#like best case scenario i dont mind it and worst case scenario just thinking about touching another human makes me wanna throw up lol

[cherry-shipping]

oh and btw during my nap i had a dream i was with dave and he was super cuddly and silly 👍 so that was cool

[hyperfixatedoncrimminalminds]

can you do an Aaron hotchner x teen!daughter reader where the reader is about 16 or so and she gets her period at school and has nothing and she’s anxious to call Aaron (this is a few years after Hayley’s death so reader has no mom) but being the great dad he is he helps her out and pampers her for the rest of the day.

Aaron Hotchner x Teen Daughter Reader

Request:

can you do an Aaron hotchner x teen!daughter reader where the reader is about 14 or so and she gets her period at school and has nothing and she’s anxious to call Aaron (this is a few years after Hayley’s death so reader has no mom) but being the great dad he is he helps her out and pampers her for the rest of the day.

Third person pov...

It was just like any other day at school for 14-year-old Y/N Hotchner. She sat in her math class, trying her best to pay attention to the lesson, but her mind kept wandering off.

She couldn't shake off the sudden discomfort she was feeling in her lower abdomen. It was a new feeling for her and she was starting to feel anxious.

Then she rememberd this morning, Y/N Hotchner woke up feeling shitty, the 14 year old jsut wanted to lay in bed all day and not move, but eventually her Dad forced her to go to school.

The teenager knew exactly what was going on - she was getting her period. She had been dreading this day for a while now, knowing that she would have to face it alone without her mother.

It had been a few years since her mother, Hayley, had passed away, and Y/N still missed her terribly. She wished her mother was here to guide her through this new experience.

As the class finally ended, Y/N made a quick escape to the bathroom, hoping to find some relief. She rummaged through her backpack, hoping to find a pad or tampon.

But to her horror, she realized she had nothing. No pads, no tampons, not even a spare piece of paper.

Panic set in as Y/N mind raced with thoughts of how she was going to make it through the rest of the day.

She couldn't focus on her classes, and she was afraid to ask a teacher or a friend for help. She felt completely alone and helpless.

She couldn't believe she had forgotten to pack them in her bag. She didn't know who to turn to. She couldn't call her father, Aaron, at work and she didn't have any close friends at school.

Feeling embarrassed and alone, Y/N decided to call her father anyway. She took a deep breath and dialed his number. As the phone rang, her heart raced, and she prayed that he would answer.

"Hey, N/N" Aaron's voice came through, the young girl forced herself not to cry as she spoke, she knew he could sense the concern in his tone.

"Dad, it's me" the H/C teen said, trying to keep her voice steady.

"Is everything okay?" Aaron asked, sensing the worry in his daughter's voice.

It was just a normal morning once his children left home he was at work, The team was busy working on their latest case and wrting uo whay happend

Aaron was absorbed in reviewing the evidence, when his phone suddenly rang. He glanced at the caller ID and saw that it was his daughter.

Who he had complete custody of after his wife her mother, Haley, had passed away a few years ago.

Aaron's heart skipped a beat, as he immediately answered the call, worried that something had happened to his daughter.

'Hey, sweetheart, is everything alright?' he asked, his voice filled with concern.

'Dad, I- I have a problem,' his daughter, who was now 14, said nervously.

Aaron's mind immediately went into overdrive, thinking of the worst possible scenarios. 'What is it? Are you hurt? Do I need to come pick you up?'

'I got my period at school, and I don't have anything with me. Can you please pick me up" his daughter explained, her voice shaking with embarrassment.

Aaron was momentarily taken aback by his daughter's confession. He had never expected to be having this conversation with her at such a young age, but he knew he had to be there for her.

"Okay swetie, dont worry im on my way, see you soon" He quickly reassured her and told her that he would be there to pick her up from school.

Aaron let out a sigh of relief, knowing that it was just a natural and normal part of growing up.

'Thank you, Dad,' his daughter said, the relief evident in her voice.

Aaron quickly wrapped things up at work and rushed to his daughter's school.

When he arrived at the school, his daughter was waiting for him at the entrance. She was relieved to see her father's familiar face, and she could feel the tension dissipating.

As soon as she saw him walking into the school, Y/N couldn't hold back her tears. She ran into his arms, feeling safe and loved. Aaron held her close, soothing her with his familiar embrace.

"Dad, I'm so sorry. I didn't know who else to turn to" Y/N apologized as they walked to the car.

"Don't apologize, sweetheart. I am always here for you, no matter what" Aaron said, placing a comforting arm around his daughter.

As they drove back home, Aaron could sense how uncomfortable Y/N was feeling.

He tried to lighten the mood by joking about awkward first period stories from his own teenage years, thought Y/N still felt awkward.

Once they got home Aaron handed his daughter a plastic bag filled with products for her, Thanking him she ran upstairs to change and finally be comfortable.

When she came back down she found her dad sitting in the sofa. "Thanks dad" she tells the man crawling into the sofa next to him.

Aaron smiles at his daughter and hugs her tightly. "It was no problem Sweetie ill always be there if you need me" he tells the teen making her smile.

The awkwardness of the situation finally over. Aaron made his daughter a cup of hot chocolate and let her relax in the living room. He could see how tired and drained she was from the day's events, and he wanted to make sure she felt pampered and taken care of.

He brought her a warm blanket and put on her favorite movie, letting her lay on the couch and rest. Throughout the day, he made sure to check on her and bring her anything she needed. He even surprised her with her favorite takeout for dinner, knowing that she probably didn't feel like cooking.

Despite the embarrassment and discomfort, Aaron's daughter felt grateful for her dad's presence and care. She knew that she could count on him no matter what, and that made all the difference in the world.

As she lay in bed that night, she smiled to herself, feeling lucky to have a dad who not only supported her but also knew exactly how to take care of her. From that day on, she knew that she could always count on him, no matter what life threw her way.

The end!

Hope you liked this oneshot! 4th one today wow I'm on a roll, sorry for any grammar and Spelling mistakes.

Request are open!

Word count: 1200

[kumezyzo]

sap finding out you’re pregnant (angst ver.)

omg omg omg.... someone asked for it... im- im- thank you 🥲 afab!reader

anyway, enjoy! or dont... :) m.list

when you first have a suspision of being pregnant, you tell bf!sapnap immediately.

"wait, you think youre pregnant?" he asks with a concerned look. you bit your lip and nodded, fidgeting with your hands.

"i know we're really young and if you think we're not ready, im okay with not keeping it. i completely get whatever you feel like doing, i just needed to tell you even before i knew for sure-"

"jesus christ, yn, you scared the fuck out of me," he laughed nervously. "so, youre not pregnant?"

