#life trouble

[heisen-shrine]

Money trouble

I hung up the phone, still panicking both inside and out. It had been rejected, and not a single person from either the tax company or IRS had contacted me. I had panicked, apparently something was wrong on my taxes and I couldn't figure it out. I knew what it was but not necessarily where the problem was coming from.

My hours had been axed again as well. We didn't have enough business, so we couldn't afford to give people hours. I threw my phone down in a fit, catching the attention of Os, who had come in to see what was going on.

"Sweetie, whats happenin'?" He asked.

"It happened again....twice. and I only have a few days to get this done. And no one sent me any notice. Nothing. No one. I need this money and they don't get it!" I replied, sitting in my bed, covering my face, "I can't do this. I just wanna disappear and never come back".

He sat down in front of me, putting a hand on my knee. "Ash, how much you need?".

"Os-"

"Seriously I'll cover it".

"Honey, I love you but you can't make this go away. I could potentially get in serious trouble for this if it happens enough times".

"Look, we got time. We'll go to the tax folks tomorrow and they'll set ya right. Alright? We're gonna get to the bottom o' this. I promise".

"It's not just the taxes. Its...everything. my hours at work got wrecked...again. my next paycheck is gonna look terrible".

"Maybe try findin' somethin' else doll. You're a girl o' many talents. Hell maybe the paper will hire ya".

"Journalism isn't my thing. I'd be terrible at it. Plus nothing happens in this damn town..." I rolled my eyes, "I just don't want...HER to be right".

It didn't take long for it to click. "Your stepmama? Fuck her-"

"I hear her Os. All the time. In my head. 'You don't work enough. You don't do enough. You don't make enough. You haven't done anything with your life at thirty, while your little sister already has a career and two crotch goblins'. Like seriously...just fuck off" I sniffed angrily, "she's right. Nothing I ever do is enough. It's not enough for me to just be happy, right?".

"Babe...first off, she's wrong. And seriously, fuck her. Second, I wish I could say happiness was the end all, be all, but...it ain't. And if I could change that for ya I would, and ya know I would".

"I know...I just...don't know what to do. I don't wanna be one of those people that get up and they hate going to work. I love my job. A lot. I have fun and I'm happy...but it doesn't work me enough. And until I can find somewhere to sell my jewelry where I won't get bitched at, I'm sitting on nearly fifty dollars or more of merchandise. I'm getting pissed on, Os. I'm getting pissed on without the courtesy of even calling it rain".

"Could always go back to fast food, doll-"

"And be miserable? Again I don't wanna be one of those assholes that hates their job".

"It wasn't a happy job, but it was stable. And I'm thinkin' right now that's what ya need. Ya need stability. And I get it, ya love what ya do but...darling...it's not workin' for you. Ash I hate seein' ya so stressed over this. Ya don't get paid enough for this shit".

I sighed and hugged my knees. "I don't wanna go back to that os, it's gonna fucking destroy me. I was stuck in that shit for nearly ten years".

"And it wasn't all bad, was it?".

"It wasn't completely awful but...I can't stand how people look down on me there. At least doing what I do now I'm a little more respected".

"But you handled it...hm...only thing I can think of is to write on the side. You know...write one shots for folks or somethin'?"

"Maybe...I just...don't know what to do at this point, Os. I really really don't".

Authors note: yeah, I'm having serious financial troubles and problems have arisen with my taxes. My work has seriously cut my hours and I feel hopeless. This was a part vent, part one shot. I don't know why, but I thought Oswald was appropriate for this. I seriously feel lost guys and I have no idea what to do with myself...

[uncanny-tranny]

I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.

I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:

Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)

Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)

Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often

Eat dessert first

Celebrate well, and often

Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)

Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.

Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate

Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)

Walk without having a specific destination or goal

Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.

I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.

[kiwibrain]

part 2 of the silly isat dunmeshi crossover, with angst and a recipe i made up in 2 minutes :)

Part 1 ✨

[ruporas]

need to exist in your warmth (id in alt)

[improvapocalyps]

You have 90 minutes to complete. (original poem: r.a.)

In participation of the MCYT Recursive Exchange 2024 hosted by @mcytrecursive!

Inspired by know that all my love will be your breath (i will save you when your lights go out)

[text under cut]

1. Have you ever been in love? (Please circle your answer.) a. It's me and him b. Our hearts beat in sync c. Our lives intertwined

2. Do you understand what you’ve done? (Please circle your answer.) a. I couldn't do anything b. I lost my balance c. I doomed us both

3. It's been god knows how long since you felt phantom hands on your neck and there is no one in sight. If you were soul-bound to him and both of you died at the same time then why are you still waiting in the void? Please answer clearly, in full sentences. (Not a correct answer：I just wanted to see him one more time).

4. Define two (2)： Fate | The feeling of his forehead against yours Curse | The moment you realise he isn't linked to you anymore

5. True or False： i. It was your fault. ii. You wish you had met him under different circumstances. iii. You can’t regret a single moment that you had him. iv. You would do it all over again if you could. v. It ended long before either of you said anything.

thumbnails:

sketch cover thing for imgur link:

[kamiraaah]

TWST PARENTS! Trappola, Hunt and Ashengrotto!!

