#letters i’ll never send

[rowandarling]

i am still waiting to be loved

i will sit here until my roots

fester and rot, yearning

for the sunlight to reach me

[bigmouthstrikesonceagain]

—but i think you were fed up and in pain by the end. i’m sorry for that. i suppose love is violence, after all.

[thoughtless-ramble]

It's exhausting. Pretending to be okay when you're not..

[spiral-says]

breaking no contact

[thankyouforyourletter]

Letters I’ll never send Pt. 1

dear____,

i suppose you might be wondering why i didn’t go to your party. i didn’t want to bring it up because i didn’t want you to think i was mad or being petty. in reality, i only have love for you and not a single negative feeling when you enter my mind.

the fact is that i’ve just not been welcomed into this phase of your life. it’s not something i would’ve ever predicted five years ago. i always imagined walking closely beside you. but that’s not where we’ve landed. and again. i’m not mad at you for it. i don’t blame myself either. we’re just here living our own lives and im cheering you on from the background now.

i hope you’re still cheering for me.

you can’t begin to imagine how happy i am for you. i’ve always believed you’d arrive here and i’ve always believed nobody deserves this more than you.

but these parties… i don’t fit anymore.

i know there are times when you have to be uncomfortable for someone else’s sake, but you never let me know if my being there even mattered to you. and even though i’m not upset, it doesn’t mean i wouldn’t be so sad to be around my replacements.

sometimes losing someone feels like a breath of fresh air, and sometimes it feels like having the air knocked out of you. i’m still getting some of my breath back.

anyway. i love you. i want nothing more than to be involved in your life again as soon as you decide you’ll have me. until then i’m here in the back of the crowd clapping the loudest for all of your successes.

love,

erin.

[dddemigirl]

I don’t have access to the Google doc anymore so I can’t contact this person… but Emilie if you ever somehow see this I’m so sorry that I was such a creep to you back then. I know this was years ago now but I thought of what happened between us for some reason today. I developed this disturbing parasocial relationship with you after a few weeks of knowing you online. It wasn’t cool. What’s worse is I told you about my “feelings” without thinking about how that might make you feel. I also looked through your other public docs on your account without asking!! All because I got excited because they were related to a fandom that I’m in. I was such a freak and I’m so sorry. I really hope you’ve forgotten all this.

[here-but-forgotten]

I really loved you. I think I still do. But there’s no point in me pursuing you. I know that now. I know it’ll never work out. I know it. But I don’t think my heart does. Your name is on the tip of my tongue. It has been. I’ve wanted to say it. I’ve wanted you. But there’s no use in that now. I need to break. I have to. I have to break me to keep myself from breaking further. You destroy roads before they’re destroyed. But I would have loved to have loved you. I hope you know that. But I don’t think you do. But. It’s not your fault that I eat my tongue to save myself the embarrassment of my own being. I love you. I’m sorry. Maybe in another life we could have been something. But it’s not this one. I could thank you for your gentleness in playing along; you never believed I was serious, and maybe that has saved me embarrassment. You played along like a schoolmate but I loved you like a spouse. But that is over now. It has to be. I have to make it end. I love you. I’m sorry. I think I could have loved you well. But it’ll never be. I love you. I’m sorry.

[dear-x-from-y]

Dear x,

Apparently I still think of you. I know moving back to my hometown that I gave to you, was a bad decision.

You’ve slipped your way back into my psyche, past the places where the scars have healed.

I’m engaged now and I’m happy. Things are lighter. I use different pronouns and wear a whole new style.

I am someone you would not know crossing on the street. It’s my defense .

I hope your brother is well

Wanting to run from your memory

Y

[inshallahinshallahinshallah]

Let’s trend #survivorsafety and #dvsurvivortips 🖤💛🖤💛💛🖤💛🖤🖤💛🖤💛🖤💛🖤💛

[rowandarling]

i don’t know how we got here

but when the snow melts

i hope you’ll return to me

[bigmouthstrikesonceagain]

i wanted to kiss you that day. soft and warm and rolling in comfort. eyes bright and delicate as the dappled sunlight beneath the canopy. i put my head in your lap and looked up at you, haloed and gentle, kind and subdued as the setting sun. darling, i thought, let me love you.

[shit-people-probably-didnt-say]

Wylan: Can you write to the Council that I thank them for their invite. But unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the ocean so will be unavailable to attend the ball

Jesper: *Puts pen down* Wy, we’ve discussed this…

[ana-cantskywalker]

Moodboard for Letters I’ll Never Get to Send

(Ft. My garbage handwriting)

[rosaacicularis]

which was more culturally significant, the renaissance or hermitgang

[thebutchprinxe]

heavy sigh

[confetticlues]

You just got a question! 💌 I wonder who it’s from? (Me, Bee!)

What’s your favorite part about Steve, and what’s his favorite part about you? 🩷

oh i love this question so much, it’s so sweet!! thank you so much for this ask, bee!! i love the blue’s clues reference too aaaa!! 🎀🍭💝

my favorite thing about steve is his enthusiasm over things both big and small! i love getting to watch his smile absolutely light up his face as he talks about the things he’s excited about! it makes my heart sparkle with adoration and joy hehe. i also love how complimentary he is towards others, as he easily praises people for their efforts and talents!

steve’s favorite thing about me is my positive outlook on life! he loves how i find the silver linings in negative situations, & how i never get pessimistic over his forgetful nature. he appreciates that while i give him a safe space to feel upset, i still remain optimistic over the situation as a whole. he also loves my creativity and enjoys watching and/or helping me make art of all kinds!