"i dont know," you reiterate nervously. you look at him as if youre asking for help. "i just wanted to tell you in case. im kinda panicking here."

"why havent you taken a test yet then?" he asked as if it were obvious.

"i dont have any, i wanted to go with you," you tell him, embarrassment filling you. "but if you dont want-"

"no, its fine," he sighed. he cupped your face, leaning in and kissing your forehead. "lets go."

bf!sapnap who held your hand on the drive to the pharmacy.

the entire drive was silent. not even music floating through the air to calm your nerves. every once in a while, you would look over to nick. hoping he would give you some sort of reassurance. instead, he kept his eyes on the road, tapping the steering wheel to the best of a song you couldnt make out.

when you pulled into the parking lot, you felt a strange mood set in. he parked the car, looking at the building. you waited for him to turn off the car but he never did. just as you were about to say something, he spoke up.

"are you gonna go?"

"what?"

"inside? why are you waiting?"

you cleared your throat awkwardly as you opened your car door wordlessly. walking inside, you gave the cashier a smile as they greeted you.

you walked through the isles, your mind think up the worst case scenarios. it made you want to cry and melt into a puddle in the middle of the pharmacy.

bf!sapnap who doesnt say anything when you get back inside the car. instead, he just drives back in the direction of the house.

you reach over to hold his hand. he gives you a tight lipped smile before looking back on the road. not even two minutes later, he pulled his hand away as he switched lanes.

you expected him to hold your hand again. but he never did.

bf!sapnap who waits with you after you've peed on the test. he seems more stressed than you. checking the timer ever few seconds.

you sat on the closed toilet seat as nick was leaned up against the counter, refusing to look at you. you kept your eyes on him, silently pleading him to say something. reasure you, talk to you, even look in your direction.

when the timer goes off, your heart is pounding through your ears. and nick immediately looks at the test. he takes in a deep breath as you look at it yourself. two lines, one a bright pink. the other faint but clear and visible.

"oh my-"

"gimme the box," he says abruptly, keeping his eyes on the pink lines. you look at him with concern as you reach for the box. he takes it from you and reads the back of the box frantically.

you take a step back as your mind starts racing. you cover your mouth as your eyes start filling with tears. nick standing still as his eyes dart back and forth between the used test and the box.

"fuck," he groans, tossing the box on the counter as he lifts his hat to run a hand through his hair. "fuck this."

"what are we- i dont- what should we do?" you ask in a wobbly voice. he turns around and looks at you like you asked the most ridiculous question you could think up.

"yn, we cant have a child. what do you mean 'what should we do?'," he sighs, realizing how you were beginning to spiral. "look, i love you, but we cant have a fucking kid. we're way too fucking young."

you blink at him, a tear falling from your eyes that you try to quickly wipe away. you nod, completely understanding. you look away, wraping your arm around you as you try to comfort yourself.

as soon as you find out you're growing a child, you've had to mourn it too. and nick watched you, practically watching your mind running a million miles a minute.

"look, its your body. if you want to carry it to term, put it up for adoption or get an abortion, im completely behind you," he says stepping closer to you, placing his arms on your shoulders. "but we cannot keep it. im too busy. we are too young."

you nod, shutting your eyes as if to stop the tears from forming. you purse your lips before launching yourself into him, clinging onto him desperately as you sob into his shoulder.

nick sighed and hugged you back, whispering into your ear about how everything will turn out fine. because as far as he knows, you two will be fine.

it short but i didnt really know where to take it. im leaving it open ended for anyone that wants to request something. and i wrote this so fuckin fast 😭😭

i kinda wanted it to be a different level of asshole for him but then it would be ooc. and i didnt feel like doing that. so yea. thats it... -nony

[tired-teacher-blog]

Hi! if you don’t have too many requests, but if you do dont worry about this. Hawks with a s/o who doesn’t have much self worth, always criticise’s them selves. him comforting them after their therapist ghosts them (totally not self indulgent)

I hope you're feeling better sweetie, and here I have our precious Hawks ready to soothe your heart ❤️

Title : A night stroll

Characters : Hawks/ Gender neutral reader

Genre : Angst/Fluff/ One shot

Trigger Warning : Anxieties/ Low self esteem/ Mental therapy

Masterlist|Second Masterlist

"This is weird, why isn't he picking up?"

You muttered as you tried calling your therapist for the fourth time that day. You were supposed to have a session two days ago but when you showed up at his office as per the appointment agreed upon, his secretary told you he was too busy to see you, and didn't even have the courtesy to reschedule for you, even after you politely asked her to.

Her response was as ambiguous as her boss's behavior when she asked you to call him yourself for a reschedule.

"Should I call again? What's going on?"

Your heart sank as your mind wondered to the worst case scenarios.. was your doctor not feeling well enough to see you? was he bored of you already? did he give up on the possibility of you getting better? were your problems too much to handle even for a professional?

As farfetched as that last part might be, your growing anxieties and non-existent confidence and self worth made it seem like a reasonable point..

_ "Ah.. hello!" finally he picked up.

_ "Yes, hello." his assistant answered instead, even though you were calling his personal number.. strange.

_ "It's y/n calling to reschedule please."

_ "Right, sorry but Doctor (name) will no longer be able to see you, so he will forward you to one of his trusted colleagues, let me pass you their phone number, they're already aware of your condition and agreed to take you in."

_ "Another doctor?" you couldn't understand the issue, neither could you find it in yourself to ask.

You simply thanked the woman and hung up the phone before collapsing on the couch.

So it was true, he gave up on you for some reason and didn't even have the decency to give you an explanation.

Honestly though, why would anyone bother explaining themselves to you? Why would you think that you deserve any kindness right now when your whole life has been a constant reminder that you don't?

It's shameful really, you genuinely thought that you were doing well with your therapy, even Keigo thought so too.. Keigo..

Will he ever leave you too? He had never given you a reason to suspect that he would, neither had he ever missed a chance to remind you of his undying love, and as happy as it should make you feel, knowing that he could easily do better never left your brain.

You felt like you were drowning, that maybe it would be best if you just disappeared, even Keigo's life would definitely be better without you..

_ ".. you okay?"

You flinched as a familiar warm hand held yours gently.

_ "K.. Keigo" how did he manage to get in without you noticing? How long had he been there? Were you so lost in your self pity to notice him approaching?

_ "What's going on beautiful? I've been calling your name for a while but you were too distracted to hear me." his eyebrows furrowed and his signature smirk was nowhere to be seen.. yeah, that was your doing, you managed to trouble the one you loved the most, and the realization felt like a spear piercing your heart.

_ "I'm fine, really, it's nothing I promise." you lied through your teeth and he knew it.

