#like at this point you guys need to admit you think jonathan and simone are sexy and you wanted to see them play different characters

[roobylavender]

one of the most irritating things about romance readers / viewers to me is that despite the obsession with tropes they never really want to be honest with themselves as to the fact that they like for romance to work in a particular way and when they develop a liking for a relationship that doesn’t work along those predetermined parameters they complain as if the relationship has been undermined in text. like i see this esp in response to tragic or restrained romances where people acknowledge there is palpable chemistry and depth of narrative but nonetheless constantly complain that the relationship gets no promo or the payoff happens too late or the characters are never happy and it’s like.. that’s literally.. the point.. like if you want two people to be instantly happy and not faced with problems and you hate a romantic narrative that edges you to the very end and makes the characters really fight for what they have why are you reading / watching whatever this is. why don’t you make this easier for everyone in the room and go pick something else to fawn over that actually bends to your tastes and will

[walkwithheroes84]

Bridgerton Season 2 Thoughts/Season 3 Speculation

I binged the second season of Bridgerton, and I have thoughts. I reread The Viscount Who Loved Me just last week, so the overall story is fresh in my mind. I was a little shocked to see the changes that were made to the story - it wasn’t completely like the novel, and I was annoyed with some of the changes. 

It also appears as if speculation for season three (which should be based on An Offer From A Gentleman aka Benedict and Sophie’'s novel), but the show runners, Nicola Coughlan, and even (to a point) Luke Newton have strongly hinted at season three being for Colin and Penelope. And, that would be disappointing in so many ways. 

Spoilers for season two, the speculation on season three, and future novels follow.

The Characters

Anthony - In the books, Anthony is the stern father-figure/older brother. In the first season, he was just an ass. Anthony was still a jerk this season. I hated what he did to Edwina (I hated that whole story). I think the only thing that saved Anthony is his feelings for Kate and their sexual tension/love. There were just too many things that made him unlikeable (at times). Jonathan Bailey’s performance saved this character for me.

Kate - In the books, Kate was a different character. She almost became a villain of sorts with everything that happened. I think it is interesting to see a character try and be selfless, by putting their hopes and dreams onto someone else, thus making them selfish. And, in this season that was Kate. They completely ignored her tramnua and her fears and that needed to be there for the story to really work. However,Simone Ashley was amazing. Let her stick around for season three.

Edwina - In the book she is a sweet girl, who wants to marry a scholar. She only lets Anthony court her, because she believes she should. They go on a couple of dates, but it is clear that she isn’t interested and when Kate admits to liking Anthony, Edwina basically tells Kate: “Uh, yeah, I know.” In the show, she gets fleshed out a bit more, but not always in a good way. I often wondered how she didn’t see the eye fucking between her sister and Anthony. The way she was blind and the way she fell “in love” with Anthony, despite only having a few conversations. I just, whatever. However, at the end, when Edwina admitted that she had let Kate mold her into a person. I did like that. Oh, and she gets to marry a prince. Good for her. Oh, and I have to give Charithra Chandran her due. Even when Edwina annoyed me, I did feel for the character.

Benedict - I am so glad I watched season one before reading the books. Benedict can be a bit of an ass in his book. But, Luke Thompson makes him so damn likable on the show, that I ended up loving him in the book. All that aside, he needs to have season three be his, because his story within the show is going in circles. His the tortured artist who doesn’t believe he is good enough, so he drinks and jokes. Get that man his Sophie fast. Get him that maturing story he needs,

Eloise - Eloise needed something to do, but her storyline felt like it was a rehash of season one. If she wants to be out there changing the world, they could have gone in that direction. Maybe accidently meeting Theo. The two talking, sneaking off to lectures. It would have allowed her to become more mature. I understand that she's 17/18,  but they could have shown her trying to break away from her role in society in an active way. Not just  hiding at balls and that one (very quick) conversation with Violet.

Daphne - It was nice that she gave Anthony some talks and that she noted Anthony/Kate before anyone. But, a lot of that could have been given to Violet.

Colin- He is a boy pretending to be a grown up. He’s that guy who spent a year abroad and can’t stop talking about it. He’s smart enough to realize that a ruby is a fake - even though a bunch of men twice his age cannot. He’s so kind to Penelope one day, so much so you think he’s realized his love for her, and completely not interested the next. The writing for him is so over the place. He is my least favorite of his family. He needs to spend the next season maturing.

Francesca - Why does this girl keep disappearing in the middle of each season? I know the actress has other projects. And, I know that a large character trait for her is Francesca enjoying the country life and spending time with relatives. But, this child is in the first couple of episodes and then disappears. They could at least say: “I do wish Francesca would have stayed longer for the season  instead of visiting Aunt Winnie so soon.” I mean, the girl wasn’t even at her brother’s wedding!

Gregory - It’s great that the show is starting to develop the younger siblings. Personally, I don’t see the show having eight seasons (and if they did get to eight seasons, and Will Tilston would only be  in his early twenties when his season started), nonetheless, I loved his little conversation with Anthony.

Hyacinth - If you haven’t read the books, Hyacinth grows up to be Lady Danbury 2.0. So, I like that we are starting to see little peaks of that. I doubt we will get to Hyacinth story - and again, we have someone, Florence Hunt, who would only be in her late teens/early twenties - but I like that they are setting up her personality.

Violet -Seeing the flashbacks with Edmund and the aftermath of his death broke me. Seeing her try to get Anthony to marry for love/be selfish for once was great, but we needed to see a bit more of that.

Lady Danbury - Adjoa Andoh is fantastic in her role. However, I’m not sure if she was needed as much as she was this season? A lot of the scenes she had with Kate should have been between Kate and Mary.

Queen Charlotte - Why is the queen in every episode? Why is she obsessed with a gossip sheet? I understand the show wanting to keep Golda Rosheuvel, but she should probably be a recurring character.

Mary -Wasted. Completely wasted as a character. Her scenes and story with Kate are so important in the novel. The idea of her and her daughters being shunned by society could have been a great story. Her standing up to her parents could have been an amazing scene. They ignored those things in favor of other storylines, and that sucked.

Penelope - I may get hate for this, but I strongly dislike Penelope. Showing her as LW at the end of season one really messed things up for the character. To me, it feels like everything she writes at LW is just to hurt people. She sulks in corners, cries, is harsh to some people/sarcastic to others, and is manipulative at times. All while mooning over Colin. She needs more to make her a more rounded out character. If they go into her and Colin’s love story next season, it won’t feel right. Especially with her going back in writing LW and being out with Eloise at the end of this season.

The Featheringtons - I honestly don’t care. Their scenes are too long. The ended the season with a daughter wed and money. Oh, good. I suppose they are setting it up so they can have a longer role for Penelope’s season.

Things That (For Me) Aren’t Working

Giving Eloise and Benedict the same stories for the two seasons. I understand they need stories for the characters, but they are going around and around.

Marina. They should not have used her as a character in S1. It should have been a new character.  Knowing what happens to her - it feels cruel. Her book ending is horrible and it is sick to me that the show introduced the character, gave her a background, let us know her as a person - only to let her go off with a man she doesn’t love for the sake of Peneople and Colin/later die a horrible death for Phillip and Eloise. It’s even sicker to me that people hate the character so much (or love C/P and/or P/E so much) that they are actively cheering for Marina’s attempted sucided/death.

Penelope. She feels very selfish and manipulative at times. I understand she is 17-19, but I feel like the show has ruined the character. The way is so worried about herself and the LW sheet in the first half of the season. The way she justifies herself in both seasons. I love Nicola Coughlan’s acting in Derry Girls, so she’s talented. I just wish her character was better.

The uneven storylines. Kate/Anthony were the main story of season two. Or they should have been. But, there were times when they were pushed aside for other stories. For example, the Featheringtons story. Or episode six, which showed Edwina deciding if she should marry Anthony, while the queen and many others trying to get her to marry him.

The Speculation on Season Three Chris Van Dusen and Shonda Rhimes have both stated that the show will not directly follow the order of the books. Nicola Coughlan has stated that fans should look forward to Penelope and Colin in season three - even hinting at them getting sexual in season three. The show runners have left a lot of hints that Peneople and Colin will be the lead love story next year. I hate that. The two characters are way too immature. I guess Peneople and Colin are a popular couple among fans, but at this point, I dislike the two characters too much to watch their love story for a full season.

Side note: The family dance was the sweetest scene in the season. I want more family scenes. 

[beclynn-herondale]

Similarities that I see between Jace and Céline

(these are just my thoughts. Press read more to see them.)

↑ this chaotic energy. You think he got it from Stephen? Nah.

Her anxiety reminds me of Jace's. And like their thought process was similar in ways.

They both struggled with belonging.

Céline corrected Robert when he said "Just like a warlock. Always for sale."

And Céline was like "Always on sale."

Again Jace energy.

Céline knew Amatis, Stephen's wife. At least, she knew enough. Amatis was sharp-tongued and stuck up. She was opinionated, argumentative, stubborn, and not even that pretty. There were also rumors that she still secretly associated with her werewolf brother. Céline didn't much care about that—she had nothing against Downworlders. But she had plenty against Amatis, who obviously didn't appreciate what she had. Stephen needed someone who would admire him, agree with him, support him. Someone like Céline. If only she could make him see that for himself.

_

Jace's smile was as bland as buttered toast. "Go on, go after him. Pat his head and tell him he's still your super special little guy. Isn't that what you want to do?"

But he couldn't look at Simon without wanting to kill someone.

“And even back then, in that stupid coffee shop. When I saw you sitting on the couch with Simon, even then that felt wrong to me—i should have been the one sitting with you. The one that made you laugh like that. I couldn't get rid of that feeling. That it should have been me.”

↑ Their bitterness, anger, jealousy, and envy towards the person who had the person they wanted and in general has the same energy in my opinion.

They both were angry and jealous of people who had it better or they considered to be good—Like, that was why Jace hated Simon so much at first, because Simon was everything Jace thought he'd never get to be, he just didn't realize it.—And Céline was angry of the kids in the academy who had loving parents and good childhoods, and weren't damaged like she was—they both were angry because somebody was someone or had something they thought they'd never get to be or have. (In Céline's case she never actually got it, not really.)

They both like to wander around when upset.

They both aren't too fond of the Silent Brothers. And I think that has to do with their head being full of certain things they don't want others to know, and the Silent Brothers speak in your mind, almost like they're reading your thoughts.

They're both observant, which could be from growing up in abusive and toxic environments but could also just be they're observant people.

They both can tell when someone is off. We see this when Céline sees through Valentine's mask. Jace often saw through the lies of people in TMI and still does.

And the both hate being pitied. Like it angers them when people pity them, we see that with Jace quite often in TMI, but we see it when Dominique says this: “Every Downworlder in Paris knows about poor Céline Montclaire, wandering the city like a murderous little Éponine. We all feel a little sorry for you.”

And then Céline thought this: Céline lived with a steady, secret simmer of rage, but now she felt it boiling over.

↑ Again, the above reminds me of Jace. He lived with anger that he kept under control but would boil over when triggered.

They're both sensitive. And get hurt easily.

“I wish I could be more like you,” she admitted.

In what sense?

“You know, just shut off my feelings? Feel nothing. For anybody.”

There was a long pause, and she wondered if she had offended him. Was that even possible? Finally, his cool, steady voice spoke.

This is a wish you should dispense with. Feeling is what makes us human. Even the most difficult feelings. Perhaps especially those. Love, loss, longing—this is what it means to truly be alive.

__

“I think—my father was sorry he had a parabatai,” he said. “Now I have to go live with a man my father was sorry about. I don't want to be weak, I don't want to be sorry. I want to be the best.”

If you pretend to feel nothing, the pretense may become true, said Jem. That would be a pity.

↑ They both wished to feel nothing, and had Jem tell them that wasn't as great as they thought. But they both still desperately wanted to not feel.

When she was a child, her parents had often refused her iratzes after training sessions, especially when her injuries were caused by her own mistakes. Let the pain remind you to do better next time, they told her. All these years later she was still making the same mistakes.

_

“No! it's better for your parents not to know it happened at all. It was just bad luck that one of them got me. I'm a good fighter,” Jonathan protested sharply.

“It's my fault I got hurt,” said Jonathan. “I know excuses are for incompetents. It won't happen again.”

↑ this bit on making mistakes, or when getting hurt.

Céline always carried a misericord blade.

↑ Reminds me of someone else who always carries blades.

They both were aware of the consequences of putting a rune on someone that they weren't 100% sure were Nephilim, and it was different circumstances but they did it anyway. Jace gave Clary her first rune and Céline gave Rosemary her first rune (I think).

More furious at her own instinct for mercy. After all, her parents had never shown any to her. Her parents had done their best to teach her that mercy was weakness, and cruelty was strength.

_

Jonathan said the word "weakness" with horror. Jem wondered what a man who had drilled a boy to fight like that might have considered weakness.

↑ Mercy, kindness, gentleness, etc. Was taught as weakness to them both growing up.

They both hate being predictable. Kinda like when Rosemary knew Céline would keep her secret. Céline hated that she knew that. Remember in CoA when everyone was guessing that Jace said no to Valentine, and he hated it.

They both never really felt like they were ever a kid. Because again, the environment they grew up in forced them to grow up faster than they should have. Which is why Jace didn't think of himself as one when he threw himself into battle.

like Jace I don't think Céline liked to upset the balance of things, meaning they don't pry and don't pressure. Which often gets them labeled as "not too bright" or "unobservant" they're both observant, they just don't say it out-loud. Jace is definitely like this, but I see Céline as this too. Stephen said she always needed to be told what to do, but I don't think it was that exactly, I think she just didn't like to upset things. Which growing up in an abusive and toxic environment does that. But I think it's also just part of who they are.

That sweet and obedient daughter of the provençal countryside. They knew how devoted she was to her parents. Such a dutiful daughter.

↑ Valentine often called Jace his obedient son. I see Jace in this part as well. Sebastian called him Valentine's "sweet boy."

She could close the door on the past, start again. She could choose a life without pain, without suffering or fear.

But who would she be without pain?

This also reminds me of Jace. Obviously he did end up choosing to walk away from Valentine. But there are times he doubted, because in reality he himself didn't know who he was without the pain he'd experienced, without his past with Valentine. And they both believed that the pain and suffering had made them stronger. Jace later knows that isn't true, but I see the similarity there.

They're both said to have vulnerability about them that made you wan to protect them. To keep them safe. Jocelyn said you couldn't really hate Céline, and I think it's kinda the same with Jace.

Both of them refused to ask for help. Thinking they could do it all on their own.

Céline could tell how much it hurt—and how determined the woman was to reveal no pain. She knelt by her side. Rosemary flinched away. “Let me see—I can help."

_

“Tell me what happened first.” She tried to yank her wrist back, but his grip was incredibly strong. “I can help you.” — this is in Clary's pov.

↑ Their willingness to help the pretty stranger they didn't know.

They both often felt they didn't have a choice in some things.

They both felt achingly alone at some point. And very much misunderstood.

The thought of losing the only family they ever had scared them, and they were willing to do anything to keep them. Even if in Céline's case hers wasn't that real.

They were both said to be beautiful, and breakable. Fragile almost. These were Jocelyn's words. That beautiful things were easily broken.

They both grew up denied of love and care.

Céline had low self esteem in a lot of areas. We often see Jace as the confident character who doesn't have insecurities or low self-esteem. but he does. Jace didn't like himself, his looks don't play a part here, he didn't like himself. He actually didn't feel good enough or worth much, that's why he made so many superiority jokes, because he truly didn't feel good enough but had to make everyone believe he did. Céline didn't feel good enough either, but she tried not to let it show.

Their childhood gave them bad coping mechanisms and suicidal tendencies. They both self harmed in ways, believing that pain made you stronger is one of them.

We often look over the fact that while some of Jace's mental struggles did come from the trauma of his childhood and growing up around war, that he was already at a high risk with a mother who experienced similar things. Because if you have a parent who has mental illness the offspring are at higher risk of developing one. And his childhood didn't help with that.

And we know what they both truly wanted was to be loved and safe. Really. Jace always thought he wanted to fight all the time, but by the end of tmi he realized he just truly wanted to be happy and left alone, he just wanted Clary and his family. Céline wanted that too, but she never got it.

You all realize they would understand each other, right? Like if Cassie ever did something where they somehow met, Céline would understand Jace and he would understand her.

Céline would have never raised Jace with anything but love and care. She would have made sure he never knew a childhood like hers. But he did. He ended up knowing what that was like. And it would have broken her even more to know that.

But she would probably stab Valentine in the face, which I'd like to see.

Friendly reminder that Jace looks like her around the eyes (no I won't shut up about this.)

There's probably more but until we learn more we won't know. Just remember he may be a Herondale but Céline is also there.

@khaleesiofalicante I tagged you 😎

[incomprehensiblelentils]

Lentils’ 2020 Christmas Movie Rankings

My wife and I watched a lot of Christmas movies this year, and I thought it would be fun to rank them based on which ones I think were most watchable and enjoyable. I’ve left out a few that we watched during this time period, which are classic Christmas movies (Miracle on 34th Street), action movies set at Christmas (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and Iron Man 3), or older romances set around Christmas (While You Were Sleeping and You’ve Got Mail), because it’s not fair to rank these amongst, well, some of the movies we saw.

my top 5, for those of you who don’t like reading (which is fair): The Princess Switch: Switched Again, Dashing in December, The Princess Switch, Jingle Jangle, Happiest Season.

my top 3 Chaotic Christmas Movies: A New York Christmas Wedding, 12 Pups of Christmas, The Princess Switch: Switched Again. Please watch these movies if you enjoy chaotic plots. Please especially watch the first two I listed because holy shit my summaries do not properly convey the chaos.

