#like a few weeks ago idk did i make that up .. i have deja vu !!! >_<

[garoujo]

BESTIEEEEEE LOOK WHAT I DID!! TRIPLE CROWNED BABIE

omg yayayayay !!! i’ve decided i’m finally gonna crown my king kazu .. he absolutely deserves it istg ! he’s carried me thus far so wait 4 it <3 !!

[centrifugal-apotheosis]

Spinning Out of the Shackles: Part 1

CW: loss of free will, involutary near-suicide (implied)

//ooc: transcribed from a discord rp with the muns of @ripper-the-indoraptor (Ripper, Yes Man) @inkteamatlas (Ebb) @averagedualies (Sage) @nom-kaanookaat (Spood) 

//Note that I made some edits in placement to help things read better

[transcribed from Twystcord

Dr. Wily: Attention all Robot Masters! The Wily Dimension Gate is live! Please report to recieving for last-minute arrangements

Top Man: Oh boy... so fun /sarc

Dr. Wily: Contact with our sponsors has been established. They are coming here

Shadow Man: I will greet them

Dr. Wily: Good. The rest of you line up. There are a few things I need to do with each of you. Shadow Man you as well

"Yes Man: oh dear…"

"Enker: No-"

"Spood: O_O"

"Ripper: ew no"

Dr. Wily: Each of you will download this contract and agree to it. Don't worry, the code activates automatically

Shadow Man: With pleasure, Dr. Wily

"Yes Man: NOIDONTTHINKIWILL.GIF"

"Ebb Wakame: Sorry I was busy dealing with the healthcare system What's going on in here?"

Top Man: Um... did you not read the fine print on this thing?!?!?!

"Spood: Wily's got the robot masters downloading and agreeing to a bit of code with a contract attached and it's a bit sus"

"Ebb Wakame: Oh. Ew"

Dr. Wily: What line seems to be the issue, 021?

Top Man: Oh idk, maybe the AT-WILL REMOTE OPERATION CLAUSE?!?!?!?!?!

"Spood: hey doc what kind of fuckery did you put in the fine prEXCUSE ME WHAT"

"Ebb Wakame: Oh shit. Yeah ew. That's what happened with Sage. Don't agree to that shit"

"Yes Man: I put a lot of time and effort into gaining free-will, I am not tossing it away for someone I barely know "

"Spood: DECLINE. DECLINE THAT SHIT SO HARD"

"Top Man: I'm doing just that thank you very much!"

Dr. Wily: It's really nothing to worry about. I won't make you do anything you weren't already programmed for

"Spood: ... this week"

"Yes Man: that's exactly why I won't"

"Top Man: You think that's a good thing?! FRAG NO!!!!!"

"Ebb Wakame: I literally just had this fucking argument with someone. Like, straight up 2 days ago. With a fucked up ai. Doesn't matter what someone is programmed for. Also either way that's a massive violation of rights and free will"

"Yes Man: exactly!"

Dr. Wily: Stop being ridiculous. Do you forget who created you?

"Enker: This should be interesting… You don't have to put up with him, Top Man, I stopped a century ago."

"Ebb Wakame: Doesn't matter who created who, dipshit"

"Spood: 'I gave you life and this is how you repay me' says abusive dad robotics genius to his sentient, self-aware robotic children

"Yes Man: and why should that matter?"

"Ebb Wakame:Wow I am getting serious deja vu"

Svarog: There is evidence to suggest Top Man's creation was a joint effort. Between Wily and another person

"Ripper: yeah, Wily's ex"

"Ebb Wakame: That moron got someone to date him?"

"Spood: I am so very glad the twins are not in this server. They would be raking you across the coals, Wily. And those two are sentient by accident"

Sage [10,005] Sage is online

"Ebb Wakame This is one shell of a time for you to come back"

Svarog: Accessing database on Dr. Thomas Light…

Dr. Wily: ENOUGH! DWN-021 I ORDER YOU TO AGREE TO THAT CONTRACT!!!

"Spood: HELL NAH DECLINE IT"

"Ebb Wakame: Fuck right off with that"

"Yes Man: you don't have to if you don't want to, Top Man"

Top Man: I REFUSE!!!!!

TopMan.OS: Error: Fatal exception to protocol ASMV: 2 detected.

"Spood: Ohno. nononononono"

"Top Man: ...what's that?"

"Dr. Wily: you idiot"

"Yes Man: ohno"

"Sage [10,005]: I believe I have come in during an inconvenient time."

"Spood: Hi Sage, Wily's doing some nonsense again"

"Top Man: What does that error mean?!"

"Yes Man: it's ok, you'll be ok, I promise"

TopMan.OS: Error resolution initiated. Commencing manufacturer reset

"Spood: FUCK"

"Sage [10,005]: Wily. Justify your present actions."

Dr. Wily: Let me explain so it registers in your thick head, 021: Since you broke the second law of robotics, you're being reset to your creator's settings. Which means all your personality and memory files are being wiped

Top Man: But... my memory... my personality... that's what makes me who I am… delete them and I...

"Yes Man: nonononononono"

Dr. Wily: You should've thought about that before attempting to break the laws of robotics

"Yes Man: FUCK YOU, YOU ASSHOLE"

Top Man: No... I can't…

Dr. Wily: Want to reconsider, 021? I might be able to stop the reset if you'll behave

Top Man: Gh... rgh…

"Yes Man: it's ok, you won't be reset. Not if I can help it"

Dr. Wily: A bit late for that now. He's teleported off somewhere. And with what just happened now I have no way to find him. Oh well I guess

"Yes Man: die alone"

"Spood: OH WELL YOU FUCKING GUESS????? WHAT A JOKE OF A FATHER FUCKING CHRIST ON A CRACKER. GIVE ME ONE REASON NOT TO "FACTORY RESET" YOU, WILY, JUST ONE"

"Enker: I don't know who you are, but even if I sided against Wily in my world he wasn't like this."

"Spood: Oh yes hi I'm Spider Man, I live in Kalos and mail the local ecofash cult glitter bombs once a week! But yeah I'm just gonna. Try not to choose violence. With another old man today"

Clara: ...what's happening? oh... Oh dear…

End transcription]

Part 2: https://www.tumblr.com/freeroaming-curiosity/752765043790200832/top-man-sure-i-coulda-done-this-myself

Part 3: https://www.tumblr.com/centrifugal-apotheosis/752768283175944192/quasar-i-think-i-got-this-figured-out-ok-top

Part 4: https://www.tumblr.com/mechanical-hearth/752768995313188864/he-then-notices-someone-spinning-happily-next-to

Part 5: https://www.tumblr.com/centrifugal-apotheosis/752769546876813312/baron-well-then-automaton-rotary-check-your

[falcqns]

Hii i have this request in mind like Chris Evans x Actress! Singer! Reader like the reader and chris dated for 3y idk but they broke up but the reader always visit chris’ family bc she treated them like family aswell specialy when the reader’s parents died so she spend Christmas there or any occasions bc chris’ family invite her and when chris got a new gf the reader is kinda hurt bc she still love chris but she try to look like she doesn’t care but then she released her new song its called deja vu (by olivia rodrigo) and she release it to her bday so when the song is released the fans knew its abt chris bc of the new gf (chris’ fam doesn’t like the new gf and the fans kinda didn’t support them bc of the girl’s attitude) and chris’ family invites her over bc they want to show the reader something and when the reader got there they surprise her for her bday and congratulate her and turns out chris is there too with his new gf🤨and the reader knew chris’ new gf hated her bc of her look and scott called you all to the living room and watch the mv of the reader’s new song and when the mv ends scott and the fam congratuleted the reader and chris’ gf is giving the reader looks again and chris is noticing it and when the reader is in the kitchen alone getting something chris talk to her and congratulate her and chris’ new gf wrapped her arms around chris and chris tried to stop her to make a scene but she started a scene and scream at the reader but the reader cut her off and embarrassing her and the reader prove the new gf shes first not her (idk if that make sense lol) and the new gf leave(idk you can make her a random name so its not only “new gf”) and the reader and chris talk and they got back together, you can do wha you want at the end this is just so random bc i was listening to deja vu and advance thank you if you do my request! Stay safe! ❤️ and im so sorry if this is so long

Deja Vu

pairing: Chris Evans x singer!reader

warnings: parents death, major angst, fluff. 

a/n: thank you for the request! Hope you enjoy!

You had known Chris since college, when you had met him in your communications class. You two had grown close quickly, and became best friends. 

He brought you home every Christmas Eve, before you would go home to your parents house on Christmas Day. You had always felt like a part of the family, so when your parents passed a way, you turned to him. 

You and your parents were driving home from a Christmas Day church service, when you were hit by a semi truck. It had completely totalled the car, and your parents had died on impact. You had been sitting in the back, and only had a broken leg from where your moms seat had been pushed back into it roughly. 

You had been pulled from the car and sat in a second ambulance, while your parents were transported in another. You knew you'd never forget watching that ambulance door close and drive away, knowing that was the last time you'd ever see them. 

When the police officers asked if there was anyone you could call, you didn't know what to do. Your parents were both only children, so you had no aunts, uncles or cousins. You were an only child too, so you had no siblings, and your grandparents had passed when you were little, your other ones passing before you were born. 

So when the officer asked you, you told him the Evans’ phone number. Lisa picked up on the second ring, and you tearfully explained what had happened as the shock wore off. She immediately said she’d meet you at the hospital, and not to worry, that she and Bob would take care of you. 

You were taken to the hospital and treated for your broken leg. Less than an hour after you arrived, Lisa arrived at the hospital with Chris in tow. They comforted you, and took you home with them. You stayed in Chris’s room for the first few days, and when you were given your own room, you still had a hard time sleeping alone, so Chris ended up in your bed with you most nights, not that he minded. 

You never went back to college, and instead turned to singing as a release from all the pain you were feeling. You started out posting covers on YouTube, and gradually progressed to getting a record deal with Interscope Records, which didn't surprise anyone who knew you. You had immense talent, and your parents used to tell you that they were counting down the days before you were a celebrity. 

When Chris graduated college and told you he was moving to Los Angeles, he convinced you to come with him. Prices were high in LA, and he didn't want to be separated from you for too long, so you joined him. He got to be an actor, and you got to be a singer, which is what you both had wanted since you were younger. 

You went to every one of Chris’s movie premieres, and he attended as many of your live shows as he could. You supported him through all his relationships and his breakups, and played the middle man whenever he and Jenny would fight, up until the very end. You told yourself you did that because you just wanted what's best for him, but you both kind of knew that wasn't the reason at all. 

Throughout your time living together, you friendship grew, as did your feelings for each other. You'd be lying if you didn't have a small crush on him in college, and those feelings only grew as time went on, especially since the two of you decided to only get a one bedroom apartment. Mainly because it was cheap, but also because Chris made a decision a week after your parents death to never allow you to sleep alone because of the nightmares that would occur if he wasn't there.

So, when you won your first award for your first album, named ‘hand in hand’, he kissed you the second you came off the stage with your award in hand. It blew your mind that he felt the same, but you were happy nonetheless. You two began dating that night, and everything was perfect. 

Until, you were invited by 5 Seconds of Summer to be their opening act on their newest tour. You had agreed, and Chris let you go. You two had been dating for over 3 years, and you thought your relationship would be fine. 

You quickly realized however that that wasn't the case, when the two of you started fighting less than two weeks into the tour. The fights weren't anything major, more petty things like ‘did you change the Netflix password’ or ‘why did you take this piece of clothing, that was mine and it was my favourite.’ All around stupid fights. 

You had turned to Calum, who you were closest with, and he consoled you as much as you could. You realized however, that you couldn't be with Chris anymore when he drunk called you in the middle of the night while you were in the UK and got angry with you when you answered and told him to call you back in the morning when he was sober, to which he proceeded to brag that he slept with his co star at the time, Jessica Alba, you freaked out and ended things. 

You got a message from Jessica on instagram the next day letting you know that they did not sleep together, and that she was sorry he even said it. You assured her it was fine, and felt relief.

Relief because you got to the bottom of the situation, but also relief from your relationship. You didn't know what happened in those few weeks, but you knew the relationship was turning toxic, and you wanted to stop it before that happened. Neither you or Chris needed that. You told him you’d find a new place to live, and by the time tour ended, you bought yourself a house in Beverly Hills, and moved out of the apartment.

Chris moved out not long after, and bought his own house. He had tried to stay friends with you, but you didn't want that at that point in time. You were still hurting, and needed time to heal. 

Once you felt ready to date again, you were asked to be Calum’s date to the Peoples Choice Awards, you accepted. You knew Chris would be there, and you were hoping to talk to him, and maybe work it out. He had told you during the break up that he would always wait for you to come back, and that he still loved you, and always would. 

But you knew that wasn't the case when he showed up on the red carpet, with a new actress named Myra Woodfield. You had smiled at him, while trying not to break down inside, but he gave you a dirty look and rolled his eyes at you when Calum wrapped his arm around your waist for a picture. You furrowed your eye brows and took a good look at Myra. 

She looked almost exactly like you. Same build, same hair colour, same eye colour. The only difference is that she was slightly taller than you. You didn't know why he was replacing you, but it hurt. You pushed it out of your head however, and enjoyed the night with your best friend. 

It was a few months later when you were awoken by the constant dinging of your phone. You unlocked it, and saw you had a lot of unread messages from Luke, Ashton, Michael, Calum, and your other best friend Ashe about Chris’s new movie trailer, you sighed. 

You watched the trailer, and sighed when it looked like a recreation of a bunch of moments in your relationship with him, only Myra was in your place. 

Your fans and some of Chris’s had commented on it, and Myra immediately became aggressive with them, and insulted them. She told them that you were a nobody who could make Chris happy, which she was glad about because she made him happy how. 

Within minutes of this happening the hashtag #cancelmyrawoodfield was trending on twitter. You shamelessly went through the tweets and like and retweeted a couple. Then an idea popped in your head.

With a quick google search, you had a plan. 

You had written a new song called Deja Vu after the peoples choice awards, and it was had been recorded a few weeks ago, and you just had to decide on a date to release it, and make a decision on the music video. Her birthday was in about 3 months, which gave you enough time to get everything in place to drop on her birthday. 

Was it evil? Yes. Did you care? Not really. Besides, you inherited your pettiness from your mother and you knew she’d be proud of you. You called your manager and label, and got it planned out. 

When the new music video had been announced, Lisa called you and invited you home to watch it premiere with the family. You accepted, knowing Chris and Myra would be there, and that her birthday would get overshadowed by the release of your music video.

So, three weeks later, you were sitting with Lisa, Bob, Carly, Shanna, Scott, Chris and Myra in Lisa’s living room, waiting for the video to premiere.

Scott had picked you up at the airport earlier in the morning along with Carly and Shanna, and the four of you had a laugh about the face that no one acknowledged Myra’s birthday, not even Chris. It was mean, but no one liked her. 

Lisa absolutely hated her, but didn't want to upset Chris, so you got a call shortly after the PCA’s from her and the two of you ranted about her for a good two hours. 

You watched as the timer counted down from 10, and then the screen turned black. You took a deep breath and watched Chris out of the corner of your eye. 

You had searched for a while for a guy who looked similar to Chris, and you stumbled on Andrew Siwicki. He didn't look exactly like Chris, but it was close enough that everyone would know who the song was about if they didn't already. Andrew was a fan of Chris and hated Myra too, so he was more than glad to help you out. 