_ "It's me y/n, you know you can talk to me about anything right? I know you're only pretending to be alright so you wouldn't worry me, but all I want is for you to talk to me freely." his hold on your hand tightened, and you knew you owed him at least that much.

You started talking, not only about your doctor abandoning you, but also about everything his action inflicted on you.

And for once, you held nothing back and expressed in great detail your fears and your overwhelming low self esteem, your shame and your feeling of unworthiness, and especially the suffocation that comes when all those dark thoughts battle inside your head.

He listened to you carefully, gently wiping your tears away and kissing the back of your hand reassuringly, but never dared interrupting you because it was the first time you spoke so openly to him.

He knew how you felt already even if you didn't say it outright— of course he did, but hearing you finally talk straightforwardly was a definite step in the right direction.

You looked up hesitantly, only to be met with a big smile that strangely soothed you a lot more than the countless sessions you had with your doctor.

_ "I'm happy you're finally able to talk to me with no hesitation, but first, wanna go out with me?" his smile remained and you found yourself nodding instantly.

He stood up, pulling you along, but instead of walking to the front door, he went straight to the balcony, "oh yeah, we're gonna fly."

You opened your mouth to protest but a yelp came out instead as he picked you up in his arms and jumped out of your fifth floor appartement.

Your screams were buried in his neck as he carried your tense body.

_ "You trust me don't you?" he whispered against your temple before placing a soft kiss on your skin.

You nodded fervently but your face remained deep in the crook of his neck. You felt his chuckles rumbling in his throat, "then look up."

It took you a moment to do so, but when you finally found the courage to open your eyes, you were met with the most beautiful sight in the world. The big clear night sky decorated with countless stars, the city lights underneath your feet, the soft clean air fanning over your face, and most importantly, you were sharing all this with him.

_ "Keigo, this is amazing!" and for once your heart felt lighter.

_ "Take a deep breath honey," he urged and you obeyed, immediately regretting all the times he begged you to go out with him like that and you refused, "your doctor is a jerk, I cannot believe someone like that is allowed to treat people, but you know what? you're actually lucky he did what he did, I'll pull a few strings and find you a much better one in no time I promise."

_ "You would? really?" though it shouldn't come as a surprise that your boyfriend has some influence— being the number two hero and one of the most powerful people in the country.

_ "I would do anything for you, no matter what it is," his bright smile never failed to soothe your heart, "listen carefully y/n, because I'll say this as many times as it takes for you to believe it, and then some.. I love you so much and I always will, so please never doubt.."

You didn't know what came over you all of a sudden, but you had the urge to kiss him and so you did. You felt him smiling against your lips before nibbling on your lower one playfully, you were so lost in him, that you didn't realize when he landed on top of a building until your feet had finally touched the ground.

_ "I'm proud of you y/n, you are truly strong even if you fail to see it," he took your hands in his and kissed them as you two stood at the edge of the tall building, "I have no doubt that you are capable of overcoming any obstacle that faces you, and I will be holding your hand while you do it."

_ "I don't know what to say Keigo except, I love you," you smiled as you tilted your head to the side, "you've always believed in me when no one else did, I'm sorry for constantly pushing you away when all you've ever wanted was to see me happy." your smile suddenly disappeared as the overwhelming feeling of guilt took over you.

_ "Of course I believe in you! you've been fighting your whole life while counting on no one but yourself, you've accomplished so much and that's admirable," he cradled your cheeks while gently lifting your head up, "there is no reason for you to apologize because you did nothing wrong, I'm just happy you're finally comfortable enough to share everything with me, and to allow me to support you just as you've always supported me."

_ "I'm happy too! I just wish I did a lot sooner." you placed your hands on top of his and squeezed them gently.

_ "Well, nothing is lost beautiful, we have all the time in the world."

And he was right, opening up to him was the best thing you allowed yourself to do.

That night, on top of that tall building, you made a promise to never push him away again, a promise that brought you both happiness.

[melonteee]

being a sanji fan is literally the worst case scenario lmao like he's so disgusting and annoying but like in a funny way (and also in an i-want-to-crush-him-dead-under-my-shoe-way) but like for real i get it when ppl dont like him cause some of his gags really go too far and especially him being queerphobic is just 💀💀💀 but he's still, in my opinion, THE BEST written character in one piece, his whole story is nothing short of a masterpiece and in a cast full of amazingly written characters he still manages to stand out and i think that truly is something else, it's exceptional to see this much care & love put into a character by an author and it still blows mind every time i think about it

lmao it's the way he both is and isn't queerphobic, the way he forms a friendship with Bon-chan and has no issues with Kiku at ALL - even thinks she's drop dead gorgeous. But then ofc you've got Kamabakka island and it's like dfkghkjd WHAT is going ON HEEEEERE!!! He's so fucking annoying man but god I'm a little obsessed with him I wanna crush him with my bare hands so bad GRRAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!

[viralvava]

long vent

i feel like my two dearest friends never have the time for me anymore, and they hardly ever talk to me if i dont intiate, and they rarely respond even then

and i know that at least partly its because theyre busy, very busy, and they have lives of their own to contend with, but thats just... partly, isnt it? how do i know that all that time they dont have for me isnt just time they dont want to waste on me? did i become too much, or was i not enough and i just faded from their minds? im so often upset that most everyone is desensitised to it, because ill be right as rain after, or so it looks, but i dont know.

it feels like they dont care about me at all, like im at best just a toy thats always on the shelf for when they finally need a distraction, or at worst, a hindrance they need to appease every now and then so i dont make even more of a bother out of myself than usual, so i dont demand more of their attention than the minimum

and i know its unfair of me to blame people for not wasting their meager spare time on me, and even if they have more time to spare than i assume, it might destroy me but i still have no right to demand any more of their energy than they want to give me. and i especially dont have a right to complain when its really just my fault for bottling this all up, and not saying a word about it, so they probably dont even know i have the slightest issue with it, or that theres anything for me to take issue with at all

and i dont bring it up because i know its selfish, and im just being clingy, a pain, an attention whore or whatever you want to call it, not satisfied with being spoken to and remembered even when it does happen.

but hell, its just. it hurts. it hurts a lot. and i cant do anything about it because im scared of what it will reveal.

best case scenario, nothing happens at all. i dump all my feelings, i get apologies, but it really is just a lack of time, a business, likely combined with just my forgettability ane how they are as people -- so nothing changes. im still here.

but what if its not just that? what if im right? what if they do have more time than i think and they truly just dont want to spend it on me? what do i do then? i miss these people so much when they arent even gone but i dont mean as much to them as they do to me, and in fact, they mustnt be able to stand me, and. they just dont want to spend time with me, or talk to me, or anything.

and maybe... if they just didnt like me at all, it would be fine. i could deal with it

but i know they like me, i know they care about me at least a little, and that makes it so much fucking worse

because then that would mean they love me, but they dont love me nearly as much as i love them, and thats just utterly soul-crushing. how am i supposed to deal with that?