The Princess Switch: Switched Again (2020): Some people on the internet have been VERY RUDE about this movie and I’m sorry they don’t appreciate a true chaotic holiday gem when they see it. This movie involves two Vanessa Hudgenses, Scheduled Vanessa and Spontaneous Vanessa, who are distant cousins and not twins, switching places to try to facilitate Spontaneous Vanessa getting back together with her ex the baker, but Scheduled Vanessa is intercepted by a third cousin Vanessa, Horny Vanessa, who wants to take Spontaneous Vanessa’s place as queen. I don’t want to spoil anything that happens in this movie so that you can experience the batshittery for yourself, but I found every second absolutely delightful. It also has two very good romantic couples who are cute and who genuinely seem to like each other, which is not something I can say for every movie on this list!

Dashing in December (2020): This movie has gay cowboys, is set on a ranch, and features a squaredancing scene, so if that isn’t your bag, you are probably not going to like it very much. I found it deeply charming and the only reason it isn’t #1 is that three quarters of the way through, the lead suddenly turns back into a giant jerk for no real reason and that was very upsetting. But it all works out in the end. The main romance is very cute, there are horses, the horsemanship doesn’t totally suck ass, and there are some fun side characters. It’s not reinventing the wheel, but it’s pleasant.

The Princess Switch (2018): Again, some people are mean about this movie and they shouldn’t be because it is CUTE GODDAMMIT. It is absolutely The Prince and the Pauper but with two Vanessa Hudgenses, but also, it shows the aforementioned two good romantic couples falling in love and they are delightful. I am not saying this is a great masterpiece of romance, but the filmmakers actually tried to give these characters reasons to like each other, which, again, is not true for some of the movies on this list.\

Jingle Jangle (2020): I kind of feel bad putting this movie on the same list as TV movies that were obviously just shit out by Hallmark or whoever, because this clearly had a lot of love and heart put into it, and it really shows. I was so immediately charmed by this movie that I didn’t even mind when it immediately went in very silly directions. I don’t know if the plot makes sense at all (a cute robot shows up for seemingly no reason other than that cute robots are fun!) but it doesn’t have to, because everyone is having so much fun and there’s so much joy in this movie that I was just happy to be along for the ride. Also, I would love to see an entire movie in the stop-motion style from the opening scene.

Happiest Season (2020): I absolutely understand why some people didn’t like this movie, and I don’t want anyone to feel like they can’t dislike it, and also, it’s MY movie, and I love it, and I’m not interested in fighting about it. It helped me come out to my parents and also featured two of my faves kissing and that’s all I need. 

Noelle (2019): I was previously under the impression this movie was bad, and I don’t know why, because it’s a little embarrassing and cheesy at times, but it’s sweet. I suspect what will make or break it for you is if you like Anna Kendrick, and because I like Anna Kendrick, I like watching her play a neurotic Claus sibling trying desperately to fix the problem she accidentally caused. One weird thing though: this movie tried to convince me about halfway through that she was both spoiled and selfish, and I don’t actually think that’s true at all. I think she was a little naive and sheltered and wanted people to like her way too much, but she’s not really shown to be a selfish person - she’s constantly paying attention to other people in the real world and her brother is the one who refused to admit that he wasn’t cut out for the Santa gig and instead fucked off to “find himself” or whatever. It was weird! But anyway, I liked this movie a lot.

I’ll Be Home For Christmas (1998): So this movie...one Christmas Eve when I was in high school, I was having trouble falling asleep for whatever reason so I went downstairs to get some water. My mom happened to have the TV on and this movie was just starting, and she invited me to join her. Fun fact: this movie went to theaters and it stars Jonathan Taylor-Thomas and Jessica Biel. It is one of the dumbest movies I’ve ever seen in my life and at no point does anyone in it actually behave like a human being. It’s about a smooth-talking jackass who has to be bribed to come home for Christmas and then, after one of his dumbass moneymaking schemes lands him in hot water, he gets abandoned in the middle of the California desert wearing a Santa suit and glued-on beard. He then has to beg, lie, and cheat his way home for Christmas dinner so that his dad will give him a vintage Porsche they fixed up together. I have no defense for this character; he is insufferable and only becomes marginally less so by the end of the film. But also, I have to watch this movie every year (usually with my mom, although not this year for obvious reasons) or it doesn’t feel like Christmas. 

A Cinderella Story: Christmas Wish (2019): We own this on DVD and have seen it three times. In our defense, we wanted to support Gregg Sulkin from Runaways and Isabella Gomez from One Day at a Time, both of whom feature prominently in this movie, and also sing songs. This is just Cinderella But At Christmas, and if that doesn’t sound like fun to you, I don’t think anything I can say will change your mind. I will say that the songs are amusingly autotuned, there’s a disabled dog that’s very cute, and I personally think that the leads have slightly better chemistry than some of the pairs on this list. But it is literally just another Cinderella Story movie.

The Knight Before Christmas (2019): This movie is Thor (2011) But At Christmas, and it would have been slightly higher except I always forget about the plot where at the end the knight becomes a cop. Bad, obviously! But anyway, the plot of this movie is: nice but clueless dude crash-lands on Earth for Reasons and bumbles around trying to figure out what’s up, while falling in love with a nice lady. That’s just Thor and you know I’m right. And for as dumb as this movie is, at least it’s ambitious. I have learned that Christmas movies can do one of two things to please me: a) have actors that have decent chemistry and charm and are fully committed to whatever nonsense is going on, or b) have absolutely batshit chaotic plots. This movie is like a 4 out of 5 on the chaos scale and I like it a lot, besides the copaganda. I hope this also gets made into a trilogy and Cole isn’t a cop anymore.

A Christmas Prince 3: The Royal Baby (2019): I will get into my problems with the first two Christmas Prince movies later, but my main criticism is that they are kind of boring and not chaotic enough. This one decided to make up for that by incorporating a missing ancient treaty, a curse, and a ghost, as well as a subplot about Girl Power (I use this semi-ironically) and a subplot about cousin Simon potentially committing treason again. I was so excited that things were happening in this movie the first time I watched it that I may be a little biased, but oh well. Oh, I was also absolutely terrified it was going to be racist and it is...mostly not? There are a few questionable moments but like mostly it’s fine.

Christmas With the Prince (2018): I wanted to watch this because the summary on Netflix did not match the summary on Google at all, and that’s because, uh, they’re both sort of right? Ostensibly this movie is about a pediatric oncologist who comes back into contact with an old almost-flame, who just happens to be the prince of a tiny European country, because he fucked up his leg and needs somewhere private to stay. And apparently a pediatric oncology ward is the best place for that? But then after they fall in love this random Russian lady shows up and is like “that’s my fiance.” This happens maybe twenty minutes from the end. Anyway, this movie isn’t great but I liked the lead guy way more than I thought I would and it has some cute kids in it.

A New York Christmas Wedding (2020): I...am at a loss for words to describe this...motion picture. On the surface it is a cute idea: a young Black woman, Jennifer, is getting married to her boyfriend on Christmas Eve, but she’s given a chance by her guardian angel (stay with me) to go back in time and redo her life, after losing touch with her childhood best friend, Gabrielle, who she was always in love with but never confessed her feelings to. She wakes up in an alternate timeline, where she and Gabrielle have been together for years and her beloved father is still alive. Then the movie, uh...veers off into some very odd places! They go to their Catholic priest and ask him to marry them, and he is like “but the Bible” and they are like “but that’s bullshit” and he’s like “shrug” and then later during a sermon he’s like “actually that IS bullshit, everyone gay in this church come stand up here with me. We love you. Also we’re going to perform a wedding now” and then he marries Jennifer and Gabrielle. And then Jennifer’s angel shows up and is like “you have to choose between this life and your old life now” and then uh...I really hate to spoil this next thing. It is the weirdest choice I’ve ever seen a movie make and if you’re even the slightest bit interested in this movie, I think you should experience this plot point for yourself. I’m going to put the batshit spoiler in ROT13 in case you want to avoid spoiling yourself. (GJ: fhvpvqr) Wraavsre'f thneqvna natry erirnyf gung ur vf gur fba bs Tnoevryyr, jub va gur bevtvany gvzryvar tbg certanag nf n grra naq ure snzvyl frag ure gb n ahaarel. Fur zvfpneevrq naq fhofrdhragyl qvrq ol fhvpvqr. Uvf anzr vf Nmenry Tnovfba. Anyway, uh, this movie isn’t very good, unfortunately, the adult leads have no chemistry and Gabrielle’s adult self is actively unlikable (the teen versions of them are cute!), but I think it’s 1000% worth a watch for the sheer chaos of it all. I...recommend it for that, I guess? Oh, also there’s a sex scene that plays a slow sexy version of “O Christmas Tree” in the background and I felt like I was losing my mind. 

A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding (2018): As I said in my commentary on the third movie in this series, the worst sin this movie commits is being kind of boring. It also manages to make the romantic hero, Richard, even worse than in the first movie, where he was just kind of useless and petulant, because in this movie he is actively failing to do anything to revive the failing economy of his country. I have seen people complain that the prince in The Princess Switch and Cole in The Knight Before Christmas have no personalities; they are delightful compared to the wet paper bag of a man in this movie. Rose McIver is adorable and I don’t think any of this is her fault, she’s doing her best in these movies, but woof.

12 Pups of Christmas (2019): The Google summary of this movie, which we found on Hulu, is this: “Struggling to keep his dog GPS locator company afloat, Martin expects his new hire, Erin, to help him save the company and find homes for 12 puppies that were left behind after a photo shoot. As they work together, Erin and Martin begin to discover each other's positive qualities and find love just in time for the holidays.” My wife and I love dogs, so we put this on, expecting cute dogs. This movie contains approximately 80% chaos and 20% cute dogs. It opens with our heroine, a canine therapist, coming home from work to have dinner with her fiance and best friend. We find out that Erin and fiance are moving to California soon for her new job (they live in New York). Fast forward a few days to their courthouse wedding, at which point her fiance and best friend confess to having an affair, and she is dumped. Heartbroken, she moves to California alone, and ends up moving into the company-provided house. It is just a two-story house (??) that the CEO’s sister owns (???) and rents out to employees (????). Also Erin is, as the Google summary says, expected to come up with some grand idea to save the company. And there are 12 random puppies also. They are cute puppies. Oh, also Martin, the CEO of the dog collar company, hates dogs for some reason. Martin’s sister is aggressively friendly towards Erin in a way that I interpreted as sapphic. At one point, after they find a home for dog #3, Erin’s former BFF shows up on her doorstep (?????) begging to be let in. She insists that the fiance was also two-timing her, and she has proof that he had FIVE OTHER GIRLFRIENDS ALL AROUND THE COUNTRY - “that’s why he’s a traveling businessman”!!!! Erin never asks to see her proof, but I guess she believes her, because she lets her inside and then makes her take care of the remaining eight dogs out of spite. I guess they make up at some point. Anyway, somewhere in here Erin and Martin are starting to fall in love and also come up with a way to rebrand the business, so hooray for them. We also learn that the reason Martin hates dogs is that his beloved childhood dog, uh, ran away? Disappeared? Got eaten? He insists that “not knowing [what happened to him] was the worst part,” but I was out here expecting to see the child finding an actual dead dog like it’s John Wick or something so this was a little anticlimactic. They go on a business trip to New York talk with Important Japanese Investors, during which they fuck (it is? romantic? allegedly?), and then the morning of their meeting Erin’s shitty ex shows up in the hotel lobby to bother her. Martin decks him square in the face for not leaving her alone, and then someone calls the cops, because I guess this movie said ACAB, and both dudes get arrested and Erin has to do the presentation alone. And then in the last five minutes Martin gets out of jail and Erin says that she gave the presentation to the investors...in English, and their translator was twenty minutes late, and so the investors understood none of what she said. Thankfully we are spared actually seeing this “joke,” but they do play racist music over her explanation. Then Martin reconnects with his rich dad who bails out the company instead, and also he adopts the four remaining dogs. This movie was fucking bananas and very bad and I need more people to understand exactly how bad. Watch this movie.

A Nutcracker Christmas (2016): Amy Acker has two Christmas movies and this one seemed more palatable than Dear Santa, so here we are. I like to watch Amy Acker be cute and dance, and she has an adorable teenage niece in this movie that she’s helped raise. In this movie she’s a former ballet dancer whose sister (hilariously, one of the Wynonna Earp lesbians) died in a tragic car accident, and she never got to dance the part of the Sugarplum Fairy. Spoiler alert: she gets to by the end of the movie. Unfortunately the love interest is basically Satan incarnate and does not deserve her at all, so unless you like yelling at romantic leads I can’t really recommend it. 

Godmothered (2020): This movie is just, uh, Enchanted but worse, and also it should have been sapphic and it isn’t? Poor Jillian Bell is doing her best and is adorable, but it’s not enough to save this movie for me. If Disney were not cowards she would have fallen in love with single mom Isla Fisher. Oh, it also ends with the very white younger daughter doing a public cover of “Rise Up” by Andra Day that the audience joins in on, which, considering its use in the BLM movement the last couple years, felt, uh, not great to me.

A Christmas Prince (2017): It’s maybe not far to compare this to the rest of the Netflix Christmas Cinematic Universe, because it was the originator. But also, it’s pretty boring. Sorry. Simon, or Fiddles (Fake Hiddles/Tom Hiddleston) is the best character.

Married by Christmas (2016): Apparently an alternate title for this is The Engagement Clause, which is sort of funny. Anyway, this has Jes Macallan and we, being big fans of Legends of Tomorrow, lost our shit when we found this on Christmas Day and had to watch it. The plot is that Jes’ character runs the family business, but their shitty grandma died and left a clause in her will where the business goes to the husband of whichever granddaughter gets married first. You would think that Jes’ sister and her fiance would postpone their Christmas Eve wedding to give Jes time to set up some kind of platonic wedding for business purposes, since Jes’ entire life is this stupid business, but nope, they immediately turn into monsters who are determined to get their hands on the business for ???? reasons???? It’s not very good, as you can tell by how low it is on the list. Jes Macallan is not a convincing straight businesswoman. I wouldn’t even really enjoy this movie as an Avalance AU.

A Princess for Christmas (2011): Here we are, the worst one Christmas movie I watched this year. I don’t actively harbor any ill will towards Katie McGrath, although I confess to feeling a bit “her?” but it’s fine. I was hoping this movie would enlighten me to her appeal. Instead, this movie actively got on my nerves in multiple ways, including trying to pass Katie McGrath off as a normal American retail worker instead of an Irish vampire/sorceress/supervillain/fairy/whatever she is. Her accent is shockingly awful, which I’m not sure is actually her fault, is there a reason her family wasn’t just British? That wouldn’t have saved the movie but it would have made it just slightly more palatable. At every turn it makes the worst choices, including a scene where Katie’s character puts on a rap song and she and the prince dance to it in an attempt to show them “loosening up,” and then the mean grandfather comes in and demands that they “turn this ghetto music off.” YIKES. I know these movies are the whitest movies ever by design but was that racism necessary? The only Black people I actually saw in this movie were some of the servants, I think? Speaking of the servants, at the end of the movie there’s a grand ball and Katie’s dress gets fucked up, and she’s about to leave the country, and then the servants are like “don’t go! We pooled our money to buy you another nice dress!” which, also yikes! This movie has a real classism problem. It also was so boring I zoned out of it multiple times, and I have sat through Manos: The Hands of Fate and Birdemic multiple times. This movie has no chaos whatsoever and I hated all the characters. 0/10 do not recommend under any circumstances.

[bitchfury]

shadowhunters!!

* I DID NOT READ THE BOOKS

i’m literally only here to talk about malec.. that’s it, that’s the whole post.

no - but seriously !! also, expressing my gratitude to tumblr for all of the gay gifs i was hit with as soon as i searched for shadowhunters. may the angel bless ya’ll!! especially @maia-roberts​ for the starting gif with ms lightwood. 

so lets go and delve into some magnus and alec talk, because that’s literally the only relationship that matters to me. 

kidding, i’m going to be rating relationships in the show with hot takes.

but actually, if i’m being honest * don’t hate me but, * every relationship that isn’t clary and jace are the only relationships that matter. don’t get me wrong, they’re ?? good ?? together but, something about that relationship doesn’t rub me the right way. bitch, maybe it’s the fact that they literally still thought about boning when valentine made them think they were siblings??

*jace crying cause i’m not a big fan of jlary.. or whatever their shipname is.

n-e-ways..

i also contradict myself a lot when it comes to these relationships because while i was not a big fan of their relationship, i was a huge fan of jonathan and clary!! not them being together!! but just, the sister and brother bond they had made me want to cry, and the way it ended :( you could honestly tell that a part of clary was actually devastated because she really loved the idea of having a brother. even if he was of demon blood. 

malec

10/10 honestly, i loved every bit of their relationship even the sad parts. i legit cried during the marriage scene when alec was supposed to marry lydia, but then magnus walked in and lydia was so kind and they had that kiss... and.. and..

honestly tho - lydia was so nice about it all, i’m actually upset that she didn’t become a part of the crew for longer after she was over thrown by that guy that got isabelle addicted to yin fen. 

all i can say after that - is gay excitement. pure joy is all i feel whenever i watch a scene with alec and magnus together. although, the scene where they both marry eachother as jonathon is, y’know, destroying the world... i actually wasn’t a huge fan of.

something that i find really funny is after 2 months of being in a relationship, alec pulls a ultragay move and asks magnus if he can move in. if you know.. you know.

ask me any questions about them and i’ll honestly give you my thoughts on it.. please, i need *someone* to talk to about their relationship.

sisabelle

don’t make fun of me, okay? i knew the shipname looked sus as soon as i wrote it down, but idk if that’s their actual one because i haven’t joined the fan club group chat for shadowhunters. 

ALL I GOTTA SAY IS 1000000/10!!

i’ve literally been waiting since episode for isabelle and simon to get together, i get that isabelle only saw simon as some form of entertainment for the first episodes before he got stolen, but i still really wanted them to be together. and the fact that they did!! omg.

it makes me so upset that the show got cancelled so we didn’t get to see more scenes of them together I MEAN ISABELLA LITERALLY CAUGHT ON FIRE FOR THEIR FIRST KISS, so i pray that one day i become powerful enough that netflix / freeform decides to let it air for a couple more seasons. i mean, if greys anatomy gets 17 seasons, why can’t shadowhunters get 5 or 6? (not dissing greys btw, i’ve watched it.)

mat / baia

8/10 i’m not even going to talk about maia and bat because... no. i mean - they’re cute together but it actually caught me so off guard, i did not see it coming but i know where the showrunners were coming from because :

1. it’s in the book that they get together.

