#like I’m having so much fun . what was wrong w me two days ago

[cupiidzbow]

…….. yknow what i’ll admit it i love having a silly lil monkiesona ……. its good for the bones …..

[kiztae]

hi! if ur not too busy do u think u could come up with something for size kink w soobin? pls & thank you ! 💛

SIZE KINK — c.soobin

genre: afab!reader, very suggestive, brothers bestfriend!soobin, bulge kink, size kink (duh), making out, dry humping, dirty talk? that's probably it. wc: 1.8k [requested]

a/n: might be a bit short. hope you enjoy anon!

just like any other saturday, soobin came over to visit your older brother beomgyu and spend the rest of it playing games in his room. it wasn't new to find soobin in the living room, sitting in the couch and scrolling through his phone mindlessly.

it was only natural, considering he almost lived there with you guys with how often he’d come by. so when you crossed his path, you didn't really mind it and conformed to uttering a soft 'hi soobin' before stepping into the kitchen.

"hi y/n" he looks up with a raise of his eyebrows in acknowledgment, shutting off his phone and standing up slightly to move towards the kitchen island. "how's today treating you?" he inquires with a playful smile as he leans over the counter with his elbows.

“it’s treating me fine, soobin. what about you?” you say between yawns while pouring yourself a glass of water.

you had just woken up a few minutes ago, whenever it was sunday you allowed yourself to sleep in as much as you’d like. which is why you were currently standing in the kitchen, wearing your small pajama shorts and a loose t-shirt you found in your brothers room, at noon.

“so far, so good. but i have to say, it’s even better now that you’re here.” he adds boldly, looking down at the marble and then back up at you.

you could see his eyes glimmer mischievously as he ended his sentence, the two orbs dropping lower and trailing down your exposed collarbones, your chest that was exposing just about enough cleavage to help his imagination, and finally, your hands. everything about you looked so dainty and small, soobin couldn’t help but think about how adorable and weirdly hot he found it.

hell, he knew it was wrong to think about his best friend's little sister under this lewd light but it was just so hard not to.

“you really have a way with words don’t you? save them for the girls on your campus.” you grin in response, emptying the glass of cold water in your mouth and feeling the new energy flowing through your body.

if you had to be honest, it’s not like you hadn’t thought about soobin like that before. you were aware of how attractive he was and especially how close to your ideal type he proved to be. soobin was tall, handsome and a literal giant in proportions but also adorable and cute at times.

nevertheless, you pushed those thoughts away quickly whenever you remembered who he was to you. he was your brother’s best friend, he was older than you, he had many other things he could care about other than you… so why bother?

sure, it wouldn't be awful to have some fun with him, especially after not having any form of sexual activity in the past months (not even a kiss), but you were sure it was all not going to happen anyway. so, you tried your best to stay unfazed by his comments and approaches, figuring he was just teasing you.

“i’m not sweet talking you y/n. i’m—“ before he could continue, beomgyu walked into the room with a loud “you can use the shower now!”, signaling that you could start your morning routine and that he could get back to hanging out with his best friend.

“what are you doing here? you could’ve waited in my room man.” he says with an awkward laugh as he taps his friend’s back.

“well, see you around.” you bid your goodbye and go off to continue with your day, not bothering to finish the earlier conversation.

-

why was getting up suddenly so hard? some sort of heavy weight was placed on top of you, not letting you move up or even around in the room of your mattress. this was not like any other sunday morning. were you still dreaming? after squirming in place for a little more you opened your eyes slowly and looked around despite the hazy vision of your only recent wake up call.

moving around (if you could even call it that) helped you figure out two things: 1. whatever it was that was stopping you was laying half on top of you and pressing your side 2. it was breathing. as soon as you realized the second, you started kicking your feet up and turning around in a hurry like crazy.

"woah—! what the—!" the lump under the other blanket started to blurt out in panic, until it moved up and revealed itself. that's when you were met with a confused soobin with the biggest case of bed hair you've seen.

before you could process it, he swiftly took your wrists into his hands and pushed them against the mattress effortlessly, shifting completely on top of you to keep your legs caged between both of his on your sides with ease. finally, if he got kicked once more he was sure he would get bruises.

"hey—!" you shout against his defense before his right palm comes up to cover your mouth clumsily. it was ridiculous how much of your face his hand covered then, all of your jaw and part of your neck being hidden behind it.

"shhh. don't you realize it's super early in the morning?" he whisper-shouts back, frowning and staring into your eyes, finally.

you relaxed and twisted your head around to take in the room, noticing that it was indeed still dark and that the sunset hadn't even happened yet. once you took it in, you took in the sight of soobin, at last. he was breathing loudly, his hair messy, his shirt hanging low on his chest and his eyes waving around as he looked into yours.

"why are you in my bed?" you murmur with a confused frown once he removed his hand, your breathing starting to speed up when you realize the position you're in right now. god, you hoped he was still sleepy enough to not notice the pink blooming in your cheeks.

"i— i don't know. i thought i went into beomgyu's room after i woke up to drink some water... but i guess not." he trails off, his eyes dipping lower from your eyes to your neck, your disheveled hair, your shirt that bunched up and exposed your waist, until he came back up to stare at your mouth for longer.

"i guess not..." you imitate quietly when your gaze also lays on his pouty lips and then back to his eyes.

"i'm sorry y/n" he states in a more deep voice, his tone sounding hushed as he leaned in closer to you, the hand holding your wrist pushing further up and the other dipping the mattress on your side.

"huh? for what?" you mutter out in surprisement at the sudden apology, your voice breaking softly once you feel him get closer.

"for not holding myself back." he whispers back, his hand interlacing with yours and pinning it deeper into the sheets as he catches your breath in a swift kiss. the action earned a small gasp from you, your form stiffening under his hold briefly, unsure of what was happening, until you sighed into his mouth and leaned in.

he softly groaned in satisfaction once he felt you relax and open your mouth more for him, granting him permission to kiss you deeper. "i'm such a shit best friend aren't i? i just couldn't hold it in anymore." he comments as he leaves your lips for a second, the loss of contact already making you disappointed.

but he doesn't stop. his free hand grazes your side softly and grasps your waist roughly, another gasp coming from you that's quickly swallowed by soobin's lips on yours. his kisses are desperate, hungry even. it's like he doesn't want to waste a single second when he's kissing you.

his tongue dips into your bottom lip and then brushes against yours, the wet sound of it starting to get more noticeable as his mouth melts with yours. you weren't sure you expected soobin to get messy like this, saliva mixing with yours, kisses sloppy and needy, you were loving it.

soobin was heavy on top of you, he was making sure he didn't lay his whole body weight, knowing for sure he would crush you, but he was letting himself press against you just enough for you to be trapped below him. if he wanted to, he could do anything he wanted to you, easily. he could make you his personal ragdoll, move you around however he wanted, take you however he wanted.

as his mouth detached from yours to dip lower and start biting and nipping at your neck, the hand on your waist trailed up and stopped right before your breast. "can i? please.." he says in a hushed voice as he licks a small stripe on the bites he left, his breathing ragged already. following your nod he takes your breast in his hand, his grasp being enough to cover it whole. once he gets permission his hands start roaming around your body more and more, grabbing whatever he can. his palms kneading your ass, then playing with your nipples, grasping your hip tightly as he groans into your mouth between kisses.

"you're so small— i could break you if i'm too rough, couldn't i?" he purrs into your ear, biting your earlobe gently and grinning. he didn't know what got into him but seeing you so weak and helpless in his hold was driving him crazy, he never knew he was so big until now.

"you're just— too big." the whiny tone in your voice as you replied was what did it for him. how could you say that to him and expect him not to go insane?

"fuck, don't do that to me." he blurts out as he lets his head fall on your chest, his hands tightening around your hips. "i won't be able to stop." he warns before his fingers dig into your sides and he pushes himself against you, his giant bulge rubbing on your underwear harshly.

"oh my god— soobin, you're huge" you moan out as the shocks of pleasure hit you, your hips instantly jolting forwards to meet his. at this, he starts thrusting his hips harder and faster against you, rocking the bed carelessly.

"yeah? bet that if i fucked you, you'd have a bulge right here. wouldn't you baby?" he questions while rubbing your tummy right above where his dick was pushing into you. "i'd fuck you so deep, you'd feel it in your stomach." he adds with a smirk, looking right into your eyes as if to taunt you. he never once stopped rocking his hips against you, the tip of his cock starting to leak through his boxers and onto your panties, hitting you right with each thrust.

"then do it." you plead in between whines, taking his cheek in your hand and staring into his eyes desperately. "fuck me until you break me."

-

© kiztae, 2023

[exhaslo]

hey in the mean time I wanted to request something sweet but spicy 😋, so what about (collage?)

Bully!miguel ? X a nobody!fem reader (like someone that the popular kids doesn’t even know about or care into that much offend 😔 and is often bullied by different people and get in the middle of the fight, well tried not to and only get push,nudge, or whatever) and Miguel who is a bullied nerd and saw her one day that catch his eyes it was reader who’s was running into her next period.

Smut pls and fluff PLS 😭🙏 (love any ending 🫶😼) HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY! bye eshalo (I think I spelled it wrong 😔 I’m sorry)

Okay, I think I got a unique idea for this. Gonna spice it up a bit if that's okay~ ;)

Summary: The biggest bully in school had got his eye on the 'ghost' of the college.

Warning: Minors DNI, bullying, smut, fingering, oral (f-receiving)

-----------

There was a popular rumor throughout the college of a ghost that wandered the halls. At first, many people did not believe it since the rumor had only begun a year ago; but, as the weeks passed more and more people saw the ghost. It became a game after two months. Whoever can catch the ghost will win a prize.

It was all fun and games until you found out that you were the ghost. The tears that streamed down your face that night were heavy. You knew that you avoided people and didn't like to get involved, but to be called a ghost. This was worse than the bullying you had throughout middle school and high school.

It only got worse from there. You were afraid to do anything. Every time you stepped out of your private dorm, people could claim they saw the ghost and tried to catch you. You nearly weep every time you even tried to go study. It was all a joke to everyone.

"I hate this," You cried softly as you sat in the staircase of your dorm building.

"Hate what?"

"Being called the ghost." You whimpered. It took you a moment before gasping, "W-Who's there?"

You rubbed your eyes as Miguel walked up the stairs. Your eyes widen in shock. The college's biggest bully stood right below you. His tall and overwhelming features standing out. He gave you a cold stare as he observed you from head to toe.

"You're a pretty cute ghost,"

Miguel smirked as he watched you flinch. Truth be told, Miguel knew exactly who you were. He had his eyes on you since you started this college. Miguel had bullied a lot of people, but watching you get bullied erked him. He wanted to be the shoulder for you to cry on, but how could he approach you? He already had a bad reputation.

"Y-You're-"

"Miguel O'Hara, pleasure to meet you."

Within an instant, Miguel hovered before you. He grabbed your hand and kissed it. You withdrew your hand, walking backwards towards the wall. Your heart was racing a mile a minute as you tried to come up with words. He was too close.

"So the ghost can be touched," Miguel said with a smug grin. You bit your lower lip,

"I-I'm not a ghost!"

"I know you're not," Miguel had your back pressed against the wall, "I've had my eye on you for a while now. I want to get to know you. Will you let me do that?"

You gulped as you looked up into his eyes. The biggest threat in this campus wanted to get close to you? As scared as you were, you couldn't help but agree. This was going to be your way of having protection. Besides, Miguel was good looking. Perhaps with him around, you wouldn't be called a ghost anymore.

--------

It had only been a month since Miguel became your personal bodyguard as you called it. He stuck by your side like glue, keeping you company and helping you avoid those pranksters. You loved having Miguel by yourself. He made you laugh and helped you come out of your shell. Not to mention he was hot. You had dreamed about him far too many times to count, but it wasn't like you were going to make a move anytime soon.

Miguel on the other hand was holding back so much. He wanted to press you against a wall and ravish you with kisses. He wanted to mark you as his. To make you scream his name. Miguel was ready to go all primal on you. Every time he hung out with you, he had to take care of his erection afterwards. You were just so quiet, so shy. He loved hearing your voice.

Today was going to be like any other day. Miguel had already taken care of some annoying pests and was ready to destress with you. He made his way over to your dorm, imagining the smile on your face. Right as he walked up the stairs, he heard sobbing. Those sobs belonged to you!

"(Y/N)! What's wrong?" Miguel asked.

You whimpered, rubbing your eyes as Miguel stood before you. You could see the anger on his face as he slowly approached you, taking the net off your head. He bend down and stroked your cheek before taking off some of the rope that got tangled around your arms and legs.

"I-I just...I just went to check on my mail..." You cried softly. Miguel shushed you, helping you up, "T-They just laughed."

"C'mon, let's go into your room."

Miguel took your key and opened your door. He let you in first before following and shutting the door behind. With a quick lock, he approached you once more and wiped your tears away.

"Don't cry, (Y/n)."

"But Miguel, they still think I'm a ghost." You whimpered. Miguel let out a soft sigh as he leaned forward, kissing you,

"Can I do that to a ghost?"

"N-No?"

"What about this?"

Miguel's hand stroked down your sides as he kept kissing you. You're sad whimpers turned into pleasure ones as Miguel cheered you up. His soft touch was not what you were expecting. It sent shivers up your spine. His tongue licked your lips, demanding entrance. You obeyed, allowing him to bully you for once.

Miguel liked how easily you gave in. His gaze met with yours as he slid your shorts down. His bulge making contact with your panties, grinding against you softly. He didn't want to take things too far, but who knows what will happen. Miguel watched you gasp, holding onto his arms as he moved his hips against yours.

"Can a ghost feel this?" Miguel groaned lowly, his fingers rubbing circles against your clit.

"N-No~"

"Good. I'm going to treat you right, (Y/N). I'll show those guys that they messed with the wrong person. You're my girl."

"H-Hah~ Miguel~"

You whimpered a moan as you moved your hips against his hand. Your back arched against the bed as his fingers started to pump inside your tight gummy walls. His fingers alone were stretching you out. It made your vision blur slightly as you became overwhelmed with pleasure. Each pump and curl of his fingers made the knot in your stomach tighten.

Miguel licked his lips as he took your panties off, throwing them across your room. He watched as your juices spilled over his hand once he made you cum. Your face was red with embarrassment. It was cute. Miguel took his fingers out, giving them a lick,

"Ghosts can't be this cute or red in the face," He teased.

"M-Miguel." You stuttered, trying to hide your face.

Miguel only responded with a hum as he spread your legs. You tried to protest, but gasped loudly as he flicked his tongue against your clit. You arched your back, moaning his name as Miguel held you in place. His tongue swirling around your folds, giving each part of you a taste. No ghost could taste this sweet. No ghost could moan this deliciously.

"M-Mig!"

Your cries were music to his ears. Miguel was going to make this school regret bullying you. You were his. Miguel lapped up your juices as you cam against his tongue. Your throbbing pussy was just asking to be filled, but that had to wait. Miguel had already pushed you to your limit for today.

"Rest up, (Y/n). I promise I'll make you feel even better next time, but I have to teach someone a lesson," Miguel hummed as he licked his lips. You were a panting mess against your bed,

"B-But-"

"I won't let anyone bully you again. You're my girl. Now stay here until I get back. I'm going to finish this later."

You just nodded and blushed madly as you saw his tight erection against his pants. Covering your face, you watched as Miguel left your room with his head held high. You whimpered quietly, still flustered from the orgasm he gave you,

"I'm your ghost~"

------------------------------------------------------------------

Hope you liked the twist I did with your prompt!!

[benedictscanvas]

pick me up at seven - roy kent x reader

pairing: roy kent x fem!reader

word count: 3.1k (they won't all be this long i don't think!!)

warnings: language of course, and this is a little steamy but with no actual smut. my favourite genre HA

request: I can’t find any good Roy fics until your recent one and I’m dying for more 😭 Anyway you could write something else for him? Maybe they’re at a bar and he gets pissed when he sees Jamie flirting w her? (Not a pre established relationship) - @kashee-h

a/n: your wish is my demand!! i'm so happy you enjoyed the first roy fic of what i hope are many to come. this one totally got away from me, i loved writing it so so much, thanks for a request that I really got to make my own! <3

---

Roy is the one who’s invited you here. Roy is the one who trekked over to your office at the end of the working day and told you that everyone was going out that evening. Roy is the one who suggested you come, even when you seemed reluctant to join in on what appeared to be an evening for just the players and the coaches. Roy is the one who convinced you that it would be fun, that he’d make sure of it.

All of this is making it very hard for Roy to accept that you are currently sat in a corner booth with someone else. The fact that the person you seemed to be having such an in depth conversation with was Jamie fucking Tartt was the icing on a very shit cake.

He knew he could be having a better night than just sitting on a barstool trying not to watch the two of you, especially when Ted and Beard arrived to get the next round and he didn’t even acknowledge them. They’d hired out a private room, so it was filled with people he generally tolerated the company, some he’d even go as far as to say that he liked. None of that was registering, however. 

Jamie leans in when you can’t hear something he’s said and he watches you nod solemnly, duck your head to stare at the floor as if flustered, and he wants to walk right out that door and never come back. Maybe he could get a job at Chelsea, or something.

“Now, what’s wrong, Jeremy Strong?” Ted asks, and Roy has to bite back a ‘fuck off’ so hard he wonders if his lip is bleeding, “You look just about ready to start wreckin’ the place.”

Out of the corner of Roy’s eye, he sees Beard lean in to whisper in Ted’s ear and points over at you. Ted looks surprised. Roy does not want to deal with this.

“You’re telling’ me our very own Mr Kent has his eyes on our very own Miss Y/L/N? Well, that’s just great! She’s sweet as anythin’, good for you, Roy.”

“She’s sweet on Jamie fucking Tartt, more like,” he says, even though he knows he’s being so fucking unfair. He hates it about himself. He knows how hard he’s worked on these feelings, on frustration and anger and jealousy, knows that a few years ago he’d be getting ready to fight Jamie down an alley further through tonight. Now he’s done that work, however, he can recognise the overriding feeling that he’s actually just hurt and that’s so much worse. It’s much easier to be jealous than upset.

