#life without plastic
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this beautiful idiot went to live with someone else and honestly, both of our QOL are much better HAHA
#she just could not vibe with a house full of other animals#her anxiety manifested in insatiably eating everything#not just food#cardboard plastic you name it#i had to lock cupboards and put books on the bin so she couldnt open it and rummage through it#she screamed for food constantly#she innappropriately toileted constantly#to the point where i bought two automatic litter trays so they were always spotless in case that was the issue#she was medicated and given daily enrichment#but nope#anyway after over a year of kind of hating our life together#i bit the bullet and rehomed her#her food obsession has disappered and besides peeing on their bathmat once#she has used the litter tray without issue#we make a commitment to our pets yall#but do not force yourself to keep them if you are both miserable#i wish i was brave enough to have done this sooner#anyway#rehoming is not the devil#and you can do it responsibly#bye ferg i'm sorry to say i don't miss you#but i'm so glad you're finally happy#fergie#the cat edition
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saw some tags on one of your posts and u have a cat name midna?? 🥺 I love that 🥺 can we see a pic pretty please





oh boy do I EVER have a cat named midna. and she is Deranged
(bonus: rare photo of midna being NOT a maniac + tiny baby muppet midna)



#today I went digging under the couch to figure out where all her springs went#and found THREE of my d20s which I guess she stole during my last dnd game without my noticing#like I knew she was picking up my dice but I didn’t realize she was STEALING THEM AND DROPPING THEM UNDER THE COUCH#she’s a menace to society with zero common sense too much energy zero fear and a talent for being annoying on purpose#when she wants my attention she will not just go do something she knows she shouldn’t#she will loudly meow first to make sure I’m watching. and then do the thing she knows she shouldn’t#she’s a PEST and she’ll be one year old on February 2nd#and I love her even if she’s probably an alien#asks#and yes her eyes are actually that brown/orange in real life#midna is: very vocal. extremely bossy. probably the pickiest cat on the planet. big fan of eating plastic tho#crunchy treats? chewy treats? of any flavor? freeze dried minnows? no#plastic bag? mmm yum munch munch
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Hard to believe that I ever genuinely thought that I deserved genuine human connection or passion or creativity or uniqueness or pretty much anything when it's so clear that after 23 unless you're part of the 2% that's a celebrity or an influencer you just become a true drone to society, or I am considered worthless
#I believe now that I'm the kind of adult that is treated with complete inhumanity from start to finish#hard to believe that there are people out there that are getting treated like royalty while people like me will go the rest of their life#without even one true and genuine conversation that's simply relates to interest or passions or pretty much anything at all other than s#working class slavery#if it wasn't for me talking to myself through all these years I would have become plastic by now#this world is so strange and obscene and I'm at the bottom of it
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body positivity posts are out here giving me new insecurities 🙏🙏 crazy idea but maybe we shouldn’t post videos talking about how ASHAMED we used to be of certain ways are bodies look but now we love ourselves DESPITE how UGLY we must look to everyone else 😊😊
#i saw a woman posting a tiktok a few days ago talking about how she was wearing her bikini without shame this summer#in spite of a certain body feature#which is great for her!! but that video and all the comments only had the opposite effect on me#bc i never knew that this body feature that i also have was ever viewed in this way#and now i’ve spent the last few days worrying about how im going to look in a bikini this summer😭#and honestly how people are going to look at me for the rest of my life#bc wdym you were all considering plastic surgery????? i didn’t even know there was a procedure to ‘fix’ this bc#i never knew this was something people wanted to fix 😭#anyway rant over
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Day 47!! Chiikawa!!
#papr daily#mafukasa#eyestrain#bright colors#love the contrast between this and yesterday's (they are on the same sketchbook page this is awesome)#anyways#crazy shit happened today I'm loredumping#When school ended n me and my friend were walking nearish the courtyard together I just. Feel someone taking my water bottle out of my bag?#I thought it was this specific friend who usually does that but when I turned around there was literally??? No one standing there?????#like obv it was crowded but like. Yk. Whoever took my bottle was straight-up Gone#and me n my friend were just confused trying to figure it out for like. 3-5 minutes and then she just?? Saw my bottle???#Sitting on the ground in the middle of the courtyard?????#And obviously we got it but when we picked it up it was EMPTY#I didn't drink a DROP of water from that bottle today btw#And we looked over and just like. Along the side of walkway going into the courtyard there was just a line of water#So someone TOOK my water bottle EMPTIED it out fully and then DITCHED it#WHAT THE FUCK???? WHO DOES THAT?????? WHAT WAS THE POINT????????#I mean it's very funny and makes it so obvious I go to a big public school but like. Chat.#I was nearly about to just leave without my water bottle 💀 and that is just a huge waste of water vro#Like the grass was literally not even a foot away if you're gonna dump out a whole bottle of water might as well do it there????#I think it's by far the most apalling thing that has happened to me in my high school years if not all my education life like hello???#I think the funniest thing is that like. There's so many freaking vending machines with water in it why steal someone's bottle for allat#(also might be an importantish thing to note that this is not a plastic bottle I'm talking about it's a steel one from like. 8th grade)#anyways that's my little story for the day 🙂↕️ public school is so. Interesting#but I digress lmao#gn chat :D#I'm not going to sleep yet because I have a dbq and some notes to write but still
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Scared. Of what? Scared!