The music began to play, and you watched as the black screen faded in on two people walking along the beach, holding hands. 

“Car rides to Malibu Strawberry ice cream One spoon for two And trading jackets Laughing 'bout how small it looks on you,”

The next scene was a recreation of yours and Chris’s first date where you two had a picnic on the beach, and ended up splashing each other with the ocean water. Towards the end, everyone watched as Andrew picked you up and threw you into the water the same way Chris always did. 

You glanced at him, and could have burst into laughter at how uncomfortable Chris looked, but more importantly how angry Myra looked. 

“Watching reruns of Glee Being annoying Singing in harmony I bet she's bragging To all her friends, saying you're so unique, hmm,”

The next scene was you and Andrew (who was dressed as Ransom) on what appeared to be a recreation of the Knives Out set, running around with a dog that looked like Dodger chasing after you, the two of you laughing. The next shot was the two of you kissing behind a trailer, seemingly hiding from production. 

“So when you gonna tell her That we did that too? She thinks it's special But it's all reused That was our place, I found it first I made the jokes you tell to her when she's with you,”

The next scene was the two of you driving through Southern California, in a car that was almost identical to Chris’s. You two were laughing and singing along to the song, your hair whipping around you.

You took a deep breath, knowing this next scene would piss him right off.

“Do you get déjà vu when she's with you? Do you get déjà vu? (Ah), hmm Do you get déjà vu, huh?”

This scene was you, along with the rest of Chris’s family sitting around a living room that looked like the one you were in now, a Christmas tree full of presents in the corner. The camera panned across everyone as everyone was talking and settled on you and Andrew and the two of you recreated the scene where Chris whispered in your ear how much he loved you, and couldn't wait to start a family with you. 

“Do you call her Almost say my name? 'Cause let's be honest We kinda do sound the same,”

The screen showed you and Andrew saying goodbye at the airport, with 5 Seconds of Summer standing behind you. They weren't actually there when you left for tour, but Luke suggested it to piss Chris off, and you had agreed. 

Then there was a small montage of clips from tour, including a shot of Michael elbow dropping Ashton into a pool, which made everyone laugh, except Chris and Myra. The montage was followed up by you sitting on the floor of a dressing room and crying as you sent a text that said “I’m done.”

“Another actress I hate to think that I was just your type,”

Now you were on the red carpet, with Calum right beside you. You both were wearing the same clothes you wore on that night, you hair and makeup recreated perfectly. The camera unfocused on you as you turned and looked at Andrew and an actress named Alexa Morrison, who looked a lot like Myra, and they were recreating Chris and Myra’s actions perfectly. The camera swivelled around and came to rest pointing towards your face, as you looked in shock, and a single tear fell down your face. 

“I'll bet that she knows Billy Joel 'Cause you played her Uptown Girl You're singing it together,”

You were shown watching a movie trailer with Ashe sitting next to you, while you sobbed at what Alexa and Andrew were doing. You looked at the camera and began singing the song, while Ashe and everything else around you was frozen.

“Now I bet you even tell her How you love her In between the chorus and the verse (ooh) (I love you),”

You were sat on the bed in Chris’s red flannel that you had stolen before leaving for tour, and you were writing in the notebook aggressively with tears rolling down your face and singing.

“So when you gonna tell her That we did that too? She thinks it's special But it's all reused That was the show we talked about Played you the song she's singing now when she's with you,”

You were now being shown sitting on the couch, and watching Andrew run across the TV screen dressed as Captain America, an ice cream tub in your hand. You were wearing sweats and a t shirt, your hair in a messy bun.

“Do you get déjà vu when she's with you? Do you get déjà vu? Oh Do you get déjà vu?”

The camera circled around you before transitioning to the next scene. 

“Strawberry ice cream in Malibu Don't act like we didn't do that shit too You're trading jackets like we used to do (Yeah, everything is all reused),”

You were shown laying down in bed, and your eyes closing before an image of you and Andrew danced, dressed as Steve and Peggy in endgame, a scene Chris always told you the two of you would recreate one day. You had called Hayley and asked if it was okay, and she immediately said yes, and even came and watched you do the scene.

“Play her piano, but she doesn't know (oh, oh) That I was the one who taught you Billy Joel (oh) A different girl now, but there's nothing new (I know you get déjà vu),”

When your eyes opened, you were sitting at your piano, and playing while singing along. 

“I know you get déjà vu I know you get déjà vu,”

Suddenly, the piano disappeared, and you were left standing in an empty living room as the screen faded to black. 

The entire room burst into cheers as the video ended, except for Myra, who looked like she was going to murder you, and Chris who just clapped with a tight lipped smile. 

Later that night after all the kids had gone to bed and Lisa was driving Bob home,  Scott had pulled you into the kitchen under the pretences of ‘helping him fix a drink’, which ended up just being the two of you gossiping about Chris and Myra, and the music video.

Suddenly, Chris walked in, and nodded for Scott to leave. You cleared your throat and ignored him.

“That was a good song, and an amazing music video.” He said. “I can see you're just getting more and more talented as time-” He began, as you rolled your eyes, and looked at him. 

“What do you want?” You asked bluntly. 

“I just wanted to congratulate you.” He said, and you were about to open your mouth, when Myra came slinking in the room with an evil look on her face. 

“Nice job, Y/N. I’m glad I could inspire your music video.” She said sarcastically, and you could tell Chris was about to defend you, but you opened your mouth first. 

“Well, I’m glad I had such a snake like bitch to draw inspiration from,” You said, and heard Scott, his siblings burst into laughter in the living room. Myra’s jaw dropped and she turned to look at him. You looked up at Chris, who was leaning up against the counter, and biting back a smile.

“You’re just going to let her talk to me like that?” She asked, and Chris sighed.

“Myra, don't start. Not now.” He said, she scoffed. 

“I knew you still loved her. Only a pathetic loser could love someone as ugly and untalented as her.” She spat, and Chris growled. You felt tears welling up in your eyes, and you ran out of the room, your drink abandoned on the counter. 

You ran into your bedroom, where you shut the door, and fell onto the bed in tears. 

Back in the kitchen, Chris had gotten in Myra’s face, and was yelling.

“DON’T YOU DARE TALK TO HER LIKE THAT! SHE’S BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH SHIT IN HER LIFE, AND I WON’T ALLOW YOU TO ADD TO THAT!” He screamed, as Scott, Carly, and Shanna ran to the door, unsure of what to do. “SHE IS SO TALENTED, WAY MORE TALENTED THAN YOU! YOU’RE THE REASON PRODUCTION TOOK SO DAMN LONG, IT TOOK FOREVER TO GET A PERFORMANCE OUT OF YOU! YOU OPENLY INSULTED HER AND HER FANS HOURS AFTER YOU WERE ANNOUNCED TO BE IN THIS MOVIE, AND THEN HAD THE AUDACITY TO COME TO ME CRYING BECAUSE YOUR LITTLE FEELINGS GOT HURT!” He screamed, and Shanna ran and backed Chris away from her. 

“YOU’RE MY BOYFRIEND! AND ITS MY BIRTHDAY, YET HERE YOU ARE, CONGRATULATING HER FOR A SHITTY MUSIC VIDEO!” Myra screamed, and it was Scott’s turn to get in her face. 

“You need to leave. If you don't we’re going to call the cops.” He stated, and Myra rolled her eyes before storming out of the house. 

Scott turned back to Chris, and was shocked when he saw him in tears. 

“You need to work shit out with Y/N. It’s clear the two of you are still in love, and you need to figure it out as adults,” Scott said, his sisters nodding. Chris took a deep breath, and looked at your closed bedroom door.

Chris walked up to your bedroom door, and took a deep breath before entering the room where he used to sleep in every night.

He opened the door, and saw you curled up in a ball on the bed, your body still shaking. He smiled sadly, and walked into the room, closing the door behind him. He sat on the bed behind you, and rubbed your back gently. 

“I’m sorry. Not just for what Myra said, but for everything. For breaking your heart, and for causing you so much pain. I didn't realize how much I was missing you too until we watched that music video and I saw how truly broken you were. I never noticed that before now. And I’m sorry I didn't. If I’d have, I could have fixed this sooner, and we could be together right now.” He said.

You furrowed your brows at his last sentence and sat up.

“W-What?” You asked, and Chris moved closer. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a hug. 

“I still love you. So so much.” He smiled, and a tear rolled down his face. “You're my entire world, and not having you here is slowly breaking me apart. I didn't know just how much until today, but I can't live another day without you.” He said. “I’m so sorry I hurt you baby.” He sobbed, and his head buried itself into your hair. Your body shook with sobs too, and you turned around to face him.

“I love you too.” You sobbed out. “I never should have ended things, but-” You said, but were cut off by Chris’s lips on yours, and you felt yourself melting into it.

He pulled away a few seconds later. “Don't. It was my fault, not yours. I am so sorry, and I am going to spend the rest of my life making up for it, I promise.” He said, as he stood the two of you up and led you out of the room, and to his.

“Where are we going?” You asked, and Chris pressed a kiss to your cheek.

“I have to grab something.” He said. He opened his closet, and grabbed something out of the top corner before turning to you. 

“I said I planned on spending the rest of my life making it up to you, and I plan on keeping that promise.” He said, as he got down on one knee. You gasped, as he opened the box and your dream engagement ring was inside. “I want you for the rest of my life, and the next. Will you marry me?” he asked, tears pouring down his face, just like yours.

You nodded enthusiastically, and Chris stood up. He placed the ring on your ring finger and scooped you up. “I love you,” You choked out, and Chris sobbed harder into you. 

“I love you too, and I’m never letting you go.”

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[anotherbeingsworld]

Fly High

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x F!MC (Casey Valentine) 

Characters: Bryce Lahela, Casey Valentine and Teresa Martinez. 

Summary: The small moments with Mr.s Martinez were playing in their mind a year after the inevitable happens. 

TW: death. 

A/N: hi! I am sorta-back in the writing game? This idea has been living in my mind as OPH is coming. Its somewhat a tribute to Mrs. Martinez, and with a small touch of backstory between Bryce and Casey. I’m so sorry for not writing as much as I did before, uni is almost coming to an end for the 2nd semester which i am quite excited for. But, this story is dear to my heart. Idk why I love to write death, as i somewhat resonates it with life, but...this really is something I am very proud of. I like to dedicate this to those who wants to catch their dreams but, they couldn’t. Mrs. Martinez really gave us good advice, and...I’d like for it to stay in our minds. Also, I’m dedicating this to those who have leave a mark in my life. Its something that still blows me away everyday. Thank you, and enjoy! <3 

MY MASTERLIST

"I would take a 99% chance of dying over spending the next ten years in this hospital. To have even a 1% chance of exploring the world... of finally standing on the steps of Sacre-Coeur... I would give everything."—Mrs. Martinez.

---------

365 days ago. 

“Teresa Martinez were found dead at her hotel room in Buenos Aires.” was the topic in the hospital that day. The news of Mr.s Martinez leave the hospital devastated, as the world seems to stop for Casey. 

It doesn’t feel real. It’s not real, she is living her life happily in Paris...visiting the Sacre-Coeur. She can’t be...  

The thoughts were interrupted by the sound of ambulance coming in, a trauma case distracting her thoughts. She quickly joined in the other interns in the scene, but her mind falls onto Mr.s Martinez; the advice she left. A wisdom, as her passing is similar to a shooting star finally burns out. A light that has to be left behind. The days went by quicker, a trial, law-suit occurs in a blink of an eye. 

---------

PRESENT DAY 

It was a day of remembrance today, as Bryce and Casey make their way to the hospital in a slow pace. It was an emotional day for all of them, as all their memories were playing. All the laughter and joy, it was one of her favorite things about her. Her cheery persona was the heart of Edenbrook, and without her; a light has been burn, but a star has obtain someone special to keep on shining them from a far. 

Bryce was awfully quiet as well, as they walked down the road after spending their night together. Words were unspoken the night before, as the comfort was worth more than a sentence, a word and even a rhyme. 

Casey found herself to a stop, at the entrance. A distance away, trying to calmed herself down. He broke the silence by placing his hand on her cheek, caressing it with a small smile on his face.

‘You cam do this okay, we are all here for you.’ He said before pulling her into a kiss, as they melt into an embrace before going their separate ways. He stops in the mid of the hallway, his eyes fall onto her as they were met with a pair of emeralds that is already looking at him. 

They both resume their day, as the memories followed them throughout the hour. A reminder that she had left a mark to everyone in Edenbrook including one Casey Valentine and Bryce Lahela. 

----------

C A S E Y

The voices around her fades, as she sat on the empty bench, letting out a sigh as she was dismissed by Dr. Mirani upon her mistake today in the patient room. She remembers the embarrassment as the other interns let out a chuckle upon her mistake, moments before she was chewed. It was her second week as an intern, and she has made mistakes; what happened to her? 

Her thoughts were interrupted by someone occupying a seat the opposite of her. It was Mrs Martinez letting out a breath with her I.V stand on her side, looking at her with concern. She smiled upon her arrival as she remembers the events on their first meet which involves herself being lost in the hospital during her first day with Elijah. 

Weeks later, she became close to her as she learns upon her love towards travelling, visiting new places around the world; from the Bright Lights of Paris to the city of Madrid. And, the thought of the postcards hanging in her room bring joy to her, as a reminder of her own dream to be a doctor. 

“Casey dear, what’s with the long face?” She spoke, as Casey lets out a sigh.

“I just, I messed up again. It’s been a month, and I tend to get distracted with everything; friendships, the competition, dreading patients, and everything feels too overwhelming.” She burried her face in her hands, trying to hide her expression from the woman in front of her.

After a few moments of silence, she opened her eyes once more to be met with a concerned looking Mr.s Martinez. 

“Dear, you are not human if you never messed up. If I ever got a dollar for every time I took a wrong turn in life, I believe I can afford a mansion in the city of Stars.” 

Casey lets out a chuckle upon the mention of it, as the smile slowly appear on her face. 

“I think I’d be able to pay up my student loans that way.” 

There was a ripple of laughter between them, lighten up the mood releasing a knot on her shoulders that has been there for the day. 

“Indeed, but I saw you work that day; and I believe you are going places dear. You are unique, and the world is not ready to see the light in you dim. For the last decades of living, I made a huge mistake of not pursuing my dreams; and I don’t want to see you give up this dream Casey.” Her voice is demanding yet calm giving her a sense of hope. 

They were interrupted by Danny who is in the midst of a scavenger hunt for one Mr.s Martinez who apparently has left her room once again.

“There you are Mr.s Martinez, its time for your medicine once again.” Danny said as he smiles upon their interaction.

“I guess my time is up. I had fun chatting with you dear, I’ll see you soon.” Mr.s Martinez left with Danny leaving her alone with the wild thoughts once again. 

But, this moment; she received a sense of hope. Maybe it will be okay after all. 

----------

B R Y C E

The first day as a surgical intern at Edenbrook. He was finally a surgeon, all those years of bartending was worth it. His confidence somewhat pushed people away, as he shrugs the feeling off. He came here to be the best, and not to find friends. 

“Welcome interns. Today is the start of your careers as a surgical intern, and I am ecstatic for what all of you could bring to the table.” the Dr. Harper Emery exclaims happily, as she eyed the crowd of surgeons.

There was a round of applause, as the energy in the room was accumulated. 

“I will introduce you to Dr. Tanaka who is one of your surgical residents. He will be guiding you through this journey. Some of you will fall, quit, but some of you will rise and it will be worth it in the end.” 

