#like a hill I would die on

[umbrellacam]

On the one hand, all of those writers have written things I've liked - some of them quite a few, especially in Devin's case, where also a lot of the disproportionate reactions involve sexism.

On the other hand, "[Writer] isn't actually that bad" is too strong in the other direction because I still want to throw tomatoes at them a bit for some of their crap 🙃

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Bonus 8: How met your mother (CSSR design by @qourmet!)

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[aithusarosekiller]

Evan: James Potter? He's so arrogant and boring, what do you even see in him?

Regulus: Oh fuck off, he's-

James: *shoves past a group of kids, blows up snape's cauldron, runs away*

Evan: ....I take it back, that guy's Slytherin levels of awful, I approve of your taste

[sp0o0kylights]

Indie horror filmmaker Eddie Munson, high off his first big (underground but notable) success, knows the movers and shakers of the film world have their eyes on him. 

They're just waiting to see if he was a one hit wonder before they open all the doors he's been trying to kick down. 

His next upcoming film is his chance, his shot at finally making it. Of being like Rob Zombie and the other creators he looks up to that masterfully blended metal and horror. 

This is his golden ticket. 

The project starts off smooth. His last success has greased the wheels, and things fall into place faster than ever before. 

He's got the best idea for this insane haunted house story, a true "mazes in mazes" type of deal with a queer twist. A real look at how a place can haunt a person just as easily as a ghost can.

 Everything's going swimmingly--until one of his leads drops out the day they're due to start shooting.

No call no show's, and later, Eddie will find out the guy got a last second call back to be a contestant on one of those Love Island bullshit romance gigs (and laugh his ass off when the main love interest takes one look at Billy Hargrove and goes on a five minute rant about ugly mullets on national television) but right now? 

He's fucked. 

He's called in every favor he has for this film. Maxed out every credit card he owns, tapped every contact, got on his hands and knees and begged his rising star journalist best bud to help him market it. (Which Nancy agreed too, for way less cash than she should have.) 

 Eddie can't get anyone on the phone, much less find a replacement actor and the amazing place they rented, that is so dark and wonderfully eerie, is booked out the rest of the year as an AirBnB. 

If he doesn't film now, he loses it all.

Cue the other lead, unknown theater actor Steve Harrington, watching his hair pulling, tire kicking, 'cursing and hopping while holding a toe' mental breakdown and asks why Eddie himself doesn't act in it. 

"Just go full Kevin Smith man. Act and direct." He says, with an easy grin. 

Jeff, Eddie's tried and true videographer, trades glances with Gareth and Grant (Eddie's long used special effects and makeup team, who double for about twelve other jobs because they're also his best friends and they're all in this together, make or break.)

"We don't really have a lot of other options." Gareth hedges. "You're already using me and Grant as background characters." 

Eddie, hands fluttering around his face as though trying to wave away this entire situation, squeezes his eyes shut and lets out a pained hiss. 

"Fine, fine!" He announces with the air of a man running towards a fire. "Fuck it, this is our one shot and so help me I will be shooting it!" 

Steve politely hides a laugh with a cough. 

"Chuckle all you want big boy, I'm going to tragically romance you so hard people will forget both of our characters actually live." Eddie snarls.

Steve, the handsome bastard, just winks.  "Looking forward to it." 

Eddie blushes, but hides it with a surge of frantic energy, conveyed by lots of yelling and moving and getting the ball rolling. 

Two days later, Steve would give the performance of a lifetime down on his knees, covered in a literal pound of fake gore, booty shorts and nothing else as he sobbed about how a lover could become a home. His hands clawed at Eddie's jeans before resting a tear stained face on a slim leg as he bent his body towards Eddie like it hurt to be away from him. 

Eddie would later receive equal praise in his own acting during the scene, with the world and every reporter in it asking how he conveyed an otherworldly panic so beautifully throughout Steve's performance. What was he thinking, to evoke those expressions on his face? 

The way his own pale hand, unmarred by blood and acting as a metaphor for the plot, would come to stroke Steve's cheeks.

Eventually he'd come up with a smooth polished answer that cheekily pleased his audience, but nothing would ever come close to the truth. 

("Eddie I've known you since grade school." Jeff said that night, a scant few hours after they'd wrapped. "You can act man, but not like that." 

Eddie made a wild "shut up" gesture, looking frantically over his shoulder before admitting; "You saw how close his face was to the prince of darkness!? I was seconds away from popping a boner next to his lips, in front of the 4K camera!” 

Eddie bounced into Jeff’s face so he could hiss: “He fucking had his chin on my thigh, Jeff, and I am only a man. A mere mortal!" 

"So we're gonna unpack all of that later." Jeff said finally, when he'd managed to get his mouth working and Eddie back out of his personal space. "But dude, we've talked about you calling your dick the prince of darkness." 