#Ive made this post like 3 times now#But without fail it keeps fucking happening#Theres this part of me who still thinks someone could be behind us#We could have to fight for our sibling's life at any time#We're completely isolated and alone#Its not true but its fucking scary bc he thinks thst it is so so deeply#I can feel fucking tape on my face I can hear everything I can feel the plastic of the table I can hear everything
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book binding 🤝 3d printing
being the hardest thing in the goddamn world to find information on when it comes to the supplies you need and how to care for/store them
#//juri speaks#this is ALSO why i don't enjoy that our library keeps acquiring things without having a plan/prior research#like the 3d printer was a gift so at least we didn't spend money on it but. lord alive#we would have known it was more than just the printer and the filament if we'd researched this earlier#also the person we worked with to get it set up like. doesn't understand how brittle our filament is i guess?#''oh i just use a ziploc and a desiccant packet'' well that's nice but it didn't preserve literally any of the stuff you gave us#we need to dry it somehow and THEN i will be getting actual air-tight storage for it AND desiccants#and not just the worst sealing plastic bags i've ever seen in my life#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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awh hey thank u dad
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How to begin a sustainable way of life
This is a draft of something I've been writing for a couple months. It is mainly focused on the culture of the USA. Feel free to repost or otherwise share, with or without credit.
Do not tell people what to do—help them do it!
Give the gift of relief from being forced to engage in society’s unsustainable ways of life.
“People need to eat more plant-based foods.” ->Talk about your favorite recipes, give others recipes, cook for them, and grow vegetables and plants in your garden and give them away as gifts.
“People need to repair their clothes.” -> Offer to repair others’ clothes, and teach people how to repair their clothes.
“People need to buy less clothes.” -> Give them old clothes that you don’t want, help them repair their clothes
“People need to buy less plastic stuff.” -> Learn to make things that can serve the same purpose, such as baskets, and give them as gifts. Let people borrow things you own so they don’t have to buy their own.
“People need to stop using leafblowers and other gas-guzzling machinery.” -> Offer to rake the leaves. You can use them as compost in your own garden.
“People need to be more educated about nature.”-> Learn about nature yourself. Tell people about nature. Be open about your love of creatures such as snakes, spiders, and frogs. Do not show awareness that this could be strange. You are not obligated to quiet down your enthusiasm for creepy crawlies to demonstrate awareness that it is weird. Point out at every opportunity how these animals are beneficial.
“People need to use cars less.” -> Offer rides to others whenever you must go somewhere. Whenever you are about to go to the store, ask your neighbor or your friend who lives along the way, “Is there anything you need from the store?”
You cannot control others’ behaviors, but you can free them from being controlled.
If you think to yourself, “But this would be so difficult to do!” ask yourself WHY? Why does your society coerce you into less sustainable ways of living, forcing you to consume excessively? After thinking about this, consider that it is less simple and easy than you thought to make more sustainable choices, so why would you judge others for not doing it?
Do not act alone—act with others!
Environmentally friendly behaviors that can be done alone, without collaborating with or consulting another person, are the least powerful of all. Whenever an “environmentally friendly” behavior is suggested, figure out “How can I give this as a gift?” or “How can I make this possible on the level of a whole community?”
“Personal choices” do not work because every single person has to make them individually. If you are focused on making your own personal choice, you are not focused on others. If you are not focused on others, you are not helping them. If nobody is helping each other, most people won’t be able to make the “personal choice.”
You inherently share an ecosystem with your neighbors
Start with your neighbors, the people physically close to you. You live on the same patch of land, containing roots from the same plants and trees. You can speak to them face to face without traveling, which means you can easily bring them physical things without using resources to travel.
Always talk to your neighbors and be friendly with them. Offer them favors unprompted and tell them about how your garden is doing. Do not be afraid to be annoying—a slightly annoying neighbor who is helpful, kind, and can be relied upon for a variety of favors or in times of need is a necessary and inevitable part of a good community. If you make the effort to be present in somebody’s life, they will have to put up with you on some occasions, but that is just life. We cannot rely on each other if we do not put up with each other.
Simply spending time with someone influences them for good
Every hour you spend outside with your neighbor is an hour your neighbor doesn’t spend watching Fox News. Every hour you spend talking with someone and interacting with them in the real world, eating real food and enjoying your real surroundings, is an hour you don’t spend only hearing a curated picture of what reality is like from social media.
Isolation makes it easy for people to become indoctrinated into extremist beliefs. When someone spends more time alone, watching TV, Youtube, or scrolling social media, than they do with others, their concept of what other people are like and what the world is like comes more from social media than real life. TV and online media are meant to influence you in a specific way. Simply restricting the access these influences have to yourself and others is helpful.
A garden is the source of many gifts
If you grow a garden, you can give your neighbors and friends the gift of food, plants, and crafted objects. This is one of the foundational ways to form community. When you give food, you provide support to others. When you give plants, you are encouraging and teaching about gardening. It is even better when you give recipes cooked from things you grew, or items crafted from things you grew. You can also give the gift of knowledge of how to grow these plants, cook these recipes, or craft these objects.
More on gift-giving
Some people are uncomfortable with receiving items or services as gifts. They want to feel like they are giving something back, instead of having obligation to return the favor hanging over them.
It can help to ask a simple favor that can be easily fulfilled. People generally like the feeling of helping someone else.
When you give someone a gift, it can help to say something like “Oh, I have too many of this thing to take care of/store/eat myself! Do you think you could take some?” This makes your neighbor feel like they are helping you.
When allowing others to borrow items, you might not get them back. Don’t worry about that. It just means the item found a place where it was needed the most. You can ask about the item if you think it might have been forgotten, and this can create an opportunity for a second meeting. But don’t press.