After the introduction was done, the crowd was dismissed as the first rounds of the day begun for the surgical interns. 

His heart was filled with excitement, a new beginning. A new slate, and a new chance to not become known. That is the whole reason from the beginning. He is Bryce Lahela, a surgeon. Nothing else more. 

As the days go by, he has been able to witness the procedures that were taught during his years at medical school. His gaze was equivalent to one who looks at their favorite food which is filled with awed and joy. As someone who would fixed up the problems at home, surgery made him feel fulfill once again. It is giving him a purpose even after everything that has happened. 

“Dr Lahela, earth to Dr. Lahela.” A voice called for him brought him back from his subconscious. 

“Yes, I’m here.” He replied as the other interns were found laughing silently at the back.

“What is the first step to perform a  Laparoscopic appendectomy?’ Dr. Tanaka questioned him with Dr. Emery on his side observing. All of the eyes fall on him.

It was his moment to show that he is worth it today, and everyday for the rest of his life.

We will access the appendix through a few small incisions in the abdomen as a cannula which is a small, narrow tube  will then be inserted. It is used to inflate the abdomen with carbon dioxide gas which allows us to see the appendix more clearly...” He paused, as he took a deep breath before resuming his explanation. 

“Once the abdomen is inflated,  a laparoscope will be inserted through the incision. It is a long, thin tube with a high-intensity light and a high-resolution camera at the front which will display the images on a screen, allowing us to see inside of the abdomen and guide the instruments. When the appendix is found, it will be tied off with stiches and removed. The small incisions are then cleaned, closed, and dressed.” His final words fall as somehow equivalent to a mic-drop earning both smiles from the two doctors, as they resumed with rounds for the day. 

He took a minute to be proud of himself, as it is a reminder that he is here to stay. 

After rounds was over, he is officially a surgeon. He was assigned under Dr. Tanaka as he was his resident along with a few other interns. It was really happening, the suprised dream he had that was meant to be an escape; has came true today.

“Dr. Lahela, I would like you to scrub in with me to perform your very first appendectomy in the O.R” Dr. Tanaka said, as his smile was wide filled with joy which was taken away by the growling voices of the other interns behind him. 

He ignored them, as he started to scrub in. The looked that was dedicated to him was somewhat a deja vu moment, a moment where he was known as the son of a criminal. The hatred eyes that is coming to him, attacking him slowly as it was disguised by the confident exterior. 

He shake the thoughts away, getting himself prep in the O.R for his first surgery, but some demons never left as he tried his best. 

After they were dismissed, he took a turn to the cafeteria as a distraction. It wasn’t the best, maybe he hoped it would be like the movies; he would be the protagonist, the hero. Instead, it was the joker. 

He decides upon a snicker bar from one of the vending machines, as the line piled up. He took a seat at the edge of the room, with his pager present on the table. A breath was taken, calming the rage and expectations in him. 

The occupied thoughts were interrupter by a woman, looking at her once again with concern. 

“You should try this, it’s the cafeteria signature.” The voice was soft, comforting as she passed a pudding cup his way. Chocolate to be specific. 

“It’s just a pudding cup, mr.s” He chuckled upon the small cup, as Mr.s Martinez joined him on the empty seats. 

“It’s more than a pudding cup, it’s the cure of sadness actually.” She gestures upon him, as realization hits him.

“I didn’t hide it hard enough didn’t I?” 

She just shake his head, as he held the pudding cup in his hands. 

“You must be one of the new interns aren’t you, the outfit reminds me of a young Harper Emery during her own residency.” She gestures towards his green scrubs. 

“She was the legend, and you have seen her work here before??” His eyes shine upon the name.

“Son, I have been in this hospital for the last decade. I have known all the residents for some times now, there was a lot a person can go through for the last 10 years.” She stated as Bryce was filled with awe. 

“So, tell me what’s with the long face; I thought it was supposed to be an exciting start.”  

“I woke up today feeling on top of the world, but coming here feels like the past haunting me once again. The eyes, the look, and...it reminds me of something I always wanted to forget.” He lets out a small sigh upon the statement, it wasn’t the whole truth, but it feels go to have someone to listen. 

“The past, its always going to be there to haunt us. Sometimes, history repeats itself to prove how strong you are. You have been through a lot and you survived, you are a doctor today dear. This chance is bigger than any doubt, any pain, any memory that you have been through. I have seen the doctors here grow, some had left to pursue something easier, some even crack under the pressure, but some also thrive in excellence. Those people have fought to survive, and that’s what life is about dear. Fighting to survive, I am fighting too. It felt like a long journey for the past 10 years, but some adventures are worth to take to get to the final destination.” She ends the speech with a smile, as she left him with his thoughts once again. 

It feels like a fever-dream, but it is true. Maybe, he will make it after all with a pack of chocolate pudding by his side. 

Suddenly, his pager starts to beep. A new chance to start again, a new hope was in-stored. He took a final bite before leaving the room, feeling okay for the first time that day. 

----------

PRESENT DAY 

The day passes by quickly, as the reminders and memories kept on replaying in their minds. A sign from her, a message possibly, a lingering gift from the beyond. 

Casey met up with Bryce at the entrance, they have plans that evening. Both of them are already dressed in black which replaces the scrubs from the day; Luis invited them that day to pay their respects for Mrs. Martinez. The whole gang followed, as it is better to face the inevitable together- making it less scarier. 

The evening was peaceful, it was beautiful even. The leaves started to fall, its a start of a new season; some would say a new chapter. They met with Luis to pay their respects to the woman who had changed all of their lives, as they changed hers even for a moment. 

They paid their respects together, as Casey lets out of her silent wishes for Mrs. Martinez. It took a few moments before she was met with his comforting gaze once more, as she nods in completion.  Their reunion with Luis was a pleasant one, as he thanked them once more; despite everything. It echo’s in her mind, word-by-word. 

‘You give my mom her happiness, the one thing I couldn’t. I will never thank you enough for the little miracle that had happened. I was pissed when I found out, but...you manage to give her the signature Martinez’s smile once more. Thank you.’

Luis excused himself from the group, as they were pulled into a group hug. Mrs. Martinez gave each and everyone of them a purpose. Something that she couldn’t see before. 

After they bid their farewell,  Bryce and Casey walked hand-in-hand making their way back home as they talked about life, memories, and even happiness. It was a beautiful ending for their day, as the sunset was their backdrop, it was what life is all about. 

She finally started to live life, as he continues to pursue his dream. Maybe even found himself a new dream as well. 

----------

‘Life to one Teresa Martinez ; it was an unforgettable journey. She believed in the impossible, she took a risk that wasn’t mean to be taken by any other. She trusted me, and that was everything. But, the news - it was a tragedy. Death is a tragedy, as life was taken away from us. But, Teresa Martinez’s death reminds us of the dreams that we wanted to catch. The dreams that were left behind, the dreams that were abandoned in the dust. It was a dream that is worth following for, even if it ends upon your death bed. She believed in me during my dark times, and the reminder of one Teresa Martinez, is something we can’t turn back from. But, the advices and love she has left behind is a reminder that those who are gone...will always be with us, we can’t see them, but there are always there guiding us, cheering us on even after they have left us behind. Teresa Martinez lived a good life, and she will never be forgotten as she is flying high at somewhere better.’  

THE END. 

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[serendipitous-magic]

Question Game - AKA Oversharing Hour

I was tagged by @the-angry-pixie​! And I’m a chronic oversharer, so this was fun. I’ll put most of it under a read more line because there’s a LOT.

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? 

Black. Dunno why.

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? 

City city city city city city city city. I’m already going fucking batshit as it is, trapped in suburbia. I want to be able to actually do things, anything. Anything other than just being around the house and / or work. (And I felt like this before the pandemic started.) If you live in the city you can walk out your door and be somewhere else within like 5 minutes. A city park, a cafe, a train/subway, a local attraction, a museum, an artist’s booth, an outdoor market, etc. etc. 

Living in suburbia is like, well, to go literally anywhere you have to get into your car first and drive like 10 minutes minimum to get out of the neighborhood, and then if you want to go anywhere that’s not the grocery store you have to drive 20 minutes to get to another area of town, and then once you get there that’s the only place you can be without getting into your car again and getting a nice shot of anxiety from having to drive in traffic and have aggressive drivers roar up on your ass because you’re going 5mph above the speed limit and they want to be going 15mph above, and god help you if you have to merge, and oh by the way this is your only option to get around because public transit doesn’t really exist in any useful way in Big Suburbia, and nothing in within walking distance of your house except like 2 playgrounds and maybe one (1) gas station. (I hate it here lmao)

If I was trapped in the country I’d probably be chill with it for about a week, and enjoy the break, and the on day 8 I’d snap and go on a murdering spree out of stir-craziness.

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? 

I want to learn German and eventually be fluent in it. But since I’ve already started trying to learn and I don’t know if that counts, I’ll say cinematography. As in the actual working of the camera and lighting and all that. I can dream up some pretty striking images but actually getting the camera to do the settings needed to capture them is another story entirely.

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? 

Nope. I drink coffee and tea both, and I don’t put any kind of sweetener in either of them. I used to put a shitton of sugar in my coffee and honey in my tea, and then I had some mild eating disorder struggles in college and I never got back in the habit of putting stuff in my hot drinks after that. It just tastes wrong now, after being used to plain black coffee.

5. What was your favourite book as a child? 

Either the Harry Potter series or The Hobbit. My grandma would take care of me a lot when I was really little because my parents both worked full time to support us, and every single time I was at her house she’d sit us down at the dining room table and read something to me. Not Junie B. Jones or anything, either, but real, big, thick books. I loved the shit out of Harry Potter and The Hobbit; I would request them repeatedly. We pretty much went back and forth; we’d read Harry Potter, and then The Hobbit, and then when a new Harry Potter book came out we’d read that, and then The Hobbit again, and so on and so forth.

6. Do you prefer baths or showers? 

Showers. I love baths, they’re magical, but ain’t nobody got time for that unless it’s a special occasion. I got too much shit to do to spend an hour lying in the bathtub.

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? 

Vampire. Purely on the basis that if I was immortal maybe I’d finally have time to get my to-do list done and accomplish things. I’d miss the sunlight though.

8. Paper or electronic books? 

Paper. Here’s the thing, I really want to enjoy ebooks, but they just don’t hold my attention at all. Maybe I’m too conditioned by the internet to have a short attention span when I’m looking at a screen, idk.

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? 

I have a dark gray hoodie from the Seattle Aquarium from when I went on a road trip across America with my BFF a few years ago. It’s still my absolute favorite thing. I also enjoy my hiking boots a lot. (I wear them all the time, really they should just be called “everyday boots” haha)

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it?

I like my name and I would also like to start going by something different. Probably just because I’m a restless soul and I feel the best (and least trapped) when I’m on the move or when things are changing. The second I get somewhere I want to be somewhere else. That’s just how I am. Gwen is a cool name (I’ve personally met maybe 3 people in my whole life with the same name, face-to-face), but there’s a lot attached to that nickname that I don’t necessarily want to carry with me when I eventually escape my hometown and start down a new path.

11. Who is a mentor to you? 

A friend and former professor whom I usually refer to online as Producer Man. He’s a producer (as you may have guessed) who kind of took me under his wing after I was in one of his film classes in college. We work together on film projects now and he’s teaching me bit-by-bit (usually by way of long, rambling, tangential stories / lectures) about the industry. He’s a really good guy. Like, he for sure has a case of Old White Guy sometimes, but his heart is absolutely in the right place. “He’s a little confused, but he’s got the spirit.” He’s always leaving $10 tips at coffee places and working himself to the bone to get his students connected to jobs and internships that will help them with their careers. 

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? 

Yes, my stories. Actually, “famous” is not the right word. It’s just that fame is so tightly associated with success in our society. I want to be successful. Whether I’m widely known or not is pretty inconsequential to me. I want to make stories and I want them to have an impact. Books, film, etc. It’s about as simple as that.

13. Are you a restless sleeper? 

Oh yeah. I have trouble  sleeping as much as I should because I usually kind of jerk awake in the morning with this vague feeling that I forgot something or that I’m late for something. Also I stay up later than I should because I’m a night owl, and yet I like being up early because early mornings are great. And usually if I dream at all it’s something kind of stressful, like I dream that I forgot something important or did something wrong. I’m a Stressed Bean. 

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? 

I think so, yeah. I’m pretty obsessed with the idea of romance (I mean look at my OTPs), but heteronormativity got me fucked up enough that I’m bad at actually navigating real romantic feelings or relationships because society never prepared me for The Gay.

15. Which element best represents you? 

Fire, probably.

16. Who do you want to be closer to? 

My mom. We fight a lot and there tends to be a lot of tension between us. It’s a long complicated story. It boils down to, she really hurt me when I came out as not-straight at 15 and she lost all of my trust and even though she’s working on being less homophobic we’re still kind of trying to repair that divide seven years later.

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? 

Dude, I miss everyone. I’m an introvert and I’d love to be at a big party right now. I miss socialization. (As does everyone.) 

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. 

The first time I experienced deja vu, I was about eehhh 6? And I legitimately believed, for several years of my life, that I had future-predicting abilities. Like, supernatural-level future-predicting abilities. Because I didn’t really know what deja vu was, so I thought, every time it happened, that I had already ~seen~ that moment in my dreams or something. 🤣

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? 

Hm. (My immature ass brain yells “DICK.” No, brain. Those were dark heteronormative times. Also, grow up.) 

Probably some of the sushi in Seattle. I actually love sushi, it’s just that when it has full-on legs and eyeballs I start getting a little squeamish. I like the rolls and the kind where there’s some fish meat laid out on a nice little bed of rice, that’s delicious. But when they brought out the whole shrimp with legs still attached, I was like “How in the (redacted) am I going to chew / swallow that.”

20. What are you most thankful for? 

That I happened to be living with family when this pandemic hit. I was supposed to move out (and across the country, actually) as of... like 4 days ago, as it happens. That was the plan. Plane ticket was gonna be booked for 7/15/20. Obviously, things didn’t quite work out that way, because of the pandemic and a few other reasons. But I can’t imagine if I had been in an apartment living with roommates, or in an apartment on my own struggling to get by, when this happened. A lot of people couldn’t pay rent and lost their homes. I was very, very lucky to be where I was, when I was, and very lucky that I have family who let me stay in their house pretty much indefinitely while this clusterfuck of a year happens.

21. Do you like spicy food? 

Yes! I looooove spicy thai food especially. I miss the massaman curry from a local Thai place so much 😭

22. Have you ever met someone famous? 

Um. Maybe? I met Veronica Roth once at an author talk in the library where I work, although it was before I worked there. And I met some guy from New Zealand who’s famous for his sword fighting skills because my dad does sword fighting stuff. Don’t remember his name though.

23. Do you keep a diary or journal? 

Yep. I have to write down everything or I forget. (I often say I have the memory of a goldfish.) Also, I have this compulsion to record and preserve my experiences in life, because I feel like our time on Earth is so fleeting and if I don’t write down what’s important to me, I’ll forget it and lose it.

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil? 

Pen. Pencil gets smudged.

25. What is your star sign? 

Scorpio, which is ironic because they’re supposed to be ~hyper sexual~ I guess, and I’m like gray-ace or something in that zone.

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? 

Crunchy. Who eats soggy cereal? Are you okay? Do you need help? This is an intervention. 

