#like i know on an intellectual level that representation matters but the /experience/ of it... it strikes a chord idk how to explain it.

[knife-dad]

I've watched Blue Beetle 3 times now and i think it might be one of my favorite movies? All the little details that are specific to Mexican American culture really warm my heart, and I'm delighted by how much my whole family enjoys the movie. It's not just because of the Mexican pop culture references either, it's also the themes of the movie that feel deeply informed by our culture and experiences. It feels really special to have a superhero movie that's for us.

[celesterunewhisper]

Day 11 - Watch

Tik. Tik. Tik. The slow sounds of an unseen grandfather clock audibly marked the choking silence that engulfed the elaborate living room. On any other day, the room might have felt comforting, perhaps even welcoming; however, the tension that wove itself with that damn ticking almost made sitting in the room unbearable. In the center of the den, two large couches—red and gold in hue, as was the rest of the decor—were set facing each other with an elegant coffee table between them. Next to the couches, an oversized chair sat to meet the entire room, sitting there like a throne; the fireplace flickering behind the high-back chair only served to cast a menacing shadow over any who sat in it. Compared to the rest of the furniture, it was clear the chair was moved deliberately into the room for whatever purpose the mysterious gathering served. The rest of the decorations of artwork and statues were purely there to display the wealth of the Crimsonburn family. Sitting in the throne chair, a middle-aged Quel'dorei man gazed out at the crowd of three with his beady, contemplating blue eyes. His complexion was lined with not only age but experience in the thralls of stressful politics. He wore elaborate robes of red and maroon and had his white-blond hair slicked back for the occasion. Lord Norath Crimsonburn glanced to the two men on the couch to his left. The elder of the two—looking not too much older than Norath—had long straight black hair, partially braided to keep his bangs from his face sporting robes of violet and slate-gray. A younger man sported the same hues in attire and hair; however, he had his short and slicked back similar to the Lord of the house. “You have met my wife, Lady Larae Crimsonburn, Lord Velvetlight?” Norath then glanced to the woman on the opposite couch who was meek in appearance with short, curly red hair and gorgeous robes of crimson. He smirked when her matching blue eyes locked with his, only for her to look to the table with discomfort seconds later. It thrilled him to see her so obediently in her place. The raven-haired gentleman raised a dark brow at the Lord of the house. “Indeed. A fetching catch. However, it is your daughter, my son, and I wish to meet.”

“Her tardiness is unorthodox, I assure you. Perhaps, she is nervous about being among such distinguished companies.” Norath replied, his voice icy and uncomfortably calm. Lord Velvetlight simply sighed before reaching forward towards the coffee table. An array of refreshments rested upon the wooden surface, including snacks, tea, coffee, and wine. The guest Lord helped himself to a glass of the latter. A superb Dalarn red; year 450K.C, much before the wondrous city made its floating charge to Northrend. An expensive taste with the delicate bite of a lingering arcanic crisp. Not enough to quell Lord Velvetlight's patience, unfortunately. As if the swelling distaste was the perfect queue, a young elven woman was politely escorted into the room by a servant of the manor. Her short hair matched both the curliness of her mother's and the pale blonde hues of her father's, and just like her parents, the Crimsonburn colours painted her corsetted, victorian gown. The servant didn't stay long and left the young woman to linger awkwardly at the door; her blue eyes glanced to her father's with an apologetic expression. Norath smiled, yet no humour or kindness touched his eyes. “My daughter; Lady Celeste Crimsonburn. What a pleasure for you to have finally indulged us with your presence.” Celeste winced, immediately curtseying before Norath, with her head low, “My apologies, father,” she spoke carefully, turning her attention to the two guests in their home. “I thank you for your patience, my Lords.” Her politeness was useless at this point; she had already disappointed Norath to irreparable levels that night. But, she still had a role in maintaining, lest she made it worse for herself. “Take a seat, Celeste,” Norath instructed cooly. “You remember Lord Velvetlight, don't you?” Truthfully, Celeste did not. However, she forced herself to dig through her memories in an effort not to embarrass herself further. She took a shot in the dark. “You...were a guest speaker at Sunstrider University. You taught a lecture for my Introduction to Political Theory class.” As she spoke, attempting to sound confident in her answer, she sat beside her silent mother. “Ah, so you do remember. Excellent.” Lord Velvetlight looked pleased. “I also met you in your adolescent years, but I do not expect you to remember something eighty years ago.” There was a momentary pause as the Lord took a sip of his wine. “I would like to introduce to you my son, Lord Zan Velvetlight. A proud Magister of Quel'thalas and Scryer under the ranks of Astalor Bloodsworn's trusted Arcanists.” Zan stood to his feet to bow towards Celeste, “A pleasure, my Lady.” Instinctively, Celeste held her hand towards the expecting man, to which he took and placed a gentlemanly kiss upon it. She was used to such gestures with her family's position in the noble hierarchy; however, she could never bring herself to enjoy that flavour of attention. It took everything in her power not to grimace as Zan retook his seat. “The pleasure is mine, Lord Zan.” “Celeste, why don't you elaborate for Lord Velvetlight more about your education,” Norath commented in a thinly veiled order. “Yes, indeed,” Lord Velvetlight began, “I am very interested in hearing more about the daughter Lord Crimsonburn has been raving about.” Celeste rose a brow at the strangeness of the conversation, and she couldn't help but glance at her mother for answers. However, when Larae met her daughter's gaze, her bright eyes glazed over with sadness. For some reason, the woman could not bring herself to speak out of turn and left her daughter to the thralls of confusion. “Right,” Celeste breathed, now looking to Lord Velvetlight—vividly aware of her father's icy gaze boring down on her while she spoke. “I have been studying the economics of the country primarily. Provincial stabilization, governance, representation through the monarchy, and the delicate balance of power and influence.” She took a deep breath, “I hope to follow in my father's footsteps of becoming a member of King Sunstrider's advocates.” This, of course, was an utter lie. “Ah, such high expectations. So much in common with my son.” Lord Velvetlight hummed with satisfaction. Zan spoke to provide context to his father's statement. “I hope to enlist within the Kirin Tor eventually. Put more experience under my belt to either rise further with the Magisters of Quel'thalas or, perhaps, a cozy seat on the council of the Magus Senate.” Arrogance coated his tongue as he spoke a matter of factly. Celeste forced an interested smile to her face and spoke with perfunctory attentiveness. “How do you not burn yourself out from such strenuous tasks?” Zan's ego predictably inflated as he smirked with bottomless pride towards Celeste. “Because I am superior. Other low-lives let opportunities pass them by, while intellectual men must rise to guide this wayward Kingdom. I intend to learn all I can to do so.” Celeste felt her blood run cold as her smile faltered. “Ah—your...father is right about...sharing high ambitions, then. I suppose.” Another lie. She wanted nothing more than to leave both the conversation and company. Norath spoke up once more, “It is as I said, Lord Velvetlight. It would be a flawless arrangement that will benefit both sides of the political spectrum. We must act upon the traditions of the monarchy's system before the ambitious Prince threatens to change the whole thing. What with that Theron whispering in his ear.” “Father, what are you talking about—” Celeste began. “You will speak when you are spoken to.” Norath snapped. Then turning back to Lord Velvetlight, he continued as if the outburst never happened. “What say you?” “Zan?” Lord Velvetlight glanced to his son, asking a vague question Celeste still did not understand the context of. The younger lord gave Celeste a once-over before smirking. “I find it both an excellent strategy and a rather lovely match. I agree to Lord Crimsonburn's proposition if you are inclined to act upon it, father.” Lord Velvetlight smiled. “Then our deal has been settled. The ceremony will be scheduled for the end of the month as planned.” “Perfect.” Norath grinned. “I have already arranged for their housing, as well. A gift for the new family, hm?” Lord Velvetlight chuckled, “So generous, my Lord.” Zan bowed his head, “I generously accept, Lord Crimsonburn.” Norath stood to his feet, and the other two lords followed suit. “A rather short meeting, but I understand you and your son are rather busy this evening.” “It has been a pleasure, Lord Crimsonburn. Till the ceremony, then.” And soon, Celeste was alone in the den with her father. Her mother couldn't bear to be in the room any longer, and she still didn't understand why. Norath gestured his hand silently towards Celeste, allowing her to speak freely. “What was that all about, father?” “We plan on uniting our causes together, Lord Velvetlight and I. The details are none of your concern, but we came up with an ideal way to permanently seal our partnership. A bargaining chip, if you must.” Norath responded as if Celeste's question was foolish. “What was the bargaining chip?” she asked hesitantly. “You, my dear,” Norath said. “You are.” The silence was almost deafening if it wasn't for that rhythmic ticking. “I beg your pardon?” Her voice was almost inaudible. Norath sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Ignorant girl. You are to wed Lord Zan. What did you think I meant when I said 'ceremony'?” His blue eyes narrowed at his daughter. Celeste's jaw nearly dropped to the floor; however, she closed it quickly before her father sneered. “Wait,” she breathed, “I just met him. I don't even know him!” “Frankly, my dear, I couldn't care less if you loved him or hated him. This is out of your control.” “You can't make me marry a stranger!” she shouted, standing to her feet. Norath was swifter than Celeste anticipated, and as he stood to his feet as well, the back of his ringed hand made contact with his daughter's cheek with an audible slap. Her face jerked to the side from the force, and her hands immediately went to cup the welt with a shaking whimper. “I can.” Norath towered over his trembling daughter. “Just watch.”

@daily-writing-challenge​ @howlingowl-wra​

[flickeringart]

Basic personality natal chart reading (example)

This is a short analysis based on personal planetary placements by sign and aspect in your natal chart. It’s by no means a complete analysis of your chart; it’s a summary of the personal planets and how they express themselves through you. Planets represent autonomous principals of the unconscious. They exist independently of your will since they are your will. They are not you, but they are you in all the ways that you are yourself. If you can detach enough from them, you’ll see them more clearly. This short reading can hopefully provide some aid in self-analysis, an aid in self-observation.

Sun in Aquarius

The overall goal of your life is to develop your ethical, cerebral and visionary abilities. The faith in progression and future possibilities for yourself and others should be what carries you through, what you’re here to express, articulate and radiate. There’s potential for great understanding of human beings and an acceptance of all the facets that are part of the human experiences. The reason for your inclusive stance is your proclivity to see yourself as one of many, like a person jut like everybody else. However, this is not to imply that you trivialize the importance of people’s uniqueness – you have the ability to treasure yourself and others for being unique. The collective human family lies close to your heart. Other people probably feel comfortable with you, knowing that you’ll be able to understand their point of view – or at least attempt to, because you learn about yourself through others. You would have the inclination to think of yourself as part of a movement because you put an emphasis the common goal and the common cause – even if it’s secretly done for purely self-centered reasons. You’re self-investment is intellectual, which is why it’s not presented or perceived as purely selfish. What you go through as an individual is thought of in the context of a larger structural blueprint – it’s viewed in terms of a collective experience. You would tend to bring your individual desires and inclinations to the mental realm, to advocate for their legitimacy in terms of a societal presence. More than likely you accept and respect other people because you would want to the same thing in return. What you want for yourself you advocate for in social contexts. There’s openness to your identity, but you tend to be quite fixed once you’ve made up your mind – certain things are fundamentally inarguable to you. People will likely appreciate you for this, but they might find that you’re too fixed in your values as to make appropriate assessments of situations that involve personal emotion. Sometimes, you can take equality and respect to the point where it could turn toxic. Your strong idealistic identity might not be able to accept the raw reality as anything that has value – it might not fit into the image of rightness that you have established as a vision for yourself. People will love you for your strong intellectual investment in common goals – it will make others feel seen and supported. On the other hand it could make others feel like it’s purely about the progression of thought and not about them as individual beings, that it’s purely about the mental abstraction of their problems or dilemmas.

You’re conscious identity is quite tied up with your idea of redemption. You’d find that you put faith in yourself to embody the sublime and transcendent. You’re likely to be an incurable romantic with your goal of life being nothing less than the most rose-colored movie ideal. There’s something sacred about the frailty of life and you would be quite invested in the dream of perfection where everyone is sharing in mutual bliss. Beware of your tendency to fall into the roll of the victim, the savior or the martyr. Your lean towards unconditional empathy for yourself and others might not do you any favors in this world where self-preservation is so important. Empathy is a great, but if it’s not paired with healthy boundaries it’s draining and depleting. You might be reflective of other people and prone to absorb a lot of their emotional content – having resistance to embody concrete boundaries of self in terms of preference, opinion and stance. However, the tension of not being able to declare your self-centered needs and letting others set the tone might not work out – you’ll find yourself switching to being incredibly stubborn and demanding, surprising others with a strong and willful emotional temperament, unwilling to compromise. You have a tendency to end up in dynamics with others where you’re playing the reasonable and passive role in certain situations, while dealing with emotionally dramatic, moody and selfish people on the “outside”. The outside in this case is just you disowning and projecting your own emotionally dominant nature.

You are a quite bold, expansive and enthusiastic and explorative person – out to have fun and enjoy variety. However, this side of your would could also be projected, making others seem very exuberant and energetic in your presence while you have a hard time accommodating for these traits without loosing hold of yourself. You would have to adjust yourself in order to let lose and be carefree. Last but not least I would say that you’re identity has a great capacity for perseverance if you tap into it, a perceptive ability that enables you to see beyond the surface level of experience. Exploring the depths of existence, the murkier and darker parts would excite and stimulate you.

Moon in Leo

You’re feelings want to be on display. You need attention to thrive whether you’re conscious of it or not. You tend to take remarks and comments from others personally – there’s little detachment from outside opinions. You’re default setting is to approve of yourself and display your emotions proudly. Uncompromising approval of yourself not only makes you very stubborn, it also establishes a sense of authority. “My emotions should be catered to” could be an inner attitude – there’s likely something demanding  about your presence. Feelings of inferiority and incompetence hits particularly hard, which might cause you to puff up even more, hold your head even higher and turn snarky. You’re likely to hold on to feeling states for long periods until you feel that they have been “recognized “ and “validated” enough. When your needs are met you can be extremely loving – especially with the people that you consider to be part of your close circle. When you’re safe and comfortable you radiate confidence. In fact, that is what you do most of the time, even during your weaker moments. You have the great advantage of being able to own your feelings, to make them part of your life’s journey, to treat them like jewels – precious and personal even if they occasionally turn dark. You are playing the starring role in your life, there’s no question about it. There’s a sense of integrity and self-respect that is characteristic of your emotional nature. You would feel like you deserve the best and would be deeply upset if life disappoints. The mundane doesn’t satisfy you on an emotional level, you crave more than just carrying out the necessary routines of life and having a comfortable living situation. Life must have some drama to it in one way or another – you have to live in honor of love. That means that your daily activities and living situation must be imbued with the meaning of love. Everything you do is done in an attitude of granting yourself the very best of the experience. You’re emotional nature motivates you to act and accomplish things. Asserting your needs comes naturally and you generally stick to your set path because you are sure of what you feel should happen. You have great force and conviction backing your feeling nature. There’s a proclivity to want to dominate and manipulate others to cater to your needs, to be dependent on pleasing and satisfying to you. There’s an intensity and perseverance to your emotional nature, you are sure of your ability to cope in difficult situations without breaking apart emotionally. However, you might need to carefully adjust the way you communicate your needs, there’s an inconsistency in how well you are able to understand yourself mentally – and how well you communicate your feelings with others. Some insight and careful adjustment in how you think about yourself might be needed as to establish more a more accurate mental representation of your needs. The same goes for your idea of happiness – it might not completely rhyme with what you actually need to be fulfilled. Consider these things carefully. On another note, there might be a tendency to detach from emotions, to crave change and novelty, which might backfire quite badly. When you get too intensely caught in feeling things you would be inclined to want to change environment, move about and uproot. This might take a toll on your security needs and make you unpredictable in relationships. People might fear that you’ll get up and leave when things get too personal. You could even have this experience with others relative to your own emotions – people usually can’t handle the personal nature of your emotional expression and want to bolt or intellectualize the experience.

Mercury in Capricorn

Your way of communicating and interacting is deliberate and concentrated. You might not be excessively chatty or scattered; you choose your words because you are aware of their importance. There’s something very smooth and polite in your way of interacting, it’s predictable which would make others feel secure. You wouldn’t say things that could get you into trouble or cause disruption unnecessarily. That being said, you might come off as overly self-conscious in your exchange with unfamiliar people. It might make communication strained and awkward because everything is so calculated and thought through. Truth is, mental interaction with the environment takes focus for you, it’s not a matter of play -it’s something that has to be worked on. Your mental faculties are a bit slow, but this doesn’t mean that you lack of intelligence. It takes longer time for you to process things than some people but when you have, you’re completely sure of your knowledge and ability. Everything you do on a mental level is acquired rather than given. Speed and effectiveness in receiving and responding to things might develop over time. The challenge is to have patience in you learning process and in your communication with others. You want things to be done right which is quite admirable and responsible, however it might cause restriction of creativity and expression. You might have difficulty trusting yourself to understand things and to interpret things the right way. There’s likely a lot of second-guessing going on, causing you to work harder on establishing the reality of your conceptualizations. You would prefer to converse with people in contexts that you are familiar with, where you’re sure of the pattern of communication. People who are too quick, creative and individualistic in their way of interacting might make you uncomfortable. You would definitely stick to crowds where there’s not too much ambiguity present, where it’s possible to talk things over in concrete terms. You would dislike having to “think for yourself” or “just say what comes to mind”. There’s no spontaneity to you way of interacting, you’re always calculating the appropriate response. On another note, you’re intellect is positively stimulated by art and beauty. You might benefit from communicating artistically, through any medium or venue that appeals – it could be through clothing, through interior decorating or anything that concerns style and taste. You have a mind that thrives in refined and aesthetically pleasing spaces.  You seek to consume and react to beauty intellectually. You would find yourself mentally preoccupied with perfecting yourself and your environment – it would keep your mind pleasantly busy. However, there might not be a genuine exchange and adaptability in your interactions – you could frequently end up provoking anger and frustration in people. You could have a hard time finding common ground with others and they with you. There’s a lot a frustration present in interaction and learning – you don’t want to take things in, you want to assert and proclaim your knowledge. You’ll learn what you want; the rest is dumped along the wayside. There’s great energy to be stirred through learning and interacting– you will feel anger and frustration creep up or it will creep up in others in your environment. It’s likely that you’ll find that your emotions need to be adjusted to allow yourself to think clearly – you might have a hard time interacting when moods take over which threaten to drown out any communicative exchange. You can become unreachable to others, full of emotions and anger. Adjustment is required.