If the person you give to insists upon some form of payment, this is a good opportunity to negotiate a trade.
Ask to be given compostable or recyclable things
Ask your neighbor to save compostable scraps, biodegradable cardboard and paper products, and any other items that might be put to use. Use them in your own compost pile. Or, start a compost pile at the edge of the yard where you both can add to it. Remember that “wet” compost like vegetable and fruit bits needs to be mixed with twice as much of “dry” and “woody” compost like cardboard, leaves, small twigs, paper and wood bits.
Use the front yard for gardening
Overcome the cultural norm that the front yard is only decorative. Use the front yard for gardening so you can be seen by others enjoying your garden, and others can witness the demonstration of the possibilities of land. In the front yard, anything you do intentionally with your land can be witnessed. It also makes you a visible presence in your community.
Grow staple foods
Don’t just grow vegetables that cannot be the core component of a meal themselves. Grow potatoes, dry beans, black eyed peas and other nourishing, calorie-dense foods. Grow the ingredients of meals. You could even build a garden around a recipe.
Invite neighbors and friends over to eat food made from things you grew
Be sure to send them home with leftovers.
Grow plants for baskets
Containers are one of the fundamental human needs. If we had more containers, we wouldn’t need plastic so much. You can learn to make baskets, and to grow plants that provide the raw materials for baskets.
If someone rakes their leaves, ask to have the leaves
If you see someone putting leaves in bags, don’t be afraid to ask if you can have the leaves. More likely than not they will be happy to agree.
Collaborate with neighbors to plant things in the no-man’s-land of the property line
In the border land between your neighbor’s yard and your yard, it is almost always just mowed grass because no one can plant anything without it affecting their neighbor. But these border lands add up to a lot of space. It would be much better if you talked to your neighbor about what would be nice to plant there, and together created a plan for that space.
Give others the freedom to wander
Make it clear that you will not get mad if the neighbor’s kids play in your yard or run across it. Invite the neighbors onto your land as much as possible. Tell them they are allowed to spend time in a favored spot whenever they would like.
The power of the hand-made sign
If there is a yard sale, you always know about it because of the hand-drawn signs placed around. Therefore, a cookout or unwanted item exchange can be announced the same way. In rural areas I have seen hand-made signs that say: FIREWOOD or WE BUY GOATS or EGGS. This is one of the few technologies of community that remain in the USA. If someone who looks to buy and sell can put up a hand-made sign, why shouldn’t you?
Religious people or people with strong political opinions like to put signs everywhere. If they have the confidence and courage to do so, why shouldn’t you?
So if there is a message you would like everyone to see, use the simple power of the hand-made sign. Proclaim “BEE FRIENDLY ZONE!” above your pollinator garden with all the confidence of a religious fundamentalist billboard. Announce to the world, “VEGETABLES FREE TO ALL—JUST ASK!” “WE TAKE LEAVES—NO PESTICIDES.” Instead of YARD SALE, or perhaps in conjunction with YARD SALE, you can write, PLANT EXCHANGE or SEED SWAP or CLOTHING SWAP. Who can stop you?
Someone has to do it for society to change
Some of these ideas might be eccentric, strange, or even socially unacceptable, but there is no way to change what is normal except to move against it. Someone has to be weird. It might as well be you.
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ik we talk about "karma" in the sense of "whatever you do will come back to bite you", but in a more realistic sense it just means action. every action has a reaction, etc. which is why its incorrect to blame your god/gods for the way you're mistreated in life bc 1. everyone has free-will and 2. they dont have control over the wheel of karma (at least not in hinduism), so when you're mistreated, you shouldn't ask "what have I done to accrue karma in the form of mistreatment" you should ask "why do these people suck so much", lol. it's not your god/gods punishing you, its other people exercising their free will and choosing to use it in a way that makes them suck as human beings 🤷 dont let people get off the hook by blaming the gods or some sort of nebulous "karma" you cant pin down, blame the people for being pieces of shits, dont let them think they're not actors in this and are just dutifully mistreating you on behalf of the laws of karma, bc they aren't, thats not how karma fucking works.
#yes yes ik i engage in 'ur gonna get ur karma' thought and 'why r u doing this to me god' thoughts too but thats like. an emotional response#its not the intellectual side of my brain speaking that knows better#its the emotional petty child in me that hates people and life that's speaking lol#if anything- with regards to karma- aka action- the only thing you should be asking yourself is 'what steps have i taken to end up in this#situation' and sometimes you didn't do shit wrong and other people just suck and they'll get negative shit for it too later#i do think 'whatever you do will come back to bite you' is true in a philosophical sense and maybe a bit in a metaphysical sense#but i dont think its always that clear or easy.#like sometimes my 'karma' is stepping on plastic water bottles or whatever other crap is on my floor bc i did the lack of action of cleanin#it up. its not that deep. sometimes its Just That.#i think karma can encompass both 'things you do will come back to you' and just simply 'action' but everyone only things its the first#when im p sure that wasnt even the original understanding of it? but maybe im wrong...#from what i gather 'what goes around comes around' wasnt the original meaning.#i think 'what goes around comes around' can stand on its own without having to be labeled karma all the time bc then ppl act like#*thats* the only karma that exist and then you end up in a thought loop about everything like 'what could i have possibly done to deserve#this' when maybe you didnt even do anything *wrong* per se you just made a poor choice#its a lot more simple than the metaphysical way people make it out to be. yes obviously everything you do something will react.#you engage in this world and the world reacts. naturally. sometimes it can be a grander 'karmic justice' thing but sometimes#you move your muscles to pick up a water bottle and a water bottle is picked up yaknow sdhjgfdshjgsd#dont get lost thinking everything is some sort of divine punishment ig is what im saying.#bc i have been there. bc some things i genuinely seriously ///cannot/// fathom why it happened to me.#also? sometimes its not your karma. sometimes how you're effected is someone elses karma.#like claiming to love something yet letting it wither and die...
