the girl you were roomed with at 16 at the Norway Football Team camp had turned out to be one of the best things you could have done. Yet, in the same breath, playing for the national team had left you in a broken state, and as a result, you haven't played for them in a few years. 
The back and forth travel was too much, and opting out of playing for Norway, as much as it broke your heart that you weren’t strong enough to represent your country on the international stage, it allowed you to rest and recuperate so that you were at the top of your game for your club. Did you dream of wearing your country’s crest one day? Yes, all footballers did. But you weren’t in a place to do that, and you’re not sure you ever will be again.
Signing for Barcelona could be life-changing, but it could also be world-shattering in the worst way imaginable. This was a pretty sizable leap of faith, and the only way that faith could form into something incredible is if you made that happen. You, no one else. That thought filled you with both determination and crushing anxiety. This just could not be another failed attempt. There was no way you could come back.
Ultimately, it would have been downright psychopathic to turn down such an amazing offer from Barcelona. Two years playing for a club that's won three of the last four Champion's League finals? A team that had just completed the quadruple for the first time in their history? Yeah, nonsensical.
However, like always, there were a number of doubts that spiralled from those incredible stats. Did they need you? If they had a mostly flawless season, did they really need a 26 year old woman whose mind hardly functioned like every other person? Did they really need someone who couldn't even play for the national team anymore because they were too overwhelmed with their life? Did they need someone who needed their hand held through every life event, big or small? Did they-
“Hey, you ready?” 
That voice had some kind of magic to it. It was like clock-work, this always happened when she was around; that voice in your head consuming you with unwanted thoughts was erased as soon as you tore your eyes away from the doors and looked at the woman beside you. 
Ingrid. The one person that had single-handedly convinced you to come here. To Barcelona, playing in a hot country, with people you don’t know, speaking a language you can’t understand- oh my God, what have you done?!
“I… god, I don’t know.” You breathed out in a whisper, hardly intelligible. 
The world around you honed in on this one moment here, the peak of your career so far. Apart from Ingrid and the doors to the building and what was in store behind them, there was nothing else that could grasp your attention. There could be a blazing fire behind your car, a lion running full speed towards your car door, or a thief in the back seat for all you knew. Nothing else mattered. The two sides of your mind, the devil and angel on your shoulders were battling it out again, as they always were, whilst your hands fidgeted anxiously in your lap.
“You have to go in at some point, snuppa. You can’t stay in the car forever.” Ingrid softly reminded you, moving to take hold of your hand to comfort your stimming. “It will be a really good day, I promise. My years here so far have been the best of my life, everyone is so nice and welcoming. I never thought I could enjoy training as much as I do now. You will be fine, I have no doubts.”
“I’m not sure about that one.” You laughed nervously, eyes back on the building before you, now slightly glazed over and blurred. 
“I am certain about everything I just said.” Ingrid stated definitively, squeezing your hand. “Plus, not everyone in there are complete strangers. You have me, Mapi, you know Caro and you’ve met Jonatan and some other staff members. You know Loren, the team psychologist who you can go see any time you want. We’ll get you past this part of today, and then you have the whole afternoon to do whatever you’d like.”
You nodded at her words, desperately trying to remind yourself of them over and over so that they stick, and you can get through those damn doors. 
“You know how much easier my life would be if I knew how everything was going to play out?” You blurted out a moment later, Ingrid smiling in amusement. “It would be a breeze, Ingrid.”
“It would also make your life very boring, min skatt.”
“For you, it would be. For me, I'd live freely.”
Ingrid just laughed and shook her head, squeezing your hand once more before looking at the time on her watch.
“Come on. We have to do this one way or another, and I'm not letting you go in on your own. You want to make me late to training?” She teased, targeting your weak spot. Evil.
“That's cruel, Ingrid. So cruel.” You rolled your eyes but nevertheless stepped out of the car once you'd turned it off.
You didn't make it far though. Once you had gotten your kit bag from the boot of the car, you closed it and froze. Eyes unmoving from the daunting building in front of you.
“Would you like some company after training? We can stay at home, or go out for food, or do anything you'd like.” Ingrid offered, snapping you out of your anxious trance.
Even after… god, ten years now, you were still sometimes left dumb-founded by how well Ingrid knew you. A lot of the time, you yourself are in the dark about what you need, but your fellow Norwegian just gets it, even when you don't. It's pretty safe to say that your life, your whole career, would look a hell of a lot different if you had never met Ingrid.
If you put her characteristics into a different section when it comes to your favourite things about her, the thing you love most about the defender beside you is how she treats you. Sure, the majority of people treated you with respect and kindness, but the defender's love and care was on a whole other level. Like in this scenario now, when she knows you're too overwhelmed by the situation that confronts you to be able to think clearly. But here she is, giving you clear and thought-out options that off-kilt the tunnel vision you have on this one miniscule event, and now gives you something to look forward to. 
It reminds you that the world won't end if this training session doesn't go how you want it to, that life goes on afterwards. It makes the road clearer, the journey easier, and allows solace to be found in a down-right terrifying moment.
The funny thing is, however, is that your new home is actually Ingrid's home. No, you weren't living with her, but you were indeed staying in her apartment. She basically lived at Mapi's apartment anyway, so the second she caught wind of your transfer, she immediately offered her disregarded apartment up to you. It was a huge item checked off the ‘things that need doing after uprooting your entire settled, content, perfectly routine life’ to-do list, but you couldn't quite relish in the relief yet.
That's because, though it went unsaid, another factor of Ingrid's offer of letting you stay was so that, if all went wrong and you couldn't make a life for yourself in Barcelona, there was no tenancy to rip up and ultimately it would be a lot less hassle than if you had rented an entirely new place. Ingrid's excuse of not changing your name on the tenancy for now was so that you could settle in with as little stress as possible, but you knew the underlying meaning. Basically, it was a giant get out of jail free card.
“I think I would like that a lot, actually. Thanks.” You said to the taller girl next to you, whose arm had come to wrap around your shoulders.
“Perfect! María has some things to do but I'm free all afternoon, so we can figure something out. For now though, we have to train.” 
Taking in a deep breath, you nodded once more.
“That's all it is. Just training.” You told yourself, physically shaking the anxiety off of your chest and marching forwards. You got as far as those damn doors before you froze on the spot again. “Fuck, this is so scary.”
“I know it is.” Ingrid sympathised, rubbing a hand up and down your back. “We've got this though. It's just training, right?” 
“It's just training. And a few introductions. And about a million new people.” You sighed. “Will you stick with me the whole time?”
“Like glue, søster.” Ingrid said firmly, placing a kiss on your forehead. “Let's go.”
And just like that, you did walk into the building with your head held high, disregarding the burdening nerves and replacing them with a deep-rooted determination to prove you are worth it. Maybe your teammates would think otherwise if they knew the secret you were keeping from them, but for now, you would put up a front and act just like them. Your best bet at succeeding here is to fit in, and that's what you'll do. 
Ingrid wasn't impressed with this tactic of yours, not in the slightest. Jonatan and other senior staff members knew about you, Loren the psychologist knew about you, and Mapi knew. Besides that, everyone else was in the dark. There was only so long Ingrid could last before she had to tell someone at least, like Alexia or Irene or Marta, because she wanted the best for you and the best couldn't be given if your needs weren't catered for.
Like now, as she watched your whole face change in a split second as the mask came down so fast that, had she blinked a second later, she would have missed it entirely. The tension to the way you held your shoulders was all the evidence she needed that your whole nervous system was wracked with dread, and though she should expect it by now, it didn't stop the jab of sympathy she felt for you.
Of course she knew how difficult this would be for you, she just had really high hopes. Sometimes, even after all these years, it slipped her mind how much you still struggled with things. You'd gotten a lot better at dealing with various different circumstances and that mere fact could bring tears to her eyes if she thought about how far you had come, but moments like these were a snap back to the reality you still lived.
You lived so beautifully, you were so strong now, that your struggles were hardly visible anymore. Yet, when one knows a person for so long, they come to learn the signs. Ingrid knew you like the back of her hand. It still amazed her how quick you put the mask back up, normally being so care-free and light around her. But here, outside of the room everyone was due to meet in for the morning, a feigned smile on your face and a falsity to your posture signified all that Ingrid needed to know.
Even despite your dawdling in the car park, you and Ingrid were some of the first to arrive at the meeting, only a handful of unfamiliar faces scattered around the room. Jonatan looked up at the door upon your arrival and his face lit up, immediately dropping what he was doing to come and greet you with a beaming smile. He offers a gentle handshake, also being sure to speak in clear English so that your mind wasn’t overloaded more than it already was. All of it was reassuring, especially as he kept you off to the side as the room slowly began to fill up, before guiding you to the last chair on the front row beside Ingrid so that the meeting could start. Thankfully, to your relief, he gave you a short introduction to the rest of the squad, you only briefly turning and giving the room a general wave before allowing Jonatan to move onto more pressing matters.
From then on, you were rushed off your feet with introductions and training, all of which weren’t half as bad as you’d expected. During the short walk from the meeting to the changing room, a few others came along to properly greet you, all whilst Ingrid stayed close to your side. Mapi had also come bounding along after you the second you left the first room, Ingrid wincing at the excitement her girlfriend met you with but instantly that worry was erased as soon as you turned to Mapi with a matching overjoyed smile. 
By the time you actually got onto the pitch, you had spoken to almost all of the team already. And like Ingrid said, they were just as amazing as you had hoped they would be. Every single one, in their own ways, welcomed you to the team and made small talk with you for a few moments before letting whoever next came by to have their own chance at greeting you. But, it wasn’t until you were about to join in with the warm-up that the person you’d been most nervous about meeting came along.
Your new captain, Alexia. The powerhouse of the Barcelona team, the one you had to leave the best impression on.
A few days prior, amidst a conversation in the corner of Ingrid’s favourite cafe, you had sheepishly demanded that she give you a run-down of each and every single member of the team. There had been Ona, who Ingrid described as a lightning fast defender whose jestful clapbacks were even quicker than her sprint bursts on the pitch. Then Cata, the new number one goalkeeper whose cheek was sometimes too much for even the younger members of the team. Jana, a surefire future talent who was often found beside her quieter, more reserved but equally talented counterpart, Bruna. Patri and Pina were much the same, as were Vicky and Salma. Ingrid gave you a short but detailed profile of all of them, leaving the most important for last. Alexia, who initially came across as slightly cold due to the stoic, focused expression she usually wore. But, to her teammates and those closest to her, she was a world class leader, an even better player, and most importantly, a defiantly caring person with a personality that had more sides than a kaleidoscope. 
Upon hearing the exit door slamming shut, you turned your attention to the direction of the sound, only to be met with her. Casually strolling over, squinting in the face of the sun, she came over to you with a… a smile on her face?
“Hola! You must be the novota, nice to meet you.” She beamed, inviting you into a quick, polite hug before standing back. “Happy to be here?”
As always with new people, especially someone like the woman before you, you floundered internally for a moment, so many replies flitting around your mind with so little time to react.
“Y-yeah! Really happy to be here, thank you, Alexia.” You landed on, and judging by her reaction, it was the right thing to say. 
“Good, I am glad to hear that. Sorry I was not here for the meeting, you’ve met everybody already, sí?”
“Yes, Jonatan introduced me in the briefing.” 
“Good. Bueno, let’s get started. I am excited to be working with you.” The Spaniard smiled brightly once more, before gesturing loosely for the pair of you to join the rest of the group.
The rest of the day, as they say, is history.
It honestly went by in a blur, and if Ingrid was at all surprised by the way you literally fell into your bed when you arrived home, not surfacing from the newfound safe haven until about an hour later, she didn’t show it. This was Ingrid after all, and every quirk of yours, new or old, still brought a smile to her face. Ten years later and she couldn’t help but love you more each time she saw you.
The first week goes a lot smoother than you could have dreamed of to be honest - it’s only the start of preseason after all. But, there is still plenty of time for cracks to show. It only takes two days for all your progress to tear at the seams.
On the first day of your second week, you’re walking into training on your own for the first time since you joined. Shouldn’t be a big deal, right? Wrong! Big fucking deal actually, because now it’s like walking blind, heading straight for what feels like danger. Unguided, no one by your side, only joined by the weight of an elephant seated right on your heart.
With the help of Ingrid of course, who else, you had established somewhat of a routine that made the transition so much easier. But it wasn’t quite clear until now, just how much easier it had made showing up to training everyday. Because, without your Norwegian counterpart who would be absent from training, you were left to show up all alone, and suddenly everything became ten times harder. 
Ingrid was more than just your friend, she was the one constant in this new life you lived that was always present. Anything you needed, one glance from you in her direction and she’d be with you in an instant. She, as stupid as it may seem, was the foundation of your routine, and now that she wasn’t here, all the hard work you’d made to settle in seemed to crumble under your feet. 
Three weeks of living in Barcelona, one week of training successfully completed, just for you to end up back at square one. And that meant you were trapped in your own body, limbs acting entirely on autopilot as your legs carried you over to those stupid doors that once again stood intimidatingly in front of you. Just like last week, except this time there was no one to coax you out of your shell, no one to mindlessly guide you over to one of the tables in the canteen, no one to walk you out onto the training pitch. You were all alone.
An unfortunate tactic hadn’t left your habits after all these years: avoidance. What better way to deal with something, then to not deal with it all, right? Right? 
Obviously, you couldn’t miss the whole day, you still had commitments and expectations you needed to live up to. If there was one thing that you couldn’t handle (apart from almost everything in this neurotypical world) it was letting people down, disappointing them.
So, if you opted out of breakfast for the day and beelined straight for the changing rooms instead, what business was it to anyone else? You were here, that’s all they could ask for. The plan was to get dressed into your training kit as fast as physically possible, before heading out onto the pitch for some time alone before everyone else came along. 
…Except, just as you were lacing up your boots, hand trembling at an embarrassing intensity as you did so, the door opened prematurely. And, really, out of everyone, did it have to be her?
“Oh. I did not expect anyone to be in here. Bon dia.” Alexia smiled at you, heading to her cubby just a few seats away from yours.
“Bon dia.” You muttered sheepishly, keeping your head down and tying your laces at a wildly uncontrolled speed. If Alexia noticed, she didn’t mention it. Thank god.
“I was just going to get some extra practice in, if you wanted to join me.” She offered, swapping her trainers for her boots since she was already in her training gear.
Great minds think alike..?
“Yeah, I was going to do the same thing. Thanks.”
“Ay, it's nothing. It's great that you're so hard working, you’re already fitting right in.” Sorry, could you say that again, or write it down even? “Ready?”
“What? Oh- sorry, yes, I’m ready.” You gave her a tight-lipped smile before slipping past where she stood in the doorway and heading towards the pitch.
“How are you feeling about your time here so far?” The captain asked kindly, the beating sound of boots clicking against the floor echoing far too long in your ears.
“Um, good. It’s an honour playing for this team, so.” You shrugged, offering an almost robotic, rehearsed answer.
“And what about how you actually feel? Not what you’re supposed to feel?” Alexia inquired lightly, an earnest and sympathetic look across her face. Slightly suspicious.
“Well… still good. It’s just different, isn’t it. Yeah.” You mumbled, cheeks flushing bright red as you crossed your arms tightly over your chest.
“Of course it is different. You were in Germany for five years, right?” You nodded affirmatively. “So it is a big, big change. I haven’t been anywhere else but here for twelve years, I cannot imagine adjusting to anywhere else.”
Oh, Ingrid. Seriously?
“I’m here though, I have to leave Germany behind.” You stated in a flat voice, honestly quite done with this topic but it’d be rude to voice so.
“If that is how you want to think, then do it like that. You have transitioned very well, we are all impressed.” Alexia shrugged with a soft smile, punching in the code for the storage cupboard and opening it soon after. “Grab the footballs, I will get some tiny goals. The others can get the rest when they’re done filling their faces.”
Thank god for that.
Alexia ended that conversation there, directing her focus on training from that moment on, much to your relief. All that you learnt from this day was that you needed to have a conversation with Ingrid. Your sixth sense was strong, even if to others it seemed like Alexia was just being an averagely kind person, you just knew. 
The good thing was, you couldn’t quite call that day a disaster. In the end, you got through it, even squeezing in a few jokes and laughs here and there throughout the day.
It’s the next day that the first incident occurred. It happened like this; Ingrid isn’t in again, you learn she’s got some kind of stomach virus, so you turn up once more on your own. This time, it wasn’t quite so scary, but like yesterday you skipped breakfast again. And just like yesterday, Alexia met you in the changing rooms to do some early practice again. Except, there was one fatal flaw to your routine this day. It came back and bit you in the ass pretty harshly.
“Ale, what are you doing after this?” Mapi wondered from your right as she stood up after Jona had ended training for the day.
“Eh, nothing.” She shrugged, going to ask you the same thing as she reached her hands out to help you up.
For all you knew, the Spanish pair you were sandwiched between could be speaking absolute gibberish, nothing was registering. As soon as you stood up, everything went hazy. And then… your vision had gone, your body felt unbelievably heavy, and had it not been for Alexia’s tight grip, you’d have fallen back there and then.
“Hey!” Alexia called out in concern, feeling you go limp in her hold. “Mapi, she’s fainting!”
“What!?” Mapi cried, immediately falling to her knees as Alexia safely guided you to the floor.
“I don’t know, she just collapsed!” 
Her voice dripped with worry as Mapi frantically looked around, only to find most people had headed inside already. Meanwhile, you were still awake, not totally out cold, but your eyes ached unbearably and you’d lost all control of your movements. Alexia’s hands flitted over your body, looking for any obvious problems but she couldn’t find any. She repeated your name over and over, only receiving somewhat of a whimper in reply.
“Mapi, go find someone, now!” Alexia demanded, the defender instantly rising to her feet and heading for the door. The captain turned back to you, her hands gently coming up to cradle your face where you lay on your side. “Hey, I need you to listen! Can you hear me?”
“Mhm.” You whined, providing the woman before you with an ounce of relief.
“What’s wrong? You need to tell me so we can help you, cariño, you just fainted on us.” She said frantically, her wide eyes boring into yours when you opened them.
Identifying the problem, even in your state, was quite simple. It was a common problem, something you were well versed with, though you rarely ever let it get this bad.
“Forgot to eat.” You mustered up your remaining strength, which really was very little, to answer her and quell her worries.
Thinking back to this moment in probably an hour’s time, you’d laugh at Alexia’s face when you said those three words, because she looked utterly perplexed.
“You forgot to eat?” Alexia repeated with a frown, but she couldn’t dwell on it much longer because Mapi came running over with the medical team hot on her tails.
“Is she awake?” The brunette woman asked desperately, opting out of kneeling back beside you so as to not overcrowd you.
“Yes, and she said she forgot to eat today?” Alexia looked up at her friend, refusing to shift out of the way and instead choosing to stick by your side. 
“Oh, that would explain it.” Mapi sighed in relief, only puzzling Alexia more. Was this… normal for you?
The medics fussed over you, asking you questions and ultimately overwhelming you way too much, something Mapi notices quickly.
“Oye, basta, slow down. Her blood sugar is low, she needs something quickly. Get her an energy gel.” Mapi commanded them, now joining you by your head and smiling her bright smile down at you, combing back some of your hair. “Hola preciosa, we'll get you back feeling better soon.” Just as she said that, a member of the medical staff pulled out one of the energy gels the team used for games. “Can you have this for me? It will make you feel better, I promise.”
With a nod, the people around you helped you to sit up as Mapi tore  open the gel packet, with Alexia still almost frozen in confusion. The defender noticed, grinning in amusement and quickly flicking her ear to bring her back down to earth.
“Ah! What's that for?” Alexia winced, watching on as Mapi shook her head and handed you the gel pack.
Your hand trembled as you raised it to your mouth, hardly possessing the strength to squeeze it enough to get anything out of it, but just as Mapi went to help you, Alexia got there first.
“It’s okay, here.” She does it for you, one hand on the packet and the other on your elbow that shakes under her hold. She seemed to be grounded now, knowing that it isn't the right moment to be wrapped up in her own thoughts when you're here in front of her, needing security and comfort whilst it takes a couple minutes to come back to yourself. “Easy with it. You'll feel better soon.”
And you did, literally no less than two minutes after having the energy gel, your nausea and dizziness and whatnot near enough disappeared. Though, your physical symptoms gave way for a barrage of anxiety, because this situation would consequently lead to an unwanted and challenging (but most likely necessary) conversation with Jonatan and the rest of the staff. They had also seen you, on the floor, near enough passed out, as a result of your own actions. You could only imagine the things they were thinking right now, and that unknown was scarier than the actual situation that had occurred beforehand.