“Does this call for an impromptu meeting of the Diamond Dogs?” Ted asks brightly and Roy is only able to stop him after his second howl. Higgins has looked over briefly but Beard signals him to stay where he is.

“Fuck no,” Roy blurts out, then reconsiders. Maybe he could at least talk to Ted, “I just- I was going to tell her. Tonight.”

“Tell her what?” Ted’s doing that thing where he bats his eyelashes like he’s in some sort of rom-com. Beard’s got his head resting in his hand, looking similarly up at Roy. They’re insufferable. 

“That I fucking like her, okay? Take those fucking looks off your faces.”

Ted and Beard scramble to look normal but come up short. Ted’s got the awful kind of shit-eating grin on his face that he gets when he sees Sam and Jamie hugging or watches Isaac doing his handshakes with everyone before a game.

“So, you’ve been spending time together? Or are you telling her out of the blue?” Beard pipes up.

Roy thinks that over. You’ve been spending a lot of time together actually. More than anyone at the club would probably even believe. He slips away to your office to eat lunch under the guise of needing a break from the American Circus downstairs. You text him when you’ve brought in ice cream because you know he’ll never say no to ice cream. You’ve met Phoebe. That one was by accident in the park, but you stuck around for four fucking hours and nobody made you.

Still, he wonders whether it would be completely shocking to you or whether you’ve been waiting for him to make a proper move. You’re incredibly difficult to read alongside being so stupidly pretty that sometimes he wants to swear less around you. He doesn’t manage it, of course, but he thinks it.

“Yes, we’ve spent time together. No, I don’t know what that means. Probably doesn’t mean shit to her, not that it would be her fault if she doesn't.”

Ted and Beard tilt their heads simultaneously at him and he wishes he could bash their heads together for a moment.

“But it means somethin’ to you, hey coach? I don’t think Miss Y/N sittin’ with Jamie should stop you from tellin' her how you feel about ‘er, hey coach?”

Roy’s lost track of which coach Ted is even talking to, but Beard chimes in.

“Surely her spending time with Jamie should be all the more incentive to tell her. Find out how she feels. Get that crushing disappointment out of the way now. It’s only downhill from here.”

Roy raises a brow at him as Ted gives him a look. Beard sighs, then picks up his drink and seems to disappear. Ted leans into Roy.

“Him and Jane are on a break again, I’m sorry. Look I’m goin’ to have to go find him but he was right, until he wasn’t. Go get ‘er, Ross Gellar!”

And with that, Ted’s gone too, weaving his way through crowds of people until he’s lost to them. When Roy glances back in your direction, Jamie’s got Colin and Isaac beside him instead and you’re nowhere to be found. He sighs and stands from his barstool, making his way to the exit. Maybe he’d think about what Ted and Beard had said tomorrow: for now, he just wanted to go home.

Except for the fact that when he finally managed to push his way outside to breathe in some fresh air, he found you. Leaning against the wall of the club, with definite tears in your eyes, even under the dim street lamp light. He was going to murder Jamie Tartt, slowly, with rope and paint and suffering involved.

But he knew to take a slightly softer approach with you. If at all possible.

“Hey,” he says quietly, trying not to startle you. You're quick to look up at him, startled anyway, and he grits his teeth as he asks, “Are you alright?”

He doesn’t make any comment about what the fuck Jamie had done to you. Doesn’t think it would be received all that well. Again, he’s biting the inside of his lip harder than ever.

“Yes! Oh god, yes, sorry,” you’re blinking furiously. He admires your resolve when the nearly teary face is quickly replaced by that bright smile that makes him weaker in the knees than he already is, “Fuck, sorry. I’m all good. I’m not sure this is my scene, I was just going to call a taxi.”

There’s an opening. He’ll be damned if he’s not taking it, even though confessing anything is the furthest idea from his mind - he’s much more focused on making sure you’re okay and nobody’s done anything to hurt you. If they have, he's already resigned to a short stint in jail if necessary.

“Do you want to walk?”

“Uh, I mean not really. It’s quite late, so…”

“With me, I mean,” he quickly clarified, wanting to bash his head against the brick wall, “I could walk you home, if you wanted. Or not. That’s fine too.”

“Oh, right,” you’re looking down at your feet as you contemplate it, “That would be nice, if you’re sure. Thank you.”

“It’s nothing,” he insists, falling into step beside you as you begin to walk. He wants to give you his jacket and maybe his shirt too with the way you’re shivering, but he can’t bring himself to do it. He’s a fucking coward, but he will get to the bottom of what’s the matter if its the last thing he does, “You gonna tell me what’s wrong now?”

You huff out a frustrated sigh, at him, at yourself, he isn’t sure.

“I made a fucking fool of myself tonight,” you say eventually, and he can’t even imagine you doing that, “I thought…god, it doesn’t matter what I thought. Everything just feels worse when its…1:30 in the morning, don’t you think?”

You’d lifted his hand to check his watch before you said the time. Again, he wanted to hold on, but he let you drop his hand and it just went limp.

“It fucking does, yeah. Don’t think you could make a fucking fool of yourself if you tried though. Not around us lot.”

Your family, he heard Ted’s voice in his head. He was not fucking saying that. To his surprise, you let out a loud bark of a laugh at his words and he was staring at the side of your face as you spoke out into the dark air.

“I thought you were coming to pick me up tonight, you know?” you began, and his heart drops to his shoes. You’re upset about him?

“What?”

“Something you said earlier, when you asked me to come. You asked where I lived, then told me it would be a twenty minute walk to get there. Then you said ‘see you at seven’.”

He could have stopped walking. He had said that, but he was just trying to help you plan out your timings for the evening - you’d mentioned to him once that you were known for having some time blindness when you were getting ready for things. Of course he should have realised how fucking stupid that was, how much that sounded like he would come and walk with you.

He would have fucking loved to walk with you.

“Fuck!” he exclaimed, far too loudly for the quiet night that surrounded you. You carried on undeterred, shaking your head. He could see your frustration was at yourself now, and he hated himself even more than he had earlier.

“My fault for assuming, I know. But that’s why I was so late. And when I arrived, trying talk myself into not feeling like a twat, you were already over with Dani and Isaac and Bumbercatch, clearly never intending to come pick me up. Which, why would you, of course. I just…felt shit. Jamie tried to help, bless him, but I just wanted to go home, honestly.”

Roy is the biggest idiot on the planet. He wants to go back into the club and hug Jamie for looking after you, then ask him to punch him in the face. Roy could punch something, anything right now, but he just grits his teeth.

“I’m-” he grunts when his voice comes out all strangled, “I’m really fucking sorry, Y/N. I’m the fucking twat. I was asking where you lived and that to help you with that fucking time blindness thing you told me about. Should’ve known how it sounded though. Fucking idiot.”

He directed the last comment at himself, kicking a stone he’d found on the pavement. He kept his eyes firmly trained on his shoes as the two of you continued walking, now at a significantly slower pace. Your eyes were burning a hole in the side of his face.

There was a silence that stretched on as you stared at him, until-

“Fucking hell,” you groaned, “That’s so fucking sweet. You’re the worst.”

He doesn’t know if he can remember being called sweet before. Phoebe was often excessively complimentary of him in a way that made him uncomfortable, but sweet had never come up. He didn’t feel sweet.

“I am the worst,” he grunted, spiralling, “Making you feel so shit. Ruining your fucking night. I was the one who convinced you in the first place and now you’ve had a shit fucking time and I’m the worst.”

He’s a little out of breath and loud again by the end of his rant. The two of you have stopped walking. You kick the toe of your heel against his shoe, placating.

“No, you’re the worst ‘cause you keep giving me all this hope. I fucking hate hope, no matter what Ted says,” you chuckle to yourself, and he’s not sure what you’re saying but he’s peering into your now smiling expression as he tries to work it out, “Look, do you like me or not? You’re a good guy Roy and either way, I’m grateful that you’re walking me home. I just think if I ask, maybe I can just feel like a twat for the night and get it over with by tomorrow.”

“Do I…like you?”

He sounds thick. He feels thick. Feels like his mouth is full of honey that his tongue is having to wade through to even speak to you. It’s stuck to the bottom of his mouth, heavy.

“Yeah. As in, do you just enjoy eating lunch with me or do you ever look at me and just want to kiss me? Cause I do that all the fucking time, Roy, but I can’t be arsed to dance around it anymore.”

You look really tired as you stare up at him, but he feels more energised than ever. You’ve both just established that he’s the absolute worst, and yet here he is, with everything he could’ve wanted right in front of him. You, looking fucking gorgeous and looking at him like that? Even getting a job at Chelsea wouldn’t help him against you - he was gone.

There’s a smirk on his face that he can’t bite back as he takes your face in both his hands and revels in the gasp he can pull from you. He should have known you’d be the first to say something. You weren’t the coward he was.

“Let’s not fuck about then, yeah?”

Low and breathy. You respond with a nod so eager that he’s practically grinning when he pulls you in. It’s quickly replaced by a hunger he’s been keeping at bay, allowing his hands to slide into your hair as he deepens the kiss almost as soon as it’s started. He can feel your hands clutching at the lapels on his jacket, but he’s more excited when you throw your arms around his neck instead, tugging on the hair at the base of his head.

He growls and you actually whimper. It’s like he’s been set on fucking fire. Like he’s been struck by lightning.

When he pulls away for air, you stay close, peppering kisses along the scruff of his jaw, up the side of his face and back down again. He holds you to him tightly around your waist and feels wanted. He’s wanted you for so long, but to be wanted in return, so openly, it’s both hot and meaningful. He’s not sure anyone’s ever told him they liked him before. Most models he’d dated were pretty sold on the idea that he had to make all the moves.

Still, when you begin trailing kisses down his neck and there’s a hand on the top button of his shirt, he has enough sense about him to stop you. Even if he really doesn’t want to.

“I don’t know what street this is,” he breathes out, low voice little more than a rumble, “But maybe we don't give your neighbours a fucking show.”

You look thoroughly kissed when you look back at him, but he doesn’t think it’ll ever be enough. He leans in to kiss you once more to punctuate his sentence, watching as you duck your head, all shy, even though your arms are still around him. He knows now that when you ducked your head with Jamie, you were embarrassed. This is you properly flustered and it’s one of his favourite looks on you.

“Good call, yeah. Okay. I’m- I’m just around this corner, I think.”

“You think?”

“Shut up, you,” you whack him lightly on the shoulder, as the two of you resume walking, “Think you can make it all the way there?”

“I’d carry you if my knee wasn’t fucked,” he admits, watching you with a lopsided smile, “Really fucking like you, by the way. If that wasn’t proof. Thought you should hear me fucking say it.”

You close your eyes in a little half laugh - giddy, he thinks. 

“Well, I did wonder. We’ve spent a lot of time together the last few weeks for someone who doesn’t like spending time with people.”

“Your first clue,” he agrees, taking your hand with pride now as the two of you keep walking, turning the corner towards your house. The pace is a lot quicker than it was before. He hopes he knows why, “I’ll be less of a fucking idiot now. Promise.”

“Eh, don’t worry,” you shrug, letting go of his hand only to thread your arm through his and take hold of his hand again, even tighter, “Nothing sexier than fucking idiots. I like my men with no thoughts behind their eyes.”

He properly laughs at that, head tilted back, feeling your head against his arm as you laugh with him. You slow down, gesturing left. Your house. The two of you walk down the drive until you’re at the door, face to face again and Roy is having a small internal battle.

“Look, I know you said no show for the neighbours,” you begin, almost nervously, “But does that mean a…private show is totally off the table too?”

He watches you picking at your nails. Can’t help it. He pulls you in for another breathless kiss, just to watch you come alive again, confident and fucking into him, however much of a miracle it seems. You pull away this time, clearly keen for an answer, but he groans.

“Tryin’ to be a fucking gentleman, here. Why don’t we do dinner tomorrow? Proper date. And I’ll fucking pick you up.”

You giggle. Still, there’s a glint in your eyes, as you sigh melodramatically.

“That does sound nice. Only thing is, there could be an intruder in here, you know? So, and I’ll only ask once more and then I promise I’ll let you go if you say no, but maybe you should walk me to my bedroom? To make sure I’m safe, you know? And then you can pay for my breakfast in the morning like a good old fashioned gentleman, if you want.”

You’re looking up at him, all hopeful again. His resolve is dwindling. You spin your keys around one finger and its a simple gesture, but it’s the final straw.

“I’m paying for your fucking lunch too,” he growls, diving into you once again. He’s beside himself when he hears you mutter a faint ‘thank fuck’ as you fumble to unlock the door and all but drag him inside.

---

if you've read this far, i fucking love you, you beautiful sunflower <3 requests open for this angry man and his favourite jamie tartt if you're interested!!

[that-trans-autistic-guy]

DBD as Psych Quotes Bcuz I'm Very Bored

Esther: I’m no longer consider a danger to myself and others except for the fat bitch in the cafeteria who can’t grasp the concept of a FULL scoop of mashed potatoes

Charles: Fun fact: the human body, when drained of most of its blood, often times stops working

Charles: First of all, we haven’t learned anything over the years

Edwin: You heard about Pluto? That’s messed up, right?

Jenny: Charles, stop acting like a child! Charles: I'M NOT ACTING!!

Niko, trying to be nice: You're not bald, you're just taller than your hair

Crystal/Esther: I’m dangerous, in a sexy way

Charles, getting caught with Edwin on his shoulders peering through a window: Have you seen the other half of our chicken fight?

Niko: Judgment Day? It sounds bad. That's like the day you get judged

On a case w/ serial killer Charles: What’s wrong with me? Am I not as pretty as them? Edwin: You realize you’re competing with dead girls? Charles: So that’s it… I’m not as pretty as them Edwin: The dead girls? The MURDERED girls?

Charles: I don't lose things. I place things in locations that later elude me

Niko: How can you tell that someone's a compulsive liar? I mean, assuming their pants aren't on fire

Crystal: I can't help being a gorgeous friend. It's just the card I drew

Esther: Everyone stop whatever you're doing and only pay attention to me

Charles: We get caught together, we face death together, it happens every week

Edwin, trying to be with the times: Well, much like Lady Gaga, I was born this way

Jenny, watching the four idiot teens: Okay, you guys are actually devolving

Charles: You call it insane, we call it Tuesday Edwin: It's Thursday Charles: Is it really?

The Cat King: I'm going to ask you to be respectful here Charles: I will politely decline

Edwin: Don't say a word Crystal: Fergulous Edwin: I said don't say a word Crystal: Oh, I see how it works. Two weeks ago, we're playing Scrabble, it's not a word, now suddenly it is a word because it's convenient for you!

i was bored and psych is a classic show so sue me

[sleepyhutcherson]

Hi! I have a sweet fluffy and very angsty Mike Schmidt idea, if you'd like it??

Okay, so what if Mike and the reader dated for a good while in highschool? Like, they were childhood best friends, tried dating in highschool, but ultimately decided that it was a classic case of "right person, wrong time"? Like, they genuinely love each other, but when they were teenagers, they just couldn't do it.. I hope that made sense?

Know It’s For The Better

pairing: mike schmidt x gn!reader

word count: 3.1k words

contains: child bestfriends to lovers to strangers (sorta), “right person, wrong time”, angst, use of y/n, reader works at a cafe, they’re genuinely so in love w each other but it’s just never the right time.

a/n: thank you so much for requesting this anon!! this was so fun to write xx peep the ‘normal people’ and phoebe bridgers references in this. btw maybe this could do a part two but idk.

You lived a quiet—boring, surely—but cosy life at twenty two. You lived alone in a lousy, small flat that you were growing to like more and more everyday as you started shaping it more around your liking. You worked at a small cafe that paid you pretty well, with hours that worked just right for you. You were comfortable at your job, your co-workers were all friendly with each other, you couldn’t complain about your life, even if it was dull.

On your day off your boss had asked you to come in, you agreed but frankly you were a little pissed that you were working on your day off. The cold weather today drew customers away so in a way you couldn’t really complain. You were at the counter, a book in hand that you would occasionally peek up from to glance at the weather from the window. It amused you how only yesterday the sun was shining brightly and now today the sky was threatening to pour, the wind blowing harshly through the trees.

You return your attention to your book, having to re read the passage again. Just then, the bells hanging above the door chime, announcing someone’s arrival. You perk up, closing your book and setting it aside.

You complained about your life lacking entertainment only weeks ago, wishing for some kind of shocker to just happen.

You, however, did not mean for that “shocker” to be Mike Schmidt.

For a second all you can do is stare at him, trying to figure out if you were hallucinating. It was such a rush seeing him—your breath caught, your brows knitted as you tried to make out if it was really him. The last time you saw him he was about eighteen, grasping onto you as he sobbed, precious words being said between you two. But, irritatingly enough, you think you could recognise him anywhere, even after all this time, from merely his appearance, to his hazel eyes you remember getting caught up in, to the familiar black coat he wears even now.

Mike reacts about the same, his eyes widening, the light inside the cafe reflecting on them just perfectly. You almost get trapped into them again.

“Mike,” you breathe out after some time. His name sounds so strange coming out of your mouth.

“Hey,” he replies, tone uncertain. Your eyes trail up to the curls that rest carefully on his head, and you smile. You used to practically beg Mike not to cut his hair, loving the curls that formed whenever he kept it just a little longer than usual. Now he kept them, messily, but still enough to lure your eyes. "How…how are you?" He manages to ask.

Your hands rest on the cool counter in front of you, you can see the way Mike’s eyes land on your hands, longing for touch. “I’m doing good. How have you been?”

“Good.” A simple reply. This all felt weird, seeing each other again after your failed relationship, one neither of you have really moved on from.

Silence. A long, painful silence.

“So, are you going to order something?” You ask, smiling the way you would smile at any other customer because a part of you just wanted to believe he was just another customer. “My boss will scold me if he sees I’m only talking with the only customer we’ve had all day.”

“Right,” Mike looks up at the menu, although he really only came for black coffee. When he looks back at you, his mouth opens, and closes, like he’s debating on what he’s going to say. “I don’t know if you’re busy later but do you want to…catch up? If you’re free, of course.”