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Hello
my name is Aya, I am 26 years old, currently living in the northern part of Gaza City, and I am a mother of two children. My oldest is my daughter, Sana'a, who is 5 years old, and my youngest is my son, Wasfi, who is 3.

Since the morning of October 7th, 2023, our lives have been turned upside down. We have lived through the hardest days of our lives, facing displacement and homelessness. We have been forced to leave our home more than ten times since the war began. We would leave without knowing where to go.

We sought refuge in schools and relatives' homes, hoping we could return home and that this nightmare would end. But our house was bombed, and our dreams were destroyed. We became homeless and displaced.

Every day, we wake up to the sound of bombs and rockets. I lived in constant fear and terror with my children, especially when my family's house was bombed while we were taking shelter there.

We are experiencing a real famine in Gaza. I’ve gone to bed with my children many nights without dinner because there is no food available. We have had to eat animal and bird feed due to the high cost of flour just to fill the hunger of my young children. Even after eating it, we all suffered from diarrhea and severe stomach pain. My children developed rashes on their bodies due to the spread of viruses and the accumulation of garbage. There is also a severe shortage of water, and even when we find it, it's not safe to drink.

My children cry, asking for vegetables, fruits, and eggs, but we can’t afford them because we have no income. The gas shortage has forced us to use fire for everything—cooking and baking—using plastic and pipes because firewood is so hard to find.

My children also developed jaundice, and I struggled a lot to get them better because there was no access to vegetables, fruits, or medicine. I even feared that my son might have developed polio because he already had leg problems before the war, and they worsened due to malnutrition.



Winter is coming, and we have nothing for it. I need clothes and shoes for my children to keep them warm, but I can’t buy them because they are so expensive.
For this reason, I beg of you and hope that you can support me, even with the smallest contribution, so I can provide my children with the most basic necessities of life.
I was displaced with my children to my family's house, tears in my eyes. On the way, Salah Al-Din Street was bombed, and the Israeli occupation committed horrific massacres. By the grace of God, we survived for the first time. We lived in terror and fear. A few days later, my family's house was bombed, and we were pulled out from under the rubble, miraculously surviving for the second time.
When my husband heard the news that we had died, he came to bid us farewell, only to find us alive by God's grace. We returned with him, but as the situation worsened and the fire belts in our area increased, we started to flee again and again, not knowing where to go next.
I beg of you to share my story and help me continue to live.
✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #230 )✅️
Vetted by butterfly nu #1133
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slightly niche moment- seeing people post about watching their animal slowly die / suffer over a few days instead of just euthanasing it makes me kinda mad
#this is vaguing a rat death post. where the guy knew it was dying.#i have kept rats for years and only one died naturally#the others? i could tell. you know when they're not right. when they're struggling#and suffering#you can tell. you know when they're dying. you know your animal.#at least#i did.#so every one of those beloved pets died quietly and calmly at home in their blanket with chocolate in their sleep#through gas. i use co2 gas. you can make it at home with 2 ingredients. vinegar & baking soda in a plastic bag with a hose run to the cage#once theyre asleep move them into a deep sealed container and flood with gas and leave them for an hour in there to ensure true death#dont bury until theyve gone cold. co2 can induce a coma state instead of death if not applied properly so always wait & confirm true death.#its kinder. its easier. its a way to gently carry them onto the next life without the days of agonising pain#a rat that stops eating can take a week to die. its not a pleasant way to go. just put them down. you will know when its unrecoverable#any animal for that matter#animals#the dog barks#personal rant
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Hi. I’m not dead lol
I’ve been trying to 3d model some armor for my hippogryph suit, but the modeling program I’m using (zbrush core mini) wants me to pay a fucking subscription fee to import the fursuits head base into the program so I can use it as a base. So I actually know the dimensions of what I’m fucking working on. Importing should be a basic fucking feature for ANY COMPUTER PROGRAM. And if you can’t tell, I hate subscription services. (I’m tempted to put services in quotes)
Also one of the locking magnets in my printers ams keeps coming loose. So I’m going to have to buy a new part. On a printer I’ve had for four days 🙃
So my creative process is kinda slow rn. Ugh
So I’m still around, I’m trying to work on projects in the studio, but keeping motivation is really hard with all these minor obstacles -__-
Honestly I have some animal minifigures/toys that I’ve been meaning to paint just for fun, so I might do that until that new part comes (and to take a break from printing
#EVERY FUCKING 3D MODELING SOFTWARE IS A FUCKING SUBSCRIPTION SERVICE. LATE STAGE CAPITALISM HELL!!!!!!#you can’t even own a fucking computer program without paying for it for the rest of your life#it would be cheaper to just pay even like 100$ to actually keep it#rather than the thousands you could spent on the subscription for your WHOLE GOD DAMN LIFE???#and then what if the company shuts down??? then you spent all that money just for it to disappear#rather than downloading the software and paying once and using it as long as you want#even if the company shut down it would still be on your computer#ugh idk#going to go paint some little plastic snakes for a bit. it’s therapeutic
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Okay so. For like. Probably a year or so, my phone's screen protector was really fucked up. Like, chunks had chipped off so all there was was the adhesive. There were parts of said adhesive layer that were curling. Some days, I like. Could not type an A to save my life. There was some pretty gnarly cracks through it

Photo evidence with the understanding that a lot of the cracks were made due to pulling it up.