“Feeling good now. Thanks everyone.” You said shyly, rising to your feet and avoiding everyone's gaze.
“You sure?” Alexia checked, giving you a look that tells you that you shouldn't even try to bullshit her.
“Well, a little bit… woozy, I guess. But much better than before, I swear.” You nodded, hating the feeling of everyone’s eyes on you. 
“Let’s go inside, I’ll ask the catering staff to make up some food for you, if you want?” Mapi offered as her hand hovers against your back, not touching but guiding you back inside the main building.
“Okay.” You shrugged.
Meanwhile Alexia trailed behind, trying to figure out how, as captain, she could help this situation. It’s in her best interest to care for her team, and given what she had learnt, it was now clear that there was a lot more she could do than sit back and watch. She didn’t want to come across as overbearing, something Ingrid had warned her about, but she realised it was time to step in.
“Why don’t we go to one of the office rooms rather than the canteen?” She suggested just as Mapi went to open the door heading into said room. The defender should have thought of that sooner, but she’s glad her friend mentioned it, realising it’s most definitely the better option right now for you. 
You were taken to an empty office, followed into the room by Alexia and Mapi and some of the physios, and if they weren’t overcrowding you outside, they definitely were now. In all honesty, as much as you were grateful for their care, you wanted to burrow under your duvet in bed at home and not surface for probably about a week. You wanted to grab a tray of cookies, eat them whilst seated on the edge of your bed so you didn’t get crumbs everywhere, and crawl under the sheets safe in the darkness of the four walls you had struggled to leave the past two days.
But no, you were here, stuck in a reality that in no way felt real at all. What were you doing here? Sat at a round table, surrounded by medical staff chatting between themselves, not really bothered about your blip anymore, whilst two of Spain’s greatest players stand off to the side, both pairs of eyes trained solely on you.
You, a no-name off the back of an unsuccessful run in Germany that had just collapsed after training. Them, Champion’s League winners and well-established in the sport for years already, and decades to come.
“Preciosa?” Mapi appeared beside you suddenly, speaking softly as her hand fell on your shoulder. “Is it okay if I leave now? Ingrid is still sick at home, I promised I would get back to her as fast as I could. If you need me to stay, I can. They won’t keep you here for much longer, they’re just making sure you eat before you get back home.”
She should be with Ingrid, her girlfriend who is much worse off at home. Not with you, who simply made a foolish mistake and was now wasting everyone’s time.
“Go home.” You told her as your own hands squeezed anxiously at your upper arms where they sat crossed on the table.
“Okay.” Mapi smiled pitifully down at you, giving you a light forehead kiss before backing off. She pulled Alexia to the side, giving her a warning glare. “Look after her, for me and for Ingrid. Protect her, too. Don’t let them overwhelm her, she just wants to get home.”
“Sí. Of course.” Alexia replied firmly, a solid look in her eyes that Mapi knew to trust immediately. 
The defender slipped out of the room with no further fuss, leaving you alone with Alexia and the medical staff. Not for long, though.
“Guys, could you give us a moment? And can someone go collect her food from the canteen, please.” 
They nodded and stepped out of the room, Alexia closing the door softly behind them. She turned back to you, watching as you kept your head down and focused on the shapes you traced on the wood of the table. Your shoulders were visibly tense, so uptight they’re basically touching your ears, and she noticed just how intensely your leg was bouncing up and down.
“Do you need anyth-”
“Did Ingrid tell you?” You asked bluntly, gulping back the lump in your throat that really had no place making itself known at this moment - now was not the time for a meltdown. Save it for later, in the safety of your flat.
Alexia blew out a breath, coming over to perch on the edge of the desk a few seats away from you.
“If you’re talking about what I think you are, then… yes. She did tell me.” She answered cautiously, trying to gauge your reaction but you didn’t give her much, just a single nod. “She did it with the best intentions though. It wasn’t to… purposely go behind your back. She just wants the best for you, and the more people that know, the more support you can have here.”
“I guess.” You murmured under your breath, clearing your throat after and moving to rest your chin atop your arms.
“Why… why didn’t you want anybody to know?” The midfielder wondered in a soft tone, trying hard not to scare you off or go over the top. If she wants to help you and understand you, which she desperately does, this is the pathway she has to, albeit reluctantly, go down.
“Wanted people to get to know me, not a label.” You frowned, hastily wiping the tear that slips out with the frustration slowly bubbling inside of you. “Didn’t want to be a problem for anyone. Wanted to fit in.”
Just like that, it all clicked for Alexia.
The feigned smiles, sometimes forced laughter, the troubled look on your face whenever you thought you were alone, all of it adds up. You had repressed parts of you so that things went as smooth sailing as possible, so that people didn’t think any differently of you or immediately feel drawn away like they often did. The biggest part of you, what makes you you, is the one thing you didn’t want people to see, out of nothing but complete and all-consuming fear. And Alexia would be damned if she let you go on like this.
“Can I take a seat next to you?” She said quietly, a hint of a smile on her face when you nodded again. She did exactly that; without making too much noise in the still room, she pulled up the chair next to you and sat down, her eyes raking up and down your face.
“If I told you that I don’t think any differently of you at all, would you believe me?” She began with. 
You just shrugged dismissively, not having moved a single muscle in the past few minutes apart from breathing and blinking. If you don’t move, if you don’t draw attention to yourself, perhaps this whole thing will disappear. A girl can dream.
“Because I don’t, cariño. I really don’t. You are not a problem for any of us at all. You face different struggles than us, but nobody thinks of you as anything less than a great player and an even better person. We are all glad you are here. I and others on the team will face different struggles than you, and I can bet you would never think any differently of us. Am I right?” 
Her words break through the defensive wall you’d put up to protect yourself from anything else around you. A common feature of the start of your meltdowns, except it’s quite possible that your captain had just stopped it from going any further.
Hesitantly, you sat up from your slouched position and wiped tiredly at your face.
“No, I would never.” You told her, slumping back against your chair and fiddling with the drawstring on your shorts.
“Exactly. You don’t need to worry about any of that at all, I promise. You are one of us now. A culer. We will take care of you.” She smiled brightly, you can hear it in her voice. So for the first time since you’d entered the room, you turned to look at her, only to find her eyes were filled with earnesty and kindness. And… perhaps for the first time since you’d arrived in Barcelona, you truly did feel like you belong here. Like you could make a life for yourself here, against all odds.
“Thanks.” You sniffled, feeling the remnants of your outburst fade away, only to leave overwhelming exhaustion in its wake.
“It’s okay. You can come to me anytime for anything. There will always be someone here for you to talk to, and I’ll be the first to fight for you if that’s ever necessary.” Now, you were actually smiling. A genuine one, too.
“I think Ingrid might beat you to it, actually.” You teased her, watching as she grins.
“You’re probably right.” She chuckled, before pausing. You already knew what she was about to say before she opened her mouth. Neurotypicals are just way too predictable. “How did you know Ingrid told me?”
“You can just tell when someone knows. They treat you differently.” Alexia frowned anxiously at that.
“I didn’t… did I treat you differently?” She questioned, along with a poor attempt at disguising the undertones of fear in her voice.
“You haven’t, not really, but… I don’t know, I can just tell instantly. It’s hard to explain. You haven’t treated me differently, but I could tell you knew compared to when you didn’t know. The look on your face too. But thank you for… just everything so far. You have helped a lot, so.” You shrugged. She smiled, a little in relief, but nodded nevertheless.
“You don’t need to thank me. Now, can I ask some more about what happened today? You said you forgot to eat?” 
“Yeah. It’s just because my routine was messed up, that’s all. Yesterday morning I ate before training because Ingrid had baked me some pastries, but today I had none left and then genuinely forgot. It happens sometimes, it’s just part of it.”
“Part of what?”
“Autism.” Duh.
“Oh. I did not know that.” Alexia stated simply. 
“Yeah, well, most people don’t.” You told her. Alexia nodded understandingly, a plan of action already formed in her mind.
“I’m sure you already know this, as an athlete, but it’s important for your safety that this doesn’t happen again. So I have a solution in mind that could help.” You hummed to tell her to continue. “I can ask either the catering staff here, or find a private chef, to start meal prepping for you. We can organise it on the club’s behalf so that you don’t have to pay anything. I will go with you, or for you if you’d like, to Jonatan and help sort it out for you. You can meet with a nutritionist to figure out what food you need and tell them what you do and don’t like, we can sort it all out for you. It wouldn’t be a problem.” 
Oh. You’d never thought about that before. 
“I guess that could work.” You decided after a few moments of consideration. 
That would actually be a really helpful solution. Certainly one less thing to worry about, and it could add a secure layer to your routine. An important one too.
“Would you be okay with that?” Alexia wondered, smiling when you nodded. “Good. Leave it to me, I will get it sorted for you.” 
She paused again, clearly hesitant about something. You raised an eyebrow at her, trying to coax it out of her with a look, but you couldn’t help the amused smile on your face at the sudden, faint blush that landed on her cheeks.
“What is it?” 
“Uh… there is no way to ask this without coming across as… very forward, to say the least.” She started, shaking her head at her own ridiculousness. “May I get your number? For captain’s reasons, of course.”
“Right.” You smirked, watching as she shakes her head, this time at your teasing, and grabs a pen from the stationary pot in the centre of the table. “And what shall I write it on?”
“Well… just use my hand, I guess.” She suggested, offering the back of her hand out for you. You grinned and gently took hold of it, jotting down your number for her. 
“There you go, Capi.” You smiled, clicking the pen and putting it back.
Not long after that, one of the staff members came in with the food Alexia and Mapi had organised for you. So, leaving your captain with a promise that you'll eat it the second you walked through your apartment door, you went home. It was a great meal, and if it'd be the catering staff at Barcelona that would do your meal prep, well, it'd be a great deal.
That night went just like the others; you relaxed for some time to decompress after training, until you eventually started feeling somewhat human again, and arose from bed to do one of any of your hobbies that you felt like doing that night. Reading, watching movies, drawing and painting, listening to music, or any others that pique your interest that night. 
On some occasions, you'll be so mentally exhausted from your day that none of them seem at all appealing, and it takes a lengthy period of time to feel yourself again. An hour, the rest of the evening, or sometimes even the whole week. After especially hard times, it could take weeks. Fortunately you hadn't been through such events in years, but the fear of falling into that hole ever again was always present in the back of your mind.
The thing about having this disorder is that some things never change. Most things never change. You learn to cope, you can heal from past experiences, but in the grand scheme of it all, things never change. Certain events, people, even words can still be triggers. No amount of therapy or coping mechanisms or whatever, can help. You were born this way, and you would die this way. 
You would live a life and still struggle with even the most mundane things. Washing dishes was a no-go, the sensory issues were way too intense for that one. A day without showering first thing in the morning was automatically a write off. Bad performances in matches could still lead to a meltdown on certain days. One wrong look from someone can send you spiralling.
Autism was a blessing and a curse. It made you who you are; you have no idea who you would be without it. Yet, at the same time, it could debilitate you to such extreme degrees that… at night, when you were alone under the disguise of darkness,  you can't help but wonder what you could have done with your life had you not been born with this burden.
And with the day you'd had already, well, the only way you'd learnt to get over these things were to move on from them. That's what you had to do. If you become too concentrated on them, analysed every detail that went wrong, thought about every opinion those who witnessed it could hold, you'd suffer for it more than you needed to.
You couldn't move on if others couldn't move on though.
Unknown: Did you get home safe?
There was most likely only one person it could be, but where's the fun in that?
You: Depends who I'm talking to…
Alexia: It's Alexia??
Too easy.
You: I knew it was you, dumbass. Yes I got home safe, thank you. Food was great too :)
Although, when a few minutes went by after that last text, the doubts came flooding in. Did you take it too far with her? It was a bit ballsy to say that, she's just checking in on you. Captain duties.
Then again, who was it calling you?
“Hello?” You frowned, and this was another instance where you're cursing yourself, because why was your heart racing and cheeks burning at one random phone call?
“Dumbass, huh?” Came a smug voice, and then your heart was racing for another, more light-hearted reason.
“Yeah, sorry about that… apparently I'm a bit of a keyboard warrior.” You blushed sheepishly, relieved beyond belief when the woman down the line laughed.
“Don't worry about it. You're feeling okay now, sí?” 
“Yes, fine. You know, I didn't plan for today to happen. It just did.” You mumbled, still embarrassed by it all.
“I know, no one blames you for it. I just wanted to check in with you.” 
“I'm good, thanks. I've only ever had that happen like once before, I guess training on an empty stomach isn't the greatest idea in the world.” You joked lightly, Alexia humming in agreement.
“How does it happen? You said your routine was messed up, how did that lead to you forgetting?”
“It's a long story.” You sighed, but Alexia doesn't care.
“I have a free evening.” She said simply. This woman.
“Well… every training session so far, Ingrid has met me in the morning at my apartment beforehand so we can travel in together. She normally checks in with me, asks how I'm feeling and if I've eaten and whatnot. But she was ill, which I obviously don't blame her for, by the way. So not having her with me these past two days has terrified me quite a bit. She's basically the thing that holds my whole morning routine together. I guess, because she wasn't there, everything just flew out the window.” You explained, but things still weren't quite adding up in Alexia’s mind.
“So how does that relate to you forgetting to eat? Do you not get hungry?”
“Not like normal people do. One of the things with autism is that… we're not really in tune with our bodies? Like, I don't often get hungry or thirsty, I have to force myself to remember to eat and drink. And when I don't, I only realise I haven't done either of the two when I start feeling ill, like today. But food and drink feel like a chore, which is another reason I forget too. It's different when it comes to football though, being an athlete has taught me to be in tune with my body in terms of injuries, but not for anything else. It's weird.” 
“Wow, I never knew that before. That's interesting.” She commented. She's got a lot to learn.
“I prefer… inconvenient.” You said with a shy smile, glad to hear Alexia chuckle at that.
Unexpectedly, for quite some time after that, the pair of you just… talked. A lot. Like, for an hour. About everything - from what pastries Ingrid baked you, to a few more facts about yourself and your ASD, and everything in between. 
It's unnervingly natural. Fun too, but also a little odd. Is she doing it out of pity, or..?
“I almost forgot the other reason I called you.” She said out of nowhere, the smile on her face audible once again. “We have our pre-season dinner this Friday, the whole team is going. You should come.”
A dinner? At a restaurant? Oh god.
“Oh, I… it sounds good, but I don’t know, I-”
“Hey, why not?” She questioned gently.
“Just, they’re not really my scene.”
In a split second, Alexia attempted to think back on all she knew about anxiety to combine it with the very little information she knew about autism, hoping the two overlapped somewhat. Luckily for her, they do.
“The club rents out the restaurant so it’ll just be the team and a few senior staff members. It shouldn’t be too loud. It’s more like a celebratory dinner before the season starts, so there's no partying or anything like that at all. I really hope you come, but I understand if not. There’s no pressure.”
Damn you, Alexia.
“Okay. Okay, I'll go.”
Normal order resumed for the rest of the week; Ingrid recovered from her short 48-hour bug and returned to training like she hadn't even had a day off. Her being back also meant your mind was a hell of a lot more at ease, even if Alexia had offered to see you every morning. 
There was one other thing you were blessed with: obliviousness. Because, during the car ride to training the day after your phone call with the captain, the smirk that Mapi greeted you with in the rearview mirror after you tell her what happened once she headed home, is definitely not confusing at all. Definitely not.
That smirk made a comeback far sooner than you'd like. 
“Say that again?” Mapi asked with a squint to her eyes, forcing down the laughter she so desperately wants to let out.
“Alexia is driving me to the team dinner.” You repeated the sentence you'd just said for her, looking to Ingrid for help. “Ingrid, tell her to behave please.”
“María, come on. Alexia is just doing her a favour, you know she's not a fan of driving.” Ingrid said whilst nudging her girlfriend, though secretly she's hiding some intense excitement levels under her very good poker-face.
“Exactly! Screw you, Mapi.” You sighed dramatically, turning back to the mirror as you put your earrings in.
“So you're sure you don't need us to drive you there?” Mapi asked suspiciously, and there was that stupid smirk again. 
“Ugh, yes! I am making friends, you should be happy!” You groaned, fixing the shorter defender with a dagger-like glare in the reflection.
“More than fr-”
“Okay! Are you ready, snuppa? When is Alexia coming?” Ingrid interjected, discreetly stomping on her girlfriend's foot.
“She's on her way, she'll be here any minute now.” You answered after checking your phone. “You know, I can't rely on you guys forever like you're my parents or something. I love you, but I don't love you that much. And I'm sure you feel the same.”
“No!” Ingrid cried out in a way that's entirely too theatrical. She came over to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “I do love you that much, it's María you need to worry about.”
“I do worry about her sometimes. You should too, Ingrid.” You murmured, Ingrid humming in agreement as you watched her Spanish counterpart… busy herself in your fridge?
“María, out of there! We are literally going for dinner right now!”
“Ingrid, princesa, you need to work on your English- we're not at dinner ‘right now’, that is why I am in the fridge.” 
“Guys! Alexia is here, let's go. I'll see you at the restaurant.” You kissed Ingrid’s cheek and flicked Mapi’s forehead as you ushered them out the door, locking it behind you and making your way down to the ground floor.
Alexia was there, waiting for you whilst leaning against her car, and a smile tugged at her lips the second she saw you. You heard some commotion behind you, most likely Mapi being scolded by Ingrid, but you shut it out as you headed over to the midfielder, fighting back a ridiculously cheesy grin.
She greeted you the same way she did on the first day she met you - enveloping you in a warm hug that really shouldn’t be as comforting as it was. Not a big deal. Regardless, you both clambered into the car and made your way to the restaurant.
Thankfully, the evening went surprisingly well. It was a very low-key evening, just like Alexia said. In fact, you might even go as far as to say you enjoyed it, that’s a welcome revelation. And it seems you weren’t the only one that had discovered something new.
“Can I ask you something?” Alexia said on the drive back to your apartment.
“Sounds like there’s no stopping you.” You replied, smiling when she teasingly rolled her eyes.
“At dinner, when Patri asked why you don’t drink, you said ‘long story short, I don’t like it’ so I was just wondering what you meant by that?” Alexia asked, before almost immediately regretting it. “I mean, you don’t have to answer, it’s your business, but… if there’s anything we should be mindful about, then let me know.”
Who needed alcohol when you had a tendency to lose your inhibitions whenever you got too exhausted?
“No, not really any problems. I don’t have any issues with people drinking around me, I just have a bit of a history with it but it’s nothing big. It’s fine.” You shrugged, trying to keep your eyes open as the streets of Barcelona passed by your window. 
“What… what happened?” Alexia pressed gently.
“Well, when I was about seventeen, I started going through a really hard time. I had just dropped out of school, I’d had some trouble with friends, I was basically struggling quite badly. I started partying and drinking a lot, way more than I should have. Then I began to rely on it too much, just to get me through really basic stuff. It made me feel normal, it got rid of the voice in my head and it made me feel like a functioning person of society because it was what everybody else did. One day I decided it was best that I don’t drink at all, and it’s easier to tell people I don’t like it but actually I’m just scared of drinking because of all it reminds me of. So, I avoid it.” You explained, rather nonchalantly. 
The mental exhaustion was hitting hard that night, it was evident in the way you spoke. There was one explanation; dissociation. Dinners were not your favourite things in the world, they were a challenge to get through even when you were in the best company. Small talk, food, the sound of people eating, the scrapes of cutlery against ceramic, and the attention on some occasions being entirely on you? Yeah, a big no go. Which is why you were so tired, so distant, because your mind was in protection mode to keep you running until you got home.
Talking about your past was difficult, you’d come a long way and it felt counter-intuitive to talk about the bad times when you’d worked so hard to come to a good place. Yet, here you were, baring your soul about a topic you normally kept to yourself. You don’t even feel at least a little bit anxious at the fact you’d just spilled that secret. Alexia takes all the concern you normally feel and keeps it for herself.
“I’m sorry you went through that, cariño. Thank you for telling me.” She smiled sadly over at you, an ache growing in her heart at your defeated demeanour where you sit in her passenger seat. “Are you feeling okay? You don’t seem like yourself.”
“Tired. So tired.” You sighed. Even just talking felt like a chore in that moment. “Wanna get home, s’all.”