⚠️⚠️First of all, I must warn you that these designs may change in the future, either because the game presented us with the official designs, or just because I really wanted to change... Or I could reuse these designs for these characters!⚠️⚠️ Given that warning...

Guys, gals, and non-binary pals. I present to you, the Trappola, Hunt, and Ashengrotto families!

The Trappolas it's a very common family, compared to others. Of course, Ace Trappola and his brother get into a lot of trouble and face their mother's anger very often... But hey! It's good that they have their father to calm things down when things escalate, right? It may not seem like it, but Mrs. Trappola in her youth was just like Ace, always getting into trouble and facing authorities without thinking twice… Which led to many fights with Ace's grandmother. Mr. Trappola, on the other hand, rarely started fights, at least physical ones. Since he has a sharp tongue, always with some offense or something to irritate the other person. Both Ace and his brother inherited these traits from their parents… Although the older one is a little more responsible and is sometimes the one who talks sense into Ace's head. Ace and his brother have always been close, even though they fight or torment each other, they both have great respect for each other, even now that they don't see each other as much…

The Hunt family is a mystery to many.

The members of this family are… Lively, for lack of a better description, and Rook is the best known among them, and yet he is a guy who hides many secrets.

Although they are unknown, they are apparently a family with a certain wealth, many stories surround their members about how the Hunts managed to get so much money and influence in Twisted Wonderland...

But of course none that came close to the truth.I still wonder what kind of people they are.

Mama, Papa and Grandma Ashengrotto! A very loving family that loves young Azul more than he can imagine. Miss Ashengrotto goes to great lengths to demonstrate her love for her son, even though she is a busy woman, always does everything possible and impossible to be present in her son's life. She is a great friend of the Leech family, and always gets in touch to talk or update each other on how the children are doing. Mr. Ashengrotto, Azul's stepfather, is a kind man who has great respect for his wife. At the beginning of his relationship with his current wife, he was afraid that it would end up affecting the relationship between mother and son… The last thing he wanted was to make the young man hate him, but time passed and Azul and him ended up getting very close ( and catching his stepfather off guard when he called him "papa"… who ended up crying with happiness). Unfortunately, he carries the guilt of not having noticed the bullying that Azul went through in his childhood, and whenever he can (or when Azul allows him) he helps him with whatever he can… Always trying to talk and advise the youngest. Grandmother Ashengrotto, like her daughter, is a kind but strict woman. Always wanting the best for her grandson and being one of his biggest supporters in any projects her grandson starts. Always demands that he visits her more often... And preferably with friends! She wants to make sure her precious grandson is being well taken care of!!

AND MORE FAMILIES DONE!! And I'm still going to draw pictures of other members of the TWST families, so please bear with me a little… I'm going as fast as I can!🫠

I'm not 100% satisfied with their designs... They have a big chance of being changed, but I hope you like them! 😚

[saltlordofold]

(wip) help cute Alistair with the helmet hair hath bewitched me

[shepscapades]

[dbhc flavored] Hermit a Day May: Day 24 — Cleo!

[ariaste]

Me: [sees everyone talking about how Assad Zaman was "literally" coming up with RPF about himself and Eric Bogosian in an interview]

Me: ah, fandom's doing its little "interpret an innocent comment in Some Kind Of Way" thing again, let's go find the video and do our own critical thinking about what was actually said here--

Assad: What would happen if I said-- [words that cannot be interpreted as anything but RPF fanfic]

Me:

Me: ok fandom gets a pass on this one actually

[hinamie]

I could've been a better man, but I'm not

more lmhs megu bc i love him. he is here fr ur lunch money :>

jjk atla!au with @philosophiums

[shycorvid]

A demon twins idea where they think they're brothers, but due to some mishaps half of Danny's DNA belongs to Dick while Damian got Bruce's. They only find this out because Danny got real mad at his Grandfather and bit him hard enough to draw blood that one time so Ra's checked to see if he got rabies from his idiot grandchild and something in those tests didn't look right. He got his doctors to investigate further and oh no that child is Grayson's, they have to get rid of him fast.

Because Bruce might get a little mad at Talia for hiding his son from him if he ever finds out, but Richard Grayson? Richard Grayson would rain hell upon them.

[canisalbus]

Ok ok hear me out: it could end in tragedy,, AND have a happy ending. The attempt(s) on Machete’s life force him to flee, he doesn’t even have the chance to find Vasco. Cue gay longing for at least a few years while Machete despairs over the loss of his love, his life, his status. He and Vasco only reunite (again) in their later years. Their relationship is forever flavored with loss and loneliness, but that only means they savor every moment that much more

I also I would like to see them as old men. Vasco would be so droopy :)

You gave me such old dog brainworms.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Good Morning, World.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[s-aint-elmo]

they could have been such haters together

(ID in alt text)

[why-the-heck-not]

today very much wasn’t as cozy as the pictures of it, but let’s pretend it was

[inkskinned]

you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.

(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)

but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.

(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)

there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.

(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)

you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.

(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)

you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.

in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.

but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.

they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.

it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.