Girl had been on her deathbed for a while and my friends have been begging me to get a new screen protector for months now. Originally, I had planned to get a new one once I got a job. First paycheck sorta thing. However my mom surprise gifted me a new screen protector and like. Yall.
It is beautiful. My screen hasn't been this smooth in actual years. Everything I swear is brighter which is crazy actually.
Cherry on top, my phone had not one crack in its actual screen
#day musings#I just#Like this is amazing#Texting is so easy without curled up adhesive plastic#I can see everything#This is great#I gotta thank my mama tomorrow#what a quality of life improvement
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Creamy or Crunchy

Pairing: Avenger!Bucky x Avenger!Reader
Summary: Bucky joins you grocery shopping to everyone’s surprise.
Word Count: 3.7k
Warnings: Bucky hovering; Bucky knowing his favorite people; little bit of protective!Bucky
Author’s Note: I don’t know what this is but I was in need of some silly fluff. Hope you enjoy! ♡
Masterlist

He’s been trailing after you since you left the tower, stuck to your side.
Not in an obvious way, not in a manner that would draw stares or second glances, but in that ever-present way of his - like a second shadow or an old instinct that never really shuts off.
You’ve barely gone five blocks to the nearest grocery store, and Bucky has stuck close the whole time, keeping pace without a word.
It caught everyone off guard when he volunteered to come with you.
He had been slouched in his usual spot at the kitchen counter, cradling a cup of coffee he never seemed to finish, and looking like he had nowhere in particular to be. So when he had straightened, eyes trained on how you pulled on your shoes and muttered a gruff “I’ll come with you,” there was a moment of pause in the conversation between Natasha, Steve, Clint and Sam lounging on the couch in the common room.
Even you had blinked at him, thrown off by the suddenness of it.
Still, you didn’t argue.
Normally, grocery shopping isn’t something that interests anyone in the tower. It is a mundane, civilian thing - something of a life most of you had long since left behind.
There are people who handle it, services that deliver whatever you need at the touch of a button. But you aren’t looking for efficiency. You are looking for something real - something that can make you feel like a human being again.
You’d just gotten back yesterday from a month-long solo mission in Vorkuta, Russia. It was rather harsh. You spent those weeks in the cold, in silence, every step a deliberate calculation, every breath rationed as if you weren’t entirely sure when you’d be allowed another. You operated alone, only allowed to talk to Tony once a week for updates. It was the kind of quiet that made a person feel less like a person and more like an echo.
So you need something normal now. Something unremarkable.
No mission, no intel, no carefully rehearsed exit strategies.
Just a trip to the store, because you want to pick out your own food instead of eating whatever shows up in the tower’s stocked fridge. You want to grab things impulsively - maybe a bag of chips you don’t need or a carton of juice just because it looks good.
You want the simple, stupid pleasure of choosing something, just because. Of standing under the fluorescent hum of grocery store lights and deciding between brands of cereal and coffee creamers like it actually matters.
And Bucky, for all his presence, says nothing.
He just walks with you, hands stuffed into his pockets, eyes darting between the sidewalk and the people passing by. He is relaxed, but only just. There is tension in the way he moves, like he is running an assessment every few steps, tracking details of things you don’t care about at the moment.
The doors to the store slide open with a mechanical hiss, spilling warm, artificial air onto the street.
Inside, there is that familiar smell of waxed floors and cold produce, the sounds of shoppers, the beeping of registers.
A cart squeaks somewhere to your left. A child giggles near the bakery section. A bored-looking cashier stares blankly at the register screen. A tired-locking employee is restocking shelves.
It’s nothing special. But it feels real and humane in a way you need.
Bucky steps in behind you, scanning the store out of habit, then looking at you as if waiting for direction.
You grab a basket and move forward.
He follows without a word.
You walk through fruits and vegetables in bright, and glassy colors, stacked in neat abundance. The air smells like citrus, earth, the scent of misted greens, and something fairly plastic all slightly overwhelming your senses after a month of smelling mostly cold air.
You extend a hand toward the lemons, fingers brushing the textured skin of one when you feel the weight of the basket shift.
Bucky’s hand curls around the handle, pulling it from your grip and holding it himself.
Your gaze snaps up to him, but he isn’t looking at you. Not directly. His eyes are fixed on the rows of produce in front of you, his brows drawn together just slightly, his mouth set in that endearing little frown.
He stands close. Close enough that you can feel the warmth of him. Close enough that, if you shifted just an inch, the fabric of his sleeve would brush against yours.
It’s not intentional, this proximity - it’s more like a habit. He doesn’t seem to realize he’s doing it, doesn’t notice the way his presence expands to fill the space between you until there’s almost nothing left.
He exhales through his nose, shifting his weight slightly, eyes sweeping the fruit display as if it’s something to be figured out rather than casually shopping through.
His metal fingers whir slightly as he flexes his grip around the basket handle.
“This is a lot,” he murmurs, almost absently.
You keep glancing at him. It takes you a second to realize he is speaking at all, his voice being so quiet, a thought that accidentally made its way out.
“What?” you ask softly.
His eyes fall to you briefly, then back to the fruit. His mouth tightens, jaw working, debating whether to explain it or just let it drop.