[sasukeless]

while i do think part of late stage naruto writing was just to wrap things up, sasuke completely forgiving itachi really just shows that he will always be the little brother. i mean not just logically lol like the personality, the little brother that looks up to his big brother and looks up to him and looks to him for guidance, regardless of how right or wrong it is. like yes sasuke was gonna attack konoha when its the opposite of what itachi wanted, but in the end its still influenced by his feelings for itachi (non rom. obviously). itachi can do whatever he wants or thinks he has to do and sasuke will forgive him. meanwhile you have itachi who also will always see sasuke as the little brother, emphasis on little, controlling him and what he does, up to the very end, never seeing sasuke as a grown person that can make his own decisions or even considering why sasuke does what he does, always clouded by his unquestioning loyalty to konoha. i think ironically people calling him a genius really fucked with his intelligence since he always thinks hes in the right (planning on brainwashing his own baby brother??).

i think it would be super interesting to see a what-if scenario where itachi survives post-war and continues this. probably not to the same degree but you cannot tell me he would just suddenly go 'ok sasuke i trust you know whats right for you:)' there is just no fucking way. and sasuke having the time and space to actually think about how his big brother is not right, not just pushing it aside to blow konoha up in grief and anger. like actually getting to work these things out and. idk where im going with this. feel free to reply publicly

u really read my mind like to me itachi the worst case of Older Sister u will ever see but sasuke also is the worst case of little sister when u actually stop to think it through because he reallyyyy would forgive itachi for all and i cant say that doesnt makes sense. im a middle child but for the longest time i was the little sister and i know whats being on the spot of forgiving the worst things from my sister does even when i KNOW i wouldnt forgive that from anyone else (not to trauma dump here but i was literally outed by my own sister to my parents horribly and even if its one of my worst memories like Ever. i really forgave her the second she did it). like of course in sasuke and itachi���s case is soooo far worse and their power dynamic is so much more messed up but it makes complete sense to me i cant lie about that. and also i find their relationship one of the most compelling things in the manga along with sns because of that. its horrible but god if its not gut-wrenching. sasuke will ALWAYS deserve better in my eyes but his love for itachi is so so big and unfortunately for him itachi also loves him the same his problem is that his way of loving sasuke is soooo bad, that in the end even if its sad to see sasuke losing his brother a second time itachi dying is the Best outcome for both cus had he kept living his way to love sasuke would just have continued to mess with sasuke’s life. Like youre so rightt had itachi survived post war he wouldve NOT been suddenly become the best brother thats just not how he ever was w sasuke, even if he didnt saw it he wouldve kept trying to make sasuke follow the life path he puts for him, but also like u said i think w itachi alive and sasuke himself growing up he wouldve also on his own began to put his foot down too to itachi Worst Older Sister syndrome. because the thing about grief is that when u lose someone you love you dont want to think of the bad memories so it makes sense after itachi’s death sasuke refuses to think badly of him even if he has all the reasons, and keeps him STILL on that pedestal of older brother and its insane but like i said. i get it

[narwhalandchill]

ok not to randomly go off on a somewhat negative ramble But. (general genshin story direction worries basically)

while there are a bunch of stunts i fear the genshin story slash lore could end up pulling that would serve as not only disappointments but to varying degrees also just retroactively ruin a lot of games writing for me. i dont think theres anything that im as genuinely concerned about as the possibility of like. completely losing their narrative marbles to an overdone time travel/temporal manipulation in one way or another like just the thought of that shit haunts me

bc like. while i dont find them particularly compelling as an argument for that to be the case regarding Everything in the narrative in current lore/theory circles (like. makoto n ei teaming up w istaroth once doesnt automatically establish universal time travel). it is unfortunately true that in canon lore there are many of the kind of lore pieces present that you could use to set that kind of reveal and complete restructuring of the story up. istaroth and the sacred sakura and some shady things said by various characters and how you could argue Any time loop or travel adjacent is just hidden by the irminsul 5head (another piece of writing whose potential misuse seriously alarms me, mind you). and so on.

and i am just. Not about any of that shit. like. for me absolutely any plot device or element that has the risk of fundamentally fucking up a storys continuity and coherence sideways to the degree BOTH the

"genshins gonna turn out to be ALL time travel/time loop/simulation to make [sudden endgame twist X heavily at odds with what was established in the central lore prior] appear sensible"

and

"celestia just irminsuls away all evidence for [that twist X again] so achsually it was always genius and compatible with lore"

tier of nightmare scenarios will have. is just. Not fucking worth it. this shit has ruined countless stories with vastly better writing and way more competent authors because its just. not the kind of stuff you can just insert in a massive fucking story willy nilly to explain away the mystery box you didnt bother to set up together so it ultimately comes together in a cohesive way that Doesnt need to be broken on multiple levels to scrape together some conclusion. and its just hhhhhhhhhhhhhh

and like ive never expected some massive masterpiece out of genshin like at best its gonna be one of those stories that once finished gets some really fucking banger fanwork as its community expands upon and explores a solid but flawed canon groundwork. theres fundamental flaws and limitations to its storytelling and format and that cant be helped. so im expecting no miracles on that front.

but the one fucking thing i dont want them to fall for is that misguided at best and outright pretentious and disrespectful at worst allure of. SEE! we outsmarted the audience! the theories! we broke our own story continuity to force a twist because our established worldbuilding technically makes it an option! isnt this smart!

like just please. no. no clue how unpopular this is but im already quite conflicted on the established use of irminsul in sumeru and how it arguably voided a lot of important characterization (nahidas inferiority complex) and narrative potential (scara literally becoming a non factor in the grander story more or less) for good but like. for now. fine. it hasnt become overused yet. i dont think its inherently bad as a factor of worldbuilding. i like how it recontextualizes fact and fiction and the significance of stories that appear mere fables in the world of teyvat. but as it stands the irminsul is still a deus ex machina. and thats a dangerous tool for any writer to have in careless use. and when combined with the sprinkles of lore involving the possibility of time manipulation and such to be further explored. its like powder and keg. two tools that can absolutely gut a story of its narrative cohesion and the weight of its stakes in an instant. its really fucking worrisome.

genshins writing is flawed but the one thing this game has going for it that i REALLY hope the writers will understand to respect is its world. how much the marriage between this massive and beautifully crafted immersive open world and the intricacies of lore and history afforded to all corners of it truly do in tandem to establish the world of genshin as more Real. as weightier. as a place you grow and remain attached to even when the main storys writing stumbles. the world is so important and to let it remain feeling real is just. i hope they understand how fragile of a gem that is.