“Okay, we’re almost there now.” She said, “I’m proud of you for coming today. I know you weren’t a fan of the idea initially but you came, and everybody was so glad that you did. I am really proud of you, and so are Ingrid and Mapi too.”
The woman to your left surprised you everyday with each act of kindness she was showing. She hardly knew you, she hardly knew of your struggles, but she was adamant to learn and show just how deeply she cared. You were beyond grateful for her and all she’d said and done, even if you couldn’t verbalise that just yet.
All you could do was offer a simple nod, almost entirely mute as a result of how utterly overstimulating the day had been. You had loved it, sure, but sometimes when days like today left you in such a dejected state that you could hardly talk, there were still times if you wondered if fighting for a somewhat normal life was worth it. 
From then on, the rest of the drive home was silent. Alexia dropped you off, made sure you knew to contact her or Ingrid or whoever you felt comfortable speaking to should you need them, and that was that. You got inside, were barely able to get yourself changed, before passing out as soon as you got into bed.
A few weeks went by and it was more of the same. After that dinner, the team really clamped down and focused on getting everybody ready for the start of the new season. Training at Barcelona was different to anything you’d ever experienced before; it was intense, but light-hearted. There was competition, but it was healthy, everybody egged each other on even if they wanted to win. Ingrid was right, you had never found training this enjoyable before. You had to put that down to the people though, if it wasn’t for them then you’d never feel as comfortable as you do now. 
There were blips, there were still obstacles, but apart from that time you fell ill after training , there hadn’t really been any meltdown-inducing moments. Just a lot of burn-out and exhaustion, but you were near enough a pro at dealing with that now. 
The environment was… perfect for you. And one factor of that outcome is definitely down to the help of the famous three you had near enough attached yourself to since your arrival.
But the main factor to how well you had settled in was down to you. At some point along the way, not that the exact date mattered or anything (at exactly 12:02 on Monday the 26th of August), you hit a milestone that you had never managed to reach before. 
It was unplanned, but once the initial shock had worn off and the anxiety left, you teared up in the arms of Ingrid at the pride you felt towards yourself. Then Mapi joined in with the hug, and so did Alexia, then… so did the whole team too. 
For the first time, you were honest with your team. For the first time, you told them that you had autism. And for the first time, you weren’t suffocated by that prospect. When they all came together to hug you, it wasn’t just a physical embrace, it was them fully accepting you even with this burden you held and championed every day of your life. Though, with the support of others, it was hard to think of it as a burden. The gravity of a secret this big had weighed you down for years, but… now, your chest had never felt so light.
They supported you when you arrived, but the extremes this Spanish team took didn’t quite register until the week before the first game of the Liga F season. Fortunately for you, the first game of the season was at your new home of football, the Estadi Johan Cruyff. So, to help settle the rising nerves you were feeling as game day got closer, the club had organised a training session for you at the stadium a few days before. The more familiar you were with your surroundings, the less you had to worry about on the day. And, as everybody knew, the only thing you needed to worry about for your debut would be how well you did on the pitch.
What you didn’t know though, was that every member of your team was waiting in the stands for you to walk out. And the second the sound of boots hitting the floor echoed from the tunnel through the empty stadium, Mapi was up on her feet to cheer and encouraged her teammates to do the same. The only person that hesitated was Ingrid, but when she saw the look on your face as your te- your friends outwardly rallied behind you so openly and so freely, she became the loudest one of them all. That was the perfect way to prepare for game day, you really couldn’t have asked for a better group of people to work with everyday.
Were you jittery and wracked with nerves as you waited on the sidelines to be substituted in at the 70 minute mark? Yes, but the second you took your first step on the grass with the crowd’s applause as your welcome, you fixated on the game and everything else was just background noise. 
From a young age, before you had even heard of the word autism, football had very obviously been your special interest, otherwise known as the one random topic out of everything in the world to take over your life. 
You would spend hours in your backyard, kicking a ball against the side of your house, driving your family crazy. The walls of your bedroom were covered, corner to corner, in posters ranging from your favourite players, to clubs from all over the world. Christmases and birthdays as a kid were, to you, all about what from your presents you could add to your collection. Kits, boots, scarves, match-day programmes, magazines, even trading cards. Back at your childhood home in Norway, all these things were stored away in the attic, still items you cherished. 
As you got older and life got a bit more difficult, football became your escape. School was exhausting, people were exhausting, but football was something you could do on your own. No one bothering you, no one expecting anything from you, it was a time you could forget the world and all its misdemeanours, and just relax. And honestly, that’s all you planned for it to be. It was hard to imagine it being anything else than just a hobby.
All it took was one game to change the whole trajectory of your life. A game of girls against boys at your school at the age of only eleven, and the next day your sports teacher had gotten you a trial at the local academy. You passed it with flying colours, and flourished in the sport from there.
…Until one random day when you were fourteen, your mother sat you down for a conversation you never could have expected. But once you'd had time to dwell on her words, everything made sense. 
You had autism spectrum disorder. 
It wasn’t made official until the assessment process was over and you received your diagnosis, but that was the day it felt like your life had been irreversibly changed. Your view of the world changed with one conversation, and it was as if everything you thought you knew was wiped completely. Like you had been thrown into the ocean with no one and nothing around to help. 
All the tantrums, the bad behaviour at home compared to being a model student at school, the fussy eating habits, and the endless list of out-of-the-norm habits you had - it added up to this one, new label. The tantrums became meltdowns, the reasoning behind your behavioural differences were from spending the whole day surrounded by people and masking to fit in which led to you being so overwhelmed and overstimulated, your mind went into overdrive and didn’t know what to do. The fussy eating turned out to be sensory issues, with the textures and tastes of certain foods making you physically ill.
There was so much to learn that some days it felt like too big a challenge to tackle. Then there would be the days where you were up all night, the light of your family laptop kept hidden under the blanket you draped over yourself, as you researched this life-changing disorder until the sun rose.
It’s funny, really, how quickly your life can change with just three words.
For years, you had been defeated by it, succumbing to the assumptions that you could never amount to anything more than the label forced upon you, but look at you now. Providing a world class through ball to the most recent Ballon D’Or recipient to tie off a 3-0 win in the first game of the season.
You had learnt at some point in the last twelve years that the only choice you had was to live with it. Make the most of it. This was your one life, you had to make it work. You were adamant to thrive for the others that couldn’t, for the 1 in 13 women that didn’t believe they were strong enough to fight back, and to prove to the world that this disorder didn't hold you back.
They wouldn’t know that your mind could be your own worst enemy, or the self-deprecating thoughts you could have whilst your face gave away no hints, or that sometimes you didn’t believe in yourself and the anxiety was so intense that you could be stuck in bed for days, even weeks, at a time. All they saw right now was your team, FC Barcelona, rushing over to celebrate you rather than the goal scorer because they knew what it meant to you. The world would only ever see your victories, because they had no business to strike you when you were already down. You were strong, you were worth it, and most importantly, you had done it. You’d made it to the exact point you dreamed of. That’s all that mattered.
Unfortunately, it only takes one bad thing to set you down an unwanted path.
Part 2
705 notes · View notes
lowkeyhollland · 1 month
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best of both worlds
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peter park x stark!reader 4.2k words mix it all together & you know you get the best of both worlds
“I just don’t understand why I can’t know who Spider-Man is,” you grabbed yesterday’s unfinished iced coffee from the fridge and closed it. “I know everyone else’s identity, Dad. Why not this one? 
“Y/n, I love you, but–” Your dad started but was rudely interrupted. 
“You’re a yapper!” Sam yelled from across the kitchen and Bucky started laughing with him as you shot them a glare. 
“Okay, who taught them that?” You crossed your arms as the two kept laughing.
“I’m sorry, princess. But it’s true,” your dad laughed with them while you rolled my eyes. He messed with your hair and kissed the top of your head. “You can’t keep a secret to yourself.”
“You told the whole world you’re Iron Man,” You rebutted, and ‘oohs’ erupted from the small crowd. “Plus, the only person I tell is Peter.”
“What about when you told Ned you were going with us to Germany,” Bucky said.
“I had to tell my teachers I would be gone and he was curious,” You shrugged and took a sip from your coffee. 
“Hi, Mr. Stark.” Just then, the man of the hour, Spider-Man swung into the kitchen. Well, he walked into the kitchen. “I might be gone–” he stopped mid-sentence when he saw you. “Y/n! Hi!”
“Hello, Spider-Man,” You narrowed your eyes at him and he spun his head around. 
“Did I do something?” His voice squeaked and you narrowed my eyes even more. 
“She’s just upset that we won’t tell her your identity,” Tony informed him. 
“If I just keep guessing who you are, will you tell me if I’m right?” You batted your eyelashes at the masked hero as you put on the sweetest smile. You could tell he was smirking as he let out a soft chuckle while shaking his head.
“I doubt you’ll guess correctly, sweetheart.” He crossed his arms and Tony’s flickered between the two of you, a faint smirk forming on his lips. A small blush crept onto your cheeks at the nickname. 
“All I’m saying is everyone in the Hannah Montana universe was stupid because they couldn’t put two and two together,” you mumbled as you grabbed a granola bar from the pantry.
“But how were they stupid if they never heard Miley sing? They had nothing to compare her to.” Spider-Man started the counter-argument and you raised your eyebrows, turning to face him and straightening out your back. 
“At every concert, the artist speaks to the audience. How did they not notice that Miley and Hannah sounded the same when speaking? Or even her mannerisms.” You eyed Spider-man cautiously as he grabbed an apple. 
“Alright, one of you can’t be in here if you are going to remove your mask.” Your dad pointed to the both of you and you rolled my eyes.
“It’s fine, I’m leaving for school anyway.” You slung your backpack on and grabbed your car keys. “Bye Dad, love you. Bye, guys! See you later.” 
“Wait, are you picking up Parker?” Your dad yelled and your eyes widened. 
“Shit! I’m late!” You yelled and ran out the door to the car. 
“Drive safe!” You heard your dad’s voice in the distance while seeing a flash of red leaving the tower. Interesting. 
– – –
You frantically knocked on Peter’s apartment door. It swung open and Peter smiled and was breathing heavily. “Hi,” he sighed and smiled. 
“Hi,” You smiled back at him. “You ready?”
“Yeah! Let’s go.” He walked out and locked the door and the two of you hurried to your car. 
You were speeding down the road, not trying to be late for the second day. “Y/n/n! Slow down!” Peter grabbed the car handle and sat straight back in his seat. 
“Oh please, I’m only ten over. I cannot be late again. Mrs. Smith threatened to give me a week’s worth of detention if I was late to her class… again. ” You stopped at the red light and took a sip from your coffee and Peter scoffed. 
“As if they’d ever give Tony Stark’s daughter detention.”
“You’d be surprised,” you said under your breath. “Hey, weird question.”
“What’s up?” Peter looked over giving you, his chocolate brown eyes full of wonder and ready to tackle whatever question you had to say. 
“Did you watch Hannah Montana as a kid?” And just like that, all the wonder was drained from his eyes and his mouth formed a line. 
He knew he had to be careful of what he would say in this conversation in case it reminded you of Spider-Man this morning. It wasn’t that Peter didn’t trust you. No, not at all, he trusted you with his entire life. You were his best friend, but Tony had advised him to keep his secret identity to a limited number of people in case it spread like wildfire. 
“Not really, why?” 
“Nothing, I just got into an argument with Spider-Man today.” You grumbled, looking in your blindspot to switch lanes, seeing Midtown was coming up on the left. 
“It won’t ever shock me how easily you can just casually mention superheroes.” Peter took your coffee and took a sip from it. His face scrunched up and he immediately gagged. “How much sugar did you put in this?!”
“It’s from Dunkin’! You know I always get three packs of sugar with my Dunkin’ coffee.” Peter shook his head as he handed it back to you before you both got out of the car. 
“And every time, I forget how disgustingly sugary your Dunkin’ order is.”
“It's not my fault you like your coffee black. You know, you have to be some psychopath to like straight-up black coffee.” 
“Sorry, you have the palette of a five-year-old.” You gasped at the comment and lightly pushed Peter away as you walked through the school doors.
“Whatever, I’ll see you later.” You playfully rolled your eyes with a small smile on your face before walking away to your first period. 
“See you!” Peter exclaimed, a smile forming on his face as he admired you from afar.
– – –
“I was team Jake because I had a thing for blondes, but then when he cheated on Miley, I was so heartbroken my dad had to watch me to make sure I didn’t throw up from crying so hard.” Ned and Peter listened to you intently as you rambled on about your favorite childhood show. MJ would look up from her book now and then to nod at you to show she was listening. 
“How were you not team Jesse right away? I mean, even I was head over heels for him,” Ned argued with you about the teen heartthrobs. 
“I don’t know, Jake was so charming to six-year-old me. I just couldn’t not fall in love with him. He was always so smooth with everything.”
“So, the opposite of Peter?” MJ raised an eyebrow and smirked while you let out a giggle. 
“Exactly.” You agreed with her while Peter’s mouth hung open. 
“Okay well, Miley didn’t even have to tell Jesse she was Hannah. He figured it out himself because he was so in love with her while Miley had to put the wig on in front of Jake.” Peter smugly said. You stared at him as he proudly smiled at himself.
“I thought you didn’t watch the show,” you mumbled and Peter’s cheeks flushed pink. 
“I mean, not really, but– okay fine,” Peter sighed knowing you had caught him in a lie. “I was the biggest Hannah Montana fan out there. I used to perform just like her in our living room.” The whole table burst into laughter and his entire face went red.
“Please tell me May has videos!” You said in between laughs and you heard your best friend grumble something. 
“Is that why there were purple Hannah Montana sheets in your linen closet?” Ned asked, wiping away tears. 
“It’s okay, Pete. My go-to karaoke song is ‘Best of Both Worlds.’” You smiled in an attempt to make him feel better. He gave you a tight lip smile, knowing no one would let him forget about this. “But, back to this Jake and Jesse discourse,” you circled the conversation back on track. “Would you say Jesse only found out because he was so insanely in love with her?” You watched as Peter thought about the question for a while. You couldn’t help but smile as you admired the way his brown curls fell on his head perfectly or how he bit his lower lip a little as he concentrated. 
“Yes, I believe so.” And that was all the information you needed. 
– – –
Peter walked into the living room of the compound, following the echoes of your laughter. He furrowed his eyebrows together when he saw you throwing a laughing fit over something on your phone. 
“Are you… okay?” Peter cautiously asked. You motioned for him to sit next to you on the couch, still laughing. 
“Look– look at what May sent me,” you managed to get out. Peter looked at your phone and saw a video of six-year-old him singing ‘I Got Nerve’ into a remote, dancing around the living room like he was a pop star. 
“Oh my god,” he mumbled under his breath, horrified. He quickly grabbed your phone away and held it up as you protested against it. 
“No! Peter give it back!” You exclaimed climbing over him to take back your phone. 
“Nu-uh!” A playful smile formed on his lips when he switched which hand held the phone. You were both laughing and messing around until you lost your balance and he caught you under his arm, pulling you close to him so you wouldn’t fall off the couch. Your faces were inches apart and you were praying your face wasn’t as red as it felt. 
“Hi,” you whispered to him, staring into his big brown eyes.
“Hi,” he mumbled back, his eyes flickering down to your lips. His action didn’t go as unnoticed as he had hoped when you smirked back at him. It wasn’t uncommon for you two to be so close to each other, but the position you were in was definitely different than most times. You know, being quite literally on top of him and everything. 
“Can I have my phone back, please?” You batted your eyelashes at him. Peter gulped and nodded, not trusting anything that might come out of his mouth. You slowly got off on top of him and sat at the end of the couch and Peter tossed you your phone as you threw your legs over his lap. 
“Now delete the video,” Peter demanded. You were taken aback by his tone and couldn’t help but laugh. 
“I top him once and I don’t even get a thank you,” you jokingly said and he rolled his eyes. 
“Y/n, seriously.”
“Fine,” you grumbled and deleted the video against your will. 
“Thank you, sweetheart.” He smiled at you but the nickname took you by surprise. You furrowed your eyebrows together and looked at your best friend.
“Wait, why are you even here? I didn’t invite you over.” You realize Peter just appeared out of nowhere. 
“She tops me once and thinks she’s in control of me,” he jokes around and you lightly kick his leg. 
“You fucking wish, Parker.” You laughed at how red his face had turned while his eyes widened. 
“I- uh, I have that internship with your dad, remember?” He answered your question, ignoring the comment you made. You silently mouthed an ‘oh,’ completely forgetting about the internship.
“What do you even do for the internship? I’ve never seen you here doing anything else but hanging out with me.” You eyed your best friend suspiciously as he squirmed around avoiding your eye contact.
“I– uh, you know, I do… stuff.” He scratched the back of his neck, his eyebrows furrowing together once more. 
“What kind of… stuff?” You raised an eyebrow at him and could’ve sworn you heard him gulp. 
“I… repair their suits! Yeah, I do that,” Peter said almost like he was trying to convince himself. 
“So why are you here today? No one has been on a mission in like a month.” Your suspicions were rapidly going up by the minute. Why would your best friend lie about what he does for your dad? Unless… No, that's crazy, you thought. 
“I was upgrading Spider-Man’s suit,” Peter’s face fell. Shit. Alarms were going off in his head, hoping you wouldn’t catch onto anything. But another part of him was hoping you would. He thought maybe he should just come clean. Right here, right now. He watched as you eyed him up and down, biting your lower lip. 
“Fun.” He sat there shocked. Fun? That was all you had to say? 
“Yeah, super fun.” He let out a sigh as he sat further back on the couch. You looked at him curiously, opening and closing your mouth like you had something to say. He looked at you, questioning your movements, but you just shook your head. “I should… probably get back to your dad.” He lifted your legs off his lap and you just nodded. 
“Yeah, don’t want to upset Tony Stark,” you scoffed and he smiled. 
“Maybe tomorrow after I’m done, we can watch a movie?” Peter suggested, but you had other plans. 
“Tomorrow’s Bachelor night,” you smirked and you could have sworn you saw Peter’s face light up.
“Oh, I don’t want to miss the girls fighting. Save me a seat next to you,” he winked and you felt your cheeks start to blush. “I’ll see you later.” Peter messed with your hair and kissed the top of it. You sat there in shock while he walked away, eyes wide and face red once he realized what he had done. 
– – –
“Mr. Stark, I don’t think I can keep it a secret from her any longer.” Peter stood next to his mentor as they worked on his suit together, the memory of him kissing your head replaying over and over again. Tony sighed and looked at Peter.
“If you want to tell her, kid, you can. No one’s stopping you.” He tilted his head to the side as he sighed again. His answer took Peter aback. 
“But you told me I shouldn’t tell her.” His mouth hung open, still shocked at Tony’s response. 
“I only said that in hopes of keeping my daughter safe.”
“But she’s constantly surrounded by other superheroes. And, no offense, but she’s your daughter.” Peter bluntly said and Tony let out a dry chuckle. 
“I know.”
“So, why did you tell me to keep it from her in the first place?” Peter looked around confused. 
“Because she’s already surrounded by enough heroes as it is.” Tony made it seem like it made total sense, but Peter just stood there stunned. 
“So?” He felt bad giving his mentor attitude, but he was so confused and lost at what to do and the responses he was receiving. 
“So,” Tony exaggerated. “If she’s seen with Spider-Man, she can, you know, attract danger.” 
“But she’s already seen with– I’m so confused, Mr. Stark.” Peter’s eyes pleaded for a clear response and Tony groaned. 
“Again, if she’s seen with Spider-Man, she can get hurt. I just want my precious daughter to be safe, is that too much to ask for?”
“But she’s always seen with you guys. I don’t understand.” Peter was so confused he thought his head was going to explode for feeling so dumb. 
“If she is seen with Spider-Man–” Tony tried to emphasize. 
“Yes, I get it, but–”
“Oh my God, do I have to spell it out for you? Kid, we all know you’ve been in love with Y/n ever since you met the girl!” Peter stood there dumbfounded. 
“What? I– no I am not– I mean no offense, but–” Peter’s words were all jumbled together as his cheeks flushed pink. 
“What’s Parker rambling on about now?” Steve asked as he walked through the doors of the lab. 
“Trying to convince me he’s not in love with my daughter,” Tony bluntly said, turning back to work on the suit. Steve burst into laughter and Peter’s face fell. 
“Oh, Parker, anyone can see that you’re head over heels for her from miles away.” Peter’s entire face had turned red from embarrassment. 
“Okay, so maybe I am—“
“And you are,” Tony mumbled. Peter shot him a look before continuing. 