You had nothing else to do and you didn’t really have it in you to reject him. “Yeah, okay. I get off in two hours.”

Mike shyly smiles, trying not to be too obvious your agreement meant a lot. “Sounds good,” he says, and then remembers Abby has a school project she’s supposed to work on at home today. “Shit, is it alright if we meet at my place? Abby has this project she needs to work on for school…unless you want to reschedule…”

You can’t help but smile when he mentions Abby, the last time you saw her she was still a baby—about three years old, to be exact. Mike was taking care of her practically full time, you helped with her as much as you could, both of you being constantly mistaken as her parents.

“That’s fine,” you say. He thanks you, throwing in an apology for the inconvenience that you wave off. He writes down his address on a napkin before leaving, not even ordering that black coffee that had drawn him to the small cafe in the first place.

—

The blue front door makes you question if you have the right address. Compared to every other house in the dull neighbourhood, Mike’s house appeared to be the only one with a colourful door—that is if this was Mike’s place.

You’re proven correct when the front door swings open and Abby, who you recognise almost immediately despite her being much older than the last time you saw her. She smiles widely, but it’s obvious she doesn’t recognise you.

“Hello…” you say, awkwardly. You’re not even sure what to tell her when she asks who you are—a friend of Mike’s? It just sounded odd. You’re saved when Mike appears behind Abby.

“Y/N,” he seems pleased to see you. In fact, Mike is pleased to see you. Honestly, he wasn’t sure you would actually stop by. “Oh—Abby, this is who I was telling you about.” Mike says, and you recognise that gentle, almost innocent tone he always used with Abby.

“Hi,” she greets with a smile, standing by Mike’s side. “Mike hasn’t shut up about you—“ she’s interrupted when Mike looks at her with a more stern expression. “Oh, sorry!” She apologises, giggling—she knew well what she was doing.

“Why don’t you go and continue your project, yeah?” Mike suggests, paying no attention to you anymore, his focus entirely on Abby right now.

“Okay.” Abby agrees, which surprises Mike a little. She says a quick “goodbye” to you before running off to her bedroom.

Mike then looks back at you, cheeks slightly flustered. Don’t ever tell Abby anything ever again he makes a mental note of that. “Come in?”

You don’t know what exactly you expected walking into Mike’s home but you feel somewhat pleased seeing Abby’s drawings displayed everywhere in the house, stuffed animals — a dolphin, two bears, a rabbit, a duck, and even a fox — neatly sitting next to each other on the sofa. The house has such a childlike atmosphere to it that you couldn’t help but smile.

“Do you want something to drink?” Mike asks, looking for something in the fridge.

“Sure, thanks.” You reply, your eyes still ogling Mike’s home.

Surely a lot of the decor had to be Abby’s idea, there was so much colour everywhere; from the pillows, the carpet, a crocheted blanket on the sofa, the little toy figures that were placed on the TV stand. It had to be Abby’s touch, the only colours you ever saw on Mike were dull shades of greys and blues.

You’re pulled away by the sound of Mike setting down two glasses of some kind of soft drink on the table. “Abby’s a talented artist,” you say, sitting down at the table, across from Mike.

A small chuckle escapes Mike’s lips. “Yeah,” he agrees, taking a long sip of his drink as he stares at the drawing you were fixated on. “She’s got a real chance at being someone great in life.”

You both don’t say anything for a minute. Mike dreads the silence that falls between the two of you, trying to think of something to say to fill it.

“She’s grown a ton,” you then say. Seeing Abby brought you back so many memories—the good ones, for there were so many of those with Mike. “Remember that time we took her to the park and she kept trying to eat flowers?” You laugh at the memory, one you haven’t thought about in a while.

Mike smiles upon hearing your laugh. “Yeah. She loves flowers, I mean, of course she doesn’t try to eat them anymore but she’s pretty skilled at painting them.”

“She’s doing good then?” You ask.

Mike nods, his hands wrapped around his glass. “Yeah. She’s doing great. Her birthday’s coming up so she won’t shut up about that.” He says teasingly.

“Oh, how old is she turning?” You ask.

“Eight,” he answers, running his finger around the rim of the glass. He couldn’t sit still being around you, his heart racing, but he tried not to acknowledge it.

“That makes me feel old,” you joke, which actually gets a genuine laugh from Mike.

“Then what does that make me?” He teases, a wide smile on his face that makes your heart flutter. Mike was only one year older than you making him twenty three.

You don’t reply and then it hits you, Mike is twenty three, he’s not eighteen anymore. Of course you knew that, you just never really realised just how long it’s been, how much you’ve missed. It’s been five years since you last saw to him—five birthdays you missed, Abby’s and his.

The atmosphere changes then. A depressing realisation hitting you. Mike wasn’t anyone to you anymore. He was once someone to you, not just your boyfriend but your childhood best friend. But now? He could easily be a stranger.

You take a sip of your drink then, and you can feel Mike’s eyes on you. You could always tell when Mike was staring at you, there was something so different about the way his eyes felt on you compared to anyone else’s.

There’s another dreadful silence then. You force yourself to look at the way the bubbles in your drink rise, the way the ice cubes crash into each other.

“Did you feel ashamed seeing me today after how things ended?” Your head snaps up once hearing Mike’s question. You don’t know what to even think—what to even say! He’s got you in a spot, and now you wonder, did you?

No. You didn’t. You really didn’t. You longed for him for so long, for the memories you shared, the pretty words that were exchanged—the many promises that were said.

“No,” you reply, your hands wrapped around the chill glass, still staring at it like it’s the most interesting thing in the world. “I just…it was difficult seeing you.”

Mike nods even if you can’t see him. “I know,” he replies, and then; “it was hard for me, too.” He says a little more quietly.

You realise how unfair everything is, how you and Mike are being pulled together again all of the sudden after all these years—after it never worked for you two. There was always something pulling you apart when you were dating, a sudden intervening, but you both always tried to make it work. Until, of course, both of you saw it best to end things, that perhaps there was a reason why you were being pulled apart.

The last time you saw Mike he was eighteen, trying to find a job to help provide for Abby, and mourning the sudden absence of his father. It wasn’t a good time for him.

A guilt washes over you because you deserted him the time he needed you most. “I’m so sorry,” you say, finally building up the courage to meet his eyes. Honestly, he had no idea what exactly you were apologising for.

His brows pinch together slightly, his eyes fixed on yours with such focus even if you’re avoiding his. “You don’t have anything to apologise for,” he says, “we both agreed it was…best to end things.” Which was true, the breakup was mutual, one both of you agreed to despite how much it pained both of you.

“I shouldn’t have left you though,” your eyes are sad and Mike can’t bear the way they look.

Mike smiles sadly, reaching across for you hands. They’re cold from the glass, the contact from his hands immediately warming yours up. You don’t pull away from his touch, the sudden touch startles you but you soon relax at the familiarity.

“Maybe it was for the better.” Your heart breaks at his words, the memories that linger within them. The memory of Mike kissing your tears away, whispering “it’s for the better” between each kiss that last time you saw him.

Your eyes shut, and you let your head fall not wanting Mike to see you struggle fighting back tears. The sudden sound of his chair screeching against the tile making your eyes flutter open, and soon Mike is kneeling beside you, looking up at you with his soft, doleful eyes.

“Hey, hey,” he whispers, his tone rather soothing. He tries to meet your eyes but you look away from his knowing that if you do you’ll probably break. “Look at me, baby.” You relent, being manipulated to meet his eyes hearing the intimate nickname.

And for a moment you both just stare into each other’s eyes, Mike’s mouth opening slightly, being enamoured by the sight of you alone. He could live like this—staring up at you, if he could he thinks he would agree to stay like this forever, with you being his only sight.

He stands up and pulls you up with him, his hands resting on your waist holding you still. Holding you tightly, scared to lose you again. “I’ve thought about you everyday since,” he admits in a whisper. You feel a pang of guilt.

“Mike,” you sigh, your hands grasping onto his dark blue zip up tightly, your knuckles turning white.

He doesn’t say anything. His hands move up slowly from your waist, to your arms, to your shoulders, to your neck and finally up to cup your face. It’s such an intense moment, both of you overwhelmed with the touch.

Mike fears that this could be the last time he touches you, he doesn’t know where this will go but with the reputation you both have he isn’t sure this will end well. You know it, too. You know that the universe has spawned Mike back into your life the very moment you’re far too busy for a relationship. You don’t want to address it, you don’t even want to recognise it yourself so you say nothing.

But you both know deep down.

His hands feel warm against your skin, they’re callous but perfect against your cheeks. “I’m here,” you say, “so kiss me.” It comes out more desperate than you would like, but it doesn’t matter, you were desperate, craving what could be a last kiss.

Mike doesn’t hesitate, of course. He pulls you in, gradually, looking at you briefly before he closes his eyes to push his lips against yours. Your body weakens, your heart beating quickly in your chest as the kiss deepens. He makes sure to take his time like he did the last time, kissing you ever so passionately. He wants you to know that in this moment he has everything. That the one thing he has ever lacked in life has finally come back to him even if only briefly.

You can tell that he’s giving you all the control—punishing you to be the one to have to pull away first because if it were up to Mike he would scoop you in and keep you here like this forever if he could. If you’d let him.

Pulling away from the longing, awaited kiss leaves you hungry still. A pathetic moan escapes Mike’s lips when you pull away, as if you’ve just put a dagger through his already maimed heart. You clutch onto his shirt now, looking at his eyes that are growing bigger, sadder.

“No tears this time,” you say, more to yourself, but when you say it a single tear rolls down your cheek. You let out a chuckle, Mike smiles a little too sad for your liking, wiping the tear away with his thumb. But you can feel that threatening knot in your throat. You bury your face into Mike’s chest, his hand going to the back of your head, softly stroking your hair.

You cry into his chest, grasping desperately onto his shirt. Both of you had a strong feeling this would be the last time you would see each other for a while. You sob into his chest, staining his grey shirt with your tears. You were mourning someone who was alive. You felt your body warm up with anger, not at anyone specifically, but because this would always be your ending, the time just never right.

Mike forces himself to look up at the ceiling, forcing back tears. He continues to stroke your hair, letting you cry into his shirt. When you’ve calmed down, he kisses the top of your head before pulling you back to look at you once more.

“We’ll be okay,” he hears himself say.

You nod, wanting to believe him, but by the look on his face he doesn’t seem to believe himself. “Okay,” you say, “I’ll go.”

His hands still cradle your face carefully. “And I’ll stay.” He whispers, a tear escaping.

You grasp his face, a little less gentle than he’s been with you. You pull him closer to you, planting a chaste kiss on his cheek. And then another. And another. And several more. When you’re done you take notice of his curls again, you move up to tangle them in between your fingers, tugging at them just slightly. It makes Mike smile.

“I keep them for you now,” he mumbles. “I know how much you used to love them.”

“I still do.” You whisper, tugging at them one last time before letting them go. You move towards the front door which isn't too far from the dining table and Mike follows.

He grabs your arm before you can open the front door. He turns you to face him, his hands moving up to cradle your face, planting a long, delicate kiss on your forehead. A goodbye kiss. A promising kiss that this doesn’t have to be the last. A kiss that speaks more than he does, telling you he’s always here for you to come back to him. He’ll wait.

[mcdonaldsplayground]

| actually the worst | part 5

ao’nung x f!reader

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | bonus part

summary: it’s been a month and you’re still fuming over what ao’nung did to lo’ak. however, when kiri asks you to hear him out, you find it easier to forgive him than you thought. a trip to the cove of ancestors seems to solidify the newly restored friendship and also encourages a new aspect of your relationship that you weren’t expecting. when things inevitably go wrong at the spirit tree, ao’nung plays a surprisingly strong role in getting you through the traumatic events of the night.

includes: enemies to lovers, teasing, swearing, mildly suggestive remarks, mentions of seizure/death, ao'nung being... a sweetheart?🫢

word count: 4.3k

a/n: oh my god i am so sorry this took me forever to write! the past few days have just been so busy, but it's finally done😮‍💨 i'm thinking one, maaaaybe two more parts depending on what i can come up with for part 6:)

Okay, so maybe you did like him. A little. Like a minuscule amount. It was microscopic, really.

You had spent the past month fervently denying it anytime your siblings poked fun at you or when you found yourself thinking about it. However, a few days ago you were sitting on the beach, watching your siblings fool around with the Metkayina kids when you realized you had been staring at Ao’nung for an embarrassingly long time. You hadn’t spoken a word to him since the Lo’ak incident, but you’d been staring practically whenever you thought it was safe to do so. Sometimes you thought about everything you disliked about him and fantasized about punching him. Most of the time you were fantasizing about- well…

The point was that you finally decided you couldn’t deny your attraction to him any longer. But that didn’t mean you were about to let anyone else know that. Especially not him.

“[Y/N], are you coming?” Kiri’s head poked into the marui. You stopped braiding the bracelet you were working on, quickly hiding it behind your back as it was going to be a gift for Kiri’s birthday in a few days. Technically it would be your birthday too, but you preferred to celebrate her.

“Where are you going?” You asked excitedly, starting to ready yourself for what you assumed was going to be one of your nightly explorations of the island.

“Tsireya is taking us to the spirit tree!” Kiri exclaimed, clearly more than happy to be going.

“Oh…” You couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed. You certainly wanted a chance to finally see the spirit tree of the Metkayina, something you sorely missed about home. However, you knew who would be tagging along on the journey and it was not someone you wanted to be around. “Maybe just go without me.” You mumbled.

“Nonsense, you need to go. It is important!” Your mother stood from her spot next to your dad as they finished eating their dinner together. She squatted down next you, placing a comforting hand on your leg. “You have been sulking around for many days, [Y/N]. I think it will be good for you to go with your friends.” Her smile was kind, reassuring. It’s not like you could tell her why you really didn’t want to go.

“Alright.” You caved, mustering a small smile for Neytiri before you followed Kiri out the door. She was practically skipping.

“Maybe you should make up with Ao’nung, tonight.” She said airily, and you choked on your own spit.

“W-what?” Kiri barked out a laugh, shaking her head.

“Relax. I said make up. Not make out.” Her eyes danced with laughter as you tried to ignore your heated cheeks. Even she, your trusted twin, had not been able to resist teasing you about the bane of your existence.

“Either way, it’s not gonna happen, Ki.” You pursed your lips. She smiled, looping her arm through yours.

“He’s not so bad anymore.” She was no longer teasing, but you snorted out a laugh anyway. “I’m being serious! I still don’t like him much, but you have to admit that he’s been incredibly civil lately.” She was right, of course. The Metkayina boy was still a snarky moron, but he’d actually been getting along with everyone. He’d even attempted to apologize to you, but you were making it incredibly difficult by avoiding and outright ignoring him. “Just give him a chance to talk to you, okay? You don’t have to forgive him if you don’t want to.”

“Fine,” You sighed, wishing anyone but Kiri had asked you this favour. “Though I think cutting my own leg off would be preferable to listening to him speak.”

“Listening to who speak?” You shouldn’t have been surprised that he had snuck up on you yet again. It was becoming ritual at this point.

“Is nothing I say ever private to you?” You whipped around, meeting those shining blue eyes. It was the first time you had made real eye contact with him in weeks.

“I’m going to go meet the others. I’ll let them know you guys are on the way.” Kiri whispered, giving your arm a reassuring squeeze before she took off in the direction of the beach. You swear you saw her grinning.

“So you’re talking to me now, forest girl?” Ao’nung’s deep voice was neutral, but his small smirk betrayed his satisfaction.

“Don’t get your panties in a twist. It’s not exactly my choice.” You scoffed, finding a small bit of amusement in the fact that Ao’nung didn’t know what panties were. You could see him fighting the urge to ask.

“I suppose you’re expecting me to apologize.” He finally said, looking incredibly uncomfortable. It was clear that he didn’t make apologies often.

“I suppose I am.” You echoed, crossing your arms.

“I’m sorry.” He bit out. You blinked, waiting for him to continue. The soft chirping of insects and the distant rush of the shoreline were the only sounds as the two of you stood, awkwardly staring. When it became clear that he didn’t plan on saying anything else, you let out a short, bitter laugh.

“You can’t be serious.” You turned to go, thinking about what a waste of time that was. However, you only made it about two steps before a callused but incredibly gentle hand closed around your arm, tugging you back.

“Wait.” He breathed, sighing softly. You turned slowly back to face him.

“I really am sorry, [Y/N].” You stilled at the sound of your name passing his lips. You couldn’t think of a time when he had actually said it. It was always forest girl, or freak. The way your name sounded coming from him was intriguing. He said it like a prayer. Like you were something to be worshipped. It made it difficult to pay attention to the rest of his apology.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me.” He frowned, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t deserve it, honestly. But I just feel really desperate for you to know that I learned my lesson that night. I kept on imagining what could have happened, how it could have turned out. I- I have nightmares about it still,” He paused briefly, looking past you for a moment as if seeing something you weren’t. Your heart clenched. “I’ve spent my whole life trying to impress people. Trying to be funny and unbothered and worthy of being the future Olo’eyktan. I don’t know when that made me into a monster, but I don’t want to be that anymore.” He swallowed deeply, nervously shuffling from foot to foot while avoiding your eyes. The sight was unbearable.

Without thinking, you stepped closer, reaching up to place your hand on his cheek. Startled, he looked up from the ground, meeting your gaze.

“I forgive you, Ao’nung.” Your words were almost inaudible, but you felt him shiver slightly beneath your touch. Slowly, his hand extended out to rest on your waist, inching the two of you closer than ever. His breathing was slow and methodic and you instinctively reached up, placing a hand over his rapid heartbeat, completely unable to look anywhere but his blown pupils. Your mind felt impossibly slow, barely registering anything other than Ao’nung’s grip on your waist and the fire it was spreading all along your body. It was when his lips brushed ever so lightly across yours- so excruciatingly close to being a kiss- that you came rushing back to reality.

“Jesus christ, I’m sorry…” You took a faltering step back, shivering at the loss of contact when Ao’nung’s hands fell away from you. “I- That-” You stumbled over your words, so utterly embarrassed that you couldn’t think properly.

