#like! good for you but you just hurt not only me but my friends and a whole fucking community

[ccsainzleclerc5516]

Love Me Again

Pairing: Lando Norris x reader

Warnings: smut

Exes to lovers - this was requested so I hope you like it!!

To be completely honest, Lando doesn't even know what happened that night one year ago. He knows very well that he drank too much, got drunk like never before and that the next day he lost you.

You came to his apartment and found a hair band in the bathroom that wasn't yours. Lando knew whose hair tie it was, but he tried to hide it from you and convince you that it was yours. Of course with that, he only made things worse. The fact that he decided to lie about it hurt you even more.

You threatened to leave him immediately if he didn't tell you what happened the night before and who spent the night in his apartment. It didn't take long for Lando to break down and tearfully tell you that one of his girl friends spent the night at his place after going out. The morning after, he barely remembered anything, but he could have sworn that he hadn't even kissed her, let alone slept with her.

His only fault was that he brought her with him to the apartment and let her sleep there, but even that was more than enough for you to break your heart into a thousand pieces.

You knew which female friend it was. You never even liked her and even though Lando always told you that you had no reason to be jealous, it annoyed you that she was throwing herself at him every chance she got when the two of you were together.

She was too close to him for your liking and then when you heard that she was the one who slept over at his place that night when he was dead drunk, it was over for you.

Lando cried, despaired, begged you to forgive him for months, trying to convince you that for him there was only you, but you couldn't get over your pride and forgive him. In the end, you even believed him that maybe there really wasn't anything between the two of them, but the trust was broken between the two of you and it couldn't be fixed anymore.

Since you two were together for two and a half years before you broke up, you were very close to his family. They adored you and considered you a member of the family. They couldn't believe that you broke up, even they begged you to forgive him, but even though you decided not to, you still remained on good terms with them and continued to hang out from time to time.

And just like that you found yourself on a huge luxury yacht celebrating Mila's third (idk how old is she??) birthday together with Lando and his family. It was a three-day celebration in the small circle of family and for the sake of that you decided to remain calm and behave normally around Lando.

It wasn't easy for you to be so close to him yet so far away. It was even worse for him, but he enjoyed having you around. Of course he tried in every way to reach you, approach you, talk to you, he did everything just to get your attention. From time to time he would succeed, you would find it funny how he tried everything, so you would give in and engage into a conversation with him.

On the last night, everyone went to bed pretty early because they were exhausted from celebrating, swimming and sunbathing for the past three days, but you weren't so exhausted, so you decided to stay in the lounge area of ​​the yacht and be with yourself for a while. The sky was beautiful, full of shining stars and the feeling was so peaceful. You closed your eyes for a moment, but not for long because you were soon startled by none other than Lando's voice.

"You decided to sleep under the sky tonight?" He asked making himself comfortable on the sofa next to you.

"No, I was just enjoying looking at it."

"With your eyes closed?" He mocked.

"What else do you want other than to disturb my peace?" You roll your eyes sitting up from the lying position.

"I was very hot, so I couldn't sleep. Thought I'd come here to the pool to cool off" He says looking at the pool in front of you.

"It's like" You take a look at your phone to check the time. "Almost 1 a.m. and you're going to get in the pool now?"

"Yeah, wanna join me?" He smirks.

"No, thank you." You laugh rolling your eyes at him again.

He gets up from the sofa and begins to remove his shorts, leaving only his boxers on. You were a little embarrassed and you didn't expect him to start undressing in front of you, so you cleared your throat and looked away.

"C'mon, it's nothing you haven't seen before, y/n" He mocks seeing how flushed your cheeks got.

"I'm going to my room, you have fun" You say getting up and fixing your oversized t-shirt that served as your night gown.

"No, come on, stay, keep me company." He pleaded before stepping into the pool. "Please?"

It didn't take long for him to persuade you to stay, because you secretly wanted to, you just didn't want to admit it so you sat down on the edge of the pool dipping your feet into the water as you watched him slowly threw himself in. Diving under the water he swam closer to you.

"You enjoying yourself?" You ask paddling your feet.

"It would be even better if you jumped in with me" He says placing his hands on the edge on either side of you.

"Not a chance" You resist pushing him a little with your feet. He chuckles biting his lip and taking your foot in his hand pulling you to himself a little.

"Lando, don't you dare" You warn him when you feel yourself slide down a little.

"You're not wearing any shorts?" He asks tilting his head to the side to peek under your t-shirt. You gasp quickly closing your legs and pulling your shirt down.

"You're so inappropriate, get away from me" You push his chest with your feet pushing him away from yourself only for to swim back to you again.

"Did you have any fun these past three days?" He asked curiously.

"I did, I have always enjoyed spending time with your family. It was good to see everyone again."

"Even me?"

You stop and sigh softly at his question not wanting to look him in the eye. it still hurts, stings. You'd be lying if you said you weren't glad to see him. You still love him after all, but you're still not sure if you want to forgive him.

"I'd rather not answer that"

He can't hide the hurt look in his eyes after your statement, but he also doesn't want to push you away from him by bringing certain topics up again.

"Well, I'm sorry to tell you, but I had a talk with Mila today and she told me that I am all you talk about. She says it's getting too much even for her to listen to you" Lando being Lando, of course, turns everything into a joke just to lighten the mood. You can't help but burst out laughing at the nonsense that he was saying just to say something.

"There we go, that's the laugh I wanted to hear" You blush at his caring words hiding your face in your shoulder. He takes a risk and places his hands over your knees slowly pulling them apart to stand between them and you surprise both of you when you let him.

"Lando.." You sigh hesitantly when he slowly puts his hands on your waist and pulls you closer to him.

"Please, let me" Before you could even ask him let you what?, he pulled you down into the pool with him. You gasped and your skin crawled as the slightly cold water soaked your t-shirt making it clung to your body.

"Oh my God, oh my God!" You were breathing rapidly trying to grab the edge to get out, but Lando pulled you by your waist closer to his body.

"Hey, it's okay, it's okay"

"You're completely crazy" Your mouth complains, but your body responds differently to his touch especially when he moves one of his hands from your hip to your leg making them wrap around his torso.

"That's better" He says quietly glancing at your lips. You have to admit you feel a little uncomfortable, especially with his lips less than two centimeters away from yours. You haven't been this physically close to each other in over a year and you've almost forgotten what it feels like to feel his skin on yours. "It's just me" He whispers and it somehow calms you down when you remember that it's Lando, your Lando.

"Lando, you can't do this.." You say, but wrap your arms around his neck hiding your gaze in the crook of his neck. Your gesture encourages him so he hugs you tighter and gently kisses you on the cheek.

"Baby, I miss you so much" Your heart trembles at his choice of words. "I'm losing my mind without you" His voice breaks when you look at him and he moves your hair out of your face. Your fingers make gentle circular motions over the back of his head as you press your foreheads together.

"I swear only hope that one day you'll love me again keeps me sane" He continues.

"I've never even stopped" You quietly confess.

Even if he tried, he couldn't describe the feeling of hearing that from your mouth. He felt as if he had come alive again after such a long time.

He couldn't hold back anymore, everything in him was dying to feel you, to kiss you so he crashed his lips against yours and kissed you the way you kiss a person you love more than your life, but haven't been able to touch in more than a year.

You didn't even think about resisting anymore, you gave in and kissed him back with the same force. He walked with your legs still wrapped around him to the edge of the pool pressing against you with your back against it. His hands quickly slipped under your shirt exploring your body again after so long enjoying the sound of your moans.

"Please..please tell me that no one..has touched you..no one but me" His voice was quivering as he tried to get the question out to which he wasn't sure that he wanted to know the answer to.

Lando was your first. First in everything basically. And he was so proud of it. He loved your innocence and the fact that no one had ever made you feel the way he did. You were all his and that's why he had a particularly strong protective feeling towards you. And he probably would lose his mind if he heard that someone else had touched something that only belonged to him.

"No one but you" You panted making him go feral.

His hands went under your butt gripping it before his fingertips moved your panties aside. He grinded his crotch into yours nibbling at the skin of your neck.

"Lan.." You moaned wanting more, but hating to ask for it. Luckily he knows your body like the back of his hand and knows what you need very well so he slipped his middle finger inside of you. One was soon replaced by two making you throw your head back giving him full access to bite and suck on your neck.

"Fuck.." He hissed as the aching feeling in his cock kicked in desperately needing to be touched. "Baby, I need to feel you or else I'm going to explode" He grunts.

"Let's get out of the pool, yeah? We can't fuck in here"

He lifted you up from the water sitting you onto the edge before getting out of the pool himself. You took off your wet shirt leaving yourself only in soaked panties and a bra. He looked you in from head to toe before pulling you to him and laying you down on the sofa hovering over you.

As he pulled his boxers down and his cock sprung off you looked down at him with a slight concern in your gaze and he noticed it.

"What, baby? Is everything okay?" He asked leaning down to kiss you caressing your cheek.

"Yeah, it's just..it's been a while.." His gaze softened and he smiled pressing a kiss to your forehead to calm you down.

"We'll take it slow, okay?" He assured you. He pulled down your bra taking your tits out and attaching his lips around your nipples and with every passing second of him doing so you were getting wetter and wetter. He then took his cock in his hand rubbing his tip over your pussy up and down a few times hissing at the sensation.

He stopped at the center and felt you getting nervous as your breathing quickened. "It's alright, baby, I know you want this, I can feel how wet you are. I'll go slow, I promise."

He slowly pushed the tip in planting kisses along your jawline to distract you from the pain. He pushed a little further and you squeezed your eyes whimpering and holding your hands against his chest.

"It hurts Lan, it's too big.." You cried out trying to close your legs so he put his hand on your cheek gently caressing it. It took everything in him not to cum right away at you complimenting his length.

"Shh, I know, baby, but you have to let me in okay? We'll make it fit, yeah? Like we always used to" He cooed you pushing your legs further apart. "Just a little bit more and it's fully in. You can take it, love, I know you can."

Little by little and he pushed all of himself in staying still until you felt comfortable enough for him to move. "That's it, just like that, baby, always such a good girl for me" He was so impatient to fuck you, to cum all over or inside you it didn't matter to him, but he decided to take his time with you because he wanted you to feel good above everything else.

Once the pain was replaced by the feeling of pleasure, he started thrusting in deep and fast stretching you out in the way only he knew how. When you felt confident enough you wrapped your legs around his torso to push him even deeper.

"Does it feel good?" He asked and you nodded. "This reminds me so much of that time I fucked you on the couch in my parent's house."

"Ohh, Lando” You moaned.

"Where anybody could've walked in on us and see me pounding you from behind. Fuck, you have no idea how much this turns me on.." He groaned.

"I missed all of you, missed fucking you, feeling you squeeze my cock, playing with your pussy, oh" His words were coming out as broken sobs struggling to last as long as possible. "I feel you clenching are you almost there, love?"

"So close"

"Yeah? You're drenching my cock baby. You're so tight, fuck, I'm gonna cum in seconds."

"Ohh..yes yes, ahh"

"Oh shit baby.." Once he saw you slide you hand down to your clit and start playing with it, he lost it. His body shuddered, his cock twitched inside you and he came undone. He kept moving slowly until both of you rode out your orgasms.

When both of you came to your senses he started hugging you and kissing you as if you were going to run away every second. You leaned your head to the side and watched him smiling.

"So..does this mean you're mine again?" He asks tracing his fingertips over your collarbones.

"It does not, but" You emphasize. "If you try a bit harder maybe you can change my mind"

"Understood. Let's get you cleaned up for round two then"

"Lando, that's not what I meant…”

[oddinary4bts]

Chasing Cars | ch 6.5 (jjk)

☆summary: when your brother goes to study on a semester abroad, your life collides with his best friend Jeon Jungkook, who's coincidentally your roommate. Will you survive the collision, or will you crumble into dust?

☆pairings: brother's best friend!Jungkook x younger sister!female reader

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, some chapters contain mature content)

☆genre: forbidden love?au, college!au, slice of life!au, smut, angst (as usual a lot of it), fluff

☆warnings: alcohol, jungkook is a mess, swearing

☆word count: 4.4k

☆a/n: this can almost count as a full chapter lmao oop, I hope you enjoy reading <3

☆join the discord server here!

☆series masterpost

☆☆☆☆☆

If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol

☆☆☆☆☆

Jungkook is excited. He hasn’t had his friends over in forever, and he and Jimin are already planning to get plastered even though Sera said they shouldn’t.

He’s been needing it, if only so that he can get you off his mind. So that he can forget how awkward things were this week, how you both avoided each other like the plague as if nothing truly ever happened between the two of you.

It’s been making him feel more bitter than he’d care to admit, so getting plastered has been sounding like heaven since Jimin suggested it. Or maybe Jungkook’s true goal is just to get Jimin drunk, if only so that he stops teasing him about you.

About that evening you watched anime with them, and Jungkook couldn’t resist but lean against you, far too close for comfort.

“Is she going to be there?” Jimin says for the thousandth time, wiggling his eyebrows.

They are currently setting up the living room, organizing all the alcohol they got. Sera is lounging on the couch, and she raises her head to look at them.

“Is who going to be there?” she asks.

“Tae’s sister,” Jimin explains, and then slides his gaze back to Jungkook. “They were pretty cosy-”

Jungkook interrupts Jimin’s teasing by punching him in the shoulder, clearly hard enough to hurt as Jimin immediately winces, massaging the spot he hit.

“Fuck off,” Jungkook grumbles. “We’re just roommates.”

“Oh my God, they were roommates,” Sera imitates from the couch, just like the Vine from years ago.

“Exactly my point,” Jimin says, mischievous smirk on display.

“You know I’ll kill you?” Jungkook says, slightly shaking his head as he clenches his jaw.

Jimin laughs, plopping down on the couch next to Sera. “That’s if Tae doesn’t get to you first.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes, choosing to ignore the comment this time around. It helps that his phone starts ringing with a call from Lisa incoming. He picks up to learn that she’s outside with Eunwoo and Jaehyun, and Jungkook walks over to the door, opening up for his friends.

Lisa smiles shyly as she meets his gaze, and Jungkook engulfs her in a quick hug before dapping up the two guys. As he follows his friends back to the living room once they’ve ridden themselves of their coats and boots, Jungkook glances towards the bend in the hallway, almost imagining you appearing.

But you’re not here at all. He heard you leave over an hour ago, while he was gaming in his room waiting for Jimin and Sera to show up with the alcohol.

He wonders where you went. If there’s a party on campus that you’re gracing with your presence right now, and somehow his stomach twists at the thought. He pushes it to the far back of his mind, focusing on drinking now that it is time to do so.

As he gets slowly tipsier with every passing sip, Jungkook can’t help but notice how Lisa is bolder than she usually is. Sitting closer, being touchier, and Jungkook would push her away if it wasn’t for the way Jimin is looking at them with narrowed eyes, suspicion painted on his features. 

Lisa could be a good distraction, Jungkook reckons. Not for himself - he wouldn’t have sex with her at all as she’s part of the friend group, and he’d hate to make things awkward. But she could be a good distraction for Jimin’s incessant teasing, so Jungkook seizes the opportunity, lying down with his head on her lap as the boys - Mingyu has now also arrived - are playing Smash on the TV. 

Jungkook feels the way Lisa stiffens for a few seconds, before relaxing as he offers her a quick smile. She melts then, and she starts playing with his hair, which feels way too good in his tipsy - or maybe drunk now? - state.

He sits up when it’s his turn to play, coincidentally grabbing a new beer for himself. He’s just barely won the game when the front door opens, a gush of cold air rushing in, and then you appear, cheeks rosy from the late winter outside.

The sounds fade around Jungkook as he meets your gaze, and his heart comes to a halt in his chest as a frown appears on your face. He hates the sight of it, and he’s too drunk to tell himself it’s not his job to take care of it, so he yells, “Peach!” at the top of his lungs.

He feels everyone turning towards him, and he quickly jumps up to his feet, wobbling slightly as he makes his way towards you.

“It’s freezing,” he says, closing the door. 

You meet his gaze, cocking an eyebrow. “You’re drunk.”

He can’t help himself. He flicks your nose, if only so that your frown dissolves. “Astute.”

You glance towards the living room, but Jungkook doesn’t look away from you. You’re a prison to his gaze after all.

“You didn’t tell me you were hosting something,” you hiss through your teeth.

He leans against the door as you meet his gaze again. “Oh peach, sorry. I thought we weren’t on speaking terms.”

Damn him and his drunk brain, because why the fuck would he say that? 

He hides it behind a grin, and then escapes by walking back to the living room, feeling your eyes boring into his back on the way.

Sera greets you, but Jungkook forces himself to listen to the conversation around him, laughing when everybody does. It’s a little forced, but it goes unnoticed, and the next time he glances towards the door, you have disappeared.

“I want to play with your hair again,” Lisa says in his ear, startling him. 

Sera gets up to head to the kitchen, and Jungkook glances at Lisa. “Huh?”

She pouts, her doe eyes innocent. “Like earlier?”

Right. He’s too drunk to refuse the offer, and he lies down, head in her lap, as she starts running gentle fingers through his hair once more. It doesn’t last too long - the second you emerge from the kitchen after Sera’s return, Jungkook pushes himself up, waving you over.

“Come here!” He narrows his gaze as his eyes drop to the bowl in your hands. “Wait, are those my noodles?”

You glance down. “Maybe.”

“Stop stealing my shit,” he complains, and he gives Lisa the controller he was holding before standing up to walk towards you.

He tries to grab the bowl, but you turn away, offering your back to him. “Nu-uh,” you say. “They’re mine now.”

Jungkook knows his eyebrows are almost touching over his eyes as he says, “No.” He then wraps an arm around your waist, which forces you far too close to his body for comfort. He feels the immediate reaction, his ears slowly turning red, and he covers it up by stealing the bowl from your hands. You try to reach for it, but you’re too small, and he whoops in victory.

“If you like my food so bad, just ask me to cook some for you,” he says, looking down to meet your gaze.

Your face is so close he believes he feels your breath on his skin, and his blood heats up, turning to magma in his veins.

“What are you doing?” you say through your teeth.

Fuck you’re so pretty. It’s all he can think of, and he smiles, winking at you. 

“Making sure you don’t eat the noodles I know I’ll need tomorrow morning for the hangover.”

You clench your jaw. “Just don’t drink too much.”

His eyes trail to the coffee table. “I think it’s a little too late for that.”

“Please, Jungkook,” you say a few seconds after he’s met your gaze again.

Something’s wrong. He feels it in his bones, and he frowns, lowering the arm that was holding the noodles up. “What’s wrong?”

“I just had a shit date, and I’m still hungry. I just want to eat something.”

Hearing that you went on a date does something incredibly ugly to him, and Jungkook takes a step back, handing you the bowl so that he can fold his arms on his chest. “Who did you go on a date with?”

Your answer comes far too quick for it to be normal. “It’s none of your business.”

It dawns on him that he probably already knows, and the sour feeling turns bitter. “Please tell me it’s not the guy from last week.”

“Jungkook,” you firmly say. “It’s none of your business.”

The spike of anger and jealousy forces Jungkook to clench his fists. “He’s an asshole.” He lets out. “Why would you go out with him?”

You grit your teeth. “Because we have history. But I promise you that after the shit date we just had, I’ll never see him again. Happy?”

He isn’t, yet he still says, “Yeah.”

“Now can I go eat in my room while you guys do whatever it is that you’ve been doing?”

You glance towards the living room, and Jungkook looks just in time to see everyone turning their head away from you two. 

The last thing Jungkook wants is for you to go to your room. Hell, he’d go with you if only to make sure you’re okay, truly okay, yet he can’t really do that, can he? So instead, he suggests, “Why don’t you stay with us? To cheer you up?”

You meet his gaze, scanning his features for a few seconds. Jungkook hopes you can’t hear his heart beating out of his chest, settling only when you let out, “Okay.” You pause, sighing, and then add, “But you should chill on the alcohol, you reek of it.”

He narrows his gaze at you, though he has to admit he’s relieved by your teasing tone. It’s much more like the Y/n he knows, and it stays that way for a little while as you move to the living room, and he sits right next to you.

Almost close enough to touch, but not quite touching. He tells himself it’s just to keep a safe distance, to make sure Jimin doesn’t say anything, yet when you joke about the food being too spicy, and Jungkook says, “We just have to build up your tolerance”, his hand lands on your thigh, like your thigh was the metal, and his palm the magnet.

He doesn’t realize it at first, but when you widen your gaze, looking like a startled deer, his mind zeroes in on the spot where he’s touching you, and he immediately pulls his hand away, his heart beating wildly in his chest.

And then someone nudges him in the back, and he glances over his shoulder for half a second, just long enough to notice Jimin looking at him, and Jungkook knows he fucked up. He fucked up bad, so he moves away from you, forcing himself to lie back down with his head in Lisa’s lap.

It hurts you. He can tell that it does from the way you stiffen, barely even eating anymore, looking like you’d rather be anywhere else in the world than right here. But you have to understand - he’s doing this for your good. Both his and yours, to make sure Jimin doesn’t tell Taehyung anything.