2. it’s some unspoken rule in film that main characters in a tv show need an s/o, and bat just so happened to be there and be attractive.

luke and maryse

9/10 because they are so cute together i loved it so much and when maryse was telling magnus about her lil cute n fun crush on luke it was such an adorable middle schooler moment it made me want to cry. also after sucky husband cheated on her, it was the least the directors could do to make her end up with such an amazing guy!

clace

7/10.. i honestly don’t really know why i’m not a huge fan of the iconic relationship. i mean, i know i said before that the ‘wanting to bone your sister who’s not your sister’ was a deal breaker for me, they ended up not being siblings and all should be well.. right?

this is a relationship i’m stuck on.. cause i don’t know if it’s good or bad.

i guess you could say that the fact that jace blows off his family for clary is one of the reasons, because i don’t really like him as a character. but, at this point, who hasn’t blown everyone off for clary?

no no no, during the whole fiasco when jonathon and clary where bounded together, he told aline that the fact that jonathon morphed into him was worse than jonathon literally killing her cousin.. like, whats worse? your girlfriend kissing you who’s not you, or you not knowing your real cousin was trapped in some evil guys closet and then killed? i was deffo on alines side for that. i know clary’s the main character and all, but come on!! people are right when they question her loved ones. thousands of people have died for her without even knowing her.

so maybe i just don’t like the characters? i mean.. would i do the same if i was in their shoes..? honestly, i’m not even sure.

relationships that didn’t work

i feel ashamed to admit this to ya’ll, especially after my great reviews for all these relationships that the show ended on.. but there were some relationships i was actually a little interested in that did not work.

alec and underhill

4/10 i feel so dirty.. because i was genuinely worried that alec would actually cheat on magnus even tho we all know alec is loyal as fuck. but a little part of me was hoping that he did. am i the new seelie queen? perhaps.

raphael and isabelle

10/10 i’d 100% want them to be together. i wanted them to be together before the whole addiction thing, it’s just sad that that was the only reason they got together. don’t get me wrong, i totally believe that they wanted to be together, but i also believe that they were right in not fufilling that wish because there’d be a 99.9% chance isabella would literally die. or become a vampire, which would be pretty cool.

meliorn and..... jace. 

10/10 there. i said it. yes, this is going to be the last relationship i talk about, i’m ending it on a confusing good note. just seeing them together during the comrade rune time made me think really hard that they’d actually be pretty cute together if jace wasn’t so painfully straight. i especially couldn’t resist when jace said meliorn was a 9/10.. like.. ;), honey, don’t lie. (i know he wasnt, but still. meliorn’s a solid 10.) 

honestly, i probably would ship jace with a lot of other people like rebecca.

[obscureobsidianreblogs]

X-Men Characters Ranking (I) The Worst

These characters aren’t what I would call the worst in the sense that I hate them and I don’t want to see them ever again, because I don’t dislike them as much as I hate how writers have treated them, many of them being basically anything other than plot devices and never having a chance to become better characters. I don’t think there’s no hope for them, only that I haven’t seen them getting chances to prove me there is.

Thunderbird/John Proudstar

This character is a joke in the worst sense of the word, basically being known as “Guy who died and unlike the rest didn’t come back”. It has reached a point Joanthan Hickman needed to create an explanation in-universe to why the hell this is the case!!! The fact all of this happens to the first native american member of the team is unfortunate. Thank God John’s own brother James, Forge and especially Danielle Moonstar came soon after to fix that.

Slipstream/Davis Cameron

I don’t want to sound mean, I really don’t want to, but I really, really, really don’t care about this character. How’s possible for a legend like Chris Claremont, who created so many memorable characters, create one so devoid of any interesting quality? If you want a X-Men male character who’s a surfer, just go with Havok in X-Men Evolution. Her sister Heather is a slightly better case, mostly thanks to the revelation that she’s actually part of Shi’ar royalty and we see her dealing with her body changing while she discovers her inheritance.

Joseph

Initially introduced as a possibly rejuvenated Magneto who decided to undo Magneto’s wrongdoings, what could have been the perfect opportunity to develop the character of Magneto was quickly wasted when writers at the time thought It would be more interesting to make him the third party in a love triangle involving Rogue and Remy. The revelation he was actually just Magneto’s clon and his death proved how much they regretted creating him.

Feral/Maria Callasantos

Maria’s backstory on paper could be a perfect way to create a compelling character: abused since her childhood, and killed her stepfather to protect her sister. Unfortunately Feral was created by Fabian Nicieza and Rob Liefeld, who were more interested in action and fights than in writing compelling characters, and in Maria’s case it really shows. Her perpetual hostility towards her teammates quickly made her unlikeable, and soon after she was written out of the team. But while characters like Shatterstar have become fan favorites thanks to the works of writers like Peter David Feral has remained a character no writer has bothered to do anything with her, except depower her after the House of M event to later made Sabretooth kill her.

Maggott/Japheth

None of the characters that joined the X-Men after the events in Operation Zero Tolerance became universal fan-favorites, but while Marrow and Cecilia Reyes have managed to still pop-up here and there occasionally, Maggott quickly became the fandom’s punching bag, being an usual entry in the “worst mutants/powers” lists and soon after his debut became killed. In a concentration camp, just so his death could be anymore fucked-up. Yikes.

Omega Sentinel/Karima Shapandar

The idea of a biosentinel who still retains her humanity and which she uses to fight against her programming to team-up with mutants and become their friend instead of hunting them down is pretty compelling. Despite that Karima has become a punchline for her tendency to be a character who tends to get possessed or brainwashed too much in a franchise and a genre where character being possessed or brainwashed has become commonplace. It seemed like that cycle was finally going to finish after Brian Wood decided to published an all female team on his X-Men run and decided to make Karima turned back into a human but stay with her mutant friends, but all of that got thrown away when Jonathan Hickman took over, make her a biosentinel again and because he really wants to push the narrative of us vs them he made her team-up with the evil human organization who wants to wipe out mutants, because he says so. Thanks Johnny.

Lifeguard/Heather Cameron

Like I already said above Heather is a slightly more interesting character than her brother Davis, especially after the reveal of her Shi’ar ancestry and her transformation to a much more alien appearance. Although I must admit I initially dislike the character for completely petty reasons. More specifically, the fact she was introduced and paired up with Neal Shaara when Psylocke’s death was still recent, because Neal was sentimentally involved with her at the time. Shipping tends to do those things.

Stacy X/Miranda Leevald

The accusation of female characters being created just to eye-candy is one that I think gets thrown around in excess lately, but in the case of Stacy X it’s pretty much the perfect textbook example. She’s introduced as a prostitute, wears revealing clothing, her powers cause orgasms, flirts with a lot of her male teammates, and let’s not forget that infamous time Chuck Austen thought it would be a good idea to write her saying she was going to watch porn after getting in an argument. Classy. The worst part is that her example was so obvious that she never became really popular among fans, and the writers quickly got rid of her in the most unceremonious way possible, depowering her in the aftermath of House of M, without bothering to even give her the opportunity to be a better character. However, I think there’s still hope for her. In the recent Domino Annual Gail Simone gave her a heartbreaking moment in which Miranda had the opportunity to express how she dealt with her power’s loss and how it affected her.

Sunfire/Shiro Yoshida

I really want to like Shiro, I really do, the issue where he was introduced is still one of my favorites from the Neal Adams and Roy Thomas run. But it’s so obvious writers don’t know what else to do with him except remind people that he doesn’t like teamwork over and over again, feeling like an excuse to include him as little as possible. Also this is a much more shallow reason to dislike him, but I really think he needs an urgent redesign to get rid of that horrible mask.

Thunderbird/Neal Shaara

His backstory, about discovering a new secret biosentinel program that took advantage of India’s most disadvantaged population while looking for his missing brother, is actually one of my favorites on any X-Men character, being emotionally compelling with some social critic sprinkled over it. Unfortunately once he joined the team the most he did was get romantically involved with female teammates, first with Psylocke, a reason I’m sure a lot of fans at the time hated him because she was with Archangel, although tbh it never bothered me that much, and then with Lifeguard. The fact that after Karima Shapandar, the character that got turned into a biosentinel while helping him look for his brother, joined the X-Men no one single writer bothered to make him meet her again despite it was confirmed he retained his powers after House of M shows how little interest writers were in him. Ouch.

Revanche/Kwannon

Although it seems like now with Fallen Angels and Hellions they are trying to make her a much more interesting character, there’s still the fact the character was created an introduced just to have a revealing twist about Psylocke’s body swap, and after the writers realised they didn’t know what to do with her and neither they wanted to fix that, they took the easy way and got rid of her making her contract the Legacy Virus so she could die and they could keep Psylocke being a sexy purple-haired ninja.

Vulcan/Gabriel Summers

I don’t think X-Men: Deadly Genesis is the unholy abomination many fans think it is, but even I admit they make Gabriel a character really hard to like. To begin with he’s supposed to be the third Summers brother, a mystery in the franchise that was introduced back in the 90s but that never got a satisfactory resolution, only a bunch of clues that lead nowhere and red herrings, in the main timeline at least, Claremont wrote in X-Men: The End the twist the third Summers brother was Remy all along. Anyways, so Gabriel is not only supposed to be the answer to a question fans didn’t care anymore at the time, but he was also part of a retcon, one related to a part as iconic to the X-Men cannon as it is the Giant Size X-Men published in 1975 and whose main point in the story was to show a dark secret Xavier hided to the rest of the X-Men (Still handled better than the bs Bendis wrote during the Original Sin event). But Gabriel, instead of first acting as confused as the rest of the X-Men team after they discover his existence, to later discover the truth of what happened, with him too enraged to listen to reasons and start to attack everyone wether what happened to him was their fault or not, Remender wrote Gabriel as a douchebag from the beginning, kidnapping Scott and Rachel and just being plain awful, especially to the one who was actually his niece. And then there’s the whole becoming the new Shi’ar emperor storyline that I couldn’t care less… Let’s see what Hickman does with him, although my hopes are not exactly high.

[little-fandom]

The World Keeps On Racing

"He’s been stupid to hesitate. Too afraid of moving too fast, but is there such thing as moving too fast, when they’re stuck in this world where nothing is permanent and they can lose everything they have at any minute?" Magnus has wasted enough time, and now that it's something that's not on his side, he decides to make the most of it with the one he loves. He knows he wants to spend every minute with Alexander by his side.

Or, Magnus asks Alec to move in with him.

read on ao3

They’d be fine with it.

Magnus remembers Alec’s words, and wishes they had actually come true, but sadly they didn’t.

The breakfast was horrible. All of the glares he received from the other Shadowhunters, the whispers behind his back. Even Alec’s reassurances, that it’s only because of the fact they don’t see many Warlocks here didn’t really help. He still felt awful. And on top of that is this horrible headache. He prays that it doesn’t have to do anything with this new magic, but deep down he knows he’s losing control. And he hates it.

“I guess your fellow Shadowhunters don’t approve of me as much as you thought they would.” Magnus says as they enter Alec’s bedroom after this one hell of a breakfast.

Alec sighs as he turns from the door he’s just closed.

“They just need time to adjust.”

Magnus sends him a glare and a bitter smile, because no, it isn’t a matter of adjusting. It’s much more. It’s been drilled into their heads that Downworlders are always the bad guys, and Magnus is sick of it. How can everyone follow these mindless teachings?

Sometimes he wonders, how come Alexander is so different than any other Shadowhunter. He was also raised in this kind of environment. Being a Lightwood, one of the most respected family in the Shadow World, it was awaited from him to follow every single rule, to never turn a blind eye, and now…

 They’re not rules, they’re suggestions.

He almost laughs as he remembers Alec’s words from just a few hours ago. Only some time ago, he would never suspect Alexander of saying such thing. But he knows what changed him, because Magnus had been changed by the same thing himself.

Love.

And it is such a joy. To watch Alec grow as a man, as a leader, a lover, a Shadowhunter who truly wants to make a change. Now Magnus sees how hard it is, to actually implement some changes, with this kind of people around him. It will take a lot of time, but he’ll never doubt his angel.

He might not have all the time in the world now, but he knows he wants to spend the amount he has with Alec.

And that he’s been stupid to hesitate. Too afraid of moving too fast, but is there such thing as moving too fast, when they’re stuck in this world where nothing is permanent and they can lose everything they have at any minute?

Magnus knows this feeling too well, to lose everything that makes him feel whole. And to lose Alexander would be too much to bear.

Alec moves slowly, until he’s standing right in front of Magnus, in the middle of his bedroom. He rests his hands on Magnus’ waist and the Warlock lets him bring him closer, his own arms wandering to hook behind Alec’s neck.

“Don’t worry about them.” Alec speaks lightly, smiling and shaking his head. “Just try not to care.”

Magnus rolls his eyes at this.

Maybe he’s never been the one to care. It never really mattered, what other people think of him, but right now, to see this kind of hatred… it just hurts. To see how divided their worlds still are.

But Alec is right, he shouldn’t worry. There’s simply no time for that. So he can’t stay here, he knows it. The atmosphere at the Institute will only get more heated when he’s here, and there’s no point at brining any more troubles upon the residents. They have enough to do, with Jonathan still on the move, trying to figure out how to destroy his bond with Clary and the escapees from The Gard, still running around New York.

The other thing, is Alec. He can’t risk him losing his job, because he broke the rules and let a Downworlder stay in his Institute. Consul Penhallow said it herself, she’s watching him precisely. And it’s better from all of them for Alec to remain at his position.

“I think we should look for a new apartment.” Magnus begins, but looks down from Alec’s face, his sight wandering to the limited space between them. He hopes Alec will pick up at the word we, but when his boyfriend speaks, it's a total different thing. 

“Magnus, I meant it. You can stay as long as you’d like-“ Alec tries, but Magnus shakes his head and interrupts.

“I know, Alexnader. And I do appreciate it, but…” He trails of, not really sure how to voice whatever he wants to say.

Alec looks at him curiously, waiting for him to elaborate, but there’s way too many reason, why he shouldn’t stay at the Institute. And Magnus is aware that Alexander would find some words to dismiss all of them. But it could only work in theory.

He feels stupid, trying to say these words when he only refused Alec a few weeks ago. He shouldn’t have. If there's one thing I've learned in the course of my long life, it's to take your time. That’s bullshit. Maybe if you actually have the time, you can take things slow. But it’s been never slow with them. Everything is always rushing.

“I don’t want these Shadowhunters to turn against you because of me.” Magnus admits and Alec’s hold on his waist tightens a bit.

“Magnus, I don’t care. I’m their boss, they can’t just-“

“Let’s just go and see a few apartments today.” Magnus suggests lightly, cutting of the topic for now. Arguing with Alec about this might be pointless, because his Shadowhunter always comes up with an eloquent and reasonable response, endlessly the diplomat.

“I can’t go with you, I have to work.” Alec exhales heavily, probably not looking forward for the day full of work at the office.

“Can’t you take a day of?” Magnus tries hopefully.

“No,” Alec laughs briefly and shakes his head. “I just took one recently.”

“Yeah, which ended up with you going on a mission to Paris to bring Clary back. I wouldn’t say that your day was fully of work, darling.”

He knows that it wasn’t a routine mission, and going after Clary was their own job, but still Alexander works way too much, and Magnus needs him to slow down, and just be there today.

“I know, but it was the right thing to do.” Alec resorts to which Magnus of course nods. Then his boyfriend sighs and speaks furthermore. “Besides, it’s not like I have a great taste in this sort of stuff, I’m sure you can choose your own house-“

“I don’t want it to be only my house.” Magnus blurts out, and Alec’s eyes focus on him now.

“What?” He asks softly.

It’s Magnus’ turn to exhale slowly as he tries to gather up his thoughts.

“I want your opinion, because I want this to be our house… I want to live with you in this new house. For us to live together.”

Alec’s expression softens even more, and he smiles, but there’s some edge to it that Magnus’ can’t place yet. Not until Alexander speaks again.

“Babe, you said no not so long ago.” He’s still smiling, and then laughs lightly. “It was too soon, I got that, I can take a hint-”

“You’re right, it was. Or at least I thought so.” Magnus quickly picks up on his words. “But it isn’t now.”

“How can a few weeks change so much?” Alec questions, but then a look of realization covers his face.

With their lives, a few weeks can change basically everything.

It took a snap of fingers for Asmodeus to take his magic away, a second for the Owl to pierce an arrow through Alec’s chest, another for Simon to banish Lilith and for Clary to disappear, a wave of hand to give Magnus a tad of magic, with all of its consequences.

The thing is, they don’t know what happens tomorrow. And the recent events made them only realise it more. They can wake up tomorrow and see the whole world in flames, but if so, he wants to watch it with Alec by his side.

“Magnus, I don’t want you to think we should rush all this now, because you think you have less time-“ Alec starts, but Magnus cuts in again.

“We don’t know how much time we have.” He says almost pleadingly. “No one knows. And it was stupid of me to refuse you in the first place. I love you, and I want to spend every minute I can with you. I’m sorry it took me so long to understand it-“

“Don’t apologize.” Alec whispers softly. His voice way more emotional than Magnus would have thought, and when he looks back at his face, he can see his eyes getting a bit glassy. “I love you too.” He leans in to place a soft kiss to Magnus’ mouth. “And I want to move in with you. I want to be by your side for as long as I can.”

Magnus nods, lack of words at this confession and not exactly trusting his voice not to reveal how moved he is too.

Alec closes his eyes and rests their foreheads together. They just stay like this for a while.

“But I still need to work today.” Alec breaks their peaceful moment and pulls back lightly. Magnus resist an urge to growl, but settles on rolling his eyes again, which causes Alec to let out a warm chuckle. “We can go see all of the apartments you’d like when I’m finished tonight, okay?”

