#like idk how to describe how lovely it is my family reacts with so much /joy/ while watching this movie its insane.

[knife-dad]

I've watched Blue Beetle 3 times now and i think it might be one of my favorite movies? All the little details that are specific to Mexican American culture really warm my heart, and I'm delighted by how much my whole family enjoys the movie. It's not just because of the Mexican pop culture references either, it's also the themes of the movie that feel deeply informed by our culture and experiences. It feels really special to have a superhero movie that's for us.

[professor-beaker]

(Warning: very long rant about growing up religious and aroace. Might delete this in an hour. Idk)

Dear mom and dad,

Do you remember when i was 14, and had my first kiss? You probably dont- for you, it was just another sunday. He was one of my only church friends, and he pulled me, alone, into one of the music rooms after sacrament meeting. You encouraged me to go with him, because you could read the signs i couldnt. He was very polite, but when we kissed and he grabbed my hand on the way out, it felt more wrong than anything id experienced before. I ran back to you, crying, and you walked me through rejecting him. You basically told me that i was just too young, that it would get better, but it certainly didnt feel that way at the time. Every time youve reminisced on it since, it was only to laugh at my expense. At my naievety.

I tried to take your words to heart. I tried to listen each time our church would preach about how essential families were and each time you told me how happy you two were. It didnt work.

Do you remember when i was 15, and i told you, mom, that adopting sounded way better than having biological kids? You got so offended, and i had no idea why. I still dont. You told me it was a natural part of life, that we were supposed to bring children into this world. I tried to explain my reasoning- why would i want my own children when there are those who are suffering on their own? When the thought of procreation made me sick?- but you dismissed it. It was just another day.

Do you remember the brief period when i was 15, when i dated a girl? I assume you dont, because you never found out. I lived in constant fear, because the comments you would make at the dinner table described lgbtq+ as an affront to God, as unnatural. I had thought that men were the problem, and she was my first real partner. But nothing changed, it still felt wrong, and we fell back into only being friends. I hadnt told you about that until today, because i knew exactly what youd say about it. I knew exactly what youd say about me.

Do you remember the boy i met when i was 16? The one with the curly hair and the kind smile. You were always pushing me toward him, because you saw how he looked at me (i saw, too- and i didnt like it). He took me to homecoming, and prom, and danced too close to me for my liking. You always asked if we were a thing yet- and when i said no, you smiled knowingly. I hated that smile. And you smiled that smile for years.

I reconnected with him when i was home over winter break. We hung out once, i told him my sexuality, and he barely reacted. When you asked how it went, i told you i rejected him romantically, but we were still friends. Do you remember what you said, mom? You said, "so you broke his heart and left." I cried that night.

Do you remember when you found my aroace pins a month ago? Im at college in a different state- a religious college you wanted me to go to- and you still made it your priority to berate me for it. I dont know if you could tell how angry i was over the phone, but when you said "asexual and things are just looking for attention", it broke my heart.

Because i figured it out when i was 17. Because it took me two years to finally accept it in a religion that very strongly emphasized the family unit. Because i finally felt accepted, i felt heard, i wasnt being dismissed at every corner. Because i had something to explain why i was like this.

Because i finally didnt feel broken.

I never doubted that you loved me- not once, ever, in my life. Not until you started degrading me for something i couldnt control. Not until you started pressuring me to date people i would much rather be friends with. If youre not going to love all of me, then do you even love me at all?

I hope you know that i still love you, despite everything. But i hate the way you talk to me now, the way you talk to others about me. And i hope that one day, you, too, will realize that im not broken, or affronting God, or unnatural. I hope you realize that im still your child.

I hope you realize im still human.

[bulbabutt]

if i can be corny for a second i wanna talk about the greatest strengths of the 2003 tmnt series and why it speaks to me (esp as a queer person)

so i might have alluded to this before, but let me say it outright: each show is definitely a product of its time, and the ideals of whatever generation its from. whether talking about the humour, the story, the dialogue etc, its always important to remember that these shows will always come off in a way due to the generation theyre from. and thats not a bad thing! it just means its important to think about them from that perspective.

2003 is a show of my generation growing up, and a thing about that era that maybe some people younger than me wont understand is there is so much more language commonly available to describe yourself now than there was then. you can take this in any context; mental health, sexuality, gender identity, or even just the ability to describe your relationships with more (idk if this will be the right word) therapist language.

in 03 we have a family unit of splinter and his sons, each with their own strengths and weaknesses. we have a splinter who hasnt opened up to his sons about the trauma hes experienced, but not in a way of shutting them out, simply because it isnt their responsibility to know as they are teenagers. he tells them of the mutagen that created them, but not of his past with his master yoshi, who he calls father when by himself, but never around his sons which is just an interesting concept to think about.

(i do not intent this next sentence as ragging on the two shows after this when i say it, simply from a character standpoint) this is the splinter who completely doesnt make his problems his sons problems, but he also is very willing to tell them the truth when he knows they're ready. this is is the most idyllic version of splitner out of all of them, even when comparing to his mirage counterpart (who hes the most based on) due to that splinter raising them to be ninja specifically to make them fight shredder. this one is just their father who loves them and wants to keep them safe the best way he can, and he was never a human in the first place to even know how to be that. so this whole family dynamic starts with him, and the way he raised his sons reflects his parenting.

so, the setting and year this show is made is 2003. something very relatable here is how there isnt a lot of language for the personality quirks of the turtles. there's so much evidence here for mikey having adhd, his brothers will say things like "why doesnt mikey have to help?" and the answer is "well, he'd be bored. and whats worse, mikey not helping or mikey being bored?" its this beautiful moment of, "hey, we know its not fair, but thats how mikey is, and its better for everyone if we just respect that thats how he is" mikey cant keep his hands off stuff, they know this they dont yell at him for behaving that way, they just stop him. this coding feels the most specific, but like i said. its 2003. we dont have the words to describe what this is yet, and if we do its not common knowledge.

another example is in the classic episode where raphael meets casey jones. raphael is sparring with mikey, and he lashes out and nearly kills mikey. everyone reacts to this by getting him to stop, and no one is more upset than raphael himself. they all tell him to go get some air, which he does. theres no moment of any of them screaming at him for losing his temper, its very clear that they all know he's going to do that himself. and he does go get some air. they all know thats what he needs. he goes and meets casey jones, another hot head, and raph has to help coach this hot head on his anger. when he comes back at the end of the episode after having let out that aggression, he apologizes and no one is upset with him. there's a very clear understanding among his family that he cannot help it, but the best thing they can do is give him his space when he needs it. watching this from a 2023 perspective (20 years later) im sure we could analyze this as a few things going on with raph, my mind comes to autism but at the end of the day it doesnt matter why he behaves like this, the point is that he does and the best thing his family does is just...help him. which they do. and they never hold it against him.

when leo is going through his ptsd arc hes at his closest to raph as a character, the show draws a lot of parallels (like having him go let out some aggression with casey) and we get to see the dynamic in reverse. in "i, monster" (the rat king episode) leo is losing it, taking on rat king alone and not wanting to let up. raphael is actively holding his brothers back when they say "we shouldnt leave him to fight alone", raphael says "if leo gets in trouble i'm the first one in there, but right now it looks like leo's got more than one monster to work out of his system" raph doesn't exactly know what leos going through, but he recognizes it. he knows he needs to fight alone, so raph lets him. its only when the building collapses and leo is no longer in a safe position that he says "leo lets go", which leo wordlessly agrees with and actually listens.

