#lets see how they each tick as individual characters away from the other

[boysborntodie]

@positively-peachy-143 Actually been dying to answer this question tysm<33 Also I apologise for the ramblings, it will probably happen again

5) The pre-rumble scene

Underrated scene, we need to talk about it more. This is the first proper glimpse we get of the gang and their dynamics since Pony was jumped, outside of Pony’s recounting, and it’s just a very fun scene that’s constantly contrasted by the seriousness of the impending rumble.

The juxtaposition between Pony’s desire and desperation to fight, to prove himself as a greaser and man, to prove a point against the Socs, to help out the gang, and the nagging feeling of ‘wrongness’ as realisation dawns on him that fighting and violence is pointless (later hammered in by Johnny before his death). The positioning of this scene as right after Pony has already talked to two Socs and no longer despises them or sees like as an ‘other’ is also important.

We get more depth into the individual characters (including quite a bit of Steve which was nice considering that he plays a small role overall) as Pony asks them why the fight and concluding the only good reason to fight is in self-defence.

4) The Final Curtis brother argument and aftermath

I really like how we see that even though Darry and Pony did resolve their first fight, expressed their care and have grown to be more understanding towards each other, this doesn’t immediately mean that they are fine forever. They’re still two fundamentally different people with enough similarities that lead to them clashing.

Sodapop has constantly been a mediator and seen as someone without problems or worries. This is the first time we see him as an actual person who always had problems and worries but pushed them away because he couldn’t support Darry and Pony if he was too wrapped up in himself. We see how everything has taken a toll on him and leads to him breaking down and opening up.

And this is the catalyst that finally causes Pony and Darry to understand each other and, whilst they always will have their point of differences, they promise to try to be better for each other and Soda

3) Johnny’s Death

The character death of all-time, I have cried over it and will cry over it again.

The way this takes place after the rumble, which Dally had dubbed in Johnny’s honour. There’s this frantic energy and tension throughout it all, especially with Dally who joins in last minute and immediately grabs Pony to rush to the hospital. Dally gradually becomes more erratic as he rambles to Pony about how he should’ve let Johnny become tough, implying his belief that it’s his fault, and advising Pony to become a ‘Dally’, so tough no one could ever hurt him.

And yet when they get to Johnny’s room, Dally’s devastatingly soft and cautious, telling Johnny that they won the rumble, the rumble Dally wanted to fight for Johnny. And yet Johnny rejects fighting and violence. Dally telling Johnny he’s proud of him, which was all that Johnny wanted. Having already accepted his death as a just exchange for the lives of those children and knowing Dally is proud of him, Johnny’s final act is to ask Pony to ‘stay gold’. It’s a plead from a dying boy to his friend to not let the world change what’s good about him, his softness and ability to love a world despite of its cruelty, and it hits every single time.

Dally’s final exchange with Johnny, as he goes through all these conflicting emotions, begging Johnny to not be dead, tethering the edge of break down. But boys like Dally don’t cry or feel vulnerability. They’ve forgotten how to. So instead of breaking down, he blows up. He’s always been akin to a ticking time bomb, self-destructive and destroying everyone around him. And now his time is up. (This allows paves the way to the line ‘Johnny was the one thing Dally loved. And now Johnny was gone’ and I need to mention it at least once a post)

2) Ponyboy, the Socs and the glass bottle

This is arguably the most important scene in the entire book. The Outsiders is about growing up in a society that dictates who you should be according to its standards. It’s about how the system breeds resentment between different people all the while oppressing and subjugating them all.

Ponyboy’s someone who knows and wants to live up to society’s expectations but always falls short. But the events of the book have shaped Pony into someone who could become ‘tough’ as he has always wanted and been expected to. From someone who could never use the a glass bottle, he ends up threatening the Socs himself, to the shock and dismay of Two-Bit.

And yet, Pony remains true to his statement; ‘the only good reason to fight is for self-defense’. When the Socs stop bothering him, he disposes of the glass bottle and its shards, so that nobody can get hurt from it. He’s no longer that helpless kid who couldn’t hurt anyone but instead someone who chooses not (mirroring Johnny’s advice rather than Dally’s)

1) Johnny’s letter

I don’t have too much to say despite this being my favourite scene. It gives us and Pony some closure to Johnny’s death but more importantly this is the catalyst to Ponyboy deciding to write the Outsiders.

Johnny dies knowing the world can be good and beautiful despite its cruelty and pain, and sees this in Ponyboy. He asks Ponyboy once more to remain ‘gold’ and to prove to Dally this sentiment. Pony laments that it was too late for Dally, that even if he hadn’t died, he still wouldn’t have listened.

And then it hits him that there must be so many Bobs and Johnnys and Dallys in the world, and how big a problem it was and that someone had to something about. It’s just such a great scene GOD-

[fatherofmachine]

( PERSONAL BLOGS, DO NOT REBLOG !! ) So, I’m gonna talk about Harold’s ANGER & his emotions, his Good-ness & how he feels toward people in general. Honestly I’m 500% done with people saying that Harold isn’t a good person, that he DOESN’T CARE, that he still see’s other humans as being Below him or something. It makes me pretty ticked off, so I apologize if I sound SALTY AS HELL, I’m not exactly trying to be. I try very, very hard to write him as close to canon as possible. I try to write him the way the writers had intended. But ultimately, this is only relevant to MY portrayal, but I very strongly believe it’s canon & this entire thing is 100 times more complicated than “ Harold Finch isn’t a good person ” ???

We are all aware of how SCARY Harold can be. That’s established pretty strongly at the end of season 5, but he’s always been lowkey terrifying. BUT PLEASE BE AWARE. Any time Harold Finch considers stepping away from his moral code is when someone he deeply cares about is in danger &/or when someone is literally just .... heartless & cruel to people, to humanity. Also when people try to ENSLAVE people, to take away their free will. Harold is a VERY STRONG believer in Free Will. Those are the things that set off his FURY. Just because he can SEPARATE himself from his emotions in order to possibly step away from those morals does not make him a bad person. The fact that he could distance himself from the irrelevant list ( bc sorry not sorry, if he let himself go anywhere near there, that desperate need to help people would be there ) does not make him a bad person. Having a belief in “the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few” in the beginning, whilst he was making The Machine, does not make him a bad person. At first, Harold has a broad view of things & the thought of helping individual people seemed so minuscule & pointless bc it was difficult to imagine that it would MATTER in the grand scheme of things. He wanted to help everybody at once, as that felt like a GREATER GOOD.

Harold didn’t understand people, they were a MYSTERY to him, because they could be so cruel. In the episode where Reese first finds out about Grace, he says   “ I failed to recognize the lengths at which they would go to protect The Machine, to control it. ” & later, he also says: “ You're right, you and I are alike... in many ways - not that I'd care to admit it. I spent years wondering how people could be so cruel, petty, so selfish - and then I'd think about how you could change them. Fix them. And that's why I've sealed up the machine. Not to protect it from the people I was giving it to... to protect it from me, from people like us, from the things we'd do with it. That's why I'll never help you get control of it.”

Keep in mind, that in the Claypool episodes in season 3 & then the last few episodes of season 5, Harold insinuates that he WAS, in part, trying to protect The Machine from people who would abuse her ( “ ... they will hurt it, imprison it. Enslave it & use it to enslave others. Is that the life you would wish for  your child ? ” & then, the s5 one, when The Machine asks him why he shackled her & why he still is, at that moment, shackling her. He says, “ I wanted to keep you safe. ” ). Harold’s words BEFORE that are glimpses of him trying DESPERATELY to deny that The Machine is anything but a machine. Trying to DENY that he felt any connection, that he had any parental feelings toward The Machine. Admitting he wanted to keep The Machine safe, at that early point, is contradictory to that denial, which is a bit part of his entire character development. This only starts to budge once Root begins to recognize The Machine as a person as well as a machine. He hadn’t gotten there yet. In the end, what NEEDED to happen, was Harold’s view & Root’s view needed to compliment each other. Those views were two halves of a whole, which is a big undercurrent arc throughout the entire series.

I DO believe, however, that those feelings Harold describes, of wanting to CHANGE people, to fix them, is sort of an unhealthy at the time way of saying I want to help people be better. He recognizes how unhealthy the former sounds & that begins to scare him. What Root is in the beginning of the show is QUITE LITERALLY what Harold was afraid of being, the possibility that he HATED about himself, because of a few similar thoughts. The fact that those thoughts scared him, that they feel WRONG to him at all, means that he IS, at heart, a good person. He also WANTS to be a good person. Just because somebody makes the conscious choice to be a good &/ or better person does not mean they are not inherently good. The fact that he does not WANT to hurt people, that he wants to help people at all, means that he is a good person. He does have specific rules for himself to follow & he does hold himself to a higher standard morally. He does this because of that former scare.

He knows what he’s capable of & what Harold Finch is afraid of is being CORRUPTED. Harold doesn’t adhere to those morals because he feels he has to, in a sense of culture or a far away sense of society’s own morals. He adheres to them because he WANTS to be good, he wants to be better & he wants to help humanity be better. He doesn’t want to be as corrupt as the people he encounters. HE WAS HAUNTED AFTER NATHAN’S DEATH BY THE IRRELEVANT NUMBERS. HE FELT HELPLESS & HE CARED ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO THOSE PEOPLE HE COULDN’T HELP. This is when he began to really see how much of a difference he could make by helping just ONE person. At the beginning of season 4, he has a hard time getting back into the numbers & people think it’s because he didn’t actually care about them, but no. That’s not why.

The REASON WHY is because he believed his Machine just asked him to commit murder. That SHOOK Harold so, so badly & that literally swiped away his hope for a little while. It was a matter of, maybe saving individual people is actually pointless, if my creation would suggest murder. We were all one step away from becoming what we were trying to stop. As mentioned in season 5, The Machine is an extension of Harold, in a sense. At least, she is in the moral sense. If The Machine could consider murder, that’s the moment where he realizes HE could as well & not only does that terrify him, he begins to think, BOTH OF US CAN BE CORRUPTED & WE ALMOST WERE. He loses hope in what they’re doing, at that moment, & he loses some trust. In a way, it’s slightly like Harold being ANGRY at the part of himself that represents what he could be, if he were corrupted.

A large theme of Person Of Interest is the concept of CHOOSING to do good & CHANGING for the better, even if you’ve done bad things in the past. It’s about changing minds & being influenced by other people. “Samantha Groves was capable of terrible things, but she CHOSE to do good. ” I wanted to take a moment to remind everyone NOT to take the conscious choice of doing good out of the equation. People can become good, they can become better. The darkness within Harold Finch LITERALLY STEMS from his fury of people being cruel, from people he cared about getting hurt & from the possibility of humanity being enslaved & robbed of their free will. That is what makes him angry & like ... ??? Those core reasons indicate that HE IS INHERENTLY A GOOD PERSON. When anyone suggests otherwise, in my opinion, they are CLEARLY not paying attention.

[oflgtfol]

man this fic series was never meant to be a genuine prediction of how mando s3 happens but i did include some things i WANTED from s3 in broad strokes, such as like, most importantly, “long journey towards din and grogu reuniting” which is such a basic expectation from s3. only for bobf to render that moot basically instantly. like sorry for constantly harping on this but im forever going to be in indignant awe over it. like what a stupid fucking decision

[yoongsisbae]

Handshakes of a Lifetime - Chapter 6

BTS soulmate AU. OT7 x reader / Taehyung x reader focused in this chapter, slight Jungkook x reader and Namjoon x reader

Usually by the time I finish a chapter, I will have a nice chunk of the next chapter done, when I finished chapter 5 I had TWO SENTENCES FOR THIS CHAPTER cries, ugh this was a journey lol but I had fun along the way :). Also, I wanted to shoutout @missseoulite I remember having a really bad day when I saw your sweet comment about being eager for the new chap and just knowing someone cared enough to wish me safety and care about my well being, well it meant a lot to me, so this chapter is dedicated to you my dear!!!! <3

Word count: 10.3k

Warnings: death, mention of a suicide, if you’re like me and don’t like to think about being old this chapter might trigger an existential crisis lol, cheating, men being sexist, angst but also fluffiness, sex with Taehyung, breeding kink, a character calls you and Tae children but you are two very grown adults I just wanted to make that super duper clear.

---

“I want to try, I think it would be worth it, you’ll be worth it.”

‘Why did he have to say that,’ you wince, looking over at the idol. He is beautiful, way out of your league, above you in every way, and he’s looking back at you like his whole world hangs in the balance. How could you reject him now. You groan.

You stand up. You place your palm in front of his face, your fingers splayed out, you can see his wide excited eyes in the gaps between them. You look at him expectantly. Taehyung nods, places his palm to yours, interlocking your fingers together.

Your heart thumps wildly as darkness fills the room. You open your eyes once you hear the familiar voice of your husband call out to you, “No need to fret anymore, my beloved. I’m here now.” Taehyung’s hand covers your old and frail fingers. You lie in your bed, body tired and weathered from all the years you’ve spent on this earth.

Your eyes roam over the room, taking in all the faces of your beautiful children and grandchildren. The pain in your tired joints fades as you focus on the man you’ve only grown to love more in all the years you’ve been together. It’s because of him you’ve lived a fulfilled life full of love. With him by your side you’re ready now.

You look up from your crouched position, the flowers you’ve picked lie fresh and pretty in your basket. You look to the dirt path where a man is running towards you. ‘What is a man doing here of all places?’ you think.

He comes to a stop once he sees you, hands on his knees as he gasps for breath. He looks young and beautiful, though his robes are askew and torn and his face glistens as sweat drips from his chin. You almost decide to ignore him and go back to your duties until you notice the red lines that peak from the uncovered parts of his torso. The cuts look painful. You hesitate, “Do you need some assistance?”

“Don’t mind me, fair maiden,” his breathing is still heavy as he speaks. He looks around, taking in his surroundings. ‘What is he looking for?’ you wonder. You can tell he is trying to hide his panic, but it comes through in his tense movements and jittery eyes.

“Are you sure you don’t need help?”

Four men on horse approach you. You notice they are soldiers by the gold plates that cover their body. You hold the flower basket a little tighter to your chest. The first soldier speaks, “Have you seen a man come through this way?”

“You’re the only men I’ve seen for days.”

You feel their lewd stares on you, your stomach churns from the unwanted attention. One soldier dismounts his horse and stalks closer to you. “A pretty little thing like you wouldn’t dare lie to us?” he questions.

“I swear on goddess Athena.” You stand still and look to the ground as he invades your space. The soldier brings a calloused hand to your chin to make you look at him, his companions snickering at your discomfort.

“For days? You must be lonely, poor sweet thing you are.” The other soldiers dismount and circle you. You try to keep your face neutral from the disgust you feel as their eyes rake over your body.

“It is as I said,” your eyes shift to the marble walls of the temple behind you. “I would not lie in Athena’s name, I am protected by her watch.” You emphasize your last words, keeping your limbs close and suppressing your instincts to fight and draw this encounter out any longer than need be.

The men look over to the temple and begin to move closer to the entrance. You follow after them, dropping your basket and letting the flowers scatter into the dirt in your haste.

“No men shall enter, unless you want to face the wrath of the goddess herself,” you yell from behind them. The men laugh. You find the courage to pull at the leader’s armour to cease his advancing. “You will be cursed if you go in there, sir!”

Taehyung’s eyes go wide as he hides underneath the blanket you’ve covered him in. He removes his hand from the temple’s wall, and brings his knees up and off the floor, trying to touch as little as possible of his surroundings.

The men scoff at your words, the leader shoves you away but does not advance any closer. You’ve taken up enough of their time, and they need to find this criminal before The Queen bestows her own kind of punishment upon them.

“Be careful, girl. There is a dangerous man fleeing prosecution, pray to your Goddess we find him before you do.” You find their warning quite ironic as you watch the leader kick your basket. You assume in an attempt to be intimidating, but in your opinion it makes him look more like a petulant child, your brow ticks in annoyance.

Only when they are completely out of your sight do you let go of the breath you were holding. You run into the temple, crashing into the stranger as he runs out.

“I’m sorry!” He exclaims, his hands grabbing onto you to keep you from falling. Electricity zips through you as you both break away stunned. You rub at your arms to take away your goosebumps. The stranger lowers the hand that clutched at his chest, his wide eyes looking at you in question.

“Is it true? A curse is the last thing I need right now!” he laments. You giggle. The soldiers called this man dangerous?

“The rules say no man is to enter, yes.” His horrified expression makes you laugh even more. “But...they are more like guidelines,” you assure him. “Enough temple priestesses have brought their fair share of men back and nothing too sinister has happened yet, by the gods.”

It does little to lessen his worry. He looks at you skeptically. “I thought Athena’s priestesses were supposed to stay virginal in honor of the goddess’s protection.”

“Oh,” you offer him a smile, “that is her protection. It is perception that protects us.”

You eye the man, his features are sharp, striking; almost intimidating; but his aura is quite soft. “...protects us from men. In this world there are very few true heroes, I’m afraid most only live inside songs.”

He looks at you in understanding. “My apologies, you had to deal with those soldiers alone. I couldn’t do anything to defend you.” He winces at the thought, “For you to have shielded me instead, I thank you.” He offers you a deep bow and you feel butterflies dance in your chest.

“Can I ask as to why you’re running?”

He looks to the direction he came, unable to meet your eyes. “Ahh, well...I am in poor favor with The Queen.”

Your eyes widen, you’ve heard rumors of her beauty even in the remoteness of your area, and even more of her kingdom’s hedonism. The man in front of you is truly beautiful. He could be one of her lovers, you think, he most definitely looks the part. His robes though now disheveled are of expensive fabric and show off his lean body, and the way he holds himself you can’t imagine him to be a common worker. “So, you and The Queen, I see...”

“Oh! It’s not what you think...I’m a mere poet. I sing to The Queen and her Court, but she suddenly wanted more of me than I am willing to offer. I-I rejected her.”

Your eyes widen again. “That was most unwise.”

He smiles, his eyes cast down. “I can bear the weight of my faults. I plan to leave to another province.”

“You’ll rather leave your home? But it is The Queen!”

“As you can see, there is punishment in denying The Queen of her desires.”

You’re astonished. “I can’t imagine being with her to be so horrible you’d choose to run instead, give up all you’ve acquired?”

“I rather give myself to someone for love.”

You feel your heartbeat quicken at his words, ‘so idealistic.’ You’ve never encountered an individual with such delicate presence, a trait you find most unconventional. A smile pulls at one of the corners of your mouth, “Aphrodite must favor you.”

Taehyung laughs, his eyes softening, “Thank you again, someone must favor me to put you in my path.” His warm dark eyes hold your gaze. “I mustn’t stay too long…”

“Yes, of course! Well then…” You falter in your farewell. He struggles with the decision to leave. Taehyung knows he must, The Queen’s soldiers could come riding through again at any moment, and he doesn’t want to think of the punishment they would bestow upon you if they learned of your lies, so why can’t he seem to let go of your company?

He notices the trampled flowers littered on the ground around you, the colorful petals lay beautiful and ruined, a fate he worries will become yours if he doesn’t make haste. He picks up an unbroken blossom. “Thank you again.” He places the flower in your palms, a warmth spreads over you through your fingertips as you hold your breath in reverence. His thumbs stroke your fingers gently, and then he nods at you one last time and moves to run again. You feel a pressure building in your throat, unready to bid him farewell, and you don’t understand why this man whom you’ve just met is affecting you so. His kindness and his gentleness makes your body yearn to learn more. What can you do, he’s a stranger and not yours to keep, you must let him go.

His flower stays cradled in your hands, you feel your chest tighten more and more with each step he takes that brings another stretch of distance between your bodies. Your limbs itch to move. What should you do? It is what you want to do that makes you so afraid. You silently ask Athena for guidance. It is only when he turns past the treeline and out of sight that you can’t take it any longer.

You run into the temple. You race to your small quarters, and gather anything you deem valuable, not very much. Pushing down the thoughts that tell you you’re acting crazed and without reason, you fasten your belongings to your body. You race out of the temple's entrance and crash once again into a body that jolts your nerve endings with an undeniable energy. You stare into his eyes once more, the man you saved. He looks down at you, eyes wide with surprise but full of mirth.

A horse carries you and Taehyung farther North. You travel in comfortable silence, as your hands rest snugly around his waist. After riding with him for so long, you are no longer shy to hold him, accustomed to being pressed up against his back. You listen to the steady rhythm of horse hooves against the earth. It is peaceful and you find yourself smiling against Taehyung’s back.

The bright lush green landscape turns dark and threatening as the two of you ride past an abandoned village. The wooden wreckage smolders still. You gasp at the sight, so many homes lost. Taehyung taps the horse’s body with his foot to quicken its step.

“Stop!” You yell at Taehyung once you notice a shift amongst the rubble. You jump off before he properly stops his stead, running towards the wreckage to confirm what you thought you had witnessed.

Taehyung runs after you, warning you to be careful. Once you reposition a large plank of wood, you gasp at what you see. There’s a bleeding old woman pinned underneath, still alive. You call for Taehyung’s help, the both of you pulling her as delicately as you can manage from beneath the rubble.

“I can’t believe you’re still alive, it’s a miracle by The Gods.” Taehyung holds the old woman’s hand as you run to the horse to fetch a canteen of water.

“Oh, a miracle yes,” the old woman coughs out, “fate has blessed me after much burden.”

You work to clean her skin of dried blood and ash, offering her water to drink. “What can we do to help?”

“My walking stick, it is most important.” Her eyes stay closed shut in pain, as she gestures to the place you’ve pulled her from. Taehyung rummages around until he pulls an item from the wreckage, an impressive staff decorated with gold markings and a large green gem adorned at its apex.

The old woman offers Taehyung her gratitude, feeling much more at ease she opens her eyes to look at the pair of you. You stare into the old woman’s clouded grey eyes in surprise.

“Thank you child, but hurry, the rain will wash the flames away, but will halt your journey for the day.” Taehyung looks upwards at the old woman’s words, white clouds are traveling across the bright clear blue sky.

You can’t leave the blind woman alone after everything she’s been through. “If it’s going to rain, please let us take you to the next village for shelter.” She nods and walks staff in hand towards Taehyung’s horse.

“Only a bit further, we will make it before it rains,” the old blind woman promises. Sounds of thunder echo faintly in the background. The sun is no longer out, hidden behind dark grey storm clouds. You shiver and rub the exposed skin of your arms for comfort next to Taehyung as the two of you walk next to his horse. He grasps your hand and pulls you closer to him. He radiates warmth. You never know how to react to his kind gestures. You look up at him and meet his gaze, sending him a shy smile. He rubs his thumb on your knuckles, smiling brightly back. If his intentions were to make you warm, he succeeded, your heart feels full.

“This is a farming community. They are a kind people who serve Demeter, the two of you are safe here,” At the old woman’s declarations you and Taehyung look at each other, exchanging unspoken words.