27. What would you want your legacy to be? 

My stories. Life and sentience, as we experience it, is made up of just that: experience. And I read somewhere that, on some level, the human brain doesn’t differentiate that much between real life experiences and fictional experiences. I think that’s true. If you read or watch or hear the right story, it can really touch you and change the way you see life, or even change the way you live life. Stories have an incredible amount of power, both in individual people’s lives and in larger society. A huge amount of power. I want to be able to give people experiences that will Enrich Their Lives (do I sound like a lifestyle coach yet? 🤦🏼‍♀️), but also stories that actively do good in society. Positive representation, body positivity/neutrality, diversity, healthy relationships (Hollywood has a real problem with that). Hope. It’s the best thing I can think to give society, and storytelling is what I love to do.

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? 

I love reading. I wish I did it more. Part of my problem is that I get caught up in the hectic Rat Race of modern society and I never feel like I have time to sit down with a book for hours. Another problem of mine is that I start too many things at once, meaning I currently have like 5-10 (I lost count) books that I started reading, and I want to finish all of them, which means no progress ever gets done on any of them.

I last finished The Goldfinch, and I am currently working on The Secret History, Good Omens, Dune, a book my dad wrote, Directing Actors, Shot by Shot, The Way of Kings and I forget what else.

29. How do you show someone you love them? 

Physical affection, acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, and gifts, in that order. If I’m close to someone, whether romantically or not, I want all the affection. And I’m kind of dying in quarantine. 

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? 

Depends. I usually don’t put any in, because it’s just gonna water down the drink and get in the way of drinking it (you know when the ice attacks your face?), but I don’t really mind ice in my drinks.

31. What are you afraid of? 

Helplessness. I Have Control Issues. ✌️ Also stagnation.

32. What is your favourite scent? 

Amber. Or any scent that’s kind of autumn-y. You know what I mean. Some other examples include dryer sheets, wood smoke, cigarette smoke (my big sister used to smoke a long long time ago, and although I never saw her do it, I still associate the scent with her), pine resin, rain, that Mahogany Woods scent from Bath and Bodyworks.

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? 

If they introduce themselves as Pam I call them Pam. If they introduce themselves as Mr. Brown I call them Mr. Brown.

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? 

 If “money is not a factor” means I have an infinite amount of money to spend as I wish, then: buy land, build film studio complex on land, found company, hire fellow creatives, make movies.

If “money is not a factor” just means that I don’t have to work 40 hours a week to afford rent, then: move to Chicago, rent a nice studio apartment, write stories, maybe work 15 hours a week at a used bookstore or coffee shop to get me out of the house and socialize. Go to museums, go to the park, walk along Lake Michigan, go to gay bars, ride the train, brave the Illinois winters, own a cat, paint, play guitar. Build my actual career on writing / storytelling. Probably also do some filmmaking.

Alternatively: buy an RV (not like an American Trailer Park shitty RV, I’m talking the NOICE ones), buy good film equipment, be a freelancer, live in RV driving around to wherever the next filming location is. Life is a road trip and I’m doing what I love. Writing, storytelling, filmmaking. My home would travel with me. Writing in cafes; roadside attractions; early mornings on the road with coffee in the cup holder as the sun comes up; being able to go anywhere to film; always experiencing something new.

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? 

I’ve lived in a landlocked state my whole life, so I guess swimming pools. And, listen, I CANNOT get water in my mouth at the beach without wondering exactly how many kids have peed (or worse) in that water. (I know that’s a thing with pools too, but pools get cleaned.)

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? 

Wonder what some poor European is doing in America right now. But if it was $50, I’d probably yell “DID ANYONE DROP THIS?” and then take it if no one speaks up.

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? 

A few times, yeah.

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? 

Grades are not the end-all-be-all. Skip some homework assignments to spend time with friends. Skip class sometimes. I’m serious. If you make school your top priority, even over your own personal life, you will come away with good grades and a lot of regret and missed opportunities. Learning is HELLA important, and very very little of it happens inside a school building. Get a 15 hour weekend or after-school job in high school, befriend your coworkers, and have fun with it. Use your paychecks however you want. Join a school club - one that you’re actually interested in. Do stupid shit. Light your textbooks on fire after graduation or go to the 24 hour Wendy’s at 2am with your friends or kiss that person you met at summer camp or sleep on the porch because it’s too hot to sleep inside. Be smart and safe, but follow your whims. If you let yourself fall into routine, apathy will poison you.

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? 

I already have a couple small ones, but the one I want next is a four-leaf clover. Don’t know where. Maybe my right inner wrist or maybe an ankle. Or like behind my ear. Luck has saved me so many times. (See above, with how I happened to be living with family when COVID hit.)

40. What can you hear now? 

Swamp cooler downstairs, the clock ticking in my office, cars outside, people moving around the house. I’m surprised the neighbor kids aren’t shrieking their absolute heads off as per the usual. 

41. Where do you feel the safest? 

When I’m alone and unobserved. 

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? 

TMI warning, but I absolutely despise public bathrooms. How am I expected to pee when there’s somebody sitting like three (3) feet away, with only a partial wall between us, hearing everything that’s going on? My fight or flight response simply will not allow it. It’s too awkward and therefore Not Safe. Either that public restroom has to be empty except for me, or it has to be so loud and bustling that ain’t nobody hearing anything. Anything in-between and I’m in hell.

43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be? 

The ‘80s. Let’s be honest, even that far back makes my life (as a woman, and as a gay person) hella difficult. But, consider this: it’s the ‘80s. Furthermore, consider this: a part-time job might have actually supported me and paid rent back then 😱 Holy fucking shit. Sign me up. I just wouldn’t want to go any further than than like 1980, because again: lesbian. Being a woman in the past = even harder than it is today, being gay in the past = even harder than it is today, being a gay woman in the past = oh no.

44. What is your most used emoji? 

In order of descending frequency:

😂🙄😊😁🤦🏼‍♀️👀😬🌈🤷🏼‍♀️😙

45. Describe yourself using one word. 

Creative

46. What do you regret the most?

Wasting my entire teenage experience. (See #38.) I did quite literally nothing with my life except homework for like 18 years. If I had taken even a tenth as much time for myself as I did for school, I would be so much farther along as a person today.

47. Last movie you saw? 

In the theaters? ........ uh. Shit, I don’t actually remember. It’s been like 5 months. (As it has for everyone.) But the last movie I watched was Lights Out, because I’ve been watching the director’s youtube channel. You could tell it was low-budget and that the director was still kind of finding his stride, but it had a lot of heart behind it and the creators clearly gave a fuck, which made it enjoyable. I am firmly in the camp of “not everything has to be a Magnum Opus or have a multi-billion dollar budget to be a good movie.” If I engaged with it and got some sort of emotional experience out of it, and if it had a good message, I consider it a good movie.

48. Last tv show you watched? 

I don’t usually watch a whole lot of TV shows (who has the time?) but I think the last thing I watched was either The Witcher or that new Unsolved Mysteries miniseries on Netflix. Oh and I was watching Dead to Me because I just love Linda Cardellini’s face and I want to wrap Judy up in a blanket and cuddle the shit out of her and protect her from all things 🥺 My precious beautiful unstable sweet murder baby.

49. Invent a word and it’s meaning. 

Apapanic. It’s where you’re so stressed about things that half of your brain is panicking but the other half is so overwhelmed that it circled all the way back around to being calm to the point of apathy, so you just kind of sit there like

[noahhernandez]

02/02/2020

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? I.. do not know, yes? maybe? lol.  2. You talked to an ex today, correct? Incorrect, why did you say correct like i’m supposed to 3. Have you taken someones virginity? no 4. Is trust a big issue for you? I am huge on trust. I have a hard time trusting people with like 100% of everything.  5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? I don’t like anyone, plus the last person I hung out with was Bri 6. What are you excited for? Nothing! The load of homework I have but I am doing this instead to waste time!  7. What happened tonight? its 3pm idk nothing. I will be doing nothing 8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? Hell nah! I love when my bitches are throwing up and falling we having a good time!  9. Is confidence sexy? IDk sure. 10. What is the last beverage you had? A cup of coffee 11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? Bri, Michelle, Faith, and eh.. Angel?  12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? It is the only pair of jeans I own 13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? Yesterday was saturday, and i did nothing but work!  So this upcoming saturday, I will be doing the exact same thing and just working. 14. What are you going to spend money on next? My rent because it was due yesterday, then my other bills 15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? I dont even know the last person I kissed.. Michelle? no.. Braeden? no too long ago. Idk who knows but NO  16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? I’ll still be a fucking bitch!  17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? oo.. I’m not sure. Maybe Janett 18. The last time you felt broken? I would want to say back in July? or June. summer time though 19. Have you had sex today? no 20. Are you starting to realize anything? no, i am stupid 21. Are you in a good mood? yes sure I am just sitting 22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? i cant swim! 23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? dark brown yes 24. What do you want right this second? um iced coffee 25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? when I was in that situation i just asked why 26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? I have no idea, my hair used to be black until recently now it is like getting dark brown which makes me mad 27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? NO 28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? i was reading twitter interactions between me, alisa, and sam earle lmao 29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? I miss seeing Angel every day, I miss seeing Adrian every day, and I’m sure I’ll miss seeing Courtnie every day. but not like i miss them in that specific way yet 30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? no, i did that and it like kind of allows them to think they got a free pass for doing something wrong. this can be related to any situation too 31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? talking to in which way because I do not think so no 32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? i dont like anyone 33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? I drink coke, but I dont have coke at my apartment. I drink it here and there at work, and if I’m going to get food, i’ll sometimes get it. I would say like the amount I drink could be equivalent to 3 cans a week. 34. Listening to? Bellyache by Billie Eilish 35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? Only when I’m doing inventory at work or making the rough draft of the schedule, working on math which is rare, or making  a plan/rough draft of events 36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? home ? 37. Do you believe in love at first sight? no! 38. Who did you last call? Leann  39. Who was the last person you danced with? no one 40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? IF it was Braeden then because I was dating him IF it was Michelle it is because I was drunk 41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? EW I dont even know i hate cupcakes 42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? no 43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? more than likely 44. Do you tan in the nude? i dont tan 45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? doesnt matter to me 46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? No 47. Who was the last person to call you? Leann, lol 48. Do you sing in the shower? NO 49. Do you dance in the car? um? I guess 50. Ever used a bow and arrow? the plastic ones yes 51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? shit probably back in 2008 or some shit  52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? I can not stand musicals 53. Is Christmas stressful? working christmas is stressful and time consuming  54. Ever eat a pierogi? i can not even pronounce that 55. Favorite type of fruit pie? apple ! !  56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Lawyer 57. Do you believe in ghosts? i dont know ..  58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? hmm no. 59. Take a vitamin daily? yes, I take vitamin d3 60. Wear slippers? no 61. Wear a bath robe? no 62. What do you wear to bed? sweat pants and a tshirt  63. First concert? PAPA ROACH 64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? i love the walmart 65. Nike or Adidas? I own both does not matter to me 66. Cheetos Or Fritos? hot cheetos 67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? neither both are disgusting well actually i would eat the peanuts  68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? i dont know i like a few but i dont go out of my way to listen to taylor swift 69. Ever take dance lessons? hell no 70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? anything that has steady income 71. Can you curl your tongue? yes?  72. Ever won a spelling bee? no 73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?  honestly i dont know 74. What is your favorite book? I am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter 75. Do you study better with or without music? With 76. Regularly burn incense? noo 77. Ever been in love? Sadly yes 78. Who would you like to see in concert? OMAR APOLLO 79. What was the last concert you saw? Lil Debbie ??? shit that was a long time ago 80. Hot tea or cold tea? iced tea 81. Tea or coffee? coffee 82. Favorite type of cookie? oatmeal raisin 83. Can you swim well? i cant swim at all lol 84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? yes wtf 85. Are you patient? depends on what it is for 86. DJ or band, at a wedding? DJ 87. Ever won a contest? no 88. Ever have plastic surgery? not yet 89. Which are better black or green olives? BLACK olives 90. Opinions on sex before marriage? i dont care i personally dont have sex, now, until i’m close/comfortable with someone. I dont hook up or whatever 91. Best room for a fireplace? a living room 92. Do you want to get married?  no

[killerqueenjoy]

99 Question Tag

okay okay I know i got tagged to do this like a month ago on my main blog by @santonicababy iM SORRY LIN ILY BUT THIS WAS SO DAMN LONG

1) DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED

I sleep in the room where everybodies closets are and they all gotta be closed goddamn do you know how spooky it is to even have one open during the night

2) DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS

my parents do, but alas I don't use them in case they have silicones or sulphates in them because I got a whole lotta curls to protect

3)DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT?

if this refers to the sheet protecting the mattress, then my answer is in because how the fuck would you be able to sleep with that moving around???

4) HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE

NO SORRY IM BORING

5)DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST IT NOTES

heck yeah, but for random shit

6) DO YOU EVER CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM

nee my parents are fancy fuckers who use the coupons on their phone (our local supermarket has a damn app skskksksk)

7) WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES

a bear because its one giant son of a bitch and not millions of tiny motherfuckers and also I've never been stung by a bee and intend to keep it that way because majority of my family seem to be allergic

8) DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES

nope! I have a couple beauty spots on my hands and face but thats kinda it

9) DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES

not really but if I've been told to smile then its 200% dead inside

10) WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE

i find many things annoying

11)DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK

only when i go up and down stairs, but i also try to make sure i step with each foot equally (if that makes sense) and i step on only certain colour tiles when im bored

12) HAVE YOU EVER PEED IN THE WOODS

the real question is have i ever been in the woods? both answers are no

13) HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS

refer to question 12

14)ummmm idk what this question is meant to be curse you Lin

15)DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS

nope, the idea weirds me out

16) HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK

none, this week and in general

17) WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED

one person and a long yet smol doggo size

18) WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK

Eddie from the Rocky Horror Picture Show has been stuck in my head for the whole week so yeah i guess that

19)IS IT OKAY FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK

HeLL YEAH DUDE HAVE YOU SEEN RAMI MALEK IN PINK

SKSKSKSKS END MY LIFE

but yeah, anyone can wear anything they want to wear (although a suit made out of meat might not be wise)

20) DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS

dudeeeee scooby doo and tom and jerry are my jam I watch them on the regular (among other things)

21)WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE MOVIE

uhhm idkkkkk I tend to repress bad movies sksksk

22)WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME

idk shove it in the closet ig at least it will be hidden behind my sexuality

23)WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER

I usually only drink before or after but ig water??? cooldrink if I'm in a restaurant

24)WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN

depends on the nug

25)WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE FOOD

How dare you assume i only have one favourite

tbh it depends cos i love pizza and pasta and stuff but then i cannot live with my granny's curries ksksmks

26) WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE

borhap, sing street, rhps, the natm movies, the harry potter movies, any mcu movies

27)LAST PERSON YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU

ahhahahahahahha bold of you to assume anyone wants to do that

28) WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT

nope but I was a catrobat which is basically my preschools acrobatics team that was actually really terrible

29)WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE

nahh m8

30) WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER

this week for a transactional task at school (It was in Afrikaans and I got a C skskskks)

31)CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL IN A CAR

omg no

32)EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET

not old enough to drive!

33)EVER RAN OUT OF GAS

my parents never have for as long as i can remember

34)WHATS YOUR FAVOURITE KINDA SANDWHICH

cheese because I am actually John Deacon

35)BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST

MUFFINS!!!!