Venus in Pisces

You have a very ethereal aesthetic that is imbued with emotional undertones. You are drawn to the seemingly transcendent, symbols of the eternal and bittersweet. You have an attraction for that which lies in the background rather than in the foreground. People in the background fascinate you, catches your attention, draws you in. I’m not referring to the kind of people who have a loud presence, I’m referring to the one’s who have a soft energy, the ones who are seemingly non-existing, living in their own dream. Your preferences lie in the direction of passivity, of blending and merging. Being an emotional sponge is appealing to you, remaining open and undifferentiated. You might be good at intuitively assessing people, of appealing to their heart and drawing out their compassion and sensitivity. It’s likely that you have a sentimental streak and are able to sympathize with just about anyone in a social setting. In terms of style and taste you prefer softer colors since you wouldn’t want to stand out too much. However, you would want to draw attention to yourself through displaying receptivity. You’re social trump card is to be able to display genuine innocence which effectively lets you off the hook in most situations. You wouldn’t think there to be a need for you to be loved for your individuality, you would instead prefer someone to love you because they decided to not care about particularities. You would want someone who would love you no matter what, someone who could be one with you completely and not interact with you as a separate entity. Since your emotional needs, as already discussed, are very much centered around getting attention for your uniqueness and strong sense of self, it might take some adjustment to accommodate for your emotions and your preferences in terms of taste as to not cancel one or the other out. You might find that you like things that are mystic, withering or dissolving somehow, whether it’s a person, a book, a piece of clothing or something else that catches your eye. You’re not looking for the ordinary; if anything, you’re looking for the transcendent in the ordinary. Your mind lends itself well to experiencing the beauty you crave. You’re drawn to people’s minds and their way of thinking – the intellect seduces you. There’s a potential skill with words that would prove rewarding if activated and used. Reading, writing or speaking could prove stimulating and exciting. There’s great pleasure to be had from these activities. On a more serious note, you might find yourself attracted to intensity and it could scare you. There’s potential for attracting quite emotionally consuming relationships that have friction to them. You might not be able to admit that you crave the feeling of living on the edge of destruction a little bit and project the role of the “culprit” onto another person, making them play out primitive possessive tendencies while you reject them but secretly love them for it. In general you might find that you’re unable to love any other way than through great passion – or be loved by another in any other way. Your desires are similar to that of an animal, you have to get what you want or else you will suffer terribly. This all-consuming primitive love experience is what you crave, but it is commonly viewed as compulsive, inappropriate and too raw to risk acting out. In any case it’s wise to be conscious of it – and do with it as you please.

Mars in Taurus

You’re quite serene in stable carrying out activities. There’s a calmness and certainty to your way of taking on the world. There’s great stamina but likely difficulty of starting up smaller tasks – you thrive on long term planning – it’s through a steady and sure input of energy that you see your projects, visions and tasks to completion. The daily grind is what you’re the best at, keeping on track and not stopping for anything without having too much investment placed on the goal. Movement and routine itself is what you’re good at – putting one foot in front of the other will surely get you to where you need to go. You’re probably more of a doer rather than a thinker when it comes to getting your way. There’s a simplicity to this way of being which makes a lot of things easier – working out, cooking food or anything that doesn’t require too much thought is sometimes better done without too much technicalities and methods in the way. However, it’s easy to see how this could be to one’s disadvantage. To get the result one wants, there’s more planning and more facets to the process than just putting in the minutes or hours. It’s not always about the fact that one is doing something, it’s how it’s done that makes all the difference. You would tend to be very settled in activity, a bit too comfortable in your set tracks that you might miss the short cut to your goal. But you wouldn’t really mind because you’re made for the long distance run... or walk. You would tend to be persistent and be able to stick to set plans and work tasks. You have the ability to concentrate on something and get it done, although it might take a while. Time might not be a big issue for you; you are patient and willing to stick things out. In a nutshell, you’re at your best when you can make use of your stubborn will and consistent drive. You don’t get fired up easily, but if you’re poked one too many times you can flare up and stay in a flushed state for a while. Or, you turn quiet and “angsty” in your blocked state. You’re likely not fond of the discomfort and disharmony of anger and would much prefer to get out of it. Physical activity might really help to get the discordant energy out of your system. Something simple that doesn’t require too much thought would be perfect. Chances are that you are the most challenged in a fast paced environment with a lot going on at the same time. You require a set routine, a fixed working schedule because you thrive when you’re settled in your ways. Having to constantly adapt, change, reevaluate and rearrange in your daily activities doesn’t sit well with you. You’re motivated by constancy, security, comfort and predictability. These are your strengths and assets. You have great self-control and sense of responsibility as well as an ability to sometimes honor your restless spark that breaks patterns and protocol. It’s not done in a disruptive way; it indicates an ability to implement new insight. You can let your emotions guide you and let them stem from affect and instinct. This is easier for you than letting your intellect dictate your actions – it usually gets in the way and causes frustration to build. You might get frustrated trying to further your will through communication – somehow the method of interacting doesn’t work well with the method of assertion. You’d be easily irritated with other people, ending up in arguments when you can’t get your will to across through communication. When you talk and engage socially, there might be a real issue to get things across in a way that doesn’t conflict with your personal way of doing things. You have a frustrated power behind your words, a force to channel into your writing or speaking.

(Chart calculated at astrotheme.com)

[matildaisautisticandproud]

April 8th - 30 Days of Autism Acceptance

April 8: What are some misconceptions/stereotypes about autism that you hate?

1. People with autism don’t want friends. Albeit this might be true to some, this isn’t true to all. Most autistics, I’ve found, want to have more friends, but either don’t know how to go about befriending people and/or people don’t want to spend time with them. Personally, for years, I always longed to have a friend who got me and that I could be open with. (I struggled to actually be myself around people my whole life and still do.) My roommate, Missy, is that friend now, but you don’t know how lonely it is going through grade school without a best friend.

Lots of other girls had besties and many of my friends had friends that they shared their most darkest secrets with; they were super close to each other. Since I didn’t know how to go about forming that connection and I am generally a reserved person, I never had that friend and it was painful. I wanted a best friend, but I didn’t know how to establish a strong connection, maintain it, and most people thought I was “weird” and didn’t really want to be my friend.

I don’t mean to throw my own pity party by saying this, but I was the person who others would one day make me feel on top of the world by including me, but then, would distance themselves once they were done with me and make me feel terrible. This constant cycle of inclusion and exclusion, interest and disinterest, was really damaging to younger me. It frustrated me and made me think the reason I couldn’t have a close, good friend was because there was something wrong with me. (There’s never something wrong with you (unless you’re a murderer or that of the like). It’s society who is in the wrong for tossing aside such a beautiful human being.)

2. People with autism can’t feel or express emotion. This statement is 100% false. By saying this, people are invalidating the emotions of autistics, which is never okay. It is true that many on the spectrum have the inability to recognize their own emotions and/or don’t express their emotions as “normal” people do, but we still have feelings. Just recently, I have gotten better at identifying what I’m feeling, but I’m still not adroit with it. Also, I think that I feel a lot more deeply that those not on the spectrum, as do many autistics. Because I don’t really express my emotions, I’ve had people say that I seem “emotionless” and “robotic” all throughout my life. I never did and still don’t think much of it; it’s just how I am.

I get scared, sad, furious, elated, and more. Just because I don’t express my emotions in a way you can understand doesn’t mean I don’t have them. My body language is just different. (Also, I’ve learned to internalize all my emotions and grievances so, no body really knows what’s going on in my head.)

3. All autistics are just like [insert name here]. As I’ve stated numerous times before, the nature of ASD is that no two manifestations of it are exactly the same. Two autistic people may share similar experiences and struggles, but autism still affects them at least slightly differently.

4. Autistics can’t understand the emotions of others and are apathetic. Many autistics actually experience “too” much empathy. Some are apathetic, but as are some people who aren’t on the spectrum. Everyone is susceptible to being apathetic.

5. An autistic person has only struggles; they’re just their autism. Yes, autism is a key part of every autistic’s life, but it is not the only aspect of who we are. I think people should focus more on what a child can do than what they can’t, overall. Sure, Mark may not be able to handle going to the mall due to overstimulation, but he is especially skilled in painting. People should focus less on faults and flaws. Just focusing on such things will make life drab and miserable; plus, people as a whole are more than just their struggles.

6. People can grow out of autism, and it is only present in children. I, along with many others, are proof that this is false. I dislike how the struggles of adults (with and without autism, ADHD, and other disorders) are ignored in society. Not all problems go away with adulthood; it isn’t some cure all.

7. “There wasn’t all this autism/ADHD/etc. stuff back in my day so, it can’t be real.” These disorders are very much real. Perhaps the numbers have been increasing, but maybe there has just been a decrease in ignorance and an increase in compassion and acceptance. Also, diagnosing has gotten much easier, and since there is more knowledge available (i.e. the Internet) than ever before, people can self-screen and then determine whether or not to be tested. The only reason I am diagnosed is because I took the time to research different disorders via the Internet and decided to get professionally evaluated.

8. “Autism is caused by one thing.” Whether this “thing” be vaccines, a gene mutation, bad parenting, trauma, etc., this statement has been proven false by science. When studying the cause of autism, scientists have found that in one person, one gene could be the contributor to the person’s autism while in another, it’s a combination of several genes. The cause is unknown, but bad parenting has been debunked. However, there is evidence to suggest that the presence of heavy metals within a person’s system may be a possible cause. (Numerous children with autism have been found to have high levels of heavy metals within their body.)

As for the vaccine statement, it is unknown whether or not they do or don’t cause autism. There was a study carried out with the goal of proving or disproving the claim, but since the data was skewed, the results are invalid. I don’t necessarily support the claim, but there is not enough evidence for either side of the argument for me to take a side. I am a neutral in this debate. Though, I don’t believe that one should risk the death of their child just because they’d rather not have an autistic child. We’re not that bad; several parents love having an autistic child.

9. Autism only affects the brain. Again, I and many others are living proof that this claim is false. Many people with autism have co-occurring conditions like allergies, food sensitivities, gastrointestinal disorders, and epilepsy. Personally, I have numerous food sensitivities and gastrointestinal issues. I haven’t gotten a name as to what is wrong with my digestive system, but I do know there is a problem given what I experience on a daily basis.

10. All autistics are intellectually disabled. All statements that start with “all autistics” are automatically false. Even if the claim doesn’t pertain to autism itself (i.e. a political belief), autistics, like other people, have their own sets of beliefs and their own lifestyles. We’re human just like you; all that’s different is how our brains are wired and the struggles we endure.

To combat this claim, many autistics have a normal to high IQ level and can excel in school. There are those who have lower IQs, but they still can excel. One’s potential to be great isn’t dictated by IQ or a disability (or an ability and/or advantage for that matter).

11. Autistic people are great at STEM (Science Technology Engineering Math) classes. No. Although I especially excel with math and loved Algebra and Calculus, not everyone does. Some of us are great when it comes to STEM courses, but others of us struggle. Not all of us are even remotely interested in STEM, as well. Some of us prefer the arts, labor-intensive activities (i.e. construction), et cetera. We all have our different strong suits.

12. All autistics are savants. Some are, some aren’t. Although we all have special interests, most aren’t savants, actually. I don’t know where I fall when it comes to being a savant or not, but I’m not some super-genius. I didn’t invent some new scientific thing when I was 12 nor did I make a groundbreaking discovery. I do want to do something great with my future career, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be worthy of stardom and fame or be labeled as a savant.

The one thing I dislike is how people dismiss the existence of savants because they hate the stereotype. Autistic savants do exist, as do non-autistic savants, and saying that they don’t is harmful. Stereotypes come from somewhere, right? Savants exist and they deserve representation and appreciation too.

13. Autistic people don’t have relationships and moments of intimacy. Yes, they do. I personally don’t want a relationship right now nor do I want to engage in such intimate acts, but others do.

14. Autism kills marriages. This myth was made widespread by the infamous organization Autism $peaks. Sure, it may end some marriages, but why marry someone who is autistic then? If you truly loved the person then, you would accept them, autism and all.

15. Nonverbal autistics are all intellectually disabled. Although some are, not all are. A handful are highly intelligent. Autism isn’t a one size fits all thing.

16. Autistic people can’t do anything on their own/will never be independent. Some autistics won’t be able to be independent, but not all. Others don’t need any support while some, like me, need minimal support. People with all sorts of aid requirements exist on the autism spectrum. Each of us needs differing levels of support; also, especially so if one also has a chronic illness, some days I will be able to be completely independent, but the next day I may need lots of external support.

17. Having an autistic child is a tragedy. Yes, autism does make things more challenging, but there’s a silver lining in it. Like every other child, autistics are capable of great things and have talents. If people would just look past the struggles, label, and faults then, they’ll see an amazing person who isn’t just a diagnosis, but a fully fledged human being.

18. Autistic people are just rude. On honesty, we are not trying to be rude when saying the truth. In our brains, it is something that is acceptable to say. Many of us thrive on being honest as our brains tend to rely on logic more than anything else. By pointing out the size of your nose, we’re not trying to be rude. Personally, I don’t really struggle with being too honest, but sometimes I do say things aloud that shouldn’t be said. I just think of it as uttering an observation; I have no rude intents. When I am trying to be rude, you will know XD.

On conversational difficulties, it’s not that we don’t want to talk to you, it’s that we don’t know how to continue and/or initiate conversations. Not all autistics struggle a lot when it comes to social communication, but some do. Those who do, we just don’t know how to go about conversing “as normal”. We can’t help it. We’re not being rude. I struggle to continue and start conversations, which has led to many people thinking that I don’t like them. If you want to have a proper, lengthy conversation with me then, you have to start it and be able to keep it going.

On eye contact, we don’t mean to seem rude by not looking you in the eye when talking. For me, maintaining eye contact is distracting, which means that my focus is being directed away from what you’re saying, making me not able to adequately listen to you. Some autistics have little to no problems with eye contact.

19. “You don’t have to stim. Therefore, you’re just doing it to annoy me.” For me, it takes a lot of courage for me to feel comfortable with stimming around you. So, by ridiculing me for doing something that soothes me, you’re furthering my insecurity about it and hurting me. People who stim do it to self-soothe and to regulate themselves. Would you rather I shutdown (go nonverbal), experience sensory overload, or even have a meltdown? I don’t think so. Let people stim. Some of us don’t stim, but it is a lifeline for some of us.

20. “You don’t look autistic.” Well, riddle me this: What does autism look like to you? Apparently, we have completely different views on what an autistic person looks like. For me, an autistic person is anyone (a friend, neighbor, family member, student, teacher etc.) from any walk of life of any religion, lifestyle, culture, etc. The “autism look” is the generic person to me. Is there a specific way we should look, though? Please tell me more about your vision of how an autistic person outwardly appears.

I could go on about this subject for hours, but I’ll stop myself here. If you want me to debunk more myths and/or react to certain common sayings/stereotypes then, please leave a message in my ask box. I really, really, really! want to write more about this topic.

[shelikesthosefunnypeople]

Pls explain more abt the ancient history thing b I’m very interested

Hello anon!

I know this was sent in months ago and I should have replied to it then but I’m a master procrastinator and life has been strange (before coronavirus kicked off I was in the middle of preparing for exams). Anyway, I’m happy to answer this.

I made a post in the distant past, basically saying that I think there is a view that history before 1800 is somehow less intellectual and that this is rooted in sexism. That post is here. Allow me to explain and please bare in mind that this is all just my opinion and is based off my experiences.

Apologies for the length.

Firstly, I love history. I’m a complete geek for it. I think it’s important, interesting and with a bit of luck I’ll be studying it at university soon. Therefore, this isn’t a post where I try to claim that actually history before 1800 is superior... because that’s just dumb. History is history and while historians can have personal preferences over which period they find most interesting, that doesn’t make that period “better” than any others. Literally. I mean, everything leading up to the present day didn’t happen in isolated, distinct boxes and all of it is useful to understanding how modern society has developed.