Magnus can’t help but smile at his boyfriend’s suggestion and he nods, bringing Alec down into a kiss, lack of any other words, before he needs to leave and face another day full of the Shadow World’s issues.

Magnus will always be near to support him.

[mashitandsmashit]

America’s Got Talent: Season 14 - Judge Cuts 4

Alright, let’s get this over with...

Easily the most underwhelming show of the round...Even Jay Leno didn’t look very excited to be there...He didn’t seem very invested in what he was talking about and just mumbled it in his signature Porky Pig voice...Pretty disappointing for such a big personality! When Brad Paisley is the best guest judge of the round this season, you know you need to step it up next year!

But most importantly, none of the acts really excited me either...Granted, I have no arguments with who made it (which is saying something since four of them are singing acts), but there was nobody who stepped it up to the point that I’m going to remember them into the next round...But I guess that’s what happens when Berywam, ADEM, Marcin and LBK are all used up by the last week...

I guess the most unfortunate casualties for this week were SOS, Trigger, Callie Day, Dominguez Poodles, and I was curious to see more of Victor Moiseev’s performance, since it went by so fast that it took me a moment to realize it wasn’t a flashback to his audition that we didn’t see...That said, I won’t exactly be mourning any of them either...

And I DEFINITELY won’t be mourning Jonathan Burns or Kara with a K after showing how useless and annoying they truly can be! I mean, Burns probably just got pressured by the producers to do something pointless, but Kara, MY GOD! I can see now that she’s the type who just won’t shut up and insists on being the center of attention! Even in the Youtube promo showing all the acts just standing there doing a pose in slow-motion, she was the only one moving around, shaking her hair like a diva just to be silly...I am glad that they silenced her, and they better not bring her back as a Wildcard!

So let’s move on to the ones that matter...

7: Benicio Bryant. Well, as usual, I must give props for writing his own song...That said, it didn’t give as much opportunity to show off his range as what he covered in the auditions, and the result was an adequate voice singing a rather humdrum song...He might have backed himself into a corner by reaching the original song phase so early...

6: Jackie Fabulous. As I believe I’ve heard Howie say to Vicki Barbolak last year, being a good comedian is not just saying funny things, but saying things funny...Allow me to use that as criteria for Jackie: Her jokes here were actually pretty funny! But my issue with her is that she kinda stays on the same tone of voice, and in effect, it made them a little LESS funny...A good comedian commands your attention with all of their vocal progressions; That’s something I think Ryan Niemiller pulls off very well! My ADD kinda kept tuning out a bit from her, and that’s not the best sign...I see promise in her, but if only one comedian’s going to make the final round this year, I see Ryan as the more likely and deserving candidate...

5: Voices of Service. Not much to say; Still some solid harmonies, and we even got to hear more from the big guy! Nonetheless, the lady’s still the leader here...

4: Marina Mazepa. I will admit, I kinda forgot about her audition for the most part, and it took me until her appearance this time to remember that her gimmick is being weird and creepy...At the very least, this is a pretty effective way to make a contortion act interesting, and I shudder to think of what she’s gonna do in the next round...But in a good way!

3: Emanne Beasha. I guess I can appreciate this act a little more when the song choice is one that I’m NOT sick to death of...yet...So I’ll take a slightly more fair look at this girl, as she probably is the best of her kind since Jackie Evancho (and the cutest since Jackie as well). So...uhhh...she’s really good for her age, and...Well, to be honest, Simon kinda summed up my frustration with these kinds of kids when he talked about how she just had a natural gift...And yes, she does...ALL of these opera girls do! And because of that, they don’t really need to do much other than pick from a VERY narrow selection of arias and perform it, and the judges and audience will all love them for it! This is kinda why in the Final Four of Season 5, Jackie was actually my LEAST favorite to win, because she was surrounded by who appeared to be seasoned professionals, whereas all she needed to do was stand there and sing in her angelic voice, and she would be put on some kind of pedestal over these other acts who worked hard to get that far! (Keep in mind, Jackie wasn’t even a contestant until the notorious Youtube show!) But back to Emanne: She’s really good! I have no real arguments with her getting the Golden Buzzer! It just frustrates me that girls like her don’t really have to do much to be put on a pedestal and pushed all the way to the end of the game...That said, if she did all of her performances while holding her stuffed unicorn, and maybe an ice cream cone from her parents’ shop (though not lick it until the very end of the set as the dairy would mess with her voice), then sign me up!

2: Charlotte Summers. Comparing her and Emanne is like comparing apples and oranges; They’re both great singers in unique ways...But like I just said, Emanne makes it look effortless, whereas Charlotte clearly puts work into sounding and commanding the stage like she does! Also, Charlotte is her own thing, whereas Emanne is, like, the dozenth of her kind we’ve seen on this show...All I’m saying is, Charlotte TOTALLY should have gotten the GB!

1: Eric Chien. I guess it’s bias why I’m putting Eric at the top of this list, but in terms of who in this episode I would see in Vegas, he’s my pick! As Howie pointed out, Shin Lim set a VERY high bar over the last year, and this guy still hasn’t even APPROACHED the level he was at! Granted, Shin didn’t excite me at first either, but looking back, he did start at a higher level than this guy is at now...But enough about last year’s winner, as I don’t want Eric to go on as “the guy following Shin Lim’s footsteps”. This was still a pretty good trick, but there were no big surprises this time (perhaps aside from making an ink stain magically appear on Leno’s hand...and Leno not going Corleone in response!) I’d actually say his audition was better...But I guess he has several more rounds to prove himself...Some people have linked videos of other tricks he did and use them for arguments on why he’s even BETTER than Shin Lim, so I’m curious to see those tricks in later rounds...

Aaaannnnd, the Judge Cuts have ended with a whimper! Oh, wait, that’s Jay Leno trying to speak...

I’ll be back later to predict how next week’s show’s gonna go down, though we already know one act who’s DEFINITELY going to make it...Look at the line-up and you’ll know who I’m talking about...

For now, let’s predict who the Wildcards will be: At the top of my list is Matthew Richardson, who both the judges and audiences alike felt great sadness to see leave so soon...He didn’t impress me that much, but I still see some potential and wouldn’t mind him coming back...

Other candidates include (but I guess aren’t limited to) The Sentimentalists, Lamont Landers (please, no), Gingzilla, ADEM Show, Verba Shadow, Revolution, Ansley Burns (again, rather not), Edson & Leon, Melissa Arleth, Dominguez Poodles, Ben Trigger, and...Jordan Ravi? Nah, if he mattered that much, we would have seen him in the auditions...Right?

And then we have acts that were dropped somewhere between the judges saying yes in the audition, and the actual next round...IDEGO fits the mold after the other acts of this nature from the last two seasons involved advanced technology and special effects as well, but I don’t think they intended anything other than testing their technology on Howie Mandel, and the AGT auditions seemed about as good a place to get the opportunity as any...So I for one don’t think they should come back...Human Fuse on the other hand seems worth giving one more performance to, even though I know he’s not advancing any farther than that...

Those are my guesses...And now, I shall follow the tradition I set last year, and pick my own personal Golden Bu-It’s Marcin! Surprise, surprise!

However, there is one NEW tradition I would like to introduce this year, and that is giving my co-commentator, frankensteindr, the opportunity to select HIS own Golden Buzzer act! Just remember the rules: It has to be someone who has already advanced to the live shows by traditional means! It can’t be an act that was eliminated, it can’t be a wildcard, and it can’t be anyone who already HAS a Golden Buzzer (which includes Marcin since I got first dibs on him...because it’s my blog, nyah-nyah).

I guess you could say you’re getting the table scraps of MY table scraps, but let’s be real here, there are always a couple acts in the live shows that deserved a GB more than most of the ones that DID get it, so you still got some good choices (and I already have two or three guesses on who it could be). Choose well!

And with that, I’ll see you all (or one) later with my predictions for next week!

[humansunshineao3]

The City That Never Sleeps

Luke brings Maryse home for the first time

Read on AO3 here

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’m fine to drive you home, you don’t have to-”

“Lucian,” Maryse insisted, touching his arm. “I want to come upstairs with you.”

They were standing at Luke’s door after their fifth date, a round of drinks at a fancy wine bar across town. The butterflies in his stomach felt more like fruit bats at this point. Maryse looked a little nervous too, but there was determination in her eyes.

Maryse swallowed hard, eyes darting away. “That is, if you want me to, I can go if you-”

“No, I’d love it.” Luke answered hastily, clearing his throat. “I mean…”

Maryse was giggling a bit, and Luke laughed nervously, patting down his pockets.

“Imagine if I’d just lost my key,” Luke joked, digging it out of his jacket and slotting it in the keyhole.

As they climbed the stairs, Maryse’s hand slipped into Luke’s, her fingers cool against his warm palms. He gave her hand a little squeeze and led her up to his apartment, the butterflies in his stomach growing. Thank God he’d tidied the apartment before he left, he thought, sending a thanks to Simon for that particular suggestion. Even though Simon’s wiggling eyebrows had made Luke scoff at the time, he was thankful for his adoptive son’s devious little mind at times like these.

“How long has it been since you brought someone home?” Maryse asked tentatively as Luke unlocked the door to his apartment.

Luke shrugged, his face hot. “I mean Ollie’s been over to bounce ideas off each other…” He glanced at Maryse, and smiled wryly, “but that’s not what you meant.”

“Nope,” Maryse smiled, her hand sliding across the wall to find the light switch.

“I honestly can’t remember the last time I had a girlfriend here.” Luke admitted, his eyebrow arching at the look on Maryse’s face.

She was looking at his Clary Wall with an emotion somewhere between shock, wonder and concern. Luke realised, then, that normal thirty-something men didn’t have mindmaps detailing their daughter’s whereabouts, especially not after they’d been found safe and well. With Jonathan still on the loose, though, it just made sense to keep it all up.

“Now I see what you meant when you said you were married to your work,” Maryse teased, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Where’s the couch?”

“Oh, um, I have another chair…”

“You don’t have a couch?” Maryse asked, her eyebrow arching. “Next you’ll be telling me you don’t have a bedframe.”

Luke laughed nervously, scratching his forehead. “Well, funny story…”

“Lucian,” Maryse was using her Mom Voice with her sparkly mischievous eyes, and frankly, it was making Luke squirm. “Tell me you have an adult bed.”

“It’s technically more of a futon,” Luke explained, and Maryse laughed, taking his hand once more.

“Okay, we’re getting you a bedframe.”

“Now? It’s 11pm,” Luke pointed out, glancing up at the clock.

Maryse shrugged, tugging him towards the front door. “We’re in New York, aren’t we? The city that never sleeps?”

Luke smirked, letting her pull him back down the stairs once he’d locked up again. “Alright, if you can find a furniture store open at 11pm, I will buy whatever bed you want.”

“Don’t give me that kind of power, I could make you buy a bunk bed.” Maryse teased, her eyes on her phone. When they reached the sidewalk, she turned her phone to show him the website of a furniture store down near Magnus’ loft. Up at the top of the page, in big bold letters, were the words ‘open 24/7’, and Luke groaned.

“Please don’t make me buy a bunk bed,” he begged as he flagged down a cab.

Maryse grinned at him, her eyes crinkling. “I think it’s in my best interest to choose something nice.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“You sure have expensive taste, huh,” Luke chuckled, letting Maryse pull him over to the luxury section. There was absolutely no-one else in the shop except for the salesperson, who was wisely giving the couple space to browse.

“It’s a lifetime investment,” Maryse shrugged, “every grown-up needs a decent bed.”

“Says the one who slept on Institute beds until recently.”

“Oh, I insisted on having my own bed in New York, I paid Ragnor Fell to help me portal it to Alicante,” Maryse admitted, “I couldn’t deal with those lumpy mattresses any longer. Robert said…” Her face went a little sour, and she cut herself off. “Never mind.”

Luke squeezed her hand, bringing it up to his face to kiss her knuckles. “I have one question for you.”

“Hmm?” Maryse asked apprehensively.

“Do you think it’s acceptable for a grown man to have a bed with drawers underneath?”

Maryse bit her lip to hide a smile, flicking her hair over her shoulder. “Drawers are allowed, they’re a smart storage solution. A grown man loves smart storage solutions.”

“Remind me to keep you out of my kitchen for a couple of weeks,” Luke grimaced, which made Maryse laugh, pulling him along to look at the beds. “How about this one?” They stopped in front of a kingsize bed with a simple wooden slatted headboard.

“I have a feeling you’ll want a padded headboard,” Maryse shrugged, continuing down the aisle. “More comfortable to sit up and read in bed that way. And I figure you like to bring your work home with you.”

Luke nodded, impressed. “You really do think of everything, huh?”

“I recognise your work ethic,” Maryse replied, “it’s one of the things I like most about you.” It was out of her mouth before she could think twice about it, and she almost regretted it for a moment before she saw the way that it made Luke light up.

“How about this one?” Luke asked, too shy to respond to her compliment. He was an alpha and a detective, and he’d known Maryse for most of his life, and yes, he’d flirted first, but he’d never in a million years expected her to be interested. Honestly, he thought their first date was going to be awkward and stilted, but they’d ended up tipsy and giggling in a quiet corner of the Hunter’s Moon, both of them blushing with the weight of Alec and Magnus’ furtive glances from across the room. It was the most fun Luke had had in years, and then Maryse kissed him in the back of the cab on the way home and it had ignited these fluttering feelings deep in his gut that he hadn’t experienced in decades.

“Looks good,” Maryse agreed. She steeled herself for a moment, letting go of Luke’s hand to walk around the bed. “We should try it out.”

“Yeah, probably,” Luke said, sitting down on the edge of the bed and bouncing a little. “It feels good.

Maryse laughed, smoothing down her dress as she lay down on her back. “Anyone would think you were scared to touch me,” she accused playfully, patting the bed next to her.

“Not scared,” Luke grumbled, scratching the back of his neck as he moved to lie beside her. “Just… I don’t wanna be that guy who pushes you into uncomfortable situations.”

Maryse turned over onto her side, her hand under her face. She was still fully made up, in her fancy date dress, and she looked painfully gorgeous. Luke turned over to face her, too. “Are you uncomfortable?” She asked, her eyebrow arched.

“Well, this mattress is a little hard…” Luke smirked, glancing away and then back at her. “But no. Nervous, maybe…”

“I make you nervous?” Maryse looked all too pleased to hear that, and Luke huffed.

“You hadn’t noticed?”

“Well…” Maryse giggled, shifting a tiny bit closer. “Maybe a little.”

Luke groaned, covering his face. “It’s ridiculous, I feel like a teenager.”

“Me too,” Maryse confessed, biting her lip. “I didn’t think I’d ever feel so… Silly, irrational…”

“Giddy,” Luke added, and Maryse nodded.

“Exactly.”

Luke reached out to take her hand. “That’s what I like most about you. Of all the things I ever expected to learn about you, Maryse Lightwood, I never expected to find out that you’re secretly a lot of fun.”

“I’ve worked very hard to keep that secret,” Maryse tutted, her thumb smoothing over the back of his hand. “Don’t go telling anyone.”

“Cross my heart,” Luke smiled.

“Erm, sorry to interrupt…”

Maryse and Luke both sat up at the nasally sound of the salesperson’s voice.

“Are you planning to buy this bed?”

Luke looked at Maryse questioningly, and she shrugged and nodded. “Yeah, I think I am,” he answered, getting up to dig his wallet out of his back pocket. "It's a lifetime investment, so I thought I'd better be sure."

Maryse giggled, pressing her fingers to her mouth.

[ralfstrashcan]

3x13 Reaction / Commentary

Yeah I'm aware, stop judging X___X

I feel the need to point this out. Apparently it's common practice for the Praetor to just, kill off their more troublesome charges. Interesting. But Jordan has a different work ethic which is a) apparently not usual for praetors and b) something at least Nick attributes to his past and not, idk, common decency. Just how savage is the Praetor exactly?? (Also let me add this to the list of things why 3x15 makes no sense at all.)

Okay, so they found another mundane dead by Heidi's hand...... why exactly don't they call the Shadowhunters? Aren't they obliged to? I mean?

True, but it sure as hell is her responsibility how she handles them. But we established already that she has a serious perception problem and always sees herself as the victim.

I mean, prime example, if she could have made that smooth exit through the vent where the werewolves couldn't follow, why didn't she just do that from the start instead of attacking Nick? Because she wants to cause trouble and not just “live her life in peace” as she's pretending to.

More like, he didn't have the guts to face Alec like that. Also does that mean he draped Izzy on the couch like that in that cliché sleeping pose with one hand under the head? At least he took off her boots like a sane person.

“I'm just drained.”

Haha it seems Alec isn't the only Lightwood sibling with a shitty sense of humor.

“I don't have the same preexisting condition.” “You mean my addiction?”

No, Izzy, he obviously means your fashion sense, keep up. Seriously, who wrote that stupid ass line of dialogue.

I found it pretty hilarious that Simon, Clary's literally oldest and bestest friend since kindergarten, feels the need to apologize to Izzy for taking up so much time with his Clary-reunion and blocking the path for her. The Clizzy Energy is Strong.

“Hmmmm hot hot hot Clary, please show me more.”

MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY HAHAHAHA PERFECT

Also, Morningstar.... didn't Val name his dumbass tanker ship in S1/S2 Morningstar? Guy really has it with name repetitions, first Jonathan 1 and 2, now Morningstar Ship and Morningstar Sword... I bet he named all his stuffed teddys Mr Snuffels 1, Mr Snuffels 2, Mr Snuffels 3.....

The way he delivers this line me might've as well said “Please cut out the emotional disgusting bullshit my skin is crawling already from this I can't take any more mushiness PLEASE GO AWAY.” Gotta love Alec.

MAGNUS RAGE PUNCHING THE KEYBOARD IS THE MOST RELATABLE THING I HAVE EVER SEEN

Magnus opening up about missing his magic MY HEART OH MY GOD

(Sidenote though: No wonder he got frustrated with the pretentious Shadowhunter Technology, I mean, look at it. There are only runes. Runes may be called runes, but they don't actually make up an alphabet. Why the heck is there a flexibility rune on the screen? It makes no sense.)