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed…” He shook his head, stepping back a bit.

“I mean- I’m just- I need some, like, some time.” You finally got out the words, hoping you weren’t sounding like a jerk. “You did almost kill my brother, after all.” A breathy laugh escaped your lips, but you instantly regret your words when you realized how terrible they sounded. However, they rang somewhat true. It seemed ridiculous to be macking on the boy immediately after he apologized. You didn’t want to be that desperate.

“So… can we go back to how things were, then?” He asked, his signature smirk playing at his lips. Relief flooded you as you processed his words, glad to be offered a way out of the mess you had just created.

“I don’t know,” You shrugged. “Are you willing to go back to getting your ego demolished by me?” You quirked and eyebrow, earning a scoff from him.

“You wish, freak.” He suddenly turned, starting toward the beach. “Better catch up before everyone leaves without us!”

You huffed, jogging to match to his long strides. “Maybe I can convince them to leave you behind.”

No one said a thing when the two of you strolled up to the water together, looking what you assumed was at least somewhat amicable. Your friends and siblings just shared quick, knowing looks before you all mounted your ilus and started off for the cove of ancestors.

Ao’nung rode beside you throughout most of the journey, and the two of you traded sarcastic remarks and snide comments, seemingly making up for lost time. It felt good, almost normal again, and you found yourself thinking that maybe a friendship with the infuriating boy was actually possible.

"We're here!" Tsireya finally called out, slowing down to allow everyone else to catch up and take in the surroundings. It was truly an incredible sight, with the soft glow from the underwater bioluminescence and lush green vegetation, all surrounded by the jutting silhouette of large curved rocks and smaller suspended chunks of land. You glanced around at the faintly illuminated faces of your companions and a swell of contentment filled your chest. You missed your home in the forest deeply, but you felt that the ocean and its islands had rightfully won a place in your heart, and that gaping wound left by your grief was beginning to hurt a lot less.

"So beautiful." You breathed.

"Yes." Ao'nung agreed, and you turned to where he was floating, already staring at you. You flushed slightly under his gaze, wondering how long he had been focused on you.

"I think you have some drool on your chin." You quipped, and he quickly brought his hand up to his face, looking slightly alarmed. Seconds later, he caught on. His face twisted into that of annoyed amusement. The two of you had never entered this territory of playful flirting before, but he seemed game.

"Very funny, forest girl," He simpered. "And pretty bold coming from someone who's been eye-fucking me for the past month."

Your jaw slackened as everyone else burst out laughing, including Kiri, who you shot a betrayed look.

"What does that mean?" Tuk piped up from her spot on Neteyam's ilu, looking confused. It seemed most of you had forgotten she was there.

"Oh shit- I mean, it's nothing, Tuk." Ao'nung quickly backtracked, earning a threatening glare from Neteyam and another round of muffled laughs from everyone else. Even you could barely hold yourself together.

"Just don't repeat that to mom and dad." Neteyam sighed, shaking his head.

"Why don't we go to the spirit tree now?" Tsireya spoke up, still smiling. Thankfully, everyone nodded and started dismounting into the water. You swam closer to Ao'nung, lightly smacking his arm.

"Nice going, genius." You snickered and the colour in his cheeks deepened.

"Shut it." He rolled his eyes at your continued laughter, though a smile was creeping onto his lips. Eventually, he was full-on grinning, the look so genuine that it was almost shocking. The only two expressions he ever seemed to make were akin to scowling or smirking. This was something entirely new. You realized your gaze had become fixed on the curve of his lips and blushed.

"Who's drooling now?" Ao'nung laughed, settling back into his signature taunting smirk. You decided not to let an opportunity pass you by.

"Don't get any ideas, freak." You shrugged. "I was just thinking that I've never seen you smile like that." Your heart sped up as you finished your sentence.

"Like what?"

"Well... like you're actually happy. You usually just look like an asshole with a debilitating god complex." You had to round things out with an insult, thinking you were inflating his ego a little too much. He just smiled and shook his head, finally turning to swim after the others.

"If you didn't hate me so much I'd think you were in love with me." He said before he dove under the water, heading for the spirit tree.

"If you didn't act like such a skxawng then maybe I would be..." You mumbled, diving under too as you became consumed by your own thoughts. Less than an hour ago the two of you had been seconds away from kissing, but you couldn't seem to let yourself go through with it, like it was somehow offensive to the very core of your being, despite your growing feelings. So why, after such a rejection, were you unrelentingly teasing and flirting?

You had only been attempting to return to what was normal- known territory- between you and Ao'nung. Teasing each other was like breathing. But now that you understood your feelings for him, it was fun to flirt a little bit, especially because you had convinced yourself it was a harmless action, more of a game than anything else. Because you couldn't help but fear that's just what you were to him: a game to be played and won.

So that's how it would be, you decided. You would be happy to oblige in this self-indulgent game so long as it never became more. He was still the bane of your existence, after all.

Connecting to the tree brought you back home both figuratively and literally. The tree of souls flashed in your memory, and with it a thousand little reminders of the life you had left behind. The first time you went hunting with your father, exploring the forest as a child with Kiri, playfully fighting with Lo'ak and Spider, bonding with your ikran, sleeping next to your family and breathing as the forest breathed with you. All of these experiences were collected in your mind like beautiful, treasured shells. It was was wonderful to have them on display.

You eventually ended up in a memory that you didn't even know you had, blinking as you trekked along one of the thick vines that connected the hallelujah mountains together. You harbored many memories like this, certainly, but this specific one felt different somehow. You strained to think of when this had taken place.

"Hurry up, slow poke!" You found yourself calling out, a laugh bubbling from your chest when someone groaned behind you. You turned your head and struggled to make sense of your companion.

"When you said you were going to show me your home, this is not what I pictured us doing." Ao'nung frowned, glancing warily over the side of the vine you both walked upon.

"No? What exactly were you picturing, then, Nung?" You queried and Ao'nung's lips split into what you could only describe as a suggestive grin. Since when the hell did you call him that? Everything about this was so strange to you. It was clearly not one of your memories at all.

"Oh, you know, maybe a little less dangerous hiking and a little more finding a secluded spot to-"

"Oh my Eywa!" You- or at least this alternate version of you- yelped, shaking your head. "Just keep walking, you sick bastard."

"Just putting ideas out there.." He chuckled, suddenly pushing forward to catch up to you. He slung his arm around your waist, pulling you into him like it was the most natural action in the world. You tried to stop alternate you from leaning into his touch, to no avail.

You leaned in closer, standing on your tiptoes to whisper into his ear. "You're so desperate, Ao'nung." He shivered.

"Only for you, forest girl."

You ripped your queue away from the tree, breathing heavily as you desperately tried to work through whatever that was. You had never experienced anything like it before, even when you connected to the tree of souls back home. It scared you.

When you had calmed yourself a little, you looked around at the others, most of whom were still connected peacefully. Ironically, only Ao'nung seemed to be finished as well, his eyes settled on you through the layers of glowing fronds from the tree. He gave you a questioning look, sending you briefly back to your supposed trek through the mountains with him. Your cheeks burned, wishing you could just forget about it entirely. Ao'nung opened his mouth to speak, but didn't get the chance when the fronds around you suddenly began flashing and pulsing.

You snapped your head around, trying to find the source of the change when your searching eyes landed on your twin. Her body was impossibly rigid, her neck bent back as she shook somewhat violently. You immediately dove toward her, disconnecting her queue from the tree as Neteyam swam up and grabbed her, pulling her upwards. You grasped onto her stiff hand, trying to still the tremors that had her fingers twitching. You briefly registered Ao'nung on the other side of her, helping Neteyam swim her to the surface.

When you all burst through the water, panting, you wasted no time in lifting Kiri onto the back of Neteyam's ilu.

"Is she breathing? Is she breathing?" Rotxo asked worriedly, and you mentally thanked him for saying what was on your mind. You couldn't seem to speak as your throat constricted with fear.

Neteyam hopped up beside Kiri and blew a few breaths into her lungs, thankfully getting her chest moving on its own again.

"Let's, go! We have to take her back!" Lo'ak yelled, urging Neteyam forward. As soon as he took off, your hand slipped out of Kiri's, leaving you even more afraid than before. Your own body was stiff, your mind running through a thousand thoughts a second. Everyone around you was mounting their ilus and taking off toward home, but you were panicking too much to even keep yourself properly afloat. Water entered your throat as you hyperventilated, your head beginning to feel extremely light.

"[Y/N]!" Ao'nung's voice sounded distant, but he was somehow directly beside you in the water, offering a hand. You grasped onto it and he pulled you quickly up next to him like you weighed nothing at all. "Just hold on, okay?" He said directly into your ear, his tone urgent but kind. Since you were in front of him, there was nothing much to grab onto except for the arm that was gripping the ilu's saddle. Evidently, that did not seem to be enough for him because as you went speeding along the water, he wrapped his free arm protectively around your waist, pulling you flush against his chest.

The ride back felt like mere minutes, thankfully, but Neteyam and Kiri were nowhere to be seen along the shoreline when you arrived. You hoped that meant they were already inside your marui and getting help.

You were so intent upon getting to Kiri quickly that you stumbled getting off of the ilu, your shaking legs nearly buckling before Ao'nung was there again, grasping onto your arm to steady you. When you found your balance once again, he let go, but stayed close behind as the two of you ran for your marui pod.

"Kiri!" You cried as you approached, catching a glimpse of her lying on the floor of the pod. There were many people scurrying around her, trying to figure out what was wrong, but they kindly made room for you to kneel beside her, taking her hand in yours once again.

"What is the matter?" You looked up frantically, searching the faces of anyone close by in hopes that they had an answer. Most of them looked just as clueless and frightened as you, including your parents. Only Ronal seemed somewhat calm, examining Kiri from her other side. You caught her eyes and a look of pity passed over her features.

"I do not know yet what is afflicting her, child." Ronal said calmly, but you grimaced at her words, your breaths once again starting to come out short and fast. "But she is stable, now. She is asleep. I believe it is her body trying to recover." You relaxed some upon hearing 'recover', but the incident was still fresh and playing over and over through your mind. You just wanted Kiri to open her eyes, to prove to you that you had not lost her.

"Just fix it!" You knew it was unfair to yell and get mad at everyone who was just trying to help, but you didn't know what else to do. You jumped a little when a warm hand rested on your shoulder from behind. Your mother's eyes were filled with worry, but she spoke gently.

"Leave us to help Kiri, [Y/N]. The Tsahìk needs space to work, my daughter." She urged kindly, gently tugging your elbow to pull you up. You reluctantly released Kiri's hand, still breathing hard. Not knowing where to go, you awkwardly spun on your heel, looking around for a better place to stand. Ao'nung caught your eye from where he stood in the doorway and gestured for you to follow him outside. You didn't really want to go far from Kiri, but the rational part of you knew it would be best, so you obliged. As soon as you stepped out the door, Ao'nung grabbed your hand, guiding you away from your marui and down the short path to the beach. You stopped when you reached the sand, the two of you just standing and staring out into the vast stretch of water. Something about it seemed to snap the last little bit of restraint in you, and you began to whimper, a fresh round of burning tears making their way down your cheeks. Your whimpers turned into loud cries mixed with hyperventilating as you lost all control of yourself. You were so far gone that you didn't even question it when Ao'nung suddenly pulled you into his arms, folding them loosely around you, as if unsure of himself. The comfort of it felt so insanely good that you pressed into him further, stretching a bit to wrap your arms around his neck. He took that as a good sign and pulled his arms tighter, forcing your head to rest on his chest as you cried.

"She will be alright. Eywa will protect her." He whispered to you, his thumbs drawing comforting circles along your back. He held you that way for a long time, not once loosening his grip on you even as you began to calm, sniffling for a bit before eventually growing silent. Your breathing fell into a slow, methodic rhythm that was somewhat in tune with the strong and steady heartbeat you could hear through Ao'nung's chest. Your eyes fluttered shut, just allowing yourself to feel the body against yours. The strength of the arms holding you in place. The smooth skin beneath your cheek. The pleasant warmth of the fingers trailing across your back. You sighed heavily, releasing any leftover tension that you had been holding in your chest.

"Don't think this means I like you." You finally said, wanting to distract yourself from thinking about your sister and spiraling again. A reprieve from the situation was necessary, at least for a little while.

Ao'nung chuckled, the sound rumbling through his chest. "Of course not." He said. "I would never be so bold."

"How come you're always so warm?" You questioned, enjoying as the heat of his touch bled into your skin.

"It's obviously because of my ridiculous good looks." You could hear the smirk in his words, and you took that as your signal to finally pull away from him, immediately regretting the loss of contact.

"What does that have to do with it?" You raised an eyebrow, skeptical, but Ao'nung just shrugged.

"Nothing. But you just admitted that I'm good looking." His smile was infuriatingly wide. You scoffed.

"I most definitely did not, skxawng. You're delusional."

"Mm, I don't think so." He said, shifting to sit down in the sand, facing the water. You followed, sitting close enough that your leg was pressed against his. Neither of you seemed to care to move away to a more appropriate distance. "C'mon, just admit that you think I'm handsome!" He nudged you with his shoulder, earning a glare from you.

"Not gonna happen, fish lips."

He gasped dramatically, throwing a hand to his chest. "I'm wounded!"

"Aw, poor baby." You mocked, jutting out your bottom lip into a pout.

"Well now you're just being rude." He deadpanned. You laughed.

"You really want me to give you a compliment?" You finally asked, and he perked up, eyes shining as he nodded.

"Alright," You sighed. "Your face is actually kind of handsome," Ao'nung opened his mouth to agree. "When your stupidity isn't screwing it up." You couldn't help but immediately burst out laughing, especially as the conceited smugness on his face twisted into a scowl.

"You're the meanest woman I've ever met." He grumbled, shaking his head.

"That's why you like me." You grinned.

"It's definitely not."

"Oh, but you admit that you do like me?"

"That's not what I said."

"Sounds like it."

"Sounds like you need to shut up."

taglist:

@luvlykrispy @foreverfolkloregirly @findingourtreasure @tiddybiddy @nao-cchi @goodiesinthecloset21 @elegantkidfansoul @azaleaniath @cloakedvengeance @philiasoul @aonungmybf @joshuahongsfuturewife @shartnart1 @ayanamire @tireytesulineytiriite @bigmama123 @fucksnow @seashelldom @melsunshine @donaldsmac @littlethingsinlife @kainari144 @thesheelfsworld @in-luvais @perseny @minkyungseokie @acrobatcheeks @theblaxkbird @sakura-onesan @gengarmylove

[whosscruffylooking]

The Beginning of Us Part 2 (Joel Miller x Fem! Reader)

A/N: Here is part 2! Next chapter brings the ultimate heartbreaks, so I will be spending a little extra time on it. Also, if anyone wants to be added to the tag list for this series please let me know!

Series Masterlist

Warnings! Spoilers for TLOU Episode 1, mentions of death, mention of panic attack, angst.

Word Count: 3.9k

»»————-　♡　————-««

*September 26, 2003* ~Later That Evening~ "So, the answer would be 783?" Sarah appears unsure. You give her a reassuring nod, "Exactly. Great job. You know, as much as I dread going to work every day, I'm so glad I don't have to do homework anymore." The two of you are sitting on her bed agonizing over her algebra homework.

As she piles up all of her papers into her folder, you wander around her room, examining all of the little touches that make the room hers. There is a simple, yet strong feminine touch to her room. A clear representation of the latest teen trends, and yet it is all a reflection of her youthful vibrance.

The poster in the corner of the room catches your eye, "You really do love Halican Drops huh?" "It's my dream to see them in concert one day," she says with a sparkle in her eye. "I think we should go sometime," you wink at her.

She jumps off of her bed, "Are you serious?"

"Yeah, I saw them once live and they are amazing. It would be even more fun to go with another fellow superfan."

Her enthusiastic expression turns to a more solemn one. Extending your arm out to her you bring her back over to the bed to sit down, "What's wrong Sarah?"

She pauses and takes a deep breath, "My dad is a good man...but he's been through a lot. He has been hurt a lot. Uncle Tommy has tried to get him to date, but nothing ever comes of it. That's why I know you are different."

"W-what?" Your brain stutters for a moment, struggling to process what is happening.

"I know you slept over last night. And before you freak out about that, I just want you to know that it makes me happy to see my dad as optimistic as he's been. He's come out of his shell again. I swear to God everything we talk about somehow comes full circle back to you too. The other day I said I want to go to Disney World and he told me how you have a baby picture of yourself with Mickey Mouse on your fridge. That was my first signal that my suspicions have been accurate."

Leaning forward, you take her hands into yours once more, "Sarah...if any of this makes you uncomfortable at all please tell me. I would never want to overstep or make you feel like-"

"Hey hey hey, I'm so happy about this. Since you moved in a year ago, you've slowly brought my dad back to me. I can see the way he looks at you, it's kind of how he looks at me...but different."

Tightening your grasp around her hands, you draw her into a hug. She settles into your embrace and whispers, "Just don't hurt him." Kissing the top of her head you quietly express, "I'll keep him safe I promise."

»»————- ♡ ————-«« The rest of the night is spent waiting on Joel to get home. You and Sarah intensely watched the clock as the hours passed by, wondering when he'd get back.

Finally, the door-knob to the front door begins to shake and you can hear Joel mutter a curse word when he realizes it's locked. "Well, you locked the door for once, good job," he acknowledges Sarah once inside. "That's because I made her," you stare down at her. Nothing can hide the disappointment on her face. She'd wanted so badly to spend the day celebrating her dad, and nothing had gone according to plan.

The young girl kindly reprimands her father for coming home past the time he'd promised AND for forgetting to bring home a cake, she makes him swear to make up for it tomorrow. Eager to move past the awkwardness and save Joel a little embarrassment, you signal to Sarah to give him his watch.