“Why does that have to interfere with me being Spider-Man? She’s my best friend, I’m tired of lying to her all the time when she’s already a part of this sort of lifestyle!” Peter threw his hands up in frustration. 
“It’s up to you, Parker. But if Spider-Man is seen with any sort of love interest, criminals can take advantage of that. And it’s your responsibility to make sure my daughter gets home safe.” Tony pointed his finger into Peter’s chest. The kid gulped and nodded before returning their attention to his suit. 
— — —
“I’m home!” You yelled through the compound. Walking into the kitchen, you saw a familiar red suit rummaging through the fridge. “Hello, Spider-Man.” You announced. He whipped his head around, causing him to almost hit it on the door. 
“H-Hey, Y/n!” He scratched the back of his neck and you eyed him suspiciously. “What’s up?”
“Nothing much. It’s Bachelor night, are you gonna watch with us?” You swirled your iced coffee in your hand before taking a sip. 
“Yeah!” Spider-Man responded. “I mean, uh, well. I will be watching it just not… here.” Peter looked around nervously under the mask, debating if he should just tell you his secret right now. But Tony’s words rang in his head about the danger it could put you in. He watched as you used the straw to mix your coffee even more and nodded to his words. 
“You should watch with us,” you suggested. “You can finally meet my best friend, Peter.” 
Peter almost collapsed when you suggested that his alter ego should stay for ‘family night.’ You had never hung out with Spider-Man that often, always running around to see other people outside of the compound. The fact that you were inviting him was almost out of character. 
“Only if I get to sit next to you, pretty girl,” Peter smirked under the mask getting caught up in the moment, watching you almost spit out your coffee. 
“Woah there, Spidey. You’re getting bold over there.”
“Can’t help myself when you’re probably the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen.” You couldn’t help but smile because you assumed who might be under the mask. Getting up from your seat, you walked over to the masked hero and wrapped your arms around his neck. 
“Maybe I can say the same about you if you just, I don’t know, take this little thing off.” You wrapped your fingers around the edge of the mask and could feel his heartbeat going crazy. Peter gulped as you continued to mess with the mask. It was harmless flirting, right? If he told you he was Spider-Man, it wouldn’t put you in too much danger because you two were just… friends. Right? 
“Is that coffee good?” Peter tried to change the topic, now feeling very strange watching you flirt with his alter ego instead of his true self. You removed your arms from him and grabbed your coffee, handing it to him. 
“Do you wanna try it? It’s good. Trust.” You reassured him. He grabbed the coffee from your hands and lifted his mask just right under his nose. 
As he swirled the straw around to mix the coffee around more, you couldn’t help but notice Spider-Man’s thin lips. How familiar they looked. He brought the straw up to his mouth and took a sip but immediately gagged. 
“Is this from Dunkin’?” He asked and you smirked. That was all the information you needed. 
— — — 
You knocked on Peter’s door. He had texted you earlier, saying he had something important to tell you and it couldn’t be over text or call. You had a feeling that he was finally going to tell you his secret. Peter swung the door open and smiled, cheeks turning pink. 
“Hi,” he breathlessly said. You weren’t quite sure why he was out of breath, but you just assumed it was nerves. 
“Hi,” you responded back. He let you into his apartment and you followed him to his room. You took in his room, smiling at his dorky Star Wars posters. Walking over to his desk, you noticed a picture of you and him. It was blurry and you were both laughing, your arms wrapped around his neck while his arms were around your waist. “This is new,” you told him, picking the picture up. 
“Oh! Yeah,” Peter’s face turned red but he walked up behind you to look at the picture, placing a hand loosely over your hip. “MJ took that picture from a few weeks ago. It’s my favorite.” He smiled down at you, taking in your features as you continued to stare at the frame. 
“It’s cute,” you turned around, your breath hitched seeing his face just inches from yours. Your eyes flickered down to his lips, those lips, and it reminded you of why you were here. You set the picture back down and walked away from Peter, already missing the warmth he brought you. Sitting down on his bed, you brought your legs up and he sat down next to you.
“So, I did have something to tell you,” his voice trailed off toward the end and you gave him your undivided attention. “God, this is sorta hard to say.” His hands messed with the end of his covers, shuffling something.
“You’re Spider-Man!” You blurted out. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped as you smacked your hand over your mouth, not expecting to say it so bluntly. 
“How did you–” 
“Peter, I’m not stupid. You don’t have to recreate the scene where Miley is holding up the Hannah wig to Jesse with your Spider-Man mask,” you gestured your hand to his that was still under the covers. He slowly lifted his hand to reveal the mask from the bed.
“Well, yes I am Spider-Man.” You smiled to yourself, proud that you figured it out by yourself. “But,”
“But?!” You interrupted him. He let out a dry chuckle and shook his head.
“But,” he continued. “That isn’t why I invited you over. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am so insanely happy you figured out this secret and I feel a weight lifted off my chest. You’re my best friend and–”
“Peter.”
“Yes?”
“You’re rambling.”
“Oh, right, sorry.” He sheepishly smiled and looked at you. How your hair fell perfectly over your shoulder as you ran your hands through it, an anxious tic Peter found you do often. 
“I wanted to tell you that…” he spoke slowly as you hung onto every word that came out of his mouth, your heart about to explode from your chest. “I am in love with you.”
The room was silent. You could hear a pin drop. You stared at Peter in disbelief, your brain running a thousand miles an hour. 
“Y/n, please say something,” his voice was low, barely coming out as a whisper. 
“I…” you started, “I’m in love with you too.” His face broke out into the biggest smile you have ever seen and you mimicked him.
“Really?” 
“I mean, you said it yourself. Jesse was so in love with Miley that he knew he was Hannah before she even told him,” you smirked as Peter rolled his eyes. 
“Only you would bring up Hannah Montana in the middle of a moment like this,” his hand cupped the side of your face and you smiled sheepishly. 
“Only with you,” you closed the gap between the two of you. When you kissed, it truly was like fireworks were going off behind you. You smiled into the kiss, but the fireworks seemed to be getting louder– wait what?! “Do you hear that?” You pulled away from Peter, his eyes half closed. 
“Mm, no,” he leaned in again to kiss you, but you pushed him away. 
“Peter, my dad is blasting someone a few blocks away.” You saw out his window and he immediately jumped up. 
“I’m so sorry to leave right now but–”
“Go get ‘em, Spidey.” You winked at him and he smiled. He put on his mask and took off his hoodie to reveal the suit.
“Will you be here when I get back?” He asked, his eyes pleading for an answer. 
“Is Hannah Montana one of the best Disney Channel shows?” Peter rolled his eyes. 
“On second thought, you can go home,” he was about to climb out the window before you pulled him back. 
“Yes, I will be here. You,” you poked his chest, “be safe.” You lifted his mask and kissed him one more time and Peter melted into the kiss. 
“I could get used to this,” he mumbled against your lips, but you pulled away making him frown. 
“Peter.” You said sternly. 
“Yes, sweetheart?” “Go help my dad, idiot."
“On it!” And with that, Peter swung away. This really was the life and he just had to hold on tight. 
431 notes · View notes
phas3d · 2 months
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Fake Dating | Slytherin Boys
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type :: fluff
tw/cw :: none
contains :: draco, tom, mattheo, theodore, lorenzo
notes :: fake dating is the FUEL TO MY LIFE AHHH slightly inspired by "please please please" by Sabrina Carpenter because ofc it is
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DRACO MALFOY
He's bullied you for ages, literally making your high school years hell
But after his father and mother pressure him with questions about a girlfriend
He gets sick of it and wants to shut up for ONE NIGHT just one fucking night
So he gets you to pretend to be his partner, because you're the only girl willing to say yes (because ur scared of him)
Corners you and threatens you, "If you don't give me an Oscar worthy performance I will literally burn all of your uniforms and books"
Now you're at his house, eating expensive steak under 3 chandeliers
No one knows why he has 3 chandeliers,,, not even his parents
But instantly, his parents love you for your nerdiness and cuteness
They see you as a sweet and innocent little partner for Draco :)
But uh oh... you were TOO perfect for his parents
Now Draco is asking you to go with his parents to Germany for a "little trip"
Except their idea of a "little trip" is a week vacation in the most expensive hotel and meeting German celebrities
You can't speak German, but Draco can so he helps answer any questions asked towards you
But for some reason, he gets super agitated as you keep attending parties and people keep coming up to you
He gets so mad on the second-to-last-day of the week vacation to the point he grabs some random guys collar and shouts at him
You pull try to pull them apart but it's too late...
Draco gets his ass whooped... Badly... Embarrassingly bad...
You leave the party early, going back to the hotel alone as you patch his wounds
That's when you ask why he was so upset
But he refuses to answer, saying it's just that the guy was annoying
It's obvious that he's lying, so you keep pushing him and pushing him
So he angrily blurts out: "Because people keep fucking asking for your number!!! GOD!!! You're so dense!"
He says as he lightly flicks your forehead before staring deeply into your eyes: conveying everything he's been feeling for you for these past weeks of "fake dating"
TOM RIDDLE
Mattheo is Tom's worse enemy, despite being brothers
Yet again, Mattheo teases and mocks Tom for being a loser with zero "rizz" or whatever that means
He's sick of Mattheo's stupid ass slang, everyday he hears "you're a beta" "ur aura is so low" "zero rizz bruh"
He's literally going to kill him
But sadly he can't do that, so he comes up with a different solution
He chooses you, a random kid he did a project with once, to pretend to be his new partner
You were hesitant but he then threw in an extra bonus, he would do all your homework for two classes of your choice
So obviously you had to take it
He had to prepare you for the worse: Mattheo
Tom forced you to visit his dorm to study how to reply to Mattheo when you finally meet him
He also made you study how to act like a couple in public
Which he knew nothing about... He was technically right about hand holding and matching clothes
But his version of hand holding was very uncomfortable, the type where you don't interlock fingers
And the clothes he picked were ugly as hell, no way you'd ever wear that stuff
So you had to help him a lot with learning how to act natural in relationships
When he feels that you're finally prepared, he lets you meet Mattheo
Mattheo is super sus at first but is too dumb to question harshly
But now, you're stuck as pretending to be Tom's girlfriend for the rest of the year
He's painfully unaffectionate in public which makes you slightly embarrassed because he makes you look like a clingy girlfriend
But in private, when he's teaching you what to say and doing your homework: he's surprisingly sweet
He gets better at being a boyfriend over time and even takes you on full dates, not just fake photoshoots to post online
But he's still insisting to keep this relationship as just beneficial, no string attached
You can't help but start to fall for him, it's literally impossible to not
He gifts you everything you've ever wanted, takes you to fancy places, making him chuckle under his breathe feels more rewarding than any A+ ever, and those small private moments where you can feel a soul behind his eyes instead of the ice cold make you love him
So you cut it off with him, lying and saying you don't need the benefits and it's too hard to keep lying
He accepts this and lets you go
You end up being really popular once you're single
And that pisses him off ENDLESSLY
He found you first! He basically made you! You're still his, he can't let someone take all his hard work
And for some reason,,, he felt hollow after you left - as if he lost something dear to him
He's not sure how you brought out these emotions, but he wants it back ASAP
MATTHEO RIDDLE
Oh my god double trope: because Mattheo started dating you because he was dared to
You're seen as a kinda bitch in Hogwarts because a group of girls said so
But in reality, you're really chill and grounded, which surprised Mattheo when he went on your first date
You made him laugh a few times (a lot, he's too cocky to admit it)
And you also were really similar to Mattheo, you liked the same games and shows
As he kept pretending to date you, he started to actually like you and your presence
But he's still not too attached because he knows he needs to break up with you in about 2 months
As the weeks pass by, you accidentally read a message for Mattheo
It was from Theo, saying "Jesus dude, you two almost seem like a real couple. You should try acting haha"
You froze but started to plot your revenge on him
You kept acting like everything was fine and normal, and then broke up with HIM
Mattheo was shocked, because not only has he completely fallen for you but he's also never been broken up with
He unsure of what to do, but all he knows is he wants you back
THEODORE NOTT
Pulling girls has almost never been a problem for Theo his entire life
He even pulled grown women while being 14 years old (he's a victim...)
But his main problem is pulling a girl that would be approved by his parents
Theo surrounds himself with heavy drinkers, partiers, and dumb jocks: meaning there's not many partners that are "marriage material"
So he asks you, the Head Girl of your house, to pretend to be his girlfriend for family events
You agreed due to the large sum of money he was paying you, it's insane how rich he is
Every time Theo had a family event, he would just call you up and BOOM his family loves you
But as you keep coming to these family events, acting as a couple becomes less and less awkward for you both
You both agreed to not kiss each other due to this just being acting, plus kissing at family events is weird
But God, Theo really wants to break that rule when you and him are alone on the balcony at night while you ramble about the struggles of being Head Girl
He never thought he'd fall for the super nerdy, responsible, and awkward Head Girl - but he did, and he fell super hard
Theo wants to straight up ask you to be his real girlfriend, but he's so scared
He's scared of making you uncomfortable for catching feelings or making you think he planned this all along
LORENZO BERKSHIRE
Enzo's best friend is Blaise, almost everyone knows that
But what everyone also knows is that Blaise has the FATTEST crush on your best friend, Pansy Parkinson
And even more well known is that Pansy liked him back
There was literally no reason for these two to not get together, they were just too scared to confess
Which is odd since they're both so head-strong and confident, you guess it's just because they're scared of rejection
So Enzo reaches out to you, asking you to help come up with a plan to set them both up on a date
You two are complete strangers, only ever talking once or twice whilst in a group
So you both create a lie: that you and Enzo are going on a first date and need them to tag along to make it a "double date"
Obviously, this works on them because they're great friends
So now you and Enzo are on an awkward fake date while your best friends basically make out next to you
The original plan was just to tell Pansy and Blaise that there was no spark between you and Enzo
But due to you both spending an entire 12 hours together with Blaise and Pansy, you guys got comfortable with each others
He makes you laugh a ton and you do the same
You both love really niche topics and shows, even sharing the same favorite sports teams
Your bond only grows stronger after Blaise and Pansy ask for another double date
But you and Enzo take it slow, having the most sexual tension for months because you both were just claiming to be "friends only"
You finally broke that after about 4 months, thank God
666 notes · View notes
keerysfreckles · 3 months
Text
sparks fly — LN4
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pairing: lando norris x fem!reader
summary: “drop everything now, meet me in the pouring rain. kiss me on the sidewalk, take away the pain” — or when y/n goes to lando's childhood home in england, after her night turned for the worst.
warnings: abusive relationship, cursing, not proofread
a/n: shoutout to pookie nat for finally getting me into taylor 🙏
masterlist !
⋆ ˚ 。 ⋆ ୨୧ ˚
y/n knew from the moment she watched her first rom-com, she would find a love like the movies. how to lose a guy in ten days. thirteen going on thiry. ten things i hate about you. twenty seven dresses.
the list could go on. she was more than positive she'd find someone to love her the same way these fictional men loved their partners.
y/n met her first love during her spring break of her second year of uni. she could've sworn they were meant to be. they had plenty in common. they were studying the same major, both loved hockey, both wanted to study abroad someday, in paris or germany.
she thought it was perfect. until the fairy tale castle started crumbling.
during their third year of uni, y/n noticed patrick changing. he got more focused with his school work, but became more aggressive when y/n was involved.
y/n thought at first it was just the stress from exams coming up. she justified it as everyone's on edge, getting antsy for the year to be done with.
however it only fell downhill. the words of aggression turned into loud yells heard from their shard apartment at late hours. the yelling turned into patrick throwing any item he could find, which soon turned into y/n dodging almost everything patrick threw.
he hasn't hit her yet, which was possibly the only thing keeping y/n in the relationship. she really believed he could change. but as days passed, and his anger only progressed, she wasn't sure the old patrick was still inside.
sure, the man would always try to make it up to her. a million open eneded apologies could only do so much.
on the twenty third of october, that's when shit hit the fan.
"patrick please, just let me go to bed. it's late, we're both angry and not thinking right," y/n tried reasoning with him, knowing her words don't mean a thing to him.
"no, you're going to tell me what you were doing out so late."
y/n only lets out a scoff. it was the same fight almost every time she went out with friends, or simply went to the library to study. patrick never believed her.
"for the last time, i was out with jess. all we did was go shopping," y/n explains again. her own anger starts rising. she feels the bottle inside her shaking, getting ready to explode.
she stands from the couch, walking to their shared room.
"you think you can walk away from me?" patrick quickly follows, slamming the bedroom door behind him.
"what is your problem!" y/n finally shouts, "you never believe me. what do you think i'm doing? cheating on you? how can i do that when you barely let me leave this goddamn apartment?"
y/n's breath heaved. she felt a small pressure release as she finally got the courage to yell at the man standing in front of her.
"who do you think you are?"
as patrick spoke, he stepped closer to y/n. causing her to step back, eventually becoming trapped between the him and the wall.
"who gave you the right to talk to me like that?" patrick seethed, before reaching out and grabbing y/n's wrist.
his grip only tightened when she let out pained sounds, as tears started forming in her eyes.
she tried prying his hand off her wrist with her other one, "let go," she begged.
y/n started kicking. she didn't know where her feet were ending up, but was grateful patrick had started backing away from her movements.
she managed to release her wrist from his hold, and ran towards the bedroom door. grabbing anything she could before leaving the apartment, she was able to grab her phone and her shoes.
patrick tried grabbing at her again, yelling and begging for her to come back. she was still struggoing to slip her shoes on even when she got outside.
y/n swore she still heard patrick's yelling from where she stood.
once she got at least a block away, the tears couldn't help but fall. her vision became fuzzy as she kept walking. she kept tripping over he untied shoe laces, stepping in the puddles from the rain beginning to fall from her sky.
as if the rain was matching y/n's mood.
in the ten minutes she continued to mindlessly walk, y/n couldn't believe how stupid she had been. scolding herself for staying with the man who only made her the worst version of herself.
y/n kept walking, until she seemed to find herself in an all too familiar neighborhood. she couldn't even begin to count the times she's been here.
she tries ridding her tears, knowing its no use as her eyes are probably bright red and puffy.
she begins to knock on the door of the house she knows too well. as her hand leaves the wood, her mind only begins to spiral.
what are you doing? they might not even be home. this could be too much for them to handle. they won't want to see me. they can't do anything–
the sound of locks turning brought y/n back from inside her mind.
cisca stood on the other side of the door, in the warmly lit house. her heart broke at the sight of y/n drenched from the rain, her shoes barely holding onto her feet, and her shaking hands.
"oh darling," cisca starts.
"i didn't know where else to go," y/n's voice shakes as cisca lets her inside. she's gone for a moment, before coming back with a towel for the girl.
"you know you're welcome here any time," cisca brought y/n towards the living room, not caring if the couch gets wet. she can always fix it later.
"you dry off some more, i'll be back with a cup of tea," cisca rubs y/n's arm before leaving for the kitchen. the older woman's mind wanders to all the possibilities for why y/n was at their home at the late hour.
minutes pass and cisca sets the warm cup of tea in y/n's hands, instantly receiving a thank you from her.
cisca gasps slightly at the bruise already forming around y/n's wrist. "sweetheart, what happened?"
she rubs her back as y/n explains everything to the woman. from the point patrick began getting verbally violent, to the events that happened no less then half an hour ago.
cisca couldn't believe her ears. the sweet y/n she knew would never have stayed with someone like that, but cisca hardly knows her at any more. ever since she started uni she rarely comes over to her best friends childhood home.
after pulling y/n into a much needed hug, cisca began setting up the extra bedroom. while y/n stayed on the couch, finishing the cup of tea in her hands.
"hey mom, i heard noise from my room. everything okay?" lando peeks his head into the spare bedroom, instantly confused to why his mother is setting up the bed.
"y/n is out there, and she just needs to be comforted right now, okay? she's had a rough night," cisca explains as lando nods in understanding.
lando walks through the hallway towards the living room, and just like his mother, his heart sinks at the sight of y/n. she's hunched over on the couch, finally getting warmer from being out in the rain.
"i thought i heard noise out here," lando chuckles, hoping a light hearted mood might fix the atmosphere around y/n.
once their eyes meet, he knows one slightly fun comment won't make anything better. he sees her bloodshot eyes, and worried expression.
"oh, baby," the nickname slips through his lips. one he's called her many times in the past.
he kneels in front of her to wrap his arms tightly around her waist, as hers reach for his shoulders.
he didn't know how much comforting she needed, but could only guess it was a lot after she started crying against his shoulder.
he continued to hold her, rubbing his hands up and down her back. his heart started to break once she started shaking in his arms. a mixture from the crying and her body finally letting the stress and anxiety get to her.