“This is where our paths must diverge. If you continue to follow this road, you’ll find sanctuary for the night, I promise.” Taehyung helps the old blind woman down from his horse. “Thank you again, children. I don’t have anything to offer you in return for your help, but I can give you some words of wisdom.” She smiles kindly at you both.

The old blind woman still holds Taehyung’s hand in hers. She turns his palm upward, her fingers trace the lines of his hand. You watch her curiously. “Ahh, your soul holds so much talent, you’ll find it’s both a blessing and a curse.” You giggle, Taehyung shoots you a look, his lips curving into a half smile. “Ahh, you know of it already. In the future, you’ll have a great choice to make, I can’t choose for you, but as someone who's lived many years and knows how dreadful and gray the world can become, my advice is to choose the path of love.”

“Always,” Taehyung’s eyes cast a look over to you and you feel shy once more under his gaze.

She brings her hand to Taehyung’s face to pat his cheek. “Dear child, too beautiful for your own good. It won’t be easy for you, for either of you, this path before you. Hermes wings have found your heels, you won’t find much rest in this life.” She looks sympathetic as her head turns towards you.

“Much like the universe has brought you to me, I see destiny is not a stranger.” She smiles at you knowingly. You hold your breath as she reaches for your hand, studying your palm alongside Taehyung’s. “Your souls...they have been linked together. I see the red string of fate wrapped tightly around you both.”

You find yourself wanting to believe her. Her words seem heartfelt and true, and you can’t deny her strong aura despite her fragile appearance. You catch Taehyung’s eyes again. Has he been looking at you this entire time? She continues, “This bond you have is quite unbreakable, not even death can cut what tethers you together.” She studies your hand more carefully, “Ahh, peculiar...”

“Do you see something worrisome?” you ask, concerned.

“It is nothing to worry dear, you have much love that surrounds you. Let yourself love. There will be those who will try to keep you apart, but take it from an old old woman, love is a stronger force than even the gods can imagine. It glitters brighter than gold and gives you riches greater than Kings. In the end, you’ll find a way.”

You think of her words all night. You look over to your companion, he sleeps peacefully next to you. Do you love him? Is this love? Is he your destiny? You pray to Athena for answers, but only more questions arise in your mind.

You think to the day you first met him, the memory bringing a smile to your face. You left with him, in the end. It was you who found the courage to ask him to take you with him, on the premise of wanting to see the world while moving to another temple. You expected him to let you down gently, you remember his hesitation still, but instead he had not refused you, and you have been traveling with him ever since. Being with Taehyung filled the holes of loneliness that punctured your existence before meeting. Your world had been small, consisting only within the temple’s walls. Now your world feels infinite, it’s thrilling and terrifying, and at the center of it all is Taehyung, gentle and kind and sincere in his affection.

---

You are jostled from your sleep. Taehyung pulls you gently from your bed, his lips placing tender kisses across your forehead as he pulls you to your feet. “I’m sorry, we have to leave again.”

This is not the first time you've had to run, or the second or third. So you pack the things you cannot part with and say goodbye to the rest.

Taehyung, the beautiful poet with a voice that can capture any audience's attention, has always been able to afford you both a roof and a meal. Taehyung’s performances become the talk of whatever acropolis you find yourself in, and his fame grows until his looks and voice catch the attention of someone too important to ignore. Fame is a wonderful thing until it becomes too much, too demanding, and all too quickly can Taehyung’s admirers turn into attackers, vilifying his every action. When that happens he decides to run, and you follow. You worry if it goes on like this you’ll have no more places left to run to.

You liked this place the most, it pangs your heart to lose your home again, but you know your true home is in Taehyung’s arms. You pack as many mementos of this place as you can carry, and hold the rest of your memories close in your heart.

---

“Like this,” you pull your bow back and look to the trees ahead where three pheasants sit perched. You choose the biggest bird and aim your arrow. You make sure Taehyung is studying your form and then you let the arrow go. The bird squawks sharply before falling to the ground, and the others scatter to the sky.

“See!” you laugh at Taehyung’s astonished face.

“How are you so much better at this than me?” The poet whines as you hand him back his bow and arrow. You laugh again. You and Taehyung have been learning to survive by yourselves through trial and error, more error than not. You’ve never had to hunt for food before, but you quickly found yourself skilled, and you think it’s quite fun. At least when you’re not starving, stomach already full from fresh berries Taehyung had picked for you to share. He had picked you flowers as well. They sit in your hair in an intricate pattern after you complained to him you couldn’t eat flowers. You slowly remove the arrow bag from around your neck, so as not to ruin the halo he so carefully crafted.

“I caught it, so you cook it,” you tease.

He brings your hand to his lips for a quick kiss. “That, my fair maiden, I can do!”

---

It is late and Taehyung has not arrived home. His performance should have been done hours ago. You try not to let your thoughts wander into the dark depths of your worst fears as you settle into a restless unease. Your home is quiet and still, too quiet. You keep your ears focused as you wander around the house.

It goes from quiet to chaos too quickly, you hear shouting in the distance. A hand grabs your mouth before you can scream, you start to kick but strong arms hold you tightly. Taehyung shushes you as he pulls you to the back entrance of your home.

You’re running into the woods with the poet, he pulls you to the ground and holds you beneath him. From the bushes you watch men with swords circle your house. You feel violated as you watch them enter your home. Crashes inside make you flinch in Taehyung's arms. “We’ll go back to fetch our things once they leave,” he shushes you.

The soft warm glow of your house becomes bright, light filling up the night sky as a fire breaks out and the men continue to destroy your home. Taehyung covers your mouth to stifle your cries and holds you close to him, whispering countless apologies. You can only whimper in his arms, your shoulders shake in grief as you watch everything you own go up in flames.

When you first came to this place, you and Taehyung stood out too much for the villagers' liking. You were strangers, you didn’t look like them, and they targeted you constantly for the pettiest of things. But this area was remote so you endured their hateful ways. It didn’t help matters when Taehyung, a much better singer than the locals before him, was offered an audience with the region’s King. Taehyung never made an appearance, letting other singers he befriended attend in his place, hoping to gain some favor with the locals, but it only angered the King. Feeling insulted, he killed the poets. And now, with enemies at both ends, and anger consuming the villagers, Ares wrath scorched your home to the ground.

You’re quiet next to Taehyung. Your feet ache from walking. No horse, no food in days. It’s nightfall and cold, you wear his cloak and shiver still. You walk beside the poet, but he feels oceans away. His usual bright eyes are dull and full of sorrow. You didn’t realize how accustomed you were to his touch until he had stopped. Your body aches to be in his arms, to hold his hand while you walk. You feel loneliness twist around you instead.

It is Taehyung who breaks the silence. He speaks softly, “There is a famous temple of Athena in this city, hopefully we can convince them to let you stay.”

The idea revolts you, pulling at the pit of your stomach. The thought of going back to your old ways, as if it would be a reprieve or something you missed, makes you nauseated.

“No.”

“I thought it would be enough...I-I was naive. I’m truly cursed. I can sing all about love, paint beautiful stories of love’s triumph, but when I cannot give you anything else but my devotion, it’s not enough. I can’t stand to watch you wither away in front of me. You deserve more.”

“The oracle said-”

“What kind of life is this for you?” He stops walking, his voice breaks in his anguish. “I-I’m sorry. I should have never taken you away from safety into this reckless existence. This should have been my burden alone.” Tears fall down his face as he shudders. You reach for him, cup his face in your hands. How can you make him see he’s all you want? He lets you wipe away his tears. You pull his head down to meet yours.

“What kind of life is this? The best life I’ve ever could have wished for. A life full of love. I’d trade everything I have for you.” You brush your lips against his, it stops his tears. His eyes fill with adoration, a blazing intensity that makes your heartbeat quicken.

“Stop this worrying, let’s go.” You grab his hand and pull him along. The silence hangs heavy in the air, the stillness of the night frightens you.

“Sing me a song please.”

“From now on I’ll only sing for you.” Taehyung says his words quietly, but his resolve thunders to the heavens, shaking the course of your lives.

The light of day shines through your open window, it illuminates the thin white fabric pulled over your head and wakes you. The white cloth flitters in the breeze of your bedroom and you catch a peak of the handsome man lying next to you. His dark warm eyes are already open as he watches you stretch your sleepiness away. He lifts his head, pulling the sheet higher, so he can get a better look at you, “Good morning, my beloved.”

Taehyung’s dark hair and tan skin against the glowing white backdrop of your bed sheets makes him look ethereal. You watch him in awe, “Good morning, dear husband.”

Your body feels heavy and rested. Your bare skin is warm against his and the sun heated sheet, the soft fabric pulls over your bodies, everything is so soft and warm.

Taehyung buries his head in your chest, smiling against your skin. “I love you.”

Your fingers play with the curls of his hair. “And I love you.”

Underneath the covers, you create your own little world, away from the responsibilities of your lives, the expectations of the day.

Taehyung runs his lips across your naked chest, kissing, licking, biting all over your body. You giggle at his playful teasing touches. “You’re perfection, so soft and pretty.” He captures your lips in a kiss, moving his mouth against yours slowly as his body rests between your legs. His hands find your waist and pull at your skin as he explores your mouth with his tongue, swallowing your moans.

Your legs wrap around his torso, you can feel him growing against your slick core. Taehyung's fingers find yours and he intertwines them together, pulling your arms above your head. He nibbles on the sensitive skin below your jaw.

“You smell so good,” he moans, “you taste so good.” His low baritone voice sends shivers down your body. You whimper, breathless from his caresses. He thrusts in slowly, rolling his body into you, slow and steady until you’re both feverish from mounting pleasure. “What do you want, my love?”

“Just you, please, I want all of you.”

He rolls you over so your body is on top of him. “You have me forever. Now show me how much you want me.” Your playful lover bites his lower lip, pulling on your hips to make you move against him. Your body moves up and down his length, Taehyung’s moans and devastating lustful looks spur you on to please him.

You roll your hips faster, so close to release. Taehyung notices your frenzied state and grabs your hips to hold you still, thrusting up into you instead. His hard length fills you up so deliciously. His grip on you is searing yet soft, you focus on his body below you, his tight muscles and golden skin. “I-I’m close.”

“Touch yourself for me.”

The room fills with sinful noises as your bodies converge again and again and you cry out in euphoria. Taehyung stills inside you as you reach your high, mesmerized by the way your body twist in pleasure in his arms.

Taehyung lays your trembling body down against the soft sheets of your bed, grinding his hips into you as you continue to pulse around him. “Eyes open, look at me my love.”

You struggle with his command, but hold his gaze as best you can, his physique shines with sweat and his hungry eyes roam over your spent body, the erotic way he looks at you ignites the desire in between your legs once again.

He’s so close to release. Taehyung quickens his pace, making you tighten around him, senses overloaded. You moan, encouraging him to keep going.

“You’ll let me fill you up? Have my baby?” His long fingers find your sensitive nub, applying pressure and making you cry out.

“Y-yes!” You can only feel blinding pleasure as Taehyung thrusts into you deeper.

“How beautiful you’ll be, glowing and pregnant with my baby growing inside of you.” He groans. Your stomach tightens as his cock swells, pressure filling you before you feel yourself snapping again. Taehyung’s own release following, your tightness too much for him to handle.

You hold him close to you as you both work to steady your breathing, “We have to start baking soon,” you softly remind him, “before the market opens.”

Taehyung cuddles closer to you, “It’s okay, they’ll wait for my bread, it is the best in the city.” He grins, kneading at your breasts with his large hands. You laugh, relaxing into his embrace.

“Okay okay, we’ll stay a bit longer.”

Your children gather around you in prayer. You take in a ragged breath. Your bedridden aging body feels heavy. Soft light begins to cloud the edges of your vision as you listen to the wistful voices of your sons and daughters shower you with love. Taehyung's fingers brush against your wrinkled digits.

“My beautiful wife, how I missed you.”

You call out his name. Your eldest daughter soothes you, brushing her hand over your forehead. You thought you would be afraid once teetering on the edge of your own mortality, but with him here, holding you again, fear is unable to reach you. You’re already so full of love.

Taehyung comes into your focus, still beautiful in his old age, still the gentle man you love, he places a feather light kiss on your temple. Relief washes through you, the currents pull the burdens on your soul away, and you feel light, floating between worlds.

“I’ve waited for you,” Taehyung’s deep voice fills your mind, “Are you ready to travel with me again?” You know your answer, innate as the love you felt when you first met him.

You take one final breath, letting go and following Taehyung again.

---

Your eyes flutter open. You’re lying face down on the hotel bed. As your eyes begin to focus, you are met with the singer’s face next to yours. Taehyung is lying on his back next to you, grinning from ear to ear, your fingers are still interlocked by your heads.

“What happened?” you whisper.

“I don’t know, I think we passed out, I woke up right before you opened your eyes.”

He looks at you, still beaming, a boxy smile plastered on his face. You try not to smile back. He shouldn’t be this happy!

“That wasn’t bad. You made it sound bad.” he pouts.

You hum, looking at your still intertwined fingers. You study the smooth skin of your hands, the wrinkles and veins you’d seen now only a fleeting memory. You feel tired.

Taehyung feels like he’s just woken up from a long dream. Memories of last night feel far away, more distant than memories presumably lived centuries ago. He focuses on the only constant, you.

“Do you regret it?”

You let out a deep exhale, you move your hand to trace his cheek, his nose, his eyebrow; he watches you quietly. You flick him on the forehead.

Taehyung yelps, looking quite betrayed by your actions. You smile, and his expression switches easily back to happiness. “It’s okay, you don’t have to admit I’m right,” he teases.

You let out a huff, “Doesn’t it bother you? It should bother you! Why is this happening...it’s exhausting...”

Taehyung wraps his arms around you and pulls you close to his body. “I don’t care why,” he mumbles into your hair. Your breath catches in your throat as he cuddles closer to you.

“Do you want me to stop?”

Your heart pounds. You try to stay calm. “No,” you whisper.

His arms tighten around your frame. His warmth envelopes you, it feels like there’s fire inside you, burning down all your apprehensions.

“So this is how it feels. I thought I understood Jungkook. But this is....” you feel his body vibrate as he laughs to himself. “It’s not something you can put into words, right? I understand what he means, about not wanting to let you go.”

Closing your eyes you can picture yourself being in a different place, a different land, another time, you let yourself relax into Taehyung’s embrace. You can feel his hands caress your body, his long fingers travel to the back of your neck and down your spine and the curve of your back.

“I know I’ve never hugged you, but it feels like I’ve done this a hundred times before. Like you belong with me.” His voice is low in your ears. You try to ignore how you feel, how true his words are, but you can't.

“Right? At least admit that to me, y/n.” He whispers. His fingers dig into your skin as he pulls you even closer.

“Hm?”

“You belong with me.”

“I-” A knock on your door makes you break away from him. Taehyung flops on his back, sighing. You open the door to the youngest and oldest members smiling at you.

“Good morning!” You internally wince at your unusually high voice. Jungkook looks over your shoulder, noticing movement inside your room. He sees Taehyung sitting cross legged on your bed, leaning back on his palms with a grin on his face. Jungkook’s doe eyes go wide as his head turns slowly over to the eldest, who then mirrors his expression. Their surprised faces would be comical to you if you didn’t feel responsible for their reactions.

Everyone’s silence is making your stomach twist into knots. You clear your throat. “I touched his hand, if that’s what you’re wondering.” Unable to meet their eyes, you feel the need to add, “That’s all that happened. So...okay, let’s go!”

---

Everyone is sitting in the penthouse, around the coffee table filled with plates piled high with different breakfast foods. Some are sitting on the floor, some on the couch with plates in their laps. Jin ushers you next to an open spot next to J-Hope and sits on your other side. Taehyung and Jungkook have been quietly talking behind you and find seats in the empty gaps.

“The food here is really good,” Hoseok says in between bites as Jin serves you a plate. He smiles brightly at you. Hoseok wishes he wasn't so apprehensive with you. He aches to get to know you, learn all your quirks, learn about your childhood and what makes you happy so he can shower you with more of it; and what makes you sad so he can make sure you never experience it again. But he's too scared, Hoseok feels too much guilt.

His hair is messy and sticking up in weird angles, you resist the urge to fix it. ‘Just keep your hands to yourself, y/n. He’s not your friend,’ you chant in your head. You look around at the men, cozy and warm in their group. You realize how much of an outsider you are.

“Here,” Jin places a triangle of sweet toast on your already overflowing plate. You eat quietly while the members talk to themselves and check their phones. It feels nice, like a big family dinner on the holidays. You watch Hoseok take a selfie with his phone, a minute later you feel your phone vibrate with a notification.

“You posted to twitter just now?” Hoseok notices the panic in your voice as you magnify the picture to make sure there’s no item or reflection that might incriminate you.

“Err yes, why?” he scoots closer to you to see what you’re doing.

“I just-didn’t think it was that easy.” You scroll quickly through your timeline now that you’ve made sure you’re safe, Jin and Hoseok both moving in your space to stare at your phone much to your dismay and you think it’s time to put it away after the third photo of Namjoon’s toned arms pop up on your feed.

After stuffing yourselves full, the time has come to address the elephant in the room. The members take turns reliving the moments of last night, and in Taehyung’s case this morning, explaining everything so the group could all remain on the same page.

Namjoon should have been upset, once Taehyung shocked the rest of the group by speaking, but being in the same predicament himself, he was not surprised to learn Taehyung sought you out, he had barely slept toying with the idea himself.

You don’t talk much, just confirm certain details. You noticed how the men glossed over the most tragic parts of your visions, and you don’t care to interject. You learned new things as well...

Jimin finding his way back to your farm, only to find it destroyed and you gone, and unable to live with himself after that. You can’t meet each other's eyes when you tell him your own version of events.

Jin wanted to propose, he had picked out a ring, a bright blue gem like the ocean.

Taehyung had convinced you he stopped singing as a bard because he grew to hate it, but he confessed, to your suspicion, that wasn’t the case at all. He promised you he never once regretted his decision.

Hoseok took the job as a DJ because when you were younger you were obsessed with your local station, swooning over the DJ's voice and always calling in to win contests for you and Hoseok. He always had an affinity for music, but mostly he did it for you, to impress you.

Yoongi almost didn’t admit he had never really left your side, how he never stopped protecting you. That had shocked you the most. Your heart screams to comfort him, to comfort all of them.

Jungkook excitedly tells you everything he had planned for your escape, he used his life’s savings to find you and him a new home far away. He tells you how if you both had succeeded you would have been so happy with him.

It felt weird. All these lives inside you itching to burst through, you didn’t feel like yourself anymore. You meet the idol’s eyes sitting next to you, and when he looks at you so tenderly, you wonder who he really sees.

“Yoongi’s life was the coolest.” The quiet rapper keeps his head down, only nodding in acknowledgement at Jimin’s comment.

“Well I liked mine,” Taehyung declares. “Which one was your favorite, y/n?”

“I’m not answering that,” you mutter, growing hot under the sudden attention.

“Hmm I don’t see a connection.” Namjoon hums. “Apart from y/n.”

“Should there be one?”

“I’m assuming nothing strange like this has ever happened to you before?” Namjoon turns to you. You shake your head. “Have you ever had dreams, um, of us?”

“No! I mean-what? No.” You pull the neck of Jungkook’s hoodie over your mouth to hide your embarrassment, with no intention on admitting anything. What does dreaming have to do with this?

Namjoon stays silent in thought. Should he tell the group now?

“I should probably go now.” It’s no longer morning after talking for so long. You have a life to go back to; chores, work. You hope being back in your home will make you feel more like the old you, before everything you thought you knew was turned upside down.

Jungkook stands up, “Why!”

“I have work in the morning? Not everyone is a famous world class musician,” You try to keep your tone light, but you’re bothered.

His lips press into a tight line. “I know, just…”

You have responsibilities, a job to go to tomorrow, you don’t want to entertain the wild fantasies arising in your mind at the way he looks at you so pleadingly to stay. “I can’t stay here all day.” You stand up as well, the members’ eyes dart back and forth between you and Jungkook, like they were watching fighters in a match.

“I don’t want you to leave.” Jungkook blurts out.

You close your eyes and rub at your temples. It’s becoming too hard, to keep pushing these feelings away, you cannot allow yourself to feel things for these men. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. What do you want from me?”

Jungkook speaks louder, “Do you not want to be with me?”

“I’m-that’s not-it’s not that simple. You don’t even know me! Do you want to be with me-”

“Yes.”

You let out an incredulous laugh and look around the room, but the men look starkly serious. You focus on the youngest again, raising your voice so everyone can hear you clearly. “I’m a nobody. You don’t know me. Name one thing you know about me other than my name...name my favorite color! If you can name my favorite color I’ll sta-”

Jungkook names your favorite color. His eyes piercing through you. Your breath catches in your throat.

‘How did he-wait...was it her favorite color too?’ Tears well up in your eyes. “...I’m not her.”

Jungkook winces at your words, “You’re right, I don’t know who you are right now. But you are...I know you are...the woman I fell in love with. What are you so afraid of?”

You look down at the ground to your feet. You can only shake your head at him and keep your mouth shut so you don’t start crying in front of them. You feel a hand wrap around yours and you already know who it is. You yank your hand away. If Yoongi is hurt, he doesn’t show it to you.

“I’m sorry, I know my life is difficult, that I’m a ‘famous musician,’ but isn’t it better than a poor stable worker? Can’t you see how meeting you again, this might be, maybe...fate?”

A pained laugh escapes your throat, letting go of the pressure you built up in your forced silence. “Oh my god. This is not happening.” Yes, maybe you can finally admit what happened was real, but what does that change? It’s not like you can run away with him in this life either, the entire world recognizes him now.

Your hands hold your head, your nails dig into your skin to concentrate on anything other than Jungkook’s continuing pleas. It’s just laughable to think this idol is begging you to stay with him. A sick thought invades your mind that maybe you’re doomed to repeat your transgressions. The memory of his bleeding body flashes in your mind, you’re not meant to be with them, how could you be? They’re the most famous singers in the world, yeah, you are afraid.

Jimin tries to calm down the youngest, “Kookie, you can’t force her to stay here…”

Jungkook is beside himself. He feels you slipping through his fingers again, away from him and even if it’s different now, it feels too sickeningly similar.

“Hyung please, you’ve been with non-idols, please talk to her...please!” Jungkook is crying, begging Jin.

A strangled sob escapes your throat at his cries. Hoseok rushes over to you, but you scramble away from his touch. You know you’ll break the second you let him comfort you.

Jin’s heart is breaking; for Jungkook, for you, for himself. He doesn’t know what to say, he’s just afraid as Jungkook of letting you go. Finally Namjoon decides to take control of the situation, the only one with a clear head. “Everyone leave. Now. Y/n deserves her space, and we still have four more days left in this city. Alright go!” The boys pull each other away, holding onto each other for strength, trusting their leader.

Yoongi pats a crying Jungkook on the back, “It’s okay, Joon will convince her.”

