#and that is not a joke!

[sextions]

going thru all the lifting/racking tags on tumblr because i miss the lifting subreddit and thinking man. Why Is Everyone In Here Acting 12 and then the more i think about it its like oh yeah who else on planet earth would publicly post crimes they can be traced back to for aesthetic reasons. “hiiii here’s my itemized list of everything i took today, the prices, and what stores i went to so the cops can search thru all the camera footage and look for me easier and also clock fines on me for stuff they didnt even see me take!! ^_^ hehe”

HEY GUYS,

DO NOT POST TOO MUCH INFORMATION ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE DOING.

DO NOT POST IDENTIFYING INFORMATION ABOUT YOURSELF.

DO NOT USE THE OBVIOUS #SHOPLIFTING TAGS, OR ANY LIKE THEM TO SHARE METHODS OR TIPS.

DO NOT USE TIKTOK OR ANY OTHER MAINSTREAM SOCIAL MEDIA TO TALK ABOUT LIFTING HABITS (YOU SHOULDN’T EVEN BE POSTING IT ON TUMBLR. if you want to talk about it so badly, i recommend maybe a groupchat or something not publicly accessible.)

WHEN YOU DO THESE, YOU ARE RUINING IT FOR THE ENTIRE COMMUNITY AND/OR INCRIMINATING YOURSELF.

also, keep in mind that poor and homeless people lift, and they typically have a way harder time than you do because poor/homeless looking people get immediate suspicion from LP. (this can also include like, all minorities depending on how racist the people working are.) don’t make it harder for them. don’t make your store up their security because you took too much too fast, and now a possible source of food or income is closed off from people who can’t afford a magnet or fancy tag tool like you can.

people take stuff for different reasons. we all need to look out for each other’s backs. don’t fuck this kind of thing up for all of us.

[copepods]

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

[redstonedust]

"tumblr humor is only funny to tumblr users" NOT true. those bitches on pinterest love us.

[deathtokillian]

10/10 dad joke

[androdragynous]

being on tumblr for a long time but never reading homestuck like

[lovelesswav]

[blondebrainpowered]

Mouse Armor by Jeff de Boer

Etsy Mouse armor necklace and earrings available as well as other work by Jeff de Boor.

[insomniac-arrest]

You can survive almost anything through the right combination of:

Bitching and moaning

Hater-ology

Doing a goofy little bit about it

Having a buddy say "that's so fucked up" at intermittent points (you can also be your own buddy)

Destroying the cursed amulet you carry everywhere, why do you even have that thing

[cringecorp]

they say you can't pour from an empty cup but i've been doing it my whole life and aside from all of these mysterious ailments it's working out great for me

[werewolfetone]

[wizardnuke]

"skibidi toilet is ruining gen alpha" do none of you people remember asdf. i remember asdf.

[minyicho]

starting a collection of my favourite AO3 author’s notes

honourable mentions

[vimbry-moved]

[itsdappleagain]

jesus no