"i should've listened to you," y/n mumbled against his shoulder.
lando doesn't respond, knowing exactly what the girl meant.
her grip loosened slightly on his shoulders, now just resting her hands there as she looks at him.
"you were right. he wasn't a good guy. you had a feeling and i should've listened to you," y/n rambles on, knowing lando's been right about patrick since the first time the two men met.
"what did he do?" lando asks, moving his hands to hers. however, his fingers brush over y/n's brusing skin. the action makes her flinch slightly, and lando's heart breaks for the second time that night.
"i shouldn't have come here," y/n states, beginning to shake her head back and forth. "i'm sorry."
"you have nothing to be sorry for, you can stay," lando tries to reason with her.
he continues to try even when he follows her back out in the rain.
"y/n! just come inside!" he runs after her, his socks getting damp from the drying puddles outside. he looks up, the rainfall definitely slowed, but y/n's hair was beginning to get wet again.
"no lando, it's fine. i'll go back there for the night. he's probably calmed down by now."
lando reaches y/n, "you can't possibly want to go back there. he hurt you. you can barely move your wrist because of the bastard."
y/n turned to see lando looking at her, his curls falling slightly from the drizzling rain.
"you can't go back there y/n."
"i've already ruined yours and your mom's night."
lando laughs, "that's the last thing you've done. you and i both know you're more than welcome to stay the night."
after minutes of silence, lando speaks up again while stepping closer to y/n.
"i want you to come inside. i want you to be comfortable and safe."
it's as if a switch went off in y/n's head. a switch she's surprised didn't go off sooner.
seeing lando like this, standing in the rain in front of her. wanting nothing more than to make sure she's protected. something patrick would never have done, during any circumstances.
he watches her eyes flick between his own and his lips.
he lets out a shuddered breath as she simply begins walking closer to him.
"y/n, you went through way too much tonight. i don't want to add to any of your stress."
y/n shakes her head, "lando i've never been more sure of anything."
lando's hands find their way to her waist as she finally steps in front of him.
"take away my pain lando, please. you're the only person who's been here for everything. you're the only one i need. i'm so stupid for not seeing it earlier. i should've never went on that stupid date. i should've listened to you, and– and if i did i would've been here so much sooner."
y/n catches her breath. her heart hammers in her chest waiting for lando's reaction.
tears begin to blur her vision once more, her emotions getting the better of her as lando doesn't respond.
"lan, please say something. you're what i want, not h–"
y/n stumbles back slightly from the impact of lando's lips pushing against hers. her hands hold onto his face, scared that if she let's go, she might just be imagining this.
"please, let me take you back in–"
now y/n cuts off lando's words, making the man laugh into the kiss. the sound and feeling sending shivers up y/n's spine.
lando breaks the kiss, but feels y/n's breath fanning over his lips.
"now can you please come back inside?"
"one more," y/n mumbles against his lips before he has the chance to reject her offer.
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woso-dreamzzz · 4 months
Text
Shots III
Magdalena Eriksson x Child!Reader
Fridolina Rolfö x Child!Reader
Part of The Big Adventures Universe
Summary: You need a flu shot
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"So they just jab it in?" Frido asks over dinner, mouth open and eyes wide.
"Yeah," Magda says, nodding furiously," Needle out and just jabbed in." She demonstrates with her hand. "It's the worst. It hurts her super bad."
"That's awful. You'd think they'd find a pain-free version to deliver vaccines. But she's all caught up, right?"
Magda shakes her head. "I forgot to take her to get her flu shot before we left Germany. Pernille's so mad at me."
"But we're only in camp, right? There's no way she's going to sick. I mean-"
Frido's cut off by a loud sneeze from Filippa followed by a brutal round of coughing.
"Pernille's going to kill you."
Magda groans, burying her head in her hands. "I've arranged with the team doctors to give Princesse her shot here."
"But..." Frido frowns. "She won't like it here anymore if we make her get shots!"
"I think that's Pernille's plan," Magda replies," If we give Princesse shots here then she'll stop wanting to come. It's genius."
"It's rude."
"Still genius though."
Frido sighs loudly, shaking her head. "I can't believe you put us in this position, Magda! Why couldn't you have just taken her to get her shot in Germany?"
"It slipped my mind!"
"Well now she's going to slip away from Sweden!" Frido continues," We can't let her start going back to Denmark! She'll want to play for their team soon enough! We can't lose her!"
"I know!" Magda replies," But I also don't want to lose Princesse privileges and that will definitely happen if we don't take her to get her shot."
"This is awful," Frido bemoans," I can't believe it's come to this."
Zećira, who had been silent through the entire conversation, sighs. "You're so dramatic."
Dramatic or not, Magda is forced to take you to get your flu shot. Pernille might actually kill her if she doesn't and Frido tags along for the ride, supposedly to remind you of all the great things Sweden has that Denmark hasn't like IKEA and Zećira.
"I know Zećira is here," You tell Frido as Magda leads you into the doctor's office," She's always here."
"I know," Frido says," But just remember how much you like being taught by Zećira."
"I know that!" You say, cheeks puffed out in annoyance," You're being weird!"
Before Frido can defend herself though, Magda hauls you up onto the little bed set up in the room.
"So," The nice doctor man says," Just a flu shot, is that right?"
"That's right."
"Morsa forgot to take me when we were in Germany," You tell him, much to Magda's embarrassment," Momma yelled at her for ages and ages and ages and ages-"
"She's never had a reaction to them before?" The doctor asks Magda.
"-And ages and ages and ages-"
"No reactions," Magda confirms, feeling a sense of nausea creeping in," She's always been fine with them."
"-And ages and ages!" You finish," And Morsa had to sleep on the sofa and I took her space in the Big Bed!"
The nice doctor man smiles at you. "That sounds cool." He wheels himself closer. "Can you open your mouth for me, please?"
You do as you're told and he inspects your throat before moving his hands to check your neck hasn't swelled up. He checks your temperature too and whatever he finds satisfies him because he wheels away to get the medicine Morsa said you were getting given today.
Frido has to hold her breath. it's been a long time since she's had to have any shots herself. She's forgotten what they look like.
Tears already start building in her eyes as the doctor brings out the syringe, uncapping the top.
It doesn't look sharp. In fact it doesn't look like any needle Frido's ever seen before and that makes it so much worse.
It doesn't look like it would easily go into skin so it's definitely going to hurt you a lot.
She sucks in a ragged gasp for air before holding her breath again.
"Have you ever had this done before?" The nice doctor man asks and you nod your head.
"Momma took me last year!"
"And did it look like this?"
You study it for a moment. "Uh-huh."
"Well, it looks like you're a pro. You ready?"
"Yes."
To Frido and Magda's horror, he positions the syringe in your nose, releasing the vaccine quickly before turning to do the same with your other nostril.
"I...I think I feel sick," Frido says, clutching her tummy.
She doesn't know why you're not crying. It must have hurt much more to have the needle jabbed into your nose twice.
She had no idea doctors were working out ways to make kids hate having shots even more.
"All done!" The doctor says," Would you like a sticker?"
"Yes, please!"
You choose a sticker with a kitten on it, slamming it straight onto your shirt before jumping down from the bed.
Frido and Magda are still clutching each other, traumatised from what they've just witnessed.
You frown. "You're both being weird. It was just a spray."
Magda freezes. "Huh?"
"I makes my nose all tingly but I'm fine!" You give them both a beaming smile.
"A spray?"
"Yes," The doctor says," We've started to move away from giving young children actually injections to help against flu. The nasal spray is much more effective...and painless."
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cosmicpearlz · 4 months
Text
my love is mine, all mine (pt 2)
summary: more glimpses of your relationship with jude!
pairing: jude bellingham x reader
a/n: i’m having too much fun writing these scenarios lol
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~one~
you rarely ever get into arguments with jude but when it does happen, it’s terrible on everyone’s part. this particular moment was about him not spending enough time with you.
“so you’re saying i can’t hangout with my friends? because that’s what it’s sounding like.”
“jude, that’s not what i’m saying! i’m just saying that it would be nice to have a day with just us. i feel like i’m left on a back burner right now.”
“we do hangout. i mean, i’m here right now but you wanna spend the time arguing!”
“tell me the last time we had a day to ourselves! please enlighten me,” you were beyond frustrated and your head was hurting from all the yelling.
“stop being so fucking clingy. i see you at home every night! we don’t need to be together 24/7.”
you felt your heart throbbing from the pain of hearing those words. is it really such a crime to want quality time with someone you love? between his training sessions and your job, there hasn’t been much alone time.
“okay. my apologies for wanting my boyfriend here with me. i won’t ask again,” you took a step back, looking down to possibly stop the tears. it didn’t work. the more you thought about it, the more it hurt.
jude instantly regretted saying that. he understood completely where you were coming from but the stubbornness in him clouded his judgement.
“baby, i’m-“
“i don’t wanna talk to you jude.”
-
it’s been hours since he last saw you. jude already made the guest room into his bed for the night and found himself restless. he wouldn’t admit it to anyone else but he couldn’t sleep without you near. even if you guys weren’t cuddling, at least his hand could be on you in some way. so he tossed and turned until he had enough.
jude makes his way to the room door, raising his hand to knock when the door swings open. it startles the both of you. leaving you to stare at each other in silence. jude noticed the dry tear streaks that laid on the apple of your cheeks. it made him feel worse.
“you really hurt-“
“i’m sorry bab-“
speaking at the same time wasn’t uncommon for you two, causing the both of you to let out a breathy laugh.
“you can go first honey,” his light whisper fell into the air as if he were too scared to talk any louder.
“jude, you really hurt my feelings earlier. i just wanted to spend time with you and you made it seem like i was asking for a million dollars or something bigger. i didn’t feel heard during our conversation but unfortunately i can’t sleep without you. so i was coming to drag you to bed even though i’m still very mad at you.”
“baby i’m sorry. i’m so sorry for hurting your feelings. i want you to know that i don’t mean it. hell, everyone knows i’m the clingy one! you’re the love of my life and i would spend days mending whatever hurt i caused,” his hands came to rest on your cheeks, fingers softly swiping at the dry tear stains.
“can we go to bed now? i’m exhausted and we can finish talking in the morning,” jude nods in response to you and kisses your nose.
“yeah, let’s go to bed m’love.”
~two~
“hey babe!”
jude looks up from his ipad upon hearing your voice through the phone. he was in germany for match and of course, he asked you to go with him. saying something along the lines of being his good luck charm. you couldn’t originally get the off time from your job.
“i miss you so much.”
“jude, baby you’ve been gone for like two days.”
“and your point is?”
“okay, whatever you say. anyways, i got a package for ya! just open the door.”
the boy failed to realize how close your face was in the camera and how you whispered. you had surprised him by coming to germany, being that your boss changed her mind and let you go. it wasn’t like you asked for off time a lot anyways.
“what?”
“can you open the door baby?”
jude jumps off the bed and practically leaps to the door. swinging it open to find you with a toothy smile. he rushes to hug you, bending down to your hight and pulling you into his arms.
“you said you couldn’t come!”
“surprise! my boss decided to let me take the time off last minute. i found the first flight here.”
“how’d you get to the hotel? i would’ve picked you up.”
“it wouldn’t have been a surprise then.”
he detaches himself from you to grab your bag, then grabbing your hand, walking you inside. you take a seat on the couch that was sitting in the room and smiled as your boyfriend put your bag next to his.
“i can’t believe you’re here.”
“well believe it,” jude sat next to you and began pressing kisses into whatever inch of skin he could get to.
“babe relax,” you say, in between giggles as he continued his work down to your neck. only getting off you when you pushed his shoulder back.
“i just missed you.”
“it’s been two days!”
“so what.”
~three~
you’ve become familiar with jude being your passenger princess. you never minded, it was just nice having someone to drive with. so, you took him on another one of your side quests. thrifting.
“i hope i find something good this time. last time we went, it was a bunch of bullshit.”
“i’m kinda hoping i see something i like,” you gasp into response to him, quickly looking at him and then looking back at the road.
“woah, thee jude bellingham is interested in thrifting?”
“oh come off it.”
“i’m just saying! i literally never heard you say anything like that. just making sure my ears heard correctly,” you give him a teasing smile.
“i will jump into oncoming traffic.”
“no you won’t.”
“i swear i will.”
“i’m calling your bluff.”
the silence in the car became loud as you both tested one another.
“no i won’t.”
“ha! i knew it.”
“whatever, drive faster loser. all the good stuff are gonna be gone.”
~four~
you wake up finding the bed empty. jude’s side is made up, totally not uncommon. you figured he was at training and got out of bed to get something to eat. as you walked to the kitchen, you find your boyfriend with his bare back towards you.
“good morning darling,” he turns his head to face you with a small smile.
“good morning. what’s all this?”
“i wanted to cook for you! training was canceled today because of a family emergency. i was gonna surprise you in bed but of course you had to wake up early.”
“that’s very sweet of you,” you make your way towards him and wrap your arms around his waist. pressing your front into his back, hugging him as tight as you could. you leaned up to kiss the back of his shoulder blade before stepping away.
“let’s spend the day inside.”
“are you sure jude? i know today is my off day but you don’t have to stay in with me.”
“i want to.”
jude plates the food and sits it on the dining room table. you follow close behind and go to grab your chair. instead, jude pulls out your chair for you. pushing you in before pressing a kiss to the top of your head. sitting down next to you, you both began to eat. a comfortable silence fills the room as you both ate. his free hand resting on your thigh, caressing the skin beneath his fingers.
“i love you so much. thank you for this.”
“you shouldn’t have to thank me. i’m your boyfriend, it’s a job of mine to make sure you’re feeling loved at all times.”
“trust me, i feel all the love right now.”
“it still wouldn’t be enough to express how much i truly am in love with you darling.”
“don’t get sappy on me bellingham,” you teased, watching his face attempt to hide a smile.
“oh we wouldn’t want that,” he plays along and kisses your cheek, making you both laugh in the process.
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princessedesfleursss · 6 months
Text
SV05E1
Pairing: husband!sebastian vettel x wife!fem!reader
Genre: smut
Warnings: public sex, a little degradation, several orgasms, jealousy, swearing, google translated german
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It was quite a long time since Seb and you had decided to come out for dinner. Especially after his retirement you had moved back to Germany with your husband who had been focused on his shaping his future career and spending more time with the kids. 
With the kids, you both never had time to attend to your relationship. Stolen kisses &  quickies in the washroom was what held your relationship together. The past few weeks of busy schedules and having to constantly make sure the kids were sorted out with their schoolwork put a strain on your relationship. Which is why when Sebastain’s sisters had offered to take care of the kids for the weekend, after overhearing a hushed argument you both had during a family get together, without any hesitation the both of you had said yes. 
So that led you to where you were now. In a fancy restaurant in Monaco drinking wine and waiting for the food you ordered to arrive. 
All throughout the evening the waiter had been throwing you flirtatious glances. Maybe it was the dress you were wearing or maybe it was the fact that Sebastian seemed almost invisible to them. 
“If that moron doesn’t stop drecksack (scum bag) doesn’t stop eyeing you up and down I might have to go down there and punch him,” Sebastian muttered to you under his breath. 
This wasn’t new for either of you. Sebastian was much older than you and at times people thought he wasn’t actually your husband but rather someone else- more specifically someone who wasn’t romantically accompanying you. 
“Süße (honey) ignore that,” you said rubbing your ring clad fingers up and down his arms, “You know I’ve got my eyes only on you.”
You knew that it didn’t ease Sebastian and that you had gone over this a million times but the man was jealous & possessive over you rightfully so. 
“Give me a kiss liebling,” he requested and you obliged too excitedly. 
Caressing the side of his cheek and leaning in to lock your lips with his, you felt yourself melting as he took control of the kiss. His hand was sliding up and down your arm and yours were lingering on his cheek and the other over his hand. His fingers clasped yours and the pad of his thumb stroked the top of your hand. 
It wasn’t until the waiter was nearby that your make out session was interrupted. A hue of red painting your cheeks you moved away from Sebastian. The waiter walked closer and placed the food of the table. 
Turning to you and brazenly ignoring Sebastian he asked,
“Mademoiselle, would you like some more wine?”
“I’ll let you know if we need more,” Sebastian replied in a curt manner. 
You watched as the waiter bow and make his way back to the kitchen. 
“Oh is my old man getting all wired up now?” You asked Sebastian teasingly as you let your wandering hands settle on this robust thigh. 
Taking his hand from the table and kissing it, you held it close to your face letting your face rest of his open palm. With both your hands holding onto his hand, you continued,
“Ich werde dich immer lieben und nur dich (I will always love you and only you).”
Sebastian looked back at you lovingly and murmured, “I know. And I love you even more than that liebling.”
After eating and conversing, having time for yourself, you felt like you needed to uplift the mood a little. Plus you were feeling horny with Sebastian looking all worked up. You wouldn’t have minded him taking your right here in front of the waiter that had been eyeing you up all evening. 
Signaling the same waiter to come over to you, who almost too enthusiastically scurried over to you, you placed an order for two tiramisus. 
A walk to the kitchen and back, the waiter came over with a tray of tiramisu and started serving for you and your husband. Sebastian wasn’t pleased at all but since he was sipping on his wine trying really hard to not punch the waiter you took your chance. 
Dipping a finger to the tiramisu you looked back up at the waiter and brought it over to your mouth and licked your finger clean. You watched as the waiters eyes widened as he watched your tongue wrap around your finger licking it squeaky clean. 
“Mmm, this is too sweet for me,” you said as you looked back up at the waiter innocently, “Do you have anything less sweet?”
“W-we have um… cranberry pudding Mademoiselle. The prefect blend… blend of uh… just you know sour and sweet,” the waiter stuttered as you looked back at him with flirtatious eyes. You raised your eyebrow and he continued, “Of course it’s not too sweet. I’ll take this back to the kitchen and bring out a new one immediately.”
Sebastian watched all this unfold right in front of him with a perplexed look on his face. And when the waiter left to return the dessert and bring a new one in, he gave you one stern look and questioned, 
“What the fuck was that liebling?”
You made yourself comfortable on your seat and looked up at him as if you hadn’t just flirted with another in front of your husband.
“What do you mean Seb?”
“Verhalte dich nicht ganz unschuldig (Don’t act all innocent),” he spat back. 
Sighing you replied in a calm tone, “Since you were being a grumpy old man all throughout dinner I thought I needed to find someone else to entertain myself.”
That was all it took for Sebastian to get up from the table, startling you. He grabbed hold of your hand and led you over to the dimly light but spacious washrooms. 
Twisting the lock of the door and making sure no one could come in, he pushed your body over to the counter and kissed you harshly. 
“You think you can act like a schlampe (slut) and get away with it?” Sebastian asked, his mouth leaving a hot trail of kisses down your open neck. 
“I’ll show you what this old man can do.”
Sebastian lifted up your red dress and looked at you with a not so amused look when he realized what you were wearing. 
“Only for you-“
“Oh shut it,” he kissed you with a strong sense of urge, letting his fingers run through your folds and gathering the sweet slick to bring it up to his mouth to taste it. 
“So fucking sweet.”
You felt your face heat up at his dirty comment. Sebastian smirked at the coy look on your face and without any warning plunged his fingers into your hot & wet core. In and out he pulled and pushed his fingers and you lost yourself in the squelch of your pussy. 
“Babe I’m close,” you let your husband know. Sebastian hummed in acknowledgement his lips hovering over your neck and marking small bites all over the expanse of your skin. 
When you came with a sense of relief on his hands, Sebastian wasted no time and pulled out his dick, giving it a few strokes and pushing it into you without warning. You hissed due to the oversensitivity you felt after having cummed a few seconds ago. 
“This feels so good, doesn’t it libeling?” He asked as he slid he steadied himself against you. 
“Hmmm, yes, yes, it feels soo good Sebastian.”
Sebastian railed harder into you, feeling your velvety walls close around him, squeezing him tightly. He grabbed your jaw, making you look at him, your scrunched up eyes now opening up to look back at his bright blue eyes that were now filled with lust. 
“Kiss me,” you whispered. 
The minute the request left your plush lips, his were on yours, making out as he drilled into you. Within a matter of seconds you came undone around him. However, Sebastian was far from close. Pulling out of you, he turned you around. Protests fell from your lips, letting him know that you were oversensitive from having cummed twice, but he simply ignored your pleas knowing you were down bad as much as he was, despite your resistance. 