"Fixed it for you," her hopeful eyes look to his in search of commendation and gratitude. He tricks her into thinking that the watch wasn't properly fixed and you watch the two of them with such admiration, for the beautiful bond they have. The ability to have a deep father, daughter relationship and yet be each other's best friends was so endearing. You never want to come between them, but you'd be honored to have a front-row seat to their little family unit.

"Where'd you get the money for this?" He inquires.

"Drugs. I sell hardcore drugs," she says in all seriousness.

You and Joel laugh in unison, your eyes meeting briefly before turning your attention back to his daughter.

"Actually," she rests her head on your shoulder, "Y/N helped."

There is a pleased look in his eye, as his gaze meets yours. It's as if some element of peace washed over him and pure contentment settled into his rough features. It's been years since a woman showed him this much kindness, and you'll be damned if that job ever goes to someone else. »»————- ♡ ————-«« Sarah had fallen asleep to a movie, her head laying in Joel's lap. The two of you kept stealing glances throughout the movie. You feel his fingertips graze your shoulder and you turn to him, resting your head on the back of the sofa.

"Hi Joel," your pupils dilate.

"Hi beautiful," his eyes twinkle, fixated on studying every detail of your face.  

Very quickly, you learn that your conversations do not need words to feel meaningful. The tilts of your heads, the shrugs of your shoulders, the serene sighs of surrender when you feel completely at ease with one another. Both of you are soothed by each other's presence and it is evident even in the voids of quietness. In those moments you can fully savor the company of the other and thrive off of the respect and admiration that radiates from you. There is a feeling of safety and confidence that stays between you and has existed since the beginning of your friendship.

The sharp ringing of the phone snaps you both back to reality. He answers it. You can't make out the words but can tell it is Tommy on the other line. With a heavy sigh, Joel falls back against the couch in defeat.

Damn it Tommy. You got yourself locked up again, didn't you?

Joel turns to you, jaw clenched with annoyance, forehead furrowed in disappointment. He wants to stay here with you a little while longer.

You offer to remain at the house and make sure Sarah is taken care of while he picks up Tommy. He takes her upstairs to tuck her into her bed. Dragging himself back downstairs, he rolls his neck from one side to the other in an endeavor to relieve the kinks. Stifling a yawn, you meet him halfway in the living room.

"We'll be here when you get back."

Although his expression was pensive, it eases slightly as you pull him out of his thoughts and back into the present with you.

"Thank you for staying with Sarah. Hell, sleeping over two nights in a row...things are getting serious." He gives you a goofy smile.

"Go!" You let out a short laugh and shove him out the front door. »»————- ♡ ————-«« As the hours rolled by, your sense of urgency grew. Joel should have been back with Tommy by now. Eager to distract yourself you turn on the television and aimlessly channel surf until you discover a movie that piques your interest. Another hour of watching the front door, willing Joel and Tommy to walk through it, passes by.

Drowsiness begins to overtake you. You take your eyes off of the television screen not wanting to exert any more effort into looking at it. Each muscle in your body begins to release the tension of the day, one by one as you settle onto the couch. The faint buzz of the television lulls you to the edge of sleep in mere moments.

Jolted awake by the deafening rumble of helicopters passing overhead, you fight off the dream that is still clouding your mind. Everything from your eyelashes to your feet feels heavy. Resting your eyes once more, you grant yourself another moment to enjoy the void of unconsciousness.

That moment is interrupted by Sarah shaking you awake.

"Y/N, what's going on? I think I can see explosions outside..."

Groggily sitting up, your vision finally focuses on the TV just past Sarah. The channel that was airing a movie not too long ago is now distorted with static. Sarah picks up the remote and changes the channel.

"STAY INDOORS! Law enforcement and emergency services are in the area and will be in contact with further instructions."

"What the f-"

Your attention shifts from the national alert to the sound of scratching at the window. The Adler's dog is loose and attempting to get into the house.

Okay, this night CANNOT get any stranger.

"It's Mercy! We need to see if he's okay," Sarah rushes to the door. You grab her arm, "Uh, I don't think that's a good idea. I think we need to stay inside right now and keep the doors locked."

"But he never gets loose. What if something is wrong with the Adlers?"

Suppressing the dread that is developing rapidly within you, you swallow your fear for Sarah's sake. You have to keep things calm and safe for her.

"Alright," you smooth your hand over her hair, "I'm gonna go over to my house and grab my nursing kit okay? Let me go check on them, but you do not, and I am so serious right now....do NOT leave this house by any means. Understand?"

She was too frightened to even lift her head, rather she stared out the window at the distant flares of light coming from the city.

You kneel to her level and hold her for a moment, "Everything is going to be alright okay?"

"Can I see if Mercy is okay?"

Conceding, you cautiously open the door and allow Sarah to clutch onto the dog. "Remember Sarah, do not leave the house."

Your pulse beats in your ears, as you turn to face your house. Although your mind is intent on making the trek across the street, it is as if your feet are cemented to the ground.

You tell yourself that being a little nervous is a completely normal reaction to what is going on. But that's just it, what IS going on?

God Joel, where the hell are you?

»»————- ♡ ————-««

"Damn it Tommy can you drive any faster?"

Tommy's grip on the wheel tightens, finding an odd comfort in the grooves between his fingers.

"Joel, I am going as fast as I can okay? They will be fine. Sarah is a smart girl and she has Y/N who won't let anything bad happen to them."

Joel could not wrap his mind around any of the events that transpired once he left his home to go get Tommy. One second he was in the comfort of his living room, within arms reach of the woman he'd just spent the most incredible night with. And his daughter, the embodiment of his heart and soul, was safe asleep on his lap. Next thing he knows, he and Tommy are being chased by a stampede of rabid-like inmates at the Travis County Jail. He could no longer restrain the tremors in his hands, shaking in an irregular rhythm.

"You really care about this girl don't you," Tommy's voice manages to break through the wall of thoughts blockading Joel from thinking clearly.

Recalling the night before, he is transported back to the moment when you pulled his shirt over his head and started grazing your hands across his chest, down the ridge in between his abs. It was a sensory overload, every nerve ending in his body tingled with anticipation. The two of you collapsed onto his bed, your bodies trembling as you bonded with every motion, each passionate touch leaving a flaming sensation on your skin. Your hearts raced in tempo with one another, like a symphony crescendoing to its epic finale.

"I do. This is the only time since Sarah's mom left that I've felt alive. Young again, invincible." Joel has never felt so certain in his life about someone, not even his ex-wife. Being with you is effortless. In your presence, he feels weightless. Like a drug, you drew him in slowly, tempting his every desire. At first, he took you in, little by little. And without detection, he became addicted. »»————- ♡ ————-«« Emerging from your home, nursing kit in hand, you prepare yourself for whatever you might face at the Adler's home. Surely it is nothing too grave, and yet you can't help but wonder why her kids didn't come to get you or call 911 if something happened to Nana?

Passing Joel's house, panic passes over you, causing the fine hairs on the back of your neck to rise. The front door is still open. Your mind races faster than your feet as you rush into the house. The endless possibilities as to what could've happened to her plague you.

You are confident that if anything happens to Sarah, Joel will strangle you with his bare hands...and not in a pleasurable way. Even if you told that stubborn girl not to move a finger from where you left her. She reminds you so much of yourself though. Curiosity can be so enticing at times that it blinds a person. Especially someone with as honorable of a heart as Sarah's.

"Sarah!" You frantically call out in each room.

Where are she and that damn dog?

Joel, hurry up. Please.

After surveying the entirety of the house to no avail, your chest tightens, and your lungs feel as though they have been wrung out of oxygen. Unsure of whether or not your lack of oxygen is due to the running or the panic attack creeping up on you, you take a moment to gather your thoughts. Mind over matter. Where would she go?

The dog. The damn dog. She's at the Adler's.

The next few seconds are a blur. You are uncertain how you got to the Adler's doorstep so swiftly. It felt like you were practically flying. Similar to Joel's home, the front door is open.

This girl needs to learn how to not only lock doors but actually CLOSE them.

A sickening sensation flares through your body as you peer into the still home. There go the hairs on the back of your neck again, but this time, the tingling sensation snakes down your spine and arms too.  Instinctually, you know not to go in there. But, Sarah is in there and she matters more than any gut feeling or self-preservation right now.  

"Sarah?"

Apprehensively, you venture deeper into the house. That's when you lay eyes on her, frozen in the kitchen. Unclear as to what she is fixated on, you join her in the doorway. That's when you see it. A trail of blood leads directly to Mr. Adler, his mouth agape and his limbs contorting. At first, the sight does not phase you. As a nurse working in an emergency room, you handle bloody wounds day in and day out. It's not until you look closely at where the blood is coming from that your fears reignite.

Is that...a bite wound?

A guttural noise captures your attention. Following Sarah's line of sight, terror sucks the very breath from your lungs. There is Nana, atop Mrs. Adler. Another river of blood floods from the daughter-in-law's neck.

Nana's raspy breathing slows to a more even tempo as she raises her eyes toward you. Vine-like appendages protrude from her mouth, attaching themselves to Connie's neck. The drumming of your heart, deafening and irregular, obscures your mind with fear.

Fight? Or flight? First, get Sarah as far away as possible.

Latching onto Sarah's arm, you tug her behind you.

One word. "Run."

Keeping your eyes on the gasping old woman, you ready yourself to prevent her from reaching Sarah at all costs. You listen intently for Sarah's footsteps pounding out of the house until you are positive she's made it outside.

You can feel the flight responses taking over your body, flooding you with increased adrenaline.

Nana stumbles to her feet as she releases a splintering screech. That is when the adrenaline ceases full control over your body, sending you hurdling towards the front door. Whatever creature has possessed the once docile elderly lady, is now hot on your heels. Her bone-chilling snarls signal you to her presence behind you.

Just as you begin to fear the worst outcome, you see him.

"Don't go," Joel's pleas echo in your mind from mere hours ago.

The thought of being wrapped up in his secure embrace once more drives you to push your legs harder.

Anguish pierces his voice as he calls out your name. Even so, it translates into a calming melody that brings some clarity to your mind.

"Get behind me..." He motions you over to Sarah.

As you hold her trembling frame, you turn back to Nana who is collapsed on the ground. Her limbs are mangled and her eyes are void of any life. Suddenly, the sharp cracking of her bones churns your stomach. Like a rabid animal, she growls and sprints toward Joel on all fours. Rising to her feet and closing in on him, she flails her arms wildly.

"What are we doing Joel!?" Tommy exclaims.

Without hesitation, Joel swings the wrench clutched in his fist and lands one solid blow to the side of the woman's head, sending her motionless body to the ground. Sarah screams and you quickly shield her from the sight of her father standing over their neighbor's corpse...or at least the shell of what she used to be.

Joel rushes to his daughter's side and caresses her cheek, looking her over to make sure she's safe and in one piece.

"You killed her," she cries in disbelief as she collapses into his arms.

He tightens his grip on her, "Baby, I'm sorry." He pulls away and stares into her eyes with strength and focus, "It's not just the Adlers. But we're gonna be brave and we're gonna get out of this."

Not just the Adlers? The helicopters flying towards the city...whatever took control of Nana did not die with her, she was merely the introduction.

Feeling lightheaded, you lean against Tommy's truck. He rushes to your side and holds you up, "You got that nursing kit of yours?"

"N-no. Inside," you point to Joel's house.

One by one, generators and streetlights begin to explode. Sparks of orange and gold, light up the sky over your neighborhood.

Joel ushers Sarah into the car and turns to face you. For a brief moment, time stands still. His pupils dilate, as he looks at you, the woman who made the future look like skies as clear as sapphire. Yet, he recognizes a shift in the atmosphere. A shared dread hanging over you like a dark, impenetrable cloud. His hands tremble, searching for yours to steady them. He twitches, his body responding to your delicate touch.

"Don't go." He implores you. His signature phrase to you. That in itself could be your new love language.

Attempting to open your mouth to speak, no words flow out. A simple nod is all you can manage. With that permission, he hurries you into the truck, meanwhile warning another one of your neighbors to stay inside and lock her door. Once Joel is inside, you lean forward and drape a reassuring hand on his shoulder. A subtle, but significant sign of solidarity. He laces his fingers with yours and holds you in place against the back of his seat.

As aggressively as Tommy floors the truck into motion, he brings it to a screeching halt. The headlights of the truck illuminate the Adlers stumbling onto the street. Their limbs are just like that of Nana's, wrenched and fidgeting.

"Get your seatbelts on," Joel declares.

Tommy warns, "Hold on..."

His foot finds its way back to the accelerator with no delay. Bracing yourself for the unthinkable you turn to Sarah, "Come here." She folds into your lap, a whimper escaping her lips. The Adlers charge at the truck simultaneously. Connie soon disappears from view as the truck plows over her and sideswipes Danny.

Closing your eyes, you do everything in your might to hold down the bile rising in your throat.

Sarah sits up and wipes a few stray tears from her eyes, "Daddy-"

"We don't know," Joel interrupts.

You shake your head in disbelief, "The Adlers, they were infected with something, some kind of parasite maybe?"

"That's what they're saying on the radio, some kind of virus," Tommy confirms.

"Are we sick?" The young girl persists.

"No. Of course not," Joel's fearful tone turns to a more frustrated one. As a father, his instinct is to protect his daughter and provide her with comfort, but he has no clue what kind of threat lies ahead and can't give her satisfying answers. You tighten your hold on his hand, and he gives you a firm squeeze.

Joel's brother slows the truck as you spot a family pulled off onto the side of the road.

"Tommy, don't," you state firmly. The family shouts after you in desperation.

"But they have a kid."

"So do we," Joel glares at Tommy.

It's officially every man for themselves. Each outsider you bring into your safety net becomes a variable. An unpredictable risk that could put you and the people you care most about in grave danger.

Beams of crimson light glow in the distance, a vast sea of unmoving taillights. Seems like everyone in Austin had the escape plan as you, sending Tommy into a frenzy.

"It's okay, just think it through, we'll think it through," Joel says in repetition, not just for Tommy, but also to ease himself.

Coming from the opposing direction, panicked vehicles race towards you, and away from the perpetual gridlock that hundreds of other cars are trapped in.

Looking out the window into the vast, empty land that stretches for miles uninterrupted, you have a plan.

"Tommy, the field. It's the perfect detour. Cut across it and we will end up on the west side."

Speedily, he veers off onto the barren land. A stampede of cars follows behind you. The collective rays of the headlights light your path to....another dead end. The highway is infested with army vehicles crawling along it.

Tommy and Joel bicker over what the next move should be. Joel opts for a small town on the north side.  

"And then what?" You interject.

Joel steadies himself against the dash, the unstable terrain tossing your bodies left and right.

"I don't know. Mexico. Just far, far as we can."

Sarah's eyes gloss over. "Maybe it's everywhere. Maybe there's nowhere to go."

"Hey, hey look at me. We are going to be fine. As long as the four of us stick together, we will be fine. There will be somewhere for us to go and find safety. I promise you, we won't let anything happen to you," you place your hand over your heart and affirm to her.

The dilemma is, you don't know if you can even accept what you promised Sarah. This isn't some influenza you can shelter in place from. The battle is against mankind's worst enemy, man. But not normal men, men being transformed into monsters.

"I-I believe you." Sarah's faith in you is unshakeable, "And I love you too Y/N."

»»————-　♡　————-««

Tag List: @midgetpottermills​ @erenswiffe​ 

[lovecla]

OCEAN EYES | connor bedard

chapter one.

➴ warnings: swearing, underage drinking.

➴ word count: 3.2k

➴ author's note: omg this is my first time actually publishing something i wrote. the things i do for you, connor bedard. hope u like it <3

“SOMETHING tells me I shouldn’t be surprised to see you like this, but I still am.” You hear his voice before you can actually see him, which makes you wipe your tears fast and sigh loudly.

A girl can’t cry to her favorite Marvel movie anymore.

“You should try minding your own business. It’s super fun,” you say, putting the bowl of popcorn down and pausing the movie.

“Why would I even do that? Minding yours is way funnier.” Alex says, putting his luggage on the floor and sitting right beside you. You fight the urge to hug him tightly just because you don’t want to admit you’ve missed him a lot.

“What are you even doing here?”

He scoffs. “Last time I checked, this was my house.”

“You know what I mean,” you roll your eyes. “What are you doing here? You weren’t supposed to be back in Illinois until tomorrow evening.”

“Well, after yesterday’s W, we thought it’d be great to be back earlier,” he grinned and you sighed, again. You knew what that meant.

Winning equals partying in Hockey world and usually, the party happened at Alex’s house since he had a big ass house, no wife, no parents, no kids. Just an eighteen year old sister living with him before moving to her own apartment.

Having a somewhat famous brother wasn’t exactly in your to-do list but here we are. After Alex joined the Blackhawks, everything went upside down in the best way possible. For him, you mean.

For you and my parents it meant going to every game, every party, every important dinner. And even though you’re not complaining at all, it was so much in such little time. So you’re still getting used to it.

But Alex won’t make it any easier. Every time they win and come back home, it’s a party. Your parents stopped showing up after the first one— they opened the door of the guest room (where they were staying) to find Donato fucking some random girl. It wasn’t exactly his best moment, you’ll give him that.

“What time does it start?” You ask, starting your movie again.

“Eight p.m. sharp. Bedsy will be here so you can be weird together or whatever y’all teenagers do.”

“You’re just five years older than me, dumbass. Just because you bought your own mansion at twenty-two, doesn’t mean that you’re that old.”

“Whatever. The point here is: y’all weird.”

As much as you’d like to prove him otherwise, he isn’t one hundred percent wrong.

You and Connor met two years ago, when he and Madi were still living in Sweden. Despite what everyone thinks, some NHL agents already had their eyes on Connor, so they’d casually invite him (and he always brought Madi with him) to games, including the games your brother would play.

You befriended his sister quickly because, hello, she’s just the best human being in the entire world (hopes Chloe doesn’t hear you) and suddenly, going to his games wasn’t that bad anymore.

One day, Madi couldn’t go to one of the games, so when you went to chat with her, you just found Connor, chilling by himself.

“Hum, hi?” You remember saying, very embarrassed and awkward. You weren’t afraid of him, you had spoken to him before and he is friendly, despite what everyone else seems to think. He’s just. Quiet.