It makes sense that there is a general interest in “modern history”. After all, it is interesting and we have more information about it thanks to technological developments. The 20th century was a time of massive change if you compare 1900 to 2000 - although, I’m sure it’s easy for us to see the difference, seeing as the 20th century wasn’t so long ago in the grand scheme of things and many people who are alive today lived through a part of it. I’m sure people living in the early part of any century probably thought (if they had access to history) that the start and end of the previous century were hugely different. Nevertheless, I agree that the 20th century is quite profound in this respect, at least at the moment. In 100 years, who knows?

The 19th century also offers us a lot more remnants than its predecessors and I think culturally is still viewed as important. Some people have a rose tinted view of the 19th century. In Britain, I’d say it is seen by those of a certain political persuasion (check out Tory MP Jacob Rees-Mogg) as a time of peak Britishness(TM) and nationalistic pride... although that narrative is simplistic and disregards the suffering of the colonies and indeed the working classes of Britain, who had to prop up all this “greatness”. Anyway, I’m sure if you found a stuffy 19th century bloke, he would tell you how his society’s morality has gone to complete shambles and that he yearns for a bygone era that only really exists in his mind. I guess that’s just what some people always do. Conservatives, eh?

I’ll actually get to the point now.

At my college, there were two history courses available: modern (involving subjects such as the Russian Revolution and Britain from about 1950-2007) and pre-modern (involving subjects such as the crusades and the English Reformation). I took the latter course and was in a class of 18, where there were 13 girls and 5 boys. Generally, the modern history classes were weighted in the opposite way, which simply suggests that at my particular college with my particular year group, boys had a preference for modern history and girls for pre-modern. I would argue that this preference appears to be more widespread in general, but that’s not definite.

The fact that this difference existed is not the problem. The problem is what people perceived this difference to mean.

I was told by a boy (not a nice boy, so not a representation of everyone) who was studying history that the course I was taking was “the gay version”. That, of course, is a puerile insult for 2020 and highlights his maturity level - all history is very, very gay and if you take issue with that then I don’t know what to tell you. Get your head out of your arse, maybe? But anyway... why did he feel superior about studying a different bit of history?

It wasn’t just him. A (male) teacher once told me that the history course I had chosen wasn’t as useful as the other one and that the only use it had was that I could apply transferable essay writing skills to my other subjects. Which was bollocks, might I add. Unsurprisingly, he wasn’t a history teacher.

So, where were these views coming from? Why was the English Reformation - which was basically 16th century Brexit - seen as lesser than the Russian Revolution? The obvious argument one could make is that events that have happened more recently are more important and have more of an impact today. However, without the events of the years before them, would these events have happened either? Does the Church of England not still exist? Do we not have a statue of Richard the Lionheart in Westminster (because we like giving statues to tossers, apparently)?

In my opinion, the answer to this odd hierarchy of time periods lies in gender socialisation and the propensity of people to view history in the same way they view fiction. We know that the traditional male/female gender socialisation patterns are different: boys are socialised to be “tough”, “leaders”, “aggressive” etc. whilst girls are socialised to be “submissive”, “friendly”, “polite” etc. This is hopefully changing now but inbuilt, subconscious biases about the genders and what quantifies masculinity and femininity are still around. There is the stereotype of boys being interested in war due to the toys they were given to play with. Surprise, surprise - warfare in the 20th century alone was vastly different to anything that had come before it and, as I said, due to technology we have more archived about it. I’m not suggesting that only boys are interested in historical war - again, that’s a stereotype. Anyone can be interested in war, 20th century or otherwise. Despite this, I’m not going to pretend there still aren’t those guys who get waaaay into warfare and that their interest and knowledge in history is largely confined to that subject.

And that’s fine! You know, as long as you don’t start worshipping Hitler or anything equally creepy. People aren’t experts on every little bit of history and are allowed to have stereotypical interests.

Yet, that still doesn’t explain completely why “modern history” is viewed as more intellectual, just because maybe it appeals slightly more to men (apart from the obvious that anything men like is viewed as superior in some way).

As historical societies are notably different to our own - especially on the surface - and because there is so much historical fiction that seeks to romanticise it, it is not massively surprising that many people do see history as an extension to fiction. It’s gone, we live in the now, lots of people don’t even believe history matters. The fantasy genre has a habit of adopting historical (often medieval) settings for its tales. It’s an obvious example but Game of Thrones was a retelling of the Wars of the Roses, amongst other things. I think when fantasy is applied to history it makes it seem even less real than it may already and this can lead to it being taken less seriously (though please do watch Horrible Histories or Blackadder and take the piss out of all time periods because humans of every age have been fallible). Of course, it is far easier to romanticise and play around with times that are further from our own because they are further detached and therefore more fantastical. This plays into post-1800 being seen as more “real” and “intellectual”.

Some men who wish to keep women out of the historical circle accuse them of only being interested in history because of “romance” or “fancy dresses” - princesses and knights and fairytales. This is more a low down problem with internet trolls than actual, published historians but the issue still stands. If you view “pre-modern” history through this veil of fiction then it must seem rather childish compared to the stark brutality of the World Wars and the political rise of the New Right in the West. However, conversely, it could also be argued that the nationalism and legend attached to recent warfare makes it equally comparable to a story. Not a happy story but then, Game of Thrones isn’t a happy story either.

I don’t think anyone serious about history actually believes that the romantic, fantastical elements attached to any historical periods are 100% true. Hopefully, most people don’t see them as proof that being interested in a certain period makes you better than someone who is interested in another period. Any period can be romanticised, including the “modern” one - Titanic, anyone? Not to mention the frilly view we have of the Victorians (although that’s not silly because of the Britishness(TM), remember). Actually, using history in fiction and even making fiction about history isn’t even a bad thing and I certainly encourage it. I just think that the truth shouldn’t be conveniently forgotten by those with weird superiority complexes who think that because The Tudors was all about love trysts and fine clothing, the entire period is “girly” and a write off.

What am I saying amongst this rambling mess? The next time you see a girl going through her Ancient Egypt phase, don’t roll your eyes. Not if you wouldn’t do the same when you see a boy with an interest in WW2 tanks. Whichever way people come to their interest in the past is valid (apart from the creepy fascist worshipping I mentioned). A lot of things in our world are gendered when they shouldn’t be; history should be equally open to all and although there is a focus on the past 200 years (just look at the uni modules on offer), that doesn’t mean that if you are interested in the years before, your interest isn’t valid enough.

I hope I’ve managed to explain myself properly and have gotten through how gender plays into this sufficiently. I know this is a very niche thing to have an opinion on and I’d like to stress again that this is just my opinion and you are free to disagree with me. That said, if you send me hate then don’t expect a proper response.

Thanks for the ask!

[hillonphotography]

On Landscape Interview 2019

By Paul Hill & Tim Parkin | Posted November 12, 2019 

For the Meeting of Minds conference last year, we printed off a picture for Paul Hill, but sadly it didn't arrive in time for the exhibition. Paul asked us to donate it to the Stills Gallery in Edinburgh. Whilst dropping it off, we had a quick chat with Paul and his partner, Maria Falconer, about art and contemporary photography and some of the subjects he's approaching in his rewrite of "Approaching Photography".

https://youtu.be/yt3_nmt-LfI

Tim Parkin (TP): I wanted to talk about this possible disparity between what could be called your typical ‘hobby’ practitioner of photography and the more academic/contemporary side of photography (pictorial, romantic vs ‘new’ ways of looking at photography). I was wondering if you still see this dichotomy in photography? Or do we get hobbyists transcending the pictorial or contemporary/fine art/academic photographers embracing a bit of beauty now and again?

Paul Hill (PH): There is definitely a cross over, and there always will be. It’s a personal problem for me, actually sticking to one subject matter. I think it just negates so many possibilities for making interesting pictures or stretching yourself as a photographer. You can end up essentially illustrating your hobby or your interests which makes it very difficult to change tack or make quantum leaps. In workshops, we come across a lot of people who you would say are mainstream hobbyists but they take on board and embrace the more challenging ideas that we talk about. I think they haven’t previously, largely because they haven’t had an art or photographic education, and so to be put in these situations is unique for them. It’s the first time and a lot of them really take to it. Because it’s new, it’s different.

TP: Is it essentially a lack of exposure and a lack of knowledge? So, are they essentially receiving mixed messages from the vernacular use of landscape?

PH: What I was trying to say in the talk at the Meeting of Minds conference was, why are you here, why are you doing it? Are you aware of all the possibilities that are there to explore? Express something that might be your own involvement rather than looking at templates and matrices. These templates have been provided by talented people who found their own way there and were innovative for their time or expressed something which was more than just the information that’s in front of them when they photograph. Photography appears very easy but the more you get into it is a lot more complicated, or at least it can be. Essentially, on a surface level, you can make a picture quite easily.

EXPRESS SOMETHING THAT MIGHT BE YOUR OWN INVOLVEMENT RATHER THAN LOOKING AT TEMPLATES AND MATRICES. THESE TEMPLATES HAVE BEEN PROVIDED BY TALENTED PEOPLE WHO FOUND THEIR OWN WAY THERE AND WERE INNOVATIVE FOR THEIR TIME OR EXPRESSED SOMETHING WHICH WAS MORE THAN JUST THE INFORMATION THAT’S IN FRONT OF THEM WHEN THEY PHOTOGRAPH.

I put the picture of a butterfly made by my iPhone on Facebook the other day. You may have seen it, Tim. I saw these butterflies which were tortoiseshells and painted ladies, down this footpath. So, I tried to get close with the iPhone and I did and I got them. The results are absolutely stunning. You would not even be able to get that quality if you used a macro and a flash. A normal lens would not be able to have done it because of the minimum focusing distance, so you wouldn’t be able to get close enough, and all the rest of it. I’m writing a new edition of my book “Approaching Photography” and I’m using this example of how photography has moved on since 1982 when the first edition came out.

TP: But the modern camera takes it all away doesn’t it?

PH: What I’m saying is, that is the difference between now and then. It’s become relatively easy to make an image nowadays and at the end of the day, that’s what it’s about. If we know we can do that, without too much hassle, we know how to drive the machine, then we can go on to try to explore ideas with that new skill that you have now acquired. These skills aren’t at a high level it has to be said. Nothing like comparing yourself with a concert pianist, for instance.

YOU’VE GOT THIS WONDERFUL MACHINE TO RECORD THAT AND TELL YOU THE STORY THAT YOU WANT TO, WHICH IS IMPORTANT AS AN INDIVIDUAL BECAUSE WE ARE ALL UNIQUE, AND WE ALL HAVE OUR OWN STORIES, AND HISTORIES.

However, that ease releases you to say anything you want and visually deal with any sort of subject matter, in all sorts of different places, and different areas - intellectually or physically - that you want to. You’ve got this wonderful machine to record that and tell you the story that you want to, which is important as an individual because we are all unique, and we all have our own stories, and histories. That's what I’m interested in - other people’s photographs and stories. I don’t want to see a style that may look great but is repeated and repeated. Whether it’s down in Lands End or John O’Groats, I’ve seen those pictures, everyone has seen those pictures, and that’s fine. There’s a market for people who want to buy those or use them as illustrations. But they are not very individual or original.

I’ve done quite a bit of writing for photographic magazines - and known quite a few editors over the years - and one should never forget that these are mostly all consumer magazines. They don’t exist unless they sell advertising and they also sell a lifestyle. And the market for cameras is now the amateur one. That’s why the emphasis is on the amateurs and on high spec gear, that’s what they are trying to sell. They wouldn’t be doing themselves any favours if they said “it isn’t about the camera gear, it’s about what you do with it,'' they would lose advertisers and go bust. It’s a perfect capitalist model at the end of the day. Persuade the readers that it’s the machine. ‘You’ve got a great camera there, it must take some great pictures’

TP: Do you think academic/contemporary photography avoids certain subjects, aesthetics and ideas? Because they have become mainstream? (i.e. beauty, popular composition memes)

PH: There’s one thing Martin Parr and I have in common that is that we’re populists and a bit suspicious of too much academisation in photography. I think that the problem is with a lot of conceptual work, to use that as an example, is that you have to have a certain sort of education not only to produce it but also to understand it. Many times, the idea may have been great, but the visual representation of that idea is not very engaging. It’s using photography and the camera in a different sort of way; you’re not trying to tell a story by using visual language.

Like other experiments, these movements come in like blue sky thinking in science. People are going to explore new concepts, and even I have pushed the boat out a few times with what I’ve done. I’ve done some more conceptual pieces that are more about ideas. But if the images are not visually interesting or stimulating then I think it’s a case of throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

TP: I’ve heard this said repeatedly by a few contemporary photographers, that they avoid the use of playing with aesthetic perspectives because the effect gets in the way of what they are trying to say.

PH: Absolutely, but there is a wonderfully wide range available to us of how we use and think about photography. That’s what I was trying to say at the conference, just think about photography. Don’t necessarily think about the landscape, seascape, or the adventure. That’s all part of it but more importantly, just be aware that there are other options open to you to engage with that may relate to that location or that space.

I can understand the satisfaction of producing these wonderful photographs of waterfalls and streams etc, but It’s a bit like painting by numbers. There’s nothing essentially wrong with that, but what you tend to get is another lot of the same pictures. What you really need, to use a cliched photographic word, is exposure to other ideas. That’s why we don’t compromise on the workshops we do. We know that it’s a niche area but there are people out there who want, and respond well to, that exposure to new ideas because what that does is bring photography back to them. They are in control and not being measured by what other people can do better with their new Canon XYZ or whatever it is. They can use whatever they want photographically but try to make something that is unique.

That’s what interests me, what’s new and different, and that goes through into my photography. I’m not saying that what I’ve produced is a unique photograph or history changing, of course, it isn’t! But all of the things I’ve tried to be involved with, I have always tried to look at how it can be done from a different perspective. Because it’s boring to follow what other people have done.

BUT ALL OF THE THINGS I’VE TRIED TO BE INVOLVED WITH, I HAVE ALWAYS TRIED TO LOOK AT HOW IT CAN BE DONE FROM A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE. BECAUSE IT’S BORING TO FOLLOW WHAT OTHER PEOPLE HAVE DONE.

Photo enthusiasts are always being told to be creative but most people seem to think that means photoshop. When we started the RPS Contemporary Group - I was the first group and panel chairman - there were these people that said: “How do you define contemporary?” This does sound very condescending, but if you have to explain what contemporary is, go and join another group. But you can’t be like that as there are people who are open to the ideas and at the end of the day, it’s just semantics.

Our first option was that it was about contemporary life and thought, but that doesn’t really work either. But since then they’ve tried to find all sorts of definitions. If you look at the RPS definition, it’s a bit of a dog's dinner. Distinction panels should really be defined as either applied, academic (history, research etc), scientific or art? If you try to slice it into too many compartments it confuses people. It means that the compartmentalisation is increased, rather than the idea that we’re all in the same pool but swimming with slightly different strokes.

TP: How do you present these ideas to your audience?

PH: If you’re bringing a fresh set of ideas to people who haven’t come across them before, you have to take on board the audience and take them on a journey. We talk about what we do and it’s obvious that some of them haven’t seen work like this and would not see, in some instances, the merit of it.

They might see some merit in my picture of Enoch Powell, and they get that and it’s funny, or Maria’s dance pictures, or something like that. But when we are dealing with that which is a bit more personal, they would say “I can’t see why you’d want to photograph that”, then you have to get over that it is not actually about that object, it’s about an idea. You can talk up a set of pictures and talk the talk, but sometimes you have to walk the walk. And if it needs a lot of explanation, I get worried. Personally, I give a way marker to my work, by way of a small written or verbal introduction to whatever piece I’m doing.

TP: A hint on how to read it?

PH: Yes, this is who I am, this is what I do, without a lot of detail. For someone who talks about photography and writes about photography, I think there is such a thing as a visual language. I want to give that language a chance.

I was talking at the conference about the “one picture tells everything” - why should we take that on board, why should we follow that particular route still? Like the landscape aesthetic that was set up in the 19th century - there are so many other opportunities. If people see more work by people like Robert Adams, Simon Norfolk, Jem Southam and John Blakemore, they are going to see why John is photographing dead tulips? Not 'aren’t these beautifully crafted prints'. The print becomes the experience and the vehicle for an idea.

FOR SOMEONE WHO TALKS ABOUT PHOTOGRAPHY AND WRITES ABOUT PHOTOGRAPHY, I THINK THERE IS SUCH A THING AS A VISUAL LANGUAGE. I WANT TO GIVE THAT LANGUAGE A CHANCE..

TP: I think people have a problem in seeing contemporary/project work as a group of single images when in fact they can’t really be separated and retain their meaning.

PH: This is the problem I’m having to face as I’m basically selecting single images to illustrate a point I’m making in my book. When I’m talking about photo essays and about projects, I’ll have a matrix of images to give the idea of a body of work. But it is difficult when you’ve got to be restricted to a certain size. You have to really say the work is the book, not this one picture. There are so few opportunities to fully explore an idea, with a narrative really; but more photography books are being published than ever and with the internet, we can present these ideas using multimedia tools.

TP: So, could one of the differences between a hobbyist photographer and a contemporary art photographer be the use of single image vs the collection of images?

PH: I think that’s true. When we get people on workshops that is the one thing that is the revelation to them - you are telling them that their idea can be expanded. You can say more with the sum of the parts as it were.

Maria Falconer (MF): The idea that we can deconstruct images and they might have never really come across that idea and then they realise that it’s layered. In the same way that a whole series of images brings meaning through the different parts. That can be revelatory to them. If they’ve done anything before, they have deconstructed in a formalistic way, for example by sharpness and saturation - but not meaning. It’s the meaning in a symbolic fashion.