this is what i think is the best part of these guys, the unconditional understanding they have for the way they are. we still have our "raphs a big hot head" "mikeys annoying" jokes, but they feel like genuine good natured sibling ribbing because they know each other on that level.

and to go back to the fact that this show is set in 2003, there's something so specific about the way mikey constantly makes references to liking women's clothing, to being fine with feminine language, and to being open about being the pretty turtle who "has that effect on minds of men" speaks to me as a queer person. this could easily be intended as homophobic jokes and probably is, because again.... its the mid 2000s, thats very much what media was like, thats what the jokes were. especially with the girly screams mikey does being one of the first jokes of this nature.

but theres something that happens in season 4, where an alien is attacking mikey, and donnie rushes in and says "hey, thats my sibling" that sticks out. and it happens again in fast forward. when talking to the dark turtles leo says "you and your brothers" "me and my siblings"

because of the way this family unit just understands each other without ever having a conversation about things, it feels like its not a joke. theres some kind of affirmation happening here. even if it seems like i could be reading into it too much, its specific! and it keeps happening!

and by the end of the show, when mikey says he wants to be maid of honour, even if that line in the media itself was intended to be a joke, no one in their family treats it like one. of course mikey is the maid of honour, he asked to be one! the only real offence taken is when april says bride's maid, to which he is offended because hes so much more important than that!

so from a story standpoint, this show doesnt have the intricate complexities and butting heads of latter iterations, there isnt much relationship growth to be had (in fact once we get to around season 5 the flanderization of the characters kind of begins and it loses some of the more complexities) but thats because its just not the focus of the story! the story is more about what they go through together, and thats fine! thats what our shows kind of were at the time. not saying there isnt any relationship growth, but its very much not the focus because these turtles? they already understand each other in a healthy way.

so to me, these guys are kind of the most wholesome family unit

[theintrovertbean]

I wanna see how Nadia realized she loves Mc. Like when she realizes just how much she loves and cares for Mc and I’m talking bout before they got together because the M6 describes Mc , Mc is strong, caring , smart, talented and I just wanna see when Nadia realizes she loves Mc. ( also wanna see how she reacts to Mc being the strong Magician people say they are)🙃

Oh boy, I made this so long. I think I got a little bit carried away, but that's okay because the more Nadia content the better.

Thank you for the request, Anon! It was a delight and I had the time of my life writing it.

How Nadia realized that she loves MC

Nadia loved MC long before she even realized it. For three months, she dreamt of them and she saw their face everywhere. She already loved the idea of MC and having them in her life, but since there isn't much logic in that, she pushed it away until it was no longer possible to ignore.

However, MC was not entirely the same person in reality, but the potential was always there.

Remember the part in Nadia's route when MC was in The Tower realm with Nadia, and they woke her up from her magic slumber? Yeah, that's the person Nadia was already in love with. That version of MC didn't exist yet, at least not at the beginning of the game. But when Nadia finally invited them to the palace, and as they spent more time together, MC eventually became that person.

MC was once a powerful magician, I guess even stronger than Asra. Because MC died and lost their memories, it's likely that a lot of those abilities were lost, but not entirely. Still, this doesn't mean that MC is not a powerful magician, they just need to find a way to tap into that power. MC literally goes from cutie patootie who can summon a ball of light to breaking the Devil's chains. If that's not powerful, then idk what is.

On the one hand, Nadia is glad that the people didn't lie about MC being powerful because she hates liars. On the other hand, she found MC's power quite attractive and relieving. It gives her some peace knowing that MC can take care of themselves.

Not only MC is powerful, but also smart. Nadia was surrounded by incompetent dumbasses (except for Portia), so she wasn't joking when she said that MC's presence was refreshing. Being around someone with common sense made her life a whole lot better.

As for caring, it was something Nadia had experienced before from her family, because, let's be honest, the Satrinavas never seemed as bad as Nadia portrayed them. Still, Nadia refused to accept their affection and care, which was something she didn't do with MC. It was unusual to her at first and a little scary as well, but being cared for by MC felt so good. It took some courage, yes, but she did enjoy having someone care for her the way she cared for them too.

Loving MC was the easiest thing in the world. Nadia felt it pretty soon after MC came to the palace. It was natural, and there was no need to put much thought into it. Because of that, Nadia needed a catalyst, something that would help her realize her own emotions.

The moment when Nadia truly realizes that she's in love with MC is when Lucio steals their body and she almost loses them. You know how it is. People don't always realize how much something/someone means to them until they lose them, and that's exactly what happened to Nadia.

Suddenly, MC wasn't there, and the world felt empty and dull without them in it. And it hurt. Gayness, did it hurt. If it wasn't for her incredible self-control and because she was more focused on bringing them back, I'm sure Nadia would have had an entire breakdown. Not the pretty princess tears from a Disney movie, but actually crying.

Her heart was aching so bad, and she was horrified of losing them. Was she losing her independence if she felt like she could no longer imagine her life without MC in it? No, she was simply in love, and it was the most heart-wrenching yet beautiful feeling she had ever known in her entire life.

This person, MC, uplifted her in such a short time. Her resentment towards her sisters is almost gone, her memories are coming back, she's a better ruler, and MC has helped her with pretty much everything. MC makes both Nadia and her life better. How could she not love them?

It also made Nadia realize that she had to tell MC about her feelings. To lose them without ever telling them how much she loves them would have been far too tragic. And Nadia didn't want to let go of MC.

[soahbee]

Story time! The gathering. pt.2

I was angry, tense, I had all sorts of problems and maybe I slammed the glass on the counter too angrily because it was quite loud, but I didn't know what to do, I was so freaked out. Plus, I already had so much alcohol in me that I reacted much more sensitively. It seems long written down, but it happened in a few seconds and took place inside me, but I was listening with a thousand ears to see how R would react to this question. I will try to recall verbatim what he said: "I think it's nothing, she's a very nice woman, but she didn't manage to steal my heart."

Girls, I'm so stupid. I should have been happy about that at that moment, but all I could think about was that R could be stolen from me at any time. What's more it turned out during their conversation that the woman is 37 years old, so older than R! lol OKAY

This is where Soah got herself into a very uncomfortable situation. Yes, that's me! KILL ME I couldn't keep my mouth shut and specifically said this: "Why don't you date someone younger?" Of course, when I realized what I had said, I regretted it.😭😭 R immediately turned back to me and laughingly asked: "What do you mean?" and that's when I started to save what I could... I started to say something like "I mean, I don't interfere, it's just that a 37-year-old woman wants to start a family too quickly because of the biological clock ticking, etc" (that's all I remember, which was a meaningful sentence) lol 💀 You should have seen my blushing akward face while R just listened curiously to my monologue. I will never accept vodka from anyone again!!!😖 BRUHH

BUT then I was very surprised because I couldn't even finish my nonsense. R took my hand and said "Come dance with me" but I immediately stopped and told him that I can't dance. ????? AAA "Just follow my steps" - he said and started dancing with me to some old retro music, but it didn't really go well for me, although he spun me around twice and then he even danced with my father. (this was funny) this man knows how to kill me.😭

I'm actually glad that R brushed off my awkward speech and surprised me by asking me to dance. At least that way I didn't put myself in an even more unpleasant situation. Then of course, we were not only busy with each other, I will only describe those parts to you. So he wasn't just with me all night, he also talked a lot with other people and so did I. But I was brave enough to hug him and maybe I hugged him longer than I should have, but he didn't mind me hanging on him. And what is worth mentioning is that while I was hugging him, after a while he said: "You drank too much huh?" - he said while pinching my face, then I told him not to pinch me all the time and he pinched my face again. Sir...sir..