You held on tight to the edges of the counter top of the fancy washroom the restaurant had. Just then, Seb pushed into you making you drag a sinful moan. Holding tight onto your waist, Sebastian barely showed you any mercy as he drilled into you at a menacing pace. 
“Schau dich an, ganz angezogen, benimmst dich aber gegenüber anderen Männern immer noch wie eine schlampe (Look at you, all dressed up but still acting like a slut for other men),” your husband spat at you. He nibbled onto the shell of your ear as he spat a plethora of profanities into your ear. 
You continuously moaned as Sebastian pushed into you and within the next few seconds you felt yourself letting out a powerful orgasm for the third time that night and your husband’s release coating your insides making you feel giddy like a first time bride. Exhausted as you were, you waited until Seb pulled out of you to turn around and slump onto him. 
He angled your jaw so that you were looking up at him with your tired eyes. Stroking your cheek he teased you, “If only you hadn’t called me an old man and made me jealous in front of that dummer kellner (stupid waiter).”
You smiled and laid your head on his chest, replying back cheekily, “But it was worth it wasn’t me. I haven’t had sex like this for ages Seb. Felt so good.”
“Wait till you get to the hotel then.”
Laughing at the nasty things you were both going to do back at the hotel after being seamless here at the restaurant, Sebastian and you fixed yourselves up and left the restroom. Outside, the waiter who was waiting for your return barely looked you in the eye and Sebastian simply painted a smug smile on his face knowing he had set the “dummer kellner” in his place. 
790 notes · View notes
latenightdaydreams · 5 months
Text
Trucker!König x Stranded!Reader Part2 (fem)
MDNI🔞
For part one click here!
Part1, Part 3, Part4, Part5
Master List
🚫Same as part one, there are HUGE TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR THIS STORY!🚫
Please do not read if you are not in a good mental health head space or cannot handle extreme content. Your mental health matters more than a story! I have other smut and fluff with a kind and consensual König, please enjoy those instead🥰 Remember you're all amazing and deserve happiness in the world. I hope you all have a fantastic day and take care of yourself🩷
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🚫LAST WARNING BEFORE TRIGGERS🚫
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>cw: fem/afab, p in v, non-con, recording, threats, breath restriction.
3.1 word count
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With the sun in your eyes, you wake up on a groggy state; the sleeping pill having been so strong, you feel as if you’re hung over. At first your vision is a little blurry so you try to rub your eyes awake. Going to pull your hands down, you realize you can’t. Instant fear sets in as you realize your hands are bound together with zip ties attached to a bar over your head. You feel the truck moving, König is driving. In a panic you look over to him and with a trembling voice, you speak up.
“König…” you can’t control your breathing.
“Ah! Guten Morgen, meine Liebe.” König’s voice overly cheerful. He looks at you quickly over his shoulder. “That pill took you out for quite a while.” He chuckles as if this is a casual situation.
“Why…why am I tied up?” You like to think of yourself as a strong woman, but you’ve never felt this level of helplessness before.
“So that you don’t run.”
Silence lingered in the air as you stare at the back of his head. “Please don’t do this.”
“It’s already done.” He shoots you an uneasy glare from over his shoulder.
You take a deep shaky breath as your gaze stays on him. “I have friends waiting for me in Germany-”
“No, you don’t.” He cuts you off swiftly. “You said you were here alone already, remember?” He lets out a low chuckle. “You should know better than to give out that type of information from a man you don’t know Liebling.”
In your mind you begin to play back every action from taking a sleeping pill from him, getting in the truck, getting the piece of shit car, to planning this trip. All the small things that added up and left you here. Tears begin to stream down your face as true panic begins to set in.
König stays quiet and lets you have your little tantrum, smirking as he listens to your sobs. He waits for you to relax before telling you the rules. He’s a patient man, he can wait. 20 minutes pass and he let out a sigh as he hears your sobs quiet down.
“Now, I want you to listen closely please. In public, you keep your head down and don’t speak. You’ll get one chance to use the bathroom a day, so don’t fuck it up for yourself. When I ask for something, I don’t want to get any push back. You’re mine now, you have to obey.”
You stay quiet and listen to the words as the world seems like a blur around you. His voice blending into the sound of the tires on the road.
“Do you understand?” König’s voice tone snapping you back to this moment.
“Yeah…” Your voice cracks as you speak.
“Gut.” König ignores you and continues to drive. His mind preoccupied with the thought of what he recorded last night and what he will record again soon.
A voice comes in over his radio and you see a spark of hope, a way out. You watch König press down on the button and respond in fast German that you can’t understand. An idea comes to mind, if you scream for help when König presses to talk, maybe someone will hear you and track König down to save you. Sitting and listening to the men talk back and forth in a language you don’t know, the urge to do it now just overcame you.
“HELP!” You shout as König presses down to speak, “HE HAS ME TRAPPED IN HIS TRUCK!” Your voice strained from all of the crying you’ve been doing.
Panic sets in as König turns his head to look at you, you’re waiting for him to yell or physically hurt you. He doesn’t. He simply laughs. So does the voice on the other end of the line.
“I can see she’s woken up!” The voice jokes with a strong German accent.
Your heart sinks. He knows? And is okay with this? Tears burn your eyes as you feel stupid now and are scared for how König might punish you for trying to get help. Dropping your head back on to the pillow, you let out a long breath and let the tears roll down your face.
“So,” König has an air of arrogance in his voice, “how did your little plan go Maus? Were you expecting to be saved?” He mocks you.
You don’t say anything as you just lay there feeling defeated yet again. You take a deep shaky breath, trying not to cry.
“I’ll let that one slide, but next time I will have to put a muzzle on you Maus.” König shakes his head. “I have a sandwich and water for you if you’re hungry.”
You look at him, your stomach growling. Did he drug the food? Poison it? You have to eat sometime though… “I am.”
“Good girl, I’ll feed you once we get to the motel.”
“Motel?”
“Well, I have to sleep and there’s not enough room for the both of us. Plus, I want to clean you up.”
His words make your heart sink into your stomach. The thought of him cleaning you- just seeing you naked puts you into a panic. Your jaw beginning to shake as you try to suppress your emotions, not wanting him to know how much he is affecting you.
As hours pass, the sun begins to set again. König hasn’t spoken to you this whole time and you’ve just been trying to dissociate so you can avoid a break down. You look out the windows of the truck and see the sign for a motel. König parks the truck and stands. He turns to you and looks you up and down.
“Now Maus, I’m going to give you a choice here.” He clears his throat and kneels in front of you, “You can either be a good girl and walk beside me with your head down not saying a word or I give you another one of those sleeping pills.”
“I- I’ll behave…” You don’t want to be in that motel room trapped with him and not be conscious.
“You better, I’m not above resorting to violence.” His piercing blue eyes bore into yours. He left the truck, leaving you tied up, to go pay for a room.
While he is gone, you try hard to pull your hands out of the zip ties as they dig into your wrist. Pulling with all you might nothing happens other than hurting yourself. You stop once you hear heavy footsteps approaching the truck again.
He opens the door and steps inside. He begins to gather his things before he turns and looks at you. He took out his pocket knife and kneeled beside you.
“When I cut these, if you try to run, I will catch you and it will be worse for you.” He threatens.
You nod in understanding feeling a deep-rooted fear from his words. You believe him and didn’t want to push him, but also didn’t want to go into that motel room. Getting out alive is your main goal, so you do as he asks. He cuts the zip ties and yanks you up by your sore wrist. With wobbly legs you follow him out of the truck into the parking lot. Looking around there are no other cars other than another semi-truck. Feeling the warm air with a nice breeze makes you feel free, fills you with an illusion of peace.
König pulls you up to the door and opens the door with the keycard. He gently pushes you in and quickly closes and locks the door behind him. You stand there with your body trembling as he turns to look at you.
“Take your clothes off.”
You don’t move and just look at him. In his mind you’re going over a hundred different ways you could possibly try to fight him and flee, but he is massive, has a knife, and you don’t know where you are.
“Now!” He barks taking you out of your thoughts and back to reality.
You grab the hem of your shirt and pull it over your head before pulling down your leggings.  His eyes stay on you as you undress. Your hands fumble with the clasp of your bra as you become nervous before finally letting it fall to the floor. He walks to you and yanks your underwear off.
“You’re taking too long,” he huffs. “Hands behind your back.”
You put your hands behind your back as he asked. He zip ties your wrist together again, your wrist sore and in pain. He pushes you forward and towards the bathroom. He turns the shower on and checks the waters temp. His eyes looking back at you up and down, lingering on the bush between your legs.
“Get in.” He demands.
You walk to the shower and step in, the water warm as you stand there letting the water hit your body. König grabs a wash cloth and begins to lather it with a soap bar. He begins to wash your body; you close your eyes and turn your head trying to not get soap in your eyes. He aggressively washes your body. Grabbing the shower head, he rinses the soap off of you.
“Get out and follow me.” König turns the shower off and grabs a blue towel. He walks to the queen size bed and lays the towel down. You follow behind him soaking set, leaving a trail of water behind you as you walk. He points to the towel and you sit on it.
“Lay down,” he walks away back to the bathroom as you scoot back on the towel and lie down. The weight of your body on your hands behind your back is uncomfortable.
He comes back with a soapy wash cloth and a razor. You look at him and watch as he drops to his knees in front of you. He opens your legs and rubs your pubic area with the wash cloth. He began to gently shave your pubic hair. You stay as still as possible so he doesn’t cut you, you keep your eyes directed at the ceiling.
“You have a very beautiful pussy Maus.” König’s voice is full of lust and makes your stomach churn. He uses the wash cloth to wipe the hair he has shaved away. “Perfect…” he mumbles.
His hands caress your thighs before he stands and goes to the bathroom to return the razor and wash cloth. He comes back and grabs you by the shoulders to sit you up. He walks to one of his bags and opens the cooler. Placing the sandwich and the water on the small desk in the corner of the room.
“You can eat once we are done. I don’t want you to throw up.”
Going back to the bag he grabs a tripod and a second phone. He pulls the bedside table away from the wall a few feet. He places the tripod on top and places his phone in the phone slot. Taking the lamp shade off of the lamp the room gets brighter. You begin to realize what is going to happen.
“Don’t worry, this is only for me to watch.” He lies.
König begins to undress, pulling his shirt over his head revealing his scarred body to you. He pulls his belt off and tosses it on the bed before he undoes his pants and pulls them down, stepping out of them. You look forward trying to ignore his body, but it’s useless as he walks in front of you now; his erection in your face now. He grabs the belt off the bed and begins to wrap it around your neck. This causes a fight or flight trigger response and you scream and kick.
He puts his hand on your mouth and pushes you back into the bed, “If you scream and the young man at the front desk tries to come and save you, I’ll kill him. So, either save a human life, or be selfish and take him down with you.”
He phrases this as if you’re the bad guy in this situation, as if it isn’t him that would be killing the innocent man. You lay there looking at him, struggling to breathe with his calloused hand over your mouth and nose.
“Do you understand?”
You nod your head in response and he backs off of you, sitting you back up. He tightens the belt around your neck to the point where talking and breathing was hard, but you could still do it. He walked to the phone on the tripod and hit record. He held his original phone in his hand.
“Lay back Maus.” His voice husky as he begins to stroke his cock with his freehand.
You do as he says. The phone in his hand is pointed at you, you assume it’s recording you as well. You turn your head the opposite way of all the cameras to try and disconnect form this moment.
“Look at me,” he snaps at you. You do as he asks. Your eyes meet his icy pale gaze as he smirks.
König moves forward, dropping his gaze down to your sweet cunt. He nuzzles himself between your legs and began to slap his heavy cock on your clit, slowly moving himself up and down. Finding your entrance, he pushes forward. No prep as he pushes in, your pussy tight and dry as it squeezes around him pushing into without warning. He eyes watch your cunt struggle to take his enormous size through the screen of his phone. The belt around your neck muffling the pitch of your pained sounds.
“Ooh, ja. That’s tight.” He groans as he pushes all the way into you.
As your hips squirm with discomfort your walls flutter all around the length of his cock sending waves of pleasure through his body.  Slowly he moves his hips back as he spits on his cock for lubrication. You watch in disgust as he records himself pushing back in. He begins to fuck into you faster, causing the bed to hit the wall. You try to focus on breathing as you feel slightly light headed.
König begins to let out small moans of pleasure as your body begins to react, betraying you, and gets aroused. He smirks as your pussy begins to get creamy and fucks you harder. His hips clashing harshly against yours.
“I knew you’d like this, Kleine Hure.” He laughs as he speaks those words.
With his free hand he reaches up and squeezes your breast before slapping them both harshly; leaving behind red marks and making you whimper slightly. His hand moves to your throat and chokes you. Already struggling for air, you begin to squirm. After a few seconds he lets go and slaps your face lightly.
König suddenly withdraws from you and moves up your body until he is hovering above your face, his cock covered in your creamy white arousal. “Open your mouth.”
You do as he says and begins to shove his cock into your mouth, bucking fast as his balls slap against your chin. The camera in your face making sure to record your struggle. You gag repeatedly, body arching wanting to push him off, but your hands are still bound behind your back.
Finally, he pulls his dick out. A long thick string of saliva hanging from the tip. You begin to cough and spit out more globs on to your own face to clear your airways. König spreads your spit around his cock and goes back down to your pussy. He uses his knees to spread your legs apart to fit his body. His cock easily slips back into you. He lets out a low moan as soon as he feels your grip on his sensitive tip again before pushing fully in.
He bucks his hips in a such a harsh motion he is slamming again your sore cervix. He moves forward slightly to put the camera in your face and record you as you get fucked. You try to turn your head but he quickly grabs your jaw and turns your head back.
“Look into the camera.” He demands and you obey. After a while the camera drifts down your body to your breasts and then back to your shiny cunt. “Schön, I got lucky with this one.”
Not able to hold off any longer, König pulls out of you quickly and begins to jerk his cock over you, moaning loudly. His cum shooting all over your body, landing on your breasts and stomach as some drips down on to your pussy. He stands there breathing heavy as he moves the camera over you to show off his work along your chest and breast. He slaps his cock on your clit a few times, recording himself playing with the cum that dripped.
Finally, König stands up, stopping the recording on his phone. He walks over to the one on the tripod and stops recording as well. He turns to you and walks to the bed beside you. Gently he removed the belt from your neck, it leaving behind a deep mark that will most likely bruise.
“You did well Maus.” His voice oddly soft as he goes into the bathroom to grab towels and wipe you off.
Grabbing your shoulders, he sits you up and turns around to grab the water and sandwich on the dresser. He opens the water and holds it up for you to drink. He is patient with you and doesn’t rush you as you gulp the water desperately. König holds the sandwich up for you to take bites. You’re hungry but lack an appetite after everything that just happened.
“Come on, don’t waste food Maus.” König still speaking softly to you, it disgusts you. Still, you continue to eat the food not wanting to anger him.
Once you’re done eating the sandwich, he moves your body up more in the bed and pulls the covers over you, not allowing you to get dressed. Hands still bound you feel terrible pain in your wrist and arms, causing you to fidget.
“I’m sorry, I hope you understand why I can’t untie you.”
You don’t respond, just look at him. He looks back at you and walks away. He gets dressed, boxers and a blue shirt, and pulls out a laptop from one of his bags.
“Get some rest, sweet dreams.” He gently kisses the top of your head and sits on the other side of the bed.
On his laptop he uploads the videos he took of you. He begins to watch and edit the videos before putting it up for sale. You lay there listening to the recordings over and over again as he works on it. Finally, you’re able to fall asleep. Wishing to wake up anywhere but here.
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Part 3
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tag: @soosouyoung
529 notes · View notes
drvscarlett · 6 months
Text
About You Pt2
Sebastian Vettel x Webber!Reader
Summary: Everyone knows about the history of Sebastian Vettel and Mark Webber. But there's a well kept story within the paddock about Sebastian Vettel and another Webber. This is that story.
A/N: were in the 2009 season. i also grabbed some ideas from a film quote so if you notice that, hello hehe. hope you enjoy, let me know your comments
About You Series: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Taglist: @spideybv28 @randomcuboidshape @mehrmonga @casperlikej @cliosunshine @randomgirlnumber-13 @sugyomama
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2009, Albert Park
Moving from Toro Rosso to Red Bull has been the source of excitement of Sebastian ever since he signed the contract last December. He was excited to work with a bigger team and it opened up better opportunities for a championship which is why he feels really giddy walking to Albert Park.
"Seems like a good year for a championship?"Christian greeted Sebastian.
"I'm looking forward to that, the car feels nice"Sebastian agreed.
When the two walked to the garage, they immediately saw the Webber siblings discussing with some of the mechanics. Mark immediately waved at Sebastian.
Sebastian can tell that their dynamics improved since it was announced that they will be teammates. They spent a lot of time together in Milton Keynes so they found each other tolerable. It was surprising that now he feels a lot more closer to Mark than to Y/N.
He was actually expecting her to be around when they said Mark will be around Milton Keynes but the female Webber never showed up. Mark says that Y/N has been taking some time off since she will be busy during the season. Sebastian thinks he might be the reason why she has been absent so he felt a little relieve to see her.
"Excited for the first race of the season?" Y/N asked.
"The car seems alright, I think we can bring some good points in"Sebastian replied.
"We're gonna bring in a challenge this year, I can feel that we can compete for the drivers and constructors championship this year"Mark added
"How about Brawn, do you think they'll be a challenge?"Y/N wondered.
Sebastian heard about the team during the winter break. It was sort of a crazy story about how everything happened. He never saw Jenson or Rubens as a threat so he thinks that they might be an okay team that he doesn't have to worry about.
"They are a new team, I'm sure they won't be a threat" famous last words.
Brawn GP turns out to be a slight threat. Sebastian calls it a slight threat since this was only the first race and maybe its just their luck that they managed to pull away. They have to see how they perform in the next few races.
It was quite a bummer that Red Bull was unable to bring any points. It frustrated him heavily since he started 3rd and managed to stay 2nd the whole race until that unfortunate collision with Kubica that ruined his race.
Mark managed to finish the race but he finished 13th. Still out of the points.
As Sebastian was replaying the whole thing in his hotel room, he heard soft knocks at his door. He didn't remember ordering anything from room service so he was a bit confused as he headed to open the door.
"Hi Seb" it was Y/N "I was sent here by Mark to ask you if you want to go out and eat. You are in Australia and our family is from Australia and it will be a little bit rude if we didn't treat you out in Australia"
"That's too many Australia in one sentence"
"Have dinner with us and the family?"she simplifies "Please?"
There was not much to do anyway, Seb thinks so he accepted the offer. It might also be a good start to rekindle the friendship since its been a while since the two spoke with each other.
"You're driving?"Sebastian asked
"Of course, what kind of host am I if I'm going to make you drive"
The drive was reminiscent of Sebastian's memory when they were in Germany. Only that the view is more of beaches rather than the greens and the cold of Europe.
"I heard stories about you and Mark, it seems that you two are getting along quite well"Y/N opened up the conversation
"Oh he talks about me?"
"Well as his assistant, I have to ask about his work dynamics so yeah you have been a talking point of our conversation"
"That's nice"Sebastian smiles "How is life treating you? I didn't see you in Milton Keynes"
She lets out a heavy sigh and Sebastian could tell that there is a certain tiredness in her eyes. Maybe its true what Mark said that Y/N is actually drained from a season of F1.
"I just have to get away. A lot of pressure to deliver"
Sebastian understands that. Its probably the reason why he also tried to be understanding with Mark's situation as well. He knows that at the end of the day, the sports was brutal in one way or another. Everyone eventually gets that pressure to deliver.
"Let's not talk about f1, lets just talk about basic life things" Sebastian steered the conversation.
There was a smile gracing both of their faces because its just Sebastian and Y/N again. No last names, no championships, just them.
2009, Sepang International Circuit
"I hate wet races" Y/N confirms.
She doesn't get why everyone gets a bit excited with wet racing but she can't find how this is enjoyable for some people. Isn't the thrill of racing beyond speed limit exciting enough for them? Now they even want to race under dangerous weather conditions.
"It test your skills as a driver" Sebastian defended "Back me up here Mark"
"You're on your own Seb"was the reply of the older Webber. He did not want to take side with anyone.
The trio has been sitting at the garage waiting for the race to start. There was still 20 minutes left and Y/N has been stressing about how the dark clouds are looming over. She thinks it may start under dry conditions then go to wet in a snap.