It lasts for a little while, you staring at the TV while Lisa runs her hand through his hair, massaging his scalp soothingly - does she notice he’s tensed too? But then Jaehyun asks if you want to drink something, and all the anger and jealousy Jungkook felt earlier when you mentioned your date bursts out of him.

“Careful, Tae’ll kill you if you speak to her.”

He’s been drinking more. Way too much, if he’s honest, and the words come out slurred. He’s too far gone to care, and he ignores what Jaehyun answers to focus on the TV, on the beer next to him and on Lisa’s fingers in his hair. 

He wants her to stop. He wants all of them to go, to leave you two alone, but instead Lisa leans down to whisper in his ear.

“What happened between you and Tae’s sister?”

The question hits too deep. Nothing happened, he should answer. Yet everything did. Everything fucking happened and it shouldn’t have because now he wants you, always. Can’t fucking stop thinking about you, and it’s driving him crazy.

He doesn’t answer Lisa’s question. Instead, he sits up to take a long sip of his beer, and that is answer enough. Indeed, Lisa sighs dramatically next to him before grabbing her own drink. 

After that, Jungkook just drinks, which gets him far too drunk. He knows he should stop, but you’re still right there next to him, way too close for comfort yet way too far, and his mind is growing dizzy. 

It gets worse when you get up to walk to the kitchen after you’ve done shots, Lisa following behind you. Jungkook knows he has to follow, yet he’s drunk, and getting up is a struggle, but he eventually manages to push up to his feet.

He walks to the kitchen, stopping right outside as he catches sight of Lisa’s back, and you standing in front of her. 

“Peaaaach,” he yells, a lot louder than he first intended to. He plays it off by leaning against the door frame as you meet his gaze over Lisa’s shoulder. “What are you guys doing?”

Lisa turns. “Just talking.”

“Well then,” he lets out, cocking an eyebrow. “Why don’t you come just talk with everyone else?”

He wonders if he sounds as annoyed as he feels. He must, because Lisa frowns before glancing at you as you stifle a laugh. She sighs, shrugging, and then she’s walking towards Jungkook. He steps aside to let her leave, offering her a tight-lipped smile on the way.

Once she’s out and heading back towards the living room, Jungkook walks in, moving towards you.

“I’m…” he trails off, and he loses his balance for a few seconds, catching himself as he stops next to you. “I’m fucking drunk.”

“You want water?” you offer, and it warms Jungkook’s heart.

Because of course you would take care of him. Which, he reckons, is another reason why he shouldn’t stop drinking, because his heart shouldn’t warm in his chest when it comes to you.

“Water?” He shakes his head. “No, I want beer.”

“Jungkook,” you scold. “You don’t look like you should be drinking more.”

He snorts, and he steps closer to you, looking down at you where you’re standing in front of him, your pretty face tilted up to hold his gaze. You’re blocking the way to the fridge, and he clenches his jaw momentarily.

“Move.”

“Drink water first,” you insist, standing your ground.

You’re too pretty. Too addictive, and his hand finds your waist, pulling you flush against him. You shriek, pushing on his chest, but he doesn’t let go.

“Let me get a beer,” he says, and he drops his head to whisper in your ear next. “Before I do something we’ll both regret.”

But you’re so close, the lingering smell of your perfume inebriating, and Jungkook doesn’t want to let go of you... Doesn’t think he’d regret kissing you, holding you, though he knows that might just be drunk thoughts.

Sober him would hate himself.

“Listen,” you whisper, and you fall silent as he ghosts his lips on the shell of your ear. “I’m not drunk enough for this.”

He does it again, and you tilt your head to the side, allowing him better access, a clear sign that you want it just as much as he does.

Or so he likes to tell himself.

“It’s hard to pretend when you look so damn good,” he murmurs, his blood like electricity in his veins. “Always.”

“Jungkook…”

It’s the plea in your voice. It undoes him, reminds him of your brother, of every little reason why he shouldn’t be doing this right now. He steps away, horror itching in his heart.

“Sorry,” he apologizes. “Wow. You’re right. I need water.”

He stumbles to a cupboard, grabbing a glass that he then fills at the sink. He drinks it in one go, and then refills it, leaning against the counter to sip on it.

“What was that?” you ask as he meets your gaze.

He doesn’t know. He’s just insane - thoroughly, completely insane, and his body seems to think you’re the cure to the madness. 

He sighs, sucking on his piercings. “I don’t know.”

“You can’t do that.” You sound mad, and Jungkook’s heart squeezes in his chest. “Especially not when there are people around.”

He shrugs, tongue pushing against his cheek. “Sorry.”

Your features fall, eyes softening. “It’s okay,” you reassure, though he’s not sure you mean it. “You just caught me off-guard.”

He doesn’t like the sudden softness in your voice, the way it makes him want to cross the distance between you and kiss you dumb. So he does what he knows best, smirking lazily. “Liked it?”

You shut your eyes, taking a deep breath that makes Jungkook think you’re probably about to curse him and his entire bloodline. Instead, your eyelids flutter open, and he doesn’t miss the spark of mischief hiding in your pupils.

“So what if I did?”

Yup. He’s insane. He’s mad, crazy, a fool. All the synonyms in the dictionary are not enough to describe the insanity crawling in his blood, in his heart.

“Pretend, peach,” he forces himself to say. “What would your brother say?”

“He’d probably say that he’d kill you, right?” you say.

Maybe he needed the reminder. Because Jungkook feels the insanity slip away, clearing his mind. 

“Oh,” he lets out, chuckling. “Definitely. As a matter of fact, I think I’m living on borrowed time now.”

You purse your lips. “So let’s pretend, right? Safer that way.”

He nods. “I really am sorry for that,” he says, meaning how he held you earlier. “I don’t know where it came from.”

“Don’t worry about it,” you say, smiling softly. “Just don’t ever do it again.”

He pouts. “Ever?”

You roll your eyes, slightly shaking your head. “Stop. Why are you such a shameless flirt?”

He wants to answer, wants to tease you more, but he doesn’t have time to as Jimin appears in the doorway, interrupting the moment. It pisses Jungkook off, and maybe that’s why he returns to drinking. Maybe that’s why the second everyone leaves, he wants you so bad he thinks he’s about to say fuck it.

Fuck what Taehyung would think.

“I told you,” you say to Jimin as he and his girlfriend get ready to leave. “Now I’ll sleep to the sounds of him throwing up.”

Jungkook hiccups, offense swirling through him. He raises a finger and says, “I’ll have you know.” He has to pause as everything spins around him, and he shuts his eyes. “I don’t throw up.”

“Yeah, yeah, Jungkook,” Sera answers, and Jungkook glares at her.

“Let’s just get you in bed before we leave,” Jimin says.

No. Jungkook doesn’t want to go to bed. He wants you, and he wants Lisa to fucking leave him alone. 

Why is he even thinking of her right now? You might be right - he thinks he’ll throw up before falling asleep.

“And tell Lisa to stop looking at me like that.”

The words are out before he can stop them, and Sera widens her gaze. “What?”

Jungkook frowns as he looks at you. Because you’re the answer to the question, but he can’t say that, right?

“I don’t know.”

“You’re fucked up,” Jimin teases before bursting out laughing.

As he laughs, Jimin pushes Jungkook on the shoulder. Jungkook was already unsteady, and he loses his balance, falling against the wall. He lets out a surprised, “Oh shit!”, and a second later, he collapses, soon followed by Jimin.

They’re laughing, the kind of laughter only alcohol can bring forth, so loud Jungkook can barely hear as you and Sera talk. The only thing he hears is you saying that Taehyung can hardly count as a good influence, which is the most accurate thing he’s ever heard you say.

“He’s not,” Jungkook agrees, thinking about how Taehyung forbade him to be with you. “Your brother is an asshole.” He pauses, and then bursts out laughing again. You don’t say anything, so Jungkook adds, “Can you help me?”

He does grabby hands motions at you, and you scrunch up your nose in disgust. “You can crawl to your room yourself, JK.”

He frowns, sitting up to lean against the wall as Jimin does so too. Sera helps Jimin up, while Jungkook just keeps staring at you.

“I’ll crawl to your room if you don't help.”

You smirk. “Alright, let’s see you try.”

Fuck. He glances towards your door, and then looks at you again. “Too far.”

You look victorious, your smirk stretching into a smile. “Then sleep on the floor.”

“Are you for real?”

You groan, rolling your eyes, but you step closer to him. Jungkook tilts his head back so that he can keep looking at you as you say, “We should have asked your friends…” You glance towards Jimin. “Your sober friends to help bring you to your room before they left.”

Jungkook lets you grab his hands. “Peach, I much prefer if it’s you tucking me in.”

You help him stand, and though it’s a struggle, Jungkook is soon up. He wobbles on his feet, and you hold onto his arm like you don’t want him to fall again.

“I won’t tuck you in.”

All Jungkook can think of is that you’re so, so beautiful next to him with that flush on your cheeks. He wants to touch you, to hold you, and he doesn’t have any inhibitions left. A second later, he cups your cheek, forcing you to meet his gaze. Your eyes widen, surprise making them sparkle, and fuck, he thinks he’s about to kiss you dumb, to kiss you until he’s never said you should pretend nothing happened.

“What are you doing?” you ask him.

Jungkook blinks once, slowly, his surroundings coming back into focus. He turns his head towards Jimin and Sera. “Shit, you’re still here?”

He’s stupid. Inherently stupid, and he can’t focus on Jimin and Sera as they leave. No, the second you step away from him and his hand hangs in the air between the two of you, Jungkook thinks he becomes deaf. Or maybe he’s just deafened by the thunderous beats of his heart. He only comes back to reality when you step in his line of vision, Sera and Jimin now gone.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Jungkook flinches as he meets your gaze. “What?”

“Now Jimin’s going to be unto us!” You motion towards the door before folding your arms on your chest. “I know you’re drunk, but you’ve got to fucking control yourself.”

“Hey, fucking chill out, will you?” Jungkook bursts, only because he’s done.

He’s done being yelled at, done always being the one in the wrong because he can’t do a single fucking thing right in his life.

You cross the distance between you and him as he leans against the wall, smirking at the sight of your anger. Because that anger is something he knows, something he can deal with. You stop right in front of him, finger pointed towards his face.

“Don’t tell me to fucking chill.”

“Or what?” he says as he tilts his head to the side.

“Or I don’t know, Jungkook.” You shut your eyes, letting out an annoyed sigh. “Don’t you care that Taehyung might be onto us because of Jimin?”

He huffs a breath, and you open your eyes. He plays with his piercings, his tongue then pushing on the inside of his cheek. “He won’t be. Why would he?” He blinks. “Because we’re hanging out? Nah, we did that even before he left.”

You raise your eyebrows. “Not like that.”

“Like what?”

You sigh again, your annoyance so stark he thinks he can taste it on his tongue and, damn him, it’s turning him on.

“Like we’re friends,” you say. “You touching me. All that shit.”

“I thought you liked when I’m touching you,” he says.

You stare at him unblinkingly. “Shut up.”

He raises his hands in defense, smirking. “Sorry. It’s hard to help myself when you’re looking at me like that, peach.”

“Like what?” you ask, echoing his previous words.

“Like you want me,” he murmurs, and he gives in to his desire, one finger tapping gently on your clenched fist, before slowly moving up your arm. “Like you’re mad I suggested pretending that nothing happened.”

“I’m not mad,” you reply, swatting his hand away. “I agree with the statement. He’s your friend, he’s my brother. We shouldn’t have fucked at all.”

It hurts. Jungkook doesn’t know why, but it does, and he feels himself growing bitter.

Feels himself needing to hurt you, too.

“See? I knew you saw the wisdom of it,” he says, and immediately hates himself for saying it as hurt flashes in your gaze. 

It disappears quickly, and you roll your eyes, gently patting his chest.

“Then stop. Fucking. Touching. Me,” you say, tapping on his chest with every word uttered, your hand then resting flat against his beating heart.

Everything in him concentrates on that spot where you’re touching him, on the feeling of your fingers on him, of your eyes in his, and Jungkook feels himself leaning infinitesimally closer. 

“You’re the one touching me right now, peach.”

He doesn’t let you move your hand away when you try to, putting his hand over yours.

“Let me go,” you breathe out.

He can’t. He really can’t let you go.

He doesn’t want to let you go.

“I really want to kiss you right now,” he whispers.

You step away, freeing your hand from underneath his. “Don’t ever tell me that again.”

He knows it’s going to happen. The look in your eyes tells him that you know it, too, despite the words said. 

“Why?”

“Just don’t.” You scoff. “You can’t kiss me, I can’t kiss you, we-”

Jungkook grabs your face, crashing his lips on yours before you’ve finished the sentence. Because he can kiss you. Maybe he shouldn’t, but he can, and he doesn’t want to hold back anymore. Not when you reciprocate the kiss in all its intensity, pushing him back against the wall.

He hits hard, breathing out the air in his lungs. You’re quick to push your tongue in his mouth, and Jungkook wants to feel you, to taste every inch of you…

But you’re stepping away, and he can’t look at you. Not when you’re everything he’s wanted…

Everything he can’t have.

“Don’t kiss me again.” You say it like you mean it, and then you walk away. He hears your steps, and he only looks up when he hears the door of your bedroom closing behind you, putting finality into the words.

What the fuck has he done?

Read chapter 6 here!

☆☆☆☆☆

our favourite chaotic mess in all his glory lmaooo i hope you guys enjoyed! Let me know what you think of the drabble<3

All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2024. Do not copy, repost or translate

[babymex]

Toji W/Bimbo Reader!- Blurb

Authors NOTE: I 100% believe Toji would nottt speak like this. I had Rafe Cameron in my head when making this. So justice for Toji because Toji saying a lot of this does not make sense!

A thought has popped up into my brain- salivating at this:

I just know Toji would look so good next to a bimbo!reader. So much bigger compared to her and so strong.

He would take her everywhere, never wanting her to leave his side and although he’s a tough, big guy he goes absolutely soft for his little baby and he is not ashamed of her absolutely clinging to him. So even when Gojo invites the whole gang over (in another world where they’re all friends) and you’re perched up on his lap on the couch with Gojo laying across the floor and Megs, Yuji, Nobura across from you both on the couch with Nanami and Geto in chairs, you feel like you can’t be happier.

You’re all watching a random film that gojo had decided to put on but truth be told you weren’t focussing much. You had your head in Toji’s neck and you kept pushing yourself onto him. Like literally wanting to be inside his skin just because of how warm he felt.

“You okay baby? You tired?” Ever the caring boyfriend you thought. “No, you just smell really nice and you’re so warm” he smiles down at you and pats your head.

All of a sudden, Yuji and Megs get up raving about how we needed snacks so when they get up to grab a couple of beers (only for the adults of course) along with some home nachos, popcorn and Brownies, you jump up, remembering last week, when you were at a party with Geto and Gojo.

You were chilling with the boys until Geto left you with his “special brownies” though you didn’t understand why they were so special. I mean they looked like normal brownies? You remember Geto’s strict words before he left you. “DO NOT eat or touch these brownies. They’re special ones which I don’t let anyone eat. Plus Toji will kill me if you eat them. Understand?” You had nodded since you saw how serious he was.

That wasn’t fair. You saw everyone approach Geto to get one. So why couldn’t you? It’s just food? Plus everyone knows how much you loveeee your sweet treats. You tried to power through but the brownies just kept looking at you straight in the eyes.

It wouldn’t hurt if you tried one.

You let out a little cough, pulled your mini skirt down while you reached for the brownie packets. You took 1 out and started munching away. A few minutes had passed and to be honest you cannot remember how many brownies you had eaten. You got a little carried away. I mean can anyone blame you they tasted so good. A little different. Why was it so strong in flavour? And kind of bitter?

(Back to the movie night)

“Oh my God Yuu pass me the brownies they taste so nice, are these the special ones Geto? The ones from the party? Although, I have to say they tasted so weird Geto! I don’t really know how I felt about them hehe!!l”

You looked at Geto who had the most fearful expression on his face. It looked like someone had put an arrow through his chest. “What brownies baby?” You tell Toji all about the brownies Geto told you to look after and how you went through about 2 packets because of how hungry you were.

Toji would give the biggest death stare and glare at Geto the whole night!

“The fuck man, you gave my girl drugs?” “I just told her to keep an eye on them man, I made it clear not to eat them or touch them” the bickering back and fourth had you a little stressed out. Because what did he mean drugs✋🏼

“I’ll deal with you in a bit and you doll” pointing at you, he clearly didn’t look very pleased. You pouted and frowned because Toji was never one to tell off his girl especially in front of others.

“Come on baby, I told you not eat anything that looks dodgy, that didn’t look dodgy to you?”

“it’s brownies Toji of course it didn’t look dodgy plus it’s Geto, why would my first thought be something bad.”

He lets out a sigh and shifts you a little on his lap while holding your face in one hand and giving your cheeks a little stroke. “Not the point doll, I always tell you when you’re at a party to not take anything. I gotta do all the thinking for you huh? Can’t my pretty baby think for herself? Nothing in that head of yours?”

Everyone stayed silent and your frown deepened. Not just because innocent little you getting told off for something that you didn’t even think was a big deal but also because Toji was telling you off in front of everyone. How embarrassing. “And you, you fuck, do not give my girl anything again. Don’t bring her anywhere near your stupid, coked up shit. Got it?”

“Yeah man, sorry.”

You felt tears flooding your eyes but you didn’t want to cry in front of everyone so you kept it in while turning back around in Tojis lap to face the TV. You wanted to move off his lap but didn’t want to make it obvious that you were mad at him.

You were so pissed off at him. You didn’t even want to go home with him because you just know he’d bring this up again.

Authors note: Hmm, should I do a part 2?

-Baby💋

[mourninglamby]

god it's so nice to see your takes on things genuinely

As flawed as it is, i think dsmp is still an incredibly interesting and unique narrative about abuse, how it affects different people, and how it's spread and normalised. It's not a satisfying or clean narrative by any means, but i still think that it approaches its themes in a way that's fundamentally different than any other form of media and it's still worth it to spend time analysing it.

i don't know if the fact that actual abusers worked on it has anything to do with it (i would hazard a guess and say yes, but i digress), but oftentimes it genuinely feels like a look into the internal machinations of abusers, and i think it can make people more aware of the warning signs. and good analysis is the #1 way to actually bring that lesson to the surface, since the story wasn't written with that moral in mind but just stumbled onto it.

so, thank you for giving this smpand its story the time of day, i think that it's genuinely something that's worth doing and it's nice to see someone put themselves out there like you do (since i know how a lot of fans are), have a lovely day!

Ugh this is all worded soooo perfectly. This story is truly the most unique look into abuse and it never even used to word …….forgive the long tangent I’m about to go on but it’s important!! I know there is a bigger conversation to be had, particularly about the meta and the way Tommy played ctommy/how he interacted with the adults on the server, which greatly influenced the delivery of the abuse plotline. Tom Simons played Ctommy epistemologically, so the characters’ knowledge, for the most part, extended only as far as his did. Which created a devastating story ! Especially concerning cwilbur!

I wanna actually talk abt how the word “abuse” was never used, despite it permeating thru the entire narrative. This was on purpose of course. Tommy The Guy was 16. His outlook on abuse and the nuances of it likely weren’t developed enough for him to ever really understand what was happening to his character until it was too late. And in that vein, Clayton Ray Huff and william gold also didn’t think harder about the harm they caused not just Tommy, but everyone else they hurt irl. And I’ll never forget Tommy’s cry for justice before that HORRIBLE ending, saying in his twitch chat that “cdream drove ctommy to suicide!” Or when he told his chat they were Also being manipulated by c!dream, after his first prison visit. It’s so complicated and so difficult to talk about, but it’s absolutely necessary when the story itself never really…. Understood the topic it was portraying. The level of abuse apologism and victim blaming present in this fanbase had such an awful effect on me and my friends, and again, that was intentional. Send the audience they curated to silence any conversation that might allude to blaring red flags. BUT! I’m in a better headspace to discuss the intricacies of its harm and how it failed, and simultaneously investigate how it managed to be so Real.

As for the story being written by a handful of actual abusers … well……. It’s no wonder it ended like a punch to the throat. Absolute horse shit spun from the mouths of men who know what they are, and want to keep being that way. Wilbur thinks he can just Leave for a while and everything would go back to normal. Dream thought he could Start Over so that no ACTUAL consequences would ever reach him. They learn NOTHING because they don’t believe they have to. It’s sick. But it’s always necessary to remember when analyzing the train wreck of an ending both men concocted. Dsmp failed as damage control because they played abusers in that story too. And abusers don’t think they’ve done anything wrong. Completely incapable of introspection.

Okay I’ve talked enough lmfao but . I’m rly thankful I get to receive anons like this … I do not think I’m the smartest person by a long shot and seeing other people articulate these thoughts and introduce me to new things has been very healing and validating. It’s much better than the ppl who would flat out deny it or harass me lol.

[buckys-wintersoldier]

Loki as your best friend

// Pairing // BestFriend!Loki x BestFriend!Reader

// Summary // Best friend Loki - who has a secret crush on you - doing everything to make you smile when you don't feel too good.

// Authors Note // You all can thank @jiyascepter for all the Loki stuff in my mind. Congrats to you for making him to the second / third placed favorite character in the mcu. Bucky has my heart but Loki can have place two or three.