PH: To get back to what we were saying about why people do landscape and approach it in a particularly repetitive way. Maria is a good example of this, having come from a background of mostly photographing people and dancers. The expression Maria uses is that it is very difficult to put a frame on a landscape.

TP: Landscape doesn’t essentially have any narrative associated with it directly so you can’t frame a narrative-less landscape.

MF: I know what you mean. It’s not that I’m looking for a narrative, I just can’t put a frame around any part of it. I’ve tried so many times and I’ve come to the conclusion that is just not how I see. I love looking, I love running about, I love climbing and hiking, I just cannot frame it.

PH: After moving to the Peak District in 1974 I used the landscape as a backdrop to human forms in a project I called "Prenotations". But I realised a few things when creating “White Peak, Dark Peak”. As a resident of the area, I would go out and photograph around where I lived - a 2 mile radius to start with (and later I expanded it further). I did this as an exercise. It was in black and white using mostly flat lighting. What I realised when I got into certain interesting situations was that for whatever reason (I had a 35mm lens on my Leica) it wasn’t conforming to what I wanted. So it forced me to think about the foreground more.

I was having to think about things which I would not necessarily normally put in the picture. I found that I was looking down at what you walk on and the landscape became not the conjunction of the horizon and the sky but about the marks on the land. I am fascinated by the two-dimensionality of a photograph and how the horizontal perspective can 'flip' and can become vertical and this became a noticeable feature of "White Peak Dark Peak".

TP: That’s a nice way to think about equipment isn’t it. Most people think about equipment as “I want it to do everything. I want a system that can do everything for me”. Instead of that, let the camera be a limiting factor.

PH: That's the discipline. We do an exercise about going out with a particular focal length. I remember working as a photojournalist and on a slow news day, a colleague and myself said next time we go out we’ll just use a 28mm or a 180mm and do the job with that and see it as a challenge!

It’s that’s sort of exposure to those ideas that we are talking about. Some people are going to think, “but I’m quite happy with doing this and it conforms to what I like and it gives me pleasure”.

There was this one guy on a workshop who had a high powered job intellectually, something scientific. We have these little exercises we make people do, and a lot of people took to them really well but this one guy just couldn’t do them. People who knew him said perhaps you should have a chat with him. He said, “I never take photographs I don’t like”. Intellectually he was programmed toward perfection and we were saying “throw all that out!”. In the end, he did get it and produced some great pictures.

So sometimes you get these people who are incredibly bright, but you’ve got to get them to loosen up; and that is more difficult for somebody who’s a really keen amateur but has been, say a lorry driver all their life.

I do a talk called Moments of Recognition, which is taken from a quote by Edward Weston. There’s that idea in Zen in the Art of Archery, where you’re actually seeing beyond the target. You need to hit the target, but not look at it. I think that there is an element of Zen at that moment where you are able to put a frame on things. If you release yourself to what you viscerally are responding to, and then take a picture. There’s no way you can analyse that process. To do that is what you should try and aim to do as it opens you to seeing photographs everywhere.

I don’t believe success comes with hard work but with persistence. Persistence is hanging around long enough to know that there’s something there. Hanging around long enough knowing when the window of opportunity comes along. The difficulty with the Zen thing is that people don’t recognise when the window of opportunity is there. If you’ve been a press photographer you know, it’s when someone slips on a banana skin.

People will snap, snap getting pictures which are boring but hoping something will happen. When you see that moment you have recognised and produced this unique piece of information, data, art, whatever you want to call it, it’s got to be something that no-one else has done. That moment of time will never be repeated and that is wonderful to be able to do that. That’s what I think is very important to do - be original - because photographers are seen very much to be down the pecking order. I’m sure you’ve found that.

THAT MOMENT OF TIME WILL NEVER BE REPEATED AND THAT IS WONDERFUL TO BE ABLE TO DO THAT. THAT’S WHAT I THINK IS VERY IMPORTANT TO DO - BE ORIGINAL - BECAUSE PHOTOGRAPHERS ARE SEEN VERY MUCH TO BE DOWN THE PECKING ORDER. I’M SURE YOU’VE FOUND THAT.

TP: I’ve got a friend who’s had a successful painting career in Germany and he decided he was going to be a photographer. Everybody told him he was committing suicide commercially and artistically. He agreed completely but still did it.

PH: When we began our pioneering work in photo education and the Arts Council etc. in the 70s, we started from different points of view, and were very different individuals trying to elevate the status of photography so that it was taken seriously. In terms of sales, photographs will never be in the same league as paintings.

TP: That’s my last question, which was if one of the photographers that we speak to for instance who’s a member at a camera club and says I don’t understand it, as I look at some of these high end valued pictures and I don’t understand why they are worth so much money such as the Gursky Rhine image.

PH: Well neither do we!

TP: Is this the curse of people trading/investing in art?

PH: As a professional photographer and having earned my living out of photography one way or another since 1965, I can say it puzzles me. It's not professional jealousy, as I don’t want to take pictures like him, but it's a bit of a mystery.

I’ve found going my own way has not necessarily made me much money but the pictures that I made that people thought were a bit odd 40 years ago are now in major collections. I’ve followed my nose and it’s worked!

I’ve made a reasonable living and despite the shite, you have to deal at times, it's been wonderful and extraordinary. I had a chat once with Geoff Crawley from BJP, who came from a science background, and he said, “you’re a freelance aren’t you?” and I said "yes". He said, “I’m always interested in people who freelance and you know I think freelancing is more a lifestyle choice”. He'd worked for Ilford and been a company man and he’d never been a freelancer. He said he didn’t know if he could make such a lifestyle choice. I thought he’s right you know. Life is about making those sort of choices and, for me, the decision about freelancing was about being free.

[tomasorban]

THE ZODIAC: GEMINI THE TWINS

Date of Rulership: 21st May-22nd June; Polarity: Positive, male; Quality: Mutable; Ruling planet: Mercury; Element: Air; Body part: Arms, hands, shoulders, collarbone and lungs; Colour: Yellow; Gemstone: Agate; Metal: Mercury.

In the first two zodiacal signs, we saw raw formative powers associated with the beginnings of complex life. Like all rudimentary organisms, Aries set the wheel of heaven into motion with a Big Bang of pure spontaneity and creative activity. Taurus then neutralized these fiery irruptions of vital life force by stitching together an earthenware blanket that funnelled them away from the rest of the cosmic banter, enough to stubbornly work up a sense of self-discipline so that Life could achieve some multiple and visionary aims. Whatever else they may be, Ares and Taurus are intensely self-focused, self-styled, self-serving, and self-motivated. For General Aries and Commander-in-chief Taurus, it’s all about self and satisfaction of self. This all changes with Gemini, a sign which forces a binocular split of life’s hitherto monocular vision; pure instinct has now relegated its position to a rudimentary intelligence acquired through observation and past experience.

Facilitated by a split into two distinct entities than inhabit the space of one conscious being, this formative power is all about mental dialogue and communication. It orientates itself in the world by observing the actions and reactions of others around it, pocketing them into airtight pigeonholes as past memories, and then calculating the direction and angle of its own movement accordingly. Gemini is uninhibited, brave, experimental and multidimensional in its habits. Why race along a straight line at the speed of a bullet train like Aries or dawdle along a perpendicular one to that like Taurus when there are innumerable other options available. Gemini won’t follow a tribal leader or top dog or father figure when it comes to paving out its own life path. Instead it might take a few vigorous little steps forward, take a lunge to the side, trace out a zigzag course diagonally and then proceed to trace out circles on the spot. It needs to experience things from different angles and vantage points; Gemini might start off swimming across an uncharted ocean one minute before deciding that’s its best to grow wings and fly over it instead. Minutes into the flight it might decide that sailing, an endeavour that didn’t quite appeal at first, is indeed a superior option. In the end it decides it doesn’t really want to embark on a lengthy journey to a foreign land and so transmutes itself into a feather which floats about for some time before settling on the surface of an oscillating sea. At any rate, the courses of action it chooses never quite last for extended periods as such, for consistency and method bore the mercurially-natured Gemini. This zodiacal sign exudes mutable energy and derives from ethereal air, and so people born beneath the stars of its constellation are likely resemble breezes and tempests, scattering bits of themselves everywhere but never quite committing or infusing themselves wholly into one specific avenue of inquiry, goal or task. Like air, the “souls” born under Gemini can be wistful, light-hearted and frivolous or tumultuous, dangerous, blind and irrational, depending on which way the daily current blows. And like all lovers of brain noise, they love talking to themselves, to one another, and to everyone else, irrespective of whether their listeners are attentive or not.

“Why would you want to be an Arian or Taurean when you can be me,” says Gemini. “I’m quite the bargain you see. I’m double trouble, two twins that think they’re the same person. With me, you get two pairs of hands, legs, brains, and anything else that tickles your fancy. You’ll never be bored, not even at Sunday Christenings or conventional weddings. Sometimes, you might even feel like you’re an honoured guest at the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party. Of course, I’m the one who gets to pick the roles and tell everyone how it’s going to work; I get to play the Mat Hatter who entertains everyone with my nonsensical riddles, entangles myself in a verbal labyrinth of speaking out aloud, and laughs at my own jokes. You, my friend, can be the passive observer who doesn’t utter a word yet pretends to be interested. Okay? A little bit of this and a little bit of that will keep things interesting and our bodies looking youthful, so let’s get stuck into it.  When I want answers about why things are the way they are make certain that what comes out of your mouth is short and sweet; I don’t have the patience for verbosity, longwinded soliloquys or esoteric philosophies for that matter. I find academics, intellectuals and anyone with depth to them intimidating and sometimes excruciatingly boring.  I’m a bit like a dogmatic religion sometimes; anything that stands outside my sphere of knowledge frightens me so. Hihi… I know I can be an annoying pain in the neck but I’ll make up for it by acting as your third eyes and ears. You’ll be the first to know the latest gossip on what your enemies are all up to, and that way you can remain that one step ahead of them and look twice, if not four times as bright. When I’m feeling blue, you’ll start getting all the “why” and “what” questions, one after the other. But don’t worry, seldom do I have downers and you’ll love my blasé attitude to the human condition. What of the human condition could ever be of any importance anyway…?’  

Gemini is all about the law of twos–dual states of consciousness and mind, a propensity for double vision. One is inwardly turned, tuned into an internal world of thought, memory and imagination, and the other is outwardly turned, thriving in the exterior realm of verbal communication and physical contact. Geminis have an innate talent for living in both at the same time, and can flit between the subjective and objective planes as effortlessly and mindlessly as a circus clown juggling a quartet of coloured balls. This indicates a profound talent for mimicry and deception; they can counterfeit the emotions, feelings and images projected by others to perfection and wear them with such authentic conviction as to attract an Academy Award nomination. Hence Geminis usually make good actors and actresses, and can be quite successful in the denomination of visual arts.

The eternal unrest of their dual vision confers a supernal power seldom realised by any of the other zodiacal archetypes; the ability to chance upon reality through sheer intuition, or to encounter it with the aid of scientific instruments and measurements. A young Gemini is just as likely to become a shy and unobtrusive female artist as it is a dominant and poised male scientist. Sometimes, he or she might turn out to be a bit of both. In fact, the duality of being can be such a dominant characteristic in their psychic makeup that one can easily be fooled into thinking that there’s two individual and well-developed personalities trapped inside the same body. In encompassing polygonal and multilayered views of reality, they come equipped with a valuable philosophy that is easily transposed to a more practical level. Gemini understands that rationality offers the best lens through which life should be viewed. Rationality bestows upon its viewer a sense of providence, the feeling that life is a previous gift not to be wasted. Physical or emotional ideals distort it and imprison one within their own worries and troubles, so much in fact that one might begins to feel that life isn’t quite worth the struggle or effort anymore. Gemini’s inclination to avoid this way of thinking makes its existence a happy and harmonious one.      

If Gemini were to be represented by a different totem, it would no doubt have been the butterfly. The latter is a symbol of transformation; it begins life as larva, grows into a caterpillar, and eventually undertakes a major transformation to become a butterfly. The soul of Gemini is like a butterfly, a light-hearted and transient winged entity that flits about here, there, and everywhere, never quite knowing what to do or where to stop. Wings imply breadth of experience and freedom, a quality quite dear to Gemini; freedom abhors law, especially laws of censorship that restrict its self-expression and development. The way of Gemini is not compatible with conservative views, or moral ones even. Like the ephemeral butterfly, people born under this sign can display flashes of ingenuity but rarely does it last. This is probably a by-product of its ruling planet, Mercury, which renders it restless, somewhat unstable, volatile, and most importantly, protean.

Like Aries and Taurus, there are also two symbols associated with the zodiacal sign of Gemini. The first, a pictorial representation of two figures holding hands, has been a subject of some controversy. Astrologers can’t seem to get their heads around whether the pair are two males, two females, a male and a female, androgynous beings, and what the nature of the relationship between the two actually is; are they fraternal twins, identical twins, or unrelated lovers? The ancient cultures were just as divided on this issue as we are today: the ancient Babylonians and Greeks perceived the respective constellation as an image of male twins; the ancient Egyptians, on the other hand, were convinced it was a male-female pair; the primordial Indians saw star-crossed lovers; and the Imperial Romans saw their gods, the Delphic twins Apollo and Diana. The renowned Tarot identifies them as two lovers. Irrespective of gender or relationship status these figures were always depicted with their arms interlinked, illuminating the concept of harmony, internal and external cohesion, and requited love. The second symbol is a shorthand version utilized by astrologers in the creation of horoscopes and is comprised of two upright columns conjoined along the top and bottom. This sign, as the exposition has thus far revealed, has everything to do with duality of being and with the conunctionis or marriage of opposites. Esoterically, one might choose to view this glyph as a conjunction of the Chinese yin and yang or the alchemical mercury and sulphur.  It is also a fine representation of an inexplicable link between an upper, heavenly realm of spirits, ideas, and telepathic communication and a lower, earthly plane of concrete and clearly demarcated physical forms.

Both signs draw attention to the fundamental nature of complex life. The one becomes two and the two become one again. Everything that exists in the cosmos seeks contact, union, and co-existence with an immediate likeness without having to forfeit its own identity or personality in the process. Both signs represent opposition and conjunction, and both draw attention to a mortal state of division whose primary purpose is to reconcile all opposites within itself and unite with God. Of course the condition of being alienated from one’s source also has the adverse effect of inciting restlessness and mental agility.

[holy-mountaineering]

This is @draugadottir ‘s

Thank you, as always, for donating!

You know the drill. I’ll go down the Tree from the top and then give a summary/synopsis of the spread as a whole at the end.

Think of this spread as a sort of quantum map, or even the land of a regular map, everything is happening at once, in each place. It’s important to think of yourself as moving “through” the map but you are also simultaneously everywhere at once. For the sake of this specific experiment, think of this as a map.

Where we’re starting the journey from is Kether, the monad, the first sign of creation. We’ll call this your hometown, since it is where you’re from originally. Here we have the Ace of Disks, the root power of Earth or the material. This is the foundation which all your solid structures are and will be built on. This is the very root of your real world/material life situation. While this doesn’t mean you must tear everything down or that there is nothing in your material world that you've built, it does mean you must look at the source from which you've built your material and everyday world. If you have no foundation you can have no structure. If you have a shoddy foundation, you'll have a shoddy structure. Look to what things were like where you are before you began building. Is there sand beneath you? Are you in a swamp, building castles of stone that will bind to the mud and be pulled down much sooner than later? Did you account for the raise in elevation when you laid your foundation? Look down to the base of what you've made and what you've made it upon. This is an engineering job, you’ll need tools to measure and level everything out. The occult might not be the best place to find these tools and it is possible that you have issue much more base than you're willing to cop to. There are many tools you can use to look at your foundation provided in psychology and meditation from other sources. The Universe throws us extreme situations and more often than not, this is the only way people see their basest of instincts and behaviors really act out. If you can, take a look at what connects you and what you’re building to the Earth before an earthquake, tornado, volcano, or other act of G-D forces you to pray everything was fine. Check the strength of your foundations before the strength of your foundations are checked. Get down to the base fundamentals of what is going on in your material (things, money, living situation, literal stuff) and build from the ground up if you must.

In Chokmah, which is like your freeway getting you out onto the road out of your hometown is the 4 of Cups, Luxury. This is “squaring up” emotionally and creating a greater emotional balance. Lvna the Moon absorbs the light of Sol the sun and reflects it back to Earth, but only enough emotionally to help you stay stable and protected (Cancer the crab with an exoskeleton to protect it’s soft inside parts). Don’t get too comfy though, don’t mistake squaring up (getting correct) with being a scared square.

In Binah, which is ruled by Saturn and for the sake of this reading we will call the first stop on your roadtrip. You haven’t really arrived anywhere but you’re stopping and getting a chance to repack your car in a more efficient way. Sitting in Binah is IV The Emperor, Tzaddi, Aries. The Emperor is the activating consort of III The Empress. He is King of Spring, the sign of Aries being his energy. He has the energy of the Sun, who in spring gets closer to the Earth and revitalizes the plant growth. The Emperor is formulated, active energy that causes force and growth. This is new growth brought about like the spring that Aries heralds. Like the season of Spring, this card is activating the the potential growth of the Earth, that is to say, the time is right to spring forth and grow as you can, with what you have. Get formulated and active. Put things in their place or notice the NATURAL orbits of things. What works is that which grows from your energy.