“Back then,” he says, still not quite looking at you. His eyes scan the apples, the oranges, the rows of neatly stacked avocados and kiwis and papayas flown in from places he never got to see. “You had your basics. Apples. Pears. Some oranges, if you were lucky. But this?” He tilts his head slightly. “This is a lot.”
He doesn’t say it with wonder. He says it with assessment, categorizing this excess, measuring it against whatever memory of the past lingers in the spaces of his mind. Like he is trying to decide if this abundance is a good thing or just another shift in the world that changed without him.
For a second you wonder, if he is talking to you at all - or just thinking out loud, caught between time periods, a man stretched across decades that won’t quite line up.
Your fingers brush the lemons again, grabbing one and carefully putting it in the basket Bucky is holding. “Well,” you mumble, keeping your voice light. “You should see the cereal aisle.”
Bucky huffs out something that’s almost a laugh, something genuine and his eyes land on you again.
You move and pluck what you need. Apples, zucchini, a handful of bright bell peppers. A bundle of fresh basil, its scent still on your fingertips - something Wanda has been asking for. Some mangoes, ripe and golden, the kind Sam offhandedly mentioned craving the other day.
Bucky watches.
He doesn’t reach for anything himself, just keeps his grip on the basket as you fill it and trails closely after you.
His eyes track every motion - the way your fingers test the hardness of an avocado, the way you turn a tomato in your palm, the way you pause just a second before deciding on a bunch of grapes.
He simply observes.
You step over to the plums.
Their deep purple skins glisten under the lights, some nearly black, some streaked with dusky red. You pick one up, pressing it lightly with your thumb, feeling the faint give beneath your touch. Satisfied, you reach for more, slipping them into a paper bag one by one.
Bucky doesn’t say anything.
But you feel him.
The attention he gives you.
His face is unreadable, expression carefully neutral, but there is something behind his eyes - something considering, something caught between memory and recognition.
You don’t know if he realizes you are getting them for him.
You don’t know if he remembers, or if it is just something subconscious, some buried instinct nudging at him in a way he can’t understand.
But you remember. You remember the way he stared at the heap of plums on the kitchen counter weeks ago, the way his fingers had twitched with a want to take one, but he hadn’t. And the way he watched Wanda as she used them to make a pie he didn’t end up eating.
“Do you want some more?” Your voice is casual, warm. And when you glance up at him, he is already looking at you.
Then, almost abruptly, he clears his throat, dropping his gaze. The fingers of his metal hand flex once around the basket handle. He shifts his stance slightly but does not move away from you. When he speaks, his voice is low, almost careful, almost bashful.
“S’ fine.”
But you catch the almost-question in the way his eyes move around, how his fingers tighten and release.
So you grab a handful more and drop them into the bag without a word. Then you fold the top down and place it into the basket.
Bucky doesn’t look away this time.
And he continues wandering along with you through the aisles.
The plums sit among other products and you catch him glancing at them once or twice.
You reach for a carton of eggs when there is a shift.
Not in the air, not in the store itself, but in Bucky.
His posture tightens, his grip on the basket adjusts slightly. You don’t immediately know why, but then you turn your head and see a man standing a few feet away, watching you.
It’s not overtly threatening, not enough to draw attention, but something about his gaze lingers too long, too deliberate. His eyes trace the shape of you, moving slow, assessing. He isn’t leering, isn’t smirking, but the way he looks makes your skin prickle.
He seems to debate if he should say something. Waiting for an opportunity.
You barely have time to move away before Bucky does.
He doesn’t make a sound, doesn’t say a word, just shifts seamlessly into place - between you and the man.
It’s not a dramatic gesture. No sudden motions, no confrontational stance. Just his presence - him planting himself in the way, broad shoulders squaring, jaw setting, scowling.
That man takes his brown eyes away from you and meets Bucky’s gaze, and whatever he sees there - whatever lives behind those icy blue eyes - is enough to make him rethink his interest. He looks away, scratching the back of his head, shuffling back a step, and seems suddenly far more interested in bread.
You exhale softly. Bucky doesn’t move.
He stays right where he is, a silent wall between you and whatever attention you haven’t wanted. His scowl lingers for a second longer before he glances back at you, eyes sweeping over your face as if he is making sure you are fine.
You tilt your head, offering a small, gentle smile. “Everything good?”
His lips twitch, almost like he wants to say something but doesn’t quite know how to form those words.
“Yeah,” he mutters, swallowing.
But his stance is still slightly stiff, his fingers can’t stay calm around the basket handle. And he glances, just once, in the man’s direction - making sure he stays gone.
Something warm fills your chest.
You missed him, while you were gone.
He’s always such a grounding presence at your side.
You missed his dry, reluctant commentary whenever the team does something ridiculous.
You missed walking into the common area with him brooding in his usual chair, pretending not to listen to conversations he’d eventually grumble his way into.
He was there when you stepped off the jet yesterday.
It wasn’t necessary for him to be there, it was six in the morning, after all, but he was.
He hadn’t said much - he never says much - but his eyes ran over you in a way that told you he had been waiting. That there was something heavy underneath that furrowed brow and the almost too casual nod he gave you. Something like relief. Satisfaction. And something much more profound.
You remember how he was when you left.
Standing off to the side of the hangar, arms crossed, jaw pressed tight as you made your final checks. It also wasn’t necessary for him to be there, but, again, he was.
He said goodbye briefly, wished you luck, but in the way you felt him watch you board the jet it seemed there was more he wanted to tell you.