This whole scene (and Izzy's lipstick lol) is absolutely perfect. I love everything about it, especially Magnus and especially Izzy. I'd be really surprised if Magnus didn't find a way to get her that weird root thingy anyway, because he surely doesn't buy the “feeling a lot better now” line.

(Edit: Now thinking about it I realized two things, a) she probably didn't take him up on his offer to go to another warlock because she felt like that was unnecessarily rubbing in that he can't do it himself anymore* and b) with that line she probably meant she feels lighter already for sharing what happened and just <3<3<3<3<3)

*The only think that would have made this scene more perfect is if Izzy hadn't skimmed over his magic comment without acknowledging it in any way. Though with this thought in mind, that she rejected his offer to spare his feelings, I find myself placated.

Also I love how Magnus pretends he's going to look for pen and paper when really he's running straight to Alec to tell him all about this (and to prevent a repetition of 2x09 form happening.... and now I made myself sad again).

#effortless (Also reminds me of that post about fire message mechanics that I still owe a certain someone. Where is the time.)

HAHAHAHA

???????????? How do they know that? More importantly, does Alec know? Will he hear through the Shadow World grapevine??? So many questions.

I mean, I have sympathy for her. But like, she's too smart for me to buy that she genuinely can't see any other course of action. She just does this because it's the least effort for her, not because she's truly clueless what alternatives are there for here (aka not running around, killing mundanes, starting a fight with everyone). She just thrives on chaos.

Also “Wolves don't just attack without cause. Not in New York” ? Seems like all Institute except the NY one do a shit job since supposedly keeping peace between the Downworld factions is part of their responsibility. Yes, I am still salty about 3x15. (Also, if anyone's confused by this weird foreshadowing, I wrote notes for this reaction post while watching 3x13 when it first aired, but only got to finish it now after 3x19 aired and I can't keep my chronology-screwing bitterness to myself while finishing up the post. But mostly these are my thoughts from then.)

Yeah something tells me she's not gonna be totally uninvolved in that.

This and the fact that Russel wants to stop Bat from even leaving the Jade Wolf are the final proofs that all the werewolves actually live at the Jade Wolf and pile up in a giant snuggle pile in the kitchen at night. This is further cemented by the fact that Luke and Maia claim to have flats of their own but we never actually see them. Clearly they're both dirty liars that just wanted to mislead.

*late Jocelyn's late friend Eliot #rude #whatever

.......why the hell would Elias code that shit in Circle short hand? So other Circle members, who Jocelyn was hiding from, could easily open that super important safe? So smart! Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't Luke in the Circle as well? Shouldn't he be able to read that, too?

1) Eliot is such a loser and a showoff for ostentatiously writing that J in Jocelyn 2) His hint is seriously “Don't open with brute force.” Wtf kind of hint is that man are you even real.

I'm sorry, okay, but everytime I see / hear Bellicosi I think Maxi-Cosi XD

*glares at 3x15* Will I ever tire of raging about that episode? Unlikely.

Why.....? Since he didn't have any problem 100% blaming Raphael for everything Heidi did (not unjustified, but I'm just saying he's suddenly changed his mind). I mean, if he'd said she's dangerous to him and his family that would've been another matter.

These are all runes that I don't remember seeing on the Shadowhunters' Wiki Rune Page. Please tell me more.

Jace: “Clary, you've been going nonstop since you came back. You need to take a minute.”

lol if only Jace would implement the same advice himself.

“Wow I suddeny remember I had a life before I was 10.”

German Dubbing: Yeah, the ones Consul Penhallow categorically ignored. Honestly. Who dubbs this shit. Wtf.

Listen I love everything about this scene. (Fun Fact: In the German Dubbing she says vampire addiction, not venom addiction lol as if she was addicted to vampires XD)

Alec Lightwood, best brother of the year. Btw he's been holding that title since birth. I also don't think Alec would ever judge Izzy for her addiction / look at her as if she's weak, so the fact that she thinks that says a lot about how the addiction affected her self-image.

Too bad Alec forgets this for the next few episodes and acts like a total tool in that Clave Investigation Thing, smh.

Good to know.

Haha that was witty.

Oooooh why don't they ask another warlock then? For example one who's actually always the smartest person in the room?? Who's also willing to work on this??? Just a thought tho, don't let me interrupt the Maruke Bonding. No, you know what? I hate the shipname Maruke, it's shit, so I'm calling it Luryse as it should have been called. Then again, when am I even gonna talk about that pairing? We shall see.

“Outrageous, just because people around me keep turning up dead! It's ridiculous, really, that they'd think I could have something to do with that. It's as if they're not aware this is a TV show and supporting characters die because *Moriarty Voice* THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE DO!”

“That what the kids call it these days when they get kicked out on their ass?” She literally says “From one exiled to another” so she clearly realized he's full of shit.

“And that's why in two episodes Imma get myself arrested by behaving like a dumbass and then chill in prison as if it's my greatest accomplishment.” Honestly Luke, so many No-s. I can't even.

“Wow I can't believe I have to see this Luryse bs up close.” Hah, now I used the right shipname and can move the f on from bashing that pairing. Sorry about that. I'm sleep deprived. That always makes me extra salty.

“When you're alpha you need to make the pack your first priority. Your personal life needs to take a back seat. And mine never did.” I applaud Luke for admitting he was a shit alpha because he didn't proritize the pack. Hindsight is 20/20.

Wow Luke so helpful <3<3<3 Just like I know and love you.

I also love how nobody questions that Heidi bit that mundane and then chilledly made a phone call at the scene of her Accords-violating crime. How frakking convenient.

But their runes aren't on the same side. Sloppy work. Also, if the illustrator obviouly takes artistic liberties, then the rune missing on the second pic doesn't have to mean anything. Maybe they just forgot to draw it. Then again this isn't even the most flimsy conclusion-making I've wittnessed on this show so I'll let it slide.

lol Jace and Jonathan are basically playing tug of war with Clary: Jonathan burning himself, Jace activating her healing rune XD

Ooooh brainless S1 Clary, how I have not missed you. Srsly now? Carve it out? That didn't work for Simon so why should it now? lol she should ask the seelie queen if she has some handy floor mosaic thingy in her courtyard to help with that.

In his defense, he moved.

It's not gonna work is what it is. Srsly how dumb are they? Why the hell does she think something so powerful can just be carved out?? Wtf.

Woooow they're using a rune removing device, color me impressed. I really thought they'd just put a scalpel to it. So, at least points for trying.

Uuuuh get some morphin, try again. I mean. But anyway.

*break up

......didn't she just break up with him because pack reasons? Where is that not a Shadow World Reason? Please explain. (Also choosing an unflattering screen cap of Simon because he annoys me? Absolutely. I am petty like that.) The easy way Simon accepts their break up really makes me wonder. If Maia hadn't said anything, would he have broken up with her? Since apparently things “changed” and they could “both” “feel” it. Honestly. He literally calls her his girlfriend at the start of the scene as if to draw attention to how ridiculous this is.

You know what, I don't even have the energy to rage about this. Their relationship was so great, they were so supportive of each other, they had great chemistry, great communication, they always stood by each other. And just because Sizzy has to be endgame there were suddenly weird-ass tension between them for no real reason – none that 3A Saia wouldn't have worked through like pros anyway – just so this break up wouldn't come out of absolutely nowhere. It's shit treatment of both their characters and their relationship and I'm just so exasperated with it all. (Also not the way to endear me to Sizzy. But at this point I feel like a broken record.)

Discount? It was free. Which I'm still finding super hard to believe by the way, that a werewolf establishment would just give out free food to vampires who don't even work there. But what do I know, right, I mean it's not like they just mentioned a few minutes ago how werewolves and vampires hate each other? Right?? Hahaha.

Wow. This actually takes the time to highlight that this break up wasn't as amicable as Simon thought. Maybe he thought that they were breaking up for human reasons, but Maia clearly feels she threw her relationship away for the pack and it's hard for her. And Simon's tirade wasn't really encouraging her to let him know that. I really appreciate that detail.

Other things I want to say: 1) I didn't like that Maia just flat out broke up with him. She should have informed him that she was going to step up for the pack and would have to prioritize that over their relationship and then leave it up to him if he wants to put up with that or not. By breaking up she made the choice for him. Her course of action is ic, I'm not critizising that, but from like, a personal stand point I don't like it. 2) Foreshadowing: Since her whole pack gets slaughtered, if that would have been the only reason to break up with Simon she coulda just gotten back together with him lol. Haha sorry I'm trash. I know.

Wow he's really dumb. He knows Heidi's brand of crazy and still he doesn't realize this was a trap. He said himself that Heidi must have done something for the Preator to be after her, and when the Praetor tells him she's been leaving copses left and right he...... takes this as his cue to ally himself with Heidi??? Wtf?????? Does he not believe what Jordan said? Again, he suspected something like that himself and since the Praetor are playing at being the Downworlder Police they wouldn't just make something like that up with no proof. The heck. I don't get you, Boss Vampire Guy.

Also, thumbs down for the Praetor, if they'd just told them their source was Heidi herself (on the phone) this could have been prevented. But, ugh. With how things are I can at least kinda buy that no working communication between vampire clan and Praetor exists.

Still, if the Praetor wants to be accepted as some kind of Shadow World Institution they should really work on their manners.

.................................................

I I don-- I can't. *sigh* I can't believe I just had to watch this with my own two eyes. Have they not been trained for a case like this? A fellow shadowhunter injured in the field? That activating the healing rune should be the first thing you do? Before lovingly prying information from the dying person?? I mean, if that's not Plot Convenience then I don't know what is. Sure, he needs to give them a snippet of info, but not too much. But please, please, couldn't writers have found a way for this that didn't make them look like the stupidest of idiots in the entire frikkin world?! Wtf. WTF. I can't believe it.

Uuuuuuh how did she know how to turn those things if all she had to work with was Don't use brute force?? Do I have to understand that?

“You brought coffee, after all.”

Look she's so ashamed she even turned away from the screen haha. Also it's so refreshing to see grown ass people approach a relationship like idiotic teens. (Yeah, that was sarcastic.)

“And right now I wanna do you.” Hahahaha sorry, too good to pass up, you can bet your ass imma turn this into a dumb comic XD

“I love you, Clary. And I'll love you until I die. And if there's a life after this I'll love you then, too.”

Okay, I wanted to roll my eyes at their love confession, but what Jace said was actually really sweet <3

Alec: All our people were accounted for at the time of the murder. Izzy: We think it was a Clave hit.

Oh couldn't have been one of the millions of Shadowhunters from another Institute? No, I'm sure Alec checked that on their neat little Shadowhunter Intranet, that all other Shadowhunters all over the workd were accounted for as well. Honestly.

Also, Maryse says “By the angel,” but in the German Dubbing she says “What the angel” which makes it seem as if Shadowhunters curse by replacing dirty words with “angel” and just... what the angel XD

Why the hell are they all so obsessed with Latin? Ugh. Exhausting hobby.

Btw lol, please rewatch that scene, the background music is weirdly reminiscent of the Stranger Things Theme hahahaha. (Also omg I'm peeking into the German dubbing and it doesn't even make SENSE hahaha what the shit.)

LOL that's like the soulmate trope but in painful XD basically the creepy incest edition XD But honestly can we appreciate what a nice hand Jonathan has with a knife and with his left hand?? Prodigy.

This is it, the final proof that they actually all live at the Jade Wolf hahahha.

...................................? Why the f is she happy to see Jordan? Last time they saw each other she clearly stated she hated him?? Do I need to understand?? Oh right. In the books Maia and Jordan get back together. Right. Stupid, why am I even surprised by this??

Wtf isn't he the clan leader? Why the hell is he acting so submissively to Heidi all of a sudden? Literally half a day ago he threw her out of his clan, knowing his place. And now he's like a puppet on her strings. Wtf. But I guess that happens when you treat characters as plot devices. They get inconsistent even if they only have two scenes. *sigh*

Awwww would you look at that, werewolves and vampires fighting with fists like mundanes. (Okay some of them had like, daggers, but where are the fangs and the claws? Honestly.)

Okay I did her injustice in my trailer reaction since this is a vamp and a legitimate fight situation.

Wow that actually surprised me. But Jordan also dies in the books so, oops. Just didn't think they'd skip the getting together.

WOW that really surprised me. I thought Maia would challenge him and they'd have an epic fight to the death or something. (Also wtf Griffin guy, what's with that creeper face.)

To be honest I find it hard to believe that Maia acts like this. Scared out of her mind, yeah sure. But she acts helpless, and she's never been that. When she got that pipe thing I thought she'd use it as a stake. Using it to block the door is smart, too, but why didn't she get another to have a stake? Her whole posture, uselessly hangig over Jordan screams damsel in distress and I don't like it at all.

Edit: I had certain fears how this plotline would be developed in 3x14 which thankfully didn't come true, but my conflicted opinion on this ending scene remains.

Anyway let’s take a moment and appreciate Maia’s Killer Boots.

BTW watched the 3x14 trailer and just.... what. Why the f would Magnus ask Lorenzo of all people for help? He can't be trusted. As if he wouldn't use that opportunity to break Magnus even further! WTF! Where's Catarina? Oh, let me guess, another Drunk Doctor Conference *epic eyeroll*

[takaraphoenix]

Phoe’s Advent Calendar: Day 4

A happy December 4th to @comet13 and everyone else enjoying this story ;)

Title: Advent Calendar Project – Movie Marathon Mayhem

Fandom: Shadowhunters: The Mortal Instruments

Disclaimer: All rights to the Shadowhunters show reserved to Ed Decter, the books the show is based off and its characters belong to Cassandra Clare. This fanfiction on the other hand is entirely mine. No money is made with this, though reviews are more than welcomed.

Warnings: shounen-ai, polyamory (threesome), fluff, Christmas fluff, cuddles

Main Pairing: Magnus/Alec/Jace

Shadowhunters Characters: Jonathan Christopher 'Jace' Wayland, Magnus Bane, Alexander Gideon 'Alec' Lightwood

Summary: Magnus wants to watch Christmas movies with his boys. Only that his boys disappoint him very hard with their choices...

Links: FFNet | AO3

Movie Marathon Mayhem

"...I said Christmas movies. I specifically requested that the three of us would, tonight as we finally get to be together and rest... And I was even willing to let you choose."

Jace leaned in to nudge Alec, a frown on his face. Alec shrugged, a helpless look on his face. Neither of them knew why exactly they were being scolded, but their warlock was pacing in front of them with one of his disapproving glares. Both of them had seen that expression repeatedly, inside and outside of their relationship. Magnus had perfected the resting bitch-face when it came to Alec and Jace and the things they could pull. Like agreeing to Clary's silly plans of listening to Valentine about summoning a demon. Or getting themselves killed. Or getting themselves kidnapped by Valentine. Or keeping the Soul Sword from Magnus and others. Or nearly getting married to the female envoy of the Clave. Things like those.

Jace hadn't recently been kidnapped or killed and Alec hadn't lied or gotten married recently.

So neither of them knew what was going on exactly, but Magnus looked disappointed in them and that was something that needed fixing. Jace knew exactly how to fix Magnus being disappointed in them. The blonde got up and pushed Magnus up against a wall, crowding in on him and kissing him deeply. Alec caught on and pressed up behind Jace, reaching his hands out to touch Magnus.

"...Sex really is your solution for everything. And you're not even trying to be subtle anymore."

Magnus looked not impressed as he used his magic to push both of them off him. The warlock couldn't bring himself to be annoyed by the action though. Jace was still struggling with their relationship, he was still struggling with emotions. So if Alec or Magnus were angry or upset with him, Jace would get nervous that they'd break it off and he'd try to do his best to please them and appease them. Mainly with sex, because sex was what he understood, while he still struggled with expressing his emotions. Magnus knew that rooted from Valentine's upbringing. When someone was angry or upset with Jace, there would be hell to pay in his experience – not just Valentine, the Clave and Aldertree had done a pretty good job at driving that point home too in the past.

So Magnus decided to skip out on the dramatic scolding he had planned, if he was already making his blonde nervous enough to resort to making-out. Reaching a gentle hand out, he cupped Jace's face and brought the blonde in for a brief, soft kiss, managing to relax Jace some.

"Care to tell us why we managed to exhaust you so much?", inquired Alec.

Jace hummed in agreement and Magnus sighed. "I wanted to do this... cheesy, romantic evening of watching fluffy, romantic Christmas movies with the two of you, because Isabelle has been gushing about doing this with Lydia last weekend. And you boys... you... picked Die Hard. All five."

"...Is that bad?", asked Jace, looking honestly confused as he turned toward Alec.

Alec shrugged confused and turned toward Magnus. "I mean, you do realize we've never seen a Christmas movie before, right? So Jace went to ask Maia and Simon what kind of Christmas movies would be something that we'd enjoy too."

"And Simon swore those were Christmas movies. And he told me that me and Alec were totally going to love them. And you said we could pick", took Jace over, nodding wildly.

"I think I might just turn him into a frog", drawled Magnus unimpressed.

Heaving a sigh and shaking his head, Magnus walked over to the couch and let himself collapse sprawled out over it. He raised one eyebrow at his Shadowhunters still standing around like lost puppies. Alec turned toward Jace, one eyebrow raised, still trying to figure their warlock out.

"Go and get the eggnog and the cookies", ordered Magnus after a moment. "If you two are going to make me watch mindless action-movies, I need our angel's baked goods."

Jace grinned broadly as he headed to the kitchen. He had spent all of last weekend baking with Madzie. And the blonde always seemed to glow when Magnus praised his baking. Not literally glowing; he reserved that to the bedroom. Magnus' grin took a wicked turn.

"Eggnog?", grunted Alec judgmentally as he handed said alcohol over.

"Your sister makes amazing eggnog. Didn't expect that considering the meals I had where she tried poisoning me, but this? This is gold", hummed Magnus and pulled Alec down with him.