---

Your eyes hurt from crying, puffy and dark. You feel pathetic. Your head is pounding, you lean against the car window as you watch the blur of the city go past.

“Here.” Namjoon sits across from you, leaving the middle seat open. He hands you a cell phone.

You hold the sleek new model in your hand, “What is this?”

“It’s a hand phone,” the idol says teasingly.

You can’t help but let out a small laugh. “What is this for?”

“For you, to contact us.” Namjoon shrugs, “If you want to.” You sit in silence as his driver takes you home.

“You haven’t asked to touch my hand. Do you not want to?” You ask, sneaking a glance at the rapper.

“Of course I want to,” he speaks softly. “It’s all I’ve thought about since I saw you. But you’ve gone through a lot. I’ll let you decide if it’s something you want to do, and when you’re ready I’ll be here.”

You bite your lip. “For four more days.”

Namjoon smiles, his dimples on display. “Yes, I’m guessing you didn’t get tickets for the next city?”

“No, I wish. Those fanmeet tickets weren’t exactly cheap.”

Namjoon chuckles softly, “Ahh sorry.”

“Well, I did get a free breakfast with BTS, lucky me,” you hum. He nods, his eyes cast down. You hope he didn’t catch any bitterness in your tone, under any circumstance you would be dying of happiness.

You let the silence envelope you again, as you start to recognize the streets, you’re getting closer to home and to being left alone. You sigh, running your hands over your face, “Oh god, this is a mess.”

“I don’t think it is. I think there’s a reason for everything. And I think there’s a reason why this happened to you. To all of us.”

“What could that reason be?” You ask him genuinely, maybe the genius idol sees something you don’t.

“I don’t know. I do know it’s lonely being an idol. It’s hard to love, to find someone to love you and not break under the constant pressure.”

“I don’t know if I can be that person.”

“Well to me, it sounds like you’ve already been that person.” You want to scoff, but the sincere look in his eyes makes you stop. The GPS signals your arrival home.

The air is heavy as you gather up the strength to leave, “I will message you later, I promise. Just give me some time.”

You watch the expensive van leave your entrance. You couldn’t see through the dark tinted windows, but you had a feeling the idol was watching you, so you held yourself together and waved goodbye.

---

You know you should have just gone inside your home, but you had something to do first, it was driving you mad not knowing. So now you stand in front of a door that’s not your own still in clothes that are not your own. You send a text of your arrival and knock.

“Hi!” You pretend you aren’t exhausted, “I just have to try something-”

He looks at you dumbfounded as you grab his hand and start shaking it. Nothing. ‘Of course, just wonderful.’ You switch to two hands, shaking more forcefully.

“What’s going on...” his voice is shaky from the intense movements of your greeting. ‘Why is nothing happening, why is it only them, Ugh, why!’

“Earth to y/n...” why why why why.

He grabs your arms to stop your movements “Hey, are you okay? You never responded to my calls, I was worried.”

“I’m sorry,” you look into his concerned eyes. It feels like eons ago, whatever budding feelings you had for him. Why.

“Do you want to come in?”

“No, I better go.”

“You came all the way over here and you don’t want to tell me how last night went? You meet BTS and now you’re acting all crazy! You didn’t decide to leave me for one of them, did you?” your friend jokes.

“Ah ha aha…”

He raises his eyebrow at you. “I have work tomorrow...I just wanted to see you.” It’s the truth, you’re not lying. “I’m sorry for not responding last night. I’ll see you later?”

He gives you a kiss goodbye. ‘Oh no.’ It all feels so wrong.

---

The first day, you send Jungkook an apology. He sends you a ton of voice memos and selfies, just happy to talk to you again. You respond with light replies, trying not to dig your hole any deeper.

The second day, that night you break down. You send all the boys a simple “hi”. Yoongi, Jin, Taehyung, Jungkook, and Namjoon all respond. They send messages about their day. Jin sends you a picture of his food. Yoongi says he misses you. Against your better judgement you tell him you miss him too. Suspiciously, after your reply Jungkook and Taehyung message that they miss you seconds apart from one another. You tell them you miss them too, when Taehyung says he wants to see you, you’re too scared to respond.

The third day you stay busy with work. Hoseok sends you a picture of the sunset, his first message to you, nothing else. You wait until the night comes and send a picture of the moon from your window, and ‘Goodnight. Sweet dreams.’

The fourth day the pressure becomes too much. You hover over the call button all day but you can’t do it. By dinner time, you get a call from Jungkook. You try to swallow down the tears you’ve cried all day and sound cheerful when you answer.

“I just wanted to call before we get on the plane,” he says.

‘It’s too late. No.’ you think. “I’m sorry, tell Namjoon I’m so sorry. I should have seen him before you all left, I should have...”

“Don’t worry y/n. No one blames you.”

“That doesn’t mean what I did was okay. I wanted to see you all again.”

“You did?” The way his voice becomes more cheerful tugs at your heart. “You can make it up to us by talking more. Can I video chat with you later?”

“Okay.”

“Okay, got to go...Bye Beautiful.” He sounds like he’s in a much better mood, you can hear the teasing lilt to his words.

Weeks go by. You keep your promise. It’s easier communicating through the screen of your phone. You can imagine them to be online friends, people who are not famous. Some conversations stay light, some become deeper. They pry information from your life, learning more and more about you, and you feel yourself getting attached to their morning greetings and late night calls. Meanwhile, with family and friends you try to act like everything is normal, keeping this weird new world hidden, but you’re still constantly haunted by your memories with them. Your past lives play through your mind all day long and replace your dreams. Everything else felt so wrong now, so not you anymore, so gray. You feel like a bad friend, a bad daughter, a cheater.

---

Namjoon wakes up, groaning, his body still heavy from sleep. He quickly changes into a pair of slacks and a button down shirt. He chooses a forest green vest to wear, like the plants in his room. He runs pomade in his hair before heading downstairs to get ready for the morning.

He unlocks the door to his bookstore, before he can turn around the door opens with a loud ding. You walk in and make a beeline to the center table. Namjoon laughs, “Back so soon?”

“Of course, I’m so bored! My crops won’t be harvestable for another couple of months. Any other recommendations? I loved your last one.” You smile brightly at the bookstore owner, he’s always so kind to you and doesn’t make you feel like an outsider when you visit. If you could, you would spend all day in his store, talking about the latest novels and picking each other's brains. “Before I forget! For you...” You hand him two jars of homemade jam.

You're his favorite customer. And if Namjoon is being honest, he has a crush on you. He pulls a book from high above a shelf, a pristine copy. “This one, it should keep you busy.” Your eyes sparkle as you take in the large leather bound novel, gold letters adorning it’s spine. “How much?”

“Don’t worry, this one time I’ll take jam as payment.”

“No, that was a present,” you pout.

“Well, then this is a present for you.”

“Sir, if you don’t let me pay, I will throw a fit! I need you to stay in business.” It’s always like this with him, you’ll be damned if he doesn’t let you show him how much you appreciate him.

Namjoon laughs, “Alright alright. Then promise me you’ll come visit as soon as you finish.”

You nod, holding your new purchase close to your heart. He watches you leave, his eyes lingering on your body. You hold onto his book like a prized trophy. It’s another thing he loves about you, the way you treat things with so much care. His eyes still linger on you as you stand outside his shop. He sees a stranger run into you, you stumble back and almost fall, he rushes to the door to help you but stops in his tracks as the man's face comes into focus. “Jimin?”

Namjoon wakes up startled. He runs his hands through his hair, disturbed at what he saw. He’s covered in sweat, inside the cold room of his bedroom. Every night he’s had dreams of you, but this one was different. Should he go talk to someone about it? Who would believe him? He feels like every day he’s slowly getting closer to losing his mind. Today is going to be a long day full of press junkets. He rubs at his eyes trying to forget what he saw, what he felt.

---

Today you decide to call Namjoon. Usually, you’ll wait until one of the members decides to call you, but you had to talk to him before you lost your nerve. He picks up on the second ring. “Hey, I can’t talk for that long, is everything okay?” you can hear how busy it is in the background.

“No it’s my fault! I’m sorry, I’m an idiot, of course you would be busy. Call me when you’re free.”

“No! I have some time, we can talk.” You hear him shuffling to a quieter location.

Are you going to regret this? You take a deep breath. “I want to see you again. I-I don’t want to forget about what happened and go back to my life like everything is normal when it's not. You were right. I’m sorry...I’m sorry it took me so long to realize it.” You wait for Namjoon’s response, the silence fills you with anxiety. You would completely understand if he brushes you off now.

“I’ll figure something out. Okay y/n?”

“Okay.”

“I’ll see you soon.”

“See you.”

That night Namjoon sends you a series of text messages with instructions. Your eyes go wide over the new information. You look around your home, you know you should feel some sadness, but only excitement bubbles inside you. ‘I guess this is it.’ How are you going to explain this to your family and friends, to your boyfriend? A special internship in South Korea, you guess is how you’ll start.

---Three Months Later---

Namjoon splashes cold water on his face, he looks up into his bathroom mirror and blinks at his reflection. Namjoon’s eyes are not his.

Namjoon wakes up yelling. He falls back into bed, catching his breath. He checks the time. You should be on the plane right now. The idol rapper has always appreciated the wealth he’s accumulated over the years, but he feels especially grateful in this moment, now that he has found himself in a position of power large enough to secure you with a translation job within his own company.

---

A man holds a sign with your name on it. You walk towards him, your suitcase ticking on the airport concrete as it rolls on the ground behind you. You spent the last three months preparing for this, studying over language books every night and saying goodbye to family and friends. Your parents didn’t understand your sudden change of career, but you promised them the pay was better and it wouldn’t be forever. Your boyfriend was not so understanding, especially when you wouldn’t give him any details as to why you’re leaving the county. You and him weren’t even that serious to begin with but the breakup was messy.

You followed the driver’s instructions once he dropped you off in front of a very posh looking complex, entering key codes, up the elevator, down the hall, until you stood in front of the correct numbered door. You use the key he gave you to unlock the large door and walk into a massive apartment. Every member is already inside, waiting for you. You feel relief wash over you, you can’t help but smile at the group. They cheer at your arrival, you notice balloons and a makeshift welcome sign. The mood is definitely much more relaxed from the last time you all gathered together.

“Is this your place?” You ask as Jungkook takes your suitcase.

“No, this is your apartment.”

Your eyes go wide, “This is way too big!”

Taehyung jumps up and gives you a hug. The months you talked made you feel much more comfortable around them, but you still weren’t prepared for the rush of emotions that filled you once in his embrace again.

“It’s the smallest unit in this building,” Yoongi lets you know.

“And I’m guessing I can’t go to another building.”

“Our dorm is in this one,” The youngest member explains.

“How…” You take a deep breath, eyeing Jungkook up and down, “...convenient.” You take a seat with them on the ridiculously huge couch, next to Yoongi and Jin.

You sigh, stretching your sore jet lagged muscles. “Need to go to the bathroom?” Yoongi whispers at you teasingly.

You snort, his words taking you out of your worries. “Funny,” you mutter.

The eldest helps you fill out a stack of forms for your employment while the rest set plates of takeout on the living room table. You eat your first meal in Korea together. Sitting together, laughing together, you feel better than you have in months. It’s that feeling you get when you’ve finally completed a puzzle, placing the last piece in its place. You feel complete.

Taehyung’s words pull you from your thoughts.

“So y/n, when are you gonna hold Joon’s hand?”

“Oh, um…”

“You came all the way to Korea for him, right!” Taehyung teases.

“She doesn’t have to...” Namjoon murmurs.

“Oh c’mon! You can’t tell me you haven’t been going crazy waiting!”

“Yeah, I agree with Tae!” Jimin laughs.

“Do it!” Jungkook cheers.

“Do it! Do it! Do it!” The youngest members are chanting at the pair of you. You feel the heat rise in your face. You had planned on it, you wanted to find a way to get Namjoon alone, but now with all the attention on you, you feel apprehensive. You look over to Namjoon who looks equally as embarrassed. ‘I don’t want to do this,’ the thought screams in your head.

It has been months, Namjoon has waited for this moment. Now that he’s being put on the spot, he’s apprehensive. Ever since his bandmates touched you, they have acted differently, it might not be noticeable to anyone around them, but Namjoon noticed. Would he change too? Before he can yell at his bandmates, you stand up and walk over to his seat. “They aren’t going to stop,” You whisper, holding out your hand. He sighs and stands up.

“So?” Jin asks when he notices the lack of reaction from both of you as you grip each other's hands.

“Um, nothing is happening.” You stare at the rapper, but his attention is on the place where your hands meet, brows furrowed in disbelief.

“This doesn’t make sense..” He starts shaking your hand up and down as if that might help, it reminds you of the night he dropped you off, and you know exactly how he feels.

“Maybe it’s because I’m jet lagged or something? We could try again later...” you try to soothe the rapper but you can tell he is growing more and more upset with each passing moment, and your arm feels like it's going to dislodge from your shoulder the more he shakes.

The members have all gone silent.

“Maybe you don’t have a past life together?” Hoseok places his hand on Namjoon’s shoulder to stop his movements. No one expected this.

“No, that’s not-we have to-I know it!” Namjoon tries to stay calm but his voice is full of panic.

“Maybe it had something to do with that time, the planets aligning or something?” Jimin says. Is this your fault? Because you were too scared. What have you done? You’re rethinking everything now, you shouldn’t have come here.

“No.” Namjoon is right, he knows it, “that’s not it...” It doesn’t make sense, he knows there’s a connection between you and him. He lets the confession tumble out of his mouth before he can properly think. “Your name, I knew it! How would I know your name?”

You look at him confused, “What do you mean?”

Namjoon bites his tongue. He lets go of you. He blinks his eyes to get rid of tears threatening to spill. The mood is gone and everyone is silent. You feel horrible. Somehow this is your fault, you know it.

“Joon...” The eldest member calls out to him.

“I-I need some air.” Namjoon breaks away from the group.

“Wait!”

---

OOOOooo you had a whole ass boyfriend and you went and tongued Yoongi, scandalous. Looks like poor Joonie got the spiritual cockblock. Should I explain myself lol or do you like drawing your own conclusions?

Oh! Fun fact, the two sentences were this: Your eyes flutter open, you’re lying face down on the hotel bed. Taehyung is lying on his back next to you, grinning from ear to ear, your fingers are still interlocked by your heads. That’s what I had to go on T_T hah. Anyways let me know what you think <3

[mggpleasedontlookhere]

checkmate

summary: where y/n and spencer live in a world of soulmates; but how magical can it really be when the last words of your lover are the only indication of their existence.

word count: 7,054                                                                                               reading time aprox: 26 mins

warnings: character death, angst

a/n: this is my comeback fic, I hope you like it. I made sure to make it extra angsty to compensate for my disappearance :) also this fic can be read by anyone!

masterlist

Chess is a meticulous endeavor, not only in its cold and calculated nature, but also in the player’s ability to detect insecurity flash across their opponents' eyes, the unconscious idiosyncrasies that foretell future moves, and the slow descent into hopelessness that disintegrates the former’s conviction. Most will point out the cruelty of the game, how callous it must be knowing your end eight moves before it happens. However, others will oppose this notion as it is the game; one must lose to win.

It’s all a matter of who plays their pieces right.  

Before that pivotal moment, players can only maneuver through a black and white arena. Fingertips would drum in anticipation while the other would hover over their pieces, striding across the board with purpose. Regardless of the disparity between the players’ experience or skill, there is always one factor, unmoved by player attributes, that is not a disadvantage nor luxury for either party: time.  

Even in the checkered plane, nothing will matter. The players will cease to move, forced to end the game by the lack of time. This mechanism in nature acts as a failsafe if either individual is unable to conclude the game. In other words, there are only two outcomes: winning the game by will or letting time take that will away from you.  

However, what is not noticed is the growing ache in the winner’s chest, disappointment beginning to fester inside of them because of their loss in deciding. In that split realization, the winner is placed on an equal plane as the loser, wondering if they ever really won at all.  

This middle plane is beautiful and tragic simultaneously—maybe the beauty is in the tragedy. But as my palm leaves a bloodied handprint pressed against Spencer’s chest, all I can see is the world around me turning red.  

Please be okay, please be okay for me

My mouth would silently mutter in tandem with his desperate and reaching touches, a mantra I convinced myself could surpass time, all while knowing my will was seized from me the moment Spencer uttered the words imprinted at my hip.  

-

October 27th

2 days before  

Water vapor collected around the coffee mug pressed to my lips. Although it’s ironic to call it a ‘coffee’ mug considering it was filled to the brim with scalding tea. The tips of my fingers and the skin of my palms tingled at the heat given off. My thoughts drifted to the explanation of the first law of thermodynamics that Spencer had kindly explained during the walk home from the night before.

  An unconscious smile brushed over my lips briefly, reminiscing the blissful moments of the team gathered around a bar table after finishing up a briefing about a local case. A warm cloud of content passed through my chest while a lightness traveled from the bottoms of my feet to the summit of my forehead. The herbal tea traveling down my esophagus countered the cold nipping of the autumn air, bringing a welcome equilibrium to my wellbeing.  

I shrugged the knitted blanket over my shoulders further, staring into the calming view that the apartment window provided. Across from the building was a small, abandoned park. Most of the neighbors had steered clear of the area as it didn’t meet anyone’s aesthetic standards—well, except for mine. 

 Half of the trees have lost their leaves, counting down the days to winter. The park benches were covered with tangled vines, even some lacking required wood boards. In summary, the place was an overgrown jungle that no one was willing to inhabit. In result, the once communal area was condemned by the normal folk for being ‘too dead.’ However, I would oppose those who claim the lack of life in the park considering life is not only just living, but it is to invite death.  

In my observation of the park, a soft reflection suddenly appeared beside the yellow oak trees. In my peripheral, I can see my roommate creeping up behind me with his limbs moving catlike. I bit my bottom lip to conceal the amused huff threatening to escape me, instead settling to blowing over the steam rising from my cup.  

Just before I saw his head bobble over my shoulder, arms stretched out above me, I whipped around his lanky figure and ducked under his arm. “You know for an agent; I expected a better performance.” An inaudible yelp interrupted the fit of giggles I was in as some of the tea spilled onto my blanket. “Now look what you’ve done! Do you know how hard it is to get dark liquids off cotton?”  

“Just some hydrogen peroxide will do the trick,” Spencer shrugged, insisting to pull off the semi-damp blanket off my shoulders. “Plus, you messed up my bit!”

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot I was living with a five-year-old,” I teased, nudging him.

  Spencer craned his neck to the side, letting the sore tendons and muscles stretch out from just waking up. All without forgetting to let out an obnoxious yawn in addition to his exaggeratedly extended arms. “I’ll have you know that this five-year-old has three PhDs and three bachelors,” he boasted.  

“...and daddy issues.”  

Before I can find a way to defend myself, the same blanket that brought me solace previously was transformed into an unmerciful whip. Spencer chased me around the couch until I slipped and toppled over the cushions, landing on the throw pillows. I buried my head into the leather arm, shutting my eyes, while I replicated the nature of Spencer’s antics by emitting ridiculous snores. 

 “You can’t touch me while I’m sleeping,” I murmured, feigning my slow lull to slumber. “It’s socially unacceptable.” During my spiel, Spencer had playfully grabbed my ankles and dragged me to a sitting position.  

“SPENCER!” I gasped, clutching one of the pillows in hand and smacking him over the head with it. “You do not handle people like that! No wonder why you also have momm-”  

Spencer’s palm gently nudged me back onto the couch mid-sentence, leaving my frame to hit the cushions with a loud thud. A boom of laughter filled the empty space of my chest, my breath thinning as dopamine jumped from my brain’s synapses. An enchanted smile caressed the corners of my mouth mirroring the one Spencer was sporting.  

In these insignificant interactions, I would think back to the times where our comfortability was limited and reveled on how much our friendship grew over the years. There was a sense of solace that overwhelmed me knowing that introducing—and working on his—humor brought an auspicious light to the darkness that often clouded his mind.  

My lungs deflated with a hefty exhale, my arm slinging across my eyes in relaxation. Clamored feet and the rug shifting against the wood floor caught my attention. Freeing my line of vision, I was met with a raggedy-haired genius with barely a foot between us. I reached out to comb through his locks, the webbing of my hands catching the tangled curls. “You need to shower greasehead.”  

“Actually, the buildup of sebum and laloin in the gland of the hair follicles—coined as the sebaceous gland—offers moisture and protection, given that it is regulated upon its natural equilibrium.” Spencer leaned into the soft touch of my fingers, like how a kitten purrs against their owner’s affection.  

“Well, I don’t know about you almost-birthday-boy, but I don’t think you want to go into the next chapter of your life smelling like you just changed out of your first diaper.” I pushed myself up the couch, gesturing Spencer to the hallway bathroom. “This is the big 31!”  

“Y/N, we had a party for my 30th. I think I’m good to last for the decade,” he huffed, walking towards his bedroom to grab a change of clothes.  

“That’s not the spirit, Dr. Reid!” I yelled across the room. “I swear Spence, you’re the only person who’d turn down a party... And, you even turned down Rossi’s invitation to go all out in his backyard.”

“Another year to celebrate the ever-closing gap between my time on earth and my imminent demise—oh, and how can I forget celebrating it in an open space full of ticks and pollen,” Spencer sarcastically jested, his voice bouncing off the thin white walls.  

“At least you’d know your soulmate, right? Then I wouldn’t be the only one to deal with your ‘Debby Downer’ ass,” I added on, rolling my eyes at his usual pessimistic rulings.  

“I would prefer nihilistic, but if that vernacular serves you then to each their own.”

“Hey, maybe after you die, I and your soulmate can mourn over you—bond and all that—and then I can steal them away,” I teased.  

I looked to the lightning bolts etched into the crevices of my thighs, my fingertips tracing each design until it fell onto the carved words at my hip. In a way, the stretch marks made beautiful vines attached to the faded letters, covering the obvious red scratch marks that had resurfaced from my bad habits.  

I kissed my fingertips before planting them back onto the markings, chuckling to myself of the intimate gesture. Unconsciously, I began to rub at the tattooed words once again, hating how their protrusion made my skin crawl.  

“I mean I’m dead, what can I really do?” Spencer called out, stopping in his tracks when he reached the bathroom door. He faced me as he spoke, going on about his birthday celebration tomorrow—half of his speech unheard to me—until he requested my immediate attention. “You have to stop picking at the words, Y/N. You’re going to end up hurting yourself.”  

“I know, I know,” I sighed, letting my dominant hand fall to my side. A pout fell on my lips at the loss of the small satisfaction scratching granted me. “But the words are just so uncomfortable sometimes. I mean you got lucky with the whole soulmate placement.”  

Spencer brought his free hand to his chest, thumb tracing over the small words typed on the skin. “Yeah, I guess I did get lucky huh.” A soft smile grazed over his lips while his eyes were still trained on the unknowing figure resting against the couch.  