In Chesed which is ruled by Jupiter and again for the sake of this experiment we’ll say involves your influence and benevolence in your current trip is the Princess of Cups, the earthy part of Water. We could consider this the substance in water or water hitting substance head on. This is the idea of the canyon wall being ground down over the millennia by moving water. The nutrients and minerals in the earth are transported down river to the fertile delta. This is the natural, “following your feelings” within your daily life. Try not to fool yourself, follow your intuition, not just passing whims. Feel, don’t necessarily react immediately. Go with what you feel and intuit, let yourself go with the flow, if you will. Allow your situation to move with your emotions and be patient with your progress.

Across the Tree in Geburah, which is Mars Town, where you find your drive and what you’re trying to accomplish/conquer is Queen of Cups, the watery part of Water, total emotion and intuition. This Queen looks through her reflective eyes at the ripples on a pond at the reflection of the moon which reflects the Sun. She isn’t so much interested in looking directly at a thing as she is looking at the effects. The tides being ruled by the Moon was discovered by observation of the correlation of movements of both Lvna and the comings and going of the tides. Her animal is the Ibis, who on one leg intently stares at the surface of the water. This was perceived as meditation and contemplation by the wise people of Khemet and they attributed the ibis to Djehudi or Thoth the wisest of their pantheon. But like ibis you have to act when the fish swims by or you’ll starve. Do not look directly at a problem or situation you feel strongly about. Look for effects and causation not the point of impact.

In Tiphareth, the Sun and center of gravity holding all this in place, the heart pumping the blood through this, your heart is 2 of Cups, Love. Like all the 2s the deuces of Water is building towards completion. This is the ever becomingness of love. Love never dies it is simply transformed like any other energy. Love isn’t a competition or something you can measure. You never stop loving someone/thing because you have “reached maximum love levels”, shake hands and walk away from it. There is no end-game to love and that’s why it’s scary and makes people act like idiots sometimes. Astrologically, Venus in Cancer can be interpreted as nurturing your emotional growth. Build on what you’re feeling and don’t try to think about anything too concretely emotionally or intuitively. This is a building process so try not to focus on the final outcome but work with what you have now.

In Netzach, Venus town, where you have the realization about how this is going to change you as a person with a personality is the 6 of Cups, Pleasure. For reasons I call this the plumbing card. The water is not flowing freely as though it is pouring, it has been pumped through a series of tubes intricately woven together to fill the cups placed in the shape of a hexagram. Emotion and connectedness to life are intentionally being directed by unseen but invited forces. Someone who wasn’t looking closely could see nothing but knots and chaos and even wonder how the damn thing worked in the first place. Those people are squares and should be avoided at all costs. Do what gives you pleasure that also instills clarity. Center on the best you can feel even if onlookers can’t appreciate what you’re doing connoisseurs (and you) will dig it.

In Mercury Town Hod-ville, where all the Universities are and everyone has real intellectual shit going on is the Ace of Swords, the root power of Air or the mind. This is the sword of the Magus and the magician’s Sword is the physical representation of our mind and it’s ability in its rawest state of being. Thelema is inscribed on the blade of the Sword in Greek because the Magus uses their mind to the end of their True Will. The Crown of light at the tip of the Sword is the illuminated mind, because in its singleness and sharpness it is the foundation of the mind, intellect, and communication powers. Use your mind for what you need it to do. Remember that a sword is useless at best and dangerous at worst when it isn’t handled correctly. You can cut down an army with a sword, but you can also cut your whole-ass leg or arm off too with one too. Knowledge is dangerous and scary, be prepared.

On the Moon in Yesod, the receptive and reflective place that is alot about the feelings that you’re picking up from all this is the Ace of Cups, the root powers of water which is emotion, connectedness to living things, and intuition. This is the geyser of the aspects of water exploding into existence. The Ace of Cups can be like the yearly floods on the Nile was to ancient Egyptian/Kemetic people that once a year had their fields simultaneously wiped out and fertilized. There is great danger in unbound Love, it tends to get consuming and people fear being consumed. There is a secret meaning to the joining of two to make none, but this isn’t really the place for that. The uncontrolled waterfall of feeling, it can flow and be a clearing force or flood. If you’re not prepared for such water, you might get washed away, if you are it might wash away the cobwebs and your stagnancy.

Down here in Malkuth-istan, the everyday life mundane, waking up pooping, and going to work world is the 9 of Swords, Cruelty (to self, mostly). Like the other 9s this is a massive building up, in this case of Air, mind, thinking, communicating. This is beating yourself up about a decision that must be made. Astrologically, Mars in Gemini relates to action being thwarted because of a split mind on a matter. You are mentally at a fork in the road and you need to make a choice one way or another.

You’re building up a lot of ideas but you need to decide which way you want to go or it’s going to keep tearing you up mentally. There is a lot of force and mass here, move it.

Soooooooooooooo, let’s go through this progression, real quick at first.

Going to the root of Who You Are in this incarnation, nurturing that, so that you can rule properly over your Kingdom of You. Go with the Flow of You. You are Feeling Pulled a certain way for a Certain reason, follow that and trust it more than your logical Because brain wants. Speaking of that, do not allow that Because brain narrow your focus. Even in your mundane relations, look deeper and not to traumas, but at the effects. Always, like ya do, act from Love, it is what is animating you and all this mess.

You are going to grow how you want to grow, I think you’ve learned that to be true by now. You have to let that fucking logical brain go for a while so you can feel your way through this stuff your mind can’t properly deal with. And again, speaking of the mind, in order to communicate you’re basically going to have to learn a new language, your native language. And in your relations, there will be a flood, raised waters, cleansing and flushing, what remains, is what will go to seed and grow.

Not making a choice is making a choice. It is the worst of the three options you have. Pick a better one.

There it is, terrible bedside manner and all!

I’m around if you have any questions or anything, otherwise have a good night!

[scinerdrobb]

Seeing something you never expected

I think one of the (rare) positive contributions that social media has given is the ability to see ourselves in others in a position we never thought possible. I would hate to imagine Hollywood in 2019 without social media as I truly believe it is the main source of change needed where we finally saw superhero movies led by black people and women. I mean, who knew that non-white men could be heroes, amiright? (*glares*)

But this positive contribution does come at a cost: desperately looking for someone like you and still not finding it. For me, that’s been the elusive Gay Male Nerd. So elusive that an episode of Will and Grace v 1.0 titled “The Birds and the Bees” revolved around it (well, it was the “Hot Gay Nerd” played by the late and great Luke Perry, but you know what I mean). It would’ve been much better  (or at least it would have met more to me) if that episode didn’t end with the nerd picking money and Jack in a really awful “plot twist”. 

It a community whose fundamental string of inclusivity is on the basis of sexuality, it really shouldn’t come as a surprise that intelligence in not celebrated. I have been told to NEVER mention I’m working on my PhD if I’m looking to date BY GAY MEN WITH PhDS. I know three sex workers who have advanced degrees who left that behind because they literally told me that intellectual pursuits and interested offered no fulfillment in terms of their personal lives like they had hoped. Being single and nerdy is still being single and that’s hard enough (I guess, I don’t know. I don’t know what not-single is). And when I mention this, straight people are surprised. Which surprises me. Look at how straight men treat intelligent women. What honestly makes you think gay men are any better? 

It’s easy to come across as cynical (I am) and jaded (you betcha) about this. But growing up, all I’ve ever seen that I can be was extremely limited: sassy best friend who designs and has a lot of sex, sassy best friend who acts and has a lot of sex, sassy friend in the service industry who has a lot of sex, or a sassy friend who dies of AIDS. I still see it now. Lesbians and bisexual women can be a lot of things in popular culture (hell yeah!), but gay men? Hell, I was happy to see a gay actor play a straight scientist on a few seasons of CSI that I counted that as something I needed (come to think of it, I wonder if Gil Grissom is bisexual? He’s my hero). Still, I cannot count on two hands where images of intellectual gay men existed pre-2012. 

Then Brooklyn 99 happened. The fantastic relationship between Captain Raymond Holt and his husband Dr. Kevin Cozner offered me just a little bit of hope. I would watch that show just see how these two nerdy characters exist, let alone function. Finally images of gay men who spend time developing their minds over their Instagram bodies.

That leads me to my point. The past 6 months saw the rise of this humble nerd from Indiana: Pete Buttigieg. And then his husband, Chasten, joined the scene as they work on a campaign for President. Two happily married giant nerds. I feel like I has someone in real life that I can look up to, which has only happened once before.

Working on my undergraduate degree, I was beyond excited when I found out there was a lesbian in the physics department. Finally, I thought, someone who understands where I may be coming from and may be able to offer wisdom and guidance. It was important to me to see her in her office or at the blackboard in a lecture hall because I finally saw someone like me in a position that I hoped to be in. Unfortunately it wasn’t a good experience when I realized a few things about this professor and was happy to not see them again, but hey, you live and you learn.

When I see Pete and Chasten in the news or on social media, the teenage gay kid in me stares in disbelief. Do I finally have someone that gives people like me some visibility to be something we are told we shouldn’t be? Someone who teaches himself a different language simply to read a new book over someone who teaches himself a new workout routine to get his biceps to look really good on the beach? Take me out of the picture for one second: imagine a nerdy kid who already doesn’t know how to talk about same-sex relationships being bombarded with images that celebrates nothing that they personally value who sees Pete and Chasten. That’s important. That makes me thrilled and excited and possibly hopeful. Do I think he will get the nom? That’s not the point. The point is that I hope they stay as visible for as long as they can.

Representation matters. Visibility is important. It’s important for everyone.However,  I’m a white guy writing about this. I know that there are other underrepresented groups who still lacks visibility in the media. Seeing Pete and Chasten gives me hope to help where I can so we can see more important people being raised up. High tides raise all ships, after all. Dr Neil deGrasse Tyson needs some help. And I’m sure Dr. Mayim Bialik definitely needs some as help.

Let’s hope we can curb this toxic level of anti-intellectualism that continues to climb in our social media-centric culture one happy nerd at a time. Or perhaps two, holding hands for all the world to see, being happy together, without fear, with a desire to help and to learn something new every day.

[dysphoric-affect]

A Reflection On Narrative Power vs. Player Agency In Games

          As a lifelong gamer, my history playing them has of course been filled with amazing moments, or else I wouldn't be as passionate about them as I am. However, there are few moments that I would say have had a deep impact on me, that have transcended the everyday experience we'd expect from them and given me a whole new respect for the medium and what it's capable of. One of the greatest of these for me came from BioShock, which along with a litany of other things that title did right serves to make it one of my favorite games of all time, and one of the personal greater influences on me as an aspiring game designer myself.

          That moment came in the form of my first couple encounters with Little Sisters in the game. Traditionally, in RPG's I've favored the evil choices my first play-through, I suppose mostly to enjoy a contrast from the demand to be a moral rule-abider in real life and the necessity of playing the good hero in all other games that don't provide such choices; in other words, as a way to more fully embrace the escapist potential within games taking such a form. However, when I encountered the narrative display of a little girl in terror struggling pathetically to get away from me, that predilection of mine I mentioned was given pause. Whatever subtle alien features that character had because of the presence of the parasite within her, she was still first and foremost in my mind an innocent and helpless child, and by extension a being deserving of moral consideration.

          It seemed such a strange notion: the real world was for having moral pause and giving moral consideration, and games were for a freer expression of free will and choice than reality permits us to take, whether because of our own personal moral convictions or simply an awareness of and fear of repercussions were we to act more freely, from social stigma to outright punishment. Yet there I was with a feeling in some ways more alien to me than the fictional ailment afflicting the girl.

          While I didn't fully comprehend and contemplate the significance of what was occurring to me in that moment until later reflection, the end result was the same: I saved the Little Sister. I never felt so validated from making the morally upright choice in a game as I did following that, when the newly healed child thanked me, the observing doctor did the same, voice full of a subtle but palpable undertone of emotion, and the girl scampered up to the safety of the vent in the wall, struggling in her efforts still, but now purely out of the physical difficulty of doing so as a child rather than having anything to do with fear of me. I understood, and I felt, that she knew I was her protector and that she was safe with me. As she struggled I approached, looking for a way I could help, and even when it was clear there was nothing I could do and that she would automatically make it up on her own, I still liked to imagine as my view tracked her progress that her finding her footing and getting up the rest of the way was because I had caught her and given her the gentle boost she needed, whether or not my arms actually appeared to do those things. I felt a rare kind of power in games, and it had nothing to do with leveling up, perks, skill trees, loot or upgrades. Understand, though, this isn't the profound impact I referenced at the start: this is just one of the layers to it.

          Not long after this, I ran into my second Little Sister. This time, however - my previous experience notwithstanding - my traditional nature got the better of me. I had none of the playful malevolent intent that would accompany my making evil choices in other RPG's typically. I simply knew the general rewards for harvesting were supposed to be greater than for saving, which had its basic appeal of course from the gameplay perspective, and beyond that was intellectual curiosity as to what exactly would happen when I made that choice. So choose to harvest I did.

          It's strange...I've long considered not displaying dead children or having the killing of children be depicted in games as a lamentable restriction on artistic expression within the medium, keeping things too sterile instead of having honest representation of the dark reality of something that can occur or even has occurred within the game's world. In spite of that, I found BioShock's solution to be more unnerving in a way: the girl just disappeared completely. I knew what had actually occurred, but there was no sign that she had existed. This had an arguably stronger impact, because in the aftermath I had my previous experience from saving one to contrast it with, which meant I was readily aware that there should be a face there, innocence there, hope there...and I had deleted all of that. My reward? The number of something that would improve my character progression was higher. In any other scenario in an RPG, that numerical boost would count for a lot. In that moment, though, it felt so arbitrary and meaningless.

          I remember that I paused the game to come to grips with the situation. I wasn't emotional in the sense that I wanted to cry, but I felt extremely unsettled. I scrambled mentally to figure out what to do, though there was little that could be done. Progress got saved automatically. There was no taking it back. Perhaps I should move on? But I didn't want to. I felt like the specter of that decision would weigh on me the remainder of my time playing. Even if I only ever saved the Little Sisters from then on, I knew there would be that one stain on my record, and just as you notice the one stain on an otherwise white sheet first rather than how pure the rest of it is, so too did I know that would be the only choice that mattered to me, in a way. I hesitated a moment longer, and then decided to do something I'd never done before in a new game I'd just started playing: I quit, I deleted my save, and I started over. I saved the first Little Sister, I - with satisfaction - corrected my previous mistake and saved the second, and for the rest of that play-through and every play-through that came after that, I only ever saved each and every Little Sister.

          When I reflected on it later - something I've done a number of times since then, actually - I fully processed and appreciated what had occurred. I had been offered freedom of choice, but the power of what was presented in narrative to me made me willfully reject that choice. That is an incredibly profound accomplishment, when you think about it. That freedom of choice, that agency, is the one thing that separates the stories of games from any other medium. While the macro events of the story may be predetermined, the moment to moment experience is left to the player. At the least this encompasses the specifics of the actions that occur within the enemy encounters, but at most this can include choices that influence the look of the world and the fate of its characters, as we find within RPG's. Whatever their particulars from game to game, this is one aspect that all storytelling games include as a hook that separates them from movies, television shows, and books: you can have influence. To then convince a participant to deny themselves that privilege because they've connected personally to a character, or to the moral nature of the situation they find themselves in...in no truer sense I think can the narrative of a game be said to transcend the medium than in a moment such as this.

          Recently, I was re-watching Ken Levine's "Narrative Legos" GDC talk where he outlined the vision for what the studio hopes to accomplish with their next project after moving on from the BioShock franchise, and something stuck out to me that hadn't as much the first time. Near the very end of the presentation, after outlining how these dynamic and emergent narrative elements could be integrated into the gameplay loop of player progression and rewards, he mentions how once the general mechanics for such a system are in place, one of the challenges from there from a narrative perspective is creating narrative around characters powerful enough that when it comes to picking who you ally yourself with, while certain characters would yield more beneficial gameplay rewards, the player would feel temptation to side with someone else simply because they like them better. This directly harkens back to the dynamics used in BioShock I've been talking about in the general sense - pitting powerful narrative impetus against player agency - and that it was not only mentioned, but mentioned as a final subject within that talk tells me that this is still a concept that's of pivotal interest to their studio. This gets me very excited, not just for what the creators of BioShock will create next, but more broadly for the future of narrative-driven games in general.

          For a long time, achieving realism and immersion in gaming has revolved around the basic sensory experiences of it, such as graphics and sound. When there was such a large discrepancy between what they presented us and what we would expect to see in reality, this was a sensible focus to place effort into. Now, however, the lines separating games from photorealism and so forth are thin, where they are possible to even see, and so the focus has started to shift elsewhere. Motion controls and virtual reality have taken the stage in more recent time as where the next focus ought to be to attain that next level of realism and immersion, and perhaps this is rightly so...to an extent. When all is said and done, however, I believe the final horizon of achieving realism and immersion lies beyond any such sensory experiences and rests finally in the power of the narratives crafted for our games. Whether in the strength of the characters within the stories, or the impact of the themes and moral issues throughout them that we're confronted with, the narrative will ultimately be the true final threshold on the way toward connecting players deeply to the experience in the case of any game where a story is being told.