featuring an artificial world order established by fraudulent divinity and that involving some degree of cosmic fuck-uppery of the natural order and all-encompassing illusion to maintain it is fine. this is a story heavily referencing gnosticism that theme is literally a given. but it needs to be an artificial world order imposed on a real world that remains feeling real the entire time through. and for that to be preserved it needs to remain grounded.

but the problem is that once a story truly commits to the "anything could be altered and fundamentally reversed with the right mcguffin at play with seeming impunity" there is no going back. it becomes very fucking difficult to keep the figurative feet of a narrative even touching the ground for even the most skilled of writers afforded absolute creative freedom to work with (which genshin does not have). and just that much more easier for the stakes to be lost completely. and i dont want to see that scenario become reality

[v-cain]

"The Great Prank War of The BAU"

Pairings: Platonic! Penelope Garcia xm!reader

Fandom: Criminal Minds

a/n: heyyyyy :D wasn't requested but it popped into my head and i thought it would be funny. btw, i dont think i need to warn you guys for anything but please lmk if im wrong ;))

-------

Penelope Garcia and Y/n L/n are total polar opposites, yet they couldn't be more alike. Garcia is someone who expresses herself through her colourful clothes, bright personality, pretty jewellery and cute decor, whereas Y/n is someone who expresses himself through his dark clothes, quiet personality, excessive jewellery and his (sometimes morbid) paintings.

Most outsiders would look at their appearances and think that they would never get along in a million years, but they would be sorely mistaken. You see, Y/n and Penelope (or Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, as Morgan puts it) are best friends, through and through. Which is why prank wars are so dangerous.

-------

Garcia looks at the forum chat she's in with Y/n and giggles mischievously. Morgan and Reid decided to team up on them and declare a prank war a few hours ago, which is the worst mistake they could have ever made. I mean, seriously, two FBI agents against a Forensic Scientist and a Technical Analyst? It's a no brainer!

Her attention is drawn back to the screen as Y/n sends more messages to her;

mr.br0wnst0n3r: we could mess with their badges? like put santa hats on them and stuff

p1nk13p13: N/n, that's a felony. I think.

mr.br0wnst0n3r: all the more reason to do it!

p1nk1ep1e: NO!!!!!!!!!

mr.br0wnst0n3r: IM JK IM JK

mr.br0wnst0n3r: i actually have an idea now, im omw to the batcave

Just as she reads the message, Y/n comes bursting through the door, panting heavily. "Holy guacamole, how fast did you run here? You're, like, three floors below me!" The taller doesn't respond, just leans against the wall trying to catch his breath. After a minute he manages to get out "I thought running faster would be more efficient..I was wrong." The duo giggle for a moment before Garcia asks what the plan he was talking about was.

Y/n grins before standing up straight, "Ok, so this would require a ton of effort and bribing-slash-seducing an electrician downstairs. Are you in?" The blonde barely wastes a second before responding with a wide grin "Always. Now, tell me the plan!"

-------

The plan was simple; Y/n was going to stand on a ladder pretending to be an electrician fixing the light above the entrance to the bullpen. He would have a tool box up there with him, except it would be filled with water-balloons. When either Morgan or Reid walked in- hopefully with the other already in the room- Y/n would turn the tool box upside down and the water-balloons would fall ontop of the poor, unsuspecting victim.

Penelope would be the one behind the scenes- she would have to assess whether the new electrician who's actually fixing the lights on floor 6 could be bribed into giving her his clothes, or seducing him into giving her his clothes. She wasn't very excited at the prospect of seducing a fifty-something year old man, but losing The Great Prank War of The BAU was something she couldn't face.

After she puts the clothes out for Y/n, Garcia will return to the bat-cave and man the security footage, waiting for one of the pair to go through the elevator doors. When they do, Penelope will message Y/n one message on her phone, letting him know that the next person to walk through the door is their intended target.

There were a few variables that the pair couldn't count on. A) One of the team realizes it's Y/n and points it out. (bad) B) Water-balloons hit someone who is neither Spencer nor Derek. (worse) C) The water-balloons miss Morgan/Reid entirely (worser) and D) The electrician files a sexual harassment claim (worst case scenario.) Y/n had faith in them, though, and this alone was enough to calm Penelope down from calling off the whole thing entirely.

Of course, to ensure Morgan and Reid didn't think they were up to something, they stole all their pens, "accidentally" broke the coffee machine 3 times in one week, jumpscared them by grabbing their legs from underneath their tables, ect ect. According to the voting stand JJ set up, they're currently tied with the amount of pranks successfully pulled against each other, with only 2 days left in the competition.

-------

Everything was set in place.

Y/n walked into the office at 6:30am this morning. He got changed into the electricians clothes- who was bribed with Krispy Kremes- and filled up his water-balloons in the bathroom. Garcia insisted that they stick some confetti inside too, to make it seem more like a "surprise" (as if water-balloon ambushes aren't surprising?), so there was some paper she found in a nearby shredder in there too.

At 7:15am, Y/n walked into the bullpen with a ladder under his left arm, and a toolbox in his right hand. His phone was in his left pocket, and all his notifications minus Penelopes contact were on silent. Garcia shoved some actual tool appliances into the sides of the toolbox, so it wouldn't look too suspicious. He had taken off his usual make-up and jewelry, shoved his hair under a blue golf cap and kept his head down- he figured this would be the easiest way to make himself unrecognizable.

And it worked.

The only people in the BAU at the time were himself, a few office workers, Emily Prentiss, Luke Alvez and Spencer Reid. Morgans ETA was 8:00am, but depending on whether he slept through his alarm or not Y/n could be on the ladder for and hour. It would be 100% worth it though.

Slowly, as time went by, the bullpen filled until only Morgan was missing. According to the watch on Y/n's hand, it was 8:02am, so he would be arriving any minute. The man could barely contain his excitement, twirling around a screwdriver when-

Bzzz-Bzzz.

Y/n opened the toolbox and adjusted it so that he could tip it over the second Morgan walks through the bullpen doors. He throws a quick, 'God, forgive me' and tips the the toolbox onto Morgan.

Everything is silent for a moment before Y/n starts laughing and takes off starts to get off the ladder. People start to recognize what just happened and start laughing along too, and not before long most are in hysterics.

When people start to calm down, Garcia rushes in a exclaims "We did it! We totally won!!" Y/n laughs and hugs his best friend, who is quick to hug him back. Morgan looks shocked at the both of them, "You?! You two did this?!" The pair erupt into laughter, and in-between laughs you can hear "He looks like a wet puppy!"