36)WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME

school nights its 11pm otherwise i dont have one lol

37)ARE YOU LAZY

YES BUT MY LAZINESS MAKES ME ANXIOUS OOF

38)WHEN YOU WERE A KID WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN

we dont celebrate that here but i rly want to it seems fun!

39)WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN

Ram, which is really cool because im an Aries, so I'm sheep squared

40)HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK

English, Afrikaans (at a basic highschool level), I could speak very vERY basic isiZulu when I was younger but I'm not sure about now, I know a bit of French and Telugu, and I'm gonna start learning Hindi soon!!

41) DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS

nee

42) WHICH ARE BETTER, LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS

i didn't play much with legos and i have no idea what the second one is rip

43)ARE YOU STUBBORN

to an extent

44)WHO IS BETTER, LENO OR LETTERMAN

I kept reading Leno as Lenin ffs

45)EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS

I watch them occasionally with my granny, but I don't keep up with them very well (Kasamh Se is my shit tho)

46)ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS

no, im afraid of falling in general tho

47) DO YOU SING IN THE CAR

My dad and I bop frequently to Never Gonna Give You Up in the car, and also classic bollywood songs (we have even learnt the choreography for some)

48)DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER

i perform

49) DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR

well theres not exactly much space

50)EVER USED A GUN

nope

51)LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER

not sure

52)DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY

most are but thats why i like them

53) IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL

we don't celebrate because we're not Christian (we still eat a lot and exchange presents tho), but it can get stressful if we have to visit extended family, mostly because my extended family loves to insult everything about me so thats great!

54)EVER EAT A PIEROGI

not i good sir

55) FAVOURITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE

never had one, it doesnt appeal to me

56) OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID

a vet

57)DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS

i am a ghost

58)EVER HAD A DEJA-VU FEELING

not that i remember

59)DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY

yes, I take a multi vitamin, a vitamin D pill because I'm vitamin D deficient, and im not sure if this is a vitamin or not but i take evening primrose oil so that im not outwardly a bitch due to pms

60)DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS

i wear slipper socks, because my doggo got jealous of my doggie slippers and murdered them in cold blood

61)DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE

i have one and rarely use it because i forget it exists

62)WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED

a random shirt and pants, though ive been known to kick pants off (ive been doing that since birth), occasionally i manage to get the matching pj set

63)WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT

ive unfortunately never been to a concert before

64)WALMART TARGET OR KMART

ive never seen any of these stores in my country

65)NIKE OR ADIDAS

i own neither

66) CHEETOS OR FRITOS

neither

67)PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS

Peanuts because thats my doggos name!

68) EVER HEARD OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN

no sorry

69)EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS

i went to a bhangra class for about a year, and we performed for our parents at the end of that year (i was in one of the few groups that didnt have to dance in lehengas thank goodness)

70)IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE

YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING

probably something creative, but I don't mind as long as they're happy with what they're doing and its not harming others!

71)CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE

yep

72)EVER WON A SPELLING BEE

never entered one, having to spell out loud makes me anxious

73)HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY

i think so

74)OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS

nope

75)OWN A RECORD PLAYER

i wish

76)DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE

my granny burns incense while I'm at school because my mom and i both get really sick when its just been lit and the smell is strong. Going to the temple is a damn nightmare because of it

77)EVER BEEN IN LOVE

no, too busy fangirling

78)WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT

oof a long list

Queen, Twenty One Pilots, Waterparks, Frank Iero and the Future Violents (ffs fronk stop changin the name), Panic! at the Disco...to name a few

79)WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW

refer to question 63

80)HOT TEA OR COLD TEA

both

81)TEA OR COFFEE

coffee

82)SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES

sugar cookies

83)CAN YOU SWIM WELL

i wouldn't drown, but im no professional either

84)CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE

im doing it right now

85)ARE YOU PATIENT

eh

86)DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING

I've only ever been to Hindi,Tamil and Telugu weddings and lemme tell you 90% of the time bands flop at those weddings because they can't sing the classics without failing miserably, so DJs are generally better. However, in that case, if a band can perform those songs, then I'd prefer a band ig

87)EVER WON A CONTEST

yep, a couple of reading contests

88)HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY

nope, not planning on it

89)WHICH ARE BETTER, BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES

dont like olives rip

90)CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET

i can knit!

in fact, my friends and i are so cool that we're in our schools knitting club (which besides myself, @grandfunnyemopainter and @imjustabruh , only has 2 other members)

91)BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE

lounge or study/library

92)DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED

i guess, its not on my goal list tho

93)IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED

no

94)WHO WAS YOUR HIGHSCHOOL CRUSH

currently in highschool, and in love with the borhap cast, sebastian stan, stephanie beatriz and band members (theres more but yeah)

95)DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY

nope, i have only two ways to deal, be a total pushover or a total bitch

96)DO YOU HAVE KIDS

nope

97)DO YOU WANT KIDS

kind of undecided, but i do want more pets

98)WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR

Dark Blue

99)DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW

my dog, shes been ignoring me for about four hours now because I stayed at school for an extra hour (for knitting club!)

@softspaceboibrian @roger-taylor-owns-my-wigg @im-inlovewithmycar do it cowards

[insarations]

random questions just cause...hereeell we go

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? *chuckles* yup

2. You talked to an ex today, correct? yes

3. Have you taken someones virginity? ya

4. Is trust a big issue for you? no in fact I trust people way too much

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? don't really like anyone atm

6. What are you excited for? hmm idk really. I guess my week off of work in a few weeks

7. What happened tonight? not much, just chilling, rainy day

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? ehh..idk it's just not my thing. but I wouldn't call it "disgusting"..if that's fun for them then cool

9. Is confidence cute? for sure, just not tooo much..fine line there

10. What is the last beverage you had? water and an iced vanilla latte

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? hmm. not any really besides my dad

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? yes a couple

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? I'm not sure yet. Probably go somewhere with a friend or see a movie

14. What are you going to spend money on next? probably either food or coffee

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? no

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? not significantly but I feel like I'm always changing in some way, even if it's gradual

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? not gonna put a name but one of my best friends

18. The last time you felt broken? that's hard to answer cause like i still do, i have for a while now but I mean it's not as bad as it was. about a year ago

19. Have you had sex today? sadly no lol

20. Are you starting to realize anything? a lot of things every second of every day. adulthood has a lot of fucking wake up calls

21. Are you in a good mood? not necessarily in a good mood but i'm not really in a bad mood either..it's just kinda like meh lol

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? hmm.... maybeee... depends

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? no. his is brown, mine are blue

24. What do you want right this second? not to have to go to work tomorrow XD and idk maybe a good ol makeout session and/or cuddles

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? uhhh well like if i were in a relationship with them then wtf, no no lol not good. but like if it was someone i'm not together with then...cool, do whatever the hell you want

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? pretty much

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? noo.. like i mean they don't gotta be some sorta jokester/comedian or nothing but just..don't be so serious. laughing is the best

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? probably one of my cats lol

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? always do

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? for the most part. but idk...I don't think I could give someone who cheated another chance. that's just crossing a line of trust that like..I could forive but I wouldn't be able to be with them again. I just don't understand anyone who cheats

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? that would be my dad so no XD

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? hmm hard to answer. but I suppose she does

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? nooo I love soda. with that said though, since the beginning of the year i've cut back on it alottttt for my health. but i still drink it maybe once a week. i used to drink it literally every day multiple times a day.

34. Listening to? currently juice WRLD

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? sometimes at work but not often

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? yup

37. Do you believe in love at first sight? yes and no. i hate that question, it's old lets move on lol

38. Who did you last call? i cant remember, probably one of my parents. i dont talk on the phone much

39. Who was the last person you danced with? I dont dance really except in the car with my friends..our own version of dancing XD

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? cause she was my girlfriend. girlfriends do that lol

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? a few weeks ago i think

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? no..we don't hug often really lol we're just not that way but i do hug my mom every now and then

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? probably a million times

44. Do you tan in the nude? noooooooo. i burn so easy i'd probably turn into one giant tomato

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? never

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? nah :/ I miss that

47. Who was the last person to call you? a million car sales people cause i'm stupid and entered info on a website and now it's like the neverending fucking story of sales people calling me like heyyyy buy a jeep and its like yes mam id love to but i'm poor so how about not right now stop calling me thank you bye

48. Do you sing in the shower? heck ya. except not really lately cause i shower at the gym...they don't wanna hear that XD

49. Do you dance in the car? yasss

50. Ever used a bow and arrow? yes, I did archery at camp as a kid. fun times

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? 10th grade highschool photo. or if it counts, my aunt took my graduation photos..she perty professional

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? there definitely can be cheesy ones but those are usually the ones i love XD

53. Is Christmas stressful? these days yes -_- never as a kid. I miss those days

54. Ever eat a pierogi? I don't think I have actually

55. Favorite type of fruit pie? not a huge fruit pie person but I guess...apple or lemon. I really don't eat fruit pie though. If  it's gonna be pie then I prefer something like chocolate or peanut butter

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? so many different things, that's why i never settled on anything XD

57. Do you believe in ghosts? I think so..in a certain way.. like not in the way they show on tv and movies. just idk, i do believe in spirits. There's some stories in my family they are kinda hard not to believe or explain

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? allllll the time

59. Take a vitamin daily? nah, probably should ?

60. Wear slippers? not anymore, I used to alot

61. Wear a bath robe? same as above. I get way too hot for that now lol

62. What do you wear to bed? usually just shorts or boxers and a tank top or tshirt. sometimes sweatpants dependning  

63. First concert? reba mcentire lol

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? target. walmart for certain things. but target is just fun

65. Nike or Adidas? neither really but adidas if i have to pick

66. Cheetos Or Fritos? cheetos

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? I like both, but peanuts

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? back in the day, crazier. then it was blank space or shake it off...but recently, delicate. many different taylor eras XD

69. Ever take dance lessons? when I was in elementary school and 6th grade yes

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? umm hmm honestly no. whatever makes them happy :)

71. Can you curl your tongue? nah, i dont got nothing special like that XD

72. Ever won a spelling bee? nahh

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? yesss

74. What is your favorite book? several...looking for alaska by john greene, the pawn series by robin roseau, and look again by lisa scottoline

75. Do you study better with or without music? havent studied in so long O_o but probably with

76. Regularly burn incense? not regularly. I do from time to time but not as much anymore, my mom hates it lol

77. Ever been in love? yes

78. Who would you like to see in concert? so many... fleetwood mac or just stevie nicks, ben howard, maroon 5, pvris, ariana grande, lana del rey, the weeknd, pink, coldplay, imagine dragons lady gaga, andrew belle, adele, lorde, gwen stefani even though I already did lol...i could go on all day. bottom line, i need to see more concerts

79. What was the last concert you saw? Gwen Stefani a couple years ago

80. Hot tea or cold tea? cold

81. Tea or coffee? coffee

82. Favorite type of cookie? alllllll the cookies. lately m&m. but chocolate chip is always a winner

83. Can you swim well? yes

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? nahh

85. Are you patient? yes and no. depends on the setting and circumstance lol. I think I'm fairly patient compared to other people but sometimes at work..if the right people push my buttons then oohhh boyyy no

86. DJ or band, at a wedding? hmm.. neither honestly just put on the damn ipod playlist XD

87. Ever won a contest? a couple when I was little lol

88. Ever have plastic surgery? noo. no thank you

89. Which are better black or green olives? greeeeeen

90. Opinions on sex before marriage? go for it. I used to think alot differently when I was younger cause I'm a christian, grew up with traditional values. but *sighs*... things change lol sex is great, go for it but be safe people XD

91. Best room for a fireplace? ANY ROOM. omggg. they should have fireplaces in the bathroom. what a great idea you can just warm yourself while you sitting there haha genius

92. Do you want to get married? If I meet the right person but if I don't ever get married that's fine too lol it's not a priority for me really but if I do meet the right person then for sure

[la-anarchy]

1-92 😏😏

well fuck me anon lmao thanks guess ill get to it hahahah

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? - ugh yea fuck it i prob would

2. You talked to an ex today, correct? - nope i did not

3. Have you taken someones virginity? - I have

4. Is trust a big issue for you? - It is

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? -nope

6. What are you excited for? - country fest on july 5th

7. What happened tonight? - went to my friends and played with his baby daughter

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? - not if its not an every day thing

9. Is confidence cute? - of course

10. What is the last beverage you had? - whiskey and coke

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?- honestly not many

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? - lmao nah

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? - ummm im not sure really prob gym and drink

14. What are you going to spend money on next? - um gas

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? - lmao no (also havent kissed anyone in months)

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? - I mean i guess so probably

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? - my best friend kinda

18. The last time you felt broken? - about a week ago

19. Have you had sex today? - nope its been almost 10 months

20. Are you starting to realize anything? - oh yea

21. Are you in a good mood? - I am

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? - sure fuck it

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? - yes

24. What do you want right this second? - i could go for some cuddles or rough sex.. both ?

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? - i dont know honestly

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? - yes

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? - no i dont think so

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? - my friends baby

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? - always

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? - maybe not in the way they always want

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? - na hes a good friend now

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? - yea id say so

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? - no but i try to not drink it

34. Listening to? - king of the hill

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?- yes

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?- i have a good idea

37. Do you believe in love at first sight? - no

38. Who did you last call? - my best friend

39. Who was the last person you danced with? - my ex

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? - we broke up and it was like a good bye kiss 

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? - i really dont know lol

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? - yes

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? - probably

44. Do you tan in the nude? - sometimes

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? -like as in not kiss the person, no i wouldnt take it back

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? - nope

47. Who was the last person to call you? - my friend

48. Do you sing in the shower? - every time

49. Do you dance in the car? - hell yea

50. Ever used a bow and arrow? - yurp

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? - the Marine Corps ball52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? - nah

53. Is Christmas stressful? - hahha yea

54. Ever eat a pierogi? - yes?

55. Favorite type of fruit pie? - peach or blueberry56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? -actor, doctor, teach, Marine, cop

57. Do you believe in ghosts? - yea i think i do

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? - yea i used to a lot when i was a kid

59. Take a vitamin daily? - nope

60. Wear slippers? - only during the winter

61. Wear a bath robe? - i used to

62. What do you wear to bed? during the summer just boxers but in the winter pj pants and a Tee

63. First concert? - Brittany Spears lmao

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? - wal-mart or target

65. Nike or Adidas? - ariat lamo but i guess nike

66. Cheetos Or Fritos? - cheetos

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? - peanuts

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? - ummmm idk the name of it but i did like one of her old “country” songs

69. Ever take dance lessons? - not professional but i did take a few line dancing ones and my ex was a dance teacher and she tried to teach me some moves

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?- i wanna become a cop now that ive already become a Marine

71. Can you curl your tongue? - yes

72. Ever won a spelling bee? - once i was 5

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? - yes

74. What is your favorite book? - um i have a lot of favorites

75. Do you study better with or without music? - without

76. Regularly burn incense? - candles sometimes

77. Ever been in love? - yes

78. Who would you like to see in concert? - i really wanna see luke combs and upchurch haha

79. What was the last concert you saw? -ummmm i think it was FLGAL

80. Hot tea or cold tea? - cold

81. Tea or coffee? - coffee

82. Favorite type of cookie? - chocolate chip or peanut butter

83. Can you swim well? - yes

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? - yes

85. Are you patient? - sure haha

86. DJ or band, at a wedding? - DJ

87. Ever won a contest? - yes

88. Ever have plastic surgery? - no

89. Which are better black or green olives?- black

90. Opinions on sex before marriage? - all the sex

91. Best room for a fireplace? - family room, basement, or if you got a big ass bedroom

92. Do you want to get married? - very much so

[sneebyy]

1-92 for the make me admit stuff ask :3

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? I mean I already have soooo :P @calibratedcatnip

2. You talked to an ex today, correct? Nop

3. Have you taken someones virginity? Nop

4. Is trust a big issue for you? Not really, I do my best to trust people and usually succeed c:

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? No, it’s been four days since I last hung out with my love and that’s not recent at all and she left so long ago and I’m dying ;-;

6. What are you excited for? Seeing my love again, being done with finals, sleeping, and not being tired.

7. What happened tonight? I took a nap then woke up at like 11:30pm

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? It can be cute or just kinda sad depending on the girl. Not really disgusting though.