// Masterlist | Loki Laufeyson //

Loki would immediately notice when you don't feel good, he is always around you, making sure you’re feeling good.

Someone hurt you? He will hurt that person, making them beg him to stop. But Loki doesn't stop unless they say they are sorry.

Luckily you're not often on dates, so you have more time for your best friend who’s crush on you is just as big as your crush on him.

Someone says something that makes you insecure? Loki is there and shows you in every way possible that there is no reason to feel insecure.

“Darlin’, look into the mirror and tell me what's not perfect about you,” he mumbles, his thin long fingers holding you by your hips in place.

Loki's chest is pressed against you back, while he admires you through the mirror. Like always he looks like he can read your mind, knowing exactly what you plan to say.

“I'm not the only perfect you see when you look into the mirror, my dear.” His voice is so soft, a soft chuckle escapes his lips and he presses them against the soft skin of your neck.

Loki loves the way you shiver in his hold when his warm, soft lips touch your sensitive skin.

You just want to cuddle? No problem! Your best friend brings you all the snack you want, changing into comfort clothes — even when it means he has once again a shirt less in his wardrobe.

Cuddled up with your head on his small chest, his arms wrapped around you. Loki holds you close, letting you calm down while you listen to his steady heartbeat. Maybe your favorite movie is playing as well.

You don't know what could help to make you feel better? Loki does.

Maybe magic? Giving you a little show when he makes small fireworks in his hands because he knows it makes you giggle.

Tickling you? Magic can be such a good thing when it comes to tickles. You can’t escape his fingers digging into your sides but you also can't his magic tricks which tickle on your skin just as much as his fingers.

And when all that doesnt help, KISSES! Who knew his soft kisses can be so sweet and lovely? Loki will kiss your neck, your cheeks, your forehead until you feel better.

Your best friend lets you play with his hair if you want to. His hair is his most important. But when you want to run your fingers through his long black hair he would never deny you that.

Loki loves the feeling of your fingers in his hair, the way you curl it around your fingers or just braid it.

“Do you braid my hair, darling? Again, I just get the old ones out,” he grumbles with a grin on his face. What he didn't expect: Your smile to drop and you letting go of his hair. “No, no. Braid my hair, do as you're told, darlin’. I'm a god, you should listen to me.” And with that he has you chuckling again.

You want to dance? Get up and turn on the music, Loki’s in, he loves dancing with you. It doesn't have to look professionell, just being with you, having fun and see you laughing makes his world light up. Just jumping around and calling it dancing? Who cares, you both have your fun.

As long as you giggle or laugh he is happy. He would make you laugh all the time because he can’t get enough of it — of you.

You feel like everyone hates you? Loki would never. “I love you, darlin’.” “You're loved by a god, my dear.”

Loki is ready to tell you the truth about his feelings, when you ask him. He would collect all the stars to bring them to you. He would travel through the whole multiverse to be with you. He loves you, and is ready to ask you out on a date.

“Darlin’?” His voice is soft but more serious as usual. With a nod you show him to continue while you continue to braid his hair. “Do you want to go on a date with me?” He doesn't know why it took so long for him to ask you, but he will bring you your favorite flowers and your own little fireworks, and he will kiss you until you beg him to stop kissing you.

// Taglist // @kandis-mom @sergeantbarnessdoll @identity2212 @km-ffluv @lunaalovesyouu @armystay89 @suz7days @etherealdisneyvillainness @pono-pura-vida @somnorvos @meowmeowyoongles

[mafiadad5]

Interminable || mark lee

No matter how much you claim you don’t want someone, or force your feelings away, you can never hide the truth

Genre- non idol au, friends to lovers, angst, smut, fluff, slow burn

paring- mark lee x fem!reader

Warnings- heavy angst, protected sex (mdni), mentions of alcohol, sex under the influence of alcohol (consensually), heartbreak, swearing, tw- mentions of death.

Mark is green and reader is blue/ white !

Word count- 12k

Playlist- kingston - faye webster / take a chance with me - niki / intro (end of the world) - ariana grande / a new kind of love - frou frou, imogen heap, guy sigsworth / a night to remember - beabadoobee, laufey / teddy bear - nct dream / bad religion - frank ocean / hurts me too - faye webster / yume utsutsu - lamp / promise - laufey / moonlight on the river - mac demarco / love - wave to earth / only - leehi

Authors note- omg hi, so this is one of my first angst, plz tell me what you think <3 and also… sry for any spelling or grammar errors lol.

July 11th, 9:00 am- beautiful stranger

"Hi! How can I help you today?"

Was the first thing he's ever said to you, a little anticlimactic yes, but you found yourself infatuated.

This was a smoothie shop that you were trying for the first time after moving, so you took some time browsing the menu, the nameless employee asking if you needed any help with anything here and there.

"Well what's your favorite thing?" You asked, looking at him deeply for the first time.

His eyes twinkled like no other, gleaming like the evening star in the night. All you could do was stare as he spoke, taking in all of his delicate features: the way his dark brown hair laid on his forehead, the way he was so expressive as he talked, oh wait, what was he talking about again?

"That's why it's my favorite drink and the large is simply better, sorry I didn't mean to talk your head off." He giggled.

"I'll take that." You grinned softly with him, eyes lighting up as he smiled brightly.

"In a large right?"

"Mhm!"

"Great! One large watermelon smoothie for you, that’ll be 7 dollars."

Your face dropped as he punched your order in on the register. You fucking hate watermelon smoothies, the actual fruit is ok, but the texture of the smoothie you can't do it, like at all.

"Is everything okay?" He asked, looking up at you with concerning eyes.

"Yea, all good!" You forcefully smiled, pulling out your card to pay.

“All set, I’ll get that ready for you asap!” He smiled, handing back your card.

You found somewhere to sit, making yourself comfortable as you scrolled on your phone, distracted by images of his smile popping up in your head. The smoothie shop was quiet, peaceful really, you being the only customer there.

“Here you go ma’am.” You heard from beside you, knocking you out of your thoughts.

“Oh thank you, you really didn’t have to bring it to me though.” You grinned, grabbing the smoothie from him.

“No problem really, there’s no one here anyways.” He smiled back, nodding reassuringly before turning away.

“Wait!” You interrupted, tapping the side of your drink nervously.

“What’s up?” He asked. His stare made you nervous, eyes so pure it made you want to melt on the spot from looking for one second.

“I was just wondering if um, if I could have your number? You know, I’m just new to the city and I would love some people to talk to.” You asked.

Your voice was so shaky and filled with anxiety it was so easy to read your nervousness, but he didn’t mind it, he found it somewhat cute actually.

“Yes, I would love to give you my number. May I see your phone?” You nodded persistently, a small smile on your face from the relief and the excitement, handing him your phone.

“What’s your name?” He asked, dialing the number in your call pad.

“It’s Y/n, what about yours?” You said, a smile on your face as he gave the phone back.

“It’s Mark, nice to meet you Y/n.” He stuck out his hand.

His voice, his eye contact, his manners, everything about him made you blush like a little teenager in love with your high school sweetheart, and you had only exchanged a few words.

“Nice to meet you too.” You smiled, your hand meeting with his soft hand, shaking gently and slowly, his eyes locked with yours.

“Well I have to get back behind my station, I’ll talk to you later, yeah?” He said as you removed your hand from his, nodding gently, waving as he walked back behind the counter.

You decided to sit there, the vile large smoothie in front of you tasting disgustingly good now knowing who made it. You drunk awfully slow, not just because of the eye candy that worked in front of you, glancing at you and smiling on occasion, but because how the smoothie dreadfully slithered down your throat, holding in a gag every swallow, but you finished it, every last drop. God how a pretty smile could make you do anything, you hated it, but here you were.

You got up from your chair, Mark noticing you, interrupting you before you collected your trash: “Oh, I got it!”

You turned to him smiling as he quickly walked over, collecting your trash.

“Thank you Mark, I’ll see you later.”

“You’re welcome Y/n!” He beamed as you walked out the smoothie shop

You had gained three things leaving that shop: a bright smile on your face from happiness, a bittersweet hatred for large watermelon smoothies, and a new, great person in your life.

July 11th, 10:53 pm- more than words

It had been a few hours since your first encounter with Mark, you trying to get him off your mind after the blue message you sent earlier never delivered.

You laid in your bed, staring at the ceiling as your hopes got shot down. Your phone went off beside you, but you just ignored it, trying to sulk in your feelings.

You soon got bored though so you decided to take a peek at your lock screen, jumping up as a familiar unknown number appeared in your Notification Center.

Hi y/n, don’t know if my number is saved yet, but it’s Mark from the smoothie shop.

You lied on your stomach, face lighting up as you grabbed your phone, instantly opening the message.

Oh hey, how was work lol?

It was good, other than the fact I left my phone at home, and dead… most boring double shift ever lol. How was your day after you left?

It was good, just went home and watched a movie with my roommate.

Oh cool. You said you were from a different city right?

Oh yea, actually out of the state!

Oh that’s cool, but why here. ^.^?

Just trying to explore more places, I like this place so far.

Ohh nice. Well I hope I have the pleasure of showing you around the city and making you love it :) How’d you like the smoothie?

I might take you up on that haha ;) and omg it was so delicious. Very refreshing to have after my morning runs. You’ll be seeing me a lot more in the mornings lmao.

Oh awesome, I basically work every morning so it’ll be a pleasure seeing you and making my morning a tad bit better.

You sprung up with a smile on your face, running around your room hectically. Did he really mean he what said, did you make his morning better? Your mind started flooding with a million thoughts, calming as you settled down, realizing that you never texted back. You grabbed your phone again, the message still opened as you started to text back.

Lol, well I guess I'll see you tmr then, hope to brighten up your day :)

You responded, sitting waiting for a response, 5 minutes passing, then 10, and nothing. You figured he might’ve just went to sleep, he did say he had a double shift, but you couldn’t wait to see him tomorrow and the anticipation was eating you up inside all night.

July 12th, 9:13 am - it's a date! i think...

You were on your run, the smoothie shop on your mind the whole entire way.

Finally, you were there, Mark cleaning the counters, eyes lighting up as you walked through the doors.

"Good morning!" He excitedly said.

"Good morning!" You said in response, a bright smile on your face as you made your way to the register to order.

"Wait I made something for you." He said, grabbing the most despise-able , yet refreshingly large watermelon smoothie. You felt your eye twitch at the sight.

"You shouldn't have." You smiled, not forcefully, but you felt a hint of pain behind it.

"Ah, it's the least I could do." He said, handing you the drink , wiping the condensation of the cup on his white apron.

You didn't think you could gobble down another one of these, you almost died at the thought, but there you were, sitting down at the same table you were at yesterday, drinking the smoothie painfully slow.

"So like, have you been anywhere around here yet?" You turned to him as he finished cleaning the counters. "I've only been to like a few food places, but that's all." You answered.

“Well, I’m off next Wednesday. If you’re not busy then I can take you to like my favorite park?”

Your face lit up, did he like just ask you out on a date?

“Yes, I would love to, just text me what time.” You smiled.

“Yea for sure!”

For an hour the conversation kept on flowing, you two chatting it up while he worked, unfinished conversations floating in the air when other customers came into the shop pausing the long talks.

“Mark I’m so sorry to cut this short, but I have to get to my online class so I’ll see you later.” You smiled, a little sad because you felt like you could’ve stayed and talked to him for hours.

“No worries, I’ll text you later about plans. Have a good rest of your day Y/n!”

“You too Mark!” You said, throwing the finished cup away.

On your walk home all you could think about was Mark, yes you only knew him for like 2 days, but his impression had left a stamp on your heart. He would definitely be someone you would be interested in having a relationship with, and he seemed like he thought of you in the same manor.

While walking home, your phone vibration went off, Marks name appearing on the lock-screen.

Hey Y/n know we just talked lol, but I’m thinking maybe like 12:00pm next Wednesday? How does that sound?

You opened the text, a smile on your face as you typed quickly.

Hey Mark, sorry but I have my online class, but I can do 1pm if that’s ok?

Oh yea, that works for me, I can come to your house and we can walk to the park? That sound ok?

Yea that’s perfect!

Great, well then it’s a date! :p

It’s a date lol

It’s a date!

July 19th, 12:55 pm - are you falling in love?

You were panicking you and your roommate running around trying to find your favorite perfume that decided to get lost at a time like this.

Hey! I’m outside, just come out whenever you’re ready I’ll be waiting :)

Fuck, you didn’t want him to just sit out there.

“I FOUND IT I FOUND IT.” Your roommate screamed, throwing you your perfume.

“Thank you you’re the best.” You grinned, rushingly spraying the perfume on your body.

“Ok I’m going now.” You said, grabbing your purse and slipping on your sneakers at the door. You rushed out the door, rushing downstairs your eyes scanning the outside, stopping on a familiar figure wearing a T-shirt, some blue jeans, and a small tote bag.

“Mark!” You shouted, causing him to turn around. Your eyes meeting his face then the two large smoothies in his hand.

You tried to keep a smile on your face, but it seemed like the watermelon smoothies had faces of their own looking at you with snarky expressions.

“Y/n!” He smiled, jogging over to you.

“Were you at the wrong complex?” You giggled, an awkward smile painting his face as he nodded.

“Maybe… oh here I got you something.” He said laughing, handing you the dreadful smoothie.

“Oh thank you.” You smiled.

“Wow my first time seeing you out of your workout clothes, I think I like these better. Not that I don’t like how you look in your workout clothes, you look amazing in your workout clothes, but I’m just, you look good now too.”

“Thank you Mark, and this is the first time I’ve ever seen you without your uniform Mr. Smoothie King. You look good too.” You giggled as he blushed.

“Ah I try my best, I guess we should walk to the park now.”

“After you.”

You guys walked to the park, which happened to only be 5 minutes away, sitting on a bench.

“I don’t know if you’re gonna like it, I should’ve asked, but I got you a ham sandwich.” You smiled taking the sandwich from him.

“I love it thank you.” You said, removing the sandwich out of the packet and taking a big bite.

You two sat on the bench for a while talking each other’s heads off, a smile on both of your faces as you chatted and laughed together for a few hours, the time passing by so fast.

“I’m starving, do you wanna grab dinner?” He said.

“Well, I mean my place is close by we can just go there and cook something really quick.”

“Oh, I would love that.” He smiled.

“Ok let me just text my roommate to make sure.” He nodded as you pulled out your phone, your roommate responding almost immediately saying you could go ahead and she was in her room anyways.

“Ok she said she’s fine we can go!” You said, standing up and grabbing his hand, pulling him up to stand with you.

For any other man, you would never let them go into your apartment this early, but you just felt so different about him, like you would trust anything he says. I guess that’s not a good thing, but for fucks sake ever since you’ve met him you’ve seen him almost everyday, and he always makes it a point to text you throughout the day and after work so you felt like at that point, you had known him long enough to trust him.

You had made it to your house, opening the door and removing your shoes, prompting him to do the same. You sat your things down near the dining table rolling up your sleeves and heading to the kitchen, and he followed right behind you.

“I was just gonna make spaghetti tonight, do you want?” You asked, getting out your pot and pans, setting them on the stove.

“I’d want anything you cook.” He laughed, a small grin appearing on your face as he stood beside you. In past conversations it has come up that you did love cooking and actually had a bachelors in culinary arts, associates in education, hence the online cooking classes you taught, so it wasn’t strange to make a comment like that, it was actually quite flattering.

“Here can you make the sausages?” You asked, handing him the already prepped meat, Mark grabbing the bowl pouring it into the pan almost immediately, causing a loud sizzling sound to erupt in the kitchen.

“MARK!?” You turned, laughing as he backed away from the pan, looking at you like a toddler getting scolded by their parent.

“Uh oh.” He said, a smile appearing on his face before you handed him a box of noodles, signaling him to cook them instead. You two stood beside each other, talking as you watched the food.

“Mark taste this.” You said, grabbing a clean spoon and scooping some of the homemade tomato sauce you made on it, holding it up to his mouth.

“Yo, this honestly may be the best spaghetti sauce I’ve ever tasted.”

You smiled, setting down the spoon, pouring the rest of the sauce with the sausages.

“Thank you.”

You finally finished cooking, plating your beautiful creation together.

“Let’s watch a movie in the living room while we eat.” You suggested, him following behind you as you took a place on the couch.

“What should we watch?” You asked.

“ What about La La Land?” He suggested.

“Stop that movie makes me cry.” You pouted playfully, a grin painting his face.

“Well if you really don’t want to then we can watch something funny, but I’ll be here to wipe your tears just saying.” He shrugged, causing you to smile, looking down, then back up at him.

“Fine.” You said, causing him to take a happy sigh of relief.

You turned on the movie, both of you guys eating while making small comments every now and then. Fortunately, you didn’t cry, but he was your shoulder to lie on during the movie, and unfortunately it was time for him to go home.

“Are you sure you can walk home by yourself, it’s dark out now?” You asked concerned, walking him to the door.

“Yes I’m good, you only stay like 10 minutes walking distance from me, I’ll send you my location if you’re that scared.”

“Ok fine” You said dragging out your words, trying to be serious, but all you could do was melt, it seemed like everything he did, everything he said was so cute and made you smile.

“Well I’ll see you tomorrow, right?” He questioned, looking at you from outside the door frame.

“Yeah, 9:00am like always!”

“Ok, bye Y/n.” He smiled, waving before turning away.

“Bye Mark.” You shut the door, turning away.

You decided to clean up before knocking on your roommates door.

“He’s gone.” You said before walking into your room, her busting in shortly after, a smile on her face.

“Girl.” She said, bouncing on your bed with a mischievous smile.

“You heard everything didn’t you?” You asked.

“I heard enough, and girl he sounds so fucking romantic I thought I was listening to a romcom.

“Ughh tell me about it, he’s so dreamy.” You smiled, face lighting up as you thought about the string of events that happened that day, your phone vibrating before your roommate could respond.

“Omg shut up he just texted me now.” You looked at her with sparkling eyes.

“What’d he say?”

➶︎ mark<3 started sharing location with you.

Hey, just wanted to text and lyk that I had such a fun time, and we should definitely do this again :) have a great night and I’ll see you tomorrow morning.

You looked at your roommate, a smile painted so brightly on your face it hurt your cheeks.

“Girl he fucking wants you oh my god.”

“He fucking wants me!” You screamed, a bright smile on your face as you ran all over your room.

“Text back text back.” Your roommate said.

I had a great time too, thank you for showing me the park <333. Have a great night mark, see you tmr!

You and your roommate just sat talking, you really seeing how deep you were in your feelings after practically bragging to her about him. You just hope he was in as deep as you.

August 2nd, 10:35 am - surprise!

You woke up, excited to get the day started, you were even too excited to go on your morning run, putting on a simple outfit just to run errands, your first one obviously the smoothie shop.

“Happy birthday Mark!!!” You ran inside, a big smile on your face as you made your way to him. He looked up surprised, cleaning the tables, setting down his washcloth as you pulled him into a hug.

“You remembered my birthday, I thought you weren’t coming today?” He smiled as he went behind the counter, going to the register before you shook your head.

“Mark, I’m not ordering anything… but I did come to ask you for a favor.” He looked at you with questioning eyes, not responding, waiting for your favor.

“Well, my uh drawer is jammed and I really need what’s in it like tonight, my roommate isn’t there so I could use your help when you get off?”

“Oh yeah sure, I’ll head over there when I get off.” He said, a small grin on his face.

“Thanks Markie you’re the best! See you at 5. Happy birthday again!”

“Thanks.” He mumbled, going to clean again as you left. 

It’s go time.

Hey I’m otw, might be there at like 5:30 or 5:45 because I’m starving, so I’m gonna stop to get some food.

No Mark, I really need this drawer unjammed, can you plz come right away? You can get food after. plzzzzzzz :(

Alright alright, I’ll come straight there.

Yayyy!

After a few minutes you finally heard a knock on the door. You got up excitedly, making sure everything looked good before opening the door, blocking the view of the living room.

“Ok, let’s see what’s wrong with this drawer.” He said.

You let him in, a big smile on your face as he walked, eyes in shock as he looked at the decorated living room, along with the dinner and cake sitting on the dining room table.

“Surprise!”  You smiled seeing his eyes light up, looking at you, then the decorations, and back at you again.

“Yo… you really… omg I don’t even know what to say. Thank you bro oh my god no one has like ever done anything for me like this before. Thank you Y/n, you’re like the best.”

“You’re welcome Mark and Happy birthday again. Now you said you were starving so let’s eat!”

You both ate, resting on the couch after the delicious homemade chicken and rice, and cookies and cream ice cream cake.

“Do you wanna watch a movie now?” He asked.

“If you want to then we will birthday boy, but I have something for you first.” You said, pulling out a small blue gift bag.

First he pulled out the card, opening it to see a message in bright red ink, reading it in his head.

Dear Mark, I hope you have the most wonderful birthday and I’m very grateful that I could spend it with you. I hope we can spend more and more birthdays together and I want to say that I’m very grateful that I met you! 

- With love Y/n :)

He looked up at you, a smile on his face as he pulled you into a hug. “Thank you so much Y/n.” 

He pulled the other gift out the bag, jumping up out of the seat as he saw what it was.