Morgan and Reid are, needless to say, very unhappy that they lost the The Great Prank War of The BAU, but aren't sore losers. Penelope and Y/n are definitely sore winners, though, and swear to hold this above their heads till the end of time.

[despite-everything]

im

just going to write this out because i need to get it out somewhere and dont know where my little audio recorder is. i know its hard to live with parents for a lot of people, and i knew it'd be hard for me but thats really hitting right now.

today wasnt the worst, but it also kinda sucked. some geriatric asshole stopped his working vehicle in the middle of the street for no reason, and nearly got me t-boned because of it, then i got an energy bill for a place i dont live despite cancelling the policy in july, then i got a message from my insurance agent saying my policy would be cancelled if i didnt pay (but nothing was due?) and then when i tried to call i learned that this house often doesnt have cell signal in the afternoon. i eventually managed to talk to the insurance people and got that sorted, but i couldnt get through to the energy people, so that's still unresolved. im still rattled from the car thing - i was almost killed in a car last year, so im very sensitive around crashes and near-crashes (no flashbacks today, though, so thats better than the last near-incident i dealt with). tomorrow my dad and i fly out to visit his aging parents - his dad is basically wasting away and his mom is losing her mind, so its a bit of a lets-visit-one-last-time thing. i havent seen them since 2018 and rarely talk to them, but i know theyve fallen down this horrible fox-news-christian-conservative hole lately, and before that they werent great, so i have a horrible feeling this trip is just going to be painful and sad. i know that best-case-scenario, we talk about nothing meaningful at all, and they dont comment on my appearance. but they're going to hate it. and if they actually knew me, they'd hate me, too. and i feel bad leaving my cat behind to live in the basement for 3 days - my stepmom will look after her, but she's going to be very lonely. so there's that, too.

but honestly i needed to write this out because my dad and i were driving our dog to the park to let her run around and we were listening to the radio. he asked me why i dont always use my radio voice, and i told him its because it takes extra effort to stay low and smooth for the persona and the microphones, and that after a few hours its tiring. he said he knew that, but then basically asked again - i tried to get him to clarify, but he didnt have the vocabulary to explain it, so he tried to mimic my voice (i guess?) and it was fucking mean. like i felt my heart drop and almost teared up immediately. i said something like "haha i don't sound like that" and he doubled down and said i did. and the thing is like... i know my natural voice is a bit nasal. im from texas and was raised with a mother and an aunt with nasally, high-pitched southern accents, and i inherited some of that. i HATE my natural voice. for years, any video taken where i spoke at all, i hated rewatching it. i thought i sounded annoying and could barely fathom people wanting to be around me. i hear any recording of my self earlier than 2021 and i want to turn it off and erase it completely. i don't think i'll ever get over that hatred. but as i've gotten older, my voice has dropped a bit. and i make a conscious effort to have much less of a texan accent (some words still trip me up - aisle, line, fire, wild... "i" is hard to not sound texan on), and i try to sound "smoother" and more pleasant. but i know i don't always succeed, especially if im excited. and the thing is, my excitement is always too much for my family. it's annoying and immature and overwhelming, apparently. so my entire life i've tried to tone myself down, but sometimes i fail, and sometimes i'm so wound up and anxious i fail then, too. and i know it's annoying, but jesus christ that imitation hurt.

when i tried to express that, my dad got pissed and was like "thats just what you sound like" and i said something along the lines of "you don't have to mean about it" and he got more upset and was like "im not being mean you just sound like that. but fine. i just wont bring it up ever again" and im sitting in the passenger seat thinking... what am i supposed to do? what am i supposed to say? if i cry, he'll get even more upset and think im overreacting and being immature, but todays already been hard (to self-regulate earlier, i bit my arm so hard i accidentally drew blood, and screamed so loud in my car my hearing was temporarily dampened, but while that helped, it didn't fix anything), and i could cry any moment. and my mind just loops back to the impression of me, which was startlingly similar to his "whiny voice" he uses to mock assholes. it just felt fucking awful and yet i felt kinda crazy because he keeps saying he didnt mean it in a bad way, and he isnt the type to play mind games but my mother did that sort of thing all the time, and i was tired and upset and wanted to go back home. after the park, i tried to continue the conversation, but never really understood what part of my voice or cadence he was referring to,but i think i smoothed things over enough. but it just sucks so much.

im living with him and my stepmom right now as i look for a job, and im more than an hour away from any of my friends. while i could drive to see them, it doesnt make sense to waste that gas when im unemployed and heading for the airport in the morning tomorrow. and i dont really call my friends. i could, but its not a thing we do, and i honestly would just want to say what this post said and then move on. i just wish i had company. but im outside trying not to be eaten alive by mosquitoes but theyre getting me through me jeans, so i just have to suck it up and go inside to wash the dishes.

[zahroreadsthings]

hmm vriska thoughts under the cut

putting this under the cut because it's going to be mostly incoherent rambling from someone who wasn't around for the vriscourse but i mentioned in a tag before vriska's actions followed a pretty simple pattern to me and i want to study her like a bug

like a lot of things boil down to

she gives the distinct impression that she had bad choices, didn't see a way out, and eventually decided to get comfortable (eg killing trolls to feed her lusus - she's not shown to have a problem with it, but also seems disappointed after her conversation with kanaya when she sees her lusus is still alive, and also doesn't take up karkat's offer to bring her lusus back to life)

i think this eventually devolved to her thinking she doesn't have control over her actions or their consequences at all, which in turn (ironically, given her whole thing) made her incredibly easy to manipulate (rolling her dice and determining she has bad luck she can't fight against, and then being exploited by doc scratch - he says at least once 'you'll do this anyway, i'm just telling you what's already been laid out'), which she uses to absolve herself of responsibility

which isn't to say she has no responsibility, obviously; the thing that pulls it all together is the way she exploits others she sees as beneath her. in her first few appearances i remember thinking 'peak white woman' - but obviously not just a white woman thing, i'm sure any member of a marginalised community knows at least someone else who's marginalised and tries to feel better about their position in society by exploiting people with less social/political power (side note: i also think she feels her position among the 'blue bloods' is precarious too; if terezi's comment to aradia about being a little too teal for their tastes is anything to go by that would mean her caste neighbour is also on thin ice)

and i'm sure her whole thing can largely be chalked up to her relationship with her lusus; in the best case scenario she fed her lusus of her own free will, and in the worst case scenario (if [s] make her pay is any indication of the power a lusus has over their troll) it's entirely possible spidermum had at least some direct control over vriska's actions

(which also means that if that is the case she's very new to making decisions without outside influence, and that's a skill we all develop) (and boy is she not doing great <3)

so personally, the question i kept in mind while reading act 5 act 1 wasn't 'did vriska do anything wrong/was she justified' but 'how much control over a situation does she have vs how much does she think she has vs how much does she pretend to have' because those are all wildly different

which is all to say, after reading this her decision to wake john up and claim responsibility for making him a hero makes complete sense

AG: Relaaaaaaaax.