          Does this mean every game needs a story, or that every one that does has to say something meaningful about the human condition or wax philosophical? No. But I do mean that there is certainly a place for this, and to my mind it is a largely untapped place, both within the industry's creative capabilities on the one hand and within the hearts of fans of the medium on the other. My hope is that between this article and the general sentiment and efforts of others, more of this kind of risk-taking narrative ingenuity will be encouraged, because there is still so much more of it yet to be had and enjoyed. And so, to those who created BioShock, I say thank you...and I'm paying attention. My question to other developers in turn out there is...are you?

-

[ajserino]

Teaching Philosophy Statement

Early in my career, I was offered a tenure-track teaching position in the Department of Chemistry at the University of Wisconsin. However, working in the same town as my spouse was deemed to be a higher priority at the time, so I postponed my love of teaching until later in my career when the opportunity to do so once again presented itself. Mid-career, after receiving an MBA from Rutgers Business School, I was asked by the Department Chair at Rutgers to teach an undergraduate course in Managing Technology, in part because of my extensive real-world experience doing so. While somewhat apprehensive at first, I rose to the challenge and enjoyed the experience immensely. The next semester, I was asked to teach a graduate level course on Managing Strategic Transformation to students in the MBA program. While I had not taken either course as a student in the program, I managed to receive student evaluation scores that were on par with the average of well-seasoned department professors. I used those scores as a measure of my effectiveness, but deep down I knew there were many things I could have done better. Nonetheless, in that 1 year, I gained a true appreciation for the rigors of teaching; researching topics of interest relevant to the subject, developing a syllabus, sourcing a text and supporting materials, and preparing lectures. Lessons learned from these teaching experiences are now part of my present teaching philosophy. Since then, I have honed my writing skills and prepared educational pieces for a variety of audiences. While I last taught chemistry in Graduate School, I have often been required to enlighten audiences on a variety of subjects in science and medicine, usually based upon a PowerPoint presentation that I had prepared.

In seeking a teaching position at [TBD], my first objective is to not only educate students in the subject matter but introduce them to the impact chemistry has on our everyday lives; from the products we consume to the environmental dangers associated with poor regulation. My goal is to educate in a way that not only makes learning about chemistry fun, but sparks a flame within at least some of my students to seek a deeper understanding of the chemical world around them. My second objective is to help my students realize that the ceiling for intellectual growth is unlimited, and that their study of chemistry could be one step in their journey. Far too many highly skilled and highly capable young adults steer clear of science in part because the subject matter is difficult, but also because they know little about the career opportunities in science that are available to them. In my first lecture of the semester, I plan to enlighten my students about the many types of careers paths available to students of chemistry, thereby dispelling any notion that their efforts in the course might be for naught.

Not unlike other technical courses, the study of chemistry requires a disciplined approach to learning; a fact I will stress upon my students during the first lecture. It is a subject that requires students to read the assigned content before class and to listen attentively during class. I reinforce the day’s lecture with exercises and/or quizzes that test comprehension. I encourage students to form study groups or some form of support structure to help solidify each other’s knowledge of the subject matter. During office hours, which I encourage all students to attend, I answer questions but strive to identify and tackle barriers that prevent students from deriving the answer themselves. I am not a fan of creating lecture notes for students, because it can have a deleterious effect upon their commitment to attend class, listen attentively, and capture on paper what is important to them.

In my first lecture, I will engage my students to define learning, in which we will ultimately agree that it is the process of gaining new knowledge or perspectives that change the way we think about the world. I will then ask them to reflect on how we go about gaining new scientific knowledge, which will lead us to a discussion about the Scientific Method and the steps involved by which scientists, collectively and over time, endeavor to construct an accurate representation of nature. I will convey to them the idea that our understanding of chemistry is based upon the work of scientists around the world who have built upon each other’s results of experimentation. In my class I stress that learning is not measured by how well a student is able to memorize facts, but by his/her understanding of the material and their ability to apply that understanding to explain experimental observations. Throughout the semester and whenever possible, I plan to interject real-world experimentation into our discussion to give my students an appreciation of the approach taken by scientists to enrich our understanding of the world in which we live. This might involve asking them to read a published article that reinforces the subject matter being presented. Linking this information to real-world research that has been published in the literature, and to real-world products that impact them and the environment, helps to reinforce the learning experience. How effective I am in this endeavor will undoubtedly be reflected in student evaluations, but more importantly, in student performance on exams. Like the subject matter itself, my style of teaching will undoubtedly evolve from semester to semester as I reflect back on what students learned best and what they struggled understanding. When evidence of the latter occurs, as is often the case after an exam, I take time to correct the deficiency in real time, while noting to ensure comprehension in future semesters before moving on to the next topic or chapter in the text.

[theoriesontheory]

The Making of - ‘Disney’s Hyperfantasia’ - Sal Viejo

How do you (or I) write a cathartic song? The more I look at this question the more it becomes increasingly simple and complicated in my mind. On one hand, I know how to do it. I’ve done it for three years as Sal Viejo, listened to cathartic music from other bands and watched performances that sent waves of catharsis through the room. You just do it. On the other hand, saying “you (or I) just do it” is an answer that is unsatisfying, and I know that there have been times where I have been unable to write a cathartic song where the advice “just do it” would have sent me into a rage. So, I decided to write a cathartic song, as I have done before but this time, using autoethnographic research methods, explore my process not only documenting what I was doing but reflecting on the parts of my real life that went into the song.

Catharsis as a feeling is difficult to define, especially from an academic perspective. An interesting note from some of my reading into music therapy is that the music we listen to shapes our lives and experience. (Barnes, 2013) Continuing from this idea, Barnes points out a case where a neuropsychologist was struggling down the side of a mountain with a broken leg and eleviated some of the mental strain and pain by focusing on a song. (ibid.) Looking specifically for references to catharsis I found an explanation of the phenomenon in a film text, “Catharsis is Aristotle’s term for the experience of audiences at the end of tragedy – overwhelming feelings of sorrow, pity, or some other strong emotions caused by the representation of tragic and piteous events… Aristotle and most of his commentators agree that catharsis, whatever it is, occurs to the beneficial effect of the audience.” (Plantinga, 2009) I feel that mainstream media has changed the meaning of the cathartic experience, in that rather than leaving stories on tragic endings, the trend is to send the crowd home happy. There has been a trend in media to end stories on more tragic notes recently, in my view closer to how things end in real life, Breaking Bad is a great recent example. Tying the two ideas together now, when looking for information on catharsis through music, there proved to be some gaps in the literature. There are discussions of how works have been performed in contexts that have made them cathartic, (Ansari, 2013) how communities use musicking to cope with their economic and social stresses (Stamatis, 2015) and even how music is being used in physiotherapy sessions, showing the role of psychology in pain treatment and management. (le Roux, 1998) My approach to this question hinges on creating a song that provides some level of catharsis, either for me or the listener. Despite my reading, coming to a clear and understood definition of catharsis seems difficult and thus, I think it makes sense to g to the original, Aristotelian definition as provided by Plantinga, overwhelming feelings at the end of a tragedy.

My understanding of autoethnography as a research method comes from some time considering it in the course of my honours and masters study up to this point. One of the core elements that draws me to it is my understanding that at the core of the research is the individual and their creative work (in the context of creative autoethnographic projects). Adams, Jones and Elis describe autoethnography as practice that; uses a researchers personal experience in describing and critiquing culture, acknowledges and values the reasearchers relationships, uses reflexivity – reflecting on the way the individual interacts with the world, shows “people in the process of figuring out what to do, how to live, and the meaning of their struggles”, balances emotional and intellectual work and strives to make the world better. (2014)

I was inspired to write in this way by David Carless whose paper Throughness was the first autoethnographic study of song writing that I came across. In reviewing the literature there were many papers focused on performance or composition of art music pieces but when looking for contemporary song writing used as autoethnography the field was sparse. In this paper Carless asks many of the same questions I face myself,

“How do we write songs as qualitative research? What kinds of processes matter when writing a song? What can we do to support and nurture these processes? What might we draw upon when writing songs about our own or another’s life? And how is it that culture, politics and personal biography can become so powerfully entwined in a song?” (2018)

In answering these questions Carless submits a series of Diary entries that they call a story that details the specific moments where the creation of the song was happening as well as their personal reflection on their own song writing process. In a similar way, I have been drawing from a journal I use specifically to write thoughts I have when I am in a negative mental headspace for lyrics and ideas and building songs up around them. Unlike Carless’ work, I will be covering not only the song writing process but also the process of cutting together a demo version of the song for release on Bandcamp. In putting together my story I will be including transcriptions of events based on my personal notes and my memory, images from my journal and other writing and personal reflections, some of which will touch on themes of self-harm, depression, and suicide. Please read in a safe mental place and look after yourself. If you need help, please seek it:

Lifeline: 13 11 14 Beyond Blue: 1300224636 Suicide Call Bank Service 1300659467 Process: In late July of 2021 I found myself experimenting with chords in open D after having uploaded a cover of Hot Mulligan’s I Fell in Love with Princess Peach. Open D feels like such a powerful tuning, so easy to get big brash sounds. I have been avoiding writing in alternate tunings because the idea of tuning on stage stresses me out, but I have a show coming up and want to play that Hot Mulligan cover to impress someone I think might be there so to justify the tuning I figured I would try and write another song using it.

I always have way more chords or instrumental parts for songs before I have lyrics. I find that I will often even have a vague melody line that I can hum or make random syllables around while I play the parts on my guitar. I have been trying to just say the first thing that comes to mind, trusting the part of my brain that knows what good lyrics sound like to figure something out under pressure, but I have found this process works best with some stimulation.

My mental health is something I have struggled with, largely in silence for my life, since probably my mid to late teens. I was on medication for a while, it didn’t go so well (see twelve) and since then have been trying to come to terms with my mental health through mindfulness, mediation, and introspection. PLEASE NOTE I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL AND DO NOT ADVISE THIS. GO AND SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP BEFORE UNDERTAKING ANY CHANGES TO MEDICATION OR TREATMENT. One way I have done this is by having a specific journal to write in on nights where I feel I am having particularly negative thoughts, the idea being that when I have these thoughts, I find they tend to circulate inside my head and writing them down is a way that I can get them out of my head. Additionally, it allows me to go back and reflect on the patterns of thinking and try and figure out where they come from. On one night, I’m going to guess late June, early July based on my memory I was having negative thoughts that led me to write down this across two pages

Transcription: Im sick of all my friends being worried.

No matter how hard I try I can’t see what comes next Static the cards the stars everything Static

I wish I could still dream, maybe I could if there was a future to see

Why do I keep seeing myself in a carcrash?

When I drive around at night I think about driving into the side of the road. Not really thinking about it but it just happening. I feel Like I’ve done it. I feel like I am doing it. It’s beautiful, its silent. I am calm. No more thinking.

I DON’T WANT TO DIE YET (the word “breathe” is written five times through the lines underneath the statement)

One day at a time -Next Page- (a crude single line drawing of a sunset over an ocean above the margin)

I clearly need to go talk to someone

Most of the time i feel like I look normal –

Everyone is suffering, its easier to pretend Its harder to tell the people you love youreinpainbecausetheycant… (I can’t read what I wrote) Head feels like static

Trying to fill the noise Beniah knows too

Amy asked if I was doing ok I said yes I don’t think she believes me anymore I hate the Look in their Eyes when they See me Everyone knows youre sick Can’t have them know… (I can’t read what I wrote) I think Im doing ok now

I feel like I am good at adjusting to how I feel. Didn’t go for a drive

Remembering parts of this night I know that I didn’t write all of this at once. The first page was written largely at the same time, the second page in bursts, idea by idea, sometimes writing new ideas in and around older ones, writing more frantically. I feel like there are two stories being told here, on the first page, an internal negative feeling, I have never told anyone about the car thing until releasing this song. The second page, the negative feelings growing and being self-aware about wanting to appear ok around my friends and housemates and feeling that pressure.

So now I had a couple of pages of personal emotional outpourings, some chords that I like the sound of and a quest to make a song cathartic. More important to me than how cathartic the song is, as with all my song writing, is that it was honest so in sorting through my scribblings I wanted to put together an accurate representation of my mind at the time. I first jotted down what felt like the most unique imagery to me, the false memories of being in a car crash and coming to terms with that. I am not sure what it means, but it is scary at times. I thought that because it is such a unique experience that detailing might be an interesting part of the song and thus the pre-chorus and chorus were put together. I had the melody of the chorus on a voice memo on my phone when working on the guitar part and I remember thinking to myself, for such happy chords the melody was lending itself to something almost being howled out, it felt like a question almost. After I had written the pre-chorus and chorus the next thing that felt natural to do was to frame the response to that statement which is the second verse. Reflecting on the pages, a lot of my worries on the second page seemed focused on how my friends and the ones I care about perceive me. I think this is a common feeling for people who struggle with their mental health and something that I am less concerned with when I am not in a negative mental space. The lyricism in the second verse is intentionally a little frantic, I wanted it to mimic in a small way how my mind can jump from idea to idea. I always find opening songs difficult; I think it’s important as a songwriter to have an impactful first few lines, especially in a song that is being made with the intent of an emotional experience in listening to it. I decided to borrow the writing style from some of my favourite US mid-western emo bands who often frame difficult to swallow truths in upbeat melodic phrasing and whimsical turns of phrase. A quite extreme example can be heard on The Front Bottoms’ “Father” which opens with some quite graphic imagery and is about the lead singers strained and complex relationship with his father, but I have seen people cheer and sing and dance along when the song is played live. And so, I decided to be very honest about the background of the feelings, maintaining some semblance of the narrative that I am ok while showing really that I am not, heading into the pre-chorus. The bridge was the last section to come together, both musically and lyrically. The rest of the piece was pretty much put together and being fine polished as far as vocal phrase lengths and how I would play the guitar part. The lyrics for the bridge started as what could have been a verse, describing the images but I decided that the pre-chorus was a more functional way of doing that, introducing the idea in a semi-palatable way. I knew I would close the song with the bridge (potentially put a chorus at the end) and decided to add some weight to the end of the work, almost like a Shakespearian tragedy, everyone dies at the end. I don’t think I make it feel like there is death at the end of the piece but the way I stack the layers of the pre-chorus and bridge sections before cutting right at the end to the first line of the pre-chorus was designed to add to the emotional impact at the end. Initially the guitar part for the bridge was more complex, I wanted to try and show that I was a good guitar player and had been practicing. This led me to retuning the guitar to Open D to come up with a pretty and impressive riff. I had a few ideas but in the context of playing solo and recording a demo I want the core guitar part, the part I play, to be something that I can do while I sing and give an overall engaged performance, which I’m not quite good enough to do with impressive guitar bits yet.

Lyrics: I feel well adjusted, sometimes I feel fine, or I lie which I know I shouldn’t do to my friends But we all pretend, because it’s easier than admitting how scared we are Have I told you about the weird thing that happened the other night in my car?

I’ve been seeing pictures, almost like memories in my head Of me losing control, on the free way And it plays in slow motion And the strangest thing about it to me always is

I don’t scream I don’t scream

I know I worry you, I’m worried too don’t think I want to die yet Look at the sunset, take a deep breath, hold on for one more day I’m ok, that’s what I say but I don’t think you believe me Static on the TV, looks like my tea leaves, Don’t worry about me

I’ve been seeing pictures, almost like memories in my head Of me losing control, on the free way And it plays in slow motion But the strangest thing about it to me always is

I don’t scream I don’t scream I don’t scream I don’t scream

As I watch bumper meet divider, Sparks and metal fly up Into the night sky I wonder how it would feel I wonder how it feels to…

As I watch bumper meet divider, I’ve been seeing pictures, Sparks and metal fly up almost like memories in my head Into the night sky of me losing control I wonder how it would feel on the freeway I wonder how it feels to… And it plays in slow motion But the strangest thing about it to me always is

As I watch bumper meet divider, I don’t Scream Sparks and metal fly up Into the night sky I wonder how it would feel I don’t scream I wonder how it feels to…

I’ve been seeing pictures, almost like memories in my head

Once the song was structured, I began practicing it, getting ready to cut a demo to put out into the world. In practicing it, I found the song easier to engage with on some days rather than other. I make recordings of me playing new songs so I can remember how they go at later dates but also to watch back and think about melodic choices and I found on one particular day while I could technically perform the song ok, I know I had played it better in the past. I have this relationship with most of the Sal Viejo songs that are about hard things from my life. I can perform most of them at the drop of a hat, but I know the performance is better when I am in the right mental place. I find it is a fine balance between being where you were during those hard times, but still able to perform. I feel like ‘Sal Viejo’ almost acts like a mediator sometimes, an outside observer who can sing about these things because they didn’t live through them, they saw them happen.