“Y/N YOU GOT ME A LIMITED EDITION SPIDER-MAN COMIC BOOK?” His smile was so wide and full, you felt like you could climb it.

“Yo Y/n… I’m actually, oh my fucking god I… I honestly could kiss you right now oh my goodness. Thank you.” He squealed, your eyes sparkling as you looked at him.

“You’re welcome Mark. I guess we should watch Spider-Man now huh?” You giggled, pulling out the extra cushions on the couch to make more room so you both could lay down. 

You both got comfortable, watching the movie, your head on his shoulder as you both laid under the blanket. I guess you could say that you both got a little too comfortable, passing out before the movie was even over.

You woke up, unsure of what even happened and how you even got here in the first place. Mark was no where to be found, but a notification on your phone let you know his whereabouts. 

Hey, sorry to leave without saying goodbye, but you were like sleeping beauty lol. I had work and I’m for certain you’re not coming tdy so I’ll just swing by later on when I get off. Oh, and thank you so much again. I really appreciate you :D

Oh no worries, I’ll see you later, and no problem! 

You set your phone down, you couldn’t even believe how far you have gotten with him.

Seriously, your first sleepover with him, cuddled up at that. And of course you didn’t let that comment about kissing you slide, it was pretty much on your mind all night, and the moment kept repeating itself in your head, driving you almost crazy. That’s what you want more than anything, just a kiss, one kiss.

You were certain that you were almost there, but of course you didn’t want to rush things and you liked the pace of this relationship so far so I guess it is what it is right now… but it should come soon, hopefully it comes soon. 

October 27th, 9:08 am- i think im in love.

Today was like any other day, going on your morning run, then stopping by your absolute favorite place.

"Good morning Y/n!" Mark said, smiling as he acknowledged you, sticking his head back under the counter.

"Good morning Mark!" You said, walking to the register.

"I'm a little busy right now Y/n, do you mind just waiting at your table so I can finish this?" He asked.

"Sure." You grinned, going to your normal seat, scrolling on your phone as you waited for Mark. You looked to your side, noticing him holding a large mango smoothie with a birthday candle in the cap, your eyes lighting up as you realized what was happening.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday my dearest Y/n, happy birthday to you!" He sung, bringing the smoothie over to you, his cheekbones defined as he smiled.

"You remembered?" You laughed, blowing out the candle.

"How could I forget? So, I hope you're not busy tonight because I want to do something for you at my apartment." He answered.

"Perhaps I could swing by, I'd have to check my schedule." You said sarcastically, a smirk on your face as your cheeks went hot.

"Well, stop by at 7pm if you're able to Ms. Hollywood."

"I'll see what I can do." You rolled your eyes playfully, a smile on his face as he made his way back to the smoothie counter. 

You thought about what he had planned all day. Doing random task to try to take your mind off of it, daydreaming about what it would be, what it would look like, goodness 7pm couldn't get here any quicker.

Finally it arrived, the time you anticipated for all day. You knocked on his door, waiting for a few seconds before you heard the door handle rattling, him sitting awkwardly in the door frame after he opened it. You two stared at each other for a second in silence, an awkward smile on your face as you stared at him.

“Hey.” He coughed.

“Hey, it’s cold, can I come in?” You grinned, an awkward laugh sounding from him as he let you in, shutting the door behind you.

“Surprise!” He mumbled as you stood quietly, eyes twinkling as you took in all the decorations.

The first thing you saw was a big projector screen in the living room with your favorite show ‘kitchen nightmares’ paused. Your eyes slowly observed the room to see sugar cookies and decorative frosting on the coffee table, a large box with a bow sitting next to it. You were quiet, breathless really, couldn’t even find the words to say, just staring blankly.

“Do you like it, I know it’s not much, but-”

“It’s perfect.” You interrupted, looking at him with the most glistening eyes.

He smiled condescendingly, guiding you to the dinner that was on the dining table, the homemade chicken pasta, which happened to be your favorite food.

“Mark oh my goodness.” You said, taking a seat while he grabbed some drinks from the fridge.

“Yeah, once you told me that you taught how to make it on your course, I just bought the course and learned how to perfect it.” Your eyes widened as you turned to him.

“That’s like a $150 course Mark, I could’ve just taught you.”

“Then it wouldn’t have been a surprise, would it?” He said, sitting down across from you looking at you with a smug smile.

“Plus, you’ve helped me learn how to cook too, I’ve saved so much money cooking at home.”

You nodded, taking a bite out of the food he made, your eyes widening as you grinned.

“You’re good at it too. This is delicious Mark.”

“Ah thank you man, but I learned it from you.” 

You guys finished eating, and started decorating the cookies together, the show playing in the background, but Mark rushed you two, hesitant about you opening up your gift.

“Fine, I’ll open it.” You said, grabbing the card off the box, opening it, a nice purple hand written note on the card. You read it slowly, taking in every word.

Dear Y/n, there’s so much I want to say, but I don’t think words could explain it, and I know I’m probably harassing you about this present right now aren’t I haha? But it’s only because I want to show how much I care about you. Im so glad that we met and I hope you have the best birthday and many more after that.

- Love Mark

“Aw thank you Mark.” You said, pulling him into a hug before you grabbed the box, opening it slowly. He sat there a huge smile on his face, breathing deeply, looking at you with anticipated eyes, his leg bouncing as your eyes widened.

“MARK NO YOU DIDNT, SHUT THE FUCK UP.” You screamed, pulling the pot and pan set out of the box, looking up at him, mouth wide as you looked back at the box.

“Mark this set goes for like 400 dollars- Mark I can’t- Mark how did you- nobody has done anything like this for me before.” You spoke, each sentence shortening with hiccups as your eyes started tearing up. 

“It didn’t take me long to save up for, and it’s the least I could do for messing up one of your pans.” He said.

“The most you should’ve done is get a cheaper pan.” You wiped your tears with your hands, looking at the box again wondering it was all just a dream.

“The amount of times you’ve forced me to binge Hell’s Kitchen with you, you really thought I wasn’t gonna get you your favorite chefs pots and pans set that you talk about all the time?”

“No.” You snuffled, vision blurry.

“Well you deserve it Y/n, happy birthday!” He smiled brightly.

“Thank you so much Mark.” You smiled, blinking quickly trying to stop your tears, pulling him into a hug. 

“You’re welcome Y/n.”

You didn’t know what love felt like. Always used your whole life, taken for granted. Doing everything yourself with no help, no one to call on, but now you knew, you knew it for sure, you were in love.

February 14th, 9:10 am- a night to remember.

After complaining to Mark about how you've never had a valentines, he suggested that he'd be it this year, and of course you agreed. He told you not to stop by the smoothie shop, or even go on your run today, but to stay and pamper yourself before your going out later the night.

You better not be up running right now.

I was sleep actually before your loud notification woke me up -.-

Oh sorry... go back to sleep •.•

You giggled at the message, obviously you were already up, you were too excited not to be. He said that he planned to take you to a fancy restaurant, then just to go back to his apartment and bake cookies, watch movies, little things like that, but no matter what you do, no matter how cheap, you still were so excited. This was your first Valentine, and your biggest crush. 

The time passed fairly quickly as you prepped yourself for what you thought was going to be the best night of your life. You slipped on your red dress and black heels, soon hearing a knock at your door.

Excitedly you rushed to the door, opening it to see Mark in a white button down shirt and black slacks— and god his scent hit you like a speeding car.

“Happy Valentine’s Day.” He smiled, a bouquet of roses in his hand.

“Happy Valentine’s Day.” You responded, your lips turning into a smile, cheeks hurting from smiling so hard as he handed you the flowers.

“You look good.” He spoke, clearing his throat, an awkward smile painting his face.

“Thank you, I could say the same about you.” You said, smiling brightly as you sat down your flowers, grabbing your purse and a red gift bag before turning to him again.

“This is for you.” You said, handing him the gift bag, a grin on his face as he accepted it.

“Let’s open our gifts later together, ok?” He said.

You nodded, closing the door behind you. 

The dinner was very much delicious, and you two had a great time baking cookies. It was a little bit messy, just because you both were a bit tipsy, well… very tipsy, but it was fun nevertheless.

“Mark let’s open our gifts.” You giggled, as he nodded, grabbing his small gift bag.

He grabbed his gift first, pulling it out and examining it.

“You told me that you wanted to learn how to cook more meals when im not around, and I can’t have you buying my courses again, so I just made you a homemade cookbook— with like only foods that we make together, the ones nobody else has.” You smiled infectiously, Mark feeling a smile curling on his lips just from looking at yours.

“Thank you Y/n, I love it.” He smiled genuinely, handing you the small bag that he had in his hands. You opened it slowly, taking out a small black velvet box.

You looked up at him, an impatient look glimmering in his eyes as you opened it slowly, a beautiful silver diamond necklace sparkling in your eyes.

“Well damn, maybe I should’ve gotten you a better gift.” You giggled, still a little taken aback.

He laughed in response, inching closer to you.

“Do you like it?” He asked, eyes burning into your face for some kind of approval.

“Like it? I love it.” You said, eyes sparkling as you looked up at him.

“Can you help me put it on?” You said, removing the necklace from the box, handing it to mark.

You turned around, lifting up your hair, the necklace wrapping around your neck nicely. His hands rubbing against your skin as he fastened the jewelry. You turned around, your bodies close, Mark looking at the necklace as it sparkled on your skin.

“It’s beautiful.” He murmured, looking at you with a smile, but all you could do was stare— stare deeply into his eyes, god you just wanted to taste him so bad.

Your stares remained interlocked, no one breaking the eye contact, no one saying anything either.

So you did it, leaning in and finally taking his lips onto yours. It wasn’t as magical as you thought though, in all honesty it seemed like it wasn’t even reciprocated.

You broke the kiss, an awkward silence shattering around you as he just stood staring at you.

“I’m- I’m sorry.” You stuttered, breaking the silence.

Your eyes burned from holding back the tears that wanted to desperately be let out, you turning and walking away to avoid it— thinking about how your walk home would be, how you would cry deeply regretting how you ruined the day that was supposed to be perfect, but that all got interrupted as you felt a tight grasp on your wrist, turning you back around, a silent tension surrounding the two of you once again.

You looked at him with glossy eyes, a million thoughts rushing around in your brain, but your mind went blank again as his lips crashed back onto yours.

Your shoulders dropped, letting go of all the tension in your body as his hand found your face, pulling you deeper into the kiss.

The kiss grew deeper as you wrapped your hands around his neck, his free hand wrapping around your body, slowly backing you into his room, not breaking the kiss once.

His hands found the zipper of your dress, slowly pulling it down, slipping you out of the tight fabric, you pulling him out of his shirt shortly after.

There were no words exchanged, only heavy breathing as you two kissed passionately, tongues exploring each other’s mouths as he pushed you onto his bed.

You sat there, chest heaving up and down as you looked at him pull a condom out of his nightstand, eyes lighting up as you came to your senses about what was really going on.

He pulled down his pants and underwear, ripping the plastic to the condom with his teeth, wrapping it around himself before getting on top of you.

He planted another messy kiss on your lips before pulling down your underwear, lining up his tip to your aching hole.

You breathed heavily in anticipation, you practically have dreamt of this moment. He looked at you once more for reassurance before pushing himself into you. You let out a gasp, your walls wrapping tightly around him. He started to thrust at a slow pace, making sure you were comfortable before speeding up.

Your skin flushed as you squirmed under him, beautiful sounds of lust filling the room as his head rested on your shoulder, face nuzzling into your neck.

Loud moans filled the room as your bodies pressed into each others as he thrusted even faster, letting out moans and curses as your walls sucked him in.

You wrapped your hand around his bare back, scratching and itching at his bare skin as your bodies thrashed together.

“Fuck I’m almost there.” You whimpered out, clenching around him, breath hitching causing him to let out a low moan into your neck.

“Me too Y/n.” He moaned, desperately thrusting.

His hands found your arms, removing them from his back and holding onto them tightly, fingers interlocking with yours as his thrust became messier and messier by the second.

“Fuck I’m coming.” He cried out, your legs shaking in sync as he forced himself to do a few more aimless thrust, both of you moaning loudly as he rode out your highs.

The room filled with heavy breathy, you sitting there silently trying to fathom what even just happened. 

You two got cleaned up and went to sleep right after, well he did.

You couldn’t sleep though, the realization struck a cord in your brain, your mind racing from the thought that he wanted you just as bad as you wanted him, it was obviously so exciting.

You couldn’t wait to wake up together— wake up together knowing that he was yours and you were his.

You wonder what that conversation would sound like, what the moment would feel like when you two could finally call each other boyfriend and girlfriend, it had your cheeks growing warm. I guess you could say it was the best night of your life.

You shut your eyes, vivid pictures of him filled the dark void until you finally found yourself asleep.

February 15th, 11:25 am - he loves me, he loves me not.

You woke up, Mark sleeping soundly beside you, smiling strongly as you realized it really wasn’t a dream.

You hopped up excitedly, going to his kitchen to prepare some breakfast for the both of you, Mark waking up shortly before the food was ready.

“Good morning.” He said, taking a seat at the dining table.

“Good morning.” You smiled, plating the food and bringing it to him, taking a seat across from him.

You two sat awkwardly, Mark avoiding eye contact as he ate his food. You couldn’t wait any longer, couldn’t just sit around and wait till he brought up the topic.

You were so curious as to what you guys were now— and you weren’t going to technically ask him out, but you just wanted some clarity, just wanted to hear him say that you were more than friends, so you took a deep breath interrupting the silence: “Mark, I have a question.”

He looked at you, his eyes looking into yours as if he knew what was coming.

“What’s up?” He said, moving the food around on his plate with his fork.

“What- what are we?” You asked, titling your head, looking at him, but only being returned with broken eye contact.

He chewed his food silently, his body shifting in his chair. He looked back up at you, playing with his food once again, the fork scrapping on the plate somehow louder than the silence that surrounded the both of you.

“Well, we’re friends, aren’t we?” He swallowed, looking at you with a slight frown on his face.

“You don’t wanna be more than that though?” You asked, speaking softly as you innocently glanced at him.

He held his breath, looking everywhere except for your eyes as he answered agonizingly slow, and quietly: “No, not really.”

You felt your heart shatter as he still avoided eye contact, a million thoughts flooding your mind as you bit your lip.

“So why did you- why did we do that last night?” You asked.

“Well, I thought it was a friend thing, just us being tipsy.” He finally looked into your eyes, his answer only making your heart shrink smaller.

You held your composure well, but he noticed the subtlest shift in your eyelids along with the gloss that coated your eyes.

“Friends don’t fuck, or use each other when they’re horny and drunk ” You spat out, growing less patient of his answers by the second.

“Well, you kissed me first- I didn’t know what to do.” He shrugged, voice going a few octaves higher.

“The kiss where I apologized after I thought it wasn’t reciprocated? The kiss where you fucking pulled me back when I was trying to leave? That kiss Mark?” Anger spurred inside you as your voice grew more and more aggressive.

He grew quiet, silence filling the room once again as he looked at you with eyes full of pity— it drove you almost insane.

“Fuck this.” You said, storming to his room to grab any of your belongings.

“I didn’t wanna lose you Y/n.” He said, rushing after you.

“Oh so you decided to lead me on for what- fucking months? You thought that would’ve kept me here Mark? Flirting with me, watching me fall in love with you, then rejecting me and blaming it on me kissing you- AFTER I APOLOGIZED AND LITERALLY TRIED TO LEAVE? Not losing me was the last thing on your mind.” You picked up the remaining items, stuffing your bag rushingly.

“You- you fell in love with me?” He mumbled, standing in the doorway looking at you in sorrow.

“Yes Mark, I fell love you. I fell in love with your eyes, your smile, your fucking everything, and I thought you felt the same way about me, but obviously I’m nothing but a pity party to you.” You looked at him, tears finally spurring from your eyes as you started to break down from his silence.

“Fucking say something.” You said in a painful whisper.

“What do you want me to say? Do you want me to lie and say I love you? I can’t lie to you like that Y/n, you deserve better than that.” Your eyes winced in pain as you stared at him silently.

“Wait no Y/n, that’s not what I meant, I do love you, you’re my best friend I love you a lot, but-”

You interrupted him, grabbing your bag and walking to the door where he was standing, removing your necklace.

“Stop Y/n, I didn’t mean it like that.” He spoke in deep sympathy and guilt.

“You looked me directly in my eyes when you said that, you meant every word. I hope you’re happy.”

Your last words almost squeaked out as your throat tightened, tears streaming down your hot cheeks as you handed him back the necklace.

“Please Y/n, stay— so we can talk about it.” He spoke lightly, blocking the doorway.

You could hear he was being genuine, but you didn’t care at that point. 

“There’s nothing to talk about, move Mark.”

“Y/n-”

“move.” You spoke sternly, all he could do was move out of the way and watch as the person he cared for the most walk out his life.

The walk home has probably been the worst and most embarrassing one ever. Your vision blurry as tears violently streamed down your face, wailing as the scene played over and over in your head. You thought he was different, but you guess everyone was the same. You promised to yourself that night that you will never ever deal with that ever again, and no matter what you’re done with him.

February 21st, 9:47pm- please, I love you.

It had been a week since the incident, and to say that you were exhausted was an understatement.

You were more numb than anything right now, finding a new route to run so you didn’t have to run into the smoothie shop, avoiding places that you were most likely to run into each other at, trying to forget about the incident, forget about him— but oh no he didn’t let you.

He would send messages every day, every hour, and it drove you almost insane, but for some reason you couldn’t block him, and deleting his number out of impulse didn’t do anything. 

Good morning, I hope you’re doing ok, again I’m so sorry.

You bet he is…

Hey, can we please talk?

Nope.

Plz just respond and tell me you’re okay.

Did he really think you were? 

You can be mad at me, you can hate me, but please let me apologize in person

Ugh, for someone who wasn’t in love with you, he would not leave you alone. 

But you would just ignore it, leave him on delivered for hours, opening the message when you felt like it. Sometimes you would even act like you were responding to the message when you felt him watching your text bubble, just to mess with him— you deserved to fuck around with him after all.

One day you got another message.  

 I’m outside, please come out, I’ll wait for hours if I have to. 

Was he serious, this was starting to get obsessive. Why couldn’t he just take the hint. 

You did what you always did, left him on read, and went on about your business, but 30 minutes later you were curious about if he was actually still waiting.

After beating yourself up for caring so much you decided to check his location, and there he was, sitting in the same place. You sat there for a minute, contemplating if you should go out— for goodness sakes it was like 40 degrees outside so this was some serious commitment on his part, plus this could be a good way to get rid of him, right? 

Right…

You grabbed your coat and slipped on your boots, making your way outside to where he was sitting. He jolted up, eyes widening from the fact that you did come outside.

He stood up, trying to hand you a flower.

“I don’t want it.” You declined, shaking your head before sitting on the bench. He nodded his head understandingly.

“How are you?” He asked, sitting beside you on the bench.

“What do you have to say?” You replied curtly, looking forward to avoid his gaze on you. You knew if you looked at him in his sorry eyes you might’ve just folded right then.

“Well, I just want to say that I’m so sorry Y/n. I truly am. I never meant to hurt you and I’m so stupid for leading you on, and making you feel like you mean so little to me. I- I guess I was just scared to lose you, which I know is not an excuse and I’m very sorry. I love and care for you a lot ok. You deserve so much more than what I gave you, and I’m so sorry that I didn’t act that way. I should’ve told you that I didn’t want a relationship from the jump and I’m so sorry that I’m realizing that now when it’s too late. You’re my best friend and by your side is where I’m meant to be. You have the right to be selfish and I know that I don’t deserve someone as amazing as you, but please, please just give me one more chance. I care about you so much and I need you in my life. Please.”

You sat there, a tear rolling down your cold, numb cheeks.

You didn’t want to trust him again, and you’ve said this before and it went terribly wrong, but no one has ever done or said anything to you like this before.

“Mark, listen.” You gulped down the sadness that lingered in your throat and began to speak clearly.

“I love you more than anything, and I would be willing to forgive, but do you realize how embarrassing this is? To be rejected like that— to be told those words, those excuses, and take you back, even as a friend this quickly, this fast. Sorry, but I would have no self respect for that. So that being said, I have to think about this.”

You paused, turning to him.

“But you have to leave me alone, you have to let me figure this out myself. I feel grateful that you feel pity and that you feel enough remorse to be here right now on a cold winter night, but you have to give me space, do you understand me? I need space from you.” 

“I understand. I’ll give you space.” He said nodding, looking at you with a frown on his face.

“Anything else?” You asked, standing up as he shook his head no, grabbing your wrist before walking off.

“Thank you, for coming out and talking.”

You said nothing, only nodding in response, pulling his fingers off your wrist, walking back up to your apartment.

February 28th, 8:36 pm- forgiveness, could you imagine?

It had been about a week since you and Mark talked, and trust it was the most confusing week.

You didn’t know whether to be sad, happy, or relieved.

Didn’t know if you would forgive, or just forget and move on.

He respected your wishes, no more annoying text anymore, but that didn’t make you feel good— and honestly made you think about him more, worried about if he was ok or not.