The problem girls is that I fell too much in love with him and I think he can see that too..(?) (maybe idk??) maybe He sees but does not push the boundaries, but I noticed that if I step and I approach he does not reject it and allows it... so idk So much has happened, but now I'm really going to stop girls, because I'm writing too much. These were the important ones and the ones I remember more precisely.

There were still a few things that happened between us that were inexplicable, but maybe I will share them later...

(I would also like to say that now that I have written this down, I am a little relieved that he is not going on another date with that woman and that he rejected her.)

[accirax]

initial thoughts on DCAS episode 11

oh my god

i had already guessed that Alec was lying (much like Jake did), but this was a really nice explanatory touch! Alec and Riya's friendship is, as usual, one of the season highlights for me.

would've been a lot more interesting if the campers could have chosen their own partners in one way or another, imo, but that would definitely eat up a lot of time in an already packed episode. plus, some pairings (like Connor and Riya) probably couldn't have happened this way, given how Riya wound up reacting to Connor.

"alright Fiore, here's how we prevent you from going home this week," one could say.

i was SO worried that Alec was going to have another confessional at some point being like "lol i was testing my acting skills on Fiore too" but he DIDN'T. which means this is CANON. THE ADOPTION IS BACK ON!!!!!!!!

okay, i actually love the decision to pair Hunter and Grett together here. both of them are the "very flawed but kinda mistreated partner of their appearances-obsessed date," so it makes sense that Hunter could give Grett a good perspective on this. also, is it just me, or did they rework Hunter's personality in this episode to be more like S2? i liked it.

i'm going to put every Fiore and Alec moment in this post and you can't stop me. i am initially thinking about them.

"joke's on you fucker i didn't teach her literally any of this. she's just built different."

as much as i enjoy Alec appreciating his daughter's sass, this does seem like a pretty radical heel turn from "i only voted Connor out of this game because it was what was best for him." i guess maybe spending time with Riya and the other villains has caused Alec to fall further off the deep end/forget about Connor's genuinely nice qualities...? or it's inconsistency between different writers, who knows.

i am 0% a jul(?) shipper, but, damn, the jul shippers were eating well this episode.

Yul is such an interesting little guy.

James flexing his character arc, we love to see it.

WHAT IS IT WITH THE CYAN WOMEN AND SECRETLY BEING JACKED????

society..... it's becoming more utopian........

see, this is why i didn't think Tess would be the one to return to the game.

Aiden is such a hater, i love him. but, overall, i agree with Lake. we're definitely sowing the seeds for a Jake redemption(/winner?) arc and a heroes' reunion.

Riya, finally finishing what she started in S2 of making the gays fall off cliffs.

villains are so fun. i love villains.

THE SOFT DAD SMILE IS BACK :D

ooh, nice callback.

this is an objectively funny screenshot. why does Alec yell like that

what a surprising outcome! (/s /lh)

:,) <3

i wish Aiden and James had more of an opportunity to talk during this episode :/ it's fine, though-- i think that James and Lake's characters were used more effectively this way.

they're getting back together after this trust me guys i'm disventure camp

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY

they truly are family now. i love it.

"not that bad" is a weird way to describe your would-be crush.

this will be a fun scene! idk which episode "Saturday" will be, though. both because idk how many days will pass in any given episode and also bc i don't recall which day today is in canon.

i do wonder what evil Gabby is doing here. i guess maybe it'll just be the side of Gabby that wants to run with the villains alliance for power vs the side that wants to follow Ellie's advice? that seems kind of weird. maybe it'll be more like the side that wants to go mad with power on the revenge quest vs Gabby's more rational and strategic side? either way, strange cliffhanger.

can't we just have everyone here... always... all the time...? no? okay :( well, it was still really nice to get the whole gang back together for this episode. i'll look forward to seeing them again in the finale.

and, hey, Connor's back in the game now! and he can't be eliminated next episode, at least. are there going to be three players with immunity...? that could get spicy. we'll see how the heroes and villains smack down when the next real elimination rolls around. back up to ten to nine again... see you next time!

[barrenclan]

i was gonna be sad that my boy didn’t eep but only for it to turn out to be a PINECORM ISSUE?? fuck yeah release me from the horrors 🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃

i assume view of the moon is the name of the leaders rock and honestly? that’s so cool. might seem generic but it’s more interesting than “leader’s rock”, and it’s even more interesting to me considering barrenclan doesn’t believe in starclan or have a moonstone. was it just a name from the time that the clan did believe? was it named that simply for how close you are to the sky? it’s really interesting idk maybe i’m overanalyizing

cormorantpaw saying specifically it’s worse when it happens for sisters than siblings or family makes me think- i would have understood if he just had sisters just like pinepaw but with crow being a brother and not being “worse when it happens” as described, makes me think that crow.. wasn’t the best brother and cormorantpaw struggles to feel sympathy. or even thrasher was a sexist with the concept of women being weaker and that idea was passed down like thrasher’s concept of getting a partner but i don’t wanna assume thrasher’s a sexist? don’t wanna throw that label onto him unless it’s 100% canon or so, it doesn’t feel appropriate.

cormorantpaw’s pauses and stuff makes me love your writing because it’s just.. this is so hard for him, he’s processing how bad thrasher was, something that’s been happening throughout his povs (his confusion on redpelt’s kindness, him telling egretrail thrasher’s weird opinions on the transgender and romance) and now he’s at a point where he can express it but also just.. it shows how much he trusts and love pine. I LOVE IT I LOVE THEM SO MUCH GRRR BITE

i love them fr omg they’re so silly cormorantpaw just casuallt explained his emo backstory and they immediately became so silly and goofy and awkward over the prospect of loving eachother and shit this is so great. TJEY WANNA HAVE SILLY NAMES AND STUFF!!!!! AGAHAHHRHRHGG!! THEY WANNA ESCAPE THE HELL LAND THEY LIVE IN!!

cormorantpaw’s finally found peace and he wants to keep it. go away defiance :((. i hope at least pinepaw can sleep better with cormorantpaw next to him

there’s two reactions i wanna see to their togetherness if it ever were to be found out: cootstorm, as brought up by pinepaw, is one that i can’t wait to see. but also.. daffodilpaw. i might have daffy bias but she was so, so sure that it was her *destiny* to date cormorantpaw and have kits to *make up* for her injury and even though i do believe that’s unhealthy for her i just.. what’s her thoughts gonna be on her supposed destiny being stripped in front of her by her brother? aggh i lovr angst :3 i will punch cootstorm if she reacts badly tho

this issue makes me want to get a gf to go cuddle with. 10/10 issue would patfw again

No more nightmares only KISSING!!