"You can test your skills by overtaking and setting the fastest lap" Y/N noted
"Its all about strategy and taking risks"Sebastian assured.
"You better make sure that the both of you finish the race"
"No promises, Seb might hit me again"Mark joked
"Oh c'mon, I said I was sorry about that"
True enough to Y/N's prediction, the race started on the dry conditions then it ended up to be a wet race. Y/N had her fair share of wet races but this was the most terrifying for her opinion. There were puddles and the drivers can't see a thing with the rain blocking their vision.
It gotten so bad that Y/N actually went out of the driver's room to check on the status of the drivers.
"Aren't they red flagging the race?"she asked one of the mechanics
"There is still nothing from the stewards but Mark is also insisting that the race should be stopped"
Y/N was glad that she wasn't the only sane Webber around.
Just then there was a crash on screen and the weather made it very difficult for them to decipher which car spun but it was for sure a Red Bull. Y/N felt a bit comforted that it just spun without hitting anyone or anything.
"Its confirmed, that is Seb's car"
"Safety car for the lap"
"Webber is gonna ask to stop the race"
There was a flurry of emotions inside the garage. The race was stopped at lap 33 and there was the question if they will wait for it to restart or is it called off completely.
"I'm in 15th, this is not good"Sebastian was already groaning. He missed out on the points again by a big margin.
"Hey 15th is okay than dnf or being hospitalized"
Knowing Sebastian, Y/N knew he wanted to do well and it didn't seem like it was going to how Sebastian had it in his mind earlier this year. She gave him a comforting pat.
"Do you want some ice cream?"she asked
Sebastian looked at her as if she grew two heads "In this cold weather? You are asking for ice cream?"
"Ice cream heals people's boo boo" Y/N shrugged "Besides Kimi made me hungry for ice cream"
"You are crazy" Sebastian started "But c'mon lets go get some ice cream"
2009, Circuit de Catalunya
Mark: Can you see me before qualis at the back of the garage Mark: need your help, please
Sebastian never received any urgent texts from Mark so he must say that his curiosity is piqued by it. He immediately set out to meet Mark in the designated location.
"You need me?"Sebastian asked.
"Sebastian, just the person I needed" Mark seems elated to see him "Listen I need you to do me a favor"
"Okay as long as I don't have to hide a body"
"What?"
"Nevermind that. It was a joke Mark"Sebastian wanted to facepalm himself. Mark never seems to understand his humor especially when he was too excited with things.
"So May 15 is coming up. I need your help to distract my sister and maybe tour her around Spain while we do some preparation at the hotel. I just need your help to distract her for like 3-4 hours"Mark explained.
"15th?What's on the 15th?"
Sebastian was pretty sure that there was no race or other commitments that is happening on the 15th. He tries to rack his head for any important dates on the 15th but he can't remember a thing. Meanwhile, Mark looked offended that Sebastian didn't know the significance of May 15.
"Its Y/N's birthday"Mark answered.
Oh. Now that Sebastian thinks about it, Y/N never told her birthday. He felt like an idiot after realizing how they spend a lot of time together but he still haven't asked her about her birth date. But now that he knows, he makes a mental note of it.
"Okay. I think I can do that. Leave it to me"
"Thanks Seb, I owe you big time"
Seb: Are you still here at the 15th? Y/N: Why are you asking? Seb: I'm feeling adventurous. What do you say about getting lost in spain? Y/N: hmm sounds nice. Count me in.
"How long till we get there"Y/N asked.
They have driven for quite some time already and Sebastian promised that this place will be worth the wait. Sebastian will not admit it but maybe he got a little bit of lost in directions for the past 20 minutes and he is just starting to get the hang of the destination right now.
"Just a few minutes more" Sebastian assured. He can already see the spires of the building so he felt a sigh of relief escape.
"We were lost a while ago, aren't we?"
Sebastian just give out a grin as he continues to drive closer to the place. He stopped at the designated parking lot and unlocked the door.
"Adventure awaits Miss Y/N, welcome to La Sagrada Familia"Sebastian introduced.
When Sebastian was looking for a place to go, the La Sagrada Familia was one of the top hit. Sebastian didn't even consider if she is religious or what but he thinks she can appreciate the reminder that this architecture is still a work in progress and it has managed to endure a lot throughout the years of construction.
"This is beautiful" was her response.
"They say that this will be the most beautiful form of apology when it is finished"Sebastian informed "This was built for the city's sins"
"I beg to disagree"Y/N replied.
It was now Sebastian's turn to be curious.
"I think this is the grandest gesture of someone's love"Y/N elaborated "This went on for years, decades, centuries-they did not stop loving Barcelona that they continue working so that the city will be forgiven"
It was a pretty analogy in Sebastian's mind. He felt like no amount of his research could compare with that realization.
If the outside of the cathedral looks majestic, the inside is beyond what they could imagine. The both of them let out a small woah as they stepped foot into the church.
"You know you can make three wishes when its your first time to enter a church, they say it comes true when you do that"Y/N mentioned "You wanna give it a go?"
Sebastian nodded and he noticed how Y/N immediately closed her eyes.
'A world drivers championship. Happiness. Y/N receiving her wish' was what Sebastian prayed for.
He takes out a peek and Y/N was still in her own solemn state. Sebastian wonders what is it that she wishes for and he hopes that this three wishes thing works. He really wanted Y/N to fulfill her wishes, it will make him extremely happy.
"What did you wish for Y/N"
"Safe races, World Peace, and points for you and Mark" she answered
"Oh c'mon, you don't have things about yourself. Don't you have any personal wishes? Like your own goals or your own things?"Sebastian quizzed
Y/N knew deep down that she wanted something but she knew that saying it at the moment might not be ideal. But heaven knows, she prayed for Sebastian Vettel to stay in her life.
2009, Nürburgring
Y/N didn't mind that she was in heels, she was running as fast as she could to parc ferme. The moment that the last lap started and Mark was still leading, she immediately headed straight to the destination. Their father was already at the pits waiting with the signboard.
There was certainly a mix of emotions. Y/N's mind reel back to how Mark started pole and then had an incident with Hamilton at the start of the race. It caused him to have a penalty which lessens his chances of winning but Mark was in for a mega-drive. He managed to regain all the places that he lost from the penalty and here he is leading the Grand Prix.
Y/N felt her ears ringing as the crowd roars as the chequered flag appeared. Every speaker was blaring out the obvious, this is Mark Webber's first win in Formula 1.
People are starting to line up near the barricades. Y/N doesn't care if she was being pushed but she will be the first one to meet her brother and congratulate him once he gets out of the car.
"YOU DID IT! YOU ABSOLUTELY CRUSHED IT" Y/N screamed to Mark.
Mark did not miss his sister and immediately hugged her tight. He kept on repeating his thanks for her support and for not giving up on him. Y/N could only choke on a sob with the cameras flashing the emotional sibling moment that they shared.
"Congratulations Mark"Sebastian appeared next to him and Mark gave him a hug.
It was a happy day for the Red Bull team for securing double podiums. The whole Red Bull team cannot contain their happiness as the two walked to their podium spots. It is certainly a day that warrants a much needed night out.
So fast forward and Red Bull rented out a club to celebrate the victory of today. Y/N was certain that she deserved to let loose a little with the events that happened today.
Shots after shots, Y/N managed to drink everything up until the room started to feel a little bit wavy. It was a good thing that Sebastian has not been much of a party animal, he knew that this was Mark's time to celebrate so he won't be taking too much of a spotlight.
"You are seriously wasted, you should stop drinking now" Sebastian said, catching Y/N before she could trip in her heels.
"my brother won, can't you believe ittttt"her words are slurred.
"Yep, I'm getting you water and were going back to the hotel"
"NOOOOOO"
But Sebastian has already carried her out of the club. Sebastian knew that there are probably much more people wasted there but Sebastian was focused on Y/N. She was the reason why Sebastian decided to sober up the entire night. Knowing that Mark will be celebrating, no one will take care of Y/N.
Sebastian wanted to take care of her.
The trip to the hotel was smooth as Y/N was asleep at the car. Sebastian was giggling when he picked her up and she started rambling about how there are different kinds of beautiful in formula 1.
"But you know what's the most beautiful thing in f1 that I have seen?" she asked "Its the time where I saw Sebastian Vettel test the car"
Sebastian got curious, he didn't know that Y/N was around when he tested the car.
"And it was so dreamy. There was this beauty about him and you know he is so passionate. He isn't a paid driver or maybe he is but damnnnn the way he raced and the way he loved the wheels"Y/N rambles on.
It feels illegal for Sebastian to be hearing this and he knows he should not take advantage of Y/N's truthful drunkness to hear what she thinks about him. But somehow, Sebastian stayed with her. He tucked her in the bed and left a glass of water at the bedside table.
"Did you know Sebastian Vettel is the prettiest boy ever. He is so pretty like how the sun is so pretty to the plants" Sebastian also laughed at the comparison. Y/N was really really drunk.
"I like Sebastian"
"What?" was Sebastian's shocked question.
"I like sebastian, what sue me? I think he is a pretty pretty boy"
Sebastian feels like his heart is pounding but he has to stay cool. She is drunk right now and she might not be aware of the things she is saying.
"You get some rest, lets talk about this in the morning" Sebastian said as he left the girl.
It took every ounce of his being to prevent himself from confessing that he likes her a lot too. But Sebastian will do his confession sober. If Y/N remembers this incident then they will talk about it. If not, he will wait for the right timing to discuss the feelings he has for her.
Morning came and Y/N did not remember anything.
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loving-barnes · 7 months
Text
LOGAN HOWLETT - BABYSITTING GONE WRONG
A/N: I have a long chapter for you. Chapter NINE is up. I have put a lot of things in here. I hope you will enjoy it. Please, be patient with chapter ten. I won't have much time to write it next week. I will try, but I'm not promising it will be finished in a few days.
Pairing: Logan Howlett x mutant female reader
Warning: I have decided to not give any warnings. Please remember this story is 18+.
Summary: Charles asked Logan and Y/N to babysit the students while the rest of the staff was away for the weekend.
Please, do not read if you are under 18. This story is suitable for mature audience.
Words: 6200+
Important note: Again, Logan is a tall MF, because they fucked up in the movies. Also, Hugh Jackman!Wolverine. This is set in AU.
A TOUCH OF HOPE MASTERLIST | Chapter Eight
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LOGAN HOWLETT - BABYSITTING GONE WRONG
You killed her! It’s your fault! Murderer! You fucking sick freak! I hate you! 
Y/N opened her eyes and caught her breath. It happened again. This week, it was the third nightmare she experienced. Her mother’s face kept appearing in the dream, screaming at her. The voice, even the eyes, haunted her, filled with wrath and hatred. 
She turned to face the clock. It was 7:04 in the morning. Her forehead was sweaty, as well as the rest of her body. This nightmare was worse than before. It felt real. In her dream, Y/N’s mother held her forearm tightly. Even now, the touch on her body burnt. Y/N had to look at her left forearm just to be sure no one was holding her there. Her mind was playing tricks on her. 
When will you stop haunting me? 
The first week of her being a teacher was almost over. So far, it was fun. The classes went smoothly. The students accepted her as a teacher. It turned out the teaching kept her sane. 
After a quick shower and changing clothes, she took her textbooks and headed downstairs to the kitchen. The hallways were empty. However, she could hear the kids from their dorms getting ready. 
When she arrived in the kitchen, she was met with fresh coffee. Some pure soul made a pot of it. She grabbed a mug and poured some into it. This was an ideal way to start a new day. She took a seat on a barstool at the counter. Y/N went through the textbooks to prepare for her first lesson of the day. 
“Well, aren’t ya an early bird,” Logan’s voice startled her. 
Y/N almost choked on her coffee. She coughed a few times, then looked at the man. “If you want to choke me, just use your hand,” she frowned at him. It took her a minute to breathe normally. 
Logan’s lips turned into a devilish smile. “Is that right, princess?” and he wiggled his eyebrows. “Good to know for the future. By the way, why are you up so early? Don’t you have a class at nine?” he changed the topic. 
“Couldn’t sleep,” she looked down at the textbooks again. 
Logan walked to the counter and leaned against it. He took a deep breath. He could smell the coconut shampoo radiating from her, even her natural scent. “I heard you, you know? I know you have nightmares, Y/N.” 
“Don’t we all?” she sighed. “It’s nothing. It’ll go away.” 
“You can talk to me, you know?” Logan reached his hand and put it under her chin to lift her head. “You don’t have to face it alone.” 
“Thanks,” her eyes found his. 
Logan heard the sound of the wheelchair. He let go of Y/N’s chin and leaned back. His eyes never left her face, not even when Charles wheeled in, already dressed in a suit. This time, it was grey with a black tie.
“Ah, just the two people I need,” he said, smiling. “I am going to need a favour from you two.” Y/N’s eyes moved to the Professor, and Logan faced him. “As you know, Jean and Scott are still away with Remy and Hank. Bobby asked for a weekend away with Kitty. Kurt is leaving for Germany. I will take Peter, Ororo and Rogue to Washington again.”
“More trouble?” Y/N asked. 
Charles shook his head. “The situation has calmed down a bit. However, I need to find more information about Trask Industries. I believe they are creating a weapon that could potentially destroy us.”  
“Shit,” Logan mumbled. 
“That is why I need you to stay here,” said Charles.
“Ah, you want us to babysit, is that right?” Logan rolled his eyes. “What about Colossus?” 
“He’ll be here with you, of course. I talked to him last night.”  
“When are you leaving?” Y/N asked. 
“This afternoon. We should be back on Sunday.” 
Charles left them alone in the kitchen. Logan turned back to Y/N and raised one brow. “It seems you won’t get rid of me that easily.” 
“I am one lucky gal,” she teased. “So, is this babysitting like it means? We will keep an eye on the kids. We make sure they are in bed at a reasonable hour?” 
“Sounds about right,” Logan nodded. “Don’t plan on having a big party tonight.”
She tilted her head. “Why? You don’t like watching children have some fun? Or is it because my attention is on them, not you?” She stood up and cleaned the mug after she was done. Before she left, she brushed past him. “If you want my attention, just ask.” 
Logan smirked, eyes resting on her back. Slowly, they fell down, checking out her ass per usual. Who would have thought that he would be crushing bad on this woman? He saved her a while back, and now, they had this unspoken thing between them. She was attractive and witty. Y/N brought something into his life. She made him feel something he hadn’t felt in years. 
Fuck, he thought and fixed his pants. Suddenly, they felt tighter than before. It was eight in the morning. It was bad timing to have an erection. Logan swiftly left the kitchen and headed back to his room. 
As the day went by, Y/N realised her mind had been preoccupied by a certain someone. The desire that she had was intense. She kept thinking about his eyes, lips, and those hands caressing her body. In a way, it was funny. She was falling for the man who saved her ass. 
My knight in shining armour.
“Miss Y/L/N?” someone said her name. “Are you okay?” It was one of the students asking. 
Y/N blinked a few times. Her mind got quickly lost in a world of daydreaming. “I’m sorry,” she cleared her throat. “I was just thinking about your next assignment,” she said. The collective sigh made her laugh. “Don��t worry. I won’t give you any writing assignments now. However, I want you to read The Great Gatsby by the end of the next week.” 
Some of the boys were annoyed. It was evident that reading was not their favourite activity. There were whispers around the classroom. Y/N frowned at them. “Please, silence. I don’t want to hear another word. You are only reading a book. If you keep complaining to your classmates, I will give you something to write about.” And then everyone silenced. 
The classes with the oldest students were difficult. Their hormones were all over the place, their behaviour was atrocious, and the boys had a problem respecting everyone, even the teacher.
At the end of the school day, Y/N was walking through the hallway when a clothed arm wrapped around her shoulder. It brought her back to reality from her constant daydreaming. She glanced at the person, only to find Rogue grinning. “I’ve heard you and Logan will be babysitting the kids.” 
“With Colossus,” Y/N added. 
“That’s a minor detail,” she chuckled. “You have the perfect opportunity to make a move. You’ll have the night to yourselves.” 
Y/N frowned. “What the hell are you talking about, Ro’?” Y/N knew damn well where she was going with it. And yet she pretended to be dumb. 
“Come on,” Rogue bumped her hip against Y/N’s. “I see how you two behave to each other. Everyone sees that - the teasing, the bantering and shit. In my eyes, you’d be a perfect power couple. I think you should make a move.” 
Y/N rolled her eyes. Yes, Logan and Y/N had a playful banter going on. However, she didn’t think he felt anything more towards her. He saved her and gave her a second chance. He kept his promise. That was about it. A man like him would never want a girl like her. They knew each other only for two months. 
“Shouldn’t you be packing for the weekend?” Y/N asked Rogue. She needed to change the topic. “You should take something sexy with you. You’ll be reunited with Remy. You’ll be the one spending a hot, sexy night with your man.” 
The young woman sighed, defeated. “Why can’t you see that he likes you, too?” She had decided to omit that part about Remy.
“Rogue,” Y/N warned her. “I don’t want to talk about it. In fact, there is nothing to talk about. You should pack and get ready.” 
“This isn’t over. We will discuss this once I’m back,” Rogue threatened with a finger. 
Y/N walked up the stairs. She wanted to change her clothes into something more comfortable. The school day was over. There was no need to dress fancy. She thought about practising her forcefields. Y/N got better at creating two separate force fields at the same time. After they saved JJ, where she protected another person for the first time, she knew how to do it whenever she wanted. 
Storm usually practised with her. They tried using lighting to get through the force fields. Luckily, they were resistant. It didn’t even drain Y/N’s energy. It was fascinating.  
Y/N stretched her neck and scratched her nape. There was a foreign feeling lingering somewhere inside her mind. She couldn’t define what it was.
As she passed the second level, she was stopped by Logan again. He grabbed her by the wrist. “We meet again, princess.” 
She made a funny yet annoyed face. “For a princess, you aren’t treating me like one,” she said. “How can I help you, kind sir?” 
“Wanna have a beer with me tonight?” he asked. 
“Aren’t we supposed to be babysitting the kids?” she raised a brow, smirking. “We can’t leave the school and head to the bar. Colossus will kill us.” 
“Rules are meant to be broken,” he made a smug face. “Don’t worry, kid. I have my secret stash here. We can enjoy one after they are in their rooms, asleep.” 
“Secret stash, you say?” That piqued her interest. “Very well. I’ll see you tonight.” 
His eyes followed her as she continued up the stairs. “What are you up to now?” 
She shrugged, thinking. “I don’t know. I might do some training, maybe read a book,” she said. “I’ll see you later, Logan.” 
. . .
Y/N was on edge the whole evening. She didn’t know why. The feeling came gradually. At first, she thought she had forgotten to do something. Then, she observed the students, trying to figure out if they did something wrong. Y/N concluded that the feeling she had signified cautiousness. Otherwise, the time she had spent with the kids was fun. 
They all gathered in a lounge room where they talked and laughed. Colossus joined them. He listened to their stories and amusing memories. Colossus even chimed in about his memories. The kids laughed, which only made him smile. 
Logan kept his distance and observed from afar here and there. He didn’t join the talk, even when he noticed Y/N’s pleading look. He leaned against the wall, arms crossed, while listening to the shared stories. 
Overall, it was a pleasant Friday evening with the students. By ten in the evening, they were all in their rooms. Y/N walked through the hallways, checking if everyone settled down for the night. Even Colossus headed to bed, saying how exhausted he was. 
Once Y/N was sure everyone was in their room, she headed downstairs into the kitchen. Her neck was sore after the long day. She stretched her head to every side, trying to find relief. When Y/N entered the kitchen, Logan sat behind a counter with two beer bottles. He was wearing a red flannel shirt and a white tank top. 
That fucker. 
The man eyed her from head to toe, trying not to stare much. Did she want to kill him with that outfit? She wore denim shorts and a loose T-shirt. “Fucking finally,” said Logan after he cleared his throat. “Were you avoiding me, princess?” he kinked a brow. 
“You think so low of me,” she said and sat on a barstool next to him. “Because you had decided to disappear and Colossus was tired, I had to ensure the students were in their rooms.” She grabbed a bottle. It was cold. Quickly, she pressed it against her neck and moaned a little. 
“You okay?” he asked, taking a swig. 
“I don’t know,” she said. “Something feels off. Also, my neck hurts.” She drank straight from the bottle, enjoying the cold beverage.  
Without thinking, Logan reached for her neck. His fingers pressed into her skin. When he realised what he had done, it was too late. Luckily, Y/N closed her eyes and sighed with pleasure. If she were a cat, she’d purr. Her lips were slightly parted. She enjoyed the touch. Once he was done, he asked, “Better?” 