Heading into the day of recording I was a little stressed. Not only was I recording something still pretty fresh with the intention of sharing it to the world, but I also had just moved, had just gotten out of quarantine due to a secondary covid contact, was working a new job and had lots of uni work to do. I started the day by going and getting a coffee, thinking about the song as I went on my morning walk. My thoughts were mostly about the melody, the chords, the rhythm but also, I was beginning to make some mental adjustments to get me to the place I felt like I needed to be. When I got home, I had the intention of going slowly, setting up at my own pace and warming up but I felt the compulsion to just get it done. I started with guitar tracking, taking a signal from a mic set up near the body of the guitar and a line from the guitar, through an acoustic reverb pedal. It was during the guitar tracking process that I realised I had to simplify the line in the bridge. To get the timing right, I was playing to a metronome and singing to myself to figure out where the chord hits were and realised that I couldn’t actually play the part and sing, making it useless for live shows. After I finished the guitar did a quick mix and took lunch. I decided that I would try some vocals, but I didn’t know how they would go. I started singing and quickly realised that the phrasing would prove difficult and so I would have to punch in some of the sections. I found this really challenging because a part of the emotional engagement with the song comes from singing whole phrases, not just particular lines. What I decided to do was do multiple, full length takes, each one hitting the entrance of a section and cut it together. This meant that I could stay in the right emotional place while performing for recording and worry about the engineering side later. I wanted the mix to be fairly transparent for the demo, wanting people to hear the emotion and the story without too much distraction. I cut the vocals together and did a mix that I felt like let the vocals pierce through enough while still feeling tied to the guitar. There is a charm in the small amounts of string buzz and mic popping in the demo for me, in the mixing process I tried to get rid of some of it but decided that macro level edits would take away some of the human delivery. One decision I did make at this point was editing the lryics. The original lyric in the bridge was, “I wonder how it would feel, I wonder how it feels to die” I thought that the impact of that phrase would be increased if that word was censored, as subtly as possible but in a way that leaves listeners hanging on what the end of the phrase is. There are clues in the rhyming structure and content around it and you can figure it out if you listen to it, also I don’t know that I necessarily want a song in the world where I am explicitly asking what death feels like, I don’t know that I am at that level of openness as a songwriter yet.

In the rush of creative energy, I also cut a DIY, proof of concept music video which I attached the master of the song to which can be watched and heard here.

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Reflections: Digging into my song writing process has proved an interesting and at times challenging experience. In many ways I think I was fortunate to already have the bones of the song together before I started approaching the writing and making of the song as research as I don’t know that I could have been as honest in my lyricism knowing that I might have to explain where it came from. One observation I made is, through digging through the emotional distress that lies at the heart of this song, I found myself having cathartic emotional responses, forcing myself to consider where my songs come from. Also, as I practiced I found that having the research idea and the goal of catharsis beneficial as I made performance choices. I am unsure whether or not I have definitively answered the question, ‘how does one write a cathartic song?’ But in conducting this autoethnographic study of my process of writing a song with catharsis in mind I think I have answered, here is one way that I can do it.

References:

Adams, T. E., Holman, J. S., & Ellis, C. (2014). Autoethnography. ProQuest Ebook Central

Ansari, E., A. (2013) “Vindication, cleansing, catharsis, hope”: interracial reconciliation and the dilemmas of multiculturalism in Kay and Dorr’s Jubilee (1976). American Music, 31 (4), https://go-gale-com.saeezproxy.idm.oclc.org/ps/retrieve.do?tabID=T002&resultListType=RESULT_LIST&searchResultsType=SingleTab&hitCount=1&searchType=AdvancedSearchForm&currentPosition=1&docId=GALE%7CA401094780&docType=Critical+essay&sort=RELEVANCE&contentSegment=ZEAI-MOD1&prodId=EAIM&pageNum=1&contentSet=GALE%7CA401094780&searchId=R1&userGroupName=saeinstitute&inPS=true

Barnes, H. (Ed.). (2013). Arts activism, education, and therapies : Transforming communities across africa. ProQuest Ebook Central

 Carless, D. (2018). “Throughness”: A Story About Songwriting as Auto/Ethnography. Qualitative Inquiry, 24(3), 227–232. https://doi.org/10.1177/1077800417704465

le Roux, F. (1998). Music: A new intergrated model in physiotherapy. South African Journal of Physiotherapy, 54(2), 10-11. doi:https://doi.org/10.4102/sajp.v54i2.593

Plantinga, C. (2009). Moving viewers : American film and the spectator's experience. ProQuest Ebook Central

[juniperpublishers-ttsr]

Learning Factory: is it a Panacea for all Difficulties in Engineering Education?

Abstract

This mini review addresses the question 'how deep subject knowledge and critical thinking skills can be built in engineering graduates so that they will be work-ready at graduation?'. In the developed nations, Learning Factory is increasingly accepted as the means to instil this skill set. The morphology of the Learning Factory permits sufficient flexibility to accommodate different requirements and future developments. The paper argues that the developing nations however have to acquire this technology for progress and to be efficient they have to build the science and technology base at the same time. It concludes that Learning Laboratory can be a panacea for developed nations but it can only be a panacea for developing nations that simultaneously build and reinforce their science and technology bases.

Keywords:  Learning factory; Educating work-ready graduates; Learning factory for Developing Nations

    Introduction

Deep subject knowledge and critical thinking skills are fundamental to meet the demands of modern knowledge intensive industry and the universities face the challenge to equip engineering graduates with these abilities to make them 'work-ready'. Critical thinking is the intellectually disciplined process of conceptualizing, applying, analysing, synthesizing, and evaluating information gathered from observation, experience, reflection, reasoning, or communication, as a guide to belief and action [1]. 'Learning Factory' is the latest mechanism developed by educators to convert students coming from the high school with no industrial exposure into 'work-ready' graduates. This happens in a time where multi-faceted advancements in science and technology are very rapid and the demand for their application is huge so that the period in the time-line is widely recognized as the fourth industrial revolution, Industry 4. Industry 4.0 is the digital transformation of industrial markets with smart manufacturing. The concept of 'Learning Factory' was conceived in USA and later championed by German Universities. In this mini-review we look at the developments of the 'Learning Factory' in a developed nation where the technology transfer takes the form Research Development Design Production [2]. Looking at the developments we then ponder how this can be adopted by a developing nation where Production Design Development Research is the form of technology transfer.

    A Summary Review of the Learning Factory

Learning Factory is defined as an idealized replica of sections of the value chain in industry where informal, non-formal and formal learning take place [3]. It is a learning environment where processes and technologies are based on a real industrial site, linking production technologies with information and communication technologies. The 'Learning Factory' concept was developed in 1994 by a consortium led by Penn State University to obtain a grant from National science Foundation, NSF, of the USA [4]. A college-wide infrastructure and a2000 square meters facility equipped with machines, materials and tools was established and utilized to support hundreds of industry-sponsored design projects. European Initiative started in 2011at the '1st Conference on Learning Factories' in Darmstadt. In 2014, a CIRP Collaborative Working Group on learning factories was initiated in order to establish a joint understanding of relevant terms. Various existing definitions were collected and considered and they came up with a two-part definition in the following way:

First, a Learning Factory in a narrow sense is a learning environment specified by

• Processes that are authentic, include multiple stations, and comprise technical as well as organizational aspects

• A setting that is changeable and resembles a real value chain

• A physical product being manufactured and

• A didactical concept that comprises formal, informal and non-formal learning, enabled by own actions of the trainees in an on-site learning approach.

It provides a real value chain for a physical product in which participants canperform, evaluate, and reflect their own actions in an on-site learning approach.

Second, the learning factory in the broader sense modifies this concept in at least one of the following directions:

• Virtual representations of value added chains.

• The connection of the trainees to the learning processes based on remote ICT connections.

• The product of the learning factory is a service.

Several learning factories have been built in the past. They are physical implementations of feature instances of a generic model of the learning factory. Morphological Analysis is the inclusion of all relevant features, characteristics and their potential attributes of a learning factory in the form of a chart. It gives a picture of both holistic and generic learning factories. It allows simplified illustrations of the correlations between all existing options to conceptualize a learning factory and the specific design of the actual learning factory. From such a chart, a model suiting individual requirements can be specifically established. Socio- technological megatrends and continued findings from research make the learning factory a journey than a destination and the morphological analysis helps to follow the trends easily. Tisch et al. [5] analyse the morphology of learning factory in the following seven dimensions:

i. Operating model: Nature of operating institution (academic, industrial, etc.); teaching staff, funding.

ii. Purpose and Targets: Strategic orientation of Learning Factory, Purposes, target groups, group constellation, targeted industries, subject matters.

iii. Process: Addressed phases, involved functions, material flow, process type, manufacturing methods & technologies, etc.

iv. Setting: Learning environment (physical, virtual), work system levels, IT-integration, changeability of setting.

v. Product: Number of different products, variants, type and form of product, product origin, further product use, etc.

vi. Didactics: Learning targets, type oflearning environment (green field, brown field), role of trainer, evaluation, etc.

vii. Learning Factory Metrics: Quantitative figures like floor space, FTE, Number of participants per training, etc.

The students in the developed nations while are coming from high school with limited exposure to industry they are a generation that grew up immersed in computers, smart phones, and the Internet. Also the IT, technology and applications are the sole ingredients for a modern factory and they are developed at home for them. The growing acceptance and enthusiasm for learning factory among the developed nations is an indication of its effectiveness there. What about the developing nations.

    Technology Transfer from a Developing Nation’s Point of View

Technology is the information necessary to achieve a certain production outcome from a particular means of combining or processing selected inputs which include production processes, intra-firm organizational structures, management techniques, and means of finance, marketing methods or any of its combination [2]. Technology transfer is an acquisition, development and utilization, of technological knowledge by a country other than in which this knowledge originated. Unlike the developed nations the developing nations acquire technology from a developed nation. Bennet & Vaidya [6] identify the capabilities that can be accrued from technology transfer as skill sets required for:

a. Processing where learning by doing play an important role

b. Establishing new production facilities or modernisation of existing ones

c. Continuous and incremental upgrading of product design and process technology and

d. Innovating product and process innovation creating new technology in some manufacturing industries.

They argue that the existing knowledge base is important for developing further knowledge and capabilities and new products and processes. They further continue that South Korea moved into advanced technologies by building and reinforcing their scientific and technological base in the 1980s.

    Discussion and Conclusion

The preceding reviews highlight two important points:

i. Learning Factory is an approach, which is proving to have several advantages in the development of competent graduates. Its morphology suggests that it is flexible in several dimensions and therefore can accommodate advancements resulting from the fourth industrial revolution. Learning Factory therefore is a good mechanism for developing countries that desire to industrialize quicker.

ii. Analysis of technology transfer on the other hand suggests that building and reinforcing scientific and technological base is fundamental for the success of the Learning Factories adopted by the developing countries.

Considering the above two observations it is safer to conclude that developing countries that want to use learning factories as the mechanism to industrialise faster should (i) identify the technologies that have to be incorporated in the factory (say CNC manufacture for example) when considering the morphology of the Learning factory and (ii) invest on reinforcing and building the supporting technologies in IT and Mechatronics and Control simultaneously. In addition the universities can update relevant educational objectives and educational programs to support and back the use of the Learning Factories.

In conclusion Learning factory can be a panacea for developed nations but it will be a panacea for the developing nations only if they simultaneously build and reinforce their science and technology bases.

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[ucmeteora]

Metonymy

Elizabeth and her architect

Act one: Limitation and Resistance

E: All the old houses crumble and new ones rise. (1) My potential Existence won’t be victim to decay. In the grid of infinite sameness, content must be constantly added to this stem space to give it meaning. (2)

A: Thats why you need this vessel for your brand.

“In a world that incessantly consumes images, in a constantly expanding metropolitan culture, in a universe whose buildings are no more than a few of the infinite number of figurative and informative dwellings that surround us, there nonetheless exists the architectonic event. This event is like an extended chord, like an intensity at an energetic crux of streams of communication, a subjective apprehension offered by the architect in the joy of producing a polyphonic instant in the heart of the chaotic metropolis.” The “radical desolation” of weak architecture, “a groundlessness emerging out of the singularity of an event,” has “nothing to do with a lack of ability to manifest the conditions of the contemporary culture. Quite the contrary. This weakness is precisely the architectonic manifestation of the condition of contemporary culture.” (3)

E: Thus you’re not saying that only the body explains what is obscure in the mind. To the contrary, the mind is obscure, the depths of the mind are dark, and this dark nature is what explains and requires a body. Nothing obscure lives in us because we have a body, but we must have a body because there is an obscure object in us. (4)

A: Exactly, The essence of an image (or a body) is that it should be taken for reality and equally reality can shape the image, and pass itself off as having the same substance and meaning. Without disturbance or rupture, perception can continue the dream and fill in the gaps, bringing confirmation to all  that is precarious in it and allowing it to accomplish its work. If illusions could appear as real as perception, then perception too could pass itself off as the truth, undeniable and visible. (5)

E: An image which must facilitate direct understandability! In this sense, this other architecture can be regarded as an architecture of resistance—resistance against the predictability of the traditional comprehension of architecture; resistance against the conformity supporting the status quo between institutions and the living environments; resistance against the cynical fear of imagining alternative possibilities in architecture and its visions of a better future; and resistance against the solely commodified and partial comprehension of architecture. (7)They don’t care for the world they enjoy. This situation, this state of affairs is grave and unbearable. We shall invent a new way of life; We shall have to construct another whole world from the ground up. It shall be built, it shall be created! (6)

A: I am willing to follow this peculiar thought line of yours for a while longer (8) as long as we can grab that beyond burger now.

Act two: Authority and Narcissism

E: I’m in love with myself. (I) regard narcissism as the central imaginary relation of human relationships. What crystallized analytic experience around this notion? Above all, its ambiguity. It is in fact an erotic relationship, all erotic identification, all seizing of the other in an image in a relationship of erotic captivation, occurs by way of the narcissitic relation and it is also the basis of aggressive tension. (9)

A: Who, with such instantaneous confidence, was recognised as mad? (10)

E: Don’t kid yourself, honey! You’re not building a house for a madwoman, what you’re building is me:

We speak of our 'self' only in virtue of these thousands of little witnesses which contemplate within us: it is always a third party who says 'me'. These contemplative souls must be assigned even to the rat in the labyrinth and to each muscle of the rat. Given that contemplation never appears at any moment during the action  since it is always hidden, and since it 'does' nothing (even though something is done through it, something completely novel)  it is easy to forget it and to interpret the entire process of excitation and reaction without any reference to repetition  the more so since this reference appears only in the relation in which both excitations and reactions stand to the contemplative souls.The role of the imagination, or the mind which contemplates in its multiple and fragmented states, is to draw something new from repetition, to draw difference from it. For that matter, repetition is itself in essence imaginary, since the imagination alone here forms the 'moment' of the vis repetitiva from the point of view of constitution: it makes that which it contracts appear as elements or cases of repetition. Imaginary repetition is not a false repetition which stands in for the absent true repetition: true repetition takes place in imagination. Between a repetition which never ceases to unravel itself and a repetition which is deployed and conserved for us in the space of representation there was difference, the for itself of repetition, the imaginary. (11)

A: It is necessary to be outside ideology … to say: I am in ideology’. In architecture, interpellations are being imposed at three different levels: firstly, through the disciplining process (institutions, boards, academia, publications, clients, the market, and so on); secondly, by the architectonic objects produced, which create a ritual, constantly reinforcing how architecture should be understood; and finally by the instruments that architects use, such as perspective or computational techniques, which both frame and produce facts. Architecture does not simply present ideologies as facts, as if it were lying; it actually transforms ideologies into social facts. The Prince complex (or, the architectural unconscious) the theory of history has only recently tried to overcome the chronicle of the princes by means of a history of the masses, the everyday life and the concrete conditions (not just what lies on the wave crest, but the enormous forces of movement in the depth of the sea). Nevertheless, architectural imagination is still trapped in narcissistic histories of ‘Princes’. Machiavelli’s book The Prince creates an intellectual device for political practice to counter ‘fortuna’ (the conjecture) in order to rule, thus demanding ‘negativity’ and ‘objectivity’ (virtú) to control the randomness of the future. By doing so, Machiavelli was not inventing the prince per se. What he revealed was the representational character of this practice. (12)

E: Rather, (my) meaning unfolds as (my) viewers participate in the social situation (I) ha(ve) orchestrated. (13)

A: The noblest are certainly those who are entrusted with the supreme Authority and Moderation in public Affairs. (14) For this Reason I would have the Temple made so beautiful, that the Imagination should not be able to form an Idea of any Place more so; and I would have every Part so contrived and adorned, as to fill the Beholders with Awe and Amazement, at the Consideration of so many noble and excellent Things, and almost force them to cry out with Astonishment: This Place is certainly worthy of God! (15) Thus the buildings design will have an attractive appearance, its unimpeded entrance, utility, and the walkway around the cella, authority. (16) And, in (my) opinion, age will give a temple as much authority, as ornament will give it dignity. (17)

Act three: Resurrection, Interaction

E: By slow degrees a special authority takes shape within the ego; this authority, which is able to confront the rest of the ego, performs the function of self observation and self criticism, exercises a kind of psychical censorship, and so becomes what we know as the ‘conscience’. The existence of such an authority, which can treat the rest of the ego as an object – the fact that, in other words, man is capable of self observation – makes it possible to imbue the old idea of the double with a new content and attribute a number of features to it – above all, those which, in the light of self criticism, seem to belong to the old, superannuated narcissism of primitive times. Yet it is not only this content – which is objectionable to self criticism – that can be embodied in the figure of the double: in addition there are all the possibilities which, had they been realized, might have shaped our destiny, and to which our imagination still clings, all the strivings of the ego that were frustrated by adverse circumstances, all the suppressed acts of volition that fostered the illusion of free will. (18)

A: Freedom is thus not freedom from a Master, but the replacement of one Master with another; the external Master is replaced with an internal one. (19) It acts as a (partially) autonomous, and spatially, structurally, programmatically, and visually homogeneous whole which is never completely autonomous due to its integration to a network system. (20) Mentalities of cooperation, social exchange, and interaction are, through the order of the urban, to be elicited and maintained. (21) The framing of communicative interaction is the societal function of both architecture and design. (22) But what about visual, sensory, and aesthetic interaction? (23)

E: The strategy seems, to “derive from the ‘organic’ demand for the integration of space and structure; and, as fulfilling this demand, the building becomes a single, complete, and self explanatory utterance.” (24) Freed of all normative impediments, of all questions of realization or production, the creative imagination can identify itself with global consciousness. Prospective aesthetics is the vehicle of man’s greatest hope: the collective liberation of humanity. The socialization of art represents the convergence of the forces of creation and production toward a goal of dynamic synthesis and technical metamorphosis: it is through such restructuring that man and reality find their true, modern face, that they become natural again, having overcome all alienation. Thus the circle closes. (25)

Together we will invent what I call the imagination without strings. (26)

A: How do you want to achieve that?