“Hi, Ellie,” he answered, taking his eyes off the rink for once. His face was like always: expressionless. “Madi couldn’t make it today. I’m the only Bedard you’ll have today, I’m afraid.”

You laughed, because, what, had he just made a joke? Crazy. Then you sat on the seat beside him and made yourself comfortable, trying to find Alex in the sea of big, aggressive men.

That was kind of the beginning of your friendship. Just like that, you talked his ears off during the entire game, complaining more than speaking, really. You’re not much of a calm person when it comes to game watching. And whenever you thought he wasn’t listening, you’d stop talking, and then he’d look at you and say things like:

“So? Where’s the rest of the story? I’m interested in why you think The Incredible Hulk is the worst Marvel movie.”

And then, when he joined your brother’s team, you were more than happy. He and Mads got to be closer and you could hang out with her whenever school and her job let you.

“I don’t think we are weird. At all. We’re just not excited about partying every single day like you are.” You replied, trying to distract yourself from the fact that Natasha Romanoff had just died on screen.

It should have been that fucking Clint asshole. Fuck him.

“Every time I throw a party here, you both just stay on the couch talking and talking, not a single drink in y’all’s hands. I get that you can’t really drink yet but at your age I was getting shit faced whenever I had the chance.”

“That isn’t the brag you think it is but fine,” He flipped you off and you smiled. “Can I invite Chloe?”

“I mean, I invited fifty guys to our house, you might as well invite your annoying girlfriend as well.” He used that one tone he always used whenever he’s annoyed and it made you roll your eyes, again.

“She isn’t annoying.”

Even though it isn’t a lie, it felt like one. Ever since you started hanging out with the players of Alex’s team more, she started to act weird. And she’s kind of obsessed with Bedard. But then again, half of the hockey community is so.

No biggie.

“Whatever, loser,” he slapped your forehead and you hit him with the pillow you were resting your head on. “You stink.”

“You fucking stink. Go change into something that isn’t a suit, weirdo.”

“I will, but not because you asked me to. I was going to do that anyway.”

You smirked. “Of course you were.”

—

EVEN though you didn’t plan on staying up the entire night like your brother and some of his teammates— the majority of the guys your brother invited were still in his twenties like him, so they don't have big responsibilities like kids or wives or husbands—, you still dressed up a bit.

Thankfully this isn’t anything fancy, so you just put on a black, silky, maxi skirt, a corset-like tube top and low heels. Since you got lazy and ended up listening to music instead of getting ready, you had to put your hair in a slick bun because it was already eight and you still weren’t ready. So, slick bun it is.

Your phone rings and you pick it up, reading Chloe’s texts:

You sent a quick nice and put on some perfume. It’s not long until you hear a quick knock on my door, followed by a blonde mess that you like to call your best friend.

“Hi, oh my God, you look stunning.” You say as soon as you both make eye contact, because Chloe’s just so freaking beautiful.

“I know,” she replies, sitting on your bed. “How are you?”

“I’m fine. Not really in the mood for partying though.”

“Are you kidding?” She slaps her knees with her hands, a smile on her face. “You have a house— no. Not a house. A mansion full of hot hockey players and you’re not in the mood for partying? What do you mean!”

You shrug. “You know I’ve never really cared about hockey. I don’t see the appeal, if I’m being honest.”

It’s true. Even before Alex made it to the NHL, you always thought hockey was just… alright. You don’t get why people get so excited to see some guys throwing a puck and skating. The fights are always fun to watch, though.

“You’re crazy,” she says, and you think she’s probably right. “Is Bedard coming?”

“I don’t really know. Maybe?” You replied, turning around and facing her. “Maybe yes. He’s on the team after all and he did score the last goal.”

“So. I need you to do something for me.” Chloe replied after a minute or two, and just by seeing the crazy look she has on her face, you knew that this isn't a really good thing.

You sigh. “What do you need?”

“I need you to introduce me to him.”

“Him?” You ask, confusion taking over your entire face.

She rolls her eyes. “Connor! I need you to introduce me to Connor!”

You don’t know why but her sentence makes your heart beat faster. You don’t like this feeling or her words either. But you just swallow your discomfort down and try to keep your expression neutral.

“Bedard? Why do you want that? You’ve never even acknowledged him in the past two years.”

“Well, I was waiting for him to make the move, but he’s so oblivious sometimes,” she says, sighing. “Honestly, I thought he liked you. You know, with how close you both are.”

You almost choke on your own spit. “Connor? Liking me?”

“I know it sounds crazy, but you can’t really blame me though. You’re all over each other and you even sit on his lap during movie nights.”

True. But also, not true.

“Well, I do that with all of my friends. I mean, I would do that if I had more friends. It’s not really my fault I just have you, Madi, Alex and Connor. I can sit on your lap if you want to—”

“Ew, not happening,” she fake-gags, making you laugh. “Anyway. Recently he said in an interview that he is single and not interested in anyone in particular. Soo, that’s my chance!”

You don’t know if you’re more weirded out with the fact that she watched one of his interviews or with the fact that she wants to be with him. And what makes you feel even weirder is the fact that you actually can picture them as a couple.

Chloe is your perfect WAG: blonde, rich, tall, good on cameras and gorgeous, even for an eighteen year old, fresh out of high school. She’s always at random, fancy parties because she says college isn’t for her, so she needs to find a rich, hot husband for herself.

You’ve never really said anything about that because you don’t think relying on a man to provide for you is the right decision. You want to get into college and continue to study so you can make your own name, and now that Alex’s known, you will need to work twice as hard to make sure you’re not getting anything just because you’re his sister.

But thinking about Chloe trying to make Connor her husband?

Yeah. It made you feel terrible.

“Yeah, I don’t know about that, Chloe…”

“Wait, what?” Something like anger flashed through her eyes. “You don’t think I have a chance with him? Why?”

“No, it’s not that, it’s just—” God, why were you feeling like this? It’s just Connor. A guy you met two years ago. “Connor’s really closed. We’ve never talked about relationships. I don’t know how to approach him.”

The smile is back on her face. “That’s fine. You just have to tell him hi, this is my best friend, chloe. And I’ll do the rest.”

You had a bad feeling about this. And it probably showed in your face because Chloe was frowning, again.

“Ellie,” she said, slowly. “Do you like him? Is that why you don’t want to introduce us?”

You were the one frowning now. Liking Connor? Seeing him as anything more than a friend? No, what? Crazy. Chloe was nuts. You just didn’t want him to get hurt. That was all.

“What?! No. No, of course not!” You said, feeling hot. “Connor is just a friend. Like you.”

“So?” Chloe said, quietly. “You will introduce us, right?”

“Yes,” you replied, without hesitating this time. “Please, be nice to him.”

“Oh, I am going to be nice,” she smirks. “I don’t know about the things I’m planning on doing with him though.”

She laughed out loud and even though you didn’t find anything funny, you laughed too. Even if your heart felt like it weighed more than the whole moon.

—

FINDING Bedard wasn’t as easy as it sounded.

Even though your brother’s house was big, it felt crowded with people. Alex said it’d only be fifty guys or so, but he forgot that those fifty guys were bulky and big, so it would feel like his house had at least eighty people there.

The music wasn’t extremely loud, it was just a background noise, so everyone could hear each other just fine. And boy, were those hockey men loud.

Every time one of them recognised you, they’d just shout and raise their arms, with either beer or liquor in his hands. It took you and Chloe at least fifteen minutes to get to the kitchen, so Chloe could get a drink for her and you a diet soda. You hated the taste of alcohol.

“God, at this point we’re never finding him,” Chloe mumbled, sipping on her beer and making a disgusted face. “You need to tell your brother to buy some proper beer.”

You chuckled. Despite everything Alex said, he’d probably freak out if you asked for alcohol. “I could always call Bedard. If he’s here, he’ll show up.”

“Yeah, do that. I’ll go to the bathroom real quick, and I’ll be back.”

You nodded, grabbing your phone and searching for Connor’s number. You finger just a centimeter from the screen, your heart beating fast in your chest, and you wanted to punch yourself when you caught yourself thinking I hope he doesn’t answer.

“I’m the world’s worst best friend,” you mumbled to yourself, disappointed with your own stupid brain.

“That skirt looks good on you,” you heard Connor’s voice and you looked down fast, checking to see if you had actually called him. When you found your phone still on the contact list, you furrowed your brows. “Hi, El.”

You turned around just to see Connor standing there, with his awkward smile and blue eyes. His hair was a bit longer than you remembered but it looked even better than before. He looked good.

You smiled, all that tension from before gone in seconds. “Hi, Con. I was literally just about to call you.” You raised your phone, showing it to him.

“Yeah?” He stepped closer, wrapping his arms around you, holding you close. Hugging him was something that felt so precious because he never really did it with many people, and to think you’re one of the lucky ones? Yeah. Precious.

“Yeah,” you replied, hands around his middle, your height difference making the whole thing funnier. You stepped back, looking him in the eye. “I— I need to… hum. Introduce you to someone.”

He raised his brows, just slightly. His face going all-Bedard like again. “It isn’t a boyfriend, is it?”

“No?”

“That sounded more like a question than an affirmation. Are you seeing anyone?”

“What? No,” you laughed, amused with his answers. “No, I’m not. You and Madi would be the first to know if I were, I promise.”

“Then, who is it? Last time you said you had to introduce me to someone, I had to chat for forty minutes with an old lady who thought the Avengers were real.”

“Don’t call Susy old!” You threw your arms up, still laughing. “And that day was funny as fuck. Also, I see myself in her, so if you don’t like her, you probably don’t like me as well.”

“Bullshit. You know I like you.” He said, blue eyes looking everywhere else but your face.

Your heart did that backflip it always does whenever Bedard says something like that. You smiled.

“I like you too,” you whispered. “But I need you to meet someone.”

Just before Connor could ask who that someone was, Chloe re-entered the kitchen, slowing her steps when she noticed that Bedard was there.

“Great, you’re here,” you said, holding one of Chloe’s hands and pushing her closer. “This is who I wanted you to meet. Chloe, this is Connor Bedard. Con, this is my friend Chloe.”

Chloe reached out her hand to greet him. “Hi! I’m a huge fan. Congrats on your win!”

Connor greeted her back, but his gaze was fixed on your face. It was extremely awkward and uncomfortable, all the tension from earlier coming back. Something that you couldn’t really identify flashed through Connor’s eyes and it made you want to scream.

“Hi. Thank you.”

Connor’s dry words didn’t seem to surprise Chloe. “Do you want to drink something? I make the best Black and Tan in the entire world.” She smiles.

Connor looked at you and you bit your lip, your mouth opening to speak before your brain could stop it. “It’s true. She does.”

“Oh, are you drinking now?” He sounded… angry?

“No, of course not,” you scoffed, wishing you had kept your mouth shut. “But people like it a lot.”

“I can’t drink. We have to hit the gym tomorrow morning.”

Blue eyes looked at you again and honestly? You were ready to call it a night and go back to your room, because what the hell. Connor wasn’t usually this complicated.

“Oh,” Chloe sounded disappointed but then. “Then maybe we can grab some drinks together tomorrow evening?”

Damn, she doesn’t give up.

“Sure. But El doesn’t drink.” He replied, leaning against the kitchen counter, his biceps practically ripping the tight shirt. You reminded yourself to stop staring.

And then you proceeded to remember what he’d just said.

“Um. I’m not coming,” you were sure your lipstick was already gone with how much you were biting your lip so you switched to picking on the skin around your nails. “I… I have… well, I’m—”

“She has a date.”

You and Connor both looked at Chloe. Your eyes doubled in size and you had to fight the urge to punch her. What the hell was going on with you that night, you wondered.

“Do you?” Connor asked, and he was definitely angry now. His face wasn’t showing anything but his eyes told the entire story. They had a storm going on inside of them and he had the same look as he did when that one guy made his teeth bleed during one game.

“That sounded more like a question than an affirmation. Are you seeing anyone?”

“What? No,” you laughed, amused with his answers. “No, I’m not. You and Madi would be the first to know if I were, I promise.”

Fuck.

“Well. It’s nothing serious. Just— a guy?” It definitely sounded like a question. Lying wasn’t exactly your best trait.

“Yeah, a guy. So, she can’t come. Just you and me,” Chloe continued, grabbing another beer and sipping on it. “Can you pick me up at seven? I’ll text you my address.”

Truthfully, you didn’t know how Chloe had the balls to act like this, especially with someone who hasn’t shown interest in her at all. Maybe this is what being confident means? You thought to yourself, trying to right her wrongs once more.

Connor just nodded and left the kitchen without saying a word.

“That went well, huh?” Chloe said, looking happy with the situation.

You just hummed, not wanting to lie more than you already did that night.

God.

[spicywhenspeaking]

If I'm There: Chapter Twenty-One

when you realize the significance of the monkey (∩˃о˂∩)♡

read from part one here!

summary: Noah and Natalie met in high school and developed a relationship through their love of music and art. Falling in love, innocent and young, they think nothing can keep them apart. However, sometimes in the pursuit of your dreams the things we love the most get left behind.

this is a complete work of fiction, some characters while based on real people are totally made up. :)

word count: 3.6k , edited by me ....soooo if you see something spelt wrong no you didn't.

taglist : @lma1986 @cookiesupplier @notingridslurkaccount @blackveilomens @thisbicc @laurpartyprogram @concretenoah @thebadchic @jessitpwk @madomens @samanthasgone @myownthoughts12

I picked up Erin from Ashely’s house at around 10 am the following morning. I don’t think anything will ever compare to her seeing me and running with excitement into my arms for a big hug. I just hope she still feels that way later today when I tell her about Noah.

“I missed you Mom!” she calls out and I pick her up and swing us around in a circle. “Oh my sweet girl, I missed you so much!” I tell her and kiss all over her cheeks and the top of her head. We finish gathering her things and thank Ashely and her mom again before we eventually get into the car and head off to begin our girls’ day. “So nails first or food? How are you feeling?” I ask as I turn on the radio and begin backing out of the driveway. 

“FOOD! Please! We only had cereal for breakfast and you know I need more than that.” I laugh because I know exactly that. My girl can eat! “Okay, so first food and then nails!” I say, then reach over to turn up the radio when I hear “Dancing Queen” by ABBA come on. We sing our hearts out on the drive to our favorite breakfast spot near our house. We sit in our regular corner booth by the back window. I order a coffee and a full stack of pancakes with eggs and bacon. Erin orders an orange juice and the same amount of food and I know she’ll finish it all. She recaps me on the last two days and all the fun she had with her friend, “but I missed you and Hales a lot. I’m happy to be back home now.” she says stuffing a huge piece of pancake into her mouth. “I’m happy you’re home too little bug, but why don't you take smaller bites? I don’t need you choking thirty minutes after getting you back.” She smiles with her mouth full of food, “okay” her muffled voice comes out and I can’t help but laugh. 

With breakfast finished the two of us head to the nail salon and I decide we should really pamper ourselves and we get the deluxe mani/pedi package. The salon I like plays old MTV music videos on big TVs all around the room. The sound of Paramore while my feet soak in the soothing heat and the massage chair digs into my back puts me into a state of complete relaxation and I find my mind wandering. Stuck on a moment from the night before, Noah and I sitting together on the couch and our almost kiss. If things were different, if we lived in an alternate universe and it wasn’t ten years later I would have closed the distance and would have let myself be sucked into his gravity. He has everything he wants now, his music, his band, it’s what he left to find ten years ago.

I look over at Eric who’s set the chair to the back-patting setting that has her voice bouncing “Ah, ah, ah, m-o-o-m, d-o-o-o I s-o-u-n-d w-e-i-r-d.” the smile that breaks across my face is full of love as I take in the beautiful girl in front of me. “You sound perfect baby,” I say and ruffle her hair softly. The rest of our appointment goes by in a relaxing daze. We laugh while Erin tells me about her last two days. We finish up and I mentally prepare myself for the conversation we are about to have. I am going to tell her about Noah. I just hope she doesn’t hate me afterward. 

We get back to the house and she rushes into her room to unload her dirty clothes and reunite with the stuffed animals she had to leave behind. “Fluffy! I never want to be separated again!” I hear her exclaim from outside of her room. Before talking to her I head into my room and open my closet door, I’m looking for a certain shoe box. “Where the hell is it?” I ask myself, “Ah ha!” It’s nestled deep into the corner hiding under the Carhart hoodie I borrowed from Haylie who stole it from who knows. I take a deep breath and lift the lid of the box. On top are several photos of me and Noah, some of the two of us, and Nicholas as well. Wadded up in a tight ball is the Bring Me The Horizon shift Noah gave me all those years ago. There’s also a CD, some random ticket stubs, drawings, and more pictures at the bottom. I decide to just take the whole box and head towards Erin’s room.

Knocking on the door I hear a soft, “Come in!” I walk into her room and see that she’s decided today is the day she’s going to reorganize her bookshelf. 

“Hey sweety, can I talk to you about something?” I ask and try to hide the nervousness in my voice. “Umm yeah, is everything okay? You sound weird.” So I didn’t do a great job at hiding it. “Yes, everything is okay. There’s just something that I need to talk to you about. Something important.”

Two lines appear between her eyebrows and her face contorts in confusion. “Is this an I can keep working and listening important or do I need to sit next to you on the bed?” she asks and I pat a spot next to me on the bed to wordlessly answer her question. “Oof, okay,” she whispers out and climbs next to me on her bed.

“You remember how I told you that I got pregnant when I was still in high school but my boyfriend and I had already broken up?” she continues looking at me with confusion all over her face but nods slightly, “Yeah, I remember. You said you two never saw each other again.” I take her hand and smile, trying to fight the tears in my eyes.

I open the box and hand her a picture of Noah and I. “His name is Noah. This is your father.” She takes the photo and looks back and forth between me and and younger version in the photo. “You look so different,” she says and I huff a laugh. “Yeah, that’s what growing up will do to you.” 

“Where is he?” she asks quietly looking up at me. “Well, he’s actually in town for a few days if you would like to meet him.”