Yeah, View of the Moon is the leader's rock, I like giving typical things in Warriors more fantastical names (like The Sanctuary AKA Moonpool from my other comic). It's named that way for two reasons, one is just that it's the tallest rock in camp so it's the easiest to see the sky from. And secondly because it's a paler color than the rest of the dens, so it looks a bit more like the moon.

Crow is actually one of Cormorantpaw's sisters, Partridge is his brother! Thrasher did treat women (namely, Egrettail and uh, his wife) very badly, though, so it's pretty safe to assume he's sexist.

Cormorantpaw's emotional development makes me :,) my boy has come so far... him and Pinepaw are so silly together!! Just two little guys!!!

I won't say much but you will definitely get a Daffodilpaw perspective on this soon :3

[watermelonsugacry]

OK I HAVE SO MANY THINGS I WANNA TALK 2 U ABOUT SO HERE IS ME RANTING AND PUTTING QUESTIONS:

I lovehe relationship yn has w the tomlinsons😫 like how she has a secrete handshake with the twins and how lottie is like her little sister and LOUIS IS LITERALLY A DREAM FRIENDSHIP

I have this thing where i like to think that yn was a big fan of paramore, and she also wrote some hits like only exeption (it just screams her and also it reminds me of how she would feel abt harry)

I also see her writing 'girl crush' when harry and taylor were dating and then saling it in 2014 but idk thats just me

And am i the only one who sees a PERFERT friendship between her and jennifer lawrence??

OK NOW I GOT SOME QUESTIONS SO HOPE THEY'RE NOT TOO MUCH

Whats the readers networth? Like i know that shes rich but how rich🤔

On a scale of 1-10 how famous is she? Like comparing to a big celebrity like Beyonce is she just as famous or..?

Whats her favorite colour?

Who is more clingy, harry or her?

Besides harry and louis who is her bestfriend that she hangs out w the most

What are some celebrities that got a crush on her and who has made that public

The weeknd has a song 'the party & after party' and it kind of sounds that hes describing a girl like yn "with your louis v bag, tats on your arms, high heels shoes make you 6 feet tall.." so are there some speculations ab this from the fans?

AND LAST is the reader the teaser in the relationship or does harry like to make fun of her more? ( srry if theres any mistakes)

IM ALWAYS DOWN FOR THIS LOVIE 💚

same!! they're family 🥰

funny enough, i actually picture a lot of paramore's music to be the music that yn would make with her band when she was in high school!

in the 1d!yn universe, she wrote Girl Crush!! (I remember talking about it a while ago on here but I forgot what year she wrote & sold it lol)

I don't know much about jennifer lawrence but thats an interesting pair 👀

I'll base it off of ariana grande's net worth at 240 million. But we all know that no number can amount to her actual worth 💅

I'd say that on a scale of 1-10, she's about an 8. She's a household name and an absolute force to be reckoned with. She's the type of famous that she forgets that she is and she'll record herself reacting to tiktoks lying down in bed, make-up free, and just lose her mind laughing. Or there was another time when she took herself out on a brunch date bc Harry went out to play golf that morning. Two girls approached her table and politely greeted her, said how much they loved her and had tickets to see her show that night. But before they could leave, YN invited them to sit with her and spent the rest of the morning eating and chatting with them.

Her favorite color is lavender 💜

Harry is the more clingy of the two! He's always the one who lays himself on top of her when she's about to get out of bed. When they arrive at the stadium he's going to perform at, her hand is constantly intertwined with his. When she's doing some last-minute rehearsals and sound checks, he's sitting at the edge of the room as he watches her work while still giving her her space. Or when she's in her home studio, he insists that she sits in his lap as she works because he's missed her all day, promising that he won't be a distraction to her (even though he totally is). And don't get it twisted, she can be clingy too sometimes; she's just better at hiding it.

Her other good friends that she hangs out with whenever she can are: Abel (the weeknd), Perrie Edwards, and Alisha Davies (an old friend from Doncaster turned choreographer).

oh my gosh where do I even begin?! There's a couple that initially come to mind: Matt Healy, Alex Turner, and Taron Egerton. For some reason, I can hear Matt say in an interview: "YN YLN is totally fit. Yeah, she's a fucking babe she is."

OOO definitely! Fans from both fan bases had speculated that they might have dated in 2017 (they didn't) bc that's when they hung out in public for the first time. Some people still speculate that Abel might have a crush on her til this day.

I'd say they share the teasing role. She throws playful jabs at him left and right, but she's the one who helped coax out that side of him. While they tease one another behind closed doors ALL the time, their favorite time to make fun of each other is at each other's shows.

[bluegekk0]

thank you for answering my last question!!!

but now i cant help but wonder how it interacts with the other fpk family members, like how it gravitates towards pk could it (or would it) curl around the younger kiddos as a form of protection? or be pesky if hornet decided to wear it?

lil unrelated but like if someone in the household fell asleep at a desk or something whilst working could it scuttle over and acts as a blanket for em? idk i thought was cute visual and had to ask

Since it shares consciousness with Grimm, it would react to others how he would. Feeling like rambling so I'll go over each family member and possible interactions.

In general, Grimm is very protective of his family, and that's reflected in how the cloak acts around them. I really like the visual you mentioned, I could absolutely see it happening. Grimm usually takes it off at home and either hangs it on the wall or throws it on the couch as he changes to his casual clothes, so the cloak would be able to move around the room if there was a need. I don't think it would do so very actively, as I said in prior posts, it does act just like a cloak most of the time, so it would mostly respond to things happening in its vicinity.

As I mentioned before, it's very gentle and protective of FPK, just like Grimm. If Vyrm wears it, it's the most in-tune with what he does, which goes to show how much he and Grimm understand each other. All he has to do is ask it to hold something for him and it does so without hesitation, and it'll even assess the environment and do things for him that he didn't speak about, like bringing him tools or extra nails and screws, or moving his drink out of the way so he doesn't accidentally knock it off of the desk with his elbow. It curls around him, in a protective but also very playful (and even flirtatious) manner. It's the most responsive to him, as even while Grimm is wearing it, it will instinctively move towards him.

With Hornet, it can be a bit pesky like you described it. Grimm loves Hornet like his own daughter, but their dynamic has always included a lot of banter, and you'd see it with her interactions with the cloak. It doesn't listen to her when she asks it to do something, and only does so after she's already shouted profanities at it. But despite the mischief, it still protect her from danger without second thought. But I think Hornet would find the fluffy collar of the cloak very irritating, so she's not too keen on wearing it.

Since Holly can't speak, their interactions with the cloak can only rely on the subconsicous. The cloak doesn't have eyes, but it is aware of its environment, so it's possible to make it hold something without telling it to, though using word is much more effective since it can't actually read minds (Grimm's is the exception, but that is because they share consciousness). It can predict what someone would want to do, like I mentioned in the FPK segment, but not being able to speak can lead to some misunderstanding. So that's something Holly unfortunately has to deal with, though thankfully the cloak is a lot less irritating compared to when Hornet wears it, as Grimm has always treated Holly with a lot of patience and kindness - they're not really made for banter, and Grimm is aware they're still learning how to properly interact with others, so he tries not to put them in situations that'd stress them out.