Alec grunted at the impact as he found himself stuck between the couch's backrest and Magnus. He comfortably snuggled up to the warlock, resting his head on Magnus' chest. His eyes closed in bliss as Magnus started playing with his hair in a soothing, nice way.

"I couldn't help but check in on Madzie before we got home", admitted Alec softly. "She's fine."

Magnus chuckled fondly and placed a gentle kiss on top of Alec's head. Madzie was spending the weekend with Lydia and Isabelle, but since she had only recently moved in with Magnus, Alec and Jace and the ink on the adoption papers was still wet, all three of them were still very possessive of their daughter. They fussed a lot – which was why Lydia had declared that auntie Izzy needed some bonding-time with her niece and that Lydia would make sure they'd be fine, so Magnus, Alec and Jace could have a weekend all to themselves again.

"You guys could at least make a little room for me, you know?", huffed Jace.

The blonde put the plate of cookies down on the table and looked at his two boyfriends all sprawled out on the couch so comfortably. Magnus offered one of his broad, mischievous smiles and used his magic to bring Jace closer. The blonde yelped as he basically stumbled into Magnus' lap. Alec made a pleased little sound as he pulled Jace down to properly lay on to of Magnus in a way that allowed the archer to wrap his arms around the blonde's waist and snuggle up against his back.

"You two owe me for putting me through those movies though", sighed Magnus dramatically.

"Alec can tie a nice bow on me and we'll make it up to you", suggested Jace with a leer.

Alec next to him perked up a little, eyes darkening in a very pleasant way, making Magnus chuckle amused. Alec did thoroughly enjoy tying his parabatai up – or down, depending on the situation.

"I second that motion", whispered Alec with a slight growl to his voice.

It was highly amusing to Magnus, considering this was supposed to be for him. But then again, Magnus' favorite thing was to see Alec take apart his parabatai before they would share their blonde. Jace had a knowing grin on his face as he snuggled even closer to Magnus.

"But first the movies. Mag wanted Christmas movies. Simon promised those are Christmas movies. And good ones at that", countered Jace with a broad grin.

Magnus huffed half-offended, though as he had both his Shadowhunters snuggled up to him like that, he could very easily endure all five Die Hard movies on the weekend before Christmas.

~*~ The End ~*~

[asflowersfade]

Scribble-Doodle: Six Months of Death

A mashup of TV and book spoilers. Jace gets dead. Clary asks Raziel to bring him back - too bad she doesn’t specify when exactly should this miracle take place. Or, Raziel is a petty bastard. A parabatai fic with hints of Malec/Clace

Jace doesn’t know what he expected when he knocked on the door of the Herondale mansion, but this definitely wasn’t it.

When Raziel finally fulfills his promise and brings him back, Jace snaps back into existence in the middle of Central Park. Not the most holy of places, certainly, but considering that just moments ago, he was dead, he’s not about to complain about where his resurrection took place. The timing, though, that could’ve been better.

Six months. That’s how long it took Raziel to move his angelic ass and fulfill Clary’s wish. To say that Raziel was not happy about being disturbed by mere mortals would be putting it mildly, and since Clary didn’t actually specify when she wanted Jace to be brought back, Raziel took his celestial time in a petty revenge. Angels and Seelies, not much difference between them, as Jace’s learned.

The first place he goes to is the New York Institute, of course, his home. And if he’s ever had doubts about people loving and missing him there? Not anymore. Their welcome’s almost overwhelming in its warmth and relief. Clary did tell them about Raziel and her wish and the angel’s promise but with each passing day and week and month the chances of Jace actually coming back became slimmer and slimmer, so his resurrection… yeah, a real miracle for his family and friends.

But it soon becomes apparent to Jace that he’s returned to a world much changed, to a world that has moved on without him while still waiting for him to come back. And he understands it, he really does, his loved ones couldn’t have just frozen their lives in place like flies trapped in amber. It still feels… odd, uncomfortable, that there are so many things now that he doesn’t know about.

Like the fact that Maryse got her position as the Head of the Insitute back. And that she divorced Robert. And that she’s now dating - do people of her age still date? - well, seeing Luke Garroway . Luke. Garroway. Not that they aren’t a good fit, mind you… it’s just, well, weird.

And Robert’s now the Inquisitor! The news of Imogen’s passing hit Jace really hard - she was his only living relative left, but it’s true that he didn’t know her all that well, though he hoped to change that - but he’s glad that it was Robert who was named in her place. His cheating aside, Robert’s a good man. And he’s living with his lover now, David Whatshisface. A guy! The Inquisitor’s bedding a man. Huh, the times really a-changing. And Jace was only gone for six months!

Izzy and Simon are now an item, too. And they’re just the oddest couple that Jace could imagine. But what the heck does he know, right? And because Simon’s apparently become the new leader of the New York vampire clan, everyone’s suddenly seeing Izzy’s dating a Downworlder as a “wise political choice.” Right. Angel’s foot!

Clary… Seeing Clary again is a like a punch in the gut. Still the prettiest girl he’s ever seen, her smile sets his heart all aflutter. She’s waited for him. And she tells him she would’ve waited for his return till her dying breath. He might’ve cried a little, not that he would ever admit that to anyone. But yeah, he did. Not even six months of death could make him stop loving her. He’s glad she feels the same.

She returned back to school, studying art. She apparently convinced the Clave it would help her with her rune making. Bull, really, but it got the Clave to back off and let her do her thing. She’s become entirely too proud of her ability to lie with a straight face to get what she wants. That’s his Clary!

And then there’s Alec… who’s not where he should be: not with Magnus, not at the Institute… not in Jace’s soul. Their bond’s gone, broken, torn. But Jace’ll get it back, if he has to pluck Raziel’s feathery appendages bald to force the bastard to make them whole again!

Jace knocks on the door of the Herondale mansion and waits, shifting from foot to foot impatiently. It takes almost a full minute for the door to open, and when it does, Jace’s breath catches in his throat. Alec…

Yes, Alec. After Imogen’s death, there were no more Herondales - Jace’s waiting-to-be-resurrected status didn’t count - so it was Alec who inherited the Herondale estate as Jace’s parabatai. And that’s where he retreated to when everything went to hell.

“Alec…” Jace whispers, seeing his parabatai for the first time in six months.

Alec stands there and just stares at Jace in utter incomprehension. And Jace’s heart aches for him. Six months has passed but Alec looks haggard, drained… damaged. He’s pale and unshaven - there’s silver in his hair; Angel, he’s twenty-three! - his shoulders are stooped and he’s dressed in sensible shoes and pants and a worn sweater that’s seen better days; no more combat boots and gear for him. He looks, well, nothing like Jace’s Alec. And yet, it’s him.

Blinking dazedly, Alec licks his lips several times before finally finding his voice. “Jace?” he croaks out with disbelief and despair and hope.

And Jace hugs him. He pulls Alec into his arms and he hangs onto him and he rocks him gently from side to side, till Alec’s frozen stance relaxes and his tense body becomes pliant and he melts into Jace’s embrace, gripping the back of his leather jacket tight in his fists. Yes, yes, Jace’s here, he’s truly here and they’re back together again.

But their bond’s still dead, the connection’s gone. And Jace wants to rage because he thought… he hoped that… he put everything on this one card, that once they get back together, once they touch… but no. There’s still only silence.

Jace wants to rage and scream - instead, he lets Alec make him coffee.

“So, what went wrong?” Jace asks quietly, stirring his coffee, entirely too black and too strong for anyone’s liking but his. Alec remembered.

Alec looks up from his own cup, cradled in his hands. They’re sitting in the kitchen of the Herondale mansion, a rustic affair. There’s no one but them in the house. Apparently, there hasn’t been anyone but Alec residing here ever since he moved in. Jace’s liking the state of things less and less by the minute.

“Is that a trick question?” Alec asks with narrowed eyes. “You died, Jace.”

Waving a hand, Jace responds. “Well, apart from that. You were the Head of the Institute, it was your dream. And you and Magnus were on your way to become the stuff of romantic legends. Now I find you here, hermitting away like a monk in the Middle Ages.” Jace rests his elbows on the table and leans closer. “Come on, Alec. Talk to me.”

Alec, who’s sitting on the other side of the table, turns his head to look out of the window; the sun’s setting outside. “Even before you... died, everything wasn’t perfect. Not remotely so and you know it.” He turns back. “Everything I’ve done since I became the Head of the Institute went wrong. Jonathan, Valentine, the Cabinet…” He shakes his head and smiles ruefully. “By the Angel, I had so many plans. It just shows how naive I was.”

Jace frowns. “Alec--”

But Alec interrupts him. “And then Max died. And the war began in earnest. And then y-you died. You were just gone, Jace,” he says, his face is full of desolation. “I’ve never known such a pain. And it went on and on and on. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t think. Magnus tried, Raziel knows he did. But it wasn’t just that - he’s the leader of his people, just like I was of mine, and that was putting even more stress on our relationship…”

He sighs and turns the cup in his hands. And then again. And again. “It became too much. I wasn’t handling your death - and Max’s death and all my failures - well and everyone was suffering because of it: Magnus, our family, our people. So I just” --he shrugs-- “left.”

“You gave up,” Jace points out and he doesn’t like it, he doesn’t like it at all. Impossible just means try again, that’s been always Alec’s motto.

Alec shrugs again. “Call it as you like. I was of no use to anyone in that state. I was making your death - and the fact that Raziel seemingly broke his word to bring you back - harder on everyone. I needed to put myself back together first, before I could even begin to be there for others. And since someone had to take care of Imogen’s estate” --he waves a hand around-- “I thought it was as good a reason as any to take a break.”

Jace lifts his eyebrows. “Take a break? So, this,” --now it’s his turn to wave a hand around-- “is not a permanent thing?”

Alec lifts one corner of his mouth. “Well, luckily, the new Head of the New York Institute is our mother, so I have a standing invitation to come back - even the Clave couldn’t say a thing against someone mourning the loss of his parabatai, especially since that person, that means me, inherited the Herondale estate!

“And Magnus…” This time, his smile’s more genuine but also much sadder. “He agreed that a break might do us some good. He’d seen in the past, what the loss of a parabatai could do to a Shadowhunter. He was very… understanding. Probably much more than I deserved.”

“Nonsense,”Jace dismisses his words. “You deserve the world.”

Alec’s smile widens and a little color returns to his pale face. He clears his throat. “And what about you?” he changes the subject. “We keep talking about me, but you were the one who died! Raziel. You were dead, Jace!”

Jace grimaces. “Tell me about it.” He blows out a breath and stares deeply into his cup for a while; the coffee’s gone cold. “I don’t remember much. I remember being stabbed and then waking up - in Central Park, of all places, would you believe that? Those are the two things I remember clearly. But the time in-between…”

“Yeah?” Alec prompts Jace when he falls silent again.

Thinking it over, Jace tries to explain, “I remember impressions. Warmth, love, safety… I think-I think I was with my mom and dad, Alec,” he says in a hushed tone, looking up at his parabatai. “My real mom and dad. And I was happy. I think... I wanted to stay. Over there. With them,” he admits reluctantly.

“Oh,” Alec whispers, dropping his eyes. His shoulders slump again.

“No!” Jace rushes to say and reaches out across the table to grip Alec’s wrist. “It’s not like that, Alec. I would never leave you, you’re my parabatai, I would never - you have to believe me!” he implores.

Alec warily looks up. His eyes are hooded. “Then why? Why wouldn’t you want to come back to us? To me?”

“Because I couldn’t - no. I didn’t think I could,” Jace corrects himself. “I thought that was it. I was dead. All there was left for me, was what comes after. Where I would wait for you. Where I met them. I was as happy as I could be - while you and Clary and all the others were over here and I was over there. Do you get that?”

Please, tell me you do, he thinks.

Grudgingly, Alec nods. “I guess. Besides... we aren’t parabatai anymore,” he reminds Jace quietly. “Our bond broke when you died.”

Jace grips Alec’s wrist even tighter. “Bull! You are my parabatai, bond or not! And I will figure out what went wrong. Raziel healed me, he healed everything, he brought me back as good as new. I will find out what went wrong with our bond and I will fix it, I swear, Alec!” He shakes Alec’s wrists to emphasize his words.

Alec stares at him searchingly for a long time, then he lets go of his cup with the hand that Jace’s gripping, and turns it palm up. They clasp hands and hold on tight.

“Alright,” Alec says softly. “Alright. I’m just glad you’re back. Even if we never get our bond back, I’m happy you’re here, with me. I just hope that--” He falls silent, then he swallows painfully. “I just hope you don’t regret coming back.”

Jace thinks about it, really thinks about it, hard. He wants to be perfectly sure of his answer, he doesn’t want his words to sound like empty platitudes. Does he regret coming back? Well, he misses his parents, true, the feeling of safety they gave him, but… No, he doesn’t regret coming back, returning to life, to Clary and his family - and his parabatai. Without Alec, he would forever be incomplete.

He smiles. “No, I don’t regret it. I’m exactly where I should be.”

And in that moment, just like that, their bond snaps back in place, flooding them both with the other’s emotions. The sensation’s so overwhelming that they gasp out loud, their eyes flying wide open, and they cling to each other so tightly their knuckles turn white.

Oh, Jace thinks in wonder, feeling the familiar throbbing in his chest, the most beautiful sensation in the world. So that’s all it took? This realization?

“Jace,” Alec whispers, amazed.

Jace grins wide. “Yeah,” he breathes out, lacing their fingers together. “Yeah…”

Now, now everything’s perfect, Jace thinks, before getting up to walk around the table and hug his parabatai, not letting go of him even for a second.

Thank you, Raziel. 

You’re still a petty bastard, though!

[miraculouspaon]

What You Have Tamed

Chapter Two: Beginning

AO3

Ferd arrived at the restaurant a good fifteen minutes early, so he was surprised to see his date waiting there already, leaning against the wall a few feet down from the door and looking around nervously. He waved, and a second later Jonathan noticed and straightened hurriedly.

“Ferd! You look good-I mean, it’s good to see you,” Jonathan said, tripping slightly over his words.

“You, too,” Ferd said. “You look less, uh, roughed-up than the last time I saw you.”

Jonathan grinned. “Thanks. Should we go in?”

Soon they were seated at a small table inside, looking over menus. Ferd glanced over the top of his. “We didn’t actually catch up the last time we saw each other, did we?” he asked. “How’s your sister been?”

“Adele? Great,” Jonathan said. “She’s… actually, she’s doing much better than she was when you met her,” he continued. “She was-hitting you was kind of a wake-up call, I think. She started seeing somebody. It helped a lot.”

“I’m really glad to hear it,” Ferd said sincerely.

“And your family?” Jonathan asked. “I know two months ago everything was kind of awful, with your dad passing, but-”

“Things are good,” Ferd said. “Mom’s mostly retired now, Isabella and her husband are basically running the B&B full-time.” Ferd paused. “What have you been up to?”

“Well,” Jonathan said, “after the geis, I realized having projects like that was something I needed. So I started looking into more freelance stuff. Not casting anything myself, obviously, but problem-solving, that kind of thing. It’s been interesting. How’s academia been treating you?”

“Great,” Ferd said. “I’m a first-class full professor now. And I’ve written two books.”

“That’s fantastic. What about?”

“The first one was an annotated collection of Occitan literature,” Ferd told him, “and the second one, which just came out last year, was a biography of Simone Weil.”

“Weil? Really?”

“Yep. Twentieth century philosophy is considerably more modern than my interests usually run, but she’s fascinating.”

“I’ll say,” Jonathan said, somewhat eagerly. “Did you know she dabbled in spellcraft near the end of her life? She pioneered some really interesting fusions of western and eastern structures. Most of her work’s still in use.”

“I did know that,” Ferd replied lightly, “on account of I wrote that biography about her.”

Jonathan's eyes widened. “Right,” he said, his face flushing slightly. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to…” Jonathan realized that Ferd was amused, not offended, and he trailed off mid apology. “Tell me more?” he asked. Ferd smiled and started talking.

~~~

“Do you want to walk around a bit?” Ferd asked after dinner, the second they were outside.

“I’d like that,” Jonathan said immediately. “Got somewhere specific in mind?”

“Oh, anywhere,” Ferd said. “I just love walking around this city.” They began to walk towards the Seine. “I love everything about this city, actually. I was… seven, I think? When I first visited. Family trip, during the off-season.” He grinned at the memory. “In retrospect I’m not sure how my parents managed to wrangle five kids in a foreign city and make it look as effortless as they did. But, yeah, ever since then I’ve been obsessed. You’d think after living here for over thirty years the magic would have worn off eventually, but it never quite did.”

Ferd continued to describe the trip as they walked, as well as return trips he'd taken as a teen, his decision to focus his academic career on the country’s history as much as possible, and his ultimate decision to move to Paris and pursue an advanced degree.

“... and it's not like I needed any encouragement at that point,” Ferd said, “but if I hadn't already thought moving here was a dream come true, a few weeks after I finished unpacking who should come onto the scene but Paris’ first superhero in… what was it, twenty years?”

Jonathan blinked. “Adele? Um… it was almost thirty, I think. You really started grad school the same time she went active?”

“Yep. I never, like, got saved by her or anything… in fact, I don't think I ever even saw her in person, but I was still psyched.”

Jonathan grinned. “Big superhero nerd as a kid?”

“Weren't we all? And La Mancha didn't exactly see a lot of supernatural action when I was growing up.”

The path along the river curved a bit, and as they followed it the Eiffel Tower suddenly came into view. Ferd stopped in his tracks and stared up at it. “Isn’t it something at night?” he asked, and Jonathan stopped as well and looked up at the landmark. “I could look at it for hours.” They stood there for a few minutes, and then Ferd glanced over casually at Jonathan, who hadn’t taken his eyes off the Tower since they’d stopped. “How many times did you destroy it, again?” he asked, his tone purely conversational.

“Um.” Jonathan’s face went slightly red. “Uh.”

“Sorry, was that too flip for the first date?” Ferd asked. “Or are you always going to get this flustered when I bring it up? Because I gotta warn you, I do not see that getting old.”

“No, it’s… I just wasn’t expecting… I didn’t think you’d be so comfortable talking about it, that’s all. It’s good, I want us to be able to talk about it. Um,” Jonathan glanced at Ferd. “Do you actually want to know the answer to that question, or were you just trying to bring the subject up?”

Ferd shrugged. “Mostly I’m curious to see if you’re the kind of guy who knows the number off the top of his head or not,” he said, and there was a kind of mischievous glint in his eyes that was not doing Jonathan’s attempts to de-fluster any favors.

“Um.” Jonathan cleared his throat. “Seventeen,” he finally mumbled.

“Seventeen? Really? Is that it?”

“Is that it?” Jonathan asked indignantly.

“Sorry,” Ferd said quickly, “it’s just, it felt like a lot more at the time.”

“That’s more than once a month!”

“True.”