You knew it was bad, and you knew he didn’t even deserve to be thought about right now, but you cared for him and you couldn’t deny that.

So… after sitting for hours, thinking, you decided to forgive. 

Hey, I wanted to reach out so I wouldn’t leave you hanging on the matter, even tho you deserve it lol. Anyways, I just wanted to say that I decided to forgive you and would like to continue on as friends. I will never forget this and will take every comment you make seriously and correct you if I think something is misleading. It might not go back to the way it was right away, so don’t force it. And I guess that being said, I’ll see you tomorrow morning during my run.

Thank you so much Y/n, I really appreciate it, and I’ll try my best to be the best friend to you ever. I’ll try not to cross any boundaries and take your feelings deeply into consideration. I’ll see you tomorrow :)

So, I guess you broke your promise. You honestly just wanted your friend back, and even though you’re heartbroken, you still love him. This is your problem actually, too nice for this world, always forgiving, but you would work on that later, but right now you had to deal and learn from it. You know it sounds stupid, but even though he’s the one that broke your heart, he’s also the one who gave you a shoulder to lie on while you cry to him about it, so you’ll be okay. The things you would do for love. 

May 16th, 9:00 am - for me.

I had been 3 months since the whole incident happened between you and Mark. After a while you got tired of correcting his comments, and got the hint that was just being nice, so you let it go, along with your feelings for him. Basically, everything was back to normal, but he was way more— how do you say? Kinder, which seemed impossible given the fact of how your friendship has always been, but now it was very noticeable. You just chopped it up to him wanting to proof himself to you, and redeem himself from… past situations.

Unfortunately you had to break some bad news to him though.

Hey, can we meet at the park?

Yea sure, is everything ok?

You didn’t respond. 

You two were sitting on the bench that shared so much history, talking and getting off track per usual, but you finally had to spill the news. 

“Mark, I’m-” You took a deep breath, turning to your body towards him. 

“Mark I’m moving back home.” You said, Marks eyes glistening a mournful sparkle as he heard the words come out your mouth.

“W-why?” He asked, voice cracked a little as he stared at you. 

“Well, my mom is dead ok. And I- I feel like I’ve messed everything up and I need to go back to find myself, like find myself fully and heal instead of running away from my problems.” Your voice was confident, yet stuttered as you spoke. 

“When did your mom die, why didn’t you tell me?” He asked, voice curious and worried. 

“Shit I didn’t even know she died until a week ago. I feel like even though we didn’t have a good relationship, I could’ve at least been there you know, not just for my mom, but for my whole family.” 

“I understand, and I’m so proud of you for trying to heal and be the bigger person, even though your family wasn’t the bigger person for you. When do you leave?” He asked.

You took another deep breath, biting your lip. “Next week.” 

“That soon!?” He said, his voice clamorous. 

“That soon… but let’s make this last week fun, and memorable and not mourn about it, ok?” 

“Ok.” He nodded. 

You both just sat in silence as you let the date sink in.

You claimed that you wanted to heal, and that you couldn’t stop running away from your problems, but here you were— running away from your biggest one. You thought that you wanted to keep in contact when you left, but in all honesty, you weren’t so sure. But you guess time would tell.

May 20th, 2:00 pm - this is goodbye

So here it is, your last hangout, the last time you would probably see him for a while, and it was memorable— you guess?

You two decided to go to an amusement park, and then the aquarium. You were having a great time, but you kept noticing his stares, exchanging glances every once in a while, it was very weird. 

“What?” You kept asking, his eyes widening in, obviously forceful confusion and innocence.

“Nothing, nothing. Nothing at all man.” He would respond each time, shrugging his shoulders. 

You were in the aquarium, holding the stuff animal that he bought you tightly in your arms. 

“Y/n, I have to tell you something.”  He spoke, clearing his throat. 

“What’s up?” You turned to him, a wide smile on your face as you looked him in the eyes. 

“I um-” he paused, gulping and biting his lip nervously as you stared at him with curious eyes.  

“I just wanted to say that I’m gonna miss you and I hope we stay close.” He smiled, sticking his thumb up awkwardly.

“Aww me too Mark.” You smiled in return, pulling him into a hug.

Finally you were back to your apartment after a long, but fun day with him. He wanted you to come over so he could prepare some dinner for you, but you knew that you were going to be exhausted tomorrow from the move so you respectfully declined, letting him know that you needed rest. 

“Well, I guess this is goodbye then huh?” You said, a bittersweet smile on your face as you looked at his gleaming eyes.

“I guess it is. You’ll visit right?” He questioned.

“Of course I will, and you can come visit me whenever you want too. There’s a lake nearby that I think you’d love.” You smiled.  

“Ok, I’ll definitely visit for sure.” He nodded. A comforting silence surrounding the two of you as you just stared at each other.

“Well, I have to get going.” You said, breaking the silence, a grin on your face. 

“Ok. I’ll see you later… bye y/n!” 

“Bye Mark!” You smiled, turning away to walk to your apartment, looking behind you once more, a smile on his face as he waved.

You never thought that your story would end this soon. Even, though— or, if you, remained friends, you knew it would never be the same no matter how much you visit or text each other, but that’s okay, you were fine with it… right?

May 21st, 8:36 pm - I’m home.

Hey, just checking to see if you got there smoothly?

Yep, all moved in lol

Great I’m glad, I’ll definitely be coming soon;) but anyways, I’ll let you get some rest. Talk to you later

Talk to you later :)

May 21st, 12:23 am - hate me forever.

❥ 1 new voice message from - mark

I know you might hate me forever after this, but I was thinking about it and it’s best if I just told you. You’ve been nothing but kind to me and it seems like all I do is fuck your life over, but Ive gotten it all wrong anyways, so I might as well confess now. Fuck Y/n, I think- I think I’m in love with you. You’re going to be so pissed off with me and I was about to tell you yesterday before you left, but you looked so happy and I didn’t wanna ruin it with my own personal feelings like I always do. I thought I didn’t want to be with you, I thought I never would want to be with anyone ever, but you made me realize that I do and I feel like there was a reason that I kissed you, tipsy or not. Well I did more than just kiss you, but nevermind that. Sorry. I don’t know why I said that sorry. Anyways sorry, I um dude I’m actually like, this is like frustrating, but I hope that we can still be close even though we don’t live near each other anymore. And yeah, I thought to tell you this so you could reject me and get your revenge you know? Sorry I don’t know why I said that either- sorry for saying that- whyd I- anyways, man I just- ok turn this off actually, but I- I love you Y/n and I hope we stay close, wait dude didn’t I just say that? I don’t know anymore man ok bye- love you- bye.

Don’t listen to that I was drunk :/

Getting drunk the day I leave, miss me already? ;)

Ha you’re funny. Don’t listen tho seriously

Ok fine I won’t .-.

What the fuck.

You obviously listened to it, the first thing you heard in the morning and all you could do was sit in your bed shocked.

You never thought this day would ever come, nor prepared yourself for it.

There was nothing you could do, he fumbled, and you had lost feelings. That was his fault sorry not sorry, but as the week went on you could only think about that message.

It ran through your mind over and over again, and the more you thought about, the more you wanted him.

No matter how much you tried to force your feelings away and tell yourself that you didn’t have them anymore, you can never deny love you feel for someone else, never. 

You loved Mark, and you needed to talk to him.

May 30th, 8:00 pm - we can't be friends.

It had been about a week after the voice message, and you tried to ignore everything. Tried to ignore your feelings, your families nagging and constant toxicity, and tried to ignore him running through your mind. You both haven’t talked since then, I guess he was too guilty to even try and you just let it go.

“Y/n, there’s someone here for you.” You heard screaming from downstairs. 

Your brows furrowed in curiosity as you made your way downstairs. 

You went to the front door, opening it to see Mark standing there. Your eyes widening as he stood at the door with a cheeky smile. 

“Mark what are you doing here!?” You asked, slipping on your sandals and walking outside, shutting the door behind you.

“I told you I would come soon.” He smiled. 

“How did you even find my address?” Your forehead crinkled as you looked at him with questioning eyes. 

“We share locations.” He answered quickly, swirls of passion in his eyes. 

“Mark, that’s like- kinda weird.” You answered, a chuckle escaping your lips as he scratched the back of his head.

“Man, I just be checking sometimes, just to make sure you’re ok. Now can you show me this lake that you talked about, it’s all that’s been running through my mind.” 

“Yes mark I can show you the lake.” You said, grabbing a blanket and your phone. 

You two sat at the lake, watching the sunset, talking like you haven’t seen each other for months.

As you two talked, him confessing kept crossing your mind, really it was all that you could think of actually.

You didn’t know if you should just leave it alone like he did, tell him that you knew and that it was ok, or just tell him you like him first to see if he says anything.

You honestly didn’t know how it would affect the relationship between the two of you, but you just wanted to say something at least, and you weren’t upset like he thought. 

“Mark.” You begun, swallowing the anxiety that crawled up your chest into your throat. 

He didn’t even respond, just looked at you blankly, his eyes hinting a bit of worry. 

“I listened to the voice message.” You mumbled. 

His face dropped, ears turning red as he opened his mouth to say something, lip quivering as the words got stuck.

You could feel his heart race even though you weren’t even touching him. He paused for a second, then his voice sounded in fast and high pitch words. 

“Y/n, I’m seriously like so sorry. I know that had to be confusing and I honestly wish that I deleted it before you listened dude, swear. You did not deserve to be tangled up in my feelings-” 

“Don’t worry, it’s mutual.” You interrupted. 

“And I just- wait what?” He paused, looking at you with confusion in his eyes, but a bit a relief in his voice.

“It’s mutual.” You nodded, just as surprised of your words as Mark at that point. 

“But I thought you stopped liking me?” His said, his voice sounding flabbergasted. Eyes twinkling as he looked into yours. 

“I did, but I never stopped loving you, and I guess that counts right?” You said, a small grin on your face as his face lit up. 

“So- so would you be with me? Would you be my girlfriend Y/n?” He asked, turning to you, voice high pitched and excited as his eyes went brighter and wide. 

“I would… if you promise to never leave me alone, if you promise to always be there with and for me?” You answered, eyes sparkling as a smile crept on your face from just looking at him. 

“I promise Y/n. I’m not letting you go again. I want us to be together forever if it’s possible.” He spoke, scooting closer to you and grabbing your hands, holding them tightly. 

“Ok, well then- I would love to be your girlfriend Mark.” Your cheeks hurt as you smiled strongly, your words full of warmth. 

“But wait, there’s something we’re forgetting.” He paused, you humming in response as he grabbed something from his coat pocket. 

He held up the shimmering diamond necklace, your eyes sparking as you looked at it with a smile. 

“Do you just carry that around with you? That’s weird.” You asked, giggling to yourself. 

“Call me what you want bro, but it’s yours.” 

He smiled, signaling you to turn around so he could put it on you. 

“Wow this is so excited I could just kiss you.” He squealed as you turned around.

You raised your eyebrows, a smirk painting your face as you starred at him. He blinked quickly, a smirk appearing on his face shortly after yours. 

“Can I kiss you?” He asked, cheekbones defined from blushing. 

“Yes. You can kiss me.” You responded, nodding as your cheeks grew warm as the smile on your face began to hurt from how big it was. 

He smiled, grabbing your face and pulling it to his, looking at your eyes before leaning in.  The taste was familiar, yet so much sweeter. You wrapped your hands around his neck, pulling him even closer to you, lips not leaving each others. 

Now this is what you could call magical— no regrets, no alcohol, just love. 

July 7th, 9:38 am. - my darling.

“Happy one year- meetiversary?” He spoke. 

You giggled, meeting him at the counter, giving him a kiss on the cheek as he handed you a mango smoothie.

“Whatever happened to the watermelon ones?” You asked. 

You were relieved for sure, but still curious because after your birthday he stopped giving them to you. 

“I thought you didn’t like them?” He asked, his eyebrow raised as he titled his head. 

“Did I tell you that?” You paused, looking at him with confused eyes. 

“No, but I could tell from like the first day I gave you one.” 

“So if you could tell I didn’t like it, why’d you keep making them for me?” You questioned, head titling. 

“Oh I just wanted to mess with you, see how long it would take for you to crack, but you didn’t, surprisingly.” He said, a smirk appearing on his face.

“So why Mangos now?” You raised your eyebrow questionably. 

“It’s your favorite fruit.” 

“How do you know that?” 

“Y/n It was in your 4 hour cooking course. You mentioned how it was your favorite fruit.” He answered, you nodding in response understandably before tilting your head once again. 

“But you bought the one with my favorite meal, the 2 hour one?” You said, causing his lips to curl into a smile.

“Oops.” 

You hit him playfully, scolding him about not buying your classes anymore and that you were right there to teach him, but he never listened regardless so you stopped wasting your breath. 

You two were long distance for a tad bit, but he finally convinced you to come back so you could be closer again, and trust you took it deeply into consideration after you kept getting in fights with your family when you moved back home. So you’re back.

Sometimes you just sit and think about what if you never moved in the first place. How would your life be? Nevermind that, you just felt grateful to have him and he felt the same about you. It’s been a year since you and Mark have met, and to say that it’s been an emotional rollercoaster was an understatement. Your connection was for sure a journey, and every step of the way, no matter if it was sad or happy, it brought the two of you where you meant to be— together. 

September 15th, 5:39 pm (5 years later) - I’ll never let you go.

Sorry to bother you on your run, but do you think you can pick her up some diapers otw home?

Delivered at 8:30 am

Y/n omg she’s crying so hard, she misses her mom, come back soon :(

Delivered at 9:30 am

Sorry, I’ll leave you alone, but I’m telling the truth about her crying.

Delivered at 9:31 am

Y/n, it’s been an hour, where are you? Why is your location off?

Delivered at 10:42 am

Y/n where are you? I’m becoming very upset, text back. 

Delivered at 12:38 pm

baby, are you okay? Why aren’t you picking up my calls?

Delivered at 2:09 pm

Did I do something to upset you? I’m sorry if I did, plz come home so we could talk about it. 

Delivered at 5:00 pm

About 30 minutes, I got a call that sent a shiver down my spine.

“Hello is this the husband of Y/n L/n?”

You always told me that you would list me first for your emergency contacts, but I didn’t think anything of it. 

“I’m sorry to inform you, but she was involved in a very bad hit and run car accident. Please come down here as soon as possible so we can discuss the matter with you.” 

My heart trembled at the call, I couldn’t even stand straight.

Your long time friend, your roommate met me at the hospital, taking our baby girl out of my hands before I went into the hospital room, hands shaking every step of the way to you.

When I saw you, my heart sunk, it had to have been a nightmare, no way this was real.

I couldn’t even make it fully in the room before turning and walking out the door. Screaming, tears streaming down my face as I tried to find who did this to you. Thank god our baby was there, gave me a reason to not find him and kill him myself.

The doctors helped me calm down and I finally walked in fully, trying to hold my composure as I got closer to you.

They had you hooked up to all this complicated equipment, but all I could see was you.

I took a seat by your side, tears falling from my eyes as the doctors gave me a minute to spend with you quietly. 

“She’s brain dead. The impact of the car sent her into cardiac arrest and the impact from the fall added severe damages to her brain”

I heard that from beside me, a sorrowed voice that just sunk into my brain, carving the words harshly into my heart.

My eyes shut as I wrapped my hand around yours.

You were cold, and that only made my heart shatter more.

“Is there anyway she’ll wake up? Anything?”

I tried to speak, but my voice cracked and squeaked as I saw the doctor’s forcefully cold expression, sympathy in his eyes as he shook his head. 

“I’m sorry, but there’s really nothing we can do but pull the plug, but that’s a decision for you Mr. Lee.” 

Tears were in my eyes, my face focused as I stared at you. I was in my right mind— I think, but I couldn’t help my emotions that began to flow out. 

“Can- can she feel anything?”

I asked, my voice cracked as I looked at your face.

No matter how cut up it was you still looked so beautiful. 

“No.” The doctor spoke. 

“So then, I guess that’s the only thing to do right?”

I mumbled, small hiccups escaping my throat as the doctor nodded in agreement, leaving me in the room with you alone for a few more minutes. 

I felt numb when I heard that long agonizing beep, couldn’t feel anything but tickling tears rolling down my cheek as I looked at your face.

I could hear faint sounds of your roommate crying, along with our babies cries ringing in my ear, but I couldn’t do anything— I couldn’t move, I couldn’t talk, I was shattered. 

I love you y/n. I will love you forever, and the day that I die, I’ll look for you, and only you.

May 30th, 6:46 pm (4 years later) - interminable

Happy anniversary y/n

it’s been 9 years since I asked to be your boyfriend haha time flies so fast doesn’t it?

Oh, our precious baby girl is 5 years old now, whatttt.

She loves you so much, always ask for stories about her mom, wants to be a chef just like you. 

It’s funny because guess what? she hates watermelon smoothies too. She tried to lie, but I saw it in her face. Reminds you of someone huh? 

Yk I still remember laughing to myself every time I gave you those smoothies, you tried so hard to act like it was good, but I could tell.

I still listen to your voice messages, the ones you always told me that your laugh sounded ugly, remember? Well I think it sounds beautiful, your laugh never fails to crack me up. 

Oh and guess what? I have a surprise. Are you ready? you’re gonna be so happy.

I met Gordon Ramsey! Are you jealous lol? Don’t worry I bragged to him about you, he said you sounded lovely. It always amazes me how talented you are.

I know you’re smiling so hard aren’t you? You wouldn’t leave me for Gordon Ramsey right?

Wait also before you get mad at me, of course I still have the cookbook

And yes I still cook every recipe out of that book, even the one with the sauce that always made me fart, god you hated that one. 

I still think about you everyday 

And I still miss you so much

Like really really miss you. 

Y/n, I really really really fucking miss you 

And I still love you, I will never stop loving you. 

Happy anniversary.

I love you too Mark, happy anniversary.

So, yes you’re not here anymore, but he made a promise to you, and he kept it. You will always love him, and be there for him and watch over him and your child. You don't always need a body to live on, all you need is a heart, and as long as he's living, your heart resides with his. 

©mafiadad5

[poppy-metal]

friends to lovers with patrick…oh my i have thoughts

you guys both come from rich families, grew up with each other all that good stuff and you are quite literally the only people in your wealthy little bubble who really get each other. highlight of the year is when he comes back from the academy for summer break and holidays. all the time he has he spends with you…of course by the time you’re both teenagers he leaves you every once in a while when a pretty girl he can get with comes along. you’ve known you liked him since you were 10 (this all consuming love that knows you’ll always gravitate towards him) this goes on throughout your teens

He realizes he has feelings for you around the time you’re 17, stupidly when he finally sees you start going out with other people. takes him about a week to fully understand why seeing you with a boyfriend pisses him off…of course when he tells you this, things don’t go as planned (referring to your last post on friends to lovers…like of course youre nervous about this. you love him but if he cheats? god you lose him as a boyfriend and a friend). so you fool around a bit, and while he insists on something more serious, you’re too scared to take the jump

this hurts him of course. hurts him enough that when he leaves that summer in 2006 to go pro, he doesn’t want to keep in contact anymore. yeah it hurts to not respond to your calls or emails, but you broke his heart first? how can he just continue like something is normal. You try to keep track of his life, checking scores, even reaching out to that strawberry blonde boy he brought to your house in the summer before (who doesn’t tell you anything either)

life is so much more boring without your best friend. you try meeting new people all throughout college, spread your wings, but its all so boring. no one is as fun or exciting or loving as patrick. eventually you just give up on the idea he is going to come back to your life, its been four years at this point.

you graduate college and go back to your rich little family. realize he isn’t even in contact with his family, god you really have no connection to this man anymore, the only person you actually love is no longer in contact with you. and quite frankly you’re lonely. so after couple post-grad years of wallowing in your sadness, when your parents start pushing you to get married…it only takes couple weeks for you to agree

everything happens so quickly, meeting the rich prick your parents have picked out, the engagement, god now your wedding is in couple of weeks

are you excited? of course not, you don’t feel anything for this man, but hey there are worse outcomes than becoming a wife to a rich business man. you’re 24 you have the rest of your life to live, at least you can do it knowing you have as much money as possible

so yeah you’re content with the life that you’ve chosen….well that is until patrick mf zweig shows up at your door step after years going “you’re getting married?”

oh well…there goes being content with your husband

-🫀

CHEATING IMMEDIATELY

god, its like. why had he even showed up. you'd been the one to break his heart, you'd grappled with that, stewed with regret over it for years, still did, but he'd been the one to cut you off. to block you on all accounts. so to show up now..... like he'd never left, you're shell shocked. hand over your heart, your engagement ring glinting right there.

its like a full laurie moment. "dont marry him." and you're falling back a step like what, what, you cant say that to me.

but he means it. he'd cut you off but he'd never moved on. and hearing the news of your engagement felt like a wakeup call - like someone threw a bucket of ice water over his head. because he fucking knows you. knows you'd never marry a guy like that - not the girl he knew. and you might have broken his heart, but maybe he should have fought for you harder. maybe he shouldn't have stone walled you. maybe he should have seen you were scared and done everything in his power to prove you were meant to be with him.

its a late start, but he's never been one to quit. he wont give you up again.