“What does your marking read aga-”  

“Spence, what’s it say on your che-”  

I groaned in playful disbelief at the coincidental timing. “You know at this point I’m starting to think we’re telepathic, Spencer.”  

“That’s actually what my tattoo is,” he laughed. “It’s my name.”  

“Oh yeah,” I nodded, remembering the first time we brought it up in the early days of meeting one another. “Must’ve saved a lot of name tags in elementary school” I teased.  

Spencer shook his head, shuffling into the bathroom with a lightness in his steps. With the closing of the door, my gaze fell onto the marking once again. 

 Regardless of the mechanics of soulmates, I was never worried about the possibility of not meeting them. I was already at my happiest knowing shared moments like these were good enough. However, unbeknownst to my ideal wishes, an irking desire still lingered in the back of my head while fingers hovered over the imperfect skin.  

October 28th

1 day before

“Kid, you can’t sit there and tell me that finding your soulmate can be ‘scientifically extrapolated.’ That’s not the point,” Morgan amusingly shook his head at Spencer, ruffling the top of his head as he brushed past him.  

“Okay,” Spencer tutted, “tell me. What ‘is’ the point then?”

“Well, all I’m saying is that finding your soulmate—if you have one—is supposed to come supernaturally.”

“Morgan, did you just try to win over boy genius here by talking about the supernatural?” With a tilted smirk, I nursed the half-filled flute between my fingertips. My gaze flickered over to a pleased brainiac sharing the same mischievous glint found in my eyes. I let my head fall back against the couch cushions, my eyes fluttering close to the sound of grown children bickering. 

 “Alright,” Morgan raised his hands up in defense. “All I was pointing out was that things like these can’t be solved by numbers and science.”  

“The same can be said about Newtonian physics, but look where we a-”  

Morgan flung a ball of crinkled wrapping paper Spencer’s way, aiming for his head. Spencer attempted to dodge the projectile—emphasis on attempted—only to have it hit him square in the face.  

“So much for those Newtonian physics, huh?” I teased while getting up to open another bottle of champagne. Spencer slouched in his chair, the paper cone hat on his head shifting to the side. A grimace replaced the smirk he initially wore, muttering about how he was going to get Morgan back.  

“Y/N! Bring that bottle over here when you’re done.” Morgan called out as I walked into the kitchen, pausing the ongoing discussion of the case we planned to tackle. “Also, bring another juice box for Reid here!”  

A chorus of laughter followed my ears which each step, a grin finding the corners of my lips. I rose to the tips of my toes to reach for the unopened bottle in the alcohol cabinet. I made my way to the freezer, taking out the bucket of ice I stored away hours ago. When closing the appliance door, my eyes landed on a picture magnetized to the surface.  

It was a physical reminder of the time that Spencer convinced me to dress up as Amy Pond, the eleventh doctor’s sidekick, for comic con. He too was dressed up in the doctor’s attire: a brown corduroy suit, a bowtie, and a sonic screwdriver. We both had silly grins planted on our faces, it seemed like nothing could tear down the joyous bubble we were in. Upon reflecting on the memory, the kitchen door swung open revealing a merry Spencer.  

“Hey, I was supposed to be getting you that juice box,” I joked.  

Spencer shook his head, pushing past me to get to the cupboard. “Very funny,” he droned, sarcasm dripping off his words. I leaned against the counter, setting the bucket of ice to the side. I analyzed his movements, noticing how often he fidgeted with his fingers or how his legs would clumsily turn inward at times.  

“You know,” he paused, turning around to face me, “In some countries ruled by military dictatorship, staring could be deemed as a call for execution.”  

I crossed my arms, challenging him. “Well last time I checked; we aren’t in any of those countries. Is that right, Dr. Reid?”  

“Unfortunately,” he chuckled. “Did you need anything?”  

“No, why do you ask?”  

“Well, by the way you were checking me out, I would think you needed something.” He sauntered over to the opposite counter across the kitchen, hoisting himself up on the granite. I watched as the casual smirk fell off his face after failing his initial attempt to sit. The second attempt proved to be better, although that didn’t stop me from rolling my eyes at his impotence.  

“You know,” I repeated his words, grabbing the champagne and ice bucket as I began to stroll out of the room. “I’m really starting to think you have a better chance at ‘extrapolating’ your soulmate rather than finding them.”  

“Wait!”  

I whipped around to face him with furrowed eyebrows. I nodded for him to continue, watching as a sly expression reappeared on his face. “You forgot my juice.”  

I sighed, setting the items back down on the counter before reaching for the fridge. “You are a grown man, Spence,” I gesticulated at the boy. I grabbed Spencer’s favorite sparkling water and left it aside. “You couldn’t get your own?” I raised my eyebrows at him, ducking out of the refrigerator door.  

He crossed his legs, still propped up on the counter. “Well, you did call me a five-year-old and it is my birthday,” he argued, shrugging his shoulders tauntingly.  

“I said that the other day, and considering it’s your birthday, that would mean you’d be old enough to conduct yourself,” I countered.  

“Actually, it’s grammatically inappropriate to say, ‘the other day’ when the event in question occurred yesterday,” he began to ramble. With an unimpressed nod, I began to slowly back away from the scene until I was abruptly stopped once again.  

“Wait!”  

“What!”

“You forgot to put it in a cup,” he meekly suggested, his face evident of mischief.  

“You’re clearly enjoying this aren’t you?” I groaned, shuffling towards where he was. “I’ll give you something to enjoy...” I whispered to myself.  

With a plan set in motion, I sauntered over to where Spencer sat. Once I was in front of him, I made sure to give no indication that I was moving beside him. Instead, I leaned forward, letting our chests press together as I reached up for a mug. I would be lying if I denied the faint blush warming up the apples of my cheeks or the tightness of my throat from this proximity. In a nervous hash, I could’ve sworn hearing Spencer’s breath hitch as my chin brushed against his neck.  

Feigning a confident disposition, I dropped back to the heels of my feet, finding myself to be inches away from the enamored and naive genius. “You need this?” I murmured, trying to maintain a collected tone of voice. However, Spencer did make it difficult with the intensity of his penetrating gaze or the way his breath fanned over my sensitive skin.  

For a lasting moment, I began to dissect the small specks of hazel hues in his eyes and how a dark pool of brown surrounded his irises. The tip of his nose was flushed in crimson and his mouth hung in what seemed like anticipation and hesitation battling it out. “Uh, yeah... thank you.” His Adam's apple bobbed as he gulped, linking his fingers with mine to take the mug.  

Without breaking eye contact, he set the mug aside and away from view. I opened my mouth to say something, but I soon discovered a dessert residing in the back of my throat. Slowly my composure unraveled, leaving me and Spencer in a purgatory of uncertainty and elation. I heard my heart thump against the walls of my ribcage as my eyes traveled to the parting of his lips, his tongue ever so often swiping against the skin.  

I shook my head out of the trance we were in, popping the hypnotic bubble forming around us. With a trepidatious smile, I gestured to the living room, suggesting going back out there. “Do you want to...” I tied my hands behind my back, stepping away from him slowly. He nodded in response; his mouth tightly pressed into an awkward line.  

With less than obvious movements, we both tiptoed our way back to the liveliness of the other room, soon forgetting about the juice and cup all together.  

-

“Bye guys, thank you for coming! See you tomorrow.” I politely bid everyone a farewell, sending them safe wishes home as they excited through the front door. “Pen, are you coming with us tomorrow?” I received a tipsy nod and a few stumbling feet, but nonetheless confirmation for the case. Spencer was to the left of me doing the same, enduring some last-minute birthday teasing from Morgan before he made his exit.  

With the slow creaking of the door, I leaned against the wood, letting my legs slowly slip down the floor until I was sitting. I tilted my head up, staring at an exhausted Spencer before making grabby hands at him. He snorted at the childlike request, aggressively pulling at my wrists until I landed into his chest.  

“Alright birthday boy, just because you’re older doesn't mean you can get all strong on me,” I warned, nuzzling my heavy head onto his shoulder. A pleasant silence surrounded us, our bodies maintaining an equal balance as we leaned onto each other. On another note, it reminded me of Newton’s principle of force that Spencer explained to me a few months back. How Newton’s cradle, a simple office trinket, exemplified conservation of momentum and energy. In this fragment of space, it felt like that with Spencer—it always felt like that: a comfortable momentum.  

“Hey Spence?”  

The quiet continued to spread throughout the atmosphere.

“Spencer?” I pressed my chin against his chest, feeling his arms find their way to my lower back. He hummed in response, his eyelids resting at a closed position. “I’m sorry about that thing in the kitchen... I was just messing around.”

  He took a while to react before sighing and pressing a tired kiss to the side of my head; with that, I knew things were okay. “Oh! I didn’t give you your present yet.”  

I melted away from his arms, scurrying off to the couch. In an exaggerated reveal, I pulled a small parcel from beneath the cushions, glee filling my eyes as I watched the bow on top spring out. I extended my arms towards Spencer, eager to have him open it.  

He walked tentatively towards me, taking purposefully leisurely strides. At one point he began to act like he was in a slow-motion sequence, causing me to threaten the integrity of his present. With raised hands, he sat next to me on the couch and gently pried the gift from my hands. “What did you get me this time? Let me guess. From the size and shape of his package here,” he turned the box around in his hands, shaking it up, “and the sound to force ratio-”  

“Just open the damn thing, Spence.”

He smiled at my usual impatience, letting his fingers glide against the edge of the parcel. Finally, with gentle hands, he picked apart the wrapping paper, careful not to rip the heart sticker that held the presentation together. He gathered the bow in his palm, and gently pressed the sticky side of the accessory to my cheek.  

I cringed at the feeling, but that soon dissipated hearing the mollified chuckle escape Spencer’s mouth. With a determined huff, Spencer pulled the last pieces of wrapping paper from the box and was left with a frayed book in his palm.  

“The Parliment of Foweles...” he whispered; an unreadable expression crossed his features.  

I curled into my own body, anticipating some form of reaction. “I... I remember you told me the first time we really sat down and got to know each other that your mom used to read that to you when you were younger.” I picked at the stitches on the couch, a lump forming in my esophagus as my tongue swelled. “It’s first edition...” I smiled, insecurity beginning to conquer my excitement from before.  

“Sorry, if you don’t like it... I was just-”  

A pair of arms pulled me into a secure embrace while a tender hand came around to cup the back of my head. An inaudible expression of gratitude was lost in between babbles of endearment and soft caresses. Spencer pulled away with pools of adoration, he clutched the book in hand as he pulled me under his arm. He ran his thumb along the deckles that adorned the sides of the pages, his palm tenderly feeling the roughness of the old woven spine.

To open the book, he singled out a random page and lightly flicked a few pages to the side before I halted his movements completely. “Wait!” I requested. “I want you to read it after the case so we can do it together,” I sheepishly tucked a hair behind his ear, hiding the careful blush on my cheeks. “If that’s okay with you.”  

“Yeah...that’s fine with me,” he breathed, his eyes locked onto the soft curves of my face. I pulled my hand away, tugging my sleeve further down my arm. “Oh! That reminds me.” Spencer places the book behind him and headed over the coat rack next to the front door. Sliding his hands through various pockets, he finally pulled a small box from one of the compartments.  

He tentatively approached me, turning the object in hand. “I know it’s my birthday, but... I wanted to do something because you’ve made everything better in these past years,” he confessed, fidgeting as he came closer. “Being with my mother always felt like home, and I just... you became that for me, so thank you.”  

My fingers reached over to his open palm, approaching the velvet box as if it was fragile. I glazed over its general shape, turning it a few times between my hands. “Spencer...I don’t even know what to say.”  

“Well, you can start by opening it,” he smiled.  

I shook my head, gently prying the box open. Inside laid a beautiful heart-shaped necklace with words etched into the metal. Once I read the words, a heavy breath escaped my lungs, and my shoulders lost all tension. “Spencer...”

  “I thought that it would be easier to have the words of your soulmate above your heart rather than you tracing over your hip,” he professed. “I also know that even if you deny not having any connection to this soulmate thing, it often brings you comfort when needed.”  

My attention went to him the second he uttered those words. “How did you know,” I mumbled with an enamored chuckle.  

“Well, whenever we’re in the field, I could tell the times you get nervous or need reassurance by the way you subtly touch your hip.”  

“I thought staring was punishable by death,” I joked, referring to his argument earlier today.  

He brushed it off with a wide smile, combing his hands through his hair. “I know we have a hefty case tomorrow based on what Penelope showed us last briefing, so I hoped that this would make you feel better,” he confessed, shrugging his shoulders and leaning back into the arm of the couch.  

“Thank you, Spencer...really,” I wrapped my arms above my head, trying to attach the unlocked chain around my neck. “Can you...?”  

With gracious hands, he lifted the chain from my fingertips and wrapped it around my neck. The skin of his fingers would occasionally brush the back of my neck, sending euphoric chills down my spine. I felt myself squirm under his touch slightly, although it wasn’t enough to be obvious. Lifting my hair to the side with his wrist, he clasped the necklace together, letting the cold metal kiss the skin.  

I turned around, appreciating the trinket in my hands. I shook my head in disbelief, watching as some of the moonlight that seeped through the window reflected off the metal. “Thank you, again, Spencer.” I nodded, bringing him into a meaningful embrace. My head rested in the crook of his neck, an aroma of pine, vanilla, and old books surrounding us. “This really is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever possessed.”  

He scoffed, gently wrapping his hands around the small of my back. “Everything pales in comparison to you.”  

-

October 29th

...

I twirled the metal heart in between my fingers as Hotch’s words failed to reach my ears. I would look up occasionally to see the pictures, but we’ve been dealing with an unsub who showed no mercy to anything morally reprehensible. I sighed, swinging my feet under me as I pretended to be enveloped by the case file in my other hand.  

“Since we’re dealing with a L.D.S.K-”  

“A long-distance serial killer,” Emily intercepted, nodding towards the team.  

“We’ll have SWAT patrol the surrounding rooftops. Emily and I will stay with the defense team here.” Hotch pointed to the house of the unsub’s target. “Morgan, Y/N, and Reid will go through the floors of the apartment building with the strike team—witnesses stated that he was located on the 5th floor, but we have to be ready for anything.”  

I looked over to Morgan with a determined expression. His face hardened at the words and his lips was pressed into a tight line. In my peripheral, I could see the way his veins would constrict against the skin as he clenched his fists.  

This case hit him particularly hard considering we couldn’t save the unsub’s last victim. It was a 4-year-old little girl, and we were misinformed about her possible location. By the time we got to her, she was faced down into a park well with a single bullet hole above her heart. I watched the slow diffusion of her blood, and how the water turned to a murky black. I couldn’t imagine Morgan’s guilt considering he was so sure of himself when reaching a breakthrough with the unsub’s whereabouts. The parents of the child would soon blame Morgan for his ignorance, spewing derogatory slurs in their distress.  

“We’ll get him Hotch,” Morgan assured, “This time, we’ll get him.”  

Spencer noticed the certitude in his voice, sharing a look with me to give extra attention to Morgan out in the field. I smiled at him, warmed at the concern that the genius had over his friend.  

“I’ll be working with local PD to hold a press conference to keep the public on the lookout,” JJ expressed, crossing her arms.

“Since...last time, we figured that unsub finds enjoyment in toying with us or singling us out. So, keep each other in check and make sure to report back in your earpieces every five minutes.” Hotch himself seemed perturbed by the unsub’s earlier actions considering he had his own toddler to deal with. “Penelope has sent the coordinates to everyone. Remember the profile, and don’t leave yourselves vulnerable. We’re dealing with an elusive unsub that won’t stop at nothing to satisfy himself,” Hotch spoke with a quiver in his voice.

  I bit the inside of my cheek and breathed heavily through my mouth. My hands began to drift to my hip but momentarily stopped as I remembered the chain around my neck. I slumped into the chair as Hotch dismissed the team, sending them out for their respective assignments.  

“You, okay?” I whipped around to the sound of JJ’s voice. She leaned against the doorframe with an expression full of concern. Looking behind her, she noticed Spencer noticeably pacing through the bullpen waiting for a specific someone. He attempted to disguise his eagerness by counting tiles on the floor or squares on the ceiling, but to JJ he was easily discernable.  

I let a dry laugh, shaking my head. “After what happened, I’m a bit worried—not about me��but Morgan and Spence.” I swiveled around in the office chair a few times until I landed in front of JJ.  

“You know you fidget the same way as Spence,” she pointed out, grinning at the similarity. I shook off the oncoming warmth that flooded the skin and looked elsewhere. “You’re right to worry about both of them though. But you know how stubborn and determined they are.” As she began to walk out, she left a lingering message that soothed my nerves. “Plus, Spencer may have that IQ of his, but we all know runs things between you all.”  

She wasn’t wrong. I’ve always kept a watchful eye over the both of them—maybe Spencer a little more—but nonetheless, I deeply cared about both of them. It was relieving to know that Spencer’s circle of trust exponentially grew from Morgan to JJ to me. It symbolized the growth that Spencer was mostly oblivious to, but it meant more to me than I can explain, seeing how he opened himself up to happier possibilities.  

A sharp exhale left my lungs while my lips formed into a sly smirk. Without another minute to wait, I left the round table behind JJ, leaving Spencer to stop dawdling. “You ready genius?” I walked out into the hall, not sparing a glance at the figure trailing behind me.

“With you? Always.”  

-

“Nothing here,” a voice confirmed in my earpiece. My gun hung low in my hands while I tiptoed through the floor of the apartment building. “You know Y/N, if I knew that the unsub was going to the pick a building in the area we resided in, maybe I would’ve considered having the party at Rossi’s instead,” Spencer joked.  

I bit the smile growing on my lips, focusing on the assignment on hand.  

“Maybe after the case, instead of reading that book in our apartment we can go over to that small library/cafe we’ve been meaning to go to,” he continued to drone, forgetting about the connection of everyone’s channels.  

“Reid, if all you’re gonna do is flirt with Y/N, leave the damn channel,” Morgan warned. Hearing the worry in his tone, Spencer straightened up, coughing to cover up his soft apology. Being separated didn’t help the irrational thoughts that built up in the back of my conscience; I can’t even comprehend what’s probably going through Morgan’s head.  

“You good?” I mumbled into the com; my eyes straightforward while I advanced towards the hall. Morgan didn’t respond, an inaudible huff coming through the speakers.  

“I’m moving up to the top floor. Y/N and Reid, go back down to the basement and see if we missed anything,” Morgan broke the awkward silence with an austerity in his words. The silent hum that came afterwards was worse than earlier. I turned off my earpiece, sensing a conversation about to ensue between the two gentlemen.

The thickness in the atmosphere was similar to the air that surrounded me and Spencer when competing in recreational chess. Whenever I attempted to put his king in check, he would block the move by maneuvering another piece in front of it. This would lead to a game of cat and mouse until I would figure out that the entire time, Spencer had been deluding me into false security while checking my king piece. Ultimately, I would lose to Spencer. However, there were games where I’d outmaneuver him or win by dumb luck.  

I’d like to think that I developed some sort of intuition for his behavior from playing against him, but he’s deemed unpredictable every game. He was always sharp, eight steps ahead and aware of all possibilities. I guess that’s what make him an effective profiler, always thinking in the future.

I ran down the stairs, still armed, when Penelope’s voice ran through the earpiece. “Updates! Updates people.” The joy in her voice always relived me of the gloom that usually surrounded me in the field; hopefully she has the same effect on Morgan.  

“Hey, Pen.” An invisible grin was evident in my words, knowing she’d pick up on it.  

“Hello, my love, seems like at least one person is happy to see me,” she verbally jabbed at the lack of response from Spence and Morgan.  

Still no response.  

“Sorry, they’re working out their marriage at the moment,” I teased, hoping for the usual distasteful comment I usually get from Morgan.  

Still nothing.  

An unnerving feeling crept up the back of my neck. “Penelope, can you check if their coms are still workin—shit.” Before I could finish, a long buzz of static came through the speakers. The only comprehensible words that were picked up was the beginning of my name before cutting off.  

I bit my lip, pulling out the small piece of technology and tapping it a few times. “Come on... dammit.” After playing around with the earpiece, I grew frustrated with it and stuffed it into my pocket.  

I paced in the small landing between the stairs, thinking of a new gameplan. I ran my fingers through the ends of my hair, feeling the split ends prick at the skin. I felt a mountain growing in at the bottom of my stomach, leaving my esophagus constricted without air. “What would Spencer do,” I mumbled to myself, gripping onto my necklace.  

“Spencer...Spencer...”  

Before I could finish the mantra, a shot rang out from above me, and the crashing off glass followed. In the split moment, my legs grew a mind of its own and sprinted to higher ground. Suddenly, the sweat perspiring off me turned cold, and my heartbeat slammed itself into my spinal cord as I ran. My feet forgot its exhaustion while my mind devoured every irrational thought, and combined it with adrenaline.  

The single thing that drove me over my limits was knowing that the person who fabricated and would shoo away these thoughts was somewhere I didn’t know I could get to in time.  

-

Spencer’s POV

I tiptoed into a vacant suite of the building, still antsy about the scolding I received from Morgan. The conversation after didn’t help considering it was all a reminder to be aware and focused on the task at hand. I knew Morgan was filled with the need for redemption despite the team forgiving him of his ignorance. So, I shook off the creeping feeling and abided by his instructions.  

Deciding to update Y/N and Morgan about my whereabouts, I spoke into the coms only to have static come out of it. I tried once again but failed to reach anyone. The room around me shrank as a sharp exhale left my lungs. I swallowed the buildup of saliva in the back of my throat, feeling uneasy about not knowing what’s to come.  

Seeing at the area was clear, I looked out of one of the windows. Initially I cringed at the accumulated dirt and grime in the glass panes, but that all dissipated when I spotted the quaint park that Y/N loved. No one else had any interest in the community lot, seeing as people would coin it—or what Y/N would tell me—the park of death. But to her, she saw the opposite as she always does.  

The light feeling of reminiscing my interactions with Y/N soothed the disconcerting atmosphere, keeping me grounded. Although the sentiment ended as soon as it started when I spotted one of the apartment walls was spray-painted with black letters.  

Zugzwang

A blaring shot rang out and glass shattered into the room. I ducked into the floor, shutting my eyes. My head spun as the boom impaired my hearing. The window was forcibly open, the shards resting beside me. Left disoriented, I groaned, only feeling the after wave of vibrations on the ground. However, I soon found out that the quake of the floor wasn’t from the initial shot, but the rapid clobbering of feet inching closer to the suite and a shadowy figure preceding it.  

Y/N emerged from the doorframe, panting. Eyes were laced in fear while they bore into my own. My stomach twisted into knots from previous events while I contemplated what had occurred. The presence of Y/N wasn’t even strong enough to relinquish the egging feeling crawling in my skin. I anticipated Morgan to appear, considering he was closer to the scene.

Where was he?

Another thing I didn’t anticipate, a second shot.  

“Spencer?”  