And when the engines had roared to life, when the ground beneath you had begun to shrink, you caught the last glimpse of him - standing stiff, pensive, his mouth pressed into a thin line.
Now, he walks beside you, trailing just a half-step behind, his grip steady around the basket that should be in your hands, watching you more than anything you’re planning to buy.
Maybe that’s why he came with you.
Maybe that’s why he hasn’t strayed, why he hovers close, why his eyes find you like he is memorizing something he doesn’t want to lose track of again.
Maybe he missed you, too.
He is not grumpy, but there is still a tension in him. Something wound too tight in his shoulders, in the set of his jaw, in the way he glances at you like he wants to say something and then doesn’t.
You can’t have that.
Your eyes scan the shelves as you walk further along, knowing that Bucky will follow.
“What kind of soup does Steve eat?”
Bucky’s brows pull together at your casual question, as if he can’t believe that’s what you asked. “Soup?”
You nod, dead serious. “Yeah. I mean, does he have a favorite? Chicken noodle? Tomato? Something tragic, like plain broth?”
Bucky exhales sharply, almost a laugh and something in him relaxes ever so slightly. He tilts his head back a little as if this is the most absurd thing anyone has ever asked him, but he humors you.
“Steve doesn’t eat plain broth,” he says in that low rasp that sometimes sends a shiver down your spine. Now is sometimes. “He’s got more sense than that.”
You hum thoughtfully, reaching for a can on the shelf, inspecting it like it holds the answer to some great mystery.
“So what is it, then? Something classic? Or does he secretly go for the weird gourmet stuff?”
Bucky steps closer, peering over your shoulder. The fabric of his jacket brushes against your back.
You glance up at him, arching your brow.
“You don’t know, do you?”
Bucky rolls his eyes, but his face is soft. The scowl has faded. There is a tug at the corner of his mouth. “Of course, I know.”
“Uh-huh.”
He huffs, reaching past you to grab a can from the shelf, fingers brushing yours briefly. “Clam chowder,” he utters. “There. Happy?”
You blink, genuinely caught off guard. “Wait. Really?”
Bucky smirks, just a little, just enough to be real.
“Yeah,” he says, voice a bit quieter. “Really.”
“Well, then,” you quip, taking the can off his hands and putting it in the basket. “He shall have it.”
Bucky huffs out an amused laugh.
You walk a little slower now, Bucky falls into step beside you. He seems lighter now, his face softened as he watches a little boy excitedly run off to a certain aisle while his mother calls out for him.
You plan on keeping him that way.
You spot a ridiculously, colorful display stacked high with an array of different kinds of peanut butter.
“Creamy or crunchy?”
Bucky blinks, turning to look at you. “What?”
You gesture toward the display like it’s obvious. “Steve. What kind of peanut butter does he eat? Creamy or crunchy?”
There is a beat of silence. Then, something seems to turn alive in Bucky’s expression. His lips twitch as if he suppresses a smirk and doesn’t want to give you the satisfaction.
“You serious?”
“Deadly.” You fold your arms, tilting your head. “I feel like he’s a creamy peanut butter guy, but I could be wrong.”
Bucky is hovering again, looking at the shelves like this is suddenly a debate worth considering. His arm brushes against your side, but he doesn’t move away.
“You’re wrong.”
You glance at him, eyebrows raised. “Oh?”
“He’s a crunchy guy,” Bucky says, reaching for a jar with his flesh hand and inspecting it like proof. “Says the creamy stuff’s got no texture. No character.”
You snort.
Bucky hums, still holding the jar, rolling it absently in his hand. He looks at ease. The basket dangles from his metal fingers as if it weighs nothing, even though it is filled with products.
You watch him.
The tension in his shoulders is practically gone and you know you should probably leave it there, but you don’t.
Because you want more.
More of this, more of him, more of that unguarded space where he forgets to be closed off.
So, you bite your lip and tilt your head at him before asking carefully. “What about you?”
Bucky glances at you, a small crease forming between his brows. “What about me?”
You gesture vaguely. “What kind of peanut butter do you like?”
For a moment, he just stares at you, like the question has never occurred to him before. Like no one’s ever bothered to ask.
You can almost see the gears turning in his head, his fingers tightening slightly around the jar. The hesitation is there. He doesn’t know how to answer. Perhaps he doesn’t know if he has a preference. Or it’s just been a long, long time since someone cared enough to ask.
You wait, patiently.
Finally, he lets out a cough, looking back at the display as if searching for an answer among the shelves. “…Crunchy,” he mutters. “I guess.”
You gin. “Yeah?”
He shifts his weight, looking rather uncomfortable but not in a bad way. Just unsure. This is unfamiliar ground for him, not knowing what to do with the attention.
You reach forward and pluck the jar from his hand before he can second-guess himself.
“Alright,” you say, dropping it into the basket with a decisive little thud. “Crunchy it is.”
Bucky observes you do it, something shimmering in his expression - something soft, a little hesitant, but warm. Like this tiny, seemingly meaningless choice holds a weight to him.
His jaw flexes slightly, as if he is about to say something, but he just exhales through his nose and shakes his head. “You’re ridiculous.”
But there is no bite to it.
And this time, he is the one to start walking, making sure you come along, staying just a little closer than before.
You are nearing the checkout registers when Bucky suddenly stops walking. It’s so abrupt that you almost keep going, but the absence of him beside you makes you pause.
You turn, finding him standing in front of a shelf, scanning its contents with a strange kind of focus, considering something.