Eddie flipped him off.) 

One year later and critics named Corroded the best horror film of the year, praising the camera work, practical effects, and how there wasn't a soul alive who was surprised to hear Eddie and Steve were dating after their explosive on screen chemistry.

No one ever quite understood the prince of darkness jokes or why Steve mentioning it made Eddie blush, but that was a secret to find out later. 

Today on WIP’s I have no intention of writing, indie horror movie AU!

[andy-clutterbuck]

The Ones Who Live | 1x03 - Bye

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

Nimona headcanons I wrote instead of sleeping

Sometimes the boys forget that Nimona isn’t human 

Like they’re used to the shifting into animals aspect of Nimona because she does it as often as she breathes

But sometimes she’ll do some really creepy shit like make her arms longer to reach something when she’s too lazy to get up

One time they shifted just their neck to be like an owl so they could turn their head 180 degrees instead of just turning around cause that was “too boring” 

Or he’ll mimic people’s voices without realizing it 

Sometimes he’ll tell a story and suddenly he’s using Bal’s voice 

The first time she did this Bal searched the whole house cause he was convinced that Todd has snuck in

Or she’ll grow an extra arm to hold more shit and they take a moment to realize “oh yeah we adopted a little weirdo” 

They get used to it after a while and the arguments surrounding it are always funny because both the boys will complain and say “I don’t sound like that” and they have to be told “No love you do you really do” 

You know those videos of babies reacting to their parents shaving their facial hair or putting on glasses 

That’s Nimona's reaction every single time the boys change their appearance even the smallest bit they cant shave or wear their reading glasses because if they do he freaks out 

Talking some “help me Nemesis I heard bosses voice but I can’t find him” while Bal was standing right in front of them 

It was the first time he shaved his face in years and he’s never doing it again 

Mostly cause Ambrosius kept telling him he looked like a teenager and it was freaking him out 

I feel like Bal and Ambrosius are those kinds of people who will tell people about the little injuries but neglect the big ones 

Like Bal mentioned that he thinks he sprained his ankle during the fight at the institute but he won’t mention that he’s pretty sure he got a concussion 

(BECAUSE THIS MAN HEAD-BUTTED TWO PEOPLE WHEN HE HAS A METAL ARM) 

(I’m bout to wrap this man in bubble wrap and give him a helmet because wtf) 

Ambrosius will complain the whole day about the fact that he has a paper cut

But will completely neglect to inform his doctors “Oh yeah I can’t move my left arm higher than my waist without pain and I can’t see that well out of my left eye or hear that well out of my left ear do you think that’ll be a problem?” 

It isn’t until Nimona makes an off handed comment about how this super weird that the laser did basically nothing to him that he told both of them

They literally dragged him to the ER because “Who thinks those symptoms are normal Nemesis what is wrong in that pretty little head of yours!!” 

When Bal tells Nimona she’s being a bit of a hypocrite (cause who refers to an arrow as a splinter?) she turns to him and says “I know you’re not saying something Mr. Human battering ram” 

It took literally everything in Ambrosius not to break down laughing

After that she forces them to have frequent checkups with the doctor because these dorks wouldn’t go otherwise

Honestly I'm fully convinced that some people in the kingdom don't know who Nimona is and are constantly confused why they let this little weirdo follow them around 

And finally the curiosity will eat away at them and they’ll finally ask 

Sometimes the boys will give some “normal” answers like “Oh that’s Nimona” and they won’t elaborate at all

Sometimes they’ll give funnier answers like “Oh that’s a raccoon we found in the garage who turned into a person one day” “I don’t know they just showed up in our living room” and their personal best “You see her too?” 

And their favorite that they only started using a couple of years down the line “Oh that’s our kid”

[edgarallanpoestan]

the nature of crimeboys is that one of them will write serious lore on ao3 and the other will write yaoi on wattpad. and i can try to guess which is which, but i will never be sure until i see for myself

[kaetor]

I swore to myself I'd never redesign the black mask fit because I think it's perfect the (horrible) way it is but then I got bored and had an idea.