[zephyrchama]

Hey! Uhhh, my birthday is in two days and most my friends don’t want to celebrate with me. So could I get some comfort for an MC who is sad their human world friends don’t wanna celebrate but has the brothers by their side? I’ve been reading your fics and headcanons the whole night yesterday and they’re really good!

(Thank you!! Hope I made it in time, and I hope it's okay if I changed things up a bit to be an MC who wasn't expecting any sort of celebration. Please have a lovely day! Happy Birthday!) (Anyone who reads this, please be sure to wish seerachii a happy birthday!)

Your alarm was beeping. Just like every other day, you raised an arm and fumbled around in the sheets until your hand made contact with the alarm, turned off the noise, and sighed into the pillow. Waking up in a realm where the day-night cycle doesn’t exist was tough. Your body had a hard time keeping track of its natural rhythm.

It was a normal day. You had homework to do and errands to run. You decided ten more minutes in bed couldn’t hurt, as a treat, and felt around one more for your D.D.D.

New messages from all of the stores you frequented appeared in your inbox overnight. Fifty percent off today only! Buy 5000 grim worth of product and get a free present! Stop by in person and show this message to get a free sample! That last one vaguely intrigued you. Maybe you would stop by after the errands were complete. The kitchen was running low on trash bags, you needed a new notebook after spilling some caustic potion on your old one during class, and Satan asked you to pick up a pack of dental floss when the opportunity arose.

You slowly dragged yourself out of bed and over to the wardrobe. You wondered if it would be weird to dress a little fancier than normal, or if anyone would even notice.

Now that you were closer to the door, an odd sound caught your attention. Some kind of scuffling and movement on the other side of your bedroom door. Muffled voices. Your heart froze. Were you supposed to be on breakfast duty? Some of your housemates liked to be up early, and some of them got real cranky when their breakfast wasn’t prepared on time.

You hurried to put on whatever outfit was front and center before opening your door, expecting to see one or two grumpy demons waiting for their food. You were met with everybody, dressed in suits, in the midst of another sibling squabble. Things seemed tense and as soon as you opened the door, all of their attention turned towards you.

“You’re awake?” Beelzebub asked. “Good morning.”

This was a rare sight. Maybe your alarm clock was set to the wrong time and you woke up far later than usual. You rubbed an eye and opened your mouth to apologize for oversleeping but got cut off.

“Hold it! What in the three realms are you wearin’? You wore that same thing last week,” Mammon exclaimed, holding an arm out in front of the others as though holding them back.

Asmodeus shoved a decorative box overflowing with tissue paper into your hands. “Put this on! Go, go!” He nudged your back into your room, and they shut the door behind you.

What?

The muffled squabbling started back up. You heard Belphegor in particular complain, "I didn't get to say good morning."

"We'll do it properly the next time," Lucifer said, right before your attention was directed elsewhere.

Inside the box was a a stunning outfit. Far fancier than anything you thought of wearing that morning and custom-tailored exactly to your size. You admired it in the mirror, conflicted. This definitely seemed like a gift, but was it really? The material felt expensive. You didn't want to get your hopes up. It could be a coincidence, some new idea that Diavolo cooked up or an event you forgot to write on the calendar. But even if that were true, what a nice coincidence it was.

A hush fell over the brothers as you gripped the door handle. This was definitely weird. You swung the door open again and asked, "What's going on?"

"Happy Birthday!" a chorus of voices rang out. Some of them followed it up with "good morning!" Someone temporarily blinded you with a confetti popper.

"Sorry we forgot to say it before," Leviathan said, clapping.

Satan and Lucifer came forward to pick confetti and glitter out of your hair, congratulating you while Asmodeus fussed over your new outfit. "As I thought, it suits you! Hehe."

A mix of emotions welled up. Mostly shock. "You remembered? Or rather... you guys knew? I don't think I told you..."

"'course we knew!" Mammon boasted.

"Who do you take us for?" Belphegor took one of your hands while Beelzebub grabbed the other. They went ahead and intertwined their fingers with yours before anyone else could object.

"We have a lot planned for today, but first, was there anything on your schedule?" Satan asked. "I hope you didn't make too many plans."

"Yeah," you said truthfully, "if there's time I was going to pick up that floss and maybe some new stationary."

Asmodeus laughed and slid an arm around your shoulder. "Oh, you're so funny!"

"You can do that another day," Lucifer chuckled. "We have better things in store for you."

"I especially can't wait for dinner." "Beel, that's a surprise," Leviathan chided, poking the glutton in his side. "Oh, right. You didn't hear that."

They had a whole day of activities planned, just for you? You teared up a little. It was impossible to cover up with your hands being held, so you looked at the floor to try and collect yourself. Just for a moment.

Of course they noticed. Leviathan was alarmed and rushed to ask, "What's wrong?"

Lucifer's confidence wavered ever so slightly, a rare happenstance. He stepped forward with a worried expression and a handkerchief if you needed it.

"Mammon, what did you do?" Belphegor eyed his brother suspiciously.

"Why me? Nothin'!" he stammered, kneeling to get a better look at your face. "What's wrong, huh?"

These guys belonged to a big family. They might fight, but they always had each others backs and supported one another when the time came. You belonged to their big family. They might be overwhelming and needy, but they always had your back and supported you when the time came. You were an inseparable part of them. It was an inscrutable realization.

What was there to say? Thank you? That sounded far too simple to express the complex emotion pooling in your gut. You squeezed the hands that had reached out to you first. They squeezed back. Maybe it was okay to be a little selfish on your birthday in the Devildom.

A wavering smile spread across your face. "I can't wait. What are we going to do?"

[vashs-turtleneck]

Three Empty Words.

✧ More than friends, less than lovers.

Rating: EXPLICIT (18+ ONLY)

Summary: You love Vash. Does he love you back? It's complicated. Pairing: Vash the Stampede x reader Wc: 1.8k Cw: angst, smut, situationship, penetrative sex, pwp, crying, rough sex. An: trying to get myself back into writing after being gone for a little bit so sorry if this is a little bit messy! Also I don't usually do song recs buuuuut Song Recommendation: Sugar - Sleep Token

Vash is emotional.

He'd probably never outright admit that to you, and he seems awfully intent on keeping you at an arm's length no matter what you do, but you've been around him long enough to notice those rare and faint cracks in that perfect facade. As much as he tries to hide it, you can see it. His eyes are sad and his smile is hollow. He desperately seeks for love in a world where it feels impossible to find, and yet denies himself of it when it's right there, walking alongside him.

But there are some nights, after particularly strenuous travels and when too much venom has been spat his way where that handsome facade finally cracks. 

He's vulnerable, and he reaches for you, baring to you his fleeting moments of weakness. Deep down, you know what he's really searching for. Forgiveness, acceptance, love. But now, he seeks you for comfort in any way you're willing to give it to him and as much as you are willing to give him. He wants mercy. At least for the evening.

His will is strong enough that he'll never allow himself to have you, but just weak enough that he can't truly resist you. He yearns for you.

And you're not quite sure how it all started, or how you both got to this point - how you let things get so messy - but damn it you'd be lying if you said you didn't want this in any form. As long as you can have him. Even if it's just physically. Even if it's just for a night.

Sometimes it's loving, with worshipful hands – one smooth and cold, one warm and calloused – tracing your lines with a reverence you have to tell yourself isn't real. With wet lips pressing featherlight kisses along the curves of your neck and down the divot of your collarbone, his mouth wandering a slow, meandering path along your body and meticulously etching out every spot that makes your breath hitch like he's trying to commit it to memory.

It's tender, with languid strokes that have one orgasm flowing into the next, until you're left a pliable, boneless mess beneath him, whimpering his name over and over and your body begging for him to do whatever he wants to you. Luckily for you, you're in good hands. He's here to take care of you, even if it's for his own selfish reasons.

Your name falls off his lips like a plea for forgiveness, kisses oh so tender, drinking your moans like they're the sweetest ambrosia. He roves over your body with intimate familiarity and pulls you apart piece by piece with his fingers, his mouth, his cock, cataloging every inch of your skin before he puts you back together so he can do it all over again, all while whispering a litany of praises and sweet nothings.

“You're so beautiful when you're like this. Always so perfect, mayfly.”

“You're doing so well, feel so good around me.”

“Am I hurting you? Don’t wanna hurt you, sweetheart. Just wanna make you feel good.”

“Let me just move your legs like– Yeah, like that. That feels good, right? Just like that. Now I can fuck you deeper.”

“You like me filling you with my cock like this, mayfly? You take me so well. So perfectly.”

“You're so pretty like this. All flushed and delicate.”

“Not so fast, angel. Wanna make this last. Wanna savour you.”

“So beautiful when you come. I could watch you for hours.”

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

Sweet, beautiful, angelic, the words dripping from his lips like syrup. You hold on to them while you can, because you know they'll be gone come morning.

You wish he'd let you in. You wish he'd truly open up to you and not only seek you out when he's desperate. Fuck, you love him. You see him at his most vulnerable moments, you hold him close when he lets you, and you let him take pleasure in your body as he needs because you love him, all sides of him.

But, Vash is also angry, and that's a side of him he keeps hidden even in his most delicate moments. 

Sometimes, those feelings he keeps buried deep bubble up. When he's completely run out of those briefly lucky moments and he's forced to face the darkest, sickest sides of what humanity has to offer and he's made to question what it's all even for.

Sometimes it's almost selfish, possessive, with him wordlessly cornering you and his large frame caging you in against the nearest surface, strategically leaning his arm up on the wall next to your head so that you have nowhere else to run off to, nothing else to look at, only him - wholly commanding your attention with sapphire eyes begging for something he knows you can give him. He needs a reminder, and you're far too swooped up in the typhoon to deny him. 

It's impatient, with his flesh and bone hand holding your hip in a bruising grip while cool metal keeps your face forcefully pressed down into the dusty sheets. You wouldn't be able to cry out for him to stop even if you wanted to as he steals your breath away every time his scarred hips slam against the softness of your ass, your desperation making itself obvious to him in the form of the slickness pouring from between your thighs. He has your mind swirling under his ruthless onslaught of pleasure as he takes full advantage of each and every one of your lewdest weaknesses. He knows exactly where to touch, where to taste, where to tease, where to bite, red marks littering your pretty neck that'll bloom into faint purples and blues come morning. The dingy walls echo with the wet sounds of flesh connecting as he starts greedily chasing his own pleasure with every rolling buck of his stuttering hips, your name spilling from his lips like a curse, fucking you like it's another sin for him to bare.

“Take it. Take all of it, mayfly. I know you can.”

“Spread your legs wider. Wider.”

“Look at you. Such a mess.”

“Gonna fuck you dumb, make sure you don't know which way is up or down when I'm done with you. Until the only thing you know is me.”

“Say my name.”

“Say it louder.”

“Touch yourself. Wanna watch you cream on my cock.”

“That's it. Fuck– That's it.”

“So fucking pretty when you fall apart.”

“Come for me. Come for me now.”

“Such a good little thing for me. Nobody else gets to touch you like this, make you moan like this, fill you up like this.”

“Tell me it's all for me. Tell me it's all mine.”

“Look at me.”

“Let me see you break.”

And when his breaths calm and his pleasure filled haze fades, when that fleeting moment of rapture dissipates, the guilt comes flooding back, leaving him faced with where he is, what he's done, and worst of all, who he's done it all with.

No matter how it goes, it always ends the same way, with him whispering his broken apologies as streams of tears pour from those ethereal pools of azure.

“I'm sorry.” 

“I'm so sorry, mayfly.” 

“I'm so sorry.”

It doesn't matter how many times you try to comfort him, how many times you tell him that you want this, or that you want him. Your sweet and gentle words do nothing to ease the ache he feels in his chest. If anything, you're making it worse. 

“I don't deserve this. Any of this.”

“Especially not you.”

“Never you.”

He always stays close to you for the night. He sobs and lets his tears fall on the skin where your neck meets your shoulder, brokenly weeping his regrets, begging you for forgiveness. He cries until the exhaustion seeps into his bones and pulls him into a deep sleep, his tears still staining his cheeks and his limbs still tangled with yours.

You wrap your arms around him and keep him pressed to you, savouring the soothing heat of his body on your skin, the feeling of his breath on your neck, the peaceful tempo of his inhales and exhales. Your thumbs brush away any remaining tears, your fingers ghosting over his sun-kissed skin, dancing over the curve of his jaw, the highs of his cheekbones, over that cute little mole, down along the bridge of his nose until you're tracing over those slightly parted lips. You keep him close while you still have him, holding on to these fleeting moments of intimacy you get to indulge in. Like always, it'll be gone come morning.

It never goes into the morning. 

No, when the morning light spills through the curtains and when the suns rise, you both pretend none of it ever happened. He rolls off of you and walks off towards the shower without a word. His tear-stained eyes are still puffy and red, but they don't even look at you. He keeps quiet, and when you're both cleansed of any evidence of your passionate evening together, he gives you that lovely, empty smile that you've grown to recognize. 

It hurts every fucking time you see it.

You wander through empty dessert together, making small talk, just like friends do. Never do you discuss what's happened, what you two are, what you feel.

Once again, you're kept at an arm's length.

Until the next night, or maybe it'll be the night after, when he's suddenly hugging you from behind with his breath on the column of your throat, whining and apologizing as he begs for you.

“I'm sorry. I know I don't deserve it, don't deserve you, but just… please. You're the only one I can trust with this.”

“Please, mayfly. I need you. I'm sorry.”

Sometimes, he waits until the marks he left on you have faded. Maybe it's so he can mark you up again, pretend like any and every part of you belongs to him and give in to that satisfaction he gets from knowing he's the one who does this to you, that he's the one who leaves you writhing and moaning and begging on soiled sheets for any ounce of his touch.

Or maybe it's so he can admire every inch of your divine, unclaimed flesh, and he can pretend he was never selfish enough to try to mark you to begin with. He can pretend that he was never so foolish as to believe he could touch the holy body that is you with his blightful and wicked hands.

And he can pretend that those three beautiful words never fell from his perfect lips.

divider source.

[penwieldingdreamer]

Love Confessions and other truths

Whoa, this one got out of hand I guess.

Thank you everyone for the likes, comments and reblogs. This fandom has given me so much joy and inspiration and he's definitely hard to resist not to write for.

As you know, I tried to keep the appearance and description of the reader as vauge as possible, you guys will be able to come up with your own picture for the reader, only thing I pictured: female reader, living in London with her british mother and american father, single mother of two girls Lottie (5) and Millie (3), and two years older than Austin.

Summary: Austin confesses his feelings for you, but you keep the truths about your feelings under wraps, until friends come up with good intentions and meddle in your relationship.

Words: 5.6k

Warnings: fluff, some swear words, maybe a few tippos - if so, please let me know

Happy reading and enjoy. And please let me know what you think, if you want to be tagged or taken off the taglist for this.

Dividers @cafekitsune

Tagging: @sqrlgrl22 @buckysteveloki-me @rlinda6 @imusicaddict @fortheloveoffanfic @unicoreads

Dec. 2022

With a groan you pulled yourself up on the couch, your leg propped up on a mass of pillows. 

“You doing okay, baby?” 

Were you okay? You didn't really know. A few days ago you injured yourself walking home from the store down the road from your flat. Winter had taken hold of the city and the streets were very slippery. Of course you thought your running shoes were enough to last that short walk. 

Well, your bandaged knee and ankle spoke for themselves. The ice patch had you out of commission for the time being, thankfully you only twisted your ankle and partially tore your ACL. It was dumb and unnecessary, but a few weeks and you'd be good as new. 

“Hurts like hell, but it's better than yesterday.”

Your mother leaned over and laid a kiss on your hair. She had been helping you with the girls, keeping them occupied and stopped them from running up the wall. “It's only a few more days. Doctor Burnes said you'll be able to walk better by next week, just keep it elevated for now and take your pain meds.”

“Hm, yeah, by next year I'll be a normally functioning human again.” It was a joke but also a semblance of truth. 

Only a few more days and you'd ring in 2023. Hopefully a better one than the last. With Trevor finally paying on time, Lottie still having fun at school and Millie enjoying her time at Kindergarten.

“How's Austin? I haven't heard from him in a while.” She asked, busying herself in the kitchen.

Last you heard he had told you that he was busy with pre awards parties and dinners and planned to go on a trip with Kaia during the holidays. “Don't know, you probably should ask the girls, they've been keeping tabs on him. I just provide the source to let them talk with him.”

Chuckling, your mother shook her head. “They really love him, huh? He's great with the girls.”

“They do. If he's not calling every third day, Lottie takes my phone and calls him herself.”

Your mother had listened to the excited squeals of your daughters when they had their evening calls with the actor. Once she had asked you about your feelings towards him, treading dangerously but you shut her down really quick. He was in a relationship, younger than you and you definitely didn't want to jump into another relationship, even if your last had been years ago.

Was this really what you wanted? 

Every time you talked to Austin, you felt your insides flutter like millions of butterflies. 

No, he's happy with Kaia, with his career. He doesn't need you to distract from all this.

“Mummy, mummy, mummy! Look it's Austin!” Lottie ran towards you, jumping onto the couch and hitting a painful spot on your knee. Her eyes widened as she heard your gasp and shrank back from you. “Careful baby, your mum isn't in the best shape right now.” Your mother reprimanded gently and you saw your daughter’s lips tremble slightly, the phone in her hand to show Austin watching attentively over the FaceTime app.

 “I'm sorry mummy, I didn't mean to hurt you.”

You pulled her back against your side, sitting up on the couch so you were propped upright again instead of laying down. Kissing her hair and breathing in her scent, that still reminded you of the time she was a baby, you brushed your hand along her back. “I'll be okay, baby, now what's this about Austin calling?”

“Hey darlin’, you doin’ okay all the way over there on that island?” 

You knew he was trying to keep in all the questions he had when he heard your mother and Lottie talk, but even as good as an actor he was, he couldn't keep the concern shining in his ocean blue eyes.

“I'll be fine, Aus, nothing a few days rest and a hearty meal won't fix.”

Squinting, he shook his dark blonde locks, giving you a disapproving look. “Lottie said you fell, hurt your knee and ankle.”

“Don't worry about it. My mum is helping out for the time being, keeping the girls entertained and me off my feet.” You sent him a reassuring smile, playing with Lottie's locks. “How are you? Are you taking care of yourself?”

“Hmm, yeah. It's warm, the sun’s shining and I'm relaxing at the beach.”

Your daughter giggled at his playful retort, her body jumping so hard, you had to hold onto her so she wouldn't fall off the couch and hit her head. “Austin! You're so funny. He's so funny mummy, right!”

Humming, you nodded your head, but you saw dark shadows under his eyes, not from lack of sleep but from his anxiety and his brain turning in a million directions as he once told you. “Why don't you help granny while I talk to Austin for a minute. You can come back and show him what decorations Millie and you made for Christmas. How's that sound sweetheart?”

With a deep sigh she nodded her head and skipped into the kitchen, telling your mother that you sent her away to have a grown up talk with Austin.

“She's getting quite sassy for her age.” The actor commented, sitting back on the lounge chair in the cabana, the blue shirt he wore pulled down at the neck to reveal a sliver of his chest making you swallow against the dryness of your throat.

“She is. Seems to be your influence because she never acted like that before she met you.” You accused with a smile before turning serious again. “Now what's this about? Shouldn't you be enjoying your mini getaway with your lovely girlfriend before the award marathon?”

Nodding his head, he put his arm behind his head, leaning his phone against his propped up leg. His free hand scratched along his chin and you knew with whatever in his mind right now, Austin wasn't enjoying his time with Kaia. 

“I've got a lot on my mind, I guess.”

“Want to talk about it? You know, I've got time before dinner.”

A mixture between a groan and a sigh left his lips as he stared into your eyes, making your insides twist with something you hadn't felt in so long, something warm and soothing. “I think I'm stuck in a kind of predicament.”

“Okay, something with your next project? Or the upcoming awards?”

“No,” Austin shook his head. “It's you.”

Wide eyes stared at him as you tried to comprehend what the actor just told you. “M-me? I mean, why?”

“I've been thinking about you and I can't stop it. I should be happy with Kaia, but all I'm thinking about is if I'd have a chance with you, if you'd be my girl and I'd get to call the girls and you my family.”

You shook your head in denial. His confession was making your head spin. You were friends, nothing more. “Austin, you, you've got Kaia, it's not fair to her. I, this can't happen, I'm sorry.”

His hand tightened in his sandy blond locks, trying desperately to keep his composure and you knew his anxiety was ready to make itself known. “I know. I tried so fucking hard. But God forbid, I want you… so much.”

“This…Austin, it’s…I can’t, I’m really sorry. I can only be your friend,” You felt the burn behind your eyes, the tears building up and threatening to make you blind. Yet you refused to let them fall. The crestfallen look on his face made your heart ache but you knew there was no way a relationship would work at the moment. “You need to focus on your career on all those amazing projects you’ll be able to make and we can’t distract you.”

Shaking his head, Austin sat up again, his phone now close to his face and you saw the tears building in his own eyes. He was an amazing actor and yet he could be read so easily. “I can focus on my career with you. I want you, I want the girls, I want everything!”

