#like girl maybe i get bad grades and dont understand stuff because youre a bad teacher

[fragglez]

how will i ever get better grades if homework makes me cry

[normalestgirlblog]

UPDATE

so i kind of have a new boy

hes older which scares me in a lot of ways

not that much older like 2 years im being dramatic

but obviously like high school me is flipping shit bc i was so in love with so many of the boys 2 years above me like i was actually obsessed with them and they were kind of like the last era of boys i was obsessed with when i used to be boy crazy

and when i say i used to be boy crazy I USED TO BE FUCKING INSANE AND DELUSIONAL

like a boy would ask me the time and i would think about it for a month type delusional

and atp all my friends were like hooking up / like fucking and everyone thought i was a lesbian, which may have been my fault whoops. i ruined my chances with girls because i may have been a little pyscho to my first girl but she was also fucking crazy in my defense. and then i ruined my chances with guys because everyone thought i was a lesbian bc bitches did not know that bisexuality was an actual thing

anyways

i was just obsessed with boys without even knowing them and it was always the ones like 2 years above me, 3 years was too far, and 1 year was too close plus they were not nearly as cute as the boys 2 years above me. like my art class was fucking incredible for me. although as soon as u get to know them it gets like problematic and i lose feelings. like i was properly obsessed with this boy in my art class, and one day we did this exercise where basically we had to talk about people that we hated. and literally out of nowhere he was like I hate Colin Kaepernick, which like is just so inherently horrible on so many levels. i get that he was like an army boy, he ended up going to west point and like whatever army boys are really sensitive about that stuff. But wtf like 1 that was the first name u came up with and 2 you are so fucking dense that you cant see how thats a problematic thing to say and 3 if you are so invested into this hatred did you at least take the time to understand why he did it. the answer to that last one is def not, because if he did he wouldnt have said that. i didnt even know that people like werent on his side. maybe im close minded to conservatives but like what the hell. Either way my crush was kind of obliterated into a million pieces, i would argue that my heart broke that day during art class.

obviously i would have heart wrenching crushes on people in other grades, but that grade was so good, so mysterious, so like lively and just very obsessable. People in my grade were so outwardly horrible that it was very hard to sustain an obsession on anyone.

however, the reason i havent had an obsession like crush on anyone since then except for this boy and he who shall not be mentioned, might be because i started smoking consistently after this era. and it kind of filled the hole where obsession existed and fed off my romantic ideals and delusional mind. weed like just made me not think or delude myself into liking people that were not good for me or anyone. and honestly if it also filled the hole of insecurity and all of the other stupid reasons i got suspended that wouldve been great too. it made me not care about delusional shit but did not fix me in the ways that i needed. it was never enough. fuck. and now that i dont smoke im getting fucking obsessed with boys again. it feels good but obviously also feels horrible because of the amount of panic attacks and insecurity that comes with liking a fucking boy.

liking a girl isnt much better, i also went crazy doing shit like that, but i havent done that in a while either. its worse to have an obsession with a guy that you know and are actively talking to. because you are just as delusional while they are making u feel bad about yourself to your face, and its not intentional but its not accidental. men are just manipulative creatures that have developed methods of getting what they want from women by playing into these fucking fantasies. that we are socially bred to have. like if i wasnt surrounded by notions of romance and loving a man despite his many many faults, and that my self-worth comes from having sex and being with a man, i would not be this fucked up over a fucking man.

And it honestly makes it worse that I know all of this, and I am still behaving like this. like i see the problem, i understand it, where it came from, why it exists, how it subjugates me and the women even gay women around me. there is still this compulsory subservience of men that is translated into this want and need for their attention and approval and validation. its so fucking twisted. and yet i find myself wanting them, needing them, allowing them into my heart and stomach and blood and brain and just letting them fuck all of my shit up. WHY. its not like i am stupid. i think. but like why. im miserable with them and im miserable without them. maybe im the problem?

i wonder what its like to be a man, to have this much power over women.

wait i got so off topic im just realizing. idk how it is possible but every single one of my posts turns into something depressing and existential. but i am actually happy. i do feel like im going a little bit crazy over the situation, and i am also still leading on the other girl bc i just cant bring myself to break her heart. but new obsession helping me get over old obsession and thats all a girl can really ask for.

however

i am not sure how in detail i can get abt sexual things on this app these days, but i need to get this out because it is bothering me. we were hooking up whatever and he was like i dont have a condom. obviously because i am easy and didnt suspect him to be a whore i was like oh lol thats fine idc. but then he was like oh i dont want to without a condom. which i know is normal and like very healthy but my mind is like a fucking maze of possibilities. one, that he thinks i have an std which is possible since i told him i havent used a condom in a while whoops. two, that he has an std, but we did other things that would make me not believe that. three, that he is really that nervous about getting me pregnant or stds in general, which in that case i would begin to question how nervous he is as a person and whether or not hes being really normal and im the freak, or the cautiousness of that act means something else. either way, im a fucking psychopath and no matter what anyone does im going to think of all the worst possibilities of what something could mean. this is why i like doing this and like unloading all of my thoughts because i get to see how anxious i truly am like i feel so fucking self aware right now its almost turning me on.

i dont think hes a freak, i think hes really normal. i am probably the freak that i find that really odd. also his body is so hard. its nice. and his face, but the beard scruff thing going on left my face RED.

im also completely overthinking all of it becasue it is unfortunately impossible for us to continue whatever has just been started because he is MOVING TO FUCKING SPAIN. fucker. its like he doesnt even care about me. im having a salvatore moment i suspect, and after its over a california moment. if i reference all of my romantic inclinations in terms of lana del rey songs it helps me like process them. still waiting for my groupie love <3

[kunimikat]

How they act after you break up with them.

(I made sure to check but there might be small grammar errors, and this is a long one so strap in 🙇, but hope you enjoy angst+fluff here) but not me actually feeling bad for them after-

Is more out of it then usual.

The reason you broke up with him is because you felt like it wasn’t a real relationship. And more like you sometimes got to talk during class, and sometimes out of school.

He writes in his a separate notebook of ways he could’ve done better

Starts comparing himself to other guys more often

Leaves earlier then everyone else to got to dorms.

Mumbles even more then usual, and sometimes the only person that can snap him out of it is Aizawa.

Sometimes takes it out on his friends

“Hey Deku!-“

“Not right now Uraraka.”

“Oi, Deku nerd, the-“

“Can you not right now Kacchan?”

“HAAH?-“

“Midoryia! Would you like to study?”

“Maybe later Iida...”

Todoroki offered him soba but it resulted in Midoriya slowly slurping up soba as he looked into the void of people

He shut everyone one out and didn’t talk barely most of the week.

He’d take out a lot of his anger during training.

It somehow finally clicks into place how bad you feel and how much you miss him when All Might pull you aside and asks. “Uhhh...Is Young Midoriya ok? I’m getting real worried....ITS NOT LIKE I DONT WORRY ABOUT MY OTHER STUDENTS HAHAHA! HOW’S-

There’s 15 minutes of your life awkwardly telling All Might how all your classmates are doing.

Which made you want to jump off the top of UA at the moment.

You decide to head to his dorm and ask him about it, cause you feel like it’s your fault.

You walk in on him crying, clutching the shirt you bought for him on his birthday.

You almost dropped to your knees in guilt at the sight

You rushed over and sat by him, comforting him, though it wasn’t much as you started crying too.

Basically a crying festival for an hour.

“Please....Please Y/N I love you so much, I promise I’ll make it work, and I’ll do my best to make it up to you, just please...PLEASE don’t leave me.” You kiss him on the lips and then his hand, “Babe it’s not all on you, I promise I’ll do better this time too, I’m so sorry for being selfish, I love you, ok?” Another crying fest.

After you start dating again:

Always makes sure you’re comfortable, and checks into your dorm before he starts a study session.

Helps you with your work before his. ( Though you insist he doesn’t as he’s gotten points off multiple times for turning in his work late.)

Goes on dates every time you have some free space in your schedules. Somehow ends up in an All Might merch shop 80% of the time.

!!CUDDLE SESSIONS AFTER HERO TRAINING AT ALL TIMES!! Even in Recovery Girl’s office, though many times she bops you both on the head and tells you to get out.

(If you both like All Might) You both geek out over new All Might stuff, and his old interviews while wearing an All Might onesies.

(If you like a different hero) You could spend hours bickering on who’s best hero, pulling up recordings and articles on the. With you holding your favorite hero plushie and him wearing All Might pajamas.

And waking up early just to take a long route to school together.

Makes sure to say ‘I love you’ at every small moment, and compliments you, though he can’t take compliments himself-

If it’s a permanent breakup:

“I...I understand, but why?”

Tears well up in his eyes and he for once he keeps eye contact with you, without looking away

It takes everything in you to not breakdown

“I’m sorry Izuku, I just don’t think it’ll work out in the end.” He grabs your hand and holds it both of his. He puts it to his forehead, nearly on his knees at this point. You try not to cry with him, but you knew it wasn’t going to end up a happily ever after in the end. And you wanted to break it off before that could happen.

“Izuku, I know, I know, I’m so sorry, I wish it couldn’t end like this-“

“Then don’t let it. Please Y/N don’t let this end.”

You eyes welled up as you put a hand over your mouth while repeating ‘I’m sorry, so sorry Izuku’. You looked away from him as you slipped your hand out of his, you close your eyes painfully, the tears finally running down your face. You couldn’t help but look back one more time, and almost wanted to run to where he was and take it all back. He sat on his knees, his head in his hands as painful sobs wracked his body. You quickly leave the room, shutting the door behind you.

You both were pretty quiet and emotionless the whole week.

Midoriya was even worse then before,

It got to the point where sometimes he didn’t eat or sleep

He barely responded to anything anyone said

Hell, even Bakugo was worried at some point

Midoriya would always go back to his dorm and cuddle with the gifts you gave him while you were dating.

It took a long time for him to get over it, and even when he thought it did, he still gets emotional over it

Even after highschool it pains him to see your off doing your own thing without you at his side the whole time

Quieter then usual

Is so deep in thought, sometimes forgets he’s in class or what he’s doing

During tests, or while working on assignments he’d be so deep in thought he didn’t realize he broke his pencil, or used his quirk on his desk

Instead of having his usual outburst on people he’d just walk off, or click his tounge and walk off

Even during Hero Lessons he’d be less calculated, and not as pumped up

When anyone tried to ask he’d just say “Fuck off, I’m fine.”

His grades slightly dropped

He had bags under his eyes, and had even worse posture then usual

When it came time to leave, he’d be the first one out, and no one could find out where he’d go

A permanent frown was on his face at all times (basically him most of time but with a deeper frown)

No one knew what to do at this point

It didn’t click with you until one day during Hero Lessons

He was sparring with Kirishima and all of a sudden he fainted

Everyone was surprised to say the most

You rushed with Kirishima to Recover Girls office

You both almost busted the door off it’s hinges

She wacked you both on the head but quickly tended to Bakugo, surprising you both as she checked on him

“Oh....I wouldn’t have expected this from Bakugo.” You and Kirishima had confused looks on your faces. “Well he passed out from exhaustion, which I usually see with that foolish Midoriya boy. This one usually keeps up with himself, something must’ve happened.” She cut herself off as she saw the look on your face that said it all. She beckons Kirishima to follow her out, as he still wasn’t getting what was happening.

You finally got a good look at him, and saw just how exhausted he looked. The bags under his eyes, his bruised body, and how pained he looked in his sleep. You hugged the non-bruised part of his arm, and finally let the tears you held let go. “I’m sorry Katsuki...I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner.” Before you realized he woke up, he placed his free hand on your head, rubbing small and soothing circles on your head. “S’okay, let’s make this work.” You knew you didn’t have to say anything else as you both stayed like that until Recovery Girl came in to kick you both out.

After you start dating again:

Comes to your dorm everyday to get you up knowing you’d oversleep if he didn’t (also wants to see your sleeping face...not in a weird way)

Cooks you breakfast in bed on off days,

You guys cook something together when you have a movie night

Instead of yelling most times, he just makes sure he understands your side of everything before jumping to conclusions

Makes sure he isn’t too rough with you verbally (lol not sure physically)

Brings you to his parents house during some free time since you get along with his mom and dad well

Won’t admit it but adores the fact that his parents love you

Whispers ‘I love you’ when he’s made sure your ‘sleeping’ (you’re not, you just wanna hear him say it all shy like)

You guys go on training dates, where you both train together, then have a picnic where you just trained

Him being more open with PDA, like holding your hand, or laying his head on your shoulder, etc. just small stuff

He loves playing with your hair and twisting it around his fingers while cuddling or studying

You both cheer on your favorite hero during a fight on TV, or you pick a random channel on TV and you just listen to him rant how stupid something is while you lean onto his shoulder at 2am (somehow got him to stay up this late)

If it’s a permanent breakup:

“No...no...you can’t, you can’t be serious”

He sounded so broken. His fists clutched so hard you thought his bones would pop out

Anger was evident in his face, and he honestly scared you with the face he was making

“Y/N....are you joking?” You frown and step back a little, did he really think everything you said was a joke? “No Bakugo, I just think this isnt gonna work out in the end.” You heard him click his tongue, then just look at you in shock, then anger. He looked down, his bangs covering his expression. “So you’re just gonna end it like that? No working anything out, just break up? It was one fucking mistake Y/N.”

“Yeah one big mistake, you don’t suck faces with some other person on accident, Bakugo.” The venom in your voice slicing through the tension filled air. “Can you just fucking forgive me? I won’t do it again.”

“You said that last time, Katsuki, then you go and clown off again-“

Before you could get anything else out Bakugo already had his quirk going in one hand, and the other holding your shoulder down. You both looked surprised, even as he backed away. “No..nononono fuck Y/N baby I’m sorry-” you smacked the hand that reached out for you. You started packing everything, Bakugo’s eyes widened as he just stood in shock. Before he knew it you were leaving already.

“N...NO NO Y/N PLEASE, I’M SORRY-“ he grabbed you by the arm that reached for the door knob. You quickly shrugged him out of his grasp, and opened the door. “Goodbye Bakugo, I hope well for the next person with you.” And you slammed it in his face. He stood there, it’s like the emotions he felt before were completely wiped when you slammed the door on him. It was 8:03pm, he should start getting ready for bed anyway.

For a few weeks he was unresponsive, and only talked when he needed to

His movements were sluggish and he’d often stare at nothing

Bakugo didn’t even glare, or really do anything when Midoriya tried talking him

Or shittyhair, dunce face, raccoon eyes, or soy sauce face

They were all the same, and just molded into one voice every time someone tried talking to him

After a while he got over it, but he still regrets what he did

You helped him through so much yet he went off and did stupid shit

Even after highschool, he’d still keep up on you frequently through social media

Basically stalking you on there, guessing he never truly got over it once he felt tears subconsciously stream down his face as he saw you with someone else, happier.

He felt like he didn’t do anything wrong, and he was confused at the throb in his heart every time you looked away from him or ignored him.

So he did ask you, and all you did was look at him like he just hit you.

Why did you look so hurt?

Todoroki shrugged it off, thinking you’d come back like you did after every fight you guys had

But you didn’t, and that’s what took an actual toll on him

More emotional

A permanent frown on his pretty features most of the time

All he mostly eats is soba

He didn’t know how to handle this in all honesty

Sometimes he’d just stare at you, and even when you looked back he’d just stare...

Sometimes he’s so out of it he doesn’t realize he’s either froze the entire classroom or was a living breathing radiator, or both (rip Momo, Satou, and Tokoyami)

He’d ask Midoryia for help but it came out as a fumbled mess most of the time:

“Midoryia...how do you hurt....them, a lot...without...? Can you help?

Midoryia is just like:

(Sorry I had to add that in I was cackling sm from it)

“I think you should just talk to them Todoroki.”

That was harder to do then he expected, you mangaged to avoid him pretty well,

One day he was just fed up and as soon as the bell rang he took your hand and left the class

He takes you to an empty classroom, his left side nearly giving you frostbite

You were about to yell at him before you saw his broken expression

“What...what did I do for it to be like this?” You we’re now quiet as you saw the confused and hurt expression on his face. Him barely being able to control either of his quirks, he was shaking, yet still held a confused expression. It just clicked with you, Todoroki wasn’t used to the sudden emotions or feelings, and when one of the people he’d usually go to to talk about it wasn’t there, he started to crumble.

You hugged him tightly , not caring if his quirks messed up your uniform. “I’m sorry Y/N....I’m sorry I’m not enough, but-“ You cover his mouth as tears fell from your eyes and onto the ground or his uniform. “I- I-I’m so sorry Todo...it’s just you never gave me affection and I was being so selfish and petty about it, I just- I didn’t realize that you went through your own experience for it to turn out like this. It’s not your fault, and I love you the way you are Shoto.” Todoroki didn’t even notice the tears come down his face as you kissed him over and over again. A small ‘I’m sorry’ from you every time. His quirks calmed down and now you were holding each other in a random classroom. You’re heart nearly stopped as you looked up at him and saw a small, teary eyed smile.

After you start Dating again:

Todoroki was much more observant

He’d stay up late readings articles saying “How to understand emotions” or “Is there other good food then Cold Soba” wait-

Regularly gets you gifts, even though most of the time you make him return the stuff since he’s been getting so much with his dads card

Endeavor ended up yelling at you both in a 7/11 while you were stuffing your faces with a soba flavored chips

You both figured out a way to get Todoroki to express himself without words

He’d slightly activate his left side if he wanted any sort of attention, and his right side was if he was feeling stressed or upset

He subconsciously goes to your dorm now to check up on you to make sure you’ve had a glass of water, dinner or anything really (He just wanted a reason to go to your dorm)

You played with his hair once, and he’s never going back

When cuddling he’d lay his head in the crook of your neck, hoping to feel you playing with his hair

You push him to start taking therapy sessions to understand what emotions he’s feeling and how to express them

Takes you in your free time to an empty field just to hear you talk, and learn more about you

And he’d always wake up early and made sure to get a few snacks for you before you woke up and brought them to your dorm room (Last time he tried to cook he almost burned the kitchen down)

Overall Todoroki just loves giving you small head pats now, you don’t know where it came from but you didn’t complain

Poor bby stuttered so hard the first time he said ‘I love you’ you giggled

Ended up making him feel embarrassed and like he did something wrong, but you quickly kissed him/praised him

He can’t stop saying it now, one time you picked up his pencil, before you could hand it to him just a sudden “I love you Y/N” the entire class looked at you both in shock

“STOP SUCKING FACES OVER THERE!”

“SHUT UP BAKUGO”

“HAAAH?”

Todoroki is the happiest he’s been.

If it’s a permanent breakup:

“Over? What do you mean we’re over?”

You felt so horrible by the the pure confusion on his face

But the rude things he said to you, over powering your want to get back with him

Lately Todoroki has been more protective, and rude. Insulting everything you do, belittling you slightly. It just added up and you were tired of it

Todoroki tilted his head to the side, deep in thought.

“Y/N your being on the dumber side again, are you hanging out with them too much?” You were taken aback by how nonchalantly he insulted you and your friends. “Excuse me? Todoroki did I hear you right?” You stepped foward leaning your head toward him. “Of course you can, or did Bakugo’s yelling make you not hear so well?” The fact he said it with no emotion, or nothing to it was making you clench your fist. “The hell has gotten into you Todoroki?” You shove his shoulder a bit. He frowned at you heavily making you flinch. “Well if you didn’t go and ignore me most of this week maybe I wouldn’t be like this. I usually hold my tongue but you’ve been rude this entire week.”

You stood there speechless. “Well Ex-fucking-cuse me Shoto. Maybe if you didn’t insult me all the damn time I wouldn’t ignore you, or wait for an decent apology.”

You drag out the last words as you glared at him, Todoroki giving one back. “I’m only telling the truth so you don’t look dumb. I’m helping you out Y/N, I thought you’d understand.” You scoff in utter shock, you couldn’t help the sudden urge to slap some sense into him. Now he stood speechless, the force in that slap causing his hair to look messy, and a red mark on his cheek. Tears were in your eyes as you clenched your fist, biting your lip from cussing him out on the spot. “Your lucky I don’t beat your sorry ass, just...just the the fuck out Todoroki!” You pushed him toward the door. He looked at you with no emotion in his face as he saw you start to bawl your eyes out. “Just...just get the hell out Todoroki, it’s over, we’re over.” He felt a pang in his heart, but choose to ignore it and just left.

It only actually came to him during the night as he was about to walk to your dorm after a nightmare, when he realized the entire conversation

He tried knocking on your door but you didn’t answer, even though he could hear your music

He went back to his dorm, sat on his bed and just had a full mental breakdown

Realizing his main emotional support that helped him through mostly everything was gone

He felt he said stuff his father said to you already which made it even worse

He tried texting and calling you but you had him blocked on everything

He repeated the entire conversation in his head, just now coming to how disgusting he really did sound

Todoroki for that whole week was an emotional wreck

During hero training if he was thinking about you or what he did he doesn’t notice poor Satou trying to get out of his wall of Ice.

Is always with Midoryia at some given time,

He kind of clinged onto people in his circle that gave him attention of some sort

When he some time passed he eventually got over it

After Highschool you both kept in touch, but it pained him when he saw you engaged and happy with another person

But he was happy if you were happy.

Heyyy so this is probably the longest thing I’ve written since like my last Wattpad fanfics I used to do(yikes). But hope you enjoy, and don’t be afraid to request! I’m taking them now so go wild.

Sorry that they were all confusing it’s my first hcs+scenario thingy, but I have a few other things in the works so... 💃🕺

[nice-kill-tanaka]

May I have a my hero and ohshc matchup plz

I'm a short girl around 5'2 with long brown hair and eyes and a leo. I like anime,dragons,reptiles,drawing but I'm not good,tarantulas,sweets,video games, memes,dark humor. I am very kind but I care more about others than I do myself. I have bad anxiety. I tend to overthink about everything. I love to sing especially country music but I am tone deaf. I have trouble standing up for myself because I was bullied alot. I can be very blunt. I also love to swear. I can be very loud. I love a good mystery and cop shows. I love dad jokes and puns.I am terrified of bees and heights. I am very lazy but I can be good at doing stuff if motivated. I have a very kind heart and sad stories or ones with very happy endings make my heart happy or hurt like crazy. But even though I'm kind that doesn't mean i am nice all the time. I am extremely grumpy and have a short temper especially on no sleep or if I just woke up. I also do have adhd and some anxiety I dont like being touched randomly unless I know it will happen or if I touch someone. As for dreams I'm not sure I wanna be a voice actor but not too sure if its right for me as I don't know how to edit or even have the equipment. I want someone who can just listen to me as I ramble on about things I love. I want someone to understand that I think differently then normal people. I also want someone to be able to understand im not the most affectionate person but I can be if given time but I will help someone if they are touch starved like I am.

[🌄 @cutelittleriot requested one (1) regular My Hero Academia matchup. I have just the ingredients for that! Sit tight while I get to work.🌌]

YAYYY!! First bnha matchup!! I gotchu bud 👍 I’m thinking about trying something new for the bnha fandom in particular. So, I’ll try it out and see what you think! Also, I got a little carried away with this one, so if it doesn’t seem characteristically accurate to you, please tell me!! 😖

And, the lucky person is:

⛰Eijiro Kirishima⛰

Quirk: Dragon

Dragon is a mutation quirk. It manifests slowly over time, until the user becomes about 60% dragon-esque at around 15/16 years old.

Scales and tough skin appear on the arms, legs, and face. Sharp teeth and claws grow in. Horns protrude from the forehead. A tail grows from the spine. Finally, wings grow from the back.

Flesh becomes twice as tough in places where scales are.

Depending on the user’s body type, wing usage is limited. (Since you’re generally shorter than average, “flying” and gliding comes easier to you.)

When the user consumes pressurized carbon dioxide, their stomach converts it into flammable gasses. Which allows the user to breathe- er...burp...fire.

Fire must be carefully used however. The smoke produced can accidentally be breathed in, causing lung damage.

🌱Humble Beginnings🌱

I’ll start by saying this: Being bullied is never fun. Being bullied over something you can’t easily control or change? Rub salt in it, why don’tcha?

You weren’t sure what the select few kids in your grade thought was so hilarious about your quirk. But, they managed to find enough wrong with it to do their damage for most of your time in school

First, the patches of scales that showed up on your skin were “too weak”. Then, your awkward transition stage with growing horns, wings, and tail was suddenly “ugly”

By the time your quirk fully manifested, the jeers finally devolved to “freak-ish”

Like a river carving out the Grand Canyon, the work was slow and wore you down over time. But, the impact was a lot bigger than even you’d initially thought

While you managed to somewhat heal and learned to guard your emotions against such hurtful things, that’s all you learned to do: Guard yourself. You were a shield with no spear, since you never fought back

With the help of supportive parents and teachers, your self-esteem wasn’t so low, but you did often downplay or underestimate your abilities

Like, Bitch??? You can burp fire??? Know your power???

The people you were on good terms with seemed to see a potential that you either disregarded, or didn't know about all together

They saw the way you treated others with consideration and forethought. How, despite (or because of) your anxiety, you remained hyper-aware of the problems of others and how to accommodate. And while your anger did have its vices, people knew how hot your righteous rage could burn

It actually took a lot of convincing for you to even apply to U.A. 

Outside of your other aspirations for the future, you didn’t particularly feel worthy for the job. Of anything you could be, you weren’t a fearless, upstanding, unshakable individual, not even giving a second thought to throwing yourself into danger for the good of others. You weren’t your alleged definition of a hero, and that was enough to deter you

But, whenever you recited your polite (well-rehearsed) decline, most gave you the same weirdly optimistic retort:

“Just try, maybe you’ll do better than you’re giving yourself credit for.”

So, here you were at an entrance exam full of people you hardly knew, wondering how you even rationalized to yourself that this would go just fine

The written exam went okay. As well as you could for literally guessing what to study to pass

All you had to do was do your best on the physical exam, and you’d be done for the day

But, your issue was in the people around you, not the exam itself

You were aware of the high amount of attention the moment you walked onto campus. The way other kids measured you up from a distance, studying everything about your not-so-human body. Watching your every move, especially the way your movements were strained from soreness (A short period of intense training tends to do that to you). You assumed they also wanted to see if your disposition was as powerful as your quirk suggested

((You specifically noticed a coltish, green-haired kid muttering to himself, questioning if your wings could actually support your body weight))

Even now, as the prospective heroes-in-training warmed up, you felt the stares burning into you

Half of you wanted to lift your eyes and rhetorically ask what the hell they were looking at, only feeling more annoyed as you snorted and returned to what you were doing. The other half wanted to fold into yourself until you disappeared (If only it were that easy)

But, you had enough (Roughly, one billion) worries on your mind to put confrontation on the list. Shaking off your anxious shivers as you lowered your head and continued with your “stretches” seemed so much easier

(A.k.a. Staring off into space as you held your limbs in awkward positions)

The time to begin the physical test was drawing near, and your self-doubt hadn’t eased up. Maybe this was a mistake. You didn’t belong here. Not when so many other students could fill the space you’re wasting so much better. Maybe if you slipped through the back now, you’d save yourself the disappointment of not living up to your own standards

“Hey, brown-haired girl! With the horns!”

You heard a gruff whisper from not to far behind you, from the left. You tensed for a moment, wondering what the voice could possibly want from you. But, the sight you saw was rather unexpected

The voice definitely matched the body, bulky and slightly rough looking, a little taller than you. Matched with a sweet face, sharp teeth, and bright, spiky, red hair. The smile he showed you instantly calmed your thoughts

“…Hm?”

You gave a short response, not wanting to jump to conclusions yet

“I saw you looking kinda psyched out over here, so I thought talking to you would make you less nervous!”

You felt a warm and fuzzy sensation in the pit of your stomach. As much encouragement as you got to achieve things, you didn’t see much of it to consider how you felt. How you could feel better. You liked it, which was surprising, considering the encouragement came from a perfect stranger

“Oh, uhh…thanks then. But, I’m fine, I promise! I’m no more nervous than you are.”

“Well, that’s also why I came to talk…I’m kinda freaking out too…”

This boy’s transparency was almost scary, but on the other hand, very comforting. You didn’t catch him trying to stare at your mutated parts once as you talked. Your eyes were the thing he seemed the most focused on, and while it made you embarrassed, it was the good kind (if that makes sense)

But, soon enough, the announcement for the beginning of the exam came over the loudspeaker, and you and your acquaintance had to look out for yourselves. But, before you parted ways, the redhead turned to you

“I’m Eijiro Kirishima, by the way! See you when I see you, Shortie!”

🌳Flourishing Love🌳

The beginning of Kirishima seeing you as a romantic option happened not too long after parting ways at the physical exam

He was almost completely cornered by one of the machines students could disarm for points. And just as that was happening, you had just turned the corner after shaking off another one

You saw Kirishima, but he definitely didn’t see you, trying hard to look tough, but struggling to stand his ground

It quickly dawned on you that Kirishima didn’t have a quirk that could easily deal with the hostile device. And if he did, he was too scared to use it

You vetoed the idea of charging in head on first. You didn’t feel like getting yourself or Kirishima hurt. Especially without a plan. You needed to be smart about getting your only acquaintance out of this situation

Your heart raced and your execution was all but clean, but you ended up using your fire breath to weld the robot’s wheels to the concrete

Before you let your inhibitions get the better of you, you climbed the machine and punched out the camera on the front. From atop the beast, you hung your tail over the edge low enough for Kirishima to grab. You didn’t dare look down at the ground

“Dammit Eijiro, grab on!!”

Once you felt a weight on your tail, you used your wings to propel you both forward. Obviously, away from the robot

You were too high on adrenaline and fear to notice, but Kirishima stared at you like you were the embodiment of Heaven on Earth. The stars in his eyes almost seemed inappropriate for the situation 😅

You looked just as—if not more—afraid than he was. But, you seemed so okay with the fact that you weren’t fearless, and acted like a true hero anyway. He admired, dare I say loved that about you

And he didn’t even know your name

As soon as you found out that you and Kirishima were in the same class, you felt instant relief. At least you were familiar with someone at U.A.

You guys’ friendship developed rather fast, like and extrovert adopting an introvert

Kirishima quickly noticed how fast you opened up once you got comfortable around him, and loved you all the more for how bright and vibrant the unfiltered you was

He found himself picking up on your sense of humor, telling dad jokes you whisper under your breath to the Bakusquad (Much to Bakugou’s dismay 😅)

Don’t worry, he always gives you the credit 😉

As time went on, Kirishima learned to appreciate how blunt you were. He realized that he needed someone to tell it like it is (“It isn’t manly to sugarcoat things! 😤” he says)

And while Kirishima prefers physical activities over video games, he loves to hype you up while you play before classes

It was only natural a mutual crush would form :D

Kirishima finally worked up the guts to ask you out after the U.S.J. Incident

You and him had gotten separated (You had gotten trapped with the cold son of Endeavor. And you both took out the villains with an awe-inspiring display of fire and ice)

Kirishima was faced with the reality that either of you could lose each other at any moment. And while both of you came out alright, he realized he couldn’t be wishy-washy about his feelings for you

He told you on your way to school the next morning:

“Look. What happened yesterday really scared me. Normally, I wouldn’t say that, but I think you deserve to know. Because…you mean a lot to me!! More than I can put into words. I love when we have fun together, and I don’t know what I’d do with myself if I never got to tell you how I felt…”

“Basically…I like you!! Like…in the romantic way…”

Your early morning grumpiness dissipated almost instantly, replaced by momentary confusion and disbelief, then embarrassment and joy. Was this really happening…? The boy that took a chance on you since the beginning, confessed that he had feelings for you…? Even though you didn’t question your relationship, you always assumed the nice things Kirishima said, the way he looked at you, was all part of the pleasantries. You questioned if you were even worth all of that

‘But you are.’ The little voice Kirishima helped you develop said. ‘And he would say more if he didn’t look so embarrassed.’

And so, you accepted Kirishima’s confession. And he saw the sweetest smile you had ever given him since the first time he complimented your puns 😊❤️

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

[🌌 There you go bud! That’s one matchup for the road. Hopefully it lasts for a while, but if it doesn’t, feel free to come back! I’d be thrilled to see you again.🌄] —Reagan

[jazajas]

okay so i finished love, victor a while ago and i saw some other reviews and thoughts about it here so now i've got a pretty good list on my thoughts and feelings.

tl;dr: it has some issues, yes, but im gonna hold out and hope it gets better later on because the same thing happened with the first few eps, i wasn't that into it but then it got good, and nothing is ever great with the first season, because at that point we're getting used to those characters.

⚠️caution: spoilers ahead (im on mobile, i cant get an under-the-cut)⚠️

1. while a leah on the offbeat movie would have been amazing movie sequel (even tho i havent read the book yet, im just here for the wlw content) i am kind of glad we got this instead. mostly because I've seen book series where one movie was good, so they decide to do the rest, turn out bad (hunger games? divergent? percy jackson? the hobbit?) because so much was cut from the book-to-first movie writing, that other scenes wouldn't make sense to future movies if they had those in while cutting others. however, i am sad that i didn't get to make the choice of deciding whether what was cut was wrong etc. about future movies, but i'll take what i can get.

2. LGBTQ+ POC as a lead! that's amazing! as a ace/bi lantina that's close to home (it also is great that victor's from texas and so is ya gorl) and even then it's a mixed latinx family! i think pilar mentioned that at least the grandmother left Colombia and i saw the Puerto Rican flag in victor's room. also the salazar's are definitely from small town texas, even without knowing the name. (church barbeques, the use of the words "such a diverse city" in regards to atlanta)

3. a lack of actual lgbtq+ main storylines (so far) is kind of sad for a show like this. i was getting serious bi/pan vibes (as a lot of other people) from victor from the beginning, and when it was implied that victor was actually gay (while great, not shaming) as it has been brought to my attention, there was a lot of looking at a lot of straight relationship problems (please let us know more about benji)- edit 6/18: upon further consideration, it very much is a show about questioning your sexuality, I'm speaking about the other straight relationship issues, not mia and Victor's, its just the first season.

4. let us talk about cheating for a sec. never okay, in any circumstance. i feel sorry for mia that she saw victor making out with benji and the fact that he was doing any of that in the first place. victor made a choice to lie about the espresso machine and then kissed benji at the hotel and then when benji was fighting with derek, basically confessed his love and mistakes, then proceeded to makeout with benji after he broke up with derek, he built that grave and now he must lie in it. i get having feelings for a guy when you are in a relationship with a girl, and not accepting yourself enough to end that relationship but you really want it to work so you can be "normal". really, he should have told mia after he got back from the trip tho. i get being in highschool and doing stupid stuff and making dumb decisions, but for a show aimed at teens i think we should also remind said teens to make good choices even if we have to lose some realism within the character choices.

4. pilar and her decisions based off her brother pissed me off. because i honestly think that if she'd kept her mouth shut about what she knew or confronted victor about it in the first place we could have avoided a LOT of mess. did she not learn from snooping around her mother's business about her relationships that going behind a person's back doesnt end well? i did, however, like the pilar/felix friendship and was really kind of hoping that they'd get together during their coffee hangout (although now im glad that didn't happen) because they had a deeper understanding of each other. same with wendy/felix, although they do seem to much alike to work out in the long run but i still feel bad for wendy.

5. i don't know how i feel about lake and andrew, as people separate from each other. both seem to be the way they are from their upbringing (not confirmed why andrew is such an ass, but if his comment about his dad is anything to go by i bet it's got something to do with attention) but andrew seems to be less, idk, superficial? like he turned down mia because he didn't want to be a rebound, he didn't out victor, he actually stood up to early teasing the other dudes in the lockerroom were doing at victor (with teasing of his own obviously but that interaction had him on my nice list until much later). lake? lake. i honestly don't have an opinion of her? not really. i mean after hanging out with pilar i was hoping felix wouldn't go back to lake. is her name laken? i feel like her full name is laken. but they also played the "im only like this because my mom is really superficial about stuff and i do like the geeky nice guy but appearances" to "actually screw the norms im gonna makeout with him infront of the whole student body". i honestly thought she was gonna be bi because she kept hitting on mia when she was helping set up for her "date" and "big night" and there was one point where i saw her face fall at something mia said in relation to her and idk i was hoping she'd be bi (i figured early on that victor/mia wasnt gonna work and was like "oh mia/lake would be cute" but now idk.

6. okay on to the "big night", i have one word. NO. i didn't like the peer pressure into having sex. i agreed with felix when he said "your body your choice" but im also disappointed that victor made out with mia and when lake was talking to felix after victor left he didn't try to stand up for victor.

7. on to age gaps because i hadn't really thought of this at first. we'll start with benji/derek: WHAT GRADE IS BENJI?! because that determines my thoughts. if he's a sophomore that meant that he and Derek started dating benji's freshman year and thats eugh, don't do that, don't care if its a gay couple that shouldn't be happening because the maturity of the two characters is DRASTICALLY different (this is also a reason i am not a fan of cmbyn) but that would explain why they were so rocky. hoping the event at the gay bar was open to anyone not just for drinking, but not liking that fact that not one of the adults with victor were like: hey, this is a 16 year old, that's kind of wack when that dude was hitting on victor. that made me question some stuff. although i figure it might be making up for the lack of a gay bar scene in love, simon. but even then, in svthsa it's a restaurant with a bar that some people go to just to drink at, it wasn't just a bar, simon could be there but should NOT have accepted drinks from college kids, not matter how attractive.

8. i loved how bram and simon and their friends helped victor out though. i like how bram was like: hey i know my friends are a lot so here's a gay basketball league becaue there's no one way to be gay. i like how Simon talked about needing help himself just to help victor and how he said his friends were cool with it because it's a community. i like of justin(?) mentioned how being what his parents wanted was putting on a mask and pretending, not him doing drag. my favorite lines from that ep are: "and before you ask my pronouns are they/them/theirs" "'they're all gay? even that guy? he's like [insert really tall number]' 'yeah. you should see him in heels'" "or in simon's case: really unathletic" "and also because bram said that if i wore [the jean jacket] one more time he'd burn it". also katya was there. and the group hug too!

9. the back hand homophobia in relation to family is sad, but realistic and i sincerely hope his parents are kind enough not to be too harsh on victor because of it. anything they say that isn't positive or supportive of victor is bad but i hope they realize that there is more to him than that and that they can come to terms with it because it's not always that hard to be a part of that community and super religious. i am biromantic and catholic. and while there are some things i wont agree on my mom with, i know that it's more of a strike against God for kicking out gay kids from families than it is to be gay, because those parents were given trust by GOD to love those kids no matter what, and be good parents. so in the end, the parents are wrong and harmful and in the case of christians against jesus's teachings to love everyone.

10. this is fan speculation but dont think simon/bram are going through a rough patch? i honestly think it'd be a little cruel to the characters to have on of their actors be producing but then not have that relationship stay. and while it's not set in stone and obviously things happen in the real world, we have no proof script wise about there being a rift. all we have are bad photoshopped ig photos and scenes where two characters are never standing next to each other probably beccaue schedules never link up correctly for minor characters. who knows, maybe nick robinson was filming for a movie where is does have an even more major role than victor's gay guru in a series about victor so his filming time was around that. im gonna keep hope that things are okay.

11. that being said: we need more mainstream wlw content, because someone said it earlier and it really does seem to be catering to straight girls. i'll admit i did freak out when benji played call me maybe which is something i associated with him and victor but then kissed a guy because who wouldn't? we get that serenade and sweetness and then it'a ripped from us. but i did mellow out. if i flipped later it was because victor was making dumb decisions and i had to give myself a moment of compsure before i continued.

in the end, i'd say that there is a lot of growth this series needs to go through, but i also know that some people just aren't going to like it and i get that. but i also know that sometimes the best of stories have rocky starts, nothing is ever perfect from the beginning. and besides, further seasons are on hold until we figure out this covid thing, which means that you bet they're gonna be looking at our feedback. they saw what we thought before, they can do it again

i really did like it but we need more ACTUAL lgbtq+ relationship stuff from this series and better decisions on what we are teaching the younger generations, as well as what we want to focus on and realism within characters. i'm giving it an 8/10, because there is always room for growth and i really hope we get better things out of this than what we have been given in season 2.

edit: someone mentioned it really seeming like it was meant for Disney+ and i felt that. also to anyone who reaches the tags agter reading ALL OF THIS: i am sorry

[irenicjae]

.

[moons-and-stars-and-shit]

Hii! May i ask for a slice of cake? (If you can ofc)

So im a INFP-T virgo im also 4"11 i have dark brown hair it because wayy lighter near the sun. Also dark brown eyes my hair is cut kinda like a shag like the front is cut but the back isn't (bc of my parents) my style is grunge ig? Im very inlove with fairy style Smm but because im broke i cant really fulfil my love for that style (also probably because of my parents). My body is???? Okay my boobies are medium size and no unfortunately I don't have a fat ass 😕 im not chubby but at the same time im not skinny. Like the most fat goes to my tummy I get rolls when I sit down bath blah you get my point (im pretty insecure about it lolol). One of my two main dreams is to study abroad and become an interior decorator.

I dont know how to describe my personality but I will try. My best friend always tells me that my sense of humour is downhill BAD. I would laugh at the dumbest shit ever for example i laughed one of those pixilated bugs pics with random names on the bottom 💀 also I laugh at my own trauma and stuff that shouldn't be laughed at. I kinda have anger issues 😕 I get unmotivated pretty easily. I rant to my best friend alot and she says that im ✨depressed✨ and have ✨anxiety✨ and that i need therapy. Im scared to rant to my parents because im "too young and its just my hormones". Something that I found out about myself this year is i have chill tics 😦 (from anxiety). Outside im nice and sweet but on the inside my mind is just saying other things. Im SOMETIMES cold and say what's on my mind but thats to my close ones like my mom dad or friends. I dont lie going Outside alot I think school is kinda useless. I like to draw and listen to music my fav artist are mother mother and mitski.

I hope i didn't say TOO much anyway thank youu I hope you have/had a great day :)

🍰 for @shotosimp2

Romantic Matchup

Oikawa Tooru

How yall met

Ok im ngl

Y'all had know clue who each other were

Well that's a lie

Of course you knew who Oikawa was

But you just didn't care

Now Oikawa always saw you around school

You know...in the school uniform

But one day

He saw you outside of school in all of your grunge glory

And apart of him was like bitch wtf

And the other was like ok queen i see you 😗

So he approached you and complimented your outfit

And you said thanks and then ran off to wherever you were heading

Wait

You just said thanks???

No fan girling????

Not even a blush??????

Nothing????????????

OIKAWA.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING

Ok he would understand that reaction if you were just a stranger on the street

But you went to school with him?

So you had to know who he was right?

Yeah my mans had a whole ass crisis because you didn't have a bigger reaction

The next day he went to Iwa and told him about his interaction with you

And he was just like not everyone was to like you ya know

Oikawa: >:o

Then Iwa had a brilliant idea

Get this

Maybe

Oikawa should BEFRIEND you before expecting you to want to talk to him

Wild theory I know

So now Oikawa had a new goal

Befriending you

It actually wasn't that hard since you both had a lot of classes together

Soon enough you guys became close friends

And oikawa was happy with just being your friend

At least...he thought he was

But everything changed when you told him you were going to study abroad for 3 months

And even though you had each others numbers

Everything without you just seemed so dull

Omg

Did he really have feelings for you?

The more time that passed by the more he was sure that he liked you

Like LIKED liked you

So the day you came back to Japan is when he confessed to you

And well you'd be lying if you said you hadn't caught feelings for him too

So you said yes

What they love about you

He loves how normal you treat him

Now hell admit when he first met you he kinda wanted you to treat him like a celebrity

Expected it even

But the more time he spent around you

The more he realized how much he liked being treated normally

Ok screw what your friend says

He loves your humor!

Yall will laugh at the dumbest shit

If we were to look at you and Oikawa's messages

85% of it would be dumb ass memes

And honestly

This boy makes jokes about his trauma too

“Hey Y/N you wanna hear a joke?”

“Sure”

“My existence”

“...”

“...”

“Ayyyyy”

“Ayyyyy”

He loves how easy it is to talk to you

Like he's told you things he hasn't even told Iwa before

And Iwa is his CHILDHOOD BESTIE

So yeah

Trust between you two

ASTRONOMICAL

What you love about them

You love how supportive he is

If you say you wanna do something

He is right behind you cheering you on

You could tell him you want to commit arson

And he'd just be like

Period queen ill bring the gasoline 💅

You can always count on this man to be in your corner

Speaking of

You can always count on oikawa period

Which is another thing that you love about him

If oikawa is anything

He is a man of his word

If he says hes gonna do something

You know he's gonna do it

He's just overall a really reliable person

You love how he just seems to motivate you to do better

Fr after you guys started dating your grades went

Partly because you felt like you needed to compete with him

But mostly because he just motivates and pushes you to do better

And if you do improve on something

He is HYPING you up

“That's my baby! I knew you could do it!”

Favorite things to do together

Yall love to just go to the store and window shop

Im sorry but yall are some broke hoes

So most of the time it's just you guys trying on clothes in the dressing room

Taking pictures of your outfits

Then leaving

Yeah the store employees kinda hate you…

But who cares what they think

And if you two do have some pocket cash you'll buy one or two things

Then blow the rest of your money on that good mall food

Cause why not

Random Hc

He makes fun of your guys height difference ALL THE TIME

But like, can you blame him????

You're not even 5 feet tall!!!

“Imagine being the size of a 10 year old, couldn't be me”

Imagine being taller than the national average height 😐, couldn't be me”

“Touche”

He let you dress him up as an E-Boy ONCE

Ngl tho he dug the eyeliner look 😗

He called you every day while you were studying abroad

He even sent you a oikawa plushie

You may or may not have sent him a video of you drowning it

When you came back to Japan he legit TACKLED you in the middle of the airport

Astrology

Virgo + Cancer

Compatibility 80%

Cancer and Virgo can have a wonderful connection and are usually brought together by sexual understanding.

The main problem of their relationship is in the possible conflict between emotional Cancer and reasonable Virgo.

If they manage to overcome this, accepting each other’s shortcomings and learning to incorporate some rationality or some emotion into their lives, they could end up in an inspiring relationship that will last for a very long time.

In a way, they complement each other as much as the heart complements the mind.

If they share a spark of love, it would be a shame to miss the opportunity for happiness just because of someone’s irrational expectations or someone’s closed heart.

If someone can help Virgo build their trust, it is their Cancer partner.

Although Cancer is a cardinal sign, they are stable by nature, especially when it comes to emotional decisions they have made.

If they have chosen Virgo to be their loving partner, they will have no reason to lie or cheat.

This behavior would only endanger their vision of a shared life and a loving family they want with the partner they chose.

This is also a reason why Cancer won’t have an initial problem with trusting Virgo.

Their convictions are stronger than their doubt.

Overall Aesthetic

Grunge Glamour ✨

Songs -

Tia tamera (Doja Cat)

Verbratem (mother mother

Literal Legend (Ayesha Erotica)

Hayloft (mother mother)

Stupid (ashnikko)

[h0neyjaehyun]

Get to know me game

Tagged by @ggukkiedae, @junicai

Tagging : dude idk probably no one

Birthday : Feburary 3rd im not saying year tho :>

Favorite color : lavender and coral

Lucky number : i think 3 and 7

Do you have any pets? : uh no sadly i cant

How tall are you?: im 5'1 ft / 154cm (yes i looked it up)

How many pair of shoes you own? : 6??? I think maybe 7??

Favorite song : I have a bunch but the one on repeat is Deja Vu by Olivia Rodrigo, im inlove with that song.

Favorite movie : TANGLED I LOVE THAT MOVIE

Who would be your ideal partner? : oh...idk?? Someone who understand personal space and can take a joke i guess?? I can be very mean 😅

Do you want children : personally no? Idk im not really good at approaching kids i think i wouldn't do so well.....im good at taking care of them tho...does that make sense??

Have you been in trouble with the police : uh no??? I barley go outside T~T

Bath or shower : definitely shower all the way

What colors socks you wearing? : black and purple

Favorite type of music : oh...idk literally idk

How many pillows do you sleep with : i sleep with 2...and some stuff animals...so 9????

What position do you sleep in : oh whatever is comfortable at the moment, but mostly on my side

What dont you like about sleeping : i ALWAYS have to have something on me aka a blanket, and some type of sound or music

What do you have for breakfast : ....nothing i skip breakfast cause im lazy

Have you tried archery : no BUT I WANNA

Favorite fruit : uh i have a couple, apples, mandarins, grapes, mangos, pomegranates...i think thats it

Favorite swear word : definitely fuck and is damn a bad word???? Also bitch....for my friends ❤❤, and cabron which means bastard in english 🥰

Do you have scars : ye

Are you a good liar : idk i dont lie much....but i think i am

Your favorite type of girl : the ones that befriend you and talk to you a lot when you first meet

Whats your personality type : ISFP-T

Innie or outie : innie :]

Left or right handed : right handed

Favorite food : oh uh ice cream count?? Maybe birria tacos

Favorite foreign food : uh....idk??? What would count as foreign?????

Am i clean or messy : definitely messy hands down unless eating or doing something but room MESSY

Most used phrase : dumbass apparently its to the point my bestfriend can here my voice when she hears it 😅

How long does it take you to get ready : uh my fastest time is 7 minutes but usually like 20 minutes if my outfits already picked out. Or 25 ye

Do you talk to yourself? : yes...it has become a profession

Do you sing to yourself? : sometimes i usually hum

Are you a good singer? : uh actually idk what i think my voice sounds like doesn't sound like it at all :[

Biggest fear : being all alone....i think yeah.

Are you a gossip? : oh i gossip ngl im part of a Mexican family, i surround by gossip 😅

Long or short hair? : oh i like both, long looks pretty but short i can manage it more

Favorite school subject : math i can definitely do math and art too idk about the other ones tho-

Extrovert or introvert : definitely a introvert

What makes you nervous : new people and my ability to speak spanish 😔✋

Who was your first real crush : i dont really have crushes my last crush was all the way back in 2nd grade then he ruined crushes for me -_-

How many piercings : none

How fast can you run : not fast at ALL

What color is your hair : its Black but let me tell you ITS BLACK BRO my mom doesn't want to take me to dye it because it will take multiple sessions T~T

What color are your eyes? : oh hazel

What makes you mad : hypocrites omg they piss me off, people who expect to be respected when the dont deserve/earn it

Do you like your name? : not really i think its so basic

Do you want a boy or a girl as a child : i dont really care as long as i can provide them a good life im fine

What are my strengths : uh...im likable????, im good at arguing....idk what else..dancing??

What are your weaknesses : ah allergies, and TIME MANAGEMENT OMG- also get distracted by any sound

Color of my bed spread : gray/blue/white

Color of my room : blue/teal

[nad-zeta]

Matchup (◍•ᴗ•◍)♡ ✧*。

Hi, can i ask for a ikevamp matchup? I like listening to music, though it can go both ways, my mood affects my music or my music affects my mood. I’m super close with my friends since most of them are my friends for 3+ years, so I’m not that great with new people, though I’m fine with those I’ve met once or twice before. I’m surrounded by close friends and family, so I can be as mischievous and as open as I want to be. I will only be open like that with people I care about, so unless I like someone I will put up a huge wall around them until I feel like I could trust them completely. That being said, I’m pretty strong emotionally, like comforting grieving friends, calming people down without being affected in any way, etc, and people say I give advices that actually works. I’m used to get things on my own, so I can either be a leader or the advisor, which I usually do when I want to be the leader but don’t wanna take responsibility for what I do 😅 and I may know what to do in every situation, but that doesn’t mean I know how to do it 😅

I’m also a lucky charm lol I dont know how but I’m pretty lucky, so my friends often want me on their group for projects and stuff like that or when people open up a new business they will invite me and my mom because somehow people think things go well because I’m around. And an extremely bad habit of mine is that I often take everything lightly, whether it’s getting into a fight or getting failing grades or pulling a huge stunt where me and my whole class working together to skip to get home faster from school (we succeeded every time 👀) maybe it’s because most things in my life have been pretty easy and I feel like I’m always in my comfort zone, and even if I face difficulties, they usually get done on their own so I became pretty optimistic naturally, and because of this people can relax around me since I don’t panic easily, or people get annoyed with me because I don’t take things seriously enough, whether it’s good or bad. And finally, I can have a change of heart EASILY but with a reason. Like, I can think you as the most important person who I care about, but once you betray me or do something I hate, idc I will throw you out of my life. Idc of I’ve known you for years, I can easily act like we’re strangers if l don’t like you anymore, and I usually stand on my ground unless other people convince me otherwise. After years of dealing with so many good and bad things, I have a lot of experience in many types of situations, so I know if something is legit or is it a complete lie. And even if someone usually lies or hides something from me I can understand them whether they give me their reason or not, because I’m understanding and can know the difference whether they blatantly hate me or genuinely can’t tell me about something, which is absolutely fine. I can stay away from you for years and still care for you the next time we meet unless you have a change of heart ❤

I’m sorry if it’s TMI or too little information bc I don’t often send matchup requests 😅 and thank you for doing my matchup if you decide to do this 😊

Hi hi, love! Thank you so much for the request! I hope I didn’t make you wait too long for it! I hope you enjoy it love and I hope you have a wonderful day! Hehe honestly I struggled to figure out who to match you with as at least 3 different people came to mind, but at the end, I finally settled for this special boy! Hope you enjoy it! 

I match you with……….Jean

The two of you don’t meet for a few days the first time you arrive at the mansion. At the news of your arrival, Jean thought it best to lock himself away as he didn’t want to expose such a pure light as yourself, to a monster like himself. He took a liking to you, the first time he saw your radiant smile as he walked into the dining room while you were introducing yourself to everyone. Except you never got a chance to see him, he turned around and went back to his room immediately, however, this didn’t escape the notice of the mansions big brother Napoleon. 

You were rather quiet and reserved, not really engaging all that much with the boys, your walls were on high guard to protect you from potentially getting hurt, besides you were only with the strange group of men for a month and then you had to go back home, so you didn’t want to expose yourself to unnecessary heartbreak. You had however taken a liking to Napoleon who was named your protector after Arthur tried some funny business with you. You worked hard and honestly, Sabastian had been thankful for such a hard-working, diligent colleague

You had been in the Paris of the past for a few weeks now, but haven’t really left the mansion. Comte had invited you to a big lavish ball that one of his friends was throwing and you decided it might be a fun experience. You ran down the mansion stairs expecting to see Napoleon, who was instructed to take you out to town to buy in Comte’s words “a dress fit for a princess,” however instead you saw a beautiful man standing to wait for you. You had heard about Jean but you had yet to meet him and now here he was before you, offering you an arm to escort you to town. You took his arm and the two of you were off to town. Napoleon had already made commitments to teaching the street children, and something inside him told him that you and Jean would really get along, so he stomped his way up to Jean’s room and asked his old friend to escort you to town. He was not keen TBH, but he could never refuse a request from his friend. 

The two of you walked around in silence neither daring to say a word. That, of course, was until you heard some street performers playing the most upbeat music. You followed the sound of the music, Jean trailing slightly behind you, when you came to a stop in front of the performers. You felt like dancing, the music was so uplifting, you just felt like dancing, laughing and soon your mood turned bubbly. The people around you started to dance to the music, you turned to Jean with stars in your eyes, “Jean, would you like to dance.” Honestly, it was more of a rhetorical question as before he could answer, you took his hands and started dancing with him. Jean had been to enough balls and banquets with Comte and Napoleon to know the basics. 

Soon he got into the swing of things and started twirling you around, and gently leading you, cause it was clear that you didn’t really know the traditional dances, being from the future. When the last note echoed through the street, you were laughing in delight, having the time of your life. You looked up at Jean and your breath caught in your throat at the sight of his smile, it was absolutely radiant the way the corners of his mouth lifted softly to show you a gentle smile, and little did you know, no one had seen Jean smile since he arrived at the mansion. You were honestly in the best mood, so for the rest of yours and Jean’s shopping trip you talked his ears off. Jean didn’t know why, but he couldn’t help but listen to every word, all while wearing that soft fond smile. At the end of the day, the second Jean was back at the mansion his smile faded, and he reverted back as if remembering that he was a monster, he kissed your hand, “Good night mademoiselle, and thank you for a wonderful day.” You beamed up at him and thanked him for making the shopping trip so fun, you definitely didn’t miss that slight blush forming on his cheeks as he turned to move back to his room.

Since that day, strangely enough, you and Jean had run into each other quite often, although these run-ins were orchestrated by the former Emporer of France and the Lord of the mansion. Both had noticed a slight change in Jean after he went on that shopping trip with you and both agreed that you may be exactly what he needs.

For example one day you ran up to Arthur’s room as he yelled out in irritation. You burst through the door to see the most unusual scene before you, Arthur scolding a tiger cub. You looked around the room to see the manuscript of his latest chapters shredded on the floor, his curtains had been scratched to pieces, and the cub appeared to have been playing in mud before making his way into Arthurs room, as muddy paw prints covered the entire room. You placed your hand in front of your mouth to stifle a laugh, you never did take things too seriously, “Hey you, don’t you dare laugh, this is my life’s work”. You giggled a little and told Arthur to lighten up, but when Jean appeared behind you also trying to hold in his laughter at the way you never seem to take things too seriously, you burst out laughing. That’s when Jean couldn’t hold it back any longer and also started laughing, Arthur was sister shook he had never even seen Jean smile let alone laugh. You walked over to the tiger cub and scooped him up in your arms, then you walked over to the mysterious man and took his hand in yours. Before Arthur could even say anything, you bolted to the garden all while laughing. 

You and Jean then went on to bath the little tiger cub together, which ended in a bit of a water fight. When you were with Jean, all your walls were down, and your mischievous personality came out to play, especially when you saw this beautiful boy’s smile. By the end of the day, both you and Jean were soaked to the bone, both of you went to bath and retire to your rooms for the night. When all of a sudden you heard a knock at the door, it was Jean. He had brought you a cup of hot tea and thanked you for helping him clean up his tiger’s mess. You invited him into your room, he sat down awkwardly and looked around your room curiously, he legit had never been in a girls room before. It wasn’t long before the two of you started chatting, and soon dawn had broken, and you realized that you and Jean had been talking the whole night.

You never noticed it before, but you and Jean had spent every single day together since then, chatting and laughing about everything and anything. He loved that you seemed to possess all the luck of the universe and that you would always come to his aid when Arthur was beating him at one or other board game. You would legit team up with Jean and let your luck take care of the rest. Thanks to your incredible luck Arthur had lost a bet to you and Jean and now had to wear his underpants over his regular pants for a week. 

Jean was feeling so confused and overwhelmed with all these new feelings, he had never really known love before having met you and all of it felt so new. One day he decided to tell you how he was feeling, you were always so good at giving out advice, and your presence always had the ability to calm all his fears and anxieties. Once he finished telling you about how he had been feeling towards you lately, you gave him the biggest hug, “I love you to Jean.”

Jean loved your naturally optimistic personality and your ability to bring so much joy into even the saddest of moments. You were always there for him, to reassure him whenever he was having panic or anxiety attacks. He absolutely loved and adored you and had sworn his life and loyalty to you. 

He loved that you never took things seriously, as all he did was take things seriously, so it was like a breath of fresh air to have someone around to help him balance his overthinking mind. After the two of you got together, Jean told you everything, from his dark past to the fact that he saw himself as a monster, undeserving of your love. He legit thought that you were going to push him away and leave him but instead, you kissed him and told him how much you loved him. 

You loved that Jean was always open and honest with you and completely loyal to you. He was also your voice of reason when it came to cutting people out your life for wronging you. The two of you balanced each other out perfectly.

Both Comte and Napoleon were overjoyed that Jean finally found someone to open up to and who loved him unconditionally. You helped Jean heal from all his past traumas and made him a better man. 

Jean loved spending time with you, this soft sweet, sensitive boy would shower you with love and affection from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep. He would often surprise you with breakfast in bed, or drop a small chaste kiss on your lips whenever the two of you run into each other in the hallways

The two of you absolutely love just being snuggled up together chatting about your day. Jean loves to hold you in his strong arms and nuzzle into your neck as you sit in his lap and read. Often the two of you can be found in a coffee shop holding hands and reading. On rare occasions, the two of you can also be found pulling pranks on some of the mansion residents as payback for the pranks that they would pull on the two of you. 

Ultimately Jean is most happy when you are resting in his lap after a long day of housework. He would pull his fingers through your soft silky hair and send up a silent prayer to God thanking him for sending him his own lovely guardian angel, to love, hold and cherish for the rest of his life

Other potential matches………… Napoleon 

I hope you enjoyed it dear! 

@miss-wish-a-lot

[many-gay-magpies]

Smh i should really stop talking to my mom about anxiety/mental stuff because every time it only makes me feel worse

I love my mom a lot but like . sometimes there are just things that get on my nerves even though i love her. I kinda feel bad because like she tries so hard to understand and says she understands and I know she DOES to a degree so I feel bad for lowkey thinking like the whiny teenager all like "yOu DoN't UnDeRsTaNd Me" sometimes, y'know? Like the bottom line is our brains just work really really differently a lot of the time and she either wants to believe or genuinely believes that they dont

Every time I talk to her about my (non-clinical, probably) anxiety and what caused it (this girl bullying me for six years) she goes on to mention all the ways she was bullied as a kid and all the terrible shit she's gone through to say in the end "so I understand" when like all of that shit is way different from my experience so every time she says it inside I'm just like "yes but actually no"

Like, today i was talking about my bully to her and how I've started realizing that all my responses now are responses i was forced to give as a kid because of the situation i was in with my bully, and she went in depth and told me (all stuff she had already told me about before and also when i had been talking about my anxiety stuffs before) about how her mom forced her to sleep in curlers so she would have banana curls and made her wear dresses and how she got mugged really bad when she was older and all this stuff that is very valid trauma and sucks ass and i thank her for trying to understand me but at the same time all the shit that happened to her was surface level. Neither of us could control what was happening to us, because her mom made her dress like that and I couldn't just make this girl suddenly not have issues, but like a dress is still something you can change??? Take off??? Like it isnt attatched to you as a person. I cant change the fact that i exist, which this girl bullying me apparently hated me for. To her my existence was just like "oh i must hurt this person" not because of what i wore, what i looked like, etc etc.

She also kept subtly bringing up the fact that i had never been PHYSICALLY hurt by my bully and implying that because she HAD her pain was worse and i could have had it worse if my bully physically hurt me and ACTED on the threats to hurt me (which my mom's bullies did) and while yes that was true . My bully didn't threaten to physically hurt me at all so there were no threats TO act on she just talked to me like i was shit all the time and beat my self esteem about my personality into a meaningless pulp . I kind of wanted to scream in my moms face "YOUR PAIN WAS MOSTLY PHYSICAL WHILE MINE WAS EMOTIONAL, BOTH ARE VALID AND DIFFERENT" but i know she does know that-- but maybe it would have gotten the point across idk

I wish so badly that i could just tell my mom "I dont want/need you to understand, i just need you to be here" and like i could but . I'm not there yet

(Warning ahead, I'm sorry if this gets really long but like I wanna get it off my chest before i go to sleep bcs i feel like ill sleep better if i do)

Another thing that annoys me is that??? Every time??? I say something??? Or tell her how I'm feeling at the moment??? She just asks me??? "Why?"??? And yes its good to talk about stuff but I'm trying to explain to you in a polite way why i want to leave the conversation and that its making me uncomfortable and i just want to go to bed and you just go "but why are you uncomfortable?" Or like if i tell her I'm upset and i want to stop talking about it she goes "why are you upset? I dont want you to be upset" and I'm just. I literally just said i dont want to talk about this anymore can i please leave you cant control that I'm upset about this because continuing talking to you is just going to make me more upset because no matter what way i try to explain it i cant get my points across right to you and i dont want to say you dont understand bcs thats immature but you kind of dont understand

I want to tell her "This conversation isnt having the outcome i wanted it to have and i want to leave it before it makes me more upset so that i can go think on it for later" but I'm sure if i do. that shed just go "but WHY arent you happy with the conversation tell me so i can fix it" and if i tell her blatantly what is making me unhappy (the fact that she keeps saying she understands and pouring stories of her traumas onto me to "prove" that she understands) then she's going to guilt trip me when were talking in the future by emphasizing the fact that i dont like when she talks a certain way and be all like "oh i wont tell you about my OWN experiences though because you said you don't LIKE when I DO that" and i just hhhhhh

Like every time i tell her she doesnt understand and try to explain it in a way that she WILL and it'll finally click it just. Doesn't and it makes me feel so defeated because every time i do that she just circles back around to "well i experienced all these types of trauma so i totally understand" and i appreciate the effort but that just isnt the kind of support i needed to make me feel content

And also when i was talking to her tonight i told her about a specific instance that happened in like 1rst or 4th grade where I was crying because the girl bullying me was just in one of those. Bad Moods™ where like she hated me for existing and talked to me like i was a piece of trash she had stepped in or smth and then she and a couple other kids asked me WHY I WAS CRYING and I didn't want to tell her "hey I'm crying because you keep hurting me and i dont want you to" because if i said that she would just hurt me MORE so i made up a lie on the spot and said that my parents had a small argument (I'm a sensitive kid and will cry at the barest hint of conflict between my parents so it checked out) and i was crying because of it and . Out of that ENTIRE STORY the one thing my mom zeroed in on was the fact that i told a lie that "painted my parents in a bad light"

Just. Like. Yeah. It did. But I wasn't even thinking about that at the moment?? Like it didn't even cross my mind??? The only thing i was thinking about was that i was scared and in danger and i probably would have said anything to get OUT of that danger (as fake or ill-perceived it might have been). But no, even later on after i had explained that in basically those exact words she still went back around to say "oh if it was bad enough that you told a lie about your parents to get out of it then she REALLY fucked you up"

Which??? By the way??? Is a whole other reason why i try not to talk to my mom about this shit??? Because every time i open up about it and want to have a conversation in a more logical/organized/"well here's the situation and here's what we can do about it" kind of way she always turns it around and says stuff like "damn [REDACTED] really fucked you up didn't she" and "I didn't know it was that bad"/"I didn't know it effected you that bad, you should have said something!" which. Makes me Feel Bad™, for some reason way more than my dad excitedly talking about reptile and monkey brains and how stuff that happened to us in the past is engrained into our brain and still effects us now, like instinct

She also always turns all of my stuff talking about emotions into "oh you're just a teenager" "you're pms'ing" "you'll grow out of it later"

Like one time i told her that her mind was always in the past or the future, always worrying about the past or the future, never in the present, in response to her worrying a bunch about something and how i had my mind in the present more often and her response was something along the lines of "well you're like that because you're young and a teenager, you CAN stay thinking in the present because you dont have all that stuff to worry about like an adult does, I'm an adult and i work a bunch so i constantly have stuff to worry about" and like. Yeah theres some solidity to that. But also i literally talked about that exact thing with my dad and HE said her brain was always in the past/future and never the present so I'm pretty sure its not just a teen vs adult thing

And then towards the end of this whole thing when i had finally managed to tell her "hey I'm uncomfortable in this conversation can i please leave and go to bed" and even further explained that it was because i went into this wanting to have a more casual/logic-based talk rather than an emotional discussion and . she's kind of of the mind that "why did you bring it up if you didn't want to have a deep emotional discussion about it" and I'm just HHHNNNNGGGG but also i actually DIDNT mention it, first i was mentioning how id been having sensory overload lately and how certain sounds of words hurt and then she said i should have a doctor check that out and then i said "I've been reading up on anxiety and sensory overload is a part of that so i figured that's just what it was" (bcs my dad gets sensory overload a lot too) which then ensued a ten-minute conversation about how i probably dont have clinical anxiety because mine isnt as bad as/like all the many, many people my mom has known who DO have it (throughout which i kept trying to tell her "just social anxiety exists too tho" to which she would respond "yea but u dont have these symptoms of general anxiety so i dont think u have it" and while i hope and think i dont i was just like HHHHHHH because i mean social anxiety and by social anxiety I DO NOT MEAN GENERAL ANXIETY YOU CAN HAVE SOCIAL ANXIETY WITHOUT HAVING GENERAL at least i think idk i might be wrong) which i ended by saying "i probably dont have clinical anxiety but i do believe my brain has been wired to react to certain situations based on how i had to react to those situations for six years" which then lead to me talking more about my bully and my mom pretty much siphoning as much emotional vulnerability and opening up out of me as she could

And then at the end i told her "can i please leave i kind of feel like crying and i dont want to do it in front of a person at the moment" (because I haven't cried in a few months and i feel like I'm in need of a good cry tbh which in itself is something she doesnt really understand) which lead her to go "why do you feel like crying now I'm worried for you" and HHHHHHEBDJBEHNDEJHBDNEHDBEH yeah--

There's probably more i could say but I'm not going to, because its almost 1 am and while i had actually been about to sleep early at like ten she ended up roping me into an hour or two long talk about emotions, which is. Fun. And i have to get up in six hours so I'm going to go to bed. Sorry if this was a mess which I'm sure it is, i really just needed to get this out there lol

Also when i went to my dad after this to say goodnight (i actually like talking to my dad abt this stuff a lot since his brain and mine are just really similar) he gave me this lil smile and just said "deep breaths" and that made me feel better

[writers-hes]

five years.

hello! here is the first part of a five part series called “five years”. it’s inspired by an article i read in the new york times. i really recommend/suggest you read it here. 

five years -- year 0. 

in which harry and you meet for the first time.

WARNING: unedited. 

contains: fluff !   

----------

“Danny!” Harry yelled as he saw one of his mates from his English classes. Harry was currently a psychology student, set to graduate in a few months. He was well known around the campus for being loud and kind to everyone. He was a part of humanitarian orgs and liked coffee a lot. He was usually hanging out at The Bean, a small coffee shop near uni. To him, The Bean was his second home. In fact, Angela, the pretty barista already knew his usual order. Harry tried to ask her out on a date and they went out for one date only to realise that it was weird, seeing as they treated each other like how siblings do. 

“Hey, Harry! Nice to see you,” Danny greeted back. Danny was Harry’s classmate in a couple of his Psychology classes. He was tall and lanky. He had shiny black hair that he dyes every other month. He wore thick-rimmed glasses because of his bad vision. He was also Harry’s best friend in uni. He and Harry liked to study together because Danny always had the complete notes and Harry always had something else to say that would make the subject easier to understand fro Danny. 

“I already ordered myself some coffee, by the way.” Harry said as he motioned to his glass tumbler. “You can go ahead and order something that you like I’ll wait out here,” he added. Danny nodded and walked towards Angela. He ordered two cups of coffee—one caramel latte and one homemade milk tea. He paid and waited for his orders and went back to his table with Harry. 

“Uh, is someone else coming?” Harry asked as soon as he saw two reusable glasses of caffeine. 

“Oh, yeah. I’m sorry I forgot to tell you, H. My friend is coming over. She’s a Lit major and she’s picking up some of the books she lent Zo,” Danny said. He laid the milk tea down and took out three books from his backpack, all collections of poetry from Charles Bukowksi, Oscar Wilde, and Ocean Vuong.  

“So you buy her a drink, huh?” Harry teased, taking a sip of his coffee. 

“Nah, not really. It was Zo who told me to buy her a drink,” Danny rolled his eyes. “He didn’t even give me some money for it,” he grumbled.

“Don’t worry, Dan. I’m sure you’ll get something else later!” Harry joked and laughed. Zo was Danny’s boyfriend for two years. He was also taking up Lit and met Danny through one of their English classes.

“Shut up, Harry!” 

———

“Say, what time is Zo’s friend coming over?” Harry asked. It’s been forty-seven minutes since Danny arrived. The ice from the tea Danny got her condensed. Harry stared at the layer of water separated from the layer of milk and tea.

“Uh, not sure,” Danny said, looking up from his notes. “I told her that I’ll be here for the whole day and she said that she’ll be here after she’s done with her classes.” Harry nodded and went back to reading his notes. He wondered who could it be. Zo and Danny never really mentioned that friend…perhaps they were new? It’s not like Harry loved to be nosey—it’s because the milk tea was starting to deteriorate and it’s so damn annoying. 

“So, are you letting her drink that?” he said, pointing at perfectly good drink forty five minutes ago. 

“Don’t know. Might drink it myself. You can have it if you like, I’ll get her a new drink.” Just then, Danny’s phone let out a ‘ping’. “Ah, she’s outside. I’ll just text her to come in here,” Danny said, typing for a few seconds on his phone. The door opened seconds later and there was you. 

You jogged on to where Danny was sat. “I’m sorry I made you wait, Dan! I had to stop by one of my professors to submit my classmates’ papers,” you breathed.

“It’s alright, misery,” Danny chuckled. “Oh, by the way! This is Harry,” he said, motioning Harry who was already looking at you. You smiled uncomfortably. “Harry, this is y/n, but Zo calls her ‘misery’,” 

“Why did you submit your classmates’ papers?” Harry asked.

“Oh, I’m the beadle for my creative writing class,” you replied. 

“Where are you going to next?” Danny asked. 

“Oh, I’m going to Kismet to study,” you tell him. 

“Kismet is closed, didn’t you hear? They’ve been doing some renovations. You should study here instead,” Harry interjected. “Besides, Danny got you a drink from Zo,” 

“Oh, uh—is that okay?” 

“Yeah. Don’t worry about him,” Danny replied. You take a seat beside Danny and in front of Harry. 

“Thanks for the drink, by the way. I’m sorry I’m late,” you whispered to Danny while leaning on his shoulder. You took the cold glass of tea and mixed the water with what Danny really paid for. You took a sip and finished it in seconds, to avoid the tea getting more watery.

You loved to wear sweaters even on summers. You loved to have your hair tied up so your hair wouldn’t get in the way of your clear-rimmed glasses. You had poor eyesight and a bad back. You liked tea and coffee but loved hot cocoa the best. You’re the sweet day on a hot summer. You were welcoming and warm.

“By the way, it was nice meeting you, y/n.” Harry said from across the table. 

———

Harry never really saw you after your encounter even though you saw him all the time. You just knew when he was near. He never left your mind ever since you met him at The Bean more than a week ago. You were always watching out for him and the possibility of him bumping into you and saying “hi” made you more alive than caffeine. What was with that curly haired boy? 

“So, I heard Kismet is finally open…” Zo said. You just finished one of your classes together and had a four hour vacant. 

“Ah, can we go there please? I miss my rose latte,” you pouted. 

“It’s not even that good. You just order it because it makes you feel like a Tumblr girl,” Zo chuckled. 

“Hey! Not true. I really like the taste! It’s not that sweet and not that strong either,” you retorted while bumping your sides with him. 

“You know who would like it? Harry. You met him, yeah?” 

“Yeah. I still feel a guilty for making him and Danny wait. Please tell them I’m sorry,” you pouted. Zo smiled at your sincerity. He knew that Harry and Danny didn’t mind—they were literally the most patient people he ever met. Well, not so much for Harry but he’s good enough. 

Meanwhile, on the other side of the campus, Harry was rushing to get to one of his majors. He had his textbooks and iPad in hand while speed walking to the designated room. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he mumbled repeatedly. He couldn’t believe he didn’t notice the time. He was too busy catching up with some of his friends from high school who visited. He was zooming past the corridor when he heard a loud ‘hey’. He turned around and saw you with one of his dear friends, Zo, behind him. He lost balance and fell on his butt, his iPad and books lading on the floor. 

“Harry!” Zo gasped as he jogged to Harry. “What happened?” 

“Was rushing to my psych class and lost balance,” he huffed. You jogged towards the scene and started picking up what fell down. 

“Here you go,” you smiled as you waited for Harry to get back up on his feet. He took his stuff from you. He was so red and you couldn’t help but chuckle a little. 

“What are you laughing at?” he asked. 

“You’re so red! Are you sure you’re alright?” you asked. 

“Yeah…happens to me all the time,” he mutters. He looks at his wrist watch and sighed. “gotta go! Say hi to Danny for me, Zo! And it was nice seeing you again, y/n!” he said as he shuffled and power-walked to his next room.

Harry couldn’t believe it. Before he could even ask for your number, you saw him falling down like a wuss. How will you think he’s cool now? It’s not like he fell in a cool way. He groaned and slowly treaded in front of the class room. He entered and thanked the universe because the professor wasn’t there yet. He sat in his usual seat and opened his iPad and got his Pencil when he received a text from one of his mates, Louis. 

Louis Tomlindaughter: oi! u wanna go down to niall’s for the viewing party?????

harry: Can’t. I have to study for a major exam tomorrow. 

Louis Tomlindaughter: nerd! next time if you say no im gonna go there my fuckin self and drag u smh !

harry: Sorry. Maybe next time. 

Louis Tomlindaughter: alright then but if u dont get a good grade in ur exam im gonna tell y/n how dumb u are ! hehehe 🤭 

Louis knew that Harry had a crush on you. Right after he met you, he met up with Louis and Zayn for some burgers. He couldn’t stop gushing about how warm and nice you were. He didn’t stop talking about how you offered him half of your chocolate chip cookie. He also didn’t stop talking about how pretty you looked that time in your baggy sweater and clear-rimmed glasses. Louis never really knew you or bothered to. Zayn and you knew each other because you would aways see each other at Kismet. It seemed like you and Harry ran in the same social circle but you just never really met. He didn’t even wanna go to class anymore. He just wanted to go to you so you can finally talk to him without the interruption of academics. When you were at The Bean, you barely looked at each other, too busy studying and highlighting notes. He sighed. 

Danny: hey are you going 2 niall’s viewing party l8r??? 

hairstyles: No. I have a major exam tomorrow. 

Danny: u can study w zo! im leaving him alone tonight and u know how he is. he loves study dates because it makes him focus 

hairstyles: Oh? Alright. I’ll text him. 

cimmamom roll harry: Hey, Zo. I heard you’re studying tonight. Can I come? 

Zo: SURE 

cimmamom roll harry: Cool. What time and where? 

Zo: KISMET AT 7PM !!!

cimmamom roll harry: Okay. See you then! x

Harry really wanted to go to Niall’s viewing party. It was the premier of Stranger Things 3 and he wanted nothing more that to watch it with his friends. However, time didn’t permit him because he had to study. He was so tired, only functioning when there’s caffeine around. The Bean was basically his second home and although he never tried it at Kismet because he was too afraid to try something new, he was looking forward to it. 

7 p.m. came quickly and he was outside Kismet, a brown and white coffee place. The decorations were mostly made up of different wood and burlap. The accents were black and the paint was white. There were also little succulents and cactuses littering the shop from the windowsills to the high tables. He opened the door and heard the bells chime. He looked for Zo only to find you sitting at a brown solo couch. Harry decided to go to you first. 

“Hey, y/n, right?” 

You looked up from your textbook to find the curly haired boy that never seemed to leave your mind. 

“Yeah. Hi, Harry,” you smile at him. It seemed like butterflies erupted in Harry’s stomach when you said his name. Your accent made his name sound better.

“Uh, are you going to study with Zo?” he asked. You noticed how slow he talked. He mumbled his words and his accent was thick.

“Well, I was supposed to. But he said he wouldn’t be able to go in the last minute,” you tell him. 

“Is it alright if I study with you, then? Was supposed to study with Zo too but I suppose that’s not gonna happen tonight,” He was really hoping that you would say yes. 

“Sure! No problem. Just lay your stuff on the table and I’ll watch you stuff while you order,” you tell him, motioning on the empty chair in front of you. Harry nodded and did what you told him too. he said thanks before leaving to get his order. 

Zo: thnx me l8er harry ;) 

Meanwhile, Harry was freaking out when he saw Zo’s text. He didn’t know he would be alone with you. Sure, Zo and Danny was doing him a favour and all that but—wait. How did Zo and Danny knew he was crushing on you? 

“Hello! What may I get for you today?” a blue-haired girl asked Harry once he was in front of the cashier. 

“Hi,” he looked at the girl’s name tag, “Rue. What are your crowd favourites here?” 

“Well, we got a lot! We have rose latte, apricot tea with aloe vera, grape cheezo tea, brown sugar milk, condensed milk coffee, and ca phe sua. I personally like the brown sugar milk and rose latte. The rose latte is our signature drink,” Rue informed. 

“I’ll have that, yeah. Large. I’ll also get two herb and and tomato linguine, please. With buttered bread and extra cheese, yeah?” 

“That will be…5.50 for the latte and then…25 flat for the pasta.” Rue said. Harry handed his credit card to Rue and told her to take something for a tip. Rue declined, telling him that it was fine—he was also a student and he didn’t have to. He opted for some loose cash from his pockets instead and put it into the tip jar. Rue thanked him repeatedly before he left the station to go back to where you sat and wait for his orders. 

“I hope you haven’t had dinner yet,” he said as soon as he settled himself on the comfy couch. 

“Oh, no. Not yet, why?” you asked. 

“Because I got you some pasta. It would be foolish of me to get two pastas of the same kind, yeah?”

“Well, maybe you really like the pasta. Who am I to judge?” you teased. 

“Not really a pasta man. More of a steak man myself,” he mentioned. 

“Ugh. I would kill for a steak right after the exams,” you told him. The past week, you have’t been eating full meals because of how busy you were. Caffeine and instant ramen was your go-to. if you were lucky, you would be able to make a quick stop to McDonald’s and get some nuggets. 

Harry’s orders arrived soon after and you thanked him as he handed the red sauced pasta to you. 

“So, what are you studying?” he asked you. 

“Not really studying but our final project is to compare two complete different poets together,” you told him. 

“Oh? Who did you pick?”

“Bukowski and Wilde. I really love Bukowski and he was my major influence in all of my poems,” you told him. 

“I don’t really know him that much but I stumbled upon one of his works before. I think it was Into the Arms of Another? It had those words but I remembered liking it a lot,” 

“Out of the Arm of One Love, you mean?” you corrected. “It’s actually one of his more famous works if I’m not mistaken but yeah, I love that poem too,” 

“Who’s your favourite poet?” he asked you. 

“I really love Virginia Wolfe, Maya Angelou, Ocean Vuong…but for me, Bukowski would always take the cake. The way he writes his poetry is so direct and sad. The emotions are very violent and I just really love him,” you gushed. 

He smiled at you. What was with you that pulled him? Is it your intellect? Or is it because you were so damn beautiful? 

“If it’s okay with you…can you show me more of his works?” he asked you. Harry surprised himself. He never really liked reading but he was suddenly so interested in what you were interested in. For you, the stranger he met two weeks ago, he was willing to read some poetry so he wouldn’t look like such a dummy. He never really liked changing for other people but what was with you?

“Yeah, of course! You can have my number. We can talk to each other there,” you told him. You wrote your number on a scrap paper and gave it to Harry. You surprised yourself. You never did this to other guys so what was with this lanky boy with good fashion taste? He took the paper from your hands and the soft touch of your skin to his was a shot of electricity between the both of you. You both immediately pulled away, shocked. 

“Erm, yeah, thanks,” he muttered. you immediately go back to the books you were reading and he opening his psychology textbook. He fished for his pencil case inside his bag. He took his pink highlighter and started to highlight terms. You sat in awkward silence for a little bit but it soon turned into a peaceful silence. You may have talked less but you were enjoying each others’ company. 

The cafe soon announced its last call. It was nearing midnight so you both packed up your things. You walked outside the cafe with him in silence. 

“Hey, y/n?”

“Mmm…?” 

“Where do you live? I’ll take you,” he told you. 

“Oh, it’s fine. You don’t need to do anything,” you told him. 

“I insist.” 

You informed him your address and just like in the cafe, you walked in peaceful silence until you reach your building.

“Here I am,” you announced. “Thanks for the pasta, bye the way.” 

“It’s nothing. Hey, you said you would kill for a steak after finals, right? Why don’t I take you out then?” he asked. You smiled at him and nodded. You hugged him and ran to your flat. What was with that curly haired boy with perfect posture?

Harry arrived at his soon after, wondering what the hell was with the girl with bad posture? You wore a pink sweater on your ‘study date’ so Harry painted his nails pink.

[all-hail-the-witcher]

every book i had to read for english and why i didn't like any of them

i woke up thinking about this and decided to make this post. for context, i went to public school and was on the honors/ap track for english. i am a firm believer that english teachers ruin books for their students inadvertently. this is my experience:

6th grade language arts

we read three books during 6th grade, bridge to terabithia, the cay, and where the red fern grows. and i had to read a wrinkle in time over the summer which i didn't understand like at all so I'm just gonna skip that one honors english was not a thing until 8th grade where i went to middle school so this was a regular english class and i hated it. it was also a double period class for some reason, so i had an hour and a half of language arts every day. 

it took us half the year to read bridge to terabithia. i am not kidding. that book is like maybe 100 pages and it took us a good 4-5 months. this is because our teacher stopped us every time we got to a pice of figurative language and made us analyze it. every. single. piece. i got so bored that i read ahead and then got in trouble for reading ahead. needless to say, i absolutely detested bridge to terabithia and would not touch it to this day if my life depended on it. 

after bridge to terabithia we read the cay. this took us the rest of the year. the cay is a relatively short book as well so i got bored with this one quickly as well. i really dont remember much about the discussions, but i remember a long one about how the cover was “inaccurate,” which, yes, it was but i dont know if a bunch of 11 and 12 year olds need to spend a week debating that. i think i hated it mostly because, again, we read it for 5 months. 

the last three weeks of the school year, our teacher gave us a book and said “here read this before school ends because we have to read three books a year and we only read 2″ (for context, the other language arts class had read about 5-7 books that year and found it insane that we were “still reading bridge to terabithia”) so i read where the red fern grows. all in all it wasn't a bad book, i did kind of enjoy it, but since i was rushed reading it on top of all my other homework and because it was definitely ahead of my reading comprehension level, it wasn't my favorite.

7th grade language arts

now, a bit of a disclaimer here, this was the year that i was in language arts with the guy i had a crush on and one of my close friends at the time. so, i didn't really pay that much attention to begin with. we read quite a few books in this class, but I'm not sure if i remember all of them. again, this was a double period. 

i think the first book we read was freak the mighty. i remember not liking this book because i felt like i was missing something. there was definitely some kind of metaphor or something in there that i was supposed to get but because i was literally twelve i didn't get it and i didn't find the meaning in it. theres nothing more frustrating than reading a book that you dont understand.

after that I'm pretty sure we read the wave. it was explained to us that the wave is supposed to symbolize how the n*zis came to power and all that stuff, and while we all knew this, i dont think we really Understood it. (probably because we were 12). we all kinda saw it as a joke and thought it was funny. i think that if i read it now i would be like. “well shit this is really interesting” but 12 year old me wanted to make fun of it with the rest of my class. 

i think we read seed folks next. this was another book that just went over all of our heads. its about how a garden changes a whole bunch of peoples lives which is like, super interesting. but none of us got it and were like “lol this is stupid” so much so that we actually stopped reading it. like my teacher stopped having us read it.

I'm fairly certain the last book we read was the miracle worker. a lot of us had had to read parts of it before that class so we were all kinda familiar with it already. i vaguely remember some kind of obnoxious class joke about the book that was probably rude. i remember finding it interesting, but there were so many activities we did about the book that i lost interest. 

8th grade honors reading

this class was A Trip. i liked the teacher, but she was a little out there. its unclear whether she got fired or just didn't come back after that year. i had a lot of fun in her class but it was usually because we all bonded over hating the assigned reading.

i dont remember what order we read the books in and i dont remember if this was all of them, but to the best of my recollection this is what we read

we definitely read romeo and juliet. by the time you're in 8th grade, everyone knows the story of romeo and juliet, so it wasn't like that suspenseful or a surprise or anything. but we had to act the reading out. yes we had to act out romeo and juliet. with burger king crowns. and wrapping paper swords. clearly the teacher was trying to have fun with us, and it was fun fun for awhile but it got old. especially when you got participation points taken off your grade if you didn't read for once of the characters (which is massively unfair because not everyone wants to get up in front of a class in a paper crown holding a wrapping paper tube and read in old english when you're 13 but whatever). 

we also definitely read animal farm. it was another book that went right over our heads (or, mine at least). i didn't actually really understand it until i had to read the communist manifesto for ap euro senior year. and our teacher talked in a bad russain accent the entire time? i could barely keep the characters straight, let alone analyze the underlying message and all that. now i might actually like it since I'm a history major and have a decent background on the russian revolution, but at 13? no thanks.

the one book that everyone hated (including the teacher herself) was farewell to manzanar. it was a memoir about a young girl growing up in the japanese internment camps and looking back on her life and stuff like that. the story itself was very interesting and we all learned a lot from it. but the person who wrote it did not know how to write. it was confusing, some chapters made no sense, and none of us generally knew what was going on. we had to finish the book because we were the honors class, but the regular class got to stop after chapter 6. 

i think we only read 4 books that year and the fourth one was the outsiders. this was one of two books that i actually liked the entirely of my public school education. i kinda vibed with it when we were reading it and then i vibes with it more once i got to high school and rediscovered it. it was just a good book, pretty solid, good themes, fantastic. 

9th grade honors english

i absolutely hated this class. hands down the worst teacher i ever had. she was one of those that should have retired 20 years ago but was still teaching for some reason. and she hated kids. legitimately. that was the first time i got a c and it took my parents a long time to realize that it wasn't because of me, it was because the teacher was absolute shit. the only thing that made that class bearable was the fact that my friend was in there and so was this guy that totally like her so he would flirt with her pretty incessantly and it was Hilarious. 

we read so many books that year and i hated all of them. a lot of them were like greek dramas and plays? like we read oedipus rex and julius caesar and antigone. and i hated all of them because the teacher made me hate reading and made it seem like a chore. 

by far the worst was the old man and the sea. i hated that book, hemingway was terrible. i struggled to find any kind of meaning in it and connected all of my responses to the bible because my teacher loved it when people did that.

we read inherit the wind and to kill a mockingbird and all quiet on the western front which were the only books i found remotely interesting. but i still hated them because i knew that we would have to do her reading quizzes which were impossible so it was pointless to read the book anyway. 

and we also read a raisin in the sun. i dont remember what this was even about except that there was some kind of insurance money involved. but by this point we were all really done with our teachers shit and my one friend legitimately said during class “but, ms. [name] if you put a raisin in the sun, doesn't it just get more raisiny?”

10th grade ap english language and composition (american lit)

i loved this class and the teacher but i hated all the assigned reading because we read it for the ap test. everything you read was in the context of having to find themes and shit to write about on the ap. so i didn't really get any of the books for that reason. i think we only read three and they were the scarlet letter, the crucible, and the great gatsby. i kind wish i paid more attention to gatsby and i think i would like it more now but at the time i detested it. we also had to read grapes of wrath over the summer and i hated that. i wanna read books to read them, not to come into school and write essays on them. also the ending was weird and i hated it.

11th grade honors (british lit)

another bad year of english, not quite as bad as freshman year, but still bad. still hated it. i outlined many fics in that class. the teacher did not like me and i did not like her. she also talked in this weird fake almost british but not quite accent that sometimes still haunts my nightmares. she was also one of those backwards feminists who claims they're a feminist but still was sexist in her favorites and the way that she treated people in the class?? after english i had math and my friend (the same girl who said the thing about raisins freshman year) and some others would complain to our math teacher about our english teacher. math was essentially a support group for english where we would discuss answers to reading checks. 

over the summer we read 1984, which, cool concept (esp right now) but i hated knowing that i had to find some kind of deep meaning in it because i was going to have to write an essay on it as soon as i came back to school.

from there i think we read beowulf which was interesting. i dont know if we actually read the whole thing or just excerpts but again, i hated looking for meaning.

we read a tale of two cities which was like the one book i actually wanted to read because i am a huge fan of the shadow hunters book serieses and will and tessa quote that book all the time. i think if i had read it to read it it would have been better but first, dickens is wordy and weird and second i dont really wanna have to search out symbolism while I'm reading because its required.

we read macbeth, which i just didn't like. idk why. i just kinda thought it was stupid. i dont really have an explanation for this one. i think it was because we read it in the old english and that confused me a lot of the time.

and we read jane eyre. the only thing i remember from jane eyre was “pathetic fallacy” which is where the mood of the scene is reflected in the weather. i dont wanna dissect a book like that. and also my teacher referred to the book as “jane” but she said it “jAAYYneeE” which was annoying. 

12th grade ap lit

dear god. this class. i had issues with this class. our teacher was something. everyone was afraid of him. e v e r y o n e. he ran detention and didn't know how to match his clothes and wore skinny ties. he had three swell bottles the he would bring with him to school every day. people claimed he used to be in a rock band and that was why his voice was so high pitched and weird. some said his wife left him, others said he had a kid. we were genuinely confused by him. he didn't teach, he yelled at you for doing things wrong without giving any instructions on how he actually wanted it done. he made college out to be some big scary thing where we would all be trampled. but mostly, he was an existentialist. 

we had to read song of solomon over the summer. i hated it. i didn't hate it because of the messages and all that stuff, no the book itself was good and toni morrison is a great author. i just hated the fact that there was graphic description of incest, necrophilia, or sex at least once every 5-10 pages. i didn't wanna read that. and it turned me off the book. so when he asked us if we liked the book when the year started i said no and i argued with him about it. and he hated me for the entire year. 

next i think we read waiting for godot. which was absolutely terrible. its literally a play where nothing happens. it would have been funny except that i knew i was gonna have to write an essay on it. how do you write an essay on a play where nothing happens? literally all of our discussions about it were about existentialism and it was terrible. 

we read the metamorphosis, which everyone hated cause it could have been written in like 4 sentences. and our teacher thought he was So Clever for assigning it to us. he thought it was the biggest joke. and he went on and on about how its about existentialism and blah blah. the book would have been funny had he not only discussed it in regards to existentialism. 

i think next was hamlet. i would have like hamlet had we not discussed it only through the lens of existentialism. its a good play, but i hated it because of the way he talked about it. even now, i only like it to make fun of the way he liked it. my friend and i send hamlet memes to each other all the time but only cause they remind us of our teacher.

one flew over the cuckoos nest. the second and final book that i actually liked my entirety of school. i dont know why i liked it, but it was just a good book. our teacher also had some kind of weird cowboy trope thing that he thought mcmurphy fell under which i thought was hilarious. the essay i wrote on that book was the only one he wrote “nice job” on and i still have it somewhere

my friend claims that we also read the stranger. i dont really remember what that book was about except some guy shot some people. there was definitely something in it that i didnt get. 

anyway in conclusion required reading ruins books. when i told my creative writing advisor that i out of all the books i read for school i only like the outsiders and one flew over the cuckoos nest she was like “yeah, english teachers really ruin books for students”

[anarcoqueer1994]

You Deserve Better (Chapter 3)

*A Muffy and Marty heavy of my Trans!TJ and Trans!Marty fanfiction. Features some Tyrus and platonic Tarty.*

Couple additional notes, there are some unsupportive parents in this chapter. I based some of it on my own experience. Also it is never okay to purposely dead name a person. And as always, you are valid if you pass, don't pass, or dont want to pass. You matter.

"Mara!"

A voice calls from downstairs. It gets no response.

"Mara!" 

The voice calls again. The sound of that name in the air fills the space with poison. It makes the air feel heavy. It is hard to breathe all of a sudden.

"Jesus Christ! Mara if I have to come up there, you are not going to like it."

Crash. Books tumble to the ground off the dresser.

The sound of feet climbing the stairs come next. Those feet belong to the voice. They make their way to a bedroom door. They push open the door to find a person shaking in anger surrounded by books littering the floor.

"Mara, I know you heard me."

"It's Marty, mom." He says defyingly.

"We are not doing this again. Knock it off. I need your help downstairs." She says in an exasperated voice.

"With what?' He spits back, trying to keep it together long enough to fight back the tears forming in his eyes.

"Well after you clean up your little temper tantrum, I need you to wash the dishes while I run to the store. I want to finish dinner before your dad gets home."

"I don't have a dad." Marty says behind gritted teeth.

"Now you stop that. Don't be so dramatic.'

"He won't even look at me anymore."

"That's only because he wants you to stop playing dress up and using these fake voices and go back to being his daughter. He just wants you to show a little respect for yourself and the way God made you." His mother says in a 'sympathetic' voice. 

"I am showing myself respect, mom. I am being true to me."

"Whatever, I'm not getting into this with you again today." She says as she turns to walk out.

As she walks out, Marty yells out the door to her. "That's right, walk away! But you can't avoid this forever!" He slams his door shut and sinks to the ground. He lets the tears stream down his cheek unchecked. It shouldn't hurt this bad to be himself but it does.

Honestly all he wants to do is call Buffy and hear her voice… but he can't. He can't because calling her would involve him telling her why he was upset. The problem with that is he hasn't come out to her yet. In fact the only person who knows is his new friend, TJ. It shocks him that TJ has become one of his best friends but given the fact that TJ is also trans, it helps him not feel alone in this.

Thinking about it, he couldn't believe how much his life had changed in this past month. He was finally dating, Buffy Driscoll, the girl he never gave up feelings for. Buffy was the best thing to happen in his life. Sure she was pretty, but God she was so much more. She was funny, smart, a hell of an athlete, and just as competitive as he was, if not more. Buffy was not perfect, sometimes she lost her head(i.e. the shoe incident or trying to run a marathon on no training) but who is? All he knows is that she is perfect for him.

Then why can't  he bring himself to just tell her the one thing she does not know about him? She would understand. She wouldn't care, he can almost guarantee himself but...what if she did? What if Buffy does care that he is a trans guy? 

He thinks about calling TJ to vent but remembers that his friend had planned a big date with Cyrus today. He doesn't want to ruin that. So he does the only thing he can think of to chase these feelings away. He gets up, changes into his running clothes and leaves his house. From there, he just goes. He doesn't know where he is running to, but it doesn't matter as long as he keeps going.

After what must have been an hour, his phone rings in his pocket causing him to come to a halt. He expects to see his mother on the caller ID, having come back from the store and realizing he wasn't there. To his relief though, it is not. Its Buffy instead, he smiles to himself, almost forgetting his bad feelings, if only for a moment.

"Buff-ay" He says in a goofy voice as he answers.

"Mart-ay" She replies. "What are you doing right now?"

"Not much, running, that's it."

"Wanna grab dinner with me then? Cyrus is out with TJ and Andi is hanging out with Amber and Jonah."

"Are you asking me on a date,  Driscoll?" He jokes.

"In your dreams." She teases back. "Anyhow, see you at The Spoon in 20?"

"Yea, I'll be there." As he hangs up, he can't help himself not to smile. Even though they are finally dating, he likes that they can still joke around like that. Honestly he doesn't know how he got so lucky.

********

Twenty minutes later, he finds himself in the diner walking towards the table that Buffy is sitting at. He smiles as he meets her eyes.

"Hey" he says as he takes a seat next to her.

"Hey, yourself." Her smile mirrors his. "How was your run?"

"Good, I guess."

"You should've texted me, I would have ran with you."

Marty smirks. "You know, didn't  want you to feel bad when you couldn't keep up."

"You mean, you didn't want to feel bad when you were eating my dust." She laughs. God he loves that laugh.

"But really, I just needed to get out of the house, it was kind of a spur of the moment thing."

"Another fight with your mom?"

"Yea, I guess."

"What do you guys even fight about all the time?"

"You know how it is, just normal parent-kid stuff." He likes trying to smooth over the topic.

"Are you sure?" She pushes.

"Yea.' He says quietly before switching his tone. "Let's eat, I'm starving!"

Buffy doesn't want to drop the subject but knows pushing won't help. She makes a mental note to bring it up later. 

After a while, Marty's phone buzzes in his pocket. He pulls it out to find a message from his mother. 

Where the hell are you? This isn't funny. For the record, I noticed you didn't do anything I asked.

Marty rolls his eyes and throws his phone on to the table. Buffy gives him a look demanding what is going on.

"It is just my mom. I didn't quite tell her that I was leaving. " Marty rubs the back of his head.

"So you should be getting back." Buffy says in a matter of fact tone.

"I guess. I'm going to be dead when I get their though. So you better say your goodbyes." He tries to joke.

She punches his shoulder playfully before giving a small kiss on the cheek. "Don't worry, I'm sure you all will work through whatever is happening."

He gives her a weak smile and just nods. He doesn't quite believe that is true. "I should get going."

"Want me to walk you home?"

"Nah, Buffy. It's okay. Thanks."

"Okay, call if you need anything?"

"Of course." He says as he stands up.

"One more thing" Buffy says softly. "You do know I am here no matter what? So if you ever wanna talk about the bad stuff you have going on with your parents, I'm here."

He can't help but beam at her words. Maybe he will tell her, but not tonight. "Thank you…you have a good night Driscoll." 

**********

Buffy sits a bit longer at The Spoon. She doesn't quite understand what can be going on with Marty's parents. Whatever it is though, she knows it has to be more than "normal teen stuff." She wishes that she could help more. She just doesn't know how.

When she finally goes to leave 20 minutes later, she notices that Marty left his phone at the table. She picks it up and slides it into her pocket. She decides that she will just drop it off to him. So she heads out of the diner and heads towards his house. Buffy has only been there once, awhile back, when his parents weren't there. He has always been weird about introducing any of his friends (or girlfriend apparently) to his parents.

When she arrives at his house, she knocks on the door and waits. She would of called him ahead of time but, you know, she has his phone. A short brunette woman who appears to be in her late 30s answers the door. She guesses this must be his mom.

"Hi, can I help you?" The woman asks politely.

"Yea, actually, um I'm Buffy. I am Marty's girlfriend. We were hanging out and he left his phone." 

The woman rolls her eyes and Buffy worries she said something wrong. Oh god, she thinks, what if he has not told his mom he has a girlfriend. What his mom says next though surprises her.

The woman turns behind her and yells "Mara! Get down here now."

Mara? Who's Mara? Does Marty have some secret sister she doesn't know about. As a matter of fact, she remembers a Mara at school in the 6th grade but she didn't come back in the seventh grade or eighth grade. She doesn't have much time to think about it because she notices Marty bounding down the steps. He isn't looking up so he doesn't see her. Then she hears him say "Its Marty, mom." As those words leave his mouth, he looks up and sees Buffy.

"What...what...are you doing here, Buffy?" It sounds like he is having trouble breathing. 

Before Buffy can answer, his mom speaks. "This nice young lady was bringing you your phone. But then she let me know you have her twisted up in this stupid game you are playing, Mara."

"Stop calling me that!" Marty says, focusing on his mom because he isn't brave enough to look at Buffy.

"That is your name! Just because you are playing dress up and pretending to be a boy, doesn't change who you really are."

Suddenly it clicks to Buffy what is going on. Marty is trans and his mom just outed him to her. She feels terrible and feels like she should say something. She clears her throat and says "I don't mean to be disrespectful but apparently you don't care about that ma'am so I'm going to continue anyhow. Marty is the best guy I know and you aren't being very nice to him at all. I don't  think you are a nice person. I don't like the way you treat him." Marty smiles to himself. She really is the most amazing person.

His mother turns away from Marty to face Buffy again. "Watch your tone with me." She snaps back at the teenager at the door.

Marty's voice comes from behind his mom. "Don't talk to her like that." 

"She has no right to talk to me like that. Especially since all I was doing was telling the truth, Mara."

"Stop calling me that."

"That is your name!"

"No it is not and you know it!" Marty is shaking now in anger as Buffy looks on.

His mother's voice is tinged with annoyance as she speaks in a calmly. "I don't want to talk about this, I think you're friend should go home and you should go to your room."

"You never want to talk about this!" The boy steps closer. "You never want to talk about the reason dad barely speaks anymore and hides out in your room. You never want to talk about why I don't have friends here. And you never want to talk about the fact that you have a son! But we are going to talk about it! We are going to talk about me." 

His mom interrupts him. "You will listen here. I work too hard for this family for you to talk to me like that."

"Oh you work too hard?! Well I worked harder! I tried harder than you to stomp this out and not make it a problem! I tried not to bother my family with my problems. " He starts shaking slightly. Buffy pushes past his mother to stand next to him and squeeze his hand. He continues. "But then I couldn't anymore, mom. It hurt too much. So I did what I could to feel better about myself. I started dressing and presenting in a way that felt right. I was happy and everyone at school just saw a boy but you and dad couldn't accept that. Dad just stopped talking to me and you live in this delusional place in your head where this isn't happening. But it is happening. Why can't you be okay with this? Why don't you care about me being happy?" His voice was smaller now.

"Because it's wrong, and you know that. Do you want to be some freak?"

"Mom...that's not true. You don't really think I am a freak, do you?" He asks as Buffy keeps squeezing his hand.

His mother clears her throat. "I think you should leave...Mara." 

"Don't you care about me…"

"I told you to leave. I will call over to your aunt's and you will stay there."

"You know what? Don't bother." He pulls Buffy's hand with him as he pushes past his mother without another word and leaves, slamming the door behind him.

They walk in silence for a while, with Marty holding onto Buffy's hand like he would die if they let go. When they are far enough away from his home, Buffy whispers "You know you didn't deserve any of that, right?"

Marty stays silent, not able to look at her. She continues, "I mean it. I wish your parents would see what I see when I look at you."

"Which is?" He manages to barely push those words past his teeth.

Buffy stops and moves in front of him so she can look him in the eyes. "I see someone who is funny, and smart, an amazing runner, a person who will do anything for the people he cares about. I see one of the best guys I have ever met."

"Buffy ...I'm so sorry I lied to you. I should have known you would have been so supportive." He says, taking both her hand in his.

"Don't be sorry, you have to do this own your own time. Just know, I got your back, always." She smiles at him.

He mirrors back her expression. She asks "Do you want me to text my mom to see if you crash on our couch tonight?" 

"Nah, I'm pretty sure your mom wouldn't be happy with a guy staying the night, but thanks. If you give me my phone back though, I think I know someone I can call.

"Oh yeah, sorry. Here." She hands him his phone. He quickly shoots TJ a text.

Yo, can I stay at your house for a few days?

Let me ask my mom. Why?

My mom kicked me out. I'll explain more later.

My mom said yes. See you in a bit. 

Marty turns back to his girlfriend. "TJ's parents are going to let me stay over."

"I still don't understand how you two became so close." She says as they start walking  again, heading to TJ's.

"He kind of found out about me and has been really supportive." He doesn't go into specifics because saying  more would out TJ. That is not his right.

Buffy can sense that there is more but gets the hint not to push. As they walk, they intertwine pinkies. They don't say much. That's okay though because her still being there even after everything, is enough.

********

After a while, they reach TJ's house. They walk up to see the boy with sitting on a porch swing, resting his head against his boyfriend's shoulder. Marty thinks it's kind of cute to see the taller boy slouching to rest his head on Cyrus. Then a thought crosses his mind as he and Buffy step into view of boys on the porch.

"Oh god, you guys had your date day today and I am crushing it."

Cyrus smiles at him from the chair. "Actually  I was just telling TJ I have to head home. It's late and now that my mom knows we are dating, sleepovers are a no-no." He laughs. He kisses TJ's cheek and pulls away. TJ groans in pretend annoyance, before pulling Cyrus in for one more kiss. 

"Bye Underdog." TJ gives a dopey smile.

"Bye Teej…" He returns with the same lovestruck look.

Marty and Buffy make fake gagging noise almost in unison. It makes them both smile.

Cyrus eventually smiles towards Buffy. "Wanna walk home together?" Buffy nods before giving Marty a hug goodbye. She whispers "Text me tomorrow, okay?" Marty nods before the two friends head out towards their homes.

Marty joins TJ on the porch and takes a seat. He clears his throat.

"So uh, Buffy knows." Marty says softly.

"That's great man, you told her?"

"Not exactly, she came over to drop off my phone. I had left it at the diner. My mom answered the door and kind of outed me. But Buffy didn't care, you know? She even stood up to my mom for me. So it made me feel, you know good."

"I told you Buffy really cared about you, didn't I?" TJ gives a smug grin.

"Yea you did, man. I just felt so strong with her there, like a better person. So I stood up to my mom. Unfortunately that got me kicked out, but it was worth it. I mean I shouldn't have to stay with people hate such a big part of me."

"You're right. And tomorrow my mom said we will help you figure it out, okay? But tonight, just relax."

They sit quietly for a while just enjoying the night air. But TJ breaks the quiet. "So like does Buffy know that I know you're are trans?"

"Yea but don't worry I did not tell her you are trans too."

[blackrosesfanfic]

Chapter 221

Rollie

Lane is fucking bad man. I'm cleaning up a whole gallon of milk because he decided that he knew how to make chocolate milk for him and Royalty, who is fucking 1 and unable to do any fucking thing. I cant deal with this boy. So here my ass is. And he sitting in the dining room with Royalty drinking his milk like he didn't do nothing. He did fucking manage to make their milk.

"Yo." I say answering my phone.

"Rollie?"

I throw the paper towel away. "Drew."

She sighs. "I miss hearing your voice. How are you?"

"I'm good."

"You don't care how I am?"

I roll my eyes. "Naw, not really. Got a lot of shit going on."

"Oh with your sister and her cheating husband?"

"Drew seriously."

She giggles. "Well anyway. If you don't want to talk to me I understand."

I nod taking the phone away from my ear. "Aight."

I hang up. You accept that shit and it always turns into some shit. I look around the kitchen. In the fake world Leah would be standing right there ready to ask a million questions and I would be acting like I'm caught.

"What the hell is this?" Chris snaps.

"Where the hell your kids at?" I retort.

He points outside. "They out there with Jordan."

"Jordan is your babysitter?" I shake my head. "My irresponsible 7 year old who hates babies?"

"I just went to fucking pee." Chris says looking at the milk. "That's milk?"

I throw the paper towel at him. "You finish this shit."

"It was only 3 minutes." Chris says looking out the back door. He opens it. "Jordan? What are you doing? Where are the kids?"

"So I'm not a kid?" Jordan asks.

Chris looks back at me then at her. "The babies. You are a kid. Where are the babies?"

"In the house."

"Alone?"

"There are adults in there." She snaps. "So can I get back in the pool now?"

"I got to clean this up." Chris says sounding defended. "Aye, when is Cammie and Trey coming? What time is it? I thought they were just picking Caden up."

I just stare at him as he rambles without waiting for any type of response. I don't even know shit he talking about. Can't answer his damn questions. Chris cleans it up then goes into the dining room where the kids were. Jordan hits the glass door then waves for me to come to her. No. I'm not watching you in the damn pool. She drops her shoulders. Shay is the name that her mother wanted but her father named her Jordan. But Jordan has stuck around just like Shay. I think more people call her Jordan. I wave at her. That pissed her off. My phone rings.

"Yo."

"Man, why the fuck you make me think I knew how to talk to my wife?" Trey spazzes.

I laugh. "You and Chris suck each other dicks too much. Just alike. What the hell you talking bout?"

"Tried to talk to Cammie and only thing came out of it was her thinking I don't want to be with her."

"But you don't Tremaine. Ain't that what you told me?"

"No." He says unsure. "Did I?"

I chuckle. Motherfucker so insecure. I don't know what my fucking sister does to him. Don't know where his ass is. I don't know when I became his spiritual advisor. I stare at Jordan as she presses her face to the glass.

"Aye, Chris! My fucking baby trying to be patient with your ass."

"Chris!" Lane yells running into the kitchen.

Chris comes into the kitchen from the other direction. "Bruh, find out when your sister coming to get her kid."

Lane was opening the back door. "Shay, open this door!"

"Lane you can do it yourself!" Jordan yells opening the door.

"Rollie?" Chris pleads.

I laugh. "Aye, Trey come save Chris from your son."

Trey blows. "I can't save my fucking self from his mother."

"You had a whole day of silence to rehearse. What the hell were you doing instead?"

"Sleeping." He snaps.

"The damage is real. Tell me the conversation."

He sighs. "I can't."

"Damn you forgot?"

"It's fucking embarrassing."

I shrug. "Well then Trey what can I do?"

"Man, I dont know. Let me call you back."

"Aight."

This nigga is a fucking mess. Lane runs into the house holding his dick. He pauses at the door right after he gets into the house then he start crying. I turn away from him and start laughing. Chris about to fucking shit bricks. I turn back towards Lane.

"What's wrong, nigga?"

"What's wrong, Lane?" Chris asks coming up behind him. "You went to the bathroom?"

I hold my laugh in. "On the floor."

All the emotion leaves Chris' face. He looks down at Lane who is still screaming. Chris leans against the door frame. Sweet Amber comes up asking what happened. She is too good to Chris. She picks Lane up.

"You just not having a good day, baby."

"You talking to Lane or Chris?" I ask.

She kisses Chris' neck then walks out of the kitchen with Lane. Chris just stands there then he goes back outside. I look out of the back door. Jordan was floating on a flower float with shades on and a towel over her body. That is what you were so ready to get in the water to do? Not even play. Just lay there.

 Trey

I answer the phone unconsciously. "Hello."

"Hey, Tremaine."

I smile. "Hey, Mama Cammie."

She chuckles just a bit. "I'm waiting on my luggage. Cammie isn't answering her phone. Did she send a car to pick me up? I'm really not too familiar with things in LA. Will it be easy to get a cab?"

"You at the airport?" I ask sitting up in my seat. "Cammie home breastfeeding or something. Maybe pumping. Which airport are you at?"

"Tremaine, I have no clue."

I smile. She is so much of Cammie. I swear. Helpless but bossy. She doesn't have it as bad as Cammie though. Cammie is a bitch. She reads me the ticket information. I'm actually not far away from her.

"I'll be there to get you in a few minutes." I tell her.

"Oh no. Just tell me how to get a cab. Do I call?"

"No, ma'am. I will be there. It's fine. I'm close."

We hang up the phone. I left the house just to not be there with Cammie, my mama, and my aunt who are all giving me looks. I don't think Cammie told them anything. I'm still getting looks. I get out of the car like I'm a normal person.

"Sir you can't park here."

"I'm just walking inside to get my mother." I say pointing. "She right there."

The guy looks behind himself then he looks at me. "Alright then. 5 minutes."

I walk into the building. This was a bad idea. I couldn't see over the crowd of people coming and going. I walk over to the corner of the room near a man with a sign. He waves it in the air then he looks at me.

"You never going to find your person just standing there. You need a sign."

"Yeah, buddy. It ain't that simple."

The guy puts his sign down. He walks to the wall and pick up a big piece of paper and bring it to me.

"Sure it is." He says handing me a market.

"Thanks." I say writing my name on the paper.

The guy looks at me. "Oh you waiting on Trey Songz?"

I stare at him for a few seconds then turn away. "Yeah. Sure."

I cover my face with the sign as someone stares at me. Let's not have any pictures of me standing in the airport with a sign. I chuckle to myself. That would be funny though. Wouldn't be funny running from the crowd of people that follow me.

"Tremaine."

"Mama Cammie." I say taking the sign away from my face.

She looks around. "I think those people are waiting for Trey Songz to come to his driver. Maybe you should leave that on your face."

I chuckle and start walking. "I didn't know you were coming to town."

"I talked to Cammie about it. Should I have told you? I don't want to be invasive."

"It's just that she didn't tell me. You welcome anytime."

We walk out of the airport followed by the crowd of people that Gwen was talking about. I'm sure that they have figured out by now that it is me. They were behaving well and just following me. That's all good. We get into the car without being bothered. I'm honestly not ready to go home.

"I was going by Chris' Beach rental he has to see Lane. Do you want to do that?"

"Oh yes that's fine."

We drive for a good bit in silence. It was very peaceful. Almost like she wasn't there. She had her face almost glued to the glass. I change my mind again about going to Lane and I drive around the city so she can see different sights. I didn't tell her that's what I was doing. We really just stayed silent.

"So Mama." I say looking at her. "You just came to LA to visit?"

"I want to be in my grandkids life without always taking them from home. You know?"

I nod. "Yeah."

"I figured it would be good for me and Jayla to... I don't know. That might be a stretch. What do you think?"

"Me?"

"She must tell you stuff." She says looking at me hopeful.

"She really doesn't. I mean she tells me stuff. But I don't understand her reason."

Gwen sighs deeply. "You know it's hard as a parent without having so much against you. I really loved her father. I wish they could remember that. I'm not a bad person for trying to fill a really big hole in my life. That was my first love."

"She might not understand that."

"I can't say I would have went back and changed anything because my kids would lose out on time with their father."

I glance over at her. "How is that?"

"They spent so much time with him."

"I mean. Why weren't yall together?"

She looks at me. "Just like you travel he traveled."

"I thought her father was just a local artist. Not traveling around the US."

"I see she doesn't talk about anything. I just want to say that I tried my best after he father died. I went from raising my kids with a great father to being by myself. Both of them seemed to forget everything. It became my fault that my son wanted to be a thug instead of a straight A student like he was."

I chuckle. "Rollie made straight A?"

"He was a grade level ahead of his class and he was still the top of his class."

"Rollie?"

She sighs. "Yes, Rollie. He changed completely. He went from being picked at to picked out of the crowd. He was a big fluffy bear. They turned my baby into a mean gangsta." She chuckles. "He still is my soft teddy bear. No matter how small he is."

"And Cammie? What happened with you and her?"

She sighs. "College. I don't know."

"Just college?"

Damn. The girl never told her fucking mother what happened. Gotdamn Cammie. I'm not going to be the one to fucking tell her. But Cammie is going to tell her with my help. Damn I'm already in the fucking hole.

"My children were spoiled by their father. He gave them whatever they wanted. I mean whatever. They would miss school for weeks at a time. My grandfather was the superintendent at the time so everyone in the school knew my family. They would send the kids school work with them. Her father spend a lot of his time in Atlanta and New York. They were rarely home with just me. And when they were they behaved so that they could go out of town when time came."

"Cammie don't talk about her childhood. I learned a lot just now. Do I know my wife?"

Gwen smiles softly touching my shoulder. "In ways that matter. She has grown so much since she had Lane."

"I need some growing, Mama Cammie."

"You need to get your priorities straight. God. Family. Everything else."

I nod. "But taking care of my family is done with that everything else."

"Girls, parties, sex, and drugs?"

"No ma'am. Money, work..."

She puts her hand up between our faces. "Don't even preach that to me. You could work as a manager at a Walmart and take care of your family. This is your dream. This is the life you want. It's not what God gave you and it's not doing nothing for your family."

"I mean..."

"It's not doing nothing for them." She repeats. "And it has no place in your marriage."

"So you saying I should stop music?"

She smirks and puts her phone down. "If you don't know how to grow up and put those childish things to the side."

"So Cammie's father did?"

"Nope." She says looking at herself in the mirror. "Got into a car with a drunk woman who ended his life and his unborn child."

I sit up in my seat then look at her really quick. "Say what? You kidding me?"

"Of course their father was nothing but a Saint to them. I know you haven't heard that."

"You was sitting here talking about how much in love you were."

She sits back then she looks at me. "Never said I didn't have growing to do. I sure did stop acting a fool and go back home to my parents. Married the man my father wanted me to marry and the rest is history."

"I don't see where you and your kids relationship went wrong."

"When I told my son that I would not watch him kill himself like his father did. When I told my daughter that she was headed straight for a life of regret and shame. Running after that football player and all his glory. I stopped feeding my children with a silver spoon and they rebelled. I became the worst mother in the world. But I don't regret it because they weren't doing nothing with themselves living under me."

I glance at her. "So you think Cammie shouldn't have married me?"

She smiles. "I like you Trey Songz." She touches my shoulder. "Better you grow up now while she still tolerates you. I think that boy broke her heart and she never wanted me to know. But I would never tell her I told you so. Like I said. Lane made her grow up. Maybe it was you. Well it has to be you. Lane wouldn't be here if it weren't you."

"Sometimes I think I'm not good enough for her."

"Cause you aren't." She snaps looking at me sideways. "But that doesn't mean you aren't capable of being what and who she needs. Your worth is not what makes you undeserving of her. It is your reputation. Your Mr. Steal a Girl."

I laugh. "Did you recently learn that?"

"I listened to a song or two of yours."

"You think outside of my fame persona..."

"Outside of Trey Songz."

I nod. "Only that part of me deserves Cammie?"

"Are you looking for some answer?"

"I just like what you said. It would be nice to hear it again."

She makes her eyes big. "Go hear it from your wife."

"But she is mad at me."

"Okay, she is mad at you. Did she stop loving you?"

I nod my head. "Okay. Let's go by the house then go to the beach with Lane."

"Where is Caden? At the house?"

"Yes."

She nods her head while smiling. "Okay."

I nod. "Good."

[sanguinarius-archive]

Hey! Could I get to know some of your headcanons about dickfigures/your designs for them? :D

ya ya sure!!!!

i already have my designs for them up if you havent seen, here they are!

as for headcanons idk how long this post will be so ill just add a read more for anyone who might not wanna scroll thru it all lol

red!!!!!

his real name is rowan bc i thought it was cute, also it means “little red one” which is eVEN BETTER

he’s nonbinary masc and bisexual! the self projection is REAL

he has adhd

most of my headcanons kinda flow into my own version of dick figures because i’m not very Satisfied with canon NJSJDNSKM so like. for example red doesn’t just kill people or whatever. he gets into fights and has scars and wears bandaids a lot bc of them

he graduated college with blue, he got a bachelor’s degree in fine arts (honestly idk how college works bc im a grade 10 baby so if thats like totally wrong just let me know also im. canadian so idk how american school system works LOL)

red got suspended a lot in high school but never expelled. mostly bc he got in fights that were mainly him protecting stacey from shitty people (he sees her as his sister so he was rlly protective) and the school wasnt really sure what else to do so they just. you know. suspended him a bunch of times hoping itd do something but it didnt

he hates his dad! reason being is bc when he was born, his dad was actually an alien able to disguise himself as human, so he wanted to take red back to his home planet cuz red turned out to be more powerful than anything his dad had ever seen. but red’s mom was like Nope, so she snuck out with him and his plush cat (kitty amazing) and they were never found. red is very close with his mom and is scared of his dad coming back someday

we know he canonically likes rlly loud music so im just gonna project here and say he’s a metalhead. at least, some form of it. he likes the alt scene music and industrial rock. examples being deftones, nine inch nails, skinny puppy, rage against the machine, kittie and others. it keeps him focused and calm

bLUE!!!

we know blue was bullied as a kid but i dont wanna say red also bullied him bc i feel like thats just wrong to me? MAYBE ITS NOT ACTUALLY but it just makes me sad so like. lets say red, being as protective as he is, stood up for blue a lot cuz he was like “oh this kid cant fight” so he knew what to do

blue dated pink for awhile but they mutually agreed to break up after blue realized this wasnt what he wanted (he came to the conclusion that he was gay, well, he knew for awhile but it was Internalized Homophobia)

he grew up in a very conservative family so to see the world completely differently by meeting red, ems (lt), pink and stacey was a very good thing for him. unfortunately even tho his family did love him, it was conditional so they stopped talking to him after he came out. thankfully he’d already graduated high school by that point

despite being emotional blue isn’t very good at understanding how he’s an emotional person. he’s able to distinct one feeling from another and analyze them, but it’s just... hard for him to kind of. process WHY he feels a certain way? which is what’s led to a lot of his struggles in getting closer with ppl

he loooves reading and writing we already know this but i mean come on. he also got a bachelor’s degree in english/ela. so he’s able to become a teacher ig but he doesn’t really want to? at least not for awhile yet

blue was ems’ first friend. at first he couldn’t understand why they had tics but decided he shouldn’t get into someone else’s business. he didn’t find it weird, just cool!

he and red would always pair up for projects if they had classes together!!!!!! blue would do the writing/research and red would do the illustrations. they always turned out really good even if it ended with red cramming it at the last minute

surprisingly hates broseph more than red. well i mean its not surprising, because broseph was always a huge DICK to him

blue’s real name is wyatt!!!!! i forget the meaning but i felt the sound of it and the meaning fit him well

piiiiink!!!!!!!!!!

she’s still in college, getting her doctorate to be an astrophysicist!

pink is very very smart and will help anyone who’s struggling with something in school. she was basically the genius who always got in the honor roll every year. but, she actually was really anxious especially with exams

pink encourages stacey to go back to school, and sometimes stacey does, but she always ends up leaving again. it’s a little stressful but pink has hope for her

she’s never drank one sip of alcohol in her entire life. she smoked weed once, but it felt weird so she didn’t do it again

ever since she and blue broke up she’s been very supportive of him bc she herself is bisexual!!! so she sees nothing weird about it. in fact, about almost a year later she started dating stacey

pink’s real name is lily. when she became friends with blue she met red through him and she was like “can i join your nickname thing” and they said “sure” so they called her pink. stacey sometimes calls her pinky or just pink but mostly lily

pink helped red with academics. even tho he was sometimes insufferable to work with (/j thats a Joke i promise she’s a very patient person) she didn’t give up on him!!!! in return he helped her out with some fitness stuff cuz pink was always insecure about gym, and later when she graduated she actually got into exercising bc of red!

she loves travelling and going for walks. she owns a lot of houseplants and she’s given them all names and takes very good care of them! she also owns an albino ball python named Velvet

STACEYYY!!!!!!!

stacey is nOT actually all about sex this time ok. i don’t like that. i mean she did have some personality in canon but it wasn’t much? anyways she just really likes to express herself thru tight/”risque” clothing like fishnets and leather and pleated skirts and thigh-highs and platform boots, all of that. basically she’s a goth girl but doesn’t really “act” like one

she’s really intelligent when it comes to animals and insects and will tell you anything you need to know. when she goes back to college she gets a degree in environmental science

stacey can play the electric and bass guitars!!!! she was in a band back in high school but it never really went anywhere beyond performances at parties in someone’s garage. not that she didn’t like it, looking back on it makes her feel happy, but she wished it continued. probably why she has a hard time going back to college bc she’s not sure what she really wants

stacey is a trans woman btw!!!!! unfortunately it was a little difficult in high school to be who she was bc some kids were jerks, but there were a lot of others who supported her which is good

she views red as her brother as well and they still hang out a lot

i haven’t really had time to focus on stacey and make headcanons and stuff for her so i don’t have a lot but... let’s say, secretly, she’s a scifi nerd. and for the sake of debate, let’s say she’s a marvel fan. if you count being a fan of deadpool as being a fan of marvel

LOVES GIRLS.... loves pink!!!

has very similar music taste to red’s!!!!!

emssss!!!!!!! (lt)

instead of being a stereotype of ppl with tourette’s syndrome, it’s just a normal thing that isn’t focused on a whole lot. it doesn’t make ems swear but if they get really really frustrated they’ll curse while doing one of their tics

ems is agender, i’d say they’re also ageless but i don’t really want to make them too “nonhuman” because i feel like that’s dehumanizing to people with tourette’s. so let’s just say most laws of existence don’t apply to them

they’re very friendly!

they’re an aspiring musician, just like in canon

ems is also big into horror movies believe it or not. they’re pretty critical of them though like most horror movie fans, and only like specific ones (i’m not a horror movie fan myself so i can’t say what Specific Ones they like ajsdhbjn just imagine they have good taste okay)

they r very artsy too and like doing crafts cause it gives them something to focus on. it’s just a hobby though it’s not something they’re Professional at

they love nature and flowers and trees and all kinds of plants and animals!!! they like to document what they see when they travel thru nature and stuff so they bring a camera with them (and their phone, but, you know whatever)

ems was never really affected by things people said to them regarding their syndrome. to them it was something they were born with, so they couldn’t bother to feel bad about themselves. in certain situations theyre able to control it but 90% of the time they don’t care about what ppl think

aaaand there u go!!! as for minor characters like raccoon, jason/trollz0r, broseph, dingleberry, they all exist (raccoon isnt a racist stereotype tho), i just dont focus on them a whole lot. most of my hcs for stacey and ems here were thought up on the spot since i havent had time to lay out all my ideas for them but i hope what i have here is good !!!!

also, red and blue ARE dating, and pink and stacey ARE ALSO dating. gay rights

[eggjorp]

Rivals

A/N: THAT GODDAMNED TONGUE IN THE GIF shfishdfisfhijdfis ok I edited the bulleted scenario that I submitted to @nctdoingthings my lovely best friend instead of doing my homework skksdkjskskjdksjdksjskks

Warning: I swear a whole fucking lot

Idk how long it is but it is pretty fluffy and cute! Enemies to lovers! My no.1 au

Ok so you and Mr Kim Doyoung go to the same school/uni idk bro its your imagination I’m just a guideline okay

Y’all generally smart, he’s not in all your classes, just some

Neither of you are TOP of the class like this ain’t some no.1 in the school rivalry I don’t— bitch I don’t have to motivation to even TRY to be no.1 we gotta make this attainable ok?? Y’all just pretty high up there

He sits the table behind you and gets kinda pissed when you laugh obnoxiously with your friends (this is a personal attack @ myself ok)

You try to get along with him but sometimes he just gives you that Look™ where u can tell he’s judging you and thinking ‘damn she dumb wow ok’ (he’s probably not) (maybe a little)

Eventually you gave up because you got exams and fuck I forgot where I was going with this

Oh yeah so y’all just don’t speak. Like you acknowledge each others presences but you just— don’t speak to each other and give each other distasteful looks, you’re not each other’s cups of tea ok fuck it not everyone’s gonna like u suck it up u lil bitch ok I’ll stop

You go to the library to revise for the exams, only free space is next to him so you plop your butt down n get cracking uno

You get stuck on a question and you try textbooks, you try handouts, you try google, you try everything and you just?? Don’t??? Get it???? So you suck up your damned pride and you tap his shoulder like

“Yo so u see this question that we had for homework yeah I don’t understand it, like at ALL, so would you mind helping me please?”

And he just kinda stares at you for a few seconds because he just didn’t,, expect you to actually uno, talk to him never mind like ACTUALLY ask him for help

So he’s like ‘um sure’ ‘okay yeah so you blah blah blah bc the blah blah and the blah blah?’ And you just stare at him for a few seconds back like ‘um what?’

So he takes a deep breath and turns in his seat so he’s facing you more directly and takes the handout from that lesson and explains the whole thing. It kind of seems like he’s getting pissed at your ??? Faces but you don’t say anything because your grades are too important lol

You fiNALLy understand it and say thanks and then continue working

Then it happens agAIN (another day) excEPT ;))) he’s asking yOU for help

I’m making this up as I go along somebody help me

And you really wanna smirk and be all smug but your like to yourself ‘yn, no you gotta CHILL you don’t wanna piss him off’ and you help him anf all is good

THEN the 2 questions you helped each other in came up in the exam and when you get to class you high five because,, uno,, fun!!

So y’all are on an acquaintance level now, and it’s cool, you don’t really speak much but no more distasteful looks thank GOD

Aight so the library stuff doesn’t happen again because, uno, this ain’t to all the boys I’ve loved before ok

We gonna make it kinda realistic

So both of y’all are ill which sucks since y’all did wanna go to school but whatever so you go to your teacher during lunch to get the handout and catchup

Your teacher is like ‘it’s an easy topic I’m sure you guys will get it but how about you sit down and work through it together and if you have questions ask me, ignore the people on the other side of the room they have detention’ 

Your like aight yeet so you mainly work in silence apart from just checking your answers with each other’s until there’s a question where you both got differing answers so you ask the teacher and they’re like ok let’s go through it on the whiteboard and your and Doyoung’s differing points get him rEally confused 

y’all kinda riled up and angry at each other thinking ‘you’re being such a dickhead’ but at each other, with your eyes, idk fam

So the teacher is tryna work it out and you and Doyoung are lowkey/highkey because the passive aggressiveness ain’t subtle insulting each other it was aLL GOING GOOD UNTIL THIS ONE DAMN QUESTION FFS DOYOUNG WHY YOU GOTTA RUIN IT

then one of the kids in the detention are like ‘oooh lovers quarrel’ and snicker so you turn around like ‘bitch come at me do you wanna fight? Like legit I will fight you right now let’s fucking go I’m not joking let’s fucking gO IM READY SQUARE UP MOTHERFUCKER’ ok but obviously less agressive that’s just me and my 4 fire signs

Doyoung is kinda like “?? Why you so sensitive do you like me or something lol and you just give him the bIGGEST EYEROLL LIKE BITCH NOT EVERYTHING’S ABOUT YOU PERHAPS I’M STRESSED BECAUSE IM NOT GETTING THE QUESTION RIGHT DON’T FUCKING FLATTER YOURSELF” and he gets kinda embarrassed and the kids in detention are like ‘oooooh bro you better say sorry or she’ll break up w you’

So you roll your eyes agAIN and mumble ‘just when I started thinking you were actually cool but no you became an arrogant dickhead again, fucking wanker’ y’all I’m sorry I swear too much but there’s nothing I can do

Y’all just sit quietly and the teacher’s like ok start of the next lesson I’ll go through it because I need to ask the other teachers but if y’all are done you can go

So you angrily but quietly pack your shit up and go and Doyoung’s eyes follow you but ofc you don’t notice, you’re angry as shit

When you leave he walks after you and goes “hey y/n Im sorry for pissing you off, but seriously it’s not that deep?” and you just,,,

Because this bitch really hit you with the ‘it’s not that deep’ so you just kinda puff your chest out and walk up to him like ‘excuse you? “It’s not that deep” who do you think you are?’ and he’s just staring down at u 

He doesn’t reply, you’re looking him in the eyes but his eyes are a little lower uno ;))) HE’S STARING AT YOUR SOFT LIPS

So you and your filterless mouth decided to say the first thing that pops in your head and go “Kim Doyoung do you like me?” and he fucking snAPS like his eyes widen and he takes 3 steps back

He has the dumbest face like ‘pshh no where’d you get that idea from?’ 

And you smirk you are sOoooooo smug right now because it all cLICKS NOW

He made a joke saying “do you like me or something” because he wanted to see if you would be up for it and kinda gauge how you feel about him

So you’re like “oh my god Kim Doyoung has a crush on the dumb obnoxious girl who sits in front of him”

And he reddens and quietly says ‘no’ because he wants to deny it but bITCH ITS TOO LATE YOU CAUGHT ON

So u smirk (for the 17th time) and say “we shall see, Kim Doyoung”

And you leave and he’s like scARED SHITLESS BC HE HAS N O IDEA WTF YOU’RE GONNA DO

Y’all roll up to class the next day all chill, neither of you say anything but he’s watching youuuuu and you’re very aware of it so you’re thinking hmm maybe I’ll tease him a little it’d be fun so you go up to ask the teacher a question and as you’re walking back, everyone’s got their head down working uno, you wink at him cheekily and it sends him fucking wiLD like he jumps in his seat and the person sitting next to him is like bro you good???

So he just has to play it off like oh yeah I just thought I saw a spider

Meidbddhsid you love playing with kdy bc you’RE in control now

You maKE the library thing happen again (basically you just willingly sit next to him) because you wanna see him flustered again like when you winked because it’s funny but like,, also,, kinda cute? Shdidbdj Maybe you kinda like him too?? Shut up no you dONT (u totally do)

The ppl who sit closest to you guys in class have kinda noticed this weird energy where y’all don’t speak but you make a lOT of eye contact so they might perhaps bring it up Doyoung and he’s like “whAT no I just- she’s annoying so I- And the lesson- the, Yeah.” 

They just ignore him like fuck it whatever it’s his life

After that class he decides to confront you because he’s a little tired of being teased so he pulls you out of the corridor and into another one after class

He says ‘hey look, yes I like you, I think you’re cute and smart and funny and you might not like me back but I need some kind of answer I’ve been waiting for a while for some kind of answer you know’ 

Suddenly you feel kinda bad for teasing him for such a long time so you go ‘ugh Kim Doyoung you big dope I might kinda maybe like u too? But idk yet? Plus you know school is really important and idk if either of us have time for a relationship…’ and he nods ‘yeah I understand and you’re right actually, wanna walk to the bus stop together?’ 

So you do that but you’re both mainly silent, it’s kinda awkward

Next day you take the seat next to him in the library and maybe just maybe your hands touch a little and you end up going to the library together like everyday almost like a study date

You guys don’t speak you just work together quietly next to each other

And then perhaps get some food after

Maybe even watch a movie every now and then

Perhaps kiss a little ;))

You might not have time for a full relationship but what’s wrong with a little fun??

A/N: I might do a little bonus cutesy scene where y’all hold hands in the library and kiss while having a coffee break

Feedback is very much appreciated and welcomed, or even just a reblog💚

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