9. Is confidence cute? Depends.

10. What is the last beverage you had? SimplyTM Strawberry Lemonade

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? My love, my mom, and my sister

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? No lol

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? I mean today is saturday night and I already slept a bunch and I’m gonna do homework so sleep and do homework.

14. What are you going to spend money on next? Probably food

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? Yesss!!!

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? I hope so. I have a lot I need to improve about myself. I hope I can at least a little bit within the next three months. I’m not sure though.

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? My love and my friend Grant

18. The last time you felt broken? I always feel a little broken because of my sleep stuff, but mentally I haven’t in a while in a long time, so that’s good.

19. Have you had sex today? Nop

20. Are you starting to realize anything? uh. n-no? is something going on here? am I missing something?

21. Are you in a good mood? Yeah I’m in a pretty okay mood c:

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? Sharks swim in the ocean and the ocean is cold and I don’t like swimming in cold water so no

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? Yes! And my mom’s.

24. What do you want right this second? 3 naps laying with my love ;-;

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? Idk, I’d be really surprised tbh because I trust her a lot. But I’d be really sad and curl up in a ball in bed then idk

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? Yup

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? Nop

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? Probably a meme about cats

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? My love ;-; a lot ;-;

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? Depends

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? That would’ve been uhhhhh. That guy I was playing warframe with. So no? I mean I think he’s a guy. probably. really don’t know for sure tbh.

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? Yessss! My looooove! 

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? No I drink soda. Not super often, but I have nothing against it and do occasionally

34. Listening to? The white noise of my space heater

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? Ye, I never use pen, and I don’t take notes digitally or anything.

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? My love is at her house I think?

37. Do you believe in love at first sight? I mean the idea of it is cute, but idk. not really.

38. Who did you last call? My looooove! last night!! we talked for a while and it was so nice c:

39. Who was the last person you danced with? I’ve never danced with anyone I don’t think?

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? Because my love is cute and wonderful and I love her :3

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? too long ago

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? nop

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? evry day

44. Do you tan in the nude? No, I don’t tan

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? Nop. Never :3

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? Almost actually! I talked to my love on the phone until I was gonna sleep but then I couldn’t sleep so I stayed up for a bit :/

47. Who was the last person to call you? Dominos to open the gate so they could deliver me pizza.

48. Do you sing in the shower? nop

49. Do you dance in the car? is that physically possible?

50. Ever used a bow and arrow? like once at the fair! It was kinda fun I think?

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? High school graduation lol

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? Yes

53. Is Christmas stressful? It can be if there’s too much family

54. Ever eat a pierogi? wtf is that?

55. Favorite type of fruit pie? Apple!

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Astronaut when I was real small, then a paleontologist, then a roller coaster designer

57. Do you believe in ghosts? nop

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Ye

59. Take a vitamin daily? I did until I ran out a few weeks ago. I need to get more :V

60. Wear slippers? no, but I should!! that’s a good idea!

61. Wear a bath robe? Nop

62. What do you wear to bed? my birthday suit

63. First concert? Weird Al Yankovic. Not even joking.

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Target

65. Nike or Adidas? Nike. I like their rly light running shoes.

66. Cheetos Or Fritos? cheetos

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Both

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? Ew

69. Ever take dance lessons? When I was a small child I took hip hop lessons for like one day

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? My love could probably be a great writer, or maybe I could see her being a therapist if she gets her mental stuff figured out to help people that went through a lot of hard stuff like she did c:

71. Can you curl your tongue? Yis

72. Ever won a spelling bee? Nop

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yes!

74. What is your favorite book? Probably Hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy? Or maybe slaughterhouse 5?

75. Do you study better with or without music? Depends. I do both.

76. Regularly burn incense? I wish!

77. Ever been in love? Yessss!! with @calibratedcatnip c: my love.

78. Who would you like to see in concert? Caravan Palace and Deadmau5

79. What was the last concert you saw? Weird Al Yankovic lmao

80. Hot tea or cold tea? Cold, and sweetened too because I’m trash

81. Tea or coffee? Both

82. Favorite type of cookie? gingersnap

83. Can you swim well? I can swim alright. Could probably be better.

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Ye

85. Are you patient? No lol

86. DJ or band, at a wedding? A single man playing a banjo

87. Ever won a contest? Yes, I once won free surf lessons then proceeded to chafe my legs on my wetsuit over the course of the week until I was in extreme pain. Also the sand on that beach had very small red worms in it and it was really creepy

88. Ever have plastic surgery? Nop

89. Which are better black or green olives? I’ve never eaten an olive

90. Opinions on sex before marriage? Having sex before marriage is a Sin and if you do it you will go to Hell for eternity

91. Best room for a fireplace? All of them

92. Do you want to get married? Yesss. To my looove c:

[sandy-sims]

100  questions nobody ever asks! ❓

I was tagged by @sim-bubble! (and a few more people but I can’t remember who, I’m sorry!)

1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? I don’t have a closet! My bf does though, and we sleep with it closed.

2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotels? Yeah, if they’re from a fancy hotel!!

3. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? I didn’t realise people tucked their sheets in? :o

4. Have you stolen a street sign before? Nope.

5. Do you like to use post-it notes? Sure!

6. Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? Noo, couponing isn’t really a thing here!

7. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees? A bear! Much easier to escape from. When we were in Florida we actually saw a wild bear right in front of our villa, we ran to the door and watched it from the window. 

8. Do you have freckles? Nopee. Freckle free since 98′

9. Do you always smile for pictures? Yep! If I know the picture is being taken!

10. What’s your biggest pet peeve? Oh boy, idk? I have so many petty pet peeves aha! It really annoys me when people don’t tip waitresses and waiters.

11. Do you ever count your steps when you walk? Not since I was little!

12. Have you peed in the woods? Yep! Me and my family go hiking and backpacking a lot! 

13. Have you ever pooped in the woods? Nope.

14. Do you ever dance even if there’s no music playing? Umm no I don’t think so!

15. Do you chew your pens and pencils? Yes, all the time.

16. How many people have you slept with this week? 1.

17. What size is your bed? Double!

18. What is your song of the week? I’ve been weirdly obsessed with this song, it has a great message and an awesome rhythm.

19. Is it OK for guys to wear pink? Of course.

20. Do you still watch cartoons? Yeah, I watch scooby-doo all the time! I still watch the simpsons too, if that counts.

21. What is your least favorite movie? Umm! This is hard lmao, I rarely watch movies, and only do if it’s something I really want to see! Me and my boyfriend went on a double date with our two friends to see Me Before You and all agreed it was terrible.

22. Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? Umm in my back garden? Otherwise I’d probably forget where I’d buried it. 

23. What do you drink with dinner? Diet Coke or wine lmao.

24. What do you dip a chicken nugget in? I like them naked.

25. What is your favorite food? Sushie, roast potatoes or yorkshire puddings lmao

26. What movies could you watch over and over again and still love? Any Scooby-Doo animated movies, Saving Private Ryan, Lord of the Rings/Hobbitt movies.

27. Last person you kissed/kissed you? le boyfriend

28. Were you ever a boy/girl scout? I was a boy scout for years lmao. In the UK we have ‘scouts’ and ‘girl guides,’ boys generally go to scouts and girls generally go to girl guides, but I hated all the girls I knew when I was younger xD 

29. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? Oh boy, idk? Never say never! 

30. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? Oh boy, probably the last time I wrote to my penpal, like, 3 years ago.

31. Can you change the oil on a car? No aha, I’m clueless. I can barely fuel up xD

32. Even gotten a speeding ticket? Nope, thank god omg. My parents would kill me. 

33. Even ran out of gas? Not yet!

34. What’s your favorite kind of sandwich? Plain ol’ cheese!

35. Best thing to eat for breakfast? Pancakes at weekends, I make great pancakes. Me and Kit make European pancakes every Sunday lmao. But during the week I like Bagels with cheese, because it’s quicker!

36. What is your usual bedtime? Around 2:00am.

37. Are you lazy? Yep!

38. When you were a kid, what did you dressed up as for Halloween? Witch pretty much every time lmao.

39. What is your Chinese astrological sign? Tiger!

40. How many languages can you speak? I speak conversational Russian and French.

41. Do you have any magazine subscriptions? Nope.

42. Which are better: LEGOS or Lincoln Logs? What are Lincoln Logs? 

43. Are you stubborn? Yes aha!

44. Who is better: Leno or Letterman? I don’t know them I’m afraid.

45. Ever watch soap operas? I have, but not anymore.

46. Are you afraid of heights? Yes.

47. Do you sing in the car? Yes, all the timee.

48. Do you sing in the shower? Noo, weirdly enough. I prefer baths to showers tbh

49. Do you dance in the car? Not rlly.

50. Ever used a gun? Yeah, at a shooting range. I used to date a military maaaaaan who loved things like that. 

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? When I graduated Sixth Form in May! 

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? Nope, I love them!

53. Is Christmas stressful? I love Christmas! I’m not really involved in organising anything, so no, not stressful for me! Finding gifts can be tough though! 

54. Ever eat pierogi? Nope.

55. Favorite type of fruit pie? ummmmm I swear the only fruit pies we have here are apple pies aha! And I don’t really like apple pie.

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? astronaut.

57. Do you believe in ghosts? Yeaah.

58. Ever have a deja-vu feeling? Yep!

59. Do you take vitamin daily? When I was a vegetarian I did.

60. Do you wear slippers? Yes, I love them omg. They’re big fluffy white dogs.

61. Do you wear a bath robe? Yep! But we call them dressing gowns not bath robes! 

62. What do you wear to be comfortable? My pajamas lol I live in them

63. What was your first concert? Blink 182 I think, or Greenday.

64. Walmart, Target or KMART? We don’t have any of these things in the UK lmao, but I’ve been to a walmart and a target once.

65. Nike or Adidas? Adidas.

66. Cheetos or Fritos? We don’t have these.

67. Peanuts or Sunflower Seeds? Peanuts!

68. Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? Nope.

69. Ever take dance lessons? Noo, I am the least graceful person ever.

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? Ummm not really, no! 

71. Can you curl your tongue? Yep.

72. Ever won a spelling bee? We don’t really have spelling bees.

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yeah!

74. Own any record albums? A few.

75. Own a record player? Yeah.

76. Do you regularly burn incense? Not regularly.

77. Even been in love? Definitely.

78. Who would you like to see in concert? The Beatles would’ve been cool.

79. What was the last concert you saw? I went to see Take That last month with my boyfriends mum.

80. Hot Tea or Cold Tea? Cold, I don’t like hot tea.

81. Tea or Coffee? Coffee.

82. Sugar Cookies or Snickerdoodles? I don’t know aha.

83. Can you swim well? Yeah.

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yes aha.

85. Are you patient? Definitely not.

86. DJ or Band at a Wedding? Band!

87. Ever won a contest? Yeaah, I won a writing contest when I was like 13 and won tickets for an Olympic football game between Canada and UK!

88. Have you ever had plastic surgery? Nope.

89. Which are better: Black or Green Olives? Neither omg 

90. Can you knit or crochet? I can knit, badly.

91. Best room for a fireplace? Living Room defo

92. Do you want to get married? Maybe, one day, idk

93. If married, how long have you been married? 0

94. Who was your high school crush? I liked/dated a whole bunch of people during highschool omg. But there was this one guy that had a crush on me for a while, and I was always secretly quite fond of him too but I never told him. He was a very gentle soul and had a wonderful accent.

95. Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? No aha

96. Do you have kids? Nope!

97. Do you want kids? Ummmm I really don’t know. Maybe.

98. What is your favorite color? Orange

99. Do you miss anyone right now? Some of my old friends.

100. Who are you going to tag to do this tag next? @simsomedia, @our-dazed-sims, @dreamteamsims, @tea-sims, @peonypyxels, @simssprout, @cinemasims, @noonicorn, @simwithsparkles, @scampsims, @nicotinc, @dank-owski, @zauglom, @theuniquepoutine, @vodkasims and @andromeda-sims! If you’ve done this already, or just don’t want to, no worries!

[michaelmxll-moving-blog]

ok first of all i love u bro. second of all ur amazing. and finally - i looked at the ask meme and most of the even numbers asks seemed interesting so uhh all the even numbers for it i guess. i didn't fully read them all so if somethings making u uncomfortable feel free to skip it. i love u 💕

i love you!! and this should be fun

im adding a read more cause this is gonna be long,, oh boy

2: Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?

i wasnt in a hotel for years but nah i wouldn’t

4: Have you ever stolen a street sign before?

... maybe

6: Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?

nah

8: Do you have freckles?

nope

10: What is your biggest pet peeve?

hmmm okay i actually cant think of one but uh i hate when people lie to my face when i know the truth

12: Have you ever peed in the woods?

probably

14: Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing?

i dont dance.. at all

16: How many people have you slept with this week?

not answering sexual question cause im a minor (dont worry man you didnt notice this im not mad)

18: What is your Song of the week?

caterpillars (of the commonwealth), always

20: Do you still watch cartoons?

yah

22: Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?

idk probably in like.. my family house but not close family maybe my uncle’s place idk

24: What do you dip a chicken nugget in?

i dont eat meat but tomato sauce

26: What movies could you watch over and over and still love?

wow uh heathers, perks of being a wallflower, if i stay, wonder woman

28: Were you ever a boy/girl scout?

nah not my thing

30: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?

a few days ago as an english assignmentcant believe simon told me... to... work...

32: Ever gotten a speeding ticket?

im 14

34: Favorite kind of sandwich?

cafeteria toast!!

36: What is your usual bedtime?

i try to be in bed by midnight

38: When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?

i only celebrated it twice so vampire and zombiepurim though?? oh my

40: Are you horny?

not answering sexual question cause im a minor v2

42: Which are better legos or lincoln logs?

idk i never had any nfdsufdsjklfacsf

44: Who is better...Leno or Letterman?

i have no idea what this is about

46: Are you afraid of heights?

nope i love them actually

48: Do you sing in the shower?

nah

50: Ever used a gun?

nope but i can fight w a sword

52: Do you think musicals are cheesy?

my blog is musical themed so

54: Ever eat a pierogi?

GOOGLE IS A DISGRACE THOSE ARE NOT PIEROGI!!!!!!!!!!!!! but no matter f you mean pierogi or varyeniki, yes, i had both, and i LOVE them

56: Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

hmmmmman austronaut

58: Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

not that i remember?

60: Wear slippers?

yah at home

62: What do you wear to bed?

a sports bra and shorts\a pajama

64: Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

yokhananof.