AG: Listen, John.

AG: Regardless of what I did, he is already here.

AG: I know this consequence will 8e hard for you to accept, 8ut whenever you feel angry or confused a8out it, just repeat this to yourself.

AG: It should 8ecome your mantra!

AG: He is already here.

like. im sure she's trying to pass on the rules to john that she's lived by lol, I genuinely dont think she's able to comprehend a life outside of predetermination

[ariesbilly]

I honestly would've loved to have Billy stay and be alive and have a full redemption arc like? & have him interact with the group? I really thought the character was interesting and had a lot of potential and it felt cut short. I get why he was the ultimate sacrifice for his sister and all that and it was important to have his backstory displayed but I almost wish he could've lived. Like where would the story go and be? Then again..this is in a perfect world. I don't trust the duffers to handle serious issues like recovering from abuse delicately or write it well. :/ maybe it's for the worst best case scenario idk.

this is my struggle lmao cuz i know if billy was alive for season 4 we wouldve gotten some fuckshit. like BET they wouldve magically fixed his and neils relationship and made neil a good dad or whatever

but at the same time i just... want him alive lmfao part of me is like i dont even care what they did to him i just want him alive i just need to know hes alive 😂 his character is just too tragic for this show to kill him the way they did and how it was handled afterwards like... it does not sit right with my spirit how he was handled so like even if i had to see them do some stupid shit with him in season 4... i could ultimately ignore that and live my life and just make up a new narrative for him and all would be great

the fact he is dead... that is always in the back of my mind and its fucked up like i literally cant even think too long about how they treated him cuz it genuinely pisses me off and depresses me. just brings down my whole entire mood

[sun-jelly]

idk how people arent seeing it. i thought the show was trying to make a very purposeful parallel between him and alicent - having to do it for duty......ive seen a lot of people tho interpret his reticence and silence as his own inner turmoil w/ his honor/oath and from what i gather from the actors this is how the showrunners meant for it to come across (dont how what the female director intended exactly) but if thats what they wanted, they did a bad job.

from the very beggining, i didn't see it like that, i was instantly uncomfortable. in the very best case scenario, he did what he wanted with a great amout of personal guilt and reticence, after wanting to get out of it, and he was absolutely used by nyra as a way to get off when she actually wanted her uncle (the way she startes over his sholder; this isnt about him or them) - something im sure he will be distressed to find out.

worst case and to me most clear scenario? he didnt kiss her back, tries to get her to stop, tells her to stop, she has to force him to even look into her eyes..... it is true that they had a lot of time, that he was smiling while taking his boots off, and there was a moment of passion when he first goes to kiss her.... apart from that? his energy is horribly off - and even a "deep down he wanted it" excuses nothing and just sounds like rape apologia when Most of It felt Very off.. shes giggling, he looks solem, almost pained, out of it, blank face, and like his head may be put on a spike (which it very well could)...... who is to say this man thought he had any choice at all to deny the princess?

what really sealed the deal for me was the next morning. he didnt want to look at her, meet her eyes, come near her... thats not just a man who is in personal conflict with his actions and regretful... it came across as much more than that, a much deeper hurt, a fear (tho he is also 100% scared of the consequences).

,,,, and apart from the parallel with Alicent, i thought it was also meant to say something abt her and daemon.. firstly, and in a quite fucked up way, their scene actually felt more like they were equals and both wanted it, especially as daemon realized hes not holding all the power and freaked out (obvs tho it can be said he groomed her before). but. in his fucked up way, he teaches her sexual liberation and freedom.... and it Shows that she had learned from him, from a man. She treats cole as men treat sex, and as daemon taught her - take what you want, dont think about the consequences, its for personal pleasure, dont mind the power imbalance.

Anon yes this is amazing. You pointed out things I wasn’t even thinking about! This is a great analysis. I watch the episodes every week with my friends and when this scene started we were all like ohhhh she’s gonna do it with the hot guard and then it turned into oh no she’s gonna do it with the hot guard. And it’s so obvious he is only doing it out of a sense of duty. He even said in the previous episode that everything he is now he owes to her so he doesn’t want to deny her anything which is not him consenting!!! It’s him being forced into sex through guilt, a sense of debt to her, and fear of what might happen if he denies her!

Anon let’s be friends

[zipmode]

8,11,30!!!

8.What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in?

hmm oh man I think there's lots 🥴but uhhhh there's a story I wanted to write out in a sort of tumblr ask blog style about this radio host in a post-apocalyptic town who had caught the ire of the big bad guy. Their name was Jaz, I've posted abt them a few times before, but I could never figure out how to end it LOL. I still keep Jaz close to my heart, though. (2 pictures to shrink the size LOL)

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what?

oh god yes. If i dont listen to something I'll die. I'll watch light t.v., a rtvs stream if anyones live or there's a vod i wanna watch, or just some music I like. I have playlists for characters but they're not NECESSARILY like. the ones I put on while I draw them every time. If that makes sense. (im proudest of the one I made for The Instance, it fits their character the best LOL) 30.What piece of yours do you think is underrated?

oh ummmm hm. maaaaybe best worst case scenario? (gore and body horror cw for the link) it's probably one of the pieces im proudest of but it never really went very far LOL. I don't mind too much though, I'm just happy it came out so well ^_^

[think-it-through]

i dont like to talk of others than myself on the internet so ill keep the side of my oartner as inaccurate as i can while still expressing myself on this matter.

but. i have anxiety right? and ive dated someone for a long time. and yet there are little to no complaints little to no instructions. in some ways, yes its great. and beautiful and why cant i just accept that? do i belive i cannot have a happy relationship? no i do, i can and deserve one. i just don't believe its real, not like this. so im constantly trying to do my best and prevent ever hurting them or neglecting their needs by mistake and at the same time constantly trying to brace myself for the moment it does happen. the moment they break and tell me they think i am bad for them and toxic and incompatible and this is not working. and this part obviously comes from some part of me, not them. probably some sort of result from the conditionality of the love i experienced before this, its just so hard to believe someone would love me without conditions, conditions that, as an imperfect human i will ofc, predictably so, never meet or fail to meet at one point or something alone those lines.