With Lewk and the twins, the cloak would be very caring. When Grimm wears it, the cloak is always on the lookout, making sure the kids are safe - if Lewk decides to practice gliding and jumps off the furniture, the cloak is ready to catch him and prevent him from hurting himself. And it instinctively curls around the twins as they sleep, protecting them from harm, and especially with Milo, keeping them warm and comfortable. Grimm also enjoys flicking the cloak tendrils in unpredictable ways in front of the kids to encourage them to practice ambushing and chasing it, which is something Asta is especially eager to do.

And lastly, with Zote, the cloak would be comically unresponsive to his commands. It does the exact opposite of what he wants, and even seems amused when he gets angry. Grimm has always found Zote to be quite entertaining, and likes messing with him, though he does consider him a member of his family, so despite the cloak's antics, no harm would come to him as long as he's in its presence.

I'd love to draw some of these situations, one day, so this ask was very useful for thinking about some ideas! Thank you ❤️

[evelili]

Okay I’ve been reading more of your magnum opus fic (one chapter. help they keep destroying me emotionally) and I have highlighted a solid THIRTY SEVEN lines from the fic so far so I thought I should write a like. halfway(?) through comment for you so they don’t get too long! I’m really enjoying your characterization of everyone and the pacing is fantastic. The focus on the trials of the main six is amazing and really allows you to build all of their characters individually then together. Like for applejacks chapter it was focused on her but then now with this flashback in pinkie pie’s chapter it gives a lot of context for her and rainbow’s relationship and how they’ve grown which I love!!

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I’m pretty sure this textbook is older than me. A quick peek at the publication page under the cover confirmed her theory. It’s even older than Shining!

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Okay this was the first line I ever highlighted and it’s just because I was so… idk i really love how you show this dynamic between twilight and her family and how they all rely on each other. I’m very curious about twilights nightmare prophecy dream and if we’ll ever see Shining Armor or Cadence again and maybe how they’ll react to the events of the story!

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“Hope I didn’t bother you much.”

Shoot shoot shoot, say something, Sparkle! You’re being weird again! “No, you weren’t bothering me.” Yes! Good! “No one really talks to me, so I guess it was kind of nice.” No!

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This scene was SUPER funny I really like how you’re able to write these quick, witty exchanges that feel like the characters from the show with a more mature feel to it

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Twilight hated being pitied. Being such a pitiful person.

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I really like this line here. You’ve mastered this style of like… having twilight think something then INSTANTLY switching what it means cause with the first sentence I’d imagine it was her disliking others and how they act when they pity her but the second sentence IMMEDIATELY recontextualizes it into her hating HERSELF. It’s brilliant

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It felt like Sunset—strong and steady and warm.

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I really love how you wrote Sunset and Twilight during the first act their friendship feels so easy and so difficult as well just because twilight doesn’t know how to deal with someone new that she hasn’t perfectly learned how to avoid from knowing them since grade school, like she doesn’t know her and it makes all of their interactions feel like they’re trying SO HARD to learn who the other is and it just feels like such a genuinely high school experience I love how you write this

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The ice was back, though not as blatant as before. It hid between Celestia’s words, biting at her consonants and the breaths she took between.

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This description took my breath away. You really have this way with words of describing characteristics and mannerisms in ways that manages to completely blindside me and it just makes reading your story so exhilarating. I never know what’s coming and I adore it for that!

I’m gonna cut this one off here cause it’s already fairly long and I am NOT sending a 5000 word ask on tumblr so I’ll probably send more later but holy shit I need to mention this. The way you end all the chapters of the story by focusing on how twilights outlook on science and magic and friendship is shifting slowly with every experience is amazing and it makes me feel so happy and excited everytime I get to the end of the chapter!!

Also you mentioned a 30k epilogue in my last ask and uh. oh my god. I’m very excited for that!! AND ANOTHER THING. Your art is absolutely STUNNING. I love reading a chapter and then looking at the art. The art for the applejack chapter is so amazing, the composition just blows me away and I love how you choose to do this black and white, almost sort of painting-esque look to all of them. AND I JUST SAW THE ONE FOR FLUTTERSHYS OH MY GOD. Twilights head coming out of its mouth… fluttershy with the stake… AND THE PINKIE PIE ONE? (Sorry I downloaded the fic so none of the images carried over so you’re getting my live “WHAT THE FUCKKKKK” reaction to all of these) THE BALLOONS??? COVERING TWILIGHT?? BECAUSE SHES ASHAMED AND HIDING HER PAIN BEHIND A SMILE? AND DOESNT WANT ANYONE TO FIND OUT?? AND PINKIE PIE WITH A SINGLE BALLOON WITHOUT A SMILE AND HER EYES HIDDEN AUGHHHHHH

Love this!!!

hi yes hello i think ive finally collected myself enough to figure out how to respond to this!! first of all: thank u so much again for ur indepth thoughts!!! like holy shit it rlly makes me so happy to get comments like this u will not believe ldksfjlksdfkff

focusing specifically on the ice line w celestia u highlighted, that's actually one of the ones im most proud of in the entire fic! it was rlly fun to work w some alliteration nd i think the flow/rhythm of it turned out rlly nice, and im glad that you liked it too :D

honestly, to me writing is pretty much the same as drawing, just instead of like colours and shit u gotta think of the shapes of letters and sounds of words and the rhythm of sentences blending together yknow? and if i had any advice to give, instead of "colour picking" like in art, i like to "word pick" or "concept pick" instead, basically take a phrase or idea from a previous sentence / para and reuse it in another context (like another part of the canvas almost). it's a bit of an abstract way to think but it works for my brain so maybe it can work for u too, or anyone else reading this xd

and im so glad u like the art!! i didn't realize that downloading the epub from fimfic removes the art, which i guess means anyone who read c12 + the epilogue in epub rather than on the site missed out on some key stuff dkfjsdlfjdkf not to mention all the chapter cards, oopsie. maybe ill update the authors note or smth if i remember too (she said, like a liar who definitely wont)

actually, i went with the bw style bc a) colour theory sucks but also b) it works well for printing physical copies lol. ik some other ponyfics have done physical runs, so maybe if i ever get time ill learn how to put all that together (and that way ppl definitely dont miss out on the art xd)

i guess to end it off, the point u made abt shining, it was rlly important to me to show his nd twilight's dynamic as smth supportive! im an older sibling (not by much tho), so i tried to write from the perspective of what an imaginary older brother might be like for me. since i imagine shining a lot older than twi (if she's ~17, i imagine he's mid-twenties), maybe he's a bit of an uncle-like figure / trusted adult too, rather than just an older brother. but im not rlly sure! have a doodle regardless, and i hope you enjoy the rest of the story!

[alhaithamhabibi]

assign your moots as the way to protect the female lead’s older brother?