~~~

Ferd sighed as they neared an intersection. “I have an early class tomorrow,” he said. “I should probably head back to my place. You’re in the other direction, right?”

“I am,” Jonathan admitted. “I could walk you back, though.”

“Nah,” Ferd said. “If you do that I might invite you in, and that would completely defeat the purpose of going home.” While Jonathan was trying to formulate a response to this, Ferd leaned over and kissed his cheek. “I had a really good time tonight,” Ferd murmured before pulling away, and then he was walking off, grinning and waving as he went.

~~~

“Aren’t you supposed to wait forty-eight hours before calling?” Ferd asked as he answered his phone the next day, and Jonathan could practically hear the grin in his voice.

“Oh, I’m too old for games,” Jonathan said cheerfully. “When can I see you again?”

“Well, I've got an exam to finish writing tonight. What about tomorrow? You can come over to my place, I'll make something. You got any allergies?”

“Really?” Jonathan asked, surprised.

Ferd laughed. “I know what you're thinking, ‘He cooks, too? Is there anything he can't do?’ Well, I don’t want to oversell my abilities here, but my parents did a lot of cooking when I was growing up, for B&B guests, and they were not shy about making their kids help. It rubbed off.”

“No, I… I was just surprised you don't want me taking you out to another nice restaurant is all,” Jonathan said. “You did say… and I really don't mind, actually. I mean, I more than don't mind, I-”

“Ah,” Ferd said. “Well, I figure there's plenty of time for pushing my luck on that front, but… look, don't get me wrong, last night was great, but we couldn't exactly have an open conversation in public, you know?”

There was a pause. “Oh,” Jonathan said, subdued. “Right.”

“And you did offer to tell me the long version of your story,” Ferd continued, “and… well, I've been thinking, and it's probably better if I get that sooner rather than later, you know?”

“Of course,” Jonathan replied, although he didn't sound at all like he agreed.

“If you're that disappointed about not getting to waste money on me, bring an expensive bottle of wine over,” Ferd said. “Does seven work for you?”

~~~

“Door’s open!” Ferd shouted upon hearing the knock. “Sorry,” he said, as he heard Jonathan enter the kitchen, “I was running late, I'm almost done here. Just gotta finish chopping these-”

“And here I thought you couldn't get more attractive,” Jonathan said, grinning and leaning against the door frame.

Ferd laughed and glanced over his shoulder. “Oh, yeah?” he asked. “Aprons do it for you, huh?”

“Mmm. Out of curiosity, is it for protecting your sweater vest from the tomatoes, or for protecting the tomatoes from all the chalk dust on your sweater vest?”

“Jonathan, nothing in my life is safe from chalk dust. The sooner you accept that, the better.”

Their easy banter continued as Ferd directed Jonathan to the kitchen cabinet containing his wine glasses, and as they finished off a few glasses between them while Ferd finished preparing dinner. But in what felt like no time at all, they were sitting down across from each other and the conversation came to a sudden halt. Ferd and Jonathan stared at one another for a few awkward seconds before Jonathan finally spoke.

“So…” Jonathan took a breath. “So what’s the best way to do this? I just start talking, or… or you could ask me questions, I guess? Do you have any?”

“Uh… yeah, one or two,” Ferd said. “I looked up some stuff, after you told me. I know it’s tacky to look a guy up on the internet before asking him out, but under the circumstances-”

“I figured you would,” Jonathan said.

“Right. Well…” Ferd paused, trying to figure out exactly how to phrase his question without sounding accusatory. He finally gave up. “Okay, you said everything was to save Adele, but I looked up the dates and your last attack was about two weeks after she’d been rescued,” Ferd said in a rush.

Jonathan nodded slowly. “Yeah,” he said, “yeah, it was.”

“It was really public, too,” Ferd added. “I remember watching the whole story on the news. So there’s no way you missed it.”

“You’re right,” Jonathan agreed. “I didn’t.”

“So?”

“So… okay, I know this isn’t an excuse or anything but just to be clear, I wasn’t thinking very rationally at that point in my life. I was very, very fixated on the major Miraculouses being the answer to everything. But I did consider just surrendering, after Adele returned. I thought about giving her back her Miraculous, throwing myself at her feet, begging for forgiveness. But then I got close enough to feel her emotions, and I couldn’t do it.”

“You couldn't,” Ferd repeated, deadpan.

“She was such a mess, Ferd, there was so much pain twisted inside of her after everything she’d been through, I just, I couldn’t accept it.” Jonathan paused. “And if I’m being completely honest, I probably also couldn’t accept how much of that pain was my fault. So I told myself her return didn’t really change anything, that she still needed to be saved from everything that had happened to her. I told myself I’d get ahold of the major Miraculouses and use them to undo everything, go back in time and do whatever was necessary to make sure she didn’t get captured the second time around. So none of it ever would have happened.”

Ferd’s eyes widened, but he didn’t say anything for a while. “Would that have worked?” he finally asked.

“No,” Jonathan sighed. “Like I said, I wasn’t exactly thinking rationally back then. If I’d gotten ahold of the major Miraculouses, wielded both of them at the same time, it… I don’t know exactly how it would have gone, but it would have been bad. I might have technically succeeded in undoing all the akumas and Adele’s four years of captivity, but whatever took their place would have been worse. Much worse.”

Ferd considered this for a moment, and then his eyebrows shot up. “Wait,” he said. “Like a… are you saying that of all the fictional models of time travel, the one that's correct is… the butterfly effect?”

“Yeah, trust me, that particular irony was not lost on me,” Jonathan muttered, and Ferd grinned. “Next question?”

“Um… oh, this one’s maybe kind of random and none of my business, but what happened to Paon?”

Jonathan tensed. “What?”

“Well, you said that your sister got caught after her five minute timer popped. But I remember her partner from the nineties, and he wouldn't have needed five minutes to get her to safety. He wouldn't have needed five seconds. So I figured something happened to him. That maybe he died or something, after they retired.”

“No,” Jonathan said, his voice now incredibly tight and controlled, “Paon is still very much alive.”

“But he didn't go with her?”

“You'd really think he would have, wouldn't you?” Jonathan asked, and the bitterness in his tone was impossible to miss.

Ferd hesitated. “I've hit a nerve,” he finally said.

Jonathan let out a frustrated sigh. “Paon’s her husband.”

Ferd blinked. “The fashion designer?” he asked skeptically. “Really? I can't in a million years picture-wait. Never mind. The glamor broke. Now I can picture it perfectly.” Ferd shook his head. “That doesn't get less weird, does it?”

“No,” Jonathan said. “And trust me, it can get weirder.”

Ferd nodded. “So he just didn't go with her?”

“It was complicated. They didn't see eye to eye on their retirement after a while. So when the Tibet crisis came up, and Gabriel refused to even entertain the idea of going to take care of it, Adele went off on her own without telling him. To prove it was safe for them to get back in the game.”

“Oh.” Ferd hesitated again. “That doesn't sound like it's entirely Paon’s fault.”

“I don't blame him for that,” Jonathan said defensively. “It's what he did after she disappeared.”

“Which was?”

“Not a fucking thing, that's what. He flew to Tibet, and he was back a week later declaring her a completely lost cause. He just gave up on her!” Jonathan seemed to suddenly realize he was shouting now, and he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “And…” he was suddenly subdued, deflated, “and that's what I should have done, apparently. Everyone would have been so much better off if I'd just given up on her like Gabriel did.”

“Well… sorry, I don't think I can bring myself to disagree with you on that point,” Ferd said wryly, and Jonathan snorted, “but if one of my sisters disappeared, doing nothing probably wouldn't be on the table for me, either. I wouldn’t go full supervillain,” Ferd added quickly, “but I doubt I'd be able to do nothing.”

Jonathan nodded. “I can't picture you as a supervillain, anyway.”

“Yeah, well, I'm still having trouble picturing you as one, honestly,” Ferd said quietly. “But this is helping.”

“Oh,” Jonathan said flatly. “Great.”

“No, I mean it, Jonathan. I… if we’re going to work, I'm going to have to wrap my head around it first, don't you think?”

“Yeah.” Jonathan nodded. “Yeah, you're right. Any other questions?”

“Not really. Why don't you just start telling the story,” Ferd suggested, “and I'll just interrupt if I think of any?”

“Okay.” Jonathan took a deep breath. “Well… you know Adele got her Miraculous back in ‘95. She told me about it a few weeks in, and I wanted to be helpful, so I immediately started reading every book I could get my hands on…”

~~~

“... so I showed up at our parents’ place in the country and waited for her. Which wasn't… I shouldn't have ambushed her like that. But she didn't tell me to get lost like I expected, at least.”

“That was the first time she'd seen you in four years?” Ferd asked. Jonathan nodded. “Wow. She must have felt conflicted.”

“No,” Jonathan said numbly, “she was pretty straightforwardly furious.” He sighed. “Anyway, I found out about the geis, because she kept trying to say things like she wished I’d died only to choke halfway through the sentence. Anyway, I offered to break it. And, uh, and I didn't see her again until the day you met her, actually.”

Ferd nodded. “How are you two now?” he asked.

Jonathan shrugged. “Better than I ever imagined we’d be, back then. But not…well, things are still different.” Jonathan looked across the table at Ferd. They'd been sitting there for hours now, dinner long since finished, but Jonathan hadn’t noticed the passage of time until that moment, or given much thought to what would come now that he’d finished. “Did that… was that a long enough version for you?”

Ferd let out a chuckle. “Yeah, that was very long, thanks.”

“Any more questions? Things I should clear up?”

Ferd shook his head. “No, that’s more than enough for now. I, um, might need a little time to absorb it all, though. So I’ll call you this time around? If that’s okay.”

Jonathan nodded slowly. “Yeah, of course. I'll go.” He stood and grabbed his coat. “I can show myself out,” he added, as Ferd got up and began following.

Ferd rolled his eyes. “You really are dramatic, you know that?” he asked as he followed Jonathan to the door. “This was… okay, it was awkward at first,” Ferd admitted, opening his apartment door and stepping aside, “but it was really interesting, too. I’m glad you came over.”

“Me, too,” Jonathan said as he exited. “You're the first person I've ever… I mean, I never told anyone any of that, and-” Jonathan turned back around suddenly and hugged Ferd. “Thanks,” he said softly, before lightly kissing Ferd’s cheek. “You're a really good listener.”

~~~

Ferd called three days later, in the early afternoon.

“Are you free now?” he asked Jonathan. “Sorry, I know that’s short notice, but I’ve got a few hours to kill. I know that’s not really enough time to do anything substantial, but there’s a park near campus I like to go to. We could meet up.”

There was a pause. “Sure,” Jonathan finally said. “That sounds nice.”

Ferd arrived at the park first. Jonathan found him sitting on a bench overlooking a small pond, and he sat down next to Ferd quickly, startling the man.

“Oh, you made it-”

“Look, Ferd, before you say anything,” Jonathan interrupted, staring straight ahead, his voice dead serious, “I just want to say that… that I never in a million years expected you to call me. You'll never know how much it means to me that you did. That you were even willing to give this a shot. And no matter how this goes I will always, for the rest of my life, remember this as you giving me far more than I deserve.”

“Oh,” Ferd said, puzzled. “Um. Yeah, sure. Glad to hear it? Sorry, I don’t actually know how to respond to that.”

“You don't have to respond,” Jonathan said quietly, still not meeting Ferd’s eyes. “You can just say what you asked me here to say.”

“Well, I didn't have a speech prepared like you apparently did,” Ferd said casually, leaning back. “I just thought we could hang out until my next class. Oh, and I don't know how interested you are in the Crusades but there's a guest lecturer visiting the university tomorrow afternoon and I thought we could-” Ferd noticed the look of confusion that flashed across Jonathan’s face and he stopped talking abruptly. “Oh my God,” he said, comprehension dawning, “you thought I was breaking up with you.”

“Well… yeah,” Jonathan said. “You're not? You… I mean, you said you needed time to think, and then three days later you suddenly need to see me right away, in the middle of a weekday, in a very public, neutral location where we can both easily go our separate ways-”

“Is that how you're supposed to break up with someone? Wow, I have been doing that all wrong,” Ferd interrupted, grinning. Jonathan didn't smile back. “No, I just wanted to see you, that's all.”

“Even after hearing everything? Knowing for certain now that I didn't have any kind of excuse after all?”

“No offense, Jonathan,” Ferd said lightly, “but it never occurred to me for a second that you might. That's not what getting the full story was ever about. I just needed to make sure it was something I could live with, that's all.”

“And it is?”

“Yeah. I think so, anyway.” Ferd glanced at Jonathan. “You know, we’ve been pretty focused on answering my questions so far, but now that I think about it you seem a hell of a lot more confused than I am.”

Jonathan sighed. “I just don't understand why you don't hate me.”

“Oh, I don't really hate anybody, Jonathan.”

Jonathan snorted. “That is not something we have in common.”

“I didn't really think it would be,” Ferd replied.

“Okay, fine,” Jonathan said, “you don't hate me because you don't hate anybody. I don't know why you want to have anything to do with me ever again, then.”

Ferd shrugged. “Honestly, Jonathan, I've been over being akumatized for a very long time now. Finding out it was you, that was hard at first, sure. But it's not like I expect everyone I date to have a spotless history.”

“It's a pretty big fucking spot, Ferd.”

“Yeah, but it's still just one year out of your entire life. A life that, from the sound of it, had a lot of good, too. Including, I'll remind you, saving my life, which-maybe I'm biased here-I'm somewhat fond of. I’m not going to judge you without taking all of that into account, too. I know what it's like, you know, to be judged only by the lowest point in your life and nothing else, and it sucks. I try not to do that to others.”

Jonathan was silent for a moment, but then he groaned softly. “Because of me,” he said. “You know what that's like because of me. Because people judged you for being akumatized.”

“Yeah,” Ferd agreed. “Because of you. But the principle stands.”

“Jesus,” Jonathan muttered, “you're just perfect, aren't you?”

Ferd raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“You're this perfect, forgiving-”

“Jonathan-”

“-well-adjusted guy-”

“Jonathan-”

“-that I am never going to deserve to be with-”

“Jonathan.”

“-and you-”

Rolling his eyes, Ferd leaned over and kissed Jonathan before he could finish the sentence. It was their first real kiss in eight years, and Ferd was pleasantly surprised at how the real thing held up to the vintage memory.

“Is that the only way to get you to shut up?” Ferd asked, after pulling away a minute later.

“... Yeah, pretty much,” Jonathan whispered back, breathless.

“Noted. Jonathan, listen.” Ferd fixed Jonathan with a stare. “I didn't call you last week to prove to myself how over being akumatized I am, I didn't do it to be forgiving, or to be the bigger man, or whatever else you think is going on here. I asked you out for purely selfish reasons. I like you, and I thought being with you might make me happy. Which, so far, it does. So you can stop worrying about which of us is the better person, or who deserves who, because honestly? I could not care less. Got it?”

Dazed, Jonathan nodded. “Yeah,” he whispered, “got it.”

Ferd grinned, relieved. “Good,” he said, before leaning in again for another kiss.

