#like a shoplifter

[sharksandjays]

“As of late, however, Ive felt different. My powers feel more…aggressive. My temper shorter. My purpose clouded and uncertain. Maybe I’ve been pushed to the edge by now.”

Alt under cut

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

woke up and someone spilled vanilla extract all over my dash, so as punishment you strange little beasties are getting all the VANILLA FACTS i know:

vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice in the world (2nd to saffron)

which is why more than 99% of what we call "vanilla extract" is actually vanillin (vanilla's dominant flavor compound) and is not extracted from real vanilla.

luckily, even professionals struggle to tell the difference when it comes to things like baked goods. but there is a distinct difference in non-heat treated products like vanilla ice cream. real vanilla has a more complex, individualized flavor profile.

why is vanilla so expensive? because it is a ridiculously delicate & demanding crop. complete primadonna.

vanilla beans come from vanilla orchids. these crazy flowers bloom for A SINGLE DAY and have to be HAND-POLLINATED in a process that is exhausting, delicate, and requires specialist knowledge passed down over generations.

then, if you're lucky, you get vanilla beans.

which then require months of further specialized treatment.

the entire process takes about a year and can go wrong at any stage

vanilla has been cultivated for over 800 years (possibly much longer). the first known cultivators are the Totonac, an indigenous people of Mexico.

the Aztecs used it as a sweetener to balance out the bitter taste of cocoa. it was popular in a drink called xocolatl--the precursor to modern hot chocolate!

it is only pollinated by a very specific orchid bee!!!

which is why no fruit could be grown outside of Mexico until the 1800s

Edmond Albius, born into slavery, invented the pollination method we still use today--launching a global industry when he was just 12 years old.

today, the majority of the world's vanilla is grown in Madagascar

if you want real vanilla, read the labels carefully--it's harder to find than you think!

in conclusion, those tiny black specks you see in fancy vanilla ice cream? those are vanilla bean seeds! itty bitty orchid seeds!!! they are delicious and also a PRISSY BITCH!

(src)

[dsgustng]

I do want to say altho I'm very pro shoplifting it is not something to take lightly. it is something that can and WILL get u in a lot of trouble if you get caught at the wrong place and wrong time. I know a lot of people will get comfortable with it and not think much of doing it but u really do have to be careful and smart Abt it . The best case scenario of getting caught is u get banned from a store you probably really like and worst is you get arrested and have charges pressed against you

[some-creep]

Splatoon shop owners ranked on how likely they are to let me shoplift

Sheldon: I don't think he'd let me because he cares about his job too much. Most of the weapons are pretty big so I'd have to sneak out of the training room with one. I don't think he'd call the cops but he's also so tired of no one listening to him he would probably just stop me himself if I tried to ignore him when he told me to stop.

Annie: She'd notice but her social anxiety means she can't stop me. She wants to but has no idea how to approach the situation and ends up crying later. Easy to do because the fish can't stop me but I guess I might feel bad. She took her business online anyway so this can't happen anymore.

Crusty Sean: He's too much of a big brother type to let me get away with that. He'd very firmly tell me to put back the shoes but not in an overly aggressive way.

Jel(onzo/fonzo/la fleur): I put them together because I think the jelly's are a hive mind. Anyway the S3 guy has on sight security to shoot me on sight if I even look at the door while trying on a shirt.

Flow: depending on what it is she might just look the other way. Kids, y'know? Just don't make a habit of it. She's possibly on something. Very new age. She seems like she sells crystals. That's not even related I just wanted to say it.

Bisk: This guy kinda looks like a bro but in an obnoxious kinda unlikeable way. He's pretty cool though and so long as it's just some cheap slip-ons he probably wouldn't notice.

Gnarly Eddy: This dude is literally high as hell. You think he even knows I made a purchase? Absolutely would let me steal.

Mr. Coco: He would be very disappointed in me if I tried but also I think he would be supportive of my assumed financial situation. He'd offer me part time work or help my find a job elsewhere. He wouldn't let me shoplift because he wants to see me be my best self.

Harmony: Yes.

[room429]

marxists: anarchism is an unserious ideology

anarchists: shows how much you know, it's not a political ideology at all it's a LIFESTYLE (all political ideologies are equally bad so we don't have one)

[starbiology]

The difference between Manhua Qi Rong and Donghua Qi Rong is their choice of lipstick /j

I see that /j but youre right anon

[mernoid]

im SOOOO OOOO fucking hot look @ me :333

[schizophrenic-klept-hoe-maniac]

One of my coolest lifts to date! I was so proud that day. Haul from last month.

EVERYTHING pictured/in the frame was lifted within 2 hours including the stacks of coloring books.

I am way too lazy to add up the total on this one, but it’s definitely …

Around <$3k~

[cemeterything]

if you're going to plagiarize other people's work you should at least make sure that it doesn't suck. like don't get me wrong plagiarism is shitty regardless but at least if you get called out for stealing something actually good you can still say you have good taste if nothing else. but if you plagiarize something that sucks well then that's just embarrassing for you.

[braincake666]

Does anyone else feel like scene has been sort of sanitized recently? It’s really weird seeing people claiming to be scene but then having shit like “freaks dni” on their blog or kid-ifying the scene.

Like I remember original scene being FULL of drugs and drinking and sex. Groups of scene girls thirsting over celebs using the term smexy, kandi having pills strung onto it to smuggle it into clubs, shows like Black Butler and Ouran High School Host Club and Death Note being staples, Ke$ha being basically a god to us.