You wait, watching the way his eyes search the options, his brows furrowing slightly. There is no tension in his posture, no obvious reason for the sudden stop - just deliberation.
Then, without a word, he reaches out, grasps a familiar-looking package, and drops it into the basket.
A soft thud.
Your gaze falls down, and your stomach does something strange when you realize what it is.
Chocolate-covered almonds.
The ones you always grab when you’re wandering the tower’s kitchen late at night, mind still wired from a mission, too awake to sleep but too tired to focus on anything real.
The ones you mindlessly snack on when you’re curled up on the couch, half-listening to, half-joining a conversation, or watching a movie.
The ones you didn’t even realize you had a thing for until you see them sitting in the basket between his plums, Steve’s soup, and the peanut butter Bucky prefers.
Your lips part slightly, surprised, searching his face. “You- Why’d you grab these?”
Bucky doesn’t even hesitate.
“Because you like them.”
Matter-of-fact. Simple. As if it’s obvious.
Just a fact.
Like it’s something he has known all along, something he has cataloged somewhere deep in that careful, quiet mind of his without ever making a big deal of it.
The realization unsettles you - not in a bad way, but in the kind of way that makes your chest feel suddenly too full.
You swallow, the corners of your lips twitching slightly, trying to ignore the warmth creeping up your neck.
“How do you know that?”
The words leave your lips lightly, bright with curiosity, playful in their demand. But beneath it, there is something you don’t quite let slip.
Something about the fact that he’s been watching.
That he’s noticed.
That he has paid attention in a way you didn’t think anyone has.
His grip on the basket adjusts for the hundredth time, but not because it’s heavy, he just seems to need something to do with his hands.
He schools his expression into something nonchalant, something careless, but it’s betrayed by the hint of warmth dusting across his cheekbones.
“You’re always munchin’ on ‘em,” he says, a teasing edge lacing his voice. He tries to sound smug, like it is an observation, just a simple fact, but there is something softer beneath it. Something like fondness.
You don’t even know if it’s been that obvious. If you truly eat these things out in the open that often.
Or if he just really is that observant.
That realization settles deep in your chest, warm and startling all at once.
So you just huff, pretending like your heart isn’t skipping beats, like his answer isn’t winding around something tender inside you.
“Well,” you remark, nudging his arm as you start walking again, “now I feel self-conscious about my snacking habits.”
Bucky lets out a soft chuckle. And when he falls into step beside you, he leans in slightly, voice just low enough for you to hear.
“Don’t.”

“The most sincere compliment we can pay is attention.”
- Walter Anderson

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your strange relationship with butcher!simon riley cw: murder and mention of unintentional cannibalism (not by reader or simon)
simon was scary. a retired soldier now working back in the butcher shop he had when he was a scrawny teenager, taken over the business from the lad who trained him back in the day. you couldn't help but swoon over him, you looked pathetically out of place in his little roadside butcher's shop. a sweet little thing in comparison.
to you, he was all bark, and no bite. snide remarks with no real hint of malice under his tongue, a smirk creeping up under his thick mask as his dark eyes stared you down. it made you queasy, fluttering behind your soaked panties that made your thighs clench.
your relationship with the man was strange, every week or so, you'd pop in for a hunk of meat that, unfortunately, wasn't him. he'd gave you the finest quality there was, and told you, "'s on th'ouse this week," in that gruff voice that was slightly softened when talking to you. except he told you that every week.
he always offered to walk you to your car, especially if you paid him a visit later in the day, claiming in a grunt, "lo'ta bad men ou'ere, pre'ty thin' like ye'self's need'a guard dog." you merely giggled. or he would walk you back to your place of origin if you didn't bring your car, tugging you close to his side and refusing to let you walk on the roadside.
or whenever he 'wasn't around', you swore you felt the hairs on your neck stand and an undescribable feeling of being watched, in a way that spread warmth up into your chest and down to your weeping cunt. somehow you knew it was him.
and you always wondered why the men in your town who hit on you disappeared without a trace, or the low-lives on the street who whistled and hollered had gone without a scream. the male population was slowly dwindling, and those left fled to other nearby areas in fear.
it's not like you complained, less hassle in your life dealing with pathetic excuses of men and feeling safer walking back home on the sidewalk at night after a late shift at the diner, or studying at the library, if simon wasn't at your side.
little did you know, stashed in the back of that bloody butchery, hung about a dozen or so bodies and counting, ready to be prepped and cut to sell out to his customers. not you, of course, he couldn't do that to you.
like clockwork, you appeared on monday, picking up your regular order of your supply for the week. the bell chimed over the door as you stepped in, dressed in pretty colors, a harsh contrast to his all black and white bloodied apron. god, it looked good on him.
"wot'sit f'r today, li'l lady? the usual, yeah?" he cocked his head to the side, burly arms crossed over his broad chest, making him look bigger in appearance in a way that made your pussy clench.
you nodded shallowly, a polite expression on your pretty face, "yes, sir," you replied kindly, a sweet, comfortable smile despite the blood smeared up his arms, dried crimson between his fingernails. if anything, it made him hotter.
"sure thin'," he nodded once, turning into the back, the smell of metallic and carnage blasted his senses, walking over to a special fridge with meat supplied just for you. he'd been so lost in his thought, he hadn't heard the rustle of the plastic overhead the door, but he sure heard the horrified gasp, and he froze.
"simon?" your voice quivered as you eyed the poorly hidden bodies, some hung up, others cut to pieces, limbs strewn about the countertops, ready to be prepped.
fuck, you'd gone and done it now. guess you're his forever.
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