“Where has he been?” she asks and that takes me off guard. I struggle with what to say, not wanting to keep anything from her but also not wanting to upset her. “He’s been in Los Angeles. That’s where he works.”

“What does he do?”

“He’s in a band, playing music, and sings all around the world.”

“Hm,” she says and I’m not sure what she’s thinking. 

“So he didn’t want me?” and there it is. The knife in my heart makes it hard to keep the food down from earlier but I push through, remaining strong.

“Oh no sweety, that’s not true at all. He didn’t know for so long. It’s very complicated adult stuff. Things that took me a long time to understand myself” I try to explain to her. 

“Will you tell me when I’m older the complicated stuff?”

“Of course baby, I’ll tell you anything you’d like to know about him.”

“Is he nice?” Erin asks in a quiet shy voice, “Do you think he would like me?”

I wrap her up in my arms and squeeze her tightly, “he is very nice and he will like you very much I promise.” I run my hand down her head, soothing her soft brown hair.”Does that mean you’d like to meet him?”

The air is still in the room as Erin takes time to think. Her small face scrunched in concentration. “I think I would like to meet him, yes. But are things going to change? My friend Brody’s parents don’t live together and he goes to his dad’s house every other weekend. Do I have to do that now?” I pull her closer until my head is resting on top of hers. “Nothing will change without you making that decision. Right now, we take things one step at a time.” she nods her head and wraps her arms as tight as she can around me.

“Would you be interested in meeting him tomorrow? He will be leaving again soon with his band so we won’t see him again for a few weeks. I can tell him we can wait if you’d be more comfortable.” I’m also definitely scheduling an earlier therapy appointment for her this week. Her head remains buried in my side while she takes everything in. I am giving her all the time she needs to process, so if she wants to wait until he’s more available I don’t blame her. 

“I think I would like to meet him. But what if you just invited him over here? So I can show him my stuff and maybe he will like me even more?” 

I move back so I can take her small face into my hands. “I can do that but I need to to listen to me now, there is no one on this planet that could possibly not like you Erin Howlston and I know for a fact that he will love you so much because you are you and you are perfect,” I emphasize my point my giving her cheeks a little squeeze. “But you have to think that because you’re my mom.” she quips through pursed lips. “And he’s your father, so by your logic, he must also think that,” I argue back and I see her eyes turned down slightly in the corner.

“But he made you sad right? That’s why you broke up when you were in high school. I don’t want him to make you sad again.” My heart swells. While I drop an atomic bomb of information about her life she’s worried about my feelings. I must be doing something right with this whole parenting thing.

“Sweetie, that was a long time ago. My heart is all better now and I’m not sad anymore. I am so so so unbelievably happy with our life. With you and Aunt Haliey, Uncle Kyle and Aunt Mags, and little Natasha. I think Noah is a very good person and he wants to be in your life because he cares about you. Even without having met you.” She gives me a small smile and hugs me again.” okay, I want to meet him. You said tomorrow right?” she looks up at me with her deep brown eyes that have always been just like his. “Tomorrow it is. I will give him a call later today, but what do you want to do now? Play? We could watch a movie? Or draw together?”

Quickly detangling from my arms she races to pick up her paper and stretching pencils, “Drawing please! I need help with the cat I’m drawing.” 

We spend the next few hours drawing together on her bedroom floor laughing and listening to music. For Christmas last year she asked for a Google Mini so she could ask it to play music whenever she wanted. Now we are listening to “The Very Best Of Otis Redding”. When she was a baby I listened to it all the time. I used to sing “I’ve Been Loving You Too Long” while rocking her to sleep. Sometimes I walk by her room and she is listening to it while reading or playing with her toys and it reminds me of holding her when she was so little and how she would hold my finger so tightly.

I feel the tug of guilt in my gut about Noah having missed those moments but force it down, there’s nothing that can be done about the past but we can create new memories with the three of us together. Even if Noah and I aren’t together we can be the two parents that Erin needs. Maybe we can even be friends.

Later, once Erin wanted time alone to play with her toys I went into my room to call Noah. I haven’t been able to talk to Haylie about any of this yet, she woke up late with a hangover and had to run out of the house for the day to meet with her editor to talk about her next book release.

I close my door most of the way, only keeping a small sliver open in case Erin calls out for me. I sit on the edge of my bed and hit the green call button on my new Noah contact page, It rings a few times before I hear the sound of him picking up on the other end.

Hey! Natty, how are you doing? How’s it going?

Hi Noah, things are good. How are you? 

There’s rustling in the background of his call, “oohh is that Natalie??” I hear who I think is Folio.

Yes, shush…not you Nat! You don’t have to shush. Sorry, Folio is being an idiot.

I’m good, just working on some new remixes for our deluxe album.

I just finished talking with Erin and she suggested I invite you over tomorrow to meet. Is that okay?

Tomorrow sounds great! What time is good for you two?

How does 12:30 work? I can order us sandwiches from the sub shop in town, Erin’s favorite.

Perfect, 12:30 is perfect. Thank you so much, Natty. I won’t let you down again. I promise.

I try not to blush like a preteen at the way his voice goes almost breathless as he makes his promise to me. 

Um. so I’ll see you tomorrow then, bye!

I try to rush off the phone as fast as possible before I let myself word-vomit anything stupid.

Bye Natty, I’ll see you tomorrow, looking forward to seeing you and meeting Erin. 

A few minutes I hear Haylie unlock the door and head into the house and she calls out like she did the night before. “Honeys!! I’m home!” she calls from the front room. “Hey Hales!” Erin and I both call out.

Before I have the chance to call down to her to come up so I can relay everything that’s happened since we separated after the concert, she is racing up the stairs taking two at a time. She swings my door open, stepping into my room with a huge face-splitting smile on her face. “Sooo?? How did it go?” she asks moving closer into my room and creating the same small gap in the door before sitting down next to me on the bed. “Well, before I drunkenly barged in. sorry about that. That Folio knows how to throw them back, he’s pretty hot don’t you think?”

She has this twinkle in her eye when she says it and I laugh and roll my eyes at her. “It went well, he was a little upset at first which I wasn’t surprised by. He cried I cried, it was very emotional. He wants to meet her and then stay in Austin during their break in between tour dates.” As I recant my mind whirls and everything hits me more than I expected. “He said that he wanted this life with me, wanted the family and the happiness and the love that he should have fought harder for me, should have never let me go.” I try to keep my voice steady but I can feel my throat getting thick with emotion. Haylie wraps her arm around me and remains quiet while I continue telling her all about what happened. “And then when I was showing him pictures in her baby book there was this moment..” I slowly trail off and she pops forward and her eyes widen in surprise.

“What kind of moment?” she asks in a voice that goes all jelly-like and I manage to look slightly shameful before I tell her. That I so easily folded in his presence is borderline embarrassing, just shows how powerful his hold is still over my heart. But right now I can’t think with my heart, now is the time to think with my brain. While also considering Erin’s heart. 

“We might have almost kissed,” I tell her while I bury my face in my hands. “OH MY GOD! NATALIE !” she shrieks and I quickly throw my hands over her mouth. “Shush! Haliey oh my god, Erin will hear you!” and just like that I hear her little voice calling from down the hall, “everything okay in there?” she asks. “Yes!” “Everthing is fine!” we answer in unison and I think she retreats back into her room.

“You almost kissed him! How? What did he say? Did he lean in? How did he act after the almost kiss,” she shoots out the questions in a rapid-fire succession and I rub the sides of my temples before answering her. “Um. I guess he was kind of leaning in, he was doing that thing you know. When a guy looks between your eyes and your lips. I felt so weak. Oh my god, I almost kissed him, and then the book fell and I remembered what we were doing and why he was there and I felt so stupid.”

“You are NOT stupid! There were a lot of emotions flowing, you hadn’t had a moment alone with him in years and it’s not like when you broke up you two weren’t completely and totally in love with each other. It’s not like those feelings just go away.” she says while rubbing up and down along my back. 

“I just can’t do that with him, It’s not a good idea for the two of us to do anything that could jepordize Erin’s happiness.” I nod to myself, wiping one of my hands down my face and then raking them through my hair. Haliey and I flop backwards onto the pillows while I finish catching her up on everything that happened, including my conversation with Erin and then my phone call with Noah right before she got home. 

“You want me to clear out tomorrow so y’all have some privacy?” she asks and I balk at the thought. “No way! I would never ask you to leave your own house. Plus, you’re such an important person in Erin’s life, I’m sure she would also want you here.” 

The three of us spend the rest of our evening lounging in the living room watching TV in our pajamas. We make homemade pizzas and cookies for dinner together in the kitchen while singing along to Disney’s greatest hits. We end the night all cuddled together on the couch watching Erin’s favorite movie “The Secret Life of Arrietty” and when she falls asleep I carry her up the stairs into her room and deposit her into her bed. I gently kiss her forehead and turn on her glowing nightlight before closing the door and heading back to help Haylie finish cleaning the kitchen. 

The next day is quickly upon us and I nervously watch the clock ticking away as we get closer and closer to 12:30. I picked up the subs a few minutes ago so hopefully Noah isn’t late. No one likes a soggy sub.

Just seconds before the second-hand crosses over the 12 on the clock there is a knock on the door that causes me to jump straight out of my seat. Haylie laughs at me as she rubs my shoulders walking past and into her room. She told Erin that if she needed her at any time to just barge in and get her. I walk towards the door and Erin suddenly looks very nervous and gets up to hide behind my back. “Are you okay baby?” I ask her quietly before answering the door. She nods her head against my back and whispers, “Yes, I’m fine.” she gripping the back of my jeans but I think if she didn’t want to do this anymore she would say something, she’s just nervous. Hell, I’m nervous. 

I open the door and Noah is standing there with a bouquet of wildflowers in one hand and a stuffed monkey in the other. “Hi,” he says in a soft and nervous voice. I return his greeting with a warm smile. “Come on in” I open the door wider so he can come in and Erin scoots along with me not quite ready to reveal herself. “How are you doing?” he asks and hands the flowers over to me, “these are for you.” He gestures to the monkey, “And this is for Erin.” she peaks her head out from behind me and looks up towards Noah and the monkey. “That’s for me?” she asks quietly. Noah crouches down to be at her eye level and hands out the toy to her. “Yes, this is for you. Do you like monkeys?” He asks and I see a small smile appear on her face. “I do like monkeys. I saw some at the zoo a few days ago with my friend Ashely.” She holds out her hand to accept the offering. “Hi Erin.” he says with a warm smile, “I’m Noah, it’s very nice to meet you?” She slowly eases out from behind me and is now standing beside me and at eye level with Noah, still crouched. “It’s nice to meet you too. Even though you made my mom sad.” 

Oh, Jesus, this is going to be an interesting afternoon.

Next chapter

[writinganddyinginside]

Piano Concerto

Danganronpa Drabble

Word Count: 774.

Ships: Kaede Akamatsu/Miu Iruma.

CW

N/A

Credits

Banner: PNGs from @/pngsgalore and @/oldnetreasures. Texture by @/pscs5

Divider: @/cafekitsune

See on other platforms: [Twitter] [AO3]

Kaede shouldn’t have felt so nervous. There was a nervousness she always held, regardless of what she was playing, how much she practiced, who was going to be there. But this time who was going to be there mattered. It mattered even though it shouldn’t have, since she saw the girl literally two days before.

Kaede wondered if she was upset at all.

Two nights ago, she gave the girl a ticket and invitation, asking her to attend. It didn’t have Kaede’s name on it at all, and she kind of acted as if she was going to be attending with her… As Kaede peeked into the crowd she saw her. Done up in lovely reds and pinks. She was looking down at her phone; she looked upset, maybe. Hopefully Kaede hadn’t messed up. She continued to convince the woman that she was looking for her in the audience until she felt too bad to continue because she knew that the other was smart.

She hoped, more than anything else, that Miu wouldn’t leave.

Luckily she could still see her as an announcer began to speak. Her eyes were trained, as if the seat would be empty if she blinked. The only thing that broke the gaze was her cue to step up onto the stage. From there, she focused solely on not looking. 

She sat down on the piano bench in a sky blue color, a long, almost Victorian dress that she no doubt felt pretty in. Her hair laid braided over her shoulder and she was all but grateful that she wasn’t sweating off the makeup she’d put on. It was unnecessary, perhaps, but because she knew Miu was watching her it was worth it.

Kaede would be surprised if she noticed taking a single breath before the final note of the piece was played. She stood and gave the deepest bow she could muster, disappeared off the stage as soon as she had had enough of the applause.

Kaede waited for the inventor somewhere near the exit. Miu was as excited as Kaede had dreamed, and then some. “Holy shit! Don’t get me wrong, I was fuckin’ stewing there for a hot sec waiting for you, but then—shit!” They laughed and hugged, not nearly tight enough. “Kaede, that was beautiful. I knew you said you played piano but I didn’t know it was like that!”

“Thank you! I really worried that you were mad at me—I mean, you were, but I’m glad you liked it! In the end.” Kaede finally got a look at the way Miu was dressed as they separated. A satin slip, fading from pink to red. High ponytail and jewelry that probably produced light in total darkness. “And you look… so amazing and pretty and I wouldn’t have wanted to, yknow, waste all that.”

“Yeah! I busted my ass to look this hot, I swear… and not in a likable way either! But.. I’m happy you like it. Thanks, Kaede.” Miu took her hand and held it, and it was a perfect thing. She was looking at what the both of them were wearing, just as Kaede had done a second before. “There’s totally different vibes going on here, but that’s not something I give a fuck about. You are stunning! A real princess.” Miu goes a little pink in the face as she speaks and the awestruck words have Kaede flushing red. It was too much and not enough.

“Thank you, Miu! This was really fun! I really liked performing for you. And everyone else, I guess.” It was a joke, partially. 

“I think I only liked the piece when you played it.”

“Have you ever even heard it before today?”

“Didn’t need to! Okay, so I know it’s like, whatever-o-clock, but I feel like we should go somewhere else. Can we? I’m not going home yet.” Miu made her way outside, and Kaede was effectively dragged with her. She giggled, lifting her dress to step over puddles on the ground.

“Where could we even go, Miu?” She wasn’t objecting to the idea; frankly, she would spend the whole night with Miu if fate somehow allowed. She didn’t think it was possible now but she wanted it so badly. Anywhere would suffice.

“I don’t know, somewhere! Maybe we should find another piano, so you can play more for me. Put on a show.”

Kaede laughed at the persistence. “I don’t need to play piano all the time. You actually shouldn’t enable me! I won’t stop.”

“Well then I should, right? Why would I want you to stop?”

At least it was a nice sentiment.

[losergaymothman]

Steve + Eddie (mainly Steve) headcanons!!!

Eddie is the type of autistic to get really frustrated when overstimulated + to often snap at ppl. he feels guilty at about it afterwards.

Steve is the type of autistic to just get up + leave when overstimulated. He usually makes a decent enough excuse about needing to go to the bathroom or some shit and then bolts.

Steve has RSD + is v insecure about his place in the party + how his intelligence is precieved. When a party member makes an off-handed remark about him being dumb, it actually really, really affects him but he usually doesn’t say anything about it.

Eddie understands why steve asks so many questions + why he often needs clarification on simple things. Most of the party doesn’t understand this, however, and often makes fun of steve for it. Eddie is v different from the rest of the party and always answers Steve’s questions w/o mocking him. Eddie (excluding robin) is the only person that doesn’t make Steve feel like an idiot.

Steve is the type of person to have the self perception to KNOW he’s autistic and has adhd and is bisexual, but not actually know what it is. He just thinks it’s some quirky Steve-thing. “Yeah, I have a harder time being social with people and had really bad grades bc school didn’t make sense to me, but that’s because I’m stupid, isn’t it?” No, Steve, it isn’t because you’re stupid. “I thought we all thought about dating men?” No, steve, straight men don’t want to date men.

Steve’s parents never really gave enough shit about him to try to diagnose anything about him. They thought it was a waste of their time, so he never actually got any accommodations for his neurodivergencies/learning disabilities.

The collective of eddie, robin and Dustin give him actual names for his neurodivergencies + sexuality. It’s a big deal, obviously, but it wasn’t super hard for him to accept. I mean, he had already accepted it a long time ago. He just didn’t know what it was. This was the timeline: “straight men think about dudes romantically” -> “oh, they don’t? I guess I’m bisexual” -> “I’m gonna go ask out Eddie”. The time between those events were between a day or two, to a couple hours. You can decide.

Even though steve wasn’t super phased by himself being neurodivergent + queer, it took A LOT of effort to accept the fact that he was disabled. With all that head trauma? Some point in between Billy smashing his head in and the Russians, Steve ended up developing epilepsy + is hard of hearing in one ear.

Steve actually doesn’t realise he’s epileptic for a while. He knows something is wrong, bc sometimes he’s doing something and then everything turns off and then suddenly he’s back and time has passed, but he doesn’t actually know what happened. A common trope in Steve has epilepsy fics, is Steve having absent seizures where it looks very similar to someone being venca’d, and I really like that so!! It isn’t until not too long after the events of Vecna that he ends up seizing in front of one of the party members and they freak the fuck out bc “oh my fucking god, Steve’s being vecna’d! What the fuck do we do?”. Once they force him to go to the doctors, he’s diagnosed with epilepsy. The thing he struggles with most is the fact that he thinks that his epilepsy makes him weaker (as he bases his worth on how much he can provide for the party). Him being unable to drive for a while doesn’t make it any easier, as a big portion of what he does for the stranger things kids is drive them around places.

Eddie, Nancy and Jonathan start helping out with the driving, tho, and even robin starts learning how to drive (with the help of Steve). She swears up and down that it’s only for emergencies, and Steve takes her for her word. She was a nervous wreck during their lessons.