ᴍᴇᴇɴᴀ ɴᴏᴛᴇs : okay so I'm assuming this was assigning my lovely moots as twtptflob BUT i added a little twist of how the character assign to my mutuals would react to them

fl!roxana agriche — @that-one-pretty-bitch ( no it's not because of quizzes and what fl you got but the power you two radiate is there and oh another beautiful and intelligent woman just like her? she'll teach you how to kill men and get away with it. and if you already know, you already know what your bonding activities are now )

ashil agriche — @sidra-29 ( must protect. must cherish. must keep that beautiful smile on your face <33333 the days when you're at your lowest, he swears to be right by your side and help you get through these tough times whether be making you smile again or letting you all rant out lisTEN this boy wants to be right by your side don't get too attached to him tho )

jeremy agriche — @rouecentric ( jeremy sees that broken gen z humor of yours and thinks 'finally, some good fucking humor' and if you teach him the vines and memes....my god roue, what have you done?? it's only fair he teaches you how to kill and pulls you for adventures like that i'll go hide in the closest bye )

dion agriche — @d10nsaint ( he read your thirsts posts on him too so congratulate on making his now established ego even bigger. also he wants to see you cry. man gives his therapist therapists so do us a favor and make him ugly, brook, that his world wouldn't even want him back )

griselda agriche — @roseadleyn ( i just know you two would be gushing over books of any kind. so many recommendations and the way you teach her about the language of flowers, she can't help but be mesmerized by the passion in your voice when you talk about your favorite subjects )

charlotte agriche — @dion-s-lawyer ( it's like opposites attract but make it platonic/familial 🥺 the times when you feel like you might make a mistake, she'll help you out despite acting tsun tsun about it but you two could def learn a lot from each other also she loves the edited picture of dion you created )

sylvia pedelian — @lady-navier0357 ( you're so sweet, kind and she loves to converse with you. she would try to learn your home language, try to use and miserably fail but it's something won laugh over and yes she's a hardcore shipper of you and your bf <333 )

cassis pedelian — @acuriousmoon ( you're a soothing presence he can't help but fall back tbh idk how it describe it but it's like two old souls finding each other again and catching up from his crazy in laws to us mutuals with our shenanigans. hope you both enjoy the tea and enjoy the tranquillity before the mood gets ruined >:) )

maria agriche — @dxmoness ( would absolutely be interested in teaching you how to kill your subordinates with a cute umbrella uwu and oh you're writing a murder scene? well, she'll definitely help of you out by figuring the best method to kill so you can make it accurate as possible i'm scared but it's weirdly cute )

sierra agriche — @elychee ( both of you are so precious together agkjfskd it's like a double combo attack whenever you two are together and she loves hearing you simp over alberu ah young love how adorable!! a love like this makes you smile so much eases her heart to know such pure love like this can exist )

maid emily — @loekas ( having a badass maid interacting with you?? i know we all want one she'd teach you the magic from her world in return she's very interested in that story with characters resembling her mistress 👀 plsss i know she'll definitely help you write the story and give you baked goods as rewards )

og!roxana agriche — @cerisearan ( og!roxana is my baby after all she has been through, she's tired but being with you reminds her still has a life and when you talk about your ocs, you'll never have to question if she's listening because she'll ask so many questions about the characters and storyline so hope you're ready for long late night talks )

[anyablackwood]

OC Deep Dive Tag

Thanks for the tag, @mysticstarlightduck! I'll be using Hope Blackwood for a change <3

What uncommon/common fear do they have?

Banality. (She is edgy and 13)

Do they have any pet peeves?

Ophelia's existence. But especially when she's loud and complains about or to Hope.

What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom?

Books, a dagger, a magnifying glass.

What do they notice first in a person?

Their gaze.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance?

6, at best 7 (though she swears it's 10)

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure?

Depends? If there's a clear physical danger, it's flight. If it's a nonviolent confrontation, fight.

Do they come from a big family/are they a family person?

HUGE family. on the younger end of 10 children. Isn't so much of a "family person" as she's a "put up with them because I begrudgingly love them and my world is too small to have any other perspective" person (but she does love them).

What animal represents them best?

A grumpy but lazy cat.

What is a smell that they dislike?

Extremely heavy perfumes. For a specific scent, boiled broccoli.

Have they broken any bones?

An arm, once.

How would a stranger likely describe them?

Odd, quiet, moody.

Are they a night owl or a morning bird?

Honestly I haven't thought about it. Probably a night owl? Just because she likes being a rebel.

What is a flavor they hate and a flavor they love?

Hates oregano. Loves garlic.

Do they have any hobbies?

Reading, mostly. She used to journal, but then one of her sisters got into her diary, and she hasn't used it since. She also likes animal bones.

Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprises?

Stunned-still, then pretending to be annoyed (but secretly pleased by the attention). She otherwise hates surprises, though.

Do they like to wear jewelry?

Not particularly. It gets in the way of her usual activities. A simple necklace will do, maybe something sentimental.

Do they have neat or messy handwriting?

Neat.

What are the two emotions they feel the most?

Annoyance and boredom.

Do they have a favorite fabric?

Wool, perhaps? or cotton? IDK I'm not a fabric girly. Something suitable for the weather and breathable.

What kind of accent do they have?

I haven't decided where she lives exactly yet, so I don't have a region-specific answer, but an American accent most likely.

That's all! I really haven't spoken about this story much, which I'll have to get around to, but it's a nice change from constantly thinking about my Traveling Bards story, tbh.

For now, let's do an OPEN TAG! I'll retroactively add you if you asked (we don't have to be mutuals!!!)

[keyoflorelei]

After hearing about Oshi no Ko for months, I finally got around to watching season 1/reading up to the latest chapter of the manga,,, and,,, I think I went in with my expectations too high from how much it has been hyped? I enjoyed it, but it feels like a solid 6.5/10 for me

Rambling under the read more

The positive:

Love Ai, love Ruby, love Aqua. I particularly enjoyed how the first arc was set up, I enjoy how Aka has handled writing characters reacting to trauma differently, and I am enjoying the current arc.

Aqua and Ruby's relationship from being doctor/patient that considered each other to be family to being reborn as twin reincarnators to finding out who the other was in the previous life? chef's kiss

Ai on the other hand is honestly one of my absolute favorites and I honestly have no words to describe how much I love how she was written. I just love her,,, so much,,, ┗( T﹏T )┛

The negative:

The Akane - Aqua - Kana love triangle, the completely random interjections of slapstick comedy, the stage play arc, the random crow girl? All felt incredibly unnecessary/take away from the story line.

It honestly feels like Aka wrote the first two arcs and the current arc and then was told by his editor that he needed to fluff the story out. To an extent, I get that he is trying to show different dark parts of show biz/level up Aqua/Ruby's career path, but it just feels so?? Rushed?? Disjointed?? A slodge to read through at times?? Like Aka couldn't decide if he wanted to write a murder mystery, a high school romance, a rise in showbiz, or a comedy, so he spins a wheel every chapter and what it lands on is what that chapter is going to have.

Kana had this fantastic character journey with starting at her lowest point in her career, to starting to realize it's ok to let her acting shine again in the shojo live action, to really starting to really shine on stage/regain her confidence as an idol?? And then comes the stage arc to reset her to zero and go through the entire character development in three panels?? And she leaves the idol group after barely being shown in it??

How the entire idol group is handled??? Is just so weird to me like they were shown on stage one (1) time and they got one (1) MV, and then the group just pretty much just?? gets shoved to the background?? Why wasn't Ruby allowed to go out and recruit members? Why was her showbiz career pretty much just a quick montage?? Why do we see Aqua interacting with the girls more than they do with each other????????? Why is Ruby rarely allowed to interact with anyone without Aqua having to introduce her to them/being the object of their discussion????