and yet. the other side of things is just. how little i feel like i know about their mind and boundaries? in this relationship, as a sensitive person, that is also conflict averse i do my bestest to explain my emotional needs and thought processes, preventively or in case something already did hurt me or affect me somehow. part of this is to avoid conflict but a big part of it is also to avoid being misunderstood, my behaviour slipping and reflecting my regative, hurt, petty emotions and then, worst case scenario in my head, hurt my partner. so im constantly explaining myself, constantly asking for what i need or saying how i feel in detail, when i am asked and ready to do so. to be clear, this is all intented as a means of being understood, bringing security into the relationship, i try my best to deal with my emotions and not make it seem like i am bestowing them onto my partner to be responsible of.

but, as someone like that, it is so hard for me to take, to believe, to accept, the lack of boundaries and communication about any hurt they ever felt in this relationship. there have been sometimes where they did talk of something, but its less than i can count on one hand and it was usually brief and momentarily, rarely resurfacing or anything in the likes of that.

ive discussed these worries with them and they always simply say im a good partner and they genuinely dont have anything more in their head that they are hiding or anything lile that.

but, in a different context they have also mentioned a fear of intimacy which would explain this. and also a tendency to deal w every struggle by themselves or at least the emotional type.

and at least twice they have admitted to going through more emotionally than they let on(during a situation i notice they act unusual and then a few days later after i worry about it, maybe they admit to it)

so im at a point of.. do i bring this up again for the 19th time and force this person to open up and let me into their emotional life? or, to put it much less harshly, do i insist that i want (and frankly, to deepen our connection i need) our relationship to be a space for visiting each others minds, being emotionally vulnerable, maximising emotional and physical comfort to each other around each other, authenticity, a space so comfortable neither of us think twice before simply saying whats on their minds, before simply being, simply existing in each others presence. i want it to have the nature of full authenticity and comfort in that sense but also discomfort as in healthy, growing, discomfort, such as emotional vulnerability and open honest disagreement and genuine interest in listening and understanding each other and our differences (something i have experienced with few close friends already. so i know it is possible. it sounds romanticised when put into words like this but all in all, i just wanna be completely honest and completely be ourselves around each other man. if we re not then are we really in love, are we really friends. are we really connecting.

orr, the other option that i have been trying to take and failing is. trusting that they are in fact, already doing everything they said above and there is no other hidden layer. and they are just much more simple in their thinking and much more secure and stable in their emotions, so ofc, to someone like me, who has to constantly manage the wave of my emotions, it seems unusual but in fact, it is just another way of being? but, also, knowing my partner, they are not a neurotypical, anxiety/emotion free person either. so. but then again, i am an anxious person. its hard for me to admit self diagnosis wise but i really believe i have some type of anxiety disorder. and the opposite of anxiety iss trust, something i am trying to practice more, so perhaps for my growth, i should try to continue with this route thst has not helped me so much, trust.

well, i did try both routes and neither was satisfactory. 1. sure i can ask but if my partner doesnt want to share or believe there even is smth there to share, i just get nothing.

2. i trust and it might be okay for a while, but i feel part of our connection is lacking, and also the fact is imminent, that a situation will happen, some sort of moment, and i will sense an emotion or boundary or even just thought or opinon unmentioned by them and i will go insane once again,over everything i just wrote down.

welll i might jst try to bring this up as philosophically as i wrote it here and discuss it for fun w them and see what happens.

but also, why am i so obsessed with knowing everything in this persons mind(cough cough love i guess??) they deserve their privacy but i also deserve a relationship connection that is emotionally satisfactory and mutual, not just on my end.

i dont know. i dont know anything. but ik one thing.

i love this person and, only and only in a way healthy and nurturing for us both and our growth, i want to make this work.

[nutzworth]

heres a little my thoughts on the dirkjake of the modern day

as is apparent the dirkjake scene is preoccupied with cannibal violence evil dirkjake. its evil dirkjake all the way down but this era is VIOLENT. its blood and guts and viscera. this was spawned by respected tumblr user borzoi who i also respect and admire a lot.

HOWEVER. on instagram my wonderful mutual was like I dont really like the cannibal dirkjake goings on. and i respect and admire my mutual a lot too is the thing. unnamed cus i dont want even a semblance of threat of discourse between users (even though i know both parties would NOT engage in such a thing).

ANYWAY: my thoughts? before i knew about cannibal dirkjake i was a big fan of dirk being the worst freak ever and jake being hesitant or careful. something about it speaks to me. it speaks to how overwhelming dirk is, how much jake is a people pleaser even if he personally doesnt want to do something. i dont think jake deep down would WANT to do violence to dirk the guy he loves. i think dirk would want jake to do violence to him though because it feeds his self loathing. and thats subconscious for him but i think in a corner of his mind he knows it, but it just fuels it more and its so addicting. this is to say; dirk wants jake to cannibalize him, and jake is like Um. haha. What? Um. You want that? Really? Wont it hurt?

and of course i could be wildly misreading jake as a character. but you know whos to say. the thing about jake is that he could go any which way postcanon because he built up all these pretenses and now theyre all crumbling (i read this somewhere... dont remember where. maybe tomatograter.) . ive read fics obviously where jake wants to kill hurt maim dirk and dirks cool with it (even playing a little hard to get. tsundere if you will) (SORRY.) but like... they all displayed jake as this villain or monster which he CAN be but ugh. ugh. REAL jake english? real postcanon jake english?

perhaps its that hes as i believed him at the beginning of postcanon. up through epilogues and hs2. i think it would take him millenia to get over himself. i think lord jake english or ultimate jake would totally kill murder maim. i dont think regular jake would. i think thats where i am right now

since im on a roll: i definitely think dirk would want to get eaten or killed by his lover cus of aforementioned reasons. i think he would feel so terribly bad about cannibalizing his partner or even killing them, especially if its jake. hes so CAREFUL around jake is the thing. hes afraid he will be too much again. but he cant keep being careful thats not who he is. i think dirk thinks killing his lover is a selfish move on his part and he doesnt want to be like, too much, so hes like The best way to do this. Is to do it on Jakes call. and so jake has to be the one to eat him.

though in a scenario where they are killing each other theyd be fighting mutually already... i dont know. i guess i have a hard time picturing them fighting in general it doesnt interest me much. im a sucker for passive aggressiveness and unspoken signs and miscommunication and SILENCE. its what im accustomed to. and assuming the two of them live in perhaps the same place, theres just this unspoken weird gap between them neither can cross, its hard to believe either can kill or cannibalize the other. UNLESS dirk confronts jake like I want this. Kill me please jake. You have to decapitate me. in which case it will be awkward and weird and i spoke about this.

what the hell am i on about? thats my thoughts on the cannibalistic dirkjake sitch. I know theyre crazy i just... i dont know... its my thoughts... i have a lot of thoughts about dirkjake ok.