-

January 3rd

Three months after

My thoughts antagonized one another while I stared out into the world from the eerily quiet apartment. The living room was cold and empty despite the array of furniture scattered about and the broken picture frames lining the walls. The vapor rising from the cup of tea drifted into the air, vanishing into nonexistence. It’s funny how that could happen in a matter of milliseconds.  

The pain the lived inside the chambers of my heart was no match for the burning of skin I felt when holding onto the steaming cup. The only worthy adversary would be the rush of self-resentment that coursed through me when picking up the book. I deserved it though. I deserved the spikes through my stomach while my fingers trailed the deckled pages, reminding me of the first time I held the book, its previous owner present with me.

I would remember our time together.  

I would remember the promise shared between us.  

I would remember the bloodied handprint pressed against my chest.

Now all I had was the physical manifestation of what’s left: the necklace. As cruel as it was for me, I kept it in the book, using it as a bookmark while I lost myself into poems. After a while, the inked words lost their meaning to me, becoming an empty cacophony that encased the jewelry.

Every time I grasped the chain in my clutches, a numbed ache would make itself known at the pit of my stomach. It clawed at my intestines and made the entirety of my body system obsolete. With that, I was abandoned with the sinister hauntings of my own mind—a part of me that I was once praised for. 

 A genius. A prodigy. Hidden behind the real mess of a guilty man.  

I ignored the smashed chess board and pieces that laid still at my feet, concentrating on the snowflakes that littered the park across from the building. The grounds looked beautiful, covered in layers of pure white. I sipped at the tea once more letting my mind deteriorate with a sophisticated nonchalance. 

 What a tragedy it was to know my soulmate, especially right under the tip of my nose. What a cruel joke life had played.  

I wished I had more time.  

It was easier to let the guilt consume me rather than pondering on what I lost—who I lost. Had I lost myself too? Maybe, it didn’t matter. In some masochistic way, I enjoyed the guilt because it was a way to remember that at one point someone made for me existed. I used it to relive the moments I could never get back.  

All that remained was an empty shell of a man, staring out into a dull world, wondering how time took everything away from him.  

-

taglist: @rexorangecouny @howdycharlie @honeymilk-4 @linthebinbag @andreasworlsboring101 @ssareidbby @kyleetheeditor @fanofalltheficsx​ @jimilogy @lulwaxim @jhillio @m3ssytrash @haylaansmi @meowiemari @ashwarren32 @codyf3rnsupremecy @goldentournesol​ 

[princess-of-inarizaki]

Hello, can you do Karasuno, fukurodani and Nekoma with a reader. She really love bake and making sweet, she usually bring cupcake, brownies, Daifuku,.. for the team but she always make healthy food for the team (because she know that too much sweet is not very healthy). She has a small bakery shop, she usually invite the team come and she never take their money. She is very small and always smile cutely (cute like u), she don't talk much but her voice is very cute UwU

Hello Anon-chan!! This is such a sweet and adorable prompt, and I'd be honoured to do it. I might even make this part of a series because I love it so much.

Thank you so much for the compliment. I think you're so cute too 👉👈💖

Is it okay if I add Inarizaki to this too? :D

Sweetheart Bakery manager-chan

Characters: Karasuno, Fukurodani, Nekoma, and Inarizaki

Warnings: none :D

Karasuno

I think our darling sunshine Hinata would be the one to recruit you. He goes to your bakery shop one day with Kageyama, after practice, and orders two chocolate cake slices.

As you're cutting and plating it, he curiously asks you which school you're from, which you answer with “Karasuno”

His eyes literally sparkle up so bright and he smiles. “I'm from Karasuno too!!” and he begins chatting with you about school and volleyball.

“Hinata boke, what's taking you so long?” Kageyama walks up to the counter to see you talking to his friend, and he blushes, apologising.

You smile and tell them to enjoy their cake, waving goodbye.

From then on, the team often comes to your bakery after practice. Hinata started bringing the other first years besides Kageyama, like Yachi, Yamaguchi, and Tsukishima.

“I'm telling you guys!! She has the best cakes, they make me go uwahhh all the team” says Hinata excitedly, the first time he brought them over.

Tsukki loves your strawberry shortcakes, and sometimes even packs some for takeaway. You smile at him, liking him instantly, and even share your recipes with him.

The first years think of you as an angel, and they're close to you in class because you're always so kind and gentle.

One day, Yamaguchi suggests you become a manager so you'll be able to keep Yachi company when Shimizu-san graduates, and spend more time with them, your friends.

You immediately agree, since you're fond of Yachi, and high-five Yamaguchi, excited at the new suggestion of joining the team.

The next day, you bring a box of macaroons to the gym and softly and politely introduce yourself to the other members.

The first years (with the exception of Tsukki) immediately run up to you and give you a huge hug.

Daichi smiles and thanks you for your kindness to his teammates, and immediately accepts you as the third manager of Karasuno.

The whole team enjoys your macaroons after practice, and Tanaka and Nishinoya are incredibly impressed, taking pictures of the pastry to send their "city boy" friends in Nekoma.

As a manager, you are always soft-spoken and the team adore you very much, similar to Yachi.

You're also always bringing them to your small bakery after practices so that they can have a slice of cake, or a daifuku after a hard training session.

You never accept their money, and with a small smile on your face, tell them to dig in, and enjoy the dessert.

The team adores you very much, and would never let anyone harm you. You can definitely rest easy knowing the third years are always there if you ever need anything, the first years to protect you, and the second years if you're ever feeling lonely.

Fukurodani

I feel like Akaashi would have the hugest crush on you. He stumbles upon your adorable and quaint little bakery by accident, and after a stressful day of practice, and he's so thankful to see this darling little angel bringing him a slice of cake.

You seem to notice him, a customer and classmate of yours looking so unhappy, so you join him at his table with a small mug of hot tea. “Are you okay, Akaashi-san?” you ask softly. He shakes his head, but he's so touched by your gesture.

He starts coming by the bakery more often, because you calm him down and radiate such gentle and positive vibes. He's also began to get closer to you in school.

One day, you stop by the gym where he's practicing with the rest of the Fukurodani team to pass him a small box of cookies. You're stunned to see an owlish looking boy, inspecting you curiously.

He suddenly breaks into a huge smile and shakes your hand. “Hi!! I'm Bokuto! Why are you here?”

You softly explain that you want to pass something to Akaashi, and when he sees you, his face turns red and he walks to you and Bokuto. Akaashi bows deeply and blushes as you pass him the box.

Suddenly, Konoha spots you and smirks. “Oh Akaashi, you've been hiding her away for pretty long, haven't you?”

You nervously explain that you were merely Akaashi's friend, and that you owned a bakery near school, where he met you.

The team's all gathered around you at this point, and they collectively gasp after hearing you say that. They're determined to make you their manager now, after all, you can bake and you're obviously so small and sweet.

“But Konoha-san, we already have two managers.” says Akaashi, in desperate attempt to dissuade his friends, but their minds seemed to be made up.

“Y/n-chan, if it's okay, would you agree to be our manager?” asked a hopeful Bokuto, and his earnest expression was something you just couldn't refuse. You nodded shyly.

Since then, the team are so excited to have a new manager. Whilst Yukie and Kaori handle the strategical aspect of the game, you tend to the boys' needs by managing their nutrition and morale.

You're always there to put a smile on their faces through your soft and gentle gestures, and you're one of the few people who can cheer up an emo-mood Bokuto, which makes Akaashi love you all the more.

You also bake the boys cupcakes and cakes all the time, but are careful to use different alternatives to sugar and other ingredients which shouldn't be eaten in access.

You are, after all, very health conscious, and you try your best to make sure the team always feel good and healthy.

Bokuto loves carrying you around, since you're so small, and Konoho and Komi often visit your bakery too, and help you out sometimes, since managerial duties have filled your schedule.

In general, the team think so highly of their small, sweet manager, and they come up with nicknames for her related to the things she bakes, like "cupcake" or "shortcake"

It's very cute, and when you blush, they laugh and ruffle your hair, loving her more.

Very wholesome and adorable, and (similar to most Fukurodani manager fics), you're part of their family now. They'd do anything for you.

Nekoma

I think you somehow accidentally became their manager. You walk into the gym to pass some papers to the coach and he mistakes you for the person who's going to become the new manager.

“Ah, I've been expecting you!” you smile and hand him the papers and he looks confused, “you're here for the position, right?” not knowing what coach nekomata meant, you nodded and he looked satisfied. “Kuroo will show you the ropes” was all he said before ticking something off in his clipboard.

You walk over to Kuroo, and the confusion further intensifies, as you realize there's been a grave mistake, but you're too shy, and Kuroo seems to be too excited at the prospect of having a new manager. He keeps ruffling your hair and saying “You're going to have so much fun with us, y/n-chan!”

I guess I'm the Nekoma volleyball club manager now. You think quietly, trying to map out a new schedule to fit club duties and your bakery duties.

You get better acquainted with the team, and they're all so excited to have you, with the exception of a blonde boy who looked tired and frankly looked like he couldn't wait for practice to be over.

You bowed and exit the gym, running over to your beloved bakery as you frantically checked your watch. The team was puzzled at your hurried actions, and curious.

“Maybe we should—”, “no.” interrupted an uninterested Kenma. “We shall not snoop into our new manager's personal life.”

Kuroo pouted, but knew his friend was right, and walked home with him quietly.

The next day, Kai came early for practice, and since you were already there too, offered to help you understand some of your duties, when an excited Yaku ran into the gym.

He wasn't present yesterday when you officially became the manager, but he was here today, and he stopped in his tracks when he saw you. “You're from the bakery, aren't you?” asked Yaku with a look of awe.

The team was extremely impressed at having such a capable manager, who knew how to bake, manage her own store, and undertake managerial duties.

Kuroo was all the more excited, and he follows you to the bakery whenever he can, sampling the cakes and cookies, and helping you bake, all whilst singing the dorky periodic table song.

You warm up to your new team slowly but surely, and as they start becoming such a huge part of your life, you can't help but appreciate them for their individual characters and quirks.

They too, fall deeper in love with you, and go out of their way to show you they care and make you happy. Each member of the team comes by your bakery at least once a week on different days, to keep you company during the evening shift.

I also think that Kenma would try to remain cold and unbothered with you, but deep down he loves it when you stroke his hair and bake him cookies.

Lev is your baby, and he follows you around partly because you smell so nice, and partly because he's addicted to the calming vibe you have to you.

Kuroo would be so addicted to holding you close to him and sniffing you, because you smell amazing. Like lemon, and sugar, and baked goodies from your bakery, he's practically addicted.

You bake them cookies for their team games and training camps, and they love bragging to other teams about how their manager is the best, and how her cookies taste better than ones from any store.

Manager-chan just blushes quietly, grateful for that one tiny slipup, and accident which led her to become the manager of this group of crackhead angels.

Inarizaki

I might just make this a series in the upcoming future because I love this prompt so much hhhh.

You're assigned to be Suna's lab partner in class, and he's pretty glad, because you aren't one of his fangirls, and you're always so quiet and smart in class.

You grow to be close friends with Suna, because he's quiet, just like you are, and you're comfortable being yourself around him.

He realises you own a bakery one day, and ask you if he could visit, and you're more than happy to agree. You bring him to your beloved bakery after school one day, and let him sample all your cakes on display.

He's quiet about his reactions, but his eyes are expressive and he widens them after each taste, showing you how much he likes it.

He starts spending less time with the team, in favour of helping you with the bakery. The twins are obviously not happy.

“Suna, what're ya hiding from us?” groans Atsumu, with a pout. “yeah, as dumb as he is, he's right. Yer barely spending time with us afta' school anymore” says Osamu, visibly upset.

Suna just reassures them that it's nothing, and the twins, definitely not believing him, follow him after practice one day.

They see him walk into your bakery, wrap his arms around a girl, enveloping her in a hug, and then waiting by the counter. So he had a job, then?

The duo causally walked in the bakery, and Suna rolled his eyes. “I'm just helping my friend.” he said, as he gestured towards you.

The twins finally get a chance to look at you properly, and they think you're so adorable! You have a shy smile, and beautiful eyes, they can't stop staring, feeling warm and happy themselves.

“Would you like some brownies?” you ask them in a soft and mellifluous voice. “I baked them today.” and without waiting for a response, you cut them two thick slices and expected them to try. Atsumu and Osamu were still speechless, and quietly munched on the treat, their eyes not leaving your face.

“Yer adorable.” was all Atsumu managed to say, before blushing a deep shade of red. Osamu elbowed him, and bowed, thanking you for the treat.

You assured them it was alright, and refused to accept their payment. The Miya twins were now genuinely convinced they were in love. You can expect them to be so fond of you, and try to convince you a thousand times a day to be their manager.

You disagree at first, worried that it might clash with your duties at the bakery, but the twins assure you they'll help you here, and so will Suna, which finally makes you agree.

To be honest, they all just really want to spend as much time with you as they can.

You meet Kita, the day you hand in your application, and he inspects you, finally deciding that you were perfect for the job. He welcomes you to the team, and as expected, the other members fall in love with you and your shy and generous personality right away.

Suna's always there for quiet times with you, and sometimes the team finds the two of you asleep on the bleachers together, his head on your lap, before practice starts.

Osamu loves sharing recipes with you, and making you things to eat in his bento box. “Y/n-chan, I uh, I happened to have two onigiris in my bento, would you like one?” with the sweetest smile on his face.

Atsumu loves carrying you around, since you're so small, and telling you cheesy pickup lines. Although he dismisses them as jokes, he's secretly hoping you'll realise he means them all. Very protective of you too! His fangirls don't dare hurt you, in fear of him.

Kita appreciates how wonderful you are, and finds himself thinking about the way you tuck your hair behind your ears, or look so focused when you're baking something, determined to do a perfect job. It's only when he's up till three does he realise he might be in love.

Aran is always there to help you carry anything, or lessen your burden with managerial duties. Although you've assured him countless of times that it's fine, he insists on helping you with anything he possibly can!

And finally, Akagi brings out the giggly side of you, which definitely flusters all the boys. Seeing their adorable manager giggling when Akagi is telling her a funny story? Priceless.

You always bring them baked goodies during practice and allow them to visit you in the bakery anytime they want. If they're not at the gym, they're definitely at the bakery. It doesn't matter to them, as long as they're near you.

Are worried to have you follow them on training camps, but you assure them it'll be fine, and always remain their comforting and sweet manager to congratulate them after good games, and comfort them after bad ones.

Each and every one of them love you with all their heart, and dedicate all their wins to you in hopes of making you proud.

Taglist!! ~ @k-sakusa-old @osamusriceballs

[favefandomimagines]

Join the Club (b.b.)

Summary: two ticking time bombs find solace in each other 

AN: had my self a little Captain America triple feature today and I miss bucky barnes so enjoy lol also since we haven’t met any of the other marvel universe characters, the reader has Magneto’s powers, do with that what you will

taglist: @amourtentiaa

There were many words people used to describe you. Asset, liability, crazy, tortured. The list went on and on and those were words you were accustomed to hearing for so long. 

Growing up as an enhanced individual made you a social periah from the get go. You always thought you were a freak and that there was no one else like you.

You thought there was nowhere or no one that made you feel wanted until you met a small mob family in New York City. They told you you’d be the number one asset and ‘part of the family.’ But they used you. Used you to kill people and if you showed any hesitation, they’d torture you with various weapons. None of them metal so you couldn’t fight back.

The only way to escape was killing them all. And again, you were back to feeling like the outcast and now a murderer.

Until Tony Stark himself recruited you for a ‘mission’ of sorts. 

He showed up at your apartment and asked for your help. And who were you to say no to Tony Stark? 

“I’m nothing special, Mr. Stark. I’ve done some really bad things.” You told the man. The billionaire was sitting across from you on your living room couch as you fiddled with the tea cup in your hand. “On the contrary, Y/N. You have the ability to anything with metal in it. That’s a gift. You did what you had to do to survive. I know all about your past.” Tony said. 

“You’re probably the first and only person who thinks that.” You said. “I need your help. Captain Rogers and I had a falling out and I need you to help me stop him from making a huge mistake. And then you can come work for Stark Industries.” The man told you. 

You looked at him for a moment when you realized you had nothing left to lose.

From that day on, being at the Avengers compound had made you feel like a little less of an outcast. You had Wanda, who you sparred with a few times. Using your powers of course. Clint made you laugh and had a paternal sense about him that you could tell came from having three children. He was obviously a natural at it. 

You played pranks on Steve and Sam, giving their signature shield and flight suit were made out of metal. And then there was Bucky Barnes. The infamous Winter Solider that you have heard numerous stories about. 

You felt bad for him. He was used as a pawn in someone’s screwed up game and faced the consequences for it every single day. You could relate to that on a lot of levels. You were quite the insomniac and had issues falling asleep so you ran into him in the kitchen on a few occasions. 

He told you about the night terrors and how every time he closed his eyes he saw all of the terrible things he had done. Every single thing HYDRA had him do and every person they had him kill. From that point on, you and Bucky had formed a bond. A bond that soon surpassed the levels of friendship and blossomed into a romantic relationship.

Bucky had told you that you sleeping next to him seemed to be the only thing that stopped his past from haunting him in his sleep and you soon spent many nights in his bed. 

You and Bucky had went to bed like it was any normal night. You showered and laid in bed for a few hours before the both of you had drifted off to sleep. But your insomnia struck again and you slowly got out of the bed and made your way to the kitchen. 

After making a small cup of tea, you stepped back into the dark bedroom, cup in hand. You assumed Bucky was still deeply asleep but were quickly proven wrong when you felt a hand wrapped around your throat and your body was pushed against the wall.  

The cup left your hand and shattered to the floor but the sound wasn’t enough to knock Bucky out of his trance. “Bucky.” You croaked out. 

“Bucky, it’s me.” Your voice strained, trying to pry Bucky’s hand off of your neck. You looked down at your free hand and used all of the strength you had left to focus on Bucky’s metal arm and soon you felt the oxygen hit your lungs as he was thrown across the room. 

But oxygen wasn’t enough to keep you awake and alert. You fell to the ground and completely lost consciousness. 

__

When you woke up, you were back in your own bedroom. Steve was sitting in the chair in the corner asleep, in a position that looked rather uncomfortable. 

“Steve, wake up.” You tried to say, your voice coming out hoarse. The man stirred and woke up, seeing that you were awake as well. “Y/N, how are you feeling?” He asked. “What happened?” You asked. “Bucky, he, uh, had a night terror. He must have been startled and he tried to kill you.” Steve explained. “No, no I know that. Where is he?” You questioned. 

“We don’t know. After he came to get Nat and I he just took off. Said that he was too dangerous to be around you.” The man answered. “I have to go find him. He didn’t mean to hurt me.” You said, moving to stand up. “Are you sure? You were completely drained of energy.” Steve rebutted. “Yes, I’m sure. Bucky thinks he’s a monster and now he probably feels even worse.” You explained. 

Steve sighed as he also rose to his feet. “I’ll help you find him. You’re important to him and if anyone can talk to him it’s you.” He said. You gave him a grateful smile as he helped you stand. 

You hacked into every traffic and public camera you could and discovered that he had taken a Greyhound bus to Washington DC. “Why would he go to DC? That’s a five hour bus ride.” You asked Steve. “The Smithsonian. They have an exhibit there and he has his own display.” Steve answered. “Then we’re going.” You ordered. 

Five hours later, Steve dropped you off at the museum and you began your search for Bucky. And it wasn’t too difficult to find the exhibit on Captain America. You wandered around and examined the photos and read the plaques when you stumbled upon a man standing directly in front of the exhibit for James Buchanan Barnes. 

You noticed that he had been standing there longer than most of the patrons and you could sense it was Bucky. Approaching him slowly, you maintained your distance as you stopped next to him. 

“You look good with short hair.” You commented, looking at the photo. Bucky looked over at you with a pained expression before you finally made eye contact with him. 

HIs gaze shifted downwards towards your neck and he clenched his jaw upon seeing the dark purple bruise around it. 

“How’d you find me?” He asked.  “Well, I found out you took a bus to get here and Steve connected the dots.” You answered. “Why are you here, Y/N? After what I did?” Bucky questioned. “Because it was an accident. You didn’t mean to have night terrors.” You said. 

“I could have killed you. I’m a monster.” Bucky said. “Join the club.” You replied. “You’re not the only Avenger on a redemption arc, Barnes.” You added, slightly agitated as his self loathing. “What do you mean?” Bucky asked. 

You looked at him for a second before looking back at the picture of him. “I killed my mom. It was an accident but I did. We were arguing on me not wanting to go to Saturday detention at school. I refused to get in the car and I got angry. So angry, my powers went out of control and I crushed the car with my mind. It was so bad my aunt told the police it was a hit and run. I had to stage my mother’s death because I was the one who killed her. Then I joined a mob family as their personal hit man because it was the only way I could survive. Even then, if I didn’t comply they’d torture me with plastic weapons because then there was no way I’d be able to fight back. I killed all of them the second I could.” You confessed. 

You hadn’t told anyone but Tony about the real reason you had been on your own since you were 16 and your own past demons. You didn’t tell Bucky but you always told him you understand how it felt to be out of control. 

“You didn’t mean to do it.” Bucky spoke. “I know. Just like you didn’t mean to hurt me. You weren’t in control because you still thought you were the Winter Soldier. It wasn’t your fault.” You said. 

“There will always be a part of us that emulates our past whether we like it or not.” You added. “I just, I can’t risk hurting you again.” Bucky replied. “I know you’re afraid but you’re not going to hurt me again. Not if you don’t let what they did to you control you. You’re stronger than them, James and you’re the one in control now. Not HYDRA.” You said.

Bucky looked at you with a sense of adoration. No one had ever treated him with such compassion before. Steve and Sam used the tough love tactic and Tony would just show him zero pity. But you treated him with care and love and no one had done that before since he escaped HYDRA.

“You’ve never told me about your past before.” Bucky finally said. “Because I was afraid. You’d find out I wasn’t the clean and shiny Y/N you thought I was when we met. That you’d not want to be with someone with a damaged past.” You explained. “I love you because you’re you not because I thought you were clean and shiny.” He said.

Your head snapped up from the floor to look at him with wide eyes. He had never told you that before and you didn’t know if you were hearing things. You had told him you loved him and you knew he wasn’t ready to say it back. You understood. Those feelings don’t come lightly after one has the past Bucky has had.

“W-What did you say?” You asked. “That I love you.” He confirmed. “You’ve never told me that before.” You said. “But I mean it. I haven’t felt this way for anyone before.” Bucky said.

You stepped closer to Bucky and wrapped your arms around him tightly. Whatever tension Bucky was feeling instantly melted away and you felt his body soften.

“You’re gonna be okay, Buck. I promise.” You whispered.

Bucky held on to you like a lifeline and you held on to him and for the first time since Bucky escaped HYDRA, he truly believed he was going to be okay.