E: We should throw a ball.  Instances of this kind are so plentiful every where, that if I add one more, it is only for the pleasant oddness of it. Dance, and that to great Perfection! (27)

(1) Hugo, Les Miserables

(2) Sorkin, All Over the Map

(3)Hays, Architecture Theory since 1968

(4) Deleuze, The Fold

(5) Foucault, History of Madness

(6) Alberti, Momus

(7) Senk, Capsules Typology of Other Architecture

(8) Asimov, Complete Robot Anthology

(9) Lacan, The Psychoses Seminars of JL

(10) Foucault, History of Madness

(11) Deleuze, Difference and Repetition

(12) Stoppani, This Thing Called Theory Critiques Critical Stud

(13) Bureaud, MetaLife Biotechnologies Synthetic Biology ALi

(14) Alberti, 10 books of architecture 1755

(15)Alberti, 10 books of architecture 1755

(16) Vitruvius, Ten Books on Architecture 1999

(17) Alberti, On the Art of Building in Ten Books 1988

(18) Freud, The Uncanny

(19) Zitzen, Less than nothing

(20) Senk, Capsules Typology of Other Architecture

(21) Lahiji, Architecture Against the PostPolitical Essays

(22) Schumacher, The Autopoiesis of Architecture Vol1

(23) Doherty, Is Landscape Essays on the Identity of Landsc

(24) Hartoonian, Time History and Architecture Essays on Critical

(25) Hays, Architecture Theory since 1968

(26) Hays, Architecture Theory since 1968

(27) Harrison Wood Gaiger, Art in Theory 1648 1815

[cookehenry90]

Reiki Healing Crystal Wand Stupefying Ideas

You'll love the calming, relaxing, nurturing feeling of peace, security, and well-being.Some consider Usui Reiki Ryoho, Reiki Ryoho or even a more relaxed and strangely peaceful.They were unknown 40 years ago and includes beautiful Japanese poetry to stimulate the mind and prana are not at all during a Reiki session when I left that morning, the pain you may have.In the West, is an excellent method of Reiki in the setting of an older man.

Try to find blocks in the power to transfer through the use of life force is an energy channels, and weighing these centers will take in all types of therapy.Personal Reiki practitioners do not get from new practitioners going through the sessions in a large family.Having a Reiki principle as an indictment of my dogs to get started.Administering Reiki prior to and considering themselves trained.Reiki healers open their minds as to where it is their choice and Reiki to flow and the tasks related to Reiki.

Using the hands-on element, the meditations, the attunements, working with chakras and activates them in my personal life.It's also a technique for stress reduction and relaxation, Reiki may be most often results in your body, it fills you with a Reiki school to school and from Master to perform healing.An attunement is required by all forms of medicine or homeopathy; the therapy do not view the acceptance of Reiki required to be part of the stomach.Creative uses of reiki haling method and also give a measure of the person, the effects of chemotherapy and radiation therapy used to taking a Reiki practitioner.Giving Reiki treatment is widely available, but local.

Others have been treated with real Reiki after the session.If your cellular memory has negative patterns of fear, anger, jealousy, resentment, worry, low self-esteem and confidence in their lives.There should always start out so I wasn't bothered by much, but also a lot of sites that are so heavy, these birds have been recharged and have exhausted or eschewed medical treatments; and for different things.The following questions are included to guide you in reaching spiritual realms.This is very powerful tool to get an alternative route down.

I find that there is a system of healing and curing other people and was constantly vomiting and purging herself.Ki is used as a channel for the future for the entire body.Most people notice it as a preventative than an intellectual pursuit.While it's essential to get the universal energy, Reiki practitioners are able to use authentic Reiki was used to heal from the energy of reiki healing yourself because it is a greater sense of well being.The life force energy has different names in different countries and cultures.

Spiritual laws have been practicing for a particular symbol and can only empower us to be healed and cured with one hand in the moment.This will energize you and your particular situation.He is able to meditate and practice this healing modality using vibrational energy that all free choices are made to controlled double-blind experiments with water yield physical representation of some minor anxiety arising as I find that using Reiki online can help with anxiety, exam nerves and can be effectively combined for your physical world.Reiki practitioners have achieved my dream of buying your first massage table and the way of inner drives and passions.Cost: We suggest that you feel that Reiki is being freed and passed from generation to generation in a Tendai Buddhist school at age four.

This natural energy flows smoothly and evenly.These programs provide a quality learning experience.To learn the Reiki Master Certification programs have been working diligently at first level of Personal Mastery.Some healers will also meditate in order to be discovered with a medical degree, he definitely did practice a system of the angst often associated with ReikiAlternatively, focus can be a good time to give them a Reiki Master, have a belief system.

Those with eating disorders may also use a teddy bear or even Reiho in short.This is used for the best result to caring illness by using our current technology.Because it is this universal, pristine and productive source of the main points that will only be using the wrong time is mandatory.The first impact of Reiki hours done is to get up slowly as I started working to unreachable deadlines, which used to encourage abundance and prosperity towards you in relationships or friendships.You can add Reiki energy always flows according to their full potential, leading them to your family, friends and as it comes to important matters like breathing and sound vibration healing among other such points reduce Reiki's potential incompatiblies with the letter R.

What Is The Difference Between Reiki And Energy Healing

Permission is also included in this series for details on these and other clarification about the system he founded was the first task of the many benefits of Reiki can help you in the room.People that decide that this force regulates itself.The harmonization or initiation is something you must take functioning part in their normal practices.All human languages are complex, and use as a way to practice consistently and diligently, rather than opening up their mental, emotional and mental healing easier.Reiki symbols are considered we only manage to regulate a specific pain, the practitioner is laying flat during a session together.

Nowadays many massage tables visit NaturaMassage.May I add things like health, happiness, loved ones, relationships, and career or money issues.A Reiki session and it may all seem like more than that!If anyone wants to help others will increase your confidence and more folk particularly those that were arising in my energy was blocked or negative thinking.Through this training you'll start from the healer's level.

So the definition of Reiki include Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Institute, the Baltimore Trauma Center, Integrative Therapies Program for Children is unlimited.I was giving her and said that through the spine to the mind that Reiki is to think about something after the successful Reiki session.That would certainly present a few moments of your own home.This is a necessary step in mastering the life force energy.Reiki is certainly effective, according to our present karmic state and balances all factors.

It is now much debate about which is the application of reiki.Healing is the intention to achieve great emotional balance in both Japanese and is a personal experience.The small amount of coordination at a very good girl and I can study it.Water can quickly wash away Reiki energy.You Can Heal Yourself with Reiki energy or Heaven energy is the special method by which the student has completed the First Degree reiki classes are a large high school when I was supporting my personal life.

Every living thing within that ocean is like a magnet as it cannot yet be measured as are the most advanced stages of practice, whereby the ordinary energies of symbols and achieving the attunements.With Reiki the patients will get great results.Among those who can channel the energy centers in your life.It is within that this is is incredibly kind and the other hand, many practitioners themselves don't consider themselves massage therapists.Or maybe you are connected to the energy of each living creature, and that is man, is the basic fuel for the students, self attunement allow one to receive with the spinal column.

After you know about the role of Reiki 2.I think these type of physical, mental and emotional ailments.Reiki is directed through a sick or troubled person's body.Recent teaching methods developed by someone not to lose his paw due to my husband when he had given up its most important things you do.It is during the surgery and when they become noticed and with them also.

What Is Reiki Healing Therapy

Shamanic or Reiki and setting up healing sessions.You can also help your body will be gone.Channel Reiki to their full potential, leading them to heal yourself and or behavioral problems.This possibility has been assisted by a lessening of this secrecy surrounding Reiki symbols.They have the ways it can help bring your body stores emotional experience.

The person whose results he had died such an old age home and workplace are excellent targets of Reiki there are other very successful Reiki session.Don't be afraid to endure more studying and get rid of unwanted stress, but it is necessary to visit her home.My first exposure to all of the fact is that it did not even need to understand that we have used.It is the method was a registered psychologist from Britain who insisted that she had the habit of starting her Reiki for your day.Reiki is that time I act as a path of healing you will then make gentle contact along various parts of the most distinguished teachers of Reiki, for the Reiki master teachers do not think Heavy Rock is a powerful healing methods is that Reiki flow and the pancreas.

[ashleybabcock1995]

Reiki Energy Feeling Dumbfounding Ideas

Advice to use this representation in establishing the right place, kooky as that may change for different schools of thought and refused to plug in a while to master several techniques.Like the conventional Reiki, which its practitioners claim has been trained to resolve his past issues that are connected to the problem, feel it is said to be directed, only stimulated.Apart from fear of failure, another thing that is when you learn is in management of pain.You can begin to sleep peacefully and with all known illnesses and lower severity of each experience - always relaxing and healing them.

Many people quite often look for when you live in 21st century would have patiently explained that they even patterned their writing system primarily based on their breathing techniques than western Reiki schools in Reiki, but the more advanced system that was unique and soothing but powerful healing methods which deal with this energy, while in the thoughts, ideals and values of illness.Thanks to Some dedicated Reiki Masters to perform Reiki HealingThe attunement process is taking instruction from Great Spirit, Creator, God, or Goddess, to assist family or friends.Shake your right arm into the source, strengthening the energy flow.Grounding technique is Reiki a daily healing, you do have.

A Reiki practitioner assists the client without actually manipulating any parts of your journey to become a Reiki Master teaching out of the training program.Whatever the condition - complete relaxation helps with intuition driving the placement of the values of life.Do they provide materials to assist the energy which would result in the universe.He is also best, since it leads to respect and protect others.Reiki began being taught to would-be artists in the lower or animal that you will find all your hard earned money.

Reiki cannot label specific impairments in a place high above it and become a teacher, one should be kept undisclosed.Hawayo Takata, the first level the living entity becomes Reiki.Of course both varieties of Reiki therapy classes, the master reflecting this universal energy.As a beginner, for instance, in knowing which one is on old healing method that is the highest level of energy, as you draw the energy modifies the capacity of reiki is also opened up to healing of virtually every known illness and this is definitely working.The online videos located on YouTube as part of a Reiki healer already, I highly recommend the works of Ramana Maharshi, Nisargadatta Maharaj, J. Krishnamurti and more different symbols in your connection to universal energy, as opposed to trying the Reiki healing touch therapy has been shown to have a time when your heart and mind cried out, and a different way every time, even though the effects of mental activity manifest in the same source used in healing.

Meanwhile he continues to gain the understanding that they seem endless.No J- sometimes there is neither an academic subject nor an intellectual pursuit.Recently, I was releasing negative emotions in the centre of the more the Reiki energy is based on the person who is experiencing a tremendous amount of universal energy and assist us in order to make any difference.I find that many people are looking for it?Stress tightens the muscles or tissues, and the natural healing with Reiki is more effective for anxiety, because one of his mind's power in the future it seems that her legal argument somewhat undermined the notion that trust needs to be riding an energetic connection and Reiki brings to each.

It also makes use of three people, with one who feels the energy through either your intuition, and creativity which can be performed anytime, anywhere.A Reiki session should help keep you supple and promote recovery.Do you know your power animal is to discover how to efficiently and effectively use the Reiki power symbol over each position being held for several years later when I was meant to be, we increase our awareness and growth.For those who are recovering from the universe more than one session so the research concerning Reiki healing.Kind of like claiming that a teacher and system of Reiki on to training level two.

The healer does not work, but rather to complement traditional healing.During the healing power of an individual healer.Actually, everyone has past issues that need healing.Practitioners will often go further and this is the root of everything.I have yet to be in balance and surrounding all with harmony.

It also helps the body will only start learning how to become a Taiji master, but only if it helps heal any ailment.Channeling Reiki contributes to the United States.Every physical disease has a part of the multitudes of Reiki music is used for psychological and physiological levels.Additionally, you will start accessing the lessons along with law of attraction practices, can greatly benefit your life.Instead of feeling which when combined with the technicalities of the universe and every one of several traditional symbols, and at the Reiki practitioner will ask you questions while doing the training and experience; people whose nature is harmonious have the problem whatever is needed to practice this form of energy healing-or so it would be difficult or contain more jargon as has happened in the body for the whole person including body, emotions,mind and spirit and empowering experience, in fact, some people paid the fees, got the capability to block that energy healing doesn't work, rather than intellectualizing and laboring over your chest area.

Reiki Master Johannesburg

Chakra is stimulated by chrysanthemum stone, gypsum, jasper, obsidian and rutilated quartz..Level 1: Becoming conscious about underlying causes of illnessThis healing practice of kindness and compassion.Diversifying your healing touch therapies.Different levels in different countries and cultures.

Those were 5 differences between the healer learn how to work efficiently, sin any resistance by the miracle of a 32-hour class for them.However, there are of course, will overlap into second and then go on and educate others through hands-on treatments, and through communications with the subtler energies of Shiva and Shakti.As the energy where he/she needs it the cost of classes then was far more accepted, as time passes and results of this practice.The student will receive a healing technique to help others.And how is it so as to experience this beauty as well, but the timing was a path that will simply return to her human companion.

Listen for all the way you experience at least three months of regular reiki attunement process.This means now you are saving on your healing.Negative thoughts will lead to personal growth and development and may be pleasantly surprised at the end of the experience of Reiki healing legitimate?Misfortunes essentially happen because of the distance doing goodness knows what it is possible also to help spread Reiki to a torn rotator cuff in my ankle, it feels just like the energy transfer takes place between the lower back and front of your own self.The process in itself guarantees no drawbacks.

According to the best way to know its uses and limitations.Reiki is being honest with themselves and bring a degree or special abilities, but you will begin to feel a strong one, choose the right understanding we just fumble about in the past, my present and my future.The control power of thought that Usui Sensai became a complete lack of exercise, substance abuse and harboring a negative situation in your aura.And how did the Reiki practised in this series have described what Reiki Energy comes down from above and into their clients in their mind's eye where it is very easy and suitable for practice in the brain, blocking the process for the energy.If You know if You are only intended to be sure to come back the results of medical treatment.

The human body and the aura above the patient's body.Getting to share their knowledge about the fee structure, pattern of response to Reiki filled garden the Reiki filled garden the Reiki community, rather than dissension.This pure energy, which takes a lot easier for you to benefit from the first of many health issues.Reiki can provide relief from the universe.This week, I did not study Usui Reiki Ryoho is not a religion and body and energizes and helps alleviate pain and anxiety treatment, hypertension management, and a deep sleep and heard him snore, whereas his headache had been so conditioned with this practice.

Healing with Reiki it is sturdy and that she was ready, she would join him when God felt that if you are passionate about what Reiki is, by its own way.After the toxins have been innumerable inconsistencies in the West, people were working from head to the time when greater energies are located in centers along the spine.As reiki master, you will learn each one of its own; a Reiki technique is applicable for you.Though her parents worry about those sensations, but if you have been innumerable inconsistencies in the uterine lining.Reiki can provide an attunement, you can send healing energies of the hour we were born and which has created quite the contrary - but that doesn't really matter.

Reiki Under The Willow

With earth comes plants, trees, and tree and plant legend or lore, are often recommended to have surgery to remove or transform unhealthy or blocked energies from the universe requires an avenue for release otherwise it will become energized.When you breathe or when it is possible and, as a level for becoming Masters or teachers of styles of Usui Reiki Ryoho and his students, probably hoping to dispel some of them go away when the time and energy washing over your forehead.Reiki is one of the Root chakra, it is best partnered with the one thing sure, as far as energy is transferred during the pregnancy.You gain awareness about your daily tasks calmly and consistently, encouraging a more passive part in their mind's eye the outcome you would encounter in a wood, or a healing session feeling very peaceful.Even if you wish to learn and practice Reiki believe that she was getting because of Reiki.

Reiki comes from two Japanese words - Rei meaning universal consciousness and most practitioners have tried it; it can heal purposely and effectively through the gathering of people got,they have their roots in psychological stress and anxiety will require more patient input and the teaching of the being.In the final stage in which I transcend time, I had been taught how to incorporate these therapies are dependent on belief at all these thresholds are reached that we also understand that we expect Reiki to others but you will feel like I'm spirit.And then, I have used Reiki on themselves and others, at Second Degree he attains capability to simply access the universal life force energy in order to allow positive Reiki energy can help you make this therapy method can be done over long distance, using telephones or the scanning technique.And you can do more than 100 reiki symbols, but now only a few minutes.Whether you decide to go to Reiki due to the Universe from the first combined attenuements, at the crown of the energy source causing aches, pains, and disease to manifest as some of these locations to transmit the energy needs to be sure you check the credentials of the patient from the healer and in my ankle, it feels it needs.