With each word his voice got louder, until he nearly screamed it for everyone to hear. You could make out a shadowy figure at his side and swallowed thickly. Probably not the best topic to talk about when his girlfriend was just a few feet away and they should be happily engaged in other activities during their couples time.

“I can be friend, Austin, nothing more. You want to talk to the girls? They made Christmas decorations with Elvis on their stars.” He nodded his head, brushing his long fingers under his eyes and you could feel the dredd pool deep in your stomach. Keeping the sniffles to yourself until you were safely tucked away in the bathroom, you called Lottie and Millie and with some grunting and heaving, you managed to get off the couch.

Your mother's eyes followed you before you pushed out your daughters’ excited squeals and Austin’s playful responses. 

Your heart ached and you felt your stomach clench, thinking back on his words. 

What had you gotten yourself into?

He was an amazing guy but you feared you weren't the right one for him. 

Putting your hand over your mouth, you tried to muffle your sniffles, the tears wetting your cheeks on the way down as you felt your heart shattering.

“So, she said No?”

Before he called you, Austin had finally sat down with Kaia and discussed what had been plaguing him the last few months.

He knew it wasn't fair to be with her and think about the what ifs of you being there.

Of course she wasn't happy, their relationship lasting not even a year, but the model had already seen a change in him. She was sad and cried when they talked but knew neither of them would be happy if they continued like they did.

So they agreed to end it there on their mini getaway, agreeing to be better off as friends, still supporting the other on their dreams.

Kaia sat on the end of the lounge right at his feet. She leaned on his knee, watching Austin closely. He always wears his heart on his sleeve and she could see the defeated look all over his face.

“I'm sorry.” Pushing the heels of his hands against his eyes, he tried to keep.the tears at bay, being the sensitive man he was. “She told him she could be my friend, but nothing more.”

“She's lying.” She finally mused, thinking back on what she heard you say during the call. “She was ready to break down and admit it, Aus.”

Pursing his lips the actor watched his girlfriend, well ex closely. “But she said”

“It's not what she said, it's what she didn't say. The way she behaved.” Kaia sent him a smile. “She's just as in love with you as you are with her. No woman in her right mind wouldn't be in love with you. I mean look at me, we had a great time together.”

Awkwardly scratching his fingers along his chin, the actor breathed out a sigh. He was loath to admit that it had been an amazing time with her but life was throwing him curve balls left and right it seemed. “I'm thankful for our time together and I'm sorry for the way this played out, but I”

“We're staying friends, Aus, I'm not letting you off that easily. I'll be helping you get your girl, besides maybe that way mom will be distracted the next time I FaceTime her and the girls to ask me when I'll be deciding to grace the world with little Crawford models.”

“Oh god.” He chuckled, throwing his head back with a laugh. “Please don't. Enjoy what you're doing right now. You'll know when you find the right guy.”

Kaia hummed, drawing an invisible pattern on his propped up knee. “I thought that was you, but you know the last few months we've both been so focused on our career and things we both clearly have different thoughts about, that it hasn't felt like in the beginning. And I guess ending this while we can is the best decision for us.”

“I'll have to talk to Kate, make sure there's no dumb rumors circling and we get a joint statement out there to keep it as low as possible.” His free hand gently brushed along her shoulder, before settling on her back and drawing Kaia into a tight hug. “You don't know how much this means to me. The last time, with Nessa, being friendly wouldn't have been possible.”

The model reached her hand up, brushing a stray tear away that had slowly made its way down his cheek. “Have you been able to talk to her at all? Clear it up after all that time?”

He shook his head. “Honestly, I don't know what I would tell her, she didn't want to listen the first time and I guess she's happy now. Why wake sleeping dogs when you can keep the peace?”

“Well, that is a good reason…for now.” She shrugged her shoulders. “Let's focus on your darlin’ and how to get her to admit she is head over heels for you.” Winking, Kaia got up and moved inside the villa they had rented for the week, determined to get her mission, to shove you into his arms, started.

If there was one woman she was going to step aside for it was you. She had known you had feelings for Austin for a while but you never acted on them and she had to give it to you: for her you were more sister and close friend than some of her friends in LA.

Feb. 2023

“Hey, Ash. How's everyone? How's my favorite niece?”

The corners of his mouth raised up at the light chuckles coming from his phone. Austin was back in London for another night of awards. He still couldn't believe he had won all those awards like the People's Choice or Golden Globe and gotten nominations for Elvis alone. Hell, he was nominated for the BAFTA and the Oscar. This was beyond anything he ever thought and yet, looking out over Hyde Park he felt his gut churning. He wished he could talk to his mom, to Lisa-Marie who had given him so much strength before he lost her suddenly a few weeks ago. She had the same calming energy as his mom and after getting to know her he was drawn to her, happy for every moment he shared with Elvis’ only child. 

You still hadn't stopped seeing him as just a friend, calling him and congratulating on his win, listening to him when he got the news of Lisa's passing. He didn't think it possible but he fell even more and Austin wasn't sure he'd be able to recover easily.

“She's your only niece for now but Juju is doing great, really everyone is.” Ashley told him with a grin. “How're you Mr. Golden Globe winner? Heard your in the run for a BAFTA and Oscar.”

“It's unbelievable, I…phew, still can't believe it. I called Nessa, I wanted to talk to her and…thank her, you know, for what she did back then. Didn't want her to just read it in the press. I-I wished mom could be here. And Lisa.” 

His eyes watered. Austin had so many moments he was taking on alone again. Kaia was back in LA filming while juggling the runway as well but she loved it and every time they talked he could hear the lightness in her voice. 

“I'm sorry Aus, you know they're hella proud of you. Your mom is always there, Juju was in the garden a few days ago and this huge butterfly just plopped down on her nose and I knew Lori was there looking after her. And I bet Lisa will shine down on you as well. You made something really special.” She pulled him out of his dark thoughts, the small smile returning to his plumb lips. “And I'm sorry about Kaia, I know you guys were super happy. But you're still friends right? Are you going to be okay, want to talk about it?”

“Hm, yeah, I think so. Right now I wished I wasn't going alone tonight.” 

Humming, the actress sent him a smile. “You're not alone, babe. Baz is there and Kate, she'll make sure everything goes smoothly.”

Running his hand through his hair, Austin sat down on the plush settee in front of the bed. “I know, it's not them, it's…I'm grateful for them but there's, I wished she was there with me.”

“Oh!” Ashley's eyes widened with a grin spreading on her lips. “You still haven't gotten further with her?”

“No,” he sighed. “I even sent her love songs, ones I sang myself, tried to talk to her again when I called the girls, but she's insistent.”

“Don't worry, she'll come around.” The actress winked and Austin racked his brain about what she was going on about. He hoped she wasn't doing something he might regret in the end.

“Good morning my little poppets, I come bearing breakfast.” Your father called in his fake british accent from the front door of your flat. Your daughters squeals erupted with shouts of grandpa and you watched them run around, laughing softly at their antics. Your mother helped you in the kitchen, preparing the cake for Millies's birthday the next day.

“She's so excited for tomorrow.” Your mother laughed, mixing the cake batter and winking at you.

“That she is. She can't wait to be four, kept asking me when it was time for bed so her birthday would come sooner.” Chuckling, the two of you glanced back at the doorway waiting for your rugrats and your father.

“Mommy! Look what grandpa brought me!” Lottie called running over to you, holding up an Elvis coloring book. Your father followed closely with your youngest propped up on his hip. Somehow you had a feeling her obsession with the King of Rock'n'Roll was only fueled by Austin and your father. 

“Found it in that web shop and she wouldn't shut up about this Austin being Elvis in that new movie, so I thought I'd do ya a favor. That way she'll keep quiet for some time as well.” He ruffled her hair and grinned down at his oldest granddaughter.

Shaking your head, you were just about to retort when your phone chimed with a new message. You guessed it was Austin, telling you he had arrived safely at his hotel and was preparing to surprise Millie tomorrow with a visit.

Meet me at the Four Seasons. It's important. K

Kaia? Why was she…You hoped Austin was okay. You hoped she was okay. Of course you had read the news on their break-up, feeling guilty about it all and you knew Austin’s decision on that but you wanted to talk to her, explaining that you never intended, never encouraged him to start feeling anything for you. 

Swallowing the lump that had formed in your throat, you casually replied and asked her when she wanted to meet you. The reply was immediate and you felt that gut wrenching anxiety.

Was she going to blame you for the break-up? Oh god, this wasn’t going to end well.

Get here as soon as you can. K

And you did. You had asked your parents to watch the girls, not knowing how long the talk with Austin’s ex would take and what she really wanted. Anything was possible. Kaia had always been super nice to you and the girls, but there was no way of knowing if her thoughts about you had changed now after the end of their relationship.

So, you made your way inside the hotel, hands clammy and knees chittery from the dark thoughts swirling inside your head. The front desk loomed over you and you raked your brain on how to approach this, they probably wouldn’t just let anybody know information on

“Hey, Y/N.”  

Turning around with a soft gasp, you saw Kaia sitting together with two women watching expectantly. Taking a deep breath you clutched your bag tightly, a lifeline if you will and suddenly you felt stupid for being overly dramatic but you couldn’t help it. “H-Hey, Kaia. I’m sorry, I came as fast as I could and well, honestly I don’t know why I’m here, but I’m really sorry and I never meant”

She giggled softly, stopping your rambling and put her arm around your shoulder to pull you over, sitting with her and the women. “God, you’re such a sweetheart. I’m not mad. I was bummed, sure, but I guess we wanted different things in life so it’s all good.”

“But you, you said it was important and I thought you were going to hate me and I’m rambling again, sorry, I’m just nervous.”

Chuckling, one of the women got up and offered her hand. “I’m Sandra and this lovely lady is Sofia. Kaia asked us to get you ready for your date with Austin.”

Wide eyes turned to the model, your hand tightly gripping the offered appendage. “M-My date? I don’t…I think you’re mistaken. There was never any word about a date, besides we’re not even a couple.”

“Yet and yes, you’ll be going on an awards date. Aus has been moping the last two and a half months and to be honest, I want cheery, cheeky Austin back as my friend. So, we’re going to doll you up and I definitely know you’re going to blow him away.” She smirked at you, grabbing your arm and pulling you along to the elevators. 

“But” Your protests were cut short as the doors closed and the four of you made your way to Kaia’s hotel room. With it still being morning, Sandra told you there was enough time to get ready without any kind of stressing out - at least time wise, inside your brain was another story. You kind of felt like the girl from that Disney movie Inside Out. So many feelings at once.

“Right, so Austin is still up in his room, Tom and Jamie are going to join him later, we’ll be down here and get you ready. If you want you can take a shower first, relax a little and calm down.” The model suggested grabbing the champagne bottle from the large table inside her room - well more like a suite, if you were asked.

“I-I need to call my mum, she’s taking care of the girls right now. I thought I’d not be longer than an hour if you let me live.” You shrugged, anxiously biting off the skin on your finger.

Sofia grabbed your hand and pulled it away from your mouth. “Stop that, you don’t have anything to worry about.”

“So you say. You guys are gorgeous looking with killer bodies. Those dresses belong on you, not little ol’ me.” Your shoulders slumped. “The last time I remotely dressed up was for a date a year ago and the only positive thing he said to me was that my eyes were looking a bit tired and I should make sure to get enough sleep. I haven’t seen the inside of a gym for over three and a half years when I tried to train off all that baby weight and then just gave up. My ass is too big, my boobs are saggy and”

“And you have two wonderful kids that you love to bits. You look gorgeous with the right tool, believe me. Me looking like that is the combination of good genes and hard work.” Kaia pointed to herself. “There’s days I’m super happy to just sit down, doing nothing and enjoying the greasiest food I can get. But then I remember I have to get back to the Fashion shows.”

Taking a deep breath you nodded your head. “I still need to call my parents.”

“I’ll do that, you take a shower and drink that glass of champagne, believe me, it works wonders.” Kaia suggested, pushing you towards the en-suite and taking your bag. “Now, chop chop, we haven’t got all day.”

After your shower, Jamie, Austin’s hairstylist sat you down in front of the large vanity, all tools and makeup stashed on the table. You couldn't remember if you ever dreamed of something like this - your wedding maybe, but on a day like today, definitely not.

“What do you think about this one?” Sandra held up a gorgeous tulle dress, long sleeved and rhinestones all over. It was perfect, just not for you.

Shaking your head, you forgot Jamie was still fighting with your hair. She had been adamant that the last time a female sat in her chair had been back when she was training. The pull on your temples as she combed it was enough of a reprimand to sit still.

“It's the fourth dress you said no to. What is wrong with this one?” The stylist sighed and turned to Kaia who was shrugging her shoulders, obviously giving up on reasoning right now. “The first”

“My boobs are to big for that one.”

“Why do you think I've got Boob-Tape? The next was too low cut, the slit on the other one too high.”

“I just, I don't think this is me. Can't it be just a simple black dress, no fancy feathers, stones or whatever. For all I care, run down to Primark and get me a slip dress and I'd be fine with that.”

Sofia gave you a stern look, brandishing her powder brush as if it was a weapon to hit some sense into you. “Absolutely not. You're going to be the dame of the ball, you hear me. Everybody will be so jealous Austin is having you in his arms.”

Taking a deep breath you reminded yourself that the four women wouldn't let you say anything else. So you sat and let them flit about and do their thing.

“Okay, I've got one more dress, if you don't wear that, you'll have to walk about in your underwear.” Sandra smirked at you, holding up a black evening gown. “I think this one will be what you want. It’s Saint Laurent and paired with those gorgeous black Jimmy Choo heels you’ll look amazing.”

Your fingers brushed along the dress, feeling the cool silk underneath, that’s when you saw the back. The fabric was bound together in the back but if you wore that, you’d not be able to wear a bra. “My boobs are going to fall out of this one.” You moaned looking at the stylist and the model.

“Nope, that’s where the boob-tape comes in. Now let Jamie and Sofia swing their magic wands and get you in this dress ASAP.” Sandra commented, winking at you.

Kaia chuckled next to her, taking a sip of the coffee room service had brought half an hour ago. “You know, that sounded a bit dirty right there, Sandy.”

An hour later you found yourself at the back entrance, hair and makeup on point, pictures taken for your parents and hands clutching the bag like a rope. Kaia smiled at you, her arm linked with your own. “You, you're going to come with me, right?”

“I'll be at the show, but I'm taking a different car.”

Panic seized you, gripping her hand so tight she winced slightly. “I can't go there alone, I don't even what to do.”

Shaking her head, Kaia pulled you into a hug. “You'll be fine, I promise. Now get in the car, Austin will be in in a second.”

“Aus” Your eyes widened, but she already shoved you inside the car. Swallowing against the dryness of your throat you leaned back into the seat. Even sitting down you felt like your knees were going to give away. Then the door on the other side opened and you felt your heart stutter. He looked so handsome in his suit and bow tie.

“Darlin’?” He smiled, his hand reaching for you. “I, what are you doing here?”

“I-I, Kaia, she said I should meet her here and then suddenly they were on me, dressing me up and telling me I was your date for tonight.”

Austin's smile widened as he leaned closer. “I'm not complaining at all, but, are you okay!”

“I don't know.” You shrugged, grabbing his hand in yours and giving it a light squeeze. Thank god the privacy screen was up or you probably wouldn’t have had the courage to talk with him right now. “I keep thinking that I might have hit my head, that maybe Kaia really hated me and I'm up in that room and wake up soon.”

He chuckled softly, shaking his head. “I assure you, you're very awake. Because if you aren't then I'm asleep as well and it would be such an amazing dream.” Leaning in, his lips brushed against your cheek. 

“I'm sorry about before.” Your eyes watered, leaning your forehead against his own, the fingers of your free hand brushing along his chin, the light stubble scratching your palm. “Truth is, I never wanted to fall in love with you. I loved before and was hurt badly in the process. But you were so different and you were in a relationship. Your a celebrity, I'm just me, I'm a nobody. And the girls, they are my world and you were the only one putting them first, not even their own father does that.”

His Adam's apple bopped and you could see his emotions swirling in his ocean eyes. “You're not a nobody, darlin’, you're somebody to me and if I'm honest with you, I never wantesnto fall in love with you either but Lottie and Millie made it hard not to fall in love and in the end all I wanted was the three of you with me.”

Your eyes flitted between his eyes and plush lips, the butterflies dancing inside your belly until you used all your courage and sealed your lips with his, no thought left to the carefully applied lip gloss Sofia used on you. It had taken you months to admit to yourself what you really wanted and now you finally found it. 

Austin's arms wound around your waist, pulling you closer, only just stopping before you straddled his waist. He moaned into his mouth, your arms slinging around his shoulder, fingers playing with the hair in his neck.

“I love you, Austin and I'm sorry I tried to push you away.” You confessed, breaking the kiss.

“I'm happy, you came to your senses. You’ll be my lucky charm tonight.” 

Smirking, your fingers brushing over his lips, taking away the gloss you left there with your kiss. “I'll try to be the best lucky charm you can have.”

“The best and everyone will be jealous of me having the most beautiful woman of the night in my arms.” Chuckling, Austin’s hand moved up along your bare back. “I love that dress.”

“Hm, I think I like it as well.” You had to give it to Sandra, she was a master of her art. She truly made you irresistible to him. "Oh, you want to call the girls before you head off to the carpet?"

“Yes, I missed them today.”

He brushed his lips against your temple, leaning against you as you grabbed your phone from the clutch his stylist grabbed for you.

“Mummy! Austin!” Lottie called loudly, jumping off the sofa to sit next to her little sister who was coloring a page of her Elvis coloring book. “Granny said you were going to a party tonight and we could stay up to watch you win that award.”

“Lottie, I don't think that's what granny really meant.” You admonished, but knew they'd probably be too tired to watch it all once the ceremony started.

“Right, little lady, you listen to your mama, no staying up late just to see me, okay? I'll meet up with you tomorrow, take you girls out to have some ice cream, how's that sound?”

Your heart swelled, listening to him talk to your daughters that way. He truly was made to be a dad one day and you hoped this was actually what he really wanted.

“Now, I'll be heading off to the red carpet, take some nice pictures for you and then you can watch the start of the show. If there's a camera I'll send some kisses your way, okay? You be good for your grandma and grandpa and listen to what they say.”

They nodded their little heads, accompanied by aha’s and uhu’s before they sent Austin off with big kisses and loads of good luck. You waved your goodbyes at them and enjoyed the rest of the ride talking about his upcoming projects and the rest of awards season.

Of course you were his lucky charms that night. He won his BAFTA and you couldn't have been prouder of him than you were at the moment he accepted his award.

The video of you running into his arms and kissing him soundly was one of the most viewed of the night, but in that moment, you couldn't care less if everyone knew about you.

[drdemonprince]

DEVON PRICE thank u for being literally the only other person I’ve ever seen who believes Trisha Paytas’s right to identify as a non transitioning femme gay trans man. I’m always on about this to my friends & tbh I think they’re tired of hearing about it lmao

I put this in my tags responding to ur tags on the brokeback post but fr she came out as a femme trans man who likes men and was like “I’m still going to use she/her tho” and everyone Lost Their Shit and bullied her on the internet essentially until she stopped publically identifying that way. And she chose to come out as non-binary and use she/they bc then she wouldn’t face so much backlash. And like it’s literally all just about what she “passes” as or what her gender presentation indicates to others as opposed to how she feels about herself and defines her own gender. Which tbh? I feel like most of the people that harassed her over that were queer and trans people saying she must be confused or was like delegitimizing trana identity??? But fr the people upset about it were just policing and scrutinizing her because they felt like that identity label didn’t match with her gender presentation. It’s fucked up, I wish we lived in a world where Trisha could have been a trans guy and the trans community would have just been like “oh awesome :) good for u, I hope u feel like you know yourself better at the end of the day”

Literally!!!! I thought it was so fucked up that people didn't just let her identify how she did simply because she didn't want to change her presentation. Supposedly leftist people have decided that because she has been problematic it's okay to demonize her for being "annoying" or seeming "crazy." they invalidate everything she says and does in the most ableist transphobic fatphobic fucking ways and it honestly hurts every gnc trans person or genderfluid person when they act that way. I HATE when members of our community promote that gender conforming respectability politics shit. it has done a lot to make being trans harder and worse for me too.

[anghraine]

I've been trying to peer pressure my bff into watching Much Ado About Nothing with me (my fave Shakespeare comedy), and he wanted to have everything in our house set up first etc etc. But he agreed to watch it yesterday and we had a lot of fun absolutely cackling at, well, almost everything.

I do think it's one of the most purely funny Shakespeare plays that are still really good, especially when performed/directed well. We were watching the Joss Whedon version—yes, I know, but I bought it back when it came out and it's still my favorite—and Nathan Fillion's Dogberry is an utter delight, and honestly there are a bunch of script and directorial choices that make it my favorite.

I particularly like Amy Acker's Beatrice: she can be charmingly witty, vulnerable and hurt, sweet and supportive, an adorable dweeb, and ferocious and hard as nails. The way her face changes in the grand romantic scene with Benedick is fantastic—there's this moment where you just see her features harden before she says "Kill Claudio" that I love. I also really loved how often she's visually framed with Hero in the later part of the story: sometimes literally holding her but often visually paired with her in a way that highlights her priorities.