“Damn, I’d hire you as a full-time personal masseuse,” she joked. When she looked at him, her eyes met his. A shiver ran down her spine. “Tell me, what do you do when you are asked to babysit the students?” 
“Before you came, I’d have a drink and head to bed. When Bobby was a student, there were nights when we would talk here in the kitchen. The kids here know what they aren’t allowed to do. When we ask them to remain in rooms, they will listen,” he explained. 
A tiny smile appeared on Y/N’s face. Her eyes moved to the beer bottle, where she scanned the label. “By the way, JJ loves lessons with you,” she changed the topic. “He loves history and says you are awesome.” 
“He said that?” Logan seem surprised. “I like that kid.” 
Y/N pressed two fingers between the bridge of her nose, frowning. A long sigh escaped her lips. “Shit, I can’t figure out what’s wrong today.” 
“What do you mean?” 
“Ah,” she leaned against her arms, eyes closed. “Do you have that feeling, somewhere deep inside, when you know that something’s not right?” When Logan confirmed, she continued. “I have had this feeling since this afternoon. My gut is calling to me, screaming something is off.” 
“Is it the students? Have they said anything?” he asked. Logan wanted to help her figure it out. 
She turned her head to look at him again. For a second, her eyes slipped to his lips. “I have crossed out every box in my head,” Y/N’s eyes were back on his. “The students are well. Jerome is happy,” she started to list it all out loud. “I have done everything that was required of me. I don’t know.” 
“I think you are exhausted after this week. You’ve become a teacher. It might have taken a toll on you.” Logan’s voice was softer than usual. “Maybe it is rest that you need.” 
“Maybe,” she said. Once she finished the drink, she stood up and walked to the kitchen counter. “I feel some exhaustion,” Y/N admitted. “I’m not convinced that’s it.” She reached for a glass and filled it with cold water. She faced the man and leaned against the counter when she drank the water. “I feel like something terrible is about to happen,” Y/N admitted. 
Logan was immediately on his feet. He walked to Y/N, scanning her face. “What if you are overly anxious?” he asked carefully. “I believe you need to go to bed and rest. You had an intense week.” 
“What if,” she said suddenly, “something’s heading towards us?” 
His ears perked up at her comment. With a snap of fingers, Logan’s face hardened. “You think something dangerous could be coming our way?” He came closer to the woman, feeling her body heat radiating. 
“Think about it,” Y/N’s eyes locked with his. “Charles took everyone to Washington. At this time, they are all already there. It would take them longer to get back here. It’s just the two of us and Colossus. What if…” she stopped talking. 
A chill ran down Logan’s spine. The thought of them becoming targets again made him tense. In the past, he experienced attacks on school. It wouldn’t be anything new. And yet, it was terrifying. 
“I don’t know,” Y/N shook her head. “I don’t want to think negatively and draw something to us. Or I’m just being paranoid.” 
Logan smiled at her reassuringly. He put a hand on her left shoulder. “We’ll be alright. The school has a security system. Once it is triggered, the students know what to do and where to hide. If some sort of attack does occur, we will fight. Until then, let’s try not to worry about these hypothetical scenarios.” 
“You are right,” she sighed for the hundredth time. “My mind is running thousands of miles an hour. Nothing’s going to happen. Let’s just enjoy this evening.” 
A smile appeared on her face. Y/N wanted to say something more, but her mind went blank when she felt Logan’s hand move from her shoulder to her cheek, stroking it gently. His body was closer than usual. For a second, Y/N forgot how to breathe. There was a shift in the air. His gentle touch made her heat rise in her body. She was taken aback by it at all. 
Logan’s touch was tender. His thumb kept stroking her skin lightly. The desire was rising on both sides. Neither of them tried to push away. There was something unspoken between them. It was there for some time. Maybe it was the right time to lean into it and explore.
Y/N thought that he would never feel the same way she did. In her mind, Logan saw her as someone he saved some time ago. But this showed her that he felt the same way. Her breath got caught in her throat. The air vibrated with an intensity of desire. The unspoken words between them became heavier. 
Logan took a step forward. His body pressed lightly against her. His other hand found her waist, where he placed it lightly. It felt right. For some time, this was what he wanted, and now, he was only one move away from getting it.
“Logan,” she whispered, eyes never leaving his face. They moved from his eyes to his lips and back. 
“Y/N,” he whispered back. Her name sounded so beautiful coming from his lips. 
They were a breath away from each other. Neither of them were able to close the gap. It took them a few heartbeats before they both leaned it. This was the sign that they both wanted the same thing. 
They met in the middle, lips pressing in their first kiss. There was no time to test the water. The first kiss was heated - all tongue and teeth. The passion ignited with a fiery intensity. Logan’s body fully pressed against Y/N’s. She could feel his semi-hard erection pressed against her lower belly. 
Logan’s hands explored her body. One hand held her by the neck while the other travelled down to her ass that he squeezed. It made her groan into his mouth, which gave him better access to his tongue to explore her mouth. Y/N’s hands were pressed against his hard chest, gripping the white tank top. 
Suddenly, he grabbed he by the waist and lifted her on the kitchen counter. Logan stepped between her legs, and she instantly wrapped them around his waist. The kiss never ended. They wanted more. Y/N’s hand gripped his hair and pulled on it, making him moan. Her other hands explored his chest and firm abs over that damn piece of clothing. 
They lost themselves in a world of desire. Logan’s mouth left her lips only to explore her neck and collarbones. He couldn’t get enough of her. His right hand slipped under her t-shirt. The feeling of her soft skin was incredible. His fingers caressed the flesh under her breast. 
“Fuck, princess,” he grunted when he caught a breath for a second. His lips were then back on her in another heated make-out session. 
Y/N grabbed his unbuttoned flannel shirt and took it off him. It fell on the floor under his feet. Her mind was filled with his musky scent. She could smell the beer and a faint hint of cigars. However, it only made her want him more. 
“Eager, aren’t we?” he asked with a laugh when he managed to pull away to look at her face. Her lips were a bit swollen from all the kissing.
“You are the one talking,” she said back. “If we want to continue this, I don’t think it’s wise to do it in the kitchen,” she raised a brow. “We don’t need a traumatised kid on our necks.”
Logan laughed at that. And then, his lips were on her again. This time, the kisses got softer. He took his time with each one he pressed against her lips. Their eyes closed. These kisses were different. They were filled with something new. It wasn’t hunger or desire. It was more intimate. As if they tried to tell they cared for each other. 
Y/N’s fingers reached for his big belt. She started to fiddle with it when he stopped her. She raised a brow. Did she cross a line?
The kissing stopped. Logan turned his head to the side and listened. His ears could register sounds that a regular person wouldn’t hear, not even Y/N. His hand gripped her exposed thigh, and he looked into her gorgeous eyes. “Fuck. Helicopters,” he said. 
“What?” she raised her voice, concerned. She turned her head to the window, trying to hear for herself. They were far away.
Logan pushed away from her and walked to the other side of the kitchen. Y/N’s gut warned them. “They knew we’d be here alone this night,” he mumbled under his nose. “It’s a trap!” He pressed a button that was hidden in a strategic place. It was a silent trigger. “Charles built a trigger system in every dorm. This will ensure everyone wakes up and heads to the tunnels.” 
Y/N hopped off the counter. She wanted to ask about it, but there was no time. Logan reached for her hand, which she grabbed, and they left the kitchen running. “Oh no. My gut was right about this,” she groaned. “I called this upon us.” 
When they arrived in the main hallway, they heard the students from the upper levels running around the hallways. Colossus’s deep voice was heard, too. He was giving the instructions to the students.
“There are strategic tunnels that will lead them out of the school and into a secure location,” Logan explained.
Y/N’s heart was beating fast. Finally, she registered the sounds of helicopters nearing the school. She squeezed his hand tightly one more time before letting it go. “So we fight,” she sighed. 
“We fight,” he nodded. “There’s no time to run.” 
They heard the sound of shattering glass. Someone breached in through the windows. Several footsteps were heard around the building. Soldiers. Logan and Y/N shared a look before they separated. 
Logan’s claws were out, ready to kill anyone who dared to approach him. He could heal, and Y/N could protect herself with forcefields. However, he hated they separated. The evening started promising, and it was ruined by some fuckers who had the desire to attack the school. 
Y/N ran outside the main entrance before soldiers could tear down the door. She formed a forcefield around herself to protect her body. She felt how her energy shifted. The shield she had created felt different. When she collided with the first body, the soldier screamed in agonising pain, and he flew away. All the bullets fired at her were absorbed into it. 
When she looked out, she realised at least six military helicopters had flown to the school, filled with soldiers. What the fuck was happening? While she kept herself hidden inside the force field, she created a ball that she threw at a group of soldiers, hurting them. 
Y/N’s eyes noticed the symbol on the helicopters. Trask. Holy mother of god! They wanted mutants, and this was the perfect place to get them. More gunshots were heard from the inside of the school, with Logan’s roaring. She could only imagine the bloodbath happening inside. It was amusing how the evening went from passionate kissing to fighting for their lives. 
More soldiers tried to take her down. Y/N was faster, and the shield got powerful with more determination to finish this. As if it wasn’t enough, it started to rain heavily. No wonder it was a week before Halloween, and autumn was in full mode. 
She didn’t mind the water or the cold air. Her adrenaline kept her warm. More soldiers surrounded her, aiming their guns at her. Y/N kept herself protected with her power, not giving them a window to shoot. It sucked. There were only two of them and dozens of soldiers. 
For a moment, Y/N thought that they would be able to defeat them. But the moment Logan’s painful roaring came from her side, her heart dropped to the ground. At least seven soldiers had him restrained with a collar around his neck. They even put him on a leash so he wouldn’t escape. That damn collar. It took away his power. 
“No,” she gasped. 
“Halt!” someone shouted. All soldiers ceased fire, yet the guns remained ready to shoot. 
The men who captured Logn had brought him down on his knees. The rain soaked through his clothes and hair, and there was a bloody wound on his right shoulder. It wasn’t healing.  
A laugh got her attention. It sounded so familiar that it brought goosebumps to Y/N’s skin. Her eyes widened in shock. The woman turned her head to the voice. She forgot how to breathe. 
“Look who’s crossed my path again,” said the female voice. 
This voice haunted Y/N in her nightmares. She dryly gulped, eyes never leaving the person who approached the front line. “Mother.” 
Logan gasped when he heard Y/N say that. “What the fuck?” he gasped for air. The woman in charge was Y/N’s own mother? What a sick, twisted joke!
The leader of this group was an older woman in her late fifties. She had grey hair pinned in a low bun. She was dressed in a military outfit with a raincoat over it. It protected her uniform from the rain. Why the fuck was she dressed like a soldier? What the fuck was going on? 
Y/N’s head was screaming questions. She was shocked. She forgot to keep herself behind the protective veil. It suddenly disappeared, making her vulnerable. It was painful to see her mother standing with the company that wanted to get rid of mutants. Y/N killed her little sister, the youngest daughter. Of course, her mother would desire to see all mutants burn in hell. 
“Why the fuck are you here?” Y/N spat.
The woman grinned. “I came here to collect you and bring you back to where you belong - the lab.” Her voice was strict. When Y/N made a confused and disgusted face, her mother continued. “Don’t act surprised. I know everything about you. I know what happened to you when you escaped the lab in Salem.” 
“What?” Y/N lowered her voice, confused. How was it possible?
The woman’s eyes moved to Logan. She laughed like a devil. “And we got the animal as well.”
Y/N’s fists clenched. “He’s not an animal,” she growled. “How the fuck do you know everything?” 
“You think I’d let the murderer that killed my baby get away from me? Oh, honey, don’t be naive,” she said darkly. “I had my eyes on you since I joined Trask Industries and discovered that you became a lab rat.” 
Logan was fuming. He tried to pull on the restraints to get away and run to Y/N. Hell, he would kill for her. That only got him a punishment. They pressed a stick to his side, sending shockwaves to his body. He screamed in pain and fell to the ground. Without his healing ability, he was vulnerable. 
“If you are wondering how I know you’d be here, it’s simple,” Y/N’s mother sang. “I knew you’d get the boy. The scientists in the lab informed me that you got attached to him. Disgusting, considering you like killing children. With that knowledge, we knew you’d try to save him. I must admit, for a moment, we lost faith that you’d show up. We were about to get the boy back to our main facility when you decided to rescue him with that thing,” she pointed at Logan. 
Y/N shook her head in disbelief. “No, it doesn’t make sense. How…?” 
“We have eyes everywhere,” the woman said. “I’d do everything to get the child murderer back where she belongs. In a cage, slowly torturing her to death. That is what you deserve.”
“It was an accident,” Y/N’s voice broke. Her insides were shaking. “I’d never hurt her on purpose. She was my sister.”
The older woman scoffed. “Do not speak of her! Don’t you dare talk about my baby girl! Murder is not an accident. I thought that after all these years, you’d be dead - that the experiments would kill you. And here you are, alive at this damn school for mutants. It’s disgusting.” 
Y/N’s nerves were on the verge of exploding. The force fields glitched around her a few times. “You are the disgusting one. You come here to threaten us. Tell me why you are here. What do you want?” Her whole body was shivering. It was the mixture of cold and emotions bubbling inside. The rain didn’t stop. It got heavier. 
“I came here for you, to take you where you belong. I want the little mutants for our experiments to create a weapon that would annihilate you.” The woman’s head snapped to a few soldiers that came out of the building. She frowned at them. They came out empty-handed. “Where are the mutants?” she hissed. 
One soldier saluted. “They are all gone. The school’s empty,” he announced. 
“Shit,” she cursed. “What do you mean gone?” 
“They must have escaped.” 
Y/N exhaled, glad that the children were with Colossus somewhere safe. Now, she needed to ensure Logan would get out of the collar. 
Y/N’s mother rolled her eyes, clearly annoyed by the outcome. She had to think about something else. That’s why Y/N had made a decision in her head for her. “Take me and leave him,” she pointed at Logan. “You want me. You can have me.” 
“No!” Logan protested on the wet, muddy ground. Another stick got pressed to his body, and he got zapped again. 
“Oh, honey, that’s not how this works,” she tsked. “You’ll both come with me. I don’t care if you are alive or not. Your body is coming with me back to the lab.” 
There was a radiating energy flowing through Y/N’s body. It was new, unfamiliar. But it felt good. Her left hand flew up where Logan was held. She put a protective veil around him. It then expanded, making all soldiers fly away from his wounded body. They screamed in excruciating pain. Afterwards, the force field never disappeared. 
There was a sound of a gunshot, followed by a stinging pain in her right shoulder. She gasped, cursing loudly. Y/N forgot to protect herself. Her eyes fell down to the wound, seeing a lot of blood. That’s when she noticed a blue and silver hue around the gash. It helped to close the bleeding. That never happened before. Did her mutation evolve? 
Three deep breaths. Three exhales. Y/N’s left hand fell, yet the force field remained around Logan. She kept it on with her mind. Her eyes drifted to her mother. She raised both hands up as a sign of giving up. 
“Drop the shield,” her mother called. 
“No,” she spat back. “You can have me, not Logan. He’ll stay protected until my last breath.” 
“Cuff her!” her mother gave a barking order. 
That’s what Y/N was waiting for. Her ears tried to focus on the other sounds. It was difficult with the pouring rain. The clinging sound of handcuffs and that damn collar was closer to her ear. If they wanted a fight, she would give them one. She used everything she had learnt and decided to use those skills to defend herself. 
The second a man got closer, she punched him straight in the nose with her elbow. She turned around, bringing his head down to hit his face with her knee. Once more shooting started, she created a force field to protect her. Again, all she needed was to use her mind. 
Y/N reached for a shotgun the soldier had. Instead of shooting another man, she smashed him with the gun, using all her power, into his head. He spun in the air and landed face-first in the muddy grass. While being preoccupied with several more soldiers, Logan’s body was still protected. 
He watched her from afar, breathing heavily. He never saw her kick ass like this. Was it inappropriate of him to think it was hot? As much as he wanted to help, all he could do was watch. He lost his ability to take out his claws and to heal. There was nothing he could do now. His eyes glanced at the beautiful force field surrounding his body. This happened to him for the first time. It was mesmerising.
“Blow this place up!” The woman in charge shouted at her men. It seemed she gave up on taking Y/N or Logan with them. She turned on her heel while more soldiers tried to take down Y/N. 
During Y/N’s inattention, when she was focused more on snapping a man’s neck, the shield glitched, and she got shot again. “Fuck!” she screamed. This time, the wound got through her abdomen. It stung for a few seconds until the pain faded away. There was crimson red blood on her T-shirt. 
“Y/N!” Logan screamed her name when he saw the bullet get her. His stopped beating for a moment. 
“Retreat! Retreat!” the soldiers shouted. 
Logan watched as they went back into the helicopters. Some men were lying around, dead. Y/N just got the last soldier who was on her neck. She broke his arms, grabbed his gun and shot him in the head. “Shit,” Logan gasped when he saw that. He never would have expected to see her kill someone like that. Logan managed to sit up and slowly got rid of the handcuffs. He wanted to take down the collar. He fiddled with it, pulling on it. Nothing happened. 
Y/N tried to catch her breath after the fight was done. She turned around to see the helicopters up in the air. “You fucking bitch!” she shouted angrily at her mother. “One day, I will get you and kill you with my bare hands!” The nerves got the best of her. Afterwards, she fell on her knees, tired. The veil around Logan disappeared.
Her whole body was wet. The rain never stopped. She blinked a few times, trying to regain control of her body. When she raised her eyes up, she found one helicopter in the air, facing the school. Her stomach dropped. Blow this place up. 
Two missiles were shot directly at the school. Y/N’s mother gave the order to destroy a place that Y/N started to call home. It was a sanctuary, a second chance for young mutants. Only a monster would want to take that away from them. Then and there, she knew what she had to do. 
With all the energy inside of her, she raised her arms in the air and created the largest force field ever. It spread around her, Logan and stretched up in the air, surrounding the entire complex. It looked like northern lights if they were silver and blue. When the missiles hit the shield, they blew up with such intensity Y/N started to scream from the top of her lungs. She could feel it all. The explosion was massive. The ground underneath her feet shook. 
Blood started to drip out of her nose. It covered her T-shirt and dripped on the grass. She held the shield up until the fire from the explosion eased. Y/N’s started to spin. There was some last energy streaming through her veins. She pushed the force field forward. It hit the closest helicopters, and they got destroyed in the air. More explosions followed. 
It was over. The protective veil disappeared. The school was saved, soldiers were killed, but her mother got away. 
Y/N’s body fell on the wet grass like a rag doll. The blood never stopped coming out of her nose. She drained all her energy. The last thing she saw was the dark sky above her head.
“Y/N!” Logan shouted. “Y/N!” His legs brought her to her unconscious body. He got on his knees and brought her into his arms. He stroked her face with his fingers, observing the blood-covered lips, chin and T-shirt. 
Did he lose her? Was she dead? When he pressed two fingers on her neck where there was a pulse point, he couldn’t feel any. Logan started to panic. “No, no, no,” he repeated, eyes filling his tears. “Come on, princess. Don’t die on me,” he growled. “We have some unfinished business.” And then he felt it. There was a pulse. Her heart was still beating. 
The rain calmed down. The air got colder. Logan remained with Y/N on the grass. His eyes found the bloody spots - one was on her shoulder, the other on the abdomen. His fingers caressed the place on the shoulder. He was shocked to see no wound. How was it possible? There was blood around it.
His eyes noticed a weird movement on her body. He saw her veins radiating as her force field would. No, it was not the veins. It was her skin, glowing. A silver and blueish hue was sparkling around her body. “What the fuck?” he whispered. 
He remembered when he saw her irises change colour. The natural colour was gone. It changed to a silvery one. The same was happening on her skin.
Logan got Y/N into his arms, holding her bridal style. He walked with her into the school, where he could provide her warmth. Also, he would call the rest of the X-men for help. He had to believe Charles already knew what had happened. 
Her gut was warning her. It screamed something was off. And it was right. What Logan didn’t expect to meet Y/N’s fucked up mother, who worked for Trask Industries. They couldn’t predict an attack on the school.
Logan put Y/N’s body on the nearest sofa in the lounge room and sat on the floor. The bleeding wound on his body was painful. He wanted to clean it and patch himself. However, he couldn’t leave her side. Stupid collar. With it on his neck, he wasn’t able to heal. 
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