66: Cheetos Or Fritos?

never had fritos but cheetos for the win

68: Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?

now yes

70: Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

no not really tbh

72: Ever won a spelling bee?

never was in one

74: Own any record albums?

:( i wish

76: Regularly burn incense?

nah

78: Who would you like to see in concert?

WILL CONNOLLY

80: Hot tea or cold tea?

hot tea, ideally, but i live in israel so i drink a lot of iced tea that i make myself cause im Cool

82: Sugar or snickerdoodles?

ok i think i had snickerdoodles and they were cool as heck + sugar cookies seem too sweet so,, idk

84: Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

yah im Cool

86: DJ or band, at a wedding?

ok i was only at one wedding (a few days ago) and they had a dj so idk?

88: Ever have plastic surgery?

im 14 famdont want one though

90: Can you knit or crochet?

i wish

92: Do you want to get married?

nah

94: Who was your HS crush?

just started highschool so?? idk no one i guess

96: Do you have kids?

im 14 fam

98: Whats your favorite color?

hnnnnnnngh okayblack\blue\purple\red

THAT WAS FUN

[almaasi]

you have witch powers? i've always been fascinated with "paranormal" stuff, including magic, so i was wondering if u could tell me stuff about it. is magic real? what kind of stuff did ur grandma do? are ghosts and spirits real too? what kinds of spells can witches cast? is it like supernatural? sorry if i'm asking a lot of questions i'm just so fascinated and curious. i didn't even know witches were like, legit until i read ur tags, i just thought that people back then said that so they had 1/2

2/2 a reason to burn a woman they didn’t like. ok now i’m rambling but in short, what can u tell me about witch stuff? i’m just asking cause i’m really curious :)

(about my tags on this)

#whenever phil gets out the tarot cards and pulls something scarily accurate i’m just like…. yes…. good…show us your witch powers…… #(my own experience with tarot? so reassuring. and calming. it’s like asking for a friend’s advice but that friend is your own brain.) #also my great grandmother was a witch by profession and i definitely got some of her magic #i have not yet learned to recognise a feeling when i feel it.. but when stuff happens later i’m like OH THAT WAS MY MYSTERIOUS FEELING #one of our sheep died a week or so ago.. and for two days straight i was outside in the middle of the night staring at the moon #and wondering why i felt death in the air #and the rain made me cry and it felt like release but i didn’t know why #and i immediately started worrying about our sheep but didn’t follow up to see if they were okay #then two days later my mother comes in and tells me one of our sheep died and two days ago had given my mother “the death look” #if you’ve never seen someone or something die… there’s this look they have that’s like a disgraced peacefulness and self-awareness #but basically i knew the sheep was gonna die without any reason for me to think that #and i need to learn to follow up on my instincts because they’re ever-present and i never know when it’s a psychic thing or random anxiety #disclaimer: IS IT ALL BULLSHIT who knows? but science doesn’t know a whole lot about a lot of things and this stuff is natural to me #so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

okay!! i was expecting someone to ask, so here goes. (in case anyone’s wondering, this is a personal post, and no, i’m not making this stuff up.) (feel free to reblog if you want. but it’s so goddamn long aaah)

first off, an opinion: whether or not you believe magic is real in this world is entirely related to whether or not it is real. at least in my books. magic/paramormal stuff can always be observed, but if you don’t believe it’s anything beyond coincidence or skilled trickery, it’s not gonna impact you.

i do believe in ghosts (or djinns, or something else human-like), but in my experience they don’t really do anything except exist in some other realm and occasionally become visible when i’m at my most lucid, at that point between waking and sleeping. most people (myself included) would say it’s just a hallucination. but like…. who’s to say it isn’t real, just in a way we as humans don’t yet understand? y’know?

the most interesting ghost sighting i’ve experienced was when i was fully awake, not hallucinating. i was in a car with my sister, my sister’s friend, and her mother - and we drove over a bridge, and i saw a fritzing semi-translucent black figure walking along the peak. i looked back and it was gone. it wasn’t scary, it was just really cool. i saw that with my own two eyes, i have zero doubt i saw it, and for that moment, it was there.

other times i’ve seen things pass through walls, or felt presences in the room that vanish when i look. i get deja vu maybe once a week. the ability comes and goes in phases, switched on and off whenever i tell someone about it. it’s like that part of my brain gets really shy and goes into hiding when it’s mentioned.

sometimes it can be pretty powerful. there’ve been moments when a deja vu begins, i remember it from a dream, fast-forward through the memory to remember what happens, and i get ahead of present time, so i predict what’s in front of me by about one to three seconds. usually it’s snippets of conversation, or my hands moving to complete an action, or words i’m typing. (let me tell you, it’s so freaking bizarre when you’re consciously typing, thinking about what you’re typing, and simultaneously remembering typing it before, and knowing what you’re about to type despite not yet knowing. and then seeing it happen. i think a lot of people reading this would be like “what?” but i know there’s someone out there who knows exactly what i mean)

for a long time in my teenage years i told people i’d see coloured figures, like auras without physical people, just hanging around out there in the world, but due to health issues a lot of my teenage memories are gone, and the only memory i have of that stuff is the recollection of me telling people about it, and remembering it while telling people. it’s really weird. i sometimes think maybe i made that up?? but i don’t understand why i’d do that when i do actually see other things sometimes.

once, my family visited this old historic building, and i remember seeing a woman in a maid’s outfit duck through a doorway. but she wasn’t actually there. so. idk.

my great-grandmother (or great-great grandmother?) on my mother’s side used to sell love spells to the people in her Indian village. my mother told me about it when i was little. my [great] great grandmother would write a spell on parchment, and the client had to go home and burn it in their fire. and she would curse people, in exchange for payment. that’s all i know about that. but my grandmother (also on my mother’s side) used to have some kind of power, i never got to ask about it while she was still alive. (she was an awesome woman. one of the first women in her country and generation to go to university.)

personally, having been raised as a muslim, i always felt really disconnected from the culture and practices of the religion, even though i believe in the supernatural aspects of it right down to my core. that’s despite my ultimate acknowledgement of facts being deeply rooted in hard science. recently (like, in the past few months) i’ve started to rediscover my faith - directly following on from a quiet interest in the pinterest & instagram aesthetics of paganism and new age magic, which as a concept i was never really sure about. i just really liked how it looked. basically, it clicked in my brain that islamic prayers could, in essence, just be spells. you gotta take everything with a grain of salt. they might not work. but that’s the beauty of it.

a few weeks ago i stumbled across a prayer on tumblr, and read its intended purpose: “Allah will grant whoever recites this seven times in the morning or evening whatever he desires from this world or the next”.

and… i started to think, maybe the purpose is not to actually do that. nothing ought to be a get-out-of-jail-free/do-this-and-your-life-is-made type thing. maybe the purpose is to make you believe nothing can go wrong. and that every bad thing that happens–? it happens so that you can learn from it. and eventually, after many things change, you realise what you desire was not the thing you thought you desired. (idk how to explain that. an example from my life: i really wanted to be a veterinarian growing up. then i got sick, dropped out of school. and now i’m a writer. i want to be a writer more than i ever wanted to be a vet. i had to get sick and my life had to fall apart before i could discover that. writing was never something i’d have considered before.)

my point is, if you believe everything that happens to you will ultimately be a good thing, bad things don’t hurt so much.

and if you take something as a sign, it’s a sign. it’s just your own brain taking hints from the world around you and using them to conjure up a decision. if you wanna believe it’s magic, it is.

personally i like protection prayers/spells and just…generally positive ones. i say prayers for sick friends, people who i see on my tumblr dash who are having a bad time, and if i see or hear about disasters or worldwide events. i’m not expecting it to have a visible impact, but like.. what’s the harm? at the very least it makes me feel like i did something if i don’t have money to give, or i can’t be there with a friend, or the world is falling apart and i’m helpless. praying or saying a spell is just hoping, really, really hard. if some greater being is out there, listening? cool. (but what if god doesn’t wanna do anything? maybe it’s like my cupcake theory. god puts the ingredients in a baking tray, shoves it in the oven, forgets about it. the universe rises as a cupcake. god made it. but the universe is doing its own damn thing.)

regarding tarot cards: again, it’s self-reflection. you can believe answers come from outside influences, but it’s easily just as much about interpreting generic advice and making it mean something to you. but personally i’ve drawn random cards, and known that no other card in the deck would’ve been as relevant at that moment. i’ve used tarot cards to determine the endings for my stories, and coincidentally pulled cards that directly represent my title characters.

one time i was thinking about my fic “The Moonlighter and the Magician” and the card i pulled first was The Magician. and i was like gee thanks tarot cards that’s helpful. (but actually? it meant those cards were on the same wavelength as me. think about it. 78 cards, there’s a one in 78 chance i pull that one on my first try.)

apart from my wonky first-ever tarot readings with the Rider-Waite travel-size tarot deck (which belonged to my mother), i’ve never pulled anything that didn’t eventually make sense. i use The Wild Unknown cards now, i relate to them so much more. plus they’re mine, not borrowed or abandoned for years, which probably helps. (buying those cards was the most money i ever spent on anything. i don’t regret it.)

is any of this like the show ‘supernatural’? not really. the closest i can say my experiences have come to the show would be the episode “faith”. just, the whole episode. it doesn’t matter if it’s the real deal, so long as it works. and boy, does it work for me. and a lot of other people.

like i said, all the spirit-like entities i’ve encountered have been perfectly benign. no monsters, except things i’m pretty sure are nightmares.

but on that note, i take a lot of things to help me sleep. if i didn’t, i’d be waking up screaming night and day (i hit whistle register while screaming, once). i see faces in the dark and creatures in my bedroom, even when my eyes are closed and i’m awake. i sleep with a light on, and i prefer to sleep in the day. i cannot even deal with the presences in my room.

for that matter, my room is definitely the most presence-heavy room in the house. now, although it’s obviously just in a drafty area, i feel the cold spots. all. the. time. i’m feeling one right now as i type this. the door and window are both closed. the heater is always on. the draft comes from the same corner of the ceiling my cat stares at when she’s “staring into space”. there’s definitely something there, but it legit doesn’t bother me. it watches me get dressed sometimes, but it’s not weird about it. like i said, benign.

i feel energy everywhere i go. i can’t stay in my family’s open plan living room comfortably for more than a few minutes, because that room is filled with people and pets coming and going all freaking day, and even when it’s empty, it’s so LOUD. there’s vibrations and voices coming out of the walls, because the house absorbs it all. as a generally tired person, that room exhausts me. i can only stay there if i have social energy. (yes, even an empty room.)

i am so, so sensitive to people’s moods and the energy they let out (to the point where i burst out screaming if i see a negative microexpression during a personal conversation). i find phone calls very difficult, not just because of social anxiety, but because i can’t sense energy as easily as i want to, and is natural for me. skype calls aren’t the same as being there in person. a lot of this could also be autism-related, but nearly everything about me is autism-related, because i’m autistic. go figure.

one time, the day i had my first period, i passed out in a maths exam. all the other times in my life, i’ve seen black or maybe red when i passed out, but this time it was a striking cobalt blue. and i heard SO MANY VOICES, i thought the whole classroom was full of people shouting. my P.E. teacher was observing that exam, she carried me out of the room and lay me on the floor outside. i told her about the voices, she looked at me in confusion and said “there were no voices?? the whole room was silent for the exam.” obviously that was a weird day, but given the amount of times i’ve lost conciousness in my life, before and after that day, i know the warm muggy feeling of slipping away, and i guarantee that one was just a little bit not-normal.

my cat Wilson follows me everywhere. if you’ve ever seen a picture of a witch and her familiar, that’s me and Wilson. she leaves the house if i leave, and she’ll walk down the road beside me to make sure i stay safe. she only lets me leave completely if i go in a car, but even then, she tries to come too. i know what she says when she talks. she speaks in words for me. it translates naturally in my head without a thinking process.

there was this one time when i was about 15 my parents took me to an after-hours medical centre because apparently i was ~speaking in tongues~ or whatever. i don’t remember it, i remember ‘waking up’ with a doctor’s flashlight in my eyes, crying, then holding my sister’s hand as we looked at the fish in the fishtank afterwards. i can’t say how legit that is because i just.. don’t remember it.

one time as a kid, i am absolutely sure i was possessed for about 30 seconds. i was walking down the street on a balmy English afternoon, pine needles scattered underfoot, with my elderly grandmother (paternal), my grandfather, and my sister. i must’ve been 6 or 7? and a streak of evil just bolted through me. and i stuck out my foot and my grandmother fell flat on her face. my grandfather tried to help her up, a car driving by pulled up and asked if they needed help, grandfather said no, and got her back to her feet. i can’t remember if i felt remorse. i think i just knew instinctively that it wasn’t me who did it. but like.. i wasn’t just A Nice Kid, okay, i was The Nicest Kid. i just don’t do things like that. ever. especially not to a kind and generous grandmother who i love so very dearly. i never had before, and i never have since. that’s the single most evil thing i’ve ever done in my life and it came out of nowhere. being more aware now, i think it was a djinn (aka a demon in christian beliefs, i think). they’re known for being mischievous. (my grandmother was fine, by the way. this is the first time i’ve told anyone about this.) now i think about it, i remember cobalt blue behind my eyes then, too.

whoops, this is a really long post now. but uh… basically, i’ve just always been open to feeling these things, and believing in what i sense for myself, without subscribing to whether or not the science has been done yet. in fact, i think i’m open to it because i experienced the same stuff when i was young. the energy i feel is very much real to me, completely tangible. i’ve never been able to see auras, but i feel them on some people. i think just being open to feeling something makes it more likely to come to you. i try not to ignore my instincts (because they’re always right. always.) but i find it’s super hard to distinguish between anxiety (which i feel often) and magical ability (which is far less commonly felt). also sometimes the instinct is so faint it doesn’t even become a passing thought, just a blur of something i half-considered. but in hindsight i realise what it ought to have been, had i paid proper attention.

i can comfortably manage to go outside in bare feet, shut my eyes and let the moonlight do its thing. it has an immensely powerful energy, i always feel cleaner inside when i go back in. (my cat Wilson sometimes asks me to go outside with her when there’s a full moon. almost every night, especially on warm nights, but even freezing ones, we can just stand out there for an hour together. watching the moon set is transcendent. far more so than a sunset.)

right now, due to years of bad health, i have to force some natural abilities away (like the nightmares) because they’re too much for me to handle. i think as i recover, over time it’ll be easier for me to accept that stuff back into my life.

oh, one more thing, regarding my health - i have celiac disease, which has kept me essentially bedridden for the last 7+ years - WHICH BY THE WAY, my family spent literally 9 years trying to diagnose. my doctor kept doing an anaemia test, telling me there was nothing wrong with me and sending me back to school. i saw various specialists, herbalists, a naturopath, physiotherapists, cardiologists, had an MRI scan, saw family counsellors, school counsellors, a hypnotist, etc etc - basically consulted every medical professional under the sun when a simple blood test would’ve done it. stupid misogynistic doctor who thinks all teenage girls fake it to get out of school.

but one thing we did do was visit a psychic, who told me i had something called a candida. my dad, a sceptic and nonbeliever, googled it and said it was “some kind of magical thing in the gut”, and was therefore bullshit, so we continued the search for a diagnosis. years later - years - after a change of doctor (who i chose because i got a good vibe from her picture) we find out it’s celiac disease, a disease of the gut. of the hundreds of people we saw, the only ones to even pinpoint the right body part were the psychics. i googled candida just now and guess what? literally celiac disease. this woman diagnosed me with celiac disease by kneeling at my feet, holding my hand, and shutting her eyes for 30 seconds.

for the record, slightly off topic, i know very few men in real life, and this is what the men in my life have been. my doctor, dismissing me as a liar because i was a teenage girl. and my father, dismissing my declining health as “not trying hard enough”, even now, more than a year after i was diagnosed by a doctor. i think this is why i take refuge with male fictional characters. they’re better. i want them to be soft and understanding like the men i’ve never known.

anyway, this is the part of my life’s story i never really pieced together until right now. it’s a lot, more than i expected. i happily call myself a witch. most of my magic goes into my stories, and i think a lot of people who read them feel it, even if they translate it as passion or love or good vibes or something. the amazing comments i get would speak to that. i love the energy i get from comments, because it does come through in typed words, even if it’s much fainter than seeing people face-to-face. some comments just hit me with waves of goodness, even if the words themselves aren’t so powerful. so i really appreciate that stuff. it’s good stuff.

yep. that’s all. i hope this satisfies your curiosity, anon!!!