Not only was Steve hesitant to accept his disabilities, but it also took a long time for him to accept his transness. This can apply to any type of trans headcanons you have for him. Personally, I think he’d be a really cool enby/trans fem lad. Any trans masc headcanons are totally cool too!! I just think enby/trans fem works really well with his character, as a huge part of how Steve is characterized is through his privilege + him becoming a better person, so him knowing he was trans since a young age + still being cool + popular doesn’t make as much sense as it was THE EIGHTIES. If he was transfem or enby, though, he’d realize after his big chunk of character development through season 1-2 and start realizing + accepting it from season 3 onward (it’s a long process). Steve really struggles with internalised transphobia though. Like, accepting he was bi? Easy. Accepting he was trans? Nope, nu uh. Not gonna happen. He often tries to convince himself that he’s making it up (as all of us envies do). The party is really accepting and supportive tho!! They make the whole experience 10x easier and are constantly making Steve feel really seen and validated in the best ways ever, especially the younger kids. It has made Steve cry on many occasions. Many occasions. Steve has spent most of his life lonely and desperately wishing for someone to love him the way he wants them to, and so after all the shit he’s went through? All the failed relationships and desperation to feel a sliver of reciprocated unconditional love? These shit heads end up run into his life and filling all the empty cavities in his chest that he didn’t even know where empty and he just feels so warm and happy all the time. Like, sure he knew that the party appreciated his presence and that robin loved him (they were platonic soulmates with a capital P after all), it’s just that he kind of thought that after a bit—if he revealed too much of him and what makes steve, steve—they maybe kinda not wanna be around him anymore. I mean, it’s happened before so it wasn’t so presumptuous of him to think that the pattern would repeat itself, okay? But then it didn’t , and steve was vulnerable in front of the party—his family—in a way he’d never been before because he didn’t think he was allowed to be and then he came out as trans!! And they were so fucking supportive of him!! They hugged him and they thought it was cool and they immediately asked him questions about what would make him the most comfortable and he just!! Fucking!! Holy shit!! He’s been waiting his whole entire 20ish years of life to find people who would genuinely like him for him and who wouldn’t get mad if he wasn’t able to sit still all the time or if he would look into peoples eyes too much or if he had to get them to talk predominantly on one side of him or!! If he actually wasn’t totally, completely a boy!! And he just!! They love him. They love him. And it’s in a way that his parents or his old friends never have and never will bc fuck them! His friends love him and they don’t care that he’s trans. Of fucking course he is going to cry.

Though lots of people think that hopper would be Steve’s step-in father, I personally think that the two are more of a kinda awkward, we-know-eachother-because-of-the-upside-down, type relationship. They don’t really talk that often, but they do have this mutual respect for each other + defend each other when the time calls. Wayne Munson on the other? He’s so entirely not like Steve’s father but so like Steve’s father that Steve has this urge to act likes Steve’s actual father would expects him to act, but towards Wayne. For example, Wayne is someone who commands respect. Not in the way Steve’s father commands respect by often using harsh words and demeaning comments, but rather with a mutual agreement of “if u treat me nice, I treat u nice”. Steve can tell that Wayne and his fathers demeanours are different. He knows. He’s not as stupid as others think he is. It’s just that Wayne and his father are so similar, (plus, Wayne honestly kind of scares Steve a bit) that sometimes when Steve is talking to him, it’s second nature for Steve to automatically straighten his posture, confirm that he is making the right amount of eye contact that wouldn’t get him reprimanded and start to slip “sir”‘s and “mr”‘s into sentences. Wayne notices this (of course) and tries his best to make Steve as most comfortable with him and in is home as possible. He raised Eddie, for god’s sake, who also came from a bad home and is as autistic as can be. He is quite good at showing Steve that he can trust him.

[tiredmamaissy]

i had the question about relationships…or situationship, whatever tf this is.

i’ve liked this guy for a few months now (let’s call him pineapple) we both attend the same school, but we have completely different classes. i only get to see him when i’m walking on campus after my last class. anyway, i have a really close friend…i’ll call her coconut; i told coconut i liked pineapple and she encouraged me to talk to him but i’m was too afraid to do so. it took a lot of her convincing me and pushing me to finally muster up the courage to say something to him, and it honestly didn’t go THAT bad. he wasn’t the most enthusiastic person in the world but he was still nice. assuming that i randomly approached him while he was working out would make sense as to why he was a bit caught off guard but yeah! it was a short conversation. i made up an excuse that he looked really fit and i basically asked if he had any tips on growing glutes, n you know…he gave me tips i guess.

that was about 2 weeks ago. we quickly became friends after that short conversation as i s realized him and i shared some friends. (not sure how i didn’t realize it but yeah). he quickly started inviting me to hang out with his friends and it was honestly great. though i’m a naturally timid and lowkey awkward person, i had fun hanging with him. his friends are literally ALL boys but they’re nice guys! besides some of them making uncomfortable sexual jokes about us two, it’s cool ig…(?).

that’s just some background info so i don’t blindly go into the difficult part of our “relationship”. he’s a fuckboy. like big time. i only had to spend a few days with him to realize how easy he was. went to a party WITH him and ended up leaving WITHOUT him because he was too busy getting his dick sucked by some random girl who pulled up mid-party…but i still like him? i genuinely can’t shake the feelings i have for him. he’s been nothing but kind to me. he buys me things, makes me laugh, makes me smile, all of the above….he just sleeps around…with a lot of girls…while also treating me like his girlfriend. or does he treat me like his girlfriend? i dunno if i’m just delusional. his friends refer to me as pineapples “girl” so i kind of assumed we had a little something going. maybe i am reading this wrong.

i don’t know where i’m going with this. i just want to know if you think i’m wasting my time. does he like me? i hope so…i think so…but it doesn’t stop him from having sex with other girls.

im nearing a point of just pinning him down and screaming how i feel at him. i just want him to know how strong my feelings are, how deep they run, how much i care for him, how much i admire him. i dunno. what do you think, issy?

Thank you for sharing this with me (and us), and I wish you could see my face rn 😭 I would like to say that you don’t have to listen to anything I’m about to say ofc, what you decide to do is completely up to you!

I would say talk to him. Sounds cliche but there’s definitely a lot of uncertainty about the relationship. The biggest being - are you in a romantic relationship or not? And if so, what are the boundaries of the relationship? Is it open? Does he value monogamy? Do you? You would need to sit down and ask yourself what your values and expectations are regarding intimate relationships. The fact that he went with you to a party and left without you bc he was with another person is disrespectful to you (to say the least) despite the relationship status.. so I’m sorry that happened to you.

If he’s openly engaging intimately with other people, I’d say it’s safe to assume that he doesn’t see the relationship as something ‘official’. But at the same time, he’s engaging in relationship-like things w/ you. Which is why you’re confused. Mixed signals. Which is so unfair to you. And the only way to clarify things is to sit him down and have a serious conversation with him about.. everything. And from there you’ll be in a better position to not only answer your own questions, but to make a well informed decision about where you want to go from here

Wish you nothing but the best. 💖

[pokeexehasstoppedworking]

A Champion Time For The Heart Ch41 Epilogue

(Hey everyone. I just wanted to thank everyone who read this far and liked my story enough to read it to it's end. I had a lot of fun writing it and it makes me happy knowing some people loved it enough to read it fully. If you liked this consider checking out my other works. Thanks to everyone for reading this, faving it, or leaving a nice comment. And thank you to Nintendo and Game Freak for creating such wonderful characters and giving me the opportunity to make this wonderful story.)

"What do you mean he went off somewhere again?''

Hop shrugged in front of you a stack of research papers in his arms. "He left a good number of days ago. I thought you already knew that, Mate. Didn't my big bro tell you anything before he left?"

You shook your head wide eyed. "No. I didn't even have any idea he was gone! How long has he been missing?"

"About two weeks ago. Said he had to take a quick trip over somewhere to pick up something after Sonia told him about it. Not sure what tho. But I'm sure he'll be back soon....unless he gets lost again. *sigh*"

"And how do you know that?"

"He called me this morning. Said he'll back by tomorrow noon, unless like I said, he gets lost again."

"...Oh."

That was strange. You hadn't seen Lee for almost two weeks by now because you both had been so busy lately.You just assumed he was spending time with his family after spending so much time in Pasio. You'd been busy yourself seeing about adding some more furniture to your home with some unused furniture Mrs. L gifted you from their shed, and working hard to save up enough money to start that side bakery gig you always wanted. So you hadn't seen Lee lately but only assumed that was because he was busy with everything or gotten lost most of the time again. But..he had left without telling you? That was very much unlike him. Where did he go? To see the Chairwoman? Why didn't he tell you? Maybe he's been so busy and stressed that he had just forgotten? You'd just stop by to see if he wanted to join you for lunch that day and was hit with the news when Hop was walking out the door. Well you'd soon find out what he was doing anyways since he was returning tomorrow. The next day came faster than expected and you were in the middle of work too. Your boss and yourself were in the front restocking some supplies when a man of purple hair and a smile on his face walked in and you paused in your tracks, eyes widened, as none other than Leon himself walked through the door sending the little bell above the door ringing.

"Lee!?"

"Y/n!," he said with a smile on his face turning towards your wide eyed look. "I'm home!"

"Where have you been!?," you asked turning from the shelf and frowning at him. "You took off for two weeks without telling me! I thought you said you were done with traveling for a long while."

He held up an empty hand. "I know. I know. But I promise I can explain. I was going to meet at your house but I ended up taking a wrong turn and ended up in front of the store instead." he chuckled nervously and you rolled your eyes. "But this works t-too since you're here! Can I talk to you outside for a sec?"

..You looked to your Boss who nodded. "Go ahead. I'll just finish stocking the shelf here."

Well that settled it. With that being a yes you went ahead and followed Leon back outside just in front of the cafe with the bell dinging away behind you. Once outside he stopped and looked at you silently smiling for a moment however you were still confused. It was only after another second or two you opened your mouth, but was stopped when he held up his other hand. You weren't sure how you didn't notice but the entire time he was holding something, that something happened to be a simple pokeball wrapped in a red ribbon. You stared at him, then at him, then back at the ball, and after a moment of silently staring at it, slowly it from him to which he then lowered his hand back.

"...What's this?"

"It's a pokemon."

"I-..W-Well yeah. Obviously. But why?"

"J-Just open it," he stammered hand shakily reaching up to rub the back of his neck. "I w-went through the trouble of getting it for you. T-Took a bit since I lost my way twice..three times if you count losing the way to your house."

You still stared at him for a moment before looking back down at it. Lee..got you a pokemon? Well that was an unexpected gift but not a bad one! That's actually really sweet of him to do so! With a smile you immediately pulled off the red ribbon and gave the small red and white ball a toss to summon out whatever it was inside. A bright white light popped out from it and the small critter came forth but the sight of it made you pause. It was a pokemon alright and one you HAD seen before...But by accident. When Gloria accidentally gave it to Hop so long ago. The small pokemon had the small body of an apple with eyes poking out at the top where the stem would be and a small green tail behind it. It blinked before looking around and stopping at you. Giving a curious peep towards yourself.

...An...Applin???

IT WAS AN APPLIN!! A FREAKING CUTE LITTLE APPLIN!! LEE HAD GIVEN YOU AN APPLIN!! you continued to stare at the small pokemon for a silent wide eyed moment for a moment before looking at Leon.

"W-What's all this about?"

He gave the shakiest most nervous sounding sigh you had ever heard him say. "Y-Yeah...Look. I jus'-....*ahem* I-I-....*sigh* I didn't know how else to ask. Alright?" His head rolled to the side as he nervously rubbed his neck. "I-...I know we h-haven't really t-talked 'bout being together-together or anything official or nothing...So I-...I-I remembered what Glory said about the Isle of Armor. I talked to Sonia about it and found out there was a ton of these lil guys living over t-there in secret. So I just..." He sighed again closing his eyes gesturing to the small apple pokemon who made a peeping sound. "I wanted to get you one and ask-..W-Well it-it's only natural I'd a-ask and make it o-official at least. I-I MEAN! Only if ya want to. W-What I'm asking is....Y-Y/n. W-W-Would y-you m-mind..being m-my..p-partner-" His body flinched feeling a touch on his hand and he snapped his gold eyes up towards you.

He got his answer when you wrapped your hand around his own and smiled. "Yes."

[z-exo-l]

Exist First Impressions

(Excluding Let Me In, Hear Me Out and Cream Soda)

Regret It. !! Wha?? Hello PCY. Omg. Dem Jointz. ??? What is happening??? What a weird instrumental??? I mean they sound grea—Kai! So much Kai!!?? Ohhhhh R&B Kyungsoo!!! I’m liking the duos on the chorus. Okay, this has the recipe to be a grower. The chorus and close out are great. It would be better if it was longer, and I still think the random bits at the beginning and end are weird.

Private Party. Ohhh…OHHH YESS! Ohhh smooth opening. Oop! Switch up. This one I’m not weirded out by because I heard the highlight already. Niiice. OMG I love when vocals go up and down! Ooh see this one’s switch up is FAR more homogenous. Omg they know what they’re doing with the English distribution. Kaiiii! So many shortys. I’m curious about the lyrics here. Yeees signature harmonies! That one’s cute!

Cinderella. Okay…I’m having fun. Awww, Kai’s making me so happy. Pfft! Sehun is standing out to me this album. Pcy is rocking it though. I’m having a lot of fun w these melodies. Yeeees give Ksoo those soft Cs!!! I’m loving the more features of Minseok too.

No Makeup. Ohhhhh yes soft kjm! Kaisoo trade off. *sigh* Yeeeeesss. This is the sweet spot man. KYUNGSOO RUN! Ooooh a xiubaek pair up? YES! Is that vocal pcy??? …Ngl, I’m worried about the lyrics but…LISTEN TO THEM! Jongdaaaae!!! Pcyyyy! LOW VOCAL SEHUN???? YES!!! Omg Baek, hell yeah. So far this b-side is the ONE.

Love Fool. OOH! This is the one Baek spoiled months ago! YES, Kyungsoo! You’re going off Minseok! Ohhh…don’t love this segment. 😬 Okay, it picked up again. Idk why that part’s there when the rest is good. I’m getting Kyungsoo fed on this one too. See, outside that one—two 😑 dumb parts this song’s great!

Another Day. Niiice start Baek! Yeees go OFF kji! I *love* the kjd pair! Oooh ksoo! Kjm yes!!! OMG! ohh the distortion effects are interesting. !!! MINSEOK SLAY!!! Oop—why did they do that to ksoo’s voice there? Kai gahDAMN. This song is just a vocal flex, man. 😆 Why do they keep putting effects on ksoo’s voice??? Oop! Deep voice Kyungsoo close out?? Wow. I’m worried this one will land in the camp of song that bums me outnif I’m in the wrong state of mind but we’ll have to see.

Okay. First impression filed away, but I am running on five hours sleep over the last 24 hours and after a couple reblogs I’m going to sleep…for an hour. 😅 I’ll do a more comprehensive overall opinion later.

[hariboz]

HELLO HELLO ML !!!! so sorry for the late reply ive been shockingly sorta busy these days :0 BUT IM BACK 2 TALK TO MY FAVE WRITERRRRR ( AKA U !!!!! )

ALSO I LISTENED TO SOME OF THE NCT WISH SONGS N HANDS UP IS DEF MY FAVE SO FAR ( u successfully influenced me ) n im totally gonna watch that bakery thing n get back to u bc why is that so cute.. ILL LYK MY POTENTIAL BIAS TOO N SEE IF UR PREDICTIONS R CORRECT 🤞🏻

I FEEL SO BAD FOR U LOVIE T__T i actually got lucky n found some zb1 digi albums at the kpop store in a mall where i live N TELL ME HOW I GOT ANOTHER WOOK !!!!! i love my man u guys ( i also got a hao n two gyubs <3 ) ALSO IKR ??? yujins pcs r so cute n pretty for no reason i swear T^T ACTUALLY SENDING MY RICKY PCS TO U I NEED TO SAVE UR WALLET !!!!! i love him but the way that hes avoiding u like that needs to end !! u both shld be reunited 🤭

&& IKR ?!?!?! wk1 being a good company was not on my 2024 bucket list but im not mad ???? LIKE LETS GO, despite it being such a stupid controversy im glad they shut the "zeroses" up n let my man free !!

NOT THE OLLIE FUND ( i dont blame u ) I SAW THAT URE GETTING THE MAGAZINES FOR HIM N GETTING SOME PCS IN APRIL ?!?! GOOD LUCK W/ UR PULLS !!! although u can get no wrong ones i mean.. ITS OLLIE !!!! but im so excited to see what u get ( if u get any good ones i might steal them, watch out... )

— 🎀

HELLOOOOO POOKIE <3 i’m glad ur back !! && AS YOU SHOULD hands up is soooo fun omg!! they did perform wish which is their debut song at smtown so if you’d like to check that out before the mv drops on the 28th…here you go 🥹🫶🏻 YESS watch wish bakery it’s SO cute ugh i love them all so much (my bet is still on riku & ryo + sakuya being your faves!! but they’re all so lovely <3)

i got 4 (FOUR!!) cheap mp digis on neokyo a while ago but STILL NO WOOKIE!! like this is personal atp…bc i have to buy ricky’s usually i actually end up with doubles 😭 i join multiple inclusion group orders and by the time all of them get to me i usually alr have the rickys i need…it was this way for yits & mp so i guess i just don’t learn LMAO maybe i should use the double rickys to trade for some wookies 🤭

i fear this will be the only time wk1 does something right…i don’t trust them to keep this up 😭 omg also “zeroses” are always mad abt something, i just stopped using twt bc every time i do i turn miserable bc why are k-zeroses mad over taerae doing gg dances well??? put this energy into something else oh my god

OLLIE FUND! OLLIE FUND! [chanting] i’m pretty sure the asy final will also be entirely decided on paid votes so….😵‍💫 i guess i’ll have to tap into the fund…? i sound insane but that’s my SON he needs to debut..!! speaking of the final..it’ll be a live show which should be obvious…but also it’s asy and all the eps were filmed in like october/november except for the rankings so 😭 i’m ready to have another breakdown like i did w the bp final…i guess…OLLIE FIRST OLLIE CENTER LETS GOOO!! &&& YES THE MAGAZINES!! i’m so excited for them oh my god!! & actually the pcs are guaranteed if i read everything correctly!! so the ones you see on that one post are the ones i’ll actually get and HES SO CUTE i’m so excited 🥹🫶🏻