SO what i would've done in my epic perfect ending to the umbrella academy is:
EITHER
- ok, if we must do the downer ending where they sacrifice themselves to save the entire world and must no longer actually exist. what would've been a lot more satisfying and clever in addition to that is: the umbrella academy comics exist in the new world.
Claire is the writer/artist mastermind behind the series, because she has this strange near-memory of someone once telling her these bedtime stories about a group of dysfunctional but endearing superheroes. she assumes it must've been her imagination, but still, there's a resonating echo of love.
boom. our brellies live on and get to learn and grow and be happy in some way, even if it's in fiction.
OR
- when Five is talking to all the versions of himself in the Five Diner, he first thinks it's the whole family that's the problem with the timeline and yeah, that they'd need to die so everyone else could live, but then!
the other versions of him tell him that no, it's not the whole family that's the wrench in the gears of the universe. it never has been. it was him.
this whole time, he's been looking for answers in every direction but within. he was the only variable he hasn't considered, the last unknown.
more specifically, it was him leaving his family that broke the timeline and caused the curse of the inevitable apocalypse.
that led to the Commission, to the Kugelblitz, to the Umbrella Effect/Keepers Cult - to every possible bad ending, in every timeline Five and Lila ever saw.
so, uh... maybe after a conversation with Diego and Lila if they wanted to resolve that whole situation more.... maybe after a conversation with Viktor (Five's childhood best friend, despite the show literally always forgetting about that)...
Five gets on the timeline train one more time, then jumps back to the day he ran away. maybe he's young again but with all his memories intact, because he's figured out how to control that now, maybe he just tells his younger self not to mess with time travel or leave home.
either way, Five goes back to dinner. then he grows up with everyone.
Ben doesn't die, because Five being there helps save him somehow. Klaus gets better, Allison learns to let go, Diego and Luther reconcile, and Viktor has a best friend to tell him he's always been special, and help him sort out his powers properly.
Lila and the other Sparrows and Jennifer are still alive in this version of events, they just grew up differently, in different places and circumstances. they all find their way to the Hargreeves, because of course they do. Allison has Claire. my beloved Grace is there.
Reginald dies, and they dance at his funeral. the world doesn't end eight days from then, or any time after that.
the show ends with the gang dancing to I Think We're Alone Now, but they're in the same room this time, all together in their old house, and everything is the way they've always deserved.
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Big Mama must have lost some serious standing in the yokai underworld because it’s gotten apparent that she keeps being beaten by a small group of teenagers and the occasional rat man, and when it’s not them then she’s taking L’s from her own schemes working against her.
And in the ensuing power vacuum, the Hamatos accidentally become the most feared crime family known to all the big bads of the Hidden City.
After all, they’ve publicly outplayed Big Mama multiple times, a couple of them have taken out the heads of two of the most well known criminal organizations, one took out Heinous Green, two are responsible for the destruction of Witch Town, they have ties to both the infamous Baron Draxum and Captain Piel, they won the Doom Dome death race, they’re Battle Nexus Champions, they’ve displayed insane feats of power and defeated impossibly strong enemies, most of them have been to jail, and they regularly mingle with humans.
You can just imagine the notoriety they’d accumulate from word of mouth alone.
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seeing everything about the secret lives of mormon wives is so weird to me because
1. I didn’t grow up in Utah so some of the more cultural vs. doctrinal societal norms weren’t really prevalent
2. I have very chill parents who love the religion but also know that the church institution itself is fallible and religion/practice are personal above all else
so it feels almost alien??? Like I grew up in the church, and even though I’m pagan now I still enjoy going to church with family when I’m in town and I feel up to it. I have ties there. I love a lot of the people in the ward I grew up in.
it feels like this show is talking about something I’m barely even familiar with. Idk. It’s also frustrating because I really want someone from outside of the church to take us seriously enough to do an actual deep dive into the cosmology/culture/structure and general history of the church without affirming or outright condemning all of it. There’s so much nuance in people’s relationships with church and it makes me kinda sad that we never get that.
idk I maybe need to start incorporating some Mormon characters with actual nuance into writing projects ‘cause… I’m sad sometimes lol
(also if I have to explain one more time to someone that an institution can be bad/have serious flaws without being a cult I’m going to lose it. SOME BRANCHES OF THE CHURCH FIT THE BITE MODEL. SOME DO NOT. STOP USING CULT AS A BUZZWORD. I grew up with people saying Mormonism was a cult. I also know someone who was raised in an actual cult, and trust me, the cultish-ness of lds religious practice is based on a wide variety of factors and where you live. I personally think it’s pretty rude to just tell someone you barely know that they’re in a cult with no research or sensitivity around it.)
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Sometimes I think the Captain should’ve been way more angry at Peepaw Mark at the diner in part 2.
I mean sure there’s the obvious reasons, the whole trying to kill you, destroying the universe so badly it needed to reboot, sabotaging the ship in the first place-
But doesn’t that mean he staged for the glass in the front of the ship to break when the Captain was awakened from their cryo pod?? Wasn’t he the one that killed YOUR Mark- your universe, your Mark that will never ever be the same Mark again no matter what new universe you’re spawned into?
Sitting in that diner in the booth across from the man that killed my original universe’s Mark…idk I’m just saying the Captain should’ve lunged with their own knife hand for that one
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I saw a rant about how the back and forth between Fyodor and Dazai is ridiculous at this point and like. I think that’s the point. The point is that one is not actually superior to the other in regards to intellect so they are ALWAYS going to be stuck in this cycle of ‘well I thought of/planned/predicted that!’.
The difference is in their connections and what those connections are made of. I find it fascinating actually that Fyodor thinks he’s won because he STOLE gravity away from Dazai and claimed Dazai didn’t even know how to use it when he had it! The thing is though, Chuuya doesn’t seem to be under Fyodor’s control anymore and he hasn’t ever chosen the people who try to use him like an object over Dazai. And despite the four years of separation (which was longer than their time together) he always came when Dazai expected him to.
And I’m thinking he expects him to now which would ultimately be what tips the scale in Dazai’s favor. Because where Fyodor sees a tool Dazai sees his partner. I’m also thinking Chuuya isn’t the only key to success here and that was why he chose Sigma too (if the points where he thinks about the ADA not using each other is any sort of foreshadowing).
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