It’s bizarre and tbh kind of gross to see people sending death threats to scene and emo folk for doing stuff like have “bad” ships or posting about their self-harm, or freaking out when someone mentions drugs or drinking or sex being involved in the culture, especially early on. Like you guys were the ones bullying us for wanting refuge in this culture in the first place, what the fuck are you doing trying to be part of it now?

[capitanonice]

going thru all the lifting/racking tags on tumblr because i miss the lifting subreddit and thinking man. Why Is Everyone In Here Acting 12 and then the more i think about it its like oh yeah who else on planet earth would publicly post crimes they can be traced back to for aesthetic reasons. “hiiii here’s my itemized list of everything i took today, the prices, and what stores i went to so the cops can search thru all the camera footage and look for me easier and also clock fines on me for stuff they didnt even see me take!! ^_^ hehe”

HEY GUYS,

DO NOT POST TOO MUCH INFORMATION ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE DOING.

DO NOT POST IDENTIFYING INFORMATION ABOUT YOURSELF.

DO NOT USE THE OBVIOUS #SHOPLIFTING TAGS, OR ANY LIKE THEM TO SHARE METHODS OR TIPS.

DO NOT USE TIKTOK OR ANY OTHER MAINSTREAM SOCIAL MEDIA TO TALK ABOUT LIFTING HABITS (YOU SHOULDN’T EVEN BE POSTING IT ON TUMBLR. if you want to talk about it so badly, i recommend maybe a groupchat or something not publicly accessible.)

WHEN YOU DO THESE, YOU ARE RUINING IT FOR THE ENTIRE COMMUNITY AND/OR INCRIMINATING YOURSELF.

also, keep in mind that poor and homeless people lift, and they typically have a way harder time than you do because poor/homeless looking people get immediate suspicion from LP. (this can also include like, all minorities depending on how racist the people working are.) don’t make it harder for them. don’t make your store up their security because you took too much too fast, and now a possible source of food or income is closed off from people who can’t afford a magnet or fancy tag tool like you can.

people take stuff for different reasons. we all need to look out for each other’s backs. don’t fuck this kind of thing up for all of us.

[gojonanami]

okay but hear me out…

shoplifter!reader x security guard!gojo

[duckmine]

since everyone’s been drawing their older belcher kids designs i figured i’d hop on the train as well (totally serious).

[sonic-adventure-3]

literally one of my favourite things about the sonic series is that all of the characters are overflowing with personality and immediately noticeable deeply warped worldviews. like a character with truly baseline “common sense” does not exist. not a single character that can play the straight man in every situation. and i love that! cause it makes for such memorable and recognizable characters in personality alone, and then you heap on masterful and iconic character design on top of that!!

[eclecticopposition]

give meee... headcanons about the Sangfielle friends in the most boring AU you can imagine like. idk. office Sangfielle. grocery store Sangfielle. they all work at a movie theater. whatever sounds mundane as hell and you have Thoughts about :3

okay tumblr ate my fucking answer the first time. let's try this again.

the thing about these guys is that no matter how mundane you make it, they can make anything into a situation. that's just the guys they are. so we put them in a Walmart.

Marn is an employee with a great customer service voice. She's keeping it together in the face of some truly wild statements and requests. One man keeps asking for frootie hooties, a brand of cereal that he insists is real and everyone is just refusing to sell to him, and she's spent twenty minutes trying to tell him that they just don't have it in stock

Lye and Es are having an animated conversation in the clothing area, where she is examining various colorful dresses and he is distractedly picking things off of nearby shelves and putting them back down. The conversation started at how they got kicked out of dayward yve's novelty store and is now about whether stealing should be more or less of a crime than manslaughter, because it's not as bad as killing but it is on purpose. People are trying not to pay attention to them. Eventually they are asked to leave, at which point it is revealed that lye has about two hundred dollars worth of items in his pockets and es has some candles she liked and a new pair of shoes in hers. They are both barred from Walmart.

Duvall hates it here. It's loud, he hates the lights, the aisles make no sense, he can't find anything he's looking for, and people keep coming up to him to ask him where things are. He doesn't even work here. Why do people assume he works here? He's not even wearing any Walmart merchandise. Is that what it's called when you're an employee? Merchandise? Well, it's what it would be called if he wears it, which he never will, because he doesn't work here and never wants to. Have a nice day ma'am.

Pickman is slowly marching her way through the aisles one at a time, peering at her shopping list and holding a tiny shopping basket in one hand. She has to be very careful not to knock the shelves over sometimes. Just trying to get groceries. People are nervously avoiding her. Says "Hey, you" to some poor employee to ask where the milk and cigarettes are. Just grunts at everything else. When she's at the checkout, the guy there asks "Did you find everything you're looking for?", and she just says "No." and leaves

Chine comes out of the bathroom with a live rat in his hand. People scream. The manager finally comes up to him like "Sir, you can't have rats in here." They say "Oh, she's not mine. She was just having trouble opening the door." Gets a big meat on the bone at the deli and nothing else. When he asks how much it costs, they just say it's on the house and try to get him to leave as soon as possible. They go like "Oh, really? Are you sure? I have some money." and sound surprised but pleased, like they're being done a personal favor. The employees insist. He's like "Alright, thanks!" and then asks the rat if she wants anything

[slutdge]

more Eyehategod on the big bird cassette player