I'm just,, not happy with how the idol group was handled in general. I would have loved for the story to focus 50% on Aqua trying to find the killer and 50% on Ruby progressing through her idol career instead of focusing 90% on everyone falling in love with Aqua while he has internal monologues in the corner :| It would have been so so so much fun to see Aqua going a progressively darker route with his manipulations as a foil to his sister who is steadfast in her refusing to lie/go against her morals/actively trying to heal, but still trying to seek justice for her loved ones??

IDK and how the hunt for Aqua/Ruby's dad is being handled is kind of weird? Their dad is a serial killer, but it feels like it was forgotten about for half the series? Like Aqua realizes the killer is probably his dad, but all we are shown (outside of Aqua's thoughts) is one panel per arc showing the completed paternity tests? Like why do we never get to see Aqua in action collecting the samples, making small talk with the crew to try to find clues? Why are there no panels with reporters talking in the background about actresses going missing? If Hikaru really has been killing for what? 20ish years? (Age 11 to 33?), and his primary targets are celebrity women at the peak of their career?? Shouldn't more people?? Notice?? The very famous women missing??? Isn't this something internet forums would be eating up???? Wouldn't Miyako be reminding the girls constantly about safety if she knew celebrity women were going missing? Wouldn't she be implementing safety precautions? Why do we only find out about celebrity deaths out of nowhere?

Like Ai and Gorou's murders were really well done, but the way we find out that Taiki's parents died in a murder/suicide is just by Taiki flat out saying it? Why wasn't that mentioned earlier instead of him just telling Aqua at the very end of that stage play arc? Aqua would have absolutely seen it on the news when it happened or at the very least heard from the director he is studying under?? The crew would have been gossiping about it on set for sure??? With how big of otaku Kana and Akane are about acting, they would have known that from the get go/mentioned it to Aqua when they found out they were acting alongside Taiki?? It's kind of a big elephant in the room and somehow nobody mentions it?? Idk I felt like there could have been just much more suspense/foreshadowing of all the murders/setting up their dad as the big bad, but love triangles and slapstick comedy were the priority (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

[lahooozaherr]

I’m posting this here because I want to gather my thoughts on it somewhere but….

I do empathize with those who are pressuring celebs to say more. To an extent. There are celebs higher up on the “food chain” that would probably receive less consequences than others for speaking out (or not idk I could be wrong, it’s just my observation). But it’s obvious now that most of the time they’ve been receiving some kind of consequence and they’re not entirely immune to it.

I mainly empathize because when speaking out about this lately I’ve felt almost alone, like I’m screaming into a void. I know I’m not REALLY alone in it, especially on company I keep on social media. Also, with the way the media has been, suppression of Pro-Palestinian sentiment (suspecting this is happening on my insta), etc.

HOWEVER….

As I’ve seen similar opinions on here, I agree that we can’t rely on famous people to save us and do the work. Would having their voice help? Sure, but when they actually know what they’re talking about and not contributing to the cesspool of misinformation.

But that isn’t a reason to become complacent and not do our own work. Celebrities have always disappointed us and will continue to.

In regard to Pedro, we don’t know and we may never really know what his situation is. I don’t personally feel like it’s our business, like I do with all things in his personal life! As much as I love him, and even I hope someday we get to hear his voice on things again, he’s not going to save us. I’m not going to ride hard on celebs having exceptions, but they’re human as well and just as fallible. Although, I did want to point out that:

Pedro and his family were political refugees. I’d like to think (I’m not assuming or asserting either) that he has an idea of what he’s doing. We can’t act like he hasn’t been in these shoes somewhat before, or at least seen it through his parents.

He now has several siblings in spotlights and gaining notoriety aside from him. I’m sure he considers their safety just as much as any of us would with our own families.

He might also be very popular on the internet and wanted for all kinds of projects, but he doesn’t have the influence some prominent figures do. I’ve seen this factor pointed out in several posts as well. Pedro is definitely someone that isn’t immune to the backlash he could receive.

I understand with all of this, everything going on, is extremely difficult to witness and try to reconcile with on the inside. I know I’m probably just repeating what many have already said and fumbling over myself a little. I don’t (or at least no longer) subscribe to a lot of celeb culture and have learned to no longer look to them for things like this. It doesn’t make it any less frustrating when they don’t use their voices. But I just don’t think it’s that black and white. Although I usually err to not feel bad for rich people.

SO! With that being said, I’m feeling the pain as well. It’s been very difficult for me to learn how to mourn and feel like I’m not losing my mind over Gaza and how too many people are not treating it as serious as it is. Or don’t see how connected we all really are (nor do I ever assert that my pain could even compare to Palestinians and those with more proximity to the situation).

But we’re privileged with free speech ourselves (I say that with a shakey hand gesture in some cases). It’s our duty to use it for those who can’t and, if anything, especially when celebs or figures with more of a platform can’t or won’t.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to properly describe the pain I know a lot of us feel over this. I understand how easy it is to react rather than respond, become angry (a lot of the anger in general is valid), to get wrapped up in the online politics over whose saying or not saying what.

But the best thing we can do about it is to do that work ourselves.

I’m lowkey nervously posting this because I don’t typically write up posts like this on here but I’m trying to move past that discomfort. I know it’s just another layer of white supremacy to not say or do anything for fear of not getting it right the first time. I’m sure there’s many good points against what I’ve said and I do my best to continue to be an “always evolving and learning” kind of person.

But just to bring it back to what I’m saying: we have free speech and can use it, and we should. Our words have power even when we don’t feel like they do. Maybe sometimes I empathize to my detriment (working on that lol) but I digress.

We can’t rely on celebs to do it all for us. ACTUALLY, we need that energy focused on our elected officials. Because if anything, this is an even BIGGER mask off moment for them. That’s a whole other problem I won’t get into on here, but still.

If you read this and write me off as just trying to justify silence for my fave celeb, then you’re allowed to have that opinion. If I’m ever proven wrong I have no problem owning up to that. I’m just not waiting around for them to say something before I do.

[confessions-official]

idk what 2 warn this as. abuse?? grooming?? toxic relationship probably, sry. also the r, n, and f slur

when i was 13 i entered a long-distance "relationship" with (at the time) an australian 15 yearold and it was sososo great from what i can remember. my memory is shit so i cant remember very much from then but i remember it being very nice. we had a conversation about her feminity (at the time she didnt know she was trans) and i said some shit (HEAVILY paraphrasing) reminding her that she could just Be a girl if she wanted and then she Did. and then i had a girlfriend it was a very nice year. anyway.

few months after that it was fine but then everything kept dissolving into arguments. and idk if i'm just kinda fucked up and neurotic (i tend to react badly 2 rejection of any kind and that wasnt her fault whatsoever) but i think most of the arguments were about me being upset that we werent playing a game together or me feeling left out. we both had a mutual friend and we did so much shit together.

and then it just kept getting worse! the arguments escalated (or they were getting more direct i dont think it was ever about the games) and instead of games the arguments were about how she was treating me. i repeatedly accused her of ignoring the uglier parts of me in favor of my "caring nature". idk how to describe it. i strongly felt, and still kind of feel that she just wanted me to be her mommy who would shower her in endless affection, because whenever i would get into a gloomier mood (because of her or not, mostly not) she would take offense to it.