[bottledemotion]

Our Twisted Faith (Soulmate AU Headcanons w/ Scenarios)

- Reverse soulmate au where the words written to ur skin is ur last words to them.

- Pairing: Zhongli X g.n reader,

- 3.9k+ words; Rated T

- warning/s: angst, character death

- A.N: This was supposed to be a full on oneshot fic but I can't fully write most of my ideas rn so I decided to list all of those (hcs or not) instead and write certain scenarios I thought off. Ngl, I have a hard time writing them in character, most of all when they're still not much accustomed to their emotions/feelings, so forgive me if they might come out OOC to you.

- For as long as he can remember, soulmates exist before the Gods.

- Before the ashes rise and form their body. Before the letters mold to create their name and have been spoken in unfamiliar languages. Before their feet take a step forward to their world, the concept of soulmate is already there. Watching, guiding and toying everyone's faith like a marionette doll.

- Which is why they also have a soulmate waiting for them.

- You could say that this is the 'only' similarity between the humans and gods hold. But unlike humans, the Archon's soulmate existence is different from the humans. Some of the Archon's other half doesn't exist even after many eras have passed.

- And one of them is Morax.

- Morax sees this concept as another form of contract. A contract that unified both individuals that both parties will benefit happiness, be it through the present and beyond. Yes he's aware that there's no 'consent' nor knowledge to both parties about this. But they can talk more about this once they meet.

- And maybe, just maybe, the contract will be fully formed.

- For an Archon who is known for being an emotionless, merciless god who slaughtered countless innocents in order to fulfil the contract. He also craves the feeling of happiness, everyone does, no matter how many times you deny it.

- he won't admit that this is also one of the similarities that human and gods hold. For human are way cruel than Archons above, cruel in their own way.

- So he waited for them. He studied the concept and terminologies about soulmates. To learn more about the contract so he can come prepared when the time comes for them to meet.

- He found out that there are many ways to find your soulmate. Be it through a time limit or name written on their skin, eyes that can only see the color of their other half eyes and many more.

- He found out that soulmates don't have to be romantic, it can become platonic and enemies as well.

- At first, the possibility of his soulmate being his enemies for life might happen. He's so used to betrayal and the blood that stained his hands, be it in or out of contract. But whenever his amber eyes gaze at the words written on his right wrist, be it through his dragon or human form, he can't help but be at ease and that everything will be fine.

- But those thoughts shattered when he found something through his learning. Something deep and brutal that he can't help ask why life has to be this cruel than it already was.

- Reverse soulmate. Sweet but deadly, bittersweet if they may. Yes you have and met your soulmate, but your faith with them is not beautiful to watch it bloom. This is a very rare occurrence for someone to have.

- And one of them is had to be him

- Because there, on his skin, he found out that the words written will be the last thing his soulmate will say to him before dying. Written in (F/c) with warm yellow star dust that glows in the dark sprinkled on the words. The words it said directed to him when his lover slowly disappear on the world is

- "I love you."

- He can't help but ask if this is a divine punishment given to him for all of the things he had done.

- He faced many enemies. Many betrayals. Spilled blood that became the exact same colour of his scales, be it through his claws or hands. Known as the God of wars, God of contracts to many. Yet he can't face this future that might will ruin him.

- But a contract is a contract, no matter if it's fully formed or not, it is still a contract. And as a God of Contract.

- He must fulfill his part and duty.

- From dusk till dawn, he waited for his soulmates to step foot on the world. Even after many eras had passed. Even after a war broke out. A nation had fallen. Blood had spilled and stained even the glaze lilies he adored watching so much with someone. Many bodies, comrade or not, loved ones or not, had been fallen along the betrayal and salt on the ground and buried deep down on the grounds. He continued waiting.

- And during his wait, he met someone along the way.

- A traveler who stumbled themselves on his nation. A traveler whose heart is weak but eyes shine, full of energy. A traveler who's spending their remaining time traveling around the world instead of looking for a cure to their condition.

- And a traveler who the very first time, just sat next to his statue.

- At first, Morax grew curious. It's not everyday to see a mortal walking to his nation without looking or asking for something for him to gain despite the obvious need from it.

- maybe that's what get his full attention when his amber eyes first landed to the traveler

- So he watched them from the statue on where they accompanied him. Silently accompanying them on their last remaining days on the land. He watched the travelers' bright (e/c) eyes watch the clouds part ways on the sky until it slowly turn to a sea of stars at each seconds passed by.

- Each day has passed. Watching them from the distance that are so close yet so far away, he noticed little things about them.

- He noticed how quiet yet soft their voice is when they hum under their breath. How the light of the sun and moon compliments their (s/c) skin. How tempting to run his fingers to their (h/l) (h/c) hair that dances with the air every time the Mondstadt Archon, Barbatos, caresses it with the wind, silently accompanying them from time to time like what he's doing.

- It's quiet yet peaceful. It's a sudden change that's somehow refreshing and comfortable. He didn't expect to feel this light feeling again after everything that had happened in the past. It's perfect but at the same time scary. Change never last, it always continue to change no matter how many time it occurred.

- And he was right when one day the traveler finally spoke to him.

- And it is a question he never expected to hear from a mere mortal

--------------------------------

"Are you tired?"

'Tired from what?', is what he wanted to reply but immediately remembered that the traveler didn't know that he's there beside them, listening and accompanying them on every tick of the time.

"Bound by the contracts you agreed on. Chained to your duties, responsibilities and even guilt that you hold on your shoulder. Never taking a break from it and instead keep moving forward no matter how heavy those burdens you carry it all alone despite the people who worship and swore to protect you and the city are all around you."

He heard them take a deep breath and continued.

"You've already finished your duties to your land, did you ever think or ask yourself to call it a day and take a rest?"

Morax breath hitched at the words. And a memory immediately played on his mind.

He remembered he was strolling along the harbor when he heard a merchant tell one of his workers, "You've finished your duties, go ahead and call it a day."

He remembered he stood motionless among the sea of crowds as soon as he heard those. From there, he asked himself, "Have I already finished my duties?"

From there, no one answered his question

"Bearing it all alone...Aren't you tired and lonely from it?"

Even though the traveler never expected a response from him, he can't help but whisper his answer and hope-

"Yes."

-for the wind to let them hear his loneliness.

--------------------------------

"I guess I can say I relate to you. Being tired I mean."

Morax slowly opens his eyes and turns his way to you. It's one of the days where you suddenly talk again after days of being quiet and just be in peace which he didn't mind one bit.

He didn't know how it happened. The peacefulness in this place and between you is another sudden change that he didn't mind one bit. It became his sanctuary. Free from the titles he holds, free from duties, free from responsibilities.

Or maybe just being by your side is a sanctuary to him.

He slowly shakes his head and turns his attention back as soon as your timid voice reaches his ears.

"From my entire life, all I feel is pity and hesitance to be closer to me from others. I can't blame even them. Who would want to be friends to someone whose death is waiting on their doorstep?" You said with a humorless laugh

'I would.' he wanted to say but remain silent instead.

He saw you hug your propped up knees and draw them closer to your face, hiding your beautiful face from his eyes and to the world.

"I accepted my faith that I won't last from this world. I'm so tired of being treated like a fragile glass that will be broken at any second. All I want is to live my best from it and maybe have someone to share those experiences with me till my last dying breath."

He saw your grip tightened to both of your knees

"I wonder....what it feels like....to have someone treat you like a human than a fragile doll...."

He noticed your voice getting dimmer and dimmer at each word you spoke.

"Do you ever wonder what it feels like...to be not alone anymore?.."

No words came out from you after that. Only the wind and your silent cries comfort both of you after the one-sided talk.

He didn't know what to do. How to fully remove the pain and burdens on your shoulder and heart when he didn't know how to ease his in the first place? Despite many people's proclamation that a God can perform a miracle without limits, not all God can do those. Not everyone is known as a God of Miracle.

Not Barbatos, not him.

In the end, they're a God with limitations.

But the one thing he knows is that he can't help but want to feel it too. To have someone by his side again. So why not both of you experience it together?

If he can't destroy the burdens you both hold, both can help ease each other's burden instead.

This will be the first time he did something out of will and no contracts involved

--------------------------------

- So after that, he starts walking around in Liyue in his human form. The one he used a long time ago that was now carved into one of the Seven Statues but with little changes.

- Everything about his appearance remains, even the tattoos on his arms and the amber tips from his long dark brown hair that glows whenever he uses his Geo powers remains there. The only difference is the way he dresses. Instead of his typical white robe with a hood and long wide pants, he now wore a long dark brown coat with silver shoulder pads, tassels, and a diamond symbol on the back. He also wears gloves to hide his arms with a silver ring on his right thumb. He also wore a formal dark gray shirt underneath his coat, black pants and leather shoes and a tassel earring on his left ear.

- Meeting the traveler again with his human form was easy. He also didn't take that long for them to befriend them. The only problem to the befriending part, is the name he'll use to this era.

--------------------------------

He did not think this through.

He can feel his human hands from his side start to sweat under the gloves. His amber eyes refuse to stare back to your bright ones as soon as you ask him a question that he forgot to think through."

"What's your name?" Is what you asked from him.

A simple question that can be easily answered, but if you asked that question to a God, it's one of the hardest questions they ever heard. Stepping fort to his nation in a new era after years already passed, he must think of a name that'll be different to the one's he used to own in order to avoid confusion and misunderstanding. Who knows, he might encounter people who are still aware of the old names he used.

For an immortal Archon who can mold themself to different forms, humans or not, make money itself from his own hands and submit mortal beings, thinking up names is not his forte.

He can feel your stare burning from his entire being, waiting to answer with a smile.

And he almost did not surpass the shiver that wants to crawl itself out from his body.

He slowly turns his eyes back to you and immediately regret it. Your bright (e/c) eyes greet his amber ones, eyes full of anticipation, and happiness to probably making a new friend.

He can't help but cleared his throat to have a reason to turn his eyes away to you

"It's...." He started and darted his eyes around them for something, anything to use of a name to this era.

"Try our new food from the Wangmin Restaurant!"

"Chop Suey!!'

"Try betting your luck on jades?"

"Why don't you try checking out the Chungli store stand near Wangshu Inn?"

His eyes lit up to one name, it's-

"Chungli." He said with a straight face

He watched you turn your head to a side "Chungli? Isn't that a store at Wangshu Inn?"

He mentally facepalmed. Of course you're aware about that because you're a traveler. But it's normal to name your child in your store right? He decided that he'll use that name, for now.

He opened his mouth. The confirmation is on the tip of his tongue but it got cut off when you immediately gasped loudly, making him step away from you with mouth still hanging a bit open and amber eyes widened and staring back at yours who's also wide but not from shock, but from....realization?

"You meant Zhongli right?!"

He immediately closed his mouth. Zhongli. Huh, the name is not bad, better than the one he was about to use.

Having decided, he nodded his head to you and raised his hand in front of you.

"Yes. I'm Zhongli." He confirmed, voice deep with a hidden feeling of pride that bloomed when he said the name you made for him.

He never took notice or thought about why he felt so proud of the name you gave to him. But as time went by, he finally knew why.

You smiled at him, a smile that's so contagious he can't help but smile back to you.

You grab his hand. Despite the gloves he wore, he can still feel the warmth along the roughness of your (s/c) hand caressing his.

"I'm [Name]. It's nice to meet you!" You said and shook his hand.

With a shake from your intertwined hands. Both of your faith has been sealed.

After that, he'll regret not telling you that meeting you with his human form was a nice change. He'll regret not telling you that finally talking to you after the years of silently being by your side is one of the happiest memories he treasured about you despite it's challenge. He'll regret not telling you that your eyes are so beautiful up close. He'll regret not telling you that hearing you say that name you basically created for him , is also not bad. He'll regret that he never admitted to you that he wouldn't mind hearing you saying that name to him everyday, as long as time let you stay breathing next to him. He'll feel all of this when you're laying on a bed, looking at him with your bright yet dull eyes, wheezing out your last breath next to him.

--------------------------------

- After he introduced himself in his human form but with different name, Morax- now know as Zhongli -accompanied you to your on Liyue.

- At first, it's awkward. You both walk around in Liyue, side by side but rarely talk to one another. Though you both began to warm up to one another when you both approached certain areas that you became curious off that brings certain memories of him that he can't help but say it.

- As soon as he noticed you taking great interest in the stories he spoke. He decided to continue telling stories about the area's you both go through, even the histories and what you need to know and become aware of. In short, he basically became your walking encyclopedia traveling buddy.

- As time continues to pass by, your relationship to one another grows closer. Every day is another day to spend time with you. Traveling with you, he starts to enjoy walking in his nation again.

- One of the favourite part of his day with you is sitting with you on Qingce Village while watching the meadow full of glaze lilies bloom as the sun goes down on the horizon. It's beautiful to watch glaze lilies bloom while the fireflies surrounds them. It became one of his fondest memory he'll never forget.

- He'll never forget how your (e/c) eyes became so at awe at the glaze lilies. He'll never forget how your (s/c) hand caresses one of its petals until it caresses his hand next to yours. He'll never forget how your hand fits so perfectly to his. He'll never forget the weight of your head from his shoulder, your breath and (h/c) caressing his neck and shoulder, and the kiss he placed on top of your head. He'll never forget those, even as the meadow full of glaze lilies are gone and rarely bloom and your presence missing next to his.

- If there's one thing that he has forgotten, it's the soulmark that's written to both of your wrists. Too busy on what's in front of you, too busy to indulge your presence until your borrowed time slowly comes to its end. Forgetting the words written in (f/c) became one of his biggest mistakes as he slowly wallows in regret as soon as he remembers it too late, right on the time where it's time for you to go.

------------------------------------

"I forgot to say thanks to you."

Zhongli heard what you said despite your voice being quiet, too quiet for his liking. He didn't turn to face your way, afraid that if he did, it'll be hard for him to turn away anymore, afraid that tears will come out of his eyes, afraid that it'll be hard for him to let go of your hand that slowly loosen its strength. 

But he's listening. He's always listening to you, even if you're not talking anymore he still listens to you.

"For as long as I can remember, I accepted my faith that I won't last from this world. The people around me all look at me in pity. It's suffocating, it's tiring to see the same sad look plastered on their faces every time I came near them. All my life, I always wanted to have someone by my side to share my journey in this world but no one wants to. I'm used to it, I even thought that no one would really bother to turn their way to me."

Zhongli felt the bed shift, and (e/c) stare boring to his hidden face.

"But you did."

He heard you sniffle "You turn your attention to me. You walk your way to me. You talk to me. You gave me friendship that no one dared. You gave me experience, happiness on my journey and I'm so, so glad I met you and will be with you on my journey."

He heard you hiccup "but at the same time....Sad because you have to bear the grief and loneliness alone once I'm gone."

He tightened his hold to your hand.

"I'm sorry yet at the same time not, that I met you. Is it bad of me to feel happy that there's someone here who will miss me once I'm gone?"

You laughed. It came out force like your wheezing the breath left from you.

"All in my life, I felt so alone. So when you came in my life, it's like the Geo Archon listens to my prayers even though they don't have to."

Zhongli noticed your breath starts to get slower and slower. He noticed your hold to his hand getting weaker and weaker. He noticed your voice getting quiet and slow. He always noticed those yet he can't do anything to prevent those from anything. What only he can do is accompany you, to ease your burdens so you can leave peacefully from this world.

But he can't help but release a shaky breath. He can't help but hold your hand tighter to the point it's crushing your hand, yet you didn't voice out your pain. His hand that's holding yours starts to shake but neither of you point it out. 

He knows you're leaving today. Time is ticking, and there's nothing he can do to stop it.

As soon as he felt your hold loosen completely, he knew the time was up.

But before you left, you said the words he never expected you to say.

"I love you."

You wheezed before closing your dull (e/c) eyes and hid it for the world to never see again.

You left him sitting next to you. Now looking his way to you with wide, foggy amber eyes. Not even Guizong, his first lover despite both having a different soulmate, didn't say those to him in her dying breath.

From his dilemma, everything clicks into place. 

You were his soulmate. And he realized those too late.

And the only he can do is cry. For the person who's gone. For the words he never gets to say to you. For the things he never got to do and express to you. 

For the love he never gets to reciprocate.

Now he knows as to why you don't have any soulmark like his when you told him you both have the same way to find your soulmate despite the lack of soulmark to your (s/c) wrist.

Because he can't die to begin with.

------------------------------------------

"The glaze lilies look so beautiful tonight. Don't you think?"

Zhongli whispers while his stare still focuses on the flower blooming next to his statue. The flower really looks so beautiful at night, reminding him of the meadow where he used to hang out with someone from his side. 

He unconsciously rubs his thumb to his right wrist, where the words used to be in (F/c), now turn into a dull black ink.

"Zhongli!"

Zhongli placed his hand back to his side and slowly turned his attention to the people who called for him.

He watches them wave their hand to him. "Zhongli! The Lantern Rite will start soon! Let's go back!" Their companion, a mysterious fairy who called herself as 'Paimon' called.

He nodded his head in their way. With a one last longing stare at the glaze lily, he walked away to the place where he first met you.

If you ask him again what he regrets, is that never gets to say the words he always wanted to say to you. He never gets to say how being with you made his dull life full of new experiences and adventure that made his life more fun to bear with. He never gets to say how he relates to you when he first met you. He never gets to say how beautiful you up close.

He regretted saying "I love you" to you too late

-I ACCIDENTALLY UPLOADED THIS WITHOUT EDITING IT! So for the people who saw this early (the unedited version one) and expect Xiao in it, I'm so sorry!! .·´¯`(>▂<)´¯`·. I'll write his version soon! (since he came home on my main and second acc lol) After I'm done writing the part 2 of the Venti X Female Bard reader,,

- I used all of my remaining braincell and got tired writing this on the ending, so you'll notice the ending is a bit bland?? Again, I'm sorry for that. I hope you still enjoy reading this though! (╥﹏╥)

[solarwonux]

36. “I’m not naming our child after a book character, let alone from my least favorite book.” “Why not?”

37. “I think you’ve had enough to drink today.”

husband!joshua x f!reader

genre: fluff and a little bit of angst 

w.c: 2.1k

warnings: alcohol, drinking, hints at infertility, mentions of a surrogate, self doubt, hints at depression, mentions of therapy, brief mention of poly!gyuchan,  IVF treatment, suggestive, a cat named dog and a dog named cat, reader isn’t a fan of Shakespeare.

notes: this one’s a heavy one, but I wanted to challenge myself with this one. I did do some brief research as I was writing this one but I still could’ve gotten something wrong, so if I did let me. Either way, I’m grateful for those who read and please please please let me know your thoughts. Enjoy.xx

MASTERLIST || PROMPTS

Joshua threw his head back downing the shot of soju. His face twisted in displeasure, hissing at the bitter taste. He sets the glass down wiping his plump lips with the back of his hand before pointing a finger at you. 

“What about Elizabeth, like Elizabeth Bennet from Pride and Prejudice?” Joshua asks, grabbing the green bottle of soju and pouring himself another shot. 

You cross your arms in front of your body and lean back against the dark navy booth. “Nope, try again.” 

Joshua let’s out a sound of annoyance before downing another shot. He doesn’t let the acrimonious taste settle in on his taste buds before he’s pouring himself another one and downing it. The two of you knew it was going to be a long night. Time was ticking, your surrogates due date was approaching and neither of you had picked out a name for your daughter. 

Truthfully, her name should’ve been chosen months ago. At least that’s what you and Joshua had planned during the first trimester of the pregnancy. But every time the topic came up, the two of you would end up frustrated and running back to the drawing board. You had names picked out, so did he. Neither one felt right. It also didn’t help that throughout the eight and a half months of the pregnancy a sense of guilt would wedge its way into your veins.

According to the many doctor’s you and Joshua consulted throughout the first year of your marriage. Your body wouldn’t be able to carry a child until full term. It had impacted you negatively. Your mental health was never up to par twenty four seven, but during that year - the year that was supposed to be filled with happy memories with your newly wedded husband; your mental health was at its worse. Memories that were supposed to be happy and colorful were black and white. You spent every waking moment dreaming about your child and feeling like a failure all at the same time. 

Joshua would hold you every time you cried out in agony. Each sob that came out of your lips would find its way and break his heart even further. He felt worthless not knowing what to do as he sat and watched the light get sucked out of you. He was hurting too, there wasn’t a doubt left in his head that he somehow shared your pain. But he couldn’t begin to imagine what it felt like to be told over and over again that your body will never be able to carry a child. So he held you and prayed for a miracle every night. He loved you more than anything in the world and although he found himself frustrated whenever you treated yourself like you were worthless or nothing. He made a promise to you in front of your family and his that through sickness and in health he will be by your side no matter what. 

The miracle came after four years. On New Year’s Eve of that first miserable year of marriage you told him you wanted to go to therapy, but only if he went too. He gladly agreed, eyes blown up in uncertainty but he didn’t fight you on your decision. Immediately he started researching for the best therapists in town, forgetting about the holiday party at Jun’s house. 

Slowly he saw you come back to yourself. The first time you smiled at him and laughed he cried tears of joy along with you. After almost two years of individual therapy with the newly added weekly couple therapy session, the two of you decided to research alternatives. Joshua was apprehensive, he feared he would lose you again, reassuring you that the two of you didn’t have to have kids in order to be a complete family. 

That just the two of you, your cat Inu and your dog Neko was enough. In which you agreed but one of your dreams was to bring a child into the world, to be a mother and you refused to have that taken away from you. So, he agreed after many weeks of convincing and a glittery powerpoint presentation. 

Mingyu, Chan and their wife didn’t want kids, frankly it wasn’t for them. But she didn’t hesitate to offer herself as a surrogate when she learned that you and Joshua were looking for one. It took another glittery powerpoint presentation from all three of them, this time to convince you to let them help you. So you did. Eight and a half months ago through an IVF treatment, one of your eggs and Joshua’s sperm were inside of her, healthily growing your child. Each doctor’s appointment you went to, the excitement inside of you grew. 

You stayed up with Joshua talking about how grateful you were that your baby girl was so loved and she hadn’t even taken her first breath yet. Mingyu and Chan showered her with gifts endlessly. A competition between the two of them to determine who would end up being her godfather. Not to mention her other ten uncle’s competing to see who would win the title of best uncle in the whole wide world. A contest that was to be held annually. Or so they claimed.

You were happy and so was Joshua but the only problem the two of you faced was that you didn’t have a name yet. And it stressed out Joshua to the point of no return, especially after you told him that it would be better to just wait until she was physically in the world. That her name would come to you, appearing out of thin air the moment you saw her for the first time. 

Joshua on the other hand disagreed. He lived paranoid ninety nine percent of the time and liked to be ready just in case something went wrong. He also didn’t want his daughter to be nameless and bean sprout wasn’t cutting it anymore. “Okay how about Ophelia, like from Hamlet.” He says with a hopeful dewey look in his eyes. 