[myinnerthoughtsandwords-blog]

I've always had issues with depression and anxiety, looking back at my childhood after I got diagnosed specific events made more sense.

In 2008/2009 I started therapy to help with the major anxiety issues I was having with. I was in my 1st year of college, not really feeling the college life, not making friends, and stressing about money and my other norms. Therapy helped a lot, kept me sane for a bit, I learned great coping techniques and skills when I could feel my heart racing out of my chest. I continued for a year or two then stopped due to financial issues/I was feeling I could handle my anxieties better.

Also throughout all this my mom has been my rock and very understanding, so that has helped me so so much.

Then about 2013 depression came and lurked it's ugly head. I started isolating myself from my friends, I spent little time doing anything except work/school, I started to think how much I hated living, how much better my family's life would be would be if I wasn't around, how going to college was like hell and I was just going to please my grandfather (I believed I would have upset him if I did not graduate, he bragged to his older brother that I was the 1st in the family to go to a 4 year college.) I tried my best to hide my emotions, I didn't want to burden anyone with my issues. When I was going through this, my Mom quit her job to go back to school so she was going through a lot, and my sister was joining a sorority at her college so she was doing her own thing. Then one very busy weekend for my family, I cracked, I couldn't hold it in anymore. I cried, told my mom how I just wished I was dead. How I wish I just could just go drive to the Brooklyn bridge and jump. My mom cried, she held me, I went numb. That weekend sucked, I just kept crying... I would wake in the middle of the night and find my mom surrounded by tissues from her crying. I felt so guilty. But me opening up was the best thing I could have done for myself. My mom helped me with a plan, baby steps, I started therapy again, saw a psychiatrist, was placed on meds, took a leave from school and later quit.

My 1st depression episode sucked, but helped me alot. I did still have thoughts of self hatred and wishing for death every night, but I have a family that I can not hurt and I can not put that trauma upon.

Through the years I've had ups and downs, nothing too terrible. I've held steady jobs, had relationships, I've never hurt myself- I think the worse thing I've ever done to myself was try to take myself off my meds- that was a big mess.

Then over a month ago, in March 2019, something hit me. I woke up on a Monday morning and I was hysterically crying, I couldn't make myself go to work, take a shower, eat, anything. My morning alarm would go off and it was like a que for the rain. I would go and crawl in bed with my mom hug her and cry aloud. My dog thought my mom was hurting me and tried to pull her off me, when I was the one holding her (which was very loving for my doggo to do). I called out of work and thought it was just a 1 day thing. The next day, it was deja vu. I called out of work again, then made an appointment with my psychiatrist. My psychiatrist kept asking what triggered this, and to this day, I do not know- I am happy at work, home life is good, money is what it is, nothing horrible- so she increased the meds I was on and added a new one. I started the new one right away, and I was in a fog. I was able to go to work the rest of the week, but I didn't feel physically there. I felt like my normal work flow was not being met, and I even asked my supervisor if I could just take a few walks around the building which is not my norm. The weekend came, I slept.

Monday came again, and so where my tears. I was coming undone. I was lost and scared, and I didn't know what to do. I called out of work. Same with Tuesday. Tuesday I went to the local hospital and they let me go after a few hours stating I wasn't a danger to anyone, but they gave me a lists of ideas for assistance. That Wednesday I called out of work again, I was very afraid I was going to lose my job. I 1st tried calling my psychiatrist, I had to leave a message, and she would call me back. I called a few organizations and treatment centers, but all needed reference letters or couldn't see me right away. My mom, without me knowing, sought help from her psychiatric friend who lives in another state, but grew up where I live-and she advised maybe go inpatient at a different hospital than the one I originally went to. The one she recommended has a very good program, etc. I called my psychiatrist one more time, and I was told again she would need to call me back ( she never did, even though I said emergency and hospital when speaking to her staff.)

My mom drove me to the hospital a few towns over, we went to the emergency room, I explained my "symptoms" and they brought me in to the security section of the emergency room. I was very frightened, I never went through anything like this before. The emergency room for patients with "behavioral health problems " was like a mini isolation prison... like the one I saw on OITNB. I had to wear paper clothes, be security wanded by a officer, and my room had no door handle on the inside. After speaking to the ER dr. and going over things with my mom, I agreed to be inpatient.

I lived on a floor of a hospital for a week with strangers and nurses. The 1st night my anxiety was so bad I destroyed the toliet a dozen times, I know tmi, but I felt awful because I had a roommate and the bathroom doors didn't go to the ceiling fully. The 1st day I met my hospital psychiatrist he was amazed and confused about the medications I was on, he started me from scratch on a new regimen of medications. The nurses were nice, the other patients were all natural and normal. We had visiting daily, my poor mom started having her eye twitch, but I think it helped me, and her, my g-ma, and sister to see the facility was clean, and that I was getting something from being there. There was daily group therapy sessions/learning how to cope lessons. It made me hopeful. Going inpatient was the best decision for me to have made. It was scary, but at the end if the day it shows how strong I am, and I'm doing so much better now.

After the 7 days I was signed to ho to an outpatient program that the hospital holds off campus. I attended that for a month, I wish I never signed up. It was not organized, all the sessions were on coping skills, it wasn't helpful. It was like night and day inpatient and outpatient, and they are hosted by the same hospital program.

I'm done with all that fun stuff, but I still have no clue what caused depression episode 2 to occur. It truly sucked, I lost a month of wages, and idk how much I'm going to owe in medical bills, but I'm back to my normal :)

[shrugman]

all

Hell yeah1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?no2. You talked to an ex today, correct?No but he likes my tweet3. Have you taken someones virginity?Yeah4. Is trust a big issue for you?sometimes 5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?this bitch doesn't have emotions 6. What are you excited for?going back to school Monday :)7. What happened tonight?I wore my kick ass new boots8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?Not as long as they're safe9. Is confidence cute?Yes until you become a cocky asshole10. What is the last beverage you had?Lemonade 11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?Like 2 idk12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?lmao I don't own non skinny jeans 13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 14. What are you going to spend money on next?coffee15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?nope16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?hopefully 17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?Stephanie :)18. The last time you felt broken?constantly idk19. Have you had sex today?No20. Are you starting to realize anything?sorta21. Are you in a good mood?Eh22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?in theory? Yeah. But in reality no because I don't want to get all up in their business. Leave them be 23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?Nope24. What do you want right this second?bagel 25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?darn26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?Lmao27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?Probably not 28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh idk29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?I miss people but I've missed them more in the past so kinda?30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?No31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?Nah32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?still don't know if I like them but they might know I honestly have no idea33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?Sometimes 34. Listening to?The tv is on playing that song that happens when astronauts walk up to the rocket 35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?not really 36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?I think they're at jmu??? 37. Do you believe in love at first sight?not for me 38. Who did you last call?My sister 39. Who was the last person you danced with?Katie 40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?They were there41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?A few weeks ago42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?Yeah43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?My existence is an embarrassment 44. Do you tan in the nude?Bitch I don't tan 45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?Nah46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?No47. Who was the last person to call you?My sister 48. Do you sing in the shower?Sometimes 49. Do you dance in the car?Hell yeah50. Ever used a bow and arrow?Yeah51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?When I was like 5 52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?I love musicals come at me 53. Is Christmas stressful?Yeah 54. Ever eat a pierogi?I think 55. Favorite type of fruit pie?Cherry :)56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?teacher/actor/marine biologist 57. Do you believe in ghosts? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?Constantly 59. Take a vitamin daily?No60. Wear slippers?No61. Wear a bath robe?No62. What do you wear to bed?pajamas but I have a few 63. First concert?Technically Jimmy Buffet 64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?Target65. Nike or Adidas?I don't care 66. Cheetos Or Fritos?Cheetos I guess 67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?Seeds 68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?Probably either picture to burn or shoulda said no 69. Ever take dance lessons?For 8 whole years 70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?no idea 71. Can you curl your tongue?Yeah 72. Ever won a spelling bee?I can't spell for shit73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?Eh kinda 74. What is your favorite book?Idk75. Do you study better with or without music?Without 76. Regularly burn incense?No 77. Ever been in love?Yeah78. Who would you like to see in concert?My lord and savior Britney Spears 79. What was the last concert you saw?Twenty One Pilots 80. Hot tea or cold tea?No81. Tea or coffee?Coffee 82. Favorite type of cookie?Oatmeal raisin 83. Can you swim well?Eg 84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?Yeah 85. Are you patient?No86. DJ or band, at a wedding?Idk probably DJ87. Ever won a contest?Yeah I think 88. Ever have plastic surgery?No89. Which are better black or green olives?No90. Opinions on sex before marriage?Power to ya 91. Best room for a fireplace?Living room92. Do you want to get married?Probably

[the-ramblings-of-a-cutter]

1-99 because you're a babe and I love learning new things about you❤❤

1:Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? Closed because open doors make me super anxious. Also, my cats will eat my clothes. 
2:Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel? Bruh, I'm lucky if I remember to take what I brought with me let alone extra things. 
3:Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? Out 
4:Have you ever stolen a street sign before? Is a thing people actually do?? Well, sadly, I have not 
5:Do you like to use post-it notes? Yea 
6:Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? No, because I know how forgetful I am and also I can never find scissors. 
7:Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?Bees 
8:Do you have freckles? Yea, but they're really light. I have a lot on my arms.
9:Do you always smile for pictures?Never with my teeth.
10:What is your biggest pet peeve?When people are rude to customer service people simply because they 'can' be
11:Do you ever count your steps when you walk?Yea 
12:Have you ever peed in the woods? Nope
13:What about pooped in the woods? Nope 
14:Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing? Yea, and I don't realize I'm doing it. Because I'm constantly singing songs on my head (phineas and ferb songs specifically) and I won't realize I'm 'dancing'
15:Do you chew your pens and pencils? Not enough to leave marks 
16:How many people have you slept with this week? Do my cats count? None 
17:What size is your bed? Queen 
18:What is your Song of the week? 12 Feet Deep by the Front Bottoms 
19:Is it okay for guys to wear pink? Yes, of course 
20:Do you still watch cartoons?Yep. Phineas and Ferb is my favorite show.
21:Whats your least favorite movie? Either of the Percy Jackson ones, but tbh calling them movies is a stretch. 
22:Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? Idk, I don't have a yard so it'd have to be somewhere that had limited access 
23:What do you drink with dinner? Water or one of the Blood Orange sodas 
24:What do you dip a chicken nugget in?Hm, ketchup or ranch 
25:What is your favorite food? There's a place here that has my favorite food, and they're these vegetarian summer rolls with peanut sauce but only from this specific restaraunt.
26:What movies could you watch over and over and still love? I only watch two movies: the Aristocats and the Boxtrolls 
27:Last person you kissed/kissed you? Uhh, idk it's been over a year so probs my ex, Nathan 
28:Were you ever a boy/girl scout? Yes! 
29:Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? Nah
30:When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? This year I wrote to my brother while he was away for school.
31:Can you change the oil on a car? Sadly, I cannot 
32:Ever gotten a speeding ticket? Yes, but I should've gotten a much higher fine 
33:Ever ran out of gas? No 
34:Favorite kind of sandwich? Egg salad 
35:Best thing to eat for breakfast? Hash browns 
36:What is your usual bedtime?After midnight 
37:Are you lazy?Physically, yes. 
38:When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?My mom used to make our costumes and I went as a princess a lot, but also I was a skunk one year 
39:What is your Chinese astrological sign?Rat
40:How many languages can you speak?Only English but can read Latin and Classical Greek 
41:Do you have any magazine subscriptions? Nope 
42:Which are better legos or lincoln logs? I grew up with Lincoln logs but Legos 
43:Are you stubborn? Yes 
44:Who is better…Leno or Letterman? Idk I've never watched either and had to google them to figure out this question 
45:Ever watch soap operas?No 
46:Are you afraid of heights? Hm, not really. 
47:Do you sing in the car?No 
48:Do you sing in the shower? No
49:Do you dance in the car? No
50:Ever used a gun?Yes, I go shooting with my dad and brothers 
51:Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? My senior pictures so like 4 years ago 
52:Do you think musicals are cheesy?No, but I don't watch them 
53:Is Christmas stressful? Horrifically so 
54:Ever eat a pierogi?Yes
55:Favorite type of fruit pie?I don't care for pie 
56:Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?Nurse when I was like 5, but since 5th grade I've wanted to be a forensic anthropologist 
57:Do you believe in ghosts? No 
58:Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? No 
59:Take a vitamin daily?No 
60:Wear slippers?No 
61:Wear a bath robe? No 
62:What do you wear to bed? Tshirt and sweats 
63:First concert?Modest Mouse
64:Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Target 
65:Nike or Adidas? Nike 
66:Cheetos Or Fritos? Cheetos 
67:Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?Sunflower seeds 
68:Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? No 
69:Ever take dance lessons? Yes, ballet for a few years 
70:Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? Lol I can't even picture having a spouse 
71:Can you curl your tongue? No 
72:Ever won a spelling bee?Nope, I'm an atrocious speller. 
73:Have you ever cried because you were so happy? No
74:Own any record albums? Yes the Arctic Monkeys Humbug 
75:Own a record player? Yes 
76:Regularly burn incense?No, they make me nauseous 
77:Ever been in love?Yea
78:Who would you like to see in concert? Arctic Monkeys or the Kooks
79:What was the last concert you saw? Black Sabbath 
80:Hot tea or cold tea? Cold 
81:Tea or coffee? Coffee 
82:Sugar or snickerdoodles? Sugar cookies 
83:Can you swim well? Yes 
84:Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yea 
85:Are you patient? Nope 
86:DJ or band, at a wedding? Band 
87:Ever won a contest? A few 
88:Ever have plastic surgery? No
89:Which are better black or green olives?Black 
90:Can you knit or crochet? I used to crochet, I haven't in years but could probs pick it up quickly 
91:Best room for a fireplace? Living room 
92:Do you want to get married? Sometimes
93:If married, how long have you been married?
94:Who was your HS crush? His name was Aidan 
95:Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? Nope 
96:Do you have kids?No 
97:Do you want kids?Sometimes 
98:Whats your favorite color? Burgundy or black 
99:Do you miss anyone right nowNope @sickofbeingsuicidal this took forever and there are probably typos. But I love you, and hope you learned some things about me