Benedick is pretty good in this version, as well—not as impressive as Acker or Fillion, I'd say, but I like how Benedick initially seems to be a rather callous asshole only for him to be gradually revealed as the most profoundly decent man in the play—not that the competition is steep, but still—especially with regard to women, and how he's, well, also an adorable dweeb until it really matters, at which point he turns deadly serious. And I really like their dynamic once the story gets rolling.

I also love that it doesn't back away from how shitty Claudio is while keeping to the text of the play. He and Don Pedro seem the gentler, sweeter, more romantic characters early on, but the text itself becomes an indictment of them (and Leonato!). My best friend, who hasn't read this/seen another version of it in years, was just like "She's not wrong!" when Beatrice told Benedick to kill Claudio, and shouted "STAB HIM!!!" when Benedick confronts him :D

I really like the performance of Leonato, as well—the way this thus-far affectionate, mild seeming patriarch becomes the most proximate threat to Hero (it really feels like he might snap her neck at any moment) and only seems able to conceive of Hero as a potential victim when told so by other men is terrifying. And Hero herself has a sweetness and dignity but also charm that I enjoy in a character who can be a bit limp in performance.

I do prefer Keanu's Don John though, for peak unpopular opinions.

Of course, I was also reminded of my Pride and Prejudice is to Much Ado as Clueless is to Emma theory, haha. The Much Ado elements are thoroughly overhauled, rearranged, and modernized in plenty of ways, but I think P&P still draws a lot of raw material from it. And I think it's interesting to look at not just Elizabeth and Darcy as Beatrice and Benedick(/Don Pedro, since Darcy combines elements of both), but things like how Austen works to recuperate Claudio in Bingley (not altogether successfully IMO honestly, but a valiant effort that works well enough) and displaces the worst elements of his character onto Wickham. It's not the only influence but it's very striking.

(This is not an original observation, lol; the first time the comparison was made in print afaik was in a March 1813 review of P&P, which had only been published a few weeks earlier at the end of January.)

[dinodaweeb]

Deadly Indifference | one-shot

Deadpool X M!Reader

tw: swearing, mentions of sew a slide thoughts (from both tbh)

Summary: Deadpool wants you to show emotion. (And bugs the crap out of you.)

You sat tied to a chair, remarkably composed despite the circumstances. It’s been your third time getting kidnapped this week and it’s only Tuesday. The man who kidnapped you must’ve died already because a man in red and black walked through the door. He mimed the motion of up and down that you felt too familiar to notice.

“Hey there, buddy,” Deadpool chimed cheerfully, pacing around you. The ropes that tied your wrists to the chair felt surprisingly loose.“You know, most people would be sweating their balls off right about now. But, you’re just chillin’. I like that.”

You glanced up at him with a mild shrug, a gesture that only seemed to fuel Deadpool’s curiosity.

He’s a chatterbox.

“I gotta admit,” Deadpool continued, leaning in close with an exaggerated whisper, his mouth touching your ear. “I’m kinda into this whole ‘I don’t give a crap if Deadpool kills me’ vibe you’ve got going on. It’s refreshing. It’s… kinda hot.”

You raised an eyebrow, your expression betraying a hint of amusement. What is he even saying?

“Are we gonna do this or what?” you asked, your voice flat.

Deadpool stepped back, putting a hand to his chest in mock offense. “Wow, straight to the point! I like it. No foreplay, just bam, let’s get this show on the road. Alright, let’s see if I can make you squeal.”

“Good luck with that,” you replied dryly.

“Okay, tough guy,” Deadpool muttered, starting to circle you with exaggerated steps. “You know, most people are all ‘Oh no, Deadpool, please don’t hurt me! I have a family!’” He gave a side eye (somehow?) through the mask. Or they’ll say ‘No, I haven’t closed my tabs and my web browser history isn’t deleted!’ But you, you’re just sitting there like you’re waiting for your Uber Eats.”

“I did order some food before I got kidnapped,” you replied. “It might be waiting outside.”

Deadpool paused, tilting his head. “What did you get?”

“Chimichangas,” you said with a faint hunger in your eyes.

Deadpool’s eyes widened behind his mask. “You’re serious?”

“Yep. Thought I’d try them out.”

Deadpool’s posture relaxed, and he leaned against the back of your chair. Putting his arm on top of your head like you’ve been childhood best friends. “You know, I like you. You’ve got style. Most people don’t appreciate a good chimichanga.”

He said, as if he wasn’t trying to kill you two minutes prior.

“Are we going somewhere with this?” you asked, your tone still indifferent. You brought this question up a second time. Was he still trying to kill you?

“Right, right, getting sidetracked,” Deadpool said, snapping back to the task at hand. “So, here’s the deal: I’m gonna try and scare the crap out of you, and you’re gonna react like a normal human being. Got it?”

“Sure,” you agreed, not sounding convinced.

“Alright!” Deadpool clapped his hands together. “Let’s start with something simple. How about… I cut off a finger?”

You held up your hand, which was still loosely tied. “You gonna untie me first, or do I do it myself?”

Deadpool rolled his eyes. “You’re really killing the vibe here, you know that?”

You shrugged again. “Look, man, it’s been a long week. Just get on with it.”

Deadpool sighed dramatically. “Okay, okay. Plan B.” He suddenly leaned in close, his voice dropping to a menacing whisper. “We are going to start an only fans.”

You looked at him, deadpan. “Seriously? No one is going to pay for that shit.”

“Hey, people totally dig the whole “I got kidnapped by a hot anti-hero and now I’m slowly falling for them.” Deadpool retorted, pointing at the screen, hoping whoever reading this did not have a watt pad phase.

“This is ridiculous,” you muttered.

“You’re right,” Deadpool said, standing up straight and tossing the a coin aside. “You know what? You’re impossible to scare. So, I’m gonna make you wish you’d never crossed paths with me.”

Without warning, he drew one of his katanas and sliced a shallow cut across your cheek. The cold steel was sharp, precise, and for the first time, you felt a sting of pain.

The burn of cut flesh.

“Finally,” you muttered, almost relieved.

Deadpool noticed the change in your eyes—the hint of happiness, the glimmer of anticipation. He smirked under his mask, raising the blade as if to deliver the final blow.

You closed your eyes, ready to embrace the end. But then, nothing.

You opened your eyes to find Deadpool standing there, the blade poised but unmoving. He tilted his head, studying your reaction.

“Aw, were you actually looking forward to that?” Deadpool asked, his tone mockingly sweet.

Your expression darkened, and anger flared in your eyes. “You…”

Deadpool sheathed his katana, chuckling. “Gotcha. ❤︎ Think I’m going to let you die? Nah, you’re my new piss boy!”

“You are such an ass,” you snapped, genuinely pissed off now.

Deadpool laughed heartily, clearly enjoying your frustration. “Finally! A reaction! See? I knew you had it in you.”

He ruffled your disheveled hair. “Who’s a good boy?”

You glared at him, what a loser. “Actually fucking kill yourself.”

“Not today,” Deadpool said, still chuckling. He untied your ropes with a flourish. “Let’s go get those chimichangas.”

As the two of you headed out of the warehouse, you couldn’t help but shake your head at the absurdity of it all. Were you getting kidnapped again? Did it count if you voluntarily? Would Deadpool ever shut up and just kill you?

“So,” Deadpool said, slinging an arm around your shoulders. “How’s your spice tolerance?”

“Depends,” you replied. “Are you paying?”

“You wish.” Deadpool chuckled.

Bitch.

a/n: Lowkey kinda cringed. But eh. Can’t wait for the deadpool and wolverine movie to come out so I can write for the two of them. (making out) feel free to request :)

[starlightsuffered]

Loads

Info - semi forbidden romance, hidden relationship, no condom, wild sex, just the tip, unprotected sex, multiple positions, multi cum

He climbed through the window, like a thief in the night who just had to have me. Our relationship was new and we weren't even really supposed to be with one another. Up until three weeks ago, l'd been dating his best friend.

The heat between Timothée and I had been intense since day one. I was so unused to this instant spark. So far, most things had been only physical. We were finally touching all the places we'd fantasised about. At last it wasn't forbidden any long. We could ravage one another.

Wild animalistic sex was our specialty. We never took our time. We didn't mind how dirty and wet things got.

Each encounter left everything sodden and permeated with the lust heavy scent of sex.

"Your skin, I need it," Timothée gasped. He was on top of me on seconds. He licked stripes up my neck. His hips were already humping against me as if he couldn't even wait for us to undress before beginning.

"Oh fuck, Timothée," I moaned. My legs were wrapped around him. Our kisses were heated and sloppy. I bit at his lip and pulled. He shuddered with every lewd idea I'm sure he was thinking.

I laughed as I reached down into my panties. I fingered up some of my slick. I ran my digits down his face. He groaned in the most erotic way. He slurped my fingers into his mouth. He suckled desperately. His drool was running down my hand.

"I'm enamoured with you," he gulped. His eyes were wide, but nearly black with feral need.

"I want you, I fucking want to go wild," he told me.

Suddenly, we were ripping off one another's clothing. Panties, bra, boxers, and everything else was thrown haphazardly. We were undulating, pushing down one hand only to grab the other. We were kissing, his long member pressed against my thigh. He was so hard I couldn't believe it. I could feel the veins of him against my supple skin.

"C-condom," | breathed. I needed him inside me. I needed to feel him even if it was through a stupid rubber.

"I-I forgot them," he said sheepishly.

"What?" | demanded

"I'm sorry!"

"Timothée come On!"

"I was so horny. All my blood went to my cock, I couldn't think straight," he pouted.

"Yeah?" I asked curiously.

"Of course, I can't go a day without obsessing over you," he said and nuzzled his face against my jaw.

We had stopped everything. Our breathes were calming. It felt like our lust and heat should be cooling, but I felt it stirring even more.

He wasn't letting me relax. His body was rhythmically rolling against mine. His tongue and lips were adoring my neck. His breath was warm and his hands were roaming.

"W-we could still-"

"I'm not on birth control," I sighed.

"Just the tip," he offered. Just the words made me churn with need.

"Yes," | breathed before I could take it back.

"Fuck really?" He asked, but he didn't wait for an answer. Before I knew it. His thick head was inside me.

The bare and rawness of him was like a lightning bolt to my system. I grabbed at him wildly. I could feel his throbbing tip and ever gush of precum he emitted.

"It feels-"

"Yeah," he agreed.

He began to quickly pump in and out. We felt doubly as wild as normal. This felt dangerous and erotic in a way we'd never dabbled with. This wouldn't hurt our friend's feelings, but it was forbidden in a way.

"Fuck, fuck, feels so good in this gushing cunt," he murmured into my neck. He was thrusting so hard and then suddenly, it happened.

It felt too good. I was keening and whining. He was grunting and panting. He sunk all the way inside me, bare, and raw.

We looked at one another. It seemed like the planets aligned and everything went insane. There was no stopping us. We were like creatures in mating season.

We clawed at one another as he began to plunge in and out. I wrapped my legs around him. He grabbed handfuls of my breasts. I was pulling at his curls and sucking on his tongue.

"I'll pull out, when I have to, f-fuck, when I have to cum," he pretended to promise. I think we both knew it was a lie. I think we both needed it to be a lie.

"Of course," I agreed, pressing my forehead to his.

"Oh, oh, oh Timothée!" screamed, my nails sunk into his back.

"Mon amour, you're puuuuussy!"

"Yes, yes, fuck me in my raw pussy," I nodded. I was feeling feral and overwhelmed.

"F-fuck, it's so, merde, so good. I love your body. Oh fuck, oh fuck I'm going to cum, l'm going to fucking- I CANT HELP IT!"

Before we knew what was going on, Timothée was ramming into me and pouring rope after rope of cum deep inside me. He didn't stop moving and I didn't either. When I saw the desperation that covered his face I came too. I saw stars as I slammed my cunt up to meet his thrusts and humpped at him.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," | cried. He bit my lip, perhaps trying to quiet, perhaps unable to help claiming me.

"I know," he moaned.

I had never felt so good. To feel his sticky, huge, wet load filling me was beyond pleasure and better than anything l'd ever felt. I wanted it to happen over and over. I wanted every drop of cum he ever made to be inside my pussy.

We were even wilder then. I rolled on top and rode him. I was bouncing and he was grabbing my breasts. Then he flipped us and lifted my legs up and apart as he slammed into me. He grabbed at my lower stomach and anchored himself as he ravaged my pussy.

"Gonna cum again, gonna flood your fucking raw pussy," he groaned out. He was nearly roaring as he came. He was just thrusting like a machine. I arched and wrapped my legs around him. He was spurting inside me again.

"Fuck, fuck, yes, fill me! Mix us together. Oh yes!" I wailed.

I was sore and tired and no where near done. I didn't even remember him positioning me on my knees. I whimpered as he pulled out. My pussy leaked helplessly. He went to the back of me. He entered my cunt again slowly so we each could feel every inch. We both moaned the whole time as he bottomed out.

One of his hands grabbed my hip, the other hand was at my clit. He was massaging and rolling as he thrusted inside me. He was fucking me wildly from behind. I could feel the gooey loads inside me and how his dick forced it deeper. I felt no fear, only extreme lust as the idea of being cum filled and sex drunk.

"That's my good girl, oh fuck, yes," he gasped in my ear. His hand moved intensely on my clit.

"Where's my cock huh? Where's my fucking cock?" He nearly whined.

"Inside me, inside me, raw, buried inside me to the hilt," I panted.

"Yes, fucking deep inside you. Balls deep baby, and bare, completely bare, your skin against mine," he groaned before I came beautifully around him. My walls fluttered desperately. I yanked him by his sweaty locks around to kiss me urgently. He dumped another load right then and there. He even sounded surprised himself as he fucked his cum inside me further.

We didn't stop after that one. We lay on the bed together much later, wet, musky, and feeling heavy with a heady joy and exhaustion. We held hands, having finally satiated the need to be so immeshed and close. The warm after glow was clinging to us and I couldn't help my lazy and satisfied smile even as my pussy dribble my slick and his semen.

"D-do you," he started in a raspy voice. We'd been so loud and intense that his voice had worn out. "Do you even know how many times I-"

"No idea," | interrupted happily.

"And you're okay with that?" He asked, pulling me to him.

"Absolutely satisfied," I sighed and curled into him.

[thatmexisaurusrex]

I wanted to collect the entirety of the Denial-Verse thus far, my canon compliant fics following Tommy and Buck’s love story throughout the show. It's a character study in loneliness, belonging, what it means to be and feel loved, and what steps it takes to finally believe one can have happiness. And while it will be coming back for Season 8 and will probably have a few short stories here and there before Season 8 begins, I wanted to highlight all four of the current fics within the series.

caught in this denial (tell me the day, I’ll say no more)

| Rated: M | WC: 35K | Chapters: 7 |

Summary: Tommy Kinard's life changes for the better when his old friend Chimney calls him out of the blue for help on a rescue and he meets the adorably awkward Evan "Buck" Buckley.

Excerpt:

Was this man looking down to see the hand or – no. No. Tommy knew it couldn’t be checking out. That wasn’t happening here. The guy took Tommy’s hand and shook it. Kept shaking it as he said, “Evan! Evan Buckley. Or Buck. Whatever you, uh. Want to call me is fine.” And it wouldn’t hurt to be a little friendly, could it? Evan didn’t seem to mind as Tommy leaned only a touch closer, looking into the man’s unwavering eyes as Tommy asked, “Are you sure you don’t have a preference, Evan?” That. That wasn’t blush. That wasn’t bashfulness as Evan’s eyes turned away. This had to be what Evan always sounded like as he mumbled at the ground, still shaking Tommy’s hand, “Evan’s fine.”

Muay Thai and Flying Lessons

| Rated: M | WC: 45.6K | Chapters: 10 |

Summary: Tommy Kinard is dating Evan "Buck" Buckley. They're even going to a wedding together in a few weeks. Tommy's excited about this new relationship, if a little nervous. But Tommy has a good feeling about Evan, and he wants to see this through.

Excerpt:

“Wait, so if you’re not here to hang out with Eddie, who are you hanging out with?” asked Hen. Tommy. Heard the thud of someone falling down from the firetruck. And there, on the floor, faceplanted and looking drained of all energy, was Evan Buckley. “Evan?” asked Tommy.

Burnt Lasagna and Slow Dances

| Rated: M | WC: 74.4K | Chapters: 15 |

Summary: Tommy Kinard now has an adorable boyfriend - Evan "Buck" Buckley. And for the first time in Tommy's life, he feels like, maybe, just maybe, this relationship might last.

Excerpt:

And all those different conversations overlapping was overwhelming. Tommy barely knew if he could untangle them, let alone take any of them in. But through all the noise and chaos, he saw Evan’s texts. EVAN: Hey EVAN: Saw that Tay interviewed you EVAN: I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen someone trip her up because of genuine honesty haha EVAN: Today was probably rough, though EVAN: I’ll pick you up, okay? Tommy smiled at that. And Tommy texted Evan back. TOMMY: It was rough TOMMY: Thank you, I’d love for you to pick me up Tommy heard the telltale ding of a cell phone… right outside the locker room. Tommy looked to the door, seeing Evan waiting there with a bouquet of flowers. Tommy’s smile grew wider.

The Fire is Inside the House

| Rated: M | WC: 79.1K | Chapters: 14 |

Summary: Evan "Buck" Buckley is fighting a wildfire with the 118, when he sees a helicopter crash - the helicopter of his boyfriend, Tommy Kinard. It's a race against time to find Tommy before the wildfire hits the crash site.

EXCERPT:

Buck couldn’t stop smiling at Tommy. Tommy was just. Hot. And nice. And he showed up. Always. Fuck. Buck loved this guy. “What?” asked Tommy, and there was a hint of a smile there. “Nothing. I just like you driving me,” said Buck. And Buck could see that Tommy couldn’t help it, he smiled too; not quite the scrunchy kind, but that dimpled one he did. The morning was young. Buck could get his man to that scrunch nose smile. “Oh, you like a chauffeur?” asked Tommy playfully. “Only one as hot as you.” And there was the scrunch. “I only drive the hottest myself.”

[dastardlydaemon]

okay then. now comes the time for me to share my thoughts on the B&C turn of events or rather the part of it with daemon's scenes.

we start off with daemon off to carry out some action after clearly being seen missing from the funeral that the rest of the fam was attending.

row row rowing down the sea to get to king's landing. the man has got on his crime cloak so you know he's ready to deal some chaos. but can we also appreciate how this man can waltz in and out of KL virtually undetected? (let's not forget this was his city. the city he was born and raised in and he does know it like the back of his hand. also he does know the inside of the keep and flea bottom too. which makes me think he could sneak in anytime viserys banished him if he wanted too because he's just that defiant but anyway.) especially with how the greens think they're safe since their giant dragon vhagar has been patrolling the skies.

he offers a tribute. because he knows you've got to grease the hands that will do your bidding but also you can see that the guard knows it's him, his commander. the guy who created the gold cloaks in the first place. and even though he's not their "current" commander, he's still revered as "the commander," which says a lot.

daemon says: never gone for long. which alludes to the relative ease he can come in and out of the city when he so chooses.

also, throwback here to otto and how he made the point that daemon had 2000 strong men under his command and that they were all loyal to him and that made him well, scary. it seems like the Hightowers forgot that bit though. because this particular guard quickly shows his alligence by saying "fuck the hightowers" once he's prompted in that direction.

how did he know this particular one would be the one to say that? he probably got intel on it before approaching him because he's got mysaria and her network at his disposal once again. he has to do this right and he would not leave room for errors since that would mean getting caught and he can't afford that. pretty sure daemon sought him out on purpose at this point.

so we know this is blood and once he says the magic words to daemon he then proceeds to open the door and then takes daemon into the city under the guise of taking a prisoner. this is well done if it weren't for that telling targ hair sticking out of daemon's hood as he's being led forward but okay let's ignore that. it's dark and people can't see right anyway. then they met the dude who shall henceforth go down in history as cheese since he was the red keep's ratcatcher.

the plan was to get aemond. since that's who rhaenyra wants. so daemon tells him to go after him and gives him the deets. easy enough job. yes? one would think so except we know aemond went off on his merry way somewhere else and that did put a damper on things.

and that is where cheese asks a good question. an important question and the decisive question. and it's here we get a good long stare from daemon (that was honestly chefkiss and well done matt smith on such a fab performance!) and then cut scene.

so based on that only, it is obvious that of course, he did give them a backup plan. and this is why things went the way they did. and as my good friend dori @vhgr pointed out. what happened with jaehaerys wasn't a mistake. it was the backup plan. if you don't find aemond, kill the heir. since earlier during the episode, we saw daemon telling rhaenys off for not ending aegon and his line then and there.

daemon wanted to hit them where it hurt. just like they did to rhaenyra. do I want to talk about the execution of that scene between the two blathering fools? maybe another time.

for now, I wanted to point out that the whole thing was a plan A and if not then plan B sort of thing that was orchestrated by daemon and put into play by blood & cheese. and it was not the comedy of errors I had thought it was initially after the first viewing of a very jam-packed episode. so honestly I blame the packing of the episode for how it went down and not the execution because the show is always going to be different than the books anyway. i mean we've established that much by now.