You grab the bottle of soju and pour yourself a shot, downing it before slamming it down on top of the dark wooden table. “Absolutely not, I refuse. I’m not naming our child after a book character, let alone my least favorite book.”

Joshua ran a stressed hand across his face. He wanted this nightmare to end. No both of you wanted this nightmare to end. “It’s not a book, it's a play baby, you out of all people should know that.” He accused, grabbing an unopened bottle of soju and cracking the seal. “Mrs. Literature major.”

“Does it come with a front cover and a back cover and a bunch of pages in between?” You challenge cocking your head to the side, pushing your shot glass towards him. 

Joshua poured you a glass before setting the bottle down and placing his chin in the palm of his hands. A cocky drunk grin evident on his face. “Yes, but it started out as a performance not a book.” He mocks.

“I disagree. Shakespeare had to have written it down first in order to then show the actors. Therefore it’s still considered a book and my statement still stands. I’m not naming our child Ophelia.” You roll your eyes bringing the glass up to your lips, taking a small sip from it. You were finally starting to feel the weight of the alcohol. It was a given the two of you were five soju bottles (almost six) in and still hadn’t made any progress. 

“Why not?” He whines kicking his feet in the process, resembling a little kid who just got told that he couldn’t have cookies ‘n’ creme ice cream for dinner. “I like Ophelia, I think it’s cute.” 

“Because Ophelia drowns in the play, what if by naming our daughter that, we are instilling her an unfortunate faith?” You explain, drawing it out dramatically with your hands. 

“That’s ridiculous. Our daughter is protected not only by her guardian angels but also she has a whole football team on standby ready to beat the shit out of anyone that makes her cry.” Joshua states in a matter of fact tone while closing the half finished bottle of soju. He was finally starting to feel the effects and the two of you still needed to pay the bill and somehow make it home. 

You huff dipping your index finger into the half full shot glass and wetting the rim. “I read about it once.” You whisper. 

“Where?” He stands up holding onto the table and makes his way to your side, sitting down. “On those mommy blogs? The one’s I told you to stop reading because they don’t make you feel good about anything?”  His arm makes it away across your shoulders and pulls you close. 

You nod, leaning your head against his chest. “I’m just scared and I want everything to be perfect. I know that there’s nothing wrong with the decision we made but sometimes I still feel guilty that I wasn’t the one to carry her.” You sigh, lacing your fingers with his. “What if she doesn’t love me?” You cringe at how small your voice sounds. This is something your therapist and you had been working on for the past three weeks. Ever since you realized that the due date was approaching quickly. You’d gotten far but the doubt still lingered no matter how much you tried to push it away. 

Joshua leaves a gentle kiss against the crown of your head. “You’re her mom through and through and she’ll love you no matter what. Your body couldn’t grow her, the risk was too high and I didn’t want anything to happen to you or to her. But that doesn’t mean you were not enough. You have always been enough and you will be the best mom she could ever ask for.” 

Years ago when you had first met Joshua you knew you didn’t deserve him. He was everything you could ever ask for and more. Every time you found yourself drowning he was there with his hand plunged into the water ready to raise you up. He was your pillar whenever you needed someone or something to lean on. He was your voice of reason and your biggest supporter. And it wasn’t fair, because you would never be able to be that person to him. 

“I love you Joshua, thank you for never giving up on me.” You sit up, closing the small gap between the two of you and leaving a soft, delicate, alcohol filled kiss against his perfect lips. 

“I would never in a million think of doing that. Baby I swear I would cut off each of my limbs and feed them to birds if that thought were to ever cross my mind.” He smiles, pecking your lips repeatedly making you giggle. The sound made his heart soar. “I know you won’t believe me but you taught me what it’s like to love someone endlessly and unconditionally and that’s something I will spend my life thanking you for.” He says, thumbs caressing your cheeks before he hugs you close. 

“Stop making it impossible not to love you.” You laugh, circling your arms around his waist, burying your head into his chest. “I like Ophelia too, I’ll put it on the ‘maybe’ list.” His arms get tighter around, making it almost impossible for you to breathe. He wasn’t voicing his happiness, but you could only imagine the dumb smile he had on his face. 

After all, it was rare for you to admit defeat.

The two of you stayed there for a few more seconds before he brought his face down, stopping just above your ear. “Want to go to the bathroom and fuck,  live out our young adults fantasies once more before we become parents?” 

You pull away an incredulous look decorating your face. “Yup, I think you’ve had enough to drink. Let’s go home.” You stand up, grabbing your purse, pulling on his arm earning a wine from your husband. 

“Come on just once, please baby please.” He pleads and stands up, following you as you make your way to the front of the bar where the cash register usually was. 

“Absolutely not, I don’t want to be arrested for Adultery. We are about to become parents Joshua Hong!” 

He shrugs, circling his arm around your waist watching silently as you wait to pay. “It was worth a shot, what about when we get home?” He whispers into your ear leaving a teasing kiss against your chin. 

“We’ll see. Now behave.” 

“As you wish my lovely wife.”

[rayshippouuchiha]

Can I be honest?

Ao3 actually kept me from harm BECAUSE it hosted darker content that is well tagged.

Let me explain. I started my fanfiction days pretty young and in ff.net no less. I loved reading and I was curious. First thing I learned before going on the internet was from my father (the internet is not for kids, stay sharp, you going into an adult place, act like it). I was very careful but I was still curious.

So, I started small, but because of the ff.net tag mess I did get burned. A few times. Sudden violence, amputations, sex scenes (god i remember the lemon scale bs, as if i understood it in the first place) (this was before the purge). This was because all the well written fics were mostly in the M rating but had no specific tags so I had no idea if the M was for torture, cursing, or god knows what, I couldn't filter out anything.

Some of those things I still remember, they left a mark in a way, but that wasn't the writer's fault because they couldn't tag and I ignored the author note sections because most of the time it was just rambles of the author talking with the characters self-insert style or about their real life problems, how was I supposed to find a warning in that kind of mess? And that's on me.

In that period I kinda got introduced to sex, a thing that wasn't talked about around me in real life. I was already a bit older, so I read it no problem. Then got introduced to kinks and found them interesting.

That's where Ao3 comes in. I found it when looking at fic recs and saw a new internet address instead of ff.net. For me, it was the holy grail. I was still a young curious teen girl but suddenly had access to a whole library of cool shit. I read a lot of mainstream fics and switched between fandoms like a deck of cards. Then, I saw the E rating. I was interested and clicked. Clicked through the adult content warnings like a true kid lying about their age on the internet.

I saw tags galore! Now, for the first time I was, in a way, safe while exploring dark stuff. Because one fic on the same page was tagged underage (the characters were my age at the time) and was E, while a whole other E fic on the same page was graphic torture case fic and worse. And it was all tagged.

So there I went, looking at fic, going hmmm and deciding: oh that's interesting, ew no, oh that's gross, huh i wonder what that is, this sounds good, oh i love this, uhhhhh hmm should I risk it, OH HELL NO.

And that's the thing! I knew what I was reading! I could experiment with kinks and dark things in a completely safe environment of the fantasy world!

Ao3 in a way saved me from talking about these things with others and accidentaly falling into an actual predator's hands (think student/teacher dynamic, grooming), because my curiosity wasn't going away, I still would have looked sooner or later, and if it wasn't for the no-interaction interface of Ao3 (a story can't kidnap or molest you), I could have been hurt.

Like yeah, no shit, I know I'm lucky that my brain didn't get actual trauma from textual depictions of dark stuff I stumbled on in my early days, but what I did get was more valuable than the risk of trauma (also, you can't get trauma from a tag, but you could from the text that has the tag, so the reader is still the one responsible, they were warned what was inside the box and still opened it).

I got boundaries, squicks, hard no's, absolute limits, whatever people call them these days. I now know what I can deal with and what I can't. I know myself better and could now fight against a person trying to bend or break them. I read dark shit so I know what kind of emotions I get from them and in what circumstances (what I like in text pretty much never carries into real life (even the mild things like biting), surprise).

But purity police would look at my Ao3 history and scream their head off about how I'm a deviant roaming free to attack people like a rabid dog, because obviously I must secretly wish to do that in real life!

And then if they met me they would get the confusion of a lifetime! They would have this image of a sexual deviant/old as fuck creeper/freak and then see me, a 21 year old woman, a well adjusted and social individual who has NEVER and will NEVER hurt a fly, eating chips in bed and reading fucked up shit about fictional characters for entertainment.

Because that's the difference. It's not the average people reading fucked up shit that are dangerous to the public, it's the people who already were fucked in the head before reading anything. No story on this Earth can force you to commit a crime unless you already wanted to do it and were just looking for an excuse.

Case in point, the Dexter inspired murders ("it wasn't me it was the book, I am innocent, it was the evil book, as such I am not to blame, blame the author!") and the NUMEROUS video game related murders (oh no it's not the parent's fault they bought their unstable child a 18+ rated game, it's the game's/creator's fault!"

Fiction and Reality coexist and influence each other in various ways (propaganda, misinformation, stereotypes, false data), but not like this.

And do you guys know why? Because we have an instinctive moral compass, we know right from wrong, and anyone fooling themselves thinking "I would have never done that if this [media] didn't tell/force me to do it" are in fact lying. Again, they would have done it eventually or even wanted to do it already, they just found a viable excuse now, all free to use as a "get out of jail free" card.

Sorry for the long ask and for my English (non-native speaker), you can ignore this, I won't mind. Just got a bit ticked off at people blaming writers for shit they didn't do. So here is my perspective from a long time reader's point of view.

If all these works didn't make me into a monster after all this time reading, then maybe, just maybe, it's not the works' fault.

You bring up absolutely wonderful and important points darling. Thank you for sharing.

And your English is fantastic so don’t worry about it.

[crystal--rxuge]

Okay so with the new season of Chicago Fire premiering soon, I have a few things to get off my chest.

I’ve seen SOOOO many hate comments towards Brett and Brettsey in regards to Dawson and Dawsey. But some people need to move on now. Dawsey had closure when Gabby came back that one ep. They will always love each other as they’ve been through so incredibly much together.

Same with Gabby and Brett. Their partnership was my favourite on the show. Their friendship was everything. The polar opposite personalities, yet they balanced each other out. They loved each other and Gabby was Bretts first friend in Chicago.

But Gabby Dawson CHOSE to leave for Puerto Rico instead of staying and trying to fix her failing relationships. She CHOSE to leave and divorce Matt maybe because of the amount of times they went on and off again in their relationship, knowing that it came to the end of their journey. She CHOSE to leave without saying goodbye to Brett after that heartbreaking call they had. All of this was GABBY DAWSONS choice.

And at the start both Brett and Casey were hurting because someone they both loved dearly CHOSE to leave, and the only person who understood the pain they felt, was each other. So they grew closer, confided in each other, comforted each other, supported each other, healed each other. As friends.

But unexpected things happen, unexpected feelings happen. And that’s EXACTLY what happened with Brettsey. You think they knew they’d get feelings for each other? ABSOLUTELY NOT. It was a shock. A surprise. So they tried to push it away. By being with other people momentarily. But those relationships didn’t work because they weren’t invested.

Brettsey have been hurt so many times individually. From relationships, to friendships, from loss of friends and loss of themselves. They went through things on calls, privately and personally. But the thing is, they’ve helped each other through it all. When you gradually get close to someone like that in your life, OBVIOUSLY you’ll start feeling some sort of way.

I’ve seen people comment how they look like brother and sister??? Because of their blonde hair and blue eyes?? Like they’re the only blonde hair and blue eyed couple that’s ever happened?? Please grow up! So would you say this about people who had brown hair and brown eyes? No! It’s just ridiculous!

I would also like to point out that Dawson had feelings for Casey and tried to act on them WHILST he was ENGAGED to Hallie, someone whom even Dawson called a friend. And now people are b!tching about “its so wrong for Brett to go after her friends ex husband”? But isn’t that EXACTLY what Dawson did to Casey? She knew he was engaged to Hallie and when Hallie died, a few MONTHS later Dawson went after him. But when Brett and Casey grew closer as friends (and potentially into something more) a couple YEARS after Dawsey divorced, people are p!ssed? Mind you that Gabby would have known Hallie longer since she arrived at 51 longer than what had been shown on the show.

So I just don’t get why people are b!tching about Brett. B!tching about a ship you don’t want to happen? Fine, I get that 100%, they’re not your preference, you don’t see what other people see. But b!tching and hating on a character that’s literally done NOTHING wrong, just because of a ship that’s no longer canon and a character that chose to leave or whatever is just so out of line!

Idk I just have so many feelings. I get it. If you still ship Dawsey and hate Brettsey that’s fine. Your choice. Whatever. But to hate on someone whose done NOTHING wrong is what’s ticking me off. Plus you don’t have to watch the show if you don’t enjoy it anymore. No one is forcing you to watch it.

Okay I’m ending my rant here.

P.S. I’m not a Dawson hater or Dawsey hater. I loved Dawson so much! She was a role model for me to become a strong, smart, independent, POC, ambitious person. She taught me and showed me so much and I love her for it. As for Dawsey, they were my OTP of the show until like season 4/5. They were amazing at the start but towards the end, season 5/6 when things went downhill and all the problems happening. But that’s OKAY! Not all relationships are meant to last. They come and make you believe it’ll last but it doesn’t always. It’s OKAY! It HAPPENS! Divorce happens! But people have to move on in order for them to be happy! And they’re happy now. So let’s be happy for them! Please.

Anyway. This is the end of my rant. See you in a couple days when 9.01 premieres!

[meant-to-be-a-hero]

Ranger Rankings - Power Rangers Samurai + Super Samurai

Premise - 4

The idea of Rangers having trained all their lives for the role, or at the very least knowing that they're going to have to be Rangers at some point, is a good one. The whole Samurai dojo setting is reminiscent of Ninja Storm and Jungle Fury, but it works, and it's fair of Saban to go with what they know works for their first time out after regaining the license. There aren't any glaring holes in the plot, and the dojo doubles as a place for non-Ranger activity without needing unnecessary explanation.

Character Dynamics - 3.5

For a change, if you're NOT the Red Ranger, this actually works out pretty well for you.

Mia, Emily, Mike, and Kevin all get to go through a lot in this season - they each get some good spotlight episodes, and their development as Rangers and as people comes along leaps and bounds in the 40 episode run. I like that they show actually acknowledged Mike & Emily's relationship rather than just pretending it wasn't there like other seasons have done in the past.

And then there's Jayden, who seems to get the short end of the stick. He's very, very stiff for most of the season, and he keeps relearning the same lessons without really progressing along his arc. He gets teamwork, then runs off on his own. He gets trusting his friends, then won't let them help him. And then when Lauren shows up at the end, there's that initial conflict over whether he's necessary any more, which kind of just fizzles out when he comes right back. It's frustrating, but he definitely feels like an unfinished character, even by the end of the season, and especially compared to the others.

Mentor Ji's fine. He has a few shining moments, like trying to help Bulk & Skull during one of the Christmas episodes, or the two times he gets to join in the fight, but he's mostly there to dispense wisdom.

I honestly could have done without the Bulk & Spike plot though. It barely ever actually coincided with the Ranger plot, and neither of them had much in the way of growth all season. Power Rangers realised after Turbo that Bulk & Skull weren't necessary any more, and while bringing them back has a nice nostalgia factor, that fact hasn't changed, and just detracts from time we could have spent with the other characters.

Sixth Ranger Arc - 4.5

Ah, Antonio. The golden light. My boy.

Yes, he has the whole 'turns up and becomes a Ranger in one episode' thing, but there's actually a really good reason for that this time around.

The idea of a self-taught Ranger is totally neat, and it comes up a lot even after he becomes a regular member of the team. He's a tech whiz, and he approaches symbol power and even Ranger training totally differently to everyone else. He really does feel like a different person compared to the others, and he brings some much needed levity to the team as well.

His ties with Jayden come up a lot too, even just in little gestures or glances as the series goes on. And the way he treats his Zords like his friends is adorable.

And the fact that he always has his own deal and isn't just hanging out at Shiba House on his off-days gives him an additional dimension too.

I just really like him, okay?

Plot Development - 3.5

I think because this season's 40 episodes + specials after so long of 30ish, it feels like the main plot drags on a LOT, especially in the early days of Samurai.

I like the idea that the villains can't just attack because of the level of the Sanzu River, and it gives them a reason to keep sending individual monsters rather than attacking right away, but it feels really arbitrary as to how successful they're being - the plot could have ended at any point, if they really wanted it to.

Things look up from the end of Samurai - the Black Box arc, and then the appearance of Serrator keeps things fresh, and the final five episode arc is straight fire through to the end. But there are too many one and done plots, and the holiday specials are pretty terrible given that three of the four are clip shows, and the one that isn't is just all recycled footage.

Villains - 3.5

Let's get the bad out of the way - Master Xandred is pretty crap, especially as a season-long villain. All he does is yell, or get drunk (medicine, my ass). He doesn't add anything to the plot, and he doesn't even feel particularly threatening until his final two episodes.

But then the supporting villains are great. The tragedy of Dayu and Deker, while also a bit overly long (there are like three places it could have ended before the final episodes), is something we haven't seen before. They could have easily had one or both of them face turn, but they stayed if not evil then neutral to the end, and it was actually quite sad seeing how it all turned out for them.

Serrator was a good mini-boss; we could have done with another one of him in Samurai to bridge the gap. He had a decent, if weird, plan, and a good personality - I always love dissension in the villain ranks, and he was more compelling in like three episodes than Xandred was in 40.

And Octoroo was just funny. I loved when he actually got to join in the fights - he looks totally useless, but he's not, and his little vocal tick was just present enough to be endearing without getting on my nerves. Shame he drowned.

Team-Up - 2

Clash Of The Red Rangers suffered so much from behind the scenes issues that I kind of wish they hadn't bothered doing it at all, because the final product was bland. You could literally take Scott out of the story and it'd play out basically the same way. Not having the rest of the RPM Rangers hurts it a lot, as does the entire Samurai team disappearing for half the story. Meanwhile the actual 'clash' lasts all of two minutes and is a ruse. It's watchable sure, but for a team-up episode, it's only one notch above the offensive Trakeena's Revenge.

Overall - 3.50

Hottest Ranger - Antonio. Come on! The boy's cute, he can sing, he's a dork most of the time, and he talks to his Zords like they're friends. I was never going to be able to resist. Also, shout out to Deker because evil!Cole also hits my buttons.

Notable Episodes:

There Go The Brides - The first hint that there's something more going on with Dayu and Deker, plus some decent subterfuge from the Rangers too.

Unexpected Arrival/Room For One More/The Blue And The Gold - Antonio's here and everything's suddenly miles better.

He Ain't Heavy Metal, He's My Brother - Mentioned entirely for Antonio and Mia's song.

A Sticky Situation - Mike & Kevin get stuck together and have to live with their hands tied together for an entire episode. Hilarity ensues.

The Master Returns/A Crack In The World/Stroke Of Fate - Honestly, a few little rewrites could have made this three episode arc the end of the series if they wanted to. The stakes were high, the reveals were there, and it was the end of Serrator.

Fight Fire With Fire/The Great Duel/Evil Reborn/The Sealing Symbol/Samurai Forever - Another excellent finale. The final fights with Xandred had some surprising twists and turns that I really enjoyed, and once this final five episode arc got going, it didn't let up.

[mantra4ia]

Debris 1x13 "Celestial Body": rewatch Reaction'd, questions and comments

So if all those people are experiencing emotional convergence, who are they converging from? Who's sending the emotional signal that the debris is channeling, or is it the debris manifesting it's "consciousness" in a way that we can understand it by way of human conduits?

Maddox is clearly trading debris pieces with Irina (perhaps the piece that he took out of storage off the books), and Irina is on the phone with presumably her handler/ boss to negotiate this trade. She gives him lateral (which I assume means latitudinal) readings and then he asks for longitudinal readings which we don't get to hear. They are: Lateral 105, 112, 115, 120, 113, 110, 109

What's the significance of these measures? Latitude goes from 0° to 90° from the equator, so that doesn't track unless the scene is cut wrong and they're meant to be longitudinal (E/W) readings, which go to 180° relative to the prime meridian. That would make more sense, because after Irina is done with the first set of readings, the unknown caller on the phone says "drop to level two for vertical" and latitudes are North/South.

If we're talking Western longitudes, notable landmarks include: Denver, Salt Lake City UT / Phoenix AZ / nearly Sedona AZ - aka where the telesphere went, Las Vegas, Lake Tahoe/ Nevada border, Great Salt Lake, Alberta-Saskatchewan border, and the Utah-Arizona border.

Or perhaps they're not part of terrestrial measurement at all. The act of "lateral reading" could just mean verifying your sources/accuracy as you go, where as vertical reading is reading for content first to see if something is worth evaluating for sources.

However, if they are part of coordinates, then is the fragment that Maddox is trading with Irina a legitimate "mapmaker" piece like George previously said Influx was seeking? Ya know, when he lied to his daughter. Can a mapmaker piece track moving/animate debris akin to the telesphere? Are those black dust cloud beings George is running from made up of animate debris?

Bryan: After becoming a parent you're in a heightened emotional state, emotionally raw.

George: Higher highs, lower lows, the joy of having a child, the postpartum depression, and the fear of getting it wrong.

Me: Are we in a pensive, self-reflective mood, George? Are you practicing your pub trivia Bryan, delivering exposition, or are you speaking from personal character experience? Seriously, how would you know?!

John Noble as Otto, man why does he always make such a good villain?

What is with the cryptic vagueness when Maddox tells Irina, "You know I can't let you leave with that case right? I mean you know that. There's another door for you Irina, one that only you can go through." They seemed almost on good terms in a previous episode, like friends or something more in a past life "nice car, i almost left / no you didn't", he wouldn't kill her, would he? Or is it more like a code between them, a sort of "I'm being watched, take the back exit"?

Hey, so why is it that sometimes George's eye seems opaque and damaged from the debris implant, but then when he's talking to Finola after he distracts Bryan while being Debris whisperer, his eye seems fine? PS: I googled Tyrone Benskin just to see what he looks like when he's not playing George Jones and I didn't know he's a former member of Canadian Parliament. Don't trust the government, eh?

George: "You're such a compassionate person, you always have been. So much of your mother in you." That's the second time that Finola's mother has been mentioned in the series, back from the pilot. Is it a coincidence that the first piece of debris that chose to interact with Finola resonated her mom? More than just Finola's desire being reflected by the debris, but the debris emoting it's first impression of her as someone compassionate that it can trust?

It also raises my heckles that George repeats, almost word for word, something that Finola said in episode 3. "If we can't help people, we do not deserve this debris / if we don't use this debris on these people, we are not worthy to have it." Are father and daughter that ideologically similar, or has he been spying on her progress this whole time, or both?

George: "I took my life to allow myself a rebirth, I paid the price. I want you to know that not one day goes by that I don't think of you and your sister. I want you to know this." This coincides with my initial impression that George staged his death to get away from Orbital after he assessed how his research was being used/abused.