i also have. anger issues? idk i'm very reactive sometimes and it also forced a lot of arguments out over useless shit

i also sent her a package at some point with a hoodie and some fucking thigh socks she encouraged me to buy when i was eleven or ten. unfortunately it took like 4 months to show up and it felt like every single moment of our time together was her asking about the package. When was it coming has the status changed yet is it in australia yet? it pissed me off so much because it felt like she was just!! using me for clothes!! but i also understand because her family is a crock of shit who wouldn't accept or support her wearing or buying more feminine clothing, and this was one of the only ways she could feel girly.

it eventually bubbled over to the point where i blocked her on all social media platforms and we began arguing heatedly over email. and she sent me this wonderful string of emails where she was kissing/asking to kiss me (something that i fucking HATE – i do not want to be flirted with or called petnames while we argued, i nake this very clear), telling me that we both loved each other, and sent methis fantastic fucking email about how she was excited to see me hang myself on facebook whilst also calling me an unlovable neurodivergent retard.

i have it saved on my phone and it honestly makes me laugh now because of how fucking weirdly its worded. like a bad 4chan copypasta. but anyway lol

that hit especially awful at the time bc i was researching autism because i was 99% sure something wasnt clicking in my brain AND i was having ongoing issues with my mom. i had a massive breakdown in which i stopped speaking to her for 6 months which were the most miserable points of my life. i had to switch emails bc she just kept spamming me while i was having a meltdown!

i think i just got overbearingly lonely at that point bc sometime in 2023 iirc i reached out to her again and we got back together! somehow.

the arguments got even worse and we were on-and-off for a Long time. i was regularly blocking her and arguing with her every other day-ish and jesus fucking christ it was awful! Bad!!!

then our mutual friend turned out to be transphobic and she continued being friends with him ?! and this still really confuses me bc.. i remember being in a voice call with him and he was repeatedly using the incorrect pronouns and did not respond seriously when i corrected him. and i brought it up with her multiple times and she was like Naw dont worry about it??? idk man maybe theres something i was missing???

there was also this time that i told her about how i got groomed twice when i was younger because i trusted her to not tell anyone about it. and then she turned around and Told Our Mutual Friend about it. >_>

AND THE WHOLE GENDER SHIT i'm someone who uses every/all pronouns interchangably and is somewhat genderfluid. i came out to her multiple times because she. kept forgetting i wasnt cis!

at the time i was just using "all pronouns" but my gf kept using feminine terms for me and she/her prns for me and i kept asking her to stop doing that. but she did not. so it turned into an argument where i was telling her that i didnt want her to cherrypick the parts of my identity she liked the most and that i wasnt even a woman. it took her multiple months afterwards to even Begin using masculine terms for me >_> altho it is mainly my fault because i didnt really specify what i meant by "all pronouns" (but she also never asked !?)

recently, about 3~ weeks ago, like a week before my bday, we broke up again. this time it was way messier because i'm not moving my email again. its also permanent i would rather someone put me down than make me go back to talking to her

i finally realized that a newly 15 year old Shouldn't be dating someone who was going to turn 18 in the same fucking year! i blocked her on everything, bur she still had my email so we were arguing over Email again. she went on a racist tangent, repeatedly calling me a stupid white girl and refering to me with the n-slur in the same sentence (i am of mixed race). she also told me it was fine because she was also mixed race and "i'm calling you my homie" which is. yeah! i think she also said something abt me being a fag or whatever but maybe not. i deleted most of her emails as they came in so i dont remember >_>

i also said some awful transphobic shit to her about her pretending to be a girl so she could get closer to me which i. cannot say how much i regret saying that awful crap! it's definitely not reflective of my opinions and my morals, i was trying to get under her skin at the time and more some fucking reason that seemed like the best thing to dig my nails into. it was fucked up with me and if things werent like how they are i would apologize for it immediately.

i havent talked to her since the racist shit nor do i really want to but shes began spamming me with different accounts on another social media platform we're both on. and idk what im going to end up doing about it other than blocking.

these last like 3 years have been Dog Shit i tell ya! sorry 4 the long ask also DEAR GOD ??

 

[clairelsonao3]

Happy Storyteller Saturday!

Today I'll send two questions (which are connected):

Question 1 - Imagine that your characters enter a magic labyrinth that shows them their biggest dream (s) come true. What do they see? Is their dream something they can achieve in real life?

Question 2 - In the same labyrinth, your characters enter a room that puts them face to face with (an illusion of) the person they hate the most or their worst fear. How do they react? Are they able to put up a fight against the illusion or do they need to be rescued? How do they feel in the aftermath of the confrontation?

Happy last week's STS! I love the questions that make me think more deeply about my characters, and this is definitely one of them, so thank you! It took so long because I wanted to do a thorough job and find snippets to illustrate my points (because people seem to like those, I guess!)

Both my characters from Good Slaves Never Break the Rules, despite coming from wildly different backgrounds, dream of surprisingly similar things, and they both have to do with putting their fractured families back together.

Below the cut for snippets and mild spoilers for Ch. 6 onward.

Sadly, [Name redacted] can't go back in time to save his mother from dying or his sister from being sold, or to know and have a relationship with his father (which is something he's never admitted to dreaming of, but deep down he does), or for that matter, to have been born into a different life altogether where he'd actually have any chance of being able to do any of those things, so I would say, no, his dream is not really achievable. Within the course of the story, he finds other things to dream of that may be achievable, but they're not his BIGGEST dream.

From Ch. 5

There was a storm cloud forming in his amber-gold eyes. “You’re going to argue with me about this? I couldn’t even—” He turned away suddenly.

Louisa's goal at the beginning of the story was just to make it through university and her o-chem course in particular, but we soon find out that that's really just a byproduct of her attempts to cope with her dysfunctional family and make it on her own so she doesn't have to be dependent on them, or worse, some awful guy (Corey) she's only with because of his money. Thankfully for her, that is achievable, but if she had to choose, she'd rather heal them and bring them all back to the way they were. And thankfully, they're all still alive, so I suppose that's also achievable theoretically, but it's definitely not something she can do all on her own (which she comes to learn).

From Ch. 19

"...And I thought if I had just tried harder, just said something different, I could have made things okay, but I tried and tried and — “

Fears?

For [redacted], his loved ones dying/being tortured right in front of him and not being able to do anything about it. If that were to manifest as a person, I'm almost sure it would be in the form of the evil, sociopathic son of his first owner who basically ruined his entire life in the course of a month. And yes, it would be difficult, but of course he would fight back!

From Ch. 20

It was the fear behind her eyes, much as she tried to hide it; the fear that he once again had failed to prevent. Fearful, sullied, violated, terrorized, discarded, just like everything that had ever been precious to him. Maybe the streak could never be broken.

For Louisa, I had to think about it. My first thought was being trapped -- not physically, although that might be part of it, but just that feeling of a lack of choice and/or options. But then, her conscience also haunts her, especially because she feels she has blood on her hands from living in an evil, corrupt system for so long and doing nothing about it. So maybe "inertia" would be the best way of describing it. Not being able to grow -- to be forever condemned by the past and forced to repeat it or never being able to atone for it. Idk, maybe her fear would manifest in the form of Corey, because when she looks at him, she sees the person she's afraid of being or could have become. 😂 Fight back? She's already started.

From Ch. 25

She made a promise, then and there. If she ever got out of this room, she would do nothing but good, for the rest of her life. Wherever she found to do it, whether she owed it or not. And if she didn't get out? Well, that was just doing penance in a different way.