[angelavengedinspo-blog]

“Okay,” said Isabelle, putting away the first aid kit with a brisk gesture. They were in one of the Institute’s many spare rooms, meant to house visiting Clave members. Each was plainly furnished with a bed, a dresser and a wardrobe, and a small bathroom. And, of course, each one had a first aid kit, with bandages, poultices, and even spare steles included. “You’re pretty well iratze’d up, but it’s going to take a little while for some of those bruises to fade. And these”—she ran her hand over the burn marks on Clary’s forearm where the demon blood had splashed her—“probably won’t go away totally till tomorrow. If you rest, they’ll heal faster, though.” “That’s fine. Thanks, Isabelle.” Clary looked down at her hands; there were bandages around the right one, and her shirt was still torn and bloodstained, though Izzy’s runes had healed the cuts beneath. She supposed she could have done the iratzes herself, but it was nice to have someone take care of her, and Izzy, while not the warmest person Clary knew, could be capable and kind when she felt like it. “And thanks for showing up and, you know, saving my life from whatever that was—” “A Hydra demon. I told you. They have a lot of heads, but they’re pretty dumb. And you weren’t doing such a bad job with it before I showed up. I like what you did with the athame. Good thinking under pressure. That’s as much a part of being a Shadowhunter as learning how to punch holes in things.” Isabelle flopped down onto the bed next to Clary and sighed. “I should probably go look up what I can find out about the Church of Talto before the Conclave gets back. Maybe it’ll help us figure out what’s going on. The hospital stuff, the babies—” She shuddered. “I don’t like it.” Clary had told Isabelle as much as she could about why she’d been at the church, even about the demon baby at the hospital, though she’d pretended she was the one who’d been suspicious, and had kept her mother out of the story. Isabelle had looked sick when Clary had described the way the baby had looked exactly like a normal baby except for its open black eyes and the little claws it had instead of hands. “I think they were trying to make another baby like—like my brother. I think they experimented on some poor mundane woman,” Clary said. “But she couldn’t take it when the baby was born, and she lost her mind. It’s just—who would do something like that? One of Valentine’s followers? The ones who never got caught, maybe trying to carry on what he was doing?” “Maybe. Or just some demon-worshipping cult. There are plenty of them. Although I can’t imagine why anyone would want to make more creatures like Sebastian.” Her voice gave a little jump of hatred when she said his name. “His name’s really Jonathan—” “Jonathan is Jace’s name,” said Isabelle tightly. “I won’t call that monster by the same name my brother has. He’s always going to be Sebastian to me.” Clary had to admit Isabelle had a point. She had a hard time thinking of him as Jonathan too. She supposed it wasn’t fair to the true Sebastian, but none of them had really known him. It was easier to slap a stranger’s name onto Valentine’s vicious son than call him something that made him feel closer to her family, closer to her life. Isabelle spoke lightly, but Clary could tell that her mind was working, ticking over various possibilities: “Anyway, I’m glad you texted me when you did. I could tell from your message that something weird was going on, and frankly I was bored. Everyone’s off doing some secret thing with the Conclave, and I didn’t want to go, because Simon was going to be there, and I hate him now.” “Simon is with the Conclave?” Clary was astonished. She had noticed that the Institute had seemed even more empty than usual when they’d arrived. Jace, of course, wasn’t there, but she hadn’t expected him to be—though she hadn’t known why. “I talked to him this morning and he didn’t say anything about doing something for them,” Clary added. Isabelle shrugged. “It has something to do with vampire politics. That’s all I know.” “Do you think he’s all right?” Isabelle sounded exasperated. “He doesn’t need you to protect him anymore, Clary. He has the Mark of Cain. He could get blown up, shot at, drowned, and stabbed and he’d be just fine.” She looked at Clary hard. “I notice you didn’t ask me why I hate Simon,” she said. “I assume you knew about the two-timing thing?” “I knew,” Clary admitted. “I’m sorry.” Isabelle waved her confession away. “You’re his best friend. It would have been weird if you didn’t know.” “I should have told you,” Clary said. “It’s just—I never got the sense you were that serious about Simon, you know?” Isabelle scowled. “I wasn’t. It’s just—I thought he would take it seriously, at least. Since I was so out of his league and everything. I guess I expected better from him than I do from other guys.” “Maybe,” Clary said quietly, “Simon shouldn’t be dating someone who thinks they’re out of his league.” Isabelle looked at her, and Clary felt herself flush. “Sorry. Your relationship is really none of my business.” Isabelle was twisting her dark hair up into a knot, something she did when she felt tense. “No, it isn’t. I mean, I could ask you why you texted me to come to the church and meet you, and not Jace, but I haven’t. I’m not stupid. I know something’s wrong between you two, passionate alley make-out sessions notwithstanding.” She looked keenly at Clary. “Have the two of you slept together yet?” Clary felt the blood rush into her face. “What—I mean, no, we haven’t, but I don’t see what that has to do with anything.” “It doesn’t,” said Isabelle, patting her knotted hair into place. “That was just prurient curiosity. What’s holding you back?” “Isabelle—” Clary pulled up her legs, wrapped her arms around her knees, and sighed. “Nothing. We were just taking our time. I’ve never—you know.” “Jace has,” said Isabelle. “I mean, I assume he has. I don’t know for sure. But if you ever need anything . . .” She let the sentence hang in the air. “Need anything?” “Protection. You know. So you can be careful,” Isabelle said. She sounded as practical as if she were talking about extra buttons. “You’d think the Angel would have been foresighted enough to give us a birth-control rune, but no dice.” “Of course I’d be careful,” Clary spluttered, feeling her cheeks turn red. “Enough. This is awkward.” “This is girl talk,” said Isabelle. “You just think it’s awkward because you’ve spent your whole life with Simon as your only friend. And you can’t talk to him about Jace. That would be awkward.” “And Jace really hasn’t said anything to you? About what’s bothering him?” Clary said, in a small voice. “You promise?” “He didn’t have to,” Isabelle said. “The way you’ve been acting, and with Jace going around looking like someone just died, it’s not like I wouldn’t notice something was wrong. You should have come to talk to me sooner.” “Is he at least all right?” Clary asked very quietly. Isabelle stood up from the bed and looked down at her. “No,” she said. “He is very much not all right. Are you?” Clary shook her head. “I didn’t think so,” Isabelle said.

[flauntpage]

First Line Domination! Seven Takeaways from Flyers 3, Blackhawks 1

Please support the exclusive sponsor of our Flyers posts, COZZI JEWELERS, located in the Edgemont Shopping Center in Newtown Square. 20% DISCOUNT OFF ALL JEWELERY by mentioning CROSSING BROAD now through BLACK FRIDAY! Before shopping for your girlfriend or wife, shop CozziJewelers.com! $500 off CUSTOM MADE ENGAGEMENT RINGS TOO.

  Four days off between games is like an extended vacation in the NHL these days.

With the schedule compacted even further as teams are granted “bye weeks” throughout the year where they are given between five and seven consecutive days without a game (the Flyers’ official bye is Jan. 8-12, but they, and the rest of the league, get another five-day break over All-Star weekend Jan. 26-30), there are longer stretches of games where teams are playing basically every other day.

So, after a particularly grueling start to their season, the Flyers got that needed break and it showed early last night in their 3-1 win over the Chicago Blackhawks.

It was easily the Flyers’ best first period of the season. They led 2-0, had a season-high in first period shots with 16, and pretty much looked twice as fast as the Blackhawks for 20 minutes.

Things slowly changed from there, and Chicago was dominant over the last 30 minutes of the game, but Brian Elliott gave his best performance in his short Flyers career, finishing with 38 saves and giving the Flyers their eighth win in their first 16 games.

There was a lot to like as the Flyers continue this strange start to a season schedule-wise, having played 12 of their first 16 games against Western Conference opponents – and their next five will also be against the West (considering they only play 32 games total against the west, knocking out 17 of them in the first 21 games is crazy).

So, let’s look at the good – and maybe a dash of the not-so-good in the takeaways:

1) Top Line Cruising

The Flyers’ top line of Claude Giroux, Sean Couturier and Jake Voracek has been nothing short of special this year on the offensive end of the ice.

There are a lot of times when Flyers fans question the decisions of Dave Hakstol as it pertains to lineups, line combinations and defensive pairs. And, as someone who always tries to give decision-makers in hockey the benefit of the doubt in such instances (because we don’t know the real reasons behind the thinking), I admit that I too have questioned some of these coaching decisions.

I was one of the people who didn’t think the experiment with Giroux on the wing and Couturier at center was sustainable long-term because it created a lack of scoring depth with the other lines (more on that in No. 5 below), but the fact is, this trio – the Ginger Beard Men (kudos to the folks over at Broad Street Hockey for that clever moniker) – is the Flyers’ most productive line through 16 games in more than a decade.

They compiled another seven points in the win over Chicago, scoring each of the three goals. You have to go back to the start of the 2005-06 season to find this kind of offense from one Flyers line.

That season, through 16 games, Peter Forsberg had a ridiculous 31 points (six goals, 25 assists) and Simon Gagne was on a better than a goal-per-game pace (17-9-26), while Mike Knuble was also pretty productive (10-7-17).

This season’s three amigos aren’t on that torrid a start, but it’s still pretty hot.

All three rank in the top 10 in the NHL in scoring. No other trio in the league can say the same. Voracek, who had a goal and two assists last night, now has 21 points, tied for fourth-most in the league. His 17 assists is second-best to only Steven Stamkos in the NHL.

Meanwhile, Giroux is tied for seventh in goals (nine) and points (20) while Couturier is tied for 10th in points (19) and fifth in goals (10). As a matter of fact, he didn’t score his 10th goal last season until March 4.

You couldn’t find three players with more unique styles to their game.

“There’s three good players on that line they’re all different, they play the game differently, they have different elements, different strengths, but the three of them together – big credit to them – has worked well for our hockey team to this point,” Hakstol said.

Voracek is the catalyst, having set up 12 of the 19 goals scored by either Giroux or Couturier.

Giroux is the playmaker, who can beat you with a cannon:

G wide open and gives the #Flyers an early 1-0 lead on a rocket. http://pic.twitter.com/okHP2l9bE6

— Chris Jastrzembski (@CFJastrzembski) November 10, 2017

Or can make that no look pass and put the puck right on your stick for a goal:

Coots makes it 3-0. http://pic.twitter.com/pgunZnmlpP

— Chris Jastrzembski (@CFJastrzembski) November 10, 2017

No wonder the captain was given the Wooo robe to wear for post game interviews:

The Captain gets to wear Wooo tonight: http://pic.twitter.com/AwuWuuPtRR

— AntSanPhilly (@AntSanPhilly) November 10, 2017

And Couturier is coming into his own – finally – as the two-way dynamo the Flyers always thought he would be.

I wonder where all the Flyers Twitter hate for Couturier has gone? Where all the fans are who wanted to run him out of town? Who never really saw the value in his game?

The fact is, he’s blossoming into an excellent offensive player after spending his formative years perfecting the defensive side of his game.

He’s always said he wanted to be the next Patrice Bergeron or the next Anze Kopitar. He’s starting to prove he can be now.

And to think he’s under contract for four more years with a cap-friendly hit of $4.3 million. Love him, Flyers fans. Love him.

  2) Ells Bells

The late great Flyers broadcaster Gene Hart used to call great saves by a Flyers goalie a 10-bell save. Brian Elliot didn’t need many of the 10-bell variety last night, but you can grade his overall performance as a 10-bell performance.

His 38 saves were the difference as he was excellent over the final two periods when the Blackhawks were pouring it on.

“I felt good out there,” Elliot said. “I thought we did a good job defensively. That allowed me to lock in on the puck. We took away lanes. Took away passes. That’s what you have to do with a team like that… move it around.”

And the Blackhawks did move it around. They out-attempted the Flyers 69-52 in the shots department, with many of them coming over the final 30 minutes, but Elliot was up for the task:

"That's a no for me dawg." – Brian Elliott http://pic.twitter.com/YQbrFkA3tC

— Chris Jastrzembski (@CFJastrzembski) November 10, 2017

"Nah." – Brian Elliott http://pic.twitter.com/0nyzOgFSCk

— Chris Jastrzembski (@CFJastrzembski) November 10, 2017

Elliott with two big stops on the Blackhawks and Patrick Sharp. http://pic.twitter.com/fr8ojxJaXH

— Chris Jastrzembski (@CFJastrzembski) November 10, 2017

After that, he stops Brandon Saad to keep the lead at 3-1 entering the third. http://pic.twitter.com/Iz5pbTsxt9

— Chris Jastrzembski (@CFJastrzembski) November 10, 2017

A key moment was when the Flyers killed off a 5-on-3 power play for Chicago for 1:44 late in the second period.

“It was huge,” Elliot said. “They could have tied it up there or at the end of the period and we would have been tied going in. Killing that off was big for our guys. We did a really great job, they didn’t do too much on it. You keep things to the outside on that and they didn’t cross box us so that is good.”

We’ll dive into the notion of keeping things to the outside in a minute, but that was the turning point in the hockey game. If the Flyers would have given up a goal there, with the way the Blackhawks were playing, it would have been a different outcome in the end.

Elliot has faced some criticism so far this season, some of it deserved, but there’s no denying the fact he was a difference-maker in this one.

  3) Defensive posture

.embed-hm { position: relative; padding-bottom: 66%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 815px; } .embed-hm iframe, .embed-hm object, .embed-hm embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; }

Heatmap courtesy of NaturalStatTrick.com

That’s what the shot attempts looked like last night. You can see the Blackhawks were trying to take advantage of shots from the left side of the net (Elliot’s glove side). However, in the first period, that blue circle wasn’t there. Nor was any of the green in front of the net.

That’s because, in the first period, the Flyers did a pretty good job of denying chances anywhere near Elliot.

Especially Ivan Provorov and Robert Hagg, who frustrated the Blackhawks top line so much that coach Joel Quenneville changed up the top unit, replacing former Flyer Patrick Sharp with Brandon Saad.

Saad made a difference, and he was a dominant in the second half of the game. He had eight shots on goal and 13 shots attempted. No one else on either team was even close. However, the job Provorov and Hagg did frustrating the Blackhawks – specifically captain Jonathan Toews, who didn’t like the way Hagg was playing against him physically – was a subtle difference-maker in the contest.

“The forwards getting back helps our D be able to step up and make their reads sooner and take things away,” Elliot told me after the game. “That’s when we’re at our best. Provy can skate with the best of them. He uses his feet to do a lot of the work and then Hagger comes in and cleans up the dust. It’s a good combination right now.”

It didn’t last the entire game, but the defense was good enough for long enough to give the Flyers the lead they needed, and then Elliott shut the door from there.

  4) Laughton Line

The Scott Laughton line, which is still ridiculously considered the fourth line despite taking many more meaningful shifts than Jori Lehtera’s line, continues to impress with their possession numbers, their ability to skate til sunrise and their sound defensive game.

A quick glance at their analytics from this game will show they weren’t as great at possessing the puck as I would suggest they were.

Corsi For %:

Scott Laughton 42.11

Michael Raffl 53.33

Taylor Leier 44.44

But, they do get a lot of defensive zone starts, which automatically puts them at a disadvantage. And this Blackhawks team, while its deficiency is, surprisingly enough, the same transition game that made them so dominant winning three Stanley Cups this decade, is excellent when they have possession in the offensive end.

So, let’s look at the line’s Corsi For % relative to their time on ice versus their time off of it.

Just a quick tutorial – Corsi For Relative (or CF% REL) shows a player’s value to his own team by sowing the difference in shot attempts when a player is on the ice compared to off it. In other words, this is a better measure of actual puck possession and defensive play than just the difference in shots.

A positive CF% REL means the team is better with that player on the ice than off it.

Let’s look at these guys again taking that statistical view:

CF% REL

Laughton 0.33

Raffl 13.57

Leier 3.19

Conversely, here is the Lehtera line in the same statistic:

Jori Lehtera (-10.82)

Jordan Weal (-8.59)

Dale Weise (-0.80)

Big difference, eh?

Now who is the Flyers checking line again?

  5) Not the greatest performance

A win is a win. Especially against a team like Chicago. You take it. You’re happy about it. And you move on.

But Hakstol said it best:

“There’s some learning processes there as well because after [the score] went [to] 3-0 we got a little too fancy,” he said. “We gave the puck away a little too easily, and they got going on the other side.

“So, there’s always areas that you want to take the positives, make sure we build on those and be real positive, it was a great win for our team, but also address the things we have to do a little bit better, that starts with our veterans and that follows through with everybody on the bench.”

And why was Hakstol pointing this out? Let’s go back to NaturalStatTrick.com:

.embed-container { position: relative; padding-bottom: 60%; height: 0; overflow: hidden; max-width: 751px; } .embed-container iframe, .embed-container object, .embed-container embed { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; width: 100%; height: 100%; }

You can see how quickly things went south in the second half of the game. This is the Corsi chart, measuring shot attempts as the game goes along.

This is indicative of who was dictating and driving the play. It was all Chicago in the second half, which makes Elliot’s performance all the better.

But there were turnovers galore – the Flyers had nine giveaways – four by Valtteri Filppula alone, who I was thinking about writing a positive story about before the game and then he went and did that and made me put that idea in my back pocket for a little while longer.

And since we’re going all analytics in this game, you know who was abused the most by the Blackhawks?

CF% REL

Brandon Manning (-32.48)

Shayne Gostisbehere (-17.83)

Yeah, Ghost got his 100th point with a nice assist, but defensively, this paring was a train wreck in this game.

You know what pairing wasn’t?

CF% REL

Travis Sanheim 21.51 (led the team)

Radko Gudas 11.43

Maybe they should have played a little more.

But Hakstol said it starts with the veterans and works its way down the bench. Why would he point out the veterans?

CF% REL

Giroux 3.60

Voracek (-4.57)

Couturier 4.25

Wayne Simmonds 0.14

Filppula (-1.01)

Considering the top line scored seven points, you’d think they had a dominant game. Ehhh… they were OK. They really weren’t great down the stretch and it befuddled me that they were getting so much ice time against Toews-Saad and Patrick Kane when they were being abused.

That’s an instance where you gotta see if your checking line has any mettle. Put them out there against the big boys and see if they hold their own. Couldn’t be much worse.

And the second line (Konecny was -2.86, but he isn’t a veteran) had a rough night. Been a rough run for Simmonds since all his injuries (I’m told he’s still dealing with a groin issue, but playing through it).

Elliot talks about a five-man defensive game. It was there for 20 minutes. It was not there for the other 40. That needs to improve.

  6) Who are these Blackhawks?

This will be a quick assessment, but they aren’t the same team they used to be.

Frankly, their defense can’t skate.

With apologies to Duncan Keith, who is still their top blueliner, the rest of the group is average at best in the speed department – and I’m being polite.

Brent Seabrook is a shell of himself in that department. It’s sad to see. He was such a force as a powerful skating defenseman for so long, and now, he’s a step behind.

The rest of the defense is scary slow. They used to be a transition team. Now they’re a chip and chase team. No wonder they are so frustratingly mediocre.

  Loose pucks

Gostisbehere registered his 100th point in his 155th game, the fastest for any defenseman who started his career with the Flyers. The Flyers are promoting it as the fastest ever for any defenseman, but that’s not true:

Simmonds has now gone nine games without a goal. It’s the third-longest streak of his Flyers career. If he doesn’t score Saturday, it’ll tie for the second-longest and trail only a 16-game drought in his first season with the team.

The Flyers top line has 60 points this season. Every other forward on the team combined has 46. The Flyers need to improve their scoring depth. They can’t be a one line team.

Connor Murphy scored Chicago’s lone goal. He is the son (and spitting image) of Flyers assistant coach Gord Murphy. The two had a nice moment together in the hallway after the game.

The Flyers are 7-1 in the last eight games where they’ve allowed 39 or more shots dating back to the start of last season, including a 5-1 win over Florida on Oct. 17 where they allowed 41. That’s an odd stat.

  First Line Domination! Seven Takeaways from Flyers 3, Blackhawks 1 published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv