#like girl they are in there trying to cause us harm and ruin our lives

[rotting-brains]

some of yall when a persecutor isnt a "misguided protector" or "misunderstood" but a fucking racist

[genderstealer2000]

Okay, i know people have already established how overlooked childrens mental health is, but i wanted to put my view and experiences here. TW! mentions of abuse, substance use, sh, ed my childhood was not great in the slightest. i didnt grow up in a good home, it was mostly filled with drug addicts and loads of abuse. my mother was so preoccupied with other things, she never really acknowledged me and my siblings unless she was angry and yelling at us. she didnt care what happened to us. we were just other people living in her house. if youre going to have kids, treat them the way children should be treated. in all of the homes ive stayed in, ive always felt like a burden. ive always been reminded of who im related to, what has happened to me, and who i am. i want to move past everything, but its hard when my guardians (that willingly took me in) are using my mother to guilt trip me. "youre acting just like your mother." "keep acting like that and you know what youll become?" anytime i try to talk to them about anything, they make it seem catatonic. like im turning into this monster when in reality i just need help. my mother did not pick good partners. they were terrible people, and did terrible things to her, my siblings and me. i watched my mother deal with self harm, and an eating disorder, and she was pressing these things on me and my siblings. granted she wasnt in a good headspace at all, and she was always on something, but that is not appropriate at all to show your kids. and its very hard for me to create relations with the people i live with because of this. i never know whats going to happen, if im going to get punished. my foster families just saw me as another mouth to feed, and now that i live with my adoptive mom, she just says im not trying. they call me selfish for having suicidal thoughts, they call me attention seeking for cvtting, they call me disgusting for making myself throw up. what do they want? anytime i try to communicate my feelings i get shut down! my gender identity was formed from my trauma. i dont feel comfortable in a womans body. the people my mother lived with ruined me. everytime i view myself as a girl i get sick to my stomach. "youre not a boy," not biologically im not, but it helps me to view myself this way because i feel stronger. i dont feel as weak as when those events happened. and we're working on it, im trying to explain things to her and mend our relationship, but she doesnt understand. thats why i want to help her understand. so we can both heal. i think parents (guardians) are too scared to talk about their childrens mental health because they think that theyre the cause of it. even if they are a part of it they SHOULD talk! let it be known. communication is the most important part of a family, or relationships. communication is needed. dont treat your kids horribly. its sad that it has to be said, but they need parents for comfort. they look up to you for guidance, for love and affection. dont make your children feel like a burden. dont make them afraid of you.

[roo-bastmoon]

"I can't stand your kumbaya OT7 fake cheeriness. Be ffr."

First and foremost, I will always advocate that you police your own experience. PLEASE mute / block / unfollow me if my posts (and just my personality in general) are causing you distress. I never wish to be the source of problems in the world. So go with my blessing.

But second...

I hope you know there are some really good REASONS why I'm so "kumbaya" right now.

In my 44 years living on this space rock, I have:

--had a vicious abusive alcoholic parent who broke my nose when I was a kid

--been through my parents' nasty divorce that left us so poor we lived out of a car and ate one meal a day so our cats could have cat food

--developed disordered binge eating because I believed it was necessary during my semi-pro ballet days

--was sexually assaulted by a partner who professed to love me

--had not one but TWO diagnosed narcissistic bosses who made my beloved workplaces hell for years

--survived (so far) uterine cancer which took away my ability to ever be a bio-mom, something I'd always wanted for myself

I look at this laundry list of trauma (for which I am seeing a WONDERFUL therapist) and think to myself:

"Even so, I've lived such a cushy, privileged, safe and happy life. I've got four higher degrees; I've traveled the US and through Europe; I've worked on creative and charitable projects that I'm proud of; I've got a small band of wonderful real-life friends who stuck by me for the past 30+ years. It's been a good and meaningful life."

But I am TIRED of drama and I've had a lifetime supply of harsh words and meanspirited discourse. I'm just so fed up with it. I'm allergic to it now.

I'm not saying we should allow hate and harmful behavior to slide. But here on the internet, we have the power to block and remove anything we don't want to see or be a part of. I WISH we could do that in real life, where the stakes are so much higher.

So for my part, after being in all kinds of internet fandoms since 1999, I've come to the conclusion that I will not hang with mean girls, I will not feed trolls, I will not fight with antis, and I will TRY not to pop off on people who upset me (sometimes menopause gets the better of me, I admit it). Rather, I will just redirect my focus to what brings me joy, I will follow my bliss, I will take revenge by living happily.

And keep in mind... People are human. Fans and members alike are going to have bad takes, bad attitudes, bad days, bad habits. The question is: are they willfully causing harm? If yes, intervention is necessary. If no, then a little grace might be more useful.

I come from three generations of teachers and one of the most important things they've said to me is: Shame is not a teaching tool. It might temporarily change someone's behavior, but more often than not they double down in order to counteract embarrassment. If you want good results, thank a person for trying their best, acknowledge they are likely struggling, and invite them to be the better version of themselves you absolutely know they can be. Sometimes that works.

With ruiners, it doesn't. They just want to ruin things. Ruining things makes them feel powerful, because they cannot create; they can only destroy. It is their only talent. Ruiners invade a space and absolutely delight in ruining it for everyone else. It's a disease and I don't know the cure. The only way I know to counteract a ruiner is to stay in your space and LOUDLY be joyful, be cheerful, focus on what you love, and drown out their vitriol and hate with compassion and love.

So THAT is why I'm so "kumbaya cheerful OT7." Even on days when I would love nothing more than to thrash and whine, I'm trying my best to be a good little oyster and filter out the toxins, so this place remains focused on what matters: supporting BTS and enjoying ARMY.

If after knowing all that, I'm still not your cup of tea? I totally understand and I really don't mind if you need to mute me. This blog is just a hobby, just a place I come to escape the stress of work deadlines and house renovations and sick kitties and my own health issues and real life problems. Probably that's why you're here too. It's meant to be fun and enjoyable. I'm sorry if you don't like me, but... I'll never change all my colors for you.

So go follow your joy and find like-minded blogs. You have my blessing. And maybe we'll meet each other again on down the road, and we'll both be in better places, and we can walk together by then. Either way, you deserve to be happy.

Love, Roo

[pinkcherryblossomangel]

Away from home - Chapter 8

Y/N is an actress, filming for her first lead role in the film adaptation of her favourite childhood book, produced by maximum effort.

She bonds with Ryan Reynolds over their share Love of the Korean pop band Stray Kids, and he has a surprise for her.

Trigger warnings- mentions of depression, self harm and anxiety

Stray kids fan fic

Mainly staring 3ratcha

Chan x oc

This is my first ever fan fiction so if it's shit soz.

He puts his arm around me as we walk to the lift. He's holding my bag, I'm wearing his jumper. It's been 4 weeks of bliss. Now we start his final week on set and I'm dreading everyday after he leaves.

Keith's at the bottom waiting for us. He's one of the only people outside our bubble who know that we've been spending a lot of time together. One evening after a late shoot he picked us up. Chris was supposed to have gone back to the hotel hours earlier, but stayed to spend time with me. Keith said he noticed me falling asleep on Chris's shoulder, and according to Keith he "saw a moonstruck look on the aussies face".

I have a few intense scenes today that I'm proper nervous about. All involving my character coming to terms with her mothers passing. I think Chan can sense this as his hand doesn't leave mine until we make it to the base.

"You good?!" He questions, I can't look up at him, my anxiety taking hold of me. He reaches over to me and lifts my head up gently, tears brimming in my eyes. "Can I hug you?" And with that small ask, the tears start falling, and I pull him into me. We stay here for a few minutes  my body needing to feel his weight against mine, till I remember poor Keith's in the front of the cab, probably feeling incredibly uncomfortable.

"Sorry, keith" tumbles from my lips.

"Don't worry sweetheart, we all feel that way somedays." He smiles in the rear view mirror, his kindness makes my heart swell. "I don't have a buff aussie to hug me through it, so you're lucky there!" Chris laughs and I manage to muster out a giggle. "I'll see you later, keep strong Y/N. You've got this." I mouth thank you into the mirror, no sound managing to leave my lips.

"Do you want me to come into hair and makeup with you?" Chan asks, his hand finding it's way back to mine.

" don't you think people may start to question things?" I let go of his hand, stop us in our tracks and face him. Closing my eyes I finally say what I've been thinking since we first kissed. "I don't want to ruin what we have, but I'd rather do that than ruin your career. I know that a dating scandal can fuck things up for you and the boys and that's not something I could live with causing. You've worked too hard for it all to be ruined by me. And you're far too nice to say..."

I'm cut off by his lips.

Hes kissing me right in the middle of the location base.

"I know we've only known each for a few weeks, but i know you being in my life is worth ruining everything for. Plus Stays aren't like that. They're not gonna leave just cause I'm in love. If anything they'll be happy we're not all bitchless."

" in love?" I ask. I can tell his life flashes before his eyes.

"Falling that way" he replies. I kiss him on the forehead.

"Me too".

-------------------‐--------------

"I just... i can't. She's gone and i don't know what to do. Its like i dont know how to breath without her here. I don't know what to do with all this love and care i have for her, what do i do with it? What do i do with myself?" My head falls into my hands, trying to stop myself from falling apart. Jenna puts her arm around me, pulling me close to her.

"You live for her. You put the love for her into yourself. Isn't that what she'd want you to do? She wouldn't want you to self destruct because she's gone. You know she'd never forgive herself for that. You'd never forgive yourself." I sob into Jennas shoulder, my body convulsing as she strokes my back and hair.

"CUT!" Olivia shouts. "That was good girls. Think we have that wrapped. 30 min break then onto the next scene. Come on guys we've only got 2 hours left today we can do it!"

"You were bloody amazing!" I divulge to jenna. "Needed that hug too" we laugh.

"You never cease to amaze me Y/N. You complimenting me after giving an Oscar worthy performance! Come let's get some food." She throws her arm around me and we walk to craft.

We walk into a makeshift Hall and we're greeted by the 3racha boys and jack all sat together laughing. They wave us over!

"Hey babe" Chris greets me with a smirk and a side hug. Hearing him say those words in front of people gives me a thrill I've never felt before. He keeps grinning up at me, and I can't helped but grin back. I kiss him on this forehead, which elicits a giggle out of changbin and a fake fainting spell from Han. Jack just seems to ignore us and starts talking to Jenna.

" I'll be back in a sec just gonna get some food." I say to Chris. He takes my hand.

"I'll come with", we walk over to the food stand and I pick a fruit salad and one crisps. Chris interrupts my food filled daydream "I saw you filming before." He must seem my worried face as he scrambles. "Just one of your takes, and honestly, I think you are such an incredible actor. " I smile at him, not knowing really how to take the compliment. So I muster out a thanks! He looks at me with such gentle eyes, and I know he means every word said.

"I'm not good with compliments" I admit, going back to the food table. "I think we have that in common don't we?" I tease. He shrugs his shoulders.

"Well I guess we'll have to work on that together."

"I guess we will".

-----------------------------------------

"That's why I rung." My mums face is beaming on the phone screen. Chris is sat next to me, his back so straight and slightly tense. I cant help but laugh to myself, my mum knows I fancied him for ages and there's nothing he could do to embarrass himself in front of her.

"It's lovely to meet you Chris, we'll have to meet in person at some point too!" My mum almost sings

"Yeah deffo. I'm touring for a bit, but we should be having a few stops in the UK and you'll obviously get some free tickets and yeah, I'm looking forward to meeting you too." The words stumble out. Its so sweet how shy he's gotten. "Plus there's the premiere". Giggles leave my mouth as I fawn over how cute he is when flustered.

"I love you mam! I'll be home in a few weeks, give me love to Gran!" I say waving at the camera before hanging up.

Chris's shoulders drop and he falls back on the bed.

"See, she's not scary!" I say to him as I fall back into his arms. He cuddles closer into me, his warmth emanating and comforting me. Feeling safe and loved is unusual, but God does this boy feel like home.

A/N- thanks for all the love on this story! I really appreciate it!

[ic3qu33n]

Its funny how the mind works. I woke up today thinking about a whole life I never lived. I had memories and specific details in my dream that I personally have never witnessed…

Let me explain better. When I was 15 (1999) I wrote a chapter book. It was on an Dell desktop computer that my older brother Daniel had built from spare computer parts.(These parts were coming from computers that at the time were 1-2 years old. Apparently when ever some students had “ruined” the computers at the high school the district would send them a whole new one. And since my brother worked in tech support they told him to recycle them. He did. But not before taking them apart to save working parts)

Anyway, back to my original thought.

This story I had wrote was about a girl named Jo and her 3 brothers who moved from a big city with their mother to the Pacific Northwest after their father died suddenly. The story follows this girl whos life was rocked and trying to find balance and peace when there is so much changing around her. Like having to be the adult because of her mothers crippling grief. Jo meets new friends who become her best support system and teach her how to “feel normal”.

I dont have this book saved anywhere and it doesn’t exist anymore. That computer is long gone. I remember it took me two months that Summer to write it. It was 2-3 hours after summer school every night. I would put on headphones, blasting “Smells like Children” album, (This was my “Alt phase” life) and just typed. I tuned out the world. I know, now, that I was disassociating a lot during this time in my life.

During this time in my life my dad was in jail again. That left my pregnant mom, and us 4 kids to kinda fend for ourselves. We were all living in a 1 bedroom roach infest trailer. (Like we couldn’t have pantry stuff cause the roaches would just get in it) Mom and Vicky slept in the bedroom, Daniel and Michael slept on a bunkbed in the area that should be where you put a kitchen table, and I slept on the couch in the living room. This trailer was so small that it had 1 entrance and that was a sliding glass door in the living room. For this reason I can never live in a manufactured home or trailer. This life experience definitely traumatized me. So when me and Chris were younger (early years of marriage and had two kids under the age of 3) I resented him for putting us in a 1 bedroom trailer. We argued daily, I drank heavily. I had no faith in him being able to care for me and our children. I was hurt and blamed him for my unhappiness for a long time. Anyway I getting sidetracked again.

My mom was working full time at an elementary school. My older brother was working at the high school. I started my job at my uncles Mexican restaurant. (I had to take the city bus and transfer twice to get there) we were doing everything in our power to get a better home without my dads help.

Anyway, I believe I wrote this story as an escape from the overwhelming responsibility that suddenly fell on me. This time in my life changed how I viewed the world. It was the time in my life when I stopped showing my feelings… I stopped smiling, I became cold and I no longer trusted anyone. I had a short fuse and started picking fights with anyone who felt froggy. I was not okay. I also started self harming at this age (it was a pain I could control and understand why I was hurting) I was very angry. I would take walks to the ditch behind our trailer court to break bottles and smoke weed…

My dreams brought me back to this world. I don’t know why after all these years did this specific story come back. I still remember this fictional characters life. Like I said in the beginning of this post, it feels like memories. Its weird because I can visualize this whole world of people that doesn’t exist. It gives me a weird feeling in my chest of almost a longing to go to this place and I can’t. It’s almost the same feeling of missing a relative who has passed and there’s no way you could ever see them again. No new memories. Just people frozen in time.

It’s just weird how your mind works.

[blair-the-juggalho]

How we got here (part 1)

One shot about OCs btwwww Xx TW disturbing imagery at beginning ig

I woke up extra early today, It would’ve had my 15th birthday today. I layed in the sleeping bag we found in this old shed. I looked over to my mates jack and Monica. They look so calm, which is rare these days. I decided that because we didn’t really have any where we had to be, I’d leave them to sleep some more.

I walk over to the very small hole in the wall. I look through to see if there are any walkers. I could see one in the distance. The vacant husk staggers around looking for a meal. I cringe in disgust as it’s decaying skin slowly falls off it’s bones. I try to do what I usually do when I’m sad and think positive. But how do you see the positive in this? I feel myself getting more depressed. I reluctantly wake up Monica and jack to hug them. After getting their affection, I feel a lot better.

“Hey, what’s up?” Jack asks.

“Just one of those moods again.” I answer. Monica rubs my shoulder.

“I guess we should set off moving now.” Monica says. We all start packing up again and we start moving in a random direction.

After a while, we came across a few signs saying that there was a school filled with survivors inside.

“Well should we go?” Jack asks.

“Are you fucking stupid? It could be a trap?” Monica retorts.

“But it could also be legit. I think it’s worth it.” I say.

“Fuck no! We’ve lost so much! I can’t risk you two too.” Monica shouted.

“Moni, I get we’ve lost a lot but we can give up hope in everything.” I said. Monica sighed.

“Fine but if we die or become prisoners it’s on you two.” Moncia sighed. Me and Jack hugged her and then we followed the signs. Suddenly, as we where walking, jack shot up into the air was was suspended from a tree branch by a rope trap. Jack screams and I start laughing.

“See what did I tell you I knew this would all be some big trap!” Monica exclaimed. Suddenly, we heard a twig snap.

“Drop you weapons.” A blonde girl ,who looked our age, ordered. A guy who stood next to her , who was holding a chair leg, just looked at us in shock.

“Ok ok. Are you guys gonna like make us prisoners and shit?” I asked. Monica elbowed me.

“Look we don’t want any harm.” The guy spoke.

“Aye, neither do we. Look we saw those signs and we followed them.” I said.

“Well your either really stupid or you have back up.” The blonde said.

“Oh she’s very stupid!” Jack joked. I playfully punched jack, who was still suspended from the tree. This caused the dude to laugh.

“Look, how about you help us get out friend down and we leave you guys alone.” Monica offers.

“Not gonna happen. What if you guys come back with more people?” The blond responds.

“HAH- we don’t really know that many people. I mean we had some friends until they met Blair and ran off… I don’t really blame them if I’m honest.” Jack joked.

“FELLA IM ACTUALLY GONNA SHA-!” I shouted before Monica intervened.

“you two, will you shut the fuck up for once In you damn lives?!” Monica scold. Me and Jack fell silent. “Sorry Monica.” We both said in sync.

“Look vi, they don’t seem like bad people and I mean they’re are age and all! We can’t leave them out here.” The dude said.

“Well we can’t bring them back without marlons permission, Louis.” ‘Vi’ retorted.

“Well then I’ll stay here and you go back and get him.” Louis said.

“No. I’ll stay here and you go get him.” Vi instructed. Louis nodded and ran back to their base. “Hey listen i know we just met but can you help us get out mate down…I don’t wanna ruin your traps.” I asked.

‘Vi’ dramatically rolled her eyes and helped us get jack down.

“Augh- my head!…thanks though.” Jack said. ‘Vi’ nodded and in perfect timing, Louis came back with who I presume is marlon.

“Hey. “ marlon greets. We all wave to him. “Well I’ll introduce everyone properly, I’m marlon. Im pretty much in charge. That’s Louis.” Louis waved happily. “And this is violet.” She looked at us and nodded.

“I’m Blair. This Monica and jack.” They wave at them.

“Look we’re going to be generous with you.” Marlon said.

“If you want, you can come back to our base we have a group around our age. You can stay for a night or two then we can see how it goes ok?”

Me, Monica, and jack all looked at each other.

“Sick. Cheers fella!” I say smiling.

[gingeraleluke]

𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗱

𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: vinnie hacker x fem!singer!influencer!reader

𝘀𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀: vinnie and y/n’s relationship is suddenly made public.

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: swearing and angsty stuff (panic attacks and death threats) and fluff

𝗔/𝗡: this is super short and sweet but hopefully you guys like it :)

𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄𝘀/𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗯𝗼𝗹𝗱!

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

vinnie and y/n had managed to keep their relationship a secret for almost a year.

almost.

what they didn’t know, was that while they were kissing in his car in the parking lot of the concert venue, a fan had spotted them and took their picture. it was admittedly not the brightest thing for them to do, but after being so lowkey for so long, they just got less and less tense about it.

it was vinnie who was against them being public. he had this twisted vision of the universe trying to split the two of them apart, and it made him overly clingy, like he could lose her at any second.

he attended every concert, every meet and greet, every doctors appointment— just in the background where no one would see. sometimes he’d be up in the balconies while other times he’d stay in the parking lot. he just needed to be near you, or close enough incase anything would happen.

y/n never minded it.

while she did sometimes wonder how different their lives would be if people knew they were together, she took her time with him and stayed at the pace he found comfortable.

y/n was a member of the hype house and her music career didn’t change that. it all came quite easily to her, which caused a lot of drama with chase to spur up, but y/n just stayed out of it. she did in fact sleep in the same bed as vinnie, and they were super affectionate at the house— just not when cameras were rolling.

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

“me and y/n have a very private relationship and we are planning on opening up and becoming public sometime soon, but it is really scary. being in this spotlight can harm individuals, women especially, and i just don’t want to put y/n in a compromising position where she could potentially get hurt. it’s not realistic to keep our relationship a secret, and we know that. we just want to do it right.” vinnie spoke to the camera, knowing that when the show aired, they would be public.

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

vinnie found out first. he was stalling and went downstairs to find something to grab as an excuse for going down there. thomas noticed how quiet he was and asked him what was wrong.

“i dunno, i just hate everything and everybody.”

he did know what was wrong. he just couldn’t tell anyone before he spoke to y/n about it.

the video of them kissing was all over twitter and they were already a trending topic. vinnie was on the verge of a panic attack but he knew that she deserved to hear it from him instead of finding it on her own.

“it’s gonna be okay, vin.”

“no it’s not, i fucked everything up. i should have just waited to kiss you when we got home and i should have ducked down so they wouldn’t see—“ he was pulling at his hair and trying not to hyperventilate.

“vinnie, none of this is your fault! nothing bad happened, it’s okay!” she held onto him and let him fall into her embrace.

“everything is ruined.”

“no it’s not—“

“you’re gonna leave me.”

“no-no im not, vinnie! why would i leave you? i love you, i’m in love with you. i’m not going anywhere, love!” she was flushed with emotions while vinnie cried in her arms.

“baby, i mean this in the best way, you’re over reacting. nothing is gonna change between us, if anything, it’s gonna get better!” y/n pleaded, combing through his hair and rubbing his back as he sobbed.

she had seen vinnie cry before, but it didn’t make her feel it any less. she knew he was scared of losing her. he was scared of fucking everything up and having her fall victim to some of his crazy fans, but that was a price he and her were willing to pay.

“no it’s not, you’re gonna get girls in your dms telling you to kill yourself and shit and i’m gonna feel responsible for it and i just can’t believe i was so stupid, y/n.” he whined, sitting up and wiping away the few tears that fell. he didn’t want to seem like a complete mess.

“vinnie, i don’t care. i don’t care about anything but you, right now, and i promise it’s all worth it. i don’t regret anything.”

“you’re trending right now.”

“so? let me trend.”

“you’re really okay with this?”

“yes!” she smiled, kissing vinnie on the forehead.

“god, i feel sick.” he got up and grabbed a blanket, oblivious to the conversation going on downstairs.

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

“have you guys checked twitter?” thomas asked, his eyes almost popping out of his head. his phone was already flooded with messages about how vinnie and y/n were spotted kissing.

“no, why?” kouvr asked.

“vinnie and y/n got caught kissing and it’s all over twitter.”

“oh god..” mia groaned, lifting her legs up so thomas could walk by and sit beside her. “is that why they are cooped upstairs?”

“must be.” he messaged vinnie quickly.

vinnie:

hey, you okay?

what u saw?

fuck

don’t say anything to y/n, i’m telling her right now

u don’t think she’ll leave the house, right?

no dude why would she

it was an honest mistake

idk i’m assuming that she’s already getting death threats from girls but i’m too scared to look

is it bad?

kinda

it’s not as bad as you’re thinking though

is y/n okay?

yes

she’s handling this better than i am 😐

dude i feel so fucking guilty

i saw the camera

i just didn’t think anything i wasn’t thinking

ur good bro

i don’t know how you managed to hide it for this long anyways

don’t get too stressed about it

you’ll trend for a day or two and then it’ll all be over and everything will be back to normal

just shut your phone off and chill with ur girl

yeah

yeah you’re right

i just feel so anxious and guilty

she’s kissing me and telling me it’s not my fault but man it fucking feels like it is

does everyone else know?

yeah

don’t worry about filming tiktoks tomorrow or anything

i’m giving you a free pass

just let it all die over and then you guys will be good

i know how scary it is trending like that but it’s not bad i promise. a lot of people are supporting you guys and this might make more business for y/n by increasing her album sales. just find the silver linings.

you okay man?

yeah

thank you 🙏 i love you bro for real

love you too man we all do ❤️

think of it this way, now you guys can kiss in public! 🔥

◦◦,`°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°`,◦◦

“he said ‘now you guys can kiss in public.’” vinnie laughed, tilting his phone so y/n could see. he decided not to stream and the two of them were watching tv together, both of them tired as fuck but also somewhat on edge.

“it’s so weird to think that people know we are together.” y/n gushed.

“yeah, i know..”

“now they know who i write love songs about!” smiling, she pressed her nose up against vinnie’s. the initial shock of the situation wore off and the two of them were in their own little bubble.

his hand was placed on her hip and she had a firm grip on the hoodie he had on over his tank top. maybe them being public wasn’t as scary as they thought it would be. then again, it is just the two of them in their bedroom, the same way it always had been. so what if people knew? it didn’t change the way they spent their time together or the connection they shared.

the truth was, they were scared that the public would try and break them down, popping their bubble and ruining the intimacy they shared, but that wasn’t the case. it didn’t matter what happened on the outside of their little world, they still had each other.

they were always gonna have that little bubble.

“yes, to many more of those, my love.”

━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━

@pisceslibrasun @jjmayba @littlewolfieposts @burn1ngw00d @radioblah-blah @janesofia7 @sofslander

[robininthelabyrinth]

Jiang Cheng is taken to Nightless City, not Lotus Pier, after being captured by the Wens

ao3

“Why’d you bring him here?” Wen Xu asked. His eye was twitching, which didn’t look healthy.

Actually, he just…didn’t look very healthy at all, really. His skin was off-color and he had circles suggesting he hadn’t slept in too long; he’d lost weight, too. Unlike Wen Chao, who was positively bursting with good humor now that he’d personally ‘won’ a great victory, he looked as though he weren’t having a good time at all.

“Why not?” Wen Chao said carelessly. “He’s the last heir of the Jiang sect, once I track down that stupid girl, and it’s not like he’s a threat; he’s got no cultivation left, courtesy of Wen Zhuliu. I can put him on display.”

“Like an animal in a menagerie? You’ve got to be joking.” Wen Xu was scowling. “Do you know the trouble he could make for us if he escaped? A living heir – even without a golden core, he can still sire the next generation. He’s practically a symbol of rebellion!”

“Oh, don’t be such a stick in the mud. Father will enjoy it.”

“If he escapes, that undermines our credibility, injures morale,” Wen Xu argued. “Our troops are fighting for us because they see us as the sun in the sky, and if we slip up…the enemy will know that as well as I. There are spies everywhere. We’ll be facing a non-stop wave of rescue attempts!”

“And we’ll repel them all! Anyway, you’re exaggerating –”

“I am not –”

“What is the cause of all this noise?” a low, calm voice drawled from the door to the hall, causing Wen Chao and Wen Xu to all but trip over themselves in order to salute.

Jiang Cheng, bound and beaten bloody, without even his cultivation, utterly helpless, turned his head slowly, not wanting to draw attention to himself. That was Wen Ruohan himself standing there, cruel smirk twisting his lips – the man who had ordered the burning of the Cloud Recesses, the man who had ordered the massacre of the Lotus Pier, the man in whose name all these terrible things were done.

Both Wen Chao and Wen Xu tried to explain at once, and Wen Ruohan listened to his sons, looking thoroughly disinterested.

“A captive like this can be kept as a prize, but not displayed,” he finally said, sounding bored. “A-Xu is right, if they know we have him, they’ll only try to rescue him…still, there’s no harm in keeping him for now; he might be useful someday. Who can tell..?”

“I got him as a present for you,” Wen Chao blurted out. “Father –”

“If you want to impress me, bring me Nie Mingjue,” Wen Ruohan said. “Alive, and in chains. Whoever does that will win my esteem.”

“But – Father –”

“As for this one, I care far less. Figure it out between you.”

With a dismissive wave of his hand, Wen Ruohan left.

“Now you’ve gone and ruined it,” Wen Chao said to Wen Xu resentfully. “It was going to make him happy, and now he’s just back on the same old thing about Chifeng-zun…you deal with him.”

“Me? He’s your prisoner!”

“Yes, well, now I don’t want him any longer,” Wen Chao tossed his head. “You ruined all the fun of it – anyway, you’re the one who cares about whatever rescue attempts or whatnot. I’ve had my fun, I’m done…you do the rest.”

“A-Chao!” Wen Xu shouted, but Wen Chao clearly didn’t care. He’d turned his nose up and marched away down the hall. “Damn, A-Chao!”

But he was gone.

Wen Xu scowled after his younger brother, then turned back, his gaze dropping down to regard Jiang Cheng.

“Fuck,” he said, fervently, and for a crazy moment Jiang Cheng felt something almost like fellow-feeling, a wholly unexpected and unwelcome stab of sympathy for someone else who had to deal with a complete lunatic for a brother, always stuck being the one to clean up the mess…but that was completely crazy. This was Wen Xu. “Where can I even put you that people won’t immediately know who you are?”

He thought about it for a moment, then reached out and nudged at Jiang Cheng’s side with his shoe, making Jiang Cheng hissed a little in pain.

“Do you require a doctor?” he demanded.

Jiang Cheng had no idea what to say about that. He’d been hit by the Jiang sect’s discipline whip – he’d need a doctor for some time yet. Everyone knew those wounds never healed right…and that was for cultivators, a class to which he no longer belonged.

“Fuck,” Wen Xu said when Jiang Cheng didn’t respond. “All right. Fine. I can – deal with this. You…fine.”

That completely incomprehensible stream of words finished, he reached down and scooped Jiang Cheng into his arms as if he were some weak young lady, then strode off purposefully.

“Stupid A-Chao,” he was mumbling, not paying any attention to Jiang Cheng. “Stupid, stupid A-Chao…as soon as someone doesn’t have their golden core, he stops thinking of them as a threat. Stupid! People are capable of so much more than just cultivation…”

Jiang Cheng stared up at Wen Xu’s chin, the only part of him he could really see from this angle, and wondered a little. He’d certainly assumed that he’d become wholly useless once he lost his golden core – his parents had both stressed cultivation as one of the most important things in life, all about being the best, cultivating the most, and he’d spent his whole life working as hard as he could on building his core, forming it and then strengthening it, refining it. And yet here Wen Xu was, speaking as though he thought Jiang Cheng was something to fear.

As though he were still dangerous.

From anyone else, Jiang Cheng would have assumed it was simply pity or an attempt to comfort him. But Wen Xu could have no such motives – Wen Xu was the enemy.

Wen Xu kicked open a door and put Jiang Cheng down on a bed.

“Stay here,” he said, as if Jiang Cheng had any idea where he was or any inkling of where he could run to even if he wanted to, and left once more.

Jiang Cheng glanced around the room he’d been left in. It was one room off of a large and spacious courtyard, luxurious but oddly impersonal, as if all the signs of personality had been shoved away and hidden for fear that they’d bee seen.

Not long after, Wen Xu reappeared with a woman, who looked annoyed.

“This isn’t why I came back from Yiling, you know,” she said reproachfully. “I could be doing actual work there. Running a Supervisory Office isn’t like having a vacation…”

“A-Qing, please,” Wen Xu said, and she fell silent. “Just…take a look at him, all right? I’ll handle the rest myself. I don’t want anyone knowing he’s here, not even the servants…I trust you, though.”

“Emotional blackmail is cheap,” Wen Qing grumbled, but Jiang Cheng could tell she was convinced. “Fine. Are you really planning to care for him yourself, though? I mean, keeping him in your own bedroom? This was supposed to be a place for one of your concubines.”

“The last one that got shoved in here committed suicide,” Wen Xu said stiffly. “They usually do, once Father’s done with them, and it’s not like I’m going to take one willingly. The room’s empty, he might as well use it, and this way we can keep his presence here secret.”

“Aren’t you worried he’ll try something?” she asked, and Jiang Cheng wondered again what it was that made all these powerful scions of the Wen sect look at him, beaten bloody and robbed of his golden core, and see something worth worrying about.

What did they see in him that he didn’t?

“I’ll handle it,” Wen Xu said shortly. “Don’t I always handle it?”

She was quiet for a moment. “You’re still not sleeping, are you? Those nightmares of yours –”

“It’s a weakness I can’t afford, A-Qing. Father could order me back to the army any day.”

“I can try to talk to him. Make him leave off, at least for a little while…I don’t like the thought of you going up against Chifeng-zun. Uncle wouldn’t be nearly as obsessed with him if he wasn’t actually as good as they all say he is.”

Wen Xu laughed without humor. “I’ve fought him a few times before, friendly spars in discussion conferences. I know exactly what our skill levels are. That’s why I can say with a great deal of certainty that if he gets anywhere near me, he’ll chop off my head without blinking twice, and there’ll be exactly shit all I can do about it. But Father won’t care. I doubt he’ll even notice – no, I’m wrong. He will notice, in the sense that it’ll make him all the more desperate to capture Chifeng-zun.”

Jiang Cheng wouldn’t have believed that any father, no matter how negligent, would be so indifferent as Wen Xu was describing, but the other man seemed sure, and Wen Qing didn’t look like she disagreed.

“I’ll talk to him,” Wen Qing insisted. “I’ll tell him something.”

“Like what?”

She glanced around, then looked down at Jiang Cheng.

“I’ll tell him you’re working on the Jiang heir,” she said, and looked away from Jiang Cheng as if she couldn’t bear to hear what she was saying, even though she was still saying it. “Breaking his spirit, molding him into something we can use in the future. He’ll like that.”

Wen Xu scoffed. “Right, and then A-Chao will tell him that he’s already had Wen Zhuliu melt his golden core and it’ll all be a waste of time. He’ll just laugh at me and send me out to die all the faster.”

“Not if I can find a way to fix it,” she said.

“Fix it? Fix what?” Wen Xu blinked. “You’re not serious. His golden core?”

“Why not?” Wen Qing asked, tossing her head, sounding haughty and arrogant like all the Wens – but her words lit a fire in Jiang Cheng’s heart. She actually sounded confident, like she thought she could do it. “Listen, cousin, I’m not about to lie down and resign myself to losing you; you’re the only one in the main branch worth anything. You do your part, I’ll do mine.”

“No one can resurrect a golden core that’s been melted,” Wen Xu protested, but even as Jiang Cheng watched he could see him being swept away by her enthusiasm. “Anyway, I don’t actually know how to break a man. I never went in for that Fire Palace stuff, not the way A-Chao did.”

“Well, get over it,” she said shortly. “I don’t care if you beat him every day or dress him up in veils and take him as your concubine – just find a way to make Uncle believe that you’re sincerely devoted to the task and I’ll get him to leave you alone, and find a way to fix that golden core problem, too. Just stall, you hear me? Stall.”

“…fine. Will you take a look at him now?”

Wen Qing pulled out her needles and Jiang Cheng didn’t even have time to move before he was completely paralyzed, feeling more than seeing her hands loosening the rope around him and start an examination as impersonal and efficient as any doctor. He didn’t care, though – he wasn’t going to escape this himself, he knew that already.

He wasn’t even going to try.

Not when staying meant that Wen Qing could find him a way out of his current predicament, not when staying meant the chance to figure out from Wen Xu what exactly it was that he saw in Jiang Cheng…maybe he could even find some of those spies Wen Xu had spoken so fearfully of and pass information along to them.

Maybe he could still do something, after all.

[blu-joons]

When He Holds His Child For The First Time ~ SF9 Reaction

Inseong:

Your hand pointed to Inseong as soon as the midwife turned around with your daughter, ready with the important question. “Who’s going to go first?”

Inseong’s mouth opened to speak, but the midwife was already following the direction of your pointed finger. “No, Y/N, it’s only right that you go first.”

“No, it’s not, I want you to be the first one Inseong.”

Shaky arms stretched out as the midwife began to hang your daughter over. “Am I doing it right?” He instantly asked, terrified of messing something up or causing harm.

“Relax,” you giggled, “you’re doing a good job.”

“But she’s so small,” Inseong whispered, trying to keep calm as the midwife moved her arms away. “I don’t think I’m ever going to get used to this feeling, being a father already feels so cool.”

“You’re doing great,” you encouraged as Inseong walked across to you, “that little girl has no idea how lucky she is to have you in her life.”

“She’s very lucky,” Inseong agreed, “but not because she has me, but because she has you, an incredible mother.”

“An incredible mother because I’ve got an incredible partner too.”

Youngbin:

Your smile grew as Youngbin’s eyes looked to you, barely able to believe the little one in front of him. “It certainly looks as if she’s taken a shine to you.”

His head nodded, unable to quite believe what was happening. “I don’t think I want time to end for a long time, can we stay here, right now, forever?”

“The first hold is always going to be the best hold.”

Youngbin nodded once again, smiling down at her barely open eyes. “If I hold onto her forever then it’s always going to be my first hold of her, and always special too.”

“What about me?” You joked, “I want a hold too.”

“You’ve carried her for nine months, it’s my turn now,” he teased, holding her a little bit tighter, “I’ve laid by her side for months, desperate to be able to have a moment like this with her.”

“At least whilst you hold her, she can’t kick you like she did me in here,” you pointed out to him, tapping against your tummy softly.

“You can hold her soon,” Youngbin assured you, “I just don’t think I’m ready to let her go just yet, not for a while.”

“It’s alright, I’m in no rush, take your time with her properly.”

Jaeyoon:

It all felt surreal as your son was placed against Jaeyoon’s chest, curling up straight away against his skin. “See, you look like a complete natural straightaway.”

Jaeyoon wasn’t quite sure what to do as he looked across at you, “I feel like I’m in a bit of a dream right now having our son here after so long of waiting.”

“We’ve definitely waited a while for this moment to arrive.”

His head nodded in agreement, staring back down at your son. “I can’t believe how innocent he is; he has no idea of the amount of love so many already have for him.”

“Are you getting emotional?” You teased, “is the joker crying?”

“Perhaps,” he chuckled back at you, trying to keep himself together. “I wish I had something funny to say right now, but my heart is too full to even try and ruin this moment that we’re in.”

“You’re doing a good job,” you smiled across at him, “make sure that he enjoys the quiet now before he has to live with all of your stupid dad jokes.”

“They’re not stupid,” Jaeyoon tried to argue, “he’s going to have a great sense of humour just like his daddy does.”

“It already sounds like I’m in trouble with you two.”

Dawon:

Helpless eyes looked across at you as soon as you suggested to Sanghyuk holding your daughter. “There’s no need to look so afraid, it’s easy.”

Sangyuk continued to stare back at you, with a soft shake of his head. “She looks comfortable with you right now, let’s give it a little bit more time first.”

“You can’t put off holding your daughter forever you know.”

He sighed softly, looking down at the sleeping baby that you held. “I’m just scared of doing something wrong, what if I drop her or something like that?”

“That won’t happen,” you smiled, “just don’t stress.”

“Easy for you to say,” he responded, already finding himself moving forwards, as did you too. “How am I even supposed to hold my hands, where do you support a baby when holding them?”

“Calm down,” you assured him, resting your daughter into his extended arms, “just keep her nice and secure and you’ll be absolutely fine with her.”

“Secure,” he repeated, moving her tightly into his chest, “am I doing it right? Do I look the same as when you hold her?”

“You’re doing fine, and she’s still asleep, so it’s perfect.”

Zuho:

Your eyes instantly looked to Juho as you heard him whisper your name. “What is it?” You questioned, naturally feeling yourself panic.

His mouth was wide open, eyes staring down at awe. “He just looked at me and smiled, I’m sure that was a smile, do you think he knows who I am?”

“He’s listened to your voice for nine months; I expect he can.”

“Really?” Juho quizzed, not expecting that to be your response. “But I thought that was just an old fable about babies hearing voices in the bump.”

“It’s true,” you laughed, “but you never believed me.”

“I’m beginning to believe it now with these beautiful eyes staring back up at me,” he admitted, unable to look in your direction. “I just want to stay in this moment with him forever.”

“We’ve got years ahead of us for many moments like this,” you assured him, “with you as his dad, he’s always going to stare at you in awe.”

“I never imagined that anyone could steal my heart as quickly as this, he’s just too cute,” Juho then whispered.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you as soft as this either.”

Rowoon:

You couldn’t help but chuckle at the difference between Seokwoo and your daughter as he held her into your chest. “You make her look so small.”

His eyes looked down at the sleeping bundle that he held in his arms. “I’m too scared to move in case I do anything, she’s so fragile and small Y/N.”

“You won’t hurt her, you’ve just got to be careful, that’s all.”

“I feel like I’m too tall to hold a baby,” he softly laughed, careful not to disturb her sleep. “I don’t want to be the reason that she wakes up too.”

“It’ll be alright,” you assured him, “if she wakes, she wakes.”

“You make it all sound so easy,” he sighed, looking back across the room to you, “I feel like I’ve just been thrown in at the deep end, suddenly I have so much responsibility for this little one.”

“And I know that you’ll do a great job too,” you encouraged, offering Seokwoo a smile. “It’s natural to feel worried at the very start, I am too.”

“Why?” He questioned, “you seem to have everything so under control, and I’m just one big mess right about now.”

“I’m hiding it well, that’s the difference between us.”

Yoo Taeyang:

As soon as the door had closed, your eyes looked to Taeyang as finally the three of you were left alone. “Do you want to hold him for a bit?”

His eyes widened, looking between you and your son. “But the midwife told you to have him for a while, skin to skin contact is good for you both.”

“He should have contact with you too, not just me Tae.”

You were stubborn, which he knew, not even attempting to argue with you. “If she tells us off for this, then I’m definitely putting all the blame on you.”

“That’s fine,” you smiled, “I take full responsibility.”

“Alright,” Taeyang whispered, taking his shirt off, pulling his chair closer towards you. As you leant forwards and placed your son into his arms, a loud gasp came from Taeyang at his first touch.

“Support his bum,” you instructed, reaching across to help Taeyang place his arms in the right place, “he’s so tiny, especially in your strong arms.”

“I can’t believe he’s so small,” Taeyang whispered, staring down at him, “how do we manage to do this?”

“We’re just such a good team, that’s exactly how.”

Hwiyoung:

As you began to stir from your sleep, your heart couldn’t help but sink as you saw Youngkyun in front of you. “They let you hold her?”

His head nodded with a soft smile, “you looked too peaceful asleep to wake up, do you want to hold her for a bit? I’ve had her in my arms for a little while.”

“I wanted to be able to see you hold her for the first time.”

He was helpless as he stared back at you. “I couldn’t say no to the midwife when she handed her over, it all happened a bit too quickly. I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine,” you sighed, “it’s not that big of a deal.”

“It’s more important that you hold her anyway,” he spoke up as he began to approach you, “the midwife did say that it wouldn’t be too long before we could try feeding for the first time.”

“That’s so scary,” you sighed, pushing yourself upright so that Youngkyun could place her against your chest. “What am I supposed to do?”

“Do whatever feels right,” he encouraged, “you’ve always had maternal instincts, so this will be easy for you Y/N.”

“I just don’t want to be the one to mess things up.”

Chani:

Your eyes instantly looked to Chanhee as the midwife turned around with your son in her arms. “Who’s going to be the first one to step up?”

Chanhee’s eyes flickered down to you, surprised to see you already staring across at him. “It should be you, you’re the one that just gave birth to him Y/N.”

“No, you hold him first, I know how excited you are.”

His head reluctantly nodded, taking a step towards the midwife, “what am I even supposed to do?” He questioned, beginning to feel himself getting quite frantic.

“Take a breath,” you called out to him, “it’s fine.”

“Deep breath,” he spoke to himself, extending his arms out as your son was placed into them, letting go of a sharp intake of breath. “Gosh, he’s beautiful, Y/N we really do make good babies together.”

“Let me see,” you whispered across to him, shuffling along the bed to make room for them both. “He looks so tiny, and you look so big.”

“He’s so delicate,” Chanhee whispered, “I can’t believe we get to be the ones to see such a tiny little human grow.”

“He’s going to grow up being one very spoilt kid.”

---

Masterlist

[kpop-dungeon-dark]

REQUEST (Nerd!Felix/Yongbok x You)

•TRIGGER WARNING•

Warning(s): Non-Con, humiliation, degradation, brat taming, watersports, breath play, rough filthy shit. Read at own risk.

"If that isn't our little Yongbokkieeee~" Felix sighed and shut his eyes tightly when he heard the familiar dreadful voice from behind, holding the straps of his school bag even tighter. "Aigoooi~ aren't you in a hurry, foreign booooy?" Her perfectly manicured hand placed on the boy's shoulder, pulling him back.

"Let go, Y/n-ah…" The boy spoke, trying his best not to snap at the little slut. She was so foolish. A fucking clown. A narrow minded little racist bitch. That's what.

"Ahhhh… your Korean is soooo adorable…" Before she moved to stand in front of him, heavy tits tightly packed in her school shirt, the first few buttons up. "What's the rush, Aussie boy? Too proud to make friends? Tsk, tsk!" Felix felt like smacking her infuriatingly cute little face.

"You know it's not like tha-"

"LISTEN UP, EVERYONE!" Y/n clapped and got everyone's attention, the whole hallway of students going home stopping to look at her. "OUR FOREIGN BOY DOESN'T WANNA BE FRIENDS~" she pouted as if it really hurt her. "HE AVOIDED ME ALL DAY IN SCHOOL TOO! HOW PROUD, TSK!" Everyone booed him, calling him names and whatnot. It was terrible.

Had he known moving to Korea was going to be like this he'd have never agreed. They made fun of his looks, his accent, the grammatical errors he made and his English name that he preferred. Even though Felix was using his English name in his documents now that he was all grown up, Y/n had somehow learnt his Korean one and she wasn't going to let him live it down.

"Aigo what a loser" splashing the juice in her hand at his shirt, the girl clicked her tongue and walked away while laughing, leaving the boy in absolute despair due to how badly it stained his shirt.

He didn't want to hurt her because she was clearly fucking naive and dumb but fuck. Y/n was making it fucking hard.

.

Felix checked his room one last time to make sure it was clean and smelt nice with just the right amount of ventilation. Setting his books up on the foldable desks he'd set up on the bed, the boy opened up the other desk too. His mom had asked him if he could teach her bestfriend's child some English as they were apparently in the same year as him. The boy was happy to help and agreed so now his mom's friend was going to drop the kid off at their house that he didn't know anything about.

And who else could it be other than the one and only. How fucking cliche.

The male was unsure of how to act when he heard his mom's voice and another women's before his door was knocked, opening as Mrs. Lee along a stern looking tall and built women in a police uniform appeared.

Felix got up and respectfully bowed to the women as she greeted him back, her friendly smile really unusual for her stern features. "Hello, dear. Thank you so much for your kind gesture. I've been looking for a good teacher for quite some time now but my child is… slow." She chuckled. "Maybe it'd be easier for her if someone her age teaches her…"

"Oh, of course. No problem at all. I'd be actually very happy to help. That way I get to revise too and study from a different perspective, ma'am." He didn't know why, but he couldn't stop the smirk from appearing on his face. Oh. She was trying her best to hide behind her mother but Felix had seen the pathetic little girl.

Oh how fucking perfect.

"Ah I hope my kid can learn well from you in not just academics but manners too… Now! Y/n-ah- where…" Her mother looked for her before turning around to find her hiding, gripping her wrist and pulling her in front of the taller boy. "There you are. Now… learn well okay? Felix will take well care of you" her mother glanced at the boy and he nodded, bowing a little bit as he said of course.

Y/n was trying not to die as she was made to stand right in front of fucking Yongbok out of all! How was she so stupid?! She should have put two and two together! Oh fuck! This was bad! This was terrible for her image! Now he knew that she was looking for tuition and not all that careless about studies as she seemed to act like back in school. And she also wasn't a badass in her private life.

Fuck.

"Be good. I'll pick you up on my way back, alright?" The girl had non-existent balls to brat with her mother as she was a firm police woman and knew how to get brats going. She had gotten enough harsh punishments from her mom to even dare to try. Y/n did her best to pretend to be a good kid. Or her mom had threatened to send her off to juvi or a boarding school! "Hm?"

The girl whimpered, feeling the boy's gaze burn into her very soul. "Y- Yes, mommy." She could only whisper back, head lowered all the way.

"Good baby. Now give mommy a kiss." Y/n could die of embarrassment right now, her cheeks burning as she felt humiliated. Oh she had no idea what was coming her way. This was nothing. Her mother still treated her like a 4 year old baby and not like she was 18. It was so fucking stupid!

"Y- Yes, mommy…" There was no use hiding. Yongbok could see it all and he was quietly observing it. Standing on her tippy toes because of being much smaller than her mom, Y/n kissed her cheek. "Bye, mommy." The copper ruffled her daughter's head before leaving with Felix's mother who was also dressed for work.

Lowering her head even more when it was just the both of them, Y/n held her bag right as she didn't turn around, not wanting to face the smug boy, whimpering when he stepped forward to close his door.

"She… doesn't know, does she?" Felix's deep voice pierced through her soul as he turned around to look down at her now, grinning wide. "Tsk… look at this cute little turtleneck and long skirt… those baby shoes and these pigtails…" Y/n felt her heart starting to pound when he suddenly tugged at her twin ponytails, her cheeks feeling even hotter in pure humiliation. "If only you were actually a good babygirl like your 'mommy' thinks and not a skimpy little slutty whore ridiculing people for no fucking reason at school" clicking his tongue, the boy walked to his bed and plopped on it in a relaxed manner, well aware that he had her exactly where a bitch like her should be. "I wonder how she will react if she finds out that you are actually-"

"N- NO PLEASE!" Y/n finally found her voice and rushed to him, helplessly pleading. "PLEASE DON'T TELL M- MOMMY! I- I AM SORRY!" She struggled, not knowing what to say. This was so awkward and strange. Something she'd never thought of. Fuck.

"Ahhh so you really are an all talk whore, tsk. Acting all cool and fearless in school but actually a pathetic little mommy's baby." Felix chuckled tauntingly and shook his head, eyes cold. Months. She'd been troubling him for months simply because he was a foreigner and made mistakes in Korean. "Come here, let me see. I wouldn't be surprised if you're also wearing a nappy under that cute skirt. Do you need a change?" He teasingly went to grab her arm which caused the girl to stagger backwards.

"N- No! No, Y- Yon- Felix! I- I swear I am not! I am not wearing a-- p- please! Don't do this! I- I won't bother you again! You don't even have to tutor me! Just please don't tell mom!" Y/n hated how pathetically she had to beg him.

"Ah… so it's suddenly Felix now, huh?" The male chuckled before speaking again. "Since I am not a pathetic slut like you, I won't tell your mom but in exchange, you'll have to be good for me. If you oblige, good. If you don't, I'll have to tell her, little one. Because what you're doing will end up harming someone really bad."

The girl desperately dropped her bag, sitting in his feet and holding his knees. "Y- Yes! Yes! Alright! I'll be good! I'll do whatever you want! Just don't tell mom! I don't wanna go to juvi or boarding-" her eyes widened before she slapped her mouth shut. Oh no! She didn't just tell him that!

Felix threw his head back and laughed. "Ahhh so it's like that, I see…" He was enjoying this. Looking down at her, Felix felt something stir inside him as his eyes got darker. She looked so fucking perfect kneeling under him like this. It was getting so hard to hold back now that he had her. "Fine. If you don't want to go to boarding or juvi, you'll have to be my little fuck piggy. And when I say that, I mean it. You'll be my literal plaything and there will be no denying my orders. You'll have to obey and be good like a brainless little slave doll… You will only know what I allow. You will only do as I say. No using your own brain, not that it is very smart anyway… That is the price." He had always had… dark desires. Which was one of the reasons he'd never dated much. But when Felix had seen Y/n all those months ago in school for the first time, he had unintentionally imagined how it would feel to ruin her to the point of despair before building her back up.

And now that he was so close to having it. Fuck. The boy was going insane.

Y/n nodded slowly, tears forming in her eyes as she bit her lip. "Y- Yes, I… I agree. I- I'll be your d- doll, Felix… J- Just please d- don't tell anyone… I- I beg you… I- I don't wanna g- go to boarding or…" A sob left her, his finger catching her tear amidst of falling down.

This was so wrong. But she deserved it. Felix was absolutely disgusted by bullies.

"Don't worry. Like your mother said, I'll take goood care of you." The naive girl had no idea what she had signed herself up for or just what his words meant. "Then… why don't you prove your worth by getting up and stripping to let me see my belongings... And, get those dirty little hands off. Fuck toys don't deserve to touch Master unless allowed." Felix swatted them off.

"W- What? M- Master…? S- Strip?" Y/n was lost.

"What else did you think? Some Wattpad romance where I make you my little sidekick or something before I confess that I've liked you all along?" Raising an eyebrow he pushed her back. "Get to it."

"B- But F- Felix-!"

"It's Master!" The male firmly spoke as he glared down at her, yanking one of her pigtails. "Come on now… time's running and we don't have all day my little toy. You better start behaving before it's too late…" Her sobs and tears satisfied him so much.

Y/n slowly got up with her head lowered, trembling as she stepped out of her shoes, slowly pulling her socks off. "I- I can't believe I am doing this in front o- of you.." She whispered while struggling to not collapse on her knees, literally shivering under his firm gaze.

"I also couldn't believe a person as rotten as you existed." Before he grabbed the hem of her dress, pulling her closer and snorting when she gasped, flinching when he leaned back again. Felix's foot trailed up her shaking leg, the top of his foot rubbing against her covered core before he grabbed the waistband of her panties with his toes, pulling them down from under the skirt. "Ahh… so little girl's mommy really doesn't put her in nappies, I see…" Before he looked back up at her face, his foot resting on the underwear between her ankles now. "Skirt off now."

The girl was wiping at her tears as she shakily undid the skirt before letting it fall, her heart pounding even harder when the cold air attacked her core before he made her pull her shirt up and off, suddenly ripping her bra off which caused her to scream.

"Tsk… you sure are jumpy and scaredy for how tough you act." The boy shook his head, feeding off her misery. "Pick that underwear up." Y/n reached for it when he finally removed his foot from the top of it, stepping out of it and picking it up, even her ears red now out of humiliation. "Put it on your head." Another sob left her as he pinched and played with her breast, loving the authority he had over her.

"Fe- M- Master…" Shaking her head, she tried to back away but Felix wasn't having it.

"What did I just fucking say?!" He snapped, towering over her when the boy stood up, making her cower down before she put the smelly article over her head, biting her lips to stop her sobs from escaping. "Such a good toy…" Felix cooed this time, rubbing her head as he pulled it down and covered her eyes with the waistband, pulling her pigtails out of the sides.

"Fuck… you look good. Just how a dumb brainless slut should look." Fishing his phone out, he smirked. "This proves how you've no problem with being brainless. You look fucking retarded but you're doing it because Master said it. That's exactly what this is about. Obedience" before he suddenly kissed her briefly, making her gasp.

"Now~ smile wide for a picture…" Before he turned the camera on and stepped back, making sure her whole body was in frame. Fuck. Felix was so fucking painfully hard. "Come on… don't be shy" he taunted when she sobbed in protest, making him switch to video instead. "Fine, then." His taunting smile dropped to a firm expression as he approached her, placing his feet on hers before he smacked her face, catching it all on camera.

"Aigooo~" he mimicked her, smacking her other cheek, uncovering her eyes but still keeping the underwear on her head. He decided that it will be a new style for her. "Look at this whore~" Y/n's flushed cheeks now received some more slaps before he placed his hand on her nose and pushed it back, chuckling loudly. "Awww such a cute little fuck piggy we have here… she loves this doesn't she?" When she continued to cry, Felix smacked her head and pulled at the girl's ponytail. "DOESN'T SHE?"

"Y- Yes, Master! Yes!"

"Good girl" pushing her nose back to look like a pig's again, the male spat at it. "Now tell Master you're thankful. Get on your knees and be good."

"T- Thank you, M- Master…" The girl cried out, slowly getting on her knees now. "Thank you s- so much…" Felix parted her legs by his foot, cutting the footage and tossing his phone on the bed before kicking her pussy, causing Y/n to jerk forward, face banging straight into his cock.

A moan left him before he grabbed both her ponytails, wrapping them around his hands. "Now I have a present for you. I bought it all a while back and have been keeping it hidden and safe for when I get a fuck piggy. And now that you're here, I'll give you it."

Yes, Felix was pissed at her and yes, he loved destroying her but he was no asshole. She still had that cute little whore face he adored.

Crouching down in front of her, he gripped her chin and kissed her lips again, ignoring her gasp and kissing her again before spitting right on her tongue. "Swallow it and wait for Master to be back. Face down and ass up. I shouldn't have to fuckin repeat myself."

Y/n trembled as she struggled to swallow his spit, bowing down on the ground, slowly raising her nude ass back up. A few moments passed with Felix bringing stuff over and near her, fumbling with things in his closet before he finally closed it and walked to her. "Aren't you lucky? Finding an owner without even looking. There's so many pets like you who have no Master… or not a good one at least, you know…" Standing behind her, Felix rubbed the lube all over the tiny and thick piggy tail assplug. "Aren't you lucky?"

The girl knew what he wanted to hear so she nervously started, having no idea what the boy was about to do. "Y- Yes, Master… v- very luc- AHHHH!" She could only lay there and weakly cry as Felix laughed loudly at her scream because he'd pushed the plug in, tapping her ass.

"Good piggy~" the male cooed and hooked a thin chain to a small loop on top of the plug, slowly making her sit up in silence, the only sounds being her weak sobs. "Just… give in… it'll hurt less that way and you'll be happier." His eyes were trained on what he was doing, the long chain extending from down her plug having nose hooks at the other end that he plugged in her nose, chuckling when her eyes widened as she located the small cage in front of her.

"Oh, yeah. That is your new crib" Felix was clearly loving this. Kissing her stretched little piggy nose, he placed the pink piggy ears on her underwear covered head, followed by a pink collar that had a small bell attached to it. "You look so beautiful…" Kissing her lips again, Felix attached weights to her nipples, making her whine out in pain as she tried to stop his hands. "Oho~" he swatted her hands away, grabbing the piggy hands and feet before putting them on her, finally folding her limbs and binding them.

"Hmmm… that's like a good filthy little fuck pig." Before he attached a leash to her collar and gulped, feeling his balls ache now due to the masterpiece he'd made, pulling at the leash to have her crawl in the cage before he closed it, chuckling at how she kept tripping. "Clumsy pig." Before he started to take pictures, taunting and humiliating her all the while.

.

When Felix was satisfied with the photoshoot, he opened the cage and walked to the bed, holding her leash and pulling her with him. "Now… the fun part." Before he tucked his aching cock out much to her horror, sitting down on the bed and pulling her in between her legs. Pumping his cock a little, the male moaned loudly as he started to piss on her face, chuckling loudly when she yelled and protested, trying to move away but only falling on her face, choking when he harshly pulled at her leash, forcefully pushing his cock in her mouth. "You better swallow that!"

Y/n started crying loudly again, wails leaving her throat as his hot piss started travelling down her throat, making her choke and gag as he loudly laughed. "What a useless piggy! Can't even be a good urinal." Before he smacked her face again, now starting to fuck her mouth fast and rough, hitting his hard tip against the back of her throat before forcefully pushing in, a trail of piss and spit hanging down her lips.

"Fuck… fuck…" Felix moaned loudly, his cock twitching inside of her and pulsating from how fucking good it felt. From her soft mouth to her tight throat, to how he could see his cock against her skin, her eyes widened when her breath supply would totally cut off from his balls getting stuffed between her lips.

"Fuck… you're no good… I'll have to train you plenty" her cries were causing shivers and vibrations up his cock as he fucked her face up and down his cock by her ponytails, kicking her pussy as he went faster and faster, his hips starting to ache from how much strength it was causing.

"What a dumb slut!" Pulling his cock out of her throat, he kicked her on her back, making her arch her back when the tail plug brushed against the floor. "I need that useless fucking pussy now. It better be worth it." Y/n felt scared and nervous for her vagina now as he warned and crawled over her now, pushing his way forcefully inside, biting down at her lip when he felt her hymen tear and lube his cock up.

"I am going to make an absolute mess out of you." He promised, his deep voice sending shivers down her sweaty body. "My mess."

.

I am sorry if it was too rough sjskso you said like bullying gone wrong-

[omenapologist-moved]

I believe negative social atttitudes towards different sexualities, genders, morality, paraphilias, and more are either the root cause of or contribute to some subsets of OCD.

This got longer than I expected. CW for talking about mental illness, detransitioning, and pedophilia. I don’t go into graphic detail about CSA, for what it’s worth, but I know some people will be upset regardless so I felt the need to add a disclaimer.

so, sexual orientation obsessive compulsive disorder or SO-OCD (formerly known as HOCD; homosexual obsessive compulsive disorder or just “gay ocd” but considering anyone of any sexuality can be affected by this SO-OCD makes more sense) in my opinion only exists as a product of a homophobic society. I do not think, for the most part, people would develop an obsessive fear about whether or not they are gay if it were accepted and a non-issue like how being straight is. as someone with OCD myself, it targets that which is important to us and doesn’t exist in a vacuum. 

At the start of my transition, I began developing obsessive thoughts surrounding my gender identity. What if I’m not actually trans? What if I’m wrong and I need to detransition? What if I’m just a fucked up and confused girl? and so on, even though I have always experienced acute physical dysphoria, feel a lot better about myself when I’m referred to with masculine language, and transitioning in general has made me happier and more comfortable in my body than ever before. That’s the nature of the illness. It distorts our cognition and hyperfixates on the uncertainty of things. There is no set-in-stone way to well and truly know your gender or sexuality, because these things are extremely fluid and personal and influenced by your environment, as is the case with social constructs.

Now, why would I be so troubled by this? If I am wrong and I decide to detransition, sure, I’ll have more body hair and a deeper voice and, come november, a flat chest, but all of these things have solutions, too. It isn’t the end of the world, or my life, if I detransition, but I most likely won’t! But the reason I was developing these obsessions is honestly pretty simple. At the time, I placed my own gender and transition at very, very high importance, someone I had previously been close to began detransitioning, and the fucking Youtube algorithm of all things began recommending me the vlogs of several detransitioned FTMTF people. But most pertinently, the pervasive attitude in most circles that detransitioning is the worst possible thing ever and is life-ending and you’re going to be ruined forever if you’re wrong about your gender. All of this created a cocktail of self-doubt in me. 

I’ve gotten a lot better, and fortunately those obsessions didn’t swing fully into a gender-focused OCD, but I know that isn’t the case for everyone, and I’m getting a little off topic here, anyway.

POCD, or pedophilia obsessive compulsive disorder, must be a living hell. POCD is the obsessive fear that you are or might become a pedophile. Here’s a pretty good source talking about POCD in better detail. I need to make it explicitly clear that people with POCD are not pedophiles.

I think in no small part those who struggle with this subset of OCD are made worse by society’s attitude towards pedophilia. That being, even if you never hurt a child ever, even if it remains only within the realm of your thoughts, a pedophile is the worst possible thing you can ever be, and if you even think about attraction to a minor you should be subject to an endless barrage of increasingly creative means of violence and execution. 

But here’s the thing. You can’t control having a paraphilia. You don’t get to just opt out of it, as convenient as that may be. I don’t believe we should condemn an entire swath of people, notably those who have done no harm, because they have a paraphilia they did not choose to have. This attitude hurts these people directly and absolutely does not help cut down on sex crimes against minors. Because rather than being able to pursue help, they hide it, and keep it to themselves, and it festers and worsens like an infected blister until eventually it pops, and the aftermath causes suffering for all.

And not only does this attitude hurt people with this paraphilia, not only does it not help in “protecting the children”, it hurts people who do not have the paraphilia; those with POCD. I’ve been in OCD forums and I have seen people struggling so fucking hard with the complete and utter self-loathing brought about by POCD, and what hurts even more is that more often than not they cannot talk about it in fear of losing their jobs, their families, their friends, and their livelihoods. Which, coincidentally is the exact same issue this attitude inflicts on those who are pedophiles. Isn’t it shocking that stigma doesn’t incentivize people to ask for help, nor does it make anything better? 

I am not saying we should ~normalize pedophilia~ or whatever, rather, we shouldn’t have this disgusting attitude towards them of “kill on sight!” and should instead try to figure out what helps these people without having minors hurt. All too often I see self-identified prison abolitionists and harm reductionists calling for the imprisonment or death of these people, and that shows me that you don’t actually want prisons to be abolished or to do the least amount of harm. You just want to be the wardens, the ones able to deal out the harm because you think yourself to be right and just. And that way of thinking simply is not in line with anarchism, and honestly, leftism in general. 

[takerfoxx]

So I was thinking about Wonder Egg Priority the other day while delivering pizzas when I had something of an epiphany.

WEP is, in many way, sort of the anti-Madoka Magica.

Now, by that I don’t mean it’s intended as an answer, attack, response, or counter to PMMM. It’s obviously a show doing its own thing, and being compared to PMMM probably wasn’t on the creator’s mind. Also, I don’t mean it’s a reconstruction intended to rebuild the genre that PMMM broke apart, much like Gurren Laagan did to the Giant Mecha genre after Evangelion happened. Rather, it feels like, whether intentional or not, to be Madoka Magica in reverse.

Let me explain.

I’ve already gone into detail how PMMM became the hand grenade to the Magical Girl Warrior genre that it was, how carefully it was crafted to utterly deconstruct the genre and did it so well that it was completely changed. Just look at all those dark magical girl shows, comics, and whatnot that sprung up in its wake, all trying to recapture that same magic, and practically all failing. And while it wasn’t the death of cute and optimistic magical girl shows, the genre as a whole was definitely altered by PMMM, taking themes and ideas originally brought up by Utena and Bokurano and building upon them to create a surgical knife that dissected the whole genre and changed it forever.

And one of the methods it used was to show that each and every one of the main character was left in a much worse state than she was in thanks to the contracts.

Think about it. Each of the five girls was basically ruined by becoming a magical girl. Sayaka fell into despair and was destroyed. Madoka straight up died in the original timeline and ended up erasing herself. Mami spiraled into loneliness and depression until she was killed. Kyoko lost her whole family because of her contract, became a heartless nihilist, and when she tried to redeem herself, she realized the futility of it and decided to go down in a blaze of glory. Homura was cursed to relive the same trauma over and over again and eventually lost the person she was fighting for. Even the ones already in a bad place ended up worse off because of it. Hell, Mami only managed to delay her own death by a couple years, and in the end, her end was even more gruesome. 

And that was the point. The wish/contract system is intended to chew these girls up as fodder and just move onto the next one. Just by making a wish you’ve doomed yourself, and there is no escaping your fate. At best you can delay it, and so few can. The best Madoka could do with her universe altering wish was make the girls’ ends a little less cruel. And the movie broke them down even more.

But WEP seems to take the opposite route. Here, when each of our mains are introduced, they’re already at their worse, all four of them traumatized by losing someone close to them while dealing with a multitude of other issues. Ai was bullied heavily due to her appearance, found one friend that could understand, let that friend down, and was deeply wounded when that friend killed herself, leading to Ai becoming a hikikomori. Rika grew up with an absent father and a neglectful mother, got pushed into the toxic idol world way too young, drove off the one person that cared about her and eventually caused her death, leading to her to develop her weirdly cheerful/abrasive personality and self harm as a means of coping with the guilt. Momoe was devastated when her rejection of her friend’s advances led to her friend’s suicide (as far as she knows, anyway), leading to her having a major complex about her appearance and gender identity as a result. And Neiru...well, her situation is really weird and kinda sci-fi, but being a genius test tube baby who was nearly murdered by her sister and left with horrific scars can’t be fun. 

Point is, each of these girls is already broken inside when they’re introduced, and the whole wonder egg thing means they spend their nights fighting violent battles against horrific monsters and suffering a lot of pain and even more trauma, and unlike PMMM, this isn’t shown as being fun or cool at all. There is no false sense of security. You’re shown what a brutal affair it is up front, and the show seems to go out of its way to throw a whole bunch of serious and uncomfortable topics right into the spotlight, from bullying to suicide to sexual abuse to self harm to eating disorders to parental neglect, and the list goes on. It’s a very hard show to watch sometimes because of it.

And yet, unlike the PMMM girls, who only grew worse the longer they were in the system, the WEP girls only seem to be getting more emotionally and mentally healthy from the battles they fight. Protecting the Wonder Eggs, as violent as it might get, seems to be acting as a form of therapy for them, a way for them to confront their pent-up emotions and let them out. And the friendship they’ve built together, while sometimes messy and contentious, is shown to be incredibly healthy for them. They’re basically each other’s support group, and their get-togethers often become group therapy sessions as they confide their true feelings about their lives with each other and discuss their issues out in the open. And as a result, we see the bond that they’ve formed help them heal. Ai becomes more confident, more outgoing, and more brave, to the point that she’s not afraid to go to school anymore. Rika comes to terms with her own guilt and feelings of neglect and realizes that she doesn’t have to risk her life if she doesn’t want to, and even starts to forgive her mother. Momoe starts to come to terms with her feelings of discomfort around her femininity. Even Neiru has started to learn to open up to others and act like a kid for once. All four of them are better off for having met the others, and for fighting to restore their lost ones. 

Now granted, the show’s not over yet, and I’m sure there’s a twist on the way, especially with what we’re learning about the Accas and Neiru’s secretary. But even so, the inverse mirror images the two shows seem to make of each other was very interesting to me.

[mikeshanlon]

i really enjoy the way young royals explores the theme of legacy and how detrimental it can be to have to live up to a legacy or be obsessed with reputation. (analysis and thoughts under the cut)

i think wilhelm resents the fact that he has to live up to the role of being in the royal family and yet is very afraid of ruining that legacy bc of all the pressure. before he was sent off to hillerska he went to a normal school and wanted normal people around him and was content with erik having to take on the responsibilities of crown prince. and when he does have to assume that role he says he can never be erik, that he’s always had to be compared to him and obviously doesn’t like that. but even before erik passed and he had to take on those duties he was afraid of fucking up the legacy of the crown, when he sees that sign in the hallway that says you are in charge of your own legacy after he holds hands with simon, his anxiety worsens. you can tell it’s been instilled in him for a long time that what is most important is the crown’s reputation rather than his own wants. in the scene where him and simon fight about alexander being caught, he obviously wants simon to stay, but he focuses on how him doing drugs will fuck up his family’s reputation if it gets leaked. as much as he cares for simon, his legacy and his duties are like this oppressive cloud hanging over him. 

i do think that wille cares for his family of course but to me it’s different that the sort of loyal unconditional care with simon and his sister/mom. erik and wille had unconditional love, erik understood how difficult being a prince in the public eye was, and wille obviously cared for him deeply and felt like he could to talk to him about issues. his relationship with the queen is much more strained, she wants a tailored, doctored representation of him in the media, he cannot be anxious and bite his nails, she makes all the decisions for him. family is important to wille partially because it has to be bc of how special his family is. he helps his family, he helps august pay his tuition, and then makes a point of disowning august after his betrayal as his new “brother”. but again, because of the royal status and expectations upon the family, that supersedes and colors all of their relationships with each other. it seems to be more a sense of “duty” than unconditional love. especially after erik’s death, wille always has to consider how the crown’s image will be impacted, even though he never wanted to have this responsibility, or even the responsibility of being the “regular” prince under erik. being a family unit that is under constant public scrutiny is going to strain relationships. the queen knows that the anxiety of fucking up his legacy will get to him, and she uses that to get wilhelm to back out of admitting it was him in the video and coming out. wilhelm has to choose between his own happiness and their reputation, is forced to think that denying it’s him in the video is the only way. he loves simon and wanted to live freely, but that pressure of legacy won out.

i don’t know if i think wille necessarily values the crown over his own personal happiness and relationships, like in the way maybe the queen does--i don’t think it comes from a place of “i’m lucky to be prince and owe my duty to the crown, so i do what i have to do to stay that way” (like how the queen said the crown is a privilege not a punishment), but from fear of destroying the legacy and his family. afterall, he still wanted to pursue a secret relationship with simon, i think if he fully valued the crown and uplifting legacy and fulfilling his duties he wouldn’t have tried that. he wouldn’t have made a point to tell simon he loves him. hopefully we get another season because i think with the iconic ending revolution rendition and him looking in the camera, which also parallels the shot of him being forced to apologize/go to hillerska, he is realizing that focusing on legacy is taking away what’s important to him, and he’s going to shake shit up.

august is definitely the most obsessed with legacy, wanting to carry on his father’s business, being persistent on befriending wilhelm and trying to social climb, wanting power and perfection with being prefect, rowing captain etcetera. he is so obsessed with perfection and reputation he gets addicted to drugs, he fucks with simon and makes him get stuff for parties he can’t afford because good parties will make him look better, he manipulates sara multiple times, he mostly wanted felice because of her nobility, he fucking films wilhelm and simon and OUTS him, his own cousin. he hates that wille has everything he wants but isn’t as interested in preserving and more importantly improving the legacy he’s inheriting. meanwhile august’s familial legacy is dwindling, and he holds on to the last bit of assets and names that he can.... v much sick and a weirdo that shows how harmful being obsessed with legacy is

the queen is of course v focused on legacy and it really breaks my heart and makes me angry that she doesn’t care about wilhelm’s happiness more than their reputation, and moreso doesn’t get august in trouble for literally leaking child p*rn of her kid for the sake of appearances?!?!?! like how is he even remotely trustworthy she is wrong for that! like i said earlier the obsession with legacy puts a strain on their mother/son relationship. she doesn’t even really say anything about wille’s sexuality or his relationship, and barely comforts him, mostly goes in with a plan she’s already concocted without him to fix everything. 

erik seemed to understand and accept his role as crown prince but obviously had issues with it as well, like when he makes the plan for him and wilhelm to run from the press, or when he tells wilhelm to enjoy himself while there aren’t so many eyes on him that care. erik shows someone who has more unconditional love and empathy but still has to focus on legacy and is much more inclined to continue his legacy, but we do see those glimpses over how even the most “ideal” attitude of preserving legacy causes issues.

felice is expected to live up to her mother’s legacy, of being an equestrian, of being the lucia, but she doesn’t want either of those things. her mother wants her to be thinner and straighten her hair, and find someone of nobility to be with. obviously she does find wilhelm attractive lol but i think the main reason she pursued him and definitely why she pursued august was because she was expected to social climb and have royal kids. felice feels the need to portray a false narrative of herself on social media to uphold a certain image of herself. it’s very fucked up that her mom wants those values instilled in her but i love that felice was putting up boundaries and pushing back against her mother and the narrative she’s supposed to live up to. her giving sara the role of lucia and focusing on supporting her friends more in the latter half of the season shows growth and i’m excited to see where her story goes. 

sara is interesting because she seems to want to reject the legacy of her family and being working class and to fit in with the elite of hillerska. sara hates micke, hates that simon contacted him because it’s bringing in this “shameful” and painful part of their past (which i mean is def fair). other than sara’s betrayal in 1.06, i think the scene where she tells her family that she wants to reside at hillerska really exemplifies where she’s at in her relation to legacy/class. after dining at hillerska and living amongst the elite she gets annoyed at eating around the TV, she blames her mother for not leaving micke sooner, she gets angry with simon for caring for her. she wants to lead her own life, be popular and wanted because people want her, not for pity (even though i think simon of course truly cares abt his sister she feels annoyed with his protection and care). felice says early on that she thinks sara doesn’t care what other’s think or having friends, and sara says she still wants friends though. i think sara’s biggest thing is she wants to belong, her and simon moved schools after she was bullied for being autistic so i think that definitely affected her even though she tries to act nonchalant about hillerska at first. we see sara’s longing to fit in in smaller ways at first, like her asking her mom for a better piece of her uniform because hers are “cheap” and already worn out. she gets annoyed at simon for chewing loudly, or her mother sitting casually at the table. as she gets closer to felice and madison and all the other students, the allure of the upper class and their lifestyle draws her in more. so much to the point where she gets very anxious and upset at the idea of her and simon leaving hillerska because he’s having his own crisis and doesn’t consider his pov. so much so that she effectively betrays simon and felice, the people she’s closest to, to make a deal (and make out lol) with august to room there and “be just like him”. personally i think sara’s attraction to august is mostly that allure of the elite and that he seemed to “desire” her when he kissed her because he was being a manipulative dickhead--again that want to fit in and be wanted. and  i think there is a really interesting angle of jealousy and competition in female friendships, even if it is really subtle or not intentionally insidious or anything, sara does slowly start to trying to assume all the roles/fashions/mannerisms of felice to live that life she wants. i do think felice and sara’s care for each other is genuine and one of my fave parts of the show, but i think a lot of people who experienced being a teen girl know how we are always pitted against each other even in our subconscious because of how society treats and values women.

simon seems to be the character that is least interested in upholding legacy and tradition or giving a fuck what anyone thinks (as omar said here lmao) and that makes him a really interesting foil to wilhelm. there could be something said about micke fearing that simon is following in his footsteps, but to me that plot more so reveals how the upper class (august) continually exploit the working class for their benefit, and the trappings of generational oppression. the other thing that can be said is simon signing up for private tutoring and rowing, but again i think that serves to further show that he is forced to “play” by the game of the elites because the school/society is corrupt, and also, that simon has further ambitions outside of where he’s at. he wants to get good grades because he wants to explore new places and avenues. to me simon’s biggest motivations are his passions, the things and people he loves--music, his family, wilhelm. he isn’t loyal to others just because he’s expected to be, or uphold a certain image but because he really cares. he doesn’t watch out for sara because that’s his expected role as her brother to do so, but because he cares. he wasn’t interested in knowing wilhelm because he’s a prince like everyone else, he makes it clear he thinks the royal family are privileged and exploitative, but he is interested because he saw the real wilhelm. he’s out and proud even though his elite classmates are more conservative, he doesn’t care about voicing his unpopular opinions, he has no problem walking away from august’s dickhead behavior or calling him out on his shit. simon doesn’t care if people don’t think of him in the best light. (the only exceptions ig are the drugs conflict and the video, though literally anyone would have a problem with that because it’s much deeper that public opinion and has ramifications and is deeply traumatic--but just adding that before someone is like “well actually!”) i also think it’s interesting that most of the songs simon sings has themes of pushing back against the societal norms, and being remembered in history, plus of course the revolution song motif, and how much those songs affect wilhelm, he seems to connect deeply, like he wishes he could do those things but simon is the one who gets to sing them and actually live them.

[shinicalstorytime]

Trafalgar Law x reader - The Crownest

After weeks of nothing but water, the Heart Pirates were more than sick from travelling. Sure, a submarine helped with sea-sickness, since the waves don’t really affect it. That didn’t mean, however, that seeing nothing but sea got stale.

To make matters worse, the crew had underestimated the time it would take to travel to the next island. This meant they hadn’t stocked enough food and drinks to last the journey. They’d been going on just rice for the past week. The crew had been cursing their captain since he had not allowed them to stock any bread.

As soon as the submarine docked, the crew rushed to  land. Penguin and Shachi even fell to their knees and kissed the ground, as if they’d never see it again. Law walked past his crew members, thinking to himself that they were exaggerating and went on a quest for finding a restaurant where they could fill their stomachs before going around to find resources.

The group of pirates stumbled upon a restaurant called ‘The Crownest’, where they noticed other pirates eating. They decided that this was a safe bet for their meal and entered. As soon as they had all settled at the table, they were approached by a girl.

“Hello, may I take your order?” you asked the band of pirates sitting before you. Of course you had immediately recognized them as the Heart Pirates. After all, you see their wanted posters pass by quite often.

The crew eagerly placed their huge order and you retreated to the kitchen to give the order to the cook. Law had noticed that you recognized him, and was slightly surprised by the fact that you hadn’t been phased by it at all. Then again, the place was filled with pirates and none of the worked even so much as batted an eyelid at it.

A little while later, you started bringing over the plates of food to the Heart Pirates’ table, having to go back and forth a few times considering the size of their order. They seemed really hungry and there was no doubt in your mind they would finish every single plate.

Once you made sure they’d gotten everything they wanted, you went to serve other customers. Everything went smooth until you heard the bell ring, signaling that new customers had entered the restaurant.

You looked up and frowned a bit when you saw a bunch of marines, that were stationed in your town, looking around the restaurant.

You made your way to the group of marines. “Can I help you, gentlemen?” you asked, shooting them your usual smile. They completely ignored you and pushed past you, heading over to the Hear Pirates once their eyes fell on the group of pirates.

The group of marines pointed their weapons at the group. “Trafalgar D. Water Law, you and your crew are under arrest for your crimes against the government.” The leader of the bunch stated. Law stopped eating and took a quick look to properly assess the situation.

You could tell the marines were getting impatient by the lack of response from the pirates and were about to speak out again, when you interrupted the whole situation. “And what are we doing?” Your voice was stern, as well as the look on your face.

“We are taking in a dangerous pirate. Now, (Y/N), step back. We would prefer it if no innocent civilians had to get hurt.” You rolled your eyes. Did you really seem that fragile to him?

“I don’t care how dangerous this man is. Nor do I care what kind of crimes he committed. He is a customer and he will not be bothered during his meal here.” you stated, making sure to put on your most intimidating face. If pirates didn’t scare you, the marines had no chance at all to frighten you in the slightest.

“(Y/N), don’t be so ridiculous, he-“ You didn’t let him finish his sentence. “He, is eating. He isn’t harming anyone at all. Besides, have you forgotten our deal? You promised to stop bothering my customers. At this point even the non-pirates’ meals are interrupted. As soon as someone walks through the door here, pirate or marine, noble or theif, poor or even a king. They are a customer and they will get the proper treatment.”

The marines were all silent, as well as more than a little bit surprised that you were daring to speak out like that. “So, by definition, that makes this man a customer, whom you are bothering.” you said. The marines knew there was no way to reason with you and left the restaurant, obviously quite pissed they had to let go of a chance to capture the infamous Trafalgar Law.

“Stupid marines, always ruining my business.” you muttered as you watched them leave. The Heart Pirates were all staring at you in disbelief. Never, not even in his wildest dream, Law had thought someone would stand up to the marines for him.

You noticed the confused faces and burst out laughing. “Oh please, don’t be so surprised.” Law blinked a few times and then decided to finally speak up. “Whyd didn’t you just let them take us? It would have saved you quite some trouble.”

“Didn’t you listen to anyting I have just said? You’re a customer. I won’t let anyone bother my costumers.” you said simply. “And you don’t scare, me, Mr. Surgeon of Death. I used to be a pirate myself, so nothing you could have ever done would frighten me.” You added.

Your explanation seemed to have been satisfactory and the crew let you go back to work. They were all still in disbelief about what had just happened.

After their meal, the Heart Pirates went to gather resources and stock up on food. This time they made sure to take more than they had estimated to need. Once they got everything they needed, they headed back to the Polar Tang, ready to continue their journey.

However, Law (and by extension, the crew) was brought to a halt when he heard a familiar sounding voice yell out. “Would you take your filthy hands off of me, you brute!”

Law noticed a muscular marine holding you, trying to restrain you. “Stop fighting back, (Y/N). You’re only making things harder for yourself.” You replied to the man by spitting in his face.

The marine was obviously getting impatient with you. “(L/N) (Y/N), you are charged with helping out wanted criminals and pirates. You are hereby sentenced to Impel Down for deliberately acting against the government.” He stated.

He finally managed to put a pair of handcuffs on you and pushed you forward to a marine ship that was waiting, ready to take you to the infamous prison. You sighed and walked along, knowing there was nothing you could do to prevent your fate at this point.

“ROOM!” The noise startled you. The marines were sent flying backwards and were reassembled by none other than Trafalgar Law. You had heard stories of the Ope Ope no Mi, but you couldn’t even imagine what it would be like seeing it at work up close. It was truly insane.

Law was actually kind of enjoying the panic his powers was causing. While the marines were distracted by their newly assembled bodies, Law went over to you and broke your handcuffs. “Now we’re even.” He said.

“Why don’t you join my crew, (Y/N)? You clearly can’t stay here.” he offered. You shook your head. “Nu-uh, I gave up on the pirates’ life.” you told him.

At this point, the marines had regrouped and had their target set on you. “Doesn’t seem like you have much choice.” Law said with a chuckle as he headed over to the Polar Tang. You debated shortly before following him, knowing he was right.

Who knew an unfortunate even like this would lead to the best decision you would ever make in your life? Living the pirate life with Law was even better than you had imagined.

[youwontlikethisblog]

The Art of Subtlety in YSBTLF

Now I have yet to really talk about Betty and her development. Currently I'm on the episode where Betty goes to the bank to secure a loan through Terra Moda and it got me thinking.

Slowly we've been seeing the change from Armando's behavior towards her. Now it's been very subtle. One of my favorite scenes that display's the subtlety of his behavior is when Betty and him are being driven around by Don Hermes.

Right as they are leaving the building where they went to sign some documents to start the process of Terra Moda seizing Eco Moda Betty and Armando are talking.

She often jokes about her ugliness and as a person who in society has been outcaste by the mere fact I'm fat, I get that. We don't use it as a way to downplay our worth, better yet to find the humor in something that hurts us deeply. This is something Betty does often. Usually Armando agrees or goes along with it. The scene however caught my attention because after Betty jokes that she didn't get hired due to her ugliness she laughs and walks away and Armando stays behind and nods slightly, as if understanding that her ugliness could cause that BUT we then hear Don Hermes lovingly say "My beautiful daughter, did everything go well?" and Armando's face lights up. He sports a slight smile and stares at Betty as she laughs and tells her dad that everything went well.

The more I watch this show the more I realize that we see a lot of contrast between Betty and Armando's personal lives. While Betty's parents are very present in her life, constantly at the fore front of her ethics and morals as well as there to keep her grounded and realistic, though at times one can assume over baring and over protective, her parents love her deeply and you can tell. They treat her as their most precious possession.

However Armando's parents are a different story. His father always expects the worst of him, his mother coddles him but with conditions. His parents are only ever shown or involved when it comes to the company and/or his relationship with Marcela. Often when they do talk it's always about the company or again the relationship he's in with Marcela. It never goes more than that. We don't see them interact outside of that which causes that parental relationship to seem cold and distant. Kind of like a trophy child. Not really there to celebrate or show love when times are bad. Just there when things are on their terms. They show more interest in Daniel, Marcela, and Beatriz than they do to Armando and even then it's not saying much. In shorter terms, they suck.

So this scene in particular is one of my favorites for that reason. We see Armando, who at first was annoyed and being all pipirs nice to then engaging in conversation, joking, and letting his guard down and that's the thing. Often we see Armando with his guard up but around Betty slowly we begin to see him let his guard down.

Now in particular the reason why I bring this up is because from the get go I've always been interested in the complexities that Armando's character offers, but Betty is this different story. While Armando is complex in dark ways, Betty is complex is light ways. Her complexities aren't a form of harm rather a form of self preservation but still seeing the best in people, while Armando's complexities are in self preservation at the cost of others.

They both struggle in a sense with self worth. While Betty's self worth is rooted in her image and the way society treats her due to her not being societies beauty standers, Armando's self worth struggles are deeply rooted in his person's worth. Meaning that he doesn't find himself worthy as a human if he isn't succeeding, which makes him extremely arrogant. Betty's insecurities make her extremely humble and though being humble isn't a bad thing when there is no balance, her self worth is to the ground and due to this she allows people to step all over her and she often is a people pleaser because of this.

She lets people push her around and doesn't stand her ground when people are rude to her about her appearance. She does when it comes to her work but not as person and because of this she begins to idolize Armando because, unlike everyone before, he sees her as a person, when it comes to work.

This draws the lines, clean and crisp lines.

At work Armando defends her. He defends his decision to hire her. He defends her degrees and her experiences as an economist. This means a lot to her, because as mentioned before, she wasn't getting hired due to her "ugliness" and here comes a man that looks past that and hires her over the pretty one. We understand Betty's crush. We understand why she begins to idolize him even though he shows really crappy behavior at times.

First he constantly yells at her, laughs behind her back, allows his best friend to secretly see her as if she were this attraction in the tent of strange and ugly phenomena at the circus. To then being subtly annoyed when certain people mock her and make fun of her, though this gets him half points because he still allows his best friend to do this.

To end my analysis of Armando's behavior towards Betty up to this point I'll say that as this continues Armando begins to soften up towards her and while no one else picks up on it, Betty does. Which feeds her idolization of him.

Up to this point of the show Betty has been unconditional, even when she has needed to set aside her true feelings for him, she places his before her own. With Claudia, instead of ruining his night she stayed in the room all night long to which later we see Armando feel guilty over it but he gets no gold stars over that. That was a dick move.

Betty constantly shows loyalty, unconditionality, support, and most of all, team work. When he fails she always places herself to take the blame with him. She doesn't let him feel alone in his failures. Betty truly shows to love him. As a friend, as her boss, and as a girl who idolizes him and this moves him because to this point Armando hasn't had that. His parents do not show him unconditionality. His fiancé shows no team work or support and his best friend... he sucks. He is a terrible friend. Here is this girl who gives him all of this and for what? She doesn't ask for anything in return except to work for him. That's why we see the subtle change in him and Betty deserved that and more.

When they went to that cocktail with RagTela, where Armando started to hit on Ms. Colombia, I forgot her name, Betty doesn't seem jealous or hurt by that. In fact she seems unbothered and stayed in her lane, once again the lines being crisp and clean. However later on, when Betty tells Armando that they've got a meeting with Macro Textil and she sees Armando's face light up and ask how he looks, we see a subtle change, jealousy. She showed some of that with Claudia but Armando probably interpreted that as Betty being frustrated that due to that she had to sleep in the office that night. Here he doesn't pick up on it. She laughs dry only to cover her tracks and gets the man his cologne and throughout their meeting with Macro she shows to be a good wing-woman, minding her business of course.

Now let me skip some scenes. They're trying to negotiate a payment plan with Macro Textil. At this point what Armando has said isn't very convincing and Betty steps in, our bright Betty manages to say stuff that makes them think over their offer. At this point Armando has had all eyes on Ms. Colombia but he turns to watch her, with a slight smile on his face, a brief second of staring at her lips and completely absorbed into what Betty is saying and doing.

Now I want to bring us back to the main scene of this post. Betty sitting across her old boss. We have seen two scenes of her old boss and her interact before. Not only to drive the plot, but I believe to show the difference between a boss who was fond of Betty, after all he did say he was happy and pleased to help her with Terra Moda after being her boss for two years and a boss who is... more than fond of her but confused about it(to be fair Armando is so stupid when it comes to feelings the dude isn't even aware he's got them to begin with.) Betty's behavior is respectful and friendly towards her old boss. You can tell she's comfortable talking to him and so on and her old boss is the same. He's respectful and friendly towards her.

Why do I think this is important to the plot of the story?

It got me thinking. When I was working I got pretty close to my manager. He was married and older than me and we got along great. We talked, we joked, we had work discussions and we'd talk about life and stuff. However it was always very respectful and friendly, like a boss and their employee. My manager was very gentleman like. He didn't let me carry heavy stuff(As a fat woman I'm not used to that lol) however the line was there, Boundaries were there. Obviously we didn't have conversations that were too personal or even that personal at all. I could see Betty and her ex-boss being the same. A simple boss to employee friendship but if I had a... ship of sorts with my boss like Betty does with Armando my sensors of red flags would be blaring.

Think about your greatest friendship with one of your bosses. It's respectful and friendly but you don't cross lines, right?

Now I keep comparing their behavior to my manager's and mine.

That is why they show us, unlike with all the other Banks Betty has talked to, their interactions. To show a clear and distinct line of work related ships. Her ex-boss is truly fond of her but he doesn't cross boundaries and neither does Betty.

My ex-manager was respectful and we talked like an older brother and younger sister would. That was our work dynamic.

Betty's behavior has always been respectful and friendly towards Armando. Their work dynamic has been that she's the smart one and he's the pretty one and it works for them.

Betty's emotions start to blur when Armando's behavior towards her starts to blur. We go from seeing back to back scenes that show separate life styles and personal lives to having them blend in and once their personal lives begin to blend in so do their work lives.

During this day, before Betty goes to talk to her old boss, we are shown the scene when she tells him that Macro Textil was on their way to sign a contract with them that very day. Armando is between Betty and Mario and he talks to Betty. Constantly saying "Betty we did it!" and things along those lines but after each sentence he goes to Mario and repeats the same thing up until he goes to hug Betty.

[EDIT: This allows us to view Armando's personal dilema. Your brain often blurts the first thing that comes to mind and seeing as Armando isn't that bright when emotions are involved, he blurts out the first thing that comes to mind and that is Betty. His first thought is to talk to Betty, to celebrate with her (since she is the reason why that business deal is even happening) but he is prioritizing her, picking up on it and then going to his best friend to celebrate it as well. It shows us subtly the change in him.]

He doesn't even do that to his best friend. Once again, the lines blur. Armando is the first person in this work related relationship to blur the lines and Betty follows suit.

Yes, the hug was work related. Yes he was excited over the fact they could release the new fashion collection they'd been working on BUT he hadn't done that for other deals that they had managed. He didn't do that with the first collection he launched. He's hugged her, up to this point, two other times. Once after the meeting with Daniel where Betty gave him lessons on economics and later when Betty was crying.

This is their third hug. I'm not reading into that hug but what follows before and after.

As I said when writing we're told to keep what drives the plot, character development, and overall story; everything else is thrown out the window. So these subtle changes, behaviors, and quirks we begin to see coming from Betty's interactions with Armando explain why it was so easy for her to be manipulated by this man. They are important because they are meant to show us what is okay and what is not. What is normal and what is not and in small ways their work dynamic begins to shift and the first person to do that is Armando.

because he didn't feed the illusion of love when that sinister plan was created, he fed it when he started to get confused about her. When he started to blur the lines.

Betty didn't just idolatrized him because he defended her work. She did it because he fed her feelings towards him. When Betty showed loyalty he showed to be more fond of her. He went from constantly yelling at her, being indifferent towards her, to trying to watch his tone and temper. When Betty showed unconditionality he showed kindness. When Betty showed support he showed loyalty and little by little we begin to see these two blur the line between personal and work.

The changes are really subtle that they fly over your head but when you pay attention to the actual story and not the romance you can tell when they start and that is one reason why I love this novela because very much like real life these changes are subtle.

Betty's love was really subtle and you can pick up on when she starts to fall in love, whereas with Armando his change goes from being so subtle that you're confused yourself to it being so bam in your face you can't deny it.

In any aspect their relationship begins to blur during these episodes and the clear contrast of that is with seeing Betty interact with her old Boss at the bank.

In the future episodes this theory is proven right when we no longer get clear cuts of scenes that show the difference between their personal lives better yet we get a very muddy and blurry view of their personal and work lives.

Betty's moral, ethics, and emotions begin to change when Armando begins to change. Up to this point Betty has been consistent with her morality, though close to stumbling her father has been there to keep her on the right path. She has been the sweet and loving person she's always been but her character has been consistent up to this point and it's important to note that and why everything that happens after this is the way it is because as an audience we have been warn over and over again and so have these characters but just like in real life we don't always pay attention to the subtle changes until their domino effect starts to make too much impact.

also sorry if this doesn't make any sense it's currently 6:40 am and I've been writing this since like four lol.

[believinghurts]

Their Daughter Pt 4

Warnings: Crying, yelling, mentions of blood, body harm

Check out the other parts on my Masterlist before reading this! Reblog, like, or comment!  The week and a half at Malfoy Manor passed way too fast for Ali’s liking. In all honesty, she wasn’t looking forward to spending the rest of her summer with the Weasley bunch and Potter. School started in three weeks as it was and she knew that she would be seeing plenty of them there, and spending even more time with them made her want to vomit. She felt like she was able to breathe when she was with the Malfoys. She missed her Uncles but spending so much time with Narcissa and her friends helped take her mind off of everything. 

After their first trip to Diagon Alley, they want another time just Narcissa and Ali to spend some quality time together and that’s how Ali was ending up with a trunk so full she and Draco had to sit on it to close it, her friends were around the Manor a lot more. Pansy, Theo, and Blaise had stayed the night after their families had dinner together meaning that they all slept in the living room after talking late into the night. Ali was woken up by her aunt shaking her awake, telling her that if she wanted Blaise to stay breathing she needed to move. Somehow that night the two had ended up right beside each other with Ali’s head on Blaise's right arm while his left was under his head. This was something that Draco now used to blackmail Ali into doing things he didn’t want to do since he knew his father would murder any boy that so much looked at Ali. 