[backpackingspace]

listen listen I think Tim and Sasha should be in their 40s. And then you just have this obviously 20 something year old who's now THEIR BOSS claiming is 38 as if they can't spot a fresh out of college baby a mile away

[strrwbrrryjam]

listen, listen, listen, karen, grimshaw, sadie, tilly, abigail, marybeth, molly would not be smooth, they are outlaws, living on the run in the wild in the 19th century, they do not have the TIME to shave, they barely have enough time to bathe, it wouldn't even cross their minds when they're worrying about pinkertons, odriscolls and more coming to kill them

what I'm trying to say is let them be hairy, let them have armpit hair and leg hair, let them have bushes, embrace the hairy women I tell ya

[camgoloud]

okay sorry to be That Person but i’ve seen this in a couple of places and it’s been bothering me. guys babs didn’t smoke. no way in HELL did naberius tern ever touch a cigarette i mean look at him. you want to talk about someone who needs everyone to know that his body is a temple. IANTHE smokes because she saw augustine do it and thought it looked cool and everything for ianthe is forever and always about the aesthetic. the reason pal brought it up in his argument is that he’s been in ianthe’s mind and has thus absorbed the knowledge of how to smoke from IANTHE. which he then uses to be like “see, when souls overlap they will always bleed into each other.” he’s not saying that he learned how to smoke from babs. or even that ianthe learned how to smoke from babs! babs never touched a cigarette in his life. he was too concerned about “work[ing] his little butt off” (thanks ianthe for that phrasing I’m never going to stop thinking about it) to attain physical perfection so that he could win shiny trophies in every dueling competition the nine houses had to offer. i mean. come ON. it’s BABS

[socksandbuttons]

Silly idea but... Bean Eclipse or Bean Bloodmoon finally starting to cuddle with Killcode? They say it's cold... But reality they just want hugs?

Behold! They kinda fight about it.

KC just was happy they wanted to be near him but now its clear to him they're competing (also very desperate for affection).

[heynhay]

i want them fighting like children as in pushing each others faces away, i'm not touching you with a finger a centimeter away, tripping each other in the hallway bc somehow that's flirting do u see the vision or am i alone

we may never diagnose what the hell their problem is

[prismatic-ink]

what if Lizzie didn't die?

nobody's ever fallen out of the void before, so no participant has ever come back to tell the tale of what that's like. the communicator says she's eliminated, and everyone shrugs and carries on, because for all they know, she is. Maybe there is a ground to hit down there, or some monster that swoops in and kills in a single blow.

but the thing is - there's no end in a void. it just continues forever. and ever. and ever. it's simple physics; a void/vacuum is a blank space, a complete and total absence of anything at all. there's nothing there that could have killed Lizzie because, by definition, nothing is in the void at all. not even time could have gotten her.

now imagine being condemned to a place (or as close to a place as the void can get) where you will never see anything again, hear anything again, falling falling falling, towards a ground that will never appear. a place where you can never look into anyone's eyes ever again. eventually, a green streak in brown hair is the only memory you have of another human existing that hasn't been lost to the millennia you've spent falling. this place where you will be the only thing that exists, the only thing that will exist, and the only thing that has ever existed, slipping through the cracks of time, eternally in solitude.

wouldn't that be a fitting place for a woman who spent all her time on solid ground alone, with almost nobody to care for her? falling so far out of the bounds of reality even the watchers don't know she's still alive? so beyond the reach of anybody that nobody will ever hear her calls for them to come to her, let alone heed them? and let's be honest, if they could hear her, would they even come?

and who knows, maybe when the next season rolls around, for some strange, inexplicable reason, the watchers can't find Lizzie. It's no trouble, they can construct a new Lizzie from her memory, even if it's one season behind. and maybe this time, Lizzie has better luck and lots of friends. she doesn't really get why Scar is so apologetic, or Joel so clingy, or even why she constantly feels like she's teetering on the edge of a precipice, about to fall. but that's just her being silly, right?

all the while the original Lizzie falls forever. forgotten again.

[ginsays]

a smattering of modern au coparenting chengyao doodles from last year. could be good. could be fun

[boxesblr]

*fighting the 'Etho doesn't care about Bdubs as much as Bdubs cared about him' allegations from the highest tower that I built and stand alone in on the hill I will die on, the people closing in from all sides*

I GET IT. I FEEL THE SAME WAY. I just think that Etho feels Bdubs loyalty is slightly too close to pity especially when he never wavers in it despite Etho not giving him reason to. To trust your friends, to believe in your friends, it can't be absolute fact - you have to hold space in your heart for doubt.

*kicks someone from the ramparts*

It can be both true that Bdubs gives Etho his undying love in a way that doesn't feel returned, and that Etho does return that love in his own way (which happens to be more logical and less self sacrificial). The out of context Siken quote "if you love me...you don't love me in a way I understand", it's both of them! It's someone who keeps hearing "I owe you everything" (Bdubs) AND who thinks that it's not true and is tired of hearing it (Etho).

*pulls a sword from a body and turn to stab someone approaching from behind*

It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. It doesn't mean it feels fair. I ask myself frequently why they both act this way. But how much Bdubs cares about Etho is just as much about who Etho is as it's about who Bdubs is. You can't separate who Etho is from how Bdubs cares about him. And Etho is someone that cares. He does. I said I was gonna die on this hill and I meant it.

*jumps into the crowd of people below, duel-wielding daggers*