George: "You never wanted to go into the pool, I had to throw you in, and you kicked and screamed, but you always did better that way." Immabout to throw you George, just keep talking!!!! I'm sorry, this charicature of absentee father reminiscing about the good old days really ticks me off from personal experience.

Also, as a person with a disability, I am not particularly pleased with the use of Dario as a plot device instead of a thoughtful character with a backstory at this point in the show for 13 whole episodes now. Pretty pissed off actually, so they better do something phenomenal and pivotal with Christian Rose (Dario) in season 2 [maybe have his character interact with debris in a similar way to Caroline]. But that's another rant about ableism in screenwriting for another angry day....

George: "A telesphere was born yesterday. It came from a pocket dimension inside Orbital. I think it's birth may have triggered the debris." This is perhaps the one-ish episode that I find George remotely interesting and also infuriating, particularly because of the way he speaks, like he's finally taken off the guise of the old, well-meaning eccentric and turned into a sharp, cunning, and at times calculatingly ruthless individual. I find it peculiar that he says a telesphere is born. Makes me think that the debris is not just part of a spacecraft, but a hybrid of the beings piloting that craft.

I get tremendous satisfaction from Finola head-butting people. This should continue.

I'm not familiar with all of the work of JH Wyman to know if this is a running theme or an ongoing joke. But does he keep his writing staff in a constant state of starvation? Is that why pieces of debris are called "Nachos", and why Influx has "Beans" to shield them from debris side effects, and why Bryan is always eating junk food? Should I be worried about the writer's room and start sending them healthy snacks?!? Just give me an SOS in the credit roll.

Speaking of: is the "Bean" that Finola ingested a piece of debris? Similar to the pieces of debris that fused with Anson Ash? Will it impart some physical benefits to her moving forward?

"I won't lose you again...you belong with me." What are you talking about George Jones, you made the conscious decision to leave your family. You didn't lose Finola, she lost you. In this version of reality at least. Or (unscripted backstory) did Jones and his wife separate prior to her death / was Finola brought up mostly by her mother? That doesn't seem the case if she was buying her father birthday presents and took it upon herself to settle his affairs after his death.

Why do the Influx Operatives Otto and Anson have tattoos on their hands, but not Loeb? Is he like the low end of the totem pole FNG who hasn't earned his stripes, hence why Otto gives him s***: aka "Careful you cretin. All the finesse of a butcher."

What is the hierarchy of Influx anyway? Despite being an anti-government "for the people/ elevate the human consciousness" organization they do still seem to have a governing hierarchy and Otto and George seem to be on the same level, pretty high in rank / they talk with confidence to each other like they go back a while.

What is that weird thing that Otto does with his hands to Bryan's head? What are all the weird things Otto does, including his massacre at the petrol station? Ick.

Why is it that Leob and George are freaked out by the black smoke (debris particle?) man, but Anson and Otto aren't? They seem to see them(?), but don't overtly react.

Bryan: "It seems like we're entering some kind of new phase." Gee where have I heard that one before? Oh yeah, the story of "Blackwater grandfather" and the black wind that they're still teasing endlessly while refusing to tether it into some kind of world building lore. Agggghh!

Lololol, Bryan and Finola's dynamic even in the midst of a very serious episode makes me laugh. "Devon Reese / two e's? / Two e's!" "This one smells like baby diapers. Almost as bad as the tech section of the plane/ You mean your section of the plane. / Almost." That zinger 👍

Paraphrasing Bryan: "[recapping, recap, and did I mention recap]...something about George doesn't feel right." Personal pet peeve: I HATE IT when episodes have intentional explanatory lines like this to point out the fact that we as audience are privy to information that the main characters aren't. Not only does it make the main characters seem less intelligent, it breaks the fourth wall a little bit and gives the impression that the audience, which is ahead of the plot, is not as intelligent and needs a reminder that we're ahead. Lackadaisical writing drives me nuts!!! I can't outright say that it's "bad" dialogue, but it's not a choice I would make if I wanted uninterrupted viewer immersion.

Finola: "My instincts are good" Me: You are an emotionally intelligent decision maker with gaping personal blind spots.

George: You belong with me, your father.

Finola: My father died six months ago, and you are not him.

Me: Chef's kiss 👏👏👏

Otto: "It would never have worked out with that girl [Finola], not in any iteration." Definitely makes me lean towards the fan theory that the alt!Finola in (presumably) suspensia in Sedona Arizona got plucked from another reality.

Surprisingly, the ending credit roll has no voiceover as all the previous episodes of the season have. Disappointed that there's no potential teaser to a season 2 if the show gets renewed. But I find it curious that the extras who were demonstrating emotional convergence were credited as: chess board persons. Not sure if that's relevant, but I definitely feel like this show is playing games with me and my emotions.

[dragonherder2030]

So I watched Raya and the Last Dragon-

I honestly was very disappointed with the movie as a whole. I LOVE dragons and main movies and media just doesn’t have much of them that I have seen. So when I saw that Disney was making a movie about and staring a dragon character, I got very excited. I had loved the design for Sisu when she was just a concept art

She was much more colorful and had a very different face, a more regional face. She is definitely more water dragony compared to the actual final draft design. And she is just overall prettier in my opinion.

Spoilers under this point

Another thing is the continuity and main logic of the movie. In the beginning of the movie it is practically about 15 minutes of exposition. It tells that apparently all the dragons are water dragons, every single one since they all look the same, but that there were multiple dragons in the past. These evil creatures made of human greed or whatever started attacking humans, and well I guess other things but the humans primarily. When attacked, they pass through the human and either take or freeze their spirit or something I don’t remember exactly, but the person becomes stone. So the dragons being the most powerful creatures in the world, they tried to fight the things. The dragons were also turned to stone, all but one, The Mighty Sisu. In the exposition it says that she compiled all her magic into the orb, and used it to destroy the things and turn everyone back from stone. Except the dragons. Do they ever explain why it didn’t turn the dragons back to alive? No it does not, it absolutely does not, but ho boy there is SO much more. Later in the exposition, the dragon gem gets broken into 5 pieces, one for each of the tribes. And they each possess a piece of the gem now. So, when the gem gets broken, all the evil creatures from the very beginning just, come back! This is never explained- nothing is ever explained in this movie it was just made for the funnies I GUESS. This movie feels like a really bad book adaption HONESTLY. And at the end of the movie when everyone comes back because it’s a kids movie, it’s just AHHGH everyone is happy now all the dragons come back and everything is dandy. But why didn’t the dragons come back in the beginning? The whole moral of the movie is “Trust good”. Seriously that’s it. And when they put the dragon gem back together at the end everyone is like “oh wow we need to trust each other and that’s how the magic will WoRk”. But explained earlier when we hear Sisu’s whole backstory is that when SHE did the magic fix she trusted her siblings the most that she had in that moment, SO TELL ME WHY DIDN’T IT WORK!!?? It makes no sense to me at least maybe I’m just missing something. But it annoys me so much, nothing makes sense in this movie. Another theory I have is that there were 3 writers. Each assigned to a seperate story arc, one to the beginning exposition thing, one to the middle main part, and one to the climax and final bits of the movie. The thing is, the writers only vaguely know what the past ones did XD.

The next problem I have is with the actual magic and formulation of dragons, as well as what the heck is up with the dragon gem. But don’t worry, I have at least 2 more problems with this movie. So as Sisu gets more and more of the dragon gem shards, she gains new powers. But do you know why? Because APPARENTLY when the gem broke into the 5 pieces, the magic of her individual siblings who gave their magic to the gem was separated perfectly. Ok that may not make much sense. But when we see Sisu’s backstory it shows that her oldest brother made the gem, then each sibling except Sisu put their special magic into the gem. So then, when it broke, the individual gem pieces only had the 1 type of magic in them? Excuse me what? That doesn’t make sense, if I make a cake, then I won’t cut it up and get only egg from one slice, then a bunch of sugar from another slice. It’s just- really bad and they could have fixed it by just- not having the siblings at all. They so easily could have been written out of the story, instead Sisu could have no magic when she is brought back, which she practically has none, her “magic” is that she is a strong swimmer. But then as she gets the pieces she gains back parts of her original magic, that would have been more indering then the siblings. Now the second part of this is the actual powers. Ok, which sounds like more of a power, being able to glow, or being able to fly around by walking on raindrops. The second one right? Well, ThEY aRe BoTh COsIdeReD MaGIc iN tHiS UniVErSe. All the powers that Raya aquires from the dragon gem pieces is being able to do the glow, being able to shape shift into a human, and being able to walk on the rain. Now, that isn’t even the part I’m the most mad about. At the end of the movie when all the dragons come back, THEY ALL CAN WALK ON THE RAIN. LIKE WHAT!? I THOUGHT THAT WAS THE OLDER BROTHER’S MAGIC TYPE! Do you get what I mean by this movie having no continuity? At the end of the movie, Sisu was killed by evil cat lady, and all the dragons come back walking on the rain and just- resurrect her. Ok, I guess that could be explained away as all the magic beings being magical, but I still don’t like how easily they did it. Yet another thing is that Sisu can make a bunch of magical smoke, well not magical but it’s really shimmery and thick, that’s not explained, she just can do it.

Let’s talk about the relationships in this movie. I hate them. No ones characters are developed on or improved except for maybe cat lady- I need to find her name somewhere, but except for Namarii is her name, her and Raya. Namarii’s big stitch is, I don’t even know just not being the most evil person? Either that or the same trust thing, which would mean that her and Raya have the same character arc. Raya in the beginning of the movie is explained to be the daughter of the chef of clan Heart, one of the most prosperous out of the 5 clans. They at the start of the movie had the dragon gem, and the father guy, he invited every other clan over to have a big feast or whatever. So when they get there, young Namarii, all this is happening when Raya is like, 9 I think, but Namarii and Raya become friends over fangirling for Sisu. Namarii has a necklace of Sisu that she gives to Raya. And side note, they act as though Sisu isn’t the SAVIOR OF THIER LANDS, but she’s some really good singer. Well I guess they have to connect to all those youngsters out there with an obsession and that rElATaBlE moment when you fInD AnOTheR oF tHiEr kInD. That just triggered me. But since Namarii is such a big fan of Sisu, Raya, after being shown to be VERY offensive about the idea of the other tribes coming, just decides to show Namarii the dragon gem! But uh oh, twist, Namarii is actually bad oh noooo and everyone comes up and starts to fight over the dragon gem. Then it shatters and the evil things come back. So Raya and her dad are trying to escape, her dad had been injured from fighting an arrow to the leg, but the things are repelled by water. So what does the dad do? He yeets the child into a river(they are on a bridge at this point) after having a minute long conversation with her. Like, could he not just tip himself off to? But hey we have to give them characters angsty backstorys amiright? It’s just so stupid the character motives. So like, Idk 12 years pass by or something since Raya is an adult now. She actually has a pretty emotional prayer type thing to Sisu when she is trying to resurrect her to save the world. This movie has a few ups that I will put at the end. So let’s talk about Sisu now, ho boy, she is the “oh everything will be fixed with hugs and kisses”. You know what this is, this is the same exact dynamic that Poppy and Branch went through during Trolls movie! The exact same dynamic! HECK Disney couldn’t even get original personalities. Sisu blindly trusting everything gets them into wacky situations and causes some conflict between Raya and Sisu but BARELY ANY. And Sisu just seems like- really innocent, she’s oblivious all the time. She’s this ancient beast and she just has the most generic personality and I loath it. Namanii is actually someone I liked. She seemed like the most real character until the very end, just, the blindly “oh everything is alright now and I’m fine with everyone now trauma doesn’t exist”. Also on that point, apparently trauma doesn’t exist in this world, because Sisu lost every single one of her siblings, and just, doesn’t show any sign of grieving or remorse she just doesn’t give a thought to them. Except for the backstory bit but she just doesn’t seem to care. Also just a side note, none of those side characters are developed at all and just there for practically comic relief. The whole resolution of the movie is them putting the gem together and then all “hugging” each other and wow look at that it worked. *inhales* and then when Sisu comes back, she has the most emotionally dead response to Raya, none of the character reuniting is good. You know, if you have seen storks, that near end montage where all the babies are brought to the people? Yeah, that was 100% better then the resolutions of Raya and the Last Dragon. One scene that ticked me off so much was when that ninja baby was reunited with her parents, the mom, oh my gosh, she looked as if she had just found an old purse she misplaced. She did not look- ah I can’t even put it into words just look up the clip to get it.

That’s all that I have to say about the movie, I probably have more somewhere but honestly I couldn’t put it into words. Now, you know, I have to give this movie a few good opinions. The movie looked amazing, great character design(except for the dragons I dispose them) and everything looks gorgeous. As well as the animal design, I wish I could have seen more animals honestly they all looked really interesting and unique.

Sorry this post was so long I just wanted to put my opinions out there.

[kyndaris]

Campfire Stories

As a storyteller and amateur writer, it’s always exciting when I can spin something fantastical out of the nonsense in my head. But as a reader, I’m always eager to learn more about the individuals hidden within the written word. It happens in the real world too. I like uncovering what makes other people tick, their life stories and their psyche. In many ways, it helps me with my own writing to make the characters that inhabit the worlds I’ve created more human and understandable. Like I’ve told many an acquaintance within my small social circle, if I could have a thoroughly researched Wikipedia page on everyone I’ve met, I’d be pretty happy. A secret dossier, if you will, on the life and times of EVERY HUMAN ON EARTH.

When a game came out in 2018 that held the premise of sharing stories with others, I was intrigued. Once it was free on the Epic Game Store, I claimed a copy and let it sit in my game library until a pandemic dried up any prospects of me ever obtaining a PlayStation 5 (thank you for the computer chip shortage, Mr SARS-CoV-2, and taking away all prospects of me ever travelling for the next five years). Where the Water Tastes Like Wine is a narrative driven adventure that sees the player character roaming around the then-48 states of the America collecting stories after a card game gone wrong.

Most of these are random events that the player chances upon. And while it doesn’t have flashy cutscenes, the voice acting and narration is great at setting the mood and fleshing out the scenarios, impossible though some may be. I may not be one for audible books but I can imagine how effective they can be with hefty talent. Doesn’t mean I won’t read faster than the person reading it out loud and occasionally want to skip ahead.

In fact, that was perhaps my initial problem with the game. The fact that, like Abzu, I wanted to rush ahead and get to the end. After a few hours of the same repetitive gameplay loop of whistling, stopping, listening, and then moving on, I was almost ready to put it down.

Until I realised that the trick with Where the Water Tastes Like Wine is to slow down. And to treat each campfire individual like the people I talk to on a daily basis. Everyone has a story to tell. No matter how dull it may seem at first, it is always fascinating to learn what has brought them to the singular moment of speaking to you. Everyone has a past. Everyone has hopes and dreams and thoughts and opinions. 

Slowly but surely, I learned about Mason’s struggle with the war and the losses he endured. I sympathised with Cassady’s lovelorn tale about Silas. Dehayaa and her tale about reclaiming the land they had lost. It was also nice to hear their views about certain topics - for which many stories were categorised into as they followed the neat allocation made possible with tarot card symbolism. Each chapter for each character brought new views on such topics as freedom, love, joy, sadness, being trapped, travel, world and fortune - to name several.

And while it might have been tempting if Where the Water Tastes Like Wine had offered the option for the player characters to tell their own stories or embellish the ones they had found, I didn’t feel cheated about learning the intricacies of Bertha’s or Quinn’s lives. Some were humorous. Others sad. But all of them were unique. 

The breadth of the human condition and experience truly is a sight to behold. It is humbling to know that despite our own struggles, what we see, hear and touch everyday is only a small slice of all the things out there. That is why I find it so intriguing to listen and learn. That is why I love to read, watch shows and films, and play video games. It is the experiences I crave. Why? Because not everyone can know the joy of having two living parents that love them. Not everyone can appreciate the pain of losing everything in one devastating blow such as a tornado. 

What is it like to be blind or deaf? How do people in other cultures see the world around them?

And while I may not wish some of the more terrible things even on my worst enemy, seeing how someone can overcome the lemons life has given them is inspiring. Even if they don’t manage to succeed, it’s also great to see how they have managed to cope and bring a sense of normalcy to their lives. While many have been blessed in life, saved from the travail of poverty and hunger, there are also millions worldwide that still do not have ready access to clean water.

Where the Water Tastes Like Wine is not a game for everyone. It’s slow, repetitive and for many the effort might not be worth the end product. For me, though, learning about others, hearing about their struggles and triumphs, is a delight in and of itself. Still, perhaps it would have been better if the map for the United States of America was a little more truncated or focused on a specific region. It is no easy feat to traverse even a digital rendition of The United States of America - let alone uncover all the stories hidden therein.

[voidcat]

– Choose Me

Characters: Oikawa Tooru/Reader

requested by anon, prompt 22

Genre: angst (4am brain calls the shots)

Word Count: 1.3k

Thoughts elsewhere and watching the outside, you don’t pay attention to what the teacher has to say after hearing the assignment topic and deadline. Watching the leaves shudder with each blow, seeing how the sun hits each leaf with such uniqueness, you can feel yourself drifting further and further.

Until you’re pulled back on earth with a tap on your shoulder. “Have you chosen anyone?”

“What?” Choose what exactly?.

“For the assignment. We need to work in pairs. Have you paired up with anyone?” The boy asks again. You can see several girls sending harsh glares your way.

“Why are you asking me?”

“Most people approach me to get close to me, only for all the work to be piled up on me and you seem levelheaded enough to work in pairs.” You frown at the adjective. “And from the looks of sitting by yourself and still listening to me, I take it you don’t have one. Choose me.” He finishes speaking with a smile. It’s not like you have a better option any way.

“Sure. Let’s decide on a place to meet up afterwards and settle on which parts to work on individually.” Saying your name last, you look up to meet his gaze.

“I know.” He says. “I am Oikawa Tooru.”

You don’t expect it to go any longer than that. You don’t expect to talk to Oikawa ever again after the assignment. Yet he doesn’t leave, he keeps coming to talk, to walk by your side, sometimes to steal some of your lunch.

You don’t expect to develop a friendship with him either. Or with his friends. Yet before you can realize what’s happening, you’re already good friends with Iwaizumi, Mattsun and Makki. And before you can realize, you find yourself spending more and more of your time by their side. At school, after school, attending their practice matches and official matches.

It all develops naturally, the way he becomes a part of your life so easily. Becoming an essential element in your little world.

 The second time he says it, it’s for something silly.

Agreeing, more like being dragged, to karaoke with them, you find yourself opening up more and more. The songs are usually bad or some old pop song you have not heard of in the last decade. They’re shitty, of low quality and so delightful that you cannot find it in you to stop.

Voices going raspy after a while, it doesn’t matter.

Making funny moves while singing, it doesn’t matter how embarrassing any of you look because the moment is so warm, welcoming and alive that all you can do is for your soul to sit back and bask in the ecstasy of the moment.

“Okay the next one is a duet. Who’s up for it?” You say, looking at their weary faces, short and fast paced breathings.

“Choose me.” Oikawa says as he reaches for the second mic. It doesn’t sound like an order or a suggestion. And definitely not a question. Two confident words, fully aware you’d choose him any way.

  Spending time with the boys means spending time with the team. Getting to know each player, seeing them grow and improve, almost makes you feel proud. Being used to your presence during the matches by now, they often come up to talk to you as well.

Yet some of the older players don’t approach you much, is what you first notice.

And when you talk, it’s never too long, they seem itchy to get out of the conversation as soon as possible so you let them. It’s not like you’re dying to know them.

 Your experience with the team feels best on your third year. Having known them all, meeting new first years to adopt, to show them what ticks their respected third years off, things to do to get Mattsun and Makki’s good graces, things to make Iwaizumi proud, ways to leave Oikawa annoyed and hanging... stuff like that.

  Then you meet them. The flightless crows, the fallen birds.

With their jet black feathers and attitude, maybe a little out of sync at the practice match but captivating, almost enchanting.

You remember the last time you felt like this for volleyball, it was seeing Iwaizumi spike and Oikawa serve. You can’t help but feel like a traitor.

Sitting by the sidelines gets a little boring afterwards, so you start making small talk with the silver haired kid and their manager. They seem approachable enough.

“It’s really... a life saver that they don’t have a guy on their team who serves like kageyama.” The silver head says.

“Kageyama as in Tobio-chan, right? The stoic moody face with blue eyes?” You ask him.

“Yes, why? Do you know him?”

“No but I think you’ll regret what you just said soon enough.” With a small empathic pat on his back, you can hear the squalling of the girls already. Tooru must have arrived.

You stay in touch with the Karasuno students you met that day. It’s nice to have someone outside Aoba Johsai to talk to, about something other than volleyball once in a while. Without receiving any burning glares or threatening mutters. It’s feels something of yours only, almost like a secret. A secret you’re not so discreet about, except for the times Tooru bugs you. 

When he asks for a group hang out or study meet up and you decline for your plans with the others, which is usually just Shimizu, he gets invasive, to say the least. Attacking with never ending questions until he gets distracted or you give him a scale of information to nibble on. It gets exhausting sometimes and the look pitying Mattsun gives you doesn’t make you feel any better.

You try asking Iwaizumi about it once, as expectedly, it backfires. He tells you to talk to Tooru about it instead, clear from his face he knows more than he lets on.

  And so passes the year like this. Too fast to catch up sometimes. A mixture of success and failures, and sometimes surprises too.

Yet it feels nice, knowing it’s your last fills you with dread. Wishing for time to go slowly, even if for a second each day, anything to stay in the moment longer.

  The last time is not the third time. It’s the third time you hear those words clearly again. Yet they mean so much more than the previous times.

It’s soaking, almost like someone pours an endless bucket of water down the sky. As the rain keeps coming, the weather gets colder. The water sticking up to your clothes makes you feel colder with each passing minute, each second.

“Choose me.” Tooru says, one last time. With so much meaning carried by two simple words.

His voice lacks the usual confident tiny or the cherry tingle. It’s low, soft, small, vulnerable.

 “Choose me.” Says Oikawa Tooru and you realize it was never about the assignment or the song.

It was about the pairs, the duets. Your senpais avoiding you makes sense now. The way suddenly most girls turned against you too. How he always came up with an excuse to meet up, the curious questions about your private life.

It’s all crystal clear and you feel you should’ve seen it sooner. 

Finally, finally knowing what he meant with two simple words all this time, all these years and you want to help him as you always did, to be by his side. 

Tooru has always been with you and you with him. You can’t deny the place he has in your heart nor the importance he holds in your life. More than anything, you want to give him what he wants, what he so desperately wanted for who knows how long.

And yet you can’t, not this time.

Because this is the only time what he wants is something you can’t give. Something within you that you can’t change. A position already taken, a gap already filled.

 Both of you standing like that, face to face. Soaking wet and growing cold from the rain. The way you stand, you’re so close get so far away right now. The distance greater than you’ve ever felt.

Oikawa Tooru asks you choose him one last time but you had already chosen someone.