Ali sighed before calling the house-elf to take her trunk downstairs. Doing a quick once over of her royal blue bedroom she grabbed her wand before making her way down the stairs. She left to go back home today and as excited as she was to see Regulus and Remus, the knot forming in her stomach at seeing Sirius made her ill. Her confidence had grown some after talking with Narcissa about what was going on at home. Cissa assured her that Sirius was just being Sirius and not seeing the hurt he was inflicting. Ali wanted to believe her aunt's words that he would come around more when he knew that the Malfoys were not a threat. She had made sure Ali knew that she was just as good if not better than the Potter boy because she didn’t judge anyone no matter their house. Draco was livid when he found out what was happening between Sirius and Ali, blaming it all on Potter for being the snake that he feared Draco was so much. Draco had made her swear that if Harry or anyone said anything to make her upset that she would write Draco right away and he would be there in a heartbeat. 

“I knew that dress would look stunning on you,” Narcissa stood as Ali entered the living room. Ali smiled at her aunt as she kissed her on the cheek. She did a little spin when Narcissa motioned her to do so causing the dark blue dress to flare out at the bottom right above her knees. Cissa had insisted she bought it even if it wasn’t something Ali would have normally worn. She had paired it with her favorite white combat boots and black tights making the little white spots on the sleeves stand out even more. Narcissa hugged Ali once more, and Ali knew she didn’t want to send her back to Grimmauld Place, but school started soon and Ali wanted to spend some more time with Regulus and get her stuff ready.  “We are going to miss you so don’t forget to write, and we will see you at the train station.” 

Ali nodded, hugging her aunt close before moving onto Lucius who kissed her cheek wishing her good luck at home and to write if she needed anything. Draco was last, he tried to act indifferent, but Ali knew he didn’t want her to leave. She stuck her hand out causing him to roll his eyes before pulling her into a hug. Draco had grown quite a bit the last couple of years making Ali eye level with his shoulder. “Write to me the minute something goes wrong, and I’ll be there to save you. Potter be damned.” 

Ali giggled, “Of course, Dray. Behave for mother, and make sure if you see our friends that you tell them I’ll see them soon.”

Ali grabbed her trunk while Lucius called for Winks the house-elf to come apparate Ali back home. She gave her extended family one last smile before grabbing Winks's hand. They landed across the street of Grimmauld Place, Ali gave Winks a bar of chocolate out of her pocket before bidding goodbye. She walked in the door hearing noise coming from the living room and dining area. It was just after lunch so she assumed everyone was still hanging out there. She debated going straight to her room first but decided not to. She pulled her trunk behind her till she reached the dining room. There everyone was, immediately Ali wished she was back at the Manor where it was peaceful and she wasn’t getting stared at like she was right now. She pulled down the sleeves on her dress a little more not noticing how big of a mistake that was. 

She saw Regulus standing in the corner, he smiled at her. Regulus was happy that Ali got to stay away for a little bit. He was able to give Sirius a piece of his mind, which happened often, without Ali overhearing. Screaming matches could be heard coming from the study more often than not after someone made rude comments about Ali or her friends. Sirius still had acted like Ali was staying with the Dark Lord himself instead of family and it had pushed Regulus to the edge more than once. Regulus knew that Remus was on the same page as him, he was over the comments from Sirius. Regulus had noticed that Harry didn’t say anything bad about her or Slytherins if Remus was present. He had taken a liking to the oldest two Weasleys and Fleur, they were nice to Ali and Fleur often defended her by saying kind things. Regulus knew that Fleur stuck out in the Weasley family, he had seen the looks some of the younger ones would give her. He felt bad for her and often tried to make sure she felt comfortable, much like he knew she did for Ali. 

Ali hugged her uncle tight, she had missed the safety feeling that came from burying herself in his chest. Remus was quick to join the two, squeezing Ali to him before kissing her head. Ali quickly tucked herself back into Regulus' side. His arm wrapped around her shoulders, “How was it? Did you have fun?” 

Ali smiled at him and Remus, “I did. Pansy, Blaise, and Theo stayed over after we had dinner with their families. Cissa took me shopping, twice mind you. Draco almost made the house explode with some potion he was trying to make to dye Theos hair. It was supposed to change with his mood, but instead, it ended up all over the ceiling. Aunt Cissa didn’t stop yelling at him for an hour,” She laughed at the memory of Draco’s face while his mother yelled that he had ruined her ceiling. “Um, what else?” She knew Regulus wanted to know exactly what she did. He was always interested in her life often making her tell stories from school in detail. She was never allowed to leave with just a generic ‘fine’ that some teenagers got away with. “Oh Lucius took us to Hogsmede, claiming that it was to get Cissa some sugar quills, but the number of chocolate frogs said differently. Oh, Cissa told me to tell you that she ordered me new school robes and that you needed to pick them up or she could bring them to the station.” 

“You didn’t tell me you needed robes?” Regulus raised his eyebrow, surely she would have told him if she needed something like that. 

“Oh I don’t, but Draco did since he grew again and Cissa said I should just get some so I have extras. I-” 

“Why don’t you just brag some more,” an icy voice cut her off. Ali looked to see Sirius standing behind Harry with his hands on his shoulders. She hadn’t noticed him when she came in so she was wondering what all he had heard. She wasn’t bragging about anything. She knew the Weasley’s had financial problems, but this was her home. She was allowed to talk about things she did with her Aunts even if it was out spending an obscene amount of money. 

“I-I wasn’t bragging,” Ali stuttered, “I just was telling Uncle Regulus what I-I had done.” 

“Oh yeah right. You had fun, right? That’s good,” Sirius walked around the table towards Ali who naturally stepped closer to Regulus. Her uncle tensed when he saw that Ali was scared of his brother. “So why are you wearing long sleeves? It’s like 80 degrees out. You must be warm in them.” 

“Sirius,” Remus’s tone was a warning. He knew what Sirius was thinking, but he had hope that Sirius knew not to do it. 

Sirius ignored Remus continuing to walk towards his brother and daughter. “You decided that you wanted to match Regulus too? Spend some time with the Dark Lord the past couple of weeks?” 

“Sirius you stop this instant she didn’t do anything,” Molly spoke up for the girl while pushing the other children out of the room. She tried to get Harry to leave but gave up after he insisted he stayed where he was.

“No, Molly, cause you to see Regulus was her age when he got the mark. And I’m starting to wonder if Ali doesn't have it as well. Spies the both of them. Playing the part of perfect uncle and niece. Show me your arm, Alianova.” 

Ali stayed where she was, not moving an inch. She felt her breath pick up as Sirius walked closer. “Ali, I said show me your arm.” She shook her head no. She didn’t have anything to hide, but she didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of listening to him. He hadn’t earned her trust or respect at this point. Sirius reached out and grabbed Ali’s arm. That was when all Hell broke out. 

Sirius had enough time to push her sleeve up before he was shoved back by Regulus. Ali cried out when Sirius’s nails dug into her skin hard enough to bleed. Remus grabbed Sirius, pulling him back while he stared in shock at Ali who had tears streaming down her cheek staring at him in disbelief. 

Regulus lunged at Sirius only to be held back by Bill Weasley, “Stop. Stop, Regulus. Ali needs you. Go.” He lightly pushed Regulus back towards Ali. Regulus felt this heart crack in his chest when he saw that Ali sitting on the floor holding her arm to her chest. Her tears dripping down her chin as she watched Remus pace in front of Sirius who was still looking at her. 

Regulus knelt beside Ali gently pulling her arm to him revealing the four scratch marks on the pale flesh. Each had drops of blood running down the sides. Regulus grabbed the tea towel off the counter-pressing it to the wound. Ali leaned into his shoulder letting her tears catch on the fabric of his shirt. She was trembling from the shock that someone who was supposed to love her could hurt her like this. She had always known of the Black Temper; it was famous really. But even when she saw her grandmother and Regulus angry, they had never hurt her. Sirius was her father; it was his job to protect her was it not? She understood that he never wanted her, she was a mistake. Ali had come to terms when that a long time ago, but for him to actively hurt her shook her to her core. Ali was focused on Regulus, but from the corner of her eye, she could see Remus shaking with rage at Sirius. Regulus cupped her cheeks in his hands wiping away her falling tears. “Are you okay?” 

She numbly nodded at her uncle. “Ali, I am so sorry-”

“NO,” The venom in Ali’s voice shocked those that were in the room as she stood with Regulus’s help. “No. You don’t get to apologize. You knew what you were doing and you didn’t care! You never have. And never will. I get it okay?” Ali walked towards Sirius so she was a couple of feet in front of him, but near the stairs to make her exit if she couldn't handle it anymore. “I know that I wasn’t planned or wanted. I know that I’m not Harry Bloody Potter, but you know what I am? I’m YOUR daughter. That doesn’t matter, does it? You don’t care that it's your job to raise me and protect me and love me. You never did it. I have no memories of you. Not one. My uncles told me how good of a parent you were when I was little, but I don’t believe that anymore. Hell, if someone told me you put me in a room and left me there it would be more believable.” 

She pinched the bridge of her nose letting out a sigh. She never stood up to people much, but she was sick and tired of Sirius thinking he could act like this towards her. “I used to look up to you. I never listened to the bad things people said because I thought you were good. I wanted to make you proud of me even if I never got to meet you. Then you got out. But instead of coming for your flesh and blood, you came for him,” She flung her arm in Harry’s general direction. “You were never there for me. That’s fine too. Wanna know why? Because I have people who are always there for me. People who love me unconditionally, and make me see that I am enough. Do you know who those people are? A big chunk of them is the Malfoys. I had a lot of fun staying with them, but one of my favorite parts was when Lucius told me that even if you didn’t see how great of a daughter I was that he and Regulus did. The Lucius Malfoy made ME feel better because you treat me like rubbish.” 

Ali walked closer to Sirius. The only noise in the room was coming from her, and if she stopped talking a pin dropping could be heard. Regulus was stunned by her outburst but knew deep down that it was coming. Sirius had pushed her too far, and once Ali was done it was going to take a lot more than Bill Weasley to hold him back. “I have never called anyone else ‘Dad’, but now I regret it. Regulus is more of my father than you could ever be. I hope you have fun with your son.” She spat looking Sirius in the eye before turning on her heel fleeing up the stairs. Tears fell again as she shut and locked her door behind her, sliding down the other side of it. Even if what she said was true it didn’t mean that it hurt any less knowing that Sirius would never choose her. 

Downstairs Regulus was fuming. He was shocked that Ali called him ‘dad’ even if he had wanted that for as long as he could remember. But the other part of him wanted to break Sirius in half. He felt the rage coming back from when he was a child. He felt the urge to kill but knew that he wouldn’t. He couldn’t think of himself, he had too much at stake. He hadn’t been able to think of himself for the last fifteen years. Sirius had done a lot of messed up things in his life, but this took the cake. Regulus forgave him a long time ago for him leaving, and for the bullying that he did to Regulus through school, but this was unforgivable. Ali was a child who didn’t understand why she wasn’t good enough or why her father was hell-bent on her being on the side with the Dark Lord when she was the furthest away from him. 

Regulus stood brushing off his hands on his pants before stalking towards Sirius how a predator stalks its prey. He saw Bill and Arthur move forward a few inches more than likely ready to intervene if needed. Remus’s eyes had a little more green in them than normal probably due to the rage he was feeling and the fact that the full moon was less than a week away. It was honestly shocking that Remus hadn’t thrown Sirius into the wall yet. Regulus stopped when he was toe to toe with his brother.

 “How dare you do what you just did to her! She is a child, Sirius. She is supposed to be your child,” Regulus’s voice was eerily calm when he spoke making the hairs on Remus’s neck stand from the amount of venom present. “Frankly I have no idea how she is half you. All she wanted to do was get away from all the stress that has come from living here the past couple of months. She has been a shell of herself since you came back really, but when she came through those doors I saw her coming back to herself. That couldn’t happen though, could it? Had to accuse her of having the Dark Mark, which she didn’t, but when she refused to show you because she doesn’t owe you anything you hurt her. You made her bleed. She is your daughter and you made her bleed. Do us all a favor and leave her alone. I opened this home to you and the Order because it was the right thing to do. Ali agreed that she wanted to help, but this can’t keep happening. I can’t put her at risk anymore. So leave her alone and if she sheds another tear because of you then you will leave.” 

Sirius stood stunned. His younger brother hadn’t stood up for himself even when they were children. That was the most he had heard Regulus talk in his life. He felt bad that he had hurt Ali, he never meant to, but he has to protect Harry and the Order. He doesn’t trust the Malfoys and Ali had been there. How was he to know that she didn’t have the Mark? All she had to do was show her arm. Simple really. He glanced around the room as Regulus walked away not waiting for his response. Sirius knew that Regulus meant what he had said. Molly had started cleaning up the kitchen with a sad look in her eyes, while Arthur and Bill had left the room. Remus met his eyes but shook his head at him disappointed. “Come on, Harry. I need a walk.”  

------------------

Ali wasn’t sure how long she had been sitting on the floor of her room. It was quiet downstairs which was concerning, but she didn’t think much of it. Hopefully Regulus hadn’t killed Sirius, but if he did she wouldn’t blame him. She had cried herself numb. She didn’t have any tears left, her throat was scratchy from the sobs. Part of her wanted to go back to Malfoy Manor where she was safe and welcomed, but the other part of her wanted to find her uncle and have him read to her like he did when she was a child. 

A knock at her door pulled her from her musings. “Al? Open the door darling. It’s just me.” Regulus’s voice came from the other side. 

Very slowly Ali stood up leaning onto the table by the door for support. She turned the lock and instantly Regulus opened the door. He kissed her forehead before leading her to her bed. Ali had yet to change out of her dress, but she didn’t really care. Regulus snagged the blanket off the foot of her bed before gently pushing her down into it and covering them both with the blue and silver blanket. Ali positioned herself with her head on Regulus' shoulder. Exhaustion weighing down heavy on her. Even though it was early she could feel her eyes droop as he carded a hand through her hair. “Thank you, dad. For loving me.” 

Regulus’s heart swelled and broke with those words, but he didn’t get a chance to respond before her soft snores filled the room.